#so that now I may feel better and maybe move on with my life and not do this more
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25 predictions for 2025 (pick-a-card reading)
happy new year sillies <3 01-01-2025 ☆
disclaimer: all of my readings are just for fun, you write your own story every day of your life, dont let me tell you how to live it
pile 1 > pile 2 pile 3 > pile 4
pile 1
biggest theme: change
reflexion and redirection are major elements of the new year
breaking free of past shackles : discarding old things
miracle year, a lot of wonderful things are coming
be selfish. you are in charge of your own happiness
you will learn to love yourself this year
fulfilling year especially in terms of career or academics. make sure to properly prepare in order to gain an edge over others
early bird gets the worm mentality
"winter arc" mindset the whole year. "lock in"
first six months will be very busy, you'll focus on yourself and not have the time for romance
learning how to collaborate with others
big lesson: learning how to work through burnout
august 2025 will be a very happy month for you
potential summer fling, will reginite flames you didn't know you had
some kind of soul fulfillment, could potentially be romantic or personal
imbalanced feminine energy, learning to reconnect with your divine feminine
a turbulent period will occur (im hearing mercury retrograde)
last half of the year might be grey
sleepy energy, taking things slower
make sure to rest, dont push yourself to move when sluggy
you're going to end the year with a nice energy. i see you surrounded by lots of family, friends and people you hold dear
if last year did not feel chrismassy, dont worry, because this year will
an extra message about children and new families. pregancy within you or another may occur
releasing all anxieties caused by this year, and a lot of reflexion
overall a pretty good year, some guidance i might give would be to not push yourself over the edge, and try not to drink too much caffiene <3
pile 2
biggest theme: self love
i get the feeling you've lost someone very important this year, most likely a break up, but you still have feelings for them
disillusionment and prioritizing yourself are big themes for this year
you're going to recognize that this person was pretty toxic and will take them off of their pedestal
learning how to fall in love again, with yourself and with life
reconnecting with your femininity
a lot of themes about toxicity and distancing yourself from people that don't have your best interests at heart
crown chakra healing by taking one day at a time (a LOT of light purple imagery in this reading)
very tumultuous first few months of the year, you'll feel like your life is flipping upside down and rightside up for a while
reconnecting with your spiritual guides and your spirituality/religion will bring you peace
if you're not religious, exploring some concepts may occupy your time
potential new romantic interest, but you must fall in love with yourself first
advice i can give would be to start something new, and to spend a lot of time by yourself. take yourself on dates and spend time with loved ones
sleep is very important this year, maybe consider starting a dream journal
i feel like most of you will get into some kind of artsy hobby this year. this can be anything from visual to musical to physical, but i can see it becoming a big passion
learning how to be more flexible in your thoughts and actions is a big lesson
springtime (particularly may) will be an amazing period
indie movie life in the spring, it'll feel like your life is straight out of a book
productivity, creativity, and happiness will be at an all-time high
you'll meet so many new people during this time, and im seeing some travelling too
child-like energy, almost like a giddy joy
make sure to not forget your responsabilities, i can see that you might be too caught up in your excitement and forget to balance work and play
overall very good year. it might not feel like it right now, but things are guarenteed to get better <3
some guidance i would give would be to reflect on your past, but never to dwell in it
pile 3
biggest theme: new beginnings and hope
amazing potential, i can see you're carrying something precious from 2024, and wanting it to grow in the new year
it will, but be sure to wait for the right time and approach it with dedication, consistency and care
strong foundations are laid, but be sure to not be reckless
good communication and problem resolving skills are going to be very important this year
flexibility and detachment are going to be vital too, dont try to control situations and dictate outcomes
forgive others for their mistakes but be sure to be assertive too
for those in a romantic relationship: this relationship will last a long time <3
messages about changing your identity, there will be a time when you dont recognize yourself, take some time to reconnect with your inner values
"lucky girl syndrome" mindset. you'll be attracting so many blessings this year
abundance really is yours this year, the cards are showing so many blessings coming your way
affirm to yourself that you have everything you desire, and it will appear
summertime will be an extremely happy period for you. i see a lot of happy memories being made, and a lot of productivity as well
the end of summer and fall might be when things slow down a little, i see a little more uncertainty and anxiety, but it will all pass
big emphasis on relationships this year, but mostly romantic
for those currently in a relationship, here is confirmation that your person is a soulmate and will be in your life long-term
for the singles out there, you'll soon meet an amazing person (timeframe: june or july)
in terms of academics and career, your year will be pretty tame
there will be important decisions to make, and that might stress you out, but the outcome will be good
bottom line: the ending of this year will be good, and there's nothing you can do to change that
important lessons you will need to learn will be to think things through before acting upon them, hanging with people you feel truly appreciate you, and walking away when you feel they don't
appearances may be deceiving, make sure the people you surround yourself with have your best interests at heart
do not compare yourself with others, this year will hammer in that lesson time and time again
overall a very good year, some guidance i would give would be to guard your heart from people with negative intentions. there are snakes and backstabbers everywhere, keep yourself safe <3
pile 4
biggest theme: self-improvement
this year you'll return to your roots, fully shedding your old life to try and reconnect with your innermost values
reassess what works for you and what doesn't, i sense a lot of toxcitity in your life
this year you'll develop many new relationships with many new people
these relationships will provide interpersonal insight: remember that you are who you surround yourself with
this year, you'll practice setting boundaries
its never aggressive to be assertive, and those who matter won't mind
despite the heavy focus on new relationships, prioritize yourself
going on walks, meditating, journalling and going on solo dates are all amazing ways to start to feel comfortable alone
this year will be full of endings, dont resist it, embrace it
change isn't inherently bad, just like how difference isn't inherently bad
very financially stable year, you'll be more open to taking career risks
if there were any financial struggles in the past year, take comfort in knowing there will be little to nothing of the sort in the future
be careful to not be boastful about your finances though, as its better to succeed in silence
you create your own happiness, you are the main character, stop relying on others to save you
this year, you'll stop seeking others validation and look inside of yourself to find what you've been searching for in others
you'll be stepping into a bad bitch energy this year, one that feels comfortable being alone or with others
strong leadership is something you'll be developping this year, as well as strong manifestation skills
you want it, you're going to get it!!
go after all of your goals this year, hesitance will do you no good
i can see that at the end of the year, you'll emerge a totally different person
you'll be more confident, self-assured and more joyful (i sense that autumn is an important time period)
overall, this year will be a fresh chapter in your life
you'll shed the old you, bad habits, and negative aspects to make way for a life and personality that's authentically you
some advice i would give would be to not be afraid to stand apart, dont worry about the opinions of others
speak of success, and it will come to you <3
#pac#pick a pile#tarot#pick a card#tarot reading#intuition#intuitive messages#pac tarot#intuitive#intuitive readings#free tarot reading#manifestation#have an amazing 2025 <3
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some thoughts and extra content on my how is your youth? mini-series, where booseoksoon are your youth ✦ stories of the past (soonyoung), present (seokmin), and future (seungkwan).
(1) as mentioned, all titles are from day6's remember us : youth part 2. being a carat x myday strikes again lol. the references are very loose/barely there, but this is one of the first albums i think of when i think of the word 'youth'! it also has some of my favorite day6 songs of all time. (:
(2) when the series was but an idea clanging around in my brain, i went to maplegyu for advice. i gave her an inch ('dk is childhood crush coded'), and in turn, she gave me a mile ('a playmate u met for the summer that impacted ur life but never saw again'). when i say maple has helped me come up with some of my best ideas, i mean it. attaching her review here because it gave me so much joy!
(3) i couldn't find the photos that would pull it off, but i wanted seokmin to show off the rings that he still had from reader ): in my imagination, the rings are the plastic, toy type that you win from a gashapon machine/can buy at the cornerstone/et cetera. some visuals -ish:
(3.1) when reader and seokmin start dating, he starts wearing the ring in a necklace. he also never stops calling reader his 'wife' despite protests.
(4) no better place to drop this, but here's a panel that didn't make it into the final smau because of space/pacing issues! would have been towards the ending. (:
(5) i hadn't intended for lorde's ribs to be a recurring theme throughout the work, but it helped me realize that i wanted each of the readers to have internal conflicts (as much as bss might have). it ended up going as follows:
so cool!reader being scared of growing old
121U!reader holding grudges
days gone by!reader moving on from what-could-have-been's
(6) the first rain of may (referred to as unang ulan ng mayo in my country, and agua de mayo in spanish) is viewed as mentioned— something that's supposed to be 'healing'. it felt most appropriate to associate with seokmin, who embodies healing in his own way. 🌻
(7) the idea of focusing on soonyoung's taekwondo history is once again maple's, and the specifics on the rivalry (i.e. lacing up armor, pulling during stretches, racing during suicides) are all from sarangcoups. i felt very strongly about a childhood!soonyoung being a little bit annoying over having a crush— the type who mistakenly believed that bullying = affection.
(8) by this point, i started locking in the idea of each boy representing either the past, present, or future, which is laid out more clearly as follows:
seokmin, who associates reader as his youth which he wants in the present
soonyoung, who carried his past with him and learns from it on the daily
seungkwan, who plans to face the future with the love he received from his youth
(9) i realized belatedly that soonyoung's smau is shorter than the others, which is why i tried to compensate with a longer -ish headcanon format. nonetheless, it was fun to explore his voice both in the texts and the written part. he's still a little obnoxious, but it's endearing. out of all the work in the series, this one feels like the one that's likeliest to get more parts (but don't hold me to it! haha).
(10) up until posting, i was on the fence about whether i should conclude seungkwan's story the way that it ended. that's why i ended up publishing it a couple days off 'schedule', primarily because i had to contemplate whether i was cheating seungkwan out of a 'happy ending' because soonyoung/seokmin got theirs.
and so maybe that's why i feel like i have a soft spot for this particular verse now because it helped me remember something important: romantic love is not the end all be all. a happy ending is still possible without it. how foolish of me to forget that, and how apt is it for me to be reminded with a story of seungkwan when it's something he would very easily tell people in a heartbeat.
(11) the alternate romantic ending would have still featured a similar line wherein seungkwan insists that 'kwannie' belongs to reader, but i pulled it out at the last minute when i realized— 'kwannie' doesn't exist anymore. it's a past version of him, one that the reader has maybe romanticized in her head. so, yes.
high school almost-lover 'kwannie' is reader's, but present-day 'seungkwan' is not.
(12) MOAs might recognize this, but the last line of seungkwan's interview is from a well-known soobin quote. it's something i think of constantly, and i feel like it's also something that seungkwan himself would believe in.
(13) another slide i cut for space reasons (replaced with seungkwan's '27' tweet):
it was posed as a gentle reminder from reader -> seungkwan that, as the lyric goes, life has just begun. it's also a prompt for him to not pick up only on the sad parts of the song/life, when the good lyric/part is in the very next breath.
tl;dr, your youth is whatever you want it to be. whether you are stuck in the past, living in the present, or afraid of the future— know that there is a love that waits, and it will be a good love. i promise you that.
like i always say: this story was mine once, but it's all yours now. ❥ thank you for reading along, and happy bss comeback szn!
how is your youth? 📢 a booseoksoon three-parter.
three independent smaus featuring booseoksoon, who you've had the pleasure of knowing throughout various stages of your life. or: verses where bss are your youth.
ⓘ synopses under the cut. aus will be linked back here once posted. happy bss comeback season, everyone!
do you remember...
so cool ✮ seokmin x reader.
... the kid you pretend-married on the playground? you were only 'spouses' for one summer, but you have the photographic evidence to prove it. it would be nice to know how he's doing, right?
121U ✮ soonyoung x reader.
... the annoying guy from your after-school taekwondo class? you hated his guts. you don't even really care much for the sport anymore; you just want to get back at him for making your life a living hell.
days gone by ✮ seungkwan x reader.
