#so this one has some pretty gross imagery

[cinnbar-bun]

Monster (JoFoes x Reader)

Characters: Dio Brando (PB), Kars, DIO (SDC), Yoshikage Kira, Diavolo, Enrico Pucci, and Funny Valentine (sorry I have not finished JJL yet so no [spoiler])

Prompt: "He's a wolf in disguise / But I can't stop staring in those evil eyes."

Summary: Their "love" for you comes in many different, untraditional ways. Some more dangerous than the others.

Rating: Mixture of SFW + NSFW, but please mind the warnings.

Notes: Reader is GN! and no specific body parts are mentioned for them. Spoilers I guess for their plans? Reader is a human in all of them, Reader replaces Shinobu + Hayato's roles, not much NSFW for Pucci's part in all honesty, FV is a widower (no Scarlet involved).

Warnings: Toxic relationships, MAJOR power imbalances for all of them (maybe minus Kira's). Heavy religion mentions for Pucci (although Reader is not specified to be Christian). This isn't soft or lovey-dovey (but I can do one later), so pleaseeeeee do not read if those kinds of topics make you uncomfortable.

Word Count: ~4.5k (kill me I lost my mind writing this)

Read on my AO3 here!

Taglist (if you'd like to be added, fill out the form in my pinned): @adeadcreator @bruabbina @gingernut1314 @over--heaven

Dio Brando (Phantom Blood) 

He most likely was pursuing you long before the mask ever took hold of him. He didn’t do it out of pure love- more likely it was for entertainment and as a chance to hold another thing over Jonathan. 

Dio despises how Jonathan attempts to be friendly with you and often will do what it takes to turn you against the poor guy. 

He doesn’t even know why he is so adamant Jonathan stays away from you, even more so than with anyone else. He feels a possessiveness towards you that cannot be contained or described in words. 

He masks most of his disturbing thoughts and possessiveness for you underneath a facade of charming elegance. He’ll play the part of a picture perfect boyfriend for as long as he needs to. 

But even he has to admit he has trouble holding back all these disgusting feelings for you. You frustrate him in a way few ever have and ever will. 

Despite his haughty attitude over Jonathan and his eagerness to get ahead, Dio is actually grossed out by himself tremendously with you. He recognizes after getting wasted once again that he is just like his bastard of a father, Dario, and it settles in a gross pit in the bottom of his stomach. 

It’s wretched, honestly. While he continuously acts bigger and better than ever to get you to fall further for him, he refuses intimacy or overtly physical gestures. Sharing Dario’s blood with this body makes him sickened at attempting to do anything like that with you. 

Compared to his earlier brazen behavior, when he begins to get possessive and attached to you, he almost retreats and refuses to allow himself the chance at intimacy with you. 

However… once he puts on the mask and rejects his humanity, Dio becomes a whole new wicked beast. 

While he still has sentimental feelings for you, his aggressiveness grows almost tenfold. 

Likes to have you sit on his lap while he strokes your head and monologues about his ideals or shows you horrifying imagery. 

Blood. Lots of blood. 

You’re the only one he attempts to keep alive and refuses to let the others feed off of. If you are to ever be used as sustenance, it is by him and him alone. He gets actively violent against his subordinates if they even think of touching you.

In this stage, he’s more open to intimacy. A bit more, but not at his full peak (we’ll get to that later). 

However, the arousal he has is mostly fueled by his bloodlust and hunger. Feedings of you tend to occur after one of his many minions causes some chaos or he gets word of more destruction and feels a possessive streak. 

He is pretty sensual, taking his time to showcase how much stronger he is, how much better he is now that he has become an undead horror of the night. But that sensuality is still layered with a hint of hunger and obsessiveness towards you that he cannot contain. 

He’s less controlled about his feelings now towards you. His eccentricities make him more likely to just take you randomly at anytime without a care of what is going on around him. And he will verbally tell you them aloud now, enabled by his own inhumanity. 

“I can smell your fear, darling. Your heart is pounding fast… tell me, do you desire something more than this innocent petting, dear?” 

Loves to bite you and leave marks on you. He likes to have his fangs scratch against your skin before he sucks on that spot. His favorite places include your neck but also in more hidden places like your inner thighs. 

Your blood is the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. He’s addicted to the taste and savors it more than a fine wine. He has to remind himself to take it easy because as much as he loves your taste, you’re still mortal and he has to keep you alive. 

Kars 

As a Pillar Man, he does not think highly of humans like you. You are a mere mortal, and where you belong is below him. Hardly even worth a glance at all. 

But for some reason, despite your status, he found himself protecting you from an encounter with someone trying to rob you late at night. He doesn’t even know why he jumped in to do so, but the look of reverence and awe in your eyes at his display of strength made him… intrigued. 

He doesn’t hold back. He tells you everything, because, really, what are you going to do about it? You couldn’t escape even if you tried. 

And now, you live your life as his human… pet? Partner? Servant? Thing…? 

He’s very unclear about it. Some days he ignores you, and other days he mulls over his thoughts to you while he strokes your head. 

Kars rarely ever gets aroused. He’s not a primitive beast and he’s very focused on his goals. 

But, intellectually, he is curious about how you behave around him. He kind of likes the attention you give him and he recognizes how you’re affected by him physically. 

One thing he’s super proud of? His voice. He knows how his voice can turn you on and drive you mad. He likes to get close to your and have his breath tickle your skin before he whispers words of praise for you doing so well for him. 

“Oh, little one, you’re shivering. Are you afraid? Or are you excited?” 

His favorite thing is to get you incredibly aroused while barely touching you. 

Enjoys you riding his thigh- you look like a wanton little beast who can barely contain themself from him. 

Kars likes you vocal, so that means you better be moaning, groaning, gasping, sobbing, and thanking him loudly. He doesn’t care who hears. If you try to hold your voice back he gets rougher to have you be louder. 

Most of your intimate encounters will be him getting you off in order to humiliate yourself/hear you praise him. But in the few times he does find himself craving your body, be prepared. 

He is huge. That doesn’t need to be stated but he’s big. Muscular. Strong. Tall. And he’s got full control of nearly every fiber of his body. As the perfect being, he knows he’s well-endowed and uses it to his advantage. 

Some days he’s merciful and likes to take his time and prepare you. He’ll coo to you as if you are a mindless little animal (you probably will be after how well he stimulates you) and praise you for taking him so well.

“How precious. Control your breaths, pet. You can’t be this exhausted when we’ve barely begun yet. Now… relax yourself.” 

Other days, he’s merciless and will use you without abandon. His cruelty and dominating nature comes out full force. 

“Hmph, is this how you treat your new god? Beg better, or I’ll stop. You should be grateful I even deign to touch your mortal body.” 

Although he insists he is not affected by your presence or that you are but a toy for him to entertain himself with, if someone were to threaten to harm or take you back (ie. Joseph/Caesar), he will step in and put an end to that foolish thought. 

“It is unwise of you to think that you will take what is mine away from me.” 

DIO (Stardust Crusaders)

A Dio fully in touch with his desires with little remorse or care. This new body of his makes him more confident and lecherous. 

The many ‘victims’ that take up his bedchambers are usually fodder he disposes of quickly. And the ones that are ‘lucky’ enough to escape are very few. 

You happen to be fortunately (or unfortunately) be his favorite. And being Dio’s favorite means many things. 

You get special privileges almost no one else receives. Only you are allowed to caress and touch him so brazenly and easily, and only you can get somewhat mouthy with him. 

He spoils you with fancier foods and drinks to fill you to your heart’s content. While others can argue over scraps, he gives you the opportunity to sit on his lap and feed him. And if he’s feeling nice, he’ll feed you too. 

You also are practically immune to anything, so long as you keep remaining his favorite. If a minion tries something with you? Dead. Someone from the ‘harem’ insults you? Dead. Hell, a bird made too loud of a noise? Dead. He finds it hilarious to inflict damage due to his whims and somewhat twisted obsession with you. 

“Hoh? Does it please you, knowing your lord is willing to go to such lengths to keep you safe? Now, what will you do to showcase how pleased you are?” 

Most people catch on very quickly to stay away from you, lest they face an untimely death. 

But it does mean he expects you to serve his every whim quickly. He’s so demanding with you, annoyingly so, actually, and he does it to mess with you. You’re his favorite but he will still be a joker with you. 

He feeds on you often, but is in enough control to reign himself from taking all your blood. Sometimes he “jokes” that he just wants to drain you dry, but it’s up in the air. 

Dio is pretty selfish in bed. Often he lays back and expects you to ride him, like a good pet should do for their lord. Go on, earn your keep. 

He enjoys clawing at your skin and caressing the scratches he leaves on you later on. 

Is not ashamed of making a public spectacle of you if he feels like it. Get used to him continuing to pound into you while Hol Horse attempts to give him a report update. 

He takes his frustration and anger out on you physically. When he gets news that the Crusaders have foiled another batch of minions, he might go get his violent (and bloody) fill with a few random mortals, then return to you and sternly tell you to get on your knees. The stone cold expression on his face makes the room drop a few degrees and he will not talk much in these sessions. 

Dio likes putting you in difficult situations for the thrill of it. Your reactions are always interesting, solidifying his interest in you. 

He does admit that he’d probably never put you first above his plans (which he seldom talks about except when you two are relaxing after an intense night) and sardonically chuckles that he may enjoy you now, but it can all change if you stop being ‘fun’ for him. 

But when Hol Horse attempts to grab you to threaten Dio, Dio’s face hardens in a way no one has ever seen before, and Hol Horse immediately aborts the plan. You’ve never seen Dio look that terrifying before. 

He doesn’t speak of that event again, instead telling you to return to the room and stay there. 

Expect him to keep him closer and have a tighter grip around you. 

Yoshikage Kira 

Hiding in plain sight has never been so easy for Kira after having his face switched with the poor sucker at Cinderella salon. 

He could lie a bit longer, play pretend as a dutiful husband as this random man whose appearance he has taken. 

He returns home to see you, the partner of the man he just took over, and he knows he’s in for trouble. He’s going to have to not only fend off suspicion from everyone else in town, but especially within his own home. He no longer has a safe space and it frustrates him. 

He has never been in a formal romantic relationship, but he attempts to act ‘normal’, keeping some distance but still ‘polite’. 

You don’t seem to suspect much- or maybe you’re just so happy to see some changes in your former husband- and always like to chat with Kira. At first he finds it dull and grating, despising how you talk about nothing useful. 

But he can’t be too bland, so he’ll respond back. Usually one word responses and the like just to satiate you enough to get him off his back. 

However, you’ll occasionally discuss a topic he is more interested in and then he’ll give you more of his personal opinion on the subject. Kira didn’t expect to find some comfort with having another person to share these discussions with. 

