#there is some more nuance that could be had here but i just get kinda miffed when people claim to do A Security and then do the opposite

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[tenderjock]

i do think the most interesting interpretation of btvs lore is that non-vampire demons and mystical entities ALL have souls, unless they sold, destroyed or otherwise got rid of them (like the mayor)

[twigs-sprigs]

here i come with another hot take!

you know, i dont even ship llorumi, im not interested in it, i dont ship it, i don't consume any content of it, i don't even enjoy it personally, i think its kinda silly

but i also think that the argument of "they're siblings!! it's incest!!" is just. like. stupid?

for not a single second of watching ninjago did i believe that harumi wanting to be "adopted" by garmadon was something other than a metaphor. her being adopted was never something that was official, garmadon treated her like garbage, and literally they fought against each other in crystallized. she was controlling garmadon through and through in season 9, and the moment he got out of control even she was having second thoughts.

she wanted to get "adopted" by garmadon so she could have even more over lloyd. it wasnt anything more than that, i dont think the show was trying to communicate that it was more than that.

the show itself was literally hinting at a ship between them, i dont think cartoon network or even the ninjago writers at the time (im talking s8-crytallized) would actively show incestuous and disgusting relationships in that manner to children. lets remind ourselves ninjago *is* a kids show, nobody's gonna think harumi and lloyd are siblings, theyre gonna think theyre like...weird exes . i know it sucks but the way crystallized portrays it, that's what a general audience will understand

llorumi had potential as a ship, but the show and the fandom have lost sight of any sort of nuance that comes with shipping toxic ships. (this goes both ways, by the way, from the people absolutely repulsed by it because for some reason its "incest " to the people romanticizing the fuck out of it)

(by the way, i fully understand being repulsed by llorumi, i dont like it either, im just saying specifically the reason of it being incestuous in nature is just kinda...silly...in restrospect)

[heartofbusan]

Best laid plans of stomach bugs and men.

The chemistry is the point.

Some people underestimate the effort and toll it takes on ones body and schedule to fly 14 hours to visit another person. 14 hours to spend 72 hours together means commitment. It means bro's before ho's and I am frankly HERE FOR IT.

The discourse I am seeing is extremely telling of how fickle people are about their support for jikook. People watch too much scripted reality tv 🙄 bcs they really expected this relationship, this reunion if you will, to play out in multiple angle close ups and medium shots and several wide angle shots with dramatic zooms and heavily directed post-moment recaps with dramatic silences or eye rolls to play up the drama? The lack of moments, the MUNDANITY if you will IS THE POINT. They are so real to me, so life like, so domestic goals!

Being quiet with each other. No uncomfortable silences, but comfortable togetherness.

That's what leads to horny bed fighting, which in my eyes could lead to more if not for the cameras 👀 just me?

When they said unscripted, this is what they meant. When they said unplanned, this is what they referred to. Not directed, not scripted, not fanservice 🙄 to fit a planned narrative. This is how their relationship plays out. I'd go so far as to call it a documentary instead of a reality series. While documentaries have tons of genres within itself, this genre is one where there's a broad range of planned activities, but where the narrative is constructed in post production: editing. Id know, since im an editor. This tells me that they counted on the natural chemistry between 'JeonJi' (SO CUTE) to 'lead the way' instead of a multitude of directed interactions that they (the producers) would have needed to tick a dramatic narrative box.

So what does that lead to? In my professional opinion as a director/editor the first two episodes lacked a dramatic arc. There was little directing going on to force one

the chemistry is the point

The flirting, the lulls in conversation, them being together, seeing them have fun, and reconnecting is the point. Instead of what they're doing or what they're talking about. The episodes, therefore, are kinda boring in the sense of entertainment, but wildly exiting in the sense of what we get to see play out. And it's incredibly nuanced. And nuance often flies over people's heads..again, the crowd that expects to be held by the hand when it comes to drama: reality tv.

It's a huge risk to take as a production. Let's not underestimate that! 'Are You Sure' was so unscripted that they didn’t even have a title until halfway into the second or third day. Again: they were banking on JeonJi to build upon their chaos to lead to a narrative and a title, etc. That is so telling to me. That them being together is the raison d'etre of this show. Jimin 'sacrificing' his time to fly to the US, Jeonkook making space in his busy schedule time to spend time unwinding, JeonJi making good on their need to finally spend time together after the booked and busy year they've had.

Jimin enjoying the hell out of Jungkook having fun.

Because that is who Jimin has always been: his adventurous spirit takes him places because he loves exploring and being in tue moment. He'll willingly travel to have those moments. Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t. He dislikes leaving the comfort of his surroundings because he doesn’t see the pot of gold that being adventurous brings him while he's comfortable in his home. I relate 😩 so much. Just planning trips alone makes me enter a comatose state, so I'd rather not go than sacrifice my rest to plan an adventure. I don't even know I'll get anything out of. That is, until Im actually on that planned trip and having the time of my life! They've always been like that. Jimin had to be the incentive to get Jungkook out on that trip. Take.him.by the hand if you will 😭😭

And then there's the stomach bug. YOU DAMMNED CURSED THING. It threw a HUGE wrench into their plans, and if anyone doesn’t take that into consideration, then you haven't had a stomachbug EVER while still having to face up to your commitments. Park Jimin will NEVER back down from his commitments, his promises *pinky promises* are sacred to him, and this bug took away the catalyst of this duo. Jungkook suddenly had to be the extrovert of the two, and boy, does he struggle in that role. He was to me his usuall baby elf self. So adorable and cute with his nose focused on food and Jimin’s care. But my man loves to rely on Jimin to lead the way in shenanigans and to make any moment entertaining, and you could just tell Jimin wasn't in his feels enough to overcome his lack of energy. Poor baby. Really, he's the best of us because I would have straight up refused to be filmed in that moment. A whole night of diarrhea and still showing up to film the next day?! NO MA'M NOT ME.

If you've read up to this point, I commend you. It was just supposed to be a short rant, but it became an entire essay because I can not with the overly reactionary nature some people show. Drawing entire conclusions based on two hour long episodes. I know, I might be contradicting myself here but extenuating circumstances and all. Jimin wasn’t on his game, and Jungkook was also recovering. When a show is banking on the chemistry between two people to shoulder the brunt of this show and said people are extremely sick, well then what can I tell you?

We need to sit back and enjoy the fact that we are getting such access to them, so unfiltered. Jikook enjoying each other, come rain or shine, in sickness and in health, whatever the mood brings, because that to me is more valuable than DRAMA or NARRATIVE. We'll probably get a bit more of that once they're going to Jeju, and they're both hopefully healthy. We're even getting a new element for them to play off of: Tete shows up! Like a jack in the box, and Jungkook seems to not be having it, lmao...see..unscripted and natural. I love that for them!

Idols are people first, and we need to celebrate that, not demand more.

[mauesartetc]

Redesigning Helluva Beelzebub

Hoo boy, roll up the sleeves for this one.

The Original

In my review of Helluva Boss 108, I mentioned that Beelzebub's character design put me in mind of how some DeviantArt kid's fursona might look. And... Yeah I stand by that statement. The most likely reason I can figure Viv Medrano wanted her to be dog-like was to make a reference to her Die Young music video, which featured an anthro wolf singing a Kesha song (for context, Kesha herself voiced Beelzebub and co-wrote a song for this episode).

But for those who are unaware, Beelzebub's traditional depiction looks nothing like this.

Really the only visual similarities the Helluva version shares with the Infernal Dictionary version are the insect wings, six limbs, and the crown thingy over the head. (At least I think that's a crown-? Kinda hard to tell on both counts.)

Bee's eyes get somewhat more insectoid later in the episode, but that feels like a cop-out. Wow, her eyes and colors changed. Totally a bug demon, right?

They had the same problem in Hazbin Hotel with Katie Killjoy, who's allegedly supposed to be a praying mantis but barely resembles one, even after her transformation.

I understand the desire for fresh takes on old figures, and taking creative liberties so the new interpretation doesn't feel generic. But the changes should at least make sense. By now it's pretty clear Viv couldn't care less about representing Ars Goetia demons faithfully, as demonstrated with Paimon, Andrealphus, and now Beelzebub. You could slap completely different names on these characters and it wouldn't change a thing. I posted this meme a while back but it's never been more relevant:

On top of that, what reason could there possibly be for the design to be this damn complex? Why did she need so many markings on her face? Why did she need so many layers of hair? Why did she need flowing goo for her hair, tail, and body, each requiring dedicated effects animation?

When it comes to a hand-drawn production, less is more. Any superfluous details on a character just make unnecessary work for the animators.

Anyway, here's what Viv has to say about it.

