#so please please let me know if you want to be added <3 a thousand hearts for you free shipping <3
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🧺 Any More 🧺
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024
Requested: spencer realizing that he’ll never love someone as much as he loves you. (whether that be because of a case or what have you), his mind is absolutely blown with how much he worships you and how much you love and care for him and he shows you that with the softest most sickeningly sweet sex you and him has ever done. <3
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Discussions of case details, case burnout, very close friends to lovers, oral (f receiving), vanilla sex (p in v penetration). Discussions of mental health, and two idiots in love.
A/N: I'm hitting the prompt Vanilla for this one, so please don't be scared off by the KinkBingo tags! I had a lot of fun writing this one (and adding Pride and Prejudice quotes into the smut scene because HELLO). Let me know what you think in the replies~♡
Masterlist || Bingo Board
You hadn't seen Spencer in 100 days. Which in the grand scheme of things wasn't that long, trapped in the purgatory of a ‘what if’ the way you had been for the last eight years.
You'd lived without him for longer than 100 days before. He'd been in prison, you'd been on assignments, you'd lived an entire life before meeting him, but now somehow 100 days was too much time, and you were exhausted. You understood why Spencer had to take some time away from you, from the team in an official capacity after everything he'd been through. You supported him even.
But when even your free time didn't overlap anymore, you wondered if your relationship would ever be the same again.
Spencer was a friend, your best friend, probably. You'd arrived on the BAU team, he'd rattled off some statistics, stammering the way through them, and you'd immediately warmed to the man. He was brilliant, funny, and fiercely loyal, and you tried your best to protect him even when the job seemed designed to break people like him into thousands of little pieces.
You'd tried to convince him to leave before, after Maeve had died. You didn't want to see him heart broken again, but no one else had seemed to agree.
“Reid needs purpose,” they'd said. “Reid needs something to do.”
What Reid needed was to not end up dead before he had a chance to be happy, and happiness didn't come often in your field of work.
You'd been almost vindicated a year later when he'd been shot again, almost fatally. Vindicated, maybe but distraught and inconsolable. Morgan had to carry you screaming and clawing out of his hospital room multiple times. It sounded stupid enough to yourself that it was only then you realized your feelings for the man.
You wanted to be Spencer Reid's happiness, which was why you were so lost without him.
He was coming back on Monday, and at least you had the weekend to sort your feelings out about everything.not just about him, but about the job you'd found didn't fit you well enough anymore, about the team you loved like family, about the relationship you knew would likely never come to fruition.
You dumped your bags at your door when you'd arrived in your house that night, pushed yourself into your bedroom and let yourself collapse on your bed, balling up into as cozy a position as you could. You didn't even bother taking your jacket off, you just let your brain haze over and sleep rush in.
Three quiet raps at your door lifted you up and out of bed again, not an hour later.
You grabbed your phone, grabbed the second go-bag you kept at your house, put your shoes back on, and opened the door, expecting Emily and a new case.
“Where are we going?” You said, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, not even looking up at your guest.
“Hopefully, nowhere? I brought takeout.”
Your eyes widened then, taking in all 185cm of Doctor Spencer Reid, tweed jacket and plastic bag full of chow mein included.
“Spencer,” you breathed out, like a sigh of relief, letting the bag drop to the floor next to the first one and letting yourself into his arms.
He held you carefully there for a second before leading you back into the apartment, wrapping an arm around you and ruffling your hair. It was brotherly, and it made you sick to your stomach.
“What are you doing here?”
“Emily said you were back from a case,” he started, unpacking the takeaway from the containers. “And it feels wrong to eat this without you.”
You rolled your eyes and followed him into the kitchen, pulling two forks out of the drawer nearer you and stabbing them in the top of your two cups.
“Hey, I can use chopsticks now,” he said, defending himself against an inside joke. Spencer was always useless with his hands.
“I don't care if you can use them, I care that they don't accidentally end up stabbing me,” you said, taking yourself back to your bedroom, Spencer following.
“You'd hardly die from being stabbed by a wooden chopstick, maybe a papercut or a splinter but-”
“But you're just bad enough that I don't want to risk it.”
You kicked off your shoes again and climbed onto your bed. Spencer followed.
“Remind me again why we aren't sitting on your couch?”
“Uncomfortable.”
“Or at your breakfast bar?”
“Glorified filing cabinet right now. Eat.”
He shook his head but complied, leaning back against your pillows as you both began carefully eating. Silently, you pulled your laptop onto your bed, opened it up, and pressed play on a movie, one you'd seen more than once, and you'd forced Spencer to watch before as well.
In a comfortable, friendly silence, you finished your food. You stretched out in a yawn once and then curled into his side, letting his mumbling voice, repeating the movie lines as they were spoken, lull you softly into sleep.
Spencer knew he had to leave, but he couldn't bring himself to wake you. The movie had finished hours ago, he'd closed the laptop and turned off the bug lights, but he couldn't leave.
Unlike you, he hadn't counted the days that you'd been apart. He hadn't needed to. He knew you'd be waiting there for him when he returned, knew you'd give him a smile and a pat on the back, and immediately start bouncing ideas off of him. It was what he loved about you.
As he laid next to you in your bed, a place he'd absolutely been before, his heart thumped. Just once, but hard.
Even in sleep, you looked exhausted. Your shirt was crumpled, hair a mess, you were still wearing makeup, and he knew he'd probably get an earful for letting you sleep like that in the morning. You were a mess, and he still wanted you.
The thought came to him suddenly, another painful thump of his chest echoing in his mind. He rubbed absent mindedly at his chest as if experiencing heartburn. In the dim light of the room, he let his head drop to the pillow and wrapped two shaky arms around you and pulled you in closer.��
The two of you were a picture - both in suits, both with badges still somewhere on your person, both dearly clinging to the person they feared losing the most.
When you woke the next morning, it was actually the afternoon.
“Spencer,” you groaned, melting under the heat of his embrace. Somehow, during the night, he'd rolled on top of you, pressing you into the bed with a delightful pressure, head nuzzled into your neck, arms tucked around your waist.
“Spencer, we should get up,” you said again, forcing your eyelids apart as your mascara tried to glue them together.
“Mmmmhh,” he groaned, moving to pick himself up off you for a minute but lowering himself again. If asked, he'd blame your hand in his hair, stroking the rogue curls gently, as if he were a prized pet and you their carer.
“Spencer, its 2pm.”
“On a Saturday.” You laughed at how pouty his voice sounded, but he complied and rolled off of you slightly, arms still wrapped around you.
“Come on. Get up. I've got some clothes that might fit you, let's get you out of the tweed.”
He huffed but nodded and lifted himself halfway to upright, eyes still closed lazily as he let in the light millimetre by millimetre.
“God, my face feels horrible,” you said, itching at your nose. “How did we even sleep so long like this? My belt is still on, Spencer, my belt.”
“If you were still wearing a weapon, then I'd be worried,” he smiled.
You shot him a sarcastic look and finally detangled yourself, only to clasp his hands and pull him forward as well, letting him trail you to your closet.
“Here, change in the bathroom,” he nodded and walked away, following directions with eyes still closed, as if it were really his apartment and not your own.
100 days without him, and it was as if it had only been 100 hours. Your entire body chemistry changed when he was around, the stick holding your spine rigidly in place, dissolving into calm, into a smile and a free giggle. It felt right again, and you almost forgot you'd ever felt wrong.
After briefly changing, you swapped place with Spencer, who'd exited the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and wet hair.
“Dry it for me?” He asked, sitting on your couch, and you nodded your ascent. A shower and a quick change later, and you were doing just that.
As much as he tried to keep his head upright, it kept lolling onto your thigh, yawns stretching out of him as he nuzzled closer to you.
“Spencer, you're like a big kid, keep your head up.”
“I'm not a kid,” he laughed, hooking his arms behind your knees and nuzzling closer into your soft sweats. “I'm just tired.”
“You're right. A child would probably be better behaved.”
“Our child would be,” he sighed, but you'd already turned the hairdryer back on, drowning out everything. Everything but that thump again. A child, he was thinking about children, and more importantly, he was thinking about your children. With him.
He'd always imagined himself with a family, knowing it would ultimately stay in his imagination. But for a second, his visions changed. It wasn't just a child or two. It was you. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
He only released the image when you finally pushed his head off of you and stood, turning away from him to get a glass of water from your kitchen.
“So, any plans today? Books to read, papers to mark, undergrads to run away screaming from?” You let the ice water cool your hot cheeks, but kept your back to him. You were hot, embarrassed, and you were looking at him in a sickeningly sweet way that could only be described as love struck or struck dumb.
“No, no, I finished all my obligations at the college yesterday,” he said, following behind you and picking up your cup when you set it down, taking a sip himself.
“I was… I was actually hoping we could spend some time together? Unless you had plans, which is totally fine-”
“No, Spencer, yeah, I have no plans, that's…. Well I have to do laundry, which is a bit boring but, no. No plans.”
“Laundry?”
“Two week case in Florida, I don't know how you didn't smell me yesterday, Spencer. I'd be running for the hills.”
He laughed and stepped away again, grabbing the two go bags by the door and coming back into your space.
“How about we get this done now so we can spend the day in a Who-Trek marathon?”
“Make that a Who-Greys Anatomy Marathon, and you have yourself a deal.”
He pouted again, and you snorted at the sight, taking another sip of water to calm yourself before you could react safely to that face.
“Come on, you know you've been dying to know what happens next at the Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital.”
“I thought it was called the Seattle Grace Mercy?”
“Oh we better get to that laundry now. You have a lot to catch up on.”
Grabbing a bag in one hand and his free hand in your other, you made your way down to your building's laundry room. But despite the man by your side and the relaxing day threatening to stretch ahead of you, a gloom caught you in the corridors.
You'd worked for two weeks, practically solid. You'd killed a man two days ago, or at least someone on your team had multiple shots having been fired. Another day on your job, another unsub felled, and everyone else was content with this just being a part of the job description.
It felt like each step towards the laundry room, each thing you did that was normal, that was regular, threw back in your face the pain you endured to save lives.
The bag in your hand weighed you down, pulling you lower and lower by the second.
You reached the laundry room, and you found the weight almost unbearable, stopping just before you could step in. You didn't have to think about what came next though, because suddenly the bag was out of your hands and Spencer was sorting your laundry for you.
“It's a Saturday, so your neighbour's won't complain if we separate the darks and lights into two machines, will they?” He asked, not looking up at you as he worked pouring out the fabric softener and the detergent. “Y/N?”
You hadn't noticed the lightness in your body until the tears hit your cheeks, the weight gone with his support.
“Y/N, what is it? What's wrong?” He said, hands cupping your face, because of course he was immediately at your side.
“I-I can't do it, Spencer…” your voice shook, pitching upwards, your vision blurring with tears.
“Can't do what, Y/N? Talk to me please, let me help?”
“I can't do laundry!” You said, finally bursting into a full fit of tears and burying your head in his waiting chest.
“L-Laundry?” He said, trying not to laugh, but the smile slipping out anyway now you were holding him.
You only sobbed again, nodding into his shirt, aware you were probably leaving snot all over it but not being able to care. It was your shirt anyway. You would just have to add it back to your laundry pile.
The thought set you off on another wave of sobs, and Spencer set about comforting you again. Keeping an arm wrapped around you, he put his quarters into the machines and set them off before quickly ushering you back up the stairs into your apartment.
“Y/N? Y/N, please talk to me,” he begged, smoothing your hair out of your eyes as you tried to gather yourself.
“I don't…. I can't….” You took a breath again, aware of the way your breathing hitched in your chest as you did.
“I don't think I can do this anymore,” you said, and his eyes widened quickly.
“This? Y/N, if you mean this as in us, then I can't-”
“This job,” you clarified, hands digging into the soft flesh of his arms further as he held you, finally sitting back on your couch.
“The job. Okay, the job. That's okay. We all feel like this at some point.”
You sniffed again and refused to meet his eyes.
“But this isn't like the other times this - It's like my whole b-body is protesting, and I can't sleep, and if I don't, then I might get sloppy and an unsub could-”
“Y/N, focus on my voice. You're spiralling. Listen to my voice, let's take some breaths, and think about this for a second.”
He guided you through some breathing, a hand on your back tapping out beats even as his voice grew quiet.
When you finally relaxed, you were sat on top of him, his hand rubbing circles into your back.
“I think it started when you left,” you whispered. “When you went to Mexico, and then, you know,” you've voice thickened, and you couldn't get the words out.
“And then these last 100 days they've just been…difficult.”
“100…difficult,” he echoed, almost breathless as he listened to you.
“It's like I can't do it without you. I never had to try to do it without you, and now I get what people say when they say this job is shitty, because it is when your best friend isn't there.”
You gave him a weak smile and wiped away your tears, trying to climb from his lap. But his firm arms held you still, and you didn't really want out anyways.
“When I get home, everything is different, and I can't make myself do anything. If you weren't here, I wouldn't have done that laundry. I'd let it sit and avoid it for weeks. Do you understand?”
“Y/N, lots of people feel depressed sometimes-”
“It's not - Spencer, I don't think this is something I can medicate my way out of. I don't know what to do because I can't do my job without you, and I can't be happy doing my job, and if I leave my job I'll be without you and then-”
Your voice cracked again.
“And then I still won't be happy.” The words were barely a whisper, but they were a plea, too. You weren't sure what for.
“You can't be happy without me?” He asked, but it was more a statement than anything else. Spencer felt horrible in that moment as his chest rattled, gleeful that he was your happiness.
“I love you,” he said, outloud finally after eight years.
“I love you, too, Spencer, but-”
“No, Y/N. Listen to me. I. Love. You.” The thumping of his heart set the tempo for the choir that was his senses to begin singing, as he finally leaned forward and kissed you.
“I love you, and I don't care if you're working at the BAU or if you're avoiding laundry at home. I, god, you're amazing and wonderful, and you're a human being, and you've our yourself under so much pressure for the last decade to keep me alive, to keep all of us alive really and….”
He took another breath, leaning into kiss you one more time.
“And you deserve a break.”
“W-When we take breaks, people die.”
“Did anyone die when I was teaching for the last three months? When JJ went on maternity leave?”
You shook your head, but your brain was still a mess.
“You all had reasons, I-”
“You have reasons, too. Y/N…. Y/N, let me be your reason.”
For a moment or two, Spencer truly thought you were going to say no. He thought you would get up and walk away, or better yet, ask him to leave and never come back.
So when you pressed your lips to his, he was sure that this was a dream.
But to you, it was salvation. Spencer Reid's love was the lifeline you'd been thrown, and it was buoyant enough to make you start floating.
His hands kneaded the flesh at your hips as he pulled you closer still to him, his tongue slipping into your mouth to explore every part of you there.
“Y/N… love…you,” he mumbled with each spare breath he caught, and you only detangled your lips to hear him say it again as he pressed similarly heated kisses against every inch of your exposed skin.
When Spencer's mind lost its ability to create original speech, he leant back on a lifetime of information, of learning love through books and people and marathons with you.
“I know that all I know right now is that I love you. And I know that I always will,” he whispered, lifting you and carrying you back to the bed you'd only crawled from an hour hence.
A hand slid under your shirt, and slowly pushed it over your head, letting it slowly drop to the floor as he held you tenderly.
“To me, you are perfect.”
His mouth found one nipple, and he gently kissed, then suckled at it, hands softly caressing your stomach, feeling along every ridge of you as you writhed under him.
“Of all the FBI Units, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”
“Spencer,” you said, voice still thick with tears, but these ones more tender, more joyful.
His hand eased your sweats over your ass and off, his hips settling between your legs as if he found the place he was made to lie forever.
“The truth of it is, I’ve loved you from the first second I met you.”
His mouth trailed lower until his tongue hit your clit, brushing against it languidly, as if it was his deepest desire to taste you and nothing else ever again.
His tongue flattened and flicked and pushed inside of you as you replayed his words again and again and again. You found yourself repeating them with him.
“I love you,” you echoed as he pushed a finger inside of you.
“I.. love you,” you gasped as he added another.
“I love you,” you screamed as your back arched up off the bed, finding your pleasure in his tongue, just ad you'd found love in his words.
“You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love….” He freed his cock from his pants, and took it in hand.
“I love…” With another kiss, he pressed the tip of it against you, asking for permission silently as you nodded your head.
“I love you.” He pushed in slowly, but it wouldn't matter how he did it because now you knew how he felt, and you didn't want to return to a time of not knowing.
Hooking your legs around him, Spencer dropped his forehead to yours and looked you directly in the eyes as he began moving. In and out, he thrust, mouth open in a moan of pleasure, likely mirroring your own.
The poetry, the movie lines, they were gone now, and Spencer was left with nothing but you, and love, and love for you.
“Spencer,” you moaned out, and he felt his chest swell. Pride. His name on your tongue, his body pressed to yours, claiming you as his ad you claimed him as yours.
He came with a shudder and you were not far behind, his undoing sending a shiver up your spine as his fingers grazed your clit again.
You sat panting for a minute, still attached, still forehead to forehead.
You weren't sure if it was him who giggled first or if it was you, but you were glad it was one of you.
You spent the rest of the night, the rest of the weekend, wrapped in his warmth, dressed in his love, taking each day a step at a time as you basked in his adoration.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#mgg#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid fandom#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#x reader#cmkinkbingo2024
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Heyyyy, Idk if you were planning on it or not but could you do a part 2 of the seven minutes in heaven thing you wrote about Felix?
⋆˚࿔ seven minutes in heaven 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ (pt. 2)
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
lee felix x fem!reader
wc: 2.5k
warnings: MDNI! 18+, smut, first date, piv, unprotected sex (whats protection atp), rough sex, a lot of overstim (literally 3 times in a row.), oral (f. rec), rip reader, she won't be able to move for days, (lmk if i missed any)
a/n: thank you guys for liking it!! and thank you @jadienoop for suggesting it in my inbox <3 sorry if it was later than you wanted it to be *sniff sniff*, i didn't expect people to actually want one...
anyways guys im getting a little dry on suggestions, so please feel free to leave some for me! idc if you spam-suggest me with things i would actually prefer that a lot
I HOPE YOU ENJOY, i have a taglist if u want to be added!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
"So, where are you taking me on our date, Lixie?" You teased as the two of you made your way through the streets.
He gave you a sweet smile and shook his head. "It's a secret."
"Come on, give me a hint," you pleaded, pouting.
"Nope," he said, popping the 'p'.
"Ugh, you're no fun," you grumbled, playfully hitting his arm.
He chuckled and continued leading you through the streets, his hand clasped around yours.
After a few more minutes of walking, he stopped in front of a small restaurant.
"We're here," he announced, a smile on his face.
You looked at him shocked, "I didn't know you meant now, I'm not even prepared properly... my makeup," you pouted, looking up at him.
"You're beautiful, and it's just dinner." He said with a fond smile, squeezing your hand gently.
You couldn't help but smile, his compliment making your heart flutter.
"Now come on, let's go," he said, leading you inside.
The restaurant was small and cozy, with dim lighting and soft music playing in the background. There were only a few other couples there, and the atmosphere was romantic.
You were surprised that Felix had brought you here. It isn't something you'd expect for a first date.
Felix led you to a table and pulled out your chair, helping you sit down. You couldn't help but smile at his gentlemanly behavior.
"You know, this feels weird." You admitted, giving him a shy smile.
"Why?"
"I'm not sure. I've hung out with you thousands of times, and now we're doing it again... but it's different."
"Different how?" He asked, looking at you curiously.
"Like, we're on a date. And I don't know how to act." You admitted.
He laughed softly and reached over, taking your hand in his.
"You don't have to act any differently. We're just hanging out, like always."
"But we're on a date, you were my best friend a few hours ago," you repeated.
"Yeah, but I've never called you my girlfriend, have I?" He asked, his voice soft.
You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks and your stomach fluttered at his words.
Girlfriend.
You were his girlfriend now, he was yours, and you were his.
"You're my boyfriend," you tested the words, your voice in a whisper, almost like a realization.
He blushed, and he had the most adorable smile on his face.
"Yes," he whispered, his eyes sparkling with happiness.
"You're mine," you murmured, still not believing it.
"I'm yours," he repeated, his voice full of affection.
You couldn't deny how those words made you feel. It felt like your heart was about to burst, and the heat all over your body was almost unbearable.
"This... is surreal." You breathed out, your eyes scanning his face.
"Good surreal, or bad surreal?" He asked, concern lacing his voice.
"Good. Really, really good," you said, smiling.
"Okay, good. Now let's order, I'm starving." He said, a playful smirk on his lips.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
As the two of you walked out of the restaurant, you couldn't help but admire the way the moonlight reflected off of his blond hair.
"Thanks for the late dinner," you said, smiling up at him.
"Anything for my girlfriend," he teased, wrapping an arm around your waist.
"Stop," you laughed, nudging him, the words undeniably exciting you.
He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, making your heart skip a beat.
"Ready to go home?" He asked, his tone soft.
As the two of you made your way down the street, Felix's hand found yours, his fingers lacing with yours.
"Hey," he said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
"Hey," you replied, a smile tugging at your lips.
"We're here." He said, stopping in front of his house.
His house was a familiar place to you, where you'd spent so much time.
But now you were going to his house together, alone, as a couple. Wild thoughts couldn't help but run through your head.
As you entered his house, your heart raced, and you slipped off your shoes. A mix of nerves, excitement, and anticipation coursed through you.
"So... what now?" You asked, glancing at him.
"Let's watch a movie or something," he said with a smile.
"But-" you started, catching your breath in your throat.
"Hmm?"
"Can't we... y'know..."
"Do what?" He asked, his brows furrowing.
