#so maybe i sleep now. and then work later

[retiredteabag]

Uncle sukuna

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

Uncle Sukuna hates children and that just makes kids like him more.

They are practically magnetized to the man.

If he was being honest, he's really just afraid of hurting them, that and he has no idea how to handle a crying child. So, he avoids them at all cost.

Sometimes there's just nothing he can do though, especially when a little monster like his nephew is napping on his chest.

Which he does frequently.

Sukuna would be mean. Straight up telling the kid he was annoying. Yuuji would almost never care.

Almost.

“Don’t even think about it you little brat.” Sukuna would protest, seeing Yuuji crawling across the sofa. “Nu uh. No. Get your sticky little hands off of me!”

But eventually he would have to give in, rolling his eyes as Yuuji found his place- drooling over Sukuna’s shoulder.

Sukuna was also the type to say no and never mean it.

“Can we watch my show kuna?”

“No.”

Five minutes later? They’re smooshed together watching Yuuji’s stupid cartoon.

“Uncuna… can you help with my math homework please?”

“No.”

The next second Sukuna is in full tutor mode.

You might think that he’s the type to make a kid cry over their geometry work, but he is typically more patient than expected.

“Kuna can you make me some cinnamon toast?”

“No.”

“Pleaseeeee?????”

“No, Yuuji.” He’s firm.

Yuuji knows he’s getting that toast.

Sukuna has a love hate relationship with the kid. For Yuuji, it’s just love. That’s why, on the rare occasion, Sukuna might be just a little too rough on him.

It would likely be after a long day, maybe he worked late, maybe he had to deal with a rude person, maybe he didn’t sleep well. Whatever the case, the tattooed man would have an already short fuse when he walked in the door.

Unaware of his bad mood, Yuuji would flip around on the sofa, hearing the key turn in the door.

“KUNA!!!”

Yuuji would bound off the couch, racing for his uncle. Sukuna would sigh and roll his eyes as the boys grubby little hands encircled his leg.

“Kuna kuna! I had a presentation at school today! And I did a really good job because everybody clapped at the end like this-“ the boy smacks his hands together over and over, a big smile on his face, “I was so nervous but now that it’s all over, I wish I could do it again! It was so fun! I can’t wait for my next presentation-“

“Oh my gosh Yuuji will you shut up? I really do not care about your school project.” Sukuna would know the second it left his mouth it wouldn’t be true.

Yuujis little arms would fall away from his uncle. A frown would cover his face. “O-oh okay.” He would stumble back, watching his uncles face.

Sukuna would groan inwardly. Knowing he had been too harsh. He never actually minded hearing about his nephews day, he was just overstimulated and now he felt awful. The little boy was holding up a strong facade but his lip wobbled. The man would sigh.

“Ugh, Yuuji, I’m sorry kid, that was wrong of me-“

“No.” The boy would sniffle, “s’okay. M’sorry for making you mad.”

Oh, now Sukuna might as well walk into oncoming traffic.

He sighs, “No, Yuuji, you didn’t do a thing wrong. Don’t apologize for anything, alright?” He would run a hand through his cropped pink hair, “listen, I’m glad your presentation went well, that’s good, how about we go get dinner after I wash up, whatever ya want.”

Yuujis eyes would widen, a big grin coming back, “Yeah?!” Sukuna would sigh at the kids forgiving nature.

“Yeah, kid, I’m starved.”

Yuuji would bounce up and down, then, without a moment’s hesitation, throw himself around his uncles leg.

Sukuna would pat the boys hair, cursing himself for being so short with the kid.

And after being so annoyed just a second ago, after watching Yuuji race off to change his clothes, Sukuna realized he had forgotten what had ruined his day to begin with.

Cute little brat.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Burn Out

I would. Absolutely do the cast but. Consider. The casts parents instead.

Also as you can probably guess, I'm feeling burnt out so my writing may not be as good as it usually is but fuck it we ball. Yes I will be using headcanon names for the Cast Parents because. um. I can.

Family Headcanons here if you want to read.

Also there's no Diasomnia except for Sebek. Sorry. Don't attack me please I beg OTL NO SPOILERS PLEASE OTL ----------------------------------------

Dr. Carlotta Rosehearts is not the type of woman to be easily impressed. Burn out is something only the weak experience, though if you weren't raised by her, she can hardly blame YOU for your poor constitution. While she's not all that sympathetic, she can find a small, easy task for you to complete to feel like you've been productive, useful, and otherwise intelligent.

Dr. Lawson Hatter, Riddle's estranged (engineer) father couldn't be any MORE experienced with burn out. He's awkward, he's odd, but his antics are sure to put a smile on your face. He can spot someone trying to work through burn out easily - not in his house baby, he's spinning that chair around and away from the desk, you're coming to get snuggled up and watch a movie with him and his kid(s). He'll make you tea (or coffee if you want it), a bunch of snacks, and promises to help you with your work later. Right now is time to let that all go and let your brain be mush for a bit. It's okay.

Amelia and Tarrant Clover - they're a little burnt out constantly themselves, but there's always room at the table for one more. Their home is only a good option if you like little kids though, because they WILL treat you like you're their big sibling almost immediately. They don't mean to come off as a little uncanny, but they genuinely do love having guests so much. Be prepared for So. Much. Food. If you can't really handle the hubbub of the family, that's okay too. Amelia will invite you to join her for her evening prep. She has a way of making you let all those feelings come out when it's just the two of you, and by the time you're done crying, she's got fresh banana bread and hot chocolate in front of you, with a pat on the back. She'll hug you if you want it too.

The Diamond couple have way too much tension between them to be of much help to you. Cater's older, but not eldest, sister, Catrina, is rather reserved and quiet when she's allowed to be. She'd be the one to take you into her room, do your hair, maybe some aromatherapy and tai chi. She's learned a lot of ways to relax over the years, she's just happy to share it with someone who is too exhausted to be fake with her. willing to let her help.

Dylla Spade hi, hello, did you want to make a top three guardians list? Dylla is there, promise. There is no overworking in her house. She can appreciate the dedication, but 1. you are actively harming yourself, 2. you should never work that hard in a workplace, why are you doing it for free /hj. She'll try to interrupt once or twice with the bribe of a small snack, or with going out somewhere, but if you're stubborn she's got to pull out the big guns. Big guns being she puts a photo of baby Deuce on the desk next to you and tells you if you want to know the story you're going to stop, go take a shower to give your brain a transition period out of work and go meet her in the kitchen. She's not the best cook but by god you know everything she gave you she gave with love.

Jack Trappola-Hearts is not Ace's dad, (ew, says Ace in the back of my mind), but his big brother. He's got a humble, somewhat dated one-bedroom apartment. He'll sleep on the couch though, so you can have the bed. (If Ace is there, Jack will sleep on the floor). He likes keeping you entertained and smiling, so he'll take you around town to (free) but fun areas. He doesn't expect you to verbally respond if you don't want to, and if you need to, he'll happily create a way for you to communicate when you're ready to go home. He'll keep you distracted from your responsibilities and burdens until he knows you can tackle them full force again.

Falena Kingscholar has a BIG and BRIGHT personality. He means the best, but he can sometimes be a little insensitive to your efforts, (as he was to his brother). He's also very busy and repressing his own burn out and Other Emotions, but don't fret. Kifaji will look after you. He's careful to not hover, but he always pops in with exactly what you need. He can't be as attentive as he would like, but he does know where the younger prince used to sneak off for naps. He may or may not drop a hint or two as to where those places are, and he may or may not have made sure to set the area up with soft lighting, music, blankets and curtains to give you some elevated sense of privacy without being overwhelmed by your surroundings (hopefully).

Vovó Bucchi (yes I borrowed a headcanon name provided by @kamiraaah (sorry for the tag, if you want it removed lmk!! ^^) can't help but make fun of you a tiny bit, but it's all just to remind you that hard work is meant to be rewarded. Hard work is meant to be balanced out with something else. While you're clearly bright, you're apparently not bright enough to realize when you need a break on your own /lh. She'll ask you to tell her about the things you HAVE accomplished over the past month while cooking food for the family, (and yes, having you be her taste tester all through out it), and wait til you're done to ask what you've done to motivate yourself to keep going. If you've got nothing, she's going to tell you to come home with Ruggie at the end of every other week. Yes, home. You're hers now. Good luck escaping custody.

Citlali and Ande Howl couldn't be more opposite in how they try to help you through burn out. Citlali is just a 4'2 ball of energy and affection, you best believe she's got hugs for days, homemade quilts to pile on you, a hot chocolate she meant to give you about 40 minutes ago but forgot while she was rambling, (she'll heat it back up), a child to hand you - wait, no that's going to her husband, that's not your responsibility. She'll talk your EARS off, but you come to love it. Ande is much more stoic, a little intimidating to some, and very awkward. Mans does not know how to come off as friendly. He offers a hug if you need it. Best hug of your life. He will also show you where you can go to brood get a breath of fresh air and relax.

Clara and Ginerva "Nonna" Ashengrotto (you MAY NOT call Nonna anything but Nonna. Only Nonna's friends can call her Ginny, and 'Ms. Ashengrotto' is her daughter.) Clara and her mom are both all too familiar with the dangers of burn out. You get burnt out, you make bad decisions, bad decisions lead to trouble down the road and honey you do not need to make your life any more complicated than it already is. Sit down, stuff your face, listen to jazz, be happy. Basic rules. Your plate will not be allowed to be empty, be prepared to probably eat so much you pass out, which will be the one and only bad decision you make that day, but it's better than Nonna asking why you ain't eatin' her cooking. If you do get too full, don't worry, they'll tease but they'll pack up what's left and the other 27 meals they prepared for you to take home. (Nonna is partially deaf so you will have to raise your voice a bit so she can hear you clearly).

guysguysguysguysguysguysguysguys it's my favourite next do you know who's my favourite I know who's my favourite I literally wrote this just so I could write for her do you know who's my favourite fuck YEAH YOU DO

Valeria Leech (and her husband I guess but I'm pretending Constantine Leech is not there because I want to focus on the queen that is Mama Fucking Leech)(He would be kind of detached anyways he doesn't know you and he doesn't owe you nothin', his wife just said he wasn't allowed to eat you). ANYWAYS. Mama Leech has a lot of energy, Floyd had to get it from somewhere and it is absolutely from his mama. While she can be a little all over the place, clearly her boys appreciate you if they went through the effort to bring you to her, and that means um. You're her kid now too. She will treat you like she treats her sons. This means an overwhelming amount of physical touch (she will tone down if asked or if her husband reminds her that not everyone is comfortable with that), a lot of food being offered to you, you get the (second) best bed in the house, she has already bought you new clothes- ordering on land clothes, but also things tourists to the Coral Sea would wear. Because how can you expect to overcome burn out when you're stuck in a rut and nothing has changed. You need a good sleep schedule, a good meal, and a way to feel fabulous about yourself. And probably a hug and a good cry session. And maybe a hobby to let out all that steam, do you want to learn to fight hand to hand or do you want to collect tiny glass figurines, she'll buy the same subscription as she has if you want she LOVES little glass figurines they're cute and delicate just like elvers are. She will cry when you have to go back to land, promise her you'll call her if you need her for anything. Whether it's a hug or hiding a body. She's got your back. Also in the top 3 mama's tbh but I'm very very very biased but I also still think I'm right.

Akram al Asim is a little lost on what to do, but Kalim cares about you, so so does he. He doesn't really know what to do on an emotional basis, so he gives you money and tells you that if staying in the palace is too much, you're welcome to go stay in one of their private mansions instead. And if you need more money to just ask. So staying at "home" and having someone cook and clean for you while you get to do nothing is a 10/10 way to help burn out. He does not know how to help people that are stubborn or reject his gift unfortunately, he just kinda stands there like a deer in the headlights, then just welcomes you to stay in his home as long as you like. (This is a bad idea, you're a friend of Kalim's and given the family dynamics we know about you may very well be used as leverage, um. yeah. That's not very cash money.)

Nasir and Amani Viper can offer their home and to share dinner with you, but they are kept busy all day. They can recognize burn out - they've seen it in their son, and experienced it themselves, but they've never gotten a break to work through it. They'll tell you to rest, to eat, to make yourself at home, but it's a little awkward to relax when everyone around you is working.

