#so many just passed me by because i haven't been successful

[unclefungusthegoat]

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[howdoesagrapewrites]

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐰𝐬

Plot: Imagine being the legitimized bastard of Daemon Targaryen, and having a very devoted family.

Cw: fem!reader, cisgender female reader (I'm sorry mascs and nbs, I'll make something for you later) incest/targcest implied for later, platonic and romantic yanderes, yandere EVERYONE x reader, here's a list of every character that will be featured (not all of them are romantic):Rhaenyra Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen, Rhea Royce, Alicent Hightower, Otto Hightower, Viserys I Targaryen, Aegon II Targaryen, Aemond Targaryen, Haelena Targaryen, Daeron Targaryen, Lucerys Velaryon, Jacaerys Velaryon, Laena Velaryon, Laenor Velaryon

Notes: I go by a very strange mix of the series and the books, I haven't seen the series in a while so the timeline will most likely be a mess. I'd like this to be a series but I've been incredibly busy. Extra: at first I thought about making reader Mysaria's daughter, but this is a self insert, so it's best that you look however you like, leaving the mother anonymous. The only physical reference I'll make will be reader's silver hair

>After Rhaenyra was declared the heir of the iron throne, Daemon, insulted, flew away with his mistress, the white worm, who he would conceive a child with, even asking for a dragon egg for the prince or princess to come

>However, Viserys demanded him to go back to his home and wife, he sent Mysaria off to lys, where the stress of a storm in the trip back made her lose the baby

>Daemon never fully forgave his brother, and this left him less than eager to have another child anytime soon

>So imagine his surprise, when 7 years later, there's a rumour spreading in flea bottom like wildfire, about a girl carrying Daemon's bastard

>Many women had claimed to carry a royal child before, thinking this could give them any sort of prize, so Daemon didn't think much of it at first, but when he heard her name, he recognized her as one of his previous "favorites" who disappeared without a trace months ago

>She was said to have taken residence in Essos, and Daemon went on dragonback to find her. She was from the free cities, five years older than Daemon, and a heart as cold as a northern winter, or so they said. She was not expecting Daemon, running away to have the child in peace

>"They said I was too far along when I found out, moon tea would've only harmed me. Besides, it was lucrative in its own way" said the woman. Daemon did little to suppress the disgust on his face when thinking about her being defiled by other men while carrying his dragonseed babe

>She wanted no part in the baby's life, and Daemon, in his particular fashion, informed her he'd take the youngling as soon as it's out of her, may even pay her a few coins to make sure she won't do much as think about keeping it

>A few months passed, and he returned to king's landing with a babe in arms. Demanding an egg in honor of the birth of princess Y/N Targaryen

>This egg would later hatch into the dragon Dagahrion, the princess' bound dragon

>The court was a hot mess, according to Otto, he wouldn't be surprised if the young creature lost its left ear because of all the gossip and ill-speaking of her, just like her father. This was a scandal, considering he was still married to Rhea Royce, who he gravely dishonored time and time again, Daemon was always shameless, but this was crossing a limit, even for him, to call his bastard a princess while refusing to lay with his own rightful wife, disgraceful

>Daemon tried to use you as yet another attempt to get his brother to annul his marriage to "the bronze bitch", but even when he failed, he did everything in his power to legitimize his daughter

>Despite everyone on the council telling Viserys how foolish it'd be to do it, making enemies out of the Royce house, further insulting Rhea, and putting a whoreborn on the line of succession (no matter how far from the throne), all it took was a little yawn and the bright twinkle of your eyes to make him melt, he is fully committed to his role of uncle, even as a doting grandfather, considering his father passed long before her birth

>Viserys sent Daemon back to the Vale, saying he should do his best to give lady Rhea an heir, to make up for the slip and avoid causing the Targaryen house any more trouble. Viserys, for totally not selfish reasons wanted to keep the princess in KL, saying Rhea should not be made to raise his bastard

>Daemon said he'd rather be exiled again than to leave his daughter in Hightower hands to go try to fuck his wife. Viserys was greatly offended by the implication that the Hightowers truly ruled and schemed while he reigned

>To his outmost displeasure, he finally had to let his niece go to the Vale with her father

>Rhea loved you as soon as she set eyes on you, completely separating you from your father's actions, and seeing you as a pure angel in this horrible situation

>But it was so difficult with Daemon around, she just wanted to whisk you away and love you, she'd pray to the mother to be able to breastfeed you, crying when she heard you wail in frustration of your hunger, since it took several wet nurses to get you to drink milk

>But Daemon was always around to remind her you were not hers, that he considered her lowly, not worthy of you. He'd correct you when you learning to speak, and dared to refer to her as "mama"

>It was said the ground of the vale would shake upon them yelling when fighting over you

>But this joy to Rhea was short lived, as Daemon sent you to KL when he had to fight in the war of the stepstones, saying the "nest of vipers" was more deserving of you than she was. When you were three, your step mother had an accident while hawking, many said Daemon orderded for her to be poisoned when she was bed bound, others said the distress of your parting made her lose skill

>It was Viserys greatest pleasure when you were left at his care, his adorable baby niece was now an infant, and somehow you were even more charming, being able to speak, sing and walk

>To no one's surprise, Viserys' reaction was not generalized, with many not being keen on having a bastard running around the castle playing with the princes, by that point, Aegon was 8, Haelena was 7, Aemond was 5, and Daeron was 1, and almost all of them could see people treated you differently

>Rhaenyra was welcoming, baby Lucerys had just been born, and she was delighted to have a girl to spoil, it only helped that Jacaerys loved you as well, and would often fight his uncles for the chance to be with you

>Alicent in particular was not pleased with your presence, thinking you were an uncomfortable conversation to have with her children, especially resentful of the fact her youngest son would be attached at the hip with you

>To Otto, you were an annoyance, a living proof of Daemon's pure disregard for the norms, however, he could rest at night knowing you were ninth in the line of succession, and a girl, who would someday marry a son of a minor house and be too busy bearing children to present a claim to the iron throne

>Even though the Hightowers were tougher than the king, they did eventually succumb to your spell, and became just as enamoured with you as everyone else, in their minds, you were almost a product of spontaneous generation, completely ignoring your shameful father and prostitute mother

>Your arrival also caused the birth of Lucerys (who was again, born with a striking resemblance of Harwin Strong, just like his older brother) to be less gossiped about, after all, your case was much more interesting

>Some people in court starting referring to you as "The princess of flea bottom", this title costed quite a few tongues around the castle, ordered by Viserys, happily approved by Otto

>The Hightower hand was careful not to show too much affection to you, as it was improper and he knew how zealous was Viserys when it came to you

>Aegon was "already too old to be playing" in his words, and kept his distance from you, you reminded him to much of his sticky handed little brothers

>But as if you knew, you chased him around and praised him for his knightly demeanor (in your eyes) and how he's just like the heroes in Viserys' stories. It was not a long time before Aegon now appointed himself as your guard, watching like a hawk over his brothers and nephews when he thought they were being too rough on you

>Haelena loves you from the start, sees you as a little doll, she loves showing you her bugs, you're the only one who listens to her attentively

>Jacaerys and Daeron are only a year old, but always search for you, you think they're cute, something that spikes jealousy on Aemond, he wants you to think of him as someone worthy of admiration, like you see his older brother, he'd even accept being cute in your eyes, but he has none of those traits to appeal to you. You love him and love playing with him nonetheless, but he thinks he needs something else to win your favor

>The Velaryons dote on you too, with Laenor married to Rhaenyra and once your father marries Laena that same year, they are maybe too eager to become part of your family, and regard you as theirs

>Especially Laena, who Daemon allows (unlike with Rhea) to pamper and care for you, but still corrects you when it comes to remembering your origins, Laena may love you, but she's not your mother

>Maybe Daemon does this as a way to imagine you're only his, he doesn't care for the woman who abandoned such a precious treasure, she has been wiped away from your life and memory, you're only familiar with your father, you only belong to him

>You have his silver hair, you have his name, no matter who your mother was, you are his true valyrian heir, his dragonseed

>Unfortunately, Daemon is not the only one whose eyes light up when thinking of owning you

[dpr-stay]

Cupid | LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, reader is a press officer, don't think gender is stated specifically, implied sexual content, second chance romance, she is not edited, zhou guanyu does not crash, and there are swears.

WC: ~7.7k (kill me now)

I literally hate this, im so sorry. I haven't edited it because it's late but I hope it's not bad. I'll edit it tomorrow. also how is it so longgg, it was supposed to be 5k at best. (why have i written two fics about exes having dinner?)

Being Valtteri Bottas’ PR Agent was a wild ride. From being hired by him in his early days at Williams, to his successful years at Mercedes, and now at Alfa Romeo, you’d gotten to know the man through all stages of his career. You’d been there to field off questions about his declining performance at Mercedes and had been the first one to slam open the door and start yelling at him after the ‘cheated-on-his-wife’ rumours started floating around.

However, the paycheck was good and, when he wasn’t causing you to spend many nights in meetings about his public image, you didn’t mind the guy, happy to have to follow him around the world for most of the year.

The whole Formula One thing was also a bonus, you having been hooked on the sport after your Dad introduced it to you at an early age. You’d spent countless hours watching your dad watch the car’s speed by on his tv set, finally deciding to pay attention to the race after a few years. And boy, did you love it. 

You’d spent many an early birthday present forcing your parents to take you to the Grand Prix nearest to you, saving up for months to be able to afford the tickets and the travel. Something about the sport just intrigued pre-teen you, nothing to do with Michael Schumacher at all.

So, when the chance to be a F1 driver’s personal PR agent had landed on your advertisement agency’s desk, the place you had worked in the early days of your career, you had snatched it up quickly. The work started well before the start of the 2013 season, you having to meet the man himself and quickly getting adjusted to the many people you’d need to know to network for the guy. 

You’d also met Maldonado’s PR agent, one from the Williams team, who quickly brought up the ideas of doing interviews and press releases between the two drivers. You were swept into the world of the sport, beginning to get into the swing of things. 

Years passed, as did teammates, and Valtteri got signed to Mercedes alongside Lewis Hamilton. You didn’t know if your employment would carry over to Mercedes, but a team shirt and a letter letting you know about when Valtteri’s responsibilities started being mailed to your house confirmed it pretty quickly.

The atmosphere at Mercedes was more professional, though the team still treated each other as family. You’d often see engineers leaving together, going to go get drunk and celebrate Lewis’ common wins and Valtteri’s less common, but still happening, wins. 

You’d often spend hours at a time bargaining for spots for Valtteri in interviews and in PR related spots, and it worked. He was a well-known man, your job was practically done. The bosses were (finally) appeased, Valtteri was happy, and you could finally relax after years straight of stressing about social media and whatever the hell a vine was and if that was still relevant.

And then you’d gone and got yourself trapped in an elevator with Lewis Hamilton. 

Being a Mercedes employee, though only temporary, you’d met Lewis often during interviews and team meetings. However, you never really know a person until you spend five hours sitting opposite each other in a broken-down elevator, only being able to see each other by the light of your phone's flashlight, waiting for some sort of help as there was no signal.

Your conversation had started off hesitantly, you incredibly intimidated by the several-time world champion and him having a fleeting idea of who you were. The conversation had eventually fizzled out till the lift jolted, and a creaking sound echoed into the cavern of the contraption.

Your telling groan that you couldn’t hold back elicited a concerned “You alright?” from Lewis and then you eventually had to tell the professional F1 driver, who raced cars at over 200km/h every other weekend, about your fear of small spaces.

He hadn’t judged you for it, something which you thought was rather nice, and had even tried to adjust for you, moving to the very other side of the small box. Granted, your feet still touched, but you thought the sentiment was nice. 

He was more down to earth than you expected, you knew he wasn’t a prick but you weren’t expecting him to be… kind. Soon enough, after a few more questions about why you were afraid of small spaces and other questions, you both had spiraled into boundless conversation. 

You had talked about things you’d never talked about with someone, let alone a practical stranger, his soothing accent making it easier to open up to him. Things like the future and where it would take you, uncertainties about both your careers, even relationships, the type of conversations you only have trapped in a suspended metal box in the dark. 

Lewis was a fantastic person to talk to. He’d listen when he needed to and returned your conversation with equal energy, as though he actually wanted to be part of the conversation. For some reason he had decided to trust you and had talked freely to you, showing you a side that you doubted many people had seen.

Maybe it was the fact he couldn’t see your face or maybe you just gave off a trustworthy vibe. You didn’t know. All you knew was that, all of a sudden, you were one of Lewis Hamilton’s most trusted confidants. 

Even after someone had finally realised you were missing and exactly where you were, calling more firemen than necessary to bust open the lift though you supposed that’s what you were supposed to do when a ‘Sir’ was trapped in an elevator, Lewis had asked for your phone number and had continued to text you.

You’d met up a few times over the season, quickly becoming incredibly close friends who told each other everything. You’d had to deal with a few teases from Valtteri, who’d shut up when you reminded him who controlled the public’s opinion of him. 

During the off-season Lewis had invited you to come to his house for dinner. You’d went, it was lovely, and then you’d unknowingly experienced the moment of truth in your weird friendship/developing relationship. 

You’d been sitting at Lewis’s dinner table, eagerly chatting to the man about your family, leaning in closer and closer until the both of you were nearly leaning over the table. He’d cooked for you, an act you found incredibly sweet for the multi-millionaire who probably had ten private chefs on speed-dial, and you’d spent the evening wining and dining. 

You had both finished your main courses, talking about everything and anything when a loud bang had come from the upstairs of the man’s house. He glossed right over it, ignoring the loud sound. You had been about to comment on it but, at his nonchalance, you deigned not to. 

The conversation had continued, you both moving from his table to the couch he owned, which probably cost more than your salary earned you, when another loud sound, which sounded suspiciously like a bark, reverberated through his open-plan house. 

He sighed loudly at your questioning look, deciding that he couldn’t ignore it this time. He opened his mouth to speak but, before he could utter a syllable, the tapping of claws sounded against the stairs located, conveniently, in view of his living room. 

You looked up and there stood one of the largest Bulldogs you had ever seen. It was almost majestic, the way that he stood there on the steps, panting as though he’d just run a race. His brown coat was shining in the twilight glow, his muzzle a white colour in comparison to the rest of his body.

