#so sorry to those who followed me in 2016

[adimouze]

Girl, I saw a post of yours about Max and Daniel's relationship some time ago (yesterday?? I have no idea but) I went into a monologue in my mind and I need to get this out.

I started following F1 in 2016 (because of Max) so I saw the dynamic of these two over all these years, I always loved every PR video they made for the team because genuinely these two always had great chemistry together, Max was the withdrawn boy formed by his father's upbringing and Daniel as always a pure charisma, those who looked from the outside might think that this combination wouldn't work, but they were completely wrong. Daniel wasn't intimidated by Max, he saw that shy and aggressive teenager entering the world of Formula 1 and decided that ok, he would be his protector from now on.

Their relationship as teammates on the track was chaotic. Max would occasionally get into trouble because of his impulsiveness. This makes me realize today that Daniel had all the patience in the world with that petulant teenage Max. Nowadays, he says that he likes to think that he had a good influence on Max back then, and believe me, he did. Max wouldn't be the same today without Daniel. He wouldn't have the same lightness and sagacity. He wouldn't know what it's like to reach out to an opponent and admit that sometimes things are the way they are.

I always liked the duo that the two formed on the grid, but it was after Daniel left Red Bull that I started to admire their relationship even more. It was the first true confirmation that yes, they genuinely liked each other, they were friends. 2019 was the first year in which neither of them had any more obligations to be friendly and cordial with each other to keep up appearances, and even so, they never stopped interacting. Daniel always interrupted Max's interviews to make a joke or two and Max joined in so easily. The ease with which these two enter their own bubble is admirable. No other driver duo has ever had that.

The question is, what do the two have, this dynamic, relationship, neither of them has it with anyone else on that grid, Daniel is friends with many drivers, Lando, George, Alex, Charles, but no relationship comes close to what he has with Max, Daniel's last week in that paddock revealed a lot to us, more than we would ever know if he hadn't found himself in that situation, Max genuinely cares about Daniel, in his own way, and that seems to please the other side a lot seeing as how Daniel respects him after all these years, we don't even know half of what their relationship is like but every time we find out something we feel how sincere it is.

sorry for my english mistakes girl (in case you got this far) it's not my first language but I needed to put my thoughts into words :)

im assuming it's this ask? lemme know if not x

sharing with no notes and your english is fine, my friend!!

[cloverpicking]

2% of my followers are here for oc art another 2% for tally hall art and the remaining 96% are still holding out hope I’ll post markiplier or jacksepticeye art again

[captainshyguy]

getting real tired of the underlying 'well trans guys arent AS oppresed so who cares what they think' implications to posts ive been seeing recently, like. we did this with ace people already guys. can we fucking not

[dualitysdownfall]

i have a tendency to reblog posts about promoting one's own art and/or the importance of reblogging art, onto my art blog, as a sort of "wink wink nudge nudge i do have followers on this blog don't i" kind of thing

but whenever i do that, it feels as if people pay more attention to that than to my art

i know that's not literally true, i'm sure the note count does not actually rival or surpass a new art post, it only feels like a note spike because that blog posts so infrequently and therefore its activity is usually flat line, and reblogging the post made there Be Something There For People To Interact with

i guess it irks me anyway because i reblog it with the intent of "hey, look at the message of this post and where it is right now, mind giving my blog a scroll and maybe hitting a couple of green buttons" but it doesnt really work that way because people just see it in their dash. i constantly be reblogging shit with little if any awareness of which person i follow that i'm getting it from.

i just wish there was a way to be like, "hey, please give my art some attention, i work hard on this shit and it feels like there's at most about a classroom's worth--if that!--of people who care enough to show it to folks" without literally just being the annoying pushy attention-seeking bitch on the dashboard that's like "just fucking reblog my shit"

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[turn3tifosi]

VI. the winner takes it all

lewis hamilton x ferrari engineer!reader

lewis and you are no strangers, but the hurt that followed knowing him, makes his announcement for 2025 nothing but dreadful for you

series masterlist | main masterlist

You remember how it all started. The excitement, the passion, the shared dreams, and the relentless ambition. You and Lewis had it all. Or so it seemed. As a top engineer at Ferrari, you lived and breathed motorsport, but it was your relationship with Lewis that made the moments off the track truly special.

It was Monaco 2016, the night before the big race. The sky was clear, and the stars shimmered over the Mediterranean. You met Lewis at a gala, the kind of event where the air buzzed with champagne bubbles and the murmur of high society. Lewis, with his charming smile and magnetic presence, was the center of attention, but when he looked at you, it was as if the world stopped. You talked about cars, strategies, and everything in between. There was an instant connection.

Over time, your relationship blossomed. The thrill of sneaking away for secret dates, the late-night conversations about life beyond racing, and the quiet moments where you could just be yourselves. Those were the times you cherished the most.

One night, as you both lay on the balcony of his apartment overlooking the city, Lewis rested his head on your lap, a rare moment of vulnerability from the world champion. “You know, sometimes I really wish I could run away from all the fame and people, and live a quiet life with you,” he whispered, his eyes closed in contentment.

You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the weight of his words. “No Lewis, you love this. You love the fame and the cameras, it’s me who wishes you could run away from it all. I’m the selfish one.”

But love is never simple, especially when it’s tangled with the relentless pressure of professional success. Lewis's career skyrocketed, and with every victory, every championship, the distance between you grew. You were proud of him, of course, but the endless races, the media frenzy, and the never-ending demands on his time left little room for you.

It all came to a head after his fourth world championship win. The victory party was grand, a glittering affair that went on till dawn. But amid the celebration, you felt like a ghost, invisible and alone. You tried to talk to him, but he was swept away by adoring fans, sponsors, and the endless parade of well-wishers. When he finally found a moment, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and for a moment, you believed he meant it. But apologies couldn't bridge the growing chasm between you.

You tried to hold on, but the nights grew colder, and the days lonelier. Eventually, the strain became too much. One evening, after a particularly brutal argument, you packed your bags and walked out of his life, leaving behind the man you loved and the dreams you had built together.

Fast forward to 2024. Your career at Ferrari flourished, and you buried yourself in work to forget the heartache. But fate, or maybe Lewis has a cruel sense of humor. The announcement came out of the blue: Lewis Hamilton was joining Ferrari for the 2025 season.

The paddock buzzed with the news, but for you, it was a gut punch. The thought of working with him again, seeing him every day, was almost unbearable. But you were a professional, and you wouldn't let personal history affect your work.

The first meeting was awkward, to say the least. You avoided eye contact, focusing on the technical briefing, the strategies for the upcoming season. But you could feel his eyes on you, a silent plea for acknowledgment.

Days turned into weeks, and the tension simmered. It all came to a head one evening after a particularly long day at the track. You were in the garage, going over some data, when Lewis walked in.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice low and strained.

You didn’t look up. “There’s nothing to talk about, Lewis. Let’s just do our jobs.”

He stepped closer, his presence impossible to ignore. “I’m sorry. For everything. I know I hurt you. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but-”

You finally met his gaze, the familiar pain and longing in his eyes. “You might have won the races and championships, but you don't get my heart back.”

He flinched as if struck. “I know I can’t change the past, but I want to make things right. I miss you.”

The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable, but the wounds were too deep. “It’s too late, Lewis. We had our chance.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but you turned away, focusing back on your work. The silence was heavy, laden with unspoken words and lingering regrets.

Working together was a constant reminder of what was and what could have been. Yet, slowly, a new dynamic formed. Professional respect replaced personal tension, and while the past remained a painful shadow, you both found a way to coexist.

Lewis never stopped trying to mend the rift. Little gestures, a coffee waiting at your desk, a supportive word during a tough day. But you held firm, guarding your heart against further hurt.

As the season progressed, Ferrari thrived. The collaboration between the engineers and drivers was seamless, and the team’s performance improved dramatically. There were moments, brief and fleeting, where you saw a glimpse of the man you had once loved, not the racing superstar, but the man who had shared his dreams and fears with you.

And in those moments, you wondered if, maybe someday, you could find it in your heart to forgive. But for now, you were content to focus on the present, the thrill of the race, and the drive to win.

Because in the world of motorsport, as in life, the winner takes it all. And you were determined to be a winner, with or without him.

[leclerc-s]

i did something bad - part two

THE CHARLOS BREAK UP

masterlist//previous//next

BRAZIL 2023

daniel ricciardo please tell me charles did not get into an argument with carlos.

teagan horner charles did not get into an argument with carlos. carlos got into an argument with him, two very different things.

max verstappen what was the argument even about?

charles leclerc doesn't matter it was bullshit.

mark webber clearly not, if you two came to blows.

pierre gasly carlos said he was shit driver and and that he only had the red bull seat because he was 'fucking horner's slut daughter' or that was the tailend of what i heard.

pierre gasly not to mention he punched teagan in face because she stood in front of charles hoping to stop the situation.

alex albon well i'll be damned.

yuki tsunoda so we all follow that one gossip account? because i know none of you were near when this happened.

liam lawson i do. how else am i supposed to find out that fernando alonso was visited by taylor swift last week in austin? daniel ricciardo it's fun to follow them. one time they said max and i were hooking up, we weren’t, but i liked the tweet to fuel them more. pr was not happy that week.

mark webber christian's been awfully quite this entire time.

max verstappen we're planning on how to torpedo into carlos in brazil. i'm the sacrifice because i've already won the championship. checo perez he supposed to fail at getting pole position in quali next week to end up behind carlos. sebastian vettel pulling a kvyat i see, i respect it max verstappen the only time i'll do something like kvyat. yuki tsunoda HE PUNCHED TEAGAN?! WHAT THE HELL?? WHERE IS THIS MAN?!

liam lawson yuki, think about your actions. charles is getting fined for what you’re thinking about doing (i think)

yuki tsunoda do i look like i give a fuck?

pierre gasly we ride at dawn!

mark webber you two are perfect for each other

sebastian vettel YOU’RE IN A MEETING GET OFF YOUR PHONE GASLY!!!

yuki tsunoda that should be your sign gasly, come back to alpha tauri! daniel can take your seat at alpine

daniel ricciardo hell no. i saw what they did to my fellow aussie, oscar. do you think i wanna get sued by them?

teagan horner we’re back, carlos is still pissed but so is my dad.

mark webber how’s your face after that punch?

teagan horner i have a sick black eye. i look like i got in a bar fight. i got the proper texas experience. christian horner this isn't a laughing matter teagan. you could've been seriously hurt. sebastian vettel he's right teagan, it could've escalated to something worse. max verstappen so is the plan still on to crash into carlos or not?

