#so the fact that he went to all that effort to literally lie to us

[the-kneesbees]

band directors new thing is pretending that he thinks we're special

[descendant-of-truth]

That said, I do think that Shadow Generations being such a more carefully cultivated exploration of Shadow's past compared to what the original Generations was for Sonic is... not doing Sonic himself any favors

General audiences are already kind of under the impression that Sonic as a character is fundamentally not that deep or interesting, and Generations was written during a time that really, really wanted to prove that notion right. Sonic "being deep" was what, seemingly, caused so much critical backlash, so to counteract that, they gave us the blandest cutscenes Sonic has ever had the displeasure of being in.

But that's not really what Sega is trying to push for, now. Frontiers wanted to be more serious, with a mature, down-to-earth Sonic. The movies gave him an origin story that inherently makes him a lot more complicated than usual. Prime put the focus on his emotions and gave him a character arc that lasted the whole show. The IDW comics can get extremely serious, and we're treated to Sonic's inner monologue as he wrestles with difficult choices. They clearly want Sonic as a character to be interesting to people, not just a vehicle for action and quips.

But putting the old Sonic Generations in the same package as the new Shadow Generations is inherently portraying them as equivalent experiences. When Sonic explores his past, it's no big deal - just another day on the hero job! Absolutely nothing worth exploring on his end when it comes to meeting his past self and revisiting his memories! Nope! No need to use time travel as a way to explore his core values as a person who prefers to live in the moment and not be bound by his past, no siree!

Oh, but Shadow? Now that's the actually interesting character! Revisiting Shadow's past is such an exciting event that it requires the whole year to hype up, and Sonic's just so boring in comparison, isn't he? Who really cares about Sonic beyond his surface-level characteristics anyway, right? The Sonic Generations remaster is more of an accessory to what's essentially Shadow the Hedgehog 2 at this point, and that bothers me.

Sure, Sonic doesn't have "a backstory" like Shadow does. But the past that we explore in Sonic Generations isn't his literal origins, but all the adventures we went on with him. Imagine how much depth you could wring out of him if you just took those events as being legitimate parts of his life that he has feelings on! Feelings we could explore!

But because it's a remaster instead of a full-blown remake, all of this effort they're putting into Shadow's campaign is nowhere to be seen in Sonic's. Can you imagine how good of a package deal this would be if Sonic's character was given this much care and respect, too? Like, we have two Sonics, but Shadow is getting more than double the favoritism.

And the fact that this is only going to continue to push the idea that Sonic is just. incapable of being interesting, or even really affected by what happens around him is really frustrating. We already have the movies and Prime drastically changing his demeanor and core traits for the sake of making him "able" to have character development, and as much as I love those versions as characters, it's really doing a disservice to who Sonic is supposed to be.

The last thing we need is for Generations to come out again and make the Sonic from the games seem like the least interesting version of him. Bringing Shadow up should not involve dragging Sonic down - they're supposed to be equals. But this game doesn't seem to be showcasing that very well, on account of essentially being two games written by different people haphazardly mashed together.

People being introduced to the series through this game are going to have such a skewed perception of what Sonic is like as a person, as well as what he's like compared to Shadow, and that just. makes me kinda upset not gonna lie

[alicent-vi-britannia]

The narrative importance of the Ragnarök Connection

Charles zi Britannia believes that humans are liars. His ideology is based on the fact that the suffering of the world comes from deceptions and, for this reason, the Ragnarök Connection consists of destroying the set of masks that people use in front of others to force the people to be themselves. This isn't a hive mind nor the literal destruction of the world. It's about, in Jungian terms, destroying the Persona archetype (the face we decide to show to others, not the one we truly are). This way people wouldn't have to lie, they could understand each other and conflicts would end. Sounds good, in theory. The problem is that the emperor's plan involves eliminating free will and individuality, which reflects Lelouch's parents' rejection of human nature. Charles' view of humanity is quite simplistic, binary and dismissive. That's why Charles appears painted red and blue on a background of the world in the opening.

Lelouch and Suzaku reject this vision and this plan. Lelouch says that people still lie for good reasons (a purpose) and Suzaku agrees, claiming that they may lie to protect others like Euphemia and Shirley who kept Lelouch's secret. Lelouch understands that masks are necessary and are part of people's identity. He proves it in the last interaction he has with his father. Nunnally's smile is a mask, but that doesn't make it fake. It's her way of accepting her unfortunate fate and being grateful that she is still alive and is with her loved ones. Lelouch is aware of this and accepts her mask.

The Ragnarök Connection involves the elimination of the effort that humans must make to learn and empathize with them. Consequently, no new experiences are forged and nothing evolves. And, if nothing changes, life loses total meaning and becomes empty. An empty life is a life without a future or hope or purpose. That's what Lelouch explains to CC and Rolo.

Lelouch tells CC in the seventh episode of the first season: "Until I met you I was dead. An empty corpse existing behind a false guise of life, a life in which I did nothing real. Day to day, I merely went through the emotions of living as if I were a zombie. And I always had the feeling that I was gradually dying. If I’m condemned to go back to that, then I’d rather…"

And then he tells Rolo in the fourth episode of R2: Rolo, what is the future? The future is hope. Without hope, your life is on hold, empty, waiting. And you have no hope beyond your mission, Rolo. If you capture C.C., what sort of future will it open for you? Things will just go on as they are, and nothing will change.

Code Geass often uses Lelouch to emphasize the importance of having a purpose in life, even if all the characters demonstrate it in one way or another. It is one of the main themes. For Lelouch, Zero/the Rebellion was always that future. However, in this episode everything is questioned because Lelouch discovers that one of the reasons for his revenge is false because his mother is alive and, furthermore, his rebellion was part of his parents' plan (and CC to a lesser extent). Given this, he reaffirms his individuality and his will.

God/C's world is the human will, which means that it is a collection of the wills of all the people who have ever existed, including Lelouch's. He activated his Geass, not to use it on God, but to influence it. At that moment his will was so powerful that he not only convinced God to stop his parents, he also increased the power of Geass and unlocked it in his other eyeIt's important to note that he made a wish, instead of using Geass, because that differentiates him from his father. While the Emperor intended to bend the C's world to his will, Lelouch doesn't want to do so. He saw himself reflected in his father. They both suffered in the past and wanted to change the world for the better. The thing is Charles was trying to impose peace and although he had good intentions, it was an evil and selfish act. Lelouch realized he was doing the same thing with Zero, technically.

In this way, Lelouch understands that the end doesn't justify the means since his parents sacrificed everything for their ends and, as a result, lost themselves and their motivations. Humanity's sake or, what is the same, "reunion with those from whom we are separated" was the lie that Marianne and Charles used to convince themselves that they were right and were the scapegoat to justify all the sins they committed and allowed to be committed. Lelouch reveals their hypocrisy by pointing out the unconsciousness of their statements. Although Charles and Marianne took Lelouch and Nunnally away to protect them, they didn't seek justice for the crime committed, instead, they became VV's accomplices by using Charles' Geass on Nunnally and then they did not stop the war between Japan and Britannia because they wanted to get the Thought Elevator on Kaminejima Island for their plan. In the same way "Nunnally" was the scapegoat and the lie for Lelouch in his rebellion, however, Lelouch is honest with himself and recognizes that his true motivation was to protect the people he loved. This sincere display is what persuades Suzaku to work with him once again.

One of the main unknowns of the series is "do the ends justify the means?" Suzaku says, "No, the means determine the ends and that's why I will follow the right path by trying to change the unjust regime from the inside while keeping my integrity intact." Lelouch says, "Yes and I can be this manipulative, control-freak leader over these 'pawns' if it means stopping Britannia/saving Nunally." The series answers that neither is completely correct and that both have their advantages and disadvantages. Lelouch and Suzaku end up realizing it here. Suzaku says, "If you want to achieve that end, you must act." And Lelouch says, "Yes, the means to that end requires me to reject something." That is, both must sacrifice something to achieve their goal.

In short, the narrative objective of this scene is to show us that Lelouch and Suzaku understand what humanity wants and establish themselves as defenders of free will, as well as accepting the virtues and defects of the human condition. It's in the nature of men to lie and be confrontational, but they also dream of a tomorrow. Ultimately, the Ragnarök Connection is the final stage for Lelouch and Suzaku's evolution. Thanks to this plan, they perfect their ideals, manage to unite and are able to save the world. It's an important moment that solidifies all the themes of the series and sets the foundation for Lelouch and Suzaku's final plan: Zero Requiem.

PS: If you think this analysis blew your mind, hope you see it from the perspective of Joseph Campbell's monomyth :P

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie was…struggling to say the least. And by the end of the first week of sticking around this city, he was completely out of ways to rationalize what the fuck he was still doing here. 

Indianapolis was just supposed to be a pitstop after visiting Wayne. Then, he was supposed to see Chrissy in a few days, spend some time in San Francisco before jet setting around the world for his year-long vacation. But instead here he was, avoiding Chrissy’s calls, opting instead to take the coward’s route of sending cryptic texts and reassurances that he was fine. Despite the fact that he’d canceled his flight a few days ago. 

And for what? Some hot guy he had only seen twice? That he couldn’t even get past first base with?

And while technically it was the best date of his life, that didn’t exactly warrant whatever the fuck he was doing here. And that wasn’t even mentioning all of the fucking lies. 

It was safe to say that he was floundering over here. Which was so fucking stupid. He was Eddie fucking Munson for God’s sake, not some lovesick highschooler. And he was sure that there were many easier flings to be had in his immediate future if he just left. This was when it was time to abort the mission right? He hadn’t gotten what he wanted, and that was that. 

So why was that so hard to accept? Why was he so fucking obsessed with this dude? Eddie had no fucking clue. Well…maybe he had some clue. Because Steve was funny. And he was smart, adventurous, and interesting enough for Eddie to want to know everything about him. Not to mention painfully attractive. And then add in being a complete sweetheart on top of everything else. 

All Eddie knew was that he wanted to see him again. And leaving now felt…wrong. Because Steve liked him. He obviously liked him, or at least Eddie really hoped he liked him. He at least liked him enough to give him his number. And answer his calls.