He took a few steps down the stairs, tripping on one before regaining his posture. You could only watch in wonder, mouth agape, as the beautiful beast padded down the steps and took a turn, approaching you head on.

The dog was a thing of beauty, his droopy face conveying no discernable emotion except from being tired. He slowly made his way to the couch, you doing nothing but watching as he trotted along the hardwood floors. You didn’t catch Lewis staring at you warily as you were only focused on the thing that younger you would’ve fought a clan of savage chipmunks in order to have.

The dog eventually made his way in front of you, plopping his behind down on the carpet and staring up at you questioningly. You didn’t know what emotion your face was conveying, you only knew it was very silent.

You cautiously reached a hand down to rub between his ears. After a second of your rubbing he made a gruff ‘woof’ sound and you couldn’t help it, an entranced whine releasing from your throat. Collapsing onto the floor beside the dog, you forgot about Lewis, focusing completely on the magnificent specimen of a dog. 

Roscoe, as you’d soon come to know via a fond Lewis, took to you as soon as you took to him. Within a minute the dog was letting you handle him as much as you’d like, rolling over on his back to let you get his stomach and vigorously licking your arm as you pet him. Praises spilled from your lips abound, making sure to let the bulldog know just how much of a good boy he was.

At a cough you turned from your spot on the floor to face Lewis, the radiant grin he had on his face making you feel as though you’d passed a test of sorts. Roscoe also turned to look at Lewis before turning back to you and huffing. 

He moved forward, stepping on your legs, trying to sit on you, before falling off the slope onto the carpet. You then picked him up and cuddled him, trying to keep eye-contact with Lewis as you did so. Lewis’ eyes had turned into half moons as he watched you love on his dog, his smile consuming his face.

“I’m glad he likes you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if he didn’t.” He admitted, placing his drink on a wooden table that stood beside the couch. He then slowly slid from the couch onto the floor beside you, leaning his body down till he was face-to-face with Roscoe and gave the dog a kiss.

“He’s got good taste.” You commented and Lewis released a laugh, glancing up at you.

“Me or the dog?” He asked after a second and you paused, overdramatically placing a finger on your chin and tilting your head as though you were thinking. You then shrugged and he laughed again, you not missing the incredibly familiar twinkle in his eye as he looked at you.

After that, you’d found that Lewis was a lot more eager to meet at his house. Roscoe, accompanied by the sheepish man, was bowling you over nearly every time the door was opened to you. Lewis had also made the trip to your house, though you doubted he’d seen a house as small as yours within the last ten years. He seemed to like it though, settling in quickly and even staying there when you were at work. The off-season had continued like that, casually building your relationship between his training and your many meetings with Alfa Romeo, trying to settle the discussions about your contract after Valtteri’s move.

You’d finally gotten somewhere just before the season started after having to plead to not be replaced by an inside hire, Valtteri backing you up and stating he wouldn’t race without you. Alfa Romeo had accepted and then you finally had the contract you’d wanted. 

You’d left the meeting, Valtteri in tow, before turning around and hugging the man for having your back before you both said goodbye and made your way home and to the gym respectively.

The uber ride you’d hired was peaceful, the man staring straight ahead as you looked out the window, your small apartment building coming into your view. You smiled as you saw it, thinking of the Lewis you’d left in bed that morning, having to pull yourself out before him to go to your meeting. 

The climb up the steps (the elevator didn’t work which Lewis hadn’t complained about when you’d explained it in embarrassment) had seemed to take forever no matter how fast you climbed. When you’d finally made it to your floor, you had to practically drag yourself across the hallway to your door, unlocking it with force after the lock had gotten stuck.

Immediately you could tell something was off, the place seemed colder than that morning and it didn;t have to do with the fact the thermostat had broken a few months ago. All the lights were off and there was no noise coming from within, a telltale sign that Lewis was somewhere within whether he was listening to music or talking to someone. 

That was ok, though, he might’ve been at a meeting like the one you’d had, though you doubted there would be less than 7 zero’s on his contract. But that’s the difference between a big team and Alfa Romeo, you work with what you get.

You looked to the side table, placing your keys in the bowl, noticing the absence of Lewis’ keys. But that made sense if he was at a training session or a meeting, so you continued into the apartment, losing components of your outerwear as you went. 

You’d lost your scarf and blazer as you’d made your way to your bedroom, prepared to change from your business outfit into one of Lewis’ many shirts when you opened your closet. A quick rummage and you couldn’t find any. Weird.

You checked again before moving to another part of your closet and noting the lack of his hoodies or jumpers, which was even weirder as you’d stolen a few of them last week. You turned and moved to your dresser, an old antique wooden piece you’d picked up from an op-shop a few years ago after seeing it and falling in love.

You’d opened your drawer specifically for pajamas and found everything you’d acquired through your time of living independently but Lewis’ shirts. Moving to the many drawers Lewis used specifically when he’d stay over, a small inkling of panic settled in your stomach however you ignored it and opened the drawer.

Nothing. There was nothing left in the drawer. You quickly opened all his other drawers, almost pulling them out of the dresser with the force you were applying. All of them were empty. This caused the inkling to grow to an uneasy pool. Maybe he’d taken them to wash them at his place?

You stepped back from the dressers, incredibly confused and vehemently denying the growing panic in you. You walked, not ran, into your bathroom. The lonely toothbrush sitting on the counter sent a strange feeling, almost like adrenaline, rushing through you. Opening the cupboards under the counter you noted the loss of his extra face wipes and the moisturizers he insisted on using. 

You ran to your kitchen, not seeing anything off, before slamming into the back of the couch in your open plan apartment in your haste to get into the living room. The action caused pain to ring through your shins but you barely registered it, the missing cd’s that normally sat on the table your tv was balancing on that he had insisted were better than Spotify the only thing you were focused on. 

A quick look down the hallway to the door of your apartment only furthered your dread, noticing details you hadn’t seen before. The missing stack of shoes that he normally toed-off at the door and the missing extra wallet he left on the side table in case someone broke in almost confirmed your fears.

But what really set in the fact that he’d packed up and left was the missing leash that normally hung from a hook you’d installed specifically on the back of your front door. The inscribed ‘Roscoe’ on the hook seemed almost mocking from your place on the couch, but you couldn’t really acknowledge it, the tears filling your eyes blurring your vision.

You stood up from the couch and stormed back into the bedroom, slamming the open drawers shut, not hearing the splintering of the vintage wood. You picked up your phone from your bed that you’d tossed earlier in your haste to become relaxed, and opened your messages.

He hadn’t sent anything to you explaining his leaving and when you went to send a text (‘??? Where are you’) the message that you’d been blocked popped up at the bottom of the screen. You could only stare at the screen for a second, the implications of what he’d done sending emotional shockwaves through you. 

You barked out a sardonic laugh, your hand flopping from its position in front of you to be held uselessly at your side, your phone slipping from your grasp onto the floor. The world went still for a moment before you lifted a hand to cover your vision, the tears slipping from your eyes wetting your hand.

You sat alone on your bed that had, not even 24 hours ago, contained what you had thought was your future. You couldn’t find it in yourself to be angry at this point, the grief for something that was evidently never meant to be controlling your thoughts. A long deep sigh left you before it was interrupted by a sob. And then another sob.

You ended up falling asleep alone that night, still dressed in the smart pants and white shirt you’d worn to your meeting. Your only lullaby was your sobbing, not the sound of his gentle humming, something which you kept reminding yourself of. 

Valtteri had commented that you’d seemed sad the next time he’d seen you but neither of you had addressed it past that, him knowing when to keep his mouth shut. He especially knew to shut up after the intense glare you had fixed him. 

The season had started again and, while you were prepared for your duties as a PR agent, Valtteri’s full calendar being proof enough for that, you weren’t sure you were prepared to see Lewis again. Especially after the news that he was already seeing someone else had come out a week before the first race.

You’d returned Valtteri’s knowing glance with as much strength as you could muster and promptly ignored his further pitying look, choosing to feel sorry for yourself at home that night. You’d also ignored his attempts to try to get you to talk to Tiffany, you liked the woman but you didn’t think you should burden her with your ridiculous, because that’s what it was looking back, delusions that you could’ve been something more than just a summer fling to Lewis Hamilton.

You’d successfully managed to avoid Lewis the whole first couple of races, eventually beginning to see fleeting glances of him throughout the paddock. Seeing him for the first time with his partner had hurt but, looking at her, you couldn’t exactly blame him.

She was gorgeous and, after you’d done a bit of searching, was exactly his previous type. She was wealthy and had a respectable job, someone worthy of being with him. You’d made sure to avoid him after that.

You kept on at work though, determined to be the best goddamn PR Agent Alfa Romeo had ever seen. And you were succeeding. Valtteri was getting brand deals and after more positive press around him and his dedication to the sport regardless of his company, you were finally able to relax. 

And by relaxing, you meant getting wasted at a bar. In fairness, last time you’d relaxed you’d ended up more broken hearted than you’d ever been, so releasing some steam at a bar had seemed an appropriate route.

And it was, being able to drink away your sorrows and spill your guts out to a bartender in a small rundown pub in the middle of Canada was the perfect way to unwind. You hadn’t told the whole story of course, you resented the guy for what he did to you but you didn’t want to tarnish his reputation, but it was nice to tell it to some random person who probably didn’t even understand the way you were switching between Swedish, English, and Finnish. 

You’d woken up the next morning with a heavy weight off your shoulders and a nice Canadian man in your hotel bed, sending him off with a promise to call before promptly adding his phone number to your phone. Valtteri could tell something had changed when you’d walked into his driver’s room the next day, prepared to tell him about his schedule. You greeted his questioning look with a smirk and he shook his head, a disbelieving look on his face.

You’d found that you hadn’t thought about Lewis the whole day, when you’d settled into your hotel bed the night after the race. A warm feeling had spread through you at that, the knowledge that the man no longer consumed your thoughts making you feel good inside.

The next race weekend you were ready to go, the British GP making you pumped. You weren’t so pumped when Valtteri DNF’ed and were mentally preparing answers for the Finn as the race continued, briefing him on every response you could think of in relation to the gearbox issue. Zhou Guanyu did well in his race though, so the garage was quite excited for him, even though Valtteri hadn’t finished.

When the interviews had rolled around after all of the celebrations, you were following Valtteri on the walk to his first interview, eventually stopping to the side of him as a mic was held in front of him and the cameras had started rolling. 

Typical questions such as if he was happy for his teammate and if he was happy with the car were asked, some weirder questions such as if he thought the car’s not-working had to do with some obscure political issue before eventually the interview was wrapped up and the Finn moved on to his next interview, you following him.

You could see other drivers beginning to arrive in the area, being interviewed before you quickly looked away, not wanting to see if he was close. You’d managed to avoid him thus far today, how hard could a few more hours be?

You’d thought that before you heard the faint but tell-tale bark of Roscoe and you had to force yourself not to turn around and run to the dog. Lewis had mentioned bringing the dog to his home race at some point while you were together, so you weren’t exactly surprised at Roscoe’s presence. 

Valtteri’s interview was continuing in the background of your mind as you thought over the nights you’d spent cuddled with Roscoe and Lewis. Did you miss him or Lewis more? Did Lewis even miss you?

Valtteri nudged you in the side, his eyes wide and you snapped back to reality, staring at the interviewer.

“Pardon?” You asked, politely trying to make it seem as though you just hadn’t heard them and were paying attention.

“I just asked if Valtteri preferred Mercedes or Alfa Romeo.” The interviewer filled in and you turned to Valtteri, a questioning look on your face. Surely he could handle that question? He vehemently shook his head. Alrighty then.

You brought out both your hands in front of you, prepared to gesture out an answer for Valtteri to say. But before you could a large force had pounded into your back, knocking you to the floor and landing on top of you. The weight was heavy but it was warm and… was it licking you? “Roscoe! Oh my god, I am so sorry!” A voice came from behind you.

Oh no.

While you had been mentally preparing an answer for Valtteri, Lewis had been walking around the media area, Roscoe in tow on a leash. The dog had been restless ever since he’d entered the pen, Lewis echoing that sentiment as he saw a brief glimpse of you. He wanted nothing more than to run to you but he couldn’t with media responsibilities weighing him down.

Eventually the interviewer’s fill of Roscoe was full and he was able to do a little bit of wandering around the area. Lewis had handed the leash of the now-agitated Roscoe to Angela as he went to go answer some more questions, the press incredibly curious about the dynamics of the car.

Angela, bless her soul, had tried her best to wrangle the dog, but his continuous pulling and barking was beginning to annoy some of the media. Seeing this, Angela had decided to just let the dog pull her away, Roscoe almost dragging her as he went. 

He had pulled her almost completely across the room before he got too violent and managed to rip the leash from her hands, leaving Angela stumbling in the dust as he began to run. Lewis had watched this happen, and continued to watch in horror as Roscoe ran up behind you.

One gigantic leap and you were pushed to the floor, the big bulldog nuzzling into your neck. The world seemed to almost go quiet before Angela ran over, trying to grab the collar of the rabid dog, asking if you were ok.

Lewis had started to move over, dismissing the reporter who he was talking to as he made his way to his dog and his ex-lover. He saw you roll over on the floor, a small sad smile on your face as the dog began slobbering over you. A few more steps and he was in front of you, scolding Roscoe and apologising as he effortlessly grabbed the dog’s collar and pulled him back.

You tried not to look in his eyes, knowing all your effort of trying to get over him would be null if you saw his face. You ignored the hand he extended, instead smoothing down your clothes as you sat on the floor, only pulling yourself up when he awkwardly lowered his hand, framing it as if you just didn’t see.

He knew though, he’d developed the unfortunate skill of reading you.

You didn’t look at him as you assured him you were fine and that he should continue with his interviews, only sparing a glance at Angela who looked at you with a regretful hint in her eyes. You didn’t want to think about that more than you had to, waving them off to more interviews. 

You turned around before you could see Lewis leave, thankfully not seeing the longing he had displayed over his face as he turned away, back to his interviews. 

Would you have been able to hold it together if you’d seen the look he’d shot you? No. Were you when you watched it back after the weekend? Also no.

You turned back to Valtteri, cracking a quick joke, before he got back to his interviews. You spent the rest of that day picking gravel out of your palms, trying to forget about the whole interaction. You wouldn’t let this break your progress, the handsome Canadian man in your contacts getting a ring that night as you tried to distract yourself.

