#so they distanced themselves from me and talked shit about me behind my back
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fruit-teeth · 1 year ago
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Sucks that I have a hard time befriending other queer ppl irl because the very first group of gay kids I was ever friends with ended up being super mean towards me. Like ohh some immature fuckers were mean towards me when I was fourteen so now literally a decade later I STILL have trust issues when it comes to befriending and fully trusting members of my own community??? What the fuck
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fulloffencekurooishotterthanyou · 10 months ago
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Grocery Shopping.
Ft. Suna Rintarƍ
Notes: NSFW minors dni, fingering, car sex, afab reader, fluff at beginning, swearing, pet names
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“rin,” you groan, as the crooked wheel of the trolley jams into the back of your heel for the millionth time. “drive the goddamn trolley straight, please.”
there’s a laugh. husky and low, belonging to the man you call your own.
“but, love,” he whines, that familiar drawl in his nonchalant tone as he pushes the trolley a little so you’re walking side by side. “it’s not my fault it’s wonky. you should take that up with someone who works here,”
you can’t help but roll your eyes at his teasing tone and instead decide to aim your focus at the apples that are cheaper than usual. the shine of the skin “a-peeling” as suna comments behind you.
you usually shop together, late at night like this when he doesn’t have training. it’s probably the only time when you’re not drowned in work or your boyfriend is building up his thighs like a god at the gym.
“doll, what else was on the list?” your lover’s voice is serious, as he stares at the aisle numbers in concentration. “why am i thinking of butter? did we even need butter?” your laugh resounds in his ear, as you explain it was bread, not butter. “ohhh, bread. gotcha. be back in a second.” he shoots you an award winning smile, before pushing the trolley to the bread aisle, almost looking too elated to be here with you at the supermarket.
“what’s gotten into him?” you mumble to yourself as you pick up other items on the mental list you made. when ten minutes have passed, and no rintarƍ has appeared for a suspicious amount of time, you walk down briskly, scanning each aisle.
“rin?” you call, scanning through every area, like a lookout team.
“darling, over here!” an excited voice rings out and you stop in your tracks, walking down the dangerously alluring sweets aisle.
“what are you doing?” you ask with a laugh, seeing wide and excited eyes gracing your boyfriend’s features.
“they have chĆ«pets in stock!” his hands can’t seem to move any faster, as he looks through the different flavours.
“i’ve never seen you more excited, truly,” you say teasingly, as he gives you a pointed look.
“i get excited about plenty of things, hun. i’ve got no idea what you’re saying,”
“yeah? and how much are you willing to bet chĆ«pets are better than sex?” you dare ask, wondering what his reply will be. there’s a beat of silence.
“fuck. that’s a hard question.” he replies, his face grim with indecisiveness. you laugh, playfully hitting his arm.
“you actually have to think about it?” i ask, as he places three packets of chĆ«pets into the trolley. the two of you head to the self check out, scanning your items.
“i mean, both are good. very good,”
“but this is sex i’m talking about. you really believe jelly fruit sticks compare?” your banter is comfortable and flirtatious, as rintarƍ pushes the trolley to your car. as he unloads the bags, he hums in thought.
“chĆ«pets are gifts from the gods themselves, love. i can’t argue with fact,” his voice clearly pokes fun at you, as he shuts the boot door with a firm hand.
“i’d argue they’re not as satisfying as a good blow job,”
“what? ‘cause of the same sucking motion?” he says, a mischievous glint in his eye.
“suna rintarƍ!” you cry out, giving him a look of pure unadulterated shock. “you did not just say that!”
he shrugs, but the grin on his face is practically devilish. “did i?” he puts the trolley away with a satisfied look plastered over his features. “why? are you going to prove me wrong, angel?” at this, his voice is lower now; richly suave and so thick with desire, you might as well be bathing in honey.
“you’re a tease. a fucking tease, you know that?”
“mmm, i did, actually.” a gentle hand grasps your hip, as he pulls you in, closing all distance between you.
“we’re in the middle of a car park, rintarƍ,” you remind him, your lips severely close to his. shit, you want to kiss him so badly.
“it’s almost midnight, doll. nobody’s around to see us,” his lips graze yours, but only for a second. “besides, we gotta test that bet of ours,”
another kiss breaks the surface fleetingly, before you’re dragged into the back seats of the car, the door shutting firmly behind you.
“rin, it’s not more than a fifteen minute drive hom-” you don’t get to finish your sentence as you’re pulled under your boyfriend, his lips crashing against yours.
it takes you a minute to regain your breathing, only to lose it again, his hands in your hair, yours around his neck as he craves for more.
“i want you, darling. right here, right now.”
and you’d be a complete fool to deny him that.
“then take me,” you whisper into his mouth before you’re kissing again, his tongue finding his way into your mouth as his touches grow rougher.
“fuck.” he groans, peppering your neck with kisses as his hands trail down to the buttons of your pants. “let me taste you,” he pleads, untying the string of his sweats. “can i have you, baby? please?”
“yes,” you breathe, watching as his pants and boxers are discarded carelessly, his hands coming back to cup your cheeks. “you can have me, rin,”
he groans, a guttural sound as he lifts your legs over his shoulders in one fluid motion, kissing your inner thighs. “big claim to make, angel. i’m gonna make you feel so fucking good,”
his mouth seems to second that statement, as you whimper from the touch of his lips near your entrance. his tongue comes next, a sword against your shield, digging his way through to you with a muffled moan. “you taste so good, doll. always taste so good for me, don’t you?”
“fuck, rin!” you cry out, as a pale, slim finger penetrates your folds. “oh god, oh fuck-” you choke out, babbling mindlessly as his fingers are practically sucked in and out of your hole.
“not even the real thing yet, baby. already so responsive,” he hums, thrusting another finger inside. your moans only compel him to insert another, his movements gradually getting faster and rougher.
“i want you, rin,” you plead. “just give it to me already. stop teasing me,”
“sweetheart, i haven’t done anything of the kind,” he smiles, pulling out his wet fingers, licking them as he watches you. “but since you’re so insistent sex is better than my beloved chĆ«pets, i guess i’ll give you what you want,”
a ragged gasp of air comes out of you as the tip starts to slowly sink in.
“ahh- rin, shit, you’re so- fuck! you’re big,” you ramble, thoughts simply unable to pass through you. rintarƍ continues his pursuit, delving in deeper, as he thrusts against your walls in an effort to derail you from coherency.
when he bottoms out, your cries are strangled as crescent moons crease his t-shirt, your grip on him, unrelenting.
“fuck, hun, you’re tight,” he hisses, his base reaching your skin as he begins to move, hard and fast. rintarƍ’s hips rock into yours, the wild bucking sensation almost too much as you moan wantonly.
“t-the car is shaking-” you manage to choke out, but it’s like your boyfriend doesn’t hear you, his relentless pursuit of breaking down your walls his only mission.
his cock fills you up so deeply, you can barely move as your pleas for more only seem to invigorate him to pound you harder.
each thrust is like a message, one that tells you that there’s no place either of you would rather be, but with each other. rintarƍ’s cock remains hard and swollen inside of you, his desperate grunts filling the car.
“release for me, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his tone the personification of velvet. “show me how good i make you feel,” each touch sends you ablaze, your whimpers music to rintarƍ’s ears as his skin dances over yours.
“r-rin!” you all but scream, the pleasure blinding as his cock slams into your walls, a sign of love as you moan. “i’m gonna
 fucking hell, i’m gonna cum,”
“that it’s, darling. cum all over this fat dick for me, yeah?” rintarƍ smiles as his hard member urges to release. but he waits. suna rintarƍ can be patient when he wants to.
“close, ‘m close!” you sob, hips held in place by suna’s firm grip. “rin- hnngh~ rintarƍ!”
there’s a low chuckle from your boyfriend as he hits your g-spot more consistently. “go on. let it all out for me, doll. you know i’m good for it,”
you swear loudly, your voice shaky as you announce your climax again. the coil in your stomach tightens, and then releases all at once. “i’m cumming!” you groan, thighs trembling as rintarƍ pants from the overexertion.
“fuck, that feels so good. your cum feels so warm on my cock.” he whispers, the words so vulgar it makes you moan a little more. “wait, wait. quiet down for me,” he requests, and you bite your lip to hold your silence.
“you hear that, hun?” suna asks, his cum-soaked cock rubbing against your walls. the motion produces a series of audibly lewd noises, the squelch making you tense up on him, all over again.
you can’t handle it anymore, writhing with pleasure as your lover pulls out, his cock covered with your fluids. “where should i cum, baby? tell me where i should, we wouldn’t want it to go to waste.” his tone is sly, like he wanted this all along. you can barely answer as his seed squirts all over your bare stomach, as he kisses you deeply. you press your lips back hungrily, tongues finding their way to meet each other’s as your shared moans echo in the backseats.
“better than sex?” you choke out now, your back limp against the car seat as you both pant heavily. there is a moment of quiet, aside from the jagged breathing before suna quips.
“yeah, maybe,” your boyfriends winks. “i’m playing with you, doll. sex is always better,”
“i fucking told you so,” you groan as he laughs, the sound resonating in your ear as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind it.
“let’s go home. i’m not finished with you yet.” suna says with a cheeky smile.
“i didn’t think you’d be,” you say sarcastically as he sits you up, cleaning the sticky mess with a tissue.
“what can i say, love? i’m a man with very specific needs,”
you can’t help but laugh. “is that right?”
“only the facts,” he replies, meeting his lips with yours for another kiss. “i love you, darling.”
“i love you too, rin.”
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first full smut fic ‌ i hope this isn’t just a bunch of tomfoolery đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«
banner credits: @cafekitsune <3
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worldlxvlys · 9 months ago
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my eyes only (part 6)
chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: cursing
a/n: hope you enjoy <33
previous part
CHRIS’S POV
what the hell am i doing ?
i just climbed out of her window like a teenage boy.
i needed to get out of there. all i could think about since she went to talk to charlie was what she said, “he’s convinced that you’re in love with me.”
the words themselves aren’t what freaked me out, so much as the fact that they were true.
of course they were true, who wouldn’t fall in love with her?
i loved her so much that it scared me. i was so dependent on her, i don’t know what i’d do without her.
i’ve known that i had feelings for her for a while, and i was even set to confess them to her right before her and charlie got together.
the words were on the tip of my tongue, but i chickened out at the last minute.
because at the end of the day, i’d rather be her friend and in pain than completely lose her.
i refuse to lose her. i have not gone through years of pining for her just to fuck it up now.
and, i will admit, fucking her and sneaking out of the window ? not my best move.
but i panicked in the moment, and resorted to what i do best, running from my problems.
it was too late to go back once i snuck out, but i was going to do everything in my power to fix it.
hence, the reason i was trudging through the rain towards the local plaza that was the perfect walking distance from her house.
i’m not fucking up this time.
READER’S POV
it had been an hour since chris left. i had no way to contact him, because he managed to forget his phone in my room.
him not having any way to communicate with anyone worried me, as he had no way to ask anyone for a ride home.
i had decided i was going to drive around and see if i could find him, just to make sure he was safe.
i grabbed my phone and his, along with my car keys and stepped out into the pouring rain.
i locked my door behind me and started to make my way down my drive way to my car, but stopped halfway when i spotted chris already there.
his hair was soaking wet, his once light grey hoodie now a darker hue as it was saturated in rain.
he held a giant bouquet of flowers in his left hand, a plastic bag hanging from his right.
“chris” i breathed out, as i walked towards him.
“you scared the shit out of me” i yelled over the rain, watching as his eyes widened.
“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have left like that. i just got overwhelmed and i didn’t even think before i left”
he placed the flowers down on the hood of my car, freeing his hand.
he moved my hair out of my face, cupping my cheek.
“i just- i’m in love with you” he spoke as he swallowed harshly.
my eyes widened at his confession, and my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.
his cheeks and nose were red due to the cold rain dripping down his face.
“and i’m scared. i don’t want to do anything to fuck up our relationship, because i need you in my life. i’d never forgive myself for scaring you away” his eyes bounced back and forth between mine and my head began to spin under his intense gaze.
“and watching the way charlie treated you for so long killed me. but i’d go through that a hundred more times if it meant having you in my life. because then, at least i’d be here to take care of you. that’s all i ever want to do, for the rest of my life. i just wanna be here for you and look out for you.”
“and if i’m freaking you out we can pretend like this never happened, but please don’t run away. i can’t lose you, i need you” he spoke with certainty, like he knew for a fact that he couldn’t live without me.
“please say something” he whispered.
i continued to stare at him in shock, trying to process the fact that i wasn’t dreaming.
this was the moment that i’d been waiting for for years.
i spent so long wishing that chris would long for me the way that i did him.
and here he stood, in front of me in the pouring rain, telling me what i’ve been trying to muster up the courage to tell him.
it’s like i was living the life of a main character in a romance novel.
like the movie scene that every teenage girl dreams that she’ll find herself in.
it felt so surreal, i couldn’t even think of the right words to say.
so instead of speaking, i did the next best thing.
i grabbed the bottom of his hoodie, bunching it up and using it to pull his lips to mine.
this kiss was different than any of the other ones we’d shared, even a few hours ago.
every unspoken emotion that we shoved down and were too scared to express, was poured into the kiss.
it was almost like we were starting over.
the rain washed away every feeling of sadness and pain that we had previously experienced.
the kiss introduced us to the happiness, love, and passion that we had to look forward to.
it was always there, but sometimes it was easy for the negative feelings to overpower and bury them.
he dropped the bag that he was holding, snaking his hand around my waist.
i tilted my head, deepening the kiss as our lips moved against each others.
i silently prayed that he couldn’t hear the uncontrollable pace that my heart was beating at.
his wet fingertips grazed my jawline, making me shudder against him.
despite the coolness of his skin, every touch to my waist seemed to make my skin heat up.
when we finally needed air, we pulled away from each other.
my eyes were still closed as my swollen lips tingled, aching for the touch of his again.
chris moved in again, pressing his lips to mine tenderly, making me laugh.
i pulled away slightly, prompting his lips to follow mine.
before he could kiss me again, though, i spoke up,” i love you too” i whispered.