Eric Venue oh dear. oh dear, oh dear oh dear. Burn out is a killer of creativity darling, and we simply cannot have that. Again, not someone who can help all that much directly, he'll toss a little money at you and get you into a luxurious spa to get you to relax again, to rejuvenate your skin and your mind. Also concerned for your mental health and MAY have paid off a therapist to become your friend so you'll never know you're receiving therapy throughout the entire thing, you'll cry, you'll let that out, and you'll never see that friend again. But you don't know that yet and for now you feel better!

The Hunts fall into the bottom category of parents. Ibis Hunt, Rook's next eldest sister (bc I think the Hunt's named their kids after birds), will try her best. She practically raised Rook, so she knows what a good night out by the campfire can do, campfire dinner, marshmallows, a couple goofy songs on the guitar, and a horror story if you think you can handle it. She'll keep your mind off of things.

Meemaw (Marja) Felmier can and will bop you over the head with her cane if she sees you trying to work when you clearly can't anymore. "You're so worn slap out y'ain't got 'nother ounc'a thinkin' in there. Y'got a hankerin' for somethin'? I'll fix it up right quick. Come on now, carryin' on on an empty stomach ain't gonna fix y'problems." She purposely has you sit on the comfiest chair on the house, layers you up in blankets, gives you a stuffy and warm apple cider because she KNOWS you're gonna pass right out. And when you wake up, there will be Marja's famous apple crumble with homemade vanilla ice cream waiting for you, trust.

Dr. Isla and Rodian Shroud are HUGE advocates for self care, but know sometimes it takes another person to pull you away from what's frustrating you. Isla will GLADLY take you on in a gaming competition - and she might even take it easy on you. And you'll hear her full Aussie accent come out any time you over take her in the equivalent of Mario Kart. Rodian is much more likely to be subtle in the way he helps, asking you to come assist on a project. Idle prattle turns into a deeper conversation that lets you open up to him, and the simple tasks he gives you to make you feel like you're being useful help a lot too. If you do end up crying, he'll offer a hug, and then a place to sleep off the rest of the emotions. You'll wake up to a 3D printed figurine of your favourite animal, cookies, and a thermos that kept the milk cold. The last of the Mom top 3 imo. (Mom's do not include grandma's btw thus the exclusion of Vovo and Marja /lh)

Baul Zigvolt okay listen. Modern day? I can't help imagine him with a big beer belly and a laugh to match. He's lost all the intensity he had in chapter 7 (thus far, no spoilers please lol). If you're feeling burnt out, he's giving you food the way he would have given it to baby Sebek - he's still adjusting to humans, so forgive him for cutting everything up so small, but hey, hopefully you won't choke? And some water. He's got a lovely voice, so with your permission, he'll read to you or tell you stories from when he and Lilia were younger - or if you really want it, he'll sing you to sleep...that's his goal anyways. He will not let you sleep in though LMAO, you went to bed early, get ready to be up at the crack of dawn lol.

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Anyways, thanks for reading my Partially Coherent Ramblings. Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist

@my-cursed-brain @fluffle-writes @distant-velleity @starry-night-rose @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @lumdays @nemisisnemi

[chaotic-orphan]

Intoxicating Fear (XXVIII)

Part one // MASTERPOST // continued from here

Haha— this part is shit and all over the place, but it is published today!!! So there ya go🙂‍↕️ some whumpy stuff, the end is crap— yeah, idk, it will be edited at some point 🤷🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️

*~*~*~*~*

Kit really needed to pee. Like he really needed to go, but here he was, still handcuffed to the headboard of the bed, and every possible position he tried to get into to unbutton his pants didn’t work out so he was sitting on the bed like a bold child and trying not to think about how much he really needed to pee.

Because it was verging on the edge of painful.

The sun had fallen since Jude had tried to strangle him and get his revenge. Ambrose must have left a few hours ago, and Kit was hungry and tired, but not tired enough to sleep.

And fuck… he really needed the toilet.

So eventually his organs overclouded by his better judgement and he reached out for Ambrose.

Psssttt… Dickhead.

Nothing. Kit stared at the wall ahead of him and shifted his position a little on the bed.

Psssst… Omenbitch.

Still nothing. Was Ambrose ignoring him? The fucking nerve of this guy!

HEY! Kit thought louder. YOU PIECE OF SH—

WHAT?!

Kit physically recoiled at the anger and deafening reply Ambrose shot him.

Kit… Ambrose said, and Kit could picture him sighing. Sorry, what do you want?

I need to piss.

Then piss.

On the floor?

Why not?

I’m not a fucking untrained dog for one, arsehole!

Well that is debatable.

You are such a dickhead.

For fuck’s sake, Nathan boomed in Kit’s mind and Kit’s ears rang from the sheer intensity of his voice. Nathan didn’t master the same control Ambrose did. He didn’t grow up with the gift, just appropriated it. What are you two arguing about?

I need to piss, Kit said at the same time that Ambrose said, he needs to piss.

Then piss.

Kit let out a frustrated sigh and stomped his foot on the ground.

Actually… Nathan continued. Hmm, Kit, perhaps you can piss and join us for dinner. I’ll have Jude fetch you.

Wait— Kit thought but winced as an invisible hand grabbed his head and slammed it back against the wall to cut him off. Kit hissed, his brain fogging over as the heat from the impact blossomed along his skull. Fucking dickhead with his stupid fucking powers. Maybe he should find someone with the power to not be a dickhead and he would be palatable then.

Don’t resist, Kit, Ambrose said in his mind. Kit knew not to reply because Nathan would hear him, but still. What would he say to that? His muscles were stiff from being cooped up on the bed for so long, unable to leave the room. And he was fucking starving. Dinner sounded great right about now.

A few minutes later and Kit heard footsteps coming up the stairs towards his room. He sat up on the edge of the bed as much as possible, eager to stand up finally. His eyes found cruel green when the door opened. Jude smiled at him as he walked in.

Kit swallowed the riling remark on the tip of his tongue, Ambrose told him not to resist so he would be good.

“Look at you, sitting and waiting like a good puppy. Well come on, everyone’s waiting,” Jude said and Kit frowned. He pulled on his cuffs as to remind him that Kit was stuck on the bed. Jude tilted his head. “Well?”

“I—” Kit began but cut himself off. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t,” Kit said through clenched teeth, rattling the cuffs again. Jude hummed and walked over to Kit. His green eyes lazily went over Kit’s arms locked behind his back to the bed, clearly seeing the handcuffs before he looked Kit in the eyes again, his smile sharp.

“Looks like you’re not trying hard enough,” Jude said with a shrug. Before Kit could ask if this guy was fucking mentally deficient, Jude’s hand shot out and he grabbed Kit’s cheeks, squeezing them hard until Kit couldn’t close his mouth or do anything except try and shake Jude’s hand off.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Jude said, wrenching Kit’s head up so he was staring Jude in the eyes. Kit struggled in the cuffs, metal clanging dully against wood, trying to dislodge Jude’s hand but it was all in vain. Jude’s eyes seemed to get darker and Kit froze.

“No!” Kit protested, but with his mouth half open it just sounded like oh. As in, I know what you’re about to do, kind of oh.

“Kit, I think you’re not putting any effort into following me downstairs like a good boy. So how about you get out of your cuffs,” — even before he finished Kit could feel the fog settling over his mind, his struggles seizing momentarily, — “and follow me downstairs.”

Jude let go of Kit’s face and Kit’s expression turned blank as he began to pull at the cuffs. Yanking his wrists free, trying to twist and turn and pull them out of the cuffs, hut the cuffs were on too tight, locked with no wiggle room. All his struggles earned him was pain and he cried out as he yanked and tugged and pulled.

Kit?! Ambrose asked but Kit couldn’t answer. He had to get out of the cuffs. Jude stepped back and grinned, watching as the hero struggled and writhed in pain, trying to free himself from his restraints. There was always something so beautiful about overriding someone’s self-preservation and watching them destroy themselves.

“Fuck!” Kit screamed as he felt warm blood trickle from his wrists as he yanked violently at the cuffs on the bed. “Please, please— AGH!”

“It’s not difficult, Kit. Come on now, chop chop. Everyone’s waiting for you.”

Kit ripped and tore, his shoulder slammed violently forward as he squirmed, using one foot on the floor and the other on the bed to try and pull his hands free as the stench of iron filled the room. Jude chuckled behind him, his cat-like amusement palpable as Kit changed position again.

He turned his body, his arms twisting around and he pulled with a horrific scream until a loud crack echoed around the room and Kit cried out in pain, falling to the floor. He let out a loud, pained grunt as he cradled his broken hand and brought it to his chest.

“KIT!” Ambrose screamed up the stairs, but Kit barely heard it, the world swimming in front of him as blood poured from his wrists. A hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him to his feet. Kit stumbled into a standing, his feet stumbling and fumbling over each other as he was pushed forward.

They stopped just before the stairs and a door was opened in front of him. All he saw was white before he was shoved in and Kit went sprawling, his hands out to catch him and he screamed.

“JUDE YOU FUCKING— I SWEAR TO GOD, NO GET OFF ME, NATE!”

“You have sixty seconds,” Jude said sweetly. “I’ll even close the door for you.”

Kit blinked, pain vignetting his vision. His blood coated the tiles with a putrid crimson, oh, he was in a bathroom. Right.

He had needed to pee…

Kit grabbed the edge of something white with his good hand and started to pull himself up, blinking away the pain, his body numbed to feeling. His teeth chattered as he looked around, searching for the toilet. Just in front of him… he would— he could make that.

Bloody handprints smeared the walls as Kit made his way over, the handcuffs still locked around his good wrist. It was an effort to unbutton his pants, but he felt so much better after peeing. Like his hand wasn’t mangled right now.

When he saw his face in the mirror over the sink he recoiled, disgusted. He wasn’t pale, he was white. White as the bathroom tiles, almost see through, his skin translucent and stretched taut over the bones in his face. His skin was breaking out in red sores and his eyes were veined with that luminous red lightning stretching like branches across his face.

He looked like a monster.

Like something from a ghost story.

He washed his good hand and glanced down at his mangled one, a heavy, warm feeling turning in his stomach that he swallowed as he grabbed his bad arm and forced it under the cold water. He cried out, biting his cheek and lips to dampen the sound but he abandoned that all together when the water hit his thumb and he cried out.

“Times up, drama queen,” Jude said, opening the door. Kit looked at him with wet eyes, a shivering, pale mess, like a cancer patient or a terminally sick man. Was he going to die with this red lightning? Was that his future? He didn’t…

All of sudden Jude was in front of him, turning off the tap and grabbing Kit by the hair, yanking him out behind him. “Fuck, ow! Let me go! Stop! Let me—”

“Go?” Jude asked, coming to a sudden stop. “Gladly.”

With a strong swing, Jude dragged Kit in front of him and then kicked Kit in the hip and Kit fell. Only he didn’t stop. His elbow hit one stairs, his head following, his feet going over his head, hitting his knee, his ankle, his bad hand and he gasped as he rolled and bounced and tumbled until he stopped and he whimpered at the bottom, coughing, trying to get some air back in his lungs.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Ambrose seethed and Kit was vaguely aware of a struggle but his brain wasn’t cooperating enough help him fill in the gaps. He wheezed as he put his good hand under him, still wet from the water and it slid across the floor and he fell again. Pathetic.

Weak.

He can’t even lift his head, god, what would Mentor think of him like this? If he saw him now? His second chance? His strong legacy? Would he turn away like he did to Ambrose? Would he throw him out and tell him to never come knocking again?

“Kit, hey,” a pair of black eyes met Kit’s, but even holding a gaze seemed too monumental a task. “It’s okay. You’re fine. I’m going to get you up, okay?”

Kit hummed in pain. Ambrose took it as assent. He hooked an arm around Kit’s waist and grabbed his bad arm at the elbow, putting Kit’s arm over his shoulder. Kit moaned wetly as his hand bounced off Ambrose’s shoulder as the villain stood the two of them up. Kit put weight on his leg and one of his ankles folded and he gasped as he crumbled, but Ambrose kept him up.

“It’s okay. Hey, it’s okay. I got you. Come on, it’s okay,” Ambrose said as he walked Kit to a chair at the dining table. “You’re fine. Come on. It’s okay.”

