#so that I can tell you that your shitty kid has done something I found pretty awesome

[atlabeth]

time’s blur - ialwbty au

series masterlist

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader but this primarily features percy jackson & sister!reader

summary: somehow, someway, you come back.

a/n: wow it has been a while hasn't it!! 148 days to be exact!! im always thinking about these two in the corner of my mind and ive been wanting to write this au since i got an ask about it, originally i was going to do it all as a big long one shot but i just want to get something out lol. and this will give me more freedom to do wte i want with this au instead of just having one big one shot and leaving it. anyways enjoy there is actually some fluff for once but still some emotional damage and there is more to come!! also reader is 19 and percy is 15

wc: 3.5k

warning(s): hurricane dies but she has come back!! told through percy's pov. angst, hurt/comfort, signature percy jackson guilt, but some fluffy sibling moments<3

Percy doesn’t end up in the infirmary at 2:29 in the morning out of instinct, foresight, or any kind of divine ‘chosen one’ intervention. 

He ends up in the infirmary at 2:29 in the morning because some Apollo kid was hooking up with an Ares kid on the beach, and they found you. 

They found you, not Percy. He didn’t even have a clue until he woke up to Chiron in his cabin.

Percy had had his fair share of rude awakenings over the years, usually because of horrific demigod prophetic dreams, but the expression on Chiron’s face immediately alerted Percy that something was wrong, even through his groggy haze. 

“Chiron?” he rasps, and he sits up as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. He has to make sure he’s not still dreaming. 

“I’m sorry to wake you, Percy,” he says. “But I need you to come with me.” 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Is everyone okay? Is camp okay? Is there an invasion?” 

“Nothing so ghastly,” Chiron says. Though his tone is a bit lighter, it still doesn’t ease Percy’s concerns. “But it does concern you.” 

“Great,” Percy mumbles, and he pulls himself out of bed. Normally he would have the foresight to change, but a part of him is still worried that Christmas has come early and Kronos has already invaded the city. 

So he follows Chiron—with all the sneaking around he’s done since getting to camp, it’s strange to be out this late and not have to worry about being eaten alive—clad in flannel pajama pants, a Yankee’s tee, and Converse he didn’t get the chance to fully lace up. 

“You’d tell me if something was wrong,” Percy says, glancing up at him. “Right?” 

“Of course,” he nods. “I wouldn’t classify this as something going wrong. Just… rather shocking.” 

“Great,” he repeats. “Are you going to tell me?” 

Chiron is silent for a moment, and Percy frowns. “Now I’m really worried.” 

“I suppose it’s best to rip the bandage off,” Chiron says. He stops right outside the Big House and lets out a sigh. “An hour ago, a girl was found on the beach. She looked as if she’d been washed ashore.” 

Percy’s frown deepens. “What? Gods— is she okay?” 

“Yes,” Chiron says. “I checked her over for injuries, but she only had some minor bruises. No water in her lungs, somehow.” 

“That’s crazy,” he says. “How could someone even wash up here? Even with demigods— don’t we have protections against that?” 

“All of this makes me believe there was some… divine intervention,” Chiron says slowly. “Especially with who she is.” 

Percy crosses his arms. “You’re making this sound like a huge deal. Who is she?”

“Percy,” Chiron says, soft but firm, “it’s your sister. Somehow, she’s come back to life.” 

And for a second, all he can do is stare. 

“What?” 

“I could never forget her face,” he says. “Or the presence of a child of Poseidon.” 

Percy shakes his head. “No, Chiron— if this is a joke, it’s not funny.” He huffs a mirthless laugh and looks down at his hands. “And if this is a shitty dream, then it’s really shitty.” 

“Perseus, this is real,” he states. 

He’s still shaking his head. “How can it be real? She’s dead— she’s been dead for years.”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Mr. D has already gone back to Olympus to figure it out. But if I had to guess, your father decided to meddle.”

He wants to call it a lie. Honestly, he wants to punch Chiron for getting his hopes up about something like this. But deep down, Percy knows he’s telling the truth. 

“Can I see her?” he asks. “Is— is she okay? Does she know who she is?”

“In time,” Chiron says. “I cannot be sure, but it doesn’t look like she remembers anything from her life.” 

Percy shakes his head again. It doesn’t feel real. He’s imagined what it would feel like to meet you since the moment Luke told him about you, but he knew it could never happen. 

But now, all that stands between Percy and his sister is a few doors. 

“I want to see her,” he says.

“Of course,” Chiron nods. “I just need to make sure it won’t mess with her further. This isn’t like Thalia coming back with the fleece—though I have suspicions, I can’t be sure how this happened. It could be a very delicate matter.” 

“As long as it doesn’t hurt her more.” 

Chiron nods again and he opens the door to the Big House. He follows him up to his office door, then stops when Chiron gestures at the couch. 

“I just need to discuss a few more things with her.” 

Percy nods wordlessly and sits down, then Chiron disappears into his office. 

A million things are running through Percy’s mind, namely guilt. 

Shouldn’t he have been the one to find you? 

Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but it’s you. 

You’re his sister. He’s always had a connection to you, even when you were gone—gods, the night after he found out you existed you appeared in his dreams. Percy’s spent almost every moment since he found out about you wishing you were still here, that he could meet you, and when it finally does happen—somehow, because he still doesn’t understand what the fuck went on for this to happen—he’s not even the one to find you? He’s just asleep like every other night?

He huffs a sigh as he hunches over, his forearms on his knees. His leg bounces up and down at a rapid pace, moving his entire body with it, but this is one time he can’t lay his ADHD to rest. He’s more surprised he isn’t up pacing the entire room for the hundredth time. 

If Percy feels like this, he can’t even imagine how you must feel. To come back for seemingly no reason with no memories, after four years in Elysium. 

Luke said you’d been killed by a monster. You were buried like any other person. 

You were gone.

But you just… came back.  

He lets out another harried sigh and falls back against the couch. He’s exhausted, but there’s no chance of him being able to go back to sleep. Not with you around. 

Suddenly, the door opens, and Percy instantly darts up from his seat. You walk out with Chiron and it’s almost surreal.

You look like all the pictures, all his dreams, just older—more mature. He wants to cry and scream and hug you all at once. 

Your eyes widen slightly, and you glance at Chiron for a moment before you focus back on Percy.

“Uh— sorry,” he says, wincing a bit. He doesn’t know how to act around you, not when he knows you but you don’t know him. “I waited for you. I thought it would be good to have someone on the other side.” 

“That’s really nice,” you murmur. “I… I see why. Word on the street is that you’re my brother.” 

Percy nods way too many times. “Yeah. Uh— yeah. We’re both children of—” 

He pauses, his gaze moving past you to Chiron. He has to have explained all this to you, right? 

“Poseidon,” you finish, and you let out a slightly shaky laugh. “Chiron laid out all the basics.” 

“This has all got to be really confusing,” he says. “I remember how lost I was when I first got to camp, and I didn’t even…” 

“Die?” you ask wryly. He nods again. He really can’t finish any sentence around you—he’s so worried of saying the wrong thing and accidentally hurting you. Percy doesn’t know how any of this works.

“It’s strange,” you admit. “I… I lived this whole life before this, and I don’t even remember any of it.”

Percy’s heart clenches painfully. He doesn’t know how he’s going to explain everything to you when you start remembering. 

When you start remembering Luke. 

“Really?” he asks. “There’s nothing?”

You shake your head. “I have my name, but that’s all. And…”

Percy frowns. “What?”

You pause for a moment before you shake your head again. “Nothing. This is just…”

“Weird?” 

You nod with a slight laugh. “Yeah. To say the least.”

“If it makes you feel better, you’re not the first person to come back to life,” Percy says. “Uh, a girl named Thalia used to be a tree before she was turned back into a human.”

You frown. “Wow.”

“We can get to all of that some other day,” Chiron thankfully interrupts. “Percy, will you take her back to your cabin?”

“You’re sure we won’t get eaten by the harpies?” Percy asks. “Aello is out for my blood.”

“I promise,” Chiron says. He glances at you, your frown noticeably deeper, and he looks back at Percy. “Perhaps we should, ah, hold off on this sort of discussion. Until tomorrow, at least.”

“Of course,” Percy says. “Sorry. You must be exhausted.” 

“A little,” you admit. “Apparently coming back to life takes it out of you.” 

“Come back here first thing in the morning,” Chiron says. “We have… quite a bit to talk about.” 

“That’s an understatement,” you murmur. 

Percy smiles a bit, and he gestures with his head for you to follow him. You do, and Chiron goes back into his office. He nabs a bag of ambrosia squares from an empty bedside as the two of you go through the infirmary just to be safe, and when he glances back at you he sees you frowning. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Does anything hurt?” 

“You’re a Yankees fan?” you say instead. 

Percy blinks, then he realizes you’re looking at his shirt. “Uh— yeah.” He chuckles. “I’m from New York, and my mom loves them, so…” he tugs at his shirt. “I know you like the Red Sox. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say. “We can’t all be perfect.” 

Percy can’t help but smile. You died and came back to life, and you remember nothing but your name and your love for the Boston Red Sox. 

“That means you keep up with baseball, right?” 

“When I can,” he says. “We don’t really have technology out here.” 

“Have the Red Sox won a world series since I’ve been gone?” 

“They won last year, actually.”

Your eyes widen and you instantly grin. “Really?”

He nods. “They beat the Cardinals.”

“That— that’s huge!” you exclaim. “Oh my god, they broke the curse and I didn’t get to see it? This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!”

“You know you died, right?”

“And look how well that worked out for me.” You shake your head. “I need to go to the library or something and find some footage.”

“As much as I would love to do that,” Percy says, “we have a few other things we have to focus on.”

You huff and shake your head. “Fine. But as soon as we figure all this out, I’m figuring out some way to see those games.” 

Percy chuckles. “I don’t think anyone’ll deny you that.” 

“Good.” 

Silence settles over the two of you as you walk back to the Poseidon cabin, and Percy just feels awkward. 

He always thought about what he would say to you if he finally got to see you again, and now you’re alive somehow and right next to him and he has no idea what to do. 

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” Percy finally decides on. “Chiron said you just washed up on shore.” 

“I feel surprisingly okay,” you say. “All I remember is waking up at the bottom of the lake. I thought I was going to drown, so I kicked my way up, and then got to shore.” You shake your head. “Somehow, I didn’t drown. My clothes weren’t even wet. I’ve got to be the luckiest person out there.” 

“You’re a child of Poseidon,” he says. “We can’t breathe underwater so we can’t drown, and our clothes don’t get wet unless we want them to.” 

“Like I said,” you incline your head, “luckiest person out there.” 

“I just don’t get why you’re back,” Percy says. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are. I just don’t understand how, or why— or why now.” 

You open your mouth to say something, but you’re not able to get any words out before a yawn interrupts it. 

“Maybe that’s a tomorrow problem,” you say. 

“I think you’re right,” Percy says. He opens the door to the camp store and you follow him inside, but you frown. 

“What is this?” 

“The camp store,” he says. “You don’t really have anything, so I wanted to get you some things.” 

You just stare as he starts taking things. “You’re just… stealing?” 

“Just a couple toiletries and some clothing,” he says. “They won’t miss it.” He stashes it all in a Camp Halfblood tote bag and holds it out to you, and though you’re a bit hesitant, you still take it. 

“Thanks,” you say. “We won’t get in trouble?” 

“I think everyone will cut you some slack for a while,” Percy says. “A guy did this for me my first day and it helps—makes you feel more at home.” 

You hum, and this time you open the door for Percy. “Nice guy.” 

Percy swallows the sudden lump in his throat, trying to ignore the chill that trickles down his spine as he realizes the implications of his words. 

“Yeah,” Percy mutters. “He was.” 

Eventually, the two of you get back to the Poseidon cabin. He opens the door for you and you slowly walk inside. 

Again, it’s strange that you’re here. It’s like if a piece of his history textbook suddenly came to life and started walking around—he’s heard so much about you, imagined what he thought would be an impossible meeting so many times, but now that it’s actually happening he doesn’t know what to do. 

And it hits even more as you walk over to a picture of yourself hanging on the wall, surrounded by a myriad of others. 

It’s one of many of you and Luke, him holding you close with an arm slung around your shoulder as you beam at the camera with the brightest smile imaginable. Before Luke got his scar, before you died, before he went off the deep end. 

“I put a couple of your pictures up,” Percy rushes to explain, his throat feeling scratchy, “and a few of your old things. As— as a way to remember you.”

“I love it,” you say, and the tension dissolves in his shoulders when he sees your smile. It really is so much brighter in person. “I— I can’t believe I don’t remember any of this.”

“We’ll figure out a way to get it back,” Percy says. “I promise.” 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you say idly as you continue to take all the pictures in. He can’t imagine what it must feel like to see all these memories of a past life you have no recollection of. 

“I don’t,” he says. “We’re gonna figure it out.”

You’re silent for a while as you keep looking at them. Then you take one of the pictures off the wall, the one of you and Luke at a baseball game. 

“Luke,” you murmur, as if you don’t realize you’re saying it out loud. You blink, then you turn to Percy. “His name is Luke, isn’t it?”

He nods, almost in disbelief. You don’t remember a damn thing about your old life but you know Luke’s name.

How is Percy supposed to tell you what he did? 

You laugh softly as you trail your nail over the edge. “We must’ve been pretty close if I got him to go to a Red Sox game.” You look over at Percy. “Does he go here too?”

After a moment, Percy shakes his head. “He— uh, he used to.”

“Makes sense,” you murmur, and you put the picture back on the wall. “I got the easy way out. Everyone else had to deal with the fallout.”

Percy frowns. “You were killed by a monster. I don’t think anyone considers that the easy way out.” 

“It kinda was,” you say with a shrug. “I— I don’t remember much about it, but Chiron said I was in Elysium. There aren’t any monsters down there, and there certainly aren’t any responsibilities.”

“Well,” Percy sits down on his bed, “I’m glad you’re here. You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined meeting you.” 

You chuckle. “I didn’t know I was so popular.” 

“I’m serious,” he says. “Poseidon is one of the Big Three, and they made an oath not to have kids. I was the only Big Three kid in general when I got to camp—when I found out about you, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have a sister to talk about all of this with.” 

Your eyes soften, and you lean against his bed frame. “I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry about?” 

“I— I don’t know,” you say with a slight laugh. “I just feel bad that I couldn’t be there for you.” 

“You’re already doing a pretty good job at being a big sister,” Percy says wryly. 

“Thanks,” you say. “You’re doing a pretty good job at being a younger brother.” 

Percy laughs and smiles, and you smile too. He’s beginning to understand what Luke always said, about your presence embodying warmth. He’s only been around you for a few minutes and he already feels better. 

“I’ve never had a brother before this,” you say. “So there might be a couple speed bumps.” 

“We’ll get through them together,” Percy says. “Besides, I… I kind of always considered you my sister. Ever since I found out about you, even though you were…” 

“Dead?” you guess, and he winces. You chuckle a bit. “It’s still weird for me, too. Can’t imagine what it must be like for all of you.” 

“Weird,” he says without really thinking. “Really weird. But I’m thankful that you’re back.” 

You smile. “So am I, Percy.” 

You let out another yawn, and you sit down on the bed across from him. “God, what time is it?” 

Percy glances at the clock in the corner. “3:34.” 

You whistle. “I really chose a great time to come back, huh?” 

He chuckles, and he kicks off his shoes as gets up to turn the lights off. “I think some sleep would do us both some good.” 

You nod and do the same. As you lay back, one hand behind your head, you continue to look around the cabin. 

“Are these your band posters?” 

He shakes his head as he sits back down. “They’re yours, actually, but you’ve got good taste. I love Pearl Jam.” 

“I used to have good taste, you mean,” you say wryly. 

“Hey,” he says. “I meant what I told you. We’re gonna get your memories back.” 

“How are you so sure?” 

“I’ve done a lot of impossible things,” Percy says. “And so have you, from what I’ve heard. It’s kind of the Poseidon kid way, honestly.” 

“You’ll have to teach me some things, then.” 

“And when you get your memory back, you’ll have to do the same,” he says. 

You smile and nod. “Deal.” 

Percy smiles too, and he lays down. “You really should try and get some sleep. Chiron wasn’t joking when he said we have a lot to talk about.” He huffs a slight laugh. “Whatever the reason is for you coming back, I guarantee there’s gonna be some people upstairs that are mad about it.” 

Your eyebrows rise. “Upstairs?” 

“Olympus,” he says. “The gods don’t really like things happening out of their control.” 

You hum, and for a moment there’s nothing but silence and the sound of both your breathing. It’s a little strange having someone else here other than Tyson, but he’s thankful for it. 

“What’s gonna happen to me?” you ask. There’s an edge of fear in your voice, and Percy frowns. 

“Nothing.” 

“Don’t lie.” 

“Nothing is going to happen,” he repeats. “I’m not going to let anything happen. The gods have already messed with your life enough—they don’t get to do it again.” 

Percy half-expects to hear the sound of thunder echoing across camp, but the silence continues. Maybe Zeus isn’t listening in on him for once, or maybe he just expects the disrespect at this point. 

“I really am the luckiest person,” you say. “I’ve got someone like you looking out for me.” 

“You were looking out for me when you were gone,” he says. “You might not remember, but I could feel it. So I’m just repaying the favor.” 

Again, silence. It’s temporarily interrupted by the sound of sheets shifting, then you speak. 

“I’m really glad I got to meet you, Percy,” you murmur. 

He can’t help but smile, and he tries to ignore the tears beginning to spring in his eyes. He has no idea why you’re back—no idea what this could mean. Maybe your dad did bring you back, maybe it’s a bizarre case like Thalia, maybe you play a part in something that they don’t even know about yet and it's nothing but bad news.

But for once in his life, Percy’s not going to question it. 

You’re alive and you’re here. 

For now, that’s all he needs. 

“Me too,” he whispers.

[xxchumanixx]

I know it says requests closed, ok? But i'll leave this here until you take requests ❤️

also i looove your work sm

can you do one with tim bradford x fem!reader with a lot of angst, hurt to comfort something bad? like the reader gets hurt, kidnapped something very bad outside work.

the reader is lucy's best friend and tim's gf, maybe the reader being a rookie at the same time as lucy

and the reader gets in some trouble and it becomes progressively worse but she didn't say anything to anyone bc she's a cop and think she can handle it?

but in the end it's like really bad and tim is desperate looking for her, and his world crushes when he finds her?

something similar to 2x11 (that ep broke me into pieces and the scene with tim and lucy buried my heart right in hell) but his desperation is waay worse bc it's about the reader and he loves her

lots of love ❤️

Breaking Point

Tim Bradford x fem!reader

Warnings/Tags: a lot of angst, hurt, mentions of blood, fluff

Word count: tba

Authors note: Hello love, omg it's been soo long I'm soooo sorry! This is not proofread yet, but I hope you'll like it! Love you!