After a few days of you cursing Roscoe for trying to see you while also feeling as though you should arrange some sort of custody agreement so you could see the beautiful beast, a notification had popped up on your phone. It was a recommended tweet, a news article about how Lewis had apparently split from his “new fling”. 

That sent you spiraling, questioning why on earth the algorithm had thought to show you this and wondering what you’d done wrong in your past life in order for this to be what was happening to you.

You’d only become more confused a day later, when Angela had sent you an email, saying that Lewis would like to meet up and apologise because of the media backlash. The thing was you’d seen no media backlash, people just finding the dog's enthusiasm funny. 

If there was any sort of trouble, you’d have seen it, it was your job after all, so you were left sitting on your couch, pondering what was the point of the meeting she was trying to set up.

You’d aired the email for a few days, wondering what you should do. You wanted to say yes, to talk to Lewis again and ask him what had happened, but you didn’t want to get hurt again. And you knew you’d be hurt when you saw him doing perfectly fine without you.

The fact that Angela was waiting for you to respond didn’t cross your mind till you received a text from an unknown number, politely asking you to respond. The older woman had waited till she knew you’d read the text, about five minutes, before sending a more desperate text. That had your eyebrows raising unwillingly, confused about why she had sent three “please”’s in one paragraph.

Regardless you fell victim to knowing how hard it was to try and manage a driver's personal and professional commitments and said yes. Only because you felt bad for Angela was what you kept telling yourself.

Eventually the day had come and you were dreading it, lying on your couch until the last second possible. The thought of canceling had popped through your head multiple times but it was too late now. The only way you could back out is if an emergency happened or you died on the way to the private restaurant Angela had insisted on booking, saying that even though the meeting was supposed to be platonic, it shouldn’t be aired to the public.

A deep sigh left you as you pulled yourself up and walked to your bedroom, dressing yourself in business clothes. You wanted to put effort in, but knowing that you’d definitely be embarrassed if you showed up glammed out and he showed up in a shirt and jeans, you decided against it. It was a business dinner anyway, simply to smooth over a wrong that had been committed against you. 

But it wasn’t a wrong, it was Roscoe pushing you over, which could hardly be considered a wrong and was more the dog testing the things he could get away with.

The real wrong was what Lewis had done to you. You hoped that you could get through the ordeal without talking about it, showing up and then posting a picture to Lewis’s instagram or something about how it was all good to appease the critics.

Except there were no critics, it was just Lewis wanting to have dinner with you. Or maybe it was just Angela trying to meddle. Maybe he was going to try to apologise for him ghosting you? You didn’t know if you would accept it.

You might’ve been able to accept it if he’d been honest from the start, telling you that he wouldn’t want you past the end of the break so you could quickly shut down the relationship before it started and move on with your life.

A thought that’d you always try to flush from your mind sprung to the front of it as you wondered. Maybe you were being too harsh. You’d never explicitly expressed what you were, maybe you had just been overthinking it the whole time you were together. Or rather, not together. 

But that would’ve been unfair to you anyways, you reassured yourself. Him letting you get a taste of his future before exempting you from it was a cruel thing to do to anyone.

A ring from your phone let you know that you should’ve been out the door at this point. You quickly cursed before grabbing your essentials and running to your entryway, pulling your shoes on, before grabbing your keys from the side table. 

After locking your door, you ran down the stairs to your apartment building and hailed a taxi. Luckily traffic wasn’t too bad, so you were able to arrive at the restaurant on time, quickly hurrying inside and getting led to your table.

You never had to worry about being late though, as Lewis wasn’t there when you got to the private booth. It was fine, he came from the other side of town so he’d probably only be a few minutes late.

It was about twenty minutes later you’d sighed and decided to ring Angela. Ironically, she didn’t pick up. You couldn’t help the bark of a laugh that left your throat, shaking your head at the sad reality of your situation.

Ghosted by two members of Mercedes. Maybe it was a good idea for Valtteri to move when he had, otherwise they may have just stopped picking up the phone. You gave him ten more minutes before trying Angela again. The same response. 

At this point you were sick of being made the fool of. Perhaps it was your fault for believing your dispute could be resolved, your fault for believing you were worth showing up for. You stood up with a pressure at the back of your eyes and began the walk from the private booth all the way at the back of the swanky restaurant to the exit.

Before you got even five meters from your table, the door to the restaurant slammed open. Everyone turned to stare at the heavily breathing world champion as he took a second to recoup himself. He didn’t let himself look at anyone in the restaurant as he straightened his suit and turned to the host, who looked a little shell shocked. A quick exchange later and the host stepped back from the little podium he was stood behind. 

You quickly scampered back to your seat, making it just in time and plastering an unimpressed look over your face. Looking back up, you could see Lewis scanning all the patrons of the premises before his eyes paused and locked onto you. 

The simple action of making eye-contact, a luxury which you had refused yourself during your bump with Roscoe, sent a lick of emotion down your spine. You couldn’t exactly read his face, you didn’t know what he was choosing to display or doing unwittingly after being played by him for months, but you believed he was relieved. 

When he arrived at the table he waved off the host with a small ‘thanks’ before sitting down in the seat opposite to you. It was silent for a few seconds, you both continuing eye contact. You were trying to find anything you could recognise in his eyes while he was just looking at you, at your face. 

“I’m sorry for being so late.” He spoke finally, a slight tilt growing at the corners of his lips. You didn’t respond and the awkwardness won him over after a few more seconds, something that was quite uncharacteristic of him. He coughed.

“The lift wouldn’t work, I’d left my keys, then no one would pull over. I tried to call you but my phone died, so I just ran trying to get here.” He said and averted his eyes, a mannerism you’d recognised as a nervous tick the couple of times you’d seen it. You didn’t know how to reply so you let your emotions take hold.

“Your call wouldn’t have gone through.” You said blankly and he looked back to you, before chuckling awkwardly. You didn’t find it funny.

“You would’ve had to unblock me first.” You needlessly elaborated, getting some sadistic enjoyment out of the way the man squirmed. He continued his awkward laughing, you joining in to laugh sardonically.

You didn’t know where this feeling, of needing him to a sliver of the uncomfortableness he’d caused you, had come from. The feeling you got from his discomfort wasn’t pleasure though, it felt empty as though it was pointless in the long run. You supposed it was, he wouldn’t remember you in a few years and your small petty actions wouldn’t even matter when he married the princess of some country. 

He cleared his throat, drawing your attention from your musings to his face.

“I wanted to apologise.” He stated bluntly and you raised an eyebrow. Yeah, no shit. He caught your expression and winced. 

“I should’ve had Roscoe on a tighter leash and not have given him to Angela. It was my fault-” You tuned him out as he continued, shaking your head in disbelief. Yeah sure, it was why the meeting had been arranged, but you’d genuinely thought he might’ve talked about the elephant in the room at some point. Maybe you were judging harshly though. Maybe after a few minutes he’d start talking about the model he’d piped the other day or the Albanian billionaire who wanted to be his sugar mommy.

You’d forgotten that he could read you like a book and had stopped when he realised you were no longer paying attention. He reached over the table to wave a hand in front of your eyes, an action that was very rude, and you reacted accordingly. You turned to face him, affronted, and he smiled at your expression before his face turned serious and he breathed a deep breath.

“I didn’t know if you’d want to talk about what had happened.” He said finally, staring down at the table, and you scoffed, crossing your arms in front of your buttons. You started to talk, the words leaving your mouth before you could properly think about them, hurt blurring your thoughts.

“Of course I would love to recount the time I came home and I found my place ransacked.” You said, the fakeness of your enthusiasm leaking into your words causing him to flinch.

“I’d love to talk about the messages I sent you before I realised I’d been blocked. Sure, let’s talk about how, not even two weeks after telling me you thought we’d have a future together, you’d completely left me, without a word of discussion.” You finally let out, almost strangling your throat closed so as to not let more of the hurt out. This was a work-related dinner after all and you didn’t want to draw more attention than Lewis already had.

His face had fallen, an incredibly unfamiliar look coating his face and you tried to stop yourself before you spoke, trying to tame the biting uncertainties in your head.

“Was it because I’d moved companies?” You questioned and he looked up. “Should I not have followed Valtteri?” Your question floated in the air and he shook his head, a sorrowful expression taking over his face.

“Then why?” You asked after a second and he paused, not responding. You, tired of his silence, thought about all the reasons you’d gone over in your head, and settled on the one that made the most sense to you. Looking back, it was probably the most unrealistic, but it made sense to the angry and sad mindset you had.

“Was it because I couldn’t afford everything?” His head snapped up, shock colouring his features. “I could’ve moved to a new apartment if it bothered you, having to stay over at my place. I knew you didn’t do a lot of things that break because I couldn’t pay, but you could’ve told me if you wanted to. I do have a savings account I could’ve dipped into.” You said quietly, looking down at the table, all the fight having been sapped from your body. 

You were tired. You didn’t know what the time difference was between you and Canada, but you were sure that you could set an alarm and wake up to spill your guts to the stranger, it was better than telling anyone you knew. 

Lewis called your name but you didn’t look up from the table, hoping to not see any form of confirmation in his eyes. He reached a hand over the table, this time to not be rude but to lift your chin up and look in your eyes. He contemplated for a second before speaking softly.

“I thought it was what you wanted.” He said and you reared back, completely shocked before he continued.

“You kept going to meetings with Alfa Romeo and I thought it was your subtle way of telling me to fuck off. You know, that you had more important things to worry about than a driver from your old company. We’d never talked about what we were and I just thought…” He paused for a second here, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at the wall before looking back into your eyes.

“I thought I could bite the bullet, leave before you could tell me to go. And it worked in the end, you’ve been doing exceptionally well. I haven’t seen a bad story about Valtteri in months.” He said and withdrew his hand as he leaned back against the chair behind him.  You processed his words for a moment before he cleared his throat, drawing you back to look at him.

“I would never, by the way.” He disclosed quietly and you tilted your head. He continued. “I don’t mind if you have the money or not, for that break your apartment was the best place for me.” 

The use of the present tense threw you off for a second, leaving you to rearrange yourself in your seat and clear your throat as you thought of a response. You couldn’t, opening your mouth but no words coming out. He’d stunned you into silence. You finally found your voice after steeling yourself for a second. “W-what about umm… what was her name?” You asked, a stutter permeating your words. He just sighed, letting his head fall slack to stare at the table. 

“It was a mistake.” He said quietly, and guilt for the poor girl rushed through you. “I thought that after I’d let you go I should at least try to find something as a replacement.” He looked up at you.

“I couldn’t though, no one could match to you. But I couldn’t leave her without a reason.” 

He leaned further back in his seat, his voice terse as he spoke. “She gave me plenty of reason after I caught her in bed with her ex.” You winced at the tone of his voice and gave him a second to collect his thoughts. Even if he was trying to break it off, it’s never a good feeling to be cheated on. 

You spoke up after a second, trying to clear the silence between you and deciding he should know about your fling after you’d ended if this dinner was going to way you thought it was.

“I met a man in Canada.” You said hesitantly and you saw his shoulders drop.

“Oh.” He said quietly, before shaking himself out as if he was a cat and plastering a smile on his face. Lewis made eye-contact and asked you a question.

“What’s his name?” Fake-enthusiasm permeated his question, as though he was trying to hide his disappointment. 

You didn’t want to address that, though you knew you had to. Could you take him back? You didn’t know for sure if he would leave you again, which scared you. The whole idea of taking him back scared you, though the thought of more time with him that wasn’t spent trying to avoid looking his way made you hopeful. You tried not to feel that way, knowing that you shouldn’t base your happiness on the man.

But he had apologised and explained his reasoning. As much as you wanted to curse him out for not talking with you, it did make sense. Feelings of inadequacy were present in every person, no matter how remarkable they were.

Look at you, already being hypocritical over your own words. You’d said you didn’t know if you’d take him back, but now you were already planning it. Was that pathetic? You didn’t like to think it was, but maybe you were wrong, ignoring your dignity in favour of the man.

God, if only the world was more simple and less complicated. If only you hadn’t gotten locked in an elevator, if only Roscoe hadn’t been as adorable as he was, if only you’d said no to this dinner. If only you’d just talked about your feelings from the start instead, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

Too late now though, you supposed, snapping back to the present and leveling eye-contact with Lewis. You contemplated your words, knowing they’d probably either be the start or the end of your time with him.

“I don’t remember.” You said finally, staring at Lewis’ face as a smile that he tried to contain spread over it.

“You don’t remember his name?” He asked, almost trying to confirm his words and you shook your head. He couldn’t control his smile, trying to mask it behind a cough. You only started to grin in response, looking into his eyes as they slowly turned back into half-moons.

A cleared-throat startled you both out of your bubble and you turned to the waiter, who looked as if he had just watched a soap opera play out in front of him. He awkwardly held out menus to the both of you and you quickly accepted them, apologising for making him stand awkwardly for so long.

When he’d left you both had looked at each other and exchanged smiles. The dinner had continued and it was as lovely as Lewis himself. That is to say, very lovely. 

After paying and making the walk to Lewis’ house, you both stumbled into Lewis’ abode, not able to keep your hands off of each other. However a large obstacle had stopped you from taking it further, namely the heavy weight of the british bulldog that decided to settle himself on top of you the second you’d walked through the door.

You could barely hear Lewis’s laughter over the sound of Roscoe licking the side of your face, you muffling your own laughter into the carpet. 

When you’d next seen Valtteri, he’d only taken one glance at your neck before shooting you a smirk, the knowing glance he had on his face making you roll your eyes as you pushed him to his interviews.

i got stuck halfway through but i just wanted it overrrr. Hopefully it's not too bad, let me know in the comments.

[dazz-linglight]

Will you marry me?

(college-student!Park Seonghwa x Office worker!reader) feat. Students!Ateez

One shot // Absolute Fluffy

(this story is based on a dream I had last night, it was very cute 🥺 🥺)

You met Park Seonghwa during a college party when you were in your last year of studying business administration, while he was starting his first year of computer science. You being a social butterfly met one of his friends Wooyoung, who is also an extrovert and introduced you to his group of friends, all with different personalities, but they got along very well. You were enchanted by Seonghwa pretty quickly, by his calm demeanor and cute smile, you couldn't help but pick an interest in the tall man and he seemed to reciprocate, making efforts to keep a conversation with you and after a while he asked for your number.

