#so much good stuff i probably haven't even mentioned but this post was long enough as it is

[alphajocklover]

just wanted to say that Uncle story you made was really good... Any chance for a part 2?

Hey everyone. I wanted to thank you all for your kind words concerning my Uncle John. After I shared what had happened to him and how I got into TF reporting, I got a lot of supportive messages (along with the regular ones that seem to think this is some sort of… kink blog? What even is that?). Because of how kind you’ve been, I thought I should update you on how everything is going. I’m sorry to say there isn’t much to update you on though. I have a good idea as to who transformed my uncle, which I’ll probably expand upon in another post (I keep saying that, I know, but I will), but what I don’t know is where he is. I haven’t got a clue where he is at the moment, but luckily I’m not the only one searching for him.

The Douchebag Revolution has been keeping an eye out for him for one. Since I help them out sometimes they’ve been helping me. They can be surprisingly nice at times, and they’re pretty sympathetic to people who have been transformed against their will, since they all were at some point. They also seem to have somehow gotten the idea that Uncle John was straight before he got transformed, but since that seems to motivate them more I haven’t corrected them.

I have members of other groups I’ve mentioned helping me too. I won’t name names, since they could get fired (or transformed), but I do have some connections at EB Jewelry, despite the company's anti-journalist policy. They’re the reason I was actually able to get some information on the company in the first place, and they’ve been using some of their connections within the company to help look for my Uncle. They haven’t found much yet, though it's because of them I can safely say that EB Jewelry isn’t involved in what happened.

Then of course there are the other TF Reporters who help, a few personal friends of my Uncle, and… Nick. My Uncles literally devilish friend, Nick. Honestly, he’s been looking harder than anyone, and I think I know why. I’ve always referred to Nick as my Uncle’s devil friend, and that's how he introduced himself to me, but… from what I’ve noticed, they were actually closer than that. It was the little things that gave it away. The look in Nick's eyes when he talks about my uncle, both fond and painful, the way he seems more desperate to find him than I do, how protective he’s been of me since my Uncle disappeared. I think he and my Uncle John were seriously involved, for quite a long time.

It’s kind of weird to realize your Uncle is, or at least was, in a long term relationship with a devil, but no matter the reason, I’m glad he's here. I don’t know If I could do all this without Nick's help. He’s half the reason I haven't been turned into a dumb hunk myself. I do worry sometimes that this is starting to get to him. Whoever transformed Uncle John has been sending… pictures, recently. He’s always transformed in a different way and with a different look, but I can just tell it’s him. They’re showing him off like some sort of trophy, using him to mock us. Nick never says anything but it’s killing him seeing my Uncle that way, I can tell.

This whole thing is my fault. I was the reason my Uncle got changed. I have to get him back. I know whoever took him is reading this post. I know you’re powerful, powerful enough that time travel, demons and capitalist don’t want to fight you. But I’m not afraid of you. I know who you are, and I’m giving you a fair warning: I’m coming for you, and I’m getting him back. No matter what.

**I’ve been meaning to do a sequel to the ‘My Uncle’ story for a while. I love big lore stories. I need to introduce the big bad soon, but there so much other stuff to write too so it might still be a bit. Hope you love this story and hope you guys can wait!**

[softxsuki]

i wanted to know for the urgent request if it could be for the obey me! boys, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, and barbatos when reader has been really down and depressed and even told them they thought about committing so they comfort them for it? i haven't gotten any comforting recently and i love your writing so i was hoping you could do this :( <3

Obey Me Boys Comforting Reader With Depression

TW: PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM, AND THOUGHTS OF SUC*DE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE RATHER THAN COMFORT YOU. THANKS

Pairing: Mammon x Gn!Reader, Levi(OM) x Gn!reader, Satan x Gn!reader, Asmo x Gn!Reader, Barbatos x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self-harming and old/new scars, depression, and mentions of reader wanting/thinking of taking their own life

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which the boys find out that MC is feeling depressed and thought of taking their own life, and that they also self-harm, so they provide MC with comfort in their own way :)

[A/N: Kya!!! Thank you so much for trusting me with your urgent request! I hope I did an okay job with it. It's been a little while since I last played Obey me, so I cam very much behind with it (and I'm stuck on the regular game bc I can't level up mu cards fast enough. rip) but I really hope this brings you some kind of comfort. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to if if you just need someone to listen to you. Feel better soon <333]

Mammon:

Mammon notices the sudden change in your mood straight away since he’s always around you

He does his best to try and cheer you up without directly confronting you about it

So he’d invite you out with him and might even spoil you with pretty things in hopes that using his money on you helps distract you from whatever you’re feeling

But that all changes when he sees your self-harm scars

Fear fills him and he knows he can’t just avoid the topic anymore, he doesn’t want to see you in pain or have you harm yourself anymore

So one day when you’re out with him in town, he softly takes your hand and leads you to a bench away from the hustle and bustle of the town

He’s a little cautious, he’s not really good with being direct about his feelings, especially not with you because he gets so nervous and this was serious…he was scared to mess up

“Y’know MC…I may not be the best person to go to about troubling things in your life, but I want ya to know that I’m here for you. I…don’t want to lose you. Actually, I can’t lose you–never. So maybe things are hard for ya right now, but you’re one of the most important people in my life. Your problems are The Great Mammon’s problems as well, so let me in, won’t ya?”

He’s awkwardly rubbing his neck now as he feels his face heating up, but at least he got everything he wanted to say out

So when you do open up to him about your depression, self-harm, and thoughts of taking your own life, he feels relieved that you are finally speaking about it with someone, but he’s also scared that you’ve been feeling that way and he had been trying to ignore it for so long

He’s scared to let you out of his sight after that, so if he shows up to your room at 3am with a spare pillow, you know why

Mammon’s always inviting you to his room as well so you can watch stuff together until you fall asleep

Extra clingy Mammon who’ll probably bug you about how you’re feelings every few minutes, but at least you know someone cares

You’d find all your issues slowly dissolving as he covers you with love and attention, just don’t block him out

Leviathan:

Oh boy, Levi is very overdramatic when he finds out what’s been going on with you

He’s beyond scared to lose you–you’re his only best friend after all, the one who truly understands him and cares for him unconditionally

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t realize MC. I’m such a good-for-nothing. I can’t even tell when the person I care about the most is going through a tough time. Y-you’re amazing MC! You’re one of the best people I know, unlike all these other normies out there. You’re always so kind to me and I just hate that I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me…”

Yeah, he’s definitely beating himself up about it because how could he not realize???

“You’re always here for me, that’s why you’re the only one I felt comfortable telling this to. Please don’t blame yourself…I kinda didn’t want anyone to know at first; I thought I could deal with it on my own…” You’d explain to him

He’s a little relieved to hear it, but it still won’t make him feel any better

Levi is always throwing himself in the ground, so not being there for you at a time when you really needed him AND when he could have potentially lost you, scares him to death

Like Mammon, he keeps you by his side, but in your room since he sleeps in his tub and that’s not very comfortable for you LOL

He’d move all his games and game stations into your room and make a little base there to stay by your side until you’re feeling better

He probably goes to one of his older brothers who are more responsible like Lucifer or Satan and asks for their advice (without giving you away ofc. He’d make it sound like one of his online friends are dealing with this issue since you only trusted him with this info)

He’s very awkward and shy at times, but he’s glad that you trusted him to let him in on the pain you were feeling internally. He makes it his mission (literally, like he’s playing a game, but knowing that it’s far more serious) to get you back on your feet and in a better mental state

And we all know Levi is good at games, so this is one he won’t fail either :)

Satan:

Satan reads a lot, books of all genres, so he picked up on your sudden change in behavior very quickly and he’s actually the one who goes to you first to talk about it

“What’s going on?” He bluntly asks one day when you’re in his room reading with him in a peaceful silence

That catches you off guard…did he know? You could see the serious look on his face so you decide to just open up to him about everything; the depression, the self-harm, and even the thoughts that flash through your mind of taking your own life

Satan listens silently as you speak, taking in all your words and you see his eyes soften the more you reveal to him

“I see…” he’s lost in thought for a moment, but then stands up and walks over to you, taking your hands in his as he leaves a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. “I knew something was up, but I wanted to hear it from you before I assumed too much. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I’m here though, and now that I know what’s going on, I’ll do anything and everything I can to ensure you feel better.”

