#so the main character gets a power up
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the dynamic of demigods thinking which other demigod is the most powerful is always amusing to me because. like, we know the big 3 kids are all the most powerful. That's just a fact of their universe. And then we know nearly every character views Percy as the strongest demigod, and most people are very rightfully intimidated by him.
and you look at the powers of the Big 3 kids and there's Percy, but then you realize Nico is just kind of objectively more powerful than him but simply chooses to hang out in Percy's shadow like he's Percy's scary dog privileges. Like, the two of them are pretty equally capable of causing multiple different apocalypses. Nico just also has like four different instakill powers and it's not like he doesn't use them. He very much uses them! Not infrequently, even! And they don't seem to take a significant amount of energy from him! And other demigods are pretty intimidated by both of them! But Nico makes a conscious point to keep his cards close to his chest and not let on exactly how dangerous and scary he can be if he wants to. People are already scared enough of him without knowing anything about him and he doesn't like that. Percy doesn't think about that nearly as much, and so usually just goes in guns blazing and that's part of why he's considered a wildcard. And then Nico himself puts Percy on a pedestal, so those who do know more about Nico's abilities then presume Nico knows something they don't about Percy that implies Percy is even stronger than him.
And even on a meta level Nico's narrative role requires him to be functionally more powerful than Percy, because he very often serves the purpose of getting Percy out of situations he can't handle on his own. That's just part of his function as a character! But also narratively he can't overshadow Percy so he just takes a backseat of his own accord and that's very amusing to me.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#nico di angelo#i will also note it is implied though we never see that Hazel has the exact same powers as Nico#and Hazel has trained with her powers way longer than Nico has plus is older so theoretically is more powerful already#she killed a giant all by herself. sank a small island. and successfully subdued Gaea for like another 60 years#so given that + her also having Nico's powers then *Hazel* is theoretically the strongest demigod no contest#Jason and Thalia end up kind of nerfed by the plot in that neither is allowed to overshadow Percy either#but they dont play the same roles that characters like Nico do - Nico keeps getting stupid abilities just for convenience factor#and Bianca never got the opportunity to use many powers besides astral projection/dream manipulation and similarly hades kid illusion stuff#and general ghost stuff. and she does all that as a ghost really. her killing the skeleton wasnt even her powers that was just a normal sta#and it was just by virtue of her being a hades kid and fulfilling the ''can kill these skeletons'' requirement that it blew up#technically she also showcases underworld immunity with the lethe stuff wearing off but that's very subtle#Hazel also doesnt play the same role as Nico and so doesnt get to showcase all that#plus is similarly nerfed with the ''cant be cooler than Percy'' constraint and so never gets to really do anything#even though logistically she is the most powerful and should showcase the full extent of her abilities to the same degree as Percy and Nico#Jason at least gets a little bit more wiggle room than Thalia being a main protagonist#Nico just gets the most wiggle room out of both not being a protagonist and being functionally a dues ex machina most of the time#versus Thalia or Bianca who are only ever secondary or supporting characters
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iām jumping into the fray. I think thereās a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itās sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and Iā¦ Donāt agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of herā¦ ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnāt matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatās why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itās always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laiosā words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youāre great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iāll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheād follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheād follow him to the ends of the world, and thatās what she did.
She didnāt care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnāt even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentās directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donāt think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itās being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itās as simple as that, mind you, but letās talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyāre the ones sheās devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnāt care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatās the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canāt tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheās in there, we just donāt know at what degree), that we donāt know her enough to be able to tell when sheās at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatās very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheās so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canāt read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see thatā¦ Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnāt care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheās speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donāt cross her mind then of course sheād be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnāt make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnāt exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheās ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereās this aspect to her that she isnāt as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereās something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheās friendly and hopefully thingsāll be smooth sailing. Itās easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donāt care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnāt do what she does because she lovesĀ them, but becauseĀ sheĀ loves them.
One situation thatās interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iām trying to get at, is Shuroās proposal to her. Iāve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnāt feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canāt say no, I donāt want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itās actually canon in the Adventurerās Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnāt feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itād have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheād want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereās even a bit on it on Laiosā Adventurerās Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itās an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherās needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnāt she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatās convenient for me, but where itās everything to him and heartfelt Iām able to be detached because I donāt care about it that muchā¦ Can I do that? Iām not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itās not what youād expect, isnāt it?
