#so then his whole story fell apart and the reason he knew my name

[heavenknowsffs]

Met a guy called Great last night

[tropicalcryptid]

Ok so She-Ra pulled such a great hat trick with Hordak's characterization, and I LOVE it

One of my favorite things about 2018 She-Ra is Hordak's story and development (and Entrapdak cough but that's not the point of this particular post), and the cleverest thing is that so much of it is actually being set up and told to us in seasons 1 and 2 before we even realize that that's what's happening.

When we first see Hordak in the show, he's giving "generic evil overlord" vibes. Garden-variety baddie. Maybe a little more reasonable than some and clearly capable of long-term thinking, but that just serves to make him intimidating. Everything about him--the way he runs his empire, his armor, his color scheme, his minion, his Villainous Eye Makeup(TM), even his name--are all projecting to the audience "yup, Acme Bad Guy here. Move right along."

But then, backstory. And everything snaps into focus. Not only is it one of the first big oh SHIT moments of the show, where we suddenly zoom out and realize that there is SO much more going on than we realized--it's also the start of the audience seeing Hordak as a character rather than an archetype. Suddenly we realize that he's not conquering Etheria because he wants power, or hates happiness and sparkles, or whatever--he's doing it out of a desperate attempt to prove his worth to his brother/creator/god. This moment where Hordak lets Entrapta in is also the moment the show lets us in on what makes our favorite spacebat tick.

On top of that, we've also seen him bonding with Entrapta and opening up to this person that he respects and trusts...probably the only person he's ever respected or trusted apart from Prime. And she's Etherian--someone of a lower species, someone he's supposed to subjugate, someone who he has been raised and trained and programmed and mind-controlled into believing is below him in every way.

But instead she's brilliant and creative and mesmerizing. She's not afraid of him, and she's fascinated with his work. For the first time since being abandoned by Prime, Hordak finally has someone that he can talk to, who is on his level and both understands and cares about the science! (because he is a giant nerd). She's kind to him, a mere defect. And it just sends his whole worldview into a spin, and that's all before--

Bam, mans is a goner. Entrapta's "Imperfections are beautiful" comment punches right through all the toxic bs that Hordak has been steeped in his entire life. You can see on his face here--I think it's the moment Hordak fell in love with Entrapta, but this is also the face of a spacebat reevaluating his entire worldview. If Entrapta, who is amazing, believes something different from Prime...what does that mean? If Entrapta, who is brilliant, believes that he is worth something, and that she herself is a failure...

Well. We know what happens after that, and how Hordak begins to doubt, and eventually fights back against Prime (and remembers his love for Entrapta after TWO mind wipes help my heart ack). But we also get to see what life in the Galactic Horde looks like: the only life Hordak ever knew before coming to Etheria.

It's not nice.

It's really not nice.

Prime operates in a very specific way, and we learn a lot about it in season 5. Prime expects complete obedience, devotion and worship from his clones. He allows no individuality from his subjects, not even a name. Failure or deviations are punished, mind-wiped, or destroyed. We even learn from Wrong Hordak that facial expressions are considered a privilege reserved for Prime (apart from, presumably, expressions of rapture caused by being around Prime).

And once we learn all of this, suddenly thinking about season 1 Hordak becomes very interesting indeed. The time we spend with the Galactic Horde and Prime throws absolutely everything that we know about Hordak into a whole new context. Now all those traits that made him a generic villain are actually hugely effective characterization! And what that characterization is telling us is that Hordak had already moved much farther away from Prime than we (or, probably, he) had realized, even long before he met Entrapta.

Horde Prime does not allow his underlings to have names, personalities, or any differences of appearance. Not only does Hordak allow this among his own troops, he chose a name for himself as well! Season 5 tells us that his very name is an act of blasphemy against his god. And yet Hordak took one for himself, and that name is part of the core identity he is able to hold on to when rebelling against Prime.

Horde Prime cast Hordak out when he showed signs of physical imperfections. Hordak not only keeps Imp (who is by all appearances a failed clone or similar experiment) around, he treats Imp more gently than we see him treat anybody or anything before Entrapta. Imp is not simply "generic evil guy's minion," he is proof of Hordak's capacity for compassion, and evidence that Hordak cannot bring himself to cast aside "defects" as easily as Prime. Considering where Hordak came from, Imp's existence is a huge, flashing neon sign telling the audience this guy here is better than the hell that molded him, and we don't even realize it until 4 seasons after it's been shown to us!

Very cool, ND.

There's more, though. Hordak's red and black color scheme? His dark eye makeup and lipstick? Very Evil Overlord chic. But nope! Actually these are actually expressions of individuality on a level that Hordak knows would be abhorrent to Prime!

Reading between the lines, I see this as Hordak desperately trying to reconcile two diametrically opposed beliefs in his head: (1) devotion to Prime, whose approval he desperately craves, and (2) maintaining some degree of unique personhood, of Hordak, from which to draw strength. Because a failed, defective clone cannot survive on a hostile world, cut off from the hivemind and from Prime's light. A failed clone cannot create an empire to offer Prime as tribute, nor build a spacetime portal from scraps and memory to call Prime back. A failed clone cannot create cybernetic armor to keep his hurting, weakened body alive; to force himself to keep going no matter what, to fight through the pain and the doubt by sheer force of will.

But maybe Hordak can.

And so there it is. Hordak had plenty of time to gain and explore his individuality while separated from Prime, but I think the reason he did it so effectively (while still deluding himself that Prime would forgive him for these little sins, if only Hordak could prove his value) is because he had to.

Wrong Hordak gained his individuality surrounded by kind, quirky people who took care of him; Hordak was ripped from the hivemind by Prime himself and had to fight for his survival against all odds. And that produced a dangerous and damaging foe for Etheria. But it also produced the one clone with the strength of will to defy Prime himself.

This is long and rambling, but ultimately my point is that 1) I love Hordak, and 2) I love love love love that the show was so clever about his characterization. We learn so much about him and how much progress he's already made in breaking from his psycho abusive cult upbringing, and we don't even recognize it until the show wants us to. Hordak had come so far, all on his own, before he met Entrapta. She just helped push him over the edge and finally realize (at least consciously) that Prime's worldview might not be the correct one.

Idk, I just don't know if I've ever seen all the trappings of Basic 80's Villain(TM) so successfully subverted, where looking back 4 seasons later is actually a smack in the face with the "effective character building" stick. Amazing.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

X Marks the Spot - K.SY

🏴‍☠️Who; Kwon Soonyoung (Seventeen) x female reader 🏴‍☠️What; Humour. Bestfriends to lovers. I guess some tiny fluff? Adult themes. 🏴‍☠️Wordcount; 5.8k 🏴‍☠️Warnings; Profanity. Party typical alcohol mentions but neither SY nor reader are drinking. Kind of jealous/possessive Soonyoung. Making out in public places. The whole point of this story is Soonyoung in a costume marketed for women, so if that's not your vibe then this story is not for you, friend.

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

Summary; You stupidly left the job of buying your costumes for the party down to Soonyoung, and now you're paying for it and have to spend the night watching him dancing in those little shorts initially intended for you.

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N; this is all because I can't get the thought of Soonyoung in the pirate outfit from my "Sexy costumes for Seventeen to wear" post out of my head. made myself feral with that one.

Completely out of the blue last week, Seungkwan decided to send a message in the group chat that he's throwing a costume party. No reason for it, nothing had happened to warrant a party, he had simply decided he wanted to do it and demanded the entire group be there and in costume.

Soonyoung had, unsurprisingly, already been by your side on our couch watching the latest episode of the drama you two were obsessed with, when the message came through. After the episode you both looked at your phones and Soonyoung immediately started to look for costume ideas excitedly. He soon found and fell in love with a pirate outfit and after showing you it, he said it's part of a couple costume and as besties, you have to match because 'that's what besties do'. In the year you have known Soonyoung, you have never truly said no to him and this was no different.

Though perhaps you should've at least looked at the female half of the matching costume before agreeing instead of blindly trusting your best friend.

Which leads us to here. It's an hour before the party is due to start and Soonyoung has just turned up at your apartment to get ready together just like always. He has the parcel of costumes in his arms and a bright excited grin on his face when he hands it over to you to allow him to remove his shoes.

"I haven't opened it yet," He informs, watching you walk over to the couch to lean the parcel against the arm and open it like you knew he wanted you to. Soonyoung knows you get an odd sense of joy from opening parcels whether or not they're for you so he often brings his orders over or invites you to his apartment to allow you to open them for him.

"So I see," You muse with a little giggle.

Soonyoung appears at your back a moment later, leaning his chin on your shoulder to peer into the bag as you open it. The first costume out is his, packaged in another bag though this is clear revealing the cardboard insert with a picture of a man in the costume on the front. He takes it happily when you offer it and bounces aside to start to open it excitedly.

There's only one more item in the bag, your costume so you take it out, excited about your matching pirate outfits too. Up until you turn the packet over to look at the picture and realise that this truly is not what you expected, especially not from your best friend.

"What the actual fuck, Kwon Soonyoung?!" You demand flabbergasted.

"Uh-oh, the full name," Soonyoung looks up at you in alarm, all sign of joy gone. "Did they send the wrong thing?"

"I hope so because if you saw this on the site and still ordered it, you and I are going to have some issues." You turn the packet to show him the picture on the cardboard insert. A picture of a woman in a tiny pair of high-waisted shorts, if they could even be considered that with fishnet tights underneath. There's an attempt at a white top that honestly could be a lot worse, it's off the shoulder and cropped but it's honestly not as bad as it could be for a female-focused costume, but still far too revealing for your liking. To finish it off, she's wearing a striped bandana on her head with a plastic sword in her hands and you're very certain that the sword alone is the only reason the packet is that big because there's certainly not enough material creating the costume to require such a size bag.

Soonyoung stares at the picture for a second then looks up at you with a confused little pout. "It's a pirate outfit."

"Show me yours," You demand with a sigh. He doesn't hesitate to move over and hand you his costume, still in the packet just about.

There's a clear difference in costumes. The picture on his packet depicts a man in three-quarter length vertically striped trousers and a simple white shirt with an open neckline revealing a thin triangular strip of skin down to his sternum, finished with the same bandana as your costume and a plastic sword. Though, of course, the man's sword is bigger than the woman's sword. Of course, the men get the big boy sword and the women get the toothpick.

"You seriously don't see a problem with this?" You ask, holding the two packets up side by side so that he can see the photos together. Poor, naive Soonyoung looks between the pictures rapidly in a desperate attempt to understand. Yet he winds up just shaking his head as he looks at you with such an innocent expression that you know that he seriously doesn't understand the problem here at all. "Then you can wear this one." You declare, handing him the woman's outfit before turning to stalk off to your bedroom.

"What?!" He sputters, scrambling to follow you down the short corridor. "This is for women!"

"You've said before, clothes have no gender!" You remind, turning at the threshold with a hand on your open door ready to close it and a sweet smile on your face. "If you want to match with me, Soonyoungie, you wear that and I'll wear this."

He stares between you and the packet in his hand for a moment before agreeing with a nod and a simple "okay".

And that right there, is your second mistake.

When you had told Soonyoung to wear that outfit, you really had not been prepared for how fucking good he'd look in the skimpy little outfit. So now you have to spend the next hours at Seungkwan's bustling apartment pretending that your gaze isn't constantly locating Soonyoung in the dim lighting as he happily dances amongst other costumed bodies.

Sure, you've seen Soonyoung topless before so you know the man has a frankly incredible body usually hidden under the baggy clothes he usually prefers to wear, but the sexy little pirate outfit highlights his strong torso and biceps so well. The cropped top stops at his sternum giving full view of the top half of his defined abs, the bottom half hidden by the high waist of the shorts. And those shorts? They really do not leave a lot to the imagination at all so Soonyoung has spent the entire night so far carefully doing his best to keep the sword strapped around his hips dangling in front of his crotch. You had obligingly given him the bigger sword when you had realised that the 'woman's' sword wasn't exactly wide enough to cover him. Neither of you had made eye contact when you had handed it over without a word because you both knew what it meant and the fact you had obviously seen the bulge of his flaccid dick in the tight shorts.

Which honestly, had only made you wonder how big he was hard, and that was a thought that you usually try to avoid; thinking of your best friend in a sexual situation. Though his pure existence alone makes it very hard.

