#so maybe i'm entirely wrong!!!!

[torchickentacos]

So. I had been listening to a song and thought, 'Huh. This is going on for a while, isn't it?" So I checked, and.... hm.

[bixels]

This Twitter MLP human redesign drama is a mess, leave me the fuck out of it.

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

"The podcast is about our neighbours being murdered." "Yeah, but you made it sound cozy."

That's it. That's the show.

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” 

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

[non-un-topo]

My Neekeys over the last two-odd years. I was curious to see the changes 🤔

[silverwhittlingknife]

can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)

i'm sure it'll be fine. :D

i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

[pardonmydelays]

tøp: mtv unplugged will always be so special to me because it actually shows how fucking talented those guys are

[giantkillerjack]

Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife

[anglerflsh]

do you ever just forget that being nonbinary is an option I was agonising over my gender for a tad because I didn't want either option and then I remember ah right. You can do that free of charge.

[son-of-natalie]

Who is Percy chasing in the Lotus Casino and why do I feel like it could be Mr. D?

[softquietsteadylove]

Love that broken up au. Maybe we can get some more? 🥹

love your works.🫶🏻

"Wow, it really looks the same."

It felt the same, watching Gil walk into Seri's old flat. It was hers now, but it felt just like when they used to all spend time together. Of course, it wasn't just her breakup with Gil which had put a damper on that. Sersi and Ikaris' split had been far more damaging.

Perhaps that was part of why Thena had always wanted to keep her split with Gil as civil as possible. Despite it being the single most devastating event of her life.

"I like what you've done with it, though," he smiled, pointing at some of the small additions she'd made, things on the wall or little historical things on the shelves.

She smiled, hanging up her coat, "thanks. You know how to make yourself at home."

"Sure," he tossed over his shoulder, slipping his hands in his jeans pockets as he drifted aimlessly into the living room.

Thena bent to get her heels off. She smiled; Gil had taken off his boots and carefully lined them up with the rest of her shoes on the doormat. It was nothing short of heartwarming, and that was not what she needed to be feeling at the moment.

They were two friends--just two people, reconnecting. It didn't have to be more than that. She had kissed him, and then he had gone and really kissed her back. But she shouldn't have. They weren't here to get back together.

But she had missed him. Seeing him in front of her again made her feel it in her bones how much she had missed everything about him. It was like seeing the glow of home after being away in the dark and cold.

Gil turned back to her, hovering in the middle of the room, wondering what she would do.

She tried not to seem like she was fidgeting as she moved sideways into the kitchen. "Have a seat. Do you want tea--or coffee?"

"You have coffee?" he asked immediately.

She rifled needlessly in her tea jar, facing away from him. "I may not drink it, but everyone else does."

It was a good enough excuse. And it kept her from having to admit that it was because she associated the smell of it with him, and every once in a while she would unseal the airtight container just for a smell of it. Because that would not be the behaviour of someone who was completely over her ex-boyfriend.

She put the kettle on, scooping some coffee for Gil and tea for herself. "You still drink it black?"

"Yep," he grinned back at her. He sat himself on the far end of her couch, leaning against the armrest. "Brings back memories, huh?"

Perhaps too many. But if he could reminisce about happier times then so could she (she decided). She left the kettle to boil and moved into the living room with him. "It certainly does."

"I remember when Sersi first got this place," Gil chuckled, crossing his arms and angling himself towards her at the other end. "All of us helping her move in."

"It was quite a day," Thena smiled at the memory. She could recall flashes of them all together, making light work of things, helping before things became complicated and their careers had completely consumed some of their lives. "I knew Ikaris was disappointed that she asked us to help as well."

"Guy was so obvious," Gil shook his head, rolling his eyes. He snorted, "gave me and Druig attitude all day because of it."

"That does rather sound like him," Thena lamented about her cantankerous brother. Not that she could claim to be any less unpleasant.

"I'm glad she stayed in this place," Gil added somewhat more sullenly, "after they split."

Their breakup had been...messy. There was an animosity there that hadn't escaped any of their friend group, no matter how much Sersi had attempted to keep their private affairs private. "I am too. I told him he was lucky I didn't kill him myself, but Sersi always insisted it wasn't his fault."

Gil scoffed, as did she. He turned himself more towards her, even scooched closer to her on the couch. "Did he ever tell you...?"

"No," she shook her head. It was no lie, if he had, she would have told Gil at least. "He still maintains they simply drifted apart until there was no repairing it. Unfortunately, I am well aware that he can keep things to himself to such a degree that he even he forgets then."

She was like that too.

But Gil didn't point any fingers. He shrugged one of his massive shoulders, "We've all got our own stuff to sort out. Maybe it was best for them that they did it apart from each other."

That was what they had ultimately decided for themselves, too--that there was too much else consuming them to give their relationship the care and time it deserved. She scooched closer to him as well. "I agree."

"But hey, I like Dane," Gil brightened again, hoping to draw up the mood. "Seems like a nice guy, maybe kind of quiet."

She smiled. She did like Dane, and he seemed like a good match for Sersi--so good she was ready to move in with someone for the first time since Ikaris. "Everyone is quiet standing next to you."

Gil laughed from his belly. On her bad days, she would wonder why it was always so loud. Now, she yearned to hear more of it. "Guilty, but I don't think that's it. He's more...thoughtful, like he really thinks about what he says before he says it."

She laughed faintly, unable to resist Gil's natural, easy charisma. "I have found that as well. Dane is considerate in a way I don't think my brother is capable."

