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lowkeyerror · 2 months ago

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Always There

Agatha Harkness x Vampire!Reader x Rio Vidal

Word count: 4.9k

Notes: Non-major character death, depictions of violence, graphic violent content (blood, mob violence/torture, detailed wounds), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, small mention of suicial tendencies, italics=past

Summary: Vampire reader has had a casual relationship with Agatha and Rio, but eventually too many years pass since their last encounter, the vampire starts to wonder if they still cared for her.

An: Posting this immediately after I finished writing it. Hope you enjoy. Likes, replies, reblogs, and all of that are appreciated 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Edit: Not me saying itallics and forgetting to actually put them lol

Masterlist

You’ve had a casual fling with Agatha and Rio for as long as you can recall. There’s a stereotype about witches coming and going as they please, and you find it to be frustratingly true.

It's easier to get ahold of Rio than Agatha, which is ironic considering that Rio is literally Death. With the title comes the job, so all you truly needed to get a glimpse of her was a body. Perhaps you could arrange the carcasses in a way that said ‘stay with me forever’.

As a vampire, you had time to wait. There was no rush, which is how you believe things got so casual. You could never forget how you met the pair.

At the time angry mobs were running rampant, looking for anyone to persecute. You were a known vampire living not to far from a village. They hunted you for sport. There were many of them that you killed, but eventually they were able to ambush you. When they did, they used wooden spikes to pin you to a large ‘X’ that they built. The scars from were they impaled your flesh still present today.

They tortured you; punching, spitting, stabbing, you had eventually lost track of time after a few hours. The need for blood weakening you enough to where breaking free was nearly impossible.

They’d come in shifts for the torture and leave only one person to watch you in the night. That was their only flaw. You didn’t expect anyone outside of the village to come across you, but someone did.

Your head was hung low, when you heard the unmistakable sound of a body hitting the ground. You raised it slightly, to see the guard that was supposed to be watching you, dead on the floor.

“You don’t look too well.”

It had been days since you had tried to speak, so your voice was hoarse, “I wouldn’t think so.”

“What are you? Only someone different, is worth all of this trouble,” a different voice spoke.

Your eyes look to where the voices are coming from, but you only see shadows. Your tongue is dry as it passes over your bloody chapped lips.

“Vampire,” you mumbled.

“Help me get her down.”

When they approached, you finally got a good look at them. You couldn’t help but stare at their features. Both youthful with rosy cheeks. Rio’s large brown eyes caught your attention immediately, warm yet hiding something. Agatha’s features were sharper, her cheekbones, her jawline, even her eyes.

“This will hurt,” Rio examined the wood embedded into your skin.

“I know,” you spoke weakly.

You expected them to pull the spikes out with their hands. Instead your eyebrows furrowed when purple and green tendrils of magic worked around the spikes. Instead of 4, painfully slow, agonizing moments, there was only one rough pull, before your body fell off of the ‘X’. Only your knees hit ground as Agatha and Rio held up the rest of your body.

Your full weight pushed against them as your head rested in between their shoulders, “Thank you.”

“Hungry?”

Your eyes glowed a dim red, “I could drain a village.”

“Bloodthirsty, even in this state?” Agatha teased.

“Especially in this state,” you corrected.

You could hardly move, but you attempted to stand on your unstable legs. You grunted in pain as you put one foot in front of the other. Your focus was on the dead guard. His heart was no longer beating, but blood still filled his veins. It was calling to you, it had been too long since you had fed.

Your fangs snack into the man’s neck viciously. You had no remorse for the corpse as his body began to lose color as you drank. He wasn’t a large man, which was unfortunate, but he sufficed for the moment.

Harsh breaths and clearing of your throat, were indicators of how much you needed that. You wiped the blood off of your mouth with the back of your hand.

Your wounds were slowly closing, but it was taking all of the energy you had just gained.

“I can heal you faster,” Rio said tentatively grabbing your forearm.

She extended it so that it’s flat, before quickly running her tongue over the spot. You looked at her as if she was crazy, but then back at your wrist. The hole from the stake was gone, in its place was only a scar.

If you had a pulse, you were sure that it would be beating wildly.

You glanced at Agatha, who watched on, “Do you do that too?”

She shook her head, “Earth witch specialty.”

“How long did they have you like that?” Rio’s eyes have examined your body, noticing the extensive damage. Her finger trailed one of the nastier slashes across your stomach.

“I don't recall,” you spoke honestly.

Rio was careful as she healed the larger wounds on your body, you told her not to worry about the less significant ones. Even when she was done you were still caked in dirt and mostly your own blood.

“Let me help you out doll,” Agatha waved her fingers swiftly, and soon you were clean as a whistle.

Your tattered clothes replaced as if they were new, dirt and blood alike removed from your body. Ugly scars, now covered except for the few that littered your face.

“Why help me? We are only strangers, I don’t even know your names.”

“Abominations to humanity must stick together lest we want them to wipe every one of us out . You can call me Rio.”

“Agatha Harkness, pleasure to save you beautiful.”

One of your eyebrows raised, “Witch killer, Agatha Harkness?”

The woman chuckled, “I see my reputation supersedes my community. Does my aura scare you…”

“Y/n, and it does not. There are no rules when it comes to preservation of self. I’ve killed my own kind for good reasons and some not so good reasons. Bodies just seem to pile up when I’m around.”

“That why they nail you up like that?” Rio questioned.

You shrugged, “I suppose, a mixture of that and fear.”

“People fear death,” she spoke.

You shook your head as you corrected her, “Mortals fear death. I know people who are thousands of years old, who run from ailments of morality. They are foolish, death cannot be outran. Though it may take longer for her to come, she will eventually get all of us.”

“You aren’t afraid to die?” Agatha questioned you.

“No, there’s no point. She’ll come for me when it’s my time, but until then what is there to fear besides a wasted life.”

Rio had a small smile on her face, “Quite the philosophy you’ve fostered. Just one question, if you feel that way, then why kill anyone in the first place?”

It was your turn to chuckle, “If someone was meant to live, they simply would. I’m not stealing life, simply gifting death to those who have decided that it is their time.”

“How do you know that they’ve decided?” Agatha counters.

“Well you see, many people are weary of vampires and they should be. They let their guard down, they get comfortable, they play with their food instead of finishing the job. Those actions have consequences and I like to deal with those consequences personally. So I suppose when they choose to wrong me, they’ve chosen to die.”

“And the villagers who did this to you?” Rio pondered aloud.

You eyed her cautiously, “Do you stand to stop me?”

Rio shook her head, “I keep a witch killer in my company, you think I’m above a rightfully earned massacre?”

“Well you spoke of solidarity amongst-”

“Think of it this way, we can do what we want amongst each other, as it is our business. The humans have no right, to do what we do.”

You nod, “I agree.”

“So, you’re going to destroy the village?” Agatha questioned.

“My goal is to drain every last one.”

After that first encounter you were drunk on the thought alone of Agatha and Rio. Finding out Rio's true identity only made you lust for her even more. You knew that both had bonded with each other in ways you hadn’t understood, but that didn't stop your feelings from developing.

It didn't take long for them to fold you into their relationship, at least partially. They weren’t always around, but when they were everything seemed to fall back into place.

However, you’d be lying if you said you hadn't been getting restless these last few years. It was feeling like you saw less of them, especially Agatha. It felt like a game of cat and mouse. Somehow you had ended up chasing after them.

Tonight you walk the streets bored, part of you looking for trouble. Rumblings of new age vampire hunters in the area had piqued your interest. So you’d have a chance to have some fun or at minimum find your next meal.

Your fingers play with the rings they had gifted you, centuries ago. In the past you could feel both of them signaling you through the jewelry. It was a faint buzz, something like a hum, through the ring. A feeling that you hadn’t felt in ages. You longed to feel it again, to feel them.

Alleyways didn’t scare you, hardly anything scared you these days. Yet as you take a step into this alley, you sense something immediately. You feel eyes on you, as you walk.

“Has anyone ever told you to be mindful of where you settle demon?”

You continue walking, the empty threat meant nothing to you.

“I know what you are, I can smell it on you,” the voice echoes against the walls.

Your ears twitch, and soon you’re holding a frail man against one of the concrete walls in the alley.

“If you know what I am, you should be more mindful of how you approach me,” your strength speaks for itself.

You don’t give him the pleasure of seeing your fangs or glowing red eyes.

“Ah, you’re one of the older ones. This will be quite fun,” he says gleefully.

“What are you-" the question dies on your lips as you feel a needle being jabbed into your neck.

Your hand instinctively shoots over the spot, and your growl in frustration. You drop the man against the wall, turning your attention to the person who stuck you from behind with the needle.

This man was much bigger than the other. He was about twice your size, but it did not matter. You bare your fangs, hissing at the muscular man.

“Why isn’t she dropping?” He yells, fear laced through his voice.

You take the moment to pounce on him. Your teeth wasting no time, sinking into his neck. The man convulses under you, but you’re stronger than him. Even when he grabs your neck you don’t relent.

“Impossible,” the frail man, whispers from his spot against the wall.

“Nice try, but-”

The sensation hits you like a truck. You feel your vision get blurry and your muscles weaken. You blink a few times trying to will yourself against the late acting sedative.

The frail man nods excessively as you begin to lose consciousness, “Slower than usual, but captured nonetheless.”

You’re jolted back into consciousness when you feel the stake being driven into your skin. You attempt to shoot out of whatever position you are in, but it only causes you a familiar pain. Unlike the first time you were nailed to something, this time it was straight up rather than ‘X’ formation. Your arms hung up straight above your head and your feet were slightly spread underneath.

One spike was used to pierce both of your hands in place while you had one for each foot. Your breathing only quickens even more upon noticing you are in a forest. This couldn’t be happening.

“Glad you could finally join us,” the frail man from earlier want alone this time. He had a group of people with him.

“Let me go, and I’ll consider sparing you one I'm free,” you say, yet no one moves.

“You hold no power here, demon,” the man walks around you. “I am doctor Helsing, you may be familiar with my ancestors.”

Your jaw twitches, “ Van Helsing.”

He chuckles, “What a smart creature you are?”

“What do you want from me?”

His chuckle turns into a boisterous laughter, “ You can't offer me anything that I don't have the ability to take.”

You glare at the people in front of you, eyes turning a vicious shade of red, “The last group of people that tried something like this, paid for their sins with their lives. I hope you’re prepared to do the same.”

“They did quite a number on you, I can tell by your markings. Their only mistake was letting such a beautiful thing like you go,” Helsing says, his hand sliding across the scar on your abdomen.

“They didn’t let me go. I got out.”

His eyes had a glint as he leaned in, “And then you killed them all, how sad.”

He stabs you in the scar. Carving harder and deeper than the previous person. You grunt, but try to steel yourself under the knife. Yet you squirm finding the sensation to be more unpleasant than you had recalled.

“Silver cuts a little different doesn’t it?” He says watching the cut pour blood.

“You’re going to regret this.”

He turns his attention to the people, “Empty threats mean nothing when a beast is tied up. Would anyone else like a turn?”

People in his crowd begin to circle around you. Some with weapons, others cracking their knuckles. You're being attacked from all sides. The pain makes you tear up, but you avoid crying.

Instead you left out a bitter laugh, “That’s all you’ve got. Come on if you're gong to torture me at least put some passion behind it.”

“Oh, we’re just getting started. I want to hear you beg for your life, I want to see you broken, beaten, defeated. I want you to ask for death and then I'll award it to you.”

You spit at Helsing, “I’m not scared of death.”

He wipes your spit off of his face, a scowl now present, “For centuries my family has been driving your species to extinction. The failures may eclipse the successes, but don't think that we were never successful. You will fall at the hands of Van Helsing, creature.”

He has a device in his hand, he shoves it into your mouth. It forces your mouth open and your fangs out. He stares at them in awe. You try to clamp your mouth shut or retract your fangs, but you are unable to. You start to panic.

“Just like a snake, de-fang the vampire and a lot of that fear is gone,” his smile is sadistic.

You feel your adrenaline sky rocket as you shake violently. Your eyes wide in terror. The wood stake ripping your skin, but the pain was nothing akin to the fright.

You don’t remember the last time you were truly this scared.

He laughs and some of the crowd laugh along with him, “Are you afraid now, demon?”

Tears fall from your eyes and he coos. You flinch at his hand touching your face. His fingers were rough and callused against the swollen skin. You move your head as if to attack him and he stumbles back.

He grabs your jaw roughly, “This is the power of man.”

“Looks like someone is having a party and forgot to invite us.”

You know that voice. It makes you close your eyes in relief. The panic you felt in the moment begins to dissipate.

Everyone looks to the sky following the sound of the voice. It’s there that they see Agatha and Rio floating in the sky. Most of the crowd has their mouths agape, not believing what they are seeing.

“Should we offer them mercy, Agatha? Maybe our invites got lost in the mail?”

“This matter does not concern you foul wenches, be gone,” Helsing says, his voice trembles a bit at the end.

It’s Agatha that cackles looking down at the man, “See that’s where your wrong because…”

Rio appears behind the man, her skeletal form on her face, “If it concerns her, then it concerns us.”

Her dagger lays on his neck and he looses his composure.

“Anyone want to be brave?” Agatha questions the crowd, who screams when she shoots her magic at a nearby tree exploding it.

“What happened? A second ago you were lining up to torture her, but now you’re scared,” Rio adds pressure to her dagger.

“Don’t get shy now, doctor. Nothing to say?” Agatha gets closer to him.

The group tries to scatter but she traps them in a circle full of fire. They’re forced to gather close to each other. Their screams make you smile.

Agatha pulls the device out of your mouth carefully. Her hand caresses your face gently. You lean into her touch.

“We have to stop meeting like this doll,” Agatha mumbles only for you to hear.

“We wouldn’t have to meet again if you stopped leaving,” you shoot back.

Agatha casts her gaze away from you and over to Helsing. She and Rio switch places. The Green Witch, uses her vines to pull the spikes out of your body. It’s a feeling that never gets easier to experience.

You land on your feet ignoring the burning sensation. With your back tall you walk over to Helsing. You crouch in front of him, despite your own agony.

You hold his eyes, “Funny, I recall you telling me I’d beg for death. Well now she’s here for me, just not in the way you expected is it?”

Rio wiggles her fingers at the doctor, “I loved dragging the souls of your family to eternal damnation, can’t wait to reunite you with them.”

“Humans are all the same, always playing with food that’s not yours,” you stand towering over the man.

“Hey I like to play with my food,” Agatha pouts.

You smile, “When you have power you can do what you want.”

You open your hand and Rio drops her dagger into your grasp. The crowd watches in panic behind the flames as you approach the man.

“However, I’ve never been one to play with my food,” in a swift motion you slit his throat.

The gasps and screams of his followers sounds like music to your ears. He gargles his own blood reaching for his neck.

“Your blood isn’t worth drinking,” you watch as he collapses. You turn to address the crowd, “None of you have worthy blood. Cowards, followers, miscreants, I hope it was worth it. The price is your life, now burn.”

Agatha waves her hand dismissively and the crowd of people are quickly evaporated. Ash and burnt grass the only remnants of the aggressors.

Upon their destruction you crumble to the floor. Your body screaming at you for the abuse you endured.

Rio starts with the wound on your stomach before healing the spiked points. Your body still aches when she’s finished, but it’s substantially less than before.

“Déjà vu isn’t it bunny?” Agatha opens the floor for conversation.

“Now isn’t the time Agatha,” Rio scolds the woman, who raises her hands in defense.

“I was just reminiscing, is that a crime?”

You stand, “Well, good seeing you. Same time… in the next few centuries or…”

“You’re hurt,” Rio argues.

“You healed me enough,” you shrug.

Agatha rolls her eyes, “What’s with the attitude princess?”

You place a hand on your hip, “When was the last time we saw each other, Agatha? Rio, you only come when I leave bodies in my wake. So sorry if I’m not thrilled it takes me being captured and tortured to get some time together.”

“It’s always been this way,” Agatha argues back.

Your voice takes on an uncharacteristically soft tone, “I know and I’m tired. I don’t want whatever this is. I need something more, something tangible. It’s fine if you don't want to give that to me, but I can't keep waiting.”

You try to keep calm as you pull the rings off of your fingers, hand out stretched to give them back to their original owners.

“Y/n…”

“Take them… please. Free me, from whatever this is. I’m grateful that you saved me on our first day and maybe the same thing happening again is fate telling me that this is our last day,” you get the courage to look at them with teary eyes.

“You don't even believe in fate,” Agatha tries to reason with you.

“How would you know, you haven't been around. Things change, people change,” you tell her.

Agatha looks to Rio for help, but The Green Witch, just keeps her eyes on you.

“That’s bullshit! If change is so real, how’d we end up right back where we started hmm? Poor little hung up bat, in need of saving and here we are like always,” Agatha’s theatrics peak through her words.

“Like always?” You repeat, in disbelief.

“Look sweetheart, I know that-"

You ball your fists at your side, “What could you possibly know Agatha? Tell me, I’m interested in hearing. Did you know I spend all my time waiting for either of you to tell me if you want me or not? I don’t sleep, I just think and think and think about finding a way to end it all without having to see either of you. Hard to kill yourself with Death keeping tabs on you, even without a heartbeat. I knew this guy was tracking me, I knew what he wanted to do, and I said fuck it. I don’t care, what’s there to live for anyway?”

“You can't be serious?” Rio doesn’t want to believe what you’re saying.

“Of course I’m serious, part of me thought that after all these years humans would be over torture, but that was foolish of me. Why would I think that you'd come to save me? I still don’t understand why you did.”

“Because we love you, you fucking idiot!” Agatha shouts at you.

You scoff, “Do you really? I couldn’t tell by the hundreds of years apart.”

“We were protecting you,” Agatha gets in your space.

“What could have possibly been protecting me? Oh no, a loving and caring environment? How ever could I have managed such domestic delights and pleasures,” your voice drips sarcasm.

“You do realize that Rio is Death, right? Her job is literally to reap souls, you aren’t the only one that doesn’t get to see her often. And me… I’m all trouble, doll. There’s not a pleasant bone in my body.”

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest, “Did you forget who I am? Have you had a head trauma recently, or maybe you need a refresher? I’m not the greatest either, cupcake. I just slit a man’s throat and had his followers executed.”

“By me,” Agatha points out.

“Ok and you want credit for the villages I killed too? The vampires I murdered? The people I lied to? The whores I fucked? I’m not some sweet innocent thing you picked up off of the side of the road. My ledger has had blood on it since before you killed your original coven.”

Your eyes are red as they stare into her blue ones.

“We were scared,” Rio interrupts the rising tensions between you and Agatha.

“Scared of what?” You glance at her.

“Of committing to you. Hell, Agatha and I can’t even fully commit to each other. This game of cat and mouse, it’s all we know. You’re right, you deserve more, so much more, but we don’t know how to give it. We don’t know what a domestic life looks like, we aren’t domestic people. I didn't think there would be any doubt in your head that we loved you, and maybe that just shows how fucked up we really are,” Rio monologues.

Her words hit you harshly. They make you want to start crying all over again. You cast your gaze to the floor.

“I guess that brings us back to the original point then, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s better if we just, end it here,” you can’t look at them.

“If that’s what you want?” Rio nods solemnly.

Agatha looks between the two of you, “Are you two stupid or something? You have to be if you think I’m just going to agree to this.”

“Agatha-”

“Don’t. I love you, both of you. I don’t want this to end and if that means changing the way things operate, then I guess things just have to change,” Agatha speaks seriously.

“What are yo-”

You startle when Agatha grabs your hands in both of hers. Her eyes locking fiercely onto yours. She doesn’t blink as she speaks, “Move in with me.”

“What?”

“You want time together, we can have time together. We’ve basically been together for centuries, come live with me.”

“Agatha, I think you've lost the plot,” Rio says, cautiously.

“You too Dr. Green Thumb. Let’s all move in together,” Agatha nods her head.

“That doesn’t fix everything,” you focus on her hands over yours.

She doesn’t hesitate to raise her hands to cup your face, “There’s obviously a lot to fix, but you can’t tell me this isn’t a step in the right direction. Y/n, I don’t want to- I can’t lose you. I’m not willing to let you go without a fight.”

Your face heats in her hands. Her eyes are ablaze with passion as they keep contact with yours.

You sigh and rest your forehead against hers, “I don’t know Agatha.”

Rio joins the moment, carefully wrapping her arms around your torso, “I don’t think any of us really know, but I think we’re supposed to find out together.”

“Please,” Agatha’s breath hits your lips. “Just a chance to make up for lost time. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t, but please don’t give up on us yet.”

Hearing Agatha beg like this tugs at your heart. You don’t want to give in this easily, but you’ve already wasted so much time.

“Ok.”

As the word falls from your lips, Agatha surges forward. You can recall the last time her lips were on yours. The warmth that they were able to send through your body. How firm she was in her kiss, not scared or uncertain as your lips moved together. She knew what she wanted and it was hard to picture a world in which she’d kiss someone she wasn’t interested in the way she was kissing you. You were the one she wanted.

Your legs grow weak, but Rio holds you steady. Her shifting grip, makes you turn to face her. Unlike Agatha she hesitates. She takes a moment to admire your features, she wasn’t in a rush. Neither were you. Rio’s kiss is softer than Agatha’s, her plush lips, move experimentally against yours. It’s not like she’s forgotten, more like she’s re-exploring. She's playful, as her teeth nibble on your bottom lip. You laugh at the sensation.

Rio rests her head on your shoulder. She extends her hands, motioning for the other witch to get closer. Agatha wraps her arms around the both of you. Her front to your back while her hands rest on Rio’s back. You’re encased by them, a feeling that is welcomed yet foreign to you.

“Promise that you'll keep me close” you say to both of them.

“Until the road ends, my love,” Agatha kisses the top of your head.

“I’ll hold you even after the road ends,” Rio kisses the base of your neck.

“Do you always have to one up me?” Agatha says to Rio.

Rio chuckles, “Sounds like a skill issue sweetheart.”

“Oh, we’ll see who has a skill issue later, when you’re begging me for help because my fingers are longer than yours,” Agatha says smugly.

Rio pulls back from you to glare at Agatha, “If you don’t want to ‘help’ me, I’ll just ask Y/n. Isn’t that right sweetheart?”

You blush at the innuendo.

“Nuh uh, bunny. I think I recall you liking my treats better, because someone has a skill issue,” Agatha sticks her tongue at Rio.

You turn an even deeper shade of red.

“You can never let an emotional moment be,” Rio says.

“Well you’re always trying to out ‘emotional’ me,” Agatha replies.

“It’s not my fault you’re not as smooth as me, mi vida,” Rio counters again.

Agatha throws her hands up, “I know Spanish and Latin too, you’re not special Vidal.”

Rio raises an eyebrow, “And who taught you?”

The back and forth makes you laugh, “Are you sure you don’t do domestic, because you bicker like an old married couple?”

They both huff at your statement.

“We’ll continue this at home,” Agatha points at Rio.

The brown eyed woman puts her hand over her heart in faux-fear, “Oooo, I’m terrified.”

Agatha opens a portal to her house and both women step through. Not stopping their bickering for a second. You smile as you watch them, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.

“The portal isn’t going to stay open forever, bunny, come on,” Agatha reaches her hand to pull you through.

You take it, stepping into your new beginning.

#lowkeyerror #agatha x reader #agathario #agatha harkness x rio vidal #agatha harkness x rio vidal x reader #agatha harkness x reader #rio vidal x reader #rio vidal #agatha harkness

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 5 months ago

Text

Part 1: It's Not A Big Deal

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.

Tropes: Fluff, Frenemies (Dean and the Reader), Awkward Situation, Multiverse Problems.

Word Count: 3.1K (I promise I didn't mean for it to happen)

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just to be sure. There is some swearing (only a few times), Heated Kiss, Sexual Innuendo, References to Sex/Past Sex (it happens quite a bit). Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy (Everyone knows he’s a warning).

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: Okay I know that I should be working on my other fics, but I had this idea after reading an INCREDIBLE fic by @justagirlinafandomworld called "Stranded" for @jacklesversebingo and I couldn't help myself.

Sam squeals the car into the parking lot of the motel so loud that Dean and you can hear the high pitched scream of rubber on asphalt from your room on the second level.

"If he ruins those tires he's going to pay for them." Dean grumbles under his breath from where he sits at the small wooden table under the window, wiping down his gun with a clean rag. The sunlight that came streaming through dramatized the sharp angles of his jaw and the soft sleepy strands of his hair that still stuck up from when he woke up an hour ago.

"I don't know what his hurry is." You don’t look up from the worn paperback perched in your lap, gently turning the page. "If he's that eager to get back here to tell us something he should have just called."

“Maybe there was a sample sale on hair gel.” Dean laughs at his own joke and you can sense him look up from the gun to try and catch your eye, but you don't raise your gaze from the text.

“That’s pretty brave coming from someone who owns 90% of the products in that bathroom.”

“What? I do not-“

“Really? If I walk in there right now there won’t be seven different half-used deodorant sticks?”

“They’re different smells." Dean says defensively. "And shut up. I don’t comment on how many books you bring with you. Don’t know why you need to shove a million in your bag and then just buy one while you’re here.”

“Because I might not feel like reading the ones I bring. I might want to try something new. And this book,” You wave the book in your hand for emphasis. “Is very good and I don’t have it back at the bunker, and it was only two bucks!"

“But the others ones might be good too. You don’t know.” Dean sighs, looking at you like you're insane. "You just let them sit and rot in your suitcase."

Today was the last day that you would be staying in Louis, Illinois. The current case that the three of you had been working on together had been solved, which meant that the townsfolk were no longer dealing with a zombie outbreak and you were at peace to settle down on your pull out bed with a good book, taking a few moments for yourself.

You desperately needed at least five, but you also wished that you were already back in your room at the bunker.

The bed there didn't have as many springs that stuck into your back at odd angles and didn't squeak whenever you moved an inch. Your inability to find a comfortable position meant that the mattress squeaked all night long and Dean had thrown his pillow at you to make it stop. He hadn’t been pleased when you returned it back to him. Then again, you had hit him in the face with it as hard as you could when you did.

And like hell you were going to give Dean Winchester the satisfaction of sleeping in bed with him. You’d had to do that one time on a hunt where there were no extra rooms and Dean refused to let you sleep on the floor or in his car. He said that you might make it spontaneously combust. So you'd shared the bed and learned that he was the biggest blanket hog you’d ever met, not to mention when you woke up he was spooning you and you couldn’t be certain, but you thought he had tried to cop a feel at least once.

If anything you’d maybe sleep in Sam’s bed, but the guy was so much bigger than you he took up most of the space, so you were stuck with the pull out couch.

You couldn't wait to be home. You liked going out on cases, but you liked that you had a home now, a space that was only yours, and someplace where you could shut yourself away from the world. And most importantly, away from Dean Winchester, who had been the bane of your existence since the night you met him for the first time.

Of course this wasn't too bad either. Taking a few moments of quiet for yourself while Dean cleaned his guns and sorted some of his tools in his duffle. The two of you were getting more comfortable around one another. When you’d first met there had been a lot of screaming and several "she's not going to be there is she?" and "what the hell is she doing here?" questions that Dean moaned to Sam over and over the more the three of you teamed up.

You weren't used to working with other people, well, now you were, but before it had just been you and the endless road. But as it began to happen more and more you tried to fit comfortably into the swing of things. Dean and you would occasionally bump heads, but it happened less now than it did before. After five years you'd hoped that the two of you could be more civilized, for Sam's sake at least.

Sam and you got along much better. You didn't understand what Dean's problem was with you, or why he hated you so much. He was always correcting you, insulting you, and snatching things away from you as if you hadn't been hunting your entire life. Occasionally it wasn't that bad, like right now, but it had been much worse a few years ago.

When you'd met Dean you'd hated him, thought he was a dick, but the more the two of you spent time together on cases the more you saw that he did those things to hide what he was feeling and the more you saw how big his heart was.

You believed that your relationship now with him had progressed to a sort of symbiotic relationship, but honestly it was more like passive aggressive roommates who fight over whose turn it is to clean the dishes.

Dean still tended to get high and mighty sometimes and annoyed you without end, but you stuck around and in Sam's words "bickered like an old couple."

Sam had gone to grab some snacks and fill the tank at the gas station down the street twenty minutes ago, leaving with a joyful "Don't kill each other."

So far there were no casualties, but apart of you itched to beam Dean in the back of the head with the paperback just for a little bit of excitement.

Sam bursts into the room out of breath. "Okay I-"

"Where's the fire Sammy?" Dean sighs looking up from his gun.

"I ran into someone when I was at the gas station." Sam says it all together, as if it's one sentence.

"And?" You move your hand in a come on gesture hoping that Sam will get to the point.

"Well he's- he's-"

The man that pushes into the room past Sam is not Dean, he looks like him, but that's not why he's so familiar. He's muscular with dark brown hair that hangs a little longer than Dean's, over the top of his ears, while a few strands fall forward on his forehead. He's allowed a dark beard to cover his cheeks, but his eyes are the same piercing green that they were the last time you saw him. And if that wasn't enough for you to recognize him, the dark green superhero suit would be a dead giveaway.

Oh shit.

"Ben?" You drop your book onto the thick carpeted floor in surprise.

Two months ago you had been unwillingly transported to another reality, a reality where superheroes were real, people had powers, and where you met a version of Dean that you actually got along with better than the Dean in your reality.

You hadn't told Sam or Dean what happened between Ben and you. You weren't about to admit out loud that you actually got along with another version of Dean or admit that you found the other version of Dean aka Ben, attractive. So attractive in fact that you had spent a good amount of the time in the other universe in bed with him before you came back to your reality.

Ben doesn't respond, instead he crosses the room in several powerful strides, and hauls you up off the pull out couch.

"What are you-"

One of his hands tangles in the back of your hair, pulling your mouth against his in a furious kiss that steals your breath away and silences whatever you were going to say next. A part of you registers that Dean and Sam are still in the room, but it's quickly swept away by how it feels to kiss Ben. You hadn't forgotten him, anything but that. Sometimes you actually kind of missed him, when you were lonely or when the Dean from your universe annoyed you too much. Because Ben annoyed you too, but at least at the end of it there was a way to relieve the tension. With Dean the only place you put all your frustration was into the hunt and there were only so many times you could bash a Djinn’s head in.

Ben's tongue brushes against your bottom lip, begging for entrance, and you let him in, bringing your hands up to the back of his neck to thread into the long strands of his hair. The strands fall between your fingertips, feathering out from your grip. You moan softly into his mouth as he deepens the kiss, feeling the familiar scratch of his beard against your cheeks, and feel his hand begin to slip down your back to rest on the curve of your ass.

Well, he certainly hasn't changed.

"Fuck I missed you sweetheart." Ben murmurs against your mouth squeezing your butt to emphasize the point. "You and this sexy fucking body."

"Ben." You roll your eyes with a snort.

"What? You didn't miss me?" He raises an eyebrow, forcing his mouth into an attractive pout. "Because you certainly seemed happy to see me a second ago." His free hand gently traces your plump lower lip with the pad of your thumb.

"I did and I am happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"

"Thought so." Ben leans his head back down towards yours, ignoring your question as he tries to kiss you again, but before he can Dean interrupts.

"What the fuck is going on?" Dean shouts, standing from the table under the window, and points his gun at Ben's unprotected back. "Who the fuck are you?"

Ben half turns over his shoulder eyes flicking from the gun to Dean with a sigh. "Look the only thing that's gonna do is piss me off. And you don't want that kid."

Dean makes a face. "Who the hell are you calling kid?"

"Now why don't you two fuck off for a few hours, let me give her a proper hello." Ben turns his dark eyes back on you, cupping your chin in his large hand.

"Y/n? You want to tell us what's happening? Or who this guy is?" Sam asks, but you can't look away from Ben.

