#so that may be getting a post

[sandwhich-lady]

The time has finally come. Over all four years of my high school career I made a running list of quotes from high school and I vowed to post it when I graduated. And well, the time has come. So without further ado I present

Things High Schoolers Have Said: A Saga

Freshman year:

*while talking to a teacher* "this just proves short people are a menace to society"

"If we were comparing to spices, you *points at teacher* would be a ghost pepper and you *points at friend* would be ketchup"

Someone walking by: "like oh, hell is real"

"No dont trust me"

"You need to eat food bitch"

*talking about people hating pineapple on pizza* "I hope you had a satisfactory life because Imma end it"

"The eyesore of a church the sky daddy punished me with"

"Frankly, I dont know if I've been alive for 200 days"

"Are you eating a fucking egg with pineapple"

"They're like oh highschool is preparing you for college and then you get to college and your professor shows up in a t-shirt and shorts and with a jug of sprite"

"I had a very strong urge to eat my math homework" -me

"Honestly at this rate, why dont you trust me?"

"Because I still have some hope yet"

*laughs* " wow I dont know how to crush that"

"...There are cursive numbers??"

Sophomore year:

"Dont do anything you wont regret"

"I dont have the energy to bounce, Amy"

"I'm gonna quit band so I can work on actually not killing myself"

"I have the mentality of a 12 year old who just discovered sex"

"YOU GOTTA FLOWWW"

"LET ME ABSORB THE POTATO"

"You are so white. You are *so* white oh my god the the double l in El Pollo Loco not pronounced like a hard l! It's a yo sound"

"Apparently the bugs are really horny today"

"Wait where are you going?"

"I've been traumatized enough"

*stares at smushed sandwhich like questioning the audacity*

*yelled* "You're a loser! Talk to me when you're over five feet tall!"

"Crying, shaking, throwing up. Violently shaking."

"Ah! My lightsaber is stuck" -my euro teacher

"I cant wear crocs, I'm a 6'3" white guy"

"Kangaroos are like standing rabbits"

*picking victims for a murder mystery game*

"Mr [teacher's]...wife"

"Leave her out of this!"

"Is joe biden your phone lock screen?"

*offended* "no its pitbull"

"I almost punched a freshman yesterday"

"How much would you sell your soul for?"

"Panera bread mac n cheese"

"What's the point of fanfiction if it doesnt have sex in it?"

"Nah hes 32, not years old, cause that would be pedophilia"

"You shower naked??"

"I really want to annihilate an uncut loaf of bread"

"However, I think the disco ball constitutes sexy time"

"Sometimes, we all have to get married, and polygamy can be a byproduct of that, for the good of all humanity"

"I'd rather be gay than [be around] drunk men"

"Do you think I could fuck the liberty bell?"

"If you wear those fucking shoes to prom, I will curb stomp you and leave you in the McDonalds parking lot"

"Sometimes you're a little mentally funky"

"My stomach hurts so bad right now. If I throw up, sorry 🤷‍♀️"

"People were trying to commit social interaction with me so I had to leave the classroom"

"I've been channeling all my insanity into [AP] chem all year and now that's its done... I'm just insane"

"I feel like I inhaled liquid crack"

"Why is there communism?!"- looks up in math class to see the communist symbol drawn on the board

Junior Year:

"Bro you'll never guess who I saw"

"Who?"

"Everyone we hate"

-on the first day of school

"Hold it STEADILY, like a BAGUETTE"

"I may be a little obsessed with soup"

*emerging from behind a pillar* "a little? a LITTLE???"

"You're gonna pass out, that's on you"

"I would kill for a baby leopard"

"Everyone in set crew knows my name because you guys keep on yelling it"

"Did you just tell me to piss in a bucket??"

"You're the adolf Hitler of ladders"

"No we're going to invade crustacean world, duh"

"What if hes not here today?"

"No he is, hes wearing his lighting McQueen crocs"

"You're a potato colored mashed potato"

*wrapped in a pumpkin blanket* "its spooky season !!"

"I'm bringing something from my culture...beans on toast"

"But it was funny, therefore I have no regrets"

"What are you testing?"

"Uhh, my will to live"

"What constitutes above average calves?"