And he really will

Whenever you come over to his room to do your daily reading together in each others presence, he spends his time reading books on mental health that give him plenty of advice on how to best help you

He isn’t overbearing though, he gives you your space and allows you to reach out to him whenever you need him, only checking up on you when it seems appropriate so you don’t feel suffocated, but deep down he is worried and scared to lose you

So he offers you his own help, but also asks if you’d like to go to the human world to see or speak to a professional who might be more helpful to you than he could be

He even volunteers to go along with you if you don’t want to go alone–he just wants you to be happy again to not feel so claustrophobic in your own skin

Whatever you decide to do, just know that you have his 10000000% support

Asmodeus:

This man is very dramatic as well, but in a different way than Levi…

He throws tons of compliments your way in hopes that they help lift you up, but really, he’s better at giving physical acts of care

SO, your self-harm scars? He goes out of his way to wash them up and lotion them up, pressing small kisses the the older scars and newer ones as well

“Even with these marks, your skin is still as soft and beautiful as ever, darling. My lovely MC, I’ll do everything I can to take care of you from now on. I’ll pamper you everyday and remind you how much you mean to me, so please don’t harm yourself any longer…”

Asmo isn’t one to be very serious at times, but he knows now isn’t the time to joke around with you, so he’s uncharacteristically very serious, yet still as charming as ever

He’ll treat you to extra tight hugs and kisses, a little scared to let go in fear that he’d never be able to hold you again, so bear with him a little…he can be a bit suffocating

He isn’t the best listener or remarkably great at giving advice that doesn’t have anything to do with fashion or beauty, so he’d probably go to Lucifer for help, or maybe even Solomon, who’s more familiar with human emotions like depression

Anything you need or want, Asmo will get it for you

Get ready to feel more loved than you’ve ever felt before in your life

Barbatos:

He knows…of course he knows, Barbatos knows everything 😀

The first time you attempted to self-harm, he was there to stop you, so you never even got the chance

What he didn’t know about though was your thoughts of attempting to take your life, since you never actually made the move to do it, you only really thought about it

So when he sits down with you to hear you out about attempting to self-harm and you open up about your other darker secrets as well, he’s shocked

Momentarily, it’ll show on his face, but he’ll catch himself and gently smile to you as you continue to speak your mind

He doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by any of this or to beat yourself up for getting caught or for feeling what you feel–you were human and humans experienced moments of intense emotions that they can’t control sometimes, he understood this very well

“Oh dear MC, I am relieved that I was able to stop you this time. Though, I must admit I do feel particularly regretful that I am not able to read minds so I could put your own mind to rest from your dark thoughts. Now that I am aware of everything, I shall do my best to assist you in recovering mentally”

He’s not the most emotional guy out there, but you know he cares for you and when Barbatos dedicates his time and attention to something, he WILL get it done

Barbatos takes your hand in his and presses a delicate kiss onto each of your fingers, and leans his head onto the back of your hand, in almost a way that he’s ready and willing to serve you (not that he didn’t already, but it’s more of like his own way of physically showing his dedication to you??? Does that make sense? KINDA like when a knight is knighted and vows to protect whoever he’s assigned to??? Am I making sense? hopefully…)

He doesn’t need to keep an eye on you because he’d be able to stop you anyway if you ever decided to do anything drastic, but he does free up time in his busy schedule to be with you, he’s dedicated to serving Diavolo, but you very quickly become his number one priority (you already were, but he was never aware of it himself lol)

I don’t know, but I just feel like Barbatos is such a soothing person to be with, his voice is like silk, it wraps you up like a warm blanket and feels like a big tight hug when you need it the most

SO I imagine you’d feel better pretty quickly with all the attention he’s giving you, and the warm tea he makes you????! You’re set for life, get ready to feel brand new

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 7/11/2023

[batsplat]

ok, in light of casey and vale’s reunion at the ranch. what are your top 5 or maybe 10 motogp feud developments of the year? could be something like casevale link up or someone saying something insane or it could be some insane fact that you’ve uncovered this year which changed/added to your perception of some rivalry?

excellent ask. obviously I got sent this around the time of the actual ranch visit and prevaricated on answering it, partly because one of my personal top three feud related revelations had not as yet been posted. now it HAS been posted - and while there's other as-yet-unposted material that would probably make this list, I'll have a crack at it with what we've got lol. also, this isn't a particularly balanced list... because obviously 'stuff I've found out this year' is a pretty big caveat. I haven't found out that much stuff this year! generally it's been to do with sete/valentino tbh, and most of it is stuff I've been sent by other people. I've been slacking on doing my own feud research. so as much as I'd like to sneak in a dovi/jorge cameo or whatever, unfortunately there's quite a few feuds where we are currently in a bit of a stagnation period... no real advances in the field I'm afraid. I've decided to go for the nice and round number of six items as nobody's attention will last that long anyway. no need to overdo things

6. casey mentioning valentino's qatar 2007 head rub three times in his autobiography: okay, look, there's a slightly irritating element to this discovery in that... y'know. I could've figured this one out YEARS ago because it literally just relies on reading casey's autobiography closely enough. which you'd think I would have done by now. the process by which I cobbled this one together has been documented here, and now we obviously also have a lovely gif of the moment itself at our disposal. just to refresh everyone's memory, even the bloody photo itself made it to the autobiography:

I love this! casey's so deeply weird about valentino and he's so repressed about it and he lets it slip in such funny ways. such a short moment for it to live so incredibly rent free in casey's mind. as always, it is important to note that casey is not giving an accurate recollection of events. I have little way of knowing whether valentino was still friendly to casey away from the track - but I can use casey's own metric of direct post-race interactions and tell you categorically that valentino continues to warmly congratulate casey after early 2007. there's this fun little technique I use to assess casey's claims called 'the power of my own eyes'

mugello 2009 first time vale lost his home race in a bajillion years and this is how he acts with casey on the podium... let's start a conversation

the underlying reasons for why casey takes such liberties in narrativising the rivalry have been previously discussed in much depth in this parish - and as ever it is fun and neat to note how casey's narrative has become accepted because he has taken advantage of a prevalent narrative about valentino and his affinity for feuding. old tricks used against the teacher!! mainly, though, this kind of thing is a fun little reminder of how rewarding it is to do a lot of reading between the lines where casey is concerned. he does let a lot slip, if you know where to look

5. jerez 2024, the weekend experience: I was thinking about putting something related to the pecco/marc set-up for next year in this post but quite honestly I am increasingly pessimistic about how that will unfold. like,, I do think there's plenty of stuff there and that in this kind of scenario any two of prime jorge, casey and valentino would start stabbing each other, any two of prime jorge and valentino could get something going with pecco, and marc would start a war with any of those three. but I'm just not convinced about this specific combination... and sometimes it's a good idea to set your expectations low. so unfortunately we continue to have to rely on old feuds to keep us fed, which means that valentino's link to pecco somehow remains the most surefire source of narrative tension. I don't particularly like this state of affairs and maybe somebody below the age of 35 should start pulling their weight, but it is what it is. sometimes you just have to contend yourself with archival research. anyway, I really enjoyed jerez!! it was fun having valentino there for all that stuff, the marc/pecco duel was only second to jorge/pecco sepang in terms of on-track thrills, plus repeatedly cutting back on marc does kinda feel like #heritage at this point. grateful that bez moved his ass once this season to get valentino to parc fermé

but above all I really enjoyed that valentino description of marc - how marc attempts to show his superiority over his opponent and that 'when he sees that you are less strong or are already bleeding, he bites harder'. that's lovely stuff. obviously valentino is correct in his assessment of marc... but what makes the whole thing more fun and dramatically juicy is that especially that second part is even more true of valentino himself. valentino sniffing out weakness is basically his entire MO as a rider, including in very practical terms how he likes to study and put pressure on his opponents during races. he's also someone who's always liked to attack from a position of strength - you see this most obviously in the 2008-09 period and it is something jorge himself acknowledges quite explicitly in his biography. idk, something about seeing a little bit of yourself in your enemy... and yeah, 'biting your rival harder when they are already bleeding' is just such a poetic little phrase that I've made heavy use of it since then. old man's still got it

4. what hrc was told at qatar 2004: this is another one of those slightly annoying ones where I suppose I theoretically could have found this out years before I did, but. having finally had the chance to watch the footage from that route 46 route 93 documentary and the bits about sete, twas very much worthwhile. I really enjoyed what valentino said, just a nicely rich text especially given the scarcity of comments he's made since 2004 - but I was particularly interested in the testimony from juan martinez, sete's crew chief. both of which are discussed in some depth here. as far as I can tell, martinez did quite literally say him and sete talked to hrc about the little grid rubber trick valentino's team pulled, which?? he claims it's for 'safety reasons' to try and convince them everybody needed the track cleaned - which is all well and good, but you don't need to be a witch to guess what hrc was going to do with that information

this testimony plus a few more details I've unearthed but haven't posted - primarily relating to the actions of fausto gresini and other honda bigwigs that day - make me increasingly convinced that valentino did have a legitimate grievance at qatar. including directed towards sete. obviously, the manner in which he responded to said grievance was still completely mental... but idk, I'd always had a sneaking suspicion that there had to be something to valentino's accusation. which makes sete's arc throughout that 2004 season and especially from qatar to sepang even more interesting!! I do think he wasn't being entirely honest in that sepang presser, but I also think he panicked a bit for fairly understandable reasons. idk obviously this is just such a fascinating few weeks for everyone involved, so I'm thrilled how I've found out so much more about that time period in such a short amount of time. again, mostly not off the back of my own research!! but I am grateful for what I have been allowed to Divine