Alright, I'll admit: The lava lamp bit is a little clever. Basically it works as a regular stomach does, but on demonic steroids. But it wouldn't look so much like Viv's making this up as she goes if we'd seen Bee's stomach performing its intended function in the episode. Let her chow down on a giant piece of food (maybe that cotton candy she's been handing out-?) and swallow it, and let Loona (and the audience) see it dissolving in her transparent belly. As a general rule, if it's not shown or explained in the work itself, it's not canon. Like I've said before, Viv: Elaborate on the nuances in the story you're telling, not on social media.

Also, "Her ears are designed after beehives"? Wh...Wha? Ma'am have you ever seen a beehive.

(Hell, even if you told me the ears were inspired by the generic cartoon beehive we're all familiar with, I wouldn't have guessed. There's a difference between being subtle and being vague.)

I can kinda see it in the overall shape, but that's a very specific design inspiration that wasn't clear at all in the design itself. Same with the "animal trainer" thing: I never would have picked up on that if Viv hadn't pointed it out. If a character design doesn't visually convey all the necessary information, it's not a successful design. Show, don't tell. There's a communication breakdown between what Viv's telling us and what Bee's design shows us.

(It's possible she actually meant "Her ears are designed after honeycombs", but even then, each compartment has a specific pentagonal shape that's not coming across at all here.)

I also find it interesting that Bee and Loona have almost the exact same body type. Of course Viv's pretty infamous for samebody syndrome, but it's actually unnerving how similar these two are.

Might this be a reference to Vortex's "type"? Is this foreshadowing a relationship with Loona? Am I overthinking this? Yeah, probably. Viv's demonstrated a clear preference for tall, skinny body types over the years, so it's safer to assume that's the explanation. It's all aesthetics. It ain't that deep. Occam's Razor and all that.

Finally, Bee how the hell does your shirt work.

The Concept

So at this point it seems most logical to lean into the "bee" thing for the redesign, and scrap all the canine elements. As for the blobby hair and tail... yeeeah let's nix those too. We're going for a streamlined version that's easier to animate. And because I ignored the ringmaster look for my redesign of Asmodeus, it only makes sense to do the same for Bee's animal trainer vibe (what little there is) for the sake of consistency. I know this version of Hell has a circus theme with its highest-ranking demons, but there's never been an in-universe explanation for why that is.

Let's look at actual bees, then. A quick peek at Google has informed me that certain insect species have smaller, "simple" eyes (also known as ocelli), in addition to their compound eyes. In bees, this manifests as a triangular grouping of three beady eyes on top of the head.

In her Helluva Boss episode, Bee's full demon form has three eyes, which could be a reference to this triangular arrangement, plus her regular form has two spots on her forehead in addition to the third eye. So it's possible Viv actually did research for something. Pleasantly surprised on that front.

Next, the body. I've noticed that some folks find Bee's skinny body type refreshing, as the sin of gluttony is too often personified with fatness. And that's fair. That's valid. But consider this:

Imagine any Vivziepop character saying that about a chubby person. Imagine the series sending the message that fat people can be sexy too, and that they have worth outside of their appearance, enough for at least one character to consider them girlfriend material. That they're valued and appreciated regardless of this culture's beauty standards (which we know nothing about since the worldbuilding is as thin and flimsy as tissue paper, but whatever). Imagine if this show finally had a fat female character who wasn't relegated to the background. Don't know about y'all, but that would be refreshing to me. And when you take into account all the fat-shaming of a character who isn't even fat, portraying a fat character as attractive would be a nice change of pace for this show.

Now let's talk about clothing. In the episode, Bee's clothes show off a lot of her body, with a cutout crop top and short shorts. We can take a similar approach for the redesign (something that still shows off her chest, belly, and limbs, in keeping with the extroverted "party girl" persona), but that perhaps includes more queenly elements.

The Redesign

Because this is a redesign, many elements were already in place, but I still had to figure out how this character would look as a bee. Here's where the preliminary sketches came in. Lots of trial and error in this process.

Wrestling with this character's face got a lot easier once I realized I could mold it into a pentagonal shape akin to a honeycomb compartment. It took a few tries, but at last, I had a final sketch.

All that was left to do was test out some color combinations.

I tried a few different approaches, but in the end, this is the version I felt worked best.

I used many of the colors from the original, but pushed the orange much harder since orange is the symbolic color of gluttony as a sin. And overall it gives Bee a nice honey-ish look rather than the generic black and yellow we already see on so many bees in cartoons. I thought the colored outlines on her clothing would add a soft, feminine touch, as well.

And just for kicks, here's a quick sketch of her giant form, inspired by the Infernal Dictionary drawing of Beelzebub.

Conclusion

The canon version of this character exists in the form she does for no reason than to stroke her creator's ego. "Hey guys, remember when I animated that Kesha fan video? Remember how cool that was? Wanna see me foist this unnecessarily-complex character design on other animators while I take a victory lap?" I wouldn't mind so much if Viv animated any of this herself, but she didn't. I could almost excuse this if she had no animation experience and didn't know how much work it requires, but she does. The self-aggrandizing entitlement is just off the charts. But a nonsensical design is leagues better than a stolen one, so... brownie points for that, I guess.

[pawberri]

thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.

I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?

There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.

Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:

Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.

As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???

At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.

I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:

This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.

Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.

I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........

[dann-art]

I know that vampire chronicles aren't meant to be historical accurate. Like you read this and you know that all this events can happen in literally any time and space. Like really. The times doesn't really matter there, there are no nuances.

Listen, I'm not a historian, by any means. It's just like a hobby, but I have millions of them so I don't even learn that much.

Also I usually don't give a shit about accuracy in media, like whatever, until it's science do what you want, whatever suits your story

But sometimes it's time to say enough is enough.

So, we need to talk about Armands origin in Kievan Rus'. Okay, that's cool, we don't really explore it, but well whatever, at least we're not messing this up, right? Right?

While I was reading I ignored it. I was reading TVA in polish translation I thought like okay, names and nuances probably got lost in translation. It's a really bad translation tho.

But out of curiosity today I opened the book in English, because this was sticking in my head.

And it appears it wasn't translators fault.

So well, it's like kinda huge mistake. Like no one really checked it? But this book constantly claims that like Kievan Rus' was then in Russia. And suprise, suprise: that's simply not true. Well the term is kinda not right and can mean anything, like back it existed as state it was huge, but (judging on the mention of Kiev itself) that it was like somewhere in that area.

So I'll spare whole history, it's not relevant. We're stop around 1480's, when Armand was born (based on my calculations). And in that time the region was called Kiev Voivodeship (hope I got it right in english), and it was part of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, and stayed there until 1569, when it passed to the Crown of the Kingdom of Poland (when the Polish-lithuanian commonwealth was created, but both countries were in union since early XV century)

So in the book we have some lines like this

Armand, bestie, I don't know how to break it to you, you're not russian. You never were. You've never lived in Russia (or back then I would use rather the name Moscow, but again I'm not a historian). More of a Ukrainian if so, but also not the world I would use. Most accurate would be rusyn (I think, or ruthenian???? I'm not sure how it works in English, anyway not russian).

Then we have this, and well... Oh boy. Something went really wrong with geography here. First of all, you've never been to Russia (or better say Principality of Moscow, like it wasn't even called Russia, from what I know, but i might be wrong).

So okay, Moscow and Novgorod were in part of Moscow indeed but Cracow!?!?!?? (Known also as my absolutely favourite city in the world). Like Cracow like Never ever has been a part of Russia. Okay, I get confusion with Kiev if you really really don't care about basic research. But Cracow???

Here's the map. Unfortunately it like administrative of Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth in 1619, but well you'll see my point. That doesn't make any sense

Cracow always was polish. Like it's our second capital. And look how far from Russia it is. Even during the partitions it goes to Austria not Russia.

Last thing I want to point out is this one

Like, man, maybe you speak russian, I do not doubt, like during travel to Moscow you could learn I guess.

I'm not entirely sure, but I guess the language there is ruthenian not russian. Like ruthenian is old language which is base for slavic languages such as Belarusian or Ukrainian. And what is also important it was not the language used in the Principality of Moscow, so it's definitely not russian.

Okay, thanks for reading if anyone is still there. I won't bore you any longer. It just was sitting in my head and I had to throw it out because we'll, basic research I guess.

[mae-lou-ron]

A Friend Indeed

Summary: Two years into settling on Pabu, Crosshair reluctantly finds solace in some familiar places.

Rating: T (might be G but set as T because I'm just a baby and I don't know how ratings work. Feel free to yell at me if I should change it) Warnings under the cut.

Tags/TWs: hurt/comfort, cute brotherly fluff, descriptions of PTSD, descriptions of sleep paralysis symptoms, recurring nightmares involving medical trauma (nothing described), heightened anxiety around dates, grief processing, mental health probs, just wrecker and crosshair being adorable brothers with their emotional support animals.

