#so long as they get to hate on trans people

[unlimitedbutchworks]

i wish it was less complicated to talk about the ways in which people preferentially support transfems who present or talk about themselves in similar ways as before transition but there’s so many layers it’s just a pain and everyone else tunes it out. julia serano wrote that it’s often the case for tomboyish, masculine, or butchy trans women to be preferred and sought after over feminine trans women (notice how neutral isn’t an option for us? Ha-ha.) in lesbian and queer spaces, but i don’t think this is a whole truth in of itself; trans women who are very feminine are often othered and pushed away, but at the same time, the “support” for the masculine or boy-identified transfems is also highly circumstantial and fairweather. many perceived markers of masculinity, or absences of femininity, still bring transmisogynistic punishment and othering on these women.

in reality, i think what is really happening here is an unspoken, perhaps sometimes even unconscious bias against transfeminine transition. people who aren’t transfem, and often especially other trans people, are uncomfortable and afraid of the hybridity implied by people they thought were men blooming and changing and taking on aspects they didnt think possible. they don’t know what to do with the anomaly that calls the legitimacy of the binaries and gender systems into question through her active living, and so they want them to stop or to couch it within a context of preserved masculinity, manifesting as this “preference”. it’s a subliminated desire against transition rather than an enjoyment of masculine women, a shoring up of gendered walls to defend what manhood they hope remains, and sometimes it’s directly for detransition.

this is why you see people clamor about how attractive trans women with cropped short hair and undercuts are when a girl muses about how long her hair is getting. why you see people say that trans women who get laser hair removal are supporting gender norms, but at the same time misgender and hate on trans women with thick unshaven body hair. it’s why they love to see you joke about how bad of a man you make, but are put off and disturbed when you try to be taken seriously as anything else. even if they don’t word it or see it as such, a lot of people just genuinely only want transfems in their life to stay as hollow, subservient husks of boyhood for their enjoyment or political tokenization

[pokemon-radical-red]

I hate it when I headcanon a character who’s canonically a girl as a trans man and make ships of him and a character who’s canonically a guy and I refer to it as a gay/mlm/guyxguy/whatever ship and someone gets mad. Like omg let trans people have FUNNNNN. Why are queer headcanons and genderbends cool until they’re saying that the character is trans???

“OMGGG you’re so misogynistic I can’t believe you would erase FEMALE representation!!!”

and like half of the characters in the franchise are women, and a total of… NONE of the characters are trans men. Also, my headcanon doesn’t change the source material. If my stuff upsets you, you can block me and go engage with the source or maybe every single other fanwork, since mine is the only trans man hc for this character that I’ve ever seen.

or when people are like “WTF??? this is so transphobic!!! how dare you imply that a character who looks like that could be a trans man?!?! do you think that trans men are women or something??? she uses she/her, and you’re misgendering her!”

No, I don’t think that being a trans man makes you a woman or vice versa. That’s why it’s a headcanon, and the headcanon is that this character is actually a trans man and not a woman at all! You’ll never guess what pronouns most trans men had to use at some point in their lives, and you really won’t like it when you find out about pre-(or no-)transition trans men… or trans men who are in the closet… or trans men who don’t know that they’re trans yet.

“But the character is a kid!!! Saying they’re trans is sexualizing them.”

I’ve seen this one from other queer people. Like did you miss when all of the homophobes said this about your identity, or do you think that bigotry is only bad when it’s directed at you?

“Why would you say ‘testosterone could fix her’??? Are you trying to call her a delusional woman?”

Why would your brain even go to that first? This literally has to be a bad faith reading, because there’s no way that someone could see what I said and get this unless they were specifically looking for something to be mad at me for.

(Note for anyone unaware: “Estrogen would’ve fixed him!” was a meme going around at the time I said this. I’m not sure if it’s still super big, but this was a joke to the effect of that.)

“So girls can’t be tomboys anymore? You just wanna trans everyone?”

This is like actual real life transphobic rhetoric. This isn’t even just shitting on my headcanon, but in fact, sending transphobic hate to a trans man. Thanks 👍. Maybe you should go send JK Rowling another message about how much you loved her essay instead of bothering me.