She sometimes wondered if she was capable of it.

"You seen her lately--Sersi?" Gil asked, moving closer again. She did the same, merely to hear him better. "I haven't gotten to catch up with her since - probably - a few months ago?"

"I saw her a week ago, maybe two," Thena confirmed. They were approaching the line between the two long cushions which composed her modestly sized sofa. She didn't know what would happen when they met in the middle. "She's doing well. Her classroom is already decorated for the coming holidays."

"It's almost two months away!" Gil squawked, but then laughed again, offering her ears a deserved enrichment. "I should have known, she loves that stuff."

She did. Sersi was much like Gil in how warm they were and the gentle nature their hearts shared. Thena had often wondered how a sweet soul like Sersi had ended up with her adamant and immovable twin brother. When she got together with Gil, she had to wonder the same thing, but no longer wanted the answer.

"Even the children have told her it's too early," she added, recalling the devastation on Sersi's face even just recounting the story. "She's handled the transition from younger children to pre-teens well, though."

"Dane teaches sixth, right?" Gil asked, to which she nodded. "She won't admit it, but I still think she agreed to teach a higher grade because her new class would be across the hall from Dane's."

That was exactly the reason. She had drunkenly confessed it to her and Makkari late one girls' night. But Thena kept her lips sealed, in the metaphorical sense, "I suppose we'll never know."

"I'll get it out of her one day," he shrugged. He had always been somewhat of an older brother type within their friend group. It had always been something she admired about him. Even as an only child, he had a strong sense of protectiveness. It had always been attractive to her. "Thena?"

"Hm?"

"Water's boiling," he pointed.

As soon as he did, she realised the water was, in fact, screaming throughout the apartment. She rushed to take it off the burner, alarmed that she hadn't been aware of it in the slightest.

She poured it over their drinks, trying to calm her flustered heart. There was no reason for her to be so unnerved--they were just two old...companions. They were catching up, convalescing in a friendly way. There was nothing on the line, here.

But then why did she feel she had so much more to lose?

After making sure her hands weren't shaking, she picked up the mugs and padded back to the coffee table. She set hers down first. She smiled again; Gil had pulled out coasters for both of them. When he had developed these habits was beyond her. "And for you."

"Thanks." His hands rose to accept the mug from her. He didn't have to, and she almost told him not to let his hands get burned. But he had always shown off how much endurance his hands really had. He let his palm take the bottom of the mug while his fingers brushed against hers to secure the handle.

She had once asked if he still had the sensation of touch in his hands, and then he had proven to her that he very much did.

She rushed to sit down again, avoiding a look that she really doubted he gave all of his friends. She cleared her throat, reaching for her mug. "So, you hired some new help at the restaurant?"

He puffed through his nose, the steam from his coffee bending from it. He gulped down the boiling hot liquid without so much as blinking. "Yeah--finally, I mean. It's nice to have the extra help, and they're actually pretty decent at things."

"Hm," she offered lightly. She also took a sip, mostly to occupy her hands and her mouth. Her tongue got terribly burned from the heat of it but she kept quiet. "Did you ever hear from the friends you abandoned the other night?"

When they had run into each other and spontaneously gotten a late night coffee and then kissed?

"Yeah, they gave me some shit for it, but whatever," he waved off easily, taking more sips steadily. "I mean I'm not a young, dumb twenty-something. I don't think I even like partying with those guys anymore, they're just the only ones my schedule could actually align with."

Because they were always up for going out and getting drunk, their own jobs be damned. They didn't have early morning prep, or classes, or papers to edit.

"Did you mention," Thena paused, wondering if even asking the question was really a good idea. She shifted in her seat somewhat. They were awfully close to that line between them. "Running into me?"

Gil also looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, I, uh, just said I ran into a friend."

"Hm," she nodded, trying to disguise her anxious habit of playing with her hair by looking back into the kitchen. "Maybe for the best."

"Yeah," he moved that final last bit. he was all but sitting on the crack between the cushions, now. "Uh, Thena..."

"Maybe-"

"Would you-"

They both blurted it out at the same time, again. She set her mug down, although it left her hands vulnerable. She clasped them together. "Sorry, you go."

He chuckled, reaching for her hand. "Look, I don't...really know what this is either."

Her heart hammered.

"But that's okay, right? We don't have to figure that out right away?" He asked her genuinely, looking hopeful, although she wasn't sure what answer he really wanted.

She wanted to be cynical and believe this was his way of not wanting to label things despite their complicated history. Perhaps that failed relationship of his hadn't been his last foray into dating. Meanwhile she hadn't managed to conjure a single warm feeling for anyone but the man in front of her.

But she also didn't know what this meant for them. And she wasn't ready for him to find out that he was still the greatest love of her life, and that she had been prepared to bear that knowledge for the rest of her single life.

"Right," she agreed, although she sounded breathless. He had a point, though. She also wouldn't know what to say about them seeing each other, no matter in what capacity. They weren't getting back together, but she wouldn't say they were denying that it could happen either. At least, she wasn't, but she also couldn't afford to let her hopes get too high.

"Okay then," he smiled. It was so warm, and he always spoke so softly with her. His hand laid over hers more heavily, squeezing her fingers. "Is this okay?"

She nodded, and tilted her head up into the gentle kiss. For people not getting back together, the number of times they had kissed was getting awfully high. But she couldn't help but savour them, seeing how she didn't have the power to resist them anyway.

[izzy-b-hands]

Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao

[cattatoir]

I think I have unpopular Sandman takes bc I'm usually on his side