#so now it feels like i'm at a standstill.... does that make sense????

[leslieseveride]

fuck me, i need to clean out my inbox. 😭😭😭

[hinamie]

wanted 2 make a bit of an update post to get a few things off my chest bc i feel like i've been a bit quiet on here compared 2 normal and for that i apologize gsdhjgfdsj I promise I will do better at being chronically online

in all seriousness though, ever since the jjk manga ended, I've started experiencing th dilemma where I am feeling less inspired but also twice as pressured to continue living up to the standard I set for myself by being so active while the manga was ongoing. i'm finding it's taking longer than it should to finish pieces that are not challenging enough to warrant the extra hours, it's harder to come up with what I think are original concepts, and overall i'm just anxious that the high i've been riding since april has finally begun its descent.

I know logically tht these expectations i'm worried about being unable to meet are entirely self-imposed. I /know/ that not every piece needs to be a profound character tribute packed with symbolism and hidden meanings, but tht doesn't change the fact that it still feels really disappointing when I try to dig for that emotional component that I was really loving in the art that was inspired by later manga chapters, only to come up short. I'm feeling myself defaulting back to drawing My Ship Posed Cutely, or Character Lineup In Cute Outfits, whereas before I was really feeling like my art was touching something beyond just surface-level aesthetic. This isn't to say that I don't think I can ever get back to creating those harder-hitting pieces, or that I /dislike/ my more lighthearted aesthetically-driven work, I'm just frustrated at myself for feeling like I have to now dig for what used to be so readily available.

there's no conclusion to this story gfhjsgd this is rly just a vent post. i've been doing this long enough to know that this is just part of what happens with any creative hobby. periods of feeling uninspired unfortunately come with the territory, n it makes sense that those feelings wld be exacerbated now that the series i take my main inspiration from has come to a standstill for the time being. but I don't feel burnt out on jjk yet, which is reassuring in that it means I know I still Want to draw the characters, no matter how boring or overdone all of my current ideas feel. i'm in no rush to move on from jjk as my main fandom either, although I do see myself sprinkling in more art for other series to pass the time n keep me Inspired while I wait for s3. so for those of you who found me through my art (probably most of u), i guess also pls take this as both warning and reassurance that you most likely Will see me start drawing for other fandoms in the coming months, but don't take it as meaning I've abandoned drawing for jjk

and as always, thank u all for sticking with me and for all the support and lovely words on my art, it rly does make my days brighter <3

[whatthefuckisasweep]

RvB: Restoration Thoughts

i don't hate restoration, it's honestly pretty alright for what RT was dealing with, but there is one thing that confuddles me the most: the characters "getting what they want"

I understand RT was trying to tie up the loose ends of the characters - everything kind of comes to this perfect standstill of an ending. yet, to me, it makes no sense.

the point of red vs blue was friendship and growth of the characters within the framework of church's story. the end that makes sense involves seeing all of them after they have come together through thick and thin. I know that wasn't possible given the alotted amount of time, but something doesn't sit right with just... giving the characters what they wanted in the first place.

because, here's the thing: it's not even what they want anymore. i would have much rather seen them realize what they wanted was not what they needed.

sarge dying isn't that horrible to me. i liked what he told grif and simmons, it was just so out of nowhere. i think it would have been better for sarge to try to sacrifice but have grif and simmons stop him and almost die because of it - kind of like s8. something like that, but he realizes through grif and simmons being a leader isn't about winning, but more keeping the morale of his men. and that grif saving him so many times is a testament to how well he does as a leader. i like people saying sarge should retire. i don't know how'd they'd get there, but i like it. just be like. "you know what, boys? I'm... done with this" at the end and they're like "WHAT?" and sarge is like, "heh. don't act too damn shocked, now." and then make a joke about his age or somethng lmfao.

grif wanted to be "discharged". i would have loved to see him just... stay working with the guys given the choice to leave freely. and not just because there is a mission, or "for old time's sake". nah, because he loves them. of course, he wouldn't say that out loud. but i wanted to see grif charge headfirst into danger, like he had in s16 and so many times before, and have it BE for church and caboose. i love his little message to caboose at the end for that.

simmons who got to "be a leader"... this one i don't have as much qualms with, but i still feel like simmons could have realized what he needed wasn't to be a leader, but to have others believe in him. sarge telling him that he's proud should have still happened imo, but simmons could have turned down being a leader and offered it to Lopez or donut or something, it would have shown how much he grew. Not only that, but i imagine he would say something like "what, and leave grif unattended while i corral all you guys? no way." all snootily. could be a great to diss grif while everyone's in shock

donut honestly got a great arc in s17, so i'm kind of OK without him. but i LOVE him so like. simmons promotes him to the leader, as kind of a callback to that time they did the sarge, lopez, simmons competition in s3. that way he can still kind of be an admiral. :) and he's not a rookie anymore. and he holds like little fairs on Chorus where they do ring toss or something to do with throwing haha

lopez being donut's second in command would be HILARIOUS. like lopez i think could have had more. he's so underappreciated, and having him be like some kind authority figure would be so warranted. especially with donut's bad spanish skills. oh my god.

doc was SO slandered. i know he wanted to go out HELPING people but i think the whole thing about DOC WAS THAT HIS WHOLE THING WAS NOT ABOUT HELPING OTHERS BUT BEING FORGOTTEN AND CAST ASIDE. i think doc should get recognition and eventually be a bad doctor (still) at General Doyle's hospital, where him and omalley work at the mental health ward (sometimes successfully and sometimes unsucessfully due to omalley). or maybe he could come in at a moment where they're at the lowest to save the day. i would have loved a highlighted doc moment. if he had to die, at least do it ON SCREEN so he gets the recognition.

church & tex ... their end was pretty alright, i don't have that much to say. I think them dying like that was good, knowing that their friends loved them and that caboose was the one to restore everything to peace. i think that was the right choice and what they needed.

caboose was pretty ace in this, he was the only one that i was like. i don't really have much to say. i would have maybe put more caboose washington moments, considering they were the only two active blues left. and maybe more caboose church moments, just to have church say he's his best friend one last time.

tucker got SO sleighted. bro got like 4 lines of dialogue. and one of them was being tortured for 10 YEARS like are you kidding? i think tucker being the Great Destroyer was one of the best things that they called back to, i wish they did something for tucker about him settlin down and wanting to be a better father for junior, and more scenes with church and tucker. the chorus fight they had.... i would havevloved to see them argue about just LEAVING the blues like that.

wash and lina didn't got much, but i did like wash being in hospital and needing to let go of the freelancers. i wish that lina and him could have had that scene together in hospital. i wish the blues were more invovled with that. i think what wash needed was family; and to see more of that would have felt more satisfying.

anyways, that's my scrambled thoughts on the whole thing after thinking on it a little longer. it doesn't really matter, because based on epsilon's recap, it oculd have all been a simulation anyways, but, :P yeah

[i-wanna-die-like-now]

I'm drunk and I have some thoughts on this.

@alteredphoenix I completely agree! The ice core is amazing and I love it for him-

But!

It has never really made sense to me, nothing about Danny screams ice or cold, I get that it's also a major factor in his ghost sense but man they missed hard, his character (to me) shows warmth and energy.

So... looking Into what Ice and cold can represent in media,

This one sort of fits, being a halfa is new territory, for both him and the ghost zone. Him falling into his powers and discovering new things. All uncharted, new.

Rigidity and stillness... Not so much, Dannys life takes off in so many new directions, there isn't a standstill in his life and he definitely isn't devoid of sentiment. If anything he has more, he's using everything he has just to save people, because it's the "right" thing to do. He has so many emotions and thoughts on all this new information he is being exposed to, processing so many new things.

Absent of hate, yeah I see that, true hate? That's something I think takes a lot for Danny to feel, along with wrath.

This one fits extremely well, Danny has to be really mentally unwell after everything he's been through, he's around his parents that are constantly spouting how much they hate his kind and what they want to do to them. Lack of love? I'm sure he's feeling that, ik I would be. But it also doesn't fit because he has the love of most people in his life, his friends and Jazz, even his parents (albeit half the time) I think it's a huge part of the show how much love he is surrounded with, their friendship is a huge part of it. Jazz accepting him and him accepting Dani, there isn't a lack of love.

(I haven't watched the show in a hot minute tho)

Death, absolutely, he's dead. He's surrounded by death and other dead people.

I don't see Dannys character of one of hatred or destruction, Dan. Sure, but we're talking about Danny.

But most of these aren't in the show, they don't dive into it and so it comes off as extremely out of place. It's not like it makes no sense, him having ice powers was never something I thought needed to be changed, I still don't, it does make me think about why he does have an ice core though when electricity was right there.

Now here's my own thoughts on electricity and how that would have worked.

He died surrounded by electricity and ectoplasm, he can use ecto energy so it makes sense that he would also be able to use electricity. Vald isn't shown to use an ice core so it can't be that it because he’s half dead, there isn't a sold reason as to why it can't be electric. (I wish the show went into more details about cores)

Electricity to me shows warmth and power, Danny is shown to be powerful, he is a newly formed ghost and he manages to beat multiple strong ghosts that have been around for way longer than him. I took that as him being extremely powerful, he is also shown to be compassionate and caring. He's a good person with a good heart, being dead and warm doesn't go hand in hand but I don't think that matters all that much.

He's always moving and flowing, both with his movements in fights and his opinions and values. He's a growing teenage boy and is learning new things about himself and the world, ghosts and the zone included, he's growing and lighting a light in the kids of Amity. Sparking change for ghosts and painting them in a new light for humans. He's both a ray of hope for the citizens he's protecting and the ghosts he helping, almost like a new era, like when we discovered electricity and it changed our daily lives.

He's also dangerous, and deadly.

One wrong move and he could end a life, end whole cities (as shown in The Ultimate Enemy) much like one wrong move with electricity and you're left injured or dead.

Overall electricity is good and it helps us everyday but it can also cause serious harm and I think that suits Danny so well, him being afraid of what he can do with his powers after the whole Dan scare, the warmth he brings Amity and the zone, it fits him perfectly imo.

And them there's the angst of having a power that literally killed him, that would be terrifying.

[tallsc]

AvM Ep 33 Commentary

Gonna do a little bit of commentary and whatever important points I notice while watching through the episode, all below the cut so AVM EP 33 SPOILERS BELOW.

I actually love getting to see what more blocks do, not just the command block + lucky block cause a lot of these seem to have different effects and that's awesome. The chaos of this episode is absolutely gonna be Red's fault isn't it though, I see you sneaking off there.

Guys. Guys Yellow canonically sleeps. At some point they have managed to sleep. This is a miracle.

Red just flung the command block away to some random place is this gonna be important later? Also the creeper bee keeps showing up so that feels also important probably

Red just broke a universe oh n o and kidnapped the sentient-looking lucky orb thing

Wait they changed the layout of their house??? Why does Red sleep in the same room as Green???? Does Blue not sleep on the floor anymore??????? NOOO BLUE DOESN'T SLEEP ON THE FLOOR NOOOOOO

Also 1 I love how the orb block creature is animated and 2 they look kinda scared from my perspective, which makes sense if so cause they just got dragged to a new universe and there's this stick thing (which looks a lot like the kind of creature that kidnapped them last time) trying to get them again.

