#so like. i mean i guess at least wwe is consistent

[opportunity-strikes]

Me: I like AEW but don't have anything against WWE, it's probably a fine product.

Me, the second WWE is on my television: A C T U A L L Y

[rexcoatlarchive]

Such a thing as too much love (rewrite)

After receiving some criticism and advice and taking a look back at Quetz in game I've decided to rewrite this story. I'm leaving the other one alone for comparisons sake.

Palingenesis was a unique ritual chaldea used to help improve the servants and help them reach their fullest. The process caps out at what would be considered lvl 100 but it was never said whether or not that was truly the maximum.

Rex, in his deep love for his wife, had already helped her achieve the maximum for both her rider and ruler forms. But he always considered the possibility of going further. He wanted his goddess of a wife to go even further beyond her limits in this fight to save humanity.

Quetzalcoatl on the other hand saw the idea as him picking favorites. She thought it wasn't right and would rather prioritize grailing others to help. He wasn't afraid to admit that he really was biased, but that it only made sense, she was his wife so why shouldn't he treat her better.

Eventually after enough convincing she finally agreed on the condition that he only use 1 more grail, and any others would be used for other servants. Rex was fine with this, since she would go beyond 100 but others would still cap off at 100.

Quetz: mi amor, I understand that you love me very much. But it still doesn't feel right for you to spoil me in this way.

Rex: I understand mi corazon, but what kind of husband would I be if I don't spoil you once in a while.

Quetz: even if you did, I rather other forms of spoiling. Like setting up another lucha match like before.

Rex: we can do that another time. Now it's time for you to go beyond!

The ritual was being done in the couple's room rather then where it was traditionally done, as it wasn't allowed to try to go beyond the maximum. It also took a large amount of concentration, which was not Rex's strong suit.

Quetz: since you're doing it anyways, make sure you concentrate as hard as you can. You know you're not that good at it, your mind wanders too much.

Rex: I understand, and I will make sure it goes without a hitch!

He would be unable to do this however. As he was focusing, he couldn't help but get excited at the idea of a stronger Quetzalcoatl, this would cause him to botch the ritual and lead to the creation of something very interesting.

Rex: here goes nothing!

As he said this the grail glowed a bright white color and then light filled the room, before subsiding revealing the couple to be left on the floor.

Rex: oooohh, Quetz are you good?

Quetz: si. What about you mi amor?

Rex: I'm fine, what happ-

But before he could finish this thought the two noticed the new presence in the room. Another female servant, who looked remarkably similar to the floored sun goddess.

Quetz: eh?! Who are you?!

The other Quetzalcoatl stood there, with a more aggressive demeanor. Her smile was far more toothy then the original, her skin a pale snow white. Her headdress consisting mostly of feathers, her clothing colored an obsidian black and her choice of weaponry, a large spear rather then the sword the original wielded.

???: I'm you, pendeja!

Her words felt different from how the original would've spoken. They felt like the words of someone trying to start a fight. Her eyes shined a sharp gold color, and were slit like those of a snake's. When she opened her mouth a forked tongue could be seen, flickering like a snake's.

Quetz stood up, ready to fight if need be, but prioritized protecting her beloved master. She stood in front of Rex to keep him safe.

Quetz: mi amor! Stay behind me! We don't know who she is or what she'll do

The other one was clearly annoyed by this, when she looked at the original Quetzalcoatl her eyes stared daggers, she clearly wanted to start fighting the original. But when her eyes met those of the master they dilated like a cat seeing their prey, she seemed to harbor genuine affection towards him. It seemed to be something that carried over from the original.

???: you trying to keep master away from me is really irritating other me. Things would go smoother if you learned to share.

Quetz: I don't know what you mean by "other me" but I do know I won't let you get to my master.

???: isn't it obvious? Do you not remember Christmas? Or do you need another lucha match to help jog the memories?!

The other goddess spoke in a very aggressive manner. She was like a heel wrestler in WWE, or a Ruda as they would be called in lucha libre. She wanted to fight, she loved the idea. Especially with the original. Perhaps it was a way to show dominance.

Quetz: are you telling me you're Black Quetzal mask?

???: close enough, I have the memories of her from that Christmas. But I'm so much more this time around.

Rex: so did I end up splitting you like before?

Quetz: I don't think so, I don't feel any different. Maybe that's what she means by more?

???: exactly! Now you're getting it other me! I'm the new aggressive ruda Quetzalcoatl! Tho I guess another name would be more fitting? Hmmm, how about Kulkucan!?

Rex: the mayan feathered serpent? The one far more ok with the sacrifices and acted more like a war goddess?

Kuku: that's exactly right! My how smart mi amor!

She spoke to Rex in a far more kind manner then towards the original, she almost felt like the original gentler version when speaking to him. It was clear she seemed to want to be with him, but Quetzalcoatl wasn't having it.

Quetz: you don't have the right to call him that! Es mi esposo! Not yours!

Kuku: I knew you'd be like this! I was ready for a fight! Now we can have a real lucha match, no holding back!

Quetz: fine by me!

Rex: wait! Not here! You'll wreck the room!

Quetz: he's right, we're better off doing this somewhere else.

Kuku: fine by me! Anywhere's fine, I'll kick your ass regardless!

But as this was being said, the door opened

Mash: hey senpai! Da Vinci needs to ta- what the!? Whose that?!

Rex: it seems we've stumbled upon a Quetzalcoatl alter.

Mash: how do you stumble upon an alter in your room?

As she said this she noticed the grail on the floor

Mash: senpai! Did you try to use palingenesis more then what's allowed?!

Rex: ...maybe

Quetz: wait is that why?! Did you not concentrate?!

Rex: I was trying to but I guess my mind wandered. I didn't think this would happen tho!

Mash: it seems like you accidentally did the same thing Gilles and Medb did in their respective singularities.

Rex: not sure how to feel about those comparisons.

Mash: now what do we do?!

As this was happening Kulkucan took the opportunity to try and steal away the master, but Quetzalcoatl managed to grab him before she could make off with him.

Quetz: please let go of him! *she says as she starts to pull*

Kuku: I don't think so! He's mine now! *she pulls in her direction*

Quetz: like I'll let that happen! You're hurting him anyways so stop!

Kulkucan reluctantly conceded, if there was one thing she didn't want to do it was hurting Rex.

Kuku: ugh fine! *she says as she let's go of him*

This action lead to Rex and Quetzalcoatl falling over.

Mash: senpai are you ok?!

Rex: I'm fine

The alter stared daggers at the original again, annoyed that she had to let go

Mash: I think we need to get the others involved.

Later the group were in the command room. When Da Vinci was informed of what had happened, she was annoyed.

Da Vinci: you see stuff like this is why we cap it off at 100. And why we have a special facility for the ritual in the first place!

Rex: I'm sorry!

Quetz: ...si, I'm sorry too.

Da Vinci: what the hell are we going to do with the 2nd Quetzalcoatl.

Kuku: there's nothing to do! Just let us have our lucha match! Winner takes Rex!

Quetz: like I'd ever agree to those terms!

Kuku: ha! Afraid of losing!?

Quetz: I won't risk my marriage on a single lucha match! Regardless of how confident I am of victory!

Kuku: that just proves you don't think you can handle it!

Rex: that's enough you two! Please stop this, you don't need to fight so much!

Quetz: I'm sorry mi amor! I guess the idea of losing you riled me up too much!

She says this while hugging Rex, though it seemed that Kulkucan had something to say about this.

Kuku: don't hog all the love for yourself!

Now she started to try and hug him, leading to pushing and shoving from the two goddesses.

Da Vinci: cut it out! You might hurt him!

This lead to the two to stop what they were doing. It seemed that their master's safety was of the utmost importance to the both of them.

Both: sorry.

Da Vinci: Rex, you have to decide what to do. You caused this so now decide how to resolve it.

Rex: I mean, I'm not sure what to do. I know Quetz doesn't like Kuku. But she's a lot like Quetz, just more aggressive, so getting rid of her sounds wrong too.

The two goddesses didn't like that the situation frustrated their master, so they did the unexpected.

Quetz: ...well, I guess I can deal with her for your sake.

Rex: are you sure?

Quetz: si... I don't Ike sharing but you don't have to get rid of her.

Kuku: and I won't try fighting her so much, for your sake. It's the least I can do.

Rex: well I guess that's fine.

Da Vinci: well another servant joining isn't too bad.

Mash: what's her clas anyways? Is she a rider?

Kuku: I'm actually a Lancer! If you couldn't tell from my spear.

Rex: now we have 3 classes for Quetz! Interesting.

There's the rewrite. Hopefully I did a better job of keeping the original Quetz feeling more like herself and Kulkucan feeling more aggressive.

Tagging again

@panyum @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @gxymlky @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @grievouslyxorvia @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @castlecsejtespeakertechnician

[thefreakymunson]

"Where the hell are they?"

The question was rhetorical. Anyone who knew Jon Moxley, knew that he was rarely on time. Pair that with Seth and Roman, who were always ten minutes early, and you've got yourself three people who can never link up on schedule. However, when Roman spoke to Jon on the phone, he made them promise they wouldn't leave before Jon arrived. Jon had someone he wanted them to meet.

Ever since Jon had left, things had been different, which was expected. The trio had become a pair, and while Roman and Seth missed him greatly, they knew he wasn't happy in WWE. They wished him well, and they still hung out when their busy schedules allowed. This time, they hadn't seen each other in three months. So the reunion was going to be fun. They had planned a day at their favorite bar in Peoria, Mack's. The three of them had discovered this bar after a rough episode of Raw in 2016, when they all three desperately needed a beer.

"There," Roman pointed to the door that had opened. Jon was pulling his sunglasses off and tucking them in his shirt while he spoke to someone they couldn't see, "Over here!"

Roman's loud voice caught Jon's attention and Roman and Seth stood up. When Jon got closer, they could see a shorter man walking behind him, holding onto his hand tightly. They all hugged Jon, Roman went to ruffle his hair, but was suddenly stopped when he realized how short his hair was now.

"Ah man, where's your hair?" Roman joked, "You're basically bald now!"

"Too long, had to cut it off." Jon shrugged and turned to the unnamed guest, "This is Darby...he's my boyfriend, Darbs....this is Seth and Roman."

"Yeah, from WWE." Darby nodded, "Nice to meet you two."

The three shook hands and Roman and Seth motioned for them to come sit down, which they gladly did. Darby's feet were killing him. They sat across the booth from one another, Seth and Roman on one side, while Darby and Jon took to the other side. The waitress came over and handed them their menu's and took their drink orders, all four men ordering beer.

"I'm starving," Darby said as he looked down at the menu. He was nervous, meeting these two guys from Jon's past that he talked about a lot. Jon could sense his nerves, and under the table, placed a comforting hand on the inside of his thigh, slightly squeezing to comfort him.

"Yeah. We missed breakfast." Jon sighed as he looked over at the two men, "So...whats up? How have you two been?"

"Really good, actually." Roman nodded, "It's been different since you left, but we're okay. They're pushing Seth as a god..."

"We all know he was perfectly fine with that gimmick," Jon smirked as he glanced over at Seth, "A walking god complex, you are."

Seth glared at him, and kicked his foot lightly under the table, but shot back with "Well...they liked what they seen, I guess."

Darby sat in the corner and watched the three of them interacting, and couldn't help but feel the small amount of jealousy pitting in his stomach. It was stupid, and he knew that. But Jon was one of the best things that had happened to him. The fact they were sitting across from his former teammates and lovers was enough to make anyone antsy. Roman was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. He had a hulking figure, and hair that was surely made of pure silk. Seth was bearded and rugged, and while they had similar styles, Darby knew he was probably no match against Seth. His self confidence diminshed a bit more.

They had a long talk before they came to Mack's. Jon talked about how he had missed the two men, but how happy he was with Darby now, and how Darby shouldn't be jealous of envious of them. They were Jon's past. But they were a past that Jon consistently talked about. He knew the three of them were close. But goddamnit, he wanted that with Jon, too.

The trio had split with the promise of keeping in touch and remaining friendly. However, that didn't sit too well with Darby. In his opinion, past relationships should have stayed in the past. He wanted to do what he could to support his boyfriend though, and if meeting up with Roman and Seth helped him cope with the big changes that he made, then he would meet with them as well. He was surprised when Jon invited him along, telling Darby he wanted to show him off. Darby never considered himself much to be shown. But it eased his trust issues. At least he wouldn't be left in the dark.

"What are you gonna eat?" Jon looked over at Darby, seeing him chewing on his painted black nails. It was a habbit Darby was trying to quit, so he reached up and tangled their fingers together, pulling his hand down to his lap, making Darby blush lightly, "I'm thinking chicken."

"A burger, more than likely." Darby said softly as he leaned against Jon's shoulder and looked over at the two men across from them who were studying their menu's.

"You okay?" Moxley whispered into his ear.

Darby nodded his head and looked up into Jon's blue eyes, seeing the concern. Jon knew how he felt, but he also knew how grateful he was to be included in this. He studied Jon's eyes, seeing the concern for his well being and his mental state. Jon knew about Darby's past relationship, which ended in his heart being shattered after catching his ex boyfriend cheating on him. He wanted nothing more than to prove to Darby that he wouldn't hurt him. That he loved him deeply.

Moxley squeezed his hand comfortingly as he went back to looking over his menu. Soon the waitress arrived to take their order. They ate in comfortable silence, talking amongst themsevles, before Roman adverted his attention to Darby.

"So...I seen you two's match last week." Roman cleared his throat, "When you came out with Jon's face on yours...that was genius."

"That was freaky," Jon laughed, gently elbowing Darby in the side.

"My favorite scare tactic," Darby chuckled, "Did you see his face when he seen it?"

"Yeah, Moxley didn't know what to do. He's a scaredy cat." Roman teased.

"I am not," Jon said with a mouth full of food, "I just wasn't expecting it."

"He won't watch a horror movie with me, either." Darby shook his head, "Looks like a big ole tough guy, but is really a big ole softy."

"Oh shut up," Jon waved his hand dissmissively, "I'm not some psycho that enjoys being scared."

They fell back into eating and occasionally chatting, and Roman noticed the glances and looks Jon and Darby were exchanging. It was cute, and he was glad Jon had found someone to be with. While he desperately missed and loved Jon, he wanted nothing but the best for the man in life. He's always heard, that if you loved something or someone, to set it free. And Jon was finally free in life to do and conquer what he truly wanted in life, which was to be recognized.

They all stayed until late in the afternoon, and Darby found himself immersed in their conversation. It became clear to him soon that Jon had genuinely put their relationship in the past. He caught Jon staring at him a few times, with such a look of love and adoration. It made that warm feeling swell within him. He had to realize that Jon genuinely loved him.

Soon, the bar announced it would be closing. They paid their bill and split the tab four ways, and said their goodbyes. Seth and Roman walked the opposite way of Jon and Darby, leaving the two lovebirds alone.

Darby held Jon's larger hand with both of his as they walked and he noticed that was slightly buzzed, having drank almost six beers. Jon had a goofy grin plastered on his face as they walked.

"What are you so smiley about?" Darby asked, laying his head on Jons shoulder.

"I just had one of the best days of my life in awhile. I missed them, ya know? But I got to spend time with them and you. It was fun." Jon shrugged, "Plus...I'm a little drunk."

Darby laughed and they walked back in silence to their hotel room. Once they were inside, Jon took his shoes and pants off while Darby went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he walked out of the bathroom, he found Jon lounding on the bed in his boxers, flipping through the television channels. Darby stripped down to his boxers himself, and crawled in bed beside of him, laying his head on Jon's broad chest. He idly drew hearts through the patch of chest hair and looked up at him, sighing softly, "I gotta admit...I was jealous."

"Jealous?" Jon glanced down at him, "Why?"

"I mean, before we got there. It's not every day that you go with your boyfriend to have dinner with his ex boyfriends." Darby quickly licked his lips, "But...I understand now. The three of you...your friends. I always thought that when relationships ended....they always had to end badly. It isn't that way with the three of you, is it?"

"No," Jon shook his head, "I had fun with them. But a relationship with two other people...it wasn't too much for me, ya know? I loved them both...but I wanted something more personal. I wanted then what I have with you now."

Darby stretched up and cupped Jon's stubbly cheek, and kissed his him, letting his lips linger ontop of Jon's for a few seconds longer, before he pulled back and shook his head, "I didn't think it was possible, but I think I love you even more after today."

"Good," Jon winked at him, "Cause I fall in love with you more every day."

[danwhobrowses]

AEW Women’s Eliminator Tournament - Full Review

So as of tonight’s Dynamite the winner of the Eliminator Tournament is in the books, either Nyla Rose or Ryo Mizunami have overcome the other to earn the right to face Hikaru Shida at Revolution on Sunday

But now is time to look at the tournament as a whole and review how well AEW’s latest ambitious Women’s Division Project would/should be received

Warning: There will be immediate spoilers for the Winner under the ‘Keep Reading’, if you do not wish to know the Winner do not read until you have

So when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, Ryo Mizunami came out on top having pinned Nyla Rose for the win, claiming the spot at Revolution and the tournament.

Boy was my prediction wrong eh?

After being given the trophy by Shida however, Aniki refused to let go of the champion, trading and inviting blows from each woman until Shida was able to knock Mizunami down and raise the title aloft.

Was she people’s first choice to win? Probably not Is she an unworthy winner? Absolutely not

Mizunami is extremely experienced, her charisma can reach all ages, she has a genuine love for the wrestling (her sunglasses even have ‘I <3 AEW’ on them), she has aforementioned history with Shida and she went through 2 Fan-Favourites, the legendary Aja Kong and finally the previous Women’s Champion and No.1 Ranked Woman to get here.

And while we are on that topic, to the people who immediately condemned and criticized the tournament when Nyla made the finals: Don’t you get tired of being worked so easily? Honestly we had the exact same thing with the Deadly Draw, people don’t want competitor A (Nyla/Brandi and Allie) to win: so AEW put them in the finals so they root for competitor B (Aniki/Diamante and Iveliesse). Ye of so little faith

I also like to mention that it’s quite nice of Mizunami to be this rewarded by AEW and Shida given how she appeared on their first show at Double or Nothing, I didn’t know it at the time of my bracket rundown but apparently Mizunami was about to retire after DoN, but the crowd and energy of the match inspired her to keep going and push to reach a wider audience - which AEW is now letting her achieve.