... your first love from high school? sure, you never really dated him, but your feelings were very much valid. whether they've stood the test of time is the real question— and it looks like you're about to to get some answers.
with love, kae ✎ a very special shoutout to the best of the best, @maplegyu, for helping me brainstorm some of these (..◜ᴗ◝..) starting the year with bss, lfg!
all titles are from day6's remember us : youth part 2.
› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao
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i ain't even gon hold anyone anymore i lowkey need swansea rape. like... he's not that type of guy AT ALL but i need some swansea pseudo-incest rape. he's my dilf crush so i need to assign him a sleazy pervy second side
-👧🏿nonnie who's so fucking gone
oh my god nonnie.
SWANSEA RAPE? SOUND THE ALARMS! A FIRE IDEA HAS HIT THE TOWER!!!!!!!!
umm I may have gotten carried away with this,,,, TW for noncon, unprotected sex, and a creampie :3
swansea really doesn't fucking like you, has never liked you, and always tries to keep you away from him, but you won't get off his back. you're more annoying than daisuke, and daisuke annoys the ever living hell out of him.
its clear you have some type of issue that just keeps you clinging to him, and there doesn't seem to be much he can do about it.
so when you can't beat 'em, you take advantage of your situation.
you're doe eyed and naive, the perfect target for any low level sleaze to have his way with you, which he plans on doing. you trust him enough to cling to him like a damned leech, so its not hard to get you alone in utility.
even easier for him to get his hand down your pants, and before you realize whats happening, his thick fingers are already scissoring your juicy cunt open.
jesus, you're already soaking wet. he tells himself its because of his old charm, not because of basic biology or whatever. you clearly want this, even if you're crying and struggling against him.
despite being up there in age, swansea's pretty strong. you don't stand a chance against him.
once his fingers are done opening you up, it's time for the main event: his dick.
it's been a while since he's been in this position. his wife doesn't care much for sex anymore, and neither did he, until you came along.
suddenly, his libido's back and better than ever.
one hand clamps down on your mouth in case you try to scream, while the other moves your dainty little panties to the side. your pussy is practically begging him to fuck it, and so he will.
you never thought you'd get raped by a man you considered as a fatherly figure, but life has a way of throwing wrenches into the happy ideals people love to have.
his dick isn't very big, but it is wide, so it feels like theres a battering ram stretching you wide open. it's girthy enough to make your insides feel like mush, to bring tears to your eyes, to make your legs feel like jelly.
every stroke breaks your little heart, piece by piece. you don't know why he decided to do this to you. maybe you should've stayed away when you had the chance.
you don't have time to dwell on your poor judgement, because your thoughts get jumbled with every snap of swansea's hips.
a con of being old is the loss of stamina, and swansea isn't exactly the stud he used to be. gone is the man who could last for hours keeping his partners satisfied, now a bitter old man who would rather work than use his dick.
it was over as quick as it started, ending with swansea painting your gummy walls white. his pull out game isn't like it used to be either.
you collapse as soon as its over. your legs can't handle your weight.
and of course, he simply zips his pants up and leaves. no one goes to utility, so no one would come to your aid.
as you lay on the cold ground, you think. about all the times swansea told you to get lost, or how he would always shoo you away.
but the cold hard truth is that swansea would've done it no matter what you chose to do. he was going to do this anyway. it was just a matter of time.
you were a ticking time bomb, and he was the detonator.
#goonrbox 🐾#nonnies ☆#👧🏿non#mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing swansea#swansea x reader#swansea x you#dead dove fic#dead dove do not eat#dark content fic#mouthwashing smut#swansea mw
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so a super old friend from literal primary school just reached out to me for the first time in like over a decade and they have a kid now and stuff and I'm just sitting with the fact that I'm like almost in my late 20's and literally have nothing to show for it.
Like 'what have you been up to'
Literally nothing. Trauma and nasty people being nasty. Im essentially back to where I was as a teen. So anyway, cute kid 🥺 I'm gonna keel over and die now.
#no but its literally super sweet of them to reach out obviously cause they 100% did have to at all#like we initially went to the same high school but they moved to a different school cause bullying and we kinda grew apart#like they have always been a super nice person to me and because of all the shit ive been through this past decade#i really dont have any friends left so having someone think of me made me super teary and sad#anyway maybe check in on people you used to be friends with cause they may be going through some tough times and its just nice to hear that#someone is thinking of you#i could literally ball my eyes out cause i experienced such debilitating mental illness as a kid that i didnt have treated til in my 20s an#i feel like its a huge reason none of the people that i thought were my friends stuck around and i just feel super lonely a lot#like yay my brains finally healing but now what#anyway sorry to ramble im just a bit fragile right now#its brought up a lot of really nice memories and i just cant believe how old those memories are and i wish i was a better friend#not dnp#lol#bipswordvomit#sorry i try to keep my real life off here for the most part but i guess anonymously screaming into the digital void is freeing sometimes
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#i cannot fucking believe that my half-baked psilocybin therapy is working. this is so crazy.......#less than 4 months ago i was incredibly suicidal and my depression + trauma kept me from doing basic shit. i couldnt fucking enjoy anything.#and now i take literally no medicine except a gram of psilocybin every month or so. and i hesistate to say its 'fixed' me bc i still have#a lot of issues and i still have bad days#BUT. my life is so much better now..... i can actually feel good when i do things i like. im able to get important stuff done much easier#and im having bad days instead of bad WEEKS. when my cptsd gets triggered its still horrific and debilitating but the come down from it is#much faster and im able to function properly sooner#today i managed to talk to my leasing office about moving in a few days earlier and they said yes!!! ive manage to pack a BUNCH#of my stuff into my car for when i start moving in tomorrow. ive made an important phone call!!!#i still had to jump through the hoop of executive dysfunction BUT. normally i have to go through an obstacle course of it#every time i do it i feel like i get a little bit better. i try to make a 'plan of attack' every time i take them.#make my place feel as comfortable and safe as possible. i keep a journal nearby and relaxing music playing. and i try to sortof like#i guess a mix of introspection + reparenting in a way. i go with the flow but i try to focus on a way of thinking thats unhealthy#and try to tease + pick apart the reasons its unhealthy; while also trying to replace it with a healthier way of thinking#if that makes sense??? all while just. idk. feeling safe and at ease.#and ill feel kinda weird for at most a day afterwards bc lets be real. its psychedelic mushrooms. but afterwards i just feel much#lighter and generally just more at peace?#maybe its bc of how vulnerable i am while in an altered mental state; it may replicate the vulnerability i experienced as a child.#but rather than be abused for being vulnerable im being gentle and kind to myself??? idek man its weird.#anyways thats the end of my rambling im just thinking outloud
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ requiem of a cringe
did something embarrassing last night and was like "I need to go crawl in a hole and die. OR I could write"
type of post: blurbs characters: cater, rook, jack, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (the term "damsel in distress" is used in vil's part, but it's meant to be teasing and not indicative of the reader's gender), reader is yuu, rook is rook
I. Talks Too Much
It's not that you're trying to be annoying.
Your mouth simply moves faster than your mind, and before you know it, you've been talking for twenty uninterrupted minutes about... well... nothing.
You always notice that uncomfortable, irritated look on their face just after you're done. And then you keep rambling in an attempt to make it less awkward (it never does).
And now you're here, hiding in the hedge maze outside Heartslabyul, thinking about getting lost and never coming out of it.
Of course, if anyone were to find you now, it'd be him.
"Hey, hon~ you busy?"
"Please, not now, Cater," you mutter.
The boy stills, looking a little taken aback by how miserable you sound.
"Are you still upset about that thing at the Unbirthday Party? That was hours ago, babe! I bet no one even remembers,"
You physically cringe. The faces of your uncomfortable tablemates won't seem to leave your memory...
"I remember it," you murmur, burying your face in your hands. "I'm so annoying."
For once, Cater is quiet. A minute goes by, and you think he may have left, until you hear the grass crunching under his knees as he kneels down and pulls you into a hug.
"You are not annoying. And even if you were, it'd only make me like you more," he mutters, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Understand?"
Your surprise at his change in tone doesn't stop you from hugging back. "Understood,"
You hadn't meant to say all of that.
You just spilled a potion you'd been working on for hours, and amidst your frustrated floor-scrubbing, you had vented about your entire week to your poor lab partner, a person you had been trying to impress all semester.
He had, gracefully, let you finish your rant, and then let you sit in it, just like the harmless potion now coating your knees as you cleaned up the floor.
Then, he awkwardly said: "That... sucks. I guess. I don't know what to say,"
There had probably never, in your whole life, been a person who looked more unhappy to be around you.
Afterwards, you found a nice spot in the woods behind campus to die.
You lie there, hoping nature would reclaim you before next alchemy class, when some purposefully loud rustling in the bushes catches your eye.
"Ah, Trickster! You really should not lie like that- a predator will take that as weakness, non? Are you injured?"
"Only my pride,"
"Talking about it will make you feel better," Rook says. It's more of a demand than a question.
You sigh. "I think I've done enough talking for... ever, actually,"
"Nonsense," he suddenly straddles your waist and pins your wrists to the earth. "I will not move until you tell me the problem, mon cœur."
You're like an animal in a snare. Once Rook has made up his mind, that's it. He will find out.
And so, with a sigh, you let him take the kill- that is, you tell him everything. Your whole, terrible week, the potion incident, the look on your lab partner's face...
When you're done, he's just. Smiling. "I see now. You are embarrassed,"
"Well... yes. You don't think that's embarrassing?"
He beams. "You are simply overflowing with beautiful emotion and passion for la vie! How could I ever find that embarrassing? You and I are not so different,"
In a weird way, that makes sense. Rook is never one to let shame hold him back from expressing his feelings.
He smiles at your pensive expression, and gives you a kiss on the head.
"Mais, next time you are upset, maybe you should come to me first, non?"
II. Clumsy
Forgetful, scatterbrained, oblivious, dimwitted are all words you've become used to hearing.
As well as a few colorful swears.
You have two left feet, even when you're not dancing- you're used to walking into walls, tripping, and dropping things- it just sucks that you have an audience now.
The first years that had gathered around the mess you made- tripping over your own feet and spilling the papers you were meant to deliver to Ace and Deuce all over the floor- are watching with grins and phones out.
You pretend they're not there, even with their taunts and whistles and laughter.
"Hey! Loitering is a waste of time!" someone barks. Literally.
You look up to see Jack moving through the crowd, scolding the other first years for blocking the hall.
When he sees you in the eye of the storm, on your hands and knees picking up your spilled papers, something upset takes his usually-stoic demeanor.
"What's the matter with you?!" he snarls at the boys. "Didn't anyone teach you any manners?! It's rude to stare- and laugh!"
His ears are flattened against his head when he kneels down beside you to help, collecting the papers, and putting them in your hands.
"Come on, we'll be late if you keep 'sittin there,"
Jack pulls you to your feet and gives one final snarl to the other first years before walking you off.
"...Thanks,"
"Eh? Don't mention it," he says. "Leona woulda had my tail if I just walked by..."
You know there's more to it than that, but you don't push. You're just happy he's forgotten to take his hand out of yours.
You can't handle being the center of attention.
For good reason, too- you're awkward, clumsy, and about the least graceful a person can get.
A true Ugly Duckling at a place like NRC. But Vil Schoenheit sees the swan in you. Perhaps that's why he's always been so patient and sweet.
It's a little distracting.
So much is obvious when he waves at you in the hall and, distracted by his smile, you walk right into a wall.
Though you can't see anything but stars after falling on your butt, the stares and snickers of everyone else are hard to miss.
Vil glares them away with a look that could kill twice over, and then stands over you as you lay on the floor.
"Come on," he says, holding out a hand. "I'll check you for concussion."
He brings you to Pomefiore and sits you down, shooing off a few curious underclassmen as he checks your pupils. "Do you feel nauseous?"
"Not really,"
"Then you'll be fine. Just a bump. You really should be more careful, though,"
You've heard that one before. Vil smiles at your dazed expression, and presses a cold compress against your head.