"I hate gifts and I hate you! *trips* ...that was karma"

"I can bring sauces...I can bring a variety of sauce" (for waffles)

"Let me be your roomba" to the tune of 🎶let me be your woman🎵

"Life in the midwest used to be really lonely and isolated and like sad...seems to be the same today"

"I don't want to go to No Place for Hate because...I love hating"

"If the grades dont touch neither do you"

"Anything can be a tortellini if you try hard enough"

"Lauren, does this curve look stupid"

"Its almost kidnapping. We dont do that here"

"Would you tell us [the embarrassing nickname] if Landon rizzed you up?"

"No"

"You heartless bitch"

"My moms a marriot slut"

"I think I can gaslight her into giving me an A"

"Their buttholes would have been shaking!"

"Their buttholes WERE shaking"

"Nuh uh!"

"I feel like I should be eating more strawberries...I think god told me"

"So I have to buy it on amazon like a fucking capitalist"

"SUE ME FOR BEING WHITE" -after a heated discussion about bagels

"But like who in their right mind would name their child 'funny valentine'?"

"Wait why did you say 'happy eggs'?"

"No you are not doing a homestuck quote"

Creative writing teacher: "if you do a homestuck quote you will be penalized"

"Mine's an ant romcom"

"Get your baby out of my marmalade"

"I just had the most refreshing five minute nap"

"He bit half the worm and we were like ryan no"

"Anyway, as I was saying, you look like a penguin"

"Are you shitting my dick!"

*after taking a math quiz*

"I'm gonna throw away this pencil, its cursed"

"Got that D tingle"

"I hate it here"

"I'm either the smartest person alive or dumb as shit"

“I get chills when she sings that part”

"I get chills when you shut your mouth"

"[This theatre company] is going to have so many suitcases. Maybe next year we can do a play about planes"

"Thank you?"

"Its a compliment"

"Thank you!"

"Wheres the quicky changy... excuse my lango"

"And colleges want to see that you're suffering"

*playing a game where you pick a category and name things in that category as fast as you can* "Marvel characters. Magneto!"

"Uhh dementia"

"If my heels arent in here I'm wearing crocs"

*comparing id/drivers license photos*

"I look like I'm on drugs"

"I look like I sold you the drugs"

Student A: "Arent we just the best students?"

Teacher: "Uh huh"

Student A: "That didn't sound very sincere"

Student B: "That's because it wasnt"

Student A: "oh"

Senior year:

“I pip pip and I cheerio, it’s just what I do”

“Excuse me, I need to be a little bitch”

*to psych teacher* “I was just wondering, since you’re antisocial, how did back to school night go?”

“I’m not saying a narc and a twink is the same thing, I’m saying you look like a narc AND a twink”

“You know how to turn that on??”

“Yeah, there’s an on button!”

“Bro I went to the beach recently and like I’ve never felt water like that before”

*talking about the existence of chocolate cows*

*from across the room* “what did you just call me?!?”

“What the fuck is anthropology? Is that plants?”

*to phone* “call pickle”

“Oh fiddlesticks!”

“Oh shitdicks!”

“I caught a charizard! I’m gonna name it penis!”

“People keep calling me baby shark and I just want to *strangling motion*, I want to tell them I’m not baby shark, I’m mommy shark”

“Some of these presentations are not going to eat, and I’m gonna be mad because I love a good slideshow”

Friend: “Carissa, why is your laptop so big?”

Me: “what?!” *looks around for validation*

Other friend: “look, I didn’t wanna say anything…”

*someone absolutely headbanging to Last Christmas*

*psych teacher going on a tangent*

“What’s he yapping about?”

“The uzsh (usual)”

*while running past us* “I parked my car in fucking Timbuktu”

*a little later*

Me: “this isn’t Timbuktu, this is like Canada”

*about Winston from 1984* “Damn this bitch is weak…I could bench him”

“So not a fursona but a humansona”

“I feel like I wanna build a bomb”- said in a physics classroom hopped up on Celsius

“Ugh this is so greasy”

“Just how I like my women…I don’t know why I said that”

*about a pair of butterfly scissors* “Look! It’s a little butterfly! Flap flap bitch”

“Are you being racist against clowns?”

“I think I’m gonna go home and do a backflip”

“You’re a furry”

“And you’re a whore”

“I know :)”

“I don’t even like books but I like women”

“Who wouldn’t want this hunk of meat” - tiny Asian girl

*after saying something nice about him* “No but also Carson you suck and you’re awful and we all hate you”

*wins blooket* “I guess I am serving cunt today”

A: “If you were a worm, what’s the first thing you would do?”