Get it out of the way - The Negatives Make no mistake this tournament was great, but it doesn’t mean it was perfect. Of course my earliest criticism was that we could’ve had more, a bittersweet feeling I got when I realised the tournament was nearing its close. While yes it would’ve been nice to see the likes of Big Swole, KiLynn King, Allie, Penelope and perhaps even some debuts/returns, we cannot slight AEW too much for keeping the bracket small.

Time however was a bit of a constraint on AEW’s part. Having revealed late that the winner will face Shida for Revolution, the tournament matches started coming out fast...but on Youtube. Personally, I had no problem with the matches being a sole focus stream on Youtube, but I can also understand why not putting at least the entire American bracket on Dynamite would’ve hurt the tournament. If the tournament had more time I do believe that each match would’ve had a Dynamite showing and not a broken BR Live stream (but please note that BR Live were the problem there, not AEW).

A non-AEW criticism as well for Injury screwing over Anna Jay right as she was about to have her match, extremely rude of the world and we hope her shoulder heals up faster than usual.

The final criticism is probably with the BR Live US Bracket Finals video, simply put it was lacking compared to other streams. Madi vs Leva and Leyla vs Alize didn’t shine as much as Riho vs Rosa and the 6 Woman Joshi tag did in the prior stream, we could’ve probably gotten better matches out of that.

Why I loved it - The Positives I will look at anyone who says that this tournament was a waste and meaningless dead in the eye and tell them they are wrong, and they will be shocked to find that I am not lying.

The tournament not only put a lot of attention on the competing women but became a platform for AEW to show that they have some impressive women on their roster. The returns of Yuka, Emi and Riho paired with the stalwart performances of Baker, Rosa and Nyla as well as the bright showings of Madi, Anna, Tay Conti and Leyla shows that AEW still have a really good Women’s Division - I mean I love WWE but you have to admit their NXT women’s division bought many of their stars ready-made; Io, Toni, KLR, Meiko and Candice were already established names before WWE. Stack that on top of impressive performances by Red Velvet and Jade Cargill last night and the ranks of Big Swole, Allie, Penelope Ford, Kris Statlander, Shanna, KiLynn King and Tesha Price and you still have a strong division.

The tournament proved its worth also by the fact that there was not a single bad match on there, we had some bangers on each stage ranging from Yuka vs Emi, Rosa vs Riho, Nyla vs Baker and Leyla vs Rosa, among several others. The tournament succeeded in giving us great wrestling even with different formats of face vs face, heel vs heel, speed vs power, technique vs power, and even some new shades to the women such as heel Sakura and face Nyla.

I cannot praise the tournament without heaping a ton of praise on the Joshi. Shida and Kenny had always been adamant to show that the Joshi can be a revelation to Western audiences and they were paid in kind in that regard. All six Joshi brought out their A-Game to the point where several are asking for them to be signed, Sakura’s heel ‘Killer Queens’ faction rose interest with a fantastic entrance, while VENY dazzled with their gymnastic talent (and their wearing of the late Hana Kimura’s kimono), Mei Suruga and Yuka Sakazaki lit up the room with their speed and fun and Maki Itoh continues to be adored by the wider world into megastardom. The six woman tag as well was a nice cherry on the top to once again showcase the women, including Rin Kadokura who was fed to Aja Kong in the tournament, every bit of energy and charisma from the Joshi landed on the mark, it has opened several new fans to their home brands (TJPW however did kinda give away that Yuka wouldn’t win given how she was booked for one of their shows, but they’re still great) and have us gasping for more of those six and perhaps some extra, Miyu Yamashita for instance? Think about it TK

One thing that can really harm a tournament too is predictability, which this tournament did not have. You have to commend the balls of AEW to set up 5 fan favourite choices to win and have them each be felled and swerve the entire fanbase. It was for the most part good swerves as well, leading up to the Nyla work included, and actually made me feel like this tournament had big stakes for each member. People will criticize its unpredictability but I won’t be one of them, just because it didn’t go how you personally predicted it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Also a stand out yes for Rosa’s several gear, especially the Selena one against Riho, and Hikaru Shida herself slaying it in the white suit, like lord almighty thank you for this food.

Was it worth it? - Conclusion This is an emphatic yes for me. AEW will always have its critics, fair and unfair, but if you have to wonder whether this tournament is a success you have to simply look at it this way

Were you entertained?

For me yes, there was a 100% consistency in good to great matches in this tournament paired with genuine surprises that got people talking and invested in the tournament itself.

Did it give you something fresh?

A dark horse winner who earned her way to face Shida for the 5th career time and 1st time in an AEW ring through outwrestling, outpowering and outwitting their previous opponents, unique heel/face changes and a showcase of new wrestlers and matchups? I’d say that’s a yes

Did anyone get over?

You ask anyone before this tournament was announced who Ryo Mizunami, Maki Itoh, VENY or Mei Suruga was and you’d likely get blank faces, thanks to AEW they are known and commended by several fans outside of Japan. You ask people if Tay Conti can bring a physical match to Nyla and almost win and you’d get a few murmurs, if you asked people if they though Kenny was valid for his push to bring the Joshi into a wider audience prior to this may’ve said no. Those minds were changed because these women got over. In addition to that the popularity of Thunder Rosa, Riho and Yuka Sakazaki has continued to rise as some of AEW’s top babyfaces, Leyla Hirsch, Emi Sakura and Tay Conti’s stock have rose thanks to the tournament and Nyla and Baker have delivered on strong match performances.

When you consider those three, there is no way you could call the tournament a failure or a waste, people benefitted from it in a good way which means it was a good tournament.

I for one will look forward to seeing Shida take on Aniki and see how it unfolds at Revolution - which I hope to do a review for, I’m also guessing that Paul Wight’s aquisition is either Christian or Okada. Many will of course assume that this is an easy retain for Shida (and act like winning the tournament means you should win the following match as if people don’t win the Royal Rumble/MITB/KOTR/Dusty Classic and lose in their title shot), but how many of those people thought that Itoh, Kong, Yuka and Nyla would beat Mizunami? She keeps on extending the party and coming out on top, you cannot underestimate the tournament winner, Shida produced this tournament, she’s picked her winner now she needs to fight them.

[kjissexy1994]

WORDS OF SHAKESPEARE: ALBUMS OF SUCKAGE: Limp Bizkit-Results May Vary

The year was 2001, Nu Metal was riding high with bands such as Alien Ant Farm with their cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal,” Linkin Park had a dynamic debut with Hybrid Theory and of course Jacksonville’s Red capped dynamos Limp Bizkit were still breathing in the success of their third album suggestively titled “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water” with tracks such as “My Generation,” “Boiler” and of course “Rollin (Air Raid Vehicle)” famously used as the entrance theme of legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker in the WWE (then known as WWF) during 2001 when he had the guise of the “American Badass” biker gimmick, but however with Limp Bizkit still embroiled with the controversy over the crushing and death of 15 year old Jessica Michalik during their infamous set at the 2001 Big Day Out Festival in Sydney and the Announcement of guitarist and heart and soul of the group, Wes Borland parting ways with the band to focus on side projects and his other band “Big Dumb Face,” left Fred Durst to pick up the pieces to record their fourth album.

As the band went through six guitarists during recording of the album (including Fred Durst and Bassist Sam Rivers) They went on a nationwide search for a new guitarist with the “Put Your Guitar Where Your Mouth Is” competition, Limp Bizkit then settled with former Snot guitarist Mike Smith and recorded a number of songs for the album which went through name changes with “Bipolar,” “Panty Sniffer,” “Less is More,” “The Search for Teddy Swoes,” before ultimately going with the generic and subtle “Results May Vary.”

Most of the songs recorded with Smith were cut due to executive meddling by Durst and it showed resulting in a depressing puerile mishmash of heavy and bleak tracks.

This album received a massive tonne of negative reception when it was released in September of 2003 after numerous delays, being ranked in at number 3 as the lowest scored album behind “Playing with Fire” by Kevin Federline. It was even being touted by some people as the album that “killed Nu Metal” which is a genre I loathe entirely as it was in a deep decline during that year.

Let’s go in the deep hole of RMV to hear why this album goes into the mantle of an “Album of SUCKAGE.”

RE-ENTRY

The intro track consists of a circus barker yelling to a kid (voiced by Fred Durst) for sixty seconds explaining about Limp Bizkit as “the most ferociously soothing ways of sonic communication to ever be created”

Okay, so I guess they were trying to copy the “Insane Clown Posse” here?

Then it bursts in a generic rock riff with Fred Durst telling people that all around the world knows him, slowing down and fading out with a drum beat... that’s it.

I mean, I was expecting the guitar riff to build up to something exciting instead of this. I know it’s only an intro, but I do know that it’ll go down hill from here on followed by the first single of this album known as...

EAT YOU ALIVE

This song running for four minutes is outright disturbing, the lyrics, the main chorus even the music video featuring Fred Durst kidnapping Thora Birch in a forest, spraying her with gasoline and screaming into a megaphone to her whilst the band plays! The lyrics consists of Durst singing about wanting a girl to look at him and having a strong desire to “sniff her panties?” *VOMITS!* If you ever said those lyrics to a girl that you love in real life, she would immediately break up with you and be warranted a restraining order. The drums and bass sound generic and the guitar work tries to build this up as some sort of a fight song which immediately fails to do so...this was also the first single of this album. THIS WAS THE FIRST SINGLE OF THIS ALBUM...I am not making this up, why on earth would Limp Bizkit release this as the first single of this album, not to mention getting a disturbing music video?

Ugh...

GIMME the Mic

This track is just another generic Nu Metal sounding track, the guitars sound very pungent in aggression but the rest of the instruments deliver nothing. The main hook is heavily sampled from Eric B and Rakin’s Microphone Fiend, later covered by Rage Against The Machine (which I kind of dislike due to their political beliefs) On their posthumous “Renegades” covers album as Limp Bizkit are downright infamous for sampling hooks such as the main chorus of Nine Inch Nails’

“Closer” for their expletive laden song titled “Hot Dog” on “Chocolate Starfish”. Add in Durst’s trademark whiny anger, pathetic song writing and rapping and you have a stinky sounding Nu Metal song that can be made on a “Nu Metal Band Maker” software. Aggressive generic riffs, whiny angry lyrics, fake b-grade angst: profit!

No wonder why that this album and the cover song that I’ll get to later on is one of the factors that killed mainstream Nu Metal in 2003! Next!

UNDERNEATH THE GUN

This song is the first in the number of songs that Fred shows his singing ability and it just sounds absolutely bland and Monotonous. The instruments such as Sam Rivers on the drums and the chords on the guitar have very good delivery and build up in the bridge, but it just sounds absolutely hindered with Fred trying to stay awake singing a song about “suicide and the struggle you have when ending your life becomes an option” with such a dull melody and it goes on for almost six minutes...I mean why did many red Yankees cap wearing Limp Bizkit fans fall for buying this album? The sad sad fact that it sold more copies than any Motörhead albums baffles me extremely. Our god Lemmy must be turning in his grave...

DOWN ANOTHER DAY

Jesus tap dancing Christ, we go from Fred’s whiny anger fuelled tirades to another mellow monotone delivery about our hero singing about missing his summer love (presumably Britney Spears during his somewhat extremely messy affair during the recording of “In the Zone”) and having to deal with the next winter. The lyrics in the main chorus and bridge are repetitive as hell and the instruments are just nearly nonexistent with little or no effort, not to mention that this song is also plagued with very pathetic songwriting...just garbage time indeed...

ALMOST OVER

Yet another extremely repetitive track, explaining Durst’s life from growing up learning how to rap, taking a lot of crap, and being treated as a clown as a little boy to learning how to lose and getting treated as a clown as an older man. Fred rhymes the end of the verses with the words “Little Boy,” and “Older Man” 16 times and the word “Baby” 19 times, totalling up to 51 times!

Another song wrecked by abysmal songwriting from the red capped turd himself, The instruments are getting worse with every track sounding more and more generic with little or no build up, which is sad because Sam Rivers, John Otto and Mike Smith are such good musicians but are being hindered heavily due to Durst’s whiny vocals...the next track should be good, can it?

BUILD A BRIDGE

Ehhh...okay, this song has a bog standard melody and instruments with such a strong build up in the bridge but it’s passable at least, this song features Brian “Head” Welch from KoRn who is a very talented guitarist and perhaps one of the only Nu Metal bands I can tolerate listening to, but his ability is kind of wasted here due to Durst’s sub par ability to sing, not to mention these are one of the songs rumoured to be impulsively directed to Britney Spears. Imagine being one of the guitarists of one of the bands that invented the “Nu Metal” genre only to record a song about being involved with one the most popular pop singers of the time of release?

“LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” - Chris Croker, 2007

RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT (Featuring Snoop Dogg)

Another Rap/Hip Hop duet with one of the biggest rap/ hip hop legends, and still it’s repetitive as hell despite the funky beat from DJ Lethal as well as Snoop Dogg calling Fred Durst his “nephew” with the lyric “Snoop dogg is in the place to see, do it with my nephew Freddy d.”

You have no relation with this pile of gutter trash whatsoever!!!

This song is attempting to repeat the success with “N 2 Gether Now” featuring Method Man four years earlier in “Significant Other” but it fails massively with Fred’s lyrics in the first and third verses ending with “Baby” 25 times with the same word repeated 10 times in the main chorus totalling up to 35 times. I would be ashamed to have been Snoop to record a duet with who used to be one of the biggest people in music during Limp Bizkit’s popularity from 1999-2001 not to mention rapping a duet to call him his “nephew!”

The bonus track “Take It Home” which heavily samples the song “Milk and Honey” by Bonnie Dobson is another sub par effort having Fred repeat the lyric “Crying Myself To Sleep” whilst DJ Lethal jams....NEXT!

THE ONLY ONE

Mike Smith is trying to do an acceptable riff or two which I praise for but the effort is just completely wasted, this song is just another whinge-fest with lyrics about using terms of having sex and making out such as “first base” (again presumably directed to Britney) but it just sounds absolutely whiny and generic with Fred singing with heavily instrumentation behind him as he repeatedly screaming the word “NOTHING!” Towards the end and it just ends after that.

Such a putrid mess...

Oh and the lyric “It’s No Big Deal?”

It is a big deal when you’re trying to record a follow up to your previous multi platinum when your most talented member leaves and you have to pick up the pieces with six guitarists, two being yourself and Sam Rivers.

LET ME DOWN

“Let Me Down” has a lot of effort but has simple and dull instrumentation and Durst sounds a lot better than the previous tracks, but however the lyrics are very iffy such as “Heartbreak is a Headache, like a toothquake or an earthquake” “Spontaneous Combustion leaves a taste that’s so disgustin’” and “Rumours are Tumours?” Whilst this song is somewhat passable it’s still coming from a 33 year old at the time whining about life and struggles.

LONELY WORLD

Another song about Fred Durst, whining about his past life such as hating high school with bullies trying to put him down as well as making out with his gothic girlfriend out in the creek whilst his mother was asleep along with gross lyrics such as “Just a little skater boy they could pick on

I learned to forgive 'em

Now I got the balls they can lick on”

Jesus Christ Fred! You were 33 years old at the time of release! Just do us a favour and grow up at least. The main chorus and bridge is still very tedious repeating the main title of the song in a total of 37 times. Un-fucken-believable!

PHENOMENON

After what would’ve been an extremely energetic guitar intro from Mike Smith, The band just slams on the breaks with our hero Fred introducing himself as “the incredible, subliminal, the INFREDIBLE D.”

Here we go again with copy, pasting and editing lyrics of other music groups songs and claiming them your own (the song being Bring the Noize with Anthrax featuring Public Enemy).

The main chorus has a lot of effort but the verses, consisting of Fred Durst’s cruisy rapping,

Not to mention the section after the bridge references “Pollution” from their debut album from 1997 “Three Dollar Bill Y’all” which contains the lyric “Gonna Bring that beat back” which is perhaps the only good album from the band themselves (apart from that Faith cover).

“Phenomenon” is just a ratty mishmash of heavy instrumentation in the main chorus and laidback rapping from Fred in the verses.

CREAMER (RADIO IS DEAD)

Another song with Fred Durst taking an aim against the haters proclaiming “Take a look at me now I’m Mr Worldwide and you’re nothing!” But it contains such sucky lyrics and rhymes such as “Mr Halitosis-of the Breath” and verses and the main chorus such as “Hateraid”, and “rolling dice and getting laid” respectively. Fred also believes that “Radio is Dead. Why’s that? Because many radio stations worldwide won’t play your shoddy music anymore? (Unlike Triple M that continues the play that song in two tracks time) plus what’s with the title “Creamer?” A Frank reference to ejaculation? A quick fact, A massive portion of the song was recycled from Limp Bizkit’s unfinished cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” which was intended to be in the Ben Stiller movie “Zoolander” hence the title being in the second verse” and Fred Durst’s “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo in the aforementioned movie. Ben Stiller is his “favourite motherfucker” after all.

HEAD FOR THE BARRICADE

An energetic, aggressive fight song against bullying which blatantly references the 1999 Columbine High School shooting in the intro, not paying respect to the victims? How fucking low is that? This song also heavily borrows the refrain “Stick Em, Ha Ha Ha Stick Em!” From The Fat Boys song titled “Human Beatbox” for the main chorus which most of the album and previous albums before it samples lyrics from other songs. Another lyric that catches my ear is “The World can make you sick to your stomach so I put on my headphones and listen to the “Deftones.”

Yeah, I’d rather listen to a huge dose of Deftones after listening to this pile of puke.

I praise the guitar work and build up from Mike Smith which shows his full potential in this song as his talent was heavily wasted in this album, but I still criticise this song for deliberately referencing the shooting tragedy at Columbine High School with no respect to the victims families. You’ve just damaged your reputation with this song in this album Fred, oh wait...it’ll be damaged even further with the next track....

Now we’re getting to the “shitty gritty” of this album...one of the...most disrespectful covers...that still gets played on Triple M seventeen years after it’s original release...and what cemented its place as the cover song that signalled the death of mainstream Nu Metal...

*WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE USED HEAVILY*

BEHIND BLUE EYES (THE WHO COVER)

*VIOLENTLY VOMITS INTENSELY*

WHERE DO I FUCKING BEGIN WITH THIS PILE OF MONKEY SHIT?

This cover of a classic rock ballad from The Who, one of my favourite rock bands of all time from my favourite albums “Who’s Next” is just indescribably DISRESPECTFUL, PUTRID AND WEAK AS PISS!!! Complete from the non existent sampled guitar work, Fred Durst’s inability to sing with his monotonous delivery of vocals and the dreary sound effects in the main chorus sounding like when you turn on a Sony PlayStation 2.

