#so sometimes its better to let them go even tho it hurts and its hard

[alinadafrog]

Uhm I don't rlly do poetry (?)stuf al that much but lemme know if u think this is any good :3 Usually I try to make it rhyme but I jus kinda forgo lol(soz ma handwriting is kinda messy I tried to be neat)

[xiao-come-home]

Thinking about post-story Jiaoqiu trying to find himself in the new situation.. and getting even more clingier 🤧

warning: spoilers for jaoqiu's story if you havent played the new quest. possible ooc jiaoqiu?

Word count: 1k+

a/n: its been a while from writing and even tho im not disabled in any way, i hope its alright bc im kinda nervous to post this. i just think hed be a lovely pain in the butt to get more love </3

The new reality has been a true challenge for Jiaoqiu - trying to navigate through the house was already a tedious task, let alone cooking, but he wasn't going to give up so easily. While yes, he did miss doing things by himself - which, once in a while brought dark clouds over his head - the foxian managed to find enjoyment through doing tasks together, with your help.

It's quite known that Jiaoqiu isn't afraid of craving affection from you anywhere and anytime - especially now, considering he's limited in what he's able to do safely without hurting himself. Now that you're welcome in the kitchen to assist him, the pink-haired foxian can't help, but pull you flush against him while you carefully guide his hands to cut vegetables in even slices.

The healer slowly trails the tip of his nose down your hair until he recognizes the familiar shape of your neck - Jiaoqiu nuzzles happily into you, ever so slightly tickling you and giving you goosebumps; he smiles against your skin when you let out a comically fake, tired sigh, only fueling him to continue pestering you further.

He purposely takes his chin off the top of your head and searches for your ears so he's able to whisper, but when you decide to playfully confront him, Jiaoqiu only plays dumb and tilts his head to the side, asking you a seemingly innocent question, "Hmm? What do you mean, love? I'm not doing anything, the kitchen is not a playground, remember?"

There's a chance you'd probably believe him if you two were mere coworkers - but his twitching ears always give away his attempts to lie to you.

Jiaoqiu is clingy. Absolutely no news to anybody. That's when you finally get done with cooking, it's time for the cunning foxian to get a break; he stretches his arms to you, waiting until you put his hands on your cheeks. He cups them gently, rubbing the soft flesh with his thumb, and softly moves it to find your lips - his mind paints a picture of your figure, the shape and every crease his fingers feel; he smiles at you yet again, with a glimmer of mischief.

He wants to kiss you.

He also knows he will most likely miss your lips more or less.

But instead of feeling hopeless, he uses it to his advantage.

Jiaoqiu begins to pepper your face in kisses until he feels you try to get away from him and hears your angelic giggles; he kisses your left eyebrow - oh no, that's definitely not the place he's aiming for! He moves more to the right and kisses the bridge of your nose - oh no, not yet! The softness of his lips meets the apple of your cheek - oh, that's closer, but still not the goal he has in his mind...

After a while of Jiaoqiu purposely changing directions (and probably missing some anyway, but it's not like he complains about it, since he can kiss you more this way), with a little help of yours, he places a kiss on the corner of your lips, barely giving you time to breathe and finally, finally reaching his awaited destination, pressing his lips on yours; he gives you a few quick kisses if he feels like he still misses the exact place to change the angle, melting into a puddle with butterflies in his stomach.

Is it hard sometimes? Yes. The heavy weight travels straight to his heart, leaving him clenching his fists; the foxian hates the helplessness that hurts twice as much, much worse than the wounds Hoolay has inflicted.

Nowadays, his ears pick up your step way better, even letting him guess correctly what jar of herbs you're opening from the mere sound. He uses his tail as some sort of object detector - but he only waves his fan innocently when it makes you yelp in surprise, as Jiaoqiu runs the tip down your spine all the way down.

"Ah, I wonder what that was?" Jiaoqiu wonders, the fluffy ears twitching and the pink tail swishing behind him, "Is something wrong, beloved? Did you mess up the measurements? No worries, we'll fix it right away."

Well, if you decide to leave the house for supplies, you now have to hold his hand all the time. Just to be sure, he also wraps his tail around you, so he knows you're by his side and he doesn't bump into anybody. Hey, he's just thinking about the civilians around him! As a doctor, there's nothing else that matters more than keeping them safe and healthy... Right?

Even though he's been braiding his hair for years and could probably do it by himself again - being only a tiny bit off on one side, he cuddles up to you in the morning and presses kisses onto your neck, silently asking you to help him once you get out of bed - you certainly can't miss his hair getting all up in your face... and therefore, what he's asking for.

Does he feel a liiiitle desperate? Mmm, a bit.

Does he feel like he's feeding the helplessness in the back of his mind? Sometimes.

But it's worth to look for happy moments regardless of the situation - and you being perfectly aware he's doing it solely to get even more of your attention - makes him feel a little better with it.

Though, he knows when to stop and give you space; he doesn't want to actually become your burden, even if he lost his sight, he's still trying his best to stay as independent as possible in terms of daily tasks as possible.

If you're tired, Jiaoqiu waits until you hand him the brush and he's the one combing your hair; if you're too sleepy in the morning, he's the one helping you put on your clothes with verbal help, even if it takes a bit more time than usual. Along with you, he organizes medicines so neatly, it takes a blink of an eye for him to bring a full tray of medicines when you happen to catch a cold.

Does he miss being able to see? More than he'd admit.

But the more he thinks, the pink-haired foxian always comes to the same conclusion - it'll probably be harder to unlearn the clinginess once his eyesight comes back...

But for now, maybe it's alright to indulge a little more?

[insomniakisses]

Mixed Arsenal x Buff!Alpha Reader HCs

Alphas - Buff / Gentle Giant R, Beth, Caitlin, Steph, Lotte

Omegas - Leah, Lia, Viv, Katie, Alessia, Kyra

When she first joined arsenal everyone assumed shed be a rough, tough mean alpha.

Her appearance gave that off and they just figures her quietness was rudeness.

The alpha’s would shove and push at her because shes strong, she can take it.

The omegas kept their distance because they didn’t want some mean alpha touching them. Even katie stayed away because she didn’t want R.

It took beth and cait being particularly rough for things to change.

R having been pushed hard to the floor and she just whimpered eyes watery as she curled into herself.

Beth and Cait immediately felt bad but were so confused because why is this buff nearly 6 foot alpha whimpering from a light shove?

All it took was a “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me” for them to immediately understand

The omegas rushed over and u were hugged better, head in Vivs neck as she rocked u a little.

It was a little awkward with ur big body and her smaller one but she made it work.

After the incident they were a lot gentler with you, only rough housing when it was initiated by you and the omegas let you close to them.

They found your large muscles arms wrapped round them mind numbing.

You may be strong and big but your hold on them was always soft and gentle, though they felt so protected.

Having the omegas in her arms calms Buff!R soooo much.

- ANATOMY -

Shes definitely 8-9 Inches, 1.5-2 inches thick with such a pretty blush tip. Her cock has a thick vien underneath and shes un-cut.

She has one ball that hangs a little lower than the other and they’re full and round.

She keeps well trimmed and has a pretty thick and full happy trail tho she shaves it down.

She def shaves a cute heart or star there sometimes.

Shes POTENT. One or two drops = Pups

- SEX HCs BELLOW -

ALOT of ridding.

R just loves gentle riding, holding the girls hips and guiding them on her cock.

Shes all low groans and soft gasps as she watches her omegas bounce in her big cock loving how she stretches out their pretty pussy’s and how they make a mess on her cock.

She has terrible pull out game, like non existent.

In ruts is when she comes into her own pinning her small omegas and pounding away hard and fast.

Size kink go brrrrrrrrr

She doesn’t really get with the alphas tbh. Its inky in couple settings like with lessi and leah, cait and katie or viv and beth.

Its rare even then someone’s going to fuck her ass.

The first one to do it was Beth.

