#I say Im thankful for all the women in the world and mothers since I agree that we wouldnt be there without them and then he hits me with

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀

[norrisainz33]

Secrets || CL16 & LH44

☆ summary: y/n hamilton is headed to the olympics and her secret boyfriend (her brothers future teammate) ends up confirming their relationship at the olympics

☆ pairing: charles leclerc x hamilton!reader

☆ fc & warnings: georgia-mae fenton & none

☆ requested: yes! thanks for the olympic gymnast idea 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynhamilton has made a post

liked by lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco, georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, charlesleclerc, and 645,238 others

ynhamilton: quick someone tell mini me that she’s going to the olympics 🤭

view all 876 comments

user1: AHHHHHH OMG!!! CONGRATS

roscoelovescoco: prouds of you aunties

ynhamilton: thank you my sweet sweet little baby

user2: the hamiltons are going to take over the world just wait

fernandoalo_oficial: show them how it’s done mi princesa

ynhamilton: will do my best nando 🤍

user3: beautiful , perfect , flawless

lewishamilton: that’s my girl! i can’t wait to see you shine

ynhamilton: love you big bro 🤍

user4: the best sibling duo in existence

user5: y’all see charles hiding in the likes 🫣

user6: y/n prolly giggling and kicking her feet rn

user7: girl says she has a crush on a certain ferrari driver one time and you guys won’t let her live it down 😭

user6: user7 don’t forget that one time they were caught hanging out

user7: user6 she was in the paddock for her brothers race!!

user6: idk the way he was looking at her was anything but casual user7

ynhamilton has posted to her story

view all story replies

user5: YOU MADE IT

user7: style icon y/n is in the building

lewishamilton: 💪🏻 win us a medal sis

ynhamilton: win me a race brother! also give roscoe a kiss for me please - i already miss him :(

lewishamilton: he misses you too

user8: the olympics should be thanking you for participating fr

charlesleclerc: good luck mon amour ❤️

ynhamilton: thank you charlie! i wish you could be here

charlesleclerc: i know darling im sorry i cant be!

user9: brb buying this exact set as we speak

user10: mother has landed

roscoelovescoco has made a post

liked by ynhamilton, lewishamilton, charlesleclerc, landonorris, teamgb, simonebiles, mercedesamgf1, and 436,125 others

roscoelovescoco: we loves aunties y/n! watching froms homes but still so prouds 🇬🇧 p.s my new friend leos watches withs us

view all 345 comments

user11: roscoe’s insta will always be one of my favorite things on the internet

user12: roscoe supporting his favorite auntie is the sweetest

lewishamilton: roscoe would be there if he could! good luck today, y/n/n 🫶🏻🇬🇧

ynhamilton: big big love to you both 🤍

user22: look at grandpa using his emojis

ynhamilton: i love you with my whole heart roscoe

roscoelovescoco: roscoe loves y/ns

user13: hold on is he talking abt leo leclerc

user6: are charles and lewis watching y/n??? together?????? no way

user9: is roscoe hard launching y/ncharles

charlesleclerc: leo is wishing y/n all the best today ❤️

ynhamilton: thank you little leo ❤️

user6: guys i swear they are together

user7: user6 im gonna hold ur hand when i say this

texts between you and charles

ynhamilton has made a post

liked by teamgb, charlesleclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, lewishamilton, patriciooward, and 762,194 others

ynhamilton: i’m headed to the finals! oh what a surreal feeling this is. being an olympian was and always has been a dream of mine since i was a little girl so to step on this mat and to make it this far is the blessing of a life time ✨

view all 887 comments

user12: CONGRATS GORGEOUS

user87: hamilton hamilton hamilton

fernandoalo_oficial: proud is an understatement

ynhamilton: 🤍

lewishamilton: you’re a star

ynhamilton: that’s you mr champion

user13: how does she make everything she does look so beautiful

user14: i love seeing women succeed

charlesleclerc: truly incredible performance

ynhamilton: 🥹 thank you charlie

user6: he’s here

roscoelovescoco: yess yous are the bests in the worlds

teamgb: that’s our girl! making us proud out there y/n 🇬🇧🤍

charlesleclerc has posted on his story

view story replies

user98: and where are we headed mr leclerc? paris perhaps?

ynhamilton: holy moly you look incredible 🤤

charlesleclerc: merci mon coeur ❤️

user65: why you looking at me like that

fernandoalo_oficial: you better bring our girl some luck !

charlesleclerc: working on it 💪🏻

lewishamilton: see you soon mate

user23: ARE YOU GOING TO PARIS YES OR NO

user34: ohhhh you look scrumptious

user44: i already miss seeing your car go round in circles

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user5, user6, yourbff, user8, user7 and 154,354 others

f1gossip: Lewis Hamilton pictured attending the Olympic gymnastics finals to support his sister y/n! the surprise of the evening is that Charles Leclerc is also in attendance and sitting with Lewis and y/n’s friends. there’s been quite a few rumblings that y/n and Charles are a couple - is this confirmation?

view all 304 comments

user44: lewis ages like fine wine istg

user16: CHARLES LECLERC AT THE OLYMPICS?! that twitter user was right

user6: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEWWWWW IT!! Y/NCHARLES FOR LIFE

user8: maybe they’re just bonding before next season

user65: forza ferrari!!!

user10: odd place to choose for a bonding event

user21: idk if i even want mother with that man

user17: out of all the drivers he’s not a bad choice

user18: the english and monegasque royal family’s coming together ,, it’s so beautiful

ynhamilton has made a post

liked by lewishamilton, scuderiaferrari, patriciooward, charlesleclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, nicorosberg, yourbff, and 456,321 others

ynhamilton: regardless of the outcome i’m proud of me, i’m proud of my teammates and i’m proud to represent team gb. obviously a medal would have been nice but when you have competition like THE simone biles just being here is a win. thank you to lewie, yourbff1, charles and yourbff2 for making the trip to paris to cheer me on 🤍🇬🇧

view all 546 comments

user28: you’re still a medalist in my book

yourbff1: my bestie is that girl ✨

user29: the hamilton genes are insane

yourbff2: you are the most incredible, talented, amazing, perfect, gorgeous, slay, demure woman in the whole world

lewishamilton: proud big brother moment! was such an amazing experience to get to cheer you on and experience the atmosphere. i love you sissy ❤️

ynhamilton: wouldn’t be here without the support from the best big brother in the world 🤍

user37: that leo is gorgeous

simonebiles: you have so much to be proud of! great job out there y/n 🤍

ynhamilton: you have no idea how much that means to me!! thank you simone 🥹

charlesleclerc: i think red is your color 😉

charlesleclerc: but for real, félicitations ma belle

ynhamilton: i think it might be my color too 😏

user6: omgomgomgomgokgogm

nicorosberg: congratulations to my favorite hamilton

ynhamilton: thank you nico 🤭

user33: HAHAH NICO BFFR

georgerussell63: you made us proud y/n/n!!

ynhamilton: georgie!!!! i 🤍 u

charlesleclerc has made a post

liked ynhamilton, scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, yourbff, teamgb, roscoelovescoco and 876,213 others

charlesleclerc: was lucky enough to take the prettiest girl in all of paris out last night ❤️

view all 876 comments

user19: if charles had to be taken off the market im at least glad it’s y/n

roscoelovescoco: yous betters be goods to my favorites aunties or i’ll bites you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

charlesleclerc: don’t worry roscoe, i’ll treat her like the princess she is 🤍 (leo would also bite me, he likes her more than me so it’s ok)

ynhamilton: you’ll be the first to hear abt it if he doesn’t roscoe 😘

user13: get him roscoe!

user56: the way their outfits match ,, please

ynhamilton: the best date ever 🤍

charlesleclerc: je t'aime mon olympien [i love you my olympian]

user18: the hard launch to end all hard launches

maxverstappen1: oh thank god. now we can finally play padel not in secret

ynhamilton: is that all you care about max

maxverstappen1: ….. no

user6: i hope you know i’ve been ride or die for you two for months now

ynhamilton: i know girly

user6: ok wow idk how to act uhhh hi y/n 😭😭😭

user34: i mean look at them im sick. i cant wait for lewis and y/n to be at ferrari next season

user87: the girlfriend effect already taking hold i see ,, that is a fine suit charles

scuderiaferrari: we’re glad red suits her so well 😉

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated! still making my way through my requests, thank you for being patient with me :)

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[experimentfae]

I just thought this would be funny or something, but could you do Carmilla Carmine x Female!Reader who just happens to be Velvette’s mom??

Basically she’s a more kinder and sweeter version of Velvette, but she’s also the kind of woman you don’t want to get on her bad side. She also happens to be a somewhat powerful overlord as well.

Also imagine this scene but with Carmilla and Velvette.

That’s hilarious I have to write this

Carmilla Carmine x Velvette’s mom! Reader

Oneshot / fluff /suggestive(lime?)

As you gazed upon the V tower you felt excited to see your daughter it’s been a while. Since you got to have mom and daughter hangout you opened the door and went to velvettes side of the tower.

You watched as two moth looking women opened the door for you “thank you.” You continued into the door seeing your daughter design her latest creation “oh vel your mother is here. You announced with a pose “mom!” She jumped into your arms “it’s been forever, what brings you here?” “Can’t a mother bring her daughter her favorite meal.” You raised up the rubber wrap you were carrying to her. She happily took It “thanks mom but im very busy with business, not to sound like a bitch but, I need you to leave.” She states whip putting the food beside her work.

Though a little disappointed you wouldn’t be spending time with her but you knew her career was extremely important to Velvette “of course Vel I understand, you better visit me I’m your mother after all.” You spoke back while heading out “I will mom, I promise.”

Now here you where back outside walking on the street heading to your next destination a weapon shop. A woman must be prepared at all times something you have learned during your stay down in hell and your time in the living world.

You have heard an overlord named Carmilla owning a weapon shop made with angelic weapons, so you had to go see it for yourself.

Thankfully you found the place and walked through the door, peering and admiring weapons, shield and even guns on the wall and ones on display. As you gazed upon the weapons hoping at least one caught your eye you heard a voice behind you “do you need any help Ms?” You turned to see what you believed to be Carmilla carmine herself.

You blushed, you couldn’t deny you found her attractive and you noticed that she did as well so you knew she felt the same. “I think I found something else I like more.” You watched as her face became pink making your smirk widen.

“Well with such alluring costumer such as yourself, I’m willing to give a discount, and maybe a date if that’s pleases you?” She asked with a smile and you smiled return “I would love that.” The you heard a voice interrupt “mom I’m just gonna be in the back.” You looked to see a blond girl in a scientist like fit gazing in carmines direction.

“Oh um of course dear.” Carmine seemed flustered to be caught by her daughter, when the girl left you turn your direction back to carmine “your mother as well?” “Yes, mother of two girls in fact, you?” “Mother of one, my girl was a handful alone back in the day.” this makes her chuckle. “So about that date what time?” You took out your phone and looked through your schedule “Friday at night works for me, is that ok?” She smiled “that’s works great.

You left the shop with a new weapon and a phone number. You guys went on many dates, of course your daughter doesn’t know who but you did tell carmine that Velvette was your daughter, because of the relationship officially being serious and now being girlfriends. you watched as she made a shocked face then it immediately turn to a smirk. Carmilla did the same saying that her daughters names are Clara and Odette, you then decided to introduce her to your daughter for dinner and carmine will bring hers as well for them to get to know you and Velvette.

“So mom who is this girlfriend of yours coming? and I need to know her so I can check her background make sure she’s not anything fishy.” You sat beside her as you just finished placing the food and plates down “no worry, my girlfriend is great I just know it, and besides she wants to introduce herself to you.

You made sure she didn’t grab the food yet until carmine and her daughters arrived, just as Velvette seemed impatient, you heard the doorbell ring.

“That must be them, and Velvette you better behave young lady I won’t stand you acting cheeky on them.” She rolled her eyes “I won’t mom.” You ignored that and walked to the door just then Carmilla and her girls walked in. “What are you doing here?!” “Can’t tell that I’m the girlfriend.” This made Velvette eyes widen and she gripped the fork she was holding.

You could tell that Velvette was pissed her glare harden as she watched Carmilla and her girls sit across from the both of you, “Velvette what did I just say.” You scolded her despite that she continued to glare especially at carmine “I’m sorry about that, ignore her let’s just get into with dinner.” “It’s quite alright (y/n), besides it’s nothing new to me.” This made you raise your eyebrow but continued on with dinner.

So you receive to ease the tension “so you two are overlords so I’m assuming you guys heard of each other.” You wanted Velvette and carmine to get along or at least be civil with each other. “Oh I know her, hey carmine aren’t you the one that objected on fighting back against angels?” Velvette mention out of the blue “what?” This made carmine roll her eyes “yes but i have good reasons for it.” “I guess two of you have meet.” Camilla brought her full attention to you instead “yes your daughter had, interesting ideas about how to deal with the exterminators.”

Then it went back to awkward silence but knowing Velvette, though you do love your daughter she usually the one of instigate things. “Well whatever happened we will be discussed after dinner, after all I didn’t slave away at dinner for nothing so eat up everyone. They all begin taking food You turned your attention to Carmilla’s daughters, how are two enjoying the food?” “It’s good Mrs.”spoke odette “Yes very delicious.” Agreed Clara. “No need for formalities dears call me (y/n).” They nodded their heads in understanding.

You all begin making conversation except Velvette who was keeping to herself, choosing to be on her phone while eating. After dinner was finished Carmilla complimented your cooking “it was delicious hun.” “Aww thank you.” You looked to see that it was dark out already “I know it wasn’t planned but it’s late and I don’t want you and your girls going out at night so you three should stay over. This made daughter fume in anger even more.

“Thank you love, I think it’s best as well, do you have pajamas for me and my daughters?” “Of course I’ll give you one of mine and for Clara and odette I’m sure Velvette has some clothes she made from her models that have the same body type as the girls.” “No way.” Interjected Velvette “no buts young lady besides it’s not a question it’s a demand.” You replied this made her eye twitch but she did it anyways.

Of spires she made sure to give them good outfits, she takes fashion very seriously. “Good thank you Velvette.” “You’re welcome.” She grumbled out, all five of you went up to the bedroom you showed the girls their rooms and Velvette went into her room for the night as well. “Good night girls sleep tight.” They all said goodnight in return.

When you weren’t looking carmine gripped velvettes shoulder and went closer to her whispering “I’m gonna go f$&k your mom.” She then walked away with a smirk towards your room without a word leaving velvette to her own shock and horror of the implication what you two will do that night.

She laid in bed in disbelief as she heard carmine and worst of all her mom’s moans in the other room she put her pillow around her head to cover her ears, hoping this nightmare of hers would be over.

<- Back to MasterList or back to Hazbin Hotel

[dapperrokyuu]

Youll show concern for some people and say you hope they get better, and then theyll start telling you about how they "dont get" abortion.

Had some weird interactions today, but it is what it is, lol.

[therealslimshakespeare]

The reason why I think of Benny and Lu’s babies being younger then the rest (except perhaps the later half of Brady’s brood) is because I think Lu has grown up at such a young age and has had to go through so much shit that was NOT age appropriate so I want everything else in her life to be the exact opposite. Like I don’t want her to immediately have kids when she marries Benny because if she turns 19 like as the war is ending? Even if they get together a few years after, she’s still young. I want them to have a year or two of them getting to be their adrenaline junkie selves and just getting to be in love. I also feel like, as healing as motherhood would be for Lu, I think she needs intellectual and adventurous stimulation as well and I want her to get that in her young years. Whereas with someone like Brady, he’s ready for kids because he dreamed of that life throughout the war, and Bucky would be ready, he just needs to find the right girl. Anyways I really don’t think Benny would do her the disservice of living out her early 20s as a mother, after she’s already gone through teenage hood in a literal war. I think he would just want more for her, unless you think that SHE would really want that. The younger girl getting with an older guy and immediately getting pregnant is also just a dynamic Im not the most fond of, but I’m sure you could change my mind if you had a counter argument. Like for example, with Julie Jean and Bucky, I love the idea of them immediately wanting babies.

Also, while I think that challenges for Lu absolutely do pop up post- partum (with feeding, that’s a HUGE thing for new mothers), I think that out of all the girls, she has the easiest pregnancies. If you didn’t know she was pregnant, you’d never guess she was. She has an annoying lack of all the common symptoms like morning sickness and swollen ankles 😅 They could probably tell people she was pregnant in the 3rd trimester and they’d think she was just a few months in 😭

Also… you read my mind about Tilly and Lu. Like read my mind. That relationship is so important to me. And I don’t know where you see Lu’s breastfeeding journey going, but one of the things that’s most special to me in the world is women who donate their breast milk for mothers who can’t produce their own milk because pasteurized donor human milk is the next best option for feeding a child. And I’m just saying that Tilly would probably be pregnant/ feeding around the same time as Lu since her and Brady have so many kids. I’m just saying. Even if Lu is able to manage after a while, the offer is just as special as the act!