[cardentist]

The post that was screenshot: [Link] This post with the reply by catgirlforeskin: [Link] A convenient post that I wrote going into it about my gender yesterday: [Link]

obviously I would suggest reading the original post, as it has context for what was being said in those screenshots.

ahem

So Like, We Just Hate People Who Aren't Binary Huh?

We See Someone Come Out About Being Genderqueer And Talk About Their Own Presentation And Sense Of Self On Their Own Post And It's Immediately Responded To With "You're Fetishizing Trans Women By Thinking That You Have Anything In Common With Them."

let's review !

1: I made a Vent Post where I responded to a Cis Person, I made my own post and crossed out their username because I didn't feel like they did anything Wrong, but I wanted to discuss my feelings on it anyways!

2: these feelings were that it's upsetting that people don't seem to think about the trans perspective when discussing gender Stuff, or how marginalization in general plays a factor when discussing representation in media.

3: within Two Notes I got someone crawling into my replies and dms to talk down to me for being trans masc, so I expressed frustration that That's something that happens to me.

4: THEN somebody responded to That to insist that me expressing frustration about people lashing out at marginalized men was harmful to trans women.

you'll notice ! I was a trans person speaking about my own feelings on my own post, responding to a cis person and someone who explicitly harassed me. I did not mention trans women in this post, because it was a vent post. I explicitly say in my response to that post different kinds of trans people venting about their experiences does not imply or take anything away from other sorts of trans people.

so ! what we're left with is !

1: people being Furiously Angry that I would say that all trans people are capable of being hurt and that all trans people deserve to speak about their feelings, enough to rip things out of context and lie

2: People Just Unironically Saying With Their Entire Chest That A Trans Person Who Considers Themselves Both Masculine And Feminine Is Transmisogynistic, Because Being Genderqueer Implies That You Don't See Trans Women As Real Women. Somehow.

so like. where do we go from here huh.

firstly, there's an awareness. I need people to be Aware that this is something that is happening. that we've reached a point where people hate trans mascs so much that they're willing to tear them down for talking about Their Feelings in response to Cis People.

that we've reached a point where people get so blindly Angry when someone suggests that trans people should all be treated with dignity and respect that they're willing to act like this.

I Need people to share things like this, even if it's not this post specifically. because I Need People To Understand the kind of vitriol and hatred that trans mascs are facing simply for being visible At All.

if people aren't aware then they Will end up supporting and spreading this kind of harassment without realizing.

[dramatic-delirium]

(just to add a footnote, not taking away from the main point, personal rant)

As someone who's primarily been in cis women places this 100% also happens to masc girls. You look like a guy if you have facial hair, you look like a guy if you shave facial hair cause girls have peach fuzz, you cannot sit like a guy, you cannot laugh like a guy, you cannot sneeze like a guy.

But if you decide to become a guy "oh what's the problem with being a gnc women" look it fucking sucks anyway, I've known legitimate cis women who were constantly bullied for having a SHORT BOB for 'being like a guy' until it grew out, that's not even masc wtf.

[notesbynor]

Okay i finally finished MisMag so i can have opinions on the discourse.

TLDR: good effort but could be better

They did a good job critiqueing HP from a world building POV, and a racial diversity POV with most of the people on the table and the PCs being POC

But i think the main/loudest problem about JKR more than anything is that she's a proud TERF. They should've adressed that by having actual trans main characters and people on the table (i know Erika is trans, but Dream/K themself didnt even consider being trans until the final episode).

They can do better than just saying "fuck TERFs" by actually having trans representation especially transfem rep which i KNOW dropout has (Persephone is RIGHT THERE)

And like, even the cis players can choose to have trans characters (like Oscar Montoya playing Rue in ACOFAF) but no they just chose to make cis characters.

It's kinda sad because i KNOW what dropout is capable of in terms of representation and inclusion. They do care about representation and i know that. But at the end of the day i think MisMag kinda falls short on that aspect.