They had been talking a lot in the past few days. Historically, Eddie had always hated phone calls, especially when a single text could usually save you a half an hour of awkward small talk. But with Steve…it was different. Everything with Steve was different. They didn’t even have to be talking about anything important. They spent an hour and a half the other night debating over plot holes in the Lord of the Rings franchise. 

He had been calling him from the hotel’s room phone, adding in yet another lie about forgetting his cell in his non-existent fumigated apartment. But he didn’t feel too guilty about that one. Especially since he went through the extra effort to buy a new real (fake?) cellphone. One that he had purchased specifically for talking to Steve with. Because no matter how much he liked the guy, he wasn’t breaking the cardinal rule of keeping his real number a secret. Not after the insane shit fans sent him the last time it accidently went public.

No, he did the much saner thing of dropping eight hundred dollars on a smartphone and an extra phone plan that he’d only use to talk to the dude he’d been dating for less than a week. 

He really was killing it with the circular logic these days. And it was getting harder and harder to ignore. This whole…thing had gotten away from him. And it was becoming a touch too insane for Eddie to keep rationalizing the lies. And it wasn’t even his usual brand of insanity, this felt almost clinical. 

But that didn’t stop him from dialing Steve’s number the second his new account was officially activated. 

It rang twice before Steve answered, “Hello?”

God, even the sound of his voice was enough to make Eddie shiver. 

“Hey it’s me,” Eddie said like a moron. Like Steve would recognize his voice after one date and a handful of calls-

“Oh Eddie, hi!” Steve said, and Eddie could hear the smile in his voice, “That’s so weird. I was literally just thinking about you. I’m guessing you got your phone back?”

It was the smallest bit disconcerting, that just the sound of his voice was enough to make Eddie’s heart beat like crazy. He was kind of used to being the guy who made people nervous, not the other way around. Though he had to admit, it was a little exhilarating to be on the other side of it.

“I did. And you were huh? What were you thinking about?” Eddie purred, more than a bit proud that his voice didn’t sound as shaky as he felt.  But if he was ever going to fuck this guy he needed to amp up the charm.

But unfortunately for him, Steve was very good at throwing him for a loop, “You know those Afghan Hounds with the really long hair? Well I just saw a black one that I swear looked exactly like you.”

Eddie barked out a laugh, loud and unbidden, “God, you really know the way into a man’s heart don’t you? Who doesn’t like being compared to a dog?”

“It was a very pretty dog,” Steve tried, “Extremely cute.”

Eddie laid back on his bed, smiling at the ceiling like an idiot, "You think I'm pretty?"

He couldn’t see him, but Eddie could swear that Steve was rolling his eyes before saying, "I think you know you're pretty. You’ve seen a mirror before right? Y’know, the shiny things that show your reflection?”

God, he could be such a little bitch. Eddie freaking loved it.  

“Well now you’re just making me blush,” Eddie laughed, hoping that it came off as a little sarcastic instead of painfully honest. 

“And I bet that’s pretty too. So what's up?"

Oh y’know, just obsessively thinking about you near constantly, “I was just wondering when I would get to see you again.” 

"Well, my sister's going to be at her girlfriend's place tonight. How do you feel about coming over? I know it’s late but-”

“I’d love to,” Eddie interrupted, already excited. If that wasn’t a green light for them going further Eddie didn’t know what was. In a few hours it would be nearly midnight. And Eddie was more than down for a booty call, “When?”

“Maybe a few hours? I can text you the address. I’m sorry that my schedule is so fucked, but y’know. Night shift.”

“No worries. Guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Looking forward to it.”

From the latest chapter of this fic, inspired by this post

[thatdeadaquarius]

Sobbing and crying just saw your post of us sounding like a Sim, and I am DYING.

What if it went the other way? They can understand us, but we can't understand them!

Us : hey so what the fuck is happening why tf am I in genshin impact

Them : OMG ASKSKSKSKS FEDERRRALL MEERKK TREEESO! (Omg it's the divine God I'm shittinh myself oml) or whatever idk)

Us: excuse me what the fuck did you just say about my mother? (US mishearing or maybe the words are randomized? Who knows)

Everyone just being confused and frustrated on why you can't understand them. Is it because they aren't worshipping you enough? Maybe some friendship level BS where obly those who are lvl 10 can understand u or smth? Who knows, certainly not the Creator.

I highkey am thinking about writing smth for this now but having it be for like each archons reaction or smthin but who knows. I just wanna see a bunch of divine beings confused outta their mind in like whatever cities square and it turning into a "holy game of charades"

Also happy early birthday ajdjdjkdkdkdk

I”M SO LATE SO THANK YOU FOR THE BDAY WISHES LMAO SORRY KARMA MY BELOVED

AHHHHH U INSPIRED ME BY THE ARCHONS HOLY GAME OF CHARADES-

AND OH NO LVL 10 ONLY FRIENDSHIP UNDERSTANDING-

(づ ￣ ³￣)づ here have a hug for your patience- sorry karma!! :')

LMAO this inuyasha gif- obviously everyone else guessing what ur doing and the 2 others r like ppl like Venti or Kaeya who r just fucking with ppl by joining you lol

OK BUT WHO DO U HAVE LVL 10 FRIENDSHIP?!

BC I GOT NOBODY 😭

ITS RLLY HARD TO DO OKAY-

I HAVE TO PUT ACTUAL EFFORT INTO THE FEW THAT ARE LEVEL 4-5 

ID BE SO FUCKED-

Oh no.

Oh god (you??) no.

What if you had the highest friendship with little d**ks like Scaramouche.

noooOOOOOO

He’d be like, “Eh, I don’t feel like translating today.” 💀

Also I’m rolling with the idea that 

perfect understanding = lvl 10,

Most words 7-9

Some words 5-6

Kinda ?? they get 2 words per sentence or smth 3-4

Basically nothing 1-2

◇

Anyway ornery bitches like Scara/Xiao/Alhaitham/Rosaria/Diluc (all for diff reasons like diluc/xiao would just be overwhelmed and dont like ppl that much lol, whereas haitham doesnt give a fuck lmao) would kinda suck to have as translators

OH NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD JUST LIE ABOUT WHAT U SAID ON PURPOSE TO DECEIVE THE MASSES LIKE Heizou/Yae Miko/Kaeya/Venti 

They pull something like “oh well the god of gods said I could have the last slice of cake/an extra glass of wine hehe”

For different reasons these people would also be ROUGH translators: FISCHL OH NO- , Zhongli, Albedo (he simply would omit “unnecessary details”, cyno, ITTO PLEASE, Raiden (puppet) bc shed take stuff too far/too literally u would never be able to communicate jokes, Razor (im sorry bbyboy), Shenhe

THE CHARADDEEESSS

THE CHARADES OF THE GODS 

You may or may not get another title of a jokester god bc of these SILLY charades 💀

The people u have higher levels of friendship with giving hints LMAO

♤

“Uhhh….. Oh! Oh! Greatest Lord wishes to see a dance performance!” 

Nahida’s sweet voice rings out in Yujing Terrace, her tiny hand waving in the air like an elementary student who’s really excited to answer. …Which isn’t that far off honestly.

“Hmm, I disagree Buer, I believe the Hundun Emperor is saying they wish to take a bath perhaps. I am also attempting to use context, as it has been a long day for them.” Zhongli is in his classic “majestic thinking gentleman” pose, and you’d admire it more if it weren’t for the fact that they don’t seem to be getting what you’re saying.

You hadn’t yet found someone with a higher friendship level than 2 or 3 (hey, don’t blame yourself, you really have to put effort into friendship levels to get them anywhere and you were still busy screwing around in Sumeru when you got spirited away).

So needless to say, most people were getting “the, me, I, you, etc.” rather than the actual important keywords you needed them to, hence the godly charade game now.

As you “hold” something, you throw your hands up in the air, still keeping your hands wrapped around nothing. You think if somebody told you last week that you’d be playing charades with the archons in Genshin Impact so you could actually communicate with them… well you don’t know what you would have done. Maybe just gave them a really awkward laugh.

“Oh! Are you asking for a weapon? Akitsu Mikami, my emperor, we or our nations will surely provide protection from any harm that might befall you. Hm, I suppose we should offer something anyway… I wouldn’t want to displease them…” Ei mutters to herself, having taken over her puppet once more for the occasion.

She and Buer, still retaining their authority status, had asked for the area to be cleared in order to try and get closer to communicating with the Divine First, or you.

“Ha! What idiot would try to hurt the All-Parent in their home, unless they wish to get thrown?” Venti cheekily says, as you don’t understand him, but judging by Zhongli’s clenched jaw, Ei’s sigh, and Nahida’s giggle, you can guess.

You give your own sad sigh… it’s already been 3 hours. 😭

How hard is charades for 4 archons??

Well… apparently very hard.

You put your face in your hands, and you hear the (retired) archons start to debate something, you can tell it’s getting a little passive-aggressive between Venti and Zhongli by their tone alone. 

…Okay, now it’s just aggressive.

The archons eventually give their attention back to you so you can go back to your charades lol

You tried opening your mouth and closing it, very obvious, they can’t go wrong. 

…Turns out they can. 

Somehow you find yourself with a hot tea brewed by the geo archon. 

(Venti attempted to offer you Dandelion Wine, or Osmanthus Wine even, and only god, well you now, knows where he pulled them from. Ei swatted his head, he looked so offended, and his cheeks were all puffed up, heh.)

Giving up, you just try to motion for them to stay still, your hands gesturing like trying to calm a wild animal.

They give you questioning looks, and you begin to walk off, they all seem to immediately start discussing something with each other. All of the gods look very conflicted, and after a minute of you getting further away (yes, you’re almost home free, Xiangling here you come! ) Nahida skips to catch up with you.

She gives you a beaming smile, and you can’t bring yourself to not return it. She's so much cuter in real life, even the official art didn't do her justice.

You make your way towards the restaurant, finally.

And apparently you’re happier than you thought to smell the savory scents flowing out of the kitchen because your stomach growls loudly.

You’re too hungry to even attempt to stop it, no one will care, except Nahida’s eyes go wide. She begins to sputter, and flail her hands desperately trying to charade an apology at you.