These are all really interesting points, love, thanks for sharing. I do feel like the timing of things just really matters for certain characters, for sure, and with Julie it is a very different case from Lu, etc. Ida too wouldn’t be a great case of immediately having kids. Again, depends on if she wants that or not, but I love the argument of her being a “late bloomer” in plenty of ways after having such a harrowing adolescence, and throughly enjoying it. And they totes need to be adrenaline junkie newly weds for a few years, yes, yes.

Also —the milk donation? Oh my heart that’s a precious addition. Gosh y’all have the softest concepts. And also I feel like Tilly is one of those warm people who’s also so damn capable and the combo is really helpful, because she’s be over and helping a new mother figure out how to make the baby latch better, etc, and it’s the most non intrusive help ever. No one’s doing it like Tilly

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (28) - [CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

A/N: After 3 long years.... I'm finishing the conversion of this story. You have my rewatching of Supergirl to thank ;). Going back over this story i realized there are a LOT of conversion I missed/messed up so im going to go back over everything and fix it all for good. Enjoy!

[previous] | [masterlist]

“Stop peeking, everybody’s out there already. You don’t need to worry that your audience is lacking.”

Kara glanced back from the door and grinned at Alex. “Actually, I was looking at two specific members of the audience.” She pointed as subtly as possible, and Alex peered out over her shoulder.

“Who’s a good little baby?” they could hear Maggie saying as she cuddled the tiny girl to her chest. “Who’s a brave baby Maya? You are, yes, you are!”

“Hey, can I have my kid back?”

“In a minute,” Kara and Alex heard her say as she tickled the booties-clad feet of Sam and Lena’s daughter. She giggled and kicked, adorable in pink gingham, all wide brown eyes and with brown hair that Maggie had subtly shaped into a Mohawk.

Born a month early, Maya Penelope Arias had had a rough time at first, but now she was the spoiled apple of her mommies’ eyes. She had Sam’s last name, since Sam had given birth, but Lena was by law given all rights to Maya as her second mother.

“And she got to give her a weird-ass middle name,” Sam had pointed out.

“Sam, dear, you’re going to give her a complex,” Lena had said with a smile, her pinky held in the tight grip of her little girl.

“You’re so precious, you are,” Maggie cooed, looking nothing like the trouble-making, drug-addicted street rat that she had been only a few years earlier.

“Ohhh, boy,” Alex breathed softly, “I can see where this is going.” But she was smiling, and Kara nudged her, grinning.

“Yeah, you’d think she’s precious until she’s using you as a milk machine,” Sam said, but her tone was affectionate as she smoothed down Maya’s hair. “Do you have any idea how awkward it is to kneel in the corner with a baby attached to your boob?”

“She’s still amazing,” Maggie said, pretending to chew on Maya’s fingers now firmly in her mouth, then rolled her eyes at Lena as she extricated the baby’s hand and cleaned it with a wipe. “Aren’t you, monkeyface? Your mommies did a good job.”

“So did the Cryobank,” Sam said, tucking the baby into her arms as Maggie finally relinquished her. “They had a good choice of frozen swimmers.”

“Oh, hey, Brainy donates there!” Maggie exclaimed, and Kara pressed her face to her palm as Lena let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a strangled sob.

“I swear to God if he's my baby’s daddy I’m going to kill you.”

Kara snapped the door shut and shook her head, smiling at Alex and smoothing down the front of her dress where it had gotten wrinkled.

It had been six months.

Six months since Y/N had looked over at her with her heart on her sleeve, fear and longing in those deep hazel eyes that Kara realized she always wanted to be looking at her. Kara smiled, remembering what Y/N had said to her.

“I look at you and home is all I see.”

The tears had rushed to her eyes but Kara controlled herself to speak quietly, firmly.

“If I hadn’t been so interrupted,” she said, the smile still on her lips, “You would have heard me say that all I want is to be with you, in New York.” Her smile grew wider at Y/N’s gasp, and Kara reached out to pull the girl into her arms.

“My little one,” she said, kissing Y/N. “I am so proud of you, even for – especially for interrupting me.” She trailed her thumbs over Y/N’s face, wiping away the tears, and kissed her again. “I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. Everything you are and everything you’ll ever be. I love you.”

Still, she’d insisted on waiting, because as firm as Y/N was in wanting to be claimed, Kara for her part wanted to be sure.  Y/N had moved out of Nia’s and into her own small little apartment in town, though she spent more of her time at Kara’s than anywhere else. But it had been amusing for Kara, to watch as Y/N slowly blossomed into her own, decorating the apartment with her personal touches even as she would smile at Kara and cheekily say, “I don’t plan on living here long, you know.”

“I know,” Kara would say with her own soft smile, and press a kiss to Y/N’s cheek. “I know.”

She watched as Y/N grew in confidence with each passing day, going to places by herself or with friends – and that made Kara smile the most, the fact that Y/N had friends. True, they were mostly those in Kara’s own circle, with the exception of Kelly, and she was still exasperated about the fact that Sam seemed to revel in teaching Y/N to push all of Kara’s buttons. But it was good to see Y/N going out and having fun, whether it was to a restaurant or bookstore, or even one of Maggie’s clubs.

At first it made Kara worry, Y/N being out on her own, especially those nights that Y/N chose to spend at her apartment rather than Kara’s house. Those nights, Kara would sleep with her phone clutched tightly in her hand, just in case Y/N needed to call. Was she warm enough? Kara wondered. Had she eaten enough, was she getting enough rest, was her bed as soft as the one she had at Kara’s? But every morning without fail – as per the rules if Y/N wasn’t staying over – the phone would ring at 8 a.m. and Kara would answer it, smiling to hear Y/N’s gentle voice on the other end.

“I slept just fine, Miss Kara, don’t worry.”

And really, it didn’t matter if Y/N wanted to spend 5 out of the 7 nights at her own apartment, or stayed out until 2 in the morning with Maggie, or walked the mall for hours with Kelly – which she didn’t. For Kara, what mattered were the two pieces of paper held with magnets to the refrigerator door. Plain white sheets with pink and purple and green ink and littered with gold stars.

Y/N’s rules. Kara’s rules. The list they had drawn up together, the list that was growing steadily as they experimented, as they learned. Things were being added, scratched off, put into the “maybe” and “no way ever again” columns. It was a slow road, Kara was realizing, and as comfortable as she and Y/N were with each other so far, there still had been a few missteps, one safe word that had resulted in Kara spending the entire night on the couch with Y/N held, safe and sleeping, in her arms.

They hadn’t been fully intimate yet; Y/N had asked to wait until the actual night of the claiming, saying that she wanted it to be more special. But Kara could see past what Y/N said to what she couldn’t give voice to, to the undercurrent of fear and hint of darkness in Y/E/C eyes that should always be bright with happiness. It hurt her, at first, knowing that Y/N was still afraid to give herself fully to Kara, but as always, a quick chat with Lena had been enough to help Kara regain her perspective.

“You’re surprised that she’s scared?” Lena said over her shoulder as she hung yet another picture of herself and Sam on the wall. “After everything she’s been through?”

“Well, no, I just… thought I’d be different,” Kara admitted. “She says I’m not like him, but it’s as if she expects me to be like him in bed.”

“You’re being paranoid,” Lena had said, sitting next to Kara on the couch and brushing her forehead with a kiss. “You know you’re different. She knows you’re different. But this is the last… thing, the last hold he has over her. He owned every part of her, especially her body. She wants you to claim her, but she’s scared to claim that part of herself.”

“You’re too smart for your own good,” Kara had muttered, and Lena smiled.

“The act doesn’t matter,” she’d said. “As long as it’s gentle, careful, sweet. What matters is that she knows how much you love her. Concentrate more on the emotion than the physical, and you can’t go wrong.”

As for Kara, her dads had insisted on giving her enough money to get by for the six months until her relationship with Y/N was set, and the rest of their plans could be put into motion. Kara had protested, but she knew her dads still felt some measure of guilt for keeping her away from New York so long, and so Y/N had encouraged her just to take it, especially since it was too dangerous to head off to the city with no money in the bank.

They would fly out to New York for a weekend to find an apartment, then fly back and Kara’s dads would help them pack the essentials for the long drive, and ship the rest later. Kara was excited – and terrified. But a soft touch from Y/N on her cheek, and everything was fine. All her fears vanished, and Kara felt as if, with the young woman by her side, she’d already won a Tony.

“I’m that good?” Y/N had joked when Kara had said that, her tongue stuck out, and Kara had just rolled her eyes, cuddling her brat close on her lap.

“Ready?” Alex said from Kara’s shoulder, and she turned around to rest her head against her chest, the woman wrapping heris arms around her with a smile. They’d repaired their friendship after the trial; in fact now it was stronger than ever, and Kara wouldn’t have even thought twice about having Alex in the front row, along with her other family and friends.

Y/N’s parents weren’t there, which was to be expected since Y/N had steadfastly refused to invite them. Kara had asked, carefully, but Y/N was vehement to the point of tears about not wanting her parents anywhere near herself and Kara. Kelly was there, though, along with the young man Y/N had heard so much about, Mike, and Nia, who had already gone through one pack of tissues and was starting on another.

“Go on,” Alex said quietly, pushing Kara lightly towards the door that led to outside, and the little circle in front of the seats.

“Go claim your girl.”

It was a simple white sheet laid out on the grass, and a lattice arch laced with green leaves and gardenias. Just to the side of the arch was a table draped with a lace cloth, upon which rested two boxes, one smaller, one larger. The larger box held Kara’s gift to Y/N, the smaller, Y/N’s gift to Kara. They were like two children at Christmas in the days leading up to the ceremony, knowing exactly what the gifts would be but not what they would be made of.

Both of them, though, knew the meaning of what was held in those two boxes.

In between the boxes was a single sheet of paper, with two pens on top. The paper was official, with the state seal emblazoned on the upper margin, and the bottom margin held the stiff, black scrawl of the woman officiating the ceremony, Caitlin Snow.

She stood just to Kara’s left, smiling at her, waiting. Two blank lines on the paper also waited, for signatures. Pledges.

Kara took a deep breath and once again smoothed her dress. Light baby blue, and her hair was pulled up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. The day was calm, cool, and the sun had begun to set just off the horizon. It was perfect, made all the more perfect by the trembling girl who shut the door behind her and made her way to the sheet, stopping to stand in front of Kara with a nervous smile.

Kara reached out and took both Y/N’s hands in hers, squeezing them gently as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“All right, little one?” she questioned, and Y/N nodded, her cheeks flushing pink.

“I’m all right, Miss Kara.”

“You’re beautiful,” Kara said, still holding tightly to Y/N’s hands, and it was true. Y/N was wearing a (color)  dress that matched her eyes, which were sparkling as she smiled at Kara, the blush still evident on her fact. She was still trembling and Kara squeezed her hands again, taking in the way Y/N’s Y/H/C hair was twisted up in braids, loose tendrils falling around her cheeks and ears.

She was, Kara thought, the prettiest girl she’d ever seen in her life.

And in just a few short moments, Y/N would be completely hers.

“Are we ready to get started?” Ms. Snow asked, and both Kara and Y/N nodded their consent.

“Kara and Y/N,” Ms. Snow began, “have decided to keep this short and sweet, because I’m gathering they’re quite eager to start their life together and enjoy the support of their family and friends here.”

“This isn’t something to be taken lightly,” Ms. Snow continued, a note of warning to her voice that gave her a sudden formidable air in spite of her small frame. “A claim is meant to be for life, two people choosing to live their life together as Dominant and submissive, with all the care and emotion that a relationship like that means.”

Ms. Snow looked to Kara, then to Y/N in turn. “Have each of you decided to pledge yourself to the other, freely and willingly, with no pressure or force from family or friends?”

Kara waited for what felt like years, a lifetime as the days and moments flashed behind her eyes. First steps, first words, first competition at a year old. School and slushies, her dad knelt by a hospital bedside. A ticket to New York, tucked away in a scrapbook, yellowed and crumbling, unused. Work and the society, a brick building at the end of a walk.

A girl with dirty hair. Two slices of apple resting on the arm of a wheelchair.

The world was silent, still, until the wind picked up and trees rustled, and it was in the wind, this gentle wind, that Kara heard the answer that would define her life from this point forward.

Y/N’s voice was calm, resolute.

“Yes.”

“Yes,” was Kara’s return, and she felt Y/N’s hands squeeze hers because she had begun to tremble, and for a brief moment Kara once again realized that there was no shifting of balance, no changing of roles, because the comforter didn’t have to be left uncomforted, there was a control in subservience, and even as she waited to kneel, Y/N was holding Kara up.

“Y/N and Kara have decided to make their own presentations to each other rather than following the usual claiming ceremony,” Ms. Snow said, “And Kara has promised not to use a lot of words.”

Their friends and family laughed; Kara rolled her eyes when Maggie let out a whoop from the front row only to be shushed by Alex.

“Y/N?” Ms. Snow asked gently. “Are you ready?”

Kara saw the subtle intake of breath, felt the trembling return to Y/N’s body, and her impulse, even as Y/N let go of her hands, was to pull the young woman into her arms and whisper comfort into her ears. But she held back, because Y/N was removing the thin bracelet from Kara’s right wrist and handing it to Ms. Snow, exchanging it for the bracelet that had, for the last three days, rested in the small royal blue box.

A pillow now sat at Kara’s feet, waiting for the moment when the collar would be placed around Y/N’s neck. But for now Kara was distracted by the shaking of Y/N’s hands, the fumbling of her fingers around the bracelet, which slipped out of her grasp and tumbled to the sheet on the grass.

“O-oh no,” Y/N said as she knelt down on the pillow and picked up the bracelet, her voice laced with embarrassment and regret. “I messed up, I’m s-sorry…”

Ms. Snow moved to say something, but Kara held up her hand, then reached down and tucked it under Y/N’s chin, stroking the skin with her thumb and lifting the girl’s head so that Y/N was looking up at her. Y/N’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and Kara’s heart melted.

“Easy, little one,” she said. “You’re doing just fine, Y/N. It’s okay, you’re all right.”

Y/N hesitated for a few seconds then took a deep breath and nodded, steadying herself. She stayed kneeling on the pillow as Kara dropped her hand; Y/N looked at the bracelet then raised it to her lips, kissing it before latching it securely to Kara’s left wrist and holding on to Kara’s hand with both of hers.

It was a bird, Kara saw, and she smiled through her tears, marveling at how appropriate it was. A single silver bird in an open circle, held flat against the back of Kara’s wrist with a silver band. Kelly and Sam had gone with Y/N to help her, but she’d picked it out herself, Sam had told Kara, and it gave Kara no small amount of pride that her girl had chosen something specifically for her, something that she would wear for the rest of her life.

Y/N dipped her head and kissed Kara’s hand, nuzzling it as she began to speak.

“I love you, Mistress,” Y/N said, and Kara had to fight back the sob. “You… you know I like drawing birds a lot, and I thought this was the best thing for me to give you. Because when you found me… I was like a wounded bird, you know? Tossed out of the nest and I’d forgotten how to fly. And you… you gave me my wings. But no matter where I go, I promise, Mistress, I’ll always fly back to you.”

She was crying then, openly, barely able to see Y/N but holding on to her hands for dear life, anchoring herself with Y/N’s words. With that one specific word.

Mistress.

“A lot of stuff has happened to me, but it’s in the past now. I want to… let go of my past and start my future. Our future. Together.”

 “I know I’ll make mistakes,” Y/N said, once again kissing Kara’s hand. “And I know you will too, even though it’ll be hard for you to admit it, because you hate being wrong.”

She couldn’t help but laugh as Y/N stuck her tongue out. Her little brat, Kara thought. God she loved this woman.

“But I promise that no matter what happens, no matter what mistakes we make, I’ll do my best to fix it. I’m always going to be there for you, I’m always going to try to be your best little one—“

“My only little one,” Kara interrupted with a chuckle, and Y/N smiled.

“Not done talking,” she said, and Kara nodded. “I’m always going to try to be the little one you need, the little one you deserve. Because I love you, Mistress. I love you so much.”

And then as Y/N fell silent, Kara knew all attention had turned to her, and the pink satin box that Caitlin Snow had opened and held out to her.