You didn't think that night would be so important, but soon became the night you met your future lover. You spent a few days texting him and occasionally seeing him around the campus, until he officially asked you out on a date. He picked you up in his car and brought you to a coffee shop by the evening, you two shared a red velvet cake, he drank bubble tea and you matcha latte and talked about life. You felt truly happy around him and he always had a smile on his lips when he is around you. He gave you that feeling you will never forget.

The sun fell and the night came, so you decided it was time to go. Seonghwa drove you back to the campus and parked his car close by your dorm, getting out first to open the door of your side and help you come out.

"Thank you for today, Seonghwa.. I enjoyed a lot." You walk to your dorm door side by side with Seonghwa, fiddling with the tip of your blouse, not looking at him directly. You felt a bit nervous to what would come next.

"Me too, it's always special for me to spend time with you." Seonghwa had many thoughts running through his head, but one specifically was louder.

"Can I have a kiss?" He asked in a low tone, looking in your eyes as he was standing in the front of your dorm, bringing you home after you third date. The question was so simple yet irregular.. not because you haven't been kissed before but because he was the first person to ask. You felt a bit overwhelmed with happinnes flooding your senses, that tears weld up in your eyes. He didn't know what was going on your head, so your lack of answer and current expression made him panic.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" He with worry in his eyes brought you back to the moment and you stepped closer to kiss his lips gently. He held you closer and you whispered by his ear "You're perfect."

You both were willing to give each other anything and everything. A kiss? what bliss, of course! You became each other's comfort space, and in that space, things just fall into place. Two souls completely transparent to each other became one.

_____________________________________________

That serendipitous friendship that grew into a stronger feeling of a romance with each passing day. The two of you started meeting regularly at the library, initially to study but eventually just to talk and spend time together. You found Seonghwa's enthusiasm for coding and technology infectious, while Seonghwa admired your ability to balance the hectic schedule with grace. You often discussed dreams and aspirations. You talked about your goal of working for a prestigious company, climbing the corporate ladder, and making a significant impact in the business world. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was passionate about creating something of his own—a tech startup that would revolutionize the industry.

The bond between you deepened each day as you supported each other through life challenges. You helped Seonghwa navigate through the complexities of university life, offering him valuable advice on time management and academic success. In return, Seonghwa provided you with a fresh perspective on your life and business ideas, often suggesting innovative tech solutions that could enhance your projects.

_________________________________________

As the end of the academic year approached, you faced the daunting task of finding a job, attending numerous interviews, networked tirelessly, and prepared meticulously for each opportunity. Seonghwa, although still a freshman, offered her unwavering support, often staying up late to help you practice for interviews and refine your resume.

On weekends, you both explored places together, going for coffee, attending networking events, and going around the city. One friday evening, after a particularly grueling day of interviews, Seonghwa took you to a quiet spot on campus where you could see the city lights twinkling in the distance.

“I’m really going to miss this place,” You said quietly, voice tinged with a bit of nostalgia. “But I’m excited for the future.” You smiled softly, turning to look at your boyfriend.

“You’re going to do great, princess. Any company will be lucky to have you." Seonghwa replied, his eyes filled with admiration for you.

At that moment, the air seemed to shift and Seonghwa took a deep breath and, with a nervous smile, said, “But I'm not excited to not seeing you here everyday.” You giggled like a little girl, feeling butterflies on your stomach.

_______________________________________

A while after your graduation, you received a job offer at a prestigious financial firm. The job was more than you had hoped for—challenging, rewarding, and full of opportunities for growth. You thrived in your new role, rising step by step due to your dedication and expertise. Meanwhile, Seonghwa continued to excel in his studies, always keeping you updated on his progress.

During one of your visits back to campus, Seonghwa introduced you to a group of friends with whom he had been working on a startup idea. They were a talented bunch, each one bringing a unique skill set to the table. Seonghwa and his friends had a vision of creating a tech company that would develop cutting-edge software solutions for businesses, they nomitated the project as 'ATEEZ CYBER SOLUTIONS'.

One of his friends, Hongjoong, showed you a presentation about the project, talking about their ideas and plans for the future company. You were impressed by their passion and ambition and offered to help them with the business plan, drawing from your own experience and knowledge. So together, all of you worked to refine the ATEEZ project, preparing for the day when they could turn their dream into reality.

__________________________________________________

A few years went by and Seonghwa's graduation approached, the startup team was ready to launch their own company. They matured the project together and worked hard to gather initial funding, developed a prototype of their software and were eager to bring their product to market. Seonghwa’s excitement was palpable, but he couldn’t shake the nervousness about what the future held for both his career and his relationship with you.

One friday, after a long day of final exams, Seonghwa called you. “I’ll pick you up at work later for a surprise. ” he said, his voice filled with anticipation. You sensed the imporntace of his words and felt a mixture of excitement and anxiety. You couldn’t wait to see him and get to know what the said surprise is.

When Seonghwa arrived at parking lot of your work building, he seemed both nervous and exhilarated. He took you home and told you to get a bag of clothes and beach wear. He took you to you on a car trip to a beach house in a city 2 hours away from where you live to spend the weekend. You spent the first night exploring the city, visiting a famous restaurant, later going back to the house he rented. He held your hand to bring you to the balcony and showed you the pretty view of the sea at night, the ambiance perfect for a heartfelt conversation.

"Oh my, Seonghwa.. This is so pretty!" You didn't see the beach often since you live a bit far from it, you get impressed everytime.

“Princess,” Seonghwa called for you, squeezing your hand in his and you faced him. “these past years have been incredible. I’ve seen you grow into this amazing, successful woman, and I couldn’t be prouder. You’ve always supported me, believed in me, and I can’t imagine my life without you." Your heart raced as you listened to his words.

“Now that I’m about to graduate and we’re launching the startup, I feel like it’s the right time to take the next step in our relationship. I want us to build a future together, not just in our careers, but in our lives too.” You could see the sprinkle of tears appearing by the sides of his eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. Opening it, he revealed a beautiful ring. “Would you give me the honor of marrying you?”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at the man before you, the one you had grown to love deeply and truly. Without any hesitation, you nodded and said “Yes, Seonghwa. Of course, I will marry you.”

You jumped to hug him tightly in your arms, Seonghwa sighed and squeezed your waist, bringing you to his chest to spin you around.

The engagement marked the beginning of an exciting new chapter in your lives. Balancing the demanding careers and planning a wedding was no simple, but the two of you faced each challenge together with unwavering commitment and love.

You continued to work hard at your job, taking on more responsibilities and gaining recognition for her contributions. Your expertise in business administration proved invaluable to Seonghwa's startup, which began to gain traction in the tech industry. You often collaborated on strategies, with you providing insights on market trends and financial planning while Seonghwa worked on product development and innovation.

Despite the busy schedules, you always made time for each other, ensuring that the relationship remained a priority in your lives. You moved in together and enjoyed quiet evenings at home, exploring new hobbies and planning for the future. The love bond grew stronger as you supported each other through the highs and lows.

_______________________________________________

The wedding day came and it was a beautiful cerimony on the same beach house where Seonghwa proposed, the party was intimate, attended by the closest family and friends. A real celebration of love, resilience and the journey you had undertaken together. As you exchanged vows, you both promised to continue supporting and cherishing each other, no matter what the future brings ahead.

With their wedding behind them, you and Seonghwa focused on building the future together. The ATEEZ startup, now officially launched, began to attract attention from investors and first clients. With Seonghwa’s leadership and technical expertise, combined with your business acumen, proved to be a winning combination.

Gradually, you took on a more active role in the company, initially as a side job as financial consultant but eventually joining the team full-time as the Chief Financial Officer a year later. Your strategic vision and financial management skills were crucial in securing additional funding and scaling the business. Under the joint leadership, the company grew rapidly, earning accolades for its innovative solutions and customer-centric approach.

As the company expanded, so did your and Seonghwa's dreams. He envisioned creating a workplace that not only thrived on innovation but also prioritized employee well-being and community impact. You implemented policies that fostered a positive work culture, emphasizing diversity, inclusion, and work-life balance. The company became known not just for its cutting-edge technology but also for its commitment to making a difference in the lives of its employees and the community.

You and Seonghwa grew professionally and personally, becoming a powerful couple who loved each other very much. Years ago, you didn't expect that destiny was preparing such a great future for your life. You were once a young lady entering the university with dreams and you ended up meeting the love of your life and working together for a bigger purpose.

___________________________________________

With the moon glowing by the horizon, you and Seonghwa stood hand in hand on the rooftop of ATEEZ office building. The company had just celebrated their 1 year anniversary. The party was over, but the rooftop was still adorned with twinkling fairy lights, drinks and decorations, a symbol of the journey they had embarked upon together. Seonghwa glanced at you, eyes sparkling with a mixture of love and pride.

“Remember when we started this?” He said softly, leaning his head over your head. “It was just the two of us and a dream.” He smiled, wrapping his arm around you to hug you close. “And now, look at us. A big team, our own office, and changing lives. The journey had been far from easy. There were late nights, moments of doubt, and countless challenges." He thought loudly.

"But through it all, we had each other." You completed his sentence, looking back at the past year and everything that happened. Love was the cornerstone of your success, providing the strength and inspiration you both needed to push forward.

From across the rooftop, the original team members Hongjoong, Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang, San, Wooyoung and Jongho watched the couple in quiet admiration. They had seen firsthand the dedication and passion that you and Seonghwa poured into work and their relationship. This synergy had fostered a family-like atmosphere in the company, making it a place where everyone felt valued and motivated.

Seonghwa reached into his pocket and pulled out a small blue box. You watched in surprise as he opened it to reveal a delicate necklace, a silver pendant shaped like a key. “For you,” he whispered, fastening it around her neck. “The key to my heart and our future.”

Seonghwa never failed to make you emotional with happiness, a tear falling down your eye as you leaned in and kissed him softly. “Here’s to many more years,” you said, reaching for two glasses of champagne.

“Together.” You toasted with big smiles as the city lights twinkled below and they stood embraced, knowing that whatever the future held, they would face it side by side, their love and partnership as unbreakable as ever.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi Chai,

Since I know you are not a transmisogynist, what are some of your favorite transfem characters or characters you hc as transfem?

Btw this is the Malva anon again, I've been sending asks more than once but I realized I may be a regular asker now lol

GL with Bluesky

*Rubs hands eagerly*. Gladly! Let's talk about some ladies!

Rachel Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life

My friend and I were watching this in VC the other night and Rachel's probably my favorite example of how to "trans" a character, especially one that's been around for a long time, right. Nothing about it feels shoehorned or asspulled or like it was done to appease a board somewhere. Ralph's defining characteristic throughout Rocko's original run was being absolutely miserable all the time, no matter how much success in life he achieved, and so when we learn that he went off soul searching and discovered Rachel was the answer? It made perfect, beautiful sense.

Rachel's just...amazing. She's dry as ever, but unflappably confident. She's Ralph at perfect peace, and the journey we see the Bighead family go on? Bev's immediate acceptance, Ed's tearful epiphany that that little tadpole who damaged his retina is still right in front of him, and the three of them hugging? God, this part of the special was so good. Rachel's so good.

Also, I ship her with Rocko like whoa.

2. Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler

I freaking love Grell. She's absolutely nuts, has an awesome design and a kickass weapon, and was surprisingly poignant and not-meanspirited considering the time period the show came out in. I love how the English dub has her give a kind of orgasmic bird squawk every time something goes right for her. 10/10, would support every last one of her woman's wrongs.

(Incidentally, Grell's one of the reasons it annoys me when people call me transmysogynist based off my opinions on Arcee, because let me tell you, I did my tour of duty back during the Grell Wars.)

3. Jerry/Daphne from Some Like it Hot

First of all, this movie's amazing and if you haven't watched it and don't know the very famous ending, go remedy that right now. And then chase it with this fic. I'll wait.

I'm firmly in the camp that believes Jerry/Daphne is genderfluid, and holy cow, is this a lovely little story of self-discovery and falling in love. It's just so special to me. It makes me smile like a damn fool every single time.

4. Fem!Shep from Mass Effect

Okay, this one's kind of cheating because Shepards are customizable and can be anything you want, but I loved the idea from the get-go. That's in part because fem!Shep's model still moves like male!Shep, and it's especially noticeable when she sits, but it also just kind of feels fitting with a lot of the dialogue options. In conclusion, my Shepard was great and I need to replay that game with Legendary Edition because I miss her deeply.

5. Maevaris Tilani from Dragon Age

Mae's wonderful on so many levels and she's a character I'm very excited to meet face-to-face in Veilguard. She's stunning, an absolute powerhouse, she's good friends with my my beloved Dorian, and her relationship with her late chubs hubby was beautiful. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be romanceable, but if she was, I think my Rook would be doomed.

6. Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

This movie's a treasure and so is Hana. I like that she's old, she's stubbly, she doesn't pass flawlessly, but by god, if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's her.

7. Angel from Rent

Another genderfluid character! At least, that's my best guess. I've always loved that we have no fucking clue exactly what flavor of genderqueer Angel is, that not even the cast seems unanimous on it.

I loved Rent when I was younger, thought it was so deep and profound, and it's kinda not but Angel was easily my favorite character. Still is.

8. The Laughing Cow and the Lactaid Cow

They're cows that don't have udders and they're gay and in love, I don't make the rules.

9. Anode and Lug

Transfem lesbian bots from RiD's (the comic run IDW Arcee is from) much more competently written sister series, they're a demonstration of how to do it right. I like that one transitioned medically and the other didn't. Anode features very prominently in my Arcee fix-it fic and I grew very attached to her while writing it.

10. Marco from Star vs. the Forces of Evil

I'm gonna level with you, I never actually watched this show. But I was very invested in this one back in the day and disappointed when it never came true.

Honorable mention: Art the Clown from Terrifier

While I don't exactly headcanon Art as transfem, there's a fic on ao3 that explored the idea and I kind of dug it. I could see Art much younger, with many possible futures laid out, and that being one of them. I think if something fundamental hadn't broken in his soul/brain, he would have been either trans or a fruity old drag queen, happy as a clam.

Mind you, this is all fanon talk. My jaw would hit the floor with horror if this became canon and Art would go straight on the pile of characters I get yelled at for "misgendering" because if I refuse to swallow rotten food.