Orange is fighting much more defensively than usual, first three moves I see from them is to block an attack on Green, catch Red (justice for Arcade Games) and take out another shield.

Everyone's gotten very good at this though, I love seeing them employ their skills cause they've all gotten a lot stronger as time goes on. Blue with the potion, Yellow with even just the normal command block, ect

Oh no they've all been eaten IS THE BEE OKAY THO WAIT NO THE BEE'S BEEN TAKEN NOOO the bee's kinda okay though

Oh and you've taught the shiny chaos orb who doesn't seem to like you guys at all how to make block staffs that surely can only go well, I love the effect on the lucky block environment though it's so cool.

Red. Red did you learn that from Green. Using a pick to break lines of blocks coming at you so you can get closer to an enemy. Green used that on you Red. That feels very familiar.

Green that doesn't seem the most useful block to GREEN YOU JUST KILLED PEOPLE WITH MUSIC. THAT'S TERRIFYING. CAN YOU JUST SING SOMEONE TO DEATH???? LIKE WOULD THAT WORK UNDER YOUR OWN POWER IF YOU WERE GOOD ENOUGH AT IT??????

Blue the most acrobatic just pogo-ing their way to victory, also the slightly 3d shot of Red's sword in a standstill is interesting.

Please creeper bee don't explode by the end of this you're so sweet you make the ghast happy you make Red happy you make me happy you make everyone happy oh there you go into the hive

Red silly also Red's got two now, hoping they don't get to bring these home cause these seem overpowered if everyone's got them all the time

HA RED AIN'T POSSESSED BY HEROBRINE THIS TIME HEROBRINE'S CONTROLLED BY RED

Idk I'm probably gonna have to watch this fight a couple times I'm just enjoying the show rn, a lot of different fighting styles coming into play, a lot of interesting stuff you can put in the staff, a boat fighting people, tis fun.

How nice they put all the blocks back and surely the shiny chaos orb won't do anything wrong and is definitely not going to kill everyone with their newfound power

Just love the fighting styles used in this, Yellow and Red teaming up, Red helping Orange out, Green thinking with portals and grappling hook adjacent, Blue doing acrobatic flying, Red and Orange are embracing the powers of Herobrine and the Warden respectively, it's all great

Bedrock cages are kinda rude though smh SOMEONE GET THE BEE THE BEE SHALL SAVE US ALLLLLL MAYBE THE CHAOS ORB LIKES THE CHAOS HYBRID BEE

Wait they actually did get the bee I wrote that before Red did anything NOOOO THE BEE NOOOOOOOO THE BEE'S NOBLE SACRIFICE o7 you were my new favorite character gone but not forgotten

Yellow just looked so annoyed while waiting for their bedrock to break

THEY MADE A MEMORIAL TOO THANK YOU o7 bee I must draw fanart of them soon

On one hand f a i r but on the other you never got after Blue or Yellow that much for causing trouble, give Red a break they did save you all at least

Anyway ye there's my thoughts on the initial episode and most things I noticed off the bat, now time to see what other people think

[mastermindmp3]

If you just want the song analysis, skip to the next banner. However, I do think the context added by my rambling is at least interesting.

Hey, so remember how yesterday, I opened my analysis post with a comment about how I try to analyze the songs without analyzing Taylor Swift's life, because I feel it's limiting to my ability to understand the song. It's not a form of analysis I'm very good at either, frankly.

I feel like that comment goes especially so for But Daddy I Love Him. Because I was certainly there for the rat-filled fortnight, as in, he literally played guitar for Phoebe Bridgers at my show. And there's a lot I could say that has already been said, more eloquently and by people far more qualified.

I'm a biology student, not a sociologist. But as an Indigenous woman, there is a level of hurt that comes from the people we admire tolerating racism within their spaces, and how that can often play into revealing a pattern of behavior. On the opposite hand, I can see the annoyance (and indignation) that she was held more accountable for his actions than he was. Indeed, I believe that this is what the line "[My good name] is mine alone to disgrace" refers to. On the other, other hand, the whole situation leaves a powdery, bad taste in my mouth.

And now to never talk about that again, because I don't feel qualified to give you a conclusion on it. I'm still listening to the music, after all. The rest of my analysis will be from the perspective of the song as a story, not as diary, my preferred modus operandi.

I wanted to say all that as set up in: I didn't know what to think about this song. I was unsure what angle I wanted to talk about this song from, because divorcing it from the backlash was hard. She literally says "Scandal does funny things to pride," and we'll talk about that later.

Initially, I thought about covering against the grain readings. Recontextualizing the song completely, giving it a new meaning. I thought about maybe covering the history of forbidden romance as a genre (and its many evolutions, from ironically, interracial love stories to queer romance.) I even thought about talking about the Little Mermaid, tying the song into one of the pieces of iconic fiction, and tying that back into the idea of forbidden romance as a queer reading of straight fiction (Howard Ashman, the lead lyricist for Disney, ostensibly the heart of the Disney Renaissance, was a gay man whose partner accepted his Oscar after he had passed due to AIDs.)

And... none of that worked. There are like, five versions of this post in my google docs that will never see the light of day.

Sitting in standstill traffic trying to leave last night's Hozier concert, I finally came to a conclusion. Well, I didn't. Jean, who's previously helped me on both Little Tortured Poet's Department and My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, made a comment that "Without the rest of the album, [But Daddy I Love Him] reads like any 2003 emo song about a sleazy bassist. Sure, we know better, but the singer doesn't."

And that got me thinking: TTPD is an album that is very much in conversation with itself, and Taylor's discography as a whole. I said, "How much does not knowing that wider context change the song?" That's an angle to analyze, baby!

alternative title that wouldn't leave my mind: Dark AU!Love Story, don't like don't read

But Daddy I Love Him is, out of the whole album, the song that benefits from context the most. It is petulant, petty, the speaker digging in her heels on the subject of true love. Indeed, Scandal does funny things to pride. I jokingly referred to it as "Dark Love Story," but the songs are foils ( and likely intentionally, since both songs have to the singer begging "Daddy" to let her have her lover. It also makes sense to foil one of her most popular songs, so that general audiences are likely to make the connection. )

We, the audience, know that the Speaker's romantic interest isn't good for her. We don't like him, because likely, we've already listened to the previous songs on the tracklist, and he's already clearly hurt the singer. The prelude (in the CD and Vinyl booklets) refers to the album as one story, which helps set up this framework in the listener's mind.

However, even in the context of the song, there are scant hints of this. The Speaker, with her rose colored glasses firmly on, still refers to her lover as "crazy."

There's also an interesting tie to her older works, known affectionately on Reddit as Car Lore in the use of cars as metaphor for romance. To quote the seminal essay by u/Alex_Demote, "But for Taylor, being in a car is often the same thing as being in a relationship."

Here, the speaker's lover "[floors] it through the fences" at her request and they only hear "screeching tires and true love" His actions are incredibly dangerous. Even if she's told him to slam through the fence, anyone who actually loves her would say no. A joy ride isn't worth risking your life.

By literal laws of physics, screeching tires are tires that aren't moving. Whether the speaker knows it or not, this romance won't go anywhere, or if it does... well.

I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (imgonnagetyouback) / Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street (Red) / You were driving the getaway car, we were flying but we’d never get far (Getaway Car)

Though, do we know it's a car? Obviously, this is Car Lore I'm applying here, but our only other references to a land vehicle (aside from the Aston Martin, which is The Speaker) are in So High School, which has it's own parallels to But Daddy I Love Him, see below, and in imgonnagetyouback:

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet

And here comes my main point: Driving a car through a fence is reckless, yes, but not likely to be fatal. A bike? A bike? It's only with the context of the rest of the album that the danger our speaker was in comes into clear view. In the song itself, the Speaker only knows he's a bit of a troublemaker, but doesn't mind. She is either blind to the truth of the matter, or looking past it. After all, my boy only breaks his favorite toys. She'd rather burn her whole life down.

But, at the end of the song, her parents "came around" and while the "wine moms are still holding out," the Speaker seems quite happy to be "his lady." Time does give some perspective, but this song doesn't: though the final chorus could be reframed as about a new lover (as she says "Fuck 'em, it's over,") it still reads like everything worked out with her "wild boy."

Like I said on Down Bad, the songs on TTPD are slices of time. This song is the Speaker in a state of blind love, a poisoned honeymoon phase, and without the rest of the album of hindsight, the song just reads... Mean. The teenage prank of "I'm having his baby," refusing to "come to [her] senses," and even referring to herself as "not growing up at all," slamming through fences that someone else will have to fix. It's the exact kind of pettiness that a sixteen year old might pull.

Hey, speaking of sixteen: So High School. If But Daddy I Love Him is a dark take on forbidden love, So High School is its antidote, is that quintessential Boy Meets Girl, and plays deeply into high school cliches. It's also the only other mention of a land vehicle, to my knowledge. The speaker's infatuated with how her lover, "Got [her] car door, isn't that sweet?"

The other, very teenager-y love song on the record is so opposite. It's cheerful, and most importantly, the singer realizes it too. So High School serves to further contextualize But Daddy I Love Him as the speaker's attempt at a rebellious stage, and the rest of the album is her showing how it all crashed and burned.

Conclusion? Her daddy might love him, but he does NOT have land vehicle proficiency. And context can give far more perspective than time ever could.

also hey WDYM GET BACK HERE—

[skadiloki]

The Wolf Cried Hope Part 1

A/N:Guys I did it! I finally finished the first part of my story. I is proud baby😚. Okay so before you begin reading Ben a.k.a Soldier Boy is a bit OOC I kinda did it on purpose cause we don't really exactly know,at least from the shows standpoint,that he's entirely racist. I feel he's more indifferent towards black people or any person of color as a whole but that's just me. MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING this does contain sexual assault,some bits of sexual harassment and attempted rape so please be aware. I tried not to be too terribly graphic in order not to trigger myself in a sense but reader discretion advised. If anything like this has happened to anyone and I mean ANYONE please don't pull a me,I held it in for months until I finally told my mother,she never believed me cause she yelled at me,called me a liar and then processed to beat me for it but it is what it is,don't do it. Please seek help,I know it's easier said than done but please please please try. Cause it can def mess with your psyche and we don't want that. If it's too much for you to read that part you can scroll past it,it is long so I'm letting you know now,but other than that I hope you enjoy the first part of the story. I worked really hard so please enjoy it as much as you can. Oh,and for obvi reasons I used my tumblr name and not my real one. Happy reading peeps🤗

Words:6,395

(A'ight so I know Leonard is dead in The Boys franchise but let's pretend for a second that he actually lived after Butcher left for the British military and went to America with him at some point after. So right,I know I'm talkin a lot but hear me out. Butcher and the others,others being M.M,Annie,Hughie,and Soldier Boy need some extra help rightrightright with killing Homelander and shit so they go off to Leonard's house for that extra help. 👀👀 Took me mUuUmmfffs to try and come up with something so let's hope this works. Fingers crossed)

*It was Summer,a normal sunny day,perfect breeze,children playing in sprinklers,people barbecuing in their backyards just having the time of their lives like normal folk. Meanwhile Butcher and the others are in the current safehouse at a standstill contemplating their next move and what they should do in trying to take Homelander down for good*

Annie:We've literally tried everything and still haven't taken down Homelander. And we can't have another Herogasm incident.