…you were just trying to tell them you were hungry. 💀

☆

Ask box open again! :] 🎊

Pspspspspssubliminalmessagingyouwillsendthatdeadaquariusanaskpssppspspspspssss

✨️Hope you guys got smth out of this rough draft✨️ ♡

:D hope u guys have had a good weekend!

My senior art exhibit is april 6th so wish me luck and prayers (from any religion im not picky pls)

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[prismsofmystery]

OOUWT x TNMN AU - P1, "Road Trick"

"Grq'w jr jhqwoh lqwr wkdw jrrgqljkw."

"Udjh rq djdlqvw wkh gblqj oljkw."

Stephanie made her way through the busy city streets, almost bumping into a few people either from how close they were or how distracted she was on her phone. She had went to pick out a few things that her mother and father requested, promising them she'd come right back home after.

She made her way to what she assumed was the usual city bus she took for her journey home everyday. Most of the spots were empty, but she decided to not have to make the effort of being asked to scoot over to make room by sitting next to a brunette who was already sitting next to the window, eating a sandwich. Stephanie questioned why the woman had a book bag when it was just the beginning of summer, but brushed it off, opting to not get into a meaningless discussion with a stranger.

A few minutes later, Stephanie noticed a couple of other people loading onto the bus too, but it still wasn't necessarily crowded to the point she felt uncomfortable. She did however, turn to observe the other passengers. She didn't know why, but they all intrigued her somehow. They seemed so… diverse…including the woman sitting next to her.

She texted her dad, Nathaniel, that she'd be home, to which he replied with a thumbs up. Typical dad behavior. She thought to herself as she leaned back in the seat, looking out of the window.

Soon, the bus finally began to move, which was good. Stephanie wanted to get home as soon as possible. She immersed herself back into her cellular device until she noticed that the bus was in fact not going where it was supposed to. She was a bit put off by this but decided to let it be, as maybe the bus was taking a detour.

Suddenly, the woman beside her stood up and brushed past her to the front of the bus, probably to take it up with the bus driver. She watched as the woman's face paled before she quickly sat back down.

"What did ya see." Stephanie asked, though it didn't sound like a question. She was not trying to meet her maker today, and she was serious. Either the driver used an invisibility spell or that motherfucker doesn't exist. The girl mumbled, crossing her arms. For my sanity I'm going to assume the latter.

Stephanie gave her a weird look, but before she could question her authenticity, a jet black haired woman walked past their seat to speak to the supposed non-existent driver. What followed next was classic white woman screaming.

"God damn it, woman, what is it?" A dark skinned man asked, sitting up. It was apparent to Stephanie he had been sleeping, and was NOT pleased about being woken up. "There's literally no one driving this bus, Glenn."

A heterochromic brunette scoffed in his seat. "Sure. And the sky is green." The woman clenched her jaw. "I'm not lying, Nacho." Nacho stood up and stomped to the front of the bus. There was a pause before he clasped his hands together, taking a deep breath. "Well shit."

"HUH?" Glenn asked, standing up. "Are you serious???" "Go and take a look for yourself, man." Glenn stood up and sprinted over to the front of the bus. His heart stopped. Oh lord. The next minute, he was on the floor, passed out.

Stephanie just stood there, lock-jawed. 3 people had corroborated this woman's story, and she didn't believe they had any reason to lie either. She took out her phone to dial the police.

"Don't even bother, I've already tried." The brunette beside her said, holding up her phone. "911 was not picking up. We're cooked, bro." She said nonchalantly, as if she'd already accepted her fate.

Stephanie could feel her heart racing. This was not how she wanted to spend her summer. She took note that a few people at the back of the bus were panicking also, and one of the twins had fainted.

"Michael, I told you we shouldn't have gotten on this bus." A blue haired woman said, pointing at a blonde male. Michael glared at her defensively. "Do I look like fucking Scooby Doo to you? How was I supposed to know some paranormal shit was happening?"

The dark haired woman Nacho had sat next to began to hyperventilate, which caused him to run back and comfort her. Stephanie held her head in her hands trying to pull herself together and not her hair off of her head. She just wanted to run some errands..how did it get to this?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beginning text is Caesar Cipher hee hee.

I'm just going to say this now, a LOT of these neighbors will DIE. Not immediately, systematically and in random order. Good luck.

You all should definitely listen to "Somebody to Die For" by Hurts. They cooked fr.

OOUWT is an abbreviation for "One Of Us Will Turn" do what you will with that statement.

only the characters who are around 30-40 and below canonically are featured here and they're around late high school/college age. This also takes place in the late/early 2000's.

Nate and Jake are canonically alive due to doppels not yet existing or not existing at all. Jake probably won't be mentioned until the next chapter, though.

the cover art should come soon dw

[tumblingxelian]

The Semblance of Chloe Bourgeois

So, while currently on an ML hyperfixation, my decade long love of RWBY has never faded. As a result I tend to love looking other franchises characters and thi8nking about their potential Semblances.

IE, the manifestation of their Soul in the form of a power, usually awakened either naturally through time & effort or via trauma/survival which serves as a window into the characters identity & if it evolves, their growth.

This led to Chloe thoughts, as it typical of me.

I know most people give her a spin on Venom and that's fair, tis a very believable Semblance. But I also think it doesn't dig deep enough because Chloe's ties to paralysis came from a Miraculous, not herself.

No, what I think Chloe's Semblance would be is a form if mimicry!

This is quite possible in canon, book protag Velvet Scarletina can mimic people's fighting styles & created a weapon that lets her project hard light copies of their weapons to utilize it best.

We also have backstory character, Marcus Black who could literally steal people's Semblances, doing so to his son as a means of control... It didn't pan out & Mercury beat him to death XD

So there's several ways it could manifest but all of them would align well with Chloe. Who built so much of her identity around copying her mother, trying to adopt roles to suit a situation over "Being herself" and tried to copy Ladybug as well. This is a deep part of her character and it doesn't need to be healthy to be a Semblance.

What's more, it could easily factor into all of her self esteem issues. From lacking a strong sense of self. To a lack of real ego as she knows "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery mediocrity can pay to greatness". Said Semblance likely has limits. But! But it would be impressive enough that she could boast about it on a surface level.

More below:

1: Combat Style mimicry: This would let Chloe memorize and mimic how people move, talk and fight. Whether these memories are perfect and last forever, or are only one use, or can be lost by simply forgetting them is up in the air.

But the end result is it would definitely allow her to coast a bit through training, but also leave her feeling she lacks a distinct style in herself. Let alone the fact it likely feels like she'll never 'master' any of them, just keep collecting little stolen fragments of what others have.

2: Soul Witness: Just by seeing a persons Semblance, Chloe is able to essentially recreate it. However her version is watered down, weaker and almost certainly temporary if not one use, or perhaps only lasting a day.

This is again, extremely potent in theory, and in a combat School or Academy or tournament environment, its more than a little broken. Because so long as she has Aura she can keep switching up Semblances. But at the end she knows the imitation is weaker & she is always left empty at the end of the day.

3: Soul Touch: Like the above, Chloe can copy people's Semblances, but here she needs to physically touch them to do so. This allows for a perfect copy, but not instant mastery or control & as before likely fades with time or will be replaced by the next Semblance she takes.

Powerful and theoretically versatile, she has plenty to be proud of, but it is also only as strong as the last Semblance she took, only as effective as Chloe herself is, only as good of a decision to take it as she made. So it keeps coming back to Chloe not being enough.

Conclusion: As I said above, Semblances can evolve, Lie Ren went from subtly empathic and able to suppress his & others emotions to a full on empath capable of perceiving and understand other people's emotions at a glance as he overcame his unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I am unsure how a Semblance like mimicry would evolve if Chloe came into having a better head space regarding her own identity, or the Semblance itself. Though its possible it wouldn't need to change, but merely be her perspective that needs an update. Like how Qrow came to realize his Semblance that caused passive misfortune had more to do with his own self loathing than it did it being like a curse.

But those are just my thoughts, hope they were interesting!

[mortifry]

We did the RIP tour at Halloween Horror Nights Orlando last Friday night for the second year in a row and it was just soooo much fun!!!!! We had such a good night. It’s a bit expensive, but I honestly recommend it. It’s so worth it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do HHN any other way ever again lol

The food from the buffet was still kind of mid compared to last year, not gonna lie. I hear Hollywood has a better selection. But the experience was less hectic feeling than last year. They seem like they’re dealing with that issue a little better because there was way less people in La Bamba while we were there so it was quieter and a bit more relaxing. I really only ate the black beans and rice though because like I said, buffet is not the best (which is crazy for how much you’re paying for the experience but whatever I guess).

The only thing I tried of the themed HHN food was the Mini Stay-Puft S’more because it was recommended to me and it was not great. It didn’t even look good, which is one of the big reasons people want to buy it is because it’s “Instagramable” but they didn’t even cook my marshmallow enough for it to melt the chocolate!!! 3/10 :(

The only other things I had wanted to try were a couple alcoholic drinks they had but I forgot lol

Our tour guide’s name was Jay and he was really cool. In between houses and scare-zones, he talked with us and a couple other people about wrestling, which is always fun to find other people out in the wild who are fans. One of the guys in our group met Cody Rhodes, which was cool. Anyway, yeah our tour guide was really informative. Like not only telling us like the basic shit that most guides probably tell their groups but he sprinkled in a lot more little fun-facts and secrets than our guy did last year :) if we can’t get people to do a private tour with us next year, we’ll probably end up requesting him again because he was really good.

The medieval scare-zone was our favorite, for sure. It was also the biggest scare-zone this year. The costumes were just really cool and their set pieces were the best. The king and queen were truly serving cunt, as they say. The Florida one also seemed like it would’ve been pretty cool too, but it was raining when we walked through so none of the actors were out. The Blumhouse one was the worse. Like no effort put into it at all which is crazy because when they’ve done The Purge it’s always got pretty good set pieces. But anyway, at least Megan was there all night and you didn’t have to go looking for her and you can take pictures with her :) even though last year, the flash mob thing was fun lol but the other one, I don’t even remember what is was called, that’s near the Bourne show, was also pretty neat. I really like the costumes in that scare-zone probably the best actually.