"This will help with the swelling,"
"Thanks," you mutter, still a little out of it. "You're my hero."
His eyebrows raise in true surprise, and then he chuckles. "And that makes you a damsel in distress?"
He doesn't give you a chance to respond before taking away the compress and kissing the red mark on your head.
"Don't think that being so cute is going to distract me. I'll make some time for lessons on poise this weekend,"
III. Unsociable
You'd think that being quiet and staying out of people's ways would get them to leave you alone, but it really just attracts more attention.
And after a grueling period of your tablemates making you the butt of every joke ("wow, I didn't know you could even talk!" "are you quiet because you hate us? come onnn, you can tell me!") you were ready to bury yourself alive.
"I don't ever want to leave," You mumble into the bundle of sheets and blankets on Idia's unmade bed.
"You could stay, y'know," Idia says from his desk, mindlessly scrolling through some gaming forum. "I should blackmail Crowley into letting you stay down here at least half the year."
"Couldn't it be the whole?"
"Nah. You need like, sunlight and stuff,"
"And you don't?!"
Idia snickers. "I'm built different. You know that. I get all my nutrients from blue light... You could at least stay for the weekend, though,"
You roll your eyes.
"...And I'll leak those normies' data. I'm sure I could get into their browser histories and have that emailed to their parents,"
Hm. You genuinely consider it for a moment, but eventually decide to give mercy. You're basically a saint.
"I think I just wanna pretend like I don't exist right now,"
Idia nods in understanding and pushes his gaming chair over to the edge of the bed, before crawling in and wrapping himself around you.
"That can be done. Pancakes tomorrow?"
Sure, there were people who talked to you, but you didn't talk back.
You just don't know how, you suppose. Every time you try, you end up saying the wrong thing, or are accidentally rude, or do something embarrassing.
You don't understand the references people make. You don't get social cues or hints. You have the social skills of an oyster.
Four months at Night Raven College, and you didn't have a single friend.
Well- except for him.
"How are you enjoying your tea?" Malleus asks, polite and curt as ever.
You take another sip- it's tangy, sweet, with a hint of bitterness. Some sort of Briar Valley blend that Malleus had imported just for you.
"I really like it,"
He smiles. "I'm pleased,"
One of the things you find so agreeable about Malleus is his simplicity. He often says exactly what he means; albeit, in a sort of 13th century Lord sort of way.
There's less stress with him. You don't have to pretend to be interesting, or outgoing, or cool. You can just be... you.
Because he likes you.
"You know," you say with a faint smile. "You're so nice to me. Sometimes I think that you're the only person I need. I could be happy with just you for the rest of my life."
You had meant that casually, but when you look back up from your cup, Malleus has this... look.
Wide-eyed, his lips pressed firmly together. There's even a dusting of color on his cheeks.
"Oh," you internally panic. Was that too much? Was that weird? Did you make things awkward again? Crap, you should have just acted normal, what's wrong with you?! "S-sorry, I-"
"Do you truly mean that?"
You go quiet, looking back at him with wide eyes. Your heart is pounding against your chest.
"...Yes,"
Malleus hums, his expression becoming more... pensive, and then...
He smiles. "I feel the same. Shall we go for a walk while the night is still young?"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#cater diamond x reader#rook hunt x reader#jack howl x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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Imagine Meeting Up With Ken After He's Moved Back To Japan
Ken Sato X FemReader
Rating: G
Warnings: Reader has a slight panic attack, touch of angst, fluff
Word Count: 1.9k
(A/N:) I have never watched Ultraman in my life and I never planned on it honestly. But dang I saw the trailer ad for Ultraman Rising and they barely give you a glimpse of Ken but it was enough. I watched it. I loved it. And now I'm obsessed with Ken Sato. End of story. I have lots in my drafts I want to write for him so keep an eye out! But until next time happy reading! ~Countess
The day that Ken Sato had moved out of your life had been the saddest one you could remember. Being kids, the adults didn't see it as such a big deal but between the two of you, it seemed like the world had ended. You both kept in touch but it still didn't make the distance seem any shorter. Years passed by and video calls turned into phone calls. Phone calls turned into missed calls. Missed calls turned into text messages and even then that didn't last long. As you grew older you let the thought of seeing Kenji again go and then the pain finally eased. You never felt that ache again, until you watched the news.
Super star player Ken Sato returns to his home country and that is the day your little world stopped spinning. Your phone rang off the hook as your friends tried to call you.
"Did you hear," your friend screamed making you grimace, "Kenji is back!"
"Yep," you sighed. "It's all over the news. Hard to ignore it."
"You don't sound excited! I thought he was your best friend when you were kids?!"
"He was, but that was a long time ago and now he's this superstar baseball player. Why would he remember me when he's made it so big?"
"Don't make that excuse, you need to go see him. You'll see that he'll be just as happy to see you as you are of him."
Despite your better judgement and a long sleepless night, you found yourself at the Giant's stadium. You had tried Ken's house only for him to be gone. And despite feeling like a stalker you tried both day and night. When that didn't work you tried looking at the restaurant you both loved as kids, no luck there either. You knew the stadium would be your best bet but you didn't want to get carted off for trespassing or embarrass Ken by your being there. Maybe you were using those as excuses. Or maybe you were terrified by the face that he probably wouldn't remember you or he'd laugh in your face that you came crawling back. Your heart slammed against your chest and your breathing turned into panicked gasps. This was impossible, you didn't know why you even bothered.
Reporters began to exit the building, pushing you along as you tried to calm yourself. The chatter of the group was too much for you at the moment. You stepped away towards a quieter part of the stadium, not noticing that you were entering in a restricted part for players and managers only. The quiet helped calm you and now you finally realized where you were at.
"Miss are you lost," a man wearing a security uniformed approached you and your panic starting to rear it's ugly head once more.
"I'm sorry I got lost," you eased back, clinging tightly to your bag's strap.
"It happens," he said politely. "May I escort you back to the main entrance?"
"Yes please."
You deflated as you followed the security guard. It didn't seem like you were ever going to see your best friend ever again. Your heart broke and you refused to let yourself cry until you got home. You almost made it back to the hall where you got lost in the flood of reporters when a voice calling your name had you freezing. He couldn't possibly know it was you? After all this time did he really remember you so well?
"Kenji?"
"I thought it was you," he grinned.
You sucked in a breath at the sight of the boy you once knew. You could tell he was handsome on the TV screen but you weren't prepared for the sight in real life. Even as a kid you had a crush on him, you just didn't realize it until later. Your mom thought it had been cute but now you just felt embarrassment. With longer sleek black hair and eyes that were so dark they sucked you in. You stopped breathing for a second when he finally stood in front of you. His eyebrow raised, he bent over waving a hand in your face. Lean and tall, it was no wonder he was an amazing athlete.
"Hello," Ken stared leaning over. "You still with me?"
"It's so good to see you," you stumbled stepping back at the proximity. "I didn't know you were coming back so soon."
He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. "It wasn't planned honestly. Losing mom and dad needing me."
You gasped grabbing his arm, "Kenji I'm so sorry."
You glanced to your hand and you quickly let him go, cheeks flushing brightly.
"It's okay," his smile wavered. "Have to grow up sometime."
"But," you started feeling horrible.
"It was good seeing you again," Ken replied turning away. Though this was the first time you'd seen him in so long, he still had that same way of showing his true emotions. The slightly hunched shoulders and it felt like all the warmth suddenly left the room.
"Kenji wait," you yelled.
He turned keeping his hands in his pockets. The sorrow in his eyes had you blinking back tears and you knew it was time to be brave. He remembered you and though he wasn't the same person when he left, he was still your friend. Yeah a little taller, a little more selfish, a lot of ego (you couldn't deny he earned the right), and a lot more handsome, but Kenji Sato all the same.
"Wanna go get something to eat? Our old haunt is still open and I would love to treat you. I've," you paused. "I've missed you a lot actually."
Though it didn't quite reach his eyes Ken smiled, nodding in agreement, "I'd like that. But I'm buying, no arguments."
"Fine Mr. Super Baseball Man."
He laughed, "You haven't changed at all."
That was a little disappointing. You were hoping he'd at least see how much you've grown, while he was away.
The restaurant was busy, a line forming outside but you both didn't mind waiting. Kenji hadn't eaten here in years and if you were honest, you hadn't either. You tried once after he left and though the food always tasted delicious, it wasn't the same without him. You both were ushered in a little bit after arriving and after all this time the owners remembered you both. Ordering the same thing as you both did all those years ago, it didn't take long for contentment to ease between you both. Ken's foot tapped beneath the table and you could tell he was struggling.
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," you spoke up. Not wanting him to feel like he had to do anything to make you comfortable. Though you still felt awkward, especially when fans made their way to him for pictures and autographs, you couldn't deny that it was still easy being around him.
"It's not that I don't want to," he groaned, now drumming his fingers on the table. "It's been forever. I should have so many things to tell you and I do! I just...I don't know where to begin."
"Start with baseball that seems to be going well," you grinned.
"Ha! You could say it is going decent," he nodded. "It was different in America, I'm curious to see how it's going to go being back home."
"I imagine so. Not going to lie though, home wasn't the same either when you left. It felt like I had to start all over, it was kind of terrifying."
"I'm sorry."
You touched his hand, "It's not your fault. We were both kids. Life changes, gets in the way, separates us from loved ones. We had no control over it, like we don't have much control over anything now. I'm glad you were able to find your way Kenji. I'm glad you made a life for yourself and I'm glad you got to follow your dream. I can tell how much baseball means to you."
Ken nodded a small smile pulling at his lips again, "It does. But I think this moment right here with you means more to me than baseball right now."
You flushed brightly. You weren't expecting a reply like that but it made you feel warm inside. You opened your mouth to reply, though unsure of what you could possibly say when your orders were set down before you. Saying thanks for the food and the chime of you both breaking chopsticks apart. Another peaceful silence stayed between you both as you both slurped noodles. True to his word Ken paid for the meal and you both left with full stomachs. Your heart felt lighter and you could have sworn you were walking on air. Glancing up at Ken, you caught him watching you intently.
"Something on your mind there Mr. Sato?"
Ken shook his head giving you a look like he'd tasted something bitter, "Please don't ever call me that again. Making me feel like my father over here."
You could tell things weren't good between Ken and his dad so you didn't pry. "Okay Kenji," you crooned making him shiver.
You didn't realize how you made him feel. When Ken saw you lost in the stadium, following that security guard his heart had skipped a beat. You two had always been close as children and even though you had stopped communicating for years, what he felt for you never waned. Having you here by his side, so close and yet still so far away, it felt like a dream. One he never wanted to wake from. With a soft touch, his fingers trailed down your arm leaving goosebumps in it's wake. You stared up at him, soft eyes taking in every bit of him. He never felt so naked or alive. He didn't stop until he found the back of your hand and still he slipped further, pointer stroking against your digits. Then he bit the bullet, taking your hand into his. He almost laughed at how much smaller your hand was compared to his, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. He squeezed tighter, careful not to hurt you in anyway. You stiffened at first, shocked at him being so bold. But you had to remember he was used to getting what he wanted.
"Would it be possible that we could do this again," he asked. "Maybe somewhere more formal?"
You nodded unable to speak. He kissed the back of your hand and you could have melted right then.
"I would like that very much Ken," your voice wobbled but you didn't let it keep you from speaking.
The answering smile had you in a puddle, the only thing keeping you upright was Kenji himself as you both started reminiscing. And now that some things had been brought out in the open, you both found yourselves talking a lot easier as the past few years passed by with every verbal exchange. You never felt so happy and all it took was for the game of baseball to bring back your best friend and you were ready to see what the future held in store.
