#so still the cloud it hangs over us and we're alone but some day one day we'll come home.

[everysongineverykey]

shoutout to brian may for constantly coming through with all the Inexpressibly Fucking Melancholy songs we could ever need. long away '39 all dead all dead some day one day leaving home ain't easy... hell even his demos. listen to you know you belong to me and water and tell me you don't feel like ben affleck on bench with cigarette dot png. every band needs one member who is just so sad All the time and Will make it the entire discography's problem and i am so serious

[lale-txt]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 (𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) ❦ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫

♫ boygenius - we're in love

I can't imagine you without // The same smile in your eyes // There is something about you // That I will always recognize

word count: 2.1k

⭅ back to m.list

The day you meet the love of your life, it’s pouring. 

Heavy gray clouds hang upon the sky, hiding whatever bit was left of the autumn sun. It’s quiet in the shop with the exception of Jiji purring on the counter next to you and an old vinyl playing softly somewhere at the other end of the shop, in the corner with the heavy armchairs that usually invite you to lounge and take a rest in them.

Ever since you unlocked the doors this morning, not a single visitor has dropped by, and you get it, you really do. You wouldn’t want to step outside in this weather either–which now reminds you that you forgot your laundry in the backyard before the rain came down. Nothing new.

With a heavy sigh you put down the necklace you’ve been working on all morning. It is delicate and golden–or rather, it used to be golden before time took its toll on the beautiful piece. The clasp is broken as well but you’re determined to kindle the entire thing so it could be worn again, adorning someone’s neck just like it did a century ago. It’s what you’re good at. Fixing things others have abandoned, cradling it in your palms and listening to the stories they have to tell. 

There’s a million stories stored in the walls of your shop, and even the shop itself had a story of its own, loved and preserved by women of generations before you. It’s your turn now. 

If someone would ask you if you can get rich by selling and restoring antiques, you’d laugh out loud. When you inherited the building from your grandmother last year, all your savings went into breathing new life into the shop and the two apartments above it. A new name, fresh color to the window frames, peeling off layers of wallpapers, questionable and never-ending DIY projects… you’ve been through all stages of grief within these walls. 

All of it, you did alone. It’s fine, you tell yourself. You found your purpose, chose this life of solitude over anything else. You have Jiji, and you have the regulars dropping by, some who remember the shop from when your grandmother still ran it. There’s the book club meeting once a month, and the literature students who spend hours browsing the dusty bookshelves filled with an endless number of novels, often older than them and with notes from the past scribbled on these yellowed pages.

It’s not like you’re lonely; it’s just that some nights, when you lie in bed, staring at the night sky through the open roof window, you wonder what it would feel like to be held, to be adored, to be handled as delicately like the broken pieces finding its way over your threshold. There’s this quiet ache in your chest that just won’t go away.

Maybe it’s a burden, you think. Being surrounded by evidence that love was there once. Maybe it’s a blessing, too. Being the one to preserve all of this, to not let these stories be forgotten.

The ancient doorbell chimes and snaps you out of your thoughts. You put the broken necklace aside, out of reach for Jiji who also wakes with new life at the sound of a visitor arriving. He stretches and yawns, ears perking up and sharp yellow eyes seeing him before you do. 

“Hi, I’m here for the vacant apartment?” 

He’s drenched. Head to toe, dripping wet. He stands in the doorframe, probably not wanting to step inside, considering how cramped the aisles are and the small puddle forming at his feet. One of his hand clutches around one of the flyers you hung up at the local supermarket and other small businesses nearby, like the pottery shop down the street and the bar a few blocks away. The internet wasn’t really for you, and so you relied on the oldschool way to promote the apartment for rent upstairs. 

It’s hard not to stare. Long black strands sticking to his forehead, the white shirt–now seethrough–clinging to his chest, tucked into a pair of suit pants. The broad shoulders and the even broader smile. The warmth he radiates.

It’s as if he brought a new dawn. 

You realize you should probably say something instead of just slow-blinking at him, but you’re a little too stunned to do so. Jiji jumps down from the counter and trots towards the stranger with his tail up in the air, rubbing against his legs like the natural charmer he is. If only you had a crumb of whatever this cat had going on for him, you’d be lucky. 

“Sorry, did I get the wrong address? It said ‘The Heirloom’ but maybe I’m mistaken and–”

“No, no. You’re good. I hung these up.” 

You point at the paper in his hand and a small sense of relief washes over his face, followed by another smile. Why is he so good at smiling, you wonder. You didn’t know this was a talent someone could have. Smiling. You walk around the counter towards him, almost tripping over the carpet edge as you do, but you manage to steady yourself on one of the antique drawers. 

“Do you wanna see it? It’s right upstairs, just–I mean, should I get you a towel or something first? I’m afraid you’ll catch a cold like that.” 

He laughs and something inside of you flutters. Oh, no.

“I’d love to see it and I guess I could also need a towel, yes. Came here by bike and just… got a little caught up in the rain,” he replies and when you wave him inside, he goes and shuts the door behind him. It all feels strangely intimate all of sudden. You get your keys and lock the shop door, turning the sign in the window over from ‘open’ to ‘closed’. It’s not like anyone would drop by in this weather, but you didn’t feel good leaving the door unlocked while you’re upstairs, showing him the apartment. 

When you turn around again, he’s taken a few more steps inside, looking around with wonder and Jiji now purring in his arm. Towel, you remind yourself. Focus, girl. Focus. It’s almost ridiculous how he makes your attention span shatter. 

You peel your gaze away from him towards the backyard, where your freshly washed towels are still hung up on the clothesline. Ah, well. Change of plans then. 

“Wait here for a second, I’ll get you something to dry off,” you say, pausing when you realize you haven’t asked his name yet. It must be written all over your face.

“Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsuro.” He smiles again and holds out a hand for you, balancing Jiji on the other. You reach out and take it, trying not to think about how warm and calloused his hand is, or how big it is compared to yours, or how his fingers brushed over the inside of your wrists, or how they lingered longer than a regular handshake, or how you wouldn’t mind holding this particular hand a bit longer, or how touch starved this makes you, or–

“I’ll be right back,” you announce, peeling yourself away from him before your heart decides to do something utterly stupid. 

Shortly after you appear again from a dimly lit corner of the store, a bundle of various fabrics in your hands. Meanwhile, Kuroo and Jiji apparently invented a new game that involves catching spiderwebs in high up and hidden corners of the store, with Kuroo holding the cat up Lion King style and Jiji absolutely destroying the forbidden snacks in places he usually can’t reach. You can’t help but laugh at the scene you just walked into and Kuroo gives you a sheepish smile when he turns around towards you again. 

“Jiji already got you wrapped around his little paws, I see,” you hum and you both exchange what you were holding, the cat for the fabric. You nod towards the fitting room in the back of the shop. “Got you some hammam cloth to dry off and a change of clothes… I hope I guessed your size right and you won’t mind if they smell a bit, uhm. Unique. Let’s go with unique. I promise they’re in a good condition, fixed them up myself when I got them.” 

For a moment, Kuroo seems like he wants to protest. Not because you’re overstepping, but because he’s not used to such kindness. He opens his mouth and closes it again, his smile and the tiny wrinkles around his eyes softening. He looks down at the bundle of clothes and runs a hand over them, feeling the fabric. You briefly wonder how tender it must feel, being caressed like this by him. 

“Alright. Thank you,” he mutters and disappears behind the curtain. You go and rummage around somewhere else in the shop in a poor attempt to try calming your fluttering heart.

A few minutes later Kuroo finds you again, his hair still a little damp but not as bad as when he walked in. The clothes you picked out for him fit like a glove and you silently curse yourself. Maybe you should’ve gone for something more oversized because this–this was distracting. A thick white linen shirt and dark woolen slacks, held up by a leather belt. They fit him like a glove, as if he wore them in a previous life.

You clear your throat and show him where to hang up his damp clothes (over the railing that leads upstairs) and then guide him to the vacant apartment one floor above.

It’s an old house, and therefore the apartment is old and full of nooks and crannies as well. The wooden floor creaks a little with every step and the door to the kitchen always gets a bit jammed, but it has the potential to be a home to someone who embraces these small flaws rather than getting annoyed over them. The apartment is not completely empty, you’ve stored a few pieces of furniture up there; the old cabinet that was too big for the shop but too beautiful to get rid of, a small desk from the 19th century that you restored, a kitchen table that looks similar to one your grandmother had in hers, as well a bundle of firewood next to the fireplace that was still intact. 

“I quit my job today,” Kuroo says in passing as he pokes along the apartment, his eyes drinking in everything. You watch him, leaning in the doorframe with your arms crossed in front of your chest, letting out a small laugh. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to say that kind of thing during an apartment viewing,” you reply. 

It’s not like you care much. You’re not renting out this apartment to make a profit or to get rich; you put it up because in your imagination it’s nice to fill this building with new life again, to hear footsteps other than yours in the morning, and to be able to knock at someone’s door, asking for sugar or to share a newspaper. 

Maybe you really are very lonely. 

You watch Kuroo walk through every room, and you think how right it feels to have him here. It’s as if this place begs for him; like it waited patiently to welcome him with warm and open arms. Paperthin walls waiting to be adorned with his memories, the old clawfoot bathtub soon to be put to use again, the antiquated kitchen range about to be stirred to new life. All the small things that make a home just that–home.

Kuroo looks back at you and it’s as if his gaze carefully peels you apart, layer by layer, till your soul is bare in front of him. You don’t dare to avert your eyes. 

“When are you moving in?”, you ask. Not: Are you interested? Or, I have some other applicants for it, can I call you back in a few days? 

It’s not like you have other applicants to begin with; everyone your age longs for the big city, the hectic buzz of it, the iridescent lights and the whirlwind of emotions it brings. They don’t want to move to the outskirts of it, where time stands still, where love is preserved in brick walls built by people long before you were born. 

This is a place where love can unfold and linger even after the lovers aren’t any longer; where it’s cradled by gentle hands, hands that care, hands that remember.

Hands like Kuroo’s and yours.

Love, you have to cling to it. You have to hold onto it tightly, pressing it close to your chest and let its light consume you. Leave a carve in your heart and these old door frames, to show that you were here, that you have loved once. 

“Tomorrow, if that’s okay.” 

a/n: this was supposed to be 500 words idk what happened. thought of Kuroo and blackedo out, what else is new. anyway happy kuroocember everyone!! i can already tell that this will be one of my favorite stories to write ahhh

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[inquisitornocturn]

⊱─ 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕤𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟: 𝕔𝕙. 𝟞 - 𝕖𝕟𝕧𝕪 ─⊰

➺ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘:Ascended Astarion/f!reader

➺ 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕤: no y/n is used, rating - E, jealousy, arguing, asphyxiation, bondage, breast play, dubcon, underwear as a gag, smut, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, teasing, PiV, praise kink, vampire bites, caught while fucking, creampie.

➺ 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: you're skilled, driven and most importantly - ambitious. but even as someone in your position, a trained assassin and a leader of your own Guild, you still lend yourself to jobs that are of importance. even if those jobs sometimes mean attending parties. tonight - it's a masquerade and you're bored out of your mind, until the man who hired you to protect him leaves you alone, at the mercy of a stranger who suddenly took a keen interest in you.

➺ 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 6,407

𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: and we're getting close to the end! what a ride so far! i loved writing this chapter because writing jealousy and envy is always a lot of fun for me, but i digress! enjoy ♡~

➺ 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: [link]

Upon your return you didn’t have a chance to send Astarion a message of any kind because the day after you came back the Duke himself demanded you accompany him to a celebratory ball. It appears one of his generals performed well in battle while you were away and begrudgingly you agreed. It would not do you well to scorn the ruler of Baldur’s Gate.

But as you are preparing for the ball, finding your finest dress and making sure that it’s clean and ironed, you wonder if you really have no time to send a message or if you simply don’t want to.

The answer comes simple – you don’t want to.

Not because you regret what happened in this very house two weeks ago before you left on a assassination mission to kill Princess, as you code-named her for secrecy, but because the thought of him turning you into one of his spawn haunts you.

He didn’t tell you that he abandoned the idea. No, he said nothing about that at all. And that’s something you cannot ignore.

While you dress and doll yourself up, you keep thinking about it, about the idea of being his like this and you realize that you really don’t want to be his thrall. That you don’t want to be his to command whenever he wishes. It’s already hard to assert yourself without that and how he cast Dominate on you proved exactly that without a shadow of doubt. It hangs heavily over you like a dark cloud, threatening to erupt in rain at any moment.

You know that before you see him next – you need to think, a lot. You need to figure out a way to give yourself what you want without giving Astarion what you are sure he will ultimately seek: your eternity.

When you finish preparing by hiding some smaller daggers on your person, you hear a carriage and a sound of horse hooves coming closer. You suspected that the Duke will send someone to pick you up to ensure that you show up. You find the man extremely predictable if not slightly paranoid. You don’t have an issue with that, you rub elbows with paranoid men every day.

The trip to the city center doesn’t take too long but you use that time to keep pondering upon the conflict in your mind and heart. Yes, you have to really and truly admit to yourself – you like Astarion. And it stretches beyond just carnal desire or the thrill of danger. You don’t even know why, you can’t answer this, what it is that exactly draws you to him like a moth to the flame, you just hope that the flame won’t consume you. And as you watch houses and people pass by the carriage window you feel a knot of dread in your stomach – you’re playing a very dangerous game with a man that holds unforeseen power in his hands.

Is risking your life really worth it? For something that could be just a fleeting fancy for either of you? And yet you realize that it’s too late for this already. While the carriage navigates the streets and begins slowing as it approaches a massive mansion in the middle of the city, you understand with a sinking feeling that you should’ve been honest with yourself and had this ‘conversation’ with your inner self before Astarion showed up at your house. But you didn’t know then that you will agree to… what exactly did you agree to? Another tryst? No, it didn’t feel like this sort of transient proposal from him. Not a relationship either, surely, too early for that, all you two did so far was fuck and shout at each other, a proper pissing contest between two very prideful people. Then what? You have no answer to that and have no time to think about this further as the carriage stops at last and the door opens, revealing the Duke in his best ensemble, offering a hand to you with a smile.

“Good evening.” he greets you before you take his hand and your skirts as you climb out of the carriage.

“Good evening to you too, Duke Sanolin.” you smile, easily slipping into your role of a perfectly pleasant, well-mannered noble woman. You don’t hate the role, but your words feel empty and shallow even when you greet the Duke.

“I take the road here was pleasant? City planners made sure to increase quality of the roads leading out of the city. Merchants have easier and swifter time traveling this way.” Duke starts boasting and you nearly recoil when you notice him offering you his elbow, but you just squeeze out a smile on your face and hook your arm exactly how he wishes.

You don’t reply because he doesn’t need you to speak. You are here to stay close to him as he mingles with patriars. You are here to look pretty while you discretely protect his life. You are here to smile and to nod and to be vigilant. Oh how you loathe these jobs.

However, when Duke Sanolin leads you inside and servants greet you both, offering wine and small snacks on silver platters, you scan the guests and see nobody you should keep an eye out on. There are some dangerous nobles among the masses of them in Baldur’s Gate. Some of them have relations with other Guilds, some are simply unhinged and unpredictable, some have grievances and revenge on their minds, but tonight you see no familiar faces, faces that you have memorized for safety. This makes your shoulders relax. Sure, someone undesirable might come yet, rich people are rarely punctual, but for now you feel more at ease than you expected yourself to be tonight.

And Duke is not some secretive heir like Lord Goldbrith or a boasting sex addict like Lord Witdale. No, Sanolin is a very educated man and a very social one to boot, so the moment you two enter the main ballroom, he quickly becomes surrounded by ladies and lords alike. Everyone wants to be on his good side and you too get acknowledged as someone who is accompanying him tonight, asking where his wife is. When Duke explains that his wife isn’t feeling well thus he decided to bring his ‘niece’ with him, most seem to stop questioning your presence, although you do notice a suspicious glance or two from those who don’t believe Duke’s innocent lie because they don’t know who you truly are, which is not that many of them, you suddenly realize. This party seems to have been assembled from people who rub elbows with the ruler of the city very closely, including yourself, and that makes your job easier – protecting someone of this importance is near effortless when he’s surrounded by his allies instead of enemies.

And then something dawns on you – could Astarion be here? You immediately begin to look around watching for signs of him, but so far you see nothing, yet it still doesn’t alleviate the panic beginning to claw at your chest and throat. You don’t like feeling paranoid but this is exactly the feeling that now overwhelms your mind, making your hands shake slightly as you hold the glass of wine and take small sips from it while keeping your eyes on the crowd as Duke Sanolin is talking to his political allies with you at his side.

You don’t fear Astarion, not really, you’re too proud for that, but what do you fear is a scene that he could cause if seeing you back instead of getting a message from you informing him about your return could lead him to anger. And you already know that Astarion’s anger can get pretty explosive with no regards to anyone around him unless forced to stop and think better.

For an hour or so you feel rising panic trying to replace all other senses in your mind and body, but thankfully Sanolin doesn’t notice anything, chatting away about things that dull your mind: trades, fashions and council meetings. Nothing useful for you to pay attention to. And when you finally feel like you can relax, that Astarion might not show up, you freeze, paralyzed with near animalistic fear when you notice him entering with a loud laugh, teasing the servant and making the young man blush.

Shit.

You turn your back to him and try to blend in with the nobles chatting up the Duke, trying to hide behind his own body and you empty your glass of wine in one gulp to calm your nerves. What is wrong with you? You faced enemies and threats bigger than Astarion’s possible anger for not receiving a simple note from you, but you immediately understand why – because you want to be with him and you feel like you betrayed whatever fragile start you two agreed upon those two weeks ago.

“Good evening, my dear.” you hear Astarion’s all too familiar voice croon behind you and your fingers clench the glass so firmly that you have to remind yourself to relax before it shatters in your hand.

You slowly turn to him, not bothering to plaster on a fake smile, and his crimson eyes immediately locks onto yours. Duke and his allies fall silent at the greeting and turn to Astarion as well, making minstrels that the host hired for tonight seem unreasonably loud even though that’s far from the truth.

“I was so hoping to see you tonight.” Astarion says and you hear traces of poison in his words, you notice the cold edge in his smile and hardness in his eyes.

“You know my niece?” Duke interrupts the stare-down and Astarion turns to the man, shaking his hand.

“Duke Sanolin, delighted to see you tonight. And yes, I do know your niece.” you near flinch at vampire’s emphasis on your fake title and you look at Duke, seeing that he and Astarion are exchanging some silent understanding, most likely about who you really are, the hired assassin.

“She’s a delight, isn’t she.” Duke smiles at you now and you feel his hand on your lower back as if trying to reassure you, it makes you feel like your heart is being squeezed and a flash of sorrow replaces your anxiety with the wish that your own father was ever this comforting. Alas, you quickly discard the self-pitying thought and smile back to him.

“I’m glad to be here tonight, surely.” you speak and sense Astarion’s gaze burn into you, but you pretend that you don’t feel it or see it.

“Duke Sanolin, would you mind if I stole your niece for a moment or two? There’s something I want to ask her about her… mother.” Astarion pauses as he tries to think of a lie on the spot but since Duke is perfectly aware of your line of work, after all that’s exactly why you’re here, he just gives Astarion a curious look and nods, his hand leaving your back.