You really had missed him. Ben was even more attractive than you remembered. The day that you'd left his universe, Ben had asked you to stay, well, had asked you in his own way. He'd said that he wasn't done with you and if you had stayed he would have made it worth your while. But you had to come back. You weren’t sure how Dean and Sam would survive without you and also because the universe that Ben inhabited was more terrifying than yours, and that was saying something, given that you dealt with demons on a daily basis.

"Guys this is Ben." You clear your throat. "Ben this is Dean and Sam."

"Ben as in Soldier Boy? From the fucked up reality with the people with superpowers Ben?" Dean sputters. He lowered the gun slightly, but he's still looking from Ben to you like he's just walked in on his parents making out.

"Yes." You say it slowly, trying to find a way out, but there really isn't any way to hide this.

It's not that big a deal, is it?

Ben releases you and turns to look at Dean, eyes skating over his body. "So that's Dean?" He tilts his head to the side. "Kinda scrawny. The way you described him made me think he'd look a little more like a man and less like a fucking pussy."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Dean takes a step towards Ben, holding his gun steady out from his chest. You noticed that Dean did try to puff it out more after Ben's insult.

"You heard me." Ben smirks, welcoming the challenge.

"Whoa!" You step between them. "Calm down ladies there's enough Prada to go around at this sample sale."

Ben's eyes narrow in confusion at your comment, but he doesn't back down from Dean.

"I'd say that you left a few details out of your trip!" Dean shouts looking from Ben to you in disgust. "Did you sleep with me?"

"What?" You look at him like he’s crazy.

What does he mean?

"You, and him." Dean gestures wildly with the gun. "Did you sleep with me?"

"What are you talking about? No I didn't sleep with you, I slept with him and it was only once!" You shout back.

Ben clears his throat.

"Fine. A few times.” You correct with a sigh.

“But- you- him-“ Dean’s head turns from Ben to you. “Him- you-.”

“Yeah. Me and her fucked.” Ben says it slowly like Dean is a child.

Honestly he was acting a little bit like a child.

Sam is holding back his laughter behind a hand while Dean’s eye begins to twitch aggressively.

This is exactly why I didn’t tell him. They aren’t the same person! Dean is Dean and Ben is Ben. Someone who shares the same face. And probably the same other things that I’m not going to think about right now because that seems crazy.

"How many times is a few?” Dean demands.

"Why does that matter?”

"HOW MANY?" He shouts so loud that you think the people in the next room over were probably having a wonderful time listening to this soap opera.

Because it kinda did sound like one right? The main character never gets along with someone and then gets transported to another reality through a colorful portal and immediately clicks with another version of him. And-

Maybe I need to rethink my life.

"Well..." Your face scrunched up trying to count exactly how many times that you and Ben had sex. It was difficult. Not that it was hard to remember, you knew that you weren’t going to forget it anytime soon, but just the amount of times the two of you were together was more than you could count on your fingers.

"Well what? You were there for five days!"

"I mean..." You shrug.

“Why?” Dean groans pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to scrub the images from his brain.

Honestly, if he’d told you that he had sex with another version of you, you probably would have had the same reaction, but you were not about to admit that to Dean Winchester of all people.

He’s not gonna win this argument. Especially not when he's waving his gun around like a psychopath.

“Because he's-“ You glance over at Ben who winks at you. “I don’t know. He’s just kinda-.”

“Everything you’re not.” Ben raises his eyebrow at Dean.

“Sammy you gonna weigh in on this?” You look at Sam expectantly hoping that he can jolt Dean out of the never ending loop he seemed to be stuck in.

“Nope. I’m staying out of it.” Sam holds his hands up in surrender.

“I cannot believe you slept with me!” Dean shouts again.

“Stop saying that! I didn’t sleep with you! I slept with him. Can we please move on-“ You groan.

"Same thing!"

"What? How is it the same thing?” You plant your hands on your hips glaring at Dean.

"He's me from another universe!" Dean is gesturing wildly with his gun now. “How would you feel if I slept with an alternate version of you?”

“It’s completely different!”

“How?”

“They aren’t us!”

“He sure as hell looks like me!" Dean snaps back. "What did you close your eyes the whole time or something?"

Your cheeks flare bright red with Dean's question. "No I didn't!"

“And I don’t look like you.” Ben grunts crossing his arms over his chest and giving Dean a once over again.

“He also doesn’t act like you.” You add.

It was true, Ben didn’t. And for some reason you got along with him more. You didn’t understand what Dean’s problem was, but for the better part of five years he’d been treating you like you hadn’t been hunting your whole life. Not to mention the first three years were spent with Dean barely saying two words to you without some kind of insult attached.

“That’s beside the point!”

“How is that beside the point?” You demand.

“I can’t believe you did this!”

"I didn't kill anyone Dean. I didn't torture any babies or kill any puppies. We are consenting adults! We had sex-"

“No no no!” Dean puts his fingers in his ears. “Lalalalala.” He sings to himself to avoid the image.

"And we're gonna have it again. So the two of you should clear out, unless you're in to that kind of thing Deanie.” Ben wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you into him, but you don’t take your eyes off of Dean.

“Fuck I’m gonna need so much therapy after this” Dean groans putting the gun down on the table. Which was a good sign because now you weren’t worried that he would accidentally shoot Sam in the foot.

“Really? After everything you’ve gone through that’s what pushes you over the edge?” You ask him in shock.

“Yes. Are you happy? You’ve driven me to the point of insanity!” Dean snaps.

"You're acting like a child."

"I am not! I am having a completely normal reaction to finding out you slept with Wannabe Captain America!” Dean gestures to all of Ben who looks at Dean like he can’t tell if it’s an insult or not.

You take in a deep breath to calm your racing heart. “Why are you so upset that I slept with him Dean? I don’t understand how this is so earth shattering to you that two people had sex! You have sex with people all the time-“

“Not with you!”He snaps back, but then clears his throat when he realized what he just said.

“He is not YOU!” You shout rolling your eyes for the millionth time. At the rate he was going, you were sure they were going to roll out of your head.

“As important as this conversation is… can we maybe put a pin in it and go back to why he’s here?” Sam asks diplomatically.

“No-“ Dean says at the same time you say.

“Yes! Ben why are you here?”

“Don’t really know.” He shrugs taking a long hit from a joint that seemed to materialize out of thin air, while tightening his arm over your shoulders. “All I know was that I was fighting Homelander and someone hit me from behind. Then I ended up here.” Ben’s eyes trace your body. “But I’m not complaining, especially not because I got to see you again doll.” He winks.

“Homelander?” Dean repeats. “That is the stupidest hero name I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

“He’s anything but a hero.” You fight the shudder from the last time you ran in to him. “Think about Superman if Superman was a narcissistic sadist with a massive inferiority complex, no weakness, and an obsession with perfect hair.”

Dean looks Ben up and down with a heavy sigh. “I’m disappointed that I couldn’t have at least been a bit more like Batman.”

“Trust me. You don’t want to meet knockoff Batman from his reality either.” You respond.

"I guess I'll start doing some research." Sam says slowly, looking from Ben to you while hiding a smile.

He’s enjoying this way too much.

"Good." Dean frowns at Ben, before he claps him hard on the shoulder. You saw Dean fight the wince when he felt how solid Ben was. "Let's get you home buddy." His eyes dart from Ben to you. "Before you do anything else that'll scar me for life."

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are not required, but are always appreciated! 😊

Taglist: @roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester

#supernatural #soldier boy x you #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy/ben #jensen ackles #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester #supernatural fic #supernatural fandom

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buckyalpine · 1 year ago

Text

One Night

Bucky x f reader, Sam, Steve

IDK what this is, thought it’d be cute.

Warnings: ANGST but also lots of fluff, smut, pregnancy, flash back in italics, Bucky is a love sick puppy, story doesn’t follow exact Marvel timeline

Bucky didn’t have many things from the past he wanted back.

Not this desperately.

Most of his loved ones had already passed.

He made peace with the fact that he’d never get back the years that he’d lost, wouldn’t get the people that meant so much to him. He’d never get back all the hope and innocence he once had.

He’d managed to make peace with a number of things.

All but one.

It was just one night.

While he was on the run, just before Steve had found him.

He could still remember the feel of her soft skin.

The way her hands touched him so gently, the first time he’d ever had someone handle him with such care.

It was the only part of his routine in a day he looked forward to. It was the first time he felt hope again. The feeling of life. Of feeling alive.

Whenever he saw her, his heart would flutter a little faster. His feet would take longer strides so he’d see her sooner. He’d drop a few extra coins in her palm as she handed him the bag which always came with extra plums. He’d blush at the shy smile she’d give him, trying to refuse his extra money. He knew it was best to just admire from afar but he couldn’t escape the pull he felt, not when her voice was a soothing balm to all his heartache and pain.

He didn’t have the luxury to take her out for coffee. It was too dangerous, too risky, he’d never let anyone see her with him. She insisted she didn’t mind as long as she was with him, it didn’t matter where. He bought some tea and honey that day. A few cookies to go with it from a vendor beside hers.

His cheeks felt hot realizing the state of his apartment; wallpaper tearing off in the walls, the one glass and some mismatched mugs sitting on the counter top of the tiny kitchen. A single, worn mattress with nothing but a thin sheet to cover it sat in the corner of the room. A black backpack filled with his few belongings was stashed safely nearby incase he ever needed to run; the few clothes he had were folded neatly on a broken stool near his bed. She didn’t let him apologize for the mismatched mugs or the small chipped saucer he placed the cookies on but he wished he could have given her so much more.

Why did he think this was okay, this wasn’t what someone so sweet deserved. He was barely able to give her a glass of water, how could he possibly-

“James?” Her soft hand squeezed his, feeling him tense in her hold, his voice nervous as he spoke.

“I’m so sorry, I- this isn’t much-” He swallowed thickly, ready to apologize a thousand times over and beg her to leave. “You don’t have to stay-

“You don’t have to explain yourself” She smiled, letting her hand come up to cup his scruffy cheek, her thumb sweeping along the bags under his eyes. If only she knew the few times he slept peacefully was when he thought of her. There was a pull they both felt in the tiny space of the apartment, lit by the single lamp from the corner of the room. He let out a shaky breath, holding onto her waist with the softest touch as if she were made of porcelain.

“I-I haven’t done this in a long time” He shuddered, desperately wanting to feel the softness of her lips, the smoothness of her skin.

“Will you let me?” She let her hand gently trail up his broad chest, resting just above his where his heart was hammering against his ribcage. He nodded, staying frozen in place as her lips pressed softly against his, standing on her toes to reach more of him. He hesitantly dropped his hands lower pulling her closer, her tongue tracing along the seam of his lips, his mouth parting to let her in. He only pulled away when the need for oxygen was unavoidable, lips swollen and warm.

“I-” He wished he could have laid her down on the softest sheets and plushest pillows, a bed made for the angel that she was. Before he could start apologizing again she hushed him, pulling him to the thin mattress, laying with him. He let his hands explore her body, not remembering the last time he ever felt something so soft. He took his time sliding his hands up her thighs, down to her calves, feeling every inch of her skin, burning each touch to memory so he’d never forget.

He shivered at the feeling of her hands caressing his body, feeling the corded muscles that ran along underneath, fingers tracing over scars and divots that were permanently etched onto his skin. She didn’t give him a chance to feel self-conscious, worshipping the parts of himself he hated the most, her soft lips dancing along his shoulder between whispers of how he was worthy of love, clothes long forgotten.

“Can I?” He hesitantly asked, pumping his cock, gently rubbing it through her folds, feeling his tip dribble at how warm and wet she already was. There was nothing more he wanted than to be as close to her as possible, to be connected in a way so sacred and meaningful to him, to feel something he had never had before, not like this.

“Tell me what you want Jamie” her nose bumped against his, sighing contently at the feeling of him pressing against her, her thighs wrapping around his waist.

“I-

“Say it, love” She looked at him with such adoration, letting her hands drape across his thick wide shoulders, protected underneath his heavy body. His hair fell in a curtain around her, hiding the blush that covered his cheeks, the crimson flush deepening more when she pulled him in for a reassuring kiss.

“Want to be inside you” He moaned softly when she nodded, gasping with him as he began to push inside, a shiver trembling down his spine as he settled in her warmth.

“I won’t last” He shyly whispered, breathing heavily trying to collect himself, desperately wanting the feeling to last forever. “It’s-it’s been so long”

“We have all night” She cooed, squeezing her thighs together as a sign for him to be selfish, to let go and make himself feel good.

“Angel...” He moaned against her mouth as he started to move, hardly pulling out before pushing his hips back in. His strokes were deep, pressing her into the mattress each time, grinding his length in as far as it would go.

“Jamie” Her back arched off the bed, pressing her chest further against his, fingers carding through his chestnut locks.

“You- you feel so good” His voice was muffled, tucking his face into the crook if her neck, bringing his hands to lace with hers, pinning her against the mattress. Her heels dug into his lower back, locked together as he started to move faster.

“Not gonna last darling, I can’t- I-I want to but I can’t, I just can’t-

“Let go Jamie”

“Oh God-angel-m’sorry, feels-oh it feels so good-hngg, doll-m’cumming-please-”

“Thats it, c’mon, cum for me sweet boy” she rubbed his back, kissing his temple as he trembled above her, his moans and whines becoming more desperate. There was no second guessing anything as he let out a cry, clinging onto her tightly, shooting ropes of his warm spend into her.

He made love to her for hours that night as if he was the one thing that kept him alive. He refused to pull out, dozing off at the comforting feeling of his head on her soft chest, her arms cradling his body as if he were a precious baby, the both of them still connected together with a sticky mess between their legs, filling her with load after load.

“I’ll see you later” She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead as the sun peaked through the news paper that covered his windows, slipping her dress back on before collecting her things. He smiled, already planning for the next time he’d see her again; perhaps this time he’d buy some pastries too.

Little did he know that would be the last time he’d see her before he’d be on the run again.

Present

“He’s doing it again” Sam whispered to Steve, noting the way Bucky’s eyes scanned the crowd as if he were searching for someone but they couldn’t for the life of them figure out who Bucky would look for. It happened every single time. Be it a mission or a night out to relax, Bucky would zone out periodically, flicking blue eyes laser focused on every single person in the room.

“Force of habit I guess” Steve sighed, feeling awful that even after all this time, there wasn’t a day where Bucky felt safe in his surroundings, always looking out for danger. Bucky didn’t notice the conversation the men were having, too busy with doing a double check of all the faces that were also walking through the park.

It was pathetic. He wasn’t even in the same country from when he met her, it had been years but it didn’t stop him from always hoping. Always checking. He swallowed thickly while his mind continued to battle itself. It wasn’t healthy; he couldn’t go on like this, she probably didn’t even remember him but he just left without getting to even say good bye. What were the chances he’d ever see her again-

Until his eyes did a double take. The same beautiful smile, the same bright eyes, the same laughter that reignited the life in his heart. He got the same feeling all over again, cheeks immediately blushing, butterflies dancing in his tummy. His heart was ready to burst just like that night he spent with her.

There was no way.

But there was no one else. No one else like her.

No one else like you.

He’d waited and waited and he finally found you.

There you were, in the very same park in the middle of New York, in one of those sweet summer dresses he always loved on you. You had hardly changed, just as beautiful as he remembered from 4 years ago. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt hope like this, one where he thought he’d get his happy ending, not that he ever felt he deserved one but he couldn’t help it.

There you were.

His pretty angel.

His happiness was short lived when he saw you waving to a little boy jumping off the playground, his feet carrying him as fast as he could, running straight towards you. Perhaps a nephew or a little one you were babysitting-

“Mama!”

Bucky felt his heart sink to his stomach. The little one ran into your arms, clinging onto to you between squeals of laugher as you kissed his cheeks and carried him on your hip. He felt a thousand emotions crash over him at once as you walked off with your son in your arms, his already fragile heart breaking into two.

He had no right to you; no reason to expect you to be single. You deserved a life of happiness, of peace. You deserved to have someone in your life that would be there for you when you woke up each morning and someone to hold you when you went to sleep each night. Someone who could give you a family. Give you all the love you deserved every single day without having to fear they’d be missing without looking back twice.

You deserved more than him.

Then why did it hurt so much.

“You okay Bucky?” Steve noted the way his bestfriends face flushed, anxiously fidgeting with his fingers, quickly wiping away at his eyes while he nose reddened.

“Fine” Bucky nodded, clenching his jaw tightly and walking faster before the dam broke, his throat growing tighter. If only he had tried to find you earlier, always fearing searching for you would put you in danger. Now he had no chance, you’d found your happy ending. He let out the breath he was holding, thinking about the night he had with you, something he’d forever cherish. He thought about every single time he’d wake up extra early to see you. The first doll to ever make him blush like a school boy.

Maybe you were not with him.

But at least you were happy.

As long as you were happy, he’d be fine.

He had to be.

***

“Alright, what’s going on with you man” Sam spoke up, passing another beer to Steve, the three men lounging around the common room after the rest of the team had gone to sleep. It had taken both Steve and Sam hours of coaxing and bribing Bucky out of his room after he’d suddenly shut himself out from the rest of the world without reason for days on end. “You’re acting more and more like a hermit each day”

“Nothings going on-

“Cut the shit Buck” Steve deadpanned, sick of watching his best friend wither away without saying anything, clearly suffering in silence on the inside.

“You got Captain America swearing, now you have to tell us” Sam snorted while Bucky sighed, knowing he wouldn’t hear the end of it.

“There was-there was a girl- she had a stall at the market I used to go to while I was on the run” The two men nodded, listening intently while Bucky recalled the way it started off as just small friendly conversations to him spending the day by her side, happy to hear her voice for hours. He recalled the extra plums she’d sneak into his bag knowing that's what he bought the most.

“Awww, you had a little crush, that’s cute” Sam gushed while Bucky blushed, continuing to the day he decided to ask you out.

“I couldn’t risk letting anyone seeing her with me and it’s not like I had money to even take her out for a proper coffee. She came back to my apartment. It was in bad shape but she didn’t mind”

“So what happened next” Sam wiggled his brows, clapping in excitement when Bucky looked away, the blush spreading to his ears.

“N-nothing-I made her some tea, had some cookies...nothing fancy”

“That’s all that happened that night?” Sam continued to prod while Steve had sat more upright with wide eyes, surprised about all the things he didn’t know up until now.

“Um-we-I-” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck while Steve smirked at the burettes nervousness, “She stayed the night” He looked at the two men with pleading puppy eyes, hoping they’d understand what he meant without him having to come outright and say it.

“Get it terminator” Sam clapped Bucky’s back while he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “So what's the problem”

“Uh, well the next day she left in the morning and it was the same day I had to run again. Took my backpack and ran with Steve. I couldn’t even say good bye. I wanted to go back to find her but I was never able to. I also didn’t want to put her life at risk being associated with me and I never saw her again. Anyway. I-uh, just been thinking about her recently. It’s no big deal” Steve narrowed his eyes at the way Bucky nervously chewed his lip, clearly not telling them the full story.

“Stark has the best facial recognition technology in the world, just say the word, we can find her” Sam offered but Bucky shook his head. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them the reason why he wouldn’t have a chance with you again. That he did see you again and you had moved on with your life and found your own happiness. He chugged the last of his beer before calling it at early night. He squeezed his eyes shut but sleep refused to come. Maybe he would’ve been okay if he had never seen you. He’d waited too long to find you. It was his fault for being so scared.

He thought about how happy you looked scooping your son into your arms. The way he held onto you with so much love. He just knew you were the sweetest mama, your happy baby boy clear evidence of that.

What he would've have given to have a family like that with you.

***

“Mama?” You son yawned, looking at you with hopeful eyes while you closed his story book, putting it away on the shelf before tucking him into bed. “It’s Saturday tomorrow so...can we see daddy? I didn’t get to see him last weekend”

Your little one looked forward to weekends and spending the day with his dad, having missed the last visit because you had to work over time and dropped him off with a sitter instead.

“Of course baby, we’ll see him tomorrow” You smiled, kissing his forehead and pulling the sheets up to cover him. “First thing in the morning, okay? we’ll even take some snacks, remember I made his favorite?”

“Okay” Your son gave you a sleep nod before dozing off, clutching onto his teddy bear, his alarm set for 8:00 AM sharp. As soon as it went off, he was up and changed, practically pushing you out the door while you grabbed the keys and tote bag.

***

“You look like shit punk” Steve frowned at the growing bags under Bucky’s eyes, his facial scruff growing thicker each day. There was something Bucky had left out from his story, Steve just knew it, why was his friend randomly hung up over a girl years after seeing her? Sam nodded, him and the Captain ready to stage an intervention if Bucky decided to lock himself away in his room for another week.

“It’s nothing” Bucky tried to shrug it off but Steve wasn’t having any of it, setting down his coffee mug with determination written all over his face.

“C’mon. You need to get out of the compound. For fucks sake, at least get out of your room” Both men shoved him out the door, ignoring his grumpy rambling and into a car hoping a day at the museum would slightly perk up the super soldier who was also quite the science and history nerd.

***

You walked hand in hand with your little one smiling at the extra skip in his step, a contagious smile on his face. He didn’t want to waste another second, feeling giddy the closer he got. It was better than he imagined. As soon as they reached the area, he clung onto your leg, snuggling against you when you carried him.

“See daddy?” You whispered, going through the updated and expanded exhibit at the museum, doing your best to hold it together while you showed your son the new Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes display that was beside Captain America. The previous displays only contained information about the winter soldier with limited details about who he was before his capture. After Bucky had been pardoned of the things he was forced to do because of Hydra, the new exhibit rewrote his story to reflect his bravery and acts of heroism.

Your son looked in awe at the new figures of his dad, seeing him in different uniforms from one in a classic army green and another in a navy blue. You read all the information cards out to him, something he had memorized at this point from your frequent visits but it didn’t matter. He loved hearing the same stories over and over again. How his daddy loved his best friend and stuck by his side no matter what. How he saved so many people. How he tried to fight back the bad people that wanted to hurt him.

“Does daddy love me?” Your son asked in a small voice, still trying to understand why his favorite hero never came to see him and why he only saw him on tv or when they came to the museum. Didn’t his dad ever want to come see him?

“Of course baby, of course he does” you reassured your son, setting him down so he could get a closer look at the pictures of the Howling Commandos. “I know he’d love you so much” You whispered the last bit to yourself, blinking back tears, wishing you could so badly things had been different.

But they weren’t.

***

For a moment, Bucky had almost forgotten all about his heartbreak, deeply immersed in each section of the museum like a child in a candy shop. It was impossible to pull him away from anything each time he paused to read, eyes wide with wonder.

“Y’know they updated the section with you and Cap” Sam nudged Bucky's shoulder trying to get his attention, the brunette fully focused on reading about ancient civilizations instead.

“In a sec-”

“Don’t in a sec me, c’mon lets go look, I wanna see the so called handsome soldier Steve is always on about” Sam grabbed Bucky’s arm while Steve followed the two, all three men heading towards the section about American History and the World War.

***

“Is daddy safe now?” Your son asked, remembering you had told him it was hard for his dad to come see him because some bad people were trying to hurt him but luckily his best friend Uncle Stevie was right by his side. “Are bad people still trying to hurt him?”

“He’s safe now sweetheart, no one is trying to hurt him anymore. He’s out there stopping the bad guys now! See? You’re daddy is still a hero bub” You pointed to the part of the display that showed Bucky with his new arm from Wakanda, the section explaining his current endeavors working with the avengers.

“Doesn’t he want to see me?” He tried not to pout, not wanting to upset you with the question, though wishing he could see his dad just once. Your heart broke at the brave face he tried to keep up, shuffling on his feet, looking down at his shoes instead.

“He would baby, it’s just a little hard when he has to help the Avengers save the world. Remember there's chocolate chip cookies to look forward to? How about we eat it at the park once were all done?” You hoped the sugary snack would make your son feel a tad bit better, letting him wander around the area while you looked at the recent pictures of Bucky.

He was different from when you’d last seen him. Shorter hair. A darker metal for his arm. He still had to same beautiful blue eyes. The sweetest smile on those pink lips. From what you’d learned, he was doing much better, having joined the avengers and gaining more stability in his life. You sighed, letting your fingers trace over his face, missing the way his scruffy cheeks felt, the softness of his voice. You would’ve given anything to see him just one more time.

***

“Hey Buck, look, they got a new picture of Dum Dum” Steve grinned, seeing the enhanced photos with color added, with a young bright eyed sergeant standing in the middle, brave on the outside but a scared young boy on the inside. Bucky smiled softly at the Captain America figure, along with the large displays, proud of his best friend, going from the scrawny kid who was constantly sick to a symbol of bravery and courage. Bucky took his time reading every single word until another soft voice caught his attention. He’d know that voice anywhere.

It couldn’t be.

It was.

“They even got a picture of us together after our first recuse!” Steve felt his heart swell at the memories, pawing at the other super soldier who hadn’t said a word in response. “Buck? You okay?”

Bucky stayed frozen on the spot, his heart nearly stopping all together. He peered over to the side. There you were. In a sweet summer dress. Your little one looked at the life-sized statue of Bucky with wide eyes, gently touching the metal arm replica, studying each detail. Bucky’s feet carried him on their own, slowly approaching her one step at a time, the rest of the world blocked out, nothing but a faint buzzing. Steve was about to ask where he was going until he noticed the love struck look on his bestfriends face approaching a beautiful woman he’d never seen before. He and Sam looked at each other, observing silently and putting two and two together. They quietly slipped away to give you both privacy (though not soo far where they wouldn't be able to see anything).

You sensed someone was nearby, apologizing for standing in the way if they were trying to get by, moving two steps over. But they stepped closer. You looked up from the display you were reading, and gasping at the man that stood before you. There he was, after so long, the only person that had been on your mind day and night, the one person you always hoped to have another chance with.

“J-James?”

“Doll” Bucky’s voice cracked, looking down at you with the soft gaze you had fallen for, his fingers twitching to grab your waist and hug you till you wriggled out of his arms. He wanted to kiss you breathless, fall on his knees and ask you to forgive him for having to run, a selfish part of him hoping he’d still have another chance even though he knew it was impossible. He fought back tears when you closed the cap between you both standing toe to toe, your hand coming up to gently cup his cheek. He couldn't help but place his hand on top of yours, pressing it against his face and leaning into your touch, greedy for anything you’d give him, he needed you so badly.

“How have you been James” You whispered, letting your thumb caress his stubble, feeling too many emotions all at once, itching to bury your face into his chest. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to answer, too lost in your eyes and feeling your touch after so long. He pressed his lips softly against the inside of your palm, again selfishly grasping at straws. He’d take whatever he could before having to let you go. The soft scent of your perfume lingered on your wrist, the very same he still remembered.

When he had kissed your jaw.

When he kissed your bare shoulders.

When he buried his face against your neck while coming apart for you, your warm, soft, naked body under his.

“I’m okay” He nodded as best as he could while you hummed, now tracing over his lips. Those perfect lips you didn’t get to kiss enough. “How have you been, sweets” He didn’t know if he had any right to call you that anymore but it flowed so naturally.

“I’ve missed you” A tear you hadn’t noticed rolled down your cheek, his cool metal thumb swiping it away. His heart broke seeing your lip trembling, desperately trying to hold it together.

“I missed you so much doll, you have no idea I-” Bucky caught himself before rambling about how he was still in love with you when he heard the soft giggle of your son. You weren’t his. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I’m so sorry-” He shook his head to collect himself while you got lost in his eyes that were filled with emotion.

Did he still love you? Would he want you if he knew about-

“I’m happy to see you’re doing well” Bucky smiled, nodding to your little on who was so busy looking at the models of Captain America’s Shield's to notice his mommy was talking to someone very important. “You deserve it all sweets, he’s so lucky. Both of them are”

Who was both.? You frowned at Bucky’s words wondering who he was referring to while his fingers twitched, tracing over your face one last time. You wracked your brain until realization hit you like a ton of bricks; he thought you were with someone else. You swallowed away the lump that formed in your throat, struggling to speak while Bucky’s hand dropped from your cheek. He started to walk away, not wanting to break down in the middle of the museum.

“Jamie, wait!” Bucky turned around with glassy eyes, doing his best to muster a smile while you managed to grab his wrist to stop him, the feeling of your hands on him already too much. “I-uh-

“Mama! Daddy?” Your little one gasped as he approached you and took in the man that was speaking to his mom. His voice had dropped to a whisper, staying pressed by your side, gently tugging on the skirt of your dress “Mama, is-is that daddy?”

“That’s daddy baby” You nodded through teary eyes while Bucky’s heart started to hammer, not understanding, watching you pick the little one up. He looked at Bucky with wide eyes, the same steel blues as his father with a mop of soft, dark brown hair on his head.

“W-what?” Bucky stuttered while you took a step closer to him.

“This-this is your son, Daniel James Barnes” You whispered, eyes locked with his while he stayed frozen on the spot. Daniel looked about 4, the dates all adding up to when he had last seen you. Your son grew bashfully shy, tucking his face away, taking occasional peeks over at the one person he was dying to meet.

“He’s mine?” Bucky felt like he’d lost his voice, unable to speak above a whisper while you nodded, “I have a son?” He felt like a child himself, joy and love blooming through his chest, tears flowing freely down his cheeks, overcoming with emotion.

“He’s yours Jamie, Daniel, sweetheart, say hi to daddy” Daniel’s shyness melted the second Bucky nervously extended his hands out, immediately jumping into his daddy’s arms and crawling up him till he was wrapped around him like a little koala.

“Daddy” He smiled, eyes twinkling with mischief and love, just like a young baby Bucky.

“Hey baby” Bucky smiled against his hair, holding him for a moment before loosening his hold if he wanted to be set down, not wanting to overwhelm him considering it was the first time they’d actually met. Daniel seemed unbothered, continuing to cling onto his father, more than happy to finally see him in real life.

You smiled at the scene before you, one you’d only ever seen in your dreams. Bucky reached out, wrapping his arms tightly around you as best as he could, the broken fragments of his heart quickly piecing back together as you held onto him just as tightly, your head on his chest.

“I’m sorry love, I’m so sorry you had to go through it all alone” Bucky whispered into your hair, pressing firm kisses along your hairline, his hands ghosting over your tummy, wishing he was there for feel the little kicks and flutters from when you were pregnant. “I wish I was there, I’m sorry I had to run baby, I didn’t want to leave”

“It’s okay” You shook your head, not caring the slightest because you finally had him back. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t want to show up with a baby and make it harder for you when you were just getting your life together. We missed you Jamie”

“Never leaving you again, m’here now doll” Bucky pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before also kissing his son’s head, still reeling over the fact that the little one he was carrying was his. Nothing else mattered anymore, not when he not only had you back but also the baby you’d made together. The three of you stayed in your own little bubble of soft whispers and giggled until a crashing interrupted your conversation.

Bucky whipped around, snorting when he saw Sam on the floor along with a sheepish looking Steve on top of him, both men doing a poor job of masking the fact that they’d fallen over from their hiding spot. Bucky shook his head, taking your hand in his and walking over to them while they got up and straightened themselves up, grinning at the blushing super soldier.

“That’s yo kid” Sam pointed to the little one in Bucky’s arms with wide eyes, not doubting it for a second, not needing a DNA test to confirm it. “Tell me I’m right. That is your son”

“This is Daniel James Barnes” Bucky grinned, gently ruffling his sons hair while Daniel pulled away from his dad’s neck, gasping at the other two faces he recognized from the frequent museum visits with you.

“Uncle Steve! Uncle Sam!”

“Hey little man” Steve smiled, grunting when he was met with 35 lbs of force running into him, much stronger than most kids his age. Must be from his father.

“You helped daddy” Daniel now held onto the blonde super soldier, the both of them looking at an old imagine of Bucky and Steve with their arms around each others shoulders, smiling through dirt smeared faces, their army uniform word and tearing from battle.