#Ken Sato X Reader#Ken Sato / Reader#Kenji Sato X Reader#Kenji Sato / Reader#Ken Sato#Kenji Sato#Ultraman Rising#Ken Sato Imagine#Ultraman Rising Imagine#Imagine#Not My Gif#My Writing
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Man Flu
Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Reader
Summary: Jude Bellingham may be a world class athlete on the pitch, but when a little flu knocks him down, he transforms into the world’s biggest drama queen.
Word Count: 1.1K
Masterlist
Author’s note: I’ve been planning to write for Jude in a little bit, but I feel like a fun little fic about him would be a good idea now. The things right now are very confusing and overwhelming, so here is a little distraction for everyone. If you guys will like my writing about him, I have another Jude story coming soon, maybe a few more 🤭 Anyway, enjoy this one & let me know what you think 🫂💘
The sound of Jude’s violent coughs echoed through your shared bedroom. He had been up all night with a high fever, sore throat, and coughing so hard it sounded like his lungs were trying to escape his body. Snuggled into his blanket, he wore an utterly annoyed expression on his face.
You couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Jude rarely got sick, he was always so healthy and cautious, but on the rare occasion that he did, it broke your heart. You had been taking care of him all day: bringing him medications, cooking for him, making sure he stayed warm, hydrated, and well-rested.
It would’ve been much easier if Jude hadn’t turned his plain old flu into a near-death experience. Sure, he hated being sick and hated missing training even more, but it was clear he was enjoying the rare opportunity to lounge around in bed all day with you waiting on him hand and foot.
The chicken soup you made was getting cold while you were desperate for him to start eating.
“Why are you acting like a three year old?” you asked, your patience wearing thin.
“I’m not hungry, and even if I was, I’m too tired to move my hand or my mouth. And it’s cold too,” he said, sniffling dramatically.
“Jude, I can’t give you the medicine on an empty stomach. You have to eat something,” you insisted, exasperated. He shook his head, burrowing deeper into his blanket cocoon until only his eyes and nose were visible.
This man was the most trustworthy and strongest person in your life. You were certain that no matter what obstacle life threw at you, he would handle anything and be there to hold your hand through every challenge. He had proven that countless times. Despite everything he had been through, he remained a top player and an even better human being.
But you had no idea how on earth he managed to turn into a sappy little baby the moment an ounce of virus entered his system. It was like watching Superman crumble at the sight of a tiny piece of kryptonite. The same man who could face down a stadium full of roaring fans without flinching was now reduced to a blanket burrito, whining about soup temperature and acting as if a common cold was the end of the world.
“Jude, please baby, just eat.” You were practically begging now. He shook his head again, even more firmly. “I can’t. I really can’t.” He whined. You sighed in defeat, about to leave the bedroom.
“Unless…” His voice trailed off. You paused. “Unless what?”
“Unless… you could feed me?” He mumbled, avoiding eye contact. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head. Was he serious? This 6’1, strong, broad-shouldered athlete wanted you to spoon-feed him chicken soup?
“Are you for real right now?” His silence said everything. You stood there, dumbfounded for a solid seven seconds before realizing you had no other choice. He needed to take his medicine, and if spoon-feeding him was the only way, so be it.
Taking a seat next to him, he sat up with a huge, satisfied grin on his face, looking like a little boy about to devour his favorite treat.
“I can’t believe you,” you said, half-laughing, half-annoyed as you spooned the soup into his mouth.
“You really are a little baby, aren’t you?” You pinched his cheeks, and his smile faltered, replaced by an irritated look. “If I were you, I’d choose my words carefully. Considering how shitty I feel, this might be the very last conversation we have,” he said, his tone so serious you almost believed him.
You burst out laughing. “You have a sore throat, Jude. I think we’ll survive.” He shrugged dramatically. “You never know. I might not make it through the night.” His ridiculousness was getting out of hand.
After finishing the soup, he snuggled back into bed, looking very pleased with himself. “Was the soup good?” you asked.
“I couldn’t taste it, but I’m sure it was great. There’s nothing about you that doesn’t taste good,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes at his cheesy line, giving his nose a playful nudge. Even when sick, he couldn’t resist flirting.
Minutes later, you returned with his medicine and a glass of water.
“Do I have to?” he asked, grimacing at the pill in his palm.
You sighed. “Jude, do you want to get better or not?”
After a reluctant look at your raised eyebrow, he took the pill. The minuscule, almost nonexistent bitterness of the pill caused him to scrunch up his face as if he had just swallowed a lemon dipped in hot sauce. You couldn’t believe the level of drama this man could reach when he was sick.
Finally, when his face returned to normal, you climbed into bed beside him. He immediately rested his head on your chest, hugging you tightly.
Despite his theatrics, you couldn’t deny how adorable he was, especially when he craved your touch more than ever when he wasn’t feeling well.
As you stroked his head, he nuzzled into your neck. “Thank you, my love,” he whispered.
“For what?” you asked, confused.
“For taking care of me,” he said sweetly, melting your heart.
“Always,” you replied sincerely. No matter how sick or dramatic he got, you were always ready to take care of him, just as he was always there for you.
“Let’s just hope this isn’t my last day on earth. But if I do die in my sleep, at least I’ll die holding you.” You groaned loudly, rolling your eyes. “Oh my god, Jude. You are so ridiculous.”
He chuckled. “But I’m your ridiculous.” You couldn’t argue with that. Despite his dramatics, Jude was the sweetest, funniest, most endearing man you had ever known. The list of reasons you loved him was endless.
As his breathing steadied and he fell asleep in your arms, you smiled, stroking his head gently.
Just as you were about to drift off, a loud, intense cough startled you awake. You groaned again.
“Well, at least I’m still alive,” he muttered.
This guy will be the death of you.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude x reader#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham imagine#jude imagines#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x y/n#football imagine#football player x reader#football fic#imagine
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I never knew we could coexist together
Shadow x reader
Summary : shadow is surprised to learns that humans understand grief. And he learns it from the human that’s the most tolerable and happiest in his life.
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“Do you really think you could ever understand.”
His voice ragged and tight from the anger. There’s no way anyone could understand what he lost. Especially not you…
You have everything. A happy family, friends, a place in this world.
he had nothing…
Sure others may have accepted him, yet it has never been the same and it hasn’t ever taken the pain.
Someone as happy as you wouldn’t and shouldn’t ever understand his pain.
His grip getting tighter in his hand, he can feel himself shaking a bit as he lowers his eyes to the ground.
He feels bad for snapping at you. He wasn’t expecting to have all his pent up anger explode on you. Finally the shame starts crawling it’s way and he was getting ready to leave. He didn’t want to see your face.
Not right now, when he feels so angry with you even though you’re the only one thats stuck around.
All his emotions are spinning all over his head just waiting for another opportunity to explode, and he does not want you to be at the end of it.
Without saying anything else, he keeps his head down as he turns to leave.
But just as he’s a few steps away his are is pulled back quite forcefully towards you again.
“What do you think you’re doing—“
You hugged him.
Holding tight making sure you won’t let go of him. He tenses a bit not fully processing what you’re doing.
Why are still trying? Why do you still care even if he hurt you? He doesn’t deserve you.
Before he realizes it, he’s holding you close as well.
Nothing is said between either of you, he’s simply shaking a bit in your arms as you rub his back a bit.
Memories come back to him. Those of maria, his actions, and of you.
Small tears roll down his cheeks but he could care less at the moment. “It hurts.” His voice broken and tired from all the pain that never goes away.
You hugged him a bit tighter as you whisper a bit into his ears, “I know shads, i know.” Not daring to let go or abandon him in this moment, you wait it out. Feeling your own tears slowly dropping as well as his cries intensify.
He feels like he just got ran over, but at least you’re still there, holding him. Both of you more calmed down from the whole ordeal.
He finally decides to let go from your embrace and you let him.
He sits on the ground and you follow along and sit next to him. Just waiting to see who’ll be the first to speak.
Surprisingly after a few minutes shadow softly starts speaking, “i don’t want to talk about it.” His brows furrow a bit, “i appreciate your kindness, but I don’t like speaking about my pain.”
He feels you caress his hand. “That’s okay,” holding it firmly when turns it offering you to continue your action of affection, “i understand that pain can be hard to share.”
He turns to see you, eyes glazing over you face wondering what ever could have caused you pain to make that expression.
“You might be surprised but humans suffer from many things. Some of us are just a little better at pretending nothing’s wrong.”
“Doesn’t it hurt to do that?”
You look over, seeing his worry through his eyes. “Of course it does. Suffering is always painful.” Your eyes and hands never leaving one another. Sharing more emotions this way than any words could describe.
You lean a bit onto him, “but you know,” he reciprocates as you continue, “i think that’s a reason why there’s so many of us in the first place. Maybe so we could help each other through the pain… it’s too bad many seem forget the value of this”
He shifts a bit as he feels you move again. This time you’re kneeling a bit in front of him.
“That’s why I’m so glad that I at least have you in my life.”
His heart twinges a bit, feeling guilty for trying to ever push you away. And you notice it before he even says anything.
“Please don’t shut me out,” you’re hugging him again.
And he hugs you back, holding you softly as he feels your breath on his shoulder. Your actions and words melting all the doubt and numbing the pain. He’s comforted knowing that you’re not going nowhere, staying right there with him.
“Im glad that it’s you, and not anyone else at my side.”
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masterlist
#Aggggh i love this pair so much#Really wrote this from a random thought lol def not proof read#shadow x reader#sonic x reader#sonic fandom#shadow the ultimate lifeform#comfort#comfort fic#angst#fluff#sunshine x grumpy#sonic#sonic movie 3#shadow the hedgehog#sth x reader#year of shadow
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Twice One-Shot World chp. 3
Premium Sex Doll
Word Count: aprroximately 3k words
Momo x M Reader
You're a struggling young adult, you got a job that doesn't even suffice for your needs. One day a business man came to your house and offered you a deal that you can't say no to.
Includes: Rape role play
" Fuck my life, my work at the convenient store only pays me enough for my food and rent. I don't even have some extra money to have some fun, bro " you said on the phone.
" Man, maybe if you followed your mom to the States maybe your life would be better "
" Fuck her too, since my dad died she got a new partner and left me. Yes I decided not to go to the States with her because I don't like her having another man " you answered.
" Some luck will surely come for you, don't give up " your friend answered.
*knock knock knock
" Thanks bro, someone is at the door. So bye now "
You walked out of your bed and opened the door of your apartment. A man in a suit suddenly asked if he may come in. You're skeptical at first but what can he get from you if he robbed your house? Nothing, so you let him in and closed the door.
" Please sit down sir, I can only offer you water sorry " you said.
" Don't bother this talk will be short and you can't say no to this "
-The next day came-
*beep beep
A truck pulled over in front of your apartment and brought a big wooden box inside your apartment.
" here's your package sir, we just need you to sign up here "
You signed the paperwork and they left. You opened the box and you lifted a doll wearing white top and white shorts. The man yesterday offered you half a million dollars to try out their sex dolls. They are made with artificial materials similar to silicone but the texture is much more improved and it simulates human skin and flesh. Only 10 of these are contributed around the world. They examined their test runners carefully so that they will not be caught by the law, as their production is illegal. They prefer not so prominent people. But in exchange you have to give up your current job. You accepted and they gave you half the money straight to your bank before leaving.
" Hell, this doll is crazy beautiful. Do I really get to have sex with this? "
You opened the instructions, it said that it needed to be charged but it was delivered full of battery. It said that it has voice control you just need to say " Momo " before the command. The instructions said " Say, Momo, open to activate"
" Momo, Open " you said.
" Good morning master "
" Wwwwoooo " you shouted.
You were shocked that it said a word and also moved like a person towards you. The doll puts its arms on your shoulders.
" You can command me anything , master"
" Call me, Momo " she added.
" Momo, stand still "
Momo stood there and her arms returned to neutral. You're still shocked at this point, you pressed her shoulder and grabbed one of her boobs and it feels just like a real human. On this point you're aroused, you begin sniffing its shoulders and her scent is as sweet as a flower. It's been so long since you did this to a woman and it made you more excited.
