#so much more could be done with my hardware but for some reason the software hasn’t changed in years

[transgenderfivepebbles]

the experience of feeling several years older and younger than you are at the same time in the worst way possible

[beespaceprogram]

Sticker Cutter Research

I was looking into getting a sticker cutting machine, and I decided to start by looking into cricut which is a well known brand. I had a look at what models they had than their feature etc, but what I was most concerned about was their software. Printer companies like to lock you into a defacto subscription to support hardware you don't really own, and as I was to discover, cricut are operating in a similar way.

The cricut software is online-only*. To cut your own designs you need to use their software to upload your art to their server. There's no way to cut a new design without a logged-in cricut account and an internet connection. At one point in 2021 they flirted with limiting free accounts to 20 uploads/month but backed down after huge community backlash, as far as I can tell.

The incident spawned several community efforts to write open-source firmware for cricut hardware. Some efforts were successful for specific models/serial numbers, but require cracking open the case and hooking in to the debug contacts to flash the chip; not exactly widely accessible. Another project sought to create a python cricut server you can run locally, and then divert the app's calls to the server to your local one.

I restarted my search, this time beginning with looking for extant open-source software for driving cutters, and found this project, which looks a little awkward to use, but functional. They list a bunch of cutter hardwares and whether they're compatible or not. Of those, I recognised the sihouette brand name from other artists talking about them.

I downloaded the silhouette software to try like I did w the cricut software, and immediately it was notable that it didn't try to connect to the internet at all. It's a bit clunky, in that way printer and scanner software tends to be, but I honestly greatly preferred using it to cricut's sluggish electron app⁺. Their software has a few paid tiers above the free one, adding stuff like sgv import/export/and reading cut settings from a barcode on the input material. They're one-off payments, and seem reasonable to me.

This is not so much a review, as sharing some of the research I've done. I haven't yet used either a cricut or a silhouette, and I haven't researched other brands either. But I wanted to talk about this research because to me, cricut's aggressively online nature is a red flag. Software that must connect to a server to run is software that runs only at the whim of the server owner (and only as long as it's profitable to keep the server up). And if that software is the only thing that will make your several hundred dollars worth of plastic and (cheap, according to a teardown I read) servos run, then you have no guarantee you'll be able to run it in the future.

Do you use a desktop cnc cutter? What has your experience been like with the hardware and software? Do you have any experience from home printers with good print quality and user-refillable ink cartridges?

* Cricut's app tried to connect to more than 14 different addresses, including facebook, youtube, google analytics, datadoghq.com, and launchdarkly.com. Launch Darkly are a service provider that help software companies do a whole bunch of things I'm coming to despise, for example, they offer infrastructure for serving different features to different demographics and comparing results to control groups. You know how at various times you've gotten wildly different numbers of ads than your friends on instagram? They were using techniques like this to work out how many ads they could show without affecting their pickup/engagement rates. Scummy stuff.

⁺ Electron apps are web-pages pretending to be applications. They use heaps of ram, tend to have very poor performance, and encourage frustrating UI design that doesn't follow OS conventions. Discord's app is a notable example of an Electron app

[rearranged-fanfic]

(Update 6/3)

Sit down a spell, weary traveler. Come and sit by my fire; bask in the warmth of the flame and rest your aching scrolling finger. You'll be sitting a while, for I have a tale to tell:

Okay, so I've had a Toshiba laptop for the better part of ten years. Maybe a little longer. That laptop has survived being struck by lightning, submerged in a bathtub, and literally having a whole bookcase topple down onto it. I thought it was immortal...

I was sadly mistaken.

About six months ago, I noticed that the typing was getting sluggish. I'd patter away at the keyboard and the letters would appear with a bit of lag. That's fine, since I use Dragon to talk-to-text for quite a bit of my writing. I really only use the keyboard for final assembly, editing, and doing quick rewrites. So, it really didn't bother me. Fastforward to April, which we will call The Great Depression. The time discrepancy between typing and having letters appear on screen became a whopping 40 seconds. Yes, I timed it.

But that was okay, because I could still use my Dragon headset.

Until I couldn't.

It would connect, but the words wouldn't appear on screen. I made sure that all of my programs were up-to-date, and that everything was working. The headset connected to my family's computers just fine. So that meant it was something wrong with mine.

Without being sure if it was the hardware or software at fault, I backed everything up to OneDrive and Google Docs.

I factory reset.

Twice. To no avail.

Over the next few days, my laptop stopped registering any keyboard input at all. It got to a point where I wasn't able to turn it on or off.

Taking it to an electronics store to get repaired didn't help, either. No luck. They said that it would be more cost effective to just buckle down and get a new one, since the age of the laptop meant that I would probably be constantly maintaining it.

My poor Toshiba died kicking and screaming, putting up a fight worthy of an epic ballad.

I saved up for a few weeks, got a new laptop, and went through the rigmarole of getting all of my programs back on it. My files are in order. My life is in shambles (but that's normal, LOL).

I DID do some story work without my computer, but... it's bad. Like, I'd die in shame if I posted anything that I thumbed in. So. Many. Spelling. Errors. How people write on their phone is beyond me. That's a talent I simply don't possess.

At this point, I'm thinking of renaming this story "HIATUS" lol. JK. But I'm seriously peeved that this happened after my last big break. Why couldn't the Depression and laptop breakdown coincide nicely? I guess that's too much to ask of the universe *Shakes fist at the sky*.

I'm creating a damn bingo card for every stupid thing that happens to me while I try to write. Because this is getting ridiculous. I broke my fingers, there was a total solar eclipse, I had a major-ish mental breakdown, and my computer bit the big one. With a free space, that's a bingo. Let's hope I don't get a blackout before the end of 2024.

I doubted the fanfiction curse. I really did. But it's apparently real. And this writer's curse has teeth, people. It bites hard.

I have my MerMay two-shot pretty well done (because I was typing it during The Great Depression), but the next chapter for REARRANGED is still rough. Crimson Chapter 3 is halfway done, but who knows how long that'll take.

The bottom line is that I'm alive and still working on the stories. The next update on this blog will be the posting of several chapters for a few different works. Fingers crossed.

Also, I'm very, very slowly answering the comments in my AO3 inbox. Some of them were pretty lengthy, so it might take a bit. Oof.

If there ever comes a time that I drop this fanfiction or am unable to continue for whatever reason, either I or my husband will be posting the entirety of my outline, as well as anything that's been pre-written for you guys to enjoy. That way there are no questions left unanswered or mysteries unsolved.

[vadapega]

Rummaging through my old room I find this, a traditional flip note of Pantufa the Cat from 2011 or earlier, with rusty staples and, according to the numbers on the corner, missing frames.

For detailed ramblings of hidden memories this unlocked, click for more

I've always wanted to be an animator and, while I didn’t have the software or hardware for digital animation, I wanted to practice is as much as I could. This was the best I could put together at the age of 16.

I would do small scale animations at the edges of notebooks or draft ideas in comic form with notes before I knew what a Storyboard was. Back then I didn't even have a stable internet connection in the first place, this was around the time I had to share a PC with my older brother who would kick me out at any opportunity and hog the PC for the entire day, only letting me on at the last minute, where I would get an earful from my parents and be told to go to bed, it was a nightmare to do anything digitally...

The first drawing tablet I got was considered scrap the moment I got it for Christmas. No screen, wobbly inaccurate pen (can't draw a straight line without it looking like lightning), Silvercrest branded (basically, LIDL), it was as cheap as it could be but it was my introduction to "not using the mouse to draw" which it did not help with as even today revisiting it makes me want to draw with a mouse more.

Things were very strict and if something did what it needed to do, it didn't need to be replaced. "That's what I had been taught"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" was the motto for my family and that mentality stuck to me even to the present day. I still find myself using MSPaint for Pixelart or drawings, as spending for anything greater is hardwired in my brain as "unnecessary" or "wasteful", hell, I wasn't even allowed to spend money outside of school purchases such as at the cafeteria (they had a kickass card charging system which made the school I attended in Germany around 2016-2019 look medieval in comparison which is incredible since Portugal isn't the first thing you think of when it comes to technological advancements), so any money I would get for Christmas or birthdays was practically useless and I never learned to manage income. I would sometimes find my mom take the money off my piggy bank for groceries and other goods when she was running low, she didn't try to lie, she had no reason to.

Anything I can get for free is what I stick by and I'll only spend money if I absolutely have to or, more recently, if it benefited close friends in any way, as I've learned to have no regard for my own well being and should be ashamed for even considering it, others always take priority.

So when it comes to animation today, I have a "yar har" version of Toon Boom Studio 8.0 for bigger things (I've tried OpenToonz but it's very crash happy and I've lost hours of animation with it even with the backup and auto save features on, back in the day I had a a copy of Flash CS4 I grabbed from the school computers that I got to work after some tinkering and a well placed crack) and for Pixelart I just use Windows XP's MSPaint and abuse scroll-wheel and window resizing shenanigans to advance frames. I don't get much time to practice animation and I get easily excited to have a chance at it.

I'm under my own mental shackles at all times and that's not going to change, only further cemented by the elitist mindset the Sonic Hacking community and SRB2 had taught me, a mindset I regret adopting and one I catch myself going back to and feeling ashamed of every now and then, leading only to depressive episodes that are best left for a psychologist to deal with... should I ever find the opportunity to seek one without time and language barrier issues.

As the years go by and I find myself doing or just refining Pixelart than to do animated pieces, I've given up hope in being an animator in the foreseeable future, only dedicating animation to those done in private between friends, never allowing myself to clean up or refining it in any meaningful way unless asked for because I shouldn't. It's why I tend to ask for suggestions or characters to add for animations I plan to do, cause I don't want it to be for me, I want it to be for those I can make happy to see it.

---

Before I hit "Post", a reminder that there are people much worse off than I am, these are just memories and 1st world problems and should be nobody's priority. Please support growing young artists and animators, they need it more than some washed up wanna-be animator that is known for nothing else but basic Sonic ROM hacks disguised to look impressive via a coat of MSPaint.

[hosttos]

There's one class I'm taking this semester that is actually making me reanalyze my whole life, it's called Digital Electronics 1, doesn't sound very exciting (and it isn't), yet my experience with it has been nothing short of surreal, like The Twilight Zone surreal, it may not seem so from what I'm about to tell, but I'm currently considering the possibility that the devil's messing with me for funsies.

The first couple of classes were as normal as they could be, from time to time this weird geeky teacher would say some things I didn't understand, however pretty much everyone else in the class seemed unphased by them so I didn't think much of it at first. As weeks went by I couldn't help but notice it happened more and more frequently.

This class also has a lab component, which has never been my strong suit, but in this case I thought it'd be much easier since pretty much all work would be on the computer and not an actual lab. It was hell. First two classes or so were meant to install special software in our computers to control a FPGA board (a board whose hardware you can manipulate via software through your computer), I could not for the life of me follow a four step tutorial on how to do it. The tutorial was as good as a tutorial can be, or so I think, but ok the second step I was already losing my mind: files that were supposed to appear didn't exist, lines of code in my computer were blocked for some reason, packages were asking for money even though I had a license already, etc. This went on for two weeks.

After having to talk for hours with the lab assistant I ended up with an erased hard disk running only Linux on my ONLY computer (as opposed to having a half partition for Linux and half for Windows, what it was supposed to be) but most of the required software was running just fine, I thought this was acceptable, nothing I could complain about since I was already two weeks behind on the required lab reports, the teacher said he was flexible with the established dates so I didn't worry much.

When I actually started reading the lab guides my second personal hell started, I understood in full everything I was supposed to do but had absolutely zero idea on how to do it, I gave it a couple of hours at home to try but got nothing from it, before giving up I thought maybe if I was THAT lost I wasn't the only one struggling with it, so I waited for the next class before trying again. I was, apparently, very wrong.

Next class for some reason everyone was having trouble. To be precise, they were all having a problem I did not even understand, and they all had easily overcome the trouble I was having when they faced it. I was so embarrassed I had to wait for the class to end to ask the teacher for help, which she very happily did: she pointed out what was wrong with the hardware description (fancy talk for "code"), manually corrected some things that were keeping my software from running correctly (which I should have noticed) and gave me some general advice. I was so embarrassed to admit I didn't understand any of what she said that I just thanked her and left.

I started sleeping less, some nights I would try to make a sense of what she told me and I could make nothing of it, nada, nothing at all, I understood all the individual words that made up the advice she gave me but the sum of them made no sense in my mind.

Non-lab classes were good though, I understood all the theoretical components and all the topics covered, although from time to time the teacher would zone out for a while and say some truly insane shit I couldn't even begin to grasp the concept of, but since these didn't seem to affect the over all course of the class and I seemed to be the only confused one, things went by just fine.

As weeks went by I got more and more embarrassed just walking into that lab, every week at home I thought I finally made some progress just to find out my labmates had done thrice my work in half the time. But the worst part is how I just stopped understanding anything at all in that lab room, the teacher would explain something and everyone just kind of nodded in agreement for hours at a time, I felt dumber at the end of every class. I tried asking friends, they seemed as cursed as the teacher, with all the goodness in their hearts they'd start explaining things to me but at that moment my brain would lock completely and no knowledge could come in, I could tell they meant well, they were very nice too, and explained in very simple terms, it is absolutely clear at this point the problem is me.

I spent most of my class time wondering how all these people understood so well a programming language none of us were familiar with. They just went along with it, it was easy for them, and it seemed easy too, none of the reports required more than 20 or so lines of code to work. But once I stared at the screen for one hour trying to understand what the first 10 lines of code meant, I saw YouTube tutorials and Reddit forums looking for help, but it just didn't click.

I finished 4 lab reports in 8 weeks, a true miracle considering I didn't understand most of them. The remainder of the semester is to be spent making a project based on all we learned, and as such, the lab teacher would only be available for advice regarding the project. I tried to be optimistic about this.

First class that was meant to be spent solving problems about said project (a Tamagotchi). I went in with the hopes of asking for help but when I saw some of the other projects and how advanced they were I died a little. Some people asked some questions that seemed so much more advanced than mine I just couldn't bring myself to ask, I'm normally not so shy about asking teachers for help but this was different, my question really seemed like an offense to ask at that point. I felt the strongest need to leave that room I had just walked into five minutes prior.

At this point I feel like I'm truly losing my mind, I can't walk into that class and not feel I'm the dumbest person in the room, sometimes I even feel they're all aware of it too, I don't think it's the way they look at me, because as I said they're all very nice, but I can't help but feel they are all acting like they don't notice the toddler in the room that wants to act like an adult.

I couldn't take the psychological damage I was getting from that class so I started working on the project at home, not nearly as fast as I'm supposed to but I got some things accomplished eventually. When time came to test things I was not so surprised when nothing worked.

I made several attempts to get things running without any success at all, a few weeks went by and I finally asked for help from a classmate. She lent me some code and, fascinatingly enough, her code did exactly the same thing as mine, the only difference being hers does work. So I tried her code on my computer and, surprise, it didn't on mine. I'm absolutely certain all my components work (because I had to replace some) and my computer and the board both work fine because I actually ran stuff from the labs on it, so no reasonable explanation so far.

Once again I feel like the universe just fucking hates me, and the fucker knows where to hit me for maximum effect, I see that fucking code in my dreams, I can't sleep at night thinking about it, there is a leprechaun living on my walls changing my connections and ruining my code everytime I look away as a running joke for an audience I can't see. It's going to be the last thing I see before I die, I know for sure.

This class is nothing different to what I have taken before, the required courses to take the class I passed with high grades even, it can't be such a jump, and it isn't apparently. Most people seem okay with this class, some of my friends have taken it already and said it was a pretty tame experience?!?but I'm on the verge of insanity and nothing a person in that class says can seem to help me in any way. I'm truly on the verge of something fundamental in me changing, I don't want to know what and I especially don't want it to happen.