Also, don't know if anyone else has that problem, but every time I make something fat or cursive, it changes the whole text after a few seconds. This happened after an update, and it's SO annoying!

OMG

Anyways, enjoy!

Listen, I know what you might think now.

Okay, maybe I don't. But to get captured and tortured wasn't your intention when this started.

Hell, of course it wasn't.

But you couldn't have predicted this either.

Neither could you have predicted how an encounter with a certain gangster would end - with you doing whatever he says.

At least he had the decency to only let you make his wrongdoings disappear.

It all went good.

That was, until one day you said no to him. It took him ten hours of his patience to kidnap and torture you, leave you for every cop to see what a shitty job you had done for this city.

And to your fellow colleagues.

You had only graded p2, together with Lucy and John. Lucy and you were best friends; it had instantly clicked once you started your training together.

You had been the first to know about her and John, had helped her through the heartbreak and all that had followed.

She, in turn, was the first to know about you and Tim.

You had started dating when you were still a rookie - luckily not his, or else it would have made everything a lot more complicated.

So, when everything seemed to go perfect, it had to come some shit along the way. It just couldn't have stayed perfect, could it?

This shit was named Luis El Ferno.

A wealthy son of an even wealthier mafia family that had a thing for speeding and collecting tickets. Along with other things that piled up in his file.

And as luck had it, he sought you out to be the perfect candidate for blackmailing. So when the first picture of your almost naked form landed in your mail, you had the shock of your life.

The photo was paired with a letter, saying if you didn't do as he said, he'd ruin your career. And not only that.

He'd ruin you completely.

So you complied, hoping to handle this on your own. Tim was clueless, as was the rest of them all.

Things soon took turns, though, getting worse the more time passed. Then, when he wanted you to do more than just cleaning up his mess, you said no.

You told yourself it was for the better.

You were a cop after all. You could handle this, right?

Big mistake.

When he found out he couldn't threaten you with the photos anymore, at least not enough for you to give in, he let his men kidnap you.

They punched you and used you as their personal boxing bag. They didn't stop when you were pleading, and they didn't stop when you fell silent.

They only stopped when there was nothing left to beat.

And when you closed your eyes, you had never been more grateful for the comfort of nothingness.

----

"You have to be kidding me!" Lucy laughed, leaning back on the sofa. "No way! Tell me you're lying!"

You laughed with her, shaking your head. "I wish I was." you said. "It was so embarrassing! For a moment, I thought he'd let me walk back to the station!"

She laughed louder, biting her lip.

"I would have loved to see that!" she said. "I can imagine the look on Tim's face so clearly!"

You shook your head, smiling. "Yeah, you should have seen the way he tried to keep his cool." you told her. "The poor lady excused herself so many times that her puke was already dry when she finally was in the car."

Lucy doubled over with laughter, the glass in her hand shaking threateningly. "Oh my god!" she breathed out, wiping at her eyes. "Damn, I need that body cam material!"

Eyes widening, you shook your head. "God, no!"

She laughed even more at your shocked expression, wiping at her eyes once more. Oh, she would somehow get that footage, she was sure of that.

It was a night with your bestie, a tradition that had developed early in your training as a rookie. You would sit together, drink cocktails, and do whatever you wanted.

Painting your nails, watching sappy movies, or simply talking.

It was something you never would have missed out on. So, when you didn't show up that day and Lucy didn't get a message from you saying that you wouldn't make it, either, she started to get worried.

She knew you better than most people did, so she knew something must be wrong. Calling Tim, her fingers danced over the rim of her glass, nerves piling up.

"Hey, do you know where Y/N is?" she asked when he picked up, not wasting any time.

Tim frowned on the other end of the line. "I thought she would be with you?" he gave back, eyes scanning the living room.

Your things weren't there, so you must have been on your way to Lucy, right?

"Well, she isn't here, and she didn't text me." Lucy responded, causing Tim's frown to deepen. You were reliable, you wouldn't just cancel plans without telling her.

Let alone disappear.

"I haven't heard from her since this morning." Tim admitted, biting his cheek. "I mean, we had an argument, but still, she would at least text."

Lucy sighed, nodding to herself.

"I'm worried, Tim." she admitted. "If she didn't text any of us, nor show up..." She bit down on her finger, trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts swarming her mind.

Tim swallowed heavily. He already felt guilty for not checking up on you earlier, and the fact that they didn't know where you were, made it even worse.

"I'm heading to the station." he decided, getting up with the phone still pressed to his ear. Lucy nodded on the other end. "Okay, I'll meet you there."

He knew better than to argue with her. She'd do anything for the people she loved.

----

"Okay, one last chance." he whispered into your ear, causing you to shiver in disgust. His breath reeked of whiskey, his shirt of cigarettes. "I really don't want to rearrange that pretty face of yours."

You swallowed heavily but didn't budge. He wouldn't get you to let a corpse disappear.

Never.

He tutted, shaking his head disapprovingly. "And here I thought we were friends." he mused, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

You jerked your head away from him, glaring up at him. "We're not friends, Luis." you told him angrily. He scoffed, the back of his hand connecting with your cheek with a harsh slap.

Your head whipped to the side, skin aflame.

Tears pricked in your eyes, but your anger only intensified.

"Do you really think you're in command here?" he seethed, harshly grabbing your chin to make you look at him, fingers digging into your burning flesh. "Dont forget who you're dealing with!"

You spit in his face in response.

Another big mistake.

You really should have listened to your mother never to get involved with such people.

Mothers always were right, weren't they?

Luis face became progressively darker, turning redder. He roared, and his fist made contact with your gut, knocking the wind out of you.

So much for the gut feeling.

"Maybe I should teach you a lesson." Luis grumbled, shaking his hand. "You little slut are stepping out of line, and I really don't like that!"

You swallowed, knowing what this man was capable of doing.

Or let do.

He whistled, smirking at you. Two men entered the large room that could have worked as bouncers - ex-military if you'd had to guess.

Luis turned his attention to the men, speaking extra loud so you wouldn't miss his words.

"This little whore needs to be taught a lesson." he told them. "Or two. She's dancing out of line, and I can't have that. Vladimir-" he turned to one of them and your blood ran cold.

Russians.

"You said your wrist ached, right? Maybe a little punching will help?"

Vladimir, the bigger of the too, chuckled darkly. "When did it not?"

His knuckles cracked, and your eyes closed, silently praying Tim would find you before it was too late.

----

"I want every available cop in this station." Tim spoke as Grey entered the on call room. His brows knitted at Tim's words, clearing his throat.

"Bradford, what is going on?" he wanted to know, all eyes on them. "Y/N is missing." Tim explained, thumbs hooked into his waistband, so his fingers wouldn't fumble with everything they got hold of.

Grey's brows knitted further before he nodded. "Are you sure she's missing?" he asked. Tim nodded, eyes downcast. "Yes, sir."

Grey hummed, clearing his throat again. "Okay." he said, swallowing. "Where was she last seen?"

They started to form a plan, checking your last locations. Your phone hadn't been responsive yet, not being able to be tracked.

They were checking out possible locations on a map, as Tim's phone suddenly rang with a message, then another. He fished for his phone, hoping it was you.

His hopes were heard.

Without further checking the message, he clicked on it, mind working overtime.

Then, his blood ran cold, and everything suddenly came crashing to a halt.

The message consisted of a photo and a text.

A photo of you, battered and bruised, blood staining your body and clothes. They were torn, your head hanging low.

Under the photo, the message read: "Your officer, Y/N Y/L/N, has done a very shitty job. Only fair for her to pay the price for it."

Tim could feel all eyes on him, the room suddenly eerily silent. His fingers trembled, his whole body trembled.

He could hear Grey distantly, asking him what happened. He could feel his hand on his shoulder, turning him towards him, but everything seemed to be in a blur.

Grey's gaze fell to the phone, and his heart stopped. "Oh god." he mumbled, a lump forming in his throat.

Lucy stepped forward, heart hammering nervously in her chest. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. "What happened?" she wanted to know, repeating Grey's words.

Neither of them reacted for a second, glued to the spot, eyes on the phone. Moments later, it clattered to the floor as Tim stumbled backward. Lucy took the opportunity to grab it, turning the display towards her.

She wished she hadn't.

Her breath got stuck in her throat at what she saw. She read the text a few times, mind running haywire. Her hands shook, and she had to place the phone down, or otherwise it would have fallen for a second time.

They could only hope you weren't as dead as you looked.

----

It was ugly.

First you found it strange, then funny that they were counting the amount of times they punched you.

They must have been paid for punches.

After the tenth punch, you fell silent. You had pleaded for them to stop only moments earlier, as they took turns in punching and slapping you.

Neither of them cared for your feeble attempts. It only seemed to spur them on.

Every part of your body ached by now, your numb mind telling you to be grateful that they weren't doing other things to you.

It felt like you'd been hit by a truck numerous times.

You weeped as a blow to your stomach knocked any remaining air from your lungs.

That was all you could muster now.

A small weep.

Your head felt like it was wrapped in clouds, vision blurry, and slowly fading. Your hope of getting out of this alive withering by the second.

How were they supposed to find you? How should they track you when Luis took your phone, most likely destroying it?

A punch in your face made your head spin, as everything seemed to blur together, dark spots obscuring your vision further.

And as you thought all hope was lost, you slowly sank into the comfort of unconsciousness.

----

Time seemed to tick in slow motion.

Tim couldn't keep still, he had to move, trying to match his racing heart.

The fear he felt cut deep, like a knife. It bored its way into his heart, infecting it with its poison. He had only felt such fear twice before - once when his ex-wife left him overnight, and the second time when Lucy was buried alive.

But it didn't compare to the fear he felt now. It seemed tenfold.

Grey had to calm him multiple times, or else he would have stormed out there, searching every building for you.

He would have done everything for you.

After what felt like an eternity to Tim, they were able to track the location where the photo of you was taken.

The photo that was glued to the back of his eyelids, not letting him think of anything else.

He felt guilty, an ugly feeling that crept into his very being, infiltrating all of his nerves, his bones, and very fibers.

It was the worst feeling of them all.

He blamed himself - blamed himself for accusing you of having secrets eatlier that day.

That he was right he didn't know then.

But he'd seen your change in demeanor, the way you would pull away from him.

It hurt him so much that he caused an argument.

One he was deeply regretting now.

He had to remind himself to pay attention, to wait for the signal to enter the warehouse they located you in.

How cliché.

When Grey gave the signal, Tim's heart stumbled before it doubled its speed.

Time to move.

They walked forward in formation before splitting, getting ready to bust the door open and head inside, facing whatever might lurk behind the heavy metal door.

When the door was opened, he was the first to enter the large room, eyes quickly scanning his surroundings, gun drawn, as he flinched at the sight.

Tim believed his heart had stopped.

If he hadn't been standing upright, he'd thought he'd died - even though that could have changed any second, as he stumbled towards you.

He couldn't tell if you were still breathing, your body hanging limp in the chair in the middle of the warehouse. Your face was bruised - badly, blood wherever his eyes reached.

They stung, tears threatening to push through. But he did his best to keep himself together, even though the gasp Angela let out as she saw you, didn't make it any easier for him.

Falling down on his knees in front of you, he let his gun clatter to the floor, fingers carefully brushing away the hair that was stuck to your bloody face. With trembling fingers, he tried to feel for a pulse, heart stopping when he didn't immediately find one.

He could feel the others stare at him, waiting for an answer.

"Come on!" he mumbled to himself, feeling again as goosebumps covered his skin.

There - it was weak, but it was there.

"She's alive." he managed to get out, knowing that the ambulance was already on the way. Relief flooded him, even though it was short-lived.

You seemed like you would give out any moment.

Nyla walked behind you, carefully cutting the rope that was binding you to the chair - the only thing keeping you upright, as you fell forward and into Tim's arms.

His body shook, but he did his best to suppress it.

He had to be strong for the both of you now.

He cradled you in his arms, biting his lip until it bled, all to keep the tears at bay. Praying to whatever gods may be above to let you survive this.

Losing you would have been too much. It'd have destroyed him irrevocably.

He could hear sirens, swallowing against the lump in his throat that seemed to get bigger as time slowly passed.

He could feel the stares, knew they were asking themselves what you must have done to deserve this.

Hell, he asked himself the same question.

And, most importantly, who did this to you.

Whoever it was wouldn't get far once Tim would have his hands on them.

He barely noticed when the paramedics almost had to pry you from his hands, getting you ready for transport.

He was in the back of the ambulance even before they had carried you in.

His numb fingers dug into his pockets, catching onto something. They gripped hold of it, turning the small object over in his hand, thumb brushing over the velvet.

A ring.

He had meant to give it to you, having noticed how much you had seemed to like it when you first saw it.

Now he wondered if he'd ever have the chance to give it to you.

Once you were settled, they took off, the look on Lucy's face surely going to haunt him for weeks to come.

It mirrored his own emotions perfectly.

Fear, helplessness.

Something he didn't feel often.

----

Steady, rhythmic beating was what brought you back.

An awful sound, yet it was the proof of life.

Your body felt heavy, mind dizzy. Your mouth was dry and you were sure you must have died and went straight to hell.

Blinking your eyes open, they were met by dim light, stars shining on the other side of the big window.

You swallowed, trying to get rid of the dryness. As your eyes slowly took in your surroundings, landing on Tim whose head lay on your bed, sleeping peacefully, it all came crushing back.

Tears flooded your eyes, soon the dam breaking. They ran over your face in hot streaks, your bruised skin stinging.

Hands shaking, you brought one of it up to his head, softly brushing through his hair as a sob spilled over your lips.

What you had done was nowhere excusable. They would fire you once they knew what exactly you had done.

You were sure of it.

Tim stirred, disturbed in his sleep. His eyes blinked open, and once they fell on you, he was wide awake, sitting upright.

He scooted closer with his chair, hands gripping your own. Seeing you cry broke his heart.

"It's okay." he shooed, thumbs brushing over the back of your hands before he brought one up, carefully wiping at your tear streaked face. "It's okay, you're safe now."

Your head shook almost automatically, tears and sobs intensifying. "No." you croaked out, sight blurry, and his brows furrowed. "No, it's not okay."

Your head fell back into the cushion, biting your lip as you shook it again.

"What happened?" Tim voiced the question he'd asked himself so many times. "Who did this to you?"

At first, you didn't answer, gaze fixed on the ceiling. When he was about to ask again, your mouth slowly opened.

"I fucked up." you managed to get past your split lips. "I fucked everything up."

Tim had to swallow, doing his best to stay patient. Whatever you did must have been so bad, that it resulted in this.

Clearing your throat, you took a deep breath. "Luis El Ferno." you said his name, blinking rapidly to will away another wave of tears.

The name vaguely rang a bell in Tim's head. He must have been someone they arrested before.

"After we arrested him a few months back, he-" you cut yourself off, fingers cramping around his. "He started to blackmail me with photos someone took of me... naked."

Tim's heart stuttered to a painful halt, eyes widening. Every single thought in his mind came to a stop as your words slowly sank in.

Blackmailed.

Photos of you.

Naked.

He swallowed heavily, that ugly feeling of guilt intensifying.

He should have noticed.

"He wanted me to erase things from his file." you continued, ripping him from his vile thoughts. "And when he asked of me to let a corpse disappear, I said no. Big mistake."

Despite the situation, you managed a humorless, dry laugh, but Tim wasn't in the mood for laughing.

No, he was far closer to breaking something.

Or someone.

"He let his guards 'teach me a lesson', as he said it. To show everyone what a shitty job I did. And he was right."

Tim's gaze snapped back to yours, having been glued to the blanket before. The chair made a nasty sound on the linoleum as he brought it ever closer.

Now he knew what you'd been hiding the past few months.

He would have done the same.

His head shook unbeknownst to him, and he wished he could take you into his arms, hold you close to shield you from all the horror in the world.

But you could barely move, your survival a sole miracle.

He brought your hand to his lips, unable to find the words to assure you everything would be fine.

He knew it wouldn't.

"I'm so sorry." you croaked out, biting your swollen lip as more tears fell. "I know I should have told you, but I was so scared. He said he'd end me if I told someone."

Tim swallowed again, bile rising in his throat at the thought.

Oh, how badly he wanted to have a chat with this man.

Though chat might not be the right word.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. Then his fingers dug into his pocket, taking out the small, velvety box.

He turned it over in his hand before slowly opening it, taking the ring out. It glittered in the dim light, reflecting it.

Your eyes widened at the sight, recognizing it. You had admired it through the jeweler's window, knowing you'd never buy it, because it was way too expensive.

Seeing it now, crushed your heart.

He bad bought it for you.

Tim wiped at his nose before he took your hand, slowly putting the ring onto your finger. It fit perfectly.

Then his fingers encircled yours, holding them tight as he swallowed.

"We'll do this together." he said, looking up at you. "Whatever might come, we'll do it together. I'll fight Grey on it if need be, but you won't leave the LAPD."

Fresh tears gathered in your eyes, blurring your sight. The love you felt for this man was indescribable. And you could only hope you hadn't lost him with what you'd done.

"I love you." he spoke, licking his lip. It tasted salty, and he noticed that a tear of his own had managed to spill. "I promise you I'll be there whenever you need me. We can do this, whatever may come. You and I."

You sobbed, overwhelmed by his words. "I love you, too." you managed to say, not sure how you deserved him. "But I don't know how we'll do that."

He bit his lip, and for the first time since you had been missing, he smiled. It was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"Let me handle that."

