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melody-ofstars · 3 years ago

Note

OKAY HERE GOES NOTHING (ALSO DW I WONT ASK U IF SOMEONE LAYING ON U WILL RESULT IN SUFFOCATION NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT THAT CONCERN WAS)

bnha! okay so u prettyyy much know all this but I'll do it for the sake of something idk

15, she/they (demigirl) andddd i like all genders i don't discriminate :D also I'm ace and u already know that

anyways my personalityyyyyyyyty

AAA okayyy so i tried to do a personality 180 a few days back irdk who i am anymore ;-; but but but I'll still try because ily

I'll say I'm an extrovert?? but i also cant make the first move in friendships because im just awkward like that! i need someone to introduce me to people or for them to approach me to befriend em! anyways! i like to think im funny! ah i forgot THE MAIN THING!! im dirty minded as fuck 😭😭 except im ace and it makes no sense to people! but yk that already did i really need to mention that? also I'll fuck my sleep schedule up for my friends because im just like that!

as for what i likeee,,, i like listening to Musicccc!!! my music only stops when im studying and need to concentrate so there's thatt! also i like analysing song lyrics!!! and poemss!! oh and I like green tea (without lemon because lemon makes it taste so bad ughhhh)

as for what i dislike I'll say i hateee my anger issues cuz like anger gives me anxiety but i also got anger issues ;-; also i hate the hate because hate is sooo pointless i mean why hate when u can just sleepp???? (just gonna pretend i dont hate people sometimes,,,, im working on it 😭😭😭)

im not loved enough to realise dafuq my love languagee issss but I'll say i like hugs!!!

idk if i overshared or undershared but this is this have fun doing ur writer magic and if u overwork urself im gonna fucking kill u :D

I won't overwork myself broski, don't worry about it and uh stay hydrated you lemur.

I match you with...

☽︎ Mineta Minoru ☾︎ (you should know better than to interrupt me writing cute moments with your reality)

HAHAHAHAHHAAH PRANKED YOU!!! THAT WAS A FAKE.MATCH BUT ANYWAY, YOU REALLY INTERRUPTED A REALLY CUTE IMAGINATION OF MINE WITH YOUR STUPIDNESS, anyway

I match you with...

☽︎ Ashido Mina ☾︎

Yup, broski she is the perfect match for you and you better not ruin your chances with her because of your technicality, or I will pair you with eyeless potato.

So we all know that Mina is a QUEEN and she needs a peasant, which is you. Just kidding, but yeah Mina is a queen and you are supposed to make sure she knows it!

She is amazing and cheerful and the person who would definitely approach first, ending your problem of having to make the first move.

She respects you for being an ace and will definitely try her best to make you comfortable and will never force you to do anything.

You both are very similar like, you both have outgoing nature you both have a dirty mind (according to me, Mina does have a dirty mind) and joke around together, you both love making friends and you both would do anything for your friends, hence you two are pretty compatible.

I just know that Mina will make green tea for you whenever you are sad or tired or whenever you need to be calm, she will make green tea for you because she cares and she is a QUEEN.

She LOVES HUGS, yeah, she loves to hug people and you can't fight me, and you like hugs too so, you know... A person who likes to hug + Person who likes to be hugged= LOTS OF HUGS

You both love to cuddle and watch sappy movies together while you both are crying and making fun of it at the same time.

She makes sure to keep you away from angry people knowing that they scare you, (I am looking at you Katsu.)

You losten to new songs and when you like any of the lyrics or they remind you of her, you send it to her immediately and save it in your notes, because it might be handy later.

You keep comparing Mina to the lyrics of any song you hear, because frankly she is pretty much a person who poole would write a song about.

I think that she sometimes get insecure about her appearance but you never let her feel that way for long, you always tell her that she is beautiful from inside and out and that you love her eyes, hair, and skin

You sighed as you watched Mina goofing around with Jiro and Hagakure.

It has been year since you realised that you had feelings for her... Your Best Friend...

If it was in your hands, you would have gotten rid of these feelings a long while ago but unfortunately, it wasn't, so here you were... Stuck in a situation that had no solution except for waiting and burying it deep inside.

You remembered the first time you had felt this way about her, it wasn't all of a sudden but rather slowly and gradually,

It was because of her making sure that nobody around you was aggressive, her being there for you when you needed her, no matter what time. Her being there, her laughing at the jokes that you made that weren't even funny. Her knowing everything about you and making sure that you are included, her being there for you during the panic attacks...

Her bringing extra pair of globes and caps because you always seemed to lose them times when you both played weird video games together, laughing and screaming at the fun and horror ones... And when you both hung out on the beach during sunsets and having snowball fights, making snowmen...

All these little things slowly added up and it was then when she held your hand to take you towards something that she liked, that you realized that you had fallen completely and utterly for her...

So now you were here, back in the room with Mina, Jirou and Hagakure by your side, who were constantly laughing and watching the movie, cuddled in together.

It was a beautiful weather, it was snowing outside and you all were huddled together in a few blankets with coffee and pastries.

"You know what!? This movie is boring me... Let's go for a walk and from there we can part ways!!" Mina suggested,

You all agreed with her and decided to head out, wearing your coats and jackets.

Shortly after you left the place, it began snowing and it was beautiful. The whole place was covered with a beautiful white layer, and the decorations for christmas were already beginning to start.

"Aahh y/n look!! It looks so great!!" Mina said as she excitedly jumped around, looking at the lights.

You did not hear her as you were busy watching her,

"Y/n chan??" She asked,

"Oh right, it is beautiful..." You replied, and she smiled,

You looked down at your hands that were freezing because you had forgotten your gloves, yet again.

"I knew it." Mina exclaimed as she looked through her bag, trying to find something.

She then handed you a pair of gloves with a smile on her face.

"Y/n chan, you always forget..." She said, a small smile etched on her face.

"Sorry..." You replied, not looking at her.

"It's oka—" She was saying when Jiro's voice interrupted,

"Y/n chan? Can you help with this?" She asked, buying hot chocolate from the vendor.

"Are you ever gonna tell her?" She asked as you walked upto her.

"Huh?"

"Oh you know what I mean..."

"No..."

"When are you confessing your feelings for her??" She finally asked,

"What feelings?" You asked back,

"Y/n chan, I love you and all but sometimes I really want to pull my hair and run away." She said,

"I don't, I can't... I don't want to ruin our friendship..." You said and took the hot chocolate from the vendor.

"Are you planning to like her from the shadow always?" She asked,

"No but... I don't wanna make things awkward between us or do anything that can jeopardize our friendship..."

"Y/n chan, this is Mina we are talking about here... She won't let things get awkward or in the way of your friendship." Jiro reassured,

You took a deep breath, nodding at her words, she was right, it is Mina that you are talking about...

You smiled at Jiro and took one hot chocolate for Mina, who was busy kicking stones.

"Mina chan, here." You said, handing her the cup.

"This smells so good!!" She exclaimed, taking a quick sip and burning her tongue.

"Be careful." You warned, taking a sip of yours.

"Y/n chan, what— Oh my god!! It's snowing!!!" She excitedly said, as she looked around her.

It was indeed snowing, the dirty layer of snow was slowly getting covered by the fresh and soft snow that was falling,

"Oh my god, Y/n chan!! It's snowflakes!!!" Mina yelled as she closely examined a flake on her glove.

You looked up towards the sky, with your hands outstretched and a smile on your face. Snowflakes were one of the many reasons why you loved winter,

"Y/n chan... You look so happy and beautiful..." Mina said,

You smiled at her and thanked her.

"Actually, there's something I need to tell you..." She quickly said and you started feeling scared...

"Everything okay, Mina chan?" You asked her worriedly as you discarded the empty cups in the dustbin.

"Oh yeah... Its just that... I like you" she said, looking away.

"I like you too Mina chan..." You said,

"No, not as a friend..." She mumbled, looking down at her hands.

Your heart started fluttering in your chest, you were speechless, this was certainly like a dream come true for you. The girl you liked, liked you back...

"Mina chan..." You whispered,

"No, it's okay! It's completely fine if you don't like me like that! No problem!" She said, her hands clamped together nervously,

You smiled, taking a step towards her and unclamping her hands to take them in yours.

"Mina, I like you too, I have for quite a ling time now..." You said, looking at her hands and then up at her.

She stared at you, lips parted and her eyes wide and glistening from the reflection of the snow.

"Really?" She asked you,

"Yeah," you answered with a smile.

She blushed and looked down, the ever so energetic Mina was now just standing there, her hands in yours as you looked at her with a smile.

She then smiled brightly as she looked up, leaning in and pecking your cheek.

You laughed and pulled her into a hug, and she hugged you back as the snow fell around you on the beautiful winter night, while your friends cheered from the side, happy that you both finally confessed.