"Well, you spoiled me, so you have to do the other part now." You said, referring to what you said at the party earlier.
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"You know," you smirked, trailing your hand down his chest. "You said you were going to spoil me and then fuck me. So, do it."
"Mm, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" You pouted, disappointment washing over you.
"Because," he said, his voice low, "If I do that now, you might not be able to walk tomorrow."
"Fuck," you breathed out, your heart racing.
"So, a movie then?"
You grabbed his hand, leading him to his bedroom.
"No movie." You said, backing up onto his bed as your hands reached to the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head.
"Wait..." he said, his eyes flickering rapidly from your face to your breasts.
"What? I said you were going to spoil me and fuck me, and that's exactly what I want."
He let out a shaky breath and nodded.
"Take off your pants," he commanded.
You obliged, slowly sliding your pants down your legs, revealing your matching underwear.
"Fuck," he cursed under his breath.
He stepped closer and trailed his hands down your body, his fingers brushing over the lace of your bra.
His hands moved lower, resting on the waistband of your panties.
"I can't wait to see all of you," he said, his voice thick with lust.
"Then why don't you?" You asked, your voice shaky.
He leaned down and pressed a hot kiss to your neck, making you gasp.
"Fuck, Lix," you moaned, your head falling back.
His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking, leaving marks.
His hands reached behind you, unhooking your bra.
Your breasts spilled out, your nipples hardening from the cool air.
"You're so pretty," he murmured, his eyes admiring every single part of you.
He took one nipple in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud.
"Oh my god," you gasped, arching your back.
His hands roamed over your body, feeling every curve.
He moved lower, trailing his tongue down your stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses.
He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs.
You were completely bare before him, and he couldn't take his eyes off of you.
"You're perfect," he said, his eyes filled with awe. His hot breath ghosted over your inner thigh.
He spread your legs open, revealing your glistening pussy.
He looked like he was in a trance by you, taking his time biting and licking your inner thighs.
You were aching, desperate for his touch, his fingers, his tongue, his cock.
You moaned his name, your fingers tangling in his hair.
"Please, Felix," you begged.
He chuckled against your inner thigh, "please what?" He murmured.
"I need you," you said, your voice shaking.
"Please, boyfriend."
The word 'boyfriend' sent shivers down his spine and his cock twitched.
He positioned his head between your thighs, his face right in front of your aching cunt.
You felt his warm breath against your pussy and it made you tremble, the heat almost unbearable.
You arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him.
He trailed a finger down your slit, parting your folds.
He dipped his tongue inside you, lapping up your wetness.
You cried out, your grip on his hair tightening.
"Lix!" You gasped. "Please, Lix," you begged, your voice trembling.
He circled his tongue around your clit, before flicking it, the sensation almost enough to make you come undone.
His hands gripped your thighs as he lapped and sucked, your pleasure building, and building.
The knot in your stomach tightening.
The pleasure was too much. It was so much, yet it wasn't enough. You wanted more, you needed more.
Your foot trailed down to the bulge in his jeans, pressing against the hardness.
Felix moaned into your cunt, sending vibrations throughout your body.
"Please, please use this," you pleaded, almost whimpering.
He chuckled softly against you, pulling away with a lewd sound, his eyes locked on yours.
He stood, towering over you and began unbuckling his pants. You felt your core heating, throbbing for him to touch you.
His eyes locked on yours and his pants dropped to the floor.
Felix pulled down his boxers and you felt a shiver run up your spine at the sight of him. His cock was hard and throbbing, the tip glistening with pre-cum.
Felix let out a shaky breath and lowered himself on top of you.
His hardness rubbed against your core, and you couldn't help but let out a gasp.
His eyes locked onto yours. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he murmured, his voice thick with lust.
You nodded. "Don't stop." You said, your voice shaky.
His hand reached up, his fingers trailing along your lips.
"Can I?"
You nodded, unable to speak.
Felix smiled, and guided his hardness to your entrance, his tip slowly stretching your walls.
The pleasure was unlike anything you had felt before. It was like every nerve was on fire, your entire body burning with pleasure.
Felix let out a shaky breath as he pushed further in. Your walls stretched around his girth and your pleasure grew with each inch.
"Fuck," he murmured, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
The sensation was almost too much for you to take. You were so full, your walls pulsating around his length.
"God, you feel so fucking good," he groaned.
You arched your back as he began thrusting in and out of you, each thrust sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.
Your walls tightened around his length, and your nails dug into his back as he pounded into you.
Felix's hands found yours and laced them with yours. He kissed you as his hips thrusted against your own.
He kissed down your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine.
You gasped, your walls clenching around his length. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge, your climax building with each thrust.
"Oh my god," you gasped, your toes curling.
"If you cum now, I won't stop," he warned, his hips snapping into yours.
His cock pressed against your g-spot with each thrust, the pressure almost too much.
"I don't care," you gasped. "Please don't stop."
He looked at you as if you were going to regret saying that later, his cock buried deep in you.
Felix pulled back until he was nearly completely out, then slammed his length inside you, his hips snapping against yours.
You moaned loudly, the pleasure almost too much. Your walls clenching around his length as he slammed into you, each thrust sending you closer and closer to your climax.
The sensation of his cock stretching you, and his tip rubbing against your sensitive bud was too much for you. You cried out as your orgasm ripped through you, your walls tightening around his length, milking every inch.
The sensation was overwhelming, your toes curling as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you, the orgasm hitting you in ways you didn't think was possible.
You writhed and arched your back as Felix continued thrusting into you, each thrust sending you into another state of ecstasy.
You cried out his name in helpless pleas, your nails trailing down his back.
Your walls continued pulsating around his length, squeezing it with every thrust.
The sensation was too much. The pleasure was so intense, you thought you were going to pass out.
Felix's hips continued snapping against yours, each thrust sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.
You felt your walls clenching around him and another wave of pleasure crashed over you, your body shuddering with ecstasy.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your mouth opened in a silent cry.
Your legs trembled around him as your second orgasm ripped through you. You writhed against him as your body spasmed from the overstimulation, the pleasure too intense.
Your nails dug into his back as he continued thrusting into you. His eyes locked onto yours, his thrusts becoming harder and faster.
His hand reached between the two of you, his thumb rubbing circles over your sensitive clit.
"No... no, it's too much!" You gasped, tears running down your face as your body shuddered against him. You didn't know how many times he had made you come, but your body couldn't take much more.
"I know, baby," he cooed. "Just once more, okay?"
You nodded, your body trembling from the pleasure. Your walls fluttered around his length, tightening around him.
Felix's thrusts became rougher as he felt your walls tightening around his length, bringing you to the edge of ecstasy once more.
You cried out in pleasure, your back arching off the bed as the pressure built, his cock slamming into you.
You were so close, so, so close. The pleasure was too much for you to bear, it felt like you were going to pass out from the intensity.
Your legs trembled, your toes curling as his thumb rubbed circles on your clit.
"You can do it," Felix urged you, his voice thick with lust.
That's all it took. His words pushed you over the edge, the pressure bursting and your walls tightening around his length, pulsating.
Your vision went white, and your body trembled with ecstasy, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave.
Felix let out a shaky breath, his body shuddering as he released into you, his cum filling you.
He continued thrusting into you as you came down from your high, your body shuddering with aftershocks.
Lying on the bed, completely spent, you felt every muscle in your body ache with satisfaction. Tremors wracked your body, making it difficult to draw in a steady breath.
He devoured you, you felt like all of the energy was just sucked out of you.
He kissed your forehead as he pulled out, his seed spilling out of you, and down your thighs.
He pulled you in close, wrapping his arms around you, "you okay?" he murmured against your skin, kissing you lightly.
You nodded, your body exhausted, you couldn't speak.
He held you in his arms, gently stroking your hair. "You did so well for me," he whispered, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.
As you drifted into slumber, he tenderly pulled the covers over both of you, enveloping you in warmth. His arms encircled you, his chest radiating comforting heat against your back.
He pulled you close, his chest rising and falling with each breath.
His arms around you felt comforting and safe, his heartbeat steady. A sense of love and contentment enveloped you, filling your heart with warmth and peace.
Felix ran a hand over your back, his fingertips tracing light patterns on your skin.
"I love you," he murmured, his warm breath tickling your neck as he held you close.
You hummed quietly in response, your eyes fluttering shut, exhaustion hitting you in waves.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
taglist for my babies: @loverbangchan, @reignessance, @imperfectlyperfectprincess1
#stray kids x reader#skz#stray kids#skz smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids felix#straykids#skz felix#skz imagines#skz x reader#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#lee felix#felix lee#felix smut#felix x reader#felix#stray kids smut
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The Book Seller - Azriel x F!OC (Part 1/3)
Summary: Azriel meets his mate at long last, thanks to Nesta’s reading habits.
Content Warnings: None
Part 2, Part 3
The package arrived just before closing on a Saturday, hours after one of my favorite customers, The High Lady’s sister, had been in to check on it. Three books I’d recommended to her, an ancient romance between warrior and queen.
She had been waiting for weeks for these to arrive, and now she’d have to wait two more days. I sighed, thinking of the excitement that shone in Nesta’s eyes when she’d entered my bookshop earlier that day, and set them under the desk to wait safely for her.
The bell dinged and I looked up to see a tall blonde dressed in red. Her face looked familiar, but I’d never seen her before, I thought.
“Hello!” she greeted.
“Good evening,” I nodded with a smile.
Instead of browsing, she approached my desk. “Nesta sent me to check on her books. I’m Mor.”
My jaw fell a little slack at that. Of course, this was the Morrigan. As stunning as ever, dressed in her signature red, with her blonde locks side swept. “Of course! I have them, they just arrived.”
“She’ll be thrilled, she talks about them non-stop. Not to me but, you know,” she said with a wink, and all I could do was smile, because I did not know. Did Mor not like Nesta?
“She actually asked me to bring you to the house if they were ready,” Mor said, and I blanched.
“What?”
“Asked for a personal delivery! Of course, you don’t have to. But, you could join us for dinner, if you want.”
Us. Did she mean, the High Lord and Lady? Their inner circle? The handsome warriors, Feyre’s sisters, everyone? The thought had my normally tan cheeks turning pale.
I ran my hands over my pale green dress. It was very simple, something for work, flattering but unthreatening.
Morrigan smiled at me in a disarming way. “Yes, please come! It’s so fun to have guests. Dinners are very informal.”
I glanced once over at her beautiful gown, and looked at her skeptically. She laughs, a beautiful, melodic sound.
“I promise. Please, join us.”
“Oh, sure,” I replied a little shakily, and grabbed Nesta’s books, carefully packaged under my desk in brown paper tied with twine. “Let me just close up.”
I stepped around my wide wooden desk and entered into the bowels of my store. Thousands of books surrounded us, on tall, dark shelves in front of walls painted a dark emerald green. Plants sat atop the bookshelves and between sections by genre, adding an earthy scent and feel to the space. Though books were my first love, plants and flowers were not far behind.
I went through the steps I went through every day to shut down the store, speeding a little and telling myself that tomorrow was my off day, and I could come fix any mistakes I made in my haste.
Once everything was prepared, I rejoined the High Lord’s cousin at the front door, and she beamed at me as if we had been friends for years.
“I’ll winnow us up!” she said cheerily, and extended a hand to me. My shaky palm found hers, and she winked before we disappeared.
—
The home was even more beautiful than I could have imagined. Set into gorgeous red rock, we landed on a sprawling landing, with intricate flooring and a beautiful view of our beloved city below.
“Wow,” I said with a sigh, looking down at where we came from moments ago.
Mor, surely used to such a breath taking view, waved me on towards the large archways that led into a very formal looking dining room. Tall ceilings. Stone and marble everywhere. It was truly stunning.
I glanced down again at my appearance, and shuddered. I hadn’t even thought to freshen my face or tie my unruly curls back into a braid or bun. I surely fit in more with the serving staff than those I would be dining with.
My heart thundered in my chest as I followed the blonde into the elegant dining room. A few people were present already, and I breathed a sigh of relief to see Nesta next to the table, standing and talking with her mate, Cassian. I had met him once or twice, when he stopped to pick something up for Nesta.
They turned to see Mor, and Nesta’s normal scowl turned to an almost smile when she saw me, package in hand.
“Holly!” she said warmly, walking to close the gap and meet me. “Thank you for making a home delivery for me.”
I extended the package to her, and she noticed the shake still present in my hands. As she took the books, her hands lingered over mine for a moment, and she leaned close.
“Don’t let this group intimidate you. They are informal, and you’re my special guest.”
Cassian joined her side and smiled down wide and warm as she stepped back with her books.
“Nesta must be your favorite customer, for you to come all this way,” he said, a teasing glint in his eye.
I smiles back at him, glad for Cassian’s natural talent to put anyone at ease.
“She is, actually. We share a taste in books, and hardly anyone else takes my recommendations so readily as your mate,” I replied, and Nesta gave me another small smile.
Footsteps alerted us to more joining, and my nerves became alight again as I looked to the eastern entrance and saw three figures entering.
I was at a loss for what to do when I saw my High Lord and Lady enter, trailed behind by the infamous shadowsinger.
Though I knew this group is a part of their people, frequenting our town and shops and night life, they were still our leaders - still something else, above us, and my spine stiffened, even though the entered with wide smiles and relaxed shoulders.
As they approached, I bowed, and Cassian laughed.
“No need,” said the High Lord in a deep, silky tone. “Nesta speaks of you, well, more than she speaks of almost anyone.”
I looked up to meet his deep blue gaze to see warmth and welcome there. At his side stood Nesta’s sister, their son in her arms. 
“Thank you for joining us,” Feyre said warmly, and the baby, nearing toddler, nuzzled his head into his mother’s shoulder.
They looked resplendent, the two of them together, and I was again at a loss for words. We owed so much to the people in these room, and I felt unworthy of being here.
“It’s truly my honor. I… thank you both,” I said, hoping they read the meaning in my eyes.
The baby, jet black hair like his father and a regal nose like his mother, lunged for me then, nearly leaping from his mother’s arms. She gasped, and I scooped him up on instinct, after years of being an aunt to my sibling’s children.
“Oh hello!” I cooed, and he put a chubby hand on my cheek, staring into my eyes.
Nesta laughed. “Well, Nyx likes her.”
I turned to Rhysand and from behind him, the Shadowsinger stepped around, joining our small circle.
I was over come with how utterly breathtaking he was. Tall and slender, though his black shirt and pants revealed the taught muscles beneath. His golden eyes were shining as he stared at the babe in my arms, and I could look nowhere but at his beautiful, golden-brown face.
His eyes rose from the child to meet mine, and I felt it then.
A thread. A tug. From his chest to mine. A calling - like to like.
Mate to mate.
His mouth fell open, a breath escaping, and I clutched the baby to me to stop from dropping him.
“Mate,” Azriel whispered, and everyone around us fell silent.
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Swipe (Lucifer morningstar x reader)
Description: after his divorce, he finally gets back into the dating game…through a dating app :)
Please note I’m writing this before the release of ep7 and ep8 so-
Takes place between ep 5 and right before ep 6
I wrote nearly 98% of this at like 3 AM-
Part 1 of 3
Warning: Lucifer being a dork, Lucifer being a dorky dad, age gap(reader died at like 25 and Lucifer is like a good few thousands years old so), talk of divorce, Charlie being a supportive daughter, I’ve never used a dating apps so i might get info wrong, Lucifer doesn’t know modern day technology or slang, lying, Lucifer straight up cat fishing reader,
No one’s POV
Lucifer was a wreck after his divorce with Lilith. Becoming the shell of the man he was, going from a family-oriented to a man who barely talk to anyone. After visiting his daughter and her hotel, he knew he had to be there, he already missed so much he wasn’t gonna miss another second of it. Becoming the best father he could also meant moving on, it’s been seven years since the separation. Charlie knew her Dad had been in pain since the divorce but she could tell, he was trying and she was going to be there.
Lucifer’s POV
“Charlie, are you sure about this?” I ask still hesitant, I knew Charlie just wanted to help and had the best intentions, but a dating app? “Of course!” Charlie exclaimed, face lite up. “It’s perfect! You get to meet people without the face to face interactions!” Charlie said downloading the app, viva by Voxtech.
Charlie’s was more excited than I was, I wanted to meet people but an app? I can’t help but feel my heart race and my body get heavy, why was I this nervous. In the middle of my overthinking Charlie handed me the phone, it had a profile made it had my name and many details. It felt like I was giving it to all 9 rings of hell! “Ok! How we gotta add some photos an-“
“Charlie!”
We both turned are head to see Alastor and Vaggie standing there. “Can you help with something real quick?” Vaggie ask seeming annoyed. “Of course!” Charlie’s called back before as standing up. “You go ahead and add those photos dad I’ll be back!” Charlie said as she ran to the two, leaving me alone on the couch staring at the screen.
I read over the info and it all was so…personal. How would anyone be comfortable putting this much out? I Don’t get me started with being the King of Hell it’s self, then an idea popped in my head. I turn my head slightly to see Charlie still talking to the pair so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I added photos of my duck inventions and made a duck with a white top hat as my ‘icon’. Now onto the name, Lucifer was too out there everyone would know, think! L names that are similar.
Lucifer..
Luci…
Luc…
Luca..
Luca! I instantly think changing the name quickly, removing the last name from the profile along with it. After that it looked like a normal profile. When I finished and satisfied with it Charlie was walking back over. “Sorry bout that dad! Now back to w-.” While she was speaking I shove my phone in my pocket and stand up. “No it’s fine! I set it up!” I nearly screamed it out as I stood from the couch. Charlie stared at me shock for a moment before her normal bright smile returned to her face. “Wow that’s great!” She said as she walked over “Look at you getting the hang of technology!” Charlie said happily. I didn’t know why I was so nervous by an app, but it was on my mind. After finishing talking to Charlie I was able to leave, soon I was back in my bedroom. I let out a sigh and feel onto the massive bed and pulled out my phone, Viva still open.
Y/N POV
Left..Left..Left..
God this app was a never ending app of swiping left on people wanting hook-ups was tiring. This was the last time I’d take F/N advice and use a dating app, the fact they exist in hell was already surprising. It was nude after nude of people looking for a hookup. Then something different popped up, instead of the naked body I almost have gotten used to, I was greeted by a rubber duck with a white top hat. My eyes widen a bit as I layed there I swipped to look at the second photo, more ducks. I then moved and read the bio. “Luca..” I said quietly to myself reading the short info. I looked at the photos and the bio, it stood out in the sea of profile, i stair a while longer…
…Right.
“CONGRATS! YOU GOT A MATCH!” Popped up on my screen in red shades, with the little duck icon. “…that was quick” I think to myself. I click on the little message option.
Y/N - Hi :)
No ones POV
Lucifer layed there looking at the profiles, this was dating. More like brothel. He could barely understand, after swiping left a few times he chose to just turn off his phone, it was a mistake to think an app could help. Almost as soon as Lucifer sat his phone down his phone went off, illuminating the room …then it went off again.
Lucifer raised an eyebrow picking up his phone to see two notifications, both from Viva. Seeing a match with someone named Y/N and a message from them. Lucifer felt himself lose the ability to breathe, “A match?” Lucifer asked himself, confused on what that meant, he open the Add to be greeted my the words “CONGRATS! YOU GOT A MATCH!” And the icon that belong to Y/N.
The icon was a photo of Y/N. Lucifer’s eyes lit up and he finally let out a breath. He admired their features. Their H/C H/L that looked perfect, their E/C eyes drew him in. He clicked the image see their profile, he was greeted my a normal photo of you, it stood out. Lucifer saw the message illuminating in corner of the screen, he let out a breath and opened the message and saw a simple
Y/N - “Hi :)”
I sat their staring at the message before typing himself
Luca - Hi
Time skip (why? Because I fucking said so.)
Over the past few weeks, Lucifer and Y/N talked every day. Learning every little detail of each other. Lucifer learned about your job, your friends, how you lived and how you died even. He couldn’t help but want to know everything.
Y/N learned he had a daughter and that he’d been “recently divorced”, his words not theirs. Y/N learned that he loves ducks and creating new duck toys, he was a big dork, like a big puppy dog. Of course you didn’t know you were talking to Lucifer himself, you thought you were talking to a man named Luca…
During Lucifer’s now frequent visit to his daughter and her little Hazbin hotel, Charlie couldn’t help but notice how her dad was one his phone more then usual, usual being never. Naturally, Charlie was curious. “Sooo..” Charlie started, a little unsure what to say about her fathers new found internet obsession. “Who are you talking to?” Charlie ask curious.
Lucifer was quick to meet his daughters eyes and quickly put his phone face down on the table . “No one!” He said in an almost scream, before it buzzed again..and again…and again. Charlie eyes went between her dads now sweating face and and his phone. Before Lucifer could even react, Charlie reached for his phone. “Wait!” Lucifer said reaching for his phone from her hands, the phone screen lite up and Charlie was greeted my 4 notifications from someone named Y/N from Viva. Charlie gasp turning quickly turning to face him, Charlie’s face lite up like Christmas lights. “YOUR TALKING TO SOMEONE?!” Charlie squealed from excitement, since she helped set up his password she quickly opened his phone to see more.
“Charlie don’t-“ Lucifer started to say before seeing her face fall from its happy to confused. “Wait..” Charlie said looking at his profile, “why is your name ‘Luca’?” Charlie ask her eyes moving from his phone finally to be greeted with Lucifer’s red face “well…,” Lucifer started, “I wasn’t comfortable putting my name and photo on there so…I put a different name and photo.” Charlie’s face went from suprise to more annoyed, not angry, just disappointed. “Dad you can’t just do that!” Charlie said to her father, her free rubbing her face. “You can’t just catfish her!”