Tag List

@newobsessionweekly @laheysfilm @dhundhchrih @augustvandyne @rookietrek @nachofriess @dtftheavengers @wonderland2425

[bloodgors]

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!

featuring: a sunburnt lifeguard!shido ryusei x f!reader

synopsis: being a lifeguard came with a lot of tolerance for kids, teens, and even adults that made dumb decisions in water. shido came home frustrated from work, ready to take his late night run, headphones in hand. you, after seeing his sunburn and piercings on display, had other plans.

note: thank you so much to @kurtiness for letting me use their art and take inspiration from it for this fanfiction, go and check their page out, their bllk art is amazing >0< also, please make sure to reblog and show your love for this post, it helps me get the motivation to write more works like these 🎀

before you read: i went a little overboard... shido ryusei is a warning in and of himself, smut mdni, vv minor fluff @ the end, shidou has a lot of piercings and uses them to his advantage, a lot of cursing, established relationship, meaner shido + needy reader, pain kink (shido), edging + overstimulation (all in one...), scratching + blood, pussy slapping, spitting (can you tell by my fics i <3 spitting), degradation

inspired by this art work from @kurtiness — proofread

"fuck..." shido slams the front door to his house open, whipping his arms behind his back to stretch them. he'd had a more than shitty day today.

it'd been a more than shitty day at work for him. as the first saturday of summer, he'd expected for more people to come than usual. kids, teenagers, even adults that'd been taking advantage of the weekend.

smut under the cut 0_o

what he didn't expect was for them to be do incapable of following basic rules. one whistle after the other, he'd had to dive into the ocean to save kids that failed to these rules. these were just the consequences of their own actions, he thought.

and worst of all, shido had forgotten to bring his usual sunscreen, and with none of his colleagues on duty, all he could do was pray he didn't get sunburned. and what do you know? his skin hurt to the touch.

shido slouched and walked over to grab his headphones that he'd left on the couch for his nightly jog, and as he walked over, he saw you. your legs were splayed all over the couch with nothing on but a tank top and a pair of his boxers.

he found himself chuckling at your sleepy state, instantly regretting it as your eyes squinted open. "shido?" your voice came out raspier than you'd anticipated it to be, eyes still adjusting to the dimly lit room.

"go back to sleep, i'm going back out to jog, baby." he flicks your forehead and you curse at him under your breath.

you sit up, your body now rid of all your drowsiness after seeing your boyfriend get rid of his tank top. "oh my god," you breathed out. shido turns to look down at you with a puzzled look.

"stay here, please?" you caressed his chiseled stomach as an attempt to coax him into staying, though, your touched prompted him to hiss from the pain of his sunburn.

you then notice what you'd done and pulled back your hand in a flash, apologizing. "baby, i'd stay. but you know i love runnin' in the night—and i had a fuckin' shitty day today." he sighs, ruffling your hair. "i wanna take it out with music and a jog."

you clasped his hands together with yours, slowly standing up—although it didn't help with getting to face level, you looked up at him and locked eyes. "take it out on me, please?" you bit your lip out of embarrassment. "i was waiting here at your place all day, 'm all needy shido. i need you."

his expression turned into something you couldn't read, his eyes looked at you with a blank stare, yet his eyebrows were furrowed. "shido? why won't you—" shido's pierced lips crashed onto yours, his body slouching even more to kiss you comfortably. many people had always criticized shido for getting his lips pierced, but you could confidently say you'd always melted feeling the metal on your lips.

his fingers shuffled throughout your body, ghosting by the places you'd desperately wanted him to touch. you pulled off as he got closer to his boxers you'd wearing, afraid he'd see the mess you'd already let out earlier.

shido's expression looked puzzled, he leaned into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder, "is there something you're hiding from me, cutie?" as you open your mouth to deny the fact, his tongue traces shapes on your ear, nibbling on the lobe every now and then. this draws out a moan from your sealed lips.

your effort to stop him from reaching your panties so soon was to no avail, as his finger tips made their way from groping your ass, to feeling your clothed pussy in a matter of a second.

"oh?" his long and slender fingers start rubbing back and forth at the damp spot on his boxers you wore. "were you touching yourself? it seems like my boxers aren't just wet with your slick."

your eyes stuttered and you averted your gaze away from him, a clear sign you were guilty. he growled and got on his knees to confirm he was right. sliding down your undergarments, he examines your spent pussy with it's traces of your cum.

"guess i was right," he clicked his tongue, looking up at your nervous expression. you felt your heart beat out of your chest when his eyes narrowed at you, knowing you were in for punishment.

you shut your eyes, fully expecting for shido to deny pleasing you for getting too ahead of yourself when you felt a slap on your clit. your eyes shot open out of surprise, feeling your body still recover from the high from earlier.

"you like that, huh? you fuckin' slut." he laughed at you, and you felt yourself clamp your legs shut from the second slap.

shido's eyebrows arch in confusion, he then sighs and bends down to throw you over his shoulder. "you please yourself without me and expect me to not punish you." grunting, he finally gets you over his shoulder, and despite your begging—he walks you over to his bed.

as shido places you on his bed, you start worrying how long you're going to be laying there. he asks you to spread your legs open, and who were you to disobey your boyfriend while he was all frustrated?

you got on your back with your legs spread, head resting on a pillow, arms attempting to hide your facial expression from him.

"count."

"huh?"

"so those two slaps i'd done a couple minutes ago were for nothing?"

you swallowed and nodded your head no slowly, he pets you as if to praise you for telling him what he wanted to hear before he lands another slap.

you moaned out when he slapped your clit a fourth time, already dangerously close to your high since you'd never left your last. shido looked at you intently, waiting for you.

"four.."

shido smirked at you as he picked up the pace on his slaps, egging on your orgasm. "eight.. nine... fuck—shido 'm gonna come!"

he replaced his hand with his mouth, his lips kissing and sucking on your clit. shido's lip rings only added onto the pleasure, the cold metal rings made you shiver. your vision then blurred, hands subconsciously tightening their grip on shido's disheveled hair.

you swore that there was nothing on your mind in that moment but shido, his tongue, and his mouth. and then that's when you felt a void—huh? what happened?

you opened your eyes, you looked at shido whom was now standing, covering his smile with his tanned arm. whining, you kicked at him once, which prompted him to use both arms to put you into a mating press.

"i only want you to come when i'm inside of you," he cooed, admiring your blown out pupils as he stretches your legs. "it's the least you could do for letting yourself come undone with me, right?"

you subconsciously nodded, desperately wanting to come undone at the hands of your boyfriend. he used one arm to keep your legs in place, and used the other to unzip his own pants, his cock springing out of his boxers.

it looked *so* pretty. you'd always been amazed whenever shido had whipped out his dick from his boxers. it curved slightly to the right, it wasn't too long, but it was thick—and a bit veiny you might add. with a flush pink tip.

despite having you at his mercy, he looked up with you to make a silent confirmation you wanted this. after you'd nodded, he lined himself up, and pushed himself in.

it never failed to hurt everytime he slid into you, which always made shido have to wait for you to adjust. even if that mean't gritting his teeth and gripping the sheets as he tried not to pump himself in and out of you just yet.

"m— move, uh!" before you could even finish your sentence, his pace quickly went from zero to a hundred. it had you all jittery, not knowing where to position your hands. that's when they found his back.

"fuck!" his head fell next to yours, the pain of your touch to his sunburnt skin ignited his desire for you even further. he turned his gaze to you, watching your face contort in all sorts of ways from the pleasure.

he whispered in your ear, "such a fuckin' slut, wantin' more after makin' yourself come with yer own fingers.." shido's tongue stuck out to lick and suck at your ear lobe.

your eyes shot open, the degradation caused you to clench around his length, a higher-pitched, long moan leaving shido's lips. anyone could confuse him with a dog in heat, you'd thought.

as shido found the spot that made your body all on edge, you felt the knot in your stomach come undone. you pressed your fingers and it's nails even harder into his back, leaving a bloody mark in it's trail.

"ryu.. ryu, i'm coming!" your breath became heavy, and shido kept thrusting into you, although sloppy, you'd thought he was chasing his own high. he came outside, his come dripping from your stomach onto your pussy. and—oh. wait what?

shido thrusted back inside of you, his breath growing ragged. "shido, 's too much wait!" his pace was sloppy yet deep and sensual, room filled with loud moans from both you and shido.

he loved the feeling of his cock getting sucked deep inside your cunt, but even more than that, he loved the pain he felt when you dug your nails into his skin. and paired with his sunburn? oh god. although he felt overwhelmed by all the pleasure too, he wanted to punish you. even if it mean't coming undone himself.

this went on for maybe two or three more times, til' shido pulled out, his thighs shaking next to yours. he took his arm off of your legs, letting them rest, crouching down next to you to cool off for a minute or too.

"thank you, baby." he sighed out in between breaths. "i feel— i feel better now. i don't feel as frustrated.. anymore."

you weakly smiled, turning your face to him. a way of saying, your welcome. his forehead pressed against yours, landing a short and sweet kiss on your lips.

though both overstimulated, you wished it could've went on longer. not for the pleasure, but just for being in your boyfriend's grasp, at his mercy.

after all, you did love shido ryusei—sunburns and all.

[after-witch]

Horrorfest: This Confession Has Meant Nothing (Yandere Derek Goffard x Reader)

Title: This Confession Has Meant Nothing [Yandere Derek Goffard x Reader]

For Horrorfest request:

I don't have much of an idea beyond Derek as Patrick Bateman style serial killer. You're his final girl/boy. Surviving his spree.  he hates how fascinated he is with you.

Word Count: 748

notes: yandere, mentions of killing, derek wants to (maybe) kill you; reader is a sex worker

You are one, stupid ugly piece of shit. You’re worthless. Gutter trash. So far beneath him that you’re almost not worthy of killing; not worthy of him scuffing his shoes, handcrafted genuine leather that costs more than rent at your shitty apartment for a year. More, maybe. 

You are nothing. Just some bones and a meat suit, just something to bide his time with, something for him to (maybe) fuck and film and when he’s bored enough, dissect. He even tells you his real name (Derek Goffard, and you looked impressed, and you SHOULD BE) because he’s going to kill you so why not? 

You’re just something to discard with the morning trash, the morning paper, maybe his nice shoes too because he can buy a new pair whenever he fucking wants. An inconsequential speck.

And yet.

He can’t stop thinking about you. 

About the way your lip curled up at him when you realized what he’d done to Susie or Cheryl or whatever her name was. Doesn’t matter. A woman he bought for the night after he bought you, and you were pretending to get along so well that for a moment he assumed your first reaction to seeing her bleeding out from the knife sounds in her torso would be to reach out. Grief. Horror. Shock.

But no. Instead, you’d looked at him… straight at him… like you had the fucking right And you sneered. Actually sneered! With this look of hatred in your eyes that told him you thought you were better than him, that he was shit and you were gold.

You really were fucking stupid, weren’t you? 

But then how--and the thought creeps into his brain and he smacks it out viscerally with his hand--did you get away from him? How did you make it out of the condo, into the hallway, down the stairs (ALL those stairs) and out the front door into the night? How hasn’t he found you yet?

Maybe you didn’t have to be smart to survive. Yeah. That made sense. Animals survive in the wild all the time, don’t they? Not all rabbits are eaten by wolves. Some are just fast enough to scurry off into some hole to hide out in, to live another day, to fuck and breed and repeat the cycle until they are either roadkill or fall prey to an eagle or some shit like that.

You were his rabbit. 

But he wasn’t going to let you get away. He couldn’t imagine you getting away, cleaning yourself up, getting out of the city. You’d get some job that pays the rent and meet someone; maybe you two would have kids, and you’d be a grandparent or something ridiculous like that, decades down the line.

No.

That wasn’t what he wanted for you. Not when he’d killed so many others in the past few weeks. Not when he recognized you for what you were: his, in some way. His to kill. His to finish with. 

Yeah, that would be nice. After he killed you, he’d take a break from it for a while. Maybe see if he could get a promotion at his dad’s business. Find someone to get engaged with--appearances, and all that--and pop out a kid. He could always go back to killing if he felt like it.

That’s the way the world works. He was allowed to kill because he was richer and smarter and better looking. You were going to die because you were nothing beneath his (expensive) shoes. 

He just has to find you first. Oh, and when he does… he presses his face against the car window, breath fogging it up. He can just imagine what he’ll do to you. Hurt you. Kill you. Keep you? All three sounded enticing.

His fingers itch, his cock goes hard, just thinking about it.

The street lights are dim in this part of the city, but bright enough for people to make out the faces on the corners, the curve of bodies standing close to the curb. 

If you ran, you might have run right back here; where you ply your trade and get your drugs and maybe have a few people you call friends. It’s where he picked you up the first time, after all.

And he’s got all the time and money in the world to track you down again.

[dreamofbecoming]

more stobin nonsense from your resident trash goblin. feat. shitty harrington parents, lavender marriage, full party found family shenanigans, steddie flirting, steve&will bonding, and a severe lack of dialogue tags

rating: t wc: 5k ao3

“I knew it!”

Steve sighs. Listen, he knew the minute he opened his mouth that this was coming. There was always a zero percent chance Dustin was ever gonna let him get out the whole thing before bursting in with this exact interruption, but that doesn’t make it less annoying. If the little shithead would just let him finish--

"I knew you were perfect together, I can't believe you didn't tell us you were dating! How long have you been a thing? I have money to collect! Can I be your best man? Never mind, obviously I'm gonna be your best man. You so owe me for not telling me sooner! I cannot believe-"

"Henderson!"

"What?"

"We're not together like that."

In fairness, Dustin is not the only one to give them an incredulous look for that one.

"Steve. You literally just announced you and Robin are getting married. What is even the point of pretending you're not in love anymore? What are you still trying to prove? Just admit I was right the whole time!"

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and forces himself to take a deep breath, instead of wringing Dustin's weird little boneless neck. It's not his fault, he reminds himself. They haven't gotten to the second part of the announcement, so his assumptions are natural.

Now, it is Henderson's fault that they haven't managed to say the rest of what they came here to say, so maybe he can keep blaming him after all.

"Do you remember when we sat down and we asked you guys to let us say everything we were gonna say without interrupting?"

"Uh, yeah dude, it was like ten minutes ago. We're not stupid."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe we weren't done saying everything we were gonna say, considering I was halfway through a sentence when you jumped in?"

"I mean, I guess, but like, it's pretty obvious where you're going with this, Steve. You're not a complicated guy, no offense. Now, where did we land on the best man issue?"

Nancy must see the offense very much taken on his face, because before he can open his mouth and say something probably horrifically rude that would feel amazing in the moment and which he would immediately regret, she jumps to his rescue.

"Dustin, you're being very rude. Steve and Robin came here to talk to us, and we promised to listen. Let them finish."

It's nice of her to back Steve up, considering how weird this conversation must be for her. Hopefully it gets less awkward soon.

Henderson grumbles mutinously, but years of dealing with first Mike and then the rest of the little dickheads have left Nancy's control ironclad, and he waves sarcastically for Steve to continue.

This kid is spending too much time with Eddie, the attitude is getting out of hand.

"Right. Thanks, Nance. As I was saying, Robin and I are getting married, yes. But not because we're in love. I mean, I love her, obviously, but as a friend. Only a friend. Or, well, I guess a friend and soon a...friend...wife? Frife? Wend? You guys get it."

"We very much don't." Alright, well, fine, add Max to the shitlist.

He looks over at Robin, hoping for help, but she's stiff as a board and trembling all over.

He doesn't want to be the one to say the words for her. They agreed together to tell everyone the truth, it was her idea even, but the last thing he wants to do is steal that moment from her.

Maybe he can just…talk around it, until she feels up to it. And if not, he’ll just tell them his part of it and call it good.

“We’re getting lavender married.”

Okay, so that’s probably not like. A normal way to say that or whatever. Robin just used that term like fifty times last night, alright? She was really excited about the article she just read about it, something about how it was a thing in, like, olden times or whatever, and now it’s coming back because Reagan is a fucking tool, Steve’s not sure, he was only kind of listening. Regardless, now it’s stuck in his head. Sue him or whatever, geez.

Anyway, he isn’t sure how many people in this room will actually understand what that means, but Nancy’s mouth drops open in a perfect little O the way it only does when she’s genuinely surprised by something, and there’s a tiny gasp from over by the table that he thinks might have come from Will, and Max mutters to herself “Oh shit, that explains so much,” so it’s not none of them, which helps. No pitchforks yet, at least.

Jonathan is eyeing him speculatively, and Argyle is offering him an enthusiastic thumbs up, which is nice.

Unfortunately, the other boys and El are giving him blank, expectant stares, and Erica is eyeing him with both confusion and annoyance, so it looks like he still has some explaining to do.

“What the hell does your color scheme have to do with this? I’m not helping plan the wedding, dude, I don’t care that much.”

Steve mumbles a “Language,” on reflex, but his heart isn’t in it. This is somehow more nerve-wracking than evil Russians.

“Mike, that’s not what it means. Now shut up and listen, or I’ll tell Mom how that red sock ended up in her load of white delicates.”

“Oh come on, she’ll kill me!” When all he gets in return is a single raised eyebrow, he groans and slumps further into his seat, glaring at Steve.

“Right. Okay. So basically, last night, my parents--”

“I’m a lesbian!”

There’s a beat of dead silence, which in this group is more unsettling than just about anything else.

Steve keeps his eyes on Robin, who looks just about as shocked at her own outburst as everyone else in the room. He takes her hand, squeezing gently until she unfreezes a little and looks back over at him. She looks terrified, and it breaks his heart a little.

“You okay, babe?” He keeps his voice low, murmuring just loud enough for her to hear. He knows this moment is the opposite of private, but she needs him to pretend for a second, so that’s what he’s gonna do.

She nods, a little jerkily, but she grips his hand back and intentionally evens out her breathing. She’s so fucking brave. He would burn the world down for Robin Buckley, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

He can’t believe she’s willing to do this for him, but he’s so grateful he feels like he’s choking on it.

“Henderdork will literally never shut up and let you live it down if we do this and he doesn’t know the truth. Not even for a single second for the rest of forever, and I, for one, am not putting up with that shit until death or legal marriage reforms do us part, Dingus.”

It was a solid point last night when they came up with the plan, curled on her bed while she stroked his hair and generously pretended he hadn’t soaked the shoulder of her shirt with his sobs, all his worldly possessions packed into a duffel on her bedroom floor, but he knows her insistence was more about knowing how much he hates lying to the kids than it was about protecting herself from irritating teenagers.

He doesn’t think there’s enough room on the whole planet to hold all the love he feels for her, even if you count the Upside Down and any other weirdo dimensions floating around out there waiting to ruin his day.

“I’m okay, bubba. Don’t let go?” Her hand is shaking in his, but he just squeezes harder.

“Never.” He turns back to the room, eyes hard as he scans the faces of their family for any hostility. He wouldn’t have agreed to this part of the plan if he thought any of them would be a problem, but he’s not taking anything for granted with Robbie’s safety. Not now, not ever. "Everyone's gonna be cool about that, right?"