It took getting R pussy drunk and balls deep in vivi but beth managed it rubbing her hands up and down Rs back and hips placing kisses as Rs mouth latched onto Vivs neck her hips softly thrusting into Vivs pussy ready to give her a biggg load.

The second she felt beth by her ass she froze and her eyes widened but a whimper from viv and her legs locking around her kept R in place.

Beth was gentle when fucking into Rs ass knowing she was her first and she kept teasing to a minimum.

Very soft moment. The only jokes were about how much cum poor vivi was getting, the girl having JUST come off Birth control there was a very high likely R gave her a pup.

Beths constant teases of “Trying to get my wife pregnant huh baby?” And Vivs whines and she rubbed at her own clit cheeks flushed as she begged for more cum.

Ofc beth was also filling R up and kissing her neck and back.

The 3 were very much bonded when at training the next day and EVERYBODY could tell with how viv insisted R carried her or how R seemed to craze Beths attention and approval.

Though R isn’t against some alpha-alpha action shes still Alpha enough to get aggressive and snappy when her alphahood is questioned.

It was another Beth and Viv night when this was really shown.

Beth wanted to test how far R was comfortable going and tied her up making her watch as she fucked viv. It hadn’t been many nights since they all first lay together so if viv was pregnant they wouldn’t have knows, at least anyone but the sire and Viv.

Beth spent the night taunting a caged R telling her who vivs REAL alpha was and who should fuck viv.

These comments passed with glares, annoyed huffs and maybe a growl or two if her tone was particularly patronising but it didn’t really come to head till viv was straddling R and pushing out all the cum into her lap.

A clear disrespect to R and she felt herself growing upset trying to communicate to beth silently too embarrassed in front of viv. But she kept going;

“See Y/N? Whos the true alpha huh? Say it tell me who-“

The second they locked eyes though beth saw the unshed tears, embarrassment and the flicker of uncomfortable shame.

Not wanting to hurt R more she made an excuse.

“Im tired, thats enough. Viv baby why don’t u go get a bath ready for us yeah?

The second Viv was gone R was uncaged and hugged.

The boundaries of what was okay and what was not now known and passed on to the rest of the pack a new sense of understanding formed.

Though R still has only been with beth out of the alphas in that way, the others could now do so without fear of going wrong.

- END NSFW -

The pack are still learning when it comes to buff R.

Theres still times her soft feelings vs her buff hard appearance.

Buff R still sometimes shuts down and hides away from them.

She gets embarrassed they might think she should just alpha up or be weak not this middle ground she has.

But they love her and she loves them so they will all figure it out in time.

[pumpkinsy0]

since ponyboy cant seem to stay awake for shit (always passing out like bro please stop being a drama queen go to a doctor for this 💀🙏) lemme get some hcs for CURLYS reaction if pony passed out around him?? i feel as though youve done this already.... but more hcs bring me joy

yknow i dont think ive done this before actually, so y not

•curly wouldve noticed something was up w pony but theres not much he wouldve done until pony actually passed out, nothing personal, its just that curly doesnt take care of his own self and that can show through when other r sick around him, he has a “just push through it” attitude over it, “maybe itll pass” typa deal

•ur lucky if curly can even catch pony before he falls, curlys not weak, but just not the fastest to understand that ponys gonna pass out, its like curlys mind goes blank too

•but yea, pony passes out and thats when curly freaks out, cause he doesnt know what to do, like at all, usually when someone gets hurt, tim just handles it and curly watches, sometimes helps, but not much. but unfortunately, tim aint here so theyre both done for

•when it comes to ppl he cares about, curly obviously does gaf, so its not like he leaves pony there, but he is running around like a headless chicken trying to dig around his brain to find out what to do, its not like he can just full on carry pony home, like i said curlys strong but not “carry someone home miles away” strong

•hes slapping pony a lil, lets b serious, im not saying it has to b HARD, like small “hey cmon wake up” kinda ones, he gets aggressive when worried what can i say

•however it is completely possible that he just tries finding someone from ponys gang or tim or maybe even angela and hes like “yea i need help here” and then that person is just left to do most of the work

•i dont think he would just full on leave ponys side tho, he just becomes kind if a nuesance, just looking over the persons shoulder to see what theyre doing, telling them to b careful even tho THEYRE doing most of the work here n curlys just watching em intensely

•u couldnt pry curly away from ponys bedside, curly WILL b one of if not THEE first faces pony sees when he wakes up and curly wouldnt let pony even ask what happened before he does, theyre both confused as hell

•someone does eventually have to tell curly to back away for a bit and give pony space, hell maybe it even IS pony saying it, curly can come off strong at the worst times possible, its alright sometimes but other times, its just a lot

•at some point in time, ik curlys laughing at pony for it though, ofc its when ponys feeling all better but still, he WOULD

[lafayette-paw-arts]

Ur blog srsly brings us the vees polycule we needed. Do you have any angsty hcs 👀

I am glad to bring it! As a poly person myself I was very upset the Vees aren't canonically poly, I was so excited for the rep

As always your wish is my command but careful what you wish for~

Valentino has hit Vox with the glass cups he throws before, it shattered Vox's screen because of the force and Valentino completely panicked. He vowed to never throw things again but being Val it didn't last very long, he's now hyper aware of when he throws something near Vox so it doesn't hit him. While Vox usually sidesteps to move further away from the impact point he knows if he stayed put it wouldn't have hit him.

Velvette once forgot about the extermination and went out to get something an hour before it started, she got caught up in the extermination and got badly hurt. Thankfully the boys were there to protect her and get her back to the safety of the tower.

Vox had also been hurt badly that night because he stalled for time so Valentino could get Velvette back to the tower, Velvette felt so guilty after that, she knows her stupid mistake could have gotten them all killed.

Vox has serious insecurity issues but he rarely talks about them to his partners despite how much they want him to open up, he's worried if he does they'll realize he's not worth their time.

Velvette has scars on her thighs from a particularly bad ex she had when she first got to hell, the boys asked about them only once but when she quickly shut down all questions about it and practically bolted from the room they mutually understood they were never going to ask her about it again. If she wants to tell them she will.

Vox has a nasty scar that runs down his back, Valentino and Velvette assume it's from Alastor but they have no confirmation or denial, Vox keeps it hidden as often as he can.

Val has several scars across his midsection, he's told the others where they came from and the three of them will take the secret to their second graves.

Vox has a special technician he pays a lot to deal with his electrical components including the bigger shit like having to replace his screen or in rare cases of severe damage his whole TV needs to be replaced (tho sometimes it is replaced for upgrades).

He's scared he has to leave his fate in someones hands like this but he doesn't have any other choice. He refuses to let Velvette and Valentino in while his technician is working on him. He feels vulnerable enough during this without them witnessing it.

Vox doesn't tell the others if he's not feeling well, he usually locks himself up and tries to deal with it himself, if it ends up being a problem for his technician he calls them, but if its not he tries to deal with it himself without the other Vees finding out.

Velvette has deep self hatred issues, she's always trying to dress better, look better, be better, but it's never enough for her. The boys try their best to show her that she's more than enough, sometimes she believes them, most of the time she doesn't.

When one of the others is hurt the other will be by the bedside keeping an eye on them. Vox will usually be trying to keep things in all of their departments running while the other one deals with the one who is hurt, it's easier for him to bury himself in work than to worry himself sick.

If Vox himself is hurt Val and Velvette will shut the whole damn tower down and sit with him.

Vox made Valentino cry once, he can't even remember what he did to accomplish it but it freaked him out so badly, he never thought he'd see the moth cry and it was definitely a "NOPE! NEVER AGAIN!!!" moment for him.

Vox and Velvette both struggle to talk about serious matters when it comes to the relationship, Val is just much more open.

Velvette doesn't usually have an issue asking to be held when she's feeling like she isn't enough, but Vox struggles hard, very often unable to ask even for a simple hug because he doesn't feel like he deserves it.

Valentino has severe abandonment issues. He really hates being alone in the penthouse so if the others are working he's usually down in the studio bothering some of his employees for random reasons just to keep from being alone.

