#so much attention on who Shallan wants to be with

[violet-snail-girl]

So I've had some Thoughts lately as I've been rereading Oathbringer about a post I saw at some point just after finishing reading the Stormlight Archive for the first time and starting to get into the fandom. The basic premise of the post was that both Elhokar and Jasnah would have both led better lives if they were trans and effectively switched roles.

I disagree with that in regards to Jasnah. Her problems are mostly from the strict gender roles put on her by Alethi culture and vorinism, not from just being a woman. Also, as an elsecaller her oaths are supposed to revolve around meeting her potential and becoming better, and she's shown to be at at least the fourth ideal in RoW. If she were trans I'd expect that to have come up at some point. Maybe I'm missing something because I'm transfem not transmasc but I don't see that for Jasnah.

Elhokar on the other hand, I get the argument. There's not a lot of textual evidence, but more than for Jasnah. Like Jasnah, the strict gender roles of their culture seems to cause Elhokar distress, but he's way worse at making his own place despite them than Jasnah is. Elhokar was made king after his father's death due to being the only male heir, but as is shown throughout the series he's not good at being a king. Like at all. Jasnah does a much better job ruling Alethkar and that's during the apocalypse! Anyway, being a bad king doesn't mean he's trans, but it does help illustrate that the place he's put in life doesn't fit him.

The strongest evidence for Elhokar being trans is that he's attracted the attention of cryptics and if he wasn't killed he would have become a lightweaver. Lightweavers tend to be people who have deeply hidden truths about themselves that they refuse to admit even to themselves (assuming Shallan isn't a complete outlier). As someone who is trans, it's pretty easy to imagine that being a powerful truth someone would be reluctant to admit to.

Additionally, in Oathbringer when the team is infiltrating Kohlinar, Shallan suggests disguising Elhokar as a woman. Kaladin and Shallan both expect him to resist that idea, but he goes along with it eagerly and never seems uncomfortable with the experience or role while wearing that disguise. It seems like a similar thing to a lot of trans women dressing up as women for Halloween before realizing who they are/coming out because it gives them plausible deniability. I know I for one would have been delighted to have the opportunity to have an illusion that changes both my appearance and voice to be more feminine (I'm slowly working on that without the illusion, but anyways).

The last thing that's less directly evidence of being trans, but still contributes to the argument imo is that Elhokar seems to be kinda depressed most of the time. It'd be pretty easy to read the cut saddle strap situation in TWoK as a potential suicide attempt that could be explained away as trying to find assassins. In WoR after Dalinar sets off into the shattered plains Elhokar immediately starts drinking and goes to Kaladin to talk about how bad he is a being a king. On the night of the assassination attempt he's extremely drunk and moping in his rooms. In early Oathbringer he tries to abdicate the throne to Dalinar and constantly talks about how he always fails and makes a mess of things.

Anyway that's about it for my random thoughts and rambles about this that have been rattling around in my head for a while. I doubt this'll really persuade anyone, but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there

[trishyeves]

😈 with Radiant Davar!

For the trick or treat ask game, my dear friend has asked for something dark and/or sad with Radiant.

Ask and ye shall receive. Warning for Rhythm of War spoilers.

Radiant focused fic, rated Mature, 500 words

Content warning for plural trauma around integration and fears of death

While the first breezes of Radiant's woe had come and gone, it was after Veil reintegrated that the storm began.

Within days of leaving Lasting Integrity, as Shallan was telling Adolin of the struggle with Formless, of Veil's choice, he listened with rapt attention as they moved through Shadesmar. Radiant listened intently while Shallan took center stage, and it hurt that kind, honorable Adolin was the first to say it. "Do you think you can do the same with Radiant?"

"I know I can, but Radiant and I don't think that's possible, not yet," Shallan replied honestly.

"What do you need to do first?" Adolin asked and then Radiant turned her attention away.

An emotion rose, sharply, harshly, and she sequestered herself within Shallan's mind for a time, as Shallan herself often had. It felt like throwing a tantrum, it was foolish, and yet emotion override action.

The next time, it was said directly to her face. Radiant was answering questions from the Unseen Court after they'd returned, and part of that was giving some sort of response to where Veil had gone. She didn't give the details that Shallan did to Adolin, but even what she said was enough for others to tell her, then and the next day and the next week, the same sentiment, disguised by different words.

"I'm glad Shallan is healing. When do you think you'll be able to reintegrate?"

"How much longer will we even have you here, Radiant?"

"Should've been you instead of Veil."

They don't mean anything by it, Shallan tried to tell her as Radiant, in the privacy of their bedchamber, laid down and stared at the ceiling.

From the outside, she looked so stoic, so calm. Like always.

Inside, Radiant felt as though a storm was tearing her apart. "They do. They're all waiting for me to go. They all want me to go." Her voice was flat. Uninflected.

Shallan stewed in that reply for some time before trying to respond. But you won't really be going anywhere. It's like with Veil, she's back to being a part of me. We agreed that's next, that's the path to recovery.

"I know."

Then why are you sulking?

Radiant suddenly crossed stolen arms in front of a borrowed chest. "You remember what Veil did."

Yes...

"Was she scared? At the end?"

Radiant, that isn't-

"Was she scared?!" Her shout surprised even her. The tears spilling down her cheeks did the same.

There was a pause, and then Shallan told her the truth. Yes. She was scared. I... it wasn't easy, what she did.

"What I am to do as well." Her voice was suddenly wet, throat choked with tears. "I miss her, Shallan. As illogical as that is, as much as she and I fought, I miss Veil." Her breath hitched in a sob. "When I am gone... who will be left to miss me?"

I will, was Shallan's retort, but even within the limits of their mind, it sounded weak.

"No one," Radiant said, voice hollow.

Shallan did not try to stop her as she cried the night away.

[peachdoxie]

Wind and Truth chapters 3 & 4 thoughts!

The Wind told me, before she vanished, that it was the change in Odium’s vessel that restored her voice. I wonder. Perhaps it is the new storm, making people begin to reconsider that the wind is not their enemy.

Hmm. This seems to imply that the in-world Knights of Wind and Truth was written after the events of Wind and Truth, or at least after Words of Radiance.

Strength could be a matter of perception sometimes. And today Shallan found she could choose strength.

Jasnah's words still echoing within Shallan, nice.

Maya was obviously paying attention. She wasn’t completely healed—her eyes were scratched out and her coloring was a wan brown instead of vibrant green like others of her kind—but she was getting better. She no longer wandered off or just stared blankly during conversations. She was also starting to talk more and more.

Yay!

“Some of us learned you could capture spren in gemstones,” he explained. “And Mishram—for all her power—is a spren. The Radiants prepared a flawless heliodor the color of sunlight, and they trapped her inside, then hid her prison. Not in the Physical Realm, and not in Shadesmar.” He bit his lip, then forced out another part. “In the Spiritual Realm. Melishi hid it there.”

Well, that probably explains Dalinar and Navani's adventure into the Spiritual Realm as mentioned in the blurb.

His pattern slowed, then finally he laced his fingers together. “Very well. Though, you know when I said I was sure you wouldn’t get me killed?” “Yes?” “I should like,” he declared, “to make a retraction.”

I fucking love Pattern.

I have read that in the ancient days, the Wind often spoke to both human and singer. It would then mean that the Wind stopped talking not because of Odium, but because of people who began to fear her… Or to worship the Storm instead.

Fascinating ancient Roshar lore

“Ah, Wema,” Wit mumbled, turning the page. “You’ve finally noticed what a catch Vadam is? Let’s see how you screw it up.”

LMAO Wit is reading An Accountability of Virtue from Oathbringer? Also looking up the title of the book makes the context of Wit's rant about virtue even more interesting. Also: fuck you Sanderson for apparently setting this moment up some one million words ago.

“Give it a try. It has the same fingerings as the one you lost and recovered, though not the same… capacity.”

Wit suggesting that the flute is abnormal in some way

“Long ago,” Wit said softly, “that rhythm guided humans across the void from one planet to the other. They followed it to reach your world.”

Interesting....

“The wind,” Kaladin guessed. “The wind was listening.” ... “When this world was created,” Wit said, “long before Honor, Cultivation, or Odium arrived, Adonalsium left something behind on it. Sometimes it’s called the Old Magic. Sometimes that term is applied to the Nightwatcher, who came—with Cultivation’s efforts—from one of those ancient spren. Listen to the Wind when it speaks, Kaladin. It’s weaker than it once was, but it has seen so very much.”

FASCINATING ancient Roshar lore

“Because this is the journey, Kaladin,” Wit said softly. “The last part of it. Listen to me: I want you to practice with that flute until you make the sound return to you. Because that will mean Roshar is listening.”

This feels very ominous to me and I'm scared

He raised his finger at that last word, and angerspren burst around his feet, like pools of boiling blood, as if on cue.

Has Wit ever drawn spren before? I can't remember.

He glanced at Syl. “This is where Jasnah is wrong about hope, smart though she is in so many ways. If hope doesn’t mean anything to you when you lose, then it wasn’t ever a virtue in the first place. It took me a long time to learn that, and I finally did so from the writings of a man who lost every belief he thought he had, then started over new.” “Sounds like someone wise,” Syl said. “Oh, Sazed is among the best. Hope I get to meet him someday.”

SAZED NAME DROP!!!!!!!

“That’s it, eh?” Wit said. “Just you becoming your world’s first therapist.” Kaladin glanced at Syl, who shook her head. “We have no idea what that is, Wit.”

Lmao

Kaladin felt a chill. “I’m… never going to see you again, am I, Wit?”

I REALLY do not like this. It's so ominous. What's gonna happen to Kaladin?

[cosmereplay]

Soul-Mates by cosmere_play

Rated Teen, 3000 words, Shallan & Kaladin (background Shallan/Adolin), Oathbringer spoilers, CW self-harm mention

For the @aro-soulmates-fest, I wrote a Shakadolin soulmate AU where the soulmates are rejected! It's sassy and sweet!

Excerpt:

It was midway through the evening, when Adolin was half drunk and doubly affectionate. Usually Veil would’ve made an appearance by now, but Shallan had decided she wanted a night with her husband, and she was taking full advantage of being the focus of his attention. Kaladin swished his glass of orange, wondering if he should find something else to do while they made eyes at each other. Storms, they seemed so happy. If he didn’t know any better, he would have assumed they were soulmates. He wondered if Adolin knew the truth, or more likely what lies Shallan must have told him. For a while he’d wondered whether he should confront Shallan or tell Adolin, but he’d never gotten around to it. It felt too much like ruining a good thing. They seemed good for each other, soulmates or not. Then, when they’d gotten married, Kaladin had decided never to bring up the fact that one of them was his soulmate. When he was young, the people who heard his soulmark’s words offered excitement. “The way it’s written, she must be a foreign princess! You’ll end up travelling to different lands!” Father thought it was a given that he’d be meeting his princess in Kharbranth. He’d been a fool to think he would travel on his own volition. They had all been so very very wrong. Kaladin’s circumstances had forced him to reconsider what those words might mean for him. Then when he’d heard the words, she hadn’t been a foreign princess. She’d been a foreign liar. Out of anger, he’d ignored her words, and she’d done the same to him. Apparently she hadn’t been interested in being soulmates with a shash-branded darkeyes. He sighed, tapping the table with his fingertips. He thought he was over this. “You have that look,” Adolin said suddenly, and Kaladin glanced up. The lovers had separated, and both were giving him looks of pity. Perfect, just what he needed. He tried to focus on the taste of his orange wine, but the anger had stuck in his craw. “I need a distraction,” he said. “Actually, I want to hear something happy. How about you tell me the story of how you found out you were soulmates.”