[andthemaidenfair]

I don't think that they needed to change Blood & Cheese so much. I think it was horrifying in the show but that's not the issue. I think taking Helaena's choice out of the equation is a baffling decision. They didn't even have to include Maelor it could have been that she was asked to choose between the twins and they killed the boy after she made the agonizing choice to save him. Either way I was wondering why they didn't include Maelor in the show and was thinking maybe it was just streamlining or not wanting to have another child actor on set (which makes sense) but then I thought of something else.

Removing Maelor from the show and killing off Jeahaerys instead creates a situation that takes Aegon's succession back to square one in a sense. His only heir is a girl and the second in line is his scary and impulsive brother. Of course it's not exactly the same since Helaena is still alive and they are both young and haven't shown any signs of not being able to conceive again but I think it puts the people siding with Aegon just because they don't want a woman to be on the throne into a different light. This is basically the exact set up that lead to the current crisis and without a new male heir in the cradle it could easily mean another crisis exactly like this one in a generation or two. Meanwhile even if the lords don't want Rhaenyra to sit the throne she has many sons that could be king if the succession just passes through her. It's actually super similar the the crisis that the Dance opens with at the Great Council. Choose a male heir with no living sons yet or a female heir with a living son to pass the throne to. To me it seems that in this context choosing Aegon on hardline male primogeniture grounds is choosing to willing beat your head against the same wall forever without ever stopping to ask why. I mean this situation has now come to some sort of a head for two generations in a row. There are no good reasons to choose that path for a third time straight.

[cementcornfield]

The flaws in the team - is this fixable in one offseason?

I’m worried they’re gonna see how close some games were and talk themselves out of making necessary changes 😕

god. i have no idea. the thing is that the bengals have always had this reputation, and it's a fair one for the most part. but as a new fan, i've only been experiencing these good years. (became aware of them during the super bowl, really got into them the next season. luckily became a fan right around when they went on a 10 game win streak so like, i wasn't aware this team DID lose?? and now look at me.)

i think, if you want to be Fair, the front office and organization HAVE been making changes. selling the stadium naming rights, making an in-season trade, paying joe the most guaranteed money they've ever paid, these are all steps in the right direction. but you can also fairly point out that a lot of this is way too little too late. they are far far behind the way most other front offices are run, and we're seeing the consequences of that.

i hope that progress keeps being made. i hope they see what they have in joe and ja'marr after this insane season, and see how they've let them down. i think joe (and certainly ja'marr lol) is the type to speak his mind when he sees something he's not happy about. i'm not sure how much power or sway he does have in the organization, but i imagine it's more than pretty much any player they've had til this point. and i can only hope they listen to him!! (without him having to threaten a trade, which i wouldn't blame him for. but i don't think it's come to that quite yet.)

in terms of what changes they could reasonably make this offseason, i think we need to (ONCE AGAIN) focus on drafting and signing defensive talent. it sucks because oh my god we've dedicated so many resources to that the last few years, but we just keep missing (and of course letting the actual proven talent go, assuming we can replace and it turns out we can't!) and then when you think about how high-potential players haven't developed, you do have to look at coaching. lou has been incredible for us scheme-wise the last few years. he is one of the few DCs who has proven he can consistently limit patrick mahomes, josh allen, and even lamar sometimes (less so this year lol). but! when you take away his top talent, he's not able to reproduce these results reliably. which i mean, that's a hard ask for anyone, but it's his job to work with the tools given, and two years in a row now he's proven that he can't set up the players he has currently on the roster for success. so the answer might be in replacing him? or at the very least, keep him for his scheming creativity but maybe replace position coaches? who actually work with and develop the guys every day?

i still think zac's job is safe. and i know i'm in the minority when i say i'm mostly okay with that. when you look at this team's problems, and what they've been able to do on offense this year despite key injuries, i still think that's impressive. and obviously you can attribute some of that to joe's ability to improvise, but i think when you look at the game plans recently, they've been pretty good overall. zac definitely still has trouble with deciding on when to be aggressive, and sometimes he gets too cute with shit, but i really don't think he's this team's biggest problem, and i think joe is still very much on his side. if that changes though, then yeah, i'd think zac's seat could get pretty hot.

oh i do think we need to get rid of frank though. our o-line is better at pass protection this year, especially when orlando is in and having one of his best years statistically. and i get that when we have joe at qb, we're always going to prioritize passing, that's fine. but i'm pretty sure we're dead last in run blocking. which is a shame because chase brown has shown he can be pretty special! but we need to give him SOMETHING to work with on these runs. and given that frank is the o-line AND run coordinator, it's pretty evident that he's the problem there. so maybe the team gets rid of him? hopefully?

i dunno, this has become a whole rant but these are just some of the things that i think could happen? and maybe if they do, we'll be in better shape next year to get things figured out. i'm excited to watch our young guys this season, see what we have in them. because they could definitely be the key to success next season!

[landinrris]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

ahh thanks, Jo!

If I had to pick five of my works to rec, I'd probably pick these (in no particular order):

--Unconstrained-- Lando and Carlos are in a Ph.D. program navigating both graduate school challenges as well as an ill-advised friends-with-benefits situation that has no chance of going wrong.

This remains the most self-indulgent thing I've written in many respects. I'm currently re-reading it right now since its plot devices aren't part of my immediate stressors and I still love it

--Hide All Our Sins From the Daylight-- Lando and Carlos find each other in Augusta, but nothing is that easy once Carlos finds himself agreeing to a PR relationship to ensure his own contract negotiations.

Even though the end doesn't play out in real life, I loved the journey this one took me on. The fever dream of Singapore 2023 happening as a poetic end to the fic. The ups and downs they go through. Top 5 for sure.

--Double Exposure-- Lando is a paddock photographer in his first year of frequenting the F1 paddock. He meets Carlos by chance after a race and can’t help but be pulled into his orbit slowly and then all at once.

Best crack I've ever been on was whatever helped write this one. Was just talking to Phebes about a potential follow-up/re-do of this from Carlos' pov to really drive home the unreliable narrator theme so.... mayhaps

--It's Hard When It Isn't To Let Yourself Slide-- Lando and Carlos come out on their own terms after Lando slips up in his Drive to Survive season 4 interview

This is my literal og. Nearly three and a half years old, and it's still the thing that started me off on this nearly 3/4 of a million carlando-word journey. quintessential reading even if I'd like to think I've improved since then.

--String Ourselves Up For Love-- Lando and Carlos sleep with each other after Abu Dhabi 2020 and then have to go back to being friends with mixed success for the 2021 season.

My original take on Sleeping With Other People set in more of the "canon" universe. I love this one because of the opening scene and the Sochi scenes particularly. Would rec if you haven't read (or if it's just been awhile)

[oreharuuu]

To be One (1)

Summary: Trying out the demo game for Yeri's new game was something you thought would be an exciting experience. You didn't think the first time you played the game would be so creepy.

Warnings: none

A/N: oop new series :) i wanted to focus more on the other series but it's too much of a good idea to pass on soooo

The feeling of boredness is seeping through your body. Glancing around at people around you having fun, you curse yourself for not having the skill to socialize with a lot of people.

You were invited by your childhood friend, Joy, to come to her annual party that she holds in her massive house every month. She told you it's because she's already used to having big parties like these for her friends, but you know deep down it's because she's lonely at home. So you never blamed her.

Plus her parties are actually fun and exciting. It's just you're not extroverted enough to initiate conversations first. Awkwardly smiling at old high school classmates, you tried to move away from the ever growing dance area near you.

Walking to the kitchen to grab another drink, you noticed the rest of your friends talking to each other, so you decided to talk with them instead of just standing at the party like an idiot.

"Hey, (name)! Where have you been?" Wendy smiled as she hugs you, Seulgi joining too before patting your back.

"Meh, not doing much. Just wanted to grab a drink before I saw you guys."

The three of you talked, catching up on what's going on with your life because it seems like everyone parted ways after graduating college, too busy with their own lives.

Wendy became a vocal teacher, teaching at a highly prestigious arts Academy with Seulgi joining her a few months later. Seulgi teaches dance, so you know the both of them liked their jobs but were too busy with the clashing schedules. Irene became a financial analyst, so of course she's working hard at her job that neither of your friends think that she joined this party. Wendy updated you that Joy is still doing modeling but she decided to take a break before continuing, wanting to relax for a bit.

"How's Yeri? Is she here?"

Wendy pursed her lips as Seulgi shook her head. "Honestly I don't know. A few people said that she's here, but I haven't seen her."

"I want to meet her," You pouted. "I heard she's developing a new game after the success of the first one. I've played it before and it was awesome!"

Yeri worked as a game developer. She worked at a relatively small company before they went successful with their first game. At first you didn't know what it's about, something called an 'Otome' game. But after playing it for a few days you were hooked. Maybe because you're a sucker for handsome men and the interesting storyline that made you played the game nonstop to earn many of the endings and achievements.

"I've played it too! Honestly Jisung's route was so exciting!" Seulgi squealed before you joined her as well.

"What?! I thought you agreed with me that Chan's route was better," Wendy gasped as she hits Seulgi on the arm. Seulgi and Wendy decided to debate on which boy is better, making you smile in amusement before deciding that the debate was going far too long. Excusing yourself you walked around the massive house, waving at Joy as she talks with people before going outside.

Not a lot of people were there, so you sat down on one of the chairs before exhaling loudly. Mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you didn't notice a figure walking right towards you before scaring you by grabbing your shoulders. Screaming, you flailed around before seeing Yeri laughing obnoxiously.

"You bitch! You scared me!"

"And I'll do it again if you'll have the same reaction," Yeri smiled as she wiped some tears away. You playfully stuck out your tongue before she sits down next to you, stretching her arms out wide before huffing.

"Why you lookin so stressed out? It's a party," You reminded her as she groaned loudly. "I do know that this is a party, but I had to accept a work call. So there goes my enthusiasm and now I'm just too lazy to go back into the mood."

"Work? Oh! About the upcoming game right?"

"Yup," She popped the 'P' as she grabs her phone. "It's already at phase three, which is pretty good. But it's still far from our target because we want the game to release in a few months."

You smiled as you peeked from her shoulder too see the concept plan. "Ooo, sounds exciting!"

"It is," She nodded. "But it's been kicking our asses. I don't know why but one of the lead developers just vanished all of sudden without any clues, like what the fuck? That's why we're panicking on what to do with the game."

You frowned before sipping your drink. Vanished? That just sounds unprofessional. "What do you by vanished?"

Yeri shrugged. "Don't know. His name is Johnny, good guy. But a few weeks ago he vanished without a trace. We thought he's been kidnapped or whatever but the police said that his belongings were all in his apartment. No suspicious activities whatsoever. It's like he...vanished from the face of the earth."

"Creepy," You shivered when a gust of wind hits you, reminding you of your thin clothes you wore because of Joy's persistence. "Well did any of you notice something weird in his behavior?"

Yeri frowned, humming as she tapped her finger on her knee. "I guess?" She started. "Before he's gone, he started acting weird. Saying the game was 'self aware' about our reality and it's alive all of a sudden. We just chalked it up as a joke, but it's weird thinking about it now."

You whistled. "Damn, that's actually scary. Imagine if the game actually came to life though, like that one Gravity Falls episode."

"Not scary to me, I'll gladly take Soos place for a hot babe to fall in love with me," Yeri snorted as you laughed. You both talked again about random topics, making you reminiscence about the time where all of you were just struggling college students trying to graduate. You remembered how all of you liked to stay at Irene's dorm, having sleepovers and working through assignments together even though you all have different majors.

Both of you fell into a comfortable silence, basking in each other's presence as you sip your drink while Yeri chewed her gum.

"Hey, (name)? You liked the first game that we released right?"

You huffed a laugh. "Not just me. Wendy and Seulgi were fighting about it before I walked away. But yeah, I really liked the game."

Yeri cleared her throat before clapping her hands together. "So! What if...I offered you to play our game?"

"Huh?"

"It's only an idea, but the team wanted another perspective of the demo game. Since Johnny decided to disappear," Yeri rolled her eyes. "What if I offered you to play it? We're at phase 3 so the game would still be a bit glitchy, but we're happy to accept—"

"Are you kidding me?!" You cut Yeri off, squealing in delight as you shook her body. "Why would I want to decline this offer? I would be so crazy!"

"Yes you would," Yeri snorted as she laughs.

"I'll be happy to play it! I'll give you guys some opinions about it too!"

"Great!" Yeri exclaimed before texting one of her coworkers. "But...don't spill any of this to Wendy or Seulgi. They'll kill me."

"Like they'll only kill you, they'll kill me too!"

♡

Thankfully, your work schedule was very flexible. Your company didn't need you exclusively on place at all times, so you can work at home where you're comfortable.

Already preparing drinks and snacks, you punched the desk in excitement as Yeri sent you the demo game through email. You downloaded the game before thanking Yeri through text, deciding to eat first as the game loads. When an unfamiliar tune started to play from your computer, you ran back to your room to find the game already at the starting page.

The game, 'Hala Academy', was basically an otome game like the previous one. Yeri did tell you that this game is more different in concept than the other one, so you're really curious on what she meant by that.

You clicked the start button, making yourself comfortable as you read through the short exposition text. Basically your a new transfer student at Hala Academy and you're trying to graduate the academy while falling in love with the many love interest on the game. Yeri told you that the system's more complicated than the other one, because essentially you still have to maintain good grades and your basic needs while juggling the storyline.

Unfortunately you can't customize your character yet because it's still in development, but your sadness soon brushed away with excitement as you started the game.

At first glance, it's all very polished. Yeri and her team did work on this game at the same time they're working on the previous ones. So you're really impressed by her work ethics.

Slapping your cheeks a few times, you clicked away as you read through text after text at the bottom so you know the basic storyline. You gasped when a boy appeared on the screen, jaw slack as you notice how good the art was.

Blonde hair, gorgeous eyes, a birthmark on the side of his eye; you described the man as angelic. You notice the bottom text appearing, hurrying to read it as you bit your lips.

"Hello there, you must be lost. A new student perhaps?"

You gasped again before squealing in shock when a deep voice spoke through your speaker. You didn't know they had voiceover! You held your face between your hand as you laughed out loud. The game just started and you're down this bad? You're royally fucked.