And while he hated the fact his normal schedule before acting as your husband changed, he slowly starts to grow fond of his new routine with you. Waking up and receiving a goodbye kiss before he goes off to work has become his new morning energizer. Coming home to see the table set with you waiting for him makes the nights a bit more pleasant. 

He’ll never really recognize if he enjoys this for real or if he’s doing this to keep up the act of a ‘good husband’. He’ll just let the days continue to go on like this while he loses the others off his back. 

Although, one thing that really took him off guard was your heavy affection and sexual desires for him. You have nice hands, he’ll give you that, but he was so taken aback by your behavior. Apparently, throughout the whole night when you dressed up extra nice for him and made him his favorite meal and were complimenting him and swooning over him- that supposedly meant you wanted to take him to the room for some bed breaking action. 

He honestly was so shocked that this was what your behavior meant and he had take a moment to recollect himself. Kira declined that first night because he truly has never had sex with another person, less so someone he was pretending to be married to. He was not mentally prepared for that to be thrown at him.

After calming himself down in a few days, he does attempt to be more physically intimate with you. 

Yeah he’s mostly focused on your hands at first. He still doesn’t recognize if he actually loves you yet, but he won’t decline you giving him a handjob or stroking your hands over his toned body. And he’s always ready to be licking your hands. 

After a few more times of these rather awkward and selfish sessions, he does pay it back and begins to explore your body more. He finds himself fascinated with how your chest rises and falls with every shaky breath and moan you let out. He likes the way your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

His compulsive tendencies do appear in the bedroom, and he does let them out, but they honestly come off as roleplay. It’s kinda hot to hear your normally calm husband just huff and lecture you while he bends your body around roughly to ‘set you straight’.  

“Enough of that. Seriously, can you not even put yourself together correctly? If you can’t dress properly, then don’t bother wearing anything at all.” 

He’s way too deep into this marriage life with you, getting extra frustrated if anyone dares to disturb whatever you two have going on. 

Diavolo 

He falls in lust first. He hasn’t learned his lesson from the last time. Diavolo is a heavy believer in the concept of ‘Fate’, but he believes he is the ‘King’ who can overcome it. 

Surely… ‘fate’ wanted you to be his subordinate. 

You do a wonderful job, you never ask any questions that are unnecessary, and you never stray too far from what he’s asked. You always manage to get the job done in your own, unique way. 

You’re his most trusted subordinate (underneath Doppio), and Diavolo can’t help but feel that selfish urge to contain you as a part of him forever. You’re attractive, so cunning, and so loyal to him- something that makes him believe you were meant to be ‘his’. 

He’s run from his past for so long, but that makes him cocky. If you were to somehow lose his interest, he surely would overcome this ‘challenge’ and defy your fate, too. You’ll never know what hit you. Not to mention, he completely believes he’ll be able to keep you in check and under his thumb. He’s learned that much from his time.

So he lets himself be known to you, after all, good servants deserve some ‘rewards’ from their king, do they not? 

He is a cruel man in bed, doing almost everything in his power to exert his control over you and dominate you. 

Bondage, toys, threats, punishments, and even using King Crimson are not too out of line for this sadist. 

He enjoys overstimulating you, loving the way you babble nonsense and tell him it’s ‘too much’. 

The louder and messier it is, the better. Anything to show you who is the one in control and in charge, and where your proper place as his most devoted servant is. 

He insists on a BDSM lifestyle outside of the bedroom too. Diavolo is not short on funds, so he’ll gift you an expensive accessory (probably with built in tracking on it) as a ‘reminder’ of who you belong to. 

But knowing Diavolo, it’s a veiled threat. Fail to comply with his demands, fail to be entertaining to him, or worst of all, fail to keep his trust- you’ll be dealt with swiftly. Choose wisely when he ‘graciously’ lets you roam free. 

He’s pretty giving otherwise. His constant jumping from villa to villa or hotel makes him take you with him and allow you some luxuries in those areas. You will always have a private suite away from the rabble and be able to relax. 

Diavolo finds it sweet that you’ll trace the paisley tattoos/markings on his arm (sorry I like tattoos so uh-). He’ll let you do it for a bit, all while smirking down at you in amusement. 

“Enjoying yourself, tesoro mio?” 

Gets incredibly angry at the thought of someone touching you or finding you. Not purely out of love- but as a desire to keep you to him. If someone figured out your relationship with him, he’d have to swiftly deal with them and possibly you to keep himself hidden. 

He does trust Doppio to escort you and take care of you, allowing him to be perhaps the only other person to see you physically and take you around wherever Diavolo needs you to be taken. 

Surprisingly, Diavolo likes to listen to the opera and will play some records for you both to listen to while you both unwind or he is working on mundane things for Passione. 

Enrico Pucci 

A master manipulator who believes everything he’s doing is for your own good. He meets in the prison- you’re down on your luck, but you’re earnest and seeking redemption. How could he not want to give you the peace you’ve been searching for? 

As the chaplain of Green Dolphin, he does get more access to you than others get, as well as allowing you the chance to take a break from your prison activities to talk or assist him. 

He believes the chance meeting with you, you who was so pitiful in the chapel and begging for anything to comfort you in your hard time, was another mechanization of “gravity”. 

It was simply fate to meet you, and it was fated that he had to be the one to save you. Perhaps this was a second chance at something he needed to do to be redeemed. Perhaps this was him seeing a kindred spirit within you.

Pucci takes it upon himself to offer you counsel or give you a moment of reprise. Once you two get closer, he begins to encourage more discussion and debate from you. 

“Humans are powerless to oppose fate. Wouldn’t you agree on that?” 

But Pucci is obviously not the completely helpful priest he acts as, as his more sinister and rough behaviors come out the more he is ‘pulled’ to you. 

Pucci does continue to use Whitesnake as a mouthpiece, often to voice more ‘warnings’ to you so you do not get scared of Pucci directly. Obviously Whitesnake is just a separate being from Pucci, and you have nothing to worry about, because you obviously were not planning on doing anything to jeopardize Pucci’s goals or ideals, right? 

He uses his authority and standing in Green Dolphin to get his way. Whether it is ridding of annoying prisoners or guards who bother you, or having you isolated as ‘punishment’ for perhaps doing something he didn’t like, Pucci will pull as many strings as he must. 

Only he has your best interests in mind, and only he is the one who can give you salvation and the hope you long for. He is your ‘fate’ so long as you comply. 

He has to admit, he is curious to get your Memory DISC to see all your memories. But he recognizes that would possibly be a step too far (he has some boundaries, he thinks) and attempts to get you to admit your memories on your own. 

Incredibly attentive and will recall anything you’ve told him with 100% accuracy. It can be comforting and nice when you want to vent or talk to him. Do not think you can lie your way around him, though. Whether you’ve intentionally lied to him or not, he will promptly correct you and tell you to be truthful. 

Pucci believes the Heaven Plan will save you and make you more willing to accept your fate. He confesses to you that what he’s doing will make you happier, will make you more free, and will make your tears dry up. 

Although he says that, sometimes, when he looks at you, he does get those same feelings from before he met Dio. Those dreams of running away, running far away and committing blasphemous acts with you, much like those of the novels he’s read. He brushes them aside and counts prime numbers to rid himself of those ideas. He’s so close to his goal. 

“Enough, Pucci. Enough. You’ve committed to this. You’re doing this for the good of humanity. Even if it’s hard, they’ll understand. They’ll come to learn to love their new life and accept their fate with a smile.” 

Funny Valentine 

Funny prioritizes public appearance and his goals over his private life. Despite Scarlet being gone from the picture, he isn’t all that distraught. But being a ‘widower’ does give him some sympathy from the public that he uses to leverage good PR. 

And you are such a helpful assistant to him. You always have everything under control, every plan together, and whatever he may need quickly finished and given to him without him having to utter a word. 

That competence is quite attractive to him, more so than your physical features (which he does enjoy and did catch his eye before). 

He thinks to himself as a joke that he’d just adore having multiple copies of you running around the White House (and in the room) thanks to D4C, but he knows how dangerous it would be to play with your life like that. You’re so useful to him now, so he’ll care for you. 

Funny pulls lots of all-nighters, especially during the Steel Ball Run, and that means, likewise, you are too, as his devout assistant. This does mean he’s more tired, but also more personable than his stern public face. 

Sometimes he rambles about anecdotes from his time in the army or working as a senator. Sometimes he’ll tell a bad joke that makes you laugh from the fact that the strong president would say such a strange thing out of nowhere. But sometimes, he’ll admit how lonely it is, being the most powerful man in America. Especially without anyone beside him. 

He takes advantage of the sob story he has to get you to be more vulnerable with him. And when you comfort him and offer him some help, he is quite happy internally that you did exactly what he hoped you’d do, but outwardly acts humble. 

“How kind of you, dear. You needn’t worry about my nonsense, though. You aren’t on my payroll to be my personal therapist. I already stress you enough, as is.” 

But you insist and who is he to deny you? 

It doesn’t take long after that for your relationship to go beyond professional boundaries. A touch here, a longing gaze there- and Funny has to admit he enjoys the thrill of having a secret affair going on with his assistant right under the nose of the rest of the workers there. 

And, scandalously, Funny is a freak. A really freaky guy. 

Don’t get fooled by his professional nature and good posture that he displays for the newspapers. Funny is perhaps the most experimental and freaky man on the list, willing to try almost anything at least once (and it does give a good excuse to take you to his chambers). 

He indulges in plenty of kinks; bondage, domination (whether you or him), roleplay, exhibitionism- it doesn’t matter. 

But he will try to reign himself in because he is the president, even if he’d love nothing more than to have you on his desk and weeping for him. His biggest kink is roleplay, and in private, he will want to be addressed differently. This must go on at all times behind closed doors. Failure to adhere to his rules or attempting to embarrass him publicly will result in punishment. 

“You little brat! Have I not been clear on what you were to do? Or were you hoping I would take matters into my own hands? Hm, since you seem to enjoy acting so improper, perhaps I shall reteach you manners. Lay down, now. I hope you’re prepared for what’s coming.” 

Funny can look calm during any arguments he has with you, thus making him a tough man to debate. He is authoritative and believes he knows what’s best. While some backtalk is fine for the most part, after a while he puts his foot down and tells you to stop. 

But then you two see each other after you’ve calmed down, and he holds you while apologizing. He’ll insist he loves you very, very much, but he’s just under so much stress and while you may have your heart in the right place, there are some things that just can’t go as you like. 