And central to my analysis, where Iām going with this is, I feel like thatās the thing with her character, that she doesnāt feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnāt mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnāt seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnāt seem to care about how theyād experienced her choices.
So itās a tendencyā¦ And itās not that she doesnāt care, itās just that the way she measures whatās good for the ones she loves isnāt the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itās an overt but quiet kind of care, itās doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroās proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheās thinking about reciprocity, about if itād be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatās a big part of her character isnāt it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheād been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerās Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iām hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnāt react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnāt remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnāt finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iām saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroās proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itās rather layered, because canonically she wasnāt aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weāre not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnāt being mistreated (though doesnāt ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheās very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheās worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefās daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheād notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheās careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itās a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheās not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroās proposal, doesnāt want to lead him on? Sheāll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnāt feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatās here too. She doesnāt get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnāt change that she doesnāt want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itās just that sheās learned growing up that she doesnāt have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheāll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheāll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heās pushing her away (because he doesnāt want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themā And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnāt notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheās always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnāt try hard to rectify the dogsā misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneās presence isnāt something you ask for, itās something thatās bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canāt ask them to stay or to come with.
Sheās used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheās learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnāt want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itās the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnāt that Iād feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donāt regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iām sorry that youāre so much more upset about it than me". Itās the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itās the autism itās the aroace of it all, itās the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itās the feeling like youāre somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iām not joking btw it isnāt uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youāre uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonāt feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itā¦"
Soā¦ Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donāt think she actually cares about people all that much. Iād argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnāt mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itās pretty straightforward really, sheās not all that social and doesnāt see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itās not as much likeā¦ A conviction or goal. Sheās too laser focused on a select few people. "Itās not that theyāre bad people, they just arenāt interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnāt her whole world or that she isnāt the kindest soul out there then youāre saying she doesnāt care at all or sheās evil. And thatās actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itās not in a way thatās quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donāt have the same logic as her, donāt show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iām making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnāt uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereās absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereās enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iāve chosen this angle is I feel itās more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinās character arc as Iāll go over throughout the next sectionā¦
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. Andā¦ā¦. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canāt tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheās dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to justā¦ Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatās what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
Thereās excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, andā¦ Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinās choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonās wasnāt done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheās stripped of her agency consistently, and soā¦ Itās very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinās own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iām going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosā wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itās something thatās consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itās always been Laiosā curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, butā¦ On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itād be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereās someone you donāt like, you can gobble āem up in one bite. If you could fly, youād be able to leave this village right now." Itās a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But youāll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnāt want to leave knowing theyāll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosā care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnāt to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnāt to stay and see how well his friends will live, itās to go. Itās to leave. Itās to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itās again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnāt, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itās Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itās a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyāll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyāre away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itās like to have what sheās never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youāre a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youāre a beast and you can justā¦ Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youāre at the bottom of the hierarchy, youāre now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think sheās on autopilot. I think sheās on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itās partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itās familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatās what is weaponized when sheās a chimera, that instinct sheās been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnāt matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnāt mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheās trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youāre probably seeing the duality Iām talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donāt recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnāt care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheās undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itās text, in the response to Shuroās proposal extra no less. And sheās so laser focused on her most loved people that sheās fine with being callous and risking othersā lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with herā¦ Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her tooā¦ In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatās not palatable. But she doesnāt care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnāt for a while now, and thatās great.
