#so maybe leave me alone cause it doesnt matter

[lesbf]

please stop moving

We must keep moving and changing in order to grow….

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[angelicblondie]

what about luke castellan x ballerina!reader but she had to give up ballet when she went to camp and he like finds her dancing in the forest one night. maybe when he’s a little busy with like backstabbing everyone but yk🤷‍♀️

(like meet me in the pale moonlight or tomorrow never came coded like ughh😩😩)

wait...i adore this. as a dancer this made my heart actually jump for joy.

every night, luke was plagued with dreams. the not good kind, more specifically.

it started a few months ago. the deep ancient voice of a titan long imprisoned would echo through his mind, urging his darkest desires of revenge and shameful need for power to the forefront of his thoughts. he was angry, angry at the gods for ignoring him and all their other children. he wanted to stop this system, he was full of bitterness.

so the voice in his head was appealing. he knew that it probably wasn't morally good to listen to the evil titan kronos, but then again, if it all ended up with the system of the gods abolished, he could live with that.

but anyways, the point is, dreams invaded the peace luke found in his unconscious state, and sometimes, it was too much. sure, he agreed with the titan, but he wasn't ready to abandon home and betray his friends, not when they were the only ones who accepted him. he couldn't do that, no matter how much to words appealed to him.

so, when the hermes cabin felt suffocating, and his mind was reeling, late at night, luke would venture off into the woods.

luke felt at comfort with the odd eeriness that filled the late night air - he didn't jump or flinch at the sounds of leaves crunching or bushes rustling - he felt at peace with the scary.

that was, until he saw footsteps in the mud.

curious, luke followed the trail, until he reached an more open area of the forest, and he leaned up against a tree, taking in the sight in front of him with pure curiosity.

there you were, wearing grey sleep shorts, a black tank top, and a pink cardigan, dancing in the middle of this forest.

you seemed to be in your own world, sneakers planted in the ground as you did some simple plies, and luke watched, transfixed by the sight. your hair was tied up by a pink ribbon, and you had the most peaceful expression on your face, not one luke had ever seen before.

you were relatively new to camp, only having arrived in the past year. you were quickly claimed by your mother, aphrodite, and gained a fast group of friends and a positive reputation. luke and you hadn't talked much - sure, he gave you your tour, and the two of you had got on quite well, but once you got claimed, he didn't have much time to talk to you, given the rapid enthusiasm of your siblings.

he didn't know you were a dancer, a good one in fact. you elegantly pranced around, your feet moving quickly yet gracefully. luke was mesmerized - he had never really seen anything like it, like you. you seemed so free - so unburdened by the struggles of being a demi god. just you, alone (kind of?), dancing - luke guessed like every other demigod, you had found your own way to feel normal in this crazy world.

eventually, your eyes caught luke, and you stumbled back, imidiatley flushing. gods, you were mortified!

"l-luke? what are you doing here?" you exclaimed indignantly.

luke remained leaned up against the tree, the corners of his lips tilting upwards. "was on a walk, happend to come across you."

you huff. "how long have you been there?"

he shrugs, standing up straight. "not long." he walks forwards a bit, closer to where you stood. "you dance?"

wasnt it obvious? you thought, but awkwardly twiddled your thumbs. "well, used to, i guess. cant really anymore, cause....you know." you say, your voice somewhat shy.

luke humed in recognition. "yeah, the whole demigod thing doesnt help. wouldnt be fun if a cyclops showed up to a rectial, huh?" he said, the dry yet teasing humour in his voice elicited a giggle from your lips. "guess not," you agree softly, your eyes twinkling happily.

luke, feeling a little bashful, rubbed the back of his neck. "uh, your really good by the way. i feel a bit bad interrupting, you were in the zone."

you bite your lip, feeling a bit embarrassed. "yeah well, theres never really time to dance anymore, so i guess whenever i cant sleep i come out here to." you look him up and down. "is that why you're out here? you cant sleep?"

luke hums. "yeah. nightmares," he simplifies, his thoughts being brought back to the reason he left his cabin.

you blow out a breath of air. "hate those," you mumble.

luke observes you. "you enjoying camp?" he asks, changing subject.

you smile a little, nodding. "yeah, its different then what i thought it would be. it actually been really great, my sibling have been super welcoming," you say, your voice sounding so genuine and enthusiastic it was hard for luke not to smile.

his lips quirk up, eyes filled with a bit of mischief. "yeah, well, camp'll do that for you."

you bite your lip, almost as if you were contemplating your next words. "y'know, i haven't seen much of you since i got here. you must be busy."

luke chuckles a bit. "why, have you been looking for me?"

his flirty words heated your cheeks and you let out a nervous laugh. "no!" yes. "i was just wondering."

luke poked his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "right, right."

you talked for a little longer, before luke escorted you back to your cabin. you thanked him with a quick kiss to the cheek before running inside, and luke walked back to his own cabin, distracted from the overbearing titan in his dreams, even if only for a little while.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

protag johnny truant talks a lot abt his sex life and the girls he fucks, seemingly without a direct relation to what he footnotes. but theres always this weird dissociative vibe to it and a lot of ppl think he's lying to sound better than he is (smth he admits to having done, telling insane stories abt how he got his disfigurements is part of his (often unsuccesful) pickup routine), but i ask what does he have to lie about in footnotes no one is ever going to see? my theory is that they are things he thinks happened, or things he is afraid of happening, and writing them out is his way of assuaging the anxiety brought on by delusion or ocd

notably these alleged fantasies are not particularly flattering or satisfying. they are under bizarre or unideal circumstances, involve him feeling deeply ambivalent and lonely, and explicitly mentions not finishing. a woman he doesnt remember becoming friends with uses him as revenge sex on her fiancé. so i find it hard to believe hes doing it to bolster an image or even an ego. if they do happen, even in part, these are not healthy or even necessarily coping mechanisms that make him feel better. often they make him feel worse, lost, alone.

I won't deny that Johnny's parts can be hard to get through. He can be crass, misogynistic, uncomfortable, unhygenic, dissociative, painful, ugly, and sometimes there's just plain bad sex. But I think it's unfair to discount these sections as entirely discrete from and unrelated to Zampano's paper on The Navidson Record. Johnny's story is included in House of Leaves for a reason. It's a part of the whole. There's a lot to be said about Johnny, whose life has never had any security to begin with, whose life is a series of winding pathways that leave him substance reliant and unsure of his place in anything-- in space in time in other people's lives-- reading a book about a movie where this upper middle class nuclear family moves into a new house and immediately have their own sense of domestic safety completely and totally shattered.

Here he is, speaking about his disfigurements (the things he has to tell ludicrous, pulpy stories about in order for people to not recoil away from him):

"All of it true too, though of course scars are much harder to read. Their complex inflections do not resemble the reductive ease of any tattoo, no matter how extensive, colorful or elaborate the design. Scars are the paler pain of survival, received unwillingly and displayed in the language of injury."

Here's him talking about that lady who has him as revenge sex:

"Before I left she told me our story: where we'd met-Texas- kissed, but never made love and this had confused her and haunted her and she had needed to do it before she got married which was in four months to a man she loved who made a living manufacturing TNT exclusively for a highway construction firm up in Colorado where he frequently went on business trips and where one night, drunk, angry and disappointed he had invited a hooker back to his motel room and so on and who cared and what was I doing there anyway? I left, considered jerking off, finally got around to it back at my place though in order to pop I had to think of Thumper. It didn't help. I was still hurting, abandoned, drank three glasses of bourbon and fumed on some weed, then came here, thinking of voices, real and imagined, of ghosts, my ghost, of her, at long last, in this idiotic footnote, when she gently pushed me out her door and I said quietly "Ashley" causing her to stop pushing me and ask "yes?" her eyes bright with something she saw that I could never see though what she saw was me, and me not caring though now at least knowing the truth and telling her the truth: "I've never been to Texas.""