There is absolutely NO EMOTION in this cover at all! In the original version from The Who, Roger Daltrey sings this song with heavy emotion plus he sounds very angry in the bridge section. And where is the bridge section in this cover exactly? Oh...it’s replaced with a Speak N Spell, A FUCKING SPEAK N SPELL saying “Discover” and spelling “L.I.M.P” part of their terrible band name that’s named after a disgusting sex game in Britain, not to mention, Fred’s statement that he’s not telling lies is another stealthy direction to Britney Spears FOR FUCKS SAKE! I thought that I was hearing a demo version of song containing the section with the Speak N Spell during the instrumental break and Fred whining about “being sorry and not telling lies” would be a placeholder recorded before Mike Smith joined hoping that they would record a much more aggressive, rap heavy version of the bridge from the original but nope! They apparently released this absolute joke of a cover as it is! Was it really such an absolutely bright idea to bastardise such a classic “The Who” song from one of my favourite albums of all time? At least Faith No More knew what they were doing when they recorded their cover of Lionel Richie and The Commodores’ “Easy” on the rerelease of “Angel Dust.” Surely a verse was absent in that cover, but at least it was slightly faithful to the original version. (Still makes me sick that Limp Bizkit opened up for FNM during their American leg of the “Album of the Year” tour in September and October of 1997.) Did you know that song also got an awful music video to promote the 2003 movie Gothika (which this song appeared in) where Fred Durst tongue wrestles Halle Berry in a Psychiatric Ward?

The fact that this was the second single from this neanderthalic mess of an album, charting in at number 4 on the Aria Charts in 2003/04 not to mention being overplayed on mainstream radio stations such as Triple M to prove that Limp Bizkit had a soft side makes me undesirably sad to this very day...

Truely such a horrible cover song in rock, and don’t get me started on that cover of George Michael’s “Faith” that is the same level of absurdity of this song.

The song features another bonus track titled “All That Easy” featuring another monotonous delivery of lyrics with a simple beat from DJ Lethal...it just sounds like a song from a dollar shop Massive Attack...

DROWN

The final track on this album is yet another sad, mellow, monotonous melody from Fred complete with the repetitive chords from his guitar (one of the few songs to feature Fred playing guitar prior to Mike Smith joining the band). There’s nothing to describe about the half asleep sounding lyrics but it’s just absolutely sluggish at best and just another garbage time track to end this massive garbage fire of an album.

FINAL VERDICT ON WHY THIS TAKES THE TITLE OF THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE

“Results May Vary” is nothing but an album filled with monotonous, lyrically repetitive songs, mostly directed to Britney Spears for being left out of writing for “In the Zone” as well as stated by on and off again guitarist Wes Borland as “Fred Durst’s solo project.” A massive chunk of songs were cut from this album such as “Crack Addict” which was performed live at WWE Wrestlemania 19 in Seattle earlier that year in 2003, “Just Drop Dead,” another bloody song directed to Britney Spears which appeared as a B-Side of “Behind Blue Eyes, “Why”, Lean on Me,” and their double cover of “Home Sweet Home and Bittersweet Symphony” originally performed by Motley Crüe and The Verve respectively, the latter three songs being put on the “Greatest Hitz” compilation two years later. Other songs that were cut from RMV, were titled “Press Your Luck,” “Poison Ivy,” “Cowgirls from Hell,” “Shot,” “Armpit,” “When it Rains,” “Let it Go,” the subtlety titled “Masterbation,” “Lean On Me” and others. However these songs wouldn’t have saved this album from being such a colossal disaster and a huge reliance of being a schadenfreude to various haters of the Nu Metal genre like me!

“Results May Vary” is Limp Bizkit’s equivalent to Metallica’s St Anger which was released the same year three months earlier. St Anger got a massive tonne of negativity when it was originally released but later got a huge amount of love and respect over the years. RMV will never have that type of respect as it simply nuked the careers of Limp Bizkit following its release. Limp Bizkit later released its EP titled “The Unquestionable Truth” with Wes Borland returning two years later and it’s comeback album “Gold Cobra,” with “The Stampede of the Disco Elephants” forever burning in Development Hell but the unsalvageable damage had already been done by then, and that’s why I give it the mantle as

THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE!

Happy Trails...

[bastardnev]

Broken (But Not Beyond Repair)

yknow i spent a whole lot of time referring to this as “the valentine’s fic” but meanwhile valentine’s day is mentioned like Once during this whole story. Nevertheless !

tagging: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger @nerdbrose (lemme kno if u wanna be added to my tag list !!)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: Valentine's Day, sorta but not really, its more mentioned than anything else tbh, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, i guess, Making Up, au where nev still lives in orlando and also has a big fucking dog, mustafa worries a lot, Implied Sexual Content Series: Part 2 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

(link to ao3)

By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

Mustafa stared down at the screen, squinting against the bright light. The rain rhythmically tapping against the roof of the car left him in almost a trance-like state as he debated whether or not to hit the "call" button. This wasn't the first time he found himself in this position — he was tempted to get in touch with Neville just about every time he and the rest of the WWE crew passed through Orlando during live event tours. He would usually only get as far as his contacts list, however, and he was never actually able to bring himself to make that move. Once he learned that the latest show would see him in the area again, he assumed that things would play out as they normally did, with him backing out at the last second and pretending like he had zero interest in seeing Neville.

But that didn't happen. This time, the urge to get in contact was so strong , far more than it ever had been. To the point where Mustafa was in the car and fully prepared to drive right over to Neville’s house. He had no idea what exactly it was, but he had arrived in town with an almost overwhelming feeling to just bite the bullet and do it. A sense that he needed to stop putting off something that was killing him not to do. He wasn't even sure where it came from, but it was certainly there — a feeling that he needed to reach out, to call, to talk to Neville again after so long of little to no contact.

To possibly rekindle a relationship that had meant so much to him.

To put it bluntly, Mustafa and Neville's relationship was, at its core, supposed to be just sex. Nothing more than that. "No strings attached", they always insisted. Once a week ( maybe twice, if they were feeling up to it), they would meet up in a hotel room to fool around, to blow off steam after a show. After Raw, after 205 — they weren't picky. Whenever they were both in the same place and could meet up, they spent the night together. It was nothing more than that, at least at first.

But then, it... changed. It had been gradual — Mustafa hadn't even noticed it right away — but the times they shared started to become something else. Before all they had done was meet up, do what they had to do, and then go their separate ways before anyone knew what they were doing. They did their best to make sure that no one even had a suspicion that there was anything going on between the two of them, hence why Mustafa would always go back to his hotel room after they finished. Whoever he was rooming with normally didn't ask too many questions so long as he was back from his "late night walk" ( horrible excuse, but it worked) at a reasonable time.

Then Mustafa started to actually stay the night with Neville. The first time he had simply been too tired and lazy to leave. The second time had followed a very similar format, only Neville didn't put up as much of a fight. Every time it happened thereafter, Neville cared less and less, and before either of them knew it it had become an established part of their routine, their desire not to clue anyone in on their secret be damned.

And then came the invites to each other's houses. It had started as a way to save money whenever tapings were in Chicago or Orlando, but before long they had becomed planned affairs, with one spending anywhere from a day to a whole weekend at the other's home. They acted like this was so they could hook up easier (and more frequently), but the fact was that those nights were... fun . More fun than they thought they would be. It wasn't just sex anymore — they were cooking together, and buying way too many snacks together, and eating those same snacks as they binged the dumbest fucking movies together. (Stupid Movie Fridays, they'd taken to calling them, though they weren't opposed to other days of the week being devoted to corny films.)

They were... getting closer. Close enough that Mustafa wasn't sure if they should be labeled as acquaintances, or as friends, or as... something even more than that.

Whatever the hell they were, it all came to a screeching halt in October of 2017, when Neville left the company and didn’t look back.

Mustafa still texted him after everything happened, but it was clear that things weren't how they used to be. Neville was distracted, so caught up in the drama of requesting his release that he didn't seem to have time to talk with him anymore. It wasn't like Mustafa didn't understand — though he'd never been through the process himself, he could only imagine how stressful it must be, especially given the specifics of Neville's situation. Not to mention that his own career picked up notably only a few short months later, and he hadn't done much better on the consistent communication front. This was far from being a one-sided issue.

What had gotten to Mustafa the most, though, was how abrupt it all was. How one moment the two of them were talking, and laughing, and genuinely enjoying one another's company more than they ever thought they would, only for all of it to suddenly stop. How they used to text each other the most ridiculous and pointless shit, only for their messaging to slowly taper off until it ceased altogether.

As of that moment, in February of 2020, contact between them was nonexistent. Like they were total strangers.

Mustafa wanted so badly to change that.

His thumb was hovering precariously over the "call" button. It was such a simple thing to do, but he was still having so much trouble with it. If he did that, then Neville would pick up, and then two of them would be talking again for the first time in years. He would get what he wanted. It was so easy, so doable .

Even so, he was hesitant. There was no guarantee that Neville would pick up to begin with. It was possible that he would see who was calling him and immediately reject the call, or let it ring and ring until Mustafa eventually gave up and left him alone. Worse yet, he might have deleted Mustafa's number, and he would hit him with a dreaded "Who is this?" the moment he answered. Each of those situations sent a chill down his spine, and it made him want to turn off his phone and forget about this plan like he always did.

But Mustafa couldn't let those worst-case scenarios get to him. Not anymore. He needed to do it, and he needed to do it right then and there. Otherwise, it would likely never happen.

With that, he made the call.

Bringing the phone up to his ear, Mustafa chewed on his lower lip. He listened to the rings, first one, then two. His heart was pounding in his chest by the time the fifth ring rolled around. A little voice was yelling at him from the back of his mind, telling him that he'd made a huge mistake and should just hang up the phone already. It was clear that Neville didn't want to talk to him — if he did, he would've picked up. It was only a matter of time before he got sent to voicemail and was forced to either hang up or leave some embarrassing message for Neville to delete—

"Ali?"

"Oh—" Mustafa's whole body tensed at the sound of Neville's voice coming from the receiver. He'd actually picked up — shit, shit, shit . He scrambled for something to say, anything . "...Hiya."

Real smooth, dumbass . "Hello..." Neville responded tentatively. God , it had been way too long since Mustafa last heard him. He probably would have enjoyed the moment more if he didn't just make a complete fool out of himself.

"What, ah...” Just say something! “What're you up to?"

"I'm... at home." Neville still sounded wary. Mustafa couldn’t exactly blame him.

"You had a match this week, right?" Mustafa remembered seeing tweets about it on his timeline. Reading that Neville had won had put him in quite the good mood for the rest of the night.

"I did."

"Good for you." Mustafa nodded. “Makin’ moves.”

Then, the line fell silent, and Mustafa had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that he did not plan this well — or at all, really. All those nights of internal arguments and wondering about how a potential phone call between him and Neville would play out ultimately failed him. He had no idea what to say next, or how to get to the point without making himself look like an even bigger idiot.

Fortunately for him, Neville was the one who eventually broke the silence. "Ali, what's going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I— Are you kidding? You just called me out of absolutely nowhere. Why?"

“...Oh, that.” What else would he be talking about?!

“Yeah, that .” The tone left Neville’s voice and, quieter, he added, “Is everything alright?"

Mustafa swallowed. There, that was his opening. "Everything's fine, it's just..." He paused. "I... WWE's in Orlando this weekend.”

Neville was silent for a beat. "...Is that so?"

"Mhm. I just got to my motel a little while ago. Haven't even gotten out of the car yet, though, because of this rain." Taking a deep breath through his nose, he said, "I... was thinking about you. Wanted to know how things were."

“I see...” The line went quiet again, the only sound being that of Neville’s breathing and the rain, which seemed to have only gotten worse in the time they were talking. Mustafa was dreading eventually having to get out of the car.

“I-I know it’s sudden,” Mustafa explained, an attempt to save himself from this awkward situation. “And that you probably didn’t expect to hear from me.”

“I definitely didn’t.”

“Yeah... But I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure things were good.”

“They’re... They’re fine, thank you.” After a beat, “And you?”

“Same here.” Mustafa looked out the raindrop-speckled window. “I’m tired as hell, but... Still, it’s all good.”

This conversation needed to end. It was going nowhere, and Mustafa knew this. Hearing from Neville again was great, but all he was doing was embarrassing himself. Clearing his throat, he said, “Well... I guess I should be going. Still gotta get my room.”

“You haven’t even got one yet?” Neville asked. “What do you plan on doing if there isn’t one available?”

“I’ve slept in enough cars during my career to be okay with it. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t remember ever saying I was worried.”

Mustafa snorted. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know that?”

“At least I’m consistent.”

“That, you are...” Mustafa licked his lips. “I’ll... talk to you later, maybe, okay?”

“Alright...”

Mustafa sighed softly. Here’s to hoping I’ll actually have the balls to call him again after this. He thought to himself as he brought the phone away from his ear. Considering how long it had taken him to initiate this five minute chat, it would probably take him an eternity to do it all a second time.

He was just about to hang up when he heard Neville say, “Wait!”

The phone was back to Mustafa’s ear in a flash. “Yes?”

Neville seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he asked, "If it’s not too far from your motel, do you... want to come over for a bit? Just until this storm lets up."

Mustafa’s eyes widened. “U-Uh...” He stammered, very much caught off guard. He had wanted to go to Neville’s house earlier, but he didn’t expect him to straight up invite him , completely unprovoked.

“If it’s too much trouble, then don’t worry about it,” Neville backtracked. “I know the weather is messy—“

“No it’s not,” Mustafa cut him off. “I mean, yes, it is, but I can still drive in it."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. You know I'm a good driver."

"I know you're a slow driver."

"Close enough. I’ll... I’ll be over in a little bit.”

He heard Neville breathe out (in relief?) “Alright. You, uh, still know the way?”

“Yeah, I do.” Mustafa could never forget.

~

The one benefit to the rain being so heavy was that the roads were mostly clear. The few cars that were out at that hour were driven by people getting home late from work and lovesick idiots like Mustafa. He had to be careful, of course, since an accident was the absolute last thing he wanted at that moment (and always, really), but he maintained a decent speed as he went down familiar streets and made familiar turns, ones that he hadn't made in ages. All so that he could see Neville in-person again.

What would the two of them even do ? That question was bouncing around inside of Mustafa’s head the whole time he was driving. He... highly doubted that they would hook up, given the amount of time they had been apart. It was unlikely that they would so easily fall back into their old pattern. Chances were they would spend more time catching up (or sitting in uncomfortable silence) than anything else. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that — happy? Disappointed? An odd combination of both?

No matter how he might have felt, it was definitely happening. And before Mustafa knew it, he was pulling up to the front of Neville’s home, parking in what had been his usual spot only two years ago.

Mustafa shut the car off. Staring up at the house, he realized that it was no different than it had been the last time he visited. Very... ordinary. There weren’t any decorations up, despite Valentine's Day being just around the corner. He wasn’t quite sure what he expected, really — Neville had never been all that into decorating. Thought it was all a scam and a waste of time, even though it made his home stick out like a sore thumb during the holidays. Just as he’d said on the phone during their chat, he was as consistent as ever. The familiarity was... comforting.

Bracing himself for the weather, Mustafa stepped out into the rain, taking a moment to lock the car before hustling up to the front porch. His heart was thumping as he climbed up the steps. Come on, you can do this, don’t chicken out now. All the worst-case scenarios were starting to creep their way back into his mind, telling him that this visit was pointless. That they were far too different now, and getting together again even for a little while would only make things worse somehow. Mustafa stared intently down the doorbell, as if it were challenging him with its faint glow, and he pressed it before he could talk himself out of it. Screw that pessimism — he was already there. If talking to each other was bad, then running away when he was expected was even worse.

And, truthfully, leaving unnoticed at that point was impossible. The door was opened only a moment after he'd rung the bell, like Neville had been standing there waiting for him on the other side, and just like that Mustafa was once again faced with the man who he’d spent countless nights with only a few years ago. A soft, shy smile spread across Mustafa’s face. “...Hey, Nev.”

“Hi...” Neville’s expression mirrored his — his smile was still stunning. “It’s... certainly been awhile, hasn't it?”

“Sure has.” Mustafa’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets. Too long. Mustafa wasn't sure if he should say this last thought aloud or not.

“Well, don’t just stand there — it’s pouring.” Neville stepped aside. The rumble of thunder off in the distance did an equally good job of reminding Mustafa of the bad weather, and he nodded, making sure to wipe his feet as best as he could on the mat before he walked inside. "Just put your shoes with the rest of mine."

"Got it." Some of Neville's shoes were lined up against the opposite wall, surprisingly neat. This alone made it clear that Neville had managed to do (or, scrambled to do) some last minute cleaning before he showed up. They were usually a mess, one that Mustafa teased him about almost every visit. He couldn't say anything this time, however, and instead he went about slipping his own pair off.

Then, a large black shape came charging at him from the end of the hallway.

“Winston!!” Mustafa grinned, and he crouched down, scratching the bullmastiff on his head once he stopped in front of him. The dog responded by licking his face, and Mustafa laughed. “I missed you!”

“Looks like he missed you, too,” Neville mused from behind him, and Mustafa heard him close the door.

“It’s been way too long, boy-o!” Another rub to the head. Winston's tail was like a propeller, wagging rapidly. A paw came to rest on Mustafa's arm, and he faltered a little. "Hey, don't knock me over now."

"I don't mean to interrupt this tender reunion, but can I get you something to drink? Water, maybe?"

Mustafa looked up to Neville, Winston licking his hands now in an attempt to regain his attention. "That'd be good, thanks."

Neville gave him a nod and made his way towards the kitchen. Winston turned and followed him right away, which caused Mustafa's eyebrows to raise. "Wait, where're you goin'? I thought you wanted me to pet you!"

"He sees me going to the kitchen, he follows," Neville yelled back. "Seems to think me being in here automatically means he'll get a treat."

"Doesn't it?"

A pause. "...Well, yeah, but..." Neville trailed off, and Mustafa couldn't help but chuckle and roll his eyes. Who could've guessed the "Bastard" would be such a pushover?

Now alone in the hallway, Mustafa took a quick look around, noting some of the pictures on the wall. He wanted to say it was an evenly distributed assortment of photos, shots of family and the dog alike, but it was clear that there were just a few more of Winston than anything else. Neville's love for him seemed to have grown tenfold in the time he and Mustafa had been apart. Mustafa couldn't help but wish that he had a pet of his own. Winston had filled that role for awhile, but... well, it was hard for him to actually bond with an animal when he wasn't even speaking to its owner.

