#so like this is nothing against her specifically it's just an example. and i've been thinking about it for the past few weeks

[pro-sipper]

Had such a fun conversation with my therapist today. Honestly I'd been wanting to bring up the whole pro/anti debacle with her just to see what she'd say and how it would stack up against what proshippers and antishippers have to say about therapy online. No points for correctly guessing which side she agreed with

I talked about my job for about 3/5ths of the time there, then segued into The Discourse by telling her about how I'd been writing daily during the first two weeks of my new job, but hadn't been as active lately

And I even asked her if she had any other chronically online clients she talked to and she reassured me that she had plenty, and even one who had kind of explained this whole debate to her before (from a proshipper stance, and how she lost a friend over it)

I explained my whole issue with her about how fandom is so deep into purity culture these days. And how reckless and raunchy it was in the 00s and how I don't want to go back to that, but there's got to be some middle ground somewhere.

I told her about some of the stuff I've written and all the weird or nasty comments I've gotten on it and how that can be discouraging. And I told her that most of my works are smut, and of those smut works, all of them have at least a little sprinkling of trauma in them. And she said that can be a good way to look at things. And used a real life example of how something could be awful but there could be good things about it too. Specifically saying that nothing is just black and white, everything has shades of grey. And that digging the little good out of the big bad is a positive thing, actually

And I told her about being a young teen and reading a fic with incest in it and having the sense not to immediately jump to "I want to recreate this in real life" and she was like "Yes, exactly. It's like this one book I read, umm..." and I was like "Flowers In The Attic?" just as a guess and she was like "Yes!" and said just because you read about something doesn't mean you want it to be your reality

And I did my best to explain the whole concept of how some people seem to think that everyone engages with fiction by putting themselves in the shoes of the main character, so if the main character is doing awful things then you must want to do awful things too. Which of course she said was in no way true

And she told me that she was such a big fan of horror movies and loved to watch those as a way to relax and unwind bc it gets her mind off her work, but that doesn't mean she wants to be a killer lol. And I had to be like "Oh no you don't understand. They think killing and torture and cannibalism is totally fine, it's just when you bring sex into the equation that people start freaking out" and she was confused at that lol

And of course she thought it was ridiculous that people can get called a pedo or a groomer or whatever other awful things over fictional stories.

So yeah it was a fun and reassuring conversation. I know I'm leaving some stuff out but I can't remember any more specifics of what was said. Plus I was talking a mile a minute bc I wanted to say everything on my mind before time was up asfdsfs it was a monumental task.

OH and I even brought up how people will literally say "well my therapist said..." just for some other people to accuse them of lying or saying their therapist is corrupt or some other bullshit which she was understandably aghast at. Because she is a licensed therapist who went to Therapy School and knows better, and is not a magical villain promoting propaganda fed to her by Big Proship to corrupt her clients. You know how it is <3

[starrysilvalley]

Time for the secondary protagonist of this tale, Emmet! He may have a familiar face— if only he had the same understanding of himself. He occupies more of a Virgil/mentor archetype, and within the Pokémon games universe he would be the closest to a Professor role.

To emphasize again, this project takes place in distant future of the Pokémon in-game universe. The plotlines of previous games are all considered canon up until Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. Anything past that is considered non-canon within the context of Spectrum. Emmet’s place in particular was based on the context of PLA and my own interpretations/theories on the subject of the twins when playing it (mostly answering questions like “where is Emmet”, “is he in present-day Unova or another time/place entirely”, “what happened to cause the separation”, etc.)

✨⭐️✨

Emmet is an amnesiac and fugitive against the New Unova League, as well as a surrogate father to Una. Despite being a verrry blunt and open book, Emmet remains a bit of a mystery. His earliest memory is waking up in the custody of the Pokémon League with nothing but his ratty coat and hat that just so happened to have his name stitched inside. Interregators told him he was found with illegal possessions (what type of possessions, he still doesn't know) and had been conspiring to eliminate the Champion. It was only through an intervention that he was able to escape with a mysterious little girl in tow. To this day, he still has no idea where he came from before his captivity or if he has any roots somewhere in New Unova. Although there will always remain the desire to know his true self, under the current circumstances, Emmet is focused more on his found family in Una and his business partner Fajra.