Keep reading

[pleas3pretendimnothere]

May 2024

Only read two books this month, but one of them was the size of three books so... Let's talk about them!

The Way of Kings

By Brandon Sanderson - I'd been putting off this one for a long time, in part because the book is nearly 1,300 pages. I am a Brandon Sanderson fan (I've read 7 other books by the man), and I heard this was his magnum opus. I should have set lower expectations.

I still very much enjoyed Kings. I've read too many bad books to think this was actually bad. It's just...fine! Certainly not the huge, exciting fantasy epic everyone made it out to be. Online hype had me expecting Elden Ring, but all I got was Final Fantasy. We all like Final Fantasy, but by no means is it a modern feat of the genre!

A million people have reviewed this book, and most criticisms I've read are entirely valid. The highlight of Kings is Kaladin's story. Bridge Four's struggle is frightening and endearing--you want to read those parts because it really does feel like characters' lives are stake. That's good! But then, you don't really care about Kaladin when he was eight--please, get back to Bridge Four. Nor do you want to read about Dalinar, a flat, Aragorn-esque mirror of a dozen other characters Sanderson has already written. Shallan, our emotional female lead, is...fine. She's fine. All in all, it's tough to stick around for 1,300 pages with these plain, stereotypical, morally-impervious characters leading the way.

Nonetheless, there's intrigue in the world that kept me reading all the way to the end. Kaladin's story is strange and fantastical, and there's enough mystery peppered into Dalinar and Shallan's chapters to keep my attention. If only the book were a tight, 700 pages, which, I think Sanderson could have easily managed.

I could write about my qualms with this book for ages, but I think it comes down to this. Read Kings if you haven't read anything else by Sanderson--having already read Mistborn, Warbreaker, and Elantris, Kings brings nothing unique to Sanderson's cosmere. Read if you prefer worldbuilding to character work. Read if you want to finally know what the big friggin deal is! But this book isn't a masterpiece by any means. Just RENT IT!

Planesrunner

By Ian McDonald - Where Kings is often fine, Planesrunner is completely and totally fine. This is the definition of middle-of-the-pack. I picked this one up a million years ago from a used bookstore, and sadly, it's been sitting on my shelf all this time for no good reason. Super bad books are fun. Super good books are delightful. Average books bring nothing to the table.

I'm so sorry, Ian. The book's premise rocks. A London kid discovers his kidnapped father has left him a map that allows him to hop universes--a map that is heavily sought after by more sinister forces. Sounds fun, right? That's why I bought it!

And there was a lot to like about Planesrunner, but by the end, I just didn't care. The main character is a perfect, big-brained, Artemis Fowl archetype who believes in goodness and justice. Alternate-universe London is weird, colorful, and evocative of Lanthimos' Barcelona in Poor Things, but I never truly felt like our characters were in danger here. The main character was just too smart to ever be threatened. He made plans with his gang of witty Mortal Engines-like airship crew, and they always worked out brilliantly! When he ultimately succeeds at the book's end--oh no! One thing went wrong, and now we have to have a sequel! Having just read Catherine Fisher's Obsidian Mirror, which has a very similar plot of using a McGuffin to travel times/dimensions in search of a lost father, I would recommend Fisher's books instead. The main character's stubbornness and anger make him interesting, and you want him to succeed--or fail, even! You won't find any intrigue like that in Planesrunner.

This book is incredibly unspecial. Read Fisher's Obsidian Mirror saga or Philip Reeve's Mortal Engines series instead. This one, just SKIP IT!

[lordgolden]

I don’t know anything abt lawyering but let’s say you put Elayne and Shallan in Law school how would they do and what kind of law would they practice

OK THIS IS FUN so let's start with Elayne. now Elayne's mommy is OBVIOUSLY a lawyer so she has the nepo baby advantage. everyone knows that her mom is a lawyer, let's say bc of her last name, but she isn't one of those people who shoves it in your face. I think Elayne is an overachiever who asks questions in class but she is not annoying about it (those people we call gunners). She helps her classmates whenever they ask and I think in this AU her, Nynaeve, and Egg would have a nice little study group and she would be super Type A and always make sure that they got together to study at least once a week even if there are no exams in sight. As for the type of law hmm... maybe something in the realm of government? Or just whatever her mom does?

Shallan is incredibly smart but I think she's a B student bc she doesn't pay attention in class all the time and her notes are filled with doodles. She definitely sits in the back and tries to fly under the radar so people don't think much of her but whenever she's called on in class she knocks it out of the park. I think she would want to do something with Art– maybe intellectual property law? Or she could help facilitate art sales I think art law might be a thing, they definitely need people to draft up sales contracts, but i'm not sure!

[koravelliumavast]

Kaladin aroace moments chronicalized by me, an ace

Featuring some explanations in the tags

| TWOK | WOR | OB | ROW | KOWT |

WOR ch 41: Scars

“Come on Kal,” Moash said. “You can’t always work.”

“I’ll go with you another time.”

“Fine.” Moash jogged over to join the others.

•••

WOR ch 44: One Form of Justice

"Not bad," Yake said, following Kaladin's gaze.

"Not bad at what?" Kaladin asked, trying to figure out what the woman was doing.

"Not bad looking, Captain," Yake said with a laugh. "Storms! Sometimes, it seems the only thing you think about is who has to be on duty next."

•••

WOR ch 46: Patriots

“So,” Sigzil said to Kaladin, "have you given thought to where you’re going to house the married men of Bridge Four?"

Married men? Looking at Peet's expression as he leaned across the with the woman, it seemed that might not be far off. Kaladin hadn’t given thought to it. He should have. He knew that Rock was married—the Horneater had already sent letters to his family, though the Peaks were so far away, news had not yet returned. Teft had been married, but his wife was dead, as was much of his family.

•••

WOR ch 55: The Rules of The Game

Could you be any more obvious with your flattery, woman? Kaladin thought.

•••

Storms, lighteyes were annoying. Particularly when they fawned over one another. Their conversation continued, and Kaladin found it blatantly obvious how badly this woman wanted a relationship with Adolin.

•••

This woman was different. Her movements were calculated. The way she laughed, the way she chose her words. She would giggle and blush, but her eyes were always discerning, always watching. She exemplified what made him sick about lighteyed culture.

•••

“Nothings wrong.” Kaladin said softly. “I’m just tired of listening to those two.”

•••

“Shallan and Adolin seem happy,” Syl said. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” Kaladin said. “So long as I don’t have to listen to it.”

•••

Kaladin wasn’t giving those two enough credit. They might ignore him but they weren’t actively mean to him. They were happy and pleasant. Why did that annoy him so?

•••

WOR ch 68: Bridges

"Do you know anything about women, bridgeboy?" Adolin asked, looking over his shoulder and watching Shallan as the two of them crossed the bridge.

"Lighteyed women?" Kaladin asked. "Nothing. Thankfully.

“People think I know a lot about women," Adolin said. "The truth is, I know how to get them-how to make them laugh, how to make them interested. I don't know how to keep them." He hesitated. "I really want to keep this one."

"So... tell her that, maybe?" Kaladin said, thinking back to Tarah, and the mistakes he'd made.

“Do such things work on darkeyed women?”

“You’re asking the wrong man,” Kaladin said. “I haven’t had much time for women lately. I was too busy trying to avoid being killed.”

•••

WOR ch 70: From a Nightmare

“You’d make a terrible bridgeman.”

“Too short?”

“Well, yes. And too female. I doubt you’d look good in the traditional short trousers and open vest. Or, rather, you’d probably look too good. It might be a little distracting for the other bridgemen.”

•••

WOR ch 76: The Hidden Blade

She looked gorgeous. Kaladin was willing to admit it, if only to him-self. Brilliant red hair, ready smile. She said something clever, Kaladin could almost hear the words. He waited, hoping that she'd look toward him, meet his eyes across the short distance.

She didn't. She rode on, and Kaladin felt like an utter fool. A part of him wanted to hate Adolin for holding her attention, but he found that he couldn't. The truth was, he liked Adolin. And those two were good for one another. They fit.

Perhaps Kaladin could hate that.

•••

[luckspren]

I’m starting Rhythm of War today, which I’m very excited about. But first some thoughts about Oathbringer under the cut

I looove Queen Jasnah. She was already pretty much a queen who was just missing a crown and I really hope she gets chapters in RoW to get her perspective on how she views this new responsibility, especially considering her little brother had to die for it.

Elhokars death made me sadder than I thought it would. If he had died earlier I think I would have cared only in regards to his families reaction and less about the death itself. But there is something about a character that realises his shortcomings and works to better himself only to fucking die right when he starts to change, that’s just a punch to the gut.

Dalinars backstory is brutal and I’m wondering if he will tell Adolin and Renarin about the actual circumstances of Evis death. There is so much potential there to explore the family dynamic more in how the brothers might react differently to the news and the tension that it could put on the different relationships, but I think there is probably not enough time for extended Kholin family drama

I’d love to see more of Renarin in general, though. Loved his scenes with Jasnah and I also hope we get more interactions with Adolin. Also have no idea how that whole corrupted-spren business will develop. What exactly is even the difference to regular Truthwatchers? If they didn’t see the future because that’s bad, then what could they see?? I really should have paid more attention, when the little blurbs at the start of chapters talked about the Knights Radiant...

Sooo ...is Maya coming back to life? I mean she basically saved Adolin in shadesmar and she was able to tell him her name  and that has to count for something, right? So Adolin could possibly become an Edgedancer and I like the thought that the ‘dead’ spren could be saved (Also the thought of Adolin and Lift training together is pretty hilarious).

That said Adolins insecurities about leadership and his role in the war effort, now that practically everyone around him is Radiant, have to come back in some way. He dodged the crown, but maybe those themes could also be explored in his new position as Highprince? Thrusting him into a leadership position he didn’t want or prepare for, would probably more effective for this, though.

I was right and Shallan and Adolin got married and then I didn’t even get a wedding scene. Still happy about the outcome though. And I know Sanderson didn’t intend this, but with the way Kaladin and Adolin think about each other and the feelings they both have for Shallan and vice versa, there’s like a perfect set up for the Kaladin/Shallan/Adolin OT3 in the canon text. Obviously that won’t actually happen and I am happy with canon as it is, als long as I get plenty more interactions between these three.

I don’t think Moash will be redeemed and I think it has to be Kaladin who takes him down. I’m not sure what the next words will be, but I could see something along the lines of accepting that not every person can be or even wants to be saved, maybe??

So Azure is Vivenna and Zahel is Vasher, right? Where there like hints I was too dumb to notice in the Zahel-scenes? 

I hope RoW dives more into Ghostbloods-plot (which by the way is a pretty sick name for a secret organisation)

So far there hasn’t been a really major character death and that still makes me nervous. Like disaster did strike, but all in all the pov-characters got through it more or less unscathed. I’m still kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[moiraineswife]

Innocence Died Screaming - An Adolin & Jasnah Fic

I RETURN. I RETURN WITH EMOTIONAL KHOLINS TO MAKE YOU ALL EMOTIONAL TOO!!! ENJOY!!!!!!

