#so only four for the eel mama this time
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Almost too late for May the 4th, but I made it nonetheless! Everyone meet my Kaminoan OC, Saun Hal, and four of her CC cadets! CC-7238 “Blindside”, CC-6204 “Riptide”, CC-4155 “Doe” and lastly CC-8353 “Duster”!
Anyways this is your local PSA to make and love your Kaminoan OC’s! Cuz they are very fun to make :3
#Star Wars#may the fourth be with you#may the 4th#Kaminoan#kaminoan oc#clone trooper oc#clone trooper#OC: Saun Hal#OC: Blindside#OC: Riptide#OC: Doe#OC: Duster#///#if I had more OC’s and more patience Id give her more clone cadets but sadly I have neither#so only four for the eel mama this time#but dw she has more#many more#so many babies for her she is exctatic
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Pick rooms that belong to your current obsession (media) and put your friends in them
Hell.
... juuuuuuuust kidding. /ref
Unfortunately, I don't have just one obsession, I have a group which I rotate in my brain like the lego man in the tumbler, so... I'm sending everyone to their new homes, and if you're unhappy with where you stand, sorry, I do make the rules actually! Who's ready to see their new home?
Let's see... who's first?
...
Issy. Issy! You're first! I'm sending you to... the Hadal Blacksite! Go my Issy, be free, commit crimes, and fight with Sebastian. He owes me a gummylight I WANT it.
You can have Idol's room, as a courtesy even. Free food, fuck the searchlights, nice performances, a tooooooon of stuffed animals, honestly anything comforting you can think of, Idol 's room has it. Pretty neat to be honest.
Only thing is she sleeps on a mattress on the floor but if you can get past that part? 10/10 room.
Satoru? Do I have to? Can't I send him to hell? Pretty please?
No?
Damn. Damn! Ugh, fine uhm. Shit where DO I put his ass? I can't send him to hell, I can't leave him homeless, that just makes ME the asshole.
I'll put him innnnnnnnnnnnnn. theeeee. Hotel from the Inn-Sanity. Yeah! go. go fuck up the priest for me, sweetheart! the wedding can go back on once I'm undoomed by the inn-sanity's narrative. /ref /silly
Saturday can have the room from the first Amanda the Adventurer! Fucking love that game, love myself a good haunted television adventurer. Go, solve the mysteries in my death tapes!
Navi, I'm sending you to into the second Amanda the Adventurer game. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out all the secrets in that game before the monsters find you, no? Teehee. (a threat)
Try not to die too soon, m'kay? /j
Fifi... hmph. I don't know where I can possibly send you without you causing an issue to be honest. So, choose an analog horror from this book, whatever fills your cannibalistic heart with the most bloody joy.
Don't tell me which one you choose though. I don't need to know.
Originally, I was going to give you Lighter's room, but since you want to act like you're a goddamn stalker and serial killer, Taegan Mariah Collins, you can have Ronin's room. Goddamn antichrist actin' ass.
I got a short fuse for fools, don't get arrogant. /lyr
Yuu is going to the murder house hehehehehehehe.
Four... honestly, I can just send you to Octavinelle and call it a day, because you are an eel and whatnot. Eels love water and shit, right?
...
Actually, I think I'll send you to Fontaine, it's probably a nice, better place, more room for you to swim around, more people worthy of being squeezed, it's a pretty sweet deal, no?
Maybe we can go track down some assholes together. Just, don't mind me setting myself on fire. C4 Hu Tao does things to you... shudders.
Klai can have her time in a LGTS/Pocket Mirror themed room. I know, I know, I'm a goddamn saint. Not my personal interest of course, but, I know my cilentle.
Clown... clown clown clown clown clown... can I send them to the circus from Madagascar. Afro circus afro circus afro polka dot polka dot polka dot afro.
Beth! Beth!!! I'm sending you to... Bonnie's Bakery!
Wait. Wait no not Bonnie's Bakery. Not that one.
Cooking Mama, that's the one. Final answer. Go make your silly foods, bestie. I do want a discount though I am hungry. /j
Pins feels like a Home Safety Hotline girlie. If you don't know the game, bestie, go check it out. That game would do WONDERS in Dynathus.
Whatever, go my HSH Pins. /ref Enjoy your new room, the free computer, and the power over every life that calls your hotline, babe. Good luck!
Emma and Al are kind of a package deal, I can't separate them! And if I ever separate them, feel free to kill me actually. Okay well don't actually kill me, dying sounds painful please please please please-
Rooms for them, rooms for them... hmm. I think they'd be fun roommates for a Dollmare themed room or the Inn-Sanity as well. They'd make the horrors real fun real fast, me thinks. I could count on them to have my back in these worlds.
They're fun people, so, their rooms should reflect that.
Me, personally? I think Rina deserves a cute room, something reflecting her fun personality and amazing presence!
I'm sending you back to your FNaF phase. sowwy. You'll forgive me, righttttt? Rightttt????? Righttt!
I think a FNaF Joy of Creation room for Rina would just be... a little silly, teehee!!
Lupi... hmm. Congrats, you're getting an Honkai Impact 3rd themed room, specifically, the Elysium Realm. You now have an in-home bar, ain't that nice?
Orange can have a DHMIS room, I think the vibes fit them perfectly. Fun, colorful, slightly cursed, tons of plotting plans to have, and overall just extremely silly and fun to visit.
Joe. Omori room. All three spaces included. Enough said.
.
.
.
Well, that's it. If I missed you, let me know! This post took forever to think of and make. Teehee.
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TWST Fanfic "Her Lost Voice": Chapter 12
Inky's Links: AO3 : Masterlist : 3rd Story Poll (20ish hours left)
Chapter 12: Blood in the Water
Indigo had always been a fast swimmer but as the waters grew darker and colder, he took his time getting back to the Leech territory. His stoic ice-blue eyes stayed focused on what was in front of him as his long, winding tail propelled him forward past schools of fish and over changing scenes of territory beneath him. He was tired but still on edge, a habit he could never quite kick even now that he knew his sisters and their friend were safe. He kept his promise to Junonia and made sure her daughters were taken care of. That brought peace to Indigo's restless mind more than anything. The tense alertness that had kept him alive up until that point grew as he saw the glow of the central square peek over the horizon.
It was lively as usual as if all the madness of the past twenty-four hours never happened. Indigo received a few odd looks as he joined the crowds but paid the paranoid onlookers no mind. He was too busy carefully looking over his shoulder for someone else. However, another familiar face caught his attention as he passed by the Leviathan Club. Indigo felt obligated to at least stop for a moment.
Mama Ashengrotto was in full form as the former Muraeni son entered her establishment. She looked his way with a curious smile, "Well now, I haven't seen you in a minute, young man. And alone?"
Indigo relaxed a fraction in the cecaelia woman's warm presence, "I just wanted to let you know that my sisters and the princess had returned to the surface safely. Your boys too."
The motherly octopus smiled gratefully, "Thank you for keeping an eye on them. They can be quite a handful. It's no wonder you look so tired," she chuckled, "Come in, come in, have a seat and have a house special on me, dear...but do remind me what you go by again?"
Indigo knew better than refuse her generous offer and followed Mama Ashengrotto to a table of her choosing as he answered as if it had always been his name, "Indigo Cerith."
The woman smiled knowingly, "Ah yes, that's right. Here you are, Mr. Cerith. I'm actually glad you're here. Some of my girls were wondering when you'd come by again."
A sly grin adorned the hostess' face as both she and Indigo noticed just how excited some of the waitresses looked when they saw him sit down. He just cleared his throat and failed to hide the small flush on his face. This was probably the one and only leisurely visit he had made to the restaurant but clearly, his absences didn't go unnoticed.
-
Indigo was heading towards the hub when he noticed a small group of Don Leech's men started to flock around him as if he were leading a pack.
"Indigo, sir," the biggest eel quietly addressed him, "We received a tip-off about one of your brothers while you were away. The source was a bit iffy but..."
Indigo was still getting used to Don Leech's men calling him 'sir' but apparently becoming the Don's protege warranted it without question. Indigo swam among them, listening in silence. He had his suspicions that something like this would happen. Don Leech seemed to be on the same page.
"We haven't seen any intruders on the property since you left, sir. The boss insisted we give you some backup on your way home just in case."
"Appreciate it, thank you. If I know my brothers, it's Ventuno," Indigo kept his voice low and even in spite of his brow furrowing, "I don't know where he is but I can still feel him lurking about somewhere...don't look too concerned. Let's just head back as usual. I have an idea."
The group entered the hub and headed straight for their home turf. The pair of eyes watching them from inside the dark tunnels went unnoticed. While he certainly wasn't the most clever Muraeni son, Ventuno did have enough skill and smarts to know when and how to hide his scent. So when his younger brother led him right to the proper exit, it was only a matter of time before he could and would pounce. He was nothing if not persistent when he had a goal in mind.
Indigo reported directly to Don Leech as the men who guarded him dispursed back to either watching the grounds or going to patrol the surrounding territory. There was too much activity surrounding the mansion right now as the waters grew dark with the coming night. Ventuno found a suitable hiding spot, buried in the sand among the rocks just outside the tunnels. He slowly and quietly began to dig deeper into the sand whenever the coast was clear, inching closer and closer to the barrier surrounding the Leech Family home. Once he finally reached the wall itself after some time, an array of familiar scents guided him along the edge until an opening on the backside revealed itself. Luna's scent...those twins...even Cowrie's scent...though a little old, all of them wafted from the garden just on the other side like a beacon. A dark chuckle hummed in his throat as Ventuno quietly slipped inside like a snake on the prowl. The brightly colored clusters of coral provided enough cover for Ventuno to hide for what felt like hours. He grew impatient as the night grew deeper and more strangers came and went from the grounds. His brother was never among them.
"What's all this commotion about?"
Ventuno couldn't see her face but a woman swam close enough to his hiding spot that he saw her teal tail swish through the water. He peered through the gaps between the coral branches to get a better look at her. Madam Leech was being informed of the current situation by one of Don Leech's men as he followed her into the garden. She seemed unconcerned as she tended to another cluster of coral, her back to Ventuno. The other eel was called away and told the mistress of the house that he would return shortly. She thanked him for keeping her in the loop and continued to tend to her garden.
She was beautiful, elegant, not to mention youthful. The way she carried herself and wore black pearls along her neck, this woman was clearly the Don's wife. Ventuno internally scoffed at Don Leech's luck in bagging such a stunning mate. Even Ventuno knew how stupid it'd be to attack another boss' wife, but she was the only one standing between him and the door to sneak inside. She was alone with her guard down...surely, she'd be an easy target to quickly subdue without much harm done. The woman's back remained turned as Ventuno slithered out from his hiding spot with staggering speed. He wasted no time trapping Madam Leech.
Madam Leech's shriek was cut off as Ventuno's large tail tightly ensnared her body and clamped over her mouth. Her yellow eyes shot the Muraeni son a venomous glare as she struggled to free herself. A smug, razor-sharp smile just spread on the roman eel's face.
"It's a good thing you're so beautiful, Mrs. Leech. I don't really like roughing up beautiful ladies. But I'll promise you this: if you keep quiet and let me do what I came here to do, then I won't break your pretty neck. You're going to tell me where Seven is and you're going to do it quietly, hmm? If not...then even your beauty can't save you."
Ventuno hissed as the woman bit into his tail, allowing her seconds to free herself. She almost made it to the door until the Muraeni son tackled her to the ground, trying to muffle her screaming once again, "Breaking your neck it is then!"
In a matter of seconds, Ventuno made two very big mistakes: first, he assumed that Madam Leech was defenseless, and second, he assumed she was alone just because the rest of the garden looked empty. Madam Leech quickly whipped and swept her tail along the sand behind them to reveal a familiar spotted figure had been hiding in the sand as well. Ventuno couldn't even think fast enough to dodge Indigo as he wrapped his arms around his brother's neck and flipped him onto the ground, away from the startled mistress.
No questions were asked. Ventuno couldn't utter a word before his brother sliced his face and chest with his claws, all while a raw intensity was frozen in his pale blue eyes. Ventuno's instincts finally kicked in as his sharp teeth dug into Indigo's arm. No words were exchanged between the brothers as they tore into each other in a miniature storm of blood and sand.
Madam Leech was quickly embraced in her mate's arms seconds after he arrived on the scene and wrapped himself protectively around her. The Don look directly into her eyes, ignoring the brawl happening right before him, "Are you alright, love? Did he hurt you?"
She shook her head with a soft smile, "No darling, I'm fine. It was just as Indigo predicted."
Ventuno's bloody body was roughly pinned to the ground by his furious brother right as those words reached his ears. Just as Indigo predicted...a wet cough escaped his mouth followed by a bitter laugh. Ventuno laughed right in his brother's glaring face.
" 'Indigo'...? Who the hell do you think you are?" he coughed again, "You take on your fake name and run away with Luna to our enemy's doorstep, thinking you can just have some other life free of any consequences?!" Ventuno spat out those words like they were poison.
Indigo's icy eyes narrowed dangerously, "If you feel like talking so much, tell me why you're here. I know Dad didn't send you. He's smarter than that. My guess is that he's taking away your status as his heir and you blame me, right?"
The wounded eel snarled and tried to snap his teeth at Indigo, only to have his throat nearly crushed as his head was shoved deeper into the sand, "Of course, it's YOUR fault!! You ruined EVERYTHING and for what?! To suck up to these Leech bastards?! The future of the Muraeni clan belonged to ME damn it! So why the hell does he want you back?!"
Ah...so that was it. Indigo's angry expression melted back into its usual stoic tone though it was colored with something that pissed his brother off even more: pity. His parting words, however, weren't so kind.
"I don't know what you thought coming after me would accomplish, Ventuno. Whatever it was, I hope it was worth the cost...not only did you invade another Don's home, you attacked his mate," Indigo's eyes lifted as a large shadow suddenly passed over the two hunched brothers. Any fight the Muraeni son had left in him vanished as soon as he saw the cold rage in Don Leech's eyes.
"Step aside, Indigo..." his voice was low and vibrating with a snarl.
"Yes sir," Indigo released his grip on his brother and swam away from him without another word of parting or sympathy. The last sound he heard before guiding Madam Leech safely inside was the cracking of his brother's ribs as Don Leech slammed his tail down on his chest. The Don called his men to his side and ordered them to take Ventuno outside the wall and behind the mansion, "I'm not done with you yet, boy, I just don't want to tarnish my beloved's garden any further with your blood..."
Ventuno could hardly move much less breathe but that didn't stop him from giving one last argument, "I-If you kill m-me...my father...h-he'll start a war! I'm...I'm still his son!"
Don Leech didn't even bother scoffing. He followed his men to the outside dune where no one would see what was about to happen. He stared down at the beaten Muraeni with steeled malice as he was thrown down before the furious boss, "You should have thought of that before you touched my wife..."
-
Indigo wasn't nearly as battered as his brother but that didn't mean he left the fight unscathed. Inside, Madam Leech was tenderly cleaning the gashes Ventuno left on his arms, shoulders, and tail. The mother hadn't known Indigo for very long but also felt some maternal affection towards him even before he rescued her.
"I'm sorry..." he suddenly muttered, "I didn't mean to put you in harm's way like that, Madam Leech, but Ventuno acted just how I thought he would."
The mother just tutted as if her life being threatened was nothing unusual, "Hush. A proper wife to a household such as this cannot let herself be phased by these events. Besides, you predicted your brother's actions before he even arrived. You also factored in that he'd be too distracted by my being there to notice you hiding in the sand, " she smiled proudly, "I was right to put my life in your clever hands. I can see why my darling has faith in you."
Indigo had a distant look in his eyes that made the mistress frown, "Indigo...I know you were born and raised in the worst this sort of life has to offer. Even so, this cannot be easy for you..."
If he felt any remorse, he didn't show it. Instead, Indigo merely shook his head and spoke with resolve, "My brother sealed his own fate. I don't regret protecting myself and you, Madam. I doubt the Don would have me act any other way."
"You acted as any good son of the Leech house would in this situation," Madam Leech placed a motherly kiss on Indigo's head before binding up his wounded tail, "I'm glad to hear you have no regrets. My husband will take care of everything. In the meantime...you need to rest."
"Yes ma'am," he sighed.
A soft smile rested on Madam Leech's lips, "Besides, now that you are here and a part of this household, I must do my part in ensuring you have a far better life. I like to make sure all of my boys, biological or otherwise, have the very best chance at happiness. After you heal, I have a niece I'd like you to meet. She's an absolute gem."
He was beginning to wonder if he had some giant target on his back that alerted every mother in the area that he was an eligible bachelor. It wasn't something he was allowed to pursue in earnest while he was still at his birth home, however...well Indigo could already tell that Madam Leech was not a woman to be told no. Though he was exhausted, the thought of courtship made a bundle of nerves flair up in his gut.
"...Y-Yes, ma'am."
-
By the next afternoon, the news of Ventuno Muraeni's death had spread over both territories if not even further. The remaining sons of Don Muraeni silently waited in the dining hall. Their plates were full but none of the three sons moved to take a bite. Their father's shouts could be heard echoing down the hall paired with the crashing noise of broken furniture and who knows what else. Proteus stood patiently just inside the office door as his boss processed the news.
Another crash sounded as Don Muraeni's tail scattered the contents on the shelf to his right. He was absolutely fuming. For all the attempts he had made at making a suitable heir, the offspring that stayed loyal to him were a pack of idiots!
"Stubborn...wreckless...absolute fool!" Don Muraeni snarled out the broken words in between each harsh breath, "He just had to rush headlong into his own grave and ruin my plans!"
Proteus leaned to the left to dodge another heated swing of Don Muraeni's tantrum possessed tail that ended up decapitating an innocent statue by the door. He calmly cleared his throat as he casually swatted some offending dust away, "Sir...condolences aside...what would you like me to do with the body? It's rather unpleasant just leaving it in the main hall."
The furious moray rolled his eyes, "Feed it to the sharks for all I care. The boy is just as useful to me dead as he was alive!"
"Understood, sir. As for the Leech Family...Don Leech wasn't subtle in his message. How will you respond?"
It happened at dawn. Don Muraeni was roused awake by another ruckus only this time, it wasn't some leftovers of throw-away thugs being dropped on his doorstep like a sack of garbage. No, the barely recognizable corpse of his eldest son was laid at his feet by none other than Don Leech's own men. They came straight into enemy territory as if they owned the place with a very direct message from their even more fearless leader...
"Your spawn came into my home and attacked my wife whether, by his own volition or your command, it doesn't matter. This is the payment dealt by my own hands. If you have something to say, Don Muraeni, come say it to my face."
Even in this violent world divided by two warring families, the murder of a Don's heir was only trumped by the murder or assault of a Don's life mate. While Don Muraeni lived by his own rules in terms of having a proper mate, Don Leech was more traditional in that he was mated for life. As morbid as it sounded, children could always be made but a mate was irreplaceable. By this logic, no one could fault Don Leech. Not even his enemy. If Don Muraeni blamed anyone, it was his foolhardy son! The aggravated moray took a deep breath and sat down at his mostly still assembled desk.
"This must be dealt with carefully, Proteus...after all, a tragedy has occurred because of my son's short-sightedness," he swished his tail pensively as he thought, "If we are to bring Seven back home, willingly of course...then we must offer peace to our dear Don Leech. Peace in place of bared fangs would be best."
"Of course, sir. And if our dear Don-to-be doesn't cooperate?" Proteus's face was somber but a spark of deep-seeded excitement made his sharp tail twitch behind his straight back.
The Don's eyes narrowed at his right hand, "Then I trust you still have the right leverage to sway him?"
A wicked grin opened across the electric rayman's face, showing off small spiny teeth, "Naturally, sir."
"Good," Don Muraeni's face froze back into its usual stoic expression as he rose from his seat, "I've been meaning to have a chat with her but alas...her stubbornness hasn't waned in all these years."
Proteus chuckled coldly, "She is a determined specimen, sir. However, we both know how much of a soft spot she's had for our Seven. I'm sure she'll see reason and submit."
"I trust her in your capable hands, Proteus. Now. Let's see if my other sons have any use left in them...if not, well," the Don gave Proteus a dark look over his shoulder as he left the dismantled office, "Feel free to add to your collection if you so desire..."
-
The sun was starting to set over the Sacred Crown Hall campus the next evening. Miles above their home in the Coral Sea, Luna and Elise were walking toward the central gardens behind Cowrie and her vice prefect with the rest of their dorm for the sorting ceremony. While Night Raven College held their ceremony at night and Royal Sword Academy had theirs in the morning, it was tradition for Sacred Crown Hall to hold theirs at the golden hour of sunset.
Each dorm donned their matching ceremonial robes: hooded flowing periwinkle cloaks that faded into a deep midnight blue fabric trimmed in gold along the split sleeves and edges that depicted abstract patterns tied to the school's famous stain glass hall and deep fuschia fabric lining the inside. While NRC's main road had statues of the Great Seven, Sacred Hall had a long open corridor of stained glass figures in tall arched windows. Though it was a girls' school, the seven figures that inspired each dorm were actually princes and heroic figures from the past. Cowrie looked up as they passed the Cerulamare window. Theirs portrayed the determined sea-fairing prince that faced danger in his endless search for the mermaid princess who saved his life and entranced him with her beautiful voice. From this old story came their dorm's motto: "Whatever storms and dangers entail, we set our sights forward and prevail."
It was corny but Cowrie came to love it and the story about the prince. Mostly because he reminded her of just how stubbornly determined Elise could be. Once all of the girls arrived at the large wishing well in the old castle's courtyard, they separated into their own groups and quietly waited for the Headmistress to begin the ceremony. The white-haired fairy godmother stood in front of the school's Great Wishing Well which was just as Cowrie said: it was more of a large pool or fountain than an actual well. Along the marble edges of the pool, there were blank copper coins, waiting for the new girls to toss into the water. The new freshmen arrived in a similar fashion to the boys at Night Raven though instead of coffins, they slept inside large glass terrarium-like chambers scattered about the garden. When the lingering sunlight painted everything in an amber glow, the chambers began to glow themselves, signaling the beginning of the ceremony.
"Welcome back to Sacred Crown Hall, my girls," she greeted the students warmly as she pulled out her ivory wand, "Let us begin and welcome our new students with open arms."
The Headmistress touched her wand to one of the chambers to awaken the expectant student so she could choose and toss her coin into the fountain to be sorted. It was exciting the first time around but after doing this a few times, both Luna and Elise felt distracted. Cowrie stood at the very front of the Cerulamare group as the newly appointed Prefect looking less than excited. Luna felt a buzz come from her skirt pocket and noticed her sister look down at hers as well. She waited until the Headmistress wasn't looking to pull her phone from her pocket and read the message from Jade.
"There's been a situation at home. Keep an eye on each other. Elise and Luna, come to Octavinelle as soon as you can."
Luna kept a neutral expression as she silently showed Elise the message before joining the rest of Cerulamare in applauding their first freshman. The princess followed her best friend's example and did the same. Before the Cerith sisters met up with Elise again, they finalized the next step in the plan. Luna had been given the extra key to the Octavinelle grotto to hold onto until the time was right. Normally, being fourth years, they would return to their field studies a day or so after the opening ceremony. It was very unusual to see any fourth-year students hanging around throughout the year. Since neither Luna nor Elise had an internship to go back to, they would stay hidden and close by at Octavinelle.