Lucifer looked confused, catfish? Like the animal? “Catfish?” Lucifer asked, truly not understanding the term. “Yes dad you can’t just lie about who you are to someone like that!” Charlie said scolding her father. Lucifer after that was able to put two and two together, the weight of what he’s been hit him like a bus. “Dad,” Charlie said letting out a sigh, “you have to come clean to them.” She said as she handed him his phone. “Char ITS not that easy!” Lucifer said taking the phone from then hand seeing them newest text, her caring words, them asking if he he’s eaten, remind him to take care of himself, her word hit his heart hard. “It’s not a normal situation, I’m the king of hell, not some random sinner!” Lucifer said he eyes not leaving the illuminated screen. “Dad, they’re gonna find out sooner or later, it’s better if you do it now, early into you talking then later..”
Lucifer stated quiet, he knew deep down she was right, he did truly like them and want more with them, he could only imagine how you’d react if he waited much longer it’s already been a few weeks… Lucifer let out a sigh and looked up at his daughter. “your right..” he said quietly, “I’ll tell them just…give me time..” Charlie stared for a moment before letting before smiling again. “Just do it soon dad…” Lucifer knew she was right.
Later that night Lucifer layed in his bed, looking at her last message, contemplating how to tell them, shoudl he texted it, no they’d think he’s joking, “maybe…” he though out loud. “A FaceTime..?” He asked himself, no, he didn’t even know how to start one… maybe…a date? You’d know he wasn’t lying about being satan himself, he could explain better then over a device and he could only imagine how beautiful you were in person… Lucifer looked down at the message you last send hesitation purged his mind, but slowly he began to type.
Luca - hey, can I ask you something?
Y/N - of course ask anything! :)
Luca - I was thinking he could go out sometime? Like a date going out.
After a a minute he saw you typing a new message. He could already feel his heart race a mile a minute, he felt a cold sweat form. Why was he so nervous? Then a little buzz when off, it was you he was hesitant but swipe to open the message.
Y/N - wait really? You wanna go on a date with me??
Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat before typing with shaky fingers.
Luca - yes Y/N I really do.
Y/N - Yes I’d love to!! ❤️
Lucifer’s eyes lit up seeing you answer in only seconds, he can’t help but feel his heart flutter at the simple heart emoticon. Soon you both planned to meet for dinner the next night at a nice restaurant, named killer appetite, closer to the center of pentagram city, then he hit him…you both were actually going on a date. Together…
Y/N’s POV
When I saw his message asking me out, I could have screamed. He actually wanted to see me! I quickly typed and agreed to it. We chose dinner at a nice high end restaurant closer to the center of the city, I’ve heard of the place it was up scale. I was so ecstatic.
The next day at work couldn’t have gone slower, it felt like every minute was a hour long but as soon as that clock hit five, I was out the door racing home to get ready.As soon I was ready, my hair and outfit was perfect. I was quick out the door to the restaurant. On my way I received a message from Luca.
Luca - hey! Placed a reservation under L.M.
“L.M?” I asked myself, wondering what it meant, maybe his initials? I smile and replied ok,only a few minutes later I was at the restaurant, even though it was only 7 the restaurant was lively, full and packed. I walked over to the hostess stand.
“Hi, there should be a reservation for L.M?” I felt nervous, a mix of because of how busy it is and meet him…when I said the name of the reservation the hostess gave changed a mix of nervousness and excitement. “Of course! Right this way!” She said trying to put on a happy face but the nerves over shadowed that, she let me to a table already set up in a quieter area, almost completely different from the bustling atmosphere of the restaurant. “your server will be with you shortly, please enjoy!” She said as she raced out the room. I staired at the entrance way confused, why was that girl so nervous, and to have such a secluded area on a Friday night, it was unusual…
I sat down at the table that faced the entrance way. I pulled out my phone to text me.
Y/N - Hey! I just sat down! We have a really nice table, are you almost here? :)
I saw he read the text but no reply, I felt nervous again, my eyes kept watching my phone, my mouth was dry. But then I heard a voice “sorry I’m late..” the voice sounded nervous. I look up to a short blonde man. My eyes widen and my mouth is dry…
I was looking at Lucifer himself…
TAG LIST
@reverse-soe @kazurami14 @netheris @rainycloud858
#x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer morningstar x you#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel
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hii!! can you do one where situationship!peter like yells at trouble or something along those lines or is like embarrassed to be seen w her (i jsut wanna read something angsty 😭😭)
no rush ofc!! hope u had a good new years 🎀
added these two asks together <3
what do u think that frat!peter would do if he made trouble cry, like it was his fault
-----
when peter got a congratulatory clap on his shoulder with a 'heard you got cuffed up. good for you, man.' he brushed it off. peter had a good guess on why someone made that connection, he's been a little handsy with you at parties, and on campus. it's a natural thought.
when peter got nudged by a member of another frat, and a 'congrats, bro. she's a hottie.' he felt confused.
the third time it happened, while at his own house, peter finally asked what was up. 'where did you hear that?' a punch to his arm, 'your chick. she's telling everyone you're her boyfriend.'
and that? it made his blood boil.
'she's lying, i'm not dating anyone.' the brother's eyebrows raised, 'oh. i mean, i guess she told ja-' peter spoke up louder, 'she's a fucking liar.' the brother leaves it alone.
peter was almost pacing his floor while waiting for you. you've brought it up a thousand times, he's made his opinion very clear, and yet you're going behind his back and telling everyone he's the one thing he's not.
you don't notice his distaste, reaching out for a kiss you're dodged. peter wants to scoff at your pout, no wonder you feel sad, your boyfriend refused your touch.
'anything you wanna tell me, trouble?'
you're immediately taken back by his tone. 'anything that might get back to me?' you have a sinking feeling you know what it's about, you didn't know it would be whispered about, but you should've.
but, you won't put your foot in your mouth yet. 'i don't think so.' peter lets out a dry laugh, 'no? there's nothing that you did that makes you look fucking crazy?'
you swallow hard, is that what he thought of you? if so, he's wrong. 'i'm not crazy.' peter throws his hands up, 'really? okay, let's see if we can figure this one out together. i'm not your boyfriend, but apparently you're telling people i am. is that supposed to make you look sane?'
it's downright mean. 'you're being very condescending right now, peter. i don't like it.' peter's loud with his next sentence. 'just how i don't like being called your fucking boyfriend?'
your world comes crashing down. how could he be so brutal with such ease. it's so harsh you can't swallow back your emotions.
tears blot at your eyes while your lower lip trembles. 'is the idea of being with me that bad?' peter feels as crushed as you look. once it starts you can't stop, and to break down in front of peter, after he just called you fucking crazy, makes you dehumanize yourself.
you huff small breaths and try to wipe away the tears as they fall. you struggle to say your words without pausing to gasp. 'you didn't even... ask why.' it brings a new wave, he's being silent and you think it's over and final and you didn't get a chance to plead your case.
'i need... to leave.' you can't breathe, you can't even feel your feet when you move. you don't make it far because peter's in front of you and using his chest to back you up.
'alright, alright. just stop crying, okay?' peter doesn't know what to do because he's never actually made a girl cry that hard, or at least in his face, making him aware of his actions and how he could've tried to approach this in a calm way.
'you hate me,' you gasp, 'and you think i'm crazy,' another gasp, but this time you're scooped into his hold. 'stop. please, stop. please stop crying.' peter thinks if he squeezes you hard enough he could piece the parts he ruined back together.
'i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.' peter doesn't know what he wanted, but it wasn't a pleading apology coughed out between sobs. fuck, he was mean, wasn't he? 'stop it, trouble. just breathe, alright? it's done, okay?'
oh, peter's shit at this. you cry even harder, 'i know we are. i'm so sorry, i'll tell everyone i made it up and... and you-'
'we're not done. the conversation is done. just please stop fucking crying.' peter can't stress it enough because he feels so guilty he's about to start crying in solidarity.
'no! not until, not until you hear-'
'i'm not going to listen to anything until you can say three words without holding your breath.' it's useless, 'i think i'm dying.' you don't know how, but you're held even tighter to his chest, 'you're not dying. you're upset because i said mean things.'
you're able to take a deep breath, it feels good. 'you did.' peter can finally relax, you're not on the verge of passing out anymore. 'i know. i was really mean, wasn't i?'
'yeah.' fuck, he really, really hates how miserable he made you. peter cares about you, it's the one thing he makes sure to tell you, but he doesn't think you talk to the people you care about that way.
'i promise i'm not crazy, i just-'
'you're not crazy and i should've never said that.' you try to keep your face tilted down when peter pulled back, but he was adamant on having you look at him.
'i'm so sorry, okay? i was caught off guard by all these comments today and i took it out on you. you're right, i should've asked why. but i didn't, and i'm sorry.'
'jackson ruth got all weird and touchy at his party last week and i just blurted out that you were my boyfriend so he'd leave me alone and i swear i didn't mean for him to have it spread.'
you hate that you made him ashamed, maybe you said that part out loud too because you think you saw something break inside his eyes.
peter softly cups your face, any stray droplets cleared with a brush of his thumbs under your eyes. 'i'm not ashamed of you, i'd never be ashamed of you. you're my baby.'
hook, line, and sinker.
'you are always allowed to use my name if you need to, i promise. i was a dick and i made you cry and now i feel like shit that i made you feel like shit, and now i feel even shitter because i'm somehow making this about me.'
you wrap your hands around his, you'd rather him keep his hold. you feel special. 'do you mean it?' peter nods softly, he leans down for a kiss. it's warming, your chest blossoms wide.
if you were fucking crazy, hypothetically, you'd claim the accusation boldly when he says 'on everything i love.'
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The Selection
Paring: Neteyam x Fem!Tawkami!Reader
Summary: The Omatikaya clan holds a competition for Neteyam to choose a mate
Warnings: MDNI 18+, explicit language, eventual smut, mentions of killing, blood. I will have warnings before every chapter so no worries if I miss anything here.
Word Count: tbd
Status: ongoing
Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If that bothers you please do not interact with my account or any of my posts!
• Prologue
• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
~ There may very well be more chapters in that series. As you all know I tend to write very long fics and so these chapters will be a few thousand words long each. I appreciate all the support I had before releasing this series and if anyone wants to be added to my Taglist feel free to let me know in the comments!
~ As always, Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated! I will accept any suggestions as well if anyone has ideas to make this fic better if love to hear about it!
Taglist
@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @xylianasblog @nilahsstuff @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @m1tsu-ki @xrollingmyeyesx @goofygremlin123 @quicktosimp @r11k4 @its-jennarose @anonymuslydumb @winterhi09 @teymars @kylimarz
#neteyam x reader#neteyam sully#neteyam#neteyam avatar#neteyam smut#atwow neteyam#avatar the way of water#neteyam fic#neteyam talks#neteyam fanfiction#neteyam x omaticaya!reader#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#neteyam x you#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x oc#neteyam x na'vi!reader#neteyam x female reader smut#neteyam suli x reader#neteyam atwow#avatar neteyam#avatar smut#avatar fic#avatar fanfiction
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𝙗𝙖𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣! [1𝗄 𝖼𝖾𝗅𝖾𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇]
synopsis: you and your boyfriend have been working nonstop. performances on his end and endless meetings on yours. when you both finally get a break, he proposes you two get away for a few days. little do the both of you know that this “baecation” will provide physical, emotional, and sexual healing.
general tags/warnings: smut, pwp, female! reader, boyfriend! chan, non-idol! chan (professional dancer! chan), vacation/baecation getaway, lots of teasing, lots of dirty talk, lingerie on reader, hotel room sex, balcony sex, pool sex, basically chan and reader are just horny lovebirds
notes: WOW BESTIES 1 FREAKING THOUSAND OF YOU HERE AT DIRTYSVTHOUGHTS!! 🥹 never did i ever think this account would grow this much, but you all made it possible! thanks for reading, liking, reblogging, sending in asks, and everything in between! i hope you enjoy this *slight* self-indulgent work! oh to be fucked by boyfriend chan in a dimly-lit hotel room with rose petals..
———
this work will be released in three parts (w/ an epilogue) !
pt. 1 - the destination
pt. 2 - the arrival
pt. 3 - the heated night & the morning after
———
if you want to be added to this work’s taglist, please fill out this google form here!
———
teaser (547 words) - thank you to @wooahaeproductions for beta reading!:
you can’t help but stare in (happy) shock as your eyes take in the sight before you, after chan removes his hands from your eyes. there were rose petals scattered across the floor and your bed and champagne chilled in an ice bucket. the dim lights created a sexy ambiance with the last bits of sunlight dimming over the horizon - the large, wide glass windows casting the most beautiful view that you would never forget.
chan stands behind you, rubbing your hips as he hold you by your waist, his smile forming against the shell of your ear as he kisses it, and laughing as he gently sways you side to side. your body is engulfed in his, the warm, familiar sensation of his embrace pleasantly taking over your body.
“chan, what’s all this?” you asked amazed, especially at how much he put into this setup.
“this,” he whispers kissing your temple, “is for you. you’ve been working so hard baby, and now it’s time for you to be rewarded.” you look into his eyes as he holds your jaw, fingers delicately adorning your face. there was something in the air uniting your both - was it love? sincerity? adoration? whatever it was, nothing else mattered in the world right now except you two.
“i love you so much, baby,” he kisses your nose softly. “i know this isn’t a lot, but-”
you silence him with a deep kiss and you turn your body forward so your hands could hold the nape of his neck. your tongues dance together in passion as chan pulls you even closer, bodies and the room temperature heating up with your intensity.
you pause and separate momentarily, ragged breaths filling the space. “chan.. this is more than enough,” you sigh lovingly. “we could’ve stayed at home and i would’ve been more than happy - just being with you is all i need.” you can feel your eyes starting well with tears but you try your best to hold them back.
“i love you so much, chan.”
this time, he starts another passionate kiss. he reaffirms his hands on your waist as he places open mouth kisses on your lips. he walks both you towards the bed and unties the robe you had on, revealing the sheer black rose-decorated lingerie set and garter on your body.
chan whistles as he takes in the sight of you, stunning as ever. “shit,” he whispers, “all dressed up for me like the pretty girl you are..”
you smile as you bring his hand for your waist to your chest, letting chan feel you up as your bite your lip and whimper, his soft hands causing your nipples to perk up. you’re close enough now that the back of your knees hit the edge of your bed. he gently lays you down and climbs on top of you as he kisses your neck. his long fingers toy with your panty line, the motions sending shivers down your spine.
“mmmm, my channie,” you moan out blissfully as his fingers begin to enter your dripping core. “more, please give me more,” you whine out as he continues to press his lips against your body, wetness continuing to gush from inside you as his lips move down your body.
#dsvtt: baecation#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen imagine#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#svt fic#seventeen fic#dino fic#dino smut#dino seventeen smut#dino imagines#dino imagine#dino fanfic#dino x reader#lee chan x reader#lee chan imagines#lee chan smut#lee chan imagine#lee chan fanfic
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⭒The Silent One⭒
#2 Azriel x Fem!OC
⭒Part 1⭒Part 2⭒Part 3⭒Part 4⭒
Word Count: 3.8k
Summary: Cassandra decides to join the IC for dinner. Things feel weird and wrong but also…safe and comfortable. She opens up to them about her past traumas and gets to know more about them.
Warnings/Tags: mentions physical and visual sexual abuse in the recent past. describes physical violence. trauma. mute character. slow burn. protective!azriel. protective!IC.
Authors Note: All reblogs, likes and comments are welcome, appreciated and encouraged! Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for the next part! Regular italics are inter thoughts while bold italics are her communicating with other people mentally.
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“Relax,” Nuala cooed as she helped Cassandra ease into the large bath, warm and floral scented.
Cassandra had never been in a bath like this. Only one suited for regular fae without wings. They had been cramped and uncomfortable and nearly impossible to bathe everywhere without hurting a wing. But this bath? It was huge and could easily fit multiple people with and without wings. It stretched all the way to one of those glassless windows where the water spilled over in a soothing stream.
She leaned back when Nuala prompted, letting her wings float in the water. It was so nice the way they felt so weightless. Nuala tilted her head back and their eyes met as she cupped her hands with water and poured it over Cassandra’s white hair. She lathered it with a nice smelling soap, massaging at her scalp.
It was difficult to lay there and relax while someone else washed her hair. It reminded her of the mistress, how when she bathed her and washed her hair it was rushed and rough and…and when she washed her hair like this she would sometimes push her head under the water and hold her there—
Cassandra bolted up with a gasp, hands coming up to wipe away the water that fell down from her hair and over her face, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She whirled around, wide eyes catching Nuala’s, trying to desperately apologize for what she had done. The female just shook her head gently.
“It’s okay,” She said, “would you like to be left alone for a moment?”
Cassandra considered this, she both wanted to be alone and have someone else around. But she nods her head. Cerridwen walked in then, a stack of something in her hand.
“Clothes for you,” she said, sitting the stack on a shelf across the room. “We will be back but if you finish with your bath and wish to dress before we return the clothes will be here.”
Cassandra nods. She doesn’t know what else to do, but the females seem to understand, offering her small nods in return before leaving the room—the heavy door closing as they leave the bedroom the bedroom.
She sinks down in the water once she’s sure she’s alone. So much has changed in such a short time and she’s still not sure if this is all real. These people…they could change any moment. Drag her from this huge room and throw her into a prison cell and use her for whatever they pleased.
Turning in the water she pushed herself towards the other end of the tub, the one that waterfalls over the edge. What she sees there takes her breath away, an audible gasp leaving her lips.
The first thing she notices is all the lights, it looked exactly like the painting she saw with Morrigan. There was so much to look at. But what she really wanted to see was the beautiful sight above that. The night sky. The thousands of stars twinkling above, surrounding a bright moon.
She could have cried looking at the sight. But not because she felt sad, she felt safe. Comfortable. Content. Like this was where she was meant to be.
Eventually she did get out of the bath, drying herself off with the fluffy white towel that was unnaturally warm. She stopped in front of the mirror, surprised at her own reflection. She looked so different from the last time she actually saw herself. Her skin that was once a golden caramel color was lighter and ashen, dark circles under her green eyes. Her white hair slicked back with water was thinner than when it used to fall in thick ringlets as a girl. Her rib cage and hip bones protruding in a way they always had but wished they hadn’t. She had wanted a thicker, fuller body like the girls she saw at the pleasure houses. A strong body like her mothers used to be. A body that could hold up her wings and maybe one day…fly.
She had gotten dressed before Nuala and Cerridwen returned. The clothes weren’t like anything she’d ever worn before. Cream colored pants that were lined with a fuzzy material that was softer than anything she’d ever worn before. The top was a matching cream, flowy top with sleeves that stopped at her elbows and buttoned up the back to accommodate her wings. The shoes were white, flat and slipped on her feet easily.
She chose not to attend dinner that night. She wasn’t sure she could stomach any food. The twins looked disappointed. Her decision had been made to gauge how she would be treated if she didn’t have dinner with this high lord male.
She didn’t leave her room the following day either.
Or the day after that.
No one bothered her. No one came to drag her from the room kicking and screaming. No one beat on the door or called her horrible names. No one held her down or forced the food into her mouth. In fact no one except Nuala and Cerridwen came to her room at all.
And when they came they would bring a small tray of food, she only ever drank the tea and ate the biscuit and left everything else. She didn’t want to take too much before knowing if she was expected to do something in return.
When she finally felt safe enough she agreed to dinner on her fourth night. Nuala bathed her again. She couldn’t help the panic that overcame her once again as the female washed her hair but she cooed at her, soothingly before getting up and leaving her to finish alone as she had the first night.
Cerridwen took on fixing her hair, drying and styling it into waves that fell over her shoulders. Once she was done and dressed Nuala put a cream on her face and spritzed her with something that smelled sweet.
When they were done she felt like a different person. She felt clean. Comfortable. Alive.
There wasn’t much time to dwell on her feelings of finally leaving the room before Nuala and Cerridwen pulled her up and escorted her down the maze of hallways.
“Just two doors down, you’ll find the dining room,” Cerridwen pointed down the hall with a small smile. Cassandra wanted to ask why they weren’t also joining but when she turned to face them they were just gone as if they disappeared into thin air.
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Walking into the dining room was a weird feeling. Cassandra didn’t feel like she belonged there. In the fancy room, with a huge table filled with foods…foods she had never seen before. The four people she had met three days ago—and another she hadn’t met, all sat around the table talking in hushed whispers.
Azriel was the first to look over. His eyes met hers and offered her a small smile. “Cassandra,” his deep voice greeted.
“I’m glad you decided to join us this evening, please come sit,” Rhysand said, standing and motioning to the empty seat next to him, where Azriel would be on her other side—Morrigan in front of her and Cassian next to her. The other female at the opposite end of the table from Rhysand.
Cassandra hesitated for only a moment before walking over and realizing that the chair was designed to accommodate wings. She wouldn’t have to sit at some weird angle to be comfortable. Her eyes meet Azriel’s, the gentle look on his face a comfort she needed. He stood from his spot, sliding the chair out and gesturing for her to sit.
She felt eyes on her as she scanned all of the food in front of her. She had never seen so much food.
“I trust everything went okay the last few days?” Rhysand asked as he took his own seat once again.
“I freaked out a little when Nuala was washing my hair…” Cassandra admitted, shoulders hunching in embarrassment.
“That’s okay, no need to be upset. You’ve been through a lot, it’s expected. Nuala and Cerridwen are understanding and won’t hold it against you. You have my word on that.”
She wanted to say thank you again but didn’t feel it was appropriate. She didn’t know what else to say so she nodded her head and looked towards that other female, freezing as she looked into glowing silver eyes. She had never seen anything so…beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
A snort to her side caught her attention and she looked at Rhysand.