charles leclerc not, i want to do it. who gives a fuck on where i end up in the drivers championship, i'm already p7. let me do it brocedes style.

daniel ricciardo ah, 2016 spainsh grand prix, those were good days.

sebastian vettel you got p4 and max won daniel ricciardo they were good days because both mercedes dnf'd

max verstappen he won't do it

sergio perez i'll gladly help, we can have a repeat of yesterday.

charles leclerc deal and sorry about that, again.

sergio perez it could've happened to anyone, besides it was my fault

alex albon so...talk about a dramatic brazilian gp

lewis hamilton why is it always thing 1 or thing 2 starting the awkward conversations? lando norris they have nothing better to do alex albon listen here you muppet!

logan sargeant (i'm so sorry lewis) it's giving brocedes 2.0

nico hulkenberg be grateful you weren't around then sargeant. those were dark times.

lewis hamilton i feel like you're being a little dramatic about it.

kevin magnussen we aren't. everyone walked on eggshells because of you two. toto could never seem to catch a break.

fernando alonso it seems you're the old one lewis, if your memory is failing already.

lando norris kinda surprised it took this long for those two to go at it a la brocedes

charles leclerc i was sandwiched, what was i supposed to do? crash into checo for the second time in a row?

carlos sainz not crash into me. you had no problem crashing into sergio last week.

charles leclerc well, checo is the one retiring this year, not you. you'll have plenty more races.

carlos sainz since when do you call him checo?

carlos sainz and i was on pole! i could've won!

max verstappen at charles' expense no less

george russell "horrified looks from everyone in the room"

daniel ricciardo i don't know if i should be impressed that you know taylor swift lyrics lance stroll coming from the guy who sang our song in an interview word for word last month. daniel ricciardo at least i wasn't the one spamming the groupchat with taylonso memes

lewis hamilton how did this become the mess it has?

fernando alonso this is the only time i will ever wish sebastian was still driving. at least he could control these baboons.

nico hulkenberg who are you calling a baboon, nando?

fernando alonso if the shoe fits, nico, if the shoe fits

LAS VEGAS 2023

pierre gasly i will be throwing hands with fred and the rest of ferrari’s f1 team, starting with carlos.

alex albon but we gotta give charles credit, defying team orders the way he did in vegas? respect, it further proves ferrari would keep sacrificing his race even if he was on pole and leading the majority of the race.

liam lawson what did we expect? it's ferrari, and that strategy was a shit one, even i know that. charles had been leading for 35/50 laps and they wanted him to let carlos through? who was down in p6? yuki tsunoda ferrari has shit for brains pierre gasly and it's not like carlos would've been able to make it past checo, oscar, danny, and max to get the win. in the end, lando and alex overtook him, alex who's in a williams! you would've given me a few more laps and i could've overtaken him.

daniel ricciardo also, rumor has it that piero ferrari is like super pissed they let charles go.

mark webber of course he’s pissed, charles was their golden boy, he won monza. the first to do so since 2010 when fernando had won.

liam lawson i think the biggest fuck you to ferrari would be having charles win both monza and imola

sebastian vettel i like this kid, where did christian find you?

pierre gasly outside of yuki’s home. he picked him up by the scruff of his neck and said, “i want you to be our reserve driver at alpha tauri” liam lawson he found me in a dumpster outside of his home. sebastian vettel i hate both of you

teagan horner i thank god everyday that there is only one race left until the season is over

¡leclerc-s speaks! would carlos ever act like this? probably not, doesn't mean i'm going to stop writing it this way. i think people react in different ways when they're hurt and unfortunately in this fic carlos is lashing out. don't worry, i'm going to fix their relationship, just not for now, i like drama. would any of these events happen irl, no way, but what's the fun in fanfic if you can't exaggerate events at least a little?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[punkeropercyjackson]

It's finally here!!!

Graphic design is my passion LMFAO but as i said i would do a while back,i've created a masterpost of all the Jason Todd content that's worth your time!This is rather long but he's existed since 1983 so!!

Base edit is my little sister @mayameanderings and tagging @coffeemilkcatz and @nanaonmars since they said yes when i asked if they wanted me to!Let's dive in then!

Batman 408-426,Detective comics 568-582,Superman annual 11,New Teen Titans 18-31,Blue Devil 19,Action comics 556 and 594,Batman Annuals 10-12 and Batman(The cult)for pre-reboot Robin!Jason my beloved

Nightwing Year One 101-106,New Teen Titans 55,Nightwing 10(1997)and Legends of the Dark Knight 100 for Dick and Jason siblinghood,Gotham Knights 34 for the short story of him and Alfred and Detective comics 790 for Bruce telling Cass about him as it takes place on Jason's birthday

Lost Days aka the Red Hood prologue

Under The Red Hood(2010)-The original comic is good in it's own right but the movie is leagues better written(Rare comic book adaption exception lmao)

Robin 177 and 182-183 for the actual Tim and Jason beef instead of 'replacement' and 'enemy to caretaker' bs

Azreal:Death's Dark Knight 3(Can't give commentary on this one since i don't know Azreal like that,sorry)

Red Hood and The Outlaws(2016).Unlike the Utrh comic vs the Utrh movie,the original Rhato has nothing positive like the reboot

Not TECHNICALLY Jason BUT Duke is his favorite brother and Stephanie's the only Batfam girl he's truly close to so you should also stan them since he'd want you to /lh

Red Hood:Outlaw for the confirmation that Red Hood loves black women from infinity to infinityyyyy(meaning his love interest Dana Harlowe is introduced and featured as an mc in this run)

Urban Legends 1-6 for his return to the Batfam-Messy tbh but i do enjoy parts of it!

Task Force Z for him and Stephanie being a vigilante team and it has a prelude,that being Detective comics 1041-1043

Unkillables and Joker:The Man Who Stopped Laughing for Jayrose goodies and more of the above

Gotham War if you feel like turning off your brain to look at good art and laugh at dogshit writing

Red Hood:The Hill is his current run and when our queen Dana comes home from comics limbo!!!

The following is a misc list that's not required to include in your Jason knowledge but HIGHLY recommended you do just for fun!

Tiny Titans 23,29,33,39,45 and 47,Bombshells 46,60 and 62,Bombshells United 18-24,Lego Batman:Family Matters,A Death In The Family 2020,Batman:The Adventures Continue,Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 5-6,The Doom That Came to Gotham 2023 and The Teen Titans Go episode 'The Best Robin'(Pre-Reboot Robin Jason rights!!!).Also look up 'Nobody cares about Tim Drake' if you don't know what that is,you'll love it

Jason also appears in the Lego DC Super Villains games that i highly recommend as well especially because my girlfriend is a mega fan of it and i don't know much about Lego Batman 3:Beyond Gotham but please avoid the aformentioned original Rhato,Red Hood:Outlaws and the Gotham Knights game as they feature extremely problematic writing not limited to but including racialized misogyny and ableism and do disservice to Jason himself anyway so you wouldn't want to consume them to begin with if you want to like him.I have mixed feelings on the Arkham Knight and Injustice games series' but they are objectively fairly good so i wouldn't say no to giving them a shot to see if you like them

And for the finale we have Wayne Family Adventures-Definitely a good read but to be totally honest it does Duke DIRTY and it sucks so much of DC to have marketed as his series to not only not follow through at all and make it an ensemble cast instead but ALSO deprive him of his actual characterization and story to make him a demure weak black boy stereotype.I won't judge you at all for liking it if you decided to read it or have already but kindly keep this in mind and consider joining me and my mutuals in our rewrite of it to give our Signal of Hope and Chaos the writing he deserves or at least support us through likes and reblogs!Happy Jason readings and have a good day💕

[unsolvedjarin]

pleeeeeease something fluffy and domestic about jenson😩😩😩 there is not enough fics of him AND after those beautiful pics he posted i crave slmething tbh anything that has to do with him

CORNY

pairing: (jenson button x driver! reader)

summary: you and jenson finally have a peaceful anniversary, but both of you have surprises for one another.

note: i love love LOOOOVE this idea so much. saying yes any day to domestic jenson. i had so much fun writing this, hope you have fun reading it too!

content warning: none, just a lot of domesticity and once again, say it with me, my verb tenses bouncing like frogs!

“And you’re sure you can handle this?”

“She’s a three year old, what harm could she possibly do?” Fernando asks. You look at him with faux seriousness in your eyes, “A lot. You can’t even begin to imagine.”

Jenson chuckles at your antics, double checking if you had brought all the things your daughter needs for the weekend. It was you and Jenson’s anniversary, and Fernando had volunteered to take care of your daughter so you could both get away.

“You know, if you told me back in 2016 that I would be taking care of you two’s child, I would have never believed it,” Fernando remarks, looking at the three year old dead asleep in his living room.

“Why, ‘cause you can’t take care of children?” You joke. He shakes his head in response, “No, because I never thought Jenson would have the balls to make a move.”

The mentioned man looks up from what he was doing when he hears his name, not fully invested in the conversation. “Sorry?”

“I said I never thought you would have the balls to make a move on Y/N. You pine for four years and all of a sudden have a burst of confidence, I still don’t understand how you did it.”

“Well some things are better left a mystery, eh Nando?” Jenson teases, nudging him on the side. “Besides, you don’t need to know how, just that we’re here now and we’re happy.”

“Boo, corny.” You butt in, giving Jenson a playful thumbs down.

“Hey you’re supposed to be on my side, I’m defending our love out here!”

Fernando grins at your banter— it reminded him of the good old days. Back when Jenson was on the grid along with him in Mclaren, hearing his teammate constantly pine over their friend— you— who happened to be a driver as well.

Ever since he could remember, Jenson had been head over heels for you. Sure during your rookie year he had only seen you as a friend, but the years following that, there was no time Fernando can remember where Jenson wasn’t trying to grab your attention or trying to impress you one way or another.

It was astounding how you hadn’t caught a clue on just how much Jenson liked you during those days. He had even given up his so-called ‘playboy�� lifestyle back then just to impress you, but the only reaction he had ever gotten from you was “So no more free drinks for me from your hookups when we’re out? Shame.”

“Are you absolutely certain you can handle this, Nando?” You ask the Spaniard, causing him to snap back to reality.

“Please, I got this covered, trust me,” he boasts. If only he knew what chaos was in store for him this weekend.

You say your goodbyes to Fernando and give your child a kiss on the head, making sure she doesn’t wake up. Stepping out the front door, you see Jenson staring far into the distance while waiting for you.