"Of course we are, right, guys?" From the pained grunt that follows her words, Steve assumes Max has dug her elbow into Mike's ribs.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"I suppose this makes you slightly less lame, Buckley. It's definitely better than when I thought you liked this loser." Wow, okay, thank you Erica.

"Yeah totally! Thanks for trusting us, Robin." Lucas is a sweetheart, he really is. He's also glancing surreptitiously at Will while he nods enthusiastically, who is still staring open-mouthed at Robin with wide, shiny eyes.

"Yes, thank you for trusting us, Robin." Nancy is smiling kindly, but she's got that glint in her eye that Steve knows means she just came up with more questions and is waiting for the right moment to strike. Fair enough, at least she's letting Robs have her moment first.

He finally drags his eyes back to Dustin, who he doesn't really want to admit, even to himself, he's a little worried about. Not that he'll be shitty about it, necessarily, but there's nothing that brings out Henderson's bitchy side like being wrong, and he's been so fucking wrong this entire time. It's bound to upset him.

And maybe Steve will never say this out loud where the other kids might hear, but the truth is that Dustin's opinion matters to him more than just about everyone else's. Dustin was the first person in the whole world who saw Steve, the real Steve, and decided he was worth keeping around. If Henderson can't accept this part of Robin, it means he can't accept this part of Steve, and if that happens...if that happens Steve isn't sure he'll be able to come back from it.

So he's...not worried, okay? Worried is not the right word. Anxious, maybe. Concerned.

Okay fine fuck off he's worried.

Dustin...looks like he's about to cry. Shit.

"Did you think you couldn't trust me?" His voice is so small. Steve doesn't think he's ever heard it so small. It feels wrong. Henderson's voice should fill every room he's in, always. "You didn't have to lie. You could have told me the truth."

Aw, fuck.

"Buddy,--"

"It's not that simple, little man."

Steve whips back around to look at Robin. Are you sure you’re up for this? She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. Yeah, Dingus, this is my mess. Let me clean it up. Put the lance down, White Knight. Well, alright then. He waves for her to continue, ignoring the looks the others always shoot them when they do their silent conversation thing. Not his fault they can’t read each other as well, it’s not like it’s hard.

"Before today, Steve was the only person in the world who knew about me. And honestly, I don't know if I would have told him if we weren't both coming off torture and truth serum. I've worked hard to hide it my whole life, baby Dingus, that's not an easy thing to stop doing. It's scary."

"But we're your friends. We're your family! We saved the world together! You should trust your family, right?"

Aw, jeez. Steve forgets, sometimes, how young they are. They've been through horrific supernatural trauma, but they're still the kind of kids who think life is a story with a happy ending, like their little dragon game.

"Yeah, bud, you should, but it's not always that easy. There can be really serious consequences for telling the wrong person. Like, last night my parents found out I'm bisexual by accident and now I...well. Now I don't have parents anymore." Oof, okay, little blunter than he meant to be, but Robbie's getting anxious again so he has to take the focus back.

There's an eruption of sound, as every voice in the Party starts shouting all at once, turning the Wheeler's basement into Steve's own personal migraine generator.

"Did they kick you out?"

"You're bisexual?!"

"What's bisexual?"

"They can't just do that!"

"Does this mean we have to find somewhere else for Hellfire nights?"

That last one earns Erica several Looks, but she doesn't flinch. "What? I'm just being practical."

He wishes Eddie was here. The gremlins actually listen to him, unlike Steve, on account of as their Hellfire DM, he has leverage they care about to threaten them with. Well, most of them, but it's definitely a help when he's around.

Sadly he and Wayne are at some kind of Munson family reunion down in West Virginia this week, so Steve is gonna have to do this whole spiel over again when he gets back. He and Robin thought about waiting until he got back and the whole Party could be together, but the kids would definitely notice him not living in Loch Nora anymore pretty much immediately. And Steve hates the idea of telling him over the phone, so double coming out/engagement announcement it is.

"Alright, Jesus Christ, enough! One at a goddamn time, you animals."

He looks back at Dustin, who's definitely crying now. "Yeah, buddy, they kicked me out, but I'm okay. I'm staying with the Buckleys for now, and Rob and I have been saving up to move in together soon anyway, so all this did is move up our timeline. I'm safe and I'm fine, okay? I promise."

Dustin plasters himself to Steve's front, squeezing like he's worried Steve is going to shatter into pieces and he can hold him together by sheer force of will. It's very sweet, even if it's crushing his lungs a little.

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me." The words are muffled in Steve's chest, he's not sure anyone else heard him.

"Aw, kid, it's okay. I trust you, alright? Always. You die, I die, remember? I was just...figuring my shit out, that's all."

"Your parents are mouthbreathers." Steve chuckles a little at the mutinous glare on El's face, not pausing his hand where he's stroking Dustin's hair.

"You're not wrong, Supergirl. But it's fine, honestly. They've always been dicks, I've been planning to move out for a long time. They just...gave me the final push, is all." He's definitely leaving out the part where he broke down sobbing in Robbie's bed last night, asking her over and over why he was so broken that his own parents couldn't love him, but the kids don't need to hear that part of the story.

"Does this have something to do with your whirlwind engagement?" There she is, ace reporter Nancy Wheeler. Observant as always.

"Yeah, pretty much. They disinherited me, but they're still legally my next of kin."

"And Dingus has had far too much head trauma for me to trust he's not gonna end up back in the hospital for something at some point, and the last thing we need is Mr. and Mrs. von Child Neglect getting that call. And I was just reading about gay men and women who are marrying each other so they can have someone allowed in to see in them in the hospital, because of the virus, you know? And I thought, hey that's not a half bad idea! We're gonna be living together anyway, and it's not like I'm marrying anyone else, and it'll be good for both of us to have someone who knows about, y'know, monsters and all that jazz, to do our power of attorney stuff, so, voila! Mr. and Mrs. Bucklington!"

"We are not changing our name to Bucklington."

"Well Harringley is worse, so suck it up, buttercup."

"I'm not interested in keeping the Harrington name, Bobs, I'd rather just be a Buckley."

"Aw, bubba, you're gonna make me cry!"

"You should both become Hendersons! Then we'd really be brothers!"

Steve erupts into laughter, the tension effectively broken by Dustin's wide, toothy grin. "What d'ya say, Bobbie? Steve and Robin Henderson?"

"Would we get access to Claudia's lasagna recipe? Because if so, I'm behind this plan one hundred percent.”

"By 'we' you do mean me, right? Because I love you more than life, Bobs, but I'm not letting you anywhere near a casserole dish. I've learned that lesson."

"It was one time!"

"It took me three days to get all the cheese off the ceiling! There's still a stain!"

"Well good! Ceiling grease stains can be the Harrington's problem now, anyway. They deserve it!"

Argyle is nodding sagely from on top of the incredibly deflated bean bag he's sharing with Jonathan. "I do like Bucklington, it makes you sound like a fancy butler. But family is important, brochachos, and so is lasagna. I vote Henderson."

This spurs impassioned arguments from all corners, which Steve is more than happy to relax into the couch cushions and let wash over him.

There's a light, bubbly feeling in his chest. For the first time since his dad walked in unannounced yesterday, interrupting his phone call with Robin at the worst possible moment, the knot of fear and grief in his stomach starts to loosen.

Robin smiles at him, and he grins helplessly back. Who needs parents when he's got a soulmate? They're together, they're safe, they're surrounded by their family. Steve holds Dustin tighter to his side and lets himself feel loved.

He takes advantage of a lull in the Last Name Wars to get out the last of the speech he'd planned. "Anyway, we decided to tell all of you the truth when we came up with this plan last night, because we do trust you and we didn't want to lie to you, and also because we knew you shitheads would never shut up about us being in love if we didn't and that sounded awful."

He laughs delightedly at the chorus of indignant outbursts this gets him before continuing.

"It's really important that you don't tell anyone outside the Party the truth, alright? We're gonna tell Eddie when he gets back, and we might tell Joyce and Hop eventually, but that needs to be our choice to do. You can't do it for us, and you absolutely can't tell anyone else. The whole point of this is to keep us safe by keeping people from finding out the truth, okay?"

El looks vaguely uncomfortable, but not upset. "Will you tell my Dad soon?"

Steve glances at Robbie, who's looking anxious again, and then over at Will. His shoulders are tense, hunched up around his ears, and he's staring intently at the table in front of him.

Steve isn't sure if anyone else knows what he thinks he knows about Will, but he's pretty sure he recognizes the specific flavor of isolation he can see Will struggling with sometimes, and he's definitely sure he recognizes the looks Will shoots at Mike whenever Wheeler isn't looking. Tommy used to look at him like that.

Either way, he knows the kind of fear the kid must be suffering, just like he knows how terrifying today was for Robin. For Steve, the worst case scenario has already happened, so he has a lot less left to lose. He can afford to smooth the way a little, to test the waters and make sure they're safe for everyone else.

It's not that different from his normal role in this group anyway, just a different kind of monster. He's always been good at taking hits so the others don't have to-- this is just another threat to step in front of.

"Tell you what, Ellie, I'll talk to Hop and Joyce this weekend, that way you won't have to keep secrets from him for too long. I'll just tell him about me, though, at first, okay? That way we'll know if it's safe for Robbie." Or anyone else, he doesn't say.

Jonathan hears it, at the very least, and shoots him a look that's equal parts surprised and grateful. Maybe Will has someone else in his corner after all, then.

El nods happily, satisfied with that.

Before anyone else can jump in, there's a clattering on the basement stairs. None of them have time to tense up too badly before the door bursts open and Eddie comes tumbling through it in a flurry of dark curls and frayed denim.

"Fear not, my wayward wastrels, for I have returned from far off lands, bearing tidings and the promise of libations!"

Steve only recognizes, like, four of those words, but seeing Eddie gives him the same happy, fizzy feeling in his gut that it always does these days, so he grins.

"You're back early, Eds, everything ok?"

Eddie blinks at him, then around the room, looking surprised to see it so packed.

"Yeah, my cousin Clarence accidentally broke my MeeMaw's pasture fencing and set all the goats loose in the hills, and if we stuck around we were gonna have to help round them back up, so Wayne and I snuck out early. I was coming to invite the gremlins out for pizza to tell you all about it, but this is more people than I was expecting. Y'all having a family meeting? Without little old moi?"

Steve valiantly suppresses the shiver that the twang in Eddie's voice triggers. Steve's not sure if Eddie notices the way his accent gets stronger when he's been talking to family, but he's had to work very hard to make sure he doesn't notice the way it affects Steve.

Steve has barely tested the flirting waters with Eddie since admitting his crush to Robin, he's definitely not jumping right in with 'It makes me tingly all over when you start talking with a drawl, wanna call me darlin' and see what happens?'

Luckily Bobbie notices his inner struggle and comes to his rescue.

"It was kind of a time sensitive issue- not a life or death one! Or like. Not a monster one, anyway. But shit went down last night and we needed to brief everyone before the geek squad figured out something was funky and came beating down the door. Steve wanted to tell you in person so we were gonna wait til you got back, but here you are!"

Eddie's looking at Robin with an amused smile on his face, one eyebrow raised and his lips quirked in a lopsided grin that is, frankly, unreasonably attractive. "Here I am indeed, my fair Lady of Feathers. So what's the scoop?"

He plops down next to Jonathan and Argyle on the beanbags, nearly sending them all toppling before Argyle hooks both of them around the waists and drags them practically into his lap.

Steve is not seething with jealousy. He's not.

A half a dozen voices chime out all at once.

"Robin's gay!"

"Steve's homeless."

"Robin and Steve are getting married!"

“Purple married.”

“It’s lavender, dummy.”

“Lavender’s a kind of purple!”

"They're gonna be Hendersons!"

"No they aren't, weirdo, they're gonna be Buckleys."

"Bucklington is clearly the superior choice, even if Argyle was right about the butler thing."

“Bucklington my ass, y’all dumb as hell if you think Mom and Dad aren’t gonna try and make him a Sinclair after this.”

"Mama and Papa Harrington didn't like that Stevie boy has double the love to give. Totally bogus. Bi bros for life, man."

"I still call Steve's best man!"

Eddie blinks a little when everyone quiets down, looking vaguely shellshocked. "That was. A lot of information to get in thirty seconds."

And, listen, Steve is like, 97% sure Eddie's cool. More than cool, even. He moves that bandana to the same pocket every time he changes his jeans, no matter what outfit he's wearing. There's no way that's an accident. But if Steve is being totally honest, which he's trying to do more these days, at least inside his own brain, this is maybe not the way he'd have chosen to come out to his crush. It's somehow way more nerve-wracking when he didn't even get to say it himself.

Oh well, it's out there now. It's fine, probably.

Still, there’s a definite feeling of relief when Eddie turns that megawatt grin on him again.

"Man, I wish I'd known there were other queers in Hawkins, I might have listened sooner when Henderson told me how cool you guys were!"

Steve laughs, only a little hysterically. "Dude, if you thought you were the only one, what the hell have you been wearing that hanky for? Who are you hoping will see it?"

It's a little gratifying to see Eddie go flaming tomato red in seconds. "I am not talking about that in mixed company, Steven. There are children here!"

"Ugh, we're literally teenagers."

"Tiny baby infants! If you're so curious, you can ask me again later."

"Promise?" Steve can't stop himself from grinning wolfishly.

Eddie tugs his hair in front of his face to hide, and the frantic little giggle and the quiet "Oh my god," he lets out both sound more than a little strangled. Steve's having the time of his life right now.

"Gross." Ugh, rude. He glares at Robin for ruining his fun. She sticks her tongue out at him.

Before they can devolve into the inevitable slapfight, Nancy cuts in again.

"Alright, unless anyone else has anything to share in private, I think we should take Eddie's suggestion and get something to eat." Good thinking, Nance. "To celebrate the happy couple, of course," she adds with a smirk. Yeah, that makes more sense.

"Onward then, my noble companions, to pizza and to paradise!" Eddie vaults off the beanbag, sending Jonathan and Argyle tumbling. Argyle laughs and accepts Eddie's hand up, while Jonathan just rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

Eddie slings an arm around Robin's shoulders as they head for the basement door. "So, Birdie, what's this I hear about a wedding? I need context."

As the kids go thundering up the stairs, arguing about who gets to drive in which car, Steve lingers. He noticed Will hanging back from the others, and now they're the last ones left, Will still slowly packing up the pens and notebooks he seems to carry around with him everywhere. Jonathan is hovering anxiously in the doorway, so Steve sends him a nod and waves him off. He's got this.

"You ready to go, kid?"

Will fidgets with the zipper on his bag for another few seconds before looking up at Steve through his, frankly tragic, fringe. "I'm sorry your parents suck."

"Yeah, man, me too." Steve shoots him a wry little smile. "It's alright though, sometimes we're better off without them. I've got plenty of family here that love me, I'll survive without Richard and Diane."

Will studies him for a minute. Steve's not sure what he's looking for, but he hopes he finds it.

"That's what Jonathan says about Lonnie." Steve nods, trying not to wince at the memory of the things he spat at Jonathan that day in '83 when everything changed. "I used to think it was my fault he left, but Jonathan says he was just a bastard, and it's better he's gone anyway."

"I didn't know Lonnie," he's careful not to say your dad, "but from what I've heard, Jonathan's probably right. And he's definitely right that it's not your fault."

"Like it's not your fault your parents kicked you out?"

"Yeah, exactly like that. If it was my fault, that would mean I did something wrong. The only thing I did was exist, and be different than they thought I would be. If they can't love the kid they had, then they shouldn't have had a kid at all. That's their problem, not mine. There's nothing wrong with me."

It doesn't matter if he heard all of these things from Robin first, if he's still trying to learn to believe them. Will needs to hear them like they're true, the same way Steve does.

"Are you sure?" Will's voice is trembling now. He's looking at the floor, but Steve can tell there are tears coming. "How can you be sure this is how you're supposed to be? Wouldn't you rather be normal?"

Oh, kid. "I mean, yeah, maybe it would be easier if I only liked girls, but I don't. I tried for a long time to pretend that I did, but it didn't make it true. And yeah, part of me wants to hate myself, because that's what they taught me to think, and I still kinda wish doing that would make them love me, but it won't. But honestly, you wanna know the biggest thing?" Will nods.

"I can't hate that part of myself without hating Robin, and there's no universe where I could hate Robin. Robin's perfect. She's the best person in the world, and she's gay, so being gay can't be bad. It's impossible. So whenever that voice in my head starts saying shitty things to me, I just think about how much I love Robin and tell it to shut up."

There's a beat where Will seems to be absorbing this.

"How did you know it would be safe? To tell us the truth?"

"I didn't."

Will stares at him in shock.

"Not a hundred percent, anyway. I was pretty sure, but it's never a guarantee with stuff like this, you know? But the other option was never telling anyone, and that...it gets tiring, you know? Always having to hide. Always having to check yourself. Lying when people ask the wrong questions. It wears you down. And I've fought monsters with you guys. I've been tortured by spies with you guys. If I can't trust this group to have my back, I can't trust anyone, can I? And I didn't want to live a life of not trusting anyone. I didn't want Bobbie to live a life like that. So, we took a chance. And it paid off, because all of you are the people we thought you were, and we were right to trust you. But it was a leap of faith, dude. It always is."

"What if I'm not ready?" Fucking shit, this kid. He's been through more than any of them, except maybe El, and he's still so goddamn brave. Steve would have crumpled like a tin can in his place.

"Then you're not ready. It's not a test, Will. There's no right or wrong answers. But I will say that every single person out there loves you, and they'll keep loving you no matter what you do. They're not like my parents, or Lonnie. Our friends aren't broken inside the way they are. Their love isn't conditional. You won't chase them away. You couldn't if you tried."

Will lets out a shaky breath, clearly fighting back tears. Steve leans against the table and keeps his head down, offering the kid the illusion of privacy while he pulls himself together. After a few minutes he speaks up again.

"You ready to go, you think?"

Will nods. He goes to walk past Steve to the stairs before hesitating and, to Steve's surprise, wrapping his gangly arms around him in an awkward hug.

"Thanks, Steve," he mumbles into Steve's shoulder.

Steve runs a hand down his back uncertainly. "Anytime, kid."

He keeps his arm around Will's shoulders tentative, but when the kid doesn't shrug him off or move away, he lets it settle more firmly, tugging him closer.

“Come on Baby Byers, let's go get some pizza. You think I can milk the disownment thing to get Eddie to pay for extra toppings?"