[sadwinning]

Devlog 1 (1/25/24): Why This Is Pointless

In my intro post, I mentioned how it would be much easier to map the 12 chromatic notes of Western music to the 3 action buttons and 8 directions of Undertale, and how I won't be doing that for purely aesthetic reasons. I also want to mention why everything I'm doing to my violin is completely stupid.

If you want to follow in my footsteps, you shouldn't do it the way I'm doing it. You probably can't.

My violin is a Yamaha EV-205 five-string electric from the late aughts/early 10's. I recently learned that this violin is no longer in production, so there's no way your standard Joe Schmoe can pick up this tutorial, nor would they want to if they were in the market for an electric violin, because they already sell electric violins that are MIDI controller enabled. You should buy that and follow the software specs of CZR drums and their MIDI-to-controller software partner/whatever. I simply do not want to spend more money on an electric violin when I already have one with the right hardware (individual pickups for each of the five strings). So I will be voiding the warranty that likely no longer exists and busting open my violin to see what I can patch together.

When I busted this component (pictured above) open I immediately found a not-so-complex PCB where I could locate each of the individual string inputs. I have yet to see whether those ports will give me the inputs I need - golly, I have yet to learn how to solder enough to access those ports!! - but the visibility gives me hope. it doesn't look hard, especially for someone who has been low-key interested in soldering for like 15 years (since my Pokemon Gold copy's battery died and I learned the ways to replace it) but I can't say I know exactly what data flows through that part of the circuit and how easy it would be to extract and manipulate.

I've done a lot of research into what I would need to take analog audio signal(s) and transform them into MIDI or some other binary/digital data. The first thing I found was an Arduino library, so I knew this wouldn't be hard. I only have one Arduino (knock-off) and I didn't like the idea of buying four more (one for each string) to get the MIDI values when I would probably be connected to a computer the whole time no matter what.

This led me to where I'm sitting pretty right now, at a Python library (Python being my favorite language) that uses its GitHub .md file to explain why Markov chains are important. Reader, do you know how much I love Markov chains? Did you know that in my sophomore year of college I created a musical AI by programming Markov chains in Python??? How is it that all of my interests loop in upon each other in the same way that my first and only job out of college involved natural language processing in Python just like my senior project where I did language analysis on okcupid profiles???? Is time in fact a flat circle? I don't have time to think about this because I want to program violin to play undertale pleas

Where I'll be starting is with this library and with monophonic input (one note at a time rather than interpreting multiple notes at once e.g. multiple strings played simultaneously) to make a controller of any kind work. But I have a lot of reading to do to see how Markov chains are involved. With it being both Python and linear algebra, I have the capacity to adjust the code to do whatever I want it to do. Given this insane opportunity I can't not do all the research possible to finetune things to my precise desires. If I were satisfied with "good enough", I would be playing monophonic input the whole way through. Let's go insane, boys.

[blazehedgehog]

Is it possible to make a game like Sonic 3 today within the deadlines it had back then? Pixel art, physics and all.

Why wouldn't it be?

It was the third game in the series. They already had a very strong idea of what they were trying to do with the character, they already had proven technology under them that they could easily extend and upgrade. They had been doing this on Sonic for three years already, and some of the people had been working for Sega even longer than that.

These were talented, experienced people. Professionals. Having the prior knowledge to be able to say, "if we do X, then we get Y" allowed them to work quickly and efficiently.

So I would compare it to, say, what I did with OverBite. OverBite was a game I made for a Clickteam Fusion Game Jam in 2016. We had from like, September 30th or even the 29th up to October 31st to make an entire game. It came out to something like 33 days.

So I made this game where you play as Dracula. I wrote all the code, designed all the mechanics, made all of the sprites, and built all of the levels. Alone. By myself. A single person. The only other person to help me with anything was my old friend Malcolm Brown, who handed me some music.

I had JUST bought Clickteam Fusion 2.5 on Steam, which means it had 0 hours of usage registered. I used it to make OverBite, which means I could track exactly how many hours I spent working on the game, and though I don't remember the exact total, I remember after doing the math it ended up shaking out to between 9 to 11 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 33 days. It was more than 300 hours total.

Again. For one person. I'm not saying it's the greatest game ever made. The level design in particular was extremely last second -- literally, I was down to the last day, only really had finished the gameplay engine, so I cobbled together four levels in a few hours and put it up seconds before the deadline at midnight. But the point is that I had worked in Clickteam Fusion for a decade and a half and could execute on my needs very well. I knew the software and the process like the back of my hand.

Now imagine having two people like that. Or five. Or ten. "300 hours of work in one month" suddenly turns into 3000 hours in one month. Using tech they already have, and proven gameplay concepts they have a lot of familiarity with.

It still wasn't easy, mind you. But the concepts that made it work back then not only still work today, they probably work even better because you aren't fighting to squeeze things down into such limited hardware. Like, the entire reason a game jam can even exist as a concept at all is because at a certain level of development, things are just easier now.

A game jam in 1994 is an impossible concept to think of because the tools had to be so super specialized to an incredibly narrow kind of work environment. You had to be a genius computer scientist to get something like Sonic the Hedgehog to function, never mind how much money it would cost to get something like a development kit.

Today, literally anyone can pick up a copy of Godot or Unreal 5, watch a few Youtube tutorials, and make a game from their bedroom with consumer tools. And those tools are faster, easier, and more intuitive to work with than anything that came before. It cannot be understated what a huge concept that is, and how that used to be totally impossible 15-20 years ago.

(And before some British dude rolls up like "yeah well you could always do that with the amiga" -- that's true, but it's also still different, and the fact that you can just give Microsoft $20 to unlock "Developer Mode" on an Xbox and start pushing Unity and Unreal games you develop on your PC to a console is still mindblowing in context.)

And it trickles down, too. If you know the conversion process, you can use these nice amazing modern tools to make proper retro games that run on real retro hardware.

All of this is to say that just because it's easier doesn't mean it should be done. OverBite absolutely slaughtered me. 11 hours of game development a day, 7 days a week, for almost five solid weeks was deeply unhealthy, physically and mentally. I haven't come close to finishing any game project, ever, since OverBite. It fried me.

And on Sonic Team's side, Sonic 3 was so massively stressful for them that they quit making Sonic games for almost half a decade. Crunch time development like that hurts in many ways, both visible and (mostly) invisible.

But yes, it could still absolutely be done.

[itswavelengths]

The iPhone Camera Needs an Upgrade

MKBHD's new video about the lag between the iPhone's camera system against that of the competition strikes a nerve I've been feeling for the past few years. I consider myself an amateur photographer, which is the only reason I've ever needed to get the new Pro-level iPhone every year. The camera upgrades are usually worth it.

But I remember receiving the iPhone 12 Pro on launch day and taking a few test shots against my trusty 11 Pro — a camera system I truly loved — and noticing something that threw me off. A lot of the reviews I'd read highlighted improvements in the hardware, but it seemed to me that the machine-learning photo-processing was overdoing it. I thought I must be wrong, and wrote as much in my review at the time:

The cameras feel about on par with the last generation of phones — I personally haven't noticed their supposedly being better when taking photos in everyday situations, but I'd believe they were better if you or some other tech columnist told me so.

Should have trusted your gut, Bigley!

Over time though, it's become more and more evident that the software side of iOS has been mangling what should be great images taken with a great sensor and superbly crafted lenses. To be clear: The RAW files produced by this system in apps like Halide are stunning. But there's something lost in translation when it comes to the stock Camera app and the ways in which it handles images from every day use.

This is not a phenomenon that has flown under the radar of non-techie users either. I saw a TikTok (which I unfortunately didn't save and I'm sure will never see again) earlier this year showing an iPhone "hack" that involved taking a photo, opening the preview, and taking a screenshot before the processing could hit to produce a more natural and softer look than the sharpened and HDR-laden final image. On my end, I've gone all out.

I like the speed the stock Camera app provides, especially having it accessible from my lock screen. To curb the over-corrections, I've tuned my own version of a Rich Contrast photographic style and turned on Live Photos. To my eyes, both in conjunction with one another reduce the amount of work the iPhone's chip does to "improve" images, creating a more natural photograph when all is said and done.

Either way, ever since the iPhone 12 lineup hit I've gotten into the habit of throwing photos into an app like Huji or��DazzCam to dirty them up. But I'd rather not! I'd rather share a barely-altered and high-resolution image if possible, as I used to do when I was a Google Pixel user. For now it seems like fake film grain and Live Photos are the way to go.

I'm hopeful Apple will course correct in time. They usually do!

⏆

[beingknows-blog]

Why Does My CPU Keep Overheating

A CPU that overheats is a sign of a faulty cooling system. The CPU will throttle its performance to prevent damage, leading to data loss and corruption. Overheating can also shorten the lifespan of the CPU. It is important to keep the CPU cool to prevent these problems.

If your computer is overheating, it's important to figure out why. Otherwise, you risk damaging your CPU, which can lead to data loss or hardware failure. A few common reasons for a CPU to overheat include dust buildup, poor ventilation, and overclocking. In most cases, you can fix the problem by cleaning the CPU, adding more fans, or adjusting your settings.

In a hurry? Check out my new post on   Best AM4 CPU

As anyone who has ever suffered through a laptop meltdown knows, an overheating CPU can be a frustrating experience. But Why Does My CPU Keep Overheating? And is there anything you can do about it? Let's take a look at the most common causes of CPU overheating and what you can do to prevent it.

Causes and Solutions of CPU overheat

There are many causes of overheating. Some are easy to fix, others not so much. Let's take a look at the most common causes of CPU overheating:

1.      Demanding applications

High-intensity applications can strain CPU or GPU capacity, causing the component to overheat. Overheating can lead to decreased performance and even damage to the component. To avoid overheating, make sure your computer has good ventilation and keep an eye on temperature monitors. If your CPU overheats, you can try reducing the workload or overclocking the CPU to improve cooling.

2.      Multiple open browser tabs

The CPU is the central processing unit of a computer. It is responsible for carrying out instructions from software programs. When a program is open, the CPU allocates a certain amount of its processing power to that program. The more programs that are open simultaneously, the more processing power the CPU has to divide among them. It can lead to decreased performance and, in some cases, overheating.

One way to help prevent your CPU from overheating is to close any browser tabs you're not using. Having multiple tabs open uses more processing power than having just one or two open. It puts extra strain on the CPU and can cause it to overheat.

3.      Unresponsive programs

If your computer is overheating, it could be because you're running too many programs at once. When you have too many programs open, your computer has to work harder, and this can cause the CPU to overheat. You can try closing some of the programs you're not using to fix this. If that doesn't help, you may need to upgrade your CPU or get a new computer.

4.      Overclocking

Overclocking is the process of configuring a piece of computer hardware to run at a faster speed than it was designed for. It can be done by adjusting the clock speed, voltage, and other settings. Overclocking is often used to improve the performance of a component, such as a processor or graphics card.

However, overclocking can also lead to stability issues and increased heat output. If not done properly, it can cause permanent damage to the hardware. For this reason, it is important to research how to overclock properly before attempting it.

Follow our guide to Best Nvidia Control Panel Settings

Despite the risks, many people still choose to overclock their hardware. When done correctly, it can provide a significant boost in performance. It is also possible to adjust the settings to find a balance between stability and increased performance.

5.      Fan failure

One possible reason for your CPU overheating could be a failed or failing fan. The fan is responsible for cooling the CPU by drawing air over the heat sink and dissipating the heat. If the fan fails, the airflow is reduced, and the CPU can overheat. Symptoms of a failed or failing fan include strange noises, excessive vibration, or no movement at all. If you suspect your fan has failed, you should replace it as soon as possible to avoid damaging your CPU.

6.      Blocked air vents

One common reason a CPU overheats is when air vents become blocked. The CPU needs a constant flow of air to keep cool, and the airflow is restricted when the vents are blocked. It can cause the CPU to overheat and damage the internal components.

There are a few things that can cause air vents to become blocked. One is dust buildup. Over time, dust can accumulate in the vents and eventually block them off. Another possibility is pet hair. If you have pets that shed, their hair can get into the vents and cause problems. Finally, if you live in an area with a lot of pollen or other allergens in the air, they can also build up in the vents and cause problems.

7.      Outdated software

As electronic devices and software become more complex, it's essential to keep them up-to-date to avoid potential problems. Overheating is one issue that can occur when using outdated software.

Outdated software may not be compatible with your device's current operating system, leading to conflicts and potential overheating. Additionally, old software may not be able to take advantage of the latest security updates, leaving your device vulnerable to malware and other threats.

To avoid these issues, it's important to keep your software updated. Check for updates regularly, and install them as soon as they're available. In some cases, you may need to purchase a new version of a program or upgrade your operating system to keep up with the latest changes. Though it may cost a little bit of money upfront, staying current will help protect your investment in the long run.

8.      Direct sunlight

It's a hot summer day, and you're trying to stay cool indoors. But even with the air conditioner running, your home feels like an oven. The reason may be that your air conditioner is working overtime to combat the heat emanating from your computer.

Computers and other electronic devices generate heat, and they can shut down when they overheat. That's why keeping them in cool, well-ventilated areas is important. If your computer is overheating, it's because it's in direct sunlight.

Move your computer to a cooler location, out of direct sunlight, and see if that makes a difference. If not, check to see if dust or lint is blocking the airflow around the device. Cleaning the vents on your computer can help prevent overheating.

Conclusion - Why Does My CPU Keep Overheating

As electronic devices become smaller and more powerful, they also generate more heat. If this heat is not dissipated, it can lead to damage or even complete failure of the device.

There are a number of reasons why your CPU might overheat. The most common cause is simply that the cooling system is inadequate for the amount of heat generated. In some cases, there may be a problem with how the cooling system is installed or with the thermal paste used to conduct heat away from the CPU.

I hope that this article Why Does My CPU Keep Overheating has helped show you how to diagnose an overheating CPU and what you can do about it.

[cfpolh]

Setup slush pool macminer

#Setup slush pool macminer how to#

#Setup slush pool macminer software#

This is more my speed than the LCD display, for now.

#Setup slush pool macminer how to#

If you need an intro to getting a Raspberry Pi setup with a distro, there’s a good quick start guide from the Raspberry Pi foundation.Īlso, I’m using this forum tutorial from the Raspberry Pi forums, which instructs you how to install and use an SSH application called “screen” to view cgminer status in lieu of the Adafruit Industries LCD display. If you can get the Pi up and running, the Adafruit tutorial makes the whole cgminer install and setup thing as simple as copying and pasting, but be warned. And if you don’t know what SSH means…well…this will be extra hard.