Valentino always worries that he's too clingy and that the others hate it. Actually they love that he's clingy and snuggly, they tell him that often, he doesn't always believe them.

They each have their own way to calm the others down. Vox will calmly talk them down, Velvette will give soft touches and hugs, and Valentino will use his wings as weighted blankets and allow the others to play with the fluff at the edges of his wings until they're calm.

Alrighty that's all I got, hope you like it!

As always if you want more please let me know!

[meiyudo]

Linecook Anakin HCs pt 2

pt one

HELLO once again i am back with more ani hcs… i have a multitude of ideas like a never ending flow so if u all want more lmk :)

warnings: cursing, ani is a typical horny young adult, smoking; weed, cut?

Sometimes he wears a black bandana to hold his hair back and…. Fuck, its hot

Wears a black hat sometimes too

One time he forgot to bring something to pull his hair back so he embarrassingly had to use someone’s neon scrunchie- he was not thrilled

The type of guy to douse himself in cologne before shift so he smells “good” for longer (plus he thinks you'll like it)

He definitely looks on the schedule app to see what day’s you’re working

Happily surprised when he sees you walk into the kitchen when he knew you weren’t scheduled. 

Walks up to you when you’re clocking in; tosses his rag over his shoulder and leans up against the wall beside you.

“Hey beautiful, I didn’t think you were scheduled”

“Nah, I picked up Hera’s shift, wanted some extra money”

He clicked his tongue and smiled, “Ahh, I think you just missed me, you could have just texted me princess”

“In your dreams Skywalker”

Lots of “fuck’s” and “goddamn’s” when he accidently burns himself on the grill or oven. 

When he cuts himself while preparing the meat or veggies, make sure to clean it out and put a brightly colored bandaid (he keeps them in his pockets) on it… mostly because he wants you to notice he injured himself. 

“What happened Anakin?”

“Oh, nothing- I just was cutting too quick- it kinda hurts tho…wanna kiss it better for me?” he comments with a smirk

“Ughhh, I guess” you roll your eyes and indulge him. 

He gets pissy when the other waitresses aren't running the food in the window because it backs up his workspace and he cant put out new orders

“Hands to the front!” he yells, as he checks the screen for the incoming orders

No one answers, he looks around and sees the waitress doing side work and getting drinks, but not running his food. what the fuck?!

A part of him is frustrated that you aren’t backing him up, but then he realizes you're not even in the kitchen. 

You walk in and see the window is still full; “Guys! Can I get some hands to the window?! I can’t run all of your food plus mine and serve my tables all at the same time” you say loudly. 

You stand by the window handing the plates to the new line of waitresses who are now ready to work so they don’t get yelled at later

“Alright, let's get these out quick! I know its rush but Anakin cant put up the new orders if these don't go out” 

He smiled to himself, you’re not only helping him out, but you also care about him being able to do his work too. 

Once everything is out and things have calmed down he thanks you

“I appreciate it, princess”

“No worries, I was just sick of running everyone’s shit by myself” you sigh

“You’re doin great” he smiles

One time you were on vacation for two weeks and he thought he would die

He flirted with other waitresses but it wasn't the same

The day you came back to work he was surprised to see you- he had forgotten to check who was working

“Hey y/n!” 

His ears perk up at your co-worker’s sing-songy voice.

“Hey Rose” you reply.

You walk into the kitchen; your skin has a noticeable beach tan and he can see a small hit of your bikini line by your collarbone (and ofc that goes straight to his dick- good thing he’s wearing an apron)

“Hey Ani” you say, walking past the kitchen to put your purse in the back. 

“Hey beautiful” 

Throughout the shift he can't help but watch you breeze through the kitchen like you never left. 

Your radiant smile enchants him, making it hard for him to concentrate on the orders coming in.

Definitely curses out new cooks when they mess up too much during rush

Anakin hates when the manager assigns him trainees- he doesn’t wanna come to work and have some idiot mess up his flow by following him all over creation

He gets this new guy and already doesn’t like him because he’s way too talkative

When the new guy finally starts on his own, he starts trying to get the know the waitresses: He talks about this TV show with Hera, exchanges jokes with Rose, banters with Ahsoka, but he doesn’t really talk to you; not that you care, work is for work- you don’t need to make friends with everyone. 

Deep down Anakin is kind of glad he doesn’t try to talk to you (he gets a weird vibe from the new guy)

On 4/20 he brought a bong and all of the cooks and him hit it in the back before shift. 

Everyone thought it was gonna be a disaster, but surprisingly all the cooks were more on top of orders than usual; half of them got really focused on getting stuff right, others just relaxed, and then there was the few who thought everything was hilarious

The restroom is in the front house where the guests sit, so when the cooks need a break they have to walk through the restaurant. 

Sometimes you’ll see anakin come from the back; apron off, messy hair, and his cleaning rag looped on his belt.

But what you also see is a multitude of customers watching hungrily as he walks by.

For some reason that stirs something in you… annoyance? Or maybe it's jealousy?

He really is too hot to be working in the back of a restaurant- his face alone would make much more doing something more appearance based. 

But what you don’t know is that he thinks the same exact thing about you. 

Anakin walks back in from a smoke break and hears the “new” guy talking about a certain waitress he seems to like. 

“Yea, y/n? she’s bangin’, like fine af. Y’all don’t understand how hard imma hit that when I get the chance” 

Anakin’s eye twitches at the disrespectful description of your body and who tf did this guy think he was? There’s no way you’d even entertain him. 

He’s two steps away from taking this guy out back and kicking his ass. 

“Woah, woah man. That might not be the best idea” Rex, another cook, says. 

“Yea, dude. Y/n is basically Skywalker’s girl… and I wouldn’t wanna mess with him when it comes to her” Cody offers. 

Anakin saunters from around the corner, acting like he wasn't listening and the conversation subsides. 

Later walks up to the new guy and grips his shoulder uncomfortably hard; “Yea, the guys are right- I would advise you stay away from y/n and I swear- If I ever hear you making crude comments about her again- you’ll be meeting me out back”

Anakin pats his back and continues on- safe to say he never talks about you again

Scrolls on dating apps that he never actually utilizes when he gets home from a closing shift and finds you- he sits up and focus on all of his attention on your profile

Suddenly bro’s a super spy because he’s analyzing everything- your bio, your likes, what you're looking for, your preferences, your music taste. 

He taps through your pics and his eyes widen as he sees you in clothes other than just work ones… and maker- you are gorgeous. 

His sweatpants feel a little tighter as he scans over a pic of you from your beach vacation- he recognizes the bikini by the tan he saw in you earlier in the month. 

His hands tremble just a little as he decides if he should swipe right or just let it go. 

In a moment of bravery he swipes right- now he’ll show up in your feed to judge-

“Match” 

What?

The screen flashes pink and the words “match” are plastered across the top 

That means that you saw his profile first and swiped right… what does this mean for work tmr??

[eva-does-its-best]

Transition (Part 2) Women

I don't have any problem admitting that the word Woman hurts me deeply, and I don't want to have anything to do with it.

To me Woman just evokes the adult world that time and time again rejects me because of my disabilities and my oddness. It evokes all the terfs, all the discourse thrown from all sides of this war, the mocking laughs that celebrate all our pain with pearly white teeth. It provokes my mind to remember all the radfem ideology and iconography that hurt us so deeply.

It evokes the otherness I felt with other women, both cis and trans. I did not belong in that word.

I never felt any form of meaningful connection to other trans women, just the fun of finding someone like me. I do remember mourning that I would never be or look cis, just like so many of you do, but I lost that through transition.

Every day I noticed more and more differences between me and other trans women, I knew our differences were big but the rift kept expanding more and more until I had to ask myself why, was I just wrong? was I doing it wrong?

I will say, trans men are to thank for my self-discovery, and I hope that burns the eyes and hands of all radfems trans and cis. There was a time where I started to talk to and follow more trans men, and I started having more and more feelings for them and crushes for them and their lives.