Possessive when it comes to you, keeping you monitored by guards and by his side almost 24/7. You weren’t planning on betraying the country you love so much, were you, dear?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

ok i have a sex ed-related ask but it's kind of nasty/gross so feel free to just skip it, i won't be offended. im really sorry if this grosses you out, i hope it doesn't i just have no idea where else to ask this kind of question.

sooooo I'm kind of interested in trying anal sex someday and I've tried uhh poking around in there while masturbating before, and while it feels good, I've noticed that pretty much every time I go past one knuckle I end up with, um, a little poop on my finger(s). it's not like a lot but it's definitely there.

from what I've read that's apparently not supposed to happen unless you already had to poop, but when I'm doing it I never feel like I have to go and even when I try to go afterward nothing comes out. is there something wrong with me or is there something other people are doing that i don't know about?? I absolutely do not want to subject anyone else's hand/dick to That so should I just resign myself to never getting to try it?

hi anon,

nothing gross about this; anal sex and poop are both perfectly natural! and whatever you've been reading, poop's a part of regular part of anal sex. we need to be careful about keeping it clean, because fecal matter can unfortunately be a bit more dangerous than pee or other fluids affiliated with sex, but that's easy peasy!

first off, simplest things: gloves. like I was talking about just yesterday, body-safe, sex-friendly gloves are dummy easy to get ahold of. making sure to put down a towel or blanket you're comfortable getting dirty is also a good idea, just in case bigger accidents happen. playing in the bathtub or shower are also good options for purposes of easy cleaning.

there's no guaranteed way to prevent pooping, but youtube sexologist Lindsey Doe has a classic video on anal sex prep with some helpful tips including learning how to track your bowel movements:

douching to clear out your bowls with water on short notice is also an option, but I need to emphasize that this is a risky behavior that should not be done with frequency for the sake of your anal tissue (it's delicate!); 2-3 times a week TOPS (no pun intended). don't worry, I have a video for that too:

(no explicit imagery in this video, YT just sucks.)

in regards to potential partners: listen. sex is messy. not just anal sex, all sex has the potential to get messy because bodies just do stuff. if someone's not willing to take that risk by doing anal that's their prerogative, but that has no bearing on you. you're doing just fine :)

[ambrosalovesyou]

Just a thought (I am not confident enough w my writing to write this out like as a whole fanfic so…)

- imagine you are a siren, and you work under Azul as a sort of trap for the boys of NRC so that Azul can get more contracts.

- as a siren, you’re naturally alluring, and you amped it up considerably ever since you signed a contract w Azul. You get paid by the amount of people who pay him / sign a contract with him.

- let’s say the way this works is generally simple: you find a man, your target, and flirt with him. Your melodic voice lured him in, and your touches were so fleeting to him. You tell him you love a man who is open about his feelings, so he tells you about his sorrows. You tell him that Azul can fix these problems. (Or, if you’re really cold, you tell him that you can’t be with him because he isn’t pretty enough, causing him to go to Azul to fix that).

- No matter the method, you are very good at luring them in. All for the expense of your love and affections, or that they genuinely believe that Azul can help them because why would someone as beautiful and sweet as you lie to him?

- When the day is done, you make a trip to Azul’s office and collect your payment. You’re so valuable that weekly or monthly paychecks aren’t enough - you’re an expensive siren, and you need the best to keep up your appearance!

- Of course, Azul obliges. Ever since you showed up, business has been booming! You kiss him on the cheek everytime, you were a sort of dog on a leash for him. (And honestly you didn’t really mind, the idea of you with a chain around your neck with Azul holding the other end and smirking down at you is pleasant imagery. You’re a siren! You’re born to be promiscuous!)

- You were easy to maintain compared to the twins, you found it fun to trick people, to see men grovel and weep for you, about their issues, and for them to inevitably not fulfil their contracts and have to work for Azul for however long.

- However, Azul was… changing. He’s been giving you some excuses for you to see him whenever possible, he believed that maybe if you saw him more in his office, you’d leave him with a new kiss mark each time. But no - you’d only ever do it if you’re collecting your paycheck.

- sometimes he would ramble about his business and you’d go “aw, wow, I’m happy for you! Good job, darling~” and his stomach would do flips but he would reprimand you with a blushing face.

- Jade and Floyd are catching on, you can hear them chuckling or Floyd going “hey hey, Azul, you got a thing for the siren now~?” Or “gross… PDA, keep that to yourself!”

- and what doesnt help at all is the fact you have been going online putting yourself on the line. The boys you send in always go “I want (Y/N) to be mine! You can’t keep them here against their will!”

- have you been telling people that you’re kept here against your will? Azul suspects it’s just to make them scared and have a sense of urgency to protect you or to save you like a ‘woe is me damsel/dude in distress’ sort of thing, but what if it’s true?? Do you hate him?

- Contracts have become even more stressful than usual now too. Of course with you on the line, Floyd and Jade have to make sure that the contract fails each time, so that you don’t get taken from him.

- and then you laugh when he tells you off and just blow him a kiss? Like! The nerve! Seriously, listen to him, will you?

- one day, when you came to pick up your check after a week of this ‘I’ll save (Y/N)’ nonsense, you got the check from his desk and walked out WITHOUT giving him a kiss on the cheek.

- “aren’t you forgetting something?” He asked, and you turned around with a smirk. “Oh, did I?” He felt his skin turn red with embarrassment, like a tomato. He always thought he had you on a leash, but it turns out it was the other way around. He’d been waiting all day, like a dog waiting for its owner, for its treat - your affection, your kisses, and your kiss marks which he kept on until the next morning where he HAD to take them off for school.

- you gave him two kiss marks to make up for the fact that you’ve been such a pain the last week, and you know it because he’s been looking more stressed out and crazier than usual.

- “please stop telling people you’ll be with them if it weren’t for me..” “why?” “Because, well, you’re a valuable asset and you made a contract with me, and you have to fulfill it. Besides, you don’t actually hate me that much.. yes? Right?” He asked, clearly seeking for reassurance.

- You shook your head and put a hand on his cheek, and gave him a kiss. He literally nearly jolted like he got shocked from Jade or something when you did. You pulled back and giggled while walking out of the room.

- great seven, why did he have to feel this way about *you*? A siren? This is surely more trouble than it’s worth, and what would pining after you do for Monstro Lounge?

- … well, for once, he might care about something more than the lounge. And it was you; his very own employed siren.

So trash ik but I can’t use it for an oc so someone else pls make this better for me if u can write PLEASE PLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPSLSLL

[stairset]

Aight now that I've slept a bit and am less tired and have had some time to think about it, here is my hopefully coherent enough attempt to get my thoughts across on the Degenerate video, because I'm The Starset Guy and this is like the first major controversy they've ever had and even I have concerns about it and thus feel the need to get my thoughts out there. Cut-off for those who don't wanna scroll past all this cause it ended up being kinda long:

So first off just to get it out of the way: the song itself is great, as is to be expected with Starset. Vocals great, lyrics great, etc. No surprises there. Now to the actually controversial part, the music video. If you even wanna call it a music video, the video title calls it a visualizer instead but whatever. Semantics. Not the point.

So yeah, to start, I'm not exactly a fan of AI "art" for well, all the reasons everyone else has already brought up about it. But as other people have pointed out, in the case of this video there ARE some nuances to its usage that are worth discussing before jumping the gun and canceling the band. So first I'm actually gonna defend it a bit by going over the artistic intention behind it, then also point out the reasonable concerns that people have with it in spite of that intention.

So, I know this band. I know the lore and the narrative and the central themes and all that. The band's story centers around how technology shouldn't be abused by greedy corporate shitheads lest it ruin our society. Literally just a few months ago they released a book where the main antagonist was an AI that gained sentience and tried to enslave humanity. I'm not parasocial enough to pretend that I Know Dustin, but I know what he's about. And he's smart enough that I have to believe he didn't just make a move like this for no reason with no self-awareness. So yeah, I 100% get what the intent is here. As Dustin has said and others have repeated, the AI usage is clearly meant to be "ironic" and satirical, which becomes pretty clear when you actually watch the full video. Essentially it's using AI imagery to make fun of AI images. Real "I used the stones to destroy the stones" moment I guess. Lyrically, the song itself isn't SPECIFICALLY about AI, but it definitely is a big criticism of modern consumerism and commercialism in general, essentially talking about how we feel the need to stuff our faces with corporate-produced shit while our society is slowly falling apart around us. And while AI certainly isn't the sole problem there, it has certainly become a notable aspect of that larger problem, so it makes sense to satirize it to get the larger point across. The visualizer is gross and uncanny to look at on purpose. And it's clearly not trying to trick you into thinking it's NOT AI or anything, not trying to pass as something an actual human made with their own hands. It doesn't want you to be impressed by the visuals, it wants you to be disturbed by them. I compared it to the video for Linkin Park's "Lost" from last year since that was also made with AI visuals and as much as I also love that band and that song I'm still not exactly a fan of that particular choice. But the reason I bring it up is because I do think there's an interesting contrast in how it's being used in these two videos, as with the video for Lost it really did feel like it was using AI just for the sake of using it, riding the current trend, whereas here with Degenerate there's at least an actual reason for it, a reason that one can at least understand even if they don't like or agree with it.

Apparently Dustin's also said that they did pay artists to make the images for the specific purpose of running them through the AI for the video, though didn't really elaborate beyond that. But just based on what we know it does sound like these were consenting artists who knew what they were getting into here and were compensated for it. So it's not like it's a case of just stealing art or trying to replace actual humans to save a few bucks or anything, which is good since that's obviously one of the main concerns with AI in general.

There's also the fact that, as much as I don't like AI shit, the harsh reality is it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Personally if I had a magic button that could indefinitely halt all development on AI stuff until I can be sure that everyone will use it ethically and not abuse it then I would definitely hit that button, but the fact of the matter is that, for better or worse, it's here, it exists, and it will continue to evolve and be used. We can't just un-invent what's already been invented. And I'd argue that specific, limited, one-off uses like this are probably just about the most ethical way to implement it. Though of course I personally would rather this STAY a one-off thing, I absolutely do not want this kind of thing to become like, a regular thing for them. Or a regular thing in general.

But of course this video doesn't exist in a vacuum, there are other nuances here. Because as still more people have pointed out, using AI to make fun of AI is still using it. It's not like the video is in a completely neutral position, just commentating on the situation from afar. Even if it's making fun of AI, the fact that it's using it to do so means it's still feeding that AI, it is now another step forward in the evolution and proliferation of the thing that it's criticizing. One could argue that they maybe could have found a way to poke fun at it without actually using it. There's definitely a certain irony to be discussed in Making Fun Of The Thing By Doing The Thing. Is it being clever and meta? Or is it lacking forethought? Or maybe it's a bit of both. I don't know. Either way it's not exactly the best look, regardless of the intention and thought process behind it. Insert Torment Nexus joke here.