Due to his experiences, Emmet has a tendency to be more reserved… at least, sometimes. He is more mischievous than he first appears and typically uses this to his advantage when faced with more sketchy characters. He is very observant, but learned that his commentary can get him into trouble. It also may just be that he has become more restrained with his trickster side in order to show a good example to the young rascal in his charge. If he wants her to follow his safety guidelines, he should probably learn to follow them himself, right?

Emmet currently only has one Pokémon— a Neo Variant Liepard. If he had any other Pokémon prior to his amnesia, he has no way of knowing where they are or what they were. He acquired Liepard during his incarceration, but he’s never spoken on the specifics of how he acquired her. Regardless, their experiences together led to a strong comradery between them. Liepard is almost always out of her pokéball and flanking his side. For whatever reason, Emmet never pursued acquiring more Pokémon and seems to avoid Pokémon battles altogether. He’s never made it clear why this is the case. However, on the rare occasion where he and Liepard do battle, they are notoriously ruthless and almost perfectly in-sync. At the very least, he has shown to have a strong knowledge of battling, even if he doesn't seek it out.

I currently do not have as many sketches of Emmet as I do Una since I'm building Una from the ground u, and I struggle to find a design/style I like for him. This sketch of the pair and their Pokémon is one of my favorites.

My one other drawing I liked was an even chibi-er version of him (I don't usually draw in chibi style, but its proven to be the easiest to use), including some character notes from the time.

I've gone back and forth on a LOT of his character since I wanted to have his character explore a twist in the themes originally given to him by the creators. I know there are theories that Emmet is meant to embody truth while his brother embodies ideals, so its been an interesting challenge to work with this character in the dystopian context where truth is oppressed and often requires characters to abandon honesty. Its also difficult because Emmet is known for his optimism and I don't want to take that from him, even in a dystopian context. I believe his upbeat/mischievous nature helps him stand out from his brother, and quite frankly, I think even dystopian worlds could use some hope. I'm just more use to writing Ingo characters rather than Emmets. I'm hoping I can do this little guy justice :’)

[outsideratheart]

Too Much Teasing (Mapi Leon x reader)

A/N: You guys voted for the Mapi fic so here it is. I hope you like it!

Based off this request.

Life worked in mysterious ways and the past couple of years proved that. In a shock transfer you left Arsenal, your childhood club and the team that brought you up through the academy, for Barcelona.

The Spanish game came very easy to you but life off the pitch was more of a challenge. You are naturally a guarded person but there was one girl that managed to knock down your walls within the first few weeks. You and Mapi bonded over your shared love of tattoos, art and late night walks around the city.

You would see each other everyday which made being back in England for the Euros that much harder. Due the Barcelona's schedule you left for camp the morning after the Copa De La Reina final and you wouldn't be returning to Spain till August, should the tournament end with the Lionesses lifting the trophy.

But the thing about playing in Spain is that it sometimes felt like you lived two lives. For example, your England team mates had no clue you were dating the Zaragoza native. You were planning on telling them during the Arnold Cup but it was your first tournament as Captain and Mapi wanted you to focus. You were keeping the most important thing in your life from some of the most important people in your life.

You missed your girlfriend dearly and whilst you wanted nothing more than to drive to Marlow to see Mapi on your days off you know you couldn't so you settled for phone calls, more specifically late night phone calls. You walk aimlessly around the Teddington compound talking to Mapi about everything and anything. The sound of your girlfriend's voice had the power to distract you from the pressure that came with being the home favourites.

"Te quiero mucho baby"

You end the phone call and try your best to enter your room quietly as not to wake up your room mates.

"I take it i'll meet your secret girlfriend when I come to Barcelona?"

