#so sorry for the inactivity!! but this is why lmao.

[hypothetical-silmarillion]

um

enjoy?? ? ? ??? i made this half asleep so if i made it now i probably wouldve made his shoulders broader or something by a little bit. idk

[oiblackestsheep]

MBTI Types as Annoying Things THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LAB THIS WEEK AUGHH!!!

Disclaimer: I am very unhinged because this week has been the absolute worst, but I am always professional and polite to everyone in the lab, I just gotta get this out somehow you know what I mean lmao. please enjoy this meme for me

I threw away my own experiment by accident because I was just so done with its bullshit: INFP, ISFP

The new hire turned off a computer that killed EVERYONE'S EXPERIMENTS AT THE SAME TIME: ESTP, ENTP

Boss tasked me with teaching students a new procedure that I've never even done before myself????: ISFJ, ENFP

The same machine broke down more times than a McDonlad's milkeshake machine and it's making me LOSE MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE TO KEEP FIXING IT: ESTJ, ISTP

Student researchers only available for 2 hours a day and spend most of it flirting instead of doing actual science: ESFP, INFJ

Boss added a "do this extra thing" to one of my experiments that sounds easy enough but actually adds like 1000 hours onto the whole process and she does not understand how big of a burden that is: INTJ, INTP

Student researcher keeps asking me "what does [boss] mean in this email she sent me" instead of just ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION FROM HER DIRECTLY: ESFJ, ISTJ

New hire admits being very new and has little background in our area of research, but still chooses to fight me on the validity of procedures that I am extremely familiar with and knowledgeable of??: ENTJ, ENFJ

[bomnun]

if penbamra didn’t exist I would’ve given up on all of this (kpop) months ago. I already said this, but I really don’t feel like I’m a kpop fan anymore, just a penbamra fan 😹😹

[throwaway-yandere]

Apotheosis Upon Your First Feast (Yandere!Wanderer & Pantalone/Reader)

Commissioned by: @leftdestiny-posts/@eternally-frozen (ilysm. Feel free to kill me later lmao)

unreliable synopsis: After being reassigned to Vanarana when your previous coworker became the Acting Grand Sage, with the help of Ararycan, you reunited met a wanderer on an abandoned machine. Unfortunately for someone, your childhood friend "Pantalone" has ears and eyes everywhere. (Avoid this fic if you’re not a fan of dark content. It’s not too dark but your mental health matters!) 

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please use the InteractiveFics extension and change “(Y/n)” to whatever name you want, “[Wanderer]” to his chosen name, and lastly, also change “(wood/salt)” to… whichever option you feel like. It’s a surprise mechanic *wink*. If you're reading this on a phone, just pick between wood or salt right now, keep your choice in mind and commit to it : )

Afterwards, would you be so kind as to answer this fun poll after reading the fic? Danke ♡

“Why doesn't Nara (Y/n) eat what Arasaka prepares for them? Does Nara (Y/n) lack appetite lately?”

“O-Oh, well, that’s…” You paused, looking down at the broth, “in all honesty, your cooking tastes bland…”

“H-Huh?!”

Time had passed since Lesser Lord Kusanali's official ascent to power and now is the fifth month since you first made friends with the Aranaras. Many events took place before you found your pyro vision becoming Arasaka's torch as they cooked– and if any of your coworkers saw you now, they probably wouldn’t identify you as Alhaitham’s (only) friend and Ex-Sage Azar’s lazy employee.

Maybe they would've if you helped Alhaitham and his teammates secure Sumeru’s future.

Sure, your name isn’t listed in the coup d’etat, but that’s only because you wished for the Akademiyan scholars to make the epiphany for themselves. As Azar’s ex-assistant, you laid low from projects as a prerequisite so that the populace may acquire a personality of their own to make the nation truly deserving of the title “Land of Wisdom.” 

Alas, that did not happen.

Alhaitham’s tactics were not wrong, but you felt like his group spoonfed Sumeru citizens with the Fatui’s crimes rather than having their own realizations. It did not feel like growth to you. It felt like the people casually learned from a one-sitting textbook rather than a hands-on experiment when they should’ve personally learned how minacious blind ambitions could be. In turn, he argued that your ideas were barbaric and that scholars revolting was not in the realm of possibility– hence, you did not lend your aid. Perhaps your inaction had pissed him off, but it’s more likely that he finds that sending you to Varanara was ideal for his workload. 

And in some strange domino effect, refraining from helping a coup d’etat meant eating the tasteless food known to man.

Since you were personally assigned a senseless task to patrol and report weather patterns in the area (which is unnecessary and quite frankly boring), you had befriended the infamous aranaras children from Port Ormos hear stories about. 

But the mundanity doesn’t hurt your pride as a graduate scholar. It's been fun so far.

“I'm sorry, 'Saka, it's just that I think your food lacks a bit of salt–"

"ASSISTANT (Y/N), THERE YOU ARE!!!"

Both of you flinched, causing Arasaka to topple over. The sound hurts. You snapped your neck towards the sound. An adventurer– Baharak– stood with both hands wrapped on her bag's shoulder straps with a silly grin on her face.  

… You’re turning the setting of your hearing aids down.

“Baharak, it’s been a while,” you spoke. “Would you mind not yelling whenever you call for me?”

“Oops– Sorry (Y/n)! I mean– sorry, Assistant (Y/n).”

Changing her volume doesn’t undo the pain she inflicted on your ears. Gently, you pushed Arasaka behind an elevated jag of root to cover them. To escape suspicion, you continued to stare at Baharak while feigning sleepiness.

“What are you here for?”

“The Forest Watcher received a letter addressed to you. The sender doesn’t have a name again, it just has the coin-seal thing.”

“Please hand it over.”

“Aight!– I mean, alright.”

After dismissing the loud adventurer and giving her spare mora as thanks, you waited until she was out of sight. Arasaka suddenly rose and jumped onto your lap, equally curious about what was written on the salt-scented parchment. Arasaka's preppy manner soon turned sour as they discovered who the sender was.

It’s a letter from your best friend, "Pantalone".

“Aww…” Arasaka whined. “Arasaka was hoping it was the Verdant Nara instead.”

You tore it open.

 

"My dearest, (Y/n),

If it's not too much to ask, may I trouble you to visit my office in Northland Bank soon? I merely wish to see you. Spending Lantern Rite alone this year was not a pleasant experience. It's just for a mere chat- I'll reimburse your traveling and dining expenses. Care to make it up to me?

Your beloved,

As per tradition, you threw the letter in the fireplace. Pantalone doesn’t like leaving a trail of evidence, naturally, you assumed the same applies here.

It's never a chore to visit a friend. Maybe you'll head there tomorrow–

“Arasaka doesn’t like Nara Pantalone.”

The aranara lowered their head, continuing, “Nara Pantalone reminds Arasaka of the Taste of Sadness.”

Cute. 

Every time Pantalone comes to visit, the aranaras behave like envious little siblings. Ever since you started patrolling Vanarana, the place had become the harbinger’s premiere leisure destination. The woods critters frequently tried to undermine his gifts, but they were adorably ineffective. Even if Pantalone cannot see them, the situation is nonetheless amusing.

If you remember correctly, the Taste of Sadness means salt to aranaras, right?

“Ah, well,” you laughed. “I guess you must be incredibly sensitive to his smell. He took quite a liking to salt-infused perfumes last year.”

“Don’t like perfume.”

“But I am wearing one though… Has the scent been bothering you all this time, Arasaka?”

“No, Arasaka was wrong. Arasaka likes perfume, and Arasaka hates salt. Taste of sadness. The scent of sadness.” 

“Oh, no! If Pantalone’s smell makes my dear Arasaka sad, then maybe we should drown him in Varunastra,” you chuckled darkly, expecting the aranara to react loudly over your out-of-pocket remark.

“Of course. Salt Nara would make for decent spare rations!”

You laughed out loud at Arasaka’s even more out-of-pocket reply. Out-of-pocket is an understatement, that comment straight up sounded out-of-the-CASKET. 

Before standing up, you ruffled Arasaka’s nonexistent hair like you would with your deceased sisters.

“I’ll come back in a few days, okay? In the meantime, why don’t you read a cookbook?”

“Hmph! Nara (Y/n), you’re being mean! Just wait! My sisters will make a dish Nara (Y/n) can’t say “no” to!” 

“It’s a dumb risk.”

“It’s a new business venture, dearest.”

“The market for new eyeglasses isn’t going to rise any time soon.”

“Why are you so adamant on opposing this idea?”

“Stagnation breeds putrefaction, especially in business, does it not?” You raised an eyebrow, preparing for a harangue. 

“Je suis d’accord!” The man spoke softly, accentuating his Fontaine pronunciation somewhat boastfully. Knowing your disability, he never raises his voice to the point of it hurting. “And it is precisely why I want to invest in an eyewear conglomerate in Sumeru.”

“Then why are you dropping your prior investments?!”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

You sighed, annoyed.

Pantalone is an amazing businessman, but without your council, he wouldn’t amount to who he is now. Unlike most people, “sneakily ambitious” are not the words you would describe your visionless friend. Such a moniker sounds insulting given his lack of celestial blessings and you know Celestia itself never took kindly towards his well-versed dirty tricks against his opponents.

In your humble opinion, the term “industrious” is a better-suited and less backhanded compliment for him.

You’ve known Pantalone— no— “██████” since childhood. Your history stretched back so much that you no longer recall the circumstances of how you befriended him. He acted as your ears when it came to haggling and normal day-to-day chores. As far as you know, he has always been an older brother to you. In times of extreme poverty, you both prayed and starved together, scraping by using salt rocks as entrees. 

There was no one else that made your deafness bearable except for him. With no family left, he was your only beacon of hope and dear Morax– you’d rather not remind yourself of the time your dead sisters mistakenly ate mud for rice cakes when famine struck.  

You chose Amurta out of the Six Great Schools for a reason:

You can’t afford to watch anyone die of hunger ever again.

When you began living in Sumeru, you had pledged your alliance with the region but never forgot all the toil you had to go through. As a malnourished child, you quickly fell in love with the nation. In Sumeru, healthcare was free– in Liyue? You heard nothing, and you wished that “advantage” doesn’t make you blind from the evil you witnessed in the slums. Poverty ate away your hearing, your family, and your childhood dreams… 

In a way, the only reason you see aranaras in the first place may be that you didn’t have the chance to experience any childlike wonder until you escaped Liyue.

Pantalone scoffed, “whether you agree with my financial decision or not doesn't affect my resolve. Do not press more about this, dearest.”

… But you’re convinced that your closest confidant “██████” had already perished from starvation long ago.

The man before you calls himself “Pantalone” nowadays and you lose all sense of indolence whenever his presence looms. When he watched your last sister perish in your arms, an epiphany gave birth to his cold demeanor towards deities. He found it challenging to worship the Archons who had no need for mora but were eager to take it away from destitute mortals who needed it as you and your sisters did. The death of your younger sibling was his final straw, and in a sense, you also buried your old friend that night. 

Unlike ██████, Pantalone cannot forgive nor trust the Archons for their broken promises. If Lesser Lord Kusanali had abandoned withered forests, Rex Lapis had abandoned those whose blood and tears cannot amount to any mora. You were only allowed to study at the Akademiya after he decided the former was the lesser evil.

Although Pantalone never condemns you for calling him by his birth name, you cannot tell yourself that he and ██████ are fully the same person. There is an unspoken need to straighten your posture and greet him with a semi-scowl to demonstrate your maturity despite him acting cozy and warm. Worse, his lax demeanor never ceases to remind you that despite his uncomfortable reputation, Pantalone is the only companion you’d entrust your soul to even when the world warns you not to deal a contract with the devil.

“You just want to use new brackets every day—”

“I am a businessman, love.”

You speared Pantalone with a pointed look.

“—And why Sumeru? Have you landed a deal with a reputable Amurtan optician? And why didn’t you ask ME first? You weren’t cornered by Dottore or the Tianquan to kickstart an eyeglasses company, were you?”

He scowled, unamused before firing back without skipping a beat. 