WC: ~1,800

A/N: this is the first work I've ever posted. It started as a completely self indulgent drabble of Crosshair bonding with a scrungly stray island cat (still in progress), but I loved writing this brotherly exchange between Crosshair and Wrecker so much it kinda turned into something else entirely by the end? This story falls in line with my HCs that Wrecker is the mediator middle child, Tech is still alive and on Pabu with his family, and that he's an awful snorer. Proofread by me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"And how is this supposed to help?" Crosshair seethed, looking down at the plush tooka doll his brother just shoved into his hand. "I don't need this, Wrecker."

"Oh come on, Crosshair, don't pretend like you didn't borrow Lula when we were younger...like that time you had nightmares after falling off the--"

"Stow it," Crosshair growled, throwing the doll back at his brother, but Wrecker, being used to his brother's temperament, dodged it easily. It tumbled to the floor and Batcher, who had been eyeing the tooka during their entire exchange, didn't hesitate to scoop it up and wiggle her hind quarters, hoping one of them would start a game of chase.

"Listen, I still get them too..." Wrecker said quietly as he took a step towards Crosshair, his hand resting on the sniper's shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Want to tell me about it?" He was no stranger to navigating Crosshair's anger. Especially now, after two years of them living on Pabu, two years into recovering mentally and physically from their experiences with the Republic and the Empire, two years of healing the bonds between one another. Wrecker knew that it was always a cover for something more nuanced. So, he was quiet and let Crosshair percolate with his thoughts before he spoke about what was bothering him. After a few moments, Crosshair grumbled, resisting the urge to shrug his shoulder free, but the wall he put up cracked just enough.

"It's just..." Crosshair’s hand clenched into a fist at his side. Batcher flopped down on her bed dramatically at being ignored, still holding the tooka gently in her mouth. "It's not just the nightmares..." he mumbled. Wrecker took a half step back, eyes soft and trained on his brother's deep furrowed brow and scowl at opening up like this. But Wrecker was patient.

When Crosshair continued, his voice was barely a whisper, "Sometimes when I wake up I'm still stuck there and...I can't...I can't move..." he trailed off, his mind flitting back to that morning.

He'd woken from the dream, or so he thought. Tantiss' medical droids were still swirling in his periphery, the smell of disinfectant still sharp in his nose. His nervous system immediately reacted, seeking to lash out, to escape, but his body didn't respond- for a horrible moment he thought he might be strapped down again but no, nothing was biting into his skin, he simply couldn't move. He tried to speak, but the words remained on his tongue.

No. He thought bitterly. They're not here. I'm not there.

He kept repeating this in his head, almost like a mantra as the panic coursed through his body. The droid never came close enough to touch him, but still close enough to be a threat. It felt like an eternity until his tunneled vision brightened slightly, the bits and pieces started to fade, and his bedroom in his Pabu home came into the forefront. He could finally feel his limbs thawing, the weight of the blanket on his feet, the rising sun casting speckles on the wall, the sound of seabirds calling in the distance. These things helped ground him enough to remember his training, he slowed his breathing in an attempt to quiet his pounding heart. It worked, but it didn't quiet completely, not until he could feel his toes wiggle.

Wrecker's warm hand gave his shoulder another squeeze, gently bringing Crosshair back to the present moment. Crosshair glanced up at his brother's scarred face, into his concerned, mismatched eyes for a fleeting moment before shaking his head and casting his eyes back downward. Wrecker was always a good listener despite his boisterous demeanor. He never tried to talk Crosshair out of how he was feeling, or suggest solutions unless asked. He was content to be an ear to bend and a shoulder to lean on.

And Crosshair would rather be slowly digested by that massive tentacled sea creature in the bay than have all of his family members concern be directed towards him. Hunter watched and hovered too much and it only frustrated Crosshair more. Tech would listen and be sure to provide the most annoyingly practical solution. Echo was his first choice to go to about this specific issue, but he was away again and difficult to get a hold of these days. Omega, his heart softened a little thinking of her. She would drag him to the cliffs and insist they meditate, look at him with those kind, concerned eyes. His eyes.

No. Absolutely not. Wrecker was his best option at not driving Crosshair back into himself. And he was so tired, so the wall came down a bit further. He looked up quickly again to make sure Wrecker was still listening. He always was.

"And they're...often," The sniper's lips pressed into a thin line. "Almost every morning this past week," Crosshair continued. "And sometimes in the middle of the night, which are the worst," he spat out so quickly it took Wrecker a second to process what he said.

"This happened last year around this time too," Wrecker thought out loud. Crosshair cringed at the realization he'd already known, but grunted in affirmation. He had learned that sometimes this is how it goes, especially around dates with any significance, and they returned from Tantiss for the last time on this day two years ago.

Wrecker looked thoughtful for a moment before his face brightened at a sudden idea. He strode around the room and started gathering the cushions and pillows, tossing them into a pile in front of the couch.

"What are you doing?" Crosshair drawled wearily, his eyes following Wreckers movements. He was already regretting his decision to speak more freely about this.

"I'm getting comfy," Wrecker said plainly as he settled down amidst the pile of pillows, leaning back against the couch. Batcher took this as an invitation to dig out her own spot at Wrecker's side, Lula in tow, settling down with it under her chin. "See?" he said, his tone light. "Let's camp out here!" He said spreading his arms wide before returning his hands to the back of his head. "You know like back on Kamino in the training storage room whenever Tech would snore too loud?" He grinned at the memory. "Hunter would always find us and act all annoyed but he just always wanted to know where we were...and get away from Tech's snoring,"

"Still does," Crosshair snorted, one corner of his mouth curling up slightly. Admiration for his brothers pulled him out of his resolute melancholy a little more. He settled down on the other side of Batcher, resting his arm over her back like he'd done a thousand times before. The hound grumbled at him when he lifted her chin gently to retrieve Lula.

"No." Crosshair said firmly. Batcher's eyes still followed the doll but she settled back down. He held Lula before him, taking in the tattered fabric, the stains, the patches added to mend rips and burns. One of her ears was almost completely gone.

"This thing is...disgusting," Crosshair scoffed quietly, it was almost a chuckle.

"Yeah, it is," Wrecker laughed heartily. "But she's been with us the whole time. Look..." he said pointing at the burn across the doll's back. "That's from when those clanker disrupters I made for your fire puncher went off in the barracks, remember?" He smiled widely remembering how angry Tech was at them for setting his bed on fire, while he was still in it. And Wrecker's, but that was nothing new back then. He continued regaling Crosshair with anecdotes about how the blemishes were made over the years.

Wrecker suddenly yawned, stretching and settling further into the nest, "Alright if I sleep here tonight," he said drowsily, more a statement than a question, his eyes still bright. Stars, he was a terrible liar, but Crosshair appreciated his attempts to not wound his pride. To give Crosshair the choice for his company without having to ask for it.

He was working on it.

"I suppose," he drawled. It was already late when his brother came by to check on him— and it's not like Wrecker would be easily moved at this point anyway. 

Crosshair, resigned but thankful for the company, studied the tooka for a while longer. The knot in his chest loosened slightly at the reminder of the joyful and chaotic moments they've shared. Bright moments poking through the darkness like the stars studding the night sky. Instead of tucking the doll under his arm or clutching it to his chest, he stuffed it behind his head before settling back onto its familiar softness.

Crosshair folded his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and tuning in on the sounds of the insects chirping softly outside, the distant waves were harder to hear now that the tide had retreated, but still added to the calmness that now descended upon the island. Batcher grumbled in contentment, and soon Crosshair's breathing matched Wrecker's, lulling him into a more peaceful sleep than he'd had all week.

The next morning when Crosshair opened his eyes, the frightening things he may have dreamt about didn't follow him. They stayed where they belonged, far out of his periphery. The bright orange morning creeping over the horizon chased away some of the shadows from his mind. Not all of course, but, some. Wrecker and Batcher were still right beside him, both very real and sleeping soundly. He wiggled his toes experimentally. Pleased when the joints flexed on his command. He could move and get up if he wanted, but it was still far too early to rise and start the day. Instead, Crosshair did something he hasn't done in weeks- he went back to sleep.

Maybe he was still right, he thought as he drifted off again, Lula still tucked under his head. Maybe he didn't need this, but he had to admit, it helped.

[zkoh001]

Back to Ninjago ✨

I was drawing this. For 72 full hours (spread out trough like-3 months)

It doesn't look like I put 72 hours into this... (I swear my confidence went like a drunk rollecoaster while making this piece)

But alas, it is done, and I worked too hard not to share it. Behold the elemental alliance. (I can't draw armor. So the design changes are mostly because of that)

I totally got the Masters of Sound and Gravity the first few times, which is quite hilarious cause the Master of Gravity spends quite some of his screentime flying, but oh well.