#Setup slush pool macminer software#

The whole software setup process is pretty terminal intensive, so if you’re not comfortable in a UNIX environment it may be intimidating. The tutorial walks you through installing cgminer on Raspbian. I am closely following the wonderful Adafruit Learning Tutorial on how to Configure a Raspberry Pi to Mine Bitcoin. I’m not kidding, there’s a reason this guy is using a fan in his setup. I’ve also ordered a powered D-link USB hub, and a USB fan to cool the ASICMINER Block Erupter Sticks, which I’ve learned (firsthand) get incredibly hot from a few minutes of use. But, if you’re looking to use BTC you already have to purchase hardware, use BitMit. Don’t be alarmed, you don’t need to use BitMit to find/buy ASICMINER sticks (like many discussions on the web would lead you to believe), there are plenty of sellers on Amazon. The ASICMINER Block Erupter Sticks I found on Amazon for $100-$130 a piece. The Raspberry Pi (model B) I’ve had laying around for awhile, haven’t done much with it beyond trying to create a media center that can rival the setup I have currently. The current plan is to utilize 4 ASICMINER Block Erupter Sticks and a Raspberry Pi as the primary hardware. The sooner you get mining, the more you’ll make…the difficulty is only going up. (NOTE: I still think learning CAD is now and always will be more profitable than learning how to mine Bitcoin properly) Now that I have the time and the means, I thought I’d give it another try. I had downloaded the Bitcoin wallet software several years ago, but it wasn’t plug-and-play enough then and I was getting my second degree, so I figured I’d rather spend more time learning CAD than learning how to join a mining pool. I’ve been saying I wanted to get into this whole “Bitcoin thing” since I first heard about it in 2010, and never did much. Also, the industrial designer in me has wanted to design a specialty case for the Raspberry Pi for quite some time, and configuring a Pi to mine bitcoin seems like a great opportunity. Since the competition ended, I’ve stayed on up research and news regarding Bitcoin and two weeks ago I saw this imgur gallery tweeted from This sparked my interest into finding the ASICMINER Block Erupter Sticks for sale and seeing if I could replicate this operation on a smaller scale. Watch the video, I’m still quite proud of the concept. The project combined anonymous routing, cryptographic currency, and crowdfuding to create a platform, called BigShot, where deviant activity can be funded in complete anonymity. This whole endeavor is fueled by my continuing interest in crypto-graphic currencies, stemming from my participation in a project which won the 2013 Future of Money Award. I’m in the process of setting up my own Bitcoin mining operation, so I thought I’d share out what I’ve attempted and learned thus far, as well as some thoughts about the nature of Bitcoin in general.

[unlimitedskybird]

American conquest 2

What’s more, there isn’t much time to catch up if a nation falls behind in AI. “GPTs are best described by economists as ‘changes that transform both household life and the ways in which firms conduct business.’ The four most important GPTs of the last two centuries were the steam engine, electric power, information technology (IT), and artificial intelligence (AI).” To more fully understand AI’s significance, it “is useful to think of technical change as having come in four waves since the 1800s, brought about by a sequence of ‘general purpose technologies’ (GPTs),” explained Brookings last year. “He argued these emerging technologies were far more critical to America’s future than hardware such as big-budget fifth-generation fighter jets such as the F-35” and stated that “China was set to dominate the future of the world, controlling everything from media narratives to geopolitics,” the paper further writes. And “Chaillan, 37, who spent three years on a Pentagon-wide effort to boost cyber security and as first chief software officer for the US Air Force, said Beijing is heading for global dominance because of its advances in artificial intelligence, machine learning and cyber capabilities,” the FT also informs. Meanwhile, the only “transition” China is interested in is that from great power to world empire. Our generals have also been busy pushing sexual devolutionary and feminist innovations, such as developing “maternity flight suits” for pregnant service members and catering to the “transgender” agenda. In particular, they’ve warned of “white supremacy” in the ranks and have sought to root it out (likely a cover for purging Biden regime opponents), which is a bit like devoting resources to ferreting out the remaining unicorns from America’s horse population. This won’t come as a shock to some, with how Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin and the now-infamous General Mark Milley have prioritized “wokeness” over military readiness. Right now, it’s already a done deal it is already over in my opinion,’ he said, adding there was ‘good reason to be angry,’” the FT also related. “‘We have no competing fighting chance against China in 15 to 20 years. “In his first interview since leaving … Chaillan told the Financial Times that the failure of the US to respond to Chinese cyber and other threats was putting his children’s future at risk,” the paper continues. Nicolas Chaillan, who left the Department of Defense earlier this month, said he departed “because he could not stand to watch China overtake America,” writes the Financial Times (FT). Thus should we be more than alarmed that the Pentagon’s former software chief - who just resigned in protest over our military’s stunted technological development - has said that cyber defenses in parts of our government are at “kindergarten level.” “Whoever leads in artificial intelligence in 2030 will rule the world until 2100.” So wrote the Brookings Institution in January 2020, echoing the warnings of so many.

[nodespeedsite]

Logitech quickcam pro 9000 driver

I purchased the newer webcam, since I was thinking there’s absolutely, positively no possible way an 8 year old webcam can be better than one manufactured this year (regarding the image quality).

Actually, particularly regarding the drivers, since even in manual mode, it decides that it knows better than me how it should work, thus turning the exposure/compensation down, regardless of the absolute lack of light (didn’t have this problem with the older webcam). The reason I was so frustrated is because I purchased a quickcam express recently, and I find it to be utter crap, particularly regarding the drivers. The reply came, a very polite reply even, that summed up told me that there’s nothing that could be done. Initially I sent out a support email regarding an older webcam (the quickcam traveller, which is by all standards THE best webcam I’ve seen in the 8 years since I’ve had it) that didn’t have windows XP 圆4 drivers. There will be much more to share as the official Windows 7 launch draws near, but for now I just want to let you know that we’ll be ready when Windows 7 is ready! I think this will make it much easier for people to customize their mice, keyboards, webcams and other hardware attachments to their liking – and to take advantage of some of the features you might not have known how to configure in the past. You’ll be able to click on the picture of a device and configure it, and you’ll even be able to access Logitech software through Device and Printers. The beauty of Devices and Printers is that it provides one place where you can see all the peripherals attached to your computer, including your mouse and keyboard. One of my favorite new features is called Device and Printers. Rest assured, not only will we be supporting Windows 7, but we’ve been working closely with the Windows 7 team at Microsoft to improve the experience people will have when using our mice and keyboards with Windows 7. As one of the product managers in the Control Devices business unit (that’s Logitech’s way of saying mice and keyboards), I’m getting more and more questions about our support for Windows 7, particularly with today’s announcement from Microsoft.

[bananairish]

Magic trackpad gestures mac

#MAGIC TRACKPAD GESTURES MAC SOFTWARE#

#MAGIC TRACKPAD GESTURES MAC MAC#

#MAGIC TRACKPAD GESTURES MAC SOFTWARE#

While software troubleshooting will cost you nothing, the hardware repair costs may vary. If your MacBook trackpad is not working, there are generally two reasons why: What to do when the trackpad on a MacBook stops working In this post, we will highlight possible reasons why the trackpad is not working and suggest solutions for each scenario. However, you may experience MacBook trackpad issues, such as when it does not click or respond.

#MAGIC TRACKPAD GESTURES MAC MAC#

You can use the Mac trackpad gestures to click, tap, swipe, slide, open Notification Center, and more. I’ve lost none of the multi-button powers of my mouse, and the added gesture-specific features of the Magic Trackpad let me do even more with it than I could with my mouse.The trackpad on a MacBook is basically an internal mouse with extended functions. My wrist is much happier now that it doesn’t have to flick a mouse across my three connected displays. The tricked-out trackpadįor my needs, I’ve found that this combination of the Magic TrackPad, BetterTouchTool, and some utilities is the perfect mouse replacement. This composite image shows the five tasks assigned to the virtual buttons on my Magic Trackpad. Help Finally, I use the top-right corner to bring up an application’s Help menu-this is done by simply mapping the nearly-universal Help shortcut (Shift-Command-/) to that tap location. This, too, is done via a Butler shortcut that’s mapped into BetterTouchTool. I used Many Tricks’ utility Butler ( ) to define this action and give it a keyboard shortcut, which I then mapped in BetterTouchTool.Ī Google search window A bottom-right tap displays a Google Web search window, so I can submit Google searches without first switching to my browser. Often-used folders A bottom-left tap brings up a hierarchical menu containing my often-used folders, so I can quickly drill down and open any of my most-used files. This (along with my existing utilities) would allow me to replicate the functionality of my multi-button mouse while gaining the gesture features of the Magic Trackpad. For me, the key feature was the ability to assign actions to newly-available gestures. It even lets you assign various actions to keyboard shortcuts. In addition to its not-yet-final support for the Magic Trackpad, BetterTouchTool works with many third-party trackpads and Apple’s Magic Mouse. The BetterTouchTool utility allows you to define your own gestures and actions. (Haven’t seen gestures before? Check out this video demonstrating them on a MacBook trackpad.)īut then I stumbled across Andreas Hegenberg’s BetterTouchTool (donation requested). Giving all that up, to simply gain gesture support on a slick-looking input device just wasn’t worth it in my book. With those buttons, and some help from various utilities, my mouse handled a variety of tasks, including drilling down into Finder folders, searching the Web, displaying a program’s menus at the mouse location, and switching between all my open windows. While gesture support seemed useful on my desktop Mac Pro, I wasn’t willing to give up on my mouse (a Razer DeathAdder) and its five customized buttons. When Apple first released the Magic Trackpad($69 ), my initial response was something of a yawn.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

chapter three - Chapter Four: Madripoor - chapter five

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky pay an eventful visit to Helmut Zemo in Berlin, heading to Madripoor soon after to get answers about the serum.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: spoilers for episode.3, angst, violence, description of injuries, a few crumbs for the slow burn, breaking the law and looking good doing it

A/N: These chapters always end up being so long lol. I was going to include the nightclub scene but it would’ve made it too long so sorry, it’ll have to wait a few more days. Forgive my shitty Russian translations, I’m on Google Translate and that’s not saying a lot. 

----

“Not that it makes a difference, but I still don’t like this.” I’d voiced my displeasure about meeting with Zemo several times since we’d arrived in Germany. Even though we were already being led through the high security Berlin prison hallways, I still felt the urge to state my opinion. 

The guard that was guiding us gestured towards a door, “He’s just through the corridor.”

“Give us a sec,” Bucky said, the three of us coming to a halt in the middle of the hall. “I’m gonna go in alone.” “Why?” Sam asked.

“You’re an Avenger, you know how he feels about that,” Bucky looked to me, “You, I’m trying to keep as far away from him as possible.”

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together,” Sam remarked.

“I’m gonna say it again,” I took an assertive step forward, “I don’t like this.”

“He was obsessed with HYDRA,” Bucky pushed, “We have a history together. Trust me, I got it.”

Taking my cue from Sam, who didn’t fight him any more, I nervously watched Bucky stalk down the hallway to the corridor that led to our possible next step.

“Is he really okay?” I asked, watching Bucky’s figure until he disappeared, “I feel like we’re going a little too far with this.” “He’s invested, which means he’s desperate,” Sam answered, leaning his back against the wall, “This is a little too much though.” 

I copied his posture and we stood in silence, the occasional guard passing by. “What happened last night after I left the room? C’mon, you come out crying and you thought I was gonna let it go?” “Bucky and I were just…” I sighed, remembering the change that had happened between our two conversations, “Learning to get along. I told him about Steve, that’s never fun to relive.” “Ah,” Sam nodded, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Hm?” “You’re not mad at me that I gave up the shield, are you?”

My brows knitted together as I looked over at him, “Why would I be mad? Your decision wouldn’t have changed even if I was, would it?” “No, it wouldn’t have. But you were close to Steve too, you care about his legacy,” he went on, “We’re all angry about Walker. I don’t care if Bucky’s upset at me, but I always care if you are.” “Someone ever tell you you care too much sometimes?” I playfully nudged his sneaker with my own, “Of course I’m not mad, you know I support you no matter what. You made the right decision for you and you have nothing to apologize for. Bucky and even Steve don’t need to understand why you chose to give it up. Would it have been cool to say that my brother is Captain America?” I coaxed a laugh out of him, “Of course, but it doesn’t change how I see you. I’m just proud to say my brother is Sam Wilson.” He poked me with his elbow and smiled, “Now I remember why I keep you around.” “Y/n Y/l/n, Falcon’s Ego Booster.” We were sharing a laugh when Bucky came back around the corner. “That was quick,” I observed. He’d been in there five minutes tops.

“We’ve got our next stop.”

————

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam questioned in the dark, “Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?”

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky replied, shining his flashlight around to try and find the power switch. I couldn’t clearly make out where he had brought us to, he’d brought us through the back door of the building. “So because we’ve hit one dead end, you want to spring one of the most dangerous men in the world out of prison?” I asked, shining my flashlight at Bucky causing him to throw a hand up to shield his eyes, “Bucky, I don’t-“ “Like this,” he finished, “I got that, but we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on the loose.” “Zemo’s gonna miss with our minds, especially yours,” Sam interjected, “No offense.” I made out Bucky’s silhouette reaching up a beam, a loud click of a switch and the lights began to turn on. “Offense,” he scowled.

With the lights on, we could finally see that we were in an auto shop. I was glad to be out of the prison but I wasn’t seeing the correlation between it and freeing Zemo.

“Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in,” Bucky continued, “He is crazy, but he still has a code.” “I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you,” Sam countered, I’d heard in detail about the havoc Zemo had caused and the ramifications of his actions had caused Sam and Steve to become fugitives. Never mind what he’d done to Bucky…”He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question, they didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

Bucky stood in front of us now, “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are,” Sam turned his back in frustration, “Look, let me just walk you two through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“What did you do?” Sam asked suspiciously, turning halfway to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“I didn’t…” Bucky’s looked away briefly, “Do anything.”

“Then by all means,” I leaned up against a beam and crossed my arms, not believing him at all, “Let’s ride the hypothetical train.” Bucky frowned at my sarcasm before launching into it, “The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.” “So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated, someone could use the chaos to their advantage.”

“My gut is sounding off every alarm it has right now,” I commented from my place across from Bucky.

“Yeah, I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this, this is unnatural,” Sam replied finally, “Are you- and where are we, man?” A nearby door closing caused us to turn our attention towards it, a silhouette appearing soon after through a curtain. The shadow became a man and walked through the cloth divider wearing the face I’d had etched in my brain since the day it hit the news.

“You son of a bitch,” I mumbled, creating a ball of energy quickly with my hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam’s voice rose, walking with me towards the man, “What are you doin’ here?” Bucky was quick to throw himself in front of us, “No, listen. I didn’t want to tell you ‘cause I knew neither of you would let this happen.” “What the hell did you do?” I exclaimed.

“We need him,” Bucky said. Sam pointed to Zemo, “You’re going back to prison!”

“If I may,” the Sokovian man began, removing the hat of his stolen prison guard uniform.

“NO!” the three of us yelled at the same time. He hung his head, “Apologies…” Bucky turned back to Sam, “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me,” when Sam averted his gaze, Bucky chased it, “I’m asking you to do it again.” 

“And what about her?” Sam gestured to me and the ball of energy I still had formed in my palms, “What happens when she breaks the law?” Bucky’s pleading eyes drifted to me, “He’s our only shot at getting any answers.” My mind was wrestling with itself, his rightness was inevitably going to come at a cost we would all have to pay. On a technicality, yes, I could plead innocent to freeing Zemo. A coconspirator charge, I wouldn’t be so lucky with. But stopping the Flag Smashers meant saving lives and that wasn’t something I could walk away from. I deformed the energy in my hands in cautious surrender, “I’m already breakin’ the law by going against the accords, I need to make it worth it at least.” Sam shot me an exasperated glance, but he didn’t fight me.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” Zemo began from his corner.

“Shut up…” Sam warned, effectively shutting him up. Sam thought it all over for a second before pressing his flashlight to Bucky’s chest, “Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Zemo shrugged, “Fair.”

The three of us shared an uneasy look, there was no going back now. “Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“Follow me,” he smiled, leading the way out of the auto shop and expecting us to follow. Sam went first, eager to keep his eye on Zemo at all times while Bucky and I brought up the rear.

“I didn’t want to have to go this route,” he said from beside me as if he owed me some explanation for his actions. I sighed, trying to shut off the part of my brain that was screaming at me, “Just be right.”

We maneuvered through a few corridors until we hit a room filled with beautiful antique cars. “So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam asked. “These are mine,” Zemo corrected, “Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…like the Avengers,” he dug through one of the cars to pull out a bag and coat, “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished.” My eyes unavoidably flickered to Bucky, observing his reaction to hearing his old code name. He simply watched the man continue speaking. “To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started…” Sam commented.