M.M:If Soldier Boy couldn't take him out there aren't really any more options we can take here Annie.

Annie:My live should be more than enough to help some.

M.M:Yeah but how is that really going to help us take down Homelander in the long run?

Hughie:Maybe we can ask Frenchie to make something that could temporarily take out Homelander?

M.M:With how much time that we have,that'd be cutting it close Hughie.

Soldier Boy:Then how the hell do you figure we take the caped fuck out,huh?

Butcher:I may have an idea.

M.M:Well don't just sit there in silence motherfucker,tell us.

Butcher:I'm not sure it might even work.

Annie:What even is it Butcher?

Butcher:*Stands up from his chair* Come on you lot. We're goin on a trip.

Hughie:A trip to where?

Butcher:For our secret weapon.

Annie:How do you know this weapon will work Butcher?

Butcher:You just gotta trust me love. Come on.

M.M:Butcher,now isn't the time to fucking pussyfoot around the subject. Tell us what we're walking into man.

Butcher:You're just gonna have to trust me on this M.M. I know it don't sound like nothin but it's better than sittin here on our asses like a bunch of clueless cunts twiddling our goddamn thumbs. Just fuckin trust me yeah? We ain't got no more time to lose.

*Butcher leaves the safehouse while the others just sit there*

Annie:Are you sure we should trust him?

M.M:No,but what other choice do we have at this point? We better go before the bastard ends up killing himself.

Soldier Boy:You really think the limey actually has a weapon that can take out that overgrown pussy?

Hughie:He's the best we've got.

Soldier Boy:So the dumb fuck’s leading us to our deaths? Tch,Christ on a cross. How the fuck do we even know that the limey's not just trying to steer us in the wrong direction?

Annie:We don't. Let's just go. Something is better than nothing at this point.

*The four of them get up and leave the safehouse as well to see this so called “Secret weapon” Butcher spoke of. After a solid two hour and some change drive to Syracuse they pull into the driveway of a lovely two story gray home in a pretty chill community*

(Dis da house)

Hughie:This is your secret weapon? A house.

Butcher:It's not the house itself Hughie,it's what's inside the house.

Hughie:Well what's inside the house?

Butcher:You'll find out once we get it.

*He gets out of the car leaving Hughie there to his own thoughts*

Hughie:I've got a bad feeling about this.

*He gets out the car and stands outside along with the others just staring up at the house*

M.M:Are you sure this is the right place Butcher?

Butcher:Of course it is.

Annie:Is the secret weapon the house or something?

Butcher:No. Would you all just shut up,you're doin me head in with all these fuckin questions. Just come on.

Soldier Boy:How do we even know that there actually is a weapon in there strong enough to take out Homelander?

Butcher:For fuck's sake just trust me alright. *He walks up to the front door with the other cautiously behind him as he knocks on it waiting for someone on the other side to open it. A few moments pass by and the door opens revealing a familiar face* Hey Lenny.

Lenny:No. You need to leave,right now.

Butcher:Len please.

Lenny:Absolutely not. Billy you can't be here. You need to leave.

Soldier Boy:Who the fuck is this cocksucker?

Butcher:Oi! Watch it.

Annie:I'm sorry but who is this Butcher?

Butcher:He's my brother Lenny.

Hughie:Wait,you have a brother?

Butcher:Long story. Len,can we just talk,please?

Lenny:No,absolutely not. You can't just show up after all these years and want to talk. Please leave.

M.M:Hold on,hold on,hold on. Butcher. *He grabs his shoulder to slightly pull him back speaking in a quieter tone* Are you telling me that your brother is this secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:No. *Turns back to Lenny* Just gimme a few minutes of your time Len. I won't be long.

Lenny:Why should I even let you waste my time,huh? And for what,for you to run off and do fuck all?

Butcher:Alright now Lenny. I know ain't been in touch with ya in these last few years.

Lenny:No. I don't want to hear the excuses anymore Billy.

Butcher:Len I-

Soldier Boy:Enough of this. *He pushes Butcher aside and walks up to Lenny grabbing him by the collar* Alright now look here you skinny good for nothing pussyass scared bitch. We ain't got the time for your bitching and moaning,we're here for-

*Annie steps in between the three,separating Soldier Boy from Lenny and Butcher gets in his face*

Annie:Whoa,whoa everyone calm down!

Butcher:Put your fuckin hands on ‘im again and I'll fucking kill ya.

Soldier Boy:*Scoffs* Is that so? I'd love to see you fucking try.

Annie:Both of you stop it! This isn't what we're here for. Calm down before you start something you can't finish. I am not willing to put this whole neighborhood in danger because of you two and your dick measuring contest. There are bigger problems here that we need to solve and you both getting hostile and being at each other's throats won't help us get any closer to where we need to be.

M.M:Annie's right,now's not the time and it sure as hell ain't the damn place. *He moves past them,Soldier Boy and Butcher now taking their glare-off off of the front step,while he speaks with Lenny* Look,I don't know what Butcher did to you in the past to ensure your wrath. I'm sure his dumbass deserves it anyway.

Butcher:Hey!

M.M:But whatever the issue may be between the two of you is,we need your help Lenny.

Lenny:Why should I trust you?

M.M:You probably shouldn't but we have no other choice. Lives are at stake here,and we need all the help we can get. We wouldn't have come here if it wasn't a life or death thing. Thousands if not millions of lives are at risk and we need all the help that we can get. You can help us possibly save the country if you just hear us out,even if it's just a moment. I won't beg,I won't grovel. It's all up to you. If you want us to leave we can,we'll all get back in our cars and we'll head back to New York and you'll never have to see us again. Or you can just give us a few moments of your time to try and help us take down one of the most dangerous superheroes possibly in history.

Lenny:How do I know you'll keep your word?

M.M:You don't but this is all you got.

Lenny:*Sigh* Fine.

M.M:Thank you.

*Lenny steps aside for them to enter the house,watching them file in before shutting the door behind Hughie*

Lenny:I have water if you want something to drink.

Butcher:*Lays a hand on Lenny's shoulder* Thanks Len.

Lenny:Don't get too comfortable Billy. I'm still upset at you. *He brushes Butcher's hand off his shoulder and walks into the kitchen and sits at the table after kindly offering the others water bottles* So why'd you come? What do you want?

Annie:Butcher said something about a s-

Butcher:Where's Skađi?

Lenny:Why?

Butcher:Cause I ain't seen the little tyke since she was a girl.

Lenny:I don't think that's a good idea Billy. Especially how you left things last time.

Hughie:What happened last time?

Butcher:Another story for another time.

Lenny:Didi's not here right now.

Butcher:Where is she?

Lenny:And why is that any of your concern?

M.M:Butcher you're getting off topic here.

Hughie:I thought we were here for this-

Butcher:Do you know where she is?

Lenny:Yes,why? What does she have to do with possibly saving the country or whatever?

M.M:Wait a second. You mentioned something about a “secret weapon” being here Butcher.

Lenny:Secret weapon? What secret weapon?

Soldier Boy:Are you saying we came all this way for nothing?

Butcher:No.

Lenny:*Sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose* Look,I don't know what Billy's been telling you all but there's no secret weapon here. At least none that I know of.

Butcher:Thus my question as to where Skađi is.

Annie:Does this Skadi pe-

Lenny:Skađi,ah sound.

Annie:Sorry. Skadi? Skađi. *Lenny nods* Does she know about it?

Lenny:If she does it's news to me. She still wouldn't like the fact that you're here Billy. You'd be the last bloke she'd ever want to see.

Hughie:Why did something happen?

Lenny:I don't know. *He glares at Butcher and says incredulously* Did something happen William?

Butcher:*Holds his hands up in defense* Alright,alright there's no need for that Len.

M.M:Butcher what the fuck is going on here? Who the hell is Skađi and what's the reason for this whole back and forth thing between you and him?

Butcher:It's funny you mentioned that M.M ca-

*The sound of the front door being unlocked and open catches everyone's attention then the sound of a deepish husky voice (Imma deep voice girly) talking on the phone*

Man,fuck him. Girl if he was willing to cheat on a fine bitch like you then his ass didn't deserve you in the first place. That nigga ain't worth your tears. Trust me,I've been down that road many times. Well the useless crying that is but you get what I mean.

Lenny:*Laughs* Speak of the devil. (Wink wink) *Shouts* Hi Didi.

Hold on. *I pull away from my phone and shout back* Hi dad! *I go back to my conversation* Okay,what were you saying?

*I continue on my way to my room passing by the kitchen*

Annie:Was that her?

Lenny:It was.

Hughie:If she knows where the weapon is then we need her to tell us where it is.

Lenny:Why would she even know where this supposed “secret weapon” is anyway? Putting her in a room with Billy is spellin trouble.

M.M:If it's to help. We'll take what we can.

Lenny:Ehhh~~ I don't think you want that.

Annie:Please Lenny this would mean the world to us if she could help us.

Lenny:*Shrug* Alright don't say I didn't warn ya. Skađi,come here sweetheart.

Just a second!

Lenny:You lot have fun.

*He gets up from his seat and moves to the opposite side of the kitchen*

Soldier Boy:Why the fuck did you move all the way over there?

Lenny:Oh don't mind me.

*Five or so minutes go by and I walk out of my room*

Where ya at my guy?

Lenny:The kitchen.

Guuch. *I make my way into the kitchen* So whatcha ne-

*Upon stepping into the kitchen and making eye contact with Butcher stops me dead in my tracks*

Butcher:Hello love. Look at how you've grown,almost didn't even recognize ya.

*I scoff then start chuckling which turns into loud boisterous cynical laughter*

Hughie:Oh,so she's happy to see you.

Lenny:*Mumbles* I wouldn't say that.

*I place a hand on my chest,standing up straight,and suddenly full back. That obviously makes Annie and M.M jump up to attempt to catch me but a sudden black hole opens up on the floor and I fall into it and that confused the all hell out of them*

M.M:What in the fuck?

Annie:Butcher wh-

*I appear out of nowhere,gun in hand right under Butcher's chin,growling*

Give me one goddamn reason I shouldn't kill you right fucking now?!

*Soldier Boy pulls his gun along with M.M pointing at me and Annie has her hands up with her eyes glowing ready to strike*

Butcher:I know you're angry.