And so I imagined what it would be like being a trans man, it sounded so wonderful! And that is when I realized, being born a cis woman would not have made me happy, because if it did why did I imagine myself transitioning too in that world? Why did I imagine the joy of a short haircut, of my first binder, of starting T or getting top surgery? I had to rethink my whole identity.

Right, my identity, what did I want to transition into? Nothing. I just wanted to transition, I wanted to change, I wanted to do as I please with this body I ignored and loathed for so long, I wanted to be happy, transition IS my joy! I transition to trans, not to any form of cis. And a lot of binary trans women didn't like this, and the rift grew even more.

I'd rather be seen as a woman than a man, but I'd rather not be seen as anything at all. Not be assigned any gender at all. Just an ambiguous person, a trans, simply a trans.

I had finally found myself outside of the binary.

When people push me to go back to being a woman, I feel like I'm hanging from a chasm with blades pointed at me yelling at me to let go, to fall back into womanhood. Sometimes I feel weak and think about going back, about letting go and fall, but I cut those feelings off immediately, my life and transition had already been ruined by commodity, I would never fall for its sweet embrace again.

It's hard, but I am non-binary.

I still like girly things, I still have so much euphoria from clothes and dresses and looking feminine. But I reject the purple of womanhood and keep all my femininity and masculinity on the cozy pink of girlhood. These are my terms.

I am aware that partially I am using hrt recreationally, I don't find this negative. The changes it does to me every day do save my life, they do make me beyond happy, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more. Cis lvls of hormones are a small goal, I'd rather have more than the minimum.

If more estrogen makes me happier I will take it. If progesterone makes me happier I will take it. If doing injections instead of pills makes me feel more cathartic and marginalized, in tune with our recent history, I will do it. If DIY feels better I will give up the medical monitoring of my health. Call me an hrt junkie if you want, it does not bother me.

But it is one more aspect of my transition that some other trans women have been offended by.

In any case, I am not going back to being a woman, tho I do not have any resentment for that era of me.

And I am glad I did manage to retain my girlhood.

[weirdfreakshow]

Can I just say I love your bully Joel AU? HOLY SHIT the thought of Etho raping him and basically isolating him from everyone because "he's an irredeemable asshole, nobody would want to be close to him ever, right? Etho is the only person willing to talk to him at all" and manipulating Joel to make him dependent on Etho because Etho himself has become addicted.

Joel lashes out and rebells, just for Etho to put him in his place again and again. At first Etho just did it to shut him the fuck up, but goddamn if that brat wasn't the cutest ass he's ever had. At some point he just started manipulating him and making him have sex with Etho whenever (whether he wanted to or not) as a form of "retribution" and it's this fucked up toxic relationship but Etho doesn't care at all. All his friends praise him for always protecting them from Joel's bullying but little do they know Etho is doing something wayyy worse himself behind the scenes.

I also like to think about how Joel would cope. Like at first he'd cry a lot because it hurt like shit, but then why tf is his body reacting like this?? Why is it responding to Etho? Is there really something wrong with him? I imagine it makes him angry and defensive which causes him to get into even more trouble than before, which leads to Etho abusing him more, which leads to even more lashing out, and the loop just spirals until he's either miserable but still entirely dependent on Etho, or he starts liking it and actively seeks punishment (he never stops crying tho, Ethos likes it when he cries anyway).

Anyway can you tell I'm going insane??? Good food.

Oh my goddddd this. this is everything. I still very much cherish the Bully Joel au, it's SO good

And yeah! You got the looping spiral perfectly, that's kind of the drive for the the whole au to keep going and getting worser. Joel gets a bit shaken at first by it, obviously thrown off by being pushed out of his weird power play he had with everyone, being reminded of his place in the world as "prey", but once he recovers from it a bit he goes right back at lashing out. He's violent, mean, annoying. That's what he does! Lash out at everyone!

Add Etho into the mix and it all becomes a mess, because Etho makes him feel small and scared again, and that makes him want to appear scary, makes him be crueler with the pranks and his words, makes him want to occupy more space and let everyone know he's NOT prey, he's just not, he's not the little red riding hood, he's the wolf. Totally! It makes him hate bdubs, he knows he can't hurt Etho but he can hurt his precious "Bubs" instead. But oh well, that just gets him raped again! Joel is so fucking stupid sometimes!

And oh, when he actually is raped, speared on Etho's hard cock. It's just like he's a kid again, scared and shaking but cumming sooo hard all the same. He hates himself so much, what the fuck is wrong with him? He'll catch himself getting hard from having Etho's gross rapist dick down his throat. Slobbering all over it, taking it all in like a little fleshlight even if it bulges his throat a bit. He doesn't know what's worse, keeping his eyes open and having to look at Etho's lustful eyes or closing them and remembering other things that happened in the past. It's like there's no escape. He doesn't get to dissociate because he's just so horny his whole body burns, and a normal person would wish they were home instead of having to face this horrible situation, but Joel knows being there wouldn't be any better, so he braces for it. Tries to fight back sometimes, yes, but it's pointless. He's small and stupid and I guess his body WAS actually just made for being raped.

All their friends praising Etho is just so good. So . fucking . good . Joel knows not to mess with Gem, avoids Bdubs most of the time, doesn't even bother Tango even though he fucking hates that guy too. It's just fun, Etho says it's truly nuthin', its fine. Oh, always so humble, the guy. What a guy.

Joel already doesn't have THAT many friends, or if he did he doesn't seem to hang out so much with them anymore, especially Grian. Ever since he got a boyfriend they kinda broke apart, so getting Joel alone isn't a hard task. Joel usually ends up sitting alone somewhere hidden, like under the bleachers where he goes to smoke his older brother's stolen cigarettes. Hurting him and getting to his little head isn't hard either, after all he's all bark, secretly a sensitive kid inside

[pwnyta]

HUH

So no one was gonna tell me about The Old Guard?

I was supposed to just find it on a random ass Halloween 4 years after it aired... aight.

I mean I thought we were cool but I see how it is.

Anyways I watched it and I loved it IF YOU EVEN CARE.

Opinions-

Andy- Phenomenal. Never seen Charlize Theron look so damn hot. Even with her spooky eyes. Crazy butch bisexual(?) wielding a labrys sometimes. Love. Her church fight was sick as hell... im in denial about the stab tho... you can pry her from my cold dead fingies Netflix.

Booker-Like... OK. Like I get he was sad but its so hard to feel bad for him sometimes and like.. I dont hate him at all but just... I do wanna strangle him a little. JUST A LITTLE. I dont want him to be gone and never see Andy again... I hate that. I hate this movie.

Nicky- Great side profile, terrific nose... what in the Ben Linus is going on with the eyes tho? Those pale buggy eyes... This is your man, Joe? This Italian priest Templar knight with ghost eyes? Aight. Ribbing aside... I love him. Even if hes got spooky eyes.

Joe- Mortal enemies to immortal lovers is diabolical work. If you give me friends to lovers... it better be Crusade era enemies to begrudging companions to understanding friends to soul mates or fucking dont talk to me about it. NGL Joes kinda my favorite. Hes a silly little guy. Maybe my love for Sayid has made me soft for hyper-competent, deadly, romantic, shiny eyed Muslim men IDK.

Nile- LOVE. ..Ya know when Andy was like 'shes just a baby' I was like I sure hope this movie dont make me ship them cuz the fandom is probably gonna be annoying about that line but their plane fight was so hot... SUE ME. ANYWAYS... I love her. Apparently theres a second movie coming out & I cant wait to see her get to be a silly lil guy with the fam cuz she is silly lil guy. I love her relationship with Andy & I hope Andy gets better so they can be together forever & there can be some messy lesbian love triangle nonsense when Quynh.

Quynh- Dont got like... the deepest opinion of her just yet but her and Andy were like the Sapphic Nicky & Joe but in reverse.. like Nicky & Joe killed attacked each other then became lovers and it seems like Andy & Quynh were close and might become enemies? Of course IM GONNA IGNORE THE BAD STUFF AND PRETEND THEY JUST FIND EACH OTHER & ARE IN LOVE FOREVER. So...