“You alright Jense?” you ask him as you walk towards the car. He doesn’t say a word until you both get in the car and close the doors, letting out a deep sigh of relief.

“Alright? I’m fucking fantastic!” he exclaims. You grin at his sudden burst of energy, shaking your head. Speaking softer this time, he adds, “This is the first weekend I’ve had all year without our kid. And don’t get me wrong, I love her very much, but I missed spending time with you more.”

He gives you a chaste kiss, pulling away to look at you with so much love. God, he could never be sick of this sight. You give him a soft smile as he adjusts to pull the car away from Fernando’s home, headed back towards your own.

You didn’t say anything as he started driving, unsure how to breach the topic you wanted to talk to your husband about. You wanted this weekend to go smoothly, after all it was your anniversary, but also because it was the first actual one on one time you’ve had with each other in god knows how long. With you still racing and him with his job, you didn’t see each other enough as much as you would like to.

Of course you were always home whenever possible, doing your part in taking care of your kid, and they always tagged along to races when they could— but to you it still wasn’t enough. You felt like you were doing Jenson wrong with pursuing racing while he had to do most of the heavy lifting at home.

So you wanted to retire.

You thought it was reasonable, after all you had been racing since 2012 save for the year you stopped when you were pregnant. You were satisfied with your career and your two world championships. Sebastian Vettel had told you last year that when you know it’s time to retire you just know, and you think that time is now.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jenson asked, pulling you out of your train of thought.

“Are my thoughts that cheap?”

“Okay, dollar for your thoughts then. Jesus, we really are in an economic crisis.”

“Corny,” you reply, slapping him on his shoulder with a grin.

“Ah, but you smiled.” Jenson teased. It made you roll your eyes at him fondly, “Eyes on the road you silly man.”

The rest of the trip home was spent in comfortable silence, Jenson putting his hand on your leg whenever you reached a stoplight. He claimed to have the whole weekend planned, and was seemingly very excited to show off whatever it was he had in store. You asked him a week ago if you could get a clue and the only response you ever got from him was a shrug and a simple “Well there’s no fun in that now, is there?”

Pulling up to your house, you contemplate when exactly is the right time to tell your husband you’re retiring. Not before his surprise, no definitely not, that would ruin it. But you weren’t so sure if after the surprise would be such a good idea too, especially if it would ruin the spirit of the weekend.

“Want something babe?” Jenson asks as he approaches the house bar. He had it made last year on his birthday, a gift for himself, he had said. Safe to say not a single speck of dust has been found on that countertop nor has it been left abandoned for a day since it’s been made. It was his favorite thing in the house, besides you, of course.

You shake your head to his question, instead opting to lay down on the couch with an oomph, turning on the television to see if anything good was on. “So what’s your big secret surprise plan? Can I know now?” you question Jenson, looking at him from your position.

He gives you a knowing grin in reply, moving towards you with his drink. He takes a sip of it before closing the TV so you would focus on him.

“Hey I was gonna watch!”

Ignoring your comment— because he knows you weren’t really going to— he bends down to kiss you on your forehead and mutters, “My plan, my darling,” he gives you another kiss, “Is to stay home all weekend.”

You give him a confused look.

Was that it? Was that the big thing he had planned? Not that you were complaining of course, any time spent with Jenson was good to you. But it puzzled you why he had kept it a ‘secret’.

“Confused?” he asks, giving you a knowing look as he picks his drink back up and takes another sip. “I would be if I were you.”

Now absolutely muddled, you get up from the sofa and follow him towards his beloved bar. Sitting on one of the stools, you’re unable to find the right questions and simply shoot him a look that said ‘what?’

Jenson grins, leaning on the counter so you were face to face with each other. “So, you’re probably kerfuzzled.”

You had used that term once when you accidentally forgot the word ‘confused’ and it had become an inside joke between the two of you.

“Yes, I’m kerfuzzled, Jenson. So you have nothing planned this weekend?”

“Well besides me cooking you the most delicious home cooked meals and treating you like the absolute goddess you are,” he says, inching closer towards your face. He gives you a light kiss before continuing normally, “Then no, I have nothing planned.”

“So all that buildup these past few weeks, nothing.”

“Absolutely nothing,” Jenson smirks.

“You seem oddly proud of yourself for that,” you tease. While you were confused with the whole situation, you had no problem with it. A weekend with Jenson alone was everything you could’ve ever asked for, especially after a stressful season.

“I am proud of myself. Wanna know why?”

“You’re asking an awful lot of rhetorical questions today. But sure, why are you so proud of yourself, sweetheart?”

“Because,” he beams, “I have noticed that throughout this entire year, we’ve spent only two full days together, just the two of us. One of those days we spent shopping for our son’s new bed, and another one of those days was spent doing our taxes. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“We haven’t properly shagged this whole year?”

“Close, but we will circle back to that later tonight,” Jenson winks. “No, what I was trying to say is that we haven’t spent time with each other. At first I had planned a trip to Italy for this anniversary of ours, then I thought, well you’d already been there for the Monza Grand Prix. Plus, it felt like just another chore we would be doing. That’s when I had an epiphany.”

He pauses for a second, seemingly waiting for a reaction from you. Rolling your eyes, you question, “Fine, I’ll bite. What epiphany did you have o great philosopher?”

“Well I’m glad you asked. I realized that with such a travel packed schedule all year round, going on a vacation for our anniversary would be boring to you. Not only that but the travel itself would be tiring, and we would be focused on the itinerary more than our anniversary itself. Therefore, I have brilliantly concluded that the best thing I could set up this year was not only something we haven’t done in a while, but something relaxing while at the same time thoughtful. That’s why— drumroll please— my surprise is a weekend at home.”

Jenson takes a small bow after his whole speech, grinning at the way you slowly clapped for him with faux annoyance. You had to give it to him, he was spot on. You weren’t really up for any big trips on your week off, especially when that was practically what you’ve been doing the whole season.

“First of all Jense, I do actually love your plan, and I love you,” you say, giving into his antics. He smirks in reply, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m just thoughtful like that.”

“Okay, don’t push it,” you retort, but with no malice. “But my question is, why did you keep it a secret? You know you could’ve told me if we were just staying home.”

“Yes, I could’ve told you, but because I didn’t tell you, you mentally prepared for more traveling, and now that I’ve told you that we’re staying home, it feels more refreshing, no?”

Damn him and his smart mind. You forget he was smarter than he usually lets on. The media had labeled him as a himbo of sorts back then, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Well, except for that one time he nearly left the stove on before a race weekend. He still gets reminded of that everytime you leave the house.

“Wow, that’s actually impressive,” you concede, leaning back on your chair. Jenson pours you your favorite drink across the bar, despite you declining earlier. He knows that in the five minutes that have passed you’d now want a drink. He knew you too well. “You really thought this through, huh?”

“Of course I have. I use ninety-nine percent of my brain power on you.”

“Can’t tell if that’s a compliment or a complaint.”

“Assuming that I use only ten percent on anything else, then it’s a compliment.”

You snicker at his joke, taking a sip of your drink. From your peripheral vision you can see Jenson watching you intently while leaning on the wall, as if it was the first time he had ever seen your face. Even as you put your glass down, his eyes still follow the lines of your lips and the curves of your cheeks, with a soft smile plastered on his own face. He seemed so…content.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you say while looking at anything but him, a light blush on your cheeks you try to hide to no avail. So many years together and yet he could still make you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush. It was so silly.

“Like what?” he asks, despite knowing what you meant. If only you knew that you made Jenson feel the same way he made you feel, if not even more.

“Like that.”

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m looking at you like I usually do.”

“Yeah, sure. If you usually looked at me with puppy eyes and like you’ve discovered the secret to life in my eyes,” you retort, playing with your drink, still refusing to look him in the eye. Jenson chuckles, before pushing himself off the wall and leaning on the bar, using two fingers to move your chin and face you towards him. Your faces were inches apart, his soft yet smug smile still evident as he looked at your slightly parted lips then at you. “Darling, you are the secret to life.”

Jenson’s words linger for a second, before you snigger and push him off of you. He laughs too, knowing how corny what he just said was. While you were touched with what he said, you just couldn’t help but laugh at the seriousness of it all. You were well past love declarations in your relationships. Now those declarations were in the smaller things, like how he texted you whenever he saw something that reminded him of you and how you buy him books from every country you visit– also the reason you had to expand your library recently.

“God you are– ha!– you are so corny. That was worse than some of your dad jokes,” you cringe.

“I thought you love my dad jokes!”

“I love them because of how corny they are. This…this took the cake though.”

“Jeez, can’t even profess my love for you anymore without being made fun of. What has the world come to,” Jenson says sarcastically.

It reminds you of when he first confessed to you back in 2016.

“I can’t— I just can’t carry on without you knowing. Y/N, I am so hopelessly in love with you. And I know this is so out of the blue but if I spend one more minute with this secret I might explode. So please— please, Give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

A moment of silence passed. The usually busy streets of Monaco felt quiet outside the bar that night. It was just the two of you.

This is a prank. This must be a prank. Snapping to your senses, you replied, “Very funny. Who put you up to this, was it Fernando? I’ll kill him. Or was it Seb? He’ll get it worse if it was him.”

Jenson rubbed his face before moving a step closer to you. “Don’t you get it? I’m in love with you. I have been, for so long. No one put me up to this but myself.”

“You’re drunk, that’s what you are. Let’s get back to the hotel,” you reasoned, to yourself more than to him. You tried to walk away but he didn’t let you, taking your hand and making you face him.

“Y/N please just listen to me I— I can’t breathe without you, I can’t sleep without you, I can’t live without you. It’s you, it always has been. I understand if you don’t like me back, in fact I’ll take it with pride but please— please don’t abandon me. Please don’t leave me with no answer.”

“Don’t do this,” you begged him. “Don’t lead me on.”

“I’m not leading you on, Y/N. I swear to you, I am not. This is real. Am I so bad?” he asked, practically near to tears. He had kept this secret for so long that spilling it all out felt so overwhelming.

“You’re not bad Jenson, god that’s not it,” you laughed ironically, as you felt your eyes water. “It’s because— oh fuck it. I love you too. I love you too, okay? I have since 2014. And I— I didn’t wanna answer you because if I wake up tomorrow and find out this was all because you’re drunk then I will be so heartbroken I don’t think I could live with it. And now that this is all out there I— I don’t know what to do.”