“and i have for years. my relationship with charlie was a sad attempt at getting over you” i said, making him chuckle at me.
“you’re the only person i’ll ever want, chris. it’s just you. and i’m not going anywhere, ok? you have me” i said as i smiled up at him.
a wide smile broke onto his face as he pulled me in for another kiss.
suddenly remembering something, i pulled away from him.
“hey, did you know that a rain kiss is on my bucket list ?” i asked excitedly.
“i know” he smiled at me before pulling me in again.
MY EYES ONLY ->
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🌀🌀🌀🌀
this is literally based on @hearts4chriss + chris’s love story, i be taking notes when she tells me abt it 😝
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my eyes only masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @heraakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07
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sheisjoeschateau · 10 months ago
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"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART II
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ALRIGHT, SECOND PART IS OUT. NOT WAITING. hope u like :)
âș₊⋆ ☟⋆âș₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆âș₊⋆ ☟⋆âș₊⋆
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader || enemies to lovers trope.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE COPIED AND/OR REPOSTED ON HERE OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR PUT INTO ANY AI PROGRAMS. THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG, MDNI.
An original fanfiction series, written by Misha St. James.
This isn't your first time meeting Steve Harrington.
You know him. And he knows you. Well, maybe. Who knows. You both run in completely different circles in high school.
While there's some very obvious tension amongst the love triangle (Nancy-Steve-Jonathan) you take a second to look over at the group of kids behind King Steve. There's a curly-haired kid wearing a cap, another kid sporting a bandana, and a redheaded girl. They give you sort of awkward waves, which you return with a tight-lipped grin.
"Sorry," Jonathan's suddenly saying. "Uh, you guys, this is umm -"
"Bauman," you interject. "Just...call me Bauman."
Steve is now looking at you, realizing. Recognizing. "Hey," he says. "Wait, aren't you in Click's class?"
You press your lips into a thin line, trying not to be totally off-put by him. And in truth, you weren't really. Steve had seemed less... douchey, since he started dating Nancy. You were grateful for that. No matter how doomed their relationship was, it seemed to help him get rid of his trash friends. God, Tommy H. and Carol and that Nicole girl were just toxic.
"Yeah," you said, reaching out a hand. "Nice to officially meet you."
Steve shook your hand, a bit sheepish. And still distracted with the fact that his girlfriend had shown up with Byers. Why was she with Byers? You felt yourself internally cringing, seeing how oblivious yet aware he was. It actually made you feel bad.
"I'm Dustin!"
You suddenly looked in the direction of a toothy-grinned kid smiling at you, and you couldn't help but grin back. "Hey, Dustin."
Lucas and Max introduced themselves, too. But then, you all heard sound coming from off in the distance. The lab.
So yeah, things took a pretty sharp turn from there. It's all kind of a blur, if you're being honest. Everyone began talking over each other, eventually gathering info as to exactly who you are and why you were here (at least the general just of it). They learned about Murray Bauman, and Steve's face just became more perplexed, the more that Nancy and Jonathan revealed what they had learned...together.
...yikes.
But the kids were also asking you a million questions, very curious about you. Max found you funny, finding you to have more cool-girl energy than Nancy, who just seemed too polished for her to know how to communicate with her.
Eventually, Nancy noticed the power back on at the lab and you all took off in that direction. Steve was arguing a lot with the kid named Dustin. Very brotherly. Low-key motherly. The toll gate wouldn't open, then suddenly it did open, and then next thing you know a car is racing towards you from the lab and it's got Jim Hopper at the steering wheel? He's throwing the door open, demanding all of you to get in.
As you all drive, you end up near the front of the car, squished between Steve and Dustin.
"Bauman."
You look over at Jim, surprised. But he's looking at you in the rearview with all-knowing eyes. "You're Murray's niece."
You nod. "Yeah. Jim Hopper, right?"
Jim reaches back to pat your knee, eyes on the road and still shaken up from whatever the hell they just escaped. "M'sorry, kid. Your uncle's been getting shit from me. I know he sent you. M'really sorry. I'll make it right with him after all this, alright? Promise."
You just nod, knowing there's really no time for any of that right now. Since you got in the car, you haven't even had time to notice how there is a woman (clearly Joyce Byers) in pure distress, along with another kid in tow and the limp body of another child that she's holding. Jonathan is reaching for him, riddled with worry. Is that Will?
Once you all make it back to the Byers residence, it's tense. Really fucking tense. Jonathan is knelt in front of the couch, voicing his regrets out loud as he stares at his brother's limp form. Nancy stands behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. You're on the opposite side of the room, leaned against the wall.
Which is why you notice that behind Hopper, who's yelling into the wall phone, Steve. He looks...devastated. Hurt. Heartbroken.
...fuck, he looks heartbroken.
He walks past you, pinching his nose and sniffing once. He looks like he's really fighting off some emotion, escaping to another room. It makes you think about everything that went down at your uncle's bunker, and how maybe it was funny there...but it isn't here. Not now, seeing that this guy actually has some intense feeling for Nancy Wheeler. Intense love for her. Real love.
...but Nancy doesn't feel that same intense love for him.
...oh god, that's messy.
But all hell is breaking loose before you can linger on that for much longer. Suddenly, you're all devising a plan. It has something to do with dungeons and dragons, and Will being possessed, and getting him in a room that whatever monster is inside of him won't recognize. The you're all deciphering Morse Code, and it's a whirlwind from there.
And then you're all holding weapons, bracing fore an attack...when some young girl walks in. Who you come to learn is the infamous Eleven. Her hair grew back, and she looks ready to join a punk band.
Pretty bitchin' look, you gotta admit.
The kids introduce her to you, and she gives you a shy smile. Then you're all splitting up into groups, and you catch a brief exchange between Nancy and Steve. He's saying something to her about going with Jonathan, and it makes you tense for Nancy. You can't even imagine how she must feel, knowing that he sees it.
And honestly, the way that Steve talks is...so not King Steve. It's uncharacteristically mature. Secure, and assuring. Not that of the teen heartthrob and bad boy you've been going to school with. And when Nancy does go off with Jonathan, you see Harrington's heart shatter into a million pieces with just the look in his eyes.
You feel bad. You suddenly feel really bad.
But also, he had to have seen this coming. Right? Jonathan Byers was a good, decent guy, who'd been there for Nancy all throughout the hell of last year. Steve had come around, finally. But by then, the trauma bond between Byers and Wheeler was irreversible. There's no changing that.
But damn, unrequited love sucks.
You knew was rejection felt like, and you wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even your worst enemy.
Out of guilt, you make some conversation with Steve. Given it's just the two of you with the kids left at the house, needing to wait things out, you both easily make conversation. It's a bit awkward at first, but oddly it finds flow pretty easily. Steve's still got his charm, although it's a little more grounded than before. It isn't forced, or laced with popular-kid attitude. That's refreshing.
As you both end up listening to the kids like the only two parental figures around, then end up having to fight off that psycho new kid at school named Billy Hargrove (who's actually Max's stepbrother?!) and patch up Steve's very beaten and battered face which somehow still looks pretty, annnnd wind up in a tunnel full of creatures (demo dogs? is that what Dustin called them?), then somehow survive all of that shit... you and Steve become pretty bonded, pretty quickly.
And when the worst of it is seemingly over, you end up helping Eleven get ready for the Snowball -- dropping her off with Hopper. He's grateful for your help, and after making amends with your uncle you two have gotten to know each other well, too. He likes you, appreciating your mature sense of self.
Joyce adores you already, being the kind-natured and loving mama-bear that she is.
And El? Well, she loves you. You're like a cool older sister figure of sorts.
You and Steve run into each other when dropping off the kiddos at the Snowball, making conversation about how crazy everything was. You talk about other things, too. Just mundane things, bouncing off each other well. But when Steve notices Nancy inside, he gets that sad puppy-dog look in his eyes again. Then, Jonathan's coming out of the dance with a camera. He clearly was the designated photographer for the night.
And he clearly has captured Nancy Wheeler's heart.
One night, after Jonathan and Nancy have started going steady and you're all on summer break, you're all over at the Henderson's house watching the kids. The adults are there, too, since Mrs. Henderson is out working overnight. Murray is pouring up drinks for the adults and teens, much to Joyce's disapproval. But he just goes about his business, clinking glasses. Hopper honestly looks like he could really use a fucking drink. Or 5.
You, Steve, Nancy and Jonathan all toast, happily. Chatting. Laughing. Making light of things.
...but that ends up being pretty short-lived.
Before you know it, you're in the kitchen helping clean up while Joyce gets the kids in bed and Hopper is on the couch slurring with your uncle. Steve had offered to help you, but Dustin insisted that he come see something in his room before they all went to bed. Nancy has left with Mike and Max, while Lucas is staying the night.
Welp. Jonathan walks in, drunk, telling you thank you.
It's sloppy, and it would be funny except for the fact that he is talking so fucking loud. He's just thanking you, and then Murray, over and over -- "...for meddling with'm love life because now, I'm dating th'most beautifurrrl girl in Hawkins. N'if'it weren't for y'two...I'd still'b pining o'r h-her."
...annnnd then he’s blabbering on about how you let him and Nancy take the bed. “Well’lmost
 ha, w-we ended urp
takin’th
couch. Whischhh
you tol’us you’w’d
toHaLLy tAkE’stead.” Then he’s snickering, drunkenly. “Cuz’you toooootally wanted us to doooo itttt. Schhhhhhayin that — m’not the safe one. That’m — I’m the one’th Nannnncy l-loves. Not
S-Steve
”
You just chuckle nervously, giving him a pat on the shoulder. And you just keep washing the dishes when he gives you a tight hug from behind, stumbling a bit and making you almost drop and break one of Mrs. Henderson's very cute plates.
Right on cue, Steve rounds the corner, having heard it.
All of it.
And now that Steve has gotten wind of the fact you played a huge role — along with Murray — on why Nancy left him, he is totally pissed.
In fact, he’s livid. 
"Steve," you try, but he just holds up a hand, staring daggers at you.
"Save it, Bauman," he grits. "Save. It."
It causes him to have the utmost disdain towards you, border lining hate. It just festers over time, getting worse.
Something about that makes your stomach flip inside out with a horrible, upset feeling. Your guts feel knotted up, and if the reality of things weren't so bleak, you would laugh at the fact that losing Steve Harrington's friendship (let alone trust) would upset you one day, let alone even happen. You feel bad. You really do. But God, as time goes on... his entire attitude about it is insufferable. He isn't letting up any time soon. Not when you both meet up with the kids (because regardless of the strain between you two, you're both the parents now). It feels like two divorced parents, meeting up to share custody of the chitlins.
The only relationship to which Steve is committed, is the one that he shares with Miss Hatred. And you're her bitch.
...guess there's still some King Steve in him after all.
You knew King Steve. He was an ass. So you know what? Suck it, Harrington. Karma’s a bitch.
As time passes, you begin firing back at him - tired of trying to explain yourself, apologize or play nice. Steve wants to fucking play? Alright then. Game on, Harrington.
There's a whole upside down universe threatening to take over still? All good. Let's still brawl, Harrington.
The kids keep bringing you both around each other, and you're also working at a place inside of the same damn mall as Steve is for the summer? AWESOME.
LET'S GET READY TO FUCKIN RUMBLE.
So yeah, you’re totally involved in the whole mall ordeal with the Russians, bonding you to Steve and Robin, along with Dustin and Erica.
But despite that, Steve still resents you. So there is still rivalry between the two of you.  Hot and bothered. 
That said, despite his pure disdain towards you...it doesn't change the fact that you actually do begin to see him for the much better human that he is becoming. King Steve has fallen. No doubt. You see that. The way that he loves and cares the kids, especially Dustin. And the way that Steve reacts whenever Robin comes out to you both? He's an angel. Hell, he even fought the soldiers off of you whenever they decided to make you their torture-chamber play-thing. He definitely got mad at them for that one, but he also got mad at you for not going with Dustin and Erica before all of that went down. You both nearly strangled each other when attempting to hold the door shut, yelling at each other to run. Robin had finally joined you both, but still - neither of you budged.
Steve was a good guy. A nice guy, even. Just not to you, unless the moment called for him to be. Which was fine.

but he’s still annoying. And apparently, he can hold a fucking grudge like no other. He’s a world class champ at that, come to find out. Gold star.
You're onboarded to help Hopper, Murray and Joyce with shutting the gate. It's a no-brainer. Steve looks a little miffed, seeing how the adults trust you like one of them rather than him. Even the way that Jonathan is so cool around you, and Nancy seems shy around you, it just...irks him.
When you manage to help Joyce close the gate, you witness the death of Hopper. And it kills you, along with your uncle. You ache for Joyce, unable to fathom how you'll have to bring it up to El.
But hey, you all manage to destroy the Mind Flayer. And when Billy is killed in the process, you tend to Max like a true older sister. She and Eleven have both come to look up to you as such, and Steve won't deny the fact that you're a saint with these kids. A real fucking saint. And if he's being honest...he's relieved to have a co-parenting partner.
But that is the extent of his gratitude towards you, which is strictly circumstantial. You make things convenient sometimes.