Title: Innocence Died Screaming

Rating: T  Content warnings: mentions of accidental mother murder

Summary:  Set loosley pre-Rhythm of War. Jasnah requests some duelling training from her expert duelist cousin. Adolin sees it as a way to spend more time bonding with his cousin. He gets a little bit more than he bargained for when Jasnah calls him out as only Jasnah can for always putting himself down. They have a good heart to heart and I have Emotions.

Teaser:

'“Truthfully?” Adolin said, stalling for time.

“Always,” Jasnah said, with aching sincerity, because she was Jasnah.

“You suck,” Adolin replied bluntly, unable to find a fancier way of saying it to soften the blow.

Jasnah just smiled at that, then gestured at him, “Hence the reason you are here with me presently.”'

Link: AO3

Wit answered the door to Jasnah’s chambers with a flourish when Adolin knocked. Uncharacteristically, there was no quip. Probably because he’d seen Adolin bracing for one, and didn’t want to seem ‘predictable’. Though how anyone was supposed to predict someone like Wit was beyond him. 

“Jasnah, your beefy cousin has arrived to demonstrate the intricacies of hitting people with large metal sticks,” he announced to the room behind him where Jasnah was no doubt working. 

He made to sweep out after that declaration, but Adolin caught him by the arm and raised an eyebrow, “Beefy cousin?” he repeated, incredulous. 

“Well it couldn’t be handsome cousin, Adolin,” Wit replied smoothly, “That’s how I announce Renarin!” 

Adolin opened his mouth to reply to that, then closed it again, grinning, imagining Renarin’s face if that was, in fact, how Wit announced him. 

“What’s wrong with ‘Adolin’?” he asked instead, scratching his head. 

“Well it’s just so boring,” Wit said conversationally, lounging against the door and grinning at him. “Jasnah has a very difficult, taxing job,” he explained, with an almost conspiratorial air, “I need to seize any opportunity I can to inject a little humour into her life.” 

If rumours were to be believed, humour wasn’t the only thing he was injecting Jasnah with at the moment. 

Adolin didn’t say that. He did note, however, as his cousin approached them, that the two of them were alone, without a chaperone. 

That wasn’t entirely surprising. Jasnah had always just kind of done things her way. And she was a woman nearing her fortieth Weeping. But still. There were some rules you just shouldn’t bend, even if you were Queen.

Though Pattern wasn't exactly a model chaperone for me and Shallan, so I probably shouldn’t be judging Jasnah that harshly, he admitted ruefully to himself, grinning a little, then immediately hoping Wit hadn’t noticed.

Wit, fortunately, had eyes only for his queen at that moment. 

“Enjoy yourself, Brightness,” he was saying, waving an elegant hand at Jasnah, “Try not to hurt him too much.” 

He clapped Adolin on the shoulder, winking, then withdrew at a nod from Jasnah. 

Clearly his departing when Adolin arrived was a prearranged agreement between the two of them.

Adolin wasn’t entirely sorry about that. He liked Wit, might even be storming fond of him at this point, but he would be more relaxed without him in earshot of his every word. 

“Cousin,” Jasnah said, nodding to him in greeting. 

“Jasnah,” Adolin returned, grinning and stepping forwards to embrace her. 

All of them had had to get used to more hugs from him in the recent months. His father had been the one who had always rebuked him for it, while his mother had always encouraged him. Given recent events, he found himself more inclined towards listening to his mother. 

Besides, since losing Elhokar, he’d had his eyes opened to how precious his family was. He had loved his cousin, and his king, but he hadn’t felt as close to him as he’d wanted. 

He’d felt similarly towards Jasnah, and was determined not to let that happen again. She was his family. And as his family, she got a hug when he saw her. And had been forced to get used to him dropping by more often to spend time with her and get to know her properly. She seemed more comfortable with that than the hugs.

She was used to them by now though, and tolerated it, awkwardly patting him on the back to indicate she’d had enough of his affection for the day. He drew back, grinning. 

“Shall we get started?” Jasnah said briskly, stepping into a large section of her chambers she’d had cleared of furniture. 

She was also wearing a messenger style havah - shorter than the traditional garment, with high slits in the sides to allow for swift movement, and leggings underneath for dignity’s sake. Very practical, very Jasnah. 

“Sure,” Adolin said, following after her. 

He’d been surprised when she’d sent him a note requesting some training from him in dueling, but had been eager to accept. It would help with his new cousin-bonding goals. And he was always happy to help someone learn how to properly use their blade. 

“I’ve seen you fight a little with your Shardblade before,” he said, as they moved into position, “During the battle of Thaylen City. You were mostly Soulcasting, but you used your blade a couple of times, too. So I know you’re not totally useless.” 

“Thank you for that assessment, Adolin,” Jasnah replied coolly, though there was a hint of a smile in her eyes when she said it. 

Adolin blushed slightly, “What I meant was that you at least have some idea what to do. So I thought it might be best if you summoned your blade and showed me a few stances and movements that you know already? Do you know any katas?” 

“A few,” Jasnah replied, “Though they may be unfamiliar to you.” 

“Pick one,” Adolin said, leaning against the wall, well out of the way, “Go through it as you normally would. I’ll observe and see what needs to be corrected from there.” 

“Very well,” Jasnah said, nodding her assent at this plan. 

Adolin folded his arms across his chest, feeling a little odd. He’d given instruction to Shardbearers before. Zahel had sometimes had him help assist in the training of men on the practice grounds. Zahel didn’t much care that he was a prince, he’d been there, and that had been enough. 

He’d also given Shallan and Radiant extensive training now in the use of her blade. He wasn’t a stranger to being a teacher, and he found that he enjoyed it, especially as something productive he could do for the new Radiants in the tower. 

He’d just never expected to be doing it with Jasnah. 

Though, as she summoned her blade, he did feel there was something appropriate about the image of Jasnah Kholin standing there with a glimmering sword in hand. A completeness to the picture. Shallan would have wanted to sketch it, he was sure. He’d have to invite her along to one of these sessions, if they became a regular occurrence. 

“Very nice,” Adolin said, nodding approvingly as he examined the gleaming length of her weapon. 

He’d seen it before, but never up close or with the ability to take in the details. It was an elegant weapon, like Jasnah herself. Long and slender, with a slight curve to it. 

Jasnah held it comfortably. Because how else would the storming woman hold it? No one had yet managed to discover something Jasnah Kholin was objectively just bad at.

She frowned at this comment, “I haven’t started yet,” she pointed out.

Adolin grinned at her. “That’s a bit arrogant of you, Your Majesty,” he teased. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he added, “I was talking about your sword," he nodded to it, "Very nice indeed.” 

Jasnah glanced at the blade and her usually impassive features displayed a look of momentary surprise.

“Ivory says thank you,” she informed him. A pause, then she continued, “He says that he worked hard on perfecting the design and shape of this form.” 

Adolin nodded his approval. The attention to detail was obvious, and told him a lot about Ivory, and why he worked so well with Jasnah. Jasnah was all about the details. 

A slight crease formed between her eyes as she added, sardonically, “He also wishes me to pass on that he is pleased someone has taken notice. Finally.” She pursed her lips.

That made him smile again. He raised a hand and faked a cough to cover his urge to laugh at his cousin's expression. 

He had never met, or even glimpsed, Jasnah’s spren, except when he was summoned as a blade. According to her he was a private individual, who preferred not to be seen where possible. He sensed there was something deeper to it than what she’d said, but hadn’t pressed the issue.

Still, it was hard not to find Jasnah’s long-suffering tone oddly endearing for what it spoke of regarding their relationship. 

“I see Ivory is a man, uh, spren,” he corrected hastily, “Of fine taste, like myself," he said, with a small bow.

“Yes,” Jasnah replied, with a slight roll of her eyes, “Well if you’re both finished admiring swords for the moment, perhaps we could begin?” 

Adolin blushed slightly at the innuendo, which wasn’t something he was used to hearing from Jasnah. 

“You’ve been spending too much time around Wit,” he muttered, before he could think better of it. 

Fortunately, Jasnah only smiled at that, and made no remark. 

Adolin hastily gestured for her to continue, and concentrated on observing her form, rather than considering the tangled rumours of her and her wit. That was not why he was here. 

There was clearly something practiced about the motions of the kata, but it was obvious she hadn’t trained much, and that whoever had trained her previously hadn’t been very good at correcting small, but obvious, mistakes. 

There was nothing overtly wrong with what she did, but there were obvious improvements to be made that he could spot straight away. 

“Not bad,” he said, moving away from the wall, summoning Maya as he went, so that he could demonstrate, “Your stances have the right shape, but you need to commit to them more.”

He gave her a slight nudge with his elbow as he reached her and she wobbled, which illustrated his point, though she seemed displeased by it. Not at him, he sensed, but at herself.

“Sink down into them,” he said, showing her, “Anchor yourself, like a tree, roots planted deep into the ground.” 

Jasnah studied him for a moment with a critical eye, then replicated what he’d shown her, exaggerating the stance she’d chosen as demonstrated. 

“Good,” Adolin said, nodding in approval, “Alright, your grip, don’t overlap your hands like that, there’s room on the hilt for both hands to rest comfortably. Ivory’s not a bastard.” 

He chuckled to himself at the joke. Jasnah just raised her eyebrows. 

“A bastard sword is another name for a hand-and-a-half,” he explained with a shrug. 

Jasnah sniffed, “I think perhaps you might have been spending too much time around Wit.” 

There was no danger of that. If he wasn’t with Jasnah he was nowhere to be found these days. Adolin didn’t point that out either. Not while Jasnah had a shardblade in her hands, anyway. 

Instead he cleared his throat and carefully corrected the placement of her hands on Ivory’s hilt. 

“Alright, try that,” he said, gesturing for her to repeat the kata she’d just completed. 

“Better,” he said, nodding, “You’re right, by the way,” he told her, as she continued to implement what he’d just shown her, “I don’t recognise this kata. Who taught you?” 

She glanced at him as she turned, then grunted, “Swordmaster Katar," before continuing the sequence.

Adolin frowned, “Elsecalling lets you jump between here and Shadesmar, right?” he said. 

“Yes,” Jasnah replied slowly, seemingly confused by the question. 

“Does it let you jump through time, too?” he said, “Because otherwise I don’t see how Swordmaster Katar trained you. Since I’m pretty sure he’s dead.” 

“He lives on in the books he left behind,” Jasnah said, “As do all great historical figures.” She added, with a slight smirk, "I'm glad at least some of them made enough of an impression for you to take note of them."

Adolin put his hands on his hips, and snorted with laughter, unable to stop himself, “Only you would try to learn dueling from a book, Jasnah,” he said, shaking his head. 

Jasnah drew up at that and replied, blandly, “When I first bonded with Ivory eight years ago, there weren’t a lot of living swordmasters who were willing to train a heretic woman displaying ancient, forbidden powers steeped with negative connotation after the original Knight’s betrayal." She met his eyes and half-shrugged, mildly "I improvised.”

Adolin scratched his nose awkwardly and coughed to cover his momentary embarrassment, ���Fair enough,” he muttered, “Given that, you’ve done pretty amazingly, I’m impressed.” 