Kit was openly crying but he didn’t care. He was exhausted and starving and humiliated and in pain, he wanted someone to be nice to him. Even if Ambrose did torture him before, he needed, no he craved the kindness now and he would take it from anybody. His life has been too hard lately, he just wants something nice, something soft.

“There,” Ambrose said, gently depositing Kit in a chair. Kit shivered as Ambrose let go of him. Before Ambrose could step away, Kit’s good hand shot across his body and grabbed Ambrose’s sleeve. Ambrose stiffened beside him. “Hey, Kit— it’s—”

“Oskar.” Nathan said, his voice commanding, and Kit whimpered. He tightened his fingers in Ambrose’s sleeve, begging without speaking for Ambrose not to leave him. Silver eyes cut into Kit’s face. He trembled and shut his eyes, turning his head into Ambrose’s arm. “Come here, now.”

“Nate, please, he’s—”

“Do you want me to let Jude come and break you up?”

Kit tightened his grip and whimpered again. “Please,” he whispered. “Please, please, please,” he said as Ambrose took his hand and plucked it off his sleeve. “Ambrose please, don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving, I’m just sitting over here, okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Anything else happen to me, Kit corrected silently.

Ambrose’s shoulders wound tight at that, but he continued walking past Nate to a seat at the opposite end of the table. It wasn’t a big table, but in Kit’s current state, it would take him years to cross it or reach safety. All he could do was shake in his chair like a fucking chihuahua.

Kit’s eyes slid to Nathan’s silver that were fixed on him, swirling slowly like mercury. It made Kit motion sick. “I’m guessing we don’t have to restrain you, do we?”

“F-f-fuck you.” Kit spat. The effort pulled a cough from his chest, he doubled over the table and gasped. He could feel the beginnings of a nosebleed trickle down his nose, warm and sticky on his face as it ran over his lips.

“Mmm, I’m terrified, little hero.” Nathan said as he turned away and walked to the other end of the table, pulling out the seat directly opposite Kit. He sat down in his chair and reached his hand out to grab Ambrose’s hand in his.

Kit glanced at Ambrose who stiffened, but allowed Nathan to lift his hand and press a possessive kiss to his knuckles. “It’s so nice to get to know your new friend, Oskar. Tell me. How did you two meet?”

Kit steadied himself and sat back in the chair, resting his head against the soft cushion. The room was swirling in front of his eyes, everything hazy and a little too bright so he closed his eyes but that didn’t help the wooziness that followed and made him feel worse.

“Work,” is all Ambrose replied. Kit opened his eyes again at the answer.

Amused mercury eyes found Kit’s. Nathan rubbed his thumb over the back of Ambrose’s knuckles. “Did you try to stop the great Omen, Kit?”

Kit didn’t answer. He just stared. A small searing ring started to echo in the back of Kit’s mind as Ambrose lurched forward and wrapped two hands around Nathan’s. The ringing stopped as Nathan turned to Ambrose, smiling a little sadly at him.

“Don’t. He won’t be able to handle anymore pain!” Ambrose said, his voice pleading.

“So?” Nathan asked, reaching his free hand up to brush Ambrose’s dark curls away from his eyes. “What do I care if he dies?”

“If you kill him, I’ll leave.” Ambrose snapped. That seemed to suck all air from the room. If Kit wasn’t lightheaded before he certainly was now. Nathan’s expression was as calm as the eye of a storm, but even here Kit could feel his cold fury at Ambrose’s ultimatum.

Nathan sat back in his chair, pulling his hand from Ambrose’s. His eyes flickered to Kit, then to Ambrose and back to Kit before he smiled. “I see. That’s how it is, is it?”

“Yes,” Ambrose snapped. “That’s how it is.”

Nathan let out a small, humourless chuckle. His eyes glinted like gunmetal as he pushed back on the table, wood scraping against wood. Ambrose stood too.

“Nate—”

“Sit down, Ambrose.”

“Wait, what’re you—” the wind was knocked from Ambrose’s lungs as he was thrown heavily into his chair. The wood bent like liquid around his arms and hardened again as Nathan started towards Kit. “Nate! Stop, wait. I’m sorry— I won’t—”

“No, Oskar, you’re right.” Nathan said. Kit clicked his fingers below the table, but all he could generate was a measly spark with the cuffs still locked around one hand. He was too weak. “I don’t want to kill the boy, do I? But that’s okay. We can rough him up as much as we like. I can give him to Jude as a toy and tell him to bring him to the brink of death over and over and over again.”

“Nathan!” Ambrose cried, grunting as he struggled to break his wooden shackles.

Nathan grabbed Kit’s broken hand and squeezed. Kit screamed, crying out as he tried to escape or push Nathan off of him. Nathan turned to Ambrose.

“Nathan, stop! Please!”

“Hush, you worry too much. Look, I can do this.”

The sound of bones breaking echoed through Kit’s skull and he roared as his body repaired itself. He could feel his body stitch itself back together artificially, the heat of his cells and blood working overtime as he writhed under Nathan’s touch.

After what felt like an eternity Nathan released him and Kit’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. He slipped from the chair, boneless, his head slapped off the wooden floor and he woke again, moaning in pain. He reached a hand up to his temple and he shivered when he realised that was his broken hand. The hand Jude forced him to rip from the cuffs.

Kit turned, his body moving like molasses, sludge-like and slow, as he turned onto his back and scrambled back from Nathan who was advancing towards him again.

“Nathan! The trauma on his body will kill him! His heart—” Ambrose stammered, struggling in hushed wooden prison. “He can’t take another healing like that in such a short amount of time.”

“Oh don’t worry, Osk.” Nathan said, smiling shark-like down at Kit. Kit’s heart stuttered in his chest as he clicked his fingers but nothing. Fucking! STUPID CUFFS! FUCK!

“Don’t come near me,” Kit yelled. “You fucking psychopath! Let us go!”

Nathan stopped advancing as Kit’s back hit something solid. He froze, his chest rising and falling erratically. He didn’t recognise the solid thing behind him was a pair of legs until knees were bending into his shoulders and he jerked away. Kit threw himself to the side on his hands and knees and pushed himself up, running towards Ambrose’s chair and pulling at the wooden beams locking his arms down.

“Kit, I’ll be fine,” Ambrose said, his voice sounded strangely gentle and pleading. “Go! Just—”

“Kiiiiiiiiiiitttt,” and Kit swayed on his feet. Ambrose turned his head and said something but the words turned to water and slipped through his fingers like a sieve, unable to catch them or decipher them.

A hand grabbed his face and turned him to look into dark green eyes and Kit snapped out of his trance, smacking Jude’s hands away and grabbing the free cuff in his fist before sending a punch straight to Jude’s jaw. Then his nose.

The maniac stumbled back, blood dripping from his face but Kit didn’t give him an inch and stepped in again, clicking his fingers with one hand while he punched Jude in the eye this time and the villain screamed as something squelched. Lightning sparked in Kit’s fist and he channeled it into the hand with the cuff and grabbed Jude with his free hand, going for the final blow.

A hand caught his fist and Kit’s eyes shot to Nathan. The veins erupting from his silver eyes were electric purple, and the electricity consumed Kit’s until Kit’s grip on Jude let up. He jerked back, yanking his arm back but Nathan just crushed his hand around Kit’s until Kit’s wrist bent under the sheer strength.

“OKAY! Okay! Fuck!” Kit screamed, folding with his arm to his knees but Nathan didn’t relent.

“Nate! Nate, please! Stop!” Ambrose cried frantically. “Please! Leave him alone!”

“Just who is this kid to you, Oskar?!” Nathan demanded, kicking Kit onto his back and stomping on his chest. “Why do you care about him so much?!”

“Because he’s— he— fuck,” Ambrose yelled, slamming his head back on the chair. “He’s…”

“He’s?”

“I don’t know!” Ambrose snapped. Kit’s eyes went to Ambrose, brows coming over his eyes. What the fuck was Ambrose talking about? “Mentor adopted him when I left, Nate.”

Nathan froze above Kit. His head snapped to Ambrose and he got off of Kit. It wasn’t like Kit could move, he could feel a telekinetic energy rippling above him like a barrier, keeping him pinned but he could turn his head to Ambrose and Nathan.

Nathan’s eyes were hard, his brows lowered slightly and pinching together in something like concern. Nathan grabbed Ambrose’s chin and forced Ambrose to look at him. “What?” Nathan demanded, breathless.

“I didn’t know,” Ambrose said. “I didn’t know it when I met Kit, but— it’s true.”

For a long, tense moment, Nathan said nothing, just stared, his eyes searching Ambrose’s face for something, anything.

“Oh Oskar,” Nathan said with a sigh, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Ambrose’s forehead. Silver eyes glanced down to Kit. “We can kill him together if you like.”

“No!” Ambrose said quickly. Kit’s heart thundered against his ears, his blood rushing through his body quickly, preparing his muscles for a fight. “No. That’s not what I want.”

“Then what is it, Osk?” Nathan asked, leaning back and cupping Ambrose’s cheeks with both of his hands, forcing Ambrose to look at him. “What is it about this fucking kid that would make you sacrifice everything for him? This isn’t you. You’re not a hero.”

“This isn’t about being a hero!” Ambrose protested.

“Isn’t it?” Nathan challenged. “You think if you can save this kid that maybe it will change how your father looks at you?”

“No.”

“You’re lying, Oskar.”

“I already took everything from him, Nate!” Ambrose snapped. Kit flinched on the ground. Everything from him? How much did Kit have to offer? Not much, if everything meant that Kit’s life was already used and ruined by Omen.

Wasn’t it?

Kit didn’t even struggle to fight the barrier holding him anymore. He was tired, he realised. Tired of fighting to try and not get hurt, to try and stop people hurting him. He didn’t want to be used as leverage against Ambrose anymore. He’d rather Ambrose just kill him.

He should have just killed him…

Kit…

Kit didn’t acknowledge Ambrose in his head. He just lay flat and stared at the ceiling. Had all his fighting been for nothing? Was he destined to die at the hands of a villain? A supervillain?

Maybe his golden years were the ones he spent with Mentor, and he already knew during that time, that even that happiness would end. He wasn’t born to be happy. He wasn’t built for happiness. Some people just weren’t. That’s okay.

Kit, if I knew… If I could take it all back…

Kit just stared at the ceiling above him. It didn’t matter. None of it… he cast his eyes down to his forearm, looking at the scars there, Ambrose’s special ownership. Like a collar on a dog, something that would be there for a long time, longer than Kit would like.

What was he if not just a chew toy for stronger people than him to use and abuse however they wanted? Make him do whatever they wanted him to? Jude… Ambrose… Nathan.

They were all the same level of strong.

God. Kit was such an idiot. He didn’t realise he was crying until a hot drop dripped onto his cheek and he flinched.

He should have never joined the Academy. He should never have let his head be filled with ideals of being a hero, a fucking Hero?! Against villains like these? He couldn’t even fight back without being slapped into last week by one of them, or forcing himself to torture himself for their sick, sadistic pleasure.

Silver eyes leaned over Kit, staring down at him with a hard look on his face. Kit stared back, blinking blankly up at the villain. He straightened and snapped his fingers with a sigh. The sound of wood creaking snapped Kit out of his spiralling thoughts and then black eyes were above him.

“Kit, hey.” Ambrose said, slapping his face lightly. Kit turned his head away.

“Just take him to a room,” Nathan said. “A proper room. I’ll lock the door once you leave, Oskar.”

“Can I—?”

“Do what you like,” Nathan said with a sigh. Kit ignored the conversation as Ambrose pulled him to his feet. Ambrose glanced over his shoulder at Nathan.

“Thank you, Nate.”

Nathan turned away. “No problem, darling.”

“Really,” Ambrose said. “Thank you.”

Kit didn’t care about whatever moment the two bastards were sharing. He just wanted to be dead, to be killed. He wanted Ambrose to just join Nathan and team up against him already, make him regret ever being born.

Fuck… he…

“Kit, please,” Ambrose whispered quietly. Kit didn’t answer. He just kept walking.

