#so secondly yes this shows how i will relate anything back to james if i can

[james-sunshine-potter]

James 'i don't care if people laugh with me or at me, as long as someone is laughing' Potter

[meetmeatthecoda]

(Part 1) Hi!! ❤️ I would love to pick your brain on this, it’s no secret that a popular idea for how the Lizzie character went wrong was either poor acting on behalf of Megan Boone or a mix of that and poor writing for her character, possibly due to her acting limitations, and that she was very full of herself in relation to Spader and other actors. However, I don’t know where those rumors originate from because I can’t place that behavior with what I know about her from her interviews.

Hi there, dear anon!! ❤️ What an interesting ask!! I definitely understand what you mean re: all the Megan hate... I've always been kind of surprised at the ferocity of the hate for Megan (not Liz, mind you, that's completely understandable lmfao) even starting in the very beginning. Like, yes, she was a relatively unknown actress without any huge, successful projects under her belt & maybe not the most overtly talented actress out there - especially next to James effing Spader - but she brought Liz to life & did a fantastic job doing it!! As far as the more recent rumors in regards to her attitude & personal beliefs about herself in comparison to other actors... well, they're just that - rumors. Despite the other tidbits of information we've gleaned about Megan from being fans of this show for 8 long, long, long years & how these rumors seem to align with said tidbits, we don't actually know anything. Nothing was ever confirmed by a reputable, verified source & nothing likely ever will be. We can speculate all we want but, at the end of the day? It's none of our business. Our business is what Megan brought to Liz in terms of the show we love (to hate) & that's all.

Speaking of, I think people tend to forget, firstly, that a character & the actor that plays them are very separate &, secondly, that the actor has no control over the script & content they are given. Megan can't be blamed for TPTB's poor writing & she even - by some accounts - tried to stick up for Liz & how she should have been written. But, when it comes down to it, Megan did the best she could with what she was given. And the horrendous quality of the absolute shit she was shoveled will forever be incredibly tragic but that's a topic for another time, I suppose.

In regards to the deleted scene you mention, anon, I've never had the pleasure of seeing it!! I've never actually bought a season of the show on DVD bc I was waiting to see if things would pan out in a way that necessitated it &... well... 😑😑😑 But it's okay, as there's plenty of other scenes throughout the series that showcase Megan's acting ability & Liz's potential as a character, both of which were... so, so wasted. Furthermore, I think the question "how many roads did the writers come so close to going down, only to rob Lizzie & by extension the rest of the show in the process?" is an excellent one, anon. Given how many logical & canon-based options & show directions us fans can come up with? TPTB clearly missed out on many, but we'll never know how many, bc they chose to go with the absolute worst one.

Rest assured, anon, that I genuinely don't understand why they did what they did to Liz either. I've never seen a show work so hard to sabotage their protagonist & main character so fully, not to mention snub the most prominent ship of the show so consistently & heartlessly. It's no secret that I'm of the adamant opinion that they could have made Lizzington work - quite beautifully, I may add - if they really wanted to, which makes it all the more painful that they never did. And while I seriously doubt there is any possibility of Megan/Liz ever coming back, I agree that even that wouldn't right all the many wrongs they managed to do with just the finale, let alone the entirety of season 8... though her return would do wonders for Red's & by extension our hearts. Mad props to you, anon, for being understanding enough to still & always love the show & continue to watch it... bc I'm just not that strong 🥲

Anyway, I think I touched on everything you talked about in your ask & I hope there was something here worth reading!! I'm so flattered you wanted to pick my brain on these topics & were interested enough to know my opinion, that's such a compliment, thank you, anon!! 🥰 No worries about the length either - we all know I'm guilty of long... well, everything LOL - they just take a bit of extra time to answer, so I thank you muchly for your patience, I really appreciate it!! Thanks again, anon, & much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

[scotianostra]

On October 15th 1586 the trial began of Mary Queen of Scots at Fotheringhay Castle.

Settle down, this is a wee bit longer than my normal posts,  some state it started on 14th, but it concluded on the 15th, so here we are.

You might remember my post a month ago when Mary arrived at her last "prison", the place where she would ultimately spend her last days and meet her end.

If the history books are to be believed. Mary Stuart first sighted the ancient castle towers from a path called since the "days of the Domesday Book", Perryho Lane, on hearing the name Perryho,  she is said to have made a melancholy little play on the name exclaiming aloud, ‘Perio! I perish.’ and indeed she did.

Mary was always a threat to the English Queen Elizabeth’s rule. Seen by Catholics as the true catholic ruler of England, there was many a plot to bump off Elizabeth and put Mary on the throne.

For almost 20 years Mary was dragged around England and locked up in its various castles. Having said that she was allowed certain freedoms including rides in the countryside and hunting trips, Fotheringhay was different.

Despite the size of the castle  Mary found herself incarcerated in comparatively mean apartments: this brought back all her phobia of a secret killing, the sort of barbarous death that stained the history of English medieval castles. The most notorious being one Edward II son of Longshanks, "Hammer of the Scots" who some say was murdered at Berkeley Castle, Gloucestershire by being held down and having a red-hot poker inserted inside his anus, and his screams could be heard miles away. although most historians do question whether it is true or not, the fact is he was murdered.

When Mary's servants reported that many of the state rooms had been left empty, Mary drew the correct conclusion that she was about to be tried, and the rooms were awaiting the arrival of dignitaries from London. Just after two weeks later on, October 1st she was informed by her keeper, Sir Amias Paulet that her misdeeds were now to be punished by the interrogation of certain lords, and advised her in her own interests to beg pardon and confess her faults.

Mary's reply was that Paulet  was behaving like a grownup with a small child, asking her to own up to what she had done. Then she went on more seriously: ‘As a sinner, I am truly conscious of having often offended my Creator, and I beg Him to forgive me, but as Queen and Sovereign, I am aware of no fault or offence for which I have to render account to anyone here below. …’ And she concluded loftily: ‘As therefore I could not offend, I do not wish for pardon; I do not seek, nor would I accept it from anyone living.’ For those who know anything about the Stewart monarchs this relates again to the Divine Right to rule, and they would only answer to God.

The charges against Mary were to do with a conspiracy to kill Elizabeth and replace her with Mary, her fellow conspirators included among others, John Ballard, a Jesuit priest, Weshman Thomas Morgan, a close confident of Mary's, and Anthony Babington, a Catholic noble who is said was the ring leader, the plot has gone down in history bearing his name The Babington Plot.

Whilst locked away, Mary advised the plotters, both in terms of strategy and how to ensure she’d win the English throne. And naturally as the ‘rightful’ ruler of England Mary would be the one to sign off on the plot starting. he plot took shape during the summer in 1586.

Babington informed Mary that he represented a group who planned to kill Elizabeth and install Mary as the new Queen of England. Babington asked for her support of their plan. Mary responded, asking for more details.

Unfortunately for Mary, the plot had been infiltrated and Elizabeth I’s own spy master, Sir Francis Walsingham had been using the letters to entrap Mary and get her to call for Elizabeth’s murder. 

Mary agreed with the plans, but did not authorized the assassination. That did not matter however, because Walsingham's spies intercepted the letter. The letter was deciphered and copied but this time a postscript was added. According to the new letter, Mary authorized the assassination. Walsingham had his proof, and so with this false evidence Mary was indicted.

Before the trial even started Ballard, the Catholic priest, was arrested and tortured. It is said that by the time he arrived at his execution site, John Ballards limbs were barely in their sockets, as a result of the torture he’d undergone, of course during his torture he gave up the names of others involved, the main man being Babington, in September the men were executed one after the other and forced to watch as they, in turn were hung drawn and quartered, the same age old punishment for treason. 

After the gruesome bloodbath attention turned to Mary.

Now I'm not saying Elizabeth was faultless in all this but she wasn't keen on trying her Mary, not just because they were cousins, it would set a precedent trying and ultimately executing someone still seen as most of Europe as the rightful Queen of Scotland. Her hand was being forced by her advisors like Walsingham, indeed they had their eye on disposing of the troublesome Mary for some time forcing through an act of Parliament the year before called The Act of Association: this provided means whereby a commission of twenty-four peers and privy councillors might be appointed to investigate any conspiracy or attempt to hurt Elizabeth ‘by any person or with the privity of any person that shall or may pretend to the title to the Crown of this realm’. 

The punishments for anyone found guilty under this act were to be two-fold: firstly they were to be deprived of their title to the English crown forever, and secondly they could be lawfully put to death under the provisions of the Act. It had been quite clear at the time that this Act had been especially framed in order get rid of our Queen, it was tailor made for her. 

The records of Mary's trial were compiled by the notes of those present, who included two persons designated as writers. It would have been nearly impossible to write by hand every word uttered in the courtroom. Some say Mary spoke very broken English due to her time spent in France., I myself find this hard to believe, yes she had been educated in France, but the Four Mary's would have made sure the young Queen could speak the Scot's tongue, at very least.

Mary's defence was set out mainly that, she wasn’t an English subject and therefore couldn’t be held as an English traitor. She’d been denied legal counsel or the right to view evidence being bought against her. Oh and the age old she was a Queen. Anointed by God. It would literally be a sin to kill her.

Therefore, how accurately were the writers able to record her statements? Whose spoken words were left undocumented? Which statements in particular? Did the two journalists favour Mary or Elizabeth, and if so, did they allow this to influence their notes of the trial? A completely accurate record of the trial is unattainable due to the faultiness of its records, some historians just filled in the blanks to suit themselves, depending on their own leanings.

When the trial concluded, Parliament gave speeches and had open discussion about Mary's sentencing. They also held audiences with Elizabeth. During the audiences held between Parliament and Elizabeth, Elizabeth gave two speeches. In her first speech, she declared that if it were not for "the safe and welfare of my whole people, I would (I protest unfeignedly) most willingly pardon her."   Elizabeth asserted that Mary was bound to the English laws but reaffirmed that the late act "was no ways prejudice to her." Rather, Elizabeth explained that the law was in place to warn her, but since Mary still acted against the Queen and the law "was in force," there was no reason not to "proceed against her according to the same.' But, if the laws almost explicitly name Mary, then why did Elizabeth feel the need to restate that they were not prejudiced against her? Now I know I deflected some of the blame away from Elizabeth earlier but It seems that this was just another way for Elizabeth to maintain her image of innocence. 

Furthermore, Elizabeth explained that because of "this last Act of Parliament" she must "order for her [Mary's] death" The Councillors' plan to somehow remove Mary as a threat had worked. Elizabeth felt her hands were tied in the matter due to the Acts of Parliament, which the Councillors had drafted with specific language aimed toward Mary. 

Eventually, Mary's sentence was issued and proclaimed in the English countryside and towns. Immediately following the proclamation, Walsingham drafted the warrant for Mary's execution. The speed at which these documents were drafted  show that Elizabeth's Councillors were adamant about having Mary executed.

In late December of 1586, Elizabeth had the papers for the execution drawn up. On February 1st, 1587, she signed Mary's death warrant. 

I wont go into the execution as I normally post all the details on the anniversary of her death, February 8th 1587, I will however add a few more lines regarding King James VI and letters between Elizabeth and him.

Around the same time Elizabeth signed the warrant, she sent a letter to James, who had earlier requested that his mother be sent into the neutral custody of a foreign prince. 

In her response, Elizabeth asked if James thought her "so mad to trust my own life in another's hand and send it out of my own?

She also refers to the "absurdity of such an offer. In this letter, Elizabeth placed the focus on James's offer rather than on the circumstances surrounding Mary at the present time, basically awaiting her fate. She did not say she was unwilling to give Mary to a neutral prince because she was either considering signing the execution warrant or had already done so. 

Elizabeth withheld from James any more of a response than was necessary. It seemed that she intentional1y focused this letter's content on James's request to divert attention from her intention to sign Mary's death warrant. 

After Mary's execution, Elizabeth wrote another letter to James. Elizabeth referred to Mary's execution as a "miserable accident which (far contrary to my meaning) hath befallen"  

Elizabeth claimed innocence in calling for Mary's execution, but what she wrote next left a sense of doubt as to her innocence in the matter. She told James that she had "now sent this kinsman of mine ... to instruct you truly of that which is too irksome for my pen to tell you.'d While one may infer that Elizabeth sent a kinsman to explain the actual happenings of Mary's execution you  have to wonder if that was truly the case. Could Elizabeth have sent this "kinsman" to explain what she would not want left documented on paper? Elizabeth would have known to not leave a self-incriminating paper trail regarding her true role in Mary's execution. Thus, she sent a "kinsman" to explain the actual circumstances relating to Mary's execution. 

The truth behind what this kinsman actually told to James will forever stay a mystery because these words were just spoken in a private audience and not documented in a letter, just like Elizabeth wanted. The final question remains: was it the work of the Councillors that called for the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots, or did Elizabeth I play  more active role than she wished to admit? 

I myself believe the Councillors did not need to have their arms twisted to call for Mary's execution. They perceived Mary as a threat and made it their top priority to remove her Queen Elizabeth's full part in the murky affair will always be up for debate. 

As ever I have used a lot of different sources when compiling this, if you want more on the trial check the article below out, remember though every source is different so not all that is written here will relate entirely to my post, it is however a more in depth analysis of the trial. 

https://erenow.net/biographies/maryqueenofscotsantoniafraser/27.php Pics are a depiction of the trial and part of the Babington letters held by the English National Archives, more on that here https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/spies/ciphers/mary/ma2.htm

[honey-bird-04]