Cowrie wasn't too happy about being left behind but was reassured once a month had passed and it was time for the open campus festival at Sacred Crown, they would all regroup when it was far less suspicious. Until then, everyone had to play their part as if nothing was out of the ordinary. The ceremony wasn't even halfway done and this was already proving to be difficult. Elise noticed a few other girls either giving Cowrie or her funny looks and whispering amongst themselves. So much that it was starting to make her irritated and anxious at the same time. Luna also noticed this and gave a few of the closer by girls a sharp look. That was all it took to make them wander further away from them.
"What is going on?" Elise whispered harshly to Luna, "why are they staring at us??"
Luna leaned in to answer as the rest of the girls cheered for another new Cerulmare student, "Keep in mind that many Cerulamare girls are mermaids. Whether they be like Cowrie and I or more Atlantian, they may have taken notice of your changes, Elise. You were their Dorm Leader for two years. That or...my sister doesn't seem to be to everyone's tastes."
It was as if Luna's words lifted a veil off of Elise's eyes. She looked around the room at the other dorms and saw how they all stood close to their dormmates almost uniformly. Cerulamare's students, however, had a literal gap dividing them. Cowrie stood in the very front facing forward, straight up and sure, ignoring all the whispers buzzing around her. Some of the girls flanked her and her vice prefect all holding the same confident stature. Others seemed to have split off into a separate cluster, shrinking away from their new dorm leader and her allies. It made the princess feel as if she swallowed a beehive.
"Honestly," she huffed quietly, "this is ridiculous...not to mention embarrassing."
Luna nudged Elise right as Cowrie looked over her shoulder at the two of them as they stood further back. Luna gave her younger sister a supportive smile and silently encouraged Elise to do the same. Once Cowrie turned back around, satisfied, Luna leaned in to whisper to Elise, "I'm frustrated too. But my sister thinks the world of you and takes pride in the fact that you chose her specifically. Have faith in your decision and ignore all the rabble. Let them embarrass themselves."
Hearing this, the princess felt a pang of guilt. Perhaps Cowrie wasn't the most orthodox choice but Elise had put a lot of thought into choosing the younger Cerith sister to pass the torch to. In spite of her trivial anxieties, Elise believed that her younger friend would prove to be a capable dorm leader...she just didn't like the looks of all these naysayers making a fuss already before the semester even started.
-
Later after the night began, Jade felt a response buzz come from his pocket right as he, Azul, and Floyd gathered in the Hall of Mirrors to begin their own ceremony. As third years, nothing much had changed for the infamous trio: Azul was still the Dorm Prefect, Jade was still his outlandishly efficient Vice, and Floyd was still so bored by orientation that the other two had to drag him there. At least he was until he was also checking his phone with a goofy grin on his face. Luna had apparently sent him a very different message. Azul saw no point in scolding the moody twin for not paying attention. Instead, he was silently plotting out the next few weeks in his mind. Jade discreetly leaned down to whisper to Azul as Crowley began the ceremony, "The new supply for Mostro Lounge should be here tomorrow night."
"Excellent, I'll receive it personally. See that the students adhere to the curfew as expected," Azul responded cooly making Floyd and Jade snicker.
All three boys had agreed to keep Elise and Luna's coming and going under wraps and thus worked out a way to speak about it in public without giving away any secrets. Just in case any eavesdroppers decided to tempt fate by sticking their noses where they didn't belong. If anyone else found out that two female students had been snuck onto campus, it would be chaos...
Much like Elise and Luna, Azul and the twins found their third orientation to be rather boring. Surprisingly, there didn't seem to be any wild interruptions or outbursts. Floyd was very disappointed and had no problem saying so.
"Ugghh...is it over yet? None of these freshies look that interesting," he muttered to his brother and best friend.
"Patience, Floyd...besides, the are some new upgrades that may prove entertaining," Jade nodded towards the other dorms and their new ranks.
Riddle remained the Heartslabyul king as expected but he had a surprising growth spurt over the summer. He left last semester at his usual 5'3 height but returned standing at a very proud 5'8. This was hardly anything compared to the Leech twins at their towering height but Riddle was nonetheless satisfied. Now that Trey and the other third years - including Leona, surprising everyone - had moved on to become fourth years entering the field for further study, there had been a few changes in rank among the dorms. For Heartslabyul, Deuce Spade became the newest Vice Prefect. Judging from his conflicting expression as he stood next to Riddle, it was hard to say if he was excited or abysmally nervous.
For Savannaclaw, the leadership role went to Ruggie with Jack at his vice. Though just looking at them, anyone would have thought it was the other way around. Ruggie hadn't changed that much but somehow, Jack got even taller and more buff.
For Pomefiore, Epel had taken over as the new prefect after a lot of serious study in potionology and one hell of a glow-up, a parting gift from Vil no doubt. While Riddle's growth spurt was surprising, Epel's was mind-boggling. While he didn't turn into a burly musclebound hunk like he probably dreamed of becoming, he did - as Rook would poetically describe - transform some a small youthful duckling into a tall, handsome, and regal swan. He kept his lavender locks long enough to keep pulled into a short boyish tail and his frame, though still slender, became more toned as he now stood at a strapping 5'9. Ace and Deuce wondered what exactly he ate while at home on the farm during the break.
The biggest surprise for the new Ignihyde wasn't that Idia and Ortho were replaced with someone that stood out...no rather the new prefect wasn't someone everyone knew but the reason he stood out was that he showed up.
Finally, Diasomnia was now led by Silver who, if anything, looked a bit more fit and seasoned. Sebek surprisingly didn't seem to age nor did he put up much of a fuss as the Vice Prefect but the two very different boys seemed to balance each other out perfectly. Their freshmen didn't seem to know how to feel about the dynamic, however.
Azul took notes of the changes and put the necessary pins in them for later use. Floyd's mood didn't change whatsoever. If anything, he seemed even more eager to get back to the dorm or at least be anywhere but here. His brother noticed the restless look in his eyes and frowned.
"Patience, Floyd..." he repeated.
Ever since their father informed them of what happened, Floyd had been in a weirdly imbalanced state. He wasn't angry but he wasn't calm either. It was like Floyd was constantly on the brink of an outburst but it never quite took off. Jade was far more poker-faced about the whole incident. As the future Don Leech, he had to keep his cards close to his chest. On the surface, the three boys were just the usual trio that returned from another usual summer break to school. However, Azul and Floyd knew that under Jade's gentlemanly exterior, he was in fact, livid. First Jade's intended had been attacked and aggressively injured right on his doorstep and now his own mother had been threatened? The second opportunity presented itself, Jade Leech was more than willing to teach the Muraeni Family a lesson. But for his beloved and his sister-in-law's sake, that would have to wait. Fortunately, Jade was incredibly patient.
As for Azul, there was definitely something brewing behind his stormy eyes. Something that he refused to let slip now that they were back on campus. Here Azul Ashengrotto was the cunning, charismatic leader of Octavinelle, a reputation that he had built from the ground up. This wasn't the time or place for weakness or doubt to seep through the cracks. But if he were honest, he was feeling a bit anxious himself for a number of reasons...
Was she safe? Would he be able to keep her safe by his side until the time came for her to decide? When the time did come...would he be able to let Elise go without any protest? That last question dug at Azul like a hundred fish hooks stuck crudely into his flesh. No one would ever know it from the trained grin on his face, the very same he had at the ready of any business day. Only the twins suspected but neither one was in the mood to stir the pot right now. The three of them led their students back to Octavinelle where they held the usual welcome party in their Mostro Lounge. Where they all played their usual parts to a T until it was time for curfew.
Azul stayed behind in his office for a few minutes as the twins herded the students back to their rooms. The quiet both comforted and teased him. He leaned against the cool leather seat at his desk and let out a long sigh, feeling his whole body finally give way to exhaustion. It wasn't long before his brain steered itself back to those questions concerning Elise. After a long pensive brooding, Azul went to the platform that led out to the open aquarium surrounding the dorm.
The dorm leader didn't make a habit of swimming around the dorm as much as Jade and Floyd had in the past. In fact, Azul often avoided doing so but now his octopus form felt less alien to him as he glided through the open water silently. The water was less cold than the waters of home, brighter even. His mind remembered watching the princess playfully jet about like a child with a new toy when he was back in the Coral Sea. It made him smile remembering her laughter and glee. How she gracefully took to that form so easily. How she'd tease and test him with it. Seriously did she know how beautiful she was? She had to! That sparkle in her eyes, that coy smile...Azul suddenly grimaced at his own sappy thoughts.
"She's been gone a day or two! Get it together!" he hissed at himself as he entered the coral reef that hid the secret grotto. Of course, she wasn't there. He didn't expect her to be but somehow Azul had been drawn to this place like a magnet. The octopus male floated down to the ground and let his winding tentacles carry him along the sand as he looked about the empty hideaway. Every keepsake was in its place even the photo that Floyd had borrowed had been returned to its shelf. The bed that Cowrie was set up looked a bit unkempt though. Without a second thought, two of Azul's tentacles reached over and straightened it up as he muttered about its state being unacceptable. That's how Azul's restless night started...about half an hour later, the Leech brothers had found their octopus friend outside the coral reef, earnestly hunting for something. They quietly spied on him with mischievous curiosity for a few minutes. They watched him as he muttered to himself, carefully inspecting every little shell or trinket he picked up from the sand, only to throw back anything that didn't satisfy his unspoken quest. A few of his tentacles held bits of brightly colored coral branches or shells that he eventually took into the grotto. After a few minutes, he swam back towards the Mostro Lounge.
The twins quietly peeked inside the grotto and found that not only had Azul straightened the bed but he placed all of the shells and things he collected strategically throughout the cave so that they could catch the glow of the anemone-like lights just right, giving it a more pleasing aesthetic. Jade and Floyd shared a look that made both of their faces break into devilish grins.
"Heeeeeh...?"
"Oyaaa?"
Their musing was suddenly interrupted by an embarrassing wail.
"J-Jade! Floyd! What are you two doing here?!" Azul's face was a deep purple. In his hands was the music box Elise had sold to him, nestled safely inside a bubble to keep the water out. The eels nearly burst.
"Ooooh Azuuuul....you're building Octi-chan a nest? Are you tryna court her?!" Floyd giggled wildly.
Jade touched a finger to his chin as his face kept its wicked smile, "My, my...our Dorm Leader is serious."
Azul huffed as he fought the urge to blast both of their smug faces full of ink, "I am trying to make this dreary hole more suitable for Elise and Luna, who are going to be staying here for a good amount of time, thank you very much! Honestly Floyd, as her mate, I'm surprised you didn't think to do the same for Luna yourself."
Floyd just rolled his eyes, "Pffft, says you. I cleaned my side of the room, got extra snacks, and threw extra pillows on my bed so she'd be nice and comfy!"
Jade chuckled, "It's true. He did. I must say I was quite impressed."
Azul floated past them and gently placed the music box down by the bed after casting a waterproof enchantment on it, "A sweet gesture, Floyd, but if you think that you can sneak Luna into your room without causing a commotion, then I'm afraid you're very wrong. No one must know that the girls are here. Ever. She's staying here with Elise and that's final."
Floyd's protests fell on deaf ears but after enough whining and threatening to skip out on every shift at the Lounge Azul gave him, Azul finally caved and agreed that Floyd, at the very least, could visit the girls after curfew. As long as he didn't get caught. Or skip out on class the next day. OR keep Elise from getting proper rest. There were probably more stipulations but frankly, Floyd had stopped listening. Instead, he followed the current wave of capriciousness that had him buzzing.
"You know, Azul...now that Jade and I have made and presented our courtship gifts properly...if you need some adviiiiice~" Floyd had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face that Azul had ever seen.
"Enough out of you two! Go back to your rooms at once!"
His face was practically glowing as Azul shuffled out of the grotto and began trying to swim back to the dorms. It was exact moments like this that he wished he were a much faster swimmer. Instead, reality had him locked between two teasing eels taking their sweet time swimming alongside him as he struggled to get ahead of them.
-
Deep in the Coral Sea, another secret cave opened for the first time in a while. The long shadow that greeted the strange little creatures stuck clinging to the cave floor, walls, and ceiling made them shrink back and quiver in their slimy little forms. A dark chuckle left Proteus' lips as he floated by them going deeper into the den.
"Now, now...is that any way to greet your master who has so kindly given you shelter? There are far worse prisons I assure you."
The strange, almost humanoid sea polyps couldn't make a sound aside from the somber screeches that left their strange mouths. The sadistic ray ignored them for the most part as he entered the deepest part of his hidden vault of creatures. This was his carefully built and curated collection and while not every single piece held his attention or dark affections after he used his own personal magic to entrap them in this state, there was one very special creature that he visited the most...his favorite little 'diva'.
Proteus settled on the smooth stone floor in front of a giant shell that held one particular polyp in a large bottle. The ray's grin widened as he peered through the glass, "Good evening, Madam. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I do hate to neglect you so but really it's your own fault for misbehaving. Honestly...why keep denying the Don what he wants? You could have everything you ever wished for..." he cooed to the small, stripped specimen.
This feminine creature refused to look at the ray but instead shrunk as far back away from him, coiled up on herself like a snake, as she possibly could. A typical reaction, definitely not surprising but Proteus' smile didn't budge whatsoever.
"In fact," he continued as he traced his long claws along the aged necklace that had been tied around the bottle, "I have some very good news for you...your son is coming home."
This caused her pair of large round eyes to quickly lock onto him. The exact reaction he wanted, "Well, that's our hope anyway. We do look forward to a glorious revival for the Muraeni House with our dearest Seven taking the reins in his capable claws...however, he won't do it unless you help us, Madam. And you will won't you?"
The tiny creature seemed to rile up and hiss at him through the glass in protest. She whipped her tiny tail-like appendage against her prison as if it were Proteus' face directly within her reach. Such spirit after all these years. This was a good sign.
Proteus's sharp teeth linked together like a wall of daggers as his smile stretched wider, almost insanely, "You've always wanted what was best for him, isn't that right...?"
The crescent moon pendant dully clinked against the glass as Proteus continued to teasingly poke, twist, and turn it about in his fingers that promised to crack it the instant he wasn't given exactly what he wanted. The female polyp could see it and soon curled back upon herself in despair.
"We do so appreciate your cooperation, Mistress Junonia."
Tagging: @nuitthegoddess @honey-milk-depresso @ladyrosemoon @iscarlettappel @foxwitchaine @victoria1676 @evieyouknow @feldya @wysteriadelights @1ndigowitch @aiimee9
#neoninky#twisted wonderland#sacred crown chronicles#her lost voice#twst canon x oc#octavinelle#cerulamare#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#the cerith siblings#luna cerith#cowrie cerith#indigo cerith#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#twst oc schools#under the sea mafia#more eel mermaids
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raven-san, can we please have a wedding crashing where jade needs to marry this girl from another crime family to consolidate power and become the next head of the leech mob :)) but floyd's like I'M BORED and annoyed that his brother's being snatched up by a random chick, so he asks basketball bros, and azul, to help save jade?
This one is super long, so I added some extra sections and placed the rest of the wedding crashing below the cut!
***Spoilers for Jamil and Floyd’s Unique Magic!!***
"I object to this wedding...!"
Pre-Wedding Jitters
A call comes for the twins in the dead of night, without warning. It’s their parents with exciting news: they’re naming Jade as the next Don Leech. The catch? The Leech mob’s in the middle of a merger with the Worm mob, and he’ll have to marry Don Worm’s daughter to secure the deal.
Jade, ever the dutiful son, is honored by his future title and calmly agrees to the arrangement. On the other hand, Floyd’s annoyed by the idea, and can’t keep quiet about his irritation. He calls out to his twin in the darkness.
“... Ne, Jade.”
“Ee, Floyd?”
“Are you really okay with going through with this? You’re just gonna do what they said? Even though you don’t know the Worms at all? Even if you’ve never met that girl before?”
“It is a request coming directly from father and mother. How could I refuse them? And, furthermore... If I do not undertake this task, then it would fall to you, the next choice to inherit the title of Don Leech. I cannot allow that to come to pass--fufu. You do so enjoy your freedom, yes?”
“... Jade, you’re so dumb sometimes. What’ll happen to your freedom, then? Will you get so busy with being the big boss and being married... that you won’t have time to play anymore?”
“... Perhaps. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”
That thought doesn’t sit well with Floyd--not at all.
“I trust that you will make your own fun of the situation,” Jade reassures him. “You always do.”
As the weeks pass, Floyd sees less and less of Jade around, since he has to prepare for the wedding. Jade reassures him that he’s doing just fine, but Floyd can see right through his lies. He can tell that Jade’s more frazzled than usual--there’s a lingering to his words, and a longing in his eyes, savoring every last bit of autonomy he has before his fate is forever sealed.
Floyd hates it. He hates being lied to by his own brother, and he hates feeling powerless to stop the wedding. Floyd’s so angry that he develops this murderous aura in the weeks leading up to the wedding, which makes everyone around him shy away.
One day, he gets sick of being in the water--it’s a reminder of the wedding to come--so Floyd plays basketball on land to vent. He ends up chomping down so hard that he deflates a ball, then dunks another basketball so hard, he breaks the net.
He sprawls out on the ground and angrily shouts at the sky. His basketball bonks him on the head... and that’s when an idea hits him: maybe he can’t stop the wedding alone, but no one said he couldn’t phone some friends.
Assembling the Dream Team
Floyd first dials up Azul, who agrees to help after some whining and signing a contract agreeing to pay Azul handsomely for his services (... although truthfully, the octopus does want to help Jade, but doesn't immediately agree to do it because of his pride as a businessman).
Floyd also calls his old basketball buddies for help! Jamil and Ace are much more adamant than Azul, but Floyd strongarms them into pitching in. ("Umihebi-kun, Kani-chan, if you don't help me rescue Jade, I'll get suuuper mad, you know? I don't think you'll like me when I get mad. Moray eels are strong hunters, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem for me to track you guys down and give you a good squeeze~" "OKAY, OKAY, WE'LL DO IT!!")
Together, the four boys meet up to scheme of a way to disrupt the wedding without jeopardizing the Leech mob's future. Floyd actively leads the discussion, allowing his hidden genius to come to the surface.
Ace doesn’t contribute much to the strategy (laid out by Azul), but he does keep the spirit up with some jokes. Meanwhile, Jamil provides snacks for them when they work late into the night (though he keeps passing semi-glares to Azul whenever the octopus compliments him or tries to be friendly).
In preparation for the crashing, Azul brews some potions to give Jamil and Ace so they can take on temporary merforms. After all, the wedding will be underwater, in the Coral Sea, and they’ll need tail fins.
The date of destiny draws ever closer... and Floyd's never been so excited to cause chaos in his whole life.
The Crashing - Team Azul & Jamil
They split into two pairs on the day of the wedding—Azul and Jamil, and Floyd and Ace. Floyd uses his position as the future son-in-law to Don Worm to arrange a meeting between himself and the don... except Azul and Jamil will show up instead.
Don Worm shows up to the meeting in his finest clothes (which is very little, given that he’s a merman), sounding a bit annoyed the sudden summoning. “Make this quick, I’ve got to go see my baby girl’s big day... Wait. You fellas aren’t the F. Leech boy.”
“No, we aren’t, sir. We are his representatives... Proxies, if you will,” Azul insists, giving his warmest and most welcoming smile. He uses a tentacle to tug on Jamil’s tail, forcing him to smile too. “You see, there is an important business matter we needed to discuss with you on behalf of Floyd.”
“Hoh? And what would that be?”
“I believe my business associate would be better off explaining the matter than myself.” Azul gestures to Jamil, who has his head down.
“Oi, what’s with you? Don’t you know who I am, boy? It’s rude to not look your elders in the eye when they are speaking to you!! Show me the respect I deserve, from one professional to another!!”
“My apologies, sir.” Jamil looks up, locking eyes with the mob boss. “... Is this better?”
“Yes, that’s...”
“Snake Whisper.”
Don Worm suddenly goes glassy-eyed and slack-jawed. Azul claps at the sight, showering his partner with compliments. “As expected of the talented Jamil-san! Even one look from you can bring a mafia lord to his downfall. Truly, your Unique Magic is most impressive!”
“Save your flattery for later.”
Azul’s lips curl into a smirk as he whips out a golden contract from his briefcase and offers it to the don. “Now then, if you wouldn’t mind, sir... sign on the dotted line.”
The Crashing - Team Floyd & Ace
Ace and Floyd rush to the wedding venue, their tails cutting through the water like knives as they swim at a breakneck pace. Ace can barely keep up with Floyd, who surges far ahead.
“H-Hey, should we really be barging in like this?! Don’t mob families have weapons and other dangerous stuff? Is there a backdoor we can take instead? Hello?! Floyd-senpai, are you listening to me?!” (He isn’t.)
The open, underwater comes into view, and Floyd barrels in without any hesitation, tearing right through some decorations and knocking over the wedding cake with his tail. A loud CRASH! echoes through the waters, drawing eyes to him.
Jade stares at his brother from the altar—wide eyed, but a mirthful smile on his lips. Floyd waves to him, and then to his mom and dad in the crowd of guests. “Hiii, Jade! I’m here to pick you up now.”
The Worm girl starts sobbing, wailing something about how her special day’s been ruined, and where is her papa to put an end to this? At her signal, security guards, and some of the rougher looking guests—Worm family associates—lunge at Floyd, claws and teeth out. A few of them have produced wands, and what seem to be guns—loaded with harpoons.
“Bind the Heart!” Objects and stray magic go flying in all directions, hitting both people and wedding decorations. Cloth tears, columns crumble—but it’s one man against many, and he can only bind so many hearts before the blot starts to stack.
Ace makes it just in time, sending their foes and their weapons hurtling through the water with a blast of wind. “This is why I said to be careful, dammit! Your Unique Magic’s such a crapshoot—don’t just use it whenever, or you’ll be sushi!!!”
“Ahahahah! Kani-chan’s being all heroic today! That’s so cute. Don’t worry, I can play my part, too...!!”
Using his tail, Floyd hooks around a drifting merman and chucks him straight into another. They collide with a CRACK!—but Floyd barely registers it. He’s already bolting off, grabbing heads and smashing them together, slicing through others like a knife through butter.
There’s a crazed, frenzied look to him, gleeful laughter cutting through the waters and mixing with the Worm bride’s screeching. I forgot how scary Floyd-senpai can be, Ace realizes. (Jade and Floyd’s parents are cheering for him from their seats.)
Jade looks quite proud of his brother, even laughing along to the brutal slaughterfest. His bride stares at him incredulously. “Stop that brute! He’s ruining MY special day!!”
“No,” Jade replies calmly. “I don’t think I will. This is far too amusing to let it end so soon.”
She lets out a frustrated scream and launches herself at her groom, hands going for his throat. The Worm girl is slammed back with a strong hit to her gut, courtesy of Jade’s tail.
She flies back, slamming into a column—and feels a tail wrapping around her and squeezing tight. Constricting her to the point where it was difficult to breathe. A livid mermaid glares down at her, teeth bared in a snarl.
“No one lays a hand on my children,” Mama Leech declares. “No one.”
From the corner of her eye, the Worm girl can see that Jade has cast off his bow tie and flitted over to Floyd, embracing happily in a battlefield adorned with red ribbons trailing through the water. Her vision is abruptly blocked off by a broad-shouldered merman wearing a grimace.
“Now then, what shall we do with this one?” Papa Leech wonders aloud—though from his tone of voice, he has nothing good in store.