Angry? Oh,I've pushed past the point of anger. Enraged,infuriated,irked,pissed even.

Soldier Boy:You pull that trigger and I blow your brains out dollface. And I'd hate to ruin such a pretty face.

*I raise an eyebrow at him*

Soldier Boy:Your choice.

Sit.

Soldier Boy:*Cocks his gun* The fuck did you say to me?

I said *My voice distorts almost demonically and I look directly at him* Sit.

*Soldier Boy,M.M,and Annie all sit unconsciously against their wills*

Annie:The hell?

(Oof,homegurl almost forgot. You know we out here with the demonic powers as always,I stay the strongest character in mah shit…But anyway there are Bayonetta undertones in here,first time I've ever done that before,excited. Some Dune too cause The Voice,right? And some Jujutsu Kaisen cause why the fuck not. I know it sounds weird but knowin my ass,oh it'll work. I'll stop)

*I look back to Butcher*

I'm still waitin on an answer.

Butcher:Cause we're family.

*Sarcastically* Oh,so we're family now. That's rich.

Hughie:Wait Butcher,who is this girl?

Butcher:Skađi here is my niece.

M.M:She's your what?!

Soldier Boy:There's no fucking way she could be your niece.

Adopted but niece nonetheless. But saying that would be insulting and going against my word. Why the fuck are you here William?

Butcher:We need your help.

Not interested. Fuck off.

Butcher:It's for the greater good love. You can't just say no and fuck off.

Watch me bitch. *I cock the gun in my hand* I'll see your bitchass in the afterlife.

Lenny:Now Skađi.

You know he deserves it dad.

Lenny:I get it but let's just hear him out.

Hear him out? For fuckin what?

Lenny:Said something about a secret weapon?

Secret weapon? What secret fu- *I think for a second then cackle* Oh you arrogant pharisaic son of a bitch! You think you can just come back into our lives after what you've done? *Growl* I will not be used as a weapon!

M.M:She's the secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:Yeah,more or less.

Lenny:You were going to use your own niece as a weapon to kill Homelander?! What the hell is wrong with you Billy!

Annie:Wait,you're a Supe?

In the flesh.

Butcher:In my defense

Fuck your defense. That's not a fucking excuse to use someone you called family William. But knowing you I wouldn't put it beneath you.

Butcher:In my defense it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why cause you're desperate and fucked?

Butcher:That's just putting it lightly.

God,if dad wasn't here I'd shoot you then I'd revive you just to have Avavago eat you alive!

Hughie:Avawhat?

My demonic pet dragon. Avavago.

M.M:I ain't never heard of a Supe with demonic powers before.

Well there's a first for everything. *I put the safety on the gun and pull back from Butcher* You should be grateful you're still alive. Next time you won't be so lucky. I'm going back to my room. Looking at you makes my skin crawl.

Butcher:At least hear me out Di.

No,fuck you and ya life existence.

Butcher:If you don't help us Homelander may kill us all.

Why the fuck should I care?

Butcher:Because you have a heart.

That may be true but that doesn't mean I'd extend my kindness to you after what you did to me. I will never forgive you for what you've done.

M.M:I'm not one to poke in family affairs outside my own but you've got us curious. Just what has Butcher done that makes you hate him so much?

Lenny and I:Why don't you tell them William.

Butcher:Way to gang up on me you two.

Annie:Butcher.

Butcher:Piss off. It ain't none of your business.

Hughie:We have a right to know.

Butcher:And what makes you think I'd tell you cunts about our little family issue,huh?

Annie:Because you were going to use your own niece as a weapon. You owe us that much Butcher.

Butcher:A thing happened at work a few years back.

Oh Jesus,don't sugarcoat it. Tell them the truth or I will. And if I do,they sure as hell ain't gonna like it.

Soldier Boy:Quit being a bitch about it. So he hurt your feelings,you're so goddamn emotional. All women are but this is a whole new fucking level. Christ on a cross,get over it.

“Get over it” he says. *I pull down the neck of my shirt showing off three wounds near my heart* You remember these?

Butcher:*His eyebrows furrow as he sighs heavily* Skađi.

So you do remember. Consider me shocked. I would've thought you repressed that memory into the back of your mind *Venomously* Billy.

Hughie:You shot her?

Annie:But those should've healed,you're a Supe.

I didn't have a grasp on my powers yet so I didn't heal properly. I don't enjoy the memory but I'd rather save my breath. *I fix my shirt then pull out a chair plopping myself in it* Why don't we show them instead,hm? *I,purposely,smack Butcher in the side of the head,grab at what seems to be his temple then pull back bringing a strip of film,revealing a string of memories* Let's go back eleven years.

Hughie:What in the fuck?! How are you doing that?

It's a part of my powers. (It's a One Piece thing. Forgot about that undertone,but it's just this one thing that Pudding is able to do with her Memo Memo devilfruit) *I do the same thing to myself,without the aggressive slapping and handling,and scroll back an entire decade to one specific memory*

Butcher:(The names and memories will be italicized in apostrophes,I prefer it over quotes in things like this don't know why just do. Back to the story) ‘Alright ya little tyke. You stay here and you work on your school work,I got a meeting that'll probably be the death of me.’

*Giggle* ‘I'm sure it won't be that bad Uncle Billy.’

Butcher:‘You keep tellin yourself that love. Just wait until you're old enough to have to deal with these cunts and I bet you won't be saying that.’

‘Dad said you're not allowed to say that around me.’

Butcher:‘Your dad's not here now is he? Keep it a secret and I'll buy you whatever you want.’

‘Whatever I want?’

Butcher:‘Oh yeah. I'll buy you a whole candy store if you want.’

‘Buy me a PS2 and those two nerf guns I want and you've got a deal. Oh! Games included.’

Butcher:*Pinches my cheek* ‘Cheeky little blighter. You be a good girl for me.’

*Bright smile* ‘Okay.’

Butcher:*Chuckles*

Soldier Boy:Looks like some sappy bullshit to me.

Shut up and watch.

*He immediately stops talking and pays attention to the memories. Ten or so minutes pass by,while in Butcher's memory he's still in the meeting,and in mine two large men enter the room making me look up from my work and pause my music*

‘Oh,uh hello.’

Agent:‘Wow,you're prettier than I thought.’

*A bit awkward* ‘Thanks,I guess.’

Agent 2:‘How old are you sweetie?’

*Guarded* ‘Why?’

Agent:‘Just curious. You look maybe 17,18.’

‘No.’

Agent 2:‘You're younger. Who would've thought a sixteen year old would look as beautiful as you. You surely don't look your age sweetheart,certainly not with a body like that you don't.’

*I shift uncomfortably* ‘I think I'm going to…um see Miss Angelica.’ *I start packing my things* ‘Excuse me.’

*As I step from my place and walk towards the door one agent stops me*

Agent:‘Where are you going? We just want to talk.’

*I brush him off of me* ‘Please don't touch me. I need to leave.’

Agent 2:*He harshly grabs my arm* ‘Why rush? The fun's just getting started.’

‘I said get off of me!’

*I tear my arm from his grasp then kick him in the groin then sock him in the face then making a break for the door only for the other agent to grab me by my hair to yank me back*

Agent:‘You little bitch!’

*Scream* ‘Let me go! Uncle Billy!’

Agent 2:*Gets up* ‘Ugh,you little shit. You'll pay for that you fucking whore.’

Agent:*Pulls my head back by my hair and kisses my neck* ‘You taste so good.’

*Begging* ‘Let me go! Please!’

Agent:‘Nuh-uh.’ *Starts groping at me and chuckles evilly* ‘So soft.’

‘Stop it! Get off of me! Somebody he-’

Agent 2:*Grabs me by my face to silence me* ‘Not today sweetheart.’ *Tears my shirt off and licks his lips* ‘We're going to have fun with you.’

*I bite his hand and claw at the other agent's eyes that's holding me and try to make a run for the door. When I open the door and attempt to scream,my head gets hit against the wall to disorient me and I get dragged back and the door gets slammed*

Agent:‘You're a feisty one aren't ya?’ *He takes off his belt and wraps it around my wrists then he takes off his tie to gag me with* ‘We'll definitely have fun with you.’

*I protest against them as they touch and prod at me,putting their filthy hands in places they shouldn't. I try my best to resist but nothing really works,as the tears roll down my cheeks I scream against the makeshift gag in hopes that someone would hear me. This goes on for several moments,moments that feel like an eternity to me,until it didn't. The second agent pulls me down to the edge of the table by my leg and tries to do the unthinkable*

Agent 2:*Groans* ‘All this foreplay has made me hard. I'm betting you can fix that sweetheart.’ *He unfastens his pants and pulls out his cock stroking the hard pulsing flesh moaning at the sensation* ‘I'm going to ruin you for any other man in your life. You'll be begging me to make you cum then just when you've had enough I'll just keep on going until you forget your own fucking name.’

*I fight furiously against the one holding me down but he proves to be too strong. The man standing before me easily tears the fabric of my leggings off followed by my underwear*

Agent 2:‘God you're such a filthy little whore. Sweet little virgins like you,feisty ones especially,deserve punishment. By the time we're done with you,you'll be our perfect little cumslut. All battered,bruised and fucking obedient.’

*Once he gets close enough to attempt to shove his dick inside of me,something in my mind shatters suddenly causing a mysterious,yet gigantic silky black scaled claw to emerge from the floor grabbing the man and pulling him into the abyss*

Agent:*Draws his gun* ‘What in the fuck!’

*He starts firing at the claw but it does nothing. The sound of loud gunfire obviously draws the attention of others,Butcher being a part of them thankfully,or so I thought,bursting into the room just to see the poor man get dragged down into darkness and the claw vanishing as if it never even existed. From seeing my obvious disheveled look both Angelica,the kind lady who often gives me treats when I come in,and another agent who I found out was named Susan rush over to me to untie me and frantically check me of any other injuries I may have obtained*

Angelica:*Holding my face as she turns it in every which direction to check for other injuries* ‘Oh my God. Sweetheart,are you alright?!’

*An endless stream of tears just flow down my cheeks as I sob,speaking brokenly as hiccups and gasps rack my body*

Th-They t-t-tried to-to…r-rape m-m-me. I-I-I-I w-was d-doi-doing…h-h-home…homework wh-when they

Susan:Sh,sh,sh. You're alright now. You're safe. Let's get you something to put on,hm?

*I nod as she takes off her suit jacket to put around my shoulders soothingly rubbing my back to try and calm me from that traumatic event. Butcher,standing there in pure shock at what he just witnessed. He wasn't even sure if he was seeing things or not but his mind was on autopilot when he drew his gun and pulled the trigger,shooting me three times in the heart. Angelica and Susan scream as I hit the floor now bleeding*

Susan:‘Billy what the fuck! What's wrong with you?’

Angelica:‘Who in the fuck shoots their own niece!’

Susan:‘Call an ambulance Angelica,I'll try and stop the bleeding.’