Y/N had asked for Kara to not to give her anything silver, as it was too reminiscent of the time she’d spent with James. And so the collar was gold; thin, strong links of chain meant to be held together at the ends with a lock, and Y/N smiled seeing it, because the lock was a thick gold star of about an inch, the keyhole in the center.  Still tucked in the box was the key, a dainty little antique with an open gold star on the end.  She would carry it with her everywhere, Kara knew, and hope that the only time the key would need to unlock Y/N’s collar was when the girl showered.

The lock was unlatched, and so Kara pulled it from the collar and draped the chain around Y/N’s neck, the two ends dangling open over her shoulders. Kara smiled at her reassuringly, seeing Y/N shiver slightly, and she lightly brushed her hand over Y/N’s face.

 “I at first thought I would sing to you a song expressing my emotions,” she said, and then grinned. “But for once I decided to save everyone the melodrama and just… tell you.”

“I love you, my little one,” she said, and meant it to the very core of her heart. “This collar has a gold star lock on it because, well… you know gold stars are my thing, but also, you’re my gold star, Y/N. Shining bright and beautiful every time I look at you. And no matter what happens, no matter if you’re obedient or naughty, happy or sad, I promise to always love you. Everything that you’ve been, everything that you are, everything that you will be. For the rest of my life, I love you, Y/N Zor-El-Y/L/N.”

She slipped the lock through the ends of the collar and moved to latch it, but was stopped by Y/N’s hands on hers.

Kara’s heart plummeted. Was Y/N rethinking everything? Had she decided at the last minute that she couldn’t do this, that Kara wasn’t the one, that maybe there would be someone better for her out there? She opened her mouth to say something but for once the words wouldn’t come.

Which was a good thing, because Y/N’s hands folded around hers, their fingers linked awkwardly, and Kara realized with a choked sob that Y/N’s intent was for them to close the lock around her collar together.

It latched with a click, there was light applause from the family – and another whoop from Maggie – and it was done.

Kara Zor-El had claimed Y/N Y/L/N as her own.

Jeremiah appeared at Kara’s side long enough to take the key for safekeeping until the day was over, and then Kara was reaching down and lifting her submissive – her little one, her girl, her Y/N – to her feet.

She wrapped her arms around Y/N and held her close, then tilted back and lightly kissed Y/N’s lips, laughing through her tears.

“I love you,” Kara said again, glancing down at her bracelet, and smiling when she saw Y/N toying with the lock around her neck, an expression of happy wonder on her face.

“This is so beautiful,” she whispered, before kissing Kara again. “I love you, Mistress.”

Kara didn’t think she’d ever tire of hearing Y/N say those words to her, and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask Y/N to say them again when Miss Snow interrupted once more.

“Only one thing left to do then,” and Kara nodded, realizing that this was the most important part.

She took Y/N’s hand and turned her to face the table upon which the contract rested. Kara didn’t really care for the term “contract,” but knew that technically the wording couldn’t be changed. “It’s a promise,” she had explained to Y/N. “A promise that I’m going to take care of you to the best of my ability, and that you’ll do the same for me.”

Indeed, the contract laid out Kara and Y/N’s rules in simple, black script, presented coldly, almost medically, with no indication of the emotions and troubles that had led up to that point. But though Kara knew that it was just a piece of paper, and that what really bound Y/N to her was her heart, and the gold star collar around her neck, a part of her still tensed when Y/N hesitated, the pen in her hand poised over the page.

But then Y/N signed with a steady stroke, Kara took a deep breath and did the same, and Caitlin Snow was beaming as she said “Ladies and gentlemen, Kara and Y/N Zor-El-Y/L/N!”

Finally it was time for hugs from everyone, including sloppy kisses from baby Maya and an excited bark from Theo, who looked dapper in the green and white bowtie Kara insisted he wear. The chairs were moved back to make room for tables, the food was brought out and soon it was apparent, as Y/N and Kara shared a slow dance together, that Miss Snow had dipped into the wine and was now walking around telling everyone they’d look much better in green.

Y/N stayed close to her as a few hours went by, and Kara kept her arm firmly around her little one’s waist while they walked around and accepted everyone’s well-wishes. The moon was high in the sky when Kara decided that it was time to excuse herself and Y/N from the festivities. The night wasn’t over yet, and she wanted to be alone with her girl.

“Ready?” she asked Y/N softly, tilting up to brush her lips with a kiss.

She caught the hesitation, the swallow, before Y/N nodded. “Yes, Mistress.”

Kara squeezed her hand and turned to her father, who had walked up to her and Y/N and was now offering the key to Y/N’s collar to his daughter.

“Be gentle,” he said in a low voice to Kara as they were standing off to the side. “Be gentle, and be patient, and—“

“No, stop.” Kara held up her hand and made a face. “You are the last person I want to give me tips about anything like that.” She smiled and hugged her father. “I’ve got it, I promise.”

The applause of their family and friends – and yet another whoop from Maggie – echoed in her ears as Kara led Y/N away from them and to her car. She giggled a little when Y/N rushed around to the driver’s side to open her door, only to stand there sheepishly when Kara had to unlock it. Kara pulled her into her arms for a kiss, then got behind the wheel as Y/N took her place next to her.

The young woman stared nervously out the window, and Kara held tight to her hand, as with her other, she steered the car, and her submissive, towards home.

[next]

[disco-cola]

ok im boutta rant so hard. so honestly the reaction of people (or sometimes lack thereof) to the recent events between palestine and israel is so telling… so many people even in my own surroundings are so ignorant and stupid and one-sided. being in support of a free independent palestine and still acknowledging the ongoing nearly daily mistreatments of Palestinian people by the IDF in the gaza strip west bank etc. even now after those recent horrible attacks on israel (which are not condonable or justifiable ever to me) does not make you a „terror sympathizer“ or even „anti-semitic“ like be so for real. this is exactly what the western media has been trying to make people believe for all those past years and they‘re doing it again now and using it for propaganda- which is why it’s so important to ALSO get updates from Palestinian sources (I use eye.on.palestine and theimeu and byplestia on insta since getting back from the trip and actually learning about the situation in 2020 and they are doing educational work on top of news too but beware it also contains uncensored extremely disturbing footage that a lot of western media just casually completely refuses to report about). It’s this complete disregard and erasure of Palestinian struggles for the past nearly eight decades and history under israeli occupation. The complete justification of the counterattack and pledges of unwavering solidarity in the big western newspapers without telling the whole story NEUTRALLY. Like what I’ve read in newspaper articles in the past days is actually SCARY bc it sounds like absolute brainwashing and is not neutral truthful reporting at all. I will say it as it is I don’t give a flying fuck about any of those violent colonialist settlers losing their lives. I also dont give a shit about any violent hamas member who killed an israeli civilian involved bc they are just as racist and evil. Scum like that needs to be wiped off the earth so that maybe one day this place really can find a solution in peace. And I really do wish that for Palestinian AND Israeli people, for Jewish AND Muslim people. I‘m so sorry for all the innocent lives lost who get caught in the crossfire but you also can’t tell me, and I’ve literally read this today in a big newspaper that I quote „israeli forces will do anything to protect Palestinian civilian lives“ bc it doesn’t line up at all with the footage shared from targeted regions in Gaza and that „Palestinian terrorists will use their children as shields and then cry into cameras and we cannot show sympathy for them“ when all I’ve seen are traumatized mothers or fathers who couldn’t even walk or stand up straight bc they were crying so hard. It’s inhuman to not show empathy like hello? I can’t believe this is actually what they’re printing and people are buying into it bc they think this is the right and political correct thing to do.

Also don’t forget about the fact Israel has one of the top high tech modern military forces in the world. Israel has iron dome and david’s sling (and thank god they do bc it does prevent more senseless deaths) which are highly advanced air defense systems which are said to have a catch rate of 90%. they are not catching and preventing ALL missiles from hitting sadly but A LOT of them. however when israeli military fires missiles on gaza, they KNOW for sure they WILL hit. Even if they apparently give „warnings“ to the population before starting an attack. In Gaza at least 900 civilians have already died in in the last 3 days, reportedly half of whom are women and children. Please think about them too when you mourn the victims, even if their pictures are not shown in the newspapers.

[moonlightknightess]

Hiii

nice to see you back ❤️ thank you for answering my ask .

I’m interested in eremikasaha kids , can I get smn for them ( not all of them just one or two ) idk honestly some cute family moments like first step or birth

Hello! Kinda weird how im answering this asks months later and yet it feels fitting with the whole coming back thing 😅 makes me feel a bit guilty about it ngl Now, EreMikaSasha with Kids are something else! I haven't really give it too much of a thought when I first started writing about them but I can totally see it! both cuz Mikasa has always had this family aura surrounding her (and there is no way she is going through life without enjoying the wondars of a family she was denied at such a young age 😔) and cuz I can totally see Eren and Sasha struggling way to hard with the whole parenting thing, which gives me the giggles ngl 🤭

Their first borns have to be a pair pretty beautiful girls! Firstly cuz I said so and sencondly cuz Eren gives me the vibes of being a girl's father 😖

They are both conceived and born on the same day, just hours apart, mainly cuz Eren's horny ass found it arousing to do it like that 😤 (it quickly bites him in the butt cuz dealing with two pregnant women at the same time is no joke lol, he was forced to become their malewife in order to help them 😂)

They all are a mess of tears when their are finnally born into this world (pun intended) both Mikasa and Sasha at the verge of passing out as their welcome their Kids for the first time by calling their names, Carla and Natasha respectively 🥺

The more they grow, the more they realizar them both are literal carbon copies from their respectives mothers! Like Carla would get obvious oriental features resenbmling her mother, and Natasha's reedish hair it's an obvious tell of Sasha's 😂 the only reason he knows they are his children it's cuz they both got they emerald like eyes! Which they rock flawlessly!

They personalities also rubbed on them because Carla will be the quietest of the babies, hardly ever cries, let alone make a single sound, while Natasha on the other hand is a whole different deal, would show her amusement at any small thing that happens in front of her by laughing or gasping, and will get startled by the smallest of noises, crying out loud for her mommy to sing lullabies till she sleeps again!

For that reason Natasha is the first to say her first words in between the two of them! a single "Ma!" that she says right after Sasha comes to pick her up that has her almost sobbing on the spot, barely able to call for Mikasa and Eren to flex on them how her little one said her first words!

When it comes to more important things in the matter of parenting they are all a mess, some of them more than others, but in the end they are all new to this life changing commitments, and so they are bound to make some mistakes

Mostly cuz Eren would be way too overprotective over his children whenever they interact with other kids at the local playground, or simply when they interact with their enviroment, like preventing them from doing harmless things as playing with grass or interrupting the fun they would have with other kids whenever he sees them stained with something, and obvious reflex he took from his mother (oh how tables have turned 🤣)

Sasha would be a bit careless on the other hand, since she grew up with a father that made her learn about the world by letting her figure things on her own, leting pass things such as let them try to eat anything from the floor just so they learn what is ediable and what not, or letting them on their own for way too much time

Mikasa would try to be in the middle ground when it comes protecting their kids, a perfect balance of letting them experience things on their own and helping them when they need her, her only flaw coming in the form of her inexperience with dealing with kids

In the end they grew more fitting in the roles of parents as a whole, helping each other by making up for each other flaws, successfully rising a pair of beautiful girls that sooner than later would enjoy their own life (they are still teeagers, their parents are just being dramatic😅), the empty nest syndrome hitting earlier than expected and deciding that they want at least a boy this time 😈

[eroticcannibal]

I’ll just get this out of the way: I believe in transandrophobia or whatever people want to call it, I believe in listening to trans mens experiences.

BUT. I cannot stand most of the big people on here who discuss it for reasons similar to the recent post you made about how privileged women still experience violence.

I once saw a thread of trans men all saying that cis white women who fear violence and being kidnapped murdered, shouldn’t fear that, and that any cis white woman who is scared of misogynistic violence has just been brainwashed by mainstream true crime and crime shows, and a couple people said “lol they don’t want you why are you scared”.

I am a white cis girl (I’m also a trans guy but that’s not super relevant rn lol). I fully know my privilege and frequently have discussions along the subject of white privilege with friends of color. I don’t shy away from the topic.

but I have almost been kidnapped twice in the short 18 years I’ve been on this planet. One of my earliest memories is that experience in a shopping mall. Every cis girl I know, white or not, has had real life experience at least once with this kind of thing.

and when I saw that thread, it made me feel ill. To me it feels like so many other trans guys on here decided that the “being a man doesn’t make you bad” doesn’t apply to any other privileged group because they didn’t want to be seen as deniers of other forms of privilege. I also saw an entire thread where a shit ton of trans guys were literally saying that, because white cis women are the physical “vessels of the white race”, then apparently we are not at risk of domestic violence because cis white men need us to keep their dream of a white supremacist world alive. and many people responded with righteous outrage just to be dismissed as “well they are just trying to defend white women”.

the fucking rampant misogyny in these spaces is so fucking hard to deal with, and they complain all day about how people ignore issues men have, then turn around and act like one form of privilege means your other experiences of oppression don’t matter.

so long story short thank you for those posts I’ve been so ducking exhausted lately trying to find a balance between discussing transandrophobia with other transmascs, and protecting my mental health from all the misogyny in those spaces. it’s so fucking tiring.

U get it. U get it. And yeah this sickening attitude towards women is rampant in spaces that support the idea of transandrophobia (and honestly I think this most recent wave of "progressive" misogyny is squarely on trans men who believe in transadrophobia, and insay that as one of them) I wasn't sure if I was gonna call out that group specifically myself but since u bring it up!

Also I think we saw the same post cus that sounds like one of a few that set me off lol

Like im not even shocked at ur experiences there. I have experienced and seen some SHIT while playing the role of a white cis woman. And it was all normal. The women who raised me to always be on guard did that for a reason. The distrust of men among white women isnt from brainwashing, its from knowing half your friends were molested by their male relatives and seeing their mothers get beat every evening.

But also that other example you discuss... now I've not seen it in these spaces specifically but I have seen *some* people dismissing violence against white women due to something something white supremacy and just. Its truly sickening. Its evil. (And shows a fundamental misunderstanding of white supremacy, female subjugation is an intrinsic part of it).

And yeah like you say. Any time someone brings attention to any of this shit its "how dare you defend WHITE women". As if they arent still women.

And especially when the social space i occupy still overlaps with the experiences considered that of white women, when I'm facing these justified fears of violence (again) in my day to day life.... yeah. Its fucking exhausting. When the spaces that claim to support my experiences as a man dismiss my experiences and fears because those are the experiences and fears of icky white women. (When they arent even mutually exclusive categories, and even people like me and the most cis of cis women have more in common than difference)

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I WATCHED PRIDE AND PREJUDICE FOR LIKE THE 50TH TIME LAST NIGHT AND I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS!!! BUT IM ALSO SO SO SORRY THIS ID SO SO LONG AND NOT SMUT I APOLOGIZE

omg okok so imagine aegon, he’s THE spoiled and seductive womanizer prince of the regency era, always overindulging in food, drink but especially women. unmarried at 23(gasp omg), he has not lived a day where he hasn’t gotten what or who he wanted… unfortunately, his mother is insisting on him getting married, being the eldest and needing heirs, when he would much rather just continue his life of countless drinks and women….

but then! when visiting one of his friends estates in a small town by the sea, that’s when he meets the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen(you!) and he HAS to have her.

you come from a small, not very wealthy family, your parents precious youngest daughter, the last unmarried child in the family. while you know you should start entertaining the many suitors that come by your door, enchanted by your beauty, you would much rather sit by the sea and read novels of lands far away. that’s when aegon first sees you, walking to town as he heads back to his friends estate, focused intently on the story in front of you and not at all at the world around. he’s so captivated by your beauty at first, that he doesn’t look where he’s going and runs right into you. quickly steadying you with a firm hand around your waist and another around your back, he can’t help but feel a bit grateful for the situation, to be able to have your full attention and feel your body against his. before he can get more than a few words out however, you quickly move out his grasp, murmuring a thanks and continuing on your way.