Kwon Soonyoung doesn't realise how attractive he is and you're kind of grateful about it. Because if that unfairly effortlessly attractive man knows how hot he is, then you know he'll be cocky and dress to show off more often than just for nights out or special occasions, and you would not mentally survive that.

As it is, you're not sure you'll survive the night.

"One day, you two are going to stop being stupid and just fuck it out," Chan comments from your right where he stands in his doctor's outfit; Seungkwan's wearing a matching one somewhere else in the apartment and you really can't tell if it's intentional or not with those two. They're always bickering and acting like they hate each other but they're always the first the other goes to for any reason whatsoever.

"Please make it before the end of summer so I don't lose money," Seungcheol requests from your left, leaning against the wall with you and dressed in a suit just like his own best friend and roommate, wherever she has disappeared to. She's likely with Junhui based on the way the pair have been eyeing each other for the past hour -and since they met really but that's another story entirely.

"You assholes have bets on us fucking?" You gawp in betrayed disbelief at the suited man.

"Yup," Seungcheol confirms shamelessly while Chan tries to sputter out a denial that makes you level the youngest with an unimpressed look. However, it doesn't last because you hear Soonyoung's loud voice even over the music and automatically look over to where your best friend is trying to stop Seokmin from grabbing at his sword. No euphemism even if the plastic is in the right place. "Looks like Seok's going to get further with your boy than you ever have." Seungcheol sniggers. You shove his arm making him laugh harder.

"Swordplay," Chan giggles then wanders off without another word to refill his cup after swallowing the last of its contents.

"Seriously though, you should like, go fuck him," Seungcheol speaks a moment later when Soonyoung has successfully distracted Seokmin by grabbing the younger's hands to make him dance with him. Soonyoung shoots you a world-weary, wide-eyed look that makes you snicker and wave innocently at him.

"You really don't want to lose money, huh."

"It's not even about that, just you two. This has been going on for over a year now; this gross pining shit. Just sit on his dick and ask him on a date, it's not that hard."

"You can't say shit, Cheol."

"Hey, I've fucked her, regularly," he defends with a pout before sipping at his drink.

"Oh yeah, because fucking your best friend who you've been in love with since childhood while encouraging her to go after your friend who she's been mutually eyefucking for the past three months is so much better." You retort sarcastically and give him a look. He can't refute it at all, it's entirely true and he's confided in you enough for you both to know that he's constantly making his own heartbreak worse by continuing to indulge his best friend both in bed and when she comes home and whines over how good Junhui looks.

"We're as bad as each other," he decides after a second.

"Don't lump me with you, I've never fucked him." You scoff and turn back around to naturally locate Soonyoung where he's back to smiling away as he dances with Seokmin and some others.

"You want to,"

"Yeah, I really fucking do," you exhale and swallow down the last of your drink only to frown down into the empty disposable cup. "I need a real drink."

"You know you can't drink around him like this or you will ask to suck his dick." Seungcheol reminds you of the very reason why you're always the designated driver when Soonyoung dresses up.

Because yes, you have come close to getting on your knees in the middle of a club for him. Luckily, Seungcheol had noticed and took you home before you actually acted on the urge to publicly defile your best friend. Unluckily, Seungcheol had noticed and has not failed to mention it at every chance. But at least it's stayed between the two of you.

"At this rate, I'll do it regardless," you mutter, still frowning into your empty cup. "Back in a bit." Seungcheol just grunts to show he heard before you slump off to the kitchen to refill your cup with one of the non-alcoholic beverages lining the counter.

You've barely finished filling your cup when a familiar hand reaches around you and picks it up to start gulping down. Even though you know it's Soonyoung, you still look over your right shoulder where he's chugging down the drink entirely unaware of your thirsty gaze watching the drop of liquid that escapes from the corner of his mouth trail down over his chin and jaw and down his neck to catch on his collar bone. You refrain from leaning in to slurp it up and lick your way up the trail it left all the way to Soonyoung's mouth.

Instead of staring at the way his throat bobs as he swallows down the last drops, you turn back around and wait for him to place the cup down so that you can refill it. And then he grabs it again before you can, making you groan. "Seriously?"

"M'thirsty," he defends barely pulling the cup away and accidentally dribbling some of the liquid from his mouth onto your shoulder. You look at him in disgust. He just grins sweetly and kisses your cheek in a sticky apologetic way before leaning back up to get back to his task of once again, stealing your drink.

At least this time when you've refilled the cup, he doesn't steal it away and lets you actually lift it to your own mouth. You can feel his eyes on you as you drink so you side-eye him questioningly without moving the cup away.

"Are you taking Seungcheol home again?" He asks, stepping closer to you as someone passes too close behind him, his left hand falling to your hip and his right on the counter, sort of caging you in though you know it's unintentional even if you wish it wasn't.

"He can take himself home, he's not drinking tonight," you reply, distracted by the feeling of plastic pressing against you. "Your sword is digging into my ass."

Soonyoung lets go of the counter to tug his sword belt around and lays the toy on the outside of his left thigh leaving him pressed directly against you. You genuinely can't tell if he's even noticed that as he seems to be focused on the conversation judging by the concentrated furrow of his eyebrows. "That's not what I mean and you know it."

"If I know it, wouldn't I respond to what you mean?" You give him a look, puzzled by his own words and hoping he understands that you seem to very much not be having the same conversation here and you are completely unaware of the conversation he's having with you.

"Not when you're both pretending nothing's happening,"

"What?" You nudge him back enough so that you can turn and face him, which admittedly, is not your smartest move when he moves straight back in. He doesn't press against you again but his left foot is between yours as you lean your ass back against the counter. Any closer and his thigh will be very close to pressing to your crotch.

"Come on, I'm your best friend, I think you should at least be honest with me, even if you play ignorant with the others," he frowns and leans heavier onto his right hand on the counter beside your hip, bringing him in closer so that he doesn't have to talk so loudly to be heard over the music. "You two often leave together when we go out. And even though his place is closer than mine, you drop me off first so it's just you two left. I'm not stupid."

"Wait, you think that's so we can go fuck?" You realise with wide eyes.

"It's obvious, you always find each other when we're all together like this and spend the whole fucking night hiding off to the side whispering to each other,"

You can't help but laugh. "Do you all think we're fucking?" He nods. You laugh again. "Oh man, I gotta tell Cheolie this," you start to push off of the counter with every intention of going to find the man knowing he will find it as hilarious as you do, but Soonyoung puts his left hand on your lower stomach to push you back and then he pushes himself against you to pin you there. "Soonyoung,"

"No."

"What? No? No what?"

"I'm not letting you go back to him. You came with me, you're staying with me and leaving with me, no one else." He declares firmly.

You stare up at him trying to decipher what the fuck is actually going on right now, what prompted this sudden conversation and behaviour. Not that Soonyoung has never pinned you before but it's usually playfully as he whines and pouts cutely to get his way, or to just joke around. But he's entirely serious now and looking at you with something kind of dark in his eyes. Admittedly, it's pretty fucking hot. "Are you drunk?" You ask, even if you know he's not; you can't smell any alcohol on him and drunk Soonyoung gets cuddly and clingy, not whatever this is.

"You know I'm not," he places his left hand on the counter on your other side, well and truly caging you in and causing him to lean down a little closer to reach comfortably.

"Then why are you suddenly acting like this?"

"It's not sudden." You give him a look. "Okay, fine, acting on it is but wanting to, that's not sudden. I've wanted to do this for a long time,"

"Then why haven't you?"

"Because I care about you too much," he frowns a little as he takes in your features from up close, gaze catching on your lips for a few seconds before lifting back up to meet your eyes. "There's a bet you know, about us fucking?"

"I just found out." You pull a displeased expression. "Cheol's in on that, you know? He wouldn't bet on us fucking before the end of summer if he's fucking me."

"He is?" He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "They made it sound like he's against the bet, said he's been trying to stop them from always talking me into it,"

"Yeah, no, he just told me to fuck you. He's always telling me to fuck you."

"Oh," He licks his lips as his eyes divert thoughtfully. "Guess I should stop being a dick to him then,"

"You've been a dick to him?" You ask, genuinely surprised. You really haven't noticed Soonyoung acting badly towards Seungcheol at all.

"Mm, I always take his favourite snacks at movie night." You can't help but burst into giggling laughter at his confession.

Of course, the man doesn't have a single genuinely mean bone in his body and would think purposely taking someone's favourite snacks would be a big dick move. You bet he's been feeling kind of guilty about it while no doubt Seungcheol hasn't even noticed.

"What? Why're you laughing?" He pouts at you.

"Oh, Soonie, you're so fucking cute," you coo and cup his cheeks fondly. He smiles a little dopily at the compliment, the same smile he reserves for you and your doting attention on him even if neither of you has noticed that. The rest of your friends have though.

"Nice ass," You hear before Soonyoung's hips jerk into you when he yelps and tries to escape the slap that landed on his ass.

"Hyung!" He complains, looking over his shoulder to pout at Jeonghan as the man appears from behind your best friend.

You really can't tell exactly what Jeonghan is supposed to be, you think it's some kind of anime character, or something kinky. Maybe both. Either way, his costume is a strange mix of faux black leather and shimmery red lacey wings. And he pulls it off unfairly well considering that you know he hadn't been prepared for the party that morning at all.

"What? Don't look at me like I'm disturbing something," Jeonghan scoffs, reaching around you to grab the same big plastic bottle you had been filling your cup from. Though he stops and looks at the way Soonyoung is very much pressed against you. Jeonghan grins after noticing that Soonyoung's crotch is definitely smushed against your upper thigh; something you have been doing your best to ignore yourself because yes you can feel everything through the thin material covering you both. "Or maybe I am." He smirks at you both.

"What are you supposed to be exactly?" You ask in an attempt to change the topic to one that won't kill your last remaining dregs of sanity. Then again, with the things that come out of Yoon Jeonghan's mouth, you could still be rendered insane but for a reason other than feeling your best friend's dick pressed against you.

"No idea just grabbed some shit from Hao's costume closet." Jeonghan shrugs as he looks down at himself. "Kind of think this might be less about his costume designing and more about sex though."

"He's definitely worn that harness while fucking someone." You agree and reach out to hook your finger over the thick horizontal strap over Jeonghan's chest. You're pretty sure it's directly over his nipples, but the slightly sheer tank top he's wearing underneath the harness kind of obscures your view enough that you don't have confirmation.

"Mm, definitely." Jeonghan agrees and smirks at you. "Want to take it home yourself?"

"And take it from you? I wouldn't dare, you look so handsome, Hannie," You coo, playing along with the flirty banter you two have always partaken in. Not because anything has ever happened between you nor will it, you've discussed it plenty of times to make sure you're both on the same page still. But it's just fun to harmlessly flirt.

"Never said I won't be wearing it," he licks his lips and gives you a suggestive look.

"You're not going home with her," Soonyoung argues firmly, crowding up against you further though his gaze is on Jeonghan in warning, so he misses the way your eyes widen and dart down to where Soonyoung is now pressing his crotch against your hip, his own thigh pressing up between your thighs. Jeonghan doesn't miss it though and cackles, taking the bottle and his cup away entirely without another word.

"S-soonyoung," You stammer, hands fluttering at his sides, wanting to push him back for your sanity but you think putting your hands on his exposed skin will just make you pull him closer.

"Do you have to flirt with him all the time?" He frowns at you, entirely unaware of the screaming in your mind, mostly just sounds with the odd yell of the word penis. He'd probably laugh if he heard it, to be honest, just because of the word penis. He wouldn't even realise it's his penis you're mentally screaming about. "And when I'm right here too. Did you forget I'm here or something?"

"No," You choke out.

"Then why- are you okay?" He suddenly realises how wide your eyes are.

"I can feel your dick," You blurt, unable to think of anything else.

He blinks at you for a moment then looks down at where he's pressed against you as if he hasn't even noticed until now. "Oh," he pulls his hips back and his thigh from between yours making you let out a heavy shaky exhale as your body relaxes a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Ha, not the word I'd use."