“Just for a moment.” he says and Astarion laughs, waving his hand dismissively.

“You’re a powerful opponent in a fight, Duke, I’m sure you don’t need a small girl like her protecting you, do you?” Lord Ancunin says with a taunting grin and Sanolin narrows his eyes for a moment, but when his companions burst into lighthearted laughter, he relaxes and laughs along.

“Very true indeed. Go ahead then, steal my niece away, but I want her returned, sooner rather than later, she’s here to observe and to learn.” Duke lies with such conviction that you wonder if he’s becoming delusional, but you understand that maybe this is exactly why he’s a Duke – a good politician knows how to lie without a shadow of doubt in his own words.

Yet you don’t want to go with Astarion. Even when he pulls the empty glass out of your fingers you look at the Duke with questions in your eyes that you hope he can read.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t stay and… observe the conversations?” you ask as the men surrounding Duke now simmer down to chuckles and Duke pauses, then glances at Astarion, noticing his impatience. “I’m sure you won’t miss too much if you’re away for ten minutes or so.” he nods and your stomach clenches but you nod too and inhale deeply before you look at Astarion again, his gleeful expression looks more dangerous than actually happy to you, yet you don’t say another word.

“I will return her shortly.” Astarion ensures Duke Sanolin and when Duke nods to him as well, he briefly licks his lips. “Follow me.” the vampire gestures with a turn on his heel and begins leading you through the crowd.

With leaden feet and arms just as heavy you follow him, preparing yourself for the confrontation. The crimson daggers he was shooting at you the entire conversation, despite how brief it was, make you easily understand that Astarion is angry. Maybe not as angry as he was when he visited your home, but close enough to make you worry about what’s to happen.

The moment main crowd is behind you both, Astarion pauses and turns to you, then grabs your wrist and begins dragging you after him, ignoring servants and several scattered nobles loitering by the ballroom walls as you barely can keep up with him, your skirts burdening your steps.

“I can walk on my own!” you hiss behind him, not wanting to draw even more unneeded attention but you get ignored while Astarion navigates the hall, pulling you deeper into the bowels of the mansion until he arrives to the end of the corridor and pushes open the door.

You try to glance back, to see if anyone is watching, but don’t get the chance when Astarion pulls you into the room with enough force to make you stumble forwards, especially when he suddenly releases your wrist. When you spin around to face him, you watch him slam the door shut and turn the key in the lock, the snap of it sounding like a thunderstrike in the silent room.

Quickly you realize that you’re in party host’s private study as your eyes catch upon tall shelves, shields and paintings adorning the walls. The desk that you nearly ran into, that is now behind you, was empty when you briefly saw it and now you see two full armor knight suits by each side of the door.

At last Astarion turns to you. His expression is a deep frown and he tugs on the sleeves of his bejeweled white and silver attire, then smirks.

“So you’re back.” he starts and you open your mouth to reply but he swiftly raises his upturned palm to you, silencing your words before they leave you. “You’re back and you didn’t even bother telling me. For how long?” the vampire steps towards you and you move backwards away from him, not yet noticing that you’re doing that.

“Last night. I returned only last night and then this morning Duke’s note came.” you hear yourself rushing to explain but Astarion scoffs, his smirk wide and sharp and then it becomes even wider when you bump into the desk behind you, leaving you with no other place to retreat to.

“So instead of sending me a short, quick message that I know you are capable of, instead you prostrate yourself in front of all these rich politicians like a whore begging for attention. I thought I mattered to you more.” he taunts with fire and brimstone in his every word and you begin to feel sweat beading your forehead. Why are you so stressed about confronting him right now? You have no answer.

“I didn’t know I was married to you.” you bravely taunt back with a crooked grin, your palms grasping the edge of the desk and gripping it tight like it’s an anchor to a ship at sea because that’s exactly how you feel right now, lost in the storm that is about to crack the sky wide open.

Astarion pauses his steps at your words, his smirk faltering for a precious moment, then he tilts his chin upwards ever so slightly and takes couple last steps to end up right in front of you, just mere inches away, so close you can smell his perfume and see the dim light reflected in his irises from the few lit candles in the room.

“Would marriage be more preferable than becoming my spawn?” he asks and here it is, just as you suspected it will be – his desire to turn you into his thrall. You knew that he won’t give up the idea easily and you frown, finding your anger.

“Neither would be preferable. Look how you are acting! I do my work but you have the gall to insult me? Call me a whore?” you shoot back and straighten your back, your eyes harden as they look at him and Astarion’s own eyes narrow at your words.

“You told me you wanted me, to be with me.” his voice is dangerously low as he speaks but you don’t care, because what can he even do here, in the home of city’s general, with Duke not far either. Assured that Astarion wouldn’t risk exposing himself by hurting you - you feel emboldened.

“You came into my home and Dominated me, you bastard!” you raise your voice and Astarion’s hands twitch like he wants to do something, to strike you or maybe silence you. You don’t care either way.

“I didn’t force you to say what you said! You wanted it! You admitted it! Now you’re pretending like you haven’t said a word?!” Astarion’s own voice raises as you shout at each other now.

“I’m not pretending! But you’re insane if you think I will drop everything and just run to you the moment I’m back!”

“Why not?! Is carousing with these old cads that much preferable than coming to me?! You take their money so that they can roister with other fat slobs and you try to tell me that’s not what being a whore is?!” Astarion points his finger at you as he shouts, his features twisted in anger and you slap his hand away from your face.

“I’m not fucking them, you spoiled idiot!” you snap back and Astarion’s hand shoots up, his fingers wrap around your throat and start squeezing it.

“But what if you are?!” he hisses at your face while you try to pry his hand off your neck and it finally dawns on you – he’s jealous, isn’t he. He’s jealous because he saw you with the Duke.

“Let go.” you manage to croak with Astarion barely letting you take in any air while your nails scratch at his hand leaving marks, but it’s like he doesn’t even notice that, his crimson eyes blazing with fury and envy that you chose your work over doing something as small as letting him know you’re back.

“No. It’s time you learn once and for all – you are mine.” a wicked grin suddenly appears on his face and while you try not to panic at all the possibilities that can happen, you feel Astarion use his other hand to pull the dress off your shoulders in several harsh yanks, the seams straining and snapping.

“Astarion, what do you think you’re doing.” your voice is coarse, barely a whisper but he’s not even looking at you.

He’s holding you in place by your neck while he moves the dress down your arms, making you release his wrist when the fabric begins cutting into your skin, the garment then is moved lower, your breasts become exposed and you grit your teeth while Astarion moves the top of your dress to your waist, making sure that your wrists are still in the sleeves, binding them to your body this way.

“I know you want to be mine. You can’t deny it, I can hear your heart beating fast and not from fear, little assassin. I’ll show to you just how badly you want to belong to me” vampire responds with a degree of calmness in his voice and when his eyes finally raise to your face, he notices a traitorous blush on your cheeks. “You’re so beautiful when you are forced into submission.” he whispers and you part your lips to speak but stop when you feel the heat of his palm on your breast, fondling it, squeezing it, then his fingertips find your hardened nipple and pluck at it, making you gasp ever so softly with your neck still being squeezed. Your body responds to the rough teasing, desire begins to uncoil in your lower abdomen and for a moment you hate it.

“Stop it!” you manage a whisper and finally Astarion’s fingers on your neck relent, letting you inhale more air but also making you slightly dizzy in the process. You try to remove your hands from your dress sleeves, feeling like you’re being shackled but Astarion interrupts your attempt by harshly kissing you on the mouth.

Your lips were parted as you were gasping for air and he wastes no time to slip his tongue into your mouth. You try to lean back from him but all you achieve is Astarion biting down on your lower lip just for a moment and grabbing your hips, lifting them so that you drop on the desk on your back with a thud. You lift your head to look at him and notice his eyes scanning your exposed chest while he moves your body for you, pushing it more onto the desk.

“What do you think you’re doing! It’s host’s office!” you hiss with both anger and slightly panicked concern that someone might come looking for you, sooner rather than later, but it’s like Astarion doesn’t hear you.

Annoyed that he’s treating you like this you try to free your wrists again only for him to grab at the fabric in a way that it brings both of your hands together and he tsks at you, his eyes meeting yours for a moment while he grins.

“Don’t struggle little assassin, you know you want this just as much as I do.” he says almost calmly if not for his eyes betraying his passion and desire.

“I have to go back, Duke-“

“Fuck the Duke.” Astarion suddenly snaps at you, clearly unhappy that you still try to resist him, try to argue with him, because obviously he doesn’t care about anything but this moment and you. “I will do whatever I please, to whoever I please, whenever I please.” his words are choppy and you feel your heart skip a beat at this. You realize that his arrogance and assurance that nobody can stop him is exactly what you find so alluring about him.

“Astarion-“

“No, no more words from you.” his brows are furrowed and with other hand he finds his way under your dress, finding your underwear and yanking it down with three swift, practiced pulls, wrangling it down your legs with ease. You watch him with surprise because he’s so different right now compared to two other times you fucked. There’s something else about him now, less charm and more confidence? No, that’s not right.

Dominance.

Dominance urged by his jealousy and his desire to make you finally submit.

And then his eyes flash red at you before you notice him holding your undergarment before he bunches it up in his fist and pauses just for a second. Astarion then quickly leans over you, his hand releasing your dress and now gripping your jaw, pushing his thumb and index finger into your cheeks until you are forced to open your mouth. Not that you resist much, caught completely off-guard by his sudden attack. You make a sound of protest and then your own underwear gets shoved into your mouth. You make another noise, startled and shocked but Astarion only clamps a palm over your lips with a grin.

“I think it’s for the best if you remain quiet for now.” he says with a bitter tone and you know he’s still angry, you can see it in his eyes, the possessiveness that he doesn’t even try to fight, because right now he just embraces it. You are his, that’s how he sees it, and he’s ought to teach you that once and for all.

Your eyes scan the room while you try to figure your way out of this predicament and while you’re not looking Astarion leans back from you, his palm leaving your mouth and for a brief second you try to push the fabric out of your mouth, but then clamp on it with your teeth when you feel two fingers plunge into your cunt. Your eyes immediately snap back to Astarion who’s watching his digits begin to pump in and out of you, enjoying how your body responds by clenching and releasing, getting wetter for him by the second. A smirk widens on his face as his gaze remains locked on your core swallowing his fingers with a wet sound.

“This is how I like you best, my little assassin. Submissive and eager for me.” Astarion croons, his jealous anger finally dissipating into nothing, replaced by pure desire. Palm of his other hand presses against the inside of your right thigh then pushes your legs wider apart and the tip of his tongue licks at his upper lip. “You will look absolutely wonderful as you stand by my side in the Crimson Palace.” he speaks more to himself than to you now, his fingers curling and stroking your inner walls, making you shiver and breathe faster as fire quickly spreads through your body, making you forget your fight at least for the time being. “You don’t know it yet, but you will love to be mine, I promise you that, darling.”

Astarion’s eyes do not leave your spread legs when he pulls his fingers out of you, together drawing a muffled moan out of your throat and then his head dips down and you moan around your gag louder when his hot tongue greedily presses against your drenched folds. He licks them, parts them with the tip of his tongue and then rubs against the nub of your clit while his fingers return and spread your entrance, this time making you squirm as your legs shake from tension and uncomfortable position. Astarion has a free hand and he puts it to use, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder while his tongue slithers down from your clit to your wide open cunt and he fills it with eager devotion. You mewl as you watch him with strained from pleasure expression, but soon your neck gets tired and you let your head drop back on the desk while vampire’s tongue explores you as deeply as it possibly can, making you pant out soft sighs at his ministrations.

“Ahh, delicious.” you hear Astarion exhale the moment his mouth leaves you and you exhale with relief when your body relaxes. “But that’s not all, little love.” he coos and your heavy-lidded eyes find his face. You watch him lick his lips, then quickly undo his pants, first the belt, then the buttons and then he pulls out his hard cock, the tip of it glistening with precum, and your throat involuntarily attempts to swallow, the gag in your mouth becoming drenched with your saliva. Astarion laughs. “I see the hungry look in your eyes, but don’t worry, I will give you exactly what you want.” a wicked grin and then he aims his length at you, teasing the tip against your wetness. “So ready for me with so little effort. You’re so easy.” he taunts with a chuckle and you blush heavily because something about how he says it makes your blood run faster and compels you to want to please him.

With a soft hum as he watches himself tease your cunt with his velvety tip Astarion finally pauses, nudging your entrance, pushing in just a little bit and then pulling back. His eyes flick to you to watch your reaction as he does it again and again, making your brain lose any thought except for all-consuming desire for him to stop it, to just fuck you, you’re not used to these types of games, but it looks like this is exactly why Astarion is doing this. He’s enjoying driving you crazy and it’s written all over your face how impatient you are already.

“I wish I could hear you beg, make you put that sweet mouth of yours to good use for once, but alas.” Astarion muses and just as you furrow your brows at his words he wipes everything from your mind by thrusting deeply and powerfully into you.

You cry out, your underwear in your mouth muffling nearly all of it and you watch Astarion smile widely, satisfied by your receptive reaction.

“Good girl, I prefer when you don’t struggle.” he teases and begins pumping.

His pushes are slow in the beginning and Astarion grabs your wrists now, holding them together at your waist as he increases his pace, plunging into you faster and harder. You mewl at his every shove into your core and watch his perfect curls lose their assembly with each passing moment, you see the sweat appear on Astarion’s forehead and his eyes are focused on your breasts that are swinging invitingly as he fucks you on top of this desk and yet he smirks, satisfied with himself.

“You’re perfect. Every time I have you like this I realize it more and more. You’re perfect…” his own voice starts becoming strained, his thrusts hard and heavy, and you wrap your legs around his hips, pushing him deeper into you, making him glance up at your eyes. “Just perfect…” he affirms and bites his lower lip while his face flushes with his physical exertion and his eyes move from yours to your lips, then to your neck.

No, you can’t stop yourself, this feels too good and you bite on your gag as you watch yourself being fucked by a man who you tried to resist for so long. For so long you were trying to escape the truth, deeper truth than that you have feelings for him. Truth, that the thought of being his spawn is not as unappealing as you kept trying to convince yourself. And as his cock strokes you deep inside, making you feel more than pleasure, more than a temporary satisfaction, making you feel like you are wanted and needed, you let go and close your eyes, letting yourself enjoy this fully. But that’s what you were looking for all your life – someone to take charge and just allow you to enjoy yourself. Maybe that’s what you want for eternity too.

You suddenly gasp, brought back to the present as you feel Astarion’s fangs pierce your breast. When you open your eyes you now see that his mouth is wrapped tightly around your left nipple, his tongue moving against it, sucking hard, soothing the pain from his fangs now embedded into your supple flesh. Your eyes meet his when he lifts his red gaze to you and you see nothing but desire in them even through the curl now hanging over his face.

With a wet sound Astarion release your breast and you notice two puncture wounds, slowly beginning to seep blood while he straightens his back, his face covered in sweat and his lips painted in crimson, then his hands move and force your legs open, making you release the grip of your thighs on his hips with ease.

“You’re mine and you will be forever be mine.” Astarion says it with such conviction that you don’t think, you just nod to him as your dry throat tries to make your moans louder. “Yes? Nod again.” he commands and you nod eagerly again while he handles your legs by grabbing underside of your thighs and pushing them up, then down, nearly bending you in half as his cock manages to slide even deeper into you than before. “Good girl.” Astarion’s voice becomes audibly strained but he grins from under his eyebrows and begins thrusting again, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Your fingers clench at your dress harder and harder but you don’t notice that at all, instead you arch your neck and let out cry after cry with every mind-numbing pump only to be silenced by your gag. Astarion is panting too, his groans and moans louder and louder each time his body rocks against yours. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room alongside your voices and your back arches, you’re so close now, so close to the promised release.

“Fuck, you feel so good, I don’t think I will ever get tired of fucking you.” Astarion’s heat of passion has taken over him and he pounds into you with reckless abandon now, chasing his own climax without caring to tease you or prolong it any longer.

And then a knock on the door. Astarion doesn’t stop, doesn’t even flinch but you open your eyes, trying to gather your scattered thoughts to understand what’s going on.

“I can hear you in there! Come out at once!” Duke Sanolin’s voice barely registers in your clouded mind and more bangs on the door do not delay the orgasm that is approaching you like a tidal wave. “Do you hear me?!” an angry voice, but you don’t care. Rest of the bangs and words fade from your reality when you close your eyes again.

“Get the FUCK away from the door!” you suddenly hear Astarion snap angrily and the banging on the door stops.

You whine with pleasure, ignoring all of this and feel Astarion bend over you, squishing you underneath him as his tongue leaves a hot trail on your skin between your breasts. And then his voice reaches your mind, a strained whisper.

“Come for me, my love.” he nips at your right breast, his thrusts not relenting and it’s like this is all you needed to hear. You let go.

With a scream of pleasure behind your gag you come, your body straining, your cunt clenching around Astarion’s cock and with a loud groan he climaxes, spilling inside of you and filling you while his erratic thrusts try to prolong the bliss even for a second more. You don’t even feel how Astarion’s fingers dig deep into your thighs as he loses control and everything disappears except your satisfaction until it finally retreats and your body relaxes.

You lay there, gasping for air and finally remember that you can just spit out your gag. Yet before you do, you feel it being pulled from between your teeth and when you open your eyes, you see Astarion gently removing your underwear from your mouth. He smiles to you and then places a kiss on your dry lips, wetting them with his tongue.

“You did so well, my love, so well.” he praises as he gently lets you lower your legs and you try to gather your scattered mind, trying to catch your breath.

“Someone was here. Duke… It was the Duke.” you murmur and Astarion only chuckles.

“Yes he was and now he isn’t. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you and me. Be mine, little assassin. Be mine forever. You can’t tell me that eternity of us doesn’t sound good.” Astarion’s lips that were whispering against yours now move down to your neck and you tense for a moment, only for him to chuckle and look back at you. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn you here.”

“But you are going to turn me.” you begin to find your voice despite your throat feeling raw and Astarion gently rubs a pad of his thumb against your lower lip.

“You want it. I know you do. You want me to take care of you.” he whispers and something breaks in you, snaps in a way you never expected. What’s the point in lying and pretending.

What’s the point in struggling only to die.

The promise of immortality. A promise of eternity with him. Do you feel this strongly about Astarion? But as you look at his tired, sweaty face, as you see his smile that looks genuine and as you see desperate yearning in his eyes you realize that yes, you do.

“I want it.” you respond in barely a whisper and Astarion’s eyes widen for a moment, then he smiles.

“Wonderful.” he says but then pulls back from you, sliding himself out of you and letting his cum seep out of your sore cunt before he helps you sit up and free your hands from binds of your own dress.

You glance up at him as you rub your wrists but you’re allowed that only for a moment before Astarion draws you off the desk and into his arms, holding you firmly. His kiss is sudden and scorching while you still try to recover from everything but his happiness is obvious. Then he leans back before you are even able to kiss him back, his palms quickly move to cradle your face as he looks at you with relief on his face.

“Come to the palace. Tomorrow. I will have everything ready so that your step into immortality is perfect. I promise you this, my little assassin, I will make sure that you don’t regret this.” Astarion whispers and your heart beats faster in your chest. You heard promises like this before, many times, but somehow when it’s Astarion who’s saying them - you believe him.