in all honestly, you found him incredibly handsome but having very little experience with men has left you unsure of how to proceed in such situations. this doesn’t deter aegon however and only fuels his need for you. now, every time he sees you, he goes out of his way to talk to you, getting your nose out of your book and your attention fully on him. at first, you were very shy, only saying a few words but after a while, he begins to pry you out of your shell. you begin to enjoy talking to him, his flirty and bold nature never failing to make you blush. ever since he met you, aegon hasn’t had any intimate relations with any other women, not even thinking of doing so, not when he has you. he desires to take you to his manor, to introduce you to his family and make you his bride and princess. however, he’s suddenly called back, due to his fathers failing health. unable to say goodbye to you, he leaves his friends estate in the night, hoping to return quickly. with his sudden disappearance, you are distraught. you had thought he was in the courting stages with you and that you would perhaps be getting married sooner than you thought but his absence caused you unease in your heart. a family matter regarding your older sister and her husbands finances arises, causing you to depart to her home in the capital to help settle matters with your parents. while in the capital, you are invited to a ball with your family in the royal families estate, your parents insisting on finding you a good, wealthy match after aegon’s disappearance and your sisters husbands debts. at the ball, you try to remain a wallflower, desperately trying to escape the countless gentleman’s who ask you to dance with them. eventually you find yourself wandering the grand estates emptier halls, exploring rooms when you hear a man and woman speaking in low tones. you peek around a door, trying to keep yourself hidden when you see aegon himself and a woman seductively beckoning him. distraught and betrayed, you stumble, accidentally pushing the door fully open and aegon’s attention instantly is on you, shock on his face. you don’t give him any time to speak, simply turning and running away, back to the ball and to your parents, begging them to go home.

upon returning to your town by the sea, your parents tell you that they’ve secured a betrothal to an extremely old but wealthy man that will save your family from debt but take you far far away from them. feeling numb and resigned to duty, you just accept it.

meanwhile, aegon is very distraught. the woman you saw him with was one of his many past flings and had cornered him in a room when he had tried to take a breather during the ball. she had tried to seduce him and aegon hadn’t been interested, not in the slightest, but you hadn’t seen him reject her. he had tried to go after you the instant he got out of his shock but upon returning to the ball room, you were already gone.

the next week he spends in a daze, trying to get all family matters sorted so he can get to you as quickly as possible. he catches word of your betrothal and this increases his worry and need to get to you by tenfold. the moment he is released from his duties, he takes his trusty steed, sunfyre and rides throughout the night to you. it is the early morning before your wedding and you’re taking a walk while the world is still quiet, not being able to sleep with your heartache. suddenly, you hear a horses pounding hooves coming up the road followed by the sight of aegon, disheveled and dressed only in a white top and riding pants. the moment he sees you, he stops sunfyre and dismounts, quickly walking to your still form. there is silence for a few moments but then he breathlessly tries to explain his sudden disappearance and the woman you saw him with was simply an old fling trying to get back with him but he wasn’t interested in the slightest. you listen to him quietly, heart feeling relieved upon his explanation. putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him down and let him know you understand, he quickly grabs it, holding it in his larger palm to his chest. he confesses to you that all he truly wants and needs is you and that he wishes to marry you and make you his one and only bride. you tearfully explain that you will be married to an old man because of his wealth and your sisters debts but he assures you that he has much wealth, even more than the old man(bc hello? prince!!!) and he will pay off any debt that your family is burdened with. he vows to call off your betrothal the moment your parents awaken and overwhelmed with emotion, you throw your arms around him, kissing his cheeks and joyfully saying yes to marrying him. he wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up and planting a firm kiss on your lips, elated that he finally has you in his arms and nothing could take you away from him.

THIS WAS SO SO LONG IM SO SORRY!!!! ILL WRITE SMUT FOR IT AFTER MY CLASSES BUT I JUST HAD TO PUT THIS OUT THERE FIRST!!!!

BOO I ATE THIS UP!!! respectfully I LIVE FOR THESE AUs and this one was no exception 🥵🥵🥵🥵

the ansgt, the tension GRRRRR FERAL!!!!

relieved there’s a happy ending now all we need is a little good ole smut 🤭

thank you for taking the time to write this up beautiful, it was amazing to read!!!!

[quirklessidiot]

Drabble #7 : quiet nights :: all i wanna do is grow old with you. [fluff + happy angst?? + coward au series +timeskip] Warning: death Notes: i found this in my drafts and because Ive closed the account might as well post this last drabble as I start fixing my gdocs! thank u once again everyone. I thought it would be good to formally close the acc with this since I literally started it with this story lmao. thank u guys!!!! ive read the goodbye messsage and im really happy that it made me forgot the bad stuff. See you when i see you, yall stay safe and stay hydrated! TCCOGS & reign will be posted in Ao3 when I have the time i love love u guys! onestly wished i had the time management to stick around here T-T read the full story here!

The sun is gone and the wind is cool tonight as you sit next to your husband who lays quietly on his bed, it’s getting late in the evening and you know that the days are numbered. Unlike before where you could still look forward to everyday, you start to wonder if you’ll ever feel the same way again.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Your wrinkled hands are on top of his as he gives you his famous grin that he seems to never have lost even as your hairs turn grey and as the wrinkles on your skin starts to appear, he may have gone old but Miya Atsumu has never lost the youth in his eyes and it makes you fall deeper despite fifty or so years of marriage, “Ya gone awfully quiet tonight, sweetheart.” He jokes.

You both know his days are numbered.

“I’m always quiet though.”

“Talk to me. I wanna hear yer voice.”

“You always hear my voice.”

“I wanna hear it more though, night’s awfully quiet.” He grumbles, “Have the kids called?”

“Yeah, Yuuto will arrive at the morning and Youta might catch the last plane tonight from Brazil. Misaki says she’ll be here in the morning too.”

“Misaki bringin’ her stinkin’ husband too?”

You roll your eyes at your husband’s antics, your beautiful daughter had ended up marrying Kageyama Tobio’s son (the twins were very happy when they heard they’d now be in-laws with the kageyama tobio much to your husbands dismay) it definitely didn’t sit well with your husband, “Yes and the three kids. Yuuto will also bring Ren-chan too and the kids.” you smile, the thought of having all your eight grandkids in the morning as soon as you wake up would be fun.

“How about Youta? When is he ever going to bring a girl or guy or whatever home?”

“You know how he is, he got more of his playful side from you.”

Atsumu frowns, “I did not go out with a lot of women.”

“Mhm,” You mumbled, giving your husband a kiss as you fix his blanket, “Of course you didn’t.”

Atsumu mumbles something that you can’t quite catch yet he says something loud enough for you to hear next, “I did a good job, right? Even if I was gone for the first six years in the two gremlins lives?”

“They don’t even remember that part very well, all they remember was how you were the best otosan in the world.” you comfort your husband, running your hands through his grey hair, “A good ojichan, a great otosan, an even greater husband.”

You notice the twinkle in his eyes, “Damn right I should be, ya deserve the best, Y/N.”

“Yeah,” You whispered, squeezing his hand, “If I could turn back the clock, I’d definitely tell twenty-one year old me to not be afraid to take that leap.”

“I’m just happy I found my way back to ya.” he grins, “Even was able to give that middle finger to yer parents when we met them one time even though they deserved more than that.”

Back when you were in your thirties, you had accidentally ran into your mother and father on separate occasions. Atsumu was glad enough to give them both a middle finger both times despite the apologies. You never did forgive them nor did you attend their funerals when they died.

You chuckle, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” he breaths out, “I’m glad I waited, Y/N. I really am.”

“And I’m glad that I ended up with you, Atsumu.”

The days are reduced to moments though because your husband doesn’t last through the night as expected.

You feel your heart tug.

It hurts because as much as you knew where this would lead up, you already miss him so dearly.

Yet when you glance over his body once again before it's inserted into the crematorium. You see the small smile on his lips and all those memories, all those actions and affectionate warmth he has showered onto you eases the pain.

Your children’s, grandchildren, and his friends' cries are muted behind you as one thought occupies your mind, you definitely were glad that he caught you in the end.

taglist [thank u to each and everyone on this taglist, I wont forget the huge support on this series!]

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[pegging-slenderman]

This is my first time writing for rdr2 and also my first time using this format so please don't judge

javier x a heavily pregnant reader im talking like extremely hormonal in a fuck load of pain just waiting to relise this crotch demon (set in shady belle) tw: spoilers about character deaths minor angst and details abt child birth

To say the least he would be really concerned for your and the baby's health

Would probably be asking some of the women around camp (like Abigail a miss Grimshaw) if it's normal for you to be pregnant for this long and still not give birth

They reassure him its ok and just tell him the best thing he can do is try and find some remedies that can induce labor

he rides out immediately to get said remedies because 1 he can't stand to see you in pain and 2 he can't wait any longer to meet his baby

Anytime he leaves camp he makes sure to give you and your belly a bunch of hugs and kisses beforehand

He hates going far from camp scared of missing his child's birth

When you guys had moved into the new camp duch gave you guys your own bedroom not wanting you to sleep on the ground

At night when you two are laying in bed he will wrap his arms around you feeling up your baby bumb

When the O'Driscolls raided the camp he pulled you into cover immediately making sure you were safe praying to whatever God out there that you didn't get hit by any bullets

Luckily Charles was taking cover behind a wagon right next to yall and helped him get you inside as fast as possible

Javier normally doesn't cry in front of people but his eyes were filled with tears once he held you his arms asking you " mi amor are you alright?! You didn't get hit did you? Please tell me our baby's okay!" Whilst holding his hands on your tummy

After you reassure him that you and the baby are okay he kisses your head and tells you to stay in cover while he gose helps the others

After the ramianing O'Driscolls run off and everyone Is going back outside looking at keirens dead body javier encourages you to stay inside

Mainly cause he's scared of anything else hurting you

He's pretty tense the next few days not wanting to be more then a foot away from you in fear for your life

Ofc the day he finally decides you can be out his sight safely is when you finally go into labor

As he's sitting by the edge of the alligator infested water all he hears is you scream In pain and he's jumping up running as fast as can towards you

Once he finds you your already being helped by miss Grimshaw into the tent she had set up specifically for when you gave birth

He followed in asking all sorts of questions until he was silenced by your yells of pain that's when just shut up and held your hand letting Ms Grimshaw take over striping you of your skirt and undergarments and placing a blanket over you

He felt stressed watching you in so much pain as birth was not exactly a fast 123 done type thing

You were in labor for 30 painful hours

You would squeeze his hand so hard his knuckles turn white

He would be trying his best to comfort in his native language you buy given your in labor trying to translate what's he saying is not top of your to do list "mi amor lo estas haciendo tan bien"(translation: my love you are doing so well) you just glare at him "either speak English or shut the hell up"

Once you finally give birth to a healthy baby girl javier Is crying tears of joy while holding his little angel in his arms smiling seeing you finally getting some peaceful rest

Oh any you know he is extremely protective of both you and the baby girl you decided to name Veronica after his late mother

The two of you have him wrapped around your fingers

When he was leaving to go rob the Saint Denise Bank he gave you a loving kiss and huge you and Veronica tightly "Los amo a los dos más que a nada en este mundo"(translation: I love you both more than anything in this world)

Ofc when he didn't return it worried you

You feared having to raise this baby on your own whilst mourning your husband

As Charles returned he informed everyone about hosea and Lenny's death and that everyone else escaped on a boat

All you could think about was javier

And all he could think of was you and Veronica pleading whilst being dragged by a donkey "¡por favor! Tengo esposa e hija"(translation: please! I have a wife and daughter)

When he had returned first thing you did when you saw him was jump into his arms crying "I thought you died!" He would hold you close "mi amor I would never leave you and Veronica "

He cried first time he held Veronica again much like he did when she was born

As yall moved camp to beaver hallow you two would have some arguments "you keep doing these goddamn suicide missions your going to leave our baby fatherless!!" He groaned "amor I don't have a choice I just want a better life for us!" You shook your head "yes because being a widowed mother is a better life!!"

One night he was holding Veronica rocking her to sleep and arthur walked up to him looking more sickly then ever

"Your a great father Javier "

"I know "he didn't even look at arther just his baby girl

"Look I get your loyal to duch but something bad is about to happen and I want you and your family safe when that goes down"

"What do you want me to do?! Go up and run with my wife and kid?! I have no money im wanted almost everywhere I go and I haven't know a life where I wasn't on the run since I was a teenager!"

Arthur reached in his coat and pulled out a stack of money placing it on the table in front of javier "just think about your family first "and walked away

The next night you and javier were packing up a wagon just a few more things then you two would get out of there

Arthur came over watching you two pack "I see you listened to my advice javier "

"I had to I can't keep my family at risk like this it's not how I want my daughter raised "javi said as he packed the last bag "thank you Arthur "

"Don't thank me" Arthur shook his head

You walked over and gave him a big hug "im gonna miss you the most. I'll make sure Veronica remembers her uncle Arthur "you smiled

Arthur just smiled and looked at Veronica "that girls gonna go far in life".he then looked at javier again "what are you waiting for get out of here before someone notices!"

Javier helped you get on the wagon then handed you Veronica before getting on himself taking the reines you waved at Arthur as you rode off

[writingabouteverything]

The Perfect White Flower--and Other Nonexistent Things

a/n YALL THIS IS PROBABLY DUMB BUT I HAD THIS IDEA ABOUT A HARRY STYLES X READER FIC THATS BASED ON THE PLOT OF JANE THE VIRGIN AND I WANTED TO WRITE IT SO BADLY I MADE THIS ACCOUNT

disclaimer--wont follow the show exactly 

Pairing: Harry Styles x latina! reader (a key factor of the show revolves around the lead being latina, and im latina and honestly love writing for us but anyone can still read and understand/hopefully enjoy and the fic doesn’t involve any physical descriptions:)) 

Series Summary: Y/n l/n has had the world figured out since she was a child. She won’t be a writer because it’s risky, she’ll just focus on school and becoming a teacher. She’s never been a child, because her mother had her at sixteen and hasn’t aged a single year since. That’s part of the reason the promise she made to her grandmother means so much to her--if she doesn’t have sex before marriage, her child will never have to grow up as quickly as she did. And Harry Styles is at the top of the world--his music has never been more successful, he has a lovely girlfriend, and he’s never been more in demand. He has everything in the world...except a child, and through a series of unbelievable events--y/n might be his only chance to have one. Ever. 

Chapter One Summary: Who knew getting a pap smear on two hours of sleep and three cups of coffee was as bad as having unprotected sex? 

There’s something dangerous about taking public transportation in LA. And no, I don’t mean it in the ‘there are bad people in the world’ type of way. I mean it in the ‘I live in one of the casual influencer, celebrity, tourist hubs of the world and each time I step onto the bus I find myself mesmerized by all the stories I see in them’ way. Kind of pathetic, I know, but sometimes a child with blonde pig tails or a woman streaming on instagram live will catch my eye and the urge to pull out my lap top and start something I’ll never finish. 

I know that writing isn’t some kind of disease. But I can’t let myself fall in love with it the way I want to. There’s nothing wrong with writing a short story or two, but trying to write a novel? That’s impractical. It will distract me from school, from the four year plan I’m almost done with.

Sighing, I brave taking at my surroundings. I deserve this today, after the anonymous, rude costumer at the hotel today, I need positivity. No one is particularly inspiring. The bus stops and I watch out the window. At first the crowd is ordinary, and then i see them...paparazzi. Flashing cameras from all angles, grown men violating all rules of personal space. It never sits right with me, but I guess it’s just part of living in LA. The bus starts moving again. When it stops again, I see even more paparazzis, but their cameras aren’t flashing. Good for whoever escaped that. 

The bus door opens and I snap my attention back to my computer screen. I rub my eyes as I stare at my word document. How is there more that needs to be edited? This professor is the harshest grader I’ve ever had, and my friend, Gisa, is kind for giving me even more notes. But I’m exhausted. Two tests and an essay due before 12:00. And it’s...11:38. Great--I have to upload it the second I’m at my doctor’s office and have WiFi again. 

I spend some time highlighting and rewording sentences, and once I’m done I reward myself with more people watching because I deserve it and I can’t fall asleep here. I’m kind of invested in the girl live streaming her bus ride...maybe she’ll say her instagram handle. 

But when I look up, she’s not on the bus anymore. Almost no one is. An elderly couple is sitting towards the back. A woman with a toddler sit two rows in front of me...and there’s now a man directly across from me. I blink for a moment, imagining a story for someone who’s face I can’t quite see beneath such dark sun glasses. His dark waves and strong jaw do most of the imagining for me--he deserves a mystery, a dramatic one with a happy ending and just enough romance to keep the people interested. A good romance, too--not too sappy. Enemies to lovers, maybe. A mysterious stranger that’s not really a stranger because something about him is just...familiar. 

He turns his head and I drop my gaze immediately. There’s no doubt he caught that, but I still pretend to edit the title of my essay. “You’ve been typing stubbornly since I first got on the bus.” There’s an accent--of course he’s english. But it’s more than that, I’ve heard that voice before. I’ve been...soothed by it. And--oh my god, I’m sitting across from Harry Styles.

Okay, don’t freak out. Don’t freak him out. He’s probably on here to escape the the whole ‘oh my god, you’re Harry Styles!’ thing.  

“What are you writing?” Harry Styles just spoke to me. I greeted my one direction poster every single day in middle school, and Harry Styles just spoke to me. Okay--relax, breathe--it’s only weird if you make it weird. 