“He saved me first” Steve stated proudly, his eyes growing steamy when he looked over to see Bucky looking at you with heart eyes, trying to discreetly kiss every bit of your face with feathery light touched of his lips to your cheeks.

“C’mon, let me show you what me and your dad really got up to” Sam took Daniel from Steve, throwing him onto his shoulders to show him the newest things the avengers were doing.

Bucky smiled watching his two best friends play with his little one, this time wrapping both his arms around you and hugging you as tight as he possibly could. You sighed contently, only relaxing for a moment before you froze again and pulled back, gently cupping his face.

“I know its a lot, this, me, all of it after so long” You nervously chewed your lip, worried you were throwing too much onto Bucky all at once, “If you don’t want all of this- I-we can figure something out or- we don’t have to-

Bucky shut you up with a deep kiss, refusing to pull away until you both gasped for air.

“Stop. I waited my whole life to meet someone like you. Then I lost you. Just when I thought I’d never get you back again, you give me a family, doll please don’t” Bucky pleaded, not interested in hearing anything else you had to say, “I want this, I want it all baby, want it all with you. Want you, my baby, I want it, I promise”

“Are you sure?”

A second long kiss that stole your breath confirmed he was indeed very very sure, with many more kisses to prove it. He finally found his happy ending.

Bonus:

Steve and Sam’s POV

“You see that little one running around over there” Sam pointed to your son who was in his own world while you and Bucky spoke off to the side.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t think...it has to be, right?”

“What are you saying Sam” Steve cocked and eyebrow but he was thinking the same thing Sam was, just not voicing it out loud, not wanting to get anyone's hopes up. It had to be. Hopefully.

“That’s his kid right. There's no way. Look at him, that's a carbon copy of terminator. That's a tiny terminator”

“Well the time line adds up” Steve nodded while Sam grinned, noting the way your son’s nose scrunched up when he smile, just like Bucky’s

“I call God Father” Sam stated while the blonde rolled his eyes as if he had any competition in the first place.

“Get up a little closer, I can’t hear what their saying” Steve hissed from over Sam’s shoulder only to be elbowed back in the stomach.

“Aren’t you the one with super hearing, shouldn’t you be able to hear them” Sam shook his head, nearly stumbling forward at the weight of Steve leaning over him to get a better look, “If you don’t stop crawling up my back, I’m gonna fall over”

“Just scoot up a little-

“I can’t- oh fuck-

“Shit-

Sam lost his footing, crashing onto the floor from behind the display they were hiding behind, along with Captain America lying on top of him, still more interested in you and Bucky over him crushing Sam under him.

“You’re an idiot” Sam huffed, knowing they’d gotten caught when Bucky turned around and looked at them.

“Shut up”

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marvel-ouss · 6 months ago

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You're Not Sorry

Dad!Charles Leclerc x Mom!Reader

pov: Charles goes to support his cousin in Naples and sees someone he hasn't seen in a long time along with a younger version of himself.

warning: miscommunication, pregnancy, the italics are Charles pov, some swear words, mentions of cheating, mentions of eating

type: angst with happy ending

note: this picture did something to me, I swear I saw Charles talking to his younger self! I almost cried...

It's Jules' 6th birthday today and I promised him that we'd go to the Karting race that is gonna happen in the Naples circuit.

We arrived around 11am so he could greet everyone.

"Hello birthday boy, how are you doing?" Martin asked Jules, he was the first person I met when I first came to Naples. When Martin noticed I was pregnant and I told him it was a boy he said that the first thing he'd do when the child was big enough was take him karting on the circuit he worked. 5 years later Martin kept his promise and now Jules karts regularly.

"I'm good, uncle Matt. I'm really exited to watch the race." Jules said jumping from excitement.

"One day we'll take you to a f1 race, now go join your friends, I need to talk with your mommy" Jules gets out happy with the silent promise. "Have you seen him?"

"Good morning to you too Martin, I'm great and you?"

"Sorry, I'm good. Now answer me" I could tell he was nervous I just didn't know the reason.

"Seen who? Martin are you sure you are okay?"

"Charles." I haven't heard that name in so long. "Giuseppe told us earlier that a f1 drivers was gonna be here I didn't really care but then I remembered Jules so I asked if anyone knew who it was and they told me we had a section booked for the Leclerc family"

"So you are telling me that you were told Charles was gonna be here and told my child to go outside where he his most likely to be seen?" I asked already leaving the stall we were at.

Arriving outside I couldn't find Jules. Martin and I looked at each other and we started looking for Jules.

"Jules where are you?" I screamed hoping for him to hear me “Jules!” I kept screaming, I was scared, what if someone took him? Jules’ the only thing I have left.

"That's her, that's my mommy!" I hear Jules' voice and see him along with the only person I hopped not to see today.

I was in Naples to support my cousin during the karting Championship. When I arrived I greeted as many people as I could and took as much pictures and gave as many autographs as possible. I was walking around when I saw a little boy that reminded me of myself during my early karting days. I looked around to see if there was any adult, maybe a mother or a father, looking for the child, but didn’t see any.

“Hello young man, what are you doing here alone?” I ask the little boy. As I approached I could tell he was crying.

“Can you help me find my mother? I don’t want to be alone forever. My mum can’t be alone, she’ll miss me.” He said with a broken voice.

“Of course, come on let’s look around to see if we can find her. My name is Charles, do you want to tell me your name?” I held his hand and walked around.

“My name is Jules Leclerc but my mommy calls me gioia mia” I couldn’t say a word. Leclerc? How is it possible? A Leclerc that we don’t know about? Maybe it’s just a coincidence, there must be other Leclerc’s out there.

“Jules, where are you? Jules!” I heard a woman’s voice screaming, we went in the direction of the voice.

A woman came into view, I knew her from somewhere. When she turned around I could tell it was y/n. We started dating 8 years ago. But eventually broke up 3 years after. I had just started my F1 career and I'll admit that I started ignoring her and focusing more in my future. So I wasn't surprised when one day I woke up and she wasn't there.

I tried contacting her but it was already too late, I had fucked it up really bad.

“That’s her, that’s my mommy!” Jules said letting go of my hand and running in her direction.

I saw Jules running in my direction and opened my arms. “Gioia mia, don’t ever do that to mommy again, I thought I lost you forever baby”

“I’m sorry mommy, I was with the older boys but they had to go, I looked for you in the stall but you weren’t there anymore.”

“I’m so sorry baby, I was already looking for you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay mommy. Look I made a new friend. His name is Charles.” Jules turned do Charles who was a bit far from us “And Charles, meet my mommy.”

I couldn’t face Charles. I knew we had to talk but I wasn’t ready for it all. At this point Jules must have introduced himself and I know my child well enough so I bet he said his name was Jules Leclerc, he’s always super proud to say his first and last name. I think Jules is too young to connect the dots, he knows my last name is not Leclerc.

I remember the fist time we watched f1 together he noticed and told me that there was Ferrari driver had the same last name as him. Little does he know.

He probably didn’t realise that he was in the presence of THE Charles Leclerc who also happened to be his father.

“Hi Charles, thanks for helping him find me.” A said dryly without making eye contact.

“Hello y/n, haven’t seen you in a long time. How have you been?” Really? How have I been? He's joking right? First ignores my existence, now is talking to me like nothing has ever happened?

“I’m going. How is f1 being to you?” No, you don't care y/n! What are you doing?

Charles widened his eyes. “It’s going, Ferrari’s not at it’s best but we’ll get there”

“Mommy? He’s Charles Leclerc?” Jules asked confused.

“Yes gioia mia, he’s the f1 driver you talked about the other day”

“Cha, we share the same last name!” He said very enthusiastic.

“Oui mon petit, it seems so” I lift my head to look at Charles but he’s already looking me dead in the soul. I’m fucked.

“Let’s go Jules, let’s look for your uncle Martin he’s very worried as well. Say bye to Charles.”

“Bye Cha.” Jules goes in his direction to give him a hug. Charles gets down so he can hug Jules properly and whispers something in his ear.

“Goodbye Charles.” I say already turning around.

“At least this time she said a proper goodbye." Hypocrite! I can't believe my ears, that bastard... Never mind y/n, he's not worth a scene in front of Jules.

The day went by really fast and I didn’t see any of the Leclerc’s throughout the day. Jules had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the day with the other boys. Some of them even took him for a lap around the circuit.

It was 7:30pm when we decided it was time to go.

“Mom do you think I’ll meet other f1 drivers when we go watch one of the races?”

“I don’t know baby, probably. I know some of them, if we find them I’ll introduce them to you, deal?”

“Deal” he said closing the subject and starting to ramble about his day.

I was putting Jules in his car chair when I heard someone calling my name do I closed the door and turned around.

“Y/n, I was looking for you.” Charles was in front of me breathless so I assume he ran on his way here. “We need to talk. I didn’t wanna do it earlier because Jules was there and I didn’t wanna make a scene. But you can’t deny that he’s my child, he looks just like me.” He said all in one breath.

“I won’t deny it, I knew it when I left. Well, that was one of the reasons I left. I wasn't gonna bring I child into your life for you to ignore the both of us, so I figured that leaving was more fitting.” Charles started laughing.

“ Are you kidding me y/n? I would have died for the two of you if you had tol-“ “Really Charles? Are you kidding me? You treated me like shit the last months we were together! You wouldn't even acknowledge my existence!

“Y/n, you could have told me, we would find a way! Instead you left me in the middle of the night!”

“Don't say you were alone when you had another girl!” “I had what? Well that’s news! I didn’t know that.” Charles interrupted me shocked.

“You weren’t?” “No I wasn’t!”

“Charles you were never home, I didn’t know were you were, I needed you when I discovered!”

“I was focused in my job! I didn't even had time for you how was I supposed to be with another woman?”

“You put your job in front of everything else. I waited for you every single night! The night I discovered I was pregnant I had everything planned to tell you, but when you arrived home you just brushed me off! I needed you for fuck sake” I started crying and he hugged me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby" He kept repeating those words like a mantra.

I heard the car door and soon after felt Jules’ arms wrapped around my leg. “Mommy are you okay?”

“Yes baby, everything’s alright. Sorry for keeping you waiting.” I held Jules and put him back in the car and turned to Charles. “Give me your phone please” he said, so I gave him my phone. He dialed his current phone number and gave me back my phone. “Send me a massage se we can talk better and figure things out okay?”

“Yeah, ciao Cha.” I said going to the drivers seat and making my way home.

I put Jules to bed then headed to the kitchen to get my phone and called Charles.

“Hello?” I said when noticed he had answered the phone.

“Y/n? Are you okay?" No, I'm not. For 5 years I thought he stopped caring because he was with someone else. At this point I have no idea what's worse. being cheated on or being left behind because of work

“Hi Cha. I don’t know. At the moment I have a lot on my mind and I don’t know how to process everything.” I said still a little overwhelmed.

“How's Jules?”

“Just put him to bed, he was worried, he never saw me crying.”

“I wanted him to meet my family. You should be there too, my mom and brothers miss you.”

“How? I left you and they miss me?” I said on the verge of tears.

“They know it was my fault. I said you left because I got too occupied with work to pay attention to you and you were done with it. My mom almost killed me that day.”

“Poor Pascale you always gave them the worse time.” Now I was crying.

“I've said it a hundred times and I'll say one thousand more times, I'm so sorry mon amour. I didn't know how to deal with everythin. I'm so so sorry”

“Do you think Pascale still likes me?”

“Of course she does she never stopped loving you, but she likes you ever more now that you gave her her so desired first grandchild” The line went silent after what he said. He accepted Jules so easily. "Why Jules? And why did you keep the Leclerc?"

"His name is Jules Pierre Hervé Leclerc. I gave him the names of important people to you. I didn't know if you were gonna meet him someday so I wanted do keep a part of you in him. It was a shock when I figured out but it was a result of our love. You are the love of my life. Even after all this years I still feel that love for you. I couldn't think of another name that would suit him as good as that one."

After that Charles hung up the phone. I knew he had a lot on his mind so I didn't insist on calling him. We both fucked up in this situation, I shouldn't have left, and he should have known that his profissional self stays in the headquarter.

When he's ready to talk he'll call me. The next morning I woke up and made breakfast for me and Jules. I was on my way to wake up Jules when my phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Y/n, what's your address?"

"Hi Charles, good morning for you too" what's with the going straight to the point and not even asking how the person's doing? First Martin, now Charles, who's next? Jules?

"Sorry, got too exited. I bought gifts for Jules. Where can I meet you?"

"You can come to my house I'll send you the address. Did you have breakfast?"

"No, not yet"

"Good you'll have it with us and we'll tell Jules" I said hanging up the phone and continuing with Jules' routine.

A few minutes later Charles was knocking on my door. Jules was in the living room playing with his toy cars.

"Good morning mon amour." Charles said kissing my cheek and giving me a hug.

"Good morning Cha, you can come in" I said giving him space to come inside.

"Bonjour mon petit. What're you doing?" Charles asked Jules while sitting on the couch.

"Chaaa" Jules screamed getting up and hugging Charles.

"I'm gonna set the table. I'll call you when everything's ready" I said going to the kitchen.

They stayed in the living room until I called for the two of them.

We starting eating our breakfast.

"Jules we have something to tell you." I said when I finished my breakfast

Jules moved all his attention to me.

"You know, when I was younger I met your dad. And I think it's time for you to meet him as well."

Jules look at me and Charles, back and forth.

"Mommy, is Cha my dad? Is that what you were trying to tell me?" Jules said with his eyebrows frowned, due do confusion.

Me and Charles stayed silent for a little bit and I just nodded for Jules to know that was exactly what I was trying to tell him. Both of us fearing his reaction. We where still in silence when Jules got up from his chair and made is way towards Charles.

"I forgive you for not being here. I love you daddy. Now we can be a family." He said hugging Charles.

Jules was such an intelligent child. I didn't want to tell him the whole thing so we just said that Cha was busy but what mattered was his presence now.

We started doing, as Jules called them, "Fam Time" once a week. Charles would sleep the night to spend more time with Jules, we would go to races. Jules met all the drivers as he wished. We were happy once again.

I'M BACK GUYS! Probably not for long hihi

I hope you like this new story. Feedback is always welcome.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #f1 imagine #pov #f1 #charles leclerc #f1 x reader #charles leclerc one shot

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qodlysinz · 2 months ago

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Behind That Mask

—The Day of the Jackal—

Pairing: Alexander “Jackal” Duggan x Reader

Summary: The Jackal can’t do much without the help of his trusty hacker—who incidentally flirts with him any chance she got. Jackal is displeased.

Tags: second person pov, female pronouns used, depictions of blood, mentions of guns and violence, fighting, swearing, light angst (like very light, blink and you’d miss it), heavy flirting, reader is a hacker and former MI6 agent, italics is dialogue through the comms, reader’s nationality isn’t mentioned so imagine whatever you want

A/N: The Jackal has like no fanfics and this idea came to me in a dream while I was watching the show. It’s very Penelope Garcia and the BAU but a bit more toned down because not everyone is like Miss PG 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ this idea was gonna be an oc initially but I decided the feed the people instead of let it collect dust in my archives like my ocs usually do

You click your pen meticulously as you examine the schematics of the building Jackal was currently in. You toggled one of the buttons, triggering the body heat sensor. A soft chuckle emitted from you as you saw Jackal’s figure carefully stalking through the building.

“People on your six,” you told him, setting the pen aside, “there’s a closet to your left, go in there till they pass.”

“Too many?” He guessed, his voice coming through the comms. You nodded, though he couldn’t see it, “bingo. About five people. Looks like three of them are carrying guns, and you don’t want to get into a gunfight.”

Jackal’s figure slipped into the closet, his breathing heavy as he waited for your command.

“So.” You started, resting your face in your hands as you stared blissfully at the screen. You heard Jackal sigh. “What do you wanna talk about?”

Jackal was quiet for a moment, but you saw his hand come to rub his temples through the screen. You rolled your eyes. “I have a job to do. No time for your incessant need to try and woo me.” He remarked.

“It’s not incessant,” you argued, “it’s called testing how well you handle distractions, J.” You tapped the side of your head with your finger, brows raised suggestively.

“Obviously I handle them well, otherwise I’d drop you.” He muttered under his breath. “Is it clear?”

You waited for a moment, humming, “not yet, they’re chatting, hold on for a bit.” You replied affirmatively. “Are you saying I’m too good to kill? Wow, what a compliment from your stoic self.”

“Didn’t say kill.” Jackal refuted. You nodded, letting out a soft laugh. Your eyes followed the men as they began to walk off. “You’re good to go.”

Jackal crept out of the closet and walked on through the building. “Where’s the target?” He asked.

You searched through the building, humming a quiet tune as you did so, “floor above you, room in the far-right corner.” You nodded.

You weren’t exactly sure what brought you to this. Helping the famed Jackal get his hits through. You hadn’t even seen his face—at least not without the ridiculous disguises. Not even in the three years you’ve been accomplices. He didn’t trust you yet, but that wasn’t much of a problem to you. If you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t even trust your own family.

Jackal always carried a phone with him; not one he needed to dispose of regularly like he used to. You had been kind enough to rig the phone he had to not be able to be used to track him or the people he was calling. Meaning, whenever you got a call from your lovely, emotionally constipated hitman, it wouldn’t even trace to you. Truly amazing handiwork, if you said so yourself.

A loud gunshot was heard through the comms. “Target down.” He spoke gruffly. His tone was always a bit more choked whenever he dropped a target, but he wasn’t the type to get all mushy and come to you of all people about it.

“Quick exit down the fire escape. Pull the fire alarm as you go, the craze will let you get away without any attention drawn.” You said, shifting to your next computer screen as you heard a ping. “The money is being wired to your account as we speak, Mary Poppins.”

Jackal grumbled at that, the fire alarm blaring as you heard the echo of his steps. “I’ll get back to you when I’m in the clear.” He stated. “Remember our protocol.”

“Roger.” You cut contact and stared at the picture. It was a composite drawing of the Jackal, or, at least what they thought he looked like. It could not have been more far off, and it made you chuckle. You pressed a button, clicking your keys as you sent it to his phone with an amused (and sarcastic) ‘wow I finally saw your face!!’

There had been numerous Jackal facial compositions over the years, and somehow they were all utterly terrible and looked nothing like Jackal, even if you hadn’t seen his true face, you knew he looked nothing like that. It was laughable, really.

Though, each time they popped up, you worked your magic and had them destroyed or lost to the web as a meme some Redditor (aka you on an alternative account) came up with for a random thing made with AI. No one took AI seriously. You didn’t want to risk him getting caught. Even if the sketches were shit.

The first time you ever got involved with Jackal was when he had apparently heard of your ‘impressive work’, as he’d say in that smooth voice of his. You were just some nobody working at a tech company, and you were only twenty-nine at the time in a small apartment in New York. The fact Jackal had gone international just to meet you was a bit flattering, but he was very intimidating and sort of reminded you of Batman if he was skinny and lean. Maybe more like Robin, actually. He was wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a surgical mask to hide his face, which had felt like overkill to you, if you were being honest. It was summer, for christ’s sake.

Nonetheless, Jackal was… somewhat kind. He wouldn’t threaten you. He did at some point, and you had burst into tears—he gave up and hasn’t done it since. You’d think you’d be used to that type of shit in New York.

Since then, you and Jackal have been long distance friends… kind of? You lived in Paris now, since it’d be easier for Jackal to get to you without flying a whole ten hours (which was freakishly far, you wondered where he was in his downtime). Leaving New York was for your own benefit too, of course. You had no family there, and your friends were under the impression you got an amazing job opportunity. Unbeknownst to them, that job opportunity was helping an underground sniping legend. Who you happened to have fallen for a few months into said job. His accent is really what did it, honestly.

After a few more weeks from the last job, Jackal had another one, and you were his confidant yet again. Probably your favorite part of it all, if you were honest. Getting to playfully flirt with him was the highlight of your day, even if it ticked him off a little bit.

This job was in Paris, so, to your delight, Jackal would be on site near you to prepare. You had insisted he stay with you, but, of course, he was as untrusting as a cat and outright refused.

And yet, in the late night, he used the very same overkill disguise when you two first met, and showed to your doorstep.

“Jack, what a surprise.” You said with a snort, opening your door wider for him to enter.

“Police were outside the hotels and Airbnb’s nearby.” He replied gruffly. You chuckled, “they’re on high alert because you’ve been taking more hits lately.” You shrug. “Don’t you think it’s annoying that they couldn’t give less of a fuck if it was a random person than if it was a big name? It’s so pathetic.” You mutter, mostly to yourself as you head towards your kitchen. “Oh, no. A corrupt fascist got popped in the head.” You added sarcastically.

“PR.” Was all he said, dropping his bag on your table, hesitantly removing his cap, a subtle glance at you, skeptic. You cracked a glimpse in his direction. “Oh, you’re a redhead. No wonder you’re so freckly!” You laughed.

Jackal scoffed. “I’m not a redhead.” He denied. You rolled your eyes in amusement, “so you’re just an average white man?” You joked.

“What’re the schematics for the opera house?” He changed the subject and tussled his hair, likely having been in his cap for a while. You got the memo—you were playful but not an idiot, you knew when he wanted to talk business—and nodded and went to your computer setup, muttering to yourself as you pulled it up on your screen. “So, this opera singer really pissed your guy off, huh?” You asked Jackal, going to the main auditorium part of the building.

“I don’t really care.” Jackal leaned over the desk, his hand resting in the back of your chair. As you went through the schematics, he perked up, “hey.”

“Hey~!” You grinned cheekily. He shot you a look of impatience. “No, hey, as in look.” He pointed at the screen. “Will you indulge me just this once?” You asked quietly, but followed Jackal’s finger to the top of the auditorium where a large ring that was mostly inhabited by the richest of the rich was set. But just above that, was the perfect vantage point for Jackal to take the shot.

You hummed, “nice eye.” You praised, looking at him with a grin. “Sure you can take it?”

He huffed at that. “‘Course I can.” He retorted, “show me what it looks like on the inside.”

“So full of demands.” You tut, shaking your head, “one day, you know, I will worm my way into your circle.”

He chuckled dryly, “somehow, I highly doubt that.”

“Why’s that?” You rose a brow, spinning your chair to face him fully. He set his hand on the arm of your chair, looking closely at you. “Because I know you were an MI6 agent.”

You blinked, staring at him. “I wiped that from every document you could get your hands on…?”

“You’re not the only one good with computers.”

You scoffed as you shook your head. “You’re such a dick, you know that?” You zoomed into the building, a glower in the direction of Jackal.

“You should consider yourself lucky enough to even know me as you do.” Jackal stated and spun your chair back to face the screen, wordlessly telling you to get back to work. “Oh, believe me, I do. And you should consider yourself lucky to even have me on your side. You’ve never even been in the vicinity of another agent. And you’ve got me to thank.”

He paused for a moment before sighing. “Thank you.” He spoke with an oddity, one you didn’t really pick up on until you spoke.

“You’re welcome.” The smile you fostered dropped, stopping in your tracks as it hit you. He noticed and looked at you, his brows furrowed. A solemn look made its way onto your face as you turned to meet his gaze. “Why can’t I ever tell when you’re being sincere, Jackal?”

“Because I don’t want you to know.” He replied stiffly. You opened your mouth to speak, rubbing your nape as you turned back over to continue your work. “I won’t turn on you, you know. I’m better than that. You don’t need a stupid mask to shield yourself from me.”

“Anyone who knows me is in deliberate danger. Your… assets… are special. You getting hurt would be a waste. And we both know I don’t trust you.”

“But I trust you. I don’t know why, exactly, but I do.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why? Because you think you can dictate what I can and can’t feel? I don’t know your name, where you live, why you do what you do… but I trust you, because if you wanted to kill me, you would have done so already.” You didn’t turn to talk to him, you just did what you needed to.

Jackal let out a breath, one of disbelief, “like I said, killing you would be a waste. Your assets are useful.”

You clenched your hand around your mouth, jaw clenched. The same song and dance that happened annually at this point, but this time you didn’t reply. You breathed out through your nose. Screw it, this moron needed a reality check, you didn’t care if it rarely ever got through to him. You hoped it would eventually. “Existing is going to get pretty fucking tiring if you pretend to be different people every second of every day. You may be a damn good sniper, but even you have limits, Jackal. Don’t test them, don’t be an ass, and, for fuck’s sake, stop being an idiot!”

He blinked, staring at you. He hesitated, he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say. The words died on his tongue, all he did was just stare and give a slow nod. “Fine.” He muttered. “I’ll let my guard down… slightly.”

“Good.” You huffed.

“Good.” He agreed.

#the day of the jackal #jackal x reader #jackal #eddie redmayne #eddie redmayne jackal #eddie redmayne the day of the jackal #alexander duggan #alexander duggan x reader #x reader #this is silly #people need to write about bae more #idk if hes in character #I can never tell that mf is so fake #let’s pretend this is in character please #one shot?#maybe sequel?#I would love if people would request him I love him so much #eddie redmayne x reader

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sirxlla · 10 days ago

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It Comes Naturally

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Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Slight Angst

Prompt: "Dad things he does subconciously" with buck (request by anon)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

A lot of the fatherly things he did initally came out in ways of making sure that you had properly bandaged your finger or carrying you to the bedroom when you fell asleep on the couch. It was just casually caring for your partner as one should, like making sure you had enough dinner or that you got to work safely.

As time went on in the relationship progressed, you noticed how fatherly he seemed to Chris. How he would help him every single time he had the opportunity, maybe with homework, girl talk or other general things.

Buck is so kind and attentive, most of the time he can tell how someone's feeling just by looking at their face or reading the room. He is always so good at making sure to clock your emotions and how you're feeling.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked as he came into the room.

"I promise it's nothing." You had said not wanting to put your shitty day on to him.

"I know that's entirely bullshit." He smiles, gently grabbing your chin so he can gaze into your eyes.

"I'm just having a rough day, I'm remembering some shit from my childhood." Your eyes slightly teared up as you are trying your hardest not to cry. He pulled you into a hug and everything starts to feel right, his hugs were all encompassing. You know how they say that everything faded and it was just you and him? Like the movies. That's exactly how it felt with him his hugs were just the best thing you could think of whenever you're feeling like shit.

His dad behavior seem to spike when his sister had a baby. Every single time that Maddie needed a babysitter he was the first person to jump on it. He tended to carry Jee around everywhere, showing her how he does everything even if she can't understand.

"And this is the smoke alarm." He held her up so she could see the smoke alarm. There was no rhyme or reason to the things that he showed her just random things around the house like the top of the fridge, the pantry or the microwave. Of course considering the fact that she's a baby she has no idea what's going on but she enjoys it just the same.

You often caught him watching Bluey, Max & Ruby, Blue's Clues or whatever TV show he had put on for the little girl, he had gotten sidetracked and sat down and started watching it. Of course it started the same way it does for every other father where they glance at the TV and slowly get sucked into the plot of the episode. A couple of times you've caught him passed out on the couch with her because the both of them had fell asleep watching television.

In a way he is very much an uncle but in so many different ways he is like a father, he's patient, kind, and understanding. Evan is the perfect partner and the perfect person that you could see yourself building a life with.

When there's a problem he always talks it out with you and you both come to an understanding and say sorry because what he says is that "it takes two people to argue" and both of you are to blame; apparently this is something that Maddie taught him when she essentially raised him. It was a way of making sure everyone felt understood and cared for in any type of relationship, it took him some time but he did realize it slowly that it was indeed true in most situations.

Evan isn't just fatherly but motherly as well, he's perfect with kids, he's a fantastic partner and a wonderful human being.

It was really early in your relationship and neither of you had talked about it, having kids. So when you saw that little blue plus sign you're nervous, not because you don't want this but because you're worried it's too soon.

"Baby, I-" You take a breath as you come out of the bathroom in your pajamas. Buck is remaking the bed that both of you didnt have time to do this morning. He hears the worry in your voice and turns around.

"Hey..." He sits at the end of the bed and pulls you between his thighs, those ocean eyes staring into yours with love and care.

"I- um... I missed my period and I didn't think anything of it because I've been stressed. You know with everything that's been happening, the fires and all?" You tell him, your heart heavy in your chest. He just listens as he knows that you'll continue when you're ready, his hands slowly rubbing your hips in silent support of whatever you have to say.

"...We- We only had one test laying around." You handed him the test and watched his reaction on his face, it took a minute of his brain processing but a huge smile covered his face.

"Oh! Oh my God! Baby, you're pregnant! This is- this is good news, this is great news!" He pulled you into his lap and hugged the doubt and worry out of you.

"You're not mad? It's really early in this relationship and I really didn't want to push anything on to you." You started crying cause you were so sure he'd be upset cause generally a lot of guys would be, it was a relief.

"Mad? Baby, I've never been happier. You- You're amazing. We can do this. Right? You wanna keep it, dont you? If you don't its okay but I just-" Evan starts to get nervous as he speaks cause he realizes he doesn't want to force any decision on you or make you feel obligated to keep this baby if you don't want to.

"I- Yeah. I do." Tears pouring down your face and onto his neck.

"You're going to be the most gorgeous mother out there." Buck rubs your back as he tries to help with the tears that are dampening his shirt You had never had this type of support in your life and you knew at this exact point you wanted him in your life in any way possible.

If at some point down the road you guys didn't love each other the same way that you do now, you know that you would want him in your life as a friend at least just to have him in your life. You'd always have a connection to him and that was even before you got pregnant, but now there was a bundle of life growing within you that was part you and part him stringing the two of you together forever.

"I'm going to be here with you as long as I breathe, I promise." He whispers into your ear before pulling back so he can see your face. Buck covers your salty tear filled face in kisses.

He always knew exactly what to do to make you smile and this was no exception, the love he gave you and the compassion and care was to be unmatched by anyone no one could make you feel like this but him.