“Tomorrow?” you ask, still dazed and trying to process everything.

“Leave the details to me. Just come to me when sun goes down. And… don’t change your mind.” he frowns slightly, as if worried you might not appear but you sigh and grasp his waist, pulling your body against his. There’s no fight left in you anymore, just acceptance. So you smile and give him a brief kiss.

“I’ll be there tomorrow evening, as you wish.” you promise and Astarion’s gaze slips down your face, then to your neck ever so briefly before his eyes are on yours again.

“I’ll be waiting.”

[mdizzle999872]

No Matter What

"Uzi? It's time to rejoin the others. And you know.... Hop on the bus?"

Uzi timidly walked up to N. "Listen, N. I know you still like me but I still killed a whole bunch of my classmates and I already wasn't on the best of terms with them from the start. I mean, for pity's sake, even when I was full genocidal monster on them they STILL didn't know my name!"

N blinked with a beep at her.

"What I'm trying to say is... maybe, after all this time, everyone has avoided me for an actual good reason. Maybe I'm.... supposed to be alone. Maybe is everyone is supposed to... just up and leave me. I mean, if I just end up hurting everyone than it would only be natural that I end up... alone?"

Uzi was always a short droid but she was feeling even smaller with this little admission.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's never going to happen. I'm not going anywhere."

Uzi smiled. Just a small one though.

"Really?"

"Really. And I'll prove it, through song!"

"Oh wait! No, N! Really, that's okay! Please don't..."

"Too late, I'm singing it! In the light of the day"

Uzi facepalmed. "Oh geez."

"In the dark of the night"

"I guess we're really doing this, huh?"

"When you're raring to go"

"I at least hope nobody else can hear us."

'When you're tired from the fight"

"Otherwise this will be IMPOSSIBLE to live down!"

"When you're losing your mind"

"Seriously, an entirely separate genocide just to keep droids quiet."

"Let me give you a thought"

"Alright, fine. Since I can't seem to stop it, I might as well just ride it out. At least it's just for me. Not everybody can say N sung them a song."

"I'm gonna be right your side no matter what"

Despite the embarrassment, Uzi still smiled. Nobody else was around, so why NOT sing along?

"In the dark of the night"

N covered his visor with his hands for a moment.

"In the dark of the night" Uzi sang along.

N's whole face brightened as soon as he heard Uzi sing with him.

"In the light of the day"

N placed his arm around Uzi and threw out his far hand as if he were referring to something far away.

"In the light of the day"

Uzi playfully rolled her eyes.

"When you're rising to shine"

N stretched his arms as if he were waking up.

"When you're rising to shine"

Uzi pretended to be rubbing dust from her eye (visor).

"When you're hitting the hay"

N put his hands together and rested his head against them mimicking sleep.

"When you're hitting the hay"

Uzi pulled N's hat down over his visor.

"I'll be hanging around"

N jumped up and hung upside down on a tree branch with his arms dangling down.

"I'll be hanging around"

Uzi jumped up and grabbed N's arms, swinging with them.

"If you like it or not"

N brought Uzi up so they were sitting on the same branch.

"If you like it or not"

Uzi put N in a headlock and gave him a friendly noogie. Hat and all.

"I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what!"

N threw some ninja stars at a tree and then he shared some with Uzi. Her whole face brightened with a giant smile.

"No matter what"

N used his tail to hang upside down again.

"No matter what"

Uzi mimicked him but because she wasn't used to having a tail, her's just sort of bit the branch.

"No matter what"

N and Uzi both had their wings out and N was using fingers to count down.

"No matter what"

Both took off into the air but Uzi needed a little help. Thankfully N was able to instruct her on the proper way to flap.

"No matter what"

N shot up a little bit into the sky.

"No matter what"

Uzi followed quickly behind.

"No matter what"

N went a little higher.

"No matter what"

Uzi continued to follow.

"Oh, I'm gonna be"

N twirled around Uzi going higher into the sky.

"Oh, I'm gonna be"

Uzi hovered in place for a moment to ensure she wasn't dizzy. Then shot after him.

"Right by your side"

N appeared up in the clouds now.

"Right by your side"

 Uzi popped her head out of one of the clouds, joining him.

"I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what"

A small game of chase developed between the two.

"In the dark of the night"

Somehow in their little game N had lost sight of Uzi. He could hear her but he couldn't find her.

"In the light of the day"

 He looked behind a nearby cloud but she wasn't there.

"When you're rising to shine"

 N scratched his head in confusion.

"When you're hitting the hay"

 N decided that maybe if he just sang a little louder he could find her.

"Just remember this song"

Uzi quickly poked her head out from a cloud.

"How's it go? I forgot" confessed Uzi.

The two laughed for a moment but N quickly picked the song up again.

"I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what"

 They were flying down to the ground now.

"Through whoever you've been"

Uzi landed on a tree branch followed shortly by N.

"Through whoever you've been"

 N jumped down to the ground and folded up his wings.

"Through whoever you'll be"

N opened up his arms encouraging her to jump.

"Through whoever you'll be"

 Uzi tried to jump down but she slipped and almost bellyflopped down instead. N still caught her though.

"Through whatever you lose"

In his arms, Uzi stared up at N. A small blush started to form on her visor.

"Through whatever you lose"

 N stared down at Uzi with a smile.

"You will always have me"

 N realized they were lingering for longer than he thought and put her down.

"You will always have me"

 At first Uzi scooted away from him, hiding her optic visor with her hair. However, a moment later she scooted back and playfully punched his arm.

"At the end of your road"

N rubbed his arm but still smiled. He pointed to a trail back to the camp and started walking down it.

"At the end of your road"

 Uzi quickly followed after him, making sure she kept pace with him.

"I'll be holding you taut"

 Without warning Uzi grabbed N's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I'll be holding you taut"

 N looked down at their hands with borderline shock. He looked to her for an explanation only for her to grin in response.

"I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what"

With his hand in tow, she started to run down the path.

"Be right by your side, Be right by your side"

 N was resistant at first but he soon felt comfortable enough with it and ran past her, never letting go of her hand.

"Be right by your side no matter what"

N twirled Uzi around to slow down their speed and spun her into a hug.

[carchaseonacarchase]

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 & 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝. 🤎

╰┈➤ this is a list of songs that i think fit very well with carmen and chase, the selection of songs is pretty personal cause it's based on my own music tastes, i appreciate you to recommend me songs and other suggestions to expand it :3 this playlist is full of 60's/90's songs to keep it classic but there's also pop/rock/indie songs on there. enjoy ;)

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

⚘ the world we knew (over and over) frank sinatra ❛❛ and the sun and the moon seemed to be ours, each road that we took turned into gold. but the dream was too much for you to hold ❞

⚘ under attack abba ❛❛ under attack, i'm taking cover, he's on my track, my chasing lover ❞

⚘ atomic blondie ❛❛ make me tonight, tonight make it right ❞

⚘ stop the world cause' i wanna get off with you arctic monkeys ❛❛ when you want to escape, say the word. well i know that getting you alone isn't easy to do. get the sense that you're on the move, and you'll probably be leaving soon ❞

⚘ i need a disguise belinda carlisle ❛❛ i need a disguise, to hide my love, i need a disguise, you've seen too much ❞

⚘ waterloo abba ❛❛ and how could i ever refuse? i feel like i win when i lose. couldn't escape if i wanted to, waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you ❞

⚘ the louvre lorde ❛❛ our days and nights are perfumed with obsession. but we're the greatest, they'll hang us in the louvre down the back, but who cares - still the louvre ❞

⚘ it's no good depeche mode ❛❛ i'm gonna take my time, i have all the time in the world to make you mine, it is written in the stars above ❞

⚘ you know that i'm not good amy winehouse ❛❛ i cheated myself. like i knew i would. i told you i was trouble, you know that i'm no good❞

⚘ some unholy war amy winehouse ❛❛ he can't lose with me in tow, i refuse to let him go, at his side and drunk on pride, we wait for the blow ❞

⚘ useless depeche mode ❛❛ all your stupid ideals, you've got your head in the clouds, you should see how it feels, with your feet on the ground ❞

⚘ rebel yell billy idol ❛❛ what set you free and brought you to me, babe? what set you free? i need you here by me ❞

⚘ diet mountain dew lana del rey ❛❛ you're no good for me, baby, you're no good for me, you're no good for me, but, baby, i want you, i want you ❞

⚘ tainted love soft cell ❛❛ once i ran to you, now i'll run from you. the love we share seems to go nowhere ❞

⚘ love is a battlefield pat benatar ❛❛ but i'm trapped by your love, and i'm chained to your side. both of us knowing, love is a battlefield ❞

⚘ out of touch hall & oates ❛❛ the shades all around aren't the colors we used to see, broken ice still melts in the sun, and ties that are broken can often be one again, we're soul alone, and soul really matters to me ❞

⚘ he can only hold her amy winehouse ❛❛ now, how can he have her heart, when it got stole? so he tries to pacify her 'cause what's inside her never dies ❞

⚘ can't take my eyes of you the four seasons ❛❛ now that i've found you, stay, and let me love you, baby, let me love you ❞

⚘ careless whisper george michael ❛❛ as the music dies, something in your eyes, calls to mind a silver screen, and all its sad goodbyes ❞

⚘ les feuilles mortes duo gadjo and their hot friends ❛❛ oh! je voudrais tant que tu te souviennes, des jours heureux où nous étions amis, en ce temps-là, la vie était plus belle, et le soleil plus brûlant qu'aujourd'hui ❞

⚘ summer wine nancy sinatra ❛❛ she took my silver spurs a dollar and a dime, and left me cravin' for more summer wine❞

⚘ imagination foster the people ❛❛ we can't change the things we can't control, it's summer somewhere, do you shouldn't be so cold. if you want me to stay, don't keep me waiting for it ❞

⚘ why must we wait until tonight? tina turner ❛❛ take your lips and make them mine, tell me why, why must we wait until tonight, why when i've waited all my life ❞

⚘ the lady in red chris de burgh ❛❛ and when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away. it's just you and me, it's where i wanna be ❞

⚘ white teeth teens lorde ❛❛ i know you love it when the hairpins start to drop, i like your reckoning, but we got our methods ❞

⚘ heroes david bowie ❛❛ though nothing, nothing will keep us together, we can beat them, forever and ever. we can be us, just for one day ❞

⚘ knowing me, knowing you abba ❛❛ memories, good days, bad days, they'll be with me always. breaking up is never easy i know, but i have to go, knowing me, knowing you it's the best i can do ❞

⚘ suck it and see arctic monkeys ❛❛ how i often wonder where you are, you have got that face that just says 'baby, i was made to break your heart' ❞

⚘ as the world falls down david bowie ❛❛ as the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you, every thrill has gone, wasn't too much fun at all. but i'll be there for you as the world falls down ❞

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

So still the cloud it hangs

Over us and we're alone

But someday one day

We'll come home

--"Some Day One Day", Queen II

[softguarnere]

Like A Girl (Like A Man)

Shifty Powers x ofc

Chapter 19: A Native American in Paris

Summary: When he returns, he hands Zenie a postcard with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on it. “It’s not as good as having a picture taken in front of it, but, you know, I thought that it might be somethin’.” A/N: When I first started writing this fic, I always imagined D-Day as the beginning of a "Part Two" in the story. Regardless of what act we're in, this definitely feels like an intermission point for me. So I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for sticking with me this far, and I hope you'll hang around for the rest of the story <3 Warnings: mentions of war, drinking, implied sex Taglist: @latibvles @lady-cheeky @liebgotts-lovergirl @mrs-murder-daddy @lieutenant-speirs @ithinkabouttzu

France, 1944

Passes all around! It’s so much different from life back at Toccoa. It feels so long ago now that Zenie’s hands would clench into fists at her side when Captain Sobel would make up some excuse to revoke her pass. Maybe this is to make up for the fact that they got so few of these back in Georgia.

Paris is the keyword floating all around the barracks. All Zenie’s friends score passes to the City of Light. After the dreary days of sitting in mud in Holland, the prospect of exploring the city seems like a marvelous makeup for the eighty-something days stuck waiting. Zenie finds herself with a forty-eight hour pass to the famed city in her hands. The idea of someday getting the chance to brag to Marilyn that she visited the Eifel Tower makes her laugh. Then Shifty meets her eye from across the room and announces that he also has a pass to Paris – and on the same day as her. And suddenly the city that Zenie has hardly ever spared a thought for seems brighter and full of more possibilities than anything Marilyn used to describe while fawning over her books.

Especially because they still haven’t been alone.

Having friends is such a change of pace from Zenie’s life before running away. She loves them, and being with them. Lately, however, it seems like she can’t get a second away from them.

Mourmelon-le-Grand for R&R. Except the Rest in “Rest and Relaxation” has somehow turned into preparing for a football game that Zenie cannot seem to come up with a good enough excuse to not play in.

“Look,” she finally tells Babe one day in the barracks when he won’t stop pestering her about it. “I’m no good at football. My older brother played baseball, so that’s what I was taught. It’d be different if you wanted me to be a pitcher.” Or if we were playing any game that wouldn’t get me tackled, crushed, and exposed, she doesn’t add.

Babe swats his hand, pushing away her words. “Well lucky for you, you’ve got me to teach you. And I’m great at football, Tommy. I could have you ready for this game in a matter of days.”

“You tryin’ to get little Tommy a Purple Heart by getting’ all his bones crushed, ya mean?”

Everyone in the barracks jumps at the sound of a familiar voice – one whose absence has been heavily felt.

“Bill!”

The Italian spreads his arms as wide as his smile as he fully enters the room. He’s limping, but it doesn’t damper his smile. “What? Ya think you’d never see me again or somethin’?”

“Didn’t know how long ya were gonna baby that leg,” Babe quips, ducking when the taller man makes a move to affectionately ruffle his hair.

“Baby it? Yeah right. You know who you’re talkin’ to, Heffron? I made ‘em cut the cast off early so I could get back here and keep your ass in line!”

“Yeah, and God knows we needed that, because he keeps trying to get Tommy killed,” Joe says from his place on his bunk.

A cloud of seriousness crosses Bill’s face as he turns to her. “You really that bad at football?”

Well I should be, considering that I’ve never played, Zenie thinks. Instead, she nods. “The worst.”

“Someone could probably fix that. Not right now, though.” His smile returns as he glances over their group, a glint in his eye. “Any of you up for a little trip to Lulu’s?”

In the moment, there’s nothing particularly special about Lulu’s or the night that they spend there. (Besides, maybe, the fact that Bill missed the party with the Red Devils, and they feel the need to make up for all the fun he missed.) They drink too much and dance too fast and sing too loudly. On the way back to barracks, they cling to each other and laugh brightly as they haul each other home – a real team effort. With promising days of R&R ahead of them, they go to bed, already thinking of having this kind of fun night after night.

The place is a frenzy of excitement. The football game creeps ever closer and practices pick up with the mounting tensions. (Personally, Zenie’s not sure why anyone would worry when Joe Toye is playing for their team.) Passes are being taken into the cities, and each time a group of soldiers returns to brag about the fun he had, the harder Zenie’s heart pounds in her chest when she thinks about how she and Shifty both have passes to Paris.

“Two more days,” she notes as casually as she can in line for breakfast one day. “Never heard of half the places people are talking about.”

“Me neither. But a lot of the fellas seem to think it’s mighty fun there. Lots to do.”

Zenie hums in agreement. “Probably a lot of walking around the city.”

“Probably.”

“Lots of time to talk.”

As he scoops eggs onto his plate, Zenie catches him biting his lip. It doesn’t hide his smile. “Definitely.”

Lucky does not even begin to describe how Zenie feels when she learns that she and Shifty seem to be the only ones of their friends to have passes to Paris. After every chance that she might have had to speak with him has been thwarted, part of her is on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop, expecting something else to keep them apart.

They leave the barracks amiably enough. They make small talk as they board the train and make their way towards the city.

“This is my third time,” one of the soldiers in their train car brags as they ride. He quirks an eyebrow at them. “You ever been to Paris?”

“Never,” Zenie replies as Shifty shakes his head.

The soldier only nods. “Well, it doesn’t disappoint, I’ll tell you that much. You just have to know all the right places to look if you want to have a good time.”

“I think we’ll manage.”   

And they do. Shifty has already seen the city while out on a different pass with Popeye. Once they get off the train, though, he only smiles at Zenie and lets her take the lead, making suggestions about the fastest way to get places as they go.

As they weave their way through the people and the streets, they talk. Not in the way that Zenie has been waiting for them to, but at least they’re talking. More than they have been lately, too, which is enough for her. It’s enough just to see him smile at her as he regales her with stories of what he and Popeye saw and did while using their passes, and she tells him about Marilyn’s travel books that her sister would stare at for hours at night. It’s enough for their fingers to brush when Shifty buys a piece of pain au chocolat, then breaks it down the middle and hands her half. It's enough to watch his eyes light up when she uses a gentle finger to wipe a smudge of chocolate off his upper lip. This is what she imagined when she pictured them having a secret relationship. This is what she’s been missing.

But, she has to remind herself, this is what Shifty was worried would get them caught. The memory of that night at the brothel makes her chest ache. He didn’t think this would be possible until after the war. And maybe he still doesn’t want it until then. She won’t know until they get to talk – really talk.

“It’s big, ain’t it?” Shifty asks when they stop in front of the Eiffel Tower.

The famed tower is impressive. With the elevators not operational, though, there isn’t much to do but stand under it and admire it from different angles. Zenie tries to soak it up in her mind so that she can remember it later.

“Here.” As if he can read her mind, Shifty steps away, heading towards an older woman with a cart. He counts out some money and hands it to her. She smiles as she hands him something. When he returns, he hands Zenie a postcard with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on it. “It’s not as good as having a picture taken in front of it, but, you know, I thought that it might be somethin’.”

“It’s perfect,” Zenie rushes to assure him. “Thank you, Shifty.”

 The Virginian smiles, his cheeks tinged pink.

“You know,” he says. “If you’ve seen everything that you want to, I know somewhere that we can go. Away.”

As if to prove his point, a group of American soldiers walks behind them. Zenie and Shifty might have come here alone, without any of their other friends, but they’re not truly alone. Not yet.

Zenie pockets the postcard. “Lead the way.”

People bustle up and down the streets, laughing as they go. A few little kids point at her when they spot her, yelling in their excitement. It’s a bit like being back in Holland – well, the better part of being in Holland, when all the people had come out to welcome them with open arms. Zenie always makes sure to smile back, and salutes them just for the fun of it. It’s a nice distraction from the clammy feeling in her palms as she waits.

She spins around as the door of the hotel opens. Every time she’s hoped that it’s Shifty returning. This time, it really is him. He nods to her and flashes a key.

Up and up and up. The only sound on the stairwell is that of their boots echoing against the walls as they climb. Zenie glances at Shifty every now and then, feels him doing the same to her, but neither makes a move to speak. Maybe, like her, he’s trying to work out everything that he wants to say.

Peeling paint covers the door to their room. It’s at the end of the hallway, secluded, quiet. Zenie still glances over her shoulder as Shifty opens the door and ushers her inside.

This room is nothing like the one they talked in that night at the brothel. Whereas that room was dark and contained only a bed, this one is full of light and has not only a fluffy looking bed, but a vanity and a small doorway that leads to a bathroom. Something about the place makes it feel warm, and not just in temperature.