Mustafa decided to head into the living room then, and he sat down on the couch, shifting in the plush seat as he waited for Neville (and Winston, hopefully) to come back. The rain was still pattering away against the window, and Mustafa silently hoped that it would let up before the end of the night. Having to go back out into such a downpour and drive all the way to his motel — the same one he still didn't have a room at, now that he thought about it — would not be fun. The more he put it off, the more likely it seemed he would be spending that damp night in the backseat of his rental...

Mustafa shook his head and tried to get rid of the thought. He would worry about that later, after he did... whatever it was that he planned on doing with Neville. He still hadn't figured that out.

Sitting there and looking around the room, it was all so... familiar to Mustafa, just as so many other things were. Everything that had happened since he arrived at the house had been apart of his and Neville's routine — the old one, from before everything changed. It was all the same, from Winston greeting him at the front door to the drink offer. There was even some Netflix movie paused on the TV. Mustafa admittedly didn't recognize the name of it, but if he knew Neville half as well as he thought he did, it had to be tacky. Stupid Movie Night lived on, even though they hadn't actually gotten together to have one in years.

Mustafa missed this. All of this.

"Here you are," Neville at last returned to the room, handing Mustafa his glass.

"Thanks." Mustafa took it from him. Winston strolled in behind Neville, and Mustafa watched as he followed him closely, sniffing his lap after he sat down at the opposite end of the couch.

"I have nothing more for you, why are you looking at me like that?" Neville gave the dog a scratch behind the ear. "You've already gotten loads of treats tonight, take it easy."

"I see he's just as much of a mooch as he was before."

" Oh yeah. Actually, he might have gotten worse, if that's possible." Winston jumped up on the couch and settled himself as best as he could between Mustafa and Neville, the latter going right back to patting him on the head. "He's my boy, though. Wouldn't trade him for the world."

And then, without warning, it was quiet again.

The room that had just a moment ago been filled with their voices was now filled only with the sound of the rain. Mustafa licked his lips, and he stared at Neville, whose gaze was trained on Winston. When he looked to Mustafa, their eyes met, and Mustafa gave him an awkward smile (which was probably more like a grimace) before turning his attention to the paused movie on the screen. His nerves were beginning to make a comeback, just in time for he and Neville to have the first face-to-face conversation they'd had in a long time. He cursed his luck and, once again, his past self for not properly thinking through his plan for getting back in touch with Neville — he'd gotten as far as "call him and hope for the best" and left it at that.

Neville was the one that invited him over. He wouldn't have done that if there wasn't even a tiny part of him that wanted to see him, to talk to him. Even so, Mustafa was still hesitant, worried that he might slip up and say something that would do the opposite of saving their relationship. But he needed to take a chance. He'd told himself when he was standing on the porch that it was far too late to back out, and it was especially too late now that he was sitting on Neville's damn couch. Taking a slow sip of his water, Mustafa cleared his throat, and he made the first move. "Uh... So, things have been good with you?"

No sooner had the words left his mouth did Mustafa realize he'd asked him almost the exact same question on the phone earlier. However, Neville didn't seem to notice (or maybe he just didn't care). "They have." His hand was on Winston's back now, fingers slowly trailing over his fur. "Busy, but good."

"Weren't you wrestling on that cruise awhile ago?" At Neville's nod, "Damn, that must've been cool."

"It was... something, I'll say that much. Never thought I'd see myself wrestling in the middle of the ocean."

"Isn't there, like, no phone service on cruise ships, though? How did you even survive?"

"All the questions you could ask me about that trip, and you ask me about the wi-fi? I don't live entirely on social media like you do."

"Yeah, yeah..." Mustafa was tempted to take out his phone and begin scrolling through Twiter just to mess with Neville, but he decided against it. That would come later, once he was sure about where their relationship was at. "Either way, I'm really glad you've been able to find so much success."

Neville snorted. "Me too. And how about yourself? What've you been up to?"

"Things are..." Mustafa pursed his lips as he tried to come up with the right words. "They're okay. A little slow, but definitely not bad."

"Is that the polite version of 'I've been almost exclusively in dark matches for the last month'?"

He grinned sheepishly. "So, you know about that..."

"I haven't actually sat down and watched WWE programming in full in ages, but I still try to watch your stuff whenever I can. Once you stopped showing up, I kinda figured you were— ah, how do you put it? 'Stealing the show before the show'?"

"Hey, don't use my words against me like that!"

"Don't use them all the time, then! Seriously, you post the same thing after every dark match. Usually with a shirtless pic attached."

"Ooh, so you know about those , too?" Mustafa waggled his eyebrows. "You like 'em?"

Neville gave no response to this, though the hint of pink on his cheeks told Mustafa everything he needed to know. Cute .

Putting his glass down on the coffee table, Mustafa decided to follow Neville's example, and he also started to stroke Winston's back, the dog himself already sleeping. Mustafa had never known an animal that fell asleep so quickly until he met Winston. He nodded towards the TV. "I see you're watching a movie."

Neville looked to the screen. "Oh, yeah, that's right..." Had he forgotten all about it?

"Is it dumb?"

"Absolutely. You know I never watch anything good by choice."

"I knew it. So, what, is it a horror film?"

"It is, and it is atrocious , even by my standards. Sooner or later I'm gonna come across one that's actually decent, and I'm not gonna know how to handle it."

Mustafa chuckled. "There's no shortage of bad horror films, so I'd say your odds of finding a good one are pretty slim."

"Thankfully. It's, um..." Neville stopped suddenly, and Mustafa's brows furrowed.

"What?"

"It's... nothing, don't worry about it."

A statement sure to make a worrier like Mustafa worry every time he heard it. "Are you sure? You can tell me."

"Eh, you'll just laugh..."

"I will not." Mustafa's tone was gentle, yet firm. "I promise."

Neville blinked at him, then back at the screen. Mustafa couldn't even begin to imagine what it was that he was so hesitant to tell him. Of course, if Neville insisted that he didn't want to talk about it, then Mustafa would back off, but... Still, he didn't want Neville to think that he couldn't trust him not to make fun of him. Not if he wanted them to be back together for good.

Fortunately, Mustafa's prying seemed to be enought convince Neville. A moment later, they locked eyes again, and Neville quietly admitted, "Well... These movies just aren't the same when you're watching them alone. Sometimes I miss having someone to make fun of them with."

Oh. Mustafa's lips parted, his hand coming to a halt on Winston's back. This sudden stoppage caused Neville's hand to bump into his — ever so slightly, their fingers were touching. He expected Neville to flinch back, but he didn't, and his gaze was just as steady as it had been before. Mustafa couldn't bring himself to look away. Was this... an admission that he wanted he two of them to get back together...? Was that the sign that Mustafa had been looking for? He swallowed. "Um... Neville—"

BANG!

A sudden crash of thunder startled all three of them. The lights flickered, and a second later they went out, plunging the room into complete darkness. The loud noise prompted the now-wide awake Winston to leap off of the couch and bolt out into the hallway. "Winston, no!" Mustafa called after him.

"Christ, not again..." Neville griped. "Now is not the time for this..."

"No kidding..." Mother Nature sure had interesting timing.

The flashlight from Neville's phone was then turned on. Neville squinted at the screen. "Damn thing's gonna die if I keep the light on all night..." He muttered. He then stood. "I'll be right back, gotta go grab some candles."

"Can you check on Winston?" Mustafa pleaded to Neville's silhouette, which was already moving out of the room. "Make sure he's okay?"

"He's probably just in the kitchen — that's his hub whenever the power goes out." The little bit of light that had been in the living room faded away as Neville went down the hallway. "Yep, he's here. Hidin' out behind the island."

Mustafa breathed a sigh of relief. Winston was still scared, but at least he wasn't hurt. That was what mattered. "Good. You think he'll come back in with us?"

"Probably not." Neville's voice was fainter now — he must have gone into another room, possibly his bedroom. Mustafa was disappointed to hear this, but he had to have faith that Neville was wrong. He was sure Winston would rejoin them at some point before Mustafa needed to leave (he couldn't leave without properly saying goodbye, after all).

It was only when Neville re-entered the room holding two scented candles and a box of matches that Mustafa remembered the significance of those items.

The candles. How could he have forgotten about the damn candles ? He watched as Neville placed them down on the coffee table and went about lighting them, his brows furrowed as he moved the match from one wick to the next. That look of (almost unnecessary) concentration was such a familiar sight to Mustafa, one that he'd grown to like quite a bit during their time together, but also one that he had not seen for far too long. Now that he was looking at it again, he was transported to a different time, back when he'd first been invited to Neville's house. It very likely wasn't the same candles, but some of very similar scents and colors had been lit when he'd arrived. He teased Neville at first — he never thought he was a Mood Lighting kind of guy — but it turned out that he was just into candles. There was at least one in most of the rooms in the house. They had been a trademark of sorts for Neville.

Mustafa had lost sight of that fact after their separation. And now, on this gloomy, rainy night, he was once again being reminded of something that he'd missed terribly.

"There..." Neville's voice interrupted Mustafa's reminiscing, and he sat back down on the couch — notably closer than he had before, Mustafa realized. "That should be good enough."

Mustafa stared at the small, dancing flames. "Y...Yeah, it's fine," he replied.

"Something bothering you?" Shit. Mustafa had made his mood just a little too obvious.

"No, not really," he fibbed.

"Are you sure?" Then, "Am I... Am I sitting to close to you, or...?"

"No!" Mustafa quickly assured. "No, that's not it. It's..." He considered lying again, but after pushing Neville into talking a few moments ago he felt he had no right to keep any secrets from him — not to mention that Neville might get the wrong idea again. It was best to tell the truth. "These candles remind me a lot of the times we used to hang out. You had them lit all the time."

Neville followed his gaze, also becoming entranced by the fire. "Ah... Yes, that's right. The cinnamon one was your favorite, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"I wish I still had one, but it burnt out a long time ago. I didn't think to buy another one, to be honest."

Because Neville associated that scent with him. That had to be the reason. Neville had no reason to get a candle of someone's favorite scent if that "someone" wasn't even around to appreciate it. "I..."

"Hmm?"

"I..." Mustafa swallowed. "I miss you. A lot."

Neville didn't say anything to that. Mustafa continued, "I miss seeing you backstage, and talking to you regularly, and watching you wrestle, and just... being with you. Those nights we spent together were so fun , and I looked forward to them. I loved watching dumbass movies with you, and eating way too many sweets, and... everything else. But all of it— it just stopped . Out of nowhere. And I really, really wish that it didn't.

"I... I know you and I are both busy these days in our own ways. And I know that maintaining a relationship with our packed schedules is gonna be tough. But... I'm willing to give it a try, if you are. You obviously don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and I'm more than okay with you deciding that this isn't something that you're interested in, but I wanted to at the very least let you know how I feel."

Satisfied with his rambling, Mustafa took a deep breath, leaning back into the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and waited anxiously for Neville to reply — if he ever did. He was still staring at the candles, his expression unreadable. Maybe Mustafa's sudden confession was a lot to take in at once. Especially since it came out of seemingly nowhere, and was prompted by candles of all things. Is he... okay?

But then, faintly, Neville at last said something. "...I'm the one that fucked everything up."

"What...?"

"I'm the one that stopped texting you. I should've done more to keep in touch with you."

"But it's not like I ever tried to start a conversation," Mustafa argued. "I stopped, too. I'm just as responsible for what happened. You can't only blame yourself."

"I know, but..." Neville chewed his lower lip. "But I care about you. I never stopped caring about you, not even when I was sorting out my contract. And I should've done a better job at showing it. Instead, I just..." He shrugged. "I just let our relationship die."

Mustafa debated it for a moment, but ultimately he decided to take a chance, and he reached over and took hold of Neville's hand. For the second time that evening, Neville did not shy away from the contact. "It doesn't have to stay dead if you don't want it to. We can... try again."

"I want to," Neville admitted. "But like you said, it's not going to be easy. We're always traveling, and we're on completely different work schedules, and..."

"We can make it work," Mustafa cut him off. "It'll take some getting used to, but I think we can do it."

"But what if everything happens all over again? What if... What if something comes up and we just stop talking again?"

"Do you want that to happen?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Then let's try our hardest not to let it happen. We don't have to text every single day or anything, but if we both try to send each other something every now and again, things could work out just fine."

Neville swallowed. "...You're really serious about this?"

"I am," Mustafa said, clearly. "I wasn't lying before when I said that I missed you, and everything that came along with you. I wanna give us one more chance, see where things go. And if you want to, then... I say we go for it. What do we got to lose?"

Neville, whose eyes had been glued to the flames, turned his head to meet Mustafa's gaze. The soft, orange glow from the candles illuminated his face. The light gave him a haunting, mesmerizing appearance. One that Mustafa couldn't look away from even if he'd wanted to.

He looked... amazing.

Mustafa couldn't help himself from slowly leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips.

It was soft at first. Mustafa wanted to provide Neville with ample time to pull away. It wasn't until he felt Neville gently reciprocating the kiss that he deepened it, a hand moving up to cup Neville's cheek. Mustafa's lips parted, and Neville's tongue slid into his mouth. The intimacy was almost dizzying. This was what he'd been waiting for. After all that debating about whether or not to make that phone call, this was what he'd wanted. What he'd missed so badly.

It had been over two years since their last kiss. Somehow, this one was the best of all.

If only Winston hadn't decided that that was when he'd choose to return to the living room.

All the two of them heard was another rumble of thunder and the sound of nails frantically clicking on the floor before the dog leapt onto the couch, where Neville had been sitting earlier. "Oh my God—" Neville gasped, putting a hand on his chest. "What the hell, Winston?!"

Surprised as he was, Mustafa couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, he came back! That's good, right?"

"Would've been good any other time..." Neville moped, but Mustafa putting an arm around his shoulders prompted him to smile, and a moment later he moved in for a second kiss. Just as good as the first one.

"...Hey," Neville breathed out against his lips. Between kisses, he continued, "Did you... ever end up getting a motel room...?"

Mustafa froze, eyes wide. In the excitement of being back together with Neville, he'd forgotten about the other date he'd be having that evening — the one with the backseat of his rental. "Uh..." He grinned sheepishly. "No, I did not."

Neville smirked. Mustafa's heart rate ticked up just a bit. "Would you like to stay with me tonight? We still have some... catching up to do, you know."

Mustafa's expression mirrored his. Suddenly, his sleeping in the backseat seemed a hell of a lot less likely. "You're right..."

"Is that a 'yes', then?"

"It is. But , I left my bags in the trunk. With my pajamas in them."

This statement caused Neville to chuckle, and he kissed Mustafa again, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth when he pulled back. "Hmm, Mustafa..."

"What?"

"I wasn't anticipating either one of us sleeping with clothes on tonight..."

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

[stellar-aide]

> Kanaya: Discuss, once more.

[closetofanxiety]

NXT to the Main Roster: A Haphazard Examination, Part 2 (2016)

More wrestlers went from NXT to the main roster(s) in 2016 than in any other year, so I want to examine it separately in my ongoing question to determine whether getting a coveted spot on Raw or Smackdown (or a less coveted spot on 205 Live) likely means stagnation and disappointment. Again, the grades here are for the way these wrestlers have been presented to the WWE audience, not for the wrestlers themselves. Except, I guess, for the F handed out to Big Cass.

Sami Zayn

Call-up date: January 24. The perfect underdog babyface at the top of the card in NXT (a role they’re currently trying to give Johnny Gargano), Zayn has had a respectable but mostly unspectacular run on the big shows. While they were never going to build main event storylines around him the way NXT did, after his initial feud with eternal lifemate Kevin Owens, he kind of drifted around the middle of the pack without a clear character or motivation. Hampered by injuries, his heel turn was initially masterfully handled: by saving Kevin Owens from Shane McMahon, Zayn was, in the immediate aftermath, allowed to seem conflicted, uncertain, and anxious about what he’d done. It looked like there was going to be real character development, and then, in a few months, he was challenging Bobby Lashley to obstacle course races. 

Grade: C

Eva Marie

Call-up date: March 28. WE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. She could have been a sensational, crowd-baiting heel, as she was LOATHED by the super nerds in the WWE audience, who hated that she couldn’t wrestle and was only getting pushed for her looks. I mean, the same was true of Lex Luger ZING. Anyway, it wasn’t too be, and we’re left to wonder what could have been.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Baron Corbin

Call-up date: April 3. Big Banter has grown into the role that is probably the top-dollar best he can hope for in the WWE: a sneering heel near the top of the midcard who can talk well and wrestle well. He’s a plug-and-play guy for babyfaces who are being kept on the stove while the main event picture sorts itself out, and he does great at it. I saw Baron Corbin wrestle Tommy Dreamer at an NXT show in Albany once and thought, “This guy suxxxx.” But he has proved me wrong! Good for Big Breakfast Constable Corbin.

Grade: B+

Enzo Amore

Call-up date: April 4. I’ll go on record as saying he was used well as the shitty heel champion in 205 Live. Everyone hated him, and that was his role. That was probably his ceiling: top hate figure on the ‘C’ show, but we’ll never know.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Big Cass

Call-up date: April 4. His attitude and behavior must have really been something for Vince McMahon, The Big Man Liker, to so quickly part with a big man who could talk and was at least more adept in the ring than, say, the Great Khali. After the split with Enzo, they didn’t really seem to know what they were doing with him, so I’m not entirely sure we missed out on a legendary career or anything.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Apollo Crews

Call-up date: April 4. This decision remains a head scratcher. Crews made his NXT TV debut on August 22, 2015, and in less than eight months, was debuting on Raw. Although he’s an incredibly talented wrestler, I don’t know that his NXT stint was quite the rocket to the top that would justify this. Since his debut, he’s been totally lost in the shuffle and without a discernible character. His most significant match to date was a losing bid for the Intercontinental championship against The Miz on an episode of Smackdown. The Titus Worldwide stuff has helped, but not much.

Grade: C-/D+

Aiden English

Call-up date: April 7. Rusev DAAAAYYYEH. If it weren’t for his alliance with Big Matchka, English would be staring down the barrel of a D+. Initially arrived on the main roster as a tag team with Simon Gotch, the two had an undistinguished run that included Smackdown tag title tournament losses to the Hype Bros and Breezango. Now that he’s the guy who stiffly raps before Rusev comes out, English is basking in his Mizdow Moment. When it ends, though, what will become of the Operatic Superstar?