this is my first post

Hullo. This is my 3rd time rewriting this, because sumthin’ kept fucking up every time I tried to write it. But let’s hope this time goes smoothly cause I got a lot to say. I don’t have anywhere else to put this, so I decided, why not come to Tumblr and see what everyone else thinks. So, let’s get started. I have been a Gleek since I was in 6th grade. And as much as I know that the show is cringey and hard to watch, my sister and I genuinely enjoyed it (although now we mostly watch it ironically). And we always had a favoritism system going, our favorite characters were blatantly obvious, and we were fishing for least favorite characters when we could. So, our lists of favorite characters/ships looked a little something like this: Favorites: -Kurt Hummel -Finn Hudson -Rachel Berry -Santana Lopez -Brittany S Pierce -Blaine Anderson Least favorites: -Quinn Fabray -Noah Puckerman -Terry Schue -Sue Sylvester -Jessie St James -Sebastian Smythe Favorite ships: -Finchel -Klaine -Brittana -Wemma And even though that doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with that set up in particular, I’m going to explain to you why my views have changed. Especially on my least favorite characters. And disclaimer!! Any and all of these characters that I list on my least favorites have nothing to do with race, gender, disability, sexuality etc. They are solely based on personality and how their actions affected others. That’s it. That’s what I’m basing it off of. Same goes for my favorite characters as well. And believe me I will give a lengthy explanation for each and every one of them I promise. So I’m going to be listing the least favorites from LEAST bad/toxic to MOST bad/toxic. And don’t be upset if one of your favorites are on here. Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Just make that clear. These are only things that I’ve picked up and I’ve noticed throughout the show and watching back important clips and such from the show. Coming in at #7: Mercedes Jones: I know what’s coming already. And I’m going to have to tell y’all this loud and clear. Mercedes is not a diva. She’s just a bitch. I’ve never liked Mercedes, and not because she was black, but just because she had an awful personality and she was awful to the people around her. I think the only time I really saw her being nice to someone was when she was dating Sam, or when she was dating that football player. And a few times when she was with Kurt. The main problem I have with her is in S1E3: Bust Your Windows, she busted Kurt’s front windshield all because he had a crush on someone else. And I can guarantee you guys this. If a guy did that to a girl, like if Kurt had done that to Mercedes instead, y’all would’ve been outraged. She had no reason to bust his window like that and then get all sassy to him when he got upset about it. Coming in at #6: Santana Lopez: And this is another character that y’all are so set on saying that she’s a diva. But no. Santana is a straight up bitch. And before you guys say “she was closeted/insecure/outed!” etc, Kurt was also insecure and closeted in the first season and he was never rude to anybody in the way Santana was. And secondly, Finn didn’t out her until S3E6: Mash Off, and I can tell you she had been acting like a huge bitch way before then. All I have to do is pull up all of the times she’s been anti-semetic to Rachel, fatphobic to Finn and Lauren, attacked people’s insecurities and was just being god awful. One of my least favorite scenes from her is when she went on that entire rant about why Blaine and Kurt didn’t work out, and she attacked Kurt’s teeth, his sexuality, his dancing, his s3xual appeal, and just about everything Kurt was insecure about. All because he said that he thought Santana and Brittany were too young to get married. And I honestly agreed with him, Britt and San were 19. Definitely too young to get married, and Kurt was just trying to relate his failure with Blaine to warn them that getting married this young wasn’t something that they wanted to do. But no. Santana didn’t listen to him trying to reason with her, she just told him basically “you suck, Blaine really hates you, get your crap together.” And I have always had a problem with it. Not to mention she called Quinn a slut. And no matter what situation you are in, I don’t believe it’s okay to call any girl a slut. Actually, I don’t think it’s okay to call anybody a slut. Because I’m bringing this back. If Finn had called Quinn a slut, you guys would be all over him and cancelling that character so fast, but as soon as Santana says it, it’s okay? That never sat right with me either. And again, the way she relentlessly bullies Rachel for everything she’s insecure about, especially her height and nose is not okay. It doesn’t matter how much you dislike someone. Making fun of her nose to the point where as soon as she breaks it, she’s immediately thinking of getting a nose job. That is not okay. And there’s a speculation that Santana was the one who pushed Rachel over the edge to try and fall into bulimia. And I don’t doubt it. Santana is not a nice person. And her internalised homophobia does not excuse anything that she’s said or done. Not to mention she has Britt wrapped around her finger and she knows that she’ll do anything she asks. Like when Santana was fantasizing about forcing Britt to break up with Artie if she became Prom Queen because it would be “the law of the land” that is absolutely inexcusable. Because we all know Britt is naive and has some sort of DD or autism, and the characters in the show take that and use it to their advantage. Especially Santana. Coming in at #5: Artie Abrams: Now before you come for my ass, let me tell you. I actually used to really like Artie. He was pretty high up on my ranking Glee characters lists that I used to make all the time. But now that I’ve rewatched and I’ve noticed more things, I just cant like him with a good conscience. Remember in season 1 when Tina told him that she doesn’t really have a stutter? Well, if you remember, he broke up with her after that. But if you were closely watching the show, you should’ve realised that Tina has some sort of social anxiety, (not that I’m excusing her faking a disability), but she has a reason for doing it. She (presumably) took up the stutter because she needed a way to avoid having to speak so much in public. Which is totally understandable! Artie didn’t have to break up with her. She confided in him to finally tell him what she had been hiding for so long and he just breaks up with her??? Are you kidding? That just goes to show that one of the only reasons he was dating her was because of her disability. If he broke up with her so fast for not actually having one. Even though she had an actual reason that she did it. Another thing about Artie that I hate is that he called Britt stupid. And that is a huge deal. Everyone in the school calls Britt stupid or something along those lines (even Santana) and as soon as she finds the one guy who doesn’t think that way of her, he breaks her trust. She technically did cheat on him, but as I said earlier, she bends to Santana’s every order and she has some sort of DD or autism and didn’t understand that it was cheating. She even told Artie she didn’t understand it. And instead of sitting her down and explaining to her and giving her a second chance to prove her new knowledge to good use, he just calls her stupid and makes her cry. And then this one is obvious. Artie didn’t fucking wear c0ndoms while he was having s3x with those two girls in New York and didn’t actually tell them he had chlamydia. Which just pissed me off so much it makes me angry just talking about it. Coming in at #4: Finn Hudson: Oh ho ho. Finn Hudson makes me so angry. Let me just start off with everything he did (and didn’t do) to/for Kurt. Starting with the infamous “faggy scene” after Kurt tried to make amends with Finn for all the arguing they had been doing by redecorating their room. As ugly as it looked (lmao), he did his best to try and appeal to what a straight guy would like without making it too masculine so he would feel comfortable sleeping in there too. He tried to appeal to Finn’s interests as well as his own and had to do it all on short notice. But as soon as Finn saw it, the first thing he said was “are you freaking insane?” and Kurt just deflated. If you watch the scene, you can see it. You can physically see Kurt’s hard work all go to waste because of that comment. But then Finn follows it up with saying “I can’t live here, I’m a dude.” That line for me is the one that really made me dislike Finn very very strongly, because he not only said Kurt wasn’t a man to his face, he also views Kurt as nothing but his sexuality. That is further proven when he describes how uncomfortable he is around Kurt just because Kurt has a crush on him. And yes, Kurt was creepy, but after then, when they started living together, he just tried his best to make Finn feel as welcome and as comfortable as he can make him feel. But then sees that everything has been pointless, because Finn makes it a point to tell him that he puts his underwear on in the shower before he comes out when Kurt’s around. And that’s just fucked up. And a lot of people say that Finn “didn’t mean it” when he said the f-slur, but let me tell you something. You don’t just accidentally say something twice out of anger. If you really didn’t mean it, you would apologise right when it left your mouth. But Finn’s lack of an apology only proves that he meant every word of what he said. Next is when Finn refused to help Kurt out with Karofsky. I can only talk briefly about this because it actually makes me so fucking mad I can’t explain it. So, Rachel asks him to help Kurt out and confront Karofsky, right? And Finn refuses. Because, and I quote: “We both know I can help him more if I stay on top.” And I think he even says “Kurt will be fine” too, completely ignoring the fact that Kurt is so terrified to go to school, he’s losing weight (there are speculations that he cuts), but Finn doesn’t care about that. He only cares about the fact that he needs to stay popular. Oh and the fact that Karofsky plays right guard and wont guard him during the football game is he’s pissed and they’ll lose. He picks FOOTBALL and POPULARITY over his soon-to-be stepbrother’s MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PYSICAL H E A L T H. I cannot explain how angry that makes me. Not to mention, the amounts of times he’s played victim. Especially with Rachel. One time that really pisses me off is when he goes “have you ever thought about what I’m going to do in New York?” and Rachel starts stammering over herself and assuring him that she’ll find something that he fits into since he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his future. And then he asks her about California and Puck’s pool business. Even though he knows Rachel has been set on New York and NYADA since she was a little girl. He knows that she has all of those ambitions and she has an entire plan in her life and she’s already trying to shift those plans to fit Finn in with her. And for him to tell her that he wants her to give all of that up to come with him and Puck to California is actually more selfish than Rachel is. Oh! And not to mention he outed Santana too. Let’s not forget that. In front of basically the whole damn school too. He also kissed Emma. And he also cheated on Rachel with Quinn. And then actually broke up with Rachel when she made out with Puck a bit because she wanted to get him back for cheating on her and sleeping with Santana (even though it doesn’t excuse what she did at all, I just think Finn was being a hypocrite.) And he also cheated on Quinn with Rachel in the first season, and he led Rachel on for the entire first season, Or most of it at least. Coming in at #3: Mr. Schue: I’m just gonna speed through this: -He was a creep/pedo with both the girls and the boys -He had a savior complex and tried to force Emma’s OCD away and fix it instead of help her -He encouraged Emma’s crush on him even while he was married -He twerked with a bunch of minors -Suspended a minor for not wearing a bra she was uncomfortable in -He dealt really badly with Rachel’s crush on him -Never listened to his students’ input -hallucinated children while he was sick -Was very awkwardly touchy with his students -His best friend was 19 -refused to stop twerking even when offered the exchange for a trans student to use a staff bathroom to avoid getting bullied -overreacted after finding out Terry wasn’t pregnant Now the moments you’ve all been waiting for. Coming in at #2: Noah Puckerman: Now I was stuck on Puck for a while, I didn’t think he really was that bad of a guy for a long time. But just one thing Quinn says was enough to sway me and put him this high on my list. In one of the earlier episodes, Puck starts teasing her and being a dick after finding out she’s pregnant. And so she says: “You got me drunk off of wine coolers and I was feeling fat that day...” Now if you break that sentence down, she literally says “you got me drunk.” implying that Puck himself wasn’t drunk when this all took place. Meaning, Noah Puckerman r@ped Quinn Fabray. She never cheated on Finn. Puck purposely got her drunk just so he could get what he wanted. Especially considering she never put out and she was president of the Celibacy Club. Now must I say anything else? No. I didn’t think so. And finally, coming in at #1: Blaine Anderson: I know Blaine is everyone’s smol bean gay bb boy. (*gag) but I have to tell you that he is not a good person whatsoever. I’ll give him credit though. In the 2nd season he was really sweet and I actually really liked him. But as the seasons progressed, he got worse. In S3E5, Blaine and Kurt go to a gay bar together, and Kurt helps Blaine out after he gets too drunk. Then as soon as he tries to get Blaine in the car, Blaine starts coming onto him and kissing his neck and trying to convince him to have s3x with him, even though Kurt keeps repetitively saying no. And then he plays the victim after Kurt blows up at him and says “well I’m sorry for trying to be spontaneous and fun!” and then proceeds to walk home, getting mad at Kurt for nothing. Then in another episode. I think it was later in season 3, Kurt meets Chandler. And Blaine had been ignoring him for a while before that, so Kurt starts talking to Chandler only because he makes him feel good about himself. And he obviously thought it was okay because Blaine did the same thing with Sebastian but called him all the time and flirted with him and dirty danced with him etc. So when Blaine goes through Kurt’s phone, he finds the messages and makes a huge deal out of it and accuses Kurt of cheating on him. Then publicly humiliates him in front of the Glee club with a song about cheating. And then proceeds to go and cheat on him anyway. And then as soon as they were going to NYADA together, Blaine didn’t like all the attention Kurt was getting after he started to get more fit and more attractive and he was extremely jealous of him and over protective, not letting Kurt have any other male attention. At all. And Blaine is just super stingy with Kurt and doesn’t let him live his life and then pays victim whenever he gets confronted by him. Oh and not to mention he dated the one person that made Kurt’s life a living hell for the longest time and decided to rub it in his face. So there we have it folks. My new least favorite Glee characters and all the reasons why. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[rowanartist]

Fan fiction quotes 2019:

"with great foods, came great emotional baggage"[X]extra funny since I just saw Into the Spiderverse

"Just get together every couple of weeks, without Stark, and you guys can pass Steve around like a bong."[ch2]whaat? And chapter three is a dirty parody - worth a read for the humor of it

"he just hopes Tony has the sense God gave concussed baby sheep "[X]interesting phrase

"“Science,” Jane says, drawing his face to hers, “Does not require pants "[X]fun series of short fics

"Never something so hot; not like a flame is hot, but the strength of something bathed in summer sun. "[X]interesting view on attraction

"(He'd been sketching when he thought that through; now there's a page that has a little cartoon of himself, ducking, with the caption "the spoons are attacking!" although he'd ended up finishing his latte before he actually drew any flying spoons.) "[X]Steve upon learning about spoon theory

"Can you think of anything that symbolizes the eighties better than David Bowie’s crotch in tights? "[X]giggle out loud! "You drink once if someone whines, if Sarah says something isn’t fair, or if we get a shot of Bowie’s crotch. "[Same]comment

"“Like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin?” Natasha finished for him, understanding. Sometimes, after what they’d been through, it was hard just to be in your body. Easier to dissociate, to let whatever was going to happen happen while the part of you that was you floated far away. Natasha had been there before, and she knew James went there sometimes. "[X]ponder?

"They’re each wrapped up in their own blanket burrito, lying side by side in the dark, sharing one pillow. "[X]dual blanket burritos

"For most of his life he learned the safest option was to repress his emotional responses as much as possible, and over time he forgot how to access them when he actually needed to. "[X]relatable to a small degree

"Nothing too special but I’m pretty much Michael Bay’s wet dream "[X]to describe bakugo lol

"Most people," Midoriya continued gently, "don't need to be told they have a crush by the person that they have the crush on."[X]my boyfriend can relate to Midoriya here...

"about how if Midoriya could go this long talking without breathing in any new air, he'd probably be really good at kissing. "[same]lol

"God, fuck off. You look so freshly screwed that it hurts me. "[X]Bakugo ;p

"After all, shodō is one of Shouto’s hobbies. For Midoriya’s birthday last year, he made a beautiful poster of UA’s motto that is now displayed prominently above Midoriya’s bed. "[X]draw? If i can? "Please don’t use your All Might voice when we’re making plans to have sex. "[Same]lol

"He’d known for a while that his boyfriend internalizes, that he still struggles with a lot of insecurities and periodic depression from his years around his dad "[X]comment

"Shouto you’re worth more than anything. And you deserve happiness. I don’t care what micro-dick has said to you in the past or any shit he spews out of the mouth that’s somehow more obnoxious than Present Mic "[same]dam it Endeavor :/ "You’re a dork,” Izuku mutters in a break for breath. “Your dork,” Shouto says quietly "[Same]awww

"But if you ever forget your phone again I will use you as an advertisement balloon for a day, and that’s a promise."[X]lol

"First of all, I challenge you to find a dress that can fit that shoulders to waist ratio.” Shouto replied, matter-of-factly, pointing at Izuku’s entire body. “Secondly, you absolutely lack the manners to be a princess, you brute.” "[X]part of a series

"Another young woman that couldn’t be older than Shouto and Izuku looked up at the call. She had a round face and long, brown hair with little orange streaks every now and then collected in a braid. The red rimmed glasses she wore made her yellow eyes look bigger, behind the lenses. She lit up, when she saw them. "[X]need to try to draw

"You’d die of embarrassment— Either that, or Aizawa-sensei would kill you. And I kind of like you alive, thank you very much.” "[same]LOL

" is standing there in grey sweats and a loose Totoro hoodie he got him on one of their first dates "[X]draw

"It definitely didn’t help that Izuku stretched lazily, something akin to a cat just waking up from a nap, one of his legs stretching against the wall as the opposite arm reached towards Shouto with fingers spread wide-open. "[X]DRAW!

"What? They’re really short, all my boxers showed and it was weird. "[X]...

"Just because he isn’t as obvious about it, doesn’t mean Shouto isn’t beyond anxious too. "[X]comment

"He doesn’t treat Shouto like he is fragile, but he treats him like he is precious, and that is an important distinction"...."Something precious, however, doesn’t necessarily break easy, but it warrants the utmost care. It’s meant to be cherished. "[X]relationship advice

"One of the national dishes has no meat in it, but it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever tasted. I thought we were all going to die and T’Challa was going to succeed in eliminating us. Then I heard him yelling at the chef, saying none of us were used to Wakandan peppers.” "[X]https://archiveofourown.org/works/8688724/chapters/19918951#workskin

"All Tony was supposed to do was fix the alternator. Instead he built me a Jeep that tells me I have to initiate a proper launch sequence before I’m able to turn it on and drive.” "[Same]comment

"I’m sorry,” Midoriya retracts his hand, and Todoroki misses it instantly. “It’s not something I can fix, and that makes me sad. You don’t deserve to hear the things he tells you.” "[X]reread comment. Relatable to a degree personally

"But he has to admit the Docs greener side is awfully useful in a brawl; and his less menacing side has a wicked sense of humor, not to mention awfully good with a med kit. "[X]i like Bruce having a sense of humor

"That's what friends are for anyway, having your back when times are tough, and amusement for when times are peaceful. "[X]amusing

"Bucky didn't think he was being rude, but if Captain America said so, it must be true. "[Same]comment

"Steve’s always been a fan of cuddles, even if he doesn’t like to admit it, admit how much he needs that physical contact. "[X]I'm a fan of this concept

"Which in Steve-speak means that you’re feeling guilty as all hell over things you can’t control – again, mind you – and you can’t rest because you can’t shut your brain up.” "[Same]relate "There’s power in this act, Darcy thinks as she sucks and licks up and down his length. To be able to take someone apart with just her mouth and a few touches of her hands. Reduce them to tears or send them flying upwards into the heavens. And the knowledge that she wants to do this for him – for them – makes the feeling all the more potent. She doesn’t have to do this, but it’s her choice, and she wants to give this to them. "[Same]ponder more

"She may not come from it, but the closeness and the intimacy is far more important than any orgasm. "[X]remember

"He knows better, knows that Bakugou’s punches of greeting and movie nights at Yaoyorozu’s house with Mina, Hagakure, and Tsu, and that baking with Izuku are all love. That’s love, not the villain sat behind the desk. "[X]dark fic, author warns in notes. But this line is sweet

"Natasha Romanoff is a world-class spy, yes. But she’s also a potato chip thief who makes dumb jokes and uses emoticons (she had been very adamant that Steve learn the difference between emoticons and emojis), and Steve adores her for it. "[ch5]she's human

"Bucky flopped onto it rolling around like a dog on the soft surface, Natasha quietly responding by taking out her phone and videoing his nonsense. "[ch2]Mr. Kate style rug cuddle but solo

"“First of all, just because someone is good looking does not mean I should have sex with them. There are attractive serial killers Nat, do you want me to get murdered? Second of all, I don’t know him. Third of all, he’s not looking at me like I’m chicken wings, also Clint, seriously? Chicken wings?” "[same]lol, but I'm with you Bucky

"Even in just plain sweatpants, the American icon without a shirt was an image that would have anyone seeing stars and stripes, regardless of sexual orientation. "[X]:)

"Agent Bishop was hit with a biological weapon today that has a ninety-two per cent chance of ending in fatality within three days unless proper care is administered to disperse the chemical compound through natural methods. Meaning, in the case of humans, sexual release. As in, orgasming."[X]a legalese description of "sex pollen" ...

