#so she leaves and he leaves and even tho he's heartbroken he thinks it's for the best | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jjkarmy091 · 3 months ago

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Second Best- Jungkook (part 9)

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Warning: strong language

Wordcount: 5.820

Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writting it. Give me your thoughts. I love you all <3

P.S : I'm sorry for any mistakes

After Jungkook left Y/n found herself having an anxiety attack. What the hell did she just do? She was so mad and frustrated with her feelings and having Jungkook so close to her, so defenseless made her fold in so many ways. She made a mistake and now she couldn’t look at Jungkook like before. Not when he knows almost everything.

She never thought that love would be this complicated. If only she knew this before, she would’ve never gotten so close to him. How dumb of her. Now mistakes were made and things were said... Oh how she wished to take them all back. She doesn’t know how much time she spent there alone until she saw Lisa run towards her with a very worried face.

“Are you okay? I called you so many times, why didn’t you answer? I was worried sick!” she kneeled in front of her, checking if she had injuries. It was then when Y/n remembered Jungkook’s words

I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday

All of a sudden Y/n gets up startling Lisa a little bit and goes a little far, breathing heavily. She turned to face her again and Lisa saw disappointment in her eyes.

“You talked to Jungkook yesterday?” Lisa’s face went blank.

“I can explain” she tried approaching her friend but was dismissed. “Y/n I was trying to help somehow and ---”

“So you told him I was back and that he should come here to talk?! Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Y/n’s tears threatened to leave. Again “He did come here to talk. Out of nowhere, on my first day back to work Lisa! It went awful. We fought – I told him I was in love with him and it all went downhill afterwards. I love you and I’m so thankful for your support during these days but this was any of your concern and you shouldn't have gotten involved in this. How did you know who he was anyway?”

“When I walked in, the coffee shop was very calm so I went to make my order and ended up making small talk with Sana. That’s when I noticed him sat down with his coffee in front of him looking outside the window. I asked her if he was Jungkook. He must’ve felt the looks on him because when he saw me, he got up so quick he almost fell. He was very straightforward, I was actually impressed. He asked me about you, if you were back in town, that he saw some pictures of us on our trip and invited me to sit with him so we could talk a bit... I know I shouldn’t have gotten involved, but he looked so heartbroken Y/n, you should’ve seen his face. If I had told you he was gonna see you you’d have run like you always do, because you’re never ready to face your problems” Y/n stayed quiet. Even tho she didn’t appreciate Lisa’s attitude, she had to agree with her partially. She didn’t say anything else, preparing herself to finally close the shop and heading home with Lisa.

The drive home was very quiet and the tension was palpable. Lisa would give her some looks here and there, which Y/n decided to ignore, focusing on the view outside. It had started to rain and the radio was playing "You Broke Me First" by Tate Mcrae. Fate was definitely giving her reasons to cry even more. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice them entering the garage at home. As soon as she felt the car pull into the parking lot, she quickly got out of the car and started heading towards the elevator that would take them to their floor. A few seconds later she felt Lisa beside her.

“I am really sorry Y/n. I just wanted to help smooth things over so you could understand each other once and for all. You both have a lot to talk about. There are many points that need to be clarified and neither you or him should jump to conclusions. I would never lie to you so when I say he was desperate to know something about you he really was Y/n, otherwise the first question in his head wouldn't be if you were okay and why were you mad at him.”

Y/n looked at Lisa while wipping her tears. “What did you guys talk about?” Lisa gave half a smile

“He was super nervous. Honestly, he didn't know where to start, his hands were shaking, you know? From the looks of it, it was clear that these were difficult days for him too. Then he thanked me for sitting with him and asked how you were, that you weren't responding to his texts and didn't understand your attitude. He told me about when you two met and that you were very close from then on, which is why he was so worried for not hearing anything from you in so many days. Then he confessed that he realized your distance from the moment he started dating Sewoon and asked me if I knew her too. He said he was sorry he didn't bring it up sooner and that he should have talked to you first and been more honest. In the end I mentioned that you would go back to work today, in case he wanted to talk to you, but I never thought it would go so wrong Y/n. What happened?”

When they entered the house, they took off their shoes and put them away. Y/n went to the fridge and poured some orange juice for both of them. The fireplace was already lit, creating the perfect moment to drown the sorrows. It was so cozy and so warm. So homely. It was what she needed for the shitty weather and her mood. Y/n put her feet up on the couch and motioned for Lisa to sit next to her.

“I wasn’t expecting him at all as you can imagine, so it was shoking for me when I heard his angelic voice. I froze. It took me a while to realize that this was going to happen and that there was no way to escape it. I don't know why he says I never said anything to him. After we arrived, I sent him a text, which he never responded to. Hence my surprise was even bigger when I saw him standing there, so I said the first thing it occurred to me. I told him we were closed. *facepalm.* He was so angry, but I can't understand why. I was too nervous to think about it anyway. You know I avoid this kind of confrontation when I feel cornered and he pressed and kept pressing even more when I started dodging his questions.”

Y/n stops so she could five another sip on her drink. Honestly she wanted this to be a very strong shot, but after the last drinking binge, she promised herself that she wouldn't drink again in the near future.

“It was in that exchange of words that I couldn't contain myself any longer and confessed everything. I confessed that I was in love with him, that I knew he and Sewoon were still seeing each other and that I wanted some time to get my ideas together, organize my head. I tried to stay physically distant from him as much as possible, but he kept getting closer and closer to me. I swear to you Lisa, the only reason I didn't kiss him was out of respect for Sewoon, even if she didn't have the same respect for me. I couldn't, so I sent him away. He looked so defeated, but I was so embarrassed about everything. I know I shouldn't have kicked him out of there like that. It's not his fault, I know, he didn't know but still... Every time I look at him I see a shadow of Sewoon and it breaks my heart every time.” Lisa facepalmed herself.

“You're both being idiots. Want to know my honest opinion? I think that all this time you were interested in each other and neither of you had the courage to make the first move. Then Sewoon came along and destroyed everything else. She can manipulate things very well. I know this firsthand. Jungkook told me that besides coming here he also went to your house a lot. Did you know that?" Y/n made a shocked face

"How, if I never told him where I lived?"

“He forced Sewoon to show him. He told me in passing that he had some strong arguments with her after you left and those were NOT couple arguments, but trivial arguments. She was always super calm. It made him feel weird how could she be so calm while her best friend was missing out of the blue... what are you gonna do next?”

Y/n thought for a while. “Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

The next day and after a very bad night's sleep, Y/n woke up and got ready for another (long) day of work. After yesterday's episode she doubted very much that he would show up there. Yesterday she almost sent him a message apologizing, but she deleted it. She couldn', it was for her own good. Instead she texted Sewoon to meet up with her on her work break, but got no response from her, however Y/n was already expecting it.

The day went by normally, lots of movement and little rest. When there were only 5 minutes left for her break, she heard someone calling her name. Sewoon stood in front of her with her hair perfectly styled, designer clothes and sunglasses hanging from her red knitted sweater. Time really didn't pass for her. She was always so youthful, so free from worries. Y/n looked at her colleague and hinted that she was going to take a break, to which Sana nodded and headed outside with Sewoon. They were silent for a while and when Y/n realized she wasn't going to say anything she decided to make the first move

“How are you?” Sewoon made a disdainful face

“Cut the bullshit Y/n. There’s no need to pretend anymore, you and I know that very well, don’t we? Say what you have to say and stop wasting my time. Unlike you, I do have a fulfilled life.” Y/n felt bad about the way she was talking to her. So this is what Lisa was talking about? this unknown side of her. Yeah, because despite everything Sewoon had never spoken to her like that but, then again, Y/n was never against her game either. What an unpleasant surprise. How had she never noticed this side of her? It just proves how blind she is.

Idiot

“Why? Why are you acting like this? I never did anything wrong to you for you to punish me like this. On the contrary Sewoon, I've always been there for you! Is this because of Jungkook?”

“It's for everything Y/n. Why didn't you continue in your hidden place? God, I waited every day for the news that something had happened to you so you could finally leave my life once and for all. But life is thankless. Besides you being here in front of me right now, you made me waste time with Jungkook looking for you, while you were having fun with MY ex. You’re a bitch. Of all people you had to be with him and I’ll never forgive you for that.”

“You must be crazy. It wasn't planned! what the fuck Sewoon. It was by chance, but let me tell you that I'm glad it happened because I discovered a lot of things about your relationship! Things that aren't the way you said they were, and we've always been friends. My mistake was giving in to all your whims and distance myself from him because YOU wanted me to. Now I know it was all just your insecurity, wasn't it? Since we are confessing things, admit it! I know he had a crush on me in school and I also know you kept something it belonged to me this whole time, or you forgot about the letter he asked you to deliver?”

After saying such words, Sewoon turned white as snow. If that's how she wanted it, that's how she would get it. “And about Jungkook, once again I was the one who met him first, way before you --”

“Ohh please Y/n. Yes I admit I kept it all to myself because I liked him and I hated the fact that he was crushing on you, out of everyone. But you know me, one way or another, if I want something I get it and the proof of that is Jungkook.” Every time she spoke of him, Y/n felt a sharp pang in her heart and she was terrified of what was coming next.

“He fell so easily into my hands and it was so nice to see your face every time you saw us together. I loved every second of your despair. You met him first, yes it's true, but after that I was first in everything. Not you. The way he touches, the way he kisses. How he fucks. I know it all, and you? Do you know what this is? No, because you're nothing more than a pathetic virgin. You'll never get past that. The game with Jungkook is not over, my love. This is just the beginning. You'll see him choose me every time, even if it's just for a quick fuck. It wouldn't be the first time or you really think that this didn't happen while we were apart? My dear, you have a long way to go before you reach me. Face it, you're not enough. Never were, never will be. You took Tae away from me so it's only fair I take Jungkook away from you.”

After these words, Sewoon took grabbed her sunglasses and put them on her face and walked away from Y/n, not without winking at her and blew her a kiss. Y/n was terrified, completely out of place and empty. Sewoon was right, she didn't know what it was. She had won. Although at first she felt victorious with the way she was confronting her former best friend, that quickly fell apart. Now she was defeated, trying her best to hold back her tears until she left work. And with that mask, she went into the second part of his shift.

Of course it didn't last long. An hour after the fight, a couple came in and made their order. Y/n couldn't help but look at them and think about Jungkook, about Sewoon and everything she reported they did. Them on dates, them in bed. It was the breaking point for Y/n. She told Sana she was going to the bathroom and broke down there. She lost count of the time she was closed there until Sana went to check on her and found her in a deplorable state. She had seen Sewoon come in so she knew the outcome of the conversation wasn't going to be the best. She hugged her tightly and told her to go home that she would take care of it, since the new intern who had recently joined the team was also there and he was actually quite experienced. Y/n thanked her, went to change her uniform and left.

She was originally going to call Lisa but decided not to bother her. She was also at work and didn't want to cause any more inconvenience, so she decided to take a walk. A long one. During it she managed to calm down little by little. She sat for a while in a garden full of happy parents and children playing. She remembered her parents and how much she missed them. In these low moments, she just wanted to go back to being a child, however she remembered that even then, life wasn’t easy for her.

It then started to get cold so she continued her walk. Without knowing how or why, she found herself in front of the tattoo shop where Jungkook worked. How the hell did she end up there? It was definitely her subconscious playing tricks on her. With that she just prayed that he wouldn't show up, but guess what? as soon as she had finished having this thought, she heard the main door open and three people came out: Jungkook, a slightly older man and a boy about her age with a film on his arm. With that, she just prayed that he wouldn't show up, but guess what, as soon as she finished thinking about it, she heard the main door open and three people coming out: Jungkook, a slightly older man and a boy about her age with a red arm and something transparent protecting the area. Must have finished a session for sure. Hidden, she watched the scene in front of her. Jungkook was calm and talking to the other two guys when suddenly he took out a pack of cigarettes. What? since when did he star smoking?

Every time Y/n saw him he became even more attractive. She knew just as he caught her attention, he also caught many other girls' attention (and boys too, I bet). And it was something that never crossed her mind before. The amount of girls that must be waiting for him to give them a chance and for a moment she felt small, followed by an ironic laugh. It didn't matter anymore, she mentioned it was over and she was going to do everything to move on. She deserved to be happy.

Y/n hoped they would quickly enter the establishment, as it was getting very cold and she still had a 15 minute's walk home. Looking back at the entrance, she now sees a fourth person in the group, a very pretty girl, redhead with wavy hair. She was wearing black shorts and a white top which highlighted her tanned skin. Looking at her from top to bottom, you could see her right arm covered in tattoos and a few more spread across her other arm and left leg. She seemed to be familiar to Jungkook, because as soon as he saw her they gave her a tight hug and she even took his cigarette to smoke it. The intimacy must have been very strong because he didn't make any uncomfortable face. Y/n wished she was that badass. After everyone smoked their cigarettes, they went back inside. She waited a few more minutes so she could continue on her way without being seen. And there she went, cold, hungry and jealous.

It had only been a couple of hours since she had last spoken to him and while her world was upside down, his seemed whole, as if having "losing" a friend made no difference. You could see the traffic more now with rush hour. It was getting dark and people were heading home. Before going home aswell Y/n decided to take a detour to her favorite place to take dinner home. Lisa had said she would be late today, so it was up to her.

Meanwhile the street had quieted down a little, but it was only for a short while because the noise of a motorcycle started to become noticeable, yet she ignored it until she started to hear constant beeping. Starting to get scared, she decided to ignore it for her own good, but the beeping started to get even more constant and faster until it seemed like someone had said her name. She stopped and saw the motorcycle slow down only to be surprised by Jungkook. Just when she wanted to run from him, was when she would see him the most. Did she ever mention she hated her luck?

He motioned her to move forward so he could park the bike safely. Slowly she walked towards him, because the path she wanted to follow was that one, so it was difficult to go around it. He took off his helmet and watched her walk towards him. My god, could he not look away? how shameless. She gave him a nod, grabbing at the same time the coat she was wearing to hide the nervousness she was feeling. She wasn't going to stop but when she got closer he spoke.

“Please don’t pretend I’m not here. I stopped to greet you, the one thing I’m expecting you to do is for you to greet me back” - son of a bitch, Y/n thought.

“Hi Jungkook, good to see you. Okay bye then” Y/n was already leaving when Jungkook grabbed her arm. Gosh, this was becoming a habit.

“Please don’t do that. Don’t pretend that we’re strangers over something so stupid. Don’t do that to me Y/n. Besides, don’t you know how dangerous it is to walk all by yourself? For a smart girl you’re pretty reckless” Y/n released her arm from his grip.

“Last time I checked I’m an adult fully aware of the dangers and consequences of her actions. Thank you but I don't need another father I already have one." She was mad over his “something stupid” line. What the fuck. Were her feelings so pathethic? Jungkook stirred.

Discomfort? Check.

“I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you walking around by yourself, it's dangerous. As much as it costs you to believe, I care about you. You never had any reason to complain about that Y/n, I don't know the reason behind all this arrogance right now.” She wanted to say that he was wrong, but she couldn’t. Despite the fact that when he was with Sewoon he wouldn’t care for her at all (or so she thought), somehow he was right, she was letting her emotions get the best of her. Jungkook never failed her when she needed him the most and every time she needed to talk, he was the first one to open space for it. She was being unfair.

“You're right. I'm sorry for what I said, I guess. Not that it's an excuse, but today was a difficult day. Thank you for your concern, even tho I'm already used to it. Don't forget that I work in a store that closes at 11 p.m and when I'm at that shift there is no type of ride home other than my two legs and little feet. I'll be fine, don't be late because of me. Thank you once again" She started to move forward but he stopped her from taking any further steps. Again

“Let me give you a ride” She looked at him.

"No need, I still have to take a detour, it will only get in your way. It’s healthy to walk, you can--”

“Stop being so stubborn Y/n. I wanna give you a ride, didn’t you catch that yet? And what were you doing near my shop Y/n? I saw you passing by it when I came outside. Are you okay?”

“What do you mean you saw me? you guys had just walked in, I checked !” Shit she just lost her disguise

“I had to step outside again and saw you around the corner. I warned my friends I had to leave, hoping I could still catch you. Thank God I did. ” You tried your best not to talk about the girl who was with him and how comfortable they looked. Not that it was your business anyway, you had nothing to do with it and it came from you the decision to put a distance in your friendship. You were trying, you swear you were, you wanted to keep that distance, but for some reason fate kept pushing you towards each other's path.

“I don’t know why, you seemed very busy back there.” She said it without realizing it and when she replayed the words that came out of her mouth, she wanted to punch herself. Isn't there a day when things don't go the way she wants?

Jungkook understood the double meaning of what she said, referring to the girl who was with him. He already knew she had seen them as soon as he went outside to smoke a second cigarette since the first one was "stolen" by Athena, his brother's girlfriend. They got along really well and she had just started working at the store.

"I finished my sessions a long time ago. I was just waiting for Athena to give her something. She’s my brother’s girlfriend and she started working there a couple weeks ago. When I saw you, I found it strange because you never take this route and I wanted to make sure you were okay or if you wanted to talk to me now that your calmer. Now that I'm here, you have no excuse to walk home. Even if you need to go somewhere I'll take you, it doesn't bother me at all"

For some reason Y/n's face became more relieved and although she tried to hide it, even Jungkook himself noticed it. When she said nothing more, he handed her the spare helmet. Initially he was going to help her put it on, but she took it off his hand and put it on herself. Y/n knew there was no point in insisting with him. After being friends for so long, something she knew too well was how stubborn and insistent Jungkook was, so she put on her helmet while Jungkook settled himself on his Harley waiting for her to get on. Then she started to get nervous, where should she hold on?

Jungkook noticed her expression, so when she sat on the motorcycle, he grabbed her one of her arms and put it around his waist, pulling her closer to him. Y/n wasn't expecting that gesture so when she tried to move away a little, she heard Jungkook say "no", pulling her close to him again. Y/n's breathing was uneven, yet she tried to hide it, putting her other arm around him casually. She swears she saw Jungkook smile in the rearview mirror. When she thought she was back to normal, Jungkook turned his head back and she almost passed out. He was so breathtaking.

"Where to?" Y/n looked at him and said the name of her favorite restaurant and they started their way over there. Every now and then she would try to move away a bit, but when he noticed her presence further away, by "coincidence" he would brake, making her hit his back with her chest. The trip was based on his unexpected braking and her complaints about it. Anyone who saw them like this would think they were a couple in love. If only, she thought.

If only

La dolce Perla it was the name of the restaurant. Y/n discovered this place while walking with her mother one day when she came to visit her at her work place and since then she started going there, especially on her worst days. Shortly after she discovered the place, she met the owner and they became close. Jeff was a gentleman in his 50s, super friendly and approachable. He was her go to when needed comfort. Despite living there Jungkook had never heard of that place, but he really liked the aesthetics. Entering, they immediately came face to face with Jeff.

“Y/n, my dear. How are you doing? Long time no see. We were already missing having you around."

“Ohh stop it Jeff” she laughed. “I missed you too --.” she was suddenly interrupted Jeff - “Wait... Is he your boyfriend? Gosh Y/n, I’m happy it worked well for you in the end --” Y/n turned white and interrupted Jeff back

“No no no. Not my boyfriend at all. He’s a – hmm- friend, yeah. Actually I came here to ask if you had any food left so I could take home. I didn’t eat much today and I was really craving your amazing food so --”

“You could have said that already. Even if I didn’t have anything I’d have it prepared just for you. But since you and your friend are here, why don't you eat here? Today is a quiet day, we have free tables. Kara will direct you to the main room.” She understood Jeff's scheme and refused the offer until she heard Jungkook's voice.

“This place is amazing and the food looks wonderful. You’re not gonna take this opportunity away from me, right? Next time I might not be so lucky and it will be your fault" And that was how Kara got them a table overlooking the fantastic outdoor garden. They were also at a more secluded table, with a little more privacy and without many eyes on them and perhaps that's why all she wanted to do was run away.

Y/n made her request and Jungkook did the same. Kara went to deliver their order and came back with a bottle of red wine and set it on the table, winking at her. The atmosphere of the restaurant was wonderful but the tension between them was enormous. She knew she should have insisted more on him not accompany her, even if it meant running away from him, but he would think she was childish. Jungkook took the bottle and poured both glasses and drank a little, without taking his eyes off her.

“ So... with all this you ended up not answering my question." Y/n looked at him confused. "Are you okay? I thought you were closing this week. When I saw you near my tattoo shop I thought it was a mirage, but then I realized it wasn't. You know I'm here if you need to talk. Or anything else.”

It was then that she remembered Sewoon and her words, then she looked at the scene between her and Jungkook. Would this be a normal date with him? everything Sewoon experienced with him. She shook her head, trying to forget that thought. Fortunately the food arrived.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I changed schedules with Sana today, I needed to take care of some matters and... yeah, that's it.” she said, tasting her meal. Jungkook followed her actions before adding:

“I think you forget that I know you very well and I know when you are lying. Are you gonna run away again? Because let me know if you do Y/n. I was devastated by the fact that you left and didn’t tell me anything. An “I’m okay” would be enough. We’d talk whenever you were ready. I know you have some things to say and honestly so do I. I’ll wait, just don’t push me away. I miss you.”

Without any warning, her eyes began to form tears. It was a good thing that both of their plates were almost empty, because she couldn't take it anymore. She whispered "sorry, I can't" to Jungkook, got up and went to the exit. It was too much and she wasn't ready. It was all very recent. She would talk to Jeff later and pay for the meal another day. At that moment she just wanted to get out of there. It was for a short time because Jungkook was by her side after a few minutes.

"Stop acting like this Y/n. Stop running away and face things as they are. Face me!" He was so frustrated right now

“What do you want from me Jungkook? Hm? I already told you everything. I’m in love with you. I fell in love with you and I’m so fucking mad about it. It could be everyone but you. That’s what you want to hear?” Jungkook felt a sharp pain in his heart. Was it so awful to like him? Y/n was frustrated but kept going

“I'm not the type to fall in love. I always ran away from that. I never had a boyfriend, I never pressured myself to give in to boys at school and I never liked going out at night. That’s Sewoon not me. I’m shy. I like to be in my corner. Maybe that’s the reason Sewoon approached me. I was so insecure and quiet that I wasn't even good at defending myself and that's what she did and we've been friends ever since, or so I thought at least. Then I met you Jungkook and--” The tears she was holding were now falling. “and you changed that. Don’t ask me how or why. I was so messy on the day we met and you still talked to me so nice. Never thought I’d see you again but the next day came and you were there and after that too and we created such a nice bond. I didn't want to ruin what we had, because for me it was rare and I knew it was impossible for you to reciprocate my feelings. Just look at you and look at me. You are the kind of person everyone wants while I am the kind of person no one notices.” Y/n was crying for real now and Jungkook tried approaching her but she stepped back.