I don't know. I just have a profound compassion for this guy. Maybe it's my own history with abuse and neglect and dissociation and unreality but it kind of shocks me to see how many people respond to this guy who desperately needs help and isn't going to get it, who is deeply terrified of other people and wanting them and hurting them or himself... as an imposition and annoying. It's such a fundamentally different read, one I hadn't even considered.

[ants-personal]

i hope we get to see eli trying to apologize to demetri and of course at first it doesnt work demteri isnt answering him barely looking at him argued about sitting next to him for the trip he tries offering demteris favorite snacks or they can watch his favorite movie he even shares news on something he knows would normally have demetri light up and talking for the next hour but he gets a snide remark and then more silence which even at the hotel finding they are sharing a room eli can tell demetri is holding back another argument since johnny already told him of he has to hear another stupid argument there will be violence

so in the room they both lay there tension thick and eli breaks first frustrated he doesnt know what demetri wants from him hes already apologized hes tried to make it up what else could demetri want for him to beg for forgiveness then please forgive me for not telling you about mit and for calling yoy annoying all mighty demetri and that seems to do something cause demetris rushing out of the room even though they arent suppose to leave which just alarms eli cause when has demetri broken rules and in a place they both dont know

Rushing into the halls and past Daniel who apprently had just caught miguel,sam,and robby all sneaking around who has to grab him by the shoulder to slow him down and reminds him they aren't suppose to leave their rooms turning him to lead him back but eli pushes him off he needs to go do something very important he has to make something right he will go back as soon as its over please and Daniel ponders for a moment staring at eli who is giving his best desperate puppy eyes and so daniel gives in makes it sound like hes yelling at eli to go back and whisper if he isnt in 20 hell send johnny to get him instead

And so hes off running and jumping down flights of stairs the elevator taking to long he doesnt know where demetri would have gone and the hotel isnt too massive but itd take longer than 20 to search the whole thing fonally reaching the lobby he paces eyes scanning the small crowd he wouldnt go far as to not get lost (or kidnapped dont you know the how high the rates of boys like us getting snatched by some creep)

Thats when he spots a sign for some sort of garden courtyard and some part of him is certain that's where hell be so he makes his way pushing the door into the cooler night air its a decent size area lined with benches and seating areas all under canopy of trees and tall bushes blowing gently in the wind litering the ground in shadows theres two lamp posts on either side leaving the corners as thr perfect hide away he knows to keep quiet or demteri will run off before he can get close and theyll be back to square one

He squints into the darkness looking for any sign it isnt until he catches a glimpse of demteris red snoopy pj bottoms he stops in his tracks he hasnt been seen yet he can hear sniffling and knows demetris hugging himself curled over his knees as he tries to keep his sobs quiet hes seen it plently of times when hed get injured by whoever decided to beat them that day or when his parents were first going through their divorce maybe he hated eli seeing him as weaker or maybe he just didnt want eli to feel bad either way it always made elis heart hurt to see his friend like that and its devastating now that he is the cause of it

He takes a deep breath before calling out his name gently but it doesnt matter demteris jumping up and backing away quickly wiping his face of any evidence telling him to go away and leave him alone throwing in a your not suppose to leave the room after dark which eli cant help the tiny chuckle as he points out neither was demetri which as them both standing there demteri looking down at glancing occasionally at eli and any exit he can find adding onto elis mountain of guilt he thinks i could still be a threat so he stay in the same spot but begs demetri to please just tell me how to fix this

And course demetri whos hugging himself shrugs theres nothing to fix everythings fine course he has to be difficult thinking eli is like his mom who would believe him rather than push and get into a round bout argument he never did find out what he told her about his broken arm and so eli stands his ground presses only getting biting remarks back until they are both yelling staff members and sensis and karate war be damned

and soon it finally comes out demetri yelling that eli doesnt even want him in elis life again so whats the point in fixing things which tales eli by surprise demetri taking his silence as shameful agreement he lists off how eli thinks hes better how he thinks demetri doesnt even deserve to be here or how hes closer to the gang than demetri so why would he even need to hang around nerdy loser demetri or go to the same school when he can go off and be mister cool wherever he goes without demetri dragging him down how demetri will end up .. all alone without his best friend again who wants nothing to do with him and is fine without him and he just doesnt understand how after everything theyve been through to just throw him away again when its convenient for him all the while demetris the fool who loves eli though it all anyways

and they both just stand there in stunned silence only disrupted by a security guard coming out calling out to whoevers been making all the noise to come out and before eli can even turn to look towards the direction of the voice demetris grabbing his arm and pulling him after him exiting the yard from the otherside the gaurd yelling after them and soon they are running through halls and hiding around corners to try and make it back up to the room dodging staff and even Johnny and Daniel who are certainly looking for them now

after demteri shoves them into an elevator leaving them both panting as they ride up eli can help but ask love? causing demetri to huff cause of pf course thats what he focuses on and before he can say anything else the elevator dings and they are jogging back to their room eli getting there first they can hear the sensis aruging and thats when eli realizes he doesnt have a key demetri calls him an idiot harshlely under his breath producing a key as they spill into the room turning the lights off and standing by the door both jumping when Johnny bangs on it yelling that they better be in there nerds

They both share a panicked look before they are rustling eachother up to make it look like theyve been sleeping and demetri is opening the door squinty eyed acting very confused and stubbornly innocent eli coming up behind playing his innocence up as well Johnny can only squint at them while eli and Daniel share a knowing look and soon they leave telling them they better not be out again its only when after the door is shut they both sigh in relief and soon find themselves giggling the air lighter between them

Its demetri who turns away first stating its late and they should go to sleep if they plan on actually winning tomorrow climbing into his bed barely getting under the covers before eli is jumping onto of him smile big on his face as he leans over his body demetri scowls and tells him to get off and go to bed but elis too giddy to happy it makes sense now all clicking and he probably is more brawn than brains at this point cause how could he not see maybe he didnt want to at somepoint but its always been there demetri loves him which is a given but this is different kind and its suddenly the only thing in elis life that makes sense after everything demetri was still there for him going out his way to check up on him to make him laugh to include him even in his future the way he looks at him during training even now as demetri still lays theres not pushing him away and telling him he looks stupid and to get off again and the answer is so clear and he knows hes looking at him like he always has like he was the his earths sun stars and moon

And demetris gone quiet watching him closely with baited breath and eli leans down they are almost nose to nose whispering if he really meant it that he loved him he so vlose he can see the tears slowly well up in demetris eyes thinking eli is being cruel hell make fun of him soon enough use it against him whatever part of hawk survived scares him so all he can do is nod taking in a shaky breath as the tears run down eli cupping his face gently wiping the tears with his thumbs smiling softly as he shushes him and whispers reassurances neither sure who closed the distance as lips meet tentatively and softly at first turning into much more confident eagerness demetris sitting up to run his fingers through elis hair eli clinging to demetris t-shirt only pulling when both desperately need air its only then that eli with the sight of a flustered demetris pecks his cheeks and whispers love into his ear

[dilucs-princess]

Of Bliss

Beast au

Pairing: sub!Dazai x Switch!reader x dom!Chūya

Words: 2,542

Warnings: fem!reader (she/her pronouns used, female anatomy), messy writing, slight degradation (given), hair pulling, reader is Dazai's subordinate, vibrator, subspace (on Dazai's part), aftercare is hinted at but not written!