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gevejsbvdj · 4 years ago

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Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex.

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that.

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE.

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it.

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley?

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me.

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile.

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn.

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck.

Jesus. Okay, moving on.

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t.

Mel couldn’t provide proof either.

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant.

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot.

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to.

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom.

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true.

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that.

Listen to me.

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD.

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture.

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts.

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty?

...I’m gonna let you answer that.

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it...

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out.

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE.

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

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fenharel-babe · 4 years ago

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@ma-serannas-vhenan

Update >:)):

And btw when I was doing the Orzammar part, I looked up who was the better king bc in the beginning of the Orzammar quests, I didn’t pay attention when they said who wanted to be king and what they did and such so,,I was very Worried™️ about choosing the wrong kiNG SO-

AAAAH DHWBDB. I LOVE WYNEE SO MUCH DJWNDB. She’s calling out Alistair for how he was staring at Rose and hOW HE WAS “enraptured” BY HER!! And it started when he asked her why she was smirking and Alistair said how he had a fat cat BUT STILL WYNEE CALLED HIM OUT AND THEN SAID “So what guidance did you find in her swaying hips?” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT DNWNSWB. I love Wynne. I’m gonna load my save back up and see if it happens again bc I LOVE that XD.

WAIT I GOT ANOTHER ALISTAIR BEING AWKWARD!! He literally asked Leliana about her “female-ness” AND WHAT TO DO IF HE THINKS A WOMAN IS SPECIAL AND WANTS TO WOO HER!!! I’m gonna load this until there’s no more Alistair being romantically awkward talks lol.

AWWWW. ALISTAIR BELIEVING ITS OKAY TO BE WEAK SOMETIMES!!! He’s so precious,,I better be able to keep him or I’m gonna cry lol.

Wait a minute,,Did Wynne just say she was 15 20 years ago?? So she’s only 35?? I thought she was like 60 something sbabsb. Unless she’s joking and I just didn’t get it-

AAAH NOO!! I FOUND THE WEREWOLVES BIT WHEN YOU ATTACK THE WOLVES,,,THEY HOWL AND WHIMPER!!! This game breaks my heart with literally the smallest things😭.

IM CRYING HYDRA FNWB. I found this video on YouTube about the companions on Alistair romance and UGHHHH I LOVE THIISSSSS!!!

AAAAH!! ZEVRAN BEING ALL PERSONAL ABOUT THEIR INTIMACY DNWBD. I’m sorry for shouting I just love this djwbdb.

HYDRA!!! A WEREWOLF IS LIKE,,SPEAKING AND ITS A WOMAN NAMED ENYLA AND SHES SAYING HOW I NEED TO GO TO HER HUSBAND AND TELL HIM HOW SHES DEAD AND WITH THE GODS,,I love this game even if it makes me really sad😭.

This oak tree really just said, “Perahps a poets soul is in me... Does that make me a poet tree?” I LOVE YOU OAK TREE!! THANK YOU FOR PUNS!!

NO I HAD TO KILL THE HERMIT!! I wanted to get the acorn and leave him alone,,but I had to kill him or give him Enyla’s scarf and I’m nOT GONNA DO THAT BUT I HAD TO KILL HIM😭. But hey I saved the oak tree I think.

Oh,,so there was this camp and everyone fell asleep bc I kept looking at things and like,,suddenly everyone was DEAD and Wynee was the only one alive (surprisingly since she’s like,,60??) and liKE YO DJWBSB. Scared the crap out of me for a second but hey she survived :))). And I SWEAR WYNNE BETTER NOT DIE >:(((.

Wynne (I keep switching her name bc I forget how it’s spelled like EVERYDAY DHWBS) is just wanting to do her best with the spirit and how it gave her a second chance at life,,,and how if Rose seems to be leading off of her path, Wynne will come back (if she’s dead) and do the old finger wagging like mothers do😭. I love her,,,

OOP,,I FOUND WITHERFANG (I THINK??) AND HMM,,TIME TO SEE IF I CAN GET THE DALISH ON MY SIDE :)))).

Okay so it wasn’t Witherfang but now I’m about to enter the Lair of the Werewolves so he’s most likely here?? And why do I feel a bit bad for the werewolves since they’re just tryna be protected and Ik they’re supposed to be the bad guys buT HNNNG THEYRE JUST PROTECTING THEIR HOME (sorta??) LIKE THE DALISH ARE😭.

Anyways that’s all for tonight >:))). Love youuu( ˘ ³˘)💙. Getting DA 2 between October 15-19. Idk which day it’ll be here but hey I’m still getting it >:)))). Goodnight🥺.

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #dragon age origins #da #dao #da:o #I love this time of the day bc I get to share my ramblings😌. But yES. Excited for DA 2 bc that voice acting for the PC was honestly so sweet #and I’m in love with it lol-

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unreachablevoice · 5 years ago

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Moving In Is What Started It All

Summary:

With Marinette’s parents being away with work, she is left in the care of one of their supposedly family friend; who just so happened to be someone who she has always been idolizing. And throw in the fact that she is having a hard time with friendships experiencing hardships, bridges being burned, and secrets unraveling and her parents unintentionally (plus being clueless with their daughter’s suffering) throwing their daughter in a pit of misery.

Note:

This fanfic will not contain Miraculous. Though, This does still contain the concept and some of the episodes of the show just cut out the parts of Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Previous | Masterlist | AO3

Chapter 8 |Chloé Redemption Arc? (kinda?)|

Adrien's POV

"What are you talking about?" Marinette asks with a chuckle. God, the audacity! I mean, it's obvious that she's just laughing as an attempt to hide her nervousness! What is it that she can't seem to tell me? Does she not trust me?

I reach for her hand. Maybe to comfort her, to comfort me, or both? I'm not sure, all I know is that I want to hold her close. I'm okay even if it's just her hand. I just need to feel some warmth. Her warmth to be precise.

"Last night, you--" I say but am immediately interrupted by the swinging of the kitchen door open, which reveals a newly woken up Nathalie looking at both of us. I didn't even have the chance to hold her hand, my hand is just up here with no place to go!

"Oh," Nathalie exclaims as her eyes caught sight of the dishes that are currently being held at a pause in the sink, widening just a smidge. "It seems that you've already finished with your breakfast, I take it you just need to fix yourselves up and we'll be heading to school now?" she looks at both of us with a bit of confusion in her eyes. I guess the pose that Marinette and I are in right now is a bit weird, all awkward and else.

"And don't worry about the dishes, I'll just call for the housekeepers to finish them for you," Nathalie adds with a small and professional smile, a hand stretched out to the door to usher us out. Like an usherette.

I nod to Nathalie's request but Marinette looks a bit uncertain...? Why though?

"B-But I don't want to be a burden—!"

Ah, so that's why... Really... she's so nice that it kind of hurts.

"It's okay, Miss Marinette." Nathalie smiles at her (a smile that reaches her eyes this time), trying to ease her worry. Well, that's a first. Nathalie rarely smiles like that. She'd usually smile with no feelings, all cold and business-like, nothing more and nothing less (well maybe sometimes her forced smiles would look like a bit of a grimace).

Before she ushers both of Marinette and me to the door and calls some of our housekeepers to finish cleaning the dishes that Marinette left behind and to finish cleaning the kitchen (which I was previously doing, mind you, and I admit... I was NOT doing such a good job at it), I first grab Marinette's arm to make her look at me.

"Let's talk later?" I ask her, my voice pleading and a bit desperate and unsure if she'd want that. I mean, I am kind of putting her in a tight spot and forcing her to talk about something that's obviously making her uncomfortable but... I really want to know what had bothered her so much last night. A downcast look spread through her face and she looked down and away from me, but nodded nonetheless.

I don't want to force her but it really is bothering me too. Whatever it is that's the source of her discomfort, I want to at least make her feel as though she can lean on me; if I can't somehow help her with whatever situation she is in.

Arriving in my room (in to which Nathalie was pushing me to by the way, and I think she also did the same to Marinette), I stood there for a second. Honestly, I kind of wanted to stay and talk with Marinette first before going to school but... Nathalie gave us no room for argument.

I give out a long sigh as I prep myself for school.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I see that all my worrying is taking a toll on me. My face is as white as a sheet and my eyes look like they're ready to pop out of my socket anytime soon; the dark bags under them didn't help either (though they weren't that noticeable unless you look at them closely. Plus, nothing a few brushes of concealer can't fix).

God, I feel like dying.

I felt a twinge of pain in my chest as Marinette's face from last night flashes through my mind. She looked worried—no scratch that. She looked scared. I wonder what made her feel that way...

A sudden knock on the door snaps me out of my trance.

"Are you ready, Adrien?" Nathalie asks from behind it.