There’s a kind of curt curiosity to his question. He could have been ruder, considering how blatantly I was staring at him. “I um...an essay.” I’m temped to turn the screen so that he can see I’m telling the truth. Though he wasn’t hostile, a part of me is paranoid that he thinks I am writing about him. It’s a fair assumption, for all he knows I’m drafting a tweet about who I saw on the bus this morning or preparing to send something in to some gossip girl-esque blog. “It’s due today at noon and normally I’m way more on top of things, but I had this last minute doctor’s appointment rescheduling because my usual doctor is out of town and--” I cut myself off before I can tell Harry Styles that I’m ovulating and that if I don’t go to my OBGYN now, I have to wait an entire month and I’ve already been off birth control longer than I’d like. I might not have actual sex in my near future, but my cramps have been extra terrible. “An essay, I just finished an essay.”

He nods once. Maybe he feels bad for so thoroughly startling me into such a rambling, because the corner of his mouth tilts upwards. A soft smile adds even more grace to his features, I focus on the dimple that appears in his cheek. “An aggravating essay, I take it, considering the death glares you’ve been giving your laptop screen.”

I smile at his polite humor. “It’s for the harshest grader on campus. She took three points off of my first essay freshman year because I spaced my bibliography wrong.” 

He cringes in sympathy. “Good luck.” 

“Thanks,” I hum, proud of myself for not letting him know that I know who he is. The bus stops, I can see my doctor’s office behind a few paparazzi. “This is my stop.” 

Harry nods once, ducking his head slightly. A tiny part of me feels sympathy for him; from what I’ve gathered, he genuinely loves his fans and the relationship they have, but it must be draining to never have a moment of privacy. Especially when it’s people who care more about selling your picture than your mental health. 

I linger on the bus’s step, watching the men with large cameras look around. “Excuse me, are you guys looking for Harry Styles?” Most of the men disregard me, but one looks at me. “I know he’s near here because I’m a really big fan and my friend just texted that she saw him.” This gets me the attention I wanted. “He’s at Northfield--a cafe like three blocks down. I just know that if she got a picture with Harry in like a magazine or something she’d totally lose it--in a good way, and she’s been having a bad time so if you see her can you try to make it happen? Knowing her she’ll be at his side, she’s blonde, shortish hair.” 

The men seem skeptical, but I guess they realize that this is the best lead they have. I think the fact that I gave a reason to justify selling Harry out for no reason helped. They disperse together, heading at least three blocks away from Harry. I don’t know if I’ve actually helped him, but I hope I have. 

“Essay girl.” I freeze, half cringing. Did he hear that? That’s embarrassing. I consider darting away, but decide that would just make me cringe more. So I turn on my heels. “You...you forgot your phone.” 

He just saved my life. “Thank you.” I take my phone from his outstretched hand, ignoring the slight thrill that runs through me when our fingers brush. “You’re my hero--the last thing I needed today was to run all over the city searching for my phone.” I finish the awkward admission with a partial laugh. 

“Least I could do,” he mumbles, “especially considering what you just did.” 

...He did see that. “Oh um--it was nothing, I just kind of made a connection and assumed the only reason you’d be on a public bus is because you were trying to avoid some things, and you make really great music and a lot of people happy, so you deserve that break.” Why does it feel like I’ve been talking forever? “Anyways, thanks for the whole phone thing, and I hope I got them off your tail.” 

My joke seems to somewhat land. His lips part, like he’s planning on saying something else. A timer on my phone interrupts him. I instinctually look down--great, the alarm on my phone warning me that I’m only ten minutes away from being late. “I’m late.” I turn towards the bus’s exit. “I gotta go, but thanks again, and I hope you have a good day.” 

I disappear after that, still not sure that that whole thing wasn’t some kind of hallucination. Did I just meet Harry Styles? He...he gave me my phone. Harry Styles has touched my phone. I can’t wait to tell Gisa, she’ll lose it.

I’m still thinking about Harry Styles when I finally reach my OBGYN’s office. When I get there, things are a lot more hectic than I thought they’d be. Many people crowd the waiting area and the receptionist’s desk is clearly understaffed. Two young girls are trying to address multiple upset pregnant women and take phone calls at the same time, all while practically buried in a sea pf paperwork. Wow, I didn’t realize that transferring was such chaos. One of the girls waves me over and barely checks my name before shoving a form towards me. I fill out as quickly as possible. 

 I upload my essay quickly after checking in. Who knows, maybe Harry Styles’s blessing will get me an A? A third person in scrubs emerges from the back after a moment and ushers me into a room. I tell myself to focus on going over the facts I need for the test I have to take in a little over an hour. Or to focus on the fact that I just met Harry Styles. But instead, I feel my heavy eyelids fall shut. 

I don’t know how long I sleep, but I know that I wake up during the middle of a doctor’s sentence, “...I know I’m not your usual, so I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.” 

“Hm...Yeah, yeah I’m comfortable.” She nods once, her wide eyes slightly red. “But I do have a class today in like an hour, so I was wondering if this was going to take longer because of the office’s move?” 

“Oh, no,” she shakes her head. “Just because Dr. Rodriguez gave us no notice before deciding that she no longer wanted to work here...or in the country. Or even live in the US, despite the fact that we just signed a lease on a place together...” Tears well in the stranger’s eyes, pity settles in my stomach. 

“That sounds incredibly complicated, I didn’t mean to rush you.” 

She blinks twice, her expression blanking as she fights against the pain of what’s clearly a terrible break up. “No, no--you have every right. Today is your day and if..honestly, if you’re strong enough to go to a class after this, and do what you’re about to do by yourself, then I’m strong enough to get through today.” 

Um...didn’t realize a pap smear counted as something that needs moral support, but I’ll chalk it up to her heightened emotions. “Thanks.” 

She snaps on her medical gloves. “No, thank you for your patience. Now lay down.” 

I do as told, preparing for a sensation I haven’t often experienced. A moment passes and I know she’s started. She’s moving away from me much faster than expected. Oh--I guess pap smears are a lot shorter than I expected. 

“That’s it?” 

“Yep,” she hums, pulling her gloves off. “Now just take it easy, and hydrate.”

Weird...but that’s like general doctor advice. “Thanks!” 

--

I’ve never wanted to keep a secret from Gisa, but sometimes I really regret telling her I met Harry Styles. It’s been almost a month and I find my mind wandering back to the moment in which our fingers brushed more than I should. Sometimes I let myself wonder what he might have said if my phone hadn’t rang. I was probably just imagining the way his lips parted, but my ind refuses to let it go. 

“...You know it’s kind of sad, I read an interview in which he spoke about the fact that he has some genetic condition that makes it hard to have kids. He has so many godchildren, and I feel like he’d make such a great father.” 

I try to keep up with Gisa’s words, but the dull ache in my head makes it feel so far away. “Yeah...he seemed really patient.” 

Gisa nods, turning to face me. “You alright, you’re looking kinda green?” 

“Yeah...” I reach for my canvas bag. “I think I just...I probably just need some water.” 

My hand grazes the metal of my water bottle and then the corners of my vision blur into blackness. I sway, Gisa’s hand is on my shoulder...and then it all goes black. 

--

I sit uncomfortably on the hospital’s cot. Gisa is a traitor for telling my mom that I fainted. I knew she’d just drag me here--hispanic mothers, they either believe they can cure you with vic’s vapor rub or they want you in the ER. No in between. 

“I know you didn’t want another test, but you’ve been throwing up in the morning for days and now you’re fainting.” 

“Fainted,” I correct, “it happened once.” 

“C’mon, mija, it’s just one doctor’s appointment.” 

Speaking of, an ER nurse returns. “Fainting and nausea spells explained,” he says, glancing at his clipboard, “you’re pregnant.” 

My mom and I can’t help but exchange a look before bursting into laughter. Pregnant. If I’m pregnant then the second coming is here. “That’s impossible, I’m a virgin.” 

He glances at my mom, “maybe we should have this conversation in private.” 

“No, what you say in front of me you can say in front of my mom.” 

My mom raises an eyebrow. “Y/n, did you and that guy from your english class--” 

“No! No, we did not. I am a virgin and there’s no way I’m pregnant.” I glare at the nurse. 

He then ushers me to a bathroom so that I can provide a urine sample. After I’m finished, he shows me a pregnancy test strip. “Pink means pregnant.” I bite my tongue as he tests the strip in my sample. He pulls it out and it’s...it’s bright pink.

“I’m calling my doctor, because this has to be a mistake. It has to be like a hormonal thing.” 

“Exactly, pregnancy hormones.” 

I glare even harder, calling the doctor that I saw last week. “Hello, Dr. Ash? I was wondering if I could get a consultation because I’m in the ER and some crazy doctor is trying to tell me I’m pregnant.” 

Silence on the line for a long second. “...I actually cleared my calendar for you.” 

[just-some-random-blogger]

well since you gave me such a meaty reply i have to bite it now

i 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000% agree with your point. i find that a lot of media (mostly mainstream) tend to portray women flat depictions of women, esp in dystopic settings, if theyre not timid and scared cos theyre a girl, theyre mean and 'bitchy' cos theyre in order to be percieved as strong, and in turn theyre acting like a man but a really gross one which is like??? dafaq if you wanted her to be a gross smelly man just make a fucking man???? and cos like ??????? have you ever met a real woman???????? hello? ??? look no further you wanna see a badass woman you can look at your mom/mother figure who DEMANDS respect while taking care of children/putting on makeup all that 'girly nonsense' but oh i forgot mothers dont count as women T_T

BUT THE POINT IS i too as a writer made it a point to create feminine characters that are strong willed and smart (like me <3 ugh love that im complimenting myself) nah cos on a real level, i see stories and im like ?????? GIRL? ????? ?? ?? ? THINKING IS FREE DAFAQ????? also i will smack a rat fucker if they try me ////////: come at me fucker, i refuse to take shit from anyone

but then this fuels another disparity, that woman can only be bearable if they are acting like men cos of that rugged/violent nature. saying that aloud, it also calls to attention why the manly man archetype is like this anyway WHICH IS WHY HE LOVE JOEL HE BE SCARY BUT HE CARES UGHHHHHHHHHH T_T

i couldnt find the video T_T but there's this channel on YT called 'The Take' and they do like analysis on pop troupes culture and they have this one video where they talk about in particular the director/creator of gal gadot's wonder woman; they kind of something along the lines of girls dont want to be girls, they want to be guys because of media portrayals, and so the solution is to make strong feminine characters that they can look up to.

OK THIS IS GETTING LONG BUT the point i wanted to make with that is that i felt the care you put in for creating yn as this sunshine girl. she was a whole lot of woman, she radiates femininity with how you described her in all the 'traditional' senses, and in the scenes where you kind of depicted her protecting ellie is i think a great way of showing yes shes a sunshine girl, but given the context of the world, she has adapted and learned to defend herself, aka she will break your neck push comes to shove-- which i think is a great way of putting it ya know. you can be a sunshine girl and know how to fight and you can be a tomboy that doesnt. your personality architype does not instantly translate to i can fuck you up/fire a gun so run

now circling back to another very real thing i agree on is the fact the patriarchy will still fucking persist after all that shit because unfortunately the fungus didnt get to kill the fuckers who are so deeply believe in that shit, in fact, they probably lived cos they were the one that started sacrificed other humans first 😍

anyway to sum it up i too have been trying to explore how i shape my female characters because ew i would rather die that man a woman written like a man 🤢 so thank you for putting in efforts to make a girl boss.

come and get your love || j.m.

chapter one of ain’t no sunshine

pairing || joel miller x f!sunshine!reader

summary || someone across the Tipsy Bison had their hand on you all night. how long will Joel Miller take to do something about it?

author's note || first part of the series! all of the chapters can be read as a stand alone, but they do go in order of a time line. hope you all enjoy &lt;3 4.1k words

warnings || jealousy, insecurities, angst, toxic people, possessiveness, fluff, 10 year age gap (joel is 51), SMUT, praise kink, oral sex (f rec), cunnilingus, fingering, squirting, [18+ only]

series masterlist || masterlist

Hail, with it, baby, 'cause you're fine And you're mine, and you look so divine

Joel’s eyes lingered on your form from across the bustling bar. It was in the middle of a Wyoming summer, so you wore a pretty light blue sundress. You could feel the cool breeze brush up against your thighs and the sun beating down on your skin just from the dusty windows. 

You came home one day, telling Joel and Ellie that you traded some old tactical pants for the frilly dress. Joel choked on his morning coffee when he caught a glimpse—Ellie just laughed and laughed. And now, you looked unbelievably perfect, all while you fluttered around the chairs and tables in the Tipsy Bison, talking with friends and newcomers. 

Although, his soft, love-sick eyes started to harden as they continued to follow you. 

The mere sight of someone flirting with you—a shoulder leaning on a support pole with sparkling eyes—was going to send his old bones into a coma. He was sure of it. Joel's chest started to burn from a sizzling rage that crept up to his cheeks. 

You were as friendly as you could be with a beer in your hand and a laugh escaping your lips. He knew you were oblivious to the flirting. You always have been. 

A couple of years ago, along the endless roads of traveling to get Ellie where she needed to go, Joel had been trying to get your attention for weeks, despite his damn self-sabotage that forced himself to avoid you in the previous months before. Ellie saw through it, though. Tommy saw it too. Hell, even Tess saw through it. The one person who had not seen just how much Joel was infatuated and hopelessly in love with you was, well, you. 

He thought that it was because he was rough and unrestrained. Joel was a jagged edge of a rock that cut deep into anyone that came near him. He thought you might not want to be with him and all of his baggage.

You were the exact polar opposite of him. You were a ray of sunshine—a burst of fresh air that knocked the breath out of his lungs. You could handle yourself out there in the depths of survival. He did not doubt that, but you were still warmhearted and sweet. You were what the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten.

Turns out, though, he couldn't have been more wrong. 

Your mind and body were washed over with every essence of Joel. When his hand was on your back to gently guide you through rugged terrain or when you instinctively grabbed onto his upper arm when a lone stranger bumped into your third-person party—your mind becomes blank.

The only thing, you said when you finally confessed, you could think about was Joel. Your body would freeze, and time would slow, your heart the only exception as it beats so rapidly you thought it might burst. So, in the end, Joel finds himself elated with pride and pure adoration that he was able to make you feel so free—so full of love.

“Are you gonna do something? Or are you just going to sit here and be ‘old-man’ sad?” 

Joel snapped out of his daze, turning his head toward Ellie. She had her eyebrow raised, with a hand on a freshly opened beer bottle. 

“Gimme that.” He muttered under his breath and swiped the bottle away from her. She let out a small, “Hey! You dick!” before huffing in frustration. “You ain’t even eighteen yet.” He slid the bottle over to Maria, who nodded back to Joel. “I’m almost eighteen!”

He huffed, ignoring Ellie’s comment. “And no. She’s got it handled.” 

You were probably the friendliest, kindest person that Ellie had ever met—especially in this shitty, fucked up world. Along the dusty gravel roads of travel, you would hold her hand and swing back and forth as Joel trailed not far behind. At night, you would shuffle your sleeping bag closer to hers, so you could laugh and giggle at her pun book until falling into a distant slumber. In the mornings, when you and Joel were keeping watch, and a lone stranger would interrupt your three-person party, you jumped in front of Ellie and pointed your shotgun at the intruder. You turned quickly, if not instantly, into a mother figure for her. 

So, Ellie knows that you have got it far from handled. She knows you are completely unsuspecting of the person that was practically throwing himself on top of you. 

“Yeah, you are so full of shit.”

Now, in your defense of the flirting, everyone in Jackson knew not to make a move on you. It has been established from the very beginning that you and Joel are made for each other. All you could ever see was each other. Always. 

So, at the end of things, when someone walked up to you with a bright smile and a gleam in their eyes that screamed “please fuck me,” you didn’t think anything of it. Your mind was no doubt in a Joel Miller trance—thoughts rolling over one another about the plains of his skin and the gruff feeling of his patchy beard on your fingertips. But when a newcomer comes along in the commune and gets introduced to everybody, that’s when they try to make their mark on you. 

“She’s fine—”

“You sure, Joel?” His eyes flickered back towards you and saw the newcomer squeeze your forearm. You think nothing of it and crack another joke at who you thought was a new friend, causing them to throw their head back in very exaggerated laughter. 

And now, Joel wasn’t sure at all—not with the bubbled-up feeling that wrapped around his chest and sunk down into his stomach. He grunted out in response to Ellie, who rolled her eyes at his demeanor. Yeah, he was far from sure. 

“Go say something, Grandpa—”

He raised his eyebrow, “hey—”

“Ellie’s right, you know.” Joel’s head whipped around at Tommy’s voice. “She doesn’t even know the guy’s flirting. She’s too trustin’ of people.” 