Also, I tought they were related (for no particular reason) hence the positioning on the picture.

The guy on the left side of the picture was literally listed as "unknown elemental master" and I literally only added him so the proportions were more balanced (also so noone could argue it isn't finished)

I feel like his power was supposed to be lightning (based on the outfit) but then season 6 happened, and he was quietly retconned to make way for libber. I hesitated making it a father daughter situation, with him passing his powers on faster than Cole's grandfather to Lilly, but in the end, settled for making him a Master of Light.

Lilly and her father joined together, but neither of them are sure why it took so long for the power to pass down (probably after or at the very end of the First Serpentine War). They were both the type to understand it's war, and those rarely have a happy ending (in general, these people were kinda forced into this role because of their powers, some of them pretty young) Maybe the late heritance caused issues with Lilly's immune system leading to an early death? 👀🥺

I like to think the old Master of Earth was a mother hen of sons just as Lilly (it's genetic a this point). The above picture happened sometime after Garmadon's banishment.

Libber (or whatever they call the previous Master of Lightning) turned out really cute, I'm probably most satisfied with her (also gave her freckles to match Jay). I feel like we massively missed out on having her be the one to make/power Prime Empire. I mean, I get they wanted to save the mom storyline for MotM, but I'm sure you can write two separate stories revolving around parents. I also believe she joined really young, probably the youngest (and she was a menace. Also imagine if she was friends with the twins, the tragedy)

Wu and Garmadon pretty much have their canon designs (I like that they are dressed the most "traditional" out of everyone) except I added a bit more purple and gold respectively. Also, I'll mention it here, every active elemental masters have eye colours matching their elements, and their pupils are light (giving way to theories about them not even being human). The spinjitzu bros have "rings" around their pupils in the opposite color (purple for Wu, gold for Garmadon) showing the link between them and their powers.

When Garmadon is banished, Wu's eyes become completely gold, affected by their severed connection (and Garm has red eyes, but normally his would have become purple as well) Also, I kinda traced the text on their gi, cause I'm not drawing that from memory 😅

Master of Shadow was one of the first to join the Alliance, but is not the youngest member, she wanted a peaceful solution at the start, and like most of the earlier members, have a more nuanced view on the war, probably even had serpentine acquitances, which is why she looks so sad a lot of the time.

I see Ray and Maya as a kinda golden retriever, black cat dynamic. Maya was incredibly skilled, cold and precise, and one of the deadliest elemental masters (I was cooking up some story about a warrior clan she grew up in, but it's up for interpretation).

Ray meanwhile lives by the principle of "They can't know my next step... if I don't know my next step." Runs in, swords blazing, most people fighting him are just sort of. Perplexed at first.

And of course Maya didn't like him at first, but it's really hard to dislike Ray long term. (Which is how he also became Wu's best friend, despite him trying to hold a 'polite acquitances' type of relationship with the Ems. Ray is just like that) But she fell first.

Either this happened, or he went ahead of the trouble and asked him first.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand (working a lot on this means I had a lot of time to microwave these dudes, this post is looong)

Master of Ice is just that one kind of slightly creepy wise old man, who just... knows stuff. Everyone just sort of accepted that you don't ask him how or why he knows stuff, he just does. Wu and Garmadon have a tendency to follow him around (cause he's pretty similar to their father in a way), which kinda translates to everyone following him around like little ducks (even when he barely socialises with anyone lol).

Design for Master of Ice is inspired by @maydayissleepy, go check out their art!

And I already made a bunch of posts about Hands of Time and the time twins, but design wise, I just made a new one (to avoid the complex armor). When in battle, it's basically impossible to tell the two of them apart. Also, they have heterochromia because they both have two powers technically. The murky brown we see in the show is because they lost the power, but are still technically the Masters of Time, since it never passed on (if the blades broke somehow it would go back to them)

I feel like they joined later (even way later, which is why they clashed so much with the alliance) which is why they aren't mentioned in the early flashbacks (and also cause they didn't exist yet), and went kinda gungho on the war, not really knowing (or caring) for it's nuances.

Anyways, let me know what you think!

[weebsinstash]

You brought this on yourself. Bringing up Al and Doggy Darling.

Before the show was out(might've changed sense idk), Viv said Al used to actually have a fear of dogs but now only dislikes them. And I live for the idea of Al struggling with that a little bit.

Al with Dog Darling who he expects to be a total slob who can hardly keep focus, only for them to be neat and dedicated to doing any tasks given to them.

Al with a Dog Darling who constantly feels the need to do things for others even to their own detriment.

Al who falls for Dog Darling who acts more like a cat than a dog. Having learned to mute their reactions to things and who is 'ok' with being alone in fear of being used. With him wanting to eventually have them always with him or at his home, never wanting them to lift a finger.

I hate that my first instinct is always to swerve in the opposite direction but "what if Alastor had a dislike of dogs and he expects them to be a dumb slob" AND WHAT IF YOU ARE

Alastor: --and I always do enjoy adding a nice mirepoix to my dishes, although I suppose one of my favorites is a classic crawfish étoufée! Always reminds me of home!

Dog darling: ummmm.... I love pizza rolls and corn dogs! 😋 and mac n cheese!

Alastor and his lovably simple, lovably dim dog darling, with all the more extra nuances and caveats if you've got the soulmate trope in there (I've just really been huffing that gas lately ykwim? The, mechanism for them to feel metaphysically attached to you, their obsession kinda lowkey justified/explained by your sorta-soulbond, them feeling like they need to take care of you "because they're supposed to as your partner "). Alastor who thinks you're just so adorable but maybe just maybe cringes in secondhand embarrassment at some of the things that you do. Alastor who thinks, oh, you're actually so charming and, he sees quite the potential in you, but... he just needs to... fix you up a little bit... fine tune you... grind down some of those rougher edges to polish you up nice and pretty--

Also. Just. You know. The thematic lowkey flirting and menace in him like, saying he has to tame you/train you if you act against him. Having you in literal restraints just like he would with Husk and calling you a bad dog because you like. Snuck off to go to the club. Or hang out with friends he doesn't approve of.

I like my apples and oranges in my fiction and that means that on top of having yandere that love every part of you, I also think of yandere who meet you and think "oh no, honey, oh my gosh let me help you, I need to save you from yourself, what the fuck are you even doing here, just look at the state you're in" which, actually, I have a Velvette post deeper in my drafts I need to dig up, but. Like. Alastor falling for/getting drawn to/soulmated with a dog darling who is just kinda. Rowdy. Dare I say, a little trashy. Like idk, my mind conjures up an image of like, for a woman I guess it would be something similar to, you swear all the time, he doesn't like how you dress, he thinks you hang out with too many guys/the wrong types of guys, you may have an outright fratbro personality. Idk. You're just loud and rambunctious and he thinks you could be just the cutest little lady if he could just... give you a little coaching

But also. Cute lovable dog Darling who, obviously he's not entirely heartless but you just completely Flip His Switch with how sweet and loving you are to him, you just really make him feel soft and gooey. You could just be meeting him for the first time and be wagging your tail in excitement and holding your hand out for a handshake and you don't even mildly conceptualize he's, um, a cannibal serial killer. But then Alastor immediately realizes, oh no, honey, you can't be this sweet to people down here! The people down here are just AWFUL! They're terrible! The dregs of society! He can't let this sweet little pup meet some unfortunate accident involving some methed-out vagrants or something! Guess you'll have to be his little lap dog so he can keep a close eye on you. Meanwhile you're just like "!!!! Best friend!!! Thank you for being so nice to me, it's so scary down here and i was so lonely and scared before you came along 🥺"

Vox 🤝 Reader talking/getting rowdy during TV/media solidarity. Absolutely love the idea of Reader somehow becoming besties with Vox and Alastor is just BEYOND MAD because, he's trying to make you more sophisticated and, "bring out your true potential" and you're sneaking out to chug mountain dew baja blast and smoke weed with his arch nemesis while the two of you, like, marathon older seasons of Family Guy (also just envision your mental image of Dog Reader just like, excitedly being like, "oh! It's Vox! Vox! Vox! Hey Vox! Vox!" And trying to get his attention while he's on a jumbotron or something, basically saying his name like a bark, like, Alastor having old timey cartoon steam coming out of his ears while Vox is just obviously smitten with your adorable clueless ass because your tail is wagging and you're so excited to see your super cool TV friend 😋❤️ Alastor forced to watch you have total chemistry with Vox because you can talk about TV and video games amd Alastor is getting progressively enraged because HOW LONG have you guys been hanging out without him knowing??? And Vox didn't even know you knew Alastor he just legitimately liked your vibe

Reader being inevitably somewhat dehumanized and while he does adore you and want you all for himself it really almost sort of IS like you're a pet to him. He decides what you wear, what you eat, what you do, and most importantly, he really, really, REALLY doesn't like it when other people try and touch his dog :)

[misc-obeyme]

THE THREADS THAT BIND

EPILOGUE

MASTERPOST for summary/info/chapter list

a/n: This spicy epilogue is dedicated to @silverrings-n-prettythings who offered to bare knuckle box an alligator for it... twice lol. Fortunately, no alligators needed to be fought, but without Silver's encouragement, it might not have happened. So thank you for always leaving such amazing feedback in the tags, it truly means so much to me!