"What word would you use?" If he was any other man, you'd say the little quirk of his head and innocent eyes locked onto you is fake, just some kind of game, a way to flirt. But it's Soonyoung and you've seen this man miss the most obvious of flirtations since you've known him; the amount of times you or the guys have had to bluntly tell him that someone had been trying to take him home to fuck is frankly absurd. "Stop touching my ass!" His sudden exclamation makes you jump a little while he looks over his shoulder in annoyance, glaring at Seungkwan who's giving him an innocent look.

"I'm very happy that you two are finally doing something about your consistent sexual tension and mutual pining but take it out of my kitchen, please. I don't want to have to burn my home down if you defile my counters." The younger man speaks bluntly with a slightly sweet edge to his words. You can't even see him but you just know that he's got that too sweet smile on his face that always feels more threatening than anything.

"What?" Soonyoung blinks at him, the annoyance of his ass being grabbed melting away. "We're not doing anything."

"Hannie told me you're being possessive and we all know that she likes that so-"

"Hey!" You exclaim offendedly, not because you can argue it, but just more that you're being talked about like you're not there. "She has a name!"

"Well take hyung home and he can moan it for the neighbours to hear." Seungkwan gives you that sweet-threatening smile as he leans around Soonyoung to meet your gaze. "My neighbours don't want to hear it."

"My neighbours won't hear that," you scoff. Soonyoung can't help but frown, he feels like he's just been rejected even though he hadn't even gotten to the point of actually asking to take you home and fuck you like he wants to, like your mutual friends had convinced him you want him to. But your firm dismissal of Seungkwan's words sounds like you putting that boundary securely in place before he can even ask to tumble over it into your arms.

"He's loud-" Seungkwan starts to point out but you're not done talking even if you had taken a quick scoff break.

"I don't live in a cheap-ass building with paper for walls like you do, Kwannie." You finish.

Both men stare at you for a second, Seungkwan at first just blinks in surprise at the fact you're not even disputing the Soonyoung moaning your name part, just whether or not your neighbours will hear. And Soonyoung is full-on gawping at you, mouth open and eyes wide, wondering if this means that boundary even exists between you.

"Does that mean you won't get a noise complaint? Hyung is pretty loud, you know? There's a reason we don't live together anymore."

"I don't know." You reply with a shrug.

"Then go fucking home already and stop humping against my kitchen counter!" Seungkwan grabs Soonyoung by his hips to yank him backwards away from you while the scantily dressed pirate yelps and flails a little at the unexpected action. Then he's shoved towards the kitchen exit while Seungkwan grabs your wrist to tug you along.

You're both too genuinely dumbstruck by Seungkwan's sudden forceful actions to do anything but stumble along until you're both outside of the apartment, shoes in hands and staring in shock at the door that's just been shut in your faces.

"Did we just get kicked out?" You mutter.

Soonyoung nods slowly and then looks at you. "I think we got kicked out for sex."

"Is it still sexile if you're the ones getting kicked out and told to go elsewhere to fuck?" You muse, attention down as you focus on shoving your feet into your shoes, one hand on the wall behind you and the other out in the air pointlessly.

"Uh, reverse sexile?" He offers, dropping his shoes to shove his feet into.

"Sounds like a sex position."

He laughs. "What would that even look like?"

"No idea." You grin at him then figure that well, it seems like you've both been outed enough already seeing as all of your friends have stopped hiding the fact that they expect you to finally have sex, which really implies a mutual attraction. So you suck your bottom lip into your mouth for a second as he frowns down at his shoe that just will not accept his right foot for some reason. "Shall we go find out?"

Immediately, Soonyoung looks up at you with wide eyes. "What?"

"Shall we go find out what reverse sexile looks like?"

"Like…us?"

"Yeah, Soonyoung, us," You confirm with an amused twitch of your lips. "You said you're the only one to go home with me, right?" He nods. "Then let's go home and find out, Young-ah."

"Ye-no, wait." He steps closer and takes your hand gently before you can start walking down the hall to the staircase. His fingers are barely holding onto your own. It's perhaps the most cautious he's ever taken your hand into his. Even the very first time he had boldly laced your fingers together and you had only met ten minutes previously.

"No?" You ask, feeling really kind of stupid all of a sudden. You had been so unusually confident in asking him to go home and fuck you.

"Not because I don't want to because I do seriously, I really want to fuck you." He breathes out, sounding rather affected by the thought alone as he stares at you longingly and holds your hand a little more securely. "I just…I don't want it to wind up like Seungcheol."

"Uh, what about Seungcheol?" You shuffle a little closer while giving him a questioning look.

"Regularly fucking his best friend who has a crush on someone else, while he…while he wants her as more than just company in his bed." The way his expression turns serious and yearning makes your heart start to race a little with hope.

"While he…Are you saying you want more?" You ask quietly.

"Earlier when I said I care about you too much, I meant I care too much to be able to have sex with you if it means nothing. I really fucking like you and I don't want to go home with you like this if you don't feel the same. I can't do that." He shakes his head a little. "As much as I've thought about this, about you and me doing all kinds of kinky shit all over your apartment, and mine when Jihoon isn't there. Or when he is if you're into exhibitionism, I don't know your kinks and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even notice anyway because he never leaves his fucking room an-" He's rambling at this point, frowning down at your connected hands as he talks.

"Soonyoung." He makes a soft hum of a noise as he looks back up at you with rounded eyes. "We can talk kinks later, I'd really like to get back to the matter of it sounds like you're confessing to me?"

"Oh, right yeah, I guess I am." He chuckles a little and scratches the back of his neck with his free hand. "So uh, yeah, I really like you and uhm, I guess now comes the part where hopefully, you say you like me back but I really don't know if you do because the guys just really said you want to fuck me and-" You cover his mouth with your hand that time to shut up his second bout of nervous rambling.

"I really like you too, Soonie," You confirm softly and giggle at the way his features light up adorably behind your palm. "Can we skip the trial dating bullshit and go straight to being together? I'd like to show you off as my boyfriend," His eyes widen dramatically and then he's nodding rapidly in agreement without dislodging your hand. "You're so cute." You coo and lean in just to press a kiss to the back of your hand over his mouth. He looks utterly betrayed and heartbroken when you lean back. "What?" You play innocent and lower your hand while backing up, lacing your fingers behind your back.

"You can't tease me like that, baby!" He whines, toddling after you and dragging his feet in a sulk as he moves along the carpeted flooring of the hall.

"Tease? Me? Never," You grin at him then stop as your back hits the door to the staircase.

"You are, teased me for the past year. Teasing me now." He continues to mumble away as he nears, though cuts off when you reach out to grab the sword and yank on the plastic to pull him in right up against you. His hands automatically fly up to catch himself on the door above your head while his breath catches in his throat.

"If you're so worried I'm going to keep teasing you, Soonie, you better hurry up and take what you want." You warn in a low voice, chin tilted up so your faces are only inches apart.

Soonyoung groans in the back of his throat before he leans down and seals his lips against yours in a hungry, desperate kiss. He presses his left forearm flat against the door beside your head so that he can firmly hold your jaw with his right hand and tilt you further into him with his thumb pushing on your chin to urge your mouth open wider and deepen the kiss in a manner much too filthy for a public hallway of your friend's apartment building.

"Oh for fucks sake!" The loud voice of the friend in question forces you both apart to peer over Soonyoung's shoulder to where Seungkwan is in the hallway with the cute neighbour he's recently started to date, their hands together and clearly with one intention in mind while sneaking away from his own party. They're standing outside of the neighbour's slightly open door but Seungkwan is staring at you and Soonyoung in disbelief. "I told you to go home! Not get your booty here!"

"Ha, booty, pirate joke." You snigger and Soonyoung giggles, both at your amusement and the pun he honestly hadn't even noticed.

"You two are fucking useless." Seungkwan decides and lets his neighbour tug him into the apartment. "You better be gone before I'm back!"

"90 seconds, right?!" Soonyoung calls as Seungkwan disappears. The younger's head pops back out to glare at the other and flip him a very heartfelt middle finger before the door actually shuts behind him that time. Soonyoung turns to look at you with a mischievous smirk. "Should we go fuck on his bed just to piss him off?"

"As tempting as that sounds, I'd rather only I hear you like that, Soonie," You pout at him cutely. "I'm not very good at sharing my toys, you know."

"Oh, I'm your toy now?" He muses, reaching down to open the door carefully to back you through it with his other arm wrapping around your waist.

"Mm, mine and only mine to play with when I want, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yours and yours only, baby." He agrees lowly. "And you're mine."

"I am." You confirm and tilt up to kiss him teasingly. "Let's hurry and get home so I can show you everything that now belongs to you."

A/N; There is more to this but I had to cut it all because it really was me mostly rambling with a sort of hand job thrown in there. The title comes from a conversation in the part I haven't included, by the way. Working title was "Yo ho hoe". But if I continue that part I removed from this, I guess there will be a part 2 as a direct continuation from this and it'll include smut.

[hamsterclaw]

My Girl

A Love story. Read the rest here.

Namjoon's always careful about his words, but he mis-speaks, and he doesn't want to take it back.

Pairing: Namjoon x F! reader

Word count: 3.8k

Genre: Exes, college flashback

Warnings: Sex, swearing

Namjoon sometimes wonders if something happened to arrest his emotional development.

People are supposed to grow aren’t they? Aren’t they supposed to evolve? They learn from their mistakes and they learn from living their day to day.

Everytime Namjoon sees you he feels like he’s 19 again, the same cocky shit who didn’t see anything wrong with asking you to sit on his dick two hours after you met.

He didn’t need to know your last name to know you’d feel good on the end of his cock.

He’d been humbled by how badly he’d wanted to make you come. Once he’d discovered the sweetness of your pretty face as you fell apart, he’d vowed to keep making you fall apart, again and again.

And you were always so so easy to please. You seemed always glad to see him, whatever time he turned up at your door.

You never really asked for anything, not to meet up on Valentine’s day, not to hang out on a weekend when he had plans, not for flowers or anything on your birthday.

The only reason he’d learned when your birthday was, was that he’d seen you with your friends, a whole big group, out one night. You’d been surrounded by love, smiling faces and Namjoon had realised then that you had love to spare. He guesses that’s why you had so much to give him.

Namjoon had dropped by a house party with his housemates, Yoongi and Hoseok, and he hadn’t been looking for anything other than a good time when you’d caught his eye.

You were standing backed up against a wall, talking earnestly to some guy in a shirt, and from across the room Namjoon could see the way the guy kept using his vantage point to look down your top.

The entire scene rubbed him the wrong way. You were way too pretty to be visually molested by some clown who didn’t even deserve to be talking to you.

He was halfway across the room before his rational brain caught up to his monkey brain but Namjoon shut that all out and kept walking.

He walked right up to you, cocked his head.

‘Hey, you look pretty.’

You’d smiled at that, turned to introduce the clown to Namjoon like you were all at some fucking tea party, and Namjoon had rolled his eyes, impatient.

‘Come on, let me get you a drink.’

You’d hesitated, and the shirt guy had tried to press closer to you.

‘She’s got a drink,’ he’d said.

Namjoon had just waited.

You’d said, ‘See you later, Marcus,’ and followed Namjoon round the back.

‘He’s not a bad guy,’ you’d said to Namjoon, after he’d got you that drink.

‘He spent the whole time checking out your tits,’ Namjoon had said, incredulous.

You’d laughed. ‘Don’t you do that too?’

‘I’m allowed. You’re my girl.’

You’d both froze.

There was an edge of something to your voice as you’d scoffed. ‘Am I?’

Namjoon had been appalled by his lapse.

‘One of them,’ he’d amended.

You’d said, not looking at him, ‘Yeah.’

He’d left the party with another girl that night just to prove a point. 

He didn’t need you.

***

There was one night when you’d seemed more subdued than usual.

You always were more cynical than chirpy but you’d been pretty quiet as you watched the movie together. He’d watched you checking your phone for a while before he’d asked, voice cold, ‘You waiting for your other fuckbuddy to text you?’

You’d turned to him, mouth slightly open in surprise. 

He’d watched as you processed his words, his tone, the look in his eyes.

He’d wondered if you knew how expressive your face was.

You’d said, ‘No. I’m just waiting for —-‘

He’d cut you off. 

‘So you want to get on my dick or not?’

You’d seemed to be lost for words, so he’d said, more aggressive then he’d intended, ‘Come on, you didn’t wear that dress because you didn’t want to get fucked, right?’