It was time

“That’s where you’re wrong Y/n. I noticed you ever since the first day-. Why do you think I kept going back? I have a coffee shop across my work place Y/n- I- don’t you think it’d be easier for me to go there than to take a motorcycle trip to go to yours?” he tried approaching her once again. She let him this time. They were inches away from each other at this point when she looked at him with such an intense gaze Jungkook felt shivers down his spine.

“I was going to tell you, you know. That I liked you. I think it was fate, because it was on that same day that you asked me to introduce you to Sewoon and I already knew how the situation would unfold. Sewoon is beautiful. You are perfect and it was just a matter of time for you to find your way into each other's embrace.” Jungkook felt like a huge son of a bitch with what he was hearing. Fuck, this wasn't how he wanted it to be. “I wanna go home Jungkook. This is too much for me to handle and I need to slow down before I reach the point of breaking. I don't want to break in front of you. Not you, not right now"

Jungkook nodded and kissed her forehead respecting her request. He could do that, he could wait. In fact he was going to wait. He let this situation drag for far too long and had to put an end in it. There were so many lapses in this that even himself was confused and there was only one person he could talk to other than you.

He grabbed Y/n's helmet and put it on her head, doing the same with his own. The rest of the trip was silent, but there was no tension anymore, more like a sense of relief. The only time she spoke was to tell him where she was living now. He parked in front of the house and helped her take off her helmet, grabbing her hand, stroking it. Y/n exchanged glances between his eyes and their hands. Once again she wanted to kiss him so badly and one more time Sewoon's words replayed in her head so all she did was give him a tight hug. Not for him, but for her, she was in need of that comfort. As she was in his arms she could smell his perfume. Oh - she remembers this smell. He's using the perfume she gave him on his birthday. Her heart was so warm from this.

Everyone talks about how little things are important. Those people were right.

Before Y/n walked away, she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. She then felt his hands on the sides of her waist. For a split second she thought he was going to kiss her and got a little anxious. She doesn't know if he noticed because after she heard Jungkook say "I'm waiting for you". Y/n nodded and stepped back, making her way to the front door. When she saw he was still there she waved and went in. Her heart was racing. What was that? Butterflies in the stomach? More like the whole zoo in it. Pieces by pieces the truth would come out, but would you and Jungkook find a way for each other's life again?

More important, would you be able to leave your insecurities behind and give in to the feeling you have been avoiding for so long? You hope so because you'd do anything to have Jungkook by your side. You can't have been the only one who felt the sexual after he drop you off. The atmosphere between you both was different and it had nothing to do with friendship.

You were sure of that

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#jungkook #angst #jungkook imagines #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook x you #imagines #bts #fluff #kpop angst #friends to lovers #2025

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writingforstraykids · 1 year ago

Note

I keep thinking about dilf!Felix like him being your besties dad or something….

-🎀

I swear I've been staring at this for so long, debating if I should do a full fic or just some thoughts. Well, thank my dear Azzy @galaxycatdrawz for this, because you made his thoughts go wild. Basically I just had to transform his whole little plan into a fic. There will be 2nd chapter (including smut) but have fun with this for now.🖤

Finding home in your heart

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader (mention of Minchan | Jisung)

Word Count: 7571

Summary: Felix got cheated on by his wife repeatedly and ends up heartbroken after the discovery. His adoptive daughter, your best friend, tells you the whole story and asks you to move in as you're struggling to find a place. Your only problem; you had a crush on Felix for ages and living with him isn't making it easier...

Warnings/Tags: angst, emotional hurt!comfort, fluff, insecure!lix, domestic shit, baking, cuddles, slowburn (ig?), first kiss, age difference (8 years, it's legal since this fic is for adults, chill out)

PART TWO

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

Felix’s love life had been nothing but a steady stream of predictable days blending into years. He would have never doubted his beautiful wife and would have never second-guessed her love for him. They had gotten married early and soon found out his wife was incapable of carrying his children. So, after some consideration, they adopted a young girl and raised her like their own. She had grown into a smart young woman, and Felix couldn’t be more proud of her. Given the age gap of only ten years he had always been rather close with her and later you, her best friend.

One night he decided to surprise his wife, coming home early as his daughter was staying at yours. What greeted him wasn’t the usual warmth and coziness of his home but the sight of his wife in a certain setting no man wants to find the love of his life in with another man. For a moment, Felix found himself frozen in place, the safe foundation of his life slowly crumbling away beneath his feet. He whispered her name in disbelief, only to find out that this had been going on for years. Felix felt like his whole life shattered to pieces and the betrayal left an ugly taste of bitterness on his lips. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this?

“And then she just left,” your best friend ends her story, and your eyes grow even wider than they have already been.

“You’re kidding?” you ask, shocked.

“Apparently, she said something about how this shit has been going on for years, that she never really loved him, and that she’ll leave until he finds a new place,” she rages on and paces her bedroom angrily. “Oh, and I’m just another burden he talked her into,” she scoffs, and your frown deepens.

“You won’t stay here, right?” you ask cautiously. You can’t imagine she will, but still.

“Oh, hell no. I’ll go with Dad, she can piss off,” she shakes her head and drops onto her mattress. “The perk of being not related to her is that I can push her out of my life for good,” she snorts, and you gently pat her back. “I feel so bad for him,” she sighs.

“It must’ve been a huge shock,” you nod, your heart feeling heavy. Felix has always been kind to you from day one. Whenever your family was struggling, he helped out, even if it was simply by taking you with them to theme parks, the movies, or shopping. Felix was only eight years older than you and ten years older than your best friend, so the older you got, the more he felt like an older friend instead of your best friend’s father. Also, he was stunningly handsome, but that wasn’t relevant right now.

“He’s trying to hide it, but I know how shitty he feels right now,” she tells you worriedly. “I mean, he’s never been with anyone else and-.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” you assure her gently. “He has such a kind heart, I’m sure someone will love him, truly.”

“I will thoroughly check the next person. You’ll have to help me then, go all detective on them,” she smirks, and you agree, laughing.

A gentle knock at the door interrupts you, and Felix opens the door flashing you a tired smile as a greeting before glancing at his daughter. “Channie called, he has a spare place we can have.”

“Just like that?” she asks baffled.

Felix chuckles weakly and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, just like that. I told him I’d pay, but Minho insisted they don’t need the place, and it’s all paid off.”

“How convenient,” she smirks and rolls her eyes. “Typical uncle Min,” she grins.

“Yeah,” he laughs and sighs softly. “You think you can get everything ready in the next few days?”

“You really can’t wait to get out of here, huh?” she laughs, and his smile dies, eyes clouding with pain.

“Yeah, I guess,” he nods and clears his throat as his daughter looks at him apologetically. “Well, let me know when you’re hungry, and we can order something,” he announces, putting on a smile and quickly pulling the door closed.

“See?” she whispers. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

You hum gently and pat your best friend’s knee. “Well, I can help you move, I have nothing to do those next few weeks.”

“You’re so sweet,” she giggles and hops up, ripping the door open. “Dad, Y/nnie says she’s gonna help us move our stuff!” she shouts downstairs.

“Lovely,” Felix shouts back halfheartedly and flinches as his daughter slams the door closed again. “Fucks sake, this woman,” he snorts and stands still in the living room for a moment. He chews on his lower lip as the many memories he made in this very room crash over him like a wave, trying to drown him. “You’re such a dumbass,” he whispers to himself.

“No, you’re not, she’s just a massive bitch,” you speak up gently, suddenly standing in the living room with him.

He blinks at you with wide, confused eyes before a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Mhm, you could say that. Doesn’t make me any wiser, letting her fool me for the past ten years,” he huffs softly and rubs his face. “I just feel bad for her,” he says, and you know he means your best friend upstairs. “All I always wanted for her was a stable home after everything she went through.”

“Look at her, you did great,” you tell him, and he chuckles weakly.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” he waves you off and blinks at you surprised as you offer him a hug. He accepts it after a short moment of hesitation and bites back a laugh as you pat his back encouragingly.

“You’ll be okay…she’ll never find someone better, so fuck her. It’s her loss,” you tell him, and Felix snorts before letting go of you and grabbing his phone.

“We’ll see,” he hums softly, subtly bringing some distance between the two of you again. “You’re gonna stay for dinner?” he asks, and you gently shake your head.

“I promised Mum I’d be home for dinner today,” you tell him, and he nods gently.

“You need a ride?” he offers, and you wave him off.

“I’ll be fine, promise,” you assure him and exchange your goodbyes.

One week later

You put down the boxes you carried inside and look around with wide eyes. “Wow, Min wasn’t lying. This place is huge.”

“Right? I didn’t quite believe it as well,” your best friend giggles and puts down her boxes as well.

“Why would I lie about that, huh?” Minho asks playfully offended, adding some boxes on the floor next to yours. “You think we’d give your dad and you some shabby place? You think that lowly of us?”

Chan pokes his side, making him squeak and giggles as Minho playfully raises his fists to fight him. “Relax, no one’s calling you a liar, baby.”

“Sure hope so,” he teases and naturally intertwines their hands, pulling Chan with him. “You haven’t seen the view from up here yet,” he announces and waves you after him.

You follow the pair of them onto the huge balcony, and your breath hitches. From up here, you can see parts of the city and the ocean, and still it’s so peaceful up here.

“How’s your dad, kiddo?” Minho asks your best friend after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Worse than he admits,” she answers, and Minho hums gently. “If you ask me, he’s fucking heartbroken and feels worthless. If you ask him, he’s okay and just a little caught up in his thoughts,” she further explains.

“Give him time,” Chan tells her gently and sighs, looking down at the ocean. “Ten years is a lot, you know?”

The door to the balcony opens, and Felix steps outside, laughing at you all. “Seriously? You’re out here enjoying the view while I’m carrying all those boxes?” he asks, and you all start laughing before hurrying back inside to help him.

Once everything is inside, Minho and Chan give you a tour through the house and you wonder what Felix and your friend would do with all this space. The couple soon leaves again to give them some space to settle in.

Your best friend strolls through the house and frowns softly. “You’re alright?” Felix asks her, frowning softly. “I know it’s not home, but we can make it work, it’ll just need some time and-.”

“Dad, home is wherever you are, relax,” she laughs, and Felix nods, stunned, looking adorably touched by her words. “I just…this place is huge.”

“It is,” he nods. “I have no idea what the hell they had planned for this.”

“Nothing useful, as Min put it,” you chime in, and Felix grins at your remark.

“I’ll feel so lonely here if you’re at work,” she speaks up after a moment, and Felix’s face softens.

“Dear, there’ll be a point in your life when you move out and everything. I won’t always be around,” he says, and she glares at him.

“Don’t say shit like that, you’re only ten years older than I am, it’ll take a while,” she points out, and he snorts but gives in, remaining quiet. “Y/nnie, how’s the hunt for a flat going?” she asks.

“I already told you it’s shit,” you sigh softly, not quite picking up on her true intentions behind that question. “It’s either too expensive or so much out of town it’s not exactly convenient.”

“Oh, you’re going to move out?” Felix asks, busying himself with one of the boxes.

“I want to, my parents could use the space for something else,” you nod.

“Dad?” she asks, drawing out the word with a sweet tone.

“What do you want?” he asks, not even looking up.

“She could move in with us,” she says, and you frown at her. Felix looks up, confused, and tilts his head at her. “She can’t find a place, I worry about getting lonely here…you could use some more company as well before you’re fully depressed and-.”

“Will you stop?” he snaps at her. “I’m not depressed, I’m fine besides the fact that I got cheated on after wasting ten years of my life,” he continues and shakes his head at her. “Stop reading into it that much, I’ll start believing you at this point.”

You lower your gaze at the floor and awkwardly shuffle on your feet. “Gosh, relax,” she sighs. “That just proved my point.”

Felix throws the contents of the box back inside and pushes himself up. “I’m getting some fresh air. And yes, you can move in if you want to, it’s not like we’d lack space or whatever,” he says before leaving the two of you.

“Nice one,” you sigh softly.

“What?” she groans and rolls her eyes. “You know I’m right.”

“And that makes it better?” you chuckle, and she huffs softly. “Fine, fine, I’ll go apologize…but would you?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh softly. “I’d feel like I’m intruding,” you argue gently.

“Never,” she shakes her head firmly. “Also, you’re here every day anyway, so nothing changes,” she grins before sighing softly. “Dad?” she shouts, and you roll your eyes at her.

Should you? Move in with your best friend and her heartbroken, conveniently handsome adoptive father? That could only go wrong, right?

You join them on the balcony and sigh softly, meeting your best friend’s eyes. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

She shouts in joy and pulls you into a tight hug, hopping excitedly. “You’re the best best friend I could’ve ever wished for!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chuckle and roll your eyes playfully, catching Felix smirking at the two of you.

Three weeks later

You hum to yourself as you make your way from the kitchen to the living room area. Your best friend is staying the night at her boyfriend’s, and Felix is out on Stray Kids duty, as you jokingly call it. So, for now, you have the whole house to yourself. You moved in fully about two weeks ago, and your new room is bigger than you ever dared to imagine. There’s an attached bathroom as well, and your few things look ridiculous, trying to fill up all that space you have now.

You grab your phone and check your messages before scrolling through some news. Refreshing the page, a new article appears on top, and you realize it’s about Felix. Curiously, you click on it, and your eyes widen, realizing it’s about what happened with his wife. You read through it and smile sadly; Felix seems to have tried putting it as respectfully and vague as he could. You don’t support what that woman did for years one bit, but you also know how their fans can get so you’re glad Felix tries to stay neutral in public.

You glance up from your phone as the front door opens downstairs, and Felix comes up the stairs only a little later. Looking at him, you can tell he was crying, and your heart sinks to your stomach, seeing how tired he looks. His eyes meet yours, and you swallow softly as he stops in his tracks as if he just remembered you live here as well. “You’re okay?” you ask softly, and for the first time in weeks, Felix shakes his head.

“Not really, no,” he admits, his voice a little raspy. You can tell he’s fighting back tears, and you gently pat the spot next to you on the sofa. Felix momentarily searches your eyes before moving forward and dropping down on the sofa next to you. “I know it’s my own fault because I took off my wedding ring but I didn’t expect them to ask already,” he tells you quietly and nervously fidgets with his hands. “Chan told me to be honest before she comes up with something that’ll drag me down.”

“I think you’ve handled it quite well,” you tell him gently, and he groans in response.

“Already online, huh?” he sighs, and you hum softly. Felix throws his head back against the sofa and stares up at the ceiling. You can’t help but take in his side profile and let your eyes wander down his neck. “I hate this.”

“Hate what?” you ask gently.

“I have to have an explanation for everything as if I’d know why she cheated. Maybe it’s because I’ve been gone often with all our schedules. Maybe she got bored. Maybe she just saw past that facade of fame and sunshine behavior and realized I’m not as lovable as everyone thinks I am,” he huffs, making you frown at him. “Maybe she never loved me in the first place, and I can’t even blame her for that.”

“Stop it now,” you scold him firmly and Felix turns his head, blinking at you. “Have you ever considered that maybe she’s just a massive bitch and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you?”

“Not really, no,” he shakes his head and sits up straight again. “That’s rather unlikely, isn’t it? There’s always a reason people cheat.”

“Sometimes it’s simply stupidity,” you insist. “Not everything is your fault, Felix.”

“Why does it feel like it then?” he asks quietly, and your heart breaks at the desperate glint in his eyes. “Why does it feel like I’m the one who fucked it all up? And why doesn’t she care one bit, and I’m here feeling like complete shit?”

“Because you loved her,” you say quietly and watch his face fall. “She didn’t try to make it right, did she? She didn’t protest when you suggested a divorce.” Felix shakes his head, eyes brimming with tears. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe she never loved you for who you truly are. Maybe all she saw was the fame, the money, the places you went to…but how is that your fault?”

“I…I should’ve known,” he says quietly, his lower lip quivering a little.

“You can’t know that shit if they’re good at hiding and pretending. Who knows how long she could’ve kept up that show if you hadn’t come home early that day?” you ask, and Felix avoids your observant gaze, staring down at his hands. “The only thing you’re at fault for is beating yourself up for this and thinking you’re worthless.”

Felix remains quiet and presses his lips together tightly as hot tears run down his cheeks. His hair falls into his face as his head hangs low, and you can only tell as he sniffles softly. You hesitantly reach out for him and rub his back soothingly. Felix whispers an apology and buries his face in his hands, a quiet sob rippling through his body. You don’t know where you get the confidence from, but you move before you can reconsider what you’re about to do. Wrapping your arm around him, you pull him into a warm embrace and gently rub his shoulder. Felix tenses up briefly before he relaxes into your touch, allowing himself the comfort you spend.

It doesn’t last for all too long, and Felix pushes himself off the sofa, messily wiping his cheeks. “Sorry, I shouldn’t-,” he stammers and exhales shakily. “I shouldn’t dump this all on you.”

“I don’t-” you start and shut your mouth as he raises his hand to stop you.

“I know you don’t mind. I know,” he says and shakily wipes his cheek. “That doesn’t make it any better. I appreciate you trying to help, but I’ll go before I start unloading even more nonsense,” he sniffles and flashes you a sad smile. “Thank you, though.”

“You’re welcome,” you nod gently and watch him leave. Only then do you notice your heart racing in your chest and the wet patch of his tears in your sweater. “So much to keeping boundaries, Y/n,” you scold yourself, rubbing your face tiredly.

Felix closes the door to his room and buries his face in his hands with a soft groan. “What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers and stands still for a moment. What is he doing, sobbing in his daughter’s best friend’s arms? Is he going insane? Felix closes his eyes and tries to forget how comfortable your hug felt, how good you smelled, and how soothing your presence was to him. “Fuck,” he whispers into the emptiness of his room.

One week later

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you walk down the hallway, clutching your visitor pass. Your best friend asked you to pick up Felix from work tonight because she had to work late and would then stay at her boyfriend's again. Would he think weirdly of you for it? He's been avoiding you a little after that emotional breakdown a week ago, and you can't blame him.

You reach Chan's studio and knock gently, letting yourself in.

“Oh, Y/nnie,” Chan greets you cheerfully.

“Haven't seen you here in a while,” Minho adds curiously.

“Yeah, uh, I have to pick up Felix,” you say, and they frown.

“I thought-”

“No, she's working late and staying at her boyfriend's or something like that,” you shrug your shoulders.

“She asks you to move in so she isn't lonely and leaves all the time,” Minho shakes his head, amused. “Well, at least someone's keeping an eye on Lix, then.”

“Mhm, yeah,” you nod. “Where is he?”

“In the practice room down the hallway. Uh…he's in a shit mood today,” Minho tells you.

“Define shit mood,” you chuckle.

“Everything is shit, nothing works, he's useless,” Chan sighs softly and shakes his head. “We tried.”

You sigh heavily and roll your eyes. “Fine, I'll do my best.”

“Good luck,” Chan giggles.

Only a little later, you open the door to the practice room and slip inside. You frown as you spot Felix stretched out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. “I swear, Channie, if you're here to tell me another bad joke that's supposed to make me laugh, I'll snap,” he announces.

You stop next to him and tilt your head at him. “Not Channie,” you say. “What's that supposed to be?” you ask, vaguely waving at his current position.

“It's my new favorite yoga position called utter depression,” he says dryly and throws you a peace sign. “That's I'm a failure, what's your name?”

“Chan wasn't lying,” you nod slowly.

“Did Chan call you? Seriously?” he asks, sitting up on his elbows.

“No. In fact, it was your lovely daughter asking me to come pick you up. She's working late, and then she'll stay over at her boyfriend's.”

“I still can't believe she asked you to move in so she wouldn't be lonely, and now she's barely home,” Felix snorts and groans softly.

“Mhm, you guys are repeating yourselves, Min said the same thing,” you tell him and gently poke his side with your shoe. “What's going on, Mr. utter depression?”

“Nothing, as you can see,” he sighs. “I fucked up during practice today. Minho only didn't call me out for all the mistakes because he felt sorry for me at the time,” he tells you.

“And that led you down the good old road to self-hatred?” you ask, sitting down on the floor next to him.

“Maybe,” he answers vaguely.

“Surely,” you correct him. “Lix?” you ask gently, and he turns his head toward you. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No,” he shakes his head as his eyes trace your features.

“We could take a walk and grab some food on the way. We don't have to talk or anything. It's just for you to clear your head and empty all that garbage you keep up there,” you tell him, tugging a small smile at the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, okay,” he nods.

You exchange your goodbyes with Min and Chan, who secretly throw some hearts your way when Felix isn't looking. Idiots.

After that evening, it all got easier again. You didn't talk much that day, but the fresh air, bright lights, and warm food had lightened Felix's mood immensely. Over the following two weeks, you two grew closer, and Felix allowed himself to be more open. With your best friend gone quite frequently, it was often only you and him.

The more time you spent together, the more you realized how ridiculously perfect Felix was. His beautiful brown eyes, soft features adorned by all those sweet freckles, and blond hair falling around his face made your stomach flip. His sweet smile and even prettier laugh made you feel like winning a trophy every time you were the reason for it. He's so kind and polite that it makes your head spin.

Felix can't quite stop himself from looking at you whenever you don't notice. The more time you spend, the more he notices how beautiful you are. How caring and gentle. Your smile brightens his days and he can't fully shake the longing to be in your arms again off. He hasn't felt as comfortable around someone in a while, and there's a lingering worry in the back of his head telling him that he really shouldn't allow himself to fall for you. It only gets worse watching you doing the most mundane things and wishing that you wouldn't leave again.

Another two weeks later your best friend announces she'll be abroad for a holiday with her boyfriend for two weeks. Two weeks. It'll only be Felix and you for fourteen days. That thought wasn't helping your anxious heart, trying not to fall for him at all.

You decided to make the best out of it and forget about your worries. Seeing Felix smile again was all that counted.

The first morning, Felix tiredly strolls down the hallway from his room and stops in his tracks when he sees you at the stove. A sweet scent lingers in the kitchen, and he realizes you're making pancakes for breakfast. His heart picks up pace, and he takes a deep breath, reminding himself to act normal. “Morning,” he says, not knowing that his even deeper morning voice sends shivers down your spine.

“Good morning,” you smile at him, bright as ever. He has to look somewhere else to stop himself from blushing. “Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes,” you tell him, and he hums softly.