3. valentino's podcast adventures: I still haven't talked properly about what valentino said about jorge but I will and I should, because those bits are all pretty enjoyable and fit into the rivalry write-up I did earlier this year. also, the casey stuff was excellent!! more of the valentino ambition vs casey talent theme, plus just some fun descriptions of laguna 2008 I will absolutely integrate into my long post about that race. nothing NEW exactly, but it's always nice having someone confirm your working. and the marc stuff was really fun!! obviously I was particularly keen on the alzamora stuff because I've always felt like there had to be more to his role. the argentina 2015 stuff is just really interesting in relation to what jorge has said (perhaps reflecting paddock gossip at the time question mark) that marc felt valentino deliberately made him crash, so you get into this excellent mutual j'accuse situation. and assen!! obviously valentino's description of marc's attitude isn't particularly novel since it does chime with what we have actual footage of in the presser, but the idea of a private lil confrontation is so much fun. especially paired with marc saying at sachsenring he felt assen was his best race of the season!! 2015 is one of the best puzzle box seasons to try and unravel what 'really happened' and why - and we really haven't gotten new details from one of the two blokes involved that often over the years. always appreciate some additional insight

and obviously the best bit - zero mention of sete. friendships, rivalries, even feuds can fade... curses last forever

2. the 'ciao sete' shirt valentino wore in 2004: which has now been posted here, god bless. this has been living rent free in my mind for weeks at this point, not a day has passed where I haven't thought about it. it has singlehandedly made motogp-blogging on this website worth it because I doubt I would have ever discovered it myself. I love this so so dearly. look at this absolute cunt

a third t-shirt has hit late 2004 feuding towers

first of all, that's a dyke aunt. that is a mother. some deep concentrated evil lesbian energy. I'm not straight but he can get it. second of all, what the FUCK is wrong with you. the best part is that this has been sent to me along with a steady diet of extra details confirming they were like. properly properly friends before all this shit went down, which makes every additional feud-related revelation particularly wild. they were close!! it's so brutal, it's so malicious, it is INCREDIBLY funny and I laugh every time I see those photos. I love the playful edge, the double meaning of 'bye thirst', that marriage of joy and cruelty that is so quintessential to the arc he goes on that year. just having a laff... one dead, dozens injured. I feel like I increasingly have a handle on why valentino went SO far with sete and what it was specifically about losing to sete that drove valentino nuts, which does also leave me with rather a lot of sympathy for poor sete in all this. endless ritual humiliation is one hell of a punishment for your former friend to inflict. that being said, unfortunately it is also hilarious. ah well

1. CASEY VISITED VALENTINO AT THE RANCH: casey!! visited!! valentino!! at!! the!! ranch!! CASEY VISITED VALENTINO AT THE RANCH. out of NOWHERE too, just suddenly opened tumblr to a bunch of asks and messages on a random sunday evening. I'd previously expressed myself sceptical on the vale/casey dinner front, feeling rather safe and secure in the knowledge they had not done so in the twelve years since casey's retirement. which, y'know. fantastic timing, lads. but I still think my reasoning mostly holds up - obviously, this was a more casual 'valentino harassing casey into sticking around' affair and not quite the soul-searching soul-baring exercise in exorcisms casey might be looking for. and idk, just vindicating of my general read of that relationship. casey's feelings towards valentino are extremely complicated - this weird cocktail of how he feels about valentino as a person and then valentino the character and also valentino the literal embodiment of the sport. valentino doesn't hate casey... and crucially, he also does not seem to particularly mind casey's bi-yearly habit of talking shit about valentino. I mean, come on, SOME of that stuff must get back to valentino. I'm consistent in my stance that - while casey obviously has plenty of legitimate grievances - I do also think valentino could reasonably take issue with some of the ways casey has characterised valentino and their rivalry. if valentino has his complaints, he's clearly not about to share with the class - and there's really not any bitterness whatsoever in how he's talked about casey these last few years. he's content to pass the reigns to casey in narrativising their rivalry to the public. pretty interesting, no?

idk, I like how true the entire ranch visit felt to their dynamic... valentino might have done what he needed to do to beat casey, but there was never any real personal animosity on his end - at most their intense bickering during 2010-12, but even there it was never that serious to valentino. and now, that's all done with as far as he's concerned... the door is open, if casey wants it to be. and casey, always just a bit more cautious and wary and far more conflicted, who clearly still has all these grievances relating to valentino he needs to share with the world... but when they're actually face-to-face, those have always had a habit of falling away. valentino in all his boundless enthusiasm and sincere belief that casey is as good a rider as they come, dragging around his erstwhile rival to proudly show him around his precious home. and casey, who once idolised valentino and perhaps even wished they could have been friends, allowing himself to be dragged along. it was sweet... it warmed my cold dead heart. I liked it. and I am going to laugh very hard indeed when casey gives his next interview discussing how valentino taught him about the horrors of the human condition

[doraambrose]

I normally don't really feel comfortable discussing NSFW topics, but I've seen an increase in a very specific type of jason todd content, mostly from one user in particular, that, to me personally, is kind of weird and inaccurate.

Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to kink shame anyone or attack anyone. As long as it's consensual, legal, and not hurting anyone, do what makes you happy. This particular subject is just not for me and this post is going to be more about my headcannons that I've based on canon events as well as my own opinion of jason todd.

🚨Warning: NSFW topics such as:

choking, rough play, foreplay, controlling and dominant behaviors during sex, crying during sex, talking during sex, talking down to someone during sex, making fun of someone during sex, vaginal sex, oral sex (female and male), daddy and mommy kinks kinks. Submissive behaviors during sex.

I've never done a trigger warning so please let me know if I did this right.

So, I've seen an increase in a particular kind of jason content, mostly fueled by like 1 or 2 specific users, portraying jason as this real rough, dominant dude who likes to degrade and choke during sex. I don't really like blocking people, but I might have to block these users. Don't get me wrong, they're not doing anything wrong, it just makes me uncomfortable, personally, as someone who's not into choking or stuff like that. and they don't put the read more line so you kind of have to see it when you're scrolling. I also find it completely inaccurate. Like the people requesting these and writing these looked at one or two images of jason but don't really know anything about the character themselves. So, I'm gonna put some of my own headcannons as someone who has studied this dude for a few years now:

First, Judd Winnick has confirmed over Twitter that jason cries during sex. Now obviously, judd winnick doesn't own Jason and many writers have their own interpretation, but winnick is basically the father and creator of post resurrection Jason and kind of set the blueprint for his behaviors, beliefs, etc. So for that reason, when he posts his own headcannons about jason, I feel more obligated (if that's the right word) to kind of accept it as canon, even when it's really not.

It also just makes sense. It's not as widely talked about, but it's very normal and natural to cry after an orgasm. Sex for a lot of people is considered a very intimate act and an orgasm is like an explosion of pleasure. It can be a little much for people, especially those who haven't experienced it alot, and some people (like myself) don't always know how to handle that much stimulus and feeling all at once and crying is a normal reaction to that. And jason is someone who's not the most intimate person.

Second, I feel like Jason is inexperienced. A lot of these blurbs have him knowing exactly what to do, what spots to hit, totally experienced and "professional". We're talking about a guy who spent 12 years in poverty, 3 years as robin while also being in school, dead, and then training with the league while battling mental illness, ptsd, brain damage, etc. And then in under the red hood, he's very focused on his plan. Even after that in general, he's with the outlaws, on a case, you name it. Dude is always busy with something work wise. I don't see him having a lot of time and energy to be fucking enough to not be awkward.

Speaking of awkward, I've always headcannoned that dude has ZERO rizz. All the reasons I mentioned above, he's probably super socially awkward. That dude is definitely terrible at dirty talk like the stuff I see in those blurbs. I mean, even Isabel has canonically said jason is not a very good kisser.

Third, I DOUBT he's into choking or being rough. All the abuse and shit he's been through, i headcannon that he is more like the opposite. It's intimate, relaxed, soft, etc. He can get a little intense, but not rough or anything.

He's probably actually what some would consider "boring". Pretty standard missionary stuff, maybe sometimes he's getting ridden , probably has oral and stuff, but he does not strike me as a kinky guy

Dude also probably has a normal average dick. I've seen some "8 inches" type shit. Really? 8 inches? I don't remember exactly what the average is in the us, but I'm pretty sure it's like 5 or 6inches.

I can't explain this one, but it's a pretty common headcannon for no real reason, but the vibes, jason is an ass and thighs man. Enough said.

As much as I'd love to think he's the kind of guy who loves spooning and all that, I feel like he's actually the opposite. Bare minimum aftercare kind of stuff and then he's back in his own head again.

I apologize for the explicit subject matter. There's probably more that I'm not thinking of off the top of my head, but those are the big ones for me. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[cacodaemonia]

You seem to know a lot about AO3, do you know how to engage more of your readers? I’ve been trying to get comments on my fics but all I get is kudos. I just want to know if people are enjoying my writing

Hi there! I definitely wouldn't say I'm an expert when it comes to AO3, but I find the fandom culture around AO3 to be really interesting, so I do talk about it a lot, haha. I've only been posting works there since 2019, though, and I'm sure folks who have been doing so for longer or have volunteered as tag wranglers or on the policy & abuse committee, for example, would know a lot more than I do. <3

But I'm really sorry to hear that you only get kudos and no comments on your fics! That really sucks. :( Like you said, you have no idea what those people actually think about what you made—just that they consumed it.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'm a good person to ask about getting readers to interact because I post both fanart and fanfics, which isn't super common, at least among people I know. I'm pretty sure that most of the folks who comment on my works followed me from Tumblr to AO3 back when I used to post art here. If I wanted to share nsfw images, I could only post cropped versions of them on Tumblr, so I would sometimes do that and link to the full image over on AO3. I suspect that's a big reason why I even have subscribers on AO3, haha. My writing certainly isn't better than that of plenty of people who also write for very niche ships and don't get as many kind comments as I do.