Will snorts. "I think Eddie would pay for as many toppings as you want as long as you do that little eyelash thing at him again."

Steve throws his head back and laughs, long and loud from his belly. Yeah, it's gonna be a good night.

my head hurts too much to keep writing this but please know that the pizza parlor engagement party involves plenty of arguing about roles in the wedding party, resulting in MOH erica/best man dustin (scoops troop babeyy), flower girl team lumax (max demanded the role bc her wheelchair means she can carry extra baskets of petals, and lucas will be pushing the chair so her hands are free. he's just excited to be there.) nancy/el bridesmaids and byler groomsmen (mike grumbles and groans but he's secretly thrilled). jonathan does the pictures and it turns out argyle got ordained back in cali as a joke so he officiates. eddie plays crimson and clover for robin’s wedding march. there’s a bit of a kerfuffle when claudia and the sinclairs both try to claim steve as their son, but after someone makes the argument that charles and sue have two kids to carry their name while claudia only has one, they end up hyphenating and becoming the buckley-hendersons. yes, claudia cries. yes, they get the lasagna recipe.

(at the pizza place, eddie asks what his role will be and steve says he doesn't know yet, but he'll save him a dance regardless. eddie has to hide in the bathroom to stop blushing.)

[wilcze-kudly]

Suyin wasn't "coerced" to commit a crime, neither did she want to take herself out of the situation. She wanted to get her friends out of paying for their crimes because she's spoiled and entitled.

She didn't "have" to travel the world, she was sent to family members to take her away from a criminal and endangering environment, and she decided to escape because she's too much of a pick me girl to stay with the so called family "that didn't show her affection". To be honest, you speak of her as some kind of adult avatar-styled Rapunzel, instead of a teenager who deserved to be reprimanded.

She did turn her life around, and kudos to the creators for showing that. No one can say that her story and background is boring by any chance.

She, however, is not the most likeable character out there to a big part of the fandom, but I seriously doubt someone is taking it as seriously as you seem to do. Just chill.

Istg this happens almost everytime I post something mildly touching on the fact that Suyin deserves compassion too. Though you may be the same anon who blew up my inbox a while back so it might just be you.

I've always found the disdain we have for "troubled teens" upsetting because usually, when a teenager "acts out", there's more of a reason behind it that just "ooh they're spoilt or entitled".

[Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal ideation mentions]

Like, I was a very difficult teen back in the day. I argued with my parents, even got into physical altercations, skipped school, ran away from home at night. I was also going through a severe depression, dealing with a shitton of childhood trauma, cutting on the regular and making multiple attempts on my life. Hell, if my parents had brushed me off as "a kid who needs to be disciplined" I probably would've killed myself at 14. It doesn't excuse me for punching my dad in the stomach when he was just trying to stop me from running away into the night but it doesn't mean I didn't deserve help.

[End of Trigger Warning]

These two things can be correct at the same time. Suyin can have done a shitty thing that deserves reprimand and that she needs help that she seemingly had to find on her own. But like, guess which of these two is almost exclusively focused on.

And I mean, it's totally not like the Avatar fandom has a habit of expressing extreme hate towards young girls (especially young girls of colour) making sub optimal choices or just beind "annoying". I've just never seen that before.

Suyin grew up with Toph, who Lin herself has described like this:

Suyin : No, no. My children are a blessing. Lin: Yeah, mom used to say that too, but she never meant it.

Which btw, still an incredibly hillarious thing to say in front of Suyin's children: "Hi kids I'm your aunt Lin and your mother is lying about loving you"

While Suyin has, as a child, expressed doubt that Toph would even care that she's skipping school. And as an adult, she has described her childhood with Lin as "competing for their mother's affection" and still has doubts whether or not her mother is happy with how either of them turned out.

Hell, even though Su and Toph have been said to have made up, Toph still maintains a heavy layer of distance between them, seemingly dissappearing for years at a time!

It's honestly sad how Suyin hugs Toph and puts up statues of her everywhere in Zaofu and yet Toph still just fucked off to the swamp when Opal was probably less then ten and did not contact them.

I mean, sounds like there's not a lot of motherly affection going on there, dude. Idk what to tell ya. We know there were no fathers around either.

And Lin was also a victim of this environment, so I don't really want this to come off as me blaming her for the way she acted towards Su. But Lin is hardly what I would call affectionate.

So of course Suyin would put so much stock in her relationships outside the house. And her friends happened to be fucking criminals fucking hell. And of course Lin, being a kid too did not know how to approach this situation properly, so she inadvertently just pushed Suyin closer to them by insulting them and making her feel defensive.

Because that's what all fucking teens do. The internalise things, they rely on their peers to form their perception of things and they want to be independent. So when someone, especially someone who isn't a parent tries to control them, guess how they'll react? They dig their heels in. Especially a teen like Suyin who has virtually no reason to listen to her older sister other than a vague "I know better than you" type of vibe which really pisses teens off. That's like the time when talking down to them is the worst thing to do.

And fuck off with saying getting arrested and screamed at by your sister in the middle of the road isn't a stressful situation that you wolud wanna get out of. Lin punched a car so hard it dented! (Especially that Lin has already been confirmed to use her status as a police officer against people she has a vendetta against, like when SHE TRIED TO THROW PEMA IN JAIL FOR STEALING HER MANS like how tf did we brush over that)

What I always find interesting in this scene is the front that Su puts on in front of Lin, which slips up a few times, particularly when Lin can't see her expression. Because Suyin is, of course being a fucking brat and taunting Lin, but you can clearly see that she's stressed out.

Suyin also describing the reason she helped her friends as a getaway driver is something I find interesting:

Suyin: I didn't steal anything. I just drove the car. I owed my friends a favor. It's not a big deal.

Of course she's scared and minimising her involvement but the usage of "owing her friends" could very easily imply her not exactly being too hyped about this, as well as her insistence on not stealing anything.

Because the thing about Suyin is that, especially in the flashbacks, we see her only in Lin's PoV. We don't see her relationship with her friends, what led up to the robbery, anything. Which makes sense, because the flashbacks are supposed to be Lin's. But that means we're viewing Su with the inherent bias of Lin, who clearly has an agenda against Su.

Lin clearly blames Suyin for Toph leaving policework, despite us later seeing how burnt out and cynical Toph was about being a cop. Its more likely that Su's arrest was a wake-up call for Toph, but she left due to the buildup of stress and disillusionment and Lin, who has been idolising her mother and her mother's career blamed it on Suyin in her head.

Hell, even they made up, Lin still immediately pivots to accusing Suyin of being involved in the Red Lotus' attack. Despite the attack placing Suyin's life, the lives of her sons and the lives of her guards at risk and Suyin going out of her way to thwart it.

And Suyin's life is just a fucking mess after this point like: betrayal by close friend, daughter kidnapped by terrorists, anarchy in the kingdom, leaders of 2 foreign governments trying to pressure her into subjugating the people in the name of a monarch she doesn't support, betrayal part 2; child boogaloo, the country she lives in being declared a dictatorship, city under literal siege, threat of attack in 24 hours, the fucking Avatar doing fuck all to help, a desperate attempt at assassinating the leader, getting caught and placed in questionably humane restraints, having to watch her daughter be forced to flee, PUBKIC HUMILIATION, the arrest of her non combative son and husbandd, INHUMANE JAIL CELL...

Do I need to go on? Like the moment the Krew came to her gouse her life just started to fucking fall apart its actually kinda hillarious.

And calling Suyin a "pick me" is just... unfounded? Who's she trying to get picked by? Her mom who doesn't love her? Girlie just wanted a family she literally said so in the show, put your listening ears on, babes.

I understand that Suyin isn't the most likeable character to people. I can understand why they dislike her. She can be annoying, hypocritical, rash, the poor structuring of the episodes around her and Lin makes it so she gets unearned favour from the writers etc. People who like Lin and Kuvira, two extremely popular characters in the fandom have an easy villain in their faves' lives if they just tweak Suyin a bit.

But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to dislike her too or that I'm not allowed to post about her in a way that doesn't allign with the fandom's narrative of her. You're not obligated to read it, hun, you can block the #pro suyin beifong tag if it makes you that upset to see me

I want to appreciate parts of Suyin which aren't highlighted by the fandom and I'm allowed to do that. Just because it doesn't fit with your clearly overtly negative opion of the character well, tough luck. And hey, I gladly take the opportunity to talk about Suyin, but I've also made a ridiculous amount of posts around har and have probably addressed almost every single fandom complaint of her at some point so I'm starting to get a little tired of repeating myself lol.

And I'll be the first to admit, my own teenage years probably heavily affect how compassionate I am towards Suyin, particularly in her younger years. But I know how much people hate "troubled teens", how little compassion thet are given.

The narrative that if a misbehaving teenager just gets deisciplined and reprimanded enough they'll stop being "spoilt and entitled" or acting out is wrong and harmful. It hurts tons of teenagers by not getting them the help they need and it would've fucking killed me.

Also hun, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I tend to use hyperbole a lot. I'm a dramatic bitch. Like did you also think I was serious when I said I'd shoot myself if I saw another ad for Amazon's shit lotr wannabe show?

Tbh everytime I get an ask like this I vaguely consider doubling down and commiting to the bit of being the fandom's "Lin Beifong hater". Though I feel like a lot of people wouldn't realise its a bit and think I actually hate her for real lol.

[the-s1lly-corner]

ok so hear me out. what about father!masky hearing that Toby is dating daughter!reader.

A teensy bit of NSFW would be fine, like hearing that Toby stole his precious daughter's V-card. (+ and how Toby ended up taking it but that's just a + if you're feeling generous.)

(MASKY AND READERS RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC AND FAMILY-LIKE!!!!)

Father!Masky reacting to child!readers partner being Toby!

Was really debating on whether or not I wanted to answer this since personally I'm a little iffy on writing romantic stuff with toby but I think. Since its not the center piece (?) Of this request I'll let it slide this time

With that said I will say, I'm not sure if my take on the masky/toby dynamic is accurate to most peoples takes since I havent really. Seen much current fan stuff, havent really interacted with the fandom outside of fanart n stuff since 2015 so UHUH!!

Quick warning first portion of this is the admin rambling about their hcs about masky and toby before getting into the actual reader portion; they havent had the chance to talk about their creepypasta hcs in a LONG time 😭😭

Not touching the virginity thing, though sorry anon

Okay the authors note was getting too long but more on how I view the toby and masky dynamic given how I write both characters in my hc/au!

Toby does still try to piss off masky, i think. Since hes just generally an ass and there isnt much else for him to do..

You see I'm still trying to figure out how I wanna write masky and hoodie, since I do wish to honor their roots from MH and mesh together the source with the creepypasta fandoms take.. still trying to hit a balance.. might save that for another post, though! But I do wish to incorporate tim and brian into this as their own thing in my hc I'm just not sure how... anyways summary of what I was gonna say, before I deleted it; masky and hoodie arent around 100% of the time, only really when they're needed or called for. Hoodie is around more, though

Toby, on the other hand is around as a proxy 100% of the time considering. You know he krilled his shitty dad and set his neighborhood on fire

Basically there aren't many opportunities for these two to interact but when he does toby is probably shoving masky, probably trying to snag his mask, ect ect basically doing anything to find a way to entertain and stimulate himself, and that just so happens to include fucking with his fellow proxies

Masky, at least in my writing, is fairly stoic... or at least he keeps his emotions hard to read and every now and then he can be a little unpredictable. Call it a byproduct of being mentally worn down by slenderman in order to work with him, or something

Holds little to no reaction to Toby's antics, actually the only time theres anything dished back to him is when he tries to make a grab for the mask

VERY protective of his mask

Okay moving onto the actual request; regardless of how you end up being his kid.. whether it be found family or biologically.. he would try to be the very best dad he can be.. bonus points if you're a proxy as well, I think you two would train together

Call it a family business/j

I could joke about masky krilling for you, but.... considering that these are creepypasta characters... I dont think it would be a joke

Only saves that for if someone physically harms you though

Dating wise I dont think he would care..

Until he finds out who

Really?

That asshole?

When you tell him it's very hard to decipher his reaction.. hes just

Still

And the mask isnt helping at all

Watches toby like a hawk. Like if this were genuinely any other person I think masky would do some basic sleuthing to see what kind of person your partner is before backing off... but given that he has a personal history of toby being a nuisance, he's more on the fence

Now do I think he would forbid you from seeing him?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I mean yeah sure, toby makes his job harder.. but has he really done anything that warrants that? Does he even have the right, even as your father?

You know that meme from monsters uni. Where sully is glaring down at mike while they're walking

That's basically masky and toby after he finds out

Not many thoughts here, I think

[ghoastixx]

saw you were looking for Supernatural requests and I was wondering if you could do Castiel with a child reader who’s so picky about what they eat? Like they refuse to eat something that isn’t their comfort food? Please and thank you!

Castiel w/ a picky child GN!reader

notes: As someone who really really likes reading castiel interacting with a child, this makes me really happy. I am going to write Cas in more of the "I'm an angel of the lord." tone instead of the "Good morning!!🥰🌺" tone. But, who knows how it will turn out.

Synopsis above

My inbox is alway open.

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You were a nightmare during meal times, John used to say. Y/n Winchester was the youngest of Sam and Dean. When John died in that hospital, Y/n had only been a child. Now Y/n was older. Almost eleven.

Sam and Dean has raised Y/n, for the most part, so they were more used to things that the kiddo liked and didn't like. Most of that was influenced by shitty gas stations and diners.

Bobby always had a hell of a time getting the kid to eat. Everyone tried their best, they really did.. but it was difficult, and you would often get teased for being "picky." Even if it did hurt your feelings sometimes, you loved these people so you would never say anything about it.

You really liked Castiel for some reason. Your older brothers thought it was a little weird, I mean.. you usually didn't warm up easily to new people. It took at least four days to get you to even talk to another hunter if they had been working with one. But with Castiel? You seemed to just instantly like him. Sam joked it was because he was an angel, and in stories and older media, angels and children go hand in hand. Dean was just glad that you liked someone that wasn't your family.

At this point, with all the moving around and everything the boys had done, it was too dangerous to send you to school, so Sam "homeschooled" you when you had the time, but ever since Cas had showed up, you could be found asking him question after question about everything you were curious about. Castiel answered them, but he was confused. The young Winchester didn't bother him, he was intrigued more than anything.

An important hunt came up, a dangerous hunt. Sam and Dean really did not want you out on this mission. Usually they would dump you on Bobby during a time like this, but they needed Bobby's help on this hunt. They were okay with letting you stay by yourself, but when it came to hunts like this one, they would rather have someone watch you. Blackmail wasn't good. So, being the reasonable men they are, they dumped you on Castiel, who knew nothing about humans.

"Alright Castiel, Y/n can take pretty good care of themselves, just keep an eye on them, alright?"

"I will do the best I can Sam." Castiel responded as you walked into the kitchen.

"Please try and get them to eat something." He added before he left, leaving his sibling and the angel alone.

Castiel walked into the kitchen, keeping good distance from the kid, but watching as they pulled some water out of the fridge.

"Sam told me that I should have you eat something."

"No, we're out of pasta." You murmured, twisting the lid off.

Castiel tilted his head a bit, "Human's are not limited to strictly one food?" He said it sternly, but you could tell it was a question.

"Yeah- I know, but like- it's complicated Cas."

"Well, is there something here that you will eat?" He was going to attempt to negotiate.

"well, my dinner is probably going to be day old chocolate milk and a bag of Funyuns."

"That doesn't sound very appetizing."

"You're an angel-"

"I watch the Winchester's eat all the time." He walked into the kitchen, "I'll attempt to make you something."

"Cas-"

"I'm an angel of the lord, I can make a child some food." He began rummaging through whatever food that the winchesters had in the motel kitchen. He came up with some bread and grape jelly.

"No- I'm not eating that."

"What?"

"I said I don't wanna eat that. I don't like grape. It's yucky."

"Alright, I'll find something else. What about..peanut..butter?"

"No. Dean only likes the thick one and it's too chunky for me. I don't want it."

"Well," castiel looked at the kid, "What do you like to eat?" There was few of what the kid said in the motel, but Castiel managed to find some left over pizza in the back of the fridge. A contender! So, he heated it up and put it on a plate. He gave it to you as you sat down and watched curiously as you picked the pepperoni off. "You don't like that part either?"

"No. But it doesn't ruin it. I can still eat it." Castiel sat down.

"Why do you not like many foods?" You shrugged,

"I just don't." You ate half of it before you stopped. He looked down at it, his brows knitted together.

"Are you not going to eat anymore? Is it not good?" You shook your head.

"I think your brothers would want you to eat it,"

"I know.."

"What would get you to eat it, child?"

"Will you tell me a story?" So castiel did. And eventually you ate your food.

Castiel didn't like the quiet after you went to bed. He was beginning to grow to enjoy your company. That's when the tired boys came back.

Sam immediately went to clean up, Dean approached Cas,

"So, how was booger? Did they eat."

"Yes. I heated up pizza for them. They showed me how to use the microwave."

"Woah, a whole meal? Booger never eats that much for Bobby. Good job Cas."

This confused Castiel, but he never had an issue getting the kid to eat after that.

[vykker]

Oddworld Headcanon 6/?: Vykker Families

I was looking at concept art of the Vykkers, my beloved perfect science boys who have never done anything wrong, when I read this line:

"Headley, the Vykkers' auctioneer, is a rare case among the species. Most Vykkers are consumed by the surgical and pharmaceutical industry, but some, like Headley, work on the fringe of the family business." - The Art of Oddworld Inhabitants, Page 222.

Hearing it described as a "family business" was interesting, but I assumed it was more of a metaphor for their species in general. Not literal. But then, I saw this image:

"Humphrey and Irwin Vykkers knew that together they could bring experimentation to the forefront of modern science, as long as they stuck together."

Wait- is Vykkers a surname?

I think everyone and their dad headcanons Humprey and Irwin as being a vicious married couple. Even when I played MO for the first time as a little kid, I thought Irwin was Humphrey's comically shrill wife. They even flirt at the end of the first cutscene where we meet them, with Irwin calling Humphrey a genius and Humphrey rolling his eyes playfully like he's not loving it. So lets assume these twisted old fruits got Vykker-Married and started a thriving business empire. What does "family" look like to a vykker?

