#so like. thats a Bad Thing actually. but he didnt ask abt anything like that bc number go down = good
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definitelynotshouting · 9 months ago
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Can I ask, since you mentioned agreeing 'even if under duress' - how did the Watchers convince Player Grian to join them in hunger au?
So take this with the specific grain of salt that ive never watched Evo directly (but have friends who have ((thank you wren)), so i know tidbits via osmosis from them), but my thought has always been that the riddles the Watchers gave the Evo Players were all tests used to measure cleverness and intelligence-- the whole point of them attempting to copy the mind of a Player into a Watcher larva in the first place was to try and avoid the insanely high infant mortality rate their typical juveniles go through, bc they dont understand their own limits enough to even know they have them yet. So they needed a Player they knew they could instruct and who would listen to them, and, well. Grian, for all he was rebellious and outright defiant of the Watchers, still solved their puzzles and only had to be punished once before he stopped trying to mess with them
What ive always pictured is after the dragon fight the two main elders of the Watcher colony finally revealed themselves to Grian properly-- i have this crystal clear image of the two of them hovering above and next to the central end island, looming over Grian, and like, these guys are big. HUGE. A good 5x bigger than the ender dragon itself, at LEAST. It would be hard not to feel insanely intimidated by that, honestly, especially when there are two of them side by side, blocking your entire view of the End from that direction.
Anyway picture that with the context of these two giant floating winged worms youve never seen before, who have demonstrated their powerful ability to manipulate code in a way you cant.... telling you that they have chosen you to become one of them. Thats an immense amount of pressure, both from flattery and fear, especially considering theyve punished you before for defying them. I like to think even then, Grian balked a bit, and while i dont have exact dialogue beats here, i know the Watchers continued putting that pressure on him (likely while leveraging his friendships too-- like ive always said, if Grian hadnt been chosen, BigB wouldve been, and i can absolutely see the Watchers offering to take him in Grian's stead) until he finally caved and accepted their "offer" of joining them.
Unfortunately, he didnt find out exactly what that entailed until it was far too late.
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#evo watchers#watcher!grian#grian#evo smp#tldr they pressured tf out of him to do it#through both flattery and also leveraging his own fear against him#he was a Player after all. they were likely bumping his mood post-dragon fight to make him more suggestible#the most painful thing abt this to me is that the Watchers still werent being deliberately malicious here like#with the way they viewed Players this was NORMAL to them#they just. didnt rlly consider them as much more than food/hosts for their young. in their eyes the Watcher that emerged was different#than the Player it had hatched from#even though it had Grian's mind memories personality and stats#every day i feel shrimp emotions abt this#the horror he went through..... and they never once thought of it as torture#they never once regarded Player!Grian as something that needed to know what was going to happen to him#bc it was normalized to them. yeah sure Watcher juveniles hatch from Player hosts thats NORMAL thats part of their life cycle!!!#the only new thing is this one would still retain the Player's mind#it was a fucked up science experiment basically and grian wasnt told ANYTHING before it actually happened to him#sobs and cries ohhh grian i fucked you up SO BAD huh#also huge shoutout to my friend wren for giving me a little context while i wrote this and confirming my ideas slotted in#rlly well with existing canon. character understander status continues to stay intact im winning#txt
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liquidstar · 10 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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bidilfs · 2 years ago
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it’s actually wild that medical fatphobia is so relevant that even i (someone who is not fat) still see it firsthand. like what are we doing man
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sanchoyo · 2 years ago
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ik i said i wanted to do at least 2-3 personal solo zines this year aside from the one i already put out but im having such a hard time deciding on a topic?? 'random art zine' or 'sketchbook zine' feel too random kadhfkj. and the only thing ive been MEGA into lately have been my own ocs but making a zine with them would feel weird..also very niche lmao
#also i really dont like the idea of putting my silly oc stuff behind paywalls if im being real ajsdkf theyre goobers free to the world#if i didnt need money i wouldnt even consider any of the zines being paid zines#id just make em all free forever bc i rly do just enjoy sharing stuff like that#but alas...the horrors (being poor + severely mentally ill so i need money sometimes for things) agh...#everytime i sell stuff or make some money with comms something happens like i need to buy pet stuff (food or litter or my dogs expensive#flea pills but they NEED those bc ticks and fleas here in the summer are actually SO bad he needs the vet grade tablets to handle them)#so basically my debt isnt necessary getting too much worse which is good! but its also not..improving bc i keep havin to buy necessities#im not buying anything crazy or nyhting just absolute must haves yk..and yet#oh well at least ppl buying the clothes means ill free up a lort of space if nothing else like even if theres no actual..profit HSDKF#theres two boxes worth of clothes haha...it makes me happy to think ppl will wear them tho since im not anymore#ive been very unhappy w my own clothes augh :( i want to be happy wearing things but idk. idk. nothing i have is sparking enough joy lately#ive bene living in pjs...going to public places in pjs...#very out of character for me but god lol my brain lately#i got some more books at the libraby today when i was picking my nephew up tho :) so that made me happy#theyre all art related !! so mostly pictures + artists talking abt their techniques#all landscape related bc i wanna do more complex painted bgs this year and dip my toes into traditional art a lot more. my sister is#actually a great painter so maybe ill ask her for pointers. but then again thats kinda embarrassing so maybe not#sanchoyorambles#BASICALLY YES MORE ZINES ARE MTH I WANT TO DO BUT IDEAS. NOT WORKING RN
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allthedamnlove · 9 days ago
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after rewatching the proposal scene for like the millionth time atp i feel like i wished when sofia mentions there's something she's done bad with hollis and rafe immediately counters that he's done worse things she doesn't know of i wish instead in response to that she says "rafe but i-i need to tell you this before that ring slips on my finger" like in that moment she tells him. i feel like if he blew up in her face and they subsequently broke up (also the angst in a scene like that would've served so hard in person as opposed to a 5 second phone call where they're distances apart🤨) his actions and scenes after it with the pogues would look even better bc there's a build up of mistrust and anger boiling inside of him that the pogues would ultimately face unknowingly that was actually instigated by a breakup and furthered by his history with the pogues, i feel like his scene with sarah "no, you're just going to screw me like everyone else in my life" would hit even more bc it's almost an accumulation of mistrust and betrayal that has happened to him built up to that one moment through his friendships/relationships and family where he's been lonely with no one to fend for him until sofia and sarah visibly in ep 10, idk random ass thought, at the end of the day i just wish the break up was more fleshed out but i understand why it was abrupt
THIS IS A LONG ASS ANSWER
i am so pissed at the writers that rafe didnt even properly ask, "will you marry me?" like I MEAN I LOVE LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY GOT ENGAGED AND I CAN REPEAT THE WHOLE SCENE IN MY SLEEP butt yea i completely get your point.