Grade: C-

Simon Gotch

Call-up date: April 7. His gimmick had a lot of potential: the super old-timey wrestler in a postmodern, post-kayfabe world. It never really got off the ground, though, and while his team with Aiden English worked at Full Sail, Vince’s dim view of tag teams generally, plus the material they were given, meant it didn’t have much of a shot on the big stage. WWE let the trademark on his name expire, which tells you a lot.

Grade: F

Dana Brooke

Call-up date: May 9. After kind of a hot start that I’ve largely forgotten - she was heel Charlotte’s protege, remember? - she quickly settled into the rut of main roster women’s booking, which tends to consist of two women fighting over the title and then everyone else forming an amorphous backdrop, occasionally emerging for random six-person tags involving the main eventers. Dana did eliminate Kairi Sane at the first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble, so that’s something, I guess. Since November, she’s been one of the few people in the company with a manager role, as an Alexandra York figure in Titus Worldwide. 

Grade: C-

Mojo Rawley

Call-up date: July 24. Did you know Zack Ryder’s been in the WWE system since 2006? He’s incredible. He’s like one of those NBA guys who you see playing five minutes in a playoff game, years after you assumed they had retired. Anyway, Mojo Rawley. He’s done as well as he’s ever likely to do, destroying Ryder after a heel turn, feuding with No Way Jose, and no longer being hyped. His main roster run hasn’t been disappointing, largely because his NXT run was about the same thing, minus the heel turn.

Grade: C

Nia Jax

Call-up date: July 25. Rock’s cousin or no, she’s managed to remain above the midcard scrum in the women’s division by having a unique look, as the only credible monster in the locker room. She has the problem that all monsters have sooner or later, which is: what do they do after getting beaten? In her case, it was a clumsy face turn in a bullying-themed angle with Alexa Bliss that didn’t do much for either woman. Still, because of her size and ability, she’s always somewhere near the top of the card, something that’s unlikely to change.

Grade: B

Finn Bálor

Call-up date: July 25. To my mind, he’s one of the few wrestlers who’s been better served on the main roster than he was in NXT. He’s the longest-reigning NXT champion so far, but his tenure there seems largely forgettable apart from his Beast in the East match against Kevin Owens and the bloodbath against Samoa Joe at Takeover: Dallas. On the main roster, he’s regularly near the top of the card, with his painted demon character receiving the holy-shit treatment, as we saw at SummerSlam. He’s become one of their most recognizable stars and the company clearly loves him.

Grade: A

Alexa Bliss

Call-up date: July 26. One of the best examples I can think of that demonstrates how a turn can elevate a wrestler, she went from boring, sparkly cheerleader to the top woman in NXT by becoming a heel. Initially the manager of the lookalike midcard tag team of Make and Blurphy, it was clear from the start she was bound for greater things. She’s been the signal success story of the WWE System in developing stars, as opposed to repackaging stars from the indies, Japan, and Mexico: Bliss is, if not quite a mainstream star, one of the most recognizable women in the company, constantly on top of the women’s roster, and winning raves for her incredible microphone work. Nerds who complain she isn’t good at wrestling probably wouldn’t have understood Abdullah the Butcher either.

Grade: A+

Carmella

Call-up date: July 26. OH THE IRONY! When she managed Enzo and Big Cass in NXT, she was despised by the Full Sail nerds, who would chant “you can’t wrestle” at her. Two years later, and here we are: Real1 is making unlistenable hip hop tracks for his Instagram stories, Big Cazz is set to make his indie debut for Big Time Wrestling in Spartanburg, S.C., and Carmella is coming off a 131-day run as Smackdown Women’s Champion, having beaten Asuka in matches on pay-per-view and free TV. She’s not at Alexa’s level as a heel - not many people are - but she’s done a great job of establishing herself in a women’s roster that suffers from way too many bland characters and storylines.

Grade: B+/A-

Jason Jordan

Call-up date: August 2. Listen, Vince hates tag teams. American Alpha was a red-hot team in NXT, where they got over thanks to their phenomenal work inside the ring. But even there, they were kind of bland as individuals. On the main roster, where tag teams rarely last, this spelled trouble. Jordan has been hampered by injuries, but even without that he’s a man adrift, the highlight of his tenure so far being the kayfabe revelation that he’s Kurt Angle’s son, which has mostly been treated as an afterthought. 

Grade: D

Chad Gable

Call-up date: August 2. Second verse, same as the first. They tried to spark some of that American Alpha magic after disbanding American Alpha by pairing Gable with Shelton Benjamin, with predictable results. I don’t think Gable’s been on television since May, and he’s not injured. He apparently feuded with Mike Kanellis on Main Event back in June, to give you some idea. He taped a thing for WWE’s social media channels with amateur wrestling god Dan Gable, which I liked, so there’s that.

Grade: D

Bayley

Call-up date: August 22. I will admit here that I did not “get” her gimmick in NXT. It just always seemed vaguely unsettling, and now we know that it led to the Cult of Izzy. That aside, she had an undeniable connection with the audience, largely thanks to her palpable enthusiasm and tremendous in-ring skill. I never really bought the commonplace line that she could become the female John Cena, mostly because I think that underestimates how much of Cena’s appeal comes from the fact that half the audience hates him. But she’s a true-blue babyface in a company that doesn’t really know what to do with true-blue babyfaces, and so her main roster stint has been something of a disappointment. It’s weirdly fitting that she’s locked into this seemingly endless frenemies storyline with Sasha Banks, another woman who was adored in NXT and who hasn’t really found her footing on the main roster.

Grade: C

Rich Swann

Call-up date: September 19. He had his moments in 205 Live, but it was clear his off-kilter personality and presentation were not what they had in mind as the Face of the Division. They were trying to mold him into what they have with Mustafa Ali or Cedric Alexander, when they would have been better off trying to make Swann the Dean Ambrose of the cruiserweights. Instead, well, we know what happened instead.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Austin Aries

Call-up date: December 18. I have a theory that Vince McMahon thought Austin Aries was Bobby Roode, and that when they hired the real Bobby Roode, Vince immediately said, “Well, then who the fuck is this guy?” 

Grade: F

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/26 NXT 10/28 NXT UK 10/29 Smackdown 10/30

Raw:

Wonder what 19/11 means.

...Arsenic??... What in the-- WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Boy y’all really nailed home how agonizing his suffering was before he died. My head hurts, this show is demented.

My god there are legitimately 2 of these psychopaths now.

wwe production should give Alexa’s voice a reverb effect whenever she says “let him in”

Girl is actually laughing hysterically while Bray ruthlessly murders Rambling Rabbit. Goodbye.

This act works so much better as a duo, Alexa was right in requesting to work with Bray.

kekekek Shayna makes a list of women she wants on her Survivor Series team; Nia snags the list and sees she’s not on it. Whose idea was this tag team? Need to know who I’m sending a fruit basket to.

Appreciate Mandy clarifying that Otis and her are still close, but I don’t understand why wwe separated them.

What is with everyone wearing black??

Lmfao this man really tried giving his rose to Shayna SIR PLZ. He had a better chance giving it to Sonya lesbireal.

Dana actually having a decent speaking segment. Half point.

“I feel like this is a joke. Is this like punk’d? Are we-- are we getting punk’d?” Nia came to entertain tonight.

Why can’t wwe just implement GMs again? Love Adam Pearce but he’s literally just playing the role of GM. Just keep them in the background with the mere purpose of cohesion. Good example: Paige. Bad example: Corbin.

This actually makes sense. You have the tag champs automatically being added, cuz duh, and the tag team who are undefeated since forming and moving to Raw. So have the 5th team member fight for the spot. I don’t hate that at all. At least there’s logic being applied.

I will never not hate Peyton’s theme. Yikes.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NIKKI CROSS’ NEW THEME LMFAO why are we throwing some bland, midwest country rock track with such a slow tempo at her??!? oof rip. Sucks for Nikki that Alexa wanted something more for her career but one could not possibly blame her, so.

ahahahaha I just noticed Nia took Byron’s seat. She’s so fucking funny.

Look if y’all are gonna do the move where someone lifts you over the top rope to set you on the apron, FUCKING JUMP FOR THEM. They’re not supposed to dead lift you.

Nice kick to Nikki by Lana; sloppy vault over the top rope. It’s kay, she isn’t even the worst one in this match lesbihonest.

Lacey gets Nikki in position for a suplex off the top rope, and Peyton - as quick as can be - jumps in to throw Lacey in a German suplex. That was smooth with very minimal set up. Points.

So Lana steals the win by pinning Nikki and the camera pans to all 4 team members looking absolutely shook. I am dying.

Interesting to see them focus on Peyton’s disappointment.

aaaaand rip Lana for the 6th time.

Such a jarring remix of Alexa’s song.

I know y’all are super weird and choose to sexualize/fetishize everything that you don’t understand, but I appreciate Alexa’s new persona. It’s like Firefly Funhouse characters meets Disney themed characters (which is core to Alexa) meets Harley Quinn. It’s a fitting cosplay with fitting demeanors. So if y’all could quit talking about ageplay like a bunch of weirdos, that’d be great.

Alexa and I are the same age and tbh I’m kind of shook on her behalf to see her share these segments and storylines with Randy Orton. Like I was a kid watching his feud with triple h. We were mere preadolescent kids lol. Good for her.

I like that she’s immune to Fiend’s name now that she’s fully embraced him become brainwashed.

Omg she’s just sitting on the turnbuckle laughing at them.

So Fiend is just a looming threat to Orton rn? Just letting Orton know that eventually he’ll have to answer for the fire he started all those years ago? I wasn’t here for Bray’s run back then so I’m kind of trying to piece this all together. Anyway fine segment. I don’t much care about Drew vs Orton but I appreciate Orton selling the intensity of the Fiend. He’s a good worker.

Highlight: Completely split between Nia being hilarious & Alexa being creepy as hell

---

NXT:

Well at least they’re keeping Ember backstage for her promos. That’s an improvement.

True, Dakota as a babyface was awful. Not sorry. Her character consisted of “scared” and “sad”... That’s it.

Big fan of the set for nxt tonight.

It’s so rare to see someone handle Rhea, what a nice dynamic.

These 2 are best friends irl, aren’t they? Enjoyable to watch them go punch for punch back and forth. If nothing else, they’re definitely selling that they’re pretty evenly built.

True though, Rhea does have her athleticism going for her. Rhea’s kicks are a beautiful thing to see. Soccer player ftw.

Really like this match. It’s cool to see the range of different matches Rhea can have. It’s not often you see her in an underdog type of role, and you wouldn’t think she could thrive as one, but it works for her just the same as being a dominant powerhouse. Shouldn’t be surprised though, her vs Charlotte at wm was a banger, and Charlotte was definitely the dominant force in that match.

Commentators said Rhea’s inverted cloverleaf has tapped out “many” superstars in nxt, and I just wanna know who? Cuz I have zero recollection of such.

Good showing for Raquel. Gave zero shits about her prior to this. She’s always just been the Diesel to Dakota’s Shawn Michaels.

GREAT counter by Rhea from the one armed powerbomb into nearly a headscissors takedown.

This match is very well paced.

Oh yes, that’s the type of match that easily could’ve gone longer and left me wanting more, which is a hell of a compliment. I underestimated how good this would be.

Wow they’re having Poppy rob us of Io’s theme song? For shame.

So how does the wheel actually work? Do they really not get a chance to plan out their stip matches? That’s weird. I love it, but it’s weird. Is it rigged? It’s gotta be rigged, right?

Love the black and orange themed ladders.

lmao Candice’s reaction to the bag of body parts. Fantastic.

Did Candice hit Io in the face with a laptop?? Honestly, points.

Lol chalk outlines on the tables. The theme is great.

Oh man, a moonsault straight onto chairs. rip Io’s midsection.

Wicked suplex onto the sitting chair, oof. Looked like Io clipped that.

Meteora into a steel ladder, which then fell on Io. She taking a beating lol.

Commentators mentioning Johnny counter: 3

Kinda cool spot twisting Candice’s ankle in a chair. Of course, it’s not like Candice sold the damaged ankle anyway, so.

Swinging neckbreaker through the tables - a spot that would’ve been great if the commentators had actually sold it and there was a real crowd.

idk who the hell is helping Candice, but I think it’s just fantastic that Shotzi came in to stop them.

“LeRae can’t reach,” as if this match wouldn’t have been over if she would’ve just climbed up one single ring.

Welp Candice is dead now. Fell off the top of the ladder through another ladder. Nasty landing. rip. 

Brutal match, but it still wasn’t better than their first match. At least Candice did work and this wasn’t boring unlike their last takeover match. Points for the damage they caused to their bodies, eesh.

Highlight: Rhea vs Raquel

---

NXT UK:

Oh nice UK added some monitors. Good for them, even if the stream quality is kinda poor.

I like this match up. Dani Luna is an athletic powerhouse, and Valkyrie is an athletic technician. This is more the type of quality match that I’d expect on the MR - minus the storytelling/performance aspect, but that’s okay.

Really appreciate Luna’s strength for how small she seems.

Valkyrie is fun to watch. Her arm drag takedowns and counters are entertaining.

Damn Valkyrie can do a springboard cross body and a pele kick as well? What an intriguing skillset she has.

Holy shit that snap German suplex by Dani was effortlessly CLEAN.

I’m not big on Dani’s look tbh. I feel like she’d be more of a standout if her hair was a different color. I don’t think blue works for her, personally.

An interesting finisher by Valkyrie... I don’t hate it. I’m all for the result, though. Good show of respect between both competitors. Wouldn’t mind watching them again in the future.

Current day has KLR still as champion (#foreverchampion) but I’m guessing they’re really gonna have Piper be the one to inevitably end it. Should be Valkyrie as far as I’m concerned. Even if she’s trash on the mic - not saying she is cuz I have no idea - she’s super entertaining to watch.

Highlight: Dani Luna vs Valkyrie

---

Smackdown:

New year, same old Nattie trying to be the Survivor Series captain.

Billie Kay is entertaining but wbk.

Bianca, ma’am, you JUST started going here. Calm down.

“Bianca nobody really cares, or knows, what EST means, it’s totally irrelevant. I’m the boat.” lmao I genuinely love Nattie, not sorry.

SHE CLAPPED AT HER goodbye. Give me a Bianca vs Nattie match, entertain me plz.

Ah a triple threat? That’s fine I suppose, what the hell.

Why does wwe keep depriving me of Bianca’s entrance? I hate this company.

Billie Kay: *jumps in the ring to catch Bianca in a random pinfall; fails; proceeds to leave the ring once more*

Billie Kay really is a special level of awful, but at least she has character work going for her.

Good cover by Bianca to set up the basement dropkick by Nattie to break up the pin.

Boy Bianca sure did take her time breaking up that sharpshooter. You got both Nattie and Billie Kay screaming and she’s in lala land lmao.

I will genuinely cry if they ever change Bianca’s music, I stg. Good for her btw. Appropriate result.

What’s the purpose of the polaroid camera?

Soo did they basically give Carmella the layout of Sasha’s gimmick while turning Sasha babyface? Is that what’s going on? What rules is Carmella making? What shots is she calling? Why does this girl have champagne? You know who would rock the “fuck y’all I’m rich, look at my Gucci and diamonds” gimmick? The Ice Queen, Charlotte Flair.

What an adorably tiny cross.

Carmella you’re not really known for winning, but alright.

Hate this music btw.

Lol this fucking chair. Okay.

“Long time rivalry renewed” didn’t Asuka and Sasha have a minor feud a mere 5 months ago? That lasted one month?? Is that considered long time now???

Sasha’s makeup is off key ngl. I hate that outfit as well.

Yes, yes she was your best friend and that was really sad, but you’re not saying anything different than you have before. And you’re STILL not likeable. But hey, I’m happy for you all the same, now be as entertaining as Bayley plz.

“The whole world knows that you can win a championship, but even you know that you can’t hang onto one. Unlike me.” pppffffttttt she’s not wrong.

Who do I gotta pay to permanently separate you 2? hiac was great, let’s end the debacle now plz.

“You made me sign that hiac contract under duress,” THANK YOU BAYLEY see someone knows their legal jargon. 

Peep that gnarly bruise on Bayley’s arm. Whew.

She’s so annoying lmao.

“Backstabbing bitches never win,” hi, Sasha? Longest reigning Raw women’s champion, first ever wm main eventer, first ever women’s dual world champion, face of the company, cover of espn and 2k20 Becky Lynch just called; said that is absolutely not true.

Highlight: Bianca, Billie Kay & Natalya backstage segment

---

*Raw shined the brightest this week, but I have to shout out NXT as well for their 2 matches, particularly Rhea vs Raquel.

[luchaundergroundstation]

The run down on Lucha Underground season 4.

Returning and non returning cast members.

Even though it has been green lit for a new season there is still much confusion in who exactly will return, considering they last tapped a year ago and many things have happened to much of the Luchadors involved with the show so i will do my best to fill all of you in.

John Morrison: A.k.a. Johnny Mundo will be returning for season 4. Not only was he the only one present for the first promo of season 4 but he has also said so in interviews done just after the new season was green lit that he will be coming back.

Storywise, since Puma is gone and likely wont return at very least for some time my guess is now Johnny will be the natural choice to move more into the role of main Luchador, tho El Dragon Azteca jr would also be a good choice Johnny has been in the show much longer and is more well known. Personally I would like to see him slowly return to being a tecnico (with Pentagon Dark as the new champ and the main tecnico of the show gone it makes sense) with the other members of the WWU turning on him, disbanding, or doing the same.

Brian Cage: A.k.a. The Machine Called Cage will be returning to LU, in a interview he has said that ever since they made him such a main player in the show that coming back only makes sense. Tho it seems that the show set it up in a way in which they could very well continue without Cage, all his feuds are settled and not only did he lose the three way match for the glove to Mil Murtes the glove is now in possession of King Cuerno tho it will be nice to how he handles losing the glove because The Machine is anything but a graceful loser.

Dulce Maria García Rivas: A.k.a. Sexy Star will not be returning to LU. Whether you like this fact or dislike it the decision was obvious. After the Incident with Rosemary in AAA Sexy has been basically blacklisted from the wrestling scene until further notice, In a podcast Eric Van Wagen an executive on the show, stated she had been let go. 

Storywise, this upsets me because Sexy was one of THE faces of the temple she was the Wonder Woman of the Lucha Justice League. She also had a unresolved feud with a spider obsessed mystery Luchadora who had been messing with her for the better half of season three. Her leaving hurts the character and spirit the overall roster has, tho there are many other Luchadoras who could potentially fill her spot she was one of a kind and she wasted her own talent.