Reblogs > likes!

Note: Some of the beginning/middle doesnt make sense as I started to write this beginning of November, but I have forgotten what I was writing im so sorry. Just pay attention to the smut ya'll

Just a normal day in the mafia. The only thing being, you were the boss’s personal assistant, though saying this, he rarely made you do any work. He usually sent his bodyguard to do that, considering Nakahara got aggressive when someone treated the boss with ‘disrespect’. Your job was to sit there and look pretty, and no matter how many times the boss said that, it filled you with fury every time. Today was your lucky day, or so it seemed. It was nearing time for you to go home when you heard a knock at your office door. A lazy “Come in” fell from your lips as you continued to sort through today’s pricings of the jewels smuggled in, the counterfeit money hadn’t been printed, cut or even prepared and Nakahara was going to have your head if it wasn’t sorted by tomorrow.

You looked up as Atsushi opened your office door, and you couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face upon seeing the kid. “Hey, Nakajima. How is everything?” You spoke softly, knowing that despite the kid’s violent nature, he was still a bit shaky and shy. He smiled nervously, wringing his hands, knowing he was about to feel your full wrath. “Uhm.. Nakahara-san sent me to get you.. He said that the boss needs you in his office..” He replied, keeping steady eye contact despite everything. Your eyes glinted. Of fucking course, just as you thought you would be let off the hook, Dazai needed you. You groaned loudly, slamming a piece of paper down on your desk, pretending not to notice Atsushi’s flinch. “Why didn't he call me or press the buzzer?!.. Okay. Nakajima, you’re free to retire for the day with Kyouka. Thank you for informing me.” Atsushi nodded, bowed and left.

Maybe you deliberately stood up and prepared your things slowly. After all, the boss could wait, it’s his fault for needing you when you were so close to finishing for the day. You sighed deeply, finally pulling your bag onto your shoulder. As soon as you’d finished talking, you were leaving. Why stay any longer than you had to? You opened your door, took a deep breath, closed and locked it soon after. Looking at the clock on the wall, you couldn't help the slight twinge of annoyance you felt. You grumbled to yourself, about how this wasn’t  fair and why don't you just quit? Dazai would suffer from it more than you, no one knew you were in the mafia, so you could easily get another job, maybe the agency to spite him? That thought alone brought a smile to your face and a small chuckle graced the air.

You straightened down your skirt before sighing and turning the corner, starting on the long corridor, which seemed to go on forever now, towards the boss’ office.with a small hum, clutching onto your bag tightly where it was resting on your shoulder. A few strides and you were in front of the office. A deep breath and you knocked. A few seconds and it was opened.

Nakahara opened it, and he must’ve seen the confused look in your eyes when you saw the smirk he was desperately trying to hide. He rolled his eyes and stepped to the side to let you in. “Do come in (y/n)-san,” he spoke politely and you nodded, walking into the room. You jumped when you heard Nakahara allow the door to slam shut behind you, his chuckle infuriated you but you pushed that to the back of your mind as you turned your attention back to the boss, trying to hide your anger. “What is it you needed from me?” You asked and even Dazai could hear your annoyance. 

He swallowed, looking up at Chuuya, causing the latter to smirk, leaning against the wall behind the desk. “Go on, boss. You were the one so desperate to speak to her,” he mumbled. You looked at Nakahara, confusion clouding your mind when you saw him on his phone. He always respected the boss and you swore you could hear a bomb go off in his mind when someone said ‘Dazai’ instead of boss. You sighed, tearing your gaze from the ever confusing man and directed your focus back to the boss, though he seemed to shrink under your stare. He folded his hands in his lap, trying to keep face and act completely normal in front of his subordinate.

Chuuya’s smirk went unnoticed by you but Dazai could feel it almost burning into his soul. He squirmed and he finally went to answer your question. “A-ah, I wanted to ask how the most recent miss-missions are going? What has Nakajima said to you recently?” You sighed, shaking your head. That was it? Couldn’t he have asked or told Nakahara to send an email? You shook your head nonetheless, reaching into your bag to grab some paperwork and walked closer to the desk.

“Here you are, sir. Everything has been going well, a new load of smuggled jewels came in today, unfortunately we are behind on the counterfeit money. However, Atsushi has assured me this morning that he will make sure it is done by tomorrow morning so some workers are doing overtime tonight…”You continued talking, explaining the work that will be done tonight and then beginning of tomorrow, even explaining to him Kyouka’s work for the day.

Dazai, on the other hand, was squirming in his chair, his chin originally resting on his hand before he moved it to cover his mouth, your words almost sounding foreign to him, eyes wide. He tried to focus and was glad you continued to stare down at the paperwork rather than at him. His other hand was gripping his thigh, the material bunched up slightly in his hand. He couldn’t even ask you to go, because as far as you knew, he had asked you to come to the office.

His blood ran cold as a soft, almost needy whine left his lips, just after you had stopped speaking. Your eyes locked into his and he could’ve swore his heart stopped in that moment. “You fucking whore,” you seethed, eyes wide and angry. You didn’t know the full story but you could put two and two together.

Chuuya laughed, putting his phone back in his pocket, humming lightly as he walked over. A hand went in front of Dazai, resting on his neck and squeezing gently, causing him to gasp. “You’re right. He is a whore, poor thing just couldn’t wait till he got home. Why don’t you tell her how beautiful you looked across your desk as I fucked you five minutes before she walked in. Oh!” He seemed considerate, pulling Dazai’s head back by his hair, “Or maybe I should show her?” he teased, though Dazai’s eyes widened again, a soft whine leaving his lips. 

You weren’t going to stand being ignored, especially after being called here, this time you supposed that Chuuya was actually the one who called you, to see your boss acting like a whore or maybe to get some sort of satisfaction of fucking you, you wasn’t sure yet. But you sighed, walking to the side of the desk those two were on and sat on it, a high heel resting on Dazai’s thigh, causing him to shiver. You could see his hand clench as though he wanted to touch you. Not yet.

“This is what’s going to happen, bitch,” it was nice to have some sort of authority over him. “You’re going to get me off and if you’re good enough, i’ll fuck you. If not or if you tease, are too slow or act like a brat, i’ll spank you so hard, you’ll see stars. Are we understood?” Dazai nodded eagerly and you had to stifle a laugh. Poor man.

Chuuya hummed lightly, watching the both of you. “Right, you pull up your dress and then rest your legs on Dazai’s shoulders, He’ll kneel down, alright?” You looked up as he spoke and nodded, hoping down from the desk to hike your dress up to your hips and take your underwear off, leaving it on the floor so you could be embarrassed about that later. If you knew this would happen, you would’ve at least worn something sexy. You watched as Chuuya forced Dazai onto his knees, looking up at you so needily, whining and whimpering and you would’ve been lying if you said it wasn’t the slightest bit hot. You pushed yourself back onto the desk, legs on his shoulders and ankles crossing behind his head. “Come on then, pretty boy. Show me what you’ve got,” you hummed and he wasted no second in getting to work.