Closing the door behind her, Zenie stays in place even as Shifty walks further into the room. He glances back at her and, like that night at the brothel, gestures toward the bed.

“You wanna . . . ?”

The bed is just as fluffy as Zenie suspected it would be. It dips under their weight as they seat themselves. Also like that night, and against her better judgement, they sit close to each other. Really, what reason is there to not? Just like back in the foxholes of Holland, their knees bump into each other. They leave them there, pressing into each other.

This won’t be like last time, Zenie assures her heart as it pounds against her ribcage. Well, last time they had been holding hands when Shifty dropped the news –

No, he didn’t drop the news. He didn’t even get to finish what he wanted to say because Earl had started firing his gun and they had to leave the building. He was going to ask her to wait. And now . . . ?

She tries to find something to say, anything. They both start to speak at the same time. Words overlapping, they pause, each offering the other a small smile.

“Sorry,” Shifty says. “You first.”

Her first, with hardly a word at the ready. She says the first one that comes to mind, which is the only one she can properly associate with the whole situation that’s been playing out these past few months.

“I’m sorry. I wish we could start over.”

Slowly, Shifty nods. “Me, too. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He pauses, pushing a short sigh out through his nose. “When I was tryin’ to ask you to wait until after the war, I thought that I was protectin’ you. From this – “ He gestures around the room. “ – The sneaking around, and all that. But I didn’t consider, see, hurtin’ your feelings indirectly. I wanted to tell you, when I realized what had happened. But I could never seem to find you by yourself . . .”

Zenie cringes at the memory of dodging Shifty’s presence, of not meeting his eyes or looking directly at him until that night at the pub when Skinny asked him what he wanted to do after the war.

“That was my fault, and I’m sorry. I –“ She has to laugh, almost, at how stupid it seems now, to have been avoiding him. “ – I was trying to protect myself, and instead I ended up hurting you. And I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to.”

Silence falls over them. Then, like that night at the brothel, Shifty holds out his hand. There is no hesitation on Zenie’s part; of course she takes it, intwining their fingers together and relishing the feeling it sends down her spine.

“This is what we’ve been missing,” she realizes aloud.

Shifty nods. He lets out an unexpected laugh, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I was gonna put this off until the end of the war. Coulda been doin’ it the whole time.”

“But you were right to be worried. About being caught, I mean.”

“Maybe. After everythin’ we’ve been through, though, is it really worth the wait?”

This time, Zenie tries to take in the full meaning of his words instead of just assuming she knows what he means, or what’s about to happen.

“What do you mean?”

“The end of the war might be a long way off, you know,” Shifty says. “And, I don’t know. After all we’ve been through, I guess I’ve realized that nothin’ is for certain.” He pauses and meets her eye. He stares so deeply into her that it feels like he’s trying to read her mind. “I don’t mind it – the sneakin’ around, I mean – if you don’t. And the end of the war . . . Well, if you want, we can figure it out when we get there. Whenever that may be.”

Her heart lurches, ready to take the plunge with him.

“You want us to court?” She clarifies. Nothing will be left to chance or interpretation this time.

“Yes.”

Going with Shifty Powers. Of course she will, and she tells him as much. She only wishes she could tell her past self, all the way back in Toccoa, that this was coming; that version of Zenie would have never seen this coming.

Her hands shake. She wonders if he can feel them trembling against his. A laugh, a sigh of relief, and a jubilant cry all gather at the back of her throat. When she opens her mouth, she’s not sure which will come out.

“You know,” she says instead. “I think you’ve just made me the happiest girl in Paris.”

Shifty grins. “Zena, when we make it out of this war, I’ll make sure you’re the happiest girl in the whole world.”

The rest of the war, Zenie prays, will be kind to them.

With the forty-eight-hour pass, they don’t have to wait until the end of the war for Shifty to make her the happiest girl in the world. Alone in their hotel room, with nothing but a slant of moonlight that sneaks in through the crack in the curtains, they make up for all their lost time.

The next morning, they discover that the towels in the bathroom are just as fluffy as the bedding. The soft, white fabric leaves little trails of fuzz covering their bodies, and they giggle as they gently swat each other, trying to remove it.

Putting on her uniform after the night they have feels strange. For a day, she’s been Zenie again. Her performance has enjoyed an intermission. Now, as they wander the streets of Paris one last time before boarding the train that will take them back to Mourmelon-le-Grand, she’s stepping back into her role and heading into the second act as a changed woman.

Changed for the better, she hopes.

[moormoormoor]

First two albums Queen and Queen II are like a tender fairytale for me.

In the land where horses born with eagle wings

And honey bees have lost their stings

There's singing forever…

Kings will be crowned, and the word goes around

From father to son, to son

Won't you hear us sing

Our family song?

Now we hand it on…

There's no living in my life anymore

The seas have gone dry

And the rain's stopped falling

Please don't you cry any more

Can't you see

Listen to the breeze

Whisper to me please

Don't send me to the path of nevermore…

I reign with my left hand I rule with my right

I'm lord of all darkness I'm queen of the night

I've got the power

Now do the march of the Black Queen…

When I was you and you were me

And we were very young

Together took us nearly there

The rest may not be sung

So still the cloud it hangs

Over us and we're alone

But some day one day

We'll come home.

Happy birthday, Mr. Mercury! ♠️♠️♠️

[puppygirlsounding]

So it's been over a month now.

I'm pre-typing this. Going to drop this in your dms. I don't expect a response, and I'll take the hint and leave it at this if you don't respond.

I bet you still use your Tumblr, no idea if you still follow me because my list has been bugged for the better part of a decade. So If you saw some of my posts I'll be rehashing some things.

Long story short, Forced myself to be alone and completely lock away my emotions. I got so tired of it all I completely shut shop. Normally this would be the part where I'd admit how stupid and/or careless that was towards myself, my mental well-being, etc.

Except that it worked out somehow.

I still can't believe it myself, but it was like being compressed down into a new state of matter. Hitting rock bottom and realizing there was nowhere else to push the feelings, no one else to blame or use as a distraction. It made me finally come face to face with my self. My true, inner self and not the facade I've kept up for my entire life. A life of repression, anxiety and unmitigated hatred.

I spent 20 years basically trying to be anybody but myself because a handful of shitty people made me think it was a crime to exist. All of what I had been for the entire time you known me has been that pared down, sink water version. Too afraid of their own shadow judging them to be themselves.

And this isn't some "I totally re-invented myself nothing is wrong anymore lmao" level brainrot

I was still myself before, just incredibly neutered, and I chose to be that way for so much longer than I should have.

I still take responsibility for every way I acted and anything I've done

I'm finally able to say all this without it being run through a morass of epic irony or depression

I got to see myself for the first time, and show love inward so I can begin to regrow what was lost

So the past month has been crazy because of it, not hating every day you wake up sure does make time pass differently, it's felt like forever since we stopped talking, to the point I did a double take when looking at our dms

On a short list of notables, I came out to my coworkers as trans/bigender/genderfluid

Still.... Figuring that one out.

But my boss and trans friend coworker know, I have a support network for the first time.

I already naired all the hair off my arms once, and started displaying more femininity, as much as I can for now.

And I've stopped having my meltdowns and panic attacks.

I'm still as sensitive as ever, that is one of the things definitely still a part of me, it's just not being exacerbated by a roiling sea of vitriol tucked underneath the surface anymore.

So yeah, I'm not out here saying I'm some "completely new person" or something like that, but I am an incredibly different version of the Hunter you knew.

Which brings us to the topic at hand, and why despite all this positive change I haven't been able to bring myself to talk.

I'm scared

I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared.

Yes I felt the need to say it four times.

After learning to distance myself, resulting in finding myself. I realized a few days ago why I couldn't reach out to you like I had planned. At first I tricked myself into thinking I was mad. Made you out to be the problem in my head, because I didn't want to acknowledge I was being a coward. Because it hurts to look at flaws carved that deep right after coming out into the sun for the first time.

There are a lot of things that were said between us, I said some awful garbage. You said some things I want to believe we're in good faith, you trying look out for my best interests.

The fact of the matter is though, I lost it and lashed out because I was too afraid to address my real feelings and tell you how much you were hurting me unintentionally.

Doesn't excuse me trying to hurt you, but I'd I don't explain it this way I'll never be able to finish so just hang in there with me please.

So after all that, and the self discovery I was feeling great, cloud nine sublime.

But I still couldn't get over how we left off. Despite not being able to address it.

Because I learned the reason why socializing was so easy for me before was the fact that my love starved brain was primed to leap into the arms of anyone that would give it validation.

Now though, with the ability to self-actualize, love, and support my own mind... The thought of reaching out petrified me.

I'm finally learned how to not be a walking pipe bomb of human emotions after 25 years, but now the exact opposite was the issue.

I put distance between myself and everyone around me because the thought of putting myself back out into the world, and risking the little seedbed I had started was too much to handle.

So I'm telling you now, I'm scared. I'm afraid to even send this, and despite having my anxiety under control now, I'm still mortified about sending you this. Because I don't want to relapse, I don't want to go back. I'm starting over completely from scratch with my social skills almost, even the ones I can still use all have to acclimate to my new perspective.

The one where a potential friendship isn't all upsides, where I have to think about protecting myself first.

I still consider you the closest a person has ever come to really understanding me, and that means more than I could ever illustrate with words.

I've spent my whole life looking for it, and I don't want it to be a pipe dream.

I want you to be a part of my life as long as possible. I don't know if you could ever feel the same, but I'd spend an eternity with you if we could get us figured out.

That's it. Enjoy the novella. I'm going to go drown myself in chores now to try and feel better.

[the-hadal-zone-sys]

Hello! Long post warning. When we infodump we INFODUMP.

First up, I'm Yuno, the one who wrote most of this. Some others chipped in too though, they're in the tags!

So we have three-ish hosts. I say "ish" 'cause Forrest isn't as active anymore? He still has all the abilities of our other two though. Cloud could be considered the "main host," the other two co-hosts are Jonathan and Forrest.

Cloud's been around forever basically, and Forrest is pretty old too but not one of the "originals." Jonathan's been here like a month but we love him <3

So we're a mixed origins non-disordered system, we don't have amnesia barriers and we're monoconscious. Also probably mediple? We haven't reached a consensus on that yet.

We're uhhh VERY fictive heavy! I'm a fictive, Jonathan's a fictive, lotsa fictives here. As far as other introjects go, we have one songtive (lagtrain) too! No factives yet but I assume we'll get one someday probably.

Our system's like. Medium sized? Probably on the large end? Somewhere in the 50-60 headmate zone last I checked. It seems to keep growing though-

Our innerworld is very big and hard to talk about and honestly that would be half of the post if we tried! But I'll try to give the cliff notes version. Our innerworld is basically a massive island separated into different sorta districts.

(The rest of the post is literally just innerworld stuff <3)

There's the beach, sea, and impossible city, all grayscale places, the water is pure black. The impossible city is made up of strange towering buildings that are, well, impossible! Think monument valley if you've played it? Or any of those visual illusions with impossible shapes/geometry. Under the sea is a coral reef and a deep trench where Nix used to live. There's also a little deck that goes out over the ocean, which is our fronting area! It's more of a suggestion than a rule though...

From there there's the fields, which have a sorta dreamcore-y vibe? The sky is always clear and blue, the grass always short and green. There are a buncha doors that just kinda stand alone which can lead into pocket areas, like Cloud's house. This area is also home to one of the NPC groups in our headspace, which we call "the neighbors." They're basically just random silhouettes that walk around in the fields and don't do much?

Uhh then the forest, which kinda has two subareas. There's the darker part of the forest, with coniferous trees, it's all cold there, plus lotsa bones everywhere for some reason, that's where Forrest and Alba live. Then there's the lighter area, that's basically all maple or birch trees, lotsa red leaves and stuff, it's pretty nice.

Then there's the. Other Field. This one's a lot more normal, it's just got a lot of pretty flowers. Morri and Aether live there I think.

There's also the other city, it's very colorful and bright, and in the center is a big circus tent run by Jes. A lot of our entertainer headmates hang around there, you can go see them put on shows. It's really neat actually.

There's also the underground market, which is, well, a market that's underground. It's got a very nice vibe, lots of shops and warm lighting, usually crowded with NPCs.

Then, of course, there's the central mountain, smack dab in the middle of our headspace! It's a towering snowy mountain, originally it looked a lot like dragonspine from genshin impact but not as much anymore. It's hollow on the inside, where Opal lives. That's also where our system's gateway is located! Big door in the middle of the mountain.

Some other notable locations are:

The archives, where Jonathan hangs out, wonder why /sar (He is a TMA introject). It doesn't really seem to have a defined location in the headspace, but it's basically where he keeps all of his records on... Basically all of the system's inner-workings.

The prison ruins, from that one time one of our headmates decided a prison was a good idea without asking the rest of us first. That was... A day. Long story short Cloud blew it up and now we have some sick looking ruins.

The train! Big train that connects all of the areas together. The conductor is one of our headmates, Rook. It's a very fancy and nicely furnished train, wish stained glass windows and really comfy chairs. There are also. A lot of crows. Probably because it's run by Rook.

Rook's sanctuary, basically where Rook hangs out when he's not running the train. It's a big domed greenhouse with perches and bird houses hanging from all over the ceiling. It's like... Way bigger than anyone else's house lmao

And that's. The abridged version of our headspace? Still pretty long.

Wow that turned into a PROPER infodump- sorry most of it was just innerworld stuff

Uhhh ask us anything!

this is an official request for any and all systems / plural folk to info dump about their plurality to us

[fuzzyfeatheredcas]

Stray Kids || We’re Happy You Wandered

I did something I never thought I could *dances around jumps for joy screams heart out* I’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to expectations. But I’m so happy I got this next Chapter of the Assassin AU done.

••••••

A few weeks after recruiting Minho

••••••

It was finally summer. Well, almost summer. It was spring, still chilly, even tho it was almost July. Nevertheless, it was just right, perfect weather that was worth sneaking off to relish in. That's exactly what Felix and Seungmin were going to do.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Felix held Seungmin close as he guided them through their courtyard, currently occupied by everyone. "How will we even be able to get out?"

"I have the perfect idea. I've noticed the weather has been getting nicer, so I've made an effort to collect things that can help us get out for a bit." Seungmin said, and Felix looked up at him with a questioning look.

"And what might that be?"

"I've been collecting guard gear." The words were said so casually, almost as if it was something he's been doing regularly for years.

"What?" Felix recoiled a bit, but Seungmin still dragged him on towards the little secret area they usually confided in when they needed some alone time. "How in all of hell did you manage to do that."

Seungmin looked at the older, "Well, we don't have the brightest bunch of people at our compound. I'm honestly surprised we aren't all dead yet." Felix hummed and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that's true. They won't ever find out about anything, and they probably won't even make an effort to at all. Lazy asses."

"Let's be happy this place sucks, it makes it somewhat easier for us to do things like this. Nice things." Seungmin pulled back the wall that led to their hidden room. "Which is why they won't ever suspect us not being guards. Hell, they don't even have name tags or numbers, and they barely have ID here. I don't understand how they keep everyone in check in this place, especially the teams." Seungmin sighed. "For once, I'm happy we're not cared about."

Even though the thought of not being cared for hurt, Felix had to admit, sometimes it was good that a blind eye was turned to everyone. He was happy they weren't worth anything that needed to be worried about, for once. "So, what's the plan."

"Tonight, we will take off towards the exit and entrance gates. The only place that guards and teams are allowed out and in from. We'll be wearing these," Seungmin holds up their standard camo soldier gear and the big bulky black helmets that accompanied the suit. "They won't suspect a thing because, as I said, they don't have any proof that we aren't guards. And why would they just suddenly want to see under their 'teammates' helmets? They've never needed proof before."

Felix sat back in astonishment. "Wow Seungmin, you're really prepared. And you analyze the flow of this compound really well too! All for a little walk outside." He looked down. "Will we be able to take our helmets off to truly feel the night?"

The younger nodded. "We're going to go out far enough that no one will be able notice us. That's when we'll take off the helmets." Felix smiled at that. He can't wait to get out of here for a little bit.

"Well, let's continue with our day then, and we will come back before sunset tonight to get ready." Both of the boys got up and made their way out of the hideout. Oh, how they loved it there. It was their only area of comfort, but it was all they needed at the end of the day.

•••••••••

Dusk struck rather quickly, its golden glow washing over the, now vacant, grass-covered courtyard. The two men managed to excuse themselves from dinner earlier, and made their way back towards where the gear was being kept. 

"I'm so excited!" Felix whispered, jumping up and down beside Seungmin as they walked. "The stars are going to look so nice tonight." The older looked up, observing the cloudless sky hanging overhead. "There's not a cloud in the sky that's going to block our view."

The younger was too wrapped up in sorting things out to listen to Felix much as they made it to their little hideout again. "Okay, when you get in there just start dressing right away. I wanna try to get out a little bit earlier." Felix nodded, and danced into the room as the door opened. His hand immediately went towards what he needed when he reached the pile.

After about ten minutes, (there are a lot of stupid buckles on the gear so bear with them) the two had finally finished getting ready. Seungmin immediately headed for the door once the last buckle was clasped, Felix following close behind him. "Come on, let's go." And they were off.

The managed to make it to the guard path from the courtyard without being noticed, lucky for them. They marched their way along up to the gate, where they were then questioned as to why they wanted to leave. Seungmin panicked and told them it was protocol, deepening his voice as he said it. Surprisingly, the gate keeper accepted this response, and the gates were opened for them. The two men had to stop themselves from jumping for joy as they kept their act on, marching into the outside world. To freedom.

As they walked further away, Felix started observing the sights. "Wow. Look at that!" Felix spun around, eyes up to the sky when they made it far enough away from the compound. "This is so nice." He took his helmet off, tossing it aside. They has settled upon a patch of soft grass, Seungmin already resting in it, his helmet discarded by his side.

"I know right, so beautiful." The younger assassin fell back into the grass, closing his eyes and crossing his legs. He found comfort in the scrape of Felix's shoes on the gravel dirt road and his little hum that followed in rhythm. He knew he was spinning around again, like an innocent child on a warm summer's day. He continued this for a while as Seungmin relaxed.

After a short nap and a half-an-hour of just laying there, Seungmin decided that they needed to go home; he didn't want them to be out too long. He then noticed that Felix's humming and the scraping of his shoes abruptly stopped. The other looked up, only to find his friend frozen, like a deer in head lights. Up ahead, a wall of men stood before them, guns in hand, stances blazing with strength and suspicion. Seungmin jumped up out of instinct, but didn't move more than that as his eyes wandered between the men and his partner. "Felix, it's okay, stay clam." He could see the older's frame shake through its stiffness. "Back up slowly towards me, and close your eyes." He tried his best to whisper. The other was not far away, he just needed him closer. He needed to be able to touch him in order to know they were safe together.

"I suggest not doing that, son." A man from the line spoke, clutching his gun even tighter. "Don't move. We have you surrounded."

Seungmin spoke for the two of them, "Please, we were just getting back to our compound. Just leave us alone, we are not a disturbance."

"You aren't guards, are you." Another man said, almost matter-of-factly. He was already on to them. "They might be the ones we're looking for. If they're not, they'll still be of good use to us. Get 'em anyway."