“Summer, seven years ago. You accidentally bought six bunraku puppets from Inazuma—”

Your eyes widened. Not this embarrassing anecdote again.

“Woah, woah! Now, why are YOU extorting me?”

“So you’d be silenced quicker.”

“…”

This reticence was slowly exasperating the harbinger, but he never utters a complaint when you're whom he's conversing with. Pantalone cleared his throat with an elegant smile. In that moment of cessation, you figured that he had a seemingly innocent proposal in mind.

“(Y/n), my most dearest baobei…” The harbinger ventured.

“Pantalone…”

He pulled out his desk drawer and ferreted out a parcel that you suspect contains a pair of glasses.

“Would you care to be a test sub—”

“No.”

You have a gut feeling as to where this is going. He’s going to propose that it’s “just” glasses until you find out he’s been using you to track or spy on someone without your knowledge. Classic Pantalone. You won't be duped by that TWICE in a row. If you knew better, you wouldn’t have accidentally leaked intel to the Fatui that Katheryne was being controlled by the Lord of Verdure. All because Pantalone hid a recorder on one of his “gifted” hearing aids...

Listen— just because you refused to lend a hand to the Archon when she was in need and was subsequently confronted by the 2nd harbinger in Sumeru City doesn’t mean you were colluding with these fools. 

You just wanted to remain neutral in any given situation. Unlike your childhood friend, politics bore you to death. And just like the Acting Grand Sage, you’re too lazy to act as a beta tester no matter how minimal the effort the task requires.

“I only ask that you wear this pair of glasses and test its comfortability.”

“I refuse.”

“We can negotiate how much mora you’ll earn—”

“Just stop.”

“Hmm, if I phrase it as a “gift”, would you accept—”

“Hell no.”

Pantalone paused.

“Hmm…” He tapped his desk, gazing at the paperwork neatly piled up.

“Word of advice, (Y/n), it’s highly probable that the price of cocoa will rise next week,” he shrugged. “That fact is, of course, most definitely unrelated to our current discussion.”

Is he… 

Is he threatening to generate chocolate inflation over a pair of glasses?!

You scoffed, eyes wide.

“██████, you worthless SCALPER.“

“The majority prefer to call me a ‘regrator’, but that new nickname is acceptable as long as it is you who makes such mildly unpleasant utterances.”

“GAH! You— YOU—” Even though he may completely ruin your usual routine of buying chocolates after work, it's difficult to curse him out. You have no choice but to spout illogical syllables without a valid clause. “JUST— YOU!!! YOU.”

Smack.

Upon hearing your facepalm resoundingly, he laughed uncontrollably, removing his glasses to wipe his eye with an uneven grin on his face. He tried to keep his composure but he kept snorting. 

You took a peek between your fingers. What a precious noise. You haven’t heard him laugh like this for over three years now.

At that moment, you thought ██████ was alive.

“F-Fine— give me those damn eyeglasses.”

Pantalone drifted the parcel above your palm until he quickly retracted it as soon as you reached forward.

“But before I do that, can you promise me one thing?”

“What is it this time?” You groaned.

“Don’t lend it to anyone else, understand?” Pantalone slightly ruffled your hair. “I had it custom-made for you.”

You rolled your eyes, “that thing is definitely wiretapped. You’re not even bothering to hide it anymore.”

“Oh no, it’s not just that—” 

“Just that?”

He shrugged smugly, which was not a good sign. 

“The eyeglasses function similar to an Akasha Terminal, but of course, the information you’d find there is directly from my database.”

Pantalone opened the box and swiftly put the white-framed glasses on your face. He lightly tapped the frame—

and a control panel window flickered open.

Just like an Akasha.

“H-How on earth—”

“The Doctor and I had a deal. He’ll recreate at least 80% of a regular Akasha’s functions while I help him track down a few… crops. It’s a quid pro quo, I promise. It’s less of him exploiting me and more of me exploiting…— well, that doesn’t matter right now. C’mere, let me see your lovely face...”

Pantalone tilted your chin up with his thumb. His face was inches away from yours, and his piercing lilac eyes observed your glasses and what was behind them, calculating. His breathing was notably strained in a subconscious attempt to make you feel less uncomfortable from the position he trapped you in— ever the perfect gentleman— but you see his entire face flushed in a pinkish hue. A few seconds have passed, and you feel the glove pressed against you twitching. 

Pantalone pulled away, shoulders stiff.

His ears were red.

“I-It’s working as intended.”

If not for the nature of your relationship, you were close enough to kiss– an appealing notion for the harbinger, yet it is not a move he should bring himself to try.

“Y-Yeah, no kidding. That was awkward.”

He gripped his arm, looking at the window.

Pantalone is painfully aware you think of him as an older brother. Or at least, the shadow of one, given how you rarely call him by name anymore.

“My apologies, I simply wanted to take a good look at you.'

He muttered, “you’ve grown into a gorgeous person, (Y/n).”

You didn’t hear him.

“██████– I mean, Pantalone–”

“Go back to calling me ██████, dear.”

“Pantalone.” You put more emphasis on his harbinger name, watching in glee as he rolled his eyes, “I expect to be paid in chocolates and at least two months’ worth of food.”

Indeed, your proposed exchange pleased him. ██████ knows how much you value healthy eating and abhor it greatly when others waste grains of rice. Time and imagination had transformed his early memories as you as a human so close to a skeletal figurine with sunken cheeks and broomstick-like limbs. Those thoughts cause him much sorrow. Pantalone would have pampered you for free if you had only let him– seeing you eating healthy gives him life. Almost like how a father would tell his children that seeing them full is enough to make him full as well. 

Let him spoil you with food. Please.

Seeing you thin makes him feel sad.

“What do you want to eat for dinner later? My treat, as always.”

“Mint salad sounds lovely.”

“Just mint salad?” Pantalone smiled thinly.

His dearest baobei, no longer skin and bones. No longer barely fueled by rice and salt. No longer skipping meals. It warms his heart more than the exclusive springs offered to him because of his mora and title… But it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

“Hmm… Would it be okay to request a plate of Triple-Layered Consommé?” You muttered, gazing at the floor. “I kind of miss your cooking… Just. Just kind of.”

His heart skipped a few beats as he saw your shy expression. 

You straightened up, coughing, “not that your cooking is anything special, it’s just that I don’t want to eat anything too bland and–”

“Of course! Anything for you, my love.”

Pantalone grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“My baobei, you’d be too full to walk once I’m done spoiling you…”

“D-Did you have to word it so seductively?!”

You blushed once again, which only served to worsen his urge for making you undeniably satiated. 

Oh, how he wants to keep you in a cage, locked up, and fed until he’s satisfied that you’ll never starve again…

Maybe then, you’d let him spoon-feed you like years before...

There's no rest for the wicked. When you returned to Vanarana the next day, the aranaras pulled you in for another chore at Devantaka Mountain.

“Hey, little man, get down there, right now!” 

You screamed with your hands cupped around your mouth to amplify your voice. The aforementioned "small man" scoffed, not shifting an inch from his posture, as the blue aranara crept up behind you.

Ararycan worriedly relayed that a “Wood Nara” had been trespassing the large abandoned Khaenri’ahn machine. The little vegetable-like creature had grown to trust you when it came to scaring off unwanted guests, which usually entailed eremites or treasure hoarders scavenging for scrap metal. 

“Ararycan wants to stop Wood Nara.”

You gently pried the wire off their hand, keeping it in your pocket in a very definite fashion. 

“I know, ‘Rycan, but Naras are stubborn beings.”

“Just like Nara (Y/n)?”

You gasped, eyes widened.

These plant-like beings are surprisingly masterful at the art of roasting.

 “Just like Nara (Y/n), you say?! Rude, Ararycan, rude.”

You laughed humorlessly, masking your jadedness with forced laughter. 

In all honesty, you’re inclined to believe that this job reassignment was Alhaitham’s way of punishing you for remaining neutral. But surprisingly? An Amurta alumnus like you have been enjoying the task and in no small part thanks to these silly little creatures.

It's absurd to imagine that you would consent to be pulled by these vegetable creatures. You initially believed that they were paracosms produced by a lack of stimulation. You once tried to ignore them. Regrettably, that frail facade didn't survive due to a couple of slip-ups. The first to catch you drawing their likenesses next to your weather reports was Arapas. The second was Arabalika, who overheard you whispering about how powerful they were after they defeated a ruin grader, and then Arama who heard you humming their songs. They’ve built up quite the case against you, and you had to fess up before they start giving you a hard time.

By “hard time”, you were referring to how a crowd of tumultuous aranaras huddled up and tugged your hearing aids’ wire with their teeny hands incessantly.

Which was what Ararycan is doing right now.

“Get us up there, Nara (Y/n).” 

"Careful, Rycan– you might damage the wire."

Suddenly, the hatted man's eyes widened after seeing you. Call it intuition, but it seemed like this total stranger knew who you were.

You made an exaggeratedly loud inhaling sound, turning off your hearing aids momentarily.

And then, a scream.

“STOP, STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!! RIGHT!!! NOW!!!”

The difference between stupidity and bravery is measured by outcome, and neither are variables you wish for this “Wood Nara” to test out. Alhaitham would have you write two pages detailing an incident if the stranger broke something and eight more if the machine awakened. And sadly, you are only a small percent less lazy than that man.

Despite your words droning childishly, you made no move to approach him. His eyes sharpened, but you felt no scrutiny— 

This man you’ve never met wore a blatant look of disbelief.

You looked down.

Maybe he could see Ararycan…?

“Hey— can you see them?”

You swiftly swept Ararycan off the ground, who made a surprised yelp. 

The man winced.

"P-Please… Leave the forest alone…"

"And why should I care about your pathetic request?"

"Please, have mercy… T-There are creatures that live in this area… Creatures you cannot see because you lacked a human heart."

“–Ngh!”

Those memories were hard to swallow, like reading an inked sloppy handwriting submerged in water.

“G-Good riddance…”

The man coiled in pain, gripping his scalp with his lithe fingers. You cannot view the expression on his face, nor were you able to verify that he had yelped. The distance between you two was too great to conceive a communication that did not rely on shouting.

“Nara (Y/n), what are you doing?!”

Although your proximity with the aranara doesn’t cause any communication barriers, that didn’t stop Ararycan from yelling.

For some reason, the stranger flinched after seeing you carry what appeared to be air around “normal people”’s vision. Perhaps he found your actions cringe-inducing… or perhaps it made his migraine worse. Then again, both possibilities are not mutually exclusive. However, you have a feeling he didn’t flinch because he saw Ararycan.

The blue aranara leaped off of your hands.

“Ararycan is worried… Ararycan thinks Wood Nara is going to destroy the giant iron mountain…”

You stared up at the man again, wanting to go on for a long rant but refrained after realizing how immature that is. While you do have a hunch that the stranger possessed a vision, you’d bet mora that he is no match for Arabalika’s accumulated Ararakalari. 

“Say, why do you keep calling him Wood Nara? Is it because of his ginormous hat?” You whispered to Ararycan.

“Huh? Did Nara (Y/n) not notice?” They tilted their head.

“Ararycan calls him “Wood Nara” because he’s made of white wood. Ararycan is not sure if he is a real Nara.”

Their answer entered from one ear and exited in the other. You’re used to hearing the Aranara lexicon that you never take any sentence at face value since you’ve learned your lesson back when Arasaka made you scout the market for a “Taste of Happiness.” Thank the Lord of Verdure that it was only Pantalone who laughed at you for describing sugar as “white, cubic, crumbles when crushed, becomes sand, and can be eaten.”

“Hah, well, he better not be made out of wood 'cause I might burn him.”

“Ararycan doesn’t think that’s easy to do. Wood Nara smells like the taste of anger,” once again, you ignored their riddled words.

You clutched the pyro vision dangling in your cloak’s right shoulder, located opposite where Alhaitham places his. Your skill set does not differ from that dendro user’s repertoire, and you calculated what vertice you should drop upon teleporting. Grabbing Ararycan, you rushed forward...

Without making it past the one-minute mark, you leaped effortlessly to where the stranger stood.