I think the main reason (And i hope to god that its true) that it was a twenty second breakup scene is that they wanna extend the angst between rafe and sofia. usually the couple angsts like jarah and jiaras went all over one season's arc so we were fine with it cuz we knew that they reconciled but since we are going to wait FOR ONE AND HALF YEARS is what's pissing me off. If it was six seasons, then maybe rafes past's effect on sofia would have hit more but sadly a blonde guy ruined everything and now we gotta wait to see how rafe is going to spiral in morocco knowing that he just got his heart broken and most importantly, how sofia is going to handle life after being dumped by her fiance and jobless too (rafe did her so dirty, I WANT HIM TO BEG FOR HER FORGIVENESS)
and also he literally stopped her worries by saying "I dont care...I wanna be with you" and fiona and drew are so good at micro-expressions since they didnt get that much screen time; you can sofia's worries melt away for a moment that he is ready to look past all the bs to marry her. i feel like sofia knew anyways that the breakup might happen; when sofia shakily said, "I love you" on her call in morocco, you feel like she's still scared that he will break it off with her. I HATE THAT RAFE MFER SO MUCH, LITERALLY SAID IDC AND BROKE IT OVER A PHONE CALL, HE IS A PUSSY I SAID WHAT I SAID.
Hmm, i get your point but i feel like if the writers get it right, they can nail how being broken up affects both rafe and sofia individually who are continents away . And its true, his dialogue abt everyone's going to screw over him would have hit harder if the breakup was more extensive but again i know rafe's going to go off the rails now that he thinks...thinks "he's got nothing to lose", and jj and jiara occupied a major chunk of the screentime so i think and i hope the implications of the breakup will be explored more cuz he just cut off kinda his one person he genuinely loves and loved him back.
god i hope that the angst builds up to the most passionate makeup cuz ill probably burn the netflix hq if anything happens to my babies.
Since officialy jj is dead for now, pates are going to put rafe as a main part of the storyline and I want them to deeply explore the angst between them. Thats why I am so pissed at jiara and rudy cuz they occupied a lot of time yet IT WAS SO FUCKING AWKWARD LIKE ATLEAST KISS MFERS. compared to that, the fact drew and fiona gave it all for such less screen time MEANS WE NEED MORE RAFIA SCREEENTIME. THEY DESERVE IT.
Thank you for the ask lovelie, hope you have a good new years.
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kristiliqua · 1 year ago
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im just thinking about wil’s stream today and how much it revealed abt q!wilbur’s character based off of his actions and behavior . help .
(TLDR at the end)
likeee . bro was so quick to draw conclusions , assume , and then put blame on others , despite have little to no information on literally anything abt the eggs’ disappearance . he was quick to blame everyone who was active on the server , saying that the eggs are still missing bc they “havent tried hard enough” and are just “doing nothing” , in terms of searching for them — all of which is untrue , but he says it as if its a fact anyway . even finding q!cellbit sus and not trusting him , despite knowing (again) little to nothing abt the guy , about his character and who he’s like as a person (that he cares a fuck ton abt the eggs and has been trying so hard to find any clues as to where they are) , the fact that he’s been gathering all the info he could ever since they disappeared (and before that , with other shit) . but he blames and finds him suspicious anyway .
he blames everyone else , when everything is and has been out of their control . they dont know much and Cant know much bc they know jack shit abt what could Actually be happening with the eggs . they only have theories and ideas
realistically , the thing q!wilbur should blame is ,, whoever or Whatever took the eggs away . but since he doesnt know wtf thatd be , its not as easy or assuring as it were to be if he blamed it on an actual Person or people he knows , instead of smth he doesnt know at all . its easier for his grief , to blame someone for the cause of it , to be angry and upset at someone . a physical person he can blame . and this irrational/illogical behavior is probably caused by the , yk . reasonably upset reaction that came with the bad news of his daughter being gone
plus the way he went to just ,, do it all by himself , despite the Very limited intel he had , saying that theyll never find the eggs if they just “follow the rules” (in his words) and all “do the same thing” . so he does it his own way , searching for any clues on anything , despite knowing practically nothing abt anything thats happened these past few months . even tho he knows that , logically , everyone else on the island probably has a bunch of info already , info that they could give him to help in his search (bc they all have the same goal in mind) . but instead he’s stubborn and doesnt want anybody else’s help , thinking theyre too incompetent and dont care enough abt the eggs — so he does it by himself , all up until someone reaches out to help him , rather than him asking for help himself (that someone being q!phil) . and in his attempts he ofc fails miserably , bc he Doesnt Know Anything . he has limited access to everything that could potentially be helpful (doesnt know where or what the order is and barely has any waypoints , only checking his and tallulah’s and the outside of phil’s house) , and so he’s basically working with fucking scraps . like itd literally be Impossible for him to find the eggs all by himself , he Needs the help from the others in order to make even a little bit of actual progress (so everyone thank q!phil for pulling up even after their little argument)
and logically (bc he isnt Stupid) , he probably Knows that . he knows that the others very likely care abt the eggs as much as he does (bc why would they all be gathering up for this mission thats For the eggs if they didnt .?) and have far more info than he could ever get by himself , bc he’s been gone for months and hasnt been caught up on anything of actual importance . but he was so upset and quick to blame everyone else (the mfs who could actually Help him and Know Shit) that he shut them off , going off by himself . esp after q!phil lashed out at him
anddd maybe there was a little spite or pettiness in there too , him wanting to prove that he can do it better than them , that he can get more than theyve ever gotten since they “didnt try hard enough” n all , and him finding shit out in a single day would be a huge testament to that idea . but ofc that didnt happen lmfao — he was practically playing a big guessing game with the info he had (or the lack thereof)
TLDR — i just find it interesting that q!wilbur was so quick to jump to conclusions and to push blame onto anyone and everyone he could , even tho he barely knows anyone on the island anymore . the way he went to take matters into his own hands , bc if theyre not gonna do anything abt it , then he will (,,, Not . bro was So lost)
just . what an interesting fella . what fun characterization . what a silly guy who is mourning the loss of his daughter (he is in denial)
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largetriangles · 21 days ago
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been working on this paper most of the day and just sent an email asking for an extension. it was supposed to be due on wed and he made it due on fri to give us more time.