I also started out in my current fandom making art and writing about more popular characters until I quickly shifted focus when I found some that I like much more 😂 But I'm sure that quite a few people found my stuff because of those old works, and some of them probably stuck around.

Speaking of popular... This isn't something I do because I'm only motivated to make things that I like, but of course, there's always the 'write stuff for popular ships/characters' option. :/ Even now, when I happen to include fan favorites in my fics or art, all kinds of people come out of the woodwork to comment on them. And because I'm a contrary ass, that then makes me not want to create works featuring those ships or characters XD;;; But anyway, that is one option, haha.

A friend recently told me that they started asking little questions in the notes of each chapter of their fics, and that seemed to encourage readers to respond in the comments, so maybe that would be a good thing to try? I haven't tested it, so I can't say.

One thing I have tried that I think has made a difference is adding a blurb in the end notes of my works that I got from @longlivefeedback! They have a great template that you can customize and try out if you like (just make sure to read the bug fix part about curly/smart quotes versus straight quotes, since the curly quotes will kill your html).

One tried and true method to get more people commenting on your fics, of course, is to get to know people who also like the fandom/characters/ships you write about. Read some of their stuff or comment on their art or just chat about headcanons etc. And maybe they'll check out what you wrote.

(My caveat to this would be: do not do this with the sole purpose of getting someone to comment on your fics. I've had plenty of people do this to me, and it was so transparent that they had no interest in me as a person, but just wanted me to draw their OCs or scenes from their fic, or reblog their art, etc. Trying to manipulate someone like that just for your own gain is such gross behavior, and of course, I'm not saying you would do it, but it's common enough that I wanted to mention it 😓)

Okay, unsurprisingly, this got very long and rambling, haha. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but I hope you get more folks interested in your writing!

I'd be curious to know if other people have advice for @sonofhighrock! :)

[alvfr]

can i ask how long have you been writing? it blows my mind how good it is. you are very gifted and we’re all so lucky to get to read your works for free and i really hope you publish something big one day

also do you have any tips for new writers? i’ve been writing intermittently for some time but i still find it so hard not to compare myself and get bummed out or discouraged when there’s writing like yours out there 💔

Ps: I’m loving all the snippets of everything you’ve posted. keep up!

Oh, probably forever? I mean, I was making up stories before I could write and made small books by hand before I could type and I remember using my grandfather's clunky old laptop to painstakingly write my first "real" stories after I started school.

I started writing in English when I was probably 12-13 years old though and I'm 30 now so it's been a while. I posted some stuff on Quizilla back in the day (which oddly wasn't fanfic, but original stories), and I posted my first story on FFN when I was around 20 years old I think?

I go through periods of time where I write a lot and then I don't write at all for a while, mostly because real life gets in the way or something drains my creative energy. Like I couldn't write more than one sentence at a time the first year after I had my baby. Not because I didn't have time, but because the baby took all my focus and I did not have anything leftover to be creative.

Anyway, I think my best tip for new writers is just to write a lot. Like allow yourself to practice, to be bad, to experiment, to learn - just like you would any other hobby, you know? I have posted more than 1 million words on AO3, but I probably have more than twice that much that I'm never going to post that's just collecting dust in my dropbox. And that's fine! It's just practice!

Right now, I'm trying to re-learn how to write in my own language again (Norwegian) because it sounds awkward and weird to my ears and that is probably because I haven't written in Norwegian since I left high school - I need to practice.

Also, be careful comparing your first draft with someone else's finished product. I don't spend too much time editing my fanfics (because it takes the fun out of it and I never make progress), but even I re-read my writing a few times and change phrasings here and there to make it flow better. I personally like to read everything out loud (making funny voices during dialogue) to catch if it flows how I want it to flow.

Another tip is to read a lot. Preferably published books, but fanfiction too. I'm a bit weird here because I can't read fanfiction for the fandom I'm writing for and that is just because I know I will start to compare myself to others and be discouraged, just like you mentioned. Both when it comes to writing style and level of engagement. I mean, some fics have 1000s of notes or kudos/comments and I start wondering how bad my writing is because it doesn't get the same response. At one point, I almost wished someone would post a bad review of my story because it would have felt better than the complete radio silence I received. Truth is, I think engagement is mostly related to coincidence. Summaries, tags and format matters, of course, but after that it's just down to luck. If you're lucky, your story will find its readers and if you're especially lucky, those readers will let you know that they liked it :)

I'm wary of reading nothing but fanfiction though because we fanfic writers tend to get influenced by each other and use a lot of the same expressions, I think. There's a reason I never have characters smirk, chuckle or hum anymore because I'm still traumatized by how much I used that when I started writing. It's bad enough with how much eyebrow quirking and raising I manage to add in a single story. Also when it comes to characterizations, I try to stay true to the source material, but it's easy to mistake fanon for canon when you read too much of the same stuff.

Sorry, this got super long. I'm just sorry to hear that you're discouraged, especially because I am the exact same way when it comes to comparing myself to others. We are our own worst critics, but I highly encourage you to keep writing! I cringe when I look back at my first stories, but I would never have improved if I hadn't written those stories in the first place :)

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep 3 Rewatch Thoughts

Hi friends! Here we are at ep 3, and these posts are getting longer by the episode so grab a lil snack and some water if you want <3 I had to make a part 2 because the number of images got to be too many (linked here and below)

The opening continues to slap (plus I think I've listened to it enough times I think I can sing along with the chorus despite not knowing more than 8 Thai words)

Recap spanks hehe

Opening the episode up strong with this beauty (am I talking about the bike or Phayu in the folded coverall? clearly it's both)

SCHEMING CUTIE ALERT!!! That's the Sky-is-my-new-favorite-person smile <3

I'm dyingggg - Phayu says "I'm still waiting Rain" but bro, it's only been like 10 hours since the declaration of love-war, please calm down

Oops I realized I haven't been mentioning the episode titles - this one is so cute! 'I like Rain, and I'm not talking about the weather" but tbf this should have been episode 1's title

Live footage of me crying over my schedule as a grad student:

Dang, Sky has got a good poker face

Also Rain and I are equally dumb (I'm including myself here bc if I didn't already know Prapai and Sky were going to have a storyline I probably wouldn't have assumed he liked guys right off the bat) - Sky didn't even flinch when Rain writes down his mission to court Phayu (a guy) and immediately writes down the first tactic. WHICH incidentally is "show up in front of him every day". It's pretty full-circle that Prapai uses this same tactic to woo Sky later on, isn't it? (I also didn't notice that until right now so wow these rewatch posts are helping my analysis skills lmao)

Look at my determined son!! He's gonna get his mans!! (Sky's looking a little skeptical tho)

Ah Sig my beloved other son who has a single braincell bouncing around in his head like a DVD player screensaver

The Rain-at-the-garage montage contains so many cute shots but this would get too long if I put every single one in, so let's focus on the first meeting with the brothers-in-law (P'Saifah and Rain). How much must Phayu have described Rain for P'Saifah to instantly know who he is on sight? Also P'Saifah probably reported back to Phayu immediately and I'm kinda sad we don't get to see that convo.

I didn't catch this until now but they also foreshadowed Rain missing a deadline in the next scene. Sky tells Rain to finish his work but as soon as Phayu texts him, Rain runs out of the room without having done anything.

Listen, I love P'Aon and his matchmaking skills ok??

Look at Rain, he's trying so hard to be polite with the P'Phayu and the khrap - what a good boy! It's taking everything in him tho lmaooo

The conversation that comes right after this between P'Saifah and Rain is pretty interesting. I love how the narrative keeps trying to tell us that Phayu is some sort of dangerous fellow when all he's done is be a model student and mechanic and teach college freshmen good manners. Could he maybe learn a little something about physical boundaries? Perhaps, but maybe it's just how kind-looking Boss is, but I never got any sense of danger from Phayu, and esp not towards Rain. Rain's reaction to hearing presumably about Phayu's past relationships is quite on-point, and really cements the stubborn and determined attitude he takes towards getting Phayu to like him. It's how we as the audience know he's gonna be successful.

Next up, Phayu arrives in all his fashionably-late glory. This part has me smirking every time because he walks in all suave and stuff but approximately 7 seconds into Rain's pouting he immediately drops all pretenses and becomes so squishy and soft

I LOVE this exchange between them - again, we are getting a full picture of their early relationship dynamics. Phayu has expectations that Rain's gonna be different, and Rain's telling him he's gonna meet those expectations, and Phayu's satisfied "ah just as I thought" face makes an appearance.

