#so maybe i'm entirely wrong!!!!
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So. I had been listening to a song and thought, 'Huh. This is going on for a while, isn't it?" So I checked, and.... hm.
#I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD HAVE A 37 MINUTE SONG#WHAT THE FUCK DEFTONES????????????? also long tags i start rambling about random stuff. as I do.#listening to their sophomore album. not as much a fan of it as some of their other stuff but it's still fun#i've really enjoyed exploring their discography more#even though I don't pay much attention to the lyrics#some music is mostly about lyrics to me but others it's just vibes#this is vibes to me#it is good noise!!!!#rather than something I'd take time to really listen to on a lyrical level. no meaning I really care to pick apart as of right now#Their lyrics seem somewhat sparse and like separate trains of thought anyways rather than cohesive stories within a song#not a bad thing at all!!!!! I like it. just an observation#but again I am saying this after liking a few main songs and only just now diving deeper into the discography#so maybe i'm entirely wrong!!!!#but it is somewhat shattered and meandering rather than start to finish like your bluegrass. not the linear storytelling aspect to it#not at all to say they're meaningless though because they aren't#just a bit more vague or winding and fractured about how they deliver that meaning I guess.#but again I can vibe with that#i do think a lot of rock songs tend to put more emphasis on emotion and sensation over story but that's a whole thing i won't get into#partially because it's past 1 am#but also partially because I don't have the actual intelligence on the topic to back myself up. it's purely anecdotal#just something I noticed#which could very easily be skewed by the type of music I gravitate towards within the genre for all I know#but again. 1 am. not the time to dissect the theoretical... uh.. methodology i guess? of how I would go about measuring that.#it's soooo interesting but I am not well versed enough to really discuss it BUT I WANT TO BE#goddamn it I wish I had been more. uh. well in high school. I would have loved the analysis stuff#shakespeare actually is very fun to read!!!!! but that gets into a whole other thing i have about how schools tend to teach stuff like that#they suck the fun and theatrics out of it#and it's the fun and fascination that drives kids to want to pick it apart and think about it.#but again. whole other topic. goodnight i am cutting this off here before i keep going about random shit
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This Twitter MLP human redesign drama is a mess, leave me the fuck out of it.
#saw people posting my designs to put down other artists' designs saying that i'm the “correct way” of doing things#don't do that#i don't give a SHIT if people are redesigning these HORSES to be fat or “”“ugly”“” people they're all valid#this whole thing is so dumb just say “i don't like the art style” and move on#“hey op i spent 4 hours of time and effort to redraw your shitty redesign and show you how it's really done” you're fucking weird#you know that right? dedicating that much time to cash in on a hate trend when you could be creating something unique and original with lov#your insistence that human redesigns need to be attractive and symmetrical and anything deviating that is woke psy-op brainwashing#is fucking weird. saw an entire tweet reposting my designs listing off how i “got it right.” bullet point: “looks like real people”#the black fat pinkie design with braces that went viral looks more like a real person than any of my designs you asshole#or maybe you spent too much time in high school bullying people who look like that to notice#personal#delete later#do not use my art to belittle artists who've done nothing wrong this legit made me really angry today
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I have a question about the jp server pickups, since I really want knight Sebek, but I’m trying to save gems for bloom malleus + the 3rd tsum event that’s gonna show up sooner or later. Iirc, after knight Sebek, the next story update’s pickup had all of the previous story cards (ie cerberus Ortho, general Lilia, and knight Sebek). Is this true, and if it is, did it include a token system like the dorm pickups where you can just do 100 pulls and then buy the specific card you want directly? Because if that is how it works, then I can wait until then and be sure I won’t have to go to 200 for him.
we did indeed get a second chance at those three when 7-7 came out! I'm pretty sure there was not a token system -- though admittedly I don't 100% remember, sorry! 🙇 I took a quick search through some past posts/videos from people who tend to include the gacha and news stuff, but I didn't see any mention of it, so I'm inclined to think there really wasn't one. :( they were all separate pickups with their own pull counts rather than a combined one, if that info helps at all.
speaking as a strict f2p who hoards keys/gems like the lovechild of a dragon and a magpie, given the choice between saving for a story card and a birthday card, I'd go for story -- it does require a lot of patience, but there are way more opportunities to get past birthday cards, both from the anniversary events and the rerun pickups! tsums is a bit harder to say anything on because Eng doesn't follow the same event schedule, but it's a longish event and those pickups let you have a free 10-roll, so I think they're also a bit easier to save up for.