“First stop is a woman named Selby,” Zemo stated as he headed for the exit, “Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” 

Sam, Bucky and I left a gaping distance between us and him, we were still highly suspicious and I had a feeling we would be until our temporary partnership came to an end.

————

Zemo had gotten word to somebody that we’d be meeting them at a private airport in Berlin and flying to someplace called Madripoor. Somehow we’d made the journey without being recognized, even those of us who were wanted across the globe. “So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asked as we made our way towards the private plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam,” Zemo answered, “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” 

Zemo greeted the man standing outside the plane, who was dressed like a butler, in Sokovian. “Well,” I crossed my arms and watched one of the world’s most dangerous men exchange cheek kisses, “If we’re going to work with a criminal, at least we picked one that comes with transportation.” “Please,” Zemo said, gesturing for us to follow him up the plane’s steps. Sam awkwardly bowed to the butler and headed up. Bucky extended a hand towards the jet for me to go ahead of him before following closely behind.

When we filed into the plane, Sam and Zemo were already seated. I moved to take the chair across from the baron, wanting to keep as close an eye on him as I could. Bucky’s flesh arm reached out quickly and grabbed my shoulder, I turned to question him and met his wary expression. “Sit with Sam,” he muttered quietly, our faces close enough that I could feel his breath as he’d spoken. It dawned on me that he wanted me to have the safer position. I answered with a nod, maneuvering around him to sit across from Sam. Even though his hand had left my arm, I could still feel its print through my jacket.

We had been flying for maybe twenty minutes when Zemo’s butler, Oeznik, came in carrying a glass of champagne for Zemo and offering to whip up some food. It astounded me how to the world, he was evil yet to his servants, he was a joy. “You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell,” the baron said before looking over at my brother, “Oh, that’s right. You do.”

Sam bypassed the jab remarkably, “Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?”

“I’m sorry, I was just fascinated by this,” Zemo held up a book, “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?”

Not two seconds after the name had left his lips, Bucky out of his seat with his metal hand wrapped around Zemo’s neck. My heart stopped as I watched him lean over the man threateningly. “If you touch that book again,” he growled, “I’ll kill you.” This was a side of Bucky I had yet to see, the one that straddled the line between his dark past and his true self. As he sat back down, tucking the book in his pocket and refusing to meet my eyes, I could tell he wasn’t pleased with how he’d acted. I wasn’t in a place to criticize but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been slightly worried when his fingers hit Zemo’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” Zemo said, “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” “Don’t push it,” Bucky rasped, collecting himself after the scene.

“I’ve seen that book,” Sam spoke up, “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” “I like ’40’s music,” Bucky shrugged and looked out the window, “So…” “You didn’t like it?” Sam exclaimed.

“I liked it,” Bucky replied unconvincingly.

“It is a masterpiece, James,” Zemo chimed in, his hands forming a triangle, “Complete, comprehensive…It captures the African-American experience.” While my brows raised at the European’s surprising education, Sam’s furrowed. “He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great, everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

Bucky shook his head, “I like Marvin Gaye.” “Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” “He did,” I chuckled, reminiscing back to only last year, “Played him almost anytime I got in a car with him.” “You must have really looked up to Steve,” Zemo said, “But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.” “Watch your step, Zemo…” Sam warned. “They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there,” he shrugged, “Cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” Zemo turned his attention to Bucky, “You remember that, right?” As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” “What’s up with Madripoor?” Sam looked between the two men, “You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago,” Bucky grumbled, “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” “It’s kept its lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves,” Zemo’s unsettling eyes moved back to Bucky, “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” 

With the way Bucky’s expression had changed in mere seconds from complacent to tortured, it didn’t take long to decode what Zemo was insinuating. “No,” I blurted out, “That’s not fair to ask of him.” “I admire your devotion, Y/n,” Zemo complimented with his lips to his champagne flute, taking a quick sip, “But you know nothing of how Madripoor works. If you want to get to Selby, we must have protection. More than that, we must have leverage. James can provide us both by simply playing a part.” “Devo-?” I shook my head, sidestepping Zemo’s comment, “That’s not playing a part, that’s like reliving every nightmare you’ve ever had. I-it’s like-“ “Y/n,” I turned to see Bucky’s chair rotated towards me, looking helpless and determined all at once, “We need in.” “Yeah, but…” I started to protested before seeing his eyes, those ocean blue eyes I was growing to feel comforted by begging me to let the subject go. I clenched my own y/e/c ones shut in frustration, “Okay.” “Now that that’s settled,” Zemo stood from his seat, “I will find us something to change into, we will need to blend in where we’re going.” ——

The silver dress Zemo had chosen for me was…it made me wonder just what kind of scene we were planning to enter. It was more revealing than anything I typically wore, but gorgeous nonetheless and fit perfectly.

As I was finishing my makeup in the bathroom of the plane, I had to take a second to steel myself for what was to come. This wasn’t just dallying with Super Soldiers any more, this was dancing with the criminal underworld. Zemo hadn’t told us yet the roles we were playing, only that we needed to stay in character at all cost. I had never felt more out of my depth, but had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Giving myself one last check in the mirror, I unlocked and exited the bathroom. 

“Okay, I hope whoever I’m playing is bad with heels,” I held up the elaborate shoes Zemo had matched to my dress, “Because there’s no way I’m going to be graceful in these.” Sam looked up from tying his dress shoes, dressed in a maroon suit patterned with yellow circles. His eyes scanned my outfit unapprovingly. “Uh uh,” he protested, going full protective big brother, “Nope. It shows too much.” “It doesn’t matter what it shows,” I said, bending over to strap on the shoes, “It’s what I’ve got.” “She’s right,” Zemo chimed in, putting his jacket on, “You two are supposed to be rich, glamorous travelers of the world. You need to look the part,” he nodded towards me, “You wear it well.” I politely smiled at the baron and looked up to Bucky, perched in the far corner of the jet. His gaze was fixed on me, eyes quickly traveling down my body before quickly locking with mine. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his plush lips parted ever so slightly. I found myself just as drawn into him as he seemed to be with me, for a few seconds it was just the two of us shutting our surroundings out. It was…something. “You look nice,” Bucky finally said, his voice slightly strained.

My lips quirked upwards, “Thanks.” “It is time for us to leave,” Zemo announced, bursting the bubble Bucky and I had built, “You’d better get used to those shoes quickly, we’ll be making most of the journey by foot.” He hadn’t been lying. We departed the runway and walked our way towards the city. Madripoor looked beautiful on the outside, the high-rise buildings lit up in all different colors emitting a glow across the waters. 

“We have to do something about this,” Sam finally exclaimed, holding the lapels of his patterned maroon suit, “I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” “If you’re a pimp, what does that make me?” I gestured to the amount of skin I had on display, “Suck it up, Wilson.” “Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp,” Zemo added as we crossed the large bridge leading to the city, “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Sam took Zemo’s phone from his outstretched hand, “He even has a bad nickname.”

I leaned over to look at the picture of Sam’s doppelgänger, “Hey, be nice. That’s your twin you’re talking about.” “And you,” Zemo addressed me, “Conrad is known for entertaining beautiful women, one after the other,” he ignored the faces of disgust Sam and I made at the thought of acting as a couple, “You will be playing tonight’s date, no need to come up with a name or a story as his dates are typically just arm candy.”

“So I’m supposed to just sit and look pretty?” I side eyed Zemo in annoyance, “Great.” “You smell this?” he asked the group.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked.

“Madripoor,” Zemo answered, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way,” Zemo pointed towards the part of the city I’d been admiring, “Not a bad place if you want to visit, but Low Town’s the other way.” We approached a car waiting for us at the end of the bridge, ready to take us into the darkest part of the city. Bucky, who had remained silent since the plane, climbed into the backseat first while Zemo took the passenger’s side. “Let me guess,” Sam remarked as we moved to get in the car, “We don’t have any friends in High Town.”

“I’m guessing not,” I muttered, ducking into the back seat and sliding till I was pressed against Bucky. He didn’t make a sound, he barely even registered my presence. I was about to ask him if he was alright when I realized what he was doing. We all had our roles to play and Bucky was doing just that. 

Sam climbed in next to me and we took off, me sandwiched between the two men trying to convince myself that I could do this. I could pretend to be someone I wasn’t to get answers, but my nerves was convincing me I was going to mess it up for us. No margin for error, Zemo’s words bounced around in my brain. He’d said our lives depended on it. They depended on whether or not I could keep it together. Sam must have sensed my anxiety because I felt his palm slide against my clammy one and squeeze. I sent a shaky one back, taking what comfort I could that I didn’t have to do this alone.

We were escorted in by a motorcade till we got to the seedier part of the city, the bridge we parked under painted with graffiti. Sam helped me out of the car and Zemo took our group through the back way into the city. As we crossed the overhead bridge, looking down into the city, I began to feel like my life had suddenly become some fever dream. Even more so once we entered the city and I was surrounded by people from all walks of life. Smugglers were making deals, guards were stationed outside buildings with machine guns, forgers were trying to sell to people. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Sam kept me on his arm the entire time, selling our characters while still retaining his protective nature. We followed Zemo into a crowded bar, weaving our way through. “Here we are,” he announced quietly, our fellow patrons took notice as soon as they caught sight of Bucky, “Gotov podchinit'sya, zimniy soldat?” (Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?)

I tried my best to keep my face neutral, though an unwelcome chill went down my spine as Zemo began his act. It was wrong. It wasn’t fair to Bucky or his recovery to make him do this.

We approached the bar and the bartender came over immediately, “Hello, gentlemen. Ma’am. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” “His plans changed,” Zemo explained, “We have business to do with Selby.”

The bartender looked over suspiciously at Sam, “The usual?” Sam nodded casually in response and the man walked away to begin prepping the drink. What took us by surprise was when he reached for a jar containing a dead snake rather than the bottle of alcohol. He proceeded to lay the reptile on a cutting board and slice its stomach open, I looked up to Sam who was doing his best to keep his composure. “Ah, Smiling Tiger,” Zemo jeered, “Your favorite.”

The bartender removed a piece of the snake’s guts and sunk it into a shot glass filled with vodka. I covered my mouth with my clutch to conceal my delight at the sight I was about to behold. Sam caught the action and addressed the bartender, “You know what? She’ll have one too.” “Oh, no, I don’t think so,” I quickly protested, waving it off as if it were a shot of tequila and not an animal intestine.

“No, girl, I insist,” Sam grinned phonily at me.

“They actually upset my stomach,” I giggled, glancing to the bartender, “Can’t hold my liquor to save my life, I’ll be up all night sick if it touches my lips. But you enjoy, sweetheart.” The bartender didn’t pay much attention to the exchange as he set the shot glass in front of Sam, who looked unconvincingly between the glass and Zemo. “I love these,” he stated, holding it up for us all to see.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo clinked his glass against Sam’s.

Sam made several, hopefully convincing, noises of excitement about his drink. After giving it one last look, he shot it straight down, holding a thumbs up to the bartender afterwards.

“How badly are you trying not to throw up right now?” I whispered after the man had left.

“I can’t even hear you right now,” Sam replied in a strained voice, focusing on keeping the drink where it needed to be. An intimidating bearded man made us all turn around, he looked to Zemo. “I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

Zemo, ever the cool and collected presence, turned to the man. “I have no business with the Power Broker. But if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo gestured to Bucky, standing at his side. 

“New haircut?” the man asked Bucky, who stayed silent.

“Or bring Selby for a chat,” Zemo finished.

The man left, leaving us with questions. “A power broker?” Bucky grumbled, “Really?” “Every kingdom needs its king,” Zemo replied, “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.” 

“Do you know him?” Sam inconspicuously asked. “Only be reputation the baron answered, “In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner.”

I spotted another man approaching us, this one walking with a purpose. Zemo looked to Bucky, the show was about to start. “Zimniy Soldat,” Bucky nodded once, “Attask.” (Winter Soldier, attack.) As soon as the stranger thumped Zemo’s shoulder, Bucky sprang to action, his metal hand grabbing and twisting the man’s arm. He pushed him to the center of the room where he proceeded to twist it further before dropping him to the ground. The groans coming from him were sickening as he lay helpless, clutching his most likely broken arm. As another patron came up to attack, Bucky moved fast to disarm him before power kicking him into a table several times. I clung to Sam’s arm even tighter as Zemo shoved someone forward for Bucky to punch, sending him sliding across the floor. 

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo slyly observed, from my side. It took everything in me not to send him flying across the room right then. He was enjoying this.

When Bucky lifted a man by his throat and slammed him down on the bar was when guns all over the bar were cocked. Sam grabbed onto Bucky’s metal arm, ready to pull him back to us and to reality. “Stay in character,” Zemo whispered, dead serious, “Or the whole bar turns on us.” Sam dropped his arm as Zemo leaned into Bucky, “Molodets, soldat.” (Well done, soldier.)

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said, watching the scene in awe. Bucky slowly let the man go, gasping and groaning for air once he was freed. Sam looked over warily, “You good?” When Bucky faced us, his eyes met mine before they met Sam’s. I wished I could have concealed my reaction better for his sake, but the second he had attacked was the first time since we’d met that I’d been properly scared of him. It made the incident on the plane look like nothing. My mind knew he was just acting, pretending to be someone he once was for the sake of furthering our mission. But my blood ran just as cold with fear as it would have if the Winter Soldier was standing in front of me. Bucky’s eyes now were watery, filled with pain that he’d worked hard with his therapist to get through, now being brought back to life. Had the bar not been watching and had I not needed to stick with Sam, I’d have been at his side trying to make sure he was alright. Instead, I could only watch as he sniffled, nodded to Sam and followed Zemo to wherever we were going next.

We were escorted upstairs through a series of hallways with a heavily armed guard following us. A white haired woman sat in the middle of the room we were led to, tapping her fingers against the couch she lounged on. “You should know, Baron, people don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Zemo smiled, “Not a demand. An offer.”

Sam and I took our places standing next to Selby, Bucky stood watch across from us, back in his act. 

“A lot has changed since you were here last,” Selby spared a look at Bucky, “By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” 

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugged, “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.” 

Selby pointed a blind finger towards Sam, “You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger,” she eyed Sam suggestively and gave him a purr before turning her attention to me, “And what a lovely little dish you’ve got with you.” Internally I was struggling to stay calm and had never felt more exposed with the thin materiel of the dress over my body. “What’s the offer?” Selby grinned at Zemo.

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum,” Zemo replied, rising from his seat to circle Bucky, “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want,” Zemo rubbed Bucky’s chin, playing with it to provoke him but knowing he could get away with it. I felt sick to my stomach.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember,” Selby approved, “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

I squeezed Sam’s arm, we were getting answers. The crazy, chaotic plan was actually working. “Is Nagal still in Madripoor?” Zemo asked.

“Oh, the bread crumbs you can have for free,” Selby’s flirtatious demeanor shifted as she stood to business-like, “But the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.” 

A sudden vibration tickled my arm from Sam’s suit pocket, it was his cell phone. He pulled it out hesitantly and looked down at it, I glanced over to see that it was Sarah calling.

“Answer it,” Selby ordered, Bucky had moved behind her to give us protection if need be, “On speaker.” The armed bodyguards moved in closer, it was clear we had no say in the matter. Sam unlocked his phone and pressed the speaker button, “Hello?” “Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation,” Sarah’s voice filled the air, sending an all too brief wave of peace through me, “It’s been drivin’ me nuts.” 

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam replied stiffly. “Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.”

“What situation, Sarah?” Sam’s voice grew louder, “Say it.”

“The damn boat,” Sarah replied just as hard, “And watch your tone, okay? I let you slide at the bank.”

Sarah. The boat. Home. And here I was standing in a designer dress meeting with Indonesian crime bosses. Two unbelievable worlds were colliding on the call.

