#so long as my time won't get absorbed by real life stuff

[thyeternalhunger]

A year of sollerets knights

Started drawing armors since I saw Kas 5e's concept art, seems like I've improved a lot on rendering metal.

Next year I'll definitely draw more knights, undeads and necromancers because KCD2 and Avowed is happening.

collection :)

[burningcheese-merchant]

A Thought About Burning Spice Cookie

I was kind of just going about my business today when I had a sort of... revelation, I guess? About Burning Spice. Looking back, I'm not really sure why it took me so long to think of this, but I like to live by the ideal "the best time was then, the second best time is now", so here we go.

Burning Spice was once the Herald of Change (or History, in the original Korean text). He was said to have fought for and defended fledgling civilizations in the distant past, protecting people and helping them in dark times. His throne decor even says he used to let people into his palace and allow them to engage in honest discussion with him about their problems, after which he'd get up and go out and do something about those problems. He sounded like a pretty swell guy... until he got bored with everything and went insane, of course. But here's the thing.

I think I understand why he ended up this way.

To put it as vaguely as possible, I do stuff in real life that may or may not have something to do with history as a subject. And I will gladly tell you all point-blank: history is fucking horrible. History is bleak. History is dark and cruel. The more you dive into it, the more it appears to you as a joke without a punchline. History is a drama, a tragedy, and a big fucking farce all at the same time.

Of course Burning Spice got tired of it. I get tired of it sometimes. Because sometimes, all history ever seems to be is a bunch of delinquents writing "I'm a bad kid" on the chalkboard repeatedly forever and ever. Just a bunch of bad people hurting each other for reasons that'll only come across as stupid long after they've all died at each other's hands. I'm sure Burning Spice started to think "what's even the point of building anything if someone is just going to come tear it down?" And it's hard to not think that when that's what ALWAYS happens. That's what history is a lot of the time. Brutal competition. A war of all against all.

The cure to the cynicism and melancholy history can and will inflict on you, at least in my opinion, is... to stop dwelling on it, honestly. At the end of the day, you have to remember that the past is gone. What's done is done. Things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You can't go back and save Lincoln from being assassinated. You can't go back and stop the Holocaust. You can't go back and save the world from all those wars and famines and disease epidemics. History both changes constantly and is unchanging at the same time. You have to make peace with what you cannot change - the past - and move forward, because time won't wait for you. We have to remember these things, these dark times; we all have a duty to do so, for the sake of those that came before us and those that will come after. But we also have to remember to live for the sake of those around us here and now. It is the present that shapes the world the most. It is in the present that we find true happiness. Not in the yellowed pages of old textbooks about the past and not in the pie-in-the-sky fever dreams we have about the future.

I think that's what fucked Burning Spice over. He forgot to live in the present. He was so focused on bringing about change, so absorbed in giving everything he had to everyone else, so invested in preserving the past and paving the way for the future, that he started losing sight of what was already there in front of him. His friends. His people. Too much time spent on the bigger picture and not enough spent on the tiny details that don't seem important at first glance, but when you look closer, you realize are what made the whole, entire picture as big as it is in the first place. He, like many do, like I do, began to see how cyclical and futile history can really be. He just saw people looking for reasons to hurt one another and destroy anything good they'd built together. Civilizations that were once grand and prosperous falling to anarchy. Clans with close ties turning against one another. Friend groups fracturing. All this hard work, undone, over and over again. And for what? What did they do any of this for? What did HE do any of this for?

I think his descent into villainy was slow, but sure. A little piece of his soul crumbling to dust with every person he felt like he failed because whatever great change he enacted was undone and everyone else suffered for it. And no one was ever really there to help steer him back onto the right path. Not his friends, not his family, not his people at large. Whether this was because they didn't know he was hurting like this (he seems like the type to keep things close to the chest anyway), they didn't know how to help or comfort him, or they didn't care, ultimately does not matter; regardless, it boils down to Burning Spice never being reminded to find solace in those around him right now, instead of constantly fretting over those before or after.

Maybe if he did remember, if he paid more attention to what IS and not what WAS or what WILL BE, he could've been saved. If he'd let Shadow Milk tell him more about his books and the little puppets he liked to craft. If he listened to Eternal Sugar play her harp more. If he sat and played a few more rounds of Go with Mystic Flour. If he had a friendly sparring match or two extra with Silent Salt. If he ate and drank and danced with his fellow spices like he probably used to like doing. If he stopped thinking he always had to be this larger-than-life figure who lorded over and protected society, and just let himself breathe and be a normal, happy person. It wouldn't make the ultimate folly of history sting any less, but he could have at least made peace with it and continued onward in spite of it.

But he didn't. He succumbed to history's poison, like so many have and so many will. And in an ironic twist of fate, which you will also often find throughout history, the tide of change swallowed him whole and drowned him. He let the failures of yesterday color his perception of today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. More and more people came across to him as bad actors until the whole world was just a devil's stage play, and it was being performed at his expense. Hard work and self-sacrifice lost their flavor. He tried to keep going, tried to keep pushing. Maybe he knew what was happening to him on some level and fought desperately to save himself. Put duct tape over the cracks in a dam, because that's probably all it amounted to, because the wisdom he needed didn't exist within him at that time and he didn't/couldn't find it anywhere else. Pushed forward even when he couldn't see where he was going anymore. Until every muscle in his body hurt. Until he'd lived long enough to see everything he ever lived and worked for be taken apart for scrap, for a vendetta, for shits and giggles.

Until he started looking at those bandits and warlords and terrorists he used to help put away and thinking... "hey. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If nothing else at all, they sure look like they're having fun. Way more than I am right now." Until he gave in to despair and grew bitter, and thought "well, if nothing I do really matters, if destroying it all is what makes people happy, then maybe I should give it a shot."

And then he became a bandit, a warlord, a terrorist. He turned into all those people he hated and continues to hate today. He cut out the middle-man and just ended lives before they could begin. Razed civilizations to the ground because that was what was going to happen anyway, whether it be by his hand or someone else's. What does it even matter? What does anything matter? This is all history is. Pain and suffering. He's only doing what's natural. He's solving problems before they can even occur, really. He's doing everyone a REAL favor. Destruction truly is the only way.

The best way to make the world a better place is to make the lives of those around you better first. Even just helping the one person makes a difference in its own way. Think less about making history by winning a war or toppling a regime and more about making history in an old person's life by helping them up when they fall down. Or making history in a dog's life by volunteering at an animal shelter. Or making history in your friends' lives by having a fun day with them that they'll remember and cherish even on their deathbeds. Change doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't need to be an all-consuming tide that rises above the tallest buildings. It can just be gentle waves and seafoam, washing over the sand and kissing one's feet. That's enough, more often than not. More than one might realize.

Maybe if somebody made sure Burning Spice kept this in mind, he wouldn't have turned into a Beast in the end.

TL;DR: History is shit. Him losing it makes perfect sense. It probably would've happened to me, too. Somebody should've been there to keep him grounded. Everyone failed him and he failed himself. Remember to live in the present. YO SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE

[illegiblehandwriting1]

HI! :D

Do you have any Four/Sky headcanons you have yet to share that you would like too?

*cracks knuckles* Do i ever. (a bunch of these will be just. straight from some of my fics but eh whatever i love them)

Four absolutely heard stories about Sky, particularly as a child. Sky was probably a cross between George Washington and, like, Odysseus to his era. Someone legendary, a hero just toeing the line between history and myth. No one's 100% certain he's real, but Four believes it. (So does Dot)

In Four's era, there is a constellation known as the Godslayer constellation. Enough said.

Sky's love of flying and his experience in piloting parallels Four's ceaseless examination of minute details. Four likes dealing in the little things that make big results, so he ends up being really fascinated with how exactly Sky's Loftwing can fly and how it evolved. And hey, giant specimen that won't eat him? Big win.

Four gets along so well with Minish engineers and scientists. It's scary.

Sky took up woodcarving as a meditative art. He couldn't focus for long enough (inattentive ADHD) so woodcarving became a way to learn to focus and complete tasks, and he just sorta fell in love. He probably learned with Gondo.

Speaking of, Gondo is probably his favorite shopkeeper at the Bazaar. Sky was totally the type of kid to pester him with questions and stories and anecdotes while he worked, and Gondo was kind and patient enough to let him. He also liked the company.

Sky and Four both seem pretty chill (one's a mom friend and one's pretty smart/inquisitive/has common sense?), which is why no one ever suspects them when they team up and pull the most ridiculous pranks. (Wild knows, though. His best friend is Flora. He knows how absolutely insane scientists are, and he and Sky regularly drag each other around on misadventures. When there is a prank war, Wild only makes Four's and Sky's favorite dishes. They scare him.)

Sky's soul doesn't display his physical scars. In Silent Realms, you can only see cracks and impacts where Guardians have gotten him. They glow.

Sky likes listening to Four ramble about cool stuff he's learned. He has no idea what Four's talking about half the time, but Four is always so excited to have someone listen that all of his walls come down and you can see the Colors more clearly. Sky adores it so much.

Speaking of, after Four Swords, i think Four came back together, but rather than being four people piloting a meatsuit together or just a single person again, he's more like a granny square blanket. He's one dude, but different characteristics will show more overtly depending on the situation, and when put under stress, the seams begin to rip until he has to use the Four Sword to split. Otherwise, he gets a super migraine and just can't function. Also, magic fucks with him.

I read a fic where Four had a stutter and that's canon to me now. Like. yeah.

Sky much prefers the application of things to the theory. He's a smart guy for sure, canonically breezed/slept through all of his classes and did well while Groose had to work his ass off, but while he was able to absorb the information easily, it just didn't engage him and he wasn't all that interested. His favorite classes were in the Sparring Hall and in the air on his Loftwing. As I said before, real ADHD guy.

Sky's Loftwing is named Bird. Sun's is Blue, and Groose's is Fast. I'm sure some kids made up cool names like Felicia and Arnold, but I love the idea that they were childhood friends before, like, middle school years, so they probably shared a single braincell.

Four ends up teaching Sky metallurgy and stuff when they get a chance to chill at the forge. Sky teaches Four woodworking/carving.

Sky is good at physics.

Four is like. SO autistic to me, what a guy, and the Chosen Hero is and has been a big special interest, so meeting Sky is like the best moment of his LIFE. He was probably trying to do some detective work with the other Links as subjects when he meets Sky and he just gets SO excited, it's adorable. Sky sees him, learns he's his successor, and immediately loves him forever. They are besties your honor.

also any version of FD!Sky

thanks for the ask!!! these two are my favorite dudes, i love them :D

[heartshattering]

I still haven't found a solution for being fatigued all the time. Caffeine doesn't help, doctors don't help, literally nothing helps and I'm at the end of my fucking rope. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I can't take prescription stimulants because I'd be putting my heart at risk but sometimes it really is tempting to see if I could go to a new doctor and not tell them about my history of arrhythmia and see if they'd prescribe me something (but I won't since 1 - I'm too scared and 2 - it's not like doctors here ever want to prescribe anything either way, IF you're even lucky enough to see a doctor since the waiting lists are long af).