Your mouth had snapped shut, your eyes had flashed, and you’d said, ‘Shut up, Namjoon.’

You’d climbed into his lap, and he’d fucked you hard, until you’d been reduced to a whimpering mess in his arms.

He’d felt a pang of guilt as he’d seen the handprints he’d left on your ass cheeks, but you’d said nothing, getting your clothes on like you were leaving, after.

Namjoon had watched you, realised you hadn’t really answered his question.

‘Going?’ he’d asked.

You’d said, quietly, ‘Yeah, I gotta go.’

There was something about your manner that rankled, like you were so detached he barely registered to you.

Namjoon had yawned deliberately, drawled, ‘You can get back home ok on your own, can’t you?’

You’d both looked at the clock on the wall. 

2am.

‘Yeah,’ you’d replied. 

You’d left without a backwards glance for your dorm across campus, and if Namjoon felt relief when he saw you safe and sound the next day in class he felt no need to acknowledge it, even to himself.

***

The first week you were late to class he’d been a little surprised. You were, as a rule, punctual, always sat near the front like you didn’t want to miss anything.

He’d headed in your direction casually, to talk to you, but you were too quick, rushing out like you had somewhere important to be.

The second week you were late the professor had made a pointed remark about the start time and Namjoon had been close enough to see the way your expression dropped. You looked tired, and he was no stranger to tiring you out but you’d never looked so wiped out before.

The third week you arrived on time but towards the end of class Namjoon had realised you were asleep, slumped forward, head on your desk.

He’d seen the professor’s gaze on you, seen him about to walk over, and Namjoon had, without really thinking about it, shoved the stack of textbooks on his desk to the floor.

The slap of cardboard and paper on the wood floor had been so loud a girl near the front had screamed, and by the time the professor had looked back at you, you were sitting up, blinking, dazed but awake.

You’re fast, but Namjoon’s stride’s longer than yours. He catches you easily.

‘Hey,’ he says, falling into step beside you. ‘Want to meet up tonight?’

You smile up at him. ‘I can’t. I have work.’

‘You got a job?’ Namjoon asks.

‘Bartending. My dad lost his job and I need to start paying my own rent.’

You’re matter of fact about it. 

Namjoon says, ‘What about now? You have some time before your next class, right?’

***

Namjoon braces his hand against the headboard behind him, trying to stop it slamming against the wall as you ride him.

His cock’s in heaven, slipping in and out of your cunt, wet, hot, tight. The rest of him is as enthralled, the visual of you with your tits out, moaning as you fuck yourself on him has him most of the way to coming.

Namjoon knows that the way you are now, all he has to do is stay hard for long enough to pleasure you. 

You slam your hips down on his so hard Namjoon’s pushed back, his fingers clipped between the headboard and the wall. He barely registers the pain, because you’re calling his name, tightening on his cock, and he’s coming too, groaning his pleasure as he twitches and jerks inside you.

You bury your face in his chest, and it’s only when you mumble something incomprehensible that Namjoon realises you’ve fallen asleep. 

The warmth in his chest takes him by surprise. He’s sticky with sweat and sex, but he wraps an arm around you anyway. To his surprise, you snuggle deeper into his chest, your breath warm against his skin.

Namjoon likes it.

He must doze, because he opens his eyes to you, fully dressed, trying to fix your hair that he pulled into a tangled mess.

You give him a sheepish smile. ‘I’m sorry I fell asleep.’

‘It’s ok,’ Namjoon says. He’s soft with the honesty of sleep. ‘I liked it.’

The words leave his mouth and hang between you.

You appear to be caught in indecision, then you sigh and lean down. You press a soft kiss to his lips, and rest your forehead against his, hand on his cheek.

Namjoon breathes you in.

He doesn’t think he’s ever touched you before without the intention of fucking you. 

His mind races with all the things he could say, and he closes his mouth before any of it spills out.

You’re not waiting for him to gather his thoughts.

‘Thank you,’ you tell him, affection in your eyes. ‘I needed that.’

Namjoon wants to say, I needed you too.

Instead he smirks. ‘I like those panties. Are they new?’

You snort. ‘There you are, baby.’

You do up the last button on your shirt, the one he wasn’t going to tell you was undone because he likes the view of your tits.

Then you’re off.

***

Namjoon’s first at the bar in the dive off campus, his friends had told him what they wanted to drink but he’ll just get whatever’s easiest, fuck remembering the detail.

He registers that your profile looks familiar just as you turn to take his order.

You raise your eyebrow in greeting.

‘What can I get you, Namjoon?’

‘Out of here,’ Namjoon replies in a flash of honesty. 

Your lips curve as you stifle a laugh. 

You’re about to say something when Jiah, one of the girls he’s with, walks up. ‘We want shots,’ she says, hand on his arm, tugging him down even though he can hear her easily.

Namjoon loses eye contact with you as he turns to her.

‘I got you,’ you say, smooth, professional. 

You pour out the drinks, take the rest of his order. ‘I’ll bring them to your table.’

Namjoon hands you his card, you tap and hand it back to him with an exaggerated flourish.

By the time you bring your drinks over to his table Namjoon’s been thinking about you non-stop.

You set down the drinks, give his friends cheerful waves in greeting. 

Namjoon waits until you set his drink in front of him. 

‘When do you get off work?’ he asks.

‘Late,’ you say, your smile never faltering. ‘Have a good night, Joon.’

***

There’s some guy talking to you around closing time like he thinks you’re going to want to finish your shift and clock off with him.

Namjoon walks over, says your name. Looks hard at the way the man’s stretched over the bar like he wants to touch you.

You say something that makes the man step back.

You wipe down the counter, hang up your apron, and grab Namjoon’s arm.

‘I said you were my boyfriend so he’d stop hassling me,’ you tell him, going up on tiptoe to reach his ear. ‘Just play along for a bit.’

Namjoon, always ready to act like he owns you, slips an arm around your waist, throws the guy a look.

It’s when you’re out in the cool night air that you say, ‘thanks.’

Like Namjoon’s in a hurry to let you go.

He’s half-drunk, and horny, but he’s not in a hurry to try anything. 

‘Come on,’ you say. ‘I’ll walk you home.’

‘Nah, let me walk you home.’

You throw him a surprised look that honestly, makes him feel a little ashamed.

‘You want to walk me home?’

‘It’s late,’ Namjoon shrugs. He laughs, trying to make light of it. ‘It’s what your boyfriend would do.’

‘You can stop pretending, that guy’s gone.’

‘I don’t want to,’ Namjoon says.

Again, the words hang in the air between you. 

You grin at him, teasing. ‘You want to be my boyfriend, Namjoon?’

Namjoon thinks, Yes.

Namjoon shrugs. ‘Don’t you want me?’

You shrug back. ‘Do you want me?’

Namjoon thinks, Yes.

Namjoon says, ‘You’re the one walking around calling me your boyfriend.’

You laugh. ‘How drunk are you, baby? Want to come up?’

With a start Namjoon realises you’re at your dorm.

‘I have my own room,’ you say. There’s a note of uncertainty in your voice now, a quietness now the night is over.

Namjoon’s never been to your room before.

He follows you up the stairs, waits behind you as you unlock the door and push it open.

Your room is neat, uncluttered for the most part.

‘Hey, you want to watch a movie?’ you ask.

‘Sure,’ Namjoon says. 

He watches, a little amazed, as you tie up your hair, get changed into a loose tee and shorts. 

You’re unselfconscious about winding down from the day in front of him, and your ease makes him feel easy too.

‘I have a pair of your sweats,’ you say. You toss them to him.

Namjoon shucks his clothes, pulls on the sweats, looks around for a shirt.

‘You don’t need one, Joon.’

You say, ‘I’d normally take my makeup off now but I know you like it when you make my mascara run.’

Namjoon leans back against your bed, widens his stance.

You climb into his lap. Your shorts are so short he can see your panties.

Namjoon tugs them aside, presses a knuckle against your cunt.

He groans. ‘You always feel so fucking good.’

‘You too, Joon.’

He’s hardening as you grind against him.

‘Put the movie on,’ Namjoon grunts. He tugs his sweats down, fists his cock. ‘Then come and warm my cock for a bit.’

You lose your tee as you put the movie on, and when you come back to him he presses his fingers into your mouth, gentle with your jaw.

‘Suck,’ he says.

Namjoon pulls your shorts and panties down. 

‘Let me see.’

Obligingly, you get on all fours on the bed, let him finger you to the opening credits.

Namjoon pushes himself back, spreads his legs.

He positions you on him, and like every time, you take him so well, leaning forward without him having to ask.

You moan when he fills you, cock snug inside your walls.

‘Don’t move,’ Namjoon warns.

He tugs your bra straps down, cups your breasts.

‘These tits,’ Namjoon tells you, ‘Fill my hands just right.’

You’re quiet save for your moaning.

Namjoon can feel you getting steadily wetter on his cock as he touches your breasts.

His cock’s as hard as he’s ever been. 

Harder, as you arch your back to push your tits into his palms.

Harder, as you lean into his neck, cry his name.

‘Stay still,’ Namjoon growls.

‘Joon I’m coming,’ you gasp out.

Namjoon bites into his lip so hard he draws blood as you writhe your pleasure on his cock, cunt fluttering around his hardness so beautifully he almost gives in and fucks you.

He pinches your hip.

‘I told you not to move, baby,’ he says sternly. ‘Who said you could come on my cock like that?’

‘Couldn’t help it,’ you slur, so fucked out you’d think he’d been fucking you all night instead of just touching your tits with his cock in you.

Namjoon wraps his arms around you, holding you still.

He’s aching a bit now, he’s been hard for a while. He fucks up into you a bit, just to take the edge off.

Shit, you’re so wet, and so fucking warm.

You moan everytime he shifts his hips, like every change in position pleasures you.

‘You’re so big, Joon,’ you say, breathy.

Namjoon grinds your ass down into his lap, and you whine. ‘So deep.’

‘Yeah,’ Namjoon agrees.

You’re well into the movie now, though neither of you are watching.

You shift a little, rub the pads of your fingers against your clit, fingers spreading over the base of his cock.

‘Oh Joon,’ you shiver. ‘I’m gonna come again.’

‘Do what you like,’ Namjoon says, hoarse. ‘Just don’t fucking move.’

Your fingers move faster, drawing circles over your clit.

‘Joon!’ 

Namjoon feels the gush of your slickness dripping down his balls, and realises he’s coming too, cock twitching as he spills inside you.

‘Fuck.’

He pulls you under him to fuck you the rest of the way, collapses on you in a sweaty, panting heap.

He’s still hard, sensitive. 

‘Stay,’ you moan, muffled against the pillow. ‘Fuck, stay, Joon, don’t come out.’

‘I’ll stay,’ Namjoon agrees. He bites into your shoulder, and you shiver helplessly under him. ‘I want to come again.’

‘Yeah,’ you agree. You’re most of the way to unconscious now, wiped out by your two orgasms, whatever the fuck else you got up to today.

Namjoon thinks you’ve fallen asleep, but when he lifts up to take his weight off you, you turn your head.

‘You promised to stay,’ you say, accusing.

Namjoon doesn’t know why you being cute makes him hard but it does.

Does he need to get his kinks unpicked? Analysed?

I’ll stay as long as you want, he wants to say.

‘Make it worth my while,’ he says.

You smile like you heard his thoughts and not what he actually said. 

‘Go on, Joon, fuck me.’

Namjoon circles his hips, thrusts into you with a lazy snap of his pelvis.

You cry out.

He’s sensitive, but the way you cry his name when he’s fucking you like this takes the edge off.

‘One more,’ Namjoon says, turning you over to he can see your face.

‘Give it to me,’ you say, loose, fucked out.

Namjoon rolls his hips into yours, fucks you until you’re screaming. He’s leaked into you so much by the time he comes that he thinks it’s dry, just the pulsing of his cock.

He’s so fucked out he has no words left, not in his head, nor left unspoken. 

He holds you, and sleeps.

***

Namjoon wakes to you stepping back into your room in a towel, hair dripping.

‘I had cum all over me,’ you tell him, almost shy.

‘That’s what you get for being cute,’ Namjoon says, unrepentant.

You catch his eye in the mirror as you start getting dressed.