You quickly chose one of the options before waiting for a response.

"Ah, I was right then. My name is Yeosang, nice to meet you."

You clicked away whilst reading the text, eyes going back and forth between the text and the boy in front of you.

"Sadly I'm not your guide for the school tour today. But I can gladly escort you to the admin office so you could get your schedule there."

"Don't mind if I do," You smiled as you agreed with his offer. You noticed a heart appearing at the top of his head, the percentage of it slowly increasing.

2%

Damn, this is more fun than the other ones.

Soon the scene changed where you assume the office is, Yeosang still on your screen.

"This is the office. The lady working here is great, but don't worry about her scary face. She's a softie."

Yeosang's face changed into a soft smile making you smile as well. A sudden ring made you jump in your seat before noticing it's the school bell. You noticed how fast his face changed from a happy smile to a sad one.

"Ah, I have to go to class. Oh! I forgot to ask your name, how rude of me. It's nice to meet you...?"

A box popped up asking your name. You hesitated, deciding to use your nickname you usually use for games or your real name. You decided to use your real name since it's only a demo, so you'll probably delete this one before downloading the finished one.

"(Name), what a beautiful name for a beautiful lady."

Your eyebrows raise in shock at how Yeosang said your name. Can they even do that? Usually they give some space before continuing with their line. But whatever, it's worth it anyway with his voice.

"It's nice to meet you, (name). I hope we'll have classes together."

"I hope so too," You mumbled as you clicked away, Yeosang disappearing from the screen as a lady popped up. Turns out it's a small tutorial before you actually play the game, making you hum in excitement as you played through the short tutorial.

Before you knew it, you went to classes. The work you did in class turns out was a small mini game, each classes holds a different game so you're not that bored. It's challenging enough and every time you win, you acquired different things.

"Okay, right now I have one letter. About twenty coins? And...a plushie?" You cocked your head, hovering above the items to find any description but you found none. So you texted Yeri, asking the purpose of these items.

Turns out the coins you could spend on different outfits for the boys, which is mind blowing. As for the plushie and letter, it's for maximizing your relationship percentage.

Closing the inventory, or your bag perse, you clicked away before another boy popped up. Your eyed widen at how broad his shoulder were, noticing the contrast between his body and face. His body looks muscular yet his face looks cute with cat-like eyes and a dimple.

"Hi there! You must be the new student. It's not common for the academy to accept students at this time. But don't worry about that! I'm Choi San, you can call me San."

"Cute," You mumbled softly, not noticing how San's character glitched a little when you said that. You picked one of the choices as you 'talked' with San.

"Oh yeah, our academy is very prestigious. That's why a lot of people are talking about you, especially someone entering with a scholarship."

"Yeosang? Yeah, I know him. He's my friend! He told us about you in class. I didn't believe him when he told us how beautiful you were, but now...I'll say your more than beautiful."

"My friends? Well...we're not always together. But! We do eat together if we can, if you want you could join us! It'll be so fun."

Just from these short interaction, San is a very interesting character. You noticed how he tends to ramble on and on, his voice talking first instead of the text like Yeosang did. Maybe it's a glitch?

When an option appeared where you could see your dorm, you didn't realize how San's character will follow you as the scene changed into your room.

"Ah! This is your dorm. Don't worry, we all start with the plain room. The academy will let you decorate so go wild!"

The tutorial popped up and you clicked on it, screen fading into black before the game showed you how to decorate the rooms and such. When the tutorial finished, you frown in confusion when you noticed how San was still there. But now...his face looked worried instead of the smile he wore.

You also noticed how another boy was beside him, with fiery red hair and a mole underneath his eye. Squinting your eyes you noticed how his face looked worried as well, before it changed into a smile.

"Ah! We were so worried when you disappeared on us like that!"

Disappear?

San opened his mouth before pausing. You noticed the game also paused, making you discover one of the first glitches you'll probably encounter. Before you knew it, a loading icon appeared before it's gone in a second, leaving your screen empty without any characters.

Only your room.

"What? Did the game crash?" You frowned. Clicking the exit button, you're more confused when the game played through like before, as if nothing's wrong. You decided to ignore the previous encounter and continue to play.

A lot of characters appeared, but you assume they're just for the plot to play out. Your so called enemy, Hwayoung, appeared and mocked you before leaving. It made you laugh at how lame her bullying was compared to the K-Dramas you've watched. It's only then you notice how it's already night in the game, making you go back to your dorm room.

But when you click the room icon, nothing happened. Clicking it numerous times didn't help as well so you closed the small tab containing the shortcuts for the game.

You screamed in fright when you noticed a pair of eyes looking at you closely before the game glitched out. You exhaled when the game returned back to normal, noticing a figure in front of you.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you at this time, I was just walking to my room."

You sighed heavily as you brushed a few hairs away from your face, haphazardly clicking on an option that popped up whilst trying to calm your heart.

"You must be the new student. My name is Yunho, sorry again for the scare."

You frowned when you noticed how his eyes seemed familiar from the ones that stared at you. But only the eyes appeared, not the character. Was it even Yunho?

You clicked away to talk with Yunho, trying to ignore the growing uneasiness. The glitches in the game are so creepy that you had to report back to Yeri about it. Maybe tomorrow or when you compile enough evidence to report back to her.

Yunho seems nice, almost like a golden retriever. You giggle a bit when he tells a joke, noticing how his character flushed with red on his cheeks.

"Aww, so cute. I didn't know they could do that."

"Thank you."

Your smile dropped when you heard a response back from him. Did you hear that right? You shook your head, looking back at Yunho closely. Noticing how now his smile is tense, almost forced. Before you could click, his character glitches out in an instant, making you stare at the dark corridor of the school. As if Yunho never appeared.

Clicking back to your dorm, you sighed when the day finally changes to the second day. You hesitated to click on the exit game button, but decided you had enough for today. The game drifts to black before the cutesy theme song played and the starting screen was showed.

Turning off your computer, you shivered when you remembered back at the creepy glitches. Typing the problems on your phone, you decided to play tomorrow to collect enough evidence to show Yeri.

You just hope things are not as glitchy as the first time you played it. God you can't get that eyes out of your mind as you worked through the project.

[reriart]

First, I love your fics they are amazing. ❤️

Second, could I please request a gale x tav fic where gale is trying to figure out how to cook for a tav with no sense of taste due to trama and doesn't eat much as a result.

Thank you for your hard work.

Hi! Thank you so much for your super kind words! I liked this request so much and I immediately decided to write something. Although mine was not a trauma related to the sense of taste, I have had eating problems in the past and it was very difficult for me to eat when I was younger. I hope this fanfic, set in Act I, is a chance for those who have problems with food, whatever its nature, to feel a little better! (Divider by @cafekitsune)

I'm here for you.

Tags: tav has food disorder, ageusia (no sense of taste), dissociation if you squint, Raphael cameo (very hidden, very nice), friendship with a hint of romance, random Astarion passing by, gn!Tav. English is not my native language.

Sum: Gale offers to help you solve a health problem that's troubling you, without much success. However, the magician doesn't lose heart. You can read it on AO3 too.

“You must eat something.”

Shadowheart's tone is harsh. She stares at you with the pewter plate in her hand, worn by time. The light from the bonfire bounces timidly off the now dull surface, while the sausages and boiled potatoes - now cold - more willingly reciprocate the warm aura of the flames.

She throws the plate at your feet. “There's no point in traveling together to find a way out of this damn tadpole if we're going to die because you let yourself starve and don't cover our asses.” 

You know she's right. That starving is not the solution, but how can you explain to someone who has always been able to enjoy food that everything you swallow tastes like nothing but paper? Much less to a half-elf who has the empathy capability of a nightstand?

The woman squares you off, only to turn on her heels and return to her tent, while Lae'zel, the surly githyanki, addresses you with a chk. “Vlaakith be my witness, but for once we agree. Eat, istik.”

As the strange green-skinned warrior leaves for her quarters as well, you find yourself staring into the flames until you lose all concept of time and reality. It is Gale's voice that brings you back down to earth - feet that, by the way, are covered with chunks of meat and potatoes. You shake off the boot.

“You're hiding something, aren't you?” comments Gale, sitting down next to you. Of the whole group, he is the least threatening to you so far. He has a book in his hand, which he casually flips through. “I have an intuition that it's not just my questionable cooking that's keeping your stomach empty.”

You widen your eyes and blush, flicking a bitter smile, turning your gaze to the crackling wood. “You are perceptive.”

“One of my many qualities. I'm also a very good pianist,” the magician jokes. “These hands can do many things, not just handle the Weave.” 

The man conjures a cat made of light, leaping and playing at your feet, before fading into nothingness. “Would you like to talk about it?” he asks, now a little more serious. 

You finally dignify yourself by looking into his eyes, but you regret it a few moments later. You are not very accustomed to sharing personal business; however, after a long sigh, you abandon your qualms.

“I can't taste,” you confess, looking at your hands. A dry patch of skin peeps out on your right index finger and you feel like tugging it off, but you don't. “It's ... because of a bad thing that happened.”

Gale closes the book and sets it down beside him, then rests a hand on your shoulder. “It must be terrible, I'm sorry. I-I dare not imagine,” he murmurs. He squeezes your arm affectionately. Then he stands up sharply and raises a finger. “I am one with the Weave, I will certainly find a way to make you feel the flavors again. By Mystra, magic can do anything.”

“I've already tried many times...”

“But you haven't tried asking me,” he replies, full of confidence. “'Be patient, my friend. I have a fellow who could help us. He lives in the capital.”

You shrug and reply with a monotone “thank you,” then go back to staring at your hands. Why can't people mind their own business? As if you haven't already tried every possible thing! You are just missing a demonic deal. Absorbed in this thought, you wince on the log where you are sitting as soon as you see something move in the shadows, followed by a squeak. Damn rats.

Gale runs a hand over his unshaven beard, lost in the depths of his mind (which, most likely, has all the appearance of a library), then kneels beside you and puts both hands on your shoulders, forcing you to turn toward him.

“I'll cook something for you tonight.”

You raise an eyebrow, puzzled. “But I can't taste it.”

“While we're waiting to get to Baldur's Gate, we might as well give it a shot, right?”

“We have few rations, no need to waste them.”

The wizard thinks about it. “It means I will make very small portions. These are trial and error, not inn servings.”

For a second, you swear you are lost in his eyes. Brown, with tiny hints of gold and green, they remind you of a cozy autumn forest. They are round, sweet -- concerned.

“Do you worry like this over everyone?” you ask, not realizing you actually said it out loud. Tiredness plays tricks, especially if you haven't eaten in a while. “Or is this another way of making me understand what Shadowheart told me earlier?

Gale's face is crossed by a smile, vaguely gloomy. “Don't misunderstand me. It is important that you eat, both for the mission and because I would hate to lose a new friendship. However, I am not doing this with second thoughts, if that is what you mean. I will not shove a funnel down your throat.” 

With that said, the man stands up. “To work!”

To...work? 

“...Gale?” 

“Yes?” He replies, once again wearing his crumpled, stained apron-an outfit so different from his long, elegant wizard's robe. He has a smile on his face and seems full of energy. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, getting up and following him suspiciously. “You're not cooking again, are you?”

“And that's exactly what I'm doing.” He smiles, waving a zucchini in front of your nose. Then he pulls a tomato and a potato out of his backpack. 

“Don't waste food for me, please,” you beg, placing yourself in front of him. “It is useful to you and to others.” “Unless you come from some plane where food is not needed -- and I really don't think there is any, otherwise I would know -- yes, you need food,” he replies, quickly cutting the vegetable into small chunks. 

“...touché.”

You watch him with crossed arms, jumping here and there like a ferret who hasn't slept in three weeks. “Have you always been into cooking?” 

“I-I've had some rough times. Learning to cook has kept me busy. The Weave then can lead to interesting results.” He smiles and winks at you as he pours the vegetables into a pot and begins to stir it all by twirling his finger suspended above it. Another of his magic tricks. You blush and thank goodness it's nighttime. 

“And here it is. Come closer, don't be shy,” Gale prompts you, waving. “It's not poisoned; you might expect that from our fellow Shadowheart, perhaps. The sharites act in mysterious and, often, poisonous ways.”

You can't help but hold back a laugh. You sit down next to him, looking at what would appear to be a custard. “What is it?”

“A simple vegetable soup. But I made it for you.” He takes the ladle, filling it and bringing it closer to you. “Try it.”

You look at the man disgruntledly: you already know how it will turn out and you are sorry he committed to you. You swallow a little, but feel absolutely nothing but a bit of warm slime, the bites size of the vegetable pieces in your mouth. If it weren't for the fact that your taste buds have no life, you would say it's disgusting. You set the spoon down in the pot and sigh, making to get up, but Gale stops you with a hand on your leg, inviting you to remain seated. “Wait.”

He takes another spoon, and pours something on it, a powder perhaps. You notice a container close to the tools, but in the dark you can't identify its content. “Try it now.”

You want to roll your eyes, but you hold back. You taste, but again you feel nothing but the aforementioned textures in your mouth, as well as something powdery. “What did you put in it?”

“Powdered rabbit feces. The best in Neverwinter.”

You widen your eyes and spit out the contents, hitting your chest with your fist. “That's so gross! It's disgusting!”

Gale smiles. “How can a person with no sense of taste say something is disgusting?”

You try to wipe your tongue with your shirt sleeve. “Rabbit poop would disgust anyone!”

The wizard chuckles to himself. “Relax, it was just bread crumbs. However, it pains me to warn you that, for rabbits, their own droppings are quite delicious. They eat them straight from the...”

“Gale, for the love of the gods, 'shut up!” you implore him, throwing the ladle at him and...laughing. 

You're laughing. About food. 

It's not like you, but you're doing it. You are laughing your head off, as Gale conjures up a magic bunny that is about to....

“Gods, this is revolting, have mercy!” 

“I will stop only if you eat another spoon of soup, otherwise I can conjure up far more terrible scenes...”

You laugh, covering your mouth to try to muffle the noise and not wake your companions. Just as your gaze crosses Gale's, who reciprocates with a smile, a bush of white hair peeps out between the two of you. 

Astarion shows his canines, disgusted. “Gods, that's gross. I'm glad I don't have to eat the stuff you cook, Gale.” 