PLEASE NOTE: This is an epilogue. You need to have read the rest of the story to get the full impact.

I also feel the need to mention that this is very feelings heavy because of the whole relationship build up that had been happening in the main story. It just felt right, since they just kinda recently admitted their feelings for each other.

Anyway, this is the last of the story for real. Thank you for coming with me on this journey!

GN!MC x Barbatos | word count 1,910

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: oral and penetration (reader receiving), pet names, uhhh definitely also some cheesiness, I'm sorry I can't help it lol

You startled yourself awake. Moonlight filtered through the large windows in Barbatos's room, casting shadows beneath the plants and in the corners of the staircases. Beside you, partially bathed in that silver light, Barbatos was slumbering peacefully. You watched as his expression grew concerned, as one of his hands reached out for you in his sleep. Between you, the bright teal of the thread glimmered gently.

It was so rare for you to see him at rest like this, hair disheveled, expression soft in sleep. And yet the last few days, you had seen more of it than he had ever shown you before.

Barbatos shifted slightly, as though he could sense the cold space next to him where your warm body had once been. His hand stretched even further, seeking your presence.

You took it and brought it to your lips.

Barbatos blinked his eyes open. You were confronted with the unguarded feelings that filled them when he focused them on your face, as he took in the sight of you with his fingers pressed to your lips.

Where so much was normally kept hidden, you saw only openness now. Here in the quiet of night, silver splayed and teal tinged, Barbatos looked at you as though everything he had ever cared for in his long life had culminated within your heart. He looked at you as though even when that thread was gone, he would still be irrevocably tied to you. He looked at you as though that was a choice he had made for himself, come what may.

No words passed between you because everything was held in his eyes and in the thread that lingered still.

As he watched, you spread his fingers and kissed the pads of each one, holding his gaze as you did so. His hand was so perfect, despite how often it was used to scrub dishes and pull weeds. The long elegant fingers stayed limp in your grasp until you had finished bestowing your kisses. And then they reached out, his palm resting on your cheek, warm and soft.

There had been a sort of unspoken caution between you as you learned your way through the new reality of honest love. A hesitancy that you both felt to ensure that you didn't make any rash choices, that you took your time, that you learned the nuances of each other.

All of that seemed to have vanished now. Because when you looked down into those eyes, there was only one thing you wanted more than anything else in the three worlds.

Barbatos likely saw that desire in your eyes.

He sat up to meet you, one hand staying on your cheek, the other going to your waist, as he kissed you softly in the moonlight.

You considered letting it stay soft. That despite what you were feeling, it might still be too soon.

But then Barbatos bit gently on your lower lip and any caution you had been about to employ was immediately abandoned. You opened your mouth for him, felt his tongue tracing your lip before entangling itself with yours. The grip on your waist tightened. Your hand flew up to grip the edge of his slightly unbuttoned pajama shirt, fabric twisting in your fist.

You felt the hand on your waist move to slide up your own shirt, fingertips tracing lightly across your skin. You broke away with a gasp, pulling your shirt over your head before undoing the buttons on Barbatos's shirt and pushing it off of his shoulders.

Barbatos followed your lead, helping you to remove the rest of your pajamas and his, before pushing you back gently on the bed.

Barbatos paused, poised above you. The longest strands of his hair brushed softly against your cheek as you looked into his green eyes. The slight glow of the teal thread stretched between your bare chests.

"MC," Barbatos said. His voice had a reverence to it and if he wasn't a demon you would have thought it sounded like a prayer.

You didn't have a chance to respond properly because Barbatos was kissing your neck, his lips pressing down your chest, his hands rubbing down your sides. He continued until he was tucked between your thighs, at which point he looked up at you, a question in his eyes. The thread trailed across your body, a tiny path down your chest and stomach, an almost perfect outline of where his kisses still burned against your skin.

You reached out your hand, nestling your fingers into his hair. "I'm ready," you said. "I trust you."

Barbatos waited for a few moments, as though he was giving you a chance to change your mind. When you didn't, he kissed your thighs, making his way to the throbbing space between your legs. You gasped when you felt his hot mouth on you, the expert way he used his tongue to make your limbs shake.

You couldn't prevent yourself from tugging on his hair as your fingers twisted in it, the feelings washing over you too intense for you to stop it. Barbatos didn't seem to mind, not even pausing although you were certainly causing him some pain.

"Ah, Barbatos-"

At this, Barbatos did stop, looking up at you from his position between your thighs. Your hand dropped to your side, letting go of his hair as he propped himself up to look at you properly.

"I-I'm sorry," you said, blushing slightly at his intense gaze.

His expression softened. "You needn't apologize, my love. All I want is to please you. Tell me what you would like me to do."

My love.

These words caused an echo in your mind, an echo of something Barbatos had once said about someone else -

It seems my love has found us.

You were reminded of that insecurity, the small piece of doubt that still remained, that couldn't be completely eased even though Barbatos told you how he truly felt about you. Even though he had also said -

I have never loved anyone in the same way that I love you.

He had said that to you, directly. Not in a vision of a future yet to come, not to a person whose identity he still didn't know.

Barbatos seemed aware that something was passing through your mind. He sat up, pulling you up with him, wrapping his arms around you, pressing you into his chest. Your eyes were so close to the entry point of the thread as it spilled out from his skin, creating a small U before looping back into you.

"Shall I find a different term to call you?" he asked.

The tenderness of his tone filled you with a softness unlike anything you had ever known. "Like what?"

Barbatos chuckled, his breath ruffling your hair. "My darling, my dearest, my everything, my sun and my moon…"

You laughed. "Okay, okay, stop, please!"

"My cupcake," Barbatos went on. "My muffin, my sugarplum…"

"I shouldn't be surprised that you have so many pastry options," you said.

Barbatos hummed contentedly, kissing your temple. "All you have to do is tell me your preference."

You sighed. "I don't have a preference, you can call me whatever you like."

"As you wish, my little tiramisu," Barbatos said.

You shook your head, laughing because you couldn't help it.

Barbatos pulled away enough to meet your eyes. "MC, if you will allow it, I would like nothing more than to finish what I have begun." His fingers trailed down your stomach, hovering just above the heat of your arousal.

A thrill ran through you when you saw the desire that had taken over Barbatos's expression. Where one moment he had been all softness, now he was all fire, a passion blazing there that ignited the need inside you as well.

You reached up, putting your hand flat on his chest right where the thread emerged. "I want you inside me, Barbatos."

Barbatos wasted no time. He was almost methodical in the way he retrieved some lubrication from the bedside table, using it and his fingers to make sure you were fully ready. You squirmed beneath his ministrations until you couldn't take it anymore, practically begging him to put his cock in you.

Barbatos's pace slowed significantly as he lined himself up, slowly pressing himself into your heat. You trembled beneath him, the exquisite feeling of him filling you up and making you shiver. You moaned once he was fully inside you and the expression of bliss on his face let you know that he was feeling just as good as you were.

You barely registered him asking you if you were okay, all you could do was wrap your legs around his hips, your hands clutching at his shoulders, as you moaned and gasped.

You were sure you said something, likely begging him to continue, but it was all lost in the heat and the feelings.

Barbatos was slow and sweet as he began to thrust, mumbling in your ear about how much he loved you. You mostly responded with moaning and gasping, but eventually you couldn't take how slow he was going and your words turned into begging him to speed up.

Barbatos didn't hold back for long, taking his cues from you and increasing his speed as you requested. You held onto him as he hit that perfect spot inside you over and over, the feeling of him moving inside you so sweet and so good, building and building.

Barbatos pulled away from you just a little, propping himself up to look down at you. You saw that blazing passion in his eyes and the reflection of the teal thread, that bounced now as it stretched between your chest and his. Your hands clutched at his arms. You cried out his name, your back arching, as you came hard, the feeling bursting within you from deep in your gut, exploding through every nerve in your body.

You watched as Barbatos came, too, his normally calm expression running riot with how good you made him feel.

Both of you gazed at each other, breathing heavily as you came down from the highs of your orgasms, feeling the warmth of the room settle around you, the gentle sweetness of intimacy bringing you even closer.

Barbatos kissed your eyelids, your cheeks, your lips, that place on your chest where the thread still connected you to him.