Namjoon rolls onto his side, arm under his head, to admire your bare pussy as you bend over to pull your panties on.

‘Stop staring —-‘

‘Stop showing it to me,’ Namjoon retorts.

He throws the covers off, gets up to show you how erect he is.

‘Want some breakfast?’ Namjoon asks, fist curled around his cock.

‘If you make it,’ you say, not quite getting it.

‘I’m making some for you right now,’ Namjoon says, stroking himself.

You’re backed up against the wall, bra half on, looking at him warily.

‘Come on. Get this cum out of me and I’ll get you pancakes,’ Namjoon coaxes.

‘And waffles,’ you bargain.

‘Sure,’ Namjoon says, agreeably.

***

Breakfast at the mall turns into a trip to the bookstore because Namjoon wants to pick up another book whilst he’s here.

You look through books as he makes his purchase.

‘You going to Mingyu’s party next week?’ Namjoon asks.

‘I can’t, I gotta work,’ you tell him.

‘Come on, it’ll be fun. One night off,’ Namjoon says, coaxing.

‘I can’t. I’m gonna be short on next month’s expenses as it is,’ you tell him.

Namjoon lets out a low whistle. ‘That bad, huh?’

You look at your shoes. ‘Yeah, I don’t want to ask my dad, he’s stressed enough.’

You laugh. ‘I shouldn’t even be in the mall. I have so much work to do.’

You look up at him. ‘This was fun though, I haven’t been out like this in a while.’

‘You can borrow my notes from politics,’ Namjoon offers.

You snort. ‘You’re the one always copying off me!’

Namjoon laughs. ‘I mostly just look down your top.’

You punch him in the arm.

‘Or at your legs,’ Namjoon adds, unrepentant.

He deflects your next blow easily.

‘Come on. I’ll walk you home.’

***

Namjoon watches, vaguely amused, as Hoseok pulls out all the stops to impress a girl. 

The amiable nice guy persona. Check.

The cheeky smile. Check.

Then, the kicker, the twist in the tail - a suggestive comment, delivered straight-faced, just to show he’s not all sunshine.

He’s never seen Hoseok fail when he tries, and sure enough, the girl, initially indifferent, is now looking for Hoseok’s attention. 

Yoongi, beside him, murmurs his approval. 

‘Where’s your girl?’ he asks Namjoon. 

‘Which one?’ Namjoon asks, unable to resist.

‘Shut up,’ Yoongi says, giving him a look.

Namjoon can see the group of girls by the door looking their way.

He straightens up, sips his drink, flexes a little.

Yoongi sees the direction of his gaze, turns his back on the girls. 

‘This asshole schtick,’ Yoongi says. ‘Gets old quick.’

‘I don’t want to pretend to be a good guy and get anyone’s hopes up,’ Namjoon replies. 

‘She seems like she’s got her head on right,’ Yoongi comments. 

Namjoon laughs, short. ‘It’s not her I’m worried about.’

Yoongi’s looking at him carefully. ‘That’s what I meant, Joon-ah. She’s not the kind of girl who hurts people on purpose.’

Namjoon changes the subject. 

‘You looking to hook-up, Yoongi? White dress has eyes on you.’

‘Fucking always a white dress,’ Yoongi complains, but there’s a spark in his eye. ‘Like they want to get married or some shit.’

‘I think you’re the one with the marriage kink,’ Namjoon snarks. 

‘Shut up. Asshole,’ Yoongi snarls, but he’s already turning, acting like he didn’t know this whole time that the pretty girl in the white dress has been eyeing him hard. 

Namjoon scoffs, leaves him to it.

He has somewhere else to be.

***

Namjoon’d texted you he was gonna come walk you home after work, just so he doesn’t look like some creeper lurking out here outside the bar.

You come out the back door, a little tired, a little dishevelled.

You smile, and Namjoon’s heart does a dangerous swoop in his chest.

You’re the prettiest thing he’s seen all night.

‘Here,’ he says. ‘I got you a snack.’

You accept the sour candy, pop it straight in your mouth. 

‘Ugh,’ teases Namjoon. ‘I’m not gonna kiss you now.’

You shrug, indifferent. ‘I’ll kiss your cock instead. It’s never an ass like you are.’

You slip your hand in his as you walk, casual.

Like it’s not the first time you’ve ever held hands.

Namjoon wants to tell you how pretty he thinks you are.

Instead he asks, ‘What panties are you wearing?’

You say, gently, ‘Shut up, Joon-ah.’

‘Make me.’

You scoff, look up at him. 

See all the way through him. 

‘You’re cute, Joon.’

You are too, Namjoon thinks.

‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’

©hamsterclaw 2023

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen x HornerDaughter! Smut

Part 14 here’s the LINK for part 13. Tw- smut at the beginning of this chapter (handjob) dirty talk. Not much after that. Only a short chapter but there’s more to come, I’m cooking I can’t wait 😏.

Caught up in their ‘friends with benefits with feelings’ arrangement, Max and Leni make a promise that it’ll be the last time they sleep together. Will this work? How can the two even act around each other with the aching tension that lingers between them both.

Thursday November 2nd 2023.

“Leni, Leni.” Max cooed out, hips thrusting his throbbing cock further up into my hand. I hummed and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek bone, his skin slightly damp from sweating.

I picked up my pace, squeezing the head of his painfully hard cock and quickening the pace. Max tensed, his hand tightening around my wrist, harder and harder as I increased the speed. His breathing was heavy, bare chest heaving and falling, his skin covered by a sheen of sweat. He looked truly beautiful, I could barely believe it.

“Cum for me Max.” I whispered out a slight moan. He held his breath, seething in pure pleasure as he gasped out, watching my movements. We shared a sloppy kiss as Max began writhing against his hotel bed, moaning against my lips. I didn’t want to stop, ever. The sounds he was making was pure bliss, nothing could top it.

Max choked out, head falling back as he gave one last moan of my name before his body began shaking. I used my other hand, squeezing his balls gently as he let out a stuttered groan, his speed spilling out of his cock, all over his stomach, chest and my hand.

Max was panting heavily, his hand which had held of my wrist instead caressed over my bare thigh. He slumped slightly, resting his head on the pillow, tilting against mine comfortably. With one last breath of release, he swallowed and fluttered his eyes closed.

“You are so good, Leni.” He muttered out, dragging each word out. I smiled softly, scanning over his expression, his cheeks were flushed and his plump lips were parted, swollen from all the kisses we’d shared throughout the night. We’d had three rounds of sex, my hunger for Max was insatiable and nothing could quench it. Nothing apart from the press of his lips to mine, especially when we were both fucked out from so much love making. In those moments I felt vulnerable with Max, I had no care in the world. The minute I stepped out his hotel room, it was a different story.

“Why don’t you stay?” He spoke, just as I opened his hotel door. I paused, the door still ajar as I stared back to him. “Stay?”

“Stay the night?” He laughed like it was obvious. No Leni, it’ll only make your feelings stronger.

“Okay.” You stupid girl. The whole reason I was doing this was for ‘fun’ we semi agreed that, plus Max seemed to be enjoying it all as well. You see, I’d already pushed Max away once, I didn’t think I could or would ever do that again- but when I thought about how quick this was all moving since his last break up I couldn’t help but question if I was just a rebound. Technically, I knew it wasn’t true, but the overthinking was insane- the only way I’d stop it was by stopping what Max and I had going on. That wasn’t likely, I loved being with Max, and in the process I feared I’d fall in love with him too, but you see, that was the addicting part.

I locked the door once again and returned to the bed we’d messed up, climbing straight into where he held his arm out for me. “Getting in bed fully dressed?” He glanced down to look at me. “Mmmh.” I snuggled up to him. Max cuddled me tightly. He fell asleep pretty quick, or at least I thought he fell asleep.

“Max?” I gently spoke, stirring the man beside me. “Mmm.” He sleepily tightened his embrace around me, spooning me from behind and kissing my shoulder gently. “Just seeing if you were awake.” I whispered.

“Hm.” He simply responded. My hand rubbed over his arm. “Are we like… friends with benefits?” I then asked, causing Max to chuckle tiredly behind me. “That’s silly.”

“Then what are we?”

“Mh…” he tiredly stretched, letting out a sigh from beside me. “I don’t know, Leni.” His voice was slurred with tiredness. “Friends with benefits with feelings.” I laughed gently at his words.

“Maybe after today we should never have sex… for like a couple months.”

“Hmmm.” Max simply responded, tightening his embrace around me. “Whatever you want Miss Leni… no more sex after tonight.”

“When I said one night the other night, I meant it.” I half joked as Max snickered. “Explains why you’re in my bed now.” I rolled over at his response, smiling as his tired eyes glanced over me. “Turn of the light Leni, and shut up.”

I slapped his arm lightly as he laughed again, I reached over and turned off the light, before resting back against the pillow. “I meant it.” I smiled softly. Max’s lips stretched out into a smaller one. “I know.” He softly spoke, reaching out to brush the hair out of my face.

“It’s okay. I just don’t know how good I can pretend I see you as just a friend.”

“Well… you have to try, my dad’s catching on. So is Lando.”

“Lando?” Max responded with a scrunched nose. “Uh huh.”

“Whys that guy always in my business?”

“He’s in everybody’s business, Max he’s Lando.”

The following day, at practise, I tried my hardest to keep my eyes to myself. Except I’d find them gazing off into the distance to often spot Max. He’d gained P16 whilst Checo took P18, I knew it was all part of Red Bull’s strategy, I knew they’d bring it back for qualifying, and especially the race on Sunday. Max didn’t seem worried, so I went over and congratulated Carlos on P1, following shortly with Charles in P2. I don’t know a whole lot of Charles, just because I was closer to Carlos people always figured I was Charles’ bestie, and I’d read all the dating rumours online. Maybe six years ago I would’ve kicked my feet and giggled at those rumours, now I paid hardly any attention to them. When I turned around however, I did catch sight of a particular blonde man glancing in my direction. As soon as he noticed me he smirked and turned back. My stomach fluttered. Fuck. He looked so confident, borderline cocky, any other man would be borderline weeping to be in his position, but not Max. I tore my eyes away with a blush growing on my face, pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek. “Who are you blushing at?” Carlos made me jump. “Ah- not you, that’s for sure.”

Carlos smirked at my comment, glancing up and around the area before his eyes fixated on Max. His smirk grew smug when he glanced back down to me. I stole another glance at Max before shaking my head back to Carlos. “Shut up.”

————————————————————————

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[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

[yanderepuck]

Salai-Chapter 8

WELCOME TO SALAI'S ROUTE. This is a FAN MADE route of my oc, Salai. This means this route contains my headcanons for the characters and in no way is suppose to represent the canon story. This is just a fun little time because I know many of you enjoy Salai. Feel free to engage, talk theories, send asks (even to @ask-salai ).

DISCLAIMER: His route his not canon to his character. Also, all of his lore in not in the route for simplicity reasons plus please feel free to ask about him.

Banner by @spooscribbles

You finally get to the mansion after hailing down a carriage and you hurry inside.

Sebastian: Mitsuki!

You look over and see him and Napoleon rushing over to you.  Napoleon takes you in his arms and holds you.

Napoleon: Where were you?!

They sound so worried about you.

Sebastian: What happened?  Are you hurt at all?  Why didn’t you come home?

They start bombarding you with questions and then Sebastian sees the bandage on your arm.

Sebastian: You are hurt!

You haven’t even gotten a chance to say anything.

Napoleon: What?  

He lets you go and looks at your arm.  He then picks you up.

Napoleon: Let’s get you cleaned up.

Mitsuki: H-Hey!  I can walk!  Plus I’m fine.  It’s just a little scratch and Andrea took care of me.

Napoleon: Andrea?

Sebastian:  You mean that guy you went to lunch with the other day?  The one you just met and I told you to be careful around.

He would flick your head if you weren’t already hurt

Mitsuki: It’s not like that!  We spent the day together yesterday and I was going to leave-

Napoleon: You spent the day with some stranger?

Mitsuki: I've lived with you guys for a month and we’re all strangers

You pout.  Is it really any better?  Maybe you could argue that it’s different, but not by much.

Mitsuki: But I’m fine!  He took care of the cut and I stayed in his apartment for the night since it was too dangerous to go out at night.  He took care of me.