His tongue was immediately pressed flat against your pussy, eyes closed as he held onto your thighs. He licked from your hole to your clit, swiping and then pressing a kiss to it before looking up at you. You whined, surprised at how quickly he acted. Your hands shot to his hair, almost pressing his face to your pussy. He encased your clit into his mouth, suckling before resting his tongue against it. You were moaning and tugging at his hair, your head tilting backwards, broken praises beginning to fall from your lips. You felt him moan against your cunt and your hips jolted, trying to keep his face in place, tugging at his hair, only eliciting more moans and whimpers from Dazai.

“You’re so fucking pathetic, Osamu,” Chuuya mused, watching from his spot in the background, watching the entire scene without any sort of interest and even you felt a twinge to try and impress him. He pushed himself away from the wall, walking over to you, tilting your head up with a smirk. “God, even you melt into my hands. What the fuck am I going to do with you two, hm?” He chuckled, quickly taking your lips and claiming you as his. You mewled into his mouth, hands gripping onto his blazer instead and Dazai felt disappointment when the pressure left his head but continued to lap at your pussy, almost as though he could feel it. 

You parted from Chuuya, panting heavily as a string of salvia kept you together. “You close, pretty girl?” Chuuya murmured, a hand on the back of your neck as he kept your foreheads together. Your face was contorted into pleasure and nodded, eyes squeezing shut but they soon opened again as you gasped, Dazai slipping two fingers into your pussy, you immediately clenching around them. “Fuck!” You yelled, back arching and one hand continued to hold onto Chuuya, the other digging into the desk and your ankles pressing down on Dazai’s back, trying to encourage him to continue. Chuuya had to laugh, you were both truly pathetic.

“I’m close, Osamu,” you managed to gasp out, hips rocking now, Dazai whining and just wrapping his arm around your waist, scissoring his fingers inside you and continued to suck on your cunt. Wet and messy noises filled the room as Chuuya began to stroke your hair, humming softly and desperately wishing he could take a photo. “Fuck! Osamu-!” Was the only warning Dazai got as your body shook, back arching away from Chuuya’s hold and pressing Dazai’s head down as you came, eyes wide, loud moans leaving your lips.

Dazai continued to give you gentle licks through your orgasm but allowed you to push him away when the pain began to set in. He pulled away and pulled his fingers out, eyes practically glimmering at the sight of your hole fluttering and clenching around nothing. He made no effort to get up, still kneeling on the floor, looking up at you with a smile of an angel. Chuuya, however, didn’t even give you a moment to get your thoughts straight. “So? Was he a good boy?” You blinked before nodding, smiling gently.

“Come on, baby, let me return the favour,” you replied, allowing Dazai to sit back on the chair as you removed your legs from his shoulders. Chuuya pushed the chair over to you so you didn’t have to attempt to stand on shaky legs, which you were immensely grateful for. You reached down, returning your feet to rest on the chair again as your hands quickly undid his fly, freeing his cock from his underwear, not even properly undressing him. You laughed and Dazai turned his head away in shame.

It all made sense now; the small noises while you were talking, Chuuya on his phone as you saw the little vibrator taped to his dick. “Oh, you really are a little slut, Osamu, fuckin’ hell,” you murmured, thanking Chuuya for the lube he handed you. Dazai just blushed more intensely at the degradation, but he couldn’t really deny it. You hummed to get his attention and smiled kindly when he looked at you almost instantly. “Eyes on me, baby,” you spoke in a commanding tone, leaving no room for interpretation. You wrapped your hand around his dick, relishing in the way he jumped and shivered.

He was very responsive to all of your actions, little moans and whimpers and pleas falling from his lips, not a single coherent sentence left him, he had given himself over to you completely. His mind was incredibly fuzzy as you took the tip between your two hands, his back moving away from the chair as he moaned in surprise, eyes closing as he took in the pleasure, allowing himself to fully enjoy it, responsibilities didn’t matter at the minute; he was your’s to use as you liked.

Chuuya moved once again, this time to kiss Dazai and you smile, he seemed a lot more gentler while kissing him than he did you, then again, even you were treating Dazai as though he was something precious, something that deserved to be treated and held, to be looked after and admired. The noises that left him, you were tempted to keep him to yourself. His hips began to buck upwards and you laughed, close already? Chuuya did mention he was fucked before you entered  and been teased the entire time, the poor thing must be so deseperate! 

There were tears in those beautiful eyes as Nakahara pulled away, moving his head to face you again. “Cum when you want,” you whispered reassuringly. He almost sobbed as you said those words, nodding and holding onto the arm rests of the chair tightly. It didn’t take long for the poor thing after that,thighs shaking, head thrown back, hair sticking to his forehead, cumming with a cry of your name. You cooed and spoke to him gently, continuing to stroke him through it only removing your hand when his body began to shake from the overstimulation.

“You still with us, sweet thing?” Chuuya asked gently, running a hand through Dazai’s hair. He nodded, whining as he reached up to chase Chuuya’s lips. He laughed, pressing a quick kiss there before pulling away and looking at you. “You keep an eye on him. I’ll go grab a cloth and water.” You nodded obediently, watching as Chuuya left before hopping down from the desk and taking Dazai into your arms.

[helplessautomaton]

"Sweet Tooth"

-WC 1700

finally! a JD fic and a fic i managed to pull through and finish within a day, enjoy! based off of 1989 but i suppose that doesnt matter

TWS: murder, yandere overall, reader gets a bruise, ehhh i think thats it continue on

~

A soft blow of smoke escapes your mouth, thinning out into the midnight sky above. The soft blue of the night gently painting your backyard into something more beautiful than during the day. Wind subtly brushing past your hair and clothing. Finally crushing the used up cigarette before going back inside your house, checking the late time, still deciding to head out for something sweet. The walk towards your nearest convenience store wasn't all that far, the wind only proving bothersome during trips. The flashing blue light of the open sign was a warm welcome, opening up the door and heading inside without any trouble. You grabbed a random assortment of sweet treats ending it off with an empty slushie cup within your hands. It was half full before your head perked up at the sudden voice directed towards you. “It appears someone has a sweet tooth at this hour.”

Your eye stays on him, taking in all his figure has to offer before properly responding to his words. “It’s all I need to keep me satisfied.” 

You’ve barely known JD, his presence in your life just only appearing suddenly in the middle of the school year. You’re sure he has some classes shared with you but your head’s too foggy to even attempt to recollect. “You planning to share?” JD’s eyes look down at the bundle of snacks next to the slushie machine as you’re fiddling with putting the cap on your beloved slushie flavor. You weren't planning to have company or to let alone share the snacks you were about to buy. “Only if you pay for them then maybe I'll let you.”

Even though your time with JD has been limited, he's managed to grow on you within a span of two weeks, giving a feeling of a longer time spent. He let out a soft chuckle, gently shaking his head before also getting a slushie cup to fill. You weren't being serious on your claim but seeing as you were walking out alongside him, it would be fine to share a little after all. His bike shined with the blue light of the sign, showing both of your guys' reflection picture perfectly. The wind got colder since you left your house, paired with the sweet drink in your hand you couldn't help but shiver. A smirk graced his face while he walked to his bike. “Let's get you home before you freeze to death.”

A sigh could only escape you, but hesitantly walked towards him, almost too willing to ride with him. “I take it you haven't rode a bike before?”

You took a sip before responding, deciding if you want to make your words clear or vague. “I don't know, I trust you’re a good driver but we’ve only known each other for two weeks.”  His eyes never leave you nor does his smirk plastered on his face. “Oh come on, you acted like you knew me for a whole year after one week, you can trust me here.” Quietly you gave in, making it over to the bike quickly due to the wind picking up just a little causing you to shiver more than you’d like. 