“And without the context of my…Unorthodox education?” she asked, seeming genuinely curious about the answer. 

“Truthfully?” Adolin said, stalling for time. 

“Always,” Jasnah said, with aching sincerity, because she was Jasnah.

“You suck,” Adolin replied bluntly, unable to find a fancier way of saying it to soften the blow. 

Jasnah just smiled at that, then gestured at him, “Hence the reason you are here with me presently.”

“You have done well on your own,” Adolin told her, honestly, wanting to clarify his words. He hadn't expected her to agree with him, and that had thrown his response a little, "But-”

“But context can only excuse one’s lack of skill so far,” Jasnah supplied smoothly, “Before relying upon it simply becomes an awkward crutch to attempt to justify your inability.” 

“Sure,” Adolin agreed, nodding at her. Did she always have to talk like she was writing a new academic text? Storms. “Let’s get back into it, okay?” he suggested.

Jasnah nodded at once and complied with his instruction without a word. 

It felt very strange to be giving Jasnah orders. Stranger still to be instructing her, and correcting her. And even more strange that she deferred to him on everything and took whatever he said on board without question or hesitation.

After a little while of this, he paused in the middle of a sequence, shaking his head, bemused. Jasnah drew up, noting his expression. 

“What is it?” she asked, straightening up and raising an eyebrow at him. 

“This is just...Weird,” he said, running a hand absently through his hair, unable to find a more eloquent way of putting it. 

“Because I’m a woman?” Jasnah guessed evenly. 

“No,” Adolin said, waving a dismissive hand, “I got over that months ago with Shallan.” 

Jasnah smirked slightly at that, but made no comment. 

“It’s just-” he struggled to find the words to explain his emotions, “It’s you,” he said finally, which he knew wasn’t entirely helpful. “You’re Jasnah,” he added. Which was about as useful as his earlier sentiment. 

“I’m aware of that,” Jasnah replied, slowly, clearly struggling to piece together what he was trying to say. 

“It, well it-” Adolin stammered, feeling as lost as he would have if she'd asked him to summarise Aunt Navani's fabrial lecture for him, grappling with fitting his unwieldy emotions into insubstantial words. 

“It feels strange for me to be teaching you anything," he managed finally, "You’re Jasnah storming Kholin. The world famous scholar. This fantastic thinker, and historian, and all of that," he said, gesturing expansively before he said, voice and hands falling flat, "I’m Adolin, the family idiot, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Silence stretched between them for a long, uncomfortable moment. 

“I think that we should take a short break,” Jasnah announced abruptly, dismissing her blade. 

Adolin decided not to point out that they’d barely been going for an hour, and with Stormlight, there was no way she actually needed a break. If he’d been Zahel he’d have laughed at this suggestion. But he wasn’t. And he knew better.

Jasnah would do what Jasnah wanted to do. She was already heading towards the seating area of her chambers. The easiest thing to do was to thank Maya, then dismiss her and follow his cousin.

Jasnah was pouring them both wine, orange for her, yellow for Adolin, and pushed the cup towards him, settling on the couch and gesturing him to the seat opposite her. 

Sighing, Adolin accepted the cup, and the chair, and sat down as indicated. 

Jasnah was eyeing him over the rim of her own cup, considering him like some dusty historical treatise she was trying to pry secrets from.

“I’ve noticed that you do that a lot, Adolin,” she remarked finally, lowering the cup. 

“What? Drink?” Adolin joked, rather feebly. 

Hastily he raised his own cup and taking a gulp of the wine. It was good. Jasnah had appropriately fine taste. But there was a bad taste in his mouth. Less from the wine, and more from the memories that rose at the mention of indulging in it too often.

“Put yourself down,” Jasnah said bluntly, ignoring his attempt at humour. “Particularly with regards to your own intelligence. You seem overly fond of comparing yourself negatively in that regard to those around you.” 

Adolin shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took another sip of his wine before he answered.

“Kind of hard not to,” he said, aiming to keep his voice light, “I mean there’s you. Aunt Navani, Shallan, Renarin. Wit’s never normally far from you, either. Even the Storming Bridgeboy-” He caught himself, realising he’d probably slipped into sounding more resentful than he’d intended. 

No doubt Jasnah had noticed. But he lounged back in his chair, giving her an easy grin to try and smoothe over the sticky moment.

With a shrug he said, “I’m just surrounded by a lot of really smart people all the time. It’s natural to make comparisons.” 

“Hm,” Jasnah replied, in a way that suggested she didn’t at all believe him, “Yet I don’t see you comparing yourself in other areas. You never remark on your lack of ability to draw while around Shallan, for instance. You don’t talk about the fact you can’t set a fracture when you’re around Kaladin. You’ve never once mentioned not being able to play the flute while around me.” 

“You still play the flute?” he deflected, while actually being vaguely interested in the answer. 

Jasnah, again, ignored him. Which was getting annoying. Shallan was a lot easier to distract and divert off course whenever she mentioned things like this. Which he did every time she tried.

“And you also don’t seem to point out the areas where those around you are lacking, either,” Jasnah continued, with characteristic unavoidable intent. “Even if they also form easy points of comparison. I don’t hear you disparage my lack of ability in the areas of personable conversation. Nor Kaladin’s inability to process failure. Or Shallan’s lack of focus. The only person whose perceived flaws you feel the need to accentuate are your own.”

She raised her eyebrows pointedly at him and settled back in her chair, raising her cup to her lips again, watching to see how he reacted.

Storms. He’d forgotten how sometimes conversing with Jasnah could feel like going to battle. Usually his head hurt less after the actual battles, too. 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to process what she’d said, and the point she was driving at.

“I guess,” he said, not looking at her, “I guess it’s just...Easy to feel less than surrounded by a bunch of genius Radiants all the time. And you are all smarter than me, you can’t deny that,” he said quickly, pointing at her in accusation.

“No,” Jasnah agreed slowly, “But it’s also not something you should seek to highlight in nearly every conversation.” 

“I don’t-” he began. 

“You do,” Jasnah interrupted, voice surprisingly gentle, yet unyielding as ever. “You always find some way to mention your lack of comparable academic capability. Even in situations where it has little to no relevance. Such as our dueling practice earlier”

Adolin sighed, “I suppose you’d take exception to me pointing out that my lack of, what was it, ‘academic capability’ is really hurting my ability to properly argue with you right now?” 

Jasnah smiled thinly at that, “It would serve to highlight my point rather well, actually. So on this sole occasion, feel free.” 

He groaned, “No offence, but I really hate talking to you sometimes, Jasnah.”  

She inclined her head as if to say she understood, and agreed, with that sentiment. He found that curious about her. Most people shied away from criticism or insults. Jasnah seemed to welcome them, like a rockbud opening up to gorge itself on storm rains. Maybe because so few people were ever brave enough to tell her what they really thought. 

“You could point out that this is an area where I am not particularly skilled,” she said, swirling her wine thoughtfully, “Talking with others. Connecting. Encouraging them to open up. Empathising with their emotions and struggles.” She met his eyes again as she said, lightly, “An area in which you excel, I might add. Perfectly reasonable grounds for one of your comparisons.” 

“I would never say that to you,” he protested without thinking. 

Only after he caught the triumphant glimmer in Jasnah’s eye did he realise that she’d maneuvered him into that to make her point. He glowered at her. 

“Can we get back to dueling again?” he growled, “I have a sudden urge to start hitting you with Maya.” 

She just smiled at him. 

Adolin flopped back in his chair, running a hand through his hair again, “It’s just. It’s hard, Jasnah,” he admitted, his voice softening a little, though he avoided her penetrating gaze as he spoke, “I feel like I blinked and the entire world was pulled out from under me like a rug. I’m still struggling to get back to my feet while the bridgeboy is soaring in the sky, and my wife is infiltrating cults. Oh, and my brother has visions of the future, and my father is communing with the Storming Stormfather. And you’re the most powerful Radiant we have and I’m...Still just me.” 

“I understand,” Jasnah said quietly. 

Adolin snorted before he could stop himself. 

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m sorry, Jasnah,” he said, sitting up and putting a hand on her arm, “I just find it hard to believe that you of all people can possibly understand what this feels like.”

Jasnah was quiet for a moment, tapping her finger on the side of her cup, then she said, “I spent years researching the Desolations. I collected hundreds of fragments from ancient texts detailing everything I could find related to the Radiants, Urithiru, the Voidbringers, and the events that had nearly destroyed mankind. I barely slept, barely stopped, barely rested for years to accumulate all the knowledge I could.” 

“I know,” Adolin said, scratching his head, unsure why she was telling him this, “Shallan told me.” 

Jasnah nodded, then continued, “I was the newest Radiant, I have achieved the highest Ideal of any of the people we’ve found. I am the most practiced with my powers, the most accomplished. At one time I had more knowledge, and more experience, with the Radiants, and the Desolations, than almost anyone else on Roshar.” 

“Isn’t that what I said?” Adolin asked, bemused. 

“Then the Ghostbloods sent assassins after me on the Wind’s Pleasure. I was stabbed through the chest and almost killed and ended up Elsecalling accidentally for the first time and became trapped in Shadesmar,” she went on, tone barely changing, even as she described this traumatic event.

Adolin winced at that. He remembered the reports that had come in claiming the Wind’s Pleasure lost with all hands. At the time he’d been so worried about Shallan he’d barely spared a thought for Jasnah. 

Of course, Aunt Navani’s insistence that she was fine had been a little distracting, but… He should have been more distressed at the news of Jasnah’s presumed death. Even if it had turned out to be false. 

She was family. Even if she was a little odd, and they had never really spent all that much time together or gotten to know each other that well. He was working to change that with her. 

After Elhokar’s death… Well, he had realised how precious his family was. He wanted to make the most of the people he had left.

“Having been lost there yourself, you’re aware it’s not exactly easy to get out. Or to navigate through, particularly without supplies or Stormlight.” 

Adolin nodded, grimacing at the memory. It couldn’t have been easy for Jasnah, trapped there, alone, with no preparation or warning. She’d never really spoken about it to him. Or, as far as he knew, to anyone. 

She’d published accounts of what had happened to her there, and he’d had Shallan read them to him but… They were put across with Jasnah’s usual academic slant. There wasn’t any mention of how she had felt, or how it had affected her. That wasn’t really Jasnah’s way. 

Her voice was softer when she continued, with a sigh, “When I emerged at last it was to find that the Desolation had already come. The Everstorm had been loosed across Roshar, the Singers had awoken. All of my fears had been realised without my even being there to witness them. 

“In my abseence my uncle had refounded the Knights Radiant, with him as the Stormfather’s Bondsmith. My cousin was a budding Radiant, my ward was another, and then there was the bridgeman strutting around like a prized Rhyshadium with my family, seeming to fit more with them than I ever did. It was somewhat overwhelming.” 

Adolin gaped at her. He had never heard Jasnah admit to anything overwhelming her. Ever. Well, except perhaps Aunt Navani. But she could overwhelm a highstorm at times, so that didn’t really count. 

Jasnah was always, well, Jasnah. The model of Alethi regality and dignity. Always composed, always assured, confident, never in doubt or afraid, or any of the things he seemed to feel so often these days. 