One piece of lore that I've always found hilariously fitting is that a vykker's greatest love is always for themselves. Vykkers are a unisex species and breed via self-insemination, which is often seen in snails, but even occurs in reptiles. I loved the idea of Vykkers being so self-absorbed, they don't even want to breed with other Vykkers. Now, some irl lizards perform what's called pseudocopulation, wherein the ritual of breeding triggers ovulation, but no actual breeding occurs. Not saying vykkers do this. Stop thinking about it. I said stop thinking about it! What I'm saying is, there are examples of animals not requiring another of their species to breed, but still mimicking the ritual of it, either as instincts left over from their non-hermaphroditic ancestors, or for other reasons we haven't confirmed yet.

What I'm saying is, vykkers could have the framework in place to experience romantic feelings even if it's not strictly necessary for their species' survival. Alternatively, two vykkers may pair off just for the societal benefits. I imagine two vykkers who are friends, have the same shitty values, and want to live the same lifestyles might choose to get hitched. Benefits would include a dual income lifestyle, having someone you can rely on to help you, certain legal protections and benefits, someone to manage your estate if you die, and not being lonely at home by yourself.

But also- they can raise their kids together. The vykker parenting style is something I've put a lot of thought into because there's so many interesting and funny possibilities.

First off though- how many kids do vykkers have? I always pictured them as laying a single egg once per lifetime or something. But then I noticed in this official, rendered art... Humphrey has NIPPLES!

He has FOUR nipples. At first, I thought only his bottom pecs had them, but then I saw this concept art, where its clear that vykkers are meant to have four:

Interns don't have nipples. Mudokons don't have nipples. Their chests are completely smooth. From what I can tell, the mudokon, slig, and glukkon queens- who are covered in boobs- are the only other individuals to have them. Maybe it was just added to be a creepy design element? But then again... vykkers ALSO have belly buttons. It does not appear that interns or mudokons have belly buttons, but it's a little hard to tell. Their skin is so texturized, it's possible they do have them and it's just not noticeable.

So why do vykkers have four nipples AND belly buttons?* I hate this line of questioning. I was a lot happier imaging them just laying an egg every once and a while. However, I'm not sure about that now. I think... vykkers might be livebearers. They might have 4 offspring at a time.

*Egg-laying reptiles actually DO have belly buttons but they don't look the same as mammalian belly buttons. It's more of a line. Google "corn snake bellybuttons". Theyre very cute!

Consider the following: imagine if Humphrey and Irwin had kids. Our inventions are doing well, lets get some inheritors going so they can hoard our family wealth and never share it. The two of them would have at LEAST 4 offspring but maybe 8. How do you do science and keep EIGHT babies alive? There's no way either half of this couple is going to stay home to care for them! So they invent Baby Chow. Baby Chow makes babies grow at an extreme rate- don't need to pay the babysitter as long- AND it frees up your arms so you don't have to breastfeed.

Remember when Vykkers Labs was described above as a "family business"? Imagine if Humphrey and Irwin had 4 kids each, then their 8 children got married and each of the 16 vykkers had 4 more baby vykkers.... I failed algebra in high school but:

16 x 4 = 64 vykkers!!! And that's just if three generations of vykkers had one litter each! There could be a LOT more, assuming they can be pregnant more than once, AND assuming we are looking at like, 4 or 5 generations of vykkers at this point, considering how they love to artificially extend their lifespans through surgery and treatments. And how they might just hand their kids off to the nearest intern to serve as a nanny while they immediately get back to work, thus minimizing any repercussions that might stop someone from having a ton of kids.

So when they say Vykkers Labs is a family... I think its literal. I think a lot of the vykkers we see in Munch's Oddysee are direct descendants of Humphrey and Irwin- their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and etcetera- or are outside hires hoping to marry in to their wealthy family business. I think our boys' genetics are alllll over Vykkers Labs, their laboratory that they own, and would never want to share with anyone BUT their clone-offspring.

On a related note: childrearing-wise, I picture vykkers as the worst kind of PTO moms. You know how vykkers can only truly love themselves? Well, since they reproduce asexually, that would mean that each child is a literal clone of their parent. It stands to reason that vykkers would be overly and obnoxiously consumed with making sure their clone-child has the best of everything. Not exactly love, more like control and possessiveness. More like wanting to give them everything you never had as a kid.

Can't you imagine a vykker parent, with that awful shrill voice, shrieking at some poor school counselor because their little Timmy would NEVER lobotomize the class pet, how dare you accuse him of such a thing? Or, how DARE you not let little Timmy join the Dissection Team- I have friends in the Magog Cartel, you know!!! The entitlement level would be off the charts. Every School Board Meeting would end with someone getting stabbed.

I could also see Humphrey and Irwin being like "we will raise our children communally so we never know who made who :)" then immediately getting paternity tests behind the others' back, lol

Anyway what are your thoughts? Writing this made me want to write some horrible vykker OC's who are Humphrey and Irwin's shitty entitled grandchildren.

[the-thieves-gambit]

Stay.

"What is that you want me to say?" Elizabeth’s voice echoed off the walls in the hall as she stood on the end of it looking at Kobe. There he stood with the few belongings that he had brought with him when she asked him to move in.

Ready to leave her.

"I don’t want you to go, but you obviously made up your mind. I don’t know what you want me to say. So tell me. Tell me what it is that you want to hear from me." It was a stupid plead. She already knew what he wanted. The truth. Not the million lies and dodges she gave him or anyone else about her life before this place.

The hurt was evident on his face and she knew, this was the last time. This was the last straw. This was the last goodbye. She had so many done to her in the past that she knew it in her bones. But as he walked out the front door to put his things in his car, she found her feet following after him.

Stepping out into the rain after him, she felt her heart plunge into her stomach as he shoved the bag into the backseat of his car. It was now or never. " Fine! You want to know me? Want to know everything? " Tears welled up in her eyes, hazel eyes already full of grief of what was ending. But there was still a small piece that hoped. Foolishly it hoped.

" The truth is my own mother didn't want me. Gave me up the moment she even knew I existed. Then my dad died when I was eight. My stepmother, the only person I had left put me in a shitty situation. I was abused and hurt and that's where the scar on my shoulder is from. Not from horse riding or falling out of a tree, like I tell people. It was because she shacked up with some guy who hurt me in ways a kid should never be hurt. When I woke up, I was naked and bleeding and being carted away to the hospital. I never saw her again, never bothered to see if I had lived or died. Then I spent years in the system." She was soaked through to the bone now but it didn't matter. He wanted the truth. He would give him that.

" Bounced around from foster home to foster home, and lived with potential parents and families for months before being told that I wasn't wanted and being thrown back into the system in equally shitty abusive situations. When I was 16 I ran. I was going to age out in two years so it didn't matter. Fell in with the wrong people, got a fake id and put myself in situations that I never should've." Was it rain or tears on her face, was she shivering from the cold or from crying?

"That's how I met Charlie. He got me out of a shitty situation. Two kids in shitty situations helping each other through them. That's what he is, my friend. My brother by choice, not blood. We ran scams together. That's how I got the money to go to school and be a librarian. That's how I was able to afford this house. That's how I had the money to pay off your bills. I know you hate me for it but you didn't deserve that burden placed on you. I did it because I care about you, okay. It's the same reason I asked you to move in with me." She was sobbing now, everything pouring out of her just as the rain was pouring out from the heavens. The dam had sprung a leak but the pressure was too great and soon enough the whole thing had collapsed. " But I hate it. I hate that you could leave me like everyone else has. My own mother didn't fucking want me, Kobe. How can I expect anyone else to? That's why I always push you away when you get too close and I'm sorry. I really am. But I'm always waiting for that other shoe to drop, for you to realize whatever it is everyone else has realized that makes me unlovable and leave me too. Something that scares me because I love you."

And there it was. "Kobe, I love you."

[parkhaein]

hi everyone o/ meet haein, your local flop loser very bad no good awful shitty superhero! he works as the bartender at the pool because he can't handle a real job and would rather spend his time rolling around on the ground than do something useful with his powers. i'll leave some actual info about him under the cut but like if you'd like to plot with him

so what's the deal with him? (parental death + emetophobia tw):

his mother was a kickass aeternal named gale who was super popular but she retired to give birth to him (a great shame, many would say). the public kind of hated his dad for it tbh

the moment his dad found out he inherited her powers, he made sure to raise him to be a proper superhero even though his mom wanted him to live a normal life instead

he was just a kid though so he was like of course i want to be a cool crime-fighting superhero!!!

and to his dad's credit, haein did get pretty damn good at controlling his powers, learning from watching old recordings of his mom at work

everything seemed to be going his way, strong powers, good reputation, pretty face, but everything went to shit the year before he was set to become an official aeternal

his mother passed away shielding citizens from an explosion. it was the perfect heroic death for someone like her, everyone said

haein hated that. why did she have to die for something like that? for people like that? someone as invincible and cool as her shouldn't have died at all

his father was devastated, and haein lost his sense of self as the deadline for his induction drew closer and closer

the day comes and he feels like throwing up- he does, actually. all over the floor as the onlookers pick up their jaws just to scream in terror as the villains fired at them. thankfully another aeternal had been with him and he managed to fight them off and save the civilians, but haein's reputation was stained forever

the son that the people's beloved aeternal gale had given up her career for was a fucking loser.

he's promptly removed from the group after that, and after over two years of hiding from the reporters, he seems to have faded into obscurity

his father has gone back to pestering him to not give up on being a hero, but just the thought of it makes him sick now. he joined the collective only to get his dad off his back, and has no intention of progressing this career at all. sucks to suck.

anyways now that you know him, what do you want from him?:

i want to be his friend / you better not recognize him from anything or he'll shut you out forever. you guys probably just chill and hang out together, and if you're cool, he'll even make you fly for a bit. for funsies

i want to be his enemy / you recognize him and refuse to leave him alone. for whatever evil reason, you will not let his past go and want to remind him of it over and over. he's a pretty easygoing guy, but just remember he can shoot air bullets at you

i kinda want him... / ok... good luck! he's pretty friendly and one could even say flirty, but you'll find he's very much closed off to the world once you try to dig deeper. he isn't against the idea of dating, but he'll never be the romantic he paints himself to be

been there done that / oh so you're an ex or ex-hookup-turned-feelings? sorry about him... i can just tell he was inattentive and secretive as hell. more worried about what's for dinner than any anniversaries coming up. you get one free punch on him before i call the cops

i want him to succeed / ....you want that guy as your hero..? are you sure? he starts shaking like a newborn deer the moment you put him in front of danger. that guy is not the one you want protecting your life!! .... you still here..? well your life your decisions! just don't expect him to cooperate

i just want him / talk to him then damn i'm not his (dead) mom!! *laugh track*

[strawbrygashez]

Tyler Durden x Postal 2 Dude

Donuts (Part 1)

Yes I know this is super cringe & random. I’m sorry. I love crossing over different fandoms I’m into soooo yeah. This takes place during the time Tyler leaves the narrator and uhmmm I dunno, just be nice to me please 😭 Sorry for any mistakes and whatnot.

————————————————————————

Time goes by fast when you’re having fun. Well, as much fun as you can have in the small chaotic town known as Paradise, Arizona. The plan had been to keep moving around from town to town, state to state but a certain chance incident happened that put that plan on halt for the time being.

And as Tyler laid there finishing what was left of his ‘post coital’ cigarette, on a mattress that desperately needed to be replaced, he felt the one who put a pause on his plans, move from under the sheets as they laid on top of him. Glancing down, he couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips when he was met with the scowling ginger who was peaking only their head out and squinting their stupidly bright green eyes.

“Ya finally done hiding in your cocoon there sweetheart?” He teased as he plucked the cig out from between his lips before blowing a small puff of smoke right into the other mans face. It barely affected him besides the groan he let out as he lazy fanned the smoke away. “Dickhead.” Was all he muttered before resting his chin back down on Tylers bare chest.

Tylers boy-ish smirk melted into more of a genuine smile as he stared into the others eyes. It really was genuinely insane how vivid of a green shade the mans eyes were to Tyler. Out of all the men and women he has messed around with, none had such captivating eyes and not even in a romantic sense. This guys eyes just had this interesting quality to them where they looked just like gas station puddles when the light hits them a certain way… At least that’s what they reminded Tyler of anyways.

Once he focused fully back on the man and the way he was still squinting, Tyler chuckled before only just seemingly now remember something important to the other. “Oh yeah..You poor baby.” He mockingly coo’ed again as he carefully reached over to grab the discarded pair of sunglasses on the poor excuse of a side table. “Poor Dude can’t go without ‘em for five seconds.”

Dude grumbled something or another under his breath before snatching them out of Tylers hand and sliding them back on. “Yeah, yeah. And you can’t wait even a second for me to get up to turn the lights off before we fuck.”

“Well that’s on you for not turning the damn lights off before we fell asleep.” Tyler pointed out as he put what was left of his cigarette out on the side table. “If you got bad eyes when there’s light then why-”

He was cut off when Dude placed his hand over his mouth. “Shut it. I was tired and you were too.” He lazily muttered.

Under his hand, he felt Tyler grin again before the blondes mouth opened and bit down on his pointer finger, a bit too hard to be considered ‘playful’.

Dude let out a loud “OW!” before quickly pulling his hand away and rubbing his finger off onto the bed sheet to he the spit off. “Motherfucker…”

Dude had to have been one of the most worth while people he’d been around in quite a while. Not only was he witty, oddly charming, and pleasantly ‘weird’, he also could just tell Dude was at ‘rock bottom’ and perhaps been so for a while. Dude was the perfect personification of all Tyler had ever preached about from self destruction to not letting your things own you. Hell, he was doing even better than him in that regard. Instead of living in a house, Dude owned a little run down shitty trailer home and all he really had outside of that was some dog that was out running around named ‘Champ’.

Another thing about Dude he found interesting was the whole ‘Postal Dude’ name. Tyler was pretty sure even the worst parents in the world wouldn’t have picked a name like that out for their kid. So he’d come to the conclusion that Dude also decided not to let a name ‘own him’.

The more he thought about Dude, the more he thought about how if something were to happen to himself, he’d have no problem at all passing ownership of ‘Fight Club’ along to Dude. Dude would have to fight….a certain someone for that position but he didn’t want to think of that ‘certain someone’ right now. Maybe, hypothetically, it would be easier to let him in on Project Mayhem. Honestly he wouldn’t have been surprised if Dude had already been in on Project Mayhem. The first thing he’d seen Dude do was something basically torn straight out of a page of Tylers book. And what did he do specifically? What happened at their chance meeting?

Well, while Tyler had been trying to get a hold of someone on one of the phones right outside some gas station, he watched as this weirdo, fully grown mallgoth dressed man walk out of the gas station with a box full of donuts, walk around back (passing Tyler), poorly hide himself behind a bush, unzip his pants, and piss onto said donuts. This all of course before he zipped his pants back up and tossed one of them at a nearby cop.

Once the cop stopped, the pisser quickly turned around before they could tell he’d thrown it and to Tyler’s surprise.. The cop then proceeded to pick up the ground donut, eat it, and then violently vomit.

Of course Tyler had to introduce himself to this odd specimen and since then, he’d somewhat glued himself to Dudes hip and helped him with whatever daily tasks Dude had planned and what turned from just being what was supposed to be a three day stop, turned into about three weeks. Three weeks he’d spent staying with Dude in his little trailer home. What was even more surprising than that though was the fact they’d only had sex one other time before today.. and Tyler was usually the of guy to participate in ‘marathon sex’. The only reason why he assumed it ended up playing out like this this time was because Dude was just one of those people who had more to offer than a quick fuck to Tyler. He had his own unique opinions about life, morals, and just wasn’t someone you’d meet to often. Nothing usually captivated Tyler more when it comes to people like him.

~

As he was currently thinking of the fact they’ve only gotten down and dirty one other time, he realized something. “Yknow, I hardly ever fuck gingers. Especially ginger guys.” Tyler spoke as he slid his fingers into the others hair.

He couldn’t tell for sure but it looked like Dude closed his eyes at the contact. “Hmm… Am I supposed to feel honored by that fact?” Dude asked with a hint of sarcasm. It was kinda hard to tell sometimes, he spoke mostly in a monotone voice. Tyler answered anyways, “Yknow it baby”, followed by a slight tug of his hair, to which Dude whined. Not in a particularly pleased tone, one more out of annoyance. “Agh. Stop that.”

“I thought you liked-”

“Being manhandled. Yes. Just not right after you just fucked me to near death.”

Tyler rolled his eyes but rubbed the spot he’d tugged his hair from. “Lame. Must take you a while to get it back up, huh?”

Dude ignored what he just asked for now and opted just to now lay the side of his head against him. Seeing that Dude wasn’t as defensive as other people Tyler knew, he just chuckled again as he continued to play with his hair.

Tyler hadn’t been much of the type to cuddle but for some reason, he didn’t mind that much since it was Dude. Maybe it was because he could tell Dude was a loner. Tyler always found himself enjoying messing with the loner types anyways. That or despite the fact that he loved that Dude got into trouble and mischief almost every day, he knew deep down that a break every once in a while was good and to be honest..Dude wasn’t too bad on the eyes. He somehow looked really pathetic but also rugged and dangerous at the same time. It excited him.

~

It had been quiet for a while as Tyler pondered different things involving Dude until the ginger finally broke the silence. It almost made Tyler jump since he was sure he’d fell asleep.

“How much longer are you staying?”

“Huh?”

Dude let out a yawn before moving around a bit to look up at him while still on top. “How much longer are you sticking around for?”

Tyler was silent a moment before raising a brow while grinning. “Why? Want me out of your hair already?”

“No I was just wondering since I’m uh- running low on food ‘n shit. Plus I thought you said you were traveling around. I don’t know why anyone would wanna stay more than a day in this shit hole. Unless you’ve been going out and doing stuff or-”

“Have you seen me go out without you since we met dumbass?”

Dude frowned slightly at the name calling. “Well- no but I doubt you’re sticking around for me so..”

All Tyler could do in response was roll his eyes and push Dude off of him so he could sit up and stretch finally. Dude didn’t seem that offended though as he just ran a hand over his face, still groggy.

“-sounded like such a girl….” Tyler mumbled as he popped his back.

Dude frowned again, glaring at him. “What was that?” He asked. “Nothing hun.” Tyler replied shaking his head with a smile before he turned his head to look over at the alarm clock. “It’s still pretty early. Wanna go grab breakfast somewhere?” He asked the man laying next to him who still looked one minute away from falling asleep. “Mmmmgh..fineee. Just give me a couple more minutes to get up.”

[got-to-love-a-badboy]

Request - Your story for sinking Billy Hargrove  is amazing do you mind like doing a one shot of Billy finding out that y/n is prego [Billy, Billy like mean Billy finds out]

You’re shitting me!