Notes & nuance
Iām struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itās difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereās this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itās ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnāt fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinās character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itās just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canāt just pull it up whenever itās relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerās Bible profile if you havenāt already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnāt seem to mind others ostracizing her, itās easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheās bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leaderā¦ Thereās one istanxe of her caring actually, and itās about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosā said it and as I rambled Laiosā words are her world, but actually itās ambiguous. Itās only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereās no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handā¦
Her Adventurerās Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinās struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnāt like being called cute over it, but thatās not how she wants people to see her. She doesnāt want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Hereās a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donāt seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itās more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnāt keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ātroublesomeā. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearancesā¦ A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerās Bible profile) itās just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donāt think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersā sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatās not personality wise itās needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatās the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnāt know what she wants because everything sheās done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnāt change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnāt ask things from people and doesnāt hope for more, hope for better. I donāt think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itās less āappearing stoic to fit in moreā and more āyeah iāll just chill until Iām needed or something activates my enthusiasmā. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canāt be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivityā¦ I want to speculate about Shuroās proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donāt know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroās proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donāt think it was as simple as āshe wanted to say yes for convenienceā. Logically itās what would have been best, but itās not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnāt think sheāll get proposed to again, itās that self-effacing tendency that yes itād be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnāt in it, because if itās convenient then thatās more important than her feelings on the matter. Man alsoā¦ Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnāt get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinās whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheās master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheās for sure there & influencing the dragonās action to some degree. Having a dragonās foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereās Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereās the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereās the Adventurerās Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itās her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itās interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheās described as Thistleās guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iāll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheās still at the heel of someone, only now itās someone who doesnāt care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itās suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatās part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnāt unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weāve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iāll lay down my life for you" point? Iām so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnāt it cool?" gestures of showing things to herā¦ Itās the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itās the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same timeā¦ I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iād usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereās a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo importantā¦ Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnāt mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenāt seen each other in a while or when theyāre alone, and yes thereās potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonāt be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same wayā¦ I hope Iām making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donāt know if thatās allowed, if theyāre going about the social interaction the right way, if theyāre allowed to ask that out of someoneā¦
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnāt see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinās actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnāt see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheād see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleās world, Laiosā is at the center of Falinās, and I tend to agree.
Itās fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereās how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereās how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereās an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donāt really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. āIf you die do it somewhere where I canāt seeā styleā interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donāt vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnāt needlessly against ghosts. And Falinās sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itās not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverās needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
Iām working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinās dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosā is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnāt care all that much, sheās very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnāt really care because thatād require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itās more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheās canonically very genuinely kind, but itās more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheās passive, and softspoken because thatās just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olā mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheās shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereās also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereās a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinās case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheās sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatās it donāt hope for more donāt ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheās not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
Thatās it, ty for reading. Even if itās a bit of a mess, hopefully youāll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereās my spotify playlist for her if youād like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveās important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donāt#get that many moments with her. So thereās ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iām doomed. Iām getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itās mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youāre expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heās here too bc they are an unit#If youāre not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinās character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyās child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheās hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laiosā¦ Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iād like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iām not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youād prefer. It doesnāt have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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no but it's actually insane that tommy shepherd was introduced with the lore that he accidentally blew up his high school, and his first public action as Speedā¢ļø is blowing up the UN building, and then marvel proceeded to go "so his power is just being fast, and his twin gets to fuck around with the fabric of reality, and he gets... nothing!"
#i think tommy should get to be more powerful. pretty please.#i think he should be absolutely tearing shit up after the 3rd death of his boyfriend#(2nd death to happen while theyve been dating)#he's so main character he even has divorced parents give him the spotlight give him everything#tommy shepherd is such a good and fucking underused character and sw&q (especially issue 3) has reminded me as such#tommy shepherd#marvel comics#young avengers
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time to make your choice only you can be the one
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag#caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot#first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles#settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from#being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities#bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au#is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon#that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but#twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk#what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt#really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the#game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in#a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform#ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho#ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of#harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps#king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t#he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else#art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing#n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside#from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc#bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta#n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)
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Finally finishing totk
#Totk#Art#Comic#Link#This one gets main blog privileges lololol#Context: I had beat 1 dungeon and promised my buddy not to progress without them. I was just filling out the map and these guys appeared#Totk spoilers in the tags#Okay so here's my totk story because it hurts everyone I tell including myself#First time I played totk I got really fed up with the tutorial. It would just never end.#I got so fed up with it in fact... I never did the story. At all!#My buddy wanted to watch me do the story but we kept missing each other#So I ended up avoiding anything even tangentially related to plot#I never met any characters. Never even knew there were bosses and dungeons. Never entered the castle#And one time my buddy told me there was the awesome boss in the depths I could fight-- a king dragon. Woaaahhh#I made my way over there and was so ready for this epic battle and ended up killing it in 5 seconds. I was too powerful š#Keep in mind I did NO DUNGEONS and had grinded up the dynamic difficulty entirely through common enemies to the point of silver lynels#So yeah I stopped playing because I realized I was way too overpowered to start the story#So I started all over again. Finally doing totk the Intended Wayā¢#Uhh... Doing one single dungeon raised the difficulty to the point of black hoglins appearing?? What???#I'm basically rushing every dungeon (I just finished the second one) without preparing at all or doing any shrines#(I killed colgera while dying from cold damage at 4 hearts because I ran out of cold res LMFAO)#So this is really testing my Zelda skillz. It's very fun.#Also. During the first dungeon. I was so obsessed with the kid I almost looked up how I could keep him as my companion#My buddy was so excited for me to find out what the reward was for beating the dungeon ššš#What else funny... Oh yeah my old save was so jank I never actually got any more than 5 hearts.#Yes I had to defeat lynels mostly hitless since they can kill you despite the mercy quarter heart#I also went to do the first dungeon on the first save and accidentally entered the ship without the child. It TRAPS YOU INSIDE.#It doesn't even give you a warp it just says ādie or warp outā. Except I didn't get the shrine halfway up. So I decided to hoverbike out š#Oh yeah and it turns out you can ABSOLUTELY get the master sword so so easily.#She flies right past the water dungeon and phases out of existence near immediately it's very funny.