She smiled, a little sadly, and said, “I went from being one of the most knowledgeable people to having everyone know the things I had worked so hard to discover. I’d spent years struggling alone. I’d written to leaders across the world and received only scorn, and mistrust. 

“Ivory and I had been alone, struggling to comprehend our powers and our bond. At first I feared that I was going mad. No one else understood. No one else could understand. And so I had to. Then suddenly Radiants were popping up everywhere like rockbuds after a storm. 

“I thought that I was so prepared, and so informed, and in a moment all of that had been for nothing. Everything I had done had been wasted time. It had made no difference. Everyone knew. Everyone knew more than I did, in fact. Everyone had moved on to a world I had feared was coming for so long. And I was left feeling lost and utterly out of my depth.” 

She took a sip of her wine, and her eyes grew more distant, more pained. He had never seen her like this before. As open, as vulnerable, as human as she continued, very quietly.

“Then Kholinar fell. And Elhokar died. And just like that, I became Queen of an empty, broken nation. A scattered, fragmented people. As lost and overwhelmed as I was. But they looked to me, their Queen, their most experienced Radiant, a ‘genius’ as you name me, and expected me to have answers, to be a shining light of salvation in the darkness of the thing I had dreaded for so long. They wanted me to save them, without ever realising I had already tried to do just that. And that I had failed.” 

So looked up and met Adolin’s eyes, her gaze steady, in spite of what she’d just shared with him and said, with a little humourless smile on her lips, “So yes, Adolin. I think I have some idea of what you have been feeling since all of this began.”

Adolin sat, feeling somewhat stunned, as if he’d just been cracked over the head with a Shardbearer’s warhammer again. 

Then he found himself leaning forwards, taking Jasnah’s hand and nodding to her, “Yeah,” he murmured, voice a little hoarse now. “Everything changed so much so fast. Everything except me.” 

She squeezed his hand. Just a brief pulse of her fingers around his, but it somehow gave him courage to say things he’d never been able to properly voice aloud before. 

“I was one of the most important people on Roshar. Shardbearer. Expert duelist. Heir to a princedom. In line to the throne of Alethkar itself,” he reeled off dully.

He shook his head, and downed the rest of his wine. Jasnah wordlessly refilled his cup for him, and he nodded his thanks to her before continuing. 

“Then the world ended. And there were Storming Knight’s Radiant again. And my father was one. And my brother was one. And my fiancee was one. And my returned-from-the-dead-cousin was one,” he said, gesturing emphatically towards her, “And my bridgeboy was one, too, because of course he storming is.” he went on, waving his cup around so much that a little of the wine slopped over the rim. They both pretended not to notice. “And I was just...Some guy with a dead spren and no place in this new ending world.” 

He met Jasnah’s eyes and gently squeezed her hands as he added, “Then Elhokar died. I failed him. And I failed Kholinar. We only got out of that mess because of my father-” he broke off, clenching his fist and turning away. 

Jasnah let him sit quietly for a moment, gazing vaguely off into space, brooding. There was darkness inside him. No one ever seemed to see that. He never wanted to let it show. But it was there. And it was swirling to the surface now, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop it. 

“My father,” he said, very quietly, still not sure if he wanted to fall into this chasm, “Who killed my mother.” 

His voice caught and he was forced to swallow hard to clear the sudden lump in his throat so he could speak again. And when he did he found that he couldn’t stop.

Because he met Jasnah’s eyes again and knew that she, too, had dark thoughts she never wanted the world to see. There was a strange connection being forged between them. An understanding he’d never thought to find, or even look for, with her. But he felt that she understood, and would not condemn him for the words that started pouring out of his mouth like poison.

“And he wrote a storming book about it and told the world what he’d done. How he- What he-” He broke off again, but made himself keep going, “What he did. How he visited the Nightwatcher and she took his memories of her. Or, or a god took his memories of her, because they hurt him so much after what he’d done and I-” 

He balled his hands into fists and pounded them against his knees as the teras pressed behind his defiantly closed eyes. 

Through clenched teeth, he forced himself to get out, “As though he was the only one suffering. As though I was fine. As though I wasn’t in agony every storming day after she died.” 

Something broke in him then. Something that had been fraying for a long time. And he couldn’t hold it back anymore. 

“And it was his fault! He should have felt pain. He should have felt guilt. He should have felt every storming thing that was killing him after what he did because he deserved it. I didn’t. Renarin didn’t. But there was nothing there to take our pain away. We didn’t even have him. We lost both of our parents that night, and he didn’t even seem to care. Still doesn’t. He only thinks about what it cost him. What he lost. What he took away from the world. And from me.”

“I’m sorry, Adolin,” Jasnah said quietly, “I know that you still miss her.” 

“Of course I still miss her!” Adolin snapped, then winced at how loudly he had said that. He sighed, clenching and unclenching his hands several times, like a heartbeat, then said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” 

Jasnah just nodded, wordless acceptance of his apology.

He set his jaw, then took another sip of wine, finishing his second cup. But when Jasnah made to refill it again he shook his head. He kept the cup in his hands so he could fidget with it, but he didn’t want more wine. He didn’t want- He didn’t want to be the man who needed it to get through something difficult. He didn’t want to be his father. Not anymore. 

“I still love him,” Adolin mumbled, “Even after what he did. He’s my father. And he- I can see that he’s trying to be a better man. She saw that in him, you know.” 

He looked up and saw Jasnah frown slightly, struggling to follow his confused, meandering thoughts. He didn’t blame her. 

“My mother,” he explained, wiping his nose on the back of his hand without really noticing what he was doing. “She was a good person. And she saw a good person in him, too. And she was right. She just-” 

He was crying now, jaw gritted against it, unwilling, but the tears were still coming. He wasn’t sure when he’d started. He supposed that it didn’t really matter. And with that realisation came the freedom to just..Cry. 

His mother would never have chided him for that, for his emotions. She would have welcomed them. Even angry, bitter, grief-drenched tears. The bad feelings couldn’t be kept inside of him, they would make him sick. And they would. They had made his father sick. So sick he’d had to beg a god to heal him.

“Why did she have to die before he listened to her?” he blurted, not expecting an answer from Jasnah. Not expecting an answer at all. Just needing to put voice to the things that had tormented him for so long. “Why did he have to storming kill her before he could become the man she always knew that he could be? Why couldn’t he have been that man for her? The man she deserved? Because she- She deserved better than the man that he was. There. I’ve said it.” 

He turned away from Jasnah, rubbing at his eyes, hoping, stupidly, that she might not have seen his tears. That was pretty impossible, given that she’d been staring right at him, and she was more perceptive than a skyeel spotting rats on the crowded streets of a city sometimes. 

And given that he was doing nothing short of openly weeping at this point. But Jasnah made no comment. Just silently handed him a silk handkerchief she had in a pocket.

“She was a good person, Adolin,” Jasnah agreed softly, “And you are her son. As much as you are your father’s.” She paused, then said, “More.” 

Adolin cleared his throat and sniffed several times before meeting her eyes.

She nodded, answering his unspoken question, confirming for him. 

Then she said, “She used to do the same thing that you do now, you know.” 

He frowned slightly at that, “What?” 

“She would compare herself to the other women of the court. Say how she was not as smart, nor as cunning, as they were, that she lacked their skill in politics, and Alethi scheming.”

“She was a better woman than all of them,” Adolin whispered, wiping his eyes again, “She had a good heart. She was gentle, and kind, and loving. She saw the best in everyone, and everything, even when they’d shown her nothing but the worst parts of them. She always believed things could be better, that we could be better. That’s what she taught me, and Renarin. And she was right. She-” 

He broke off, meeting Jasnah’s eyes again, and found that glimmer in them. She nodded slowly to him, and he swallowed, but nodded back to her, understanding passing between them.

“You are more like her than you allow yourself to be, Adolin,” Jasnah observed quietly. “You have her heart. But you hide it behind your own perception of all the things you’re doing wrong. All the things you aren’t good at. You ignore your greatest strengths to dwell upon your flaws. Until that becomes a flaw itself. It’s holding you back from the man that you could be. The man you should become.”

“When I was younger, I wanted so badly to be like my father,” Adolin said quietly. “I wanted to be the Blackthorn. I wanted to fight alongside him on the Plains. I wanted to see the greatness that everyone spoke about when they talked about him. The unstoppable Shardbearer. The undefeated warlord. I thought he was the best a man could be, the best thing I could ever aspire to be.” 

“And now?” Jasnah prompted gently. 

Adolin clenched his fist in his lap and stared into the candle flame flickering on the table between them, “Now that’s the monster who killed my mother,” he whispered, with a naked condemnation he hadn’t dared approach before. Not even in his own thoughts. “And thousands of other innocent people. And the less like him I am the better I’ll be. The better Alethkar will be, too.” 

He paused, then looked up at Jasnah, realisation sparking in him.

“That’s what’s wrong, isn’t it?” he said quietly, “What we are, what we do? We- We focus on the wrong things. On how good we are at killing and conquering. Or how accomplished our women are at scheming, and manipulating people.” He met Jasnah’s eyes and said, “That’s what you’re trying to change, isn’t it?” 

“No, cousin,” she said, actually reaching out and taking his hands, “That is what we are going to change,” she said, firmly. 

Adolin squeezed her hands and nodded, “We will,” he agreed. 

Jasnah smiled at that, not her usual, small, guarded little smirk, a full smile, her eyes dancing, her intent clear. And Adolin found himself smiling with her. 

As one, they stood, and embraced. Without any reluctance or ginger back patting on Jasnah’s part this time.

As they drew away, Adolin eyed her. “I think Wit has been rubbing off on you,” he observed, giving her a wry smile. 

Jasnah pulled back, frowning at that, “What do you mean?” 

“This feels like the kind of thing he’d do,” Adolin said, shrugging, “From what Shallan and Kal have said to me about the times he’s popped up to give them cryptic advice when they’ve needed to talk about stuff.” 

Jasnah sniffed, “I don’t think anything about that conversation was ���cryptic’, Adolin. Nor was it intended to be.” 

“That’s true,” Adolin said, nodding, “If it had been Wit he’d have told me a three hour story about how chulls shouldn’t judge themselves on how good they are at flying by comparing themselves to skyeels or. Something.”

Jasnah smiled at that, and her expression softened in a way Adolin had never seen from her before. 

He paused, wondering if he dared ask her if the rumours surrounding her and Wit were true. 

Then the softened expression dropped from her face as she turned back towards him looking decidedly more business-like, and he decided that he didn’t dare. 

She might be his cousin, and they might have just bonded over things he’d never dreamed she of all people could have the experience to understand. But no.

Adolin Kholin might not be able to name all seventeen varieties of fingermoss, or have any idea how fabrials worked, but he was not stupid.

***

[roachyreads]

Book #4 of 2022

"The Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson

Spoiler-free Summary:

This is the first book in a series called the Stormlight Archives. It follows the stories of many different people in a world called Roshar, made up of many different kingdoms, including Jah Keved, Alethkar, & Shinovar. Through his amazing writing, Sanderson tells the tale of Kaladin, a once-soldier who finds himself a slave; Shallah, a desperate girl striving to become a scholar to save her family's kingdom, and many others. After the murder of King Gavilar, the world breaks into chaos, leaving the plethora of characters clueless in a war that may be a lot more than it seems on the surface.