“Excuse me, young man, but do you have an Investigation Charter from the Akademiya?”

With an unused voice when it comes to dishing out commands– much less an implied threat– your approach wasn’t even a fraction of what makes authorities like the General Mahamatra intimidating. Yet, you still tried. You crossed your arms and hovered your hand near your claymore.

This stranger gazed up, boasting his soft face and beautiful lilac eyes topped with a complexion quite like a sheltered princess. He had the finest eyes you had ever seen. Yet, even with a heaven-sent face, his eyebrows were knitted. He continued kneeling on the cold metal of the giant mossed and corroded machine. 

One closer look should’ve made you hyper-aware that his joints were not bound by mortal flesh, but your heart was more entranced by his glassy pupils. 

“We meet again. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.” 

He muttered inaudibly, hence, you did not hear him. Since you also just came back from visiting Liyue and their post-festival fireworks, you’ve turned your hearing aid settings lower than usual. You bent your knees slightly, offering a hand.

“Nana korobi ya oki,” you said. The stranger looked like he hailed from Inazuma, so you thought you’d put your knowledge to good use. “It means–”

Unbeknownst to you, you uttered the same thing in a past long forgotten.

“I know: fall down seven times, get up eight.”

His gloved hand grasped your own, and you tried not to think about how soft yet firm it was as you pulled him up. You grunted slightly from the shifted weight while he didn’t breathe at all.

“No, I don’t have any clearance permit,” he said. “And I still don't have a heart, if that still matters to you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

‘Still’? What the hell is he talking about? Aaru village is miles away from here, but is it possible that the man you’re talking to is a mad scholar? That’s concerning. 

Pushing your glasses farther up the bridge of your nose, you tried to search his face in Sumeru's records– which might be more unlawful than whatever this man's doing, but who's policing you anyways?

…

Nothing.

There's not a single official record on this man.

Not even in the Fatui's database.

Almost like the man in front of you doesn't exist.

"What the hell are you wearing?" The man sneered. "Since when did you have awful eyesight too?"

“No Investigation Charter, no clearance, just what do you think you’re doing here?” You digressed. “May I at least have your name?”

The man tilted his hat up, “and why should I stupidly give my information away?”

Your eye twitched. He kinda reminds you of Arabalika. Maybe if you gave him a cane he’ll calm down a bit.

“I do have a use for your name, awkward stranger.”

“And that is?”

Writing a report to the Acting Grand Sage regarding suspicious individuals.

“Something to call you,” you shrugged with a child-like candor, renewing your request with bold obstinacy. “I’d rather not recount this tale to various parties as That One Time An Awful Little Man Tried To Pry Open A Giant Machine And Failed.”

He exhaled curtly.

… Was that a laugh?

“How childish. Even if you don't know my name, your "friends"– assuming you have some– will remember me by that stupid description.”

“I mean, it's a memorable first impression,” you met his gaze smugly. “But why are you hiding your name, hmm? Suspicious.”

“It’s called respecting one’s privacy. Something you don't understand.”

How rude of him to make assumptions about you, “are you some covert government official?”

“No.”

“Then what? Are you some inhuman being?”

“...” He didn’t say a word.

Something tells you that the answer is close to your hunch.

“[Wanderer].”

He muttered, once again, you did not hear it so he spoke louder.

“That's my name. Don't you dare make me repeat it.”

“[Wanderer]…”

You missed the way he tipped his hat, hiding an uncontrollable smile from your view.

[Wanderer]... That does sound like a fitting name. It reminded you of a character from a franchise or mythological tale you thoroughly enjoyed as a teenager. It might be rude to share that information, though. You’re not certain how this bratty person would react upon hearing that his name might as well be the name of your lotus from a botany class.

Normally, [Wanderer] would snap a “speak up– is there something wrong with my name?” upon listening to hushed whispers or a resounding silence after his many introductions. But you’re different for a reason. 

There was no way in hell he would take the traveler's suggestion over a name you had given him.

Ararycan tugged your pants.

“Hey, don’t just stare at him, Nara (Y/n)! Tell him to leave!!!” Araycan trashed around. “Nara (Y/n) must be a brave Nara if you like the taste of anger.”

[Wanderer] is the taste of anger? Is that what Ararycan was trying to say?

You blushed, fake-coughing behind your hand.

You wouldn’t say he reminds you of the taste of anger– especially with that winsome face. If anything, his appearance looks a lot like the bunraku dolls you accidentally bought years ago.

“Well, [Wanderer], it’s nice to finally put a name to a face,” you said. “But this is a dangerous area. What are you doing here…?”

“I just wanted to look for traces of the Doctor,” [Wanderer] crossed his arms. “Unfortunately, I can’t pry this stupid machine open.”

“The Doctor? Who’s that?”

“The Harbinger who sits at the second–”

“Aah, The Outcast. I see–” you shook your head. “Wait, no, I don’t get it. What does he have anything to do with this machine here? This is a Khaenriah’n creation.” 

“I know, I’m not dumb like you. I'm here because The Doctor had plans for these automatons, that’s why I’m here.”

“But even so, it’s not advisable to wander these parts alone. You ought to have asked for a travel companion. Who knows if you run into a hoard of vanaagnis in marana?”

“Hmph. Do you think I can’t handle a few whooperflowers in a withering zone? The audacity.”

“Arrogance is the capital stock of misfortune– wait, how’d you know Vanaagnis is a term for whooperflowers?” You blinked expressively. “And the meaning of marana too– so you ARE a mad scholar.”

“I’m NOT,” [Wanderer] glared. You noticed how he seemed unimpressed when you mentioned that proverb about arrogance and “capital stock”, and his expression soured more when you accused him of being a lunatic. 

“I just… I just learned from the best.”

[Wanderer]'s stare not wavering away from you.

Your silence did not go unnoticed by the other two.

“...Why do I have a feeling you’re trying to say that you’ve learned from me?” Those words had escaped from your mouth before you could stop them.

[Wanderer]’s eyes widened.

“Can… Can you remember?”

“Remember…?”

He frowned, eyes reflecting his disappointment.

“No, no, it’s probably just a fluke,” [Wanderer] frowned with a finger tracing his lips. “Maybe my expression just gave it away…”

“Nara (Y/n)!!! Tell Wood Nara to leeaaaaveee!!!”

You tried not to flinch at Ararycan’s whining. They don’t seem to understand that having poor hearing doesn’t mean you can’t register their commands.

[Wanderer] walked past you. 

“Fine, I’ll leave this device alone, but on one condition.”

“What makes you think you’re the one in control–”

“Go out with me.”

“...”

“...”

“... What?”

Your eyeglasses flickered red.

But that red light was gone in a blink, you weren't even sure if it existed.

You laughed nervously, “sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly–”

He refused to meet your eyes like a coward.

[Wanderer] replied brusquely, “look– you're partially deaf, but you’re NOT stupid. You heard what I said, so own it.”

"Hold on– where is all this coming from, [Wanderer]?" You pivoted your heel but were too late to yank his sleeve. 

He already hovered a few feet away from you.

"I'll come to visit this place more often," [Wanderer] smirked. "You’ll still be here at the upcoming Festival, right? Mark your calendar. That’s our date.”

“Hey, you can’t just!– Aaand he’s gone.”

Despite his abrupt parting, you couldn’t help but smile over such a cheeky encounter, completely forgetting how that man rummaged through the giant machine you’re standing on without a permit.

Something tells you that you’d see him more often.

And you did.

“[Wanderer]” never failed to visit you at 10 AM sharp every day, until there was only one day left till the next Sumeru Festival. At first, you thought his eccentric personality would make the following days unbearable, but he was rather civil– just sharp-tongued. 

He would show up whenever you wandered in the forest to disseminate knowledge about the local flora and Sumeru's history. Some of them you already knew, while others had you wondering if he knew the Lord of Verdure. While you were trying to interview him for a report, not as a trespasser but as an assistant, you once purposely lightened the atmosphere to get honest responses from him. When you jokingly asked who he was, his reply was unsatisfactory.

“Who I am is not carved in wood nor stone. ᏕᎧᎷᏋᎧᏁᏋ wise told me that it’s a flexible concept and it’s easier to understand through a story, but even then, you’d only see a fraction of who that person is,” [Wanderer] peered dotingly. “If you wish to know who I am, then work for it. I’m not giving you a damn summary.”

Tomorrow is your first "date" with the man and you barely knew him.

Your internalized frustration made him think you’re insatiably adorable. 

How the tables have turned. 

After all, [Wanderer] only responded with the same answer you had given him before.

In a forgotten history, ᎩᎧᏬ were the one that spouts spontaneous philosophical questions that led him into fits of unintelligible musings. [Wanderer] berated humanity for being sentimental creatures yet look at him now, proudly boasting the name ᎩᎧᏬ gave him wherever he went. It is by no means grander than a title like God of Everlasting Eternity or other such monikers, but when Godhood has stripped away from him, that name provided more solace than a seat in Celestia.

“The Puppet”, “Kunikuzushi”– such utterances are water under the bridge. Only [Wanderer] stays afloat, like a bubble on water. Maybe a bubble is only beautiful for a moment, yet that moment weighs more than a meaningless “eternity” and he knows this well…

[Wanderer] had been played by fate. Attaining freedom, independence, and a vision did not absolve what chokehold you had on his synthetic being. 

You're a colorful character, averaging about five meaningful papers per year– all the while considering yourself a "retired" genius. [Wanderer] would've been a kinder and forgiving person if you were his young and impressionable self's creator. He envied your patients, your strange collection of bunraku dolls, and the tenderness you reserve for them. 

He missed you, no matter how often you both fought. Your hums used to enchant him when you lull him asleep with aranara songs, but they now haunt him up at night. You were his puppet and he was your dictator until you had grown exhausted of foreign power enough that you abandoned your neutrality and revolted. 

But you did not revolt against him in this revision. Without a doubt, his revised “past” still mirrored the pain he caused, but through other means. He can’t say he had no regrets when he tampered with the Irminsul. Niwa’s death had less weight in this world, and for the wanderer, death without sanctification for a significant purpose is unnecessary homicide. And instead of helping Azar’s experiment, you became a “disobedient pet” who saw no need to collaborate with his superiority complex.

Yet, despite being such a disobedient pet– in his opinion, that’s a grave understatement–, he can’t help but cherish you.

The puppet missed the way his delusion marked your body. Fingerprint-like blotches collared your neck before, but when the slate was wiped clean, so too did his inflicted bruises. He missed the way you begged him to stop the pain. He missed the way you defended invisible creatures as “Queen Aranyani’s successor.” He missed the way you begged to keep the forest safe.

He missed the way you begged to be his.

But those marks are long gone– the symbol he carved on the nape of your neck had disappeared. You no longer had anything that resembled signs of his ownership.

Not only that, but seeing you wear eyeglasses– something you haven't before– fills him with anger.

The one saving grace from this situation was when this timeline confirmed that you wouldn’t help Azar if it wasn’t for [Wanderer]. You were interested in his personality and disposition as a puppet longing for a human heart, not just any of Dottore’s run-of-the-mill creations. That observation surely boosted his ego. 

Your opinions mattered to him most in that project. Admittedly, he craved everyone’s veneration, even when they lacked true understanding.

But you were the first mortal that made him appreciate his defects…

 

"Is it so bad to live this way?" You combed his hair with your fingers. "Must you try your hand with such heresy?"

"Know your place," Scaramouche gritted his teeth. "You're nothing more than my maintenance worker- you do not deserve an audience."

"Be that as it may, future faux-god, can't you entertain me for just a moment? If I wasn't worried about you, I wouldn't be helping you with this damn treacherous experiment.

You ignored how he snarled at such a nickname, "it pains me to watch you lust for more power when you already boast an acceptable form. What is it that makes you so desperate? Is it because you can't hide the ball joints that connect your fingers and limbs?"

You continued while adjusting the tightness of his skeletal wrists.

"Is it so bad to live on as a defective being? Does imperfection invalidate a life's purpose? I only ask out of curiosity. I have imperfect ears, so does that make my life devoid of meaning?"