Masterlist

#evan buckley x reader #evan buckley #911 on fox #911 abc #911 show #oliver stark

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leopardom · 3 months ago

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so you happened to miss the live Q&A with Nace and Bojan on the Joker Out official discord server yesterday? worry not, i got you covered

Souvenir Pop Discord Listening Party - Q&A with Bojan and Nace ✨

questions are in bold and are all from discord

quotation marks are being used for all the the word-by-word answers by Bojan and Nace

dialogues between Bojan and Nace, reactions and some worth-mentioning moments are in italics

there were some questions about touring to specific places again or for the first time. answers to all of them were vaguelly positive, so i didn't include them here

the whole listening party lasted about an hour and a half so this is a long read

{steaming Muzika Za Decu and Šta Bih Ja and waiting for Bojan and Nace to join}

Q: How are you doing after the album release? [missed Bojan's answer] N: "Feeling as usual - super bad" *joking about it with Bojan*, had to get up early to take Pino to the vet

Q: Which artists were your musical influences for Lips? both: The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey and Nick Cave

Q: How did you do the screaming kids in Muzika Za Decu? N: initial recordings were done with kids of their friends. after bringing the tracks to their producer, he asked for more voices so they recorded more with some kids from a music school in Kranj (Nace's hometown). Nace was present in all those recordings

Q: Do you have any vacation plans? N: most of them are going to Thailand again B: Thailand is "too far away to call it a vacation" so he's probably going somewhere closer to Slovenia

Q: Why is Carpe Diem ever so slightly diffrent? B: they remastered the song because they realised the mastering they had done already was a bit bad - "that's why it sounded like it came out of a toaster compared to other eurovision songs"

Q: Any TV series recommendations? B: Atypical, Narcos, Peaky Blinders N: Game Of Thrones Nace asks Bojan if he's watching anything atm and he says only some history stuff. Nace and Kris are watching Naked and Afraid religiously, and according to Bojan, "in the van, outside the van, in hotel rooms, everywhere"

Q: How do you choose what the next song will be about? Are there any criteria? B: "The songs just happen as they do, a storyline usually comes with the vocal melody [...] The story is never a fake thing, it's always something real so there is really no choosing more in a sense of like "we have a couple of songs and we choose which one we're gonna have" but it's not connected to what the song is about. More like "what the song sounds like and what kind of a vibe we wanna put out""

Q: What is your go to effect for your instrument/for some songs? N: only uses drive and tape echo

Q: Which song did change the most during the recording process? B: Lips *Nace agrees* - it started as a whole different song called J’taime and was supposed to be an english/french or slovene/french duet and also very rock n roll

Q: Are there any more tour dates coming? B: yes but they have nothing planned yet so it will take some time

Q: If you had to live somewhere for 6 months where would it be? both: London B: "If I had to go live somewhere for longer, I would go to Palermo"

Q: Why are your songs so good!? How do you never make bad music? B: "We do, you just don't get to hear it"

Q: Who is writing the weekly updates? N: all of them *Bojan gets confused for a moment and doesn't realise they're talking about the openstage weekly updates*

Q: Thought process during the making of the album? B: "It’s a clusterfuck" *banter about how they love and hate what they do while making an album*

{break to listen to Carpe Diem and Stephanie. Pino starts barking at the first few moments of Carpe Diem and then Nace and Bojan realise they need to close their mic for that section lol}

Q: (question for Nace) What strings/bass equipment are you using and if you have any small tips for bass beginners? N: tip - "the equipment doesn't matter, what matters is what you do with the bass. start with lighter strings and try to learn as many songs as you can" // he's using D’Addario and La Bella flat strings

Q: Which song took the longest to finish? both: Šta Bih Ja (they crashed the studio pc because of the number of takes they had to do)

Q: What was your music inspiration for Mesto Duhov? both: there wasn't some specific inspiration music-wise

Q: Which song did y'all think think would be the fan favourite?? N: Bluza [missed Bojan's answer here because my laptop ran out of battery lol]

Q: Nace, what is your screentime on your phone because you‘re online like every time N: 9h 23min today “because it was release day”, usually is around 3-4 hours (Bojan's is 3h)

*Bojan proceeds to yap about how he's learning spanish on duolingo*

Q: Ever thought of selling posters ? It's a lil less expensive way to support you and also propaganda both: no because it's difficult to ship and they get ruined in the process. they may think about posters as merch for concerts only

Q: Who played the piano in Sonce? B: it's written and played by Jan N: "One of Slovenia's best piano players, renowned..."

Q: What happend with Schlager? B: "Nothing happened to it, it's doing quite well, we had a chat yesterday and everything is going fine in Schlagerland, but it couldn't make it to the album. Didn't feel like it. Maybe next time"

Q: When you first made music did you expect it to reach people so powerfully that it created year lasting friendships and have people travel so far to see you live? B: no because they were used to the way things work in Slovenia (smaller distances and sometimes people don't even travel from one city to another even if they're around 20 minutes away from each other) so this was very new to them but they're happy to see it

Q: How is the new album going to affect the setlist? Will you still perform older songs? B: the whole third album will be performed on the upcoming tour and there will be some variations on the setlists regarding the songs from the previous 2 albums

Q: Is there any possibility to hear you singing in italian on next albums? B: there was an idea for this album but didn't work out

Q: Do you have plans for a spanish song? B: "There was an idea called "si me das in beso más" but didn't go through [...] because it was getting into a reggaeton-ish direction"

Q: Will there be a french song in the future? B: J’taime was supposed to be one but didn't happen

Q: What about Souvenir Pop fridge magnets? B: they're considering it (Nace adds that he'd love to have one)

Q: Best slovenian cuisine and best places to visit in Slovenia N: food - prekmurska gibanica // places - Bovec and Bohinj B: food - kranjska klobasa and žlikrofi (to represent Jure) // places - Bohinj, Postojna cave, Logarska Dolina

Q: Nace, which cruise ships did you play on? We would love to have Joker Out cruise gig in Finland! N: the cruise ship he worked on was AIDAbella (belongs to german cruise line AIDA Cruises), he was there for 6 months and the cruise was in the Baltics B: would love to do the cruise from Finland to Estonia "where everybody supposedly gets extremely smashed"

Q: Was the writing process of Stephanie different, because you have Žare as composer but not Jure? B: the percussions were computer-based drum loops so maybe that's why

Q: Where do you get your inspiration from? Or do you just wake up with it one morning? B: "(inspiration) is memories becoming visible in your own head" - they all have memories and impressions in their lives that just get triggered when writing a song

Q: How did you get the idea of making Lips? It has such a different vibe of all the songs you have B: Žare showed them the heartbeat that can be heard in the song, Bojan came up with the "put your lips on mine" line and proceeded to finish the lyrics on their way back home from Bucharest after Summer Well fest. it was basically Nace who turned the idea of Lips into a song music-wise

Q: Why did you decide to release stephanie so close before the album release? Was it the plan all along? B: apparently he didn't know the song was getting released, he just saw it on their instagram stories and rolled with it lol

Q: Does lyrics just pop into your head and then you decide the story or do you decide on a common theme/story the song is gonna have and then make the lyrics about that? B: usually there's an insistent thought in his head and he works around it

Q: What do you think of Baldies Out? Which song do you want us to cover next? context: Baldies Out is a group on instagram which posts - you guessed it - bald edits of Joker Out. occasionally there are covers of Joker Out songs, adapted with lyrics that fit the bald theme of the account B: they could cover Lips and turn the lyrics into "put your hair on mine" or Ako Toga Više Neće Biti "so it's a man who's going bald singing to his hair - it's a song between a guy and his hair" Bojan is frustrated because he looks very bad bald meanwhile Nace finds himself cool in his bald edition, Bojan too believes bald Nace looks cool, Nace jokes about shaving off all his hair and Bojan says he'd like to see that and proceeds to complement his beard and tell him he'd look "badass as hell"

Q: What's something you want to experience in life but haven't yet? N: see mount Everest/visit Nepal B: have a farm *banter with Nace: he'd like to have goats, chickens, a horse, rabbits, dogs, cats and a bull*

Q: Why did you choose the openers for the tour that you chose (I love them) B: the answer was in the question; they love them too

Q: Also Romania misses you guys, please come back next year B: they all loved Romania and Summer Well, he then mentions how he's not a fan of festivals as an attendand and has been to one for a couple of days only once when he was 18

Q: Are the cities at the end of the Bluza MV a teasing of a European tour? B: no, they were just cities on the old radio they used for the mv

{break to listen to Ako Toga Više Neće Biti and Bluza}

Q: Ruisrock next year?! B: they loved Ruisrock this year and would love to be back

Q: What are your favourite books, if you have any? B: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini N: he's currently reading The Creative Act by Rick Rubin

Q: What's your favourite Big Foot Mama songs? both: Buldožer, Led s severa, Neki sladkega

Q: Have you heard of the genre "midwest emo"? both: no (and they had to google it)

Q: What was the most cathartic song to write and why? B: Everybody's Waiting, Lips and Ako Toga Više Neće Biti

Q: What’s your fav Schlager (as in the German music)? N: mentions Semino Rossi and Ibo and the songs Ibiza (by Ibo) and Rot sind die Rosen (by Semino Rossi)

Q: Are there more songs like Muzika Za Decu & Mesto Duhov (more loud and rock) songs in the vault??? B: no, just these two

Q: Souvenir pop Vinyl/CD when? N: CDs will be available at the gigs but they're not sure when they'll be available online. vinyls will come around January/February

Q: What is your favourite memory from making the album? N: the recording of Ako Toga Više Neće Biti *Bojan agrees*

Q: Fav Finnish artists/bands you know? (Käärijä doesn't count) B: Sonny, Ville Valo *Nace agrees*, Sunrise Avenue and he loves the Blind Channel cover of Left Outside Alone (Nace says this is Bojan's guilty pleasure song) N: Pikku G

Q: When new merch? B: it's coming with the tour

Q: Would you like to receive Get Watermarked stickers next tour? context: it's a photo of Mark in a pool(or a hot tub i'm not sure) and someone edited the phrase "Get Watermarked" on it and turned it into a sticker for the sys tour both: they'd absolutely want one

Q: Do you often get stopped by fans on the street or any public places? Is there anything that irritates you? B: gets followed around often but people are not very invasive N: doesn't get stalked as much as Bojan and doesn't mind when fans stop him on the street

Q: Are you familiar with Käärijä's EuroPass on Kollekt and would you consider doing something similar in the future? B: they don't know what that is and "if it's good then we should consider it but if it's not good then we're not considering it"

Q: Tying onto the q before, restaurant reccomendations and favourite sight? Bojan's fave restaurant is Aftr and Nace's is Sushimama, they both agree that their fave sight is the Ljubljana castle

Q: I noticed you guys follow some of my fav musicians on instagram so i was wondering Nace what’s your favorite Declan McKenna song and Bojan what’s your favorite Greta van Fleet song N: Nothing Works B: doesn't have a fave GVF song, just likes the band

Q: What are the possibilities for JO (whether concert and/or meet and greet) in the US and/or the UK? both: they were supposed to play in NYC in May but it was a very last-minute thing and didn't manage to get working visas in time. they'll have a gig or more in the UK next year

Q: When you were at the Sziget festival, have you tasted hungarian foods? if yes, what was it? / when will be new products in the shop? B: has been in Hungary twice (once this year for Sziget and once as a child) but hasn't tried anything hungarian - ✨I love food no matter where it comes from. Hopefully the kitchen✨ N: new products will be online hopefully by the end of 2024 but they're not sure yet

Q: Is the concert in Novi Sad definitely happening? Due to the tragedy a lot of events have been canceled out of respect for the victims so there's been some rumors about it possibly getting canceled B: the concert will go on and the profits will go to the families of those who have lost someone and those in need

Q: Are you gonna come back to places you've already performed at during the EU tour, or maybe try to get to new cities? B: "A little bit of both"

Q: What's your fav spanish dish? both: paella

Q: How is the trumpet playing going? Will we see it on stage? B: trumpet playing is going great, will happen on stage at some point too

Q: Is there any connection between Mesto Duhov and the lyrics : "mesto polno je duhov" ? "mesto polno je duhov" is a lyric from Padam B: "There is no connection except for the connection that both of them were written by me and it looks like I have horrible imagination"

Q: Did any of you play any unexpected instruments for any songs? For instance we already know Nace has a guitar track and a drum track on the album but are there any other surprising credits? - Jan played lots of synths and bass on the chorus of Stephanie - Nace played synths and programmed the drums for Stephanie and Lips - Bojan played the drums for Ako Toga Više Neće Biti, bass on the verses of Stephanie and also did synths for Stephanie - Jure played piano for Bluza (???) all credits are written down on the album

Q: Any chance of coming back to Scotland next year? *they both chant "no Scotland no party"*

Q: Do you like BOOOM? both: yes N: he used to be their producer and worked with them on their first songs

Q: Can you give advice for young musicians like you? B: "Surround yourself with people you love and people who inspire you. Trust yourself. Always be critical to yourself but not to a point where you become self harmful"

Q: What do you value the most in life? B: health N: health and relationships

Q: What book could you recommend? Or if you can't choose one, what book are you reading now? B: The Kite Runner and The Alchemist (he then jokes about how Nace should recommend some Disney cartoon)

Q: Who had the idea using the piano for Sonce and who played the part? (I assume Jan but still) And can you upload the damn music sheet for it? I need to play this B: the idea about the piano was collective and if anyone wants the sheet music for the song, they should ask Jan for it

Q: If you had the chance to record and release a cover of a song of any of your favourite artists, which song would it be? *Bojan jokes about it being Gangnam Style* N: something by The Beatles, maybe Let It Be B: Silencio or Bulería by David Bisbal *starts singing Bulería*

Q: Nace, what is the best bassist joke you have ever heard? N: most of them are in slovene and he doesn’t say any B: "I think being the bassist is the biggest joke"

Q: How do you approach writing lyrics? Do you prioritize storytelling, imagery, or rhythm? B: prefers and prioritizes storytelling

Q: Which song do you personally find the most emotional and why? B: "Everybody's Waiting because it's like a very personal struggle song, Ako Toga Više Neće Biti because it's… a very personal struggle song" N: "Whenever I’m hearing Sonce I just get in this special state like I'm getting drown in a song and stop thinking about everything else"

Q: Assuming you’ll come back to The Netherlands in the future, is there another city you’d like to visit or a venue/festival you’d like to play? both: they'd like to play Pinkpop fest

Q: Would you ever like to hold a concert in Ukraine?? B: they'd love that and hopefully as soon as possible

Q: Will there be music videos for the new songs on the album? B: yes N: they're recording a new video soon apparently Bojan wasn't aware of that either lol

Q: Any Italian French or Spanish music that inspired you to try writing in those languages? Also Bojan you can pick two+ languages on duolingo and do them at the same time N: they we listening a lot to an italian song called Il mio canto libero, he loves Nek and he listens to a lot of french electronic B: he's listening to italian, french and spanish music a lot, he loves a song called Buona sera signorina (note: had to google this and maybe the title is actually Buona sera ciao ciao) both: they all like L'Impératrice and Bojan butchers the pronunciation of the band name

*at this moment Bojan finds out you can learn two and more languages on duolingo at the same time and proceeds to add italian to his account*

Q: 1 - What were some of the inspirations for Muzika Za Decu? 2 - Bojan can you tell us a dad joke? 3 - I just wanted to say that Lips should be a soundtrack of a movie B: party breakers *doesn't answer the second question because he's too busy doing italian on duolingo* both: they agree that Lips should be in a movie soundtrack

Q: Do you know when will you release the dates and the cities for the tour? I assume there will be a european tour for the new album N: there will be a european tour at some point next year and they will announce it "once Bojan stops learning italian" (Nace basically makes fun of Bojan doing his duolingo right at that moment)

{break to listen to Lips, Mesto Duhov and Sonce}

Q: Bojan would you try to sing Carpe Diem in estonian ever again? B: yes

Q: Can we expect a new concert intro for the tour for one of the new songs like the intro for Katrina and Gola? N: yes

Q: Is Bojan learning finnish in Duolingo? B: no, only spanish and italian

Q: Will there be a chance of a collab between Joker Out and Käärijä? B: hopefully one day

Q: Do any of you play chess? B: he and Kris play chess online, Kris less often than Bojan

Q: Will you pop a souvenir in Istanbul soon? N: they want to but have to find a date to reschedule the cancelled gig from this summer

Q: Have you visited any tourist attractions while in Bucharest? N: no and only he and Kris walked around the city centre for a bit while being there

Q: Nace, why did you bring four basses to the recording studio in Hamburg and did you record on all of them? N: one of those basses wasn't his and "when you're in the studio you just wanna have more basses"

Q: Is Pino the best boy in whole world? N: yes ❤️❤️❤️

Q: How do you guys decide to who to follow on insta? (for example fan pages,artists) N: they just follow the pages they like

Q: Apart from Nace and gluten, are there any things you all don't like or can't eat? B: he doesn't like tomatoes and is intolerant to avocado

Q: Do y’all notice Joker Out edits on TikTok? Do (did) you like them? N: he and Bojan don't have tiktok. Jure, however, is addicted to it

Q: Did you know that all of you are saving and changing peoples lives? B: "When we started doing music none of us could ever believe, or think even, that it could mean so much to someone as it does to a lot of you. Even though we went through so many different stages in a very short period of time, because our life changed so dramaticaly, I will say that the fact that you actually feel the music and it helps you in certain situations and hard times... I just want you guys to know that literally it means the same to us. The whole sharing of this energy is very real and we are trying to do our best to kind of make you know that we're here. And sometimes it's also hard for us because we're trying to tolerate our personal life and everything else with the music and with communicating with fans, but we appreciate it so dearly and we're happy that it's changing your lives and, just so you know, you're also changing our lives everyday. We're very, very honoured to have you on board with us and so thankful for all your help and all your enthusiasm, for all the love. You're incredible artists as well, we see the arts that you create daily - a lot of it is inspired by us which is also crazy and incredible so... Just a big thank you! And thank you to the Joker Out discord server, you're doing an incredible job, it's become so much bigger than what we ever expected. (thank you) to Joker Out Subs, all the groups that have been formed, as well as Baldies Out. I think it's a very big contribution to the bald Joker Out generation 💀😂. Just thank you so much!"

*Bojan presses something, gets lost in the server and both he and Nace are trying to figure out how to get back to the channel with all the questions (they succeed), they announce that an art contest will start (more info about that can be found on the latest-news channel of the official server) and Nace informs everyone he has to take Pino for a walk before saying bye to the chat*

end

#note: wrote “je t’aime” as “j’taime” only because this is how they had written it themselves #any Pino mention was important and mandatory to include here. i don't make the rules #this took me ages to finish so i need to d word for a moment brb #enjoy ✌🏻#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #nace jordan

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pboogerswbb · 2 months ago

Text

TOO LOST IN YOU - part VII

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc

Warnings: toxic!p, language, sexual language, emotional rollercoaster lol

Wordcount: 4.2K

A/N: SURPRISE SHAWTYYY! didn't think i was gonna get this done today but i did so here is part 7! ily guys please share your thoughts, it keeps me motivated. ty for all your support :))

(paragraphs in italics are flashbacks)

“I love you Valerie.”

Everything stops. The world caves in. The only sound in my ears is ringing, my heart pounding in my head. My chest tightens and stomach twists, the taste of liquor nauseatingly sweet in my mouth.

None of it registers at first, the blonde’s mouth moving but I don’t hear a word that comes out. Not until her hands land on my cheeks to hold my face, as she repeats the words.

“I love you okay?”

I blink at her stupidly, finally taking in those three words the girl was telling me. For a second I think it’s a trick, some sort of joke she’s trying to play on me. To make me look like a damn fool like she had many times before. But then Paige’s blue eyes turn red and glossy, a single tear falling down her cheek. The blonde seemed nearly as shocked by this revelation as I was.

“Val, please say something.”

Her voice is weak, pleading, thumbs smoothing over the skin of my cheeks as she watches me. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. My head feels like a mess, my brain turning more into mush the more I try to understand the girl in front of me.

Memories of me curled up on my bed, sobbing for a week straight after we first called it quits flash through my head, the way my roommates were bringing me food begging me to eat. The excruciating ache in my chest now only a memory felt realer than anything. If I had to go through that again, it might just kill me. Even if somewhere deep down I could feel it eating me alive - the need to say those three words back.

“No, Paige,” I sigh, pushing her hands off me, our gazes meeting. “Paige you don’t love me, you don’t know anything about love!”

“That’s bullshit,” she says back defiantly, her tear filled eyes stuck on mine. “If you don’ feel the same then just say it, don’ come up with some bullshit reason.”

It hurts me, the crack in her voice when she says it. But the fear is much greater than the way it hurts to do this.

“I’m serious Paige, you’re being stupid!”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’ feel it too Val.”

“That’s not the point-”

“Look me in the eye and tell me-”

“I don’t feel that!” Slips from my mouth, the words so convincing I almost believe them myself.

Paige looks devastated, tears streaming down her cheeks. She brings a hand over her face, hiding from me. For a while we stand there, her sniffling the only sound between us.

She wipes her face, not meeting my gaze as she waves a hand at me dismissively, turning around heading back into the bar.

“Man fuck this shit.”

December 2024

“Oh my God, what are you doing Paige?!”

Valerie’s lying in bed, her golden brown hair sprawled out on my pillow, naked body wrapped in the purple sheets as I’m struggling to zip up the mini skirt she had arrived in, much too short for the Christmas party we’d gone to. Though it only took an hour till I was dragging the girl back to mine, the way she’d looked in her outfit drove me up a wall.

“Tryna make a point.”

I look insane, the black mini skirt much too small on my tall frame, Valerie’s sparkly top covering my upper body, looking nothing short of ridiculous on me. The brunette was much shorter and let’s just say the style of the clothes wasn’t exactly… something I usually wore.

“Now where the boots at?” I say panting, finally giving up on the struggle with the zipper of the skirt.

“NO! Don’t touch them, you’re gonna break them!” Valerie yells scooching up on the bed, her face red from how hard she’d been laughing at my absurd behaviour.

“Are you sayin’ I got big feet?” I ask in mock offense, taking my hair down from a bun, messy from the way the brunette in my bed had been pulling on it while I ate her out for the past hour. I would’ve gone for longer but the whines out of that one got so loud Jana and Allie might’ve killed me if I didn’t stop.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she laughs that bright, clear laugh of hers. The one I swear I could never get sick of. “Now take my clothes off! You look ridiculous!”

“Hollup, my point!” I blurt out and stand still in front of her. “These clothes show waaay too much for me to keep my hands to myself.”

Valerie frowns, trying to hide the smirk growing on her face. “Well I don’t really want you right now, I’ll be honest.”

I scoff loud, picking up a pillow from the ground and throwing it at the brunette. She dodges it while giggling.

“I’m just sayinnn’” I roll my eyes and turn around, half of my ass in my boxers peeking out of the tiny skirt. Valerie bursts into a laugh. “Can’t be acting all innocent when you wear a skirt this short. You knew whatchu were doin’.”

“OKAY fine! I wore it so you’d fuck me! Happy?” Valerie giggles, the infectious sound forcing my mouth to twist into a grin.

“Happy,” I hum and lean over to kiss her, she dodges me though leaving me pouting.

“Take the clothes off first,” the girl commands.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

I quickly undress, throwing the clothes all over my room until I’m only in my white boxers, climbing on top of Valerie and tickling her sides, eliciting loud screams from her.

“Jana and Allie are gon’ throw you out if you don’t learn to shut up,” I joke, letting her push my hands away.

“Then stop tickling me you freak!” She yelps, her sheet covered chest heaving.

“I got some other ways to make you scream ma,” I say, wiggling my brows, pulling the purple sheet off her, my eyes hungry to see more again. The brunette is completely naked, apart from the silky purple panties decorating my favourite part of her.

“Paigeee!” Valerie whines, but the smile on her face tells me she’s enjoying this. Looking her up and down I shake my head and whistle.

“Goddamn Val, lemme go again,” I groan, my mouth already watering to taste her.

“Paige I got an early class, I gotta head back,” the brunette under me complains, pushing my head away as I try to kiss her neck.

“No.”

With all my body weight I lie down on top of her, not allowing her to move an inch.

“PAIGEE!”

“Don’t want you to go yet,” I murmur and bury my nose in her hair, letting the scent of coconut comfort me with every inhale. I was itching to ask her to stay over, my lips nearly forming the words. But it was a rule I couldn’t break. I’d already broken far too many just for Valerie.

Truthfully I knew I was obsessed, completely fucked with how I felt about this girl. But I did all I could to push that feeling away. It wasn’t the right time for any of this - maybe if I was someone else I could live my life just to please her, to make her laugh like she had all evening - and God what a happy life that would be. But in this life it wasn’t the task I’d been given. I had bigger worries, a national championship to win. Valerie would be a complete distraction. So I stay silent, trying to make the moment of pretending I’m someone else last a little longer.

Valerie’s blunt nails scratch up and down the skin of my back, my face buried into the crook of her neck.

“When are you leaving for Christmas?” My voice comes out needy but I let it.

“Friday,” Val murmurs, her hand brushing through my hair, forcing my muscles to relax in her arms.

In a moment of utter tranquility I admit.

“I’ll miss you.”

There’s a moment of silence before Valerie’s soft voice mumbles into my ear.

“I’ll miss you too.”

My chest swells with affection, the words forcing a smile to grow on my face. Gently I place kisses on the brunette’s collarbone and shoulder.

“You miss your other girls too?” Valerie’s voice trembles, breaking my heart. I pull back to look at her face, those perfect big brown eyes I couldn’t get enough of.

“No, fuck ‘em, I don even think about ‘em,” I answer truthfully. “I don even fuck with ‘em no more.”

Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that last bit, but it was true - partly. I had barely used my roster in the last two months, my mind completely too wrapped in the brunette underneath me. Only in an emergency did I call any girl up. Shit, I’d even been toying with the idea of just deleting their numbers. Deep down it worried me though, what it might mean for me and Valerie. Maybe it was time. It’s not like I was gonna date her, but no one else got me going anymore. What was the point in fucking them?

“You’re lying,” Valerie says, a hint of hurt in her voice. She could always see right through me.

“Nah, I’m serious. Ion wanna fuck anyone else, do you wanna fuck someone else?”

She bats her eyes at me before slowly shaking her head.

“Then how about we don’t fuck anyone else?”

With a slight smile she nods.

“Okay okay okay Paige no more, I actually have to go now.”

It was two hours later, the blonde had insisted on one more round that had quickly turned into two. Lying on top of her, I finally climb out of bed, my body feeling worn out. I didn’t mind though, I felt ecstatic - almost embarrassingly so. I knew it wasn’t dating, but it was something more. A beginning of something new for me and Paige. From now on it would be just the two of us, no one else. Deep down I wished it meant something greater, that she was in fact falling for me. But perhaps I was just naive in thinking so. That the way she kissed me sometimes felt like this is more to her than sex.

As much as it hurts my ego to admit, I was into her. Badly so. Maybe even falling for her. Paige had grown on me, she was the first person I thought of when I woke up, and the last before I fell asleep,

“You’re no fun Val,” the blonde whines and I playfully shove her, starting to pull my clothes back on.

“Take that back!”

“Fine, fine…” Paige murmurs and gets up too, grabbing my hand and kissing it. I nearly whimper. “You can be fun.”

Rolling my eyes I pull my hand away and slide on the cropped hoodie and sweats I had brought with me. Paige smacks my butt hard as I’m bent over, looking for socks in my bag, making me yelp.

“Did you take my socks?” I ask accusingly as Paige is throwing on a white tee.

“No,” she scoffs. “I ain’t into all that.”

Again, rolling my eyes I scoff. My gaze roams the floor trying to see where my socks could be.

“I’mma go get some water baby,” Paige murmurs, pressing a kiss into my temple before she leaves, my heart immediately aching. Just being a room away was far enough to make my body yearn for her.

Frustrated, I huff and get on my knees. Where were these damn socks? Getting onto the carpeted floor of the blonde’s dorm I look under her bed, my sharp eyes roaming all the forgotten junk left there - hair ties, Paige’s own spare socks, and… a bright pink bra.

The moment I saw it I knew it wasn’t mine. I never wore pink and the bra was much too large for me. It was some other girl’s, someone from Paige’s roster owned that bra. Just a week ago I had dug my hair clip out from under the bed and the bra hadn’t been there. Somehow within the week it had appeared, now forgotten.

I immediately feel nauseous, my heart pounding out of my chest. The tears spill from my eyes involuntarily as I get up from the floor, my hands shaking as I try to hold my breath. Like somehow not breathing would make it better, would delay the realisation about to hit me.

She lied. She hadn’t meant any of it. She’s not with anyone else anymore? Bullshit.

Doing everything I can to hold back my tears I quickly gather my things, socks or no socks I had to get out. I rush out into the hallway, quickly putting my shoes on as Paige returns, holding two glasses of water. For me and her.

“Damn I didn’t know you were in such a hur-”

She goes quiet when she sees my bloodshot eyes, my quivering lower lip.

“Valerie, whoa what’s wrong?” She coos, brows furrowing in concern as she sets the glasses down and tries to grab hold of me.

“Don’t touch me!” I tell her, my voice shrill and shaky.

Paige looks at me shocked, clearly unaware where the sudden change was stemming from.

“Yo, Val…”

“See I knew you were a dick but you’re an even bigger liar than I realised. Fuck you Paige and I mean that,” I cry out, defiantly meeting her gaze. I wanted to hurt her the way I felt hurt, the way my heart felt like it had been stabbed repeatedly.

“Baby what’s going on?”

“Do not call me that! Ever again! Matter of fact I never wanna talk to you again, or see you again. Go fuck those other girls on your roster I don’t give a shit!”

With that and before the blonde can respond, I rush out, barely feeling the icy breeze of December, my feelings much too intense to feel anything at all. I felt dizzy, my brain struggling to keep up. I don’t start sobbing until I close the door to my dorm behind me, sliding down against it and crashing onto the floor.

“Hey.”

“Hey, come in.”

Jay looks tired when she opens her door to let me in with a box full of her stuff (surprisingly a lot) she’d left at mine in the past month. It was the first time I’d seen her since her birthday, a couple weeks of me trying to reach her for nothing. She’d finally called me back yesterday and agreed to talk.

“Let me get that Riri,” the blonde murmurs, grabbing the box from my hands. I couldn’t push away the veil of guilt hovering over me. I could feel it in my chest, tightening and making me nauseous.

“Could we talk?” I ask carefully and to my surprise Jay nods. We slip into her dorm room, as I take off my jacket. March had been pleasant and bright, a surprising warmth making way for spring.

I take a deep breath closing the door behind us. I was ready to beg, to get on my knees and crawl for her to forgive me and take me back. These two weeks had given me time to really think, to reflect. Without distractions, without Paige.

God had I gotten myself into a mess. All because of Paige fucking Bueckers. None of it was sensible really, not at all. Matter of fact the only thing that made sense about this whole situation was me and Jay. And I know with time I’d fall in love with her. At least I felt safe with her. So I was ready to do anything for her to take me back.

Just as I’m about to begin my well practiced speech Jay interrupts me.

“Before you start, I talked to Paige.”

My heart drops, hearing her name already enough to make my mind spin. I stand quietly for a while, just staring at the blue eyed girl.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Justine hums, looking at the ground, patting the bed next to where she’s sitting. I carefully sit down, leaving some space between us. My mind is racing but my mouth can’t form any words, so for a brief moment I just stare at the hands in my lap.

“Wh- what’d she say?” I ask, my voice a little shaky.

Jay sighs and shrugs. “She wouldn’t tell me anything.”

Good. But surprising. I figured she would’ve said anything to get me to herself, tell her all about what we’d been up to before we got caught. She’s just that selfish, saying whatever for her own selfish reasons. Even telling me she loved me.

“Look, Jay. I fucked up, I really did. But I wanna make it right with us, please let me. I don’t wanna lose you,” I plead my case, taking Jay’s hands and meeting her gaze. She looks at me softly, a sad smile on her face when she pulls her hands back.

“Valerie…” She sighs. “I’m not mad. I was, for a few days but not anymore. Not since I understood.”

I furrow my brows in confusion. “Understood what?”

She takes a deep breath, holding my gaze. “She loves you.”

I scoff, burying my face into my hands. God, Paige was the most manipulative person I knew, even convincing Jay about her feelings for me. I can’t believe she had said that to Jay. How incredibly selfish of her.

“Look, even if she said that she doesn’t actually mean that. Paige says stupid shit all the time, so if she said tha-”

“She didn’t.” The blonde interrupts. I’m once again confused.

“She didn’t have to, I could tell,” Jay explains. I rub my eyes before returning my hands to my lap. “She came over here the day after… everything. Told me that she’d been sleeping with you. That she had convinced you to, and I shouldn’t be mad at you. That it was all her fault, and that she feels like shit about it.”

There’s an uncomfortable knot in my stomach as I listen to the girl next to me, imagining Paige by her door, taking the blame for everything we’d done together. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

“Then she said I should forgive you and take you back. That I seem like a good person and I deserve you. That you deserve someone like me, someone that makes you happy and makes you feel safe.”

I swallow loud, my mind trying to wrap around the words coming out of Jay’s mouth.

“She said you’re the most beautiful and most special girl she’s ever met, and that I’m lucky to have you. That I shouldn’t fuck it up like she did, that I should protect you and take good care of you so you can be happy. She kept saying that. How she just wants you to be happy Riri,” Jay sighs looking out of the window. I look too, watching the two birds flying around a branch, chasing each other.

“She looked like she’d been crying. Her eyes were all red and stuff.”

I felt an ache in my chest, a weight on me like I couldn’t breathe. The prospect of Paige saying all that, the most selfish person I knew willing to let me go just for me to be happy, felt unbelievable. Maybe I got some of it wrong, maybe she wasn’t selfish at all. Maybe she really cared for me, or perhaps, maybe she really loved me.