You started kissing her neck while groping her ass and boobs. But something is missing.
" Momo, you can move now and moan for me " you commanded.
Momo hugged your neck and her other arm is caressing your face. She also closed the gap between her waist and yours to grind your bulge into her shorts.
" Ugh, master that feels so good "
" Call me Y/N " you said
"yess Y/N, does Momo taste good? "
" Yes Momo, you're so fucking good " you answered.
Her lips are so plump and cute that you decided to take a taste. You slammed your mouth into hers and sloppily kissed Momo. Momo does have some automated actions when taking part in sex activity. It is stated in the manual. She started caressing your bulge and she also kissed your neck. As she does so you removed your pants and underwear.
" Momo, suck my cock. Suck it good "
You lead her to the bedroom and you sit on the bed. She spits on your throbbing cock and licks it wildly before taking it all in her mouth.
" UGHH " you moaned as she does a fellatio on your hard long cock.
" Yes take it like a good girl "
" mmhgh, mmh, mmh " moans are escaping through her mouth.
She is looking at you all this time, and you started pounding her throat but she takes it like nothing.
*golk golk golk golk
You started to forget that she's a doll and thinks of her as a woman that you can fuck all you want.
" Fuck! What a slut taking it all like nothing "
Momo smiled as you dumped all your cum inside her throat. Momo stood up and sat on you as she kissed you deep.
" Ughh, can you go again Y/N? Momo need a rough fucking "
" Of course, but now call me baby "
" Yes baby " she answered.
You pushed her into the bed as you planted your tongue into her mouth. You made out and you began removing her top off, revealing a good set of tits with pink nipples. You sucked the hell out of the good pair and Momo hugged your neck.
" Yes baby suck my tits good, ugh "
You moved down and removed her shorts and underwear revealing a pinkish red slit.
" Fuck what a good food "
You fucking ate her pussy good, she wrapped her legs to your neck and held your head with her palm.
" Ughhh, babyyy you eat pussy so good "
" Suck my clitoris right there "
You sucked and played with it with your mouth and she began shaking violently. She squirted on your face as she shakes.
" UGHHHHH " she shouted.
" Sorry baby I ended up squirting on your face because you're so good at eating pussy"
You did not answer and you just inserted your dick inside her pussy. Momo can adjust her insides depending on the dick of the user, ensuring the best pleasure. You fucked her like a wild animal as you're too horny from her squirting on your face.
" Ughh baby, you'll make me cum again " she whined.
" Here's your reward for squirting at my face slut "
" Yes baby I'm your only slut, fuck this pussy harder ughh "
Her face is so seductive and it shows how good she feels. You felt more pleasure as her pussy adjusted on your dick. She started licking your nipples adding pleasure while you ram her.
" Baby fill me up with your cum, make a baby with me "
You forgot that she can also detect if the user is cumming so her pussy started to grip your dick harder.
" Fuckk here's my cum you slut " you pulled out your dick and you came into her face.
" Here's my revenge " you added.
She took the cum with her finger and licked it while looking at you.
" Ugh baby, I said you should fill me up but it's alright your cum tastes good "
" Oh I'm not done " you said.
You positioned her near the edge of the bed while in a supine position exposing her chest and toned abs.
" Momo, open your mouth and show me your tongue"
As she does so, you aligned your dick to her mouth and fucked her throat like there's no tomorrow. You grabbed both her tits as your leverage, you spit on her nipples and played with it with your finger. Momo reached down her pussy and started fingering.
"You're a naughty little slut, are you Momo? "
She responded with wild moans as you grope and played with her boobs while destroying her throat. She uses her 2 fingers to fuck her pussy with the other arm played with her clitoris. The scene made you wanna cum so bad.
" Here's my cum, take it Momo "
You grabbed her waist and planted your dick deep into her throat. Momo came again and this time she squirted into your bed. You grabbed her by the neck and pushed her head towards the wet part of the bed. Her ass is now exposed as her waist is bent down.
" Lick your piss you slut, taste it "
Momo started licking the bed sheets. As she makes out with the bed sheet passionately you inserted your dick again and started pumping inside her pussy.
" mmmmhhh ,mmhhh, " she moaned pleasurably as you pushed her more to the bed that muffled her cries.
You suddenly grabbed her hair and pulled it causing her to squeal. Your other hand grabbed her by the neck and choked her as hard as you could. Her moans are replaced by cries for aid to breath. Momo can't feel pain but she'll stimulate the effects of such inflicted pain on her. She tears and her tongue is exposed now. As you're finishing you let go of her neck causing her to lay her head flat on the we sheets and breath for air as you shoot your cum inside her. You looked at her as she is like a poor girl licking the bed sheets.
You finished by unloading the cum inside her tank and cleaning her. You cleaned your room and an idea came to your mind.
Her wardrobe included in her box has many types of dress and styles to pick. And it also has many hair styles included. You charged her for the rest of the day and woke her up at night.
" What, where am I and who are you? " Momo asked.
Before this happened you told her to dress up like a nerdy school girl that knows nothing about how he ended up inside your house. You always thought that your rape kink is weird but now you get to try it. You told her to fight back in the start and slowly be submissive as the time went by.
" Oh you suddenly went inside here and you're not going to get out " you said.
" Oh sorry, I'm heading out now " she answered.
You pulled her arm. Her scaredness is very evident as she is shaking and her voice.
" Sorry sorry, please let me out "
You threw her bag to the side and grabbed both her wrist, pushed her to the wall and started kissing her neck aggressively.
She started crying and struggled from your body weight as you push your body towards her.
" Please stopp, I need to go home now " her voice trembles.
You ignored her pleas and started groping her chest. Her arm attempted to push you back but you're just too overwhelming.
" Your chest is so big for a high schooler like you, don't you think? "
You palmed her mouth forcing her into a kiss. She hits you with her hands while your tongue slides inside her mouth and you start sucking her tongue out. Her hands stopped hitting your chest and it rests on your shoulders now. She unconsciously fought back with your mouth and tongue movements. Your fingers wiped off some of her tears as you're making out. The student's crying eyes shut down as her body gave in to your seduction. Her hands caress your body as you grope her breasts more . You gently move towards the bed pulling her and pushing her down to kneel at the floor. You dropped your shorts down and you placed her hand on your dick. Her cries became gazes of lust as she stroked your shaft. You held her face and moved it closer to your dick causing her to suck on it like a lollipop. Her blowjob is sloppy as she simulates a student who doesn't do such things. She is a modest student who just sucked a dick right now.
" Yes just suck it like that "
" mmhhh mhhh mh " her moans escapes out of her mouth.
You removed her glasses.
" Look at me " you asserted.
She looked at you with lustful eyes.
" Do you want me to fuck you? "
She shook her head signalling a " no " .
You slapped her hard into the face that caused her to shout and cry on the floor. You pulled her hair hard and she is begging you to stop.
" please stop, I gave you a blowjob already "
You pushed her into the bed face down and you removed her underwear. You don't want to remove her uniform as the visual contributes to your pleasure. You started fucking her from behind. Her back is arced and her arms pinched the bed so hard as you ram her back.
" Ughh please , I'm hurting " she pleaded .
" You don't have to pretend to be a little girl, you like this don't you? "
" Argghh, no ! " She answered.
" Then why did your ass follow my rhythm and start pumping as well? Look at your exposed tongue as you enjoys being raped "
" No I don't like it " she said while smiling seductively.
You switched position and you removed half of her buttons, revealing her bra and her shoulders. You fucked her missionary as moans came out both of your mouths. Momo plays her tits as you pound her and she accepted your follow wet kisses as you fuck each other.
" Is my cock that delicious ? "
" Yesss ugh, I mean no "
" You don't have to hide it anymore baby girl "
" No it's just that your cock is so huge that it makes me crazy " she said while holding your face with both her arms.
She pulled you into a deep kiss.
" Yesss I'm cumming, keep fucking my pussy like that please "
" I'm cumming inside you "
" YESS please fill my young pussy with your cum "
You came hard into her pussy and both of you moaned in unison. After a short break, you ordered her to suck your dick as you play video games. Before going to bed you charged her and ordered her to wake you up with kisses on your cheeks and a good ol' handjob.
This sex doll is now yours provided that you submit transparent and honest reports to the company each week. She's only programmed for sex activities if not so, you could have asked her to cook for you haha. She's indeed programmed well.
If you're the one that the company picked to be one of the product testers, what burglar things will you do to Momo?
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Steve grows up playing piano, absolutely hates it, but is so good at it. His parents aren’t around enough by the time he’s a teen to force him to his practices, so he slowly stops going.
His music teacher happens to be Robin’s mom, who studied at Juilliard, and traveled for nearly a decade with various orchestras and bands before settling down with her husband in Hawkins.
She can see what’s going on with Steve from day one, but knows better than to interfere.
Until he quits.
She can’t stand by and let someone so musically gifted give it up.
She shows up at his house with a violin, her own violin that she hadn’t used in years.
He’s hesitant at first, but decides to give it a try as long as she doesn’t tell his parents. The last thing he wants is for them to find out he picked up a new instrument.
She can’t give him official lessons, so she shows up to his house twice a week and hopes that he practices in his own time.
He’s a natural.
He takes to it like a duck to water.
She encourages him to perform in a local talent show, all kids under 18, most of them not half as talented as he is.
He only agrees when she says she’ll be front row.
And sure enough, for once in his life, someone shows up when they say they will. She’s sitting front row with her husband on one side and her daughter on the other. She smiles as he takes the stage, nervous about people who know him seeing him and reporting back to his parents.
He performs with heart, something he lacked with the piano. He performs with talent, something he may have with any instrument he picks up.
But most importantly, he plays with a smile. He’s having fun.
He sticks around to watch some of the other people performing: Tammy Thompson singing a very out of tune rendition of America The Beautiful, some kid from one of his classes playing piano miserably, and some band performing very loud, very angry music.
Steve wins, and for once, it feels better than when he wins at a swim meet or basketball game.
He spends the next three years secretly practicing, only performing in shows out of town, never saying anything to his parents.
He doesn’t want them to ruin this for him.
He applies to Juilliard, not thinking he has a chance in hell, not with his academic grades.
Luckily, they see that he’s “exceptional with the strings” and “plays with emotion that can’t be trained.”
He gets in.
He goes.
He thinks he may actually be able to do this, use a gift he has to make his life better.
His parents even find it acceptable, mostly because he got into the best school he could have. They still don’t bother showing up for his shows, but Mrs. Buckley always finds a way.
In his sophomore year, Robin gets in, and they both move into a small apartment off campus together. He promised to look out for her.
She tells him that music wasn’t really her passion, she was just good with a trumpet. She really wanted to be an engineer.
In his junior year, Robin transfers to Columbia, starts doing what she really wanted to do from the start. He’s proud of her, but misses having someone on campus during the day to have lunch with.
Until he stumbles, literally, into someone vaguely familiar.
“Sorry, man. Running late.”
Steve pats the man on the shoulder and turns to get to his class when the man stops him.
“Harrington? You’re a student here?”
He turns back and finally recognizes the man in front of him.
“Munson? When did you get here?”
“I got in this year. Kinda fucked up my first audition last year and they were kind enough to give me another shot.” Eddie smiled. “What on earth are you here for?”
“Violin. You?”
“Guitar and songwriting.”
“That’s great, man. I’m just really running late. Catch up soon?”
Soon was two weeks later, when Steve ran into Eddie again while leaving class.
“We should probably stop running into each other like this,” Eddie smirked. “The universe is trying to tell us something.”
“What’s it trying to tell us?”
“Not sure. Maybe we should go grab dinner and find out.”
“Now?”
“Why not? Got better plans?”
Steve thought about how Robin was barely at the apartment due to studying for midterms. He thought about how his only other friend from here was busy rehearsing for their senior showcase.
“Nah. Let me bring this home first,” he held up his violin case. “Actually.”