Finally you get to your house, you thank him and welcome him in as you head up to your room. Draping yourself in your top bed sheet cover to make you warmer faster. opening up a bag of candy, you share one to him as he sits down on your bed continuing to stare. “I haven't had company over in a long time so feel free to take control.”

JD looks over your room to get a better look at everything, noting the countless papers stacked and thrown around on your desk. The TV facing directly at the bed, movie VHS’s splayed out on the floor and the little cave under the tv space. He made the hours go by in what felt like minutes, kissing your cheek as he prepared to leave, everything down to your bones wanted him to stay but the night was dead. You only had 8 hours left until you had to get ready for the next day. You chose to bring the leftover snacks along with you into school, only having the desire to share them with JD. While there's little doubt in you, you realize he's the only one that feels like he truly cares for you, you don't even know if that's true but words speak louder than actions for now. You chilled with the feeling of getting antsy, it was 3rd period and JD was still a no-show, you guessed he shared classes with you later on in the day. 4th period came and you decided to ditch, not entertaining the idea of your history class for today. Thankfully you learned how to sneak by without getting noticed and it was useful for more than eating snacks when you weren't supposed to. The library was your makeshift safe space and it was the best spot you get away with ditching everytime the history classroom got too suffocating for you. The last history partner assigned to you, grabbed your wrist way too hard, almost spraining it. That happened Tuesday and you just didn't feel like getting a repeated offense, the bruise was hideable but sometimes forgettable as you’d be too focused on other things. Too bad the cuffs of your shirt couldn't hide it without falling down when you were reading something. “Was class too boring this time around?”

Your body jumped up in surprise, your hold on the book almost faltering, looking up quickly at the familiar sudden voice. “How did you know I was here?”

It was the only words you could come up with, not expecting anyone to call a nobody out for skipping class that wasn't a teacher. “Well where else do you go that isn't the bathroom to get away in this place?”

JD’s voice spoke up with playful teasing as he sat next to you, looking over, first at your face, then second at your hand with the book almost falling out of your grasp. You notice the tension filling in quick, brushing it off as the rush cooling off, while your nerves stutter to properly calm down. Shaking your head you offer up some of the candy bites still within your coats pocket, to which he takes without issue and a grin. “So, uh, what happened to your wrist there?” 

Your eyes stare up at JD before quickly looking down at the floor. “Oh, nothing major just.. Wasn't being careful”

“No, what's the real reason?” 

Being well aware trying to get out of telling him the real reason would be futile, you muttered the real reason, “A jackass just grabbed my wrist too hard, it still hurts but I won't die.”

Silence laced between you two, shifting on your seat to attempt to make yourself comfortable while refusing to meet JD’s eyes. Your hand rested on your cheek to hold your head while JD sighed and got a little closer to you, scooting his chair with little sound. “I’ll make them pay, don't you worry darling.”

“I don't know JD, it wasn't on purpose, it's fine.”

You were trying to argue your way out of this and not start a confrontation. JD got up and offered his hand for you to get up. “Come on, let's go get a slushie.”

-

Skipping the rest of the school day was not a usual thing for you to do, you only committed the tiny crime of one class period of skipping. A stubborn feeling of nervousness rested within your stomach, refusing to go down unlike the drink in your hand. You were in your room, chin resting upon your arm staring off to who knows where while JD made simple sweet talk to keep you from completely ignoring him. JD was moving papers along your desk, looking at them carefully while his eyebrows were scrunched up in focus. Finally he spilled out the name of the exact classmate who injured your wrist by “mistake”. Your eyes trailed up to his face, a sigh left you but you continued to stare until you got the words in your head, “why are you taking this so seriously? Going through my past schoolwork to find a guy who I'll probably never meet again?”

JD gave out a snicker in response, “I'm only going to confront him, that ugly paint on your wrist wasn't there Monday but it definitely showed up this week.”

You didn't have the property energy to convince him otherwise nor did you feel you had a proper explanation as to why he shouldn't. Deciding to humor him you didn't say a single word after.

The smell of gore in your nostrils was not what you wanted on a sunday evening, nor the smoke of a recently shot bullet. Both smells combined making your brain short circuit and your legs feel crumbly. The guy whose crime was grabbing you too hard by accident was splayed across the open field next to a lake, the only sound you could trust in was your stunned breaths along with the birds up above flapping wings in fear. JD stood there, putting his gun away along with haphazardly placing the note he crafted next to the expiring corpse that lay in front of the both of you. Your eyes couldn't help but look everywhere, not knowing what to do, your knees hit the turf below hard enough to scrape. JD lit a cigarette and walked over to you helping you up and guiding you away from the murder he made you watch at his everything but clean hands. His smile was clear, giddy with excitement while you guys made it back along his ever knowing bike parked away. 

The candy in your throat felt like all of it was ash as JD rocked you back and forth in your bed, whispering every prayer dedicated to you under the sun. ending it off with a big hug before looking at you, forcefully grabbing your chin to make you look up at  him.

“What did I tell you darling? Our love is god.”

[storiesofsvu]

Do you like Cragen as the sergeant better or Olivia?

That's kind of a tough one.. but here are my thoughts.

To preface: some of my opinions are PURELY based on the fact that we have sat and watched Olivia's career for 25 years. We've seen her as the rookie detective and make her way up. We've ONLY seen Cragen as the captain, so we don't know his history like we do LIv's.

Cragen was a *fantastic* captain IMO. He was the "dad" that the squad needed. He was relatively neutral when it came to conflict situations, knowing that cases needed to be solved/investigations run smoothly, efficient, and LEGALLY.

He always helped his team *and* helped the ADA. Alex was the daughter he never had, you can't tell me otherwise. He keeps gin(maybe vodka?) in his office and only ever offers it to her. THE MAN IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. so that alone says a lot. When Zapata comes after her, he signs his old revolver over to her and makes sure she knows how to use it. He wasn't as close with Casey, but in moments where her emotions were starting to show, he was the one to go comfort her/urge her back to the case.

He had a fantastic relationship with *all* of his detectives/squad and knew how to toe the fine line between personal relationships and being their boss.

Now, onto Olivia. It's been very different watching her grow. I can't fully remember when she moved up the ranks...she became the sarge around s15? maybe 16? she HAD to be liue by 17 cause thats when dodds shows up.

I think she's a decent commanding officer. But she has plenty of flaws when it comes to holding that title. And now, Cragen likely went through some similar struggles as he grew into the role, managing is hard (i would know..).

1st: she holds personal grudges and relationships above specific things. She's also rather rude and unwelcoming to a LOT of new people. That can trace back to her abandonment issues and Elliot leaving, she's a straight up cunt to amanda in s13 and pretty rude to nick at first (she also does nothing but fight with casey and alex in their later seasons.. seriously).

She ALWAYS has issues with the lawyers, as captain she should be smoothing out those bickering moments between her squad at the ada, but instead she's the one instigating and HOLDING that grudge with a stick up her ass. She hates most lawyers until/unless they're doing exactly what she wants. Like, it DOESNT matter if the lawyer is literally doing their job, or prosecuting a case in what should be the right manner, she still takes it out on them and she makes a VERY low blow a lot of the time. She takes EVERYTHING personal when it comes to them doing their job, she doesn't see eye to eye with them and she *refuses* to hear them out or even try to THINK about it from their perspective.