Hopper dying hits all of you hard. And you do everything that you can to help your uncle not drink himself to death. It's the only reason that you don't regularly visit the Wheelers in California. Your uncle is a wreck. Hopper was the only man who truly felt like a friend to your very lonely (by choice) Uncle Murray.
Steve does single you out to ask how you're doing, knowing that witnessing Hopper's death was tragic. But you just tell him that the real concern is your uncle and Joyce, insisting that you will get by. Steve seems hesitant at first, knowing that you're not fine. He might hate you, but he still cares about a party member who got put through hell.
"I'm alive, Steve. So I need to carry on. For everyone's sakes. I'll be alright."
As time goes on...
You and Steve give Robin very conflicting love advice, when it comes to her crush on Vikki.
"VIKKI LIKES BOOBIES."
"Christ, Steve," you're groaning in the backseat. "Stop being such a damn teenage boy."
"I'm almost 20, Bauman," he scowls at you in the rearview mirror.
You make a face, exaggerating feigned apology. "'Scuuuuuse me."
Man, he could not hate you more. Steve is sure of that. You are the worst. Why are you here. You are just the worst. Every time he looks at you, all he sees is Murray Bauman but as a much hotter 19-year-old girl with way more better comebacks and select timing.
AND NO, THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT.
!!!!!!!!
Next thing you know, Chrissy Cunningham has been found dead in a trailer that belongs to Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. Who, according to Dustin, is not only still in high school — he’s also friends with them? Yikes. But Dustin swears that he’s not a murderer.
You choose to believe Dustin. Much to Steve’s chagrin. In his mind, any chance that you get to disagree with him, you will gladly fucking take it. He is really committed to you being his enemy.
And you know what? Fine. You can play. You've been playing.
Eventually, Nancy comes back into the picture.
And honestly? Watching her be all into Steve again? As if she isn't in a relationship with Jonathan still? That pisses you off.
Not because you’re jealous. No, no. Not that.

yeah no, it’s not that.
Nah, it’s the way this girl just cannot for the life of her figure out what she is feeling. Dear lord, woman. Pick.
Eventually, you comment on this. But not until Eddie Munson is suddenly roped into y’all’s crew and you both strangely hit it off. You share the same taste in music. You both compare concert history, listing off you're favorites and randomly bursting into song. Very scream-o, metal music. Eddie thinks you're the shit, and you make him laugh a lot. He also makes you laugh a lot.
Steve hates that.  He really, really hates that.
But not because he is jealous. No, no. It’s not that.

yeah, it’s definitely not that.
Nah, it’s the way you make friends with someone he isn't a fan of just to spite him. You know he doesn’t like Eddie. You know he feels replaced by Dustin for him. You’re doing this shit on purpose. He knows it. He just knows it.
Regardless, you both stand by each other throughout the whole Vecna ordeal. And Max?  She loves you. Trusts you. A lot. You also tell her not to give Steve so much shit. So he’ll give you that.
But that’s all he’s gonna give you. And even that has its limits.
Whenever you all find out that Max is cursed, the first person that Steve finds himself looking at is you. Because you're the co-parent. You've gotta help him know what to do. You feel the exact same way.
You both witness her possession in he graveyard. You both help calm the kids down, and each other. Whenever Max writes letters to each of you, she looks at both you and Steve for a long time. A really long time. It's very uncomfortable.
...then she's finally handing you both a letter, and the look she shoots you both afterwards in really unsettling. Like she knows something.
But what the hell is there to know? That you both can't stand each other? NEWSFLASH: EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. So joke's on them.
...not Max though. She's in trouble. So she's allowed to know whatever the hell...that she...knows...?
You and Steve both profusely disagree with everyone about the idea of Max becoming the bait. In fact, it's the first time that you both are defending each other to everyone else. Whenever Max argues Steve, you tell her to listen.
"Steve has every right to be worried right now. We all do, Max."
She sighs, knowing that you're right.
And whenever Dustin tries to get quippy with you about stuff, Steve shuts him down real fast.
"Hey. Not cool. Bauman's in the right, check yourself."
Dustin also sighs, knowing that he's right.
Because you both know these kids better than anyone. You helped Mike ease up on Hopper, becoming that one older-sister figure he can actually go to and be normal around. Hell, he even hugs you. Mike never hugs anyone, except El. And Lucas? You and Steve are at every single one of his games, like proud parents. Will calls you whenever he wants to paint, knowing that you enjoy art. You've spent many nights painting with him, and even Steve will join with the other kids. They mostly just finger paint and bicker, but it's still lovely in its own sort of way. And then there's Dustin. The golden child, who both of you wanna hug and strangle at the same time. He is forever putting the two of you in close proximity, secretly loving the tension between the two of you. He figures that it's just because you both wanna be the favorite parent, and Dustin is too fixated on why Steve hasn't started dating Robin to even remotely suspect that you two could be an item.
There's a plan in motion now. It's in full swing, all groups peeling off. There's a new species added to the fucked up realm (the newly coined named for them is demo-bats) and you've somehow saved Steve's ass for the 3rd time. This guy seriously cannot catch a break.
But now, Eddie’s suddenly encouraging Steve to go after Nancy again. And damn, that bugs you.  It really motherfuckin’ gets under your skin. Because Eddie doesn’t know the full story about what went down between them. Not even close.
You can't help yourself. You tell Steve this, once Eddie walks up ahead. But of course, Steve is rebuking everything that you are saying.
And then he's telling you that Nancy is different, and -- “actually, things are better.” 
But you scoff at that, incredulously. And you're telling him to "wake up and realize that 1) she’s still with lover-boy Byers, and 2) you shouldn’t pine after someone who chose someone else over you."
You mean to say it kindly. Honestly, you try to.
But Steve doesn’t think so.  And he’s faster. He’s also cruel.
“Maybe that’s why you broke us up, huh?" Steve is firing back at you with all that he's got now. "Because you’re used to that. Being the second choice. Weren’t you Clark’s best friend? Didn’t he drag you along until he ended up picking Becky? Yeah. Thought I didn’t know that, right? Or how you hung out with some of the basketball guys and never once got asked out by any of them? God, it’s so obvious. Also, it’s pathetic. You clearly hate seeing anyone happy. So hey, guess what? You got your wish: successfully ruining someone else’s happiness. Bingo! Congratulations, you won.”
It hurts. It really does. It fucking hurts.
Still, you do try to reason with him. It’s a little harsh, you’ll admit it. You’re not exactly speaking to him sweetly. But you try.
“All my personal love life issues aside —" you start, bringing your voice down and speaking as level as possible. "...which honestly, I’ve never even had something worth labeling as love — Steve, YOU still deserve to —”
“To suffer,” he cuts you off. “Yeah. I know. And the fact you’ve not had love? That just further proves my point. You admit it and yet you’re still out to get me. Because you’re fucking miserable.”
Alright, you’ve had it.
“I’m miserable?” you ask, ready to fire back. “Steve. You’re the one letting your ex-girlfriend — who didn’t even properly dump you — toy with your brain again into actually thinking she’s gonna pick you this time. She doesn’t deserve that. And you certainly don’t deserve —”
“You deserve nothing.” Steve is seething. Then hissing at you, “You’re bullshit, Bauman. You and your whack job Uncle. You’re both bullshit.”
So you stop. You let it go.
You let Steve Harrington hate you and suffer his own misfortunes. And you pretend that what he said didn’t just shatter your soul into a million tiny pieces.  You nod at him, swallowing hard.
“My uncle is twice the man you’ll ever be. King Steve.”  
It’s a pathetic last attempt. And your voice feels small, tight. But standing up for your uncle is better than yourself at this point. You walk off, away from him.
And Steve doesn’t tell you to stop. He doesn’t tell you not to walk away. He lets you.
So he doesn’t see you cry alone inside of the upside down version of the Wheelers’ bathroom.  He doesn’t see your heart break in two, and he doesn’t see you bite back the sobs sinking your teeth into your palms.
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arealphrooblem · 2 years ago
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Mutually Assured Destruction
Snyopsis: Villain x Civilian. Civilian can sense other people's powers through auras but hides this ability. They are terrified of the most boring person at their office job, who hides the most powerful aura Civilian has ever felt.
Being the first person out the door undoubtedly did Civilian no favors to their work reputation. 
Anytime someone joked about it, often with an edge, Civilian would make excuses:  their dog needed let out (they didn’t have a dog),  they had to get to the bank before it closed (they use their banking app 90 percent of the time), they liked having a work/life balance (that one’s true). 
The real reason, of course, was to avoid any encounters with them.  Their newest colleague -- Jonathan Anderson. A bland, forgetful name for a bland, forgetful person. He arrived two months ago in her data entry division, dressed everyday in the same unremarkable navy suit with a grey tie, gave generic responses to small talk at lunch. 
And he scared the shit out of them. 
Luckily for Civilian, their paths didn’t cross that often and when they would, Civilian had found ways to neatly side step them -- emails instead of face to face conversations, calling in favors, and once, even taking a sick day to avoid a meeting. 
It worked great -- until it didn’t. 
The elevator descended at an agonizing snail’s pace. Civilian stood in the back, gripping the railing behind them with a sweaty hand and tried to breathe slowly and evenly. 
 The only other person in the elevator with them -- and the only other person in the building -- was Jonathan Anderson. Because of course he would be working late the one time Civilian had a deadline change and a mad scramble to get everything read by tomorrow. 
He stood in front of the buttons, his back to them, plain brown leather briefcase dangling from his hand. To everyone else, he looked harmless. But the sheer power of his aura radiated like the sun. It made Civilian light-headed being in such close contact with it. 
Thirty more seconds, they thought to themselves. That’s all this elevator ride would last. After that Civilian could scurry off to the parking garage and screech out of here. 
29 . . . 28 . . . 27 . . .26 . . . 
The elevator came to a sudden, sickening halt and Civilian’s heart with it. They waited for the emergency alarm to blare, but the elevator stayed eerily silent. 
“Is there . . is there something wrong?” Their voice came out shaky and hoarse. They cleared their throat. 
For a moment Jonathan didn’t respond. Instead he turned around to lean casually against the wall and survey them, his face as bland and unreadable as always. 
“That’s a question I think I should be asking,” he said, adjusting his glasses. 
Instantly their hackles rose.  It took considerable effort to keep the panic from their face, to force their shoulders to relax, to look confused and concerned. 
“What do you mean?”
“You’re afraid of me.”
The truth struck true, lodging itself between their ribs. Civilian swallowed, suddenly dry mouthed, and tried to find the air again. 
“You’ve trapped me in an elevator and you’re bigger than me,” they pointed out. 
“That is rather nerve-wracking, I’ll admit. It’s almost believable. But this started a long time ago, didn’t it?”
He straightened and took a step towards them. And another. All while speaking in that affable, level tone, as if commenting on the weather.  
 “Since my first day here. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you never shook my hand that day. Or that I don’t notice all the little tricks you pull to avoid me. Yet we’ve never had a negative encounter. You’ve never given me the opportunity to create a bad impression. It’s rather baffling, don’t you think?”
He stopped a safe distance away but close enough to prevent any attempt to escape. Despite being only a couple inches taller than Civilian, they loomed in the small space. 
“So tell me -- how do you know?”
“Know what?” 
It was their only defense, this wide eyed denial.  To pretend they were discomfited by a bizarre encounter with their coworker, rather than straddling the edge of a panic attack while stuck in an elevator with a man who could kill them with a snap of his fingers probably. 
He snorted. “You gave up the ability to be coy when you stepped into this elevator. Please don’t make me ask you again.”
Though he made no threatening movements, the swell of his power spoke for him, the pressure of it nearly suffocating. 
“I can feel it,” Civilian whispers shakily. “Your power. Anyone’s power. They have an -- an aura about them and I can feel how strong it is.”
“So you can tell, instantly, who is and isn’t a powered individual?” he clarified, his focus sharpening like the sun through a magnifying glass. 
They only managed a nod, their throat tight. 
“Fascinating.” 
The hint of awe in his voice would have been flattering if Civilian hadn’t spent so much effort to avoid this kind of attention. 
“And which organization is benefiting from this power? Who is keeping tabs on me?”
“No one,” Civilian said hurriedly. “I haven’t told anyone.”
A wicked smirk spread like slow poison across his face, transforming a visage that no one looked twice at into something terrifying. 
“Do you think I’m as stupid as I pretend to be for work? There is no possibility that any organization would allow someone like you to walk untethered. Now, answer the question before I show you exactly why my aura frightens you so much.”
His hand hovered just over their heart, the beat of which a cacophony in their ears. Nothing happened -- yet. But the anticipation of it, coupled with the fact that Civilian still had no idea what such power was, made their whole body start to tremble. 
“They don’t know about me,” they said, throat tight. “No one knows about me. I’ve kept it a secret my whole life.”
Jonathan still surveyed them with suspicion. “Why? I imagine you would be an extremely valuable asset to them. And those tend to be very well compensated. You expect me to believe you’d rather be a data clerk for a bank?”
A flash of rage breaks through the fog of terror. “My father was an extremely valuable asset. It didn’t stop him from dying an excruciating and unnecessary death. I’m not following in his footsteps.”
For a moment he looked taken aback at this confession before his eyes narrowed in what almost seemed like approval. It emboldened Civilian. 
“Look, I don’t know what you’re doing here and I don’t want to know. If I tell anyone about you, it will blow my secret too. So just . . . let me stay out of your way?” They swallowed, tongue darting out to moisten cracked lips. “Please?”
For several agonizing seconds he just looked at them, his face blank as printer paper. Civilian tried to meet his eyes, to look trustworthy, but the weight of his flat, calculating stare was too much. Instead, their gaze fell onto his hand, still hovering over their heart, ready to crush them or incinerate them or dissolve them or whatever ungodly thing he could do. 