Steve was on a budget. His parents gave him money, sure, but they thought he was living on campus so the money they sent covered rent and groceries and nothing else.
“I could make dinner. If you want?”
“Steve Harrington cooks? And plays violin?” Eddie fake swooned. “Be still my beating heart. How will I not be seduced?”
Steve rolled his eyes. He remembered Eddie’s dramatics from school and knew better than to feed into them.
“I can make some spaghetti. Nothing fancy.”
“Spaghetti sounds great,” Eddie’s fake swoon turned to a soft smile. “You want some help?”
Steve didn’t need help, usually didn’t even want any.
But something about the way his stomach dipped when Eddie stepped closer, and the way he thought about having Eddie in his apartment, made him agree.
“Sure.”
They walked to Steve’s apartment in a comfortable silence, though Eddie kept tapping the back of his fingers against Steve’s hand.
Eddie fit next to Steve. They cooked together, they ate together, they even managed to clean up together. It was easy to find something to talk about. He’d never clicked with anyone like this, not even Robin.
By the time Robin came home, Steve and Eddie were both passed out on the couch, fingers laced together as if they hadn’t been brave enough to do anything more before they fell asleep.
By morning, Steve’s head was on Eddie’s shoulder, Eddie’s arm wrapped around him loosely.
Waking up to a soft kiss on his lips was something Steve couldn’t have imagined when he first ran into Eddie, but he was pretty glad it was how he started his day.
And almost every day after that, whether he woke up to a kiss, or met up with Eddie on campus for a kiss, he started his day with love on his lips.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#drabble#musician Steve Harrington#musician eddie munson#we love alternate meetings in this house#we’re gonna say it’s a modern au to make things simpler#just go with it
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•*¨*•.¸¸☆*・゚𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? ゚・*☆¸¸.•*¨*•
pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there more for u!
these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 1 - i see your future partner will see you as someone who has been through a hell of a lot, whatever u have overcome just makes them look at you as like this strong individual, someone who has suffered a lot probably at the hands of others too. they see you as an extremely fair individual, you don’t back down from a fight or challenge, whatever comes your way you still persevere and continue to move forward, it’s like u have been through so much strife but you’re still positive about life, the circumstances, like you try not to let that get to you, you’re an honest person, they see u as someone who’s fire is still there after all the weird conflicts you’ve gone through, you don’t let it break you down, still standing strong, but even though u may be very assertive and someone who seeks the truth, like a whistleblower, but u look so happy and vibrant on the outside like u kind of deceive people with that soft, warm, joyful exterior but if anyone tries you, they get like instant karma or just karma in general, like you’re not the one to fucking mess with, there is this passion within you that needs to be shown off, like letting yourself be seen.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 2 - your future person sees you as a bit naive but not in a bad way, there’s this innocence to you guys, you’re very okay like the lovebirds but then there’s sadness and a lot of fucking grief, maybe it’s coming from losing friends, family, lovers, pets, could be anything sentimental and close to your heart but they see u as so gifted and just as someone who doesn’t really break the rules, they see you as someone who may need some compassion in their life, like more support, i mean you’re extremely supported by the divine but u probably don’t feel that way in the 3D, like here physically IRL, do u not have many people that you can count on? like you have to do it all alone which you don’t and i’m sure your person will see this as well. there is so much good out there waiting for you, they’d want to see you and help u move on from whatever has happened that affected you so heavily, almost like u feel like you have no one on your side, but they’re there babe, it’s okay and completely harmless to obey and let yourself change for the better, for your highest good! they don’t want you holding onto this pain, i was very jokey about it earlier so maybe u guys can be the ones to brush it off but no, sitting with what happened and reflecting and not looking backwards at a past that you can’t change may help some. you’re worth so much more than whoever or whatever fucked u over, you deserve to be happy and feel happy and full of positive LOVING ENERGY! i feel like tapping back into spirit and becoming closer with the divine will help..easing the discomfort emotionally, you’re always loved and protected!
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 3- okay my p3s, it took me a minute to feel out your energy, idk i was just getting really frustrated and now im sweaty and i just took a shower, so im feeling like your future lover may see you as a “hothead” no, you just have a temper, it seems like you like things your way, like you’re not the one to let shit slide, you stand up for yourself, something about you is just very fast moving, like go go go go (cue the cringey ass carnival song 💀) okay so yeah you have a temper and can be quick to jump the gun and just fucking move people out of your way. i see they see you as someone who can’t stand when other people are just slow moving, like you need to be stimulated and engaged with whatever you’re doing, like you will keep doing something over and over until you reach your desired outcome. i like yall, u guys don’t play around, and that’s what it is, your fucking feisty ass, my pile that seems to embrace change whether you like it or not, it’s like it is what it is…i hope your person is strong as fuck and not just physically i mean mentally, you’re in your own fucking world, it’s like they may even have to ground you and bring u back down to earth to help u stabilize yourself, let yourself take a break from the fucking overachieving i don’t wanna say it like that but if you keep working yourself hard to the point of no return you’re gonna crash and i feel like u don’t mind bringing others in the mix, it’s like if i go down we all going down lmfao…just breathe, relax, take a minute to go outside and embrace your surroundings even if it’s shitty, there is always something around us that is so small but it puts a smile on your beautiful face. you don’t always have to keep your guards up and yes people may wanna try to come after you but just know you don’t have to do much to fend these weirdos off, they could never really reach ya level. your future lover sees all of this, you stand up for yourself and u show out too, like don’t fucking mess w me is y’all’s vibe, HAHAHAHA FUCK AROUND AND U GON DEF FIND OUT 💀
(this pile took such a turn lmao, it felt so chaotic ahhh, i hope u guys find some time to seriously just CHILL..no worrying about nothing just woosah baby, idk like whatever calms you down do it! rfn haha 😆ugh i wanted to write more but i promised myself to make the piles shorter, but pls lmk if u guys like longer more detailed ones or straight to the point, i mean either way it’s up to me but i wanna hear from you guys 🩵😚)
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 4- you guys are my leaders, even if you don’t see it this is all about ur future lover and how they see you, you seem to have a very strong head on your shoulders, you guys are so fucking courageous and extremely fast moving again similar to pile 3 but not quite, they’re like the energizer bunnies (i’m sorry to pile 3 that’s not a jab lmao) but you guys are more strategic, the other pile is more so spontaneous, okay if u feel called to it just go for it and head to that pile but you guys my lil babies hahaha, u may not like that, the lil cutesy names, but i mean underneath it all is just a sweet ball of sunshine, you guys like control and your future lover will automatically see it, it’s like you guys may not like to see things out of place, no matter what it is, like you need a schedule, you can’t just free ball it, you guys are like methodical and you’re not giving up without a fight, you’ve come so far and for some random ass weirdo to just come on in and try and undermine you is a very wrong chess move, you’re ten steps ahead bitch, i feel like you know more than you let on, like yes you may be cool calm and collected but oh do your words have people either checking themself or they’re in a corner crying from what you said, maybe u can be a little blunt with the way you interact with others, but i don’t think it’s coming from such a bad place, that’s just in your nature, you know how to tame your inner demons, the beast within, u can look at your own mess and take accountability, very honest straightforward, cut throat ass person, and your person is digging that shit, they like your dominance and how assertive you are, like the fucking boss, mommy/daddy/authoritative energy!
THANK U FOR FUCKING BEING HERE U AMAZING ASS QUEEN/KING/GOD/GODDESS !!!!
i appreciate you for stopping by and letting me read for you, i have been gone for some time but im back bitch and im here to fucking stay! idk if anyone else has been feeling this weird ass energy of people like not wanting you to succeed or see you doing well, i’ve been feeling that and a mix of my own pent up shit i need to deal with but i hope you liked this reading and if you don’t that’s literally fine babe, just don’t be an asshole about it, if it doesn’t resonate what??? LET IT GOOOOOO ! i have to say that!
these are extremely general readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!
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➽ 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓
☁ Pairing: Zhongli x gn!reader
☁ Category: Angst
☁Synopsis: He excludes you every time he's with her, and now he's living with the consequences of his actions, weighed down by their heavy toll.
☁ Note: It looks better in my head, lmao. I got back into writing after school ended. Still preparing for 12th grade, I'm scared. Good luck reading this. Let me know how it goes. 06/12/2024
Do you not see me?
You stood in the field of glaze lilies, the soft night breeze gently caressing your skin, a sense of isolation surrounded you. The silence was deafening, save for the voices of the divine beings before you, talking as if you were not there. It was as if they were lost in the charms of the evening, indifferent to your presence.
You knew that going with Morax was a foolish decision the moment you realized that the God of Dust, Guizhong, would also be there. You shouldn't have come, you shouldn't have gone. But your heart would not permit you to resist the urge to spend time with the man you've always loved, even though it may not have been the wisest course of action.
Despite the sinking feeling in your stomach, you couldn't let the chance of being with him slip through your fingers. Yet as the night wore on, a seed of doubt had started to take root within you, gnawing at your innermost thoughts. You now wish you had the foresight to realize that accompanying Morax wasn't the most commendable choice.
"Here," Guizhong, with a playful glint in her eye, reached down to pluck one of the glaze lilies dotting the ground, a sweet scent filling the evening air. With a sweet smile, she tucked the lily behind Morax's ear. "How nice it looks on you!" she exclaimed, her voice laced with amusement. Morax's eyes softened at Guizhong's sweet gesture as he smiled softly at her, an expression you'd never seen on his face before. It was clear that only Guizhong could bring that soft smile to Morax's stoic face.
You stood there watching them, a silent observer, as they talked to one another. Even what they're talking about is unknown to you, making you feel like nothing more than a passive object in the room. You bore witness to the way the man you loved gazes at her with yearning and adoration—a glance that you wish was aimed at you instead.
The sight was not one to behold, causing a deep and unrelenting pain to well up within the deepest reaches of your emotional being. It was a peculiar feeling that possessed you. It was as if a sense of resentment towards the goddess gradually seeped into your bones, permeating your very essence.
But how can you hate such an innocent god who has never actively done any harm? In particular to you? Nonetheless, deep down you can't help but wish she'd never come into his life. That he had chosen you instead of her, that it was you in his arms, the object of his desire. Yet you know it's a futile dream, for you two are incompatible, you are the god of war while he is the god of contracts, forever parted by the gulf between your natures.
Guizhong, being the epitome of refinement and grace, captivates all who lay eyes on her. Unlike you, the deity of battles, Guizhong was a wise, compassionate, and intelligent god who never harmed a single soul. Conversely, you nevertheless bore the scars of battle on your body. Your skin stained with blood from countless battles. You see why Morax is so captivated by her—she was everything that you weren't.
"Oh, I think it's best I leave for now. Perhaps we can meet another time?" You force the words past your lips, your voice a mixture of hurt and disappointment. You hug your arms tightly to your chest, waiting for a response from either the two of them, only to realize that they don't seem to care about your presence. They're too caught up in their own world, and you're not a part of it. Maybe it's best to leave them be.
That night marked the end of your presence in their lives. It was then that you knew that it was time to move on. You couldn't change the way things were, nor could you force Morax to love you. As difficult as it was, you had to accept that your relationship with him was not meant to be. So, with a heavy heart, you decided to leave, choosing to cut all ties and put the past behind you. It was the only way to find peace and move forward.
-
In a tragic turn of events, the Archon War raged on with no end in sight. The God of Dust lost her life in a fierce battle over the Guili Plains and perished amidst the Glaze Lilies, leaving behind a sea of sorrow in her wake, particularly for Morax. Imagine his grief when he lost her too. He should have known the impending doom that was about to happen, and maybe, just maybe, he would have saved her too. Everything was a massacre.
Despite the passing years, he never ceased his search for you, holding a faint glimmer of hope that you were still alive. Despite giving up his gnosis, his rulership, and the weight of responsibility that he's borne for millennia, his determination to find you remains steadfast. It's as if he's incapable of letting go of the notion that you're still out there, somewhere, waiting to be discovered. Perhaps the gnosis is now in the hands of the Fatui and has become their possession. He continues to look for you without ceasing.