*Angelica nods and gets up to try and run out of the room but Butcher stops her*

Butcher:‘Fuckin leave her.’

Angelica:*She's shocked at first but then her shock turns to anger* ‘You can't be fucking serious! She's dying because you shot her!’

Butcher:‘She's a fucking supe. You saw what she done to that poor cunt.’

Susan:‘Why does that matter Butcher? You saw the state she was in,you fucking heard her they tried to rape her,if anything he and whoever else fucking deserved it!’

Butcher:‘Bullocks! The bastards deserved to have thier asses fired and prosecuted for trying to take advantage of her,right enough,but they didn't deserve whatever the fuck that was.’

Angelica:‘That doesn't fucking matter!’ *She shoves him out of the way* ‘That's not a fucking excuse to shoot her in the fucking heart Billy!’

*She runs out of the room to get paramedics on the phone to take me to the hospital to try and save me. The memories abruptly stop and the film stripes return back to their rightful places. The others are completely left in shock,even Soldier Boy was shocked,and shocking a man like him with his attitude is quite the feat to achieve*

That's when I first discovered my powers. Avavago saved my life.

Annie:That's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I've had to relive that nightmare for years before I finally went to therapy and healed. But all of a sudden you *I point to Butcher* show up after all these years to try and fucking use me as some trump card to take down that psychotic fuck you call Homelander.

Butcher:Well what else would you have me do Skađi?

*My already ruby red eyes turn a dark shade of crimson as I bare my fangs at him hissing*

I was fucking thirteen! I'd expect you have some fucking decency to see if I was alright! Not shoot me in the fucking chest! Two grown ass men sexually harassed and assaulted me then tried to rape me all because I was a fuckin early bloomer. The fuck kind of sense does that make Butcher! (I was actually a semi-late bloomer and it was actually my half brother who did that to me. The attempted rape part didn't happen but everything else did,not in the way I described it,but it did really happen when I was thirteen…in my grandparents basement) I cried and begged for help. For you to come and save me,yet instead of feeling safe with the presence of you,Angelica and Susan after that disgusting fuck pulled out his gun and fired at Avavago you fucking shot me! The one man whom I thought was family turned his back on me and wanted me dead.

Butcher:You turned into a Supe. You think I-

Lenny:That didn't give you the right to shoot her Billy.

Butcher:Oh come off it. You're the wanker that gave ‘er Compound V. If there's anyone here to blame it's you Lenny for adopting a baby Supe.

Would you rather I have died?

Butcher:I would have preferred Lenny to not adopt a fucking supe. Like are you kidding me?

I was never injected with Compound V as a baby.

Hughie:You were never injected as a baby with Compound V?

Butcher:What a load of shit.

Lenny:She wasn't.

Butcher:*Taken aback but skeptical* There's no fucking way. No cunt that's a Supe would get injected as a teenager. It's never been tested.

Annie:Butcher is right. Injecting a teen with Compound V is unheard of.

I was eight when they did it.

M.M:But why?

I was born with a heart defect. Atrial Septal Defect or ASD for short. (Which is true) I was diagnosed with it at seven months old.

Hughie:What's that? The ASD,I mean.

It's a defect of when the hole in your heart doesn't close over time. When you're born you actually have a small hole in your heart that will close over time as you get older,mine didn't. I was in and out of the hospital a lot for this condition to try and figure out what to do. I was in foster care during the whole thing,sure my mother was still involved at the time when it was all going down but that doesn't matter. (I am not adopted,although I wish I were cause my mother fucking hated me,still does to this day she just never told me then that she did until I was nineteen when she told me she never wanted me in the first place but she chose to keep me anyway. I'll fucking stop cause this is no time to get fucking emotional. -July 31st,2024 3:11am My ass needs to be asleep) I went to the doctors for years trying to figure this out,dad was in the process of adopting me in that time. The solution was to get surgery done to try and fix the issue and that's when the idea of Compound V came into play.

Hughie:Did it work? Was your ASD fixed?

Lenny:No. She still had to go to Detroit in order to get the surgery done. As you saw the V didn't kick in until she was thirteen.

Annie:Wait,do you still have the ASD?

Not technically,no.

Soldier Boy:The fuck is that supposed to mean? How the fuck would that even be possible for you to not technically still have whatever the fuck that is?

Atrial Septal Defect. It's been corrected,I have a small piece of metal where the hole is in my heart. (Which is also very much true) So in a sense I do still have it,it's just been corrected.

Annie:And you're saying you could've died if it wasn't corrected?

Yes. (That's not entirely true,it is a possibility but without it being corrected the person with it can and will live a bit of a harder life because with ASD it causes your heart to skip beats,which is fucking painful by the way especially paired with SVT…another story for another time but back to what I was saying,yes it can be hard living an adult life with an uncorrected ASD but yes you can ultimately die from an untreated hole in the heart in the end)

Annie:That's awful.

I'm alive and that's all that matters.

Butcher:Look,I'm sorry for what I did to you back then okay? But we need your help more than ever.

You're sorry? You're fucking sorry! After you fucking shot me,you never came back! It took you eleven years to come back after that to finally say you're sorry after you shot me and practically left me for dead and disowned me then dad for making a life saving decision. Why the fuck should I forgive you when I have every fucking right to hate you until the day you fucking die?

Butcher:Cause it's the right thing to do.

Oh that's rich coming from yo stankass. Miss me with that bullshit. You're only here cause you want to use me as a weapon. If I didn't have V running in my veins you wouldn't be here right now Butcher.

Butcher:Just help us out on this,yeah,then you and Len don't got to see me no more.

You don't deserve my help. Fuck you. I'm going back to my room.

*I leave the kitchen to walk back to my room*

Butcher:Lenny.

Lenny:She's made her mind. You've outstayed your welcome Billy. You and your friends need to leave.

Annie:There has to be a way to convince you to get her to help us. Please,we need her help.

Lenny:You'll have to convince her. She's the one with the powers.

M.M:How do we get out of the chairs if she practically forced us to sit in them? We're stuck.

Lenny:She did force you true enough but that's not how her powers work exactly.

Hughie:How do you figure?

Lenny:If Di told him *He points to Soldier Boy* to shut up and watch and yet he's able to talk right now. How do you think it works?

M.M:So it's only temporary?

Lenny:*Shrug* I don't know how it works exactly but you're free to move as you please now.

*As if on cue,surprisingly,Soldier Boy gets up to chase after me. Without knowing the layout of the house he easily gets lost,I roll my eyes at the slamming of different doors*

Oh sweet Jesus. *I get up from my bed and open my door,leaning against the door frame* If you're going to look for me the least you could do is at least call out to me instead of slamming every door in the house. It's annoying to hear doors halfway across the house slamming with a mighty boom,shut.

Soldier Boy:*Chuckles* You are much prettier up close and personal. It's hard not to try and control myself in the presence of such a gorgeous woman even as a black woman.

Wow,as if that wasn't the slightest bit microaggressive. What do you want Soldier Boy?

Soldier Boy:You know me?

I've heard of you. Dad spoke of you a few times and I've seen a picture.

Soldier Boy:I ain't gonna sugarcoat it for you sweetheart.

Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Whatever. What happened to you was downright awful. No woman should ever have to go through with that,those pussies were nothing but little boys. A real man would treat his woman with respect even if she was a little girl. A girl's place-

Okay lemme stop you right there. Are you actually going somewhere with this lecture of what,gender role,somewhat potential misogynistic spiel of yours or are you gonna cut to the chase my guy?

Soldier Boy:Well don't you got a smart mouth.

Apologies,afraid that's genetics. Can't help it not that I personally would in this current situation but do continue.

Soldier Boy:I'm surprised no one has smacked that mouth of yours let alone your ass.

And I'm surprised they let a man like you walk the earth with your close minded ideologies. Shouldn't you be in a nursing home,old man?

Soldier Boy:Look ya little piece of shit. We need your help,put your bullshit aside and think about the shit that could happen if that fucker roams free.

Why should I help you? I don't know you like that.

Soldier Boy:If you fucking think for a goddamn second then you'd be putting people in unnecessary danger. Think of that awkward pussy in the kitchen. I don't know how someone like him could adopt someone like you.

First of all that's rude and a tad bit underlyingly racist,second that's my dad and his name is Leonard. Skip to the point gramps.

Soldier Boy:*Groans in slight irritation* Think of it this way dollface-

Again my name is Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Think of it this way. If your…dad,was in danger would you not do something to save him?

Of course I would.

Soldier Boy:Now think about it when you put Homelander in the picture. He'd be putting him in immense danger and that's clearly the last thing you want right?

Yes.

Soldier Boy:Then you can help us with this one thing then you can go the fuck about your life when it's done,alright?

What makes you think I'll accept?

Soldier Boy:You will or you won't,doesn't matter to me but you know good and damn well you wouldn't let anything happen to that Lenny guy and if something did you probably wouldn't be able to live it down. Make the choice sweetie cause we don't have all day.

A/N:Holy fuck that was a shitton of copying and pasting😮‍💨 but that's the end of the first part. Yay! I know you saw a specific word in the story,like I said in the little preview of the story I cuss a lot myself and that word,don't try and argue with me 'bout it cause you'll just get proved wrong,is literally something I say cause it's just so natural to me and I just grew up around people who said it. And cussing can be genetic so there's that. But leave a comment and a like...please🥺 if you want to read more. Share with your friends if you wanna.

@tarjapearce

[madraleen]

The Promised Neverland - Season 2 The “...Why Though?” commentary of a manga reader (*manga spoilers)

tldr: me, starting s2: this isn't as bad as i've heard! me, finishing s2: *screams in rage* *kicks a wall* *wails in the darkness*

-i know s2 has a really bad rep, so i'm here to be amused, not angry. we'll see how that goes

-mujika <3 sonju <3

-i hope that third empty spot with emma and ray in the op gets filled with norman when we find out he's alive

-i'm on ep two. it feels like we're on a speedrun, but nothing ~bad so far

-why are the cookies moldy...? did they leave out yugo...? i don't like that. i don't like that at all. yugo raised them and they raised him for so long. 

-my god this place feels so empty without yugo. but for an anime-only, i guess it's fine

-excuse me, what about the seven walls? :)

-why did you not let them have the shelter's clothes...? what about their individuality?

-i'm sorry, you had time for an entire new sequence of slimees, but not other important things...?

-excuse me, why are we not going to goldy pond? :)

-wow, the raid holds so little weight, both struggle-wise and emotionally

-THIS RAID DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! they found this place but didn't scout it?! they didn't know about the extra exit?! KIDS BEAT THEM WITH A MUG AND A PUSH?!

-excuse me why is this demon promising isabella freedom, where is peter ratri? :)

-the goldy pond people disrespect

-i'm on ep 5 and so far i don't think the anime is bad anime-wise. rushed yes, not looking at things too closely yes, but bad? no. adaptation-wise it's terrible, but if you haven't read the manga, will you think "wtf?" i don't think so. it's just that anime-onlys are truly, truly missing out

-a demon went near them in the temple and they didn't flee? AND THEY DIDN'T FLEE?! on what, good faith?!