[doomdoomofdoom]

Every now and again I wonder if maybe all trans people face roughly the same amount of bigotry and one just gets more attention, but then i have to read terf posts and.

wow.

obviously every group of trans identities faces their own struggles and unique oppression but there's this incredibly vitriolic kind of hatred reserved for transfems and its sickening.

[shigussy]

i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny

also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade

-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)

-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)

-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)

-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)

my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath

in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do

[rivetgoth]

I’m a huge proponent for anyone should have access to whatever tools they need to do whatever they want to their body etc but ngl it makes me sad seeing the number of AFAB transes who speak of taking testosterone as this almost like, unfortunate thing you gotta endure to get a set list of Desired Changes, or this sorta like, thing you gotta compromise on, with this whole list of negative effects that you gotta risk if you want the positives or whatever, and just constant posts that are functionally like “how long do I have to be on T until I can stop?” or “I want XYZ changes from T but I don’t want ABC changes,” and like it just frustrates me because to be frank I love testosterone. I love everything about being on it and I consider it a miracle that modern medicine has made it possible to access this hormone exogenously if we can’t produce enough of it ourselves. I feel like fundamentally my lack of proper T levels had a negative impact on me until it was corrected and I don’t feel like I was truly myself until I began HRT. Literally the only negative thing about it at all is the frustration that I’m dependent on an outside source for the rest of my life rather than able to just make it myself but there’s no doubt in my mind that I want to be on it for the rest of my life. While maybe a bit pedantic I don’t view T as having side effects, I don’t even necessarily view it as a medication in the traditional sense, it’s just an artificial way for me to correct my body to the state it already should’ve been in. I was overcome by relief after taking my very first dose when I was seeing 0 changes and even as the initial excitement has naturally died down over the years that relief is something I never take for granted. If I could keep every change T has given me and stop taking it I still wouldn’t because beneath all the desire for the changes there is an innate desire to just be on testosterone. I just idk dude I wish that HRT at least within the FTM / transmasc community was viewed with more reverence and the perspectives of those who view it as genuinely a life saving and necessary resource were given a little more voice. I think the entire idea of hormonal dysphoria and the need to alleviate it by correcting one’s hormone production separate from the laundry list of the possible more visible changes and side effects and what’s desired or not or what’s permanent or not etc etc of HRT is seen as weirdly archaic in lots of mainstream FTM spaces and it’s a bit frustrating and isolating.

[screambirdscreaming]

I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.

Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.

Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.

Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.

Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.

Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.

Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.

Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.

Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.

Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.

Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.

[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]

Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.

Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.

Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!

[tirfpikachu]

i guess while you're studying the blade i shall protect dysphoric people in my humongous blanket full of secrets and treasures and awesome foreign snacks that i totally bought with real money

[cyarsk52-20]

but they wanna march and get blue bracelet and that’s why I’m not lifting a finger to support these untrustworthy HEWS. Believing that a ww is a protection of democracy is like believing in Santa: childish. Only difference is you’ll have more faith in a child who believes in Santa than a hew.

like you white girlies voted for a guy who was convicted of rape. At least when my dad was mad at me for my constant post about that t word, he forced me to choose between a world where transgender people can use the restroom of the gender they identify themselves as or a world where I ended up being raped in college , I knew better than to say that I chose the rapist even if it means that a trans can’t use the restroom instead of choosing option c “I’m not allowing children at a young age to be forced into early education about being transgender because they are not old enough to learn about sexuality but I’m also against rape and if that offends you then beat me too submission right now dad and then stay away from me forever !” But if someone who has a belt and they say and swear to God they will freaking beat you into submission because they are tiredt of the open defiance and you don’t want that then you better answer the question. But then again if you ask social media, he’s the type of guy that needs to be unalived for threatening abuse towards his kids even if they kill him themselves

Oh and he’ll be labeled a self hating man who has mommy issues because he has a problem with me supporting someone who (his words not mine “slept her way to the top and locked up over a dozen black men “ never mind that men can be heaux too , dad but apparently he wasn’t gonna have that because at the time it didn’t matter that men can be sluts too because that’s not important atm Oh and he threatened to take my phone away forever, of course he didn’t otherwise I would’ve not been on it right now. That’s right it was a scare tactic to teach me a lesson

Anyways At least I was forced to say I chose the rapist yall hews voted for a rapist, thrice!