The Aftermath
“You’re all fish bait when daddy hears about this...!” the Worm girl warns, her words raspy. “Th-The merger won’t go through...! There’ll be war between the Leeches and the Worms...!”
A loud throat clearing comes from behind. “Fortunately, that won’t be happening.”
Azul and Jamil make their appearance, the octopus merman smugly showcasing a contract. “Ashengrotto—Azul Ashengrotto, legal and business extraordinaire at your service, Don Leech and Lady Leech.”
Papa Leech grunts. “What’s that you’ve got there?”
“This?” Azul’s smirk widens. “Why, it’s a prenuptial stating that, in the case that an act of violence is enacted by the bride toward the groom, the marriage is considered null and void... and the bride’s family assets are to be claimed by the groom. Signed by Don Worm himself.”
“Wh-What?! Impossible!! How did you get daddy to sign such a stupid deal?!”
“Oh,” Jamil says nonchalantly, “we have our ways.”
“So... Uh, Jade-senpai’s still gonna be the next Don Leech?! And he’s gonna be in charge of an even bigger and richer family... How is that any better than the situation before?! You’re just giving him more resources for committing crimes!”
At that moment, two hands come down on Ace’s shoulders, causing him to freeze up.
“Kani-chaaaaan! Everyone!! Thanks so much for your help~”
“Yes, you have my sincerest thanks, Ace-san, Jamil-san... Azul.”
“It is my pleasure to assist such VIP clients. Ah, but there remains the matter of my promised payment—” (Jamil and Ace internally groan at Azul’s words.)
“Payment?” Don Leech scoffs. “After the ballsy operation you boys pulled off today... I’m more inclined to give you job offers instead of a one time sum. How do you lads feel about being hired as the Leech family’s personal lawyer, interrogator, and... well, whatever the heart one is good at.”
“My, my! Such a generous and lucrative offer—“
“There is no way I’m accepting that, especially if that means working with Azul.”
“Oi, I’ll have you know I’m good at lots of stuff!! I’m the one that saved Floyd’s tail fins, is no one gonna acknowledge that?!”
“You did amazing, sweetie!!” Mama Leech chirps—her tail grip tightening until the Worm girl passes out. Ace leaps back in fright. “As a reward, why don’t you let me give you a hug?”
“S-STAY BACK!!”
“Ahahahah! Everyone’s getting along so well, Jade. Isn’t this fun? You wouldn’t be able to enjoy this if you had gone to get hitched.”
“Fufufu. You are correct, Floyd. How sad it would have been if I were to miss out on touching moments such as this. From the bottom of my heart... I thank you for thinking of me, and for rushing to my aid. I could not have asked for a better brother.”
... What Floyd doesn’t know is that this was all according to keikaku Jade’s own machinations. He would never take the order to marry lying down—but he couldn’t outright defy it without immediate consequences, either.
Thank the Great Seven Jade has reliable puppets friends to help him out of a pinch. I’ll be certain to put the additional funds we have gained to good use... Perhaps to start a little mushroom farm.
#Floyd Leech#Jade Leech#Azul Ashengrotto#Ace Trappola#Jamil Viper#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#wedding crashing#spoilers
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okay this needs to happen
EelReed hypokits
MY FAVORITE RAREPAIR PART 2
So this one is more AU than the other
Cause I imagine Eel and Reed got together long before Apple ever tried to to date Reed so Applefrost, Willownose, and Shyheart never happen
Instead we have Cherryheart
she's a chimera kitty and she's a trans molly [she/her]
she was born the same day as Mapleshade's kits - Patchkit, Petalkit, and Larchkit. Appledusk, aware of what this would mean, goes out of his way to convince Mapleshade to move to RiverClan, which she opposes to multiple times.
Eventually she has no other choice and the two work together to get the ThunderClan queen and their two kits over to RiverClan.
Cherrykit is happy to have three knew friends / playmates and she strikes it off well with them. She's especially close to Patchkit and the two bond, Cherry herself believing she's a tortoiseshell like he is.
Mapleshade, thinking herself a better mother with better kits, isn't so find of Cherrykit and will keep finding ways to draw her kits away, leaving Cherrykit alone.
This makes the nursery a struggle, but soon enough the four are six moons old, meaning they can all hang out!
except.. To show loyalty, Mapleshade is made a mentor.. Specifically she's Cherrypaw's mentor.
Mapleshade isn't the kindest molly and every time Cherrypaw thinks she's caught a break to be with her friends, Mapleshade ends up dragging her away to train or hunt.
It gets to the point that to spend time with anyone, Cherrypaw and the other apprentices sneak out.
It's around this time and during these secret hang outs that Cherrypaw and Patchpaw develop crushes on each other
The two are super close and soon enough Mapleshade notices.
Mapleshade takes to threatening Cherrypaw, warning her to not try to ruin her son's chances of being the best warrior he can be. Cherrypaw is confused and frustrated.
She chooses not to listen to Mapleshade.
Close to her warrior ceremony, Cherrypaw and Patchpaw are out playing, having slipped away from their patrols and spending time in the water with each other. The two have been abandoning their patrols to hang out for a while now.
Mapleshade finds them and she's not pleased. She shoos Patchpaw back to his mentor and turns to Cherrypaw, demanding to know if this was what she was doing when she was supposed to be providing for her Clan.
Cherrypaw tries to defend herself, only for Mapleshade to attempt to drown her right there by the river.
Mapleshade is only stopped when Patchpaw, who had turned around to try to make sure he didn't get Cherrypaw in trouble, rushes in and pushes his mother off of Cherrypaw.
Stunned, Mapleshade tries to act like nothing happened, but it's hard to believe her.
Patchpaw tries to get Cherrypaw back to camp so that they can tell Darkstar, but the idea of him knowing has Mapleshade hiss.
She lashes out, springing after Cherrypaw, telling Patchpaw that no one will be saying anything.
Once more, she goes to try to kill Cherrypaw, believing that her silence will make Patchpaw listen to her more - that he'll go back to his 'mama's boy' ways - but shock takes over when Patchpaw attacks her again
He's only trying to free Cherrypaw, but one wrong move from Mapleshade while he swiped at her with unsheathed claws leads to him fatally wounding his own mother
A patrol happens upon them as Mapleshade is dying
Both apprentices are too shocked to explain what happened at first. It's not until they're in front of Darkstar that they manage to explain anything, though both are badly shaken by the experience.
In the end, they get to stay, but Patchpaw never shakes the memory.
The two never end up becoming mates as warriors, but do stay close friends
#hypos#hypokits#eeltail#reedshine#warriors#warrior cats#not like my others#but i had a specific idea for her
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The Daily Hardship of Loving You
Dastardly Danny x reader
Danny is love, Danny is life. Who wouldn’t want to be saved by this wonderful rat?
This is another trade with @greaser-wolf ( so freaking excited for this trade man it’s gonna be amazing!!). Part of this scene is from the movie Suicide Squad, where Joker comes in to save Harely (btw I am not comparing Danny to Joker, Danny will treat you like gold, not like trash). I love writing action scenes and partners working together and supporting each other!! This my weakness. Hope you guys enjoy!
⚠️WARNING: ⚠️This fanfic will have explicit words and violence, viewer discretion is advised. Also a lot of angst!
Big Mama’s words will be colored green
Word Bank:
Zoot Suit- A certain style of a suit
Tawdry- made out of cheap or poor quality
Pennies from heaven- Easy money
Passing the buck- Placing the blame on someone or something
The crowd cheered and booed around you as you stepped in the Battle Nexus sitting area, the foul air of sweat and snacks from the concession stand filled your nose as you took in the fight below you. The atmosphere around you was warm and rigid as you eyed the crowd, your eyes landing on Big Mama on her throne, her six red eyes darting back and forth.
Your head turned to look down at the fight below, the two yokai’s fighting were at each other’s throats, their weapons clashing against each other’s as dirt clouds danced around them.
This was only the first match, you and the boys had the whole night to do this plan perfectly.
You slowly turned yourself around and away from the yokais, the keys you had swiped jiggled in your pocket as you went down the stairs.
For weeks you had been working for Big Mama, just like the Mud Dogz, but you were a shiftly one and was able to gain her trust, the keys to her vault below the Battle Nexus practically falling into your hands. Of course you knew about the vault she had in her hotel, but Gus guarded that one like the loyal dog he was, but you knew he couldn’t be at two places at once.
You were on the first level now and took a hard right, your eyes falling on the three figures that kept their bodies within the shadows. You came to a halt next to them, your hand now wrapped around the keys as you threw them over to one of the shadows, his hand instantly coming up to catch them.
“Guessing you guys didn’t have much trouble?” You asked as the dark figures finally revealed themselves. The infamous Loathsome Leonard, Dastardly Danny, and Malicious Mickey came out in front of you, each having their own signature shit-eating grin. Leonard twirled the keys in his hands as they followed you to the basement door, “not at all, Big Mama’s guards don’t really know the difference between criminal and worker,” he joked.
You moved over so then he could unlock the door, your body slipping over to Danny as the eel and the ogre took the first few steps down into the underground.
“Where’s Big Mama?”
“Still sitting on her throne, watching as her subjects tear each other apart,” you laughed out as you trailed your fingertips against the brick wall, the indents and curves in the wall pushed against your hands. The tall rat took a hold of your hand as the stairs started to get steeper and the only source of light was from torches.
“I really don’t understand the whole torch in a secret basement thing.”
“It’s tacky.”
“I would’ve done glow worms.”
“But they wouldn’t stay in one place.”
“Exactly. It’s unexpected.”
You rolled your eyes as you all finally made it to the last step, stones surrounded you instead of dark bricks and a long hallway strolled in front of you. Danny stood slightly behind you, his thumb gently sliding over yours to show that he was still there. He didn’t say it, but he honestly didn’t want you to go on this mission. You were basically walking over landmines for them to get the keys to Big Mama’s secret vault, but if they were caught down here then you would be punished too, possibly far worse than the Mud Dogz since you had been working closely with the spider yokai.
The thought of it created a bad taste in his mouth and he quickly told his mind to think of something else, to think how after this he was going to take you to one of the best restaurants in town and buy you an expensive outfit to show you off in. His mind wandered to what kind of outfit would look best on you until you and the two other yokai’s came to a harsh halt.
All four of you had walked down the hallway and had come to a hard left where two yokai guards stood, behind them a huge metal vault door stood silently.
You eyed the two yokai, your minding working to see if they would be an easy or hard fight.
The rat laid his head on top of yours as you both continued to stare, a sneer rising against his face.
“Jeez, Big Mama must be desperate for new recruits to have two geezer’s watching over her dough,” he whispered, his breath and whiskers slightly tickled the top of your head and you gently shook him off, mouthing sorry as he gave you puppy dog eyes.
Leonard looked at the ancient weapons the yokai’s were holding and then back at the gang.
“Alright, Danny, you’re going to go up to them and distract them-”
“Hold up, why me?”
“Because you got that suit, make ya look like the richest one out of all of us.”
“Well it is a zoot suit. I’m also an ace at persuading people.”
You let out a tch as he puffed out his collar, his eyes falling onto you.
“Mickey and I will come up when you got them distracted and then Y/N will open the vault up with the passcode.”
The eel next to you snapped a bolt between his nubs as you gave a small nod, your hand landing gently on Danny’s back before he got up.
“Hey, be careful.”
He gave you a charming smile as he took the hand that was on him and gave a light kiss, his whiskers once again tickled your skin.
“Always, love.” And then he came out from the corner and headed over to the two guards, his voice flaring throughout the basement like a singer at a concert.
You could barely make out what he was saying to the yokai’s, but you could make out the words clothes, Big Mama, and tawdry. Of course he would spark up a conversation with those two about fashion.
A minute barely passed as Leonard and Mickey walked away from you, their bodys sticking to the walls like glue as they stalked over to the distracted yokais. They pounced right before the two guards had time to react, Mickey taking out one with his electric shock and Leonard busted one in the back of his head, both of them falling as Danny ended a corny one-liner about them.
One of them smacked up against the keypad that was behind them, sending off a loud alarm in the tunnels.
You sprinted behind them and quickly pulled one of the guard’s keycards, scanning it and quickly typing in the code to turn off the system and the alarm.
“Do you think anyone heard that?”
“No, and Big Mama won’t get a warning about it. It has to go off for a long while before she gets notified about it.”
The Mud Dogz let out a relief sigh as you pushed the vault door open and you entered into a golden palace. Piles of gold, cash, unicorns, and armor that looked like they were dipped into liquid diamonds were all placed in long rows. Each one of your mouths dropped at the beautiful sight, Mickey the only one squealing in glee as he dove into one of the many loose piles of unicorns and cash.
You didn’t know that Big Mama had this much cash, but it didn’t surprise you either; with her cheating on the Battle Nexus and bleeding customers and opponents dry, you wondered if she had multiple vaults hidden within the city.
Your ears perked up as Danny let out one of his roaring laughs as he dug his fingers into one of the several piles of golden coins.
“OOOH boys we’ve hit the jackpot! It’s practically pennies from heaven!” He cheered out and then he wrapped himself around you, planting a tender kiss against your lips. You took in his sign of affection and kissed him back, your middle finger flying up as Leonard and Mickey let out fake gagging noises. Danny broke the kiss for just a second to whisper against your lips.
“It’s all thanks to you, doll.”
You let out a shy giggle as you felt your face go red with appreciation, you could never get used to how Danny treated you, it had only been a few months of dating and the yokai made you feel more respected and loved than any kind of royalty. His hand stayed wrapped around your hip as Leonard pulled out the infinite small vacuum he bought in Witch Town, the magical machine swiftly sucking up every last drop of gold, silver, and diamond until there was nothing left but the afterdust of the treasure.
The battle above you roared and stomped louder as another fighter was taken down by the champion, you were honestly surprised that none of the wealth done here was painted with blood.
You couldn’t help but feel good about this, even proud. You craved for appreciation from Danny, from his friends, to the point that it almost blinded you from the trouble ahead. As Leonard placed the vacuum back in-between his shoulders, you all made your way back to the entrance of the safe.While Danny gave you his hand to help you up, Mickey looked behind with a nervous smile.
“Ah, there were two guards, right?”
“Yes.”
“Oh that’s bad.”
You looked over from your place inside the door and only saw the yokai Mickey had knocked out, while the other one had disappeared.
“Ah, I say we make it like dogs and run!” Danny ordered and you all quickly leapt off the safe door and sprinted down the hallway, your feet barely touching the ground as you kept up with the Mud Dogz. When you made it to the door, you weren’t at all surprised when the knob didn’t give in to your force and you looked down at Leonard.
He got the hint and threw the bundle of keys back to you and you unlocked the door, your fingers barely pushing up against it so you could peek out. There was no sign of any yokai or Big Mama and you briskly got away from the door, the weight of the Mud Doz trying to peek out as well almost drowning you.
They each gave their own sheepish smile as you glared at them and continued to look around. This was...strange. The only thing you could think of was that the guard went straight up to Big Mama to warn her, which meant you and the guys were gonna to be in deep shit in about five minutes.
The crowd was barely a buzz in your ears as you followed them through the building, the lights from the Battle Nexus painting inself across your body like lights.
The four of you were almost to the exit of the Battle Nexus when a large guard came in front of your path, your feet coming to a slamming halt before you could run into the bug yokai. You took a step back as he took a step forward, your body instantly bending down as he swiped at you.
More bug guards came around almost every hidden corner, giving each member of the group someone to fight. But, more and more kept coming, until you were surrounded. Each of you let out a litter of cuss words as you tried to push past, but there was no way out. Danny stood next to you, his arm barely lifted up as a form of protection. Fear screamed its way into your blood, your head racking through itself at how this plan had failed, how this could possibly be your fault for not double-checking things. And when Big Mama rounded the corner, you wondered if you would make it out alive.
Danny couldn’t help but swallow as the spider yokai walked in, her long legs creaking against the concrete floor. His tail encircled itself around your ankles as Big Mama’s henchmen came closer, their eyes like daggers stabbing it each and every one of them. He knew he should’ve told you to stay out of this one, he knew that something always bad happened to them, and now you were caught in the middle.
“Ah! If it isn’t my wonderful yokai’s, the Mud Dogs. And my new assistant,” the female cooed as she switched to her human form. She circled around you, as if you were prey and she was a predator, even though all four of you towered over her with her being human. The anger that was held within her eyes blazed into you as she stalked over to you, her finger wiggling in your face as if you were a child.
“Now, now, aren’t you a little disappointment,” she hissed, a slim finger curled under your chin and you quickly shook it off, your eyes narrowing at the woman. Big Mama only let out a rough chuckle as she snapped her fingers and you were separated from the Mud Dogz, your body barely having time to react as you gripped onto Danny’s hand. Danny instantly reached for you, the strength in his hand curled into your slipping hand as the guards came in between you two.
“Hey! Let go!”
“You keep yer slimy hands off of them!”
Leonard and Mickey lunged to help Danny keep ahold of you, their hands batting off the bug’s arms from the rat’s suit. You let out a cry as you felt the rat’s hand slip out of yours and the bug interlocked their arms around yours and slowly started to pull you away, Big Mama following behind them.
“Finish them for me, I’ll deal with this one.”
Anxiety raced through Danny’s body as they placed their hands around you, dragging you away from them, from him. He couldn’t stop himself from watching you struggle in their grip, small grunts hissing out of your mouth as you were pulled further and further away from him.
Rage didn’t even cover what coursed through his body, the blood within his veins almost boiled to the point of a fever as his nails dug into his hands. His eyes turned to Leonard and Mickey, and both of them looked at each other, because for a split second, they believed they saw murder within the rat’s eyes. Danny gave his friend’s one look and Leonard and Mickey nodded to the silent order that the rat gave and they each turned towards one of the guards.
You could barely see past the broadening shoulders of the soldiers, but you heard the brawling of fists and the heavy breaths from a fight. You struggled within the hold and then stomped your foot against the guard’s foot, your arm coming free to slam into the other guard’s face. The pain that pulsed through your hand was dull as you turned around-
And watched as Danny’s limpless body hit the ground with a deadly thud.
For the first time, your mind went blank. You couldn’t focus on Leonard or Mickey or anything else around you except for Danny. He wasn’t getting up, why wasn’t he getting up, he had to get up.
“DANNY!” You called for him, Big Mama’s arms capturing you as you tried to race over him. His name drilled out of your mouth like a siren. You’ve seen him get knocked out, beaten up in a fight, but not like this, the way his body slammed into the ground was an inhuman sound that burned your ears. Your arms swatted against Big Mama’s resistance as you continued to wait, you waited for him to wake up, to give a signal that he was fine, just one flick of your ear Danny!
“Danny! Danny get up!!” You wailed to him and you could feel the clear liquid spill from your eyes. Big Mama changed back into her yokai form and spat onto you, cobwebs spilling over your wrists and mouth. But that didn’t stop you calling for him, reaching for him over the spider’s shoulder as she took you away. You thrashed around in the grip, sobs now clogging your throat with no release as the guard you had hit lifted you up and turned the corner, your eyes never leaving Danny as you were dragged away.
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You blinked a few times as you took in the bright lights of the Battle Nexus. You believed it had been a few hours, but you honestly didn’t know. There were no more battles and the stands were empty, it was just you, a few guards, and Big Mama looming over you.
Your eyes felt raw with no moisture and your body went weak everytime they made you stand.
Your mind was still empty, even with the female spider talking your ear off with her weird words. Your legs ached from sitting on them and you could feel exhaustion come over you like a storm. Her webs were sticky and tangled within your hands, almost as if it was sinking into your skin.
If you were caught, what about the others? Wouldn't they be next to you getting the “big” talk from Big Mama. Or maybe there was no one left to talk to.
The images of Danny flashed through your head and you tried your hardest to keep the tears at bay. You didn’t know you could be so emotional over someone, but he was Danny, he was your Danny. You hated your mind for thinking was.
You felt heat vibrate against your face as the spider backhanded you, your eyes closing hard as you took in your surroundings and the pain.
“Were you even listening?!”
“Sorry, I don’t speak dog.”
Big Mama smiled at you and lifted her hand, your face scrunched up to prepare for the blow. But the woman turned around, her fingers instead messed with her outfit as she smoothed out the wrinkles.
“You won’t be saying that when you become a chew toy for my new Battle Nexus Champions,” she chirped, a wicked smile on her face as she walked away, the echo of her high heels ringing in your ears.
You didn’t listen as the woman gave specific orders about you to the guards, how once dawn comes, you will be nothing more than table scraps.
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to go. You were nothing more than a lying thief, you went behind yokai’s backs and would tear them apart until there was nothing left but the money in their pockets. Maybe your death will be quick, maybe Danny is waiting somewhere for you, it’s almost like you could hear him calling your name.
Wait a damn minute, you could hear it.
As the bug guards walked towards you, a knife struck the ground, barely a inch away from one of the yokai’s feet. You looked up to see one of the large flying birds that was used as transportation in the Hidden City, it’s bat-like wings flying effortlessly above the Battle Nexus as it came into view.
Music blasted into the circular arena and you quickly rolled forward with it, aiming the webs perfectly with the blade as it tore your bondage into two. The guards next to you went flying towards the wall, the sound pushing them against it. Once free, your hand pulled the knife out and raced over to the nearest thing to protection, a large shield with half of it buried into the dirt of the arena.
You gave a swift peek from behind the shield and watched as sound waves were perfectly aimed towards the guards that were rushing in, not even giving the yokai time to protect themselves. Confusion jittered inside of you as you finally looked up at who was on the birds.
You could make out the band members of DIGG and you could recognize the singer, Prairie Dog, singing her heart out into the mic as her band members played their instruments alongside her.
Big Mama came running into the arena and then was slammed into the wall by the bass of the music, the uncomfortable look on her face was unforgettable.
“Y/N!”
Your body instantly perked up. Your head poked out from behind the shield as you looked for him. It had to be him, you heard it, you knew that only one voice could say your name like that, to call your name as if it was a melody.
There he was, standing alongside Leonard and Mickey, beaten up and swollen, but as you watched his chest rise and fall and as he smiled when his eyes laid upon you brought everything back to you.
As ideas and thoughts raced through your head like a car track, you came out of your hiding spot to fully show yourself to him.
When you finally showed yourself to him, Danny swore that he felt like a whole new man. After you were taken away, Leonard and Mickey fought off the rest of the guards and dragged Danny out of the Battle Nexus and went to the closest place they could think of: The DIGGS apartment. Once he woke up and treated his wounds, all six of them came up with a plan to get you back, and after stealing a few birds from the stables, it seemed that they came just in time to get you.
One side of your face was red and a dried up blood trail went down from the corner of your mouth. But you stood tall, you stood proud to show him that you were okay, and that you were ready to get the hell out of there with him.
The sound of you screaming for him will never leave his head, for years to come he will think about it, even now just seeing you the flashes he barely saw during the fight when you were taken away crossed his mind. It was as if his heart was being scorched into charcoal.
Danny was known for holding the best promises, and once he got you back, he will promise you that you would never feel like that ever again.
And when you wake up in the morning after all of this, he will remind you that he is still there, and that he was not going to go anywhere at any time, not when he had you.
You had to find a way to get up to him, even with the music blaring the guards away, you noticed they were starting to break against the mold of the music. Then you saw the rope that Danny threw down, landing perfectly in the middle of the Battle Nexus.
“Come on, darling! I’m waitin for ya!”