Copley- Similar to Book I get his mindset but also I wanna strangle him a little. He is beautiful tho... so... Im interested in how hes gonna fit in with the gang... Im hoping for some drama at the start maybe them being like '...ya but hes not Booker...' and then Copley like... having some big hero moment saving the team or at least one of them and they get real close and then more drama because their new family is also just a normal guy & theyre gonna hurt to lose him some day. ANYWAYS.

MISC stuff I like-

The difference in how Nicky and Joe hug Andy.

Everything about this scene tbh. I just wanna see these types of scenes from now on. Silly lil guy moments.

Also Andys baklava addiction. Baklava is one of those things Ive always wanted to try... like boba and churros... ONE OF THESE DAYS.

This sick ass take down. Actually all the fight scenes were pretty sick. I like seeing them fight baddies all together... ODA TAKES NOTES. Also... full offense to guns but seeing Andy Nicky and Joe wield their old-school weapons is so much cooler... who brings a knife (labrys, long sword, scimitar) to a gun fight? THE COOLEST PEOPLE. THATS WHO.

Joe spitting out a bullet that he got shot in the face with.

'Shes just a baby!' (me with the whole team) Also TBF to Andy... Nile has such a cute baby face.

The development of Andy and Niles relationship. THO TBH I was bothered about Nile getting shot in the head because the exit wound woulda fucked her braids up.... I had a hard time focusing cuz I couldnt let that fact go lmao... It was driving me nuts...

The girls are fighting! (gone sexy)

Eepy not-boyfriends

Ancient head bonks of desperate affection. I hope all three of them head bonk Nile in the next movie. If this doesnt happen... im killing everyone in this room (its just me) and them myself.

This silly bitch in this moment.

Joes 'Hes not my boyfriend' speech. Incurable romantic indeed.

Honestly the soldiers tryin to insult Joe by mockingly asking if Nicky was his boyfriend and getting way more than they bargained for was fucking funny.

I just wish we coulda seen the faces of the guy driving the van as he heard the massacre in the back LMAO. Just keep drivin bud... aint nothin you can do about your boys in the back.

Immortal not-boyfriends gettin silly!

This is a nice plane! Theres a TV Joe!

lmao. The sillies.

Andy and Nile continuing to make me ship them.

Reunited and it feels so.... something but they were fighting together and it was real cool.

THEMB.

'You shot Nicky... you shouldnt have done that....'

Joe- Im a silly lil guy but (suplexes a man and breaks his neck)

Whyd he look so devastated after?

She wont jump out of a plane... but....

You betray Miette? You betray her like the bastard? Oh! OH! BANISHMENT FOR 100 YEARS!

Joe lookin at Booker the whole time... :c

[starryknight-dragonarts]

Vicious Mockery

Here are some examples I have come up with and collected for the D&D spell Vicious Mockery. For those who are not D&D nerds like me, vicious mockery is a spell where you roast your enemy with insults and it causes them actual mental damage! You can insult somebody till their head actually explodes! Sometimes it can be hard to come up with a roast on the fly, they are usually better when they fit the situation but here are some examples that could start you off.

“By the way is your Boyfriend Single. He should be.”

“I would be afraid to do your husband. I’m more woman than you and all 4 of his current mistresses combined”

“In order to learn something you would first have to listen to something other than the cavernous sounds of your own ignorance”

“You are so ugly, that if somebody painted your picture you wouldn’t need a nail or hammer to hang it, the Picture would hang itself for looking like you.”

“Do you use your right hand or your left hand to wipe your ass? Because I use Toilet paper!”

“Of the 4 men your wife is currently fucking, are you one of the side hoes or the idiot who doesn’t know about the others?”

“One day you will have to face whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe and you’ll have to justify being a complete waste of space.”

“If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless!”

“I’d like to have an intelligent conversation, so please stop talking.”

“You’re not worth me taking the time to come up with another quip. You’re just another dumb minion.”

“The day you were born, neither of your parents showed up!”

“Your mother is a whore, which is much more successful and respectable than anything you have done with your life.”

“I would try to see things from your point of view but I would never be able to fit my head up my ass.”

“Which hurts more, thinking or seeing your own reflection.”

“Do you know the difference between your face and your ass? Neither do I!”

“You couldn’t even cast a Shadow.”

“I wrote you a poem. Roses are Red, Violence is too. No one here is afraid of you.”

“You seem ill equip for battle, of martial or of wit.”

“You could have asked my permission before showing me something so hideously disgusting.”

“I guess combat is over since there are no significant threats left”

“Was that stick always up your rear, or was it a failed attempt to pleasure yourself.”

“You look like something your father shat out.”

“The last thing you vanquished was your mother’s respect.”

“I need to know, is your head only for decoration? I think you need to get yours replaced.”

“Sorry to interrupt your evil monologue, hold on…what was your name again?”

“You could not pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.”

“Go back to the sewers and be among the shit where you belong.”

“I know you are an assassin but I didn’t know you were hired to kill fashion.”

“This fight will last longer than you do in bed.”

“S’cuse me, I would like to talk to the real boss, cause I know this operation wasn’t cooked up by somebody who’s IQ is below Room Temperature.”

“You have three active braincells but lost one and the other two are still trying to find it.”

“As an outsider what’s you perspective on intelligence”

“You make it really difficult to underestimate you”

“You don’t need beauty sleep, you need a coma.”

“Your family tree is a cactus cause you’re all pricks”

“You’re not a complete idiot, some parts are missing”

“You are non of your best friend’s best friend.”

“Your Mother was a Hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries”

“Your body is a Temple to an Idiot God!”

“I’m glad you're tall...It means there's more of you I can despise!”

“Ugh. What the hell is that all over your face? Oh...its just your face!”

“I swear, if you were any worse at this, you'd be doing our job for us!”

“Some day you'll meet a doppelganger of yourself and be disappointed!”

“Are you always stupid, or are you making a special effort today!”

“Some day you'll go far and I hope you stay there!”

“I’d like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!”

“I would insult you, but your very existance is the greatest insult to all”

“I’d insult your parents, but you probably don't know who they are!”

“I’ve met Wheels of Cheese sharper than you”

“I see some small village is missing its idiot”

“Tell me, did you run away from your parents, or did they run away from you!”

“I expected you to be taller”

“If I paid for 20 idiots and all I got was you, I’d still have gotten my money’s worth.”

“If you were any dumber, you’d need instructions to breathe.”

“I’d fight you with my pocket knife, but I think it would give you length envy”

“If I had a copper piece for every time someone complimented your face, I’d be in debt.”

“I thought this was a battle, not a comedy show.”

“Will you hit me already, you are boring me. You are boring.”

"Congratulations! You're a failure."

"I didn't cast Feeblemind yet."

“If ever there was a wise decision you were to make in your entire life, you’d fall to your knees right now and beg for mercy.”

“In a land of the stupid, you are crowned king.”

“You are about to eat more shit than the last person in the human centipede.”

“Ooh, I'm a ghost! I get to moan all day and whine about how sucky my life was!”

“Only a God could have meticulously crafted every detail about you so intricately to be this much of a pathetic loser.”

“In the battlefield or the bedroom, this won't take long"

"All powerful yet you hide from me in the shadows"

"Surrounded by ghouls and zombies yet you're the most hideous thing I've seen"

"Which god's teet are you latched to these days?"

“Pardon me my good Bitch. Do you see all the fucks I give?”

“I’ve seen better asses on the donkey ranch!"

“I cant decide if your a criminal or an orphan.....but then again, a criminal is actually WANTED”

"Not even Hells outhouse can make you into Hot Shit!"

"You look like the type of person who would have 1-2-3-4-5 as the combination on your luggage."