"Do the horizontal contra dance, yes," Darcy answered. "Well kind of, I mean there's only three of us and a contra dance is four to a group, but tango is just for two and I had to think of something fast. Come on, Stevie, this isn't the first time we've hooked up. "[X]lol

"He wanted something just for him again, even though he felt like a selfish asshole for even thinking it. So he would do whatever he could to chase after that feeling. Even if it was stupid. Even if it was silly. "[ch2]advice, remember "Tony must never read these, Steve thought. Bucky’s arm would never be safe. "[ch3]Steve Discovers FanFiction "Steve stayed focused on the screen, sticking out his tongue a little while he concentrated. It was unfairly adorable. "[ch4]Jarvis knows how to motivate Steve: a Bucky themed typing game "Good things would happen. Funny, clever jokes would be told. Sexy adventures were always available, no matter what was happening in the real world. "[X]relatable "There was even a page of ‘Bucky Approved Sex Words and Phrases’. The name alone never failed to make Steve smile "[ch7]lol "He wasn’t really writing this stuff for the money anyways; mostly he just wanted to see that other people liked and enjoyed what he was doing. "[Same]relatable: my redbubble rowan-artist

"Darcy’s eyes widened. “Oh god, I just imagined you naked, dusted in gold, on a satin-sheeted bed. My mind is a dangerous place.” “Hey, there’s always Halloween.” "[ch6]you being Steve

"Jane was rapidly nearing the angry-bear stage of sleep deprivation (there were seven levels on the Dr. Jane Foster Sleep Deprivation chart; angry bear was number five, between 'genius-level insane productivity' and 'sugar high five-year old'), "[X]also Dean Fury ... "Then you come to me, we'll kill a bottle of Jameson and make Thor carry our drunk asses home while we sing Les Mis horribly off-key," "[same]amusing

"This is why you should always read end-user agreements on friendships. "[X]not the fic but the start notes, lol. Also, Maria's entry is adorable, and Pepper potts!! "(“So what you’re telling me is you spent a week building a glorified roomba,” Rhodey says the first time he sees it, and Tony lets out an undignified huff and makes JUNK-E destroy and clean a grand piano.) "[Same]hahha

"And it’s better to be an asset, which at least sounds like something you value, than a glorified action figure. "[ch3]comment "Steve’s friendship is stronger than even Steve’s shield, and protects them both just as much "[Same ch9]awww

"Bucky actually is, but she knows well enough not to ask. Instead, she has started braiding flowers into Natasha's hair while the other girl of the group is busy making a flower crown for Thor. This is what it must be like to have real friends, Bucky thinks, lounging in his camping chair, trying to eat with one hand while Steve is holding his arm, drawing on the inside of his forearm with a black pen. "[ch2]flower crowns "I heard a lot of things I kind of projected on myself. It's probably stupid, but… it's always crazy to hear things that apply to oneself somehow." "It's the magic of music. Sam once told me about the Mr. Brightside effect–" "[ch4]yes "Bruce is on his own so much that he probably doesn't even notice that he has friends "[ch5]relatable, high school me

"The most beautiful thing however was the wall right next to the bed-- while all the other walls were the same off-white color, this one sported stripes of different colors down. Blue, red, green, purple, black, another shade of lighter blue. In the middle of these stripes, the Avenger signs were painted by a meticulous hand; Cap’s shield, Tony’s arc reactor, Mew Mew, and so on-- Darcy didn’t notice she was crying into Mara started wailing in solidarity "[ch1]draw?

"He knows it, like Steve and Bucky know that Tony needs praises and affection, not commands. "[ch8]...

"She thanked Sif (a habit she had started lately, thanking the Asgardian warrior instead of some non-present God, because really, if there was a god she wanted to follow, it would totally be Sif) "[X]nice Darcy "Even if she wasn’t an Avenger per say, she got to be on the team, both super and nonsuper alike. "[ch2]awww

"Elizabeth is going to make coffee happen, and in Darcy’s eyes that makes her a goddess. "[X]comment "By the end, Steve had been right in the thick of it, using a frypan as a shield and hurling pasta like nobody’s business. "[same]comment "Agent Hill’s bad ass levels are through the roof, but put her in front of a powerpoint and the result is coma-inducing. "[Ch3]lol "JARVIS, my man, I need some fat beats up in here. Help a sister out?” "[ch3]comment

"She knew now that it was almost certainly to do with her personal level of comfort and how hard both Steve and Barnes had worked to make her feel good. "[middle chapter]comment

"A video clip of the Asgardian scientist Tadeas and Neil Degrasse Tyson singing a scientific ballad of their own composition was one of the most viewed Youtube videos of all time "[X]lol "He grabbed [a muffin] and shoved it into his mouth, belatedly peeling the paper off. "[Same]haha! :D "Darcy put a box of Sour Patch Kids on top, “Those are for Heimdall.” "[X]comment "“No. Damnit, Darcy. You’re stubborn. Of course you’re stubborn! Jesus Christ, I can’t even imagine what it must like to be in the same room as the two of you.” "[X]best friend sass "But Clint is a human with a bow on a team of superheroes. "[X]Darcy's favorite avenger and why Ch4 music note "Apparently Thor is back on Earth. He showed up in New York right after we left and basically deafened all of Brooklyn with his displeased shouting about his missing Shield Sister. So now everyone knows I’m gone and my disappearance is trending on Twitter as #MissingAsgardianPrincess. How is this my life?! I can’t even with this shit.” "[X]mild spoiler? HAHAHA "Try having a conversation with one of them [asgardians]-- 4 to 1 odds it turns into some sort of ballad recitation. "[X]...

"The next day, Izuku Midoriya delivered his eleven page elaborate essay on how ordering sex toys inspired him to be more honest with himself and his boyfriend about what he wanted in life and in bed. "[X]lol

"“Fire for stop, ice for slow, and smash for go.” "[X]comment

[mrdanielbond]

Bond’s New Flatmate (Chpt. 9)

“Just trust me...”

Summary: As a way of helping cope with the troubles you’ve faced for the last two months, Jonathan decides to treat you to a holiday to Geneva and it is a well deserved break. A holiday with a hunk you like to drink with? What could possibly go wrong?

A/N: I don't think this chapter is as great as it could have been, I'm going to be honest. There is a little Night Manager reference...If any of you get the hint. ;) Remember Jonathan is an actor of your choice!

The two of you sat in a train cabin, heading for the airport in Ireland after stopping for a connection flight to Geneva. During this time, you enjoyed the idea of going abroad with a friend as you hadn’t been abroad in years, maybe this was the well deserved break you were looking for after all. However, the handsome gentleman across you still left you with doubts ever since you decided to accept his offer. It did take you a few days and he was patient with you, then when you told him you would be joining you, he was elated.You hadn’t seen a man this way since your dear ‘husband’ had gotten married to you.

Oh yes. You forgot to tell Jonathan you were married. That conversation had still yet to be discussed, but your excuse was that you didn’t feel like you owed him anything. You knew the man for months and had been talking to him - hell you now can say that you’ve lived with him, but there was still a part of you that felt you didn’t know him that well enough to tell him everything about yourself. Especially after what happened with James. There was no way you were willing to let your guard down that easily.

“... I mean you think we know each other well but as far as I’m concerned, I’m currently on a train with a stranger, that I happen to live with, who could possibly shoot me.”

“First of all, shoot you? We wouldn’t even make it past the airport if I had possession of a firearm.” Jonathan retorted with his hand on his heart, posing with an offended face. “Secondly, I am offended you think I would do such a thing after spending all this money on the trip and with the money I plan to spend during it to!”

“Aren’t you meant to be going to work on this trip? Surely you’d get all expenses paid, accommodation, transport, everything else you need wherever you go abroad?” You remarked.

“Excuse me, I will have you know that I paid for this accommodation-”

“Did you now?”

“Yes Ma’am, I can confirm I did so you will be left very impressed with what I have to offer!” Jonathan chuckled as he sipped on his cup of earl grey.

“Like with the fact you hid from me that you live in a freaking penthouse that is larger than the house I grew up in?”

“I don’t go around saying that, especially to the women. I’d rather have them believing I’m a man of mystery.” He smirked proudly, causing you to subtly swoon over this man’s confidence. His cockiness was subdued and often made you laugh as he wasn’t the man to often talk that way when it came to women. “Look, in all honesty I just want you to trust me. I want you to know I won’t do anything that could potentially harm you or hurt your feelings. This trip is about having a good time, not for you to trust me less than you already do. Can we try working on that?”

Oh the sincere look got to you. You were both silent for a moment, before his eyebrows arched and his lips grew into a large grin. “Besides, you already have to live with me, it wouldn’t do you any harm to at least get along with your flatmate this time.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes and playfully huffed. “If that’s what it takes, I guess I can make something work.”

The journey had only gotten better after that. You both flew in business class, and had time to read, talk to each other. Eventually, your eyelids grew heavy and you found course slumping your head on his shoulder.

"You alright there?" He chuckled as he turned his attention from his book to you."

"I'm sorry, I'm tired."

"No it's fine, you don't have to move. Keep it like that. I wouldn't want you sleeping uncomfortable."

In all honesty, hadn’t minded, he was comfortable as long as you were beside him.

When you had both arrived to Geneva it was 11.30 pm and you were extremely exhausted after the long day of travelling. All you wanted to do was to get to the hotel and sleep until the next midday. That also reminded you, what did Jonathan have in mind when he said he had dealt with the accommodation? You were not fussy, but you were hoping he would not pull a stunt and try to book one bedroom because that would not end well. Especially considering he was trying to gain your trust and not lose it. This time your guard was staying up. He was not going to knock this down.

You were in complete awe at the beautiful city at night. The thousands of beaming lights from the houses and hotels, you could even see the lake in all its beauty and the faint outlines of the mountains in the midnight blue sky. The new fresh air made you sigh happily as Jonathan helped you with your bags into the taxi. You couldn’t help but smile at him. If this place was a complete magical place at night, imagine how captivating it was during the day. You had always dreamt of going skiing in the Swiss Alps travelling through Lake Geneva. Never had you thought there was a chance this could happen.

Neither were you prepared for the surprise you faced from Jonathan when you arrived at your hotel. It was a large chalet, vibrantly shining before you. Jonathan could see the smile on your face and was in awe by your fascination at that moment. He faced a warm feeling now seeing that you were excited, even though you did a good job of keeping composed.

The night manager stood at the counter smiling upon your arrival. “Good evening, I am the Night Manager, at your service.”

“Hello, I have a reservation under Harrington.” Jonathan stated.

“Harrington. Ah, we have been expecting you Mr. Harrington, you have booked the best room we have to offer. The Lake Geneva suite, five star quality, I’ll just grab the keys and show you to your room.”

The three of you made your way to the room together. Jonathan turned to you, seeing that you had your eyebrow raised and your arms folded. A reminder of the conversation you had on the plane, based on a joke about having a secretly prestigious background. The man turned to you and whispered, “It’s the name I have to use from the company. I know you’re looking at me as if I’m related to royalty, I swear to God I am not. My surname is far from it.”

Even with his breath against your ear, a tingling sensation emerged quickly. You know it was wrong and tried to push it away but this man had been winning and you were stuck under his spell for the time being.

“What is it then?” You boldly asked back.

Jonathan placed his finger on his lips and winked.

“Like that’s supposed to make it any better.” You rolled your eyes. The man had the nerve to keep even the simplest of things from you! That’s when you realised that on this trip, it was going to be your mission to get to know who you were now living with as much as you could.

The suite was incredible, and to your relief it was a two bedroom luxury suite on the top floor. It had a perfect view of the city and the nature behind it. The lake from a distance and its mountainous regions, but it also contrasted with the urban life below. Yet again, this wasn’t what you had expected to come from Jonathan.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take my bag.” You quickly stopped Jonathan and pulled your small suitcase from him.

“There she is again, wanting to be all Miss Independent. Well, there are two rooms, you get to decide which one to have and I’ll take the other.”

“Pine?”

“No.” He called through his room.

“Jonathan Pine - it has a nice ring to it.” You said smirking.

“I’m not named after a bloody tree.”

“I bet it’s something embarrassing like cocks or Dickon.”

“Jesus Christ, you must think my family really hate me. Of course it’s not!”

His comment made you grin. “Is it even English?”

“You’d be able to pronounce it just right. That’s all I’m going to say.”

“I’m starting to think your surname is actually Harrington.” You suddenly started as you sipped on the glass of wine, provided by room service. Your legs were placed to once side as you made yourself comfortable on the couch, already dressed in your long t shirt and shorts for bed soon.

Jonathan entered the living space and raised his head from his phone chuckling, “Believe what you want but I assure you it is not that.”

“Are you sure it’s not an embarrassing one? I will not make fun of you that is the case.”

“What is the deal with the surname talk? You plan on ratting me out to my boss or do you plan on marrying me? I wouldn’t mind being the first man to put a ring on your finger.” His laughter suddenly erupted and filled the room, caused you to nervously laugh with him. The latter at this stage was impossible for millions of reasons that you could not say aloud. You watched the man make his way to the glass coffee table and swipe his bottle of Guinness. You couldn’t let him have the upper hand, so you casually leaned back on the luxurious couch beside you, smirking as you took a sip from your wine.

“Look as much as the latter appeals to me, I want to know at least something about you that is at least as basic as your surname. You are literally a closed book! It is completely unfair that you know so much about me yet I know so little about you!”

Jonathan eventually turned to you and there was something about this man that also wound you up. It’s almost like he knew you inside and out, all the things you loved and hate about anything and everything but he still remained an enigma.

“Who’s fault is that?” He asked, catching your attention.

“Okay - it’s mine but still! Give me something!”

“In due time, good things come to those who wait.”

“Fuck this, I’m going to bed. Good riddance.” You let out a large huff and pulled yourself up. He quickly took your hand before you could leave, as you quickly spun round and almost tumbled into his lap, stopping yourself at an abrupt halt. Your hands were on his lap, intertwined with his. When your eyes moved up, you were caught in his orbs and time stopped for a moment. Your breath hitched and all thoughts in your mind left you blank.

“Ah, I’m sorry, let me just.” You quickly pulled your hand out of his and stood back.

“Oh no you have nothing to apologise for. I didn’t even realise I was doing that. I should be the one saying sorry.” He laughed nervously.

“No - no. It’s fine.” You tried to recollect your thoughts and remembered why you were standing in the first place. “Christ, I need some sleep.” You face palmed, “Don’t look at me, I’m going to walk back and if you try to grab my hand, you will not be using those to touch anything else, mister.” You sassily managed to retort. Your attitude caused him to laugh hysterically on the couch.

Beams of light shone through the closed curtains of your room and forced you to awaken from your slumber. While you remained in a blanket cocoon, head against the large pillow, you realised that sleeping comfortable was something you had gotten used to thanks to Jonathan! Given the fact that you were apprehensive at first when it came to being around him in such a closed space, wondering if you were a burden to him, it was quite the opposite. He had proven to you that he valued your company greatly and this holiday he promised he would show it.

“Yes, I’m aware of that. I’ve been busy with a lot of work. It’s not my fault!” You hear Jonathan’s voice and can’t help but step forward to see him wondering around the living space in a casual white t shirt and jeans. He looks “Look, now is not the good time to talk. I’m out working, it’s unsafe for you to call me. No of course not!” He turned to your room door, where he found you quickly ducking aside. “Look, we’ll talk about this another time. I’m busy.”

A few seconds later you slowly stepped out heard him speak once more, “Ah! Good morning, Y/N! My terrible spy, you need to get dressed. We’re going out.”

You rolled your eyes, how did he know you were spying on him when you were convinced your reflexes were fast?

“I thought you were meant to be working.” You retorted.

His face turned into a large grin. "You’re my guest, I can’t have you not having fun abroad! Come on, there’s something I must show you!” You watched him pick up an apple from the fruit basket provided and take a large bite. You looked from the movement of his muscles around the tightly fit shirt, to his tousled hair.

“Y/N, you’re drooling.”

Your eyes suddenly widen, “If I’m drooling for something it’s that apple. It looks bloody delicious.”

“Sure you’re not talking about anything else?”

“What could be more delicious than that apple you’re holding?” You asked with a blank expression.

“I can name a few things.” He said proudly grinning. What was that supposed to mean?! “Stop getting me distracted!”