I feel like I've been spending all day sleeping, and when I am awake, I'm absolutely useless. I have constant headaches, I feel physically uncomfortable all the time (too hot, too sweaty, too itchy), and nothing makes me feel 'good' anymore. My only relief is sleep, and even then it doesn't do much for me since I still wake up tired, sometimes even more tired than before thanks to my nightmares.

Idk, it's just disheartening to have to deal with this because this is seriously interfering with my life. And I feel like I can't do anything about it. I'll always be the person in the house who needs the least amount of help. My mom can't get out of bed so of course she needs the most assistance. My aunt is depressed because her husband died so she gets all the sympathy from people. And then my dad is working all the time so of course he has a ~real~ reason to be tired while I don't (even though he literally only 'works' so that he doesn't have to be around us, and spends most of the time doing stupid shit in his office like arguing in the comments).

Every day the list of stuff to do piles up, to the point where it's barely even fun anymore. Things I used to enjoy feel like chores now. I can't catch up with that series I love, because I always end up falling asleep while trying to concentrate on it. I can't try out that new game my friends are all talking about, because my brain feels too drained to figure out how to play it and I'm embarrassed that I'd just slow them down. I can't self-study topics that normally I'd enjoy, because my brain just isn't absorbing anything and it makes me feel so fucking overwhelmed.

Then, there's the ACTUAL chores... I can't clean my room, I can't keep things organized, I feel too exhausted to cook. My hygiene has gone down the drain, like I currently feel disgusting right now but I can't do anything about it. I haven't done laundry in the longest time, all my used clothes are piled up and they smell like (and possibly actually have) mold.

I take care of my mom and my dog, but that's it... when it comes to taking care of myself, I just can't. And everything feels like too fucking much.

[koffing-time]

//YEAHH woo cheese is back!!! hi cheese!!! (i mean. we've been in contact) but YEAHHH CHEESE BLOGS ARE BACK

Hey! You're a Poison-type user! This Trubbish won't leave me alone, and I caught him, so he's mine, I think? Is there any way to make him... smell less trashy? Koffing smell too, right? I know that one. So maybe you have some ideas, especially if you're running a café?

-@say-it-with-sizzle

Hi there! first off: congrats! Trubbish are usually not very social pokémon, so being chosen by a wild one is pretty awesome! (that doesn't mean you smell btw)

So, about his smell:

\\headcanon ahead (also long post so i'll make a cut)

Trubbish, like many Poison Types that have unusual diets (Grimer, Varoom etc), their smell and sometimes their appearance depends a lot on what they eat. I've looked at your blog, you're in Nimbassa right? If you caught your Trubbish there, i'm not surprised he smells atrocious. No offense to the people there, but it's a big city with many events and a lot of waste that is pretty disgusting. Imagine a mixture of burnt fireworks and gasoline from the amusement park and musical as well as greasy makeup, half eaten and spoiling food from sport events and whatever unspeakable things can be found in the battle metro? Sounds familiar bc your Trubbish smells exactly like that? (Be glad you didn't catch him in the sewers of castelia lmao)

Yeah... tl:dr get him on a diet that smells better.

You can easily mix some detergents or soaps (with parfume) into his food, he should be quite capable of digesting it and check if there's some stuff that smells bad that he's eaten. There are two things to consider for Trubbish diet though:

1: they need some sort of toxic compounds for their poison type attacks. You should be able to get him a proper assortment from like, cleaning chemicals. Parfumed detergents and stuff, so there is definitely an option for good smell (don't expect too much though, he won't smell like the flower fields near Opelucid). If he doesn't get any of these compounds, he might get stressed at the lack of self-defense options. He'll possibly also try to scavenge public trash cans or stuff like that, and you don't want that for multiple reasons.

2: Trubbish don't do much digestion. They mostly just absorb whatever they eat directly into their body (bonus of being amorphous i guess?) and it stays there until the energy is used up. This means, they often need rotten or spoiling organic food, (or rather the bacteria and molds and stuff) to help break down their (other) food, so they can use more energy quickly. There are foods that smell TERRIBLE when rotting, and other that are... okay-ish, and depending on what you give him, he'll smell similar. Technically they don't need these organic foods, but if they don't have access to them, they grow lethargic and are generally weaker.

Once you change his diet, he possibly won't change his smell significantly for 3 to 4 weeks though, because the stuff usually stays in their body for a longer time than "regular" pokémon.

That being said, please do provide him a proper toxic diet. I mean, he's basically perfectly happy with playing your trashcan. For real, give him food scraps, empty dish soap bottles and stuff like that (keep in mind the smell of whatever it is though). Only giving him (regular) pokémon-food is almost certainly make his life worse and prone to illness, stress and whatnot.

As for Coffee, my Koffing, it's a similar thing. He smells mostly like, well, coffee, because his diet is mostly that. As a result, he's also entirely non-toxic, because he doesn't eat anything that's toxic in the first place. It's really funny how some of the most toxic pokémon in the wild don't produce any toxins themself and just eat them to use them later. Also, Coffee doesn't feel the need to be toxic (i am definitely happy to provide him a proper toxic diet and he knows this). Your trubbish very likely feels different about self defense. So again, please provide him some toxic stuff.

And a little funfact: Koffing sometimes form competing gangs in bigger cities purely based on smell. Owners of Koffing who smell like a certain part of town have to be careful if they go to another one.

[brainyxbat]

Chapter 4: Luffy Gets Angry! A Dirty Trick Violates the Sacred Duel!

(episode 72)

As Broggy and Dorry began their fight, Luffy watched in awe from the ground, with Vivi and Karoo bearing the sonicwave.

"H-he blocked the blow with his helmet!" Usopp exclaimed from his, Venus, and Nami's place by Broggy's home. "If he was off by even an inch, he would've died instantly!" Dorry escaped a slash, which only cut some strands from his long beard, and shoved his weapon into Broggy's. "What a fight; each of their attacks is a mortal blow aimed at the opponent's vital point!"

"Wow," Venus watched with him.

"Those two have continued this duel to the death for 100 years?" Nami remarked, then smiled with relief. "But this is good; we can use this opportunity to get out of here." She began to walk away, dragging Venus with her, but stopped upon noticing that he wasn't moving an inch. "Usopp?"

"Incredible..." '"Reason? I don't remember."' He recalled Broggy's words. "Even without a reason, they're fighting so seriously."

"This fight sure is a bother," Nami frowned, before getting startled by Venus yanking her arm out of her grip.

"You idiot!" Usopp protested, still not moving away, as Venus sat on the log to watch. "This is what people mean by a real battle between men!"

Nami stared in surprise. "What's that about?"

"To use an analogy, those two fly a warrior's flag in their heart. This flag is even more important their life. In no way do they want it to be destroyed by others. That's why they've continued to take on each other for 100 long years!" The weapons clashed. "Do you get it? This is unmistakably a proud duel between warriors!"

"Wow," Venus breathed in awe.

Nami watched on for a few seconds, before losing interest, and walking away. "Whatever. Stuff like that doesn't interest me. Now, hurry up!"

"I'm gonna watch this a little longer."

"Me too."

"Venus!"

"This is exactly what my goal is. To be a brave warrior of the sea! I wanna be a proud man like them!"

Venus smiled at him from the log. "That's a great dream, Usopp."

Nami frowned in distaste, before sitting next to her. "I see... so you wanna be a giant."

Usopp flinched, and ran over to her angrily. "No!! Were you even listening to me?!"

"Moron," Venus glared at her, but went unnoticed.

"There!" She pointed behind his back. "Don't you have to watch them over there?"

Usopp turned around to start watching again. "If there's a village with warriors like them in it, I wanna go there someday."

-

Elsewhere in the jungle, Ms. Valentine was hovering above the trees. "I've got a good view from here."

"They'll find you, Ms. Valentine," Mr. 5 scolded, "Come down already!"

"Don't worry, Mr. 5; after all, they're absorbed in the fight. They won't notice."

"Just come down!" He commanded.

"Okay, okay." She reluctantly obliged, and dropped down to the ground gracefully.

"Hey, do you really get it? This is a big job for 200 million berries."

"Of course. Although I feel reluctant to do as Mr. 3 tells us."

"I know," Mr. 5 passed her by, "Let's go."

"Okay," She followed.

-

Meanwhile, Broggy sat on the ground to catch his breath. "We're both homesick, aren't we, Dorry?"

"That's why I'll beat you, and go back to Elbaf, Broggy."

After the axe and sword stuck in the ground, they started up again, this time shoving their shields in each other's faces. "73,466 duels..."

"73,466 draws..."

Usopp, Venus, and Nami witnessed their crashing back down, as did Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo. After a few seconds of silence, they both started laughing jovially. "Dorry! Actually, I got alcohol from my guests."

"Great! It's been a while since I had a drink. Give me some."

-

Elsewhere, Zoro heard the commotion during his hunt. "What was that? First a long, strange earthquake, and now this? What is it this time? Are there weird creatures other than dinosaurs in this jungle?" He then smirked. "Well, that damn cook is probably the only one who'd be happy to capture things like that."

"Were those bird cries?" Sanji wondered aloud from where he was looking around for catches. "Even so, those were vulgar, unappetizing cries. Although we're competing to capture a big prey, we're still looking for food." He smirked to himself. "That guy doesn't get it at all."

-

At the houses, a laughing Dorry was downing drinks while with Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo. "I see. His guests are your friends, huh? I saw a man with a long nose, and two women."

"That's Usopp, Nami, and Venus!" Luffy beamed to the princess. "Hah! They said they wouldn't get off the ship, but they really do like adventures after all!"

"Then you could also say that I got this alcohol from you."

They all glanced up at a screeching pterodactyl flying by. "By the way, Dorry-san, does it really take a year for the Log to be stored?" Vivi asked worriedly.

"Didn't you notice the human skulls lying around?" Dorry responded with another question. "Those who come to this island die before the Log is stored in most cases. Some become dinosaurs' food. Some suffer from heat and starvation. Some others are killed because they attack us. They all die... it seems that one year on this island is too long for humans."

Vivi's hands balled into fists in her lap. "What're we gonna do? Even if we could survive for a year, if that much time passes, I don't know what will happen to my country by then."

"Yeah," Luffy agreed, "I'd get bored too, if we stay here for a year. Isn't there a good way, old guy?"

"Hmm... we do have an Eternal Pose, but it's to our hometown, Elbaf. In other words, we're fighting for this Eternal Pose. Do you wanna try taking it by force?"

"That's no good," Luffy frowned in disappointment, "That's not where we wanna go. We just wanna go to the island after this one." He turned to Vivi. "Right?"