Full thoughts below the cut :) And watch out, this one was a DOOZY so I have a lot to say!

(Tell me about your favorite book here!: https://bit.ly/3s1QWh0 )

- Before I start off with my comments, I want to say that this is the longest book that I have EVER read. Holy shit. I never thought my attention span would stay focused long enough to read a book with over 1200 pages. I'm pretty proud of myself!

- The first comment that comes to mind is that Brandon Sanderson is a GENIUS storyteller and world-builder. Roshar is a whole different world, with it's own social customs, norms, and even natural properties to the world. The idea of the highstorms coming from the East (and that being pretty much the ONLY thing they know about the highstorms), is so interesting to me, and really peaked my curiosity. Societal aspects that Sanderson included, such as the social class hierarchy around eye color or the gender-divided labor, was INCREDIBLY interesting to a sociologist such as myself. Everything about this world captures your attention, and leaves a curious reader thirsty for so much more lore (And Sanderson HAS it to give~!)

- I will say, though, because of all the world-building, it took a while to get hooked onto this book. The first third of it is very slow, and I practically had to have the fandom wiki open constantly in order to recall details about names, places, or important notes. This isn't necessarily a complaint persay (I was kind of expecting it with a book this long), but still took me aback a little bit.

- I had a hard time choosing my favorite characters. I felt really drawn to Jasnah Kholin, because of her wits and intelligence. Similarly, I really found myself liking Dalinar as well - not only do I like reading about inner workings of politics, but reading about this man practically unravelling in his own head was really engaging, to say the least. I think overall, though, Rock is my favorite. Somethin' about that big ole loveable guy that just makes my heart warm.

- I hate Elhokar though. Spineless young king? Yuck.

- This book also has a ton of twists and turns. Sadeas's betrayal was HUGE and severely unexpected, it had me reeling until the very end of the book. - Also, as a side note for anyone potentially wanting to read this book: it is /graphic/. And I mean Read About a Slave's Head Getting Bashed in with a Rock in the First Chapter" kind of graphic. Not for the light-hearted, but violence and gore do not bug me as much - thus, they are a welcome theme in my book. (Lesser so the slavery. I'm glad Sanderson focused heavily on anti-slavery rhetoric throughout.

- I REALLY enjoyed that there were illustrations ever so often from Shallan's/Navani's sketchbooks. It really helped put some of these abstract creatures - such as skyeels and cremlings - into perspective.

- Speaking of creatures, this book is RICH with creative fictional flora, animals, and even....spirits??? manifestations of energy/emotions?? Even after reading this one, I'm still not sure how to describe spren. I look forward to learning more about them in the coming books.

- Without putting TOO much more stuff in this post, I can not express enough how much this book pulled me in. I fully expected to go into this and lose interest halfway through - but now I am obsessed with the lore and the world building, the storyline and the coming plot. Sanderson really knows how to write in such a way that keeps you on the edge of your seat and makes you never want to stop reading!

- One of the only reasons this book didn't get a 10/10 is because of the amount of cross-reference I had to do with the wiki. It was hard to keep up with so many names, races, events, beings, etc, and my ADHD-having ass could NOT remember any of it. Thankfully, though, the wiki is pretty well fleshed out and true to the text... just watch out for spoilers if you end up following me down this beautiful, creative path ;) Thx Brandon, for a wonderful read!

- (And thank you to my truly amazing coworker Emily for lending me the first and second books. I'm sorry my cat ripped the fuckin pages out the night that I brought it home but I promise this new copy is so much better - and has that new-book smell!)

BEST /|\(^-A-^)/|\ ~ROACHY

[wyndlerunner]

Kholin and Stormblessed Family Parallels

Lirin & Dalinar: Stubborn and opinionated.  Quick to anger.  Could intimidate a stormwall with a glare. Doesn’t automatically respect the authority of others

Kaladin & Adolin: Eldest sons whose fathers wanted them to just be upgraded versions of themselves.  Early in their lives, were pretty d*mn good at meeting those expectations but made decisions they thought were right but contradicted their father’s strict moralities and are now somewhat estranged from their fathers.  Protective of their beloved younger brothers

Tien & Renarin: Second son to fathers with high expectations.  Physically frail or weak in ways that prevented them from living up to their fathers’ dreams and were subsequently given less attention/love. Encouraged to take alternate careers/vocations that are less respected by their fathers.  Picked on by peer children and were protected by their older brothers

Hesina & Navani: Mothers who at one point believed two of their children were dead.  Youngest child stayed dead.  Firstborn returned from death after a period of mourning, carrying traumas that they won’t talk about. Firstborns have risen to greater power than had been previously expected of them and now the mothers have to watch as their returned children return time and again to dangerous battlefields

Kaladin & Jasnah: Secretly bonded Radiant spren and progressed in their oaths without the help of their families.  Long journeys to return home after supposed death, which included long segments travelling without Stormlight.  Take in strays and forms them into more formidable/powerful people. Think that Meridas Amaram is a piece of sh*t.

Hesina & Evi: Married men whose decisions led to serious consequences for their families.  Moved far away from their families & childhood homes, into unfamiliar environments to be with their husbands.  The sunshine to their stormwall husbands

Oroden & Gavinor: Little sweet babies that are (hopefully) going to be especially loved and cherished because their family members have already lost so much. Kind of implied that they’re replacements/stand-ins for their dead brother/father.

Tien & Elhokar: Considered weaker and less powerful than their relatives.  Budding radiants when they were killed

Lirin & Shallan: When their families experience financial pressure, steal from /rob more powerful lighteyes.  They don’t get away with it and face varying consequences from their targets

[agent-cupcake]

Cupcake!! Do you listen to music while writing? If yes what kind?

Yes! I absolutely do! I really love music, I’d say it’s secondary to literature as far as my choice of creative input so this is also just my personal recommendations regarding music as a whole with explanations and unwanted commentary because I’m dumb and this is one of my favorite things to talk about.

Firstly, my ongoing(ish) story Beastie and the Bard is musically driven so here are some songs I have on my playlist for that. I tend towards pieces that are melancholy but melodic. Entrancing, perhaps.

Lolita by Ennio Morricone - Contextually, I realize this is a bizarre (even tone deaf) pick given the source material, but... Whatever. This song, in general, just reminds me of Dimitri. Although a heavy, militaristic march might suit him better, the heart rending sound of this song just works for me when I think of him. The piano sets the tone immediately, lingering on some notes in a wistful, sad way. And it is sad, the cello and flute join in to make that clear. But, at a certain point, the instruments begin to dance around together, opening up and almost seeming like they want to resolve the song and create something happier, or at least something bittersweet, only to be drawn back into the uneasy tragedy of the main motif. I dunno, for me, it just absolutely aches like betrayal. 

Shallan’s Lullaby by treefin / Black Piper - This music box rendition of Shallan’s Lullaby from Stormlight was the melodic inspiration for my bootleg lullaby that reader writes for Dimitri (perhaps not the first part as much as the way it shifts around 1:07). It’s haunting.

Isabella’s Lullaby from The Promised Neverland - Pretty self explanatory, I think. This one hits the sweet spot of beautiful and sad, from the harp to the vocals it just fits. 

Howl’s Moving Castle Merry Go Round of Life original and the cover by the Grissini Project - Both versions are incredibly special pieces of music and I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard this theme before, very good for the more whimsical parts of the story (not that there’s gonna be any more of that).

Shadows of the Lowlands from Xenoblade 2 - While I’m about to recommend this entire soundtrack, this vocal piece is stunning. This guy’s vocals, no joke, sound like a Tolkien Elf. We Are the Chosen Ones is done by the same vocal group and soloist so it’s also making this list although the tone is def a bit different. 

Okay now I’m just gonna point out my favorite soundtracks. For all of these, I have COMPLETELY LEGALLY downloaded most of these from other sites, I’m linking youtube just based on superficial searches to hopefully give you a taste and maybe encourage you to NOT BREAK THE LAW and acquire these soundtracks on your own

Fire Emblem Three Houses - This is obvious and I’m sure you’ve all heard it, but go have a listen if you haven’t. but first, is anyone else disappointed about the Three Houses official release soundtrack? Considering the delay I guess I kinda expected more. Granted, the soundtrack IS phenomenal. Not so much in its entirety, which is emblematic of the game as a whole in some ways, but the set pieces? Unforgettable. This soundtrack is a case study in how powerful a small pool of musical motifs and set-up/pay-offs can be. The little promise of God Shattering Star at the very beginning of the game, Those Who Sow Darkness giving a taste of Shambhala, and then the use of the main melodies of Season of Warfare (Main Theme) and Song of the Nabateans. For the most part, both melodies are used in dramatic songs, creating this unbreakable musical connection between Edelgard and Byleth. Or, if you think about it, Edelgard and the Rhea. For example: the thunder version of Funeral of Flowers doesn’t have the game’s theme, but the rain version does (those two songs were WRITTEN to be layered I stg). And then there’s that somewhat bastardized version of the main theme in At What Cost, highlighting the intended twisting of the usual heroic take on that melody. I do have a potentially unpopular opinion, however. The Apex of the World is boring and tonally dissonant with the final battle in Azure Moon. A lot of people really like Edelgard-Dimitri likes Edelgard! There’s very little heroism in that mission, at least to me, and a song like At What Cost would have fit SO MUCH BETTER. I mean, that is also Edelgard’s theme so hearing that being twisted up into this decidedly more dark song would be thematically appropriate to her ultimate choice. The title also just seems like it suits her and Dimitri. Edelgard claims that she has weighed the cost of war, she believes she is capable of taking on the cost of victory without really knowing what it would be. Dimitri's whole story was him trying to find revenge no mater what the cost and now that he has it, he’s fully understanding what it will cost him. I understand why they would use the traditional hero song to cap the route, but it seems weird that they’d be willing to subvert so many other aspects of tradition while holding to that for a song that, in my opinion, is the least interesting of all the final battle songs. As you can probably tell, At What Cost is a song that is very tonally inspiring to me. I also love Funeral of Flowers (Thunder and Rain separately and layered together), The Long Road, and Roar of Dominion for getting hyped to write.

Final Fantasy VII Remake - Ever since I got this soundtrack, I’ve been addicted. I really don’t have much to say on this one other than just to recommend you give it a listen if you’re even passingly interested in orchestral video game music. There’s some misses for me (specifically the Wall Market stuff and anything that gets into the weird electric guitar/techno stuff) but it’s overwhelmingly fantastic and can work for active listening music and for background music while you write. I’d follow up recommend you get ahold of the Acoustic Arrangements soundtrack. I can’t link you on this one but it’s worth the extra legwork to procure it COMPLETELY LEGALLY. 

Final Fantasy Distant Worlds - I was actually able to see the Distant World’s tour when it swept through Houston and at that point I had no idea what the fuck a Final Fantasy was. At all. However, seeing One Winged Angel live is not something I will ever forget. Ever. This soundtrack is great for some background listening and although it is often too upbeat for my usual tastes, it’s good when I need something easier. Okay. Real talk. I was about to recommend to you a bunch of FFXIV music (the MMO), choice selections from FFXV, and try and dig up some songs that are only available in live recordings. If you like Final Fantasy music, I recommend all of these things. The games are a clusterfuck but the music is even moreso and it’s worth your time if you like this kind of thing.