“I wasn’t doing anything! You’re the one who’s actually drooling!”

“Don’t try this reverse psychology. It doesn’t work on me. Now go on, get changed, we’re going out for breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?”

“Oh god, yes.” You said as made your way back to your room.

When you stepped out of the shower, your phone buzzed against the desk. It was your beloved husband, you managed to snag a picture of him while he was sipping his tea, you remembered how after that photo was taken he scolded you for doing so. Quickly you answered the phone.

“Y/N! Thank goodness you’re there, I’ve been trying to reach you for ages!”

“How long has ages been?” You asked calmly, even though you could sense a panic in his voice.

“All yesterday! You wouldn’t pick up your phone! Are you alright? What’s been happening?”

“I’m fine, nothing’s happened to me." You answered, confused.

“I tried asking Bond where you were, says you haven’t spoken to him in a long while, so I tried the hotel you told me you were staying in and they said you checked out a couple of weeks ago. Is everything alright? Are you sure you’re not in any difficult situations because I’m home now, if you’d like to stay with me.”

“No I’m fine, honestly. I’ve just been keeping myself busy and I’ve got somewhere else I’m staying for the time being.”

“You know James is not as worried as I am. Forget him, but I feel obliged to watch and protect you.”

“Listen, I'm perfectly fine, you don't need to watch over me. I’m kind of just taking a break out of London. This whole situation has taken its toll on me, I haven’t been feeling to great and-” Before you continued you stopped and turned around, “I swear to god if you’re lurking behind that door I will pick up my hair brush and throw it at you.” You heard Jonathan quickly shuffle away and mumble an apology, causing you to smile helplessly.

“Who?” Q asked.

“Not you. Someone else.”

“You’re staying with someone else?”

“Yeah, it’s just a friend who apparently likes to eavesdrop as much as I do in conversations. It’ll pass.”

“By any chance is this who you’re living with?”

“What’s with all the questions? You know - we’re not-” You stopped yourself quickly.

“I know. I just - want to make sure you’re safe. That’s all. I still can care about you, you know.”

You didn't know how to respond to that, considering you hadn't realised that Q still cared after all this time. The way you two had ended was more down to his part of not being able to contact you after being hired by the MI6. He distanced himself from you and with that, you grew accustomed to the situation.

“That’s nice to know, Q. I just need time to get out and think that’s all. Look, I’ve got to go, I’m supposed to be heading out any time soon and my friend is waiting for me, I’d rather not keep them waiting.”

“Oh - right that’s fine. Just make sure you drop me a message to let me know that you’re still there, alright? I do worry for you and I fear that we may not have been able to talk things through with the little time we’ve shared together. I’d like to know how you’re doing if James isn’t going to be the one to tell me himself.”

“Alright.”

“Have a good day, Y/N.”

You could tell the tone in his voice on the other end of the line showed great concern. He was truly worried and you could tell. However, this was Q. You knew him to be vulnerable when you first married him, although ever since you had reunited with him, he seemed more cold, sarcastic, immune to emotion, after all maybe that’s what his time in London could have done to him and somehow, that’s what caught you by surprise. But then there was another thing too, why had he been calling you the moment James was gone? What triggered this sudden feeling of needing to know how you were and where you were that only a significant other would feel. You managed to brush it from your mind and opt for a pair of dark blue jeans and a plain white shirt with trainers. Something casual, nothing that Jonathan hasn’t seen you in before.

As you stepped out, you found him opening the door for room service and smiling at you once the tea had arrived. God that smile. If only you could see him in only just an innocent light. Although you couldn’t. This man, there was something about him that kept your heart racing, sometimes left your mind blank and most of all intrigued, wanting more from him. Something that you admittedly once felt for James but that quickly vanished when you had second thoughts. But with Jonathan, there were no second thoughts. It was just him that constantly gave you that feeling, even from a simple smile. He looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world that mattered, which left you also feeling vulnerable, as though he was silently pulling down your guard.

The two of you headed to to a nearby café on foot and eventually Jonathan opened up about himself a little more. He spoke about his hobbies and interests. You learned about how he hadn’t always wanted to work in the murky world of espionage and actually aspired to work in a completely different career.

“You surely have the talent with how dramatic you are. I’m sure I told you a couple of weeks ago that this was your destined career.”

“I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction.” He laughed, “You get very smug when you’re right about something. It’s one of the little things about you that really sticks with me. You give a smirk like that! What you’re doing right now!”

“I’m not doing anything!” Your gasp turned into a laugh.

The two of you spent the rest of the day sightseeing. Jonathan took you to the nearest bike rental store and the two of you spent time cycling and getting to know the city you were staying in, while Jonathan was courteous enough to explain everything as he had been here before, once. You rode past the Palais des Nations building in complete awe with what remained before you and Jonathan could see it when you had stopped, causing him to quickly break and move back to you.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing. Never thought I’d see it in person. The architecture is something that had always appealed to me with buildings like this.”

“You like a little architecture? Then follow me my lady, I will show you the right place to go.” He said with a smirk, beckoning you to follow him.

It had been almost twenty minutes of cycling until Jonathan stopped in front of St. Pierre Cathedral and you had to say, you were gobsmacked. The architecture was a thing of beauty, again something you hadn’t expected to see in such a short space of time but Jonathan took pride in showing you around a place he knew. He stepped off his bicycle and helped you lock both of them as you made your way into the cathedral, theatrically leaving his arm out for you to hold onto. You took it with a smile as he spoke to you about the history of the building and how he learned from it on a drunken night out, stumbling on this place and meeting someone who was knowledgeable enough to speak about the place. Then before you knew it, you were exhausted, making your way back to the hotel by the time it reached 5.00 pm.

While inside the taxi, Jonathan spoke to you further about places you wanted to see, and if there was anything particularly you wanted to do, which you suggested skiing straight away. The quick suggestion made him laugh and he had promised you that it was going to happen.

There was a look of sincerity in his eyes when he turned to you, which caught you off guard. “Look, I know it is late and you probably want to get some rest but I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to this restaurant I’ve been meaning to try out tonight.”

You raised your eyebrow, “I imagine I have no choice because you already booked a reservation?”

“Most definitely but again, I’m only trying to do the gentlemanly thing by asking you.”

“If this is some fancy place, you know I don’t have anything to wear - right?”

“It’s fine. We can sort something out.”

“This is not a date.” You quickly stated, pointing your finger in the air quickly.

“Well, what happens in Geneva stays in Geneva.” He stated, “But it’s two friends just having a drink, so be it.” He winked, causing your stomach to stir with butterflies.

[torestoreamends]

A Very Albus Recap (London, 2nd and 21st/22nd March)

I just want to throw out a little Joe Idris-Roberts recap, because he’s been on fire the last couple of times I’ve seen him (Saturday 2nd March and Thursday 21st/Friday 22nd March), and his brilliance deserves all the recognition in the world. Here are just a couple of the new things he’s started doing that I’ve been really excited by.

Blanket scene

There are a couple of things in this one. Firstly, at the beginning of the scene Albus lies down on the bed curled up on his side, with his back to the door. It’s clear that he wants to find his own peaceful bit of space, but he still seems happy enough to interact with his family. When James comes in he lifts his head and looks back to make exasperated eye contact with Ginny, and when Lily comes in he looks round at her and shakes his head to tell her that he hasn’t seen her book. 

As loud and chaotic as his family are, and as out of place among them as he feels, it’s nice to see him existing among them and being himself. He doesn’t have a problem with them being in his room at all really, right up until the point when Harry comes in. That’s when Albus stops relaxing, sits up, and shuffles right up to press himself against the end of his bed, making himself as small as he can. 

Secondly, towards the end of the scene, Albus does the unthinkable – he disrespects the blanket. In a lot of portrayals, even Albus acknowledges that the blanket is a sacred object and takes care of it. There was one memorable performance in which Tom Mackley threw the blanket at Jamie Parker so hard that Jamie didn’t manage to catch it and it fell on the floor. The look on Albus’s face was so full of horror that he clearly understood the magnitude of what he’d accidentally done. But with Joe’s Albus, after a point he doesn’t seem to care anymore. It’s just a mouldy blanket after all. 

In the last performance I saw, once Harry got up off the bed and started talking about packing, Albus swung round to take up the whole space, which meant that he stretched his legs out down the length of the bed and right over the top of the blanket. He was essentially sitting on it, and Harry was absolutely livid. If he’d wanted to rile his dad up, he went about it in exactly the right way. 

Hogwarts through the trees

I’ve never seen this before, but in the performance on Thursday night, Albus somehow managed to enter this scene backwards. Normally the boys walk from the back of the stage into position facing forwards, so they see the view open up ahead of them, but in this one it seemed as though Albus was trying to avoid looking. He didn’t see the view until he was right in position beneath the arch, and then he turned round and his reaction was so sudden and so real. It was a burst of every emotion under the sun, hitting him all in that one moment. 

Joe’s expression in this scene is so profoundly beautiful. It’s everything and nothing all at once. Albus is overwhelmed by what he’s seeing, and he understands how stunning it is, and what it means to Scorpius, but his own relationship to the school is so complex that there’s heartbreak in there too. He wishes Hogwarts could be so uncomplicatedly beautiful to him as it is to Scorpius, but it’s not, and that really hurts. There are tears in his eyes, and he looks so small and sad and inadequate, but of course to Scorpius he’s anything but inadequate, even if he doesn’t realise it yet. Joe is a master of saying a thousand different things with one simple, restrained expression. 

Staircase ballet

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone do anything that revolutionary character-wise in this scene, so it was actually a surprise to see Joe suddenly do something so different. He’s mentioned before that there are times he’s found the show’s blocking quite restrictive, and I wonder if now the directors’ attention is elsewhere he’s finally getting to show us the things he’s never been allowed to do before. 

He’s always got to the top of the first staircase and acted like he’s found an unexpected dead end, that’s nothing new (although I love how Albus’s path through the school is constantly blocked and thwarted, while the staircases take Scorpius wherever he wants to go – there’s a beautiful metaphor for their relationships with Hogwarts there). What was new was the moment when he ducks through the space beneath where Scorpius is sitting. 

Albus normally moves straight through that space and on up the stairs, but in this one he stayed under there and hid. He peeked out a couple of times to see if Scorpius was gone, clearly trying to avoid him, and when he realised that Scorpius wasn’t moving he sprinted straight up the stairs, like he was running away. 

It was all perfectly timed to the music still, and it was so interesting to see the choreography used to tell a new element of the story. Joe’s Albus’s story has always been that he’s trying to avoid and hide from Scorpius, he won’t even look at him, but this was a new extent. A new layer. 

Library scene 

There are two things to mention in this scene too. The first actually relates heavily to something in another scene. In the Act Four scene in Harry’s office, when Draco says ‘if its takes centuries, we must find our sons’, James has started grabbing the Time-Turner and getting ready to go, finger on the dial, about to search all of time for his son before Harry stops him. And in this scene, that was exactly what Albus tried to do too. 

The second he said ‘you’ve still got the Time-Turner, right?’ and grabbed it out of the bag, he went running across the room with it, finger on the dial, ready to go and get Cedric and Rose back. It changed the wrestling from being about pure ownership of the Time-Turner to being about Scorpius trying to stop Albus from doing something stupid there and then.

The second thing also requires a bit of background explanation. I’ve been furiously trying to figure out Joe’s library and torture scenes for the longest time, and it turns out that once you’ve understood one, you’ve understood them both. He explained to me at stage door that his Albus is a strategist. He doesn’t get scared, he just thinks – he suppresses his emotions in favour of coming up with a plan. So when you see him shutting down and not responding in the moment to Scorpius’s speech or to Delphi’s torture, it’s because Albus is five steps ahead and choosing to delay his emotions for another time. 

More on the torture scene later, but in the library scene he shuts down the second he sees Polly leaving the room. Of course he’s listening to what Scorpius is saying, he’s taking it on board, but he’s aware that McGonagall is going to show up at any second and there’s no time to get emotional. He can’t fix Scorpius’s problems there and then; the top priority is to stop them getting separated again, and that’s exactly what he does. Only when they emerge from under the cloak does Albus finally respond, and what a response. 

In the last show it was actually the beginning of Albus’s apology that was most fascinating. He separated the thoughts about the cloak into two separate instances, so it became both a commentary on his relationship with James and a guilty admission of his own problems. The first part, from ‘Yes I stole this from James’ to ‘his trunk combination is the date he got his first broom’ was joking, mocking his brother, and it finished with a ‘how thick can you get?’ sort of ‘duh’. Then there was a long pause before the second part: ‘I found the cloak made avoiding bullies easier’, which was said so quietly, reluctantly almost, like he didn’t want to admit that he’d had to hide. Maybe he was embarrassed to talk about his life being rubbish after everything Scorpius just said...

Torture scene

I discovered a couple of weeks ago that there’s one line that unlocks Joe’s delivery of the torture scene: ‘The flaw in the Time-Turner, the five minute rule, we do everything we can to run down the cloak’. In that performance it wasn’t a desperate half-baked suggestion being flung out, it was a strategy that Albus had been thinking through since he realised what Delphi was going to do, and he was counting on it to work. 

Everything that comes before that – Scorpius being tortured, Craig’s death, Delphi’s jeering – is all something that Albus can’t bring himself to engage with, because he’s focusing on the goal, which is for him and Scorpius to survive the preamble, get Delphi into the maze, and then lead her a merry dance for five minutes so they get timed out and she can’t use that task to save Cedric. Once again he’s five steps ahead. He has to be. That’s how he’s going to survive this hell, and more importantly it’s how Scorpius is going to survive it.

It isn’t until the moment when Delphi out-manoeuvres him and smashes the Time-Turner that he’s out of control. That’s when the emotion finally kicks in, when suddenly he has no plan at all, his dad is suddenly in horrible danger, and he and Scorpius are lost. 

I’ve found over the last year that if Joe’s not delivering what you expect emotionally from Albus in a situation, there is always, 100% of the time, a really good reason for that. The tricky thing is finding it, but when you do? It’s the most rewarding and exhilarating thing in the world. 

Harry and Ginny find the blanket message

This may be strange to say, but this has truly become one of my favourite scenes in the show with this cast (this and the hospital wing scene have both been unexpectedly gorgeous this year). 

The reason I adore this scene so much is because it’s such a clear assertion from Albus of how he feels about his dad. It’s the moment when Albus decides that he’s going to reach out and repair their relationship, come hell or high water. 

‘We’re starting with Dad’ is the most stunning line. It would be so easy, as Scorpius suggests, to write Harry’s name on the blanket, but Albus is absolutely determined that it’s going to be Dad. Because Harry is his dad, his dad who he loves and misses and wants so desperately. It’s Albus offering the first hand of peace across time and space, from Godric’s Hollow in 1981 to his own bedroom in 2020. There’s something so powerful about that.

The other powerful little gesture in this scene is in a similar vein. Whenever Joe’s Albus sits on a bed, he flips the pillow up so it rests against the bedstead, every single time, and in the last show I noticed that he did it here too. I couldn’t work out at first why that had such an impact, but then @ohscorbus mentioned that Albus doesn’t go back to his room after he runs away in the blanket scene. In fact no one goes in until Harry and Ginny do on Hallow’s Eve to find the blanket, and when they do, Albus is with them, if not in body then in spirit. 

It’s another little act of ownership, it feels like. The only thing that’s been touched in that room is the blanket, which is still at this point very much Harry’s possession – I doubt Albus feels an ownership over it, especially after how he treated it – so the first person to move anything is Albus, across space and time, and it’s to make the space more comfortable for himself. It’s one of those little things that he’d do to take ownership of the room if he were really there and planning to sit on the bed and do homework or whatever. 

Albus taking up his own space, taking ownership of it, inhabiting it, is so important a step for him. He’s uncomfortable and unhappy everywhere it seems, and little things like that feel like a step on the journey towards feeling better.

The penultimate scene

There’s no convoluted meta here, just a good, old fashioned hug. I absolutely love how when Scorpius hugs Albus in this scene, Joe’s Albus gets entirely lost in it for a second. There’s a moment when he forgets himself and buries his face in Scorpius’s shoulder. It’s a very long, peaceful moment. And of course it ends with him remembering that they don’t hug, but it’s so very clear initially that there’s nothing he wants in the world more than Scorpius’s hugs. There’s a solace between the two of them, and it’s still and pure and beautiful. They feel at home together, and I suppose that in the moment of that hug, before his brain kicks in, Albus has never felt more at home anywhere than with his best friend. 