The Nightmare Fuel show this year was amazing!!! I’ve only seen the show twice (this year and last lol) and it was so much better than last year. It was so good. I honestly recommend going to see it if you can because it was probably my favorite part of the whole night. You just have to make sure you kind of get in line a little early because it gets really busy.

I pretty much liked all of the houses this year for different reasons (which I’ll talk about each house separately in a second, no spoilers!!!) except for one. If you don’t know about the RIP tour, you literally get to skip the entire line, which is amazing and why you want to do the tour. I’ve been to HHN a few times previously without fast passes and with them, and this is honestly just so much better of an experience. I remember going with different groups of people on different occasions and waiting like 3/4 hours for one house when I went without fast passes (The Shining and the first Stranger Things house lol) and it sucked, it ruined the whole night tbh fast passes are definitely good if you don’t want to spend money on the RIP tour because it does really cut down on time, but I’m at a point in life where I just don’t want to go to something like NNH and have to wait anymore lol

Anyway here are my thoughts on the houses :)

> A Quiet Place was really cool!!! It’s based off of the first two movies, which I have never seen but I am now kind of interested in watching them. It’s definitely going to be the quietest house you go into, I mean, the name!!! Our tour guide said they used a lot more ambient noises in this house than others as well as noise canceling panels throughout the house to really give it that quiet but creepy feeling. And honestly, most of the guests walking through are not making much noise either. Like I was kind of afraid to make noise because the one time I accidentally did (a piece of fabric from the ceiling hit me in the face during a dark part) the noise from that creature was like immediately in my ear lol but yeah it was really cool. I really liked it

> Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire was one of my favorites but it is not scary at all, which usually there’s one of them. It was just fun. They did really good with the set design of the house. I haven’t seen Frozen Empire but ghost entity thing they’re fighting in it is a creepy little guy for sure. Definitely do this one, but don’t do it for the scares!!!

> Insidious: The Further was probably the scariest house. I’ve never seen any of the movies so it probably really wasn’t as scary as it could’ve been but it still got me a couple times. My soon-to-be sister-in-law said she had to close her eyes half way through. I’m pretty sure it was this house (sorry I can’t remember like anything) but I fucking hate mannequin rooms and this one has TWO!!!!!!! The first HHN I went to was with The Shining which had a mannequin room and I ran into one of the mannequins and then immediately got jump scared by a person in the same room lol

> Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines (☝️) was the one house I didn’t like which is really unfortunate because I wanted to like it so bad. It is supposedly the first house that has an all-women cast and crew. I mean, like it was cool. I think it’s like the only house that has narration as you walk through it. But yeah, it just wasn’t really that good in opinion, I don’t know.

> Monstruos: The Monsters of Latin America was a good one. There are three different monsters you encounter in this house and there is a crazy puppet in here!!! I also can’t remember if it is this one (which I’m pretty sure it is) or the Ghostbuster house (which ever house has the fire station in it) but yeah, supposedly it has the biggest set piece that they’ve ever built! I can’t remember how big it is but it’s big!!! This one also kind of had a bit of narration, I believe, but it was different than Universal Monsters.

> Slaughter Sinema 2 was my favorite house!!! It was so much fun!!! I never went through the first house so this was really neat. Our tour guide told us that something some people miss is that in the first house, you went right, but in this house, you’re going left because you’re seeing different movies :) he also said that this series of houses are a way for HHN to test ideas and the ones that gather the most attention or whatever may become their own houses eventually. The first Slaughter Sinema produced two yeti themed houses (one of which was last year and one of our favorites!!) but yeah, it was fun. I recommend doing this house if you can!!!

> The Museum: Deadly Exhibits was the first house we went into and I honestly cannot remember anything from it.

> Major Sweets Candy Factory was gross!!!!! I lied, this was my least favorite house LOL it was gross. I hated it. But besides my own personal feelings, it was a well-done house and it was interactive! There are red buttons throughout the house you can push to have something done to the person in front of you, behind you, or yourself!!! You never know!!! I was walking behind my tour guide in this house and he looked back at me and was like “press that button” and me, an intellectual, pressed the button. Nothing crazy happened but it got me with a puff of air, so stupid :(

> Goblin's Feast is one I definitely recommend, especially to you fantasy nerds. I think this might have been the house that really got me, with a dumb puppet I was looking directly at. But anyway, this house just had really good costumes and set pieces as well as some crazy puppets. This house and Universal Monsters are both in the new tents they made this year :)

> Triplets of Terror was kind of dumb idk the set design of this house was good. It had a ton of little details but I was so confused going into it because the way my tour guide had explained the premise of the house, I thought these triplets were like some demonic entities that were children that came back every year on their birthday to kill a family but nope I was wrong and just more confused than anything while walking through lol

But yeah, we had a really good time this year. Even though it kind of rained on us, the weather was a lot nicer this year. Last year it was just so hot and humid and they had so much of that fake smoke, I was dying mid-way through the night. This year was just nice :)

Plus we ended the night with a wish coming true in finding Shotzi through the fog!!! I think she is so cool and it was so cool to meet her in person. I was too nervous to ask her for a picture but I shook her hand :)

Anyway, yeah. I recommend the RIP tour!!!

✌️thank yoooouuuu✌️

[eureka-its-zico]

So I just finished reading the 5th chapter for the 4th time - will continue to do so till the next chapter - and decided that I owe you a few words of gratitude.

I haven't read any fanfiction stories in a couple of years. And wasn't actually planning on starting any time soon, if I'm being honest. Not because of any prejudice, mind you😅 But just wasn’t feeling like I'm interested in one. On top of that, I was never into One Piece, but caved in under constant demands friendly recommendations to watch the Netflix adaptation (and maybe catching a little tiny crush).

This is when the beginning of the story finds us - me, a week ago, upon finishing my 3d rewatch, scrolling through the tag here and coming upon your post with the first chapter. I was planning to energetically scroll by, but then I saw the words count and went: "Hhhhmmmmm🤨🧐🤔🤔🤔". And this right here is a SUCKER for long things. So, deciding "What the hell, I don't have anything to do right now anyway", I've jumped right in and went through all four chapters. And then I did it again. And once again the next day. And then started to reread favorite parts, desperately waiting for the 5th chpater.

Thank you so much for gifting us such a fantastic and amazingly written story!! Your writing is superb, well-realized and so gripping that I find myself returning again and again. I honestly desire for it to be canon in the show, because you did the greatest job with putting your lead right into the story - it's so easy to visualise, reading it is like watching the show in my head.

It would've been incredible to read even without the romance, but that part is just *Chef's kiss* (I'll take one from the waiter as well😈😈😈). The building of their relationship is just perfection, with the constant bickering and teasing. But the soft and sweet moments (so many in this chapter, honestly), like how he didn't want to let her go to the kitchen, give me quite literal butterflies in the stomach🥰💙

The conflict in Zoro is so fascinating to read, even though it's very heartbreaking, because he's just not letting himself be happy here. The angst IS REAL and I'm fully prepared to die with the next chapter, given the subject matter😅

All the characters are brilliantly written and such a joy to read! Can't wait to see what else you'll be so generous to give us in the feature!!! Thank you so much, once again💐🌷🪻⚘️🌸🩵

P.S. I'm BEGGING you to still give us "That’s a date" scene! She should just be petty and become besties with Sanji in order to annoy Zoro for being a selfish asshole, who's throwing himself into death matches😈🤣🤣🤣

Osiyo, Carrot!!

I’m not going to lie. I’ve been holding onto your ask for a while. It was incredibly humbling to read it and, like you rereading Chaos in Their Bones, I have reread your comment about the same.

I’m so happy that you took a chance on reading my fanfiction and find it funnier that it was due to the fact of my word count. I am always paranoid that my word counts are too large. I wish I knew how to write smaller 🤣🤣 so I found it ironic that what intrigued you the most to start reading it was the length.

“Reading it is like watching the show in my head.” This comment right here feels me with so much joy. I know that this is fanfiction. It’s supposed to be fun and a place for fantasies and escapism, but I put so much effort into making sure it feels authentic and the characters realistic and it’s immersive in the best possible way. So, reading that comment made this one of my favorite I’d ever received.

As for the Sanji part I cannot confirm or deny that a date like interaction happens lol.

Thank you so much for sending me this wonderful review comment on Chaos in Their Bones and taking the time to send it. It has made a difficult week more bearable. I hope you have a wonderful weekend 🖤 Much love

[sidhewrites]

do you have tips on learning how to do that with your thoughts when all you want to do is hate yourself

regarding this post

So this is coming with a couple disclaimers:

This may not work for everyone, because everyone is different and there's no panacea for mental health

i'm not an authority, i just worked with a DBT therapist for 5 years and did my best for after that.

this method isn't necessarily meant to stop your thought spirals or feeling like shit. I'm giving this advice from the perspective of just wanting to make it bearable and allow you to get to the other side unscathed

This will not work right away. It sucks. I hate that it takes time and effort, but it does. It's a skill you have to build up. It took me literal years to get it to work and I promise you're worth the time it takes to figure it out as well.

Finally, ask for external validation whenever you need it. Friends, family, positivity blogs, r/congratslikeimfive anywhere. This is hard! You're doing a hard thing. And you deserve to have people on your side while you do it.

But start with knowing logically that these thoughts are not the truth. They're not you, they're not reality, they're just the chemicals in your brain and thought patterns making you feel like shit. It may feel real, but it's not, I promise. You aren't a terrible person, your friends don't hate you, and your cat would not be better off starving on the streets covered in fleas. It'll take a while to believe this, but tell yourself until it feels true. Fake it till you make it. It takes time for it to really sink in, but it will.

Addendum: turns out i have a lot to say so it's going under a cut

Your job is to start with stopping things from spiraling to the bottom. Whether that means slowing it down, stopping it, or bringing it back up -- it just depends the situation in the moment and your skill with coping methods.

SAY STOP: You can use a couple of skills that may or may not work for you. Sometimes it's just physically stopping whatever movements you're doing, holding your hands out, saying the word stop. When I get caught in an indecision spiral where I want to do everything at once (put the dishes away, pick up the towel, stop the timer on my phone, etc etc etc), I physically make myself stand still, hold my palms outward like I'm telling someone else to stop, and think "Stop."