And although I SAID earlier that the satirical intent is pretty clear, it might not be clear to everyone. Even if the video isn't MEANT to set a precedent, it could unintentionally set a precedent anyway by inspiring copycats. Because unfortunately some people are simply too stupid to get obvious satire, especially if they're the ones the satire is aimed at. So it's entirely possible certain people will just see the trippy weird AI visuals and either won't realize or won't care what the the purpose behind them is and will just want to do it themselves because they think it's cool. And then THAT raises the whole question of "how much should you blame the person who made the satire for people being too dumb to get it, especially in cases like this where the satire is incredibly unsubtle and on the nose?" But then that's getting into a whole 'nother topic entirely so I'm not gonna dive into that.

And then of course there's other concerns like how research has shown that AI has a negative effect on the environment. As far as I know THAT particular concern hasn't been addressed so I don't know if they even considered that, but if they didn't then yeah, that's pretty irresponsible and lacking forethought.

There's also just the matter of personal preference, like even if you get that it's satire you might just think that it's not very good satire which is a fair opinion to have. Like personally I just didn't even really enjoy watching the video despite knowing full-well what The Point of it was.

So, in summation, taking all these points into account, I don't think that this particular usage of AI tools is THAT bad. I might even go as far as to say that it's like, fine I guess, at least in isolation. I think many assumed the worst before it came out but I don't think it's worth suddenly denouncing the band or going all "well actually they sucked the whole time and I totally never liked them anyway" or anything like that. Though I'm sure some people will start doing that. I'd say this is a somewhat questionable but not-too-egregious move, that there are legitimate concerns to be had and that I do share those concerns, and as I said I don't want this kind of thing to become the norm for them or for any other band, but I also don't think we should immediately conclude that the band has been Ruined Forever or anything. This kind of thing is a slippery slope, so I guess all we can really do is hope that Dustin doesn't end up falling down it. But that's my take on the whole thing. Maybe I'm being fair and nuanced and unbiased. Or maybe I'm just a hypocrite who's bending over backwards to give my fav the benefit of a doubt. I don't know. All I know is I just wanted to get all this off my chest at once so I can hopefully stop thinking about it and just enjoy the song on its own.

[valleydean]

Chapter 13 [Read Here]

CHAMPION Part III of Heavyweight a deancas boxing au by valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) read from the beginning | playlist

SUMMARY: Brooklyn, 1933. Dean Winchester, the number one contender, trains to become the next Heavyweight Champion of the World, and this time he won't let anything get in his way. Title holder Castiel Novak has second thoughts about retiring, especially when someone from his past arrives in New York and asks for his help. Meanwhile, a new contender rises to fame and threatens to complicate both of Dean and Cas' ambitions - and their relationship.

CHAPTER PREVIEW:

“How’d you sleep?” Jo asked as she spooned ground coffee into the drip.

“What are you, my mother?” Dean grumbled, his voice coarse. She rolled her eyes in response.

He rolled his neck to get the tension out, but it was no use. Especially not with the hangover headache lighting up his skull. 

Alcohol aside, he’d had a hell of a night after Cas had kicked him out without any money for a taxi. Dean had to skip fare like he used to when he was a kid and take the subway all the way to the West Side. He was lucky Jo let him in, even if she said she’d only let him stay for one night “and then you gotta get your shit together.” Dean thought about pushing his luck, but she’d seemed pretty strict.

He pulled the package of steak out from the cushion and frowned down at it. The sight alone made the stale alcohol in his stomach slosh uncomfortably.

“Is that my steak?” Jo scolded.

Dean looked up at her and shrugged innocently. “Needed it for the swelling.”

“That’s gross! I wanted to eat that!”

His irritation spiked. He had enough problems without having to worry about Jo’s dinner. “What else was I supposed to do? The only other thing you have is ice and that melted in, like, five seconds!” He gestured in the direction of the ice box behind her. “You know, for a woman, you’re bad at keeping the pantry stocked.”

Jo dropped her hands to the counter. “Do you have any idea how misogynistic that was?”

Dean grumbled, “Yeah, tell it to the suffragettes.”

The smell of coffee permeated the apartment. It woke Dean up marginally.

Jo huffed and walked around the counter to the space that counted as the living room. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. “You know I don’t go to those stupid meetings.”

Dean was glad there was at least one woman in his life who didn’t.

“Anyway, I gotta get to work in a half hour, which means you have to leave,” Jo told him.

Dean sighed and leaned back against the chair. “Where the fuck am I supposed to go?”

“Not my problem.”

He shot her a fake smile and hummed. “Thanks for the sympathy.”

Jo rolled her eyes again and pushed her shoulders off of the wall. She stood directly in front of the chair and arched a thin eyebrow down at him. “You want my advice? Go grovel to Cas to let you back in.”

Dean puckered his lips. “Why do I always gotta be the one to go to him? He should be groveling! He lied to me, remember?” His anger dwindled as the reality of it washed over him. “Him and Lee.”

Was anyone telling Dean the truth?

Finally, some empathy played on Jo’s expression. “Lee’s an asshole.”

“And Cas?”

“He’s an asshole, too,” Jo said, “but he’s your asshole.”

Dean wrinkled his nose in distaste at the imagery.

“You know what I mean,” Jo said, dropping her arms to her sides. “Look, I’m not saying what he did wasn’t shitty, but he had good intentions.”

Dean thumbed at his ring, eyes downcast. “Yeah, he always does.” And look at where it always got them.

“So? Wouldn’t you prefer an asshole who at least means well? You and him have fought before, and you always make up. So make up.”

She made it sound so easy, but Dean had no idea what he was going to say when he saw Cas again. He knew what Cas wanted him to say. That he’d overreacted, that he’d done some soul searching and was okay with Cas keeping the belt, that he forgave Cas for keeping secrets yet again.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t mean any of it. And he really wasn’t in the mood to hear more of Cas’ half-assed excuses and justifications.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Bob's Burgers Halloween specials ranked

(Because screw it, why not?)

11. Tina and the Real Ghost--This one's more awkward than funny. I honestly feel bad for Tina for falling in love with an empty box...and grow to hate Tammy for being so petty to steal the box away from her. Even the B-Plot of ghost hunters in the restaurant isn't all that funny. Honestly, the funniest bit is when Bob's unexpectedly swarmed with bugs after a brief moment of cockiness. Other than that, pretty weak episode.

10. The Wolf of Wharf Street--PROBABLY the most irresponsible Linda's been with the kids and Bob believing Teddy's a werewolf was a bit of a stretch. Still, some spooky atmosphere carries this one a bit, so I can't hate it THAT much.

9. Apple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)--There need to be more episodes with Louise and Jessica. Their friendship is easy and cute in a lot of moments. Anyways, as for the episode, it's pretty standard. Some REAL Halloween stuff doesn't happen until half way through and the jokes aren't all that funny. There's barely any attention on the lesson, making it feel more like a waste of time if anything else. It's just Louise and Jessica's friendship that carries things if anything else (Seriously, MORE of that)

8. Pig Trouble in Little Tina--A great episode about peer pressure and with a fun subplot about Bob's gross ear wax. It's just that none of it screams HALLOWEEN to me. There's some spooky imagery, but a lot of this episode feels like something that could happen in ANY episode, especially Bob's subplot. Great episode, but not so great of a Halloween special.

7. Heartbreak Hotel-oween--This one's cute. That's all I can say.

6. Teen-a Witch--Tina trying to be a witch is more cute than it should be, even if the jokes aren't strong with this one. Thankfully the subplot of Bob obsessing over who's stealing his jack-o-lanterns is funny enough to carry it.

5. The Pumpkinening--Weird title, but it's an episode with Gayle. They're naturally weird, and this one's no exception as Linda and Gayle hunting down who knows that they smashed pumpkins from a contest. Add that with a warm ending and a great subplot of Bob dealing with the stress of being a house with GOOD candy, and you got something fun.

4. Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street--The kids hunting down a candy kidnapper is fun and Bob and Teddy trying to show up an impressive handyman has some good laughs to it. Solid special.

3. Full Bars--It's always fun seeing the Belcher kids use their brand of chaos to do something good. The only thing that drags it down is the guinea pig murder mystery. Some good jokes are there, but I can't help but cringe as Teddy ruins his own party and the payoff isn't all that funny. That credit scene where Bob danced in the fat suit for Linda was cute as shit, though.

2. Fort Night--The introduction to Millie, and a great one at that as she tortures the kids who are in a situation that's...way more dangerous than you think in hindsight. They really were that close to death, huh? Still, a pretty empathetic episode as we all know there's no worse fate for a kid than missing Halloween and you REALLY want them to get out. And I'm sure some parents can relate to Bob and Linda's plight to make a costume for their kids and the payoff for this one is pretty good.

1. The Hauntening--A genuinely creepy and intense special for this show, where the jokes don't take away from the scares but add to them. This really feels like how these characters would react to a horrifying situation, making you fear for their lives even more. And even the big twist in the end doesn't ruin the episode, but adds to it, showing how much this family cares for each other and how much they'll do to make one of them happy. They might have gone a LITTLE far, but it's in that gray area where you can accept it. Being sweet and spooky is no other combination you can get from any other show except for this one, and I love it.

And that's all. Well, for now. Season 14 hasn't had its Halloween special yet. It's probably pulling a Simpsons and waiting until November for some reason. And I'm not waiting until then. This is the Halloween Special on MY blog, so there. Happy Halloween.

[tater-tot-jr]

I think I should put in my two cents considering the Hazbin hotel leaked Angel Dust clip. I’ll say that this post should be one absolutely massive trigger warning. If you’re sensitive please don’t read this, I’m pretty blunt. Also I’m only talking about a small leak but SPOILERS!!!

So before I make any points I’ll start by saying that I’m not an inherent fan of vivziepop, this isn’t meat riding, it’s a genuine attempt at open conversation and discussion. I’ll also say I’m a survivor myself and while I don’t claim to speak for anyone else I have some ground to stand on here. I completely understand that people can be triggered by this type of imagery and will at least skip this particular scene or episode, I promise I’m not talking about you guys.

You wanna know who I am talking about though? The weird ass moral police I’ve been watching mobilize. It’s crazy how people are making a big deal out of this. I’ve seen three arguments and all of them are terrible in themselves and being used to justify terrible behavior.

I’ve only seen people claim three major things, this is a bad depiction of a s/a survivor and situation, this is something that’s too graphic and immoral to put in a TV show, the fact that the singing and dancing lightens the tone in a way people find distasteful. I’m going to be trying to prove why I find these arguments mostly ridiculous and unfounded.