*~*~*~*~*

@beatenbruisedandbloody @404lunar1216 @whumpyworld @nameless-beanie @andithewhumper @annablogsposts @whumpasaurus101 @0eggdealer @rejectedbytheempty @sleepy-pearl @n3rv0usn0v4 @whumpatize-me-captain @sunshiline-writes @burningkittypoet @honeyed-euphrates @sacredwrath @theonewithallthefixations @blood-enthusiast t t @tippytappytyping @shinokoro @bedtimescenarios @whatwhump @acer-whumpstuff @fa1rie @jesterrinobutter @xxgalgurlxx @princess-bubble-blossom @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @dutifullykrispyland @memepsychowhowantsuperpower-blog @ehobep

[whumblr]

Dead of night

Crossed out - Continued from ch.10 - Prologue

-

With a heavy-handed sigh, Lucas slid into an open seat at the long breakfast table among his ‘work’ buddies and deposited his tray with a disgusted glance.

“Beatings continue until the morale improves,” he muttered and dragged a spoon through the slob they called porridge, “but the food here continually destroys any bit of morale you build up…”

The man next to him, Trey, guffawed softly into his sludge. When he made eye contact he quickly glanced away again, but with a soft smile.

“You’re finally starting to get it, newbie.”

“Finally being the key word here,” the man across from them spoke up. When Lucas looked at him in question he didn’t look up, just kept his head down and continued: “Nero says you’re a fast learner. I say you’re a fucking dumbass.”

“Hey, I watch and learn,” Lucas countered a little offended, recalling Marcus’ words.

“Sure, that’s why you got that black eye.”

“And you were limping back to your cell last night.”

“Learn faster.”

“He’s gonna learn sooner or later that everyone here calls him ‘that new dumb fuck’.

Lucas huffed, but with a smile. It’s not like he could counter that. His intelligence wasn’t really the problem here; more the fact that his stubbornness just kept overriding every logical decision he had to make here. And being stuck between a rock and a hard place didn’t really bring out his best decision making skills. Maybe he didn’t perform as well under stress as he had always thought. Or corporate stress was just a whole different beast.

He brought his fork up to his lips. Wasn’t porridge supposed to be at least somewhat liquid? They say chewing more will make you feel like you’re more full. But chewing on this… well, he hadn’t decided yet whether that was a crime or the punishment.

He swallowed the bite in one go. Pulled a face. “Do they sell snacks at the shop? I think I’m gonna need to be able to look forward to some good, overly sweetened processed food every now and then.”

“Wait ‘til lunch,” one of the guys said.

“Get your essentials first. Then snacks,” another said with some better advice.

“What are the essentials? I got my toothbrush and slippers…”

“Painkillers, in your case, seem essential.”

“They sell that here?!”

“Sure, just mild variants.”

Still, every little bit would help, Lucas thought. Would’ve been nice if he’d known about that earlier, but he wouldn’t have had money saved for it anyway. He still refused to visit the infirmary. It felt like admitting defeat, plugging up some of the cracks with aspirin.

“You got earplugs yet?” Trey asked.

“I don’t have a bunkmate so I don’t need it.”

The conversation halted and all the men glanced up at him, then looked around at each other, uncomfortable. Trey whispered, “It’s not for the snoring…”

“What?” Lucas looked up but they all avoided his gaze. “What then?”

“Speak for yourself, Trey,” one man said with forced laughter after the silence became too tense. “You try sleeping in the same cell as Lorenzo.”

“Actually, two cells down I can still hear Lorenzo.”

“Even with earplugs in.”

“Hey.”

The man across from him tried to steer the conversation away. “You’re so lucky you don’t have a roommate, though,” he said wistfully.

“Actually, I think it’s the other way around. With the speed this guy is turning Nero into his mortal enemy, I’d say we all are lucky not to have him as a roomie.”

Lucas, getting more and more confused with the breakneck speed they all danced around several subjects, piped up. “Why’s that?”

The conversation instantly gloomed again.

“You saw what happened to Graff,” Trey said softly, patiently.

“Yeah?”

“Nero employs something we call the buddy system. When you break one of the rules, Nero doesn’t just punish you, but your cellmate as well. It works well.”

After witnessing the unfair punishment of Graff, Lucas had suspected something like that, but to hear it said out loud… that just hit different. “I bet,” he said, a bitter undertone in his voice.

Right on cue, Nero marched into the cafeteria and Lucas found he couldn’t keep the bitterness in.

“Found another evildoer to punish,” he said a tad too loud as Nero stomped by, and he instantly regretted it.

Nero stopped dead in his tracks. Very slowly he turned towards him, straightening up as if daring him to repeat that and within a five yard radius, the conversations around him stilled. Nero shot him a glance that turned the gooey breakfast in his stomach to solid lead. “Why don’t we discuss this in my office tonight, Varga?” he said, no louder than necessary.

Fuck him and his big waffle… Nero kept staring at him, holding a steely eye contact until Lucas muttered a defeated “Yes, sir” and stared into his bowl. Then Nero stoically marched on.

The man across from him raised his eyebrows in a way that said both ‘yikes’ and ‘yeahh’ and he mouthed an exaggerated “Learn faster,” as he picked up his tray and stood.

That night, after fervently ‘discussing’ his outburst in the cafeteria, Nero spoke to the figure outstretched on the floor. “Now I was quite sure you were in the company of Georgiou at your first breakfast. Didn't he teach you anything?”

Lucas groaned, not recognising the name with Nero’s stupid tendency to call everyone by their last name. “Marcus?” He pushed himself onto his elbows and glared at Nero who barely nodded. “Yeah, he told me to keep my head down.”

“Shame you didn't listen to him.”

Normally, he’d accept the hidden implications behind those words and assumed the threat was for him. But after what he heard this morning, about Nero’s buddy system, a panic rose in him and his head shot up, eyes searching Nero’s to find out what he meant by that. “You’re not going after him for this? Right?”

“I won’t, Nero said, short. “Unlike you, Georgiou is a model prisoner. Just... join him for lunch a little more often. Maybe it will rub off on you.”

And Lucas knew they both severely doubted that.

Luckily, their ‘discussion’ that night was a short one and for once Lucas was allowed the dignity to walk back to his cell instead of limping or hurriedly wobbling across the halls to make curfew.

Relief still shot through his body when he could finally lie down on his cot, and he folded his hands behind his head, processing everything he heard today. He glanced at the other empty bed in the cell, indeed glad he didn’t have a bunkmate, but now for other reasons than just his privacy. If he had a bunkmate… well, he would’ve had a little more incentive to have kept his mouth shut this morning and at other times. Getting responsibility beaten into you for your own mistakes – rebellion – was one thing. Watching someone else get roughed up for your mistakes… that was a hard one. He could understand most in here kept to their own business.

The familiar evening ritual echoed through the cell block; buzzer, groaning iron, guards stepping past to check the cells, a tense silence for a few minutes that was broken by heavy footsteps and a single cell door opening. The warden was a busy man, Lucas thought bitterly. Apparently, keeping to your own business wasn’t as easy as it seemed. His cell wasn’t close enough to hear pleading, maybe there was just resigned silence, and the footsteps retreated.

A door slammed slut and Lucas turned over, able to sleep now that the ritual was over.

Only it wasn’t.

Just as he was drifting off to sleep, a scream pierced the silence.

Lucas shot right up in bed.

Though muffled and distant, and with him on the brink of sleep, he was certain he hadn’t imagined that and he lay very still, listening intently. He heard it again.

All hairs stood right on end, panic and a sense of immense wrongness seared through him. These weren’t the grunts and occasional scream that went with a beating. This was something else. Something very wrong.

It was desperate. Broken screams forced out, interrupted by something he couldn’t hear. Sobs. Crying, probably. Vowels of pain, interrupted by shorter vowels that indicated a pleading, cut off again by pain. Settling in a sickening rhythm, more broken with each repetition. He didn’t dare think about what in the world was happening there, not wanting to analyse these horrors. All he wanted was to shut it out.

Even the silence that followed was repulsive and did not comfort him in the slightest that it was over.

-

So as soon as he had scrambled enough petty cash through more hard labour, he immediately went to the prison shop.

“I’m guessing we don’t need to explain anymore?”

Trey stood behind him in line. He flashed a wry smile and nodded at the earbuds Lucas had bought.

Lucas stood aside and merely shook his head. The earbuds plus the dark bags under his eyes showed exactly what had kept him up these last couple of nights. Even when the nights following the incident had been quiet. He waited for Trey to finish his turn and watched in envy as he bought a Twix.

“You’ll want to be careful, though,” Trey warned, slipping the candy bar into his sleeve. “Not wanting to hear is good. But you also won’t hear him approach. He doesn’t care if he wakes people up, so the earbuds do help but… Well, let’s just say that it’s also not good for your blood pressure if you wake up with him already standing next to you.”

Good god, could you imagine… Literally waking up into a nightmare.

“I’ll be careful.”

-

Tag list: @gala1981 @chaotic-orphan @lolrpop @andithewhumper @tippytappytyping

@suspicious-whumping-egg @cherrychupachup @alexmundaythrufriday @defire @withdrawingramen

@light-me-on-pyre @treasureguardingdragon @notactuallyluska @fortunately-cool-penguin

[dystopianmoon]

LDS ML SONG ANALYSIS | IN DEPTH MINI PLAYLIST

I’ll be frank that I haven’t quite yet played LDS. However my friend is absolutely in love with the game. Curiously I invested in learning what’s so enthralling about it. And I can admit I get the appeal now. If there’s one thing I love more than character design and story depth it’s music. After a month of investigating I compiled some really interesting songs from my personal collection I feel suit the male leads. I analyzed all of their lore, the important details, interactions with MC, and yes even the spicy cards to determine which songs lyrically and spiritually worked! Please enjoy if you will. It’ll be lengthy.

Note; I listen to a lot of indie, shoegaze, alt indie, and post punk. this is based on my own taste!

.·:*¨༺ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎 ༻¨*:·.

➺ RAFAYEL

• Oceans ꨄ︎ Seafret

A deep song about distance between two lovers. I felt this ties into the part of them being separated through MC being human and him Lemurian. Bonded for their lives though so different, and even trying to get a magic potion in one life to be with her as a human himself. Very romantic honestly. I love his devotion to be beside her no matter the risk. The line “you know I’d rather drown than to go on without you” is so heavy. this song conveys having to hide their emotions, being separated, and that overwhelming feeling of wanting. Because being apart is so painful.

• Bathed In Grey ꨄ︎ Them & I

This song leaves a pulsing feeling within of appreciation and praises of the women’s existence in his life. I love the specific line “and her beacon, cements my place” considering he teaches her how to use a Lemurian Beacon. and then the lines “you taught me how to wade, this monochrome sea, that swallows me” I think it really gives you a vision of him alone without her in his space yet thankful of her existence in his life. I think MC really balances Rafayel and his vengeance against humans (obviously for destroying his people) later on in their connection.

• Words ꨄ︎ Gregory Alan Isakov

A very slow and steady song. It evokes a sort of jealousy within me of how in love he is with his partner. Writing her a lovely letter and asking her “did you ever notice the way light means more than it ever did all day long?” it’s just such a beautifully simple question really. Something I could see him asking. Another line I personally favor is “and I wish I could leave my bones and skin, and float over the tired tired sea so that I could see you again”

• Need It ꨄ︎ Half Moon Run

!! With Raf I imagine he’s a very intimate partner but still so artistic. I can’t imagine him having some exotic and nasty playlist, but something quite slow. He would dance with his partner humming against their forehead. Kissing them tenderly while drawing invisible sigils of his affections over every inch of skin. Whispering like a poet how grateful he is to be beside you, to be one with you. Even in your intimate endeavors he would cradle you gently but with obvious haste in his actions. I think his eyes would be most intense in these times. This song is simply so lovely down to the guitar and steady pacing of drums. The whole thing is quotable.

• Darkness ꨄ︎ Sweet Spine

So this song is more for the angst. I imagine a version of him where if he was suffering without MC and in a state of maybe anger, frustration, longing, and anxiety while painting he’d listen to this song. I love the lyrics “you tame the darkness, you beg the goddess” and “I can hardly breathe, I can hardly sleep without you, talking in my dreams” I think Rafayel would suffer so harshly. Every artist needs his muse, without it they become lost.