Scaramouche frowned, "do not compare your ears to my heart or lack thereof."

He didn't understand why his voice cracked. Scaramouche did not feel his usual temperament sizzling over but something heavy resided in his chest.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, I know you're not sorry," Scaramouche cupped your cheek, sporting an uncharacteristically loving smile.

"And your unapologetic behavior is what makes you my first sage."

His first sage…

[Wanderer] laughed to himself.

His first sage would know that if he gained a heart, he would've seen the aranara you were talking to earlier.

But this is fine. He can start over again. 

This time, he’ll make you love him normally.

Heaven, please help the white wood that fell in love for it will never be human…

…

Out of the blue, Scaramouche spun and hurled three consecutive wind blades toward the woods with precision.

Be that as it may, the walking salt is surely more pathetic.

The “trees” grunted, but [Wanderer] did not miss the smell of salt-infused perfumes.

What a shame. 

The next Sumeru Festival, your “date”, is tomorrow, yet there will always be those who lurk in the shadows to see the mighty fall. 

"Pantalone…" 

The ex-sixth harbinger snarled with unfathomable familiarity. Which was the complete opposite of the ninth harbinger, who coldly greeted him like a new enemy. 

"Good afternoon, [Wanderer]."

Pantalone pulled out a gun from his hidden holster.

"No hard feelings, sir," the businessman smiled thinly. "I am but a simple man eliminating a love rival. You see, it’s not nice threatening to steal someone’s possession."

Scaramouche cackled.

How annoying. He never liked this friend of yours– he much preferred the one that planned a coup. Pantalone was not a coworker Scaramouche liked, much less a rival. This ambitious man was always a parasite, pretending to be worried while threatening to withhold project funding behind your back. Scaramouche will never forget how he boasted insolently that he had known you longer as if eternity wouldn't be enough to make up for it.

"You never change, mortal," he laughed even harder. "I knew something was off about (Y/n)'s glasses!"

"Hmm? Is that so?" Pantalone pushed them up closer– reminding Scaramouche that he’s no terrible shot. "How strange. In any case, I quite frankly don't care what you know or do not know."

He pulled the trigger as Scaramouche stomped his feet.

Only a few knew what occurred in Vanarana that day, but there was one thing the forest remembered.

Before either of them parted, a loud bang echoed that even deaf trees can't miss.

You woke up from Araja’s house (which was the only comfortable place to sleep in Vanarana) after passing out from tumultuous loads of paperwork sent directly by the Baharak. She joked that at that point, maybe she had become a bad omen for you– and you confirmed her suspicions. The tasks the Acting Grand Sage laid out for you were taxing, if not, deleterious for your mental well-being, and worst of all–

He sent a notice that this would be your last week patrolling Vanarana.

When you spread the announcement, the aranaras were saddened by the news. Even Arabalika was unimpressed and asked if you can prolong your services. Alas, it can’t be refuted.

Noticing how tired you appeared, the village chief immediately commanded you to sleep while you pretended not to hear whispers of a surprise farewell party. Considering how the place looked positively empty this morning, you’d wager that they’re busy working on it.

But you do smell that someone’s cooking right now…

The enticing scent emanated from a large pot. As you sauntered closer, you noticed how Arasaka was tending to the food. The aranara gave you a friendly wave that you didn’t reciprocate. It’s rather chilly in Vanarana in the mornings– and the sleeves of your jacket were comfy. 

“Good morning, Nara (Y/n)!”

“Good morning, ‘Saka. That smells delicious,” you smiled bittersweetly.

“Hehe, really? Glad to hear it! One of Nara (Y/n)’s friends helped gather the ingredients. That Nara was good at hunting down prey!”

One of your friends…? You haven't introduced a lot of people to the aranaras. That can only mean it's either Baharak, Pantalone, or [Wanderer], and you can safely remove the first one since they're positively busy with guild matters. 

... Huh. But those two can't see aranaras. Does that mean they stole Pantalone or [Wanderer]'s game?

"Pfft..." You chortled. Yeah, imagining either of them getting confused as to why their hunted boar had gone missing feels like a sight to see.

You took the ladle from Arasaka’s hand and sipped the warm liquid.

…

“Oh, hey, this tastes pretty good!”

“Hehe, Arasaka is glad to hear you liked it! Nara taste buds are hard to please.”

You took another sip as Arasaka watched. The warm soup went down smoothly, but the aftertaste had a serpent-like bite to it. It tastes akin to red sorghums Pantalone would down whenever social drinking was inevitable. Your only critique was that it would’ve been a refreshing experience if there wasn’t a rocky object stuck between your teeth. You awkwardly picked it out.

… And saw a small hint of (wood/salt) between your fingers.

You stared at Arasaka.

Strange…

Something feels… off. 

This doesn't taste like happiness, it tastes like…

You shivered and yet the aranaras around you still had that same painted smile. 

 "Does Nara (Y/n) like the taste now? The taste of friendship?”

… Friendship?

No. That can’t be it.

The spoon splashed back into the bowl. You didn’t say a word, only stared at the boiling pot. You knelt, grabbing both handles to gaze upon the bubbling red liquid. With trembling hands, you picked the spoon back up and swirled the contents. Nothing was of note–

Until you scooped something from the very bottom and found thick strands of dark hair.

A very familiar strand of dark hair.

You adjusted your glasses in an attempt to find out where this human hair came from–

“Nara (Y/n) likes the scent of (wood/salt) Nara so my sisters added him in!” Arasaka innocently cheered.

Your heart dropped.

You turned pale– gagging.

No. It can't be.

Did you just eat…

“So, Nara (Y/n)– does our cooking taste bland now?”

… “him”?

“Oh, Nara (Y/n)’s friend is approaching! Don’t forget to thank him for the food!”

[genacity]

⌗ nsfw scaramouche wankin 2 u ft kinda long drabble

hey y’all LMAO

ignore how i been inactive, trying to enjoy the christmas break w family before i go back for second semester so sorry to the sillies who been waiting on me . . .

anyways i been thinking abt a scara / wanderer who’s been berating and swatting at you for months now — ever since you started traveling together he’s always been on your ass about everything you do!

“your defense skills are sloppy!” “you’re hopeless with your weapon!” he’d scold, whacking you upside the head with the back of his hand.

smothering you in pure dissatisfaction every single day — just to turn the corner to whimper your name to himself when you retire yourself to sleep.

snug in your teapot one night, you had finally gotten fed up with the wanderer’s pessimism. before you had the chance to blow at him, you excused yourself for the night and marched hastily up the steps of your home; accompanied by a harsh-sounding shut of a door and the subtle clatter of a lock. the wanderer stood arms crossed and brows furrowed as he huffed and retreated to his own room — not because he was angry. hell, he was far from it.

he sat slumped in his bed, hat tossed onto the floor. the only source of light being the moon flickering in from his window. the wanderer exhaled as all of his thoughts of you pooled in his brain — from mellow and sweet to frustrated and angry; to warm and sultry, making his ears go red as he huffed.

why was he like this? he didn’t know. his nimble fingers wandered — as he did — mindlessly down his body, ‘til he toyed with the band of his shorts. short puffs of air as the wanderer found himself indulging in those sultry fantasies he’d been burying himself in.

“fuck,” he gasped. left hand working its way beyond his pants as he worked his cock sheepishly beneath the stubborn fabric. soft whimpers formed raspy from his lips as the wanderer teased the head of his dick with his thumb, working his slick along as lubricant. he whined to himself, chest heaving with soft pleas and apologies of his awful behavior; how he wished you would snap one day and bend him over simply to break him in half.

lips parted in a rush of feelings and saliva dribbling from his chin, he pleaded to open air — “‘m sorry for being so mean to you,” “jus’ want your attention, i swear!” “i wanna cum for you, all for you, i do — ”

and so he does. but you don’t know.

[kararisa]

darling, starling

— 5. unwritten rules — ✦ (wc: 0.4k)

You will never understand how people wake up before 10 a.m. and enjoy it. Scaramouche was your complete opposite in that regard, preferring to start his days egregiously early. But if you could help it, you'd stay in bed and sleep until the early afternoon hours, cuddled up in the warmth of your blankets.

But here you are, not comfortable in bed but instead seated on your sofa and half-heartedly watching some soap opera on the TV while you wait for the man of the hour to discuss a deal that could change both of your careers, for better or for worse.

The huge glass windows let in sunlight from the waking world, bathing the room in natural light. Scaramouche gives you a nod of acknowledgment as he sits down, a cup of way-too-bitter tea in hand. He takes off his reading glasses and leans back to look at you properly.

“You look like shit,” he greets.

You rub your eyes before glaring at him, “I wanted to catch you before you ran off to the nearby cafe to write your book. We need to actually talk about what we’re getting into in this deal.”

You take a breath before starting, “It’s not going to be easy dating me. Fake or not.”

Scaramouche’s words are dripping in sarcasm. “I know your food preferences if that’s what you're worried about.”

“That...” you groan. “That isn’t even what I mean and you know it; I’m being serious. You know how relentless the media can be when it comes to me. Rumors of us dating have been around since we were first spotted going out and about with our friends. And they’ve only gotten worse since you moved in with me.”

“I can take whatever the tabloids throw at me,” he shrugs. “Besides, my aunt works for The Akasha, remember? She has a lot of pull, not just in Sumeru.”

Is he even taking this seriously? His nonchalant air makes you think he doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation you’re getting yourselves into. He consistently interacts with his fans but maintains a respectful distance from them — you know he's capable of handling a life of fame.

But ever since you stepped onto the stage, the tabloids have followed you like a phantom — lurking in every corner and following your every move. Their eyes aren’t only set on you, though, but on every person associated with you. Scaramouche’s privacy has been invaded multiple times throughout your friendship with him, and he’s expressed his distaste for a life that's fully in the public eye in the past.

Why is he so determined to see this through?

“I doubt one editor-in-chief will be enough to influence the press,” you say.

“But she does control what stories get published,” he points out. “And if she approves articles about us being spotted together in public, it’ll be enough to get people talking.”

He has a point. Goddamn it, maybe he actually thought this through and this wasn’t just some half-assed plan he came up with at 2 a.m.

The two of you would have to set some rules, but that could come at a later date.

“Do we have a deal?” Scaramouche sticks out his hand.

“Yeah.” you take his hand and shake it. “We got a deal.”

✧— previous — masterlist — next —✧

summary:

rule number one: don't fall in love.

rule number two: no one can know about the deal.

rule number three: keep physical affection limited to the public eye. no kissing under any circumstances.

rule number four: break up after you release your album.

easy enough to remember. oh, and remember to not break the rules okay?

author's notes:

sorry for being inactive lmao i got depressed for a hot minute

nah cause why is scarayn banter so much fun to write

taglist — currently OPEN:

@aestherin @unsterblich-prinz @yourstrulykore @krnzysh @syriiina @yumiaur @featuredtofu @kodzusmiles @meigalaxy @fangygf @motherscrustytoenailclippings @samyayaya @hiimera @beriiov @e0nssadrift @dazaisboner @nillajhayne @chluuvr @nillajhayne @deffenferofjustice @romyoia @xiaomainlmao @hotgirlshit5 @potabletable @letthewindlead @esuz @toriiee @kclremin @angelkazusstuff @phoenix-eclipses @sakiimeo @mayuumine @ako-ang-mahal-ko @only-cherry-blossom @keiiqq @what-just-happened-huh @n3r0-1417 @haunts-gh0st @layla240 @mamafly @duckyyyx @certified-shrimp @kgogoma @xtobefreex @aeongiies @mechanicalbeat1 @meidnightrain @nordicbananas @feiherp @erzarq

[xflippinfrogx]

No title because I’m lazy

A/N~ Heyy sorry I’ve been so inactive the last while I’ve had severe writers block but I’ll try my best to get a few things done in the next week or so.. well hopefully lmao!! Yes it is another marauders post but it’s been in my drafts for over a year and plus I rarely see any new ones so why not put some out there myself?? Anyways enjoy the fic and I’ll hopefully write again soon💕

🛑WARNING: THIS IS A TICKLE FIC IF YOU DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ🛑

Lee(s): Mainly James but also Sirius, Remus and Peter

Ler(s): James, Sirius kinda Remus and Peter

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

James Potter was what people would call a very tactile person. He showed his love and affection through touch.