“Sorry, I just heard that,” Rhysand said, Cassandra’s eyebrows pulled together before realization dawned on her. The comment about the other female… “Amren.” Rhys supply’s the name.
She looks back to the female, to those eyes that make her not want to look away.
“Hello, girl,” She greets, and it’s not a terrifying rumble, but a genuine greeting.
Cassandra offers a small smile, feeling a draw to the small female. No one else spoke so she reached for a plate but before her fingers could even graze it, it filled with food before her eyes. She blinked at it in shock, looking to Rhysand to see if he had done it.
There was a small smile on his lips as he shook his head.
“The house is enchanted, it does what it pleases. You wanted food so it filled your plate for you,” Azriel spoke, she looked over at him then back at the plate.
Oh, wow. She thought…the food had even been diced into smaller pieces as she had told Rhysand. Her eyes fell on the wine glass in front of her—she wouldn’t drink it, couldn’t, so she looked at Azriel again then around the room. Water. And just like that, a glass of water appeared in front of her.
Cassandra felt the corners of her mouth twitch up, eyes meeting Azriel’s again then Rhysands before she grabbed the glass of water.
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“It’s pretty awesome, right?” Cassian spoke, his long hair that had been pulled back earlier now fell to his shoulders.
Cassandra nodded in answer, sitting her glass back on the table. Rhys took his seat, grabbing his wine glass, silently observing the female as she reached for her fork.
“I’ve never had this much food before…”
Rhys isn’t surprised but he’s not expecting the words and they make his heart hurt.
“Eat as much as you’d like,” Rhys says warmly, watching as she scoops up some warm potatoes and brings them to her lips.
“Mm” she hums, eyes closing. “That’s so good!” Rhys doesn’t answer, he can tell she’s not speaking to him consciously, she’s just thinking, not a single mental shield to protect her fragile mind.
It’s the next bite that wipes the small mine from all the faces. No longer an exploratory bite but a ravenous one. One after another, eating quickly and without restraint. Eating in a way that meant she had been starving, had never had an adequate food supply, had never been allowed to eat more than what was given.
She didn’t speak and neither did they. None of them would tell her to stop or slow down, all having been there at some point in their lives. They had all known that hunger at one point or another. So they let her eat. And drink. And eat some more.
Potatoes. Greens. Fruit. Meat. Bread. A plate appeared next to her holding a slice of cake and she ate that too—she had never had cake before but no one else at the table knew that.
It’s only when her plate is empty that anyone speaks up. It’s Cassian that asks, “How do you feel you’re settling in?” It’s an attempt to bring about a conversation without making her uncomfortable.
Cassandra takes a slow sip of water, breathing deeply as she does before looking at Rhysand who nods in confirmation that he’ll give her answer.
“Honestly…I feel more comfortable here than I have ever felt anywhere else.”
“That’s wonderful! We want you to be as comfortable as possible,” Morrigan chimes in, excited as if she’d been waiting to talk to Cassandra for the past three days. “When we didn’t see you for three days we were worried—well I was. The boys wanted to give you some space.”
“I didn’t know what was expected of me,” she says, Rhysand repeats her and she’s met with confused frowns. “That’s why I stayed away, didn’t eat much. I didn’t know if anything would be…expected of me in return if I did.”
“You have no debt to us, Cassandra. Nothing is expected of you,” Rhysand speaks, his voice firm but gentle. “If you wish to come to dinner you eat your fill until you’re satisfied. If you need clothes you wear what you like and it’s yours to keep. Nothing will ever be taken or held against you as punishment of any kind.”
Cassandra blinks at him, feels the wetness in her eyes as she nods. There’s just one nagging question in her mind, one she needs an answer to before she gets too comfortable.
“Why am I here then?” She asks, setting her fork down on a freshly filled plate, half as full as before.
Rhysand lets out a sigh before telling the others what she’d asked.
“You are here because I received word from one of Azriel’s spies—I’ll give you a more in depth explanation on what that means at another time—that pleasure houses in my court were buying and selling females against their will,” Rhysand begins to explain. “See we have many pleasure houses in Velaris but it has always been law that consent is the main requirement for anyone involved. Those who work or visit have to be there because they want to be there.”
“So, when we got word this law had been broken, Rhys sent us out to patrol the pleasure houses,” Azriel said, drawing her attention to him, “he needed solid proof of the law being broken before he could step in. Cassian and I, we saw you there. Scared. Frightened. Clearly not there of your own free will and didn’t feel it was safe for you to stay there.”
Cassandra looked at him, taking in the shadows swirling around him. His kind hazel eyes, the blue siphons glowing on his scarred hands. Remembered how when her eyes first landed on him on the other side of those bars she had been absolutely terrified of him.
“What about the…Mistress?” She asked turning away from Azriel to look at Rhysand.
“You no longer have to call her mistress, her name is Kamari. She is still here in our cells, she’s not been harmed. We are working to gather some intel from her. Who her bosses are, where they are buying the females and any other information we can get from her. She’s been cooperative in giving us the information we need to stop this from happening to any other females,” Rhysand said, eying the female in front of him before looking to his second in command.
“Do you have any information that may help us, girl? Anything we could use against that female to get more information?” Amren asks, fixing her smoky eyes on the female.
Cassandra was quiet for a moment, thinking. Trying to piece together everything she could remember. She looks up and nods her head. Everyone seemed to sit a little straighter, their full attention on her alone.
“My father is the one who sold me to a male named Vale. Blue skin, a long deep scar across his face, black eyes…mean and very strong—”
Rhysand hold his hand up, relaying the information to Azriel and you watch curiously as one of his shadows darts away and out of a window.
“Cassandra, do you mind if I open up a channel for everyone to hear what you say to me? It will help us find these people,” Rhysand asks, she doesn’t need to think before she nodded. She wanted to help in any way she could. Help any girls going through what she did and stopping more from going through it.
“Please, continue,” Rhysand encouraged.
“The male, Vale, had bought other females. He kept me me in a dark room under his home with three other females. He—he raped one of the girls many time but not me or the other two girls. He said he would get more money for us if we stayed…untouched.” Cassandra’s stomach rolled at the memories. Nauseated, remembering the cries of that poor girl every time that man came down stairs and hurt her. She could see the anger in the eyes that surrounded her, could practically feel it radiating from them. Their fists and jaws clenched tightly, wings rigid and shoulders taunt. But she continued.
“I stayed there for a few months before he took me to that…pleasure house? I’m not sure what happened to the other girls. I think he may have kept the one he raped.”
“Do you know their names?” Cassian asks and she’s nods. How could she ever forget them?
“Seera, Juno and Neema. I believe Seera and Juno were sister but I’m not completely sure. We tried not to talk too much because it made the male very angry,” She took a deep breath, trying not to remember the time he had nearly crushed her throat for merely asking to use the bathroom.
Unbeknownst to her she had sent that mental image to them who were seething with anger at what this poor girl had gone through.
“Once I was at that place I was introduced to Miss—I was introduced to Kamari,” She continued, needing to get away from the memories of that male. “She was in charge of my training. She stripped me naked, told me I would never own a pair of clothes again. That I was to be naked and ready for any male to take me whenever they pleased. I was to learn things that would…please these males. Anytime I refused I was beaten. So, for months I watched other females pleasure males in many ways. But only watched. They said—she said I would be sold for a lot of money for being untouched. That whoever paid the most could do whatever they wanted to me. When I saw the two of you I thought—” She swallowed thickly eyes shooting between Azriel and Cassian. “I though you were going to—”
Her voice cracks and she looks away. Morrigan pushes out of her chair, walking around the table. “Can I hug you?” She asks.
All Cassandra can do is nod letting Morrigan wrap strong arms around her. Hugging her tightly. Holding her in a way that reminded her of her mother before she died. After a moment Morrigan pulls away offering a napkin to wipe her eyes.
“Cassandra, dear, we can be done for today if it’s too much to continue,” Rhysand offers gently.
She nods gently, feeling as if maybe she wasn’t much help at all. The rest of dinner is spent in silence, Cassandra hunched into herself while the other four fae think about killing everyone who hurt this innocent girl and many more.
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It’s later that evening when Cassandra slips from her room. The stone floor is cold under her feet and the satin nightgown doesn’t do much to keep the cold from her skin so she tucks her wings around her body.
She makes her way to the roof of the house, a training area the twins had told her was up here—they had also told her it was the best place to view the stars.
It’s a breathtaking sight. The wind whips her hair around as she walks to the edge. The lively city sparkling below while the endless sky shines above. Beautiful. She sighs gazing at the sight of the silver moon and tapestry of stars.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up here at this time,” Cassandra spins around, sighing in relief when she spotted Azriel, she hadn’t heard him come out at all.
“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep. I always loved looking at the stars,” She said, grateful Rhys had made it to where she could communicate—at least with the few people here.
Azriel gives her a lopsided smile that makes her heart stutter. “No need to apologize, that's why I’m out here too. The night sky has always been…soothing.”
She turns back to the ledge as he walks closer.
“You know, my father he was ashamed to have children with wings,” Cassandra said, as Azriel watched her from the side, her white hair shining in the moonlight—those green eyes glowing again. “He kept us locked away, and didn't want anyone to see us. My mother had her wings taken when she was a teenager. She said normally they just clipped them but her father was especially cruel and completely took hers away. Well, when my father was drunk enough or didn’t come home some evening my mother would bring us out and let us look at the stars, she taught us the constellations. And I got to see Starfall with her only one time before she died. It was…the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. After she died I never saw the stars again—not until the night you and Cassian took me away from that horrible place.”
Azriel did his best to simmer his anger, to clutch his shadows tightly that so badly wanted to reach out and comfort the female—to wipe away the glistening tears on her cheeks. She looks over at him then and he looks up at the sky so as not to reach out for her.
“Your mother seems like a lovely woman,” He says, hoping the opportunity to talk about her mother may make her feel better.
The smile that came over her face wasn’t what he was expecting. The way it lit up her face had his shadows singing in his ear. Beautiful. She’s beautiful.
She wiped her cheeks with one hand and nodded.
“She was amazing. She tried to protect us from him but she was just as afraid of him as we were. She didn’t know how to get out. But she took care of us. She was still young when she died—he says she died from taking some kind of herbs, that she took her own life. But I—I always believed he did it.” Azriel took in a shuttery breath.
“I’m sorry,” He said, struggling to find the words to comfort her.
“Me, too. I wish I could have protected her the way she protected me. But now she’s up there with the stars looking over us. Watching me, I think she would be happy I got out. I just hope I can help protect someone else the way I should have protected her.” She folded her arms across her chest and turned away from the ledge. “I think I’ll try to get some sleep. Goodnight, Azriel.”
Azriel watched her walk away. Night gown blowing in the wind, the beautiful broken girl disappearing into the shadows.
tag list: @aelinwya @starlightandsouls @fullmoon-94 @aetherl0l @caticorn61 @lilah-asteria @blackgirlmagicforever @div94
#Cassandra my sweet girl#she’s trying her best#slow burn#slow burn but as you can tell Azriel’s catching the feels#I don’t want to rush things though baby Cassandra has a lot to process and heal from#I think it may be a he fell first she fell harder deal#Azriel’s gonna do everything in his power to protect her they’re gonna be best friends too#found family is the best trope btw#acotar#azriel#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfiction
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Okay, you know the idea of tieflings having the "fuck me tail"? Well, what if Raphael did that in front of Tav without realizing it at the time and someone like Korrilla and/or Haarlep alerts the cambion that he had essentially been sporting a boner during the whole conversation with his favorite misadventure (if Raphael is unsure if Tav is aware of what the lifted tail meant, then even better)?
(AN: I get a LOT of asks about bathing and Raphael's reaction to seeing Tav naked, so I added those things into this one as well. Tav is Raphael's warlock. Loved this prompt btw anon. Thank you <3)
Tails (Raphael x Warlock!Tav)
Slight NSFW
“Do you care to explain why you are bleeding on my expensive Halruaan carpet when all I asked of you were to speak to Lord Caldwell?” Raphael said with a sneer as he studied her bloodied body. “If you are this incompetent at following orders, you will go back to dealing with clients in the Lower City again.”
“I can explain,” she wheezed. “And I did get him to sign, by the way.”
She was barely standing. Her clothes were bloodied, and she was holding a hand over a rather large gash on her stomach.
She handed him the contract. There were a few bloodspots on it, but it had the signature of Lord Caldwell as he had requested. He looked it over and it seemed to calm some of his anger, though he still seemed annoyed that she had not followed his orders.
Raphael groaned and started walking. He beckoned her to follow.
He led her to the boudoir. Haarlep was lounging on some of the pillows that laid on the floor near the pool, smoking from a hookah. They looked up at her with a sinful smile and lazily waved at her.
Raphael tugged on Tav's shirt before passing her.
“Strip,” he commanded.
Haarlep’s eyes lit up and looked hungrily at her before adjusting themself amongst the pillows to enjoy the show. Raphael kicked Haarlep’s leg in passing and gestured towards the other end of the room where the bed was.
“Leave us,” he said to Haarlep.
“Oh, she doesn’t mind if I stay and watch,” Haarlep said and looked from Raphael to her with an exaggerated pout. “Do you, mouse?”
Tav looked at the both of them with a confused expression, as she clung to one of the pillars around the restoration pool to not fall over.
“I’m not taking off my clothes,” Tav said.
“Your clothes are in tatters, and you look as if you are on the verge of fainting,” Raphael said and gestured to the water of the pool. “You will get in or I will throw you in.”
“Can’t I just keep my clothes on?” Tav whined. “I don’t want to get naked in front of you.”
“Oh please,” he said with annoyance in his voice. “The novelty of seeing a naked body somewhat fades after you have been alive for thousands of years. I could not be less interested in what you keep under there. Get in.”
She sighed and started taking off her clothes. Haarlep was quiet and hoped that Raphael had forgotten about them. They devoured her with their eyes while she took off her clothes.
Tav slipped into the pool and the water's restorative powers quickly worked its magic on her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pools edge for a moment as all the pain finally left her body.
Haarlep discreetly let one of their legs drop into to the water and started slipping their harness off. Before they could even make the move to slip out of the little clothes they were wearing to join her in the pool, Raphael’s hand was around their neck. Haarlep made a slight choked yelp as they were lifted to their feet and given a push towards the other end of the room.
“I said leave,” Raphael growled at them before turning his attention back to Tav. “A report, if you would be so kind, mouse.”
Tav opened her eyes again and sat up more. She noticed that Haarlep had not left them, but had instead simply taken a seat behind Raphael where they were out of view from her annoyed patron.
“Right,” she said and began washing off all the dirt and blood off her naked body with a sponge.
She began explaining herself to him: How Lord Caldwell had gotten pissed at her after she had not reciprocated his flirtatious advances after he had signed, as he apparently must have thought that him signing meant that he was free to feel her up and do as he please. How Lord Caldwell had called on his guards after she had, accidentally, of course, punched him in the face. How she had barely escaped with her life.
She wasn’t looking at Raphael as she was explaining. She kept her eyes down and kept focusing on washing herself, avoiding the wrath that would no doubt be in her patron’s eyes as she told him how she had escalated the situation by using violence.
She had only dared to look up at him briefly every now and again. She saw that he was leaning up against a pillar close to the pool, watching her as she explained.
Surprisingly, he did not have much to say other than a few sounds of affirmation that he had heard what she was saying, which made her even more nervous.
Suddenly she heard an odd noise. A high-pitched muffled sound that made her look up for a moment. It came from Haarlep. It looked as if they were near pissing themselves with laughter as they kept a hand over their mouth to contain the sounds. It wasn’t directed at her though, but rather something going on behind Raphael it seemed.
“So yeah…that’s…that’s it,” she looked up at Raphael, fully expecting to see him pissed off.
He quickly averted his gaze from her body and back up to her eyes, as it looked like he had been staring. He cleared his throat and made a sharp turn with his body. She could have sworn she saw a bulge in his pants before he did so. When he turned, she noticed that his tail was in a weird, almost heart-shaped position as well, which made her raise an eyebrow.
“Good,” Raphael said quickly. “Dismissed.”
Raphael snapped his fingers once and she was out of the pool, fully dressed. Another snap and she was sent back to where she was before she was whisked away to his house.
Haarlep started audibly laughing now that she had left.
“The novelty of seeing a naked body somewhat fades after you have been alive for thousands of years,” Haarlep mocked in Raphael’s voice and with his mannerisms.
Raphael glared at Haarlep.
“Oh, what a gift,” Haarlep said with tears in their eyes. “She really is something, your little mouse. To make you wag with both tails like that.”
Haarlep burst out into another laughing fit. Raphael’s eyes widened at their words, and he instantly became hyperaware of the position of his tail.
No, Raphael thought with horror, and a frown fell over his face at the embarrassing realization. It was a loss of control, and it was completely unlike him to forget himself like that. What was he? A hormonal boy who had barely grown into their immortality?
His eyes narrowed at Haarlep who was still filling the room with their high-pitched laughter. He was still painfully hard despite their taunting, and he had just the thing for shutting them up.
“Yes, please Haarlep, laugh while you still have vocal cords and a tongue to do so,” he threatened and pointed on the floor in front of his feet before undoing his pants. “On your knees, now.”
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GUILTY AS SIN...? - PART II
summary: one summer with the man you can't have, but can't stop thinking about.
pairing: cillian murphy x popstar!reader
word count: 9.1k
warnings: 18+ (minors dni). explicit sex. angst. cussing, slight age gap, mentions of alcohol and divorce. no use of y/n, heavily inspired by ts and ttpd. if i missed something please let me know. (also this is a work of fiction, none of it reflects how i feel about the people mentioned in this, most importantly cillian's wife, who im sure is a sweetheart irl. it's fiction, just relax and enjoy it, and if not, move along, friends.)
a/n: hi everyone! here's the second part, finally. i had lots of fun writing this one, happy reading <3
part one
After staying at Cillian's for awhile, you decided to go to the place you had rented. The truth is, you didn't want to leave, but you had already extended your stay longer than planned, and you wanted to give him space with his kids. And you also wanted to give him time to process the event that took place four nights ago in his bathroom. Or you wanted to give yourself time to process it.
At this point, you weren't sure who needed the space more.
It was all very confusing because, yes, you've had feelings for him for God knows how long, but you've squashed them down like a stubborn bug for the sake of your friendship and, most importantly, his family. Those two things were always at the forefront of your mind, guiding every action and decision. But now that his family is no longer a factor and the two of you almost crossed a line, it's hard to ignore those feelings.
Those feelings that crawl up your spine every time he smiles at you or brushes against your hand accidentally. Those feelings also make you feel like the worst person in the world, as if you're betraying his ex-wife and their children by even entertaining the idea of something more with him.
It's all so delicate.
The cottage is nestled between rolling green hills and the glimmering blue of a distant sea. The place is like a warm embrace. The floors are laid with wide, honey-colored wooden planks, their surface worn smooth by generations of footsteps. Exposed wooden beams crisscross the ceiling, their rich, dark wood adding a sense of history and sturdiness to the space. The walls are painted in a soft, creamy white. The master bedroom is a haven of tranquility, with white linen curtains billowing softly in the breeze from the open window. The bed, with its wrought iron frame, is piled high with quilts and pillows in soft shades of blue and green. It's the best sleep you've had in months.
It rained earlier today. You've stayed inside all day, not wanting to venture out into the wet weather. The gentle pitter-patter of raindrops against the window was a soothing backdrop to your day, but it stopped around mid-afternoon, leaving behind a fresh, clean scent in the air.
Now you’re sitting at the rustic wooden table beneath the pergola, one leg tucked under you, grapevines overhead casting dappled shadows on the weathered wood. The garden around you is alive with color—wildflowers in every shade imaginable sway gently in the soft breeze, and the lavender and rosemary release their fragrant scent into the air.
Bon Iver’s voice drifts softly from your phone, which lies next to your notepad on the table. The music is haunting, its melancholy tones matching the weight in your chest. You’ve been here for hours, or maybe it’s only been minutes—time seems to blur together lately.
The notepad lies open beside you, filled with half-written lyrics, fragments of thoughts and emotions that you can’t quite bring yourself to finish. The pages are messy, scribbled lines crossed out, some words barely legible, as if your hand couldn’t keep up with the rush of thoughts.
You’ve been chasing this dream for so long—touring, recording, performing in front of thousands of people—but somewhere along the way, you’ve lost sight of why you started. The music that once brought you so much joy now feels like a burden; the words that once flowed effortlessly are now tangled up in doubt and frustration. The applause, the fame, the success—it’s all there, but it feels hollow. It feels lonely.
The sun is beginning to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the water, but you’re too tired to move. You prop one leg up the chair and rest your chin on your hand. You focus on the water, trying to find some solace in its steady flow. But all you can feel is a deep, gnawing sense of unfulfillment, a yearning for something you can’t even name.
How pathetic.
You’re tired, so tired, and the dream that once seemed so bright now feels like a chore.
The door creaks open behind you, and you catch the faint sound of footsteps on the stone path. You don’t need to turn around to know it’s him. Cillian moves with a certain quietness, a soft presence that you’ve come to recognize. The footsteps grow closer until they stop just to your left.
"You should lock your door," he says, his voice low, carrying a hint of amusement but also concern.
You let out a small, tired laugh, not bothering to look up. "Didn’t think anyone would come by," you reply, your gaze still fixed on the stream; its gentle flow is the only thing that seems to make sense right now.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just stands there, his shadow blending with yours. Then he pulls out the chair next to you, the wood scraping softly against the stone, and sits down. You can feel his eyes on you, but he doesn’t press, just lets the silence settle around you both.