[rifleshotsandflowerpots-blog]

In which Jade n Jake meet and both the similarities and differences are striking between them. @tallyhothere

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)Last Thursday at 8:36 PM

Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and you are currently galavanting around the not countryside at all. Is cityside a word? It is now! You are galavanting around the cityside as you explore the concrete jungle you find yourself in.

It's been exciting! It's been new! It's been thrilling! But most of all...its been COLD AS THE DICKENS.  So you have found a sneaky technique to beat the chill is to step into random shops and browse around a bit.  Marvel at all the knick-knacks, chat with the clerk a bit.  Then skidoo out for another block or two. 

At this juncture, you find yourself jingling the small shop bell and are greeted with perhaps the best shop you've seen yet! Plants! Flowers! A bona-fide jungle inside a box!  Wonderful!  And warm....very warm.

You step inside, coat a flashing eyesore blinking as you start to look over the various flora. @🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)Last Thursday at 9:05 PM

Your name is JADE HARLEY and you're in your flower shop again. You are.... well, not fine but you will. In time. For now you felt like taking care of your plants!   

You just need to keep your hands busy and well, you think you've done enough murders for the next couple of days. Also you still got orders to finish! Not a lot mind you, but you like to keep on top of things. 

 You're finishing up another bouquet when you hear the bell ring. Another customer maybe? Or a friend perhaps? You do love to chat when it's a dear friend!~ 

"Just a minute!!" You say, tying the final bow for the flowers. Aw, this arrangement is rather pretty actually. Blue's a calming colour.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)Last Thursday at 9:20 PM

Oh! A voice! Sounds like a lady, but who knows.  "Alright!" you call back.  "Take your time, don't rush?"  You aren't really sure what you are supposed to be saying in this situation.

Walking among the flowers, for the first time since you've arrived you actually feel a pang of homesickness.  The snow is a marvel, the city is fascinating, but...also so unfamiliar.  Being surrounded by greenery feels comforting in a way, even if it is an artificial jungle.

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Oh! That's an odd accent; maybe a newcomer to the city? How fun! 

You set the lovely arrangement to the side and dust off your hands before walking over to where you heard the voice come--what on Derse is that weird light show coming from among your plant??? 

"Hello??? Sir??" 

No raves in your flower shop! Well at least there's no obnoxious music.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

Your attention is turned to the voice as you try to make your way towards it.

"Hello! Sorry! Was distracted!  Quite a lovely shop you have heeeeee...."

Your words taper off as you round the corner and for a moment you are confused by the lady in front of you.  She looks like the old photos of your grandmother, down to the hair.  Age her up some and she'd be a spitting likeness.

You blink, shake your head, blink again.  Hwah...wow.  Weird.  Maybe she's related to the Jude Harley fellow?  It suddenly dawns on you that this is another realm alltogether...she could in fact be a daughter or a granddaughter in this time to your grandmother?  The sudden concept that you could have very well a timeline of family who never had to deal with the batterwitch's terrible undertakings leaves you a bit speechless.

So you just stand there flabbergasted.

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You blink at him. And then blink again just as astonished.

You have absolutely no idea who his guy is before you, but he reminds you alarmingly quickly of your Grandpa. You don't have much in the way of photos, but you remember his eyes, and his voice and it just... leaves you speechless.

Almost choked up even. He looks like a young version of Grandpa--!

Actually the longer you stare the more you kinda see Jude in him. A cousin to him then?? Maybe you and Jude might be more related than you thought.

"Ah.... w-well... you're new!"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

The vintage memory standing before you speaks, and you are reminded she is in fact a person and not just a surreal memory.  Right, she's....likely someone else entirely.  And you're here staring at her like a buffon.

You look away at the plants and give a laugh that is uncharicterisically shaken.

"Ahaha! I am! Right you are on that!  Bit of a newcomer to this city of Midnight!    Can sort of say I just dropped in really!"  Another laugh, a bit more comfortable sounding this time.

"I must say, been in and out quite a few shops but this one so far gets the egg!  Think I've seen more plants here than I have the entire time I've been here so far!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You pick up on that; his nervous laugh reminds you that this guy can't be your Grandpa. He's dead after all. But the way he responded to you... well. You definitely don't think he knows you but maybe someone similar?

"Well it is a flower shop." You smile brightly, gesturing around you. "There's not quite a flower shop like mine in Midnight City! It's my way of bringing a bit of colour to this city~"

You eye his rave coat. "Though I must say, I think you've gotten me beat! I'm surprised that the Fashion Police hasn't stopped you yet."

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"Well I'd have to say you've done a right good job of it.  Bang up to the elephant even!"

Some of the plants are not anything like you've seen, but there's a few that make you think of home.  You lean over to smell one of the more tropical flowers.

The comment about the coat gets a chuckle.  "You aren't the first person to say that...what even is a fashion police?  I've met one policeman so far and he seemed rather friendly.  I didn't think the coat is that bad...though I guess not being able to turn it off really does make it a bit rough on the totsies."

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Oh god he kinda talked like your Grandpa that's so weird!!!

"Why thank you Good Sir!~" You giggle, hands clasped behind your back as you observe him. "The Fashion Police are exactly what they sound like; they're a whole division devoted to making sure we Derse citizens stick to wearing clothes of the 1920s."

You tip your head as you step a little closer to the Grandpa double. "An off switch would have been smart yes!~ Really, I can't imagine that you came to Derse the legal methods; not that I'd tell anyone of course! Promise!~"

You really do. He's only in his odd coat and short shorts! And it's winter!!! Just how the heck did he get to Derse???

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"Huh....quite the oddity!  Wait....is it the 1920's?"  You suddenly look a bit confused. You thought this was just another planet.  "I swear this whole thing gets more and more tomfuddled the more I hear about it..."

Rubbing the back of your head, you think a moment.  "True.  Granted at this point not even sure if it does turn off. Been going for as long as I remember...but sheesh. I've yet to figure out what the legal methods are so not sure if I am or not? I suppose portal in sky meets ground is on the backlist of no-go.  I appreciate that though, last thing I came here to do was get arrested. Specially for coming here!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Oh. Oh dear. He doesn't seem to have noticed much since he got here! When did this guy even arrive to the city?

"Wait wait; first! Not actually the 1920s but because of Prospit winning the war against Derse, they implemented the Technology ban and thus life on Derse has been stuck in the world of Earth's 1920s; yes that does include the alcohol ban too."

"Secondly..."  You narrow your eyes, and place you hands on your hips. "You came here via portal in sky???" That sounded very much like Dirk, but more on purpose. "Where did you come from exactly?"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

Prospit? War?  You read about the ban in Arq's files but huh...this all just sounded utterly silly.  Then again did you really have room to speak mister wearing shorts in the middle of winter?  Nope!  So you don't speak up on that bit at all.

At her gesture, you make a visible yerk as you are temporarily transported to a time when you were a child and your grandmother made that exact pose. The James Hamilton English what are you doing mister pose that causes the reptile part of your brain to immediately feel guilty over everything you have ever did in life.

"OH!  Well! Ah." You find yourself a bit more tongue-tied than you've been in years.  "It's a bit of a humdinger of a tale, probably going to make me sound more like I'm zozzled out of my gourd trying to sell you a dog."

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You arch a brow, completely dissatisfied with that answer. He's kind of a dork, this double, but quite open about his expressions. Makes him pretty easy to read!  Poor sod; you hope he has friends that'll keep him from being manipulated then. 

"Well, good thing I already have a dog." Bec was the best boy hands down. "Now spill! If you came via portal, I'm guessing it had to be a very powerful portal to bridge you here from Earth. And since there wasn't any rips in the sky or blinding flashes of light, this portal had to be more discreet to not be spotted." 

All assumptions you make, but you say them to gauge.... this guy's expression.

....you should ask a name soon though.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

Well, she certainly seems sharp enough to know a bit about portals and things...so maybe this would be more believable.  If anything, worst case she'll think you're a nutter and that's that.

"I think it was discreet?  Hoo. Granted from my perspective I just felt like I was hurtling down from space itself for a bit, so not sure how big or small it was from the other end.   The portal my friends and I hopped through was about uhh....yey big.  Maybe the size of your shop window?"

You gesture as you speak, as if you're incable of speaking and standing still at the same time.

"As for where I came from! Well! From another planet it seems, in a whole other dimension!  Earth, though a different Earth. My friends and I came across time and space to find and rescue one of our dearest friends who vanished when we tried to transportalize him over!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

If you hadn't experienced Candy Hell and Horror Town you honestly would have thought him nuts! And yet you have and thus you believe him. He is also being openly honest about it too; there's nary a lie that you can see.

He's so innocent; untouched by the city and its own set of poisons and pain. He hasn't experienced what it's like to live in Midnight City, a world blacker than it's name suggests. 

You have a desire to protect that, but push it away. This wasn't like how it wa with Jay. You're both couldn't possibly be related!

"So... you came here. To my dimension. With other people. Just to find a friend??" You admire his loyalty.

Wait the only guy that he could be possibly referring to was--!

"You're here for Dirk!"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

The idea that it seems odd or perhaps suspicious that a random flower shopkeeper would know Dirk and catch on so quick is completely overshadowed by how excited you are to talk about all of this to someone.

"I am!  I am indeed! You're sharper than a tack!"  You smile wide.  "Days....I guess now months back?  Hoo time stuff. Time stuff I must say is the worst stuff.   Some time back Dirk vanished in our attempt to bring us all together at long last, and so the rest of us put our collective noggins together to find out he fell into some rift or wormhole that had unexpectedly shown up!"

You give a slight spin, coat flowing around behind you as you do.

"So we found a way to get here to find him! And I have!  Which is good, because hoo-diddy did I get very lost for a bit there.  But he's currently having a bit of a trouble spot with one of our other friends so I'm just...hm. Well I'm giving them some time and space to sort that barrel of figs out.  Gives me a chance to explore this whole city thing in all its delights and  marvels!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You smile back. My god this boy is too precious and he's probably the same age as you. You might be that sharp but him? Duller than a butter knife. Or maybe you're just jaded and you hide it smoothly with your bubbly personality. One or the other.

You mean, he just told his whole story to you, a complete stranger! You sincerely hope he only did that because you remind him of someone, or that his friends are smarter street-wise; this city will gobble him up otherwise!

"Well, I'm glad you found Dirk then. He's a lovely friend." Good kisser too. "Though I'm worried about this trouble he has..." You figure it has to do with the Felt and Arquius. You do hope they both will be alright, all things considered. 

"Though if you were going to go explore, I have to ask why you didn't put on something a little warmer??" You question, eyeing those booty shorts. If you didn't like wearing pants on principle, you could probably pull off a pair of those too.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"I'm glad too. I was expecting to have to search high and low for him in who knows what wilderness.  It didn't even dawn on me that he'd end up in a city, but perhaps for the best!  It's quite a nice place...full of people!"  you smile brightly.  "Did you know there are friendly trolls here?  Wait why am I asking that, of course you would.  Ahaha...sorry!  It's just been such a plum novelty since I arrived. Everything is so different, magical even!  Street lights, crowds of people, SO MANY PEOPLE, shops of just...things!  And snow!"

You look down at your outfit and chuckle.

"Yeah that was a bit of a blind-shot for me there, really should have thought of that one before I jumped.  It actually skipped my mind that of all the places to go, one may be a place that has more than one season that isn't tropical island. Hahahah...I mean I'm not sure I'll be here long enough to worry about getting pants."

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Oh no he's ridiculous you want to protect this idiot child so much he rambles!!! You can't help but giggle in delight at his antics! 

"So I guess you were raised on an island then? A quiet one?" You tease just a little bit. "That sounds lovely; I think I used to live on one myself a very long time ago. I think that's partially why I have this flower shop. The city's not quite as colourful as an island!" Minus the red, black and pale light district of course.

"There's troll, humans and carapaces all living in Midnight City. Some are lovely people but others not so much. You best be careful when exploring; not everyone may take kind to you and your shorts~"

"....you know what? I don't think we ever exchanged names!" You can't keep calling him Dork in your head. "So sorry about that! I'm Jade! Jade Harley!~"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"A bit yes.  Though that's likely another long tale in and of itself. " You grin.  It's just so...novel to be able to talk to another person face to face.  Is this what it's like to have a normal world and normal life?  Is this...small talk?  "It's true...this city does seem to be a bit low on color. But the lights are remarkable!  Just everywhere sparkling like the stars came down to nest!"

The caution is noted...you did expect sooner or later someone was going to get a bit irate at the strange man running around in shorts and flashing lights.  Dirk had offered you some of his clothes but...that felt a bit odd.  Besides, may as well enjoy this chilling cold while you can.

Your smile goes wider at the mention of name exchange, but you can't quite hide the surprise when she introduces her name and you feel yourself once again thrown for a loop.  Ooh heavens to murgatroy, this just got weird again.

Maybe she's an alternate younger version of your grandmother...or maybe she just was named after HER grandmother who would have been your grandmother. Oh god, what if she's an alternate YOU.  There is a bit of resemblence there.

"Ah! Right right.  I'm Jake. Jake English.  Please do m-meet you  G-Miss Harley!  Don't suppose you are related to the Jude Harley fellow I met a bit ago?"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

"That's Midnight City for you! The city that never sleeps~"

Jake English; well not quite your grandpa's name but close! You're pretty sure his name could've been Jake too. Though you vaguely remember calling him Grandpa Harley.

"Please! Just call be Jade! Less I call you Mister English in turn!~" Oh he's met Jude?? He come to think of it, he kinda looks like Jude too! Hmm maybe in his dimension that Jude could've been an adult relative?? 

"So you've met him?? No, no relation of any kind! We just happen to share a last name. I don't have any blood ties." 

A small white lie, but you're not about to tell your possibly alternate younger grandpa about your illegally experimented dog gal sister when you've barely told anyone else.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"Righto!  Jade it is! Pleasure to meet you Jade."  You give a good proper bow this time, realizing you should have done that earlier.  Human interraction is difficult.

"I have! I well, ran into the poor gent headlong when I shot into the brown on my landing here.  Still feel a bit bad for that really. Should make an apology proper before I leave.  Quite and alright chap!"

You listen to her speak and nod solemnly.  "The Harley name is quite the prolific one I daresay.  Was my grandmother's, though since she passed I think...well shoot maybe it's not that prolific at all now. Well that's a bit of a humdinger....SO! What do people here do for fun?"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Oh he's bowing; you let out a giggle and curtsy back. He doesn't have to actually but hey, you've always been a go-with-the-flow kind of gal~

"Oh! Yeah I think so; Jude's a sweet guy if a little shy." You like Jude a lot; you might not be related but he's a darling! Especially after learning he's not a stalker.

Ah; how odd! His grandma's dead, yours is too.... or maybe you're grasping at straws with that tidbit. "Well we are stuck in the 1920s so there's a lot of swing clubs and we still have movie theatres and casinos and the like! There's also bars if you know where to go; technically it's illegal to be drinking, but people love their drinks too much to really give it up."

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

The giggle she gives sounds so much like your grandmothers, it's uncanny.  If anything, there was a strange surreal comfort at the idea that perhaps this is another time and place where your grandmother is alive and gets to have a happy life running a flowershop versus well...what all happened in your time and place.

Your eyes light up at the concept of clubs, and theatres!  Casinos...eh not so much cause it isn't like you have any money to gain or lose.  "Fair fair.  Not much for the gigglewater myself what with the whole island thing....though Roxy is quite fond of it.   She'll be glad to hear there's that."

You chuckle, not showing any opinion on the legality of things.  Not like that kind of thing is really your concern.  "A theatre sounds nice though! I don't think I've ever been to one before so I should definitely try to get to do that!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

"Roxy? Is she another friend of yours that came to find Dirk??" You wonder how many that makes; currently that's four people from the same different universe. How are they going to go home? Would they even make it back successfully...?

"There's are a lot of fun! I don't go often but sometimes it's nice to go watch a movie with some friends and popcorn. I very much recommend the theatre on Main and Bayview; they always get the newest movies first~" 

Honestly that sounds fun; you should probably go see a movie when you get a chance.

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"She is! She's the smartest most talented church-bell I've ever met!  One of my best friends!" One of your only friends, but you aren't going to let that detail get you down.  "Her, Hal and myself all jumped through and here we are. Though I guess Hal is now Arq?  I have noticed people sure love their name changes when coming over here. "

You laugh and then listen, nodding enthusiastically. 

"That sounds perfect!  I'll get to try popcorn for the first time! I've read about it, it sounds delightful!  Thank you for all these suggestions."