Felix sits down at the kitchen island and watches you thoughtfully. It's ridiculous how used to your presence he got over the past few weeks. Almost as if he couldn't imagine it any other way anymore. “Do you have any plans for today?” he asks and you shake your head as you put the pancakes on a big plate.

“Why?” you ask curiously and turn off the stove.

“Uh, I was thinking about painting her room since she wanted a new color so badly…I was wondering if you'd like to help?” he asks nervously.

You put down the plate and nod. “Sure, why not?”

Felix flashes you a sweet smile and thanks you as you hand him a plate with some pancakes. They're so fluffy they almost melt on his tongue, and he has trouble biting back a moan. “Oh, they're amazing,” he tells you and notices the subtle blush settling on your cheeks.

“Thank you,” you smile almost shyly.

Seriously, can't you give him a break?

After breakfast, Felix takes a quick shower, and you put on some clothes that could be ruined by the paint. You meet again in your best friend's room, and you smile at how soft Felix looks in a pair of gray sweatpants and a wide sweater. You pull all the furniture away from the walls, covering everything up before Felix shows you how to apply the paint properly. In the beginning, you're both quietly working and it feels peaceful, just focusing on painting for now. Then Felix starts talking, trying to kill the silence. “I signed the divorce papers yesterday,” he says casually, and you need a moment to figure out how to answer.

“Congratulations?” you chuckle, and he laughs, realizing how out of pocket this has been.

“Sorry, that was pretty random,” he apologizes.

“No, it's fine. I'm glad you did,” you say, and he glances at you, making you ramble on quickly. “I mean, it's the right thing to do. Did you settle on anything? Does she demand stuff?”

“If she doesn't want my legal team to be less nice about the reason we're getting a divorce than I was, then she won't,” he tells you and sighs softly. “She has the old house, and I don't have to pay her anything. I'm glad when we're done with the whole process,” he admits tiredly.

“I bet you are,” you nod gently. “You deserve some peace after everything,” you say, and he hums softly, pressing his lips together briefly. “We can stop talking about it,” you assure him gently, and Felix nods thankfully.

“We need more paint,” he states.

“Well, we should let this dry anyway for today,” you nod and flash him a gentle smile. “We could go buy some more and then call it a day?”

“Sounds good,” he nods, rubbing his face tiredly, and turns toward you fully now.

“You've got some paint on your cheek,” you say, and he blindly reaches out to wipe it off. He doesn't quite get it and you step in front of him, reaching out for him. “Let me help,” you say and gently rub your thumb over his cheek, wiping the still fresh paint off.

Felix freezes in place, staring at you as you do so. He feels like the world stops for a moment but then your soft touch is already gone again. He exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding in and follows you outside. Fucks sake.

You wander through the store next to him and you end up buying some more stuff to decorate the house a little more. Felix's phone rings and you can tell it's Chan by the way his face lights up. He nudges your side after a moment. “You're hungry?”

“I could eat,” you nod.

“Min and Chan ask if we wanna stop by,” he tells you, and you shrug your shoulders.

“Sure, why not?”

Only shortly after, you reach their house, and your eyes widen, spotting the two small kittens on the carpet. “Oh, you have new ones?” you ask excitedly and Minho looks at you as if he's going to hit you.

“Or not?” you ask, chuckling.

Chan gently pokes his cheek and grins at you. “Yeah, we got them like a week ago,” he nods, and you crouch down as they make their way over.

“Can I hold them?” you ask, looking at Minho, and his face softens.

“If they let you,” he nods and tells you to sit down on the floor.

He picks up the first one and gently hands it over to you, making sure you hold it right. “He's usually very calm, so if you don't move too quickly, you should be fine,” he tells you and sits down, grabbing the second one. “She's a little rascal,” he smirks and gently scratches her head.

“They're so tiny,” you say, amazed.

“Here, he loves those,” Chan says, handing you a little treat.

You hold out your hand for the kitten, and he doesn't waste much time. You giggle at his tiny tongue licking over your palm and beam at Minho excitedly. Chan passes Minho and gently runs his hand through his hair mindlessly. Minho smiles softly and looks up at him so full of love you can't help but wish you'd find someone you shared the same type of deep love with. “Wanna help me set the table, Lix?” he asks, and Felix hums, following him, not after a quick glance in your direction to make sure you're alright.

Soon after, you're all gathered around the table, and you all thank Minho for cooking. Chan glances at Felix after a while and seems to debate whether he should ask what's going through his head. “Lix?” he asks, and his friend turns toward him. “How are you holding up?”

“I'm fine,” he smiles tiredly, and you know the question starts to bother him by now.

“You said that from day one,” Minho chuckles and tilts his head at him.

“No, I am. I signed the papers yesterday and then soon it'll all be over,” he explains.

“Have you met anyone new?” Minho asks curiously. “I mean, it's been almost two months.”

“Mhm, after ten years of a fake marriage. I still have time, don't you think?” he asks sourly.

Chan steps in, trying to ease the mood. “We're just worried about you getting lonely, Lix,” he tells him.

“I'd rather be lonely than that,” he says and rolls his eyes at them. “Not everyone finds the one and lives happily ever after from day one on,” he says, looking at the two of them.

“That's hardly realistic, nothing was perfect from day one,” Minho shakes his head.

“Not really, no,” Chan snorts and winks at him.

“Well, you're not me, so…,” Felix says quietly, and the mood changes.

“Meaning?” Minho asks patiently, even though you can tell he’d rather punch some sense into him.

Felix puts down his chopsticks and sighs heavily. “I'm way too emotional, I'm too shy to approach anyone or initiate anything further, I mess up stuff constantly and-.”

“Will you stop?” you cut him off, and everyone looks at you as if they're remembering you're still here. “You keep on talking shit about yourself, and you don't even realize you're letting her win.”

“I'm not letting her—” he frowns. Chan is about to speak up, but Minho stops him, resting his hand on his.

“Yes, you are. She used you for years, and you're still letting her by making it all your fault. As if she had no other choice but to go off and fuck around with whoever she found moderately fuckable,” you say, and he blinks at you, stunned as Chan chokes on his breath. “You're talented at what you do, you're hardworking, and you're one of the most caring people I know. You didn't have to, but you always made me feel at home when I visited your daughter. You haven't done any differently since I moved in, and as long as you aren't talking shit about yourself, you're pretty funny. And-.”

“Y/nnie,” he says softly, and it's the first time he's called you that. “Eat up; it's going to get cold.”

You quickly shut your mouth, ears burning up as you realize you've just been pretty open in front of Minho and Chan. “Yeah, okay, you better shut up then…respectfully.”

“Message received,” he smiles gently.

Minho raises his eyebrows and glances at Chan before moving his eyes between the two of you. Chan frowns before his eyes widen, and he squints at him. Minho widens his eyes and puts on a little passive aggressively encouraging smile, signaling him that, yes, he is VERY right about this.

“You can stop the eye fuckery over there, I'll get sick,” Felix calls them out, and you frown softly at Minho's mischievous grin.

“Y/n, what about you?” Minho asks curiously.

“You're playing cupid as a side business, or what is this?” you ask right back.

“Simply interested,” he gives back.

“I'm single if you must know so badly, and no, my self-esteem isn't drowning as much as Lix’s,” you say, and Felix pokes your side, protesting softly.

Chan watches you quietly before glancing at his husband and humming softly. Minho simply smirks.

Later, when it's time to leave, you hold your hand out for Felix, and he tilts his head at you questioningly. “Keys, please,” you smile.

“Huh?” he asks, amused.

“You had two drinks, I didn't have any, and I'm driving,” you tell him, stretching your hand out once more.

“Listen to her, Yongbokie,” Minho tells him, and Felix gives in and hands you the keys.

“That was really sweet,” Felix says, almost too quiet to hear.

“The kittens?” you giggle.

“Mhm, yeah, they too,” he nods and glances over at you. “I meant what you said…I uh... thanks.”

“Oh,” you nod and feel your heart warming at the softness in his eyes. “I meant it.”

“I know,” he whispers and can barely meet your eyes.

“You should give yourself more credit. Try seeing yourself through the eyes of the people you mean something to from time to time,” you say, parking the car in front of the house.

Felix looks at you, a little stunned. “I mean something to you?” he asks softly.

“Well, of course you do, Lixie,” you smile and lean over, brushing his hair back for him.

“Yeah?” he asks, eyes traveling down to your lips before he can fight it.

“Mhm,” you hum softly and search his eyes. Suddenly, you move forward and your lips meet in a soft kiss that has him melting in his seat. He reaches up to bury his hand into your hair and-.

“Felix? Felix, wake up,” you say gently.

“Huh?” he asks confused.

“Wake up, Lix, come on,” you say softly, daring to brush a loose strand from his face. “Come on, let's get you upstairs.”

Felix blinks at you drowsily and needs a moment to realize he's been dreaming—dreaming of kissing you. His face burns up red with embarrassment as your gentle eyes meet his, and he shoots out of his seat. “Yeah, sorry,” he stammers, and you watch him a little confused.

“You're okay?” you ask, closing the door for him.

“Sure, why wouldn't I be?” he asks, laughing nervously. Don't look at the lips. Don't.

“Man, you're weird when you get woken up,” you shake your head and unlock the front door, letting him in. Felix stumbles taking off his shoes, making you laugh. “Is alcohol having such an effect on you?”

“Mhm, yeah,” he lies, spotting his lifeline.

“Well, let's get you to bed then,” you say and gently pat his back, shoving him inside.

“I'll make it on my own, thank you,” he quickly says and wishes you a good night. He throws himself face forward onto his bed and groans into his blanket. “Fuck, no, Lix, you can't.” He turns onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, brushing his fingers over his lips. Groaning softly, he fumbles for his phone; he needs some clarity now.

“It's late, what the fuck, mate?”

“Jisungie, I fucked up,” Felix whines softly.

“Oh, please don't tell me you're drunk,” Jisung sighs softly. “Do I have to pick you up somewhere?”

“No,” he quickly assures him. “I just…there's this certain someone I can't stop thinking about, and…Ji, it's wrong!”

“I don't like the sound of this,” he states calmly. “Go on.”

And Felix does, spilling all his hurt, feelings of emptiness, and worthlessness. Telling him how you mend his heart, fill his entire being with happiness, and make him feel loveable. He confesses how he can't stop thinking about you, worrying how messed up this could get.

Jisung lets him ramble on and nods gently once he's done. “That's fucked up, mate.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“No, I don't think you know how bad that bitch fucked you up,” Jisung says, and Felix is too stunned to speak for a second. “Fucks sake, Lix! Where's my pretty boy getting all the girls, huh? When did you get all shy and scared? Did she fuck up your self-esteem that badly?”

“Ji, you're missing the point here,” he insists. “Everyone would think I'm using her, she's eight years younger. They'll make her a victim and-.”

“Lix,” he cuts him off firmly. “I'm that victim you're describing here, you do know that, right? My hubby is ten years older, Hyune’s wife is six years younger, and no one gives a fuck,” he tells him. “The thing you really can't take is the fact that she's your daughter's best friend.”

“That surely doesn't help,” he groans.

“Well, technically-.”

“She's my daughter, you can try and twist this how you want,” he shakes his head. “And she'll hate me if I act upon my feelings for Y/n.”

“All she wanted was for you to be happy. Why not with Y/nnie?” he asks gently. “Listen, buddy, you gotta figure out what you really want and then act accordingly. Stop sending her signals if you don't want this to evolve into something more.”

“I know,” he sighs softly. Fuck.

“Can you get the eggs?” you ask him as you pour some sugar into a bowl, weighing its content as you do.

“Sure,” Felix nods and his hand rests on your lower back for a brief moment, notifying you of him standing behind you to stop you from bumping into him.

You swallow softly at the lingering touch, and it's already gone again before you can't think much of it. Felix got home from the studio about an hour ago, and you two decided to surprise your best friend with a cake for her birthday tomorrow. At least she had planned to come back again for it. After quickly buying the ingredients, you two got busy in the kitchen. He's unusually clumsy, your hands brushed against each other four times already since you've started and you already bumped heads, both wanting to grab something off the floor he dropped. The brief touches and his soft eyes combined with that shy smile are slowly driving you insane.

Once you're all done you put it in the oven and set a timer, cleaning up the kitchen for now. You'll still need a few things for the icing later but you get rid of most of the mess for now. After loading the dishwasher, the 25 minutes are over, and Felix carefully takes it out. You leave it there to cool and throw yourself on the sofa.

Felix joins you and turns on the TV, putting on the next episode of the series you've recently started watching together. After a while, your head slowly drops onto his shoulder and it takes him a moment to realize you fell asleep. He cautiously wraps his arm around you to make you more comfortable and lets you rest against his chest. He tries not to think too much of it and chews on his lower lip nervously as he tries to pay attention to the screen.

As much as he tries to fight it, he's exhausted from their intense practice today, and his eyes grow heavier with every minute. It doesn't take long and he falls asleep as well, getting more comfortable and dragging you down with him in his sleep.

You wake up in his arms, your head resting on his chest. Your eyes widen in shock, and you fight the urge to jump up and get as far away from him as possible. You barely dare to lift your head. Glancing down at him, your heart skips a beat at how soft and vulnerable he looks in his sleep. His chest is slowly rising and falling, his hair hangs into his face and he looks so soft it makes you want to squish his cheeks. You admire the beautiful freckles painting his face as the fading sun caresses his golden skin. Gosh, he's pretty.

He moves in his sleep, tightening his grip around you and rolling you both onto your sides. Burying his face in your neck, he lets out a content sigh and pulls you in close. You bite your lip and curse yourself for wanting this so badly. You should really wake him up…but you couldn't. Not when he had a long day and finally got some rest. Not when he looked this content and peaceful. You couldn't.

You timidly rest your chin on his fluffy hair and wait for a moment, but he doesn't seem to mind. Carefully, you fondle his back and rest your hand between his shoulder blades. He doesn't stir one bit, and you decide to try sleeping some more as well.

You wake up again when he stretches in your arms, pulling back with a soft groan. Felix squints at you drowsily before he slowly picks up on your current situation. A blush creeps up his neck and colors his cheeks and ears. He pulls away and rolls onto his back with a soft sound, rubbing his face tiredly. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“For what?” you ask gently.

“Uh…this,” he awkwardly gestures between the two of you. “I uh…I tend to get cuddly when I fall asleep. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or-.”

“You didn't,” you say firmly, and he slowly glances at you.

“No?” he asks quietly.

“Not at all,” you assure him, and he hums gently in response. “You seemed like you needed it, so I let you sleep a little longer.”

“Oh,” he nods dumbly and searches your eyes timidly. “Okay.”

“Yeah,” you nod and smile at him. “I think we can finish the cake by now.”

“Probably,” he laughs and sits up.

The pair of you soon gets busy in the kitchen again and Felix turns on the mixer to finish the icing for the cake. It's a little too fast, and some of it lands on his sweater. “Fucks sake,” he curses softly before slowing it down.

You laugh at him, and he turns to you, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, you got some on your face,” you giggle and step in front of him. You cup his face gently with one hand, rubbing your other thumb across the icing on his forehead. “Keep still, Lixie,” you say and don't quite notice his lips parting at the new nickname. You move further down, wiping the bits on his cheek off, and only then you meet his eyes. They're wide and filled with thousands of questions and insecurities. “You're okay?” you ask worriedly.

Felix blinks at you before very slowly shaking his head. “I'm not okay,” he says, and you turn off the mixer, bathing the room in silence.

“What's wrong?” you ask and want to pull your hand off his face, but his hand wraps around your wrist keeping you there.

“I…,” he trails off, sinking deeper into your eyes, and you can see the sudden longing in them. It's pure and innocent, making you all dizzy the longer you look at him. “You're driving me nuts,” he confesses.

“Breathe,” you tell him before experimentally brushing your thumb over his lips. He exhales shuddery, eyes fluttering close at your touch. “Can I kiss you?” you ask.

“What?” he squeaks, eyes snapping back open.

“You heard me,” you say and tilt your head at him. “Can I?” Felix gulps before nodding timidly. You close the distance between the two of you, and your lips brush against his. A soft, quiet sound escapes him and then you're cupping his face and kissing him. Felix melts into the kiss, body searching yours as he grips your waist and stumbles a little, shoving you against the kitchen counter. He pulls back only to catch his breath and presses his forehead against yours. “You're okay?” you ask again. This time, he nods.

“Yeah,” he whispers with a soft smile. “I'm okay...”

PART TWO

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kailee08 @mal-lunar-28 @lilmisssona @aaa-sia @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @michelle4eve @lixie-phoria @xxstrayland @kibs-and-bits @mellhwang @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @palindrome969 @harshaaaaa

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sweetadonisbutbetter · 1 year ago

Note

Adam hcs but the third time IS the charm

The moment his girlfriend heard about what happened to his past wives she vowed that she'll be the best lover for him, and she delivered

Please, give this man a happy ending because I need to see him happy

JSD;GDZF i wanted to do this sooo badly when i was writing the harlot reader HC's AND NOW I CAN RAHHHH fr tho the amount of soft adam ask are seriously making me giggle and spin around my room plz keep sending them. If you haven't read it, ask is referecing this post

You and only you | Adam x Fem!Reader

Relationship: Romantic Warnings: NONE ADAM JUST ADAM AND HIS LOVELY GF (you)

You didn’t know why Adam was so clingy. From the moment you woke up, Adam was around you.

Not that you didn’t enjoy his attention, you relished it. However, he was ever clingy, and hovering over you. It was beginning to get overstimulating for you.

It took you to the point of almost snapping and asking him what his deal was. Instead, you took a second to calm down and talk to him. It didn’t take long for you to get your answer.

“Adam, please. I just need a moment.” You say, rubbing your temple with a hand as you push your boyfriend off of you with the other. He whines and pouts as he moves across the room, no longer near you. It took you a bit to realize that he was in the corner, only realizing it when you heard a sniffle. You look at him, concerned. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

You make your way to your boyfriend and bend down to the floor. You try to peek at his face, but he turns away. You notice that he used his hand to wipe something on his face and put your hand on him to comfort him. He doesn’t say anything, as he begins to cry a little more audibly now. Alarmed, you touch his face and turn him to look at you. Now facing you, you see that he has tears running down his face, his nose runny and red. Wiping away his tears, you look him over.

“Babycakes? What happened?” You coo, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. He avoids your gaze, finding the floor interesting as you pull his face in closer, trying to get an answer. With a huff, possibly out of embarrassment, he answered.

“I just felt…similar to how I felt before Eve ended things.” You looked at him stunned. While you had been dating for a few years, you both never inquired about your past relationships. You and your ex-husband ended things healthily, willing to say hello as you passed one another. Adam knew that there was nothing between the both of you. You never had to explain to him in detail what happened, just that your marriage from when you were alive was no more. On the other hand, you knew nothing of Adam’s relationship with Eve or even Lilith. You obviously never met Lilith, only hearing about her from word of mouth, but Eve was nowhere to be seen. All you know about his relationship with her is that she was the one who initiated the divorce. “'m just scared you’re going to leave too.”

You pull him in for a tight hug, shocking him. He takes a moment before hugging you in return. You both hold each other for a while before he breaks it. Sniffling, he rubs his nose and looks at you, the soft smile that was reserved for you on his face. You give him one in turn and hold one of his hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He does, he tells you about his relationship with Lilith. How in the beginning, he wasn’t the massive dick he was (to which you think at least he is self-aware) and loved Lilith. Both of them were headstrong, yet they loved one another, or at least he thought they did. When it was revealed to Adam that Lilith had gone behind his back and formed a relationship with an Angel, causing them both to fall, he was heartbroken.

It took the angels promising him a new wife to even get slightly better. But by the time Eve was born, Adam wasn’t the same person and didn’t treat Eve as he ought to. Not that he abused her, but he wasn’t the nicest to her. When she proposed the divorce, it still hurt him. He knew that the relationship was on its downfall, but he didn’t think it was to the point of no return

He confides in you about his insecurities, and how he believes that he is the reason for his past relationships' downfall. How no matter how much of a dick he was, he didn’t want to risk losing you.

You spent the whole evening holding him as he bore the very essence of his being to you. Becoming the man he once was, before he died, before Eve, and before Lilith. He cried like a baby that he never was, and you were there to soothe him.

That night, as you both held each other in your arms, you couldn’t help but make one wish to heaven and the stars. A wish that you didn’t think the heavens could support alone. You wished for the help of comforting Adam, restoring his broken confidence in love.

From that day on, you vowed to be the very best lover that Adam ever had.

You figured out that his love languages were words of affirmation and physical touch, so you set out to do small things for him. Giving him small gifts, kissing his cheek when he wasn’t expecting it, and complimenting his body.

You encouraged him to have more conversations about what was bothering him, giving him the space to open his chest whole for you to glimpse into his essence.

Eventually, he began to return your actions by complimenting your love languages. He was even less of a dick, which allowed some of the saints to actually hold a conversation with him.

Through your love and work, he was slowly becoming a better version of himself.

You fixed your outfit and hair through the mirror. Both you and Adam had gotten into the routine of having date nights, some in your shared home, others out at a nice restaurant. Tonight was a night that Adam had planned all on his own, just telling you to get ready. You were done getting ready, now waiting for your boyfriend.

“Adam!” You yelled to him, who you assumed was in your bedroom. “Are you sure we are going to make it?”

“Relax sugar tits,” He says, entering the living room. He was dressed similarly to you, wearing a maroon color that matched your outfit. Long gone was his mask, now showing his handsome face, his scruff trimmed and his hair slicked back. He had a thin jacket for you and his regular leather jacket draped over his arms as he walked up to you. Kissing you on the head, he looked at you through the mirror as you looked over yourself once more. “We will get there. Reservation isn’t for another 45 minutes.”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, taking in his features. You brushed off some imaginary dirt off his shoulder as you placed your arms over his shoulders. Resting your forehead on his, you let out a breath.

“Sorry. I just…don’t want to be late. This the nicest restaurant in heaven, and I don’t want our evening to be ruined because our table was given away.” You say, closing your eyes. You feel Adam move his head as he kisses for forehead once more and lifts your head to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it. Even if our table is given away, we can always have a lazy night in.” He puts his hand on your cheek, a touch you lean into. You both stare at one another before you lean in for a kiss. Adam smiles into the kiss and puts his other hand on your waist, pulling you in. You hum and try to stop the kiss. Reluctantly, he pulls away from the kiss, his lips now red and glossy from your lip stain. “Or…we could fuck the restaurant and just do each other.”