You hear him shift beside you, and from the corner of your eye, you see him glance down at the notepad on the table. His gaze lingers on the unfinished words, but he doesn’t say anything about them. Instead, he just leans back in his chair, looking out at the water with you.
After what feels like an eternity, he finally speaks, his voice softer, almost reflective. "I know that look. The one that says you’re miles away, stuck in your own head."
You don't respond, knowing that he understands you more than most people. The music on your phone shifts to another Bon Iver song, this time Beach Baby.
He continues. "You know, sometimes I think about all of it—this life, the fame, the roles I play. It’s bizarre, isn’t it? I spend so much time being someone else, living in someone else’s skin, that it’s easy to forget who I am when the cameras stop rolling."
His words hang in the air, and you turn your head slightly to look at him. His expression is thoughtful, his blue eyes distant, like he’s lost in his own memories. "It’s like… sometimes, I feel more like myself when I’m acting, when I’m being someone else. That's what made me fall in love with it in the first place. I just loved being somebody else. It’s easier, somehow. But then there are those moments, when the lights go out, and I’m just… me. And that’s when the loneliness creeps in."
You nod, understanding more than you’d like to admit. "It’s the same with music, I guess," you say quietly. "There’s this rush, this high, when you’re on stage, when everyone’s looking at you and you’re giving them everything you’ve got. But then it’s over, and you’re left with the silence, the emptiness. It’s like… who am I when it stops?"
He looks at you then, really looks at you, and you can see the shared understanding in his eyes. It’s a strange comfort knowing that someone else gets it, that you’re not alone in this feeling of being lost.
You take a deep breath, the weight of the words you’ve been holding back suddenly becomes too heavy to keep inside. "I guess that's why I'm here. To escape. To escape the pressure, the expectations and…just be," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "Everything is a performance. Everything. When we're out in the world, we're expected to act a certain way, to fit into a mold. We have to edit ourselves. As honest as we try to be, there's always a part of us that remains hidden. And it's exhausting."
Cillian nods, his gaze never leaving yours. "And when you’re alone, you can let go of that and let your mind just be still," he says, his voice carrying the weight of someone who’s thought about this a lot. "It’s quite peaceful, isn’t it? But it’s also… terrifying. Being alone with your thoughts, with no distractions, no one to perform for. It’s like staring into a void sometimes."
You swallow hard, the truth of his words hitting you square in the chest. "Yeah, it is. But it’s also when I feel the most myself. When it’s just me, and I don’t have to be anything for anyone. Just… here, in the quiet, letting my mind rest."
For a moment, neither of you speaks. The garden around you is alive with the soft sounds of nature—the rustling of leaves, the gentle murmur of the stream, the distant call of a bird. Bon Iver’s music still plays from your phone—Holocene.
You break the silence. "Sometimes I think about it. I think about letting go of it." It's a terrifying thought but also strangely liberating. You don't know what it means completely yet, but just saying it out loud brings relief. Cillian just looks at you, his eyes reflecting understanding and empathy.
It was so easy, existing with him.
In this moment, you feel a little less lost, a little more understood. And as the sun dips lower in the sky, a mix of orange and pink hues, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re not as alone as you thought.
The next day dawns softer, brighter. You wake up with a sense of calm that had been missing for a while. There’s a lingering warmth from yesterday, the conversation with Cillian still playing in the back of your mind. As you sat at the same wooden table this morning, you found yourself scribbling lyrics that flowed easier, more naturally. They’re different—slower, more deliberate. There’s a depth to them that feels right, as if you’re finally tapping into something real, something honest.
Last night had ended quietly. After that heavy talk in the garden, Cillian stayed for dinner. The two of you kept the conversation light, avoiding the unspoken tension. It was there, hovering between you, but neither of you brought it up. Instead, you talked about mundane things and watched Punch-Drunk Love in the quaint living room. He pointed out every little detail he liked in it, and you listened, soaking in the emotion in his voice.
When the movie ended, he promised to see you the next day, and you reassured him it was fine, that you understood his absence. You meant it, even though a part of you always ached for more of his presence.
Today, with that newfound energy, you decided to venture out. An early morning walk turned into a drive to the nearby town. You pulled on a cap and sunglasses—a funny and somewhat ineffective disguise, but it was something. The town was charming, with narrow cobblestone streets, quaint shops, and a relaxed pace. Most people didn’t give you a second glance, and for that you were grateful. It was nice to blend in, to be just another person out enjoying the day.
You wandered through the market, admired the local crafts, and even picked up a few things—a handmade bracelet, a small painting of the Irish countryside. Lunch was at a cozy little café, tucked away from the main street. You ordered a hearty bowl of seafood chowder, rich and warming, with fresh bread on the side. As you sat there savoring the meal, your phone buzzed. It was Cillian, asking if you wanted to grab drinks tonight. You hesitated, your mind running through a dozen reasons to say no, but in the end, you agreed. You wanted to see him again, even if you couldn’t quite admit how much.
Back at the cottage, you took your time getting ready. You set the atmosphere, lighting a few candles, playing some soft music in the background. It felt good to take care of yourself and put a little effort into how you looked. You chose a pair of jeans that fit just right, a black top, and your favorite leather jacket. Casual but confident. A swipe of red lipstick added a touch of boldness.
You didn’t know where the night would take you, but you felt ready.
Cillian arrived right on time, his car rolling up the gravel drive just as you slipped on your jacket. When you stepped outside, he was already out of the car, leaning casually against the door. He smiled when he saw you—a warm, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat.
“Ready?” he asked, his eyes flicking over your outfit with an appreciative glance.
“As I’ll ever be,” you replied, a hint of nerves bubbling up but quickly pushed aside.
The drive to the pub was easy, the conversation flowing effortlessly. You talked about your day, the town, the little things you’d picked up. He told you about his new movie coming out later this year, based on a novella set in the mid-1980s in a small Irish village. There was a comfort in the exchange, in the way your words mingled with the sound of the tires on the road.
When he pulled up outside the pub, you couldn’t help but grin at the sight. It was a small, unassuming place, the kind of spot that felt like a well-kept secret. The sign above the door was weathered, the windows glowing warmly from the inside. It looked cozy, inviting.
“Do I need to bring out my disguise?” you asked, amused, as you glanced at him.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, you’re safe here. No one’s going to bother us. I’ve been coming here for years. They don't give a shit about me.”
He was right. The pub was perfect—dimly lit, with a mix of old and new music playing in the background. The crowd was relaxed, more interested in their conversations than in who might be sitting at the next table. You found two empty stools at the bar and settled in.
Close to the drinks. Perfect.
You ordered beers—the kind that tasted awful but somehow fit the atmosphere. Cillian took a sip of his beer, and the reaction was immediate. He groaned, his head falling back as if in defeat, eyes closed as he savored—or perhaps endured—the taste. The dim light from the pub’s old-fashioned fixtures cast a warm glow on his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that had begun to form. His lips, still wet from the beer, parted in a wry smile that spoke volumes of his disdain for the drink. His brow furrowed slightly as he kept his eyes closed, letting out a deep, exaggerated sigh as if the beer was the worst thing he’d ever tasted.
It was a dramatic performance, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how absurdly handsome he looked even in that moment. There was something endearing about it—the way he could make something so ordinary seem so intense. His dark hair, slightly tousled, fell over his forehead, and you found yourself staring longer than you meant to.
“Bloody hell, that’s awful,” he muttered, finally opening his eyes and giving you a side glance. His blue eyes sparkled with trouble, the corners crinkling as he caught the expression on your face. “You should’ve seen yourself, though. Looked like you were trying to swallow glass.”
You rolled your eyes, unable to stop the smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, please. You looked like you were about to keel over from one sip,” you shot back, sarcasm lacing your voice.
He chuckled, the sound low and rich, and the amusement in his eyes deepened. “Can’t argue with that,” he admitted, taking another sip with a grimace. “Piss beer, this is. I’d almost prefer water.”
“Almost,” you teased, lifting your glass to take another drink. The foam clung to the rim as you sipped, and you made a point to keep your expression neutral, though you could feel the bitterness spreading across your tongue.
Cillian leaned in a bit closer, his Irish accent growing thicker with each drink. “But then, what would we have to complain about, eh? I think the shite beer is half the charm of this place.” His voice was smoother, more relaxed, and you noticed the way his words seemed to roll off his tongue, rich with the lilting cadence of his heritage. It was endearing, undeniably so, and you found it increasingly hard to focus on anything else.
“Is that what they call charm here? I must’ve missed the memo,” you quipped, smirking as you met his gaze. The clever back-and-forth felt natural, easy, and it warmed you more than the alcohol ever could.
“You’re lucky I’m here to explain it to ya,” he said, leaning in just a bit more, his voice dropping to a playful murmur. “Otherwise, you might’ve gone your whole life without knowing the joys of terrible Irish beer.”
“Oh, I’m so grateful,” you shot back, sarcasm dripping from your words, but your smile gave you away. “I’ll add it to the list of things you’ve taught me.”
He grinned, clearly enjoying the banter, and you noticed how close he had gotten. His arm was now resting casually on the back of your seat, and every so often, your knees would brush, those accidental touches sending a small, electric thrill through you. The pub’s atmosphere, once filled with distant conversations and the clinking of glasses, now seemed to narrow down to just the two of you. The world outside the booth blurred away, and all that was left was Cillian’s presence, the sound of his voice, and the faint, intoxicating scent of him that mixed with the pub’s woody, earthy aroma.
The more you drank, the closer you both seemed to get, each sip loosening the barriers that had been in place. His laughter grew louder, more infectious, and his accent, more pronounced with every word, sent a shiver down your spine. It was more than just the alcohol—there was an ease between you that you hadn’t felt before, a sense of connection that went beyond the usual playful exchanges.
“Y’know,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he leaned in even closer. “I think I’m starting to like this beer.”
You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into a smirk, feeling a little more brave. “Is that so? Or is it just the company?”
He chuckled, his breath warm against your ear as he replied, “Maybe a bit of both.”
A familiar flutter stirred in your chest—the undeniable pull that you’d been trying to ignore for days. But tonight, in this pub, with its terrible beer and terrible lighting, you decided you didn’t want to fight it anymore. Not here, not with him.
You moved on to something stronger, whiskey that burned going down but left a warmth spreading through your chest that felt as intoxicating as the alcohol itself. With each sip, the edges of your nerves smoothed out, and you felt looser, braver, and a little sexier. You sat on the bar stool with your body angled slightly toward Cillian. The leather of your jacket creaked as you shifted, the red of your lipstick standing out against the dim light. You felt his gaze on you, not just looking, but really seeing you, his eyes tracing the curve of your neck down to where your top dipped, lingering just a moment longer than usual.
His look was hungry, but it wasn’t just that—it was curious, intrigued. He rested his elbow on the bar, leaning closer, his knee brushing against yours as he picked up his glass, watching you over the rim as he took a sip. The whiskey seemed to bring out the blue in his eyes, making them sharp and piercing, but there was softness there too, an openness that had grown.
“You know,” you began, a small, knowing smile playing on your lips. “I was just thinking about the first time we met.”
His eyebrow arched in curiosity, and he leaned in a little closer, his interest piqued. “Oh yeah? That was… what, 7 years ago? At the Globes, wasn’t it?”
You nodded, taking another sip of your drink, the liquid courage giving you the confidence to broach the subject. “Yeah, that’s right. And you… well, let’s just say you weren’t exactly my biggest fan.”
Cillian looked taken aback, a surprised smile curving his lips. “What? I don’t remember it like that.”
“Oh, come on, Cill,” you said, playfully nudging his shoulder. “You kind of hated me."
He laughed, shaking his head. “I didn’t hate you. I just… I guess I had some preconceived notions about you."
“Preconceived notions?” you asked, a teasing glint in your eyes.
He hesitated, looking almost sheepish as he ran a hand through his hair. “Honestly? I thought you were this… I don’t know, shallow, self-absorbed person. Just someone who was there for the attention, you know?”
You let out a mock gasp, placing a hand over your heart in faux offense. “I’m wounded! I can’t believe you thought that about me, really.”
He chuckled, but there was a hint of regret in his voice as he added, “But I was wrong. I figured that out pretty quickly.”
“Oh, really?” you asked, leaning in a little closer, your voice dropping to a flirtatious whisper. “When exactly did you figure that out?”
“The first time we really talked,” he said, his voice equally soft, the words carrying a weight they hadn’t before. “After I saw you in the hall, crying. I don't know. You were so real, and I realized you weren’t what I thought. Not even close.”
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Wow, so I had to have a full-on breakdown just to convince you I wasn’t a shallow, self-absorbed diva? Good to know, Cill. I’ll make sure to cry more often around you.”
He laughed, bringing his fingertips to his lips, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Not quite what I meant, but I guess it did the trick, didn’t it?”
You remembered that night vividly, how everything had seemed to spiral downward so quickly. “I was having the worst night,” you said laughing, a slight bitterness creeping into your tone as the memories resurfaced. “I’d just been dumped by the world’s biggest asshole that morning, and then there you were, tearing down everything I said with some esoteric joke.”
Cillian winced slightly, the regret more pronounced now. “Yeah… I wasn’t exactly charming, was I?”
“You were a bit of a jerk,” you admitted, but there was no malice in your words. “But you made up for it with that burger offer.”
A grin spread across his face as he remembered. “I wasn’t sure you’d say yes.”
“Well, I figured a burger with you was better than sulking alone,” you replied, smiling at the memory. “And it was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was exactly what I needed.”
His expression softened. “I’m glad I asked, then.”
The bartender interrupted your conversation to ask if you wanted another round, and without a second thought, you both nodded in agreement. It seemed neither of you were ready to call it a night. The place was warmer now. As you waited for your drinks, your eyes drifted to the ceiling. Neil Young's "Harvest Moon" played softly in the background, the gentle melody weaving through the low murmur of conversation.
You glanced over your shoulder and noticed that a few couples had begun to dance, swaying gently to the music. There was something so natural, so easy about it, that you couldn’t resist the urge that bubbled up inside you. Turning back to Cillian, who was taking a sip of his drink, you couldn’t help but smile. “Come on,” you said, nudging him playfully with your elbow. “Dance with me.”
Cillian raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and skepticism. He muttered something in reply but you couldn’t quite make it out. It only made you more determined.
“I didn’t catch that,” you teased, leaning in closer as if trying to decipher his words. “But I know what you’re going to say.”
“Oh, do you, piano woman?” he shot back, his tone light but with a challenging edge.
“Yes,” you said, grinning. “You’re going to say that you don’t dance.”
Cillian chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “You’re right about that. I don’t.”
You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a low, persuasive tone. “I know, but you’ll indulge me anyway.”
He hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if weighing his options. Then, with a small, resigned sigh, he downed the rest of his drink in one go and set the glass back on the bar with a decisive thud. Before you could react, he grabbed your hand and stood up, pulling you along with him.
It caught you by surprise, the suddenness of it, especially considering he had just insisted he wasn’t the dancing type. As he led you toward the makeshift dance floor, he leaned in and said with a grin, “You’re lucky I like you.”
You laughed, a loud, genuine sound that felt as freeing as the night itself. “Oh, am I now?”
He smirked, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Yeah, because otherwise, there’s no way I’d be making a fool of myself like this.”
You shot back with a playful, “Well, let’s see just how much of a fool you really are, then.”
As you reached the space where others were already swaying to the music, Cillian took your hand and pulled you in close. You could feel the warmth of his body, the solidity of his frame as he moved with you, the two of you finding a rhythm that was surprisingly in sync. It wasn’t anything fancy—just simple, slow movements to match the easy tempo of the song—but it felt intimate, like you were the only two people in the room.
Cillian leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “Did you know I'm a failed musician?”
You couldn’t help but smirk, the alcohol loosening your tongue.
“Failed, huh? So, what happened? Couldn’t hack it with the rest of us rockstars?”
He chuckled, the sound deep and rich, sending a shiver down your spine. "Something like that. I was in a band, actually."
You leaned back slightly, raising an eyebrow in mock disbelief. “You? In a band? Color me shocked.”
It was kind of hot, imagining him on stage with a guitar in hand.
"We even had a record deal and everything."
"What happened?"
Cillian’s expression softened as he spoke, his voice carrying the weight of nostalgia. “My brother was still in school at the time, and my parents basically told me I could fuck up my life if I wanted, but I couldn’t take him down with me. So, it fell through.”
As you continued to sway together, the story of his past unraveled between you, each word carrying a hint of regret mixed with fond memories. “Those were great times, though,” he continued, his eyes distant as if he were seeing it all again. “I’d be out late, drinking, playing music in small pubs, thinking we were going to make it big. It was a bit of a rush, you know?”
You could imagine him there, young and reckless, with that same intensity in his eyes that he carried now, but wilder, untamed by the years. “So music was your first love, then?” you asked, your voice soft, genuinely curious.
He nodded, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I suppose it was. I had been playing instruments since I was little. There’s something about it that just… gets into your blood. But then, acting came along."
“When exactly did you know that's what you wanted?” you asked, wanting to peel back more layers of him.
His smile turned almost bashful, as if recalling a secret he hadn’t shared in a while. “There was this guy who ran the Cork theater company—had a huge man crush on him. He was brilliant, and I ended up doing a workshop with him. After that, I just pestered him for an audition until he gave in.”
You chuckled softly at the thought of a young Cillian, determined and probably a bit of a nuisance, chasing after something he wanted so badly. “And that was it?”
“Well, there was a drama module in school when I was about 16, 17—during the transition year. That’s when I first got the bug. Ended up starring in A Clockwork Orange. It was sexy, dangerous, unlike anything I’d ever seen. I loved playing someone else, losing myself in the character.”
He paused, then flashed a self-deprecating grin. “There’s not much to look at, but if you give me a minute…"
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his modesty. “You’re selling yourself short,” you teased, leaning in closer, your bodies moving in sync to the music. "Cill, you literally have an Oscar."
“Ah, the Oscar... just a glorified doorstop, really,” he quipped, his tone light but with that familiar undercurrent of humility.
"It's the work that matters, blah blah blah," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully. His eyes were crinkling at the corners with genuine amusement. "Exactly," he agreed, before pulling you into a twirl.
"Do you miss it? you ask, hands circling his neck as you sway. "Music, I mean."
Cillian blew out a slow breath, his eyes growing thoughtful as he considered your question. “Sometimes,” he admitted. "But life has a way of taking you where you need to be, not where you want to be.”
His words settled over you like a blanket, warm and heavy, as you mulled them over. Is this where I need to be? The question echoed in your mind, reverberating through the deeper corners of your thoughts. You weren’t sure you had an answer. You were a successful artist, living the dream so many could only imagine, but there was always that lingering sense of something missing, a quiet ache that you couldn’t quite place.
Where do I need to be?
The thought spiraled, unfurling like an endless thread, pulling at the edges of your consciousness. You started questioning everything—your choices, your path, the very essence of who you were. Those words seemed to tap into something deep inside, a reservoir of doubts and desires that you hadn’t fully acknowledged until now.
“Yeah,” you replied softly, almost like you were talking to yourself more than to him.
You rested your head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you, swaying slowly. See, this is the thing about Cillian, he had a way of making you feel seen and understood, even when you didn't fully understand yourself, even without saying a single word.
The warmth of Cillian's arm around you, the subtle way he moved—it all felt so natural, like this was where you were supposed to be. But then, the memory of four nights ago crept in—the way his breath had hitched as you said you weren't going to stop him from going further, the tension that crackled between you both like a live wire.
The room suddenly felt too small, too warm. Heat flushed through your body, a dizzying sensation that made it hard to focus on anything other than the way he was looking at you. A knot formed in your throat, and you swallowed hard, trying to steady your racing pulse.
The memory was like a current running through you, making you hyper-aware of every point of contact with him. The room suddenly felt too small, too warm. Your mind was swirling with thoughts, the alcohol making you bolder, more aware of the things left unsaid.
"I can't stop thinking about what almost happened the other day."
“What almost happened?”
He let out a low, almost inaudible chuckle, his lips dangerously nuzzled in your hair. “Don’t play coy with me, love. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the heat pooling in your stomach, the way your body reacted to his nearness. “I’ve tried to stop thinking about it,” he continued, his voice a hushed murmur that only you could hear, “but I can’t.”
His words hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken desire. You wanted to let go of the restraint you’d been holding onto all night, but you were still aware of where you were, of the people around you—even if they weren’t paying you any attention. The thought of crossing that line, right here in the middle of the pub, was both thrilling and terrifying.
But Cillian, sensing your hesitation, didn’t push.
Finally, he pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, his expression serious but laced with that familiar smirk. “Wanna head out of here?” he asked, his voice low but with a note of urgency.
You didn’t need to think twice. “Yes,” you breathed, the word escaping your lips before you could stop it.
The night air hit you like a shock to the system as you stepped outside, the cool breeze carrying with it the faint scent of rain. The streets were quieter now, the lively noise of the pub fading into the background. You were drunk, the world tilting slightly with each step, and neither of you could drive.
Cillian pulled out his phone, his fingers deftly dialing the number for a cab. You watched him as he made the call, the way his jaw tensed slightly as he spoke, his voice low and calm despite the alcohol humming through his veins. There was something undeniably attractive about the way he carried himself, even in this moment of mundane practicality.
“What about your car?” you asked, your words slightly slurred but still coherent.
He glanced over at you, a small, reassuring smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’ll pick it up in the morning,” he replied smoothly, his accent curling around the words in that familiar, endearing way. “Don’t worry, love.”