Seungmin took four big steps towards Felix as the men approached them from every angle. The boy grabbed his friend and pulled him towards his chest, breaking him out of his trance. "Seungmin- we're gonna die!"

"No we aren't, hyung. Whatever you do, don't stop trying to fight." They knew they weren't a match for all those armed men, but it was worth a shot.

As soon as hands collided, they began to fight. Grunts and the scuffing of shoes were all that could be heard as the two boys pushed and tried to squirm out of the mens' grips. It was getting them no where, and more and more hands were gripping onto them and not letting go. Soon enough, they found themselves being cuffed, black fabric bags thrown over their heads to block their visions.

Felix was about ready to collapse into a heap of gasps and tears on the floor, while Seungmin managed to keep a little bit of his cool. A man walked up to the group that had Felix. "We could have done this easier." Felix felt fingers against his stomach, and he folded over with a muffled shout, weakening him. The men picked him up easily, throwing him into the back of a truck that had pulled up to the scene.

Seungmin put up a fight when he felt the group shift to move and drag him along too. He, too, felt fingers rush along his body, weakening him as he pulled away from the touches, allowing the men to drag him to the truck easily as well.

They sat in silence the whole ride to... wherever they were going. Seungmin's stomach still tingled with those ticklish touches he was given, and he wondered why they did that. He wondered what tactics they used there. What they were going to do to them and why they were being taken.

When they were almost there, the bags were taken off of them. Seungmin squinted as his eyes made contact with the light shining in the back of the truck where they were seated. Felix's head dropped even further to shade his face, his shoulders rising to protect his cold neck.

"Almost there boys." The man beside Seungmin said. The boy side eyed the guy, why was he talking so casually? Like everything was okay?

"I saw that side eye," the man pointed out, almost jokingly, and Seungmin just rolled his eyes. He swore he saw the man pout. "Well if you wanna be like that." Then he was folding over, involuntary squeals slipping out of him as the man attacked his side. What was going on?

"I see that you're using what we taught you out on the battle field." Another man said. "I'm liking what I see." Seungmin could hear the man's smirk in his voice.

"Plehehehehease stohohohohop." Seungmin begged, leaning away from the touch and into Felix, who was now looking wide-eyed at the situation unfolding on top of him. "Ihihihi'm sohohorry!"

"Are you sure about that?" The man asked, happy that they were dealing with ticklish people. Boss will be happy about this.

"Yehehehehe- YEHEHEHES PLEASE!" Seungmin's chest hit his thighs when he felt the man's hand wander over to his hip. He tugged at the hand cuffs, trying to break free so he could protect himself somehow.

"Oh alright," the hands left him, and he slumped down from his tense position. "We don't wanna tire you out too soon." The man met Felix's eyes with a wink, and the younger couldn't help but blush and turn away. stupid hot man.

"S-so is that like you're way of doing things around here?" Felix managed to say after a few moments of silence.

"It is. The Chief kinda started it up when he recruited our boss. It was an accidental find, but it work really well with him. Then of course he decided to continue using the strategy when it kept working." Felix tried not to squirm in his seat, but he couldn't help but feel his face heat up at that. Tickling? No way.

"Why, does someone enjoy it?" The guard teased, raising an eyebrow at the blushing assassin.

"W-what? No. Absolutely not." Felix shot out, a little to defensively for his liking.

"If you say so. Either way, you'll still crack, whether you like it or not." Felix just sat there, still as ever, not daring to make one move. He would have kept that up if it wasn't for the hand that suddenly squeezed his knee. Felix jerked his knee out of the way, a small gasp leaving his lips. "Just needed to make sure."

"Felix, we're doomed." Seungmin softly grunted out as he leaned his head against his shoulder. "Absolutely doomed."

••••••

When they made it inside the new compound, they were having a hard time figuring out whether it was a hotel or not. The place was so clean, too well kept to be, well, a compound. A place where people get tortured? Interrogated? It didn't seem right.

"This - is a compound?" Felix couldn't help but blurt out, looking around at the green plants and clean brown pots they were kept in, set on each table they passed. The hallways were perfect, walls white, paint smooth. Everything was right, but so wrong at the same time.

"Come on guys, this way." The men led the two assassins to an elevator. Wow, they even had an elevator.

"Why did you take those bags off our heads anyway? I expected to be knocked out and dragged to a room, not given a tour of the building I was kidnapped to." Seungmin eyed the elevator door as it opened. "So different. So odd."

"It's sad that our norms are odd to all outsiders. It shows that a lot of harsh treatments are given. We are trying to change that, for the better." The guard said, guiding them into the lift.

"Who even are you?" Felix asked.

The man shook his head, feeling dumb that he hadn't introduced himself to them yet. "Oh, sorry, my name is Minho. I actually work for the boss I was talking about earlier. Decided I wanted to work with the outside world more than inside here like the rest of them want to."

"Rest of them?" Seungmin couldn’t believe everything he was hearing.

"Yup! There are four of us so far, including me. About to be six." He informed them, a sparkle in his voice. It took a second for Seungmin to register what he just said, Felix too.

"You're going to recruit us?" Felix's jaw almost dropped the the floor, his shock in sync with the ding of the elevator as it opened for them, revealing the floor marked with a big sign at the entrance of the hallway: Interrogation Area. Wow, what a way to be informed. They were practically walking themselves to their dooms.

"Yup." The answer slipped out of Minho's mouth in a simple manner. His eyes practically said, 'and it's going to be very easy to make you agree'. A chill ran through both boys' spines.

"Oh no." Seungmin whispered to himself.

A big, bubbly hello swept through the hallway as the group of three stepped into it. Minho turned back to wave the other two guards that joined them upstairs goodbye. "Ah! I see you've brought the right boys!" A taller, longer haired man smiled big and wide as he took in the sight of the two new people. "Good, I'm so very glad."

"I was telling them all about how we do things here." Minho smiled just as excitedly as he took his place beside the other man. "Boys, this is Hyunjin."

"H-hi," Felix piped up, his right hand coming up from behind his back to wave at the other, the left hand following in the cuffs.

"Aw, you cuffed them?" Hyunjin turned to Minho in disappointment. "You probably scared the babies to death. Poor things."

Seungmin's eyes narrowed at the man when he said that. "Excuse you but we are not babies. We can handle ourselves fine."

Hyunjin smirked at him, "I'm guessing he was the stubborn one?"

"You're right he was!"

"Now. Let's take you to a room, shall we?" Hyunjin clapped, and turned to walk towards wherever he was bringing them. The two others stood still, to shocked to move. "Uh oh, are we gonna have to do this the hard way?" Hyunjin said when he turned back around.

"I-I-" Felix could barely speak at that point. He didn't know what to think. Hyunjin simply stepped up to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him forward. He walked. Seungmin on the other hand, didn't follow.

"I will not allow myself to be treated like this." He leaned against the wall he was beside. "Absolutely no way."

Minho sighed and rolled his eyes before walking toward the other, smiling when his eyes went wide. "I know you're regretting the decision to be stubborn now are you?" Seungmin backed up and Minho followed him, latching his hands on his waist. The assassin shrieked softly as leaned forward, his head almost hitting Minho's chest. "At this point I feel like you just want me to do this to you. Maybe I'll just recruit you as a tickle toy for the group. How's that?" Minho kept pinching his sides, relishing in the adorable laughter that followed after.

"Ahahahah! Plehease, dohohon't do this to mehehehehe!" Seungmin whined, pushing himself more into the wall. "I'm scared!" He finally blurred out.

Minho stopped, "you're scared?" Seungmin nodded, his face heating up.

"It was so bad over there, and, um, it's hard to trust people now." He continued. "And compounds too. Especially other compounds and teams. They're brutal."

Minho's eyes filled with sympathy as he placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "Believe me, we all didn't want to be here at first. I had to be convinced too. I had been stuck in this compound all night. Failed my escape. That's why I've been trying my hardest to give you the warm and comfortable welcome you deserve. Something I didn't get." It was Seungmin's turn to be surprised. “So, yeah, sorry about those handcuffs.”

"You-you care?" His voice was almost a whimper. Minho couldn't believe how broken the man was, and how broken their world was too.

"Of course we do." He smiled, placing a hand on Seungmin’s shoulder. "Now, will you come with me to the room?"

The other nodded, still scared, but more ready. Minho took his arm in his and walked to a door up ahead, still open from when the other two walked through it earlier.

The first thing Seungmin's eyes met with were two new faces accompanying Felix and Hyunjin.

Seungmin stopped in his tracks as Minho closed the door and walked towards the four of them, smiling widely. "Welcome back!" One of them said, eyes sparkling. Seungmin had to admit, he was kinda cute. "I see you brought the two we were looking for!"

"I did! My second successful night out."

"We are very proud of you." The man turned to Seungmin, still smiling. "Hi Seungmin, I'm Chan, also known as boss. It's very nice to meet you." 

"H-hi." The younger smiled sheepishly, bowing his head slightly.

"So, are we doing this the usual way or not?" Chan said with a clap of his hands. "It seems like you've done things differently than we did with Changbin and Hyunjin."

A shorter, bolder man a few feet away from him crossed his arms, "Yeah, lucky asses. Still can't believe you knocked us out."

"That was before we had Minho guiding the hunt team. Of course he's gonna do things differently." Chan turned to Felix. "Now, you seem willing, but I'm not too sure."

Felix's eyes widened at that, looking to Seungmin with pleading eyes. He hated being put on the spot. "Ihi, um, I guess?"

"You guess?" Changbin said with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know what you're asking exactly."

"Oh," Chan nodded. "We want you to be on our team." Felix gasped a little, remembering Minho's little about to be six thing and leaned back a little into his chair. He turned to Seungmin again, who was shaking his head at him. There was no way he was letting them stay. He didn't care that this place was all nice-nice. He didn’t care about Minho’s speech. It was probably fake, they would show their true, horrendous colours after they agreed.

"I-I don't think we can." Felix's voice came out quietly as he spoke. "We can't trust you." He felt a finger delicately swipe along the back of his neck, shrugging his shoulders at the feeling.

"Please don't make us do this the hard way." Felix looked towards Seungmin again, eyes even more pleading, but the older still had no in his eyes.

"Come on Seungmin!" Felix whined. Seungmin shook his head.

"Nope, absolutely not. No way. I don't care what they do, I can't trust them."

Chan sighed, a hand on his head, before motioning for the other three to get started. They always had to be stubborn didn't they? Despite the atmosphere of this place too!

"No, wait!" Felix kicked out as two sets of hands began to grab him, getting rid of the cuffs around his wrists and dragging him onto a table. Seungmin watched in horror as Chan and Changbin started towards him. He knew he had no where to go, and no hands to use, but he had to try to fight.

As soon as they reached him, he knew he had lost. Fingers ran across his stomach and sides and he had no choice but to double over, his shrieks mixing with Felix's screams as the other two set to work on him.

"Stohohohop tickling me! It ihihihihisn't fahahahair!" Seungmin squirmed in their hold, trying his hardest not to let them drag him along. "PleheheheHEASE PLEASE!" Changbin picked him up over his shoulder and walked him to a table, setting him down on it. Chan grabbed his arms firmly.

"It's either you cooperate, or we add force."

"Why the hell would I cooperate with this treatment?" Seungmin's question showed in his eyes too as he stared questioningly at the two, wondering if they were actually that stupid. The other two said nothing and fought his hands as they took the cuffs off him, pushing him into the table and securing him there. Seungmin's caught a glimpse of Felix, who was still fighting with the other two.

"Stop! Let me go!" Felix screamed. There was no way he was letting himself be immobilized on this table. He felt hands dig into his armpit and his twisted, falling hard against the table. "NohohohoHOHO!" His other arm was lifted up and strapped down, his other arm receiving the same treatment. "This is gonna suhuhuck!"

"We gave you an option to agree right away. I don't know why you didn't just take it." Hyunjin told him as he fought with his leg, squeezing the boy's thigh instead to make him kick out towards the strap. "Ouuuu ticklish legs too. I'm excited for this."

"Nononono! NO!" Felix laid back in defeat when his right leg was strapped in place, not putting up a fight for the other one. He already lost. And so did Seungmin. Quicker than he did. He was already strapped down completely.

"Now boys, I'm gonna ask you again, are you sure you don't wanna just agree?" Chan looked between the two tables, both assassins were looking away. "Very well." He shrugged. “It’s always the same story. Funny, how every compound in our area sucks and causes people to not trust anyone.”

There were grunts of agreement, but they were not nearly as loud as the struggling boys strapped to their tables. Hyunjin looked over to their table, "I honeslty think stubborn over there likes this, so keep that in mind." Seungmin's face burned red as he hung his mouth open in shock and betrayal. Hyunjin turned back to Felix, "And you do too." He whispered mischievously, causing him to blush.

"How dare you say such a thihihihing!" Seungmin felt his body twist itself to get away from the hands on his hips. His body flailed from one side of the table to the other, too much for Chan's liking.

"You know what," Chan hopped up onto the table and straddled him. "If we're gonna change things up around here, why not change technique too. Close and personal." He said as he scribbled along Seungmin's stomach, Changbin quick to work on his thighs.

Seungmin's just threw his head back and laughed, having no where to go. "AHAHAHAHAHA- AGH!"

"So, is it true? Do you like this?" Changbin asked over his screams, making the assassin's face turn even more red (if that was even possible).

Chan smirked, skittering his fingers lightly under Seungmin's thin white t-shirt. That made him tense up and giggle, his face scrunching up with a grunt when Chan moved along his sides. "This never gets boring. Like, ever. I could do this all day."

"Ihihihi couldn't!" Seungmin squealed out, cackling when Chan lifted his shirt more, drumming his legs on the table. "Shihihit! AH! Nohoho not there!" The younger boy's arms closed, elbows hitting together as Chan move upward towards his ribs.

Meanwhile, on the other table, Hyunjin had also jumped up on top of Felix, and was attacking his armpits as Minho held his elbows down to the table. "LEHEHET GOHOHO!" Felix whined, tears of mirth already in his eyes. Hyunjin stopped tickling to pull up his sleeves, and Felix couldn't help but stare at him.

He looked down at him, his long hair semi-covering his eyes, "you like what you see?" He asked, his eyes glistening and his smile wide. Felix rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't roll my eyes if I were you." He let his hands fall along Felix's sides, moving down to untuck his t-shirt, slipping his hands under it and on to his bare skin.

Felix breathed in heavily, the sensation was unbearable. “This is - so unfair!” Felix kicked out as much as his restraints left his when Hyunjin’s hands fell lightly down the dip of his hip and up to his lower rib. “Oh my god oh my god oh my gahad! You’re so ehehevil! NOHO!”

Chan smiled down at Seungmin. “Felix seems to be having fun, are you?” Seungmin twisted to the side, throwing his head under his right arm, almost lifting Chan upwards.

“No, I’m vehehery much nohohot!” Seungmin’s body shot to the left when he felt Chan’s fingers go for his left side. “NO-” Seungmin lost it when hands were placed on either side of him. He couldn’t move anywhere for relief. “AHAHHAHA! I wanna say yehehes but I cAN’T TRUST YOUHUHUHU!”

Seungmin squirmed and squirmed and squirmed, hoping to god felix wouldn’t give in. That he wouldn’t stay. But his calls weren’t answered.

“AHA OKAY OKAY! I GIVE I GIVE!” The scream echoed through the room.

Hyunjin’s hands dropped away from him. “This was fun, but not fun enough. I think we should like let them run out of the room and chase them everywhere.”

Changbin doubled over laughing. “That’s soho mean!”

Felix was heaving under their stares, not knowing whether to cry or be happy. So he did both.

Hyunjin frowned when he saw his tears. “Nono, none of that.” He wiped some tears away. “Minho cried too, you know.”

“Hey! Not fair.” Followed with a hit in the arm, and an attempted poke back from Minho.

Hyunjin continued. “Like, I can’t believe he got lost in our compound.” He laughed so hard he leaned onto Felix’s chest, who was now laughing as well as Minho annoyingly released his arms.

“That is actually very funny.” Felix chimed in.

“Don’t start, or your arms are gonna go back in those straps.” Felix shut up after that. Hyunjin got up off him when his legs were released, helping him down off the table. “Now now, I see that Seungmin still hasn’t budged.”

Seungmin huffed, “Well, I kinda have to now since Felix decided he wanted to.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“Hyung, they’re literally tickling us as a form of persuasion. You know what we got at our compound and would have gotten anywhere else? Burning coals, drugs, weeks without food, deprivation of all kinds!” Felix grabbed Seungmin’s still bound hands. “Here is okay, we’ll be okay.”

Seungmin didn’t even think before he said, “Okay, fine. But if we die that’s on you!”

Felix played with his fingers, rolling his eyes. “Wow, you’re so mean to me.”

“And then there were six!” Chan jumped off the table and did a little dance. Felix untied Seungmin with help from Changbin.

Minho smiled to himself. “Same old same old. This persuasion technique works so well.”

Let’s just say everyone was absolutely loving it there.

[xneens]

i do

Warning: language, major character death, violence, angst

Word count: 3.4k

Summary: Soulmate AU where the last words you will ever hear from your soulmate is written on your wrist so you won't know it's them until you've lost them.

Staring at the words on your wrist, you held back another sigh, tracing the black ink with your finger, dread and sadness washing over you. You shuddered at the words, unable to rid of the lump in your throat.

I do.

Born with the words on your wrist, no one knew when they would meet their soulmates, unknown to who your other half was until they died. It was cruel, knowing the last thing they'll say to you would cause you immense pain. Horror stories stemmed from the agonies of other's pain, movies made out of the tales that would become famous.

Some, those who were protective of their hearts, buried themselves away from others, but fate always led them to their soulmate. No matter how short the time would be stretching from the duration of your life to a single second before you'd lose them. The best outcome to happen was when two lovers let go, and spend their lives together, to die at when they were to, finding out they had spent their lives with their one and only. That possibility was becoming more and more realistic with modern technology and wishful thinking.

Yet, there was some tragedies. The unfortunate ones would have their sentences written on their wrist, knowing they'd only know their soulmate for a short time, or not at all. “It's nice to meet you.” "What's your name?" "Can I get your number?" "Sounds like a date." Not knowing them at all was, to most, was worse than to know them at all.

A few rare situations when your soulmate would die young. Parents told horror stories, reading the words off their kid's wrist. "We're playing dodgeball in gym!" "I didn't do my math homework." "You can come to my birthday party. I'm turning seven next week!"

Then there were the most terrifying stories. They were the ones turned into thrillers, a real life story turned into a disrespectful horror movie. They'd lose each other, aware there was nothing they could do. "I thought you locked the door." "I don't think we're alone." "Behind you!" "Someone's in the house."

Thankful none of the situations applied to you, you still couldn't get the words branded in your wrist out of your head. It lingered, whispering the last words before your heart would be torn, only healed when death came for you. Some looked on the positive side, knowing meeting their soulmate was inevitable.

Natasha broke you out of your reverie as she tackled you down on the mat, leaving you breathless at the sudden attack, confused to how you've become acquaintances with the ground. You spit your hair out, grimacing in disgust as a few strays stuck to your lips. With your hands tied behind your back, and crushed against the former assassin's body, you turned your attention on her smug smile, glaring daggers.