The thought makes my heart swell, my brown eyes welling up. For a moment I dare to dream that Jay was right, that Paige meant every word she said. That she loved me. Paige loved me.

Suddenly I’m crying, tears spilling down my cheeks as I bury my face into my hands once more. The blonde next to me rubs my back comfortingly.

“See, I always wondered why no matter what I did, how much I worked, you just didn’t like me like I liked you. It drove me up the walls wondering,” Jay murmurs while I sniffle into my hands. “Valerie, you love her too.”

And I nod. She’s right. Now that I had the courage to believe Paige really loved me it was impossible not to admit it. I loved her too.

“All I care about is money and the city that I'm from I'ma sip until I feel it, I'ma smoke it till it's done And I don't really give a fuck, and my excuse is that I'm young,” KK raps, shaking me harshly, somehow still hyped from yesterday’s win. Bless her but I wouldn’t mind if she was a little less hyped about it.

“C’mon P boogers, sing with meeee!” The girl complains as the song continues playing in the background. With a groan, I push her hands off my black Nike tech, sliding my sleep mask back over my eyes.

“And I'm only getting older sosomebody shoulda told ya I'm on one, yeah, Fuck it, I'm on one!” KK’s practically jumping now. Thankfully Caroline sitting behind us pushes the girl back down onto her seat.

“Put your seatbelt on!” She commands and I sigh in relief.

“Thank you Lord,” I mumble, leaning my head against the seat. I knew the girl next to me only had good intentions - I hadn’t really been myself since Valerie had turned me down. In fact I’d barely slept, waking up in tears on a few occasions, not able to escape her even in my dreams.

I tried to bury myself in the game which was the only thing that seemed to work. So for the past 2 weeks all I had done was train - it was fine by me. Because the national championship was only a few games away, barely out of my reach. I had faith in us that it was ours. That Valerie turning me down was God’s plan of reminding me what really was important - the game. Being great.

Still, I hadn’t felt like laughing much. No matter the effort from the girls. I just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel anything. The win barely felt like anything either.

“Paige you prolly shouldn’t sleep, we’re almost home,” Ice chuckles and I lift my eye mask, grinning a little.

“Oh I only put this on so Ion have to see KK’s stupid face,” I joke, making the girl next to me scoff loudly.

“YOO, I wanna sit next to someone else,” she groans, standing up in her seat once more. “COAACH can I sit next to you!” She yells to the front of the bus, making everyone groan. We loved her though, I swear.

“Absolutely not.” Geno says sternly, just when the bus pulls up to Storrs, stopping abruptly. Everyone starts stirring around me, but I just sit there, watching the girls pack their stuff. I let everyone off the bus before me - usually I was one of the first ones trying to get out, too restless to sit still and wait. But I don't care right now. I take my time gathering the things spread all over my seat, carefully packing my backpack and taking my time zipping it up. Trying to prolong the moment I had to step into my dorm room as much as I could.

Everything in there reminds me of her. The pillows still had a faint scent of coconut, the white t-shirt I’d borrowed her that first night we met staring back at me in my closet. After checking twice that no one left anything on the bus, I finally make my way out, rubbing my eyes and stepping out into the March evening.

When my eyes flicker open I see her, like a cruel mirage of some sort making my knees nearly buckle. Valerie’s standing by the parking lot, staring at me. I can tell from the flush in her cheeks and the way she’s wrapping the jacket around her that she’s been waiting for a while.

My chest tightens when our eyes meet, part of me wants to run, the other to cry. But I stand there, watching her. She looks as beautiful as ever, and I can’t help but let out a sigh of relief getting to see her wide eyes once more. Fuck I missed her.

“Valerie?” I ask, my heart racing so hard I feel lightheaded. I walk to her out of instinct, holding my backpack over my shoulder. Valerie looks at me, gathering courage as she opens her mouth.

“I love you too.”

Before I can process, she’s kissing me, hands wrapped around my shoulders and I instinctually lift her legs off the ground by her waist, my lips pressing into hers desperately. It feels like I’ve been drowning and I’m finally coming up for air, relief washing over me. I don’t understand, and I don’t need to. At this moment all I know is I love her, and Valerie loves me too.

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch@mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @justliketoreadsowhat@oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her @julieloveswbb@vsz333 @faeries-posts @vamptizm @ellapurnellmybeloved @ivorygoal @onlyhereforpazzi @thelightknight21@paigeluvvr@absolutelydreadful@imamartini@lupinqs@authentic-girl03@isurpussygreen@xxloveralways14 @ivorygoal @wcbbfics @numberonepartyanth3m @mtslab @paigesbabygirl @jadasogay @bueckersp @joemamasbib @mrpotscrapa535 @avvwritesstufff @paigesluver

#too lost in you #lilas writing #paige bueckers #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers x fem oc #paige bueckers fic #wnba x oc #wbb

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letsbangts · 2 months ago

Text

end of a day || jjk

⤷ summary: when the day tries to weigh you two down you both are there to lift each other up

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ word count: 1.1k

⟶ genre: angst, fluff, established relationship au

⟶ content: boyfriend!jk, stress, crying, & a comforting koo

⟶ warnings: none

↬ a/n: inspired by one of my all time favourite p.s the italics are the song lyrics & as always let me know what you think i really appreciate feedback :) recommend a song if you’d like and i’ll write a scenario with it like i did with this song! angel xoxo

˖⁺. ༶ NOW PLAYING ༶ .⁺˖ end of a day jonghyun ʚ♡ɞ 01:43 ─✮───── 03:07 ⇆ ⊲ II ⊳ ↺ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

masterlist ˚.⋆˚.⋆˚.⋆ join my taglist

hold out your hand, wrap it around my neck. a little below, massage my shoulders. at the end of a tiring day, even if the sun has already come up i'm finally closing my eyes

Sometimes it can feel like there are too many hours in a day. The day has been going on for too long. A day where life felt a bit too hard, where the world got a bit too busy, a bit too heavy and decided to lay its weight upon your shoulders and your heart. A day that all you needed was a hand to reach out to you. It was one of those days for me today, a day that is finally coming to a close as I see the sun going down on the horizon as I make my way back home ready to shut my eyes. Home. The place I could not reach any quicker. It is not the four walls I am racing to arrive to but to him, as he is my real home.

i close the door to my day later than others playfully tickle my earlobe because even though we’ve been in different worlds all day we always end the day together

I enter my house and close the door also closing the door to my day. Many others have probably retired from their days long before me. I hear the clicking of a mouse an all too familiar sound to me, almost a reassuring sound. And that is when I knew although we were both in two completely different worlds the whole day, my day was just as draining as his. As I walk in and turn to see Jungkook’s tired face and slumped figure still working away, illuminated by his monitor screen I realize his day has been just as long as mine. Seeing him released all the pressure off my shoulders and I can almost release a sigh of relief knowing as always we can end our day together.

your small shoulders, your small hands become my cozy blanket at the end of a tiring day

For some reason seeing Jungkook today, maybe because of the stress or exhaustion, whatever it is the second I see him a welling feeling emerges in my chest.

“Kook?” my voice shakes out.

He turns his head, not noticing my presence before being absorbed in his work, only ready to go to bed as soon as he’s pleased with his edit.

“Hmm?” as he turns his head his glasses reflect the glare caught from the screen.

We make eye contact and he watches as I approach him. As I walk closer to him he immediately wheels back his chair from the desk making space for me. He opens his arms when he sees my quivering lips and watery eyes, pulling me with his lap. He wraps his arms around my small shoulders, my small hands clutch onto his shirt as I cry into him. With my face buried in his chest, I stain his shirt with my tears, shedding my day. He rubs my back letting me get out the feelings I pent up for hours. He is silent as he embraces me until I hear him let out a deep sigh himself and I suddenly feel like I am comforting him at the same time. For the first time in my day, I finally take a breath of contentment able to relax and Jungkook seemingly doing the same.

you did a good job today, you worked so hard i hope my shoulders and my thick hands will become cozy comfort for the end of your tiring day as well

Jungkook pats my head with his thick hands probably stiff from all the clicking and typing the diligent work he always puts into everything.

“It’s okay. You did a good job today. You worked so hard, I know you did.” he soothes me with a gentle voice.

I sniffle and pull back to look up at him. I remove his glasses from his face and place them on his desk. I look into his eyes, red with dark bags underneath them as he stares back at mine, red and filled with tears.

I blanked out as I admired him filling myself with the warmth of satisfaction I get from simply being with him.

i want to naturally sync my breathing with yours like water in a bathtub that wraps around you with no space left i wanna warmly hold you without any space left

I want to end my day with Jungkook. Merge me with him, with his breathing, with his heartbeat, with his movements, his everything, with his very being.

“I missed you,” I say to him “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” He replies hugging me tighter.

“You must have had quite a day as well I shouldn't be crying on you like this.” I wipe away my tears and laugh at my selfishness, burdening him with my tears.

at the end of my day, filled with awkward mistakes you, my prize, are waiting for me. i can’t cry all I want or even laugh all I want at the end of a tiring day but still, if I’m next to you like a child, I can whine and then laugh till I run out of breath i’m not used to seeing myself like this

He takes my face into his hands, cupping my cheeks his thumbs rubbing them back and forth. His gaze is loving as he says,

“No matter what kind of day I have, one filled with accomplishments or one filled with mistakes, once we come together my day can never end on a bad note. You are my prize, you being here with me is all the reassurance I need to know I can get through this day, and the next, and any more that may come. I may be one to suppress my feelings and not express myself fully, I don’t cry all the time or laugh as often as I should. But at the end of a tiring day, I know if I'm next to you, you will let me whine like a child and then you'll have me laughing until I’m out of breath. And it still surprises me after all these years with you seeing myself like that.”

I glide my hands up to his neck and pull him in for a kiss so deep that it feels like we become one, breaths intertwined.

Sometimes it can feel like there are too many hours in a day. The day has been going on for too long. But right now I realize there can never be enough hours in a day for me when I am with Jungkook. So the day can go on for as long as it wants because no matter how long it is I can make it through knowing that at the end of it, I will make my way back to Jungkook.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

you did a good job today, you worked so hard you are my prize

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marvellous1917 · 2 years ago

Text

Icarus Falling

(Part 2)

Pairing: mob!Bucky x female!tattoo artist!reader

Summary: It’s gonna be a busy day. Giving a tattoo to a mobster that broke into your home was nothing compared to the fact that you can’t stop thing about how fucking hot he is.

Warnings: lots and lots of swearing, mention of crime (duh), fights, broken bones, tattoo needles, threats, think that’s it.

Part one ⬇️:

A/N: AAHHHH the response to part one was actually insane!!!! I hope this second part is good enough. Love u all <3

———————

Bold is reader’s thoughts.

Italics is Bucky’s thoughts.

The size of the tattoo is in inches.

———————

Walking to the shop, your thoughts were running a mile a minute. Holy fuck, what the fuck, did last night actually happen?, James Barnes is gorgeous and made falling asleep last night really fucking difficult, screw him for making me all hot and bothered. Asshole. But one persistent one came screaming to the front- how the fuck am I supposed to tell Frank?

Unfortunately there was not a lot of time to come up with an answer to that, the shopfront coming into view as you turn the corner. Jigsaw Ink stood proud in the middle of the busy Brooklyn street, the black paint of the walls in stark contrast to the pastel pink of the florists’ to one side and the baby blue of the cafe the other.

The shop was a second home to you, the couch at the front becoming a bed for you sometimes after a night out, or if Caleb was being an ass. Frank was nice enough to let you crash when you needed, trusting you with his business. Frank, and the other two artists at the shop, Billy and Curtis were like family - a weird combination of protective older brothers and best friends who were terribly bad influences on you.

The bell on the door rang when you opened it and there was a yelled “Y/N? That you?” from a deep voice at the back of the room.

“Yeah Frankie, it’s me. I thought Billy was supposed to be here, not you?” You yelled back, moving behind the counter toward your station, dropping your bag and taking off your jacket.

“He was, but he managed to get his ass knocked out last night so he’s taking the day off,” Frank replied laughing, walking out from the back towards you.

“What? Is he ok?” You ask, giving Frank a hug when he got closer.

“Managed to piss somebody off at a bar, not really sure what happened, but he’s fine. Just stupid,” he replied, patting your back as you release him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy but he is an idiot I swear, you can guarantee it was his fault as well,” you say.

Frank chuckle and nods as a response, “yeah I bet. Hey , you got many appointments today?” He asks.

Shit. How the fuck am I supposed to tell Frank Castle - literally the most protective man on earth - that I had to move all of my appointments to next week because a damn mobster broke into my house and demanded I gave him a tattoo today.

“…uh. No just the one, I had to move the rest,” you answer, praying to whoever was listening that Frank wouldn’t ask any questions.

“Why’s that?”

Fuucckkkk.

“Umm..no reason really..” your mind went completely blank, the only thing running through you head were those goddamn blue eyes.

“Kid, what’s going on?” Franks’ eyes narrowing, seeing straight through your bullshit response.

Ughhh. Change the subject right now. “Y’know you call me kid all the time, you’re not that much older than me Frankie. I mean there’s only-”.

“You’re ramblin’ kid. The fuck is going on?” He says, all sense of humor him from his voice.

Ah, there his is, protective Frankie coming in full force.

“Shit. Ok so here’s what happened-” you tell him the full story, coming home from work to see a dangerous criminal chilling in your apartment, the fear that came with that lovely surprise, Caleb’s debt, the weird philosophical conversation, the tattoo talk. All of it.

Of course, excluding the part where you found yourself extremely attracted to the fucking mobster, his weirdly slightly comforting presence, and the fact that the memory of those blue eyes where all you could see as your hand slipped between your legs before you fell asleep.

To be fair to the man, Frank listened to every word you had to say, not interrupting one. But you could see on his face every single emotion he was feeling, the main one being just straight up confusion.

“Lemme get this straight. The fucking Winter Soldier broke into your house last night and is coming in for a tattoo in..” he checked his watch as he spoke, “..an hour?”

“..yeah.” Hit the nail on the head there Frankie.

“Shit.” He says, rubbing his hand over his face in an act of desperation.

“Yep.” You say, patting his arm to try and reassure him.

“Alright, I’m gonna be here the whole time, don’t you worry about that kid. You’re gonna be fine.” He assures you, obviously worried about you.

“I know that Frankie, and if it’s any consolation, he didn’t seem all that bad.” You answer.

“Not that bad?!” He almost shouts, and incredulous look on his face, “Y/N he’s a fucking gangster. He’s fucking danger-“

“FRANK!” You yell, the only way to cut off his tirade before it starts. “I know that, but last night he didn’t do anything bad,okay, and if he wanted to hurt me, he definitely would have done it by now. I’ll be fine Frank, I’ll just give him the tattoo and that will be it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta set everything up.” You say, moving back to your station, beginning to grab everything you need.

“Holy fuck kid, how are you not freaking the fuck out right now?” He whisper shouts, running one hand up and down his head.

“I’m not sure. I think…I think I trust him not to hurt me. It’s weird, but my gut’s telling me I’ll be fine.” You answer, starting to print some different sized stencils.

“Kid your brain is brok-” Frank starts to say but he’s cut off by his phone ringing. He pulls it from his pocket and says “Shit, it’s my kids’ school, I gotta take it.”

You wave him off, Frank answers the phone with a sigh.

He walks off to the back of the shop, leaving you to finish setting up your station. Frank talks for a minute and wander back towards you.

“My girl got into a fight at school, Maria’s busy at work so I’ve got to go get her,” he says, dragging his hands down his face, in a way only an exasperated father could.

“Oh my god is she ok?” You ask.

“She’s fine, but apparently she broke some little shitheads nose for picking on her friends,”

“Like father, like daughter then,” you respond with a laugh.

“Can the people I care about stop getting themselves in dangerous situations for like five goddamn seconds.” Frank says, throwing a pointed glare your way.

“Frankie, how many times, I’m gonna be fine alright, go get your kid and -I dunno- take her out for ice cream, tell her she did good.” You say, pushing him to the door.

“Only if you’re one hundred percent certain you’ll be fine.” He says, already pulling his jacket from the hook.

“I’m good I swear, now go!”

“Ok ok I’m going, stop pushing me” he says, leaving the shop and letting the door fall closed behind him, the bell ringing as it did.

Only a minute passed before your phone pinged with a text.

James:

Have you already forgotten about me that quickly doll?

Send me the address to the shop

Now… please

Fuck me. Why does just his text give me fucking butterflies. Ugh. How irritating.

You send him the address and his response is cheeky as shit.

James:

See you at 1 doll, you better be wearing something pretty for me.

Little shit.

————

You had the music in the shop bumping, using it to help calm your pounding heart, adrenaline starting to get the best of you. Your favourite song came over the speakers so you turned it up and started to dance a little, knowing that you had at least 10 minutes before Barnes turned up. Unfortunately this action caused you to miss the ringing of the bell on the door.

Holy shit - ink and a show, today is going better than expected already.

Bucky slowly let the door close, trying not to disturb the dancing girl he couldn’t get out of his head. He lent against the wall, just watching and waiting…and staring.

Shaking out your hands to get rid of any nerves, you turn and nearly scream when you see Barnes stood at the door.

“Oh god, sorry I didn’t hear you come in,” you say, subtly looking him up and down and damn he looks good. Ever the powerful mobster, he wore a black suit, his black shirt had no tie and was unbuttoned at the top. His hair was slicked back from his face, opposite to how it was the night before. This was the other side of him, the business man - James Barnes: the face of multiple charities, the man that law enforcement could never seem to put behind bars. Last night you met the threat, the assassin, and you may be one of the first in his history to survive a meeting with the Soldier.

“No problem doll, I was enjoying the show,” he says, pushing off of the wall and stalking towards you.

Oh my god, “oh..ok, well I have everything set up and ready so if you’re ok to start I say let get going,” you respond, turning to the part of the shop where your station was, nerves flooding back, wanting to get this over as soon as possible.

“Damn girl, not even any small talk?” He asks, slowly following you to the table.

“Oh sorry, I would have asked how your day has been so far, but I didn’t want you to think I was prying into your business. I wouldn’t want you to think I was being disrespectful ab-”

“Ramblin’ again doll, thought I told you that you don’t need to be afraid of me,” he said softly, sounding genuine. “I know what people say about me, I understand why you would be nervous, but I just ask you to not believe everything you hear, ok doll? I’m not who they say I am.” His tone was gentle, almost tired but still pleading, hoping you believe him.

“So you’re not a mobster?” You ask, voice low and calm.

“Oh no I am,” he responds with a small laugh, “I am, and I do what gangsters do. But I am not the ruthless animal I’m made out to be, doll I’m just not. I do what needs to be done.”

His voice breaks slightly on the pet name. His tone is so sincere and tired. Oh my..he’s telling the truth. It actually affects him to hear that about himself.

“Ok,” you respond, siting on your stool next to your station and the table, looking up at him with no fear in your eyes, trusting his words.

“Ok? That’s your response?” He asks, moving around the table to sit on it directly in-front of you.

“Yeah. What did you want me to do Barnes, not believe you?” You ask, all fear gone from your voice.

“Of course not,” he says, confusion laced in his voice, his eyebrows furrowed, “but I wasn’t expecting you to believe me immediately, shit you were scared of me like a minute ago.”

“I know but I think I trust you? You haven’t done anything to me, y’know other than breaking into my apartment. I trust you when you say you’re not someone I should be afraid of.” You answer truthfully.

“…good.” He says, at a loss of what to say next.

“Good. So, Barnes, are we doing this or what?” You ask.

“Yeah let’s do it doll, and please, call me Bucky.” He responds, shrugging off his jacket, folding it and placing it on the head of the table. You had to make a conscious effort to not stare at the way his arms filled out his shirt, but damn it was hard. He sat silently waiting for you to talk.

“Ok..Bucky.. tell me about what size and what placement you want for this.” You say, “I printed some sizes out because I wasn’t sure what size you wanted, and I can reprint or adjust it based in what you want.”

“Oh you a real professional, huh? Not gonna lie to you doll, that serious voice is kinda getting me goin’” he says, smirk on his face, leaning back on his arms, lifting his hips and moving slightly on the table.

Fuck me, what is this man doing to me? He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s talking again.

“I want to get it on my forearm, the inside, and I think that size looks good,” he says, pointing to the 10x8 you printed.

“Ok that sounds good, which arm were you thinking?”

Silence. He stares down at you, an unreadable look on his face. You break eye contact and then freeze.

Shit. Shit. You dumbass. Which arm? Which fucking arm? Are you kidding? I can literally see his metal fucking hand. Oh dear god.

The silence between you goes on for entirely too long. You’re not sure whether you should apologise or wait for him to speak first. You weren’t sure if he would be offended, having a reminder of his injury.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, just continues to stare down at you, that blank look on his face. Looking back up at him, you start to apologise but the words get caught in your throat. His eyes. He couldn’t control them the same way he did his face, tons of different emotions flowing through them, none lasting long enough for you to understand before another one took its place.

If only you knew what he was actually thinking. She asked which arm. She knows about my arm, everyone does, but she still asked. She forgot. The arm is all people see, a weapon, an instrument used to inflict nothing but pain. It’s all people see, but she forgot. That’s not what she sees. Maybe…maybe she just sees me.

He’s shuts his racing thoughts down, fully aware of how awkward the silence was becoming. “I’m thinking my right arm might be a little easier for you doll,” he says, an amused look crossing his face, his tongue poking his cheek.

You open your mouth to apologise for your mistake but he holds up his right hand and says, “and please, you don’t have to apologise like I know you’re going to, we’re all good darlin’.”.

He’s gotta stop with the pet names before I melt.

“Ok, uh, are you sure, because I honestly meant no disrespect or anything. I-,” you start, but Bucky cut you off quickly.

“Darlin’, what did I just say?” A stern tone coats his words and goddamn does it send a shiver down your spine. You internally roll your eyes and look away, back to your station, when you feel two warm fingers on your jaw, turning your head back to looks at him. Holy fuck. He places his thumb on the other side of your jaw, forcing you to keep looking at him as he leans in closer. His voice was low when he said, “That wasn’t a rhetorical question, Y/N, what did I just say?”

Jesus fucking wept. Somehow his use of your name made your heart pound, and the fact that his hand was so warm and strong holding onto your face.

“You said we’re all good..” you answer trailing off at the end of your sentence. His eyes don’t move from yours for a second.

“And?” He asks, tilting his head slightly.

Christ alive.

“I don’t have to apologise..” you say, eyes flicking between his and falling to his lips for a second and then back to his eyes.

“That’s right darlin’,” his eyes dropped to your lips, his tongue darting out to wet his lip. “So stop, okay?” He says, lifting your chin to catch your eye.

“Yes sir.” It’s an automatic response but you can’t help but be a little proud of yourself when he lets out a small throaty growl at the name.

“Careful doll.” He responds, letting go and leaning back, “How about we get started before I do something you regret, hmm?”

Like I could regret you.

You turn back to your station to try and clear your head of all the dirty thoughts running wild. “Ok.. Bucky, if you could roll up your sleeve so I can wipe the area, I’ll place the stencil and you can check if it’s where you want it to be.” You say, not used to the name he said to call him by.

“Mhm,” he hums, releasing the cuff link on his right sleeve, his prosthetic catching the glare of the light above, the plates shining. He places the cuff link in the pocket of his jacket and begins rolling up his sleeve and folds it at his elbow.

You clean the area and place the stencil straight on his arm, and peel it off.

“There’s a mirror on the wall over there, you can check if it’s alright.” You say.

“Okie dokie doll,” he responded the furrowed his brows, like he was confused at why he said that, not very gangster of him.

I like him. He says okie dokie.

“Looks good there darlin’, and as much as I hate to say it, we gotta speed this up a little, I’m expecting a call at some point around 2:30 and I’d prefer you not have to hear it.” He says, coming back to the table, sitting down and swinging his legs up onto it.

You take his arm, putting it on the rest in a position easiest for tattooing while saying “Why’s that? Would you have to kill me if I overheard your call?” You ask, enough humor in your voice for him to know you’re joking.

“Probably, depends how much you hear.” He said, completely deadpan. He looks at you and you have the strangest feeling that he actually wouldn’t hurt you either way.

“Shit ok. Is that position comfortable for you?”

“I’m all good darlin’, let’s go,” he says, adjusting his position on the table slightly. His left arm rests across his stomach as he sits on the table, leaning against the backrest, his ankles crossed.

“Ok I’m gonna do a small line so you know how it feels,” you look at him and he nods. You draw a line about 2 centimetres long then stop, “how’s that?” You ask.

“Ain’t nothin’ doll, keep goin’.” He responds.

“Ok here we go.” You say, getting back to it.

————

You’ve been tattooing for about 40 minutes, and there hasn’t been a word spoken between the both of you. His arm kept flexing whenever you moved away, and he kept clenching his jaw, like he was in pain but was refusing to admit it, even to himself.

“Are you ok? We can stop for five if you want a break? I’ve just finished the outline so I’ve got to change needles anyway.” You ask, disrupting the silence between you, moving the machine away from his arm so you can switch to a higher grouping for the blackwork.

“I’m fine Y/N, how much longer do you think it’ll take?” He asks, moving his head to look at the outline that you had completed.

“Oh it’s hard to say, but probably another 30 at least,” you respond, looking at him while he was admiring the tattoo so far.

God he’s pretty.

“Shit.” He says, rubbing his forehead with his other hand.

“Are you worried about your call?” You ask calmly.

“Not worried about the call itself… just having to do it here may cause some issues.” He responds, lowering his hand to his thigh.

“Because I’m here? I can go to a different room if you want?” You say, placing the machine back on your station, and turning to look at him fully.

“It’s ok doll, to be honest with you, nothing that needs to be said will make any sense to you anyway, and I mean that in the least offensive way possible.” He says, looking at you with apologetic face, tilting his head slightly. “But depending on the news I get, I wouldn’t want my reaction to… scare you.”

“Oh.. well I guess we’ll see when your call comes.” You answer, unsure of how to react to that.

————

The sharp ringing of his phone interrupts the sounds of the machine. You move the machine away from him, turning it off so he could speak freely without noise.

“I really am sorry about this darlin’, but it’s important-”

“Answer it then, it’s fine Bucky.” You cut him off, concerned he was going to miss it if he kept talking.

He gave you another apologetic look, and then turned his back to you to get off the table and answer the call.

You sat in silence as he started to speak.

“Rogers, what did ya find?” His voice changes from how he speaks to you, deeper and more serious.

The person on the other line speaks for a moment before Bucky responds, “we already knew that, didn’t we? What new information did you find?”

Silence.

“Of course he is..,” there is anger in his tone now, “get someone to tell the asshole he can threaten what he likes, I’m not sitting down with him.”

A moment goes by and you think that may have been the end of it, until you see his shoulders tense and-

“FUCK NO!” He shouts, making you jump a little.

“No Rumlow Gets Nothing, I don’t give a shit what he’s doing… Then send the commissioner a goddam gift basket Steve, some portraits of his family would be nice, remind him why he pays us the fucking protection fee.” He seethes at the man down the phone.

This should not be turning me on, shit.

“For fucks sake… Walker is nothing Steve, just some fucking Nazi junkie with a rich daddy, trying to get his hands on my shit…get Nat to bring his ass in, I’ll deal with it Steve… I said I’d deal with it.”

His tone on the last sentence sends a shiver down your spine, what the fuck does ‘deal with it’ mean?

“Ah shit is he ok?” Bucky asks, tone soft now, caring even, “Damn, he’s gonna be out for blood now.. good for him.. give Clint the week off, find the guys and give the pricks to him, let him get out some of his pent up craziness out.”

Oh Clint sounds fun.

“Ok, alright I gotta go now man. Yeah I’m at the shop… nah it’s nothing..yeah ya did… ok fuck off now.. later man.”

He hangs up the phone, takes a death breath and pinches the place between his eyebrows, his other hand going to his hip. He stands like that before he turns back to you, with a small awkward smile. That was cute.

“Sorry about that doll, hope I didn’t upset ya,” he says, walking around the table and looking down at you.

“You didn’t. I gotta ask though, is your friend or whoever ok?” You ask, not bringing up the start of the call where the man in-front of you all but admitted to a multitude of crimes - blackmail, extortion, supplying drugs. He sounded different- genuine when he asked if the man was ok. It was sweet.

“Clint? Yeah no he’s fine, got jumped last night so he’s pissed about it, but he’s ok, worst thing he got were some nasty bruises and a broken finger.” Bucky responds, confusion on his face, wondering why you care.

“How did he break a finger?” you ask, moving backwards as he sits back on the table.

“Oh he didn’t go down without a fight, clocked one of them on his way out,” he says with a small chuckle.

“Ah, good for crazy Clint,” you say with a smile.

Bucky let’s out a sharp quick laugh, “that exactly what I thought doll,” he says, leaning back and putting his arm on the rest, “ready when you are.” He adds.

Ok right back to it. Got it boss.

“Ok, should only be about 10 more minutes.” You say.

“Alright doll.” He answers, leaning his head back on the rest, tilting his head so he could watch you.

Ten minutes later you were finished, putting your machine down for the final time.

“Okie dokie, I’m all done. Have a look in the mirror, see what ya think,” you say, hoping he liked it, not much you could do about it if he didn’t.

He moves over to the mirror, checking out his new ink, twisting his arm around to see it fully. He’s silent for a little while before he says, “fuck doll, you’re a damn artist.”

“Does that mean you like it?” You ask, failing to hide the hope in your voice.

“I love it. Couldn’t have asked for a better one for my first piece.” He says, walking forwards to stand in-front of you, letting you wrap the fresh tattoo, handing him a leaflet on aftercare as you talk.

“You’re shitting me,” you say, “was that seriously your first one?”

“Yeah, why are you so surprised darlin?” He responds, tilting his head.

“I don’t know, just sorta thought you’d have them all over.” You answer.

“All over, huh. You been thinking about me naked doll?” He says with a cheeky grin, talking half a step closer to you.

Shit.

“What, n-no of course not, why would I do that. I mean I’m sure you look good - uh fine.. naked but I don’t-” you cut yourself off before you embarrass yourself anymore.

“No, no ramble on Y/N please, I’m really enjoying watching you try to figure your way out of the grave you’re digging right now,” he says, chucking lightly.

“Shut up Bucky, leave me alone” you responds, looking down at your feet.

“Hey,” he grabs your chin, again, and add pressure until you’re looking up at his eyes, “don’t ever try and tell me what to do, darlin, I don’t tend to respond well to it. I won’t ‘shut up’ and I’ll never ‘leave you alone’… I like ya too much for that.” He says, sounding like a mix between a threat and a compliment.

“Uh.. okay.” You answer, not sure how to respond to his words.

He can tell that you don’t know what to say, so he mercifully breaks the silence. “I love the tattoo doll, it’s looks amazing. You’ve got a talent Y/N.” He drops his hand from your chin as he speaks.

“Thank you, Bucky. It means a lot.” You answer sincerely.

“How much do I owe you sweetheart?” He asks, reaching into his jacket for his wallet.

That’s a new one.

“Uh, say $180?” You respond.

“$180? Damn you gotta charge more than that doll,” he says pulling some bills from his wallet.

He hands you the bills and says “now that’s for today and it should cover next time too, take half for now and half for then.”

You’re stunned by the fact that he’s already planning for next time but your jaw actually drops when you look at the bills.

They were hundreds.

“Woah I think you gave me the wrong bills,” you say, trying to push the bills back in his hands.

“No I didn’t, I know what I gave you. $180 for today, say $200 for next time and the rest is tip.” He answers smoothly, folding your hand back over the bills.

You look down to count and start shaking your head, “I can’t accept this, it’s way too much.”

“Consider it a thank you for dealing with the inconvenience of me having to do business in the middle of the appointment.” He says with a smile.

“Bucky this is 2000 dollars.”