[thoughtssvt]

Far Beyond Eternity

cw : sad topics, negative thoughts, mentions of death, comfort

It'd been a while since something good happened to Suguru. It was about time he started wondering when it would end like all the good things in his life

wc : 850

A/N: nothing really happens that's sad, suguru just thinks sad things and satoru is there to comfort him! this is a happy piece I swear! not proof read tho, oops. sorry for any mistakes!

It wasn’t their first time sneaking out after curfew. It was, however, their first time sneaking out after they shared their first kiss. Though, maybe it’s better to say after they became comfortable kissing each other with no restrain. They kissed all the time, annoyed the hell out of Shoko, got scolded countless times by Yaga to have a little self control.

They just couldn’t help it. Especially not now. Not while the moon shone so gently down on them and the breeze was so soft that it slipped beneath their uniforms, kissing their skin and wrapping its arms around them in a comforting hug. Not while Suguru’s rainbow dragon droned a comfortable pur, deep in its chest as it slithered steadily in the air for them. Not when he looked so pretty.

Satoru pulled back in a soft pant, reaching to tuck the dark sliver of hair behind Suguru’s ear, breath hitching at the realization that Suguru was staring at him as hard as he was staring at Suguru.

Suguru’s hands were much more callused than Satoru’s, but he didn’t mind. It still felt good against his cheek, thumb running back and forth against his blush. Satoru was prettier than the moon, Suguru thought. Eyes more captivating than the limitless sky, more precious than the depths of the ocean.

And he loved him.

He loved him.

He loved him in a way Suguru never thought he could be loved.

With his whole heart. So deeply and boundless. And it came for free.

Suguru didn’t have to beg, he didn’t have to give himself up in his entirety. The love between them just became and it engulfed him, filled him up so full that sometimes it was nauseating, but it was his and theirs and it was them.

Sometimes Suguru didn’t know what to do with it. Sometimes he woke up and after the feeling settled that this was actually real he asked himself when it would finally come to an end. Everything must come to an end, right? Even love.

He’d ask himself whose fault it would be. Maybe it would be mutual. Maybe they’d drift apart as the seasons passed. Maybe, just maybe, for them the world would be kind. Maybe their love would end in death. It would be no one’s fault, they wouldn’t decide to close the chapter, the seasons would pass and their love would grow stronger. Only death could break them apart. Though, even that thought terrified him.

He turned his head to look at Satoru where he was now laying next to him, arms crossed and tucked under his head, legs bent, one knee crossed over the other.

“Satoru,” He gulped, “I can’t live without you.” He’d said so suddenly. It had surprise and confusion spreading across Satoru’s face. “Please let me die first.” Suguru rasped, so small and delicate like he didn’t want the world to hear his plans.

For a split second concern knit his brows tightly together. Pain and anxiety spread through Satoru’s chest, but seeing the same feelings on Suguru made his dissipate. He knew Suguru. He knew this wasn’t about anything that was coming any time soon. Suguru was just a worrier and he’d already endured five lifetimes of hurt before meeting Satoru. He knew his boyfriend just needed reassurance. He needed to know that what they had would last. That it wouldn’t end like all the good things that came before.

“I’ll bear that for you because…” Satoru sucked in a deep breath. “Suguru, if we live to be 100… how could I possibly fit all my love for you in 83 years? So you go on ahead– but not too soon, okay? Because there has to be something after this.” Even in his uncertainty he managed a stable smile. “Meeting you has made me believe it.” Satoru sat up, turning to face Suguru completely. Suguru could see the cogs turning in his boyfriend’s head along with a growing type of excitement. Like all their worries would be washed away. If he said this then it’d be set in stone. “I don’t know if we’ll get another lifetime or if we’ll be reincarnated as ice cubes or if we’ll just meet together in whatever paradise is, but i know that my love for you will reach far beyond eternity.” He said it with such sincerity that Suguru would have believed that this was a guarantee after death. Although he trusts his boyfriend with his life this wasn’t something that would go away over night. It did ease the uneasiness, though.

Suguru couldn’t help launching himself at Satoru, cupping his face with two rough, callused hands, pulling him close until their lips intertwined. The wind massaging their scalp, ruffling their hair, reminding them to be wishful children filled with youth. ‘Sneak out in the middle of the night, get scolded for kissing too much, talk about the future of endless possibilities,’ it said as the moon illuminated their hearts. Reassuring them that in darkness it’ll be there to light their path for whatever is to come to them.

[the-whitches-art]

God its been a while. So since the new leaks and season 6 had brought a lot of attention towards My Hero Academia and my past obsession with it is renewed i might as well write some headcanons. And what is better than the clasic relationship headcanons for the todoroki siblings.

Shoto

Relationship with Shoto is a weird experience.

You would have to be the one to propose and even when you do he still wont believe you.

He still sees that bastard of a father in him partially, so dont blame him for not believing you at first.

But after you guys have been together for a while, god help you both. I cannot say who would be more obsessed with the other.

Dinner dates, celebrations, small gifts every small and cheezy thing couples do, you guys do it twice as much.

He loves it when you play with his hair, or massage him. Any kind of gentle and loving physical contact to be honest, since he didn't got much before you.

If you pay attention to his scar, that would be a very intimate moment for him. Tho i cannot say he'd be that much of a sucker for that, he really appreciates the meaning behind the gesture.

Oh and expect to have to explain a lot of stuff to him. Like why some couples to something, but others don't.

He'd have some of a learning cerve when it comes to relationships.

Just dont get i the way of his dream, he'll be heartbroken if you do.

Natsuo

A hard case to write for sinc ewe dint have much information.

He doesn't seem like the guys to go for a hook up in university. So hed either be alone for a while or somehow have that uni dream of finding your dream partner during it.

So to be honest his family is a sensitive topic for him, so no meeting them for a long while.

When you do end up meeting them, hed go one by one, his mother probably first, then Shoto and Fuyumi. Hed keep you away from Endeavor as much as possible.

He does have a bit of anger issues, but he is well aware, so he might storm off once in a while. Then hed return with something as an apology, be it a flower, a chocolate just anything to make up for his outburst.

He's the sweetest though. He wont be as love sick as Shoto, but he would apreciate when you tell him how much you love him. He hasnt heard thay much so it means the word ro him when you do it.

But dont get me wrong he'd know when you lie, or ot isnt sincere.

Fuyumi

We don't kniw much about her except she loves her whole family no matter what shes been through because of them.

She'd look for someone who is just as willing to start a family with her.

She just seems like the person that knew early on that wanted a good and loving family.

She'd want someone with relatively thhe same values as her, so there is less of a chance to end up like her parents.

With her work she is pretty busy, and i guess her partner too. So the ocasional dinner/breakfasts date is so well appreciated.

She definitely makes bento boxes to her partner, every time she gets the chance.

If her partner is a woman her mother will be very supportive (not only for her too), but her father i doubt hell like it. I say that for her specifically because the boys dont care at all what their father will think.

Toya(Dabi)

Honestly good luck being with him, he's a manace. And ton take that as teasing king.

He loves teasing tho, but sometimes he says too much and might end up hurting you if you take stuff to heart.

His goal takes first place, thats a fact and no matter who you are to him it stays that way.

Doubt he can even love you, not in a normal way that is. Its closer to care than love. And to get to that point it would take a while.

But lets say you got lucky, and you get him for yourself. Dont bother being jealous, he has no eyes for anyone else in that way, youre probably his first romantic partner anyway.

I read somewhere that he and his paryner use each other with a lot of trust and a little emotion in the mix. And cannot say that this is anything but true.

He has anger issues, but unlike Natsu he doent show it untill its boiling in him. So unless you are someone that can take shouting well. You better get away as fast as you can. Hed cool down in a few minutes tho.

I think the best way to sgow him live it first is acts of service, show him that you care. Then comes physical touch, once he lets you touch him. For him touching is far more intimate than anything else.

Touch his scars and he will literaly melt in your hands. Unlike for Shoto, his scars are far bigger part of who he is as a person now and what hes been through as well. So i guess it would be like you see him now, but don't disregard his past at the same time.