-all of the children being near/in demon town is fundamentally the opposite of the manga logic

-lol the exposition via prayer. okay.

-NORMAN'S PLACE IN THE OP, I CALLED IT!

-the emma-norman-ray reunion doesn't pack the punch that it does in the manga. emma and ray and us haven't gone through all of those things that led them to norman, that made you feel the time passing and the struggle and norman's absence.

-it's an understated reunion isn't it

-i see the lambda group escaped the erasure rampage

-i never thought i'd say this, but damn i miss minerva!norman. the sus. the uncertainty. the coldness. the facade. the "what now." the vibe that made him distinctly separate from ray and emma.

-low-key hate the "now that norman is here, we can move forward again" vibe. norman made the escape plan; then things moved to a standstill; now he's back and things can happen again. as though the others are just going through the motions.

-there's no emotional weight, they just say their lines and we move on, no time to breathe, no nothing

-here's the thing. having placed the kids in this situation, you're truly honestly saying that THE FOUR OLDEST KIDS are gonna just leave their young siblings alone near demon town to look for mujika? seriously? are you sure

-there's no pacing, and because there's no pacing there's no personalities, everyone just says what they have to say, one thing after the other, and there's no time for them to transition smoothly from one emotion to another

-at least they kept the essence of norman's arc...? but the norman-less arcs weren't fillers, they had a point!

-i am so sad, the lambda facility part is so good, why did they mess up so much with the rest

-far be it from me to comment on the VAs, buuut... norman's VA kinda stands out, ngl. she shines, even in this awkwardly paced dialogue

-HOLD YOUR HORSES, NORMAN'S VA IS FISCHL'S VA?!?! HOW?!?! H O W?!?!

-norman's "i'll gladly become a god or a devil" IS SO BRUSHED OFF, oh my god, this should be A Moment!

-the wild demon looks bad, but who cares

-JESUS, THERE'S NO TIME GIVEN TO THE CHARACTERS TO PROCESS INFORMATION AND EMOTIONS! THE SPEED WITH WHICH EMMA GOES FROM NEUTRAL TO WEEPY TO HAPPY WHEN SHE SEES MUJIKA, ARGH!

-emma coming in with the telepathy, immediately knowing that the sound is the bang of norman's lies...

-THESE ARE THE GRACE FIELD KIDS, OF COURSE THE THOUGHT OF NORMAN HAVING LIED WOULD HAVE CROSSED THEIR MINDS! IT’S NORMAN! THERE'S PRECEDENT!

-but norman's plan and character in the manga had SO MUCH MORE DEPTH OH MY GOD! HE HAD HUMAN BLOOD ON HIS HANDS! HIS PLAN WAS MORE REFINED! and yes, i know "farms were attacked" here too, but the fact that norman actually had to make the choice to let humans die is not addressed or even hinted at

-there's really no time to breathe. one minute norman declares annihilation, and the next he's like, "no never mind :'(". the VA is the only anchor keeping him grounded

-these are the enhanced lambda group... which doesn't matter because they don't actually do much...

-the op song is nice tho

-OH SHUT UP NORMAN CAN'T AIM

-no, vincent, the real peter ratri wouldn't have believed you so blindly, but. we make do what we can here in anime land

-it's a shame that peter hasn't really had a Presence as the Enemy

-but why do all the kids who know nothing randomly agree to play tag on shipment day?

-so uh. why is sonju fighting with the kids on the farm in this scenario? bc last time he said he wanted to eat humans... and now he's here...? because we're... friends? that's it?

-lmao the queen and the nobles make an appearance in the last ep. sure okay

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU'RE GONNA SUM UP THE EXISTENCE OF *** AND THE PROMISE WITH EMMA WITH A STILL?!?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE IT OUT ALTOGETHER?! FFS!!!

-YEAH AND MUJIKA IS CROWNED QUEEN IN A STILL, WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHY OR HOW!

-lmfao, most underwhelming return ever??? of emma and co in the human world???

-goldy pond and norman’s kids gave up their existence so that emma could keep her memories, isabella could keep her life and cislo could keep his leg. sacrifices were made. i'm not mad, why would you even-

-okay okay okay. as an adaptation, it sucks. had i not read the manga, would i still consider it a bad season 2? well... i would consider it a downgrade. i wouldn't sweat the basic premise, but the execution would probably disappoint me. the dialogue is perfunctory. they say their bit, change emotions and thoughts in an instant, there's no weight, depth or consideration. things get resolved almost as soon as they're touched upon. i would have no idea who most of the new characters were as people, and i would have learned very little about the ones we already knew. everything is incredibly rushed, and whereas s1 was full of tension and obstacles, s2 was handing the kids everything on a platter, including hot air balloons, mujika randomly spotting emma's necklace, the old demon randomly having that one part of the pen etc (i usually don't mind random coincidences for the sake of storytelling, but this a "compilation of too many issues" situation). the powerpoint presentation in the end would have left me confused and underwhelmed, and the emma-tachi return is incredibly lackluster for a closing scene. i don't think i'd consider it a disaster, but definitely disappointing.

but it is an adaptation and i have read the manga and it's all very sadge.

[babyboiboyega]

a new oneshot?? 👀 does that mean new....next to me chapter?

maam please, were dying

........So! About that! I might as well post the original update to this ask lmao

Next To Me Update

* this entire post is me just typing out whatever comes to mind when it comes to Next To Me, and I'd really appreciate it if you read it because it has to do with the future of NTM <3 *

If you've kept up with Next To Me (NTM), you'll know that there are 15 parts currently out with my original plan being a total of (around) 20 parts in total. I've found that I'm at a standstill when it comes to NTM as of right now. I planned out the entire plot y'all, complete with ideas of what would happen in each part until the end, but planning it was the (slightly) easy part; its when I tried to write them out that it became difficult.

To be quite honest, the last few chapters of NTM were a little difficult to write because I couldn't find that same motivation and inspiration, and every draft I wrote was personally underwhelming, and I sure as hell wasn't posting some mess for y'all.

Another very small reason was that the interactions started gradually becoming less and less, and a lot of it is on me because I don't really interact with others on here (despite how much I really want to). Now when I just stopped posting, it wasn't surprising when the interactions decreased; it made sense, it was understandable.

Another part that is my fault is I started viewing my own skill set and success off of those interactions. I initially posted those parts because I loved the story I came up with, the characters, the fandom, and the writing in and of itself. But it got to a point where I was allowing the number of notes each part received to dictate the motivation I felt to write the next part, and personally, I don't think it should be that way. At least not for me! Can't speak for everyone else lmao

And in doing so, in letting the number of notes essentially motivate me, I kinda lost sight of why I was writing NTM. I appreciate every comment and reblog and like...but I don't necessarily want that to be the main driving factor for why I post. I want to write/post because I love to do it, and then I'd like for the interactions to be the cherry on top yknow

BUT with that being said, there are some decisions I need to make regarding Next To Me, namely if I'm going to continue it, or if I'm going to put it on indefinite hiatus. If I do stop it, I have already started planning a sort of revamp for NTM with a better plot, new characters, better backstories, etc.

But on the other hand, if I keep writing it, it's going to be rather difficult to do so with the risk of plot holes and less-than-stellar writing. But all I can tell you now is as soon as I figure out what I'm doing, y'all will too lmao

Bless you and thank you so much if you read all of that. I've been feeling like this for a while and I was admittedly pretty nervous to bring it to tumblr, but eventually worked up the nerve to do so, especially because I wanted to give y'all some sort of update after a while of not posting anything.

For the TL;DR people: might stop NTM, might not. If I do, its because I have plans for a revamp; if I don't, be prepared for horrible writing that's a result of me just wanting to get it done lmao

But thanks for coming to my TED talk, and I'll see yall at the next project (whatever that may be) <3

Stay safe, y'all

[a-driftamongopenstars]

I’ve been really sick lately, how about an solar hunter exo who is suffering with a virus (maybe overheating or glitching) trying to play it off with shaxx and crow?

hey anon :) apologies for a late prompt fill, I hope that you are feeling better ❤ and I hope this ficlet makes you smile, it took a somewhat silly direction :D

For a few days now it has truly been a struggle to keep an eye out on the Guardian. Crow is not sure what happened to them, but if they are not well, they are trying their best to hide it - and failing terribly. Strange glitches in their movements, their voice, their behaviour. If Crow knew any better, he would say they caught a virus.

Well, maybe he does know better.

It all comes to a standstill when the Guardian insists on joining an upcoming match in the Crucible arena.

"Lord Shaxx!" Crow says with exasparation, holding the Guardian by the arm. They flinch and twitch even as he holds onto them, which only works in favour of Crow's plea.

"What is it, Hunters?" Shaxx replies, turning to face the pair away from a wall of screens that showcase different Crucible locations and timetables.

"Would you tell my friend here that they are in no state to play the Crucible?"

Lord Shaxx considers the Guardian for a moment. His face is unreadable under the helmet, but Crow imagines in his mind that his eyes narrow and his mouth is narrow thin as he studies the Exo.

"What happened to them?"

"I can hear you, you know," the Guardian replies, their voice not quite their own. Hoarse and strange, it sounds nothing like Crow is used to. "And I'm perfectly capable of playing the Crucible. Right away!"

They do a finger guns gesture, to which Crow emits another desperate sigh.

"No, you are really not. Half an hour ago you were changing all your LED-colours. Two hours ago you had sparkles flying from your ear."

"Party mood?"

Crow's gaze is daggers.

Shaxx' heavy hand suddenly presses against the Exo's forehead. If the situation weren't so odd and frightening, Crow would have laughed.

"No Crucible for you, Hunter. You have a fever!"

His voice booms through the room like a final judgement, and Crow feels a sense of relief wash over him. It wasn't in his head after all nor was it in his imagination that the Guardian was not quite themselves. And with some knowledge in hand, they could at least find a way to treat the illness.

"Not a fever!" the Guardian shakes their head, which proceeds to twitch slightly to the right. "My Solar abilities! Here!"

Before Crow can say anything, before Shaxx has a moment to react, the Guardian's arm stretches outwards and a fan of burning knives flies from between their fingers into the nearby wall, taking one of the screens out of commission.

A pause lingers between the three before Shaxx's booming voice breaks it.

"It seems that no Crucible will be played at Bannerfall today. Take him to bed, Hunter, and make sure to get someone to check on his workings before the Guardian overheats entirely."

Crow smiles a little and nods. His arm slides around the Guardian's again, pulling him out of the room and away from the arena. As they leave the premises, the Guardian leans to whisper to Crow.

"Is Lord Shaxx saying I'm hot?"

Crow is lost for words.