As for argument one, s/a survivors come in all shapes and sizes and hyper sexuality happens to be an incredibly common reaction to sexual trauma. I haven’t watched episode one and two but even if I had I’d still have too small of a sample size to determine the entire tone of an incredibly messed up complex dynamic between too incredibly interesting and layered characters. It’s ridiculous to have so many assumptions and expectations of an *11 second leaked clip.*

Secondly. Creative freedom is possible the most important thing in art. If we didn’t have the freedom to put what we wanted on paper or on screen then we wouldn’t have had so much societal change recently. Just because you might find something distasteful and immoral doesn’t mean it absolutely has to be hated on and removed. It’s okay to not like things because you find them gross, it’s okay to not enjoy graphic depictions of serious subjects, it’s not okay to start internet wars over moral bullshit. It’s okay to be mad in silence sometimes, guys.

Thirdly. I kinda get this one, I don’t agree with it but I do understand the point. The idea you don’t want a serious subject framed with a sexy pop song is not inherently bad, it’s just something that makes me think you wouldn’t have liked Hazbin Hotel anyway. I actually appreciate the fact they are using the creative medium to make bold and shocking decisions but I get some people are sensitive to new things, that’s fine. Where this argument gets ridiculous is when people act like this is very out of line for a show like this. This isn’t a Saturday morning kids cartoon it’s and adult animated show about people in hell. It’s highly likely that this won’t be the worst thing we see, you either need to heed the trigger warnings at the beginning of each episode or get over it.

You’ll notice that I didn’t bring up anything about the merchandise pins or the storyboard artist, I did this because they aren’t arguments but barely related attempts at character assassinations. When you spend five minutes thinking about them critically you come to realize that there is nothing substantial to those arguments.

I’d like to finish up talking about how I think this scene is doing more good than harm. It’s important to make people uncomfortable when you’re talking about things so horrible like s/a and rape. It shouldn’t be meek and palatable for a general audience, it should upset you. I remember hearing something in a video game once that stuck with me. There was a character who said that when you’re sick you need strong medicine and that the strongest medication is very bitter.

I think episode four will be some very bitter medicine.

[shera-dnd]

I'm really sorry to post my replies with images deemed NSFW.

Long story short - Varvara is being pretty much converted using Kyouka as a medium (indirect kiss etc.).

That is creepy and disgusting and should not be viewed as a Bi representation but as something homophobic and harmful.

It is even more creepy and disgusting when You took into this equation that Yuuki pretty much knew how she felt about Kyouka and even approved of said feelings.

Long story short - he should demand nothing, yet he demanded everything.

Once again and this time for the last - dont treat it as a Bi rep but as a something creepy and disgusting. And dont be okay with that.

Thank You.

Well good morning, this was the first thing I saw when I woke up. I feel like a lot of people would have chosen violence upon seeing this, but arguing with or venting at someone on the internet has never solved anything, so how about we make a learning experience out of this?

Okay so, no I did not delete your asks because they had NSFW imagery, I deleted them because they came across as very angry and accusatory

Now I'm not gonna hold that against you right now and we're just gonna have a chat. You said you were an ally to the LGBT community, so I hope that you will sit down and listen to what I have to say. You're free to disagree and argue, but at least listen first

On the point you are trying to make about that scene in the manga. I've decided to catch up on it so I could talk about it properly

And I have to say that I do not see it. Like I believe the term you're looking for is less "conversion therapy" and more "corrective rape". The idea that you can fuck the gay out of a woman is deeply gross and the fact people genuinely believe that is horrifying

BUT I don't think that's what's going on in that scene. It's framed as yet another reward, which as usual exists outside of the control of any of the characters and lands entirely in the box of "things the author thought would be hot at the moment"

It is also expressly said that they're "punishing" each other so that they can better serve Kyouka, once again centering their attraction not on each other, but on someone else

Considering also that from that point on nothing has happened to indicate Varvara was any more into Yuuki or any less into Kyouka than any time before that scene

Now as much as I loved to joke about and headcanon Varvara as a lesbian, I was never under any illusion that the ecchi femdom slave kink manga would give me proper lesbian representation.

Varvara had only expressed attraction to women before and now she showed attraction to a man, to me that shows less lesbian conversion and more like one of those tumblr bi women who absolutely adore women and also have that one pathetic man they're into

The way I read this it's whatever

But you read it differently and you have every right to be grossed out. You have every right to be angry and to drop the manga entirely. I'm not here to defend Mato Seihei no Slave

But I have to ask, as an ally, did you come to me because you wanted the genuine opinion of a queer person? or did you do it because you wanted a queer person to validate the opinion you already had?

Just, you know, do some self reflection on that

Anyways back to Chained Soldier, I'll admit there's plenty of gross shit in it. Like jesus fuck have you seen all the reward scenes with Ren??? and I'll fully admit that the manga is capital P Problematic

I just think that the way we should deal with problematic media is not by shutting it down entirely, but by actually engaging with it, understanding what makes it problematic, and making sure that we don't internalize those parts of it

Problematic media can have a lot of good stuff in it besides all the nasty bits, we just gotta like know how to engage with it in a way that doesn't like change our views for the worse

As for the impact this could have on its readers and how they treat lesbians in real life. I don't think anyone who reads this and actually engages with it will come on to any lesbians and be gross to them, because well Yuuki doesn't come on to... anyone actually.

Our boy is very passive about everything that happens and will downright refuse any sexual advances that are not tied to the rewards. He did not initiate the stuff with Varvara and did not force himself on her

And the people who WOULD come on to lesbians and think they can "set them straight", I don't think they need a manga to validate their disgusting beliefs

But you also said you wanted to contact LGBT organizations in Japan to help fight against this kind of stuff, and you know what you got the spirit there

I don't think a manga being gross is even on the top like 100 things those organizations are trying to deal with in that country, and even if it was there are waaaaaaaay bigger and nastier manga to deal with first

But hey that doesn't mean these people can't use our support, so please consider donating to Stone Wall Japan and Japan Pride House, both organizations that try to help queer people, as well as J-ALL which is trying to help grant legal protections to LGBT+ people in Japan

I'll be posting links at the end of this post and will happily signal boost any other japanese charities sent my way

And just as another note at the end

I disabled anon asks for a reason, and you creating an alt account just to send me an ask is extremely shady behavior. That's a boundary I have set that you chose to disrespect and I have every reason to block you for it. I won't, because I genuinely think you're just a person trying to learn and be validated in your opinion, but just don't do that kind of shit again

anyways I hope you take at least some of what I've said to heart and here are the donation links!

[tortugatalks]

𝗪𝗞 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝘄'𝘀 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀 "𝗪𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗠𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗪𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗺?" 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻|ᴴᶜˢ

𓆉 gender neutral reader

𓆉 established romantic relationship

𓆉 no warnings!

Martin Kratt

"oh yeah, definitely!"

━ does not hesitate at all! already knows you're asking this for shits and giggles and is very much happy to indulge you.

━ goes on to say that he'll keep you warm inside a comfy and spacious glass container with plenty of soil! a nice bedding with enough moisture—all that jazz! all things considered, that's pretty sweet of him... until he jokes about keeping you around for composting, feeding you banana and melon scraps, which now that you think about it, is starting to sound like a nightmare if that's mostly all of what you're gonna do.

━ for as much as you insist on changing the subject, martin takes that as his cue to tell you about the many amazing creature powers of the worm and how there's no shame in being one! trust him, he's seen how they are first-hand!

Chris Kratt

"a worm?" he laughs. "why would you be a worm?"

━ skeptical, but plays along. though, he does puts a little too much thought into it. like obviously he loves you, so there's no change in his feelings if you were to suddenly turn all wormy, but the actual aspect of you being a worm does make the gears in his head turn.

━ realistically speaking, he would want for you to be happy, and maybe traveling around the world in a container wouldn't be the happiest way for a worm to live. so? he wholeheartedly tells you that he'll put you in a secure habitat with your own little worm friends. living free and in the wild!

— so caught up in the euphoria of him wanting what's best for you that for like a minute you lived in a world where he didn't just say he'd let you go.

Aviva Corcovado

hums, "are we talking hypothetically or...?"

━ immediately thinks about how you'd look as a worm and gets a huge kick out of it. she apologizes, but she just can't help it! the imagery is a wild one for sure.

━ would honestly prefer you to be kept as a human. what if she were to accidentally knock you over or step on you? what if she lost you? what if you were to fall out the tortuga when up in the air?! nonno, being a worm is simply not an option!

━ confidently assures you that she'd do whatever it takes to revert you back to your human state, biology be damned! and not a sliver of doubt. if anyone could figure it out, you know it's her.

Koki

".... yeah... of course...?"

━ you know damn well she's lying.

━ she mulled over it a bit, that's clear, but the instant grimace that came after was enough to make you cackle. she knows you saw it, so it takes everything in her to smile the most natural looking grin she could muster. knowing her, she's terrible at masking her honest feelings.

━ comes clean and admits that she loves you a lot, but having a lover as a worm would gross her out. i mean, how would she kiss you? you'll be all slimy!! point out how she literally imagined kissing a worm and she'll just gag as she tries to run away from you. no way is she doing this today!

Jimmy Z

"if you were a what—? a WORM?!"

━ confusion. and. shock. now where'd this come from? this has to be some sort of trick question!

━ frets more about the reasons WHY you would even be turned into a worm in the first place. a science experiment gone wrong? ZACK?! you're not trying to tell him something, are you?

━ ultimately tells you that, yes! of course he would! he'd keep you all snug in his pocket and feed you tiny meals from the larger meals he'd be making for the rest gang. will include you in everything he does! ...now who's gonna tell him that it'd be much more complicated than he thinks it'd be?

[pancake-breakfast]

Finishing up Trigun volume twoooooo

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 2, Chapters 7-8 below.

Chapter 7: Demon's Eye

Look at this sassy pose. This man is not straight.

I just wanna note that, even without Monev or E.G. AND counting Legato as one of the Gung-Ho Guns, this spread does NOT bring their number up to 12. Or even 11.

Midvalley sure is smiley....

Dude. Legato's messing with people's brains in a whole different way now, apparently. I mean, he sticks out in a crowd, so it's particularly weird that they don't remember him. Come to think of it, how did that little street girl notice him if others didn't? Did he just... let her to make his point?

LOL, WW offering to give Legato a message for Vash....

They've only known each other for a bit, and already they're standing back to back.

Bye, Mr. Bondage Cross! I'm sure you, someone who featured on the cover of the volume, will not show up in any sort of meaningful way again in this entire series.

Vash seems suspicious.

Does... he smell Legato? I want to think he can smell Legato. I'm sure he's smelling, like, the big pile of rotting corpses... but it's funnier if he can smell Legato.

No one wants to talk about the terrifying man in a white coat.

It's... noteworthy that Vash has only described Legato by his clothes and not by his clearly strange-colored hair. He did the same when describing Legato to WW on the bus.