[uglylittlebug]

IM INTERESTED ABOUT UR AU !!!MEE MEEEEE!!

Tell me everything! Or wait no, let's start slow.

1) how'd u come up with ur au and 2) how is everyones dynamic with each other and splinter!!

U said splints was an asshole so tell me about :))-🫘

RAAAGGHHH!! Alr, shit under the cut

1) I knew I wanted to make my own tmnt iteration, didn't rlly have any huge thots behind my ambition tho lol. I started designing the turtles and then I kept redesigning until I found something I liked (tbh I might change a few things as I go) then came other characters so that was fun. And then I just wrote a shit ton of notes in a shit ton of Google docs, note pads, and sketchbooks. I don't rlly know man, I'm just coming up with stuff as I go along

2) super excited u asked this bc I actually have stuff written down about it lmao

Bro dynamics:

Raph and leo

-they fight a lot, there is a certain misunderstanding between them. They don't seem to see how similar they really are

-eventually they will see it and their bond will grow

-leo doesn't understand why Raph is the leader yet he is the favorite

-raph gets frustrated with Leo but it's out of care for him and his loved ones

Raph and donnie

-they just get each other idk

-raph sometimes hangs out in dons lab and draws

-they both have issues with anger and lashing out but Raph is better at hiding it

-they constantly tell each other to fuck off, shut up, etc but it's always playful

Raph and mikey

-pretty much just rise raph and Mikey, just make Raph more like idk chill

-they like to cook/bake together

-mikey honestly helped Raph with a lot of things he was dealing with mentally

Leo and Donnie

-its a love hate relationship tbh

-obvi they care about each other but they just have a hard time expressing it

-leo doesn't rlly understand Donnie and why he is the way he is. He feels like he's just putting on a show and being way too sensitive about stuff

-eventually he will understand him more

-they dont always agree with each other

-donnie hates how devoted Leo is to splinter

-im not going to go into detail on this rn but there was a situation during training and it did not go well

Leo and mikey

-they fight the least but when they do its something, two dudes who dont have a hard time expressing their opinion but do have a hard time expressing themselves

-they always apologize after (usually) and will watch tv together or something

-will definitely get into some shit if left unattended

Donnie and mikey

-donnie likes his personal space and Mikey likes donnie's personal space

-donnie often lashes out on Mikey, similar to 2012 Donnie. But he apologizes and explains himself after

-mikey always seems fine but he is sort of scared of Donnie when he does lash out. He's seen what he does to himself (Donnie will bang on tables, stomp on his feet, hit himself, scratch or bite himself etc) and he feels dumb for fearing this but he is worried Donnie might hurt him

-donnie likes to ask Mikey a lot of questions for his inventions and stuff, Mikey likes to offer his input so it's like a fun little thing for them

Bros and splinter:

Raph

-2nd fav child

-splinter made him leader since he is the oldest

-splinter puts a lot of pressure on raph since she's the leader and the oldest

-when the turtles were younger Raph was the one taking care of the others. He hates splinter bc of that

-splinter always told Raph that he must protect the others (referring to Donnie and Mikey) because they are "weak" and "unfocused"

-raph knows that it's fucked up but is obviously still going to protect all of her siblings bc he cares about them

Leo

-fav child

-splinter sees the most potential in him bc he is the most focused, skilled, and obedient

-doesnt understand why splinter didn't make him the leader if it is clear that he is the favorite child

-even though he is the fav, he doesn't like splinter anymore than the others

-he knows splinter hurts them (emotionally and physically) but is too scared to lose his position as the favorite if he speaks up

-he feels that if it weren't for him being the favorite the others would be hurt more

Donnie

-is prob the least fav but it is unclear who is between him and mikey

-is ignored for the good things but if he screws up splinter makes sure he feels like a screw up

-things about Donnie that piss splinter off:

-focuses on tech rather than training

-"talks back"

-stims, physically and sometimes verbally

-sensitive to sound, texture, etc

-is clumsy and "constantly" getting hurt or sick

Mikey

-usually goes under the radar with splinter

-mikey is easily distracted while training so that upsets splinter

-mikey tends to cry when he's angry so splinter never takes him seriously bc he is "showing weakness"

I think that's all I have for now, ty so much for the ask tho!! I had a lot of fun answering it

[highoncatfood]

cna i hear more of ur thots on suns violent arc? :3

ok so keep in mind tht this is wholly jst my personal interpretation of the song and also ive been in a very similar situation so i might be projecting a bit sometimes . also i might be mixing in some of my already existing interpretaions of laughingfish with it cuz its all one big tangled mess in my mind so srry if it feels like im pulling stuff out of my ass lol . but like whetevr ok here click read more

keywords for my interpretation of this song: sentimentality, loneliness, understanding, comfort, attachment, moving on, hope

the narrator is a deeply broken person. shes been hurt in the past, many times, by many people. she always tried and longed to find a place where she could feel like she belongs, but bcuz of her nature something always seemed to be missing in her, sth that would make it possible for her to fit in. shes been lonely her whole life, keeping all these feelings and the desire to love and be loved inside her, thinking that she wont ever be able to share it with anyone. until one day she met someone, someone maybe jst as broken and lost as her, who finally understood. and theyve been together for years, they grew so close they understood each other like no one else ever could. they became inseparable, so attached and sharing in their struggle of existence. and so even once she realized that what they had wasnt healthy, that it was codependent and unsafe, it was jst simply too hard to let it all go. all ur life u were broken, had no place u belonged. u finally found it and now ur supposed to completely cut off the only person who u felt like finally 'gets u'? u know how much they hurt u, u know how hard uve tried to help them, to fix things between u two and how futile it was, and u know u have to get out of there to feel safe again. and yet it still hurts. bcuz u also know that there were moments of joy and comfort, u know that despite everything they made u feel understood, and it felt good to have had someone who cares and someone to care for, someone u could make smile. uve become so used to their company uve been willing to forgive or look past all their flaws and damaging behaviors for the sake of trying to maintain that comfort of having someone who understands. and even tho u realize how badly they hurt u, u get sentimental abt all the time u two spent together. and so even when u finally leave, there is that feeling of sadness, u might even feel like its a shame that it had to end this way. bcuz even tho ur finally free, u now wonder if there ever will be anyone else who will understand u jst as well as they did, bcuz no one else ever has before. uve gone thru so much conflict during all those years that u cant be sure what it even was that brought the two of u together. all u know is that there is no way to make it work. and so all u can and have to do is leave and have hope for a better life from now on. and even tho u feel all this anger and resentment and pain abt what they did to u, u believe that they can find that better future for themselves as well

(ALSO on a more meta level- its worth mentioning that suns violent arc is one of the songs written in 2022, as rooks bandcamp page says, and in LOSE YOURSELF there is the line 'and the sun comes up in a violent arc / no matter where i go'. LOSE YOURSELF was written and rewritten in between 2022 and 2024. all this to say that i assume theres been alot of change in rooks approach to the whole situation over time and so whtever semi-positive outlook thts present in suns violent arc might be kinda 'outdated' so to speak. since LOSE YOURSELF is very straightforward and seems to hav way more bitter feelings abt the whole thing in it. esp when comparing lyrics such as 'but when youre there / i am someone better' and 'i thought i was becoming a better person'. overall i think the 2 songs r very connected blah blah blah)

HOWEVER there is also another way to interpret it that ive been thinking abt, which is to look at it as current rook talking to the 'other her'. (altho admittedly i have way less coherent thoughts abt that one so bear with me)

in which case it wouldve been more like her finding herself again, realizing that she doesnt have to find anyone else to be able to 'share' all the love inside her. she can channel it into her own self and that can make her feel jst as free and safe. its like realizing that yeah, maybe there isnt anywhere i belong and no one who can understand me, but maybe i dont need that as long as i can learn to love and know myself. to connect with my inner child and live for her and thus be able to live for myself. yeah ive been hurt, and the past cant be changed and the impact of the ppl who hurt me has left its marks on me, but as long as i focus on taking care of myself and letting myself be the real me, all the pain ive been subjected to becomes nothing more than mere background noise. protecting and taking care of ur inner self is what makes u believe u can have a brighter future