Sam scoffed and nervously chuckling, “Yeah, the bank. Laundered so much, yeah, they’ll come around.” “If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?”

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see,” Sam paused menacingly, “When I have that banker killed.”

We almost had Selby convinced as I watched her pace around the room, we were so close to- “Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this!” Sarah yelled, “Sam, I’m sorry. Let me call you back, and make sure Y/n is with you too.” “Sam? Y/n?” Selby echoed the names, “Who are you? Kill them!”

A second after she had given the order, a bullet shot through the nearby window and struck her chest fatally. The four of us sprung to action, Sam landing punches on the guard stationed behind us while I used my energy to pull the machine gun from his grasp. Across from us, Bucky took care of the other guard. I handed the weapon to Sam and we took our positions in the back of the room, ready to retaliate against the hidden assassin. “They’re gonna pin this on us,” Sam panted, our backs against the wall.

“We have a real problem now,” Zemo said, unbelievably calm for someone in our situation, “So leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Bucky ripped the lock on the back door and the four of us filed down the staircase quick as we could. It dropped us back off in the middle of the city, we hurriedly made our way down the street where all heads were turning to us. “This is not good,” Zemo hurried. The words hung in the air for a grand total of five seconds before bullets started to rain down around us. Bucky, Sam and I tore down the street where in the chaos, Zemo took off in another direction.

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam yelled over the gunfire. “Oh, I don’t wanna hear it,” I exclaimed, struggling to keep up with them in my stilettos, “Screw it!”

I threw my hands out to my side and lifted off the ground, keeping low enough to dodge any shots but stay close to Sam and Bucky. Two motorcycles sped after us promising more bounty hunters, Zemo caught up with us and killed two lone gunmen hiding behind a dumpster. Two perfectly aimed bullets came out of nowhere and lodged themselves in the heads of the cyclists chasing us.

“You seem to have a guardian angel,” Zemo observed as the three of us looked around for our savior.

“Well, this is too perfect,” a woman’s voice said, she appeared seconds later drawing back her hood and pointing a gun toward us, “Drop it, Zemo.”

Bucky stepped forward disbelievingly, “Sharon?” Sharon Carter. I recognized her only from the pictures I’d seen of her on the news when the shitstorm that branded her an enemy of the state went down. As she strode forward, ready to strike down the man responsible, I couldn’t say with certainty if she was an ally or not. “You cost me everything,” she seethed.

“Sharon, wait,” Sam, ever the steady presence, held a hand out and carefully came towards her, “Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” “Well, that explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.”

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” she answered, her face contorting, “I also took the wings for your ass,” she aimed her gun at Sam, “So that you could save his ass,” then at Bucky, “From his ass,” the gun landed on me after Zemo, “Your ass is new.” “I’ve had one hell of an initiation, trust me,” I replied, standing my ground between Bucky and Zemo.

Sharon turned back towards Sam, “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up so I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Don’t blow that smoke at me, I was on the run, too,” Sam recalled. “Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore,” Sharon shook her head sadly, “I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen, Sharon,” Bucky stepped forward, “We need your help. Please.” Sharon mirthlessly chuckled to herself, sighing afterwards as she made her decision. “This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

While Sam roughly shoved Zemo forward to keep him in his line of sight, Bucky pressed a gentle hand to the small of my back to act as a guide through the dark alleyways. “You okay?” he asked quietly, quickly looking over at me. With everything he’d gone through in the last twenty minutes, the fight in the bar, the unshed tears in his eyes, Zemo talking about him like he was property to be traded, I couldn’t understand why he was asking if I was alright. He was what I was concerned with right now. “I will be once I get out of these shoes,” I joked, trying to get him to smile if at all possible. A corner of his lips turned upwards in a blink-and-you’d-miss-it flash, mine doing the same right after in some sort of relief.

Sharon led us to her car parked down a different alley, Sam shoved Zemo in the front seat while him, Bucky and I squeezed in the backseat once again. The difference between Low Town and High Town was visceral, Madripoor may have been dangerous no matter where you went but High Town provided a little more safety. When we arrived at Sharon’s house, greeted by two burly guards, the feeling of protection increased. The first room we entered was filled with artwork, statues and other priceless works that told us exactly what Sharon had done to afford her lifestyle in High Town.

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well,” Sam commented as we walked through the room.

“Well, I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler,” Sharon shrugged, far too goodheartedly for a true criminal, “You know how much I can get for a real Monet?” Sam grinned at his friend, “Deactivate your hustle mood, you sell fake Monets.”

“No, she means real,” Zemo corrected, “This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” “I kinda thought that was implied,” I said, following Sharon and Zemo and beginning to relax in the shockingly calm environment, “No offense.” Sharon scoffed, “None taken, a girl’s gotta do what she can to survive. By the way, who are you?”

“Y/n Y/l/n,” I answered, “Sam’s sister.” “Hmm,” Sharon hummed, looking me over once before turning around to hurry Sam and Bucky along, “Come on, you guys need to change. I’m hosting clients in an hour. You,” she pointed to me, “Second door on your left, I’ll bring something up for you.” At the promise of shedding the over exposing dress and blistering heels, I had never moved faster in my life.

————

I took the opportunity to catch my breath while I could, the night had been a little too exciting than any of us had wanted. Sitting on the edge of Sharon’s bed with my elbows balanced on my knees, I felt the adrenaline rush I’d been running on start to subside.

The door opened, bringing in Sharon and her garment of choice. “This looked like it would fit you,” she said, tossing me a black jumpsuit that looked ten times more comfortable than what I was in. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out an outfit for herself, “I gotta change too, back to back?” “Works for me,” I replied, turning around and beginning to unzip the dress.

“So you said you’re Sam’s sister but your last name isn’t Wilson?” Sharon asked, I could hear the sound of her clothes hitting the floor.

“We grew up together,” I freed myself of the dress and kicked it to the corner of the room.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here though,” she said, “This is probably the shittiest family road trip you could go on so clearly there’s a reason.” I looked over to the wardrobe, a pair of black boots sitting on the floor next to it. I used my energy to levitate them and landed them at Sharon’s side. Her dry chuckle served as her reaction. “I kinda begged him to bring me,” I explained as I pulled the jumpsuit up my body, “He was going to send me back home before John Walker decided to not so subtly threaten me with the Sokovian Accords, figured I’d be safer here with them.” “Safer?” Sharon scoffed, “Did he say this before or after you were being shot at by bounty hunters?”

“Well, between getting shipped off to jail and going undercover with a superhero and a Super Soldier as protection, I’ll take my chances here.” I heard Sharon walk away, presumably finished dressing. I zipped up the suit and tightened the belt, turning around after to find her leaned up against her dresser with her hands in her pockets. “Look, I know we just met but let me do you a favor and shed some light on the subject of heroics. It’s all bullshit. The whole costume, nickname, swoop-in-and-save-the-day act is all hypocrisy. I get that you’re young, you’ve got,” she waved a hand at mine, “Whatever that is. Maybe you want to do some good, maybe you just want to feel like you’re a part of something. Maybe you didn’t think it through at all and just thought it would be cool to run with a superhero. But if you’re smart, you’ll get your ass on a plane to anywhere but here and stay clear of all this.”

There was so much going through my head that I wanted to throw back at her, proving her speech completely wrong. Then I remembered that this woman had sacrificed more than most had and the government had turned their backs on her. She’d stuck her neck out for Steve and Sam and had been punished for it. Plus, she was kind enough to give us refuge when she had every right now to. I wasn’t in a place to criticize her. If anything, she should have been a cautionary tale. “I’ve had these powers all my life and have never known what to do with them,” I responded, “I want to help people and this is the best way for me to do that. As easy as it would be for some people to walk away, this is personal and I can’t leave now.” Sharon stared back at me silently before pushing herself off the dresser and brushing past me. There were layers of her expression, if I could peel each one back I thought I might get to the sadness I suspected she felt regarding her current life status. She opened her wardrobe, pulled out a pair of combat boots and handed them to me. “Then take a step back and ask yourself how far you’re willing to go. And if the three of you live long enough to get there, is it going to be worth the hell that’ll come afterwards?” She gave me a half smile before leaving the room, her heavy words hanging in the air. Steve had been my friend, Sam was my brother and Bucky was quickly climbing the ranks of people I cared about. I was going to see this through to the end with them, but what was the end? Was it retrieving the rest of the serum and stopping the Flag Smashers? Was it only two of us returning? One? None? Questions I didn’t have the answers to swirled in my mind as I stared at the door, wondering what awaited us for the rest of the night.

----

A/N: Next chapter is going to be...let’s just say there’s gonna be a lot of developments. A lot. Hope you guys are enjoying it, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged.

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlypotterwhodiaries @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @zozebo​ @fandomxreaders​ @kittengirl998​ @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​

[comicaurora]

Because it's currently screwing up my week, I gotta ask you: have you done practice comics before Aurora? How did you prep for it in general?

I absolutely drew practice comics before Aurora. Nothing I ever published anywhere, but I had a few short digital comics, mostly unconnected shorts from Aurora, with one notable exception where I translated a scene from Midsummer Night's Dream into comic form for a class assignment. Before the digital art I had pages and pages in sketchbooks doodled in comic format, some as far back as first grade - the ones that early had nothing to do with Aurora and were mostly superhero-related. I even tried to do a newspaper-comic-style 4-panel format for a while, and I spent one summer in my early teens inspired by What's New With Phil And Dixie (an early comic done by Phil Foglio, creator of the comic-turned-webcomic Girl Genius, which was basically a full-page "gaming news" comic from the age before videogames dominated that conversation and was mostly focused on Magic: The Gathering) doodling comics about Warhammer 40K. Had a brief stint junior year doodling full-page comic-ifications of particularly impactful Doctor Who scenes in my composition notebooks in the back of class. None of it was good, but it was definitely good practice, at least conceptually and for fleshing out a visual and narrative style.

Prepping for actually releasing Aurora didn't involve too many practice comics, but at that point I was already very familiar with the software and tablet hardware I was going to use, as well as the medium of comics in general. That was probably the most important thing to nail down, since otherwise I was going to be learning on my feet more than I had to. At that point I felt like practice comics would just be me stalling, honestly - giving me time to overthink or second-guess myself when I already knew I was going to be learning as I went and I'd done all the preparation I could reasonably do from the outside. There's only so much you can know about what a project is going to look like before you've started it, and you can't frontload all the preparation for the work when you don't know what you're going to need to work on.

I think the sketchy practice comics helped, but probably not as substantively as binge-reading comics did. Newspaper comics, four-panel and full-page comics, superhero comics old and new, Scary Godmother, Asterix, Tintin, Calvin And Hobbes, Usagi Yojimbo, Akiko, Girl Genius, Elfquest, Astro City, W.I.T.C.H., Ranma 1/2, several tragically short-lived manga series running for four chapters each in Shonen Jump - zero consistency in style or layout, no genre limitations, just a really good sweeping awareness of what comics as a medium could look like. Getting a feel for that almost certainly helped me get a running start.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Power Broker - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter Three (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: Zemo & you had a history. That did not stop you from following him. Much to your dismay. Madripoor. That was where you were headed. You would see what awaited you there.

Words: 11,979

Warnings: language, violence, injury, blood, angst, sarcasm, humor, sass, Zemo being himself (help, I love him), cute & protective Bucky, fluff, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Berlin. You would so regret the decision to really do this. It was no secret that you did not agree with Bucky’s plan. At all. The three of you followed a guard down a white hallway. The atmosphere here was everything but comfortable.

“He’s just through that corridor.” his thick, German accent came through. He left the three of you alone.

“Alright, I’m gonna go in alone.” Bucky started. Your eyes widened at that.

“Why?” thank you, Sam. An explanation was needed here.

“’Cause you’re an Avenger. You know how he feels about that.” you silently observed the conversation between the two men in front of you. If it got out of hand, you would intervene.

“It’s not like you two were known for frocklin’ in the sun together.” if it were not for the situation to be this serious you would have actually laughed at that. Not the right timing.

“He was obsessed with HYDRA. We have a history together. Trust me. I got it.” the moment Bucky wanted to walk away, you spoke up.

“Uh, I hate to interrupt…” you stopped briefly when two pairs of eyes stared at you. “But you’re not the only person to have a history with him, you know that, right?” your eyebrows raised in question. The super soldier simply rolled his eyes at you. He knew what you were trying to do.

“You don’t like him.” Bucky reasoned.

“And you do?” you shot back, arms crossing over your chest. He sighed out & put his hands on his hips. “That’s what I thought. Let me come with you.” slow & steady words left you.

“I won’t let you, (Y/N). That’s something I have to do alone.” your mouth opened to argue with him. Something he stopped right away. “And you can’t change my mind.”

“Sam.” you eyed the man next to you, waiting for him to reveal his opinion. He simply shrugged & motioned for Bucky to go ahead. Great. Back facing them, you took deep breaths to calm yourself down. Sometimes, you were so done with both of them.

“Why did you let him go in alone, Sam?” you started the conversation when Bucky was out of view.

“Because it was his idea in the first place.” he gestured.

“Sure & it was such an incredible idea that we didn’t even have to overthink it.” rolling your eyes, Sam kept staring at you in confusion.

“Wait…You said you had a history with Zemo.” Sam pieced everything together. At least he thought he did.

“So?”

“You didn’t like…fondue, did you?” Sam was careful while asking this question.

“Oh my God, could you not?” throwing your arms up, you covered your face with your hands. “No, we did not, Sam.”

“What kinda history do you two have then?” you could not even blame him for being curious. If you were in his position, you would ask the exact same question.

“It’s not important. Just…don’t bring it up again, okay? Please.” your (Y/E/C) eyes locked with his. The sincerity was shown through them. Whatever happened, Sam did not want to mess with you. After all, it looked like it really bothered you.

“What are you talking about you wanna break Zemo outta jail? Where the hell are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?” the three of you were walking inside a barely lit room & Sam did not take the news of Bucky wanting Zemo’s help all too well. Was it the right time to tell him “I told you so.”? Whatever, you decided to keep it to yourself.

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing.” Bucky pointed out. Yeah, because you had not had enough time for research.

“Yeah, what we have is one of the most dangerous men of the world behind bars.” Sam clapped back.

“If you think Zemo is one of the most dangerous men then I’m really sorry for you, Wilson. Clearly you’ve never really met him.” your flashlight was not helping you to find your way through this room a lot.

“It depends, (Y/N)…” Bucky mumbled. “But we also have eight super soldiers on the loose.”

“Zemo is gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense. And (Y/N)? After our little talk, I don’t know what to think anymore.” Wilson looked into your eyes, as much as it was possible in the dark.

“Didn’t I tell you to not bring it up?” you growled out quietly.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky turned around to face you two. A shrug was enough to brush him off for now. Though, you expected more questions to follow soon. Finally, light illuminated the room & you could abandon your flashlights. “Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code.”

“Bold of you to assume that this man believes in anything, Buck.” looking around, it seemed like you were in some sort of a garage? You were not entirely sure.

“What (Y/N) said. I’ve been on the wrong side of that code, guys, & so have you.” Sam tried to talk some sense into Bucky but it was useless. “He blew up the U.N., he killed King T’Chaka & framed you for it, Bucky. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it?” he had a point. “It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but, come on, it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

“Sam, we don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are.”

“Because we haven’t had enough time to research.” you chimed in. “We just need some more time.”

“More time won’t change anything.” Bucky raised his voice slightly. Not enough for you to flinch back, though. “Look, let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“This doesn’t sound good.” you said at the same time as Sam spoke up.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Bucky stated. Raising your eyebrows, you saw right through him.

“That’s his “I did something.” stare, Sam.” you leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear. Your voice got a little louder again. “So Bucky, tell us what you didn’t do, will ya?”