Though in actuality: no (and god, am I so stressed), I don't want to keep them waiting so I hurriedly finished and swiftly took my satchel from my bed, opening the door wide enough to see Nathalie fiddling something with her tablet and Marinette waiting for me with a small smile gracing her delicate features.

"Yup, let's go." I smile as I close the door behind me and join them in their step downstairs.

◎◎◎ ◎◎◎ ◎◎◎

The car ride was silent—well, for me anyway. Marinette was discussing with Nathalie some terms about what she'd like to do while she stays with us—mostly about how she won't sit idly and not do anything and not be of some help, at all—and Nathalie compromised with her by leaving the task of making our breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner with her (with occasional help from us of course).

Judging by how she animatedly talks with Nathalie, the negative(???) mood she was formerly in was now gone. Plus, making her come with us to school via car-ride was a bit of a hassle enough since she kept on insisting for her to walls to school instead (Pft–! As if I'd allow that!).

Dropping us off at the entrance, Nathalie looks at us out the window then at her tablet; informing us how I have a small photoshoot session at lunch and that they will come to pick us up at that time.

"Thanks, Nathalie. Thanks, G.", the former nods and Gorilla opens down his window to look at us and grunts.

I wait for them to drive away and get taken aback as they crack a small smile and wave meekly. Although, I'm pretty sure it's not directed at me.

I look down at my left and see Marinette waving at them with a warm, bright smile knitted on her face; whispering a shy "goodbye", loud enough that only us three would be able to hear, as she watches the retreating figure of the car slowly disappear.

Oh god, she's so sweet and so cute! And being able to charm Nathalie and Gorilla with her grace in only a few seconds is proof of that. Not that I ever doubted Marinette's people-pleasing talent for even a second.

I hold my arm out to her and smile, "Shall we?" I ask, in to which Marinette beams in return and hooks her arm to my extended one; humming in affirmation.

We trod the steps up towards the school and went to our classroom. Since it was still pretty early (quarter to 7 being the time), there were only a few students that are loitering around the hallway. Some were talking with their friends about... a redhead? Someone dancing and singing? Performing on a stage? What?

I snap out of my thoughts when I noticed that we have arrived at our classroom and Marinette had already guided me to my seat and is seated on hers. Merde, I really am a handful at times, huh?

I wince as I think about how Marinette would someday get tired of me and think badly of me and she'll never want to be my friend anymore! Then I'll be forever alone with no family and--

"Adrien?"

I snap my head towards the voice that called out to me and see a familiar bespectacled brunette standing at the foot of my table with her hand holding at the strap of her sling bag and the other at her phone (as usual). An amused and questioning look written on her face.

Alya? When did she arrive?

"Morning...?" she asks as the corner of her lips quirks up in amusement.

"Uh, hi, yeah, I--" I stammer as I embarrassingly look for words and stumble with my vocabulary. I must've been paying too much attention to my inner dilemma instead of my surroundings too long to result in Alya making fun of me like that! Ughhhh!

The said brunette snickers at my word-stumbling and looks away somewhere behind me, surprise and excitement immediately lacing her tanned features. She suddenly bolts away and my gaze follows her direction, her mouth curves up in a teasing smile as she slips in her seat next to Marinette and looks at her.

"Girl, you're pretty early today! A sudden change of heart, maybe~?" Alya sings and pokes Marinette's sides teasingly. The girl in question just laughs at her and shakes her head, neither denying nor confirming the question.

Mon Dieu, how can someone's laugh be that melodious? Her giggles fill the room like little trinkets of bells, sweetly producing a little jingle that makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Arghhhh, she's just so cuteeeee!!

"Yo! Morning, dudes and dudettes!" Nino comes in the classroom and waves at us, which is gladly returned with the same enthusiasm.

Nino moves to his seat next to me and looks above us, to the girls, and his face is immediately written in shock (the good kind though).

"Dudette!" he looks at Marinette and his shocked expression is immediately replaced by an amused grin, "Well, you're early. Any special occasion?"

Alya snickers at her boyfriend's harmless and teasing jab to her best friend and is followed by some of the people—including me—that were already there (and I somehow didn't notice when we came in).

"Yeah, it did surprise me when our Little Blueberry here was early—for once." Alix joins in on our little banter and ruffles Marinette's hair. "Even more so when she came in with Adrien," she continues with a smirk and wiggling of her eyebrows, implying something.

Marinette's cheeks redden and she sputters incoherent responses, her hands frantically waving.

"What?!" Alya shouts (in a good way) and shakes Marinette, "What did she mean by that, guuurrlll??!" she whines, feeling a bit betrayed, I think? I don't know why though.

"Stop shaking her Césaire, she looks like she's going to puke." a voice suddenly says in front of us.

Turning towards where the voice came from, lo and behold one Chloé Bourgeois stood there with her hands on her hips and a booming voice that spoke with confidence.

"Well, good morning to you too," Alya responds in a monotone voice and a raise of her eyebrow as if she was asking what and why the blonde was there.

Chloé scoffs and flips her high ponytailed hair to the side, a condescending look on her face.

"I need to talk to Dupa–I mean, Marinette... so move Césaire!" Chloé huffs and glares at the brunette who just looks too stunned to move, even if the look that Chloé was giving can make one shrink.

Since when did Chloé start calling Marinette by her first name? I thought they were still in last-name basis?

The mayor's daughter just rolls her eyes and pushes—more like shoves—Alya aside. I think she did that just to keep a distance between Alya and Marinette? For, I guess, a little privacy? Even if it was just a little space. Alya looked at her incredulously, like how she couldn't believe or she didn't like how Chloé pushed her away from her best friend.

"Hey!" the brunette shouts and shoves Chloé back as soon as the mayor's daughter tried to so much as utter a word, making her fall down on the floor and stare at her, shock and rage evident in both of their eyes. Each competing with who knows what.

Chloé abruptly stands up and stares down at Alya, her eyes in a crazed look and filled with fury. She looks like she wants to rip Alya a new one, "You bit--"

"Guys!" Marinette interjects at the two.

Thank god! I thought a fight between the two bullheaded girls would occur again. That wouldn't be good, I'm sure even the classroom wouldn't be able to handle it and collapse on itself.

"It's okay," she looks at both girls, assuring them with her hands up, like how you'd approach or tame a rabid animal. Which worked (I think?) since Marinette does have that soothing vibe around her. Although Alya still looked a bit furious and ready to pounce on the blonde, Chloé was a bit tamer and had held herself back and ended up just glaring at the bespectacled reporter in front of her and dusting off at her clothes.

Huh... never thought Chloé would be the more docile one.

"Alya," Marinette warns her best friend and immediately the said girl tenses up and looks away, almost ashamed. Marinette sighs and rubs her temples to soothe her upcoming headache, I think. Well, the two are quite a force to be reckoned with so they are also quite the handful.

The classroom grew silent, everyone (I didn't even notice that everyone had already arrived) was watching the scene that the blonde and reporter had started; even some of the students from the other class had stopped for a second in front of the classroom just to watch the (possible) fight that will ensue. The air had a tense atmosphere to it, so thick that you'd hold your breath because it felt quite suffocating.

I mean, I know I look like I'm being a bit dramatic ("well, you kind of ar—OW!") but it's true. Especially if the impending fight is between two of the most headstrong and resolute people in our class and the last fight between them ended up destroying multiple desks—including mine.

Marinette sighs and looks over at Chloé and gestures her to move closer, and which she did. "What is it Chloé?" she asks as an exasperated look takes over her face that screams: I am so done with these two.

Suddenly, a pink hue dusts her cheeks and she turns away. What...? Chloé fumbles for words and it took her a few seconds before she whispers a comprehensible reply. Seriously, WHAT?

"T-Thanks for, um, c-coming over yesterday." she looks down and scratches the back of her head, too embarrassed to even look at Marinette. A scowl is clearly shown on her reddish face yet gratitude and happiness(?) is seen in her eyes. Again, WH--

"What?!" Sabrina shouts at her seat and looks at Marinette and Chloé, then back and forth. "What do you mean 'coming over'? Chloé??????" her voice a bit strained and a questioning look on her face.

Chloé scoffs and looks away with a crossed look, her face becoming even redder, "Pft–! It means nothing! T-That's what," she responds and crosses her arms in front of her.

"But you said you weren't free tomorrow? That's why you said I couldn't come to hang out yesterday, remember??" she asks once more, feeling a bit betrayed. And didn't Chloé dislike Marinette? I mean, she had always tormented Marinette whenever she could so what happened?

Chloé just huffs and still refuses to look her (or anyone actually) in the eyes, face still a bit cherry–colored from embarrassment.

"I guess she didn't want to tell you....?" Marinette cuts in to gently lay the news down to Sabrina, her voice was gentle yet also a bit questioning (I don't know the reason why though) to not make Chloé's lack—best friend feel derided.