I absolutely adore this expression on Rain/Noeul - it's so subtle but powerful

Yay dinner date!! Phayu is taking so many mental notes right here (also pls note this is the same face Rain is making right above)

Phayu is way too good at pressing Rain's buttons omg - he really got Rain to do this with like a single sentence of teasing (tbf Rain is pretty impulsive tho so I'm not surprised)

The poor serviceperson was like pls let me go

Phayu goes through this episode looking wayyy too satisfied imo

But Rain actually does have nice manners - he gave Phayu the utensils and bowl first and does say thank you

This smile should be illegal actually bc it is stealing my heart and soul

And we get another instance of Phayu being very not immune to Rain's pout (this time he doesn't even get to pout for 3 whole seconds before concerned Phayu is feeding him and patting his mouth with a napkin)

We get some more foreshadowing that Rain is going to miss a deadline

ok THIS. These small gestures that Phayu does for Rain have me swooning just as much as their intimate scenes. Something about that sentence is grammatically incorrect but you get my point, right? They could have easily not included them (and idk if these were even scripted) but they make the relationship that much sweeter and believable.

Slightly off-screen headpat alert!!

AND WE GET IT IN POV SHOT TOO

Live footage of us whenever PhayuRain do anything:

Get you someone who looks at you the way Sig looks at his writing utensil (Have I mentioned I adore him yet?)

Also wait he's not wrong!!!

We get Rain's voice jumping like 10 octaves this time lmao (the increase is proportional to how much he loves Phayu obvs)

Look at our smart boy!! He's won design awards, y'know

Phayu you are not allowed to bully P'Aon like this - he's literally on your side??

Rain: I don't want to see Phayu

Also Rain: ignores Ple, the teachers, his friends, his homework to run to the garage to give Phayu snacks

Part 2 here (y'all we're literally only halfway through the episode omg)

[gay-robot-boyfriends]

Sooooooo, I saw the post with the ask about Vile HCs and how you rambled on about it, seeing the ending mentioning you have a lot of VileX HCs.

So allow me to be the enabler to hearing about such HCs with this ship in question, VileX.

(Random Vile art so the post doesn't feel as naked dsdhsha!) OMG, you mean I get to ramble about my beloved again? <3 This is going to be a long one! So I got both HCs and a bit of AU. GET READY!

Disclaimer: I understand that this irl relationship would not be healthy; however, it is all for fun and should be viewed as a sitcom. A lot of it is silliness and sexual tension (I won't go into detail here), but consent is very important to me, so it is definitely present here. I brainstormed a lot of this with my friend @raerrui.

Headcanons:

So, no one at HQ knows how those two ended up together or why X would even consider someone like Vile, but no one questions it too much.

Vile likes X in the same way that he likes his favourite cannon. He cleans and names his cannons, is a weapons nerd, and does not want anyone else to touch them.

As a reploid created from for war, I don't believe the prospect of love is possible for him.

He doesn't get the romantic human mushy crap X is into and probably thinks a lot of it is stupid, but whatever makes his rookie happy. A happy rookie does not whine, nag, or cry, all of which Vile finds annoying.

So, in that sense, he treats X in the same way he would his weapons. When something is broken, you fix it. When someone messes with your weapons, you break their legs and reclaim what is rightfully yours.

It's just Vile's version of being protective and caring, but with more salt and rage. Vile considers X to be his token boyfriend and treats him accordingly.

Vile checks out X the first time he sees him in his first armour. They would go on "let's go blow shit up" dates in Vile's ride armour. X wants to try cute human things, to which Vile groans but agrees (like this). Also, I believe Vile would bring out the worst in X, but in the funniest way possible. He sometimes turns into an angry little blueberry because he is tired of Vile's bullshit.

X gets to see a side of Vile that others do not. Vile's room, complete with a built-in bar, has everything he needs to make killer drinks. He even purchased stupid little umbrellas because X thought they were cute. Basically, X gets to see Vile make something.

The AU bits that live rent free in my head:

It's not fleshed out or anything, but long story short, Sigma has Vile train X (a new recruit), and Vile is pissed about it. He doesn't want to train a rookie; he wants to go out there and blow stuff up, and until X is ready to go on the field, Vile is stuck at headquarters with him. That means he HAS to train him.

Along the way, Vile tries to tick off X because he's bored out of his mind and has nothing better to do, and he refuses to address him by name. Keeps calling him Rookie, it becomes X's nickname. X had had enough after a while.

"Stop calling me that my name is X! X!!" "You haven't earned that right yet, rookie. You can't even hit the targets without missing half of them. Everyone thinks you're so special." He moves closer to X, towering over him. "…But you're not. I don't care what your "title" says about you. You're nothing unless you can prove otherwise." X doesn't flinch. "You don't scare me." "Hah, that's the type of attitude that'll get you killed on the field. "I like it."

I love the idea of them having so much tension at the start. X kinda learns to deal with Vile being Vile.

When X reaches B-rank, he is able to go on missions but needs to be assisted. He wants to try it on his own, and Vile says, "Alright, suit yourself." So he sits back and watches X, but decides it's a good idea to fire his cannon at X to see if he can avoid it (also for self entertainment). "WHAT THE HELL VILE?" Vile is laughing loudly, "Remember your training, Rookie!" "R-right enemies can come from anywhere."

This entire AU leads to Zero joining the maverick hunters, and since Vile has been complaining so much, Sigma decides to have Zero train X instead. Vile gets annoyed. He's mostly annoyed with himself for being angry when he sees X and Zero smiling and talking to each other. X and Zero are just friends because I don't want to get into that kind of drama. It's too complex for my two brain cells. I just enjoy all of the different dynamics.

Everything eventually leads to this:

[sendmyresignation]

In that case could you possibly compile an introductory list to what you would consider good black metal for someone coming more from hardcore (i also listen to some metal but nothing really specific as a genre)? Thank you for your previous answer

sorry this took so long anon! i wanted to really give some specific recs, especially considering you sound less familiar with the metal basics. hopefully you find some good stuff worth exploring!

first and foremost, i would recommend first wave black metal pretty wholeheartedly for punk/hardcore fanatics. First wave essentially refers to the 80s black metal that existed pre-scandinavian genre definition (which means its also less sketch, typically, though there are shitheads). This stuff is pretty nebulous, its defined mostly by "extremity" and genre mixing (stuff that existed on the outskirts of other genres, with different balances of black/death/thrash). A lot of it is influenced by thrash and punk + it was way underground so shares a lot of qualities with diy/shit production + was primarily made by teens and people who could barely play their instruments. some essentials:

Venom - Welcome to Hell (defining black metal influence even if the sound of black metal is unrecognizable now. punk influence in spades, if you like discharge you'll love this)

Bathory - Under the Sign of the Black Mark (if venom is what really codified Satanism in bm, then bathory did the same for vikings. this is probably The Classic first wave rec)

Slayer - Show No Mercy (barely counts here, but they rip off venom enough and this is impactful enough that if you haven't gotten to it, this is required listening)

Celtic Frost - Morbid Tales

Sarcofago - INRI

Sodom - In the Sign of Evil (much more on the thrash side of first wave, Sodom was pushing enough boundaries that they've been incorporated into the first wave)

Bulldozer - The Day of Wrath (blackened thrash with a ton of venom/motorhead influence)

Mortuary Drape - All the Witches Dance

there's also a long tradition of black punk crossover. ultimately the genres have ideological similarities in terms of their philosophies surrounding music imo (not politically, obviously) and how it manifests as its own self-perpetuating diy culture. black/punk tends to also be less full of shitheads, which is nice

Devil Master - Satan Spits on the Children of Light

Melissa - Melissa

Truchlo Strzgi - Gwiezdny Demon

Gehennah - Hardrocker (tw for puke on the cover btw)

Wildspeaker - Spreading Adder (black and crust infusion here, rather than just punk)

Svalbard - When I Die, Will I Get Better? (technically my blackgaze rec, I think it's tempered significantly by the post-hardcore influence, it feels much more intense and varied)

in terms of true blue kvlt black metal, here's a nebulous collection of bands I'd suggest checking out since they're more along what i see hardcore heads gravitate towards and then you can dig deeper into their respective scenes/niches

Darkthrone (first couple classics have the greatest diy charm of the second wave imo. later work incorporates a lot of punk, they experiment with crust and trad and such)

Immortal (think the fact immortal seem very ridiculous and over the top makes them very endearing to people who otherwise dislike the self-serious nihilism of the second wave)

Rotting Christ

Panopticon

Gabestok

Hulder

Tietanblood

Havukruunu

as a final note, I'll just mention Opera IX, Spectral Wound, Yaotl Mictlan, Valdrin, Tresspasser, Dawn's Reflection, Thantifaxath, and Marthe for some bands i really like that are less accessible for hardcore listeners (mainly use symphonic elements like synths and keys or are atmospheric in an opposite direction to blackgaze)

[manonamora-if]

May Check-In

This is a bit late, because I've been debugging the past two days.

So I bought Tropico 6 during the last Steam sale. If you haven't seen me posting for a while, blame by wish to be a benevolent dictator of a fake Caribbean island.

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month (I won't do this anymore)

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head on over to itch.io as usual!