Despite the selfish intentions behind his actions, he continued to search for you over and over again. He knew that he was to blame for your departure, as his behavior had led you to leave his life forever. Nevertheless, he persisted in trying to find you, driven by the guilt and regret that had filled his heart. He struggled to come to terms with the consequences of his actions, and the sadness that weighed upon him only continued to grow. All he could do was hope that somehow, someway, he could make amends.
But...
Would he ever see you again?
☁ Note: Zhongli, you selfish man, jkjk, I love you. No hate towards Guizhong! I love her so much. She's so cute. Who do you think is at fault here? Of course, me! for creating this.
#angst#genshin impact#zhongli#zhongli x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#morax x reader#guizhong#zhongli x reader angst#morax x reader angst#genshin x reader angst#genshin impact x reader angst#guizhong angst#no comfort
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RECOVERY
I spent a lot of my life depressed without admitting it to myself and then i spent a year so depressed i could hardly make myself do the bare minimum to keep my body alive, and now it's about 3 years since i got up from that lowest point and while i am still struggling with myself things are objectively a lot better.
and i just want to put a couple things i've learned, both to remind myself of how far i've come, and in case any of what i've experienced helps anyone else.
You can't run from the darkness
When you're super depressed it's easy to focus on how much you don't want to be depressed. When everything is darkness you tend to wish you could escape that darkness.
but you can't. The darkness is all around you. You can't run away from it without running deeper into it.
instead, follow the light.
don't think of it as escaping depression, think of it as seeking joy. Don't run away from the darkness, walk toward any lights you can see.
At first it will be very small things. The taste of a food. The way your favorite color looks. A smell you like. For me one of the first things i could find to remind me of joy was the way a warm shower feels.
I would just stand in the shower and lean into the tiny, tiny joy of that feeling. I would describe it to myself, how it felt good, what about it felt good. It didn't cure me, it didn't make me less depressed, but it was a little point of joy to focus on, to breathe into like a tiny candle flame in my darkness.
I would memorize that feeling, so that later, when i felt like nothing ever brought me joy anymore, i could think, no, that's your depression lying to you, you felt joy, however small, right there in the shower just yesterday. And, maybe there is more somewhere else.
Even today, it's been a hard week, i'm feeling a lot of hopeless and helpless feelings clamoring away at me, but... i have spicy soup. And spicy soup is a NEW joy. I found spicy soup joy as i was following any little light i could out of the deepest part of my depression.
I never put hot sauce in soup before then. But today i am drinking the broth of a very spicy soup and as much as everything else is complicated and difficult and scary and dark, there is a bright mote of joy in this sip of spicy soup. And in the next one. And the next. I enjoy it, i love it, all the more that it is new, and if i had given up four years ago, i never would have known this small joy, this new favorite tiny thing.
Who knows what other little joys i may find?
If you have come to a place in life where you have lost the knowledge of how to feel joy, it is important to remember that feeling joy is like anything else in life. The more you practice, the better you get, the more of it you can do at higher levels.
And there are only so many minutes in the day. The more of them you spend acknowledging what feels good, the less of them will be left for feeling bad.
you can't escape the darkness by fleeing from it, but you can find the light by moving toward it.
Chop Wood Fetch Water
Another thing i learned was a truth about the exercise advice you always hear.
For where i am in my recovery now, common exercise has very little impact. I don't really get the endorphins people talk about, and i don't tend to feel better about myself after i work out unless i already feel pretty okay about myself to begin with. i don't mean to say there is no point in me exercising, but, i walk about ten miles a day holding onto 8 energetic dogs and i do a fair amount of lifting and bending and stuff for my job, and it's fine but it's not, like, doing a whole lot for me at this point in my recovery (tho i do think more recreational exercise will come back into play a stage or two on in my healing process)
HOWEVER
There was a year there where i was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. When i was only able to force myself to eat just enough each day to stay alive because i'd made a promise to myself, and that promise was almost all i had left.
and the right kind of exercise is what pulled me out of that.
the RIGHT kind.
See, someone close to me needed help with a physical job. That was an important part and why this method is known historically as some variation of Chop Wood Carry Water -- it's intensely physical, which is important, but also, it helps the people around you. These days our personal communities tend to not need wood copped and water carried the same way. But you can get the same effect helping someone move all their furniture, doing all the yard work for your friends and/or family, volunteering for a charity that builds housing for homeless people, SOMEthing physically taxing that helps people.
In my case, my aging father needed help re-shingling the roof. So i promised i'd help.
So i got up every morning because he was expecting me. And i climbed the ladder because he would see me if i didn't. And i lifted and carried and hammered and worked hard. It took a week of six to eight hour days.
Right away, the fact that it was helping someone else made it not matter so much that it didn't feel like it was helping me at first. I couldn't deny that i was doing something good, that my existence had positive meaning, however small.
But very soon, it changed something fundamental in my state of depression. You can't do physical labor in the sun 7 hours a day without drinking a bunch of water. Without working up an appetite. Without getting very tired at the end of the day.
See, i had been struggling to make myself drink enough water, i was fighting to make myself eat even one small meal's worth of food each day, and i couldn't get a good night's sleep to save my life. And these things all made my depression much much worse. You think you get sad or angry from skipping a meal, consider being chronically undernourished. You think your mental state is worse after pulling an all nighter, think about what never getting a good night's sleep does.
But a couple days into this job with my father, and suddenly i was hydrated, i was eating full meals, and i was sleeping soundly at night.
THAT is what pulled me out of that deepest part of my depression.
So in a way, it was exercise that saved me. But not how people often say "have you tried exercising?" More like pushing myself physically to the point that my body demanded the things that previously i couldn't get it to want for itself.
Instead of forcing myself to eat i was craving food. Instead of staying up to all hours and then tossing and turning, i was physically exhausted and slept early and hard. (and, weirdly, being physically exhausted was somehow a relief from being emotionally/mentally exhausted)
Lastly
Healing often isn't noticeable while you're doing it
"healing is a process" is something you hear a lot, but i think it's more helpful to say something like
"Healing is like growing your hair out from short to long. You can look in the mirror every day and not notice it happening. And even when you can tell for sure it's longer than it was, you still can't really do anything with it, and it may seem pointless. But then one day you can tie it back in a ponytail and you realize how much it's grown and how many options are open to you now and you're really glad you stuck with it"
Now excuse me while i go meditate on the joys of my remaining spicy soup.
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gentleman
Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader
summary - after the events of Alabasta, everyone is unwinding in the different gendered baths. while the other men are quick to look over the wall, your boyfriend is much more respectful. until he gets to be alone with you in that bath, that is...
warnings - none, maybe slightly suggestive at the end but mostly fluff, may be errors since I'm writing this with a sprained wrist and my hand is not moving like it should
a/n: just a short fluffy drabble since i'm stunned that i have way too many angsty Zoro fics. also, this gif-
You barely turned around when you heard Nami yelling at the boys for trying to peek at her, Vivi and you. You just turned your head slightly, an amused smile on your lips as your body relaxed into the warm water, soothing your sore and aching muscles.
"Honestly! Zoro is the only one with any decency!"
You laughed at that, and then again when you heard groaning coming from the other side of the wall. It seemed they had all gotten a shock from her outburst and fell, which was well-deserved. Nami settled back into the bath with you and Vivi, grumbling about how annoying they were and threatening to hit all of them when you got back to the Going Merry. You and Vivi giggled, before resuming your conversation.
Much later, you were still soaking yourself in the water even though Nami and Vivi had long since left to go change. You wanted to stay a bit longer, enjoying the quiet. But seconds later, you suddenly felt arms around your waist, pulling you to a strong, hard chest. You smiled, not bothering to open your eyes.
"You were waiting for this, hmm?"
"Baths are always better with you," the swordsman mumbled into your neck, his touch sending pleasurable tingles down your spine.
"Nice to know you didn't look at the other girls while they were bathing," you teased him. "What a gentleman."
A soft kiss landed on your bare shoulder, "I'm not like that pervy cook. Or the rest of those perverts. Besides, I have no interest in seeing anyone but you naked."
His words made you shiver, and a blush crept onto your cheeks, "That-I-" You didn't know what to say, flustered beyond words.
He chuckled, gently grabbing your chin to turn your head so you could look at him, "My eyes are only ever on you." He enjoyed seeing you like this, he enjoyed watching you blush and stutter at his words, knowing only he could do this to you. "But I'm surprised Chopper tried to look."
"Sanji probably encouraged him," you giggled, leaning back against your boyfriend. He was right, the bath was so much better with him in it. His arms tightened around your waist again, and you hummed in satisfaction.
"I'm going to kill that stupid cook for looking at you like this," Zoro grumbled, annoyed that they had the nerve to try and see you bare - something only reserved for him.
You laughed and kissed his cheek, "I won't stop you. That was annoying."
He grinned devilishly, "Permission to hurt him? You must be in a good mood today."
"Well..." You shifted so you were now straddling him in the water, arms around his neck as you leaned in close. "I do feel very relaxed, but my mood is much improved thanks to you."
He smiled, and moved forward to connect your lips. Unlike your usual rushed, brief pecks during the heat of a battle or before one, this kiss was deep, slow, and long. He took his time to kiss you, hands gently massaging your waist, before he brought one of them up to rest on your cheek. This was a side of him rarely seen, because of the constant danger that you were always in, so you enjoyed these few and far between moments. He kissed you reverently, like this affectionate gesture was an act of worship, and to him it was. Because to him, you were a goddess. One that he would happily spend the rest of his life devoting his time and attention to.
"I love you."
His whispered confession caused butterflies to bloom in your gut, and a shy but loving smile to grace your lips. You trailed gentle and featherlight kisses along his shoulder, letting him relax and tilt his head back with closed eyes.
"I love you too."
Moments like these allowed Zoro to be truly vulnerable, something you both appreciated. You were happy that he felt safe enough with you to be vulnerable, to expose his deepest feelings and to just be him. Because he was always acting as the crew's valiant protector, a feat that honoured him but also left no space for him to care for himself. Until you came along.
"You're so beautiful."
You hadn't realised he'd opened his eyes again until you looked up from his shoulder and saw him staring at you. Love, admiration and awe filled his eyes, and a deep blush settled on your cheeks.
"I could say the same to you."
He hummed, but dismissed your comment, "I mean it. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Sometimes I think I'm dreaming." His hand returned to your cheek, this time to gently caress it.
You smiled, and leaned in to kiss him again, "Does this feel like a dream?"
He smiled against your lips, "No. Which only means I died and went to heaven."
You laughed, "I thought you didn't believe in that."
"Meeting you changed my mind."
Your heart thundered in your chest, your brain malfunctioning at such sweet words. You were left speechless, and he noticed, making him smirk cockily.
"Now who's making who speechless?"
"Still me making you speechless," you smiled mischievously, trailing your hands up his thick thighs. His breath hitched, and he let out a strangled half-gasp, half-moan when you reached exactly where he wanted you.
"Fuck."
"That's what I intend to do to you."
#one piece#op#zoro x reader#zoro x you#roronoa zoro#one piece x reader#one piece x you#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x you
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Coke and disappointment: Jason Todd x reader
Warnings: SMUT MDNI!, friends to lovers, bad date on reader's part
Summary: when a date goes wrong, who's better to talk to if not a best friend. Even if that best friend happens to secretly have feelings for you and the complaining may actually push him over the edge...
A/N: sorry for the typos and mistakes, no time to proofread :D I'll fix it later :D
***
He was a fool.
A stupid, idiotic fucker who was too stubborn to speak up.
Too scared to tell the girl he liked that he liked her.
And now he was about to lose her.
Jason let out a shaky exhale, feeling his heart shutter at the thought she was about to move on with her life and leave him alone. Again. And then he punched the wall in a poor attempt at transforming that sadness into rage.