“The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.”

“So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked another good question.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t think I even wanna know.” you shook your head & put your face into one of your hands.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…” Bucky’s look left you with an uneasy feeling.

“Bucky.” you let out a warning growl. Whatever would follow, it would be everything but good.

“But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, & with all those bodies flying around left & right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated…someone could use the chaos to their advantage.” Bucky finished.

“Um, I don’t know about you, but the fact that you could describe all of it so detailed without even having to stop for a second to think about your next words is truly scary.” your eyes rolled because deep down, you knew that this was not just hypothetical.

“I have to agree with (Y/N). This is unnatural. Are you…And where are we, man?” at least Sam was on your side this time. A door opening in the distance caught your attention. A threat? But before you could start your flames, a familiar face showed up. Oh no.

“Woah.” Sam breathed out, immediately going into fight mode.

“No, listen.” but Sam did not listen. You, on the other hand, tried to stay hidden behind the two men.

“What are you doin’ here?” really, Sam? Bucky literally told you like a minute ago. Sam went to attack but he was held back.

“I didn’t tell ‘cause I knew you guys wouldn’t let this happen.” damn right he was. You would have done everything to stop it.

“What did you do?” Sam’s voice got a few octaves higher.

“We need him, Sam.” scoffing quietly at that, you eyed the situation carefully. It was not part of your plan to meet him again. Not ever, for that matter.

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam was really heated right now, you could tell.

“If I may…” there was his voice. The one you had not heard in so long.

“NO!” Sam & Bucky yelled in union.

“Apologies.” you were pretty sure that they did not hear it. Slowly, you made your way out of your hiding spot. Zemo saw a dark figure approaching, silhouette way too familiar. His eyes widened at your sight. Nobody told him that you were here as well.

“(Y/N)?” his voice, barely above a whisper, broke the two arguing men out of their discussion.

“Zemo.” you nodded at him, feet dragging you closer to Bucky where you felt safe.

“Long time no see.” he stood his ground, sensing that you were uncomfortable. Because, unfortunately, he knew you better than you would have liked to admit.

“Not long enough.” you countered & he scoffed at you. “Hey Bucky?” he turned to you, that threatening smile on your face. The one everyone you were close to feared. “What the actual fuck?”

“(Y/N).” Bucky sighed in frustration. “Let me explain.”

“Sure thing, go ahead…”

“When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law & you stuck your neck out for me.” the super soldier made sure that his words reached the both of you.

“And I would do it again. As would Sam.” you answered without a second thought. Yet, his next words caught you off guard.

“I’m asking you to do it again.” Bucky’s voice got lower, signaling that he was serious about this.

“I didn’t mean it so figuratively, dude.” you desperately breathed out.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” but you gave Zemo no chance to finish whatever thought his sick brain had formed.

“Shut the fuck up.” you snarled through gritted teeth. His arms raised in defense.

“Okay.” Sam stated after a few seconds of silence.

“Okay? What do you mean “Okay.”?” you expected a lot of things but you definitely did not expect Sam to be okay with this. “It’s bad enough I have to work with you two children. But him? Don’t do this to me, guys.” you whined like you were a little child yourself. Sam rolled his eyes at your behavior.

“How kind of you, (Y/N).” Zemo sarcastically added.

“If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Wilson looked at him with that stare of his that usually made you shut up in an instant.

“Sam? You do know who you’re talking to, right?” one of your eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I do.”

“Good, just wanted to check.” your tight lipped smile did not need another comment.

“Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“(Y/N)?” Can we talk for a second?” Bucky dragged you away before you could give him a proper response. When he was sure that neither Sam nor Zemo could hear you anymore, he continued. “What’s going on?”

“Funny enough, I wanted to ask you the exact same question.” your sarcasm was more than obvious right now.

“You & Zemo?” his face was incredibly close to yours but not in a good way. No, he was mad at you even though you should be the one being mad at him.

“I didn’t help him break out, don’t you dare blame me now.” you shoved him back, not with much force, just enough so he stepped back.

“What kinda history do you have?” his voice was a little softer now, though you did not know why.

“There’s a reason I haven’t told you about any of this, Buck.” sighing exaggeratedly. “We have a history. So what? I don’t like him, okay? I don’t. Why do you care anyway?”

“So there was nothing between you two?”

“What the hell? No, of course not. Sam asking that? Okay, I get it. But you? Do you really think so little of me? Bucky, since when don’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. Just, you’ve only mentioned him to me a few times.”

“And I have damn good reasons why.” one of your hands made its way to Bucky’s shoulder in order to catch his attention. When his eyes met yours, you continued. “You have your demons to fight & I have mine. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.” you wanted to turn around & head back to the others but his metal hand grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“You can talk to me, (Y/N). Whatever it is, I’m here for you, too.” a warm smile was enough for him to let you go. Motioning for Bucky to follow you, he trailed behind to go back to Sam & Zemo. Hopefully they had not killed each other yet.

“So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam questioned when the four of you made your way into a big hall filled with cars. So many cars. Why the hell were there so many cars?

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations.” Zemo explained. Sure thing. Sometimes you forgot that he was a Baron. “I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Right, (Y/N)?” he sent you a wink which made you roll your eyes. He pushed your buttons & he damn well knew it. Your heartrate picked up its pace, past memories were flooding your brain. The sudden headache made you stop in your tracks. Bucky turned around when he did not see you walking next to him anymore. He approached you, squeezed your shoulders & tried to get you to look up. It took a few moments but when your head snapped up, a small smile was plastered on your face. A tired one. Bucky could tell as well. Nodding briefly, you began walking again. This time, Bucky stayed close.

“Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…” Zemo rummaged through one of his many cars, searching for God knew what. “…like the Avengers.”

“Remind me to kick your ass if you keep making these pauses for dramatical effect.” Sam & Bucky scoffed at your little threat.

“Almost feels like the good old days, doesn’t it?” he made his way over to you. Instinctively, you scooted closer to Bucky’s side. Getting the message, he wrapped one of his arms around your middle. “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. Not like I left yours, (Y/N).” he teased. Your jaw clenched & you tried your hardest to keep your comments to yourself.

“Can you just cut to the chase?” Bucky spoke up with his deep voice. Zemo looked at you guys & explained further.

“To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“We’ll join the party. We’ve already started.” Sam joined the conversation.

“First stop is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” Zemo walked away, ignoring you entirely. Glancing between Sam & Bucky, you noticed that they were on board with whatever Zemo had planned.

“Oh. Okay. Great.” mumbling out, you followed Zemo & left the others alone. You hated everything about this.

Zemo led you to an airport. Sort of. His private jet. Yes, apparently his Baron title meant a big deal. As an Avenger, you did not even have things similar to what he had. Not that you were complaining. It sure as hell fed his ego, though. Especially with this coat of his that made him look like he really was important.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam gestured with his arms. Gesturing to the huge ass plane right in front of you.

“I’m a Baron, Sam.” because he could not see you, you mimicked his words in a teasing manner. Bucky noticed & tried to hide his laugh with a cough. Without luck. Zemo did not seem to mind. “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.”

“Aw, bummer.” you joked which earned you a death glare from him. Zemo greeted the man waiting for you in Russian. Some words you understood. You grew up with HYDRA, after all.

“Please.” Zemo motioned for you all to follow him inside the plane. Truthfully, you had a bad feeling about this. Somehow, the blind trust Sam & Bucky placed in him left you angry. They knew what he was capable of.

“By the way, I think it’s not fair that I have to sit opposite of him.” your finger pointed to Zemo but your words were directed at Sam & Bucky. The Baron chuckled at you.

“Apologies if that’s a little warm, the fridge is out.” was it his butler? He was now. “But I will see if there is some good food in the galley.” these really were first world problems. Not. Zemo answered something in Sokovian. Something that even made you laugh.

“Wait…What did he say?” Bucky asked you with wide eyes.

“He just confessed that he would like to have your hair, Buck.” Zemo did not correct you but simply chuckled at your words.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell. Oh. That’s right. You do. (Y/N)?” he eyed you, looking at you expectantly.

“What is it my dear Baron?” you rolled your eyes when you answered him.

“Oh, I get all giddy when you call me that…You know, we need to talk.”

“Oh, do we now?” tilting your head, you hoped he would not keep talking. You knew how this would end.

“Maybe not in their company.” he shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe not at all.” you snapped back with venom in your voice. If he did not stop talking then you would make him shut up. Luckily, Sam came to your aid.

“Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” took him long enough to ask that. Hell, you were already on your way.

“I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this.” Zemo opened a book, focusing on whatever words he was reading. “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?” immediately, you jumped up & ripped the small book out of his hands. Handing it to Bucky, you silently checked if he was alright. A small nod confirmed that he was. For now. Your face got closer to Zemo’s.

“You do something like that again & I’ll castrate you with my bare hands. Flames included.” his eyes got a little wider in fear. He had respect but he did not want to show it. “Got it?” he nodded frantically & you shoved him back into his chair, sitting down yourself.

“I’m sorry.” well, at least he was apologizing. Whether he meant it or not did not matter. “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.”

“Don’t push it.” Bucky warned him.

“I’ve seen that book.” Sam joined the conversation. “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” risking a glance at Bucky, he looked outside of the window. Seemingly done with everything right now. Similar emotions were rushing through you.

“I like ‘40s music, so…”

“Oh, stop it, Buck. I’ve seen you throwing it down to Beyoncé.” you teased. Sam & Zemo laughed while Bucky only scoffed.

“I don’t mind Beyoncé.” he defended himself.

“You didn’t like Trouble Man?” Sam acted as if the world was ending. Again.

“I liked it.” he countered.

“It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive.” because apparently, Zemo thought everyone cared about his opinion. “It captures the African-American experience.”

“He’s out of line, but he’s right.” Sam had to admit. “It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“True.” you added quietly.

“I like Marvin Gaye.” Bucky confessed.

“But?” you asked.

“No but.” the super soldier breathed out.

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” Sam was right. The thought brought back a lot of memories.

“You must have really looked up to Steve.” Zemo really was one to push buttons.

“Zemo. Shut it.” your warning growl was deep.

“You’re very protective over James, (Y/N).” he noted.

“So what? You jealous?” you asked, your tone teasing. He simply shook his head & let the topic die. Bucky eyed you carefully when you talked to Zemo. It was true, you were protective whenever it came to him. But that was your personality, right? That was what he told himself. Zemo directed the conversation to Steve again.

“I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s super soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.”

“Watch your step, Zemo.” Sam’s warning would not change anything. After all, you had tried before.

“They become symbols. Icons.” Zemo did not stop. “And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right?” his words were directed at Bucky. Your hand was held out for him to grab. While he eyed it, he did not take it. So you retreated it again. Probably too many people here to watch, you figured. “As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” huh, Madripoor. You had never heard of that before. Was it stupid to follow Zemo there? Most definitely.

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.” sometimes you really appreciated Sam for keeping the cool during such situations. You let your emotions drive your actions most of the time. Something you needed to improve, you knew that.

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago.” looked like Bucky knew about this place. “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.”

“It’s kept its lawless ways.” your head turned to stare at Zemo again. Lawless? Great. “But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” glancing between him & Bucky, you scoffed in hopes that this was a big joke.

“No. No, no, no. Bucky, you won’t go with that, right?” but he only shot you a sympathetic smile. Sam only shrugged. Well, apparently all the guys were against you.

“(Y/N). I expect you will not be happy about the role you have to play.” Zemo’s eyes bore into yours. They held something that left you uneasy. “You will have to become my partner in order to not blow up our cover.” please, let him be joking. The seriousness showed you that he was not. Bucky beat you to speaking up.

“Not gonna happen. Don’t even think about it.”

“Funny how (Y/N) doesn’t want you to play the Winter Soldier & you don’t want her to be my pretend-wife.”

“Guess what, Zemo? I don’t wanna be your pretend-wife.”

“I guess you don’t have much choice.” Zemo stated with a certainty. He was right. You hated it but he was right. A look at Sam & Bucky was enough. It was set. Zemo’s plan was about to happen.

Madripoor was colorful. If it were not for the fact that they lived without any laws here, you would have enjoyed it. Sam changed into a red suit, pretending to be someone called Smiling Tiger. Bucky pretended to be the Winter Soldier. Zemo’s clothes were the same. You wore a beautiful gown that matched Zemo’s colors. It hugged your every curve perfectly. The moment the super soldier first saw you in it took his breath away. You were drop dead gorgeous. Every day, actually. But in this dress? Damn, he was at a loss of words. The four of you walked the streets just like that. In this country, nobody cared. Nobody noticed.

“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” Sam complained about his outfit.

“I don’t know, I think people will dig that.” you nudged him with your elbow. This earned you a light groan & a laugh.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp.” sometimes, you thought Zemo tried everything to sound intellectual. Tried was the word. “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“Sophisticated & charming.” you chuckled. “Not words I’d use to describe you, Wilson.” Sam rolled his eyes at you.

“Smiling Tiger. He even has a bad nickname.” Sam complained. But when he looked at the picture Zemo had shown him, he realized why he had to play pretend to be that guy. “Hell, he does look like me, though.”

“Show me.” Sam held the picture in front of your face. “Damn, you sure that’s not you? Secret identity, maybe?” you wiggled your brows & earned a playful slap from Sam.

“(Y/N), you cannot act like this here.” Zemo held your wrist to make you stop in your tracks. “You are supposed to be the Baron’s dame. Let your guard down & this mission will be for nothing.” usually, you did not care about other people’s opinions. Therefore, Zemo’s words did not affect you at all. Bucky pulled you away from him & shot him a stern stare.

“Stop. Threatening. Her.” Bucky growled. “She’s not new to this job. She knows the way.” Zemo’s hands raised & he took a step back, signaling that he would not do this again.

“You smell this?” Zemo spoke up all of a sudden.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked curiously.

“Madripoor.” wow, what a great answer. Now you knew so much more. You had a lot of sarcastic comebacks but you decided to keep your comments to yourself. “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. (Y/N).” Zemo held his hand out for you to take. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it. His body pulled closer to yours & you wished it would be Bucky who held you close. It would make everything a lot easier. Plastering on a big, fake smile, you tried your hardest to be what he wanted you to be. His dame. You would kill him later, for sure. A car approached you & the four of you got in. Zemo, pretending to be the gentleman, opened the door for you & helped you in. His hands holding your hip in place. He was so dead. After this mission, you would so kill him. His smirk showed you that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Nope. You did not like this town. At all. Loud music. Drugs everywhere. Scary people wherever you looked. And to top everything off, you had to pretend to be utterly in love with Zemo. Now that you were thinking about it, you would have preferred talking to him instead of this whole undercover thing. The four of you found yourselves in the Princess Bar. The name itself would have been repulsive enough for you. But it was all for the job. All to get the job done. Zemo started speaking in Russian. You understood most of it. Someone close to you whispered something about the Winter Soldier being here. They knew him. Of course. People like them did know him. You made your way over to the bar. Your body being uncomfortably close to Zemo’s. Bucky had a role to play but you knew him better than that. Something behind his eyes told you that he hated this as much as you did. Not just him pretending to be the killer he had once been but also you having to play the Baroness.

“Hello gentlemen, m’lady. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” the bartender greeted you.

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” Zemo explained.

“The usual?” obviously, the question referred to your drinks of choice. Unsure how to answer, you let the guys do the talking. In the corner of your eyes, you noticed Sam nodding. Bucky kept his composure. Your eyes widened when the bartender grabbed a very much alive & moving snake from a jar, put it down on the counter & went straight to cutting it open. It took everything in you to not gag but you had to act like none of this faced you.

“Ah.” you assumed Zemo wanted to ease the tension. “Smiling Tiger, your favorite.” oh no, poor Sam. You averted your gaze from the scene in front of you. Instead, your eyes bore into the side profile of the man hugging you close.