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

Awww she sounds wonderful. Maybe with your luck, you might run into this Roxy lady too. She sounds very pretty! And sweet~ "I think that's because there exists in this world a Hal? He's... he's very neat all things considered, but he was here first before your Hal~"

You laugh and smile back. "It's not any trouble Jake! Just be safe! The city is wonderful but it can be dangerous; not everyone is a sweetheart like you!~"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"True true. I've noticed there seems to be a bit of a double up.  Wonder if there is another of me out there on adventures.  Maybe I'll get lucky and run into him before I have to go."  You like to assume that he is somewhere out there...doing some grand escapade.  Probably is really cool.

"Well if this city is half as pleasant as you are, I can't imagine it being anything but a paradise!  But I shall do my best to stay safe.  I hope I can meet you again before I go though, this has been the most delightful of meetings."  It's true, and admittedly you'd like to see this place once more before you stop off and away.  It feels so much like home, and she looks so much like her that it kind of recalls old feelings you wouldn't mind having at least once before you lose any chance again.

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

"Maybe!" You doubt it, if his counterpart was indeed your grandpa. Who is very much dead. Definitely not alive anymore.

You give another bright smile and before you know it, you're giving him a warm, patented Jade hug. "I concur!  You have been the most interesting person to enter my shop today! You're welcome back any time! You can bring your friends too it would be nice!~"

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

The hug is a surprise, but a welcome one.  Goodness, it's been so long since you've been around people in general. But then you got hugs from Roxy, and Dirk, and Arq, and sort of one from the little green fellow, and now this!  Hands down, this is your best city experience ever.

You are already starting to miss it.

But for now, you smile bright!  "Oh! Definitely! I'll make sure to bring them as well! I expect they'd love this place, and be glad to meet you too! Thank you so much Jade. You've been the jammiest bits of jam!"

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You give the best hugs! You've been told this many times so it must be true.

"You're very welcome Jake!" You let go after a few moments, hands clasped behind you once more. "You are also quite the darling! I hope you all get home safely. And uh," You eye his coat and shorts, amusement all over your face. "Try to find something warmer okay? City winters can be harsh, too harsh to wait it out."

Mabs (PI/02/gT Jake)01/19/2019

"Can do!" You give her a salute and a smile.  No sense bringing up the whole what is money and how you have none of it, the last thing you want is to come across as a nose bagger.

"Until next time!  Tally ho!"

And with that, you turn and make your exit.

🌺 Shadow 🌺 (Jade/Skylla)01/19/2019

You smile and wave him off, watching as he steps out of your shop and braves the cold once more. What a curious individual! And so very, very trusting. Too trusting even.

You pull out your phone and stare at it a little. Telling the bosses about people apparently dimension-hopping into yours would be pretty important you feel. You'd rather not give those Felt bastards any more potential help if possible. Hmm.... yeah, you should let others know.

Though you do hope Jake goes home. He would be safer that way.

[piracytheorist]

1)Oh god, how I love your responses. So voluminous and worded as a tale I can read before bedtime or in the evening (and I do that! I missed you too!). You can see lots of details linked to something that was years ago in the show and I love it! Why do you think Rogers'name is Charles? I can't decide what I think. Btw why Zelena and Robin didn't need that elephant to perserve their relationship?

Awww, that is so sweet! Thank you so much

Anyway! I think it would be cool if Rogers’ name is Charles, first of all because of Prince Charles

and secondly because of how J. M. Barry (the author of Peter Pan) describes Hook in his book :“In dress he somewhat aped the attire associated with the name of Charles II” - which is part of the reason I think the writers nicknamed this above appearance as Prince Charles.

Of course, the most obvious choice would be James, from Captain James Hook. Another, less obvious one, would be George, as some other fans had suggested, because traditionally the actor who played George Darling (the children’s father) would be the one who also played Hook, and since they didn’t do that in OUAT, I think it’d be cool to give that name to Wish Hook.

But honestly, I think we’ll never know, so we may as well decide on one name on our own.

As for Zelena and Robyn… well, I’m inclined to say “Fuck me up” because it looks like Killian and Alice, especially Alice, got the worse end of the stick of this curse. Ella held onto the white elephant, yes… but she didn’t just keep her daughter, she also kept Tiana, as well as her relation with her stepmother and stepsister (which may not have been the best, but well…). Regina was alone too, but we didn’t get to see anything remotely tragic in Roni’s backstory (as far as I remember) and she has a fairly good-working bar, Weaver ended up being a dirty cop who was actually praised by his subordinates for torturing someone… Henry got it bad, too, what with the dead wife and daughter thing and the failed author thing too… but then you have Rogers, a lonely recovering alcoholic who remembers spending ten years blaming himself for the disappearance of the woman who unbeknownst to him had tricked and tormented him, and Tilly… don’t even get me started. I’ll only say two words: storage container.

I think that the writers were simply a bit lazy. They had to include Robyn in Hyperion Heights, but probably didn’t want to think how differently to make her relevant. I don’t even know.

2) God I love what you said about Rumple using Hook’s death for taking his powers back and now I need them to end it the opposite way, he saves him to get rid of them (or something like that)! Anyway I hope you are warm in Greece, because, God, our other parts of Europe are really cold these days, even my cat is cold. And I saw pics of your purry furry friend, he’s so cute and he looks actually quite alike with mine! :)

I really wanna hope they’ll end it that way, but then again… I try to not get that hyped up with this show ;) 

It’s getting a little warmer now, but where I live it’s very cloudy and/or raining very often, so since most houses don’t have a dryer, doing laundry is a painful matter. I literally went to the self-service laundry because I was running out of clean clothes. It’s not that we don’t get any sun, it’s that it’s a little and even then it’s very cold and humid, and when you’re used to having too much sun… well…

I have a new pic of my cat! This time he decided to rest his chin on my laptop, as he lay beside me on my bed :P

I had to use flash and probably blinded him a little XD The air vent is on that side, so it probably was warm enough for him, plus my laptop probably has my scent as well, so I think he enjoyed it there :P

[littleleapers-diaries]

About last year…

This morning, over a year after I last updated my field blog, I sat at the kitchen table browsing through a friend’s facebook-page. She had just come back from a six-month long trip to Madagascar, her posts showing a mixture of joy to be back with her family and friends and heartache at having left Madagascar. I stirred my tea and absent-mindedly fished out some pieces of cinnamon bark that I had brought back from my first trip to the island in 2013. I knew exactly how she felt. I had been feeling the same for the past seventeen months.

But this post is not meant to be about how I still can’t watch documentaries on Madagascar because I get home-sick for it, or how I haven’t spent time with my Malagasy friends for over year, no: With this blog post I’d like to address that last year of a PhD, the one when all the field work is over - the writing phase. The one phase of a PhD you don’t see much about on social media but that occasionally pops up in your University newsletter with the title “Don’t forget to take care of yourself!”.

I wasn’t scared of the writing per se, I’m good at it (most days), and I wasn’t too worried about the analysis part either because I’d taken care to collect specific, easy-to-analyse data (or so I thought). I had planned out the year, with crucial dates for finished chapters, giving myself plenty of time for each to be sorted, analysed and written up. The timeline worked out much better than I thought and last month, before Christmas, I handed in a finished thesis. Eleven months after I wrote the first word. But the entire time I was in a downward spiral of despair and anxiety. So, what happened in the end?

A combination of factors made my life difficult: I had loved being in the field and in Madagascar and the reverse culture-shock was pretty bad, especially since I moved directly to Sweden, a country I was unfamiliar with, to be with the boyfriend. In Sweden I worked at a University to finance my stay and to figure out whether I could work in Europe-based conservation. It was a long, dark winter and it became apparent quickly that while I enjoyed the work there, my expertise lies in tropical countries making me feel like I was losing footing in Europe. The double pressure of working part-time and writing a PhD did its part to make me feel overworked and under constant stress. Additionally, I tried to figure out how to stay in my (very loving) relationship while pursuing my job interests. Working in Madagascar WITH the boyfriend wouldn’t work (for multiple reasons), but I didn’t know of any alternatives and the boyfriend wasn’t suggesting anything either which frustrated me a lot. I became thin-skinned and irritable, easily despaired and unfocused. I lost my centre somewhere along the path and as it happened so gradually, I only realised it once it was too late and all the “take a break from work/do yoga/read a good book” tips didn’t help me anymore. It was not that I had become depressed to the point I couldn’t get out of bed anymore, I’d just become a very different, unhappy, person under all the stress.

A few things played to my advantage: I have been through emotionally rough times before and can read my personal warning signs - I know when I need to get professional help (which I did – shout out to the therapist). I have a fantastic support network and family who have always made sure that I have a safety-net under me, emotionally and financially, and I have two very relaxed and understanding supervisors who never had problems with me taking some time off (which I didn’t, but it was good to know that they wouldn’t have minded). So, while I finalized the writing over the past months, I spent some time with soul-searching in my parents’ house, signed up for a mentoring program for women in STEM sciences and learned how to play drums.

All of this helped, but then two crucial things happened: First, after discussions with my supervisor, a project idea popped up that I got really excited about (and excitement was something I hadn’t felt in quite some time) and secondly, I finished the thesis. The minute I sent it off to be printed I felt like all the stress just dropped off me. I felt re-centred and like myself again and only then I realised how much of my problems had stemmed from this huge responsibility. A responsibility that nobody besides me really cared about, which made it even more stressful as it all lay solely on my shoulders.

And this is why I am writing this post. Most of the problems I mentioned above seem very specific to my situation and obviously I can only write from my own experience, but after all this I finally understood what all the “PhD and Mental Health”-pamphlets are about: Doing a PhD puts you under a kind of stress unlike other situations. You are scared of failing, you are overworked or feel guilty because you didn’t do as much as you thought you would, you can never switch off because it’s always there and you have no idea about your future as the job offers didn’t come flooding in like you expected them to. It can’t just be me, right?

I wanted to summarize some of the things I realised while writing this PhD, and in the last few weeks after having sent it off to be judged by other scientists. Some tips to consider that may prevent you from spiralling downward. Maybe the following is relevant to you, maybe not – you have to judge for yourself.

1)      Be prepared (as well as you can be).

There are some fantastic books out there about what it is like to do a PhD. If you’re unsure whether you want to commit to a postgraduate study or about to start one, I can only recommend looking into them!

-  “The unwritten rules of PhD research” by Marian Petre (this one I can highly recommend)

-   “PhD: An uncommon guide to research, writing & PhD life” by James Hayton

-   “How to get a PhD: A Handbook for students and their supervisors” by Estelle Phillips and Derek Pugh

Obviously, there are more books out there, some dealing with the daily life of a PhD student some with how to plan and write your thesis. In the first year I wrote down a list of advice from a former PhD student on twitter and stuck it next to my desk. That helped prepare me for some of the issues ahead (such as prolonged procrastination or lack of motivation). Look around and get smart about things, it’ll help you deal with what’s coming up!

 2)      Make plans.

Plans help. Plan your next vacation. Or conference-trip. Anything from fixing a date for going to the cinema (yes, I’m a 90s child) to planning out the next five years meticulously. Plans help. They give you cornerstones to hold on and look forward to and, most importantly, they give you deadlines. “Doing your PhD” mostly means working independently, on your own, with only your own motivation to guide you. And motivation fails, as we all know. If you intersperse the long weeks of sitting in the lab/in front of your laptop with small breaks that you can plan, you will automatically procrastinate less. It structures your life and you’ll have something that you feel in control of. And you can practise letting go when plans fail, as they often do.

 3)      You are not alone (!!!!).

Two of the most common problems PhD students face seem to be a) feeling isolated and b) imposter syndrome. Isolation can stem from being left to your own devices because of uninvolved supervisors or working on a difficult topic that not many others can relate to or because of multiple other reasons that occur while you are working on becoming a sort-of expert in your field. Which brings us to the other point: You’ll never feel like an expert. You’ll always feel like you don’t know what you’re talking about although you just studied the same topic over the past three years. It’s called imposter syndrome and it can be incredibly stressful. Constantly feeling inadequate although you are working hard to become knowledgeable is not healthy in anyway and can cause serious anxiety. I myself haven’t had a bad case of imposter syndrome. I am lucky to have realised three things very early on: There will always be somebody better and more knowledgeable than me, there is no shame in admitting you don’t know something and (this is important) most people feel insecure, so basically none of us feels like we know what we’re talking about most of the time. However, it may help you to read up on these challenges if you feel like you are experiencing the same things. There are some helpful tips out there!!

Here are some articles on the struggles THAT ARE REAL:

-          http://www.businessinsider.de/phd-students-could-face-significant-mental-health-problems-2017-8?r=UK&IR=T

-          https://qz.com/547641/theres-an-awful-cost-to-getting-a-phd-that-no-one-talks-about/

-          https://www.vice.com/en_nz/article/j55edk/getting-a-phd-is-bad-for-your-mental-health

  4)      Prepare your support system.

The stress will take its toll on you and may affect your physical, emotional or mental wellbeing (or, and hear me out here, you might be just fine? Who knows?). In any case it’s important that those around you, your friends and family, know what you are going through. Talk to them about your issues, tell them what you need from them (a shoulder to cry on? A cup of tea? Somebody to do the laundry?) and involve them in your progress. Not everybody knows what “doing a PhD” entails, and the more you tell them about what you are going through, the better they can be there for you if you need them.

In my case, the stress changed my personality quite a bit, and if the boyfriend hadn’t been so understanding (he’s a scientist himself) he would have been quite shocked at the change. In this way, he could be there for me when I needed him for support (and laundry).

By involving those around you, you are basically securing a safety net for yourself in case of a hard fall. If you don’t fall, you’ll at least have a group of cheerleaders to cheer you on, which counteracts potentially isolating situations.

5)      With all that focussing on the brain – don’t forget about the rest of your body!

EXERCISE! Even if it’s just a short walk, or gentle yoga every evening (like I did) or, if you actually enjoy sweating and running (like I don’t), go do some serious sports! Prolonged sitting is bad for you. It’s bad for your posture, it’s bad for your digestion and, I learned that the painful way, it can cause some serious haemorrhoids. I’m writing this while sitting on one of those inflatable-donut-thingies that I got for Christmas (yes, that happened), so take it from me: MOVE IT, MOVE IT! It’ll help with your focus and productivity as well and can also alleviate some of the stress of all the travelling you’ll have to do as a PhD. I’ve been known to do yoga (or impromptu dance sessions) in airports in-between flights.

At the very least, make sure your chair/table is adjusted properly.

I’ll conclude this post by mentioning that most of the personal issues that arise from doing a PhD stem from how the system is structured. Yes, we are putting a lot of stress on ourselves but that is often because we are scared of failing in a flawed system that rewards quantity rather than quality. In my opinion funds shouldn’t be distributed according to “what’s hot right now”, and that good science takes time that we are not granted if we want to succeed. It angers me that the way to a fixed position leads over a path of years’ worth of struggling to find funds and not knowing what the next year brings, whether you can afford to feed your family, or even have a family. But that is just my opinion. At this point I don’t have any idea how to change the way things are, but as soon as I have, I’ll do all in my power to do so.

For now, the last bit of advice I can give you is to check out what your University has to offer in terms of mental health support. The struggle is real: it’s not about how we’d all like an easier life, it’s about how we’d like to go through life without despair and anxiety. We need a better dialogue about the struggles of doing a PhD. We need to get the word out what students are going through and be there for each other, it’s the system that has to change, NOT US.

If you’d like to share your experience or any have tips on how you got through your PhD, feel free to write to me on twitter! @LittleLeapers_

[kidhuzural]

so I wrote a really small and really smutty Regulus/Sirius for a Project at a forum I’m in, so you can find it here or under the read more.

“Hey, isn’t that Regulus?” James interrupted their conversation and pointed out of the coffee shop window and three pairs of eyes searched the boulevard they were in until they found the boy. Sirius shrugged and tried to ignore the sight. His brother had stopped taking to him ever since Sirius left home and went to live with James two years ago. Regulus was sixteen now, while Sirius was almost eighteen and while they crossed paths at school, they didn’t speak with one another. 

“Is he...” Remus asked, blushing, eyes going wide and Sirius had to look at his brother again, who was clearly entering a store at the end of the boulevard that, apart from the black windows and the bright red lettering, was usually avoided, mainly by people their age. Sirius stood up instantly and left the coffee shop without even saying a word. Peter called after him, but none of them stopped him. That was, after all, Sirius’ little brother entering a sex shop.

He jogged to the shop, not really thinking. He needed to protect his brother’s innocence. When he finally entered the store, he was greeted by an older woman who was writing things on the store’s computer. She didn’t look at him twice and Sirius could only get angry that this woman wasn’t even paying attention who her customers were. Regulus was sixteen, for fucks sake, he wasn’t supposed to even enter a shop like that.