Your words hung there for a minute, both of you emotionally vulnerable in a random street in Monaco at three in the morning. Then, Jenson, with teary eyes, slowly smiled. “You mean that?”

“More than anything. So please, tell me you’re not just saying this all because you’re drunk.”

“No, no of course not,” Jenson quickly replied. He moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you, but thankfully even in his inebriated state he knew to take things slowly. Instead he hugged you tightly, holding you as if you would disappear. You hugged him back, resting your teary eyed face on the crook of his neck.

You both stood there in silence for a moment, not caring if anyone saw you, which was unlikely because of how empty the streets were. When Jenson pulled away you missed his touch, but he immediately held your hand and asked with a grin, “Well, now that that’s over with, we can go back to the hotel. Wanna take care of a drunk guy?”

You laughed, wiping away your tears. “Do I have a choice?”

“No, sorry. You’re contractually obligated to take care of me for the rest of the night and tomorrow.”

You both start walking to the hotel, the streets now seeming more lively than they were a second ago. It was almost as if the background noise had come back.

“Jense,” you started, leaning your head on his shoulder as you walked. Jenson practically melted on the spot at that. “Even if you regret your decision to tell me all of that today, please promise me you won’t break our friendship.”

Jenson turned his head to you at that. Couldn’t you see just how much love he held for you?

“Even if I regret my decision— which I won’t, by the way, because I’ve been dying to say this for four years— nothing will change between us. We’ll still be friends, trust me on that at least. I’ll always be here for you. Now c’mon, it’s starting to rain.”

He pulled you by the hand, both of you running to the hotel as the rain got louder. He slept in your room that night, you didn’t do anything, he just wanted your company. The next morning he regretted nothing.

“Penny— no, sorry— dollar for your thoughts?”

Jenson snaps you out of your trip down memory lane, taking you by the hand and standing you up from the bar stool. He wraps his arms around your waist and you sling your own around his neck, sighing contently.

If there was one thing you could never be sick of, it was the way Jenson looked at you. Always, without fail, when you catch him staring at you, there’s so much love and adoration in his eyes that you feel overwhelmed with a sense of lovesickness.

You never wanted this moment to end. You wanted more of these, more peaceful and loving moments with him and also your daughter. It makes you remember the piece of news you wanted to tell him earlier.

As you both stand there in the middle of your quiet house, just enjoying the company of each other, you lean your head on his shoulder. It was now or never.

“Jenson, I’m retiring.”

He pauses his soft swaying for a moment, and you pull away to look at his reaction. He looked shocked yet at the same time calm, as if he had been expecting you to say that.

“Is that what you really want? I mean, I’m not opposed to it, but baby you still have so much left in you for racing. Shit I mean, you could even win another world championship.”

“Sure I could. Let me just catch up on Max who has a 200 point difference with me, easy peasy,” you scoff with a grin, slapping him on his shoulder. “Yes, this is what I really want, Jense. I’ve thought about it a lot and I think it’s time. I’m satisfied with how my career has gone, and I think it’s time I pulled my weight around the house and our daughter.”

Jenson raises his eyebrow at you, “You do pull your weight. Do you think that you don’t?”

“Well I’m definitely doing less than you,” you sigh.

Jenson could tell the topic was upsetting you, and he reached for your hand to squeeze it. “Darling, you do enough around the house and for our kid. Sure, I’m with her more, but that’s just because I have a freer schedule. There’s no malice in you being away for work. Plus, you make insanely more money than me, which is also part of pulling your weight. If you’re thinking of retiring just because of this, then maybe you shouldn’t yet.”

You frown, feeling the sting of tears in your eyes. You wouldn’t cry, you promised yourself you wouldn’t. “It’s just— I feel like I’m missing out on my life, you know? On our life. I’ve been driving karts since I was four and now I’m fully grown and I’m still driving. But this— this is new. Our family. And I want to be here for it. For you.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Jenson mutters, before taking you for a hug. He holds you tightly, just like he did all those years ago, your head in the crook of his neck with tears pricking your eyes.

He holds you there for a moment, and you feel safe in his arms like you always do. Even when everything changes he’s there, and just like he promised many moons ago, he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Look who’s being corny now,” Jenson mumbles into your hair after a pause of silence. It makes you giggle, and you pull away from him.

“And look who ruined the moment,” you retort. You try to walk back to the bar and get your drink but Jenson keeps his grip on your waist, pulling you back towards him. You shoot him a look but he simply grins, pulling your waist even closer to him.

“I love you, just in case you ever forget. Happy Anniversary.” He mumbles, kissing you on your nose, making you scrunch your face. Jenson thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world.

Taking his face in your hand, you smile at him, looking satisfied. This was it. This was everything you ever wanted and everything you could ever want. “I love you too, my everything. Happy Anniversary.”

“God, corny,” Jenson mutters, before kissing you fervently and with all the love he could muster. You feel him smile into the kiss, and you do too.

Pulling away, you sigh with a smile, content. Jenson smirks at you before commenting, “You better save some of that for tonight, darling.”

You match him with a grin of your own, “Only if you can keep up.”

[creatively-cosmic]

i wanted to draw something different today soooo. i went n scrounged up a buncha pokepastas that ive read/pokepasta ocs ive seen around recently (mostly via mutuals)! ill tag creators and link sources under the cut, and ramble a little abt my thoughts... ^^

if anyone wants me to untag or remove their stuff from this btw let me know i didnt ask i kinda just. started doodling.

also half of yall i either never followed or only Just did i need 2 remedy that. ive been observing yalls stuff from a distance i keep forgetting to Press the Fucking Button is all

Your Friend Silver (Elias) by @uuberwachen ! this was such an INSANELYYY well written story and it stuck with me for DAYS. it really slots in the space in my mind that holds the classics and the twists and stuff with it genuinely got me. i cant recommend it enough if anyone who sees it hasnt read it yet. i got so excited when i saw a dedicated ask blog went up. i wish i werent scared of sending in questions to those things

Pixel Blue: 3DS VIRTUAL CONSOLE (2016) by @calybunz ! ahhh this was such a cool one to read! id see updates on it incidentally n i can tell a lot of work went into it- it was definitely worth it! its well written with a lot of heart.. maybe im just a sucker for stories that focus on a sympathetic blue.. the ending made me so SAD dude what the fuck. though my favorite parts were probably the dream sequences- godd the imagery of it all was fantastic!

Nuzlight (Mia) at @nuzlight-mia ! this is one i dont know much about yet, but her personality and design really captivated me when i first saw her! she seems like such a sweetheart and i look forward to getting to see more of her :3 i feel so bad for her situation.. the story n concept are all so interesting!

Missing Numbers (Green) at @themissingnumbers ... is our thing but green is hells (@hells1nfern0 ) dude that i have no sway in so. whatever. im unwell about him im excited for more to be revealed abt him :] i cant really say more than that since i know his secrets

FIRE RED FREE DOWNLOAD (Infected/Abandoned RED) by @aibouart ... another one i saw the design of first and was just IMMEDIATELY struck by. i love when stories twist in-universe things that're generally treated as normal and mundane and use its horror potential! a parasect parasite outbreak where the protagonist gets infected by that and ends up full of mushrooms...? thats the kinda shit i love to see >:)

Jack by @sparklingdemon ! cool ass design ive been wanting to draw and a cool concept to go with- the creepyblack protagonist as a grinning-reaper type where the ghost is an extension of him rules. i also loveee when designs utilize the fossil missingno stuff!! kabutops's arms lend themselves REALLY well to being a scythe

Glitchy Red: Retold by @lycankeyy / @glitchyred (idk which blog youd rather have tagged sorry). so i saw this when the official ao3 repost went up or got mentioned or something and it. really. resonated with me. like its hard to put my thoughts into coherent words, other than i had to just. Lay Down for the rest of the night after reading it and just feel whatever emotions struck me. it cut really deep but honestly- that's just fantastic. it's not often that i read something that makes me feel as viscerally as this rewrite did, and i have nothing but adoration for it because of that (we do have the plural bias which doesnt help regarding this lol). in my mind this is the definitive version of glitchy red.

Sanctuary AU (Aster) by @possiblyfunny . ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER NOTE i fucking love aster more than i can put into words. given we get tagged in almost every piece of him that goes up its always such a delight to see and learn more about him! id been planning to draw him for months at this point but only just got around to it haha -v-" i look forward to seeing more abt the sanctuary au! please continue to tag me in those posts idc if it includes my guys or not i just care so much abt it

[zukkaoru]

it has come to my attention that i have not been talking about wlw ships enough, and for that, i am sorry. i apologize for flooding my mutuals' and followers' feeds with nothing but rarepair yaoi; as a lesbian myself, i should know and act better. i should simply like the most popular ship between two canonically female characters in every fandom i'm in, regardless of whether or not i personally feel they would get along or enjoy the majority of the fandom's characterization of them and their dynamic. and i should stop talking about rarepairs with male characters, instead only talking about mlm ships if they're popular, like real lesbians do.

since i first created my Ao3 account in december of 2016, nearly eight (8) years ago, i have only tagged fifty-four (54) fics with the f/f category, and an entire four (4) of those fics were also tagged with the m/m category. this is unacceptable behavior on my part. and while my span of time creating for the f/f category goes from january 10, 2017 with my first fic ever posted on ao3 to september 25, 2024, i realize this means it has been over one full month since i have posted a f/f fic, and none of my five most recent fics on ao3 are tagged with the f/f category. this is a huge misstep on my part and i will work my absolute hardest to rectify it as soon as possible. i understand, too, that my total word count of 266,147 words for f/f fics over the span of these past ~8 years puts me at only approximately 36,018 words of f/f fics posted each year, which is not nearly enough in any way, shape, or form. from the bottom of my heart, i apologize.

in the future, i will work to write more f/f fics, and i will do my best to make sure those fics are only the ones most widely accepted by the fandom, and most easily digestible for anyone who may come across them. this, of course, is simply the duty of a lesbian in any fandom, and i cannot express enough how sorry i am for failing in my job. i will no longer create new tags for sapphic rarepairs and instead pour my energy into making myself like all of the most popular wlw ships in whichever fandom i may find myself in. i will also refrain from going too heavy on the niche headcanons, so as to entice the maximum amount of readers. i have seen the error of my ways, and i accept that i am entirely in the wrong.

please bear with me while i work to better myself. any current wips i have of ships that do not fit the acceptable criteria for a lesbian in fandom to write about will be scrapped, and i will be dropping out of all events i have chosen to take part in if i cannot mold my work to fit these terms, since giving up on rarepair yaoi entirely is clearly the only way i will ever be able to redeem myself.