it was due at 5 but the assginment closes at 12. Im gonna submit my in progress doc and then submit the rest later. I dont feel good but this is not new for me so it's not too bad either i guess. Asked to have until the middle of next week as extra time bc i want to redirect my project slightly, which is true. I've got better ideas than what I was doing.
It wouldn't have been fully fixed, but being out of my vynse really fucked me up. like whatever I was hanging out this weekend thats fine. but if i had done any work on monday, tuesday, wednesday, or thursday I would have been fine lol :skull:
but i didnt do anything on monday. I slept in and got my meds which I took 1 of them around 2pm bc thats when I got them which led me to being up kinda late. tuesday I wake up kinda late take my meds at a more normal time but I woke up late enough that I only got a couple things done before Isaac was home and hes more important than doing that stupid ass essay on that day (I had the rest of the week to do it. it's literally fine to not write an essay 4 days in advance). Wednesday. I wake up late -_- and I freak abt another paper for noooo reason once I sent the email he reminded me of a convo we had and I'm literally fine. I do get some work done finding sources yayyy. Then I've gotta go to work and be ready for my momma to get me and go home. not gonna write an essay late at night at my parents house. Thursday (yesterday) I um I. oh right. I woke up super late bc I forgor how dark my room is here. Then I go out on the couch and I open some stuff up but mostly research boxing gyms and watch tv. watched my cousin vinny (vyvanse lets me watch movies?) and called with Doctor (who is Not the fuck you guy shes awesome actually). Then I'm watching tv with momma and then tv with dad. jeez we watch tv. we just always have shows to catch up on together lol. anyway then suddenly its today and I do set alarms and do go to coffee shop to get a decaf drink and work pretty well for a while. but also I had that crying breakdown which did lead to a short panic attack haha. I lock in and get some more done (2 hrs of work) and then I get food for what felt like 15 mins but was 45+ and then i work for another hourish before writing my email asking professor (who is actually the fuck you guy) for an extension. and here i am 30 mins later after god knows what finishing a long tumblr post. OH i messaged dio a little. love that guy
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arodrwho · 7 months ago
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dw liveblog
oh theyre just going for susan rightaway huh
oh i like this kid
i do wish there was less emphasis on rubys bio mum but i'm okay with it bc at least she never calls carla anything her but her mum
i saw somebody say they werent expecting THAT villain to come back but they didnt say which villain so i'm like ????? whomst. ive heard the master and the rani and folks from the eu as theories all season long so i'm assuming not them? so.. whomst
eyyyyyy go carla!
ohhhh mrs flood! hey whats up. who are you, also
oh that's fucking rude. i hate you actually
"he waits no more" so thatll be the one who waits, then. ist the eu guy after all?
"well, not quite, not yet" oh my god the theory was RIGHT? holy shit. love that
so what are we thinking, chameleon arch?
>:(((( let carla in! --yeah!!
god i love when the dr's a time tech snob
oh good. carla should be here for this. no don't take carla away, i want here to be there
god ruby is an infant. 2004 is so recent
tides and hollows... i love that
oh thats dramatic
i'm still mad that carlas sidelined. i get that this about ruby and not her mum, but like. it is also about her mum
oh, i love ruby's mum. she did get to be a big part of it
carrionite? carrionite pose?
no make him go back this seems like a really bad idea. no dont go by the tardis
but now wheres the guy
okay well why did she literally vanish but the rest of the vision is still there. thats weird. did she actually vanish in that first episode and not just walk out of sight?
i said he shouldnt have moved!!!!
how do you know its name? why'd you say The Beast in caps? hello??? someone talk to carla?????
the Beast like. from that one episode? with rose?
the fuck?
yeah the one who waits okay sure. but can we go back to what carla said???
holy shit. whys he stone
yeah man why'd you let him walk around? that doesnt make any sense!! just decide this guy is expendable???? like. u do that sometimes. but not usually to ur allies
whats grizzling. like i can pick it up from context but
he's not having a temper tantrum or a sulk mel, don't be rude
ooooooh that's interesting. i thought he was asking abt dreams bc chameleon arch. i mean i guess it could still be a weird chameleon arch thing but im not sure why she wouldve spent time as an ambulance yknow
that was an extremely rude way to talk to ur mum. how about an i'm sorry, but i can't? jeez.