"Bu-But! But why?" she asks and looks at the blonde with a pleading and pitiful look, her bottom lip jutted out (I think she did that to make Chloé feel guilty—which kind of didn't work, to be honest).

"Sabrina," Marinette calls her to make the said girl's focus be on her. "Just because you're friends, doesn't mean Chloé has to tell you everything. She can choose what she wants to tell you and what she doesn't. Friends can keep secrets from each other, even those that are the closest." her voice soft and in a schooling, motherly tone.

Sabrina's face first held uncertainty but then slowly morphed into an understanding look. "You're right," she nods and looks down at her lap, "But hearing about it still would've felt nice."

"Maybe you can." Marinette smiles, a sweet and comforting one. "Chloé just must've forgotten to tell you about it, maybe ask her later." she assures Sabrina. Her voice mellow and soft as though she's speaking to a child (in a good way of course).

Sabrina opens her mouth and was about to say something when--

"Sabrina's right!" a sickly sweet—yet obviously forced, and disgusting enough to make me gag—voice had said from the door. Everyone follows the voice and sees Lila with a disgustingly fake concerned face as she pouts. Gross.

She looks at everyone's faces first and basks in the given attention before forwarding in front of Sabrina.

Okay, so this is the last one in my drafts so yeah... this’ll be the ending of ummm MIIWSIA (even though this is unfinished yeah sorry about that) but like as I said here I will be umm rewriting it so yeah don’t be sad *pats your head and gives you a hug*

#ml #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous marinette #miraculous adrien #ml Adrien #ml adrienette #ml adrinette #ml marinette #adrienette #adrinette #marinette x adrien #adrien x marinette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml fanfic #ml fic

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lovixcore · 6 years ago

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May I have this dance? (Amedot fic) (Rewrite)

One-Shot

Summary: 2. We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other (Prompt)

Notes: So back in August, someone requested this for a prompt game. Originally this took over a week, due to brainstorming and being busy with school. I believe I’ve rewritten this two times since, so it went from 800 words (i think) to 1000 to 1700. I also changed the ending, so that’s why it’s way longer. Part of me is proud of it just because it took 2 days to write it and I worked hard on it, but the other part of me kind of hates it because it feels so fast paced and idk. I just don’t like my writing sometimes? lol. Anyways, enjoy.

Word Count: 1846 words

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794496

It was the evening of Steven's fifteenth birthday. August 15th. And of course they were throwing a birthday party for him. It was just the gems, Connie, and Greg. They were all on the dance floor. Connie and Steven were dancing together, unsuprisingly, as Lapis stood off to the side, because she wasn't really a dancer, with Greg, who was djing the music. Garnet, Bismuth, and Pearl were chatting away. And then there Amethyst and Peridot, who were dancing together aswell.

After one song finished, another one started. The mood of the song changed from a fun tone to a more so slow and calm one. It even almost sounded romantic. 'Oh stars.. The dance for this song is slow dancing? Isn't it?' Awhile ago, Peridot's curiousity got the best of her, so she googled what a slow dance was, the definition being 'a type of partner dance in which a couple dances, slowly, swaying to the music, usually done to very slow-beat songs, namely sentimental ballads.' Peridot looked over at the purple quartz, almost like she was now staring at her, with Amethyst awkwardly staring back. Both wondering if the other gem would even want to slow dance with her.

After at least a couple of seconds of just awkwardly standing there, and staring at each other, Amethyst finally spoke up, risking the chance of being rejected, "Peridot.., may I have this dance?"

Peridot hestitantly and slowly put her hand on Amethyst's, now holding it, "O-okay."

Amethyst gently pulled her in, then firmly but also gently, placing her hand onto Peridot's hip. Peridot wrapped her arms around Amethyst, with her right hand locked in with Amethyst's right hand. The rhythm of their bodies slowly danced with sentimental passionate music. Peridot found herself trembling, shaking and quivering, with her cheeks now a light shade of blue, staring at the purple gem's face. Her chest felt a mix of so many things. It felt heavy. It felt tingly. And it felt like something was pounding on it. 'Stop staring at her like that you clod!' Peridot told herself, secretly hoping that Amethyst would never notice how flustered she was. She looked down, so she wouldn't stare at Amethyst, and so it wouldn't be noticeable that she was a mess. She was a mess. She was trembling, blushing, had weird feelings in her chest. After about 30 more seconds of dancing, Peridot finally looked back up at Amethyst. Her breathing became of little depth, and her chest now felt like it was practically racing, and about to burst. Her face was now incredibly close to Amethyst's. She felt her lips inching closer to Amethyst's. She caught herself, and then immediately pulled away.

"I-I got to go..," Peridot stammered, now looking away from Amethyst, completely avoiding eye contact altogether now. She then ran off, disappearing from sight.

Amethyst just stood there, now alone on the dance floor. She was so confused and nearly in disbelief, but also somewhat hurt, with feeling like she had been punched in the gut. She felt incredibly stupid, for ever asking Peridot to slow-dance with her. She face-palmed, frustrated and mad at herself, 'Ugh! I-I really messed up this time.. I should have known she was gonna get super comfortable. I should've known that things were gonna get really awkward. This is my fault.. I should've never asked her to slow-dance.. I mean.. why would she want to slow-dance with me anyways? ..I know I wouldn't want to..' After collecting her thoughts, she ran after Peridot, following her into the beach house, which was pitch dark. It was silent. She turned on the lights, now slowly walking. "...Peridot?" She asked, cautiously. No response. "Peri.. is.. is everything okay..?" 'She has to be in the bathroom..' And so she was. Just sitting there, by herself, hiding her face in her knees, almost like she was curled up in a ball. "Oh man.. Peridot..," She sighed, "Per.. I'm sorry.. I-I should've never asked you to slow dance.."

After a few seconds, Peridot finally said something. "You asking me to slow-dance was not the issue," She said quietly, with a muffled sound.

"Oh? Then.. what's wrong, P-Dot? Did I.. did I do something back out on the dance floor to upset you?" Amethyst asked, now confused.

"No no.. You weren't the problem, Amethyst. You did nothing wrong," Peridot said. She then looked up at Amethyst, her cheeks now a light shade of blue. She sighed, "I'm just.. incredibly embarrased.. That's all.."

“Embarrassed? Wait. Why?” Amethyst asked.

"Because!" Peridot bursted out in frustration. She was mad. She was mad that she ran off like that, she was mad that she couldn't even slow-dance with Amethyst without embarrassing herself, she was mad. "Ergh!" She then paused, taking a deep breath to calmly collect herself. "Amethyst, it's not that I didn't want to slow dance with you.. Because frankly, I did. I did want to slow dance with you. And if I didn't want to.. I would have said so. But... I kept staring at you, and I was trembling, and blushing. Frankly, I was just a mess. And it was just very.. embarrassing."

"Ohh.. right..," Amethyst mumbled. "..Is it.. Is it because you don't like it when I touch ya or whatever? 'Cuz I've noticed that ya've gotten super uncomfortable whenever I do touch you, and I - uh - can back off if ya want me to. Y'know? If I'm ever making ya uncomfortable, just say so."

"No! That is not what I meant! ..Amethyst, I do like it when we touch.. A lot! ..Almost too much.. But I hate the way it makes me feel when we touch.. because whenever you do touch me, I just - freeze up, or blush, or tremble, or all of the above.. because I like you so much..," Peridot rambled. "And I know you've noticed. That's why I ran off.. because I was so embarrassed of you noticing how flustered I was.."

"Ughhhh.... Peridot..," Amethyst groaned.

"W-what? Did I say something wrong?" Peridot asked, now confused, but also worried that she might of done something to upset Amethyst.

"You're not the only one who becomes a complete mess.. You make me feel so mushy! Like. All. The time." Amethyst divulged, now blushing herself. "It's lame. Right?" She sighed, and then crossed her arms, "I really hate that I love the way you make me feel.."

Peridot weakly, and gently smiled at Amethyst, now smiling even more now, "I'm glad that you feel the same way.."

"Good..," Amethyst smiled back. She came over and held her hand out, "So.. you want help out of the tub?"

"Yes please.."

"Okay.." Peridot slipped her fingers into Amethyst's palm, grabbing onto her, as Amethyst helped her up. She then stepped out of the tub, her fingers still laced through Amethyst's. "So, what if I held your hand?"

"Like how you're holding it right now?" Peridot asked, as she lightly squeezed Amethyst's hand.

"Yeah.."

"It feels.. nice..," Peridot answered. To her, even the brush of Amethyst's thumb against her palm felt amazing, and lit her up inside. "But, at the same time I feel.. nervous.. But it's okay because I like holding your hand."

"So.. what if I kissed your hand?" Amethyst asked. "Would that be okay?"

"Yes."

Amethyst lifted Peridot's hand, the one that she was holding, up to the level of her lips, and then gently kissed it.