He gave his older brother a little smile—an all too knowing teasing smile. Joel didn’t say anything, just downing the rest of his whiskey. The ice clunked against the glass, and the two next to him just watched with anticipation. 

“Your brooding is scaring the customers away. Go say somethin’, Joel.”

He ponders for just a moment—mind circling around all of the different thoughts in his brain. He knows you are just fine. He knows you wouldn’t ever do anything of the sort.

If you actually knew that the man was flirting with you, you would stop it immediately. You’re just kind. You just wanted to make friends. He wanted you to make friends in this little town you had learned to love.

Before Joel even knows it, though, he's getting up from the stool. His own heart had taken over his body and ran home with it. He could just barely hear Ellie cheer for the old man to do something. 

His boots were heavy as he walked across the bar, his wrinkled eyes hardening with every step. His heart squeezed at the pure sight of you—a smile almost turning his frown up. That is until the squeezing of his other thoughts from the man right in front of you suffocated his chest. 

“Joel!” 

God, you sounded so sweet. Your eyes lit up so bright he thought he might be blinded. Whatever you were talking about with your new friend, it completely went out the window when you heard the stomps of his boots. 

“Hi, darlin’.” 

His hand ghosted the small of your back, and it almost caused you to shiver. You looked up at him with a pretty smile, opening your mouth to let him in on the conversation. “We were just talking about patrols. I was saying how we saw that bear with the three cubs the other day! and—”

“Can we help you?” The man, you knew as Brad, scowled right up at Joel for interrupting the conversation the two of you were having earlier. Oh, Joel did not like Brad. The scrunch of his nose as he tried to challenge Joel—as if you were a possession—was kicking up a deep rage in his chest. 

Joel opened his mouth to respond but was met with a very enthusiastic smile from you. You looked so excited. “This is Joel! He’s my—”

Brad rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s great. Could he leave now?”

Joel’s back stretched at the complete disrespect. He could handle people being mean to him just fine. When it comes to you, however, he wouldn’t tolerate anything of the sort. You were the thread that kept Ellie and Joel sane with your homemade gifts and fluttering smile. No one was going to ruin that on his watch. 

Joel watched as your bright, smiling face fell.

“Oh.” 

You felt your heart deflate from being interrupted again. It took a lot for someone to build you down, and Brad had managed to do it in no time. You thought you had made a new friend to hang out with. You thought you were finally getting along with someone in Jackson. 

Watching your face fall made something click in Joel’s head. His burning glare never left Brad’s face as he continued to run his mouth about Joel ‘needing to leave’ or something like that. This is why he hated newcomers. They think they could take advantage of your kind gestures and bring you down with them. 

Brad looked at you and then Joel—as if something finally fits in his head. He clicked his tongue, “I have been trying to get you home all night. Don’t tell me you were with him the whole time?”

“What?”

You looked bewildered at the insinuation of ever getting with Brad—let alone anyone that isn’t Joel. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

If Joel wasn’t preoccupied with watching Bradley’s every move, he would’ve snorted at your change in demeanor. You could be the biggest angel there is, but there is no doubt a fire lit right inside of you.

“I have been here with you all fucking night. You think I’d waste my time talking about shitty flowers with you?” His lips curled into a sniveling smirk.

Your hand clenched by your side but was caught as Brad’s hand went to tighten itself around your wrist. You tried to wriggle your way out of his grip, but it felt too firm. “Why don’t you ditch the old man and come with me, sunshine.”

Joel saw the hand on your wrist—the bruising grip he had on you. He saw the sickly, lust-filled eyes that the man was giving you. He knew you could handle yourself. You could throw this random man over your shoulder like he was nothing. 

But something struck him even deeper.

Sunshine.

That was what Joel called you in the secret comfort of whispered feelings. It was what Joel called you when you were badly injured, and he needed to disinfect the wound. The first time it popped into his head was when you were dancing around with Ellie underneath the morning sun. The cute nickname just stuck, and it was his.

Only his. 

Joel snapped in an instant. The long years of survival worked quickly in his brain. He bunched up Brad’s collar and shoved him hard against the wooden pole—jolting his hand from your wrist. “Get your fucking hands off of her.”

You gasped at the lightning speed of Joel’s hand on Brad’s chest, but you weren’t too phased. Adrenaline shot through your chest and spread down to your toes—eyes locking on Joel’s crinkled brows and hard-set glare. 

“Yeah? The fuck you gonna do?” Brad spat.

The bar went silent at the altercation, eyes darting to watch the scene play out. You didn’t pay any attention, though. Your eyes were on Joel. Just Joel.

Brad squirms a bit underneath Joel’s stare, but he seems to be trying to remain tough. Joel’s grip never wavered and almost shoved him further into the pole. 

“If you ever touch her again, I’ll break your fuckin’ arms.” His accent slurred together with each click of his tongue. 

You could feel the fire pulsating through his lips; you could feel it radiate off of his clenched fist. Joel squeezed even tighter against his neck, almost suffocating some of the air in Brad’s throat. He then let out a wheeze, eyes widening at just how serious Joel Miller can be. 

“You got it?” Brad’s eyes squinted at Joel before looking into the crowd around him. Terrified of all the stares and the overwhelming frown on people’s faces—and quite frankly, Joel—Brad finally backs off. 

“Got it.” He said under his breath with a slight cough. Joel very slowly let go of his collar in caution of the man. Brad just nodded, now refusing to make eye contact with the two of you, before sauntering off out of the bar.

Not far behind, Tommy and Maria were alert and watched Brad’s every movement. They had both of your backs as soon as they saw Joel shove him into the pole. Even Ellie was on high alert, which almost caused her to grab the knife in her pocket. 

Joel turned to you in an instant. His eyes glossed over your entire form, grasping every single detail to make sure you were okay. His eyes stopped at the slight tear in your favorite dress. He pursed his lips in annoyance, but then his eyes locked onto your wrist. 

“C’mon. I need to see your wrist.”

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

He took you into the back where the aging room was—old barrels full of whiskey and rum stacked high along the walls. He sat you down on a wooden table and went to go find some supplies. 

You sat there, feeling like you were in trouble. Joel hadn’t said a word, and your mind was starting to race at the possibilities of what he was thinking. While it wasn’t abnormal for Joel to act like this, you knew something wasn’t right.

You could see it in his calculating eyes and furrowed eyebrows—the harsh smile lines on his cheeks almost seemed deeper. You could see it in the way that his hand trembled when he moved some papers to the other end of the table.

You felt stupid for not seeing that Brad was flirting with you. God, you felt so dumb. You really thought that you were making a new friend. You felt even dumber that you couldn’t see the hostility in his eyes, either.

What was Joel thinking? Did he hate you? You knew you mistake people’s flirty gestures for friendly acts way too often.

Did it hurt him? Tears started to form on your lash line, and that sunken feeling in your chest only deepened. 

Joel finally came back with a pack of ice and a little box of first aid. He wrapped a rag around the ice so it wouldn’t burn your skin. 

“Here.” He gently placed it onto your skin, and you went to hold it down. You feel your eyebrow twitch in a cringe at the already bruised surface. You hear Joel digging through the kit in haste—no doubt trying to find some kind of ointment.

You closed your eyes. Your chest was heaving up and down at the thought that Joel had to sit here and take care of you, all while you fucked everything up. 

“I’m sorry.”

Joel’s rummaging through the first aid abruptly stopped. He turned to you with confused furrowed brows, but then his eyes widened. He saw your glossy eyes as you tried to avoid his stare. He saw the way your lip slightly wobbled while you tried to hide your emotions.

“It’s all my fault.” 

You said barely under a whisper, but you were on the side of his good ear. He heard you, and damn, his heart couldn’t have been more crushed. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, and yet you blamed yourself.

“It ain’t your fault. None of it was your fault.” He could tell, though, by the look in your eye that you weren’t convinced. He goes to open his mouth, but you beat him to the punch.

“But I should have known!” You flexed out your hand to emphasize the situation. “I should have said something or got the fucking hint!”

You let out a fast breath, eyes darting across the wood floor. His eyes flickered to the ice pack you set back on the table. “I should—I shouldn’t have been so nice! Maybe I could be less—”

Joel snapped back at the realization of what you were going to say. “Don’t you dare.” His hand instinctively lays on top of your thigh. “Don’t you ever change for people like him.”

“But I–” His hand rested so soft on your cheek, and whatever you were going to say died on your tongue. He was inches away from you now, your chests almost touching together. 

“I know my words are shit, but you are everything, darlin’. You are the kindest and brightest person that I’ve ever known.” He finally rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t you even change for me, darlin’.”

You nodded against his forehead with a small smile on your face. You knew he was right. Of course, he was right. Brad was the shithole, not you. 

He leaned in to brush his lips against yours—feverish and light as you felt the scruff of his beard against your cheeks. He licks into your mouth, and you find yourself pulling him in closer from his flannel collar. 

His tongue swirled through your mouth from desperation starting to lock inside his chest. You have made him feel all kinds of things over the years, but pure love was something he still couldn’t get used to. He needed to feel you—needed to touch you. After the searing memory of Brad’s hand on your wrist, he needed to be inside of you.

“Sweet girl,” he almost purred into your mouth, “need you.” 

You nodded into his lips. A whine escaping them seemed to be the only thing that your brain could come up with. In a mere matter of seconds, Joel was able to turn you into a puddle. 

“Need to hear it, darlin’.”

You don’t miss a beat. “Need you, Joel. Please—”

He bunches up the silky dress, and his eyes shine bright as he sees your pretty laced panties. They were dark—a black onyx—that made Joel want to drool. They rested so well on your hips—so tight. He knew there was a wet patch near your core, too.

His nimble fingers shoved your panties aside to dig—just a little—into your dripping folds. He groaned, rough and bold against the plains of your ear. “J-Joel—”

You knew by the slow, agonizing pace that his hands seemed to feel you in, Joel was going to fuck you stupid. He always got slow and steady when he knew he was going to take his sweet, sweet time. 

“Oh! Oh fuck,” the pads of his fingers move to the nub of your clit. They swirled in small circles, and your hands gripped his shoulders so tightly. Your jaw hangs slack as you feel the pleasure blossom through your stomach to your chest.

“That’s it. Yeah. Does that feel good, pretty girl?”

He was smirking, just a little. You could tell by the sound of his voice, but you see the way his lips slightly curled when your eyes flickered up to his.

“Feels so good, Joel—so—so good.” His other hand spread your legs a little wider for him, relishing in the soft pillows of your skin and curves. He gave your thigh a small squeeze before sinking onto his knees.

Your eyes were about to pop out of your head. “Joel—” You warned, honestly concerned about his knees, but the thought quickly left when his other hand shuffled your underwear down to your ankles. He dragged your hips forward so that your ass was hanging just barely off of the wobbly table. 

“Fuck. Look at you drippin’ for me.”

His eyes shined underneath the yellow-hazed lights. His head goes to dip into your folds, and he moans—sending a rough vibration to your folds. You tasted just the same—earthy and sour and so so sweet.

His hand dug into your thigh—the pad of his thumb was pressing deep into your skin. His tongue flicked and swirled to gather up that slick that dripped from your folds. He felt addicted to you—you tasted, felt, looked, and sounded so ethereal. 

“Oh, Joel—” He could have you on his tongue for the rest of his fucking life. The way you call out his name—hands desperately grabbing at his salt and peppered hair and whimpers leaving your lips. “F-Fuck, I–”

Your brain became even mushier with each flick and whirl of his tongue around your folds. “Can’t get enough of this pussy.” He gruffed.

His mouth moved to your swollen clit, and your hips involuntarily jumped—slightly closing around his head. He pried your thighs open with his rough, used hands before shoving them over his shoulders. 

You didn’t have time to react, though. Not when he was moving a finger to tease your folds. “Joel! Oh my god—” You could only whimper and shout his name. You moan, you gasp, and you whimpered even more. 

It’s all you could think about. Joel Joel Joel. He was all you ever seem to think about. 

His finger slid easily into your sopping cunt, and you moaned into the air. His tongue lapped and sucked against your swollen nub—finger simultaneously curling into you.

“Oh, Joel, I-I can’t—”

His mouth left you, only for a moment, but a whine escaped your lips.

“Gonna cum already, darlin’? Hmm?” He inserted another finger without warning, giving that even longer stretch of your walls. 

You gasped, nonsense mumbling from your tongue. He was sure you said his name in there somewhere. He felt his cock twitch at the sparkle in your eyes and the essence of ecstasy that stretched across your glistening, sweaty skin. His long, thick fingers fucked into over and over—tongue swirling across your pretty little clit.

“C’mon, cum for me. That’s it. You’re such a good girl—my good girl.” You hiccuped, head slung back as your walls continued to clench around his fingers. “You can do it, hmm? Cum on my mouth, sunshine.”

You gasped loudly—body short-circuiting and spasming as the orgasm washed over your entire body. Joel’s name was like a mantra stuck on your tongue. Your body felt white-hot and sticky as your juices flushed against Joel’s chin and your inner thighs. 

Sunshine. Sunshine. You heard that over and over again. He watched with those thick eyes as you came undone. And wow, you looked so pretty. Your gasps and moans, your body shuddering from the shattering pleasure that spreads up and down your body. He wants to remember moments like this instead of the dark ones. 

As you came down from your high, you looked down at Joel. Your strong legs pulled him in a bit closer, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his nose. He just looked up at you—no doubt he had the biggest heart eyes on you that anyone had ever seen. 

You started to laugh from the enormous high—cum running down your legs and the fact that not even fifteen minutes ago, you were hassled by another man. The whole situation seemed funny to you now. 

Joel cracked his own smile, just for you. He caressed your cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth. “Let’s go home, sunshine.” 

You weren’t even sure he caught himself the second time when he called you that. It just flowed off of his tongue so easily.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn’t help but smile as wide as you could. You knew what that meant—what he was insinuating. A fire lit inside of your chest. Damn, you could never get used to the way Joel would make you feel.

He grumbled under his breath. “Shut up. I got it.”

Yeah, he definitely didn’t. He needed your help not two seconds later, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You were Joel’s. Joel was yours.

[samanthadalton]

Star Crossed Lovers (part 14)

Do my eyes deceive me???? part 14???? we did it. im so sorry its taken forever, i will try my best to be more consistent with my writing. love yall for being patient with me it means the most. thank you, thank you. 

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

warnings: angst, swearing (lots of it) 

taglist: @drmmyrs @cloud9in @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @fall3ngods @helpconfusedpersonhere @clowneryme @dopeyouth @boys-girls-i-cant-help-it-baby @vonda-b-real @uselesslesbianfr @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings @somethindarker (sorry again if ive missed anyone, if you wanna be added on this taglist or my general one just let me know 😊) 

word count: 4k (i feel like its short considering how long it took me to write but i still hope you guys enjoy) (also i didnt check for grammatical errors properly so sorry if you find any) 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

The first steps to moving on 

“Bea please,” Poppy whispers, a repentant look creeping up to her face as she looks away from her girlfriend. “It can’t wait.” 

Bea sighs, her shoulders slumping as the last remains of her anger disseminates from her body. “Okay fine, lead the way babe.” 

Poppy stiffens that the pet name but she doesn’t let her awkwardness slip as she leads Bea to a secluded classroom, far away from prying eyes. Both her and Bea turn to look at each other, and both simultaneously open their mouths to talk. 

“I know you wanted to tell-” 

“We need to talk-” 

Both clamp their lips shut, a mutual smile playing on their lips as they look at one another. 

“You go first,” Poppy gestures towards Bea, as she moves to sit on the edge of a desk. 

Bea inhales softly, her tongue darts out licking her lips as she looks down at the ground, her face calculating. “Why does Chloe hate me?” She looks up to Poppy, her eyes boring into the strawberry blonde’s, sadness swimming inside of them, “I just don’t get what I’ve done for her to hate me.” 

Poppy sighs heavily, her eyes awkwardly darting away from Bea’s. “It’s complicated Bea.” 

“Complicated?” Bea lets out a humourless laugh, “I almost just went off on Chloe after she gave her condolences for my mom dying because I just felt she wasn’t genuine and you wanna tell me it's complicated?” 

Poppy sharply inhales, contemplating for a few moments before saying, “it’s because of your mom.” 

Bea scrunches her brows up in confusion, “my mom? What the hell does she have to do with this?” 

Poppy ineptly plays with her hands, not being able to look Bea in her eyes, “at first it was just a classist thing. When you first came to Belvoire, she just wanted to make herself feel superior over you, but in the last year you’ve noticed her getting more mean right?” 