“I love these.” Sam commented, referring to the drink in his hand. If all of this was over, you would tease the shit out of him. Now was not the right timing, though.

“Cheers, Conrad.” Zemo clinked his glass with Wilson, then moved on to you. Honestly, you had no idea what kind of liquid your glass held. You knew better than to ask questions. Fingers crossed Sam could down his drink without making it look suspicious. Someone tapped your shoulder. An action which made you turn around. Zemo turned around as well, squeezing your hips as he did so. He was walking on very thin ice. Yet, your smile not even once faltered.

“I got word from up high.” the man talking to you was scary. It would not have bothered you as much if you knew you could use your powers. “You ain’t welcome here.”

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come & talk to me…” he then gestured to Bucky who stood close by, jaw clenched. It had to be hard for him. After all, he wanted to erase the Winter Soldier from his mind. He was the main cause of his nightmares. Zemo would regret his decision to play pretend once you could let your guard down. “Or bring Selby for a chat.” that seemed to do the job. The man left you guys alone again.

“A power broker? Really?” Bucky questioned.

“Every kingdom needs its king.” you had to keep your comment about him killing King T’Chaka to yourself. “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam chimed in.

“Only by reputation. In Madripoor he is judge, jury, & executioner.” suddenly, Zemo began talking in Russian, clearly addressing Bucky. All you could make out was that he was supposed to attack. No. No, no, no. But it was too late. Bucky went straight into action. Fighting his way through the bar. People surrounding you screamed. Some of them put their phones out & you would have loved to just burn the place down. If these videos ever make it to the States? Only the Gods knew what it would do to Bucky. It kind of scared you that the super soldier could pretend so easily. Though, you knew that deep down, he hated every single second of it. With his entire heart. No matter what, you had to talk to him about this later.

“I will kill you for this.” you whispered into Zemo’s ear. A gentle smile on your face when you pulled away again. A smirk was the only response you got.

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” he winked at you. Your jaw clenching was the only way to show how incredibly angry you were. Guns around you started clicking & you turned around only to be met with tons of people circling you. Zemo pulled you closer once again. His next words were directed at you & Sam.

“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.” what a reassuring thing. Zemo praised Bucky in Russian.

“Selby will see you now.” the bartender gave you an approving nod.

“Thank you.” the Baron said. Bucky let go of the person he had held down only a second ago.

“Are you okay?” you could not help but ask, of course only in a whisper. Bucky would not meet your eyes & just let out a deep breath. Maybe he would give you a proper answer later on.

“You should know, Baron.” the woman who you assumed to be Selby spoke up. “People don’t just come into my bar & make demands.”

“Not a demand. An offer.” he made it obvious to grab your hand & intertwine his fingers with yours. You offered the best heart eyes you could muster.

“A lot has changed since you were here last. Who’s that lovely lady by your side?” she eyed you up & down.

“My Baroness.” Zemo kept it simple, thank the Gods. At least one move you were alright with. Your warm smile made her smile in return.

“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” excellent question. You knew someone who could recall the story very detailed. Zemo sat on a chair & pulled you on his lap. Your jaw clenched but you would not let your smile fall. You did notice Bucky staring at you closely. Shooting him a quick glance, you hoped it was enough to let him know that you were fine but that you were not liking it one bit.

“People like us always find a way, don’t we? Darling?” he squeezed your hip, motioning for you to answer as well. The nickname he gave you? Oh, he would so get punched later.

“Most definitely, my Baron.” a soft kiss was planted on your cheek & you saw red. By the way Bucky’s fist clenched, it was obvious that he was slowly losing his temper.

“I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.” his eyes directed to Selby.

“You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger.” she did not even look at Sam, yet her words were meant to reach him. “What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum.” Zemo did not waste any more time. He gently moved you off of him & got up, walking over to where Bucky stood. “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.” one of his hands brushed along Bucky’s chin & if it were not for the part you were playing, you would have punched him in his face. Flames added & all.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember.” Selby seemed totally on board with that deal. “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately.” damn, she wanted to kill him back in the days? Why the hell did she not? “Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right.” again, Zemo sat back down, pulling you close to his body. And you could do nothing but obey. “The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or…condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?” Zemo wanted to know.

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free, but the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron.” great, so that was not going the way you thought it would. “And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.”

A cell phone vibrating caught everyone’s attention. Looking over to Sam, you realized that it was his. Shit. Whoever was calling him did not know about this little undercover mission. Selby demanded him to answer it & Sam had no choice but to. On speaker, of course. It was Sarah. Wilson’s sister. No matter how hard Sam tried, in the end, it blew your cover. Selby got shot the second she ordered to kill you all. Confusion washed over you, Zemo pushed you behind him. Bucky was right there & covered your body with his, making sure nobody had a clear sight on you. Though you had him protecting you, something hard hit the back of your head & you were soon embraced in darkness.

“So what the hell happened to her?” you could make out a female voice. It sounded familiar but you could not quite tell who it belonged to. Your eyelids were too heavy & it was a struggle to open them. Yet, you kept trying. After all, you still were not sure if your were safe or not. Last time you checked, you were in danger with people pointing their guns at you. How you got here? Somewhere inside on a couch? No clue. Groaning slightly, you found it hard to move. Finally opening your eyes, you were met with a certain super soldier smiling down at you. Wait a second. Were you laying in Bucky’s lap? Thank the Gods your head was killing you still or you would have been embarrassed to be in this position.

“Good morning, doll. You okay?” when the others noticed Bucky talking to you, they moved over to where you were. When you struggled sitting up, the super soldier went to help you. One of his arms stayed around your body. Looking around the room, you saw Sam, Zemo & Sharon staring at you. Sharon? What?

“Sharon?” your eyes widened, she simply shot you a warm smile.

“Nice to see you again, (Y/N).” she nodded at you.

“Um, what-where…how…okay. What the fuck?” Sam & Bucky chuckled at your confused state.

“I saved your asses. Well, not entirely. Bucky saved your ass & then I found you guys & then I saved your asses.” Sharon explained.

“Some asshole punched his gun against your head. Buck picked you up & we ran outta there. Now we’re here.” Sam joined in. Nodding in understanding, you thanked Sharon first, then looked over at Bucky & smiled brightly. That was enough for him to know that you were thankful.

“And Zemo’s still alive?” you teased, raising your eyebrows.

“For now.” Sharon mumbled & you broke out in laughter.

“No, wait. I told him I’d kill him. Please let me do it.” you eyed the Baron who simply sat there in silence, observing the conversation from afar.

“What’s going on, Sharon? You don’t ever wanna come back home?” Sam asked while picking out an outfit to wear.

“We miss you.” you simply stated.

“They’ll lock me up if I step foot back in the States.” well, she had a point but that did not have to happen. “Madripoor doesn’t allow extradition.”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call, but after the Blip & the chaos, I just…” Sharon interrupted his rambling.

“Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right? I mean, the way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know it’s all hypocrisy.”

“He knows. And not so deep down.” for the first time since you woke up, Zemo spoke up. Nobody had asked him but you did not want to tell him that. All you did was sending him a death stare.

“Sharon. I did call. You never picked up.” you looked over from the couch to where she & Sam stood.

“I know you called.”

“Oh, okay. Great.” you mumbled, head hanging low.

“It wasn’t exactly easy, (Y/N). If there was a chance, I would’ve called back. You know that, right?” her eyes met yours & behind them, you saw the sincerity. A short nod was enough to drop the conversation for now. “By the way, how is the new Cap?”

“Oh my…please don’t ever mention that asshole again.” groaning, you put your head into your hands.

“Don’t get me started.” Bucky added. Sharon scoffed at your responses.

“Please. You buy into all that stars & stripes bullshit.” she walked over to her couch where Bucky & you were still sitting close to each other. “Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.”

“Wow. She’s kind of awful now.” Bucky leaned closer to your ear & whispered to you. Chuckling quietly, you clapped back a little.

“Not cool, Sharon. I’m being serious.” she rolled her eyes at you. A smirk formed on your face. You knew she was joking, but still.

“Karli Morgenthau & at least seven others have taken the serum.” Sam fixed the shirt he just put on.

“You guys really should steer clear of all of this for your own safety.” Sharon shook her head.

“We know it’s a risk, but we won’t leave until we find the one who cracked the code.”

“We got a name. Wilfred Nagel.” the super soldier followed.

“Nagel works for the Power Broker.” Sharon got up & walked across the room.

“We need your help, Sharon.” Sam admitted. “I can get your name cleared.”

“You haggling with my life?” she poured herself a drink. A drink would do you some good, too. But because of the headache you were still experiencing, you decided to not ask for one.

“Not like that.” Sam’s eyes softened.

“I don’t buy that. You pretending like you can clear my name. (Y/N)’s name got cleared because of what now? Oh, right. Because nobody knows she used to work for HYDRA. Because nobody has read her file. Imagine if things were different. What would her situation be like, huh?”

“Thanks for dragging me into this convo, Sharon.” a tight lipped smile was sent her way. Bucky placed his hand on your shoulder & squeezed a little.

“I wasn’t all that involved in clearing (Y/N)’s name. She did most of it herself.” Sam made sure to add & you showed your gratitude by a small but present smile. “Okay, maybe it is hypocrisy. Maybe you’re right. What happened to you. But I’m willing to try if you are. They cleared the bionic staring machine, & he killed almost everybody he’s met.”

“Damn, Wilson. You’re getting better with nicknames. If you keep going like that, I will have to start a small book & write them all down.” you joked. Even Bucky chuckled. Not much but still.

“I don’t trust charity.” Sharon ignored your little banter.

“Alright, a deal then.” Sam really cared about her otherwise he would have stopped trying to convince Sharon by now.  “You help us out, & I get your name cleared.” it took her a few moments but eventually, she shook hands with Wilson. So you had her on your side. Almost like the good old times.

“Well, I sell to some pretty connected people.” right, because apparently, you were unconscious when Sharon showed the guys around her art exhibition? That was what you made out. Though you had no idea what exactly they were talking about. “Lay low. Blend in. Enjoy the party. Try to stay outta trouble. I’ll see what I can find.”

“(Y/N)?” Zemo asked when Sharon exited the room. Bucky visibly tensed beside you. Clearly, he wanted to keep him as far away from you as possible. Especially after what happened at Selby’s. Bucky blamed Zemo for you getting hurt. Because if the super soldier was close to you, you would not have to deal with a pretty bad headache right now.

“What, Zemo?” you snarled.

“I asked you earlier today. Can we talk?”

“No.” Bucky answered so quickly, you barely had time to register the question.

“I believe the lady can speak for herself.” Zemo stood up, holding his hand out for you to take. Shooting Bucky a quick glance, your eyes told him that you would be fine.

“The lady can. You got five minutes.” ignoring his hand, you got up yourself, stopping briefly to get used to the feeling of standing. Your head was pulsing. Bucky went to steady you by holding onto your waist. When the dark spots blurring your vision disappeared, you assured Bucky that you were okay. His titled head showed his uncertainty. Nevertheless, he let you go.

Zemo & you were outside on a balcony. The chill air of Madripoor around you. Propping your arms on the railing, you waited for him to speak up. It was him who wanted to talk to you.

“I am sorry.” his voice was quiet but loud enough for you to snap your head into his direction. Zemo. Apologizing? Maybe you were dreaming. “For not being cautious enough back there. And for what happened all those years ago.” you scoffed, averting your gaze again.

“Thanks for your apology.” your words were filled with sarcasm.

“I do mean it, (Y/N).” you could feel his eyes staring at you.

“Zemo.” you sighed. “What happened at Selby’s wasn’t your fault. It could’ve happened to all of us. And what you did back then…well, I think your apology comes a little too late. It’s in here, you know?” your finger pointed to your head, signaling that you meant it was a memory.

“What I did was wrong.”

“Took you a long time to figure that one out. It doesn’t matter anyway. You trapped me. Failed to extract my blood correctly to get to my special serum. And not in a way that was pleasant might I add.”

“And for that I truly am sorry.” his body turned towards yours. By now, you were looking straight into his eyes.

“I don’t hate you if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not like I can change what happened. Will I ever stop disliking you? Highly unlikely. But I’m too tired to feel hatred. I’m too tired for revenge. I’m not the person I used to be. The girl who worked for HYDRA? She would’ve killed you without a second thought. Me? I’m far past killing when it’s not necessary. I know what it does to a person. So, thanks for apologizing, Zemo. Let’s just keep this simple, alright? We’re working together. That’s it. I don’t have to like you to do that & I don’t need your pity. Because this problem....” you gestured between the two of you. “Is in the past. And I’d highly appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to the others. Understood?” Zemo’s nod was your sign to head back inside, leaving him on the balcony alone. It was good to talk about it. Now you just hoped that Zemo would keep his mouth shut. After this mission, you would go your separate ways again. Nothing more, nothing less.

“You sure you’re okay?” Bucky walked over to you, making sure that you two were alone.

“I’m fine, Buck.” you breathed out. “Headache is almost gone. Give me another hour & I’ll be good to go.”

“I’m not talking about your head.” he sat down next to you, his arms on his knees.

“Why, thanks for your concern.” you chuckled sarcastically.

“No, I mean…Of course I care about your well-being but I know you well enough that a little hit on your head won’t kill you. Though I gotta admit that you scared me a bit back there.”

“Is that so?” your eyebrows raised, your head turning to your side.

“What I’m trying to say is…Zemo didn’t do anything, did he?” his eyes showed concern.

“He just wanted to apologize for what happened back at Selby’s.” it was not a lie. Not the entire truth either but enough for now.

“When you’re ready to tell me everything, you know where to find me. I won’t pressure you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Come here.” he opened his arms & you gladly accepted his offer. So he saw through you. As he usually did. Maybe you would tell him what Zemo did all those years ago. Maybe when you were not as busy as right now. It was Bucky. He would never judge you. The exact opposite, actually. You were sure that he would help you through it. Because sharing your burdens made the weight lighter. In the future. That was what you told yourself. After everything decided to calm down a little more.

Again. Loud music. And it did not really help your head at all. Your headache had pretty much disappeared but the bass made it harder to keep it that way. Everyone around you was dancing, drinking alcohol & doing drugs. No, this was not your world. Zemo actually seemed to fit in quite well. You stood on the side, right next to Bucky. Mainly because he did not leave you out of his sight. Not after what Zemo pulled earlier.

“(Y/N), look.” Sam nudged you with his elbow. “Your husband has some moves. Damn.” he pointed over to the Baron who was throwing it down on the dancefloor.

“Could you please not call him my husband? It was hard enough not to kick him in the balls when he was all like “Oh, look at my Baroness.”. I still can’t believe I agreed on playing his pretend-wife.” you shook your head at the memory that was still so freshly present in your mind.

“I found it hilarious.” Sam admitted.

“Yeah? You know what I found hilarious?” Wilson motioned for you to continue. “When that bartender cut open the snake to put God knows what into your favorite drink.” Bucky & you laughed when Sam gagged at the drink he had to down.

“How was it like?” Bucky asked all of a sudden.

“How was what like?” your eyebrows furrowed.

“Pretending to be his wife.” there was something behind his eyes. Something you would describe as rage or maybe even…jealousy? Was he jealous? Deep down you hoped so.

“Like the worst nightmare ever.” that seemed to ease the tension a little, fortunately.

“Hey, guys. I found him.” Sharon joined you again.

“Here we go.” Sam eyed you & the four of you followed her.

It looked like you were at a harbor. Many containers. Whoever this guy was, he sure as hell did a great job with hiding here.

“Madripoor could give New York a run for its money.” Sam noted & you nodded at him.

“They know how to party.” Zemo added.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving.” Sharon kept looking at her phone for directions. Another thing you had found out was that after Selby was killed, there had been put a huge bounty on your head.