thank you all for your patience.

grace zukkaoru ❤️

[arowrath]

went thru some of my followers list. stuff ive blocked people for today:

being a tcc blog (didnt even know those guys still existed)

being a bot x2497478546937572

having a blank blog x9

being a proana blog (at least keep it out of my notifs oh my god)

having an unneccarily rude pinned post

being an incest blog

being a 13 year old

being a 14 year old x3

using the word degenerate x2

running a porn blog that was giving me bot vibes (i feel like a lot of heterosexual porn blogs have bot vibes are they bots or do y'all really live like that?? no tags no text just one stolen picture after another of hairless skinny white women with big boobs?)

child abuse joke

had 14 year old vibes x4

no pronouns in bio but in a way that gave me bad vibes x3

proshipping x3 (do you people not read pinned posts or do u just not care)

hasnt posted since 2016 x7

nonpsychotic person calling themself a psycho

harry potter fan ("anti jkr" THEN ACT LIKE IT)

completely untagged rape porn first thing on their blog

obviously transphobic "trans inclusive radical feminist" (red url and all, get fucked)

self proclaimed "yandere"

disagreed with the first post on their blog

header image was gore!

stuff i appreciated while doing this

person who pinned a picture of their dog

"not a bot just lazy" headers (ty for saving me time)

guy with awesome pronouns

fellow covid cautious warrior

the amount of fellow aro and disabled people

reasons i gave up on this endeavor:

got too annoyed

firefox was starting to lag and i followed and unfollowed the same person like four times in a row by accident (SORRY) so i figured it was time to call it quits

day my exam is due:

monday

progress ive made on this exam:

none

[myceliacrochet]

I feel so overwhelmed. I have no income, no stable place to live, and hundreds of people coming to me who need thousands of dollars each to avoid getting incinerated, starved, tortured. I make crochet -- when I can get supplies -- and I'm trying to make stickers, when I can get supplies... I'm not very employable and everything is so expensive and it's all falling on my roommate.

I need to hold a fundraising event

Everyone is either stretched to their limits helping or can't be bothered

I'm doing my best to reblog, follow, and react every single campaign I can that is either vetted or has a clean RIS. I'm telling myself that I'm doing enough by contributing art and promoting these campaigns, but the reality is people need money and I'm giving them condolences and things that may not help much.

I had a bit of success promoting Omar's campaign and foolishly believed I could get those kinds of results again. Tumblr staff is being beyond ruthless, attacking even the critical and dangerous vetting work people are risking their lives for on the ground.

I don't know what to tell people who are coming to me for help in what may be their last moments and I'm like "hey here have a shitty art I made that might make a miniscule difference but probably won't. All the best!" I try to respond through my actions instead of words because like Kurt Vonnegut said there's fucking nothing to say about genocide because no one's meant to say anything they're just meant to get blown up. So then I'm ignoring the people who most need help in the world, coldly turning away. So I say sorry and offer these small useless things as if it means anything and every day I lose more sanity and meaning in my life because doing less than what I can to help people not get genocided takes all the color out of my world. I can't imagine truly relaxing or enjoying anything until there's no genocide happening anymore, and I don't see that happening. I feel hopeless like I did in 2016 but this time there's no back door out.

Every time I start to work on something I feel hopeless like it won't work

I have to get my ass into gear, which means I need to:

- pick up my prescription for strattera, I guess I have that now. That will help me focus

- get back on my antidepressants as soon as Fatima's campaign hits $10,000. That will help me keep moving

- talk to other organizers so we can work together.

I am drowning, I am burning in this hxll created by my own culture. Every day they torture the children and the adults come into my DMs and scream help us please please someone help us.

All I can do is do my best every day. I'll keep moving forward

Doing something is better than doing nothing, gxddammit, which means I'm doing a good job I guess, it's just little comfort as I watch the children get engulfed in flames.

Like, I know I can't end all genocide on my own but there's got to be more effective things that I personally can do.

I guess I'll check out one of those lists of things you can do other than donating money

If anyone has yarn to donate and/or could cover shipping or help me find free yarn in my area, that would be so helpful. Because there's nothing I'd rather do than tune out and crochet most of the time and sell it for myself and others.

Please talk to me about how we can work together to help these precious people!!! I need to do more

@monstermashpotato @sylvianritual @gazavetters @determinate-negation @dlxxv-vetted-donations

@gaza-evacuation-funds @gazagfmboost @fly-sky-high-09 @90-ghost @nabulsi @halalchampagnesocialist @huzni @hussyknee @notallmensheviks @neechees @fuckyeahmarxismleninism @fayruz0-blog @gothhabiba @radicalgraff @marxism-transgenderism @marxist-lesbianism @voyagerprobe @workersolidarity @cheezbot @gayspacemonk @bogleech @slitherbop @butchniqabi

I guess I just need to work on my small business... Idek if I'm even helping by reblogging all this stuff, I'm just spending hours a day spreading stuff around to other people who can't really donate. I just seem to be wasting people's time who are going through genocide, I might even be only adding to their suffering. I don't know if I have the moral fibre to do this work, idk I just seem to cause bad things to happen to myself and everyone around me by dedicating so much time to reblogs instead of just securing an income, paying my bills, and being content to give a "reasonable" portion to genocide relief. I can't do that, I have to give all or most of myself but then I'm just a burden to my roommate and others. Or going all out and doing something really big that could really bring in the money they need

I'm sick but people need me

I guess what I'm seeing here is that I need to switch gears to working on crochet more and that will help me be able to help people and it will also be better for my mental health. I'll work on getting the supplies I need to continue. But idk I'll come back to this later and figure it out.

Thank you for listening I wish I could just let my brain scream to death but like people need me to keep it together so I can actually help but I'm at a loss as to how to help

I'll do it gxddammit I'll fucking get it done I'll crochet for this and it will make a difference and I don't have to suspend happiness until this is over I have to maintain some of that light of happiness within. It's not all on me we are working together

Hey 🩷 So I wanted to let people know that I am safe now. I'm back on my most necessary meds, I've applied for SNAP and general assistance, and I'm feeling stronger after having some more success promoting campaigns.

We are living during multiple holocausts. I take comfort in doing the work. We're making a difference in people's lives.

Thank you for helping me keep my head up. Let's keep going.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

don't you forget about me

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

๑ Summary : will you be true to your word that you won't forget about Eddie when both of you stood on your ground with your hopes and dreams succeeded?

๑ Word Count : idk if y'all like longer fics, but I'm just eyeballing it on the right amount, I'm so excited for this one hehe

๑ Warnings : 18+ Songwriter!Eddie Munson x Popstar!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, highschool classmates, set in modern era (but with 80's aesthetics) Eddie is (21), reader is (20), Eddie is also very shy doesn't know how to express he feels but he cares, reader is jittery and rambles when she's nervous! VERY CUTE! I promise :))

๑ What to Expect : friends to lovers, unrequited feelings, FLUFF! this can be slightly awkward but I am a woman of my word it would be absolutely adorable!

๑ Note To Reader : I just had this idea that Eddie and reader while reunite after so many years later and they both can't handle that their friendship has never changed! it's still pretty rock solid! 😭🫶🏻✨

๑ Author Note : I worship John Hughes films, so, you know the drill! 😉 and um- sorry if I'm bringing myself some of my fics in this but the beginning happened to me in real life, so, yes, I miss that specific person (yeah the same guy that had a crush on for 10 fucking years 😃👍🏻) I haven't seen him since 2018 👀

"Stop- what are you doing?!" you said to him while having a breathy laugh

He smirks as he looks at you within his eyelashes as he tries to hold you still while writing something down on the back of your hand

"Eddie, this is ridiculous" you say to him as you shook your head sideways but a fond smile is sitting on your lips as you glanced at your back a bunch of students are hollering in excitement for the school year end because knowing damn well that whatever he is written down on your hand it will not stay, it would be easily removed once you took a bath when you get home

But, you don't mind it anyways, you smile at him as you watch him curiously as you can see his lips muttering different words under his breath as he writes

"You're the one who is being ridiculous" he says to you not looking at your eyes yet

You chuckle at his reply as you playfully roll your eyes at him

"There" he says as he brings back the cap of his blue ballpen, you heard it with a click

You bring your hand close to your face as you read what it says

"Don't let anyone else stop you for following your dream"

you lightly giggle when some of the words are not aligned as it goes wonky down on the back of your hand but still it's nice and you liked it

"Don't forget about me when you get famous with your singing career" he leans forward to get close to you, so, you could hear him clearly

The hallways are filled with whooping and screaming in excitement of students that are cheering for the school year end, Eddie chortled at the sight of it

You missed the way he looks at you

You raised your head as you flash him a sweet adoring smile as you nod

You shyly taken a back from his words of encouragement that really meant true as you judge by his tone

You snort "Okay, Eddie"

A smile tugs to his lips as he leans his back on the railing as he spoke again "I mean it, Y/N"

You look back at him and you directly look into his eyes

"Just don't ever forget about me, okay?"

It's very heartwarming to you that he is so kind "Of course, I will never forget about you, Eddie"

How would you ever forget Eddie Munson?

When he's the only one guy in your school campus who is so respectful towards you?

That was 2016, nine years ago

You've been classmates since 7th grade and even though you don't both have the same section from 8th grade and 9th grade

You still see each other and interacted a little

You kinda wish that he was still your classmates all those years

Sometimes, though, you winced at the memories when you're with him, you cringe at it at how you make things weird and awkward

You hate it when you get all so jumpy and nervous around him, I mean- it's just Eddie but the problem is that he doesn't know that you just realized it back in 8th grade that you finally figured it out that you developed feelings for him

You both weren't exactly close

Yeah, both of you tease each other and make fun and silly jokes sometimes

Yes, you both have a few conversations and slightly deeper talks about both of your families when your teacher on P.E class partnered the both of you together for the dance project

That's the only time that you ever both talked real to each other

That little moment, until now is still vivid to you

But still, you're not that close to him

He was just a good friend or maybe just a good classmate that you had

You encountered him again back in 2018 when both of your paths crossed while being on the escalators

You noticed him first but before you call out to him, you made sure that it was him because you moved on to another school after 9th grade, so, pretty much something's have changed but him?