➺ XAVIER

• Moondust ꨄ︎ James Young

Where do I even start with this cause the lyrics just EMBODY this man. The lyrics “I’m building this house on the moon, like a lost astronaut, looking at you like a star, from the place the world forgot, and there’s nothing I can do” as an opener just tore me right open. Considering how he is the crowned prince of Philos, but it as a planet needing to sacrifice MC to keep it alive. Truly there is nothing he could do. Even though she reincarnates it’s just so sad. I love the recent reveal of him willing to sacrifice himself as well. A beautiful touch for his character.

• Monsoon ꨄ︎ Hippo Campus

This song is said by the writers to be about the death of a family member (for this instance it’s romantic), and the surprising lack of grief that was replaced by joy of the life that had been lived. Monsoons are seasonal change in the direction of the prevailing, or strongest, winds of a region. Monsoons can be of heavy rains too. Which I think is a lovely way of describing that “grief” I imagine Xavier definitely parted from MC with prevailing hope of reuniting again and knowing he would wait endlessly for her. The lyric “it should have been me” I interpret it also coming from his prospective of wanting to be the sacrifice instead.

• Yellow Love ꨄ︎ Citizen

This song is lovely down to every word. It conveys a powerful and passionate love, expressed through the symbolism of the color yellow. It explores themes of longing, transformative nature of love, and commitment. I love the lyric, “all I feel is celestial desire, a distant joy is dancing all around me” Xavier seems the type to heavily miss MC to his core, aching without her. Like a lost puppy he would wait for her return. That’s his partner through it all. Half of his whole.

• Too Good ꨄ︎ Troye Sivan

!! NASTY. FREAKY. SOUL SNATCHING. I am unfortunately unable to see this man as anything other than a straight up divine worshiper and freak for MC sexually. yeah…yeah I saw his cards. The way my jaw dropped from the audacity. This song needs no explanation it’s all in the lyrics. I mean if your skin wasn’t blazing alone from the song just pair it with his cards and you’ve got a levitating combination.

• Is It Really You ꨄ︎ Loathe

I can’t describe how much I just LOVE this song. When I heard it recently I thought this is perfect for him! For Xavier’s angst I imagine him laying somewhere in a field or rooftop allowing himself to drift. And as the song says, “let’s search the sky for a while, you and I, collide like two stars for a while” I think maybe he’d sing it with a bitterly sweet smile towards the sky imagining MC listening to him. maybe even when she’s near he’s humming it like a lullaby.

➺ SYLUS

• NFWMB ꨄ︎ Hozier

So given the lore of Sylus being a dragon being revealed I feel this song suited him so well. It opens with “when I first saw you the end was soon” to which I can recall the scene of them in his cave. Entangled together as she is tasked to end him but he questions her quite intimately I’d say with their proximity. Later on the two reunite as he is the leader of the N109 zone and her apart of the association. I like to imagine him saying the lines “give your heart and soul to charity (the association), cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey belongs to me” as well as “nothing fucks with my baby, nothing can get a look in on my baby” when her life is put into question. Though she could be a threat Sylus seems to allow her curiosity, protection, and connection. I find his subtle enthrallment of her adorable. live for him calling her SWEETIE right off the bat. Essentially MC really is his.

• Truly ꨄ︎ Cigarettes After Sex

This song is slowly paced though it has more promiscuous undertones I would reimagine it more so as Sylus reminding MC he is okay with anything with her, and not even afraid to go there. I see them with this untouchable bubble of possession, curiosity, desire, and attachment to each other. The chemistry always heavy and heart knocking. Something about their air truly is unmistakable and this song throws that out from the prospective of the male. I love the line “said you wear a new perfume for each city that you visit, so that you can remember how it felt to be there, and your lips are red and all the pictures that you send wearing white and black” it makes me think of when MC attends the gathering for the protocore business. How she was slightly nervous at first. But also how Sylus would likely pay attention to the little details. Like her lipstick that night or the outfit for the association (black and white) he’d see in her photos.

• The Yawning Grave ꨄ︎ Lord Huron

This is Sylus perfectly placed into a song. From his prospective he would be gloating himself up. The power from within but also around him. It perfectly describes how he would go about warning others that he is not to be trifled with. It’s truly worth every second. My favorite line being “Oh you fool there are rules, I am coming for you, you can run but you cannot escape, darkness brings evil things oh the reckoning begins, you will open the yawning grave” I see this as him warning if provoked he will bring them death without hesitation or remorse. No wonder they are so fearful of him!

• So Damn Into You ꨄ︎ Vlad Holiday

!! Oh my, another one! Listen I had the most fun with his spicy cards. I was frankly blushing and this song rushed to my head. “I was fading into dust, then you grabbed me with your madness, and you woke me up” likely taken in context of the past and present. For me I envision him sensual in all his ways even if not meaning it. However it’s never a bad thing to him when MC is nervous, blushing, and avoiding his eye contact. I think he’d find that intimidation so pleasing. Even better when she’s willing to challenge that energy without fever. I think Sylus would embody that very dominant and commanding lover, but never shy to worship her through every step. Coaxing MC into letting herself slip into him fully. The closing lines of, “it started with a bang, don’t know how you got me so messed up, but baby I won’t ever get enough, cause I’m so damn into you” would be something that really describe their dynamic.

• Entombed ꨄ︎ Deftones

So many angst songs could be used. However- this song is perfect start to finish. This song is quite literally about being undeniably BOUND to someone/something and in love. Several jumps in the lyrics embody their tale of being tied to one another. To start, “from the day you arrived, I’ve remained by your side, in chains” I’d say this is perfect of describing their encounter as a dragon when we circles her with his tail like a chain. And when she entered the N109 the first time how the Evol triggers to their wrists leaving her helplessly his. Next, “on the day you arrived, I became your device, to name and soothe” this id say sums up how MC can call upon him any time, literally hers whenever she is in need of him. But also naming him as the leader of the N109 was a major discovery for her. Lastly for the closing “from the day you arrived, I have stayed by your side, placed inside, safe and sound” I love the way Chino sings this with his chest. I imagine Sylus and his emotions for MC being heavy while watching over her endlessly for her safety and peace. Being apart from you would be a constant nagging reminder for him that he’s unable to itch without you there.

➺ ZAYNE

• Alone With Me ꨄ︎ Vance Joy

So obviously I read up on how these two had been childhood friends. As well as anecdote 2 Zayne who is different, dreaming of them. And I absolutely love the emotions Zayne has for MC, though he seems to hold himself reserved. I imagine he thinks endlessly on his praise for MC. Holding her so tenderly as the thing that pushes him, that he needs, that he can pour himself into. Specifically the lyrics “oh you’re the shape of my days, you’re my holy place, and I know everything’s good, everything’s just as it should be when you’re alone with me” when Zayne really speaks upon his feelings I feel like he’d be a bit shy even though assertive. However admitting to both himself and MC “here we are, I’m doing these things with you I never thought we’d do” and that’s just so beautiful to me.

• Snow ꨄ︎ Jome

I hold this song dear, and it just clicks for Zayne. this song really pulls at your strings as the male sings of his longing of what could have been if he had stayed in the same city. Wishing he never left her and imagining her goodbye. Admitting she has a piece of him and always sees her. I love the lyric “I didn’t mean to let you go, i still see you in the snow” obviously I noticed Zayne being called forseer and having that power regarding snow/ice. I’d like to think he would construct images of MC in his palm as he did for her with the snow seal! This song pictures that worry of separation between two lovers. It’s good.

• You & I ꨄ︎ Rhodes

This one is powerful and truthfully I cry to this one here and there. This song is about yearning for a past love. And like the other boys I feel like Zayne probably steps into this the heaviest. Consider the connection I read for them I truly felt my heart tug in sadness for them. This song is perfect, with the lines, “is it still you and I forever? Whether you like it or you don’t, sometimes we live alone, if we can find a little hope, we can make it on our own” and that just stabs you good in the feels. I’ll let you listen to the rest yourself.

• Paradise ꨄ︎ Henry Morris

!! I don’t have much I could say, but damn. Zayne is that perfect balance of patient yet so intense. Yes I would want a paradise with him. His spice cards leaves you craving more each time. That feeling of wanting to be pulled in became overwhelming: this song captures that. I love his gentle touches and praises of recognition. How he’s concerned if she’s slept, if she’s eaten, has she been hurt? The urgency always in his eyes and voice. It really makes your brain wonder. I love love the lyric, “help me cure your sickness,I’m the last one left if you need a witness, on your bedside stand, I’m a big commitment, are you sure you’re alright?” cause it makes me remind myself he’s a doctor and really can hold you down in the heat of it all and then be there till the end if you let him. Gently of course.

• Avalon ꨄ︎ Zeruel

So for Zayne it’s hard for me to place his angst. Cause I do see him as if he’d push through but in those moments of intensive disassociation maybe he’d let himself wonder to your memories. And replay it while questioning him and you. Could he change it all? Why did it have to be that way? Would you always be there? Sighing into his hands frustratedly. I think the lyrics, “is this love I don’t know, could you entrust me your soul, as we fight fire with sound I ask, could you stay for a while” perfect. His character is hard to decipher feelings wise and I assume he has that inner battle but in the end- he does love MC.

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ ⋙

I actually might considering playing this game after discovering so much about them. Personally Rafayel and Zayne really got me hooked. I’m Sapphic so this discovery of interest was EXTREMELY eye opening to my flavor. Let me know who you personally enjoy in the game!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

What's Been Going On.

Hey gang.

First off, before I make a cut, I just want to thank y'all for your patience and understanding the past couple months with my... distinct lack of interesting posting. I really appreciate it. I spend so much time here that I tend to eventually burn out and then feel bad when I physically can't provide y'all with new stuff. I love this blog and the community here, and I'm grateful that y'all are so understanding.

The TL;DR for those who aren't able to read below the cut due to the content warnings: I've lost 2 relatives in the past couple weeks, and one of them hit me very hard. I am sad, but I am trying my best to carry on. It will hurt for awhile, and I'm not okay right now, but I will be... I always am.

Below the cut, cw for descriptions of deaths, cancer, depression.

So, as I mentioned, I lost two family members in two weeks, almost exactly a week apart from each other. One, my youngest aunt (dad's sister) who I wasn't close with but I saw occasionally, from a sudden heart attack. The second, a little over a week later, was my uncle (dad's brother and my godfather) after a LONG battle with various cancers but the final one was leukaemia, and he passed away this past Monday. This is the one that hit me like a freight train because I was very close with this uncle.

For context, PRIOR to all of this, I haven't been sleeping well since just before the time change for some reason – so about a month or two. I just can't sleep through a whole night anymore, and it's frustrating and leaving me exhausted for weeks on end (the insomnia is important to note and it will be relevant in a sec).

Last year I think it was, maybe the year before, my uncle was diagnosed with throat cancer. He had undergone months of radiation and it went into remission. Then about a year or so, it came back as a different cancer, but I can't remember which one it was. Half a year ago, he got leukaemia, and was undergoing chemo and blood platelet replacement therapy for a few months.

On Remembrance Day weekend (November 11), the family found out that there was nothing more they could do for my uncle's treatments. This was devastating news for all of us to hear. Of course we hoped he would be okay until after Christmas, but his prognosis was already less-than-2-months after that revelation.

A week later, my aunt passed away suddenly. No pre-conditions other than probably being overweight and a heavy smoker, but my cousin (her 17-year-old daughter) found her in her room. I am closer with the cousin than the aunt, so I was texted by one of my other aunts at 2am Friday morning to talk to my cousin, since I have gone through a traumatic sudden-death of a parent and this cousin trusts and relates to me. And the only reason I saw the text was because I was already awake due to my insomnia. I called the cousin and stayed on the phone for 6 hours with her to ensure she was going to be okay. I took the day off work to sleep.

Exactly a week later, my uncle was rushed to the hospital with a brain bleed and pneumonia. I was texted by a DIFFERENT aunt, this one being the one I am closest to and knows how close I am to my uncle, last Thursday. I found out on the Friday I took off of work that he wasn't going to get better, that the bleed was essentially killing him slowly.

This uncle, for outsider understanding, essentially became a second father to me after my dad died and I moved to be closer to his family. He became the parent my mother wasn't. This uncle ensured I was always okay, and would drop everything for me. So to say I was devastated to learn that I was losing him forever brought up a lot of core memories from when my dad died is an understatement. First, my aunt dying young, like my dad, from a sudden heart attack, like my dad. Then my father figure in my life dying shortly after? Lots of turmoil this past couple weeks for me.