The cab arrived not long after, the headlights cutting through the night as it pulled up to the curb. Cillian opened the door for you, and the two of you slid into the backseat, sitting close together but not touching. Not yet. The space between you crackled with unspoken tension, the thrill of anticipation hanging heavy in the air.
You found yourself playing with your ring-clad fingers, the cool metal a small distraction as the silence stretched out between you. The driver turned up the music a bit, and the opening chords of Inhaler’s "Dublin in Ecstasy" filled the car. The song was somehow fitting, its pulsing beat and haunting lyrics adding to the electric atmosphere.
It started to rain, the droplets tapping against the windows and turning them foggy, adding a sense of intimacy to the small, enclosed space. The outside world became a blur of lights and shadows, the city fading away as the cab sped through the streets. You could feel Cillian’s gaze on you, the weight of it almost tangible as you sat there, both of you lost in your own thoughts.
You turned to look at him, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. The music became more intoxicating, the beat syncing with the rapid thudding of your heart. He noticed you bopping your head slightly to the rhythm, and a small, surprised smile crossed his face.
“You know this?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity.
You smirked, leaning back against the seat as you replied with playful confidence, “I know every song ever made, actually.”
He chuckled, a low, rich sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “Is that so? A human jukebox, then?”
“Something like that,” you teased, the conversation light but charged with something more, something neither of you could ignore any longer.
The cab’s interior felt smaller, more suffocating as you neared your destination. When you finally arrived at his place, Cillian paid the driver, and the two of you got out, raising your jackets over your heads to shield from the rain, which had grown heavier. You both ran to the entrance, your footsteps echoing in the quiet night as you giggled like teenagers, the spontaneity of it all making you feel light, carefree.
He fumbled with his keys for a moment, the sound of metal clinking against metal filling the air before he managed to unlock the door. You stepped inside, the warmth of the house a stark contrast to the chill of the rain outside. The living room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the faint glow of the night sky through the large windows. The shadows played across the walls, casting everything in a soft, almost ethereal light.
You tossed off your jacket, letting it fall to the floor, your clothes clinging to your skin from the rain. You could feel the fabric sticking to your body, the dampness making you shiver slightly, but the heat in the room—and the heat between the two of you—kept you from feeling cold. Cillian wandered off somewhere for a moment, leaving you standing there, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited, the anticipation almost unbearable.
When he returned, his eyes locked onto yours, a predatory glint in his gaze that made your breath hitch. He took a step closer, the distance between you shrinking to almost nothing as he asked, his voice low and laced with a hint of something dangerous, “What should we do now?"
The question hung in the air, heavy with suggestion, and you felt a rush of heat flood through you, your pulse quickening. You moved toward him, your steps slow and deliberate, closing the gap until you were inches away. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you murmured, your voice trembling slightly despite the bravado in your words.
His hand reached up, fingers brushing against your cheek before trailing down to remove a stray piece of hair stuck to your face. His touch was light, almost reverent, but it sent sparks of electricity through your skin, making you feel like you were on fire. His hand continued its path down your arm, and you followed it with your eyes, watching as his fingers traced the outline of your veins, the simple action making your breath catch in your throat.
He moved his hand up to your shoulder, his fingers ghosting over the strap of your top before slowly sliding it down, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Your skin burned under his touch, a mix of desire and something else—something that felt like shame, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It felt too good, too right.
His hand slid up to your neck, his grip firm but not painful as he held you there, your breathing coming in short, ragged gasps. You clung to his black t-shirt, your fingers digging into the fabric as you tried to steady yourself, but the room seemed to spin around you, the intensity of the moment making you dizzy.
Cillian’s eyes bore into yours, his expression dark and filled with an unspoken promise as he whispered, his voice rough and filled with desire, “Tell me what you want.”
You wanted him—every part of him. You wanted to forget everything else, to lose yourself in this moment, to give in to the desire that had been simmering between you for days. And as his grip tightened slightly on your neck, pulling you closer until your lips were just a breath away from his, you knew there was no turning back.
"Kiss me," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
So he did. He kissed you, long and slow. His lips were soft yet urgent, and you melted into his touch. Your hands found their way to his damp hair, tangling in the strands as you deepened the kiss, savoring every moment. His breath mingled with yours, warm and laced with the faint taste of whiskey, his hands still cradling your face as if you were something fragile, something to be cherished.
But then the kiss deepened, the restraint unraveling as the need between you grew too powerful to contain. His hands slid from your face down to your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between your bodies. The kiss became more urgent, more demanding, as if he was trying to consume you, to lose himself in you. You responded in kind, your own hands gripping his t-shirt, pulling him closer, wanting more—needing more. The heat between you intensified, the tenderness giving way to something hotter, something that felt like it had been a long time coming.
The rain continued to patter softly against the windows, a distant sound that seemed to fade into the background as your focus narrowed to just him—to the way his hands gripped your waist, to the way his breath hitched when you bit down softly on his lower lip.
You started moving backward, the need to feel him against you overwhelming any thought of where this might be going. Your feet stumbled slightly as you both moved toward the couch, the dim light from the windows casting your entwined shadows across the floor. He guided you, his hands firm and sure, but there was a tenderness in the way he led you, as if he was still holding back, still trying to keep a grasp on the control that was slipping away.
You reached the edge of the couch, and he paused for a moment, his gaze intense as he looked at you, his chest heaving with the effort to catch his breath. “You're in control here,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, thick with the weight of the question, with the possibility of what was about to happen. "We stop whenever you want to, okay?"
Ever so polite, you thought. You answered him by pulling him down with you, your lips finding his again with a renewed urgency. The cushions gave way beneath you, the soft fabric enveloping you both as you sank into it. His body pressed against yours, the weight of him grounding you.
As the kiss deepened, became more frantic, more desperate, you could feel the tension in him—the barely restrained control he was struggling to maintain. His hands roamed over your body, landing on your jeans and slowly playing with the button, a silent request for permission.
"Don't stop now," you teased, your voice barely audible against his lips. He responded by deepening the kiss even further, his hands moving with purpose as he unbuttoned your jeans. He stopped for a moment, lowering himself to his knees in front of you, his hands taking off your shoes before sliding your jeans down your legs. He positioned himself between your legs once again, kissing you rough this time.
The couch was vast and soft underneath you as one of his hands traveled up your thigh—still not as high as you wanted it. You let out a needy moan, encouraging him. When his fingers brushed against the edge of your already wet panties, you couldn't help but arch your back in anticipation. He pushed them aside, his eyes never leaving yours. When his fingertips made contact with the wetness of your folds, he groaned too, in a way you found very satisfying.
"I've thought about this…a lot," he murmured, slipping a finger inside you, making you gasp with pleasure. "What you might sound like. What you might taste like. What you might feel like."
He pulled away from you swiftly, and you moaned at the loss. He kneeled down in front of you, his gaze intense as he leaned in to kiss your inner thigh, sending shivers down your spine. He pulled down your panties. You went stiff, suddenly aware of how exposed you were. He opened your thighs a little more, as if he wanted to see more. "I want to make you feel good," he whispered. "Let me taste you."
"Yes," you breathed out.
You couldn't stop looking at him as he pleasured you, his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body. Each flick of his tongue and gentle bite made you arch your back in ecstasy, completely lost in the moment. His hands tightened around your thighs, pulling you closer to his face. He groaned in pleasure, and you opened your thighs wider. His tongue was thorough and deliberate, exploring every inch of you with precision. Your hands grabbed the couch cushions, trying to ground yourself as you felt yourself spiraling into pure bliss. And just when you started to roll your hips, he slid two fingers inside you, hitting that perfect spot that made you gasp and moan uncontrollably.
It was too much. Pleasure consumed you as you arched your back violently against his touch and you moaned his name over and over again, letting go. You were drunk on him— his touch, his mouth, his scent—lost in the euphoria of the moment.
"Fuckin' incredible."
Well, yes, fucking incredible indeed. But not as incredible as it would feel to have him inside you completely, filling every inch of you. To reduce him to the whimpering mess he had just turned you into.
Before Cillian could do anything, you sat up and pushed him flat to the floor. You were both drunk and too eager to make it to the bedroom, so you might as well just do it right there on the living room rug.
He grunted in surprise, but his hands quickly found their way to your hips as you straddled him, pulling you closer. You removed your top, your breasts spilling out as you leaned down to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. His fingers gently tangle in your hair as you pull away from his mouth, pulling his black t-shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
He stopped breathing as you worked your way down his chest, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles until you reached the waistband of his jeans. Your hands made quick work of the button and zipper, and you eagerly slid them down his legs, revealing his growing arousal.
When your fingers wrapped around it—fuck—his skin felt hot and smooth against your touch, his breath hitching. You positioned yourself to take him in your mouth, savoring the taste of his desire as you licked a slow, teasing path along his cock. Cillian let out a ragged moan, his hands tangling in your hair.
You lifted your eyes. He had propped himself up on his elbows, watching you with his lips parted, pupils blown.
You had him.
You took him deeper, relishing the way he arched into your mouth, his groans spurring you on. With each flick of your tongue, you could feel him losing control, surrendering to the pleasure you were giving him. "Fuck, stop," he gasped, his voice strained with need. "I need to be inside you."
“Condom?” you asked, the question hanging in the thick air between you.
“Upstairs,” he said, his voice rough, almost pleading.
You hesitated for just a second. “I don’t mind… if you don’t.”
For a moment, he froze, his blue eyes darkening as they searched yours, as if to make sure he’d heard you right. Then, with a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, he nodded.
You released him with a smirk and sat up, swung over him. You positioned yourself so that his hands were on your hips, guiding you down onto him. The anticipation was electric, every nerve in your body alive with the need to be closer to him, to feel him, completely and without anything between you.
As you sank onto him, his eyes rolled back in ecstasy, a low moan escaping from both of you. The feeling of being filled by him sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a fire between you that burned hotter with each thrust. Your hands clutched at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as you matched his rhythm, lost in the intensity of the moment.
This was going to end you.
His movements became more urgent, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered your name. The room was filled with the sound of your mingled gasps and moans, a symphony of pleasure that seemed to echo off the walls. He felt so good, so right. His thrusts became more deep and harsh—you wanted even more. As if he read your mind, he sat up against the couch and kissed you deeply, his hands gripping your hips tightly.
"Bloody hell," he murmured against your lips, both his hands grabbed your face as he looked deeply into your eyes, and you circled your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and circling your hips in rhythm with his. Your breasts pressed against his chest, the heat between you both rising as your bodies moved in perfect synchronization. He was close—you were close. His hands roamed your back, your ass, and your breasts, and you threw your head back when his mouth found its way to your nipples.
"Oh fuck," you gasped, "Yes, oh—" you screamed as white-hot pleasure shot through your body, causing you both to reach the peak of ecstasy together. You felt his cock swell, filling you completely as he released with a guttural groan.
The intensity of the moment left you both breathless, bodies entwined in a tangled mess of limbs and sweat. He had leaned back to the floor, and you had gone with him. He was rubbing your back, and your face was pressed to his chest.
"You okay, love?" he asked softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your skin. You hummed, feeling content and safe in his arms, basking in the afterglow of your shared pleasure.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath you, the quiet rhythm of his breathing syncing with yours. His fingers kept tracing those gentle patterns on your back, grounding you, reminding you that you were still here, still connected. The afterglow wrapped around you both, a warmth that made you feel safe, cherished. You could still feel him inside you.
“How bad would it be if we just stayed here?” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking louder might shatter the moment. There was a part of you that didn’t want to move, didn’t want to break the spell.
He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest, and you could feel the rumble against your cheek. “Well, love,” he said, his voice laced with amusement, “I’m not sure how comfortable the floor will be in about twenty minutes, but I’d say it’s worth a try if you are.”
You laughed, the sound light and free. “Fair point,” you conceded, shifting slightly to look up at him. His eyes were warm, a little teasing, but there was an underlying tenderness that made your heart skip a beat.
“Come on,” he said gently, his hands sliding down your sides as he carefully helped you up. “Let’s get cleaned up. I promise the bed is much more inviting.”
He rose to his feet, extending a hand to help you up. You accepted, your legs feeling a little shaky as you stood, still a bit lightheaded from everything that had just happened. His hands lingered on your hips, steadying you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the care in his touch.
Together, you made your way upstairs, his arm draped around your shoulders as he guided you toward his bedroom. The space was warm, cozy, with a lived-in feel that made it undeniably his. The bed was unmade, sheets rumpled, as if he’d just gotten out of it before coming to find you.
He led you to the bathroom, where the soft glow of a single light illuminated the space. He turned on the shower, testing the water temperature before gesturing for you to step inside. You did, letting the hot water cascade over you, washing away the remnants of the night, though the memory of it clung to your skin. He joined you a moment later, his hands gentle as he helped you rinse off, his touch tender, almost reverent. You stood under the water together, letting the steam envelope you both.
When you were both clean, he handed you a towel, wrapping another around his waist. He left the bathroom for a moment and returned with a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, offering them to you.
“Here,” he said with a soft smile. “This will do.”
You took the clothes, slipping them on. The fabric was soft, worn in, and it smelled like him—woodsy, with a hint of something earthy and warm. You found yourself breathing it in, the scent comforting in a way you hadn’t expected.
When you were both dressed, he led you to the bed, pulling back the covers and slipping in beside you. He held the blanket up for you, and you slid in next to him, the cool sheets a welcome contrast to the warmth of his body. He immediately pulled you close, his arm wrapping around your waist as you nestled into his side, your head resting on his chest once more.
The room was dark, but the faint light from outside filtered in through the curtains, casting soft shadows across the walls. You could hear the rain still pattering against the window, a soothing backdrop to the quiet intimacy between you. His hand found yours under the covers, fingers intertwining as he held you close, his breath warm against your forehead. You could feel his heartbeat under your palm, steady and reassuring, and it lulled you into a state of deep relaxation.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but you knew he heard you. You don't know for what exactly you were thanking him, but it felt like the right thing to say in that moment.
He responded with a gentle squeeze of your hand, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your hair.
You didn’t need to say anything more. The silence between you was comfortable, filled with unspoken understanding. You both knew that tonight had changed something between you, something profound and unnameable, but for now, it was enough to just be here, together.
a/n: there you have it, i hope you guys liked it!! please like, reblog and comment. i wanna hear your thoughts! and as always, thank you for the support <3
#cillian murphy fic#cillian murphy imagine#cillian x fem!reader#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian murphy smut#cillian x reader#cillian x y/n#cillian fic#cillian murphy fluff#cillian murphy fanfic#cillian murphy x reader#my writing
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SwapOut/Webcomic/Twitch PSA!
Hi everyone 👋🏻 Zk here >< or Cats, for older followers
So I've been getting back into doing SwapOut again, but I would like to appeal to everyone who reads and loves the comic. Much love to all of you who's still sticking around 🙏🏻💙 But something has also always been bothering me throughout this journey.
As many of us know, we artists do these comics for free (especially fan comics), starting them out of love and taking a LOT of time and energy out of our lives to continue making them.
And it's amazing how many of you come from translations or comic dubs on Youtube, which are also very well-done and take a lot of effort to make, much love to them too. There is a difference, however.
Monetization.
And I'm not asking for pity! I'm appealing for understanding.
Because some comic dubbers on Youtube are able to earn ad revenue from the videos they upload. From the beginning, we artists have given them the permission to dub our works. But we don't receive anything from it, nor do we usually charge them for using our art (against our better judgement).
We let them use our comic pages in their monetized videos for free. And occasionally these videos receive thousands and millions of views, which I imagine gives a decent amount of ad revenue, while the artists themselves don't usually earn anything from their own artwork, nor do we ever want to put it behind a paywall of any kind. (we like reading free comics too so don't worry x|)
... But doing full-colored comic pages for free eventually gets hard to sustain without any income from it, even more so when we need to give our time and energy to other jobs to earn money for a living instead. We legitimately keep going on our comics purely out of love. Truly, we would LOVE to do our own art for a living. There's things like Patreon but it's only feasible if we're also able to produce bonus content or show BTS, and only people willing to spend money for them can help us, and not readers who aren't able to.
And we understand that not everyone can afford to support us monetarily. And that's okay!
But if you love these comics and want to really help us to keep going, there ARE ways you can easily support us for free!
For example, affiliates on Twitch (like myself) are able to earn ad revenue very early on (they must have at least 50 followers, quite a requirement, but still easier to obtain than Youtube's 1000 subscribers).
(my Youtube, btw. not much rn but drop a subscribe?)
But simply put, if the vast majority of readers from the yt numbers visit and stay for ads on the artists' Twitch streams (remember to have adblocker disabled for the site, if any), they'll be making an actual, physical contribution to the artist themselves, at no cost whatsoever. We earn up to 55% from any ads that run on our stream, so the more viewers, the better!
(this is my twitch on average 8 viewers, with a 3 hour stream. again, the more the better!)
(ofc you can also buy subs to watch ad-free and supports me directly, but i'm typing all this to share the free ways people can support their fave creators ✨)
And even if that doesn't work out, I'd be happy enough to see most of you there 🙏🏻💙 I've been treating my streams as work, so I'm striving not to break the streak.
So drop a follow on my Twitch, and catch the streams when you can! They're great if you need company or background noise, and also great for co-working~
Currently streaming WEEKLY, Mondays, Wednesdays (SwapOut) and Saturdays, 10.30AM EST
(art by @cupcakepaints)
>> twitch.tv/zkcats <<
Anyway thanks for listening to my Ted talk, please share this around for others as well >< 🙏🏻 Artists, make this a reblog chain or something! Promo your stuff!
And apologies for the essay, I wasn't expecting to type this much sdghsgh this itself is not an ad for Twitch or whatev, I'm just a little frustrated with needing to juggle all this.
I was also considering hosting SwapOut somewhere that could get ad revenue, but I wasn't sure where until I realized I can probably earn that from my Tapas now (i think?? sdfhgh up to 70% ad revenue there but i haven't seen any yet) So maybe I'll post there a day earlier than here or something? We'll see. Go subscribe there! Check it out! Reread it! Help ME help YOU!
... Much appreciated ><
#catschats#undertale#webcomic#swapoutcomicupdate#typed this out mostly for people who aren't aware that ads support streamers etc.#im super tired now wheezee but im living
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HOLY SHIT THE OT6 KINKS?? JAKE??? TICKLING??? PLEASE I NEED MORE OF THIS IM BEGGING - <3
For some reason I don’t think Jake is that well-versed in the kink world so everything he likes he figured out through his own experimentation. Tickle kink is no different me thinks…
(smut below the cut, minors DNI)
Jake has always been super clingy with you. He loves to cuddle and hold your hand and play wrestle so I think this kinda came naturally. Maybe one day you had to leave but he really didn’t want you to so he lays on top of you with his full body weight. He nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck as he whines out “please don’t leave, y/n.”. You can’t help but giggle because his breath on your skin tickles!! You tell him this, that your neck is really sensitive as you bat him away and it unleashes a beast in him. “Oh you mean here?” He whispers in your ear with a cheeky grin before blowing cool air at the side column of your neck. It has you shying away and squirming in his hold and he has to bite back a moan. It’s obvious he is affected by this though, you can feel the way he is filling out in his lounge shorts.
“I don’t have time to suck you off, I really have to be on time!” You lightly scold him when he grinds his half-hard dick against your thighs. It makes him whine about you being unfair, and when you laugh back “how am I being unfair, I didn’t even do anything” as you finally escape his hold, he turns bright red and shyly mumbles out some bullshit excuse. He honestly doesn’t know what about this specific interaction turned him on either. While he finds your irresistibly hot, he can’t help but think it has something to do with the fact that your giggles are still ringing in his ears.
About a thousand kisses later, you are finally out the door, and Jake is back in bed tugging on his hard cock and thinking about how precious you sounded when you laughed and how cute you looked squirming underneath him :(
It just progresses from there. You wonder why he has you in missionary so often, but it’s just so he has ample access to your body. He hands seems to be glued to your torso, his mouth to your neck. And god, he never stops running his mouth. “You like that baby? You like when I fuck you like this?” with each sentence punctuated by sharp thrusts. The feeling of his hands and the whispers into your ear and his thick cock leave you torn between lust and squeamish pleasure, ripping laughter out of your chest. God that’s what he wanted to hear. He cums impossibly hard, pulling out to paint your tummy with jizz. Uncharacteristic for a man that loves to cum inside, but it all makes sense when he leans down to lick his own finish off your skin. You squeal and laugh again, but he doesn’t stop until he is facing your cunt and his tongue is lapping at your clit. Makes you finish in his mouth, still tickling at your sides while you squirm.
a/n: tbh honest I don’t know much about this, so let me know if I missed the mark!! Last post for the night before I retire :3 reblogs are appreciated xx - princess
taglist : @sunoofairyofsass @cha0thicpisces (dm or fill out form to be added to taglist)
#enhypen reactions#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard hours#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen smut#jake smut#jake x reader#jake enhypen#jake enhypen x reader#jake x y/n#enhypen x y/n#enhypen requests#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen#enha x y/n#enha smut#enha reactions#enha x reader#enha scenarios#enha imagines#enha#requests for sunoo’s princess!!#xxsunoosprincess
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If Cosmere Characters Were on Tumblr...
Sure, we blog about Cosmere characters. But what if they were here, blogging for themselves? Here is what I think it might be like...
1. Dalinar: Never changes the default icon
He gets blocked a lot.
Dalinar: How odd. No matter how many blogs I follow, my “dashboard” remains empty.
Renarin: I think they all blocked you because they think you’re a bot.
Dalinar: A bot? But I took your advice and chose a unique blog name: Big_D9762.
Renarin: ...
Dalinar: What?