2nd: she doesnt treat her team equally or fairly imo. I know equality comes with proving your worth so like, teasing carisi when he first shows up is one thing, but shouldn't you want people to feel WELCOME in the place that you're in charge of?

similarly, she holds so many people on her team accountable for shit that she either did (and got ZERO repercussions for) in the past, or things like DEMANDING muncy go buy a blazer and smarten up her wardrobe meanwhile velasco's sitting there using an undone wrinkled button up as his blazer?? she's generally not very nice to her at all. not to mention OLIVIA was the one who poached muncy?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

okay that got away from me and in no way was this meant to turn into an Olivia Benson hate post because I DO like her, but it appears like her better as a detective? LOL.

i think she is fantastic with victims, with helping them, supporting them and making sure they get the closure and such that they need.

I also honestly like 1.0 Liv WAY better. 2.0 we got some good moments and banter and bestie relationship with Barba (we also got a LOT of fighting and not seeing eye to eye) but that was about it. Between the shitty writing, performance lacking and constant switch up of the team in like... s18-22... it just didn't end up working out well for her.

I DO think she's a good leader, but i think she has a lot of progress she could make. Take a look at Ayanna over at OC, or Kate over on OG (ugh i miss her already). you have to understand the politics of the job to be in that position and i just don't think she fully gets that? i dunno.

NOW IM RAMBLING AND ITS 4 AM AND IM SURE IM GONNA GET HATE FOR THIS LOL

hope it was worth it anon LOL

<3

[dapperrokyuu]

Youll show concern for some people and say you hope they get better, and then theyll start telling you about how they "dont get" abortion.

Had some weird interactions today, but it is what it is, lol.

[matrixwhore]

This may be my personal reading but I think Claudia very deliberately riled up Lestat in that chess scene so she could expose everything to Louis and get him to leave with her. I never saw Claudia for one second believing anything Lestat promised, but she likely went along with letting Lestat back in cause she knew that Louis needed to be shown without a doubt that Lestat was full of shit before he would actually agree to leave. Cause in that first chess scene its not like Lestat is saying anything provocative or aggressive towards anyone, for all we know, he's playing his part really well yet she pokes at him with very sensitive jabs (Nicki) to get him to expose himself, which he does and that helps to push Louis closer to leaving. She knows at this point Lestat isn't thinking about her much more than as a means to keep Louis so she turns that against him as now she becomes the means to get Louis away from Lestat.

I always wondered why in those 6 years did she not leave NOLA? We see that Louis is physically perfectly fine by year 3. She must've known with the non-stop gifts from Lestat it was only a matter of time before Louis was worn down.

im gonna push back on this hard. i want you to know that i’m not like mad or angry or shutting you down. im just VERY passionate about children especially black children.

before i get into it we do not see a louis who is perfectly fine ever. there is not a single episode when louis is in anyway stable. this is a assertion that does not take into account the beast of PTSD. that shit showed up with flashbacks in Dubai. He was not okay. and Claudia knew that.

also before i get to whats really driving me to push back. we are disagreeing in Lestat playing his part well. Louis is in love and bonded (the real actual definition of trauma bonded, not like how its been wildly misinterpreted) to lestat. He is not going along with this because Lestat is playing his part well. He is manipulating Louis. He is trying to manipulate Claudia. Lestat is the one who broke their relationship it does not matter that he’s not being provocative or aggressive in this scene. the last ten or so minutes ep 5 is enough of a reason for her to NEVER trust him again. What does it say that ANYONE should expect her to over look that alone and play nice because in this moment he’s not doing anything that is a take i cannot and will not agree with.

but ep 5 is not a stand alone. he been provocative and aggressive from the beginning.

but im gonna have to push back on something that has been bothering me. Claudia is not without emotion. and she is not without feeling. in fact locked up at fourteen she is MADE UP of emotion and feeling. she is NOT just a plotting monster. i thought i challenged this take enough in my rewatch but imma have to get into it more. maybe she doesnt feel the ramifications of her actions. maybe she isnt burdened by guilt bc of her age. maybe shes more ruthless bc of her age. why should i not attribute emotion to that. this is where i think ppl like to refuse the full breath of children’s humanity. kids seek nurture and care. they’ll do anything for it. they don’t have an full understanding of everything. but they are not these unfeeling cold monsters that just go about being destructive and not caring. a friend of mine told me onetime he took i think it was a jelly fish or something from the sea and put it in the bathwater bc he wanted to keep it. he didnt understand that would kill it. when it died he was so fucking anguished he cried for the rest of the day especially when his parents told him it happened bc he put it in the bath. that it belongs in the sea.

he didnt do that bc children are cruel monsters. he did that because he didnt understand the variety of life and the particular needs of that animal. but he is full of emotion. it was love that made him pick up that animal. it was love that made him want to keep it. it was love that crushed him when he found out what he had done.

now. i see to much that y’all wanna only allow the monster piece in claudia and it drives me up the wall. and her childhood is often used agaisnt her. shes more of a monster bc she didnt get to live a full life she let go of her humanity bc she didnt have all the years of humanity loustat did. except she had 14 years of humanity. in 14 years she lived a life. and i refuse to take that away from her. she is angry!! she is angry and sad and lonely and frustrated and isolated and alienated and reaching for connection and she is time and again denied her personhood. That is the humanity in her. she also fed the fuck up!!! and how she chooses to go about getting her ass out of there does not take away her humanity.

she is also curious. she also is loving and wants love in return. she is also nurturing and wants to be nurtured back. she is also gentle and wants gentleness back. ALL of this drives her ruthlessness for fighting back. her ruthlessness for killing. her ruthlessness for surviving. and her ruthless for doing what needs to be done to get out.

she also dragged louis out to algiers bc she loves him. bc it hurts her to see him. why do you think they included that little walk where they were talking about Emily Dickinson? they were happy. they weren’t perfectly fine. but they were happy. they were relaxed. they were at peace. they were each others. they werent constantly under the threat of abuse and mistreatment and fear. Louis traded that for his relationship with Lestat. I can understand why he did that and also stand with her on her anger about that. that fucking HHURTS! it hurts children when the abuser comes back home. it hurts them. she was hurt. so no i dont agree that she just did that to plot against them. hating and loving are often times not mutually exclusive. sometimes you hate because you love. and eventually with enough signs it wont get better hate can eclipse love. but thats where it was born. at least thats what i see was elevated in their relationship with the amcverse.

[des-thefox]

might as well use my blog to be productive so

a silly nier theory(?) (more just me yapping) (mostly replicant focused)

ALSO THIS CONTAINS MAAAJOORRRRR SPOILERS FOR NIER REPLICANT AND AUTOMATA AND DRAKENGARD 1 PROBABLY DRAKENGARD 3!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

thinking about the never ending cycle of life and death.

not just how 2B had to kill 9S over and over and over again FOURTY EIGHT TIMES.

but with the scope of the entire world.

the nier and drakengard universes are doomed to repeat themselves OVER. and OVER. and OVER again.

every single time, a strange structure named cathedral city appears out of nowhere, dragons begin to roam the lands, creatures unlike the world has ever seen before.

every single time caim while fighting the watcher ends up transported into a different world, japan 2003, as he, the watcher, and the red dragon all die.

every single time the maso inside of the foreign entities begin to spread a disease known as white chlorination syndrome.

every single time replicant nier will embark on a journey to save yonah, whether she is his sister or his daughter

every single time humanity will all die out, leaving androids to roam the planet

every single time aliens will invade and create machines with one purpose, "destroy the enemy"

every single time every android will fall, YoRHa will be destroyed.

every single time, the machine lifeforms with their fascination with human life will attempt to recreate cathedral city, maso, and dragons, and end up sending it back into the drakengard universe as it all begins again

with this all put into perspective, ive been thinking about the differences with every "loop"

we all know that replicant and gestalt are both canon, just different loops. but what else could there be?