Billy Hargrove x y/n

'Friday night!' You thought to yourself, which meant one thing, party at the lake, hook up with Billy Hargrove and getting absolutely wasted. You and Billy had been hooking up for a few months now, not too serious, well not at school anyway, he would come around your house some nights, pick you up to go for a drive when his dad had been an ass hole.

At school was a different story, he would wink at you and because the two of you hung out in the same crowd you were always together but nobody would know that the two of you were sleeping together, except Lisa, your best friend.

It kind of hurt you because you loved Billy more than you would tell him and way more than he knew, deep down you hoped he cared more but the doubt always stopped you asking.

You looked forward to the lake parties the second you heard someone mention it, you had been feeling run down lately with all the studying, late nights with Billy and cheer practice, so you thought a party was just what the doctor ordered.

As you was getting ready for the party a sudden wave of nausea came over you, you had to bolt from your vanity to the bathroom where you threw up all your stomach contents, "damn cafeteria food!" You told yourself before returning to the vanity still unable to shake off the sick feeling.

Finally once your make up and hair had been done you chose your favourite dress, a tight fitting hot pink body con dress with your black kitten heals, you really had to squeeze yourself into the dress, fitting extra tight on the stomach and breast area, thinking nothing of it you adjusted the girls in your bra and headed downstairs as Billy would be picking up in 10 mins.

Once you see Billy's Camaro pull up outside you head out of the door shouting goodnight to your parents. You step inside the Camaro and see Billy with his signature look, hair curled to perfection, shirt open just the right amount and his jeans tight enough to stop his balls working.

"You look good y/n", he told you very monotone, he was never one to give compliments or be soppy but this was him trying, "aww thanks Billy, you look hot yourself, I wish I felt as good as I look, I threw up when I was getting ready, that shitty food at school I'm not eating it again" you moan to him, "y/n you better not throw up, I'm not kidding I will let you walk home" again very monotone, he was not kidding.

The two of you made conversation on the drive to the lake, as soon as you arrived Billy started taking beer out of the trunk of his Camaro, you headed off to find Lisa.

Not long after setting off you found her on a bench with a few people, "y/n! Hey girl, I'm glad you made it, you aren't looking too fresh though are you ok?" She asked you, "yeah I'm fine I think I ate something bad at school, Billy has driven me here so don't think his driving helped" she laughed at your reply.

Your girl group met up with Billy and the boys as the night went on, you had stopped drinking around an hour ago  as you felt sick again and right now you had your head on Billy's shoulder while he laughed and joked with the group, all of a sudden you shot up and ran behind a tree to again throw up.

Billy looked at you a little worried from the park bench he was on, Lisa ran over to you to help out.

After you had finished the two of you walked over to your crowd of friends, "can anyone give y/n a lift home I think she is really sick", they remained silent for a minute before Billy put his drink down and said "fine Il take her home but y/n I mean if you throw up in my car and your walking the rest of the way sick or not", you couldn't be bothered entertaining his need for drama so you just replied "ok Billy".

He managed to get you home without been sick, you quickly left the car but not before Billy said "il see you at school".

The morning rolled around and you felt no better so you stayed in bed, you did this for a few days.

Finally Lisa showed up at your house wondering where you were, you let her in and the two of you sat on the couch watching tv, you began filling her in on your bug, "ugh Lisa is has been horrible, constantly being sick, I haven't eaten anything even the thought of food makes me want to throw up, actually are you wearing a new perfume because I'm sorry but it's making me feel the same way", Lisa looked at you shocked by your harsh comment, "ok I'm going to let that slide, don't panic ok but you know my brothers girlfriend just had her baby like 3 months ago" you just nodded in response, "well remember when they were living at my house and I would tell you what she was like at the start", your eyes shot open wide, you knew what she was getting at, she just nodded at you, "what if you aren't sick y/n, what if this is morning sickness".

You began pacing around the room, "I can't be, no, no way, I'm going to college next year!, I'm not, obviously I'm not pregnant!.... Am I? Oh god, what if I am, Billy will kill me, my mom and dad will disown me!", Lisa ran up to you and pulled you into a hug, "nothing is going to happen like that ok, just breathe, I'm going to the store and getting a test, I will be back in 10 minutes ok, let's not panic until we know huh", before you knew it she had left.

The two of you paced your bedroom floor, you with a test in your hand waiting the 10 intense minutes it stated on the box.

Finally the colour appeared, "what does 2 lines mean Lisa?", your friend looked at the instructions in her hand and Simply said, "I'm sorry Y/N".

Your first reaction was to run, so you did, "I have to go", and with that you ran, you didn't know where you was headed until you arrived at 4819 cherry lane, you looked up at the house in shock that you managed to get here, Billy's car was on the drive but his dads wasn't.

You walked up the rickety old steps, once you reached the door you gave a timid knock before Max answered, "hey Max, Billy home?" She just moved aside and said "bedroom, left at the bottom", you simply gave her a nod, you had been here many times before unbeknown to her.

You gave a quiet knock on the door only to hear Billy shout back "go away Maxine!", "uh it's me Billy, y/n".

Billy soon came to answer the door, "what are you doing here? Where have you been I haven't  seen you all week, your not still sick are you" he asked, unsure of how to answer all the questions thrown at you, you decided to try explain, "kind of but that's why I'm here Billy I need to speak to you", he went back in the bedroom and sat on the bed, "ok so first of all I want to apologise, I am so so sorry Billy, I didn't want this to be the case and I don't like it as much as you won't", Billy looked at you exremely confused, you decided to just start.

"Ok Billy yeah iv been sick, well not so much sick, I'm ..... fuck, ..... Billy I... we are...., ugh....." you broke down crying, "y/n tell me" he said abruptly, you felt like the Penny had dropped, he just needed you to say it.

"I'm pregnant Billy", it was out. He just got up and walked over to his mirror with his head down for what felt like an eternity, you decided to go up behind him, you looked at his face in the mirror, the vein on his head was out indicating he was angry, "Billy talk to me, please.", you didn't get a response from him although he did look up and look you in the eyes through the mirror.

"This was an accident Billy, we aren't ready for this.... But we can do this".

He flipped, shooting around to look directly at you, "are you fucking kidding me y/n, 'we can do this' what sort of bull shit answer is that!, how can we do this!, you're going to college in a few months, I'm living here with this duche bag!, we're not even dating!, some causal hook up this turned out to he huh", Billy really hurt you with what he was saying but you had known him long enough to know he didn't mean a lot of what he said in anger, "yeah you're right this will change plans for me, and no we're not dating because some ass hole hasn't asked me out, he just wants to keep hooking up with anyone he feels like", you stood with your hands on your hips waiting for a response but he just stood there mouth open at your reaction, nobody spoke back to him like that, "oh you lost for words Billy? Well I have some for you, we can do this, you know why I believe we can, because I love you Billy Hargrove, I don't expect you to love me back I'm not stupid but I WILL be doing this with or without you, I'm going to leave now because I have given you your choices, you can either decide what we are and what you want to do about the child you have created with me or you can live your life in this shit hole with your father, hating every minute of your time here, you know as much as I do that you are only comfortable when you are with me, il be at home. Hopefuly il see you soon Billy....."

With that you left the Hargrove house.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Vriska Serket

Page 491-496

JOHN: vriska!!!

VRISKA: Well well well, looks like 8ingo let out early!

JOHN: oh man, i found you just in time! i need you to come back with me, and–

JOHN: wait, how are you already free?

JOHN: and why are you covered in leafs

VRISKA: Leaves.

JOHN: weren't you supposed to be in the "clutches" of jane, or something?

VRISKA: John... do you really think I would need YOU to 8ust me out of some rinky dink operation like that?

VRISKA: Escaping some cushy human prison is gru8's play to me. They didn't even try to torture us!

VRISKA: Even my protégé managed to free herself of this sad excuse for a facility.

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: wait, rose's kid was here with you?

VRISKA: That's what I said! Try and keep up, cryptkeeper.

JOHN: ok, well, if you would stop shaking your head and look at me you'd know i am rolling my eyes so hard right now.

JOHN: anyway!!

JOHN: where do i begin! uhh... ok, so roxy has this secret lair that's for some reason hidden underneath our old bed, the world is gonna fall apart... umm what else... oh! there's this thingy called "the Plot Point"--

VRISKA: Yeah, I know.

JOHN: you know?

VRISKA: Yes!!!!!!!! I Know!!!!!!!!

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: what else do you already know? :o

VRISKA: John! Focus! I can't have you holding me 8ack just 8ecause you're slow and old now!

JOHN: aw ):

VRISKA: Ease up, Eg8ert.

JOHN: ok, ok, fine.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: wait, hold on. back up. vrissy is gone??

VRISKA: You are really getting caught up in the minutiae aren't you?

JOHN: please don't tell me you guys were trying to escape through a tunnel crossing a water pipe and she sacrificed herself by sealing the pipe closed from the outside, giving you the chance to escape?

VRISKA: What the hell are you talking a8out????????

VRISKA: No, you know what, don't answer that.

JOHN: its from a show!

VRISKA: John, she's a Vriska. She can handle herself! I'm sure she can take anything this fake-ass timeline can throw at her!

JOHN: what?

JOHN: fake? what do you mean?

VRISKA: This universe! Haha! It's a fake! Fakey fake fake.

JOHN: you can say fake as many times as you want, i still won't know what you mean!

VRISKA: Pleeeeeeeease don't tell me none of you have noticed!

VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads!

VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????

JOHN: i mean

JOHN: i don't really get it either, but i had this long talk with roxy, and that feels relevant to this?

VRISKA: Yuck, don't even want to think a8out that whole mess.

VRISKA: What were you two even thinking with that, 8y the way? What was setting sail on that dingy schooner of a relationship ever going to accomplish?

JOHN: don't call my marriage a dingy schooner! it was a completely reasonably sized ship!

JOHN: we had our reasons!

JOHN: i am pretty sure!

VRISKA: Yeah, you sound super sure a8out all of this.

VRISKA: Making up pro8lems to have pro8lems!

VRISKA: So lame.

JOHN: it does sound... kind of bad.

JOHN: but that doesn't mean it's fake!

VRISKA: Come oooooooon!

VRISKA: Do you honestly think I spent all that time commanding a kickass ghost army to not know a haplessly doomed little world when I see one?

VRISKA: I can practically smell it on you!

JOHN: hey, not this again!

JOHN: i smell completely normal!

JOHN: my odor is well within "real john" standards thank you very much.

VRISKA: This is exactly what I'm talking a8out. No8ody real would say that.

VRISKA: You're like a sadder, less interesting version of a guy I kind of liked talking to. When was the last time you did........ anything?

JOHN: i get around. i've been talking to people. i just talked to a new guy on the way.

VRISKA: Snore!

VRISKA: What happened to the guy that punched me in the face?

JOHN: that guy is right here, he's still me!

JOHN: ok, wait, that makes me sound way too proud of myself.

VRISKA: It was like the 8est thing you've ever done!

JOHN: it was not! you're just weird!!!

JOHN: anyway what i am saying is, this is just how it's been for a while?

VRISKA: Surely you can see that's a pro8lem? 8e serious.

JOHN: i am serious! and don't call me shirley.

VRISKA: Ugh.

JOHN: (hehe.)

JOHN: it is true though, everything did feel pretty... pointless for a long time. and it would bother me SO MUCH!

JOHN: when i was living by myself i would consider where to go next. except there was no "next." nothing was worth trying for anymore.

JOHN: but harry is. he's real!

VRISKA: ::::/

VRISKA: As real as a guy can get, stuck here.

JOHN: what, like he could be magically more real???

JOHN: load him up in some silly circus cannon and blast him out of the mirror verse!

JOHN: hahahahaha

JOHN: actually you might think this is kind of funny!

JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea-

VRISKA: SNOOOOOOOORE!

VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut.

JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y-

JOHN: wait, WHAT!!!

JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?!

VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time!

VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!

JOHN: hey, that's not fair!

VRISKA: Last one there is a rotten egggggggg(8ert)! >::::)

[har-rison-s]

your good will: 38

family meeting

a/n: hiii, a big milestone chapter finally here. i hope i get to finishing this story sooner. i have less than 3 weeks left in my home country, then i'm moving away and i kinda wanna incorporate all those feelings into this story, yk? like method acting, only method writing :D happy reading!

masterlist

series masterlist

stranger things masterlist

previous part   next part

word count: 5.3k

characters in this chapter: maggie byers (oc), will byers, joyce byers, jonathan byers, el / jane hopper

warnings: angst, comfort, i suck at endings

gif credit goes to owner!

Maggie is sure she's only seen her mother smoke this many cigarettes when Will went missing. Well, alright, the whole year between November 1983 and November 1984 was a good year for Camel cigarette sales in Hawkins because of Joyce. Surely she's not as anxious now as she was then, this - telling your kids they're moving away from their hometown - is a lot less stressful than having a missing kid is. But her hands are steady, so that's a good sign, at least. 

Sitting beside her mom at the table, Maggie can feel how much her mood differs from the rest of the kids. Jonathan is a little antsy because of the job search, Will and Eleven are just waiting for Joyce to tell them whatever it is she brought them together for, they're a little confused. Maggie's just impatient to get this over and done with already.

“Okay, guys, here goes,” Joyce finally says, making everyone straighten their backs for the millionth time this morning. It's been a while since Joyce sat them all down to tell them the news, there have been many attempts to say it nice and easy, “I–”

“Is this about the house?” Jonathan asks, raising his head from its usual low hanging point. Everyone looks to him. “I saw an unpublished flier in the ads room while I was still working at the Post.” 

Maggie didn't know that Joyce had already marketed the house, she looks at her mom. Joyce sighs and takes another puff from her cigarette. She has been found out. “Well, that's an easy way to start this,” she says and huffs, “yes, I put the house up for sale. Our house.” She says and looks her kids over, Maggie included, so that there's no suspicion of her knowing before the rest of them find out. It's not exactly good to hide something like that from the rest of your family. 

There's no reaction from the kids yet, only blank stares and raised eyebrows. Except for Jonathan's furrowed brow. Maggie scratches the back of her head. No one says anything. Joyce takes that as a sign to continue.

“I've been… thinking about it since last year,” she admits, “since we got that thing out of Will.” Joyce says and looks at her youngest. Will hugs an arm around himself. “How so many shitty things have happened in this house,” she continues. The man in the wall with no face, Will going missing at home. Fights with Lonnie. Billy Hargrove and Steve having a fight, smashing up some kitchen cutlery in their way. A demogorgon actually being in this house, “so many shitty things have happened to us here, especially in the last few years.” Joyce shakes her head. “I just… I just think we need a fresh start. Somewhere new, where nobody knows us, where nothing like this happens. And of course, things can happen to you anywhere, because not in a million years would I have expected for things like what we've been through to happen in a small town like this! It's crazy.” She takes a drag of her cigarette and shakes her head.

“But…” Will gets the first word in, “but we grew up here. I have friends here, I–I… this is my home.” He tells his mom, looking right at her. The glassy look in his eyes and the slight tremble of his lips make Maggie's heart ache. “Our home,” Will adds, searching his mother's eyes for understanding. And there's plenty of it there, it's just that determination wins over it, “mom.” He whispers the word. Tears are bound to overflow any second. 

Joyce nods in response without saying a word. The tension in the room could be cut with an axe. Maggie looks everyone over, she sees confusion on everyone's faces, disagreement in her brothers' eyes. El has a deeply furrowed brow, Jonathan's sporting a less serious one. “I know,” Joyce finally says in a quieter voice, “I know. It's my home, too. I watched you guys grow up here.” She breathes a deep sigh. “Everything, and I mean everything has happened to us here.” Joyce shakes her head. “Living in a new place would be… refreshing, I don't know. A restart option.”

“Mom, it's not like our current lives have stopped for us,” Jonathan argues back, “all three of us still have school, and El should go to school, too, right?” He looks at the others for back-up. Maggie and Will shrug. “Maggie and me have relationships here, you know. It's not like life's stopped for all of us just because it's stopped for you.” Maggie raises her eyebrows at this statement.

He's not wrong, but he could have framed it differently. Nicer, less mean. Joyce looks at him, aghast. “Jonathan…” she whispers, “I just want things to be normal again. I want us to live a normal life.”

Jonathan grins in a not-amused way and bites back a sinister chuckle. “Mom, I'm sorry, but that's just… never happening,” he tells her with a shake of his head, “ever. The very reason you want us to move in the first place is not normal. Interdimensional monsters and mad scientists. It's not something you can just run away from and forget.” That's also true. “Will and El still have nightmares. They're still tied to everything, even if something like that never happens again.”

“He's right, mom,” Maggie says with a nod. Joyce feels a little betrayed by the only person she'd expected to take her side in this, even though they've had their arguments over this exact topic before. 

“It's not something we can get away from,” Will adds on, “me and El…” he looks at the girl, “we can't just forget it.”

“Yeah, but it will be totally different from here,” Joyce argues back, “there's places and things here that remind you of everything that's happened to you, but there's not gonna be any to where we move!” She explains. Will and Jonathan huff, nearly in unison. “It will be… moving on. For all of us.”

“Where are we going, exactly?” Maggie asks the question she hopes is neutral to ease the tension a little bit. Her mom turns her head to look at her. 

“I'd really love to move to Maine,” Joyce says and lights another cigarette, “but it's actually Owens' call. He'll know where the best place for us is.” She takes a drag from the new cigarette and looks the kids over. Silent, but tense. “Bob had a house in Maine, his parents' house. But we'll have to see. Owens is visiting today or tomorrow, don't know exactly.”

Maggie sighs. Will sleazes back into his chair. “So that's it,” he says, “we're just moving because you decided. We have no say in it.”

Joyce looks at her youngest. “I'm not looking to argue with any of you. This is a decision I've made that's best for all of us.” Joyce glances at El, who hasn't said a single word yet. “Owens suggested it, too. For El's safety from the government and everything.” She shrugs. 

“I think it will be safe,” El speaks up finally, a gentle nod swaying her head in agreement to Joyce, “the new place. Fresh start.” She looks at Joyce, and the woman squeezes her hand, shooting El a quick smile. Thanks for the support.

“And how soon will we be leaving?” Maggie asks in a near whisper, dreading the answer. If mom has talked this over with Owens, it means there's been more concrete talk or where and when. Joyce shrugs.