Peridot's cheeks turned a light shade of blue, now overwhelmed with the feeling of butterflies swirling in her stomach, and the feeling of her cheeks burning.

"Was that okay?" Amethyst asked.

"Yes.."

"You sure?" Amethyst asked. "Because, I don't wanna pressure ya into doing this stuff if it's making you feel uncomfortable."

"Amethyst.. it's okay..," Peridot reassured her, squeezing the nervous gem's hand to let her know that everything was okay. And then they started staring at each other again, which was common for them. Amethyst was just so pretty. Her long, thick, and messy pale lavender hair, her little nose, her plump lips, her eyes, and her body. It was hard not to stare at her because of how pretty she found her. "So, what if you kissed me?" Peridot asked, from a sudden impulse.

Amethyst's eyes widened, now surprised, "You want me to kiss you?"

"Yes..? Is that bad..?" Peridot asked.

"No, dude, not at all. I guess it's just surprising.."

"Amethyst, out on the dance floor, I tried to kiss you," Peridot admitted. "How is it surprising that I want to kiss you?"

"Wait, what? You actually tried to kiss me?" Amethyst asked, now even more surprised then she was before.

"Yes.. I did. That's also why I ran off.. I nearly kissed you, and I thought that you wouldn't want the same, so I didn't want overstep an boundary."

"Of course I want to kiss you, Peridot!" Amethyst exclaimed, now blushing herself.

"You do?" Peridot asked. Now it was Peridot's turn to be surprised.

"Yes, I do. For so long, I've wanted to kiss you, badly.. But I was never able to because I was scared of messing things up, and I also thought that you wouldn't want the same."

Now feeling brave, Peridot got closer, now stroking Amethyst's palm with her thumb, "Well.. nothing's stopping you from doing so now."

Amethyst gave her a soft but also flirtatious smile. As Amethyst's face inched closer to hers, Peridot's chest started to race, faster and faster. She could then feel herself getting closer to Amethyst, feeling her breath against her face, and seeing how dark Amethyst's cheeks were. And then it happened, she was the one who initiated the kiss, the one who gently placed her lips on the other gem's lips, giving into the urge of kissing her. . She wrapped her arms around Amethyst's neck, as Amethyst grabbed her waist, kissing her back, which deepened the kiss, stealing Peridot's breath. Then they let go, heavily breathing, giving themselves a few seconds, but then their lips met, again, and again, and again. She then looked at the purple gem, who looked blown away, entranced, head over heels.

"Holy smokes..," Peridot stammered, blown away by their first kiss.

They let go of each other.

"So.. how do you feel now?" Amethyst asked.

"I feel so many things.. warm, fuzzy, tingly, longing for more, like my chest is racing," Peridot listed.

"Heh, I feel the same.. And yeah, kissing is addictive."

"Yeah, it is."

"Soo, do you wanna go back outside now? I mean, we don't have to butttt.. I'm pret-ty sure that the others have probably noticed that we're gone by now, and are probably wondering what's up.. Heh, maybe they assumed we ran off to make out," Amethyst rambled. Peridot blushed out of slight embarrassment. "Except.. we kind of did. But anyways, I'm rambling.. so..?"

"Yeah, you're right, we probably should go back out there," Peridot agreed.

Amethyst then slipped her hand into Peridot's, "Is this... alright?"

"It's.. perfect," Peridot smiled. Amethyst smiled back, kissing Peridot's cheek, and then they walked back out together, holding hands.

#amedot #perithyst #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #evie writes

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stories-forthe-void · 6 years ago

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Just a New Year’s Fling? ~ Han Jisung Ch. 1

genre: fluff, highschool au, angst?

pairings: jisung x reader

warnings: intense storms?

word count:2 602

a/n: first series time! (unless you count that chan fantasy au) also fun fact: totally not based on something that happened to me over new year.

AO3

The little shit. He really did it. He really pulled a Neville Longbottom on me. You hadn't seen Jisung since exactly a year ago on this very beach. How the hell does someone grow a head taller, lose all their baby fat and just majestically get really freaking good looking in the span of a fluffing year! I should talk to him, he may have been annoying last year but maybe Grade 11 changed him. Come on Y/N you have to spend all of this week including new years with him. JUST SPEAK FOR GOD’S SAKE! ”Y/N you remember Jisung and his parents right?” your mother nudged you and brought you out of your thoughts. ”Yes of course” you gave Mr. and Mrs. Han a hug but felt way too awkward to go up to Jisung so decided on the classic awkward hand wave as a small ”hi” escaped your lips. Sundowners were a must whenever you went down the coast (which was literally twice every year, to the same fluffing beach since you were literally a baby(do mothers not realize that some people don't like sand!)and so there you were stuck in a conversation about your older brother, Woojin’s, travels. Every so often you'd stare at him, just to make sure your eyes hadn't been messing with you and literally every time you tried to catch one look, he would lock eyes with you and you'd quickly look away, feeling your cheeks heat up.

And so your torture continued until the sunset and you went your separate ways. The minute you got home you opened your phone. Y/N: Seungmin help ㅠㅠㅠ Minnie: what did you do this time you idiot Y/N: hey I came for advice, not this sass young man! Minnie: you’re like six days older than I shush

Y/N: ok but like I actually need help, call?

Minnie: ugh ok but you owe me an hour of anime ~Hajima haji haji haji hajima~ “Goddammit, why is that still my ringtone, hello? Seungmin?” “Yes hello idiot, what’s wrong, I was watching my hero academia!” “It’s Jisung” “Omg what did that little shit do to you, I swear to all things holy l will hurt him if he did anything to you” “Calm your weeb ass down Minnie” “Ok ok, so what happened” “HE JUNGKOOKED ME, HE NEVILLE LONGBOTTOMED, HE BAMBAMED, HE GOT HOT” “Wait what, you can’t be serious” “I’m serious” “Ok so do you know what you’re gonna do about it” “I don’t know, I don’t even know if I’m over Hyunjin yet” “Well this is the perfect opportunity to forget about that douche and find yourself a New Year’s fling, it’s not like you’re going to see him again, it’s not as if any of your friends are gonna invite him to the matric dance” “Ok you’ve got a point and this beach is gonna get real boring real quick” That wasn’t the end of your conversation with Seungmin though, you guys went on for like 2 hours discussing how you were gonna play this. The plan was simple, you would sit next to him on the beach every day like your families usually did (thank god Minho, one of his friends, would be there otherwise you would have died of awkwardness).

Well, that was the plan, a very good plan, A+. Well, clearly the gods didn’t want it like that! On the first day, your parents decided that they would sit on the opposite side of the beach! But all was not lost you still had a whole week.

“Y/N wake up you last ass!” Woojin hit you with a pillow, “Mom and Dad went out for a run and the power is out from the storm last night, we can’t even make coffee.” Good god, it was going to be a long day, power outages down here could last anyway from an hour to a whole day!

“Ughhhh why wake up if there’s no power!” You groaned and pulled your covers over you. Woojin just sat on your legs and started bouncing up and down like a toddler.

“Y/N get up so you can keep me company” he hit you with a pillow again.

“Woojin in what world do I come out of my room to talk to anyone, I have Got7 and data I don’t need your college student ass complaining about how expensive lettuce is!” You opened your phone, 18%. “WHY DO I NEVER CHARGE YOU! Looks like you have company, after all, come on let’s go set the table for when they get back.”

Once your parents got back you decided to go to the mall and get some coffee and do a quick grocery run. The power had come back at around 3 in the afternoon and you had spent the rest of the day playing cards as it had been to too cold to go down to the beach.

But the plan was not totally lost yet. Jisung’s parents had invited you and Minho’s families over for dinner that night, but of course, this was the day your stomach decided it was gonna be a little shit and feel terrible, probably dodgy mall coffee, so you decided to stay home. Home was boring. No WiFi. No board games. No data left (so you would’ve had to deal with Woojin either way) on your phone and nothing to watch on TV. You ended up just blasting G-Dragon in your room to try and block out the storm outside. You hated storms, no not hate, you were terrified of them, luckily it hadn’t gotten too hectic yet so you managed to relax and try and get some sleep. That was until you heard a tiny knock on your door. It scared the shit out of you and you quickly turned off the music.

“Y/N are you in there?” Oh, my Park Jinyoung, his voice broke, what do I do! “Y/N I know that’s you, no one else I know plays super star so loudly.” Omg, he remembered! How does this boy own all of my ouws in point two seconds?! “Y/N I’m coming in.” He opened the door slowly, luckily you hadn’t changed into comfortable clothes yet so you looked normal.

“Hi” wtf was that voice crack y/n!!!! “Ugh I’m sorry I sound like such shit, I’ve been screaming/singing for like the past few hours haha.” That is the most bullshit excuse I have ever heard you, idiot!