You released a heavy sigh as you sprinted towards the rope, the wave blasts of music barely missing you as you felt the guards chase after you. Every fiber in you was being burned but you made yourself go faster, and once Big Mama started to spit webs at you, you made yourself do twists and turns to dodge them. She kept calling your name, saying what she will do to you will be far worse if you ran, but you continued onward.
Her words no longer mattered to you, nothing else mattered but one thing as you jumped onto the rope and out of one of the guard’s reach.
Him.
Leonard sent the bird up and flew you above the large coliseum, the DIGG band following gradually behind, giving out howls and thanking the guards and Big Mama for being a good audience.
Your fingers and waist were wrapped around the rope as you were taken over the city, you and the guys waved good-bye to the band DIGG as they flew back to their apartment and the ogre steered the bird towards home. You took in the musty and polluted breeze and looked up to see Danny looking down at you.
“Aren’t ya gonna climb up?”
“And risk falling? No thanks.”
He opened his mouth to answer back but you interrupted him by saying, “and don’t say you’ll catch me because last time that happened I fell on the floor while we were dancing.”
“Oh, that was one time, doll.”
“And it will be the only time I will get off this rope when we land.”
He let out a breezy chuckle as you situated his hat back on his head and then Mickey came into view, waving his left nub at you.
“Hiya Y/N! Did ya miss us?”
A faint laugh rumbled in your throat as you looked up at the Mud Dogz, at your boyfriend and your friends. Just mere hours ago you were crying, believing that they were all dead, that Danny was gone. And here you are, soaring over the city, a new enemy to track you down and an infinite pocket full of treasure. There were new tears sparkling in your eyes as you looked up at them.
“Of course I did.”
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Danny carefully wiped the cut that was on your arm outside of his apartment. Leonard and Mickey were counting and almost rolling in the money they had taken out of the vacuum. You had taken a shower once you got there, cleaning off the dirt and sweat, your new wounds stung against the hot water. After it, your boyfriend called you to the balcony of their apartment to clean your wounds in peace, but you knew it was to get you two alone.
You winced against his touch as he placed a binding around it, the alcohol burned into your body as he tugged your sleeve down.
He placed a tender kiss on your shoulder as a way to say sorry and started to examine another wound on your leg when you finally spoke.
“I thought you were gone.”
The rat paused in his place, the alcohol wipe in his hand had gone stiff. You looked away when he looked down at you, your eyes gliding over the hanging lights of the town, the liquid gold dripping over you and consuming you.
“I know that this life is dangerous, we’ve had our fair share of beat downs and injuries,” you commented, the laughs of your friends barely reaching your ear as you continued.
“But when I saw you go down, I thought that was it. No more heists, no more dates, no more seeing you every day, no more hearing your voice or dancing in the kitchen at one in the morning.” He held up a hand to calm you, but you continued, new tears spilling from your eyes.
“We never got to get married, to have kids, that I would never get to see you become a father and it killed me to the point that I accepted that Big Mama was going to-”
“Stop.”
You closed your mouth as Danny lifted your head up, his long fingers gently curling around your chin and you let out a heavy sigh as you dropped your weight into it, taking in his touch, the warmth in his hands. He put the medical stuff down and scooted himself closer to you, the shiny tears that shot down your face continued as his other hand ran through your hair and he kissed you.
Every kiss from Danny was different. There were the kisses before work, they were quick and meaningful, the kisses during good news, how he held you without effort and his mouth gave you goosebumps, as if he was saying good job within the kiss. The kisses in the bedroom were deep and he hunted for your lips every second to feel your moans, to taste his name on your mouth. And then this kiss, the kiss he gave when you came back to the apartment beaten up or when you both had a fight and he would crawl in bed, his tail lightly wrapping around you as you cave in and dashed into his arms, entangling your mouth with his.
It honestly hurt that he kissed you like this, the importance behind each one filled you up with love, with something you never had while on the streets, the one thing you’ll always be greedy for, not money or the adrenaline of being a thief, it was him.
When you separated, you swore that his eyes were watery, but he bent back down to go back to work on your wound. After he banaged up the last gash he turned back to you, his hands going into yours as he carelessly brought his face close to yours. His comforting scent slowed down your senses as his whiskers once again brushed across your face.
“I’m not going anywhere, doll. Not without you. So, don’t be worrying about marriage and children and stop passing the buck onto ya. I’m here with you, I promise.”
“Good, I need at least someone to handle these emotional outbursts.”
“Well, I do know a yokai that would do the job perfectly. He’s tall, got a tail, and wears a suit that makes everyone swoon.”
“Oh he sounds charming, can’t wait to meet him.”
“Me too, sweetheart.”
You giggled into his whiskers as his arm wrapped around you. As you got comfortable under his arm, Danny finally felt his body loosen up. He didn’t know that you felt like that, of course he knew that you cared, that you worried, but when the tears started to form and how each fear about him started to bubble up and out your throat.
He never knew his heart could break like that.
You were a whole new significance to him. He has had lovers, but no one like you, no one has stuck around as long as you, no one has talked about marriage or children with him. Even with being a criminal, Danny still wanted a family someday, and to hear that you wanted one with him was now going to be his reason to get up everyday, to get enough money until you both have enough to live without worry. Images of living somewhere with just you and your children came over him and he brought you closer.
You both still had a long way to go, your futures weren’t drawn-out and he feared that you wouldn’t be in his life in the long-run. But with how you curled into his touch and planted a kiss against his neck and then settled yourself into his chest, he knew he would fight for you. After today, he would fight for you and with you to reach what you wanted: Happiness.
#rottmnt#rottmnt mud dogs x reader#rottmnt mud dogs#tmnt#rottmnt dastardly danny x reader#rottmnt dastardly danny#rottmnt danny x reader#Spotify#rottmnt mud dogz#rottmnt mud dogz dastardly danny
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The Holy Quintet in Twisted Wonderland! (all 7 dorms - Part 2)
Now we have Kyouko’s reaction to the other dorms! Sorry that it took a whole weekend to edit this.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!
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Sakura Kyouko & the other dorms (except Savanaclaw)
HEARTSLABYUL!
Bless Sayaka for warning Kyouko in advance about the many, many rules of the Heartslabyul dorm. Riddle’s collar would probably latch on her if the redhead girl walk into the dorm lounge, screaming for Sayaka.
Now, before she was introduced to the seniors of Heartslabyul, Kyouko got to know Ace and Deuce. She easily got along with the two boys since they’re always around Sayaka. It didn’t take long before their trio to become a four member group and they can often be seen goofing off around campus and trouble usually follow after them.
Kyouko loves going along Ace’s crazy plans. After they accidentally destroy a shelf full of potions in the Alchemy lab, Ace immediately suggest they burn down the lab so Divus won’t find out that it was them. Kyouko was ready to use her Soul Gem as a flamethrower if it weren’t for Deuce and Sayaka.
(Expect Kyouko and Ace to be detention buddies, often)
Deuce treats Kyouko just how his Mama raised him to treat any other girls! Though once in a while, he couldn’t help but drop a cauldron on her whenever she and Ace are up to no good. Luckily he and Sayaka are the ‘chiller’ of the duo.
Trey and Cater got to know Kyouko properly only after Riddle’s overblot episode (she wasn’t with them when Sayaka went all out trying to ‘save’ their Dorm Leader). After the ordeal, the two of them were very grateful that Kyouko was no where near Heartslabyul when it happened). Trey is relief that Kyouko took Riddle’s light chatises over how she eats and etc without a fuss, sometimes she would even tease him back. A good thing that Riddle is now more acceptable to friendly affections and interactions from others. Sometimes if Trey is working in the kitchen and Kyouko swings by at Heartslabyul, she’s his food tester and helps out with the more heavy labour when it comes to cooking. Kyouko loves it!
Now, she’s not very big on the whole social media thing so by right, she shouldn’t have anything in common with Cater. But I can see that she loves music apart from food. So learning that Cater is the guitarist and vocalist for the Light Music club got her really interested. She wonders if she can learn to play musical instruments too. As for Cater, well, he’s more than happy to teach her how to play the guitar (even encouraging her to join his club) and they tend to take selfies together.
Seeing that Kyouko is genuine and serious about the Light Music club hurried him to introduce her to Kalim and Lilia. Kalim is more than happy to teach Kyouko what he knows too and Lilia always wanted to know more about Madoka’s friends.
The result? Apparently joining the Light Music club is the first step for Kyouko to actually enjoy being a student for once in her life.
OCTAVINELLE!
Listen, no one could’ve predicted how Kyouko would got herself entangled with the mermafias and the whole Octavinelle dorm, alright?
See, while Kyouko just got out from the cafeteria - her arm holding a paper bag filled with food for herself, Ruggie and Jack back at their dorm - she caught a flash of pink walking by. Oh look, there’s Madoka! Alone and walking to meet up with Silver or Sebek, maybe. It’s so odd to see Madoka alone ever since they came to TW.
Anyway, poor girl was completely oblivious to a 191CM tall boy rushing towards her with a maniacal girl, arms wide open.
Kyouko is a more of ‘beat’em-now-and-think-later’ sort of girl. So please forgive her that the moment she intercepted the eel boy, her spear was already drawn out and proceeded to smacked him away - violently - like a baseball bat. Poor Floyd got the wind absolutely knocked out of him as he crashed to the Main Street.
“What were you planning to do to Madoka, hah!?”
Floyd could only whistle despite the pain flaring on his torso. So one of these pretty girls is super feisty, eh? He’s gonna have so much fun squeezing her!
Let’s just say the two got into a brawl that nearly destroyed the Main Street if it weren’t for Azul and Leona actually coming over and putting a stop to it.
(Leona doesn’t appreciate having to interfere in someone’s else fight, not when their Brawler could give Floyd a run for his madols, but he really had to pulled Kyouko away before Savanaclaw gets in trouble with the headmaster)
(Azul actually can’t believe there’s someone that could beat his tanker. He thought that the other girls would be like Homura and Madoka; cautious yet gentle. Clearly these girls are an odd bunch! He would need to carefully reevaluate his plans involving them now)
From that fight onwards, the two are constantly trying to beat the other once and for all. Floyd is living the life; finally a fun prey! For once, he needed to get creative. Squeezing doesn’t do much, not when Kyouko is just as strong and she could easily stab him with a turn of her large spear. She could dish out whatever attack his ‘Bind the Heart’ retaliate and quick on her feet against his elemental spells.
Kyouko finds Floyd a crazy yet seriously strong student. She has no idea what his problem is, but no way in hell will she back down or show that he unnerved her. Seriously, there’s something wrong with that guy and it’s not just his mood swings. The whole mermafia trio is creepy.
Jade wonders if his twin’s obsession with the Savanaclaw Brawler will end badly. Oh well, since the outcome is still murky, he’s fully planning to enjoy the show.
Jade will smirk whenever Kyouko scrutinised him. Clearly expecting him to behave like Floyd since they’re twins and all. It’s cute how he knew she wants to prod and poke him just to see if he’ll lose his composure and Jade appreciates that she holds herself back every time.
While Floyd went on a very direct approach to ‘befriending’ Kyouko, Jade is a subtle and nothing but polite. Enticing her with the menus of Mostro Lounge, the colourful drinks they served and sweeten his offers with a promise that Floyd won’t try to pick a fight with her if she dines at their café.
(Kyouko eventually caves in on the offer. Won’t you be too if Jade promise to cook you something?)
Azul wishes there’s some way he could properly learn about these girls apart from observing them in classes or their interactions with their dorm mates. After that fight at the Main Street, he underestimates just how much of a threat these girls can be. Especially Kyouko. Fortunately, Jade told him all about his offers and practically everyone in college knows about her love of food so Azul just had to wait.
The third Magical Girl to visit Monstro Lounge after Homura and Madoka’s tense dining experience is Kyouko. Azul is surprise to find her alone. He expects at least one of her friend to accompanied her.
Nevertheless, Azul is quick to muster up his gentleman-like behaviour and silver tongue to try and charm the redhead girl. Or at least get her to trust him a little. Throughout her visit in the café, Kyouko hardly complain about his treatment.
It’s only after she paid that she gets down to it. In a complete 180 turn, she asks Azul why he’s taking her for an idiot. That stumped the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle.
Kyouko didn’t bother to minced words; she told him that prior coming to TW, she lives on the street; never having a home. So she sees a lot of... unsavoury people who try to take advantage of a young girl like her. How the conmen with their honeyed words and parental-like sympathy would want to ‘help’ her. Kyouko knows very well what would happen to naive girls living on the streets. They won’t last a night.
And Azul? Azul is no different from those men the moment he smiled at her. Her words sting the octo-mer more than he would ever admit once Kyouko storms out of Mostro Lounge.
The Leech Twins are even more fascinated by Kyouko now while Azul and Kyouko barely acknowledged each other’s existence.
Kyouko has not step into the cafe ever since.
SCARABIA!
As a favour that she was willing to do for Homura, Kyouko in the end decide to cash it in when it comes to school work. Those History and Summoning classes are tough!
Since the aloof Magical Girl never invite any of the girls to her dorm, Kyouko decided to invite herself, unanounced. She always wanted to know what a dorm in a desert would look like. The sand soon irritates her after a while.
The students all directed Kyouko to a spot in the lounge that they all unofficially dub as Homura’s comfort space. Underneath a tapestry of a beautiful queen famous for her thousand stories, there’s Homura in her little nest.
Kyouko really doesn’t like Homura’s know-it-all attitude but for the sake of her homework, she grits her teeth as Homura explains again for certain subjects. The other students of Scarabia know not to disturb the girls. (words about Kyouko and Floyd’s fight quickly spread throughout college. So seeing her frustrated expression over her books were enough to drive away the Scarabia students).
Except for Kalim, of course.
The moment he and Jalim returned to Scarabia and a passing student mentioned that Homura has a guest, Kalim scurries off to meet up with them. Jamil follows after him in an exasperated pace.
Having gotten used to Kalim’s random, cheerful outbursts, Homura went with the flow as the Dorm Leader introduce himself and let Kyouko talk with him. Seeing that the two were studying, Jamil suggest rather than throwing a feast for Kyouko, why not they study together and Jamil can cook something quick for them to snacked on. That got Kalim and Kyouko on board.
With Kalim and Jamil between them, Kyouko and Homura kept their snark to a minimum level, to the point that Homura would actually smirk when Kyouko regale them of her misadventure with Ace, Deuce and Sayaka. Not long after, Kyouko begrudgingly throw a compliment about Homura, telling the two boys that although she might be stuck-up, Homura does know her stuff.
(Perhaps there’s hope for these two girls)
Kalim totally vibes with Kyouko. He loves how spunky, confident and funny she is! He loves her quick hugs whenever they meet up and always accepts an apple from her. If Kyouko loves to eat, then Kalim can’t wait to cook for her. The next time he throws a party, Kyouko would be one of his guest of honour for sure!
The first time Jamil saw Kyouko sparring with her dorm mates, she instantly reminds him of a scorpion. How she would thrust her spears from behind and he watched as the weapon retracted and pull back so smoothly. Fast and brutal, it fits her.
Compare to Homura, Jamil is internally grateful that Kyouko is such an open book. There’s no hidden meaning underneath her words, no need to feel like he’s squeezing blood out of a stone just to know something about her. As long as she’s not a threat to Kalim, Jamil honestly doesn’t care all that much about Kyouko.
Jamil is so used to cooking for a bunch of people at a drop of a hat because of Kalim and so he’s not too annoyed having to cook for Kyouko whenever she visits Scarabia.
Jamil is also aware that Kyouko and their Scarabia Raven doesn’t have a good relationship but that’s none of his business.
POMEFIORE!
If Heartslabyul was the first dorm that Kyouko is hesitant to visit, Pomefiore is the second.
Unfortunately, Mami wasn’t feeling well that day and it’s up to Kyouko to send over her school notes since they shared most of their classes together.
The moment she steps through the mirror and standing in front of the entrance of Pomefiore, she felt like a prey getting ready to be ambushed.
The pretty boys of Pomefiore whispers how glossy her red hair is; what product does she use? Do you think she’ll share the brand with them? Look at how powerful and confident her posture is, yet you can still see her feminine curves hold nothing back! Some wonders what her beauty and skincare routine are to be able to look so beautiful despite being a student from that roughhousing Savanaclaw.
Kyouko couldn’t help but shiver, her skin crawls when she heard the whispers. The boys are very eager to show her around their dorm but Kyouko awkwardly interrupted them. She’s just here to see Mami to pass her notes! Their insistent to help her out in every little thing creeps her out!
Her saviour came in the form of Epel Felmier. He remembers how awkward he felt after the sorting ceremony when the other Pomefiore students all crowd around him, praising him for his looks. So without hesitation, he slide in and loudly explain that Mami send him to pick her up. Kyouko is grateful for his intervention.
You can bet Kyouko feel something like a bull in a fine china shop the moment they head to Mami’s bedroom. Everything look so shiny... and expensive!
Kyouko help recap what she could remember in class to Mami when she pass along her notes before telling that she doesn’t believe Mami could get sick. Since they became Magical Girls, they rarely became ill. Mami assured her that she overworked herself a little, trying to keep up with classes and training Madoka and Sayaka.
(Yes, Vil had fussed over her when Mami told him this. He gave her a list that she must follow so she could resume her classes soon.)
In a rare gesture of thoughtfulness, Kyouko offer to take over their trainning while Mami rest up. This makes Mami very happy and when she express it, Kyouko scratch her head and look away, muttering that it’s only right.
When she left Mami’s bedroom, Kyouko throws an apple to Epel as thanks for helping her out earlier. This startles the boy and it sparks their friendship. He promises to teach Kyouko how to carved apples when they hang out next time.
Now, Kyouko likes to playfully tease Epel when he told her that he wanted to be sorted into Savanaclaw and that he wanted to grow some muscle. For all her teasings, she does invite him to her and Jack’s work out sessions. It makes him happy so why not? Just don’t tell Vil.
Since Kyouko very rarely visit Pomefiore, Vil and Rook heard of her through Epel and Mami. Vil and her doesn’t see eye-to-eye due to their personalities being on the opposite end of the spectrum. Kyouko absolutely have no patience to be groomed or lecture by Vil and whenever he sees her arm-wrestling with the other boys, Vil just shook his head at the lost of such beauty.
It’s a shame, Vil thinks. Kyouko is beautiful in a way that a ruby with a powerful fire inside is, but she’s just too... all over the place to even listen on how to put on a concealer properly.
Rooks finds her fiery spirit and compassion to her friends beautiful. Like a female warrior from Afterglow Savanna. It doesn’t let him down when Kyouko couldn’t appreciate him reciting a poetry that he wrote for her. At least the girl was kind enough to wait until he was finish before running off.
(Rook heard of the infamous brawl at the Main Street, too. Despite not being a beastmen, perhaps Kyouko is worthy of a hunt!)
IGNIHYDE!
Honestly, Kyouko actually forgot there’s seven dorms instead of six here at NRC. It’s not her fault that it totally slips her mind that Ignihyde exist! She hardly sees any students from that dorm around campus!
According to Ruggie, they’re the odd, shut-in types that rather spend their time with their techs than people. So a dorm full of shut-in nerds in Kyouko’s opinion.
Her opinion on Ignihyde changes when she spotted this tiny, blue robotic thing flitting around the college. The moment she spotted Ortho, her interest and attention is immediately on him.
At first, Kyouko doesn’t know what to make of him as he follows Ortho around curiously. Is he a toy? Some high-tech butler? Who made it?
(Kyouko is no Rook. So Ortho is actually aware that there’s someone been tailing him for a while now, but he lets Kyouko do what she wants, thinking they’re playing some sort of game)
In the end, Kyouko just laugh sheepishly when Ortho confront her, asking what game are they playing? She admits that she has never seen anything like him before back home.
Ortho, off course, wasted no time telling the Magical Girl that his big brother made him, how cool he is, maybe they could all play together and etc. The more Kyouko got to know Ortho, the longer she sense that this boy actually has a soul! This is not a robot, it’s a living person!
Utterly fascinate now (plus Ortho thoroughly charm her with how much he talks about his older brother. Heh, her little sister used to bragged about Kyouko to her little friends too...)
Kyouko and Ortho become friends and despite how rough she can be, she always make sure to treat the boy gently. She won’t admit it, but she loves babysitting him and Cheka, bringing them around campus to play. Sometimes, when she sits on the bench and watch them pick flowers near the garden of Pomefiore, she could see her little sister playing amongst them too.
Idia doesn’t really know all that much about Kyouko other than what he could find from his cameras and the bare-bone information from Homura. She’s strong. She often hangs out with those two boys from Heartslabyul and their Knight. She also possess one hell of an appetite.
So the moment Ortho burst into his bedroom, shouting about befriending the redhead girl, Idia has somewhat mixed feeling about their friendship. 1 - he worries that she would accidentally hurt him (Ortho doesn’t exactly have sturdy frames to withstand the strength of a Savanaclaw student). 2 - he doesn’t think he could handle having another pretty girl hanging around their dorm without wanting to crawl under his bedsheets forever.
He actually let out a relief sigh when Ortho told him that Kyouko won’t barged into Ignihyde if it makes him uncomfortable, but he hopes that Idia could play with them sometimes.
Idia promises that he will try to spend some time with them after Ortho told him how gentle Kyouko treats him and Cheka. How attentive she is to their presence despite looking bored.
In the end, Kyouko finds the Shroud brothers alright in her books. Idia might be the nerdiest of the bunch with a sweetheart of a little brother but she can respect a dude rocking out flames for hair.
(Idia probably self-combut if he knows that Kyouko thinks he’s cool for a nerd)
DIASOMNIA!
After she became a Savanaclaw student, Jack had onced told her that there’s beef between their dorm against Diasomnia. Something about how Diasomnia always beat them during the college’s inter-dorm tournament, yada yada yada. If those students from Diasomnia wanna spar sometime then she’s more than happy to kick their asses.
While walking back to her bedroom, she overheard a tense argument between Sebek and Jack that it suddenly became a point of the two challenging on another.
So an impromptu fight between the first year Savanaclaw and Diasomnia students are scheduled at the stadium on a Saturday night. No one really knows how the first year students kept the event hush-hush from the seniors or teachers but they managed to.
When the day arrive, most of the first year students from every dorm came to watch the fight.
Kyouko & Jack VS Sebek (& some random Diasomnia NPC). Madoka came as well but she doesn’t want to fight unless she absolutely has too and no one in Diasomnia has the heart to push their gentle Fairy.
The fight was brutal as the rounds went on into the night. Heartslabyul students cheer for their friends while having picnics on the bleachers, Scarabia students are trying to use Astrology to predict the winners while working along with the Octavinelle students who are running the bets, some Pomefiore students complain at how barbaric and unnecessary violent these fights are but stick around to take selfies with their friends and a couple of extrovert Ignihyde students are livestreaming the entire thing and doing commentary.
Homura, Sayaka and Mami are seated around Madoka. Sayaka cheer for Kyouko, of course.
When it comes to her fight against Sebek with Jack beside her, she just told him that she’ll handle the nameless Diasomnia NPC and detached her spear to attack.
It was amazing! Kyouko live for the rush and adrenaline of the fight! Looks like they were right - those Diasomnia folks are really strong! But other than strengths, can they keep up with her?
Kyouko knocked the nameless Diasomnia NPC out of the ring just in time to see Sebek raised his Magic Pen to call forth his lightnings. She cast a ward-like dome on Jack. When the smoke cleared, her ward remain standing.
“Sakura-san...”