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āI want a kids cartoon with more diverse main character body types than just skinny teenā you guys couldnāt even handle Steven Universe
(Or Dead End Paranormal Park, or She-Ra)
#su is a wonderful introduction to diverse body types methinks. i mean the main character is literally a chubby boy#all other crystal gems have. yk. variety.#and yes itās mildly dependant on their gem type but then youāve got chrs like amethyst#who has a major character arc about not being like those around her and being āāwrongāā#part of which has to do with her body! sheās short and chubby and doesnāt look buff!! slowly seeing her accept that is great#steven universe#this is more so su focused but still#dead end paranormal park#she ra#she ra and the princesses of power#(also yes the skinny teen thing is abt amphibia#i know they eventually get aged up or whatever but all three still have the same body type to me#sasha having mildly more buff arms does not mean anything to me iām sorry)#((toh also kinda falls under this tho donāt get me wrong#but at least its got willow. and hunter if you wanna count him as non-slim))
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why does the pjo series have to unnecessarily villainize goddesses (hera & athena) or show them as silly ladies (aphrodite & demeter) BUT posiedon and apollo are somehow shown as the coolest/most likeable gods, even though arguably, they're right after zeus on terms of corruption?
ares shown as the worst god after zeus and hera amuses me. last time i checked, he was the patron god of amazons and literally killed a man for attempting to rape his daughter but guess who cursed women for rejection? apollo. guess who raped women when they said no (aside from zeus)? posiedon.
#all the gods and goddesses in the greek mythology are flawed in their own way#it doesn't make sense why the books were so unnecessarily biased towards certain gods?#it bothers me specifically that hera and athena are SO unnecessarily painted as villains#while posiedon is ācoolā dad āgreatā lover ādecentā god āreasonableā than other olympians#i get it he's the main character's father of a children's fantasy novel so rick painted him in a good light#but my man? then why are you painting other gods who are arguably just as bad as him as WORSE#shut up i feel strongly about it#i love the percy jackson series#but i hate how the gods are portrayed#is trials of apollo a good series? yes#does it make sense why he's shown as a human-like god with redemption arc#while hera is reduced to āevil stepmomā and ābitch to annabethā even if apollo is JUST as bad as her?#no#and aphrodite is not some āsilly fangirlā whose personality revolves around shipping percabeth#she is powerful terrifying and cunning who can bestow some of worst revenge on those who offend her#demeter is not a silly crop goddess#her love for her daughter was so strong it almost ended the world and destroyed mankind#shes in charge of harvest and agriculture without her humanity will starve to death#shes just as powerful as the big-3 or at least she should be#posiedon is not this cool perfect rational god#medusa would disagree demeter would disagree pasiphae would disagree odysseus would disagree#apollo cursed women posiedon raped yet ares killed a rapist BUT nooo let's make ares the bad one#percy jackson#rr crit#greek mythology#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?