"Yes," She nodded, "If we lose the route to Alabasta, there's no point in moving forward."

"See?" Luffy turned back to Dorry.

"Then why don't you move forward randomly?" He suggested. "If you're lucky, you'll get there."

Luffy stared blankly for several seconds, before bursting into hearty laughter. "Maybe we'll do that! We may actually get there, huh?" Vivi stayed silent through the exchange.

"Come to think of it, there was someone who left before the Log was stored," Dorry recalled.

"What happened to him?" Luffy asked, as Vivi tensed up.

"How should I know?"

"He must've gotten to the next island."

"That must be it!"

Karoo was stifling laughter, before he flinched fearfully; Vivi was getting angrier by the second. 'What's so funny?' She glared, as they laughed together. 'I can't understand what they're thinking!'

-

"A brave warrior of the sea? What's that?" Broggy asked through repairing the handle of his axe.

"I'm talking about you guys," Usopp replied, "I wanna be like you guys someday!"

"Hm?" Broggy frowned in confusion. "You mean a giant?"

"See?" Nami grinned pridefully, as Venus facepalmed.

"That's not it!" Usopp exclaimed, then regained his composure. "I hope to live proudly just like the warriors of Elbaf!"

Broggy smiled, and laughed happily. "I see! Especially since our life span is longer than you humans', we think about how we die. Your assets, life... everything will eventually cease to exist. But if we die as a warrior of Elbaf without destroying our pride, that would be dying with honor. That pride is an everlasting treasure that is passed on in the land of Elbaf."

Usopp listened intently with deep admiration. "So pride is your treasure... that's so cool. I've decided... that I'll call you Master from now on!"

"Huh?"

Out of nowhere, an explosion boomed from inside Dorry's gut; Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo gaped in horror, as it sent him falling face-up, eyes rolling back, with smoke billowing from his throat. "Giant old guy!" Luffy cried. "What's going on?! Why did the alcohol explode?! That was our alcohol we had on our ship, right?!"

"It exploded in his stomach! His opponent must've laid the explosive!" Vivi guessed, as Luffy turned angry.

He jumped down from Dorry's chest, and leaned into her face. "What the hell were you watching?! They've been fighting for 100 years! No way they'd do something like this!"

"Then who on Earth..."

Behind them, a furious Dorry came to, weapon ready. "You bastards did..." He thrust his sword into the ground. "It wasn't Broggy," He panted, "We're proud warriors of Elbaf. Who else besides you should I be suspicious of?"

Karoo was already running away. "Let's get out of here now!" Vivi urged. "It's probably no use saying anything to him!"

"It's probably no use, even if we run." Luffy took off his treasured straw hat, and held it out to her. "Hold this, and stay back."

"Don't tell me! Are you going to fight?"

Luffy cracked his fingers. "I feel bad to do this to the old guy, but I'll quiet him down."

"Both of you, stop! Please!" Vivi pleaded. "Dorry-san, please listen! We really don't know anything about it! Anything about the alcohol that exploded! So please don't fight!" They continued staring daggers at one another. "You have to stay calm! Your insides are in bad shape right now!"

Dorry lifted his sword. "How dare you... do something so insolent!"

Luffy jumped away to avoid being crushed, before running up with the sword as leverage, and leaped in the air. "Gum-Gum...!" He prepared an attack, but was sent crashing back to the ground from Dorry's shield. He reached deep into the jungle, grabbed one of the trees, and launched himself away before he could get hit. Dorry coughed up blood, as Luffy flew off. "Gum-Gum...!" He prepared to go back in. 'I'm sorry.' "Rocket!!" He headbutted Dorry's stomach; but just as he seemed out of commission, his eyes reopened, and to Vivi and Karoo's horror, he stomped on him like a bug, as he recovered.

"Luffy-san!!" Vivi screamed.

Dorry panted through the pain. "So he has... the powers of a Devil Fruit." He fell to his knees. "I underestimated... him." After coughing up more blood, he collapsed face-down on the ground, sending shockwaves quaking throughout. A panting Luffy sat up, and turned to the giant. He wasn't moving.

"Luffy-san!" Vivi ran to him in concern, hat in hand. "Are you all right?"

He turned to her. "How's the old guy?"

"He's probably okay," She replied, "This is actually good. Otherwise, he wouldn't have calmed down."

He put his hat back on. "I'm angry!"

"What?"

"Like the old guy said, this alcohol explosion isn't the act of the other giant, and my friends would never do a stupid thing like this!"

"Then who on Earth..."

"There's someone else, on this island."

-

"Games are heavily influenced by people's state of mind," Mr. 3 said through pouring tea, "They are confused right now, by the cryptic bomb from an invisible enemy." He gave the teacups to Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine. "First, about our first target, Dorry the Blue Ogre; I knew it was impossible to finish him, but the damage he received to his stomach still must've been quite large. Now, we can drink some tea, and wait for the next duel to start."

"So we'll let the other giant take care of the injured giant, huh?" Mr. 5 guessed.

"That's right."

"That's quite a roundabout way of doing things," He remarked after a sip.

"The Warrior species are the same as wild boars, after all. We don't have to fight seriously, when they're only good at going head-on, since even if we can't win power-wise, we have brains to make up for it." Mr. 3 chuckled evilly, before sensing he was being stared at. It was Ms. Golden Week, who sat at the window without making a sound. He tried to ignore her, but her eyes bore into him. "Geez, get it yourself, Ms. Golden Week," He griped, handing the teacup over.

"By the way, what're we going to do with the Straw Hat gang?"

Mr. 3 turned to Mr. 5. "Straw Hat?" In realization, his top knot straightened up like an exclamation point. "Oh yeah, the small fries that found out the boss' secrets. Well, we can just lure them out one by one, starting with whoever's convenient to my "secret set." My motto is "big crimes via cheap tricks." There're many ways to defeat enemies without actually fighting."

Ms. Golden Week held out her empty teacup. "Mr. 3, refill please."

"Hey, me too," Mr. 5 requested.

"You guys!" Mr. 3 raged. "Take time to savor it!"

-

"Ah!" Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo turned to the volcano when it suddenly erupted, several times.

"That mountain is, if I'm not mistaken..."

-

"This isn't good," Zoro remarked, "I'm running out of time." When he stepped on something hard, he stopped and looked down; it was a baby triceratops. "Ah, sorry." He drew his foot away, only for it to bite his shoe. "Ahh! Let it go!" He tried to wave it off. "I said I'm sorry! Hey!" He didn't realize he was being watched through the struggle. "I don't have time to mess around! Let it go!"

"The time out signal has rung," Sanji observed disappointedly, "Having no prey isn't even funny. Damn." In a tree behind him, a saber-toothed tiger was watching ominously.

-

"There's the signal," Broggy pointed out to Usopp and the girls, "It's quite active today."

"You're going?!" Usopp asked in surprise. "Your wounds from that last battle still haven't-"

Broggy held out his axe in determination. "It's nothing! We're both in the same condition!" He had no idea how wrong he was. He laughed, as Usopp gulped. "Making excuses during a merciless fight to the death would spoil my name!"

-

Elsewhere, a pained Dorry pushed himself on his knees, not giving up. "Hey! Wait, old guy!" Luffy called. "Don't go!"

"You can't go, Dorry-san!" Vivi urged. "You need to keep still! You'll die if you push yourself too hard!"

"I, Warrior Dorry, am here... at the very least," He coughed up more blood, "I will fight to uphold the name of Elbaf!" He regained his footing, as the three could only watch.

[wretchedmosses]

Cycle

I woke up at 9 today, but I left my bed at 11. It always seems to happen that way. I just lay there until my hours are gone. Hoping noone sees me, that I'll be left well enough alone for a little bit if I don't move much, that things will be quiet and I can sleep. Eventually, I do get up, though.

My head is heavy. I feel weak, there's something gummy between the ears. That means I haven't eaten enough. My hair feels greasy as I touch it, I haven't showered in a little while. Maybe a few days. Those are both better than they used to be, I think. There isn't much in the house, so I start to make some toast. My father is awake now, he comes to show me the news he found today.

Malaria and dengue fever are running rampant in our home state, and the podcasters he likes have mixed feelings about the Barbie movie. cool.

The toaster pops at me loudly, insistently. I don't remember putting the bread in. Guess I got absorbed in his talking. These things he talks about have a way of biting. I think as I work in the kitchen, think about the danger we're in. The money I've made and spent and it feels like on nothing in particular, but I don't know if I'd be here if I hadn't spent it and I don't know how much longer I could go on making it. The new workplace is crushing me with nerves. I've never worked an office before, these new people are terrifying and they expect me to speak to them. It's only been a week and I don't know if I feel better or worse than I did at the last job, or during the time between. Everything seemed dim and hopeless then, but it's not that it doesn't now. I guess what I really wanted was something to take the time off my hands. So they'd stop shouting me down for my hobbies, so I'd be a real adult. Do I feel adult?

Oh, the toast is jellied and plated. I could make some tea or coffee, but my teeth are getting worse. I should be saving for my first dental appointment, but I have a whole list of stuff to save for, and I still haven't decided how I'll budget, have I? I guess I'll put that on the list today.

It's a big list now. I don't know if that's good.

The tasks seem to fill a gap there for a while, but I'll feel bad when not all of it is done, won't I? It's all so important, too. To someone else or to me, and few in betweens. It doesn't feel very adult for a to-do list to be so thoughtful and crushing. They're not very outlandish tasks for my age or anything.

I'm sitting to eat now, and I haven't even written any of my tasks down. I'm starting to lose them already. What did I just say I'd add?

I've eaten, and I'm not in so much pain or exhaustion when I stand. My head still feels wrong, but it's been a while since it felt right. Maybe the shower will do it. Or the water, or the tasks. I don't know how I can be so strong to think about other tasks when it's so hard to take care of myself already.

Is that strength? Is that adulthood? I don't feel strong. I don't feel grown.

I wish there had been more time, but I don't rue how I spent it. I was happy in those days. I didn't know the sun well then, but with it missing, I miss it so badly now. It's sunny, but my sky is dark.

In a week I won't remember today. I'll pity my past self for thinking it was so bad then. Or maybe I'll weep for the state I was in. I can't see the bottom, I can't even feel if I've hit it. Maybe that's why I feel sick, and my head is reeling. I hope I've gone as low as I can. There might still be hope of reaching the surface again.

I'm going to have my shower. I'll drink my water, play a game. I have a meetup with my friends tomorrow, and with my DND group today. That thought makes me smile a little. Maybe I'll go for a walk, too. It's not good to be inside so long, my freckles are fading. I'm sure my dad won't like that, but I don't want to think about that. There's a happy picture at the end of the line. I think I can make that a scene from my life. Maybe it's just a matter of the effort I put in. I haven't got much left in my bones, but for joy, I'll lift with my whole back.