Rage was easier and he knew how to navigate it.
He took in the surroundings of his apartment, a little cluttered and shabby, but still it was the place he called his. Just last night she was casually lunging on his couch, texting on her phone with that stupid smile that always made his heart melt.
She was texting him. That other guy who obviously did not deserve her. HE could have been the prince charming himself, be a gentleman with the look, but in Jason’s opinion he did not deserve her.
She was so close on that stupid couch.
So close.
All he had to do was take one step forward, take the phone from her hands and fucking tell her how he felt.
And then she jumped in the air, laughing and spinning around, proudly announcing she had a date.
And suddenly she was not so close anymore. Almost like those three words made a mountain grow between them.
A mountain, a sea, a valley and a desert.
His words died in his throat and he just smirked, throwing his usual meaningly funny comment and shut his heart once more.
And now he was spread on the same couch she was yesterday, with a bottle of beer in his hand, thinking stupid thoughts.
***
“Are you drinking without me?” the door swung open and Y/n walked inside like she owned the place, almost immediately heading towards the fridge and grabbing herself a bottle of cola zero.
“The hell Y/N? The hell you’re doing here?!”
“Can’t I just pop in at my friend’s place?” she raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her drink.
“Oh, no, you know what, by all means come in at any time. What if I was with someone?” Jason hissed in response, moving on the couch to make space for her.
“Well then, if so, you should remember to close the door. As much as I wouldn’t mind the show, I’m pretty sure the girl you’ll be taking advantage of would not be delighted with an onlooker.”
“You’re disgusting Y/N.” Jason sighed with a hint of a smirk.
“But I’m not wrong, am I?” she grinned and poked his ribs playfully.
“No. No you are not.”
“Yeah…”
That yeah coming from her was supposed to be said in a funny tone, but came out a little desperate, the silence that fell after only added to that sensation.
“Hey Y/n/n?”
“Hm?”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“About what?”
“You know what.” Jason frowned and cupped her chin making her look at him
“That little failure of something that I already romanticized in my head before?”
“Yeah. About that.”
“Actually, yes, let’s talk about it. Maybe you can tell me what is wrong with today’s men.”
“Oh, shit talking the fucker that clearly made you upset. I’m game.” Jason stood up gathering another beer and coke from the fridge, getting ready for the long conversation. “Do tell.” With the force he jumped back on the couch, Y/N flew a few inches in the air.
“He came late.” She started and Jason booed “he was dressed as if it was a beach or something. And then he took me to the park—”
“Hopefully those punches and moves I taught you helped?”
“Right, cause we were fighting squirrels.” Y/N rolled her eyes “come on, be serious, it was the middle of the day in a public place. Using those punches will only make me get attention to myself. I settled on the good old kick in the groin.
Jason laughed. It was obvious the meeting did not go well.
“He was only talking about himself. Like all the time. Never once asking a thing about me.”
“You could have started talking yourself. I’m pretty sure the fucker had to make breaks for breathing?”
“Actually, I’m starting to believe he’s that one parasite that scientists discovered and that does not.”
“A parasite huh?”
“Pretty much so.”
“So, he took you to the café?”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“Nope.”
“Wait, you’re serious!?” Jason turned abruptly to meet her eyes. “So the hell were you two doing?”
“Walking in the park?” Y/N raised an eyebrow “just told you?”
“For two hours?! How big was this fucking park?”
“Well….” Her gaze traveled lower and she started fidgeting with her fingers.
“What else?”
“Nothing.”
“What else, Y/N?” Jason almost groaned in frustration.
“At some point we took a turn and had to literally bush-bash.”
“No!” much to her surprise Jason started guffawing
“Hey, stop laughing! It was not funny! I had a dress!”
“Oh, poor little you.” He cackled even harder. “You don’t really want my opinion on that so-called “date” do you?”
“Of course not. I’m not exactly blind to red flags. I just wanted to vent.”
“You can be blind to red flags sometimes.” Jason muttered, quickly drowning the words with the sip of a drink.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You’re spending time with me, instead with one of your girlfriends.”
“I don’t have girlfriends and your red flags are the reason why you are my friend and why there would never be anything else.”
Ouch. That was like a punch to the guts.
“What if there was?” he blurted without thinking, only because the bottle turned out empty and he couldn’t swallow the bile.
“What--?” with a broken word and the way her eyes focused on his face, Jason knew there was no going back. It was now or never.
“What if there was Y/N? What if there was something more…?” with a gentle touch he grabbed her coke and put it on the nearby table, instead intertwining their fingers. “What if—”
“Jason, don’t—”
“Don’t tell me to stay in the shadows while you keep dating men that can’t even take you for coffee!” he yelled and it made her stumble backwards, letting go of his hands. “Fuck! Why can’t you see it?!
“See what…?”
“You deserve –” he started, but she cut him off.
“No. No, don’t you dare tell me that I deserve someone better. I don’t really see men lining up for me” Y/N chuckled dryly “I’m not a teen anymore, soon my expiration date will come and –“
“Shut up!” he hissed, in a blink of an eye finding himself on the other side of the couch, his eyes boring a hole into her face, his hands aching to do so many things… “You deserve more than a mindless stroll in the park, not that the walk itself is a bad thing. You deserve to be spoiled and –“
“Please don’t…”
“If anything more, you at least deserve a good orgasm.” He groaned, unable to control himself anymore, eyes filled with lust and unspoken promises of pleasure.
She was so close. Once again. Only now, he wasn’t going to cross the line. It was her choice. If she wanted to walk out and close the door on him – fine. This would hurt like hell, but eventually Jason would get over it.
But it was her choice and there was no way he would take advantage of her.
As if making her hot and bothered with the look in his eyes, the closeness and the heat from his presence and words was not taking advantage.
***
Y/N was lost only for a second.
It’s been so long since she’s been touched. So long since she felt anyone in that way. And her body needed it.
God knows she needed it.
And she had no power to swim against the tide, grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him.
***
Jason reacted instinctively.
His strong hands moved to her waist, pulling her on top of him, starting to grind against her, even through their clothes.
He was going to make her feel so good.
So fucking good, taking her to the places she’s never been before.
Only for her. Just for her.
Her.
Now not only in his thoughts and crazy fantasies, but in flesh and bone in his arms, on his couch, pliant and needy for attention.
“Jason….” His lips moved from her lips to her neck, brushing over her pulse point.
“Jason…” his hands rolled her dress up until it was on her waist.
“Jason…” the word became hoarse and breathy when he lifted her up so she was now straddling him.
And he was only just beginning.
Teasing her with one finger, pulling her panties away, feeling the wetness already seeping on his jeans. She was so ready for him just from a few touches. How touch starved and neglected she must have been if just a little foreplay was enough?
“You’re mine tonight…” he groaned into her ear. “Mine. Say it Y/N…”
“Yours…” she whimpered, shuddering at the way his index finger inched closer to her heat.
“Yeah. Mine.” For Jason it felt just right to call her his.
“Please….”
“Not yet baby.”
“Don’t be mean… You promised me—”
“A good time. And that’s exactly what you’ll get. But not like that.”
“Then what—Ah!”
Her cry of surprise tore the air as he grabbed her by the waist, lifted her in the air and carried towards the bedroom, miraculously avoiding all the stuff on the floor. Once in the room, with one hand around her, he threw the cover alongside every little thing on it onto the floor, making quite a noise. But what was a little background mess in comparison to the passion they were both experiencing right now.
They were clearly not friends now, but it was not important.
All the labels, unanswered questions and doubts left their heads as fast as their clothes started flying in all the directions. Bra on the lamp, boxers on the bedpost, shirt on the floor, a mess of clothes in the foot of the bed.
They didn’t care.
All that mattered at that moment was his lips on hers, her hands in his hair, the way his fingers kept pumping in and out of her prepping her for what was coming and the smell of her arousal in the air.
And those moans of pleasure that hit his ear made him hard enough to drill through the concrete.
“So wet…” he muttered
“So good!” she cried out arching her back, turning into a wanton, a bitch, not caring in the slightest about losing control. It felt good to just let go.
“Yeah?” he breathed out pulling fingers out of her, now coated with her juices. “Good?” Jason made sure to trace them up her body, spreading wetness on her stomach, her breasts with those deliciously pert nipples just begging to be abused and finally on her mouth. As if knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from licking those plump red lips in a motion that was both innocent and obscene. “I'll show you good…”
With a groan, almost losing control, he spread her legs, hovering over her, leaning so close that his breath was hitting her face and his chest pressed against her breasts creating unbearable friction.
“Jason… Jason, please…” she squirmed, arched, begged and pleaded.
“I’ll give you everything you need…” he promised, leaning on forearms, slowly pushing inside her, mindful of every expression on her face. Only upon making sure she was feeling the pleasure and not the pain, his eyes moved lower, watching his cock disappear in her.
The dirty look that once again shuttered the fundamentals of his self-control.
“More!” she cried out, closing eyes, grabbing his shoulders, earning a groan from him.
“Fuckin more!”
There was no interim between bottoming out and adjusting to his size and frenzied pace of lovemaking. They just went from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye.
He was gripping the headrest, too scared to touch her body In fear he’ll break her from the force. His forearms were straining from the power in those strong arms and Y/N knew he could snap her like a branch. Instead, somewhere deep inside that lust filled brain, he was still focused on her well being and safety.
Not that she could say the same about the way his cock was thrusting. Pulling in and out of her like she was made out of a rubber, shaping her to his girth, making sure to leave the memories of that night not only in her brain but also gouging the flutes on her pussy. For she was his.
Crying out his name
Touching him.
Letting him feel that tight wetness groping him like a vice.
So fucking tight only proving the point that she didn’t get nearly enough sex as she deserved.
“Tell me-“ he gasped, leaning his forehead on hers with sweaty hair clinging to it “How many times before you’ve came-“
“I – I don’t – I can’t-„ she cried out when he lifted her hips, changing the angle hitting deeper, harder, more intensely, effectively silencing all the thoughts. All she could focus on then was matching his pace, keeping that delicious stretch going, igniting the friction, running hands all over his back, holding him tight enough to not fly out into space right away.
“Tell me baby. I need you to say it.” He muttered between ragged breath, feeling his own release knocking at the door more and more stridently.
“Ne- never!” she cried out “Please!”
“Cum for me sweetheart.” He whispered in her ear with the silent promise of catching her and keeping her safe.
And he knew she believed him when her sobs, cries and gasps of climax filled the room, completing the scent of sex with the sound of pleasure.
Perfection incarnated in the form of a sin.
***
“Go on a date with me…”
Once they both came out from their high, laying side by side in the bed-
Once he dared to let out that soft side of his feelings, tracing circles on her sensitive body –
Once the arousal and horniness was gone-
There was no regret. No oh-my-god-what-have-we-done moment.
In fact, in some crazy way, it all seemed natural. Like both Jason and Y/N knew that it was bound to happen and their sex was not an accident or a mistake.
But a date?
“I’m serious, Y/N. Go on a date with me.”
“You don’t owe me—”
“It’s not about owing, baby. I want it. To be able to hold your hand in public, to beat to pulp every single guy that comes too close to you. To kiss you under the moonlight. To walk you home after and come upstairs just to cuddle on the couch together.”
“You sure?” she teased, laying her upper body on top of his, looking into his eyes with a happy smile “that would ruin your reputation as a cold and heartless motherfucker.”
"Some people are worth sacrificing like that…”
“Must be someone special.” Y/N whispered, her heart fluttering at the sensitivity Jason was expressing now.
“She is. A one in the million.” He tangled fingers in her hair, unable to tear his eyes from her naked form next to him.
The happiest fucker in the universe.
And to think she came to his place only to have a coke and complain about a bad date.
Coke and disappointment turning into a chance at a relationship.
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd smut#red hood smut#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd x y/n#red hood x y/n
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