Unannounced Talent 

Many current and former LU roster members are booked to appear in the opening night of a new promotion created by lucha legend Konnan called AroLucha. The talent consist of:

Willie Mack/The Mack 

Taya

Jack Evans

Daga 

John Morrison/Johnny Mundo

Pentagon/Pentagon Dark

Rey Mysterio 

And while LU has said they will be easing up on contract restrictions heavily so some performers could still come back to LU it’s still interesting to think about whether or not some of them would even want to.

Independent wrestler and former WWE roster member Jack Swagger has shown interest in going to LU so much so that he has had talks with ,close personal friend of his and writer/producer of LU Chris DeJoseph, that he wants to get into it even if they put him in a mask or give him a new gimmick. While it seems very likely that he will join the Temple he has not put pen to paper so for now it’s unannounced.

Budget and Production

Since Antonio Cue-Navarro and Alex Garcia (former Lucha Underground investors) are no longer funding the show the responsibility for the funding falls on the El Rey network itself, as a result the budget has been reduced considerably. Originally the average budget for one taping was around 800,000$ but now the budget can be expected to be half that. This also means that no more big names in the show (i.e. Rey Mysterio,Alberto El Patron or any other big names above the pay grade.)

Since LU had been on hiatus for well over a year and many of the roster members had signed up to seven year contracts this left many of them without work and unable to branch out to other promotions for that time. Altho Lucha Underground decided to relax their contracts and are now allowing the talent to branch out to other promotions and continue to be on promotions they are already in, the fact that they went unpaid and out of the ring for over a year has already left a bad taste in the mouth of many of it’s talent. LU is also showing interest in partnering with other companies to and exchanging roster members between promotions, however LU talent is prohibited on appearing on WWE or Ring of Honor and they are restricted in what they can do in what they can do in New Japan (i.e. holding titles or doing certain matches).

 This post will be updated as more news comes out but that’s all for now.

#Jack Swagger #AroLucha #LU

[askmicrowaveayem]

MAYEM: Fear & Loathing - Pt.3

[Previous]

[Archive] [Cast]

He sniffled and inhaled a few times to calm himself. “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD TALK.” Papyrus said after a few moments to regain his composure. “I’M GLAD YOU DID.”

“AND… WELL… YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SCARED OF MY DAD. I KNOW HE CAN LOOK CREEPY. NYEH-HEH. BUT HE’S HARMLESS. ESPECIALLY TO ANOTHER PAPYRUS.”

--

Papyrus smiled a little, looking maybe a bit proud of himself. “THEY TAUGHT ME.”

He shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the other Gaster, though. “...HE JUST…. HAS REALLY, REALLY HIGH LV.”

--

Papyrus looked a little sad at that. “YES… I KNOW… BUT… HE’S LIVED A VERY LONG TIME. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WAR?”

--

Papyrus nodded, though his version of what the war consisted of had been warped by his teaching. To him, it was less a war, and more a massacre. “I WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP WITH THE NEXT ONE.”

--

Papyrus winced a little at that.

“WELL, HE FOUGHT IN IT. THAT’S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE’S SO… JUMPY AND STRANGE.” Then he smiled, “BUT HE’D NEVER HURT US.”

He thought for a moment at what his father had told them about his first meeting with his double. “HE SAID THAT YOU POINTED YOUR ATTACKS AT HIM, BUT I BET HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, DID HE?”

--

Papyrus thought a moment, and slowly shook his head.

--

“IF THAT WAS ANYONE BUT YOU OR SANS POINTING ATTACKS AT HIM, HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN… SCARY. NYEH-HEH.” Papyrus looked off to the side, his arms still cradling his double. “BUT SINCE IT WAS YOU, HE WAS OKAY WITH IT.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE HE TRUSTS US AND LOVES US. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT ‘HIS’ PAPYRUS.”

--

Papyrus’ lower jaw wobbled again. “BUT WHAT IF I”D ACTUALLY HURT HIM...?”

--

“I DON’T THINK HE WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.” Papyrus said, as though this was a bit of a silly thing that his father did. Perhaps it had happened before.

--

Papyrus shook his head. “NO! I MEAN, WHAT IF HE GOT HURT BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID?”

--

“IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OKAY.” Papyrus said reassuringly. “IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AN ACCIDENT, EVEN IF YOU MEANT TO HURT HIM. NONE OF US WOULD BE MAD AT YOU FOR IT.”

--

“BUT HE WOULD’VE BEEN HURT,” Papyrus said, much more distressed about the idea of hurting someone than of getting in trouble for it. Especially someone who his double apparently loved very much and trusted….

--

Papyrus opened and closed his mouth for a moment. “HE’S… ACTUALLY KIND OF HARD TO HURT.” A hand reached up to scratch the side of his jaw. “BUT… WELL, IF YOU SEE HIM IN THE MORNING YOU MIGHT KNOW WHY.”

He tried to think of some way to reassure himself that even if he did get hurt, it would have been okay.

“SOMETIMES… YOU ACCIDENTLY HURT THOSE AROUND YOU EVEN IF YOU REALLY, REALLY DON’T MEAN TO OR WANT TO. THAT’S WHY YOU PRACTICE AND MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS HAVE PERFECT CONTROL OF YOUR MAGIC.”

“I PRACTICED A LOT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER BECAUSE SANS WAS SO WEAK. I WAS AFRAID OF HURTING HIM.”

--

Papyrus nodded, understanding that fear very well after he’d finally gotten a good look at the monster that had become his first friend. “THEN I’LL PRACTICE EVERY DAY UNTIL THERE’S NO WAY I’LL HURT ANYONE WITHOUT MEANING TO!!”

--

“THAT’S GOOD!” Papyrus encouraged, “BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR… GASTER. YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, SO THERE’S PLENTY OF TIME TO LEARN.”

“I DON’T THINK MY MAGIC IS THE SAME AS YOURS, BUT I CAN HELP IF YOU WANT.”

--

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. “YES! OKAY. TOMORROW?”

--

Papyrus laughed, “MAYBE! YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE GASTER IS OKAY WITH IT.”

--

“I WILL,” he said, and then started squirming in Papyrus’ lap, trying to get up again, but not used to getting out of a hug very well.  “I NEED TO GO SLEEP SO I’LL BE READY TO START IMMEDIATELY TOMORROW!”

--

Papyrus let him go and helped him up off his lap. “AFTER ASKING GASTER.” He repeated.

--

“RIGHT,” Papyrus said, trotting back to the window, summoning a thin bone to slide under the frame and give him room to push it open. Even as young and shaky as he was, the bone was just as smooth and perfect as could be.

As soon as the window opened, he quieted, and slipped through again, back into his apartment.

--

Papyrus was no stranger to having excellent control over his magic at a young age. They were both slightly more ‘perfected’ versions of their older brother, and things like that had come very naturally to him as well.

He slipped in the window behind him and very gingerly closed it once he was though.

--

Papyrus gave him a small wave before slipping back into the side room and crawling back into bed with his brother to fall asleep.

--

Papyrus returned it and did much the same, haphazardly rolling his lazy lump of a brother over so he could crawl onto the air mattress beside him.

--

Papyrus slept soundly until morning, and kept sleeping.

Gaster was already awake, trying to heat up some breakfast for the kids and guests, and re-estimating how much he should buy for the week to adjust for the new arrivals. The morning was pretty late; and he was the only one up.

--

For once Papyrus was sleeping in late too. The night out talking with his twin had been rather emotional, so he was catching up on what he missed and then some.

Gaster, however, hadn’t slept very well.

Despite taking a walk, then trying to sleep, then taking another walk, it amounted to about… well… nothing. He wasn’t tired but he was definitely stressed and on edge. Eventually he decided to just head back to the apartment, teleporting just outside before giving a very gentle knock.

--

With how quiet the apartment was while everyone was sleeping, Gaster heard the knock easily, and went over to answer the door.

Hey, he signed to his doppelganger, not wanting to use his voice and possibly wake anyone.

--

‘Morning.’ Gaster signed back and then looked around the room. ‘Everyone tuckered out from yesterday I guess.’

He was still fully formed, so clearly he hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.

--

Gaster nodded. Not you, though?

With asking to go to the lab, he would’ve assumed his double caught at least a little rest… apparently, he was wrong.

--

After a moment Gaster signed, ‘Too stressed. Too pissed. Thinking about going to that place and blowing off some steam, but decided to check in with you guys first.’

--

Gaster nodded his understanding. He didn’t like the idea of that place getting any more wrecked than it was, but… well. Better than anywhere else in the underground. Want me to come with you?

--

He seemed surprised at the suggestion, then smirked. ‘If you wanna see an old man throw a tantrum, sure?’

--

He snorted. Is a tantrum really going to help?

He meant it sincerely, despite the incredulousness of his expression as he signed. It seemed to him like a tantrum would only cause more frustration.

Yeah, I’m not letting you out unsupervised like that.

--

‘It does. Lets me clear my head.’

At his other signals though, he made a face and signed, ‘But mooooom!’

--

No backsass, Gaster said, narrowing his eyes. At least the other Gaster hadn’t questioned his ability to actually keep him in line.

--

Gaster put his hands up, accepting defeat.

He did one more check on his boys before ducking back out the door. ‘We good?’

--

Gaster wrote a quick note and left it on the table, explaining where they’d gone. Yeah, we’re good.

He closed the door and headed out behind his twin.

--

‘Teleport or walking?’ Gaster asked.

--

Walking, Gaster said. Teleporting was terrible, he’d decided.

--

Gaster seemed to understand and began to walk down the hall of the apartment, out into the street to where he knew the abandoned section of the city to be.

--

Gaster followed along with him, keeping them to empty streets as they went, just in case. He had no intention to do anything but watch, at the moment.

--((WELCOME TO THE WWE SMACKDOWN ARENA.))

Once they arrived at the ruins, Gaster spent a little time mapping out the area with his eyes before using telekinesis to set up figures with the rocks. They seemed to have a very particular pattern and distance from one another, as though he was recalling a memory from long ago.

As he did so, he asked, “Are you friends with Grillby here, by chance?”

--

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” he said, looking a bit apologetic. “Why?”

--

“That’s a shame. He’s a nice guy.” Gaster said as he continued setting up his targets. “We were war buddies. Drinking buddies. In my world he runs a little bar in Snowdin.”

--

Gaster nodded, watching his double set up his targets, trying to imagine some significance to their set up. “He may do that here as well. I’ve never been to Snowdin.”

--

“You should go sometime… when you have time, anyway.” He looked back at his double while finishing the last of his dummys. “Take the boys. Mine liked it there.”

Once everything was set up he stepped back, then rolled his wrist and summoned a bone, the end splintered off and sharpened to a fine point. He swapped from that to a blue bone, then back again.

He figured he’d keep the blasters away for this. No need to break down entire buildings and startle his counterpart.

--

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Gaster said, thinking that once things settled down here, it might not be a bad idea to get the kids away from the Capital for a little while.

As his twin summoned a bone, he took another step back, being sure to stay out of his way.

--

Gaster then practiced his other attack, raising a hand and pulling an array of bones from the earth, then pushing them back down again, then raising more, only these were broken off into a spike like the one still in his hand.

He pushed them back down again before looking over at the figures he had made from the rocks, then back at his double just to be sure he knew where he was.

The doctor took a deep, steady breath, his expression changing from the usual sort of happy calmness to… another kind of calmness altogether.

He darted forward, the jagged bone in his hand quickly finding itself stabbed directly into where the dummy’s neck would be before he pulled it out and kicked the formation of rocks apart into the ground. He spun around to the one nearest to him, elbowing it in it’s ‘face’ before stabbing it through the back and kicking it over.

Each movement was practiced, as though this was a dance he had done time and time again in his head. He didn’t smile or appear happy or sad. His expression was devoid of anger or emotion. It lacked anything at all. Even the white dots of his eyes had vanished.

--

Gaster watched.

He stood still, kept out of the way, and watched as his counterpart fell into…. probably a memory.

He didn’t make a sound, just studying the movements and watching, waiting to see when it would stop. There were a finite number of targets. It would have to stop, soon.

This wouldn’t help his counterpart. Maybe it felt like it did, for a while, maybe he liked re-enacting violent moments in a safer environment, but as a way to blow off steam?

He knew from his own experience. It probably wouldn’t do anything but suck him in deeper and make him feel worse. Maybe emotionally exhaust him until he didn’t have to feel inner turmoil anymore. But still. If it looked like things were going the way he believed they were, he-- he’d told himself he wouldn’t get involved, but, well, he’d already broken that promise long ago with the kids.

He wasn’t going to let his counterpart run himself into a ditch. Not if there was something he could do to help prevent it.

--

His counterpart was right.

These violent outbursts, these memories, really didn’t help in the broader scheme of things. They were temporary and really only let himself block out his emotions for awhile before they came flooding back.

A part of Gaster really wished he could feel as cold as he had back then, but… that wasn’t something possible anymore. Not with his boys.

So he fought. He played a memory over again to get himself back into that moment of unfeeling. Of just acting. It was only a temporary relief, if a relief at all.

He summoned an array of jagged bones to impale another target, ducked at some unseen force before pushing and stabbing another away, then going through similar motions with the rest of the dummys.

Stab. Duck. Attack. Side-step.

Eventually they were all just piles of rock.

Gaster stood towards the end of his little ‘training area’, his shoulders bobbing with breath that he probably didn’t even need anymore. He reached up and wiped at something unseen from his face.

He dropped the bone from his hand, the magic dissipating and vanishing completely before it even met the ground.

--

Gaster clapped his hands, as loud as he could, hoping the sound would shock his counterpart out of whatever was in his head. It reverberated through the empty ruins.

“All right,” he said, his scratchy voice faring worse than usual with his volume. “That’s enough memory lane. Welcome back to the present.”

--

Gaster looked up suddenly at the noise, the white dots of his eye flickering on and off for a few seconds before finding their usual dull glow. The look on his face shifted slightly before the mask was pulled back on, his toothless mouth smirking a bit as he strolled back to his double.

“Yeah, yeah.”

--

Gaster’s face remained stony and impassive. Unimpressed, even. “You’re stuck in your head. Get out of it.”

--

“Mmm…” Gaster mumbled and rubbed the back of his head. He wasn’t disagreeing but… well, honestly he didn’t know how to even begin to get out of his head. His head was all he had in the void.

It was… a pretty hard habit to break.

--

Though he didn’t know the exact reason his counterpart was stuck in his head, Gaster still read the look on his face and came to the right conclusion.

He softened a bit, uncrossing his arms and considered the other for a moment.

“...you focus on the here and now. Not what-ifs. Not distant memories. Here and now. Pay attention. Do something that requires attention. Machines. Building. Taking a new way home. If you need help, I’ll force you to pay attention. But get the fuck out of your head or you’ll be trapped there forever.”

--

Gaster looked at his twin and then… laughed. It wasn’t directed at him, but rather himself. It sounded tired and… maybe a little manic, but it didn’t last too long. Eventually he put his face in his hands and took a deep breath.

“No. Yeah. I know. It’s hard.”

He sucked in a breath and turned to look back at the scattered rocks he had knocked over. “I just…” The doctor began, but wasn’t sure what he was saying. “... just…”

He rubbed his head.

“I dunno.”

Then he laughed again at a sudden thought. “I can fix everything but myself.”

--

Gaster narrowed his eyes, summoned a blaster, and sent the most powerful blast he could at the field his twin had created.

It wasn’t as powerful as his double’s blaster, not by a long shot, but it rolled like fire, charring everything in its path and leaving only pebbles where there had once been boulders.

“We aren’t fucking machines. You can’t fix your Sans. I can’t fix my Papyrus. You and I are freaks of nature. I don’t give a fuck if I’m broken so long as I can do my job; I assumed you were the same.” He took a deep breath. Still trying to remain firm. Straight backed. Impassive. “...We’re not machines. If things are hard, we don’t stagnate. We can practice.”

Then, a moment later. “We’re going to be fine.”

--

He didn’t flinch at the sight of the blaster this time, his eyes watching more with interest on the differences of the two than anything else.

The hand rubbing his head moved down to his neck, covered in what looked like a turtleneck, but still clearly a part of ‘him’ once you knew what he was made up of.

It was… odd to hear those words. We’re going to be fine. Sure the boys had said that to him plenty of times, especially Papyrus, but it was different to hear it from yourself. A different version of yourself, but yourself all the same.

“You’re right.” He finally said after what felt like forever running his double’s words through his head.

Gaster pressed a thumb against the area between his eyes and squeezed them shut. He had his boys. They were working to find the anomaly. When they anomaly was gone they could all relax. They could all have a normal, happy life.

A life like the one before the accident.

After a moment he opened his eyes again and looked at his counterpart. It was so weird to be getting advice from someone, himself, so much younger. Wasn’t this shit supposed to be the other way around?

Damn.

His mouth opened and closed, then opened again as though he was hesitant to ask what he wanted.

Don’t be a pussy. Just… Just fucking ask.

“... What do you do about the flashbacks?” He paused, “You get them, right? The earthquake?”

--

Gaster closed his eyes for a moment and took another slow breath.

“...Yeah.” There were others, too. Being crushed. Water. Calling out, when nobody came, and forgetting how to speak. There-- he didn’t want to say a lot. But they were there. With him. “...I… try to remember where I am. Ground myself. Take note of surroundings. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out and pick up the pieces later. Sometimes, get up and leave the area. Do something else. If an anniversary is coming up, I hole up and prepare ahead of time. They… I haven’t been alive nearly as long as you, but they haven’t gone away. But they’ve become more manageable. They’re just a part of living, now. I just try to remember I’m okay. I don’t know what else there is to do.”

--

Gaster slowly nodded at his words. “Yeah they… don’t… go away. At least with time. They never have.”

He was avoiding looking at anything in particular.

“Didn’t used to be as bad before the boys. I had started to manage it. Then with them in my life I started to worry more. It wasn’t bad though. Not this bad.” The words just started coming, as though he had wanted to talk about this for eons but didn’t have anyone to listen. It wasn’t something he would ever talk about with Sans and Papyrus, it would just make them worry.

“Then the, uh… other accident.” He laughed a little bitterly, as though calling it an ‘accident’ was ridiculous. It was like calling a tsunami a flash flood. “It was like dying, but… not. Maybe dying over and over again. I don’t know.” He pressed a hand to one of his eyes. “Nothing is there but information. No air. No sound. No sense of touch. It’s fucking…” He let out another bitter laugh.

“Fucking…” He trailed off, unable to think of a word to describe it and instead letting his sentence just hang there, unfinished.