And then his hand slowly slipped down further between them and flipped up, palm open. 
“What take out do you enjoy?” he asked. 
“ . . .what?”
“It’s a bit late for a restaurant, but I know several takeout places still open this time of night. Do you have a preference?”
It was Civilian’s turn to stare at Jonathan with their brow furrowed. 
“You -- you don’t need to buy me dinner,” they stammered. 
“Of course I do. It’s customary for a date, yes?”
“For a what?” Civilian choked. 
That wicked smirk appeared again, giving life to the void of his neutral expression. 
“You know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
“I -- I’m not your enemy!”
“And you will never have the opportunity to be one. I’m ensuring it. And since you refuse to acknowledge my presence here at work,  there is only one other recourse. Now choose or I shall choose for you.”
A date. Dinner. With him. Someone with the strongest aura Civilian had ever encountered. Someone who was definitely planning something illegal. 
“I like tacos,” they said faintly. 
With a wave of his hand, the elevator shuddered back to life and continued it’s gentle decent to the ground floor. 
“Then we shall get tacos,” said Jonathan, taking their hand.
Part Two
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blackbirdie1234 · 11 months ago
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The Strange Encounter
Paring: Embry Call x Reader!
Here is the link to part 2.
This is my first time writing a fan fic. If you guys like it let me know! I'm going to post part 2 very soon! Hope you enjoy :)
No warnings
Summary: You recently moved back to Forks after not being in the town since you were eight. When your old friend Jacob Black asks you to come to a party down at La Push you accept. What's the worst that could happen?
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It was a calm and cool fall day in Forks. You are helping your mom at the bookstore she owns. As you stock the shelves you look out the window and see a group of guys around your age walking. You recognize one of the faces "Oh my god, Mom is that Jacob Black?" you ask in shock. Your Mom comes over to you with a confused look on her face "Oh wow, yes it is honey" Your mom pauses for a moment and smiles "Well hasn't he grown" You look at her, she has a smug smile on her face "I almost didn't recognize him, he chopped all his hair off" you point out. "why don't you go out and say hello" your mom says with a grin. "I haven't seen him since I was 8 mom, he probably doesn't even recognize me, and take that smile off your face he definitely is not my type," you say as you both laugh, your mom walks away as you continue to stare out the window for a moment noticing a cute boy standing next to Jacob. You used to live in Forks when you were young and just recently moved back but you didn't have many friends besides Jacob, so you still consider yourself the new girl in town.
As you finish cleaning up the store you look down at your watch 6:00pm. "Oh shit, I gotta get going," you say to yourself. You grab your bag and your keys and lock up the store. From the distance you can hear a group of people laughing and talking loudly, you look up and see Jacob and his friends walking down the street coming towards you. You turn and start walking to your car not wanting to run into them, you aren't sure if Jacob remembers you and you can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing yet. As you are walking you hear your name being called 'Y/N?" you hear from behind you "shit" you think to yourself. You slowly turn around and see Jacob running up to you he has a big smile on his face and his thoughts are confirmed when you turn around "I knew it! I saw your mom coming out of the bookstore earlier and recognized her immediately, when did you get back in town?" he says with the smile still on his face you can see his friends in the distance talking amongst themselves, "Jacob, wow so good to see you" you say with an awkward smile "We moved back about a week ago, I figured your dad would have told you I'm pretty sure my dad and yours caught up a few days ago" you say with a bit of confusion "Yeah my dad and I haven't been talking much recently" Jacob says making the mood shift " Anyways your mom opened up a bookstore, that's so cool" He says obviously trying to change the topic "Yeah its always been a dream of hers so it's pretty nice we finally get to do it" you say smiling "Thats great, I'm really glad your back in town, hey my friends and I are planning on going down to La Push to have a bonfire, do you want to come? Maybe we can catch up?" he says looking at you eagerly. you hesitate for a moment thinking it over "Uh, yeah sure that sounds like fun" you say with a small smile "Great, come at any time we're heading out there in an hour" He says excitedly "Okay, I'll see you there" you say turning around and getting in your car not noticing the eyes on you as you drove away.
You're in your room getting ready, it's a chilly night so you throw on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with a zip-up jacket. After you finish getting ready you grab your keys and hop in your car. When you arrive at La Push you see the big fire in the sand and tons of people surrounding it. "Woah, I didn't think it would be that many people" you mumble to yourself, regretting saying yes. You get out of your car and see Jacob approaching "Hey! Glad you could make it, follow me" he says and you start walking together. He introduces you to a few people and you start talking with a guy named Quil, as you guys are talking another guy comes up to you. You realize it is the guy you saw earlier, as you make eye contact his face goes from smiling to completely awestruck. You stand there confused as he just stares at you for a moment before excusing himself and basically speed-walking to the house away from everyone. You turn and look at Quil confused "What's his problem" you ask genuinely Quil looks at you and tells you he will be right back before turning and walking to the house. You look around and lock eyes with Jacob, he walks over "What happened?" he asks me confused "I don't know, Quil and I were talking and then one of your friends walked up not even saying anything, and then ran to the house" a look of understanding crosses Jacobs face " I will be right back I promise" it seems like hours but it's more like a few minutes of sitting on one of the rocks watching the fire burn as everyone else is drinking and having a good time. You were about to stand and leave when Jacob came up to you "Hey, I'm sorry about that. He's just a little drunk don't worry about it. Everything is all good" Jacob says but you can tell something is off. Jacob still has the same lying face as he did when you were eight so you aren't easily convinced but decide to let it go. You and Jacob sit in awkward silence for a while until Quil comes back. "Hey, what are you guys talking about" Quil says in a much too cheery mood considering what just happened, "Nothing much, we're just enjoying the scenery" Jacob responds obviously trying to make it seem as though this isn't the weirdest interaction in the world. Out of the corner of your eye, you see someone walking up to you and turn your head, it is the same guy. "Hey guys" the man speaks to Jacob and Quil seeming perfectly fine now, with not even a hint of awkwardness, again acting like nothing happened. Suddenly, he turned to face you "I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what got into me," he said a bit shy " I'm Embry, what's your name?" there was a spark in his eye as he spoke to you, like he already knew the answer, like he knew everything about you, like it was his life mission just to speak to you. "Don't worry about it, it happens," you say politely "My name is Y/N" his eyes perk up a bit at that. You don't know who he is and why he's acting so strangely but damn is he hot. Without your knowledge, Quil and Jacob left as you and Embry were talking. Now you were stuck, not that you minded having to talk to Embry, but something about him seemed off. "So I heard you just moved back here from (insert city/state name)?" Embry questioned "Yeah, My mom got her own bookstore and my dad got a new job that allows him to work from home so we decided to come back," you say as both of you start walking to a more secluded area of the beach "Are you happy to be back?" he says with a bit of hesitation, he's not trying to push any boundaries, it seems like he genuinely wants to get to know you "Yeah I'm pretty happy about it, I've always loved cold and rainy weather," you say making Embry laugh a bit "What?" you say looking at him with suspicion but a hint of amusement on your face "Nothing, nothing it's just not every day you hear someone actually enjoying that type of weather, it's my favorite too" he says blushing a bit as we come to a stop near the ocean. We've walked pretty far and we can only see the smoke from the fire rising above the rocks. "Y/N I need to tell you something," Embry says nervously.
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"I57" (part one)
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My friends and I were coming back from a private party in Chicago. Ludacris crew was there, but we had got invited through a friend named Ryan who's an artist. The party was a promotion party. A celebration for one of their artist. Before we left the party, Ryan came up to me and said, "Drive safe and stay blessed." I didn't think nothing of it at the time, but I'm like,"alrighty."
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I was driving, Eric was in the passenger seat, Torris, Bret, and Trell were in the back. Trell was sitting behind the driver seat. I'm on highway, "I 57" going at least 90-95mph, trying to get home in record time. We have been on the road for about 25 minutes. I'm talking through my headphones, updating a friend named Vinnie on the night since he couldn't come with us. Everyone else in the car was joking and all talking about how good the party was. I57 merged itself from a 3 lane highway into a 2 lane highway. Im now driving in the passing lane (left lane). Around this time is when I noticed all the cars in front of me were switching to the right lane. One after another, like a chain reaction. Which struck me as odd. We were all traveling around the same speed. I'm not putting much thought into it by putting it in my short-term memory.
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About 30 seconds later, I was driving around a curve, and my thoughts became focused on the cars driving in the opposite lane. Some of the cars' headlights look like they were driving on my side of the road due to the curve. Ironically, there was an actual car driving on the wrong side of the road headed straight towards me! By the time my brain registered what was happening, like a reflex, my hands were already turning the wheel to get in the right lane. We ended up missing the car by half a second. That car had to be going over 100mph because I noticed the car from a distance of 2 football fields and in a blink of an eye that car headlights became so bright it lit up the inside of my car.
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Nobody really didn't know what had happened. Besides that they whole body just "jumped" in the middle of their conversations, "What da fuck yo!!" and "Damn!!" they were saying as they reposition themselves in the seat. Only people who grasp what just happened were Trell and Eric. Because of knowing, the screaming began to become level and calm as we were all reasoning on what just happened.
I never stopped driving. Still in shock about what had happened contemplating, "All five of us could have lost our lives in a tenth of a second!" I had got off the phone to be more focused, to get us all home safe. My eyes became focused on all the car headlights. Any light that would shine my eyes would pick it up. Here's the strange thing about this story. As I'm driving about minutes after the scare. There was an all white, bright light, shaped as a small sphere. I first noticed from my left peripheral, "What duh?" I thought. And this light flew from my left side to straight in front of me, than to my right side, and I stared at it the whole time as it flew off out of my sight in the cornfield. Left me with this question in my head, "What was that?"
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So I asked the question to everyone in the car who were all still wild up and conversing and reasoning on what had happened. "Man! Bro, did anyone just see that shit?" I asked. Choosing that choice of words purposely. Because I literally thought I was losing it, and I knew if anyone said that they saw the same thing, then I was not tripping. One by one, everyone nodded in agreement when the words were said, "See what? That car that almost hit us?" Except Trell, who were sitting behind the driver seat. He said, "You talking about that white ball of light that flew pass the car into the cornfield?" Even describing in detail by pointing his finger from left waving it to his right in the same movement in which I saw it from. That's when I knew I wasn't tripping. We all agreed that day at that very moment that we were all still alive because of God, and that was an angel of God. In all reality, when I turned the wheel, my brain didn't even pick up on what was fully going on, but I was already turning the wheel before I had processed what happened. That saying comes to mind "Let Jesus take the wheel."
Everything from that night. That was in my short-term memory. Was moved to my long-term memory. But even after witnessing this, I still didn't take take it to heart. That Trell saw the same thing I saw and all five of us having a near death experience. Even though we were saved from a crash. I selfishly unknowingly continued to live my life on a crashing course.
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dabiekql · 2 years ago
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HQ Osamu - Interrupting Confession (Fluff)
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As soon as the dismissal bell rang, Osamu's classroom door opened in haste. Due to the frantic opening, Osamu looked up to see his brother panicking. Osamu just gave a disinterested look before going back to packing his things, but as he was about to zip his bag, Atsumu dragged him out in a rush, heading to whoever knows. "What the fuck is your problem?!"
Atsumu did not stop walking as he replied to him, "We don't have time for this, you fuckin pig!"
"Who the fuck are you calling a pig, you little shit?!"
"I said that's not important right now! It's about y/n, you dumbass!"
At Atsumu's words, Osamu's eyes widened. "What about her?!"
"I heard a guy was going to confess to her right now! Don't you have to go and fuckin interrupt it?!" Osamu nodded his head and began to ran along with Atsumu rather being dragged by him. At Osamu's actions, Atsumu scoffed but ran even faster.
Soon they spotted y/n's silhouette with an unfamiliar guy who looked shy. Osamu was about to run towards them, but Atsumu stopped him and hid themselves behind the wall. "What the fuck?! Let me go!"
"Wait, you piece of shit! Go interrupt them in the right timing!"
"What right timing?!"
"Just wait you fuckin shit!"
Osamu groaned but waited as Atsumu has instructed. The twins peaked behind the wall as they tried to eavesdrop on their conversation. "I can't hear them properly..." Osamu groaned.
"Shut up! I'm trying to listen!" Atsumu scowled as he paid attention to the two silhouettes.
"Hey, thank you for showing up..." The guy said with slight pinkish face.
"Sure," y/n said as she stared at him with curiosity. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"I... I like you! Go out with me!" The guy yelled in flustered state.
Y/n eyes widened in shock while Osamu clenched his fist as he prayed for her to reject the confession. As Osamu was about to ask Atsumu if he can go interrupt them now, but before he can do so, Atsumu pushed him towards them. "Go! Pretend like you are her boyfriend!"
Osamu was not at the state of questioning whether or not his brother was right. He just nodded and quickly headed towards the two people and made sure to put on his usual face.
"What are you doing here?" He asked y/n as if he wasn't eavesdropping on them a minute ago. "I thought we were supposed to go home together."
"W-Wha?" The guy looked so confused while y/n looked at him with a look of amusement. Unknown to Osamu, y/n could read him like an open book.
Osamu turned towards the guy with a slight frown. "Who is this?"
"I-I..." Before the guy had the chance to answer him, Osamu interrupted him. "What business do you have with my girlfriend?"
At the word, girlfriend, the guy gasped as his eyes widened. "G-Girlfriend?!"
Y/n chuckled at Osamu's words before linking her arms around his. "Yeah... So I can't accept your feelings. Sorry, but thank you for liking me." She smiled at him before tugging Osamu's sleeves as a sign for them to go.