April Progress

From last month, what did we do:

Play more games: ✅

I started so good, finishing reviewing the SeedComp! entries, as well as the Revival Jam and had started on the Spring Thing... then I got distracted by the TALJ and Tropico... I also need to update @manonamora-if-reviews at some point... It's at least 100 reviews behind.

Finish the Code of Ch5✅ of Harcourt and edit the Ending Chapter ✅

YES! IT IS DONE! I have finally fixed those godamn doors in the maze that were giving me so much trouble. Also MelS has gotten my edits on all the Chapters/files (and was given extra comments because I also fixed some code in previous chapters). He is hard at work dying editing the missing text.

The only thing left for me is to: - add the maze visuals (map, book/letter formatting) - settle on a design for the final maze puzzle (need to so some research) - include the missing chapter/text (waiting for MelS)

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. Or An Eggcellent Preparation. Maybe the other parser too (it just needs a smidge of polish).

LOL... This is the shameful failure that is following me around, ringing that darn bell.

Should i give up on it? Maybe one day...

Complete the TALJ entry. ✅

I have been battling this one the whole morning trying to fix so many bugs. But I'm pretty happy about it. For one: it was actually tested by someone (not like last year). For two: it's actually an easy parser (like you can't lose!).

And the idea had been ringing in my head for so long, I had the prompt submitted to last SeedComp!.

But yeah, this had been happening for a while already. And even though it doesn't have the level of polish I had hopped (future me problem with updates), it is probably one of the better one I've made.

Anyway, play Lysidice and the Minotaur (I'll have an official post tomorrow). (and you can vote for it if you want...)

What else happened this month????

Well, the SeedComp! ended, so I had to deal with all the admin, and making the cool stickers for the different entries. That took quite a bit of time... but worth it! Some really cool entries this year, yet again!

Well, this is more of it's been done last month but released this month: Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille has been translated into English, for the Spring Thing (in the Main Garden, if you feel like voting for games). You can find the post there!

I've been also drafting some post-mortems, one for Jeangille and one for Lysidice. They should come out during the month, at some point.

:/ I have to update my website again now...

I wanted to do an entry in the Dialogue Jam, but my idea didn't pan out on time (too buggy for release). Or eer... cough cough... I had enough will power not to do it? Anyway, also I made the Really Bad IF Jam, which starts today!

What’s happening in May?

As mentioned at the start, I'm dropping this section from my check-in. First, it's buried deep in a wall of text, so no visibility (it should have been a separate post, oh well). If people actually check the events out, I'm sure it would be a miracle.

But mainly... a zine has popped up recently, specifically about IF called What's New in IF? (@if-whats-new), releasing weekly. Since it includes events, like the jams/comps/conferences I used to mention here (and it looks more sleek than a Tumblr post), I'll just leave them do all that hard work instead 😅

So yea... as long as the zine is happening, I'm out 😅 Well, I'll drop them links to my jams and stuff I see, because they seem to be looking for help in finding stuff.

The PLANtm for May

I'm playing Tropico, so I'm getting and will probably going to get less stuff done. Which is not a bad think. Breaks are important. Will I go on a break this month?

Probably should...

But if I don't, where's what I hope to do:

Play more games: On my juicy list I have: the Spring Thing, the newly released Dialogue Jam and TALJ, the Locus Jam and Really BAD IF is happening this month too (so more gameses!), and a few non-comp releases I've had my eye on.

Code Chapter 6/Endings: I need to wait for MelS for this, since he's editing my comments. I'll prob look for visuals for the puzzle in the meantime.

Fixing an older games. Instead of new, do something old.

Write the next Chapter/Scene of a WIP, because it would be good to actually do that. And make some actual progress at seeing stuff being done. (I want to write some Razac snippets....)

Let's have a boring month!

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

LOL, I've only done the website! :D

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match (waiting for Adventuron to get the French language)

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Wait, wait— so you write the most wicked Starcest smut I’ve ever seen AND you’re also just a super knowledgeable and insightful person when it comes to the series, fandom history and literature?? I’m obsessed! I just read through your page and you just seem like the kind of person I could listen to talk about their interests for hours, haha. I was curious, as someone whose been in the Starcest fandom for so long do you read alot of fanfics yourself? Do you have any recommendations— any favorites or current fixations? I’d love to see what tickles your brain 😊❤️

Nice to meet you! I'm always thrilled to find people who vibe with my particular brand of weirdness, and I love chatting! So feel free to ping me or email me whenever. And thank you for being so sweet! ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

Once upon a long time ago I remember keeping most of my stuff to myself, cluttering up my hard drive but never getting posted anywhere, because I was convinced there just couldn't be that many people besides me who'd want to read it. Holy mackerel was I wrong! Honestly I'm still working through the backlog, there's a lot of stuff just hiding out in random folders on old laptops of mine, lol.

Shockingly I'll actually read much more than just Sirius/Regulus, it's just that The Boys(tm) are the only pairing that holds my attention enough for me to sit down and write most of the time.

I've pulled up some of the "old school" Sirius/Regulus shenanigans I couldn't tear my eyes from as a kid. And I tried to pull ones that I haven't mentioned on here as much, so hopefully they're "new" recs. I added the links if I could find them...though it appears that LiveJournal is now requiring a login to view a lot of these nowadays...and in revisiting some of them I realized that my own LJ has finally been purged by the website lol. Fifteen years of breaking their TOS by posting incestuous underage smutfics and it was the crime of not logging in for two years that finally did me in, I'm laughing so hard!

Tenkuroi's Nostalgic Recs List:

"Untitled (O Tannenbaum)" Forsanethaec

"And in the grave I see thee beast" Forsanethaec

"A Fortnight Dead" Forsanethaec

"Idle Threat" Sabethea

"The Very Dead of Winter" Spessartine

"Liturgy" Spessartine

"Opus" Spessartine (there used to be a wonderful Spanish translation of this hanging around but I can't find it back!)

"The Sun Burst Through in Unlooked For Directions" Spessartine

"Some Ways of Having Loving" Marseverlasting

"Brilliance" DeathJunkE

And then there's this masterpiece that I saved to my computer probably 12+ years ago...but I didn't write down who wrote it! Or even the title (teenage me wasn't the most forward-thinking). And it seems to have completely disappeared from the internet. It was a LiveJournal user, that's all I remember. But I positively love this fic! So much that I basically copied it when I wrote Ticigi's fic for HP Cest Fest 2022.

And of course "A Thousand Year's Good Wine", which is my personal white whale that I will likely go to my grave never reading again, lol. Every year I feel like I get closer and closer to forgetting just what about it was so special...

If we yank my brain out of 2010 and fast forward to today, I feel like there's a lot more delicious Sirius/Regulus to be had. Once upon a time, there was literally not a single Sirius/Regulus fic I hadn't read. If it was on Ao3, FF.net, LJ, IJ, or someone's personal blog, I'd seen it. Every Google results page for "Sirius/Regulus" had been carefully combed through. But today? I'm sure I'm missing a lot that's around. I'm not even caught up fully on Ao3 at the moment, and that's saying something! There's so much more to choose from now, although there has also been a noticeable shift in tone, and something of a trade-off, I feel.

A lot (by which I mean almost all) of older Sirius/Regulus was canon-compliant, and it was rare to find anything that didn't end with Reggie dead. (A notable exception would be earthphoenix and esc_azkaban's Sirius/Regulus/Severus fics,) So for those who like me want to indulge in pretending he made it out okay--or at least partake in some canon-divergence--this is the decade to be living in, lol.

However, RegulusLives! aside, we don't see nearly as much of the pretentious, purple-soaked goodness that saturated LJ and InsaneJournal back in the day. If only the past and present could meet somewhere in the middle! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ

This might be confusing to some people but I'm also always down for some platonic Sirius|Regulus and the fastest way to obsess me is to write a fic where Sirius somehow ends up with custody of his brother. I think Riakida did a fic like that a year or two back that I fell in love with pretty quickly.

And we have so many longfics now! Sirius/Regulus never used to be the kind of pairing that got more than a one-shot (blame Reggie's death lol). So part of me is still getting used to finding my OTP in fics that I can actually follow and look forward to updates and such... "we could swim inside these crowds" by waitforthespark is one I've been following for awhile now. (Updates probably seem slow to everyone but me, the reigning champion of going literal years between chapters on my own fics.)

I'm curious, what drew you to the madness my stuff and similar works? Do you write as well, or just read? Any amazing gems you've come across in your wanderings?

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Ok so I was gonna go more in-depth about the timeline and try to figure some things out, but I got a little sidetracked and time got away from me so I might continue this later but for now I need to go to bed. Please enjoy this infodump about the apocalypse in Moth Wizard (my post-apocalyptic fantasy setting) and the origin of magic.

(Content warning: war, religion, death, extinction)

When exactly canon diverges from our timeline is not determined yet since I've currently placed the apocalypse really taking off "sometime in the near future" and I don't know how much of the bad stuff may or may not happen in real life. We live in scary times. Ideally I'd keep it "in the near future" for a while though, like I don't know when (if ever) I'll actually Make The Show, but I'd like for it to still be in the future when I do. It would make the "this could happen to our world" part of the "this could happen to our world and while you individually cannot save us from it, it is entirely in the hands of humans to stop it and turn things around before then" message of the apocalypse, y'know, still apply.