Xenoblade 2 - See? Told you I was gonna recommend this. Actually, ranking wise, I would say that I like it more than Final Fantasy. This soundtrack is magical. I cannot stress that enough, there is a level of whimsy and beauty that went into this soundtrack that all at once draws upon the genre and being it’s own thing. Like, I get it, there’s a lot of misses. The electric guitar is jarring and annoying. Listen to Sea of Clouds, like, actually listen to it. Listen to Desolation. Pay attention to the motif used in connection with Elysium and then the other songs that its used in. The Power of Jin. This is a sometimes sad but mostly beautiful and whimsical soundtrack that is good for listening and for using as background music. 

Xenoblade 1 - I don’t have as much to say about this one, I don’t feel as if it’s as emotionally resonant as my other recommendations. BUT it is gorgeous. The area themes are wonderful and perfect for setting tone. 

Hollow Knight - Hollow Knight’s soundtrack takes one step back from the drama of the others and revels in its depressive simplicity. There are songs with a more cheerful tone, and the magical whimsy of Xenoblade 2 is very much brought to life in many of the pieces, but for the most part the soundtrack is as gorgeously melancholy as the game itself. One of my favorite things in music is when songs are given new life through new context and the White Palace --> Pale Court transition is haunting. 

Diabolik Lovers - OKAY I KNOW I KNOW hear me out. This soundtrack has no right to be as gorgeous, emotional, or quality as it is. This song, Lovers, is the younger sibling of Lolita’s theme, okay? Thematically, that’s kinda hilarious, but I mean it. If you like that song, give a few of the songs from this OST a chance.

BioShock, BioShock 2, and BioShock Infinite - BioShock 1&2 are different from Infinite. A lot more grungy, a lot more angry and discordant, the strings buzz and there’s a lot more horror to it all. Infinite, on the other hand, is very pretty. Infinite’s soundtrack is about the characters and their journey and feelings. The first two game’s soundtracks are about the ruined city of Rapture. It depends on what you’re in the mood for. I write using Infinite’s music more often, but there’s pieces in the first two that capture this empty, yearning feeling that is good for setting mood.

Pathologic - “Half Life’s soundtrack directed by Genghis Khan.” It’s bizarre. It’s grungy. 

Void (Typrop) - Basically the same deal. I dunno man, I like being inspired by horror.

Outlast - It’s an orchestral horror game soundtrack. Like the game itself, there’s a lot of horror movie inspiration. 

Dishonored 1 and Dishonored 2 - This is mostly background music. It’s a stealth game so it’s kinda uneasy, but I think there’s something really unique. Maybe the instruments? There’s a lot of weird sounds used. 

Higurashi - This is a compilation of horror themed songs from the anime soundtrack, but the VN soundtrack and the non-horror stuff is pretty good, too. Michishirube is my favorite.

Madoka Magica Rebellion - The main anime soundtrack is gorgeous. The bells, the strings, the drama... I’m recommending Rebellion specifically because it’s the more cohesive and story-driven soundtrack. This one is not as horror-ish and weird than the others, it is very beautiful and nice to listen to. Sad, in some parts, too. 

Code Geass and Resurrection - Brass? Got it. Dramatic strings? Got it. Bombastic set piece songs? Triple got it. This soundtrack oozes style. In some ways, that makes it not good for writing, but in others it can. Depends on what you’re writing. I think the melodrama can be incredibly useful for getting my mind in that frenzy state. 

Okay I’m done. Thank you for bearing with me. 

If we’re talking what songs inspire specific things, the Ferdinand piece was accompanied by a lot of the Diabolik Lovers soundtrack and Final Fantasy. When I wrote my sad Felix piece, it was all about Hollow Knight with a spot of Bloodborne and Dark Souls.  

[themulberrytree]

character sheet.

full name: Shallan Davar pronunciation: Sha-Lahn Dah-var (fuck IPA i am not doing that shit again)

nicknames: strong one (by hoid), love, dear (by adolin), storming woman (mostly by kaladin)

height: 5′6″ age: 19/20 (rosharan years) / 21-22 (earth years)   zodiac: gemini (donut ask me when her bday is i donut have a date yet) languages: (spoken/written): veden (native), alethi, azish, selay (moderate skill in speaking only) thaylen (reading/writing only).

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour: rich, deep red, only red. eye colour: bright blue skin tone: shallan is very fair, though she spends as much time in the sun as she can, so her face is dusted with freckles. body type: slim and slender. unlike the curvaceous body type often seen on alethi women, shallan is much smaller both in figure and stature. she could be mistaken for delicate, at first glance. as she spends more time training with her blade, her body becomes much more defined and muscular, but she will never achieve any kind of bulky muscles, she simply does not have the body type.

accent: her natural veder accent would be considered low, given shallan’s isolation out in the countryside. she can speak in a more posh (re: acceptable) accent, but she has little reason to do so. dominant hand: right posture: shallan has the posture of a perfect vorin lady, back straight and shoulders back at all times. when sitting, her freehand always covers her safehand, placed delicately in her lap unless she is sketching. when walking, her hands are clasped in front of her. she is rarely animated in her posture when speaking, and depending on her company, she works hard to blend in. when alone, shallan may slouch when studying, or do her work in a very unlady like fashion on her bed. if she trusts her present company, they may witness this lapse in acceptable posture, but only if she trusts them.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth: jah kaved hometown: some hick town in the middle of the countryside. birth weight / height: 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 18 inches. manner of birth: natural first words: pa siblings: (all elder, all brothers) helaran, balat, twins: wikim and jushu parents: lin davar, and an unnamed mother, malise davar (step mother), all deceased. parental involvement: shallan remembers a somewhat happy childhood (although the likelihood of that being the case is up for debate). her mother taught her how to draw, and was in charge of shallan’s education in the early years. much of her early years have been forgotten due to the trauma of shallan’s witnessing (see: committing) her mother’s murder. she did not speak at all for half a year afterwards. from that point on, her father became overbearing, and with each year he was less of the man shallan had first known. he was violent towards two of her brothers and the servants, often scaring away tutors, so shallan’s education in those critical years was sporadic at best. her father demanded complete obedience, and any deviation on her part meant that a servant got beaten in her place. in order to spare them and placate her father, shallan worked hard to draw little attention to herself and obey. it was her father who also chose her devotary (purity) rather than her having the opportunity to choose for herself.

ADULT LIFE

occupation: she is the ward of jasnah kholin, having managed to convince the woman she was worthy of wardship at seventeen. after being taken in, shallan begins her education in scholarship, fine tuning her skills in making logic based arguments, study, and critical thinking.

on the shattered plains, she secures work with highprince sebarial as a clerk while maintaining the work in finding urithiru that she started with jasnah, and working to infiltrate the secret group known as the ghostbloods.

she latter assumes a more public role as a knight radiant, the first of the order of lightweavers in centuries. while her status as a radiant is known, she works very hard to keep her work covert. she deals in spywork and information, and uses her lightweaving to form disguises for herself and associates. she has also used her abilities to battle unmade, work oathgates, and help run reconnaissance in kholinar.

as highprincess, her duties would include helping manage affairs of the realm and detecting intrigue to better aid her husband.

close friends: lmafo what are those????? jk, her brothers, later adolin, renarin, kaladin, jasnah (sort of, more teacher/student) wit/hoid (when he’s around). relationship status: verse dependent, married to adolin kholin in canon financial status: her family is destitute, and shallan herself has little experience in personally handling money. that being said, she knows how to balance finances and plan expenses. when working for sebarial, she manages to secure a comfortable pay from him, her later marriage secures her financial security, though her status as a radiant could’ve done that too. driver’s license: she could probably drive, but would be terrible at it due to the fact that she’d keep lookin out the window. she has little experience on horseback, but can manage. criminal record: technically none yet, having managed to get away with murder twice. she had also stolen successfully from jasnah kholin.  

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation: bisexual romantic orientation: biromantic, could be polyromantic preferred emotional role: submissive (someone pls force her to accept comfort i am beggin) | dominant |  switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role: submissive |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed | libido: she’s basically DTF anytime and anywhere, and yes, i wish i were kidding, but she’s just horny on main. turn ons: she’s into more traditional kinds of attractiveness, people who look put together. but she really enjoys some kind of hint at wildness, hair that won’t quite stay, a kind of subtle ruggedness. post-battle disheveledness  is HOT. allow her to talk about her studies, things she’s working on or wanting to start, she’ll love that. don’t be afraid to talk about your own interests, she goes off on her own a lot, so she’ll want someone with their own hobbies too. be kind, be willing to grow and change and share. be there if she asks. laugh at her absolutely fucking awful jokes. on the more physical side, not being afraid to show affection in public. that spot on the neck below the ear? yeah, kiss it. leave a mark. kiss the inside of her wrist. do not be afraid to be rough with her, she’s not easily hurt and she doesn’t always like being treated like a china doll. go to town. BUT you must also be good at taking your time. tenderness is a good trait to have in every day life, but if you can translate that into the intimacy of the bedroom, give her a slow buildup, ur golden. turn offs: unnecessary rudeness, lack of independence. anyone who treats her like she needs protecting, or thinks she needs to confine herself in some way, for any amount of time. never laughing at her terrible jokes, or indulging her seemingly random curiosities. being a skybreaker. love language: physical touch is primary, but quality time and words of affirmation are also great. relationship tendencies: shallan has a tendency to fall fast. even when she’s telling herself to be careful and take things slow, it’s easy to pull her in and have her grow an attachment on a superficial level fairly early. she’s good about letting the other person lean on her for support, but she’s not so great when it comes to sharing anything deep about herself. she has a habit of trying to mold herself into what she thinks the other person would like, and clinging to that. if confused she might play around with feelings, though she’s not fully aware she’s doing it. she’s big on positive reinforcement, she’ll let you know if she enjoys your company, and when she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll look for fun ways to spend time with that person. she might attempt to appear more serious and mature than she is, but her silliness will slip out. when she loves though, she loves completely, and a distracted heart is settled once she makes a decision about what she wants.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song: flowers, from ha.des.town iris, goo goo dolls moth’s wings, passion pit: this is more a general vibe. i picture it when shallan is in a creative spurt. sun, sleeping at last: for the same creation aesthetic. fire drills, dessa (for when she finally Snaps. and also some lines just really Hit)

hobbies to pass the time: drawing is the big one. she’s always got her sketchbook and something to draw with on hand. it’s an art she’s perfected and uses it both for her lightweaving, and to relax. she enjoys scholarship, exploring history is of a special interest, but taking a closer look at the local flora and fauna is just as fun. she’s naturally curious, so if something grabs her attention, she will want to take a look. she also enjoys discussing what she’s working on with other people, sometimes just so she can use them as a sounding board, but also because they might have insights she doesn’t. it’s very fun for her to explore ideas. she likes going on walks, exploring the area around her. just spending quality time with people she enjoys too. mental illnesses: Dissociative Personality Disorder is the big one. ADHD, PTSD, some depression. physical illnesses: None. left or right brained: right fears: CONFINEMENT. she fears vulnerability and relying others, but she also craves it quite a bit. she fears being understood completely because she’s certain there isn’t anything left to love if someone were to see everything. she fears what she can’t understand, and losing the people she loves, more than she already has. self confidence level: extremely low. she projects an air of self confidence, but frequently downplays her talents. she finds it completely astounding that adolin might actually find her attractive in any sense, let alone be interested in her as a person. her trauma and what she precieves as crimes has left her feeling hollowed out, because she is so terrified of someone really Seeing her, she works hard to hide those corners of herself from others and often feels like she’s failing at even that. vulnerabilities: shallan keeps secrets. too many of them. and she can often dig herself into a pit and struggle to get herself out, and even when she’s in that deep, she has difficulty asking for help. she doesn’t always think things through. her dpd can leave her particularly vulnerable depending on which personality is in control (veil in particular has trouble seeing the Big Picture). it’s easy to goad her into a fight (of the verbal variety) and she will stop at nothing to have the last word. if you have members of her family to hold over her, that’s a good tool. and shallan cannot resist a good mystery, that is a surefire way to pull her in.

tagged by: @luck-crowned tagging: @marblecarved (for mary, emma, or horace!), @melnchly (meg or ros), @minastiriiths, @arturiusrex, @gxtenoughnxrve, @ambiidexter, and @arborvitas

[cosmereplay]

First Lines Game

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns! (tagged by @might-be-a-lynx, thanks!)