“Right.” Bea stares at Poppy, her expression emotionless. 

“Chloe’s parents have been fighting non stop recently, and it’s been affecting her a lot.” 

Bea’s brows furrow in confusion, “what does that have to do with me or my mom?” 

“Just let me explain first before you react, please.” Bea’s eyes bore into Poppy’s for a few seconds before she nods understandingly. “Her dad cheated on her mom. A lot of times actually. But he was blackmailed by one of the women he slept with.” Poppy pauses for a few seconds, “your mom.” 

Bea lets out a shaky breath, her eyes blinking in disbelief, “no, you’re lying.” 

Poppy nervously bites her bottom lip, “look Bea-” 

“How long have you known?”

Poppy’s face scrunches up in anger, “this isn’t my fault Bea. I only found out that day I went to talk to Chloe about us. Chloe made me promise not to say anything to you-” 

“Poppy! My mom OD and I don’t even know why. And now you’re telling me she was blackmailing the St James family and it doesn’t occur to you that might have had something to do with her death?” 

“They’re not the fucking mafia Bea, jesus. They were trying to settle it quietly by giving your mom some money and make her sign some stuff so she couldn't threaten them anymore.” 

The devastating ramification of Poppy’s admission hangs in the air as the two girls let the words settle into them. “Chloe really is sorry about your mom Bea, we all are.” 

Bea sighs, staring off into space, as a few tears begin to fill up in her eyes. “I just don’t know what to do.” Bea begins sniffling, but Poppy makes no movement to console her girlfriend. Bea notices and her expression sobers, “so, uh what did you wanna tell me?” Bea sniffs a few more times, before looking up at Poppy, giving her a small encouraging smile. 

Poppy looks away, guilt creeping up on her face, as she tries her damndest not to catch Bea’s small smile on her face. “Bea…”. Bea carefully assesses her girlfriend’s demeanour, noticing the similar body language during when they first asked to take a break, she thinks back to the last couple of days, she had barely heard from her girlfriend, and now she’s not affectionate, even after she almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway and her smile drops. “We have to break up,” Poppy says, her tone so monotone and dry as if she didn’t mean the words she was saying at all. 

“I don’t understand,” is all Bea can muster, evidently hurt by Poppy’s admission. Poppy winces slightly at Bea’s tone, finally breaking her robotic demeanour as she lets out a few sniffles. “So is that it? We have to break up,” Bea retorts mockingly, “is that all I get after all these years?” 

“Bea..” Poppy reaches out but Bea immediately takes a step back, tears flooding in her eyes. 

“No,” she holds her hands up, “I don’t get it, things are going good, or at least whatever twisted definition of good we’ve made up. Where the hell did this come from?” 

“Bea my dad-” 

“Of course! Hayden Min fucking Sinclair had something to do with this. Why do you still live under his shadow? You talk all this shit about breaking out of your father’s prison and wanting to achieve your own goals but he sucks you back in.” 

“That’s not fair Bea,” Poppy interjects, balling her hands up into fists in an attempt to subdue her trembling, “my dad has given me so much and he’s threatening to take it all away.” 

“Yeah, all you have to do is get rid of me. Me or the Min Sinclair name.” 

“Bea this is the life I have, okay I’m not like you, I’m not built like you.” 

“So what? I can grow up without a dad and now without a mom but it’s okay because I’m used to pain and disappointment?” 

“I didn’t mean it like that, you have a plan, things you can achieve, I need the Min Sinclair name, I’m nothing without it.” 

“Wow.” Bea shakes her head, “So I just meant nothing?” Bea wildy throws her arms in the air, anger bubbling under the surface of her demeanour. “We’ve practically been together since we were kids. And you’re just gonna fucking throw that away? And for what? Fuck you Poppy.” 

Poppy takes half a step back, dumbfounded by Bea’s outburst. She scrunches her brows, evidently hurt, “you don’t get it Bea. Even though your mom wasn’t the best, she still supported you, even if you didn’t know about it. My dad he- my mom what would she think?” 

“Your mom? Poppy what kind of shit is your dad brainwashing you with? Your mom is dead! You have no idea how she would react to having a gay daughter, but I know she’s probably disappointed in you.” 

“Fuck you Bea.”Poppy runs out of the classroom, tears streaming down her face, leaving Bea on her own. 

“Shit,” Bea whispers to herself before throwing a bunch of punches at the wall, each more cathartic than the last until she can’t physically hold herself up anymore. Bea defeatedly slides into a chair, cradling her head in between her hands, letting the tears free fall, as reality begins setting in that she lost the one thing in the world that was her everything. Poppy Min Sinclair was her rock, the girl who she gave her heart to, the love of her life and just in a matter of moments it was over. Maybe it was too good to be true. The beautiful, perky popular rich girl and the girl who had almost nothing, complete polar opposites, it never should’ve worked. But time and time again when faced against the world they persevered so why was this time different? Poppy had chosen her namesake over the love of her life. She chose the life of glitz and glamour over the girl who gave her her entire heart. Bea feels her entire world crashing down, how much more heartbreak could she take? Was her life always going to be so hard? So full of hurt? Full of pain? She winces at the thought, her head hammering as she comes to the realisation that she understood her mother’s pain more than she thought. 

…. 

Bea hops off her bike, parking it in front of her house, as she pulls her phone out to look at the time. ‘It’s lunch time,’ she thinks to herself. After the day she had today, school wasn’t the best option for her right now. She makes her way to her front door but stops in her tracks when she realises her front door is slightly ajar. Her survival instincts kick in as she effortlessly pulls out her pocket knife, carefully pushing the door fully open. As she steps into the living room, her eyes dart to the closed door of her mother’s room, but when she hears a creaking sound coming towards her bedroom, she cautiously moves towards the source of the noise, the grip on her knife tightening. As she creeps up, she sees the door of her room half opened, a hooded figure standing by her bed with their back facing her. 

Bea stealthily sneaks up to the figure placing the knife a few inches from their throat before lowering her voice to a threatening tone, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing?” The figure gasps, dropping a bag that’s in their hands with a deafening thud before raising their hands in a sign of surrender. 

“It’s me, it’s me,” the voice whimpers out. 

“AJ?” Bea raises her eyebrows, retracting the knife from his throat while pulling down his hood with her other hand. “What the fuck are you doing?” Bea takes a step back while AJ scrambles grabbing the bag he just dropped moments before. When he turns to face Bea, his eyes are wide, filled with fear as he clutches the bag closely to his chest. 

“I have to go,” he says as he attempts to run out of the room, but Bea pulls him back, her face crumpled in suspicion. 

“No we’re not doing this, give me the bag now,” Bea snatches the bag out of his hands before he can protest and opens the zipper to find it filled with cash. She grits her teeth, anger settling into her features as she whips her head up to AJ, “is this my fucking money?” 

“Bea, I- I can explain-” 

“What the fuck AJ!” Bea throws the bag onto the bed, the cash spilling out as she jabs an accusing finger at AJ’s chest. “You’re stealing from me now? I haven’t seen you in god knows how long, you don’t call, text nothing. Even after everything that’s been happening in the last few weeks but you have the audacity to fucking steal from me? Money that I’ve spent years saving? Money that I’ve bussed my fucking ass off for, are you serious right now?” Bea’s voice is filled with rage as she’s practically screaming, her voice now thundering. AJ winces, guiltily averting his gaze to the ground, unable to meet Bea’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry about your mom Bea, I wanted to visit-” AJ croaks out.

“But you didn’t,” Bea interjects, her voice lowered but filled with hurt. “And now you’re taking money- I mean what is so important you had to steal from me.” 

AJ paces towards the bed, hanging his head in shame, when he speaks his voice is quiet, full of fear, “I’m in some bad shit Bea. These guys aren’t playing around.” 

“I told you not to fall into the wrong crowd, I warned you this shit would happen.” 

“Bea please, I’ll pay you back I just need it.” 

“No! What the fuck, when will you pay me back huh? This is my college money, I’m not letting you give that away to your crackhead friends.” 

“Bea please,” AJ clasps his hands together, his tone pleading, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“AJ I have too much shit on my plate right now, I can’t deal with this. You need to find something else, I can’t help you.” 

AJ’s face pales but he stands up, and makes his way towards the door, before leaving he turns to look back at Bea, “I’m sorry about everything.” 

Bea keeps her eyes trained on her bed where the money is sprawled all over the mattress, “yeah me too,” she replies quietly. Bea hears the front door close and she collapses to the ground, letting the tears flow. 

……

A few days later, Bea sits in her dark living room, curtains shut and lights completely off as she wallows in her sadness, drinking from a bottle of cheap beer, as she stares absentmindedly at the ceiling, so drowned in her thoughts she doesn’t hear the resounding knocks on her door until she hears a voice call out, “Bea! Are you there?” 

Bea crumples her brows, forcing herself to stand as she makes her way to the door, she wearily makes her way to her front door only slightly opening the door before poking her head out. “Veronica?” Veronica gives the girl a wide smile before pushing the door more open, ushering the figure behind her into the house too, “Carter? What are you guys doing here?’ 

Veronica looks around the dark room, noticing the pile of empty beer bottles on the floor, “yikes, drinking on your own on a friday night Hughes? That’s really sad.” Carter stands near the edge of the living room, as if he’s an explorer, his eyes darting all over the living room as he assesses this new environment. 

Bea on the other hand scowls at Veronica, “what the hell do you want Veronica, I’m not in the mood.” 

Veronica frowns slightly, pouting her lips together, “we heard about you and Poppy.” 

Bea rolls her eyes, “yeah well I’m trying to forget about her.” Bea picks up her beer bottle from the ground and makes a show by exaggeratingly drinking from the bottle until it's empty. She discards the empty bottle along with the other ones before turning to look at Veronica and Carter, “so if you’ll excuse me.” 

Veronica steps towards Bea, wrapping her hand around the brunette’s arm, “we’re not here for Poppy stupid, we’re here for you.” 

Bea raises an eyebrow, “for me?” 

Veronica turns to look at Carter, beckoning him forward, Carter breaks out of reverie and clears his throat, “yeah uh, we wanted to take you to a party.” 

“A party?” Bea looks between them confused, “I’m not that interested guys.”

“Wait, wait, wait Bea,” Veronica pleads, pulling Bea closer to her, “you’ve never been to a Belvoire party and the year is almost over, we thought we should take you to at least.” 

“I don’t know guys,” Bea says skeptically, “a lot of people don’t like me.” 

“Who gives a shit? You just had your heart broken and you need to let loose.” 

Bea sighs, pulling away from Veronica, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Come on, it beats drinking in the dark on your own.” 

Bea sighs, dropping her shoulders, “what about uh Poppy?” 

“Poppy?” Veronica arches a brow, “her and Chloe are staying in tonight, she said she needed to catch up on homework or something.” 

Bea purses her lips together in thought before sighing,  “fine.” Veronica cheers, “but,” Bea over enunciates, “only for a few hours and if I don’t like it I’m going home.” 

“Okay, deal,” Veronica squeals, wrapping Bea in a big hug. Carter chuckles as Veronica gestures for him to join the hug, he awkwardly wraps his arms around the two girls, before pulling away. 

“Okay, I’ll wait in the car while you girls get ready. Just uh don’t take too long.”

Veronica playfully rolls her eyes as she Bea towards her bedroom, yelling back “thanks Carter.” Giddy, she rushes to Bea’s closest, assessing her clothes until she finds a short red dress hidden in the back. “This!” 

“No, no, no,” Bea shakes her head, pulling the dress out of the ombre-haired girl’s hands. 

“Why not? It would look so hot on you,” Veronica’s eyes trail down Bea’s body, as she sharply inhales. “Bea, you’re single and sexy, stop holding yourself back okay?” 

“I’m not,” Bea pushes back defensively, “I just-” she sighs heavily, “no one at Belvoire has ever seen me dressed up, I’m just- I’m nervous I guess.” 

“Then we have to show them what they’ve been missing for the last three years,” Veronica gives Bea a devilish smile as she takes the dress from Bea’s hands, sliding the dress off the hanger before handing it over to Bea. 

“Uh you gonna stay in the room?” Bea nervously wrings her hands together. 

“Why, are you offering a show?” Veronica lifts a teasing brow, noticing Bea’s cheeks redden slightly, which prompts her to let out a small laugh, “I’m kidding, don’t worry I won’t look.” Veronica makes a show of raising her hands to cover her eyes. Bea laughs as she slips out of her clothes and into the dress, she awkwardly clears her throat, grabbing Veronica’s attention. 

“Hey, uh help a girl out with her zipper?” 

“Sure,” Veronica moves to stand behind Bea, her hands ghosting around Bea’s exposed back, her breath momentarily taken away. She sturdies herself and places one of her hands on the small of the brunette’s back while the other moves towards the zipper, zipping the girl up. Bea smooths the dress down with her hands appreciating herself in the mirror, “you look gorgeous,” Veronica whispers into the shell of her ear. 

Bea’s face completely flushes red and slightly jerks at Veronica’s admission, “uhh thanks.” 

Veronica notices the awkward shift in the atmosphere, and promptly changes the subject, “so where’s your sister?” 

Bea sits in front of her mirror, a comb in her hand as she brushes her long locks, “she’s staying at a friend’s tonight.” 

“Cool,” Veronica answers back but her tone falls flat. The girls bask in the awkward silence as Bea continues to get ready but when Veronica notices Bea struggling to do her winged eyeliner she breaks the silence. “Hey do you need help?” 

Bea smiles bashfully, “yeah.” She rubs the back of her head with her hand, “sorry Poppy used to help me with my makeup.” 

“Right,” Veronica’s face slightly falls but she quickly covers it up, ushering Bea to come and sit on the bed. “Come on, I don’t bite,” Veronica bites the bottom of her lip, “unless you want me too.” Bea laughs but obliges sitting on the edge of the bed. Veronica clambers onto her lap, her thighs settling on the sides of Bea’s legs, and in response, Bea’s eyes widen in surprise but she remains glued in her spot, too shocked to move. 

“V, what are you doing?” Bea whispers, her voice attempting to come across as reprimanding but it comes out as breathy. 

“Relax, I’m just doing your eyeliner.” Veronica plucks the wand from Bea’s hand and angles herself close to the brunette’s face, as she begins drawing on the wings on Bea’s eyelids. Bea steadies herself, as she feels the heat of Veronica’s body so close to hers and when Veronica is finished with putting the finishing touches on her eyelids, she hops off Bea’s lap, making her way towards the desk, scuffling through Bea’s makeup bag before taking up her place on Bea’s lap once again. “Now I think this colour would look good on you,” 

“You don’t think it’s too much red?” 

“Oh babe, red means power, dominance, you don’t wanna be thinking about Poppy the entire night, you wanna have all eyes on you Bea Hughes.” Veronica uncaps the lipstick, her eyes burning into Bea’s lips as she carefully applies the red colour to her lips. “Perfect.” 

Bea smacks her lips together, evenly spreading the red on her lips. “Thanks V.” 

Veronica’s eyes dart to Bea’s lips, her tongue slightly running along her bottom lips before she breaks out of her reverie flashing Bea a smirk, “don’t thank me yet, thank me when you’re having the time of your life at the party.” Veronica slides off Bea’s lap, holding her hand out, “come on let’s finish up because Carter’s been waiting for a while.” Bea smiles up at Veronica, taking her hand as she lets the ombre-haired girl pull her off the bed, as they continue getting ready. 

………

Once they arrive at the party, Carter drops the girls off at the front of the huge house before telling them he will park the car. Veronica’s gaze darts to Bea, who’s nervously toying with her hands, looking up at the intimidating house, the lights blaring and as the music echoes throughout, the bass thumping in their ears. Noticing the nerves settling into her, Veronica slips into Bea's, giving her a reassuring squeeze, “hey, it’s okay, it’s just a bunch of drunk, preppy uptight teenagers, nothing you don't usually face everyday.” 

Bea lets out a small laugh, “just in a big ass house,” she jests. 

“Yeah, just in a big ass house,” she gives Bea a light squeeze as she starts pulling Bea into the house with her. Automatically, they’re met with stares and whispers, as the students look astonished at Bea, some appraising her outfit, while others are confused about her presence. “Hey, just stay with me okay?” Veronica whispers over to Bea. Bea nods, her eyes roaming the room. “I’ll get us drinks.” The ombre-haired girl gives Bea a reassuring pat on her arm and leaves her side and Bea walks into the living room, observing the difference between the vibes of the party between the north and the south. Her thoughts then move to think about Poppy, how Poppy would love going to parties in the north but Bea couldn’t find the appeal in it. Poppy. Poppy, who broke up with her. She’s interrupted from her thoughts by a tap of her shoulder, and Bea turns around to see Veronica offering her a red solo cup, Bea takes a sip and winces. 