“Understandable, it’s really boring here isn’t it.” His voice aksjahaja I’m gonna die!

“Yeah I’ve had nothing to do since we got here, omg please come sit this feels awkward, also not to sound rude but why are you here?”

Ugh I’m so awkward

#stray k #sk #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #han jisung #jisung scenarios #jisungfic #jisung fluff #jisung fic #jisung au #jisung angst #jisung #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop au #my fics

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storytimecatb · 8 years ago

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Another request done. -- "Woaaaah! What the actual fuck man." The whole front of your shirt was covered in a sticky brown substance "I'm so sorry, nice accent where you from?" He has dabbing the front of your shirt with napkins from the bar that were leaving bits of itself behind. You grabbed his hand to stop him "Its okay! Just stop, please." He immediately stopped and saw the horrified look on your face. "I really am sorry.." you felt bad for raising your voice "It's okay, I'm sorry for yelling." The bartender was kind enough to give you a towel "Is there anything I can do to make it better? My names Bob by the way.." You stopped cleaning your shirt to take a look at the guy. His hair was full of curls and he had a pair of glasses on, he had kind eyes and it made you feel really bad for yelling. "No I'm serious it's fine. I'm y/n." You put a reassuring hand on his forearm, and his eyes lit back up. "How about dinner? On me." Your friend Amy was standing beside you quietly, while you handled the situation. "Do I really wanna go on a date with a guy I just met who also happens to have spilled.." you got a whiff of the liquid on your shirt "..whiskey and Coke!" His face dropped and he timidly answered back "I didn't say it was a date...." you gave him a glare, then started laughing "I'm fucking with you. Lighten up. Don't seem so.. scared." He nervously laughed "So, is that a yes?" You finished the drink Amy got you "Yeah, you seem like a good guy.. why not?" The two of you exchanged numbers and you carried on with your night. Every now and then when you were on the dance floor you would catch him watching you, then he would pretend to look away. He did it again but this time he didn't look away, he stared directly at you with "fuck me" eyes. He staggered over "Care if I dance with you?" The both of you were wasted and dancing together. "Y/n! I'm going home now are you coming?" Amy was screaming but you could barely hear her. One of Bobs friends walked over, he had bright blue eyes "Its okay, I'll make sure she's alright." He was completely sober and seemed like a decent guy. "Call me in the morning, Y/N!" You waved over "yeah I will!" Bob had his hands all over your waist. It felt like you blinked and the next thing you know you were in the back of a car between the blue eyed boy and Bob "woah.. where are we going?" They both gave you a confused look "y/n, we just had this conversation. We're crashing at Bob's. You guys have the room and I'm in the spare room." You shook your head in shock "Whaaaat...Okay... alright then, I'm not having sex with anyone though. Got it?" You turned your head toward Bob. He nodded and laughed. When the driver pulled over Van nudged you and Bob had to carry you in on his back. You remember being cold then being tucked in under warm blankets. The next morning was awful, you were more hungover than you have been in your life. You were glad the lighting in the room was so dim, but you had to take a look around to figure out where you were. You sat up quickly and looked beside you "Morning gorgeous." "OMG!!" Bob sat up "Are you okay?" You buried your face in your hands "Did we..." he rubbed your back "Yeah you were amazing" you threw yourself back into the pillow "I'm joking y/n!!!" He was laughing his ass off. You threw a pillow at him "You jerk!" You sat up next to him "It's alright y/n, I'm not that kind of guy. I wouldn't have been able to anyways. Neither of us would. Van had to help us into bed." You forgot there was another person "Where is Van?" Bob rubbed the sleep out of his eyes "Living room? Maybe? Sleeping. Who knows." He stood up, you hadn't realized how fit he was when you saw him shirtless with pj bottoms on. He grabbed an elastic from his nightstand and pulled his hair back. "If you need one they're in the drawer, I'm gonna get a quick shower. You gonna be okay?" You felt like death, you needed water, a hot shower and a change of clothes. "Yeah, im good." While Bob was in the shower you walked like a zombie into the kitchen. "Good morning sunshine!" his cheery voice was hard on you this morning. "Ughhhh. Morning" he sat at the kitchen table with a big smile on his face "You guys get up to no good?" He gave an awkward wink "what? No. What was your name again?" He poured you a cup of tea "I'm Van, me and Bob are in a band together. We told you all of this lastnight." You put two sugars and a bit of milk in the tea "Yeah well I barely remember leaving the club." He threw back his tea and stood up, putting his coat on "Okay well, Bob has today to recover. But I gotta get things done today. Take care and let him know I'll text him later." You half nodded and he was out the front door. Shortly after he left Bob came out in just a towel "Did Van leave?" You tried not to oggle at his wet body "Yeah he said he had things to do and to text him later." "Oh alright. Well I'll get dressed and we'll head out for brunch is that okay? I know it isn't dinner but I think you need it right now. Fresh air might help too." He must've seen how crappy you looked. In fact you hadn't even seen yourself, you headed straight for the bathroom "Ugh..." your mascara was smeared and you had a bit of lipstick on your cheek. Bob walked in with a change of women's clothes, all still had tags on them. "Here. They were all gifts but were never received. You look about the same size as.. my ex." You were a little weirded out. "You're giving me your exes clothes? Won't she be mad?" He let out a deep sigh and looked at the floor "She won't mind at all. She isn't even around anymore.." you couldn't quite understand what he was saying "Ahh. So she moved out?" He was about to shut the bathroom door for you "She passed away about a year and a half ago. She was sick... you're the first girl I've brought around here since it happened." Your heart broke for him. You put the clothes on the bathroom countertop and gave him a hug "I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you sure you wanna give these to me?" He shrugged "Yeah, you need them and they're not my size." He nervously joked "Okay well showed up and we'll go." After your shower, you got dressed and used the spare toothbrush Bob gave you. You looked at yourself in the mirror, his taste in women's clothing wasn't bad. But she must've helped him pick, a striped top and cute designer jeans. You opened the door "Hey! I'm ready." Bob walked out of the room and paused "Looks good on you." You smiled "Thanks. So where are we going?" Bob led the way out the door, and opened the car door for you. "It's a nice place, that's all you need to know. Not a grubby cafe." All you could do was trust him. "Okay." You enjoyed the ride and when the car stopped you looked at him and looked outside. It was a tall grey building. The inside of it was gorgeous, it looked modern but also had an old timey feel to it. Bob pushed the button to the elevator "We're not there yet?" He smiled "Not yet, sweety." The elevator stopped "We're here." The doors opened and the place look open and bright. "I told you that I haven't been with anyone else in a while, and I honestly felt something with you.. so Van helped me set all of this up." Van walked over and gave you a bouquet of pink roses "Wow... thank you. It's so much. We only just met though." He held your hand and led you to the table "Yeah, so let's continue to get to know each other." You looked out the window at the city. The sun was out and there were minimal clouds. Someone walked out tray in hand and started putting food on the table. Fruits and French toast. Then a woman brought over mimosas. Along with the champagne and OJ. You nibbled at the fruit and talked to Bob, you were curious about his ex but that was a conversation for when he was ready. "So you're in a band?" He smiled "Yeah, we told you lastnight. Catfish and the Bottlemen." You put a piece of French toast on your plate "That's the name? Interesting choice.." He went to grab a piece of French toast but knocked over the pitcher of orange juice. The whole thing spilled onto your lap. You sat up and tried to dodge it but couldn't get away in time. Bob got up quickly to try and help you but fell over knocking the fruit off the table and onto himself. The scene went from looking naturally lit and super romantic, to a circus. "AHHHH!" You looked up to ceiling and yelled but couldn't help but laugh at the way Bob looked covered in berries and pineapples. He had blueberries stuck in his hair "Im so sorry, I don't know how this keeps happening. I swear this never happens!" You held out your hand "Come on. Get up, it's fine. It's almost normal now." He slowly got up, "I give up." He sounded upset and defeat. You were trying not to laugh as you picked blueberries out of his hair "No! Don't give up. I'd gladly see you again! Atleast I'd know it would never be boring." He started to see how funny the situation was "Yeah.. I guess you're right. Would you like to go on a date with me?"

#catfish and the bottlemen #didn't proofread #fanfic #bob hall #van mccann #johnny bond #benji blakeway #request

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lastoneout · 8 years ago

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Darling, Hold My Hand

Chapter 1: Go Weave A Basket

Rating: G

Ship: Poppy/Branch (Broppy, Boppy)

Fic Summary: Pre-movie AU where Poppy falls for Branch and decides to do something about it. An exploration of how Grey!Branch and Poppy would make a relationship work.

A03

Poppy didn't remember when she started having feelings for Branch. Honestly, he was the last person in the world she imagined falling for, but somewhere between chasing him around trying to cheer him up and watching him from a distance catching those rare glimpses into what she figured was his true nature, she fell. And she fell hard.