“I know.” He puts up his hand again, stopping you from talking, “I’m not taking it back doll, just have it will ya?” He says, rolling his sleeve back down, doing the cuff back up with the cufflink and placing his jacket back on.

“Oh my god, you’re serious aren’t you?” You ask, unbelievable he wanted you to have over fifteen hundred dollars as tip.

“Yes I am.” He answers, straightening his jacket, “it also may be a small bribe.”

There it is.

“A bribe for what?” You ask, expecting his to ask you to keep quiet about his call.

“I want you to be my artist, anytime I want a tattoo, I want you doing it for me.” He says, smiling down at you with a hint of…something him his eye.

“Really?” You ask in shock, not expecting that from him.

“Yeah, like I said earlier, you got talent. I want more of you on me.” Bucky says smirking at the euphemism he made.

Fuck me running.

“Oh..shit.. yeah ok, that sounds..,” you swallow heavily, “sounds like a plan.” You smile up at him, trying to hide the way his words affected you.

He smiles back, stepping closer and closer until his chest is almost touching yours.

“Yes it’s does. You’re mine now doll,” he says, a dark look in his eye. You swallow hard again and your breath stutters at his words, eyes going straight to the floor. He notices your reaction and smirks, “my artist, I mean.” He continued.

“Although, judging by your little reaction there, I’d bet you be ok with that, wouldn’t you doll?” He says, his tone slightly mocking.

You say nothing.

He hums, then places his right hand on your cheek and tilts your head so you’re looking him in the eye again.

“Would you?” He asks softly.

“Maybe,” you whisper, a cocky smile breaking out on his face.

“Maybe, huh? ‘Mkay, guess I’ll just have to convince you then doll.” He says back, leaning closer, eyes going to your lips before he looks back up, giving you a chance to get out of the situation.

“Guess so.” You respond, some confidence back in your voice.

He hums again, and then he’s kissing you. His kiss is forceful but somehow still gentle, like he’s holding back as much as he can.

Fucking finally you can’t help but think as you move your hand to his wrist, the other one going to his left bicep, the feel of the solid metal under your hand was new, but not unwelcome.

His metal hand moves, wrapping around your back and pulling you against him, deepening the kiss when you gasp.

Reluctantly, you break the kiss when you run out of air. He leans back, the pressure on your back relieving a bit.

“Damn doll, what the fuck are you doing to me?” He asks, biting his bottom lip.

“Something good, hopefully.” You respond cheekily.

He groans, leaning his head back. “Yeah hopefully darlin’. I hate to say it sweetheart but I gotta get going.” He says, releasing his hold on you. He moves towards the door and for a second you think he going to leave without another word, until he turns back and says “I’ll talk to you later doll, keep your phone on or I’ll drop by.” He finished his sentence with a wink, and then he’s gone, the bell on the door ringing behind him.

Fuucckk. Maybe I’ll break my phone so he has to come by. Who knew the fucking Winter Soldier was actually a gorgeous softie under it all.

————

A/N: Ta da! Finally complete!! Love everyone of you that read this, mwah 😘

I can’t tag anyone else on this post so I will tag the rest in a separate post.

Tags:

@sleepyghostygirl @starlightaurorab @scrynexxtins @where-the-river-bends @imagines-of-the-fandom @bigenargy @uraverageatiny @squeezyvalkyrie @mylifeispainandiloveit @mrvlxgrl @bopbeepboopbopbeep @yvessaintmuerte @thecubanator2 @flubblubbb @teambarnes72 @ria132love @pingpongfingfong @cashhvi @rivthejellyfish @mybakubaby @blue-chup @goatsmcgee @facinated-lemon @daddylorianisastateofmind @buckybarnesb-tch @yeahimcrying @shifting2places @fand0mskullfa1ry @1-800-bxrnes @amiets2 @aliabhatt19 @leabunny @justmarlen3 @bofadeezs @jehduxi @grey107th @king-of-spades-aroace @sebismyhubby @princezzjasmine @sebastianstanswhore @cluckityduck @shuriri4life @calwitch @goodkittyspost @iateall-yourcookies @miss-i-ship-it @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @anawhitethorn @radiator-hands @tripletstephaniescp

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #mob!bucky #mob!au #tattoo artist!reader

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justsomerandomfanfic · 27 days ago

Text

Voices From The Past - Bruce Wayne X Female Reader

Title: Voices From The Past

Bruce Wayne X Female Reader

(Can be seen as any iteration of Bruce Wayne, however the Batcave is from The Dark Knight).

Additional Characters: Reader's mother, Reader's father (Mentioned), Reader's Step-Mom (Mentioned), and Alfred (Mentioned)

WC: 4,108

Warnings: Crying, family issues/parent abandonment mentioned, Reader is mentioned to have a mother and father, italics, divorce hinted to, infidelity by Reader's mother mentioned, mentions of marriage, nicknames, Bruce is so wise, slight angst, and fluff

You never thought this day would come. Your phone shook in your shaking hands. Tears burned the backs of your eyes before rolling down your cheeks in waves. You stared at the blackened screen, unblinking, shocked, upset, overwhelmed… Too many emotions to fully process properly.

Your mother called. Well, you didn't call her your mother. Technically, yes, she is your birth mother, who birthed you, but she wasn't your mom. Your step-mother was more of a mother than she was. Overall, it was complicated.

Now, the thing was, your mother never called. The day she walked out on you and your father was the last day you had ever seen or heard from her. And that was fifteen years ago.

You had very vague memories of your time and life with her before she left; a time at the local community pool, that one time she taught you how to bake cherry pie, and when she would tuck you in at night. One memory though, that somewhat haunted you at the worst of times, was when she would sing “You Are My Sunshine” to you. You hadn’t listened to that song since she left, it always reminded you too much of her. You hated being reminded of her.

After she left though, walking out on you and your father, it was like she had taken the bright sun with her. For a long time, you didn’t understand why she left or what you had done wrong. For a long time, you thought that you were the reason why she left. Were you not good enough? Were you not a good kid? What did you do to make her hate you that she left?

You tried not to dwell on it, tried to be strong for your dad, who did his best to fill the gaping void she left behind. Your step-mother came into your life years later, a balm to your wounded family, and you slowly started to heal. But the scars remained, faint yet unforgotten.

And now, fifteen years later, that woman had the audacity to call you out of nowhere. How she got your number, you didn’t know. You didn’t really care. Her voice on the other end of the line was hesitant, almost trembling, like she wasn’t sure if you’d even answer. It was awkward, insanely so, and you wished that you had never answered the unknown number.

Her voice faltered as she spoke, a tentative edge threading through every word. “Hi, honey. It’s me,” She began, and for a split moment, you didn’t recognize the sound of her voice, but then it hit you like a tsunami and your eyes widened. It had been fifteen years after all, so it only made sense that you wouldn’t recognize her voice at first or at all. She paused. And it was long, heavy, and suffocating. She was waiting for you to say something. You didn’t. “I… I just wanted to see how you’ve been,” She continued, tone awkward, as if she didn’t know where to start or how much ground there was to cover.

The words hit you, and you fought the urge to hang up right then. “How have I been?” You asked yourself, scoffing mentally.

“I know this is unexpected,” She continued, the slight tremor in her voice betraying her nerves. “I just… I think about you all the time. Wondering how you are doing, where you are. I- I never forgot about you.”

“Okay,” You finally spoke, your voice low, and tone tense. What could you even say to that?

She let out a breath when you spoke finally, “Are you still in the same town?” She asked, her voice continuing to be cautious, “Or… Did you move? I always wondered if you stayed close to home or if you went somewhere else.” There was a painful irony in her words, like she was trying to piece together a puzzle she had willingly walked away from. The puzzle had long been put away, there was nothing to solve. She didn’t know where you were, what you did, or who you had become. “You must be doing well,” She added, trying to sound hopeful, “You were always a smart kid.” You pursed your lips at her words, “What… What have you been up to? Are you working? Married? Kids?”

Her questions came in rapid succession now, but the questions only grated on your nerves, reopening old wounds that you thought had long since scabbed over. She wanted to know everything, it seemed, about the life she had no part in. And all you wanted to know was why she thought she had the right to ask.

You swallowed thickly, feeling tears burn your eyes, but you held them in. Clearing your throat, you finally forced yourself to respond, though your tone was far from warm. Each word felt like it was being dragged out of you. “I moved,” You said shortly, not meeting her invisible gaze through the phone. “To Gotham.”

There was a pause on her end, a brief silence before she spoke again, her voice tinged with surprise. “Gotham? Wow, that’s... That’s far. I never would’ve guessed.”

You ignored the attempt at small talk. “Yeah,” You said curtly, hoping she’d drop the subject - and the call altogether - but of course, she didn’t do either.

“What do you do there? Are you working?”

You clenched your jaw. “I used to,” You replied, keeping it vague. You didn’t owe her the specifics, didn’t owe her anything, really.

Another pause, “Oh, I see. Well, that’s okay. Things happen, right?” She said awkwardly, trying to fill the silence. “There will always be another opportunity.”

You inhaled sharply, her assuming you lost whatever job you had irritated you, and you debated whether or not to answer her next question. The thought of sharing this part of your life with her felt wrong, like exposing something sacred to someone who hadn’t earned the right to know.

“I’m married,” You said reluctantly, your voice stiff and clipped.

Her reaction was immediate, a soft gasp slipping from her lips. “Oh... Oh, wow. Married? That’s-”

“Yeah,” You interrupted, not wanting to hear her feigned excitement or whatever platitudes she had ready. “It happened a while ago.”

Your tone remained distant, each answer another brick in the wall you were determined to keep between you. She might have been your birth mother, but she wasn’t part of your life, and you weren’t about to let her waltz back in like she had any claim to it. Not unless she said or did something worthy enough for your forgiveness.

A flicker of surprise crossed your mind, though, as you realized she hadn’t even heard about your engagement years prior. It had been highly publicized at the time. Then again, she didn’t live in Gotham, and Gotham’s news rarely traveled far beyond the shadow of Metropolis. And you doubted that she was living there.

You shifted on the couch, unable to sit still, your free hand fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve. Every second stretched uncomfortably long as you tried to decide whether to end the call or endure it.

“So... What’s Gotham like?” She asked, her attempt at casual conversation landing awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” You replied shortly, your tone clipped. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, your fingers trembling slightly.

“Fine?” She echoed, a nervous laugh in her voice. “I hear it can be a bit... Rough, you know, with everything that goes on there. The crime-rate.”

“It has its moments,” You muttered, glancing at the clock. Time wasn’t moving fast enough.

She hesitated, clearly grasping for something else to say. “And your... Your partner?” She asked cautiously. “What’s he like? Or she?”

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. “He’s great,” You said stiffly, leaving it at that. You didn’t elaborate, didn’t offer details. This wasn’t her business.

“That’s good,” She said quickly, “I’m glad you found someone.”

You could feel your stomach twisting as she spoke. Her words were polite enough, but they carried an undercurrent of something you couldn’t quite name - guilt, maybe, or regret. You could only hope. Your grip on the phone tightened, and you shifted again, crossing and uncrossing your legs in an attempt to release some of the tension building in your chest.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” She added after another long pause, her voice quieter now.

You bit your lip, “I’m fine,” You said, the words sharper than you intended.

“I just...” She trailed off, sighing softly. “I wanted to hear your voice again. To know how you’re doing. It’s been… It’s been a while…”

Your throat constricted, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep your emotions in check. You were twisting the hem of your sleeve now, nearly tearing the fabric, your leg bouncing restlessly.

“Well, now you know,” You said bluntly, your voice colder than you meant for it to be.

She was silent for a moment, and the weight of the silence was suffocating. You glanced at the screen, half-hoping the call would drop, giving you an excuse to end it.

“I’ve missed you,” She said finally, her voice breaking slightly. You closed your eyes, exhaling shakily. Your fingers hovered over the “end call” button, and for a moment, you considered pressing it. But something - curiosity, obligation, or maybe just the tiniest trace of unresolved pain - kept you on the line. “And- and I love you. I’ve always loved you,” She added, her voice trembling. The words hit you like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from your lungs. You stared blankly at the floor, your mind spinning. Your chest tightened painfully, her words stirring emotions you didn’t want to acknowledge.

You didn’t respond, didn’t even trust yourself to speak. “Yeah right. You sure have a funny way of showing it.” You thought. Silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating, until she filled it once more.

“I love you,” She repeated, her voice softer, almost pleading. It was as if she were hoping that, this time, you’d say it back. When you didn’t, she sighed, the sound tinged with resignation. “Well... You have my number now,” She said quietly. “I hope... I hope you’ll call me or text me sometime.”

“Okay,” You murmured.

There was a pause, and you could hear the sadness in her voice when she said, “Take care of yourself, honey.”

The line went dead with a soft click, and you were left staring at the blackened screen of your phone, your hands still trembling. For a moment, you were frozen, the weight of the conversation pressing down on you like a lead blanket.

Then, the tears came, hot and uncontrollable. They streaked down your face, dripping onto your legs as your shoulders began to shake. A strangled sob escaped your throat, and before you knew it, you were doubling over, clutching the phone tightly in both hands.

Your chest heaved as you gasped for air between sobs, the dam of emotions you’d held back for years finally breaking. You curled into yourself, hugging your knees to your chest as you rocked slightly on the couch, tears streaming endlessly. The sound of your own cries filled the room, raw and unfiltered.

The phone slipped from your grasp and landed on the cushion beside you, forgotten as you buried your face in your hands. It felt like the world had been turned upside down, and all you could do was let the storm of grief, confusion, and anger wash over you.

You didn’t know how long you laid there, your sobs slowly slipping into silence. The tears had long since dried on your cheeks, leaving a salty, tight feeling on your skin. You stared blankly at the wall in front of you, unmoving, your mind overrun with thoughts and emotions. It was as though you were suspended in a void, caught between the past and the present, wishing - oh, god, did you wish - that you had never answered your phone.

You weren’t okay - far from it - but eventually, you felt stable enough to move. Sluggishly, you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Your arms felt leaden as you reached up to rub your warm cheeks, your fingers trembling slightly as you tried to compose yourself.

A shaky sigh escaped your lips. Your head fell forward, your elbows resting on your knees as you stared down at the floor. The weight of all of her words lingered, pressing down on you.

Rising, you sniffled, dragging your socked feet along the cool hardwood floors as you drifted through the living room and down the hall. The dim light of the setting sun filtered through the heavy curtains, casting long shadows against the walls. Usually, you would take the time to admire the sunset, but tonight, you didn’t want to. You continued to wander, slipping past the kitchen and the library.

Your steps faltered momentarily as you approached the grand piano in the corner of the study. Its polished surface gleamed faintly in the dim light. For a moment, you hesitated, your fingers hovering over the cool ivory keys, before pressing a specific sequence - notes that resonated softly through the quiet room.

A faint mechanical click broke the silence as the hidden mechanism activated, part of the bookshelf behind you gliding aside to reveal a concealed elevator. You stepped inside, the doors closing behind you with a quiet hiss. As the elevator descended, the air grew cooler, carrying the faint earthy scent of stone.

The elevator doors opened, the Batcave sprawled before you in all its dark glory. Gleaming metal and stark lighting illuminated the space, reflecting off the walls of jagged rock and smooth concrete. The massive expanse felt both imposing and oddly comforting. The sound of trickling water echoed from the waterfalls and their pools, mingling with the low hum of machinery and the occasional beep of system.

You walked along the narrow bridge that stretched over one of the cave’s pools, the platform ahead glowing faintly from the illumination of the LED lights hanging above. The faint chill of the air seeped through your clothes as your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, seeking warmth.

You lingered a moment longer, your heart tightening as you watched him, his broad shoulders bathed in the soft glow of the monitors. Even in the depths of his focus, there was a quiet compassion about him, a gentleness that softened the unyielding strength he carried. Bruce was your rock, the calm in every storm, and a love so steady, so unwavering, it felt like something you’d only dreamed could be real.

You moved closer, standing beside his chair, the soft glow of the screen illuminating his sharp features. The strong line of his jaw, the way strands of his hair fell over his forehead a bit, the way his lips pressed together in concentration - it was impossible not to love every detail of him.

Bruce was the kind of man who bore the weight of the world without faltering, always making space to carry you through your own storms. He was unwaveringly selfless, fiercely protective, and gave every piece of himself even when he had little left to offer. And, of course, he was devastatingly handsome. Those piercing blue eyes, the unruly dark hair, and a sculpted frame that seemed carved from marble itself. But it was the way he loved you, so completely and unconditionally, that left you breathless every time.

You glanced down at him, your fingers gently grazing the back of his chair. Even without meeting your gaze, you knew he sensed your presence - he always did. Time and again, you found yourself seeking him out, whether you had something to share or simply craved the comfort of being near him.

Without a word, your hand slowly lifted, your fingers grazing through his hair, the strands soft beneath your touch. The simple act brought an immediate sense of calm, as it always did. There was something soothing about the way his hair slipped between your fingers. But the pull of him was too strong. With a soft sigh, you moved around to his side. wordlessly, you lifted one of his arms, sliding into his lap with a gentle movement. Your legs draped over the sides of his chair, your body settling close to his.

Bruce’s hand instinctively rested on your back, fingers splayed across your - his - nightshirt. His other hand, still hovering over the keyboard, stilled for a moment, his muscles relaxing. He didn’t need to say anything - his quiet presence, the warmth of his touch, was really all you needed.

You buried your face in his neck, your cold nose pressing against his warm skin, inhaling his familiar scent. Wrapping your arms around him, you let your fingers slip underneath his shirt, trying to get as much skin-to-skin contact as you could. The warmth of his skin against yours was like coming home, and you let out a soft sigh of relief, closing your eyes as you melted into him. Bruce shifted slightly, his arm tightening around you as he leaned his head against yours.

For the next couple of minutes, neither of you said a word. Bruce didn’t ask if you were alright; he knew better than that. He knew something was wrong. But he would never rush you, and never push you to speak before you were ready. He just held you, patient as always, waiting for you to open up.

You took a deep breath, the weight of everything still pressing heavily on your chest. Finally, your voice broke the silence, soft, hesitant, muffled. “My mother called me.” Your fingers continued to softly trace the contours of his skin, brushing over the faint scars that lay hidden beneath his shirt. The words felt like a stone in your throat, hard to let out but impossible to keep inside for much longer. You needed to vent.

Bruce’s hand, which had been rubbing soothing circles on your own back, paused. You could feel his body shift slightly, his focus entirely on you. “What did she want?” He continued his gentle movements.

You bit your lip, a shaky breath escaping as you finally answered, “She wanted to catch up. After all these years… She wanted to know what I was doing, if I was married, if I had kids…” Your arms around Bruce’s mid-section tightened. “Waltzing back into my life like nothing happened.” The dam inside you broke. You could feel your tears starting to fall, “She just left. She left us - me and dad. Without any explanation. No goodbye. Nothing. And now she thinks she can just pick up the phone like nothing’s wrong? Like everything’s fine?” You shook your head, the bitterness, pain, and confusion flooding your words. “It hurts, Bruce. It hurts so much, and I never was told why, just… Nothing. No answers, no apology.”

As your words began to fade, Bruce’s hand gently tapped your back, signaling for you to sit up. You huffed sadly, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand, feeling exhausted.

Bruce’s eyes softened with understanding. “You’ve never told me about your mother before.”

You shrugged slightly, feeling your heart twist as you dropped your eyes to your hands in your lap. “She was never really in my life.” You hesitated for a moment, but the warmth of Bruce’s touch, his understanding presence, made it easier to continue. You looked back up at him then, meeting his gaze. His eyes were steady, filled with patience and care, and it made everything seem just a little more bearable. “When I was ten, she just… Up and left. She just walked away from me and dad without a word, well, at least to me.” Your voice wavered, thick with emotion. “It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that dad finally told me she left him for another man. She never even tried to explain it to me. I was just… Left behind. And replaced… That guy she left us for had another daughter around my age…”

Bruce’s hand found yours, threading his fingers through yours gently so you would stop picking at your skin, along with to support you. “It hurt so much,” You added quietly, wiping your eyes again with your free hand. “Not just mentally, but emotionally. And then she calls me, after all this time, and it just… It opened the wound again. I thought it had healed, but it’s still there.”

Bruce’s hand squeezed yours, his thumb brushing over the back of your knuckles. “I’m so sorry you went through that,” He murmured, his free hand brushing your hair back from your eyes before cupping your cheek. “You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve any of it.” You tilted your head into his palm, nuzzling closer, covering his hand with yours, grateful for his unwavering support, for his gentle affection that surrounded you like a shield. “And you’re not alone,” He whispered, his voice filled with a quiet strength that anchored you. “You have your dad, your step-mom, and of course, you have Alfred. And I’m here. I will always be here for you.” He then lifted your hand, his eyes never breaking contact with yours. His thumb ran over the wedding ring, a soft smile forming on his lips. “To death do us part, remember?” He said lovingly, reassuringly, before pressing a gentle kiss to the space above the ring on your hand.

You let out a breathy mix of a sigh and a chuckle, smiling as you repeated his words, “To death do us part.” Your heart swelled, feeling the warmth of his love, and you knew, deep down, he was right. You weren't alone, not now, not ever. Your heart swelled with gratitude, with love, the tears slowly drying up. Bruce wasn’t just your husband; he was your home. And in his arms, you finally felt like you could breathe again. "Thank you, Brucie," You slowly, “But, I don’t know what to do now." You admitted, the words spilling out before you could stop them. "I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t even know if I should call her... Or if I should let her in again."

"It’s all your choice, sweetheart," He said, his voice unwavering. "You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for." You let out a shaky breath, leaning back into him, finding comfort in the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear. "Just because she called, trying to reconnect, doesn’t mean you have to call her tomorrow or even a week from now." He continued, "It could be three years from now, or six months. Whenever you feel ready. Or you don’t ever have to call her." The reassurance in his voice eased some of the tightness in your chest, the pressure to make a decision immediately slipping away. "You’ll know when you’re ready," Bruce added, "And no matter what you decide, I’m here for you."

You closed your eyes, taking in his words, letting the warmth of his embrace comfort you. For once, the world didn’t feel as heavy. “If I call her, will you be there with me?”

"Of course," Bruce said, "I'll be right beside you, every step of the way. Whatever you need, I’m here. If you decide to reach out to her, I’ll be there with you." He then cupped the back of your head, his thumb brushing softly upon your hair. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment as he then nuzzled his nose into your hairline. He pulled back just enough to glance at the clock on his monitors. His eyes softened as he looked back at you, his voice gentle but filled with determination. "I’m staying home from patrol tonight," He said, "We can order your favorite take-out, watch one of our movies." His expression was thoughtful, and you could tell that he was making sure everything would be exactly how you needed it to be. Trying to make the rest of the night as comforting and fun as possible. “I’ll even see if Alfred would mind making cookies.”

You sat up slowly, wiping away any lingering tears as a small smile tugged at your lips. The idea of a quiet night with him, no worries or demands, was exactly what you needed. "Can we cuddle?"