He was never seen without an arm around Peter or his hands tangled in Remus’ hair. Sirius never thought about his actions until today when he was visited by a familiar friend of his..

The tickle monster.

“Jahaahahamehes stAHAP IHIHIT” He writhed beneath his attacker. James let up noticing the alarming colour of red that had engulfed Sirius’ face.

“Maybe next time don’t provoke me then okay?” He smirked.

Sirius was left alone sat on his bed when he began to think. James was always tickling him and the others, it was just another way he showed affection. But then it suddenly hit him that it was always James doing the tickling..

He couldn’t remember the last time James had been properly reduced to a pile of giggles and tears. He could name hundreds of times James was doing the “reducing”.

He decided to watch carefully for the next while to see if he could figure out if maybe James was actually doing this in hope of receiving the same affection back..

•~•~•~•~•

That evening, Peter spilled ink over an essay James had spent ages working on and they all knew exactly what was about to happen to poor Pete. He apologised hundreds of times but James had already set his target.

Immediately the room was filled with please and squeals as James got his well deserved revenge. It only lasted a minute or two but Peter was a mess by the end. He helped James clean up the mess and re write his essay and everything went back to how it was.

Sirius however hadn’t missed the slightest blush grazing his best friends face and a look of what he thought was disappointment?

Was James hoping it would escalate further into him being the victim? Definitely. In all honesty Sirius could just put James out of his misery and tickle him then and there but he was enjoying watching his friend become embarrassed and flustered by the situation.

Anyways, he needed to be 100% sure that James was really looking to be tickled before he struck. You know, incase he didn’t actually like it and Sirius was misreading the whole thing..

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The next morning as always, James was the first to wake. The only difference is that Sirius woke up early too, he was too giddy about his experiment to sleep any longer.

Peter got up as well hearing the other two pottering about the dorm. Only Remus remained in his bed. As Sirius had predicted, James wasn’t having it.

When James is up everyone has to be up.

He had already called Remus to wake up multiple times. The others knew Remus hated mornings but James wouldn’t take no for an answer, even if it was a Saturday. James quietly tip toed towards the unsuspecting boy and crawled carefully onto his bed. With one leg either side of his friends torso he began to lightly walk his fingers up and down his sides.

Remus was laying on his stomach, hands above his head, leaving his entire back and sides completely vulnerable. He shuddered feeling the light pressure from James’ hands.

Too tired to know what was happening, Remus just lay there for a moment. Half asleep, he began to squirm and James’ actions had drawn a few sleepy giggles from the boy.

“Moony don’t make me do this, wake up mate!!” James insisted. All he got in return from Remus was a grunt.

“You leave me no choice..” He rapidly spidered his hands all over his ribs and sides. Remus jerked and burst into fits of giggles.

Once again it didn’t last long, just enough time for Remus to get in a few pokes himself, nothing major. James however fell off the bed in suprise!!

“James, don’t ever do that again or I swear to Merlin I’ll murder you!!,”Remus said helping James up off the floor.

This time, James’ face had very obviously reddened but Remus had the decency not to mention it.

Sirius did not.

“Mate you are as red as Lily’s hair, you alright?” He remarked with a grin

“Just fine thanks Pads.”

James rushed off and the others didn’t see much of him that day. Sirius suspected he must have been rather embarrassed and needed some alone time.

•~•~•~•~•

That evening James returned to the dorm back to his usual bubbly self.

Sirius decided he had waited long enough and now was his time to strike.

James sat by Peter and Remus, they were currently in the middle of a very intense game of exploding snap. Sirius moved quietly from his bed to the floor behind James.

It was James’ turn and Sirius decided it was now or never. James went to place his card when he felt two hands kneading his sides. He elicited a loud shriek and his card fell from his hands causing a minor explosion.

“Haha James you lose!!” Peter laughed dusting off the ash from his face.

“C’mon Pete let’s get cleaned up, we’ll be back for round two in a bit James!” Remus explained. The real reason he was dragging Peter out of there was because he totally knew what was going on and he wanted to, well, help Sirius on his investigation.

“Sorry James, that was a pretty illegal move there. I know you hate when I do that, I won’t anymore, promise.” Sirius was really trying to rile him up now.

“I uhm, I don’t mind it.” James mumbled so quietly that if sirius had been any further from him he wouldn’t have noticed he’d even spoke.

“You what?” He asked with an underlying tone of mischief. Finally, James turned to face him and blurted out “I saidthatIdontmindit-”

“Don’t mind what prongs?” Sirius enquired with a smirk on his face. “When you.. you know.” He gestured his hand at Sirius trying to explain what he meant. Sirius acted as though he had no idea what James was on about. “God Sirius I don’t mind when you tickle me ok!? You’re awful at taking hints,” he huffed while simultaneously covering his red hot face.

“No need for the attitude Potter,” he rolled his eyes in false annoyance and swiftly brought his hands down to his friend’s sides again preparing for attack. “You’re in no position to be rude right now.”

James burst into laughter as he was tickled to pieces on the dormitory floor. Even if you hadn’t done all the research Sirius had on him it was clear that James was really enjoying himself. He had one of those smiles plastered across his face where it was so wide he felt that if it got any wider that his cheeks would split. Sirius mirrored this because seeing his best friend so happy was everything he could want.

James didn’t even try to flee at this point because a mutual understanding was formed between them that this wasn’t embarrassing and he could just enjoy himself.

He spent the majority of that evening giggling away as Sirius poked, squeezed and scribbled over every spot he could find and it sent James into hysterics. Once Sirius reached his ribs though, he lost it.

“OHOKAHAHAY OKAHAY THAHATS ENOUGH!! PLEHEHEASE”

“Hmmm I don’t know Jamesie are you sure you’ve received all the attention you so clearly wanted?”

“YEHES”

“You 100% certain?” He was really teasing now.

“SIRIUHUS IHIM GONNA KILL YOHOUU”

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

The curly headed boy flopped over as he regained his breath, hands attempting to rub away the phantom tickles he felt lingering.

“James you know if you really wanted me to do that you could’ve just asked?” Sirius was actually being sincere this time around, he wanted James to know he wasn’t judging at all.

“It was just embarrassing I guess, not really the normal thing to like eh?” He was still terribly red but he kept his wide smile.

“Doesn’t mean it’s embarrassing, sure I’m going to tease the hell out of you about this for the rest of your life but really, it’s not something to hide,” he grinned that Sirius black grin as his friend shoved at his shoulder.

“Thanks mate, I appreciate” sarcasm dripped from his voice but he smiled getting up from the floor.

They spent the rest of the evening playing exploding snap and yes Sirius did use that illegal move many more times but they all knew James didn’t mind. Let’s just say the next time he set off the cards he seemed to find his punishment very amusing and the gryfindor boys dorm was filled with laughter once again.

[onebizarrekai]

SORRY MY BRAINROT IS INTENSE, to try to resolve this im going to write a little something! it's obvious dream (i might just use utmv names for the sake of my terrible memory) is the founder and top dog at justice reigns, i know ink is his mercenary and is the only one to take direct orders from him, but where does that place finch? is he above ink at 2nd or under ink at 3rd? if you have the time, could you maybe explain briefly what they think of eachother? moreso ink & finch and dream & ink for the sake of my plot, they'll be interacting and i want it to be as accurate as possible

just let me know if the asks are a problem and i'll stop sending them! i know it's an inactive work but the autism drives me LMAO

ok so, first off, ink isn't the only one to take direct orders from dream, if I said that in the past it may have been a mistake. (who the heck is getting orders from dream if only ink is taking orders from him hahaha) ink, for the most part, only takes direct orders from dream, not is the only one who does. for his status, ink is not part of the hierarchy in JR; he doesn't have the authority to give anyone orders. if dream tells ink to take orders from the justice division, he has to take orders from the justice division, but the justice division doesn't have power over ink by default. if JR has a hard or specific mission, they might send ink. (I feel like it would make sense for there to be more JR mercenaries than just ink. but it's a little late to contemplate changes to the lore)

finch is an officer of the justice division, but I don't know what exactly his status is supposed to be. I've said he's a captain before, but I feel like it only makes sense if he's 31, aka his fatal flaws age. so, take with that what you will. he could be young at 24 and be far ahead for his age but not in a position of full authority (think: a senior who gets put in charge of a smaller group, not the guy who goes to meetings) or he could be 31 and be a captain. that aside, I imagine that finch and ink don't really talk on a casual basis. their impressions of each other are probably limited to "that guy again," while passing each other in the hallway and likely some awkward small talk. they probably have worked together a few times and finch probably thinks that ink is too irresponsible and doesn't fully understand why ink works such an important job. (because he gets it done, somehow) they're kind of polar opposites. which does leave some room for an interesting dynamic if you think it's interesting.

as for whatever ink and dream have going on, they're kind of friends even though they're technically not supposed to be. in ds there is a tangible barrier of authority and power that would be difficult to overcome. not impossible, but difficult. they do still kind of have that "you're just my boss" relationship in fatal flaws which creates a little distance, but I think they could become friends more easily there because arthur isn't immortal and hasn't used any godlike power to gain a following.

[pikahlua]

OK, I'm someone who's been gunning for the "Katsuki's villain foil is All For One" probably longer than anyone, been theorising this for over a year, and I have dozens of drafts abt it (I just turned on anon, my MHA account isn't my main anyway so...) and I never posted because it was getting too long. I think I had these since Bakugo died? If I had posted them with me saying "Bakugo will fight AFO at the end of this!", y'all would've called me crazy. Y'all could've called me a madlad, but noooo, it happened LOL

I think a few people have already noticed parallels, as there are some parallels in Yoichi and AFO's interactions Bakudeku in Ch 193. I noticed them too, and there were a few posts going around abt it, never realising the implications (since it would mean that AFO is the villain foil as he's the only one who had such similarities to Bakugo).

I mean chapter kept putting Yoichi and Midoriya together, obviously connecting the two. But where does that put AFO?

Bakudeku can be considered "siblings" since they knew each other for as long as they can remember. One was gifted and strong, while the other was quirkless. The gifted one telling the other that since they're quirkless, they can't achieve their dreams (Compare Ch 1 Bakugo to AFO's statement about Yoichi).

Yes, people are saying that AFO is terrible and Bakugo shouldn't be compared. But I think that's exactly what makes them foils. Horikoshi described Bakugo as the "light that would never surrenders to the dark", and AFO is the complete opposite, someone I would describe as "the darkness that never comes to the light".

They're the ultimate representation of "good vs evil", and that's why Horikoshi had pitted them against each other.

And AFO being Bakugo's foil makes sense as it goes in line with something Best Jeanist has said in the past. "What makes the difference between Heroes and Villains?" The villain foil theme actually started with Bakugo.

What makes AFO and Bakugo mirror each other? Look at how AFO looks down on the weak, calling them all "extras", the way he called Bakugo a "pebble in his path" the same way Bakugo did.

Rather than motivations and origins, it's through their behaviour especially towards others. AFO is more extreme, but he calls and views others that are "weaker" as "extras", he looked down on the person "closest" to him for his weakness. He once believed that "might makes right" and acts upon it. He view himself as "God". (Remember how Bakugo's hero name has "God" in it??? Hehe..)

And I feel that there would be more parallels between them once we get to see more of how AFO views Kudou, because he seems to be angered or even "threatened" by him in a similar sense to how Bakugo was to Midoriya. He is the extreme representation of Bakugo's past.

Katsuki means "victory over the self". Of course, the best way to finish your character arc is to beat up a character that represents your past LMAO

All through his arc, he had to see his weakness, and even through foils like Endeavor to face his mistakes. All For One is the final step.

Of course, for Bakugo to fight unwaveringly, he had to get his "rising" moment and also apologize to Midoriya. So that he can truly become the light that opposes the dark. To truly distinguish himself from the villain, like what Best Jeanist told him.