It was one of those fleeting moments that she realized it. She was nearly nineteen, laughing with her friends after another intricate song and dance number, when she spotted him. He was standing in the distance, almost hidden behind a mushroom, staring at them with that odd, cryptic look. She gave him a small smile and waved, and for once he waved back. Then, as if startled by his own actions, a blush bloomed across his face and he turned, trudging back into the woods.

It hit her all at once. The smiles, the hidden glances and hesitant waves and oh goodness--she liked him. She liked him a lot.

Trolls were very straightforward creatures. Concepts like lies and sarcasm were not unheard of, but certainly weren't normal. So when one person liked another they always admitted it outright. There was no point in hiding it, and sure it didn't always work out, but after a while the troll in question would get over it and not let awkwardness come between them and their former crush.

But Poppy wasn't so confident. Had it been anyone else she would have gone and just told them, but this was Branch. And Branch...was different. Very different. She had no idea how he would react. Would he feel the same? Would he get mad and yell? Tell her to stop being stupid and to leave him alone?

And what if he did feel the same...what then? How would her friends react? He surely wouldn't suddenly want to go to parties and sing, and she was mostly fine with that. Branch was Branch, she liked him and would try to respect what he wanted. But her friends, her dad, the village...what would they say?

She worried over it for a whole week before she decided that damn the consequences she just had to tell him. It was the right thing to do, and sitting on the feelings was driving her up a wall. So the next day she got up, squared her shoulders, and marched off into the forest to find him.

The walk was blessedly short, giving her no time to second guess herself, but when she found him sitting in the shade just outside his bunker she felt her heart give an involuntary leap. She swallowed and tried to calm herself before walking up to him.

“Hey Branch!” She called. He visibly tensed, before sighing and looking up at her.

“What do you want, Poppy?”

She froze, this was it. Just breathe, be honest, and tell him. Easy as pie. “I...” Suddenly the words grew heavy on her tongue and she felt the panic rise again. “I...um...”

“Well?” He asked, clearly annoyed.

“Um...nothing...” She deflated, all courage and hope leaving her. She fiddled with her hands, struggling to find an excuse, “I just wanted to say hi and uh...see what you were doing.”

He gave her a confused stare. “...really?”

“Yeah! Um,” she gazed down at the piles of long leaves and sticks he had gathered, “What are you doing?”

“If you must know, I'm making a basket.”

“Oh..um...will you teach me?” She asked, trying to find a reason to stay. If she couldn't confess at least she could spend some time with him.

“How to make a basket?”

“Yep!”

“...Why?”

“Well,” she said, sitting down in front of him, “I'm going to be queen one day, and uh...a queen should know how to do things...like making baskets.”

He furrowed his brow and turned his head slightly, clearly trying to discern if she was pulling a prank, “What's this really about?”

She shook her head, reaching down grabbing one of the sticks, “Come on, just show me.”

“...Alright fine. But no singing. Or dancing.”

She nodded, “Deal.”

“Ok,” He took the stick from her, “I'll start it for you but you're gonna have to do the rest yourself. It isn't as easy as it looks so pay attention.”

Poppy was true to her word, even going so far as to ignore her hug time bracelet, and they passed the afternoon in comfortable silence. Usually the reserved atmosphere would drive her up a wall before long, but today she found that she enjoyed it. Branch was there, and quiet fit him, and if she liked him then she figured she could learn to like the quiet too. Besides, without any of her usual theatrics she could hear the sounds of the forest around them, mixing with the relaxing noises of the grass sliding against itself as they worked on the baskets. It was nice. Really nice.

Of course the silence also left room for her mind to wander. She found herself stealing a glance at him from time to time, the deep, concentrated look on his face making her cheeks grow warm, and her heart fluttered every time he reached over to correct a mistake she had made.

In the end Branch made two baskets in the time it took her to finish one, and while her’s resembled a tumbleweed more than anything she was proud of it. She helped him gather the leftover supplies(and tried not to blush when their hands inevitably touched.)

“Well...thanks for the...” he said as he glanced at her basket, “...help, I guess.”

“Aw, Branch, that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me.”

“Yeah, well don't get used to it.” He said with a poorly concealed blush, “Anyway, you should go. It’s going to be dark soon.”

“Right.” She paused, mulling over telling him now. She didn’t like keeping secrets, even small ones had always felt like lies to her, but she still couldn’t bring herself to utter the words.

“Thank you for teaching me.” She said instead, “I had fun.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He gathered the last of his things and walked back to his bunker.

“Wait!” She called.

He looked back, “What?”

She held out her basket, “Don’t you want it?”

“Uh....” He said, “No, that’s ok. You made it, you should keep it.”

She smiled, deciding that he was very cute when he was trying to be nice, “Ok! Well, thanks again.”

He nodded awkwardly and Poppy held her composure until she heard his door close and the last of his 16 locks and bolts click into place.

“Ughhhh....” She buried her face in her basket, stomping her foot weakly. ‘Dummy! Why didn’t you just tell him?’

She brought the basket away from her face. ‘At least I tried...’ she reasoned, ‘And there’s always tomorrow.’

That was it. She’d just try again tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. Eventually she could confess or Branch would get tired of her pointless visits and get the truth out of her. He was good at that. It was foolproof. Until then she would at least get to know him a little better. That couldn’t hurt.

She nodded, held her basket close and made her way back home.

And she returned, not just the next day, but every day that week, and that month. Each time Branch seemed more and more confused by her presence, but she always waved it off, insisting that whatever survival skill he was practising was important for her to know. He was hesitant, but in the end always gave her the same terms. No singing or hugging or dancing, and she could stay and learn. And she always agreed.

She did miss it, dancing and singing were part of her, but she made due, focusing instead on fire-making or trap building or rope spinning, hardly ever slipping up. She learned to scavenge for food and water, how to start a garden, the basics of navigation and even some hand to hand combat.

As the hours passed she found that she actually enjoyed learning. Sure, it wasn't her usual thing, but she couldn't deny that it was all important knowledge that could help her people when she became queen. Not that she imagined that anything bad would happen, she still believed that she and her people were as safe as safe could be, but she supposed it couldn't hurt to prepare, just like Branch did.

And yet, for all of the time she spent with him, she still lacked the courage to just tell him why she was there in the first place. She told herself that it would come when it came, but a month later she still hadn't come any closer to spilling the truth.

"Poppy..." Branch asked one day, a half eaten sandwich in his lap. She had spent the morning helping him dig a new room in his bunker, getting a crash-course in underground architecture in the process(She also ended up covered in mud, but that was fun in its own way, so she didn't mind.) They both sat in the light of a few bio-luminescent mushrooms eating the small lunch Branch had offered her.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"...Every single day this month you've come and helped me. You don't sing, you don't hug, you don't dance, and you haven't even complained about it."

"Yeah...?" She shrunk away from him slightly as her heart started pounding. She could tell where this was going, and she certainly didn't like it.

"So what's the deal? And don't pretend it's just 'cuz you want to learn because I know that's not true. You've never shown any kind of interest in this stuff before. Is it just some new ploy to try to get me to open up?"

"Well...no, not exactly..."

"Then what is it?"

"...um..."

"Poppy. Just tell me." He said, annoyed. She felt herself blush, lowering her food to her lap. She still felt so scared, her heart pounding away in her chest more fiercely than ever. But...she knew it was time to tell him. She had danced around the topic for too long. Sure, he probably didn't feel the same, and while she would lose all of the private moments and hesitant touches and smiles they had shared in the past days, she just couldn't keep lying to him.

"I...I like you."

"Well, yeah, that's obvious, you haven't left me alone for days." He said with a laugh, "What's the real reason?"

"No, Branch. I like you. Like...like-like you."

His eyes snapped to meet hers, his gaze deep and clouded with mistrust. He let the words hang in the air before speaking, his voice quiet, all traces of humor gone. "That's not funny, Poppy."

"What...no, I'm not kidding. I do!"

"Yeah, whatever. We're done for today." He got up, gathering what was left of his lunch and as she watched him she felt anger rise in her chest. He really didn't believe her! She stood as well and grabbed his hand. He stopped, but refused to look at her.

“I do.” She grasped his hand tighter, “I have for a while now actually...I was just too scared to tell you.”

He turned back to stare at her, still unsure.

“When have I ever lied to you?” She asked, trying not to sound hurt.

“Poppy..." He sighed, "Even if you do like me...I can’t be all the things you'd want me to be. I'm never going to...be like you."

“I just want you to be you, Branch.” She said honestly, giving him a shy smile. He didn’t speak, a slight blush coloring his cheeks as he gazed at their joined hands.

“Do...do you like me too?” She asked after a moment, and he nodded his head and blushed deeper.

“...Of course I do...”