"Okay, get off before Tony pictures us scissoring again." you grunted, too tired to push her off of you. Natasha laughed, letting your wrists go as she shifted her weight off of you, sitting next to you on the thick mat. You rolled onto your back, closing your eyes in exhaustion. "That was unnecessary, Nat."

Spending the day at the gym with Natasha seemed like a good idea after being beaten by Clint the day before. You knew you were getting rusty, without all the life threatening missions and people to save, your skills wasn't needed. Besides, you loved yourself too much for Steve to convince you to join him on his suicide runs. He woke up before the sun rose, and it only took a few runs to realize that even you couldn't keep up with his fast pace. ("Although, I would love to see his fast pace in the bedroom. Ow, Sam!")

After tying the score—despite the lack of training, you and Natasha still tied when it came to hand to hand combat—you had sat down on the bench, which was now sweaty, and sulked, sighing over the words written on your wrist.

Natasha rolled her eyes, leaning on her elbows as she eyed your expression, eyes narrowing when you didn't return her smile. "What's with the sad face? Are you thinking about your soulmate mark again?"

"You know I only allow myself to think about it once every other month." you replied. Natasha made a noise in respond but you ignored it. "Shut up, I know I'm pathetic. No need to voice your opinions."

"You're not pathetic, just compassionate." she whispered, her eyes sparkling with remembrance. Natasha had lost her soulmate on a mission a few years before the Avengers were formed, but it didn't stop her from living her life. You hoped you could follow her path when the horrid time came. "Out of curiosity, if you had to guess, do you think you've met your soulmate by now?"

You've given it much thought, coming up with a good theory that even Tony Stark would be impressed by. Of course, you didn't share it with anyone, giving Nat the simplified version of it. "With the amount of people I've met, I like to think so."

The playful smirk returned to her lips, a wiggle of her eyebrows as she digested your words. "And do you think a certain blond, big-hearted, super soldier might be it?"

You reached for the nearest water bottle, throwing it at her only to have it hit the wall behind her as she dodged it. Natasha laughed, putting distance between you, sensing an attack. You scowled at her but it lacked real annoyance. "Oh my, God. I have, like, the smallest crush on him and you're already planning our children's proms."

"I'm thinking: under the sea." Natasha joked, grinning when the corner of your lips curled up. The both of you burst out laughing, thinking about Natasha in a ridiculous kid-friendly dress as she chaperoned yours and Steve's future offsprings.

As if summoned, Steve chose that moment to enter the training room, freezing in his tracks when he saw you and Natasha cackling. His expression made Natasha double back into another round of laughter while yours subsided in giggles. Steve cleared his throat, looking down as a slight blush decorated his face.

He murmured your name, walking up towards you, his blue eyes eyeing the ground with too much interest. "Did you hear about the party Tony is making all of us go to?"

Natasha stopped laughing immediately, jaw clenching at Tony's betrayal. They had a truce where Natasha would stop hacking into his system to play Spice Girls—with the help of Bruce, of course—and Tony was to stop throwing parties every month. It's been three months since the last party, the one where Natasha has almost killed the billionaire. Tony couldn't hold off any longer. She stood. "I'm going to kill him."

Before either of you could get a word in, Natasha was already out the door, her stance deadly as Tony Stark awaited his death. The door slammed close behind her as Steve sat down beside you on the mat, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

You admired his ruffled hair, blond strands hanging down on his forehead. You had mentioned to him that he looked sexier with his long hair, and it seemed like he was following your advice. Dressed in a simple black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, Steve Rogers was every girl's waking fantasy. It truly was unfair how good he could look in sweats.

"Hey." you greeted, smiling sweetly at him. Being happy around Steve was as easy as giving Pepper Potts presents. He returned the smile, grinning from ear to ear as he looked away, his cheeks reddening even more. "What can I do for you, Stevie?"

"Thor wanted to have some kind of Asgardian contest that may or may not level the top floor. I thought you might want to do something else, have a peaceful night instead of risking our lives to one of Thor's games?" he asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Not letting excitement cloud your senses, you grew cautious, eyes narrowing as you looked around the room, trying to search for a hidden camera that would allow Tony to get you back from ruining his thousand-dollar crocs. Steve Rogers was not asking you out in no way.

Steve saw your expression, quickly backing off. "Only if you want to. I'm sure you missed Thor and all. It's okay, I can suffer a few third degree burns—"

"No!" you shouted, making Steve flinch at the suddenness. You cleared your throat, cheeks heating up. "Uh, I mean, yeah. I wouldn't mind missing the party. Where did you plan on going?"

Slightly surprised, a smile crept on his lips. He ran a hand across his face to hide the cheeky grin. "Wherever you want to go."

You threw him a smile, unhealthily giddy. If Clint were here to comment, he'd compare you to a happy school girl with a massive crush. "Oh. Okay."

A voice interrupted the short silence, scaring both you and Steve. You suspected the AI, Friday, had been invested in your conversation. "If I may make a suggestion, I advise you both to leave sometime in the next hour before Mr. Stark ropes you in. I'm inclined to think Mr. Stark won't be above blackmail."

"Thank you, Friday." you murmured. The AI said it's goodbye, far too amused for your liking.

Steve got up, offering his hand for you. Both of you were smiling like idiots, cheeks hurting from the too-big smiles that adorned your faces. You had a suspicion you somewhat embodied a clown. The super-solider kept his hand wrapped around yours. "Would you like to leave at this moment, or get changed?"

You shook your head, liking the warmth of his touch. "I'm good. Let's leave."

Steve Rogers was a gentleman, that was confirmed by his acts and the influence of being raised right. Despite that fact, he was a savage in the bedroom. Or half the time, out of the bedroom. You had been surprised, yet pleased, when you fell into his bed halfway through the second unofficial date. After that night, Steve finally built the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend—a term he found silly but otherwise a happy milestone.

After years of being friends, Steve was ready to begin the rest of your lives together. No one was surprised, besides you, that he had proposed three months after the first official date. Being head over heels, you excitedly agreed, only to blanch when Tony started a petition to let him plan the wedding with you. Pepper had stopped him.

No one knew what happened the night of Thor's and Tony's party. Though, Steve made a smart choice to ditch it when you both found a floor of the tower littered with blackened metals and slightly burnt walls. The team wouldn't speak of the incident, not that neither you or Steve cared. You had both been too jubilant to interrogate them.

The wedding day came. Steve had been stopped by Thor, failing to sneak into the room you were in. No matter how strong he was, Thor wouldn't allow any bad luck to happen especially after you had lied to him about naming your firstborn after him. Steve tried, and failed, to tell him you weren't going to name his son after the God of Thunder. Bucky was too busy arguing with Sam about the flower decoration to help out Thor.

Dressed in the lavender bridesmaid dress, Natasha burst into the room, a smile adorning her face. She had thanked you multiple times for not dressing her in those ugly dresses she had seen on Pinterest. "You getting cold feet yet?"

"Mine are toasty warm." you mumbled, hands trembling at the thought of declaring your love in front of a crowd. You wondered if it was too late to get ear plugs so no one would hear all the gooey, cheesy vows you would utter to Steve.

"Very convincing." Natasha teased, taking a shot of the wine laid out on the table. Placing the flute down, she eyed the door, prepared to attack Steve if he managed to get away from Thor. "Alright, what're you worried about?"

You bit your lip, messing up the fresh layer of lip gloss Pepper had put on. Glancing out the window, you saw the crowd settling down in there chairs. The anxiety built up inside you. "Um, falling down the aisle. Accidentally saying the wrong name. Messing up in my vows. Dying of embarrassment."

"You'll be great, I promise. No one's going to die. You won't trip because Tony wouldn't let you. You won't say the wrong name because Steve's is practically implanted in your brain and you'll be too busy staring into his ocean blue eyes that you won't mess up. Now, are you still worried?" she asked, laughing when you managed to trip over your wedding dress.

"If anything, Tony's going to purposely trip me." you muttered, tempted to take a swig of some liquid courage, but the fetus in you held you back. The ceremony would start soon, and being too nervous, you hadn't eaten any breakfast. It was probably a good thing considering the nausea you were feeling. Why call it morning sickness when it didn't happen in the morning?

"You're being paranoid, everything will be great." she sighed, turning to the window, staring directly at the green hybrid. The Bruce and Natasha thing was unsurprising but kind of weird, especially with the whole sex thing. You had gagged at the thought of Bruce trying to fit inside of Natasha, and stopped altogether. "I'll be right back, I gotta do something."

She left the room before you could address her, groaning when she left a tiny crack in the door. Natasha knew how much it annoyed you when people left the door open when you originally had it closed. Heaving a sigh, you went to close the door, only to be met by a small force. Steve stuck his head through opening, his worried frown turning into a dazzling grin as he spotted you.

Without a word, he took you in his arms, his hand cupping your cheek as he pressed a quick kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, closing the door behind him as your arms wrapped around his neck.

You pulled away, wiping the lip gloss smeared across his lips. Steve did the same, smirking at his handy work. "Hello, Mrs. Rogers. How do you feel?"

"Like I want to tangle myself around you in every way possible." you whispered, pressing another kiss to his lips. Steve chuckled, his thumb drawing small circles on your back. "How about you, Husband?"

"I've been waiting for this day for a very long time. You can't imagine how jovial I am." said Steve. He gave your nose a quick peck, and you giggled. "I know it's suppose to be bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony but I couldn't bear it."

Giggling, you pulled him closer, your lips meeting his neck as you sucked softly at the sensitive skin. "Hmm, I can't wait until I'm officially yours. Do you think we have time for a quickie? It'd really help with my wedding nerves."

Steve laughed, but the sound came out a little breathless. Even with the thickness of the wedding gown, you could feel him on your hip, smirking when he shifted. "While that's a very tempting offer, both Natasha and Pepper would kill me for ripping apart this beautiful dress."

"But Steve—" your whine was cut off by Natasha pulling Steve out of your arms.

The redhead glared at him, pushing him towards the opened door. "You, out, now."

"I'll see you—" Steve began to say, only to be cut off when the door slammed in his face. Natasha turned to turn her death stare on you.

"Look at your makeup. I can't believe he snuck in here with Thor on his ass." Natasha complained, pushing you towards the vanity, quickly applying the tube of lip gloss on your lips. You blinked back the tears as she practically poke your eye with the mascara wand, trying to fix Steve's touch on your slightly smeared mascara. "You look like you're going to puke."

You shook your head, taking a deep breath. "I'm good. Where's Tony?"

"Right here." he answered, entering with a velvet box in his hand. The billionaire set it down on the vanity before eyeing your stance. "Wow, you look ..."

"Like I'm gonna throw up all over Steve's suit?" you finished, panic rising.

"I was going to say gorgeous but now that you mention it, you do look a little green." he teased, earning himself a nudge from Natasha. Tony rubbed his ribs. "If you want to ditch, I have the car running in case you want to make a quick getaway."

You rolled your eyes, wishing you hadn't let him talk you into such a big wedding. All you wished at the moment was to take Steve with you and elope. "Thanks for the offer but I'm good. Let's get this over with."

"And here I thought you weren't romantic." Tony joked, handing you the bouquet of flowers.

Natasha checked her watch, the music audible. Morgan, the flower girl was already walking down the aisle along with Pepper's nephew on her heels. The former assassin opened the door, grinning. "Wait a few seconds before you follow me."

And with that, she walked down the short hall before stepping outside, the aisle was cleared by flowers adorning the sides. Weeping willow branches hung down from the huge tree, creating an illusion of fantasy, the little arch at the end of the aisle was created of leaves and even more colorful flowers. You were surprised no one was sneezing with the amount of pollen.

You took Tony's arm, taking another deep breath. Looking at him, you swore he was a bit proud. He smiled at you. "I hope you know I take full credit for the union of your two souls."

Ignoring his mini jab, you raised an eyebrow. "And how so?"

"There was never a party." he informed, grinning cheekily. He pulled you towards the opened door, walking down the hall. "I made it all up so Rogers would get the balls to finally ask you out."

"Then what the hell happened to the tower?" you asked, confused. People were beginning to stand but your curiosity became more important than your nerves.

Tony winked. "That's for me to know, and for you to dot dot dot."

"God, you're such a nerd." you mumbled, turning your attention ahead as your feet hit the white carpet that moonlighted as the aisle. The nerves began to bubble, and you gripped his arm tighter in fear of falling face first.

The ceremony was a blur, Steve just as nervous as you had been, becoming more and more braver as he spoke his vows. By the end of it, you could barely see him through the tears brimming your eyes. If it wasn't for the waterproof makeup, you were sure you would've cried your face off.

You had just finished your vows when the priest had asked if you would gladly wed the man in front of you for the rest of forever. You whispered a soft "I do."

The priest turned to Steve, the super-soldier happy beyond belief. He asked him the previous question he had asked you. Yet, Steve, being eager, had almost cut him off near the end.

His eyes bored into yours, filled with love and warmth. "I do."

Then everything turned black.

You awoke in the Medbay, needles puncturing your arm, a tube tied to your nose. Every single inch of your skin hurt, your eyelids heavy as you opened your eyes, only to close them once again when the bright fluorescents shone. You felt someone squeeze your hand, a finger brushing along your wrist.

Turning your head, you glance at the person, finding out it was Tony. While he was relieved you were awake, something in his eyes made you believe he wished he had more time to prepare you for the worst. At the moment he uttered those words, you wished your ears had been damaged in whatever hell Hydra had dropped on your wedding.

"Steve's dead."

[whumperooni]

Hii!! If you're up for it, could you write something about Katsuki-nii? I just wanna be his wittle wife, stealing his clothes, being bred full of his cum, constantly hanging of his arm and talking about how much I love him. People might think we're too close for siblings, but they know better than to say anything, just like i know better than to be anything but Katsuki-nii's good little sister-wife.👉👈💕

Despite being one of my favorite characters, I haven’t written Katsuki before so please be gentle! o( _ _ )o

tags/warnings: tw incest, a smidge of jealousy and possessiveness and insecurity, aged up characters 

You hear the whispers. You always do.

“She’s here again?”

“What kind of adult woman still makes lunch for her older brother?”

“Isn’t it kind of weird? I mean...why is she always over him like that? And the way she dresses...it’s like...”

“Don’t they live with each other? That’s a bit strange, right?”

They whisper. They whisper, but they never really give voice to the uncomfortable thoughts and suspicions clouding their minds and filling their drum, dull days with the scandals they crave.

They whisper and you? You don’t listen.

You don’t need to listen- they don’t matter, their opinions don’t matter, the stares and gossip and mindless speculation don’t matter.

The only person who matters is Katsuki and, to a lesser degree, yourself.

Why should you care about others when your shining light- your sun, your heart, your darling big brother- is there to eclipse them with all his love and adoration?

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

“Don’t you think they’re a little too close?”

More whispers, more gossip, more nosy busybodies trying to forget their own troubles by trying to bury themselves in you and your brother’s life.

It’s sad, really.

You ignore the raised brows and mouths hidden by hands and snuggle a little closer to your nii-san. He rolls his eyes, huffs, but his arm wraps around your waist a bit more firmly and his hand squeezes your waist, his fingers dig into your hip with a little flex.

“Nii-san, should I make curry or yakisoba tonight?”

“Mabo Dofu.”

You hum and you nod, mentally tack on the chore of going to the grocery store after you’re done here. You need to pick up his dry cleaning, too, and you need to remember to press Katsuki’s suit for his meeting with the hero commission in the morning.

Oh, and you need to lay out your dress for the dinner with the Todoroki’s tomorrow night.

Ah, tomorrow is going to be busy.

“Oh my gosh is that Dynamight?!”

Fingers dig into your hip again and you know that your big brother is irritated without having to look. He’s tired today- annoyed- and you know that the squealing call of a fangirl is not exactly what he wants to hear.

Poor nii-san- it must be tough having to deal with so much attention sometimes.

(Though, he does deserve the attention- he’s such a good hero; strong and handsome and eye catching without even having to try.

He’s perfect.)

“Dynamight! Dynamight! Will you sign my planner?!”

Two girls pop up right in front of- eyes sparkling and wonder on their faces, their proximity much too close. They don’t seem to notice you at first, but that’s okay- nii-san is the one who deserves the attention after all.

“Oh my gosh, I just love you so much! You’re so- oh.”

Ah, and now there’s disappointment on both their faces- expressions falling and pouts pushing rouged lips out, something almost irritated crossing over them.

Again, that’s okay- you’re used to it.

One of them- clearly the bolder of the two- eyes you without restraint. Her head cocks and her arms fold across her chest, her brows furrow.

“Is this- I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

Girlfriend? Oh, that’s cute.

You’re much more than a girlfriend.

Before your big brother’s temper can snap, you fix a sweet smile on your face- head resting on Katsuki’s shoulder and a giggle slipping from you.

“Oh, no- I’m his sister!”

“Sister...?” the other one asks, brows knitting together to match her friend’s.

Her eyes dart to the strong arm keeping you firmly against your big brother and you let your smile grow when she looks back up at you, give her a nod.

“Yep! Dynamight’s one and only little sister,” you chirp.

Katsuki snorts and you have to stifle a giggle when the girls exchange a look between them. Before they can say anything else, you nudge your big brother- smile softening when you feel him pull you just a little bit closer.

“Katsuki, sign her planner!” you urge him. You smile at the girl who hadn’t asked for any autographs and she seems to startle a little, flush whenever you prompt her with, “Do you have anything you want signed?”

She hesitates before giving a small nod and you watch as she starts digging around in her purse, detach yourself gently from your brother so he can carry out his duty to his fans.

He does so, with some grumbles and huffs, and the girls are aware enough not to push for a photo- scurry away with eyes lit up once again and excited squeals leaving them. You watch them with a smile and then reward your brother with a kiss to his cheek.

That gets him relaxing, just slightly, but you make a mental note of being extra attentive to him once he gets home from work.

“Nii-san,” you murmur, “I’m going to head off, okay? I need to pick up groceries.”

“Fine,” he grunts. “Just make sure to get some sansho.”

“I know, nii-san,” you huff, fondly. Another press of your lips to his cheek and then you squeeze his hand, smile at him with all the warm love you have. “I love you.”

“...love you.”

It’s rough, quiet, but it still has you beaming all the same.

You flounce off to run your errands- mind swirling with all the ways you can make your big brother happy.

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

It’s not too big of a surprise whenever you run into Sero at the store- he works in the same city as your big brother and you do run into him every once in a while.

What is a surprise is the way he rubs his neck sheepishly in the middle of chatting, when he smiles at you with a spark of hope in his eyes and a nervousness you’re not quite used to from him.

“Hey, I was wondering- are you free on Saturday? I thought maybe we could grab dinner or something...”

Your head tilts and you blink at him- surprised by the question.

Is he asking you out on a date?

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sero- on Saturday Katsuki and I are going to the movies. And we have a lunch with Kirishima planned.”

For a moment, Sero looks a little dejected. But then he’s smiling again and nodding.

“Oh, yeah, I get that. What about Sunday?” he asks- persistent but not quite pushy.

You smile at him and it’s guilty, a little apologetic.

Sero is nice. Friendly. You’re sure he’d make for a great date.

Maybe in another life...

No, in another life you’d still find your way back to Katsuki.

You shake your head, fingers flexing on your shopping cart and your expression softens even when his own smile wanes.