Osamu blushed as he glanced where Atsumu was before he walked along with her. He saw Atsumu giving him a thumbs up before disappearing from his line of sight.
When they were out of the guy's sight, y/n unlinked her arms before laughing as she stared at him. "What was that about?"
Osamu avoided eye contact with her as he pretended not understanding what she was talking about.
"Since when were you my boyfriend?" Y/n asked in amusement.
Osamu could feel his whole face and neck turning hot that he quickly covered them with his hand. "Y-You should be thankful! I helped you reject him!"
Y/n grinned as she nodded. "Oh~ That was what it was about? Thanks I guess then, I thought it was mutual feelings~" She then walked ahead of him.
At her words, Osamu was stunned as his brain tried to process what he just heard. As he was processing, y/n hastened her steps to put a distance between them as she laughed in glee. When Osamu was done processing her words, he quickly followed after her. "M-Mutual?! Did you just say mutual?!"
Y/n had a playful expression as she stuck her tongue out before running faster. "You said you were just helping~ Why does it matter?"
"N-No!" Osamu shook his head as he tried to catch up to her.
"What do you mean no? You were the one who said it a while ago~" Y/n laughed as she crossed the streets. "I'm busy, so I'll head off first! Bye bye!"
Osamu looked like he was about to cry. Y/n laughed even harder at his expression as she waved at him from the other side of the street. Then she brought out her phone as she walked towards wherever she had to head.
Osamu ruffled his hair in frustration before letting out a long sigh. "Why did she had to be pretty even at this moment..."
As he didn't know what to do, he felt his phone vibrate. When he brought out his phone and read the message he received, his face turned like a tomato as he crouched down, ignoring the stares of the people walking pass him. "I really like her..."
See you tomorrow, my cute boyfriend~đŸ©·
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train-wrecc · 2 years ago
Text
Here For You
Marcus Baker x female!reader
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word count: 4.5k 
warnings!: mentions of depression, anxiety, a panic attack, i think that’s all

ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
Y/n knew Marcus could struggle with his depression and anxiety at times, so she tried her best to be there for him, whenever he needed her, she was right there.
She was always trying to remind him all the time of the love she had for him. To support him in his darkest times. 
From the simple things, like cuddling him until he finally felt something, to cooking him something and making sure he ate every last bite no matter how long it took him. She was there when the world just felt like too much for him. 
Marcus stared off into space, seemingly out of it. Y/n had been talking to the boy, he could see her lips forming the words, but couldn’t hear what they produced. All of a sudden it’s like every person walking past the pair had their eyes glued to him, staring at him. The murmuring of students talking amongst themselves somehow seemed to get louder. The squeaking of their beat-up sneakers meeting the shiny linoleum floor sounded at max volume. It’s as if all at once he was hearing everything and nothing at all. His heart seemed to ache, and clench, his throat feeling as if it was closing up, losing his ability to breathe in oxygen. His eyes clamped shut, hands flying to his ears trying to stop the loud chaotic noises which flowed through them. He took in deep gasps of air trying to regulate his breathing. “One, two, three, four, five.” He murmured, his face stuffed into his legs which he’d pulled toward his chest. 
“What’d you say?” Y/n turned to the boy, she had been ranting about family problems, as she looked into the distance. 
Her eyes were met with the boy huddled, panic radiating off of him in waves. How could she have not noticed he had been having a panic attack? “Oh god, Marcus, hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, look at me bub, okay?” She told him, her hands lifting his head to face her. Tears welled up in the boy's eyes, as he silently wished he could just disappear, as he continued to take deep shaky breaths in, the more he tried to regulate his breathing the more erratic his heartbeat got. 
Y/n brought her hands to Marcus' face, gently caressing his jaw in soothing circular motions. “Focus on me honey, everything’s gonna be okay.” She said calmly, nodding her head to him.  She gently grasped his hand, placing his hand against her wrist, “Squeeze my wrist, feel my heartbeat..” Her other hand moved to clasp the back of his neck. 
Marcus's breathing had somewhat slowed, however, it was still beating quite fast, “Bub, I want you to tell me five things you can see, okay?” 
The boy nodded quickly, “The- the lockers
, my-my shoes, that b-blue recycling bin, an old book 
- on the floor, a p-poster.” He took a deep breath, stuttering out his answers, continually trying to calm himself.
“Good, okay, you’re doing great baby, now tell me four things you can feel,” She said his hand now being held in one of hers.
“I c-can feel the cold AC, the hard brick wall b-behind me, y-your
 h-hand in mine, the material of m-my hoo-... hoodie.” He let out.
“I’m so proud of you, you’re amazing bub,” She responded placing a kiss on his hand, “Now give me 3 things you can hear, okay,” 
He inhaled a deep breath, before exhaling, “A locker being s-shut, laughing, and
 m-music.”
“Good, you’re doing even better baby, now 2 things you can smell, okay,”
“Y-your perfume, and oranges
” He says, letting out a deep sigh.
“Now, 1 thing you can taste,”
“I can’t taste shit right now, Y/n/n” he lets out a laugh, burying his head into the crook of her neck. 
“Alright, alright,” She giggled, running her hands through his brown strands of hair.
Marcus let out another deep sigh, continuing to nuzzle his face deep into his girlfriend’s neck, taking in the scent of her comforting perfume, his breathing much less erratic. 
“Better?”
“Yeah..” He whispers, voice shaky still. 
The bell rang as the couple sat in the hall still, wrapped in their own little bubble, Y/n trying to protect Marcus from the world.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
However, it had come to the point where Y/n’s sole focus was Marcus and nothing else. Not herself, not her school work. She was so deeply in love with the boy, she’d truly do anything for him.
These past few weeks had been especially hard on both, Y/n and Marcus. It was the 1 year anniversary of Marcus's best friend's death. 
Marcus laid in bed most days, not having been to school for more than a week. Something as simple as brushing his teeth seemed to be too difficult of a task to do.
He felt completely and utterly alone no matter how much Y/n tried to hug him so tightly he’d feel her immense love for him.
Y/n hadn’t been feeling the best either, to be honest. Trying to be positive for Marcus all the time was draining her. Seeing him so depressed and lacking motivation seemed to be taking quite a toll on her, leaving her feeling useless, not being able to help her boyfriend, no matter how desperately she wanted to.
Most days she spent twisting and turning all night, exhausted but unable to sleep. Her mornings consisted of drinking coffee to give her some form of energy throughout the day and covering her under-eye bags with hefty amounts of concealer. 
Y/n sat at the lunch table, barely able to keep her eyes open. Continuously shutting them, then having to practically pry them open, “You alright, Y/n/n?” Abby questioned the girl which looked anything but alright.
“M’fine,” She responded, plastering a false smile on her lips that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Abby nodded in response, obviously not believing the girl. 
“How’s Marcus been doing?” The redhead decided to ask. 
“Not so good, I just wish there was something I could do to help him. It’s the worst he’s been in a while, and I try and try, but nothing seems to help,” She shakes her head in disappointment at herself.
“Maybe he just needs some space to heal on his own
?” 
“I don’t want him to think I don’t care about him anymore or, or worse, that I’ve stopped loving him because of some mental illness.” 
Abby nodded, saying nothing more, and just being there for her friend.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
By the end of the school day, Y/n wasn’t feeling too well but decided she’d stop by Bluefarm and get Marcus his favorite dish from the restaurant in another feeble attempt at trying to somewhat cheer the boy up, or at least motivate him to sit up and eat, he was skinny already, and had been getting thinner as the days went on.
Y/n opened the front door to the Baker household and walked in. She and Marcus had been dating for a little over a year, and most days she was at his house, which was basically a second home to her. 
Ellen had even given her a key. Y/n entered the house and is met with Max sprawled out on the couch in the living room, scrolling on her phone. 
“Hey, Max, any changes?”
“Nope, nada, zilch.” 
“I even offered to show him my old cringy TikTok’s. He didn’t even respond!” She shrugged.
She silently nodded, turning and rolling her eyes at the girl, like cringy TikTok’s were gonna magically cure her twin brother's crippling depression. At times Y/n felt bad for Marcus, him having to take the backseat all the time due to his sister always having to be the center of attention.
The girl made her way upstairs to check on Marcus. Walking in she was met with his mess of a room, and him lying in bed which had become his permanent spot as of recently.
“Hey bub, I brought you your favorite!” Y/n cheerily told the boy, slightly wiggling the bag at him.
The boy’s worn-out brown eyes burned into the wall behind her. The only response she received was him turning to face the opposite side of his bed, away from Y/n. She let out a quiet sigh, setting the food down on Marcus's side table. Her eyes glanced over the mess of the room, figuring she might as well try and clean up his room a little while she was there. 
Y/n began grabbing the clothes that were haphazardly thrown around the room, and placing them in the hamper. After she began grabbing all the trash in the room, which ranged from old soda cans to bags of chips which she didn’t even want to know how long they’d been there for. The trash made a noise as they fell into the trashcan causing Marcus to turn and look at what his girlfriend was doing. 
“What are you doing?” He questioned in a monotone voice, almost sounding like a statement rather than a question.
Y/n looked up, a smile growing on her face at the boy speaking. “Trying to tidy up your room for you, Y’know maybe it'll make you feel a little better, being in a clean space-” 
“Can you just not, Y/n
 I don’t need you to clean my room for me, okay?” The girl silently nodded at the boy who seemed to be a little upset at her for trying to help him. 
“Did you hear when I said I got you Bluefarm?”
“Yes, I heard you the first time Y/n, I’m not deaf like my dad.” The boy said with a bite to his tone, even mustering the ability to roll his eyes at her. Marcus wasn’t exactly sure as to why he was acting like such a dick. Maybe it had to do with Y/n always being there, he didn’t have any space for himself. No time to deal with his depression by himself, and people always crowding him, pushing themselves onto him. He just needed time. It especially irritated him when Y/n did things like this, doing everything for him. He felt like a fucking useless baby. 
“Okay,” Y/n murmured quietly, pursing her lips.
“Well, uh, do you want me to get anything for you, water? Or-” 
“No, can you just stop Y/n, I- I don’t want your help okay? I’m not a fucking useless child, stop treating me like one. God, if I wanted you here, I would’ve texted you, okay? If -if I had wanted to talk to someone I would’ve called my fucking therapist, so can you just leave, okay, I don’t want you here. I just wanna be by myself for a little, but clearly, that’s too fucking much to ask of you.” He angrily spat at the girl. 
Y/n’s eyes widened more and more at each sentence that left the boy's mouth. She nodded, not knowing what to say. She turned before he could see the tears forming in her eyes, quickly running down the stairs and out of the house, without uttering a word to anyone. 
She slammed the door to her car, and it was as if it was a dam breaking. The salty tears streamed down her face, warming her cheeks. All she had wanted was to be there for him, help him. But he clearly didn’t want her help. She had gotten that now.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
Y/n woke up the next morning her eyes swollen, and aching. She laid in bed, not going to school that day. She didn’t feel like dealing with anyone today. The night before she had come home a mess, still crying silently. Her parents immediately knew something had happened with Marcus, Y/n rarely cried like this, they had given her space and told her she could stay home for the next few days if she wanted. 
She let out a sigh, Marcus's words from last night still on repeat in her brain. She got up, slapping some water on her face, before going downstairs to her kitchen, wrapped up in the warmth of her comforter. She grabbed a pint of her favorite ice cream before settling on the couch in the living room, creating a nest for herself. She turned the TV on to watch Scooby-Doo in an attempt to take her mind off things. 
She had gotten a couple of texts from Abby, all asking why she wasn’t at school or where she was, however, she couldn’t be bothered to respond, shutting her phone off.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
Y/n hadn’t been to school or visited Marcus in a few days, leaving Marcus to feel guilty for saying the cruel things he had. He did need space, but he shouldn’t have told her it the way he did. The space had left him missing Y/n, but it also made him realize how dependent he was on her, and her on him. After the weeks he’d spent bathing in this deep depression he finally felt a little better. His mind felt somewhat clear now, not as lost and muddled as before. He got up and took a shower, the first shower in a few days which he was sort of ashamed of. The shower was good for him, helping him feel better. He changed his bedsheets, before returning to his bed. He had gotten up, and showered, he figured that was more than enough progress in a day than he had made in a while. 
His phone dinged with a message from Abby, which read, “Hey, has Y/n been to visit you? She hasn’t been to school in a couple of days now. She’s not responding to my texts
 whenever I go over her parents always tell me she’s sleeping. I’m worried about her.” 
Marcus wasn’t sure how to respond to the message, clearly, this had something to do with him going off on Y/n. “No, I kind of went off on her a few days ago. I didn’t mean to, I was just frustrated and took it out on her.” He typed.
Another text came in, “After everything she’s done for you, Marcus? Really? God, guys are so dumb. Did you apologize?”
“No
 I know I need to but I just needed some space
” He sent.
“Well, now you’ve got it, huh.”
Abby was right, he was dumb. 
Marcus sighed, he knew he had to go apologize to Y/n however he just couldn’t bring himself to get out of his bed again. He had decided he’d go the next day and make things right.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
Marcus had done it. He was out of his bed and stood on the steps of Y/n’s house. It was around the middle of the day, and he could see her parent’s cars were nowhere in sight, meaning Y/n was the only one home.
He rang the doorbell, expecting to hear footsteps, something, however, he was met with silence. He stood there for a few seconds, reaching up to ring the doorbell once again. And once again, silence. So, he rang the doorbell, again, again, again, and again. He knew Y/n was stubborn but so was he, and he wouldn’t leave until she at least answered the door. 