….. anndddd ok thats everything i know how to articulate and put into words . THANK U for the ask i have so many thoughts and mixed feelings abt this album but it is. so. so good

edit: btw this is not me at all trying to speculate wht happened to rook etc. jst interpreting the lyrics solely in the context of the rest of the album and occasionally connecting it to laughingfish lyrics. not my business whtever personal irl stuff happened

[cugzarui]

thinking about bens arc so far

starting out with a boy who wants to be a hero, but cant

he gets a powerful device that lets him be a hero, gets a few wins

realizes he can also be a hero without the device. wins some more

gets full of himself. he did it after all. hes a hero. he made it. hes awsome and legendary and doesnt need to worry about anything

gets his ass handed to him and begins to realize he still has a lot more to learn

blows off some steam and has it blow up in his face

on this losing streak he sees there is another way. he doesn't have to listen to other people. he can be a hero the way he wants to be

the guy who showed him the other way turns out to be eeeevvilllll

yet another screw up under his belt. and lets add just one more just for the hell of it. and make this one really hurt.

you feeling sorry for this kid yet? well you're about to feel even sorrier when he decides his family is better off without him. and why wouldn't they be? he keeps screwing up after all.

they come back for him. because the biggest screw up of all, is thinking your family is better off without you (queue audience tears up. but no really the episode sells it really well actually).

with the power of friendship, familial love, and even anime on his side, our fledgling hero saves the day. and just in time too, because plot is on the horizon, and its serious this time.

we are preparing, for the bbeg.

so for real tho

i did say in a previous post that ben 10 is more a compilation of other works, and the tennysons themselves arnt actually all that interesting. and i still stand by that statement, but boy did i pick a bad time to make it.

bens going through what is not only a sort of coming of age story where he learns what it truly means to be a hero, but also a disillusionment story where, he learns, what it truly means, to be, a hero. im still waiting for the point where he forgets his old lessons and has to relearn them; and maybe because this is still the first series (and early first series at that) we still haven't reached that point. this plot is fresh. its new and interesting. im at episode what? 8? 9? and the storys been pretty good so far is all im saying.

this kid thought heros were all about physically perilous situations and beating up bad guys. so when he got the power to handle that he got all excited, and then after he finally got some wins under his belt he got cocky thinking he made it as a hero. but if theres one certainty in life is itll knock you flat on your ass and no matter what kinda super powers youve got youre only really as untouchable as your support network. something which a lot of people - including ben - don't realize before its too late. and when they do realize it, when ben realizes it, it scares him. it pushes him to radical action, and to a change in mindset and not always a good change either. he starts to think being a hero isn't really fun at all. then he realizes that even if it isnt fun, its still something that needs to be done regardless, even at great cost to himself, because hes the one who has to do it. thats a lot of growing up for a ten year old to do in a summer.

good thing hes wrong

yes heroing isn't really about fun and games. it's something you do not because you want to do it but because it needs doing. but that doesn't mean it cant be fun anyway, or that you have to go it alone. just because you sometimes have to sacrifice yourself, doesn't mean you dont also get to be selfish. and ben learns this sooner rather than later.

he would've probably learned it even sooner if max was better at explaining it though

i mean its kinda hard to blame max ben did just get them kicked out of a prepaid four star hotel before gwen even got to take a shower. a real shower. for the first time this entire summer. and i know i cant easily just dish out life lessons to youngsters whenever they need to hear them (youd think being an adult meant youre full of wisdom and experience you can whip out at a moments notice but guess that was just me being fooled by the excellent marketing and extra height)

i do gotta say i knew i would sympathize with max a lot more and understand him a lot more on this rewatch since im an adult too now and i was not wrong. imagine prepaying for a fancy and expensive hotel, and the first thing that happens when you get there is your grandkid gets you banned for life and the guard literally throws your suitcase out at you when you leave (what was with that guy anyway?) and not only that you also have to go back to talk to the staff and try to get a refund. i think i might just prefer to crawl under a bed and never come out.

actually, imagine all the show from maxs perspective, because i keep thinking if i was in his shoes what would be the most respectful and realistic way to handle the situation. i feel this man.

but yea he couldve explained it better to ben why using the omnitrix to play a forbidden arcade machine was wrong. he really did say why. its not the fact that ben used the omnitrix selfishly but really how he used it. the manner of selfishness. ben uses the omnitrix to mess with gwen all the time and while thats not the nicest of him its fine if he doesn't go overboard. but when you do something thats likely to have negative consequences on the people around you, thats a problem. and if max had explained that the whole thing with kevin could've probably been avoided honestly.

speaking of kevin

i feel like they really butchered this character.

kevin has a lot of potential. honestly, i think a lot of you would love him (at least if his evilness was a but better directed). hes a homeless kid who, at least the way he sees it, isnt with his parents cuz they didnt want a freak. he does whatever he wants using his awsome powers to get what he needs and wants and fight the people who make his life harder. a real disenfranchised underdog and hes punk to boot. shame hes a heartless murderer.

theres like no reason for it either. its just like. revealed. halfway through the episode. like apparently this kid is just cool with murder. and i dont mean murdering cops or bullies i mean just anybody really. so long as he gets something out of it. they shouldve made him more morally grey. or morally orange. or at least made it so he only started getting crazy after he absorbed energy from aliens or something.

do you ever get the feeling ben 10 is a conservative show? sorry that was a strange thing to ask. they do get a bit better at female characters though. gwen gets to be less of an archetype but mostly just because she gets roped into being a hero in her own right and because shes busy caring about ben. it is an improvement.

we also get more significant female side characters and a female villain who is actually really good. but that episode leaves a sour taste in my mouth because...shes only powerful after fusing with vilgaxes robot, which we already know has all the resilience of wet tissue paper. and yet shes somehow super powerful and unstoppable. just a bit of a nitpick i have. thats driving me mad

it does do a good job of setting up vilgax as a threat though. up to this point vilgax didn't really do anything. he was just there for setup, both plot wise and for jokes. like saying the wielder of the omnitrix must be so strong and cunning and ruthless, cutting to ben who is so...not. (or at least doesn't appear to be). but this episode finally manages to communicate vilgax is an actual threat. punctuating that by having max be scared of him at the very end. that was a nice touch.

[aesthetic-day-dream]

I totally understand what you're saying. May I suggest you focus more on building up your confidence and healthy habits instead of focus soley on your weight. Its hard don't get me wrong but it's so worth it. I'm on a weightloss journey too after being overweight my entire life and ive been on and off the wagon a lot, fell into disordered restricting eating habits and such but I finally started to be able to have this mindset of "i'm beautiful regardless of my weight" and its been much easier to stay consistent with my workouts, not feel bad for when I maintain etc etc.

I also suggest following or curating your feeds to people with similar body types like yours. Listen these alpha male andrew tate ass kissers and anti body positivity losers dont know shit. Don't let them w their stupid short vids hurt your feelings. These losers don't care if you're healthy even tho they claim they do. Literally saw one of these assholes comment under an anorexia recovery post saying he preferred the malnurished version of her body💀 people that care so much about your weight and treat you with less respect if you are bigger are NOT people worth your time or even knowing.

Body neutrality is also something you can look into! You will be absolutely fine i'm sure of it! Stay strong! Ily

Also some yt channels that can perhaps help.

Growwithjo (workouts varying impacts)

Valerie lin ( creativity and inspo)

Keltie o connor (lifestyle habits and inspo)

Growinganannas (workouts + balanced lifestyle)

Monikafit and yanafit (also workouts but very doable!)

Thank you!! I know it’s going to take a long time for me to reverse my way of thinking and how I treat myself. Truthfully I’m already doing WAY better than I was a few years ago. It’s just hard sometimes to face the truth. Thank you for the lovely message and the recommendations, I’ll definitely be looking into those. I hope you have a lovely day! ❤️