Ignoring the woman so far, Sirius walked inside the store – and he had to admit it was bigger than he thought – and tried to find Regulus. However, when he finally found him, he stopped in his tracks and gaped. Regulus had two – dildos? Vibrators? Sirius didn’t really know a thing about these toys, apart from them having a phallic format and being used to go inside people. And Regulus was actually looking at them as if considering which one would be the best and Sirius had mixed feelings.

Firstly, because it shouldn’t, but it was hot as hell. Secondly, his younger brother apparently knew more about sex toys – and maybe even sex in general – than him. And thirdly, there was a nagging thought at the back of his mind that pointed out that Regulus shouldn’t need any toy if Sirius was more present in Regulus' life. And wasn’t that completely twisted? They were brothers, Sirius certainly shouldn’t be thinking any of that in the first place.

Regulus has, however, grown up nicely. He actually looked good and Sirius had always been honest with himself when he saw a hot bloke. And damn, Regulus was hot. And looking at phallic sex toys, with probably the intention of putting them inside his arse. Sirius wondered for a moment if Regulus would think of anyone as he fucked himself on that toy, and he was suddenly very jealous of whoever it was that made Regulus want to be fucked by a fake cock.

“Regulus.” His voice was a growl and Regulus jumped, holding both toys tightly against his chest as if to protect them from view – not that it worked, there were pictures of the toys in both boxes. Regulus paled when his eyes fell on Sirius and Sirius couldn’t help but notice that Regulus was actually embarrassed and he hadn’t seen it in years. Regulus always managed to have this air of superiority about him, like nothing could faze him. But now he was clearly vulnerable as he looked at Sirius in shock, and Sirius liked to have the upper hand for once. “What are you doing in a sex shop?”

Regulus swallowed nervously, but couldn’t avert his eyes. “What are you doing here?” Sirius deadpanned at that and just looked at his brother.

“I saw you entering a fucking sex shop and came here to...” Sirius hesitated, somehow feeling stupid now. Regulus' eyebrows went up, clearly curious as to what Sirius was about to say. “You do know you’re underage, don’t you? You shouldn’t be here.” Regulus scoffed at that.

“You’re also underage. Besides, better I come to a sex shop than I go to a club to find a stranger willing to have sex with me, right?” Sirius saw red at the thought. No one should touch his little brother, no one should corrupt him. Sirius walked to Regulus and grabbed one of his arms, but he only gripped the boxes tighter, probably afraid Sirius would take them from him.

“Why are you looking at... Fake dicks?” Sirius still had no idea what to call them and it was Regulus’ turn to deadpan.

“Why do you think I’d want to buy a vibrator?” Regulus asked, finally going back to his old self now that the shock of being found out by his brother was vanishing. The question shouldn’t have surprised Sirius, but it had been said so matter-of-factly, as if Sirius was an idiot, that Sirius felt his cheeks warming. Fuck. He was imagining Regulus fucking himself with one of these brightly coloured cocks and he shouldn’t feel aroused, but his hard cock begged to differ. 

“I can fuck you, if you want it so badly.” Sirius said with a hoarse voice and it was only when Regulus blushed prettily, eyes widening and mouth opening into a small o, that Sirius realised he had actually said those words out loud. He was about to apologize, to let go of Regulus’ arm and bolt from there, not even going back to the café in shame when Regulus spoke.

“Yes.” His voice was barely a whisper and Sirius could tell he was breathless, pupils dilated. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Regulus wanted that too. Regulus wanted his big brother to fuck him. God, what was wrong with them? “Mom and dad are travelling. I’m... all alone at home. Do you, uh, want to go there?”

Sirius had promised to himself that he would never set foot into that house ever again, but he couldn’t exactly bring Regulus to the Potter's. And if they were doing this, they’d need all the privacy they could have. So Sirius nodded. Regulus actually brightened up, a smile forming on his face and Sirius was totally taken aback by it. Sirius was internally freaking out, even though it was undeniable he wanted it as well.

Regulus went to put the vibrators back in place, but Sirius stopped him. “Which one do you like most?” At Regulus' curious face, Sirius continued. “I want to fuck you with it first. And then, when I leave, after I finish fucking you, I want you to fuck yourself with it and think of me.” Regulus was blushing violently now and he squirmed a little, making Sirius look at his brother’s crotch and noticing that he was just as hard. Looking back at Regulus’ face, Sirius smirked. “So? Which one?”

Regulus gave them a final look before deciding on a purple one. “It has a prostate stimulator.” He explained in a low voice so only Sirius would hear it. Sirius nodded, wondering what the hell that meant – he needed to do some research.

“Go pay for it. I’ll wait for you outside.” Sirius said and Regulus nodded eagerly. Regulus had always been endearing, but Sirius never thought he’d be so due to anything related to sex. When Regulus went to pay, Sirius got out of the shop and he grabbed his phone, finding many messages from his friends asking him what had happened. He texted them back letting them know he’d walk Regulus back home and, to only James, he told him he’d spend the night with Regulus – he even lied, telling James he was worried and would stay a while to make sure Regulus stayed there and he’ have a long talk about not going to places when you were underage. James knew Sirius still cared about Regulus. There were nights when Sirius would go to James’s room worried and James would have to calm him down so they could both go to sleep. So he was already expecting James positive answer. 

“So... Shall we go?” Regulus asked once he left the shop. Sirius pocketed his phone and nodded. They chose to get a taxi to the most ancient house of Black, since it would be a long way to go by foot. They were silent the whole ride and whenever Sirius turned to look at Regulus, he noticed his brother fidgeting, clearly nervous. Sirius wondered if he should go back to James’ house and forget anything that happened at the sex shop, but his own words resonated in his mind and he knew he wouldn’t be the best person. He wanted Regulus and while it was scary just how much he wanted him, he was also excited to have him.

Once at home, they entered the house but then hesitated. This was happening. There was no going back. Regulus cleared his throat and gave Sirius a pointed look before going upstairs. Sirius swiftly followed. Regulus’ room was pretty much the same since last time Sirius had seen it. Organised, no posters on the walls or any memento in sight. Regulus was a very private person, always had been.

Regulus turned his bag on the bed, showing that not only he had bought the vibrator, by he had also bought lube and condoms. Good. That meant Regulus probably didn’t have any, which would mean he had never had sex before. Regulus then turned to Sirius and but his lip coyly. Sirius' cock throbbed in his trousers due to the sight his brother made.

“Take off your clothes and get on the bed.” Sirius instructed and Regulus hesitated before doing as he was told. Sirius brought Regulus' chair closer to the bed and sat there, having a nice view when Regulus lied down. “Now, do what you usually do.” At that, Regulus blushed violently but he nodded and grabbed the lube.

With his fingers coated in the transparent substance, Regulus brought his hand to his cock – hard, red, lean – giving it a couple of strokes before going south, ignoring his own balls but then finding his hole. Regulus opened his legs even more, setting his feet on the bed and Sirius could see Regulus’ hole, the pink muscle clenching on nothing until the finger reached it. Regulus sighed as he rubbed the muscle with the tip of a finger and Sirius couldn’t look away. 

Slowly, Regulus started inserting a finger inside and Sirius wanted so much for that finger to be his, to feel Regulus’ heat enveloping his finger and he’d have just a slight idea of how it would feel on his cock. However, it was Regulus was being incredibly hot, touching himself in front of his big brother, moaning wantonly as his finger breached the ring of muscle. Not being able to hold himself back, Sirius opened his own trousers, freeing his hard on and it was enough to make him groan as well. He started jerking off slowly, just to take the edge back, not wanting to come before he fucked his brother – even though he knew he would probably be up and ready again in no time with his brother acting like that.

Regulus added a second finger far too soon – at least Sirius thought so, since he had never done such a thing himself, but from what he’d heard, this took time. But then again, perhaps Regulus was more used to the feeling than Sirius wanted to admit. He quickly started to open himself up, scissoring his fingers graciously. Sirius looked at the whole expanse of his brother’s body and he could see how flushed Regulus was, the thin layer of sweat making him glister in the afternoon sun coming in from his window. However, what made him squeeze the base of his cock so he wouldn’t come on the spot was Regulus eyes staring straight at Sirius as he moaned unabashedly.

Fuck. If Sirius had any doubts if Regulus wanted this, he’d be certain now with that look directed at him.

As if challenged, Regulus added yet another finger, eyes rolling back as a loud moan escaped his lips – at the back of his mind Sirius wondered if he ever did this while their parents were home, because he was extremely vocal, and even at a house as big as theirs, they could probably hear this. Regulus didn’t take long with three fingers, though, deeming himself prepared as his clean hand patted the sheets until he got the vibrator box. He tried opening it, but his hands kept slipping and he groaned in frustration.

Sirius decided it was time to join in.

He got up from the chair and took off his clothes as teasingly as he could and he was proud to see Regulus’ eyes absorbing the view he made. Then, he walked to the bed and took the box from Regulus’ hands, opening it and taking the vibrator. He clicked the on button and he saw the toy come to life and from the corner of his eye, he could see Regulus squirming. Sirius smirked at his brother and got on the bed after turning the toy off again, leaving it on the bed beside them. He knelt between Regulus’ thighs, taking a spare pillow from his brother’s bed and with Regulus’ help, Sirius put the pillow underneath Regulus’ lower back. Now he could see the hole clenching on nothing yet again, but this time it was covered in the lube and Sirius just wanted.

He took the vibrator and coated it with lube – perhaps putting more of it than he should, but he thought there wasn’t such a thing as too much lube – and he set it on his brother’s hole. At the small push – and he had been as careful as he could – the tip of the vibrator was already in and Regulus was moaning again, moving his hips so he could get more of the vibrator inside of him. So Sirius did as he wanted until the whole thing was inside. Regulus was breathless, his hands holding tightly on the sheets, legs tense as he tried to get as much pleasure from it as possible.

And then Sirius turned the toy on.

His eyes remained on Regulus and it was worth it, because the way his brother’s face contorted in pleasure was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Somewhere in his mind, he ached that this might be a one time thing between them and even though Sirius didn’t want that, he couldn’t exactly continue in his brother’s life after this.

Locking these thoughts away from the moment, Sirius started moving the vibrator in and out of Regulus as his brother writhed on the bed. Regulus tried to take his cock in hand, but Sirius stopped what he was doing and slapped his hand back, Regulus’ eyes focusing on his face as he spoke. “You’ll come on my cock. Not from jerking off, not from this toy, but from my cock.” Regulus eagerly nodded and he could see Regulus’ eyes losing focus as he gave himself in to the pleasure. 

“Sirius.” His little brother’s voice made a chill run down his spine and he wanted to take the toy off of him and fuck him relentlessly. But he had promised to tease Regulus before giving him what both of them wanted. “Get it faster.” He begged and Sirius conceded, making the toy vibrate faster as he fucked Regulus with it. His brother closed his eyes now, unable to keep down his moans, hands gripping tightly on the bedspread. “Sirius!” Regulus called him urgently and their eyes locked again. “I’m gonna come, I—“ His sentence was cut short by a loud scream as thick ropes of come painted Regulus’ chest.

Sirius looked at him dumbstruck for a moment and he turned off the toy , but kept it inside. He wanted to admonish Regulus for coming after Sirius told him he should only come on his cock, but the sight of his brother coming had been so perfect that it would be forever in his mind. Regulus was trying to catch his breath, but he got a bit restless after a moment and Sirius noticed Regulus’ hole was clenching and unclenching around the toy. Sirius cleared his throat before speaking.

“Do... Do you want me to take it out?” Regulus managed to turn his head so he could look at Sirius and slowly he nodded. Sirius was saddened for a moment and he looked down to take the toy out when Regulus’ hoarse voice made him look up again.

“I want you to fuck me now.” Sirius blabbered something intelligible but Regulus only smiled. “I’ll get hard soon enough. Just—fuck me.” It was Sirius turn to mod eagerly and he grabbed a condom, opening it and putting it on his cock. He then took the lube and coated himself with it. When he looked at Regulus, his brother was biting his own lower lip – and while Sirius was almost certain Regulus wasn’t doing it deliberately to tease him, it only made Sirius harder.

So without further ado, Sirius positioned himself better between Regulus’ legs and he brought the head of his cock to his brother’s gaping opening. Sirius slid inside easily, but Regulus was tight around him. So soft and warm and tight. Fuck, Sirius hoped he would last. Regulus gave a happy sigh when he was filled, and their eyes met again. He had the most open, honest smile Sirius had ever seen and Sirius was overcome by the knowledge that he had been the one to put it there.

Not really thinking about what he was doing, Sirius leaned forward and caught Regulus’ lips on his own. Their mouths opened quickly and their tongues mingled with each other in desperation, needing to taste, to love. Sirius started fucking Regulus slowly, but when Regulus’ hands went to his hair, grabbing it so Sirius wouldn’t stop kissing him, Sirius started fucking him harder, faster. Regulus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, urging him to go deeper, to reach places not even the toy could reach.

They moaned and groaned into each other's mouths, but they didn’t stop kissing. When Regulus tensed and let go of the kiss to moan Sirius’ name, Sirius realised that not only had Regulus gotten hard, but he had come yet again. That, and the clenching around his cock, were enough to push him towards the edge and he, too, came with his brother’s name on his lips.

They remained in each other's arms as they caught her breath and Sirius was too blissed out to think of anything besides how fucking awesome this had been. Which was why he was taken totally off guard when Regulus spoke in a small and vulnerable voice.

“Stay.” Sirius rose his head from where it was resting on Regulus’ shoulder so he could look at his little brother and Regulus pointedly tried to look away, so Sirius pulled his face towards him by the chin. When their eyes locked, Sirius cupped Regulus’ face and with his thumb he started stroking it. “I just...” Regulus spoke, voice still a bit rough due to all the screaming. “I’ve always wanted to do this. With you.” Sirius froze, eyes widening. Regulus opened his mouth to speak again, but he thought better of it and closed his mouth, but he didn’t try to look away from Regulus.

“By always, you mean...?” he asked, because he needed to know. Sirius had never thought of Regulus like this before seeing him at the sex shop. Regulus blushed as he answered, voice nothing but a whisper.

“I’ve always loved you. More... More than I should, I think. Last year, though, I... I started wanting you.” The intensity in his eyes as he spoke made Sirius realise how big this was. “So I went to the sex shop and... I bought a dildo first. Small. Just to try it out. And I thought of you when I used it. Then I went back again and again and each time, you were the one I thought whenever I touched myself.” Sirius was still shocked, but there he was, lying on top of Regulus, dick still inside his brother’s body. “That was why I was so embarrassed in seeing you at the sex shop.” Sirius slowly nodded, still trying to understand what was going on. “You... Are you leaving?” Sirius caught the implication in his brother’s eyes.

“Not today. I can stay until mom and dad come back, but then I’ll have to leave.” Regulus' eyes were filled with tears and he tried to look away but Sirius didn’t let him. “But we can see how this—“ he moved a hand between the two of them. “—works. We can go out together. Fuck.” Things couples used to do. Regulus actually opened a smile at that and he brought Sirius for another kiss. This kiss was tender, softer and Sirius understood it wasn’t a heat of the moment kiss. No, this was a kiss that meant so much more than sex and attraction. This kiss sealed things. This kiss made whatever it was between them, real. And honestly? Sirius couldn’t be happier.

[1randomfatdude]

A Friend Ch. 3

Remus Lupin was sitting at his House table eating has Steak and Potatoes, while reading Ivanhoe. He was on chapter three when he saw his Brothers-in-arms walk in a little bit miffed. Remus got up after saving his place in the novel and walked over to them.

"Where is Merlin's Beard have you guys been?" Remus asked his friends, "You three missed the Care of Magical Creatures O.W.L! Professor Kettleburn will probably fail you three if you don't plead for a new test date!"

"Yeah, don't remind us Moony," James told his friend.

"What happened to you guys anyway?"

Sirius stepped forward, "We got jinxed and hexed by some Hufflepuff. Who, get this actually HELPED Snivellus!"

Remus sighed. "Well I've been telling you guys for years now. That one day either Severus or someone else would stand up and teach you a lesson. "

"Well we never thought it would happen!" Sirius snapped at Remus.

"Hey don't get snippy with me!" Remus barked back at Sirius, "I'm not the one who picked a fight and probably failed their Care of Magical Creatures O.W.L!"

Sirius raised his hands, "Alright Moony, Peace!"

Peter intervened trying to keep the peace. "Listen, Moony we need your help. We need you to identify the guy, we know what he looks like but we don't know who he is. So, will you help us?"

Remus looked at his friends. "You point him out and I'll identify him. I'm not getting involves with your petty vendetta."

Remus walked back to his spot with James, Sirius, and Peter following him.

"Oh Moony!" James laughed, "You're no fun anymore!"