It lets me reset and make an order of operations in my head and manage things. It might work with some things but not with others. Like saying stop won't make my self-hatred spiral help, but you gotta try anyway to figure out what works and what doesn't.

GIVE IT A NAME: For me personally, it's easier to separate myself from these emotions than it is to say "No, I'm wrong, I shouldn't be thinking this way, I'm stupid for feeling this way." Because in the moment it doesn't feel wrong, even when it is demonstrably false, and can make you spiral further down.

You can use a name that's funny, that's meaningful, whatever. I chose clarence because it's fun to say "Fuck off, clarence." Clarence is wrong. Clarence is stupid for thinking this way. I'm amazing.

Find some way to talk about these spirals in a way as if they're an entirely different entity than yourself, and then tell them to leave you alone. Again, it won't stop the spirals from happening, but it will make it easier to suffer through until you're able to come down from your emotional distress.

TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE AMAZING.

I don't care if it feels wrong, or like a lie. I am telling you, as someone who went through major depressive disorder with no coping skills, you're amazing. You've gotten through this much, and you deserve good things.

Find concrete facts about yourself so you can argue with your Clarence. He thinks you suck? Well you're really good at making pancakes and your friends love your jokes and you have the best taste in shoes, so Clarence can fuck right off because he's wrong.

If you can't find it on your own...

ASK FOR HELP

Tell the people in your life. I'll say to my friends Clarence is being a bitch about XYZ" and they hype me up and talk about how wrong he is and point out things they like.

You might feel like they're wrong. You might feel like they're lying to make you feel better.

That's not true. That's just Clarence being a bitch and telling you lies. Your friends love you, and they love you enough to tell you how great they think you are.

DISTRACT YOURSELF

Make sure it's something that you like. No doomscrolling, nothing to make you angry, nothing to make you hopeless. It doesn't have to be positive or funny, but it has to get your mind off things. A movie, tv, a video game, whatever. It'll help get your mind out of the spiral and get on with your life. It'll feel shitty and awful until you get out of that hole, and the hole will always be there to trip into, but you'll know it's not true. It's just some shitty dude who lives in your head trying to be a shit and get in the way of how amazing you are.

Anecdote: I was having a self hatred spiral and feeling like daisy would be better off on the streets than she is in my house. Meanwhile she's across the room looking like the happiest girl in the world. I literally took a picture because it was so funny how BLATANTLY FALSE my emotions were in the moment. Look at her. I love her.

[monthofsick]

Under the Surface

Nov(emeto)ber 2022, Day 9: The first time ___ has seen ___ sick

OCs: Natalia, Ketan, Cassandra, Calvin, Zena, Ezra

Is it just me or are some characters begging to eventually have a total meltdown? (This sounds so bad, I swear I'm not a horrible person in real life, I even save fruit flies from drowning.) Not gonna lie, this one hit me harder in the feels than I had expected.

TW: Vomit, alcohol, mental breakdown, unsolicited kiss

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Natalia and Cassandra had never argued in front of their friends. Apart from some benign bickering, they were usually one heart and soul. Even when Natalia got on everyone‘s nerves with her capricious airs, Cassandra was the one to jump to her defense and take the wind out of the prima donna’s sails. That’s why the entire group was completely blindsided when the two BFFs clashed violently.

The night had started like countless others – the six friends filmed a vlog about them going out. Of course, they opened with a montage of their struggles to find the right outfit or nail hair and make up for a certain relatability factor. Them meeting and hugging, then coaxing Natalia into trying cheap junk food. Zena’s local secret bar advice and the usual quarrel about today’s club of choice. The difficult agreement was ultimately contrasted by scenes inside their prefered location with all of them dancing and sipping on colorful cocktails. A glimpse at their life that made their followers feel like they were part of the circle.

It all went downhill as their casual chatter shifted to vacation planning.

„We should totally travel together again!“ Ketan was in his usual state of euphoric enthusiasm. „Our voyage vids are still our most successful.“

„I don’t know about that.“ Ezra instinctively placed a hand on his stomach. „Our trip was, quite literally, a shitshow. What if we’re cursed and it happens again?“

„Oh, please!“ Natalia rolled her eyes. „How hard can it be to stay away from the seafood? Spoiler alert: If you don’t eat stuff that’s notorious for giving you food poisoning, you will most likely not get food poisoning.“

„Fish poisoning is pretty common as well and we still took the risk“, Zena pointed out with a shrug. „We were just lucky we got away.“

„Uhm, can we stick to the fact that we’re obviously not cursed?“ Ketan glared at Ezra scoldingly. „Do you really think there is some kind of higher power with total control over us that intentionally throws us into random situations just to make us sick?“

„I wasn’t talking about an emetophile eldritch entity.“ It was impossible to tell if Ezra was offended by Ketan’s allegation or if he felt caught. „But it’s easy for you not to worry. You weren’t the one puking up your guts at least twenty times per day.“

„Uhm… guys?“ Calvin cleared his throat. There was a tense nervosity about his demeanor. „I’ve been invited to my aunt’s house, so… I wouldn’t be able to join in on the fun.“

„Wait, you’re spending your holidays without us?“, Ketan sulked. „Why didn’t you tell us earlier?“

„Yeah, about that…“ Cassandra took a deep breath. „He won’t be, like, completely without us because… I’m gonna join him.“

„What. The. Actual. Fuck?“ For a moment, Ketan’s eyes went big like two dark saucers. Then he broke into a radiant smile and clapped, barely able to contain his excitement. „I’m living for it! Who’s ready for some couple content?“

„Stop it!“ Cassandra placed a finger on Ketan’s lips. „We’re not even officially dating yet.“

„…but you are dating unofficially?“, Ketan grinned in spite of Cassandra‘s efforts to shush him. It earned him a kick against the shin with Calvin’s leather shoes.

„Aaaaw, you guys were my OTP all along!“ Zena looked like she had just seen a fluffy puppy flying by.

„Are you for real?“ Unlike her friends, Natalia wasn‘t overjoyed or smitten. Her lips were tightened and raised into a one-sided smile while her eyes remained cold and narrowed. „No shade, but… is this a prank or one of Ketan’s idiot PR moves?“

„You did not just say that.“ Cassandra’s jaw dropped. „What the hell is that even supposed to mean?“

„Well, just because the guy’s been simping for you since basically forever, it doesn’t make him your match.“ Natalia let out an exasperated scoff. „And, by the way, I thought you wanted to join me for spa week?“

„Don’t ever call Calvin a simp again.“ Cassandra was infamous for her deadpan snark, but she usually wasn’t one to openly flaunt her emotions. The unmistakable expression of raw anger seemed weirdly out of place on her features. „Also, pro tip: If you want me to join you for anything, it would really help if you just asked.“

„Yeah, because he didn’t spend our entire vacation drooling over your micro bikini.“ Natalia took a sip from her cocktail, trying hard to display a superior attitude. „Jeez, sorry for assuming that was obvious when I raved about it for a week or so. It’s not like we’ve always travelled together before, except we totally did.“

„Oh my God, I just can’t with you right now.“ There was something bubbling under Cassandra’s surface. The tension in the air had been palpable all along, but at this very moment, the argument entered minefield territory. „Are you actually salty that I didn’t catch your non-existing invitation or is it because I might care about anyone else but you?“

„Do you really want to go there?“ After an instant’s hesitation, Natalia decided to ignore the warning sign – yet the brief pause made it perfectly clear that she had undoubtedly noticed it. „Funny how little miss basic nerdy bitch clung on to me when it came in handy. A hunk like him wouldn’t even have noticed you before you met me. But sure, I’m the jealous one when you ditch me last minute because you’re thirsty or because your parents are pestering your ovaries to finally pop out some babies!“

„Leave my parents out of this!“ Cassandra was screaming. Whatever had been building up inside of her was now released in a massive explosion. „And don’t you dare to call me a leech! You wanted to be friends with me because I was the only one who wasn’t just after your money and fame! I was stupid enough to believe you’re more than an arrogant, entitled bitch, but you know what? I’m starting to think that everyone else was right about you.“

Cassandra sprung from her seat and stormed off. Calvin hurried after her, equally bewildered and worried. The remaining friends needed a moment to overcome their state of shock.

„That… was wild“, Zena muttered after an uncomfortable period of silence. „I mean, don’t you think you should follow her and apologize? You said some pretty fucked up things, you know.“

„Yeah, she’s the victim, I’m the villain, I get it.“ Natalia emptied her glass in one go. „Now would you kindly get off my back?“

With a frosty expression, Natalia waved at a waitress and ordered another drink.

-

Natalia got hammered and it was highly uncomfortable to watch. She did it quickly and on purpose, going from slightly tipsy to completely plastered in a timelapse. When she made efforts to attract the attention of a waiter again, Ezra brought himself to grab her arm.

„Pretty sure you had enough for the night.“

„Lemme go!“ Natalia knocked his hand out of the way. „Zena, tell Kurt Cobain you ordered on Wish to mind his own business!“

„No, sweetie.“ Zena turned Natalia’s face towards herself. „You can barely see straight, it’s about time you go home.“

Ketan chewed on his lower lip while he fought an internal struggle. Calvin was his best friend and he was mad at Natalia for trashtalking him. On the other hand, it was obvious they couldn’t leave their dead drunk princess alone. His own appartment was closest to Natalia’s, so it made sense that they would share a ride. The crisis talk had to wait until her alcohol level had dropped significantly.

„Let’s call an Uber for both of us“, Ketan sighed, resigning to his fate.

„Hello? Did I agree to that going home bullshit?“ Natalia crossed her arms in front of her chest. „Stop treatin‘ me like a baby!“

„Then stop acting like a baby.“ Ezra was clearly done with her antics. „You know what? I’ll pick up the check, you guys pay me back later. Just get her out into the fresh air.“

„Thanks, I’ll keep you guys posted!“ Ketan put his arm around Natalia’s small waste and pulled her up. „Come on, it’ll do you good. You don’t want to make a scene, do you?“

Natalia huffed, then almost stumbled over her own feet. Five inch heels weren’t necessarily made for a drunken stagger. It was quite the challenge to get her out of the club safely. Even a simple thing as standing in place required constant readjustment because Natalia threatened to topple over in every possible direction. So at first, it was a huge relief when their Uber finally arrived.