As I mentioned recently in a very excited tag ramble, the apocalypse has several components. I think the main ones are war, climate change, and similar corporate greed consequences like pollution, unsustainable hunting, and destruction of habitats. All of it is human in origin. This is important to me, because if it weren't humans, then it would be Hashem (G-d), and He promised never to do that again after Noah and his family survived the flood. What Hashem did was give humanity the magic that allowed them to survive (and which now fills their world with wizards).

I like to think of this as kind of an inverse of the story of Noah. Hashem did not raise the tides, it was man, and man did not create the means by which life was able to live on, it was Hashem. Are we even now? Probably not, I wouldn't claim to know whether "being even" is even an applicable concept, but I do think that this event thousands of years later changed something forever. A circle has been closed. Life on Earth will never be the same.

I'll uh, definitely consult a rabbi about this at some point though, because I'm mostly making stuff up that sounds right and fits what I have in mind for their world. I'd like to make sure it's at least not actively contradicting anything.

Anyway, so we have the nearish future timeline deviation, I hope, where everything gets worse, billions of people die in world war III and countless species go extinct. Every single country on the planet is either at war or caught in the crossfire. If not for the gift of magic, it would have been the END end of life. How long after this does the story take place? I haven't decided. It's hard to put an accurate number to things.

Let's say hypothetically, magic is introduced in the year 5800, nice round number in the nearish future (a bit over 15 years).

As I've mentioned before, the first people to discover magic were kids probably aged 12-17, because of how the magic system works. To use magic, you need to try and truly believe in it, recklessly, and I don't think anyone is better at recklessly believing in undiscovered magic than teens, speaking as a former teen myself. Too young and the line between make-believe and reality won't be the right shape, too old and they'll have lost faith in undiscovered mysteries. Teens inhabit the sweet spot where the world seems just strange enough that maybe if you really really tried, you could fly.

And suddenly one day, the teens were right.

Sidenote but what I really love about this part of the magic system is that it comes with built-in explanations for why small children are not blowing up cars on accident (it has to be fully intentional and separate from playing pretend), and why not everyone uses it enough to call themselves a wizard (it's hard to believe recklessly and intentionally enough), AND gives good excuse for why anyone desperate enough could do it in a burst of emotion (recklessness is easy if you have nothing left to lose, the exact boundaries of possibility don't seem so important anymore). It's great.

It takes a while for people to believe the kids who discover magic. Obviously this footage going viral on TikTok is faked, and now there's a whole trend about pretending magic is real. And anyone who tries while under the impression that it's fake will of course fail, they don't believe at all. But the news don't have to spread via social media, it's much easier to show people in person. And do you believe it when you see a flying car on the news? You thought this was a reliable source, why would they buy into this obviously fake nonsense? And then you meet your 11-year-old cousin who claims she can make animals talk. You don't believe her, of course, until she points to a squirrel and the squirrel addresses you by name. The world is already in chaos, and now this?

Within a year, I think, it is generally understood that magic does exist. The exact mechanics are still unclear and everyone has their own interpretation, but the fact that some people are genuinely able to do things that until a year ago were definitely impossible is hard to deny now.

Somehow, magic seems to favor saving lives over taking them. This is not actually because magic itself has morals, but because it favors vulnerability and cannot be controlled the way guns can be controlled. Governments try and inevitably fail to create magical armies. You simply can't command someone to use magic. They would need to raise such soldiers from children surrounded by cultish propaganda in order to control their faith to such an extent, which of course they do to all their citizens, that's how they ever got anyone to kill another human on command, but they didn't have the foresight to include "you will be a wizard" in their programming starting 10 years ago. And now they won't get the chance. Their time is about to come to an end.

Oceans rise. Nations fall. The world we know dies screaming.

[tokinanpa]

Long Rant Pt. 2: This Time It's Personal

on my post about tech literacy and Linux:

I'm not going to directly reblog this post or mention who made it, seeing as they clearly aren't interested in talking about this further, but I wanted to put my thoughts on it somewhere because there's a few things about this take that I find fascinating.

first, I feel the need to clarify: my intention here wasn't to shame people who find Linux confusing, nor was it to say it's their fault that they bounced off of it. good UI is designed with an audience in mind, and the audience of something like a Linux distro can be tough to pinpoint. my point was that the dominance of Windows and its design have skewed people's general ideas of what simple UX means, and that Linux being different doesn't mean it's more complicated.

when the topic of UX comes up, people often say "simple" when what they really mean is "familiar". an end user will tolerate quite a lot of inconvenience if they're accustomed to the process (and very little if they aren't). this is why the lack of a GUI package manager is such a sticking point for a lot of people: many Linux distros don't ship with one pre-installed due to a (somewhat valid imo) belief that it's not an essential feature, and a lot of new users are unfamiliar with the alternative.

so, with that in mind: the OP is comparing the UX of installing Wine in Debian with that of using an installation wizard in Windows. let's walk through the steps needed to use both of these methods. (we'll assume that the user is already familiar with how both of these installation methods work; after all, it would be unfair to consider Windows's method better just because more people were taught how to use it!)

let's start with Debian:

determine which packages to install (either by using apt's search command or by looking it up)

open the command line

type/paste in the command

say "yes" to any confirmation prompts

installation complete!

Debian's apt isn't the best package manager there is, but it's good enough, and this is a pretty standard process.

as for Windows:

determine what website the installation wizard is hosted on

download the installation wizard

run the installation wizard with admin privileges

skip past the introduction/welcome screen

choose the directory where the program will go (why is this a choice?)

set a bunch of extra configure options before the build starts

decide whether to add the program to the Start Menu (why is this a choice???)

installation complete! ... as long as you don't forget to check or uncheck the "run this program immediately" box on the last page, or you'll have that to deal with that now

oh and you should probably also get rid of that installer that's collecting dust in your downloads folder now

I think it's pretty clear why this system is bad, but I'll elaborate anyways: instead of taking advantage of the one thing that computers are good at and automating the process, installation wizards force YOU to do everything. the user has to find and download the installer themselves, they have to devote their attention to every banal setting that the installer offers, and they have to clean up the mess afterwards.

I honestly wouldn't even disagree with the claim that some aspects of Linux are unsuited for casual tech consumers. despite having now written at least a good thousand words on the subject, I don't actually care all that much about whether people decide to adopt Linux. but the idea that apt is a downgrade from this??? it baffles me. this isn't even the first time I've heard it, either.

I haven't even mentioned the issues outside of the UI:

development - programmers now have to maintain an installer program separate from the stuff that actually matters

inconsistency - what an installer looks like, where you find it, what it does, how you handle the installation after? none of it is standardized

security - you're literally running unvetted code you got off the internet and it just asked you for full access to your computer what the fuck

wow I wrote a lot more than I thought I would. thanks for reading this whole thing if you made it here, I guess? I don't expect many people to do that

[hello-093]

Glow up of the century right here ⬇️

I decided to change some stuff from their first design, like changing their skin tone(MC was pale as hell before) and making their hair naturally curly instead of straight.

Small (?) mention of death below

MC is a character of mine I haven't thought about very much recently but they have such a cool story that could very much be explored.

For those not aware, MC is long dead in this drawing, having died in a post apocalyptic scenario and they looked ROUGH at their time of death.

The only reason they look somewhat cute here is because you can still change your appearance to a degree in the afterlife even if you keep any scars.

MC also uses any pronouns without a preference but that is not really connected to any gender, just a personal preference, so I only included the Ace flag :)

OC fun fact: MC actually had/still has an older brother named Robin who is still alive and is about 9 years older than them, so in his mid twenties. Robin is their adoptive brother.

OC not-so-fun fact: MC never really learned to read in any language. This was a problem in life and has continued on into their afterlife, but an effort is being made to try and teach them.

If enough people are interested (and probably even if you aren't) I'll post some more lore about them and such.

Have a good day/evening/night or whatever it is for you 💛🧡💛🧡 and happy pride!!

[bitetheriskyrose]

I can't resist a dare, what are your kinks?

OH LAWD I forgot I said that. I really need to stay off tumblr when I'm first up in the morning and overconfident in my ability to confidently talk about my sexual side. Whelp. Heeeeeeere we go anyway!!!! (I kinda wanna see how long the list gets mwahaha)

Praise kink 'cause duh

Found out this year I am an appreciator of degredation to a degree

Casual day to day and slightly hardcore dominance

CNC with nonverbal safe signals

Oral fixation (hence the nonverbal signals)

Certain types of bondage, not a fan of swings, but getting my hands tied behind my back or to the bed posts is a must try at least once.

Breeding. Must I explain.

Very very light exhibitionism

BDSM, though humiliation isn't a huge turn on for me. I feel that humiliation and just giving me the choice to do something slightly embarrassing for a "reward" is different (e.g. saying something quite dirty that I'm wayyyy too shy to say is fine, you degrading me is fine but having me say non-sexual degrading things about myself is a no no)

I'm quite a big fan of marking. Seeing bruises on my skin has me feeling some type of way.