?????? i think shes allowed to question, kate. but sure
harbinger....
sutekh.... i don't remember you? if tis an old enemy returned, i dont think i watched or read or listened to whatever he was in. assuming a classic or eu thing of some kind
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narugen · 3 months ago
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if u ever wondered how i get my ideas for fics and aus its as simple as me going wait what if hoshina was me
now listen university au where mina is a year older and also really pretty but she's studying biological sciences and not like . anything in the arts sector and hoshina is an artist/designer or whatever and he's in the art club for uni and LISTEN. drawing nude models for practice isnt a new thing. but. but mina gets asked to replace their usual model and she's like errrrr but gets bribed instantly when the asker (no idea who yet. maybe nakanoshima) says they'll give her sweet treats.
and mina is also ripped btw. does sports on the side and shes like beautiful and muscles and soooo groegsous everyone in that damn room goes insane . hoshina especially so but he manages to Lock In and actually do his practice except he really wants her number soooo fucking bad but all the more Extroverted people beat him to it and hes like fuck!
she doesnt give it to them btw. ever since she stepped into the room there was only one (1) person who caught her eye and unfortuntately he was the only one who didnt walk up to her </33333
anyway hoshina touches up the piece and colours it and everything FUCKING DOWN BAD. daydreams abt her and her beautiful face for the next week until he must be seeing things because what do you mean shes right there in front of him . while hes doodling some scenery at the uni's rly secluded but pretty pond area he always goes to unwind...
she's there, sitting by the water and the day is so sunny and the water is glittering with sparkles but that can't even compare to how pretty she appears.... hoshina sketches what he sees out, before taking a deep breath and passing it to her.....
mina, pleasantly surprised, didnt even realize he was there EVEN THOUGH. EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS!! SHE KNOWS THATS HIS SPOT BECAUSE SHE'D DISCOVERED IT ON ACCIDENT TOO, ONE DAY AND CLAIMED IT AS HERS and was originally miffed to see someone else there. but hoshina is hoshina so mina allows it... when she sees him always doodling in concentration... she usually stays out of his way if hes there first but AGRHHHHH GUYS mina who's always admired the little artist whom she shares her serene spot with...
anyway. shes surprised and flattered and gjwhdhdehjlwkdfk idk where im going with this but guyyysyssss artist!hoshina and his muse!mina should i dye.
hoshina paints her for a competition and he wins. they spend so much time together just for that. because its a portrait of her and with every new meeting hoshina gets so inspired and he keeps changing the piece because he learns somethingnew about mina that didnt fit his original idea of her and its sooooooo wowowowow i love hoshimina
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wrapnrappp · 2 months ago
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Doppo headcanons
!! tw for mentions of sh & body image issues
- gay (obviously). i wouldnt say hes leik closeted or whatevs, but most ppl dont know since he just never makes a point to mention it. cue hifumis brain short-circuiting when doppo offhandedly alludes to it
- hes needed glasses since 2nd grade. bro was cursed to be a blind bitch from the start
- due to bullying, hes insecure abt literally every aspect of himself. its gotten to the point where hes internalized everyones words so intensely that he just. thinks hes doomed to be met with disgust & hatred forever. hes a doormat because he feels the way he treats others is all he can control in his life and maybe, just maybe, if hes nice enough the insults will stop.
- self hatred got worse after the honobono situation as he couldnt do the one thing he was good for: protect hifumi. to this day he keeps that bottled up cause he doesnt want to make hifumis trauma about him
- despite his dislike for his physical appearance, he doesnt make any attempt to change it. he thinks hes just always going to be "ugly" no matter what he does
- very fond of ghibli movies. no further explanation needed🔥🔥
- u know how he canonically hugs a pillow in his sleep? yeah. thats cause he desperately needs someone to cuddle with to sleep but hes too embarrassed to ask anyone. and he may or may not picture hifumi when wishing someone was actually there instead of that pillow...
- naturally just. very warm all the time (bro hates the summer so much). secretly loves how it makes hifumi want to cuddle with him more (little does doppo know that hifumi would want to cuddle no matter what ! warmth is just a bonus)
- king of unhealthy coping mechanisms here. has struggled with self harm and stress eating since high school. hes trying to stop, but no shit its hard. living with hifumi really helped him get better as he didnt want hifumi to have to see him engaging in self destructive behavior + hifumi is hifumi. ofc hes super supportive & helps doppo when he can (i loveee how they help eachother with their issues ! yay !)
- bad habit of chewing the inside of his mouth & teeth grinding; tries to keep gum on him at all times to stop it
- has never been skinny at any point in his life. hes just always been fat
- got into art by drawing plants & animals. only expanded to humans once the hifumi crush™️ hit and he suddenly had the urge to draw him in all of his sketchbooks (insert that one spiderverse scene here). even though hes good at art, he never considered a career in the arts as he didnt think he was good enough or that it would provide a stable enough income. he still draws occasionally now, you can see doodles in the margins on some of his unimportant papers
- the only organized part of his room is his windowsill where his plants sit. everywhere else is covered in dirty clothes & discarded papers & knickknacks
- even though hifumi is like. not subtle AT ALL abt how much he likes doppo, doppo just does not process any of hifumis actions as romantic pre-hifudo-getting-together. hifumi's cuddling him, face buried in doppos chest nd he thinks nothing of it at all. thats just how hifumi isss, theres no way he could like doppo!! (yet another example of doppos insecurity screwing him over... if only he didnt label himself as "undateable". )
- never been interested in fashion, he just wears whatever fits. refuses to wear anything tight as it makes him really uncomfortable
- subconsciously fidgets with his clothes. like when at work hell mess around with his shirt nd blazer buttons or employee ID, its kind of a way to ground himself when hes feeling like total dookir
- he doesnt do anything at all with his hair, he kinda just lets it curl however nd go wherever it wants. most hell do is move it out of his eyes. only reason he remembers to get his hair cut is cause hifumi cuts it for him at home & always points out when its getting too long. also doesnt care abt his body hair, he never shaves.