„Girlfriend had a good time, eh?“, the driver asked with a grin, but there was an element of caution to his words. Ketan put on an innocent smile.

„She’s fine“, he declared with the utmost conviction.

„Does he look like ma‘ boyfrien‘ to you?“, Natalia slurred and sank back into her seat. Ketan’s grin froze in place. He was more than ready to leave the disaster site, crawl into his bed and pretend it had all been a nightmare. The last thing he wanted was to be kicked out of the car again.

„Puke fee’s 200,00 $. Still willing to take the ride?“

„Ah, yeah, sure.“ Ketan‘s cheeks glowed with embarrassment and anxiety. This was uncharted territory for him. Ketan had never seen Natalia drunk, let alone sick. She could hold her liquor remarkably well and she didn‘t pass the line of losing control. The external expression was everything to her. Ketan wouldn’t have believed anyone who told him that the elegant diva would ever crash and burn like that.

The car took off and Ketan kept his fingers crossed that Natalia’s stomach would survive the trip unscathed. She leaned against the head rest, eyes closed like she was about to doze off. For at least ten minutes, Natalia barely moved a muscle. Just when Ketan dared to gather some hope, the inebriated blonde began to shift in her seat. Her glossy pink lips curled into a frown and she hugged herself with a pained groan.

„Hang in there, Nat, it’s not far now.“ Ketan awkwardly stroked Natalia’s shoulder. It felt peculiar, almost illegal. Under normal circumstances, she would have never allowed him to even think about comforting her. On the other hand, it seemed wrong to just watch her suffer – and he wasn’t keen on paying the vomit fine.

„Where is Cas?“, Natalia whined. Her gestures were uncoordinated, an odd staccato of rubbing her belly, clutching the shiny fabric of her dress, covering her lips, turning her head. Every now and then, her face contorted into a silent retch.

„You’ll see her again soon.“ Ketan tried to come up with some kind of appeasement that, strictly speaking, wasn’t a lie. „Now try to breathe and relax, will you? I mean, I’m here, that’s at least… something.“

„I want Cas.“ The expression on Natalia’s face could have been both intense pain or nausea. She waved her hands like she was trying to fan herself, then curled up again. Her pursed lips formed an O and she let out a hybrid of gag and moan.

„Remember, puke fee is…“

„…200,00 $, I know.“ Ketan wearily cut off the driver and put his hand on Natalia’s back. Thanks to a generous cut-out, he could feel her clammy skin under his palm, shivering with every twitch of her muscles. „Nat, listen, are you going to be sick? Do we need to pull over?“

Natalia shook her head vehemently, then squinted and scrunched up her nose. Her fingers pushed against her lips. Ketan’s tension grew, but then again, they were barely five minutes away from his apartment building.

„Try to hold it in, we’re almost there!“

A violent jolt rocked Natalia’s body. She raised her head with a sudden jerk and her eyes flew open. Frantically, her unsteady hands grabbed the skirt of her dress. She spread her legs, bent over and vomited on the champagne colored fabric.

Ketan covered his face with a hand while rubbing Natalia’s convulsing back with the other one.

„Hell no!“, the driver grunted. „I knew it was a mistake to give you a lift.

„She – she caught it“, Ketan stammered apologetically, just to be drowned out by a full-throated retch. It was not a sound he had ever expected to come out of the ever so graceful Natalia – let alone the following gush of puke that splattered on the velvety material. The pond of watery sick sloshed back and forth in her impromptu barf bag. „Can you pull over really, really gently?“

Another stream of multicolored liquid poured out of Natalia’s heart shaped mouth. Ketan held his breathe – not because of the stench, but in tense anticipation if her skirt would be able to contain the flood. What the blonde expelled had the acrid odor of alcohol with only the slightest hint of vomit, which was a good thing. The lustrious synthetic fiber seemed to be waterproof, at least nothing had seeped through so far. If only the barf lake wouldn’t spill over…

Finally, the car stopped at the curb. The regurgitated drinks swashed dangerously between Natalia’s legs, but she held up her skirt with the courage of despair.

„Don’t move, I’ll come over and lend you a hand.“ Ketan jumped out of the car and rushed to Natalia’s side. He pulled the door open, then deliberately paused to change the pace. Slowly and very, very carefully, he helped Natalia turn towards him so she could gently slide over the seat and out into the open. It was not until they had moved away at least five baby steps from the vehicle that Ketan let go of the satin. He leapt backwards as Natalia released the collected sick all over the sidewalk.

The driver had already left the cab to thoroughly check for stains in the backseat area. Ketan’s heart was pounding like a jackhammer. Finally, the driver turned around, shrugged his shoulders and gave Ketan a crooked grin.

„Looks like your girl can aim“, he sneered. „Dodget the bullet. If you ask me, the lady is a keeper.“

„Yeah… thanks.“ With a sheepish smile, Ketan took out his wallet and expressed his gratitude with a generous tip. There was a flutter of relief when the driver finally left. Then Ketan remembered that he still had to drag a wasted and puke-soaked Natalia into his apartment.

This was going to be a long night.

-

Surprisingly, Natalia didn’t put up a fight when Ketan lead her into his humble abode. Maybe she was too wasted to care that this wasn’t her own place. Even though Ketan felt like a creep, he knew he had to get the girl out of her spoilt dress. There was no way Natalia could stand up long enough to remove her clothes, so he sat her down on his couch.

„Sorry, don’t mean to be a perv, but we have to get you into something clean and dry.“

The last out of all possible reactions Ketan had expected was the very drunk version of a seductive smile, but that was exactly what Natalia gave him. With maximum discomfort, he pulled the dress over her head, doing his best not to soil her ombre hair. He tossed the saving piece of textile straight into the adjacent bathroom – a daily routine he was well-versed in when it came to his own clothes. Avoiding any closer look at Natalia in her underwear, he tried to wrap her in his blanket when she suddenly pulled him into a kiss.

To say that Ketan was flabbergasted would have been a gross understatement. His brain couldn’t even make sense of Natalia’s arms around his neck and her soft lips pressing against his own. She tasted like vomit and hard liquor, but that wasn’t the actual issue. Natalia’s ability to make rational decisions had clearly been drowned in a flood of alcohol. Gently but firmly, Ketan pushed her away and put the blanket around her shoulders.

Natalia stared at him in bewilderment.

„How dare you?“ Her voice quavered. „I’m way outta your league, you should have been grateful!“

„Nat… you don’t want to do this.“ Ketan tried to reach out for her, but Natalia slapped back his hand.

„You’re insane to turn down a woman like me!“, Natalia huffed. Then she hunched over and puked on Ketan’s lap. He cringed as the flaky mash splashed on his pants. This was definitely more than pure alcohol – maybe remains of the chicken nuggets they had forced on her earlier. Natalia sobbed, which immediately turned into a heave that brought up a second helping of soupy gruel. The spurt became thicker towards the end until the last lumps of sludge plopped heavily on Ketan’s thighs.

Natalia lifted her head. Trails of mascara ran down her flushed cheeks and mixed with the vomit stains around her mouth.

„Nobody needs me“, she wept, seemingly unaware of the fact that she had just thrown up on her friend. Ketan was overwhelmed by helplessness and compassion. Hesitantly, he put his hands on Natalia‘s shoulders.

„That is BS.“ Ketan softly wiped away Natalia’s tears, trying to ignore the puddle of sick that already began to cool down on his lap. Some bigger chunks of meat and soggy batter lazily slipped down the sides of his legs. „You are our friend. Of course we need you!“

„But Zena and Ezra are basically siblings and Calvin’s your best mate and now he’s Cassandra’s bae and I’m all alone.“

„What are you even talking about?“ Ketan put on an encouraging smile. „You’re still part of the squad. You fucked up pretty badly today, but I’m sure Cass will forgive you if you apologize.“

„I miss her“, Natalia cried and threw herself at Ketan again. She didn’t notice that she soiled herself (and the blanket) by crawling into her own congealed vomit. Ketan pushed his instinctive disgust aside and put his arms around Natalia’s body that was still wrecked with sobs.

„I know“, he soothed the trembling blonde. „You just have to be honest with her. Tell her that you were acting like an arrogant prick because you are terrified of losing her. I promise it won’t hurt you to be a little soft and vulnerable sometimes.“

„But what if she hates me?“ Natalia pressed her wet face against Ketan’s chest. It was incredible how she had turned from an overconfident queen into this shivering bundle of insecurities.

„No way!“ Ketan stroked back Natalia’s long hair. The light blond tips had not been spared by her vomiting fit. „If you open up, I’m sure she will understand. And even if she needs some time to get over your fight, you’re still not alone in this. I’m here for you, and I’m sure the others will be as well. Especially if you show them for once that you care about them.“

Ketan pulled Natalia closer and caressed her neck until she relaxed in his arms. As her body began to feel heavier, he carefully straightened her up.

„Don’t snooze off yet. We still have to clean ourselves up. You made quite the mess, my dear.“

„I dunno where that came from“, Natalia pouted.

„Well, I’m pretty sure I know.“ Ketan wrapped his arms around the intoxicated girl and led her into his bathroom. Physically and mentally exhausted, she was already half asleep under the warm shower and snuggled into the towel as Ketan dried her off. Against his better judgment, Ketan decided to postpone the puke cleaning session of his couch for the next day. He apologized in advance to future Ketan, then put his coziest pajamas on Natalia and himself before cuddling up with her in bed.

Ketan completely forgot about placing a bucket next to her bedside, but he was granted several hours of peaceful sleep before he came to regret this unfortunate oversight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Archive of our own: Up all night to get Bucky

tumblr: birdnamedenza

[obaewankenope]

The effort I went to for my undergraduate bachelors had me make a survey that covered a range of factors, whittled things down to those I needed, but allowed literally everyone who wanted to to participate in it. The fact that I then could use every participants responses in my study was entirely by design of my hypothesis and the research I was doing.

Quite literally, here's what "constraints" were in place in my thesis research: Participants were expected to be 18 or older with a good grasp of English as the survey itself was in English.