[denimbex1986]

'Believe it or not, Oppenheimer won't be the first time Cillian Murphy has played a physicist named Robert who is responsible for a bomb that will change the course of human history. In 2007, he starred as physicist Robert Capa in Danny Boyle's Sunshine, a sci-fi thriller set aboard a spaceship in 2057. The sun is dying, and the film follows a crew of eight tasked with launching a massive "stellar bomb" into the sun to reignite it in humanity's last hope of preserving life on Earth. As the ship, Icarus II, makes its way toward the waning but still deadly star, things, of course, begin to go wrong, due in part to human error, in part to human evil, and in part to the terrifying whims of nature.

The premise might sound a little goofy — a bit like a reverse of 2003's The Core — but it's actually quite grounded thanks to writer Alex Garland's dedication to scientific realism. He and Boyle brought in physicist Brian Cox to consult on the film and to help anchor the premise in real scientific theory. There's still a bit of hand waving involved — for instance, it's never explained how the interior of the ship has Earth-like artificial gravity, one of the most complex problems facing actual long-term space missions. But the movie feels realistic enough that it's easy to overlook such omissions. The film is also surprisingly absorbing, carried by Danny Boyle's masterfully slow build-up of tension, plus strong performances from a stacked cast that includes Murphy, Chris Evans, Rose Byrne, Michelle Yeoh, Mark Strong, and Benedict Wong. The sun itself is also very much a character, its power and proximity having profound but disparate effects on each crew member.

'Sunshine's Production Was Not Your Usual Movie Set

Boyle put the actors through the wringer to achieve those excellent performances: over the course of six weeks prior to filming, they watched movies together, including classics like Das Boot, The Right Stuff, and Alien; went to science lectures; toured a nuclear submarine to get a feel for the claustrophobia of a spaceship; went scuba diving; experienced weightlessness in zero gravity simulators — Boyle himself took a ride on the infamous vomit comet — and even lived together in a minimalist college dorm. As Hiroyuki Sanada, who plays Captain Kaneda, told SciFiNow in 2019, “We had small rooms, no TV, no refrigerator but a shared kitchen and every night one of us had to cook for everyone." That experience was recreated in an early scene in the film, when engineer Mace (Evans) complains about navigator Trey's (Wong) cooking, to which Trey responds, "If you don't like it, you take my shift next time." Boyle also insisted on using physical effects to stand in for the computer effects that would be added later, so the actors had something real to react to.

Brian Cox Helped Cillian Murphy Realize Robert Capa

Although the cast is ostensibly an ensemble, Capa is our primary point-of-view character. His voiceover provides the opening exposition, and he is the only character we see recording video messages to send home. Murphy spent extra time with Dr. Cox, even shadowing him as he worked at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) in Geneva — home of the Large Hadron Collider — and sitting in on meetings. According to Cox, Murphy picked up mannerisms and speech patterns from the physicists around him, which show up in some of his improvised dialogue. In fact, the experience had such a profound effect on Murphy that it changed him from an agnostic to an atheist. “Not just because I spent time with these guys," he said in 2007. "They just confirmed what I’d always suspected."

Cox, who worked as a professional musician for the bands Dare and D:Ream while earning his Ph.D. in particle physics, often sports a band t-shirt under his blazer and doesn't look like a stereotypical physicist. The resemblance between Capa and Cox is unmistakable, from the shaggy hairstyle to the wiry build to the youthful handsomeness. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Cox later praised Murphy's performance as "brilliant."

Capa’s demeanor — usually calm and grounded, but punctuated by moments of both dry humor and intense terror as everything goes to hell around him — is reminiscent of Murphy’s breakout performance in another Boyle-Garland collaboration, 28 Days Later. While the entire crew understands well the enormity and significance of their mission, only Capa truly grasps the power of the Manhattan-sized (an apt analogy) bomb they tow, as well as the sheer insanity of their plan to launch it into the sun and escape with their lives, protected only by the gigantic but far from indestructible gold leaf shield that stands between the Icarus II and instantaneous incineration. The weight of this knowledge hangs over Murphy's character, who is outwardly in control of his emotions, but perhaps just barely.

'Sunshine' Is Finally Getting the Appreciation It Deserves

Despite largely positive reviews, Sunshine flopped at the box office, failing to make back its $40 million budget, outshone by more fantastical franchise fare such as Spider-Man 3, Transformers, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Some have speculated that a summer release — which forced it to compete against the aforementioned blockbusters — was a mistake, particularly in the film's home base of Britain, where winter is the more popular season for theater-going. Others believe the film was too cerebral, and that extremely high-concept sci-fi à la 2001: A Space Odyssey just didn't have much of an audience in the late 2000s. Today, although it hasn't quite garnered a cult following, the film has gained greater appreciation as more and more fans of the genre discover it and fall in love with its cast, smart writing, and that beautiful, nerve-strumming tension.

Although Oppenheimer is set in the past rather than the future and is grounded firmly on Earth, Murphy's performance in it more than likely benefitted from his time spent working on Sunshine and learning from today's most brilliant physicists. As Danny Boyle knew, even a baseline understanding of the subject matter can help an actor add a level of nuance to their performance that wouldn't be possible if they were going into the role completely ignorant. I, for one, can't wait to see how Murphy brings that understanding to his portrayal of the Father of the Atomic Bomb in Oppenheimer, which hits theaters Friday, July 21.'

[unboundtravels]

🎲 hello this is for Miles’s multimuse ( I’m at work 😔✌🏾 ) and reapcrbunny

𝑀𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲

@poswiecenia/@reapcrbunny

send  🎲  and i’ll place our muses into this generator and post the resulting muse combinations and a few ideas on how to make it work! 

 Okay, Miles. I went ahead and picked out some really good ones here. I featured my Request Only muses to spice things up. We're already doing some pretty fun stuff with Looney's Babysitting Adventures and Scarf & Razor's Space-Last of Us extravaganza. So I picked out some succulent pairings here that I think might be up your alley.

LUMINE & RASSILON [Late Time War]

I'm not quite sure why this one popped out at me so much. I think Rassilon & The Travelers is always an interaction I've wanted to pursue for a long time. The Traveler Twins are implied to be immortal, from what I understand— and while I won't assume why it is they flee— a personal headcanon I have is because their homeworld was destroyed. Most specifically, I like to headcanon that when Gallifrey was in it's infancy, Rassilon organized some pretty nasty stuff in order to steal their technology and absorb it into the culture. Now, imagine during The Time War— when Rassilon is at her most deranged... the survivor of a race she truly loathed and wished to stamp out of history is brought before her throne. Tasty.

Personification of Death * The War Master

The Master is easily death's champion. During The Time War, The Master revels in the chaos. He takes advantage of The War to it's fullest in order to further his own schemes. He revels in it, and as such exudes a gentleman's personality despite his disgusting acts of cruelty and malice. In a period of time where Death is arguably at their strongest due to the chaos brought about by The Time War— The Master earns an audience with his patron. Despite not even being informed of being Death's Champion, The Master delights in the role... until the purpose of Death's invitation is made clear: "As my champion, I thought you might as well know— there's no escaping this war, and there's no winning. Run and hide very far... or else you might get swallowed up whole."

Personification of Life * The War Doctor

If The Master is then Death's champion due to all the chaos he brings and the destruction he delights in— then The Doctor must therefore be Life's Champion. Although the amount of death and pain he's suffered through may make you think he's Death's... he's a champion of life. Though they have never formally crossed paths, The Doctor has done his duty as Champion faithfully— despite not even being aware that's his role. He simply helps because he can, and because he wants to do the right thing. That's why despite abhoring violence, never carrying a weapon, and outright opposing the Time War... he still joined. He had to. He didn't have a choice. Though, even when he threw away his title of Doctor, he was still doing the work of a champion for life. He did everything he could to try and stop the war. He tried to win it, and when that failed he tried to force both sides to stop... and when that didn't work— he did all he could to try and avoid the only real solution. Despite it all, though— there is only one way to end The Time War. There's only one way to stop Death from sweeping across the whole of reality. Faced with the The Moment in which he must decide whether to end it all— destroy both sides utterly and completely with one big bang... or let the universe fall into chaos... Life appears before her champion. Nobody should be alone for this.

Ruan Mei * Cardinal Mantis.

As mentioned in my last post with a character in the genius society: I just don't think The Timelords & The Genius Society get along that well. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and when Mantis seeks out Ruan Mei to basically poach her from the genius society, he brings a pretty banger offer to the table. "Join our side and build us weapons— Don't even worry about anyone else just make the most effective weapons you can possibly construct against The Daleks." And boom— a wartime science plot in which Ruan Mei becomes a prolific Gallifreyan Weapons Engineer. This could spin out into a whole AU tbh. If she decided to join in on the war, anyways.

DAHILA * THE BUMBLE DOCTOR [Experimental] 

The Bumble Doctor is insane. That's it. That's the plot. No, but in actuality The Bumble Doctor is this sort of fusion of the Seventh Doctor, the Thirteenth Doctor, and she's got a dash of some of the Shalka Doctor in there. All great labels, but what does that mean? Well, she's a punk-rock-college-professor who wants to live a party girl lifestyle while also harkoning back to her golden years as The First Doctor. She's a crazy little mean girl who is definitely a Doctor with Darker Shades due to her more complex morality. She's living a pretty shady lifestyle because of her eccentric quirks and her rude personality. She's punk, she wants to be a rebel now more then ever— and Dahila could definitely be a companion for her if she can handle that chaotic lifestyle. Maybe they might even do crimes and kiss a little. It's how Bumble rolls.