Wiggling his eyebrows, you laugh and hit his shoulder.

“No. You planned tonight, and I don’t want to miss it.” He shrugs and backs away a bit, no longer pressed up against you. Grabbing your hand, he begins to lead you out of your home. You talk with one another as you leave, you unaware of the box in his back pocket, inside a ring of your favorite gem with an engraving on the band.

‘You and only you’

also so sorry ig he is OOC 😭😭😭 everytime i write him, he strays further from canon LOLOLOL

#hazbin hotel x reader #Hazbin Hotel Adam x reader #adam x reader #☾adoniswrites #anon ask #anon request

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springgirlshowers · 9 months ago

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Cool About It

Summary: You’re face to face with your ex outside of a bar after three years of no contact, is there any point of talking to him?

Pairing: Joost x Reader

CW: smoking, cursing, arguing, poorly proofread, angst with a happy ending tho! ;P

WC: 1,935

A/N: i can’t write a summary for the life of me + wooooo feeling angsty tonight guys

When Joost left he told you he would be gone for a long time. You knew that of course.

He told you he would have to leave and travel constantly if he wanted his career to grow, which you were fine with. You wanted nothing more than to see it happen.

With school and working for yourself, you weren’t able to come along with Joost on his tour and to the festivals he was performing at. That was okay with you!

As long as you could still text and call and video chat with him you were fine. Of course, you absolutely missed him during it, but you could put up with the temporary long distance.

However Joost, felt the opposite apparently.

To be fair, you knew it was gonna be difficult being together yet so far apart.

Joost ended things with you, telling you he didn’t think your relationship with him would work constantly being gone. He'd also told you not to take it personally, and you had. Like an idiot.

You were heartbroken at first. Crying and pitying yourself, questioning why he did it. Even though he already gave you an answer.

Soon your sadness turned to anger, it never changed after that. You’ve been angry at him since he sent that text.

Joost <3: I don’t think this is working

It was a piss poor way of breaking up, the delivery of it was shitty enough, it being over text just made it worse.

The way he worded some of the things he said for his reasoning made it feel like you were a rock in his shoe, or an obstacle in his path to fame.

Yet, you were civil with him when he broke up with you, you never really shared your feelings and emotions on it with him afterwards. Why would you? You weren’t his girlfriend anymore. It wasn’t your place to.

Joost never knew how angry you were with him, you weren’t sure if unfollowing him really showed that. Maybe blocking him did, if he even ever noticed. You were just sick of seeing his face and posts pop up on your feed.

You haven’t seen him, haven’t talked to him since he broke up with you. It’s been three years and not a word has been said to each other.

You expected it to stay that way within the next years and so on. Until you saw him walking around with his friends in the same bar as you during a night in June.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" You said angrily.

"It's a Saturday night, this is a public bar, i'm not sure you can blame him for being here." Your friend shrugged disappointingly.

"Yeah I know." You sighed, "Just…why'd he have to come to this one tonight though? There's like ten other places he could've gone." You thought out loud, muttering. Your friend gave you a sympathetic frown as you rubbed your face.

“You know what, whatever, I’m gonna go for a smoke, you wanna come?” You nodded to the back door of the bar.

“No, I’ll watch over our drinks. You have fun.” She joked, you smiled and told her you’d be back in a few.

You were more than relieved to see that the back wall of the outside of the bar was empty. No other smokers or couples making out. You really needed a moment alone, seeing Joost made it feel like the air got knocked out of you.

You grabbed your pack of cigs, pulling one out and leaving it hanging from your mouth while you rummaged around your bag for a lighter.

You groaned out loud in frustration, desperately looking around the rest of your items for the one you usually had on hand.

While you were too busy searching, you didn’t pay any attention to the door that opened and closed behind you.

“Need a light?” A familiar deep voice asked, you turned to see him. Joost standing in front of you, lighter in hand and an awkward look on his face.

Now it felt like you couldn’t breathe at all.

Although it felt like a lifetime since you’d seen him, it hadn't been that long. It’s really just been a few years.

You just stared at him as he lit your cigarette without hesitation. You snapped back into this moment, inhaling and nodding as your way of saying “Thanks.”

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Joost said, pulling out a cigarette from his own pack.

“Yeah? A person can change a lot in three years.” The delivery of your sentence was venomous. It felt like every word was laced with poison to Joost. It made him pause for just a split second, giving him a small hint of how angry you still were at him.

He stayed silent, so did you. The only noise being the flick of his lighter and traffic in the distance.

The brick wall felt cold and jagged on your back, you debated if you should just stomp out your cig and just go back inside already.

“So how's everything been for you?” Joost broke the silence.

“Fine. Great.” You said stoically, Joost hummed in response.

You weren’t going to ask him the same question. You’d already knew how great he’d been doing. You’d saw all about it, read all about it, heard all about it, and honestly, you were sick of it.

He was getting where he wanted to be, good for him. You just wished you didn’t have to hear all about it.

"Number one in Germany, huh?" You said as exhaled smoke, a hint of anger still in your voice.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He let out a nervous laugh, “Insane isn’t it?” He itched at his arm.

“Yeah. Good for you though.” You spat, suddenly remembering how he made you feel like you were in his way to success.

“You don’t sound very excited about it.”

“Really?” You said sarcastically, flicking ash. Joost just nodded and cleared his throat, taking another inhale.

“I still have your shit in my closet. In a box.” You spoke out, keeping your eyes away from his.

He never came back for any of his shared clothing. You were kind enough to fold all his shirts that were hanging in your closet and put them in a cardboard box. Which you planned on giving him once he got back, but he never came back for it, never texted asking. So now they just sat in the back corner of your closet, collecting dust.

“Oh.” He said softly. Heart hurting a bit at the fact you never got rid of his stuff.

“Yeah. You’re free to take it back any day now. I’m tired of being reminded of it every time I need to pick out something to wear.” You sighed, you were halfway done with your smoke.

“I can understand if you’re upset.” He looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I know we ended things at a weird time.” His words made your blood boil.

We? We ended things? No. You. You were the one to end things. I didn’t want anything to end, you did, Joost. That’s what you wanted to spit at him. Instead you gave him a watered down version of it.

“You gave up on us, not me.” You said, exhaling, desperately trying to keep your cool.

“I don’t think I’d call it giving up…” He mumbled.

“No, you gave up. We hit a difficult patch and you were too much of an ass to push through it so you gave up.” Your mouth was moving faster than your brain, you didn’t mean to be so harsh or to argue. But you’ve been holding in all this anger for the past three years, now it was all spilling out.

Your chest was rising and falling in frustrated breaths, you blinked away the glaze that formed over your eyes. You waited for a response.

Joost opened his mouth, beginning to say something, but then closing it.

“Don’t even know why I bothered.” You muttered, letting out a sigh and shaking your head as you stomped out your cigarette.

Before you could start moving, Joost finally spoke.

“I thought I’d just continue to hurt you if I kept it going.” His voice was soft. It wasn’t the response you were hoping for, but you were sure what you were expecting anyways.

“Hurt me?” You asked, complete disbelief in your voice.

“I was gone for months. You’re telling me that you were fine with it? That it didn’t bother you?” He threw his cigarette down, grinding his shoe into the bud.

“It did bother me a little sometimes. I missed you the entire time. But I knew you were doing what you wanted to do for so long.” You took a step towards him, “I knew performing made you happy. I wasn’t gonna stop you from that. You were happy, I was happy.” You shrugged, trying desperately to keep back the tears that were going to form in your eyes.

It was the truth. You loved hearing the excitement in his voice when he’d call you just before shows, hearing the smile in his voice made one appear on your face as well.

“I cared for you so much. So much. I tried so hard to keep everything together and you just threw it all away. You made me feel like some kind of burden.” You could hear your voice begin to crack while your eyes watered, you didn’t want him to see you so emotional. You shoved past him, heading for the door.

“I never stopped caring about you. I need you to know that.” Joost spoke out, causing you to stop. He wanted to say a different word than “caring”, a stronger word, but he didn’t think he was brave enough for it. You turned around, eyes looking at the cement instead of at him.

“You were never a burden to me, liefje. Never.” Even though his voice was soft, his words were hitting you, your eyes finally met his. “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have ended things like that. I shouldn’t have ended things at all.” He stepped closer to you, hand grazing your cheekbone. Eventually both hands coming up to gently cup your face.

“I was such an asshole. You didn’t deserve that, any of that.” Joost felt your jaw clench, your attempt to keep your lip from wobbling as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. His own eyes were beginning to water.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You heard the crack in his voice, and that was enough to cause you to break, tears beginning to fall down your cheeks.

And of course, the next thing he said was the final blow to cause your upcoming breakdown.

“I never stopped loving you.” His voice was barely a whisper, yet still loud enough for the both of you to hear it. You let out an embarrassingly loud sob and wrapped your arms around him, face shoved and sobbing into his chest.

Joost sweetly shushed you as he rubbed a hand up and down your back, lightly swaying the both of you as he let a few tears fall from his own eyes.

You really wanted to kiss him, you really did. You would’ve at this moment if you weren’t bawling and wheezing out tears. However, Joost was fine with it, as long as he knew he had you back, in his arms, he was fine.

Joost having you here with him, he was fine with that.

#joost klein #joost klein fanfic #joost klein x reader #joost klein fic #joost x reader #joost x fem!reader

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profundcherrylady · 4 months ago

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SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI

A/N: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! Yeah I know it's past New Years and technically mid January, I just took a looong time writing this, hope y'all like it tho.

Warnings: None I think. Just a little swearing.

Contents: Rin being a bad babysitter lol. VERY unrealistic btw there is no way none of this could be like an actual situation that could happen in real life. Very, very bad parenting because WHY would Sae let any of this happen tf.

Description: On a displeasing turn of events, Sae has to spend Christmas eve at work, in Spain. But that's not going to stop his daughter from making her Christmas wishes come true.

"...What do you mean, she's gone?" Sae's voice was starting to sound anxious, even on the other side of the phone. Missing? His daughter was missing on Christmas eve? How could this happen? If he was there, he would for sure give Rin something more than just a piece of his mind for losing his daughter.

"Exactly what you're hearing. She's not here." he explained, still looking around under tables and inside cabinets in case she was secretly playing hide and seek again. "I checked her bedroom, the bathroom, your room, the kitchen... it's like she disappeared on thin air."

"That's impossible. Why did you leave her alone in the apartment in the first place?"

"Because she is refusing to move from her room. Well, she was. Now I have no clue of where the hell she is! You know this is your fault, right?"

"Excuse me? Tell me how I'm at fault for you losing my daughter."

"She wouldn't stop asking about you; she was heartbroken when you told her you'd spend Christmas at Spain without her, saying she wanted to be with you and asking when you'd come back. She was so depressed she didn't even want to eat. I even bought her a bunch of presents but she said it'll not be the same without you here, and you know damn well that brat's spoiled. She wouldn't reject any gifts if she wasn't depressed, depressed."

"First of all, do not call her a spoiled brat." he responded. "Second, fine. Leave it at that and just focus on finding her, where could she have gone to? Somewhere that reminds her of me maybe? She must've left something behind, keep looking!"

"I'm looking, chill." he entered the little girl's bedroom once again. Just as he saw before, it was empty and quiet, no sight of her favorite bunny plushie either which meant she must have gone somewhere. She always took that thing everywhere. He peeked under the bed but there was nothing, then finally stood back up.

A paper.

Rin's eyes widened at the sight of a paper on the bed, and he quickly rushed to read it.

"Rin?" he hushed his brother on the other of the phone. The handwriting was messy and childish so it was definitely hers, and as he read line through line his eyes widened even more.

"Fuck."

"What? What is it? Did you find something?"

"So... you're not gonna like what you're going to hear. She left a note... it says she was heading to you."

"Me?" he repeated, absolutely on disbelief. "I'm in Spain."

"Yeah, she seems to know that." the younger Itoshi continued to read the note, this time out loud. "...'Dear uncle Rin, I miss papa, I don't wanba wait anymore...'? Guess she meant 'wanna'. Uh... 'Chridthsma I dunno how to spell it but you know what I mean. Too lonely! I wanna see papa, so I'll go suprise him. I wanna spend tomoreow with him. Thanks uncle Rin! Plz don't throw out my presents that you bought me. Bye-bye'. And that's it."

"WHAT? She can't come all the way to Spain just to see me."

"You bet she can't; she's under eighteen. Relax, she can't travel alone just like that; she won't go far. I'll just go to the airport."

"Okay... that's true, but she wouldn't give up that easily; I'm pretty sure she knows she can't go on a plane alone, so..." then the realization hit him. "The train."

"What?"

"The TRAIN. She'll take the train from Japan to Europe, then from Barcelona to where I'm at on Madrid."

"Sae be fucking for real. Do you seriously think a six-year-old planned all of that?"

"Believe me, she's capable. She's seen those trains before, and she would for sure be too scared to go to the airport."

"And where do you think she'd get the money to travel?"

"Her allowance."

"You give a six-year-old an allowance?"

"STOP asking questions and go to the train station for her!"

"Okay, relax, I'm heading out."

But unfortunately for Rin, little Mao was already on the train station ready to head out to a whole another continent just to see her father. She had packed well (she broght her stuffed bunny) and ate breakfast before heading out (cookies from the kitchen counter); she was even well dressed for the occasion (she put on her jacket).

She was at the train station now, waving hello to the person selling the train tickets.

"Can I go to Spain, please?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, hello. You're taking a trip with your parents? Where are they?"

"My papa is at Spain." the man let out an 'oh' after hearing that.

"On Christmas eve, whithout his family? Must be something important. I'm sorry, though, I can't sell you a ticket to another country without any parental supervision."

"But... I already got all the way here."

"Sorry, kid, it's against the rules. I mean, if you had another parent or someone that can go with you I'd gladly let you go to Spain and see your dad."

"My uncle already said no... that's why I walked here all by myself... in the snow..."

"Well, if he said no it must be for a reason. What about your mom?"

"She isn't alive anymore. My dad and my uncle are pretty much all I have."

"Oh..." now he was starting to feel bad about this poor kids and her sad puppy eyes.

"I just wanted to see my papa on Christmas eve... he said he'd send me presents but I just wanted a hug from him. That was my only Christmas wish... but I guess it won't come true... hopefully he won't miss new year's too... or my birthday... I don't wanna keep seeing him through a screen anymore..."

"Okay, okay, okay, fine." he gave up; this teary-eyed child was going to kill him from sadness. He couldn't just send her home all sad like that. "Fine... I'll make some calls, I'll get you a train ticket to Barcelona. But you have to follow my instructions, okay? Going to another country is a big deal."

"Really? Thank you, mister! Now my Christmas wish is gonna come true!" the man took the phone aside from him and started making calls to arrange everything.

"Just let me see your passport and we'll see what we can do."

"You missed her? Really?" Sae was exasperated at this point. He was confident that they wouldn't let a kid travel to another continent, but apparently they were more incompetent than he thought.

"Listen, I got here as fast as I could. It's Christmas eve and there's snow all over; traffic was horrible." Rin explained, looking over his shoulder where the person in charge was showing him the security footage where they let Mao buy a ticket and get on the train. "I asked and it seems like her train just left. She bought a ticket to Barcelona and she's now on her way to you, but don't worry too much, they told me they got someone from the staff to keep an eye on her."

"That's not as bad as it could be, but what now? I have a match today, she knows that. I told her I wasn't missing Christmas at home just because. I'm busy preparing but if she's already on her way that I might have to cancel."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself just now, her train just left. It's like 19 hours from now, and it has two connections in Portugal and France. It'll take her a while to actually get to you."

"Still, the game is tomorrow at 2:00pm. I don't know if I can concentrate in training if my child is somewhere in Europe. Just thinking about it is getting me on my nerves... I know I can't do anything until she's here but I still feel the urge to go looking for her."

"Listen, it's going to be fine. Nothing will happen to her on the train and once she gets to Spain she only has to buy another ticket from Barcelona to Madrid and then you can do something about it, but do not call off the game because of this. People are counting on you to show up, you know? Seriously, just focus on getting ready and everything will get sorted out. Even if you don't go and look for her, I think she made it clear that she's going to find her way to you."

"I suppose there's some truth in what you say, but it still doesn't feel like something a responsible parent would do. I'm just worried."

"And you don't think I am? She's still my niece; if anything bad happens to her it'll all be my fault."

"It sure will be, you better take the damn responsibility if something happens to my daughter."

"Why do I bother telling you anything? Whatever, I'll call you later."

"France and Portugal were pretty, right?" the assistant from the train watched Mao as she nodded her head with a smile. "You took a big nap earlier; must feel a lot better, hm?"

"Yeah, but I'd really like to get to Spain now..."

"Don't worry, sweetie. Look, we're already here." she almost jumped off her seat when she heard that, holding her plush bunny tightly. The woman from the train helped her gather her stuff and get off, then sweetly waved her goodbye from the inside of the train. "Take care, okay? You're almost there!"

"Bye, miss! Thank you!" Mao waved as well as the train's gates closed off again, then turned around to head to the front desk and buy a ticket to Madrid.

Looking around, she almost bumped with a couple of people who spoke in a language she didn't quite understand and seemed pretty confused to see a foreigner child alone at the train station. She ignored it, as she was busy being amazed at the difference between this place and her hometown, but she kept going until she finally got the front desk where the person in charge looked down at her.

"¿Qué?"

"Hi! Um... I wanna go to Madrid." she pointed to the screen behind the man, so even though he didn't understand the kid he knew what she was trying to say, and he answered accordingly.

"Madrid? ¿Pero qué quiere hacer una niña en Madrid?" she stared, unable to understand a word, and the man finally sighed. "Mo es mi cría ni mi problema. Toma tu boleto a Madrid."

"Thank you!" she took the ticket handed to her and payed the number on the screen and walked towards her next train.

This was it, she was almost there. So close to seeing her father it actually felt unreal! Even when she didn't even spoke spanish she was there! Just a few hours and she would be able to get that hug from him.

Of course, as the hours passed, little Mao ended up spending Christmas eve on the train, but the wait was worth it. When the sun finally went up and Christmas morning came around, Mao Itoshi arrived to Madrid. The city outside the train station was bustling with energy, with big christmas decorations on the local stors and a crowd of people walking around with their children. And so... what now?

Wait.

...What now?

Where WAS Sae? She didn't know. She knew he was in Madrid and that he had a game later, yet that was all. She didn't know where her dad was staying or where could he be now, aside from the stadium where the football game was taking place later, but she didn't know where that was either. The city was huge and full of people; what was she supposed to do now?

"Um... sorry?" she tried asking around for directions, but of course, the locals didn't speak the same language as her. The brushed her off as soon as they realized they weren't getting whatever she was trying to say.

So she continued walking, trying to find anything that might get her in the right direction. At this point, she was tired again. She was only a child after all; she couldn't walk that much without getting exhausted fast, but she kept pushing through. She was on a mission, and the goal was so close; she couldn't possibly give up now. Even if she was tired and cold and hungry... she didn't have that much time before her father's game started, and then she would have to wait even more for that hug!

After a while she stumbled across a café. She didn't have money on her, but she figured she was tired and maybe they could let her just sit for a little bit and rest so that she could get to Sae faster. She held onto her plush bunny a little tighter as she reached for the doorknob and got inside, just to be greeted by a young (yet older from her perspective) woman.

"Bienvenida!" she looked down at the child, and after a couple of seconds she became surprised that she was alone. Peeking outside the door, there was no sight of any parents or older siblings or any responsible adult. She also took note of the fact that her features didn't seem spanish, although they were slightly familiar from somewhere... "¿Hablas español?"

"Um..." the answer to that question was no. She did not speak Spanish, but she didn't know that's what she was asking.

"Ay, probrecita... no te preocupes, ven." she signaled Mao to follow, which she did, and she was sat on a nearby table. "¿Tienes hambre? Ah, es cierto, que no hablas español. Te voy a traer algo de comer, ¿sí?"

After saying a couple more things she didn't understand, the lady finally walked away, so Mao let herself relax for a moment on the tranquility of the almost empty café. The only sounds around were the soothing wirring of the coffee machine on the back, the television set on some corner and the few people that were in there eating. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resting her head against the table, when the lady came back with a little baked pastry on a plate. She gestured Mao to not worry and just eat it, but before she could actually say anything else she was startled by the sound of another customer cursing out at the TV.

"¿QUÉ?" he exclaimed again, and so she paid a little more attention to the news on there.

"Y ahora, bueno, la noticia que ha tenido a toda España como loca. A las 2:00pm de hoy estaba programado el partido de fútbol que iba a dar lugar en el estadio de Madrid y en el cual iba a participar el llamado prodigio japonés Sae Itoshi. Ha dado muchísimo de que hablar como jugador; se le quiere un montón en su país de origen, y hoy iba a participar en este partido pero de última hora acaba de anunciar que no puede jugar. Es una locura, escúchenme que tampoco me lo puedo creer. El partido ha sido puesto en espera porque Sae Itoshi se está negando a jugar debido a que su hija está desaparecida. Dio algunos minutos de su tiempo para hablar con la prensa hace poco menos de treinta minutos y declaró que aparentemente de vuelta en Japón dejó a su hija al cuidado de su hermano, es decir el tío de la niña, y que... que ha despertado y la niña no estaba! Y en víspera de navidad, además, es que es increíble. Y para hacerlo peor todavía, la niña dejó una nota en su casa diciendo que fue a visitar a su padre, por lo cual Sae Itoshi declaró que su hija está en algún lugar de Madrid y que no puede jugar hasta que no la encuentre. No me creo que esto sea una noticia real gente, pero aquí estamos. Eh... pues ya saben, estén atentos. Sae Itoshi dejó la descripción de su hija para que quien sea que la vea lo pueda reportar o la lleve directamente al estadio. Es una niña de seis años, tiene el cabello oscuro y los ojos iguales a los de su padre; también dice que lleva con ella un... ¿conejo de felpa?"

"Dios mío!" after hearing the news, the lady was certain. This kid in the café was Sae Itoshi's daughter; her description matched and then it made sense that her features seemed familiar. So she was missing and her father was holding the whole football match until he found her... she had to do something!

She waited patiently until Mao finished her little snack and then approached her again, pointing at the TV where they were showing the footage of Sae declaring the facts of her little runaway. The kid gasped, almost trying to reach out to him.

"Papa!" that she could understand. It was very similar to the spanish word "papá" which meant dad so there was no doubt.

"Te voy a llevar con tu papá, ¿bien? Vamos." she offered her hand, which Mao took as the lady shouted that she was going out for a little bit and got out with her.