He never did, he is still stylish as ever and so are you

But of course, both of you grew up

You're now already looking at him and you expect him to notice you, so, you didn't do anything at first and when you both finally met in the middle of the escalator and he is still doesn't saw you on the other side and he is mere inches close to you and you're too fucking shy to call his name out, you tried to tap on the handles to make a sound but no to avail, as you had no choice but to say his name

"Eddie!"

He whipped his head around the second you call him

He smiles and leans back forward as the both of you stare at each other

You shyly wave at him as you duck your head down to look at where you're going

From the corner of your eye, you saw him reached at the end of the escalator, his eyes still locked on you

But goddamn, it's 2024, you're 20 and he's 21

Both of you are college students now

Your feelings for him remained the same way and all of the crushes that you had from elementary to highschool

He's the only one ever to take over your heart this long

So long that sometimes, you wonder, if you try to confess it, so, it will be all over

But isn't that embarrassing? since well....

You haven't seen him since what?!? 2018???

2018 was the last time you ever saw him

You also haven't talked to him for years

Besides, seeing him on his Instagram profile but that doesn't count

But you did some risky stuff and you made such a big deal out of it because you're too overreacting with your giddy feelings for him

Like for instance

You complimented him on his Instagram stories in 2021 and he only heart reacted on it

You greeted him on his birthday for the first time ever in 2022 (you're wishing that he won't find it weird that you know his birthday and you hoped that he still remembers that he also wrote on your slambook back in 7th grade, that's why you knew) you also send your pictures with him from the field trip that you both had in 8th grade

And that right there, you received a message

A message that is so short but so endearing and it really means a lot to you

He says that he is sorry for not reaching out to you after all of those years passed and he is glad that you hadn't changed ever since then and he appreciates and he is so grateful for the highschool memories that you both had together

Even it's just a short amount of period at that time

2023, you greeted him again on his birthday but he only said thank you

You kinda hoped that he'll message you

But, girl- thank god that you aware of the term called "reality check" because why would he message you all of the sudden since that you both didn't knew very well

You sigh in hopelessly romantic manner wishing that he'll talk to you someday

Yeah, a smile grows on your lips all the time when you always receive a notification that he likes your posts

Damn, only a notification from him already lightens up your day

How fucking great, that's how pathetic it is

"5 minutes then you're good to go!"

Okay, fast forward from your train of thoughts, right- you got a show to run

You're a popstar now and you made it like you always wanted to be

Despite, everyone from your school bullies tries to pull you down

Eddie

Eddie is the only one who believed in you and supported you all the way even both of your lives are different now than before

While in the autograph signing table

"You're such an inspiration!" A young girl said as she beams up as she watches you sign up of your portraits photograph

"Thank you so much, sweetie! I'm very happy to hear that, did you had fun?"

She aggressively nods as she starts bopping up and down on her heels in excitement, you chuckled at that and you gave back the signed picture of yours to her as she gives you huge smile as she takes her leave

You didn't noticed the next person as you start signing

"As you walk on by, will you call my name?"

The sound of the person's voice is too unreal for you to hear and to register of what you just heard as you paused on what you're doing as you slowly raise your head up at the person who is standing in front of the table across from you as you gasp that you thought you're not going to see him again after 2018

But, now, here, he is finally once again

You've always dreamed about this

You've always wanted this to happen

It's unbelievable

You know that face and voice and that iconic smirk on him as you take him in

"Eddie?" You're still gasping in shock as you cupped your mouth in surprise as you look around you and your eyes are twinkling as he looks down on you in adoration and now the other fans that are waiting in line are getting curious and they flash you a smile as they relished and witness the reunion of the both of you

He grins as he nods as he shoved his hands onto his pockets "Ah- she remembers me!" You giggled to his classic antics

He hasn't changed

You could hear everyone who is asking, the buzzing "who is he?" "omg- they knew each other?!?" "wait- maybe he is the guy from her songs!"

You're too overwhelmed from all of this that you almost forget that you have to sign all of the pictures

You motion for him to lean down as you say "Can you wait for me backstage?"

He smiles "Yeah, sweetheart- I'll meet you there"

You sheepishly smile at him again as you gave him access that made everyone eyes goes wild, the crowd seems to go nuts over it

And by that the following question had been like this

"Who is the lucky guy?"

"Why is he getting the special treatment?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

You don't give them all the personal information from your life and all the details but you confirmed that he is the guy from your songs and you love how your fans squealed and get thrilled from this

After an hour, the show is over and you bid goodbye to your fans and thank them for attending, you stretch your arms out and massage your neck as you exhale as you headed into the backstage

"Y/N's a star now" he leans his back on the wall as he smiles at you

He says the moment you moved the curtains on the side as you snort at his comment

You went into the small comfort room as you change your clothes into much more relaxing attire

"Hey, Eddie, I hope you didn't get bored for waiting"

"Nah, I don't mind it- sweets"

Once you get dressed, you open the door, so, you can talk to each other as you start to remove your makeup with a cotton pad as you double cleanse with rinsing it thoroughly

He watches you put a tinted lip balm on your lips, he swallows as he hangs his head low for a while

You groan at the hairstyle that you had earlier but you absolutely loved it getting all glammed up but you're just so tired and wanting to get this everything off so you can get to rest

Both of you kept talking but you didn't notice how he looks at you and watches your every move from removing the pins and hair ties from your hair from brushing it and you let your hair down as you grab your shoulder bag

He is so entranced by you like as you do too

Only if he knew

And only if you knew

His daze has cut off the time when you're literally now in front of him, he snapped out of it when he tries to recall of what you just asked him

"Do you want to walk outside?"

"Y-Yeah sure, come on, let's go"

You told your crew that you'll be back and you look out for them and always saying thank you for getting the job done

The walk was.....pleasing....but too quiet for you

It seems like Eddie can read your thoughts as he finally spoke up

"How many years had passed?"

A knowing smile is showing onto your features as you glanced at him

"9 years"

He raises both of his eyebrows "Damn" as he chuckles in disbelief

"Yeah" the smile still lingers on your lips

"Did you get to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Your band? Corroded Coffin?"

There's a glint on his eyes as he stops to his tracks as he stares at you for a moment

"What?" You ask him in confusion

"Nothing, it's just- you still remember that?" He tilts his head at you as he squints his eyes

"Well, of course! you told me not to forget about you, right?"

"You're always true to your word, sweetheart, I like that for you"

You both sat down on the bench in front of the fountain as you watch random kids playing

He sighs but he notices that you're awaiting for his answer as you quirk an eyebrow at him as he snorts

"Uh, no- Jeff, Gareth and Me, played for 4 to 5 years, I think? We had a blast but I realized that being a rockstar, it's not for me permanently"

"But, I thought you always wanted to be rockstar"

"Yeah, well, we got a record deal for a while-"

"What?!? Really?!?"

He chuckles to your excitement as you turn your whole body facing to him

"Yup, and we- uh- did a little tour here and there but, it just felt like that's not what I was looking for" he shrugs as he looks down as he starts to fidget his rings

You notice that, you always do, it's his nervous habit, you smile at him sadly

"How about Jeff and Gareth?"

"They got all their own ambitions and all of us took the same thing and we agree to not totally disband but, maybe, someday I don't know in the future, we'll get back to where we started"

You nod at him in understanding "I still feel superior to be one of the very first audience" you smirk

He whips his around at you at that and he blinks slowly like he just had a flashback

Yeah, if he's supportive to you and so do you

"the most loud cheerier ever, I gotta say" he laughs as you facepalmed as you can remember all of it

"So, what do you do now?"

"Uh, I'm a songwriter"

You react in delightful way and he chuckles at your face that you make

Both of you reminiscence your highschool memories as both of you look back at it

"Y/N, you-"

"Yeah?"

He hesitates for a few seconds as he chuckles as he dismissive his hand at you

"It's getting late" he says as he clears his throat

Your smile slightly falls as you glanced on your watch

It's been 2 in half hours

"I guess, we better get going then"

You both stand up as he walk you through the parking lot

You dig your nails through your palms as you think twice if you should tell him right away how you really feel about him

You can't chicken out now

You're not a kid anymore, you can take the rejection and well....

At least you tried, so, it will bring you peace

You've been fighting for your whole life not to ask him before, it's plaguing every year passed

Only a few more steps, you can sight your van

You took a deep breath, you know you'll make a rambling mess out of a speech but you don't care

"Eddie" you say as you turn around to look at him

He raises his head the moment you call his name

You walked closer to him as he looks at you as he waits for you to speak

"I know this is going to sound so out of place but uh- I have feelings for you since we we're 7th grade, I didn't know that I had it since I just suddenly realized it when we we're in 8th grade and ever since then and now I still have it for almost 10 years and it's okay, you don't have to-"

"I know"

You're stunned, you can't function to speak anymore

"I-I'm sorry?"

"I know and I'm aware of it"

He can't just say that to you like it was nothing

You're definitely screaming inside to this mind-blowing revelation

Your cheeks starts to glowing red as you feel all bashful to his gaze

Your eyes suddenly can't manage the hold to look in his anymore

"Even before?" You whisper as you wrap your arms to yourself

He's now the one who moves towards you

You're appalled and you didn't even noticed that your mouth is hanging agape as you shut it and swallow

"How did you find out?" You ask without looking at his eyes

He runs his tongue over his lips "from Gareth, and you know him he's got a big mouth and all that"

You close your eyes in humiliation as you bite down your lip

Fuck

You shouldn't have been talking to him or giving a clue

But, sometimes though, you give hints when you're having a conversation with him

Gareth, somehow, finds the missing puzzles and figures it all out

Traitor

You couldn't stand here and you feel ashamed of what you just did, my god, what are you thinking?

"Listen, uh- it's good to see you, I gotta go" you say as your drag your heels to walk away from him as fast as your feet can take you

But, he reaches out and holds your wrist making you stop

"Y/N, don't go"

"Why?"

"Because-" he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair

"I'm no expert in showcasing my feelings, okay? I-I'm shy"

Your entire discomfort of being flustered has completely washed away

You find it amusing, well, Eddie has always been shy but really???

There's nothing to be mousy about when he's with you

"You're shy?" You echoed what he just said as you pursed your lips together

He scratches the back of his neck as he clicks his tongue as he nods his head slowly

You exhale "Well, fuck- Eddie, I'm shy too! I can't even blurt it out loud of what I've been carrying for what?!? 10 years?!?"

You start pacing back and forth in front of him as he breathes through his nose

"See, Eddie, I've always liked you, okay? or maybe I took your kindness way out of line" you throw hands up

He gave you that doe eye look and you avoid looking at it as you continue rambling at him

"I can't even comprehend why? Why am I still clinging onto you for all these years? I hate that you still made me swoon over you and make me feel things!"