“Sunday we’re having lunch with the family. And Katsuki promised he’d take me shopping...”

“Ah...”

It’s quiet for a moment, awkward. Sero scratches his cheek and he forces his lips back up, rubs the back of his neck again in a way that seems a little...frustrated.

“You, uh, you spend a lot of time with your brother,” he says, words coming out in a near mumble. “Don’t you ever have time to yourself? Time for a boyfriend or anything?”

A boyfriend?

You almost huff, but you just smile instead- big and sweet as you shake your head with a soft laugh.

“Why would I need a boyfriend when I have my nii-chan?”

And, with that, Sero’s face falls completely- features distorting with something that you can’t quite name, something that almost almost has you feeling ashamed.

“Right...”

More awkwardness after that. Sero makes his excuses to leave and he detracts himself- a frown on his face as he leaves you all alone with your shopping cart and a faint, quiet sadness that you quickly push away.

You shake your head and clear your thoughts, look down at your shopping list.

Right, you still need to get the sansho. And you should pick up some beer for Katsuki, too.

With a hum, you continue your shopping- the exchange forgotten for thoughts of domesticity and all the plans you have with your big brother instead.

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

“Fuck.”

Your lips quirk into a smile at Katsuki’s groan and you wander over to him with a beer in hand, press a doting kiss to his cheek before sliding into his lap.

“Long day?” you ask in a murmur, hands running over his chest.

You get a grunt in response- Katsuki’s head lolling back with another groan whenever your hands begin to knead at his shoulders, soothe tight knots.

“Fuckin’ reporters got the jump on me,” he huffs. “And goddamn Deku wouldn’t stop talkin’ to ‘em.”

You make a sympathetic little noise and run a hand up until you can stroke your fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. Something close to a sigh leaves him when you begin to massage there and you feel your heart melting a little as you watch the tension so very slowly begin to bleed from him.

“I’m sorry, nii-san,” you tell him- sincere, voice soft. “That sounds like a pain.”

Another grunt and you hum, drape your arms over your big brother’s shoulders and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You need to relax, nii-san,” you mumble, pressing closer when his hands grip your waist. “I wanna help...”

“Then help.”

It comes out as a growl and you shiver from it, rock yourself against your big brother and slot your lips against his.

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

“Is that what you’re wearing?”

You blink and look over your shoulder at your big brother, look down at your dress.

It’s simple- form fitting, yes, but not overly tight. A pretty dress with pretty flaring pleats and a cute sweetheart neckline, heels and stockings to match. You’re wearing one of the necklaces Katsuki has bought you- a copper choker with an o-ring in the middle, tiny and shining rubies dotting along the copper band.

It’s one of your favorites- something he had bought you when he first started the agency. The dress is new, but it’s a favorite, too.

“You don’t like it?” you ask him, frowning just a tiny bit.

Katsuki huffs and he walks over to you, wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on top of your head with a scowl.

“I like it,” he grumbles. “I’m sure Icyhot will like it too.”

Ah, now you see what the problem is.

A sigh leaves you and you gently place your hands over his, look him over in the mirror.

Slacks, a button up that’s not quite buttoned up. Simple and not his style, but something that makes him look so very handsome. You love it when he’s dressed up a little and you know that he likes it when you dress up, too.

“Nii-san,” you murmur. “I don’t care if Shoto likes it or not- I only care if you do.”

It’s true- it really is.

The words have Katsuki’s scowl softening, just a little, and you turn your head so you can press a kiss to his jawline, hum whenever he tilts his head back so you can lay another on his neck.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he huffs- still so grumpy, his arms tightening around you. “Don’t like the way fuckin’ Natsuo looks at you either.”

“Katsuki...”

You turn around before he can grumble any more and you cup his face, kiss him and try to show him just how much you care for him and no one else.

“Nii-san,” you tell him, soft and adoring and sincere as can be, “it doesn’t matter if they look at me. I don’t care. I love you. You’re all that matters to me.”

Katsuki’s expression flickers with something fond, with something near vulnerable. It’s gone in a second, though, and then you’re backed against the wall, your brother’s lips are meeting yours.

“You’re mine,” he breathes against you, fingers digging into your hips and your dress bunching up underneath them. “Mine.”

His lips find your neck and you’re left mewling, clinging to him and rocking against a thick thigh whenever he slips it between yours.

“Yours,” you gasp out- Katsuki’s teeth nipping at you, his hands dragging you up and down his leg. “I’m- oh- I’m all yours!”

Katsuki grunts and then one of his hands are gone, then there’s the sound of a zipper being pulled down. He lifts you and you moan at the display of strength, wrap your legs around him when his cock ruts against you. It takes just a quick second for him to push your panties to the side and you shudder when you feel him pressing against your entrance, cling to him and claw your nails into his back.

“So fucking wet.”

You are- you really are. How can you not be when you’re held up like this- your big brother lifting you like you weigh nothing, vermilion gaze burning as he takes in how quick your cheeks flushed and how fast your face falls needy and hazy? How can you not be when he looks at you as if you’re everything- a beautiful bounty, a delicious treat, a darling little sister, a perfect wife?

“Please, nii-san,” you mewl, beg. “Please- I need you!”

A growl and then your big brother is sliding into you- stretching you open with his big cock and making you moan, whine his name.

“Gonna fuckin’- shit- gonna fuckin’ fill you up,” he grunts- no time wasted as he starts to thrust, sends your head spinning as he fucks you against the wall. “Fill up my girl’s cunt.”

It’s a promise as strong and sure as anything. You whimper, nod, and press a needy, clumsy kiss to his lips, clench around his cock at the thought.

“Gonna rip off these panties,” he growls- near snarls. “Fuckin’ drip my cum all over the Todoroki’s house- show them who you belong to!”

Oh, fuck.

The thought of that has you keening and you nod along to the words, gasp and hold onto him desperately as heat sears through you- as overwhelming pleasure has you choking up, almost sobbing.

“Yes! Nii-san, please! I’m- please- show them-”

Katsuki moans and it’s hot against your neck, broken up by an open mouthed kiss and his lips sucking a deep bruise over your flesh. You start to come- lashes fluttering and a sob slipping past your lips- and his teeth dig in deeper to your throat, the snapping of his hips gets faster, harder.

“Good- fuck- good girl. My good girl- comin’ on nii-san’s cock like a good lil slut- you’re so fuckin’- shit- say you’re- say you’re-”

“I’m yours, nii-san! Yours! Yours! I love you!”

A growl, a groan, a slam of his hips and then Katsuki is coming coming coming- filling you up to the brim and over it. You’re pushed over the edge and then you’re coming with him- mewling and clawing at him, pressing desperate and frantic kisses to him.

You only stop when his hips slow down, when he’s finished humping his seed into you. You’re both left panting then- his forehead pressed against yours and his cock softening inside of you, his eyes muddied and soft as they look over your dreamy, fucked out expression.

He slips out of you and he sets you on your feet- big hands landing on your waist to keep you steady and his lips finding yours in a slow, gentle kiss. Katsuki straightens your dress for you and he swipes smeared mascara out from under your eyes, presses a kiss to your forehead and has you sighing, letting out a soft and sweet noise of contentment.

“Mmm, I love you, nii-san...I love you so much...”

Katsuki huffs and he kisses you again- hand cupping your face, thumb smoothing over your cheek and you’re graced with a mumble in return- a quiet little “I love you too.”

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

Twenty minutes later you’re sitting in the Todoroki’s living room- your big brother’s arm thrown over your shoulder, your panties stuffed in his pocket, his cum drying on your thighs and the last of his seed slowly oozing out of your cunt as you sit there and smile, lean against Katsuki.

You love your brother, you do.

You’ll always love your brother. You’ll always be his.

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (final chapter, pt. 2, the end.)

part one here

A/N: Thank you guys for all of your wonderful comments and the love sent my way for this fanfic. I've had a great time writing it despite its rocky moments. I really hope this ending does it justice; I've never gotten to write a proper conclusion to anything like this before. It's the first time I've ever completed a multi-chapter work such as this, so I'm happy. 🍾🥂 Here's to finishing what you start, and enjoy. :)

Just shy of a half-hour later, he was finished telling the story. She had sat the both of them down on the couch, one on each end, and he explained in great detail everything leading up to current-day. Tales of the ooze, Mutagen, as he'd told her; the rat named Splinter, a man formerly known as Hamato Yoshi, who had fathered and trained them; and lastly, their mission. Be of service, protect the city; have a good heart. And Donnie most certainly had a good heart. He was not the outlandish figure she'd first saw and recognized him as. He was the guy she had come to know as Bo, Donatello, who was the same person she'd talked to this whole time. At some points of the retelling, he got excited to share some of their adventures. This came after their humble beginnings of struggling in the sewers. Donnie was happy to share after so long of dodging saying anything about his life. 

She nodded along to this talking. "...and that's how we're here," he said finally, putting his hands on his legs. "Since we're here, any questions?" 

She replied with a no, looking over at the TV that had remained on the entire time. Donnie stayed seated as she got up and got the remote, also glancing at the clock on the wall, which read 10:45 PM. She switched the TV off. Looks like it's time to go, he thought. He rose from the couch and fixed the pillow he'd displaced. 

"Donnie, this has been...strange," and for a split second, his face fell, "but not bad! Though, it is getting late." 

 "Oh, no—yeah, no, I understand," he sputtered bashfully, activating the staff which collapsed back into its smaller form. He tucked it away somewhere on him. 

For a moment, he simply stood there as if wanting to say something, but the words never found him. "So it's goodbye?" he asked quietly. The way he said it made it seem like he thought it was forever. But it was on until they figured out how to pick up where they left off after that night. Undoubtedly, things would be different going forward. He didn't know if that would be good or bad. 

"Only until next time," she told him, a small smile present. He visibly relaxed. "You're still my friend, Donatello."

He smiled. "I knew that. Totally."

Showing himself out, he stepped onto the balcony, looking back one last time before he bounded away. He held up his hand and gave a small wave. 

But she hadn't said bye yet, so he stuck around for a moment longer, though it was met with an awkward silence. He was beginning to go over the railing when she ran over to the door, stopping him. "Wait," she said, and he crawled back over the railing with a confused but curious expression. "I actually do have a question. Just one, before you go." 

"Sure," he said, inviting her to go on. She had to look up to see his face being so close. 

Tenderly, she asked, "Why'd you not tell me, after all that time? Would you have ever chosen to do this if it hadn't been for an accident?" 

Donnie couldn't give her an answer on that.

He sighed, slightly shaking his head. "I couldn't, [y/n]. We've been through this." 

"I only wanted you to trust me, Donnie," she responded. And that was, really, how she'd felt. Throughout their entire friendship, it had felt one-sided in that regard. Trusting but not trusted, but she hadn't any idea of what was truly going on, at the time. 

Donnie pondered her question: If there hadn't been some kind of divine intervention, would he have ever had the chance to have something more with her than words on a screen? 

He swallowed as she took a small step closer. 

"I just wanted you to care about me." His volume was barely above a whisper. He clenched his jaw briefly, as if he was concerned over his own words. His golden-brown eyes wandered from your eyes on downward. 

"I did—I do care about you, what makes you say that?" she questioned, puzzled. 

He vaguely gestured at his body, "Wouldn't this be a little hard grasp over text? Isn't it hard to accept even now?"

Though she didn't answer, he had a feeling that he was correct about one of those things—she did have to wrap her head around everything. Tentatively, both watched as her fingers brushed against his own. His hand moved along with hers, seeing and feeling the delicateness. Until they laced together as well as they could, her heart steady while his was beginning to race. His hand even trembled ever so slightly. He would have wanted to stay like that forever, had it not been for the fact that he was uncertain where they now stood. Where he stood in your eyes. What did this mean? 

Putting her other hand on his shoulder, she tried to conjure a smile. But it flickered out as she murmured, leaning into him, "Does this answer your question?" She had to stand on the tips of her toes, while his hand tightened in hers involuntarily, almost too shocked to bend down for what was coming. The one thing he hadn't accounted for in their meeting, not once—and it was happening. 

He seemed like he was going to stammer something, but her lips closed the gap and planted softly on his. 

There is no way.

There is no way this is happening—but I'm seeing it with my own eyes! 

Donnie lost all control the moment her lips pressed against his. His hand squeezed hers, shaking as his heart pounded in his chest. I'm shaking. Why am I shaking? 

His eyes which had been wide were now fluttering closed. For the better half of the kiss, every other thought beside the ones of her was ejected. He couldn't have pulled away, even if he'd wanted. He was hers completely. That was irrevocable.

It was only until she decided it was time to step back did they part, him looking at her entrancing face once more, and her swallowing heavily. That kiss had been something she'd dreamed of before. Never Knowing it would be held on the smooth, moist lips of a humanoid turtle, rather than those or a human man. In fact, she had to convince herself that she wasn't dreaming. Her hand slid down his shoulder and onto his chestplate. It was rough, almost possessing a grain under her fingertips. Her thumb rubbed the back of his hand. He thought he felt a tingle from the trail her fingers left. 

Donnie was on Cloud Nine for a solid minute before coming back to his senses. "That...I…" he struggled to find the words. For a brain that worked so fast, he felt utterly slow, then. 

She cracked a smile, face contorted into one of hope and a hint of embarrassment. "Is it too late to say that I've waited to do that for a while now?" she laughed. 

"N-no," he said, still trying to organize his thoughts. "No, it isn't."

"Okay, good," she replied with a relieved exhale. 

Her hand went from his chest to his arm, feeling the taut muscle as it traveled down. His hand enveloped hers while the other lifted, going to touch her cheek. "Does this mean…?" he trailed off. 

"It means I really, really like you, Donnie. I have since we played that game." 

He gently brushed her cheek with his thumb, "I really like you, too," he mimicked, voice soft. 

Maybe even that was an understatement. 

"I think I…" 

A noise nearby alerted him, and on instinct, he set her behind himself on defense. Don't be an attack now, of all times, he thought, listening closely. He told her to be quiet and to not say anything, using his forearm to gently push her back into the apartment. He pulled out his staff. 

"Sup dude and dudette!" an all too familiar voice beamed, the orange-banded turtle appearing hanging upside down from the balcony above. [Y/N] shrieked, and Donnie nearly bashed his brother in the head, sucking in a sharp breath as he accidentally backpedaled into her. Mikey waved and flashed a grin. "Don't worry, we didn't see anything...except for you two kissing, that was really unexpected!" He flipped down onto the balcony, and Donnie grumbled something, going in for a zap to his brother's plastron. Mikey dodged it, this time. Donnie tried again; unsuccessful. "Oop—saw that one coming," Mikey laughed, jovial. 

Donnie groaned, half-embarrassed and half-annoyed, "Mikey, what are you doing here?" 

Waltzing into her apartment, Mikey crossed his arms with a wink sent the human's way. "Michelangelo, wingman to the big special D right here," he introduced himself brightly, "but you can call me Mikey." 

Donnie slapped his hand to his flushed face, hoping that he was the only one who noticed Mikey's less-than-classy wording. 

"So you're all named after Renaissance painters?" asked [y/n], lifting a brow. 

Exhaling, Donnie stepped between them, "[Y/N], this is Mikey, my brother. The one that—" 

"Got you together!"

"—that got us into this predicament," he'd almost said, but he realized as Mikey said that, he owed their meeting all to him. It had all started with that talk they had had late that day, after patrol, and ended on her balcony, Donnie getting to experience a kiss for the first time. With someone he'd never imagined he would have ever been able to touch, let alone share something like that with. Yes, as much of a hassle everything up until that point had been, it was all thanks to Mikey. 

Donnie grinned, turning to his brother and draping his arm over the back of his shoulders. "Yeah, you did," he agreed. Mikey smiled as he looked down at him with fondness. He wrapped an arm around Donnie's shell in return. 

"You know it, brah. Oh, and I take cash or pi—" 

"Don't push it, younger bro." Donnie rolled his eyes. 

Waiiiiit a minute. 

Mumbling for [y/n] to hold that thought, Donnie, suspicious, crept over toward the balcony. "We"?

Mikey tried to make chatter with her while he did so, mentioning how he liked what she'd done with the place. 

He checked if the coast was clear first before leaning onto the railing on his shell, squinting his eyes. And he was not surprised at all to see Raph and Leo looking down at him from over the edge of the roof. Leo had his recognizable expression of: "You'd better wrap it up." Donnie drooped his shoulders and ducked back inside. Couldn't last forever, he thought. Despite whatever was waiting for him on the roof or at home, he could still smile on the day he'd had. He would be thinking about that kiss for weeks. 

"I guess it's bye for real this time," he told [y/n], sad to go what felt like so soon, but really was content. The night could not have gone better. "I have to, you know, go get flamed by my oldest brother. Probably."

"We'll be in touch, Donnie," she replied. "Um...text me when you get home? Just so I know you got there alright." 

Smiling, Donnie nodded. 

Mikey budded in, "Hey, don't forget about me here." 

Chuckling, Donnie headed for the door, taking Mikey but the upper arm along with him. They stopped one last time to waved to her before making their exit. 

Leo and Raph met the pair at the top. Raph was the first to speak, asking skeptically, "And yer sure this girl is alright?"

"Positive," Donnie answered with confidence. 

After a moment of trying to come up with some kind of remark, Raph let out a huff. "You got the nerve, I'll tell you that." He held out his fist ready for a bump, and when Donnie didn't immediately reciprocate, grumbled "Well? Don't leave me hangin', Don." Realizing what he wanted, Donnie went right in for the fist bump. 

Pulling away, Donnie asked, "So you're not mad?" He gave some space between himself and the incoming Leo. 

Raph scoffed lightly and shrugged. "I may not trust her, but I trust you," he responded, gruff as usual. "Just don't expect me to be all friendly and whatnot—I ain't doin' it." 

"You don't have to do anything, Raph." 

And then Donnie was face-to-face with Leo, who's intensely blue eyes were trained on him for a few seconds too long. Donnie wondered what he was thinking until he sighed, and then spoke. 

"I'm sorry." 

Behind Leo, Mikey was in awe.

"That's a new one," Raph chuffed. He left the circle to watch from the edge of the building. Mikey stuck around, but only far enough to be in ear shot. If something coming from Leo started off with a sincere "I'm sorry", he wouldn't miss it.

"Yes, you heard. I'm sorry," Leo admitted, bringing his eyes up from the ground. "I shouldn't have pressured you, Donnie. I know that you can handle yourself. I was just trying to protect you and our family," he explained, pausing to glance over at the other two brothers, "but…yeah. I'm sorry for pushing you, Don. I was kind of a jerk back there."

Deciding he didn't have any words good enough to say what he wanted to, Donnie simply pulled Leo in for half-hug, rocking him with him. Leo wore his lopsided smile as he gave Donnie's shell a slap. 

"That...was…" 

They stepped away from each other, staring at Mikey quizzically. 

"...beautiful, bros," he finished in a whisper. 

They stayed for a minute just watching the city go by, the clock ticking by later into the night. Donnie finally thought to ask Leo how Splinter was, because he definitely knew what was going down. He was a smart old man—and beside, Donnie had made no effort to pretend that wasn't what he was doing when he'd initially left. If Splinter knew, Splinter knew. He was still mildly afraid of Leo's response. 

"You want the truth?" Leo questioned, his expression briefly changing to one of a cringe. 