"C'mon, Sae, be reasonable. You can't just back out of the game like this! Do you know how many people are counting on you?"

"Yeah, the thing is, I don't give a fuck my daughter is MISSING. I was patient enough; I'm not doing anything until she's safe and sound."

"But... Sae! This game is very important for all of us! You're going to make us lose!"

"So you're telling me... a stupid football match is more important than my daughter's life." now THAT made him rethink his words, although not for long, because there was no way he was going to stay quiet with how much was at stake. But the next thing he said was the last straw for Sae.

"N-No... I didn't mean... fuck, Sae, she's been missing two days! Maybe it's time you consider the other possibilities and move on-"

"What did you just say?" his harsh tone and the darkened expression on his face made the whole room go quiet. "I don't care if you lose the game over this, you hear me? But that's my little girl, and if anything happens to her because of this I could never forgive myself, and the fact that you are even suggesting that she could be dead and that I just 'move on' is making me sick. You want me to play today? You better keep that stupid mouth of yours fucking closed or I'll make sure you do. I don't say things twice so you better listen up. I'm getting out of here to find her, understood?"

"Y-Yeah... I'm sorr-"

"Papa!" Sae's expression instantly switched as soon as he heard the familiar voice call for him, and as he turned around, there she was. Safe and unharmed, accompanied by a few security guards from the stadium. His eyes relaxed inmediately when he saw her ran up to him, then he crouched down and opened up his arms as he saw the little girl going for a hug, and once she was on his arms again, he let out a sigh of relief and held her just a little bit tighter. "I missed you, papa!"

Sae stood back up with her still on his arms, and frowned slightly as he looked down at her again.

"You are in very big trouble, young lady. You traveled all across Europe from Japan, through Portugal and France, just to be here. Do you have any idea how dangerous and irresponsible that was? Do you know what could've happened to you? You could've gotten lost, or worse. I am very disappointed; I was worried sick. You don't even speak spanish and you still managed to get all the way to the stadium." he saw her little smile fade away with his words, and he sighed once more as his eyes softened once again. "You must've really wanted to see me today, huh?"

"I did! Papa, I wanted to be with you on Christmas."

"We talked about this, Mao, I sent you lots of gifts back to Japan and we could always videocall today after the game; you didn't need to do all of this."

"But I did need it!"

"How so?"

"Because none of the gifts were what I wanted..."

"What? That's not possible. I sent you everything you said you wanted; I bought you that dollhouse you said was pretty and the dress you said you wanted for Christmas, there were more plush toys and accessories you told me you liked and things from your favorite cartoons. I don't know how I could've missed anything."

"That's okay papa, it's because those are the gifts from you! I did want those but they weren't my Christmas wish."

"Really? None of them?"

"Nope! They were things I wanted but they weren't my Christmas wish. But don't worry, papa, there's no way you could've known. I wrote it on my letter to Santa!"

Oh.

Didn't he tell Rin to check that as well? Damn it, he missed his daughter's Christmas wish and he didn't realize. Of course it didn't come true if he didn't know what it was to buy it...

"Well, can I know what it is? Maybe there's still time to get you whatever it is."

"It's okay, I already have it! It was a hug from you." and then his heart melted down. How could he still be mad after that?

"You little rascal. Why did you tell Santa and not me?"

"I figured he'd talk to you and maybe you would change your mind and go home. But then I found out what was his plan really was! I woke up yesterday and there was a letter under the tree! And it had money and the train schedule so I could get here today! And then a lot of miracles happened, like the person who sold me the ticket and the nice lady from the train and the café and me getting this far without knowing any spanish!"

"You found a letter with money under the tree? I didn't do that..." he whispered, and he certainly knew Rin didn't do it either.

"Of course you didn't; it was Santa!" Sae rolled his eyes and gave her one last hug.

"It still doesn't mean you're free from punishment. You're grounded for a month."

"Why?!"

"You traveled to another continent without permission and you're asking why you're grounded? Hand over that plush bunny, miss."

"Noooo, not that! I'm not gonna do it again!"

"You bet you won't."

"Don't take it, please! He's my best friend."

"I know." he huffed. "Fine. Now, I'm gonna need you to wait for me; I have a game to win."

#blue lock #bllk #bllk drabbles #bllk fic #bllk fluff #bllk x reader #blue lock drabbles #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #sae itoshi fluff #sae itoshi #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi fluff #itoshi sae #bllk sae

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flippinpancakes64 · 9 months ago

Note

Hello could I request an Immortal!reader who the Cullen's met in the past before they met again in the modern day? The reader could be another vampire or just immortal for another, completely unrelated reason.

Btw I love your work! It's so much fun to read and re-read :D

The Cullens with a Reader from their past

Re-read?!?!??!?!? I still can’t get over the fact that you guys actually like reading my shitty little stories thank you so much?!?!

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He met you briefly when he was on his crime vigilante streak in Britain a few years ago

He’s definitely not proud of the version of him that you met

You were another “vegetarian” vampire and to this day he’s still upset that you met him when he was giving into his temptations

Kinda like when you see a goth baddie at the store but you’re dressed like an npc

You had managed to find your way to the Denalis, joining their coven in Canada

The Cullens were on their way to a new house and had decided to visit their cousins since they were nearby

He’s shocked you even recognize him

And he’s a little ashamed

He does his best to prove to you that he can be civilized

Even though you never asked him to lol

You do find that he is a much nicer person when he’s not acting all dark and broody tho

He visits you more often after that and eventually convinces you to join the Cullens

Alice:

The two of you were very close right after Alice had been turned

You were friends with the other vampire who had turned her

But after he died you two went your separate ways

Alice to look for Jasper and the Cullens and you to just… wander

She was still attuned to your future, keeping tabs on you just to make sure you were still okay

She had called for you when the Cullens needed defending from the Volturi, but you hadn’t answered

One day though she saw your course change and you started wandering towards the Cullens

She waited for months for you to finally arrive

She welcomed you with open arms, you didn’t even know that’s where you were heading

She says it was fate

She helps you with everything, all of the cravings and the lifestyle changes

She regrets leaving you all of those years ago, but she's happy to finally be back with you

Jasper:

He turned you

You were just another face in the crowd of Maria’s servants

The only difference is that you got away

He let you run, you’d always seemed to have better self control

He didn’t feel like he was unleashing a monster upon the world

Years passed and he didn’t think about you

There were a couple other vampires who he let go, it wasn’t uncommon for him to forget about them

But one day, Alice gets a vision of another vampire coming into their town, their eyes red

Everyone is on guard, but then you show up and he recognizes you

You're not a threat to them, you were simply passing through

You're delighted to see him again after all this time, forever grateful that he let you walk free

You saw how he had changed over the years, becoming more docile, and much happier

So you decided to stay

You and Jasper bond quickly over your shared past and your current struggles with cravings

Rosalie:

For a brief time when it was just Edward, Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie, she met you

You were an immortal, but she never found out specifically what you were

It was a whirlwind

She was still vulnerable and angry after her death

You loved her, but she was still so new and angry that she couldn't really reciprocate

You both spent all of your time together, never leaving each others' sides

But the Cullens left eventually

And Rosalie went with them

You were heartbroken, but you couldn't stop her

You meet her again by accident

You're in a crowded shopping center and you accidentally bump into her shoulder

She whips around to give you the stink eye but then she realizes it's you

She brings you back to the Cullens and you two talk for hours

She feels terrible about how she treated you in the past

But it's okay cause she's making up for it now :)

Emmett:

You were his first partner

Back when he was alive, of course

You were each others' first love, but after he was turned you never saw each other again

He thought he would never see you again, never be able to give you the closure you deserved

He tried to track you down a couple of years later after he'd gained some control of himself, but all he found was your obituary

But now the Cullens had moved to a different city and they were all set to start school again

They'd all been assigned a current student to help show them around, and he was assigned someone who looked a whole lot like you

Spoiler alert it was you who knew

He's so happy

You quickly join the Cullens

Throuple with Rosalie?

Esme:

You were an old friend of Carlisle's

Esme had met you at her wedding, and you two hit it off instantly

She felt terrible and confused that she had feelings for you, especially since she just got married

So she let you leave without telling you how she felt

But now you were back in town

You'd decided you'd gone too long without seeing your doctor friend and his wife, so you decided to pay them a visit

Esme was so excited that you were back

She didn't want you to ever leave

So when it got to the end of your stay and you were packing your bags, she decided to try to get you to stay

You didn't really need any convincing

Carlisle:

He had treated you as a patient many many years ago

Before he even had Edward, back when it was just him

You had broken your leg and sought him out for treatment

He loved you

It was around this time when he started considering making a vampire to be his companion, but he wasn't fully decided yet

If he had met you a couple of years later, if you had been in worse condition, if, if, if

He kept thinking about you

Over the years it got better, but he never forgot you

Imagine the surprise when he finds you again, turned into a vampire

He hesitates a bit to welcome you back into his life

He has a wife, multiple "kids", and who knows you might not even want to be around him anymore

But after some pushing from everyone he takes you in

Yay for happiness

Vampire! Bella:

You and Bella used to be best friends in middle school

You would go everywhere together, do everything together

You were inseparable

And then your family moved away

You were both devastated

Neither of you had a phone then, and because Bella moved so often too with Phil and Renee, you both didn't have a reliable home phone either

So you lost contact

But she never forgot you

Now it's about a year after her transformation, and she followed Edward to Dartmouth to study

And who does she meet on the first day of her classes but her old best friend

You've grown up, and you look amazing

You two immediately pick up like nothing ever happened

She tells you about vampires and about her life

And she turns you

Happily ever after

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ponderingmoonlight · 2 years ago

Text

Lies in the dark

Pairing: boyfriend!Gojo x reader

Word Count: 3,8k

Synopsis: You received pictures of Satoru cheating on you, his longtime girlfriend, with other women. Completely heartbroken you leave him without hearing his side of the story. After weeks of drowning yourself in alcohol, the two of you meet again at Jujutsu High.

Warnings: cheating, language, use of alcohol/drugs, hurt

Your foot tabs against the floor while you wait for his puny figure to arrive in the doorframe. By now it’s far after midnight, actually you are dead tired from all the crying and thinking. But this can’t wait.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I didn’t expect you to be awake this late!”

There he stands, casually taking off his blindfold while blessing you with his best cheeky grin. Satoru’s sight alone makes your gut twist in anger and disgust. He really has some nerves to welcome you like that after all he has done.

“You’re pretty late.”

Your voice sounds so cold that Gojo’s blood freezes in his veins. His smile is washed away in an instant, he has never seen you like this. Has something happened? Are you upset for some reason?

“Why do you look like someone died? I’m home, sweet thing!”

Your emotionless eyes glare at him through the darkness of the apartment. Damn, how could you fall for him and his stupid little game? Did you really believe him when he told you that you are the only one, the one and only woman in his life? Fuck, you were so dumb. Too stupid to realize that it isn’t work that makes him come home this late at night. Your mind is numb to the feeling of being betrayed, it isn’t the first time that you get screwed. But you thought that Satoru is somehow different, that he values your feeling more. Well, so much for that.

“Maybe you’re so late because you were with her, huh?”

He glances at you like he has to think about your words, eyebrows narrowed.

“Who do you mean exactly? Mei is out of town. Oh, I visited Shoko because she patched a student back together, but that was in the afternoon. Or was it? I don’t remember exactly…“

Enough of that bullshit. You don’t offer him any more words, instead you just throw your phone at him. The phone that reveals countless messages about meetings, fucking and mocking with other women, pictures of him caressing their basic faces in the way you knew all too well, giving them the affection late at night that you craved so much. And then the words of the woman that called you earlier…

“When he called me sweet thing I thought I was the only one for him until I saw you two on the streets the other day. He never mentioned he had a girlfriend!”

“I began investigating and as it seems, he had a thing with many other women as well. I’ll send you screenshots of every conversation we’ve had the last couple months.”

Sweet thing. The thought of him using your nickname for other woman makes you want to break down and cry. But even though your heart is shattered into a million little pieces, you refuse to gift him a single tear. No, he doesn’t deserve your agony. He doesn’t deserve to see the feelings you have for him. Instead, you just stare at him with blank eyes while sitting in your chair and watching his blue orbs widen in shock.

“(y/n)”, he breathes out, gaze wandering from the screen to you.

“Let me explain-“

“No need to explain anything. I don’t care about how much I liked you and wished this wasn’t true. I told you I’ll leave you alone if you make me feel this way. And I’m fucking leaving, Gojo. Don’t you dare follow me. Y’know, I’m not your backup plan, good luck with whatever you got going on.”

With a swift motion, you lift yourself off the chair and grab your already packed suitcase.

“You can’t leave without hearing my side! I never cheated on yo-“

“Might be true that there’s always two sides to a story. Fuck your weak ass side tho. I’m done here.”

Heels clicking against the hard floor underneath your feet, you confidently cross the room and expand yourself in front of him. Satoru’s huge frame blocks the door, you can’t just get past him. But you need to get out of this apartment filled with dreadful memories and your shattered hopes as soon as possible before you have a complete breakdown.

“I’m serious Gojo.”

“It’s baby for you.”

“Bet she calls you that too. Get away from the door, we are done.”

“(y/n), hear me out”, his form moves towards you, like a predator approaching its prey.

No, you can’t. You don’t want him to get that close to you. You can’t stand him near you.

“Stay away from me”, you choke out, arms wrapped around yourself in a desperate attempt to console your own aching heart.

“I loved you for 8 years, 8 fucking years Satoru! I gave you everything I had and you trampled on that by fucking another woman so basic that I want to throw up. I have nothing more to say to you, it’s enough that I have to endure the sight of you at every damn meeting of jujutsu sorcerers. Now get.out.of.the.way.”

Your cruel words make even Satoru’s heart jump in agony, his shaky breath fills the air. Do you really want to break up with him without giving him the chance to explain himself? He has so much to say, so much to clarify. Fuck, he could end all this madness and your suffering. But it doesn’t matter. He has no choice but to let you go for the moment. Satoru knows you well enough to be aware of the fact that you won’t listen to him in your wrath, always suborn and confident. Apart from that, he himself has no idea who sent these messages to you and where these pictures come from. He has to investigate the matter first before he can face you again. As much as his whole body struggles against it, he takes a step to the side in order to let you go for the moment.

“I love you with all my heart and I’ll do anything to prove that you are the only one for me.”

Boom.

You close the door behind you noisily. Enough of that lying. You stumble into the fresh air of the night, tears pooling your eyes and taking away your sight. Get a hotel, take a hot shower, turn off your phone. Get over the fact that your boyfriend of 8 fucking years cheated on you, get over the fact that your relationship ended in the foulest way. God, it hurts so bad that you want to break down in the middle of the street, your numb limbs still in shock. But you need to get going. After all, you are a grade 1 sorcerer, everyone counts on your abilities. And a man who doesn’t value you shouldn’t be the reason you forget yourself and your aspiration. _________________________________________________________

Hey girl, need a ride to Jujutsu High? Meeting up in 15 min

You sign at the message of Mei on your phone. It’s been three weeks. Three weeks without seeing Satoru’s cheating face, three weeks in which he called you at least 10 times a day, three weeks of constant crying in the pillows of random hotels and filling yourself up with alcohol at clubs around the town. You feel like crap and look even worse from time to time. But today, you have to get yourself together. For the sake of your job, for the other people you care about like Mei and Nanami. Do all of them know what happened? Probably not, you only told Mei about it and Satoru would hardly admit that he cheated on you multiple times.

Do I really have to?

Your white uniform lies untouched in your suitcase, memories of last mission flood your mind. You were with him, laughing, playing, clapping the asses of multiple curses all at once. Everything was fine, everything was great. Life can change so quickly.

Of course you have to, dumbass.

But you have no other choice. With trembling fingers, you put on the white dress with long sleeves and cut outs that emphasize your curves so well and caught the attention of Satoru first. It fits a little looser than usual. Well, given the fact that you mostly live on drinks that’s no surprise. You put on your round sunglasses to hide the dark circles under your eyes which can be no longer covered by makeup and brush through your hair a few times. Admittedly, you look better than the last few weeks, but definitely worse than usual.

Your cream colored heels click against the marble floor of the hotel lobby as you walk outside, Mei’s car already waiting for you.

“You look better than I thought”, she comments when you sit beside her.

“Thanks I guess, gold digger.”

She gives you a small smile before her eyes get serious again.

“I’m here for you today, ‘kay? Might hire someone who kills him though…”

“You would spend money for me? Damn, you must really like me Mei”, you remark sarcastically.

“I’d do anything for you girl. Let’s get this over with, huh?”

The journey goes by far too quickly for your taste, fingertips already shaking at the thought of seeing his stupid pretty face again. What was he doing all this time? Your gut twists in agony. Probably went out with his other women, what else? Do you seriously think he missed you? That breakup doubtless hurt you ten times more than him. His face will wear the same stupid grin as always, his words will sound just as irresponsible as usual. Everything stays the same. Except for the fact that you aren’t by his side anymore.

“God, since when is this ass so punctual”, Mei hisses.

And there he stand, wearing his sunglasses and uniform, leaned against the doorframe while he probably drives Utahime mad with his mocking. Suddenly you are out of breath, lungs refusing their service as your eyes fill with salty tears again. No, you can’t cry now. You were so cool when you left him. He doesn’t deserve your tears or to see your pain. His cheating ass isn’t worth your throbbing.

“Keep it cool”, Mei speaks out with low voice.

Yes, you need to keep it cool. Straighten your back, swing your hips, show him that you don’t care about him at all.

“What’s up everyone”, you snort out, hand resting against your hips while eyeing everyone except Satoru.

“Wow, you’re early. Since when do you come on time?”, Nanami dryly responses.

“Why so rude, Kento? I thought you’d be happy to see me again, we are best friends since school after all!”

“You are a pain in the ass, (y/n).”

Fuck, you can feel his eyes almost eating you up. Your cheeks begin to burn just by the thought of it.

“Are you alright, (y/n)? You look a little thinner than last time”, Utahime comments, turning away from Satoru.

You swallow hard, panic rises inside your chest. For the first time, you don’t want everyone’s attention on you. Come on, just that meeting. An hour and you’re rid of him, an hour and you’re holed up in a random club again.

“You’d lose some weight too if you were me, Utahime. Now stop looking at my perfect ass and get going.”

Your remark catches everyone off guard, especially Satoru and his guilty conscience. For your standards, you look absolutely horrible and your answers have lost their bite. You are just the shell of yourself that slightly smells like alcohol.

“Hey, if there’s something going on…You know we can talk, right?”, Nanami discretely murmurs into your ear, worry lines draw his face.

“Thanks man, I don’t need anybody but myself though.”

And with that, you turn on your heels and walk through the door. Away from his hungry sight, away from their annoying questions. One damn meeting to get over with. One.damn.meeting.

“You look like shit”, Masamichi notes dryly while watching you sit down.

“Stop being so fucking annoying or I’ll quit”, you bark back, glaring at him through the shade of your glasses.

“What’s up your ass, (y/n)? You’re annoying as hell, but in another way. Are you alright?”

You can’t take it anymore. All the questions and fucking looks. As if the slight change of your appearance is the only thing that’s interesting at the moment. Yeah, you are as fine as you can be, on the brick of tears, mind racing just by the thought of Satoru looking your direction, let alone talk to you. But that’s none of anyone’s business. If you have to repeat one more time what happened a few weeks ago you’ll probably break down.

“Stop asking questions and get this meeting over with, I’m not payed enough to be here”, Mei interrupts and positions herself beside you.

It’s all a blur. The words that come out of his mouth seem to fade away before hitting your ear. All you can think about is Satoru who sits towards you, eyes darted on your figure. You don’t have to look at him to be aware of the fact that he is eyeing you up and down, waiting for a chance to talk to you.

Over the last couple of weeks, he tried to call you multiple times, not scared by the fact that you blocked him on every possible communication way the slightest. Why does he have to keep rubbing salt in the wound? The moment your phone rings and his name appears on the screen, you relive the fateful moment of realization over and over again, imagining him fucking another woman mercilessly while you sit at home and wait for him to come back. You know that you are too good for that, that the best thing you could do was leaving his cheating ass as soon as possible. But in your lonely nights when returning from a random club after talking to random strangers you find yourself lying in bed and cry your heart out over the relationship you thought was the best thing that could have happened to you.

“(y/n)?”

“Ayo, you there?”, Mei murmurs into your ear and punches your arms slightly.

You have to blink the pain away, still consumed by Gojo’s presence. Your heart skips a beat. Was someone talking to you?

“I just wish I was somewhere else”, you mutter, eyes directed to the ground.

Fuck, you feel like crying all over again. Why does it have to hurt this bad? Why does he have to be here, eying you up and down as if you were his prey? Why did he have to cheat on you and destroy the live you built together? All of that isn’t fair. You shouldn’t be sitting here, running on drinks with a few hours of sleep a week and a bleeding heart while he seems to be just fine. Your conscience shouldn’t weigh on you when you’re talking to a guy while Satoru is fucking his way through the world.

“(y/n)?”

Your name out of his sinful mouth makes your gut turn in disgust, you feel like throwing up.

“Get my name out of your dirty mouth”, you jeer at him, eyes yanking up to notice that he’s already staring at you with his face all serious.

You can’t take it anymore. With shaky legs you lift yourself up, leaving the room with fast steps. The tears in your eyes start to burn their way through your face and take your sight completely. After all, maybe you aren’t strong enough to simply get over his betrayal. God, you loved Satoru with all your heart. In all these years there was never another guy you even found attractive. You were so loyal, in love and fucking dumb. Too dumb to realize that he in fact does seem to think that you are replaceable.

“Get your ass back in, Gojo. I dare you!”, Mei’s voice threatens from afar.

“(y/n), please hear me out. Give me a chance to explain!”

No, no, no. You can’t bare him near you, let alone hearing your name out of his mouth. You need to leave and never return.

“(y/n)!”

You feel his grip around your left wrist, his touch burning like acid on your highly sensitive skin. God, how often you longed for his touch, to feel his tender fingertips one last time. But this is not right. The thought of his hands caressing you after fondling with other woman makes you want to vomit and burn alive.

“Get your dirty hands off me!”, you cry out, other hand slapping against his cheek at high tempo.

His infinity doesn’t stop your fist from hitting his face with full force. You stare at his motionless figure, breath hanging heavy between the both of you.

“Please, give me a minute to explain. The last few weeks were absolute hell for me and I’ve been dying to see you today.”