[the-firebird69]

These people are getting to work and they're going up there and they're doing stuff and getting out of our hair but boy they mean assholes that are fighting each other all the time and the managed to feed you and stuff and so it's mild but why the kind of really really all day long the next s*** and calcium buildup and all those dumb s*** all day long the occupy themselves doing it and it's going to be surprising what's going to happen but not to us. And that brings us to the next line

They're about 50,000 warlock that are evacuating that are higher ups out of 250,000 they say they can't stand the people here the attitude or anything that's going on that sense of take me with you and he knows they can't the island would be overrun in minutes and he says we're going to be left with s*** and she said I can't help it I have to have a break from this crap cuz what about a job up north in a factory when a French Canadian car company says maybe so just holding on for it and here it is and she's going up there to be a manager and his apparel division and isn't apparel division for this mega car it's not a supercar or hypercar and Daniel wants to speak to her and they're going to have a meeting and set it up and it involves hard attack and also stuff and is thinking about the light cycle company and it would be the real life cycle but he says it's going to attract a lot of attention and some California thing in California is kind of weird like they kind of blame everybody and it's like this big absorbing machine so he knows about any kind of agrees but it's different it's different gear there is some heart attack but not much it's mostly race car stuff and she loves it and she wants to race a car for women and he says why not drag racing he says why it says it'll be the top drag racer and it's a woman I think and you can get a race with her then you can enter in the race car circuit but Daniel says there isn't one for that car and there isn't really but he says Lamborghini makes one and he says I'll have to extend the challenge and it's going to be a go on that and a son and daughter approve it and we do and she wants to do the drag race cuz she can hear the lady it's like Kristen McCullough for something and that's who it is is that a long-term rivalry drag racing. They're imagining their racing and Christa McAuliffe says have a nice time parking lot in your driveway it says no I'm going to park that in my driveway after I win the title and they smiling and she doesn't think it'll work but our son knows is faster. She has to get in shape and juice so she won't pass out and put a special seat in now she's wondering what she's getting into top speed is 3,000 miles an hour and we're not going to put in the special doodad and we might limit it by the intakes to about 2,800 miles per hour but it'll go 6,000 if I have my check in it and she says Jesus Christ I said no that's my brother and she says wow that's incredible to watch the show and he's getting chastised but seriously by Hera they're going up there and doing it and we're getting it going we have the stuff there the chassis the body parts the factory he's meeting over there and we sent apparel and we want her to head it up the manufacturing the sales and she says I can hear who I want for the Salesforce and he says yeah and make it as big as you want and will help you and we'll open facilities who says for now he wants to stay up there in Canada cuz the nature of the car the smaller cars can race right away inches into interested now there's four sized cars all of them are intense and he wants a piece of Aston Martin with his e-car and it's not for electric

They're firing judges today and Dave next door got fired. There's other things that are happening 200 morlock went to the State House finally from mutant rights and they said where mutations and we have a right to life too. And yeah they're getting our son in trouble that he would have been in trouble anyways cuz that's what they call him so he says I'm going to get my lawyer you little jerks and they kept on protesting and they're looking around and vital and got his wife came out almost in character and said I heard you here and you need a lawyer he was telling him to take his s*** and jam it up his ass , our son says professor x go ahead.... There's a silence in the gas start laughing he knows this is how it gets you down here said no this is how he treats people are mean to him touch and I wave my hand which was awkwardly large and I said no I'm not big hands Malone but I know who he is he's a fighter and we need to fight other people because we agree and we're going to march today he said I'm going to find some more people even like Bob birdies so they're going up there and they're marching around he says they got to give you a peaceful keep it legal drug free incident free so he's trying to do that and they're telling him no and you're saying yes and Sasquatch went up there and they're saying they have to calm down and their protesting and it said this is great we even have a lawyer I throw it away but we need one it's going on now. And there are other things happening

There are large groups of people running around saying we're going to get you and they're more lock and they're getting arrested and they're going to jail most of prison and they won't come back after doing it.

Huge numbers of government workers are acquitting globally and evacuating and they're quickly replaced it is a giant Exodus and the people find out they will leave

Thor Freya

This last short paragraph is most important part I found it very interesting

Hera

Endorse this message to go out and Zeus is here with for his wife but wants her thoughts to stand out for people to see

Olympus

[holytrickster]

🐯🏔️✨🗣️💚

ahh thanks for the ask! ok long post incoming-

🐯For the most part, I already see myself as my 'types, at least mentally/spiritually? I guess I kind of just identify with the idea of being all these things (guardian angel, elf, rabbit, etc.) but in a human body, but also kind of..not human? It's difficult to explain, lol. I definitely do find myself wishing I was physically closer to what I was/am, though--I especially miss my wings, mainly because it'd be incredible to fly again, but I also find myself missing the elf ears! After all, if it wasn't for those things, I really could have been mistaken for a human most of the time, besides being a couple different animals before. (Don't even get me started on the previous human lives I recall, lol.)

🏔️The biggest thing for me has definitely been going out in nature when I can; it makes me feel more like myself and just generally more grounded in the present and in my body. Also the moon and the night, mainly because of the connection I had to Varda as an elf, but I also just really vibe with the moon and stars😅 It also just definitely gets me in an..animal kind of mindset sometimes, because of being a rabbit, deer, + coyote (also potentially fox? But i think maybe that's its own kind of thing)

✨Hmm that's tough. I guess sometimes being referred to as my types or by old names I've had makes me feel validated, because it feels like..being believed that my experiences are real, if that makes sense; I still deal with a lot of self-doubt sometimes and convincing myself I've made things up, despite being aware of these experiences and feelings for a couple years now.

🗣️Not my family, but some of my friends, not the ones I made in school or anything because I don't even think they're absorbed enough in internet stuff to know what I'd be talking about lmao. Which is a little silly considering it's not like it's some extremely recent phenomenon. But there are certain people I confide in about these things, because they've also talked about their own experiences so I know they won't think I'm crazy or whatever 😅 I was definitely that kind of person when i was younger that thought certain things online were "cringy" and really everybody that sincerely talked about this stuff just wanted to be "special", but with time I started to learn that, no, none of this is a choice. Definitely coincided with my "not like other girls" phase, the internet was not the kindest place to be when I was in middle school or whenever I first heard about otherkin.

💚 I think, for instance, my time as a guardian angel really made me appreciate humans and mortality more? Like the knowledge that I chose to be a human multiple times over so I could better understand them and how to help them in the future--I think that gave me a better appreciation for this life; there's so much I can experience now that I never would've even dreamed of. As much as I struggle with self-worth sometimes, the one thing I like about myself is that I try to be as compassionate as I can, and, idk, I just feel so much? And that life and my time as an elf both just really influenced my spirituality and how I view life in general, and as hard as a lot of that has been, I also wouldn't change it for the world, because it gave me something to hang onto in the really bad times. Plus, this is kinda silly, but sometimes I just?? Really like what I am? Like it just makes me happy sometimes that I'm just this forest creature and all these things, it just makes me who I am! I would never have the friends I do or the sense of community I feel if I'd never learned these things about myself, and I wouldn't trade those friendships and bonds for anything !

[lunaticus-platina]

So I saw @blood-and-silver 's ghost!Travis idea and that gave me a thought. Imma throw in the cents that my brain just spat out. Feel free to use this idea bit I posted for fics and stuff.

What if the counselors all think he's dead but his body is in a coma. Chris moved him from the hospital to their family home or somewhere in the woods or smth(despite their bitch mother's protest), and maybe Bobby or someone moves his body regulary to prevent bedsore. He got all sorts of tubes, monitors and stuff plugged into him, and his spirit doesn't stay in that room for too long because it reminds him of his current helpless state and the burden he's putting on his family for simply being alive.

Maybe that makes his self-destructive tendency even worse and makes him want to move on for real. All that negative thought weakens his will to live, therefore, his soul's bond to the body, and the more it happens the more life Eliza gets to absorb from him like a leech.

His sense of responsibility and love for the family is the only thing that keeps him bound to the area, to his body. Also due to his unusual circumstance and Eliza's curse, he gets stronger during the night, especially when the moon is bright. If it's full moon, he goes full corporeal even, and only the older, higher-level ghosts could achieve that, but his will is so strong, that and the curse not only takes from him, it empowers his spiritual side, so both of them combined he is a force to be reckoned with. Especially if he's mad or determined. Or both.

But it also has a downside. The more ghost power he uses, the weaker the link between his soul and body gets, and one time, he over-exerted himself, and his body suffered cardiac arrest. After seeing Chris completely break down over it, Travis has been more careful using his powers.

I dunno. Maybe one of the counselors find the secret room, or a secluded cabin or smth and there's an unconscious man lying on the bed, surrounded with all sorts of medical equipments. Obviously Travis won't reveal that he's still alive, since his body is his weakness, so for them to find out the 'Patrolling Phantom of Hackett's Quarry' is not actually a phantom? That'll be quite a reveal.

If he does manage to wake up, it'll be awful. Sure, he's alive, but ow. Everything hurts. He's so disoriented, so weakened after 6 years, it doesn't help that he's old, and he didn't realize until now that a body could be this heavy and cumbersome. But with the curse gone the body quickly recovers, although he's still bed-ridden for awhile. Fluffy reunion maybe. I never leave constance alive in my stories so assume she's a goner😊 Only Chackett Thackett tearful hug and good vibes everyone. The kids got their uncle back! And they know he cared for them for all those years too.

He'll look at life in different light and maybe learn to enjoy his second chance.

Felt like being fluffy 'cuz I had a decent day. Travis x Happiness forever.

[conscience-killer]

18, 20, & 23

GEMMMAAAAAA MY DUDE! <3333

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Hmmm. I don't think I get influenced as such, but I do feel that some of my best stuff gets written when I'm in the middle of reading a book. I think I absorb things somewhat, yanno? I basically go, "Ooh, words are good." And then words happen.

For example, Lost Souls Forever was written while I was reading NOS4A2 (hence a few references in that fic), See That Animal was written while I was rereading Stephen King's It, Figure It Out was written while I was rereading His Dark Materials, and All His Suits Are Torn was written while I was rereading Intensity.

I'm currently rereading Good Omens while I work on Father of All Motherfuckers ch. 2. (And there may or may not be a couple o sneaky refs in there. 😂)

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

I'd like to write in long sit-down sessions, but it's mostly little spurts. My old job dictated that I had very little time to sit and write as much as I'd like, so I'd basically have a day a week where I could really get stuck in, and I'd just squeeze in whatever I could whenever I could. That being said, I start a new job next week (first time in 20 years, yikes!) and it's an actual full-time position with actual full-time office hours so I don't have to write around shifts anymore. Hopefully it won't hinder my process too much. :D

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Oh, Gemma. :') I shall link the Shit I Done Referenced document, because there's a fucktonne of real-life experiences in there, obscure and otherwise, particularly in the Sunny fics. Having a gentle background in substance abuse helps just a tad with those lol.

Here’s a couple of examples in case that whole doc is TL;DR:

Charlie chewing the ecstasy is a reference to a real-life situation from my misspent youth. Essentially a friend joined us quite late on in the night, he was pretty drunk/stoned/whatever by this point. We handed him an E, as one does, and instead of just dropping it like a normal person the poor bastard stuck it in his mouth and chewed it – very, very slowly. The look on his face was priceless as it dawned on him what he’d done – he went from grinning like a guy who’s just been given a free pill to ‘OH DEAR GOD MY TONGUE MY TASTEBUDS WHY DID I DO THIS’. Suffice to say he took a long drink after that lmao.

And:

Frank’s inability to cross the street due to car trails happened to a friend of mine back in the day. (Thankfully not myself, but I did have a conversation/argument with Michael Douglas on the cover of ‘The Game’ whilst dabbling with acid. Kids: Don’t do drugs.)

Aaaand:

Charlie drinking his mom’s perfume is a reference to an event that happened in my youth, where we dared a friend to drink some Old Spice. He ended up pissing through the neighbours’ mailbox.

There’s a bunch more but you get the gist lol.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

After six long months, I present to you:

Tupelo Honey

Word Count- 3k

Warnings- language, angst, discussion of abortion

A/N- With help from familiar strangers, Honey makes a choice that will change Leon's life and hers forever.