His mouth starts to slowly hanging open to your subtle confession

"You know what's unbelievable to me? Is that you don't know me and I don't know anything about you but still it feels like I knew you even though we don't talk a lot back then and it hurts, it hurts that you're so big-hearted and it pains me that you're just so mellow person" your voice cracks and that's where the time the water works starts to fill up in your eyes

You sniffle as you quickly wipe your tears from your cheeks "You're the only guy that has ever been so nice to me, the only who cared, the only one who hasn't changed towards me since highschool, I don't even know what's the reason why"

He is still remains silent, probably still processing every information that you just told him

His eyes softens and his heart is begging to leap forward outside of his chest

"Y/N" he holds your forearm softly as he runs his thumbs over it, you shivered from his touch

"Have you ever wondered why I still don't have a girl beside me?"

He is still single?!? What?!?

You gulped as you look at him with hopeful eyes and tear-stained cheeks

He smiles down at you as you scrunch up your face in a shameful way that you don't like him to see you crying like this

Oh

That's right

You haven't seen anyone with him since elementary or highschool

He had a couple of silly crushes that you heard from your classmates before but still

You don't saw anyone else with him

And that alone made you think a lot since Eddie is not an asshole, it's mind-boggling

You're still in denial that you might think he has the same feelings for you

As if

"Eddie- I think you're a great human being, anyone is lucky to have you"

He chuckles slightly as you dodged his point

"I didn't date because why?"

You take all the courage that's left inside of you as you look at him

"You already have my heart, darling"

Your eyes flutters to his admission, your heartbeats faster that it might burst any second

He likes you?!?

"A-Are you sure? I don't u-understand- why didn't you m-make a move before?" You stuttered, your voice sounds so small and it makes his heartache

"I was a coward" he pulls you closer to him your eyes widen but you melt to his touch

"W-What about the messages that I sent you? Does that mean anything to you?" A sprinkle of insecurity is showing through your tone and he catches it, he reassures you that it means a lot to him

He grins at the birthday wishes that you make before

"I appreciate them all, I-I just didn't know how to express it in there, so, when I found out that you're have a show in here, maybe it's time to take it to the next level, it feels it's the right thing to do in person"

He embraces you for the first time and the only time that you ever became this much closer to him, you feel his warmth enveloping you his arms surrounding you in the most cozy way possible, you sigh in content as you squeeze him

"Feel better?" He asks as he still holds you tightly

"Yes" you whisper softly as you smile against his chest inhaling on his scent, it's intoxicating

The moment you pushed yourself away from him, you slipped on the thin ice as his reflexes are fast enough to catch you before you can hit the icy cold ground

You gasp as your eyes goes everywhere to his face as you held on him to stabilize you to get back up on your feet

He's so mere inches close, his eyes sparkle as he stares at you

He slowly lifts you back on, both of you didn't break eye contact

He can't help himself as his hand crawls at your waist to flush your body against his, you fight for your breath for the idea that he's about to do

His eyes flits through your eyes and to your lips, he goes for it as you close your eyes as you kissed him back

"Is it too late?" The smugness is radiating off of him when you chase his lips to peck on it

"I think we both waited on the right time" you say as you kissed his cheek

His cheeks blooms red as he dramatically freaked out as you let out a fit of giggles

"I'm relieved that you're patient to finally let me get out of my shell"

"Oh, be thankful that I have a wide patience or else I'll fucking lose it"

He laughs as he rest his forehead against yours

"You're the most perfect girl ever"

You smile brightly "And you're the most perfect boy ever"

Your crew call out to you saying that you have interview tomorrow morning

"Be with me?"

"Forever?"

You snort as you elbowed him as he catches you off guard pressing another kiss to your lips

"I love you, Y/N- you have absolutely no idea"

彡★

[seattlesolace]

you've got me wrapped around your little finger // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: jay x fem!reader

summary: you and Jay have been friends forever, and it took you one slow dance, and a couple glasses of wine, to finally realize that you might have harbored feelings of love for him.

genre: fluff, suggestive // trope: friends to lovers // warning: suggestive themes towards the end, hyung-line make an appearance in texts, mentions of being drunk

word count: ~1.8k

author's note: this account is in need of an update, so have this little treat! I might be making more of these little one-shots based on old songs since I already have a whole playlist...

if you feel like this one feels a little different than my other works, it's because this is an old fic that I edited. I made this one maybe in 2016? for a different kpop idol. I've been thinking of reusing/recycling my old fics so I can post them to my accounts, and I hope you don't mind! (the fics haven't been posted elsewhere, so in a way I really am releasing it for the first time)

the song for this fic is this version by Beth Rowley, specifically this version. it's an OST for the movie An Education, but that's totally unrelated.

anyway, hope you enjoy this one!

The lights shone on the wet pavement as the car halted to a stop. The heavy rain that poured down for more than two hours was still persistent making the whole earth soaking wet. You opened the car door with a blazer over your head.

“Thank you, Sir! Jay, quickly!”

Another figure hopped off the car, not forgetting to thank the driver and closing the door shut. Jay took a side and held the blazer with you, running towards the porch of your apartment.

“Your poor jacket,” you said once you were inside. You gave the blazer some pats, attempting to clean it from water droplets.

“It’s fine. It’s not like it’s Armani,” Jay checked his reflection in the mirror beside the doorway, ruffling his hair.

You squinted. “It’s not? It’s really good quality.”

“It’s H&M. Do you really think I would wear an expensive suit to a party with a lot of careless people who can spill wine on you anytime?” Jay took the blazer from you and gave it a good shake. “This will do.”

“Thank God we are dressed up enough for the Uber guy to take us in and not scold us for being in the rain, right?” You climbed up the stairs with Jay following you from behind.

Jay nodded. “If I were wearing my usual clothes I don’t think he’d let us in. He’ll probably think I’m homeless.”

“I would disagree,” you murmured.

“Sorry?”

“I’m starving,” you said, grinning awkwardly.

“Then hurry up and get us inside your apartment and I’ll fix you something up,” Jay nudged you so you can move faster. You struggled with the keys before finally opening the door.

“My good man,” you said, inviting Jay in. Jay walked past you while blowing your bangs. You shrieked a little and quickly fixed your hair.

Jay hung his blazer on the coat hanger by the door and threw himself on the sofa. You waddled and sat down beside him, bending over to take off your high heels.

“No wonder you looked so tall,” Jay peered over at your shoes. “You could literally sprain your ankle if you trip while wearing those, right?”

“Please don’t say stuff that will make me dread wearing heels,” you sighed. “Beauty is pain. High heels look nice. I will sacrifice and put myself in pain in order to look nice.”

Jay nodded. “It does accentuate your legs—OUCH!”

You had slapped Jay's forearm before he could even finish his sentence. Jay chuckled and went on.

“I don’t even know why I decided to go to such a fancy party like that,” Jay leaned on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “And to bring you with me.”

You made an ugly noise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I thought I’d be bringing one of the guys, but they were all busy—“

“So I’m your backup plan.”

“No, what I meant was—“

“You regret taking me?”

“Can you let me finish?” Jay threw a death stare which made you zip up and continued to listen. “The party was pretty boring. I should have taken to you somewhere more fun.”

You nodded. “Which is why we’re back home early. I feel bad, though. I bought this pretty dress and I only got to wear it for an hour.”

You and Jay continued to stare at the ceiling.

“We left so early that we didn’t even get to the dance part,” Jay sighed and ruffled his hair. You turned your head to look at him.

“What were you expecting?”

“A dance with you, of course,” Jay still had his eyes glued to the ceiling. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“You know I can’t dance,” you said as you sat up and stretched out your arms.

Jay stood up and walked over to your laptop that was on the desk, open and untouched. He typed and clicked here and there and suddenly the sound system in your room turned on, playing Beth Rowley’s You’ve Got Me Wrapped Around Your Little Finger.

“Good choice,” you mumbled as you started to close your eyes. Jay walked over to you and reached out his hand. “What?” you asked nonchalantly.

“Dance with me,” Jay’s voice was stern and he looked serious. You laughed.

“I will if I’m drunk,” you refused before you went back to close your eyes. Jay set the song on repeat and walked over to the kitchen. After spending so much time looking around, you just had to finally ask.

“What are you doing?”

“You have wine, don’t you?” Jay opened the kitchen counters one by one. “If drinking will make you dance then let’s open one.”

You stood up, kicked away your high heels, and waddled over to where Jay was. You tiptoed a bit to reach the top kitchen counter and pulled out a bottle of wine.

“That looks too fancy,” said Jay, checking the bottle out. “Isn’t there a cheaper one?”

You shook your head. “It’s my only bottle.”

Jay scrunched his nose, unsure. “And you’re willing to open it?”

“Might as well,” you shrugged. Jay grabbed the corkscrew laying on the counter and skillfully popped open the bottle. You were subtly impressed.

“I don’t have proper wine glasses,” you peered into the drawers where you kept your mugs. “These will do, I guess.”

Jay looked at the Ryan-shaped mug and the Cony glass that you took out. He burst out laughing while pointing at the Ryan mug.

“I know someone who would love this,” he said as he poured the wine into it. You decided to keep quiet about how it was your ex-boyfriend who gave it to you as a random gift.

After pouring the wine and clinking your mugs together, and two to three more mugs later, you were already tipsy. Jay was still looking sober, and he wouldn’t shut up about how your tolerance was so low.

Your laptop then died of low battery about two glasses ago. Jay set his empty mug on the coffee table and plugged in your laptop to play the same song again. As the intro played, he walked over to you and reached out his hand one more time.

“Fine,” you sighed. “But I’m bringing this,” you raised your mug, still half full. Jay shrugged and pulled you up from the sofa.

You've got me wrapped around your little finger If this is love, it's everything I hoped it would be You've got me wrapped around your little finger You will see, by my words just how much you mean to me

Jay was fully aware of how unskilled you were at dancing, so he kept it lowkey and just took you for a slow dance. You had one hand around Jay's neck, the other close to your chest, still holding the mug. Jay placed both his hand’s comfortably around your waist.

“Is this dancing?” you asked. Your voice was starting to become hoarse. Jay wasn’t sure if it was the wine or just you being tired, but you sounded a thousand times more attractive.

You look a thousand times more attractive too, he thought.

“For you, I think you could get away with calling this slow dancing. I’m just worried you might break something if I spin you around.”