Hot tears swell up your eyes once more while agony seems to consume you all over again. Hell for him? What about you? The constant feeling of not being enough, the questions lingering your mind how long this has been going on behind your back, the endless waterfall of tears, not being able to drink enough to forget him.

“You have to be kidding. Tell me you’re not serious about that bullshit. Hell for you? You fucking ripped be apart, Satoru! You throw our life away for sex with a few young chicks! You have no right to be sad about anything!”, you scream on top of your lungs, fighting desperately to escape his scorching touch around your wrist.

“I didn’t cheat on you, (y/n)! I-“

“So I’ve been imagining these pictures of you on top of that slut and the countless messages? Stop this shit right now! You’ve done enough. You-“

“Listen to me, damn it!”, he yells, ruffling his messy hair.

Why? Why does he have to keep rubbing salt in your already throbbing wound? Everything was just fine, you two were inseparable. What about growing old together? What about building a live together? All that, gone in the wind. Just because he decided to fuck someone else.

“The man you see on these pictures isn’t me, I don’t know these women, (y/n). I began to investigate. The man you see is a cursed spirit, a damn strong one that is able to take on the appearance of other living being, including my handsome self. I wish I could tell you why, I wish I could tell you who the hell that woman is. We assume that someone wants to set you off against me so that we both get vulnerable.”

He tears the blindfold from his face, revealing tears that glister in his glossy eyes. Your heart sinks, all you can do is stare at him in a desperate attempt to understand what he’s saying. Can it…be true?

“We?”

“Nanami helped me out. He knows this technical stuff better than I do. (y/n), I would never hurt you like that, not in a million years. You mean everything to me, it kills me to see you hurt like that, even though I absolutely understand why you believed in all of this and didn’t wanna talk with me. Just please, I’m begging on my knees if I have to, give me a chance to find out more about this madness and trust me with this one.”

You don’t know what is happening to you, it feels like you’re going to puke. Is this really true? Did he in fact not cheat on you with these women? His explanation sounds plausible and the shimmer in his eyes tells you that he’s not lying. Satoru was always bad at not telling the truth, his pupils always widen. Not right now though.

You want to collapse on the floor, your head seems to weight a ton from all these emotions, thoughts and possibilities.

“Why didn’t you tell me right from the start?”, you blurt out, voice coated in anger.

“Would you have really listened to me if I had no evidence? I took photos with that thing and couldn’t hold myself back from killing that fucker. Nanami was with me. Please, (y/n). Please believe me.”

You take in the pictures, how there seems to be two Gojo’s in each one. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is all too much. You don’t know what to think or feel. Is this true? Is there really something like a spark of hope left for your relationship?

“No”, you confirm.

You close your eyes for a moment to organize your thoughts and calm your breathing. All this time, Satoru never showed any interest in other woman, he doesn’t even stay in contact with Mei or Shoko regularly. He has no problem with you using your phone to write messages to Nanami or Yuji when he’s busy with something else. No, since you’ve known him, there was never a cause for concern. Satoru tells you over and over again how much he loves you, sometimes you even thought that he might be obsessed with you.

Maybe he didn’t cheat, maybe he did. But doesn’t your longtime boyfriend deserve a trust bonus, a chance to show you that nothing ever happened between him and these women?

When you open your eyes again, they are pooled by tears. Since that dreadful evening, you never allowed yourself to miss, let alone think about him. You tried to drown your feelings in alcohol and drugs. But now he’s standing in front of you, everything could be fine, all of this could be nothing but a failed attempt to separate the two of you. Deep within, you always hoped for it to be a nightmare, a stupid misunderstanding. Is that all it is?

“I-I thought I’ve l-lost you forever”, you stutter.

He doesn’t hesitate. In an instant he pulls you into his arms, presses your body against his beating heart and trembling frame. God, how much you missed getting lost in his warm embrace, to feel his breath brush against your ears. Just now you realize how much it killed you to be away from him.

“Can’t imagine how much I missed you. The thought of losing you…”, his voice breaks and so does your heart.

“I love you Satoru. I love you more than anything else.”

You get lost against his lips, put all the grief of the last weeks into this one kiss.

“Let’s get home, shall we?”, he whispers against your lips.

“Home. Yeah, that sounds pretty good…”

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11queensupreme11 · 3 months ago

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I love where we're taking this Cheating Cu story, and I’m really enjoying it!

What I think would be funny is if the mistress tried to corner Percy and slapped or attacked her. I know it’s not possible, but I like the hypothetical situation we have going on—so let’s just pretend that she did. What would make it even more fun is if the attack left a visible mark on Percy’s skin, like a handprint on her cheek or a bruise on her arm from being grabbed too hard. What I think would get the yandere's attention is if it left a mark or if they saw Percy crying because of it.

Now, imagine the Yanderes or other family members seeing the aftermath or the attack happening in real time. They would absolutely LOSE their minds! I bet they’d come up with over a 100 different ways to torture or kill the mistress on the spot.

And if she attacked Percy in front of one or all of the Yanderes and their kids? Oh, that would make things even worse. The sheer chaos that would follow would be insane!

If possible, could you give us their reaction to witnessing it or seeing her cry because of the mistress?

i love you guys for never failing to find ways to make this au messier and messier 😂😂😂 it's like watching my favorite dramas, more dramatic shit is always piling on to each other to create one big mess

if the mistress ever tried to (or actually did) hurt percy in front of the yans and their kids, they would ALL lose their shit but the one who loses it worse would be........ cú chulainn!

(you guys probably thought i'd say poseidon or something huh???)

but yeah it's cú chulainn! listen, this whole mess is all HIS fault and he knows it. he had an affair, didn't see anything wrong with his actions when his wife confronted him about it. dismissed her feelings, and then became worried as fuck seeing how depressed she became. then the guilt comes, and now he finally acknowledges his wrongdoing but at that point, percy's already giving him the cold shoulder no matter how hard he tries to apologize. and now she's getting ready to leave for midgard, AND THEN THE MISTRESS ANNOUNCES HER PREGNANCY.....

then the bitch has the AUDACITY to try and hurt percy. he's the first to notice it and practically tackles her LMAO 😭😭😭 he's been so hyperfocused on percy for months now that he instantly notices the mistress trying to attack and that's why he reacts first and faster. honestly, he would literally just kill her in a blind rage before anyone can even realize what's happening 💀

...... but hey, no more mistress and bastard baby to worry about! (percy's still heartbroken tho and she's definitely going to midgard after this mess)

poseidon is furious that the whore tried to raise a hand against his daughter-wife and even more furious that cú chulainn managed to do something about it before he could smh. you'd think he'd be grateful, but nope! he still hates the dude's guts. this is all HIS fault after all.

hades would stiffly thank cú chulainn for the save but that's all he's getting from him. he'll be more focused on making sure percy's okay and getting her and the other girls out of the room away from the crime scene

anubis is fuming that cú chulainn managed to stop the crazy lady first. he saw it happen before he did, he swears!!!! cú chulainn was just... closer! yeah, that's all! anyways, he rushes after percy to make sure she's okay and pretty much hogs her the entire day.

beelzebub's just relieved that cú chulainn's act didn't do him any favors with percy. he is disappointed tho that the mistress was killed so quickly. he would've liked to torture her and the baby first...

apollo's shrieking like an ambulance siren the entire time LMAO 😂😂 he has no idea what just happened because he was too busy trying to get to percy to comfort her, but he's not gonna thank cú chulainn for the save! in his eyes, he still needs to suffer! pity his stupid whore couldn't suffer with him...

loki's glad percy was saved, but now he's pissed at cú chulainn for killing his mistress too quickly. he'd throw out accusations like "you probably killed her quickly so we wouldn't be able to get our hands on her! admit it, you cared about the dumb bitch, didn't you?!" anything to make him look worse in percy's eyes lol

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues #👸🏻| midnight morphine

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cokoweee · 4 months ago

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So… I always thought the first kiss would get me all giddy. Instead, I am heartbroken. I will elucidate (I don’t have enough spoons to get screenshots, so words will have to do.) I think Kendra was terrified out of her mind. She had to compartmentalize so much lately. I think what happened was, initially Big Mama gave her the deal over the phone in the bathroom, and then right before meeting Donnie in the gala gear was when she had the “eldritch horror” reminder. Thing is, Kendra has apparently been making some mental health positives since reforming, but when she is getting too stressed, she goes back to her vices. She started smoking again after getting stabbed by Bishop. And so here, in the Hidden City, being told to romance a guy, she isn’t even sure likes her back? (The ghosts said he “cared” but what if they mean like Casey and Draxum?) Time for some liquid courage and a LOT of it! Kendra is getting drunk off her rocker, because she knows she has to make a move before the end of the party. But it’s not fair to her, and honestly, it’s not fair to Donnie either. She would have liked to see their relationship develop naturally and if kisses come, then kisses come. But here, she has to drink, enough to get her inhibitions lowered, enough where she is fine forcing a kiss on one of the only supports she has left in the world. And here, Mr. Cirrhosis, himself is not only sober, but batting away her future drinks. She’ll never get shit faced drunk at this pace. Finally, she notices Donnie is getting in her space, trying to get her to leave. But she can’t leave! Who knows if this crazy spider lady is going to go after them?! She already has one psycho on her trail and he’s human (?). So Donnie is giving her grief, she notices him holding onto her shoulders. His outrageous height isn’t quite an obstacle now. He’s close enough to.. Yea, fuck it, guess we gotta go in! And… smooch And I’m just like… I feel so bad! I’m holding these two in my hands going “I’m so sorry! You two need a do-over on that kiss!” And what probably sucks is Donnie gonna chalk it up to her being drunk, and Kendra might think Donnie is gonna kick her out (or get distant again) Also I see you finally had her call him by his given name! just *keyboard smash*

Kiku back at it again with being 80% spot on. You lil pickle you are

You made me remember why I had Frida say her super edgy cringe ass line lol. It relates to this ahahah

My liking to Kendra is showing to much. I’m putting her through the blender. WHO KNOWS WHATLL HAPPEN THO HUH? WACKY KISS AFTERALL AAAHUU. Maybe they’ll get a redo maybe they won’t. (Acting like I didn’t already show them in the future with literal kids)

#asks and replies #we won’t find out till next week #I say we cause I don’t know the next part lol

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itneverendshere · 7 months ago

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do you think reader would find out about rafes addiction? even if he doesn’t use around her?

i was thinking about this last night so I YAPPED HARD IM SORRY, but to summarize:

so in my head he's gone to rehab already, like it was really bad between the ages of 16-19, but he's like 21/22 in my story therefore, i feel like he managed to put himself through rehab (or ward forced him). he still smokes weed tho, when he's anxious but he sorta forgets about it when he's around reader and especially why they get together officially. he's not the same party monster he used to be, just enjoys a glass of whiskey here and there. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

if he and ward got in a huge fight (his mom is alive in this, she just left so i'd say maybe she got in contact with ward about wanting to see the kids and rafe snaps because she was always coming and going when he was kid, and eventually never came back after weezie was born), he'd lose it completly and he wouldn't know what to do with himself bc he can't let you see him like that, like the old rafe. sooooo being the hasty dumbass that he is he'd go to barry's and he'd get highhh as kite.

and you'd find out bc it's the fucking cut obviously, everyone knows each other so maybe your sister was coming home from work and drove past barry's, saw rafe leave and once she gets home she's like?? since when's rafe's friends with barry??? and you KNOW immediately. you just feel something's wrong bc he told about his past (its canon that he told reader everything after their first time together idc).

this would be like a year and a half into the relantionship so ITS BAD BAD, bc what do you mean he went to his old drug dealer??? fell into old habits that almost killed him back then and NOT TO HIS GIRLFRIEND??? you'd be heartbroken obviously. and this would be one of the biggest fights ever i feel like, it wouldn't last just a day, it would go on on for weeks cause he knows you're disappointed and he can't bring himself to look at you.

let me know if you'd be interested in seeing this go down properly <3 bc now i kinda want to write it 🤪

#rafe cameron #just me yapping #pogue!reader!universe #bartender!pogue!reader x rafe #itneverendshere works✨#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #chit chats #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe cameron au

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a-haunting-memory · 2 months ago

Text

Hello y'all! I received my first request yay! @sarney7 asked me for headcannons of how would lackadaisy characters (Freckle, Rocky, Zib, Mordecai, Viktor i also wanted to add Ivy and Serafine to the list for the funsies) react to reader breaking up with them.

Before we begin: this work contains light angst, the reader is gn.

(also the characters go in alphabetical order ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ )

Freckle:

•When you told him you wanted to break up, he didn't know what to say.

•If he tried to speak up but you cut him mid sentence, he's not speaking up again.

•He's torn on what to do. His random zoning out worsened as he thinks a lot about what you said, but it all ends up with him doing nothing.

•You might catch him avoiding places you usually go to.

Poor boy is too socially awkward.

Ivy:

•She'll probably take it as a joke at first, so you better admit she's right and start laughing with her, otherwise you'll face her throwing a tantrum.

•It's best if you try to avoid her from now on.

•Once you leave her, she'll be heartbroken, mourning your relationship for a few days... however shortly after she'd most likely move on.

•Please, move out of the town. Seriously. Do it. Unless you want your limbs mangled by a certain bartender.

Mordecai:

•If you'd suggest breaking up, his first reaction would be: "what?" Followed by a confused stare.

•He'd ask you to tell him the reasons of why you wanted to split up. There are two scenarios of what would happen after telling him:

1. If you were together for a long time and he trusted you, he'd suggest trying to work on the issues you both had and slowly overcome them together (if possible).

2. If your relationship wasn't strong, he'd back out of it and let you leave. Why would he change himself for anyone anyway?

•He might be a bit more irritable and gloomy for a while after you left.

•Later he started pushing away his feelings and telling himself he's better off alone. Basically he's in denial.

Rocky:

•At first he'd stare at you with that goofy grin of his, waiting like an oblivious puppy for you to say something more. You didn't do it tho. Once he realized you were serious, his grin faltered.

•"Oh c'mon! Don't be like that, I'm sure there's still a lot to come for us!". He tried to nudge you with his elbow, but you just rolled your eyes at him. He slumped his shoulders. "Oh but whyyyyyy.... Why do you want to leave me?" He whined. "There's so much we can do together!" - what I mean is that he'd react pretty immediately, trying to keep you at his side, not wanting you to leave, he'd try to persuade you to say.

•After you left, it seemed like he was doing somewhat well, but was he? Many people noticed his actions were more destructive and he himself was acting a little crazier than usual... If that was even possible.

He tried to keep himself occupied most of the time with anything to keep his mind busy, to not let his thoughts wander off to you.

•At night it was harder for him to fall asleep tho. No one really knew what was going on inside his head, but one thing's for sure, a lot.

Serafine:

•"What did you say, Cher?" She purred while inching her knife dangerously close to your skin.

You gulped. "N-nothing!"

"That's what I thought so" she smirked and leaned back.

•Well... There is no real way out of this situation as long as she doesn't get bored of you... or as long as you're sneaky enough to leave the area unnoticed.

•Although if you do escape somehow, she's gonna go mad. I feel sorry for her next victim.

Viktor:

•His initial reaction was a grumble. Then he wanted to know why you wanted to break up. There is a possibility he'd get into a small argument with you when you wanted to leave.

•He wouldn't admit it, but he didn't want you two to part. He's grown found of you over the time and now he felt like a part of him was missing. Nonetheless he was bad at words and he couldn't bring himself to do anything. He'd prefer to be kneecapped again than having to suffer like this. (Kind of)

•After that, Mitzi started complaining about him being more snappy and irritable than usual...

Zib:

•Where did his cigarette go? You could've sworn it was in between his lips a second ago-.. oh, it's on the floor.

•First of all, ouch.

He had to make sure he wasn't in some kind of a dreadful dream before he-.. ah, nevermind.

•He asks if you have already thought out your decision for sure.

•It was painful to watch you leave, but maybe after all you were making the right choice? What had he to offer anyway? He wished you would stay, but at the same time he probably shouldn't stop you, maybe you'd find someone who'd take a better care of you... Just like Mitzi did when she found Atlas.

•He's drunk again. Wait, is that you in the corner of the speakeasy? It's time for him to unleash his charms and hit on you. Perhaps he'd manage to win you back.

•After his futile attempts at courting you, he is practicing sitting around looking 'pensive and troubled' -'more like a grimy doormat - while thinking melodramatically about the past.

— — — — — — — — — — — —

A/N: thank you for reading! Ugh, making these character thumbnails thingies took me more than I wanted it to😭 I was struggling to write out some of the characters (I hope it's not too noticeable) but I was trying my best to keep it in character, let me know your thoughts!

#lackadaisy x reader #dorian zibowski x reader #serafine savoy x reader #freckle x reader #rocky rickaby x reader #ivy pepper x reader #viktor vasko x reader #mordecai heller x reader #lackadaisy

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escape-music1432 · 1 month ago

Text

SCARED OF THE FALL! / Novocaine

(MCU!Adam Warlock x Ex-Avenger!Reader)

Next | Previous | Beginning

a/n: this is a really long one and I'm too lazy to shorten so have two titles and a fun read

Description: I live for angst, and this is going to be just a short few parts where reader rejects Adam's advances but slowly find themselves being hit with the realization that they do indeed harbor feelings; although, not as strongly, but they were beginning to grow.

Warnings: NONE OF THESE ARE PROOFREAD, mentions of canonical deaths, canonical violence, swearing, reader fell for Steve Rogers, alcohol consumption, kidnapping, Adam hurts reader, unethical experiments, animal abuse, vague hint of sexual thoughts, Rocket may or may not have feelings for reader, way too many near death experiences, mentions of infertility, drunken confessions, heartbroken Rocket, Reader hurts Adam,(more will be added accordingly)

Word count: 11,633

You will be happy to know that the description in no longer click bait! However now I realized I strayed from it...

This is uncharted territory now. So, that means I can finally get creative with my writing instead of having boring bs that follows the MCU timeline. I know, I did this to myself so idk why I'm complaining. Anyways, it's gonna be a bit of a better, longer reading experience... yay... don't forget the angst tho.

I have no idea how many more parts there are going to be so stay with me while we figure that out. I will be naming these after songs I listen on repeat while writing them, so don't pay the weird names any attention.

Enjoy and pls don't come for me, I'm just having fun and simping for this golden mf :)

You could feel your limbs creak and crack as you stretched, a pleasant sigh leaving your lips, waiting to feel the throb of a headache as you sat up, but it never came.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, looking around your small apartment. You didn't know how long you slept, but the lights around Nowhere and the faint chatter proved it was still within the early hours.

You licked your chapped lips, the faint taste of whiskey and honey danced along your dry tongue, followed by a sinking feeling in your gut.

You chose to ignore it while you pulled yourself out of bed and into the bathroom, hoping to wash away the night with a shower. It didn't take you long to get yourself cleaned up and dressed in comfortable attire, finishing your usual morning routine before getting ready to step outside.

You didn't even get to enjoy the walk to the enclosure to the animals, due to Nebula stopping you right outside your apartment. She was about to knock when you opened the door to her standing there.

You smiled softly, "Good morning."

"Good, your awake. I came to inform you that I can take care of your jobs for today." You wanted to ask why, but she beat you too it. "Thor would not stop bugging me about giving you today off."

You were giggling now. It sounded like something Thor would do, and you definitely needed the distraction after last night. You winced internally just thinking about it. "Did he say why?"

"No, but Drax will be joining you, as well as the kids. I don't really care for details, as long as the kids are looked after and return in one piece." Nebula waved her hand in dismissal, turning to begin her walk.

You followed alongside her quietly, hoping she wouldn't mention anything about the night prior. Luckily, she was too busy looking at the data pad in her hands, swiping through it and clicking a few buttons every now and again.

You both made it toward the port, the smell of oil and rubber hitting your nose. Nebula walked off leaving you by yourself.

You took the time to look out passed the barrier keeping you from space. It felt just like yesterday when you were within the guardian's ship, watching as the stars and galaxies danced along its black canvas, the vastness of it still taking your breath away. You could never get sick of seeing space, not when it still held undiscovered planets that you still had yet to explore.

"Good morning, Stardust. It appears we're the first ones to arrive." The voice of Adam appeared at your side; the flicker of warmth filled the space between you. You didn't dare look at him, not when he seen you so vulnerable the night before, you could still hazily remember him guiding you back to your apartment.

You could still feel his fingertips brush against your chest as he pulled the blanket over you, and the way he tucked your hair behind your ear while you mumbled nonsense. His soft hushed voice lulling you to sleep, staying at your side until your breathing evened out, not realizing the storm of emotions that the night had caused you. You didn't want to think about, didn't want to fall for a simple sweet gesture, so, you put up your walls, hiding behind the sarcasm and annoyance.

"Shouldn't you be stating the obvious somewhere else?" At your response, you could feel the way Adam's body shifted, and the way his hands twitched at his sides.

"Thor invited me on this journey. Did he not mention that to you." You gave him a sideways glance, seeing the soft smile on his face as he continued to look out into stars, not paying any mind to the jab you tried to make.

The thought that he would be tagging along was making you want to stay on Nowhere just to avoid the feeling bubbling in your chest.

"No, he didn't." You turned your attention back out into the vacuum of space.

The silence was deafening, it was both awkward and suffocating. You wanted your body to move, to find Nebula just so you wouldn't bask in the warm glow his body gave off. You couldn't fathom the comfort he brought you, it felt like everything was going to be okay, but you didn't want that. You wanted to stay within the confines of sadness, anger and regret.

"May I ask you a question?" Adam's words were like sandpaper against your ears, irritation already coming to mask your feelings. He seemed to take your silence as approval because he turned to face you, giving you his undivided attention.

You could feel him reach out as he spoke, "I have been thinking—well, knowing that I have—I would like-" He took a deep breath in, while he tried to find the words.

You could feel yourself slip away from existence for a minute. His words ringing in your head like a constant alarm. He spoke too quickly, to quietly to fully register what he was trying to say but you could feel your lungs beginning to burn from holding your breath. It was painfully obvious he was nervous, and you didn't want any part in what he had to say; at least that's what you wanted to believe.

You could feel the heat through his fingertips as they brushed the back side of your hand hesitantly. Your head turned in his direction finally looking up into his golden eyes watching as he opened his mouth slightly, before closing it and swallowing his nerves. His gaze went from your eyes down to your lips then back, your heart skipping a beat as he finally found the courage to speak. "Would you like to-"

"What the flark are you two doin?" The loud gruff voice made you jump, your hand quickly pulling away from his.

You stepped away from Adam as your eyes followed the sound of footsteps that came to an abrupt stop just a few feet away. The sight of Rocket standing, staring between you and Adam made it easier to not think too much into Adam's words.