It’s happened often enough now that it’s practically routine: Teleb treating her with extra attention and care in the days leading up to the visit; Kadash giving Kalami her favourite little bottle of truthflower wine, accompanied by a kiss on the cheek; Kalami playing music after dinner. (link, E)

Shallan has a saying: “If I didn’t see it, then I wasn’t there.” (link, E)

“You’re in an uncommonly good mood,” Shallan noted. (link, E)

“Okay, dear, this is what we know about the plant,” Hesina said, her finger tapping the page of an open book. (link, E)

Kaladin would do anything for Bridge Four. (link, E)

"Stop hogging those," Adolin complained, reaching over and grabbing for the bowl of snacks in Jakamav's lap. (link, M)

Navani had done her work well. (link, E)

Teft was craving again, and it had gotten to be too much. (link, E)

It was the end of a long day of meetings and decision-making, and Dalinar found himself looking forward to some alone time. (link, E)

It’s supposed to be a distraction, and for a while, it works for me. (link, M)

I've done first lines wrapped before, and I think some of these are an improvement over last year's! I'm keeping a good variation (I do tend to start with "Character was doing/thinking x" so it's nice to get away from that). It's also good to see I'm starting with dialogue and jumping right into the scene more. This is the first time I've written something in present tense. It was a good experience, so I'm trying it again with my current WIP. #10 was also my first first-person fic! It's nice to see that I've been stretching a bit.

I know this is a bit of a diversion but I've been thinking about my range of genders and ships, and this is a decent mix: 3 MMFs (unless ardents are nonbinary which makes one NB/M/F), and one each of FFM, MMM, FFFM, M/F, M/M, F/F, and M. Okay so I have a favourite 😅

Also I can tell how the Stormlight kink meme has impacted my writing, lmao! I think 7 of these were for the kink meme.

I don't know who's played already or who's been tagged. No pressure at all, and if you weren't tagged and want to please do! @cosmererambles @mossywitcher @ternaryflower53 @sapphicspren @earloflakes @knightsgaydiant @wanderingchanneler. If you do play, please tag me so I can see!

[luchibelle-throughthecosmere]

RoW: chapter 18

We start the chapter with small talk about the other members of Bridge Four, reminding us that Rock left to the Peaks and stating once more that Teft is awesome. And then... THE FOURTH BRIDGE FINALLY ARRIVED TO URITHIRU. 🥳🥳

Here we go, this will be long... VERY LONG. Lots of Laral, Lirin, Hesina, emojis and letters in bold. No one will analyse this chapter as deeply as I just did, you were warned.

Kaladin alighted on the deck, returning the salutes from the Windrunners left to guard the ship. “I’m sorry the trip took so long,” he told the gathering refugees. “At least it’s given us plenty of time to get things ready for you.”

All those chapters with Kaladin being depressed made me think he was doing nothing but he killed himself to make the place as comfortable as possible for his parents and neighbours. 😱😱 Kaladin is so precious.

Once they get off the space ship Kaladin starts the tour and won't stop talking for the rest of the chapter. No grumping. He was a kid on a candy shop. 🍬🍭 I had never heard him speak so many words in so little time.

His parents ducked under the obstruction. They’d left Kaladin’s brother with Laral’s children and their governess.

Laral's children, the unthinkable has happenned. 😭 They tried to warn me but it didn't make it hurt any less.

She seemed to be recovering from the loss of her husband, though Kaladin thought he knew her well enough to see through the front.

💔 Kaladin can deny it as much as he wants to but even after years of separation he still has a deep connection to Laral and worries about her a lot. 💕

When he was young, Kal didn't always understood her. Laral was always more mature and they weren't in sync. The time lapse has changed that and now I believe Kaladin would be able to understand her in a deeper level and (hopefully) comprehend why she was forced to side with the Roshones. 💏

It will be fun to watch how they interact without Tien, Laral was lowkey jealous of him because he was the only one who could make him feel better when he was going through a bad times, specially during the the Wip. 🌧💧 In recent years, Shallan and the Kholins have tried to do that for him and it would be nice to see how Laral reacts. *prays* If only she was given enough page time to trully explore that.

On another note, now that Kaladin is Highmarshall, does he surpass Laral in rank?

“It is spectacular,” his mother said. “Though I’m a little more stunned to hear you referring to Brightness Navani Kholin by her first name. Isn’t she queen of this tower?”

First, the Kholins have kind of become his family so he is allowed to do that (also, they are family since Aeshudan and Hesina are related). 🤷‍♀️ And second, Navani "Queen of the Tower" Kholin. We approve.

Behold Lirin talking about strata with Shallan. And get ready for a bunch of witty jokes between Hesina and Shallan. 🙈🙉🙊 THEY NEED TO INTERACT ASAP.

Let's skip the metals discussion for another time or else this post will never end.

... Hesina said. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works. In any case, maybe we should let Kal show us on to the prepared rooms. He’s obviously excited.”

“How can you tell?” Syl asked. “I don’t think he ever gets excited. Not even when I tell him I have a fun surprise for him.”

You can tell by how much he is babbling about Urithiru and the Kholins.

Boots count: 1 👢 (@/Artists on tumblr, we need a rat in a boot) 👨‍🎨👩‍🎨

Watching Lirin obsess. Hearing Hesina trying to get him to pay attention to the people around him. The fond way Lirin took the jokes, playing into them by being comically stern.

They love each other a lot. It's so refreshing to see that, a mature couple. Navani and Kholin are mature but they haven't been together in a relationship for as long as Kaladin's parents have. 😍 They are the paragon of love, nothing has made them grow apart, only stronger together.

Part of him wished he could simply be their little boy again—wished they didn’t have to intersect with his current life, where they would undoubtedly start hearing of the things he’d endured and done. The things that eventually had broken him.

So he didn't tell them. 😠😡🤬 Storms, storms, storms!

Laral will get that corner room, which is the largest, with a private balcony.

Of course.

“What’s at the top?” Lirin asked.

“Meeting rooms for the Radiants,” Kaladin said. “There’s nothing on the very top—just a flat roof. The view is great though. I’ll show it to you sometime.”

How about a lashing/flying trip? This would be a perfect opportunity to deepen their bond and show Lirin what being a Windrunner trully means for Kaladin.

Their rooms speak so much about them (and how well Kaladin knows them and how much he loves them).

Hesina was always an intelligent woman, stocking her with books 📚 will allow her to learn new things and make good use of her wisdom.

Oroden, child of peace, has toys 🧸 chosen by Syl. What kind of toys did she choose? 🐭 She shouldn't be trusted after the rat incident.

And Lirin, who is overwhelmed with emotion, won the lottery because he was reassured of his utility, has more instruments than he ever imagined and Kaladin will be joining him again. He just won 💎x1000 diamond broams.

“They say they’ve found a way to infect people with a weak, easily overcome version of a disease—which leaves them immune for life to more harsh variants.”

That's a vaccine, in case you were wondering.

AND FINALLY... Kaladin as a surgeon? 🙊🙉🙈

🎶 *suspense music* 🎶

This was one of my predictions, so it's good to see it happenning. Now, as happy as I am that Kaladin will get a change at being a surgeon, let's be cautious about it. He has a second chance at it but it doesn't guarantee that "Lirin was always right", Kaladin has changed a lot and maybe he can't be a surgeon anymore. Let's celebrate with caution.

[inktail]

Re: fanfiction questions post. Got any answers for 3, 14, 28, 39, and/or 50?

Boy do I

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

I’d love ot say Homestuck, but as special and formative as it was for me, Homestuck won’t be winning any “Best Fandom” awards, like, ever.  The communities I’ve joined for FFXV though are some of the chillest, funniest, and easygoing folk I’ve ever encountered in fandom.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Steve&Bucky forever. Steve&Bucky& the Commandos, especially. I miss them daily.  Noctis & the chocobros, all day every day. Kaladan & Shallan, from Stormlight. They bonded over puns and could get up to so much mischief together if Kaladin weren't so high strung. 

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Ohh I do have some frog-status crack in the works that I toadally want to commission art for if/when it’s done. 

Otherwise, when I get back to it, I hope “Nocits Accidentally becomes Captain of The Kingsglaive” gets enough attention to spark some fanart. I would cry, die, and then resurrect myself and forgo sleep and water to speed write the rest of the fic to show that artist the depths of my appreciation ;0; I’d hope for some Noctis&Nyx interactions, because they will be very good friends. 

But, if it must be a published work, the Zaerith drabbles I did have some real cute moments in them that I would also die to see drawn. Wishing on flowers, or maybe conspiring in the garden. 

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

I’m not self-aware enough of my abilities to answer this x3′’. I can say that I love to sneak in headcanons and worldbuilding, and being able to work characters into using their settings.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I started reading fanfic because my BFF would send me Harry Potter crack fic she’d found on Deviantart to read. I quickly learned that I hated reading long swaths of text on computer screens, and that I didn't care at all about Harry Potter. We soon co-wrote our own Kingdom Hearts crack fic (by passing a spiralbound notebook back and forth at church activities,) which I do believe is still out there in the depths of deviantart, where I hope it remains buried for all of time. 

Timeline gets blurry after that, but I remember reading and writing Twilight fic on FFN, definitely in middle school. I vaguely recall printing out fic to read in high school, scouring the pre ao3 internet for any flavor of Blood and Chocolate fic. 

I was writing my Cyborg 009 self insert epic in High School, but quit when my only ficc’ish friend refused to read it (BFF had moved states years ago). We also co-write Hellsing fic together, upgrading to a 3 ring binder of looseleaf paper that we passed back and forth in geometry. At some point I also had Pern fic churning around in my notebooks, but ficcish friend’s rejection really hurt my feelings and miiiight be the source of why I struggle to show off anything I write, now that i'm thinking about it, and so in notebooks it stayed.

(I also got to write fic as a creative fiction assignment as a freshman, it was glorious.)

Anyway then I got super depressed and read “real books” in the way normal healthy folk drink water (Like, I took Wheel of Time down, one book per week or less) until i got entrenched in Homestuck and started reading and writing fic again in 2011/12 ish