-if he had the time, he would def REALLY Afw reading & writing poetry. as of right now, he only ever writes occasionally as a healthier coping mechanism
-very bad at picking up new skills. hifumi has tried multiple times to show him how to cook & sew & crochet and he just cannot wrap his head around any of it. beats himself up abt it a lot
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years ago
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@cosmicallyavg okay sorry if you didnt want me to respond but the autism won today and i thought abt nothing but this for like 3 hours so
i think the doctor knows yaz has done/will do the same morally questionable things as her if it becomes necessary? because for her to be self aware about herself, and then also aware of yaz becoming her in a way. she has to assume that its a possibility. and asking her to hold the master at gunpoint is her testing that theory i think. because yaz very well could have straight up not done it but in the end, shes her equal, she admires her (and wants to impress her lets be real), and she has a duty of care. she knows/assumes how dangerous the master is and doesnt want anything to happen to Her doctor if she can help it. theres no use being squeamish weve got the doctor to save.
i hadnt thought of that angle but the doctor consciously sort of testing how much yaz will indeed do exactly as she herself would, and guessing right on that front is so interesting. i was reading 13s comics yesterday and she did it multiple times there too, like delegating to yaz for llittle minidoctor tasks like occupying herself with a victim like she does in witchfinders with willa too, and like just literally going "yaz, go play police at those aliens" (i said "be police" first but 1 no jurisdiction, and 2 for the doctor 'be' and 'play' are the same thing)
and when she gets yaz that gun, it's so interesting bc to me at least it feels like simultaneously theres the power dynamic of doctor-companion where yaz is definitely a step lower like shes not in charge here (compared to later with vinder) but what the doctor uses that power she has to do is to like place some of it in yaz if that makes sense? she's using yaz as a proxy of herself, which sounds bad but i think thats what shes doing?
like guns for the doctor are this visual sign that theyre going against their own principles right? it's not really the violence of guns that the doctor protests bc theyre plenty violent, but it's a visual representation of their principles right? we see this with 10 when he wont take wilfs gun against the master but when he hears timelords are coming he does. 13 being willing to use a gun on the master means shes willing to break her own rules to deal with him (which the doctor always kinda is with them thats part of the problem but i dont think it's in the "i forgive you one more time even though i shouldnt way" this time)
but also! she doesnt touch the gun herself. she orders a soldier thats at her command (actively breaking her own rules) to give it to yaz. ace talks abt this i believe in at childhoods end, to yaz. that like, the doctor is not opposed to violence but they will keep their own hands clean if they can. as opposed to 10 who picked up the gun himself, 13 lets yaz do it. and then later, bc of course the doctor cant shoot people, yaz lets vinder be the one to actually shoot the master. 
so 13 is outsourcing her principle breaking wrt the master to yaz, but i think shes aware of it. it's not like letting yaz handle the gun is eschewing her own responsibility, i think she doubles her feeling of responsibility, bc not only is she breaking her own rules, shes making yaz break them too (clara voice: and now youve made me lie! youve made me your accomplice!) which is why it feels so simultaneously like equal and unequal, yaz is both doctor and companion in potd.
(short detour abt what you said abt "theres no use being squeamish weve got the doctor to save" like yeah thats exactly it. i wrote a fic where yaz shoots the master and the doctor is like Why The Fuck Did You Do That bc while she expected yaz to take the gun (bc she would), she didnt expect her to shoot (bc she wouldnt), but that then maybe reveals a sort of distorted image she has of both herself and yaz. bc yaz did shoot, which means the doctor would shoot even if shes so dedicated to the image of herself as The Doctor that she might not realise that she would. and it reveals an underestimation of yazs feelings for her, and her sense of duty, and how far she will go, has gone, to try and save the doctor. the master is a threat, so she shoots (im thinking again of clara and 8x12 where 12 literally offers to shoot missy to protect clara('s immortal soul))
and abt that equality, like, there was this photoset i saw last week of bts stuff from s11 i think? chibnall talking abt the first meeting in the train. which was basically just like that post i made ythat you linked except chibnall was talking abt it from 13s perspective, which i hadnt considered dkdjdjdh
i saw your tags when you reblogged that post and i thought abt them for a bit but didnt respond bc i dont think i entirely agree? theres a definite, like, respect and i think recognition on the doctors side of things when they first meet and she does the thing i wrote abt in that post where she like listens to yaz and then presents her own plan and this first listening to yaz probably fixed a problem they might have had if she had just forcefully tried to push yaz out of the authority position she was in there as a police among civilians, where yaz might have fought for the leadership position the entire rest of the night and maybe rest of their time together (not that thats not also a fun version of events to think about) 
anyway to get back to the point, yes theres that respect, and the doctor uses yaz for her skills since the beginnig, but i dont really agree that it's equal necessarily. the power difference is too big and too easily leveraged by 13 for me to call it equal
when it comes to doctor-companion power dynamics the first thing i always think about is the tardis, because it's this really concrete and undeniable representation of that power right? you need this ship and you need this pilot or you are most likely never going home again. thats just like a fact at the foundation of most doctor-companion relationships (excluding companions who have their own means of transport or could fly the tardis maybe like river or romana). im not saying thats on purpose or the doctor likes it, im just saying when youre stranded on an alien planet and theres one person who is capable of making sure you dont die, doug eiffel voice: really really far away from home, then youre not gonna do anything that person doesnt want you to do. or at least youre gonna be hesitant to
so following the big bluish money (tardis), i think the real equality between them finally only really arrives
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here. in their last scene together. where the doctor can say "you know what this means right?" bc yaz already does despite still not being told anything, and yaz can say "lets not say goodbye" bc the doctor is not good at goodbyes and the doctor is both of them
thats what really appeals to me abt writing them post-potd everybody lives happily ever after au, this partnership that we only ever got to see glimpses of. in a version of events where 13 lived after this, we could see what that partnership really would have looked like
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sushiikando · 1 year ago
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Mmk i completed kirby mass attack little review cus why not!
For the most part the level design is really good and its actually quite challenging to keep all your kirbys alive. The levels are all really well suited to the mechanic aswell.
Ice levels. Fuck those. Those sucked (they always do theres no good ice level ever in anything)
I also absolutely live the spritework in this game... its so adorable and fluid and all the enemy designs are very cool and fitting.
I think the one thing that annoyed me abt it was the boss fights. Most of the time they just dragged on way too long (im looking at you, necrodeus, skull-lord and see-saw plant thing) you also need such speedy precise throws which can be difficult depending how fast you can actually use the tiny stylus. Some bosses were challenging and fun with interesting ideas but others just took way too long and was a case of missing attack opportunities a lot (they go away a bit too quickly in most cases).