“And here is our pale companion. Did the hunt went well, Astarion?” Gale takes another spoonful and makes to offer it to the elf.

“Egregiously, I thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to, you know, go anywhere but here. Keep that filth away from my nose, it smells awful,” she pushes him away, gesturing with his hand. 

“All right, all right. But Astarion, you really happen to be here,” Gale reflects aloud. “Tell us, do you only and exclusively savor the taste of blood?” 

You stiffen. You don't want to reveal your problem, you're ashamed of it, least of all to Astarion who seems like someone who can use even a pair of underwear as a weapon, let alone a weakness of yours. You look at Gale and dig your nails into your legs, trying to keep your tachycardia in check.

“That's not right. You see, blood is, as you can well imagine, my main resource. The second is most certainly wine,” he begins to explain, interrupting himself for a somewhat forced laugh, then gives a cough. “I can eat human food, but it tastes like excrements. And I have to throw it up afterwards.”

“I thank you, Astarion. You know, we had this doubt and we were curious.” Gale lies, on purpose, to avoid uncomfortable questions from the vampire. “I wish you a good night.”

“To you.” And with that, he gets up and walks off into the woods again, whistling. 

“Why did you ask him?!” you whisper, hitting him with a spoon on the forehead. “He might have been suspicious.” 

“Ouch! Well, I was curious. If he had answered that it was bland, I would have asked him if he ever perceived human food differently, but he didn't. We gained in cultural baggage, on the other hand.”

But you care little about cultural baggage. You watch the soup on the stove, the lazy bursting bubbles caused by the fire that is beginning to fall asleep. 

“I wish I could taste what you cook, Gale. I'm sure it wouldn't taste like shit,” you murmur, as you play with a pebble on the floor. “I'm sorry.”

He ruffles your hair. “I'm sure we'll find a way. From now on you will try every food we get. And if we don't come up with anything, I'm sure we'll find someone in Baldur's Gate who can help you. There is hope, as our cerebral roommates teach us well.” 

You bite your lip. “Thank you, Gale.”

He smiles. “That's what I'm here for.”

[phantomspren]

I've been watching LotR the last few days (cause why watch something I haven't seen before from my incredibly long list of things I need to watch when I can watch something I've seen before a ton) and I just want to talk about radical hope.

The story of LotR is bleak. Just. So incredibly hopeless. There are so many points where the characters just genuinely have no hope that they will live, let alone save the world.

During Return of the King, there is a literal darkness that covers the world for days. The only hope there is for success is a couple hobbits. Who are walking through enemy territory. With one thing that would instantly guarantee success to the enemy.

And in the end Frodo fails.

Despite all of this

They kept hoping.

Frodo failed and all was lost.

But it wasn't.

They saved everything.

They didn't make it through unscarred. Many people didn't make it through at all. But they did make it.

But they wouldn't have if they'd given up.

Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers left me in tears. (It normally doesn't.)

Lately I've been feeling incredibly hopeless. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, and I'm currently working towards something that I have so little chance of succeeding in. I'm paying so much money to go to school for this.

Beyond just me, I'm terrified for the upcoming election for obvious reasons. I live in a country where we already have a maternal mortality rate that's way too fucking high and people are actively working to make that worse. I live in a country where there are people who don't think I and the people I love deserve to exist. I live in a country where the highest cause of death for children is guns.

I live in a world where there is an active genocide going on and no one gives a shit. I live in a world where the deadliest disease has a cure, but why would we give them access to that? The people dying from it are poor. They're poor because of us. I live in a world that those in power are slowly destroying.

But I'm here. We're all here. And there's so much bad. But there's so much good.

I went to a convention last month, and it was the most fun I'd ever had. I want to do that again.

I got invited to go to a pumpkin patch with a friend next week.

I just finished rereading Hamlet.

I have motivation to write and tell stories for the first time in years.

I made a new friend this year.

I still haven't finished listening to Welcome to Nightvale.

Alecto the Ninth isn't out yet.

I had a friend help me out yesterday.

I helped out a different friend.

There are stars in the sky.

The leaves are turning colors and falling and it's so beautiful.

I watched a movie that I've seen at least a dozen times before and it made me cry.

It feels so hopeless.

But that's not a reason to give up hope.

We gotta fight for what we've got. I'm going to fight tooth and nail even if all it means is that I get to see one more sunset, read one more book that changes me, meet one more person who gets me.

I don't care if you can donate a thousand dollars to a charity, or if all you can do is just stick around for another day because you know that you will feel joy again at some point, that's what you gotta do.

It might get worse.

We might not see things get better.

But it will get better again. And before it does, there will still be moments of joy. And the chance that we'll see everything get better, the chance that we'll see anything get better, that's worth sticking around for.

That's radical hope.

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

[officalroyalsofpierreland]

A Controversial Interview

The Late Show with Rory Grant | That Evening

Rory Grant: A Former Prince, A seeker of freedom, and a grandfather. His new book, Freedom, is a number one Bestseller on Le Nouvel Observateur’s Les Meilleures Ventes and is selling out across Scotland. Please welcome to the Late Show, Mr. Louis Simparte!

Grant: Louis, Welcome to the Late Show! Louis: Thank you Rory. Glad to be here.

Grant: Your book, Liberté or Freedom, is doing quite well both here and in Francesim. It is a bestseller in Francesim and climbing the lists here in Scotland, how are you feeling about the response to your book? Louis: I am deeply touched by the reception "Liberté" has received. My book has been met with great success by the public, and seeing that my ideas resonate after so many years of exile... it comforts me. The lives of royal families are a mystery that many try to unravel. In this sense, my book offers an explanation to the most curious readers who wish to share my vision of the French Imperial family.

Rory: The title is quite bold. Freedom. How did you land on such a powerful title? Louis: The title "Freedom" came to me naturally. It embodies not only my personal quest but also a philosophy I want to pass on. We must break free from the constraints imposed by our family while retaining the best it can offer if there is anything worth keeping. I have learned to love my Simparte heritage, in my own way. I want to show that I have always fought for my freedom, and that it is a daily struggle. Rory: You say that your fight for freedom is a daily struggle. And you've had quite the long life [Louis laughs] what was the hardest part to write about? Louis: Without a doubt, the most difficult part to write was the one where I talk about my break with family tradition. Reflecting on my choices and their consequences, particularly on my relationship with my father and my son Charles, was not easy. It's a wound that time strives to heal.

Rory: Given the strained relationship with your family, do you regret anything you put in the book? Louis: No. Every word reflects my life; I cannot regret it. That said, writing about my own family, knowing that it could hurt some of its members—or bring their wrath upon me—was a burden for a long time. But I believe that truth and freedom of expression are values that must surpass family values. Rory: You've never met your grandchildren, including Princess Hortense who is now the wife of our own Prince Oliver, what do you hope they can learn from you if they pick up the book? Louis: I hope they understand that the important thing is not to blindly follow the path laid out by their parents or ancestors but to find their own way. Being a Simparte also means freeing oneself from the weight of tradition to embrace one's convictions.

Rory: Would you like to meet them? After all, Princess Hortense now lives here. I'm wondering if they've invited you over to Highland House for tea or however you meet your estranged grandfather. Louis [chuckling]: I haven't received any invitation from them. I do understand that to them I am practically a stranger. But I do hope one day to meet them all. I love sports and sailing just like Napoleon V. Despite the family differences that separate us, they are my grandchildren, and I love them. I do not wish to enter "their way of life," but rather "into their lives." Like a relative with whom one shares nothing but love and respect for one another. I hope that family tensions can ease as soon as possible. Many think that my book is adding fuel to the fire, as they say. But it is precisely because I didn’t have the opportunity to speak within the Imperial family that I was compelled to express myself in a book. Rory: Given that this book is essentially a message in a bottle to your family, do you think you've told your side?

Louis Simparte: Yes, absolutely, that’s my stance. I embrace my subjectivity. It’s a story that doesn’t always align with the official version given by my family, but it’s mine—authentic and uncompromising. From childhood, I was raised as an heir to Napoleon, as a good Christian, being told that 'I was different from others.' The first break came when I decided to stop believing in God. The second came when I failed to obtain my baccalaureate. This was a great shame for my father, who wanted the Napoleons to be at the top of their class. I wasn’t interested in that. Given this, you can understand that our visions can only be opposed on many points. Rory: I can definitely relate. My father thought the best I'd do as a comic would be as a clown in the circus. Well look at me now Da! [cheers from the audience and some laughter as stereotypical clown music plays]

Rory: What’s next for you? Louis: I want to advocate for a different vision than that of "the emperor" Napoleon, and I will do this work within the French political and cultural spheres. Napoleon was not "programmed" by the aristocracy. Nothing could have predicted that he would rise. I like to present him differently, for example, Napoleon at Saint Helena. The Napoleon who plays with his witty remarks, a fickle Napoleon, or who cheats at cards. The mistake of my ancestor was that, in the end, he found no legitimacy in his power—other than dictatorship. This is far from the revolutionary or republican ideal. He could not find a synthesis between monarchist forces and republican forces because such a synthesis does not exist. He faced a contradiction that no one could resolve. Napoleon's true strength was his energy. He knew how to take risks, discard his prejudices, be realistic, and have a fresh perspective. That is Napoleon’s message! The foundation I wish to establish should contribute to this reflection. Rory: A message I think all leaders should take to heart these days. Louis's memoir, Freedom is available in French and English anywhere books are sold. When we come back, this man just won the boxing gold in the Warrior Games after giving his Pierreland opponent a hell of a knock out blow. Our interview with Staff Sargent Tyler Adams will be after these messages.

@empiredesimparte

[ateez-himari]

SOCIAL MEDIA UPDATE 231024

NEW TWITTER UPDATE

[NEW UPLOAD FROM HIMARI]

ATEEZ(에이티즈) @ATEEZofficial

[#히마리] Five years ago we made our debut with hearts full of anxiety, wondering if anyone would even bother showing up, and now we've just ended a world tour. At first they were strangers to me, people I was too shy to approach but now whenever someone asks about them I simply say 'my second family'. They've scolded me, cared for me, held my hand, showered me with love, dried my tears, created my smiles and played a part in raising me. We're much more than friends, we're soulmates...because in every life I would choose them, no matter where or who we are. I know Chuseok has passed but I want to make a wish. I wish for the nine of us to keep standing by each other for a very long time...so that we can get old together. Let's continue our journey okay? ATEEZ HWAITING! ㅋㅋㅋ Happy 5 years to us, to my home.❤️9 MAKES 1 TEAM! (I can't ever get them in a picture together sorry ㅠㅠ...) #ATEEZ #애이티즈

Translated from Korean by Google

10:45am. · 23 Oct 23 · 2.5M Views 41K Reposts 1,267 Quotes 1.3M Likes

mikah @himaswife Replying to @ATEEZofficial We always joke about Joong and Hwa being the parents of the group but think about it...Hima was around 14 when she came to KQ and hadn't been with her family much for about a year cuz she was at JYPE. So they basically finished raising her🥹

koala koala @koalazia Replying to @himaswife omg yes she even has similar habits to each of the members😭idk who else knows this but in an interview Yeo said he saw her copy her older brothers' actions a lot and he noticed she was doing the same with them

cheongdam pepper @33khj Replying to @ATEEZofficial new pre-debut photos yes omg! i've been an atiny since the beginning and i can't believe they've already grown so much- hima went from hiding behind the members bc of all the hate and social anxiety to being a global ambassador for versace and 4th gen's little social butterfly

nabi @jigeumfly Replying to @ATEEZofficial happy 5 years our ateez 🥂we're so proud of you! you went from performing in small theaters to your first ever stadium, becoming the most successful 4th generation group not from a big company. you truly deserve all the happiness that comes your way (also the way she talks about them...my heart can't take this i'm crying)

TOQTOK UPDATE

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I didn't think they'd remember either but my brothers all sent me congratulation messages this morning ㅋㅋㅋ My parents called me instead and my mom was really emotional so it made me cry a little bit but it's okay because it was tears of love. I'll go see my birth parents soon! I haven't brought them flowers in a while so they must miss me a lot. It's okay though I'm sure they've been watching over our shows and ATINY as well so they'll understand!

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I guess it's true that sometimes I act like the members ㅋㅋㅋ I've always had a habit of copying people who taught me so since they raised me for a while I copy them a lot. Hongjoong oppa says I started biting people only after meeting Wooyoung oppa...so I guess some of them are bad influences ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

5TH YEAR INTERVIEW

'As we're filming this it's ATEEZ's 4th debut anniversary already which means we've pushed through a lot of bad times, a lot of physical and mental struggles. My hope for you is that when thinking of the past you're able to see the happy memories more than the negativity, that you can see everything you accomplished over the years. I also hope you've gotten strong enough to let go of the members' hands sometimes and that you can help them as much as they've cared for us. Learn to take a break sometimes so we can go back to painting okay? Hwaiting!'

Q: Do you feel you've become stronger since last year and that you've learned to rest?

When looking back it simply feels as though I've become more free in the past year, not putting as many harsh restrictions on myself which makes me a lot happier...and I guess it's a form of strength so yes. It's still a bit hard to get into the mindset of taking a moment to rest so the process is slow but I'm getting there at my own pace. I think past me would be proud to know that I've started to paint again...actually my room is filled with messy tools a lot nowadays.

Q: How would you describe your relationship with ATEEZ?

In very short terms...a group of eight chaotic big brothers who would be willing to steal the moon if I asked. They've shown me so much love that it feels as though I can't refer to them simply as friends anymore so...family.

Q: What modifier do you want ATEEZ to have in 2024?

Growth has always been very important to us so even if there's nothing I would wish to change within our team, I want us to keep growing. Whether it be as people, musicians, dancers, performers or even our career, I want us to have come a farther way next year than where we are now. Not only for us but also for ATINY to be able to grow with us without thinking that it is something much too intimidating or unachievable.

Q: A word for ATINY who's been with ATEEZ for 5th anniversary in 2023.

It might seem like something we say very often...but thank you. ATINY have been our biggest motivators from the moment we made our debut and they've always laughed with us, cheered us on, given us words of motivation and during hard times they continued to support us no matter what. They make ATEEZ whole. So ATINY make sure to stay healthy and know that we're behind you too no matter what. We'll make sure to work hard so you can always be proud of us. I love you!

Q: A letter to myself a year from now.