"I mean, I'd like to know what I'm in for," Donnie replied in an obvious manner. 

"He was angry, at first. Didn't know you left until he was done with his talk with Mikey. Also surprised that you actually went through with it. But, after that...he seemed like he understood, in a way, I guess. I didn't ask questions. You'll have to confront him about it yourself, because he just sent me and Raph out to get you." 

Donnie kept his eyes on the sidewalk below them, and the occasional person walking it. "And Mikey?" he asked, quizzical. 

"He insisted," Leo groaned. 

"You know I can't pass up an opportunity to see D get his first kiss!" 

"Oh, shut up, you had no idea that was gonna happen. You just wanted to go because me 'n Leo were goin'," Raph argued, flicking his head. "Weren't you supposed to stay in by Splinter's orders?" 

Mikey crossed his arms and turned away, "I don't have to take this abuse." He was, indeed, meant to stay behind. But the boy couldn't help himself. 

Once the banter died down, they were left contemplating whether they wanted to stay out a little longer, or if it was time to turn in. It had already been a long night, but in honesty, Donnie wasn't ready to go quite yet. He still felt as though he had so much to say to [y/n], but he supposed that time had already passed. At least until next time, if or when that was. Raph took a break from his lookout and sat next to Donnie with a grunt. He wasn't good with mush or sensitive things, but he felt compelled to ask "What're you gonna do now?" 

Donnie hummed in question.

"Well, she knows. And by the looks of things—erm—the look of one particular thing, you two are still goin' steady."

Ugh, they saw it. Donnie moaned, a cold flush coming over his face. I can't have anything private in this family.

Raph pushed him on his shoulder. "Ya shouldn't mack on someone by the doorway if ya don't wanna be seen," he jested.

"I don't know what's next, Raph," Donnie confessed. "We didn't exactly...make anything official after that."

Once they were back on the move towards home, they all dropped into the nearest manhole, but Donnie remained where he was, saying he would catch up to them. He was the fastest of the four, after all.

"I hope you're still awake," he mumbled to himself as he reached for his phone. They were close to home, anyway. And it was quiet. He typed:

"I'm almost home, [y/n]. All safe."

A couple of minutes later, she responded.

"Okay, that's good

Your brother is quite the character, by the way"

"He is who he is, lol"

"He seems nice though."

Walking down along the sewers, he took his time. What was a little longer after the night he'd had?

"Donnie, what were you going to say when Michelangelo interrupted us?"

He stopped in his tracks and thought, having nearly forgotten that he was going to actually say it. He didn't just like her—for the first time, he was sure he loved her.

"That I think I love you, [y/n]."

He regretted not saying it when he was with her, but he just couldn't wait.

There was a worrisome pause on her end in which he imagined she was staring at her screen thinking about how strong that came off, that it was uncalled for, that he was going too fast—

"I said I liked you

But that was not quite the truth

I love you, Donnie."

Golden-brown eyes sparkling, he let out a laugh, unable to contain his happiness, and the rest of the brothers smiled to themselves hearing the whoop of joy and excitement echo in the tunnel.

His adventure in love and friendship had started within a screen, but he was bound to it no longer. This was the opening of a new chapter in his life.

Tag list: @kokokatsworld @criminaly-supernatural @dianounais @spaceman-main @sheepdarkhours @raphaelsrightarm

[yeahimaloser]

Oh, To Be In Love 4

This story is about how you and your best friend, Hawks, learn to be in love.

Hi, I’m really sorry this took so long to write! But I’m currently working on requests so I’m trying to balance both!

but honestly, I’m pretty proud of myself with this chapter, it’s pretty angsty and I don’t really write a lot of angsty stuff so I hope I did ok!

Reader has no pronouns mentioned

Warnings: Panic attack, blood, fighting

Word count: 2k

Oh, To Be In Love part 1, Oh, To Be In Love part 2, Oh, To Be In Love part 2.5, Oh, To Be In Love part 3

Masterlist

Taglist is open

You sighed to yourself. 

Were you to forward? You just kissed the man that you’ve been in love with for years, who more than likely, didn’t have any romantic interest in you. 

Some days being in love with Hawks felt like a stab in the gut, where your anxieties were spilling out of you and you couldn’t stop it. 

But other days felt like you were soaring in the clouds, above every ounce of worry in the world. The feeling of happiness would surround you and make you feel untouchable.

But today was not one of the good days. You felt sick like, your nerves felt crossed in your stomach. 

Walking out of the restaurant, alone, you heard whispers on the street. But you didn’t pay them much mind, you just moved through the people and streets, still feeling your nerves in the pit of your stomach.

But your thoughts couldn’t get him off your mind. His smile when he left, his voice rang in your head, his flowing blond hair, and his golden piercing eyes felt lost in your mind. 

You tried to get your racing heart under control, thinking to yourself, ‘Seriously, he’s off fighting some villain and you're more concerned with whether or not he might like you?’

To say you felt like shit would be an understatement. You just couldn’t help but overthink that stupid, simple kiss. All you could think was how Hawks would just blow it off as a friendly thing, but deep down, a part of you wanted him to know how you felt about him. A part of you just wanted to get it over with, to stop overthinking this whole thing.

But that was practically impossible. 

You loved your friendship with Hawks, you loved being friends with him, loved hanging out with him. And if you told him about your feelings? That all could go away, everything you love could slip through your grasp. And that was the scariest outcome.

You didn’t want him to leave you, and if you had to suffer in silence, so be it.

The TV station brought you back to your senses as you walked past a crowd all near the station, “Pro hero Hawks is reportedly in a fight with a supervillain, reports say he isn't very good at the moment. We’re going to the scene right now…”

You felt your head buzz, all other noise seemed to be blocked out by a single thought.

Hawks is in danger.

Your body moved on its own, your nerves acting before your mind could keep up.

No, Hawks was the number two pro hero, he was supposed to be ok. He would always be ok.

But your gut told you to run, to run to him. You had to, you had to make sure he was ok.

It felt like your legs couldn’t move faster like they were practically led. You felt so lightheaded, but you kept moving, you had to.

Sure, Hawks had gotten into a lot of fights, and sure he would get battered and pummeled sometimes. But you couldn’t get that picture out of your mind, the picture the TV had shown of Hawks.

It was him, his arm looked broken and his wings looked almost completely out of feathers. The sight was like something out of your worst nightmares, seeing him in that state.

You didn’t even know what you could do about it, you felt so powerless.

You could never be able to help Hawks in times like these, and you hated it so much. It always felt like a punch in the gut, to realize you couldn’t help protect the man you love. 

Why were you so useless? Why did you have to be like this, to be a powerless civilian?

One time, you had brought up being Hawks’ sidekick as a joke, but he suddenly turned serious when the topic was brought up.

“No way. Even if you had the most powerful quirk to ever exist, I would never let you be my sidekick.”

You felt your heart sink. Well, you didn’t expect that response.

But you masked it with humor, “Pffft, why’s that? Scared I would take your place at the top?”

But Hawks shook his head, “No, because I would be too worried, I mean,” he turned to you, giving you a hero winning smile, “I think I would be too worried about protecting you!”

Your heart leaped into your chest, your face and body became flushed. You tried your best to play it off.

“Oh please, I could take care of myself!’

But all you could think about was that, about how he always seemed to want to protect you, why couldn’t you do that for him? Why couldn’t you protect him?

He had always been everyone's hero, including yours. Someone needed to be his saving grace, and you repeatedly wish it would be you. You cared so much for him, so much that you were willing to risk your life on protecting him.

You didn’t even realize the tears in your eyes, they spilled down your face as you ran. Your mind seemed to be running faster though.

Please, please just let him be ok. Please, do anything to me. Kill me, just let him be safe and ok.

You didn’t know who you were praying to, all you know was how you needed him to be ok.

When you finally reached the scene, the debris of multiple buildings and other objects littered the ground. But you didn’t care, all you cared about was seeing Hawks, making sure he was ok. You needed to see him, to see his smiling face, hear his voice putting your mind at ease.

You felt people push you back, police officers telling you to stop.

But you couldn’t care, you just couldn’t.

You pushed past everything in your way.

And that's when you saw him, that's when you stopped running.

Your whole body seemed to collapse in on itself, your knees felt weak.

He looked so bad, blood running down his face. His arm looked so bad, he looked so bad.

Before you could comprehend what you were doing, you screamed with all the force you could muster.

“HAWKS PLEASE!”

Please what? What did you want from him?

And then it hit you, you knew what you wanted from him.

“PLEASE LIVE!” You saw his head snap up to look at you, shook, fulling his face as he saw you.

You tried to make your way to him, to try to protect him. But you felt people, who you could only assume we're here to save you from the villain that Hawks was fighting.

But you couldn’t care, you didn’t care. To hell with you, you were fine to die if it meant he was ok.

Maybe it was the adrenaline talking, but you needed to get to him. And you felt you could, you felt like you could.

The blood was rushing to your head but you couldn’t care, you just needed him.

But the heroes that were pushing you back, most likely they just thought that someone else that you knew was on the scene. 

But no, it was Hawks. All you could think was him.

His arm looks so bad, why can't I go to him? Why can't I help him? Please let me help the man I love.

Eventually, though, your stress and nerves seem to block out the adrenaline. Everything seemed to push you back when all you wanted to do was run forward, to run into Hawks's arms and hold him. To protect him.

Why wouldn’t the world let you run to him? Why?

Why were you so pathetic? He was a hero, and a part of you felt like you should know this, to know that he would be ok. 

But to you, he wasn’t just a hero.

He was your love.

He was your friend.

He was the reason you got up in the morning.

He was the reason you laughed.

He was the reason you lived.

You didn’t know when you got to the paramedics, the whole thing was a huge blur to you. Mostly because all you cared about was seeing Hawks.

One of the heroes walked up to you, “Civilian, what’s your name?” “Y-Y/N,” your voice was so shaky, so uncertain. Maybe it was your adrenaline running down, maybe it was your still intense anxiety over Hawks, maybe it was both.

“What you did was totally and utterly reckless,” the hero sighed, “what were you even thinking?”

“I,” you paused. You didn’t even know, what were you even supposed to say? Hawks is my best friend that I’ve been in love with for years and I need to make sure he's ok?

No. when you and Hawks first started your relationship he told you how the whole thing needed to be a secret, how for the both of you it needed to be between the both of you.

This was one of the many moments that you hated that fact, you hated having to pretend that he was just a hero. Because to you, he was so much more, he meant so much to you. He was your friend.

“I’m sorry sir, I- I just thought that one of my friends was still there.”

The hero just sighed, “Alright, I suppose that makes the most sense. But next time, just tell one of us. We are better equipped to handle the situation.”

“Y-yes sir, I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered.

“It’s alright, your adrenaline was probably driving you to do that. But it sounded like you were yelling something,” the hero gave you a quizzical look.

“O-oh, I was just shouting for my friend sir, I-I’m sorry,” you looked down at your feet.

It wasn’t a full lie, but it felt like one.

The hero patted you on your shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, it’s a very human thing to do. Just go and calm yourself, you’re coming down from an adrenaline rush.”

You nodded, that was probably the reason you felt so weird.

But as you were about to sit down, you saw him.

It looked like Hawks came out of the fight, but not unscathed.

His arm still looked horrible, he had almost no feathers on his wings, his face was so, so bloody.

He was being carried on a stretcher, but he was fighting off the paramedics.

You were confused, why was he fighting them off? What was happening? Was his head ok?

But then his eyes landed on you, and time froze.

It was only for a moment, but when your eyes locked he calmed. His body relaxed, his shoulders slumped, and he gave you a relieved looked.

You wanted to cry, if he was looking for you it meant that he wasn’t all gone, that he had won with his life.

Hawks seemed to relax a lot more after seeing you, he let the paramedics take him away.

You wanted to run to him, to console him and help him relax more. To make sure he was really ok.

But you steaded yourself, this was not the first time this had happened. But it was the first time you felt this powerless.

Before he left the scene you promised yourself, a promise to yourself that next time you wouldn’t be as powerless.

@roko-ppk

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

Third and Fourth Wheeling

Requested: yes

Prompts: "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

Warnings: none

Authors note: I hope that this will meet your expectations! ❤️

"Okay stop whatever it is that you're doing," Will Halstead appears by your side on a hectic afternoon.

"Will I'm holding a cancer patient's charts in my hands," You look at him dumbfounded. Why does he think sneaking up on you in the middle work and telling you to drop everything is a good idea? 

"Give me three minutes," You start counting immediately after those words leave his mouth.

"There's this new restaurant that opened not too long ago." He explains quickly, scared that you might leave before he gets to say it all. "Natalie and I want to check it out but because it's new, you know, they don't want to give us a two person reservation."

You're still not picking up what he's trying to tell you so he continues his train of thought. "I thought you might want to go check it out with us."

"Will I don't want to third wheel." You tell him. As much as you live for him and Natalie, going with them to this restaurant seems a bit odd.

"I promise you that you will not third wheel in any way. Okay you just gotta trust me on this one." The tablet in your hands was forgotten and the only thing on your mind was this dinner.

"William..."

"No. You're coming. End of discussion. Dress fancy." With that, he left you alone at the reception. Chasing after him all the way to trauma 2 would not only be stupid but also pretty unprofessional because that's where his patient is.

With a sigh you started walking towards your own patients, eyes glued to the tablet in your hands.

Usually you're good at avoiding collision in the ED but when your body came in contact with a much bigger and stronger one you had to take a step back to steady yourself.

Luckily you didn't fall to the ground as the person cached you before you managed to do so. "Woah Y/N, you okay?"

Jay Halstead.

"Jay if this is another one of your surprises I'm kind of busy at the moment." Jay and you were friends. You were close to Will and ended up being a good friend to his younger detective brother Jay.

You admit that Jay was a handsome guy. He had everything a girl would want but you were blind to see that he truly has eyes only for you.

His playboy image wasn't necessarily going into his favour. You were protecting your little heart by just not giving him the time of your day. But he gave you all of his.

Whenever he's in the ED it's either for Will, for work or for you. He even gave you flowers for your birthday that was not too long ago.

"Y/N the world doesn't rotate around you," He teased which made you roll your eyes. "For your information I'm here strictly work related."

"Oh, well. Good luck." With a bright smile you stride past him to meet your patient.

You ignore the race of your heartbeat.

***

"Yeah, I'm standing outside freezing." You hold your phone shakily next to your head. In a fancy dress and pointy heels you wait for Nat and Will to pick you up.

"Look we won't be able to make it."

Your jaw drops to the floor.

"Excuse me?" You say.

"But don't go anywhere Jay will pick you up since he's closer to your building than we are."

"You're setting me up with Jay?!" You yell at her. No matter how much you tell them they don't listen.

"Please just bare with me! We needed two more people and the two of you are perfect!" Her voice sounds sincere and you give in like you always do.

"Tell him to hurry." And with that you end the call.

***

Soon enough a sleek black car pulls up and Jay comes striding out. He's cleaned up nicely and you even admit he looks dangerously handsome in his suit.

"Jesus Y/N you're freezing." He says when he comes up to you.

"Nice catch detective." You breathe out a puff of air that turns into small clouds of air.

"Let's go." He places his hand on the small of your back and helps you settle in the car before joining you inside.

He turns on the heater and you see yourself visibly relax. The leather interior of the car starts to feel comfortable and you feel yourself fall in love with his car.

"It's nice right?" He chuckles next to you.

"Huh?"

"The car. You seem to love it." He explains.

"Aah," You smile. "The CPD pays well, doesn't it?"

"The CMD doesn't?" His eyebrow is raised teasingly.

"You don't see me drive this beast around town do you?"

"It's not like you and I hang out." There's something more in his words and you know it. "Except now when we're going on a double date."

You take a deep breath, "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

"Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that Y/N."

You smile.

***

"Good evening." A restaurant attendant comes up to the two of you when your make your way inside. "May I take your coats?"

While you're a bit stiff, Jay seems to be as relaxed as one could be. He casually helps you take off your coat before handing it to the attendant. Coat check at restaurants isn't something you're so used to, so seeing Jay manouver his way with the fancy lads made you see a whole new side of him.

Coat free you were left in your dress. You didn't miss the way Jay looked at you. No matter how much you tried to deny it, it did bring out something in you.

"Do you want to walk among the fancy people like two people who don't know what they're doing... or will you take my hand and walk with me?"

"You win." With that you loop your arm through his and let him lead you away.

His lean body felt nice against yours. With the circumstances switched up you started looking at him differently. You wondered if this is what Will and Nat planned all along.

Soon you spot them. Both of them look dashing and perfectly dressed. "Wow..." Natalie mouthed when she saw the two of you.

Blush crept on your cheeks while Jay was helping you settle in your chair before sitting next to you.

"I mean..." Will started but lost his words.

"Isn't this the best decision ever?" Natalie piped in.

"I already told Jay this and I'll tell you again... This isn't a double date." You calmly say.

Next to you Jay was smiling from ear to ear.

"Adorable." Natalie giggles before taking a sip of wine. You roll your eyes while smiling.

"Well this is going to be a long night." Will comments.

"Cheers to that." Jay says and the two clink their fancy glasses.

***

All throughout the night you became more and more relaxed around Jay. For the first time you truly forgot about the boundaries you've set to yourself and let yourself get to know him.

He charmed you. Yes. He made you smile and laugh. Yes. He made you feel good about yourself. Yes.

You didn't stop thinking about the times your legs brushed against each others, or the times when he would casually drop his arm around your chair.

By the end of the dinner you did admit that this felt like a double date.

"Let me." Jay gestured towards your coat. Smiling lightly you let him take a space behind you and help you put it on. Your heart raced and cheeks began to flush as you felt him standing behind you.

"Are you driving with us?" Nat asked you. You thought about it for a second before shaking your head.

"You two go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow at work." You tell them before turning to Jay. "Do you mind dropping me off?"

The smile he gave you made you think that he just won the lottery. "Y/N wants to ride with me. Please, be my guest."

His hand on the small of your back doesn't feel foreign anymore. It's nice and comforting.

"So... What do you think?" You're settled in Jay's car once again only with different feelings in the air. The atmosphere was comfortable.

"It went better than I expected." You admit. Chicago during the night was a pretty sight to see, it made you smile instantly without you even realising it.

"What's going on with that smile?" Jay teases. Your cheeks tint with pink as you shake your head.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking." You reply, finding it hard to give him a sassy comeback like you always do.

Soon enough, the car is stopped and you're parked in front of your building. Realisation hits you and you take in the fact that the night is over.

You smile lightly before leaning in to give him a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. "I had fun tonight." You admit.

Something shines in his eyes before he replys, "Yeah me too."

You take it as your cue to open the door and bid him a last good night. Just before you close the car door you hear him call your name. "Hey Y/N."

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to have a drink with me some time?" He asks you. This wasn't the first time he asked you that but the only difference with this one was that you had a change in feelings. He seemed genuinely interested into taking you out for a drink and getting to know you. "I doesn't have to be anything fancy like tonight if you don't want to."

The chill Chicago air doesn't bother you as you lean against the door. "Yeah I'd like that."

Why not give him a chance. After all of the flowers and suprise drop-ins at the ED you could see that he meant it.

Your smile mimics his before you close the door and make your way inside. By the time you're warm again you find yourself thinking about Jay the whole night with a racing heart that followed.

MASTERLIST