On Sunday, November 24, I said my final goodbye to my uncle, and he passed away on the 25th. It hurts so badly that I want to scream non-stop. I took that Monday off to grieve, and worked from home the rest of the week to sit in my grief alone. One of the things I am so grateful for was that I was able to say goodbye to him, and to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I love him. It gave me a sense of closure that I didn't have with my dad when he died. One of my biggest regrets about my dad passing is that morning he died, I never said "I love you" like I usually did because I was running late for work.

I did not want to make that mistake again. I got to hug my uncle, and tell him I love him so, so much, and I got to thank him for always being there for me when dad died. That he helped me through my grief when I finally did break three years after he died.

I let him know he was loved; I am so grateful for that opportunity.

I miss him so much it physically hurts.

Just because his death was inevitable, it doesn't make it any easier. It feels different than my dad's death, for sure, in the sense that I lost dad too young and unexpectedly. But it still hurts to lose someone I love even if I know he's leaving us. I am just glad he's not suffering anymore; he was in immense pain when I saw him last.

So, this past week, I have been sitting in my grief, crying at mundane things because they remind me of him or things we did together. I've played video games to distract my mind, and tried my best to work on this blog, albeit at a minimum.

The surprising thing I think about this whole ordeal is the immense support I'm getting from my coworkers, and my employer's understanding about my situation. I have a job that's primarily digital, so they've let me take as much time as I need to feel up to working fully again, and I am just EXHAUSTED, but I want to try to go back to the office on Monday, to get back to the routines that make me feel comfort. Work has said that if I'm having a hard time I can go back home, which, again, is so generous. I was at a different job when my dad died, and they didn't want me gone more than a week. This has been literally 2 weeks non stop of me working / not working / working from home..... I just cannot wait until Christmas break so I can finally just REST. I am extremely lucky to have the job I have, and I am very aware of that. The fact that they're letting me have more grievance leave than normal for a non-immediate family member boggles my mind, but again, I am grateful.

So yeah, that's what's been going on with me the past couple months. It's been chaotic, I'm tired, and very very lonely. AND to top it all off, I'm feeling my seasonal depression seeping in earlier than normal because of all this stress and anxiety, and I just... ugh. I need to get back to routine.

This is also why I'm doing the Christmas cards this year... because I want to have a bit of happiness this holiday season in what will probably be even more depressing than normal. My Dad's death-iversary is on January 11, and will be 17 years since his passing. It will be harder to cope with this year more than ever now, I think. Best I can do is continue to talk to my therapist to keep me from sinking further, and not bottle everything all up like I did 17 years ago.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. I haven't been "feeling it" these past couple months, and I know it shows in the lack of content I've been posting or producing. But I am so grateful to this community for understanding without the context y'all didn't have before now, and I hope you guys understand that I won't feel like myself again for awhile.

I'll try my best, though.

Love y'all. 💜

[stayevildarling]

Hello I know you are very busy so only if you have time please but maybe you could do a Delia, Mina, Billie, and Reader sick fic? I know you have written a few but I just love a sick fic and another one is always a treat. Thank you for your wonderful work in this fandom. Sending love!

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Echoes of Comfort

A/N: hello dear anon!🫶🏼 I think you literally requested this months ago and I‘m so sorry for never writing this until now. considering I was badly sick the last few days, I thought about writing this.

tw/tags: established poly relationship, female reader, mention of sickness, mention of vomitting, mention of pain, mention of fever, mention of cramps, mention of doctors, mention of medication, mention of anxiety

word count: 3.6k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay , @blu3dimples , @stepintomyworld

It all started the night prior, settling into bed with your lovers, ready for the last day of work this week tomorrow before spending the weekend with your girlfriends. You had a nice evening really, enjoying a warm cosy bath, your favorite pairs of pyjamas and cuddles. Since dinner your tummy felt a little off, at first brushing it off for some indigestion but the feeling never went, eventually turning into nausea. And as the hours passed, the feeling only got stronger and stronger, leaving you restless through the quiet hours of the night. You tried water, some music to calm yourself down but nothing seemed to help and as you didn‘t want to wake your lovers, all you could do was snuggle into their arms and wait for sleep to take over.

But when you woke up the next morning, the nausea was even stronger, leaving you a little anxious. You had just started working this new job a few weeks ago, scared of their reactions if you needed to call in sick. Billie was already gone by the time you woke up, Wilhemina also on her way and Cordelia in her office. You tried to sit up slowly, sip on some water before trying to get up to slowly get dressed. It being friday meant your short day and you wondered whether you may be able to get through today but as soon as you stood up, you knew it wasn‘t meant to be, a wave of nausea and dizziness overtaking you. You quickly sit back down, grabbing your phone and calling out for the day, knowing there was no way you‘d manage to get through today anywhere else beside bed.

Seconds later the nausea hits its peaking point and you can tell what‘s about to happen. In a quick attempt, you try and get up but fail miserably and so all you can do is reach for the bag that you put beside your bedside last night, unable to find a bucket with your state. The retching echoes through the silent academy as well as your sobbing moments later, throwing up always making you cry even though you never understood the reason. It takes mere seconds for the door to burst open and for the supreme to rush inside, her eyes wide and the concern written across her beautiful features. „Oh sweetheart“ she coos, watching you empty the contents of your dinner into the bag. She wastes no time in flicking her wrist and making a bucket appear, replacing the bag with ease. She quickly sits behind you, putting your hair up for you as she soothingly strokes your back, waiting for it to pass with you.

It takes a little while until it finally stops and she wastes no time before using her magic to make the bucket and contents disappear and make a new one appear beside bed just incase. Your sobbing continues before some panicking settles in, hating to be sick and the fear of it happening again. „Y/N, can you tell me what‘s wrong baby?“ she tries, not sure what your sobbing means. „Hurts“ you manage to coax out despite the strange taste and she gets up to face you, seeing your scrunched up expression and how you are holding your stomach, your body slightly curled up. „What hurts baby, your tummy?“ she asks gently as she wipes your tears and all you can do is nod in response.

„Okay sweetie, how about you lay down for me and get some rest?“ she offers and you look at her through exhausted eyes before you glance towards the bathroom. „Brush teeth“ you mumble and she nods before she takes your hands, noticing your legs shaking and stabling you. She sits you on the edge of the bathtub before brushing your teeth for you, her brown eyes keeping you safe as her touches are feather light. She notices your clothes are stained in sick, not having seen this before as the concern distracted her. She wastes no time in changing you into some comfortable loungewear and socks before helping you lay back down. The supreme stays by your side, helping you to some water before you close your eyes, struggling through the pain of the cramps and the aftermath of vomitting.

The supreme steps out of the room a little while after, noticing that your state isn‘t improving much, your face pale and the signs of pain obvious on your features. She reaches her phone, the concern evident on her features as she debates who to call. Billie was undeniably always there for you three but equally the medium often struggled with her own anxiety and she didn‘t mean to worry her too much. In the end she opts for Wilhemina, knowing the redhead was mostly the one telling her when shes overreacting with worry but always having the right amount of worry and the ability to stay sane in these situations. Cordelia hated this, hated seeing you sick, hated that she couldn‘t do much or make her magic fix it as she didn‘t know exactly what was causing you pain and those symptoms.

„Cordelia?“ the redheads voice echos through the speaker and the woman knew if Cordelia called her at this time in the morning, something was bound to be wrong. Her thoughts immediately travel to you, how you hadn‘t been out of bed this morning, how she thought it may just be your schedule as she hadn‘t memorized it so far with the new workplace. How she noticed the bag beside you but didn‘t question it further until now. „Y/N is sick“ is all Cordelia says to confirm the redheads concern. The worry practically radiates from the supreme and for a moment Wilhemina remains silent, hating the fact of you hurting more than anything else in this world. „What‘s going on?“ the redhead questions after a moment, knowing Cordelia to sometimes worry too much after all.

„I‘m not sure, she was sleeping and then I heard her being sick and she‘s in pain“ the supreme explains and Wilhemina‘s eyebrows furrow as she listens to the woman explain further. „Do you think she needs a doctor?“ the redhead asks and there is silence again before the blonde speaks again. „Maybe? I don‘t know.. I can‘t get away though, there is no one for the acadmy and I.. I- Mina I don‘t know“ the supreme sighs, clearly overwhelmed by your state and soft whimpers of pain closeby. „I‘m on my way, get her dressed and ready“ Wilhemina instructs and Cordelia sighs gratefully before hanging up the phone.

Moments later she returns with your shoes and a coat, as well as a bag for the car, her rational side always there despite the concern. Your eyebrows furrow before she speaks softly „Mina is coming and will get you checked out my sweet girl“ she coos as she places a kiss on your forehead and checks for a temperature. You frown, hating doctors and the thought of having to go to one but the pain is too strong to fight her so all you do is nod as she gets you dressed and lays you back down, waiting for your redhead girlfriend to return.

It takes less than twenty minutes rather than the usual thirty for Wilhemina to return and when the door opens, your eyes flutter open, seeing the concern in her eyes. „Hi little one“ she greets you softly before glancing at Cordelia. „How has she been?“ the redhead mouths and the blonde informs her about no more being sick but the signs of pain and how quiet you had been. The redhead doesn‘t waste a lot of time before she helps you sit up and locks eyes with you. „I‘m just gonna take you to get checked out little one okay?“ she asks and you nod before they help you downstairs and into the redheads car. The place is less than ten minutes away and despite the silence, the redhead can tell you are in pain by your posture but also how you seem much more awake now.

By the time she pulls over and opens your door for you, she can see the tears in your eyes and her eyebrows furrow as she looks at you. „Is the pain that bad little one?“ she asks carefully but you shake your head. „I‘m scared“ you admit and it hits her then how terrified you are of doctors, how bad your health anxiety is but that you never ever mention it to her considering her struggles and past. How Cordelia had mentioned how much you struggle with medication, that you hate doctors and hospitals, that your anxiety always makes you fear the worst. „I understand it‘s scary but I‘m right here and I won‘t go anywhere okay?“ she reassures and you nod as you see the honesty in her eyes, feeling safe and sound as her hand reaches for you. It doesn‘t take long until Mina walks you inside, fighting the usual snappy receptionist and her complaints about you not having an appointment.

Moments later you are laying inside one of the rooms, getting some blood taken from your fingers, so tired that you mostly don‘t notice whats happening around you. The doctor shows up minutes later, asking a bunch of questions which Wilhemina answers due to your fatigued state. „Alright, I‘ll just examine you then“ she smiles at you softly and you nod as she begins pressing down on your tummy, asking if the pain is getting any worse which you shake your head to. You answer some of her questions before she leaves for a moment to look at the blood results. „Test results are fine, her infection levels are 0.29, anything up to 0.5 is completely normal“ she tells Wilhemina and some of the words reach you in your tired state. „I assume some food poisoning, or a small infection but nothing serious, if it gets any worse over the weekend take her to ER though“ the doctor explains and Wilhemina nods as she listens carefully.

„I can give her painkillers and anti sickness through an IV or give you a prescription to take home“ the doctor explains and Wilhemina glances at you, seeing your eyes widen at the mention of an IV before she opts for the second. The doctor nods and leaves for a moment before you smile at Wilhemina through tired eyes „Thank you Mina“ you mumble gratefully and she returns the smile before murmering a soft „you‘re welcome sweet girl“. It doesn‘t take long for the doctors to finish writing everything down and sending you both your way and almost instantly as you get into the car, you fall asleep, the exhaustion weighing heavy on your body.

The next few hours are a blur, Cordelia and Mina took you back to bed, giving you the medicine that the doctor had prescribed for you but you are in and out of it for a while, mostly asleep and some soft whimpering escaping you, barely awake enough to register what‘s going on before falling asleep again. Cordelia made sure to send the girls home for the weekend early so she could stay with you, Mina equally by your side, the two of them taking turns, already having informed Billie and asking her to pick up some essentials for you. Despite the sleep supposedly helping your body, your entire body feels sore by the time you wake up, your forehead burning, despite your body shivering, your legs aching badly as well as your lower back. Tears sting in your eyes as you wake up properly for the first time in hours, mouth dry and feeling the weight of the sickness slowly dragging you down.