“What the hell is this crap?” 

“Yeah for a bunch of rich kids, their taste in beer isn’t the best,” Veronica jokes, slightly nudging Bea. 

“We have way better beer in the south side.” 

“That I can agree with.” Veronica looks over to Bea who looks lost in thought, “hey what are you thinking about?” 

Bea sighs heavily, “Poppy,” she mutters. 

Veronica nods once, “right, yeah.” 

“Poppy would’ve loved a party like this, big fancy house an-” 

“Bea,” Veronica says, her tone slightly agitated, “this,” she gestures around the room, “is a no Poppy zone. That means we don’t think about Poppy, only about fun.” 

Bea nods, “fun. I can do that.” Veronica lifts her cup in the air, “what are we cheering to?” 

Veronica gives Bea a smile, “here’s to the first steps in moving on.” The girls tap their cups together before downing their drinks. “Now if we wanna get drunk, we’re gonna need a lot more of these.” 

The party is still ongoing, and Bea sits in a circle with a few girls from the volleyball team and a few of the football team and other people she doesn’t recognise while Veronica sits beside her. 

“Bea you look so pretty,” one of her teammates says. 

“Yeah Bea your makeup is literally gorgeous,” another chimes in. 

“Who knew strip tease can clean up well,” Ford jests, but Bea slumps her shoulders a little, remembering that these people are not her friends. 

Carter enters the circle slapping Ford on the head as he goes, “shut up, Hughes is cool.” Bea gives Carter a nod of appreciation before looking down at the drink in her hands. Her thoughts move a million miles a minute, but there’s a constant one stuck in her brain, Poppy.

Veronica looks over at Bea, frowning. “Hey come with me.” She stands, excusing herself from the group and Bea follows her close behind. 

“Where are we going?” 

“We’re gonna play a private game of truth or drink.” 

[atlabeth]

transferred part twelve - atla smau

masterlist | part eleven | part thirteen

this takes place about 2 weeks after the last chapter

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well. 

wc: 3.6k 

a/n: i’ve been writing bits and pieces of this since the start of this series so. enjoy. that’s all im gonna say lmao 

warning(s): cursing, mentions of familial death, mentions of abuse, some angst but also some fluff. this is kind of a heavy chapter because both zuko and y/n talk about their past, but there is fluff at the end. 

~~~~~~~~

You pushed your hair out of your face and tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes, catching a glimpse of the time on the corner of your laptop. 

3:23 AM. 

You should’ve been asleep a long time ago, but all of your professors had decided to schedule tests in the same week so it was one of many, many late nights you had had lately. You thought that they would cool down because midterms were coming up, but BSSU professors kept proving you wrong. Late nights like these were becoming a regular occasion, and right now you just needed a break. 

The tea dates with Zuko were the only things keeping you sane. But could you even call them dates? 

It was the two of you, together, sitting and talking over tea for hours, and they were happening multiple times a week. In fact, you and him had gotten tea together exactly 9 times in the past two weeks — and that wasn’t even counting all the talking during your shared shifts. 

Katara, Suki, and Toph told you that they were dates, you wanted them to be dates, but there was a part of you that was so incredibly scared that you were wrong — that moving past that bridge would ruin the friendship that you cherished so much with Zuko — that you kept things solely platonic. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him every time he gave you that smile. 

But thinking about the complicated relationship you had found yourself entangled in with Zuko wasn’t a break, no matter how many times you had pondered over it before falling asleep in the wee hours of the night. 

You closed your laptop and grabbed your jacket that had been carelessly tossed on a stool at the kitchen island, making sure to sneak out of the apartment as quietly as you could. You opted to work in the living room, choosing to camp out on the sofa whenever you had to stay up as late as this, just so you wouldn’t wake up Sokka. Your brother had no idea how much you did for him. 

The cool breeze hitting your face and the shining stars in the sky were a welcome change of scenery from the lifelessness that was your apartment at night and your computer screen that you were sure was going to cause you eye issues later in life with how bright it was. 

You took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the crisp night air, and started to walk. You were sure you looked like a mess. You were wearing some flannel pajama pants, a BSSU tank top, tennis shoes, and Zuko’s jacket.  He had never asked for it back after that night at the party, and when you had showed up to one of your hangouts wearing it, he told you that you could keep it — “it looks better on you anyways” — so you did. 

There was something calming about the atmosphere. You knew that a lot of women were anxious about going out at night, especially alone, but that was why you had taken self defense classes. Being friends with Suki was a self defense class in its own, and it was very much appreciated. You allowed yourself to get lost in your thoughts, trying to give yourself the break that you deserved, when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. 

“You know, it’s not safe to be out alone at this hour.” 

You let out a scream at the unexpected voice and whirled around, your fists already up to defend yourself. When you saw who it was, you laughed, completely shocked, and hit your hands against your legs, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. 

“Holy shit, Zuko, you can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” you wheezed. You had no doubt that he only had good intentions, but for a second you thought someone was going to try and kill you. You had to admit, the scare was worth it to see the mix of horror and embarrassment on Zuko’s face.

“I’m so sorry!” His hands were held up placatingly in front of him and he let out a nervous laugh as well, but it did nothing to cover up the wide eyes he stared at you with. “I am so sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I- I was just up studying too, and I heard you leaving so I thought you could use some company- I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything!” 

You shook your head but couldn’t stop the smile on your lips, gesturing for him to come closer while you caught your breath. “It’s fine. Come on, walk with me.”

He fell into step beside you and the two of you walked in silence for a while, the only disruptions being the occasional car that drove by. It was eerily quiet, but with Zuko, it was nice. 

“So-”

“So-” 

Both of you laughed when you each interrupted the other, and when you motioned for Zuko to go first he shook his head. You paused for a moment, the question on the tip of your tongue, before you decided to take the plunge. 

“I’ve been wondering since I got here; how did you end up as friends with—” You gestured around with your hands. “—this whole crew? It’s kind of a weird combination of people, so I guess I just wanna know how you became a part of it.” 

Zuko sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing your eyes to widen a little bit as a stammered apology came out. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to-” He gave you a tight smile and shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine. You should know about my life if— if we’re going to keep living together.” He knew the moment he met you, the moment he agreed to let you live with all of them, that he would have to explain his past to you. Hell, your siblings might have already told you some of it — he could only hope you’d still want to be his friend after he was done. 

“”I.. I wasn’t the best person in the past. I was a horrible person actually, and I consider myself extremely lucky that I was given so many chances to change. I hurt people. Bullied people. Got into fights just because I could. I was just- horrible is the only way to describe it. But your siblings, Toph, Aang? They were all people that decided to give me one of those chances, and they’re a huge reason that I am who I am today.” Zuko spoke slowly, and you could tell that this was something he didn’t open up to many people about. You smiled softly at him and nodded, letting him know that he could go on. 

“I don’t know how much you know about my father, but he’s the CEO of our family company. He’s been this huge presence in the business world for as long as I can remember, and he’s responsible for all the wealth and fame that our family has today. And when I was younger, I idolized him. I thought he was the greatest man in the world, that he could do no wrong, and I just followed him blindly. He was the most important person in my life, but.. I was nothing to him.” 

“He didn’t care about his friends, or- or his family, he only cared about power. My mother left when I was young, we haven’t heard a word from her since, and- and I don’t even know if he cared. My father would do whatever it took to become as powerful as he could, and that meant—” Zuko’s voice was getting louder and he cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. There was a certain hollowness behind his eyes, and it tore you to pieces. “That meant hurting anyone that went against him. Including his children.”  

“I have a sister, Azula. She’s a prodigy in every sense of the word, and my father used it, used her. She was clearly his favorite, and it drove me insane. I mean, I did everything for his approval, but he only cared about Azula. We had a good relationship when we were younger, but my father molded her into the kind of person he wanted her to be, and— and I was jealous of her. He used that against us, purposefully staked the fire of our competition, one that I thought I could somehow win. But we had both already lost the second we started fighting against each other.” 

“It took me a long time to realize that.. that he was abusing us. I mean, he gave me this scar all because I spoke out of turn, and— and I still thought that I could earn his favor, that he deserved to earn my favor! He threw me out of the house when I was thirteen, and I went to live with my uncle. It took an even longer time, but with his help, and the support of your siblings and their friends, I was able to break the cycle. I was horrible to them at first, all of them, and I hated my father for what he did, but it was probably the thing that saved me.”  “And Azula.. leaving her will always be my biggest regret. My biggest mistake. I should’ve forced her to come with me when I was kicked out, I should’ve done something sooner, because maybe she wouldn’t have turned out the way she did.” He swallowed hard, his voice strained. “I came back for her once I was stable, and I helped her get out. I helped her get a therapist. It’s been a long process, but she’s getting better every day. But not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I could’ve done to help her more.”

You instinctively reached out for Zuko’s hand, and to your surprise, he took it without question. You gave his hand a small squeeze and led him over to a nearby bench — without realizing it, the two of you had entered a public park that was near the complex. When you sat down together, you moved so that one of your legs was crossed in front of you and the other was hanging down so you could face him. 

“Zuko.. I am so, so sorry. I don’t think any amount of apologies will be able to get how I feel across, but.. you didn’t deserve to go through that. No one deserves to go through that.” You took both of his hands, thankful for the warmth they provided. “Listen to me. Are you listening to me?” 

He gave a pained smile and nodded. “Yes, Y/N. I’m listening to you.” 

“You are not who you were in middle school. You are not who you were in high school. Okay? Your father is a horrible man, and you wouldn’t have done any of those things if it wasn’t for him. What you did when you were younger wasn’t okay, but the fact that you have so much remorse for it today proves that you’re a good person. Zuko, you are a good person, one of the best men that I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve only known you for a few months.” 

You were subconsciously rubbing calming circles into the back of his hands —  hands that were still holding yours — while you talked, but it was all Zuko could think about.  “I know you feel guilty about leaving your sister, but you did what you had to do to get out. You came back for her, and you’ve helped her get better. She’s grateful for it, Zuko, I know that much.” 

“Everyone else has forgiven you,” you murmured, staring deep into the fire he held in his eyes. “You deserve to forgive yourself.”

The silence that passed while you gazed into each other’s eyes felt like it lasted an eternity, when really it was only about a minute. Zuko was the first to break it, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at you as his words tumbled out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you at once.”

“It’s okay, Zuko, really. I understand; sometimes you just need to talk to somebody. You don’t know how much it means to me that you trusted me with all of that. And.. if we’re still baring our souls to each other, then I guess I have some things that you should know as well.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek; were you really about to tell Zuko about what happened? Most people knew that your mother was dead — killed in a drunk driving accident when you were ten — but you had never told anyone, not even your father or your siblings, about the full effect it had on you. But his eyes told you more than he ever could, and in that moment you knew it would be okay. You could trust him with something you had never trusted anyone else with.

“I’m sure you know that my mother died when I was young.” He nodded and you swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in your throat. “It was.. hard. Really hard, on all of us. It was just so unexpected that we didn’t know what to do. We didn’t really have any money to spare, so my dad had to keep working, and I had to take care of Sokka and Katara. I was only eleven, but I basically had to take over the ‘mom’ role. Our grandmother came down to take care of us so we wouldn’t just be a bunch of kids living on our own, but even with her and Katara’s help, it was still hard. Sokka and Katara had to grow up much faster than they should’ve, even though I tried to shield them as much as I could.” 

“It was.. a lot. I won’t lie to you, it was a lot. Maybe too much.” A mirthless laugh hung in the air and you had to blink back the tears threatening to spring. “My mother was.. amazing. She was the only one who truly got me, you know? She was just this— this beautiful spirit in the world, and she brought light wherever she went. And when she died, it left this.. huge, gaping hole in my heart, one that I’m still trying to fill. I- I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fill it. I thought as I got older it would be easier, but i-it’s not. The three of us joke around by calling Katara mom because of how she is, and they sometimes do it to me, and I know that’s all they are, jokes, but some part of it still hurts.” 

You were rambling now, spilling your soul to Zuko, going into the most mundane details that you had never told anyone. You had taken away the dam that had been holding back the waters of your emotions for so long, and now Zuko was going to drown in them. But you couldn’t stop.

“It’s the reason why I didn’t drive for so long. I didn’t want to, I was terrified of it because of what happened to my mother, but someone needed to be able to take Sokka and Katara around. And- and as I got older, and I started going to parties and people started drinking, I never did. I couldn’t, I was always the designated driver, because I couldn’t leave that in someone else’s hands. I had to be in control, because if I let someone go, then it was like I was killing my mother all over again, and it’s the reason why I always have to be the one driving—” 

You paused to take a deep breath, and as you looked down at your hands, you realized they were shaking. Not just your hands, but your entire body. What the hell were you doing? You let out a tearful laugh, covering your mouth with one hand and shaking your head. “God, I am so sorry, I— I don’t know what got into me.”

Zuko’s eyes never left yours, his own glassy, and he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Like you said, it helps to tell someone. A-and— I know how you feel, what it’s like feeling like you have to give up the world for your siblings. But you have to take care of yourself too. You’re not just what you can give to other people. You are your own person.”

He was thankful that you trusted him enough to tell you something like this about yourself, something that your own blood didn’t even know, but it also made him realize that you had always trusted him. 

Your point about driving. You liked to be in control so that if something did go wrong, there wouldn’t be any thoughts of what you could’ve done. If something happened, it was because of you and only you. And on your first day of classes, and many trips since, you had let him drive. It was something so small, so insignificant to anyone, but to you it was a sign of trust. 

You trusted him. 

“You’re shivering.” Your voice snapped Zuko back to reality and he shrugged, the smallest smile playing on his lips. 

“I wouldn’t be if someone had given me my jacket back,” he joked. You elbowed him in the chest and stood up, holding out your hand for him to take to help him up as well. Zuko took it and you ignored the butterflies that erupted, setting a steady pace as the two of you walked. 

“We should get back to the apartment. It’s late, and you need to sleep,” you chided. 

“You have bags the size of baseballs under your eyes. I think you need sleep just as much as I do.” 

“I’m special,” you shot back with a grin.

Yeah, you are, Zuko thought. 

The walk back to the apartment was shrouded in comfortable silence and intertwined hands, something that neither of you made any move to change.

~~~~~~~~

Soon enough you had gotten back to your rooms — such a small apartment meant that they were right next to each other — and as you turned on your heel to face him, a shy smile played on your lips. “Thank you. For, uh- coming after me. For listening to me.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. The two of you stood in silence for a while, and then Zuko reached out his hand. Your breath caught in your throat as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and the close proximity combined with the surprisingly intimate act caused your cheeks to heat up once more. It was like you were caught in a trance.

Your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips for just a moment, and you could’ve sworn that he did the same. The air between the two of you was crackling with unseen electricity, and before you could question yourself you were leaning forward. 

You felt him lean in as well as your eyes fluttered shut, and his lips ghosted over yours. Your eyes snapped open and you stared at him, your lips slightly parted in disbelief — he just kissed you. Zuko just kissed you. It was like time had stopped — and then it all came crashing down. His lips came back to yours with an intense fervor, cupping your face in his hands to get as close to you as possible.

It was bliss in the purest sense. You reciprocated immediately, tangling a hand in his dark hair, letting out a soft gasp as your back hit the wall. Despite how many times you had imagined this moment, nothing could compare to the real thing. It was passionate but gentle all the same, and the warmth that spread through your whole body was familiar — it was Zuko. 

Your mind was a jumbled mess. It was split a million different ways; one part suddenly very worried about how your hair looked, one hoping that Sokka and Aang couldn’t hear you, another that didn’t care, but most of them were just screaming about how oh my god you were kissing Zuko.

You knew your whole face was flushed when you finally pulled away, and the warmth of his lips lingered as the two of you stared at each other, breathing slightly labored. You tentatively reached out your hand and softly, carefully traced your finger over a part of his scar. He flinched at the contact instinctively, but you felt him relax and even lean into your touch. It meant more than you could ever say, especially knowing what you knew now. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured, your touch impossibly soft against the cracked skin of his scar. “And you’re stronger than anyone knows. Than you know.” 

You kissed him again, shorter and sweeter than the first but just as tender, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips against yours as he returned it. You smiled at him and pushed your door open behind you, equal parts nervous and exhilarated about what just happened. “Goodnight, Zuko,” you whispered, shining eyes never leaving his until you closed the door.  

As soon as you were in your room you turned around and leaned against the door, smiling to yourself like an idiot. Your hand ghosted over your cheek, the spot where his hands had been, and you sighed dreamily. You had no idea how you were going to be able to finish studying. 

This was definitely more than a small crush. 

~~~~~~~~~~

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