2. Jasnah: Acts like Neil Gaiman
She comes on tumblr as a break from doing research and ruling, answers a few questions, and leaves again.
Anonymous asked: I love your work breaking down gender barriers in Alethkar by being queen and stuff! Do you plan to further erode unnecessary gender distinctions, like by letting women eat spicy food and show both hands?
Jasnah-Kholin: Wait and See.
3. Vin: Reblogs a thousand things in a mad fury and then disappears for days
She does not use the queue function.
Vin: Yeah...I don’t fuck with the the queue function. If you see me, you see me.
Elend: Hey Vin, did you reblog the crab rave like 15 times in a row?
Vin: I was feeling it.
4. Elend: Has a carefully curated queue
His “queue” tag is “Vin is a queue-T.”
Elend: The only exception I make are donation posts and political ones, since those need to be reblogged immediately.
Elend: But otherwise, the queue function is great for lovely, regular content!
5. Adolin: Runs a fashion blog
He has ALL of the Rosharan runways.
Adolin: It’s easy to let Alethi fashion dominate, but a REAL fashion blogger makes sure to have a wide variety of nations and fashions.
6. Shallan: Posts her art
And she tries not to be frustrated when her quick Kaladin sketch gets tons more notes than her very detailed sketch of the chasmfiend.
Shallan: It’s like, I get it--Kaladin fan art is ALWAYS popular.
Shallan: But that chasmfiend was very detailed!
Adolin: Maybe you should draw Kaladin riding it.
Adolin: Shirtless.
Shallan: ...
Shallan: I’ll take my three notes, thank you very much.
7. Tien: Always reblogs no-note art posts
And he always leaves a nice comment too!
Tien: The colors in this are so lovely!!
8. Navani: Considers herself a tumblr patron
She’s one of those bloggers who, if she reblogs your post, you know you’re about to make it big.
Navani: I don’t really make original posts, of course. I’m not a real blogger.
Navani: I just find other people’s clever posts and help promote them!
Navani (typing): "This...has...10,000...notes...to...me...”
Navani: You know they’re happy when they just respond “PLEASE NO”
9. Kelsier: Stirs up his followers with so. much. discourse.
Especially about Hoid.
Kelsier: Friendly reminder that Hoid (1) will let a planet burn to get what he wants; (2) beat up an innocent ghost (me) once; (3) is dating someone WAY younger than he is; (4) insults women.
Hoid: I insulted men too. I was the King’s Wit.
Kelsier: I’m adding you to my DNI.
10. Szeth: Very popular for his “shit posts”
Szeth, of course, is 100% sincere the entire time.
Szeth: It is odd.
Szeth: The vent post I made that simply said “my talking sword is a bad conversationalist” has like a million notes.
Szeth: ...
Szeth: Tumblr is a strange place.
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Swipe (Lucifer Morningstar x reader) Preview
This is a preview of my WIP fanfic for Lucifer, it’s a three parter and this is a small about of part 1, since it’s still a WIP it’s not yet proof read :) Description: after his divorce, he finally gets back into the dating game…through a dating app :)
Please note I’m writing this before the release of ep7 and ep8 so-
Takes place between ep 5 and right before ep 6
I wrote nearly 98% of this at like 3 AM-
Warning: Lucifer being a dork, Lucifer being a dorky dad, age gap(reader died at like 25 and Lucifer is like a good few thousands years old so), talk of divorce, Charlie being a supportive daughter, I’ve never used a dating apps so i might get info wrong, Lucifer doesn’t know modern day technology or slang, lying
⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧
Lucifer’s POV
“Charlie, are you sure about this?” I ask still hesitant, I knew Charlie just wanted to help and had the best intentions, but a dating app? “Of course!” Charlie exclaimed, face lite up. “It’s perfect! You get to meet people without the face to face interactions!” Charlie said downloading the app, viva by Voxtech.
Charlie’s was more excited than I was, I wanted to meet people but an app? I can’t help but feel my heart race and my body get heavy, why was I this nervous. In the middle of my overthinking Charlie handed me the phone, it had a profile made it had my name and many details. It felt like I was giving it to all 9 rings of hell! “Ok! How we gotta add some photos an-“
“Charlie!”
We both turned are head to see Alastor and Vaggie standing there. “Can you help with something real quick?” Vaggie ask seeming annoyed. “Of course!” Charlie’s called back before as standing up. “You go ahead and add those photos dad I’ll be back!” Charlie said as she ran to the two, leaving me alone on the couch staring at the screen.
I read over the info and it all was so…personal. How would anyone be comfortable putting this much out? I Don’t get me started with being the King of Hell it’s self, then an idea popped in my head. I turn my head slightly to see Charlie still talking to the pair so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I added photos of my duck inventions and made a duck with a white top hat as my ‘icon’. Now onto the name, Lucifer was too out there everyone would know, think! L names that are similar.
Lucifer..
Luci…
Luc…
Luca..
Luca! I instantly think changing the name quickly, removing the last name from the profile along with it. After that it looked like a normal profile. When I finished and satisfied with it Charlie was walking back over. “Sorry bout that dad! Now back to w-.” While she was speaking I shove my phone in my pocket and stand up. “No it’s fine! I set it up!” I nearly screamed it out as I stood from the couch. Charlie stared at me shock for a moment before her normal bright smile returned to her face. “Wow that’s great!” She said as she walked over “Look at you getting the hang of technology!” Charlie said happily. I didn’t know why I was so nervous by an app, but it was on my mind. After finishing talking to Charlie I was able to leave, soon I was back in my bedroom. I let out a sigh and feel onto the massive bed and pulled out my phone, Viva still open.
Y/N POV
Left..Left..Left..
God this app was a never ending app of swiping left on people wanting hook-ups was tiring. This was the last time I’d take F/N advice and use a dating app, the fact they exist in hell was already surprising. It was nude after nude of people looking for a hookup. Then something different popped up, instead of the naked body I almost have gotten used to, I was greeted by a rubber duck with a white top hat. My eyes widen a bit as I layed there I swipped to look at the second photo, more ducks. I then moved and read the bio. “Luca..” I said quietly to myself reading the short info. I looked at the photos and the bio, it stood out in the sea of profile, i stair a while longer…
…Right.
#x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar x reader#Lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar x you
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HII this is the first time I ask one of this request and I would love if you could write this idea that’s been on my mind:3 and sorry if it is too specific but I was thinking of an Alastor x reader inspired on the chapter masquerade from dangerously yours??(only if you know it of course I don’t want to bother you😭)
basically the reader is an angel undercover to spy on the guys of the hotel and their plan for the extermination and the only one who knew this was alastor, but he didn’t say anything since he found her interesting and knew she wouldn’t be a threat if he had her under his watch!! but this changes when they started talking, getting closer to each other to the point he almost forgets why she’s here and what she really is,, but they’re so in love and doesn’t doubt of the feelings she has for him either to care😭
BUT when she(the reader) discovers he knew it all along she doesn’t have another choice but to kill him with an angelic weapon, and Alastor starts rambling about how she wouldn’t do it because she loves him and that kkwjzkxbdk
sorry if it’s too confusing english its not my first language so I tried my best😭😭 feel free to ignore it if you want to!!
A/N I am not sure what Dangerously yours is but I liked this idea and did something with it anyways. I hope that is okay :) Also I know I deviated from the prompt a bit, if you want I can do another.
Masquerade (Alastor x Angel!Exorcist!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Adam. Angst. I think that is it, please correct me if I am wrong.
Word Count: 1,616
Master Lists:
Master Lists
Hazbin Hotel Master List
Alastor Master List
Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.
"I want you down there."
Adam was picking at his teeth with the nail of his pinky finger, not even bothering to look at Y/n as he spoke.
"You what?" she shook her head, aghast at the idea, "Sir, do you really think that is such a good idea?"
"Yeah, that's why I am ordering you to do it?" Adam raised his eyebrows, his eyes meeting Y/n's as he leaned slightly across the table towards her, "I want everything: their plans, their intel, their... fuck, I don't know, their deepest darkest secrets. Just bring me whatever bullshit you're able to find."
"But sir, what if they find out? What if I get caught?"
"Then I'll send someone else to replace you."
His words sent a shiver down her spine. This was the life of an exorcist. Hardened, because they had to be. Afraid because there was no chance of beating their leader. Utterly disposable because there were thousands more of them to be had.
"But sir... I've really never been a good liar and... and..."
"And.. And..." Adam mocked, rolling his eyes, "Get over yourself, bitch! Pack your bags, you leave in ten."
That was how Y/n ended up where she was now, in disguise as a guest at the Hazbin Hotel. It had been scary at first. All she knew about demons was what she had been told, that they were vile, that they were filth. It came as a surprise when she also learned how kind they could be.
Alastor had known from the first moment he met her. It was the defensiveness that did it. That, and that she positively reeked of purity. When Y/n had come knocking on the door to the hotel, there hadn't been a single doubt in his mind about her true nature. Always on the hunt for a good show, he had decided to let it lie. He figured any trouble that would come of this was something he could deal with, that he would keep an eye on the little potential trouble maker. There was a certain pride that rose in his chest at the self proclaimed role of protector, he took the oath very seriously.
At first, Y/n had been reticent, suspicious. She seemed to be in a constant state of running in to Alastor and that set her on edge. He always played it off, was always kind and polite but with the years of learned behavior at her back, Y/n was slow to trust.
It happened that as she grew more comfortable at the hotel and its ragtag group of inhabitants, she also became more comfortable with Alastor. What had started off as little more than formality soon turned into her stopping to talk to him when their paths crossed, even bringing him treats she baked when he wasn't down in the kitchen to enjoy them with the rest of the crew.
It wasn't on purpose. Alastor didn't do a lot that wasn't on purpose. The more time he spent with the angel in disguise, the more he fell victim to her innocent charms. She was excitable, she looked at the world through new eyes. When he walked the well worn streets of Pentagram City by her side, it nearly felt like he was experiencing them for the first time again. There was something desirable in her sense of wonder.
Slowly distrust became friendship and friendship became something else. It was an unspoken bond of shared glances and secret smiles. No one ever talked about the way they would be looking everywhere around the hotel for one of the pair only to find them holed up together in some discrete corner listening to music and chattering away. The worst kept secret in all of Hell. Everyone saw how close they stood, how their hands brushed lightly when they walked side by side.
Y/n knew it was wrong, could feel it in her gut. The guilt ate away at her and still, she was unable to keep herself from indulging. He was magnetic, kinder than she ever could have expected and with an eye for the dramatic which she just adored. On that first night he kissed her, on the balcony beneath the false stars, she felt her divinity begin to slip.
It was a careful dance, a well strategized game of chance. They never said the words, they didn't need to. They both knew the truth, Alastor from Y/n's inability to be anything other than genuine in her joy and Y/n through the fact that Alastor seemed to avoid all forms of intimacy - emotional or otherwise - with anyone save her. She felt like she was drowning but she didn't care. She relished the embrace, the first true kindness she had felt since being forced into the ranks of Adam's army all those years before.
The weight of the lie was heavy on her shoulders, bearing down on her more and more with each passing day. With every soft smile, every hand hold, she felt the mask crack a bit more. Secrets had never been an issue for Alastor on the other hand. He expected to find joy in her slipping facade, some sense of satisfaction in the idea that while his remained strong her's was slipping. Instead, there was only worry. That was when he realized it wasn't a game anymore, it was reality and he was done for.
The line of the tightrope was thin, they both clung to it. Nothing good lasts forever and both knew, eventually, they were doomed to fall.
It happened by accident. Alastor had figured he had at least until the next extermination to make a plan, as did Y/n. Fate had other plans.
"My dear!" Alastor hummed jovially as he materialized in Y/n's room, "Your fellow guests are waiting in the lobby."
It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to just appear, Y/n was used to it by now. He was a man of routine and she knew his schedule, worked her own reports in carefully around it. She should have been suspicious of how well things were going, should have seen the doomed end creeping closer by the minute.
She froze, the portal open before her spinning gold sparks into the room as it framed Adam's face. His eyes flicked to Alastor and then to Y/n. Her eyes stayed stuck on the Radio Demon, grief winding its way through her lashes.
"Oops!" Adam laughed, "Wrong place wrong time, dick for brains."
Either way, it was a lose lose situation. Both Y/n and Alastor saw it. He killed her, she killed him, she didn't kill him and was ousted from heaven or killed by Adam, he didn't kill her and Charlie lost all trust in him. There was one faint future, glimmering with potential, where everything worked out. Y/n saw it in the idea of tricking Adam into having gotten Alastor on her side working against the hotel. Alastor saw it in Y/n falling and the perpetually kind hearted princess of Hell, Charlie, taking her in.
Y/n's sharp intake of breath sent shiver's down Alastor's spine. He watched her carefully, microphone in hand.
"Well?" Adam groaned in irritation, "Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna kill him?"
Her gaze shifted to Adam momentarily, her mask gone and her expression conflicted. She was looking to him for an option, for a way out. Adam gave no such reprieve and she returned to Alastor, her eyes widening in sudden realization of the essence of their situation.
The man in question had made no move to attack. It revealed everything, she took a trembling step towards him.
"You knew?"
The question was soft as rose petals, quiet enough so Adam couldn't quite make out what she had said. Alastor gave a subtle nod.
"God, Lute was right. You are a pathetic little brat, aren't you. Finish. The. Job."
Another furtive glance thrown between the two men and Y/n transformed. Wings sprouted from her back, her demon features fading into nothing as a black halo materialized above her head. Spear in hand, breaths shallow and constant, she turned her anxious eyes and spear to Alastor.
He was blinded, she was beautiful. Alastor had always found her attractive but something about seeing this true nature of hers, the face behind the mask, made him breathless. His mind reeled, he felt only he should return the favor but feared she would mistake it as aggression.
Please.
Her lips formed the word though no voice left her chest.
Run.
Alastor shook his head the slightest bit. Tears began to well in Y/n's vibrant eyes. Stuck between Heaven and Hell, divinity and desolation, love and war. She took a step forward. Y/n's wings splayed out behind her, a fitting backdrop to her inhuman beauty of the moment.
"Get it over with." Adam spat.
She begged him with everything but words. She wanted to do anything. To run, to hide, to lash out, to kill her instead. Alastor just stood there. He let his microphone disintegrate into the air.
He couldn't comprehend what he was doing, what force was driving him to look his much avoided double death head on without fear. Regardless of his confusion, he was undeterred. He spread his arms slightly to the sides, feeling his second form begging for control. He could feel the horns sprouting, the heat from the aiming light of the gun on his brow.
Y/n's expression only became more pained. Taking a deep, stuttering breath, she drew her weapon back.
"I'm so sorry."
----
Tags:
@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0 @kahlan170
#hazbin hotel#x reader#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#alastor x angel!reader#alastor x angel reader#alastor x exorcist reader#x angel reader#angst#request#hazbin hotel x y/n#adam hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#the radio demon x reader#radio demon x reader#the radio demon#radio demon#alastor x y/n#alastor x you
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I love you, it's ruining my life | Part IV
pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader
word count: 6.2k
part one, part two, part three
A/N: as always, please let me know what you think in my inbox <3 Like this post if you'd like to be added to my taglist.
IV. Summer 2023 through Spring 2024
July 2023
“Tic Tac!” The man on the TV had wide, and quite frankly, manic-looking eyes. “Tic Tac!”
Kylian quickly grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, releasing a sigh of relief at the ensuing silence. It was all noise these days, the minute he turned on the TV, or opened Twitter and Instagram, or even glanced at a newspaper. His name in big bold capital letters, in a headline that almost always contained the words “leaving” or “staying”. Everyone wanted to know. The paparazzi stalked his every move, yelling out the million dollar question to him any chance they got – “Kylian, are you leaving PSG?” as if he’d respond to them. People on twitter tracked his flights, trying to see if any of the planes he boarded were headed to Madrid. Self- proclaimed insider journalists went viral on social media with their ‘scoops’, causing a flurry of conversation, and depending on which day it was and which side you were on, either joy or sadness. Turtle emojis haunted his dreams, and now, thanks to the Spanish TV channel he’d accidentally come across, so would the words ‘tic tac’.
He was a good sport about it, most times. But at times it was all too much. Like today. He’d spent the majority of it in a meeting with his mother and legal team, discussing PSG negotiation strategies. Then he’d come home to take an afternoon nap, only to be woken up by his lawyer calling him to deliver the news: PSG had frozen him out of the first team. He’d proceeded to go to his living room and open the TV, mindlessly scrolling through the channels, happy to not just think for a couple of minutes, to let the disbelief and anger marinate inside him until he could express it at a later time . But that was all gone when he happened upon the Tic Tac man, who apparently hosted a show that was dedicated to the Mbappe - Real Madrid Saga. Now it was back to stressing about his present, and his future.
Truthfully, everything had started unraveling the day he’d royally fucked everything up with Y/N, back in December. The heartbreak he’d felt had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, so all encompassing that it had left him at a loss of equilibrium. It shook him to his core. He didn’t just lose the girl he loved, he lost his best friend too. He’d decided to pour everything he had into football, and he’d quite literally been rewarded for it when he’d become PSG’s top goalscorer. He felt happiness he hadn’t felt in a long while when he stood there in the stadium that evening, thousands cheering him on as he held up the trophy. But then all of it had dissipated back in his apartment, his friends and family gone after a night of celebration, the golden 201 staring at him from his trophy cabinet. What good was any of it if he couldn’t call and share his joy with the person who mattered to him the most? He’d felt incredibly lonely then, more lonely than when he was just 14 alone in the Monaco academy for the very first time. Y/N had left a big, wide hole in his life, and no matter how he tried to forget it, it was still there.
His phone, which he had carelessly tossed across the couch, started to vibrate. It was his mother, probably calling to check on him, maybe offer some words of comfort. He ignored it. He didn’t want to speak to anyone at the moment; He didn’t have the energy to pretend he was ok, , to feign acceptance of his uncertain future and Y/N’s absence from his life. Instead, he headed to the fridge and grabbed a rare beer. He wasn’t going to be playing professional football anytime soon , so who cared how much carbs he consumed?
He watched his phone continue to vibrate as he took a gulp of beer. It periodically flashed different names: his parents, his brothers, his sister in law, Tchaga. He was happy to ignore all of them in favor of wallowing in his sadness. It went on like that for an hour or so, his phone occasionally lighting up with someone calling as he sunk deeper into his misery. Then, a name appeared on the screen that made him almost choke on his beer.
He quickly grabbed the phone and answered. “Hello?”
“Hi” Y/N’s voice was tentative, almost shy. “Are you okay, Kylian?”
“Yeah” He managed to keep his voice steady. “Yeah, I’m okay”
“Are you sure?” her voice was tinted with concern. “It’s all over the news here. Plus, your mom is worried, said you’re not picking up your phone”
He winced. “ Don’t mind her, It's probably all the stress from the negotiations taking a toll”
“And you?”
“And me what?” he asked.
“Is it taking a toll on you?” She clarified
“No, I’m good” he said defensively. “I’m great, actually”
His beer bottle that had been teetering on the edge of his coffee table suddenly tumbled down and crashed to the floor.
He cursed. “Sorry, my beer just went everywhere…”
“Beer?” She sounded surprised. “You don’t drink beer. Especially so close to the season starting”
He sighed. “Y/N, we haven’t spoken in more than 6 months. Since you fucking broke my heart, mind you. I don’t think you can confidently say you know me anymore”
“Harsh” She replied. “But maybe deserved”
He heard shuffling at the other end, and the unmistakable sound of a cat’s meow. “Is that a cat?” he asked.
“Yup. I adopted one about a month ago” she replied. “Her name is Luna”
He snorted. “Half the cats in the world are named Luna. Couldn’t you be a little original?”
“Shut up” She chuckled, then paused. “And I still know you well, by the way”
“Mmm?” He was searching for a broom and dustpan to clean up the beer bottle mess. He couldn’t find them anywhere. He was shamefully clueless about this stuff, seeing as he had a cleaning person come take care of things like that.
“Yeah. I can bet my salary you’re looking for something to clean up your mess with but you can’t find it” The sound of her giggle made his heart skip a beat.
Kylian smiled in spite of himself and muttered “Fuck you” under his breath.
He finally found the broom and dustpan.
“You know what else I can bet?” Her tone softened, turned more serious. “I can bet that the Kylian I know wouldn’t let this type of stuff get to him. No matter what pressure he’s put under, no matter what they say. He’d just let his football speak for itself”
“Yeah well, they’re not even letting me play football. That’s the issue. It’s either renew my contract or I won't play a single minute this season. And that’s a problem, Y/N. Because if I don’t play, then It means I start getting out of form. And I can’t have that. There’s too much on the line. The Euros next summer, and then maybe the Olympics…” He’d swooped up all the broken glass carefully and was now wiping the excess beer. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone”
“What about… What about here?”
He knew ‘here’ meant Madrid, but the way she said it made it sound like ‘here’ was more personal. For a moment he imagined a world where they were together, a world where he’d be able to find solace with her – in her city, her apartment, her bed. He quickly dismissed that thought before it could hurt him.
“I want to finish my PSG contract first” It was a line that almost felt robotic the number of times he uttered it to the press, but it was still true.
“In any case, I don’t think you should worry too much, Kylian. You have great lawyers, great people behind you. They’ll figure it out” Her voice was comforting, and for the first time, he believed those words that had been told to him by friends and family countless times.
The door to his apartment rattled just then, and he cringed. The timing couldn’t be worse. He disposed of the glass as he heard the door unlock from the other side, and then the sound of clicking heels approaching.
“Kyky, are you okay?” She asked, just as she came into view. “You didn’t pick up when I called”
She saw that he was on the phone, and Kylian was about to open his mouth to explain when she whispered “Is that Fayza?”