Ok ok but the medal system in this game i wasnt sure on at first but i think it works really well! It really encourages you to explore and find them all (they unlock really fun bonus games and tell you how to get all the achievments) and although i was a bit annoyed that you need all of the rainbow medals to fight the final boss but i was gonna grab them all anyways soooo
Also fuck the tilting tower levels i hate those
Story is ok, there are way better stories from other spinoffs but its like just classic evil guy screws over hero, hero kills evil guy, hero goes back home so its not anything that interesting. Necrodeus also has like a really boring design compared to most kirby villains so it was hard for me to really care at all when the game finished. It did feel underwhelming but i guess thats cause theres not much skill involved in tapping the villians face to kill him.
Daroach's little appearance throughout the game is actually really nice. He didnt feel out of place or anything and also tells you where the medals are if you ask nicely. It was nuce seeing him in something that wasnt star allies and seeing all the squeaks.
Also mama bird... mama bird good. Best character
Overall.... 7/10 very enjoyable gameplay wise. Story isnt bad just not very fleshed out compared to most kirby games
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dykeyote · 2 years ago
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for the chnt 'choose violence' ask game :-)
7,8,9,10,21
YIPPEE i love games like this
7: character i hate not bc of canon but bc of how the fandom treats them ..... UP AND ADAM . i actually really liked adam i thought his aesthetic was really fun and i was excited for him but the way he overshadows other characters who are way more promiinent despite having no speaking lines and no personality yet and not having had literally anything to go off annoyed me . give me salem content!!!!!!!! no more of him!!!!!!!!!! ive seen enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no hate to my adam loving mutuals i dont shut up abt jedidiah and he takes up a lot of space too its just a certain kind of adam fans that grate on me)
8: common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about . taptap . usually how people kind of take away elijahs agency in his own actions? people tend to favor a portrayal of elijah that suggests that while his Actions were bad, his Intent was not bad . that he didnt know what he was doing somehow and was trying to do the right thing . which i think is pretty blatantly disproven by the fact that he was still weird towards sydney before the ritual ever happened and by how malicious his manipulation of sydneys disabilities is but eh . i also find people dont tend to understand what jedidiahs arc as a privileged individual .... Means? (this isnt gonna be femidiah discourse i swear pls pls) which is on two sides of the spectrum theres the spectrum that just decides hes a completely bad person without any rigorous analysis of his character that treat privilege as an unnuanced thing . OR people who refuse to analyze that many Many interactions jedidiah and sydney have automatically have an underlying of ableism to them and that most plot poitns in their arc you can look at and say this is about disability bc they like jedidiah and again, cant see privilege as nuanced, and feel like they hvae to avoid the everpresent fact of his ableism and privilege to be able to like him . both of which come from a lack of understanding of how privilege like . works . ppl struggle to be nuanced about jedidiah i find . and as a whole like to take the characters and decide if theyre good or bad based on how much they like them
9: "worst part of canon ..... oh thats hard i really like chnt its hard to pick out a Worst Part . most of the things i dont like are characters i want to see more of or things that are really well written but that *I* dont like cough cough elijah . hmmmmmm . this is hard . uhhhh . what do i DISLIKE in chnt thats not fanon . like id say i dislike that so far the main antags appear to be both young attractive sexymanny types and i hope they vary that later on? but thats like HEAVILY influenced by how annoyed i am with the treatment of adam and elijah in the fandom so idk how fair of a critique that is and we've also seem so little of adam and the show as a whole that it seems in poor faith to judge him absed on what is about 80% fanon . so my only gripe that i can think of immediately isnt really good media criticism .... maybe ill have more complaints as the show goes on" answer from another post (:(:
10: "worst part of fanon . may be predictable based on the above response but oh my god i hate fanon elijah so much . i HAATEEEE him more than i hate canon elijah and i HATE canon elijah . i hate him!!!!!! i hate him when hes sexyified i hate him when hes goofy and silly i hate him when hes just a little guy i hate him i hate him i hate him!!!!!!!!!!! it takes an incredibly interesting villain who is absolutely vile and it makes him boring as hell!!!!!!!!!!! add that to the fact that fanon elijah overwhelms literally any content for just abt any character you might actually care about especially the women and i am frothing at the mouth" also from another post >:)
21: part i think is overhyped . LET ME CLARIFY THAT I DONT MEAN THAT ITS BAD . i can think something is overrated and still like it . but VERY easily rowaniper..... i love rowaniper i think theyre very cute and all but people seem to forget that they interact in like ..... one episode ......... and its a cute episode!! but people act like theyr The Main Romance or something and its like can we calm down . and i wouldnt even mind so much but people tend to ignore like ...... everything interesting about their relationship? bc to ME . the sweetest thing about rowaniper is how juniper Tries for rowan how he acknowledges his own flaws and how he harms rowan and tries his best to improve tings . but people like to pretend that junipers done nothing wrong ever so you dont even get that most interesting part of their relationsihp </3
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ajdrawshq · 2 years ago
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ztd crossover with kh but it's just Carlos meeting Terra, Diana meeting Aqua and Sean meeting Ven. Cursed or blessed concept. Go
HM. WELL. i immediately leaned toward cursed bc like (gestures vaguely at ztd) but that feels mean so im gonna try putting some thought into this
Carlos and Terra :] very good pair for the most part i think. just 2 big older bros doing what they do to try to help people.. but it all goes to shit kupo. i can see them getting along pretty well, both due to their personal experiences and bc of who they are in general. also now that i think abt it its kinda funny that both of them happen to be plagued by visions but only Carlos' have an actual explanation?? Terra morphogenetic field moment?? even funnier is that both of them have the same "welp. anyway" reaction to it like yeah this just happens sometimes 👍 kind of unfortunate Terra couldnt use his to prevent bad things from happening too but oh well. its not like hopping timelines is that easy in his universe anyway. Terra still gets bonus points on an individual level bc while there was very little he couldve done differently there Are things Carlos couldve just uh. not done. yknow. things that i think Terra would kick his ass over tbh
