#so not exactly a screenshot edit

[dingoat]

Thirteen and Ahuska, ripping apart some Star Fortresses together.

[sheurb]

umm screenshot redraw or something,,

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[j-l-kepler]

eckhart and emerleigh finally got to moonrise towers and got Extremely Necessary Evil Disguises for the infiltration. no, neither of them remember how easily they were able to infiltrate the goblin camp without said disguises.

lae'zel just doesn't appreciate good fashion sense. gods.

[azems-familiar]

them <3

[mattodore]

the reason why i was offline for a day was bc i was in cas editing mattodore and messing with my cas bg, yeah, but also... i found another oc ask game that i liked the questions for so i started drafting theo and matthias's answers for them....... there's 100 questions this time so i've just been like this in google docs

[leavemetoplaythesims]

francesca my beloved.

[magentagalaxies]

uploading all the videos i took during my time on tour with scott onto a flashdrive and there's 190 items selected omg,,,,

[paintingraves]

Florence and the Machine - Big God 

Aka House MD emotionally destroyed me so now I have to make it everyone’s problem

[a-flickering-soul]

dacryphilia

The very worst thing you can do right now is bore me. Caleen shudders. “You’re not going to believe me anyways, are you?” Her voice tremors, and Dedra wants to hear it break. “No,” she says slowly. She can feel a smile tugging at her lips. She fights like mad to suppress it, and fails. It pulls at her lips, threatening to split them, and she lets her teeth show. “I suppose not.”

Or; The Interrogation Scene and some bonuses from Lt. Dedra Meero's point of view.

Or; Sophia "Dyke With Bad Taste" A-Flickering-Soul saw this

and this

and THIS

and thought, "How can I not write the most reprehensible, terrible, Dead Doveish 2.6k words about it?"

Mind the tags.

[clearlyaginger]

wait people are actually paying for spotify I thought that was a joke

[enthusiastic]

[philophobic-paracosm]

i tried

not awful for the first screenshot edit ive ever done ig

i had to SCOUR for a screenshot they'd fit into, considering if they were in the actual show, they'd have like 3 minutes of screentime

that's how unimportant they are they're literally the physical manifestation of a subplot lmao

if you saw me say Ripley was 8ft tall in the tags of another post do not listen to it i forgot 8ft is like absolutely massive lol they're barely taller than eda

imagine forgetting to check what the lineart thickness is for the actual show before drawing it sobs

im so glad i can draw their face without them looking like a horrible abomination now they used to look so crusty

DO NOT. bring leaks/spoilers into my vicinity i will fucking decimate you

[liaprime]

I said I want to talk more about the things I'm working on, so here goes!

Currently, I'm diligently working on designing Marr's office. Because a member of the Dark Council needs a big office with lots of loyal servants!

It's based on the Dromund Kaas stronghold, logically - but for whatever reason my brain decided to change the layout a little - meaning it has nothing to do with the original layout haha because that's too mundane for a Dark Councillor tsk xD

So I'm working on two things: reworking the map so it fits with the layout in my head and remodelling and decorating the rooms in the actual stronghold.

It can be unnerving but it's also a lot of fun!

[crestiebestie]

Was playing Stardew Valley last night, extremely high, and realized I wanted to install some mods. I'm not new to modding games but I'd never gotten into modding SV so I went to install SMAPI, and holy shit y'all.

The love and care that was put into designing this piece of sortware. You run it and it pops up a command prompt and *it has instructions for how to use a command prompt built in.*

This is the single friendliest piece of software I've ever encountered. There's a meticulous wiki page with screenshots of exactly what everything looks like, where to click, what to type, everything.

It's designed so literally anybody can do it.

And it's designed to not be scary to somebody who doesn't understand computers very well but wants to download mods for this cute little farming game. Deadass had me crying of the amount of compassion and *care* that a whole community put in to make it so accessible, for free.

Humans are good, actually, and you can't change my mind

[edit] Dang this thing blew up! Got an ask for where to find it to start modding so I wanted to stick it here - if you want to start modding, install SMAPI first! If you know how to extract a compressed (zipped) file, you can most likely handle this.

And if the guides are still a little scary, please ask for help! This game and its modding community are for everyone of all levels of tech literacy. My inbox is open.

[airenyah]

apparently i can't seem to keep my mouth shut so here i go rambling about acting again...

so i was watching some behind the scenes from hidden agenda and there's this one point from when they were filming the biking scene from the practice date in the park and joong makes fun of dunk for not holding onto him properly and then dunk discusses with staff how exactly he's supposed to hold joong/joke (from 2:45 on)

and there's this one thing that dunk explains afterwards (min 3:37) that delights me a lot in particular and it's this:

because YES!! he's right!!!!

it delights me to hear him say this because growing up my mom would often point out acting things to me and especially since the start of the pandemic we've done a lot of analyzing and this thing about the hands that dunk is talking about here is actually something my mom has mentioned to me before on multiple occasions when we were talking about body language in acting

in fact, i remember this one moment in particular from a year ago: we were watching the eclipse together as it aired and towards the end of the series (ep 9?? or 10 maybe????) there was this one point during an akkayan scene where my mom suddenly pointed at khaotung and went "he looks tense". and i was so confused because the boys were lying in bed in that scene, they were lying down and i was like "how the FUCK do you even see that????"

and so over the rest of the episode (and the following ones) my mom started to look out for scenes where that tension she was referring to was easier to see so that she could explain to me how she could tell. she did find a scene and i was like "ohhh ok yeah i think i get it"

and then the final episode dropped and we were watching it together as usual when suddenly my mom hits pause and goes "do you see it?"

and i immediately knew she was referring to the curled up fingers:

in fact, i had watched the ep without subs for thai practice before watching it together with her and even by myself i'd already noticed that (and i knew my mom would say something about it lmao)

and the issue with khao's hands in this scene is exactly what dunk is saying in the hidden agenda behind the scenes clip from above. khao is touching first's waist only with the tips of his fingers and it looks tentative, as if he doesn't quite dare to maximize the physical touch by using his entire hand to hold first

and that isn't to say as an actor you are forbidden from ever curling your fingers like that! however, everything you do in front of the camera (or on stage) needs to be on purpose. so if you're curling up your fingers when holding onto your colleague? well, it should be a conscious decision that you've taken in order to tell the audience a particular thing regarding the story/the character(s)/the relationship between the characters/etc

and here in the eclipse those curled fingers look strange because here we are basically at the end. we're in the final episode, more than halfway through the final part of the episode (part 4/4, min 9:04 out of 14mins to be exact). at this point the characters have been through a lot together, they've gone through character development, after a long, tumultuous story ayan and akk are finally on the same page as akk is finally comfortable with and open about his feelings for aye. so aye looking like he's afraid to touch akk just feels completely off at this point in the story (esp considering that in the story ayan is the one who is open and unapologetic about his feelings and his wants)

anyway, this is just something i was reminded of when i was watching the behind the scenes of hidden agenda and dunk brought up the hand issue. and i just always get really excited when i watch interviews and especially behind the scenes videos and the actors mention/talk about/explain something that i was taught myself

(also, disclaimer just in case: i don't mean to say that khaotung is a bad actor bc we all know that's not the case. it's just, that particular moment is off for the reasons that i've explained above. and it's somehow relieving to know that even pros don't necessarily nail every single second of their screen time kdjffdkjgf)