“The next few months,” she guesses, “but it's hard to tell now. It can't be right away, because that would be too suspicious. Would attract eyes we don't want on us.” Joyce sighs. “No later than October, I bet.” She looks her kids over again. Will rolls his eyes, Maggie looks at her fidgeting hands in her lap. She can tell no one except herself is happy with this news. “I promise it will be good for us, guys. Yes, also hard, but when have things ever been easy for us?” She means this for her flesh and blood more, though she knows El can more than agree with her on that. “You can get as mad at me as you want, but it's not going to change anything. Until you know stuff better than me, I know what's best for you, okay? And you bet your butts I'm gonna act on it.” She tells everyone. Will shakes his head again, disapproving of all of this completely. Classic teenager rebellion. Maggie and Jonathan are hardly teenagers anymore, but they're on the same stand as Will. “I just wanna…” Joyce sighs, exasperated, “I just wanna move on. Not linger where everything that's happened to us is all around us, right here, in every inch of this town. It's weighing me down, and can't be healthy for you guys, either.”

Maggie sighs. She knows there's no changing mom's mind, but she still disapproves of this decision. She'd rather stay here with Steve, work and finish school, than move to a completely strange place that she'll once again have trouble fitting into. She hardly fit into Hawkins, and her brothers hardly fit, too. The last year and a half haven't been helping with that, either. “Yeah, well, running away isn't exactly moving on, mom,” Jonathan finally says and leaves the kitchen with quick pace. Now Joyce sighs and hides her face in her hands. She's tried her best to explain herself and make the situation better for everyone, but evidently, it's not working. And she hoped Jonathan would have a more mature response to this decision. She expected better from her first child, but she doesn't realize how this makes him feel, not really.

It's different for Joyce here than it is for her kids. All three of them still have school to finish in the next few years, and leaving in October means they'd be changing schools in the middle of the semester, which messes with their heads. Everything that's happened to them over the last two years already throws their focus off in school, and now a big move wouldn't exactly help, either. All that Joyce would lose leaving here is a job, and she can easily find another one in the place they move to. Changing jobs isn't as disorienting as changing schools.

Will has friends here that he's grown up with since kindergarten. He's known them all his life. Jonathan is with Nancy, and Maggie is with Steve. Joyce lost Bob last year, and Hopper this year. The few friends she has here aren't that close friends with her, really, they're not real friends. Hopper was a real friend. She's not exactly sure what Murray could classify as, and he doesn't live in Hawkins, anyway. Joyce doesn't have as much here to leave as her kids do. 

She doesn't realize that, because she's lost everything she could lose already, except her children. She's also forgot how defensive teenagers can be in their reactions and feelings, she's forgot how it feels to be a teenager. While going through tough times, friends and other forms of relationships are what ground a person, what can help them get through those times. And a person often gets attached to anything that helps. Joyce has lost those kinds of people, but her kids still have them. She can't just pretend they're not there and make her kids forget about them. 

Jonathan leaves the house, disrupting the tense silence with slamming the door shut. Everyone hears him powering up his car and leaving in less than a minute. Joyce really hoped he'd take the news better than he did. “All right, I have to get to work,” Joyce says, getting up from the kitchen table with her pack of cigarettes in hand. She kisses Maggie's forehead, and walks over to Will to do the same, but there's some reluctance from her son at first. It saddens her, but she guesses she deserves that. Making Will's decisions for him has never really been productive. She squeezes his shoulder just a little tighter than usual, “have a good day, guys,” Joyce embraces El before leaving the kitchen, “I'll see you later.” She says quietly, grabbing her keys and then leaving through the front door like Jonathan did a few minutes ago, though quieter than he did.

Will sighs once mom has left and shakes his head. “I really don't wanna leave,” he says and leans onto the kitchen table, arms crossed under his chin, “I have… everything here.” Maggie nods. El sits in silence, just listening to the Byers siblings. She understands them, and she understands Joyce, and agrees with her more. But she understands it can be troubling to have such big changes one after the other in their lives, she understands the meaning of this place to Maggie, Will and Jonathan. 

“Me too,” Maggie says quietly and offers her brother a quick half-smile. She leans on the table as well, one hand under her chin and the other resting on Will's arm, offering a comforting touch, “remember when Owens came by recently?” She asks her brother, and he nods, intrigued. “Well, I heard mom talking to him about adoption papers for El,” Maggie looks at the younger girl with a smile, “you will legally be our sister.” She tells her. 

The small news make El smile from ear to ear, a smile only Max had the honor to see recently. She nearly sheds a tear, but only nearly. Maggie and Will look at her with big smiles. “Big sister,” El says to Maggie, and she nods, chuckling quietly afterwards. 

“Come here,” Maggie urges the younger girl, stretching an arm out to her, and Eleven listens, coming to sit in Maggie's lap, both girls embracing each other, “two sisters with two brothers.” Maggie says, looking at Will, who is now holding her hand on the table. “I really don't wanna leave home, either,” Maggie says in a deep breath, “but staying here can't be safe for El. I mean, there were FBI agents crawling in Hawkins last year, thank God hopper hid El from the rest of us.” She admits. “Otherwise we'd all be interrogated or something, and not in pretty ways.” 

El nods. “And the bad men,” she says. Maggie agrees with a nudge of her head. Even though the lab has been empty since winter, she's had doubts whether they're really gone. Gone forever.

“That's true,” Will says, seemingly having no other choice but to agree with them, “I don't think you could really go to school here,” he tells El, “too many people have seen you somehow.” Eleven nods, knowing that. Too many people. Too much exposure. Rumors and theories would start to spread, leading to news and investigations. Will sighs again. “Mom's probably right.” He says in defeat. Maggie chuckles. “And she would never let half of us stay here and the other half to move away, she'd never allow that.”

Maggie shakes her head. “Never in a million years,” she agrees. “I can’t split up my family” echoes in her mind, “that would be us splitting up, and she would never let that happen.”

“Yeah,” Will breathes quietly, defeat in the air between them again, “I guess she's… right. I don't think she understands how we're feeling about this.” He says and huffs, his eyes switching between El and Maggie. His sister nods and tucks her head under El's chin, the two of them embracing closer. 

“Jonathan could have said it nicer, but he was right. She doesn't have much left here, you know. No Bob, no Hopper.” Maggie says quietly. “I think he was kinda her last tie to this place. Home.” Her last chance at having a normal life. “And she's right in that… so much has happened to us here. This place just reeks of all the… trauma that's happened to us.” Maggie sighs. “I guess she can't take it anymore. I don't blame her. And she wants you guys to get better.”

Will nods, thinking how wise his sister always is. If she played D&D, she'd have to take his mantel and be Maggie the Wise. Sometimes, like this moment for example, he's overcome with how thankful he is to have someone like her. The closest women in his life - his mom and sister - are both smart, strong, always give the right advice, have kind hearts and are forgiving (though that's not always healthy for them), and are just little miracles that someone in creation dealt Will to have and cherish. And he does cherish them.

The Byers siblings sit in silence, El taking in what the siblings-by-blood are saying and feeling, seeing from their point of view in this situation. Will lays on the table, arms crossed under his head, thinking about this big change in their lives. He's had a couple of those already, and none of them have exactly been 100% pleasant. Maybe this move will be at least 90% better than it will be for the worst. Will hopes so. He's so tired of receiving bad news, tired of bad things happening to him and his family.

Maggie's pondering about what house Owens will be offering them, and if they really can put the move off until October. That's a good amount of time to fit in anything she wants to do until they're gone. Her thoughts travel to their plan for the day, and she realizes they have none. Maybe Owens coming by, but Maggie pegs him for a morning type of person, so he'll probably be here tomorrow. She doesn't wanna bother Steve again - though, of course, she knows he wouldn't call that bothering and would be happy to see her at any time of day - and she's wanted to bring the younger siblings together, anyway. 

“You guys wanna rent a movie, maybe?” Maggie suggests to the younger ones, catching their attention. “We could make popcorn or buy candy and watch something fun.”

“You don't have any plans for the day?” Will asks, and Maggie shakes her head with a gentle smile on her lips, looking at her brother. “Not even with Steeeeeve?” He turns his head at Maggie playfully and says Steve's name in a sing-song voice that sounds more like a whine, not a celebratory, romantic mention. Maggie chuckles, and even El cracks a smile, loving the dynamic between Will and his sister. 

“No, not even with Schteve,” Maggie tells Will and pushes at his shoulder a bit, teasing him back in her own way. Will smiles and nods, “what would you guys wanna watch?”

“Whatever,” Will says with a shrug and leans back in his chair, “what do you like, El?” He looks at his step-sister-to-be. El rests her head atop Maggie's and lets out a long sigh.

“Something funny,” she says.

“Maybe let's just go to the video store and we'll see what's there, huh? Whatever catches your eye,” Maggie suggests to El, looking up at her, and the younger girl nods. Maggie checks with Will with a glance, and Will agrees with a nod, too, “okay, let's change and go. We'll take our bikes.” She says and El gets off her lap as if on cue. “Wait, El, do you know how to ride a bike?” She asks. 

El looks a little puzzled. She's used to moving objects, not using them really. She thinks how hard can it be? But then gets anxious. She's less sure of herself now that she's out of her powers. She hasn't really tried practicing in the last few days, and Max said to give it time, but it hasn't left her mind. Can she do anything at all if she doesn't have her powers? Maggie notices her growing nervous, and shakes her head with an assuring smile. 

“It's okay, we can teach you. You can sit on the back of my bike today,” Maggie tells her, and El nods with a small smile on her lips. She's so glad there's no rush and no pressure. She's used to getting that from people around her so much that it's become a permanent feeling of pressure and expectations. El is glad the Byers are different from the people she's used to being around.

She enjoys that Will asks her personal questions without it being like an interrogation, or an interview. She likes that she can feel he asks her stuff and shares his own thoughts because he wants to know about her, not because he wants something from her. Like if she likes scary movies - which she doesn't, well only ghost movies and thrillers, because the ones with paranormal stuff and monsters remind her too much of the Lab, and of everyone's perception of her. A monster. Or if she likes any sort of music, which she does - Jim Croce reminds her of Hopper and good memories, and Madonna reminds her of Max and good memories with her. 

El doesn't know it yet, but the Byers - especially Maggie and Will - bring her such a feeling of normalcy, a reassuring feeling of being a person rather than a subject, and in a family, sibling kind-of way. They're her friends, but also more than that. Max is her friend, like a sister. Maggie is, too. But Mike was a friend, and then a boyfriend. And now… she doesn't really know what he is. But with these people, who are as close to her as Mike is, it feels kind of easier, with less expectations. 

There's no sense of doing anything wrong in their eyes, El feels like she could never do wrong in their house and that she's not under any pressure. In expressing feelings and thoughts in the Byers house there is no hesitation, and no fear. Maggie and the others, but Maggie especially, has made her feel so safe and secure. None of them really expect anything from her in any sense, and that eases El by a lot. They're really family to her. They've become that in a short time, though El knows it's gonna last forever. At least she hopes so. She has a good feeling about this.

And what if they are leaving their home? El understands that can be tough - Hawkins has been her home for the last almost-two years, yet she never really felt like she belonged, or had a right to live here. She can see and will see later how hard it is to leave one's home. Somewhere only you know, a place where you've grown up and had shaping experiences, earned friends and more. Where you took your first steps, said your first words, had your first kiss, screwed up something for the first time, were scared for the first time. 

But at least they'll be doing it all together. None of them will be alone, like Will was in the Upside Down, like El wandering the woods after escaping the Lab, like Joyce believing Will was still alive and doing everything she could to prove it, like Jonathan dealing with his brother's disappearance in the same time as being bullied at school and by his father, like Maggie dealing with Hopper and his daughter's death, and its toll on the poor man. The Byers and El are going to experience moving to a different town, different house all together. 

It makes El feel like she finally belongs somewhere. Like she has a safety pillow to fall onto. Like she has a home.

She used to watch movies with Hopper at their cabin all the time, and tv shows, too. But El’s never been to a place where you can rent videotapes for movies or shows, so Family Video is like another world for her. She’s sure Hopper had some tapes, too, but he was much more of a television guy, she didn’t really get an offer for him to watch a rented movie or anything. 

Family Video is deserted, as the rest of the town is - they’ve lost almost half the population to the Mind-Flayer, so no wonder. But the less people, the more comfortable El feels. Maggie lets her roam the store while she and Will look for one or two fun movies to rent. For now they’ve got Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, they want to find an extra movie just in case it gets boring for either of the three of them.

“Need any recommendations?” That sly voice Maggie could recognise anywhere speaks up from their left. She quickly glances at looming Keith at the end of the aisle, and notices he has that strange smirk of his that tells you he’s up to mischief. She rolls her eyes when she turns her head back to the tapes, and Will holds back a snort.

“No, thanks, we’re just browsing,” Maggie responds as she usually would to anyone else asking. She hopes Keith will take the hint, but she knows him better than that. She doesn’t feel particularly comfortable in his presence, he’s always been creepy and even stalker-ish - both when he was still in school and now, after he’s graduated for more than a year.

“You know, I’ve noticed you coming in here a few times already,” Keith continues the conversation and comes a little closer, while Maggie and Will move further away, nearly in tandem, so the distance between them and Keith would remain the same while moving around, “you like movies a lot, huh?” 

Maggie huffs, “I sure do,” she replies flatly and finally finds what she was hoping to. Footloose, 1984, “let’s take this one.” She tells Will, holding the tape up, and Will nods, a smile stretching across his features. 

“Perfect, I’d forgot about it.” He says and admires the simple poster on the tape’s cover. “This will be fun.” He tells his sister, and she nods. 

“Go get El, and I’ll pay for these,” Maggie says, and Will follows suit. Ah, crap, now she has to pass Keith and also talk to him while she rents the two tapes. She makes her way into the parallel aisle to Keith’s, and holds the two desired tapes up in her hand. Keith nods and quickly makes his way to the cash register, beating Maggie to it first, “I’ll probably return them on Thursday.” She tells him.

“No problem at all,” Keith says and types whatever it is he needs to type into the store’s computer, “I’ll put it in until next Monday, the 22nd.” Maggie nods. Keith makes calculations on a piece of paper, presses buttons into the cash register and gives Maggie a sleazy smile. “That will be twelve bucks.” Maggie raises her eyebrows. “Gave ya a little discount there.”

Maggie chuckles weakly. “I appreciate that, but you didn’t have to,” she says, but pulls out the exact money and lays it on the counter. Now this is getting more awkward than it was before.

“Just come by some more,” Keith urges, taking the money from her, and Maggie gives him an attempt of a smile, “and, by the way, we’re hiring. The fire and everything lost us a couple employees. Plus, we could hang out. Maybe rent a movie ourselves.” He gives Maggie a receipt. Now she’s properly creeped out by him.

“I’ll decline that offer.” Maggie sighs. “I’m with Steve, for your information,” she reminds him, collecting the receipt and putting the tapes in her tote bag. Keith’s face falls to disappointment, Maggie gives El and Will, who are approaching the desk, an awkward smile, “but I’ll think about the job offer. Do I have to hand in my resume or something to come by for an interview?” She braces her tote bag over her shoulder.

“You we’ll take without a resume, just come in some day and I’ll teach ya everything,” Keith answers, and sends Maggie a hint - the disappointment on his face now seeming like only a fleeting feeling, as he proves to still be super bad at taking a hint. Maggie fights back the urge to roll her eyes and just simply nods instead, “enjoy the movies.”

“Thanks,” Maggie says and finally turns her back to Keith, walking with her siblings out of the store. Will gives Keith a good-bye wave as they slip through the door, and laughs as soon as they’re out of there, “Jesus Christ.” Maggie groans under her breath so her general disagreement to Keith as a person wouldn’t look as obvious through the Family Video window. Her grumble makes Will laugh more. 

“He is so weird,” he says finally, beginning to explain the context of the situation to Eleven, who feels pretty lost in it, “in every way possible.” 

“How have you noticed that?” Maggie inquires. Will shrugs.

“He’s always been kind of a bully to us, he uses the weirdest insults,” he starts counting off, “and he’s been asking Mike for a date with Nancy, and me for a date with you, since we started coming to the Arcade.” Will shakes his head.

Maggie huffs. “He really is creepy, I had kinda forgot about him,” she says, “in school he was weird, weirder than me, and now… He offered me a job here, said I don’t need to have a resume, even asked me out. Jesus…”

“He must be into you,” Will says with a chuckle, and the face his sister gives as a reaction has the chuckle expanding into genuine laughter, “better not tell Steve.”

Now is Maggie’s turn to laugh. “I tell Steve everything, and this wouldn’t bother him,” she says, knowing Steve isn’t one to be intimidated by a guy like Keith, “well, maybe the case of me getting hit on by a creepy dude can bother him, but he won’t get jealous, if that’s what you mean.” He did get jealous of Jonathan pretty fast, but that was a different case.

“Alright, alright,” Will raises his hands up in defense. El comes closer to the siblings.

“What does “getting hit on” mean?” She asks them and glances between the two.

“It’s when someone’s interested in you and they’re trying to ask you on a date or something,” Maggie says, “it’s a little more aggressive than flirting, but mostly they’re the same thing.” She looks at El, and the younger girl nods. She could see the Family Video guy was making Maggie feel uncomfortable. “Steve and Robin could work there, though, now that Scoops is destroyed.”

“And the rest of the mall,” Will says with a sigh, “you could work there, too. Maybe if you and Steve both get jobs there, Keith will take the hint and lay off you.” He suggests.

“Huh,” Maggie says, crossing her arms over her chest as the three of them cross the street, “that’s a good idea. Yeah, maybe I could work there. Save up some money for moving.”

“Yeah,” Will breathes with a heavy air between them that has suddenly breezed in. Maggie didn’t mean to change the topic of conversation to the least comfortable of them all, she knows how her brother feels about it all. She has her own complicated feelings, too. She hugs him close and kisses the top of his head. He gives his sister a faint smile. 

They get to their bikes and hop back on, El sitting on the so-called trunk of Maggie’s bike and holding her tote bag for the ride. She takes in the look of deserted Hawkins, the toll of the Mind Flayer’s terror games on the town really coming into view for her as they bike home. Some trees have lost their leaves because of the constant heat, making the center of the town look a bit like a town in the middle of the desert, reminding El of a western she once watched on TV. Hopper would have fit right in, the cowboy-dressing cop that he was. This town really suited him.

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[one-abuse-survivor]

i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.

but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )

and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/

Hi there, nonnie.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.

Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.

You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.

And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.

It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️