Diana and Aqua.... oof. on god we're gonna get u girls some therapy. they were both so severely fucked over by like. literally everything from ingame events to the narrative itself. trapped in two different but absolute hellholes of sitautions for Very Long Amounts of Time and only called upon as a pawn in a game that both defines and ruins their lives and their entire world, and they barely even know it. and the only people they get to talk to at some point in their respective hells are Sigma and Micheal Mouse (and Terra sort of).. yea i think id lose it too tbh. its interesting that Diana was a 100% crucial part of why ztd happened while Aqua's role in Xehanorts plan wasnt really until ddd/kh3 unless u count him planning the whole end of bbs.. before that she was more of an outside force? not that taking her out wouldnt change anything ofc but her direct actions were more harmful to the overall plan than going according to it. i might need to play bbs again to confirm that more but uhh i forgot where i was going with this. i could see them getting along but i dont really remember enough about Diana as a person to know just how well they would? i guess itd at least be nice to have someone else who knows what their oddly specific and horrific situations are like, more or less
finally Sean n Ven.. Man. talk abt kids who cant catch a break for their entire lives no matter how outragously short OR long. they both just have a Lot going on and play some of the most major roles in their respective stories and god knows they didnt ask for any of it!! tho weirdly enough i dont feel much for Sean considering how he fits into the kinda characters i usually get attached to. but maybe thats just bc it was ztd. anyway !! out of the 3 duos here i think these two are most likely to become actual friends. from the memory fuckery to having a greater role in everything than they couldve imagined (both of them essentially being a key at some point..) to even just. having a very limited world in some way. and not having full control over their bodies. and several other major things im probably forgetting they both have. lots and lots and lots of things. they are friends to me
and just some general other thoughts - while im. not entirely sure how to feel abt what ztd does with the morphogenetic field i can at least appreciate the weird memory stuff that comes with body hopping and the possibilities that has when tied to all the other weird memory stuff that already happens in kh for similar or different reasons. like the way ztd (and vlr to some extent) went about it didnt quite hit the way i wanted it to but the concept is cool to me? itd be fun to play around with it in the context of kh i think. or vice versa. altho maybe introducing multiple timelines to the kh universe isnt the best idea.. hm. much to think about
but yeah!!!! overall verdict: mostly blessed with some underlying hints of cursed. like a weird aftertaste
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strawberryseeded · 2 years ago
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i loved how this last arc was so centered around non-chan!!!!!!!! it rly felt like we finally got to where it all started
the story did a wonderful job in showing how hananoi changed thru the series, while at the same time not shying away from also showing he still struggles and fucks up
like. his confrontation with non-chan highlighted all of his flaws. ALL of them.
how single-minded he is. how unforgiving he is. how awfully he can treat others bc he thinks theyr a nuisance/an obstacle 4 his and hotaru’s happiness. how obsessed he is w hotaru and hotaru only, and how this, and his desire for a relationship in which they are both the most important person to each other, ends up working against him. even if at the end of the day he truly wishes for her happiness and well-being, he can’t help but dumping way too much on her because he only cares about her. by only considering her happiness and prioritizing her above everyone and everything (including himself), hes actually being selfish. hes hurting her.
and literally all of this stems from his trauma. he has this deep, deep rooted insecurity complex. he’s never enough for other ppl. no matter what he does, how he looks, what he feels, hes just not good enough to be loved. to be prioritized by others.
this gets even worse after witnessing what happened between hotaru and non-chan when they were kids. not being able to do anything, he ended up feeling truly worthless. his desire to be someone’s number 1 remained, but the painful belief that deep down he just wasn’t cut to be loved, that they would leave them at the end because he doesnt deserve to be loved, holded him back from truly getting that he wanted.
hes just always so hard on himself, unable to forgive himself for what he did. unable to believe someone will truly accept him for who he is and love him. not leave him.
and he constantly, and violently, projects this insecurity on other people, and its actually fucking hard to watch. whn hes saying he can’t forgive non-chan for hurting hotaru, hes actually saying he can’t forgive himself as well. how dare she get close to hotaru, after what he did?? (and how dare he, after what he did?)
but at the end of this arc... he apologizes to her. because cornering non-chan like that ended up hurting hotaru, which is what he was trying to avoid ((note that he still doesnt forgive her tho)).
the thing is.. hananoi is constantly jealous and insecure bc hotaru has other ppl she cares abt besides him. this is a very hard pill to swallow, and also the very premise of this series. hotaru has many other ppl she loves in her life, while hananoi doesnt have anyone BUT hotaru (according to him), so everyone except hotaru is either unimportant or part of the competition. thats why he so hostile towards everyone; its not that he thinks he is superior. on the contrary, hes afraid to lose to them.
(not to mention by acting so cold hes clearly giving ppl reasons to not get close to him from the very beginning. he even says it himself: hes gone out w every single girl that confessed 2 him because “if shes capable of confessing 2 someone like me, she must be a very kind person”. even when hes trying his best to meet his soulmate, hes showing his worst side from the start, in hopes whoever approaches him already knows how bad he is. its a doomed relationship bc he sets it up to fail (not 2 mention all the toxic shit he does afterwards lol).
for this same reason he also kinda sucks at hiding his hostile behaviour towards hotaru’s friends from hotaru herself, to the point someone mentions this to him, asking if he didnt even think they would tell hotaru. of course he did. deep down, hes just hoping to give her reasons to dump him. hes sabotaging himself).
so at the beginning of the series he tolerates the ppl close to hotaru (only tolerates, still fearful). bc the hotaru he loves is someone that loves others, cares about others, and helps others. thats when shes the happiest. she would not be hotaru if she wasnt like that. he already knew this, so he bears with it.
non-chan was very important to hotaru, as well. and bc shes hotaru, even after getting hurt badly by her, she still doesn’t wish for anything bad to happen to non-chan. that will actually hurt hotaru more.