Chapter 4: Angel of The Morning

Late fall of 1968, Morning:

Honey clutched at the pillow as her hips flew towards the ceiling. Her back arched before she bent forward and twisted her free hand in Leon's thick hair. His name echoed off the bedroom walls as she came without caring if they woke Johnny this early.

Honey’s chest heaved as her body attempted to regulate her breath. Leon threw the sheets back and looked up at her. His hand absently ran up and down her stomach to her breasts and back.

“What?” Honey’s voice was sleepy as she met a green-eyed gaze. She propped up on her elbows when his brows knit together. “What's wrong?”

“Not much, love. It's just, your..” Leon's cheeks turned kinda pink, “stuff tastes different. You been eating anything new?”

“No? You mean it tastes different when I cum?”

“Just this time. You gonna start your thing?” He pointed towards Honey’s sex. “Period.”

“I don't think so. Should be around any day now though.”

Leon crawled up towards the pillows and laid down beside his girlfriend. His arm draped across her collarbone as he snuggled up to her shoulder. He nipped at the skin before kissing it. Then pressed his forehead into her neck.

Honey caught a scent of herself on him. “It even kinda smells different. I better get to the clinic just in case. I've not felt that weird other than that stomach bug.” Her nails lightly scratched Leon's forearm as she spoke. “I can't have an STI, since you went all mad and demanded my undying monogamy.”

Leon ignored her. “Maybe,” he yawned and stretched his impossibly long arms and legs straight out, “you caught a case of the pregnancy.” He sat up and leaned down to kiss her stomach.

“Don't say that!” Leon's familiar whine filled Honey’s own voice. “I won't keep it. That's legal here now.”

Leon stared back at her, “Just like that.”

“It's my body, Leonidas. Look at how short I am. Imagine this knocked up,” Honey waved a hand down the length of her naked self.

“I do.” It came out a whisper. Honey glowered. “Don't pull that face on me, Gracie. I know it's your body. We just ain't exactly safe with our shaggin’ are we? Leavin’ it up to chance. Then you get angry if there's one on the way. Keep it. End it. Give it up for adoption. I know it's YOUR choice. You tell me all the bloody time about it being your body. I respect that because I love you. Before you give me cheek, I think about having a baby with you loads.”

“Leon that's not what we want.” Honey sat up on her haunches beside him. “Look at us. We share a one bedroom flat with a ginger con man that we don't even sleep in half the time based on whether he wants to fuck someone or not. Our loo is literally a closet, and we have to shower at your parents’. There's one dresser and half a wardrobe for both of us. Where the hell would we even PUT a baby let alone afford to have one.”

“We've saved money! My parents would help us get a proper house or flat. Or stay with them until we could.”

“Oh sure. Us, your parents, your Yia Yia, one uncle and a baby. Sounds cozy.”

“I grew up in a place with more living there than that. We could get a loan.”

“What will we put down for occupations, Leon?!” Honey was losing her cool. A wave of nausea hit her, but she choked it back. “Occasional actor, waiter, and FBI fugitive?! I can't out myself like that.”

“We lie. I'm an actor. I'm sure you know loads of people who could fake it. Look respectable. I'll cut my hair and clean up my face.” Leon was equally annoyed, hands fidgeting in his lap. His legs started to bounce up and down as he reached, but fumbled with the nightstand drawer.

“Don't you fucking dare cut that hair. Who will we even pretend to be? Patti Boyd and fucking George Harrison? I'm an awful blonde and your hair would take hours to straighten. Leon we would have to fake marriage certificates. That's fraud. Real and proper, honest prison time fraud.”

Leon ignored her and finally yanked the drawer practically in half. The handle came off in his hands causing him to mumble under his breath and drop it to the ground. In a fury he tossed the contents aside in a search for something Honey wasn't sure of.

“If you're about to get high, I'll fucking leave you right now.” Honey got up and snapped her fingers in Leon's face. “We're not done talking about this.”

He looked up at her, his green eyes ablaze for the first time in their relationship. “I'm not GETTING high! Will you quit talking to me like I'm a bloody fucking child? You and Johnny always like I'm mad or deficient. I have a university degree from Cambridge, and I speak three languages. I'm observant not stupid.”

“That's.. That's not what I meant,” Honey bit her lip. “You are one of the smartest guys I've ever met. I just.. Worry about the amount of opium you started sneaking into your pot. You're working less and letting Johnny call the shots.”

Leon was lost in his search, “You’re just jealous of someone else pushing me around?” He waved his hand dismissively before Honey could answer. “I’m fine, love. I'm just a bit stressed is all. It helps me relax.”

“Leon, it's heroin. You know what happened to my uncle.”

He ignored her, “I’ll be swell. Promise. Plus I think this idea Johnny has finally.. DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT TOSSER OF A RING?!”

Something fell off the bed onto the wooden floor with a PING! Leon got down on all fours, stark naked and put his eye to the wood. His arm outstretched and came back to him with an object between his long fingers. He held it aloft towards Honey and took her tiny hand inside of his large one. Honey stopped breathing.

“It's not exactly proper, but you aren't exactly a girl into convention, are ya?” Leon smiled up at his girlfriend. He kissed the back of Honey’s hand. “You think better of me than I think of myself. I want to make you happy, and I want to be a good husband and daddy. If this meeting tonight doesn't go well, I'll stop acting. No more pot or opium or acid or coke right bloody now. I'll get a proper job and we can get a proper house and when the time comes, you choose whatever you want. Stay home. Go to work, I'll stay home. So you aren't loaded down by the patriarchy or whatever.”

“Leon,” Honey’s face was pale and she started to swoon. She saw the way his hand swallowed hers, and panicked. Her fucked up brain saw herself lost in Leon the same way.

“Even if we go to the court, just us. Even if we have to leave London because you're worried. I'll go with you. To India like you sorted out before we met. I don't want you to give up on any dream because of this baby. Or me.”

Before she could get any answer out, Leon slid the ring on Honey’s finger. It was stunning, carved marble and amethyst. She knew it was old, Grecian.

“It's purple because Dionysus cried and spilled his wine onto a maiden he offended by his drunkenness. Artemis protected her, turned her to crystal and she absorbed his wine. It sobered him. Your love, when I'm not foolish, will sober me.”

“Leon,” Honey said again, unable to say anything else.

“Will you please marry me, Gracie?”

The question was so pure. His eyes were so green and hopeful. Honey couldn't think or speak around the lump in her throat. But then..

“I can't,” she whispered. “I have to go to the clinic. You've got an early shift at the restaurant.”

Honey was numb as she pulled on some clothes and her coat. She left the flat and Leon naked on his knees in the bedroom.

----

Later that afternoon:

Honey stared straight passed the nurse as she explained exactly what would happen if she decided to not keep the baby. How they suggest she not be alone and to have someone willing to care for her. To make sure there's no infection.

“Ultimately, dove, it's your decision. Unless you're cold-hearted, it might do your head in. It's not as easy as you modern girls think. You might not regret it, but you might. You prepared? Is your husband keen on this idea too?” The nurse nodded at the ring.

“Oh.. we aren't.. I didn't really give him a choice?”

“Well let's see if you're even pregnant first. Then I want you to go back to your partner and have a good talk. Promise me you'll do that?”

The young woman smiled. It was tentative and nervous. “Yeah. Ok. But it won't change my mind.” She held out her arm for the blood draw and took a cup and left for the loo.

Honey sat on the stairs of the clinic and bent down in a wave of nausea. It was amazing that now she knew she was knocked up the symptoms seemed to worsen. Like how noticing a paper cut makes it suddenly sting.

Her breasts were swollen and a fire built in her chest and stomach every time she laid down. What was the absolute worst, she came to realize, how mean she had been to Leon. A total uncool bitch. Honey looked down at the amethyst on her ring finger and began to cry.

“Hey man, you ok?” a voice asked. American.

“Jesus, don't call her man! What is wrong with you?” a female American voice.

“Leave me alone! Last time I was here, I was in Vietnam. I'm freaking the fuck out, Sel.”

“weren't you a cu-”

“Uh!! This is about them, not me.”

One of them sat down next to Honey. “My brother is right, are you ok? Honey, right?”

Honey looked up to meet eyes that almost took her breath away. A young woman around her age smiled and it reminded her of Leon. Her shoulder length hair had soft waves and curls, but her eyes. Her eyes somehow looked like Honey’s.

“Do I know you?” she squinted her eyes and tilted her head.

“Not yet,” the woman’s cheeks pinked a little. “We're.. Leon's..”

“Cousins!” a male voice interjected.

“I didn't know Leon had cousins from- Fuck me on the tube.”

“Tempting, but I don't think Leon would be down for that.” The inflection of his voice, despite being yank, was so much like his.. cousin’s. “My sister and I have been looking all over this stupid city for you the last few days. To meet you before we left. Leon told my sister you were here. He seemed pretty pissed. This is an uh,” he gestured at the building.

“Abortion clinic?”

“You sure that's how you want to handle it?” the young woman questioned softly.

“Well I don't think Leon has the balls to push me down the stairs,” Honey shrugged.

Leon’s cousin, if that's who she was heaved a sigh. “I like to think I have a sharp tongue and a bit of a shrewd mind. I get it from MY mom. Can I be straight with you?”

“I mean I guess it's easier from a stranger?”

“I know for a FACT you won't be giving up on anything. You are already more involved in changing the world than most people your age. And that doesn't have to stop because you're pregnant. Activists can have children or partners. Take her with you! Take Leon! You come from a long line of shit kickers, right?”

Honey narrowed her eyes. She studied this woman’s face again. Her eyes. HER eyes somehow. But Leon’s features. If she had a daughter, this is who she would want her to be. Sharp, like herself, but optimistic like her daddy.

Daddy.. “Did you say her? How do you know any of this? I swear Leon’s family is here or in Greece. You've got to be close, this one is like fucking Patty Duke. Identical cousins. Man you sure you're cool?”

He scratched his body and Honey heard a tinkling. Then she saw the dog tags. “Yeah I'm gravy.” He looked the way Leon had when she rejected him earlier. It broke Honey’s heart all over.

“Drafted?”

He held out his tags and had this longing in his eyes, “Love.”

“You went to Vietnam for love?”

“I stayed for it. Hardest thing I've ever done besides sobriety. Having a kid and an old man is a fucking piece of cake. If you were gonna go through with.. Termination, I think you would've done it right?”

“I just don't know if I have good enough of a reason besides maybe it'll be fine. I don't know what is freaking me the hell out! We both have happily married parents!! And grandparents. But I've put so much on hold for men. I've let them.”

“Yeah but Leon’s not like that.”