„Hey sweet girl“ Mina coos softly as she notices you waking up but as soon as she gets a proper look at you, her features drop seeing how much you are shaking. „Delia, get the thermometer“ she instructs and the next thing you know is feeling the cool sensation in your mouth as the blonde gently soothes you through it. „She‘s burning up“ the supreme sighs and Wilhemina doesn‘t waste any time before walking to the bag from the pharmacy, reaching for some of the painkillers and some water. „Open up little one“ she instructs with a soft smile, placing the tablets gently in your mouth before leading the glass of water to your mouth. „Drink up“ she instructs and you do, your mouth feeling terribly dry. You sigh heavily before laying down again, Delia reaching for a cozy blanket that she wraps you up in. Seconds later you are asleep again, your body clearly needing it to fight off whatever it is you are battling at the moment.

„She‘ll be just fine“ Wilhemina encourages as the supreme sits beside her, the two of them watching over you. And despite the concern fading from the supreme with having Mina by her side, the redhead doesn‘t like this, knows you shouldn’t be burning up like this. For now, all they can do is watch and stay close to you, one of their hands lingering nearby as they take turns in giving you little head scratches and checking your temperature. It takes a few hours before Billie returns and your eyes immediately open as you hear the door open and the light turn on. The medium stands there with a bag in her hand, the concern radiating from her features as she sees you on the bed. „God babydoll, you are so pale“ she sighs as she sets her things down and walks over to you, her manicured hands cupping your cheeks. „You‘re burning up too“ she mumbles, glancing at both Wilhemina and Cordelia almost accusingly, wondering why they didn‘t do anything about the state you are in.

„She‘s had medicine and what the doctors gave her, as well as water“ the supreme explains, calming down the medium a little. „She needs to sleep it off“ Wilhemina reassures before Billie raises an eyebrow. „Has she eaten anything? had some tea? she looks awful“ the medium sighs as her hands still hold onto you. „She hasn‘t been awake for any of that“ Wilhemina explains and Billie nods, understanding how awful you must me be feeling. The entire thing feels like a fever dream, both shivering while feeling your forehead is a volcano about to errupt. Your entire body aches, legs hurting so much that you can barely make it to the bathroom to pee. Your state concerns your three girlfriends, especially the soft whimpers escaping you and how pale you are.

„We should try and keep her awake a little to get her to eat and drink“ Cordelia encourages, causing Billie and Wilhemina to nod. They waste no time as the medium walks downstairs to collect the rest of the things she had bought for you, Cordelia joining in order to make you some tea as Wihemina stays with you, watching over your shivering frame. „Little one are you cold?“ she whispers and you nod before shaking your head seconds later. „So hot but cold too“ you manage to mumble and she frowns seeing your body shake but feeling your forehead burning up. The redhead looks at the time before realizing it was almost time for some more medication, turning a little in order to collect them but when she does, she feels your cold hand reaching for hers. Your teary eyes plead with her not to leave and for a moment it almost brings tears to her own eyes, never having seen you so clingy before, never having seen you look so awful and sad before. „It‘s okay, I‘ll stay“ she reassures before she leans a little closer, positioning herself behind you before she takes your shivering frame into her arms and places you in her lap.

Instantly you relax, the shivering stopping momentarily and her cold hands soothing your head as you feel the little circle motions calming you. It takes mere seconds before Billie returns, the medium of course having gone all out there on things she had bought for you, never not spoling you rotten especially when you are sick. She bought some supplies for soup, some tea, some electrolytes and also some self care things, some new pj‘s after hearing you were sick in your favorite pair, some cozy socks after hearing how cold you had been and a little teddy bear, knowing those are your favorite and knowing you deserve all of them. But Billie also knows its way too soon for most of those things as you are too out of it and so she softly places the bear on your night table before approaching with the cold bottle of gatorade.

„Babydoll?“ she whispers carefully, seeing you so comfortable in Wilhemina‘s arms. Your eyes open for a moment, rolling back as you feel the fatigue and how tired you are. The sight of you worries both blondes deeply as they kneel in front of you and they exchange glances for a moment. „Sweetie, we need you to drink“ the supreme encourages and you frown at the thought of it and seeing both a glass of water and the blue bottle. Instinctively you try and reach for the bottle but your shaking hands betray you. Billie frowns again as she opens it for you, passing it to your mouth and smiling proudly as you take slow and gentle sips. Once the amout is sufficient, Cordelia places some painkillers in your mouth and hands you some more to drink before you exhaustedly collapse against Wilhemina‘s chest.

Sleep washes over you in seconds again and Billie sighs heavily, hating to see you like this. „Poor baby“ she coos, as she runs her nails through your hair. They decide on settling between you and Wilhemina, watching over your sleeping form. You are in and out of it for the remainder of the night, waking up occasionally to drink some more and by the time you wake up and need to pee, you find both blondes asleep beside you. However, as soon as you move slightly in Wilhemina‘s arms, they are awake in an instant and by your side. „Sweetie, are you okay?“ Cordelia asks with concern in her voice and you nod before whispering „Just need to pee“. The supreme nods before she walks over to the other side, holding your hand before leading you to the bathroom. She waits patiently for you to finish and when you do her hands move to your forehead, sighing in relief as she notices your temperature much more normal now.

„How are you feeling baby?“ she asks and you smile at her before whispering „Much better but sore“. She returns the smile feeling reliefed, frowning when you mention feeling sore however. „Would you like some tea? a hot water bottle?“ she offers and you nod gratefully before she leads you back to bed, positioning you beside Billie and Wilhemina who wait patiently for you. „You feeling better little one?“ the redhead asks as Billie snuggles into you sleepily. „Yes much better“ you whisper and she cups your cheeks before pressing a kiss to your forehead. „I‘m so glad little one, you had us worried“. You pout apologetically as she pulls you a little closer into her chest. Delia returns moments later with some tea, having made it the right temperature to drink and you waste no time in taking some sips, the warmth feeling comforting as well as the heating bag on your sore stomach. „Thank you Delia“ you whisper gratefully and she waits patiently for you to drink up before taking the cup and placing it on your night table. „Anything for you my sweet girl“.

By the time the next morning comes around, you are feeling and looking much brighter and your girlfriends can tell, the colour having returned to your face, no signs of pain in your eyes and actually speaking to them. „I‘m so glad you‘re feeling better“ Billie coos as she holds you in her arms. „We make sure you rest today sweet girl“ Cordelia coos as she hands you some oats for breakfast, wanting to go gentle as you hadn‘t eaten anything the day before. When lunchtime comes around, Billie draws a bath for you, having bought you some bath salts and getting you dressed into the pyjamas she had bought for you. Her gestures causes some tears to swell in your eyes, feeling the love and care from your girlfriends and they frown at first, worry overtaking them but quickly replaced by relief as they realize why. „Thank you for taking care of me“ you whisper as Wilhemina dries and takes care of your hair for you.

„Always sweet girl“ they almost coo in unision and after a while you find yourself back in their arms, body still a little tired and week, needing to catch up on some rest as the bath exhuated you. „That was awful“ you sigh after a while and they can‘t help but chuckle before pulling you closer. „It really was, you had us freaked out“ Billie smiles as she presses a kiss to your cheek. And in their loving embraces you manage to giggle again for the first time in a few days, knowing no matter what life may throw your way, you would always have your girlfriends to rely on, caring for you and soothing you back to health. You relax in their steady arms, feeling the love from their actions, the affection in their words and the feeling of home and where you belong. With them, always.

[911-quotes1838]

Imagine this:

Eddie is in El Paso and has started to bond with Chris again. Chris hasn’t fully forgiven but there making progress.

Eddie has kept in touch with buck a bit but recently he feels buck is pushing away.

He has been awake for atleast and hour and is now having breakfast, it’s 7 and hes been trying to message buck, he should be awake because today was one of the days Buck got up to go gym. But he hasn’t message him which he usually does at this point, but nothing . Which is unusual for buck.

Eddie is starting to worry until he gets a call, “please be Buck please.” He whispers to himself whilst he’s stood alone in his kitchen.

It’s chimney. Why is he calling Eddie…

——————————

Early morning about 5, buck woke up sweating after a nightmare.

He lost everyone, Bobby how he was when he was in the coma, chimney stabbed to death, Maddie died because of dough and Eddie shot right in front of him and died.

He shot up sweat dripping down his face and tears streaming down his face, he couldn’t save them, they all died because he couldn’t save them.

It’s been half an hour and No way he was going back to sleep after that. So he thought he would go on a walk.

It’s currently chucking it down with rain and it’s difficult to see as it is still dark out but that doesn’t stop.

He starts to regret this walk when all he can think about his Eddie and how he let Eddie down.

He could’ve helped him. Offer for Chris to stay at his for a while instead, but no. He was too caught up in his own issues.

Tears started to stream down bucks face, he can’t see anything except for two lights travelling towards him very fast. They start to move more infront of him. Buck can’t quite figure out what it is until it’s too late…

A car heading towards him-

——————————

“Eddie…” his voice sounds broken, like he’s been crying. “Eddie I-it’s” he can’t finish what he’s saying without getting all choked up. “Eddie, buck is-” Eddie’s heart sinks. He doesn’t want to carry on listening. He could hang up ignore it. “Buck is in hospital” too late. Those dreaded words.

Eddie doesn’t know what to do he can’t speak he can’t move, he can’t think.

“A car hit him this morning. Drunk driver, driving wel over the speed limit in dangerous rain, lost control and swerved onto pavement and hit buck.”

Eddie can feel tears pouring down his face. His mind finally gives him Some words. “Is he..al-” but Eddie couldn’t bring himself to finish it. He just hopes chimney knows what he’s asking.

“For now..” for now, what does he mean for now. “He’s in a coma, he’s broke quite a few bones. Luckily nothing that will permanently damage anything.”

“Like the ability to work…” Everyone knows that whenever buck is in these situations the most important thing is if he can work after.

“Ye..I was hoping you could maybe get her as soon as possible, and maybe bring Chris if he’s up for it.”

Eddie was already on his way to his laptop to get two tickets To LA.

“Ye I’ll go do that now call me with any changes good or bad” and with that he hangs up.

After a few minutes the words Eddie would never want to see In this situation popped up. ‘All flights to LAX cancelled due to extreme weather warnings’ next one was tomorrow. Eddie had to wait a whole day.

——————————

Later that day, Eddie goes to his parents to break the news to Chris.

He’s taken him for a drive to a cafe Chris likes to go. Whilst eating Chris mentions how it reminds him of the one buck and Eddie use to take him. And as Chris says that Eddie breaks down.

“Is everything ok?” Chris asks sounding very concerned.

“No…buck..he’s in the hospital. And I tried getting flights down as soon as possible but concealed until tomorrow-” he has to stop there cause he can feel his words get lost in the crying.

He wipes his tears and looks up at Chris who has now got tears streaming down his face too.

“What happened?” Chris asks. Eddie tried to explain it his best but struggled. Afterwards Chris just stares at him. “Can I…stay with you until we go la” tabt question took Eddie by surprise.

“Of course you can” he says immediately getting up and going to wrap Chris up in his arms. And Chris doesn’t refuse.

——————————

The next day, flights cancelled.

And the day after.

And the day after.

Eventually Eddie is in the flight and is freaking out.

Let’s rewind.

Eddie had a day off work yesterday and was really worrying about buck. And he started thinking about him. And thinking. Until he reached something he was expecting. He could imagine him hugging buck when he’s better.

And then all of a sudden he thinks about what it would be like to just drag him into a kiss. ‘Strange’ he thinks to himself. Why would he think that.

He doesn’t want to kiss Buck

He’s his best friend.

And Eddie is straight. He thinks.

Although…is he. I mean ok guys a cute, and maybe he’s wanted to date a few, but he’s already dated women, he can’t swap now can be. He has to lien women.

But men for Eddie is just so…especially buck. ‘BUCK! no can’t think like that he’s my best friend” he thinks again.

But he can’t stop thinking about him. And he eventually reached the conclusion after 3 panics attacks, 10 panic calls to buck. All didn’t answer which sent him to tears. 2 totally off topic calls with Carla. And a useless therapy call. And his conclusion was he has feelings for buck…his best friend.

Which now leads him to being sat in an airplane about take off, to see his dying best friend. Who he likes.