Napoleon: But did you-

Mitsuki: I slept in his bed and he slept on the couch

You already had a feeling that you were going to be asked that.

Sebastian: Well we should still clean up your arm

Napoleon is still walking with you in his arms, taking you to your room.  You pout the whole way, not wanting to be carried.  You just want to bathe and change your clothes.

Mitsuki: Can I at least bathe first?  I’ve been in the same clothes since yesterday.

Napoleon and Sebastian both hesitate to answer.

Sebastian: Fine.  But when you are done go to Arthur to look at your arm, okay?  

Napoleon sets you down finally in front of your door.

Napoleon: I’ll let everyone know that you’re back

~~

You spend a long time in the thermae, wanting to relax and think back on last night.  Why did you feel like that when he fell on you?  Did he feel the same?  He didn’t get up right away after all.  So many thoughts are running through your head.  You feel your face get flushed but just blame it on the heat of the water.  You finally get up and pat your body dry, putting on fresh clothes and wrapping your hair up in the towel.  You go back to your room and then you look at the cut on your arm.

It stings, but it isn’t deep and should be healed in a few days.  There was a lot of blood in the moment but it seemed to have closed up already.  You continue to dry your hair.  You might as well see Arthur to get it bandaged, you didn’t have anything to do it yourself.

You sigh and leave your room.  You go directly to the parlor, expecting Arthur to be in there, possibly playing chess with someone. And you were right.  Arthur was sitting there with Theo, and you knew Theo was losing with the look he had on his face.

Mitsuki: Arthur?

He had his back to you.  Hearing his name he looked over his shoulder and smiled.

Arthur: Mitsuki!  Glad to see you are safe.

He gets up from the board and comes over to you.  He immediately takes your arm and rolls up your sleeve.  In any other instance you would yell at him, but surely Sebastian told him why you were here.

Arthur: Go sit down while I get my things.

He leaves the room and you sit in the chair Arthur was originally sitting in.  Theo watches you and looks at the cut on your arm.

Theo: Are you okay?  What happened, hondje?

Mitsuki: It stings, but I’m okay.  I was on my way back and some man attacked me, but…a friend saved me.

You weren’t sure how to word it without going into too much detail, and you didn’t want to go into detail.  You are fine now and that is what matters.

Theo: I’m glad you are safe.  Maybe next time you need to go out one of us should go with you.

Mitsuki: Well… I do need to go out tomorrow… and I was hoping you would come with me.  Remember that painter I was telling you about, Andrea?  He’s open to the idea of having his paintings at the gallery and if you weren’t doing anything he’s happy to have us over tomorrow for you to look at them.

Theo was a little caught off guard.  Not the question he was expecting after the panic everyone was in over the night.

Theo: Sure.  If you think his paintings are good then I guess they are worth giving a look at.

Arthur comes back with a few things and kneels on the floor next to you

Arthur: Are you two making date plans without me?

Mitsuki:  It’s about the gallery

You let Arthur take your arm and let him do his thing.

Arthur: Right, that is coming up.  So what is it about this guy that swept you off your feet that I couldn’t do, luv

So Napoleon even told them that the friend is a guy, and that’s where you were

Mitsuki: It’s not like that!  He saved me and then let me stay at his apartment until this morning.

Theo: The painter?

Mitsuki: Yes, and nothing happened. We were hanging out, I went to his place to look at his paintings, and when I went to leave it was already late and I got hurt.  I don’t see why it is a big deal.

Arthur and Theo both look at each other, both having the same thought.

Theo: Hondje… how does that not sound like an issue to you?

Arthur: You barely know the man, and you went to his apartment

Theo: Sure that isn’t a normal thing even in your time

You pout.  You weren’t going to get through to them.  You can trust him and you know that.  He’s not dangerous and he helped you.

Mitsuki: It’s not like that was my first time spending time with him.  We went to lunch too and-

Arthur: So you got yourself a boyfriend~

He teased and Theo sighed.  There is no point in trying to explain to them.

Mitsuki: It’s not like that!

You felt your cheeks getting red, feeling embarrassed.  You stand up once Arthur is done bandaging your arm.

Mitsuki: He’s here looking for someone.  He’s not interested in me.

