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#so nothing about me has really changed
ziskandra · 2 years
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papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?
twisted palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t people say you'd like but you feel kinda meh about love regardless? (adjusted because most of your favs are fictional villains that Fandom says you shouldn't like)
papyrus: hilariously every song in my spotify on repeat playlist atm is from my meresino playlist. anyway the first that came up when I shuffled was rabbit hole by aviva
i swear I have whole AViVA albums on this playlist oops, listen this flavour of dark pop just works so well for them.
and as for why this song in particular:
I could say I'll take you
I could say I'll make you
But underneath all I plan to do, to do is break you
You could be my breakthrough
Watching demons wait 'til
I leave you, and they can initi-niti-nitiate you
[…]
I will always wait for you
I'll always be waiting
I will always follow you
'Cause you cannot escape me
Need I say more?
twisted palm tree: firstly can I just how much I love how that you had to twist this because loving villains I shouldn’t is basically my entire brand 🥲
It actually took me a while to think of a character that people assume I love that I don’t really have strong feelings about, and in the end the only answer I could come up with is Bellatrix Lestrange from HP (with the caveat that I don’t know how the fandom portrays her bc I don’t seek out content about her).
The reason I usually love villains is that I find them relatable — either because they remind me of the worst parts of myself, or because they remind me of people I’ve encountered irl, and I like deconstructing what makes people capable of such cruelty through the safer space of fiction because it makes me a) less vulnerable to manipulation irl and b) more sympathetic to people who I wouldn’t see eye-to-eye with. I think growing up as a Young Undiagnosed Autistic, I’ve always been mystified by the concept of being cruel on purpose, and I’ve always wanted to understand it more, and the reasons behind it (even if the reason is as simple as ‘maintaining the status quo because the person in power wishes to remain so’)
Anyway, yeah, I don’t find Bellatrix interesting for the same reasons I don’t find Voldemort interesting, but my favourite HP characters nonetheless are pretty revelatory about me: Dolores Umbridge, Rita Skeeter, Petunia Dursley … I am much more interested in analysing the type of cruelty I am more likely to encounter irl!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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gay-jesus-probably · 1 year
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Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.
First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.
And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.
And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.
Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.
Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.
TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.
...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.
There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.
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deoidesign · 1 day
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
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thaliagrayce · 1 year
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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!
How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!
I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.
Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.
#hazel levesque#hoo#mj talks#like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there#the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus#of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo#which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died#even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level#and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real#heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing#she deserves it <3#nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it#and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered#hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches#and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings
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bacchuschucklefuck · 27 days
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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greenerteacups · 3 months
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What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭
So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.
With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.
Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.
But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.
#greenteacup asks#sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa#Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now#because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending#I have a Process#is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are.#I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now#i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life#that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal#and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed#so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed?#none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not?#but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then#I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point#I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene#It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount#because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter!#the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD#you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater.#AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it.#I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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You don't become less trans the more you transition. No matter how long you've been on hormones, no matter if you've gotten every surgery you want, no matter if you appear to be cis - none of that negates your belonging to the trans community.
I've seen some trans people worried that they would almost stop being trans or belonging because they've gotten bottom surgery, or top surgery, or start appearing cis, and let me tell you... none of that, ultimately, changes you on an ontological level. Yes, all these things are affirming, and it's safe to say that if you got it, you life can be so much better for it. But it doesn't change the fact that you belong, that if you're trans, you're trans.
Do what makes you most at peace. You still belong no matter what, people aren't going to love you less.
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dbphantom · 18 days
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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manasurge · 6 days
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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cornedbeefhashtags · 1 month
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💼
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cheekblush · 9 months
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼‍♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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paimonial-rage · 11 months
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hi! i'm the anon who requested for tighnari and "would they fix you". i like your answer, and it made me wonder... would tighnari let us fix him?
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
Will Tighnari let you fix him?
Though many would argue with his way of going about things, let it be said that Tighnari is nothing if not purposeful. Even when he yells at the idiotic tourists gallivanting around foolishly in the Avidya Forest, indulging in his temper is not due to a loss of control. No, it is always a calculated decision. Sad to say, some people need a brutal shock to get things through their thick skulls, and if that's what it takes to save lives, so be it. Why mention this first? This is because all of Tighnari's actions are made with thought. To insinuate he needs to fix something about himself ignores the reasons why he chose to go that route in the first place.
So would Tighnari let you fix him? Not without a lot of grumbling on his part. If he cares about you enough, he will attempt to make the changes. But please expect much sarcasm muttered under his breath as he "fixes" his mistakes.
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dimitrscu · 7 days
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writing about my elden ring oc has been my comfort thing for the last two years but since this dlc i genuinely can’t bring myself to enjoy it anymore. miquella, the haligtree and even malenia feel so different to me now
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brightwoods · 1 year
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Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?
Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too
Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift
Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now
Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC
Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead
(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)
And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later
I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff
And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together
And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC
Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?
And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation
Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?
#As a queer person the whole using homophobia against her characters as plot just to pretend homophobia doesn’t exist and call her characters#cowards for worrying about it as soon as she’s decided writing it doesn’t serve her plot agenda anymore really icks me right out#Like yeah I’d love homophobia to not exist but girl what are you doing that’s so gross to go about it that way#ALSO everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else to other characters to make it easier to get the queer characters to do what she#wanted them to was a HORRIBLE vibe. Why is Matthew outing his brother? Why is Thomas outing Alastair? Why is everyone telling everyone else#people’s sexualities as if it’s nothing and everyone has a right to know when that character clearly did not feel that way#And it’s so out of nowhere every time too#Hot take: Charles protecting Alastair’s privacy instead of outing him was more valid than anything any of the other queer characters said#about Charles or Alastair’s sexualities even if I hate Charles and his going along with the blackmail was bullshit#Also now that I’ve written all of this down and 99% of what I wrote about in here has to do with the canon queer characters that’s not#a great look either that she did breeze over some of the stuff with the other characters for sure but she was way more likely to skip depth#and development with the queer characters in CoT#CC said no slow burn gradual changes in this book… there’s only room for abrupt 180s and Cordelia running 🏃‍♀️#Sorry if this has weird typos and other mistakes in it. I typed on my phone and didn’t check for autocorrect nonsense and I’m too lazy to#reread this all rn at my current brainpower level#CoT#Chain of Thorns spoilers#Chain of Thorns#The Last Hours#The Shadowhunter Chronicles#Cassandra Clare#My Posts
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suffercerebral · 1 month
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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