Evidence below the cut!
can be pretty hyperactive, forgets things regularly (even important things, forgot he turned into a heartless in kh1), distractable, later on he seems to have some problems with emotional dysregulation. hes constantly called lazy by his friends but as soon as hes doing something he likes he has all the energy in the world, and also tends to dismiss his own intelligence despite actually being pretty smart, both of which are things that i think are decently common with undiagnosed adhd
#poll#noncanon adhd character#kingdom hearts#kh#sora#kh sora#sora kh#kingdom hearts sora#sora kingdom hearts#THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG TAG RAMBLE#ok first sora even getting posted is like a saga#originally i was going to post him myself but had trouble verbalizing evidence#so i asked my discord friends#and then i forgot to write down what they said and lost it#then he got submitted in the initial submissions right when the blog started#but the only evidence was 'look at him lol'#so he was unpostable#then he finally got submitted again during the recent spike with actual evidence!! so i can post him now#sora is so important to me#kingdom hearts is how i found playframe and that community is a huge part of my life now#and also i spent multiple years playing a weekly ttrpg campaign in a completely homebrew kh system#and it was the most fun ive ever had in my life and i am not exaggerating#there was only one other non dm player so three of us in all#and we had such a great dynamic we are such close friends now and the dm even looked up tips for dming for adhd players#and gave my character the ability impulsiveness which turned out to be one of our most powerful abilities#(i say our bc later we got the 'sisterly bond' ability which allowed us to use some of our coplayer's abilities and impulsiveness was one)#it let me take an action during someone else's turn at the cost of one less action on my next turn. basically taking it early#making her adhd one of our most powerful tools#and my character ended up very much a sora parallel despite not living in the time of the main kh games#so yeah. kh and adhd sora specifically. very important to me
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i hate when there's a government that's supposed to be evil in fiction but all of the stuff they're doing to show they're evil is counterproductive because i gotta be like, no, i'm not objecting because it's problematic, i'm objecting because it's ineffective
#let me run your Dark Conspiracy i could do it SO much better#if i may get into specifics here:#they kill or otherwise neutralize anyone at the highest level of magic b/c they're threats#which is fine i guess#but also: even if you're just having them twirl their moustaches#brainwashing (which they CAN do) them would be 1. better for the government (100% loyal very powerful mages)#2. dramatically better (a main character's childhood friend could show up and not remember him etc)
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I miss Mei so much you donāt understand :( bring her back AidaIro. Also Yako and Hakubo
I hate how the school mysteries (other than Hanako, Mitsuba and Akane) get there one arc where you really get to know them and care about them and then they just go away forever. GIVE THEM BACK PLS AIDAIRO LET THEM OUT OF THE CLOSET THEYVE DONE NOTHING WRONG
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#shijima mei#yako#tsuchigomori#Tbhk no.6#like I feel like they add so much#there all so fun#Iād say Sumire to but like you know.. rip#they could be silly little side characters to do silly little things#like I feel like we got that in the beginning with Yako and Tsuchi they would appear in little side arcs with one or two lines to help out#Yako can teleport anywhere and Mei can bring anything to life she draws??#why arenāt those powers used more??#at least Kako and Mirai get two arcsā¦ and get mentioned by Akane every once in a while#how are you gonna write Mei so well and then sheās just gonna never been seen again#sheās like big foot at this point#itās not that I donāt love the main cast but I love them too and I feel like there so underused#I feel like the whole 7 mysteries thing is kinda underused#apparently there proxies for god?? how the heck does that work?? like I understand mystery but I also understand 117 chapters and I info#they have a meeting like once and that was really cool do that again#or twice if you count the one where Hanako just rolled up to Tsuchi and was like ima break your shit#I chose to believe Hanako invited the rest of them to that meeting but they all chose to not show up#on that note in what way is Hanako the leader? heās not the oldest#heās not the strongest..#(you know cause Teru solos him ez and Hakubo solos Teru ez)#no one even listens to him so like???#anyway bring my girl Mei back she deserves it
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Agatha: Coven of Chaos is a better name for this series, they went with 'Agatha All Along' to piggy back of the popularity of the song from Wandavision. Agatha All Along makes sense for the song in Wandavision cus it was Agatha All Along. In the new show it makes more sense for it to be 'Agatha: Coven of Chaos' cus it's about her, her coven and the covens before that she killed to make up the story of the witches road.