Yup, there's the blood he was smelling. These long shots with Vash in the foreground and devastation in the background....

Sudden lady!

Hello, Dominique! Glad you could join us! Now, if you'd please take a seat over there....

Nice of her to provide some context for the blood. I doubt Vash will be super-pleased, but it's still better than the alternative.

Yyyyyup. Vash is still Vash.

Dude. Vash. Rude.

Oh, she does have the same kind of coin as Monev.

Vash is gonna have a hard time of it here.... Story of Trigun....

Oof, no one wants to go on a full-out pilgrimage every time they go to church. Too many stairs.

Heh! That window looks like....

CROSS TO THE GUT

WW is correct. They are being quite rude with this welcome here.

LOL, Vash pussy shot.

"That wasn't humanly possible." Well, then, we need to consider other options, don't we?

Ok, I flipped back through the panels just to be sure, but... like, how in the HECK were we supposed to tell she's teleporting when she opens her mechanical eye??

Even if they miss, having a gun go off that close to your face seems unsafe....

I appreciate the level of detail that leaves the snaps he's missing off.

When your opponent is acting so weird you're momentarily caught off-guard and forget you're supposed to be killing him.

I forgot until just now that Vash is still running around sans one (1) arm.

Chapter 8: Fifth Moon

CW: Sexual abuse/assault reference/imagery

Shit, I recognize that title and I don't like it.

I figured they were leftover slavers because of their freaking leg poofs.

Heh. "Late Arrivals." I WONDER WHAT HE MEANS BY THAT.

Oh, good. They cleared it up pretty quick.

They keep calling the thing on Legato's right shoulder a torture device, but the only use I can think of for it is stabbing himself in the face when he moves wrong.

Stampede seems to have forgone the name "Chapel" for perhaps a more apt name. I wonder if "it "Chapel" will show up in Season 2?

Dude. Dominique. Overreaction.

Wait, did Vash just pass out?

No. No. Doctor bad. No doctor. Please send back. Surround the place with apples as a warding circle.

Who's this tall lady??

WW already having a crisis of conscience? Good good.

That's the real struggle, isn't it, Wolfy. VERY interested to see how Stampede handles this.

And I thought normal pregnancy was gross. Plants are on a whole other level.

Scary Vash is scary.

I'm sorry, I'm laughing so hard at Legato crying over Knives' rebirth. I know I shouldn't. This man's obsession just amuses the hell out of me sometimes.

Long-haired Knives! Long-haired Knives!

NM, Legato. I apologize for laughing. Long-haired Knives really is that beautiful.

If only the stomach stretch retreated that fast. Or... dissolved into a bunch of feathers shojo style. I'd take that, too. And I haven't even been pregnant.

We have no real idea where Vash is relative to Knives (aside from "in the same city"), and Vash is still screaming at him.

First glimpse of Vash's slutty windowed top.

Vash isn't wrong. AND he deserves to be slapped. Meryl is also right. Neither of them are listening. This happens a lot when everyone is shouting.

LOL, she hurt her hand on Vash's hard head.

Heheheheheh, Meryl has a cruuuuuuush....

It's interesting how, for once, as Vash goes forward with full intention of embracing his status as the Humanoid Typhoon, he's not wearing his iconic coat.

Iconic Vash back shot. I don't know why, in all the times I've seen it posted, I never thought to look at the color of his hair. I always assumed this shot was from Maximum. Even though I'm sure I read this volume back in the day. I just remember NOTHING from it.

Legato sure looks happy to see him. And heyyyyyy, someone in the background there has a big-ass cross....

Legato's getting a hell of a head-pat here....

ROFL, no one appreciates how much work it is to be a yandere. Knives shows up and he's like, "Screw you, Entire Con-Based Questline. And you, the quest-giver, in particular."

Ugh, I love love love this.

Knives really gets incredulous about Vash trying to shoot him. Also, My man needs to find himself some pants.

Legato looks kind of like a crushed spider here. He looks like he's still conscious, too, so I'm sure that's fun for him.

Of all the versions of Trigun, this version definitely has WW being the MOST clueless about the nature of Vash and Knives. Not in a "that's beyond me and I don't wanna know" way. In a "WTF did I get myself into, I don't think this is what I signed up for" sort of way.

Ugh, this interchange. It says SO MUCH about their relationship....

In the story up to this point, Knives has been built up to be this terrible, terrifying bad guy. But now that he's here, his primary concern seems to be Vash's well-being. Aside from his incredulous face when shouting at Vash for pointing a gun at him (again), his expression throughout this whole scene while he's focusing on Vash has been so soft.

Oop, all softness gone.

Something something body horror. Could you imagine having your whole being shift against your will at the touch of another person? If so, I'm sorry, 'cause the only things I can think of that do that are... trauma.

I do want to note that, should this come up in Stampede, they've set it up much better there. The very first time Knives and Vash have an encounter there, Knives touches him, and... it's not this bad, but it absolutely has an effect that Vash seems helpless to resist.

Something something rape imagery.

Heh, they're trying to save Legato.

All these folks were gathered here to supposedly help and protect Knives, and Knives is about to repeat the July incident even though everyone else around them would likely die.

Dude. Knives. You clearly don't give a shit how it feels to Vash. Ash Lynx had a whole speech about this kind of behavior in Banana Fish, and let me tell you, it did NOT conclude with people who behave like this harboring anything resembling love for their victims.

Dude. Vash, no!

Yes, he would.

Oh, babygirl Vash.... That's not the case.... Rem would tell you the same if you told her that.

WW looks... concerned.

Yeah, now they all have a constant reminder of what Vash the Stampede is. All they have to do is look up.

I really wonder how this will go down in Stampede given that they wrapped the aftermath, in particular, into the initial arc. Having Vash disappear for an additional two years seems unlikely.

Heh. The coat. Good luck, Coat.

Author Bonus Chapter: Welcome to the Future

It's funny to think of someone saying Nightow has no inner fire when one has a feel for the themes of Trigun. Just because someone isn't in your face about it doesn't mean they don't burn.

Tea heals so many woes....

Isn't this the story of any creative....

Dude, that's not a fortune. That's just life. In the internet age, you don't even have to leave your house to meet interesting people. May it indeed be fun.

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #48: “Handsome” | April 19, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E08

Morning Meditations bookends this weird episode of this weird show. In it, a strange man removes some of his clothes and then does animal stuff. They cut back to it at the very end for some reason. Very weird choice to call back the worst recurring sketch ya got. Great Job. 

This one also has a trippy drug-using theme to it; at least in the opening theme and closing credits. The normal visuals are augmented to include a trippy pulsating rainbow filter and extra imagery of weed and peace signs and buzzwords like TRANCE, WTF, etc. That is because this is the episode that aired right before April 20th, or “Smoking Some Weed Day”. It’s a fun idea, but they don’t go as all out as one would hope. I can imagine a higher effort version of this existing and it makes me a LITTLE SAD. 

I remember liking this one, but it’s a fairly mixed bag. Some of it works for me, which is all you can ask for in a sketch comedy program. Among the duds is a bunch of dads singing “It’s a perfect dad day”. This one’s pretty typical Tim & Eric style humor, all being about dads and whatnot. This one isn’t too good. Certain jokes, like putting gay guy pornography in one of the dads’ hands, seems like low-hanging fruit. Unless that dad was like “Tim, Eric, as a gay man I please request you represent my preferences accurately”. If that's the case, then they were being nice. Also the dads they got for this are dog shit. You got four freaking dads in this thing and you couldn't even ask MY dad to be in it??

The main standalone sketch in this is the Cinco Facetime Party Snoozer, a mask (and stand-up brace) that gives one the impression that you are awake and attentive during a social function, when really you're secretly asleep. It also has Bob Odenkirk soundbites saying affirmative phrases. This one’s pretty good, and pretty memorable. I don’t know if it’s as good as other Cinco products, though. It’s still the sketch of the episode. I promise I’m not being icy about this one just because I was once roasted by a group of friends for mistaking the actor in this for being my friend from school.

Okay, so this one actually is mostly focused on Tim & Eric’s petty battle over who is the more handsome man, and is fairly substantial. Tim & Eric do their detached acting style here for the most part, but it’s a far less grating example than some other episodes this season. This one has some memorable moments, like when Tim and Eric each play a campaign video of sorts to a panel of judges (including the much-missed Richard Dunn). Eric’s video is him dressed like Brett Gelman going “OH YEAH” while strange-looking women with huge, presumably fake, boobs appear around him. The imagery in this one makes me laugh. A little!

Tim’s video is shot like a Playboy Playmate video profile, and makes fun use of Tim’s disgusting body. Tim really goes for it, and this is a fairly fearless performance. I respect it! I remember laughing at this one more the first time I saw it way back when. It had diminishing returns this time, but I still liked this bit.

The end is that the panel of judges are deadlocked, and Richard Dunn demands that the boys give him a french kiss to determine the winner. “Come and french me, boys” says Dunn, while waggling his tongue around. It’s sorta shocking to see him be so outwardly gross, since Dunn’s whole appeal was just being slightly befuddled. Again, this is a moment I remember laughing at the first time around and it did a little less for me this time. I suppose I simply don’t feel too strong about it either way, and can see the argument for this being a little tasteless. And what's worse is that you don't actually get to see them kiss.

Dunn looks MUCH older in this appearance than he ever has before, which is basically just how aging works. But, Dunn’s lack of participation might be from the realization that he probably needed his rest.

Before the season started, my friends and I called him on Skype, half expecting him to not pick up. He did, just as my friend was saying something about him being old. Dunn gladly picked up and greeted us, causing my one friend to run away from his microphone. Me and another friend just chatted him up. We admitted that we didn’t think he was going to pick up, and gave him some nice compliments and sent him on his way. He seemed jazzed to have fans. He mentioned that he’d be in this season, and it looks like in retrospect this was mostly it. Maybe we should’ve gotten a content warning. 

Again, this isn’t the last we see of Dunn, but since I burned my one-and-Dunn anecdote about the man, I’ll link to this, his tribute from the season 5 DVD, which is mostly clips: 

MAIL BAG

From breadharrity

My biggest memory of this episode is showing this to some girl in college trying to impress her because i guess she had "stoner vibes" (i remember it was this one because of the 420 friendly intro) but was in sober housing. She later showed me The Last Unicorn which was pretty cool and also 420 friendly.

Let this be a lesson to the weed smokers: Tim & Eric rocks and so does Unicorn: The Movie, and both will get you laid

[mariana-oconnor]

Wisteria Lodge pt 2

Right, so thinking about it since last time I came up with some other reasons, like maybe Mr Garcia was scared of something coming for him and that was why he asked Mr Scott Eccles over for a few nights. Or alternatively, it was a pure coincidence that he asked him over and then someone from his past turned up and threatened him. But why did the whole household disappear overnight. They must have some connection.