"Is that him?" Remus asked as another Hufflepuff walked in.

Peter looked up from his Beef Stroganoff. "No, he had brown hair that went to his neck."

Remus kept looking at the door, he had finished his steak and was probably not going to get back to reading Ivanhoe anytime soon.

"Is that him?"

James looked up. "I can't tell, Padfoot?"

Sirius stood up, "NO, he wasn't that fat! That's that one reject...Clearwater."

"Okay, listen guys I don't think he's gonna show."

"Oh, no...He'll show." Sirius growled.

"How, do you know?"

Sirius was quiet. "Just keep your eyes open!"

Peter had an idea, "Hey, that Hufflepuff went away with Snape and Evans. Maybe he'll walk in with them."

"Great thinking, Wormtail! You're Two for Two!"

Peter smiled, it was nice to be getting recognition for once.

So, Remus kept an eye out for Severus, and Lily seeing if the mysterious Hufflepuff would show up with them.

Then, they appeared. Severus, and Lily walked in with a Hufflepuff. Brown hair down to his neck, regular build, and he was with Severus and Lily. The Hufflepuff turned around to go sit at his House Table. Remus blanched, he prayed that he was wrong and his friends didn't pick a fight with this Hufflepuff.

"Okay, I hope i'm wrong, but is that him?" Remus asked his friends.

Peter, James and Sirius looked to see the culprit walk casually down to his seat.

"Yes that's him!" Peter exclaimed.

"There's the bastard!" Sirius growled.

"Awesome. So, who is he Moony?" James asked his friend.

Remus looked up at his friends.

"Please, for love of Merlin. Don't tell me you got into a fight with Samual Yalarad."

"THAT"S SAM YALARAD?" Peter screamed in terror.

Sirius and James clamped his mouth and sat as low as they could in their seats so that Sam wouldn't see who called out his name.

James and Sirius let go of Peter's mouth.

"Jeezus, Wormtail! You almost gave us away!" James scolded his friend.

"Yeah, Wormy what's the matter with you?" Sirius added.

'Well it was fun while it lasted.' Thought Peter.

Sirius started the conversation back up.

"So, who is that Yala-whatever his name is?" Sirius asked his Marauder compatriots.

"Padfoot," Remus started. "Sam Yalarad is the son of Silas Yalarad!"

Sirius had a blank stare on his face. "Moony I get you are trying to ease me into an epiphany, but can you just tell me?" Sirius bluntly asked.

"Samual is the son of "Seven Wand" Silas!" James interjected.

Sirius' eyes widened. "What? Sam-Mule is related to one of the greatest Aurors to ever live!"

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying!"

The group got quiet. Then James broke the silence.

"Alright, now that we know our culprit. Let's plan a swift and embarrassing payback!"

Remus blanched. "Well keep me informed on your vendetta."

His friends were dumbstruck.

"Moony," Sirius started. "Aren't you going to join us?"

"No thanks, this is your problem. You deal with it!" Remus retorted as he went back to Ivanhoe.

"Prongs is right, you're no fun anymore Moony!"

Sam Yalaread walked out of his Herbology O.W.L with the upmost confidence that he got an 'O' on it.

The studying he did with Severus and Lily really paid off. He was on his way to the Library to meet up with Severus and Lily to see how they did on their O.W.L's. As he was walking from the classroom he noticed out of the corner of his eye that he was being followed.

And as he turned the corner, he saw that Sirius Black was following him, and he didn't seem too happy.

Sam quickly made his way to the Library. If he made it the Library he'd be under the safe, but fierce gaze of Madam Pince.

As he ascended the staircase, he saw Pettigrew outside the entrance of the sixth floor.

And so he ascended up to the Seventh floor. Gryffindor Country. No Man's Land. Sam was on his own.

Pettigrew joined Sirius and started slowly chasing after Sam, as not to attract attention to their misdeeds.

Sam was in the heart of the Seventh floor, and when he turned a corner... There was James Potter with his wand out. Ready to hex Sam into Oblivion.

Luckily, there was an empty classroom to the left and Sam dove in, narrowly missing a flurry of stinging hexes.

Sam then instinctively locked the door, and used his magic to stack desks in order to keep the Marauders out.

"Okay, Sam-Mule." Shouted James Potter, "Come out and we promise to make this quick!"

"Really you think that's going to get me to open this door? And I'll have you know that my name is pronounced, Sam-ual!"

"Whatever you git!" Yelled Sirius. "You've thrown in your hat with Snivellus, and now you're going to pay for it!"

Sam really didn't want to fight those idiots, but he knew it was coming. He just didn't know it was going to be this soon.

Sam looked out the window, sure enough, it was a long drop to the bottom.

Sam had little time to weigh his options as the Marauders forced their way inside.

James, Peter and one P.O'd Sirius were mad for vengeance. Sam stood his ground, with his wand at the ready.

"Ready for your punishment, Sam-Mule?"

"It's Sam-ual, Potter." Sam scoffed, "Seriously. I mean did your father drop you on your head when you little or something?"

If James wasn't angry before, he was now. All three Marauders had their wands out by now.

"Hex him boys!"

Sam readied himself and retaliated.

Severus and Lily were in the Library, waiting for their new acquaintance, Sam Yalarad.

Severus was sitting at a table reading a Potions Theory book, while Lily was pacing back and forth.

"Lily, with your pacing, you'd probably make a permanent impression on the floor, and Madam Pince wouldn't take that too kindly, now wouldn't she?" Severus without looking up from his book.

Lily looked over at Severus.

"I mean Lily, we just met him yesterday, and besides if he doesn't come it's not the end of the world. He probably is spending time with his other friends, y'know."

"Well," Lily started. "I'm just wondering if he hadn't incurred the wrath of the local nuisances."

Severus sighed, "I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I'm not so sure."

Just then the man of the hour came in.

"Speak of the devil." Severus put down his book. "Where have you been?"

"How did you do on your Herbology Exam?"

"Oh uh, first I was busy," Sam explained. "Secondly, I think I passed my O.W.L with ease!"

"Well that's great!"

"Busy with what?"

Sam smiled. "Well that's the second thing I wanted to talk to you about, in fact I think I should show you."

So, Sam had Severus and Lily follow him to the deserted classroom on the seventh floor.

What was inside shocked Severus and Lily.

James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were caught in the Sisto Motus Charm.

"...I don't know what to say." Severus choked out, he was too stunned to say anything.

"Well don't. I mean these guys came at me trying to hex me, so I was just trying to defend myself."

"Well let's leave them be, c'mon Severus." Lily said.

Sam turned around to see Severus and Lily leaving.

"HEY!"

Severus and Lily turned back around.

"Yes?" Severus asked.

Sam walked in front of them, blocking their way from the door.

"Haven't you guys been saying how, these three have made the past five years of your life here at Hogwarts miserable?"

"Yeah." Severus replied, realizing the fact.

"Well, now they are here! Right in front of you! Ready to be messed with and you are going to walk away?"

"Well, what would you have us do?" Lily asked Sam.

Sam gave a great, big, smile.

"Lily," directed Sam. "Go up to your room and get some make-up and some dresses that might fit these three!"

"What I don't understand, why do I need..." Lily understood what Sam was going with, and grinned. "Oh, Sam you are Bad! I'll be right back!"

Lily ran out to get the supplies.

Sam looked at Severus.

"What are we going to do?"

"Well Severus. We have the hard job. We need to get these three down to their skivvies."

Severus blanched. Undressing the Marauders wasn't on his list of things to do.

"Do we have to?"

"Well we could let Lily do it."

Severus looked at Sam in silence.

"I'll start with Black, you get Potter and we'll both do Pettigrew, is that Ok Samual?"

Sam smiled. "Perfect."

Severus slowly undid Sirius' pants as he looked away.

"Y'know."

Severus looked over to Sam.

"Friends call me Sam."

Severus looked over at Sam and smiled.

"Friends call me Sev."

Now it was Sam's turn to smile.

The two friends went back to their Dirty Job.

Lily had shrunk the Make-up and the dresses down and shoved them into her pocket.

She hurried up to the classroom. When she opened the door she saw Severus and Sam strip Pettigrew to his skivvies.

Severus blanched, and Sam was frozen.

"Lily this isn't what it looks like." Severus started to explain.

"What are you talking about Sev? This is exactly what it looks like." Sam replied.

Severus gave Sam the Stink Eye.

The three started their little makeover party for their Marauder 'friends'.

Lily looked at her dresses. "What do you think, Sev?"

Severus looked at her options.

"Green. Lily. Dress them all in green." Severus smiled.

"Perfect!" Lily transfigured all the dresses to be green. "Let the 'Golden' Gryffindor boys be Slytherins for today!"

Samual then turned toward Severus. "Be a pal and please pass me the lipstick."

"Red or Blue?" Severus asked.

Sam looked at Sirius caught in Sisto Motus.

"Definitely Red."

"Okay guys. Ready? One, two THREE!"

Sam, Severus and Lily groaned as they struggled to put a dress on Peter.

"Oughgh. What do they feed this guy?" Sam yelled.

"Everything and anything!" Severus replied.

Lily was taking the final incriminating picture with her camera.

"Okay, now let's see these buffoons try and mess with us." Lily exclaimed.

"I don't think this will stop them." Severus begrudgingly said.

"Maybe, but I have an idea, that will have them thinking twice before they mess with us." Sam said. "How long until Lunch?"

Lily looked at the clock. "About thirty minutes.'

"Okay we need to act fast."

James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew awoke all at once to see a group of their classmates laughing. At them.

"What, what? What happened?" Peter stuttered out.

"Sonovabitch! We were hexed by Sam-Mule!" James swore.

"I'm gonna wring his neck! I swear it!" Sirius proclaimed

James then noticed his classmates laughing.

"What's so funny?"

Frank Longbottom stopped laughing long enough to answer.

"Well Potter. We're laughing at you and your friend's choice in clothing! BWAHAHAH!"

"What are you..." James looked down at his attire. "DEAR MERLIN!" James then tried to cover himself.

Sirius and Peter then noticed their womanly attire and tried to cover themselves to no avail.

"Hey Potter!"

James looked up to see Samual, Severus, and Lily walk up.

"YOU!"

"Me. You'd better get changed Potter. Wouldn't want McGonagall to turn red with Fury to see you three dressed like that!"

James, Peter, and Sirius bolted to their dormitory.

"YOU'RE GOING TO YOURS YALARAD!" Sirius yelled as he was going towards the staircase.

"I'm shaking in my boots, Black!"

Sam turned to Lily and Severus. They were laughing. Everyone was laughing.

Payback was grand.

Next chapter is up, and if you wish to see the fanfiction in its current entirety click Here. 

Next Chapter.

Last Chapter

[teresaleenz]

30.01.17 - 05.02.17

NEW YORK

Glenn Denning - Glenn was an encyclopaedia of knowledge regarding sustainable development. He talked through how there were many sceptics who dismissed the MDGs either as they saw global goals as unrealistic or because they disregarded anything to do with the UN. However, they achieved quite a lot especially in terms of extreme poverty, malaria and HIV. The SDGs were an upgrade as they considered how the MDGs were too top down, did not address inequality or environmental issues and did not involve a lot of inclusive development as poorer countries were focussed on. Of course, the SDGs were criticised too and mainly for being seventeen of them. Glenn noted how this was a result of inclusive discussions and strong advocacy from groups. The increase from eight to seventeen was the price of cooperation and one would struggle to justify one of them being unimportant. On the positive side, there is now more direct responsibility for richer countries and the SDGs have captured the attention of a wider community of stakeholders. This is one of the pros of the UN - the UN is formed by governments but have the ability to mobilise non-governmental organisations, businesses, etc. The other issue Glenn deliberated was why people are hungry considering there is more than enough to go around. A few reasons include inaccessibility, increasing population, food security and wastage where not only food is wasted but the energy into making the food is blown. However, the most significant reason was that people’s diets are changing particularly in rapidly developing nations. For instance, China’s shift towards meat consumption means we need more animals, and hence, more grains to feed the animals so grains are taken out of the market. Policy instruments such as food stamps and vouchers need to be utilised. It is also time to demonise fast food and sugary drinks like tobacco has been. A side matter we discussed were GMOs and he pointed out that the populations’ unease at them is due to fear of the unknown and scientists are too geeky to make it look promising. If only the marketing department of Coke could help. University of Columbia - 100% would be one of the top results for a search on “university aesthetic tumblr”. Times Square - Overwhelming as expected... but not anymore than any of our own minds. NZ Permanent Mission to the UN - Most of the session was Q&A and we discussed how NZ were a large voice despite being quite small as we were committeed to the UN since the start, have no vested interest due to location so we are seen to be impartial, have a comparatively good human rights record, bravely called out what was happening in Rwanda during the genocide, have people in key position and we always taken a principled approach based on merits. NZ is a good person. School of Rock - Firstly, what a buzzing and epic show! Secondly, TALK ABOUT CHILD PRODIGYS??? WHAT THE??? Share some of that talent around, why don’t you.

9/11 Memorial and Museum - Despite this being my second visit to this museum, its effect was not diminished whatsoever. The museum presents a multitude of voices of those involved in the attack and does so in an authentic manner. Personally, I find this quote from James Gilroy to be the most memorable: “She had a business suit on, her hair was all askew… This woman stood there for what seemed like minutes, then she held her skirt and then stepped off the ledge…I thought, how human, how modest, told down her skirt before she jumped…I couldn’t look anymore.”  A melancholic reminder that we’re all human. Masterchef - Julia and I were on mains so we created the first thing that came to mind - nachos shaped in the head of the Statue of Liberty, of course. Our combination of blue corn chips, the smallest pinch of mince amongst a crowd of pinto beans, finger-licking good cream cheese and yummy guac deservedly won 1st place.

Youth Assembly Day 1 - All of us hustled in and were VERY excited to finally be at the Conference we had been buzzing about. Aaaand it was shit. Luckily, I do have a funny story to make up for it :) I wasn’t there but Michael was grabbed by a girl who said “You’re so cute, I’m bringing you back to Nigeria!” and of course, that served to be a good chuckle for all of us. That’s not even the good bit... The next day, Antoine complimented Michael on his tie and I told him to be careful or a Nigerian girl would snatch him away. A girl in front of us turned and looked at me with an unimpressed face and I assumed she thought I was being racist. The interaction then followed as such: “Oh, let me explain! Yesterday a Nigerian girl grabbed him and wanted to take him back with her.” “Yes, that was me.” “...Oh.” Funnily enough, she then tried to sass me: “You don’t recognise me but I recognise you.” My defense was easy enough: “Hun, I wasn’t even there.” WHOOPS UN Development Programme - In the middle of the day, we just had a casual meet up with Helen Clark, no biggie. She was COOL. Cool fact #1 from cool Aunty Helen: Syria will need 30 years to revert their GDP back to their previous GDP. Cool fact #2 from cool Aunty Helen: Turkey and Lebanon have hosted over a million refugees and have not complained. And cool fact #3 from cool Aunty Helen: Developed countries can help less developed countries beyond providing financial help by helping them to apply for financial help, such as with writing proposals.

Youth Assembly Day 2 - Again, no change. Again, shit. Youth Assembly Mexico Mission - Learning about Mexico’s activity with the UN was really insightful as it was something I knew nothing about. Our host, who I have annoyingly forgotten the name of, was such a gracious man. An interesting point he raised was that many discussions at the UN revolve around statistics in order to decide on indicators. He believed that the greatest threat against success of the SDGs is nationalism and this nationalism came from those who have been negatively affected by globalisation which is, unfortunately, fair enough. As expected, I also learnt plenty about Mexico! Mexico has the largest network of free trade agreements, was the first country to have law on climate change and all employed Mexicans have free healthcare! Metropolitan Museum of Art - The main attraction was The Costume Institute’s ‘Masterworks: Unpacking Fashion’ exhibit in the Anna Wintour Costume Centre. Just a tad better than my own wardrobe back home...

Visiting family - Going to New York on this trip meant I was able to see my grandma and visit her new place in Queens Boulevard. It was really touching because I could tell my visit was very precious to her and with a little luck, I’ll be back for YumCha with her again in a year or so :) 

Avenue Q - An absolute killerrr!!! Relatable, hilarious and such a good time! Not to be missed!!! I’m starting to sound like their marketing guy but seriously, it’s uproarious!!! Hahaha…go see it.

Flight to Auckland via Los Angeles and Sydney - 30 hours of flying resulted in quite the movie binge; I ended up watching Keeping Up With The Jonases, Focus, Anna Karenina, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Red Dog! Keeping Up With The Jonases didn’t have much on Keeping Up With The Kardashians but the rest are definitely recommended :)