#the show isnt just hers its her coven that why each episode was setting up the coven or another coven members story.#Agatha's the main character but the covens are what drives the story. Agatha got out of Wanda's spell cus Teen needed the Witches Road.#Thr Witches Road is fake made by Agatha to get power from witches. She needs a coven to fake trying to open the nonexistent door#she gathers a coven who believes in the fake witches road to get her power back. i believe if nothing happened she would have said it went#wrong and sent teen on his way. but something did happen cus teen is wiccan and if he believes it becomes true. they travel on the road and#each episode gives us a look into each coven members reason for being on the road. but some die#they die so who comes along? the og green witch and Agathas ex Rio. everything goes back to Agatha and her chaotic coven.#agatha all along#agatha: coven of chaos#agatha harkness#agatha coven of chaos#also another name AAA could have been was Agatha: The Lying Witch with Great Wardrobe#....... wtf? who thought that was a good idea#or Agatha: Darkhold Diaries or Agatha: House of Harkness but they settled on Agatha All Along
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// wip day.
i'm working on a new project that is (for once) not connected to any of my bigger original universes, so i thought i'd share some of the writing i have for it! taglist down below, feel free to take this opportunity to share your own wips (in a separate post of course) if you have any!! the first part is a sort of introduction to the story, from the perspective of main character marshall! the second part is a snippet from a scene much further into the story, to kind of paint a picture (for both you and myself lol) of what the setting and the tone of the story is gonna be like. it's a bit different writing than what you're used to from me so please take a moment to read the warnings first!! warnings >> blood, cult, death, implied cannibalism, gore, religion, violence
God won't speak to me.
He spoke to my sister when we were eleven, her howls echoing through the backyard of our childhood home as the venom of a wasp spread quickly through her veins.
He spoke to my mother the day we buried her oldest son, the hem of her alcohol-stained dress torn where it had caught on the thorns of a blackberry bush she had blankly passed through.
He spoke to my father the day he put the barrel of a .44 in his mouth, reenacting what he had classified a sin for all the wrong reasons, his trembling finger on the trigger strong enough to rip apart the last tendon holding our family together yet not to finish the job.
I was eighteen, when I was found on the river bank near Overture, Louisiana, the sharp end of a jagged knife plunged deep within my side and my bloodied hands clutching the cross necklace of my brother, my breathing akin to the ice cold shallow water grazing at my ankles as I stared up at the star-spotted sky with glazed over eyes, blue chapped lips shaped in the final hum of a prayer.
A black abyss stared back, a strained vacuum without comfort, leaving me with a plea unheard and the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
And God did not answer.
'Gotta digā¦ Just gotta dig. Gotta get 'em out of thereā¦ Gotta take 'em homeā¦'
The physical distance between Marshall and the grave did not muffle the continuous mumbling, the shaky voice of the young priest clear as day like a whisper directly in his ear as the eerie silence looming over the church's cemetery left him with not much else to focus on. He knew he should turn around and leave, at that hour of the nightā get back in his car and return to Posey in the motel, get some sleep while he still couldā yet curiosity held him tight within its grasp, and each step he took pushed him closer into the wrong direction.
'Just the bonesā¦ Just the bonesā¦'
The man was hunched over, back turned towards Marshall and partially obscured by the few last rows of gravestones stood between the two of them. His neck twitchedā a sudden and unexpected movement at an angle Marshall did not hold for possible, yet it had happened entirely too fast for him to clearly see.
'Hey, is everything alright?' he called out; well against his better judgment, hairs on his forearms standing up straight as his feet carried him another few inches closer to the priest.
And the closer he got, the more he wished he had listened to himself.
If he had just turned away, he wouldn't have had to notice the unusual and unplaceable noises bubbling up from the priest's direction. He wouldn't have had to realize the priest was sat next to a coffin, yet to be lowered into an undug grave. (A curious practice, but Marshall was not one to judgeā Overture'd had to endure a rather tiresome series of curiosities as of late, and an unburied corpse in the middle of bumfuck Louisiana in the midst of a yet to be explained power cut would be the least of its problems.)
'Just the bonesā¦. Gotta digā¦ Gotta bring 'em home.'
'Do you need help?' Marshall persistently asked, his voice muffled by the thrumming of his own heart in his eardrums while his eyes trailed over the coffinā splintered and shattered at the lid, the glimmer of the distant church lights barely enough to reveal the outline of an axe resting on the dirt at the priest's ankles.