With that being said, you spontaneously spun yourself around and landed back into Jay's embrace. He laughed wholeheartedly.

“Wasn’t expecting you to do that,” he said. “Spin again.”

This time Jay took the mug out of your hand and hold your other hand to properly help you turn. Your flushed cheeks became even redder with your laughter.

When we kiss, it's as if our lips agree that we were meant to be When we touch, it's too much Oh the sparks that fly, are lighting up the sky

The song continued and you were already dizzy from spinning just two times. Jay decided it was best not to give your mug back. After mumbling-complaining for a while, you gave up and went back to slow dancing.

Both of you weren’t really paying attention to the lyrics, but somewhere along the song your eyes locked. Without blinking, you moved your head closer so that your nose touched Jay's. There was a brief silence before Jay finally closed the distance between your lips and you shared your very first kiss ever. Sweet, sour from the wine, and definitely warm.

You gasped and broke the kiss as you felt liquid seeping through your dress. Jay pulled back. His eyes widened at the huge red stain starting to form on your precious new dress.

“Jay…”

“I am so sorry, do you want me to—“

“Leave it to someone sober to spill wine on you, huh?” you gave Jay a little punch as you chuckled. Jay's face was already pale from the paranoia of being scolded by you. Especially after a kiss.

“I’m gonna go clean this up,” you said, swiftly making your way to the bathroom. When Jay wasn’t looking, you grabbed your phone and rushed away.

---

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whispered as you looked at yourself in the mirror, cheeks still flushed and red. Either from the wine, or the kiss. Or both.

You unlocked your phone and opened the group chat with your two friends, which already had 145 unread chats.

You: MAYDAY Isa: there she is Yoon: we were wondering where you were You: Jay and I just kissed

Isa and Yoon both started typing at the same time.

Isa: WHAT????? Yoon: YOU DID NOT! Isa: HOW WAS IT Isa: TELL US EVERYTHING Isa: SPILL IT Yoon: UNNIE YOU DID NOT!

After spending a couple of minutes too long, you heard a knock on the door.

“Are you okay in there?” asked Jay from the other side.

“I’m okay,” you shouted back. “The stain is just too hard to remove.”

Not hearing a reply, you went back to the chat. “Maybe I shouldn’t have?” you asked.

Isa: hey, the heart wants what the heart wants Yoon: we’re in no place to judge but you go, unnie!

Meanwhile, Jay took the time to check on his own group chat with his boys. He announced the same thing and all three of his friends freaked out.

Sunghoon: You finally did? Jake: How was it? Heeseung: Tongue?

Jay had to tell the boys to chill before explaining and finally ending his rant with a simple “I should have kissed her sooner.”

He didn’t have a chance to reply to the responses since you suddenly came out of the bathroom, helplessly walking back to the couch with the red stain on your dress only faintly cleaned.

Jay slipped his phone into his pockets real quick while you left yours in the bathroom. You both exchanged a silent, long, but meaningful glance at each other. Jay had to break the ice.

“I guess you have to take it to the laundry then?”

You smiled awkwardly. “Yeah.”

You both shifted your gaze somewhere else before looking at each other again. The song was still on repeat.

“Do you… want to…”

“Dance again?” you cut him off. Jay wasn’t quick enough to offer his hand because you instantly wrapped yours around his neck again. With a smile, Jay moved closer until your foreheads touched.

If this is love, it's everything that i've been dreaming of

-END-

© seattlesolace 2023, all rights reserved

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[bestangelofall]

HI hope you are well! sorry if you’ve already done something like this and i’ve missed it, but i was wondering if you had any recommendations for people who want to get into black widow comics? i have very little marvel comic knowledge but your posts have made me want to read about black widow and i’m not sure where to start

Hi @strangesickness!! I am great :D and I hope you are well too :)

Also, hi anon who asked the same thing! I hope you're well too! I'll answer everything here.

Sorry for taking so long to reply to this... I was doing some reading and rereading of my own before making this post.

For a completionist reading list, I will refer to this link, which was recommended by someone here (I don't remember who, and I can't find my own post now 😭).

Note: I haven't read everything in that list, but I am randomly making my way through it. Also, I can speak more about Natasha's solos, so my rec list is mostly based on those.

In terms of personal preference and what I also consider important, I'd highlight the following: The Name of the Rose, Black Widow (2014) and Black Widow (2004).

The Name of the Rose

I think the last time I answered this question here, I recommended The Name of the Rose (Black Widow (2010) - #1-5, by Marjorie Liu) as a starting point, and I mostly still stand by that, in that if it's the only BW comic you'll ever read, read that one. I started with that one coming from the MCU, and I think it has everything that I like about Natasha: her protectiveness, ruthlessness, competence, and how much she *cares* about people and how that guides her actions. The art by Daniel Acuña is good too (though not my favorite, it serves the story well), but apart from the good characterization, what really shines is the prose itself. Some parts are very poetic, and I simply love the way Liu arranges words, I suppose.

This is my favorite comic book ever, and my only complaint is that Liu only wrote 5 issues of Black Widow and then never again... please bring her back!!!!

Note: BW2010 has another three issues and they are completely mid. Read them if you want, but I just want to make it clear that it's jarring to go from issues #1-5 to the rest of it lol, and i personally wouldn't recommend xD

Black Widow (2014)

If my complaint about The Name of the Rose is that it's too short, with Black Widow (2014) by Nathan Edmondson that is not an issue. This run is 20 issues long, and all of them are excellent! The characterization is spot-on, and once again, everything I love about Natasha is present here. Personally I think this is the run that goes deeper into her ethics, and the way Edmondson approaches the tragedy of her character and all the heartbreak and fucked-up-ness is very tasteful. Also, Liho (her cat) is in this run, and in a way that adds to her lore and characterization in a way that may be unexpected. Phil Noto's art is simply stunning (he's my favorite Natasha artist *by far*).

Personally, I consider The Name of the Rose and BW2014 *the* Black Widow comics, in terms of them being important and also good, but in a close third place comes Black Widow (2004).

Black Widow (2004)

Black Widow (2004) by Richard K. Morgan has some pretty important things of her lore appearing for the first time (I believe, anyone reading this please feel free to correct me) (like mind manipulation, more details about the Red Room, and interestingly, the pheromone thing from the BW movie comes from this comic too). I love the art style of Bill Sienkiewicz which is more artsy. Characterization-wise, what really shines here is the discussion of sexism. Defense of women is a huge thing for Natasha (you'll see that in The Name of the Rose and BW2014), but it's never as deeply discussed as it is here.

Now, there are other books that I liked, and that are solid, but that I simply don't find as good as the top tier books discussed above.

Black Widow (2016)

Black Widow (2016), by Chris Samnee and Mark Waid, is a fun run that has decent characterization but a somewhat repetitive plot (Natasha is on the run and all that, which I think both The Name of the Rose and BW2014 just do better... but then again, that's like, more than half her comics so it's not a completely fair complaint, I suppose). It has some Red Room lore, and I always love that. Samnee's art is really pretty to look at, too (some of the prettiest Nat is in this book, ngl). I definitely recommend it, because it's a solid run.

No Restraints Play (Black Widow 2019)

I recently read No Restraints Play, by Jen and Sylvia Soska, and I liked it a lot. I'd say it has a lot about what I love about Natasha that I already mentioned previously, but she's mentally less stable in this one, so compared to the rest of the recs here, she does more unhinged shit in this book (but not by much tbh... I think it's just the tone that gives that impression). I read it before reading Secret Empire and Tales of Suspense (discussed in more detail below), and I think that I didn't miss that much context that technically would be needed from those books.

Now, there's the section of "I like it because I ship Buckynat".

Captain America (2005)

Captain America (2005), by Ed Brubaker, is the book where Bucky comes back™. Natasha only appears from issue #27 onwards, so this is definitely a rec if are interested in the ship (although it is a very good run on its own, and obviously essential if you are interested in Bucky at all).

Winter Soldier (2012)

Winter Soldier (2012), by Ed Brubaker, features Natasha heavily, and while I don't love some of thing it does to her, I enjoy it for the ship and for the angst (it is also somewhat relevant for Natasha going forward, for example, the thing™ that happens here is referenced in Natasha's solos such as BW2014, but it isn't anything that you will be lost if you just google what happened if you want to skip this).

Moreover, books already mentioned previously, such as The Name of the Rose, BW2014 and BW2016 also have Buckynat content, but it's minor.

Apart from the three recs above, there are other comics that I really liked, though I can't say that all of them are exactly good.

Black Widow (1999) and Black Widow (2001)

So, are BW1999 and BW2001, by Devin Grayson, good? Ehhh. No. Specially in the case of BW1999 (the art of this one is also atrocious). Do they compel me? Immensely. I like these two because there's content of Natasha and Yelena being weird about each other. That's it. When I read them years ago I thought they were really mid *at best* (though I like the art style of BW2001 a lot), but on a reread a few months ago I got bitten by the Yelenat bug and developed a new appreciation for these minis.

Note: BW1999 is also Natasha's first solo, but in terms of characterization and lore it doesn't really establish a lot...

Secret Empire and Tales of Suspense

The gist is: Natasha dies in Secret Empire and then gets revived in tales of Suspense #103-104

I know most people hate Secret Empire. To be honest, I don't know a lot of Marvel beyond Natasha and some Bucky and Steve to hate on this properly, but the common complaint appears to be that everyone is OoC... except for Natasha.

I'm not gonna lie, I blorbo-read this one, asking "where is she" whenever Natasha wasn't in the panels xD (and I also read it because I want to write a meta-post and it seemed important for the theme I have in mind). All that being said, I think it has some *fantastic* Natasha moments... so make of that what you will.

Tales of Suspense #103-104 are incredibly fun, and I think it drops some incredibly fucked up bits of lore (that will likely never be explored to their full potential 😭), but it's not essential or anything...

And lastly, thing that I don't like but that might be important:

Black Widow: Deadly Origin

I personally don't like Black Widow: Deadly Origin, by Paul Cornell, but some people consider it to be important, as it does go into more detail about the Red Room and her backstory. It's not even that I dislike *what* happens in this book, but more that I don't think it was tastefully done (it's the misogyny). I think it all could have been handled better by another writer without even changing the events themselves. The art also doesn't help tbh. I would still recommend reading it for those Red Room bits and pieces, just maybe not as a priority.

Aaand that's all I have to recommend for now! I hope this is helpful and can make you take the dive into Black Widow comics, because Natasha is a fascinating character!