(Sorry if I got anything wrong, I was inactive around MHA for a while, so I could be misremembering, but hell yeahhh, this is what I've been waiting for lets gooooo!!!!)

I think you've got a lot of good stuff here, and yet... My apologies, anon, normally I wouldn't lead with this point I'm about to address, but I must address it first or else no one will read past this point and instead run to dogpile me in my askbox.

While I understand where you're coming from, it's just not tenable to argue the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki is akin to that of siblings.

Some people would make this argument from what may seem like a shipping standpoint, but I'm going to make it from a cultural one. At no point in the manga are Izuku and Katsuki ever referred to as nor behave as nor speak like they're family. There are important hierarchical and social expectations present in Japan for siblings that are different from what's expected of friends (note that even twins are still distinguished as the older and younger brother). Izuku and Katsuki treat each other as peers, social equals, NOT as a big brother-little brother dynamic. Their dynamic is best described as that of childhood friends. Childhood friends is an important trope in Japan, and one can't just gloss over it and pretend like siblings and childhood friends are equivalent or that they work the same as with western story dynamics. They're not and they don't.

And the social distance between Izuku and Katsuki is VITAL to the way their characters and relationship work. Izuku has to be unrelated to Katsuki--a "pebble in his path," some random extra--for Izuku's heart to shake Katsuki so badly, for the "meddling where you don't need to" theme to apply to Izuku rescuing Katsuki, for Izuku reaching out to be so offensive to Katsuki. So for reference, you can accurately describe this relationship parallel with Yoichi and AFO as "they knew each other since childhood," "they don't remember ever not knowing each other," "they have always been a part of each other's lives," etc. But I must stress the trope you're invoking here is childhood friends. It's okay, you don't NEED BakuDeku to be "like siblings" to make these parallels work. They grew up together, and that's sufficient.

Sorry to nitpick on that.

Anyways, I do think that there is something intentional on Horikoshi's part about Katsuki "Self-Victory" Bakugou facing off against All For One as if AFO is implied to be one of Katsuki's "selves" for him to defeat, particularly his old self he's already basically defeated in every sense except somehow fighting it out physically.

Can I tell you a secret though?

I'm not convinced MHA ends after Katsuki vs AFO and Izuku vs Tomura.

No, I don't mean like a falling action epilogue. I just mean...

Heroes Rising didn't end when Izuku and Katsuki sucker-punched Nine. It didn't end when Nine had been bested in fair combat. It ended after Nine employed a desperate gambit to win no matter the cost and became a giant purple butterfly rage monster.

What I'm saying is...I kinda think AFO will successfully transplant his quirk into Tomura or something.

[vorezone-act8]

Inside your mouth I cannot see

safe vore fic. sorry if you realize what these characters are from lmao (owen is an oc stand in for the player but) warnings: emeto, body dysphoria/dysmorphia, mentions of actual cannib.alism/"h.ard vore" but it doesnt actually happen, suicidal ideation somewhat, suggestive implications unrelated to the vore

Owen couldn't keep this up for much longer. 

He'd been running from "Uthman" for twenty minutes at this rate. He couldn't claim to be in good shape, either, even before this happened; he'd barely slept since he got here, and he'd already been walking for ages. This place was awful labyrinthine for a place of work.

He was wont to give out eventually.

And so he did, a momentary falter of his footing resulting in him being tackled to the ground, vision spotting from the impact his head made with the floor.

"Owen," the thing mumbles. No—even like this, Uthman wasn't a thing. He was a person; a person who would feel terrible about this when he woke up. "Need them. Your organs." His breathing is ragged.

Fighting to keep consciousness, Owen writhes in his grasp, but it's no use. Instead, he tries to reason, "You don't want this; you’re going to feel horrible, later. Uthman, wake up, please—"

Uthman's hands, pinning the other man to the ground by his wrists, tremble. His eyes focus again for a moment, practically drawing his own blood by how hard he's biting his lip. "Trying." Tears prick at his eyes, despite the grin his face has contorted into. It's pained. “I’m sorry.”

He's not sure why he wants to tell him that it's okay, to comfort him, as he finally slips into darkness.

Uthman is fighting himself. He's just lucid enough to resist the hunger for a few more moments, but it's impossible. It hurts—and the only thing that will make it stop is if he sates it, or he’s knocked out. But Owen wasn’t able to do the latter. He has to hold off, just for a few more moments. He won’t forgive himself if—

He half-doubles over in pain on the other’s unconscious form, yelping like the animal he is. His stomach feels as though it’s trying to digest itself.

The opposing instincts of the desire to protect him from further harm and to consume him, thus stopping the pain, converge into overwhelming mixed signals that freeze him in place. In inaction. A momentary blessing.

But unfortunately, it results in a bizarre compromise.

The Devil's mouth experimentally opens, and he shoves Owen's head inside. It fits alarmingly well. The clay making up the flesh makes it disgustingly flexible, too. Impossible. It shouldn't be able to fit a man inside. But it can.

Even screaming inside, the hunger is now beginning to cloud his horror. He can taste Owen’s blood, which he can’t stop himself from licking off his chin. The animal in him wants to finish the job. Wants to be full. It's been starving for so long. 

The human is terrified.

But this is the only conclusion The Devil can come to that will satisfy both instincts. Swallowed whole, instead of torn to shreds. No longer hungry, but Owen might survive if Uthman snaps out of this state fast enough.

All it takes is a swallow to bring his shoulders into his throat, then another for his torso, then his legs—

A purr rises in his middle as his poor friend's form settles into it, arms wrapping around him in a lovesick fondness. He curls up on the floor around his stomach, like an animal at rest.

Lucid again for a moment, Uthman is wracked by a sob as his bleary eyes grow heavy against his will. It's too late.

————————————————

Uthman wakes up nauseous, and aching all over—from falling asleep on the floor, apparently. He groans as he sits up, aching back popping. Eyes squinting from residual exhaustion, he scans the room. He doesn't know how he got here, or why.

Confusion quickly turns into alarm.

The last thing he remembers is being with Owen. Where is he? Did they split up? What would cause a lapse in memory like—

He notices a splatter of human blood right beside him.

Panic rises in his core.

"Mr. Webb?" He calls out urgently, fearing the worst. "Owen??" He attempts to stand up—but his stomach lurches unnaturally at the sudden movement, as if bloated.

His blood runs cold. The lingering taste of metal in his mouth—

He retches, but nothing comes up. He buries his face in his hands—both of which he doesn’t want to be his own, especially right now. But they are. This monster is you. You killed and ate that poor man. Didn’t you?

Hot wet tears deface his disgusting visage even further, as they should. He curls in on himself, no, around what was left of the friend he didn’t deserve. “I’m so sorry,” his monotone cracks. “I-I knew I should have stayed away—I’m so selfish. I’m sorry, Owen.” 

He really is selfish. Owen will never get to see his children again, nor will he get to go home. All for what? Because he was just so desperate for human connection that he couldn’t just help from the sidelines, when this man’s family was on the line—when he knows how dangerous he is? Boo fucking hoo.

He shudders violently as he gags. It’s painful.

That man is dead, and

“...Uthman?”

His ringing ears almost don’t catch the sound. Not until it’s repeated, louder: “Uthman! Hello?” It’s Owen’s voice, oddly muffled. Eyes blurry but wide, he once overs the room in disbelief. “Owen?” His voice trembles. He doesn’t see anything. “Where are you?”

“I don’... know,” the man tiredly answers, then poses a question of his own: “It’s too dark to tell. Were you… crying?” 

A shuddering breath is taken in. He scans the room again. “I was worried I… killed you. I’m glad I didn’t. Are you hurt? Do you recall anything? You sound tired, so I’m assuming you were unconscious.” 

There’s a beat of silence.

“...I remember you… knocking me over. Hit my head, must have conked out. I don’t hurt anywhere else, though. Guess you… left me alone?” He seems to be just as confused. 

It’s starting to concern him how clearly he can hear Owen’s voice, despite neither of them knowing where he is.

“I should check you for a concussion,” Uthman thinks aloud. “Can you move?”

Immediately afterwards, a wave of nausea hits him as he feels—something move, inside of what, unmistakably, must be his stomach. Realization hits him like a truck, but as a literal doctor, he finds it hard to accept that this is possible for him to do. They should both be dead. 

Well… if he were human, that is. Right.

“...I’m cramped. Can’t really tell.” Owen’s voice is alarmingly lacking any fear about the situation he’s in. Even without knowing what Uthman has realized, being trapped in a cramped space you can’t see is terrifying. Maybe he does have a concussion. “Wet, also.”

“Owen,” Uthman starts, trying to keep his voice level. He nearly tries to make eye contact with his stomach, but averts his eyes out of shame. “I think I know where you are.” He sucks in a breath. “...For some reason, in that state, I just…” The words are hard to get out of his mouth, because he can hardly believe them. 

“Swallowed you whole. Instead of something more immediately lethal.”

There isn’t a response for a moment. 

Then, wordless, panicked thrashing against his internals. There it is. The fight or flight response kicking in. He grits his teeth in pain, instinctively clutching at his middle, as if to make it stop. He releases his grip near immediately, not wanting to hurt Owen any further. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before—and it’s terribly nauseating. 

Maybe that’s a good thing, vomiting would be welcome to this situation. But—

“...Y-you shouldn’t care, but just in case you do, that does hurt,” he clarifies.

It stops quickly. “Sorry,” Owen apologizes. His voice grows quieter. “...I was scared.”

“No, it’s—it’s completely understandable.” Uthman sighs heavily as his muscles relax. “I mean, anyone would be afraid if they were… literally eaten by a monster.” His eyes unfocus, staring into nothing. He really is one, isn’t he?

“...Don’t… call yourself that,” Owen manages, shifting himself around in an attempt to get more comfortable. Uthman cringes at this horrendously invasive feeling. This is, quite possibly, the worst way to have to confront his non-human biology. He almost tuned out what Owen said.

“It’s true, though. A human, and most other animals, physically could not do this.” He grips his wrist as it trembles. “But that’s not important—I need to get you out of there. Our digestive systems aren’t designed to handle this much, so you should be fine for a while, but I’m not going to wait around for you to get hurt, and I’m sure you don’t want to, either.”

There’s a beat, as if Owen were thinking on what to say, for whatever reason. Uthman finds the answer pretty cut and dry, so this strikes him as odd. His passenger settles with a, “...Fair.”

Uthman pinches the bridge of his nose, sucking in another breath through his teeth. “Yes.” He moves to stand up—but hesitates. “...Uh. I’m going to get up. Alright?” There’s a noise of acknowledgement from inside, so he takes that as his go-ahead. Legs trembling slightly, he uses a nearby wall to stand to his feet…. hooves, rather. Right. He hates this.

It shouldn’t be as easy to walk as it is. He hates that Owen is like nothing more than a little added weight to his body. That’s an entire person. You can hardly even notice that he’s there.

…It’s hard for him to calm his spiraling thoughts with this situation. 

Thankfully, Owen breaks the silence: “What are you, uh… going to do? Try to throw up, right?” …Maybe not so thankfully. This is another thought rabbithole to go down. At least it’s a more helpful one to go on.

“Well…” Uthman has to think about the logistics of this. He was able to get Owen down, so he should be able to come back up. But the space is so tight he doesn’t trust he won’t suffocate within, or that he won’t choke on him, this time. Actually, is there even enough oxygen in his stomach for Owen to begin with? Is it not a concussion, but a lack of air?

His head is spinning with concerning questions and possibilities.

“...I think I’m just going to cut you out.”

“HUH?” Owen barks in alarm. “Just throw up! You’re a doctor, you know sometimes you just gotta throw up—”

“I’m not scared to throw up!” He blurts, feeling the skin beneath the fur on his face flush. “I’m worried you’re going to suffocate. It’ll make me feel better if I just… surgically remove you.”

“Have you ever even performed surgery on yourself? What if you mess up? You could cut me.” Owen strategically doesn’t mention that he’s actually more concerned about Uthman hurting himself, because he knows that he doesn’t care about his own wellbeing right now.