but thats not the only reason why hananoi regrets what he did to non-chan..... and this is very important:
non-chan hurt hotaru because shes very similar to hananoi. because she felt too deeply and couldnt put herself in hotarus shoes, who didnt. hananoi sees himself in non-chan, and thats the reason why he dislikes her so much and wants her to get away from hotaru. why he cant forgive her.
but during his apology, its obvious that he can now feel sympathy for her as well. he understands why shes like that. and even if he cant forgive her, he seems to think she still deserves happiness. and he even gives her advice bc he can see what shes lacking.
by the point he meets non-chan again, he’s not completely over his trauma (and dare i say probably neither him or hotaru will ever be), but he’s not the same guy from chapter one. he’s changed, bc he’s gone through A LOT: in pursuit of his goal, hes met so many new people; got close to them, close enough to consider them friends bc they are great people, and he likes them and (shockingly for him) he found out that they liked him back.... hes.... hes likable... even after they get to know how weird he is. they want to be around him, hang out w him, be there for him when he needs help! how messed up is that???????
so hes not only fully recognizing he messed up for hurting non-chan... after apologizing, hes just beginning to finally understand that his own actions hurt hotaru because HE is important to HER (which despite everything, he still has a hard time believing). she doesnt want him 2 act like that bc she cares abt him. holy fuck!!!!!!! its almost as if he is... actually deserving of being loved by others....
when he says to non-chan that she was the person hotaru (the most important person to him) liked the most, hes telling her exactly that. thats shes lovable, in spite of what she thinks of herself.
relationships w other ppl can hurt us. thats what hananoi knows. but they also nurture us, fill us with joy, make us grow. that is what hes still learning. what he is starting to see. and hes actually enjoying it, even if sometimes its (very) hard for him.
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domjaehyun · 2 days ago
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HEHE YOU KNOWING MY VIBES🫶🏼omg us getting the behind the scenes of your writing shenanigans!! that's a crazy story ngl you're so committed to your craft, I forget how many trials and tribulations writers have to go through when dealing w technology. BACK TO SCHOOL HOW EXCITING!!! I've always loved psychology too, gimme a good "here's why we like what we like book" and I'm losing my mind. There's one it's called "survival of the prettiest" that's a psychology book about basically why we're naturally attracted to certain things/looks. You might like it it's very insightful!! Anyway I know EXACTLY what you mean by the dubcon/noncon being from the standpoint of making something enjoyable, that's like one of the most popular jav genres (like a pleasure parlor vibe). Cuz you know youre watching an actor consentually play into the push n pull but ultimately enjoy herself. Like its the men out here watching the stepsis/nanny crap while were like yea make her finish AGAIN on that massage table🥳 so real for turning it off when it becomes about the dudes pleasure, im a bit like no good for you i just dc LOL also I would give myself a name but I struggle with crippling anxiety when it comes to the online spaces (took me 3 years to ever send an ask lmaoo) so working through it by being anonymous for now... I did add a lil 🎀 so you knew twas me :)
omg this got buried actually im so sorry OKAY HERE WE GO
i do know your vibes!!!!! you have a certain writing style that just like. is pretty distinct to me!!! NO FR THAT WAS SUCH A HARD TIME. I WAS STRUGGLING SO BAD :( BUT IT'S OKAY NOW :D omg wait thats fascinating i absolutely will be looking that up ... i love that :3
RIGHT LIKE THE ACTING IS PRETTY GOOD MOST OF THE TIME (well. i only enjoy videos w good acting like . in terms of resisting) SO I CAN GET IMMERSED WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY LIKE ...as if i was actually witnessing smth heinous yknow?
im abt to say smth that is possibly so strange but . UNPOPULAR OPINION....POSSIBLY.......... i hate when they use oil or like . lube in any way where the people look like shiny and greased up LIKE IN THE MASSAGE VIDEOS I HATE WHEN THEY'RE COVERED IN OIL IT ICKS ME OUT SO BAD i think bc in my mind im like that looks so deeply uncomfy like youre slipping and sliding.... fine hairs and dust are sticking to your exposed, sticky-ish skin............... i'd just faint personally AND ALSO. THAT USUALLY MEANS THERE'S NOT AS MUCH MOUTH ACTION AS I WANNA SEE YKNOW?? if someone is slathered head to literal toe in baby oil or smth..... ur not abt to lick a stripe up their stomach unless you wanna taste baby oil...................... you feel me?
yeah im having a lot of revelations recently when it comes to men and they are fascinating to say the least. like label wise i dont think i've changed im still bi ... bc im still attracted to men....... but the real revelation.... the real kicker.... is i don't like penetration........................ like in any capacity i dont like fingers, i dont like dicks, i dont like toys— i dont like ANYTHING going inside!!!!!! we're closed for business!!!! my friend thinks its a mental block bc i'm nervous and that's why it just doesn't do anything for me and i hope that's it bc i very much would like to enjoy it at some point, yknow?
oh come to think of it it's def mental for me bc one time i was w this guy and he was having a hard time like . entering me LMAO he was big firstly so i was NERVOUS I DIDNT WANT IT TO HURT so i was like completely tensed and he was like "baby you have to let me in" and i was like oh.. didnt know i was stopping you.. turns out i was clenching myself closed DJLFGSKDKL I DID THAT AT THE GYNO ONCE TOO AND SHE WAS LIKE UNTIL YOU RELAX I CANT EXAMINE YOU.... like sorry girlypop yo tengo miedo :/
anyway sorry for rambling hehe but OMG RLY :') WELL IM HAPPY YOU'RE DOING IT FINALLY :D I ENJOY YOUR MESSAGES :D and jsyk there wouldnt be pressure to like . message constantly i wouldnt put any pressure at all! it wouldve just been a lil way to let me know who i'm talking to if i can't immediately tell :P but no worries!! totally up to you 💖 if you want a name at any point just let me know :D
HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVELY!!!
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