'Have to do it, there's no other way. Gotta dig, gotta dig, gotta digā'
'Hey!'
Marshall should have never stayed in town.
He realized that now, as the priest's obsessive muttering came to a sudden stop forcing Marshall to hold still tooā yet he had already approached too closely, and realized that no dirt had been dug in at all, and realized that the priest's hands were instead stuck inside the coffin repeatedly plunging deeper and deeper into the rotting remains of the corpse inside, once white vestment covered in blood and gore and he stared up at Marshall with a faint glow in two milky white eyes and with a wide grin exposing bloodied and shattered teeth, much akin to a predator looking at its next prey.
'Just the bones,' he repeated, the nodding of his head nearly belittlingā as if to convince Marshall this was how it was supposed to be, as if to convince him the Word of God was not to be neglected and his fate as a sinner was a gift to the Divine Light and as if to convince him as long as he would not struggle it would all be over soon.
'Gotta dig.'
Marshall could not move, lamb to the slaughter as the priest rose to his feet with the axe in his hand.
'Just the bones! Gotta take 'em home.'
taglist (opt in/out)
@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;
@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;
@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;
@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @aemondtargeryen, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian;
@estevnys, @elgaravel
#tag games#nuclearwriting#PLEASE IGNORE IF THIS IS NOT YOUR THANG!! IT'S FINE!!! i just reaaaalllyyyyy wanted to share this because it's like#the first bit of actual writing i've managed to get done in a VERY long time ;_; and i'm pretty proud of it#if you DO read it. i hope you like it :] <3 if you recognize the tew2 inspiration in it i am giving you a kiss on the forehead#anyway yes so this is an actual separate story to any other kind of worldbuilding you've seen on my blog so far#i love connecting stuff together to create huge overarching universes but this is just a standalone thing :]#marshall is the main character he's a trans man who's managed to run away from overture after the above mentioned stabbing incident#and he has to return MANY years later for a funeral. and then after an unexpected!!!! eclipse cuts the power in a large area#he and his sister posey end up stuck in town. and then!!!! strange things start happening. like what the priest is doing. =D uh oh!
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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Cards š cards š cards š (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Damned#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#You may remember my DAX card - cough - and also my Stanley card! Also cough huh actually lol#Stanley's looked much more like this tho#Which would be because they're all part of the same printed set!#I actually have another like dozen-ish of these#Might show 'em off in the end-of-year roundup š But for now it's just these guys! The sillies!#In very legible ink lol - I can read it and they're my notes so that's the important bit#I think Thrax's last name would actually be ''Roja'' tho so that's on me#Also why is Drix called Drixenol when his full first name is Drixobenzometaphendramine - where's the L come from#I've been Jonesing - pun intended - to fill out Ozzy's ''personality'' section for aaaggesss#I keep trying to pick at a scene with him and it's just not turning out! Need an easy-overview of his traits and features lol#I did actually have a new idea after making these so I think I was onto something lol#He has a very fun character type āŖ He's oddly socially aware for how annoying he can be! He does it on purpose!!#Drix is the exact opposite so they're great contrasts to each other hehe <3 Drix Tries to be helpful and fumbles it but he's so earnest!#Also finally got me decided on their room placements - so much easier to coordinate them at Night with that square#They don't have roommates Yet but based on who was inhabiting which rooms originally....o3o It's an idea isn't it hmmm#I went and read Thrax's description on one of his wiki pages as well and he was described as ''Cold'' and I was like uhm???#Like yes he does kill in cold-blood - he's pretty unflinching and indiscriminate with what and who he aims his fire power at#But with his hot-headed attitude and overall heat aesthetic I have a difficult time calling him Cold exactly - cool for sure! Haha#But yeah I dunno about that - he's also a nerd which I find very fun haha sets up a powerpoint presentation for his thugs#And just ends up doing the main bit himself anyway! He just likes to talk about his plans hehehe#It really is double-fun to have them all from different points in their timelines ahh āŖ Who and what they know so fun to play in#The secret-keeping and surprises are my favourite part! Mismatch and uncertainty! Love that#I also had a lot of fun with their background splashes :) Ozzy gets blue cells - Drix gets his pills and some fizzles#And Thrax's cell-destroying fire and flames were stylized so cool! Also has a bit of a pollen look as well! I enjoy
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