I'm sure that there are still a few mental struggles you need to face but remember that with the members behind you, you won't ever fall far so please don't be afraid of anything. Continue to give as much love as you can to our parents, our brothers, our members, our friends and ATINY so that they can also find the same hope we have. I know you'll be a lot stronger by the time you see this and I promise that I'll keep working hard okay? I can't wait to meet you next year!

[clairedaring]

Hello Claire! It always takes me by surprise and leaves me with awe when I read your posts about thai production houses. And it's a topic that really interests me.

So, disclaimer before I mention my question - sorry if this is stupid or weird, but why did Nadao close its operation? I mean, given the fact that they had such powerhouses under them (not just actors but directors, producers, musicians, etc.) and if I remember correctly, it was right after IPYTM (or maybe after a year or so), so it felt like they were on the pathway of constant success.

~ @tipsyjaehyun

Hi Rain!

I always love talking about Nadao so thank YOU for allowing me the opportunity to talk about them. And please, there are never stupid or weird questions ever, especially when it comes to Nadao Bangkok (rip love).

When Nadao announced they were closing down, they posted this very long letter explaining why as well. Here's a summary of the contents:

In short: Nadao will terminate their roles as artist development, series & music producer. The reason is that their artists are now grownup enough to choose their own paths. Also the seniors have different goals. It is not sudden. They have been discussing it for a while. We have seen many Nadao artists moving out and continue with their own journey. This is the reason. Nadao will terminate their roles and want to give their artists more freedom to work in the industry. Ongoing series production will be passed to the director and they will make their own decision. Ongoing music production will be under the artists’ own names. Nadao will also introduce their artists to network in the path that their artists are interested in.

Nadao closing its business leaves a lot of regret in the hearts of fans who follow Nadao artists (me, i am the fan in question). Out of all the speculations, I think there's this one Reddit comment from u/Virtual_Tadpole9821 that aligns most with my speculation.

I wasn't originally going to comment because I was hoping to see some analysis emerge online, but since I'm not seeing any here's my two cents anyway. Knowing Nadao, the move is unlikely to be directly motivated by financial reasons. The company has consistently been profitable. Its financials for the 2021 fiscal year haven't been filed yet, but even in 2020, when the pandemic first hit, it still made a net profit of 29 million baht after taxes. Though this was down from 40 million in 2019, it's still more than 21 million in 2018. Things might have been worse in 2021, but it's unlikely to be too bad for them to weather. They don't appear to have that many fixed costs. As most of their income comes from artist management and the main costs are the artists' cuts, less work just means the pie is smaller, but the company still gets a piece and won't bleed to death. Not producing means not having to pay for crew and equipment, and their productions are usually externally funded anyway. If the company was facing financial difficulties, the first thing to do would be to scale back on non-performing operations, and the loss-making Nadao Music would be the first to go. But that's not what they're doing. Rather, they're shutting down all current operations at once. The move is probably more due to ideological re-questioning of the company's mission. As /u/dangrankeyi pointed out, Nadao tries to position itself as first and foremost a talent management agency. But it hasn't really been able to grow itself much in that regard. As their artists keep outgrowing their target group, they need to keep replacing them. But the scene is much more crowded now than in 2009 when the company was founded or in 2013 when it made Hormones. The company doesn't appear to have been successfully developing much new talent. Its latest pivoting attempt was when it launched Nadao Academy in early 2020, but that seems to have ceased with the pandemic. And even if the project was successful, what work would the company find for the trainees? It's not like it's doing that well with its current artists anyway. Nadao has some 30 actors under its umbrella, but apart from BKPP, things have been rather quiet for them. The problem I see is that there's a disjoint between what the company wants to do and what it actually does best. It wants to grow talent, but it's having problems finding work for that talent, and doesn't quite have the capacity to generate that work itself. On the other hand, Nadao has become best known for is productions, which for the most part have been passion projects driven more by their creator's visions than by business strategy. But such projects don't serve those original goals well enough. The only way they could have sustained this was probably to keep dishing out seasons of Hormones, but they didn't, because they knew they wouldn't be able to maintain quality, and even if they did, it would have lost steam by now anyway. The thing is, Nadao doesn't actually need to exist for its creators to do the production stuff they want, and are good at. That can be accommodated under parent company GDH and its other subsidiaries, which is where Nadao's production crews come from anyway. Looking at it this way, it isn't very difficult to see why they'd come to the decision not to continue doing the things they're doing as Nadao Bangkok.

And I would say that after two years since Nadao closes down, it's been pretty clear that the closing down of Nadao was more ideology-motivated than business. While Nadao officially shut down it's business, the actual company itself was renamed Tada Entertainment to accompany P'Yong Songyos Sugmakanan's pursuit of making the next perfect idol groups. Tada Entertainment now manages girl group MXFRUIT (under subsidiary label Ily Lab)...

And BUS (a Thai pop group formed through 789 Survival, under subsidiary Sonray Music). Khunpol (Bas from ITSAY) also competed in 789 Survival and debuted in BUS.

And DICE (consisting of the members who participated in 789 Survival but didn't make it into BUS, also managed by Sonray Music)

One must be quite confounded by P'Yong Soyos' new pursuits but watching the documentary of how 9x9 (Nine By Nine) was formed, I think it becomes very clear that P'Yong has always harboured an interest in making the next big Thai pop group, similar to Kpop idol group style. I highly recommend watching this if you have time, or at least the first two episodes of the documentary. It's honestly one of the realest documentaries I've ever watched of an idol group, the way they talk about each other here is basically how they talk about each other in real life, even now.

It was just unfortunate that 9x9 had to be a temporary thing 🥲 (understandable though, they had 4 full time lakorn actors Tor, James, Captain, Ryu, 2 singer/actor Ice and JJ and 3 music-focused artists Third, Jackie, Porsche). So their reunion on the last episode of 789 Survival was a hugeeeeeee thing.

So yeah.... before I ramble on and forget what your original question is, I would say P'Yong's general pursuit and ambitions in the music/Thai pop industry coupled with Nadao's roster of artists outgrowing its target group are the biggest reasons for Nadao closing in general.

I'm always grateful to Nadao for bringing us some of the best series in existence (crazy to think how In Family We Trust is conceived as a part of 9x9 project, with the main purpose to make a series to star all nine boys of 9x9) yet it swept the Nataraja awards (Thai Emmys) that year. This is yet another stellar example of how Nadao ended up excelling at what they don't plan to do (producing series) than what they do intend (managing artists/boy groups). 9x9 was a successful project though, don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to make the case that IFWT is more successful than P'Yong probably intended it to be (though P'Yong was pretty ambitious with this project himself, getting all the experienced older lakorn actors into this so perhaps he did plan for it to be that successful).

Even though, there were many Nadao artists that left before they closed down like James, Peach, Nonkul... I really like that most Nadao artists remained very close with their fellow Nadao peers, and often times ending up in same projects together once again. This year, a few notable reunions off the top of my head is Nonkul and Ud Awat in a horror zombie film Operation Undead (currently out in cinemas), Tor and JJ in thriller series Spare Me Your Mercy (currently filming), Nonkul and Captain in the Mouse TH remake (just wrapped filming).

I'm always sad about Nadao closing down but seeing how most former Nadao artists have no trouble finding works on their own after its closing, I'm very happy to see them flourishing and doing their own thing. I love that there's a huge family energy when it comes to Nadao because the senior artists always consider their junior like their little brothers and sisters (Ice Paris being the MC for both DICE and BUS showcases, Tor and Ice being the MCs for the 789 Survival). P'Yong has previously talked about how "Nadao isn't just a company, it's like a home. That's why when some of their artist left Nadao, P'Yong considered it more as them "graduating" so they can grow and build path on their own."

Below is a clip of Tor talking about how grateful he is to P'Yong (if you watch 9x9 documentary and some other interviews Tor did, you'll see that P'Yong can be quite harsh to him and put much pressure on Tor (and other Nadao artists as well) but they all seem to look up to him like a parental figure)

Not to mention, if you are a fan of Hormones, the girls always have their annual reunions and it always warms my heart to see how close they still are with each other.

Sighs... I almost completely forgot the question again. But yea Nadao definitely could have stayed and given us more magnum opus because I personally haven't had enough at all but it's great to see P'Yong happy with his successful groups and the former Nadao artists going on their own individual paths while maintaining good relations with P'Yong and Nadao/GDH creative crew (directors, producers, writers...)

[jessreadsandreads]

will you please share how the love lasagna works out for you? Enquiring minds want to know 👀

I would absolutely love to share the outcome of my magical lasagna -- thank you very much for asking! So, I actually cooked -- and immediately began eating, but it took several days to finish everything, between just me and my partner -- both the lasagna, and a complementary spell recipe for a carrot cake cheesecake of love and prosperity, all the way back on May 18th. I had read a post by @elminx suggesting that it would be auspicious timing for that sort of work, so I had made kitchen witchcraft plans centering on that date. However, I feel as though I've been experiencing snowballing results ever since then, which culminated in a thoroughly incredible dinner and a movie date, at my place, exactly one month later! I won't enumerate all of the instances of good luck, unexpected gifts, and small amounts of surprise money that arose during that time-frame, for both my partner and myself, because there were far too many, and I wouldn't honestly be able to remember all of them anyway, but the dating results definitely have me believing in the power of lasagna. My self-love and confidence have been busily growing like weeds, and it really comes through in how many new connections I've begun building, and how many existing connections I've intensified, in the past thirty or so days. I've had an utterly ridiculous amount of casual hang-outs and birthday celebrations with existing friends, generally initiated by them, which involved loads of deep conversations and strengthening of bonds; my nesting partner and I have had even more break-through conversations, adorable moments, and awesome dates than usual; I had a fabulous board games night with a blossoming new friend, who was formerly my work-crush, which we plan to repeat as soon as possible, and during which we gifted each other fancy lotions (it wasn't a planned thing, but it's kind of funny that we both did that), I gave her a huge batch of chocolate-peanut-butter-self-love cookies, and she gave me several sets of rainbow earrings; I have a sudden abundance of unsolicited, but unusually cute, unusually respectful messages from thoughtful, interested parties on a kinky social network site; someone who I was very interested in, but who had ghosted me for a while, popped back up with a genuine apology and a reasonable explanation, and we're planning a first date as soon as our schedules align and the weather cooperates for a walk on the trails with their dogs; someone else I had been involved with forever ago, but fallen out of touch with, sprang back up in an unlikely place, although I've been too saturated to do anything about it; and, most importantly, I finally had my much postponed, but ultimately amazing movie date on Tuesday, following a ton of build-up. It went so well that I received perhaps my funniest and most flattering compliment from someone post-date -- amongst the other sweet things she said, during and afterwards, she added, "I may have at least one friend asking me to introduce you to her." Ha!

However, I think the results for my partner are the truly impressive ones, because while he's already attractive as hell on physical, emotional, and intellectual levels, it is hard to get in front of anyone on the dating apps, especially as a cisgender, straight-passing, polyamorous man with an existing partner. The Tinder algorithm odds just aren't stacked in his favour. Not only has he suddenly been getting matches, and into flirtatious conversations, but he had a wildly successful first date on Monday, they've planned a second date for next week, and he's planning on asking her for a third date the following week. I haven't met her -- of course! -- but she sounds so lovely and perfect for him, ahhh!

[bcofl0ve]

hey, what do you think of austin in elvis? i know it's one of his biggest projects and i confess i haven't had the courage to watch it yet because i feel that maybe the film glamorizes elvin's story too much when we know he wasn't that glamorous, right? always abusive and problematic with women, especially priscilla, involvement with minors, drugs and all that. idk about the movie's approach, but it annoys me a lot of people (or even austin) think elvis is some kind of inspiration because ok, he was talented, but come on…its not hate yk, but i see so many people deifying the movie and if it's only because of austin's performance i really believe it because he's a PERFECT actor…i wanted to hear from you :)

hiii! assuming you’re a newer fan if you haven’t seen it since i feel like that’s how most of us (at least generally speaking) got here.

i saw elvis 10 times in theaters, once 3 times in 48 hours when it was doing a $5 ticket run during 2023 awards season LOL. soooo i think that tells you how i feel about it! it’s one of my favorite films of all time. i think austin absolutely knocked it out of the park and baz’s directing style is *my* style so. it was all around perfect, to me personally.

i also feel the need to clarify that i am an elvis presley fan. i have a tattoo for the man 😅. i understand he had some very deep seeded issues (i also adore priscilla to bits. not one of those elvis fan who thinks she’s an evil incarnate for daring to love him while also being honest about his short comings! i gen really liked the priscilla movie as well!) while 1+1=2 a movie endorsed by the estate isn’t going to show every waking bad thing he ever did, i think it did a good job of showing that he was very infallible. it shows him cheating on priscilla, and his anger issues. (one of priscilla compliments to austin was that he nailed elvis’s temper…🫣) the movie as a whole is very ‘heavy is the head that wears the crown’ themed in that it’s centered around the ups and severe downs of the massive fame he got, at a time where he was really the first artist to achieve that level of super stardom. i love it for that.

but in terms of reservations about watching it for the first time- i think it may help you (and anyone else with similar qualms about it) to check out some of the interview lisa marie (elvis and priscilla’s daughter) did with austin? she is very *very* protective of her father’s legacy, understandably. but she adored the movie, spoke very highly of it and loved austin to bits. it makes me emotional to know she got the biopic of her father that she deserved in this lifetime.

she unfortunately passed away suddenly in january 2023 just a few days after watching austin win his golden globe and i have never been crushed by a celebrity death like that. ever. the love she shared with/for austin was so so beautiful and i was heartbroken that such a happy time for her with all the movies success, especially after losing her son to suicide in 2020 got cut short how it did. (if this feels like i’m being OTT, i’m not. lisa herself captioned a photo with austin during press ‘i do believe this might be my first smile in 2 years’)

just for some added context re: lisa marie and austin. during press she took him upstairs at graceland for *3 hours*, something that’s outright unheard of for non family members. even baz only got 20 minutes up there for pre production, and he wasn’t allowed to take photos/had to quick sketch and memorize as much as he could.

i know her adoration of austin meant the world to him, and to me that says so much more about his portrayal of elvis then i’ll ever be able to as just a fan. i hope this helps, but feel free to circle back and follow up!!! ❤️