He heard feet stomping toward the door, finally, he thought. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” The girl practically ripped the door from its hinges, her voice dripping in anger and annoyance. When her eyes met his her eyes widened as did his. His beautiful girlfriend stood wrapped in a blanket, her hair a mess atop her head and eyes bloodshot red, lips chapped. The girl attempted to slam the door on him, but he stopped it with his foot in between the door and the frame.
“Bub, please.” He pleaded.
“You wanted space Marcus, I’m giving you space.” She responded, her voice slightly raspy. She pushed his foot out, closing the door, and trotted off angrily. Y/n knew technically she had no right to be angry at Marcus, but it was either that or feeling bad for herself, and she had enough of the latter. He wanted space, so he was gonna get it and maybe it’d be good for her as well.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
Y/n had returned to school the day after, she hated getting behind on work. Marcus wasn’t anywhere to be seen. However, Y/n was surprised to see him at school the following day, immediately darting off in the opposite way of his direction. She ignored him like the plague.
Marcus had had enough space it had been almost a week of Y/n ignoring Marcus. He had tried everything to try and catch her at school to talk, but she always somehow managed to slip away from him. He figured she had needed space as well so he respected that, but he was tired of this. 
Marcus once again stood outside of Y/n’s house, this time he had a different approach, an approach he was quite used to using. The window, it never failed him. He had successfully climbed the tree by her window, attempting to pull the window. Which listened, being pulled up. Success, he thought. He stumbled into the girl's room, once a common occurrence. 
The girl looked up hearing the crash of something, pulling one of her headphones out, as she glanced up quickly before returning to her homework. Wait a minute- she looked up again, Marcus. 
A sigh escaped her lips, returning her headphone to her ear. Just ignore him, give him space, she thought to herself.
“Y/n please, are you seriously going to ignore me, when I’m standing right in front of you, talking to you.”
Silence.
He walked to her bed, and sat in front of her, as she continued to work on her homework. Reaching up to her ear, he pulled one of her earbuds out. 
“Marcus, stop it.” 
“Come on y/n/n, can we just talk, please.” He said, gesticulating as he spoke.
She snatched her earbud from him as he spoke, placing it back in her ear. 
“Are you serious right now?” He questioned.
Her eyes remained glued to her homework. This time he grabbed both of the earbuds, shoving them into his pocket. 
“Marcus, seriously, you’re beginning to piss me off.” She muttered through clenched teeth.
“Good at least I can get something out of you other than silence.” He replied. 
“Get out. I want you to leave.” Marcus sat there for a second, “Now, Marcus.” Her tone became slightly higher in pitch as she got angrier by the second. 
“Y/n-”
“I’m trying to give you the space you so desperately want Marcus.” She said, getting up and marching toward her bedroom door. 
“I’m-” 
“Marcus, leave before I shove you out the fucking window, or worse get my dad.” The words flew from her mouth harshly. 
He swallowed as she gripped the door knob. His eyebrows pulled together, unsure of what to do. 
“Pease, y/n/n,”
She turned to open the door, but before she could leave he pulled her against him, and into an embrace. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whispered to her.  
Y/n froze for a second, missing the feeling of his arms around her, but she broke out of those thoughts, shoving him off of her, “You don’t want to leave fine then, I’ll leave,” She said. She hastily made her way downstairs, Marcus, following behind her, no longer caring if her dad saw him. She walked past her parents in the living room, sliding her slippers on that were strewn by the front door, beginning to walk out and onto the driveway. It must’ve begun sprinkling while they had been in Y/n’s room, feeling small droplets falling on their skin.
“Y/n, where are you going!” 
“Away from you Marcus! Did it occur to you that maybe you’re not the only one who needs space!” She said walking into the street, she wasn’t sure where she was going, but she knew it was away from him. The boy that had hurt her deeply, after she tried and tried to help him. After she put him and his needs, and wants, before her very own. 
As she stomped away from the boy, rain began to pelt down harder. 
“Y/n, I’m sorry, okay! I’m an asshole! I don’t know what more you want from me!” He shouted over the rain.”That’s the problem, Marcus!” She shouted back, wiping her wet hair away from and out of her face. Marcus gazed at the girl, his eyebrows drawn in confusion.
“I- I love you, Marcus, so much!” She continued to yell over the rain, “I do everything and anything you want, to make you happy, to help you! But it’s like, you don’t even notice it, you don’t appreciate it! And fine, that’s okay, I can accept that because I love you! You ask for space, I give you space! I want space, and you can’t respect that! You- you climb through my window and invade my space! I would never speak to you again, Marcus, if that’s what you wanted, no matter how much it would pain me to do, I’d do it! I just- sometimes I think I love you too much for my own good! I love you more than I love myself! But, I don’t care! I just- I want to know that you love me, as much as I love you! That you truly missed me, my presence! Because, sometimes it feels like you don’t, Marcus!” She sniffled, her tears mixing with the rain, the pair shivering in the cold of the rain. 
Marcus remained quiet as he took in his girlfriend's words.
“I-” Y/n’s voice was shaky and raspy, “I know you struggle with your depression and anxiety, and I know that I’ll never know what that’s like, and If I could I would take all that away, so you wouldn’t have to go through all that, Marcus! Believe me, I would do it, in a heartbeat, but I can’t.. So I’m here! Here when you need me! Here when you want me! Here when you don’t need me! It’s draining, Marcus! I’m- I’m so tired! This most recent state of yours, I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried about you! Because I always put myself before you! And it’s not your fault, I don’t want you to think that this is on you or your depression, because it’s not, it’s me! I can’t stop loving you! I- I can’t stop needing you! I can’t stop being there for you! I don’t even know who I am without you! I’m- I’m nothing
 without you!” Y/n sobbed, her hands clasped against her head, frustrated with herself, teeth beginning to chatter.
Marcus couldn’t tell if the droplets on his face, were from tears or the rain, or both.
“Maybe, maybe, we’re not meant to be together Marcus, because this
 it’s not healthy. I didn’t want to admit it but
 I depend on you too much. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. You deserve someone, someone who’s not so clingy. Someone who can truly help you through your depression, who can help you stay afloat. Someone better than me.” Y/n spoke, her throat beginning to ache from all the shouting over the rain. 
Marcus walked toward the girl, grasping her face in his hands, “I love you, Y/n. I love you with every fiber in my being, I- I would do anything for you, trust me. You don’t know how much you mean to me. And I’m- I’m so sorry I never showed you how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate you. I- I depend on you maybe even more than you depend on me because you’re right. You’re always there for me, and I love you so much for that. You hear me Y/n, I love you, so fucking much, and I’d be lost without you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice how exhausted you’ve been. I’m sorry for being such a dick. I’m sorry for not showing you how much I appreciate you, love you, missed you. You’re the one who deserves so much more Y/n. Because you are more than enough for me, you could have had any guy you wanted, but you chose me. I’m so grateful for that, and I’ll start showing you more, I promise.” He said caressing her face in his hands, as she sniffled.
“I love you, Y/n, and I swear to god, if you give me another chance, I’ll do better, I promise. Please, please don’t give up on us.” His voice broke, “ I know we may not have the most healthy relationship, but I don’t care. I love you, you love me, that’s all that matters. We can fix this, and continue to grow together and separately and still be together, please bub. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that, I will never, never do that again. I’ll talk to you more about how I’m feeling, I’ll start seeing my therapist more often, I’ll do anything.” Marcus cried as the rain continued to pour down.
Y/n nodded, sniffles still coming from the girl. 
Marcus pulled her into a tight hug, almost squeezing the life out of her, Y/n returning the tight embrace, clinging to him. Tears silently streamed down both their faces. The pair stood in silence under the rain which had slowed to a light drizzle. Marcus pulled away from the embrace after a few minutes. He gazed into Y/n’s eyes, which he loved so much and that returned the same fond gaze before pulling her into a kiss. They couldn’t remember the last time they’d kissed, let alone a kiss like this one filled with love and fervor. As the couple pulled away from the kiss gently, eyes catching a rainbow in the distance.
“I love you, Marcus Baker.” Y/n sniffled.
“I love you more, Y/n Y/l/n.” He grinned at the girl in his arms.
ă€‚ïŸŸâ˜†: *.☜ .* :☆
A/N- I don’t really know how to feel about this
 but anyways I probably didn’t depict depression properly because I don’t know what it’s like. But I hope I did somewhat okay? Also that anxiety thing, I just know that wouldn’t do shit for me. When I have panic attacks they just gotta happen and somehow I just eventually calm down, idk 😂
I don’t know why the ending keeps getting like cut off by tumblr somehow 😭
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jadeleechsupportgroup · 4 months ago
Text
chocolate
lilia being an emotional support bat dad.
cw: panic attack, mental breakdown, depression, grief.
Maybe it’s cause I grew up in a desert. It’s common to find other biomes more exciting than your own. I usually gravitate to the ocean - beaches, salt in the air, still warmed by the sun since I’m no good in the cold. Ever since I moved, though, I think more about forests.
It’s really beautiful in the fall, when the aspens light themselves on fire, searing golden and magenta streaks among the black evergreens. The chilly mountain wind that whispers the coming of winter on the back of my neck. I’m cold as fuck.
“I did not expect to find you here again.”
I’m sitting on the forest floor, mud soaking into my pants, creeping in after it’s already engulfed my boots. Staring into the infinite distance, like I might spot a deer. The slick leaves aren’t the best seat cushion.
“You either.”
Lilia scuffs up some of the slop a few feet away until it’s loose enough for him to jam the magearm into it. The mud is thick and strong enough to hold the weapon upright when he lets go. It reminds me of the time he made coffee-flavored cake batter with, like, a pound of corn starch because it was “basically the same as powdered sugar,” and it solidified so much that I snapped the spoon in half trying to extract it from the muck. A smile taps at the corner of my mouth.
“What?”
I keep staring at nothing as he sits down next to me. “Lucky it’s not a wooden spoon.”
“Ah, of course, my famous mocha rocky road cake.”
“Complete with actual rocks. And probably pieces of road.”
He ruffles my hair before sitting down next to me.
I twist to reach back behind him, and I watch him tense proactively, ever the fighter, ever prepared for a world that no longer exists. His eyes follow the path of my hand and then flick back to my face. I wrap his ponytail around a few fingers and sweep it forward over his shoulder.
“So it doesn’t get muddy,” I explain.
“Hm.” Lilia pulls the length of hair into one of his own hands and studies the ends of it. “I never thought about that.” He lifts his gaze to the gray sky, framed by flakes of gold leaf and dark pines. “Why do you keep coming back here?”
My heart trips over the question. “Why do you?” I ask, because I have no comeback.
“I asked you first.”
Now that it’s been unseated, my heart quivers uncomfortably in my chest. “Thinking.” It threatens to tighten up the way it does when I’m about to cry. “Thinking a lot, lately.”
Lilia makes a sound of affirmation. “Understandable.” He looks back down at his hands, no longer seeing the black and red ribbons of hair woven around his fingers. No, I can see it on his face. He’s seeing black and red of a different kind. Stains that soaked through his gloves and skin and down into his bones.
“Your turn.”
He blinks his way out of it. “Mm
I suppose I find myself thinking a lot lately, too.”
“Great. Good talk.” It has a sharper edge than I intended.
But he smiles before I can apologize. “I worry about you, little one. My memories are not a place meant for mortal feet to tread.”
“Heh. The inside of your head’s a lot fucking better than mine.” I bend my legs so I can rest my elbows on my knees. The undersides of my calves and thighs are cold. “At least your shit’s already over.”
“Is it?” Lilia gazes at me as if gazing through me, as if I’m the ghost, making him question whether this is a dream or a memory or merely the hope for one. As if I’m the one forcing him to live in the past. Maybe I am. What a piece of shit. “I scarcely allowed myself to even think of a time when that might be true.”
My eyes and nose start to sting. I sniffle and am rewarded with the acrid bitterness of wildfire smoke shoved down my throat. A remnant of a time when it wasn’t the trees lighting themselves aflame with fall colors and raking burning claws down the mountains’ slopes, when it wasn’t a misty autumn day, or if it was, you’d never know it because of the thick clouds of death churning in the sky. “Same. Except I know it will never be over for me.” Different sniffles now. “Not til the very end.”
Lilia clasps my upper arm as if to anchor me before I can drift away. I wait for him to counter my words with wisdom, for a lecture about hope or attitude or what the fuck ever that I’ve heard so many times already.
The concept of ‘hope’ has bothered me for a long time. It laughs in the face of reality. Some things are left to chance or possibility, but some things aren’t. Some things are inevitable. Some things just really fucking suck.
He doesn’t say anything right away, just holds on to me as a tornado of panic abruptly unravels me and tries to rip me away to fling me into the sky. I know a lot about tornadoes, actually. I know a pretty decent amount about panic, too.
“Start counting.” Lilia doesn’t lapse back into his commanding officer voice very often, but it’s not the kind of thing you say no to.
My voice is a tangled mess of knots strangling my heart. I hold on to him and try to remember what numbers are.
“I s- s-see- um, trees, and
leaves-” That’s as far as I can get without a sob cracking me in half. That was only two. I need five. “
dirt and
sticks
?” Running out of ideas, I glance over his shoulder. “Big green rock.”
“Mhm. Next.” Same intense, unwavering voice.
“Uh
h-hear
leaves rustling, and
um
wind
” My heart seizes again like I’ve been stabbed, a silent shriek of agony that won’t let me go. A bit of it snaps off and escapes as a thin, painful whine. I can’t keep going. I can’t.
“And?”
Humming. He’s humming.
I grasp for another breath. “Your singing.”
“Good. Three is fine. What else?”