“No. He's not. But the drugs and the hare brained schemes terrify me. My uncle, Lenny Bruce? He ran cons with his wife that he knocked up and they were just. Tumultuous. He loved heroin almost more than Honey and Kitty. It killed him in the end. I don't want Leon and I to be the fluke too.”

“If I tell you to say the FIRST thing that comes to your mind about Leon. No thinking, open your mouth and speak. What is the first part of him you think of.”

“His kind eyes. Your eyes,” she gestured towards the man. “Yours are a bit lost, but they're still just as gentle.”

He bit his lip. Honey noticed it trembled just a tad. “Same thing,” his voice hoarse. “What's the first thing that you would DO for him?”

“Be with him in every life we've ever lived and ever will.”

The woman beside her took Honey’s hand in both of hers. Her annoying familiarity forced Honey to listen to everything she was about to say.

“My parents came from a similar taboo situation. They were immigrants (my dad twice), during the worst war. Activists who got in a bit of a mess. They were separated for a while when my mom was pregnant with me. She had me alone. Yet they have been together for OVER 25 years.”

“I cannot imagine two people better suited for each other than my parents. They trust one another IMPLICITLY and are both still very attracted to one another. Trust me. It's gross.!

“Now they have a successful business. My younger brother and I have our own jobs to pay for ourselves, but our parents are paying for us to go to school. Marriage or partnerships are work, but I have seen that it's worth it. I hope I can be as fearless as they are one day.”

Honey took her hand back and rubbed her face. “Why are you two so hell bent on me staying knocked up? Like there’s something real heavy you're not telling me.”

“We're just like, REALLY invested in Leon’s happiness!” the woman exclaimed.

“Or we could just tell her? I saved Dave that way.”

Honey narrowed her eyes, “Convincing.”

“You and Leon and this baby are going to literally save the world?”

“Alright,” Leon's doppelganger decided to take a turn. “Someone took me away from our mom when I was just a baby. I was raised pretty abusively. But I found my parents, OUR parents,” he gestured at his sister. “They just.. welcomed me in, AND my other adopted siblings.”

“You are so, so much like her. You and Leon are like BOTH of our parents. Really we Kostases.. Kosti? We leap without looking. If we fly, we fly. So I know what Leon's decision is. You said it yourself, he's worth being with in every life you live. Isn't that your answer?”

Honey sighed again and stood up. She looked back and forth between the man and woman claiming to have her best interest at heart. The siblings with her eyes and Leon’s. “I can't just rush into this.”

“Says the woman who fell in love on the set of a porno film.”

Honey ignored him. Ignored how he knew that. She put her hand on her stomach tenderly. “I have to say, if we have this kid, I'm not sure why, but I hope it.. she's like you. What's your name?”

“Selina. After the moon.”

Honey smiled in a knowing way. “Stick around, I'm sure Leon would love to see you.”

“We can't, but you'll understand all of this one day.”

“I'll see you again?”

“I promise.”

Then Honey and the cousins parted ways. She and Leon had a lot to discuss.

Tag: @neuroticpuppy @elliethesuperfruitlover @messengeronthemoon @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung @forenschik @nightmonsters @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private @frogs--are--bitches @ghouls-buddy @a-ghoulish-tale @bwritesstuff @icecoffeegirl @070188

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Dangerous Love (Pt. 02 of 13)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?

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{Justice League - DC Masterlist}

×

Confessions:

You're up when Bruce comes, a tray in his hand, resting your back against the headboard, playing with your hair.

“Aren't you scared?” You ask him as he locks the door and puts the keys in his pocket.

“Scared of what? You?”

“Of the information I have now. Do you have any idea how many people would pay me to know who's the man behind the bat's mask?” As you speak, Bruce puts the tray on the nightstand. A sandwich and orange juice. You can't remember the last time you ate something so... Normal.

“What? Don't you like orange juice?”

“No, I...” The memories fill your head, like a flood. Tied up to the bed, people hovering over you. But you push it all back. You're a criminal, as dangerous as the Joker or Harley, your beloved sister. You're used to such treatments, and you don't care. “Won't you put all of it in a blender, then feed it to me through a straw? Put it on my nose and push it all the way down to my stomach.” You can't help but laugh at Bruce's face. Disgust, perplexity. “Oh, chill. That's nothing I can't deal with.”

“Haven't you noticed it yet? That I won't hurt you? Or treat you like an animal?”

“Well, you are keeping me here. Against my will. A golden prison is still a prison.” You're trying not to let the food get your attention, but you're starving. And the fact that it's real food makes it even harder.

“I'm only keeping you here because I know that if I set you free, you'll go back to your old life. And will probably end up in Belle Reve again.” Bruce gestures at the tray. “Eat, please.”

“If you ask so nicely.” Taking the tray, you place it on your lap, leaving the glass on the nightstand. Controlling yourself, you take a small bite, trying not to let it show how good it tastes. It feels weird to chew again, almost unnatural.

“I have to say a few things, so pay attention.” Bruce starts, eyes on you. “I'm aware they had you... Sedated... in Belle Reve. And from now on you won't be taking anything else then what I judge necessary. So you'll feel the reactions of the detoxification.”

“I will need painkillers. Heavy stuff.” You tell him in between bites.

“Are you hurt?”

Laying half of the sandwich down, you put the tray away, getting on your knees. “Wanna see how's the skin of a Belle Reve's intern?” Smiling, you lift your shirt, showing him your belly, stomach and ribs. You look down too, eyes observing the pattern of purple bruises, all over your skin. When you look at Bruce again, you don't understand the his expression. It looks like he cares, but there is no reason for him to do so. He's a hero, and you're the villain, his only job is to put you down. He's not supposed to care. “Don't look so surprised, Bruce. I'm used to it. I'm constantly high, so the pain is distant, numbed. Without what they give me... It will hurt.”

“Finish your sandwich.” He simply says, looking away and pacing around.

You decide to obey him just because it does taste good. The juice too. When you're done, you lay the tray back on the nightstand. “So... What now?”

He seems troubled, nervous. “Come and sit here.” He gestures at the armchair. Rolling your eyes, you do as he says. He's seated before you, and you feel like you're in a therapy session.

“May the interrogation begin,” you mutter, crossing your legs and arms.

“I want you to be honest. I just want to understand you.”

“What do you think you can get from that?” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean forward. You try to read him, to understand why is he doing this. Then you remember that he wants to prove a point. “Oh, I just remembered. I'm your project. Your lab rat.” What else could you be in the house of one of the heroes?

“Wouldn't you like to be able to have a normal life? A job you like, your own place, coming and going as you please?”

“I had all that before being thrown into hell on Earth.” As you speak, you feel your head spinning. Is it the detox working on already? You feel a fog in the back of your mind, and you feel your muscles relaxing. Taking a deep breath, you run a hand through your hair. This is not detoxification, this is something else. “What did you gave me?”

“Just something to make you tell me the truth.”

Laughing, you bite your lip. “You're amazing, I have to say.” Your mind is slower, you feel it. You wonder if your body is slower too, or if you could try to escape again. But Bruce is on high alert, you can see it. His eyes never leave you, watching your every move.

“How was your life? Childhood.”

“I know you read my files, Bruce Wayne. Ask something you don't know.” You hate feeling numb. Hugging your knees, you close your eyes shut, trying to shake away the feeling.

“I want to hear it from you.” His voice is distant, like an echo. Is it too much to ask to be left alone? To be awake, fully in control of yourself, your words and feelings... “I'm just trying to help you, and to do that, I need you to be honest. And since I didn't know if you'd cooperate, I had to give you-”

“You're only giving me what you judge necessary, right?” You hiss, face hidden on your knees. “Ask away, Batman. My life is an open book to you and to anyone who thinks to be better than me just because they have the upper hand.”

“Both my parents were killed in front of me when I was a kid.” Bruce bursts out, and it makes you look at him immediately. “I saw their dead bodies, the blood... That night is still a vivid memory, it never leaves me.”

You don't know what he expects you to say. You don't have good memories with your parents to say that you know how he feels. “Bad mother. Dead father, never met him. Harley left home early so I was left alone to deal with a drug addict mother. High School was nice, but that was when I started going out with Harley. Late night parties, dangerous people. I started to learn things, to enjoy those things... Then I knew I wanted that life. It was easy money, easy fun, and people respected me because I was under Harley's protection and she was under the Joker's protection.” It comes out, it doesn't matter if you want it or not. “The story of my life.”

“In the first two years of High School, your grades were high. In senior year, they started to drop. Was that because of your sister?”

“Yeah. I just wanted it to be over, and when I managed to graduate, I left home to be with Harley. But soon enough I built my own place, my own empire, and I didn't need her anymore.” This thing he gave you really works because you're not saying the words you want to.

“Why did you enjoy doing what your sister did?”

“It was so fun... So... Dangerous. The adrenaline is addicting and I never really... I never really...” You bite your tongue, holding it back. You tell yourself to be strong, to get a grip of reality, that you can beat whatever is affecting your mind.

“You never really what?”

You're breathing fast, wondering how long until this damn drug is out of your system.

“You never really what?" Bruce repeat, his voice soft and low.

“I never really had anything else. Anyone else.” It comes out, fast and heavy. “My father died when I was a baby, my mother was a damn drug dealer who made the mistake of tasting her product and I had to keep the few friends I had away from my messed up life and the only way to do that was to push them the hell away.” You feel dizzy, covering your head with both hands. “The more time I spent with Harley and her crew, the more I learned, the more fearless I became and the more they respect me. They feared me.” Why can't you stop talking? Your body isn't trying to get rid of the drug, but it's still absorbing it, making it run through your veins to fulfill its purpose. “I didn't need their kindness, their love, their affection because I could have their fear. I had them do as I said when I said it because they were scared of me. That's the only thing I know!” You're yelling, leaning forward to face Bruce. “I can't be rehabilitated because I don't even know what it's supposed to be like. People don't care about me and I don't care about them. People don't love me, and I don't love them. People aren't kind to me so I won't ever be kind to them. They only do something for me because I have a gun pointed at their faces or because they know I can snap my fingers and have them hurt. This is who I am! This is the mess, the chaos that I am and you're an idiot if you think you can fix me!”

You don't care anymore. You just need to get the hell out of this place. The key is in his pocket, so you attack him. You aim a punch to his face knowing he'll grab your wrist, and when he does, you use the opening to his stomach to kick him hard. You're thrown away, colliding to the side of the bed, but you don't stop to pay attention to the sharp pain on your side. Bruce is standing up now, but his size doesn't scare you. You've fought men like him before. You're used to have a gun, but being unarmed won't make you step down.

Using all your strength, you push his chest hard, succeeding to place a punch in his jaw. He doesn't move much, but it's enough to give you the opportunity to kick his crotch. But Bruce sees what's coming, kicking your leg away and from under you, what sends you hard to the ground. You lay on your arm, and a sharp pain spreads through your left shoulder. Your body isn't working as it usually does. It's slower, it's hurting... The damn drugs they gave you are wearing off. You need to get out of here before they're out of your system.