“Really!?” She gasped.

“Yes, Poppy, I do.”

She felt dizzy suddenly, and her face glowed with a deep blush. She took her hand back and smacked herself on the arm, hissing at the pain. "I'm not dreaming..."

"I could have told you that." Branch said, grinning at her antics. "But by all means, continue."

She instead rushed forward, pulling him into a tight hug. He was warm and solid, and she felt safe...for a moment. Her actions caught up to her almost instantly and she stepped back, sheepishly looking at the ground. "Sorry, I know you don't like hugs."

He seemed sad for a second, before reaching forward and pulling her back into the hug, "I don't...but for you...I guess I could make an exception." She wrapped her arms around him again, savoring the feeling. She never realised how much she wanted this. Just him and her, close and safe and maybe...happy. She could only hope he was enjoying it as much as she was.

"Poppy..." He whispered, not pulling away, "I really can't be everything you want me to be..."

"Branch, I told-" She tried to pull back but he held her fast, and so she leaned back in and kept quiet.

"Just hear me out, okay?" She nodded.

"I just don't...I don't want you to do this because you feel like you have to or something..."

"Why would I do something if I didn't want to?" She asked quiety, still shocked at his uncertainty.

"Because you’re a people pleaser, Poppy. You just want everyone to be happy."

"So...?"

"So...I just want to make sure you know what you're doing...and why."

"Branch..." She leaned back, and he let her look up at him. He was still blushing, but he looked more scared and vulnerable than she had ever seen him.

"I’m doing this because I do like you. A lot. It just...took me a while to figure it out.” She squeezed one of his hands, “Can you at least give me a chance?”

“What about...everyone else? Your dad? The village?”

“Who cares? It’s none of their business.” She said adamantly, as if she was trying to remind herself as well as him.

“But it will be.” He said, ever the voice of reason, “You’re gonna be queen one day.”

She shrugged, “So we’ll figure it out. Together.”

“Together...” He repeated.

“Yep. Together. What do ya say?”

He paused again, considering her words, “...Together...sounds nice.”

“I think so too.”

He gave her a soft, adoring look and she blushed before collapsing back into the hug.

“You know for someone who doesn’t like hugs,” She said with a smirk, “you’re pretty good at them.”

“Ok, that’s just rude.”

“More like true.”

“Nope, too late. I changed my mind.” He picked her up and she let out an involuntary gasp, breaking out into giggles as he carried her to the elevator, “Time to go, Poppy.”

“Branch, put me down!” She wiggled against his grip, still laughing, “As your future queen I command it!”

“As you wish, your majesty.” He deadpanned, dropping her onto the soft moss of the platform. She made an indignant noise and stubbornly grabbed him, pulling him down on top of her. The pair blushed furiously for a moment before dissolving into giggles.

“You’re awful.” She laughed.

“You know you love it.” He replied, taking her hand.

She hummed, entwining their fingers, “Yeah, I do.”

#me and mine #text #broppy #dreamworks trolls #loo writes

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ilygsd · 6 years ago

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241018: 4

you know those pathetic abstinence posts i wrote when i ”took a pause” from him?

yeah uhh........ im trying my hardest not to weite smth equally as cringy but i cant help. i catch myself looking at the few pictures ive taken/screenshoted of him, imagine his smell wow and thats really smth that hits me. ive said it before, i even admittet it but sometimes when im outside, at the busstop or whatever and theres a gust i can suddenly get very very excited like my heart goes WOOP for a second and then i realize FUCK its just another male perfume lmao. like i didnt know i likes perfumes until met him. a crazy thought would be for me to buy his perfume and then just use it for all my clothes and my bed to feel safety. thats fucked up. idk why but peoples smell have always been very important to me

i always used to exchange shirts with my precious boyfriends. or not exchange i just stole their shirts. i used to have like up to 5 of my exs shirts and it sucked ass to give then back to him when we broke up lol.

i did find it interesting though because of jo wearing perfume i didnt know what his ”original” scent was like. i still dont really know, but i think i lile the mix of his perfume and his own smell like after we’ve cuddled or had sex i could feel him on my skin. i think it was a mix. bed and clothes are usually pretty reliable but his clothes are perfume and the bed is sometimes like.... idk what to say.... old? lol

ah fuck anyways i miss him. i miss him much and i catch myself thinking good about himmm. thoughts i dont want to tinkkkk. thoughts like ”maybe i overreacted, maybe it wasnt that bad”. im actually not hurt anymore, just anxious. for him leaving i guess. or me making a fool out of myself. im just stubborn. i wish he could apologize and if we will continue to see each other i will tell him why. he probably wont agree though and i will have to give up/accept that. because this whole relationship is on his fucking terms

i also realized that i really was desperate before i met him. it doesnt feel like it because now he occupies most of my thoughts bit when i read my precious posts here it was a lot of frustrated feelingd about adoption, racism and my ex. idk..... maybe i’d rather think of him than any of tjat cus that sjit is just sad to read. i guess stjis is too though. so fucking obsessed its crazy

i read smth about bpd splitting and idolizing and devaluating etc which i will get back to later but there was this pattern and i just.... could relate a lot. i either love or hate him. i wish i could see him for who he was. i dont only hate him and im not only being manipulated but i want to believe i actually do like him. i just have a hard time accepting who he is which is sad because in many ways he accepts me for who i am. he even tries to be empathic for me, its just not enough. especially not when he loses his sjit.

bow i feel like i have to appreciate him more again but i never do. and thats the problem with me, i never do. actions before words as he says. i will have to change my my actions. o wonder if hes fond of CBT, cognitive behavior therapy hmmm. my mim is a psychoanalysds so i always thought about that but idk

i do like him. he’s very handsome, i am very attracted to him physically. idk if im just horny bc ive repressed my sexuality for a couple of years or so now lmao but i really could go up to him and ask him to just fuck me honestly. but i want to get to know him better too. and his mom LMAO. no but honestly, i want to get to know him better. especially how he thinks. what he likes, what he diskukes. i want to do things with him and make him things, make him smile, make him relax and make him feel pleasure.

yeah uhhh i almost sucked his dick??? and i really dont do that i dont like dicks esp bot sucking on them thats fucking disgusting but honestly i was just so caught up in the moment and i just wanted him to feel good and i was just so attracted to him so.... yeah. it wasnt for long though cus im insecure and inexperienced and the sex probably sucked for him even though he came idk but i was surprised by myself

i still catch myself thinking of how he can be very cute and caring. he always asked if i was okay, if i was ready or uncomfortavle. that i could always tell him if it was too mich. he did pressure me a little bit to mutual masturvation but he accepted when it didnt work for me. i was so tense tbh. if i had tried a little bit longer it would probably have worked though.

sometimes i want to be close and you can tell the way my bldy communicages. like when we talk over a coffee and his knew touches mine or he takes my hand or let me nudge his shoulder or fuck up his hair a bit even though it obviously annoyed him.

i see myself as a little puppy sometimes. an emo puppy lol. a depressed puppy. and sometimes i see him as my older brother. idk. apprently his mom thought i was like a sister. i neve runderstiod if he meant sister to her or sister to him.... i guess shim?? yeah thats pretty weird considering we were fucking when she was home LMAO omg that was so embarrassing im so awkward ughhhh. i didnt even thank her for the food 😩 until it was time to leave and jo was like ”uh she’s leaving i follow her to the busstop” and she said ”okay bye” and i was like ”thx-for-the-food-that-for-letting-me-stay-goodbye-ily-stay-safe” not really bit basically ugh. and i had/have a cold too so my voice is all raspy and low like morgan freeman abeushwisbso

fuck now i REALLY miss him. its scary when he ignores me. im so used to him messaging me all the time and i know that he and other aspds want wouldnt do something they dont want/gain. at first i was offended by that fact. offended and scared but now i feel flattered. sure i may only be a study ibject to him but hes kind to me. he’s romantic to me instead of just friendly so i guess he finds me somewhat attractive. he pickdd me because he thinks i can give him something? that actually means a lot because i am useless lol and no one ever wants me for anything. i wonder what it is though. my sensitivity only seems to brother him though, and my overthinking. and i overthink all the time im with him. you dont know how mich we fight and bicker. i wish he wanted my love but hes not interested in that. i could give him my love for sure. it would be intense and passionate. the only love he wants is sexual lol not emotional

ughhh idkkkk. i’ll have to find my old adoption documents too to see if im tested for HIV and shit so i can contact him LMAO idk what to do though cus i booked a time to get myself tested bit idk if i want to anymore..... i would do it for him though. worst thing would be if he dissed me because of me not being tested yet. but that wouldnt really make any sense because he actually tried to liggten the mood and make a joke so i guess he actually ”forgave” me. i wonder if he would forgive me for still oushing his buttons and demanding things from him

#diary #jo

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