That was it. All data I collected for my thesis was useful and I made sure that everything I could get was something my actual hypothesis would allow me to utilise bc I was examining morality, Sexuality, and sexual attitudes in society. I quite literally required as big a demographic as I possibly could get (which I did, wahoo). But other research I'd done was narrower and less open to such a wide range of research, and I sure as heck made sure to justify why I was accepting such a range of data demographics for my thesis. Because oh boy did I have to to my supervisor.

This whole ass study makes me froth at the mouth because I had hundreds of responses, hundreds!, and I took extensive steps (to the point where my advisor was very overwhelmed, rip to him I guess, he didn't even really get what I was investigating... Queer representation was LOW at my uni then apparently) to ensure I was able to cover as many gods damned variables and factors as possible! Which, I had to justify the entire time! As you should! A researcher has a hypothesis they want to investigate, not necessarily prove or disprove. From there, they need data. The data should not be mined or potentially sourced in a way that makes it unethical or unreliable. If it's not representative because you cannot guarantee that everyone is being truth, then you need to state that clearly and have measures to examine your data further or to potentially go back to the drawing board for further refinement of your data collection methods.

This study.... This study apparently didn't do that. It uses the idea that YouGov must be truthful, or accurately representative, has a flawed ass definition of "fact" and "statement of fact" because it conflates those things for participants who may not understand the distinction and apparently doesn't even fuckin explain that distinction! Like-

I'd have failed with that approach for my undergrad thesis jfc. How the shits even-

This whole ass study is basically just a confirmation bias case and the fact that it went through so many circles of academic review is terrifying because you have to ask: what has happened to make this study get through all those hoops and to essentially have little to no additional information on the potential setbacks and inaccuracies of the data utilised?

But yeah, I wrote my undergad thesis when I was... Jesus 2015.... I was... 21? 22? 21... No, 21 (yikes). And I did it solo. And my thesis has more controls and recognition of extraneous variables and how, ultimately, sometimes the data you collect might actually be meaningless because you can't guarantee it's either accurate or reflective of the majority because, as @justheretobreakthings says: people lie.

Just- ugh. I hate it.

Source

Source

[y0yage]

i used to think that if I ever ran into him again I would probably cry and turn my back on him. I can’t comprehend what goes on in his mind but he knows he doesn’t have the right to say such things. After everything he’s put me through. but I’m the one apologising? I was so unhappy and miserable but I invested my entire being on him lol,——————————-. Or so that he could at least validate my feelings or care a little bit. I don’t know I don’t have it in me to hate him? But it’s kind of ridiculous. How I went against everything I stood for when it came to him, I regressed to before I was ever born because I was never this dumb . I appreciate the happy memories but there were far more bad days . At least for me . I think he moved on in a week or at most 2? It’s very telling , how little I meant . Especially with the way he acted after we stopped talking, it just made me lose any remaining feelings of fondness for him. he’s very predictable. So predictably mean . How did he expect me to react when I was forced to withhold all my emotions and when I did express them it would be shut down or made into my problem. What was I supposed to do when everything became my fault with him . What was I ever supposed to do. All I did was treat him the best that I could and from start to finish I tried my best to be so good for him. I don’t know why he makes things so difficult. And he claims he tries but everything always seems to return to the same issues. I wish he wouldn’t lie to me all the time. Then maybe the false hope wouldn’t drive me crazy. At that point nothing surprised me tho. He can paint me into whatever he wants me to but at the end of the day a lie will always be a lie no matter how many people believe it. I don’t care cuz clearly whoever believes him are people like him . It’s a sorry echo chamber . All I ever did was treat him well and the moment I retaliate to anything all the efforts I made are gone he minimises me into someone so insecure. When he in fact is the one that made me this way. I had so much trust in him I gave him so much of myself and then he gave me every reason not to trust him. And never even made the effort to regain my trust. How am i supposed to react when I wake up to disappointment everyday I can’t even voice it . And he is genuinely incapable of seeing a problem within himself,

should’ve listened when people were warning me , I should’ve listened but I acted otherwise. And I literally freaking carried such deep love for him. My feelings superseded all the disrespect but someone can only get so many chances and make so many “mistakes”. I hope he finds god or something of the sort, maybe texting girls online and taking his clothes off for them, telling them he loves them is his form of dedication to a higher being. Idunno? His love doesn’t expand beyond the confines of digital lust I suppose

I was so crazy and tolerant I was so blind

It isn’t fair. And still I remember the first day I met him he kept trying to convince himself that he’s a good person. “I’m just a nice guy” “I’m just a nice guy” It’s kind of funny. Clearly he isn’t. Especially to me, he was quite mean . It isn’t fair at all. Nothing is fair He always does this to me, its so easy for him to hurt me and he doesnt mind doing so. Then he tells me that he regrets it when he thinks about it but I know he doesn't because if he did he would change. its so manipulative. He wouldn't do that to anyone else but me. He's always hurting me and it doesn't touch him. Im so so so so sick of feeling this way. If he truly loved me he wouldn't have done this to me

I will pour my love out to someone or something that values me beyond “wanting” me. I wish to be heard and seen. he is he and I am gratefully me. that was yesterday, and today is today.

Let it be let it be let it be

[eroaneki]

It doesn't matter anymore, but I can't help but ask myself on occasion if it was all a lie.

That's the one thing that has tripped me up for years. I've never gotten over that. I can sometimes hardly even think about it before becoming so overwhelmed that I just can't anymore.

I mean now, I'm dating a great guy. We're engaged. We're happy for the most part. Shit gets rough sometimes but that's to be expected.

But the one thing feeding my inability to commit fully to someone, is this.

I don't know if my whole experience with him was genuine at any point. And the fact that I don't know bothers me so much more than I wanted to ever admit to myself.

When I started playing BG3 and Astarion admits that the whole beginning of your relationship was a fucking ruse, you cannot even begin to imagine how legitimately triggered I was.

I thought of nothing but him.

I literally went "holy shit, this is literally him."

And I just felt awful. Disgusting, really. All the feelings I had buried in a chest deep down that I haven't touched for years came up. Anger, sadness, disgust, shame, guilt, betrayal, hope.

I really need to focus on ending this. It doesn't matter anymore at all whether or not he was ever genuine about anything.

I'm successful. I won. I made it. And I should be proud of that, and I am.

But I guess it hurts because I did genuinely love him at some point, only for him to quite literally abuse that love for his own selfish benefit. He broke my trust so many times, over and over again.

And I just want to know why?

But I guess a simple answer would be that I was an easy target, even if I wasn't necessarily deserving of it. I was just there, and happened to comply easily.

And that used to make me feel really shameful, but now it doesn't. I was conveying love by trusting someone enough with my heart to not break it.

But they did, and they never seemed to ever give a flying fuck how many times they did it.

But what used to get me was the genuine disgust and disdain he had for himself over how and what he was. He hated himself. Truly, he did. Talking to me about ending shit a few times while he'd be in a panic.

He had someone take their own life one year on Christmas, and that's probably why I'm also thinking about this tonight. Christmas was always really hard for him. I used to have to talk him through it, or just be there for him so he didn't feel alone. He didn't get along with his step-parent also, and used to complain a lot about how the guy was always fucking with him.

He looked for a lot of validation in others, and was also desperately afraid of people leaving him. The two big motivators of everything he did.

He'd make promises he could never keep to everyone in his life in an effort to make them happy, often at his own expense.

He did not take rejection well because you might as well be telling him you hate him. Again, very afraid of being left alone.

Never did it with me but proposed to a number of different girls after dating for short intervals because he was absolutely desperate to have someone who couldn't leave, at least not easily. He also tried to convince me to not get plan b after sleeping with me (entrapment with a child) but did drive me to go get it anyway.

I just think about everything and I'm like what the fuck was I involved in for 7 years?

And sometimes I just wanna spam message him on social media and scream that he owes me an apology, or sometimes I feel like I owe him an apology for hopefully not ruining his life in any way. Probably because he's impacted mine.

But what stops me every time is I have no idea if any of this was ever real in the first place.

So I pretend it wasn't, and I go about my daily business.

Odds are it was just a game, a fun distraction. And that I was the only player.

It doesn't make me sad to admit that. It used to. But not when I know I was just following what I thought was actually happening between the both of us.

[thecurioustale]

When I was younger I used to accept things like this as true, because deep down I have a hard time imagining that people would be deceptive or sloppy. But, having long since learned better, I went and looked to see how much of this meme is real.

First of all, I am happy to report that the poem being excerpted here is indeed real! There really was a poem about (and I paraphrase) "a butt that oppresses us both, me because I can't stop thinking about it and she because it tires her out to to lug around." Which makes me happy, because the only reason I bothered to fact-check this meme or am bothering now to write about it is that this kind of poetry absolutely sizzles! 🥵🥰

Yet this is the only part about this meme that's true. Everything else in that picture—everything else—is either a deliberate lie or negligently false.

First things first: The opening line, "She has an ass below a slender waist," isn't real. Fact-checking this specific line was a key secondary goal of mine because it triggered my "thinwashing" senses. There was a strong vein of fat admiration in Arab culture for many centuries, largely coincident with its era of enlightenment. (The cultural fat admiration arguably still survives in pockets of the Middle East today even though the Arab enlightenment has long since descended into a dark age.) I was suspicious of this line because "big butt, small waist" a very popular Western fad at this moment in time whereas the Arabs of a thousand years ago didn't tend to be that self-deceiving and more so just celebrated fatness openly when they saw fit to celebrate it at all. So I suspected that whomever translated this poem into English as was thinwashing it.

The true opening line of the poem makes a metaphor with a tree. A very literal translation from Google reads:

She walked like a branch bent by the breeze The breeze blows and it straightens up

I checked out the vocabulary word by word and, literally at least, I am confident that this is what the text actually says. What I can't attest to is the figurative depth of the text. I tried mightily to picture this metaphor in a way that might shed light on whether the poet had any deeper meaning in the line (which he almost certainly did). So I can't categorically rule out that there is something in this text that implies a slender waist. But it seems very unlikely, as evidenced by the following line:

She has a buttock that hangs in a gentle way That buttock us unjust to me and to her

My best effort to visualize this metaphor on the human body is that what the poet is saying is that this lady's butt is so fat that it bounces and sways as she walks, like a droopy tree (e.g. a willow) in the breeze.