B: “Uhh burrow in the dirt.”

A: “That’s such a basic answer”

B: “Well what would you do??”

A: “World domination.”

[some time later]

A: “If you were a cricket what would you do?”

B: “World domination”

A: *weird look* “uh…ok”

B: “What would you do???”

A: “I don’t know, chirp”

“She was like ‘can someone read the definition of male vocalist?’ We don’t even have a male vocalist! The entire cast is nuns!”

“I have this theory, from what I’ve observed. Guys act gayer, girls are gayer”

Psych teacher: “what are you gonna do in Australia? Engineering?”

Alumni: “I’m gonna do women”

“You know what sounds really good right now?”

“S’mores?”

“Jumping off a fucking cliff”

“I was gonna serve cunt today but I slept in. I’ll serve cunt tomorrow”

“I wish I was able to hibernate. I wish I was given the same grace bears wear given”

“What are you so happy about?”

“I have CHICKEN!!”

“I’m gonna bark at him”

“I am sorry to disappoint everyone, but I am a straight individual”

“Four plus four equals ate”

“Ooh what’s 64 divided by 2”

“…32?”

“Oh-“ *was trying to get eight*

“Oh my god, oh my god”

*concerned* “what??”

“My uterus.”

“This train is so hot [read: attractive]”

“That’s called a concussion sweetie”

*to psych teacher* “you have stds?”

“You think he has women??”

“Did I ask?”

“No but I answered”

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there”

“Banana- wait no”

“The chicken is suicidal, the chicken is depressed, and I am the chicken” - about why did the chicken cross the road

“If I wanna hear sonic injesting coke, then I’m going to hear sonic injesting coke godammit”

“This is my bad ear-“

“The fact that you have a bad ear is really concerning”

“Well you have two bad eyes so fuck you”

[monkesupreme]

ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

[lotus-pear]

learning to love

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

[remxedmoon]

practicing self care (projecting my stims on my blorbos)

greyscale vers below the cut!

[anbaisai]

It's not even actually their birthday

(Based on a conversation I had with a friend + Jamil's 2024 birthday present to the player)

[vohtaro]

some achilles character portraits i made up as i was contemplating a more war-like appearance in hades 2

[jsheios]

So Hilda season 3. (This post has nothing to do with hilda season 3)

[falling-skyzz]

kinkajou best character

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can't be the only one.

I’ll be honest and say I literally did base William’s face off this image…

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[shripscapi]

Ygritte commission for @jaehaeryshater 🩵

[narfin-frood]

best friends five ever

[still-searching-for-something]

This sounds cheesy and corny as fuck, but I'm going to be honest. A major source of comfort and strength in this antisemitic world for me has been Captain America.

He was created by Jews to be an allegory for the golem story, adapted into American comic books (because who else but Jews would work in such a lowly profession?) and written off as some nerdy thing only weirdos cared about, with zero relevance for the modern world. And he is, today, one of the most recognizable icons of pop culture and fiction.

But it isn't just his real world story. It's also his words, which, as a writer, are important to me.

That line was so good they put it in the movies:

And I know for a fact that the world is telling me something wrong (antisemitism) is something good. They have decided hating Jews is trendy and cutting edge again. And I will endure as many 'genocide denier' and 'child killer' and 'Zionist colonizer' accusations as they want to throw at me, because I know this:

Hatred of a people for simply being who they are is wrong. Hatred of Jews for being Jews is evil and disgusting.

So you know what? Fuck you.

You move.

[mermen]

hey everyone, it's me asking for help again. my girlfriend and i have been struggling to pay the late rent fees our landlords have been piling onto us due to one late payment a few months ago. it goes up by 2 dollars every day and goes up by $42 every first of the month. to be clear, the actual rent is paid! but we don't have the extra funds to pay the late fees and it will keep going up if we don't do anything about it. we've tried putting in small extra amounts but it just gets eaten up in a few days. the original goal was $255, but in the days since, it's gone up to $267.

it's a hard time for everyone rn, so please don't feel bad if you can't assist! any amount, no matter how small, will help. thank you so much for reading

0 / 267

paypal

GOAL REACHED: 293 / 293 (3/19) thank you thank you

[wtfforged]

artblock free me from your foul clutches