“What a comforting thing to say, Sharon.” you remarked with a hint of sarcasm & desperation.

“Welcome to Madripoor, (Y/N).” she met your eyes briefly, then added. “Alright. He’s in there. Container four-two-six-one” she gestured to a container that looked exactly like every other one around here. “I’ll keep an eye while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on burrowed time.” she handed each of you a little piece to put into your ear. That way, you were all connected together.

“Wait, wait, wait. Isn’t it better if I stayed with Sharon? I mean, It’s better to have two people out here, right?” you questioned.

“Not gonna happen.” Bucky grabbed your wrist to pull you closer to him. “You’re staying with me.”

“Your overprotective boyfriend’s right, (Y/N). I can handle myself just fine, trust me. You go talk to Nagel.” you rolled your eyes at her for calling Bucky your boyfriend.

“Aw, overprotective boyfriend. That’s cute.” Wilson joined the teasing. Of course he did.

“I hate you all so much.” you went ahead & approached the container, leaving the others behind. Bucky only clenched his jaw & shot Sam a look. One that made him snort. Then, he trailed behind you, making sure you were not too far away from where he was. So what? Maybe he was protective. It was not a bad thing. Besides, he saw what happened when he did not pay attention. No way in hell would he let you get into such a dangerous situation again. He actually told you to stay behind. After all, you were still hurt. Kind of. But you reassured him that you were fine. And they needed you.

Sam opened the heavy door, revealing a dark container.

“Hey, Sharon. You sure this is the right one?” Wilson asked. “It’s completely empty.”

“This looks like a trap, guys.” you noted.

“It has to be the right one. No trap.” Sharon told you over the coms. So you all entered. Staying behind a bit, you made sure to check the door. Just in case. If someone was about to trap you in, you would notice soon enough to stop it. Zemo turned on a flashlight, bringing a tiny bit of light inside the dark room. Was it a room? Container. Whatever, it did not exactly matter. Sam & Zemo checked out its entirety. Bucky & you still at the door. You heard something & saw the Baron pushing against the back of the container. A secret door. You should have guessed that. You pulled out your gun & followed them. Sam was first, then Zemo, then you & last but not least Bucky. That way, he could keep you in his sight. Music could be heard once you walked up the stairs. Yes, this looked like a lab. Gun at ready, you made sure it was clear. Bucky signaled you to stay behind him & you obeyed. If your were honest, you did not really feel safe without him around. So staying close to him was your preferred choice anyway. At the end of the room, a man was totally in his element, failing to notice your presence. Sam & Bucky nodded at each other, having another silent conversation. Then, they approached the man. You went ahead & stopped his music. That gained his attention. He turned around & faced you.

“Dr. Nagel?” Sam was the first to speak.

“Who are you? What do you want?” if this was the guy you were looking for then con-fucking-grats. He looked like he was insane.

“We know you created the super-soldier serum.”

“Get out of my lab.” he ordered but you stood your place. It took more for you to leave than such a little threat. Hell, it was not even a threat.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that, Doc.” your gun was still raised, not yet knowing the possible danger you were in. He went to walk away but stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on Bucky.

“You know who he is, right?” Sam grabbed his arm to hold him in place. “This is Baron Zemo. And this…” he turned him so he had to look at you. “This is (Y/N). I know you’ve heard of her too, right?” as a form of greeting, you moved your fingers where blue sparks started forming. His eyes widened when he noticed. A smirk was making its way onto your face. Good thing if he was scared of you. “You seem like a pretty smart guy. So you better become conversational real quick.”

“How about a counter proposal?” that made your eyebrows raise. He was outmanned & he had the audacity to suggest that? Okay, strong move. “Make me a better offer & I’ll talk.” Sharon let you know that you had company. Maybe you should have stayed with her. Bucky noticed you wanting to move but his arm wrapped around your middle, holding you in place.

“No.” he whispered sternly & you rolled your eyes in annoyance. When you saw the look that he gave you, your gaze went down. No arguing with him, it seemed. Bucky then let you go & pushed Nagel onto a chair, gun pointing at his head. When he still did not start talking, Bucky gave a warning shot, right beside his head.

“Okay. Okay.” the doctor gave in. “I was brought into HYDRA’s Winter Soldier program to pick up their work after the five failed test subjects in Siberia. When HYDRA fell, I was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples from an American test subject with semi-stable traces of serum in his system.” he was talking about Isaiah. “After much labor, I was able to isolate the necessary compounds in his blood.”

“Zemo? Maybe you should let him teach you how to successfully do that.” you mumbled, leaning a tiny bit closer to the Baron.

“Shut up.” he spat out, though there was something playful in his tone. Sam & Bucky looked at you confused but you simply brushed them off by a wave of your hand.

“I was a God.” he finished.

“Not really a Thor-like kinda guy but whatever helps you sleep at night.” you could not help but comment. The doctor then looked at you, clearly not pleased by what you said.

“I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do. But mine was going to be different. No clunky machines or jacked up bodies. Mine was going to be subtle, optimized, perfect.”

“How have we never heard about this?” excellent question, Sam. You had no clue.

“Because…Before I was able to complete my work, I turned to dust.”

“How unfortunate.” you rolled your eyes. Bucky silently told you to keep your comments to yourself. He only did that because he was concerned about you & did not want to risk anything. Nagel ignored you anyway.

“Then when I returned, it was five years later, the program had been abandoned, so I came here. The Power Broker was more than happy to fund the recreation of my work.”

“How many vials did you make?” Wilson kept asking the really important questions here.

“Twenty.” oh, awesome. “Karli Morgenthau stole those, so…I can only imagine what the Power Broker has planned for that poor girl.”

“Where’s Karli now?” you all silently agreed on letting Sam do the talking.

“I don’t know where she is.” oh, even more awesome. “But a couple of days ago, she called & asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.”

“Well, what happened to her?”

“Not my pig. Not my farm.”

“Is there any serum in this lab?” finally, Bucky asked a question. The gun pointed at the doctor’s head again when he did not answer right away.

“No.”

“And we’re just supposed to believe you?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“If you believe me or not is none of my business.”

“Now what?” Bucky directed his words at you three. Shrugging your shoulders, you waited for the others to come up with a plan.

“Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” you were surprised to see Sharon running in. Bruises were adorning her face. Whatever had happened out there, it was not pretty. The next thing you heard was a gunshot & when you looked over, you saw Zemo pointing a gun at a now dead Nagel. How the hell did he even get a gun?

“No!” Sam screamed. It was too late. Zemo was pushed against a wall by Wilson.

“What did you do?” Sharon breathed out, out of breath from her previous fights you assumed she had. The room around you exploded & you tried your best to shield your head with your arms. Bucky’s reflexes were faster than yours & he wrapped his arms around your form, his entire body keeping as much of the explosion from you as possible.

“You okay?” you did not hear his words but you read the question off of his lips. The ringing in your ears was almost too much. The headache that had faded, now being back worse than before. The lab would soon experience another explosion & the super soldier wasted no time in helping you get up. When your legs almost gave out, he picked you up bridal style & rushed out of the container with you in his arms. Your body was still weakened. But you had no time to think about the pain. There were people here who wanted you dead & you had to fight them. Whether you liked it or not.

“Alright! Wait for my signal!” Bucky yelled over the noises around you. Your hands were covered in blue flames, ready to attack. Ready to use your powers if needed. Fun fact: nobody waited for Bucky’s signal. Sam went off, shooting.

“Damn it. (Y/N), stay behind!” you were too focused to talk so you simply nodded. Hiding behind one of the containers. Still, you shot your gun. By now, you had realized that your powers were not really useful. Not in this moment. Your gun had to do. Your ears had not stopped ringing. The gunshots blazing around you did not help much after that explosion.

“Are you like living here?” Sam screamed, directing it at Sharon.

“It’s not terrible.” she answered in a haze.

“Oh, it’s lovely.” your usual sarcasm was back. You were running short on ammo & if you did not wrap this up quickly, you would actually have to use your powers.

“I thought we were going left?” the super soldier said through gritted teeth.

“You went the wrong way!” Sam shot back.

“I was clearing the way!”

“I came out first. You had to follow me.”

“And where are we now?”

“Guys, now’s not the time!” you ended their bickering right away. Tried to.

“This is a barricade.”

“It’s in every action movie!”

“If you don’t shut up right now…I swear I will pull a fucking Tom Cruise on you!” your voice was now at the same volume as theirs. That seemed to do the job. Children. You were working with freaking children. It was not even funny anymore. A third explosion caught you off guard. Again, Bucky shielded you from the force of it. How the hell did that happen anyway? And where the fuck was Zemo? Wait. Did he just blow up your surroundings? You would not be surprised if that was the case. It was him. You watched how he handled your opponents all by himself. Well, he could only do such a thing because you had caused them a good amount of damage already. Bucky motioned for you all to go & you did not think twice about it. The sooner you were away from this scene, the better. The gunshots were still going strong & when the super soldier noticed that you were not keeping up with their pace due to the pain you were still experiencing, he grabbed your wrist & dragged you along. Your legs did not want to move anymore. But you knew you could not stop now. Stopping would have you dead for sure.

“Buck!” Sam yelled over his shoulder. A door was opened & Bucky pretty much shoved you inside. Then, he grabbed a pipe & handled your attackers.

“Let’s go!” Wilson pulled him inside & closed the door right behind him. At least you had a second to breathe now. The super soldier grabbed your shoulder, eyebrows raising slightly, silently asking you if your were alright. A thumbs up from you answered it. He knew you were trying to play it cool but he decided against commenting on it. That could be done later.

Exiting the container again, a car came to a halt right in front of you. No way. Zemo. That motherfucker.

“Supercharged.” he smirked at your dumfounded expressions.

“I know I said I don’t hate you but the strong dislike is slowly starting to increase to an almost hate level.” you let him know.

“I can live with that.” Zemo’s winning smile did not falter.

“You’re going back to jail.” Sam was angry, his voice gave him away.

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” what kind of stupid question was that? Of course you wanted to find her.

“He’s right. We need him.” never in your wildest dreams had you ever expected Bucky to rely on Zemo. Yet, here you were. “And there’s three of us & at least twenty of them, come on.” Bucky opened the door for you to get in first. After you got seated, he entered himself.

“Fine. But if you try that shit again…” Sam’s finger pointed in a threatening way.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” Sharon closed the door behind Wilson.

“Wait. You’re not coming with us? Sharon, come on.” you almost pleaded.

“I told you I can’t. Just get me that pardon you promised me.” now, she was talking to Sam.

“You take care, okay?” your concerning eyes met hers.

“I will. You too. But it looks like you have someone who looks after you anyway.” she winked at you before moving away. Of course she was referring to Bucky. Sharon was good at reading people.

“You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?” Sam sighed & you giggled at the déjà vu moment.

“No.” Bucky replied simply.

“Zemo? Can you move your seat up?” you teased, not expecting anything to come out of it.

“Of course. My apologies for taking up too much space.” & he really went ahead & moved his seat up. Putting your face in your hands, you heard Sam & Bucky snicker. Zemo seemed oblivious to everything. Hell, you just wanted to sleep for the next few days. It was exhausting to be around those guys all the time. Luck had not really been on your side in Madripoor.

You were back on Zemo’s private jet. Bucky sitting opposite of you, cleaning his metal hand. You had an ice pack that you held to the back of your head. Sam had a phone call with Torres, giving him the information you had found out. And the Baron? Well, you did not really care what he did.

“You okay, Sam?” your voice was soft.

“Yeah.” your eyebrows furrowed at that. “Just thinking about all the shit Sharon had to go through.” so did you, actually. If you were not as lucky, you would have ended up like her. Most definitely. “And Nagel referring to the American test subject like Isaiah wasn’t even a real person. Just makes me wonder how many people have to get steamrolled to make way for this hunk of metal.” you gulped at that.

“Well, it depends on who you ask.” Bucky joined your conversation. “That hunk of metal saved a lot of lives. “

“I have to agree with Buck on this one…” your eyes trailed to your lap.

“Yeah, I get that. Alright. Maybe I made a mistake.”

“You did. A huge mistake.” your head snapped up again, eyes slightly glossy by just thinking about it. You would not let the tears fall, though. Not here. Not in front of them.

“Yeah.” sounded like he realized that he was in the wrong. “Maybe I shouldn’t have put it in a museum. Maybe I should have destroyed it.”

“Look, that shield represents a lotta things to a lotta people, including me.” Bucky’s words were low. He chose them carefully, you could tell. “The world is upside down, & we need a new Cap, & it ain’t gonna be Walker.”

“I’ll make fucking sure of that.” you chuckled shortly.

“So will I.” the super soldier nodded at you. His gaze fell to Sam a second after. “So before you go & destroy it, I’ll take it from him myself.”

“This isn’t what Steve wanted.” it was almost inaudible, yet, two pairs of eyes stared at you. “I’m sorry to break it to you, but Steve made that decision. He thought this through. He didn’t want you to give up the shield, Sam. And he didn’t want you to take on that role, Buck.” again, Sam’s phone rang & he picked up. Zemo came over & brought each of you a plate with food. Thanking him silently, you waited for Wilson to finish. The Baron sat down, glancing between you all.

“They found Madani...” Sam started. Finally, good news. “Dead.” shit, bad news. “She died in Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea.”

“I have a place we can go.” Zemo told you.

“Is there a place on this Earth that isn’t part of your property?” rolling your eyes, you laid back in your chair.

“Believe it or not, there is, (Y/N).” he started again. “I, for one, am looking forward to coming face to face with Karli. Oeznik, we’re changing the course.” he ordered.

Riga, Latvia. If you were honest, you were surprised that you still followed Zemo. After all, he was kind of a criminal. But so were you. Kind of.

“I heard what became of Sokovia.” the Baron started a conversation as you walked down one of the many streets. “Cannibalized by its neighbors before the land was given cleared of rubble, erased from the map. I don’t suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial?”

“I did.” your confession made him stop in his tracks. An approving nod was all you received. Neither Sam nor Bucky knew about this. You did not find it worth mentioning.

“We are here.” Zemo stated.

“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Bucky spoke up all of a sudden. Turning around, you saw something behind his eyes. He noticed something. You were not sure what it was but you would find out.

“You good?” because obviously, Zemo cared so much for you all.

“I’ll come with you.” walking over to him, you eyed him carefully.

“I’m gonna go on a walk alone.” he emphasized the last word but you were having none of it.

“Last time I checked, you barely let me out of your sight. I’m coming with you. End of discussion.” your eyes bore into his. You were serious & it was clear as day that you would not let him out of your sight now. Bucky threw his head back in frustration & sighed out.

“Okay, come on.” one of his hands found yours & he dragged you with him. Leaving a very confused Sam & an even more confused Zemo behind.

Bucky went to pick up a small beeping ball. Your question got ignored. He told you if you really wanted to join his walk then he would let you know sooner or later. The two of you followed behind what seemed like a trail of those little objects. Unknowingly, your fingers were still intertwined with Bucky’s. Neither of you seemed to mind. Being smarter now, you just let him do whatever he wanted or needed to do. Answers would follow soon. After all, that was what he promised you. Bucky came to a halt in a backstreet. Holding up one of the balls, he started talking.

“You dropped something.” who the hell was he talking to? Turning around, you were shocked when a woman was standing in front of you. Tugging one of Bucky’s sleeves, he looked into the same direction as you.

“I was wondering when you were gonna show up.” did that mean that Bucky was expecting her? She seemed somewhat familiar but you did not remember where you had seen her before. Realization hit you when she started speaking in a language you definitely recognized. It was Wakandan. You even understood what she said.

“I’m here for Zemo.” whatever that meant, it could not be good.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/16/2021) by Cathy

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