“Time doesn’t mean anything. I would pop in and watch my boys whenever I could. They grounded me then. But sometimes I would come back after what felt like a hundred years and barely a day had passed for them. It was maddening.”

The hand over his eye pressed harder.

“Just fucking… endless… fighting.” He stopped then, perhaps realizing how much he had started to ramble.

--

Gaster listened as best he could. If his double needed to talk, he’d listen. If he could help someone else, it’d make up at least a little for all the other things he’d failed to be kind in. Still, though the description was still rough and not very specific, his head jerked very slightly at the description of the void. Time that meant nothing. No touch or sound. He hadn’t experienced it for himself, no, but something in the description struck a little too close to home and he dug a finger into one of his hand holes out of an old habit he thought he’d broken, and tried to listen again.

“...” he didn’t know what to say. There were a lot of things he felt like might be useful--maybe the flashbacks returning was a sign his double was starting to actually process what he’d been through, maybe he did need to reenact danger in a safer environment, but not the exact same fights over and over, maybe he could help some--

--but he didn’t know if his double needed to hear those things right now. And if he fucked this up, he didn’t know if he’d ever be confided in again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“...but you survived.”

--

Gaster laughed. He closed his eyes and laughed.

“Yeah. Yeah I did.” He finally smiled, “Thanks to Sans. Papyrus too.”

“Without Papyrus’ encouragement Sans would have never built the machine again. Would have never dragged me out.”

“You’re right.” He said, then repeated and his smile broadened a little as he remembered another thing his double had said.

“... You’re right.”

The doctor paused before giving his doppelganger a look as if to say ‘I’m about to show you something very fucking personal’ and then… a dim white light glowed in his chest and he pulled out his soul.

It was attached by thick black tendrils and looked… well… fucking horrible.

Two holes were drilled from each side and the entire thing looked like it had been thrown against a wall and shattered a number of times. It was all glued together by what made up his body, the ‘void’ wrapping around it and keeping it together.

“We’re broken, but… we’re here.”

He pushed it back inside of himself.

--

Gaster didn’t dare breathe while his double’s soul was out, as if he were afraid the slightest movement could shatter it.

He lost his voice again. Hopefully, it would be temporary, but--but for the moment, he hoped the switch to signs would show his double that he realized, at least in some small way, how much that must’ve meant. To be shown someone’s soul without prompting, and allowed to see all their cracks.

If you ever need anything, he said, not sure what else to say, just let me know.

--

Gaster nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah. Thanks.”

He went quiet, unsure of what else to say.

--

THe silence quickly grew uncomfortable to him, so Gaster flicked his hands up once more and said, How are you feeling?

--

Gaster switched to signs just because it was so easy to when you saw someone else do it, ‘A little better I think.’

--

Good, Gaster said, nodding. Even after spending a lot of time with his double, it was still nice to have someone sign back. Still feel like destroying things?

--

Gaster smirked, ‘I always feel like destroying things.’

--

Gaster snorted. Right. How did I forget about that, and rolled his eyes before looking back out over the area.

Well. This is still your best place to do it. There’s probably not much more you can do to mess it up, anyway. he said. Even when he stopped moving his hands in gestures, he continued fidgeting with them. Their talk had been good, he didn’t regret it at all, but it had definitely pulled some of his worse memories closer to the surface and just holding out through them wasn’t going to work the best right now, so he tried to fidget and push them away until he got somewhere a little bit better for that. Distraction was always something his hands could do.

--

‘Yeah…’ Gaster said, looking out over the rubble again. ‘Maybe I’ll bring Papyrus out here to spar for a bit with me. He’s always a challenge… even for an old war vet like me.’ He grinned.

--

His eyes flicked up in interest, despite himself. Does sparring help?

It had been a long time since he’d sparred anyone… sparred, not fought. He had a new chip on his skull to prove that much, at least. Most monsters who even knew he could fight had long started avoiding him.

--

‘Sometimes, yeah. Papyrus loves to spar too, likes to prove that he’s strong and can protect us. As for Sans… well, we spar more out of necessity to know he won’t get killed.’

‘He’s very good at dodging.’

--

He snorted again at that. Despite all he’d seen his Sans do, the thought of him fighting was still a little… well. Hard to imagine. Sounds like fun. It’s good you have each other to do that with, then.

--

‘Yeah. As you know I’m still… edgy about humans.’ He gave his double an apologetic look. ‘And we ARE tracking down something capable of killing without remorse. I need them to be prepared to defend themselves.’

His hands fell to his sides, but only for a moment. ‘Hopefully neither of them ever really have to use it and I can just deal with the dirty work.’

--

Gaster nodded in understanding. Right. It makes sense.

He thought a moment, not sure if it was appropriate for him to mention his own problems at the moment, but figuring his double was forthright enough to say something if so. ...I should start sparring again, probably. With both Sans and Papyrus in my care, and how tense things are right now with the factions in the lab…. I don’t want either of them to feel like they have to defend themselves, as long as I’m there to protect them. But it’s been a while, and I don’t really have anyone who’d willingly go full-out against me.

--

Gaster gestured to himself with barely any thought, but he had to ask; ‘Factions?’

--

….some don’t think Serptrine was wrong. Gaster said. That’s all. We’re… sort of in a… yeah. Some people don’t think Serptrine was wrong.

He sighed, and raised his eyebrows at the gesture. What does, he mimicked it, mean.

--

Gaster… did not look happy at that. How the fuck. How the fuck.

No. No don’t get pissed.

Lacking a nose he inhaled sharply through his mouth and exhaled slowly.

‘I meant I can spar with you.’

--

Gaster read that look as well, and shrugged helplessly, in a ‘hey, I’m trying to hold it together’ type way.

And at the words, he said, You sure?

--

‘Sure I’m sure.’ He signed, ‘Besides, after hearing about THAT I think I need to blow off steam again.’

‘I won’t slip back into my mind. Sparring is very different for me. Besides, you can probably stab me all you want and I don’t think it would hurt.’

--

He snorted. Good. If you slipped back into your head, I’d take your head off.

At the second part, he considered a moment. It’s good to hear that, then. But am I going to have to tell you to not go easy on me? I know you’ve been calling me the ‘nice Gaster.’ But I maintain. I’m just the less obvious one.

--

‘I’ll have to see how you fight first.’ Gaster said honestly. ‘I’ll adjust accordingly. Better to start off holding back and then ramp up then go too hard from the start.’

‘For safety.’

--

Don’t wait too long, Gaster said, smiling a bit.

He might still have some self-destructive tendencies.

Haha. Self-destructive.

--

‘I won’t. I should get a pretty good feel for you quickly.’ Gaster said, although he knew he hadn’t sparred with anyone that wasn’t Sans or Papyrus.

--

Gaster nodded. All right.

--

‘Anything off limits? I assume-’ Gaster motioned to the scars and just his general face area.

--

Gaster gestured to his rightmost scar, the one which wrapped all the way around his head. If you take half my skull off, my half-dead corpse will definitely find a way to kill you. Otherwise, I’m good. You?

--

‘I’ll be keeping my soul about right here.’ Gaster said, pointing to the right side of his chest. ‘Avoid that, but everything is fair game. Don’t be afraid to stab the shit out of me.’ He smirked.

It had been a hell of a day when he had figured that out.

--

Gaster nodded, glad that his double had at the very least one weak point to mention. In a weird way. Even if having a weak point wasn’t really something he should be glad for.

All right. So, what, do we just shout ‘start’ and go?

--

He held up a hand and started to pull things out of himself. His tablet, a magazine, a notepad and some notes, as well as the device he used to transmit to his sons. All were laid in a pile before he nodded.

“Ready?” He said, “Set.”

Another pause just to be sure his other self was ready. “Go.”

--

While his other self discarded his objects, Gaster thought a moment and shed his coat, folding it neatly on the ground. It was a really nice coat. He didn’t want to fuck it up.

The minute his other self said ‘go,’ Gaster retreated.

--

… Huh. Already and his double’s tactics greatly varied from his own.

Gaster summoned the same sharp bone as before, but this one was blue. It would burn rather than maim, which was good and enough to drive the point across.

He charged for his counterpart, but was clearly much slower.

--

He was slow. Huh. He wondered if that was because of his form’s troubles with solidity, or if it was just another of the many differences between them.

He ducked into what had once been an alley and took a sharp turn, coming around so that he had a different angle on his double.

Still moving, he summoned a cat blaster, and sent a shot out an opening over top the rubble, aiming it for his double’s feet. The beam was thin and would damage a normal monster fairly well, but, well. He was pretty sure his double would be more upset about having to reform legs.

--

Perhaps once this was all over they would have a nice little talk about their differences. That seemed to be a reoccurring thing for them to do.

He rounded the corner just in time for the blast to take out one of his feet.

What? Oh god dammit.

Okay, taking it a step up then.

He spun in the opposite direction, the familiar sound of electrical popping coming from beside his double as a hole ripped open and he stepped out, swinging his blue attack down towards the other’s chest.

--

He saw blue, and froze, assuming it would pass through him if he did, not thinking if there were perhaps differences between the blue magic he was used to and his double’s.

Still, his double was far, far too close now. He wanted to run.

--

He was right. The blue slashed right through his double’s chest with only a slight tingling sensation. If he still had his other foot this would probably be where he would kick him, but… well balancing on one leg wasn’t very fun.

Instead he summoned a blaster overhead, the huge maw pointing downwards where the other stood.

[wrestlewriting]

#10 [Finn Balor]

Requested, #10: “Did no one ever tell you that catcalling is rude?” (Prompt from here.)

Word Count: 1,277

Author note: This is kind of angsty, kind of rude, kind of not what you’d expect from a Finn story probably. But oh well. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows. (Enjoy. DK, don’t hate me for what I did to your request.)

@thebadchic @running-ropes  @wrestlingnoob @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @wrestlingnoob @alexahood21 @castielscamander @cosmicswimming @spine-buster @heelturn-timesten @crookedmoonsaultpunk  @morgunsilver @wrasslin-rollins @imnobodiesbitch @morgancorbin @reigningambrollins @ryrybebe @bbmbabe @allhailthe-demonking @rebelfleur22 @alynevelludo2 @im-indestructible @heelstarla @heeltothequeen @sixdegreesofsamson @vixxyvampire @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @spot-of-bother @bolieve-that @lclb13 @songsofasirenqueen  @sammiielli @cfloyd776 @daintymissdevitt @metabalaba  @nopeitsnat

Everyone always assumed that Finn Balor was a kind, gentle, nerd of a sweetheart. That he had no mean bones in his body. That the Demon character he played was him basically cosplaying, pulling from other entities and ideas that weren’t really him.

Those people were wrong.

Finn was able to make the Demon part of his persona so real because it was in some way. True, most of the time he was the nice one, the soft one, the fun one. But everyone had a dark side, parts of themselves they weren’t always the proudest of. Cruel. Manipulating. Conceited. Finn, he had that too. It was better known as Prince Devitt before he came to the WWE.

She’d only moved to North Carolina a few weeks ago for her job. Prior to that, she’d been in Jacksonville, Florida for years, which is how she had met Finn. The story was blurry after almost two years but it involved a bar and a healthy amount of beer.

It was an open secret that she and Finn weren’t “just friends”. Fuck buddies, that would be more appropriate to say. Even if she didn’t see it that way. But no one dared say anything out loud, at least not that she’d ever heard. It was based on the looks she got as she walked the hallways, attempting to find the area where Finn said to meet him, that she knew everyone knew.

The farther she got into the arena in Greensboro, the more she had to reflect on just how she had gotten here. She had assumed it was just a one night stand when she had met Finn. But NXT traveled to Jacksonville regularly, and it wasn’t like his home in Orlando was all that far at only two hours away. She had in fact done that drive more than once. She tried not to call it a ‘booty call’, claiming that it wasn’t like that. Her friends never let her get away with it though.

She had always anticipated that their relationship would go beyond physical acts and into more. So she kept coming when he called.

Hope was a dangerous drug.

“…where do ya want me?”

His voice was so easy for her to pick out over the other sounds of the backstage area. It wasn’t even the accent, unique to him. But it was his tone, the little flit it had. Maybe she was the only one who had ever noticed that.

Stepping into the room, she did her best to stay hidden. Her eyes scanned over every detail of Finn in his ring trunks and leather jacket, surrounded by lights against a white background. The photographer was moving around a bit as Finn stared them down. She wondered how hard it was to narrow down pictures of him, knowing that almost all of them had to be great.

Five minutes later, he was being told he was done. As Finn walked off the set and came behind the lights, his eyes finally landed on her.

“OW OWWWW!” She couldn’t help but call out, giggling after. Many of the heads of the people in the room turned at that but turned back around once they realized Finn clearly knew her.

“Did no one ever tell you that catcalling is rude?” he questioned as he came closer.

“Guess I missed that lesson,” she teased back, standing on her toes to kiss him. Finn, however, put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her in the motion.

“Not here.”

She was used to this, but it still stung a bit.

“Come on.” She followed after Finn out of the room, always staying a step behind him in the hallway. It was the routine. He was a private person, and he didn’t want his coworkers blatantly knowing how they were. There was nothing wrong with that. He wasn’t a fan of PDA, not everyone had to be.

“Hang here for a minute, yeah? I’m gonna change,” Finn explained as he gestured towards the locker room they had arrived it. She nodded slightly, watching as he walked away, the door swinging shut behind him.

And then she was left in the hallway, without the reason she was here. She didn’t recognize anyone that walked by, but she still felt like they were staring at her, questioning her presence, judging it. She stepped back until her body met the opposing wall, trying to shrink into herself the most she could.

It had never been like this at NXT. Why did it feel so…suffocating now?

The minutes ticked by slowly as she waited for him to reappear. And when he did, dressed in black track pants and t-shirt, she was pretty sure she stopped breathing. How did someone look so good all the time no matter what? It was disgusting, honestly.

No words were said, just head tilts and eye contact, that let her know he expected her to follow after him.

“So how’s North Carolina treatin’ ya?”

“Good so far,” she answered. “Settling in just fine. Did you see the pictures I sent you of my view from my place?”

“I did, yeah, sorry ‘bout not replyin’. Been a bit busier now bein’ on the main roster,” Finn explained.

That was fair enough. She knew it was a lot more taxing to be traveling further and more consistently. His life had changed a lot recently.

But apparently what hadn’t changed was them, as she found herself led into an empty room, far away from where they’d come from.

He felt the same against her, his body still just as solid and strong against hers. Skin so soft yet so taught. His kisses were the same; possessive, rough. She knew to get her own shirt off and push up his, as he was too involved in working on her jeans.

The sex was the same as it always was when backstage: fast, hard, intense. This wasn’t about tenderness and affection, this was primal and wanting. It was never this harsh when they were at his place, but public sex had a sense of urgency ingrained in it.

Finn, to his credit, always made sure she got off the same he did. It was a show of care for her that she always told herself meant something. That this wasn’t just about him.

It was quiet as they got redressed, and she couldn’t help but sneak peeks at him as they did. He never looked at her, but she enjoyed watching him all the same.

“Will I see you after the show?”

“Probably not, love,” he replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head. Love. It was meant to soften the blow, she knew, but it didn’t. “We have to get on the road.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” he stated, finally turning to her, taking her face in his hands. His kisses were soft this time, soothing her.

“It’s fine,” she assured him, her hands going to his sides, gripping at the cotton. “You’re a lot busier now. Not like you’re just driving home a couple hours.”

“Very true,” Finn agreed, kissing her again, letting go of her. She took the cue to release him as well. “I’m sure we’ll be back in this area soon enough though.”

“Probably,” she agreed, though she wasn’t sure of the truth of his words. “And I know I’ll be back down in Florida in a few weeks probably. Family is still there and all. I’ll let you know when.”

“Yeah, OK.” With a kiss to her forehead, he looked her over once more. “Ya look good, babe. Take care of yourself.”

Finn turned, opened the door, and walked out.

[placetobenation]

Victoria. Victoria, Victoria, Victoria. If you’re looking for someone to blame for this hot mess that you’re (hopefully) reading every week, look no further. Yes, this is all her fault.

Victoria taught me that in wrestling, I like my heels like I like my women: goofy, clever, and showing a whole lot of ass.

*tugs collar*

OK, it’s getting awfully gay in here already so let’s rewind. We have a LOT to get through before we even get to that point.

Victoria had one of the deepest and richest careers of any Diva, working up and down the card and on both sides of the fence in a variety of roles. She was also one of the best wrestlers of any Diva, and by my count racked up more good matches along the way than any other woman of the era.

First of all, I think it’s neat that when Victoria signed with WWE they put a clause in her contract stating that she was legally obligated to have at least one (1) great match with Trish Stratus every year that they were both on the roster. I mean I can only imagine it was stipulated in her contact because no matter what they were doing in any given year, they’d always find each other and have a great match.

Of course that all started when Victoria debuted in 2002 and launched right at Trish, in a feud that broke barriers for the kinds of violence the women could get up to in WWE.

They had a wild old romp on the September 30th Raw that ended in Victoria nailing Trish with what I believe was the first ever woman on woman chairshot in WWE history. This lead to two big gimmick matches for the Women’s Title: Hardcore Rules at Survivor Series and a Chicago Street Fight on Raw in January 2003. Both are awesome plunder matches that are chock full of weapon shots and nasty brawling. They were not missing each other with these shots, let me tell you.

And even outside of the gimmicks, the nasty brawling remained; this feud was basically one big, long brawl, occasionally broken up by a ring bell or, I would hope, sleeping and eating. For months Victoria and Trish just lived to punch each other in the face.

Or, as Victoria put it, “I want to take Trish’s SOUL!”

Victoria wasn’t just stiff and nasty, she was also quite insane. I think that’s what people remember about her from back then right? Crazy Victoria. She had the creepy entrance with TaTu and the eyeballs and the twitching, she had the creepy boyfriend following her around, and she said inexplicable things like “I want to take Trish’s SOUL!” (I’m sorry, it’s such a ridiculous line and I can’t stop thinking about it.)

She has this two week feud with Stacy Keibler after winning the Women’s Title that kind of captures her in a nutshell, because in the space of two weeks Victoria beats her up, threatens to murder her and licks her face, beats her up some more, BITES THE FINGERNAILS OFF HER FINGERS, and debuts the Widow’s Peak and kills her dead. Crazy Victoria was… a LOT.