I tighten my fingers around a clump of wet, dead leaves. Leaves were the answer to everything today. “Feel cold
mud. Fabric.” I think about the texture of the cloak over his shoulders. Hand-woven, strong. Softer than you might expect. When did he start hugging me? I don’t remember that happening.
“Very good,” he says soothingly. “What can you smell?”
I burrow my face into his arm and inhale sharply. Smoke. Oil. Dirt. Old blood. “Rain. Rain and
” I frown a little, opening one eye in suspicion. “ 
sugar?”
Lilia laughs, low and quiet. “Here.” He touches something smooth and cold to my lips.
I tuck it into my mouth and let it melt. “Chocolate.”
“Indeed.”
Lilia never lets go of a hug first. He always waits until I’m ready. Sometimes I feel like that will never happen, but eventually, I do feel a little lighter. A little less crushed. I wait til the chocolate has melted into a thin coating before I pull away.
“Better?”
I nod. I’m still crying - the cold air makes the tears sting - but I can feel the spike of pain retreating. It takes a few breaths to get my voice back under control. “Father’s Day was hard.” Saying it aloud relieves more of the pressure. It’s really annoying that therapy actually works.
Lilia nods. “The weight of our grief mirrors the depths of our love.”
I look down and gently close my eyes. Still raining. “It’s not just what I lost, it’s
it didn’t need to be that way. So many things didn’t need to happen. He didn’t
” My voice gets so soft it cracks. “
he didn’t need to die. And I’m so afraid that I’ll only remember the last couple years, all the bad shit, how rotten it all was, and
and the good memories will fade, and
I won’t
” I hiccup.
“Now, now,” Lilia chides me. “Some version of you knows better than that.”
“Yeah.”
“So perhaps we should listen to her.”
I hesitate. “
I guess.”
“Because she is the smartest person I know.”
I snort. That snaps me out of it. I look up and wipe my eyes a few times. “It’s true, it’s all true. You would all be lost without me.”
Lilia’s eyes have always intrigued me. The color shift must be an age thing, dark red when he’s younger, softening to raspberry pink as he gets older and lighter and sillier. At this point he’s somewhere in between. “They would,” he says quite seriously. “They really would.”
He lets it linger in the air between us before cracking a smile and giving my shoulder a playful shove. “Big green rock, huh?”
“Well, look at it and tell me that’s not what you see!” I cry with a gesture at his magearm.
“I cannot argue with such profound reasoning.”
“Damn right you can’t.” I stretch a bit before trying to stand. Lilia doesn’t quite spring to his feet so much as he floats up and lands delicately on the toes of his boots, then he reaches down to help me up. I brush my pants off the best I can, but I will be doing laundry later. “Ugh. Wet mud
this shit’s like superglue.”
“Precisely why I prefer the beach.” Lilia lifts his chin with closed eyes and draws a breath deep enough to pull in traces of distantly salty air. “Perhaps we could meet there next time?” he suggests.
“Perhaps.” Next time. There always has to be a next time, right? But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. If I have to have these dark days - if they’re going to happen no matter what - then I have to make it through them to get to the next good thing. The next day at the beach. The next questionable baking attempt. The next piece of chocolate.
“Good. It does get exhausting lugging this thing around.” Lilia glances down at the magearm where it sticks out of the mud. “No offense,” he adds apologetically.
“I’m sure it’s just glad to not be used as a kitchen knife again.” I snicker at the memory.
“What was I supposed to do!” Lilia cries indignantly as we walk away, leaving his weapon and all its memories in the thick of the forest. It gets warmer the further out of the woods we get. His eyes flash brighter in the breaking sun. “Nothing else was sharp enough to cut the cake!”
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sorrinslays · 6 months ago
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OKOK SO IDK IF YOU'VE DONE ANY POST LIKE THIS BUT
What do you think a 5 star Sampo would be like? Both in lore/personality, and in design or even kit! Hell, maybe how he is introduced as his 5 star version would be cool to think of too. I want more opinions on this, and the idea of his 5 star version makes me more and more excited
Hello anon!!! So, I have talked about it a bit while reblogging @feroluce's post about 5* Sampo ideas but I don't mind elaborating on my thoughts a bit more.
In that post, the idea of Sampo having a 'stage hand' inspired abilities/design was presented and I fell in love with it, so a lot of my thoughts are inspired by it.
First and foremost, I think he would have the fire element as a five star. I've seen a lot of people wanting him to be Quantum, but honestly it doesn't speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not a fan of the Quantum element in general, I don't know.
I think fire suits him for a variety of reasons, but most importantly, it creates contrast. I'd like to start by mentioning that fire is eye catching, going against his theme of the stage hand, a background entity. Can you imagine? Aha creating Sampo to be eye catching, giving him powers that are meant to be viewed, admired. Sampo being created to be the center of attention, yet he goes against all that. Preferring to stay in the shadows and watch everything unfold from a distance.
I like to think that his design is dark, full of cool colours and drenched in black, showing that he himself wants to blend in with the background and his element being the exact opposite. Him going against his 'nature' you could say. Against his purpose.
If we want to look a bit deeper we can go two ways. Firstly, fire represents enlightenment, self-awareness, rebirth, and rebellion which (if we follow my headcannon of Sampo being a Creation of Elation turned Emanator) would suit him a lot. Enlightenment when he understood the real meaning behind Elation. Self-awareness showing that he understands what he is, what he wants to achieve and how. Rebirth as in leaving the Masked Fools and their flawed view of Elation. Rebellion because he goes against his Aeon, his creator.
Furthermore, it's be nice to see how a character like Sampo would respond to having Aha as a "parent"/creator. The struggle of sharing an ideology yet trying to distance himself from his creator. His appearance being the complete opposite of his powers would be a cool way to show how he resists Aha's view of Elation.
As for his playable path... I want to keep him Nihility. The path of IX is very similar to the Elation at it's core. Both believe that the universe has no meaning, THEY just respond to it differently. Where IX does nothing because there's no point in doing anything, Aha acts in a way that would entertain only THEMSELVES.
Alternatively, it'd be nice if Hoyo made the Elation a playable path only for Sampo's 5* design. It'd be mad funny but also on theme with how meme-y hsr really is.
Now, for his clothing. Like mentioned previously cool tones and dark clothing is the way to go. But, to elaborate more on that I think there's specific parts of his original 4* design that I would like to keep, like his jacket that looks like a ring leader's jacket, just in a different colour and with other accessories/details.
The snake symbolism should stay as well, I think. It's be nice that instead of snake bones it would be leather and shit, to show that it's "alive", that he's back to being an active Emanator.
I also really like the idea of him having two sets on hands that at his fingertips end in different colours that was proposed by the original post I linked earlier. The first set fading to white and the second to black showing how one set is pulling the strings in the background while the other is the one everyone sees.
I think his mask should rest on top of his head like Sparkle's, a plain red thing contrasting with his blue hair and dark clothing, another contrast to Aha.
Personality-wise I think he would be pretty much the same, expect less greedy and money-driven. I don't know, I feel like that's a part of Sampo Koski's personality, not his, if that makes sense.
If you want a bit more on how 5* could work in my mind in the story I recommend you read my post on Gepard's role in the story, although it's mostly about Gepard I managed to sneak in a few thoughts on Emanator Sampo because of course I did
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rayslittlekitten · 1 year ago
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I Almost Told You That I Loved You Ch. 17
Chapter 16 | IATYTILY Masterlist | Chapter 18
A/N: I am anticipating maybe five more chapters of this. That might be overshooting but I haven't fleshed out the ending ending yet.
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,537
Pairing: Jax Teller x F! reader
Plot: This takes place shortly after Tara leaves Charming. You start working at Teller-Morrow and an unlikely and messy relationship forms between you and Jax.
Warnings: mentions of emotional abuse?
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Your car’s been acting up again. There is something rattling but other than that, the car seems to be running okay. No concerning lights are on, on the dashboard. You make a note to have someone check it out for you at TM tomorrow while you’re at work. Right now, you just need to make it home from school.
As you’re waiting at a red light, you feel and hear a motorcycle rumbling nearby. Instinctually, you look around for it and see one pulling up into the intersection perpendicular to you. Your stomach drops when you see Jax with a woman hugging him tightly from behind. Jax looks over his shoulder with a big smirk on his face. She leans in to kiss him and he kisses back.
*HOOOOOONK*
The person behind you leans on their horn, startling you and breaking Jax and his passenger apart. You floor it, hoping you can speed past them and he wouldn’t recognize you. Before Jax could realize what all the commotion is about, the woman distracts him again, pulling his attention back to her.
***
You haven’t talked to Jax since Sunday night and you’re still not sure what was bothering him, but you have a suspicion. He thinks he’s so complex and mysterious, but you’ve learned his habits and his antics are getting old really quick.
“Hey Ope, can you please get someone to take a look at my car? It’s making a weird noise.”
“Uh, sure. I’ll have Jax take a look,” Opie replies.
“Jax is shit at fixing cars,” you tell him. “Can you get Kai to do it instead?”
“I don’t know. We have a pretty tight schedule today.”
“Excuse me?”Jax strolls in from behind you and Opie. “Oh, please, Kai doesn’t know what to do with a car like yours.”
“I’m sure Kai can fix a goddamn spaceship if they existed,” you scoff at him.
Jax looks back at you for a moment with furrowed brows. 
“What the hell? Is it that time of the month or something? Why the fuck are you copping an attitude with me?” He steps up to you.
Your eyes widen and a chuckle slips out of you.
“Are you serious? First off, fuck you. Secondly, you have the nerve to act like you weren’t acting strange Sunday night? You barely said bye to me before leaving,” you tell him.
“I told you, I wasn’t feeling well,” Jax shoves his hands into his pockets of his coveralls and shrugs.
Opie starts backing away and disappearing in the background without saying a word. This is no longer about your car and he doesn’t want to be involved.
“Oh, really? You must have felt much better yesterday having a little joyride with your newest thrill of the week,” you reply.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jax shakes his head and shrugs. He didn’t even blink.
“Jax, you can cut the bullshit. I saw you and that blonde yesterday, making out at the red light!”
Jax shifts his weight, his eyes redirect themselves to the concrete ground. 
“Were you upset on Sunday because of what Luann asked me? About me staying or leaving for a new school?” you ask with arms crossed.
Jax lets out an exasperated sigh as he shifts his weight back to his other feet, looking away from you. His jaw twitches.
“And is that also why you went and buried your dick in someone else again?”
He scoffs, a smirk playing on his face.
“I don’t know if you did it to try to hurt me and put distance between us or if it’s your way to cope with your feelings, but if I’m going to be your girlfriend, this can’t keep happening,” you state.
“Girlfriend?” he chuckles and finally makes eye contact with you again. “Where’d you get that crazy idea from?”
You look back at him confused. You know the two of you technically never made it official, but he’s acting like you both didn’t have a conversation about it the other day.
“Oh, do you mean what we talked about last week? I didn’t ask you to be my girlfriend. I asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend,” he continues. 
“And I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” he sneers.
You want to slap that smug look off his face.
“You must think your pussy is that special, huh?” he laughs.
This isn’t new to you. It’s all flowers and hand holding one day and then completely ghosting you the next. The constant back and forth, giving and taking, making you feel loved and then making you feel undeserving. And in all that, the real winner is blaming it all on you. It’s always your fault. You should have known better. Why did you piss him off? Look what you made him do. But you’re not going to let the responsibility fall on you for this one. Not this time.
“Fuck you, Teller!” You growl and stalk away.
***
After clocking out, you walk out to the parking lot, you find Jax leaning on the driver’s side of your car having a smoke. You walk towards it and stop at a comfortable distance and glare at him. He notices you and pushes himself off your car. It’s been about a week of silent treatment from the both of you since the falling out.
“Hey,” Jax greets and then tosses his cigarette.
“Hey,” you reply flatly.
“Can we talk?”
“About?” you huff with crossed arms.
“Can we do this somewhere private?” His mouth twists.
You look at him, thinking about what you want to do.
“We can swing by and pick up some sandwiches,” he suggests with the slightest smile playing on his lips.
“Jax, I don’t know if–”
“I’m sorry for all the shit I said to you last time. You didn’t deserve that,” he cuts you off. 
You are a bit thrown off by his apology. 
“Did your moral compass steer you in the right direction again?” you ask sarcastically, wondering if he realized his behavior all on his own.
“Huh?” he asks, his brows knitted.
“Opie. I still don’t know how so completely different people are best friends,” you comment, your guard lowering a bit. “I don’t know if you realize he helps you out a lot.”
”Yeah, he’s a real one,” he nods, flashing a small smile. “That’s why he’s going to be my VP when the gavel gets passed down to me.”
“But no,” he shakes his head and then takes a step closer to you. “I know I fucked up and said some really fucked up things.”
He cautiously reaches out for your waist and pulls you in.
“I miss you.”
He leans in to kiss you, but you give him a gentle push, stopping him.
“No, Jax. That’s not how this works,” you tell him. “You can’t just do whatever you want, then apologize and assume everything is all good again.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, pulling back a bit. 
“I’m tired of getting punished for whatever Tara did to you,” you tell him. “And your jealousy problems especially when I’m not even your girlfriend.”
You notice a tick in his jaw. 
“You want to know what happened with me and Tara? Fine, I’ll tell you,” he states.
He gestures his head towards the clubhouse. You hesitate but then follow him. You and Jax end up on the roof where the two of you can have some privacy.
“Tara was the first girl I fell in love with and she broke my fucking heart when she left,” he starts to explain. “I really thought we were going to have this fairytale ending, just me and her against the world. She’d be my old lady while I run the club and we’d pop out a few kids, get a dog, white picket fence, the whole thing.”
He pauses, taking a long drag of his cigarette.