I adore possessiveness, but I feel it can get hypocritical very quickly so I'd rather the absence of it than have both of those together.

Very slight breath play, mostly prefer choking

Orgasm denial/forced edging

Overstimulation

Now, I do not have that kink where you try to feed someone so much they gain weight. I think it plays into my oral fixation honestly. I just love having people feed me directly sometimes. It feels intimate and full of love whilst showing I've submitted complete control.

I honestly think I'm more of a switch leaning person than a full on submissive. I haven't really explored it as I've not had the opportunity to, but I definitely have desires/fantasies that are more dominant leaning than my usual pleasure fodder.

Free use- offset of CNC

Primal play? I think that's what it's called. Basically if you played a very high stakes game of hide and seek with me in a very thick patch of woods I would not become a recognisable person.

SOMNOPHILIA. HOW COULD I FORGET HER.

Brat taming. Though I'm not the best actress.

Lactation kink. my deep dark secret you didn't see this.

Did I mention praise

Double penetrations, like spit roasting, but with a dildo you can stick to things. I'm not big on sharing or being shared in reality.

I go through phases of adoring the thought of getting kidnapped into the woods, and then sometimes it's a hard no. Probably one of the things I would agree to but it would be tentative and the safe word being used is quite likely.

I don't know if forced reading is considered a kink but trying to read something while other things are happening is a big oofta moment for me

I guess CNC/BDSM already implies it, but rough sex on the whole gets me going quite easily.

I am also a fan of just vanilla stuff! More often than not it's very relaxed scenarios that I get off to since I'm usually trying to help myself sleep.

Most of all, and this is the only requirement, I need banter. The idea of being "beaten" or matched mentally and made to feel like an equal/maybe even a bit less smart than my partner is such a turn on for me. Which sounds ridiculous because I can't word it properly. Basically, though it sounds so conceited, I always feel like I'm 10 steps ahead of people. I like being challenged, and being praised for "winning" any sort of game is equally as arousing as being degraded for not getting it. Everyone's always blowing smoke up my ass about how smart I am, and I have a very hard time believing it. If I've entered into some sort of D/s partnership, it's because I've given complete trust over and I'm going to believe most anything you say. If you say I'm smart, I'm such a good smart girl! If you say what a dumb little whore I am for getting it wrong, I must be just a desperate and silly girl who couldn't focus enough to actually try and beat you

This has gotten ridiculously long and the likelihood of anyone actually having made it to these words is so slim I feel silly.

[obey-me-headquarters]

Hello friend! I'm so sorry for my ramblings... Regarding your 'Levi rewritten as the Avatar of Gluttony' post: I think it just boils down to Beelzebub's fucked-up writing. I mean, all the characters have been destroyed and lost all significance (and because solmare is too lazy to fix it and support the OG game, we've now got a lazy isekai within an isekai to milk the whale players even more ((((::::: fun but anyways), but Beel's particularly bad. Gluttony, mainly, means over-indulgence and »The Lord of Flies« is obviously mostly tied to food, however, the actual sin as per mentioned in the Bible is often associated with alcohol. This is a goofy example but no matter the circumstances, Shane from Stardew Valley could be the Avatar of Gluttony🤡. Disregarding fasting or Sabbath is also linked to Gluttony, which is probably why they've written Beel to be dense-ish, I think? Desiring delicacies and being picky etc. is considered gluttonous as well, but Beelzebub eats everything, even plates and stuff lol Like, they could have made him desire Celestial Realm food because that's what he was used to and he would get sick otherwise, but no. The most well-written characters in terms of their sin are, in my humble opinion, Lucifer and Levi. Belphie's solid in terms of essence but the writing🪦 Asmo and Beel are so bad though. Especially Asmo, who's slowly been fixed by the fandom but... but canon Asmo is the epitome of terrible writing and missed opportunities. Enough pessimism!!! I loved reading your thoughts, you articulate yourself very well and it would have been a powerful piece, but would an Otome Game with a gacha system really criticize consumerism and the apathetic, clinical nature of modernity and absence of satisfaction like that? You're a treasure in this fandom❤️

Hello!! Firstly, never apologize for your ramblings! We accept ramblers in this household (<- is the biggest rambler of all)

Secondly, I haven't actually played the original obey me game in so long I think I've sanded down a lot of the bad writing bits lol. Like, I remember the complaints and out Satan just be reduced down to his love of cats, but that's about it?

I'm actually pretty optimistic about Nightbringer. I think that the writing is really solid, I know we haven't gotten much, and I'm still stuck at level 6, but I think (hope?) That Solmare has a solid vision of what they want this game story's to be. Something I think they lacked in the original game.

I like the idea of Beel being picky about what he eats, and him desiring Celestial realm food! I can't blame Solmare too much for taking the food route with Beel, as Gluttony is so often associated with food.

I think Beel's biggest flaw is a lack of secondary characteristics. Every character is pretty typical with their sin. Mammon is Greed, so he's constantly scheming on how to make money and steals things. Which sounds shallow, but it's what Solmare did with Mammon outside of his sin that made him interesting. He's a Tsun, he's overconfident, he has a secret soft side, etc.

Even Asmo has an identity outside of his sin. I know you don't think he's well-written, and maybe I've forgotten his bad writing and am just remembering his fannon characterization, but I think he's pretty good. His egotism is a cool touch, as well as his need to constantly be desired. I do think that fans have done way more with his character than Solmare even did, exploring how Asmo is terrified to gain weight, and how he feels like he's only good for his looks, something that's only been hinted at in game. Overall though? Idk, I think he's neat.

(Of course, ignoring his creepy tendencies in game. Because, yikes, does Solmare make some uh.... bold writting decisions sometimes)

Beel, again, lacks a strong character voice. Besides his hungry, what can you describe him as? A gentle giant? Very chill and blunt? On a houseful of outspoken demons, he's definitely the most chill to be around when he's not hungry. Which can be a rather of fresh air to some, but can also leave him lacking.

In the first 18 lessons, this was harder to notice because Beel's section was actually very well done, in my option. Hearing him talk about his guilt about saving Belphie while you're secretly helping Belphie was very interesting.

It's a shame that Solmare didn't do more with Beel.

If I could tweak Beel, instead of changing his whole character, I would lean into Beel's kindness. Beel's kind heart is a rarity among demons, and with how quick he was to befriend Luke, and appear to hide him in his room was really sweet. Beel has a really good sense of right and wrong, and characters even remarked how loyal Beel is.

Leaning into that, making him the most angelic brother who does a 180 when his hunger is out of control. I know they already kinda did this characterization with Satan, how he's normally pretty polite unless he's angry, but I think it would be possible to pull off.

Beel could feel very ashamed when he snaps out of his Gluttony inflicted rampage, vowing to do better next time, even though it's a Sisyphean goal. Because, unlike the other sins, hungry is a physical feeling you can't fight like being prideful or not stealing something. This makes him like his twin as both of their sins are physical, which would explain why they're so close, as they never blame each other for their sins taking control and making them do things.

Having Beel be so angelic, so perfect, could also make the other characters jealous. Because he's a shining example of not falling and becoming corrupt like his brothers. Even Lucifer fall and became monstrous, but Beel refused to sink to that level.

Having Beel be so ashamed of his hungry would make a good arc, as Beel could try to train himself to have restraint over food. When you and he have a pact together, he could ask you to force him not to eat food when it's right in front of him. He could try to beat his sin and get it under control.

Having Beel be so ashamed of his sin is also very interesting when you think about his relationship with Lucifer. On all accounts, Beel should hate Lucifer for causing them all to fall, to dooming him to his life, but because of Beel's loyalty he never voices this opinion, so he and Lucifer are stuck in this awkward spot with Beel being willing to follow Lucifer anywhere, and Lucifer knowing how much Beel is ashamed of his sin and how he tries to overcome it. When he was the cause of his sin, and how he is unable to fight his own sin.

"Would a Otome Game with a gacha system really criticize consumerism, and the apathetic, clinical nature of modernity and the absence of satisfaction like that?"

No, no they wouldn't 😔 which is a shame, because it's a pretty neat idea!

Creating an Otome game where the 7 sins are used to criticize capitalism, and modern trends would be really interesting, in my opinion!

I don't have many ideas, besides what I already talked about for Gluttony, but I'm interested in doing something with "pride before the fall" for Pride? Lucifer in the game is basically perfect, so we don't see much of him getting overconfident and failing because of his hubris.

Having a character whose fatal flaw is hubris would be interesting!

Lust is also an interesting sin to play around with. Maybe link it to egoism. There's this new trend, idk if yall seen it yet, of people using Hr speak when talking with their friends. Like "are you in the right headspace to hear bad news right now?", "don't ask me to help you move.", as well as cutting off friendships coldly because "we seem to be on different paths at this moment of time". How detached people have become, and how they believe that they're the main character of the universe.

This isn't like, a complete misdirect from Asmo, I think Asmo is very egotistical and this wouldn't be a complete change. But I think it's still a good jumping off point for an Oc.