——————————

Tbe flight was a nightmare, he couldn’t sleep because every time he fell asleep he had a nightmare, all the same scenario with different outcomes.

All about the day buck got struck by lightning.

His first nightmare was simple, Eddie couldn’t get his heart started and he died thanks to Eddie. And most of them were like that.

Except one that stood out. Buck git struck by lighting, and he fell, he’s dangling and Eddie runs up the ladder shouting buck.

“Eddie” he hears faint at the top of the ladder he looks down to see buck he’s speaking.

Sense of hope. So he lowers him down happy that he’s survived. Until chimney shouts saying he’s not breathing. But eddie can hear buck say his name.

After a few minutes he’s still saying his name.

“Guys I hate to do this buck I’m calling it tome of death…”

And all buck says is ‘I love you, Ed’s.’ And Eddie replies

“I love you too buck”

He jolts awake tears in his eyes. He’s on the plane, most people asleep.

But after that he refuses to sleep

——————————

They finally reach to la.

Athena is there to pick them up.

They rush straight to hospital. Not even dropping there bags off.

In the car Athena offers it stay with Chris while Eddie rushes straight in. And that’s what happens when they arrive.

As soon as he reaches there he sees in the waiting room, everyone.

Chimney

Hen

Karen

Bucks parents

He guess Maddie and Bobby are with buck.

Everyone says there hellos simce it’s been ages and chimney takes Eddie to see buck. Maddie is stood by the window watching buck.

Eddie looks into the window and as soon as he sees him his heart shatters. He looks worse than the lighting strike.

Bobby looks over to Eddie, and straight away gets up to see him.

“Nice to see tpy Eddie.” He says bringing him in for a tight hug, and as soon as bobbys arms bring Eddie in for that embrace Eddie breaks down into tears.

When they pull away he downs today anything. He just draws his eyes to buck.

“Go in I’ll give you some space with him.”

He enters the room, shivers through his body, the room is cold. Seeing buck like this makes the room colder.

He finds a chair in the corner of the room next to Buck. Eddie makes himself comfy. Vowing not to leave his side as he grabs bucks hand and places a gentle kiss. The hand was cold against his lips.

——————————

For days he satay there in the hospital, only leaving the seat to go bathroom or leave doctors to speak to his family or let his family have alone time. It’s been a week until he hospital, Chris is staying with Athena and Bobby, and they sneaks him in sometimes.

It’s just a normal Wednesday morning. Eddies hand clings onto bucks. He always finds himself praying for him when he does this and after he prays he tells buck how much he loves him.

But today after that he felt a movement his hand. This makes Eddie freeze, he tries to go call someone but that hand he’s holding onto clings on never wanting to let go.

Eventually he lets loose, one he hated to do, and calls the doctor. After half an hour of check ups and doctors and relatives coming in there’s a change.

Him Maddie and Bobby are In bucks room. Eddie holding bucks and again and Maddie and Bobby sharing stories about buck. Eddie couldn’t bring himself to join in.

But it was nice and relaxing to hear the stories. They both chatted until something caught the trios attention. A groan from the fourth body in the room.

They all turn to buck whose eyes are now flicking open.

Eddie tightens his grip on bucks hand. Letting him know he’s here. The first thing said from that man’s was “Eddie”

Eddies eyes widened and he was surprised.

Buck didn’t know Eddie was back.

“I’m here buck, right here I’m not leaving you.”Eddie said his voice shaking.

Buck turns to look at Eddie. His face lighting up when he sees him.

He then changes his focus to the other two.

“Maddie…is mom and dad here…” his vice weak and shaky.

“Y…y-yes” pure shock coming from her mouth as she says it. “I’ll go and get them.” She says nudging Bobby to go with her.

Which me at that it was just them to alone.

“So-” Buck tries to say but is immediately cut off my Eddie.

“Buck I am so sorry for leaving you. I never should have left LA I never show have gone to El Paso. I’m sorry i didn’t come sooner then rain cancelled flight for 3 days. I wish I was here. Maybe if I was here It wouldn’t have happened and you would be fine.” Eddie stops himself when he looks and buck.

“Please stop I think I’ve been in a coma for so long and the last thing I want to here is one of Eddie Diaz’s unnecessary and useless apologies” Buck says which a little laugh to accompany it.

“Erm rude”

“Really Eddie it’s fine please to apologise, I should’ve seen it it’s not your fault.” Before Eddie could protest his family came in which was his cue to leave.

——————————

Few weeks pass and buck is aloud out the hospital but accompanied with a broke foot and arm.

Eddie has been living In his apartment which he hasn’t cared about, until now. Because how is he going to survive living in a flat with his best friend who he’s in love with.

And it didn’t help that Eddie had literally looked after him so well.

He’s finally home, but has realise he can’t really get to his bed. Which he was annoyed about until he got into his house and noticed his bed downstairs where is sofas and chairs use to be and they have been relocated to where is bed use to be upstairs. And the plus side to it. His tv is still downstairs.

“Did you do this for me.” Buck said tears in his eyes and he doesn’t know why.

“Ye, I’m gonna sleep on the couch upstairs there’s also an air mattress upstairs for Chris to sleep on.”

Also buck does is smile and appreciate what his best friend has done.

“Well wanna watch a movie,” Buck says whilst Eddie is helping him into bed. He makes sure there’s space for Eddie to make himself comfy.

As the movie starts they both just sit in silence, soaking in eachothers presence. It’s comfortable.

Buck falls asleep on Eddie’s shoulder and eventually Eddie falls asleep. Both content.

——————————

A month and a half has passed and Eddies been living With buck for a while, but today is the day he’s been dreading for.

“Why are you going back to El Paso. This isn’t fair” Buck says sound rally upset. But Eddie couldn’t answer.

Buck was back walking and they were currently in the car bark by bucks apartments. Eddie about I Leave for the airport. Buck was obviously taking them since he could drive again.

The drive was silent for all three of them. And it was a pain knowing that they have to say goodbye again.

Eddie was considering telling buck how he feels but he didn’t want to ruin anything

Because confessing your love for your best friend is dangerous. It’s dangerous to say ‘I love you so much and have loved your since the day I joked 118 but was to oblivious to realise’ that’s just to risky. So he leaves it.

Hoping one day they can say it.

——————————

It’s tough saying goodbye to Eddie again. He wanted to just Im hold him back. He wanted to drag him in for a kiss and confess how he feels, tell him that’s he’s loved him since they met, that could ruin there friendship though.

But as buck is driving back regretting g everything ever he gets a call from a no caller id.

He beaks my answers not saying anything.

“You really going to let me leave like that again”

“Eddie” but knew it was Eddie, he could recognise his voice raiser then his own. “I’m sorry Eddie-“

“Come back you idiot”

And that’s what he did. No thoughts. He just turned around going back to the airport. As soon as he arrives he going to the door to greet them back.

He spots Chris first, giving him a hug like it’s been ages since they saw, you wouldn’t think Buck just dropped them off.

Then he saw Eddie. Without thinking he runs up to him and wraps him up in his comfort.

The drive back was comfy and they all chatted. And without realising until later on the drive, he noticed Eddie’s hand resting on bucks thigh. And he didn’t even realise his gown hands was resting I Eddie’s.

When they finally arrived at bucks they had food, pizza delivery, and got Christopher settled in bed. Since Eddie and Chris lived tbere Eddie and buck cleared out this random room and made Chris a temporary bedroom. The best was back upstairs and the couch was downstairs again.

Chris was asleep and Eddie and Buck were wrapped him in each other. Bucks legs over Eddie and there hands joined together, fingers interlocked. They didn’t even realise they did that.

“Eddie, I need to tell you something.” Buck has been thinking this through and maybe he has a small chance, and he’s gonna reach for it and fight for it. Eddie’s attention shifted fully to buck as he repositioned himself so he could see buck. Eddies eyes locked into bucks and bucks heart was jumping over building. “I’m just gonna say it Eddie, I love you and I’ve loved you for so long and I didn’t realise it until you said your were moving away.”

——————————

Eddie couldn’t say or do anything. He just stated and buck. He’s sat there staring at buck for what feels like for ever and the longer he waited the more depressed buck looks. Without hesitation he bulls buck in to a fiery kiss.

As they pull back to catch a breath. There foreheads pressed to eachother Eddie finally respond. “I love you too, Buck, I’m never leaving.”

And as he says that here are reunited at the lips.

[chibigingi]

In my two playthroughs (both romancing Emmrich so some bias to be expected), I've seen:

- assisting Neve with a murder case

- Discerning the Gloom Howler's nature for Davrin

- Making Gingerwort tea for Rook and Davrin

- Corpse whispering Zara for Lucanis

- Offering breathing techniques for Bellara to help her calm down enough to sleep

**- I haven't seen the cutscene but know it exists of helping Harding to understand how her new magic works (I think you get it when you romance Harding, others can confirm)

If there is a scene of him helping Taash, I've not seen it yet, but yeah, he's really into the whole "help everyone else with their own problems" and I'm here for it.

He also drops a LOT of hints to obtaining the best possible ending (encourages everyone to resolve their own problems, suggests/encourages Rook to talk with Solas, either to use the fake Ritual dagger he made while Rook was in the Fade prison, points out the need for mercy and compassion even when others have done wrong ((you get this in a banter where someone asks why they didn't just kill Johanna, I believe it's with Davrin)), etc. Hell, there is a dialogue that even hints that he mightve spotted the prison Rook gets stuck in, but wasn't sure exactly what it was (not could he as he readily admits throughout the game that there's so much of the Fade he nor other mortal experts can possibly know or comprehend).

((Take this bit with a grain of salt as I'm not sure if he was eluding to the Fade Prison as intended by the writers or if it was just a case of the writers wanting to keep up thr mysticism of the Fade despite the players now spending a lot of time in there.))

Later, when you go to Blackthorne manor and Johanna leaves you 'trapped' in the Fade, Emmrich assures Rook that there's always a way out, just that one needs to look or figure out the trick. Also, in that particular section of the Fade, there's a whole passage you go through and what are the walls. Hands. Lots of hands. Where else does the player see a lot of hands?

The Regret Prison, where Solas is and where Rook will eventually end up. Coincidence? Maybe. I don't know, I'm probably overthinking it, or maybe it's the point the writers are trying to make. If you romance Emmrich, he brings you back to the Necropolis (not just for romancing in the coffin) but to use it's enchantments to ensure that whatever magical influence Solas has on you is completely gone, so that first time you, Emmrich, and the unfortunate third party member gets pulled into a section of the Fade might have had some of its appearance influenced by Solas' blood magic.

Anyways, my point is: Emmrich is one of the most important characters in Veilguard and not for the most blatantly obvious reasons like the rest (Bellara fixes the Eluvians and thus makes fast travel necessary, Harding scouts out potential leads and Rook would be wandering aimlessly without her abilities to gain allies in a timely manner, Neve helps you track down the Dread Wolf and makes navigating the dangerous roads of Minrathous much easier, Lucanis is literally hired to kill a freakin' God, something no other person is capable of doing, Davrin provides the knowledge and skill to face off against an evolved form of Darkspawn, the bulk of the Gods' army, and Taash is THE dragon hunter, providing necessary knowledge and strength to help take down the Gods' most powerful weapons, the corrupted high Dragons and archdemons.) Compared to the others, Emmrich's role as the Fade expert is obviously just as important, but is more subtlely done and may not be truly appreciated at initial viewing. Besides that, and in keeping with topic with the OC's point, he also helps bring in a lot of the more mundane but easily important, human elements, and that's just as important to have to a group that is clearly meant to be seen as a Found Family trope.

Peepaw just wants everyone to be happy and healthy and I find that adorable and neat.

I like how Emmrich's ability is useful to the other companions and helps them in their personnal quests <3 He truly is my favourite

He's always so dashing when he works

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

when the chronic fatigue is fatiguing

[lazylittledragon]

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

[oozeandgoo-art]

Stubbornness.

[tidepoolalgae]

Borne out of some sort of chaotic energy, the dragonfly/sunflower quilt top is complete!

[static-radio-ao3]

regulus getting scolded the morning after hooking up with his ex? embarrassing. regulus getting scolded the morning after hooking up with his ex by barty? infinitely worse.

[orcelito]

Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.

And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...

And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!

I shall simply write fanfic about it.

[nyanfish]

sleepoverrr