You could hear a faint huff from your side, glancing over to Adam for just a second. He seemed disappointed, annoyed, at the sudden interruption. However, you thanked the gods that you were saved from whatever it was he wanted. But when you turned your attention to the raccoon, you couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't any better.

As you looked at Rocket, the images, the feeling of him replayed in your head. The lump in your throat and twist in your gut made it feel like you were going to throw up. You couldn't possibly face Rocket, not right now, not when the wound was still fresh. You tried to push it out, to ignore it, but the way his hard gaze disappeared at the concern on your face was enough to tell you he might remember just as much as you did.

"Captain Rocket, it is nice to see you." Adam's words were less soft compared to before, it was like he was a completely different person now. It made you do a double take in looking to him then to Rocket.

"Yea yea goldie. I actually came to give you this." His words directed at you were unwavering, the cool calm tone hurting you more than you thought it would, but excitement replace that emotion within you at the sight of your uniform.

You were breathless as you spoke, "Does this mean-"

"Yes, it does. I can see all the progress you've made, even just a little." Rocket forced his smile up to you, his eyes softening at your excited jumps of glee.

You were quick to grab your uniform from his grasp, not missing the way your hand gently brushed against the back of his paw.

You could see Rocket's body stiffen, you both feeling the tension beginning to build. You wanted to say something, to ask if he remembered but you bit your tongue, hiding behind your veil of excitement.

"Thank you, so much Rocket. You don't know how happy I am to be back." You could feel his gaze shift away from you, putting up his own walls in the process, "Don't mention it Doll, been needing that out of my office anyway."

You could feel a mix of relief and disappointment. Of course, he wasn't too keen on talking about feelings if it didn't involve half a bottle of whiskey, but that was if he remembered, and by the looks of it, it seemed he wasn't in the mood to tell.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear the rushed footsteps from behind you. You could feel yourself being lifted from off the ground, your whole body twisting and turning at the tight grip around your legs and torso that hoisted you up bridal style. The scream of surprise you let out had Rocket and Adam both jumping in place.

"My dear! You are finally awake." Thor's voice was right next to your ear, your whole body ceasing its attempt at fighting back.

You playfully punched his chest, letting out a loud sigh of relief. "Don't do that, you scared me half to death."

You could feel your whole body shake along with his laugh; it felt nice to have him distract you from your thoughts.

"Shall we set out on our little adventure. We're all here now." Thor gently set you back onto your feet, giving you a noogie and throwing your hair askew. You felt your smile falter as you swatted at his hand, already slightly annoyed with his antics.

Once you recovered, you looked behind him to see Drax and the little ones. The sight of Lyra waving frantically had you smiling brightly, you knew it was going to be a good day.

"Will you be joining us, Captain?" The question from Adam made your hair stand on end. You tried not to eavesdrop, but you could already feel the eyes staring into the back of your head as Lyra ran toward you.

"I'm sitting this one out, I need to find our next mission. You guys have fun." Rocket's quick response was followed by his fleeting footsteps.

You were once again feeling that mix of relief and disappointment. The feeling swallowing you whole, you were already beginning to overthink but as Lyra's small hands wrapped around your neck it disappeared. She would be your main focus today, and that was enough.

The travel time was short, Thor already seemed familiarized with the system you were in. When you set down onto the unknown planet, you could see a coastal town, the bright blue of the ocean blended well with the faint hint of light blues and tan colors of the town. It was breathtaking seeing such a beautiful planet, even just the smallest part of it.

Thor had mentioned it was going to be an all-day trip considering the planet's days were similar to Earths, if not shorter.

You were helping Thor sort through the supplies, making sure you had enough for lunch, dinner and the beach day activities when Drax had announced he would be taking the kids to the town alongside Adam. You were relived to be away from Adamm, even for a short few hours, but you made the most of it taking the time to indulge in the natural riches of the planet, sunbathing out on the dock of Thor's ship.

It had been almost an hour since Drax left and you were listening to the crashing of waves, and the soft breeze that blew by every once in a while. It felt nice to empty your mind in such a beautiful place, but it didn't last long when you heard the heavy footsteps within the ship, Thor's voice calling from behind you.

"Have you had breakfast?" You could feel your stomach rumble at the mention of food, deciding it was best to stand from your laying position. "No, but if you have something to snack on that would be great."

Thor shook his head, "Absolutely not, I will make you my specialty."

You hummed, deciding to take a seat beside the kitchen island to wait for him to give you whatever he had in mind. Thor didn't waste any time in pulling out the ingredients and getting too work. You were in awe that he was making it from scratch.

As you watched him work, you felt nostalgia begin to flow through your body.

You glanced around at the empty seats at your side, the sinking feeling in your stomach returning for another reason.

The Avenger tower would whirl to life as each one of you woke up, tired eyes and mumbled good mornings. The clatter in the kitchen followed by the faint scent of coffee, the warmth of the morning light peeking through the large windows and faint chatter of your quiet sing song voice.

Tony would be the first one up, taking a walk to the small bakery down the road. He would come back with two dozen donuts and his own expensive coffee. He would be having a donut in the corner looking over his schematics while you fought to not argue about the coffee you were making.

Bruce would be leaving the bathroom with a freshly shaven face, and grabbing a cup of coffee that you poured him, his lazy thank you as he took a sip, then he would join Tony on the sofa giving his opinions every now and again.

Steve would be walking into the kitchen, his workout clothes hugging his body just right as he thanked you for the cup of coffee, then he would set out on retrieving utensils and cooking pans while you dug through the fridge and cabinets for ingredients.

Thor would be stirring from his slumber on the couch, his eyes scanning the room before sitting up and heading to the bathroom. Once he returned, he would take your place next to Steve to help cook breakfast, joking with you about being a terrible cook. You would argue back that you used to work in a cafe, while Nat and Clint would be bickering down the hall almost synchronizing with you and Thor.

Nat would be the first to sit beside you before Clint followed. They would sit and continue their argument about waffles and pancakes, or any breakfast item to prove which was better.

Thor and Steve would be happily chatting while serving up breakfast, barely taking in Nat and Clints opinions on what they preferred, then you would all sit around and eat, chatting about what the plans were for the upcoming week.

You really missed those lazy mornings.

"So, how did last night go? I spent an hour trying to wash my face from you and Rocket." Thor's voice had ripped you from your reminiscing.

The mention of last night making you forget your earlier thoughts as you felt the swell of mixed emotions. You wanted to tell him; to respond honestly but you felt your walls beginning to cloud your judgment. "It's nothing worth mentioning."

Thor hummed, glancing back at you. "I was told from Nebula that you and Rocket had to be escorted to your homes."

He laughed, "It must've been a fun night; sorry I didn't stay up longer."

He waited for you to have a backhanded comment or to deny it but at your silence he glanced back again. He could see the distant look in your eyes, he felt like there was something wrong and he wasn't going to ignore it.

"My dear, are you alright?" Thor's voice echoed off the walls of his ship, the faint smell of pancakes and syrup followed alongside him as he placed the plate in front of you.

You could hear Love and Lyra playing outside, they must've just gotten back from town. You focused on their laughter and screams of joy, letting it occupy your brain.

Thor gently place his hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly to get your attention. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You looked down at the pancakes, the syrup dripping off of one side inviting you to take a bite, but the sight had your stomach turning. The gentle breeze from outside drifted in, the faint scent of salt hitting your senses.

You wanted to ignore the sadness in your heart, the realization that this was worse than death.

"(y/n)." Thor's quiet say of your name had you jumping, turning your attention to him like he had yelled at you. His expression was full of worry. You didn't feel like you deserved such sympathy, not when everything seemed to be falling apart.

"Sorry. I'm just tired." You lifted the fork full of plush cakes to your lips, still feeling his gaze on you as you took a bite. Thor wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't completely oblivious and that jeopardized your attempt at hiding.

"Listen, I know something is wrong. You're never so quiet, where's my sassy sister at?" Thor was trying to make you smile at the name, the name that always got you to laugh and roll your eyes. He wanted you to give him some sort of reaction, anything. but you couldn't muster enough to care, the void in your chest completely engulfing your very being in sadness.

"I said I'm tired." You repeated, taking another bite of the breakfast item.

Thor smiled softly, taking a seat next to you. "You cannot fool me dear, I know something is wrong." He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, rocking you back and forth, still trying to get you to smile, to break the mask you were wearing.

You could feel the irritation bubbling up in your chest at his arm wrapped around you. It made you feel claustrophobic. His braying voice making your ears hurt and the tightness in your throat nearly made you choke on your food. You tried counting in your head, taking deep breathes through your nose to calm yourself.

You could feel another rush of sadness at the faint voice of Adam from outside, the familiar burn within your heart tore away the sadness. You wanted nothing more than to let it sweep you off your feet, but the events within the last twenty-four hours were already becoming too hard to bear.

All of the walls Adam crept through wanted to seal up, but they couldn't, not when he was at your side. You didn't want to feel that extra skip in your heart, or the heat on your cheeks, or the pain from grinning to hard. You wanted nothing more than to ignore it, to avoid those attractively captivating eyes, to forget the feel of muscular hands pulling you into his comforting embrace.

Yet, no matter how hard you pushed him away with every back handed comment, every snap of anger or rude gesture, it completely went over his head. He would smile, chuckle and pretend you didn't just insult him. It was like he didn't care, like he was okay with being nestled in the small space he worked his way through even if it meant getting hurt. You hated that about him. You didn't want him, and you didn't need him.

"You can tell me anything, I'm always here for-" Thor couldn't even finish his sentence before you shoved his arm off of your shoulder, standing from your seat abruptly with a loud sigh, knocking the plate to the floor in the process.

You couldn't control your raging emotions, or the words that fell from your lips. "Get off my back, will ya?! I can't have a peaceful morning and the breakfast you made for me without you being a pain in my ass. I said there's nothing wrong and you keep prying. It's pissing me off."

You were taking deep shallow breathes now, your hands clenched at your side, while Thor was pulled away from you slightly. The anger was continuing to build, you were trying so hard to fight off your earlier thoughts.

Thor tried to speak, to say something "My dear, I'm just worried about you."

You were completely blinded with anger now. You hate him, hated the way he made you feel. "Worried? What you should be worried about is that the moment you showed up shit hit the fan. If I had known your surprise visit would involve such events, I would've kicked you out."

Thor was in compete shock, he wasn't able to hide the sadness on his face at your words, and it made him feel smaller as you continued. "I don't want you here, no one does. You're so annoying, you can't shut up for two seconds to read the room. I've had a really shitty night, and I'm sick of you trying to work your way into something that doesn't involve you."

He couldn't even argue back, the sight of your whole-body trembling in anger was enough for him to know that there was definitely something wrong.

You couldn't possibly mean what you said, he tried so hard to believe that, even when there was no sway in your glare, no indication that what you said was nothing but the truth. You may be quick to anger but this was different, you never lashed out like this in all the years he's known you. Except for one time, and that was a long time ago right after... this was a cry for help, and he didn't know how to go about it because he wasn't the one who comforted you all those years ago.

The silence and tension in the air filled your lungs, each breath burning. Your heart was pounding in your ears looking into Thor's blue eyes, waiting for him too snap back, for him to be angry with you.

The thought of those gentle golden hands that cradled you until you stopped crying, and the tickle of whiskers on your face made your teeth clench. You wanted to feel something else, needed to focus on anything that wasn't the night prior. You wanted to block it out, it was eating away at your heart, numbing your senses, and any knowledge of the tears of anger spilling from your eyes.

You hated this, hated feeling so weak when you were supposed to be the strongest. The years after you lost your parents you were adamant on hiding your tears, your emotions but then you met Steve and the Avengers. Every day that passed you could feel your walls slipping more and more, digging a hole for you to lie in.

They made you feel safe and at home, every single one of them wormed their way into your heart, the heart that was caged off from fear of losing them. And when you got too comfortable, just like with your parents, the world surprised you with its cruelty. You lost the Avengers, and you lost Steve. You couldn't bear the burden that laid on your shoulders after that, you sealed yourself off no matter how much your heart yearned for intimacy.

Now with Adam, everything was tenfold, it was like your entire existence was altered. He brought out that sensitivity, the guardians brought out your weaknesses more than the Avenger's ever could and even then, you lost Quill, Thor and Mantis. In every scenario where you opened up, you've lost more than you could withstand. Not one has stayed, not one has given you the satisfaction of recuperating what you felt.

At least that's what you wanted to believe but as you looked into Thor's saddened expression, you knew that you were beginning to doubt that you were ever angry or annoyed to begin with. It was just like you to keep pushing and pushing until they gave up on you.

You could feel the tears streaming down your face now, the anger vanishing into the sadness you've been trying so hard to suppress.

This was always your fault; you were just trying to protect yourself from heartbreak and here you were breaking his heart, breaking the heart of the one who took time out of their busy life to visit, and the one who saw right through the mask you put on since day one.

A loud sob left your lips, your whole body going ridged as you flung yourself into Thor's arms, the warmth of his hug tarnishing the hurt you felt. You cried, letting all the pent-up emotions over the past few years drop down onto his clothing, sobbing so loudly your voice became hoarse, your grip around his neck nearly choking him.

He was the one who actually stayed after everything.

You tried to speak, to apologize for being so stupid but you were only met with his hushed voice as he rocked you gently within his hold, "It's okay, it's okay. Let it out."

Thor was holding onto your crying form for what felt like hours, each time you would start to calm down the tears would start up again. It went on like that for a while, and he was willing to wait. He didn't realize just how much you were holding back, and that frightened him.

How long had you felt this way?

You took a few deep breathes in, steadying yourself in Thor's arms. His grip around your back loosened, as you finally pulled away. You didn't have to say anything as he guided you toward the comforter, sitting you down gently. The fear of speaking was making the silence much louder than it was, and Thor must've felt it too because he cleared his throat waiting for you to speak.

It didn't take long for you to explain why exactly you were feeling the way you did. You told him about Rocket's confession, his words, his touch, his kiss. You explained how frightened you were, how it rattled you to the core to even think about him in such a way. Your feelings were mixed, you knew the love you had for Rocket was only platonic and that broke your heart not being able to give him what he wanted.

Fresh tears were already beginning to spill as you waited for his say on the matter.

"That all happened last night?" His voice rumbled with amusement, a teasing smile on his face at an attempt to lighten the mood.

You wanted to facepalm, he never wanted to take anything seriously, but you couldn't be mad. It felt nice that he was trying to make you smile.

"Yea, I had no one to tell. Rocket most likely doesn't remember, and I didn't want to bring it up when I saw him this morning." You could hear your voice quiver at the mention on Rocket, and Thor could see the way you began to fidget.

"That is, a lot, to say the least..." Thor had a thoughtful look on his face, still taking in the information. You watched as his expression changed, a familiar glimmer in his blue eyes as he looked out into the scenery of the planet you were on.

"So, you and Adam huh?" You wanted to punch him in that moment, wondering what exactly he was getting at.

"What about Adam and me?" You tried hard not to let any emotion slip, but you knew you were fucked when you avoided his gaze as his hearty chuckle flew around the quiet space.

"My dear, you do realize I know that look he gives you. It's the same look you'd give-" Thor paused, deciding not to say his name. He cleared his throat before continuing, "What I'm saying is, the rabbit saw it before you could, even I saw it when we were introduced."

You rolled your eyes, trying to brush off the flutter in your chest. "There's nothing to see. You don't know Adam. He was a mindless killing machine when he first got here. He has no knowledge of whatever it is you're thinking, he wasn't programmed with it."

You could feel Thor shift, his hearty laughter bouncing off the walls of his ship. "You jest. No one is preprogrammed with knowledge, it's taught, even improvised. It's common sense."

"Adam was made in a literal machine." You emphasized your words by moving your hands, trying to explain further so Thor could understand. However, it didn't stick.

"Machine or not. He can still learn." Thor wasn't wrong, and that had you pushing back the hope you didn't really want to acknowledge.

"Thor. Adam was born to be perfect, someone so perfect doesn't have a need for shit like that. Especially when the Sovereign literally make their children in pods, so stop trying to make it work." You didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

"It just sounds like you're in denial my dear, like you don't want to believe that he can love past companionship." Thor gave you a sly smirk, nudging your shoulder gently. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me."

You could feel your cheeks beginning to heat up, "Thor that's not funny. I don't even—he's just—I'm not—oh fuck off."

Thor laughed again, finding amusement over you being a stuttering mess. You didn't find it as entertaining, hating that you let it get to you as much as it did.

The calming silence that fell over you both was comforting, the weight being off your shoulders and the tightness in your chest was gone. It felt nice to just enjoy the weightlessness. Thor made a small noise, almost a grunt to break the silence. You refocused your gaze on him, waiting for him to speak what was on his mind.

"You know, let's assume he was taught." You hummed in acknowledgment of his words, as he continued. "Who would he confide in his emotions to?"

You froze, that question never crossing your mind. "I'm not sure. He doesn't talk to anyone besides the guardians, even then that's still a slim possibility, considering most of us rarely talk about emotions in general."

You could practically hear the gears running on overtime within your and Thor's head. The silence that fell over you only lasted a few seconds before Thor started throwing out ideas. "Who's someone that's close to you, someone that has actually been in a relationship or experienced love in such a way."

You hummed, "Well considering Adam doesn't understand that. I think someone who experiences emotions in large quantities would be enough."

Thor rested his chin on the palm of his hand, "You don't think it could Lyra, or what was his name... the babysitter."

"Drax." Just as you corrected him you froze. The mention of Lyra and Drax had the gears in your head beginning to turn in a consistent manner. "No, he couldn't be, could he?"

"He could. I used to talk to Stark about Jane and me, as weird as that sounds." The mention of Stark had you both looking down at your hands, feeling like it was only yesterday when he made his sacrifice. Thor cleared his throat again, much harder and gruffer than before, fighting off his own inner battle of regret.

"He was the only one in a bit more stable relationship than the rest of us, I didn't know Bart well enough to ask him." Thor's response was all you needed to hear before you groaned loudly, repeating 'no' over and over again.

You were holding your head in your hands, "I don't like Adam like that-"

"Like I said, your secret is safe with me." Thor was smirking as you peaked through your fingers, shooting him a glare before you went back to your uncomfortable rant. "If Drax and Lyra are really trying to explain something as vast and versatile as the emotion love, then it's going to be all out of wack. Drax is way too literal and up front, and Lyra—Lyra only knows from movies and books."

At the mention of each of their takes on love, Thor laughed to the point of tears holding onto his sides. It was bad enough you were already concerned but now you were more than embarrassed. You wanted the world to swallow you whole, wanting to be anywhere but here in the moment.

Thor's gentle nudge of your shoulder had your panic cease for a moment. "My dear sweet sister, it's only an assumption. If you're right about your golden god, then you have nothing to worry about because he couldn't possibly 'have a need for that shit.'"

Thor's teasing tone from quoting you made you groan again, however, what he said was accurate. You really didn't have anything to worry about if you were right about Adam.

You and Thor decided to join the kids outside after cleaning up the mess you made, and a long hug filled with more than enough apologies on your end.

The day went on beautifully, most of the kids swam around and picked up quick on the games Thor would teach them. Lyra was at your side most of the time, helping you search for pretty shells and sand dollars. Drax was watching intently from the sidelines, making sure all the kids were accounted for and safe. Adam was besides Drax mostly talking with him and you couldn't help but remember your earlier conversation with Thor, and when their eyes locked onto your own you quickly averted your gaze back to Lyra.

It had only been a few hours before the kids got hungry, meaning it was just about lunch time. So, you and Thor set up the little snack bar for them to enjoy which you didn't think was necessary, but Thor had already spent so much on the supplies that you just went along with it. The kids were more than happy eating whatever was given to them, mostly the few sweet treats that Thor had provided.

"Mother?" The soft voice of Lyra had your head turning down to her from your conversation with Drax, "Yes sweetheart?"

You could see her brows knit together, her blue eyes wandering around the room while she fidgeted with the towel hugged against her chest. She looked nervous, and you couldn't help but feel worried. When she didn't respond immediately you bent down on one knee to be eye level with her.

"Lyra, what is it? Is something wrong?" You gently brushed her hair out of her face, feeling her gently lean into your touch.

Lyra shook her head, "No mother, but can you and I go back to town."

You could see her worried expression waiting for your answer, you weren't going to say no, but you were curious why she needed to go there. "Can I ask why?"

Lyra's eyes looked to the empty snack bowl that was once filled with sweets, then back you. "Bort, the treats are gone. I seen a—how do you say—cake?"

You could feel your heart swell; she was just the cutest. "Of course, sweetie. would you like to go now?"

Lyra immediately nodded her head, already grabbing ahold of your hand to guide you out of the ship. You pulled back gently, making sure to tell Drax and Thor where you and Lyra were going.

The walk to the town felt short, even though it appeared a lot further than you expected. You enjoyed the heat of the sun, the gentle breeze that swayed along the tropical trees. The town was a lot prettier than from the ship, the walls had beautiful waves etched into it, the clay of blue settled nicely with the faint hue of orange on each building. Some were darker shades some were lighter shades, not one building being like the last, they all had their own unique look to them. You could see wooden signs, their language burned into them, hanging over certain buildings. Through glass windows you spotted people nestled within seats, chatting or making purchases. It felt like home, much calmer than other planets you had previously visited.

Lyra tugged your hand down an ally, you could hear the loud voices and footsteps echoing from the very end of the alley. You were blinded from the sun's rays, and when you stepped back out into the street the hanging of cloth shielded the blinding sun. You could see that this was the busiest part of this coastal town, there were vendors with food, clothing, antiques and so on. You were in awe at the sight, not realizing just how much you missed such a sight, you half expected them to flock toward you to sell their items, but they seemed more immersed in each other. You followed behind Lyra as she weaved through the buzz of the market, you felt uneasy, but each local, vendor or not, would give you a warm smile and a slight bow.

Lyra finally let go of your hand, coming to an abrupt stop in front of a small limestone building. It had a small paper sign stung across the top, with what looked to be leaves on either side of the name 'blessed goods'.

You were expecting Lyra to run in, but she was standing idly by the entrance, waiting for you to enter first. You could practically see her body shaking with anticipation, and she nearly toppled over you as you swung the door open.

A clatter of shells and glass hung atop the door, swaying and clanking against one another to signal someone had entered. The first thing you noticed was the scent, it hit you like a ton of bricks; the richness of the smells settles on your tongue nearly making you drool. It was similar to the smell of a bakery, vanilla, caramel, even coffee, but it was so much better than just a usual bakery from Terra.