You found that neither of you needed to say anything more then. Barbatos was as efficient as always, taking care of cleaning things up before coming back to the bed. The moment he was beside you, you found yourself pulling him into your arms, pressing him against you, like you were scared he might disappear if you didn't feel him close enough. He sighed against your skin and wrapped his arms around you, tucking himself into you perfectly.

You didn't know it that night, but forever after Barbatos would use random pastries as pet names for you. It was almost always something different and it made you smile every time.

Sometimes, long after the thread had finally faded, often in the night when the silver moon cast its light into the darkness of his bedroom, Barbatos would speak gently and softly into your ear, making you shiver and reminding you of a truth he was determined to make sure you never forgot. In those quiet moments, he only ever called you my love.

masterpost | chapter one | chapter thirteen

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Galileo Galilei Birthday Story

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Not proofread.

As I walked, carefully examining each bunch of grapes一

Galileo: "Mitsuki."

He suddenly called my name and pulled me close, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

(........)

Galileo: "How about these grapes? The color and shape aren't bad."

Mitsuki: "Eh, ah, grapes?"

Just as he said, a cluster of fine grapes hung heavily on the branch he pointed to.

(I'm feeling kinda silly, getting all flustered on my own like this.)

Mitsuki: "I-I think they look great. They're shiny, and the stems are thick and sturdy."

As I tried to stay composed while evaluating the grapes, he narrowed his eyes gently and smiled.

Galileo: "Apologies. It seems I gave you the wrong impression."

(Huh?)

Galileo: "Let's take some time to relax and reflect on this again later tonight."

Too shy to respond verbally, I nodded, feeling my heartbeat pick up again.

Later, thanks to the kind owner who let us use the kitchen, we brought some freshly made schiacciata back to our hotel.

Mitsuki: "Alright, let's cut it."

It was finally time to cut into the schiacciata.

Galileo: "It smells wonderful, and it looks well made."

Mitsuki: "Hehe, thank you."

(I hope he'll like the taste too.)

I handed him a piece of Schiacciata, watching in hopeful anticipation as he took a bite.

Galileo: "It’s delicious."

Mitsuki: "Really? I'm so glad."

As relief washed over me, I realized just how much pressure I'd felt.

(Maybe it's because he told me this dessert held memories of his family.)

It was almost as if I'd been afraid of tarnishing something so dear to him.

Galileo: "You should try it too."

Mitsuki: "Okay, thanks."

I took a bite, and my mouth filled with the sweet and tart flavors of the grapes. The juicy grapes burst over the springy dough, followed by the crisp, nutty flavor of the roasted seeds.

Galileo: "These grapes are juicy—not like the ones I tried making before."

Galileo: "Maybe the simplicity lets the freshness of the ingredients really shine."

Nodding at his words, I took another bite of the schiacciata, and he paused, holding his fork mid-air.

Galileo: "It truly tastes nostalgic."

(Galileo.)

From the time we met until now, he hasn't said much.

Yet, looking at Galileo in front of me, I could tell he was moved by the taste of it, as he recalled those days he spent with his family.

Galileo: "Mitsuki."

He spoke my name, his amethyst gaze resting only on me.

Galileo: "Will you make it again?"

Mitsuki: "Sure. As many times as you want."

Not long ago, he told me that his father often played a string instrument called the lute.

This time, he told me about enjoying schiacciata with his family.

(But I've never really asked about the specifics, like what kind of interactions he had with his father or what his family was like.)

(I wonder if he'll talk about those memories someday.)

(I really hope so.)

Galileo: "........"

As I gazed back at him with that wish in my heart, I noticed a slight sadness in his eyes.

Mitsuki: "It's beautiful here. You can see more stars than in Paris."

After finishing the schiacciata, we made our way to a nearby flower field.

Galileo: "It's probably because the air is so clear."

Mitsuki: "I'm glad the manager told us about this place."

When he asked if there were any good spots nearby to see the stars, the hotel manager kindly drew a map leading us to this flower field.

Galileo: "Shall we sit here?"

He stopped, looked up at the starry sky, and sat down.

As I sat beside him, he unexpectedly offered me something that looked like a thin, disc-shaped object.

Mitsuki: "This is?"

Galileo: "It's a star chart."

Galileo: "With this, you can know the approximate positions of the stars throughout the year."

Looking at it, I saw countless white dots forming a star map through an oval cut-out window.

One of the overlapping discs was designed to rotate according to the date and time markers, revealing and concealing different star maps with each turn.

(In other words, it's like a star finder from my world.)

Mitsuki: "Cool! Did you make this by hand?"

Galileo: "Yeah. I thought it might be nice for you since you've shown an interest in the stars."

That's true. Ever since I met him, I've been looking up at the sky more often because I wanted to be closer to him and see the same things he does.

(I suppose my desire to learn about the stars is the same as my desire to understand him.)

Mitsuki: "I'm so happy! Also, it's pretty cool that you could make something like this for our trip!"

Galileo: "Actually, I finished it before the trip was even decided. I just hadn't had the chance to give it to you."

Mitsuki: "Huh? But we've stargazed together recently."

Mitsuki: "Why didn't you tell me then?"

Galileo: "........."

He suddenly fell silent.

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Premium ╎ Epilogue

[dyaz-stories]

Hey there! Just wanna know, what the heck happened in the JJK manga? Is it already over? Did the characters FINALLY mourn Gojo?! I gave up trying to read the manga after 236, so I just decided to randomly hear from others. But anyways, what happened??

Hey there! BOY AM I HAPPY TO DISCUSS THAT.

(I'm sorry I have so many thoughts and you've given me an excuse to ramble so this is going to be long)

There are two chapters left in the manga, it will end on September 30th. The chapter that just came out, chapter 269, was, however, really bad imo and a terrible use of time considering how little time Gege has left. I get that he had to wrap up quick, but in my personal opinion, it's inexplicable that he'd dedicate a whole chapter to what we just saw.

(More under the cut with spoilers for chapter 269)

Okay, so, the characters spend half the chapter arguing about how they could have done a better job fighting Sukuna, even though at this point, the losses are minimal. Most of the characters who were possibly dead are fine and dandy actually (Yuta, Higuruma, Todo, Kusakabe). Choso is still dead, but he gets a little line about how that's sad (and his death scene was really good and effective, so I'm not that mad about it, even if he's a character I really loved).

It kinda feels like Gege is justifying the way the fight went, which is a bit weird. In story, I think this could make sense if it was fueled by grief and loss and more of a "this person could have been saved! and this person didn't have to die!", but it feels kind of matter of fact tbh, with Maki being pretty much the only one displaying emotions. Even she seems to be arguing about efficiency, not really about saving human lives? Other characters' responses aren't much better. Yuuji in particular looks like he's super numb to everything, which again, yes, that's a trauma response, but it doesn't make for interesting storytelling and it's not going to be explored further, so... what's the point.

Also think that Yuta desecrating Gojo's corpse isn't explored enough. He did something horrifying that turned to not be that useful — going with the manga's message that the end doesn't justify the means — and he seems fine. I guess Maki yelling at him could be explained by the fact that she was strongly against this action, but it's never made explicit, which is a shame. (think it's more implied it's because he endangered himself and she has feelings for him)

The other half of the chapter is spent on a plot point that I don't think had been developed before that, about the new shadow style. This feels like the last arc Gege wanted to have and Sukuna's fight went on for too long so he had to scrap it. The point is essentially that the head of the new shadow style school is trying to become the head of Jujutsu Society as a whole now that the clans have collapsed. There was a binding vow that made it so the head of the school could steal years from people who had learned the style and add it to their lifespan. Anyway, Mei Mei steps in and makes it so the style can become more widely used.

(If you're bored reading that, yeah, so was I)

It's not useless exactly — it definitely goes towards the manga's message of ending the cycle and starting off with a clean slate, so that's a win — but it feels super rushed. It didn't have to be rushed, could have been a decent arc, it just isn't, and again, I don't think that's a great use of pages this late in the story.

Last but not least, Gojo. Gojo gets two mentions in this chapter.

The second one is in passing, when Hakari defends Yuta's usefulness.

And the first one, oooh boy the first one,

is about how this was all Gojo's fault from the get-go anyway 😃

And again, some nuance here. Kusakabe specifically says that the kids have nothing to apologize for — which I agree with. His point is that it was Gojo's responsibility to kill Yuuji. Essentially, the idea is that he was the adult, and in not doing that, he's responsible for the kids having to live with all the consequences of his actions.

Which aaaaah I'm losing it here! Yuuji was a victim of Kenjaku's machinations from the get-go, so would it have been right to kill him? Isn't this just a trolley problem — kill Yuuji and save innocent people's lives? But then, Yuuji, Sukuna and Kenjaku's actions led to the end of jujutsu society as we know it, more or less directly, which could lead to a better future, so was he actually right, in a purely consequentialist approach?