[heretherebedork]

The writing is really smart for BMF. One of my complaints was always that Kawi changed too much in the future, but in this episode we saw how easy everything could go wrong, how he decided to play with the band instead of being with Pisaeng, how alcohol was offered to him etc. So his strange extroverted alcoholic self that we saw in the future is finally making sense. He also became more mature, and I felt for him, when he was so stressed out because of Pear. He was with her for years, and he obviously loves her. Not like as with Pisaeng, but I believe he cares for her dearly.

Playing that character is really a challenge. It feels like Krist has to play 3 characters at the same time: We have the childish Kawi who lives in his shell and blames everyone else for his misery, we have the extroverted superstar Kawi who can't fix his problems, and we have the Kawi in the middle, who is finally doing the right thing, while still being awkward, but also more open and confident. But strangely enough it feels like watching the same character, even when you think about it, they are very different.

Also, this drama does justice to ALL its characters not just Kawi and Pisaeng. And just Character Development is so good to see!!!

I never had an issue with the future changes. If anything, the future always felt like a standstill from where we were in the past. They were always facing the exact same crisis and issue in the future without ever having changed their stance of anything. Kawi started drinking and playing a bad? Famous drunk superstar! Piseang finally confessed and said he would wait? Waited year after year with no change and celebrating the day he confessed to Kawi as their special day. Pear knows Piseang doesn't like her and Kawi does? Was dating Kawi only to move onto the next most assholish character.

So, that was never my issue. My issue has been that when Kawi comes back to the past his change always feels sudden and surface. This episode was better because it did show more of the smaller changes and the reasons and the awkward moments and the struggle of trying to do such huge and sudden changes while still also just... being a person. It was good to see in a way that made sense to me.

The show is doing a good job. Well, mostly. Kwan and Not absolutely frustrate me on so many levels it's hard to articulate because the show has given us nothing (not that I want a lot, honestly) but is now giving us these scenes that make me feel like I'm supposed to understand Not but mostly just find him gross? And I can't figure out what Kwan sees in him that makes her so desperate to keep him that she stays as a loveless side piece for eight years in the future-verse we last saw because... what? He's a jerk without an ounce of kindness in him.

That's what I meant by the future never changing, by the way. Like... eight years is a huge time span to cover without anyone changing anyone they love or care about except Pear dropping Kawi so we didn't get to see any of their relationship.

[fragileizywriting]

"Oh, you're a straight dumbass," she cackles, holding her sides, squeezing so she doesn't laugh any harder. "Hold on, hold— hold on, I've got to get a picture."

"Fuck off," he moans.

"And miss out on sending something to Anarka? No way."

"Don't send this to my mom."

"She'll make it into this year's Christmas postcard," she muses. "Hold still for me?"

The flash is on, because Marinette has no sense of subtlety, snapping away what feels like quite literally a dozen or so photos of him wearing the neck brace. He doesn't bother stopping her as she flits around the little waiting room like a moth, taking videos, taking photos, putting AR filters on him to make it look like he has little bunny ears. Blearly, he makes the thought that Alix will get a kick out of that one, but any thought that follows it too hard for his already stuffy, cotton brain to think past. Not only has he hurt his neck, but his pride and ego ("What ego?" he can hear Marinette say as she cackles harder). This isn't worth picking a fight with.

"Kitty, you're giving me vertigo with how fast you're moving," he mumbles.

"Fine, I'll sit down. I've had my fun," she says, crossing her legs at her chair with a bright laugh. She's typing faster than anything he's ever seen, no doubt sending all of these photos to as many people as possible. How she has reception, he has no idea, but he'll just live with it for now. "I can't believe you fell for it."

It seemed "reachable" in theory. First mistake is trusting anything she says, though.

Marinette, with the powers of the cat Miraculous, has a few upsides: she's flexible, practically a contortionist, folding herself into the weirdest most uncomfortable pretzels he's ever seen. With the snake Miraculous, he's just as flexible, though he hadn't tested the limits of how far his pretzelness went until today.

Because of Marinette.

Marinette: did you know that at this point you could probably suck your own dick? Luka: What? Marinette: yeah. i mean, we're flexible enough. i can lick my own thigh. i think your dick would be easier to reach than your own thigh, though. Luka: Kitty, it's too early for this. Marinette: don't lie to me, i know you're stripping right now and you're going to try it Luka: Go away. I'll tell you how it goes, I guess?

Like an idiot, he'd tried.

Failed.

Oh, how he failed.

Marinette had come with him to the doctor's, slapping an untruthful yet very convincing "I'm his girlfriend!" when the nurse had mentioned that friends weren't allowed in; he'd grimaced, more of the pain in his neck that flared with every movement he made below the shoulders than anything else, but she didn't give up.

"And 'send'," she exclaims to herself, looking him over. "What a sight to behold!"

"You're a sadist."

"Sure am, Vai. This is just precious."

"You're the worst."

"Nawh. Well, yeah. Maybe."

"You owe me."

She barely blinks, leaning her chin into her palm she has propped up using the hand rests of the plastic, grey chair. "What's your neck worth to you?"

"A date," he punches out, completely out of thin air. The two of them freeze, unsure if that's what he meant— it's hard, he has a habit of blurting things out, and so does she because of the ADHD, and they're at a standstill.

"Wait," she says, mouth pulled into a weird line.

"You announced to everyone in the reception area that you're my girlfriend, and you know I hate liars."

"W-wait."

"Go on a date with me."

"I—"

"My neck is worth a single date with you."

"But—"

"No take-backs," he starts, but the rest of the sentence fizzles out of him when he sees her face. Heated, practically as red as Mister Bug's suit, her freckles all but disappear. A quiet Marinette is a dangerous one.

"Okay," she wheezes.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," he parrots, doing his best not to nod. "Awesome. Cool. Uh. I didn't actually think you'd say yes, but—"

"I didn't imagine you'd ask me out here."

"Well. Today's just full of surprises," he puts lightly.

[cosmic-d1ce]

okay not to be cringe but here's another song that sorta fits but an actual shocker this one isn't taylor (omg no wayyy :0)

the living tombstone - I can't fix you- and I know the fnaf fan song part isn't appealing BUT HEAR ME OUT ‼️‼️‼️

the lyrics seem almost akin to alternating lyrics switching from forevers pov manipulating phil to phils pov defending himself

"I've been trying for so long

To sing you the right song

To show you something different every day

So you hear what I have to say

Like puzzle pieces

And now we're here at a standstill

I wonder if you feel

The kind of pain that rips your insides out

That's something I know all about

Shocking, ain't it?"

this could be forever trying to 'reach out' to phil in a way, with how everyday he's been visiting trying to get phil to accept his love and 'affection' and how every moment without phil by his side is agonizing to him- causing so much pain. he's tapping into phils sense of guilt for hurting forever by not being with him. he's trying to relate to the pain phil has felt throughout his life by showing how hurt he's being right now and trying to convince phil that he doesn't wanna hurt forever now too does he?

"Is it because I can't be her?

Made your mistakes and make me hurt

I can't fix you"

this part turns to phil talking to forever, instead of her it's him- the friend phil resembles (aaaaa I forgot their NAMEEE) and how phil isn't the missing piece he's looking for, and that forever is making a mistake trying to look for new love in phil and that he can't patch up that hole that was left and won't be able to fix forever and whatevers wrong with him.

"I can feel my heart breaking

Mistakes I've been making

I'm running out of patience to pretend

This isn't how I'll let it end

My feigning fading

You've been mourning your loss here

And that's grinding my gears

How can a human lose their self control

There's nothing left to make you whole

I'm done explaining"

this part turns back to phil slowly breaking, forever is making his way through phils mind and defenses. now phil is starting to feel like he should be the one accepting forevers affection, and that he should stop 'pretending' to hate forever as their connection grows. the 'this isn't how ill let it end' is a quick flash to phil remembering why he's being hurt in the first place and setting himself straight again and the other lines are him reminding himself that forever is not the good guy here, he's back to the offense- at least for a little while.

"We have a lot more in common

Than you would be calm with

It's like we're the same person, me and you

We both don't know we can do"

this could be a last ditch effort from forever to connect with phil, after hes isolated phil from the rest of the smp, he can focus more on being the only constant in phils life. highlighting how similar they are now that they're all alone together in the prison, could be his way of getting through to phil and showing him how it just makes Sense to be with him. trying to tap into his more logical side by laying out all the puzzle pieces but allowing phil to be the one to put them together.

(apologizes for spamming the asks- ill stop if you need (￣▽￣*)ゞ just have many thoughts to share all the time) - 💿

Fnaf fan songs have no right to go this hard??? Like who gave you the right?? also do not stop sending me asks i love it share all of your fml thoughts with me i thrive on it

Anyway yes, absolutely, youre so so so right that i have nothing to add and will instead offer another song : Those Eggs Aren't Dippy

"Dripping eye, dissecting me

Cut my life expectancy

Have me under close inspection"

Phil talking about Forever, how he basically rips him apart and puts him back together, looking at every part of Phil, inside and out. And then he's not only examining every part of Phil as he's taking him apart but also watching him. Every move he makes. He is under very close inspection.

"Let me in your ear

Stop, pout, hear me out no less"

Switching to Forever, asking Phil to just let him in, let him infect his brain, let him change the way he thinks. Hear me out, as he tells Phil how traumatised he is, how hurt he is, how similar they are

And then, "Those eggs aren't dippy and I don't want to die" Can be interpreted as these eggs arent meant to be cracked, dont hurt those kids for the love of god and please, please let me live. But death for the players isnt really a threat, instead "living" here would be getting out. Let him live. Not just survive

Back to Forever with,

"I want a bit of love too

I wanna be close to you"

desperately needing and wanting to be with Phil, he wants his love, he wants to be close to him. He needs it.

"Those eggs aren't dippy and I don't want to die" again.

"You miss a feeling

The smell of the kitchen

See me singing sideways

Hang me from the highway"

Forever again, showing Phil empathy but going on to say "look at all im doing just for you!" in the "see me singing sideways" like bending over backwards. Then, threatening to harm himself again in the next line.

"Out of the dust I play

A break from your desperate cage"

Phil trying everything he can to get out of the prison Forever has made, his "desperate cage"

"A break (Eh, haha)

Going down, breaking, oh (Time to stop)

Nothing"

And then, finally, he breaks. He starts to dissociate, time passes like its "nothing", he's broken and gone and its "time to stop" putting up a fight

Theres more but sjdhsjsbsj long post already just listen to the song<//3

[fzzr]

Onegai☆Teacher More Than Holds Up

Onegai☆Teacher (Please☆Teacher, and from now on I'm not pasting the ☆) is a 2002 anime about a guy who marries an alien. Yes, another one. Also, she's his teacher. A show like that doesn't seem like something with much to hold up, but when I watched it back in the noughts I gave it an 8/10. I re-watched it recently with the intent to correct the record, to deliberately spoil my memory and see it with adult eyes. Bad news: I like it even better now.