(ALSO speaking of free rolls, starting with the fifth round of birthdays -- the kutsurogi my room ones -- the birthday boy/union jacket/bloom cards have had a separate pickup that you can get two free 10-pulls at by doing missions! I got a bloom Jade from it a couple weeks ago. :D meanwhile general Lilia is the only story card I've ever managed to pull, so...I'm probably kinda biased. whoops.)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#joseimuke games are serious business#just speculating for a moment here#i could be completely wrong about all of this it's just me spitballin'#i suspect we WILL get a rerun pickup for the 7-7 and up story cards at some point#but probably not a third round of the diasomnia story boys :(#we never got a proper dorm rerun for them so i think we'll get that instead#but also that makes me wonder if we're going to maybe not get a story silver card after all...#because like#i realized earlier that since we've been getting main story drops pretty consistently every two months#(we had july + august in a row but september + october were for halloween so it averages out)#if we continue this way that means heartslabyul in january and return to diasomnia in march#which would be timed PERFECTLY for the fifth anniversary#it absolutely could just be a coincidence but. idk. i could see it being a fun place to end 7 on.#(i still think we're getting an episode 8 with grim. just. y'know. the TIMING)#but if that turns out to be true then there might not be time for a silver story card AND dorm reruns...#i mean i'm 100% talking out my butt here so i could be entirely wrong about all of it#(stay tuned for six months straight of training camp events and master chef reruns instead)#i just really want a silver story card okay#we've gotten so much silver angst and yet i demand MORE#unsuspecting anon: hey ego do you remember if there were tokens for the --#me: UUUURGH DELICIOUS SILVER TEARS#(sorry anon) (good luck with whoever you choose to pull for though! your taste in cards is excellent and i understand the dilemma 😭)
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"The podcast is about our neighbours being murdered." "Yeah, but you made it sound cozy."
That's it. That's the show.
#if ever two lines have summed up an entire show...#this one felt a bit all over the place but i LOVED it. i actually teared up at that convo between charles and doreen oh my god#i don't have a big age difference with my brother but still. siblings. you get it#i CAN'T BELIEVE the actors got it. they pointed out all the stuff people on here have been saying for ages!!! vindication!!!!!!!!!!#and i think they're right AND that this person that has been watching the trio since s1 is *one* person.#unsure about the westies and dudenoff. it might be a murder on the orient express situation but i don't buy that for some reason#this feels like a scheme but not a murder cover-up? maybe when dudenoff stopped responding to them they decided to keep up the illusion#and get his money so they could continue paying a low rent? idk it doesn't make sense to me that they would kill him#i'm not sure they even know that he's dead. but hey! what do i know! ive gotten plenty of things wrong this season#also loretta and oliver... OH my god i really thought they were through for a moment there my goodness#don't scare me like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so much in this one i didn't even mention THE DOLLS. or bev melon. oh my god so much#omitb#omitb spoilers#omitb s4
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one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
#pride and prejudice#jane austen#this is very obvious but it's in the narration itself#that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out#i also think the rational stuff is totally true and she would say that after as well but she would say it in a different way#idk i just love it. it's so subtle and it's so true#also very obvious?? i feel like i'm making a very obvious point#but anyway 'elizabeth's feelings soon rising to playfulness etc. etc.'#also this is why i hated the end of a civil contract actually#i felt like she was tamping it all down and for some reason it just made me SO mad#like no. it's supposed to OVERFLOW NOW#adam being like 'and in the end the rational choice was jenny' sir i will FIGHT YOU IN THE PARKING LOT#idk i was student teaching and very emotional at the time maybe i missed something and read it wrong#but my entire spirit REBELED#like. how honestly DARE#i'm avoiding grading can you tell#yes you can I will go now
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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My Neekeys over the last two-odd years. I was curious to see the changes 🤔