“She even talked about wanting to provide the life for our future children that she never got growing up but wanted. Her mom died when she was young, and her dad became a drunk. Still is, actually. I was going to take care of her, but it wasn’t good enough for her.”
He gently shakes his head as his jaw flexes again and a snarl starts forming. 
“Tara had nobody! I opened up my home, my club, my heart to her and how did she thank me? By leaving!” He barks.
“You have nobody!” your ex threw in your face. “Without me, you’d be nothing but a sad, pathetic little girl.”
“I wanted to hurt you before you could hurt me,” he confesses. “And that’s not fair to you.”
So the man does have a conscience and can be self-aware. You wonder what changed.
“I’m sorry.” He looks over at you and puts his hand over yours, squeezing gently. 
“I’m sorry, too. That you went through that heartache,” you sympathize.
“Can you forgive me?”
He seems sincere, but you’re taking it all in with a big grain of salt. You’ve heard this song and dance before too many times.
“Okay,” you finally nod and a smile splays across Jax’s face.
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drdemonprince · 11 months ago
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How do you tell the difference between perfectly reasonable bitch sessions about people processing their problems with others/groups, as opposed to having ended up in a clique? I've been in situations a few times in my life where I ended up in a friend group whose complaining about others made me feel very irritated and/or uncomfortable. But I can't tell whether that's a reasonable reaction or whether my own tendencies towards people-pleasing and toxic positivity.
I don't want to give in to a bad impulse to "play devil's advocate" or anything, but my internal reaction tends to be "well, at the moment I'd rather be with them than you" and start looking for chances to make more distance so I won't be privy to those discussions anymore. But then I worry that distancing myself from people because of unexpressed discomfort isn't the right thing to do either.
To further complicate the matter: I also criticize people behind their backs sometimes! I feel like it can contribute to less charged, more robust relationships with those around me. My tolerance for this in general has gone up a bit over the years, and now someone else is doing it about a person whose flaws I've also seen doesn't bother me nearly as much. I can't tell if that's reasonable, hypocritical, or a secret third thing. I feel like I do it with the intention of ultimately getting to know/deal with them better, but maybe that's just toxic positivity talking again.
TL;DR any tips for how to a) identify constructive vs. destructive talking about people behind their backs when I'm privy to it, and b) respond if it seems like the destructive kind?
I think the search for an over-arching rule of what should be acceptable here is the wrong tactic! Rather than worrying so much about whether what you are doing is okay, or hypocritical, or too devils-advocatey, or too fawning, or what's the optimal level and form of talking about other people to which you should permit in yourself and others.... please just let yourself actually trust how you feel! This is an interpersonal vibe issue and how you feel and what you want matters.
It annoys you to be around people who are super negative and judgmental toward others. You think the judgements this person is making of a third party are needless. Just say that! You don't have to have some grand unified theory of why it's not acceptable for them to speak in this way or some established rule set to justify how you feel. How you feel is the point! These are your relationships and you get to decide how you feel about them!
Here are some statements that are totally acceptable to say in this situation:
"I don't really like hearing you talking so negatively about people."
"Can we talk about something else? This is not interesting to me."
"I don't have any problem with them, let's move on."
"When you talk about other people like this, it makes me wonder how you see me."
"Yeah yeah I get it the picture, you don't like them. Played any good video games lately?"
Or, if they are insistent in continuing to complain about people or talk negatively in ways that you dislike and don't listen when you say it's unpleasant for you, you could just not hang out with this person! This is a very legitimate reason to not like somebody.
I had a partner for a while who would constantly talk shit about other people. I'm a hater in a great many ways so at first I thought it was fine. I'm used to people thinking I'm too analytical and too critical so sometimes being around negative people feels safe and accepting to me! And I love a good bitching sesh -- especially in person discussions about online people who are never gonna be hurt or affected by me privately talking shit with my friends.
But I noticed this person I was seeing constantly would pick apart every one else's flaws, including random people they'd only just met, while also complaining often about how they didn't get enough affection or attention themselves... it frankly disgusted me because they could not see that their shitty attitude toward others was the sole cause of their own isolation. I had to end things because it was so viscerally off-putting. This person was always perfectly nice to me. Very generous, affectionate, complimentary, and attentive. It didn't matter because I didn't like how they spoke about others and how much time they devoted to being petty. It was a huge turn off and it can be a massive friendship deal-breaker too. If you don't like it, you don't like it! that's enough.
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am-i-the-asshole-2 · 23 days ago
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aita(she/they) for talking too much about my girlfriend (they/them)?
ive been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and a few months now. and i've been part of this gc for way longer; there's around 14 people there and we are in differing levels of intimate with each other but technically, we're all friends.
unfortunately, we do fight a lot and everyone in the group, while we often get along with each other, we often fight too and long discussions are created. we often poke each others bear to purposefully make them crack.
ever since i started dating my girlfriend i've realized that having friendships that you constantly feel on edge in order to not piss them off and purposefully piss them off simultaneously isn't normal at all, and i've been hanging out more with my girlfriend and their friends.
their friends are super chill and super supportive of me, we have normal conversations and even nice discussions. so ive been hanging out on vc with them more than my friends. but im always active on the gc and always interacting with my friends.
because my gf gets overwhelmed in situations with a lot of people, they didn't enjoy hanging out with my friends on vc the one time they did; the vibes that my girlfriend is used to and what my friends are used to are completely different and don't really match. but ever since then my friends have been treating me differently, leading to way more infighting than usual.
apparently, my friends have been complaining about this constantly behind my back, with no explanation or reason as of why and the consensus just seems to be that "i talk about my girlfriend too much and been participating less in vcs", so some of my friends decided to distance themselves from me "in return" because of this.
supposedly they have been feeling like this ever since i started dating. and ever since i started dating, ive been way more paranoid and felt more isolated from my friends than ever. so idk how to feel to know that my friends have been purposefully treating me like shit and isolating me for talking too much about my girlfriend. i am neurodivergent, and so are my friends, but they never told me anything until i approached a close friend from the gc who told me all of this.
tldr: aita for hanging out with my girlfriend and her friends more often because they don't fight and are more welcoming than my old friends? aita for mentioning my girlfriend too much in conversations even though my gf is the friends with my friends?
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tc-doherty · 1 year ago
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The Basic Logic of Sword-Fighting
@caffeine-bee​ @outpost51​
The thing that you really need to know about writing fight scenes is that fighting is about control, and that control takes two routes. The 1st is controlling the distance between you and your opponent and the 2nd is controlling what moves your opponent can make.
Now both of these things sound very obvious, and most people probably even know them to some degree, but you don't necessarily think about what it actually means until you've done it. Knowing the names and specific poses of different attacks and guards is not nearly as important for an author as just understanding the logic behind them.
I’m putting it under a cut because it did get a bit long. But these really are just the basics. I included photos too ^__^
Controlling Distance:
Every weapon has a specific range that it's good in. If you’re too far away you won't be able to attack, and so what you need to do is try to lure your opponent in closer. If you get too close, then your primary weapon isn't going to be of any use offensively or defensively, and that's when you switch to grappling.
In a starting position you can have a bit of a length between you or you can have the tops of your swords being able to touch each other, you wouldn't want to be much closer than that to actually start something since most attacks require you to step forward.
This is a bit far, but still viable especially if you intend to bait (I talk about that later, for baiting you can start even further away than this but too far is still a hassle):
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This is slightly close, but still perfectly viable:
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Most fights are a bit of a give-and-take as attacks bring you slightly closer and guards take you slightly farther away, if you back off too far then one or the other of you will need to get closer in order to continue. And if you get too close it becomes a totally different style of fighting.
A lot of sword moves will end up with you being about this distance from each other, you can still attack well but you are just out of hand reach of your opponent:
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If you get too close say goodbye to your sword:
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I can also talk about close combat in more detail if you want to know. Grappling is definitely useful as a finishing move! As you can see from these pictures showing me getting my shit wrecked. I got too close, my opponent was able to gain control of my sword hand and then pull me in even closer to get me off balance before putting me on the ground (still with control of my sword hand). You can probably tell it would be really easy for them to slit my throat or stab me once they have me on the ground. It would also make sense for a confident opponent to switch to a dagger at this point in time because it would be harder for me to then regain control since it's smaller and faster.
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Restricting Movement:
Starting from a blank slate, there are a lot of attacks that an opponent can make. These are the cutting attacks that you can make in Bolognese sword fighting (+ you can also do a straight thrust forward, generally cuts are to the limbs and thrusts are to the torso but not always):
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How are you going to guard against that? You have no idea what they're going to do.
The purpose of the various guards and positions that fighters stand in is not only to defend themselves, but also to limit the options of their opponent.
If you stand in a certain position that makes all attacks from the right nonviable, then you’ve significantly narrowed the number of the things that you need to defend against.
Another very important thing that you can use to control your opponents movement is called baiting. Essentially you stand in a position that makes one particular attack seemed very tempting. You want to bait your opponent into doing that attack so that you can defend against it because you know exactly what they're going to do and you know exactly how to retaliate.
The natural response to that from a fighter who knows what they’re doing is to do a feint - pretend to do the attack the opponent is waiting for and then do something else. A feint will generally not be as deep or strong as a real attack because naturally you need to be able to pull out of it quickly to go for the attack you are actually intending to do.
You can also do what's called a beat, which is where you beat somebody’s sword out of the way with your own. It's possible to do this with so much force that you fling their arm completely out and leave their whole chest wide open. But if they’re waiting for you, they will be able to mitigate some of that. Beats can look very flashy though!
I mentioned in my other post that the top half of the sword would be sharpened and used for attacking while the bottom half is dull and used for blocking. The bottom half of the sword is called the strong, and the top half is called the weak. When you want to do a beat you have to make sure that you hit the weak of their sword, otherwise you won't get the momentum that you need. And you will usually hit it somewhere using the top middle of your sword or else you also won't get the momentum that you need. If all you do is push your opponent’s sword out of the way they can recover quickly, you really need a lot of force to throw it completely out of whack.
A beat will generally push your opponent's sword off to their dominant side, or down. Pushing it in front of their chest obviously isn't going to make it much easier for you, and if you push it up it's pretty easy to gain the momentum to turn that around into a descending attack.
There's not really any such thing as combos in an actual battle, but in training you generally do learn “if your opponent does attack A, you respond with defense B” and repeat it a million times so it becomes muscle memory. That’s why baits and feints can work so well, because you’re relying on the muscle memory of your opponent to be their undoing.
Fights in general have a give-and-take (again) as you and your opponent both try to trick each other into making a move that will be the most advantageous to respond to.
If you do want to know about specific kinds of move sets I can tell you about them! But knowing why things work should also make the choreography easier for you.
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dentist-brainsurgeon · 6 months ago
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All things considered yesterday was probably the best case scenario
The Good:
My sister didn't know that my brother and I were showing up so she got the double whammy surprise, she damn near fainted and cried lol. I gave her a massive hug and picked her up(I should not have done that, my weight limit is 20 pounds💀) had some bonding moments, I was apprehensive about seeing my brother considering the baggageâ„ąïžand just his non response to what I drew for him a few months back but to my surprise he played nice and did thank me for drawing that and we talked about nerd shit a lot, I had a Rusty from Armored Core keychain on me and he pointed it out and talked about what kits we like running in AC6. And since this was in Cali traffic was abysmal, I had forgotten how bad it was to get anywhere, so like 3 hours after the graduation came dinner Time, to the place we would always go to for celebrations, except they had a rebranding that sucks ass but w/e. My brother, dad and I all were chatting about nerd shit and after a time came gift time, and when she opened the gift I got her, she almost cried!! Bc it was something that had a lot of story behind it and incredibly hard to find(she also had a hard time looking for it for years!) We were all super excited and thrown back at what it was and she gave me a big teary eyed hug đŸ„ș and my brother gave me a fist bump and a hug about that too, so a BIG winner winner chicken dinner moment. While my mom wasn't paying attention my sister gave me her number!! And my brother wanted to be friends on discord (we'll see how that goes ig)
The bad:
My mom has not changed a bit, color me surprised. I never looked her in the eye and stiffened up any time she touched me and just gave very short flat answers any time she tried to talk to me, I didn't want to cause a scene(it's my sister's graduation so that was a big no no for me) and she made her very awful racist, sexist "statistically you should've been pregnant in high school and had your third kid by now(me), you should be in prison(my brother) and you should be on drugs(my sister)đŸ€ȘđŸ€ȘđŸ€Ș" joke(that really wasn't originally a "joke") and I mentioned to both my siblings how she hadn't changed a bit after all these years. During dinner time she ordered pizza n salad, and my sister wanted to order something, cuz y'know, ITS HER DAY, but mom wouldn't let her, I wanted to order her food for her but knowing mom, I didn't want it to be a problem at dinner or after dinner, so I ended up not ordering for my sister. Another thing, I don't remember what the conversation was, but my mom blurred out "oh you can't ruin my, I mean her day like that đŸ€Ș" and my sister looked so disgusted, and I gave her a knowing but reassuring look and nod, and not long after that my mom said once my sister turns 18 she's going to become a raging alcoholic and do lines of coke off a strippers dick amongst a lot of other crude statements that would be bad any other day but just downright awful oh her 17yo daughters graduation, absolutely deranged woman, and I gave my sister yet another knowing look. I can't wait til my sister gets out of there by any means necessary, I do hope this whole ordeal is a wake up call to both my siblings that maybe our one shared parent is just revolting and maybe they can distance themselves from her eventually. My sister is such a sweetie, she doesn't deserve this and it's such a shame no matter how much our mom can pretend and manipulate people into believing she's grown, she has not changed, not moved a centimeter and she's nearing 60 at this point
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