It works. Uthman groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “...Okay, good point. Maybe I should just… try. But I’m not sure… where would be an appropriate location. The floors here are all hard.” God, this is embarrassing. “I guess I’ll head back to my office. There’s pillows and stuff…” He sighs. 

Just as he was about to start moving again, he feels some sort of pressure from within. He can’t help but look down, as much as he really doesn’t want to, and thus confront this reality in its entirety. It’s repetitive, it recedes and presses in again a few times.

“It’s really not that bad. Take your time to get there.”

…He realizes it must be Owen’s hand, patting him.

His face grows hot. He doesn’t like that it felt nice, and especially not that his stomach responds with a growl. No, no, no, you don’t like this. “D-don’t tell me that,” he chides, trying to keep himself composed. “It’s not okay, and I don’t want to think that it’s okay. My instincts might kick in again, and then they might not let you go. I won’t forgive myself if I…”

Pat, pat. “You’re more freaked out about this than I am, Uth. Breathe.”

“You SHOULD be freaked out!” He explodes, all of his emotions finally breaking the surface and spilling. “What if I killed you? What if I DO kill you by waiting too long? Your kids need you, and—and I…” I need you. I’m so selfish. God. 

His breath shudders as he continues, “...When I get you out of there, I think you shouldn’t even talk to me from a distance—I’m more of a danger to you than any help, at this rate. I’m not to be trusted. I have selfish intentions. I want this.”

“No!” Owen moves suddenly with his exclamation, causing Uthman to wince. “God damn it, Uthman, you’ve helped me more than anyone else down here! I don’t care that you lose control now and then—honestly, I don’t even mind if you do end up killing me. I’d prefer that over anything else doing it!”

That takes him out of it. His eyes open wide in horror. “...What? Owen, you—you wouldn’t just let me kill you, would you?”

“Of course not! I just—well…” Owen sighs, and Uthman can tell that he’s curling into himself, receding away the farthest he can in the little space he has. He tries not to notice how much he can feel this, implying that the walls of his stomach are squeezing around him. “...You heard Stinger. I’ve… probably already failed my kids. I don’t care what happens to me, I just… want you to be there.”

Now he’s really concerned. He pushes the welling warmth in his chest, much too literal, aside. “...You haven’t given up, have you? Stinger’s full of it. Even if he isn’t, you should still try, you know.”

“I was supposed to be comforting you, stupid.” 

Uthman laughs a little at that. “...It worked, I think.” 

He becomes aware again of the present situation and urgently starts walking, thankfully recognizing a nearby hallway as a reference point for the distance to his office. “I’m such a hypocrite, I said we shouldn’t wait but I drew this out longer by stopping to argue with you,” he hums, allowing himself to find a little amusement in this. 

As he walks, he notices how much the movement jostles Owen’s weight around, as though he were lugging him around in a bag. That can’t be pleasant. Cursing himself internally, he places a hand on his belly to keep it as still as he can. 

Pat, pat. Owen’s hand meets his, seeming to have caught on.

His face screws up in embarrassment, heat returning to his cheeks. ————————————————

Owen is expelled harmlessly out onto Uthman’s makeshift bed. It’s a lot less warm out here, but he prefers having his full range of motion, which he immediately uses to sit up and stretch his back out with a pop.

He looks up to poor Uthman above him, coughing still. “Uuugh,” he groans, wiping at his mouth. “You okay?” Owen asks gently.

The mascot blinks, then narrows his eyes at him. He clears his throat, composing himself. “I should be asking you that. I wasn’t the one that was nearly eaten alive.” He takes off his labcoat, using it to methodically dry off the other man in place of a towel. 

…Oh, yeah, he’d gotten so used to it in the past… 30 minutes? That he forgot he was absolutely drenched in spit and whatever else.

He crosses his arms, just letting it happen.

“If you had a concussion, it seems to have cleared up. I should check you for burns, though,” Uthman comments idly as he works.

“You gonna undress me?” Owen immediately regrets saying that, shutting his mouth from saying anything further at practically mach 5.

Uthman stops. Even with the fur covering his face, Owen can spot that hint of teal to his cheeks underneath. Actually, it was probably long present. “No, but I was going to ask you to remove them. Even besides possible injuries, your clothes are… probably ruined.” He looks away ashamedly. “I have a change of clothes in here.”

Owen chuckles awkwardly. “...Sorry, didn’t mean it like that.” He sort of did. “I appreciate it, but are you sure you don’t need them?”

“...They… don’t fit anymore, anyways,” Uthman bemoans as he continues to dab at any remaining saliva. Owen frowns sympathetically.

————————————————

Uthman finds nothing out of the ordinary after checking his skin, which is a relief, but also puzzling. Is the acid in a Gi.vanium-based digestive system that weak? Thank god for that design flaw.

The both of them find themselves hit with exhaustion after Owen gets changed and everything settles down, and Uthman… frustratingly hungry, with his stomach no longer full.

A distressing element about his body’s cravings is that they’re not supposed to happen at all. He has no biological need for food. But like a phantom limb, he still experiences the ghost of getting hungry from his memories as a human. 

He wishes it was just that, and that it didn’t manifest in animalistic, predatory instincts.

Having nothing else, he settles on a few granola bars, offering some to Owen, as well. He has to look away from him as he eats.

Uthman tries to convince Owen to go sleep somewhere else tonight, but isn’t able to—he’d have to risk running into another dangerous Case, or collapsing from exhaustion. There’s nowhere else to go. Begrudgingly, he allows it.

They settle into their separate makeshift beds. But… neither of them can sleep, despite how tired they are from the scare of the earlier situation.

“...Hey,” Owen pipes up after a while.

“Mmm?” Uthman barely manages to vocalize.

“...Could I sleep with you?” 

His eyes shoot right open, and he sits up. “What?? I’m sorry, I know you probably got used to it, but I could have killed you earlier, and I’m nervous even about this proximity.”

“I’m just cold,” Owen clarifies, embarrassedly. He feels like a little kid asking to get into their parent’s bed, and he’s a 40 year old man. “...And you’re warm. But I’ll deal.”

…Right. The temperature is low in here to kill germs, like a doctor’s office. He has no way of changing it. Naturally, being drenched probably made him chilly, too—

He sighs. “...Fine. I kind of owe this to you after that, I don’t want you to freeze.” He pulls up his blankets and gestures him over. Owen crawls in and settles next to him, unable to help nuzzling into his fur, sighing as he feels the other’s warmth wash over him. “...Thank you,” he mumbles.

Uthman tenses up. There’s those butterflies in his stomach again… oh, no, that’s physical, actually. It’s growling. His face flushes, turning his head away with a distressed grimace. He’s certain that he heard that. “Do you see what I mean? You really shouldn’t trust me.”

“It’s not a big deal—I mean, maybe you’ll just do that instead of trying to, uh, eat my pancreas, next time,” Owen jokes. Uthman really doesn’t find it funny. He wraps his arms around him, though, selfishly pulling him closer. He paradoxically relaxes, despite his heart beating out of his chest. “...Well, if it happens again, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”

Owen sticks his tongue out mockingly at him. “Well, it was actually kind of nice, just so you know.” 

Uthman makes a strangled noise at that, hiding his face with his arm. “Please don’t say that.” Owen laughs.

They stop bickering and fall asleep soon after.

[stormblessed95]

Sorry if you talked about it before and i didn’t see, but what were your thoughts on the taemin episode last week?

I loved the 93 bond start to develop, and the way taemin and jimin talked about each other was really sweet. We haven’t gotten to see much of their friendship on camera. I love how taemin talked about similarities between him and jm (especially the word ‘genderless’). I personally think taemin is (probably) queer just like i think yoongi and jimin are, and it was really lovely the way the three of them connected - they’re some of the only people who are in their specific situations so they can relate to each other.

The way they compared it to a blind date with jimin as matchmaker made me laugh xD

Lmao you said last week and I'm just now getting to this over a month later.... If this doesn't highlight how bad I've been about my asks. I still have some I need to answer back from Seven promos!! I'm so sorry y'all.

It's been a while since Ive seen it (over a month lmao) but I remember loving it. Because I love everything Yoongi does. That man has got me in a chokehold and I'm happy to be there! And Jimin was there too so like, amazing all around. The things that I remember so therefore stood out to me from the 3 of them were how adorable it was in the way they both clearly love Jimin. They are so "let hyung love on you" with him. Lol

Jimin calling Taemin Hyungie which was adorable.

Yoongi having an impossible time trying to wrap his head around them being the same age but Taemin being his groups maknae lmfao Yoongi is so hyung coded at this point. He can't even pretend to relate to that part of their separate idol experiences. 😂😂

Yoongi making Jimin turn around so he could interview Taemin because both of them kept turning to look at Jimin instead of focusing on each other lol

Jimin saying idk if y'all will be friends but I'll support this friendship 😂😂😂

I just enjoy seeing them interact with each other and with people outside BTS. Like it makes me happy. Idk why, it just does. I don't have too many opinions on Taemin personally. Don't know anything about him too much really outside of the little Jimin himself has shared.... But it seemed like they had a lot of fun and I enjoy seeing my boys smile!

Yoongi and Jimin CLEARLY trying to behave but somehow still being unable to help teasing each other lmao

Yoongi and Jimin calling the members family and saying how they both can't wait until 2025 To be reunited all together again 🥰🥰😭😭🥰🥰

Thanks for asking! And for being so patient with me and how inactive I've been and my poor inbox!!

[wonryllis]

MOOT GAME : " put your moots and their biases in a prompt generator and rate them!! "

only if u want to ^^

、ㅤ🍓 ⋆ ࣪ 午 MOOTS IN PROMPT GENERATOR ᵎᵎ

that's such a creative game! loved doing this!! since this is an enblr account i've only done enha bias,, included everyone except those who have left or are inactive or whose bias i don't know. (p.s. @okwonyo this is the one i suspected was you :) ( MUTUALS )

@jaesvelvet ( cha )

jay. cuteee 8/10 and then taking pictures and getting sad when the cast comes off but really like drawing on cast is therapeutic.

sunghoon. that's straight up soft romance like ahhh 10/10 sucks for that friend to see y'all lovey dovey even in sleep but that's literally the purest thing everrrr

heeseung. now this is my thing, we're getting on to the real deal everything/10 can read this trope thousand times and still love love love it though cha it'll be pretty sad for you bae.

@hoes4hoseok ( piper ) & @heelvsted ( rin ) & @boyfhee ( caelin )

jay. this is crack, full of crack but this trope is saurrr good one of the best of all times and piper would probably elevate it even further obvious x obvious 11/10 we all love that don't we.

heeseung. oh my god rin you living in a f2l fanfic this is so good and cute and fluffy like 17/10 imagine lee heeseung cheering you up with his silly jokes and rizzless(full) attempts at flirting. if you ain't falling for him there's and then, then you are god's strongest soldier.

heeseung. this is 1000000/10 this is so unique, don't know if it's cael's cup of tea but it's definitely mine! crack and romance,,, next level of crack like imagine cael getting her enemies to lovers arc after becoming a ghost and scaring the daylights out of people, fun right?

@jangwonie ( fae ) & @atrirose ( seiu ) & @jungqkook ( aurora/haru )

jungwon. this is totally my type again, the sick in love would do anything to see you happy tolerate all your shit, find it adorable ... 99/10 those lovesick eyes that watch you tell the most unhinged thing and think of how much they love you and how cute you are and how much you mean to them. like okayyyyy that's love.

riki. so cute so cute so cute so cute,,, love/10 literally so good sei is living in her own yn world and we are all just side characters. and not to mention this is so riki too he'd definitely fight and then somehow be discovered by the one he has feelings for and they boom the awkward confession and kiss ahhhhh i'm in love with this prompt,, kinda manga vibes which i loveeee

heeseung. noooo this is the cutest yet saddest prompt everrrr,,, haruu babe im so sorry this had to be it buttt let's look at the cute and crack part only especially if you get scared and startled easily imagine him trying to talk to you not having shown himself yet and you just get scared and scream lmao 9/10 becuz i don't wanna see haru sad.

