#so that's where i'm at
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i love them i am ill for them hh
#AndyArts#Bambi Draws#2024#Homestuck#Sollux Captor#Hal Strider#Lil Hal#Solhal#Halsol#Hallux#Should i do more with robot hal? yeah probably#but you better fuckin believe that i'm only think of Twin AU Hal cuz i'm trying my damnest to write a thing#so that's where i'm at#new year new me but the also still the same yknow
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iiiii have been so needy today and i just want to be touched and babied
wanna sit in his lap while he fingers meeeee
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It might seem like I’ve forgiven or forgotten about the GramBlack situation since I haven’t posted about it probably since the show ended. But I think I’m actually becoming angrier about it over time. Which is how you know they really fucked up. I have lots of non-canon ships. And usually I stay mad about it until the next one comes along, and then I can just enjoy them without being mad after that. But not this one. Every time I think about it, the more insidious it seems. I just don't believe the early episodes weren't pointing at GramBlack. And it simply does not make sense that a show that got so many things right could screw this up so completely.
#not me#not me the series#gramblack#critical#just thought everyone should know#i say to myself#no but really#i still get so angry every time i think about it#which is every day#so that's where i'm at#and where gramblack is at is in love#thank you very much
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I've been thinking a lot about Eve's symbolic funeral for herself this last week or so
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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#honestly.....#I'm so sad I didn't get to see them#cause the sky was so cloudy where I live???#and they were visible here in portugal so it makes things WORSE!#northern lights
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#and so milgram was born#milgram#meme#Jackalope#hope no one has done this already#this post broke containment. if you're here for tma this is about a music project called milgram where prisoners in a panopticon sing song#about their crimes . anyway . the warden is a talking jackalope .#which was edited into this post. so uh. he is on your blog now#i thought it was very obvious that this was an edited icon and display name but apparently some people think Twitter op was a milgram fan#I'm sorry to disappoint
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I thought I've just been having a bad day for the past six months but I realized I probably need a med change or a higher dosage
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brainrot so bad i accidentally visualized and wrote several scenes in my head while i was getting a massage on my honeymoon
#they just came to me SO clear in that moment#like a movie!!!#and they're all so angsty lmao#i was still very relaxed dw#so that's where i'm at
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Been mostly lurking on here lately. Just dealing with immense stress rn and my body has decided to react to that stress with agonising and debilitating pain and migraines.
But yeah. I'm around. Just quiet. 💜
#About me 2k24#Sitting upright to eat breakfast made me cry from pain#So that's where I'm at#I'm having a bad day
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'can i copy your homework?'
'yeah just don't make it obvious'
#literally bar for bar i'm SICKKKKKK#tumblr#tumblr update#put that thing back where it came from or so help me#imagine getting rid of everything that makes your website design unique and instead just stealing the layout of the site you slander so muc
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey
#fallout#fallout tv show#my art#lucy maclean#i was not expecting it to be so good but it was!! delightful#i think i like video game adaptations better when they do their own thing with it lol#such a relief to instead of seeing something regurgitated mindlessly for profit#its actually just a completely fresh story but in a familiar setting. cool balm on my skin#i guess that's where i'm at in the remake hell we all live in rn#ella purnell has the sweetest biggest eyes i've ever god damn seen
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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Me, never once before interested in honkai star rail:
Boothill:
Me, actively googling how to play: Country more like cunty ayy
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