In all seriousness she really was a lot though; Victoria had to play a lot of different roles and get a lot of things done in her time in the company. Once she turned babyface in early 2004 the main thing she was getting done was wrestling, pure and simple. Victoria wasn’t as suited for the babyface role as a character, but she made up for it by working super hard in the ring and consistently delivering, having good matches with pretty much everyone in her sight.

She matched up surprisingly well with Lita in a fun babyface match at Backlash 2004. She had good matches with Trish with the roles reversed. I was sold on the idea of her against Jazz after the triple threat at Wrestlemania XIX, and a year later they finally had some matches and I was not disappointed. Victoria was working out of her skin with anyone she faced.

It’s a shame that the hair match at WrestleMania XX was probably the worst match she ever had with Molly, because they pretty much always did good work together. In fact the things they did to each other were downright scary at times – Molly ripped Victoria’s hair clear out by the roots, Victoria slammed Molly’s head so hard it bounced like basketball. One time Victoria pulled Molly’s wig off to reveal her bald head and Molly just straight up took her down and choked her until she died.

Their match at Unforgiven 2004 was their best and has some great arm selling by Victoria. Her selling in general was great in this period, actually, and it was crucial to her ability to garner sympathy as a babyface even though she was bigger and stronger than all of her opponents. Her and Gail Kim, in particular, had a lot of good limb work matches.

Victoria also had a very pleasing babyface comeback that consisted of her punching fools in the face. Hard not to love a girl with a great right hand.

But after a productive run as a working babyface, soon enough Victoria was back to living her best life – being a heel and beating people up.

Her first run as a heel was all about Crazy Victoria, this one was more… Surly Victoria. She combined with Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle to form Vince’s Devils to take on Trish and Co. for a fun few months, and Victoria naturally worked as the heavy for that team and carried the bulk of the in ring work.

In fact, Victoria carried pretty much the entire heel side of the women’s roster in 2005-06. She really put a shift in during these years, doing everything from giving Christy Hemme a solid five minute PPV match, to working with Mickie James when she first came in, to hooking up with Trish again and inevitably having great matches. She had the ability to give new girls like Christy or Ashley everything they needed and make them look credible, and then turn on a dime and instantly look like a world beater against Trish or whoever the champion was.

She had one such moment in December 2006 when she had a fun mini push based on her ticking names off a checklist on her way to the Women’s Title. She won a battle royal that was basically an extended squash with her killing all the other girls, and then week by week she would just monster them one by one and tick them off, leading to a title shot against Mickie James.

Victoria was credible in any role they gave her – heel or face, goofy or serious, jobber or champion. She was a trooper.

My favorite little thing about this period was during Vince’s Devils when Victoria would look so exasperated at having to carry Candice Michelle while she was being silly, doing her dance and waving her magic wand around. Little did Surly Victoria know that she’d end up being the silliest of them all soon enough.

It was a move to Smackdown that did it. There are few things that got a wrestler in the 2000s going more than a move to Smackdown, and Victoria was no exception. And thus we enter phase three of Victoria’s heel career, the one that stole my heart: Goofy Victoria.

Goofy Victoria announced herself with a bang during the annual Divas Halloween Bullshit Dress Up Nonsense Battle Royal in 2007. Everyone else came out as a sexy this or a cute that. Victoria rolled out in a giant sumo costume, tumbling and bumbling like a boofhead.

And she just took off from there. The Smackdown women had a Diva Search-style competition in early 2008, and every week Victoria would find a way to be more and more ridiculous – stumbling through an obstacle course, hamming her way through arm wrestling (“Got a ticket to the gun show, Michelle?”) and wearing a snorkel and flippers to a water fight. It was about this time that I started to feel a strong desire to move to America and marry this woman.

They key is that she found a way to be this extra during her matches as well. It wasn’t just about dressing up and slipping in puddles, it was about booting a girl in the gut and yelling “GOOOOOOALLLLLL!” in celebration, or cutting someone off and gleefully saying “Not today!” before eating something else, or just shit talking and bragging her way through a match only to slip on a banana peel and get rolled up in the end and looking absolutely SHOCKED about it every time. The Bellas debuted doing their Twin Magic gimmick on Victoria, and she would try so hard to solve the mystery only to be foiled every single week, like the Wil E. Coyote of wrestling.

She was perfect. The comedic heel worker of all my dreams.

Victoria vs. Cherry is a match that legitimately changed my life as a wrestling fan. The easiest way to explain it is as kind of a women’s version of Razor Ramon vs 1-2-3 Kid. If you don’t remember her, Cherry was the sweet, rollerskating valet of Deuce and Domino, reluctantly participating in her first match. Victoria kicked her all around the schoolyard, talking trash and toying with her the entire time, only for Cherry to snag the win in a big upset.

This match is my happy place; four and a half minutes of the most blissful fun I have ever had with a video on the internet. I’ve probably watched this match a thousand times. It is a treat. A balm. A drug.

In less than five minutes so many aspects of my fandom were illuminated and solidified for me. My love of Victoria and her goofy heelish perfection. My love of goofy comedic heels in general, which only grew from this point on. My love of Cherry (more on her in the future). And most of all, my love of four minute Divas matches, and the infinite possibilities for entertainment they held.

I always appreciated the Divas, but by the end of 2008, for this and other reasons, I was hooked. And thus began an obssession that has somehow lead me to writing these pieces for you lovely people today. So I guess blame Victoria. Or thank her. Delete where applicable.

Glad to get that off my chest. Tune in next week for whatever I decide to write about next week, I don’t quite have an idea yet. Toss any suggestions my way if you have them.

Check it out: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria – Women’s Title (Raw, September 30th 2002) Victoria vs. Trish Stratus – Women’s Title Hardcore Rules (Survivor Series 2002) Victoria vs. Trish Stratus – Women’s Title Chicago Street Fight (Raw, January 27th 2003) Victoria vs. Trish vs. Jazz – Women’s Title (WrestleMania XIX) Victoria vs. Lita (Backlash 2004) Victoria vs. Jazz (Raw, May 31st 2004) Victoria vs. Molly Holly (Vengeance 2004) Victoria vs. Gail Kim (Heat, October 10th 2004) Trish Stratus vs. Victoria – Women’s Title (Raw, September 26th 2005) Mickie James vs. Victoria – Women’s Title (New Year’s Revolution 2007) Victoria vs. Cherry (Smackdown, April 18th 2008)

[daleisgreat]

2016-17 TV Season Recap Part Four: Bonus Summer TV Edition

Previous TV Season Recaps – (2013-14 | 2014-15 | 2015-16 2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 1 (Gotham, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow) 2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 2 (Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Legion, Riverdale) 2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 3 (24: Legacy, South Park, Horace & Pete, Stranger Things)

I did not anticipate there being so many new shows to keep up with this summer, and the last summer shows just wrapped up over the last few weeks in time for season premieres of the shows I am currently following. When I reflected back on the summer, there ended up being six seasons of shows I wound up devouring throughout the summer, and it felt like plenty to warrant a quick blog with my thoughts of the summer of television. A few of these shows I covered in prior TV Season recaps, but their premieres got pushed back a few months to the summertime instead of their usual spring debuts, and a few other shows caught my eye too, so let’s get to it! Glow - For those unfamiliar with GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) it was a edgy women's wrestling league that ran from 1985-90. The Netflix series focuses on a new cast of fictional characters with some based on personas of the former wrestler's in the promotion. Glow centers on one Ruth Wilder (Alison Brie) who has been looking to catch her first break in Hollywood and took up a role in GLOW because it was the only thing available. The 10 episode season introduces the cast of the dozen or wrestlers and builds up to the season finale which is the shooting of the pilot episode. Obviously, the wrestling nut in me is really biased on this, but I feel safe in saying it is a legit good show and you do not need to be a wrestling fan to dig it. Only about 30% of the show deals with wrestling while the rest is fleshing out the rest of the cast. Wrestling fans will dig a few cameos from former WWE/Impact stars peppered throughout the show. The episodes are roughly a half hour each and with only 10 episodes it made for a quick and entertaining watch. Grade: B+

Defenders - This is the equivalent to the Netflix Marvel Universe to what the first Avengers was to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Defenders is the team-up show of the four heroes introduced in past Netflix Marvel shows over the last few years featuring Daredevil (Charlie Cox), Jessica Jones (Krysten Ritter), Luke Cage (Mike Colter) and Iron Fist (Finn Jones). I loved seeing Daredevil, Jones and Cage back again and kicking ass, especially once they all start teaming up in the back half of the show. Another positive is this season is only eight episodes compared to the usual 13 of previous Marvel Netflix series so there is a lot less fluff. On the negative however, Defenders doubles down on nearly everything I loathed on the Iron Fist show. I am not a fan of the villains known as ‘The Hand’ at all as they come off as meaningless cannon-fodder, but Marvel went all in on them this season by unleashing Elektra (Elodie Yung) as their leader. She kind of gives The Hand a smidge of an edge, but I was never much of a fan of Elektra either so that did not really help. Like most of the Internet, I was not big into Iron Fist also and it is unfortunate that Iron Fist is the primary focus of the four heroes in most episodes as he plays a pivotal role in trying to vanquish The Hand. By the end of the show I still was not swayed to be a fan of either Iron Fist or buying into The Hand as a formidable antagonist, but at least I can take solace in enjoying how Daredevil, Cage and Jones all played off each other along with each show’s periphery characters in each episode so the season was not a complete waste. Grade: C-

‎American Grit - The first season of American Grit was a guilty pleasure of mine and I am glad it returned along with host John Cena for a second season. It is a Survivor-esque reality show where a bunch of people are divided into four teams in a military themed camp with a former military veteran as their leader and compete in challenges each week that leads to someone going home each week until there is one left to win a million dollars. This season mixes things up a bit by having a 50/50 mix of contestants consisting of athletic builds and everyday Joes/Janes and all have a theme of trying to find their grit. That means a part of each show features a little bit of everyday drama of the competitors having a big personal moment revealing their past personal struggles and why they entered the show. There is also a little bit more of a focus on the team leaders this season too and watching their turmoil bubble over throughout the season resulted in some entertaining animosity. I usually try and avoid most reality TV but naturally I made an exception for this show because it involves the charismatic beast that is John Cena and I got a kick whenever he appeared to shed some wisdom to the entrants or gossip with the military veterans. The challenges are also fun to watch for the most part and consist of a unique boot camp style variant so I was always looking forward to what challenge they cooked up each episode. The ‘finding your Grit’ theme resulted in several emotional moments throughout the show of the cast spilling their guts about their past and for a handful it looked like they legitimately came out of the show changed and finding out something new about themselves. Grade: A-

Ballers - The Rock continues to impress as sports financial manager extraordinaire Spencer Strasmore. I always relate Ballers as a sports-themed version of Entourage for those not familiar with it. The theme of this season is Spencer’s agency trying to expand and make it big by landing a deal to be the owner group in charge of moving an NFL team to Las Vegas. Rock continues to play off well with coworker Joe (Rob Corddry) as the two continue to party way too hard to impress potential clients. I also dig the athletes on this show as they face popular NFL controversies such as dealing with concussions and suspensions over failed drug tests. I will also give a shoutout to the Dolphins scout, Charles (Omar Miller) and Dolphins GM Larry Siefert (Dule Hill) as I have always dug their love/hate dynamic and they continue to steal the show with a few unforgettable scenes including a dinner scene that goes all kinds of wrong just like the average WWE wedding. There are a couple clunker episodes, but for the most part this was another must-see season. Grade: A- Leftovers - I have no idea where to begin on this show that deals with living in the aftermath of the Rapture. The first season had a little bit of a standard plot structure, but last season and for this final third season, The Leftovers went off the rails in all kinds of unpredictable ways where I stopped trying to guess what happened and went along for the ride. The primary plot point for this episode is the cast worrying about a second, far greater Rapture occurring and the cast going to insurmountable lengths to prevent it. Some of those lengths feature crafting a new version of the Bible, the wildest boat ride in TV history and finally getting the payoff to what happened to the 2% of the population that vanished in the original Rapture.

It is hard to recommend this show as I stopped questioning what they were doing early on in the second season and am just accepting whatever they throw in my face, except for almost anything relating to the Guilty Remnant cult. It appears the writers heard our dissatisfied pleas and the Guilty Remnant are laughably written off early in the season with a throwaway line of dialogue and have a minimal presence this season. I take that back, I do like Guilty Remnant member, Liv Tyler getting her overdue comeuppance this season in a glorious manner. The series finale delivered like few other series finales before it and I will never forget conversing with a friend for nearly a half hour breaking down the entire season in a way I do with no other TV shows. Grade: A+ Game of Thrones - After many brief teases and minor skirmishes this is finally the season of Game of Thrones that goes all in on white walkers/zombies. It is impossible for me to give this show a fair breakdown in just a paragraph or two because it has such a huge cast and I am awful at remembering almost of all their names. I will say I liked the setup to capture a living white walker and bring it to Castle Black. Those two episodes really stood out the most where Jon Snow and his motley crew put their lives on the lines into the icy wastes to capture a white walker. The confrontation with the walkers surrounding Jon Snow on that island lead to him and his men laying it all on the line in a EPIC showdown that had me buying into their fates until an unexpected ex-machina transpires and had me popping huge at the TV.

I loved how Game of Thrones built up the big negotiation session between Snow and the Lannisters as a dramatic TV event for the ages and that episode delivered in a big way with meaningful payoffs. I do echo what a majority of the online feedback that the pace of travel is amped up far too fast compared to previous seasons. I recall prior seasons where certain characters spent an entire season getting from one location to another, but in this shortened season characters would leave one location, appear on another side of the world later that episode and make it back to their home region by the end of the same episode. I get it, the show is winding down with one more season to go so they need to fast track some of these story arcs, but after setting a precedent for the five prior seasons it is difficult to make that adjustment. There is still so much more I want to touch on including Arya being a badass assassin, dragons, zombie dragons, that grayscale-sickness seeming to be a little too convenient to cure, the awesomeness of Hot Pie and the cowardice of Theon, but I am already pushing 2000 words here and need to wrap this up. Suffice it to say, Game of Thrones continues to amaze, and I am gratified that I am finally caught up and cannot wait for the final season next year. Grade: A Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Angry Videogame Nerd Volumes 7-9 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld Final Season Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television

[millennialannouncetable-blog]

Medium Rare: Monday Night RAW Review 8/21/17

The boys are back in town for night III in Brooklyn and are fresh off the grill for Monday Night RAW. Welcome one and all to Medium Rare: Your weekly RAW review. Let’s talk SummerSlam fallout.

The Beast & The Monster: Braun Strowman Confronted Brock Lesnar

Alright, so Brock retained at SummerSlam. Not the most exciting decision, but definitely one that I’m okay with because of Brock’s contract ending at ‘Mania this year. I also cannot wait for a Strowman/Lesnar one on one matchup. It’s been something people have been clamoring for with good reason. These two behemoths will tear the house down while giving us a memorable program. I’m pumped.

CASStaway: Enzo Amore def. Big Cass in a Brooklyn Street Fight

Although it resulted in an unfortunate injury for Big Cass, this match was the best of all Enzo-Cass storyline matchups. Bu that’s not saying much. This feud totally flopped and told us that maybe the timing was not the best for Enzo and Cass to split up. There were other routes the team could have taken in a busy RAW tag division – possibly having Enzo manage Cass in singles competition. Now that Cass is injured and Enzo is on 205 Live there’s a clear braking point to this story. I only hope that Cass comes back soon and better than ever.

My Fave Gourd is Squash: Nia Jax def. Emma

I get you want to make Nia look strong. I get you want Emma to have TV time. However. this is the worst possible scenario. Emma is one of the more high profile women that RAW has to offer and she looks absolutely awful getting squashed in the same spot where the even smaller Sasha Banks prevailed. At least make the match some sort of competition. Nia could have squashed anyone else and it would’ve been fine. Give Emma an actual chance.

And That’s The Truth: Elias def. R-Truth

The only reason this gets two stars is for Elias’ cover of “What’s Up.” That was hilarious. Other than that, everything screamed “sub-par.” THey’ve done a really good job at making this feud mean nothing. Thanks WWE, I have my pee break segment now.

Too Many Cruiserweights/It Takes A Lot to Make A Stew: Gran Metalik, Rich Swann, Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali def. Drew Gulak, Noam Dar, Tony Nese & Ariya Davari

“Hey Vince, let’s get all the cruiserweights in one segment so we can say they’re on the show.” That’s what this was. I see right through you WWE, yes I do. One star Lavar Ball for that painful display of indifference. Metalik hit a sick 

tho.

Houndz vs. Boyz: Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose def. The Hardy Boyz

Fun match! The lead up felt a bit staged and blah blah whatever, but hey that match was a good time and I like seeing two face teams mix it up now and then. I’m not sure where to go from here for the Hardy Boyz, but Cesaro and Sheamus are firmly set on their rematch with Rollins and Ambrose.

Boss on Top: Alexa Bliss Confronted Sasha Banks

Decent promo work from both and overall good feelings heading into the rematch next week. I imagine that we’ll see this bout again at No Mercy, but if the matches are consistently good as they’ve been, I have no complaints. I hope Sasha gets her first long reign as women’s champion. I feel that will legitimize the title a little more.

Heel Jordan?: Finn Balor def. Jason Jordan

The match was fun to watch, but the point of it escapes me. First of all, is the Bray/Finn feud officially done? Because there was no peep from Bray all of RAW. Also, why did Jason want to fight Finn Balor? Is he turning heel soon? Did he just want a challenge? What do they have to make JJ do for me to care about any of those things? I think if they have the stomach for it, a JJ heel turn would be pretty cool. You’d then have Angle on edge because his son’s being a dick and he has to choose between being a good father or having his own son succeed with shitty tactics. That already sounds better than what they’ve been giving us.

I Dream of Match: John Cena & Roman Reigns def. Samoa Joe & The Miz

Cena is back on RAW now because…? Did RAW really need any more star power while SmackDown begins to blunder? I don’t understand the decision here, but I’m guessing the switch was made pre-shakeup to pit Cena against Roman in a “dream match.” Anywho, the tag match was fine. I like that Joe looks like a monster and that Miz ate the loss. It was a standard tag match just overrun by star power on one side. I think the next logical step is a Cena/Joe feud if they want to delay Cena/Roman until Survivor Series.

OVERALL

This RAW wasn’t too great. Most of the segments fell flat or felt insignificant. I guess that’s the price of having a show the night after one of the biggest PPVs f the year. THe only really exciting thing that happened was Braun challenging Brock at No Mercy. Merp merp let’s see how they develop everything next week.

– Jon Weigell, M.A.T.