“I get it, I get it. Beat his ass, Jack. I’ll cover for ya”
It’s almost easy, really. Jack and Sebek are evenly match and Kyouko kept her promise, only lingering away from the fight.
Funny enough, in the end, neither dorm wins when the collision of Jack’s fireball and Sebek’s lightning ray knock them both out of the ring. Even still, the audience cheer and instead of going back to their respective dorms, they actually gathered around and have a mini-party. Even the Pomefiore students were having fun.
With good food and drinks, the tension between Diasomnia and Savanaclaw disappear eventually. At least for tonight.
(the headmaster blows it when it was reported that the stadium is totally trashed. After that, news about that fight spread because of the livestreams. As punishment, the Savanaclaw and Diasomnia are tasked to fix the stadium. Much to the surprise of Leona and Malleus who were supervising the whole thing, their dorm mates are laughing and playfully shoving each other on the shoulders as they fix around the field.)
Malleus caught Sebek furiously practising with his sword and magic in the training hall of their dorm one day, his knight flustered and explain how masterful Kyouko wields her spear. He caught her deftly strike away every clash of the sword from the nameless NPC without breaking a sweat. It also infuriates Sebek that after knocking her opponent out of the battle, she easily snap her fingers and cast multiple powerful spells to shield Jack from his more deadly attacks.
The way how Kyouko wield her magic and weapon simultaneously without exerting herself had Sebek begrudgingly respect her.
When Madoka invited Malleus to her and Kyouko’s ice-cream trip, Malleus learn a little more about the Savanaclaw Brawler. She’s blunt, brash and doesn’t seem to be put off by him which is good. Though she completely steam-rolled his brooding murmurs. She admits that she doesn’t understand his fascination with gargoyles, but assures him that if they make him happy, then by all means, talk away!
Lilia find the fire of youths’ as well as their bout of recklessness refreshing. They make him feel younger. When he spotted how Kyouko’s charisma boost Madoka’s courage and confidence little by little, Lilia likens Kyouko to a fire that not only burn enemies to ash but is also a hearth that warms one’s home. At least for these young girls.
Like the rest of the students in NRC, Lilia has heard and seen the fight online. Kyouko’s battle was certainly impressive! In fact, it’s a good idea to have Sebek and Silver expand their sparring opponents so they could learn a thing or two. Especially from these girls.
Silver finds the whole secret fight pointless, but since Sebek felt so passionate at the time and it’s be done with, there’s nothing else he could add. He agrees with Lilia; it’d be nice if he could clash his sword against Kyouko’s spear. He finds the weapon’s ability to attached and detached at will fascinating. How does it work? What is its range? How big can Kyouko make them? How many can she summon them at once?
Kyouko agreed to spar with them sometimes if they paid her in food. Silver and Sebek hurried to stop Lilia from rushing to the kitchen when they heard her offer. Although Lilia pouts, the Vice Dorm Leader can easily fulfil their end of the bargain. So whenever they finish sparring, they would all sit down and munch on snacks and drinks.
After sparring for a couple of times, Kyouko finds that Sebek is actually alright. He’s just so loud and can be so passionate when it comes to Malleus. Cue teasing from Kyouko and trying to make Sebek blush whenever they hang out together. As for Silver, well, Kyouko wishes she has his ability to nap whenever and wherever without a care. Lilia is hard for Kyouko to figured out (just like Jade), but she does know that Lilia is genuine with his friendliness so she appreciates that.
All in all, the Diasomnia boys are the morbid sort of weirdness in Kyouko’s opnion, but pretty chill for the most powerful dorm of NRC.
And beside, it’s pretty funny to see them running around their dorm trying to figure out how to do their laundries or where their Dorm Leader is.
-
Alright, that’s a wrap for Kyouko’s part! Sorry again for the delay. This was supposed to be out in the weekend.
#twisted wonderland#puella magi madoka magica#puella magi holy quintet#Holy Quintet in TW series#crossover
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just some fluff - a little backstory of when aelar and celine were very, very young and how they first met. they’re around 7-8 here.
taglist (please ask to be added or removed): @oliver-von-seckendorff @cukibola @zelandiangelo @ncwrites @writings-of-a-narwhal content warnings: none. squeaky clean.
There is a girl who walks alone through the palace gardens. Her mother knows she will squirm around in her seat all eel-like if she stays there, so she sent Celine out to play in the garden. Celine counts the steps she takes - one, two, three, four - and tries to hop over every crack in the path. There are colorful flowers lining the small pathways down the garden that twist and turn so, but Celine knows her way. She wants to plant a garden of her own but has not asked her mother about it, so now her plan is to sit on the swing by her lonesome.
There’s already someone sitting on the swing. He’s dressed in a red kimono (that’s the name of the robe, she thinks) like the woman her mother was talking to earlier. He doesn’t swing but rocks back and forth on the rickety wooden thing, pencil held loosely in hand. His skin is tawny, charcoal-black hair hanging just a little in his eyes.
“Can I join you?” she asks. The boy looks up and doesn’t ask her why her hair is so short for a girl (she’s gotten that question before and while people nod and understand, she doesn’t like it when she gets asked that - she wants to grow it out, but only just started turning herself inside out) and nods.
“Mm-hmm.” There’s a small bench in the corner of this part of the garden - the part with roses in colorful bloom, so bold and bright in reds and whites and pink in the shimmering summer heat - so she seats herself there.
“What’s your name?” She asks.
“Aelar. Aelar Holimion. I’m here with Mama because she said she has a meeting with the queen of this place.”
“She must mean my mama, then - my mama’s the queen of Terra.”
“So you’re the princess?”
“Yes. My name is Celine - it’s very nice to meet you.”
They’re quiet for a moment, the bees buzzing. Then, from Aelar:
“I like your freckles.”
“You do?”
“You have nice freckles.”
“Thank you.”
Her skirts bunch up when she shifts her position on the seat - she’s not quite used to wearing so many ruffles and petticoats at once. They lapse into quiet, the sort that wraps you in a gentle hug and cradles you close. Bees buzz around them, the sweet breeze of summer makes the trimmed green foliage and flowers around them rustle. Then Aelar looks up with shining brown eyes to Celine’s green.
“Can I show you what I drew?”
“Yes please.”
It’s a rough sketch in his hands, with a crooked smile and freckles and messy shading on hair - her freckles, her blonde hair. But when he hands it to her Celine holds it tight to her chest and wishes she would never have to let go.
“Thank you so, so much - it’s so pretty!”
“You’re welcome. And thank you. Or you’re welcome. Or-”
Though he fumbles in his words, Aelar begins to giggle and Celine with him. And the garden is where they play together for a while, on epic quests and sprawling adventures in the safety of the little rose garden till Celine’s mother stumbles across the two of them. With a smile, she beckons for the two to come over and guides them back inside for tea time, where over orange-cinnamon tea and frosted cookies they will share all the stories they have to tell and the promises they will keep.
#writeblr#writing#creative writing#amwriting#original writing#fantasy#drabble#fluff#wip: the nessus chronicles
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Fear Factor: Season 3: Episode 16: Part 1
Episode 16: Vertical Two Square; Electric Eels; Helicopter Rodeo
On a sunny day near the docks, six girls walked together, ready to play a special all ladies edition of Fear Factor to prove that women can do anything men can and better.
Bubbles
City of Townsville
Powerpuff Girl
"I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited for this game," Bubbles said. "Both of my sisters tried to win this show and both lost. I can do anything boys can! I can't wait to shock my boy friends back in the City of Townsville when I win."
Leshawna
Canada
Total Drama Contestant
"I'm through being recognized from only Total Drama," Leshawna said. "Mama wants to make a new name for herself. This is gonna go out to all my brothers and sisters back in Canada. This one's you y'all!"
Danielle
Amity Park
Ghost Superhero
"I think I can do well just by focusing my energy," Danielle said. "If I do that, I think I could mislead the other players who'll obviously underestimate my young age and win this game. I know I can't use my powers, but I don't need to."
Daisy Duck
Toontown
Boyfriend to Donald Duck
"I want shed my pretty girl image and break those stereotypes of what girls are and what they like," Daisy said. "I can get down and dirty to win this game. And when I do, I plan to use the money to take my boyfriend Donald Duck for a nice vacation."
Gwen Tennyson
Everywhere
Sidekick
"Age doesn't really matter in these situations. It's actually the way you play the game," Gwen said. "My geek of a cousin has already won this show, so now I plan to win this. Anyway, I think girls are the underdogs when it comes to Fear Factor. We have a better chance at this."
Kuki Sanban aka Numbah 3
Treehouse HQ
Kids Next Door (KND)
"I'm not nervous," Numbah 3 said. "I just hope there's candy. I love candy! And Rainbow Monkeys!"
Our lovely female contestants then approached our host, Joe Rogan. "Hey, what's up?" Joe asked with a smile.
"We're good." The contestants all agreed. Joe then explained the game.
"You six people have been brought here from all over the country for one reason: To stare fear in the eye as you compete for $50,000. To win the money, you're going to have to complete three extreme stunts. Stunts that'll not only test you psychically, but mentally. If you're too afraid to attempt a stunt, you'll be eliminated. You try a stunt but fail to complete it, you're gone. But if you do succeed, you'll move onto the next round and be that much closer to the cash." There was one more thing to mention that the girls already know. "As you can see, this is an all ladies show. Meaning there are no annoying, loud, and smelly boys to get in your way."
The girls all cheered with delight. It was girls night on Fear Factor. "Hooray! Girls Fear Factor!" Numbah 3 said, giddily.
"This might be an interesting show." Gwen said with a smile.
"Then what do we say we get on with the game?!" Danielle asked, with the other girls cheering in agreement.
"Alright. Here is your first stunt." Joe said, pointing to a rotating platform above the water. "You'll each start on the top of the rotating platform and work your way to the rope. You'll then climb down the rope and release the flag. The four of you who do this the fastest will move onto the next round. The other two will be eliminated. We have randomly selected who gets to go first and Bubbles, you are lucky number one."
"That's me!" Bubbles said, giddily.
"Come on Bubbles!" Joe said with a smile, walking with Bubbles to get her prepped, leaving the other female player to talk among themselves.
"I don't think she's gonna win it." Gwen said with a grin.
"Hey!" Danielle scolded. "She's a PowerPuff Girl. I think she has a chance. What's with the trash talking all of the sudden?"
"Sorry." Gwen said with a sheepish smile.
Joe stood by with Bubbles as she got into her bathing suit. "So Bubbles the PowerPuff Girl, you're up first, setting the bar. Are you nervous?" Joe asked.
"A little bit." Bubbles admitted. "Both of my sisters didn't win their show, so I have to break this curse that's fallen on us. I guess."
"Come on! You're a PowerPuff Girl! You kick major bad guy butt all before bedtime!" Joe said with a smile, trying to make Bubbles less nervous. "I'm pretty sure your balance is good."
"It's just that this is my first time on a reality show. I'm just going by the general tone." Gwen said.
"Honey, take it from a pro. There's more to reality TV than trash talking." Leshawna said with a smile.
"So Bubbles, give me your best prediction. How fast you're gonna do this?" Joe asked.
"A minute and a half." Bubbles said.
"That's a good guess. Now remember, you can't use your powers cause that'll be cheating." Joe said. Bubbles nodded. "Well, good luck Bubbles."
"Thank you." Bubbles said with a smile as she got into her life jacket.
"So why are you doing this show, red head?" Leshawna asked.
"My cousin has already won it. So, I'm gonna make a name for myself." Gwen said with a confident smile.
"And what's up with you, ghost girl?" Leshawna asked Danielle.
"Well, you probably already know my cousin, Danny Phantom. He already won his show." Danielle said with a smile.
"I saw that!" Numbah 3 said with a giddy grin. "He's so cute, that Danny Phantom."
"You should already know he has a girlfriend who also won this show." Danielle said.
"Oh." Numbah 3 said before smiling again. "Girls Fear Factor!" Joe then approached the other girls as the platform carrying Bubbles starts rising.
As Bubbles looked down for a split second, she turned very nervous. "I hope I do well." Bubbles said to herself as she stood up.
"Bubbles, are you ready?" Joe called out.
"I'm ready!" Bubbles shouted.
"Alright, you're up first! So set that bar high and do the best you can! Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" Joe yelled. With that, Bubbles made her way across the platform as it started moving.
"Come on Bubbles!" Danielle shouted, encouraging the six year old as she inched her way around the platform. "You can do it!" Those words were enough for Bubbles to move faster as she continued her way to the rope.
"Come on Bubbles! You're almost there!" Joe called out as Bubbles got closer to the rope. She then finally latched onto the rope and started climbing down. Then, Bubbles reached the bottom platform and released the flag, stopping the clock at a minute and a half like Bubbles estimated. "Time! 1 minute and 30 seconds!"
The girls all cheered as Bubbles made her way back to Joe and the others. "Nice job Bubbles!" Danielle cheered.
"Bubbles, I knew you could do it!" Joe said with a smile. "And great timing too. Just like you predicted."
Bubbles giggled as she knew she done it. "Thank you! I did it!" Bubbles said.
"Yes you did!" Joe said. "Now, Kuki from the Kids Next Door is up next. Kuki, do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"One sister actually. But I don't like her anymore since she killed one of my Rainbow Monkeys." Numbah 3 said with a frown before smiling again. "But all is well now that she's grounded for life."
The girls all cringed when Numbah 3 said that. Grounded for life just for killing a stuffed animal? What kind of parents did she had? "Wow. My mom wouldn't ground me that long even if I got a B on my homework." Gwen commented, a little creeped out.
"Well, clearly Kuki has some tiger parents. Anyway, how fast are you gonna do this?" Joe asked Numbah 3.
"Hmm...a minute and five seconds." Numbah 3 guessed.
"That's a good estimated. So, come on with me and we'll get you prepped." Joe said.
"OK." Numbah 3 said as she walked with Joe and stripped into her pink bathing suit.
"So Kuki, so far none of your friends from the Kids Next Door have been able to win this. You think you're going to be the one to break the curse?" Joe asked.
"It shouldn't be that hard." Numbah 3 said with a smile.
"OK. Good luck." Joe said as he walked away and Numbah 3 got onto the platform. After the platform was in the air, Numbah 3 stood up. "OK Kuki, are you ready?"
"Yes I am!" Numbah 3 yelled back.
"OK. Remember, you have to beat one minute and thirty seconds! You do that, you're in for tomorrow! Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" Joe called out. With that, Numbah 3 started moving around the platform.
"Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies..." Numbah 3 sang to herself as she moved a little faster around the platform.
"Is she singing?" Gwen asked.
"I love this song!" Bubbles said with a smile as she hummed along with Numbah 3's singing.
"She's almost there." Joe said. "Come on Kuki! You're 30 seconds in!" Bubbles wasn't really nervous that Numbah 3 might beat her time. It's having fun that counts. And so far she was having a great time. Numbah 3 then made her way to the rope and climbed down. "She's climbing the rope." Numbah 3 then reached the bottom platform and released the flag in just 1 minute and 12 seconds. She was moving onto the next round. "Time! One minute and twelve seconds! She's in."
Numbah 3 then made her way back to Joe and the others. "Yay! I win!" Numbah 3 cheered.
"Not quite, Kuki. You do have the fastest time though, putting Bubbles on the bubble." Joe said. "No pun intended. If Leshawna does faster than her, she's are going home. Leshawna, are you ready?"
"You know it, Rogan!" Leshawna said with a smile. "Mama's gonna win this thing, y'all!"
"Alright. Come with me." Joe said, walking with Leshawna to get her prepped.
"That was so fun!" Numbah 3 said with a smile. "I was a little nervous when it started spinning though, but I got through it by singing Ring Around the Rosies."
Gwen and Danielle paid no attention to Numbah 3 and just spoke among themselves. "I really like Leshawna." Danielle said.
"Me too. I hope she does well enough." Gwen said.
Joe stood by with Leshawna as she got into her bathing suit. "So, Leshawna from Total Drama." Joe said with a smile. "So far, none of your fellow contestants have been able to win this show. You think you could change all that?"
"Joe honey, I'm here to win. Not lose." Leshawna said with a sly smile.
"That's good to know. All you have to do is beat one minute and twelve seconds, and you're in for tomorrow. If you don't, but do it faster than Bubbles, she goes home. So, good luck." Joe said, walking away as Leshawna got onto the platform. The platform the rose up and started spinning. "Leshawna, are you ready?"
"Let's do this thang!" Leshawna yelled.
"That's the spirit! Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" Joe called out. With that, Leshawna tried to keep her balance as she made her way across the platform. Man, this thing is moving fast, Leshawna thought to herself.
"Don't lean backwards!" Gwen yelled out, helping her fellow contestant. Leshawna gained her footing as she moved faster to the rope. She then grabbed the rope and started climbing down. Leshawna then reached the bottom platform and released the flag at a minute and twenty three seconds. Not good enough to beat Numbah 3's time, but good enough to send Bubbles home.
"Time! 1 minute and 23 seconds!" Joe announced. Bubbles turned sad for a little bit as she knew she was going home. "Bubbles, I'm so sorry. But she did better than you. So, we gotta send you packing."
"It's OK Joe. I had a fun time." Bubbles said with a small smile before hugging Numbah 3 and Danielle.
"Aww...that's so sweet." Joe said with a smile. "Bye Bubbles."
Bubbles then flew away the walk of shame as she reflected on her loss. "It's OK to lose sometimes. Cause Professor told me that's the most fun part of the game." Bubbles said.
Leshawna then made her way back to Joe and the other girls, boasting her victory. "I told you girls: Mama is here to win it! So you all might wanna save some trouble and quit now!" Leshawna yelled happily.
Joe just chuckled. "Well nice job, Leshawna from Total Drama. Maybe you might break the Total Drama curse after all." Joe said with a smile. "Gwen, you're next. Are you ready?"
"Yes. Let's do this." Gwen said with a smile as she walked with Joe to get prepped.
"Little red head got some determination. She might win this." Leshawna said with a smile.
"I don't know. On the bus ride here, she was more interested into her laptop when I tried to talk to her." Danielle said. "But, it's mostly mental in these types of games anyway. Maybe you're right."
Joe stood by with Gwen as she got into her green bathing suit. "So Gwen, we had your cousin Ben here earlier and he won this game. Is that your main motivation?" Joe asked.
"Yes. I'm so sick of being treated like a sidekick while he goes kicking bad guy butts and gets rewarded for it." Gwen said with a frown before smiling. "If I win this game, I'll gain more respect from him."
"That's good to know. Good luck." Joe said, walking away as Gwen got onto the platform. As the platform started rising, Gwen turned white as a ghost, becoming nervous. Maybe I shouldn't have done this, Gwen thought to herself as she stood up.
"Gwen, are you ready?" Joe called out.
"I'm ready!" Gwen yelled.
"Alright! Beat Kuki's time and you're in! Beat Leshawna's time, and she goes home! Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" Joe yelled. Gwen started to move across the platform, becoming more nervous as it spun. Come on, don't wuss out now, Gwen thought to herself. She then went faster before she finally reached the rope. Gwen then climbed down and reached the bottom platform. Releasing the flag, she completed the stunt in a record time of one minute and 8 seconds. "Time! 1 minute and 8 seconds! She did it!"
"Man, red head has got some skills!" Leshawna said with a smile.
"I did it! Whoo hoo!" Gwen cheered as she reflected on her win. "I used my brains in order to make sure I didn't fall off the edge as it kept spinning, calculating every single step I took. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the rope. I did it, and now I'm in for tomorrow." Gwen then made her way back to the other girls, looking incredibly happy.
"Honey, give me some sugar!" Leshawna said, inviting Gwen in for a hug. "Man, you're as dry as a duck."
"Hey!" Daisy said, offended.
"Sorry about that." Leshawna said.
"Man Gwen, some of the girls didn't think you were gonna make it." Joe said with a smile.
"Well, I did it, I'm dry, and I'm here for another day." Gwen said with a smile.
"Yes you are. Now, it's Danielle's turn. The young cousin of ghost superhero Danny Phantom. You ready?" Joe asked.
"Let's do this!" Danielle said with excitement.
"Alright come with me." Joe said, walking with Danielle to get her prepped. Danielle got into her red bathing suit and stood on the platform. She wasn't nervous when it rose, but when it started spinning fast, she turned white like Gwen was earlier.
"Oh dear." Danielle said, becoming increasingly nervous.
"OK Danielle, you ready?" Joe called out.
"Are you sure it's supposed to be this fast?" Danielle asked.
"Yes it's supposed to be that fast." Joe said with a smile. "Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" With that, Danielle started moving around the platform. She tried very hard to keep her balance without using her powers. Everyone was shocked at how fast Dani was going. She made it to the rope and climbed down to the bottom platform. Once she pulled the flag, the clocked stopped at one minute. Dani had beaten Gwen's time, putting her on the bubble. "Time! One minute! She now has the fastest time there is!"
Gwen turned nervous because she knew that if Daisy beaten her time, she would be going home. Danielle then made her way back to the other girls. "Did you miss me?" Danielle asked with a sly smile.
"Great job, Danielle!" Joe said with a smile. "You now have the fastest time here. Gwen, you're now on the bubble. If Daisy does better than you, you're going home."
"Well, then we must hope for the best." Gwen said with a hopeful smile.
"You mean hope that she doesn't beat your time." Joe said with a smirk, making Gwen smile sheepishly. "Daisy, are you ready?"
"I'm ready!" Daisy said with a smile as she walked with Joe to get prepped.
"Little red head, no matter what happens, you did your best." Leshawna said, making Gwen smile.
"Yeah. I thought you did very good too." Dani said with a smile.
"Thanks Dani." Gwen said, not knowing how this might all end.
Joe stood by with Daisy as she got into her bathing suit. "So Daisy from Toontown, you're here to prove that girls are all just more than frilly bows, is that right?"
"That's right Joe." Daisy said with a smile.
"OK remember, if you beat Gwen's time, she goes home. If you beat Leshawna's time, she goes home. If you beat Kuki's time, she goes home. You're the last one for today, so make it count. Good luck." Joe said, walking back to the remaining girls. Daisy then sat on the platform as it rose. Then, she stood up as it started spinning. "Alright Daisy, you ready?" Daisy nodded. "Alright, beat either girl's time, and one of them goes home! Here we go! In 3, 2, 1...go!" With that, Daisy made her way across the platform. But before she could even get to the first mark, she fell straight down into the water. "Whoa! She fell! Gwen, you, Leshawna, and Kuki are in for tomorrow!" The girls all cheered and hugged each other as they knew they would be moving on, becoming closer to $50,000. "Well congratulations to all four of you. You're moving on. So, let's get out of here and see what tomorrow has in store for you."
"Girls Fear Factor!" Kuki cheered as she, Gwen, Danielle, and Leshawna left the dock with Joe, not knowing what tomorrow might bring.
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Chapter one: normalcy
Virgil woke up the same way he always did, with the sun. He changed into his purple tank and blue jeans with his black and purple jacket around his waist. He jumped out his window and landed on shadow, his horse. Then, riding out into the apple trees, he whooped, feeling alive.
He rode like that for a while until he started over to his friend Patton’s farm. He rode in, knowing he had an open invitation. “Hey Pat!” Patton looked over and smiled, his dirt-smudged face lighting up. “Hiya Virgil!” “Morning ride?” Patton’s smile only grew. He ran to the stables and mounted garnet, his loyal maroon-brown horse and rode up. “Definitely.”