@enhalov ( muse ) & @okwonyo ( jiah/bambi )

jay. the perfect little yn moment straight out of "how to get your crush to notice you" 100000000/10 love love love thisss, museee you got such a banger prompt, so so so fanfic coded i can't stress enough on how perfect it is and how much you suit this!!!

sunoo. this is a kdrama moment! 7/10 because pda (i feel shy even witnessing it) but good for muse you're showing it off to everyone and that too on ny eve like imagine the fireworks finishing off and then sunoo goes for a kiss becuz now everyone's attention is off from fireworks.

jake. okay no why is this so jiah coded? bambi would definitely do this for jake like a million times yk reminding him how much he means to her and how much girlie loves him. "she needs to make sure jake is always aware of his importance in her life!" infinity/10 one of my favs.

@joomiu ( nat )

sunoo. cuteeee strangers to lovers starting on the train 7/10 falling asleep on someone's shoulder is such pure fluff. nat better seize the opportunity to bag sunoo up, you don't getting him laying his head on you everyday.

sunghoon. this is so classic but still so heart fluttering man 111/10 absolute cuteness. full of domestic vibes! i know for a fact nat would do this and then giggle over this for weekss,, i mean who wouldn't.

jungwon. this is thousand kisses nat vibes totally fits her vibes and can literally imagine this actually happening, nat fussing over the fogged up glasses and lovesick won staring at her with heart eyes omgggg gem/10

@heecyon ( bee/ally)

sunghoon. this is like a lifetime kinda love you gotta grab it while you have it 9/10 absolute domestic vibes yk a supporting partner who goes to all ends.

jake. this is cute, super cute, next they kisss. 6/10 because we hate getting sick

jay. another angsty one we here 1000/10 for my sad loving ass. the star-crossed illfated turned forever lovers we go. this gives the love, rosie vibes i cried my eyes out to that but that was some good emotional shit.

@heesbaby ( cinna ) & @ctrlemis ( art )

jay. classic and then they realise their feelings and fall in love. 15/10 cinna and her dream jay date?

sunoo. now this seems very unlikely,, it would be more like both of them screaming their lungs out but this is nevertheless super cute so 9/10

sunoo. this so gives art vibes. can really picture it all happening, sunoo all excited to match? and then there's art secretly loves it but no way is gonna show it on the outside and happily wear it to make sunoo and sunoo's mom happy. 9/10

[melancholysway]

I know it says that the asks are closed but, I do want to throw this out there for when they do become open again.

Can we have the fem S/O give their turtle a gift for their birthday and it happens to be multiple positive pregnancy tests?

Yes!

also please note: DO NOT do this to your s/o if you both aren't ready to have kids. That's terrible and might even ruin the relationship. Personally if I was a guy and wasn't ready for kids I wouldn't want this as a present. It'll literally ruin my birthday LMAO. (does that sound harsh? sorry ya'll)

So, I'm writing these in the scenario that you've both talked about having kids and are actively trying to have them.

also! I'm so sorry for being inactive! school is whooping my ass and my job! i'm trying my best to get these out without having you guys wait too long!

TMNT 2007 Headcanons: Fem!S/O Giving their Turtle a Positive Pregnancy Test as a BDay Gift!

Leonardo

lowkey so fucking excited

like the thought of a mini leo running around makes him so happy seriously

he will go on and on and on (and on and on) about how he wants to be the one to teach the baby ninjitsu

"it'll run in their blood just wait and see"

he also wasn't expecting the test to come on his birthday of all days

after trying for a while to get pregnant (wink wink) he just wasn't sure it was possible. A human and a mutant? the odds are super low.

like, scientifically low.

So when you bought the 3 pack of tests for extra reassurance, you thought the best way to tell him was on his birthday that was upcoming.

You don't make it a big scene, you give him the wrapped-up gift in private

"Another gift? You're spoiling me, love" He opens the gift up, confused on what it could be

And tadaa! it's not one, not two, but THREE positive tests!

He's speechless for a moment. You were nervous. Did he not want kids anymore? Was it not the right time for this sort of thing? You were both trying so hard tha-

"I'm going to be a dad."

"I'm going to be a dad!" His smile starts to grow, and after getting up he just hugs you so tight and goes to tell his own father.

He also wants to know immediately if it's a boy or a girl- he's so excited that he forgets you're not able to tell in the first few weeks.

Showers you in butterfly kisses all over your face. He's so happy, that he actually yells it out into the sewers that he's gonna be a dad. He can't stop saying it

And he won't ever stop saying it, he doesn't care, he's ready. So so ready.

Leo would be such a good dad guys omg.

Raphael

At first, raph doesn't want kids.

It sucks, but you have to respect it. He's not obligated to say yes, and vice versa

You wonder why, and when he finally tells you the reason, it's almost comical.

he doesn't think he would be a good dad.

It's just- he's so...big...and violent...and, well, wouldn't the baby be scared of him or something?!

"I'm not just telling you this because I'm yours, Raph, but I 1000% think you would make an amazing father."

He takes it with a grain of salt. He's unsure. He doesn't wanna hurt the baby or anything.

But, he's so gentle with you, and you let him know that.

Once you give him some time and reassure him, he caves in and says yes.

"I got this, babe."

He tries oh so hard to get you pregnant. To keep this blog PG-17, I won't go into detail, but you get the idea (wink wink)

Him and Donnie are two peas in a pod, so he's going to Donnie at least once a day to ask him what he's doing wrong or right when it comes to getting you pregnant. Not only that, but he's asking Donnie if it's possible- if it's truly possible he can have a baby with you.

“If I'm almost a 6-foot talking walking mutant turtle, anything is possible, Raph.”

It's been a few months, and once you take a test and says it's positive, you could cry.

You contain yourself, saving the test where raph won't see it- you hide it in Donnie's lab.

It's now a secret between you and the purple terrapin.

Donnie suggests you give him it as a present. Raph's been getting amped up about possibly being a dad, plus his birthday is almost here, so why not surprise him that way?

And, you do.

It's so sudden and you do it so nonchalantly that he has to do a double take when he opens the box.

He's in shock for a bit, as he was starting to lose hope it wouldn't be possible, but here it is, sitting right in front of him.

He puts it aside and gives you such a passionate kiss, you become weak in the knees.

He's gonna be a father. He's gonna be a dad- just like Master Splinter was to him.

He wants to be the best father he can be, and thinks about all the things he wants to teach his kid when they start to grow up.

"I want 'em to be like you, but wit my good looks."

It's the sweetest compliment he could give you, and it's one of those rare times that he smiles. Right now, he's smiling at you, at the box, and at life.

Donatello

This turtle is nervous.

He already knows the science behind everything, he knows there’s a slim chance of you actually being pregnant, but he still wants to try.

Donnie thinks he wouldn't know how to parent despite reading so much and watching and experiencing parenting himself. He was basically raised by a single dad

and if Splinter can take care of 4 mutant turtles as a mutant rat, then Donnie can raise a mini him

Very on top of your cycle, he wants to know what phase you're in so that it increases the chances of getting you pregnant

makes sure you're eating enough nutrient-rich foods and drinking enough water for higher chances of pregnancy, yes ya'll it helps!

he tracks how you're feeling and such which is really sweet of him. Dating Donnie is basically dating a doctor.

And after months and months of trying hard for a baby, you're shocked as you're looking at 3 different positive pregnancy tests.

You weren't expecting it today- as it was Donnie's birthday, and being pregnant hadn't been on your mind for a few days until today. Yes, you noticed your period was late, but you assumed it was from the slight stress you were experiencing, you wanted today to be special for him and were focused on just that- and what do you know, you have his ultimate birthday gift inside you at the moment.

Donnie does so much for everyone else that you wanted to spend it with him being pampered like the king he is

It all goes well, and he couldn't be happier

just when he thinks the day is done you whip out this tiny purple box from behind your back and he's super confused. He got so many things today from you, and you had another trick up your sleeve?

He goes to sit in his swivel chair at his work table and opens it, looking at you sheepishly when he opens it to reveal all the positive tests you took this morning

"I found out this morning, and I thought this would be a good gif- Donnie!"

He picks you up and twirls you around, cheering with you that you're going to be parents- finally!

Though he's a little nervous, he has enough knowledge- deep down Donnie really thinks he would be pretty decent at the whole dad thing.

He sets you down and kisses you, thanking you for being his.

Michelangelo

Okay, this turtle couldn't be any happier

will NOT shut up about it at all

He goes to Donnie a lot to give him advice on how to get you pregnant (tmi, but whatevs,) and Donnie tells him about ovulation, fertility, the whole nine yards

so he utilizes those windows in your cycle, the better chance to get you pregnant am i right?

he's not really thinking about how low the chances are, he thinks if he's lucky enough to be with someone like you, he'll have enough luck stored up to have a kid!

Once his birthday comes around, you decide to surprise him with it once he wakes up

"Happy birthday, Mikey. I think you'll like it a lot."

and he does

he's still wiping his eyes from his deep sleep but he's still super excited as to what his first gift on his birthday would be

"Thanks! You got me sticks?" Whoops. You may have forgotten to have them facing up. Either that or he's still not fully awake

"No, Mikey, turn them over,"

It takes him a bit, but he got the gist. You could tell once he shot out of bed

"No way! Everybody, I got a kid for my birthday!"

Cue Mikey waking everyone up in the Lair to tell them the news

He tells Leo first, he's the lightest sleeper anyway- and he's so happy for his baby brother

Now everyone's awake, he's already deciding on names (an equal amount of boys and girls names,)

You didn't even get that far as to names, but he's literally 20 steps ahead of you, I'm talking asking April what kinds of clothes she thinks would fit on a half mutant half human baby

But seriously, this is a great gift for Mikey! It's what you both have been wanting.

//

taglist:

@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside

masterlist

[espresso-ships]

Heyy!

So, university has started again and the first three weeks of it has been... Overwhelming.

I'm finally out of my creative block, and have had the motivation for creative writing and working on my book/the project for school

Buuut...

Now I'm just really overwhelmed instead lmao 🥲

I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and I don't feel like myself rn.

Balancing between schoolwork, socializing with friends and posting on social medias is just a crappy combination at the moment

Especially since my interactions have been very low on this account lately :/ Idk if it's the algorhitms or my posts getting lost amongst others but it's making me really anxious atm I'm NOT saying this to sound petty or complain about popularity - it's merely my anxiety talking and discouraging me from posting because of it.

I can't really say I'll be taking a break - because I know damn well I might as well be back in two days once I'm less stressed

I'm usually good at explaining my feeling but I can barely do that right now, so I'm sorry if this makes no sense.

It's just a lot rn and I'm overthinking things.

So yea

If I'm inactive or missing out on my lovely mutuals posts/tags, that's why.

(If you saw the other post I made earlier about this - sorry lol, was gonna edit it but messed up 😭)

Love you all - ☕💟

[rexecutioner]

I LOVE MY GANG (yes this is why ive been so inactive lmao I love Splatoon)

From left to right:

My friend Kat, @amnesiaskulls, my friend Heroboy, and me! (Our in game names are Mystery Inc. lol, im Shaggy)

WE WON AN 100x BATTLE BABYYY

sorry to my aphmau followers lmao im a nerd in more ways than one

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Also I suppose I should say this-

For those wondering why there hasn't been much word on Dream Trail (a game I'm working on that already had a demo release @/dream-trail-rpg ), I'm currently taking a step back from the project! Chip is overseeing things in my stead for now while the team works on it (things are just a bit inactive at the moment because I imagine some people are busy)

I'm taking a step back to focus on other projects (including other possible games I'd like to make) because my motivation for Dream Trail is VERY low and I think the inspiration and motivation for it fizzled when I fell out of Omori completely. I still love Dream Trail, but I just can't put in attention or care at this current state, so I'll return to the project when my brains back in Dream Trail mode. I didn't want my lack of initiative to continue keeping things on hold which is why I gave the green light for things to develop without my constant being there HAHA

Dream Trail is NOT dead and for all the people who've been keeping up with it, so sorry for the radio silence 🙏

If you don't know what DT is, go try the demo perhaps!! However be warned it's filled with very old Sock art LMAO