I don't think any of that is particularly interesting to discuss at this point tbh. I feel like that had already been dealt with. I'm just deeply confused as to why we're dealing with this when there were three chapters left before this one instead of focusing on closing the curtain on beloved characters, Gojo in particular.

Anyway! Bad chapter imo. Boring. Bad use of the characters and their relationships with one another. Really questionable use of time. Gojo was not mourned and in fact it's almost like he's never existed or never mattered to anyone. No Shoko here, not a hint of sadness from Yuta either, which I had hoped for.

I'm still looking forward to the last two chapters, and I hope they'll leave more room for the characters to, you know, have feelings.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Made it to chapter 16 today which means Feyre and I have both had our first impressions of Rhysand's Inner Circle and ohhhhhhh boy

Its hard to pinpoint why exactly, but theres something so discomforting about watching them interact. I think the main thing is that for all their "casual-ness", theres still clearly a rigid hierarchy between them and they all seem to 'know their place' so to speak, its not at all like Lucien and Tamlin's relationship in the first book which genuinely felt like a friendship that was unburdened by their status or positions. Like, theres this one moment where Mor and Amren are like kinda bickering with each other i guess, and Feyre remarks that Mor is probably super powerful if she dares talk back against Amren (in an incredibly minor matter Im pretty sure but I already forgor ngl) and because this is the book where Feyre's perspective starts being Objectively Correct all the time, I guess that's true, I guess the only reason someone would dare voice their opinion on something to this friend group is if they were physically more powerful because otherwise you just level a fucking mountain during an argument

Anyway, Im gonna switch topics for a short moment but I promise this diversion is relavant to the point above. So, sometimes when I go into the anti-tags on here looking for criticisms or complaints of the books, I instead find anti-ship posts that are mainly just about trash-talking some ship, mostly ones relating to that whole Elucien/Elriel/Gwynriel shipwar, which I already have thoughts on but I'll save those for later. In any case, one day I stumbled upon this pretty long anti-elriel post about how the gifts Elain gives Azriel on winter solstice arent actually cute and it describes how she gave him like, herbs that help with headaches "because his friends are always giving him headaches" apparently. And then that post went on a whole rant about how insensitive that was of her and that she doesnt actually understand Azriel's dynamic with his close friends, but honestly, judging from this chapter Elain was absolutely spot on

And I usually wouldn't say this because yknow, its only one chapter and we're probably gonna get the nuances of their relationship later, but this is a book written by Sarah J Maas, her characters and their relationships are rarely particularly deep and, more importantly, her writing is incredibly unsubtle. If Azriel was in any way fond of his friends shenaningans I wouldve noticed it, because Feyre wouldve noticed it like 15 times during that whole dinner. But she didnt.

Its especially bad for Cassian and Azriel because it feels like Cassian thinks they have this great rapport but Azriel just genuinely kinda dislikes him. Not to mention that whole fucking mess with Azriel and Mor and Cassian and Mor having sex so she wouldnt get married off or whatever, good god how is every conversation between them not insanely awkward

Even beyond that, idk man, theyre all just so insufferable. I dont understand how Amren, ancient eldritch being trapped in a fae body that she is, can stand to be around them, I wouldve left them 5 centuries ago if I was her. I guess the explanation is that she finds the government position interesting but its like, youre SECOND to the most boring and annoying man on the planet only kinda ruling over a court that you dont even actually care about from everything Ive heard. Again, if I was in Amren's position I would not be hanging out in an APARTMENT in a boring ass city at the behest of a quartett of stupid bozos, I wouldve weaseled my way into being the personal advisor of Beron or some shit so I could watch the Vanserra Family Drama unfold live

There was one good thing about this discomforting dinner though, and that was how inexplicably gay Cassian was for Rhysand. He was really out there, looking at him with such love, calling him pretty twice in like two minutes being all "I knew I wanted a piece of him the moment I first saw him, the high lord's pretty son" like okay. I know what you are

[baiwu-jinji]

i apologize in advance if this ask sounds kinda weird, but i'm kinda curious to hear your thoughts on how the narrative treats qi rong, mostly because i think interacting only with the eng version/fandom might take some context from his character. i've seen people complaining that some fans woobify him too much, others complaining that some people treat him as a pure hate-sink when he's more than that. while i do think he's a multi-layered character, i do sometimes get the feeling that mxtx did not go easy on him, with the revised version being even crazier than before (some even say he was given a bit of onesided incestuous subtext with xl, but i wonder if that interpretation isn't just the result of weirdly translated lines in eng). i think this might be because he strikes me as a meta personification of sorts for toxic fans who place their identity and self-worth on just one person they completely idolize, and when that person is shown to be imperfect they immediately turn against them, and we know mxtx has had experience with those kinds of people.

i do think he's largely meant to be seen as unsympathetic overall, though i think there's strong nuances with his character as well. since his childhood he always lacked something and never really had a well formed identity, his prince name being symbolic of his life. he projected himself onto xl in life, and he kept on absorving the worst traits of the people around his life without really understanding them in order to feel powerful and important, from the xianle nobles to the signature traits of the other calamities. he also strikes me as very... "little brother"-coded, in the sense that he keeps looking for any sort of recognition and seems unable to mature. even when he hates xl i think he still somewhat craves his attention, and qr only developed a bit when he was forced to let go of this role by accidentally becoming a father instead. i think it's also interesting that he started out a lot like his father, but ended up sharing the fate of his mother.

i do wonder how the cn fandom views him and if he's nearly as divisive as he is here. i'd also be pretty interested in seeing some meta about him from cn fans. again, it feels like some context is missing by not speaking the language the book was originally written in...

Hi! I think the narrative basically takes the same stance as Xie Lian in its attitude towards Qi Rong, which is the sort of "I can't love you but I don't want to hate you, the best I could give you is indifference". I agree that Qi Rong isn't meant to be lovable, but MXTX isn't dismissive of him as a character either - she devoted almost an entire chapter to Qi Rong's death, let him speak his mind, and gave him some form of closure.

Qi Rong having onesided incestuous subtext with XL (!!) in the revised version is...very interesting haha, I haven't read the revised version so I can't know (someone please tell me where to get the revised version ><). Although I want to speculate that even if there is some incestuous vibes, it's not truly sexual - it's probably libido directed the wrong way when you're lusting over someone else's identity, but not over that person per se. Qi Rong lusts over XL's identity in the sense that he wants to be XL - or rather he wants to be perfect, worshipped, all-powerful etc. (bit of digression, there's an underrated psychological thriller called Cracks starring Eva Green, if you watch it you'll know what I mean)

I don't have the impression that he's truly divisive in the Chinese fandom, but then I don't engage with the Chinese fandom that much so I could totally be wrong. And I don't think any context is missing for English readers either (except maybe the humour of QR's obscene language might be lost in translation?) because human nature is the same everywhere, and Qi Rong's distorted psyche is more a matter of human nature than cultural context.

As for Chinese fandom's view of QR, there's this great meta I translated and posted a few days ago, and I found some other opinion pieces about Qi Rong on Zhihu (Chinese equivalent of Reddit), as you'll see they're quite diverse.

A lot of Chinese readers say that what stands out most about Qi Rong is his comedic role in the story because his cursing and name-calling are really funny; a lot of people also mention being really touched by his self-sacrifice to save Guzi. I found this one post that has a similar view to yours, which is QR represents MXTX's toxic fans:

"I always felt it's the author admonishing her fans in an implicit way not to be as crazy as Qi Rong [...] My guess is that the author can't ask her fans outright not to act in this way because that would hurt people who support her but are immature, however she can't turn a blind eye to these people going around provoking more resentment, so she creates QR to remind her fans not to be like QR, or they'd appear as unlikable as QR to the public. But the author still feels symathy for thse fans, so she didn't depict their representation in the novel as totally incorrigible - QR retains some humanity and is a little adorable when he starts to care about people."

I also saw opinions about the narrative (or rather Xie Lian) not going easy on Qi Rong, like this one:

"Xie Lian is clearly a very good person but why is he so heartless to QR? He eventually treated QR as a joke and a burden, but QR was once a true follower of his. At first I thought XL was perfect and cares about everyone, but he never really cared for his cousin. When I read that XL felt neither joy nor sorrow when QR died saving Guzi, my heart chilled. If XL could forgive the masses who betrayed and reviled him, why can't he forgive his cousin who once followed him whole-heartedly?"

There're also people saying that Qi Rong's potential divisiveness is what makes him a great villain, like this post:

"What MXTX's well-received villains have in common is a tragic childhood and not being loved growing up, and they only have a soft spot for one person. Although these villains did horrible deeds and are unrepentant, they all reserve some kindness in their heart for the only person who's good to them. This contrast is striking and touching, yet most likely to cause controversy. Therefore, MXTX knows very clearly how to create a memorable villain, and I admire that."