You quickly left the room storming down the hall.  You go to your room and lay down in bed.  Did you say that to get them to be quiet, or is it because you wanted to convince yourself?

~~~

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[babeczka415]

My Forever

Everyone hears those love stories of finding your one true love when you're little but for most it doesn't happen. However for me that's exactly what happened. Our moms worked together at a nursing home and we spent so much time with each other. It was that once in a lifetime kind of friendship to love. By the time I was 10 we were inseparable and everyone knew it. However, that all changed one night. 

He was spending the night over with my family as his mom had to work graveyard that month and there was a knock on the door in the middle of the night. We had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie and were woken up to knocks on the door and red lights in the front yard.

In the six years I had known Jake, I had never seen him cry until that night. The police officers let him stay with us that night but we didn't fall back asleep. 

I had seen him one more time since then at the funeral and he hugged me so tight. By the end of the funeral he didn't want to let go of my hand and I didn't want him too until the police and my parents pulled us apart.

He went into the system and while we tried to keep in touch with letters it eventually stopped when I turned 12 and my heart was broken. 

When I finally turned 18 I spent 5 years looking for this man. My heart was still attached too with no luck. I had finally given up and tried to move on but no matter what no guy meant the same to me.

Until HIM and I started texting trying to find his sister who was kidnapped. I was instantly drawn to him and there was an instant trust like I had known him my whole life. After everything we had been through we had fallen in love and decided to finally meet in Duskwood.

My heart was pounding out of my chest as I walked into the park. He had told me where to meet him and when I went to the spot he was already there leaning against a tree. I couldn't miss him as he was wearing all black during the middle of the day. I finally caught a glimpse of his eyes as I walked in front of him and my heart I swear stopped. He must have also because he pulled his mask down. 

Standing in front of me was Jake, my Jake. The man I fell in love with through texts, but also the same boy I fell in love with and was the reason I couldn't find love again.

Without even saying anything to him I run and jump into his arms and wrap my arms around his neck. I feel his arms around my waist and he holds me until he lets my feet hit the ground. He's staring into my honey golden eyes and me into his electric blue. I see his black hair fall down under his hood.

"Hi, Jake," I said with the biggest smile.

"Hi, my MC" he says with a smile back.

He always called MC growing up because he was the only one besides family to know my middle name abd while I started going by it when I turn 14 hearing him say it sends shivers down my spine.

I gently smack his chest "you have a lot of explaining to do mister. I looked for you for five years once I turned 18 and there was no trace of you" I say with a pouting face.

He leans in and kisses me "I will explain everything to you."

Jakes POV:

She hasn't missed a beat since seeing me. She's still that same playful, loving girl i fell in love with at the age of 13 and my heart never let go over.

I twist us so shes against the tree as Im holding her waist still. I know there's alot to catch up on with her.

"Just before i turn 18 i started getting in a lot of trouble with hacking. Nothing major at the time but enough to keep the police on my tail. I didn't reach out to you then back because I wanted to keep you safe." I sigh knowing these next words are going to be the hardest.

"I had contacted your dad the moment I could and he told me all about you. He knew the moment you turned 18 that you were going to be looking for me and to keep you safe from getting pulled into this life that I had to stay under your radar which is exactly what I did."

"You spoke to my dad but you couldn't reach out to let me know you were damn alive!? I thought you were dead Jake!" She yells.

I kiss her to keep her quite. When I finally pull away she looks shocked that I just did that.

"I know what you thought and I hated letting you think that after the promise I made you the night my world turned upside down. I had all plans on the day I turned 18 to enter back into your life MC. However with everything that was going on it wasn't the right choice to keep you safe."

"I think I'm more mad that my dad knew and didn't give me any hope" she says looking down at her feet.

Her looking away from my eyes has always been a sign she's upset, even as a child. It's one of the things I fell in love with. I lift her head to look into her eyes. "He did it to protect you. Honestly, as hard as it was not reaching out, it was always to keep you safe." I say as I pull her towards me.

"Jake, you're not allowed to disappear again from me. I don't care what you're about to say, I'm coming with you" she says sternly.

I know she's my forever and I want her safe but one thing I learned from her is she's stubborn and I can't stop her from doing what her heart wants.

[artbyaleksandr]

🐶🐱Gallavich🐶🐱 💚💙Intropost🧡🖤

HI  ~  MY 🐶🐱Gallavich🐶🐱💚💙Intropost🧡🖤 

  💗 from @callivich thank you 💗

I'm not good at English I use translate most of the time 🥺 I've been in this fandom for almost a year now. But I'm a shy person  😳 💦  and a foreigner  💦 I follow a lot of fics. (I read it every day for almost a year) I follow many Writer. I hope to get to know more people in the fandom  🌟

Name: (can be a nickname)

Aleksandr /  AA

Age: 

20 + 

What made you fall in love with Gallavich?

I really like the Ian S1  That's probably the whole reason lol I saw a video of Ian dancing in TikTok. At first, I didn't care. But it shows up in my feed a lot. Until I continued to study the character of Ian, so I knew Shameless and was a gallavich stan ever since. (I quite believe Ian is definitely a character that I will fall in love with because of his character. I'm really looking for something new and interesting and yes I quite like the TOP HOT character and the warm hair color and I like the Power Bottom pair.  I bet against myself. What if I went to study Ian's character and I found out that he was top I would follow and yes I guessed everything right lol )

How long have you been a fan?

Late 2022

Favourite Gallavich moment/scene?

I love the S1 moment, the scene where Ian visits Mickey. I fell in love with the Smile scene to this day.  😊

Favourite Shameless character apart from Ian and Mickey?

I like Lip, he's my favorite character. I like smart characters. I like him 3rd in the show and I hope he gets better with every EP and disappointed in the latter ss)

Do you write or draw or make edits? Feel free to link to your work!

I drew, you can follow me here.  In the future there may be 18+ images/CMS/open of requests.

 / Tw :  @ARTbyAleksandr / IG : art_aleksandr_aa

Favourite type of Gallavich fics? Are you into angsty canon type fics or maybe fluffy one shots, perhaps you like dramatic canon divergent stories or interesting AUs - share what tropes/genres you like!

Since I've been following I've read a lot of Gallavich fics, really a lot.

I like Alpha/Omega /AU royalty / Mpreg👼 /Wolf Vampire🐺🧛/Hybrid🐶🐱

/fantasy🧚‍♂️🧝‍♂️/jealous Ian

I hope someday someone will write a girl! Mickey, not Tran, 

I need a fic F/M 🥺💦

Favourite Gallavich quote?

" Likin' what I like don't make me a bitch. "

"I Can Take Care Of Him, OK? Let Me Take Care Of Him Until He's Better."

I love you, Mickey Milkovich. More than anything.

Anything else you’d like to share about yourself?

Hello, I love the character Ian BUT  Mickey is always the best character.  I'm a foreigner. Almost all of my language and reading depend on translate. My language is very weird I like talking But I'm pretty shy for for starting a conversation I hope to have more friends in fandom. I'm cute. I can love you as soon as you talk to me.  (I came from a fandom about Japan before.idk much about European culture. Most of my drawings are Japanese style. I like the type of dog/cat. 🐶🐱I hope I can practice drawing 18+gallavich and be able to post.

[yoo-jeongneon]

the sticky tab series | sticky tab one: 6B

× minors/ageless/empty blogs dni. you will be blocked. ×

× series masterlist × main masterlist × × <- previous × next -> × seventeen (ot13) x gn!reader genre: mystery, thriller, drama warnings: journalist!reader, former journalist!jun, explicit language, smoking, written as a journal entry in the first person, discussions about journalism, dates given in dd/mm/yyyy word count: 748 taglist: @hipsdofangirl × @strawberri-uyu × @asyre × @minhui896

name: wen junhui date of birth: 10/06/1996 date moved in: 12/02/2018

When I stepped into his apartment, the first thing I caught was the scent of tobacco mixed with a dried out reed diffuser. I couldn't possibly say what the scent was, but something tells me it was earthy.

Speaking of tobacco, one of the first things I learned is that Junhui is a smoker. I'm not, so I declined his offer. He wasn't rude about it - he spared me a 'suit yourself' and just sat down on his leather three-seater.

I sat on the matching two-seater. Comfortable, but judging by the wear it was likely a few years old. The dried diffuser was on a side table pressed against the wall on the other side of the room. The kitchen was to my left and there was a pair of double doors that opened out to a balcony.

Junhui apologised to me for what the man from 4B wrote in his letter, though he admitted while he knew a note had been mentioned, he didn't believe the man actually went through with writing and leaving it. The second he heard me mention his apartment name, it twigged in an instant. "I should've known that bastard would actually do it. Like I said he's got a propensity for pissing me off."

He asked me why I came to the building, informing me that he saw me arrive from his apartment window, pointing to the set of double doors. I explained my reasoning and he seemed surprised.

"No one ever comes to Drawbridge. People just snap pictures from afar then run off to write bullshit about it." It didn't surprise me that the residents here knew of the reputation. He took more hits from his cigarette as he continued. "And you told me you were ready to turn and leave when you realised people lived here, but you picked up the phone."

He caught me with that. It is true that I had picked up the phone. I fell silent for a while as he studied my expression.

"I get why you did," he said, "you're a journalist at the end of the day. Like I said, I share your experience. I was a freelance journalist at one point. No matter what, we'll take any chance to get a story."

I couldn't believe I was sitting here, having this conversation. I did not expect to turn up to find out there were thirteen residents. I also didn't know at the time what was to come..

I told him, "I am not here to, as you said, 'drill holes in your walls'. In fact, I will be ready to leave after this conversation."

Junhui stared at me then. "I appreciate you not wanting to do that. Though I must admit, it might quell some rumours about this place.."

I raised an eyebrow. "And what of you trying to keep your solitude?"

"I can wish for solitude while wishing the reputation didn't exist."

That struck a chord. I wondered how many other residents here felt the same way. At the time, I considered I wouldn't be getting those perspectives.

"I suppose.. as long as you don't go ahead and make this whole situation public in the way only a journalist would-" He gave me a knowing look; I held back from rolling my eyes. "..Then I suppose I can tell you a little something, former journalist to current journalist."

I didn't know how to respond. Initially, I wasn't going to take him up on his offer, but I already felt that I'd made a vow.

I pulled out my journal, to which he smiled. It was rather frustrating in its smugness but.. it was clearly the smile of understanding.

'I share your experience.'

Details of note from our discussion:

junhui was the fifth person to move in

junhui took 6B as he felt it had the nicest kitchen

project drawbridge almost didn't go through

several investors were sceptical of its tenancy power

junhui doesn't know who lived in 7B

7A is the only person who knows about it (and he hasn't shared that info)

junhui doesn't get on well with 6A

junhui stopped being a journalist in 2021

3A doesn't talk to him because of his experience in journalism

people have made small efforts to remove the 'silent dweller' name from searches after learning what the project name is

3B was the last person to move in

× yoo-jeongneon ×

[newsie-collective]

Splasher

Quickfire Favorites

Food: “Lasagna. All fuckin’ day. Does not matta when or where, it's always lasagna.”

Color: “Light blue, like the sky on a clea’ day.”

Season: “Early summa. When the weatha’s warm, but not overwhelmin’ly hot.”

Weather: “Sunny an’ warm, but not hot.”

Hobby: “Swimmin’. Life just feels betta in the wata.”

Animal: “Giraffes.”

Memory: “First time I gotta whole dime for one pape. That was when I knew I could make it as a newsie.”

Comfort Item: “Ain’t got one. Don’t see no use in havin’ a lotta stuff.”

Second gen US. His parents were young kids when they moved to New York from Italy

Knows minimal Italian. He was never formally taught the language by his parents, he just picked some up

The scar is from a fall when his hip gave out. He was climbing up an old fire escape with Graves when it happened. He thinks it’s embarrassing, so there’s always a different reason

“Fought a shark”

“You should see the otha guy”

“My pops was an evil bastard” (not a lie, but not how he got the scar)

Graves comes up with even crazier stories for how he got his scar

“Fell from grace”

“Got it crawlin’ up from hell”

“He fought Bigfoot and WON”

Considers Graves his best friend. He was there during the accident and didn’t tell what actually happened

Used to wear caps but kept losing them

After losing the third cap he just said fuck it and stopped wearing them 

Lowkey faked his own death. There was a bad fire in the apartment building where he lived with his family, and quite a few people didn't make it out. Once the fire died down, he got just close enough to watch everyone go through the rubble. He saw his parents find what they believed to be his body and realized he could be free. He never looked back

Doesn't talk about life before. He's scared he’ll have to go back to his parents if they find out he’s alive. 

If he thinks he sees his parents, he’ll duck into an alley or hide somewhere until they’re gone

It’s not them everytime, but he has seen them. Turns out, he’s got a little brother now… He hopes they treat him better

He tried to introduce himself to his brother once when he was alone. He panicked a bit and just ended up awkward trying to sell a pape

He was not successful 

Panicked when someone asked his name for the first time after running away. He was so close to saying “Adam” but totally stuttered

He ended up saying he didn’t have one

The next day someone saw him jumping into the river and called him Splasher. It stuck

Swims to help alleviate the chronic joint pain

Once he’s done selling for the day, he’s in the river

Hates the colder months bc it’s just constant pain

Cannot remember a pain day lower than 6/10

Will not admit to the pain

Probably thinks it’s normal

“Wait, you mean you don’t have days when you can barely walk?!?”

Jfc this kid can climb. If he’s not in the river he’s climbing up something

Will sleep on the roof if weather permits

Always outside. If he’s inside, the weather is absolute shit or the world is ending

He’s kinda like a human Waffle House Index in that sense

Like every other newsie, he absolutely adores Miss Medda. Has gone over to Manhattan several times just to make it to one of her shows and try and catch her at the stage door

Stole flowers for her once

Will flirt to hell and back to sell papes

Has flirted with the wrong people…

Playfully flirts with other newsies. Has probably gotten into scraps with other them about flirting with their partners

Mush had to physically restrain Blink once. Splasher told Mush he had the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. Blink was standing behind him and almost soaked Splasher on the spot

Jack is the only one he won’t flirt with for some reason

Despite all the flirting, he’s not all that interested in finding a partner

High sleight of hand. Doesn’t use it much but can absolutely get his hands in pockets and purses

Pickpocketed during the strike to try and help himself and others through not selling

This is coming out totally definitely on time and not late at all 😬

👻

[thelocal-idot]

Day 11 : Yuta & Hinata Aoi - Death: Beheading

Song: Servant of Evil & Daughter of Evil - Mothy

TW: Death, Beheading.

Cw: partial shipping moments because one of my friends really likes Yuutai and KohaAi.

Please do not read if this content triggers feelings of panic and anxiety.

It will swap between third and first person view. And it is mostly in Hinata’s pov

I was your loyal servant, and you’re this country’s King. Us, a pair of pitiful twins, burdened by the destiny we share. But I will let the fires of hell consume me if that’s what must be done. I will play my part, so you could shine, my sun. On the day of our birth we were separated for reasons we would never know. I would no longer be able to hold my sweet little brother’s hand.

Even if the whole world plots your demise, and to extinguish your light. If they feel the need to make you break down and cry, don’t worry for I will always be on your side. So just smile for me, it’ll be alright

He smiled, his brother he cared for dearly. If it came to be he would burn the world for him. He would play his part as his king’s loyal servant, and protect him from harm.

While running errands, he met a beautiful man with hair of pink. He had a smile and voice that was sent from above. Something within his heart stirred, perhaps it was even love. However the pink haired man had loved someone else, a man with hair of gentle blond. But all good things must come to an end, he knew that well. As for these were his king’s orders, so the man of pink must repent.

“I will always grant your wishes, if that’s all I live for. So tell me my sun, what causes these rains to pour?”

I am your loyal servant, and you’re this country’s king. Us, a pair of cursed twins, bound to a bloody fate. I called and served you brioche and your favorite tea, and as you clapped your hands your hands with glee. Your smile was so sweet and innocent, how could you ever be as evil as they say?

Soon it appears this country will meet it’s fate, torn apart by it’s own people. Those who have rebelled claim justice will be brought apon us today, but I will not see that through, they will not get their way.

He pulled his brother over, and hugged him close. His sweet and adorable brother, who would always get his way.

“Give me your clothing, and we will switch places.”

“You must flee, you’ll be alright for we are twins.”

“They won’t know, so dear don’t look back and leave.”

I am only the double, and for you I would take your place. While the true king runs free, I submit myself to take your place. Us, a pair of broken twins, dammed by a cruel destiny. If you are a devil, and your name is cursed by the masses, then im a demon too, for our blood’s one the same.

As his head rested on the guillotine, he awaited his end to come swift. With a glance at his brother, he smiled sweetly. The tyrant king who ruled with an iron fist at barely the age fourteen. The ‘son of evil’ who doomed would finally be brought to an end.