Anyway, now I am free for the evening, onto the actual reading. When last we left off, Mr Scott Eccles had woken up after utterly missing his chance at a booty call to find himself abandoned and needing to do the walk of shame.

"I called at Allan Brothers', the chief land agents in the village, and found that it was from this firm that the villa had been rented."

This seems pretty extreme, although I guess what has happened is quite extreme. And if it had happened to me, I'd be all over the internet trying to work out what had happened to everyone. I'd probably at least think of asking the next door neighbours if they knew what was going on. It's different in a time with servants and stuff, though. You'd expect the servants to still be there, even if the owner has gone out or to work or whatever. Still 'no one was in when I woke up so I went to the estate agent...

He does then go to the mutual friend who introduced them - and also the Spanish embassy - which again, seems a bit like overkill. I don't think I'd go to the Spanish embassy, not if I still had all my stuff. If it seemed weird and suspicious enough I might report them to the police as missing, but then maybe they have a good reason. idk.

"My only desire is to help the law in every possible way.” “I am sure of it, Mr. Scott Eccles—I am sure of it,” said Inspector Gregson in a very amiable tone.

Is that amiable as in appeasing, or amiable as in believing? I'm not sure I'd believe all of that, although it does fall into the realm of too weird and unhelpful a story to be faked. If you're going to invent a story about how you're not a murderer when you really are, you want it to sound more plausible.

“What do you say to that, Mr. Baynes?” The country detective was a stout, puffy, red man, whose face was only redeemed from grossness by two extraordinarily bright eyes, almost hidden behind the heavy creases of cheek and brow. With a slow smile he drew a folded and discoloured scrap of paper from his pocket.

Ah, Watson, you're back in fine form with your descriptions of police officers, no animal imagery here, but at least you managed to convey your utter disgust at his appearance. Bravo.

"The note is written upon ordinary cream-laid paper without watermark. It is a quarter-sheet. The paper is cut off in two snips with a short-bladed scissors. It has been folded over three times and sealed with purple wax, put on hurriedly and pressed down with some flat oval object. It is addressed to Mr. Garcia, Wisteria Lodge. It says: “Our own colours, green and white. Green open, white shut. Main stair, first corridor, seventh right, green baize. Godspeed. — D.

What a very specific and detailed description of the note. Purple wax is particularly extra of them, I have to say. And not in keeping with the colour scheme.

I have a feeling that the green and white are going to be associated with something I have no knowledge of, a badge or flag of some Spanish political movement or other. I also feel like the mixed race cook is going to be important in some way, but I don't know enough about the politics of Spain and its colonial empire at the end of the 19th century to make any guesses.

Green baize is a snooker/billiards table, though, usually. The open and shut might be shutters painted in different colours as some sort of signal to people outside (or an indication of the house Garcia is supposed to go to, but there would have to have been previous instructions in that case, because otherwise it could be any house in the country.)

These are clearly directions and instructions. I kind of want Aloysius Garcia to be an assassin now, and these are indications of where he can find his next hit. But why they would specify a snooker table, I don't know. Although there were probably card tables lined with green baize as well. It is the fabric, rather than the table itself.

But clearly he was killed either because of following these instructions or before he could follow them.

“I'm bound to say that I make nothing of the note except that there was something on hand, and that a woman, as usual, was at the bottom of it.”

Once again, we have feminine handwriting. And, as a woman, I don't know whether to be amused, proud, or insulted that apparently we're at the bottom of everything. All three, I suppose.

“As to Garcia,” said Gregson, “that is easily answered. He was found dead this morning upon Oxshott Common, nearly a mile from his home. His head had been smashed to pulp by heavy blows of a sandbag or some such instrument, which had crushed rather than wounded."

If his head has been bashed in that badly, how sure are you that it's Mr Garcia at all? Who identified the body? I mean, if you were an assassin bumping people off, it would be terribly convenient if people just happened to mistake the body of your victim for you. Terribly convenient.

"...but his assailant had gone on beating him long after he was dead. It was a most furious assault."

Either a crime committed with absolute rage and no forethought or the complete opposite where the beating continued specifically until the body was unrecognisable.

“This is very painful—very painful and terrible,” said Mr. Scott Eccles in a querulous voice, “but it is really uncommonly hard on me. I had nothing to do with my host going off upon a nocturnal excursion and meeting so sad an end. How do I come to be mixed up with the case?”

Sir? Sir? Excuse me. A man is dead, sir.

Wow... Yeah, this is very hard for you. So very hard for you. I'm glad you didn't get laid last night, Mr Scott Eccles. You did not deserve it. Even if Mr Garcia is secretly an assassin for a group of Spanish revolutionaries, you did not deserve the hot assassin sex. Nope. 'How do you come to be mixed up in the case?' Maybe because you were sleeping in his house and were one of the last people to see him alive? (If he's dead. Not convinced on that point.

“The only document found in the pocket of the deceased was a letter from you saying that you would be with him on the night of his death. It was the envelope of this letter which gave us the dead man's name and address."

Yep, they got his ID from a letter in his pocket. Got to love policing before the days of DNA and fingerprinting. A+ identification methodology right there. No way that could be anyone but Aloysius Garcia.

Also, I am amused by the idea that someone deliberately set up Mr Scott Eccles for this. It's not nice, no, but eh the guy's a bit of a pompous racist asshole, and I doubt he's actually going to be charged with anything. They identified a man from a letter in his pocket after all, clearly they will believe anything.

“He had been there since one o'clock. There was rain about that time, and his death had certainly been before the rain.” “But that is perfectly impossible, Mr. Baynes,” cried our client. “His voice is unmistakable. I could swear to it that it was he who addressed me in my bedroom at that very hour.”

And there's the random one am booty call coming into play. Of course we have no evidence it was one am other than the reported word of the possibly late Mr Aloysius Garcia himself. Making Mr Scott Eccles' role in all of this that of impossible alibi to a dead man.

And is his voice really unmistakeable, or does he just have a Spanish accent? If three men with Spanish accents spoke to you in the dark would you be able to pick out Mr Garcia? I don't trust you to be able to do that.

“There were,” said he, “one or two very remarkable things. Perhaps when I have finished at the police-station you would care to come out and give me your opinion of them.”

I am irritated now because I want to know what these things are, but at the same time I am very impressed with Mr Baynes for not doing the thing I always yell at fictional detectives for doing and revealing key evidence in front of suspects. So... Fine. You win this one. I will be patient.

“I can make nothing of this mystification of Scott Eccles.”

Mystification is an excellent word. If this were a modern novel that would be the title: The Mystification of Scott Eccles.

"There is, on the face of it, something unnatural about this strange and sudden friendship between the young Spaniard and Scott Eccles."

Homophobic!

I know Mr Scott Eccles is kind of a dud, but everyone is someone's type. You can't just assume that because Mr Garcia was hot and young he wouldn't be into that.

Although, yeah, it probably was Victorian Catfish. Which leaves me in two minds. On one hand - hot Spanish assassin... undeniably cool. On the other hand - preying on the closeted gays... not cool. Even if Mr Scott Eccles is a Tory. You can't just have different rules for Tories, as much as you may want them.

"He called upon Eccles at the other end of London on the very day after he first met him, and he kept in close touch with him until he got him down to Esher. Now, what did he want with Eccles? What could Eccles supply?"

"I see no charm in the man. He is not particulary intelligent—not a man likely to be congenial to a quick-witted Latin."

So stereotypical. I've said it before - you can't know what a person's type is just by looking at them. And let's not kinkshame Mr Garcia for what he was into.

"He is the very type of conventional British respectability, and the very man as a witness to impress another Briton. You saw yourself how neither of the inspectors dreamed of questioning his statement, extraordinary as it was.”

Honestly, I wasn't going to question it either, but mostly because of narrative reasons and because the guy just seems too boring to be able to come up with anything halfway as interesting on his own. But I don't think I'd take anything that came out of his mouth as true. Honest, maybe, but factually accurate? Definitely seems the kind of guy to quote opinion as fact.

“Well, my dear fellow, we have already arrived at the conclusion that the massage received by Garcia at dinner was an appointment or an assignation."

I know 'massage' is a typo, but it fits in so well with everything else, that I must point it out.

"As the number of large houses close to Oxshott must be limited, I adopted the obvious method of sending to the agents mentioned by Scott Eccles and obtaining a list of them."

I was so distracted by the illicit romance of it all, that I didn't even think about the size of the house. Seven doors along a corridor is a big house, and if it does have a billiards table, then that's a sign of a big house as well.

Of course, Garcia would still have needed to know where he was going. There are six people in Holmes' list.

I kind of hope it's Ffolliott, just because of the three double letters in his name. But The Dingle and Purdley Place are excellent names, too. As is Nether Walsling. And I didn't even notice that Mr Hynes Hynes is called Mr Hynes Hynes... is that another typo or is he just so good they named him twice? And a Justice of the Peace (or at least I assume that's what JP stands for). Yeah, I take it back. I want it to be Mr Hynes Hynes. And is he the body that was found or is it actually Mr Garcia?

None of the names seems Spanish in origin, but we've already established that the writer of the note was English. Do any of the titles seem like they might be involved in some sort of Spanish political intrigue? The Lord perhaps? He'd be in the House of Lords, so politically involved in the UK. The Justice of the Peace could definitely be involved in something, but probably not internationally. I doubt the reverend is involved in politics, but there's always a chance of someone having turned to the church for redemption after a life of crime. Though Spain is a Catholic country in the main part, especially at this time, afaik, so it would be unusual for someone of that background to turn CofE. Not impossible, but unusual.

Maybe Spain has nothing to do with any of it, though. The colours definitely seemed like a hint towards something, though and political affiliation was the only thing my mind could come up with. If it's just the colours of the shutters in the house then why 'our own colours'? Also, if someone can open and close the shutters of a house, that means an inside person.

"...a fit setting for the wild common over which our road passed and the tragic goal to which it led us."

Is that the tragedy that has already occurred, or is there more tragedy yet to come? Watson?

Also, what was that extra evidence, Mr Baynes? Very rude leaving us hanging like that.

Holmes is of course, right. I am theorising without enough data. I need to put the Spanish thing and any ideas of political motivation aside. While I doubt it's going to be as simple as a clandestine affair, it probably won't be a secret revolutionary group enacting assassinations on foreign ground in order to foment rebellion. Although such things aren't entirely without precedence in the Holmes canon.

And it's entirely possible that we're supposed to accept at face value that the dead guy actually is Aloysius Garcia even if his face was beaten to a pulp and their only evidence of his identity is a letter in his pocket. I know that's been used as a form of identification before and been accurate, and it annoyed me then, too.