If that reading is correct, it still doesn't categorically rule out a "slender waist," but it does make it exceedingly unlikely.

If I am honest, my single biggest purpose in writing this little essay is to call out the thinwashing that is likely occurring here: the perhaps-unintentional but nevertheless malicious erasure of one of history's relatively fewer examples of art that glorifies fatness and fat bodies. Big butts are hot in Western culture right now, but fatphobia is concomitantly so incredibly strong that most people fall over backwards to ensure that everyone knows they only like "big butts" and not "fat bodies"; they perform all kinds of horrible contortions to depict exaggerated, almost caricaturized female bodies that are completely thin except for a large butt (not "fat"; just "large" i.e. like a thin butt that is drawn physically bigger but with none of the characteristics that actually accompany a big butt). (And they usually add big breasts too). I say "almost" caricaturized because these bodies do naturally exist, and are valid; but they are very rare and the cultural celebration of big butts merely exploits this body type to celebrate fatness while simultaneously denying and erasing fatness.

Whomever did the translation that appears in this meme—assuming it was all done at the same time by one person; it's also possible the thinwashing was added later by somebody else—clearly decided that the poem would be better if it started by saying that the subject is thin. Maybe they didn't know what to make of the tree metaphor, or didn't believe that it landed effectively or upheld the core image of the poem. Maybe the tree metaphor does contain some insinuation of thinness that I am missing. Maybe they were just being horny on main and decided to intensify the sexual appeal by altering it to fit their own ideal of a skinny waist and a big butt. But in any case, I tend to frown on this kind of translation, translation that erases the original text (in this case the tree metaphor) and replaces it with something else. Even if there were no further harm caused, I think this does an injury to readers, because it obscures the original imagery. That's bad enough in general, but especially glaring in poetry. And of course in this case there is additional harm, the aforementioned thinwashing that occurs because of this alteration. And I would caution anyone who may find themselves translating stuff in the future to be better than the person who translated this.

If you're curious about the other lines, the literal translation from Google reads:

It tortures me when I think about it It tires her out when she gets up

So the meme is fundamentally correct that this is a poem about celebrating somebody who was some degree of fat, particularly in the butt.

We don't know how much or how little. Supersized people have always existed, albeit for most of history as a much smaller percentage of the population than today. But there were absolutely folks living a thousand years ago who weighed a quarter of a ton or more.

It isn't clear to me how literal versus how hyperbolic the poet was being. Maybe this beautiful lady of his was merely chubby, and the bit about her butt tiring her out when she stood up was purely a sexual exclamation point. Or maybe she was five hundred pounds and literally did struggle to stand up. Or anywhere in between.

Either way, the text is absolutely electric—both the literal Google translation of the original Arabic, and the edgier translated version in the meme. "An ass that oppresses us both" is an excellent translation, conveying the original artistic intent to our modern sensibilities much better than the original text does, without obscuring or erasing the original text whatsoever.

Anyway! Now that that gyatt's out of my system, let's continue the fact-checking. I mentioned that, other than the core premise of the poem, everything about this meme is false.

Let's start with the fact that the poem doesn't end there. This was hard to track down, but luckily there was some redditor a month ago who posted a link to the original poem in the comments. This is a website of Arab-language poetry:

Using Google Translate on that works a charm, and that's what I've been doing here.

The part of the poem we saw is just the beginning; the full poem actually goes on quite a bit longer: The speaker states that his love for this person is a torment, and compares her to gazelle, and apparently she killed some dude and is on the lam or otherwise fleeing (I'm not entirely clear), and there's lots of flowery language about love toward the end that I would classify as downright boring. Honestly, the poem kind of loses the thread of the plot; I can see why only the beginning part made it into the meme. The rest of the poem is just not memorable. Art is often like this, with moments of brilliance interspersed amid mundanity like diamonds in ore.

Finally, the last two ways in which the poem is false are that the author and the time period are both misstated. I'm a little more tenuous on this one, but it does seem that Ibn Amr Al-Aghmati—with "Amr" sometimes written in English as "Omar," and his full name being Abu Hafs Amr ibn Abdullah ibn Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Amr al-Sulami al-Aghmati—is the true author, not Abu Hasan al-Sari. Going by the artist's lifetime, then, this poem must have been composed in the 12th century, not the 10th. In my efforts to find out more, I discovered a comment on Reddit from just a few weeks ago. (I imagine the newness of all this discourse is because the meme is presently going viral.) This Redditor states that the person wrongly named in the meme, Abu Hasan al-Sari, actually compiled an anthology of poetry at some later point in the timeline, and his anthology included this poem. A pretty honest mistake!

I also found another Reddit comment in the same thread by someone who had bothered to track down the original and offer a translation, as well as a link to the Arab Wikipedia page for the poet.

Indeed, except for the thinwashing (which there is a sliver of a possibility that the tree metaphor actually somehow accommodates), there seems to be no bad faith in this meme. It looks to be more likely that it was just poorly researched.

One last thing before I go! Over on Twitter, someone got upset at the crassness of the English translation, and, in a rather unflatteringly gatekeepy way, nevertheless wrote his own, flowery translation.

Upon her slender frame doth rest a form ⠀⠀⠀most ample, fair yet bold, This sight beheld from aft doth prove a burden ⠀⠀⠀joint we both must hold, It haunts my thoughts with fervent fire, While she, to stand, doth strain and tire.

On one hand, his translation is pretty underwhelming. But on the other hand, and the reason I mention it, is that, 25 years ago, I would totally have been that person too. So I get it, and I do think the contrast between "an ass that oppresses us both" and "this sight beheld from aft doth prove a burden" offers a reminder that so much of poetry lies in the infinite possibilities of expressing the same ideas in different ways, thus fundamentally transforming our relationships with those ideas.

[f-list-questionable]

Not f-list, I just wanted to share my earliest #badrpstory from about 12 years ago.

Just look at this nightmare of a bio and know that this person had a fandom.

They had a roleplay group on deviantart for their fandom, where people could play OCs for this world where L4D(2) zombie children were still cognizant and so were shuffled back into public schooling.

Your character had to be either a student or a faculty member at this school. The moderators, all this person or their friends, were rarely present. When they were there it was to roleplay their own characters who were neither students nor teachers, and there was an unwritten rule that we were NOT to attempt to interact with their scenes, which were preplanned. You were also not to post too much while they were playing. In that way it was less of a roleplay room, and more of a stage for their OCs.

...

The first time I remember getting in serious trouble, they had set up a wedding scene and in the process made a huge deal about there being an excess of catering, so some of us decided our characters would break into the venue and steal some food-- because they were borderline feral children with intensified senses, of course they were going to. We thought that was the point. Wacky hijinks ensued with the mods responding to their efforts with strange and hilarious deterrents like being struck by lightning. Our characters forged on in the quest for cake and overpriced baked ravioli.

Out of nowhere the mods break character and start screaming at us about how this is a "private scene" and we "can't take a fucking hint".

...

The next time we ran into trouble a friend of mine had invented some kind of strange ink blob characters related to their OC. I don't even remember what the content of the RP was but the mods cursed them in all caps. "TELL ME WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ZOMBIES?" over and over.

I don't know, what does Alan Wake have to do with zombies? What does TRON have to do with Zombies? What does the Self-Insert Principal's 8-legged rainbow color-shifting pet dragon have to do with Zombies?

...

The last straw was when I made an OC like that looked like this.

My friend messages me and tells me the mods are freaking out in the chat calling me a plagiarist. I join chat and immediately get dogpiled. Accusations, insults, snark, sarcasm, "did you think we wouldn't know".

What was my crime?

"Cheek patches".

Yes, the generic animu blushies were the problem. You see, the "cheek patches" were a real physical feature on the main character's face. The main character, who was otherwise quite literally nothing more than a chibified Hunter. This was a genetic trait he shared with his brother, which would regrow when pulled off, and because my RPC, who happened to also be a short hunter, was drawn with this? That meant she was a ripoff of their extremely original Do Not Steal OC.

They would not accept this as a stylistic choice. No no, in THIS universe, blushies are REAL, and YOU COPIED THEM. When chat pushed back, then suddenly I was a style thief, despite myself then having an overly soft wannabe-semirealism style while the owner's had an extremely angular toony look, as above.

They kept tearing me down for over 30 minutes, during which they went on to lie about her younger brother to make the two of them seem more alike to the MC duo. They told everyone that he was a "tall quiet Smoker" like the main character's best friend, when he was actually a Spitter, of average height, and who was definitely not quiet but instead had no jaw and could not speak.

Nothing about their appearances besides a height gap and the shorter having "cheek patches" were similar, neither body nor clothes. In fact, they both broke norms for their respective Infected types. My friends tried to help. They pointed out that most other Hunters in the group were far more similar to the MC, and that other characters that had been submitted with the same "cheek patches" were accepted. That many OCs were the same but with a different shaped hood, or added bunny ears, sometimes just visible eyes or hair. They also pointed out that one of their own mods' OCs was basically a genderswapped version of the MC's older sibling with a similar name, and they were very obviously trying to match the owner's art style as well.

Despite this, I was singled out and berated until I was sobbing like a bitch. I left the group, deleted the character, and removed all mentions of the group off my page and every deviation I'd ever made for it. I still don't know why I was targeted.

...

What gets to me these days is realizing that we were exposed to some pretty weird shit in that group. Some of the players were obviously very young, as in not old enough to use the site kind of young, and the owner gave us the impression that they were much older than they really were to give the appearance of being responsible, knowledgeable, in control....constantly mentioning being an old man with a boring job. Mid-to-late-20s type. They were actually only 18 when I joined.

The problem there is that this led us to believe that the inappropriate topics we encountered in that room were a normal and safe way for grown adults to communicate with us. Sex topics were "normal". Being bullied by adults was "normal".

All of the pictured characters are underage, some as young as 12. And this was just the norm. Why did they accept sexualized character submissions from minors? Why was this displayed to minors? And why was this just the way people behaved on the internet back then?