the other night i was reading an interview with the main minds behind nier, in which its stated that originally there would be a scene depicting nier (brother) and yonah getting into an arguement that ends with nier shouting that he wishes she wasnt around so he wouldnt have to deal with her illnesses.

while it was cut from the final version, what if in one loop it actually happened?

what if in one loop, a young nier, bitter and angered by the death of his parents, felt like it was a burden to take care of his sister?

he doesnt want to lose her, but hes given up so MUCH for her that its beginning to eat away at his subconscious

and one day he lashes out, wishing to never see her again with some semblance of hope that maybe if she was dead he would be able to live for himself

of course, hed feel bad afterwards. hes still the same nier, caring, selfless, ignorant. hed apologize, remembering that yonah really is all he has left, and he doesnt wanna be alone.

everything would continue as normal, until yet another loop occurs

what if in one loop, upon entering shadowlords castle, learning the truth about project gestalt and project replicant, nier actually STOPS TO THINK(😭)

he realizes that what hes doing will cause the end of humanity, but he presses on anyways. its too far to back out now.

he sees yonah, gestalt yonah in his own sisters body. he sees how happy she is to see her brother, the shadowlord, gestalt nier, himself.

that doesnt matter, thats HIS sister.

he fights the shadowlord, knocks him down, but right as he is about to execute him, cut his head clean off of his shoulders, he stops.

in his moment of hesitation, he decides to spare him. leave him alive.

nier knows what its like to care about your sister, to sacrifice anything to see her live another day. he knows what its like to lose his father, and his mother not soon after. he knows what its like to have to provide for two people being only a teenager. he knows of the suffering the shadowlord had to go through, waiting a thousand years just for his sister.

so he spares him. he saved yonah, after all. he doesnt need to kill the shadowlord, too.

what if project gestalt doesnt fail due to one vengeful brother?

humanity is saved, all gestalts are placed in their respective replicant bodies. the human race lives on.

YoRHa is never created, the devola and popola androids are no longer necessary.

but the cycle continues anyways.

the aliens will still invade, the machine lifeforms will fight against humanity, fight against thousands upon thousands of emil clones.

the machine lifeforms, with their fascination of humanity, will rebuild cathedral city, recreate maso, and dragons, and send it back to the past.

and it all repeats again.

"we are perpetually trapped in a never ending cycle of life and death."

and no matter what changes, it all ends the same.

[grox]

Honestly I cleaned all the shit up off my floor and I am palpably less suicidal so whatever. Literally big whoop. Its fucked up that we will all go crazy with age and that we are run by the crazy because nobody can escape it. That the insanity pervades every inch of life, human animal and plant. Like let's be real, we're literally all on a timer. For just, world shattering grief. And once you realize it, you feel like you're living thousands at once. Every little moment in time where you still have most your loved ones, most your friends, your family, a pet, a neighbor, every single micro instance you are getting closer to losing them. So you go crazy. You feel like youre losing everything pre-emptively. A little bit of a test drive. Of course you'll never truly know how it feels until it happens. We are all damned to this, everything that creates life may do so then die. Or not, who gives a shit. & I feel like I'm the only person I know whos been this deeply rocked by this news. Like. Uhm, why is nobody talking about this. This is something that forces its way to the front of my mind every chance it gets. I miss when I was free from it. I literally want it to stop so bad I've considered killing myself so I can stop thinking about it. But thats an idiotic move. I hate grief. I dont want to make more of it. Not to my friends, not to my mommy. I wish I could just grab a stranger off the street and give them whatever the fuck I got in my head so it leaves me alone. Maybe slip it in their pocket like a stone. I feel fucking insane the way I genuinely feel like I can't enjoy anything because I know it too will die. Like isnt it a bit fucked. And this knowlege, the fact that everything is temporary is supposed to like, increase the value of the like, literal miracle of life and shit. And believe me, it does. Now that I've repaired my relationship to my mother I realize now how fragile her life is. I take her to dinner more often, buy her flowers more often, help her more, hang out with her more. I am creating memories for myself, and for her. I just want her to be happy. I know for a fact that if I killed myself she would follow. I love her so fucking much. I don't want her to suffer any more than I've already made her. Lets be frank, I fucking suck. For so much of my life I felt like I was put on this earth just to curse her. She went through hell to have me, and I fucking hated her. For no reason. I grew up thinking she would kill me, I made her cry and shit. And we're cool now. I want her last years to be happy. But after that? What then? She had to deal with her mothers death. But she's like 50. What of me? When I lose her young? I could kill myself after she dies, and I will really really really want to, but that's literlly stupid. Its stupid. What animal in nature kills itself because mommy died. We just, we all have to deal with it eventually, we all have to move on. If anything I could shit out a kid in my late 20s so it can also go through with what every single thing on earth from the first fucking sunbeam to touch the dead rocks had to deal with. The kid can go crazy just like me. Like literally every conscious thing & it literally doesnt matter. I can't tell this shit to a therapist cause I'm afraid she'll hit the silent alarm on me and they'll make the ending of i have no mouth and I must scream happen to me

[noeggets]

So in theory I wanted to make my own jellyfish sonic oc (im actually doing that with the phantom jelly fish idea) how would you recommend incorporating the jellyfish parts in its design?

See so what I do is two different things

Either I look at the animal I'm making a try to imagine what it would look like as a sonic person by taking the image and putting it in my preferred art program and draw a base body for a sonic character

Every jellyfish sonic person is gonna have a bell, that large head lamp thing, so you can only come up with so many creative ways to make to make it unique but in the phantom jellyfish case me personally I would leave it a solid color or put the faded like pink brain thing in it so it looks semi transparent cause you dont have many colors to work with alone but if your using crazy colors say i make the phantom jelly purple i would make the brain teal

I try to stay true to the animal and if it doesnt have spots or stripes I try not to give it any but if you want to you can that's just me

My second method is learn from others, if you search pinterest or tumblr or deviantart or Google for that matter and put " 'preferred animal' sonic oc" you can see how somebody else would do it and work with how they interpreted it into a sonic person form and cheat off that to make your own

it's not stealing it's what you do with that design choice cause if that was the cause Shadow's quills are sonic's but bent different ways as long as your not like taking a whole design there are 0 problems with doing this

another thing that helps is if you have a character and a element you don't need much else cause that brings you a color too

like Water, you have your jellyfish, that could be cool but let me make it cooler maybe the tentacles are made of water and they could attack with them like many whips that would be cool maybe they are always walking on them like Kit tsunami

You can use actual canon characters that aren't the same species to get a general idea on what your about to do when creating a animal that hasn't been used in the sonic world

Like we have only seen one jellyfish sonic person and its Opal from the archie comics but you know what we have seen to go along with that? Sharks,Dolphins,fish,otter,octopus some animals are like in the same category as others

these may not be the same animals but they are all ocean creatures and you can gather from every design choice that having a sonic sea creature oc they do not have noses like the rest of the cast (I would even argue Charmy shouldn't have a nose because he is a bug but thats up in the air for whoever is drawing him to decide)

Another way I dont do often is try turning a existing sonic character into the animal you desire, I have a sketch book where I turned all the hedgehogs into different kinds of dogs it was a fun experiment

i'd say Hedgehogs Tenrecs and Meerkats are almost in the same slot because Hedgehogs have quills but meerkats do not, but you can give them almost the same ear types like Sonic's or like Surge or Gold you could even do it like Surge except more pointed and tiny

for the Meerkat i would go round like monkey khan from the archie comics like how i did knuckles there

i hope some of this nonsense actually helps you cause this is actually how i do it