They raced through their families’ shared orchard, smiling and whooping and loving life. Their horses, just as alive, powered through the rows and rows of trees, nickering in delight. The two boys heard a familiar neigh, and glanced behind them.
There they were. They urged their horse to catch up to the two boys. They joined them in whooping. It was Avigeal(av-idge -eel) or AV. “HEYYYYA! I RIGGED IT SO I CAN RIDE WHILE I HEAL!!” They yelled, riding their favorite horse, Null. Sure Null was thin, but dame did she have speed.
About a month or two back, the three of them had gone berry hunting in Avigeal’s orchards. They had gotten attacked by wild horses and Avigeal had tossed Virgil out of the way of Null, who was untrained at the time. They had broken a rib doing so, but said it was worth it anytime anyone asked. They had been healing and training Null since, and hadn’t been able to ride until then.
They rode for about twenty more minutes before heading back to Patton’s place. By that point, Null had started to act up, so Avigeal had gone to drop Null off at home with Patton. They came back with Pat on Sandy, a sand colored horse with an attitude, and Avigeal on Quiver, a white horse who was so shy, she couldn’t even gallop in front of horses other than Shadow and Sandy.
They arrived at Patton’s parents’ farm and Quiver bucked in fear. Avigeal, who was experienced in this, held on to the reigns tight and comforted the shy horse. “Shhhh, Quiver, it’s okay! You have me, Virgil, Patton, Sandy, and Shadow with you!”
The horse calmed and whinnied in fear. “You want me to walk you in?” The horse nodded. “Okay! We can do that!” She dismounted and led the horse in by the reigns.
“AVI! You seem well!” Patton’s brother, Deciet (Janus) yelled. Avigeal was the only one he talked clearly to. “I can ride again!” Avi yelled back. Janus’s face lit up. “No way! That’s amazing!” He mounted his noble steed, slither, a confident horse who tended to nip, and rode over. He hopped off and enveloped Avigeal in a hug, then kissed their forehead and checked their rib.
Apparently while they were healing, they had been painting more landscapes. Virgil learned this when they pulled out a sunset painting that was so realistic it could’ve been a photograph. Virgil had no idea how they did this, as the sun disappeared quickly in sunsets where they lived. They then admitted (while hanging up the painting in Janus’s room, since it was his turn to get one.(also while sitting on said snek boi’s shoulder)) that they were able to capture an image in their head, focus on it, and recreate it. Janus has smiled at this and said, “follow me.”
Around seventeen minutes later, they stopped. “If I could make a request, I’d like for you to paint something for the famILY room.” Avigeal nodded curiously. He smiled and his flicked his tongue out like a snake. “Sit there.” He pointed to a clearing in the leaves. They obliged, and he sat down in front of them. He put a small stone on their thigh and clicked his long fingernails against it. “Close your eyes. I’ll tell you when to open them.” They nervously obliged.
Moments later, a weight landed on their lap. He continued to tap the stone, but now there was a rattling noise. They stiffened. “Relax. I would never hurt you.” Avigeal loosened and whispered, “I’m trusting you. I haven’t not seen in years. You know what happened.” He sighed and kissed Avigeal’s cheek. “All too well. Now shush. I don’t want the risk of you getting bit.” They felt his forehead against theirs. He slid his fingers from their cheek to near their eyes. He gently caressed their eyelids, signaling them to open.
What they found when they did, they wanted to paint right away. Janus was playing with three or four baby snakes that he had set in their lap. The mama laid in his, and seemed to trust him. Avi’s eyes shone slightly with lavender energy, and as far as Janus knew, that meant they were taking a picture. He was dumbfounded when they looked up at him, but grinned anyway. It was small, but it was there.
“Open your hands like this,” he started, cupping his hands in demonstration. They followed, and he gently put one of the babies in their hands. They looked like they were gonna shriek. “Too fa-?””can I pet them!” He glanced at their face. Grinning from ear to ear. They thought it was SO cool that they were holding a baby snake. “Sure. Just take your finger aaanndd...” he gently grabbed their hand and stroked the baby with their pointer finger. “Ooooohhhh!” They breathe-squealed. He had no idea, but they were recording the entire thing in their mind for later, when they’d paint it. He smiled again until he felt eyes on him. He looked up from the baby, which he had been carefully putting back in their lap, seeing them smiling in a trance-like state. “Earth to Avi?” He chuckled. They shook their head and looked around, blinking. “S-Sorry! I-I...” “it’s alright, Avi. Just means you like my smile.” He was taken aback when they nodded. “It’s...picturesque.” They mumbled, looking up to a confused Janus face. They sighed and rolled their eyes. “Like a picture or a painting. It’s pretty, or unusual or inspirational or otherwise and is like a great artist painted/ took a picture of it.” Janus nodded thoughtfully. “So like you?” They made a choking noise and covered their face with both hands. “Did I do something wrong?” They parted their fingers to look at him. “I-it’s just that... in that context,... it’s used as a pickup line...” Janus looked confused at first, then covered his mouth and nose with his hand. “S-Sorry...” “Nah... ‘s fine...” Janus then stared into their eyes. “I don’t show everyone this... so far just you and a friend of mine named Remy.” They smiled. “We should be heading back.” They nodded. He gently started lifting the snek babies off their lap. After he put the mom down, he led them back out of the grotto.
He whistled for their horses, and only slither came. “Huh?” “Quiver is too shy to run in front of other horses.” They looked ashamed. “It’s cuz I trained her for private rides.” He smiled. “Better hold on then.” They smiled in return. “I love a challenge.”
They rode across the plains, just having fun. He made slither buck them off at the farm. They landed on Quiver, and came galloping over the fence. They then rode to the race track. They shouted encouraging words to Quiver and the horse sped up to at least five times as fast as she was before. Her rider shrieked with delight again, urging her on. She whinnied competitively. Slither nickered back. Their riders were saying something to each other. They ripped from the starting line with such speed it even startled their riders. She saw shadow. She couldn’t let him down. He’d supported her for years. It was her chance to prove it. She ripped into first. Her rider shrieked again. She powered forward until her rider stopped her. She slowed to a stop instead of stopping abruptly like slither. Her rider got off and fed her an apple. She heard a breathless “Good girl!” from her rider. She nuzzled them and nickered. Water. Her rider needed water. As if by magic, a water bottle appeared in the air. Her rider caught it and drank from it. Good. She trotted over to the water trough triumphantly. Slither was there, and boy, was he pissed. She bumped hips with him to get him to smile. He did. “Look.” She whinnied. Their riders were talking. “So in love.” He hissed, as he often did. “Why don’t they kiss already?” Slither nickered. Sandy sputtered, offended. “Humans don’t work that way! It takes time! It took me MONTHS to get my rider to kiss Valiant’s!” “Will you shut UP about valiant?! Day in, day out it’s valiant, valiant, valiant! Can’t you focus on ANY OTHER HORSE?!” “No! Valiant is amazing! What other horse is there to talk about?!” “Oh, I don’t know, rotten, brownie, majora, Camden... need I continue?” Sandy fell silent. “Look, sand, I’m sorry. It’s just- you know I don’t like him. Or at the very least don’t trust him. He’s so full of himself I’m scared he’s gonna break your heart.” He looked away in shame. “Slithie?” She nickered. He shamefully glanced at her. “Love you, bro bro.” “Love you too.” He whinnied.
“Wow. Didn’t know Quiver had that kind of speed. You must’ve trained her well!” “Yeah, well... it wasn’t TOO hard...” they smiled anyway. He chuckled. “Wanna get to painting?” They nodded, giggling. He led them into his room and grabbed a rather large canvas by their request. They giggled and said “I’m gonna need you to pose. Don’t worry or complain. It’s an easy one.” He quickly found that she needed him to recreate the crisscrossed position he had been in when he was playing with the snakes. He wondered why.
They started to sketch with a familiar-looking pencil. He recognized it as the pencil he had given them a few years back.
They noticed he was staring and turned the pencil so he could see ‘property of snekboi’ carved into the side. They saved it for sketching on canvases to get a basic design. He blushed (from embarrassment) when he realized the face changes were messing them up. He chuckled, the smile returning.
Ten minutes later, they told him he could drop position. He came up behind them and hugged their waist to his. “Dame, Avi! That looks amazing!” Avigeal smiled and replied with, “it’s only amazing cuz you’re amazingly patient with me. I must’ve redone the smile at least forty times.”
The painting was a masterpiece by Janus’s standards. It was of the moment he put the baby’s snek in Avigeal’s hands. From what he could tell of the sketch, they were gonna put some sort of fade on the edge of the painting leading in. Most of the pencil lines were smudged, suggesting a blurry appearance, but the ones on his face, his hair, their hands, and the snek were all fine and detailed.
“Avi, can I ask about the choice of blurring some things but not others?” Avi smiled as they mixed paint. “It’s to draw attention to the correct things. I don’t want someone to look at it and say, ‘wow! What a detailed background!’ I want them to say ‘what a sweet moment! Such an adorable snake and the detail of the smile, wow!’” Their smile faded. “I want to make something that your mom can look at and know that you won’t be alone when you get your own orchard. A moment, a memory that will make all the difference. something she can look at and smile. I want to give her a piece of your soft side, like you do.” Janus looked at Avigeal’s face. “Like I never got to.” They added. Their mom had died the previous summer and it was going to be their first year without some form of parent. He squeezed Avi’s waist. “Whenever you need a mom, a famILY, a whatever, you can come over. We’re here for you, Avi. We got your back. You’re not alone in the grief of losing Angela, but I swear, if you ever need a piece of her again, please, please, please, come over here. We’ll be your famILY.” Avi dropped their paintbrush onto the easel and turned to hug him. “There, there, Avi. I’m here. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to ya when you’re in my arms, okay?” They nodded into his neck, sobbing softly. They turned around again after a while.
They picked their paintbrush up and dipped it into the muddy green colour, dragging it loosely across the canvas. They continued like that with lime green near where they’d put streaks of sunlight, forest green for the foliage around them and so on.
When they got to the edges, however, they had mixed up a lavender-ish colour and had started to apply it, tainting the colour with green, and effectively dulling it. “Why’d you do that?” Janus asked. “It’s how I saw what happened. I was recording.” They admitted before turning to sandy yellow to start on the sunlight and scales of the snek.
A while later, and the painting was almost finished. They had opted to sitting instead of standing the entire time, and Janus had chosen to sit behind them, his arms still firmly around their waist, but not uncomfortably so. He had closed his eyes long ago, and they were glad he didn’t see them put the small white heart sun-sparkle thingies into his hair. He would’ve flipped. Patton and Virgil have checked in several times by then, and it was looking amazing. It was missing something though. They smiled and picked up the light violet paint.
Forty minutes later, they smiled at the result of their hard work. Janus had fallen asleep on their shoulder, although his grip never faltered. They had already let it dry, and gently shook Janus’s arm. “Wake up, Jay. I want you to see before I hang it up.” He opened his eyes lazily. “Hmm?” “The painting, silly! You must’ve been tuckered out, buddy, you fell asleep right on my shoulder!” Janus rubbed his eyes, letting go of Avi’s waist for the first time in and hour and forty-five minutes. He stretched and hugged Avi, being careful of their rib, and stared at the painting in awe. “Wooow...” he subconsciously breathed. Avi never failed to surprise him when it came to their paintings, but this was a whole other level. The moment was captured perfectly. His smile was slight and you could just barely see a hint of it, while the droplets of sweat on his forehead and in his hair reflected how hard he had been working. His calloused hands were perfectly represented in the painting, and he couldn’t believe the amount of detail in the flower crown he was wearing. The snek’s scales looked rounded, and everything had so much dimension it looked like a picture. Their glossy black nails, the stone on their thigh, it was all there. He smiled fondly.
“So...I’m guessing you like it?” Avi asked. He nodded breathlessly. Avi blushed. “I’m glad. I think there are a couple things I messed up on, but other than that, I agree.” With that, Avi stood up and picked the painting up, Janus following closely behind.
“Heya y’all!” Avigeal’s voice rang out along the track. The two guys rode over and dismounted. “Finished the painting! Whatcha think?” Verge’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped while Patton practically melted. Either way, they both loved it. “Speechless. Told ya, Avi!” “That you did, Jay, that you did.” They remarked.
Two reactions later, and the painting was hung up. “It’s really...wow! Thank you Avigeal!” Janus’s mother squealed. “Ain’t no big thing! Just a painting of a moment I wanted to remember.” They trailed off, listening for something. “The princes are coming!” Avigeal yelped. “Gotta go! Good seeing y’all!” “Bye Avi!” Janus yelled after them.
Chapter two: the princes’ visit.
They rode Quiver back to their farm and grabbed the basket of berries and pony they planned to show whatever prince was left, as their farm was out-of-the-way and hard to reach if not on horseback. Each of the farms would advertise what they had in stock, and try to impress a prince. Avigeal and Virgil’s farms were the only ones who didn’t sell to princes yet. Rumor had it that three princes, including prince Logan of Logos(Patton’s boyfriend), were coming to review farms and see what farms they might want to pick up or drop depending on what goods were in demand. Avi had been preparing for weeks, and Janus had helped them practice their speech. They were ready.
Around half an hour later, Avigeal spotted the princes. When they stopped, Avigeal bowed and started their marketing speech. “Hello, princesses, princes, and non-binary royalty. My name is Avigeal Ouruka and I’m a non-binary masculine berry farmer. My pronouns are they/them/he/him. I market a variety of fresh berries and offer training for these fine animals we know as horses. I also offer painting services, as I am able to capture images in my mind and recreate them.” They held up one of their sunset paintings and displayed it, showed the princes how they had trained the horse, and finally let them try some freshly picked blackberries, before starting the mandatory orchard tour with Quiver as their choice of horse. “My family’s farm has never used pesticides. We use a safe mixture of lemon juice, water, and vinegar to shoo away the bugs. We do not endorse the hunting of deer or fruit bats, and have made parts of our orchards into safe havens for these animals. I’m afraid we have a work force of one, as my mother passed away last summer. I’m lucky to have the support of nearby farmers who care and help to pick every once-in-a-while. I sense the question of how I have been without my mother, and I have been alright thanks to a friend who has kindly offered to lend me his family.” This caused a small eruption of chuckles. “There we go! Now that we got some laughs in here, let’s loosen up a little! I’ll tell ya ‘bout how lucky I am we’re even on this tour. Quiver baby! The normal route, if you will.” They asked. The horse stopped, and Avigeal dismounted. “Something wrong, sunshine?” The horse nickered and nudged their ear. “You’ll have to pardon Quiver, she’s rather shy.” Avigeal started as they mounted. “She’s a lil nervous due to the stiff behavior and mannerisms of y’all’s horses. It’s not y’all’s fault, it’s just that no horse here acts that way.” The princes nodded and smiled, gently patting their horses to tell them to relax.
“You seem to be a friendly, laid-back individual, Miss Ouruka.” “Please, call me Vee. And yeah, I’d say. I don’t like being uptight, cuz I feel the more comfortable you are in an environment, the more of you ya show, and the easier it is to make friends!
“Anywho we really are lucky we’re on this tour. Doctors had me fearin’ I’d miss it. Around two or so months ago I was out harvesting berries with my pals when out of nowhere a herd of wild horses came barreling through the orchards. One of them was about to hit Virge, who I believe you’ve already met, and I jumped in front of him. The horse hit me right in the rib, and ‘m afraid it broke.
“still trained ‘im though, and he’s a mighty fine steed. Null, his name is. I’m lucky cuz just today I was told I can ride again. Horses, that is.” The princes erupted in laughter, Logan included.
“We’re reaching the end of our tour, sad to say, but there’s one more place I believe it’s important to show you.” They took the reigns and turned down a pathway surrounded by willows. A singular cherry tree stood in the center. “I’ll have to ask you to dismount. It’s not visible from horseback.” Vee said remorsefully as they dismounted. The princes did the same. They laid out a blanket and motioned for the princes to sit next to them. Once sitting down they saw a glass coffin containing a beautiful woman which was carefully placed inside the trunk of the tree. “That’s mumma. Angela. A real saint, she was. Taught me how to love when surrounded by hate.” A deer fawn peeked out from behind the tree. “Heya, fella! Where’s your family?” The fawn slowly moved closer to Vee until its head was in Vee’s hand. They stroked the fawn’s coat. “You got a buck or doe somewhere?” They stood up and led the fawn back to the group it was in.
While Vee was gone, the princes read about Angela. “She sounds like a wonderful mother.” Prince roman of amour remarked breathlessly. “Dame straight.” Vee sighed. “She was amazing. Still! She lives on inside me and in the stories of her i tell to my friends. The same stories I’ll tell to my kids and grandkids one day. So there ain’t no reason to dwell on it. She had a bad illness. I’m glad she died from nature’s mercy shot rather than humanity’s. She died from a poisonous berry. It felt bad, giving her it, but she thanked me, so it...hurt less.” Vee kissed their fingers and pressed them to the white wooden border of the coffin. “Love ya mom.” They said. “Rest in peace, lady Angela.” Prince Kaleo of kaua announced while kneeling before the coffin and lowering his head. The two other princes honored her in their own ways, with Prince Logan lowering his head, lifting it and smiling fondly, and Prince Roman simply giving a fond farewell while touching the coffin with his fingertips. Vee seemed slightly shocked. “T-thank you.” They stuttered, bowing. “It’s only customary to honour the dead where I’m from.” Prince Kaleo shrugged. “And I’m sure she was a lovely woman and remarkable mother, if your behavior is anything to go off of.” They nodded. “We should get going-“ Vee was cut off by Prince Kaleo kissing their cheek gently. They jumped. “I should’ve warned you.” He mumbled. “My humblest apologies. I was merely cheering you up as a part of the tradition for when one loses a loved one.” He explained. “Shucks, there’s no need for that! Ya just caught me off guard! I’m fine. But seriously, let’s start heading back.” They chuckled while mounting Quiver. “Ah, yes, indeed. My father will be wondering where we are.” Prince Kaleo announced. They started heading back.
They reached the gates at the front and went back to the display they had set up. Prince Logan spoke up first. “Your painting skills would be much appreciated by the people of Logos.” “I’m open every weekday for painting requests, although four to five in the evening on Wednesdays is when I visit mom’s grave.” “Your mother died?” King Bane of kaua inquired. “‘M afraid so. Last summer, it was.” King bane dismounted and kissed their cheek as well and started to explain, however, Vee stopped him. “With all due respect, your son has already explained this to me, sir.” “Well then, let’s see what about your farm interested him.” He exclaimed, friendly as ever. “The berry services would be great for the people of Kaua. They could be eaten raw or dried.” “I work on berry picking every Tuesday and Thursday, so you’ll get deliveries every Sunday.” Vee exclaimed. “The fine aminal- animal training would also be beneficial, as the children of Kaua want to ride horses their size, but no ponies are trained.” Vee stifled a giggle. “ I’m open whenever, as we make appointments for them. No more than fifteen per week, or I’ll have three appointments in one day.” Vee smiled. “All very acceptable conditions!” King Bane exclaimed. “Finally, the people of amour would benefit from the horse training as well, as the children are wishing that it wasn’t just wooden horses they were riding, but instead real horses, and we have no trained ponies.” “You have heard the conditions for this service. I thank you kindly for your time. Enjoy the rest of y’all’s day!” Vee exclaimed happily. “Farewell, Vee.” “I bid you adieu, Vee!” And a simple wave from Prince Kaleo.
Chapter three: jealousy
When Avigeal rode back over to Patton’s farm, they could hardly contain their excitement. The second they were off Quiver they were almost knocked over by Janus tackle-hugging them. “Did you see Prince Logan!” Avi smiled. “If you mean the flushed pink of his lips or the obvious hickey on his neck then, no I didn’t.” They joked. “Aaaahhhh! We did it! Listen, I know you didn’t see it and you weren’t here, but right in front of everyone! They just...kissed!” “Speaking of just kissed, did you know that it’s customary for the people of Kaua to kiss a person’s cheek when they lose a loved one?” Janus got a look in his eye. “No...why.” “Just thought it was interesting.” They talked for a little while, walking through the orchards. Prince Roman’s name was brought up and Virgil jutted in with a quick “him? Yeah, I guess.” When they were questioning whether or not he was hot. The banter continued until...”...are you okay?” Left Avi’s lips. Janus looked strange. “Just fine...” although he didn’t seem fine. “Are you sure?” “Mmmhmm...” He then fell, completely limp, onto Avi’s chest.
Chapter four: sick
Janus was out of commission. Apparently, he had overworked himself when he built the stands for everyone in the neighborhood. Avi offered to nurse him to health at their house, as the Hart-Raven farms were already packed. The Harts reluctantly accepted, since their evidence was solid. The Harts promised to visit at 4:00 pm every day until he was better.
Nearly a month passed, and Avi had finally reversed it. They hissed as the magic shot back into them. They had forgotten to stop sharing magic with Janus when they left, so Janus had been harboring the magic of jealousy. It was a poisonous magic, and Avi knew they were the source of it. Janus’s rage has been at Prince Kaleo and at himself. Kaleo for possibly stealing Avi, and himself for doubting them.
They finished drawing the magic out of him and pulled back. A full hour. They sighed and rubbed their sore jaw. They had been drawing magic from him like a vampire draws blood... for an hour. They sighed and stood. What a month. “Dame. Couldn’t keep your hands off me, huh?” Avi whipped around. “Janus!” They shrieked. “You’re okay!” He frowned. “Of course. Also, I apologize for the way I grabbed your attention...” “I don’t even care anymore! I thought I lost you to my own magic!” They sobbed. He pulled them up and onto his lap, stroking their hair. “What? Avi, how long have I been out?” They choked out another sob at the nickname before answering with a soft whisper of “A-b-bout a m-month...”. Janus’s eyes widened. “Aviiii...” he cooed, stroking their hair as they cried into his shoulder. He kissed their temple and sighed. “It’s okay, Avi, it’s all gonna be alright now, y’hear?” They nodded slightly, drying their tears. Janus smiled softly. “Now listen here, Avi. I don’t want you falling into a bad mindset cuz somethin’ bad happened. Angela always said to focus on the good, right? Well here’s somethin’ good. I’m okay. You’re okay. Everything’s alright and you even got yourself a couple deals on your farm! Ain’t that worth smilin’ about?” He asked softly. Avi took a deep breath, letting a genuine Cheshire Cat-like smile spread across their face. “Indeedy-do, Janny!” They giggled, drying their tears.
#tw long post#tell me to tag#again please ignore#I don’t know how to do cuts so#eegh sorry#love y’all
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Double Trouble: Ch9
Masterlist Here
Pairing: McKirk
Rating: G
Length: 1431 words
Summary: Here it is! The chapter you’ve all been waiting for! We find out what the girls have in store for Charlie.
~*~*~*~
While Leonard was out for an early morning walk, the girls took advantage of his absence. Joanna knew from experience that he’d be gone at least an hour, and according to Ellie that was more than enough time. They slowly unzipped the grownup tent and peeked in to find Charlie snoring with a sleep mask over his eyes. Ellie tried not to giggle as she meticulously strung up the trip wires while Jo ran down to the pond and caught the biggest bullfrog she could get her hands on and carried it gently to rest inside the tent.
Joanna thought about it for a minute before running back down to the river and catching a couple more frogs in a bucket, dragging them back up with a little effort and upending the whole thing inside the tent. The girls quickly left and zipped the tent back up, rinsing her hands off in the pond and going to wait at the fire pit for either Len to return or Charlie to wake up.