Getting away with murder would have been so easy in Victorian times. Just make sure the body is unrecognisable and leave a note on it with your own name and address before disappearing into the night. No one would even think to look for you again.

[theanimeawarenessproject]

Rating: Yellow Orange

Warning: this review is only comprised of **season one.** That is the first 13 episodes only!

*Natsume's Book of Friends / Natsume Yūjin-chō / Natsume Yuujinchou / 夏目友人帳 -* This beautiful anime full of love and sadness alike will take you on a hell of a fun ride and make you bawl your eyes out for characters you've just met. I went into this knowing absolutely nothing and came out with a new addition to my personal loved anime list, and I hope anyone else who checks it out loves it too!

Genres : Slice of Life, Supernatural, Mythology, Iyashikei

Type : TV Show

Ran From : a Summer release of July 8th 2008, to September 30th 2008.

Length : 13 episodes consisting of a standard 24 minutes per episode.

Intro/Outro: Lizard crawling on someone's face (they're okay with this), some very mild fast moving imagery. Outro completely safe.

Trigger Warnings : child being chased by monsters (yōkai), child neglect and abuse (not often shown, but brought up), treating children as though they're burdens foe being different, extremely wide eyes, minor explosions, closeups on eyes, dead parents, body horror (non-gore), falls from medium to large heights, fainting, child running away from home, young children finding comfort in adult strangers, live fish out of water being shown, mentions of possession, being possessed, very very small amounts of blood, alcoholism being shown in a joking way, cats being fed really shit food, fishing, themes of being trapped into servitude (main character does not use this, but a later character does seem to. The ones working for him seem to be willing, but I can't know that for sure.)

Episode specific triggers:

E1 opens with a chase scene with some shaky cam and heavy blur. Shaky cam isn't used often in this show but it does happen. Damage to shrine grounds.

E2 a character is breifly crushed under the full weight of a larger characters body under their foot. Someone has a sallow face and hollow eyes.

E3 live frog held in an animals mouth (it is unharmed), frog bouncing on someone's face.

The cat makes an incredibly tasteless joke about sexual harassment in this episode. Skip from 9:53 to 10:03 to avoid it. You lose nothing by doing so.

E4 closeups on cicadas, Being watched without knowledge, falling down stairs, trapped in a school

The cat makes an offhanded comment that's pretty gross, this time about slavery. It happens at 10:25 - 10:28.

E6 cicada closeups

E7 themes of parental death, adults beating a child with thick paper, child crying

E8 falling off a cliff

E9 very angry dogs face, scared dog noises, fan girls, imagery of a rope tied around someone's neck, being completely trapped and wrapped up in paper, a character is stabbed in the eye with a stick

E10 cut limbs, very small amounts of blood, falling off a cliff, possession

E11 very young child in a life threatening situation, blurry shaky cam, falling down a cliff, trapped in a hole, visibly and audibly nearly vomiting, feeding a cat chocolate, child crying, fear of replacement, alcohol abuse

12 frog stuck in a spider web, imagery and audio of a humanoid being eaten/chewed whole, electrocution (character is fine, slightly burnt and steaming cartoon style) high pitched bell ringing, potential implied groping? Child visibly sick (emeto safe)

13 reckless crossing of a road, tying up an animal, attempting to hit a fox with a broom, fireworks, festival episode

[mushroomjar]

not really halloween-related anymore but i managed to track down the other song that was included in the vocahorror poast i mentioned. it was What Can We Do by daijoubuP although it seems to be far more disturbing / gross / unsanitary / trippy (and containing flashing animations) than being like actually horror :/ BUT it's there if you ever feel like attaining more obscure cursed knowledge lol. it's actually so fascinating to me how there's so many ways to use vocal synths than just popularesque music. i want to study some of these producers like bugs

I looked up the song and actually, I love it, I think I might add it to the playlist (might... we'll see). I found a video with Spanish subtitles for it and in the description it included a fun fact about how the worms shown in a section of the MV were raised by daijoubuP and his wife specifically for the video (maybe it was worth it, according to this description, the original video has 1.5 million views? I don't use niconico or piapro (if the og video's there) so I won't fact-check but I found that cool)

I found out about daijoubuP a couple weeks ago actually while searching for songs about cannibalism (obviously) on vocadb and finding one called "Daijoobu!!" It's supposedly a collab between cannabanoid and daijoubuP, and the whole song is about Miku telling daijoubuP she loves him, and at the end he says "Thanks, Miku, I love you too", it also has disturbing sounds/imagery but I find it pretty funny? These are the only two songs I know from this guy but they give me the impression that he just likes to fuck around with his music, so hats off to him

This got a little rambly but thanks for the ask and the song suggestion, I had a lot of fun

[eldritch-spouse]

Hey friend! sorry if ill be ask spamming your blog but I recently fell in love with your universe and I feel like we were born under the same star. But wit that out of the way... here it goes

Some new strange phenomena have been sweeping the clergy

The Admin is popular with regular clients! Some have even tried to request some personal services. Admin has had enough! She's also sick of trying to act kind while she refuses the clients.

She had an idea though! She could take advantage of her recent popularity and gain the Clergy an extra buck or two. With the help of Patches, the admin released a life-like chibi doll to sell to customers for a limited time only! The price might be a little high, but plenty of customers are still willing to buy. (Is this OOC? Maybe, but I had so much fun with the idea so roll with it please)

I also thought it would be funny if the plushie had a little butt when you removed her dress, like this. With the adorable stiched eye staring at them, the staff couldn't resist! But what exactly do the staff do with their admin doll? (descriptions and NSFW welcome)

[I wasn't born under a star, I'm pretty sure some forest fiend thing laid an egg on my mom's doorstep and she just rolled with it. :)) That's a cute interpretation of her btw.]

I like the idea of a little merch line being started, though it decidedly has to be a little OOC, because Krulu probably wouldn't agree with such childish depictions of his host. Symbolism and imagery are important to siadar, an offensive or disrespectful (even if unintentionally so) illustration can register as an attack.

Some of the staff would be normal about this, emphasis on would be, if the doll didn't somehow smell like you. How did Patches achieve this? Irrelevant, the bigger question is why the pervert thought that would be a good idea...

Morell is decidedly less creepy about it. He'd keep the doll in one of his pockets or his scarf, giving it a squeeze every now and then. You might catch him cooing to it on occasion. If anyone catches him doing this, the shroom will die of shame.

Gallon actually keeps the doll on one of the higher shelves of his bar, maybe the glass rack that hangs from the ceiling. That way, almost no one can reach it. He feels like you're watching over him while he works.

Patches feels mildly gross about it, but he'll hold the doll up to his face when he's trying to get off while thinking of you. It's just comforting, he can almost pretend you're around him, holding him maybe. Hey, at least the doll stays clean.

Vinnel is customizing it. That's his thing. He's going to make a little jester suit for it, and get a little nose, maybe paint her face. It'll be the cutest one by far. Of course, he'll show it to you in hopes that maybe you'd enjoy actually dressing that way.

Santi (I'm sorry, I can only think of this lmao.)

Grimbly would love it if there was a pinker version, but beggars can't be choosers, right? He's going to hold mini you to his chest when he comes home from long shifts, get in his plush nest and rant about how the day sucked and you should be dating him by now.

No one knows Nebul has one until they see him running after Purpur, who is constantly stealing Admin dolly away to play with. It's kept in an elegant glass case nowadays, spotless.

Belo loves it to pieces, it's probably full of his fur. He keeps it in his room and nuzzles it whenever he can. The angel once was depraved enough to jerk off over it, immediately washed it and didn't touch the doll for a week in total mortification.

Fank-e is not thwarted by the price. He can buy one and find a way to ship himself like 100 3D prints! Hah, checkmate bitch. His doll is covered in stickers and weird stains. It feels mildly radioactive.

Sybastian's poor doll is drooled to not end. It smells like you, so he can't help licking it, which in turn becomes a masturbatory motion because mimic tongues are highly sensitive. So, in the end, you're likely to see him jerking off with the plush in his mouth.

[natasha-in-space]

oh, do you like horror movies too? if so please recommend 🤲

Oh anon... You have no idea what you just started. Haha, but, in all honesty, I'm a huge horror nerd! I just mention it very occasionally and reblog some stuff here and there, but nothing extreme, as this is a mainly SFW blog. That said, I am more than giddy to babble about anything and everything! Horror movies especially! I'm gonna try and recommend some not so mainstream films that come to my mind right now.

If we're talking the more recent films, I'd say last year's 'When Evil Lurks' is a wonderful chilling movie to check out if you haven't yet. I'd say it's one of my favorite ones of 2023, actually! Now, it is pretty brutal and grisly when it comes to violence shown on screen. Nothing too extreme for your standart horror film that is not just a sensitized Hollywood flick, but I do feel the need to mention it. If you like possession, grim endings and questionable characters, this one's for you. I'd say it's a story of two brothers desperately fighting a losing battle.

If you like horror mockumentaries (fake documentary) type of flicks, I really enjoyed 'Butterfly Kisses'! If you loved the infamous Blair Witch films, you'll definitely appreciate this one. Not so much a gruesome horror film, but more of a psychological thriller for you to dissect, but I love it for that. If themes of obsession and artistic desperation are something that you can relate to, you might wanna considering checking it out. Nothing totally unique or mind blowing, but I still very enjoyed it.

If you can stomach grotesque and very gross imagery, I'd recommend you to check out 'Mad God'. Animated horror movies are rare, but, God, do I appreciate them when they do happen. It's clear that a lot of passion went into this one, and I can't help but admire all the creativity and hard work that went into it. It has very little dialogue, and most of its storytelling is an environmental one, but that's another thing I appreciate about it. I should note that it's an experimental piece of art, so it is not rich on some grand morale or story. It is, first and foremost, an intense and confusing journey to sit through.

And I am a huge sucker for Ari Aster's movies, so Hereditary, Midsommar and Beau is Afraid are definitely something I'd recommend to see if you haven't yet. The balance of visual, sound design and story is one I am always blown away with. I know some folks don't really enjoy his work, and that's okay. But I love movies you can revisit after your first watch and see them in a completely different light. That's not mentioning all the care he and his team put into the tiniest of details to his works. I have Hereditary and Midsommar soundtrack saved up for a reason, hehe.

Oh! I also have a major soft spot for 'Perfect Blue'. I feel like it's a pretty well-known film, but, if you haven't seen it yet, please do! It's another animated one, and it is mostly a psychological horror for you to experience. Perfect for you if you don't want to deal with the more gross and violent sides of horror genre that are, undeniably, pretty prominent. It does deal with themes of sexual violence, though. Please stay safe and consume your media wisely!