And if your daughter ends up being r worded and has children produced by rapists and they disown you don’t come to black folks like me and don’t expect me to come to your marches, your protests, or your donations cause clearly a black woman being president doesn’t matter so you don’t deserve my support. Plus I refuse to give ww a benefit of doubt because my eyes are open and I have been radicalized to not care . Plus I refuse to let the t word , hews nor this phone take me into the gate of hell. black women sit the fruck down this is not our fight and Kamala after January 20 lay down your sword and shield baby. If a black woman wasn’t good enough to lead this country we’re not good enough to protest march donate speak up for y’all causes nothing… do it for the next four years. Apparently to these white girls, my support for democracy doesn’t matter, so they don’t matter to me anymore.

Hews Enjoy your future rape babies… that is if you live long enough to see it happen .

[cuntwrap--supreme]

I've been doing a lot of grocery delivery in the country lately, so I ordered myself a nice bumper sticker so I fit in with everyone else's stuff :)

I've seen a lot of these lately, but they were all of a pride flag I don't recognize. Not sure which gender/sexuality has the red and white stripes with the blue with white stars in the corner, but I guess it's an ok design. The rainbow is the traditional LGBT flag, though, so I feel it symbolizes the collective queer community a little better and will be a little more noticeable/recognizable than niche flags, like this stars and stripes guy.

[kjzx]

I've been playing slitherio these past few days, and after some time messing around with nicknames and my own experience with the stuff, I've realized anger is something very easy to weaponize. On my second attempt of having "trans rights" as a nickname I killed a huge ~5k point worm as a teenie tiny 200 point worm simply because it was so desperate to kill me specifically. Anger makes your life harder, but it also makes people really unwise. I fucking bet this is in "the art of war", even though I haven't read it.

[youngpettyqueen]

every day I have visions of transmasc Quark and transfemme Rom

[flyingorange]

To be honest I think the only way I would have ever realized I'm a woman was getting to experience transitioning, making it to the end of my transition and finding nothing there. There is nothing anyone would have been able to say to me that would have convinced me I'm not trans. I just had to experience it. People in my life said and did everything they could to try to stop me but when I stopped/paused my transition, it just made me want to transition more. If I never transitioned, I would not identify as a woman today--I would still be identifying as a pre-transition trans man.

I feel like my parents did me a great disservice by not allowing me to transition (socially or medically) as a teenager. If I was allowed to transition as a teenager I would have been trans for a few years and desisted before college and then been able to experience a normal adulthood from there on out. I was gonna take testosterone anyway, it wouldn't have mattered if I took it at 14 or at 20, it would have been the same effect--unlike most detransitioners I don't actually miss my body from before transitioning, and I feel embarrassed more than anything about how I used to be a female-presenting person insisting I was a boy. (I'd somehow deluded myself into thinking I was "passing" pre-T, but I truly was just a freaky girl telling everyone she was a boy.)

I think my self-esteem took a large hit growing up thinking that my parents hated me because I was trans, and also I didn't get to participate in sports or activities for either gender because I was not allowed on boys' teams but refused to join girls' teams. I think about all the stuff I missed out on and I'm not even really sure who I'm angry at; I think I just mourn that I spent so long waiting around to transition, just for it to turn out transitioning wasn't the right path for me.

So to answer your question: allowing me to fully experiment with my gender as a teenager (including changing my name/pronouns and possibly taking testosterone) would have helped me come to the realization earlier and make the process less stressful, at least in my experience.

@ women who identified as trans/nb as teens but later came to realize that they were women: do you believe that there's anything that the adults in your life could have said to you to help you come to this realization earlier and make the process less stressful? or would your sensitivity to invalidation and rejection have made this an impossible task?

[kumakuma-circus]

just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-