[mutiara-05]

A new heavy morning arrived again our guy has survived left his room with a smiley mask wearing is his daily task worried eyes he couldnt hide scared no matter who he's beside begging god to prove him wrong fade his fear like a beat of a song but the sky doors were shut it was real, the feeling in his gut slow steps, head down, heavy chest ready to give up not just take a rest went back to his room and closed the door dropped his bag and sat next to it on the floor when he tried to take the water bottle out the blue cutter shined bringing him doubt not once he looked at it but rather twice heard it saying "I write very nice try me now, on skin not paper give it a go I might be your savior" a loud sound distracted the boy hypnotized, moving like a stringed toy eyelids in love missing eachother maybe now their hug will last forever bare figure laying on the cold ground tired? or did he follow the sound? hours passed as he's laying down not moving, covered by the death gown sunrey creeped into the kid room fell on his wet cheeks hoping they'd bloom lightheaded, he woke in a red rose many small ones, like wine drops that blue friend was in the corner said "morning you pathetic loner" mischievous smile that speaks hate turns he's the keeper oh hells gate

the boy soul went down leaving a lifeless body behind facing this world with no pause option nor rewind his mask fell, he's broken and not so alive fake was the smile that made others think he'd survive used to show with fresh perfume and elegant style to impress now got a yellow face and dark under his eyes, clearly restless lower marks and slower moves cause no energy is left in him used to light up parties so no one knew how his mind is dim took off his red jacket cause he got red all over his skin switched to black with long sleeves to cover up his sin something is wrong and its alerting that everybody can tell "he used to run he used to fly, how come all of sudden he fell?" "remove your sunglasses, cap and dont forget the heavy scarf" but he's the one to grow smeraldo so these requests are rough someone got him a new water bottle so he leave his bag pocket that one doesnt know about the blue friend so why'd they get it? another one who knows tried to wipe all the red off of his desk but he already crossed a line and doesnt need a hint to take a risk some people used to tell him that he's not a human but an angel guess life really wanted to show him things from its every angle was kicked out of paradise so he came down to the earth six thousands and one hundred forty days after his birth he got so fed up and decided to just take his life away left a note to the stars "sorry I cant take another day"

hey little lost boy where is your blue flower? wasnt it the only source of your pathetic power? thinking you're brave going without it another hour? then crawl alone when your energy gets lower he left his phone a couple meters after the door and dropped his back in a corner on second floor on the third he lost his mind and went for more stood at the edge ready to fall from level four thought he would cry but no tears came out "if I don't fall now then I'll blindly cross the route" then stopped and wondered what is it all about took a breath while stepping back filled by doubt went back to the first floor and grabbed his phone up to the second to take the bag and leave alone saw another one beside his which froze his bone felt a shadow behind so he had to control his tone bright smile with a "don't overthink, we're fine" at ten became "bad" what was a "good" at nine he said and said "I got you this, it looks like mine" a door opened and both left like they got a sign

[the-lightless-flame]

ok i promised @bornetoblood so here is the web!agnes headcanon

this takes a bit of explaination so ill go into how it would work and then ill talk about why i like it

(also obviously this is just based on my interpretation of agnes and her story, if u have a different interpretation of her thats fine!! i just love my funny messiah woman and want to see her happy)

this became very long so the essay is under the cut

ANYWAy so the 'how':

jonny said in the season 4 q+a that one could probably sever their connection with the desolation via a completely selfless sacrifice.

agnes' suicide probably fits this description; the in-canon explanation (from what agnes told arthur) is so that the lightless flame could eventually try the scorched earth again with another messiah.

i dont fully believe what arthur said, and its definitely possible that she was just telling him what he wanted to hear. in that case, her making the decision to once and for all stop herself from being able to bring about the scorched earth probably counts as a selfless act as well, cause even if the scorched earth was never actually going to work, she didnt know that.

the first option doeshave a certain irony to it imo, but it doesnt really fit with how i see her at this point, as i think at this point shes not that loyal to the lightless flame (see: jack barnabus). it doesnt really matter to the headcanon tho, all that matters is that agnes committed a selfless act.

doing this disconnected her from the lightless flame, but in doing so she could have potentially connected to another entity.

all that's really required for becoming an avatar is choice, but physical and metaphysical death is encouraged; agnes is experiencing both (physical is obvious, and metaphysical as the death of her as messiah of the desolation).

imo the web is the obvious choice. she already has a connection with it through gertrude and hilltop road, and a lot of agnes' story is about the ways the lightless flame controlled and groomed her, as well as how her final weeks were when she finally managed to get some kind of control over her life (even if that control is her own death). basically, since control is a big theme in agnes' story, and taking control is the prominent feeling that led to her death, i dont think creating a connection to the embodiment of control is such a reach.

so agnes goes through something similar to jon's coma. maybe the lightless flame thinks shes dead, maybe they realise she isnt connected to the desolation anymore and leave her alone.

from there, agnes just does whatever. probably tries not to do anything too notable. she burns emma harvey's house with gertrude obviously, and she does need to feed her power but i dont think she'd do anything thatd get in a statement.

ok so thats how i think it could happen. now why i like it:

first, i dont really like agnes having died. it works fine as an ending to her story as a part of the show at large i guess, and it doesnt really matter to me in that sense. but for her as a character, i think her ending just makes her generic tragic character and thats not really my kind of thing. idk, like i said im not mad about it being her ending or anything, theres definitely a lot to be said for how her living under the lightless flame couldve led to that decision, but its not really what i want for her.

there is also how it relates to the queer reading of her story, but i talked about that earlier.

also i want her to be happy. leave me alone.

second, i really like the idea of agnes having a semi-normal life. she still has web stuff, but its mostly just subtle stuff (we know there are a lot of spooks that arent reported to the institute, and i think what she does is probably that). gertrude tracks her down at some point to help killing emma harvey, but that it.

the web probably doesnt need her to do anything major, cause thats what annabelle's for and shes only a few years away from being an avatar.

in the eyepocalypse she probably tries not to make things too bad for people in her domain, as much as thats a thing she can actually do.

third, iirc it means that every web avatar thats dead was killed by another web avatar. and i think thats fun. obviously she wouldnt have been a web avatar for raymond, but she probably wouldve been marked and thats enough for me.

i like the imagery of the web keeping people only until theyve become obsolete, i imagine it probably wouldnt want to keep people around once theyve done what it needed them to do. also spider imagery.

fourth, agnes did not get NEARLY enough opportunity to be gay. like she probably fucked jude for at least a while but there is. no way that relationship was healthy. (i could talk a lot more about that but this is already too long)

idk who with. i like gertrudeagnes conceptually but i also like them only having met once. they probably did fuck tho.

i saw a fic earlier that shipped her and annabelle and i havent read it yet but that sounds fun.

idk maybe she just finds a normal, non-aligned girlfriend. thats probably the best option. anyway let her be gay

ok thats it the essay is done. i probably forgot stuff but ill just talk about it later. again this is just my headcanon, u might interpret her different to me and thats fine! the whole point of her story is we dont know that much about what shes really like so theres a lot thats just up to personal opinion.

if for some ungodly reason u read all of this then why??? (i just checked its at like a thousand words wtf) but also tysm i probably wont have children but if i do u are now entitled to my firstborn.

this is too long im going to stop talking now bye