Bruce's lips quirked upward and without a word, he moved to pull you closer, his arms wrapping around you. "Of course, my love," He whispered, his voice deep and soothing. "Anything for you."

~~~

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months ago

Text

Chapter 21: Try to Understand

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: I'm gonna go 18+, I'm not sure that it needs it, but I'm still gonna do it. Angst, Talks of pregnancy, Talks of possible abortion, Cursing, Fluff, Sexual References, Graphic Nightmare?, FLUFF, Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situations, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

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Masterlist

Soldier Boy POV

After his shower, you still haven't come back from talking to Rosemary, and Ben decides that instead of eavesdropping on your conversation, he's going to go to the kitchen and get a drink. He knows exactly where Legend hides the good shit, mostly because Legend hid it to keep it away from Ben in the first place. And despite it happening forty years ago, nothing in Legend's house had changed. Ben had many memories of this house, at least two Herogasms had been hosted here, hell, Ben had memories in the room you two were sharing, but he kept them to himself.

The last thing he wanted was for you to think about any of the things that happened in the past, not when you had told him that he had made it up to you, not when you had held him close after all these years and whispered things to him that he always wanted you to say, and not when he was more happy than he'd ever been.

You said that you forgave him, Ben understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to stop making it up to you every day and it didn't mean that he was going to stop making you happy, because after all these years you were still the only thing he wanted, and he refused to lose you ever again.

He glances at the empty bottle on the nightstand, the one that you brought with you last night and the same bottle the two of you finished together.

He was surprised when you said you stopped drinking, but not completely. You'd only drunk socially as a supe, and Ben hadn't seen you drunk since the two of you were kids. He knew it was because you didn't want to lose control like he did.

Ben stutters on the memory of what happened in Mid-town, and what happened forty years ago when he threw a car through a house and killed an innocent bystander. Ben didn't believe he was a bad guy, he was a hero or- the memories of all the moments he lost control began to seep though the cracks- at least he thought he was.

His mind drifts back to you. You were always in control. The one time he'd ever seen you lose control was when you lost it at the premiere all those years ago. It was justified. Ben would have lost it too if he walked in on anyone fucking you. His jaw clenches at the thought, but then he remembers what you said last night, that there hadn't been anyone else, that you never wanted anyone else but him ever. It was surprising to him, that you hadn't moved on, even after all this time you still loved him the same way you always had and that there would never be anyone else.

Fuck. Ben took in a deep breath to avoid getting too excited remembering what you said, feeling warmth begin to build in his abdomen. It had been difficult to contain himself when you admitted that to him. If you had let him, he would have made love to you right then, made you feel things that no other man ever did, but you said you wanted to wait.

And Ben wanted to respect that, wanted to respect you.

He examines the empty bottle once more.

When you were younger he'd watch you get drunk on cheap beer that he bought you more than once, usually when you proclaimed that you could drink him under the table and then Ben had to practically corral you to get you home. Then again he liked those nights, when you'd try to sing, swing from light poles that lined the street, and you'd grab his hand and say crazy things like "let's run away" or "let's go egg Missy Callahan's house." Both of which Ben didn't need much more convincing to say yes, but the two of you never did.

He would have run away with you if you'd ever seriously asked him to, he would have dropped everything to leave, would have chosen you just as you chose him the night he showed up and asked you to go with him to get the serum. The promise he made to protect you and be strong for you the night you went with him was not new. He had repeated it to himself every day since the minute he realized how much you meant to him.

And he would continue to do it for the rest of his life.

Ben ascends the stairs, buttoning the Giants jersey that Butcher bought for him. He wasn't the biggest fan of them forty years ago, but it was one of the only shirts he had. And the last thing he wanted to do was walk around without a shirt on. Ben smiles to himself remembering your reaction when you walked in on him changing into his supe suit yesterday morning. He loved that you reacted to him that way, it was the same way that he reacted to seeing you yesterday when you were standing in your bathroom in only your bra, looking just as beautiful as you had forty years ago when he took you to bed and-

Fuck. Ben took in another deep breath finishing the last button to avoid thinking about you naked. It had been forty years for him and he knew that he was going to have to take it slow when it came to sex.

He stumbled into the kitchen and froze.

Lou was sitting at the square kitchen table that sat under a floor length window and looked out onto the sprawling backyard of Legend's property. Ben could see Rosemary and you talking at the very edge of where the grass met the thick woods beyond.

"Hi Ben!" Lou smiles wide at him. A giant box of crayons sits on the table just beyond her filled with every color known to man, while she scribbles in a sketchbook that looks suspiciously like the same ones that Ben had seen you buy for yourself in the past. "Do you know how to draw trees? Aunty y/n always does them for me, but she's talking to mommy."

"Um-" Ben clears his throat, fastening the last button of his shirt. Lou was smiling at him the same way you did, like she was genuinely happy that he was there, and he wasn't used to that. It was the same way you used to smile at him when he climbed through your bedroom window. He looks out the window to where you're still talking to Rosemary trying to find a way out, until finally he sighs. "No. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, mommy can't draw either." Lou looks back at her drawing while reaching for a brown crayon. She was wearing pink polka dot pajamas, pants and a shirt that matched. Ben had never seen pajamas like that before, but he supposed that pink was her favorite color, given that she was also wearing a pair of bright pink fuzzy slippers.

He couldn’t help but smile. He wondered if you hated how much Lou liked pink, if it reminded of those dresses your mother used to make you wear that always made you look like a giant iced birthday cake.

Personally, Ben didn’t think you looked that ridiculous, he thought that you looked cute, ruffly, but cute. You never believed him when he told you that.

Ben wandered over to the cabinet where he thought the whiskey was, but as soon as he opened it, he found the cabinet empty.

Did he fucking move it?

"It's under the sink." Lou said from behind him.

"What?" Ben turns around surprised.

Lou was still scribbling with her crayon in her sketchpad. "Uncle Legend came in and moved it this morning."

"Thanks." Ben awkwardly makes his way over to the sink, and sure enough behind the mop bucket is a full bottle of whiskey. He busies himself with pouring a glass before he eyes the chair next to Lou wondering if he should sit there.

Ben was nervous, he'd never admit it, but he was. This was his granddaughter, someone that you loved very much. He'd never been around a kid before, didn't have any siblings growing up, and certainly didn't have any relatives with children the way you had.

He liked to think that if he had been there when you were pregnant and when you gave birth to Rosemary he would have gotten used to it gradually. He wasn't sure if he could even be a dad, not after everything that happened with his own.

He was sure that he was going to be a disappointment to Rosemary and even to Lou and-

"Sit with me." Lou says, interrupting his train of thought as she gets off of her chair to pull out the one next to her for Ben tugging with all her strength to pull it out from under the table.

Ben hesitates, but finally smiles at her efforts to get him to sit with her and sits down.

An awkward silence falls over him, he's again unsure what to say, so he takes a sip from his glass and hopes that you'll come in and save him from saying the wrong thing, but given how upset you look standing outside with Rosemary, he's sure that it won't be anytime soon. The urge to go outside and get between Rosemary and you is strong, but just as he begins to move to get out of the chair, Lou interrupts him.

"You make her smile more." Lou says, while grabbing a red crayon with her chubby hand and begins to draw the petals of a flower in her sketchbook, meticulously trying to make them more circular, tongue between her teeth as she concentrates.

"Who?"

"Aunty y/n. She didn't smile as much before." She says it matter of factly.

"Really?"

Lou nods reaching into the box of crayons for a new color. "She tried to act like she wasn't sad, but I think she was. Sometimes when she thought I was asleep I would find her on the couch just sitting there. I think she was lonely. And I tried to give her bigger hugs but they never seem to work. Hugs always make me feel better." Lou sighs.

"I'm sure that your hugs made her feel better." Ben's says tightly. He's not sure how to talk to Lou, isn't sure if he should talk to her like an adult or not.

"I love aunty y/n. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to be an artist!"

Ben looks down at the sketchpad on the table beneath Lou’s hands. It was of a giant tree that had different colored flowers all squished together in its branches. Each flower was different than the last, crudely drawn, but under it all Ben could see her potential. It reminded him of the sketchbook pages you first showed him when you were eight and swore him to secrecy, threatening bodily harm if you told anyone else about them.

“You’re very good.” Ben says and Lou beams with pride at her drawing, before flipping to a new page. She holds out a brilliant yellow crayon towards Ben. “Please draw a sun right here.” She taps her finger against the top left of the page before placing the crayon in his hand.

“Oh I don’t think I-“

“You can do it Ben! Aunty y/n says that art doesn’t have to be perfect, that it gets messy sometimes but that makes it fun!” Rosie reaches for a purple crayon and begins to draw stick figures to the right of the page.

Ben had heard you say that before, usually after your mother would sneer or make a comment about your paint stained hands when he’d bring you home from a day at the park. But sitting here listening to Lou say it was different.

Lou reminded him of you as a kid. She wasn't afraid to speak up, to say what she thought, and she was filled with creativity and love.

Ben always admired that about you, that you were able to create things so perfectly and that you always made space in your heart for him, even when he was a complete dick for so long. He wondered if Rosemary was like you too. He could see a bit of it when she told him off, saw how headstrong she was and how ready she was to protect who she loved from him.

Ben hated that Rosemary believed that he would hurt you again, when it all but tore his own heart out to do so the last time.

But he was trying, hoped that she could see that he was trying and hoped that one day she’d let him in. The problem was he wasn’t the most patient person in the world.

He looks down at the crayon in his hand frowning slightly. He wasn’t an artist like you. The only thing that he’d really ever drawn was the naughty doodle that got him kicked out of boarding school, the one that made you laugh so hard you pushed him off the bed when he drew it for you in your sketchbook. You’d tried to show him other ways of drawing and painting but he’d never been interested.

Not to mention he didn’t think it was manly. He didn’t think that a man should have a hobby like this. It should be fishing or hunting or something like that but he looks down at Lou.

Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, smile wide, dimples showing and he doesn’t want to disappoint her, not when she’s been nothing but nice to him since he showed up.

If Hughie or fucking Butcher come in here and see me drawing this fucking sun I’ll-

“You don’t look like your pictures.” Lou hums drawing a smile on the face of the stick figure.

“Huh?” Ben looks up confused.

“The pictures that mommy keeps in the drawer.” Lou says reaching for a black crayon to draw long flowing hair on the stick figure.

“What pictures?”

“Of you and aunty y/n. Mommy has some in her drawer.” Lou acts as if she hadn’t said anything, grabbing a different crayon to draw another stick figure.

“She has pictures of us?”

“Yeah. You don’t have the beard though. And you and aunty y/n are really young.” She pokes his cheek with a chubby finger, making Ben freeze. Lou squints her eyes at him. “You don’t look like the picture that aunty y/n drew either.”

Ben hesitates, eyes slightly widening. “She drew a picture of me?”

“Few days ago.” Lou scribbles. “You didn’t have a beard then either.”

In the new drawings and paintings that Ben had seen back at your apartment, he hadn’t seen any drawings of him, he assumed it was because of everything that happened, but to learn that you did still draw him made him smile.

“You don't like it?” Ben asks, amused.

She shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“Aunt y/n likes it.” He said it more to himself than to Lou. Like hell he was going to shave it off when he saw how much you liked it when he came back. Ben smiles to himself remembering how your heart beat jolted out of your chest whenever he touched you, how your cheeks flushed, how your smooth skin felt beneath his hands-

There were so many little things that Ben missed about you, so many things that he had forgotten, and now he got to learn each one all over again and fall in love with every part of you for the second time in his life.

The sun he drew in the top left of the page was lopsided, but Lou didn't complain, in fact she added a pair of sunglasses to it, and a bright smile that Ben laughed at.

"What are you two doing?" Ben hears your voice say as your hand gently rubs his back. Ben looks up embarrassed. He hadn't wanted to get caught with a crayon in his hand, but at least it had been you and not Butcher.

"We were just-" Ben begins to say, his eyes flicking to where Rosemary stands behind Lou eyes narrowed.

"Mommy look. Ben is helping me color!" Lou crows, picking up her drawing so Rosemary can see.

Ben realizes what Lou was drawing on the other side of the page. Lou has drawn Rosemary and you standing with Lou in between the two of you holding on to her hands. Ben's eyes slide to the last figure in the drawing, his chest suddenly very tight, it's him, standing beside you, frowning, but holding on to your hand.

Rosemary smiles tightly at the page with a sigh. "That's nice sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed."

"But I like my pajamas."

"Do what your mother says Lou." You smile down at her, stroking her dark hair back from her face.

"Okay." She sighs dramatically and begins to walk out of the room, but Rosemary is still glaring at Ben.

"Rose-" You begin to say, but she interrupts you.

"She might be able to forgive you, but I'm not going to." Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you're good for her."

Ben is still sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, your hand solidly on his back as if you were making the statement that you weren't going to push him away. It solidified something, showed him how much you were willing to sacrifice to keep him in your life, and again enforced just how much you loved him. If Rosemary hadn't been standing there, he would have sat you on the marble countertop and sucked another mark into your neck. The one he left yesterday was already starting to fade and he wanted to replace it as soon as possible.

But he was still angry, angry that Rosemary wouldn't give him a chance. "Your mother means everything to me." Ben says honestly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. All I'm asking is that you get to know me first before you-"

"I don't want to get to know you." Rosemary says. "And if you hurt my mother again, I’ll make you wish that you stayed in that fucking lab."

She's gone in an instant, making Ben feel a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt since he spoke to his own father decades ago, on those nights when his dad got so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight and the nights that his father's words rang heavy in Ben's ears. Those nights Ben would get drunk, climb up the tree outside your window, and stumble into your bed, curling into you because you were the only thing in his life that he couldn't stand to lose, couldn't stand to disappoint, and the only thing in his shitty life that made him happy.

"Ben-" He hears you say.

"Mhmm?"

"Look at me."

Ben looks up. He doesn't like the worry in your gaze, doesn't like how your own eyes are just a little rimmed red like you were crying.

"I love you." You whisper. "And she's not going to change that."

"Are you sure?" He barely breathes the words, afraid in his soul to admit them to you, to speak them into the universe.

You drop into his lap, putting your forearms on his shoulders.

"Ben." You drag your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing his anxiety. "You know me enough to know that I don't pull punches. If I didn't want you here, I would make sure you weren't." You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "I want you here with me. I don't want you to go ever again. "

They were the words that he wanted you to tell him on the nights he crawled through your bedroom window, the question that he was always afraid to ask. Because he never believed that you could want him even a fraction as much as he wanted you, could love him and want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with you. And yet here you were after all these years after all the shitty things he did accepting him and letting him into your heart.

“Okay.” He leans his forehead against yours for a minute. “What did you talk about?”

“Homelander. And what happened yesterday.” You sigh. “She’s about as thrilled as I thought she’d be with us going after our old team. She was pissed when I told her about Countess the other day but this was worse.” You mutter holding on tight to him. “She’ll get over it. At least… I hope she will.”

“Mhmm.”

“I will say that I’m kind of jealous.”

“About?” Ben is suddenly worried.

What did I do? Did I-

“Every time I tried to get you to draw with me you said no.” Ben watches you frown dramatically. “And here you are with another woman-“

Ben rolls his eyes and shuts you up by closing the distance between your faces. You laugh into his mouth, his tongue finding the rigid edge of your front teeth as you do before you fit your mouth against his and kiss him, your soft lips molding against his in a way that makes a deep seated groan vibrate up through his chest.

“You try saying no to her.” Ben mutters.

“It’s impossible.” You open your eyes to stare at him again, your gaze filled with more love than Ben had ever seen. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that before, none of the other women he’d had in his life had ever looked at him the way you did. And he never wanted you to stop. You looked at him like he was special, treasured, like he was something that you never wanted to stop looking at, like you saw every part of him and refused to turn away.

He'd only seen that once before. He had taken a woman out for drinks, you had been doing an interview that ran late and Ben was trying to pass the time, but at the bar he had seen an older couple sitting in a booth in the corner. Ben couldn't look away from them. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, the man's arm draped over the woman who leaned into him with a wide smile, her gray hair pushed back in an elegant twist, but she looked up at him with such reverence that Ben couldn't help but think of you. When he saw that he left the woman he came with there and went to your apartment, to wait until you got back. And when you had fallen asleep Ben had folded you into his arms and allowed himself to dream that one day you would look at him the same way.

And now years later here you were looking at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, the same way you looked at him the morning after your birthday when you told him you loved him.

"But I did tell you that once Lou drew you into the family portrait, you were in." You reach back to pick up the drawing holding it between the two of you so he can see Lou's hard work. "She really captured your frown." You snort, leaning your head against his shoulder while you look at the drawing.

"Shut up." Ben squeezes you, but he can't help but smile at the paper.

And deep down Ben started to believe you when you said that this was his family too, because sitting there with Lou he had felt just as at home as he had with you.

All he had to do was convince Rosemary.

[30 MINUTES AGO] READER POV

I can't believe that she walked in on us IN BED. She's already pissed about me having him here, but why did her finding us together feel like the equivalent of my mother walking in on Ben and me?

You follow behind Rosemary silently, trying not to think of how sad Ben looked when you left him. You would have wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up beside him and make him understand that no matter how much Rosemary wanted you to push him away, you weren't going to leave him.

You could see the fear flashing in his eyes, had seen it last night when he yelled at you. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you knew that Ben was still afraid that you would leave him. And knowing how much you meant to him made you love him even more.

It was a beautiful day. Legend's home was the only one within ten miles, his money well spent to keep himself secluded from the rest of the world. The large trees at the back of his home were tall and strong, their branches curling upward to the sun as if they wished to worship it.

The sunlight was warm on your shoulders, soaking through your t-shirt and sweat pants as you follow behind your daughter, who was obviously trying to get out of earshot of Ben's supe hearing. You didn't want to break it to her that you'd probably have to drive at least a mile away for Ben's hearing to get a little bit fuzzy.

Finally, just as you reach the crest of trees at the back of the lot she stops and turns back to face you.

She's frowning and waits a minute to begin. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I did-"

"No. You didn't tell me everything and I want to know exactly what happened and why you had to fight Homelander."

You bite the inside of your cheek.

There really wasn't an easy way to sugar coat it or really explain it in a way that Rosemary would understand without getting angry.

She almost went ballistic the other day when I told her that I killed Countess and that was a complete accident. Us going after the Twins was not. Us going after the twins was calculated.

"Okay. Before we talk about that, I want you to understand why-"

"Oh you mean why you and Ben-" She seethes his name. "Were going after your old team? The exact thing that you told me you weren't going to do when you came to tell me about Countess?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She leans back against one of the trees, still frowning. "Go on."

"Ben told me what happened in Nicaragua. What Countess said was true, she seduced him to make me angry." You hold up a hand. "And before you say that Ben said those things to me and did those things of his own free will. I know."

Rosemary still doesn't look pleased.

"They betrayed him in Nicaragua. They attacked him and gave him to the Russian military."

"But why?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. I think it's because Ben used to be wild and impulsive and-"

"Used to be?"

"Just listen." You sigh. "He spent forty years in Russia being tortured and experimented on. They put something in his chest-"

"What did they put in his chest?"

"It's like an energy beam." You were giving her the short version about what the beam really did, because you didn't think that now was the best time to say that it might turn supes human. "But that's why we went to see the Twins, because they betrayed him and when Homelander showed up I had to step in."

Rosemary pinches the bridge of her nose and you can tell that she's trying very hard to not get angry. "So let me get this straight, you went to see the Twins, AS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP REVENGE FANTASY?"

"Well-"

"No. My turn to talk." She holds up a finger like she's admonishing a toddler. "I can't believe that you can't see what's happening."

"See what?"

"You told me that things were different, that he'd changed but he hasn't! He's still the same angry dick! The only person that's changed is you!"

"What?"

"And you don't fucking see it!" Rosemary shouts. "You facing Homelander, you killing Countess, you going after your old team- it's all him! As soon as you got a whiff of Soldier Boy you started to slip back into the person that you were forty fucking years ago."

"That is ridiculous-"

"No it's not. And it's all him. He is the one making you throw the life away that you have made for yourself. He is the one making you use your powers again! He is the one making you go along with his ridiculous revenge plot-"

"Ben is not making me do anything!"

"He is-"

"You have no idea what that's like for people who say that they're your friends betray you. To have people who you thought trusted you give you up like that. They stabbed him in the back Rosie, and they sent him away to another country to be tortured. Do you have any idea what they did to him there? Our old team deserves everything that is coming to them."

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"I am still the same person I was. I am still me."

"No I don't think you are-"

Your jaw tightens. "Look, I understand that you're upset with this whole situation. With having to be here and with me letting Ben back into my life, but he is my family too."

She bristles when you say the word 'family.'

She has to understand that, to know that Ben is my family, is her family.

"Rosemary, do you have any idea what I would do for you if someone tried to hurt you or Lou the way they hurt Ben? What I would do to them for even trying?" You whisper it, but you can see her expression soften as she considers what you were saying. "You were angry with me because I was going to go to Russia alone. You wanted to protect me. And even all this stuff with Ben, you have been trying to protect me from him because you believe that he's going to hurt me again. How is this any different?"

“It is.”

“Why? Because he’s hurt me?” Your eyes lock with hers. “I’ve hurt you by letting him back in my life. Are you saying that now you wouldn’t protect me? That if I asked you to go with me to Russia right now you wouldn't do it.”

She stands there looking at you for a minute, letting what you've asked hang in the air between the two of you. And you know that deep down she understands the need to protect her family the same way you did.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. You depend so much on him and it's only been three days." She sighs. "Mom you were happy before-“

"No I wasn't." You mutter.

The memories of the last three days with Ben proved that. You hadn't realized just how in the hole you were until he walked back into your life. Until you felt how much you loved him and now understood how much he loved you. Waking up with him, falling asleep with him, spending time with him, seeing his smile, hearing him speak, and feeling him beside you all felt different. She was right, you did feel different. You felt lighter and warmer, like you'd mainlined sunshine, like everything else had been colorless until Ben walked back in.

You understood that now you may have tried to be happy, and you were with Rosemary and Lou, but not anywhere else. Being with Ben felt right.

Rosemary eyes you for a minute and then finally sighs. "I know."

"What?" You weren't expecting her to say that.

"He's been here only three days and you're-" She searches for the word reluctantly. "You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"My entire life I've watched you. I know you. You're my best friend. And I'm not saying that you haven't been happy, but with him you're a different person."

"You've already said that and it's not true. I'm still me-"

"Not about the supe shit." She shakes her head. "The way you look at him, the way you smile, the way whenever he shifts in another direction you do too like somehow you sensed it. And it scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because if he decides this is all too much and he leaves, I don't want to see the person you become when he does." She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "I kinda feel like I've seen that person the last thirty nine years."

"That's ridiculous-"

"You told me about before, told me how you were when he left, I didn't see it, I couldn't imagine it, but now seeing you with him, understanding just how much of a hold he has on your life, understanding how much you love and care for him- mom… I see that the life you made for us, you still weren't you. I'm not sure if you were really completely happy and now seeing you with him, I-"

You place your hands on her cheeks. "Rosie. What happened forty years ago is not your fault. I would not change a single second that I spent with you and Lou. I do not regret the life that I've made with you. I do not regret you. I want you to understand that. The things that happened between me and Ben, even though they were fucked up, does not mean that I don't love you."

"I know that." She whispers, but you're suddenly unsure.

You thought that you'd expressed that to Rosemary enough over the years, that you did not regret having her, that you wouldn't change that decision.

"Rosie please." You hug her, tears burning just behind your eyes. "You are not a mistake. I love you." You pull back to look at her green eyes, the same as Ben's. "And I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. Because maybe I wasn't happy with me, but I was when I was with you and Lou."

"Okay." She pulls back with a sigh.

"I just wish that you'd try to talk to work things out with Ben." You search her face. You told yourself that you weren't going to get involved, but you wanted her to like him. He was her father and he was going to be spending time with you.

"Look I don't want to hate him, and maybe I don't, but it's not your fault." Her expression hardens. "He shouldn't have shouted at you yesterday for that. You didn't make me hate him or make him the villain. It's not your fault." She repeats.

"Maybe it is. I told you all those things about him, I made you focus only on the bad, only on the things that happened towards the end-"

Rosemary takes your hand. "Mom you told me everything. I remember the good things. I remember what your friendship was like. I remember the stories you told me when I was a kid about Ben and you running around Philadelphia."

"Which ones?"

"When he was strong for you when you couldn't be. When he took care of you, when he took you places, when he supported your art. When he made sure that you were happy. I-" She pauses. "I haven't forgotten those."

"Then why-"

"Because they happened before. When Ben was still Ben and not Soldier Boy. I've seen every single film. Watched every interview, commercial, and even those stupid music videos." Rosemary shakes her head as if trying to rid herself of the image.

"You have?"

"Yes. And I saw the person he became."

You knew what that looked like. Ben really did go all out for the cameras when they were rolling, but when it was the two of you he was just him. And the past two days he had shown that person to you all over again, and you knew deep in your heart that you were trusting him again.

"I know that you don't believe me when I say this, but he really is different."

"Sure."

You sigh. You knew that she wouldn't believe you, that she was just so hell-bent on pushing him away that she wouldn't listen to you. But you knew deep down that he was different, and that he was trying. It was enough for you.

Ben was enough. And the fact that he was willing to throw away all the macho bullshit he had spouted in the past, that he was willing to try to change to be the boy you fell in love with, meant everything to you.

You knew that you had probably forgiven him too early, but you wanted to believe him, and you wanted him to be back in your life.

Rosemary echoes your sigh and looks back up towards the house, stamping her foot in frustration. "Did you at least kick his ass?"

"Who? Ben? I told you that I threw him-" You begin to say suddenly confused.

"No." The ends of her lips twitch into a smile. "Homelander."

You laugh. "Yeah. They don't really make heroes the same way these days."

"Good. He probably fucking liked it."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." You snort remembering the look he gave you when you threw him against the ground. "But it was kind of cathartic to throw him around. I feel a lot better. Maybe you should give it a try." You narrow your eyes at your daughter. "I mean Homelander not Ben."

Rosemary's lips pull into a mischievous smirk, looking more like Ben than she ever has. "I'll keep that in mind."

READER POV

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, heart racing to catch up as you tug your arms to get them free, but leather restraints hold them in place at your sides. A cold chill seeps up through the metal table you lay on though the thin paper gown that covers your body. Brilliant light from fluorescent square lights above blinds you. And even when you shut them tight the flash of red that stays behind burns through your iris.

Shadows move just on the edge of your vision and you strain your ears to hear them speak, to understand why you're here, why you're strapped to this table, but the only thing that remains is a garbled sound broken only by the rapid ding of a heart monitor.

Where am I? How did I-

A sharp pain deep inside of you makes your breath catch, an uncomfortable sensation between your legs. You try to kick out, but your legs are strapped down, pried apart and bent at the knee. Your pleas for release are slurred as if you've forgotten how to speak.

Someone brings their hand down over your mouth and you bite down, blood and flesh sticking between your teeth and the person strikes your face savagely.

The shadows that pass over where you lay on your back are impossible to bring faces to and their muffled conversations are just out of reach.

And when you open your mouth to scream everything goes black.

"Y/n!" You hear Ben shout as you come to, his hands on your shoulders shaking you from sleep, but you can't move, can't speak still stuck in whatever hell-scape that your mind designed. "Please Sweetheart." He's leaning down over you, eyes wide with fear and anxiety, eyebrows pulled together. "Wake up."

"Ben-" You croak, breath coming in gasps, eyes blinking to focus on him above you.

Ben breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling you up into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin.

"Ben." You say again, tears falling from your eyes sobs shaking your shoulders, breath coming in gasps as you cling to him, holding on to him so tight you think you hear his back crack.

“Shhh. It’s alright Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Ben murmurs into the top of your head, rubbing his hand down your spine.

It wasn’t the first time you’d had the nightmare, but it was the first time you’d had it in forty years. It had started a few years before Ben had been taken. You don’t know why, but you always assumed that it was stress of being a hero or your heartache over Ben refusing to see you as more than a friend, that finally you cracked. But you didn't know why that particular scenario. The only time that you'd seen something remotely similar was the day that you received your injection of Compound V and you figured maybe your mind created the dream to haunt you.

And now it’s back because I’m stressed about all this shit with Homelander.

You inhale the familiar scent of Ben’s cologne, tears soaking into the front of his black shirt, but it does little to calm your heartbeat. You sob again, arms wrapped around his neck holding him tighter to you as you shudder.

“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Ben says again. His hand trails gently down your spine up and down in a soothing motion to calm you down.

He’d comforted you before after the same nightmare, he knew exactly what you saw each time, but he also was confused as to why you saw it. In his arms you felt safe, as if no one else could touch you or pull you away. You wondered if Ben felt the same way when you held him.

“Shh.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, pushing back the strands of hair that clung to your sweaty forehead.

You shudder again, sweat sticking your shirt to your back, but your heartbeat begins to slow as you take in another breath.

“Same dream?” Ben whispers.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I haven’t had it since you were-“ You choke on the words again as the images from what you saw come back. The mumbled voices of the figures fading in and out of your ears.

“Did you ever figure out what it was?”

“No. I-“ You inhale. “I don’t know. I-“

Your body shakes again as you cling to Ben, trying to forget the dream that never seemed to go away. “I don’t know.”

READER POV

In the days that followed Butcher and Hughie looked for Mindstorm's last known location, and Rosemary tried to stay as far away from Ben as she could, which wasn't too far because she refused to leave Lou alone with him. And Lou kept wanting to do more and more with Ben.

But you didn't mind that, because it meant that Rosemary got to sit front row to Ben trying to get more comfortable around Lou.

And try he was. He sat with her each day while she drew after breakfast, watched you and her paint side by side on Legend's back porch, waited patiently while you braided Lou's hair back from her face, and even indulged her in the occasional game of Go Fish that Ben always seemed to lose. But he didn't mind or at least not that you could tell.

"I understand that you all have this kind of fucked up fantasy when you go after Mindstorm," Rosemary sighed leaning back on Legend's dark brown leather couch with a beer in her hand. "But I still don't see how this is going to help us with Homelander."

Butcher shrugs taking a sip from his own beer bottle, brooding in the chair across from her. Hughie mirrors the shrug and reaches for the last slice of pizza in the ornate glass coffee table in front of the couch.

You were sitting on the couch beside her, your legs folded up underneath you with a mug full of scotch clutched between your hands, while Ben stretched out beside you nursing his own glass of whiskey.

In all the years that you had known Legend, there never seemed to be a shortage of booze. Ben respected that.

Lou was sleeping soundly upstairs, you kept checking on her every few minutes with your supe hearing, but so far she hadn't woken up.

"Because those two wanted us to go after their old team first." Butcher gestures to Ben and you with his bottle.

"At least we don't have a hard-on for Homelander." Ben frowns. "Can't tell if you want me to kill him or if you want to fuck him."

"Ben-" You sigh.

You had tried not to think about Homelander over the past few days, but it was unavoidable. You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what it was like to fight him, what it was like to hold him by the throat and stare into his nearly black eyes.

He had been pissed. You knew that, but you hadn't expected to feel so weird when you looked at him. You remember his blonde hair, the sharp smell of hair dye, the strong cut of his jaw-

Your thumb rubs the side of the mug you're holding. There was something else about him though, something that you couldn't place, something that when you looked at him you felt that you had forgotten something. Something important that nagged and tugged at the back of your mind.

But what? I've seen him before, at least not in person, and definitely not that close. Only in those pathetic interviews on T.V, on those stupid energy drinks…

You think again about the grip you had on his throat, remember the angular planes of his face.

"That doesn't fucking help." Rosemary rolls her eyes and you look up at your daughter.

She really does act like Ben even if he wasn't around through her childhood.

You think to yourself, your eyes tracing her face, looking at the soft dusting of cinnamon colored freckles over her cheeks that she usually hid under makeup and the nose that always reminded you of your father.

You think about Homelander again. But what did I forget? What about him made me-

Your entire body freezes as you stare at Rosemary's face, the face that you'd looked at for the past forty years.

No. That's impossible-

You can't breathe, can't think. Something cold clamps over your heart the chill soaking into your bones like you've sunk into deep water. All other sounds in the room fade into a muddled haze as you sit there and stare at her, eyes widening, heartbeat beginning to thud loudly in your ears.

Oh. My. Fucking. G-

The mug shatters in your hand, glass and alcohol going everywhere, but you don't feel anything. Only the sense of dread, and the chill that spreads with the coming storm and the understanding of what it is you've forgotten.

And you hoped to God that you were wrong.

A/N: I'M BACK BABY! Honestly after a week off I am doing alot better. Thank you everyone for the love and support. I hope y'all liked this chapter. It's moving the story right on along and the next chapter is going to be BIG and BLOODY. But we'll make it through.

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist or if you are already apart of the taglist and it didn't notify you, please let me know! :)

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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 2 months ago

Text

A quiet neighborhood - Chapter 1

Pairing: Neighbor!Dave York x f!reader Words count: 5137 Rating: + 18, MDNI

Series Summary: In a quiet neighborhood where nothing exciting ever happens, your neighbor Dave is definitely a guy who catches your eye. What could he be hiding under his perfect exterior?

Chapter 1: We start to enter this neighborhood and the trouble begins 👀

Tags: POV second person, reader is female with female genitalia, wears dresses, has hair that can be tied up in a bun/ponytail, no other description is given, she doesn’t blush. smut, angst, kissing, dirty thoughts, infidelity, kinda Desperate Housewifes coded (uh, don’t judge, I love it), easter eggs in secondary character’s names (so you can have fun guessing which series/film they come from 👀), neighborhood dynamics, Carol, Molly and Alice are there. Mention of food, alcohol consumption, some reader's thoughts marked in italics and I think it's all for now. A/N: Here we are! I'm so nervous to post the first chapter of this story! I take it for granted now but: English is not my first language, I tried to proofread as best as I could so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. I don't have a beta, so it's all my fault, sorry. Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist, thanks to anyone who reads, I really hope you like it 🥹

And of course let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs are so much appreciated and they literally keep me going and try even harder! If you want to give me some advice, go ahead! ♥️

AQN - Masterlist

Your neighborhood is a quiet place.

White picket fences, well-kept gardens, plenty of block parties to attend, everyone knows each other and nothing ever happens.

As a child, when you stayed at your grandmother's house who lived here, you didn't have the exact perception of how unusual and picturesque it was, like something out of a postcard.

It just made you feel safe and there were lots of kids to play with, so it was always that special place you hoped to live when you grew up. You lived a short distance away, with your parents, your grandmother would often pick you up after school and you would stay at her house until your parents got off work. You could say that you spent more time here than you did in your actual home. So when your grandmother died and left you this house, it was a natural choice for you to move here.

If you were asked who your most peculiar neighbor is, you would definitely answer Dave York. He is unlike any of the other men who live near you, messy, careless, jovial and chatty, peaceful men who are friendly with everyone. Dave is not like that, he is rather mysterious and reserved, to begin with. He is very affectionate and present with his daughters, of course, nice with his wife, but with strangers he limits himself to a politeness of circumstance, he speaks only as much as necessary, you have never understood whether it is due to shyness or a general aversion to people.