You've heard it before. A 15-year-old guy runs into an alien babe and they need to be married now. In this case, the guy is Kei Kusanagi and the alien babe is his teacher and next-door neighbor, Mizuho Kazami. After a teleporter accident leaves them in a compromising situation, some quick thinking leads to them getting married so they don't get fired and expelled. This is made possible because Kei is legally 18 years old, having spent three years in a state of hibernation caused by a medical condition called "standstill". Despite the "of convenience" nature of the marriage, he still gets kicked out to live with her so that his uncle and aunt can have more "quality time" with each other.

Although all the signs point toward this being a teacher play ecchi show, they don't actually play that up as much as you would think. In fact, right when you think the obstacles to lewdness have been cleared away and it's time for a beach episode, surprise! This show has a plot and there's plot happening and it even happens to characters other than the principal protagonists. The core group of students each have their own things going on, and those things mostly get appropriate screentime and tie into the other relationships.

Without going into the details, the majority of the series takes a quite serious look at balancing your own feelings against others when there's simply no way for everyone to get what they want. The number one problem everyone in Onegai Teacher faces is allowing fear of pain - theirs or others - to pin them in place.

There are still some shenanigans. Urusei Yatsura references are made where appropriate. Sometimes things go wrong for no reason. But important things only go wrong for important reasons. Onegai Teacher manages to weave the shenaniganery of a saucy romcom through an emotional story without the two interfering.

OK but the whole "teacher" thing...

Yes, it's a problem if you're not into that. It actually gets more acute toward the end. The biggest strike against this show is in the title. The thing is, I don't care. It doesn't impede the core themes or messages at all. This isn't a show about a dude and his hot teacher-wife. It's about the things that keep people from being with the people they want to be with, both internal and external. It's about not getting trapped in the past or in your own head, and moving forward even when it means facing or doing things that may be painful.

Conclusion

Score: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Onegai☆Teacher is a 9/10. It doesn't make sense to me either, but I can't deny it. It's funny, it's emotional, it has something to say, and it does it all in 12 episodes. The music is good, the characters are solidly realized and layered, and the plot follows all the rules of good writing (if not good taste).

Recommendation: Out of all the shows I have rated 9/10, this is the second hardest to recommend. (Monogatari is the hardest.) If you can get over the hump of the whole teacher thing (or if you're into it) I think this is worth a watch. I must give content advisories against: underage alcohol use and sex under the influence, suicide, and (in case you missed it somehow) age differences outside the xkcd #314 guidelines.

Comparisons

Tonikaku Kawaii is about a guy who marries an alien. Yes, another one. Also, she's Princess Kaguya. Tonikawa is not about the challenges of building a happy relationship, it's about the rewards. If you just turn in your paperwork that cute girl's hand can be all-you-can-hold. There are challenges, of course - both Tonikawa and Onegai Teacher have a possessive little sister character who objects to the marriage for example - but in Tonikawa it's all about building up a life together and learning to love the other person more and more. Onegai Teacher takes a bolder look at the ways things can and do go wrong, and how you can't back down from those challenges.

I also went back to re-watch Onegai☆Twins, another show in the same setting that shares some characters. That one... did not hold up. The biggest offender was the whole "let's make sure he's not gay" episode, but generally it doesn't have as much to say and pulls three too many bad twist fakeouts. It does still have the same willingness to push the line, it just does it in ways that I don't think are justified. It's also less kind to its characters.

Final Thoughts

Since I started this kick of re-watching old shows last year, this was the first time something I expected to go down in score went so significantly up instead. Maybe I should give more things that I suspect won't hold up another chance. Kaminomi, anyone?

[pof203]

A Summoner Birthday

Here's a link to the previous post:

https://pof203.tumblr.com/post/718271444391477248/a-summoner-birthday

Story (Chapter 1 Part 2)

Hello, Summoners! So glad you're here.

Hi, Kurogane.

Kurogane: I was told you were coming. Your other friends are waiting for you in the next room.

Thank you, Kurogane.

We go into the next room. There, Alp, Boogeyman, Itzamna, and Bigfoot were waiting for us.

And here you guys are! Did y'all miss me?

How can I miss you? We're in the same Guild.

It has been a long time, Alp. I am just sorry you have to see me like this.

Alp: No biggie. Underneath it all, you're still that American football guy from Yoyogi Academy. BTW, have you spoken to any of your old schoolmates yet?

Wakan Tanka Infinity: I cannot face them. Not like this.

Once I cast my spell again, you might. I hear some of them are already in the virtual world.

They don't know you're coming yet. We want it to be a surprise.

Then let's get going! I wanna see that world.

Bigfoot: Hold on, I need to explain something. As some of you know, my spell that turns Wakan Tanka back to his form from when he first came to Tokyo for only 24 hours.

What's that got to do with virtual reality?

Boogeyman: Time in the virtual world runs differently as it does in the real one. What is one day out here... is way longer than that in there.

Shiro: That does make sense. In a virtual world, time pretty much comes to a standstill. There it may be one day here in the real world, it will feel like forever in the virtual one.

Kind of like our own personal Neverland where we never grow up. We can stay forever young.

Kurogane: That's the gist of it, yes.

Lupin: So Bigfoot's spell will last forever in there?

Bigfoot: Yes. But we might still have to leave. We can't spend all our time in a dream.

Lupin: (looking a bit down, but understanding) Yeah. Sooner or later, we all have to wake up and face reality.

Wakan Tanka Infinity: (feeling) My Lupin.

But we shouldn't lose heart. Even thought it will in actuality be a short time, we should enjoy it as much as we can.

You said it, Maria. It's good to live in the moment.

Because sometimes, a moment is all we get.

Then let's not waste this moment. I'm ready for anythin'.

Bigfoot: (happy) I'm glad you feet that way.

Well then, without further ado, let us make the trip.

Virtual fairy tale, here we come!

I'm not ready yet. Just give me a moment.

Oz takes a huge swig of liquid from his Sacred Artifact. Right afterwards...

Ha ha! Now let's get this party started! Ha!

Jormungandr: (laughing) Oh, brother, I should have seen this coming.

You all (except for Kurogane) put on some kind of headgear with a visor and seated on some chairs.

Kurogane: If you're all ready.

Lupin: Yes.

Kurogane: Then safe travels. And have a good time. And a happy birthday.

Kurogane pushes a button on the computer.

You feel yourself leaving your body...

The adventure begins.

To be continued...

[carlos-in-glasses]

hiya! i hope you're still down to answering asks about That Line, sorry if you're not, do feel free to delete this too!

i think my initial reaction to that line was like a sucker punch to the gut with the way it was setup, i.e. the framing, him standing next to TK, and TK looking at him after he'd said that line. i was so pissed and i'm still pissed about it now. in no way is that fair to TK for him to have said that, no matter how angry or hurt he is. i'm not saying right/wrong bc it's never as transparent as that, i'm coming from pov of an audience and having witness both sides of the argument. yes, tk crossed a boundary when he visited iris even though both him and carlos had agreed not to, and i understand why carlos would react the way that it did. i hated it, but i don't really wanna get into it now. which brings me to,

i think, or at least i'd hoped that this might be setting up for carlos' character arc where – you'd previously mentioned that 403 is essentially confronting his past before taking that next step into his future with carlos, and i agree! – we'll be able to see carlos realising that he needs to be able to learn how to let go of the unfounded guilt he had towards this whole mess (i.e. marriage, iris getting kidnapped), and iris would swoop in and be like, 'hey, i'm no longer your legal responsibility now, and i am no longer your responsibility, period. i can take care of myself, and i'm sorry for the way things were but we're still best friends and i still love you. you can let go of this now.' something something about him having to confront and address things rather than chalk things up until he absolutely had to confront it, in order to move forward in his life, bc atp its at a standstill. and it's kind of like a full circle moment for him to realise that he didn't need to, and will never need to take on this weight and responsibility all by himself and pushing away the ones he loves in the meantime (i.e. TK 😭😭💗💗💓), when there's someone so willingly to take on this weight with him (back to my boy TK). i know i'm dreaming big but if i had to cope with shitty writing choices from a professional who does this for a living, i can pretty much read between the lines and interpret it however i want to.

which brings us back to That Line, so if the writers are willing to explore that route with carlos, it would make much more sense in relation to him implying that it was the marriage, and TK having been drowning in his own guilt and misery, misunderstood and took that to mean that carlos had meant with him (imagine the angst we would get from this if it was addressed on screen i'll cry).

i know i'm putting myself through the mental gymnastics and i'm pretty sure i'm 100% wrong in this. atp i'm still pissed at everything and especially carlos (i know its warranted but i'm still pissed and that's ok bc i'll get over it), but this is a headcanon i'd like to believe in until we have more context in 404 IF (and that's a big fat if) it ever gets addressed. if its just a result of a poor writing choice, i'm more than willing to pretend it never existed too.

thank u for reading, sorry it's this long!

Hello anon! Very happy to discuss, no worries at all. <3

I think 4x03 was a hard pill to swallow after how easily 4x02 went down. We've never seen Carlos shut out TK like this, even in the ice storm (he was mad but he was there. Although I should note I did not see the ice storm arc play out as it aired, so my experience of it is different to those who did watch at the time), but we've seen him be 4x02 Carlos before. The contrast is extreme after last week's squishiness. It's implied he 'doesn't like TK right now' immediately after being madly in love. It's new for us to get to grips with, how he goes from one to the other so quickly. I share your sucker-punch feeling and I still have it now to an extent – even after having talked myself into thinking Carlos was referring to himself and Iris. I guess I wish I didn’t have to *think* that, and rather I could just know. I’m happy for plenty of things to be left up to my interpretation as a viewer, whatever I’m watching, but a lack of clarity around something like this line doesn’t sit well with me. I have a very nervous disposition!

You’re right, the framing and the whole vibe made it seem like a super passive-aggressive reference to his own relationship, yet as I mentioned it’s total whiplash for the man who’d so recently comforted TK on the couch to say such a thing. If he *was* making a reference to being super displeased with TK to the extent of suddenly finding their relationship bad (just writing this reinforces to me how it makes no sense…) then the punishment does not fit the crime. Especially as Carlos is canon-aware that TK and Iris hugged rather than had a falling out.

Essentially, I share your headcanon and would really like to see them address this comment so we and TK aren’t left in the dark. There are actually so many good things that can come out of this arc, even if the writing itself leaves us with neon question marks blinking over our heads. By trying to ignore his past and leave it behind him, Carlos has inadvertently looped it tightly with his present and now he has to unpick it from this point. That’s fascinating! I want to see it. This is contrasted nicely with TK, I think, who in some ways ‘left the past behind’ when Owen brought him to Austin, but has been doing the hard work to face it and overcome it ever since, by going N.A meetings, taking his sobriety seriously, talking to the crew about it and his relapse, and finding an incredible man who opened up his heart again. Carlos is on a similar journey, in his own way, he just has to stop resisting and pretending and lying. I love Carlos so much – and it’s because I love him that I care. That lad needs to apologise to his fiancé. TK needs to understand that Carlos’ reaction was due to 99 problems and TK was maybe 1-ish (due to a transgression that was actually nbd). And they are going to be okay.