Lyra was quick to pick out what she wanted, the cupcake that sat within a small container from a large open fridge. The sight of a frosting sat on top; a vanilla cake nestled beneath it, it looked like a pink carnation, a flower you vaguely remembered.

You glanced at the contents in the fridge. They held cupcakes, and smaller cakes; each one was different but still had the theme of earth flowers, they were breathtaking. It surprised you to see even the faintest knowledge of Terra was known even as far as this planet.

"Is it okay to get this one?" Lyra's voice snapped you out of your daze, her blue eyes begging as she held up the cupcake.

You nod, giving in to the temptation of the baked goods. "Yes, I think I'm going to get one too."

You were looking up and down at all the floral cakes, before deciding to grab one that had a sunflower on top. Just as your fingers grazed against the cool plastic, you could feel a gentle hand against yours stopping you from fully grabbing onto it. You turned to your left, making eye contact with a much older man. Thinking you had done something wrong; you bowed your head slightly and apologized. When you looked back up, you were met with a sweet smile on the shop owners face, it was nothing but sincere.

"I don't think that's the cake for you, how about this one?" His soft voice was just as sweet as he looked, his grey hair peeking through the scarf wrapped around his head as his wrinkled hands gently guided your own to wrap around another container.

You wanted to ask why you couldn't just take the sunflower, but the sight of what looked to be daisy had you speechless. He seemed to hum at your surprised and wondering expression,

"It is for new beginnings. I have studied these flowers in my youth from Terra, it is a beautiful place. You must miss it."

You could feel your head spin, "How did you-"

"Your daughter speaks highly of you; I was just happy to listen." His soft smile never left as he looked down at Lyra who had a blush spreading across her face in embarrassment having been caught. "I would like to recommend this one as well, for your friend, he leaves soon does he not?"

The old man shifted around you to the other side of the fridge, plucking another container from the display shelf. Forget-me-not, a flower you least expected to see with such detail in the petals and colors.

You nodded your head, deciding Lyra had spoken with too much detail about your trip, but you couldn't be mad. "Yes, and thank you so much. These are beautiful, your attention to detail is mind boggling. They look so real."

"Yes, they do, however, I do not spend as much time on them as you would think. They aren't just regular old pastries, each one is crafted for someone specific, either a gift or for personal pleasure." His voice faded as he wandered behind the counter, pointing to some of the floral paintings on the walls and a list that sat upon the counter. "I know which ones are needed for those who enter, these flowers have meanings, and I aid in their message."

You looked at some of the cookies that sat on the countertop, small dots of leaves and lilies frosted atop, a sign sitting next to them with the words 'be the change you want to see' scribbled on it.

You looked behind him in the kitchen, not catching a single glimpse of utensils or baking items. It was just a blank canvas, all the paint was sitting upon the pallet, and the brush nonexistent, yet it still created the most beautiful masterpiece in all of existence.

The realization made your hair stand on end, looking down at the cupcakes you were about to buy. "You're not some normal old baker... are you?"

"No." His sweet smile didn't falter as he began to bag the pastries, "I dabble in sorcery, it makes the clean up much easier."

You slouched your shoulders in relief, then you covered your mouth shaking your head and giggling. "I should've known, no normal baker could add so much detail in frosting without some sort of magic."

The man laughed, taking his time in the conversation. "Indeed, not many can excel in the arts, but I put it to use in my love for baking."

You hummed, waiting for a price on the items but he leaned against the counter closer to you pointing to a poster along the bottom of the counter. "Speaking of magic, you arrived on the night of the festival that only happens once every century. You must join in on this beautiful tradition of the shower of stars carried across the planet, it is said to give good fortune of love and abundance."

Lyra squealed from behind you, grabbing onto your shirt tugging roughly. "Mother, please. I won't ask for anything else; please can we see the stars?!"

"Lyra-" You really didn't want to stay much longer, the whole trip was nearly ruined not too long ago.

You looked down to Lyra, and as you did you watched her expression contort, her eyes going wide as her bottom lip pouted out, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. Her voice begging as she pleaded once again. "Please, mother."

She knew just how to make you crack with her puppy eyes; she really was going to be the bane of your existence. You sighed gently ruffling her hair, "I would love to go, but it's not me you have to convince. You have to get Drax to-"

After your words of agreement left your mouth Lyra was already tugging you out of the store, she didn't even let you finish paying or speaking as the bag of sweets were somehow within her grasp.

You tried to pull back, but she was already out the door when you heard the shop owner call out from behind you. "No need to pay, just enjoy the festival. It starts at dusk!"

And with that you and Lyra practically sprinted back to the ship, her pulling you along the path down to the beach.

Drax was happy to agree, not only because he had a soft spot for the kids but also because if he didn't, he would never hear the end of it. So, when dusk started to approach quickly, everyone made their way into town. The only source of light was the setting sun and the bright lights from the center of town, like a guiding light in the dark.

Love was holding onto your hand while she held onto Thor's. It felt nice to just watch the dancing and singing of all the locals.

Love swayed your hands back and forth to the beat of the drums, her laugh following alongside the instruments strumming. There was a faint flicker from above as the sun disappeared over the Horizen, the music becoming increasing louder. Thor had let go of Love's hand, her grip along your fingers were warm as she guided you to dance along with her. You swayed your arms with hers, moving your body along to the words being sung. It didn't take long for the native music to switch up, having a faster pace than before. You could practically feel the drums vibrating the core of your body, the once soft vocals harmonized into something much rougher. It was like a ritual, lifting your very soul from your body.

Lyra's footsteps and voice went unnoticed as you lifted Love twirling her around. Lyra nearly yanked your hands away from Love's as you set her down, you could see the faint glow of purple unraveling within Love's eyes as she glared at Lyra. She was quick to grab your hand, hiding behind you to avoid the death glare from the other girl, you couldn't help but feel disappointment drip from your lips as you looked down to Lyra.

"Why didn't you just ask sweetheart?" You were afraid your voice was drowned out by the music but the way Lyra pulled away and looked up to you, her blue eyes shimmer in the light from her misty eyes, you knew your scolding didn't go unheard.

When Lyra didn't respond you looked over to Love, whose purple eyes went back to their natural color, her arms were crossed over her chest. You knew that she wanted an apology, which you thought was fair considering what Lyra had done.

"Lyra, that wasn't very nice. Can you apologize to Love?" You could feel her grip against your hand loosen, her blue eyes darting from you to Love.

"Mother, I—" Lyra couldn't find the words, her mouth falling open and closed as she struggled. The small huff that left her lips mixed into a sob, her hand withdrawing from your own as tears began to spill down her cheeks. You were quick to reach out for her again, but she was already running the other way.

Guilt sat within your chest, as you gave an apologetic smile to Love before running after Lyra. You could hear her voice fade out into the distance as Thor's voice followed, you ignored both of them as you attempted to track down where Lyra had gone.

It felt like hours of searching, but with adrenaline coursing through your veins it was only half an hour. You checked around the markets, into buildings that still had dim lights on, out by the ship and even back at the flower shop but you came up empty handed.

You called out Lyra's name, looking at the outskirts of town. Once again you tried to call her name, hoping for her to call back but you were only met with faint sounds of laughter, music and the crashing of waves. The guilt now sat in the back of your throat, not wanting to give up on finding her, but with each passing second it felt like you were drifting further. Just when you were about to turn and look elsewhere, your eyes caught sight of two silhouettes closer to the beach. Your body moved faster than your mind could keep up with, your heart hammering in your chest as you drew near. The faint voices growing louder with each step, you were quick to embrace the small figure, nearly crushing her within your hold as you let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't run off like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Lyra let out a sound of discomfort as you held her close, her arms hooked at her sides as she struggled to speak but the familiar silky tone interrupted.

"I apologize; I should have brought her to you when I found her." Adam stood from his sitting position, bowing slightly in acknowledgement of his misjudgment. You couldn't care less what he had to say, ignoring him all together as you set Lyra down.

"Why did you run off? I thought you and Love were friends. what happened?" You weren't trying to hide the bit of anger and concern that surfaced, holding Lyra's shoulders so she wouldn't run off again. Her gaze shifted downward trying to hide her expression from you as she spoke,

"We are, I don't like that she stole you." You didn't know what to respond with, you already knew she was a bit jealous to begin with, but you didn't know she would do something so harsh.

Her voice trembled, as she took a deep breath in not being able to hide her annoyance. "Ever since Uncle Thor showed up, you don't spend time with me anymore, it's like I don't exist. I don't want to feel this way but I—I just want my mother."

Your heart broke, the lump in your throat returning at her words. Your grip tightened on her shoulders as you pulled her close, gently wrapping your arms around Lyra, her tears beginning to stain the collar of your shirt. Her small arms were quick to wrap around your neck as she cried, letting all of her pent-up emotions out.

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, the guilt slipping down your cheeks. The thought that you were so caught up in your own problems you couldn't even give your sweet child the love and happiness you promised. You were so angry before, so sad.

The denial that Lyra appreciated Adam more than you was a mutual feeling that you both felt, jealousy running deeply through your veins you didn't even know you were ignoring it with the emotions on Rocket and Adam. There was a lot you had left to unbag, Thor got the brunt of it while Lyra was stuck watching from the back lines as your relationship blossomed, feeling like she was being left behind.

You never couldn't have imagined that her emotions were coming closer and closer to matching your own, except she wasn't able to hide them like you had, not being able to ignore the aching in her chest when she saw you smiling and laughing with Love. That's the beauty of innocence, the ability to let her emotions run rampant without fear of being judged, being able to let it out within hours, days, compared to the years you spent suffering. She didn't deserve to feel the way you did, she didn't need the weight, the pain. She can't fight that much was obvious, she didn't need to not when you were here.

This was all your fault. You keep pushing and pushing, you didn't even realize you were pushing your little girl away. The little girl who meant more to you than any being, any friend, any weight or pain you felt. She deserves the world, and you were sick of letting your emotions cloud your judgment on people who had nothing to do with the cause.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I never—I couldn't—I didn't—I never wanted you to feel like you didn't matter but I was so focused on Thor that I didn't even notice you were hurting." You were finding it harder to breathe as you buried your tears in her hair. You couldn't let the guilt eat you, not now, not when there was a better time. She needed to enjoy the festival her time here instead of what you failed at. "It's okay to be jealous but you shouldn't hurt Love like that. It was my fault, not hers. I promise I'll do better and after Thor leaves, you'll have my undivided attention."

Lyra pulled away slightly to wipe away the few tears that fell, a small smile finding its way to her features. She was holding onto your shoulder as she looked up to you, "Can we watch movies, the ones from earth. A-and can you make that—what is the word—popcorn?"

You could feel your chest tighten, your eyes misting over as you nodded along to her question, "yes we can have as many movie nights as you want."

Lyra looked over to Adam who was watching the whole thing unfold, his hands clenching and unclenching before his arms folded against his chest as a soft smile was directed at the little girl at your side. You could feel her lean against your chest again a sigh leaving her lips, as she took another deep inhale as she wiped snot against her sleeve.

"Would it be okay for Adam to join us? Like before, when we would all-" her words were drowned out at you caught sight of Adam soft gaze on your quick glance in his direction.

You knew what she wanted, but you didn't know if you could provide that. The time you spent running from his need to be a friend, his need to get on your good side after everything he had done to Rocket, your family. Then, his warm embrace, his feather light touches, his voice, the comfort he brought to your soul, everything about him screamed to be your friend and your mind went to more.

You hated the way your spirit lifted from hope, using the fuel from rage and tears bringing a gulf of flames between your relationship. Every time he was near there was a tug on your soul, welcoming you with open arms and you ignored it over and over again. Your soul never sang so many sonnets, poems dripping from each pump of your heart, each tear that fell from your face dripping like the drums of the music playing in the background.

You focused on the sound of music, feel the haze build within your body, the numb feeling hiding away your growing emotions. The focus was Lyra, not Adam, you can't focus on two whole earth-shattering emotions. This whole day has been filled with way too many ups and downs and you didn't know if you had it in you for another rollercoaster ride.

"Of course, Lyra, anything you want. What do you say we go talk to Love and Thor, and get this all sorted out?" You licked your lips, tasting the faint hint of salt from your stray tears. Lyra's soft nod against your palm, was enough for you to stand. Guiding her hand into your own, as Adam stood idly beside you.

You wanted to say something, anything. The thought that he was going to give you that same sweet smile, that velvet voice comforting you with just a simple 'it's okay' was enough to have goosebumps appear along your skin. You wanted it but fought against it.

Lyra gently let go of your hand, letting it slip away from your hold. She knew something you didn't, her earlier outburst was out of her system, something more finding its way into the look she gave Adam. The lack of words was deafening, it was like their silence said more than enough as Lyra nodded. Her small arms wrapping around him to give him a soft hug, then she began to walk back toward the festival. You turned, about to follow alongside her, it was awkward enough being this close and you didn't need to focus on him, not now.

Adam's hand grabbed along your forearm, the tingle bloomed across your entire body from the contact of him holding you back and keeping you in place. You felt annoyance rise from his touch, you were fighting the urge to stay, to give in.

"Adam. I need to-" your voice caught in your throat, feeling him pull you into his chest, his arms wrapping beautifully around your waist. You didn't fight it, you didn't try to pull away, you just let him rest his chin against your shoulder while you inhaled softly. The scent of the Devine graced your scenes, the soft bits of salt and honey mixed with the familiar scent from earlier in the day. The shirt he wore was tainted in the bakery, nearly numbing your senses of him.

You could feel the gentle push against your shoulder, his hand nearly engulfing your shoulder as he stepped back keeping a short distance between you. His gaze was on the entirety of your being, like he was seeing past the skin, past the bone, right into your very thing that kept your spirit contained. The golden hue of his eyes glistening in the faint light of the town behind you, the moons faint peak over the oceans horizon made this feel like some sick romantic movie.

His hand gripped tightly on the thing within his hold, you never realized he was even holding anything. You were going to ask but he was quick to hold it out, popping open the seal and letting the floral smell inflame your nostrils. The lavender, citrusy undertones and spice had your heartbeat loudly in your ears. You couldn't fight the gentle hold it had on your body as Adam gently picked up the cupcake,

"I had purchased this for you, I was told that this was the perfect flower for you." Adam was quick to pull it back slightly, like he had realized something at his words, "I apologize, I should have asked if you wanted such a silly thing. I know you don't-"

You were quick to hold his hand, losing the internal battle within yourself. The hold you had against his hand set a flame burning in your abdomen, allowing it to simmer instead of pushing it away. Your gaze lingered on the cupcake seeing the familiar hints of red, and whites framing the flower of a primrose.

"No. It's okay, thank you." You could feel his grip loosening on the cake, letting you take over your hold on it while he closed the lid of the packaging. You watched his eyes wander down to your lips as you took a bite, the soft feel of the cake was a much softer than you imagined, it was airy, filled with so much in each tingle of sweet flavor telling you a story that you didn't know you were part of. The flicker of the flame rose higher than you could've imagined. You swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to run from the feeling it gave you.

"Have you ever had a cupcake before?" You could see Adam jump slightly, his gaze flicking away from your lips and back up to your eyes. He was quick to shake his head, glancing down at the cake once again then back up to you.

You were gentle in guiding it toward his lips, holding your breath waiting for him to take a bite. The hope was continuing to burn brighter, it was like the cake itself was the sole reason you were making such a bold move.

Adam's lips parted slightly, taking a small bite to see if he liked it. You watched his face go from calm to complete joy in a matter of seconds, he was quick to take a much bigger bite leaving you with the rest as he hummed in satisfaction. You were smiling so hard your face hurt, the laugh erupted from you as you laid the rest on your tongue letting the love drip from your soul.

"That was very pleasant, I do believe I enjoy these cupcakes." Adam licked his bottom lip, whisking away the faint red of the frosting from the corners of his mouth.

You nodded in agreement, letting the crumbs fall from your fingers and onto the sand. The faintest glimmer of light peaked along the dark of night, the stars disappearing at the brightness of the shooting star. Adam was quick to follow your gaze up, watching as stars began to fall from the sky itself.

You were to engulf in the beauty, realizing now this is the magic the old man had spoken of. It stole your breath away, the sight nearly making you topple over from following where they fell.

"Stardust..." Adam's voice was quiet, you could feel the gentle touch of his hand against your own. He was holding both in one hand as he guided them to his chest, cradling them softly. "Earlier, back home, the thing I wanted to say..."

You were now looking back at him, watching as the stars shined off of his eyes. You wondered if he could see them shimmer from your own, he looked beautiful, more than beautiful. It was like when you first laid eyes on him, that stern look was now softened significantly, like he wasn't even that same machine. He looked more human, acted more human, he was different in a good way, a way that had you yearning in the worst way possible.

"I know I was let out of my cocoon early, and we didn't meet under the best circumstances, but I am very grateful that you were the one to teach and help me become accustomed to this new life." You could feel his heartbeat increase under your palms, and that fight you were battling earlier was coming back as Adam took another deep breath in. "I know I am meant to be the very being that defines perfection but when I look at you all I see are the things I lack. I wish to be more for you, perfect for you."

You could feel anger beginning to rise, the anger pushing hard against the need, the want. The lump in your throat nearly choking you as you inhaled sharply, holding your breath. You weren't ready, not for this. As much as you hoped, you spent so long behind the veil of annoyance and anger. Now, that he was speaking, giving you his heart, you weren't sure if you were happy with it.

It was the most beautiful place, the most beautiful moment in any time or space imaginable. You loved him, that much was evident, but your heart still ached dully for a past you could not obtain, a future far from your reach, with someone who doesn't exist anymore.

"I know what these feeling is now, these feelings that seem to continue to grow with every moment I spend with you. I know I am jealous, protective over the others stealing your attention from me, but it all comes from the place I've been trying to understand. I can feel my very soul reaching out to you, it's as if it's calling to me." Adam inhaled sharply again, leaning closer to you in the process, letting his breath fan along your face in a delicate manner. You were on the verge of tears, not from happiness but from sadness.

You could hear the waves crashing, the music getting increasing louder. The festival, the cupcake, the music like a ritual, the taste of the frosting lingering on your tongue like you were having an allergic reaction. There was a swell in your throat.

You could see the past, the vision you wanted for your future.

'You have a life to live, don't let anyone stop you from living it.'

You realized now, you were the person stopping yourself from living. His blue eyes still haunting your nightmares, his touch, his voice screaming calling out to you from the far of reaches of space. The tug against your soul was not to him, no, it was to the golden man in front of you.

You were willing to rid him off your shoulders to embrace this new feeling with open arms, yet you were fighting so hard to keep the last piece of you tethered to Earth, to a family you once had. The thought that it would drift away accepting someone so new, so different from the ones before, would mean it never existed. That the time on earth was nothing more than a dull planet that had no significance besides hurting you in the worst ways possible. You couldn't let Terra be such a place, you wanted it to be your home a place you can still run to, but if you let Adam in then there was no way you'd want to go back. You would want to say on Nowhere, stay with the guardians and be someone more to him and Lyra.

"No. No. Please don't say it, please don't say it." Your words fell from your thoughts and out your lips before you could stop them, Adam paused but smiled softly letting one of his hands to cup your face.

"I know Stardust. I know you're scared, and I am too but I need to tell you. I need to tell you that I know this feeling now and It's—I-" Adam leaned closer his lips gently ghosting over your forehead, a gesture you'd do to Lyra that he must have figured was a gesture of... Gods, you couldn't even say it now. Not when he-

"I love you." Adam's voice was soft. It hurt to hear those words. You hated him, you hated yourself, you didn't want to feel so angry, but it blinded you.

Everything kept adding up, you hated that Rocket's confession couldn't amount to the way Adam's made you feel, it was burning your entire body. You were happy, excited that all that hoping didn't go to waste. But now, you couldn't possibly accept it not now, not when everything was still fresh. Lyra needed you; you needed to talk to Rocket, Thor was leaving. There was so much going on, and the universe just kept adding on more and more shit to the pile, the pile you made.

You really hated yourself.

You let the anger out before you could grab ahold of it, projecting your own fear into the man in front of you as you shoved him away from you. He stumbled back, landing roughly in the sand while you stood over him. You could see the sadness in his eyes, the tears were threatening to spill, and you were fighting against the sympathy brushing past your caged heart. The emotions you shared earlier in the day were long forgotten, as you pondered on your thoughts from earlier.

"You've got to be kidding me, so much for being the perfect human. Do you even know what love is? Do you even have the slightest clue to what you just admitted to?!" You fought back the tears; you fought so hard to keep yourself afloat. Adam stared up at you the tears falling down his cheeks that seemed so foreign like he wasn't meant to show such emotion.

You loved him and it hurt. You couldn't let him be swallowed by your past issues, to be loved by someone who couldn't even admit the feelings were mutual. His heart was pure, and you were going to taint it, no matter how hard you would try to cradle and nurture it, you would end up cracking it under your pressure. He was the perfect being, literally created to be just that, a better version of yourself so how could you possibly amount to being a partner he needed.

"Can't you see that the entirety of our 'friendship' was nothing more than a mission given to me by Rocket. I would've never agreed if it hadn't been for him threatening me from joining the Guardians. Do you even think about anyone but yourself? You got to go save the universe and I was stuck on Nowhere doing nothing because of you, and you think we're friends?!"

He had no need for that shit. He didn't need you; you didn't need him. You weren't going to believe for a second that he knew what he wanted, much less you. You were going to continue to believe that, that this was nothing more than people filling his head with sick love stories and tales of happy endings that weren't real.

"Now that the mission is over, I don't have to pretend to be nice and you know what? You think you're the perfect human being, but you're nothing but a child with powers and your ego is higher than anyone I've ever met. Did you really think I would love a machine? A monster like you?" The venom dripped from every word, as your chest rose and fell frantically. Adam was still on the ground biting back his words as you continued to spew out your anger.

You kept pushing and pushing. You didn't mean it. You didn't mean anything, you knew that, but it was so hard to just let Terra go. To let him stay in the void in your heart where Steve once resided. Adam was perfect, and he proved it every day, but you were far from it. You could never amount to what he needed, and that sucked. You hated yourself more with every word, every lie to keep him far far away from your shitty life.

"I never wanted you here or anywhere near me. If it was up to me, I would've left you with the High Evolutionary, I would've left you to burn up in that shit hole because then you wouldn't be taking Lyra from me and worked your way into every aspect of my life." You finally let your shoulders slouch, watching as Adam turned away, his earlier words long forgotten as you gulped down the lump in your throat.

"I hate you."

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