Someone else says when they read about Qi Rong they "don't know whether to laugh or cry" (XL's signature emotion hehe). They add that "this is where MXTX is successful in writing a villain - you both hate and pity him; he's infuriating, but you don't really want to see him die either."

Another view is that since Qi Rong has no filter, he sometimes serves as the truth-telling voice. For example, when XL wanted to keep Lang Qianqiu in the dark about the truth of the Gilded Banquet Massacre, Qi Rong blurted out the truth.

There's also a question posted on Zhihu that asks why people like Qi Rong, and there're some interesting answers. There's one post that says "I find him attractive because he's depicted as alluringly ghostly in a lot of fan art like vampires in Twilight" haha

Another post says they like Qi Rong "because he's guilelessly wicked, while XL and Hua Cheng are hypocrites" emmmmm

Another one says they like Qi Rong because "being Xie Lian is exhausting, he's so wronged but he just endures it all, while Qi Rong just launches verbal assults whenever someone rubs him the wrong way, it's so cathartic. The most difficult thing in the world is to be a good person, because as soon as you do one thing wrong, everyone criticises you; but if you're a bad person, even if you did just one good thing, everyone praises you for it and shows you pity".

[entertaining-two]

My Biggest Problem With Bridgerton Season 3

I wanna start by saying if you wanna stay in the positive reviews for Season 3 I totally get it, I have been too because I do truly enjoy season 3 and seeing people tear it apart sucks a lot and can take the joy out of it for some.

My biggest issue with the season and take on what could've been done slightly better will be below 🥰

So I wanna start by laying out that I think the groundwork done in previous seasons really set up Penelope to have a story be flushed out and examined when it came time for her season. I think with Colin's character things were much more nuanced because it was a lot of internal work. But the main point is everything was lined up to have both of their characters reach good growth milestones within their season to wrap up their stories.

So going into season 3 I think for those of us who didn't read the books but knew the gist of what the story was about anticipated a certain level of attention put on Colin and how he had to come back into himself. He is a character known for trying to find himself, and we see it shown in trying to marry the first girl he remotely is interested in, trying to travel to find his purpose, trying to save his friends family, traveling again for more purpose, and then when he returns to the ton and has put on a facade. So when we finished the season my annoyance was that there was not much emphasis on Colin's journey.

They dove into Penelope's extensively, her battle to be seen, to have her purpose with Lady Whistledown and letting herself be loved. But Colin, we the viewer are so set up to misunderstand him this season which is why I don't blame anyone for not grasping his character at all because they don't give us a ton to work with.

Personally, as much as I adore Penelope's character and her importance to the narrative, her character got more growth and attention than Colin did and it was technically his season as he is the "Bridgerton" in question. I truly don't think that Jess or the writers knew what to do with him to get the audience to understand his story without centering it more around Penelope's perspective. I mean the big emotional moments of the story are centered around the Featheringtons, healing the relationship with her mother, healing the relationship with her sisters etc. Which is amazing I loved it, but also I felt like Colin was just kinda.... there. Especially in the second half.

So here is a list of a few things that I think could have improved the way we see Colin's emotional journey throughout the season (I will remind you again I have not read the book so take this with a grain of salt if it is super inaccurate to that).

Flashbacks: Both previous seasons give us flashbacks for the male leads, I think that it could've been useful here as well. A few that would have been nice to see would be Colin when he is younger with his brothers older and him feeling lost in the middle of them and Daphne. Colin and Pen when they were much younger laughing/speaking candidly to each other as they got older. Or flashbacks to Edmond and Violet because we know they were friends to lovers too, perhaps this is how Colin knows what love truly is.

Colin Traveling: I think a flashback to Colin on his travels and showing him receiving no letters from his family, alone in some city and trying to find comfort in a woman/ trying to find a connection but instead it's just sex/flirting and seducing someone. - I think this would have been much more impactful than having him in a brothel right away. He clearly doesn't love being there, he is there because he wants the connection that he lacks and this is the easiest way to get it. So if we got some context into why Colin comes back a different person, I think it would make it easier for people to understand this version of himself he puts on and make it more impactful when he stops acting this way and realizes he loves Pen.

Narrating: I know the only narrator we ever have is Lady Whistledown but I think it could have been an interesting parallel to have Colin narrate more of his journal entries as the Lady Whistledown discovery happens so that we can better understand how he feels about things. I've seen quotes from the book and it seems like a great deal of the realizations happen completely in Colin's head and we can always infer things based on actions and thats fine, but I think we would have had a deeper understanding of his inner workings if we had got this instead of Colin just sitting at his desk staring or writing and guessing at what he could be thinking/feeling based on past experience.

Give them more scenes: Everyone has been saying it but it's true. I think there are some spots that could have been longer conversations or just a conversation in general. For example: When Colin walks in on Penelope getting changed and we get that longing moment from Colin, I wish Pen would have asked him to stay or something of that essence, and then we could have gotten a heart to heart moment where Penelope lets Colin explain what he is feeling about this situation a little bit more, the war between loving her wanting her but also feeling betrayed. Even if it still ended in them not being on the same page and him sleeping on the couch I think it would have given us another scene that isn't as heated especially post their wedding and how it ended. They were almost coming to an understanding until the queen was there and I think having that raw conversation soon after would have been impactful for his character arc.

Last Convo with Violet Bridgerton: Something I was confused about in Ep08 was that we saw Colin prepare to sit his mother down and explain that Penelope is Whistledown after Pen send her a letter. And instead of seeing that we see the Featherington sisters excited by the details of their ball (fun but also I think the other conversation is more meaningful and that scene could have been shorter or just cut and instead explained when guests got to the ball). Violet is a major catalyst for the previous Bridgerton siblings and their story arcs. She is a binding force, a motivator, and usually the one that gives her child the words of advice/moment that is most needed. I know we got the Kate older sister moment about secrets with Colin which I loved, but I think for Colin's character who has long been a mamas boy sensitive one it would have hit hard to have one more scene with Mama Bridgerton. Especially because in part 1 we have two big conversations between the two of them: when she tells him that her and Edmund had the courage to ask in order to break from friends into lovers, and then when she tells him he's always been the sensitive one worrying for others and that Penelope might be getting proposed to. Both of those moments were catalysts for his next actions both emotionally and physically. So imagine a last conversation with her, him explaining not just who Pen is, but his own feelings hes been dealing with, letting the other person he has trusted with his feelings the most hear the worries that have plagued his mind for the past weeks since hes found out. Explaining his worry for Pen's safety, his families safety, and his feelings of betrayal and jealousy; Violet Bridgerton would absolutely know the perfect thing to say in that moment that helps get Colin over that last small obstacle. Because truly, we don't get Colin having a full heart to heart with anyone who knows who Whistledown is besides Eloise, and Eloise just asks if he can ever forgive Pen, but we need someone older, someone Colin trusts to give him advice and hold these complicated feelings and honestly Eloise was never going to be that character for him. We needed Mama Bridgerton, to lovingly hold her sons thoughts and feelings and tell him that it is okay that he felt betrayed by the person he knew best, that it's okay that he is perhaps a little jealous of her success, but that it was also okay to love her and forgive her. But also re-affirm to Colin that she is proud of him and he is capable of the success and purpose he strives for too. As well as put Colin's mind at ease in terms of how she accepts Penelope as Lady Whistledown, having his mothers approval of it may help him accept it too. Violets approval, Violets words of understanding and assurance would help untangle the confusing thoughts that then lead Colin to that final confession of love. It would make that scene all the more impactful knowing then more about the feelings that tangled through him that we are now privy to because he spoke about them to his mother, we would now understand more fully the emotional journey he had to go on to get to that point of forgiveness and understanding.

Make up scene: I think I speak for most of the #polin community when I say that we needed a longer makeup sex scene. I think with this new found understanding, post his admission of love and purpose that was so heartfelt and beautiful, it would have been all the better with a slightly longer scene where we perhaps got a few more lines of dialogue with these two. We needed a true makeup scene where they are giggly and happy that things are finally good and they can just be truly in love with each other once again without the angst between each other. I think this would have been very satisfying story wise when taking into account that (imaging that flashback scene to Colin on his travels) Colin starts so disconnected from who he is and very lonely, but would then end having been connected to his purpose and to the person he loves who loves him just as equally.

Ultimately I love Colin and his character and I do believe we got a lot of great moments with him, however I can't help but have wished to have more. I hope that next season we get a cute, sexy, domestic side story with him and Pen where we can see him be the Colin "my wife" Bridgerton that we all love.

Let me know if any of these points you also thought could work and maybe I write them into a fic of some sort 🥲🫠 Thanks for reading all my little thoughts 💕🥰