He didn’t know what possessed him to lie, but he did. He nodded a yes.
She gave an understanding nod, before motioning that she was headed towards his bedroom. Kylian watched as she went up the stairs, overnight bag in one hand and the sound of her heels echoing.
A brief silence, and then, “Who was that?” from the other end of the phone.
“You remember Sophia from Monaco? She lives in Paris now” Why did it feel like he was delivering bad news? She was the one that had left him heartbroken. “And we’re dating”
“Dating dating or are you still just hooking up?” Her voice was unreadable.
“No, we’re dating. Shocker, but I’m actually capable of being in a relationship”
“Why did she move to Paris?” She ignored his pointed jab. “What does she even do now?”
“She’s a model”
She snorted. “ There it is”
He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That’s your usual type, no?”
He rolled his eyes. “Not really. My type was you. Just you. You thought I was using you for sex, though. That’s why we didn’t work out right?”
“Well—”
“But yeah, she is a model” He ignored her, not wanting to prod his own open wound. “Not all of us can be super smart, saving people’s lives…”
“I don’t save lives” She pointed out. “At least not directly. I’m in nonprofit work, remember?”
He did remember. He knew everything about her, admired and cherished every single detail. Yet, she wasn’t his. He’d gotten close; those 10 days after his birthday were the best of his life. But she ran away. And maybe it was his fault. It was a thought that haunted him till this day. Maybe I should have been more forward. Told her how I felt. Told her I love you.
He cleared his throat. “You know, we’re doing an event next week for the kids in my foundation. About getting into STEM fields.”
“I know” She responded. “I’m going to be there”
“What?” He couldn’t hide his surprise.
“Yeah, your mom invited me. I’m going to be one of the speakers” She sounded amused that he didn’t know.
“Oh… I guess I’ll see you then”
“Yeah, I’ll see you” she said quietly.
There was a brief silence, and Kylian thought it was the appropriate time to wrap the conversation up. Any other time and they’d spend minutes in comfortable silence, speaking only when they felt like it, and on things that ranged from random to deep. But this was the first time they were speaking in months, and there was another girl waiting for him upstairs.
“Thank you for calling. For calming me down. You’re very talented at that ” He let out a sad laugh.
“Of course. I’m always your friend, Kylian. No matter what” She said it with so much conviction it almost made up for everything else.
He thought she was going to add something else, but she didn’t. They said their goodbyes and hung up the phone.
October 2023
The second time they spoke on the phone, he was on a flight back from a game. It was a loss, and no one was happy, so there was a muted atmosphere on the plane. Despite that, the adrenaline still running through his veins prevented him from falling asleep. He kept awake, fidgeting in his seat, trying to fend off the thoughts that usually assailed him after a loss. Could’ve made that pass. Should’ve scored that goal.
He decided to distract himself. He pressed play on the latest episode of his favorite show, but he couldn’t concentrate. He contemplated playing a game, but he didn't want to think. Next to him, Dembele was softly snoring. He instinctively reached for his phone, and before even thinking about it, called Y/N.
She picked up almost instantly. “Hello?” Her groggy voice made him realize it was well past midnight in Madrid.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late. We can –”
“It’s fine, it’s fine” Her voice was soft. “What’s up?”
He looked out at the night sky through the small airplane window. “Nothing, nothing. Just couldn’t sleep, and thought I’d try and talk to someone”
She chuckled. “Well, you’re in luck, because I’ve been sitting at my desk for the past hour trying to study. You caught me just when I started to doze off”
“Study for what?” He kept his voice low to not wake his neighbor. “I thought you were done with all of that”
“Decided I have one more degree in me” She said. “I started a masters program”
“Wow. So you’re juggling classes, your job, and being a mom to Luna” He tsked jokingly. “That’s a lot on your plate”
“Tell me about it” She yawned. “I’m fully embracing the cat lady stereotype these days”
“What, no guys hitting you up?” He kept his tone teasing, but he was very curious.
“Don’t have time, is all” She responded. “I barely leave the apartment during the weekends… I barely even see friends”
He frowned, imagining her cooped up in her tiny apartment all alone, straining her eyes by poring over her books. Neglecting herself. “Y/N, you work so hard, don’t forget to take care of yourself”
“I’m managing” Her tone was soft but strained. His frown deepened. How had he not noticed the deep tiredness in her voice until now?
“So, what are you doing this weekend?” She asked, clearly trying to change the subject. “Any plans with Sophia?”
“Well, we have two days off, so I was thinking–” A lightbulb flickered inside his head. “I’m actually going to be in Madrid”
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah” He lied. “ I’ve got a Nike photoshoot”
“So, I’ll get to see you right?”
“Yes, of course. You’ll have to text me your address and stuff and I’ll come by..”
She didn’t express any excitement, and he didn’t blame her. He felt nervous himself, seeing as this would be their first meeting alone since December. He’d come up with the idea on the spot, lying about a photoshoot, because something in her voice was off. He wanted to see her, to check on her. Plus, he missed her.
He texted his assistant to arrange a flight and a hotel to Madrid before the plane even landed in Paris. He rushed back to his apartment just to shower and to pack a bag, then he was once again on a plane, making his way to Y/N.
By morning, he was in sunny Madrid. By mid-morning, his driver was taking him to Y/N’s apartment. His heart was beating out of his chest as he knocked on her door. A few seconds, and it opened. And there she was.
He was struck by a sense of longing, the heartache he’d felt all those months compounded tenfold at the sight of her. He couldn’t dwell on that, though, because the longing immediately gave way to a wave of concern. She looked exhausted, her curls frazzled and dark circles visible on her tired face. Despite this, she smiled at him wordlessly and let him inside.
Her apartment was a reflection of her current state – chaotic and disheveled. Papers and books were scattered across surfaces, take-out boxes on the floor.
“Sorry about the mess, I got swept away with work” She shrugged at him in embarrassment as he cleared away papers on the sofa to take a seat.
“No worries” he said, looking around her apartment. This was his first time in her living space.
“Do you want me to get you anything? Water?” She asked, just as a blob of gray fur suddenly flew across the room from nowhere and leaped at him.
“ Ow!” Kylian exclaimed as the cat’s claw made contact with his face. He looked down at it with a disapproving look.“ You must be Luna. Thanks for that”
Luna meowed at him contentedly from her perch on his lap. Y/N chuckled, but her laugh quickly turned into a yawn.
He scratched Luna’s ears and gave Y/N a serious look. “ You need to sleep. Now”
“But I—
“No buts. You need rest” He said firmly “ You go take a nap, I’ll chill with Luna”
“ But you just got here!”
“ We have the whole weekend to hang out”
She frowned. “ You came here for work though”
He ignored her comment. “Just go sleep,Y/N”
With a resigned sigh, she made way to the bedroom.
He looked back at Luna, then at the messy apartment. A former coach of his had once told him a person’s living space was a reflection of their mental state. He sighed at the British shorthair. “Let’s get to work Luna”
He started by gathering the books and papers, carefully arranging them so they were all in the right place. Next, He cleared away all the trash and disposed of it. He wiped all the surfaces of the living room and kitchen, restoring some sense of order. Luna trailed after him all throughout his cleaning, rubbing her head against his leg once in a while.
After some contemplation, he decided to take the risk and walk to the grocery store across from her apartment building. Thankfully, the store clerk didn’t recognize him in his cap and sunglasses so he got his shopping done without any hassle. Back in the apartment, he replaced the wilted flowers on her kitchen table with the fresh ones he’d gotten, then put away the groceries he’d picked up.
He’d never cooked a meal in his entire life, but he figured he’d be able to follow a recipe. So he pulled up youtube and searched up a simple pasta recipe. It took him longer than he’d anticipated, but by the time Y/N woke up, there was a steaming home cooked meal waiting for her on the kitchen table.
She broke into a giggle as soon as she walked out of her bedroom, her eyes lighting up in delight. “You did all this?”
He raised his arms up in mock triumph. “I’m not a completely useless human being outside of football, you know”
“Never said you were” She took a seat by the kitchen table, eagerly stabbing a fork through her pasta.
He watched her take a bite, a grin spreading across his face as she gave him an approving thumbs up. Nothing he loved more than validation from Y/N.
He plated up some for himself, and they ate in companionable silence. Afterwards, Y/N insisted on cleaning up and he didn’t protest, seeing as doing the dishes had always been his least favorite chore ever since he was a kid. He watched her move around the kitchen, already sensing less tension in her after the nap and meal.
When dusk rolled around, he turned to her and grinned. “Time for you to show me your city”. And so they set off, him dressed modestly in just a T-shirt , sweatpants, a cap and pair of sunglasses not to attract attention and her in a pretty yellow sundress. This was his first time venturing outside without a bodyguard in years, and he was sure his mother would have a heart attack if she found out, but he didn’t tell Y/N; he wanted her to feel completely at ease. As they walked, she pointed out some of her favorite things about the city: the mix of historic and contemporary architecture, and the street art. He listened attentively, though his anxiety was growing. It would take only one person to notice him for word to spread around and a mob to form. Then he could do little to protect Y/N or himself.
She must have sensed his worry, because shortly after she pulled him into one of the less crowded cafes. They took a seat outside, his back facing the streets. He watched her people watch, the setting sun casting golden hues over her face. She’d gotten a scoop of ice cream while he was sipping on peach iced tea.
“You know, I hate to complain, but sometimes I wish it was easier” His tone was heavy. “Whenever I’m outside, it feels like I’m always on guard. ” He turned and looked wistfully at the bustling street.
“On the bright side, you’re living your dream” She reminded him with a sympathetic look. “Not many people can say that”
He nodded in agreement, then paused. “Do you think, you and I, if there wasn’t all of this”–He gestured vaguely at himself – “would we have worked out?”
She raised her eyebrows at him, clearly surprised at his question. “I don't – Kylian, I–”
He interrupted her, snorting bitterly. “Remember when you basically told me I’m a fuckboy athlete using you for sex?”
“We don’t need to talk about that now, Kylian” She looked down at her ice cream.
“No, I think we do” He said firmly. “Do you know how much you hurt me?”
She looked up at him. “ Kylian… I’ve seen the pictures, heard the stories. Plus the way you behaved during our…situationship or whatever you call it. You can’t fault me for thinking that way”
“What do you mean the way I behaved?” He laughed bitterly. “ You were the only person I was seeing. Holding hands, kissing, I’ve never done that in public before with anyone else. All because I was proud you were mine… at least I thought you were going to be mine.”
“Well that’s the issue, Kylian. You never told me any of that. I was hurt.. I thought I was just a temporary distraction to you” She said quietly. “I thought you were throwing away our friendship just for sex”
He was hurt that that was the way she viewed him. But he hadn’t led her to believe otherwise, had he? He’d never entertained the idea of a relationship with anyone before her simply because he’d never liked someone so much before her. And so most of his late teen years and early twenties had been spent in a cycle of casual flings, never letting anyone get too close. He could see why she’d thought that way.
“Y/N, I never meant to make you feel like that,” he said, his voice earnest. “I’ve never been in a place where I cared about someone as much as I care about you. Maybe I didn’t show it right, but it was never just about a fling for me.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway, though” She continued, locking eyes with him. “We have two completely different lifestyles… it would never work” She said the last part quietly, as if it was a painful truth she would’ve rather be false.
“So your answer is yes?” He tried to hide the pain in his voice.
“What?”
“The answer to my original question, about my career being in the way, it’s yes right?”
She slowly nodded. He nodded back, a silent acceptance passing between them. Perhaps she was right; they lived in different countries, worked two completely different jobs. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He had Sophia– who lived in the same city as him, who ran in the same circles, who had no problem throwing herself into his world. That should have consoled him, but he couldn’t help but feel that this would be the ‘what if’ that haunted him forever.
She reached out and took his hand. “But Kylian, your friendship means the world to me. I want that forever. I mean look at me, I was on the verge of collapse before you visited. Thank you, by the way” She added, giggling self-deprecatingly.
He managed a small, bittersweet smile. His phone rang just then, and Y/N snatched her hand back when she saw the caller ID on his phone. It was Sophia, wanting to know how his photoshoot was going. He weaved a web of half-truths while Y/N looked down, playing with her ice cream.
By the time he hung up, the sun had completely set and the bustling street outside was bathed in street lights. He’d drunk the last of his iced tea while Y/N spooned the final bits of her ice cream. He found himself watching, mesmerized as her tongue peeked out of her mouth to lick her spoon. Her tongue darted out again to swipe the remaining ice cream from her plump lips. His mouth slightly gaped as she closed her eyes, letting out a soft moan of satisfaction. “That was really good” She said as he moved his eyes away and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Even after the painful conversation they’d had, she was capable of getting his blood flowing to all the wrong places in his body. He didn’t know if it was pathetic or funny.
He cleared his throat. “Let’s head back, shall we?”
February 2024
“Look this way, you two!” The photographer shouted over the loud chatter. Kylian had slowly grown irritated throughout the night; first it was the itchy jacket that clung to him, then the seemingly endless stream of people coming up to him asking for pictures, and now it was this nosy photographer trying to get a snap that he could sell to the tabloids. He knew he was hired by Tchaga to document the opening of his new business, so he tried to keep a polite facade. “No thanks,” He said. “We’re good”
The photographer moved along, clearly disappointed. Next to him, Y/N gave him a playful pout. “You don’t want pictures with me?”
He rolled his eyes at her. “You know why”
She smirked at him as she took a sip of her drink. “Can’t help it if people think I’m hot”
A few weeks ago, a video of Y/N speaking at his foundation event back in July had resurfaced online and gained traction on Twitter and Tiktok. People were commenting on the ‘insane chemistry’ between her and Kylian, and how they looked like the perfect match. Up until then, Y/N had been able to maintain her anonymity; she was never photographed with Kylian or seen out with him. She’d always joked about making her public debut in his documentary fifty years from now, where she’d recount embarrassing stories from his childhood. But that video going viral meant she’d had hundreds of thousands of people camping out on her Instagram page, convinced she was his latest love interest. A few tabloid articles soon followed the social media buzz, lighting up even more speculation online. The irony of all of that happening just as they finally moved past their short lived romance was not lost on Kylian.
Though she hadn’t mentioned it, he knew she wasn’t taking this invasion of her privacy lightly. He felt a pang of guilt, especially since this wasn’t the expected outcome when she’d volunteered to speak to the kids. So he overcompensated sometimes, like in this instance, to make sure no photos of them leaked online or on tabloids to fuel further gossip.
He watched her open her email app for the third time at night, anxiously refreshing it to see if there were any new messages in her inbox.
“Stop that” He snatched the phone out of her hand.
“Give me–” She started protesting, but he’d already replaced her empty hand with another drink.
“You need to relax, they’ll get back to you when they get back to you” He said.
She sighed, nodding hesitantly. She’d come to Paris for a job interview with a company she’d been impressed by for a while. She wasn’t very stressed before the interview, saying she’d rather stay at her job in Madrid anyway, but no one likes facing rejection. As a result, she kept checking her phone for updates while in the middle of the party, which she’d been able to attend because it had coincided with the day of the job interview.
They watched as Tchaga made a speech, Kylian clapping proudly for his best friend. Y/N left shortly after he cut the ribbon, citing exhaustion. Kylian offered his driver to take her home but she declined, so he walked her out of the party and waited for her Uber with her.
“Where’s Sophia tonight?” She asked, shivering slightly in the cold evening air.
“Oh, we broke up” He said casually, shedding his jacket and holding it up for her.
“What?” Her eyes widened in surprise as she turned around, letting him drape the jacket over her shoulders. “I didn’t know that”
He shrugged. “ It wasn’t working out. We wanted different things”
“And what were those?”
“She..” He paused, measuring his words. “ She wanted to be more public. And I didn’t want that”
It was more than that. She’d started posting photos of inside his house, which Kylian had expressed his discomfort at. She didn’t understand where he was coming from though, didn’t understand that as someone who was in the public eye from a very young age he placed a high value on his privacy. Then it was calling photographers whenever they were out together– at events, restaurants, you name it. He’d always known that being her boyfriend increased her profile in the modeling world, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was in the entire relationship just for the spotlight. So, he’d called it quits. Her reaction had confirmed his suspicions – he’d seen pictures of her out and about with an A list actor just a few days after their break up.
“I’m sorry, Kyky” She gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his torso. He rested his chin on the top of her head, fighting the urge to kiss her wind frazzled curls.
“You haven’t called me that in a long time”
“ Just wanted to reclaim the nickname I gave you, now that she’s out of your life” She grumbled.
Kylian chuckled, feeling slightly satisfied by the jealous undertone in her voice.Y/N had still never met Sophia but she always overheard her call him Kyky over the phone. It was true that she was the one who’d come up with the nickname when they were younger. He liked that she was possessive over him; over a part of him, at least.
They said their goodbyes after a few moments, and he watched her uber speed away. He only went back inside when the car turned the corner and disappeared.
Inside the party, he mingled with friends of friends and other acquaintances. An hour or so went by before it was just his inner circle left. He stood around with Ethan, his father, and Tchaga, chatting about the week’s football and other random tidbits.
Ethan pointed at the small beard on his chin, laughing. “You’re still growing that out? We told you it sucks”
Him and Tchaga had teased him mercilessly about it last time he’d grown it out, saying it was tacky. He’d quickly shaved after that.
“Oh, Y/N said she liked it so I just kept it” He shrugged.
“You’d probably wear clown shoes if she told you they looked good” His father muttered quietly.
Ethan and Tchaga burst into laughter, while Kylian’s face flushed. Seeing his son's embarrassment, Wilfried quickly corrected himself.
“What I meant to say,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender, “is that you clearly value her opinion more than anyone else’s.”
“Which is great” Tchaga added “If you both weren’t running away from your feelings”
Kylian groaned.
“It’s never going to work out” He automatically repeated the words she’d said to him, the same words he said to himself during sleepless nights.
His father squeezed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “To me, it just seems like you’re both scared. Maybe take a leap of faith. It’s obvious you two care about each other a lot… If you don’t give it a shot, you’re going to regret it. Trust me”
You’re going to regret it. Wasn’t he already? Deep down, he knew there was no one else for him besides her. Anyone else he kissed, slept with, dated, or even had a fleeting connection with was just second best. No one knew him like she did, no one else had his heart in the palm of their hand. If he didn’t tell her now, then they’d start drifting apart. Separate futures. Separate lives with different families and different partners. A life of misery is what awaited him.
He sighed. He knew what to do.
April 2024
Kylian had arrived in Madrid on that April morning with two missions; First to sign the most important contract of his professional career so far, then to tell his best friend he was in love with her. The first part was straightforward; himself and his group of lawyers had met Real Madrid’s lawyers, signed the papers, and sealed the deal. Just like that, the most dramatic football transfer saga of the decade came to an end.
The second one he’d been more nervous for. He’d tried to come up with a script, something romantic like in the movies. But it felt disingenuous, so he decided he’d make it up as we went along. Hey, I know you said we’re never going to work out, but we’re going to be living in the same city soon so why don’t we give it a try? Nah, that was too simple. He needed to come up with something better.
He met her at her apartment in the evening, leaving behind his mother and the rest of the team who’d come along for the contract signing.
“He’s off to see his girlfriend now” His mother had announced to the table when he excused himself after their late lunch.
He’d flinched at the term and whispered, “She’s not my girlfriend”
“Oh, really?” She shot him a look that could melt steel. “And why is that?”
He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Don’t even start with the ‘I don’t have time’ excuse . You two can spare 2 hours a day to talk on the phone, so you clearly do have the time”
He didn’t respond, just gave her a small smile. Being called out by both parents for unresolved feelings wasn’t for the weak. Hopefully, he'd give her good news by the next day.
Now, he was in Y/N’s living room, waiting for her to finish getting ready before they went out to dinner. After contemplating how he’d talk to her about it, he’d decided dinner was the best option so he’d proposed the idea that they go out for a nice meal. He entertained himself by playing with Luna as he waited for her, watching the cat run around the apartment leaving chaos in her wake.
He looked up when he heard the sound of heels. Y/N emerged out of her room, looking beautiful in a white dress that hugged her figure gracefully. It was knee length, sleeveless and was complemented by a pair of tall white heels. Almost involuntarily, his gaze wandered up her legs, admiring the way the white of her dress contrasted with her brown skin. His eyes traced the curve of her hips – he’d once had the privilege of laying his hands on them, but now he could only stare longingly.
She cleared her throat and his eyes immediately darted away. She had an amused look on her face, clearly aware of where his thoughts had been. He just smirked back in response, as if to say “sue me”.
“You look beautiful” He said quietly.
“Thank you” She said. She was glowing more than usual, the happiness on her face evident.
“You look really happy” He noted, smiling at her. “It suits you”
“Well, it’s because I got that job I told you about!” She squealed in excitement.
His smile faltered. “What?”
“I was going to tell you over dinner, but I couldn’t wait” She shrugged happily, her delight evident.
“Wow” He was well and truly speechless. “Congratulations”
“Thank you” She beamed at him.
“So, you’ll be moving?” He dreaded the answer to that question.
She nodded in affirmation. “I’m really excited”
He thought about the cruel coincidences that had followed them for years; She left Paris as soon as he came back to Paris, and now she was leaving Madrid to Paris just as he was leaving Paris to come to Madrid. It felt like a cosmic joke from the universe, a message that they were never meant to be. The thing he wanted most in the world at the tip of his fingers, now gone. He felt tears prick his eyes but he blinked them away.
“Kylian, are you okay?” Y/N gave him a concerned look.
He put on his best fake smile, the one he reserved for journalists. “Yeah, I’m fine. Come on, let’s go celebrate”
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