Dave is composed, precise, neat almost in a manic way in his appearance.

He’s been living here for while, he moved here with his family a couple of years after you, and yet you've never figured out precisely what his job is, he told everyone he was a CEO for a company and no one felt compelled to investigate further, the neighborhood gossip preferred to focus on other, more juicy topics and so it remained a vague piece of information, which no one cares about. It certainly allows him to earn a lot of money considering the standard of living he leads.

It always takes you a while to wake up in the morning and you love to spend a few minutes on the porch sipping your coffee, you love that quiet moment before a hubbub of children being dropped off at school, cars pulling out of the driveway, the neighborhood waking up and getting back to life. Dave gets out particularly early so he ended up becoming part of your morning routine.

He doesn't even see you as he rushes out to go to work and you like it that way.

He walks out of his perfect house, with a perfect garden, gets into his perfect car with his briefcase, perfectly shaved, combed, shirt and pants perfectly pressed, understated and elegant tie, shiny shoes on which not a speck of dust ever seems to have settled. You've always wondered what's underneath.

He lives right across the street from you, so you can often see him from your window and you linger to look at him more than you'd like to admit.

You see him out early Sunday morning for a run, black sweatpants and white T-shirt, then mowing the lawn with his T-shirt slightly sweaty from running and his hair a little disheveled.

At lunchtime you catch a glimpse of him sitting at the table in the living room, located in front of a large window with his family as Carol serves the Sunday meal. She, too, is similar in some ways. She is refined, never vulgar, has a lovely tone of voice, she’s kind and friendly to everyone, and bakes crazy desserts. She once brought you muffins to thank you for lending her a package of sugar she had forgotten to buy and they were the best you had ever tasted. And his daughters? Polite, respectful, always adorably dressed, little princesses of manners. But it is he, above all, who arouses your interest. He draws you inexplicably, for as long as you have lived here there has always been in you curiosity to find out if he has some flaw, if there is something that stirs him inside.

And then, of course, he’s incredibly handsome, probably the most attractive man you’ve ever seen.

The first time you saw them at a block party you immediately noticed him, he stood out from all the others men. Black hair, aquiline nose, deep brown piercing eyes, plushy lips, broad shoulders, narrow waist, he wore a suit without looking either old-fashioned or snobbish, just gorgeous. You welcomed him, Carol and their kids to the neighborhood and then went back to your friends to sip margaritas and gossip. You couldn't take your eyes off him though; he was like a magnet that kept attracting your gaze.

There's nothing wrong with admiring someone from afar, is there? you tell yourself when you feel your cheeks warming up for him.

You always liked his confident but never cocky demeanor, his gestures are always measured and graceful, at parties when he talks to someone and is next to his wife he holds an arm around her waist never conveying a sense of possession but rather of protection and care. It bugs you to admit that this is exactly what you would like too.

_________________________

This morning you had to wake up earlier than usual, your boss called a meeting through an email you never wanted to receive, usually when he does it is to complain about something, which makes you want to stay in bed and call in sick. No time for Davewatching, you can't if you care about keeping your job and continuing to live in this nice neighborhood across the street from him.

You jumped into the shower grumbling, washing your hair in a hurry because you were obviously already late, and when you got out of the shower you discovered that your hair dryer was no longer working. Certainly not the best way to start the day. You cursed, fumbling in the bathroom cabinet drawer looking for a hair tie, tied your hair up in a high topknot, and sighed as you looked in the mirror to the image of a messed up you.

You couldn't do much about it, so you thought you'd put on your favorite office outfit to make yourself feel better, a dark gray skirt and jacket that you bought about a year ago. Money well spent, this suit hugs all the right spots on your body, making you feel elegant and professional, with a hint of sexiness. You feel confident. You pull it out of the closet and lay it on the bed, then look for a pair of tights to match. You rummage through your drawer and pull out at least five pairs, realizing they are all laddered. How on earth is that possible? Nothing is going right this morning. You huff, forcing yourself to wear hold-ups. Not your favorite thing to wear to work, they are certainly sexy but sitting 8 hours at your desk with silicone squeezing your thigh? No thanks. Yet this morning you have no choice.

You gather up your papers and stuff them into your bag, grab a cup of coffee adding a little milk foam that you quickly froth with a small electric milk frother, you drink it right away almost burning your tongue and then step out into your driveway heading for your car practically running, the heels you've been wearing clicking noisily on the pavement.

You get into the car and start it, or at least try to, because it won't work. You bring a hand to your eyebrows, cursing again “Oh fuck! You gotta be kidding me!”. Your boss will have your head served on a silver platter this morning.

You get out and open the hood, to your lay eyes there seems to be nothing wrong, no smoke or other visible signs, so you think it's the battery.

You curse and get back in the car, searching your bag for your phone, your nerves are on edge when you hear light tapping on the window. You jump in your seat in fright, and when you turn around you see Dave on the other side. Great, you think. Just the situation I was hoping he'd see me in, stressed, messy, basically on the verge of tears.

You roll down the window and he asks: “You need help?”

“Oh don't worry, I don't want to bother you, I can manage on my own,” you stammer, trying to pull yourself together.

“The car won't start?” his voice is quite reassuring, aloof as it is.

“Yes but really, no problem, I'll call a uber.”

“Don’t be silly, let me give you a ride” you hear an amused undertone now, maybe because of your ridiculous face, you feel so inadequate and stupid in front of him, surely he thinks you're a train wreck and wants to do charity work by rescuing you as an abandoned kitten on the street corner.

You look down and see the lace of your stockings peeking out from the hem of your skirt that had ridden up too high when you sat in the car. You hastily pull down your skirt, wondering in a panic if he had noticed it too.

Your gaze reluctantly returns to him, feeling your cheeks heat up, and he seems unperturbed as he repeats, “Come on, if we don’t hurry we’ll both end up late.”

“Okay...” you whisper "well..thanks"

You get out of your car, finishing to adjust your skirt taking advantage of the fact that he has his back to you, as you awkwardly follow him across the street.

You get into his shiny expensive car almost in awe, smelling his car freshener, obviously something fancy because he’s too sophisticated to settle for something you can find at the drugstore for $2.

It’s as clean as if it had never been used, the leather seat welcomes you, there is not a crumb or anything, this man has two little daughters and his car is immaculate.

You’ve never sat so stiff in your life, clutching your bag to your chest as if it would contaminate the car’s floor mat if you dared to put it down.

He looks at you and urges “Seatbelt, please” and you hurry up to reply awkwardly “Oh. Yes. Of course.” and you see something shine in his eyes, a suppressed laugh, a tiny crack that disappears immediately.

You resign yourself to lay the bag at your feet and put the seat belt on, pulling it slowly, almost reverently, you feel his gaze on you and you are afraid of making another fool of yourself.

He starts the car and drives off, as you drive away from your neighborhood you try to calm down and regain control of yourself. He's just giving you a ride; there's no reason to be so jittery.

You give him directions to your office, trying to disguise your excitement as much as possible; usually you can get along just fine with anyone, but today you feel like a schoolgirl on her first experience.

You watch his profile surreptitiously as you tell him to turn right, and then left, lingering on his sculpted cheekbone, his long eyelashes, his perfectly drawn lips.

He’s so incredibly attractive your eyes almost can’t take it and so well dressed as usual, in a dark blue suit, light blue shirt and a burgundy tie with dark blue dots.

You are almost there and a little bit sorry, you didn't feel like going to work already but now you want to sit in this car next to him until the end of the day.

When he asks you which building your office is, it takes you a few seconds too long to answer, “Oh, this one, on the right.” because you're so enthralled admiring his confidence behind the wheel.

Not only can he drive in gears, but his driving is safe, without wavering, and when he parks in front of your office you notice how he maneuvers with his open hand on the steering wheel. Sexy. You are impressed. You wonder if there is anything this man can't do.

You turn to him and whisper a thank you in a breathy voice. He looks at you and you feel his gorgeous brown eyes penetrate all the way into your soul as he replies, “Happy to help. Do you have someone who can drive you back?“

”Yes, thank you, I'll ask my coworker,” you lie, knowing that you will almost certainly have to take a bus or cab, but you don't want to give him any more trouble.

“Okay, well, have a good day”

“Thanks, you too”

Oh wait, there’s something…” he says, reaching your face with his hand and brushing dangerously close to your mouth with his thumb “here” He licks the tip of his finger and looks at you with his usual unflappable expression as you realize you have ridden in his car with milk foam at the corner of your mouth “you’re good now” he whispers and you would like to sink into the seat and disappear forever.

You get out of the car and walk toward the office entrance, feeling his eyes on your back, when you reach the door you turn and wave to him. He is still there, pulling up to the curb, and he gestures back to you. His car speeds away into city traffic a second later.

“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself before pushing open the door to your office and entering.

_________________________

“Hey” you hear coming from above you as you are pulling with all your might at a plant that you don't even know where it came from and that is infesting your cyclamen flower bed. You look up and Dave is standing in front of you in your front garden, wearing the usual white T-shirt and black sweatpants he wears every Sunday for jogging. “Oh. Hi,” you say, passing the back of your hand over your forehead and then shielding your eyes from the sun to see him better.

“So did you solve the car?”

“Yes, thank you so much for your help” that feeling of being back in middle school when you had a crush on your classmate Josh comes alive again inside you.

“Good. Was it the battery?”

”That's right. I had to change it. 300 bucks! Fuck, I'll be damned.” You blather on without thinking that maybe you're not so close to each other to let yourself swear in front of him.

Dave chuckles, even his laugh is polite and discreet but you can see a cheeky little light in his eyes along with a lovely dimple on his cheek that makes your face heated up.

"I know, they're expensive”

“Yeah, but what else could I do, I don't understand anything about cars, I’m better with plants” you chuckle trying to contain your nervousness.

“They are very beautiful,” he notes, moving his gaze from you to the cyclamens and then back to you, staring. He seems to want to say something more, his lips are half open out held, like everything about him.

“Thank you” There is a lull where you don't know what to say or what to do because he keeps looking at you with his big brown eyes that make you melt and then you ask the first thing that comes to mind "Um, are you and Carol coming to the Horowitz party next week?"

“I think so, she told me about it the other night. Will you be there?” you could almost tell you hear a hopeful tone in his voice, but you're brought back down to earth in an instant by your own inner voice.

Stop doing this, he’s married you idiot.

“Yes, of course.” you nod, smiling.

He smiles back at you, “Well, I have to go now I'm glad you worked it out. If you need anything else however you can find me across the street.”

You watch him walk away toward his home as you feel that something, at least in a very slight part, has changed between you. He is warmer, friendlier, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you enter the house to wash your hands. You feel like floating and when you look in the bathroom mirror you see it.

The most gigantic of smiles spread across your face, your eyes twinkling.

You are beyond redemption, a complete mess.

_________________________

“Carol loves that brand”

You are at the mall, standing in front of a storefront window that is too expensive for your pocket, gazing at a pair of black leather pumps. You turn around and see him. Dazzling in a black turtleneck and gray pants, black belt and leather lace-ups, he looks like something out of a fashion magazine. You would almost find him irritating if it weren't for the fact that by now you have to admit to yourself, you have a terrible crush on him.

Molly and Alice greet you with a smile echoing their father “yes, that's right, mommy loves them”

You smile at the girls “I can imagine. Your mom dresses so well, doesn't she?” And they look at you proudly nodding “she does”

“I want to be like her when I grow up” Alice adds in her little bird voice.

“Oh that's so sweet, I'm sure your mom will be very proud, of both of you. ” you tell her gently.

Dave is silent and smiles softly, watching his little princesses behave with you. “Well, we've gotta go, we're going to be late for the movie” he says right back, looking a little embarrassed but as usual you think your imagination is really flying awkwardly by now.

“Oh, what are you going to see?” you ask, always looking at the girls to trick your mind. You don't have to think about him, he's a married man, what's wrong with you.

“Daddy's taking us to see The Little Mermaid!” Molly announces to you with her eyes shining ‘that's my favorite!’

“The multiplex at this mall shows old animated movies in one of their theaters on Sunday afternoons,” Dave explains ”the girls love going there.”

"Oh wonderful!" you reply "well, have fun then"

They're about to leave when Dave turns around and tells you "you should buy them anyway" You stand for a moment interjected "the shoes, I mean. They would look good on you”.

You stand dumbfounded, feeling that tingle spread through your lower abdomen again. You don't reply, but you watch them walk off into the crowd, Molly and Alice each to one side of their dad shaking his hand, Dave in the center with his beautiful hair, his broad shoulders highlighted by his sweater, a delicious butt swaddled beautifully in his gray pants, as soon as they disappear around the corner you go into the store and buy shoes. Even if they are too expensive and if your credit card could talk it would ask you if you are completely crazy. This is the measure of how screwed you are. You can't wait to wear them to the Horowitz party.

——————————

The Horowitz house is one of the most luxurious in the neighborhood; high ceilings, marble floors, expensive furniture all over the place, chandeliers and silverware, these people are filthy rich. You used to tutor their daughter, Gretchen, a snooty little princess who grew up in bamboozlement and thought she could boss you around. Somehow you managed to win her over eventually, and since you seemed to be the only one in the neighborhood who could tame her the right way, her parents paid you good money.

At the time you had just graduated and were trying to find a job so that money came in handy.

You say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz and jump into the fray, it's packed everywhere, and your neighbors certainly aren't begging to take advantage of the lavish buffet served poolside.

You see Gretchen in the corner flirting with a waiter and smile, shaking your head, she’s only 18 and already so flirty and cheeky with boys, at her age you just felt like an awkward and inexperienced potato with no sense of fashion and no idea how to talk with boys, you're thankful that adolescence is long over for you. Two of your neighbors, Jane and Gabrielle, are gossiping about Edie's skimpy dress and the new boyfriend she brought to the party after divorcing her husband just two months ago. They wave at you and you sit with them on poolside loungers, they’re some of your dearest friends in the neighborhood.

“Where are Rafael and Carlos?” you ask, looking for their husbands.

Gabrielle waves her hand and says, “over there talking football with Hank.”

You’re the only one of your friends left single, after breaking up with Jesse two years ago, you decided to focus on your career. You got a promotion last year, but still no husband in sight.

You suggest to go to the bar to have a drink and they both agree.

There is soft music wafting around, classical, very elegant like the overall tone of the party. It looks more like a wedding reception than a block party, but you know that if the Horowitz don't make it big they're not happy. You approach the bar, a nice drink will solve your nervousness as you try not to stumble and end up in the pool because of your brand new high heels, clinging to Jane’s arm.

Of course she laughs at you “honey, those shoes are gorgeous but don’t you think they’re a bit impractical for a pool party?”

“Hey! You were the one who told me I needed to freshen up my wardrobe and wear heels more often!” You reprimand as Jane and Gabi laugh.

You've been waiting to wear them at this party all week, even doing some tests at home to make sure they don't give you blisters.

They're the highest heels you've ever owned and yes, they’re not comfortable, especially to walk on the grass and around a slippery surface like the poolside but tonight when you looked at yourself, swaddled in a little black dress and these shoes, you've never looked so pretty. Your bank account has been severely undermined but you think it was worth it. And even though it would be lo the last thing you should want, you can't wait for him to see you.

You put on your favorite underwear underneath, just to have that extra boost of confidence.

You feel good, just as good as you have felt in months, and all it took was for him to notice you. You should probably feel ridiculous, but because he took away the apathy you've been feeling lately, you decide you won't. Not this time. And when you see him walk into the garden, black slacks and white shirt, no tie, the last two buttons left open, he is breathtakingly handsome.

The only thing that matters is the instant when his eyes meet yours, and they are not cold and distant, but it is as if they are smiling, sparkling with a light you have never seen in them before.

You've kept your wild fantasy at bay until now, but you're sure that in the midst of all these people he's been watching you.

You feel proud and beautiful until you see her.

Of course Carol is by his side, holding his arm and smiling radiantly in her cream cocktail dress.

And suddenly it all comes crashing down on you, how could you not consider that she would be here, with him, his rightful wife. She wouldn't have been missed. Yet you were so busy trying to look the best you could that you buried her in the corner of your mind, just totally ignored her until this moment. You grab the martini you ordered and down it in one gulp.

“Hey! Take it easy, honey!” Jane says to you, raising an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you?”

She’s never seen you drink like that, you’ve never actually drunk like that, maybe just after Jesse left you, but it didn’t last long anyway. You shrug and smile at her. “Oh come on, it’s a party! And I don’t have to drive.”

Rafael and Carlos come over to greet you and you're left alone for a moment while the four of them go to inspect the buffet.

You try to distract yourself engaging old Mrs Threadgoode in a conversation you don't care about about the hedge bordering your houses, but out of the corner of your eye you see them approaching, her always at his side, as they make the rounds of greetings. You even try to blend taking the old lady by the arm and continuing to babble as you move behind a huge vase next to the appetizer table, hoping they won't notice you until you hear Carol's pretty voice behind you. You turn around, thinking you are doomed, as if she can read your thoughts, but there is absolutely nothing in her gaze but courtesy and grace, as usual.

It makes you even more nervous that her husband has been your constant thought for two weeks and she does not suspect in the least.

You greet her, trying to swallow your senseless resentment, but when you place your eyes on him you feel that tingle again, that warmth invading you from head to toe, while his gaze is as enveloping and sensual as it has ever been. “You look great,” he tells you, and Carol immediately echoes him, ”oh yes, you look so beautiful today!” You say thank you, chat for a couple more minutes, and then excuse yourself by saying you need to go to the restroom. The whole time you were standing in front of him he was just staring at you, his gaze went down to your ankles noticing your brand new shoes, and you can swear you saw his mouth bend into a smile, almost imperceptible.

You still feel stupid for wasting the whole afternoon dolling yourself up for a married man.

You cross the hallway to the bathroom and see Gretchen again, deep in conversation with the same waiter, she’s leaning against the wall, running a hand over his chest covered by a white shirt and giggling coquettishly. She looks up and sees you, “Hey there! How are you?”

“All good, hun, how are you?”you reply.

“I’m great! We need to talk later!” she shrieks at your back as you hurry toward the restroom door. You lock yourself inside in an instant and lean your hands against the sink, sighing. What the hell had gotten into you, what did you think you were doing?

You take a couple more deep breaths and try to downplay “okay, let's just calm down, there's nothing a couple more martinis can't fix” You look in the mirror and say to yourself “now you go out, enjoy the party with your friends, then you go home and forget about this whole thing. Enough of this crap” you whisper it in a low voice. You have just finished the sentence when you hear a knock at the door. “I'm done, just a second,” you say loudly.

You don't expect the voice you hear coming from the other side “It's Dave”

You pull your ear to the door to make sure you get it right and ask “who?”

“Dave. Open up” Your heart skips a beat and your hand trembles on the door knob as you are unsure what to do. “What do you want?“

”To talk. Come on, open up.”

You don't understand what you should talk about, there is nothing to discuss, nothing happened “I'm going out now,” you mumble, check your makeup quickly and pull the handle determined to avoid him and go back to the garden to find your friends.

You make to leave but Dave pushes you back inside the bathroom “Wait a minute” You are incredulous as you look at his enigmatic smile “What is it?”

“You bought the shoes” You don't know what he is getting at “So what?”

“I was right. They fit you well” He smiles at you and you feel a knot in your stomach

‘Did you need to lock yourself in the bathroom to tell me that?’ you raise an eyebrow wryly.

The situation is so absurd that you even pluck up the courage to answer him in kind.

“Actually, no. But to do this...yes” He leans over you and encircles your face with one hand ‘You’re so damn perfect tonight’ he whispers, before placing his lips on yours.

You open your eyes wide as if you've been hit by a gunshot, not expecting anything like this.

His mouth is soft and inviting, his tongue moving lightly against your lips, and you let it in, savoring a warm and delicious whiff of whiskey, losing yourself in his flavor, feeling his hands tighten on your hips. Before you know it, he has pushed you against the marble walls, caging you into his body and continuing to lick into your mouth like a thirsty man in the middle of the desert, unleashing an unprecedented storm inside you. You moan into his mouth as your arms wrap around his back and your hips thrust against his in a silent but desperate plea for attention.

Your bodies blend perfectly, it feels like one of those wet dreams you keep having at night in the privacy of your room. Him naked on top of you covering your skin with kisses that descend over your breasts grazing your nipples and then over your belly to your pussy. Him pounding you senseless as you whine and scratch his back with your fingernails feeling so full of his cock.

He suddenly pulls back and reality collapses on you again waking you up from the stupor you've fallen into. He smiles at you again “I just wanted to tell you this,” his hand caresses your neck, his eyes fix on your breasts accentuated by the cleavage of your dress just for a moment and as he arrived he disappears behind the door again going back to mingling among the people.

He didn't even leave you time to talk, left you standing there like a fool, wondering what the hell it all means. What does he want from you? What is going to happen from now on? Your head is empty, you brush your lips still feeling his latent taste. If you were asked who is the most peculiar man in your neighborhood, you would surely say Dave York. You would also say that he is a total threat to your heart.

Tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter @almostempty @thundermartini @harriedandharassed @syd-djarin @penascigarette @joelalorian @pedrostories @sunnytuliptime let me know if you want to be added or removed and I'll do it right away.

#pedro pascal #dave york fic #dave york smut #dave york fanfiction #dave york x f!reader #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu fanfic #ppcu fanfiction #ppcu #pedro pascal characters

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sigma-alpha-writer-chad · 3 months ago

Text

Grow Up, Would You? [Josh Washington]

“I don’t know if you’ve changed any since middle school but I really hope you’ve learned the difference between pranking somebody and just being a fucking bully.”

You can also find this story on Ao3!

Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four

[CHAPTER THREE]

Italics = Events taking place prior to the "present day" of the story!

It had been a quiet day, so far. That morning was easily one of the best I'd had in who knew how long. Everybody had been leaving me alone. I was grateful for the peace and quiet, though I couldn't relax fully. Somebody had to be planning something. Despite the thoughts, I wanted to have a good day.

I really wanted to have one good day.

The cafeteria was big. Rows of long, rectangular tables were filled with middle schoolers chatting about their day and eating their lunches. Some had home packed lunches filled with goodies they could trade off for something better or in exchange for cheating off homework, and some children had the school lunch. It was pizza today. Square pies with cubes of pepperoni on them. Many people didn't like them but they were always one of my favorites.

I looked around me. I couldn't see anybody who would've wanted to pull something on me.

I couldn't see Josh.

It had been years since anyone else had done anything to me without him participating or sort of approving it. If he wasn't at school that day, I would be free for the day. It was the only explanation I had that day for the lack of terror I'd faced.

I stood in the line for the pizza and spotted my cousin, Chris, and his friend Ashley. I called for them, and they allowed a bunch of kids in front of them to move towards my spot in line.

"Hey, cousin," Chris greeted me. "Last year of lunch together, huh?" He was one year my senior, meaning next year he would be in high school, a building separate from mine. "Is that why you seem to be in such a good mood?"

"Yep, you keep saying," I responded as a grin grew across my face. "Poor Jordan, without her big cousin around. Whatever will the humble 8th grader-to-be do?"

"Celebrate?" Ashley chimed in. "No more Josh, right?" I smiled wider and nodded. Chris made a face at Ashley for bringing it up. He obviously wanted to say something, but didn't. We moved forward in the line.

"I can't wait to have some peace," I admitted. For a moment I wondered what it would be like. Would the teasing and pranks really stop, or would they just be exacted upon me by someone else? I shook the thoughts from my head, but not my smile.

"Josh isn't that bad," Chris defended. "He's my best friend. Why are you so mean about him?" My expression faltered slightly.

"Why is he so mean about me? Why are you always on Josh's side?" I retorted. "You're no better, really. You're just my less mean cousin." I crossed my arms. Day ruined. "I'm tired of always being the one who is upset and ruins everything when you guys are the ones who upset me in the first place." Chris's face turned red in embarrassment and frustration, and I could tell he felt guilty, as well. He pushed up his glasses.

"They're just jokes! It's not my fault you're just a cry baby 7th grader and nobody likes you." I frowned, hard, and my appetite was no longer.

"Where is this coming from?" I asked, tears brimming my eyes. Chris was always sensitive yet defensive in 8th grade, quick to bite if he felt cornered. I tried to remember what my mother had told me about when people are mean to you for no reason - that they feel bad about themselves. I could see Chris's expression drop when I started to cry. At that point, though, it'd meant nothing. Time and time again he or Josh or someone else would make me upset, he would feel bad as soon as I started to cry, and then do it again the next week.

I left the lunch line and made a beeline straight for my homeroom class. Mr. Brown would allow me to just sit at my desk during lunch if I'd wanted, so oftentimes that's what I did.

He greeted me as I entered, but said nothing else as I went to sit down. He was the only teacher who seemed to understand I didn't like to talk about the pranks pulled by my peers, especially because the school would do nothing about it anyways.

"Somebody left something for you in your desk," Mr. Brown said. His expression was soft and mildly worried, likely due to the obvious tears I had running down my face. "Should we look together?" My lips pressed into a thin line as I nodded and my heart rate picked up. He stood up and made his way towards me.

"Who left it?" I asked warily, standing up as to not be trapped if water sprayed out of the desk.

Again.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "They were in and out pretty fast. Had a hood up." He placed his left hand at the edge of my desk, where he could lift it up. "Ready?" I nodded, and he slowly lifted the desk.

It was a flower.

Mr. Brown and I stood completely still for a couple of seconds. I sniffled and slowly moved my hand away from my chest to reach for the white flower. It was a daisy. My favorite? Mr. Brown's eyebrows raised and gave way to an expression of delight as I picked up the daisy to show him.

"Is there a note?" He asked, peeking over the wooden top of my desk.

"Uhm..." I leaned forward to look back into the desk. There was a pink piece of paper folded about a million times to be as small as possible. This failed miserably, the paper being too thick to even stay closed. "Yeah, I think so." I took it out and observed the parchment.

"A secret admirer!" Mr. Brown gasped dramatically. It suddenly occured to me how nosey and curious my teacher was. My face grew hot as I opened up the pink letter. "What does it say?" I shot him a look. He put his hands up and backed away. "Ok, I get it." He teased and went back to his desk with a small smile on his face. I looked down at the pink note in my hands as my heart pounded in my chest. Was it really a secret admirer? Or another dumb prank?

The handwriting was atrocious.

'Jordan, I saw this flower outside and I thought it was pretty and maybe I heard one time it was your favorite so I picked it for you. Don't get the wrong idea because this isn't a secret admirer and nobody likes you that much, especially not me.'

I was taken aback by the note. What kind of a note was this? I thought back to one of the animes Chris likes that he'd made me watch. There was a really mean girl who was very mean to the boy she liked to hide her feelings. Was this the same? I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration, confusion, and flattery. I would have to show Chris later. I put the daisy inside the letter and waited for the day to be over.

---

Chris and I sit on the floor of my bedroom, chatting about his previous trips to the lodge and what it would be like.

"A lot of drinking. Like, so much. Josh and I usually pass out at least once," Chris babbles excitedly. Even though he seemed very hesitant at first, he'd quickly come around to my invite. "I'm actually really happy you're coming. The twins are stoked, y'know?" I smile at him, and he continues on. "They're the ones who started the idea. Everybody comes up and spends a few days at the lodge and we all just party. This will be the second or third year without parents though, I think."

"I feel like that's a safety hazard," I sigh, laying on my side and propping myself up with the palm of my hand. "What if someone gets hurt or goes missing?" Chris shrugs.

"Then we do what we can and we call the police," he states. I shrug as well. I wasn't satisfied with that answer, but I understood that no parents meant more freedom and fun for us young adults. I scoot a little closer to him, a mischievous smile creeping across my expression.

"So... No adults, at all?" Chris side eyes me suspiciously, not bothering to turn his head.

"No... Why?" I know he knows what I'm about to say.

"No reason, just... Y'know, Ashley." He smacks both of his hands over his face in embarrassment, his face growing redder by the second.

"Oh, my God, Jordan, not you too," he sighs in annoyance. "I really like Ashley, I really really do but can't we talk about anything else for once?" I smile wider and shrug.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Josh," My smile immediately fades. Chris shifts to match my position, laying his chin on his hand and laying on his side. "Let's talk about Josh."

"Why do you want to talk about Josh?" Chris has a small smile on his face as he shrugs, mocking my previous body language.

"I was surprised when he took you to the bathroom," he admits. He rolls over into his stomach, his jaw on both hands now as he kicked his feet behind him like a gossipping school girl. "Crazy, right?"

"Yeah, I think he was just high, though," I say, chewing my lip. I can feel the tips of my ears redden. "You saw how he acted immediately afterwards, didn't you? The daggers he was glaring when I got invited to the lodge were sharp, man." I raise my eyebrows and move to mirror Chris.

"Daggers... Of love." He wiggles his eyebrows and makes a kissy face. I roll my eyes so hard it hurts.

"Ok, you watch too many soap operas or something," I laugh. My cousin sighs and rolls his own eyes. "Would you stop copying me?"

"Would you stop copying me?" I go straight faced and stare at him, hitting my swinging feet on the ground with a thud. He does the same, and a staring contest ensues. I squint. There's no way I was losing this. Time slows down, but luckily for me, I could already see Chris's eyes begin to water. I'm tempted to reach for his glasses slowly and take them off his face when his phone rings and he instinctively looks away, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Technicality," he groans as he stands up.

"A technicality is still a win," I gloat. I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. "Who is it?"

"It's your boyfriend," Chris teases.

"My abusive boyfriend," I snort. "What does he want?" he puts his finger up in a gesture to wait as he answers the phone.

"Hey man, what's up?" I mouth to Chris telling him to put the phone on speaker. He glares at me and mouths 'nosey,' tapping himself on the nose. I sigh dramatically and wait. "Yeah, I'm just at Jordan's house... Uh huh. Yeah. No, I'm spending the day with -" Chris sighs in frustration. "I'll ask her." I perk up. "Do you want to get pizza with Josh?" my eyebrow raises in suspicion and look Chris up and down. He rolls his eyes. "He only wanted me to come but I told him I'm not leaving you and so he's extending the invitation."

"Does he promise to be nice?" Chris puts the phone on speaker.

"Josh, do you promise to be nice?" he asks. There's silence before Josh laughs. A smile tugs at my lips, though I'm not sure why.

"Yes, Chris, I promise to be nice to Jordan." Chris looks at me, waiting for my response.

"Fine," I sigh dramatically. Chris smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

"Niiice, see you soon." Josh hangs up. A silence hangs between Chris and I. He sets his phone down and looks at the ground, twiddling his thumbs as if he's nervous, like he's about to say something he shouldn't.

"He doesn't hate you, you know," he says. I look up at him, but he doesn't meet my gaze. "I'm... I'm sorry, for... betraying you so often when we were kids." This takes me by surprise. Chris had changed, being kinder to me as we grew older, but I never expected an apology.

"I forgive you, Chris," I smile and stand up, giving him a hug. He hugs me back tightly and he lets out a breath he had been holding. "Don't apologize for Josh, though. He's not sorry."

"Still, Jordan, I meant it," Chris takes a step back, putting his arms to my shoulders and bending down slightly to look me in the eyes. "He doesn't hate you." I didn't know what to say.

"Chris, I don't know what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything. Let's just go get pizza. It's within walking distance."

"But it's cold outside."

"You have a coat." I groan dramatically as we start to leave, grabbing my coat.

---------

Chris opens the door for me as we walk into the pizza joint Josh had told us to meet him at. It was a homey, diner-like place with booths lined up against the walls for seating, bar stools at the bar, and a few circular tables for larger parties. In front of the bar was a sign that read 'seat yourself.'

"Looks like we beat him here," Chris mumbles. "Where do you want to sit?"

"A booth, by the window." I answer, walking ahead of him to take a seat at an empty booth near the back. Chris sits across from me and I furrow my eyebrows.

"What?" He asks. I don't want to tell him I'm worried Josh might sit next to me, so I shake my head and tell him nothing. A waitress comes to the table and lays a menu down. "Oh, we'll be a minute, we're waiting on somebody."

"Okay, hon, sure thing," she winks at Chris as she walks away. Chris shrugs off his thick coat to fall around his waist.

"Bro she wants you so bad," I say. Chris sighs, but he's smiling. "Hubba hubba." It had been an inside joke since our teenage years that every waitress or waiter wanted him. Of course, they didn't usually wink.

"Dude, guaranteed wife." He says, running his fingers through his hair dramatically, shaking his head. Suddenly the seat next to mine sinks, someone taking a seat next to me. Chris's eyebrow twitches in surprise and amusement.

"Hey, fellas," Josh grins, rubbing his hands together. "Pizza time? Did you guys order?"

"No, we waited for you, dude," Chris says. "I'm thinking just pepperoni, personally."

"Can we add some bacon on this bad boy?" Chris agrees, and both he and Josh look to me for an answer. I glance at Josh, who is staring at me rather intensely and gulp.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I smile. Josh tilts his head as if to see my face better and I feel my face grows warm with confusion and embarrassment. I ignore him, though I can tell he notices my flustered state by his wicked grin. I look at my cousin across the table, and his expression is that of surprise and curiosity. The waitress comes back, and we order.

Josh and Chris talk about the lodge. Past years, plans for this one. I feel a tinge of nerves and excitement. Everyone included talks so much about it, I don't know if I've ever done anything so hyped up. I'd never been to any huge events before, nor small, fun sleepovers with anyone other than Chris.

"So, Jordan," Josh snaps me out of my thoughts, bumping into me with his shoulder. I look at Josh, keeping my head tilted down shyly as I look up at him. He looks back at me, and I can see something in his expression I can't quite name. "Do you drink, or are you lame in that aspect, too?" He laughs and bumps me again. I frown.

"It's not my thing. I don't like being... Compromised?" I furrow my eyebrows, trying to find the words to explain myself. "I don't... I don't want there to be any opportunity for me to be taken advantage of in any way." There's many meanings to this for me. Someone could easily pull a cruel joke on me, film me vomiting and post it online, take me to the bedroom. Josh's smile fades.

"Is there anyone in particular you don't feel safe around?" He asks. I see Chris's eyebrows raised in surprise as he listens in, his eyes moving between Josh and I quickly as if anticipating what would come next. I'm surprised, too.

"What do you mean?" I ask, shifting in my seat uncomfortably.

"If someone is making you feel unsafe they're not invited." Josh states. His eyes are widened slightly and He's staring at me with an intensity I've never seen before. He's dead serious. I scan his face quickly. "Just say the word, Jordan, and it's done." I gulp.

"I-"

"Here you go, kids. Pepperoni and bacon, fresh out the oven! Be careful not to burn yourselves," the waitress says. She's very peppy and beautiful, a heavyset woman with curly brown hair draped over her shoulders and lipstick that was much too red for most, but perfect for her. We offer our thanks as she walks away. I glance back at Josh, who seems to have completely forgotten the intensity he was just showing me at the mention of my discomfort. Chris looks just as surprised as I am.

The pizza looks and smells amazing. The pepperoni was still sizzling, the grease popping. Chris, Josh and I are drooling and I realize just how hungry I was. It seemed torturous now to have to wait for it to cool down to avoid injury.

"Anyways, Jordan," Josh starts. I look at him again. "You don't have to drink, or whatever, even if it does accentuate your... your lameness." I frown again. "But no matter what, if anyone makes you feel unsafe please let me know... I've got no tolerance for that sort of thing."

"Do you promise not to prank me over the trip?" I ask, moving so that my body is facing him as much as it can in the booth. He does the same, straightening his posture as our knees touch. He doesn't move away from me.

"What?"

"Because that's my biggest concern, Josh, honestly," I admit. He seems taken back, glancing at Chris as if for help. "I don't want to wake up with my mattress in the woods or with a snake in my bed or rats in my coat pockets." I try to sound stern. Josh makes eye contact with me and doesn't look away. I almost shy away, but I hold. His eyes scan my face, for what I'm not sure. But it makes me nervous.

"Guys, you're freaking me out," Chris gulps. "Can we please just eat the pizza?" Josh's lips form a thin, straight line and he sighs, finally looking away from me.

"If it would make you feel safer and more comfortable and have more fun," Josh starts, placing his right hand over his heart and raising his left. "I will not pull a single prank on you." Chris's jaw drops. I open my own mouth to say something, and Josh puts some pizza into my mouth. It was hot, but just cooled down enough to eat. "Now eat." His face is darker, a light red dusting his cheeks. As I take the pizza from Josh, Chris and I lock wide eyes, the both of us shocked.

"Thank you," I say. Josh shrugs, his expression one of frustration and mild embarrassment.

"Yeah, whatever. Don't think too much into it," he sighs, his head turned away from me in an attempt to hide his expression. "Just don't want you to freak out and ruin the mood for everybody else." Instead of my normal frown, I smile to myself. This time, I had the feeling that he really was just trying to hide that he cared about me just a little bit - even if it was solely because I was his best friend's cousin. The number one sign that this was the case was still evident as I glanced under the table at my thighs.

Our knees were still touching.

-----------

Hey y'all, thanks for your patience waiting for the update. I work a LOT and on my one day off I'm busy, too. I try to have at least 3k words per chapter, so it takes a bit longer. Anyways, thank you!

Taglist: @sc4rrc @mattymxmo @cellyx33 @jenepleurepasbaby @kalynnjonas @spinback-kiva @frankcastlesvest

#josh washington #josh washington x reader #josh washington x you #joshua washington #until dawn #until dawn x reader #x reader #fanfiction #this is an x reader just didn't want to write “y/n” a lot

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