“But the stories lie, for he was my precious little twin.”

If the whole world plots to extinguish your light. The bells finally rung announcing that it was time. If they feel the need to make you break and cry. I could feel my heart break with each passing chime. Don’t worry, my dear, I will be right by your side. You avert your eyes, staring up at the sky. So just smile for me, it’ll all be alright. The bell whistles as you call out my line.

“Oh, is it tea time?”

The guillotine blade fell, his head falling onto the ground below. The crowd cheers happily, while the king hidden under a cloak stood before turning away. Running away, tears stained his cheeks, his brother now gone. He fled far away, for his sin had taken his only friend, and his brother away.

I am your loyal servant, and you’re my precious king. Us, a pair of pitiful twins, burdened by our destiny. I would let the fires of hell consume me if that’s what must be done. I will have gladly played my part, as you could shine, my sun.

“And if the day comes.. we are reborn again.”

“It’d be nice to play with you again..;”

“So I’ll wait for you till then…”

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

so imma share the reason i’ve been on hiatus beccause its a fucking whirlwind of a story and i need to fucking vent

Background - for those who doon’t know I worked for michael mouse in florida on the pastry team for one of the parks. the kitchen i worked in was shared with culinary and pastry.

ok so story - 

so all of this started at the beginning of September. I went to a housewarming party for one of my bestfriends and her new apartment. It was me, 4 other pastry people. The friend who owned the apartment, her boyfriend, her brother, and 2 culinary guys i never met before. So the party's good were having a great fucking time, shooting shit. Then all of my friends start roasting me for the fact i drive like a cop. So i argue back, It’s not my fault yall drive slow and shitty. And were arguing and one of the culinary men pipes up and defends me and automatically i was like “SEE HE GETS IT HE UNDERSTANDS ALL OF YOU ARE Fake FRIENDS” after that the party was fine but i felt a spark with that man . After the party when I'm home in bed i text 2 of my friends like “is he single and what do you guys think?” and everyone was like omg yall would be cute there's definitely chemistry between yall. Skipping forward he sees me in the break room and talks to me quite often then he adds me on Facebook and he dms me and we start chatting. I find out he has a girlfriend.

 Time continues we talk every fufkcing day, he compliments me and then it starts turning flirty. (He still has a girlfriend still) Now i will admit. I flirted back, I said things i shouldn't have to a man in a relationship and that's my fault. I am not innocent. continuing though, me and this man talked about starring a family together and once he leaves his girlfriend he wants to court me (I have a 3 month rule i won't enter a relationship without dating for 3 months) . I fell in love with this man. I will not lie. but i was essentially an emotional side chick.

Skip forward to November early November i go to dinner with me, him, the friend who had the housewarming, her boyfriend, and the other culinary guy from the party. The whole dinner was good afterward he walked me to my car. At my car he tried to kiss me, i leaned away from him. Because i can’t kiss a man in a relationship but i can plan a family with one (stupid i know) fast forward to thanksgiving in America, the last Thursday of November. He tells me hes going to break up with his girlfriend FINALLY. So i am texting him the day after he was supposed to break up with her and turns out he didn’t and they were going to work on their relationship. That was my breaking point. I snapped, cussed him out and told him I’m not being a side chick. I’m Number 1 or im no one. Then i told him to tell her or someone else will. Then that night after work me and my friends are in the breakroom talking and my friend shows me this app called ‘yik yak’ which is an anonymous posting app to people within a certain perimeter. I knew that his girlfriend worked in the same park so i said fuck it and posted ‘hey so and so this guys cheating on you lol good luck’ she anonymously messages me and asks for proof and i tell her my name and where i worked and how long we had been talking. The next day i get a text from him saying ‘she broke up with m i hope your happy i don’t know if it was you who did it but congrats on getting what you wanted’ I replied ‘wasn't me but good for her’ i lied and continued on with my life. Proceeded to became an alcoholic for a bit to cope with the fact i fell in love with a man who had a girlf4reiend. For the rest of December im working and dealing with life and through all the people i know and talk to i hear about 2 other women he had supposedly been sleeping with at the same time he was talking to me and had a girlfriend. Then his ex girlfriend talks to one of my closest friends and spills everything about their relationship. Including the fact that she was previously 3 months pregnant with his baby. she miscarried (Side note she's 19 he’s 28) so hearing all of this I'm like wtf. Because the whole time from the time i knew him he said that they had only been together less than a month before we started talking so I'm baffled, I'm disgusted. Not only was he emotionally cheating with me, he was physically cheating with 2 other girls WHILE HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS PREGNANT!! So I'm angry I'm upset that i let myself be involved with such a person. Skip to the day after Christmas i get a merry Christmas i miss you text from him. My response was along the lines of ‘how funny it is you text me after i hear all of this shit’ he calls me that night and we get into an argument, he denies sleeping with the women but confirms her being pregnant at the time. we don't talk after that. 

January he comes back to the kitchen and i have a breakdown because that's the first time i had seen him since everything happened . He had be temporarily reassigned to another location for the slow season so mid November to January. I ended up getting drunk that night and messaging him just to say hi because he told someone he wouldn't talk to me unless i talked first to give him space. We continued to talk after that. 

So now, we still talk. Not as often and not nearly at the level of friendship we had before. I still deep down love him but i feel as if it wasn’t him i loved but a fake person because he lied so much so i can't believe anything he says. because i hold these feelings still i cant just block him and move on. However, i no longer work for the company due to an injury and am in the process of moving back to Michigan. I received a text from him telling me he was in a new relationship. I had suspicions about who it was because he told me in December he had been talking to someone. but today i got a text from a former friend of his now a FRIEND OF mine. She confirmed it was one of the girls he was sleeping with. None of this surprises me but i also got a text from him wanting to hang out next weekend. Mind you before this he insisted we don’t hang out because he didn’t think he could control himself around me (he told me this like 4 days ago) so.....

idk why i’m sharing its just been so much and i feel so much shame and guilt. I feel dumb for falling in love with a man that has a sex addiction, is an alcoholic and has anger issues. I’m mad i got blindsided with flowery words and i’m mad i continue to entertain someone who is literally the worst. I am such a bleeding heart that i have a very hard time blocking people or cutting them out of my life. I don’t want to hurt people. But at the same time i do want to be toxic asf and destroy his life. I plan on going to therapy once my move is complete because this situation has me so fucked up. I hope i can get to a point where i don’t want him in my life and i feel as if i am clse to that. I am starting to feel contempt for him and more disgust than anything. I am dealing with an injury and am already having to restart after losing my dream job over this so i’m dealing with alot and a stinky shitty man doesn’t need to be added to the list.

[of-the-underworld-and-sea]

My Cats

So of course I can't make a post about my cats without the proper cat tax, but I just wanted to tell the stories of all my cats, how I got them and where their names came from. In chronological order because I can't show favoritism!

So first is Kindle, almost 8, the black and white Maine Coon on the left of the first picture. Yes, he is named after the e-reader. No I didn't actually name him, I just kept it. So Kindle is the son of a stray someone at my mom's job found. When they went to get her spayed, they were basically told, "Yeah, we can't do that, she's pregnant with six kittens." I'd been waiting to get a cat for about a year since I'd followed my family to Florida, so we got to lay claim to one of them.

So where did his name come from? Well, their young niece had lost her kindle (the e-reader) and where did she finally find it? With mama and the first kitten, who was surprisingly large since his mama was tiny. So they named him Kindle. At first I thought it was a silly name and I would immediately change it, but he looked just like one of my childhood cats who passed young, and I couldn't come up with anything else. So I kept it and honestly, I love the minor chaos his name being the same as a e-reader (which I'll admit is the kind of e-reader I actually own lol.)

Second is Darrion, 4 turning 5 in a couple months, the gray and white tabby with Kindle. Ah, Darrion, I do love that kitten nugget. She's absolutely my familiar and stuck with me for this reason, and I love her so much. My first apartment, soon after I moved in, one of my roommates and I found her and her siblings and decided to take them in and get them fixed since there was a huge feral cat problem in our area.

She hated us the whole time. Wanted nothing to do with us, wouldn't even look at us most of the time, and would his and scratch at us. So I named her after a bitchy ex-coworker. I didn't know I'd end up keeping her, and honestly I do love the name Darrion a lot. It just didn't come about the best way. Anyways, so once we got her and her siblings spayed/neutered, we released the girls because we thought they were too feral and would be happier, and at least they wouldn't be able to have kittens and make the problem worse.

Our neighbors picked up her sister, but Darrion stuck around us. She'd wait for me to get home from work, she'd walk with me to the mailbox, and just hang out with me outside in general. There was a bad storm one day, so since I knew she was healthy and flea free, I let her in with Kindle and I to wait out the storm. Well, they were instantly best friends, which if anyone knows cats, they know how rare this is. They never fought once, and still haven't. They play, they snuggle, they clean each other, but no fighting. So she joined the family.

And last but certainly not least, Saphiya, age around 2 now (though they said she was two when I got her, but there's just no way according to my vet) the gray one in the solo picture. This little one, though not visible in the picture, is a tripod. I met her at a cat café with my brother and sister-in-law, and immediately fell in love. I didn't need a third cat, I was at the time in a crappy tiny apartment (450sqft and no proper AC in Florida) but I needed her. I'd been walking to the back of the café to meet another cat I saw, and immediately this little goof was yelling at me like "hey, I'm here too" from her hiding spot in the corner. She came hopping out and I knew I needed her.

She'd only just lost her leg recently, she was still shaved from the procedure, but you'd never know it from how she got around, though she has only gotten better and better balance since I adopted her. I named her after Sapphia from the webcomic High Class Homos, who has a prosthetic leg and a big personality, just like my little Saphiya.

And that's the story of my cats! I just felt compelled to share, because really, who doesn't love hearing about cats?

[second-accounts-blog]

The day my world burned

Description- 2 childhood best friends get pulled apart due to one of them moving away. After his 18th birthday he goes to see her and finds out shocking news that nobody would want to hear nor believe from their best friend…

________________________________________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 1

"Lucy! Lucy!" Little 5 year old me would run as soon as I saw my best friend. "Cas! Hi!" She would smile back. We would always play together by the beach, swim and make sand castles. That was my whole world

"Cas. I'm gonna marry you one day." Lucy says out of nowhere. "Okay! But why?" I ask, I've never thought of marriage, I was 5. But I didn't hate the idea of marrying her, she was my best friend since birth basically. "Well," she starts, "you're really nice to me, and your my best friend and you make me really happy!" She finishes with a smile. I smile back, "I wanna marry you too, Lucy! With the same reasons." I tell her. She smiles bigger. "Then it's settled! You're my husband and im your wife." She says with a little nod and a serious tone in her voice. "Okay!!" I say back. I loved Lucy, so I wasn't gonna try and say no to marrying her.

I came home and instantly told my mom I was marrying Lucy. She laughed, "I always knew you'd end up together. You're practally attracted at the hip with that girl." She said. She'd always say that about me and Lucy, we were always together so I see why.

On Lucy's 10th birthday I wanted to give her a gift. I got her a little charm bracelet I made last night, her favorite colors, purple and pink, were the colors of the beads, and her name was on the bracelet in letter beads. But as soon as I went to hand it to her, it fell into a drain under us. "No!" I screamed like the world was ending, "I'm sorry!" Lucy apologized like it was her fault. "It's okay, Lucy.. I made it 'specially for you. I don't got nothing else for your birthday." I admitted, feeling bad. "You can always make a new one! We're never gonna stop being friends, so you can give me another one at anytime. Just because it's my birthday, doesn't mean I have to have gifts. I'm just glad you showed up.. nobody else did." She sighed.

A few days later, I was told we're moving. "What? How far?" I asked, devastated because what about Lucy? "We're moving to LA, your dad has a job offer there and there's better places there to live than here, baby. I promise it'll be better for all of us." Mom tried to reassure me, "But mom what about Lucy?? She might forget me!" I start crying. How could I go without seeing her? I've been with her since we were barely walking, I can't leave her now. "Cas.. Lucy won't forget you. She loves you too much." Mom tells me. I don't respond, I'm too upset to respond. How am I gonna break it to Lucy that I'm leaving?

I wait a few days to tell her, actually I waited until the last day. "Hey Lucy? I gotta tell you something, but promise you won't get upset?" I hold my pinky out, waiting for hers to get ahold of it in a pinky promise. "Um, I guess?" She takes my pinky in hers. "So. I'm, uh, I'm moving to LA tomorrow.." I say really quietly. Lucy freezes. "Did you say that you were moving tomorrow? Or am I hearing things?" She holds back tears. "I'm moving to LA.. tomorrow morning," I start to cry as I hug her, "I don't wanna leave you, Luce.. I really don't." She hugs me tighter and cries as well.

———————————-—————————————-—————————————-—————————————-—

There’s some other chapters. I personally think this story isn’t the best but I legit tried 🫡 also ik it jumps a lot from ages and shit, but I didn’t know what else to put/I had to shorten it up by a lot as well. So just ignore the jumps. Thanks.

Other chapters- Chapter 2. Chapter 3 Chapter 4

[serenemy]

somes stories need retelling

another entry from the mystery tome:

“many years ago when i was very young i worked with a man whose first name is so unique i daren't use it. it was just the two of us and the job was very exciting. many movies have been made about this job, the people who do this job, and people doing this job together falling in love. i did indeed fall in love with this man

this was before i became a lawyer. (i was already a witch)

first he became one of my closest friends. that's how it works for me. i can't date for neurodivergent reasons so i fall for my friends. and this guy was one of my favorites. we went from working together to comingling our social groups to hanging out alone together all the time for non work reasons and eventually we were spending every weekend together and sleeping (separately) at each others apartments. i was head over heels, walking on air, all the things you are when you are sure it is about to happen

standing together in a public place with a group of people someone mentioned his fiance. that's how i learned he had a fiance who had been out of the country for more than a year and was still out of the country

he had never hit on me nor made any move to do so. but it was weird that we could have become so close over such a long time and the whole time he had an entire fiance he never mentioned?

I have said before that i won’t be party to a lie, especially one told to another woman, and especially if she is or will become a mother. infidelity (including emotional infidelity without sex) is the most destructive force known to humanity. you might as well napalm your family; it’s the same level of destructiveness

but he wasn't married yet and i didn't know all the things i do now about the world. tbh though i'm not sure i wouldn't do the same again

what i did was i told him. i'd never wanted to marry, which he knew. but i said i'm in love with you and if you feel the same way please don't get married to someone else. this is what he said

he said i do love you and i do feel the same way. but i also love and feel that way about her. and i'm already on a certain path with her. and there's nothing i dislike about that path. i like it. i just accidentally fell in love with you too

this broke me. it is only the second (and last) time i have ever hurt in that way

our work came to its scheduled end not long after. she returned to the country and the marriage went forward. theoretically or technically or something though he and i were still close friends (who just did't mention entire fiances to each other) and with now somewhat overlapping friend groups. in those capacities we continued to see each on occasion. on one such occasion, not too long after the wedding, he made known that i could be his mistress

this broke me again in new and different ways. ways i hadn’t imagined

i said no

i still dream at night sometimes that i am back in the warm light of his attention, feeling again the way i did in that brief time after i was so sure he loved me back and before i knew for sure it could never be. i wrote this for him, a million years ago: "in a universe without light i could find you from the sound of your soul.” it's not the only thing on this page i wrote for him

but i would say no again. every time

if you are wondering if he is the dragon you have missed the point of everything, i hate you and you should never come to this page again”

******

what was the job? and is the name so unique general members of the public would recognize it? did they stay in touch or did that moment destroy even the friendship? the tome is so disorganized it’s difficult to determine at this juncture whether the story is ever addressed again therein