When Bruce steps closer, you move up to grab his arm, pulling him down as you kick both his legs with all the strength you still have. He collapses the floor beside you, and you take the chance to punch his face again.

“That's enough.” He yells, grabbing both your wrists with one hand, and a groan escapes your lips when he squeezes them to push them away from his face. You're moving to kick his ribs with your knee, but you're lifted up suddenly. You feel pure agony as you violently try to set free. Bruce uses his free hand to grab your legs and throw you on the bed. You're ready to set in motion again, but you're caught off guard by a wave of pain.

You start counting mentally. This is the second day here. It means three days ago you were in your cell, and you remember them injecting the medication. They still wanted you to sleep. But you also remember the slight discomfort that you started feeling a week ago. As if your body was more awaken then usual. It's not like they don't want you to be in pain, they just want you to keep functional, so you can endure more pain without being motionless in a bed for days.

“How long... How long did you have them reduce my drugs?” You ask him, catching your breath.

“Nine days.” He simply answers, fixing his clothes.

“I need something for the pain.” You touch your left shoulder with the right hand, closing your eyes shut. “Shit.”

“Let me see it.” Bruce comes closer, and you open your eyes to see if he'll try anything. He bends over, pulling the arm away from your body. You wince, biting back a groan. “A subluxation.” He pushes your shoulder back, and you hear a crack before a new wave of pain spreads through your arm.

“What the hell?” You exclaim, pushing him away with the other arm.

“It was just a partial dislocation of the shoulder joint. But it's back on its place now, you will be fine.”

“I thought you said you wouldn't hurt me,” you mumble, breathing fast, still holding your shoulder.

“Are you kidding me? Am I supposed to be let you beat me? Because I know what you're capable of.”

“Are you scared of me? You. Six feet tall, a mountain of muscles. What? Can't you take a beating from me?” He can. “I can take a beating from you, hero. I've been taking beatings for a year now, on a regular basis.” You have to push the memories away before they flood your mind. The numbness from the medication makes it worse since you're awake to feel the hit, but the body isn't. You know it hurts, that it'll hurt later, but you keep being hurt. Over and over again, non stop. “I asked them to stop once, during my first week there. Do you know why they were beating me that day?” You stand on your knees, holding your left arm close to your body. Your stomach burns and you feel tears in your eyes, but you hold them back. Tears won't get you anywhere, anger will.

“Because you attacked someone." Bruce seems so sure of it, that it makes you laugh.

“I demanded a coat. A damn coat because it was cold!” You're yelling, fighting back the tears, laughing instead. “I asked them to stop, big mistake. It only made it worse. From that day on I decided to just take it. To endure it because that's what I deserve.” Lifting your shirt to show him the bruises, you feel one single tear rolling down. “See this? I survived through every single one of these.” Why are you crying? You don't cry. Clenching your fist, you bring it against your ribs hard, and the pain that follows is greater than you expected. You gasp, falling forward.

“Stop it." Bruce takes both your wrists, pushing you to lie down “If you do this again, I'll chain you up.”

“Don't worry about me,” you mutter, smiling. “I can take this.”

“I don't care if you can take this, I don't want you hurting yourself.”

“I don't need to hurt myself, everyone else does it for me.” Your voice is weak, and you look away from him. Bruce let's go of your wrists but doesn't move. He's seated on the bed, right beside you.

“I know it's hard for you to understand it, but as long as you're here, nobody will hurt you. I won't hurt you.”

With a hand on your forehead, you avoid his stare. “If it was the other way around... If I kidnapped and kept you in a room, locked... You'd be scared too. You would know I was going to hurt you.”

“It's true. But I didn't kidnap you.” You feel when he stands up, watching as he pulls the armchairs back to their places. “I choose you because I want to help you. If this works, I might get you a pardon. You would be free.”

“I admire your hope, Bruce Wayne, but you just don't understand. I don't know how to deal with people anymore. The only relationship I know is the ones where I give an order and it is obeyed. Anything other than that doesn't exist. Not for me. I'm a criminal, I meant to be hated.” You're not proud of this, not now. There's a part of you, deep down inside, that wish it could change. If only you could go back in time and change things... But now it's too late. You are who you are, the person you built yourself to be. “Give up. Throw me back into Belle Reve before I get used to nice baths and comfortable beds.”

“I'll see you tonight.” He says before leaving the room, and you sigh to hear the door locking.

You're used to the loneliness. Turning off the lights and closing the curtains, you lay in the darkness. You follow the logic of Belle Reve. Since there's nothing to do, there's no reason to keep the lights on. Darkness is where you belong, they say, then live in it. And so you do.

You have a good notion of the time passing, so you count the minutes, one by one. There's no way to know where you'll be tomorrow, if Bruce will accept the fact that this is stupid and send you back. But maybe it's for the best.

No, you have to focus. An opportunity. This is an opportunity to escape, and you need to take it. You can't let anything else get your attention, or distract you. You have to use this chance to go back home. To the only dirty, cold place you can call that.

×

@redwolf-7 @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21

[aimai-ronri]

Reworking the Fuzzy Gaming Quest

This is the first time I've ever blogged publicly about something like this. I usually talk to friends about it, but I just as often don't say anything, because when I talk about video-games I get hyperfocused and sometimes the conversation takes a long time, so I often feel like it's a bit rude to get people wrapped up in it. But I remembered I have a tumblr now and people actually blog on here sometimes, so: prepare to suffer.

To set up why I'm so weird about games allow me to explain: first of all, I'm obviously not neurotypical in some way I don't know but one day would like to figure out. SECOND, I've been playing video-games literally since I can remember. My first real memories of cognition are watching my dad put cartridges in the NES, and climbing on the bed to put our Thai bootleg cart in there myself so I could play weird sprite hacks of Super Mario Bros. So anyway, gaming has factored heavily in my life since the beginning.

Anyway long story short, this has led to, for a long time, me wanting to leave some kind of legacy behind me in the form of a trail of beaten-up old video-games. Often this takes the form of just wanting to curate out a collection (physical or unholy--I mean digital) that I can leave behind in some state of completion, but on top of that it comes as me wanting to sit down and truly spend time with the games that are most important to my history over the course of my lifetime.

This has led to me making innumerable 'systems' for approaching the task of having a humongous backlog of video-games (some might say longer than is completable than anyone in a life time, and I recognize this) and often these systems get replaced or revised for being inadequate in some way. The latest no-thought system on my part was the Fuzzy Gaming Quest, in which the goal was basically to play through games starting from the beginning of time and blasting through at hyper-speed, with the intention of covering as much ground in order to induce familiarity as fast as possible with arcade games from an era I've rarely played (but longed for in my old man's soul).

This was working but I quickly ran into a snag (after recording about 250 videos 😥): I wasn't spending as much time with individual games as I'd like by any means. On one hand, I was backlogging games I was enjoying just to get them out of the way and continue the progress. On the other, sometimes I wasn't sure how much time you'd even spend with a game to consider yourself familiarized enough to rank it in some way, without necessarily having to beat everything (who has the time?). Not to mention arcade games that have no viable ending for the regular player (Pac-Man, Galaga, etc).

So anyway all this is leading up to me explaining the next iteration of the Fuzzy Gaming Quest. Here's a picture!

What you're looking at is essentially a 7 day scoreboard for various games that I selected out as important during my previous pass through the 70s and most of the 80s. These are all games I wanted to play more of or possibly log in a list.

7 days is my naive answer to how long I think would be good to spend on a game, in order to get competent enough at it to get a decent score and/or feel you've experienced your average game enough to go ahead and put it somewhere in a list. It might seem like overkill for a simple arcade game (though I'd argue you need to play repeatedly and give your brain time to absorb it to get the true experience), and it may seem like underkill for an RPG (though I'd argue that most RPGs probably aren't changing much more if you've been playing for 7 days already, but this doesn't forbid from continuing to play if I choose to), but this is my naive and probably flawed answer, anyway.

This is meant to serve the purpose of: - Progressing reasonably fast (notice this is a list of basically banger games everyone has heard of, I will probably only include a few games here or there that are lesser known that I just happen to like--I'll also be avoiding some consoles intentionally that I don't particularly like (like the Odyssey 2, sorry, it's my list though--convince me otherwise if you like)) - Filtering into some kind of "best of" list (if I don't even want to play it for 7 days (in brief sessions), it must not be very good after all and doesn't deserve to be on any best of list I would leave behind me--games that I do get through the 7 days I should understand enough to rank competently enough to make myself happy) - Giving me an excuse to spend more time on the games that really matter to me, today, in case I get hit by a bus tomorrow - Giving me a target for when I'm able to comfortably say I've experienced a game enough and don't need to feel bad about moving on if I want to but still haven't "beat it," and also leaving room for playing more if I like (I can sort it, take it off the board, but finish it anyway on the DL) (Also, if I do beat it, I can stop there with the board) - Satisfying whatever kind of ADHD thing I have going on by allowing me to keep a variety of games on rotation for some amount of time and not just getting stuck behind one game at a time - Breaking game experiences down over multiple days to allow a longer time to think about them and grow accustomed to them, also to allow me to fit them into my busy schedule by playing Space Invaders on the toilet for ~10 minutes - To leave behind a journal of high scores or information about how far I got in various games as I plod on

So, you may (rightly) ask: What's the point of all this? Why can't I just play games that I like and call it a day?

Well my first answer would be, "shut up I know you're right I just can't, my brain is broken," but my second answer, the one I would say aloud, might be that I really have always wanted to take a targeted approach to going through all of game history and that's what this is in service of.

I have no false expectations about getting all the way through game history up to now in one lifetime, at least not without sacrificing a lot of games in the process. I definitely won't ever get to the point where I'm always keeping up with contemporary games. It's lucky for me that I mostly fell out of favor with games around 2011 for various reasons, but really it had been a steady decline of interest since about 2005 or so. I have a shorter-hand target, but if I were to ever reach it, I'd like to keep going on, even if it means playing PS4 games in 2061 when I'm almost as old as my dad is now.

Anyway, your second question (and wow, if you made it this far) might be: "so what does this mean for your tumblr, which I care about intimately after seeing 20 posts, and was gutted when you temporarily took a break, and have been looking for meaning in my life ever since?"

Well, true believer, if you want I might post my 7 day high-score for various arcade games or something along with some pictures or videos of high points of the game (when I get to games complicated enough to have cool art). I haven't decided yet. I'm open to suggestions! I'd love to see people try to (and succeed!) at beating my scores (I'd feel like I influenced someone into maybe playing some old, great game they wouldn't have before deciding to just then).

If nothing else I hope it was interesting to see my thought process about this stuff.

If that's not true, I hope you were entertained by a write up of someone's journey ever deeper into video-game delirium.

And yes, I will get frustrated with the system and change it again in approximately a month.