The two events nearly overlapped. Len was just sitting down and chatting with the two of them when a horrified screech sounded from the tent where just moments before, Charlie had been sleeping quite soundly. The girls watched Len jump up and their eyes followed him to where Charlie was thrashing around trying to get out of his sleeping band and the amphibian-infested tent.
“Charlie? What’s wrong?” Len unzipped the tent and stared dumbfounded at easily a dozen frogs hopping frantically across the floor and around Charlie’s dancing feet. Charlie was tangled in the forest of string Ellie had put up and looked furious.
“Get me the hell out of here!”
“What’re you all in a tizzy for? They’re just some little frogs,” Len chuckled as he helped disengage Charlie from the mess of twine.
“They’re disgusting and those monsters put them in here!”
“Oh come on. It was a little prank and they’re twelve years old.” They could practically hear Len rolling his eyes. “Come on out and I’ll get them back to the pond.”
He finished getting Charlie out of the tent and turned his focus on removing the frogs while Charlie turned his livid gaze toward the girls who sat innocently next to the fire pit. Len didn’t notice him make his way over, but he did hear what the blonde had to say next, seething rage raising his voice more than he probably intended, “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with the two of you, but if you two keep being little shits I’m going to pull every string I have to in order to keep the two of you on opposite goddamn continents! You, missy,” he pointed at who he assumed was Ellie, “will never set another foot in our home once you and your boho trash father get back on that plane.”
“Charlie, I’d like a word with you.” Len’s voice was like ice and there was a hard glint to his eyes Joanna had never seen before.
The girls shared a look as Charlie paled, but went over. They couldn’t hear anything the two men were saying, but it was obvious by the short, sharp gestures he was making while he spoke that Len was furious. When he had said his piece, Len held out his hand and Charlie worked the engagement ring off his finger. Len tucked it in his pocket and called over to the girls, “Pack up your tent, girls. We’ll have breakfast when we get back to the house.”
“Yes, daddy,” Jo mumbled.
“Okay,” Ellie agreed. Both girls were completely silent as they packed up and helped him load the truck up.
“Girls how about you both settle in with the stuff in the bed. You promise me you’ll stay sitting down and I’ll let you do that. We’ve only got a little ways to the house, and I need to talk with Charlie some more.”
They agreed and clamored into the back, thankful to have a way to escape the awkward silence between the two adults that hopped into the cab. Once they were sure they wouldn’t be seen, they shared a high five.
“I’ve never seen daddy that mad before,” Jo confided with a glance at the back window. She was relieved to find it shut. “I think Charlie’s definitely gone now did you see him give daddy back his ring?”
“Yeah. So what’s the next step? We gotta get our dads together now.”
“You got rid of Charlie, I’ll come up with the romance stuff,” Jo grinned over at her. “I’ve watched all kinds of romantic movies and stuff.”
Ellie nodded in enthusiastic agreement. The rest of the ride was relatively uneventful except for the occasional raised voice coming from inside the truck. It wasn’t long before they were idling outside the house and Charlie burst from the truck to storm inside. Len was a little more composed when he stepped out and offered the girls a small smile. “Go on inside and find Jim, girls. Bring him to the kitchen and I’ll be there in a bit to make us some pancakes, okay?”
“Okay!” They exclaimed in unison, both scrambling out of the truck bed and booking it inside.
It wasn’t hard to find Jim curled up on a couch in the living room, sketching out the view from the large bay windows. Ellie waited for the pencil to leave the page before throwing herself on the couch beside him with an excited, “Papa!”
His attention was on her immediately with a beaming smile. “Hey there, peanut! You’re back early something happen?”
“Charlie doesn’t like frogs,” was he cryptic, but gleeful response. “Mr. Leonard told us to meet him in the kitchen. He’s gonna make pancakes!”
“Good because I have some news. To the kitchen, little munchkins!”
When they got to the kitchen, Donna was getting herself a cup of coffee and looked surprised to see the girls. “What’re you two doing back so earlier? Jojo, where’s your dad?”
“Probably with Charlie. I think they broke up cuz daddy took back nan’s ring and he was really really mad.”
Donna’s hands went to her hips, brow raised at the two of them. “Alright, what happened?”
They launched into the whole story. Everything from them putting up the tents to the eel and all the way through to their little prank, Charlie’s threats, and Leonard’s response. Jo tacked on as a bit of an afterthought when they were done, “And we got to ride in the back of the truck while Jo’s dad yelled at Charlie inside.”
“I’m going to make sure Len’s alright,” Donna sighed. She ruffled the girls’ hair and added, “You two stay here with Jim I’ll be back.”
As she was leaving, she heard Ellie whisper, “Who was that?”
“That’s aunt Donna. She wasn’t here before?”
“She came back just after two left for camping,” Jim explained.
“Oh. She was probably at nan’s, then.”
Somewhere upstairs, a door slammed. The four of them watched through the doorway as Charlie stomped his way downstairs, a couple suitcases in hand with Len trailing behind him sporting an unreadable expression and a few more bags. He set them down just outside the door and murmured something none of them could hear before he retreated back upstairs. When he reappeared with two more bags, it became obvious what was happening; Charlie wasn’t just going away to cool off, he was going away for good. Donna watched her brother carefully as he closed the door behind him and made his way back toward the kitchen.
“Donna could you get the batter for mama’s pancakes started up? I have to make a quick phone call.” Quick strides brought him to his at-home office where he knew he wouldn’t be overheard through the thick door.
Awkward silence reigned supreme in the kitchen while Donna pulled out the things she needed for pancakes. Joanna shot a glance out into the hall where he father had disappeared before asking, “Is daddy okay…?”
“He’ll be fine, sweetheart,” Donna sighed. “Your daddy just really wanted someone to spend some grownup time with and he thought Charlie was the right one.”
Jim kept the girls entertained, and before Donna was even done mixing up the batter Len was striding back in with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes plastered across his face and a sort of false cheer in his voice, “Alright! Who’s ready for some pancakes?”
Ellie and Jo shared a guilty look, but raised their hands.
Tagging: @auduna-druitt @pinkamour1588 @gracieminabox @thevalesofanduin @mccoymostly @yourtropegirl @randomlittleimp @southernbellestatues @emmkolenn @goingknowherewastaken @bubblegum-star-trek @loisrose @feelmyroarrrr @outside-the-government @arrowsshootyouforwards @eyeofdionysus @goodnightwife
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Lilly Misreads Twig: [Taking Root 1.1]
I know very, very little about Twig; I know it's about some science-experiment kids called Lambs (Why would you waste your talents on _children_, when you could be working on birds instead? Birds are superior to children in every conceivable way. /pact) in pseudo-Victorian Biopunk Nightmare England, and that's pretty much it. Unlike my liveblog of Worm, everything I say will be my actual, honest opinions (or a joke, because trying far too hard to be funny is just part of who I am). No "secret" advance knowledge this time, except for a handful of character names because I've seen people talk about Twig on [r/parahumans](https://reddit.com/r/parahumans).
Bow, you _sly dog_. I know that this is purely for formatting's sake, but it's an... _interesting_ solution to this particular problem. If there _had_ to be something there, why not use a [non-breaking space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-breaking_space) instead of an invisible full stop? Now that I'm done nitpicking for now, I'll move onto the actual story. Where I'll probably nitpick everything, anyway. #Taking Root 1.1 ```How does it go? The first lesson, something even the uninitiated know. For life to flourish on the most basic level, it requires four elements. Carbon, oxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen.``` That's not quite true; even the simplest known lifeforms require other elements. Namely, phosphorus; it's a component of both DNA and RNA. And by this point in time, [as long as it's past the 1770s](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphorus#Discovery) (which I'm pretty sure it is), it should be pretty well known that phosphorus is a major biological component; the main source of elemental phosphorus at what I'm pretty sure is the time would have been either bone ash or phosphate rock. (Hurray for esoteric scientific knowledge and Wikipedia articles.) And human beings also contain essential and not-at-all insignificant amounts of quite a few other elements, [particularly notably iron, calcium, sulfur and zinc](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composition_of_the_human_body). But this is Sci-Fi England, so I guess that doesn't matter, probably. I should probably suspend my tendency to nitpick for the entirety of this (as a whole, the very concept is kind of _off_ to me in a way that _Worm_ and _Pact_ weren't), but I just wouldn't be _me_ if I did that. I'm going to try and complain less about the "science", or rather the lack thereof, however. I didn't do that with _Worm_ (though _Worm_ was closer to being urban fantasy with a superhero twist, where _Twig_'s description pretty much explicitly calls it _extremely soft_ science fiction with an alt-history flavor), so I shouldn't do it here... but I probably still will anyway. ```We were doing fine on that count. The air around us was stale, but it was still oxygen. Water ran around and below us, flowing over our bare feet, redirected from gutters to the building’s inside.``` Ew. Also, _why don't they have shoes_? I'm pretty sure [shoes were invented](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoe#Antiquity) by whenever this takes place. And I kind of doubt they're too poor for shoes if they're a bunch of fancy "science" experiments. Unless they're all expendable and disposable "sacrificial Lambs" and that's why they don't have shoes. I'd kind of be disappointed if the reason for their group name was something so simple, because I'm used to layers upon layers of double meanings in Wildboy's work. (That was a typo, but I'm leaving it in because it's perfect.) While I'm on the subject of double meanings: _Twig_ ≈ _Graft_ ≈ _Scion_, so _Worm_ 1800s AU confirmed? /s Grafting is probably a major concept, though, because Biopunk Nightmare England wouldn't be complete without Frankenstein's Monsters made from stitched-together corpses[1] (bonus points if a major character turns out to be one; this is barely even a prediction since that's usually how this sort of thing goes and has been since the original _Frankenstein; or the Modern Prometheus_ [2][3]). ```A scattered set placed on the upper floor, and more well above head height on the lower one.``` Above a child's height or above an adult's height? That's a difference of 1-3 feet, depending. ```Aside from the four of us, one other thing occupied the hayloft. It was hard to make out in the dim light that filtered in through the window, like an eel in dark water, and if it weren’t for the fact that we’d seen it approach, we might not have noticed it at all. Sleek, four-legged, and tall enough I couldn’t have reached its shoulder if I stood on my toes, it was wound around the pillar as a snake might be. Unlike a snake, though, it had four long limbs, each with four long digits, tipped with claws. Head flowed into neck, which flowed into shoulder and body without a without prominent ridge, bump, bone or muscle to interrupt the sequence.``` That's quite the vague description, and honestly I have no idea what this thing is supposed to look like. It's justified, I guess but I'd like to know what our protagonists are up against in more detail than "long and flexible noodle with no distinct neck, noodle arms and claws". I get the impression that it's supposed to look creepy, but it honestly doesn't sound like it. I'm basically picturing it as a budget, boneless Xenomorph, which is a bit unfair, but pretty much accurate to the description given here. Also, the "like an eel in dark water" bit is completely and utterly pointless: it's not a helpful description, nor is it a good comparison. ```I grinned, and flakes of wax fell from my face at the movement.``` ...What the _fuck_? ```Gordon, just to my left, put out a hand, covering my mouth. He was tense, lines on his neck standing out. Trying to put on a brave face, as our leader. ``` Our Currently Unnamed Protagonist will probably become the leader after a few arcs, or maybe even just after this one. Again, not really a prediction but just how these things tend to go. Unnamed Protagonist doesn't seem like a very good leader (they don't exactly seem like the sharpest tool in the shed (they're clearly book-smart, but that doesn't necessarily translate to actually being all that _usefully_ smart), as of yet, and they couldn't stop themselves from blabbing and almost getting them all caught by the Ambiguous Monster of Ambiguity), and I predict they'll cause the group a lot of potentially avoidable strife as a leader. Of course, this is a prediction based on only half a chapter, so I'm probably dead-wrong. ```In contrast, Helen’s face didn’t betray a flicker of emotion. Her golden hair, normally well cared for, cultivated into tight rolls, was damp and falling out of place. Water ran down her face, splashing in through the side of the window where the makeshift gutter came in, and the droplets didn’t provoke one flinch or batted eyelash. She could have been a statue, and she’d kept her face still enough that the wax that covered it hadn’t broken, which only helped the effect.``` Helen's already starting to scare me. And it's nice to know that they're just wearing wax for some reason (hiding scents? wax is a much more innocuous scent than human flesh and is less likely to attract the Ambiguous Monster's attention), instead of being made of it or something. Unless they excrete wax like normal people do sweat or something. Also, Lillian seems like the worst person to bring into a situation like this; she can't even _downplay_ her fear. At least she's quiet. ```“Kitties,” Lillian whispered, horror overtaking fear in her expression.``` GODDAMN IT, LILLIAN. She may have the same name as me (even in my _unusual_ case—I'm not a girl, and yet it's the name my parents gave me—"Lilly" is short for Lillian), but she's not making a very good first impression. She's saying things, even after it's been established that _this monster can hear and seemingly heard Unnamed Protagonist whispering (though it didn't think much of it)_. ```Mama kitty shouldn’t have had her babies in the same building as the monster, I thought. Wallace’s law at work.``` [Wallace](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Russel_Wallace)'s Law? Huh. Already leaning on the alternate-history elements, which is good. (Side note: I'm ashamed of myself for not figuring out this _rather obscure_ reference with context; I had figured it had referred to natural selection but I had forgotten who Alfred Russel Wallace was, so I had to Google a bit.) ```As if to follow the thought, Lillian’s foot skidded on the bottom of the trough, and she tipped forward, straight into Helen’s arms. ``` Seriously, Lillian? Seriously? It's like Bow is trying his best to make her as incompetent and unhelpful as possible. So far, she's my least favorite of the group. ```“You go second,” Lillian whispered to me. “I know you well enough to know that If you go before me you’ll look up my skirt.”``` Well, that's certainly one way to characterize a protagonist. Hopefully, they never reach "anime 'pervert' character" levels of unlikeable, objectifying bullshit. ```The Academy loomed above it all, those same elements taken to an extreme. It had been an old collection of buildings once. A rush to grow and meet surging demand had led to a lot of the same haphazard growth.``` ```It all had an odor. There were smells that became second nature, and there were smells that were ingrained in the psyche as bad smells. Ones that spoke of death, of long sickness, and of violence. Rendered fat, decay, and blood. Each were heavy on the air.``` Well that's ominous, albeit probably irrelevant. ```She wasn’t one of us. She was new. Allowances had to be made.``` No wonder she seemingly is completely incompetent and whatever spy bullshit they're currently doing. She's new, and she's not part of the original group, whatever that means. But surely, they could find a more useful and fourth(?) competent member. She's either the _real_ protagonist or the sixth ranger (despite there only being four? of them), probably. If they gain more members for their strange child soldier(?) cabal, I expect them to instantly rank above her, in spite of being newer. ```“Sy,” Gordon hissed the words, “What are you doing?”``` Huh. There aren't many names that would logically shorten to Sy. I'm guessing Sylvester (though I'd shorten it to "Syl" if that's the case), but this is Wildbow so for all I know Sy's actually a girl and it's short for Sybil or something. In fact, until it's stated otherwise, I'm going to assume Sy's short for Sybil. Even if they're a guy (which they probably are, since I doubt Biopunk Horror England would be chill with lesbians), as that just makes more sense to me than Sylvester, and "Sybil" is just rife with symbolism. ```He moved his head, and I could hear him speak, very patiently, to Lillian, “Keep going. Don’t mind him.”``` So Sy's a guy, which means it's probably (but only _probably_) short for Sylvester. That's vaguely disappointing, since I liked my Sybil theory. ```"Watching you do that is making me nervous,” Lillian said, looking down at me. She’d progressed two more ‘rungs’. She was the shortest of us, next to me, it didn’t make it easier for her.``` Further proof that Lillian is useless and not at all helpful. Hopefully, Sy'll finish up this spy bullshit quickly, and I can get some explanations on whatever the fuck is going on here. ```“I thought you were keeping lookout,” I said.``` SO THEY DO HAVE A FIFTH MEMBER! (Or rather, fourth; he? would make Lillian the fifth). Seems like Jamie's almost as useless as Lillian. Bonus points if his name is _deliberately_ androgynous and it's foreshadowing for something. I'm probably wrong about that; there's _literally nothing else_ that would suggest that was anywhere close to being on the right track, as far as speculation goes. I'll still keep it in the back of my mind, however. ```Exactly, Thom,” I said, “But who told the authorities?” His eyes moved. To me, then Jamie, to Lillian, and then the barn-turned-warehouse. I was nodding before the word came out of his mouth. “You.”``` 100% chance that they aren't going to tell or work with the authorities in any way. This seems far too much like a highly illegal covert operation, and they're like... 11-14 or so. Lillian's probably the youngest, justifying her status as the Least Helpful One but also making Sy creepier. He's a Wildbow protagonist, after all. Ok that might be a bit unfair to say, since Blake/Rose seem relatively normal and only gain their creepiness after several arcs of Magic Bullshit and Petty Squabbles. As far as apparent, obvious creepiness goes, Taylor Hebert is an outlier. Also, I think it's cute that Jamie calls Sy Sly. It's like a nickname for a nickname, in addition to being some sort of strange code. It seems like a potential ship, but it's one with a snowball's chance in hell of ever occuring. This is Pseudo-Victorian Biopunk Hell Nightmare England, after all. If society isn't homophobic as fuck (which probably trickles down to our protagonists), I'll eat my hat. Anyway, I suspect this group is more concerned with spy bullshit and fighting than they are with romance; Bow doesn't seem to care much for writing it. Plot twist, I'm completely wrong and Twig is a romantic comedy / teen drama that just happens to be set in Pseudo-Victorian Biopunk Hell Nightmare England. Honestly, I'd be fine with that. That would honestly be quite the unique premise, and Bow could probably pull it off. ```I made the universal gesture for money, rubbing thumb against two fingers.``` Is this gesture old enough to not be an anachronism? Answer: I have no idea and I couldn't find a source that states how old it is. ```“I’ll give you this on good faith. Eight whole dollars if you follow through. I need you to do something for me.”``` What are these mysterious British dollars of which Sy speaks? ```“You lied to him,” Jamie said. “Would you rather I told the truth?” I asked.``` No shit, Sherlock. Is Jamie's sole purpose going to be saying obvious things? ```“That’s not what I’m asking,” Jamie said.``` Yes. Yes it is. Currently, Jamie and Lillian seem equally pointless in my mind. Though Sy seems to kinda almost respect Jamie, for reasons as of yet unknown. ```I passed under Lillian a second time, peeking up her skirt a second time, more to needle her than out of any lingering curiosity.`` So he's just being a jerk, and for seemingly no reason at that. +5 creepiness points for Sy, I guess. Now I'm starting to question if Lillian's more competent than he makes her out to be; there's a 100% chance he's an unreliable narrator. Also, it seems increasingly likely that Sy/Lillian is going to be the official couple, if such a concept ends up being relevant. "They seemingly hate each other, but they're actually madly in love" is far too common a trope and frustrating for so many reasoms, but I'm pretty sure it's at play here. ```Helen was there, sitting with one foot propped up, both hands in her lap to keep her skirt pressed down. Her face was still expressionless.``` Glad to know Helen's still engaging in worryingly inhuman behavior (how does someone look _completely_ expressionless?). She's so far acted more like an alien or a robot than a human being (though she's probably still human; it'd be kind of out of left field if she wasn't-- intelligent inhumans aren't generally allowed to be anything other than murderous and extremely anti-protagonist in stories of the kind Twig is clearly loosely emulating). ```and to the volumes of genetic code for Felidae and Eunectes Murinus.``` So that Ambiguous Monster is really some sort of ~~magically~~ scientifically created cat/anaconda hybrid. I feel like there's potential for a pun there, but I can't think of a good one (or even a _bad_ one). ```A whole chapter on digestive enzymes. Diagrams of the thing’s fangs, which I had glimpsed as it devoured the mother cat, with labels for the reservoirs of venom that wasn’t true venom. It was enzymes, much like the ones bugs used to dissolve their meals before supping them. Notes suggested that the feature helped with the digestion of any and all food.``` Actually, it's a _venomous_ cat/anaconda mess. This strikes me as almost cartoonishly over the top, and sillier than it is creepy. I can't take this seriously. ```I thought of Gordon’s gesture. Touching his nose. Scents? Pheromones. It was how he controlled the beast he had made.``` Yeah, that doesn't seem like it's likely to backfire at all! (/sarcasm) I'm guessing that this will relate to how the beast is ultimately defeated (they probably won't actually defeat it, just use pheromones to get it to attack its master while they RUN THE FUCK AWAY), but that vial of venom will definitely be relevant later. ```He had a carving knife to Gordon’s throat. Presumably the same one he’d used to cut open the creature’s meal and get its attention.``` Eh, this is a world where science is just sufficiently analyzed magic, so I doubt that Gordon would actually be killed by tha``t. If this fucker can make a catsnake, then Gordon can definitely come back from the dead (though there'll probably be a catch, since otherwise death would be too cheap and meaningless). ```At thirteen, Lillian was the oldest of us. Gordon was only twelve as of last month.``` Oh my god they're all babies. They're too young for this, but that's kind of the point of child soldiers, which they seem to be something similar to. Also, I'm honestly really surprised Lillian's the oldest. And I'm guessing that this makes Sy _11_ or so, which just adds to his creepiness and makes me wonder if he actually understands _why_ looking under her skirt pisses Lillian off. Also, snake man doesn't really seem to care if he's killing people or not. Are all of the villains going to be this level of almost cartoonish evil? ```“It’s a name they’ll give you,” Gordon said. “They’ll make you a monster. It’s what the Academy does. Dehumanizes the dangerous ones. You can’t get all of us, not with the way things are, here. Some are bound to escape. They’ll tell people, and those people will find you. You know the resources the Academy has.”``` So it seems like they actually do work for the Academy in some fashion; Sy seems like he's the Designated Liar And Champion of Bullshitting here. ```“This is not my fault,” the snake charmer said. “The Academy… this rests on their shoulders, not mine. You can’t enroll without showing your skill, and you can’t show your skill without experimenting, but oh, no, they don’t allow that, do they?”``` I feel like that was supposed to humanize the snake charmer somewhat, but it really... doesn't? He's still literally threatening to murder children? And he seems to think of murder as a reasonable sacrifice if it means he'll get to be successful like he wants. ```“I’m a student there,” Lillian said. “I just started, but… I’m enrolled. First year of study. Not them. Just me.”``` Lillian, you don't just _say that_ to the fucker with a grudge against everything you stand for. God, I kind of hate Lillian now. The others will probably protect her, but that's no excuse for recklessness. ```He didn’t throw at me, but at the floor. The chance of me catching it was small, but by throwing it at the floor, he could guarantee that the bottle would shatter into a spray I couldn’t possibly shield all of myself from. The pain was sharp, at first, droplets touching skin, immediately breaking it down. Then it burned.``` Wow, that was a _terrible_ plan, Sy. I know not everyone can be Taylor Hebert and instantly come up with ridiculous plans, but that was just a _bad_ move in all regards. I know he's practically a child, but still. Also, I feel like this is probably a case of Hollywood Acid, but that's neither here nor there. ```Gordon was the hero, golden haired, noble, likeable. Talented.``` He's gonna die (but not right now; he needs to be established before he dies). There's a 100% chance of it: Gordon's clearly being set up as something of a cool older brother for Sy to look up to, and those characters _always_ die. Sy'll inherit his role despite not being meant for leadership and there'll be drama and it'll all be _boring_. ```“Then shield your eyes. But your job is to keep us in one piece. Sly is hurt. Focus, and make sure he doesn’t die.”``` She's the team medic? I guess that makes her somewhat more useful than Jamie, who doesn't seem to serve a purpose? It's not like you need an entire member of the team to be fully dedicated to keeping lookout on all missions, and Jamie didn't even seem to be particularly good at it. ```"I have to say, I’m very interested in what the fuck you were doing, faking that fall, setting yourself up to get hurt just now,” Gordon said. “You’ll have to tell me later, when you can talk again.”``` I doubt he was doing anything other than being an impulsive pre-teen with a seeming death wish (like all pre-teens, to be honest). ```Helen spoke for the first time in a while. Her voice was cute. “The Academy sends its regards, Mr. Snake Charmer.”``` Ok so Helen is downright terrifying... and somehow, I get the impression that Bow will make her into the most sympathetic one (from my POV, anyway). I really can't see myself growing to like S(l)y, I dislike Lillian immensely and possibly unjustifiably, Gordon seems uninteresting, and Jamie's the worst member of the group by a mile. I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen in the future, aside from my "Gordon's going to fucking die" prediction, and that was basically confirmed the second he was revealed to be the leader. I could probably come up with some theories, if I had a better idea as to _what the fuck_ is going on.