#forgive the low quality dfghfds it was just an experiment#now to do the DRAW ANYONE ELSE challenge#siggy draws#he is my blorbo. my muse. i guess#don't get me wrong. i am CRINGING and SWEATING at just the thought of uploading this.#have i been drawing almost every day my entire life? yes. does my style still change all the time? yes!#and i'm mostly self-taught so i struuuuggle a lot. i'll finally admit that reference pictures help immensely. no shit lol.#i learned a lot in the last 2 years!!! there are some really ugly ones i didn't show but i kept the cringe old ones sdfghfds help.#i mean they're still here on tumblr so i can't exactly hide them#you can kind of see when i actually started to use reference pictures. and when i got more used to using a tablet#idk digital art is so hard. it's a whole other world. but i'm in it now and haven't drawn traditionally in forever#i can also literally see how i used to CRUSH my nibs while drawing. all those really thin lines?? i pressed too hard lol#i've actually kept all my nibs since i started drawing digitally and....... it's too many fghfds#that one slightly more realistic nicky in the bottom right of the first collage lmaooo. i should finish him... maybe... it's haaard.#the top right on the first collage and bottom right on the second one are good comparisons ;_; they're both pirate!nico gifts for lily!!#i'm feeling sentimental now omg
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can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)
i'm sure it'll be fine. :D
i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3
#tim: he WON'T show up okay?? and if he did i'd be FINE. dick thinks i'm gonna fall on my face if i do anything on my own ever#dick: that is not true!! that is NOT what i said stop putting words in my mouth#tim: i literally watched this entire city by myself for FOUR YEARS and don't say bruce was here because lots of the time he wasn't#dick: listen i am JUST SAYING that last year you almost DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH a lot#dick: and i personally rescued you from near-death experiences & you were not exactly helpful or forthcoming#dick: so sue me if i'd just like to clarify that i will at least get a PHONE CALL if something goes wrong#dick: as opposed to OH I DON'T KNOW you go off to fight jason or ra's al-ghul behind my back and then you almost DIE#dick: and i have to go chasing after you AFTER THE FACT because you didn't bother to explain to me the stupid thing that you were gonna do#tim: that was NOT stupid and -- i KNEW you were still mad at me about that --#dick (unconvincingly): i'm not mad at you (more convinced) YOU'RE still mad at ME --#tim (unconvincingly): no i'm not. (more convinced) look i get it you obviously think that i suck which fine WHATEVER --#dick: i never said that and i'm just asking for the basic professional courtesy of a heads-up!! the city's my responsibility so -#tim: i know you're on a power trip about this but gotham is actually MY city too so --#dick: excuse me i am NOT on a power trip. i'm BATMAN which means that --#tim: you sure are#dick: oh don't even go there - let me point out that ONE of us is being an uncommunicative jerk and it ISN'T ME --#tim: you are literally trying to micromanage how i do a milk run that i could do backwards with my eyes blindfolded --#dick: i'm not micromanaging!! nightclubs can be -- i have a NORMAL degree of CONCERN okay so --#tim: -- so either you're lying to me or you think i suck; how exactly am i supposed to tell you stuff if you don't trust me -#dick: what?! i trust you!!! i just --#tim: you just DON'T trust me??#dick (trapped): i trust you. i'm just saying. if for example the joker -#tim (defensive): who i could handle#dick: or jason -#tim: who i could also handle!!! try to be a little less condescending maybe#dick: oh come ON. look you're obviously kinda testy about me going out of town which fine whatever but i'm just trying to -#tim (testily): i'm not testy. what does that even mean 'testy'
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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tøp: mtv unplugged will always be so special to me because it actually shows how fucking talented those guys are
#you know how big of a fan i am and still they left me speechless#i still remember watching it for the first time ever#i was actually holding my breath the entire time because tyler was so nervous at the beginning and i was scared cause#what if something goes wrong#but nope#it was fucking perfect#one of their best performance ever and some of my favourite tyler's vocals and also singing josh and all those instruments and and and-#seriously guys it's just 40min long but it changed my fucking life#you may say twenty one pilots is not a good band (referring to my last anon)#i would say maybe their music is not your thing but you CAN'T say they are not good or not talented#just fucking watch it#it will change your mind#(also to those who think i only listen to tøp because tyler is hot)#(he's actually the most talented guy ever but oh well)#alright i am going to sleep i can barely even see anything i'm pretty sure i made at least one typo somewhere here i'm exhausted bye#twenty one pilots#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife
#simon petrikov#original#at#the moment where she declares that she's jumping into the future to save him. just pure save-husband impulse#and maybe she made the wrong choice but I felt the emotion in my gut and that's good tragedy baby#I would do the same thing and then be in the future and realize I probably fucked up but also what else could I do but#devote my entire life and sanity to saving her after I have destroyed every other option??#it's not healthy necessarily but a fucking apocalypse happened and her wife is in eternal torment. what else could she possibly do??#I'm just obsessed with the attitude she has towards saving him and how it turns from joyful heroism to unhealthy obsession#I have a much healthier relationship with my wife. but also she's never been driven mad by a magical crowd for a thousand years!#and Betty did it!! y'all can argue about whether Ice King was better than Simon and I think he must make peace with every part of himself#but it is extremely consistent in the original series that being Ice King is basically this existentially horrifying Eternal torture#so the fact that someone who loved him decided they would save him from that at all costs is very sad and very beautiful#beautiful because no one deserves to suffer forever. tragic because she was far to willing to take his place if she had to.#betty grof#fionna and cake#golbetty#golb#*driven mad by a magical crown#you forgot your floaties#edit: upon rewatching every episode with betty in it i will say i don't think i would be so hellbent on murdering the person she had become#betty does act selfishly and it makes her character more compelling#but i like to think if my wife went banana-pants ice-king-level bonkers i would be able to love that version of her too#but who's to say whether this story would be the reason I responded differently?#it's a good story
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hey israel lovers why r you arguing so desperately the semantics of what an ethnostate is and who the land belongs to when we all fucking know that killing people is Bad
#hey why r we still talking about the terrorist organization because last time i checked terrorists attacks aren't a justification to kill an#entire race of people#“i agree that the genocide is bad” and yet you refuse to focus on fighting to stop the genocide and focus on bullshit#you guys can try to argue about politics and religion once israel isn't KILLING AN ENTIRE COUNTRY ANYMORE#mumblings//#it's so funny bc I read the posts and I'm like maybe I'm wrong. maybe they're right. and then I remember literally nothing they fucking say#will justify the genocide#even if somehow the land did magically belong to them for some fucking reason it still doesn't justifies killing everyone#even if palestine was full of bigoted asshole that still is not a justification for GENOCIDE ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELVES#holy fuck what is wrong with these people
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hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
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do you ever just forget that being nonbinary is an option I was agonising over my gender for a tad because I didn't want either option and then I remember ah right. You can do that free of charge.
#[.txt]#'oh but i do not feel connected to either of the Two Binary Options i wish something could fix this ah well maybe I'm just unhappy forever'#my sibling in christ you can do without it entirely!! Why are you doing this to yourself!#like I am at a point where I'm not particularly bothered with how people percieve me#because well. yeah they may not percieve me as nb but they don't percieve magically my personality either#so does it matter that they get this bit wrong? They are getting everything wrong anyways#(shaking myself by the shoulders) Agenderism Upon Yee#like biblical angels. How it has been since I was six
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Who is Percy chasing in the Lotus Casino and why do I feel like it could be Mr. D?
#i have no idea why he would be there but...#they do seem to change that scene almost entirely with hermes already being there so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility#and correct me if i'm wrong but I think dionysus appears at a casion in one of the later books?#so it would make sense?#maybe i am totally wrong idk#percy jackson#pjo tv#rick riordan#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo
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