Side Notes:
Interestingly, the original (who is probably best referred to as Adam to go with Victor; Shelley loved herself some Paradise Lost) wasn't actually made from reanimated body parts; he was made by studying corpses, not from them. He was made of flesh from slaughterhouses and such, but it was not crudely stitched together, but rather repurposed and reconstructed through means of an unspecified and extremely time-consuming (it takes Victor multiple years, iirc) scientific process, if I am not mistaken.
I should probably reread that just to see how much Twig ends up borrowing from it. I probably won't, but I should.
It can be read (in a wide variety of formats) on Project Gutenberg. Here's a link to the basic html version which should be readable on most devices (though the Table of Contents is formatted moderately strangely). I haven't tested using a screen reader with it, but I might later. It is also available here for a somewhat differently-formatted experience. It may not work in all browsers, due to its heavy reliance on CSS3.
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FaceOff Prompts
I’m a really big fan of the Syfy show FaceOff u guiz, and I’ve basically watched through all the episodes at this point. I really love the way they challenge contestants to think outside the box with designs and executions, but I’ve noticed that after twelve seasons there are certain premises they’ve repeated a lot and certain premises they haven’t touched at all even as basic concepts.
So, based on the number of contestants they generally have per season and the number of prompts they have per season, I’m going to put up a few things here for shits and giggles. I’m doing two seasons just to show not out of ideas and all, there’s a lot that can still be done.
If anyone feels like doing this as art prompts or otherwise that would be cool as hell, I’m just dinking here thinking about what might be a good time haha.
Season X
17 Contestants (14 episodes)
Episode 1: Alchemy
(17 Contestants, double elimination)
Prompt: Design an alchemist who is turning into one of the elements. Contestants choose their elements based purely on the alchemical symbol, and are then given photos of their element, symbolic connotations, and scientific properties.
Episode 2: Mixed Medium
(15 Contestants)
Prompt: Using only body paint, make real models fit into 2-D scenes featuring heavily stylized backdrops.
Episode 3: Funny Animals
(14 Contestants)
Prompt: Create a heavily stylized animal person in the spirit of Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald, or Goofy.
Episode 4: Ms. Monstrous
(13 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants are challenged to make a female horror makeup inspired by the Alien queen, Mama, and Regan MacNeil. No beauty makeups allowed here, the monster must be female and must be grotesque.
Episode 5: Deep Sea
(12 Contestants)
Prompt: With creatures like the angler fish, ghost sharks, vampire squids, and gulper eels, it’s no wonder people scare each other discussing cryptids like the bloop or ningen mermaid. Contestants must each choose a deep sea animal as inspiration for designing a mysterious beast of their own.
Episode 6: Hauntings
(11 Contestants)
Prompt: Inspired by The Possession, Ringu, and The Orphanage, contestants are challenged to craft their own ghost or malevolent spirit.
Episode 7: Alien Conspiracies
(10 Contestants)
Prompt: Taking inspiration from real life conspiracy theories, contestants must show their interpretations of reptilian, grey, mantis, pleiadean, and flatwoods aliens.
Episode 8: Incubi
(9 Contestants)
Prompt: A beauty makeup challenge, many people are familiar with the nightmarish side of demons and the alluring succubi who dot their ranks. However, less commonly represented are incubi, male demons who tempt women and men with their sensuality. This challenge is to design a male demon who does look extremely attractive, but has a dark and disturbing element to their design simultaneously.
Episode 9: Retrofuturistic Citizen
(8 Contestants)
Prompt: Some of the best science fiction films were made during previous eras, and it shows in how they conceptualized science fiction at the time. Contestants must each choose a decade from between the 1900′s and the 1980′s then use that period to inform designs for a futuristic character of their own. The catch is that since the world these characters belong to are futuristic, all characters must include evidence of their world’s technology incorporated into the design.
Episode 10: Retrofuturistic Abomination
(7 Contestants, Double Elimination)
Prompt: Continuing off the previous prompt with the threat of a double elimination, this time contestants must make some kind of monster to oppose their citizens. These abominations show their world’s technology and retrofuturistic aesthetic twisted into something menacing.
Episode 11: Surrealism
(5 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants are challenged to take inspiration from creators like Salvador Dali, Rene Magritte, Max Ernst, Yves Tanguy, Vladimir Kush, and Rob Gonsalves to create dreamlike beings of their own.
Episode 12: The Four Horsemen
(4 Contestants)
Prompt: In the bible’s book of revelation there are said to be four horsemen of the apocalypse. Extensive subjects of debate and interpretation, pop culture commonly interprets these horsemen as Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death. The contestants must each choose and design their own horseman of the apocalypse.
Episode 13: Royal Treatment Part 1
(Finalists, 3 Contestants)
Prompt: The finalists are each challenged to create their own opulent king and queen as well as a servant who is in love with the queen. One, and only one, of the characters must be evil and contestants cannot overlap in which character they make evil. Together they will perform a choreographed dance at a ball as part of the finale. Each contestant will also have to choose a theme for their monarchs: fantasy, science fiction, or horror.
Episode 14: Royal Treatment Part 2
(Finalists, 3 Contestants)
SEASON Y
16 Contestants (14 episodes)
Episode 1: Camouflage
(16 Contestants)
Prompt: Using organisms that have evolved to blend in with their environment, contestants must design humans whose bodies similarly adapted to blend into different surroundings.
Episode 2: Life Size
(15 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants must make a whimsical living toy companions for children.
Episode 3: Inside Out
(14 Contestants)
Prompt: Each contestant is assigned an internal element of the human body (e.g. veins, muscle, bones, tissue, etc.) and must use that element as inspiration for the exterior of a horrifying demon.
Episode 4: Fair is Foul
(13 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants select creatures from humans, elves, and fairies then, without erasing conventional features or values, must design a villain of that race who would be considered horrifying and depraved.
Episode 5: Foul is Fair
(12 Contestants, Double Elimination)
Prompt: Contestants select creatures from orcs, goblins, and ghouls then, without erasing conventional features or values, must design a hero of that race who could be considered appealing and admirable.
Episode 6: Pimp My AI
(10 Contestants)
Prompt: Taking inspiration from luxury and modified cars, contestants have to design their own stylish robots.
Episode 7: Shiver Me Timbers
(9 Contestants)
Prompt: Taking inspiration from Peter Pan, Captain Hook, and Never Never Land, contestants must design their own pirate to man the Jolly Roger.
Episode 8: Left Behind
(8 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants create horror villains who might linger in abandoned hospitals, warehouses, amusement parks, schools, asylums, subways, government bunkers, and farms.
Episode 9: Desert Dwellers
(7 Contestants)
Prompt: Each contestant chooses a desert from one of the seven continents. These are the Sahara Desert, the Gobi Desert, the Mojave Desert, the Atacama Desert, the Tabernas Desert, the Great Victoria Desert, and the Antarctic Desert. Artists design cryptids that might emerge from each location.
Episode 10: Crops and Livestock
(6 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants are presented with common farm animals including pigs, horses, cattle, chickens, goats, sheep as well as plants including wheat, corn, potatoes, carrots, pumpkins, and lettuce, with the challenge of creating hybrids that might appear on a science-fiction farm.
Episode 11: City Slickers
(5 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants design characters to portray spirits of various cities based on their histories, architectures, and styles.
Episode 12: Angels
(4 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants must take inspiration from some of the more inhuman, original descriptions of angels to make creatures both monstrous and benevolent.
Episode 13: Horror History Part 1
(Finalists, 3 Contestants)
Prompt: Contestants each have to design three characters for short scenes inspired by the iconic horror stories Mask of the Read Death (Prospero, the Red Death, and a plague-ridden guest turned narrator), A Shadow Over Innsmouth (Innsmouth citizen, Deep One, and a partially transformed narrator), and The Yellow Wallpaper (John, the woman in the wallpaper, the narrator driven mad as she appears at the end).
Episode 14: Horror History Part 2
(Finalists, 3 Contestants)
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to make you cringe on a bad day xD don’t read all just scroll to something random lol
sometimes you need a really bad mood lifter.
Look we all need it.
Just read them
Some of them don’t make sense so uh
yea
enjoy children
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
“‘I’ll call you later.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads “Small medium at large.”
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“Waitress: ‘And here’s the check. Is there anything else I can get you?’ Dad: ‘Someone to pay the check?’
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
“What’s ET short for? Because he’s only got little legs.”
“What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.”
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
“What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose.”
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh.
“On all of my medical forms growing up my dad wrote ‘red’ for my blood type. To this day no one knows my actual blood type.”
“What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.”
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Without geometry life is pointless.
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1
I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
“Anytime I do something smart my dad says, ‘Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!’”
What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Hans free.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
Bicycles can’t stand on their own, they’re two tired.
Just watched a documentary about beavers… It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”
“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!”
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.
“We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, ‘Any condiments?’ My dad responded, ‘Compliments? You look very nice today!’”
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian – they’re not laughing now.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my Dad,” Are you going to put it up yourself?” Dad replied, “Don’t be disgusting, I’m going to put it in the living room. “
I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up!
Q: What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe? A: 400 Million Dollars.
Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where’s popcorn?
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill”
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
How do you make a hankie dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles
What do you call Jay-Z when he’s sleeping? Jay Zzzzzzzzzz.
A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”
: Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you’re pretty repulsive yourself.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
I knew i shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now i’m feeling a little… Eel
What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I’ll ketch up
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Hold on, I have something in my shoe” “I’m pretty sure it’s a foot”
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base? Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Dad I’m hungry … “Hi hungry” I’m dad
When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.
“I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’”
Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!
When Dad drops a pea off of his plate ‘oh dear I’ve pee’d on the table!
How do you know when you are going to drown in milk? When its past your eyes!
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Weekend Reccos | Pop Culture Picks on Food & Travel
Team NGTI cherry-picks movies and books rooted in travel and food.
Food + Drink Inspire Me! NGT Staff | POSTED ON: November 1, 2019
A still from Julia & Julia, with Meryl Streep as Julia Child.
For our November’s recommendation list, we picked a topic that has a universal appeal: food and travel. From documentaries on sushi to food in a universe driven by magic realism, these titles sure had us salivating. We hope they tickle your taste buds too.
Films
Jiro Dreams Of Sushi
Before hitting play, app-in some sushi. You’ll crave it, 200 per cent, at the end of David Gelb’s 2011 documentary, a cinematic ode to Tokyo’s unbeatable sushi crafter, Jiro Ono. Shot inside Sukiyabashi Jiro, the 10-seater three-Michelin-starred tucked in a subway station, the film rhapsodises about Jiro’s skills and his focused obsessiveness about moulding perfect lumps of nigiri every single day of his life, even at 85. Scenes from Tokyo’s Tsukiji fish market and its singing tuna auctioneers add value, but it’s the montages that impress: Jiro’s wrinkled fingers flatten eels, sardines and tunas with the fluid dexterity of a conductor, orchestrating to Philip Glass’s score, which, though repetitive, crescendos, just like Jiro’s rhythm of making sushi. Even at my age, in my work, I haven’t reached perfection, he says in the film, and in saying that, Jiro exemplifies Japanese perfectionism.
— Humaira Ansari
Julie & Julia
Nora Ephron’s Julie & Julia is a gastronomical treat for the eyes. Failed writer-cum-comfort- food-seeker Julie Powell is bent on challenging her mundane life in modern-day New York, and finds solace in her childhood icon, French chef Julia Child, whose 1950s journey with food in Paris is the stuff of legend. Powell pledges to cook all 524 recipes listed in Child’s book Mastering the Art of French Cooking—in 365 days. As she whips up Child’s famous beef bourguignon, lobster thermidor and a Queen of Sheba chocolate cake, a gratifying journey with food begins—for both Powell and Child (epitomised by Amy Adams and Meryl Streep perfectly), as well as for the foodie watching each dish on display…with just a little bit of drool oozing out.
–– Sanjana Ray
Tampopo
Random vignettes of actual food porn, a gourmet gangster, and the saga of a perfect bowl of ramen intertwine themselves into the narrative of this avante garde ‘ramen western.’ Directed by Juzo Itami, Tampopo is as 1980s as it gets…and then some. The overarching theme of this beautiful, batshit food flick follows the story of a trailblazing widow desperate to keep her late husband’s ramen shop up and running in Japan; but the film’s depth delves into smashing the patriarchy, the power food holds over people, and the beau ideal moment of creating something with all your heart and soul.
— Julian Manning
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat
Ever wonder what it’d be like to eat to your heart’s content around the world? Samin Nosrat did exactly that in her Netflix documentary Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. In the eponymous cookbook, the 39-year-old chef and food writer journeyed places far and wide in search of elements that define good cooking. She discovered that good cooking is, in fact, universal. From tasting slivers of pork fat and cheese in Italy that melt like butter and the revelation of profound effects of sea salt in Japan, to the acidic surprises of oranges and Mayan honey in Mexico, and the power of heat to unlock flavours of food at home in California—the four-part docu-series is a visual treat bound to get appetites racing.
— Pooja Naik
Ramen Heads
Every day except Wednesdays, a queue begins to swell outside a closed shopfront in the Japanese city of Matsudo at dawn. The doors open only at 11 a.m., and the hungry pilgrims are let in to eat bowls of Japan’s best ramen at Chuka Soba Tomita Ramen. The documentary Ramen Heads is a behind-the-curtains exploration of the discipline and obsession of Osamu Tomita, the chef who creates ramen so perfect that it’s edible art.
Tomita’s process of creating tonkotsu-gyokai dipping broth—rich with pig’s head, seafood, bamboo shoots and char siu—and slurpable noodles, is a recipe of pleasure. The film also features other iconic ramen chefs, gently simmering with insight on Japan’s fervour for the dish and the genius it inspires.
— Kareena Gianani
Chef
Jon Favreau’s 2014 film, Chef, tugged at heartstrings and made stomachs growl in equal measure. It is the story of a beaten restaurant chef, Carl Casper (Favreau), who leaves glittering Los Angeles to drive a food-truck across America and rekindle his relationship with his estranged son. The movie also features scenes which make viewers beg for a bite for the food Favreau cooks on-screen—whether it’s the succulent, oozing, gooey cheese sandwich or the Cubano sandwich he sells in his food truck. Food often acts as balm for relationships, and the scenes where Casper takes his son to eat the famed beignets at New Orleans’s Café Du Monde or 12-hour roasted brisket in Austin, show just that. It’s time to go make a sandwich.
–– Lubna Amir
Books
The Gastronomical Me
Every food essayist owes some debt to M.F.K. Fisher, a writer with a gourmand’s relish for life. This prose collection is ostensibly a memoir, tackling childhood, marriage, sex and loneliness, all in her elliptical narrative style. However, culinary enthusiasts prize it for what it really is—a slow-burning journey of a woman’s passion for food. Right from her delight at swallowing her first oyster in America to stealing caviar-accompanied moments with her lover in France, Fisher practised good eating like a preacher, and in her vivid, sensual descriptions of food, made apostles of many a reader.
— Lakshmi Sankaran
Like Water for Chocolate
An appetite for real emotions, and one for quail in rose petal sauce or fat Christmas rolls, is what you bring to the table when Mexican novelist Laura Esquivel throws a banquet named Like Water for Chocolate. This is the story of Tita and Pedro, young lovers hungry enough to swindle fate for each other, yet somehow always shortchanged by malevolent stars. Food features in the novel as heavily as love, cream fritters or Champandongo casseroles, complete with old-fashioned recipes laid down whimsically, an extension of the novel’s magic realism.
It is safe to say that Tita and Pedro’s cosmic love travels from the kitchen to the dinner tables to bedroom of Mama Elena’s family ranch, kindling both passion and devastation in its wake. Bound and freed by its surrealism, this is not your typical travel narrative. But if you’ve ever wanted to travel to turn-of-the-century rural Mexico, beautiful and explosive in its revolution, here’s the ticket.
— Sohini Das Gupta
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Weekend Reccos | Pop Culture Picks on Food & Travel
Team NGTI cherry-picks movies and books rooted in travel and food.
Food + Drink Inspire Me! NGT Staff | POSTED ON: November 1, 2019
A still from Julia & Julia, with Meryl Streep as Julia Child.
For our November’s recommendation list, we picked a topic that has a universal appeal: food and travel. From documentaries on sushi to food in a universe driven by magic realism, these titles sure had us salivating. We hope they tickle your taste buds too.
Films
Jiro Dreams Of Sushi
Before hitting play, app-in some sushi. You’ll crave it, 200 per cent, at the end of David Gelb’s 2011 documentary, a cinematic ode to Tokyo’s unbeatable sushi crafter, Jiro Ono. Shot inside Sukiyabashi Jiro, the 10-seater three-Michelin-starred tucked in a subway station, the film rhapsodises about Jiro’s skills and his focused obsessiveness about moulding perfect lumps of nigiri every single day of his life, even at 85. Scenes from Tokyo’s Tsukiji fish market and its singing tuna auctioneers add value, but it’s the montages that impress: Jiro’s wrinkled fingers flatten eels, sardines and tunas with the fluid dexterity of a conductor, orchestrating to Philip Glass’s score, which, though repetitive, crescendos, just like Jiro’s rhythm of making sushi. Even at my age, in my work, I haven’t reached perfection, he says in the film, and in saying that, Jiro exemplifies Japanese perfectionism.
— Humaira Ansari
Julie & Julia
Nora Ephron’s Julie & Julia is a gastronomical treat for the eyes. Failed writer-cum-comfort- food-seeker Julie Powell is bent on challenging her mundane life in modern-day New York, and finds solace in her childhood icon, French chef Julia Child, whose 1950s journey with food in Paris is the stuff of legend. Powell pledges to cook all 524 recipes listed in Child’s book Mastering the Art of French Cooking—in 365 days. As she whips up Child’s famous beef bourguignon, lobster thermidor and a Queen of Sheba chocolate cake, a gratifying journey with food begins—for both Powell and Child (epitomised by Amy Adams and Meryl Streep perfectly), as well as for the foodie watching each dish on display…with just a little bit of drool oozing out.
–– Sanjana Ray
Tampopo
Random vignettes of actual food porn, a gourmet gangster, and the saga of a perfect bowl of ramen intertwine themselves into the narrative of this avante garde ‘ramen western.’ Directed by Juzo Itami, Tampopo is as 1980s as it gets…and then some. The overarching theme of this beautiful, batshit food flick follows the story of a trailblazing widow desperate to keep her late husband’s ramen shop up and running in Japan; but the film’s depth delves into smashing the patriarchy, the power food holds over people, and the beau ideal moment of creating something with all your heart and soul.
— Julian Manning
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat
Ever wonder what it’d be like to eat to your heart’s content around the world? Samin Nosrat did exactly that in her Netflix documentary Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. In the eponymous cookbook, the 39-year-old chef and food writer journeyed places far and wide in search of elements that define good cooking. She discovered that good cooking is, in fact, universal. From tasting slivers of pork fat and cheese in Italy that melt like butter and the revelation of profound effects of sea salt in Japan, to the acidic surprises of oranges and Mayan honey in Mexico, and the power of heat to unlock flavours of food at home in California—the four-part docu-series is a visual treat bound to get appetites racing.
— Pooja Naik
Ramen Heads
Every day except Wednesdays, a queue begins to swell outside a closed shopfront in the Japanese city of Matsudo at dawn. The doors open only at 11 a.m., and the hungry pilgrims are let in to eat bowls of Japan’s best ramen at Chuka Soba Tomita Ramen. The documentary Ramen Heads is a behind-the-curtains exploration of the discipline and obsession of Osamu Tomita, the chef who creates ramen so perfect that it’s edible art.
Tomita’s process of creating tonkotsu-gyokai dipping broth—rich with pig’s head, seafood, bamboo shoots and char siu—and slurpable noodles, is a recipe of pleasure. The film also features other iconic ramen chefs, gently simmering with insight on Japan’s fervour for the dish and the genius it inspires.
— Kareena Gianani
Chef
Jon Favreau’s 2014 film, Chef, tugged at heartstrings and made stomachs growl in equal measure. It is the story of a beaten restaurant chef, Carl Casper (Favreau), who leaves glittering Los Angeles to drive a food-truck across America and rekindle his relationship with his estranged son. The movie also features scenes which make viewers beg for a bite for the food Favreau cooks on-screen—whether it’s the succulent, oozing, gooey cheese sandwich or the Cubano sandwich he sells in his food truck. Food often acts as balm for relationships, and the scenes where Casper takes his son to eat the famed beignets at New Orleans’s Café Du Monde or 12-hour roasted brisket in Austin, show just that. It’s time to go make a sandwich.
–– Lubna Amir
Books
The Gastronomical Me
Every food essayist owes some debt to M.F.K. Fisher, a writer with a gourmand’s relish for life. This prose collection is ostensibly a memoir, tackling childhood, marriage, sex and loneliness, all in her elliptical narrative style. However, culinary enthusiasts prize it for what it really is—a slow-burning journey of a woman’s passion for food. Right from her delight at swallowing her first oyster in America to stealing caviar-accompanied moments with her lover in France, Fisher practised good eating like a preacher, and in her vivid, sensual descriptions of food, made apostles of many a reader.
— Lakshmi Sankaran
Like Water for Chocolate
An appetite for real emotions, and one for quail in rose petal sauce or fat Christmas rolls, is what you bring to the table when Mexican novelist Laura Esquivel throws a banquet named Like Water for Chocolate. This is the story of Tita and Pedro, young lovers hungry enough to swindle fate for each other, yet somehow always shortchanged by malevolent stars. Food features in the novel as heavily as love, cream fritters or Champandongo casseroles, complete with old-fashioned recipes laid down whimsically, an extension of the novel’s magic realism.
It is safe to say that Tita and Pedro’s cosmic love travels from the kitchen to the dinner tables to bedroom of Mama Elena’s family ranch, kindling both passion and devastation in its wake. Bound and freed by its surrealism, this is not your typical travel narrative. But if you’ve ever wanted to travel to turn-of-the-century rural Mexico, beautiful and explosive in its revolution, here’s the ticket.
— Sohini Das Gupta
To subscribe to National Geographic Traveller India and National Geographic Magazine, head here.
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