Lucy's voice makes you jump in your spot. Like every other night, you expected her to be asleep. You decide to ignore her question, choosing instead to get ready for bed but the defender continues her questioning whilst you’re in the bathroom.

"Will I meet her over dinner or at a team meeting?"

"Team meeting. Now no more questions" you warn her but she doesn't care.

"Am I going to be playing against her on Thursday?"

You freeze. Yes you were aware that England would be playing Spain in the quarter finals but what didn't register is that you are going to be playing against, and possibly beating, some of your closest friends.

"No way! You're dating Alexia!"

"What? No"

"It's just that you didn't answer"

"Because i've just realised that the next game we play will destroy mine and your team mates dreams of winning the euros"

"I thought you knew that. Isn't that the reason why you have been sad when you don't think people are watching?"

"I miss her a lot. This is longest we have been apart in a while and i'm finding it hard not being around her" You felt lighter having said out loud what you have been feeling for the last week.

You really wished that you could see Mapi before you play each other in Brighton. The fact that you wouldn't led to you being in a sour mood the next morning and it seemed to give the some of the players the perfect opportunity to make your mood worse.

"Hello grumpy, did somebody not get enough sleep?" Meado pokes your cheek as she sits down next to you.

"What can I say, Lucy snores like a pig" you know it wasn't your best work but hopefully it would change the direction of the teasing.

"No I don't!" Lucy argues "your grumpiness has nothing to do with me, it's because you miss your girlfriend"

"LUCY!" you glare at her from across the table.

"What?" the defender is no where near awake enough to realise what she has just said.

"Y/N has a girlfriend" Ella sings

"Who?"

"Is she english?"

"No she'll be Spanish"

"Is she hot?”

"Of course she is, look at Y/N" Alessia casually says.

"Lessi, you think i'm hot?" you ask the blonde knowing that she will get embarrassed.

"What, no" her response earns a scoff from you "no, I didn't mean that. I mean that you are, well you're you, we all see the way the fans obsess over you and some even flirt with you even though you don't back which I think is strange"

"It's because she has a girlfriend" Georgia turns the attention back to you.

This time instead of them asking questions they start guessing who it could be. They name the entire Spanish national team as well as the more known players in the league. Hempo is the one that guesses correctly but no way are you letting her know that.

In the end you walk away from the table, not that any of them have realised. Their attention was now on the non Spanish players playing in Spain. You make yourself another cup of coffee hoping that it will do one of two things, wake you up and ease the interrogation that you will be returning to.

"Y/N"

"What!" you snap.

When you turn around you are met with Ellen who has your phone.

"Your phone kept going off" The older forward passes you your phone. When you glance at your screen you see the name and a photo of the two of you which was taken over the Christmas period in Zaragoza.

"Mapito?" Ellen question.

"I called her it once, she changed the name of the contact" you explain.

The look on Ellen's face isn't one you recognise. It's similar to when she is happy about something but this expression has a hint of something else.

"I'm proud of you Y/N. I used the think you would never allow yourself to have a life off the pitch"

It wasn't what you were expecting her to say but you feel a warmth grow inside of you. She was right, for a long time you was solely focused on your career and everything else came second to that. Now you have someone who you will happily spend the day with and not give football a second thought whilst you are with her.

"Oh and one more thing" Ellen says "You don't have to worry about me telling them but please make sure you don't let it cloud your judgement during the game"

"Thank you Ells and you don't have to worry about that, I won't let them go back to Spain with bragging rights"

You try and think of the best place to call Mapi back, as you wander the ground you choose the garden at the front of the hotel. Butterflies flooded your tummy as you wait for her to pick up.

Mapi picks up but before she acknowledges that you have called her, you hear her shouting at Leila, then the other defender's voice comes through the phone.

"Y/N, you need to sort your girlfriend out. She is a sexually frustrated mess and only you can give her the pleasure she needs" Leila blatantly tells you.

"Yeah Y/N" your hear Pina's voice "Mapi is so in love with you that she seems to hate all of us when you're not here"

You found a tiny bit of comfort knowing that your girlfriend was subject to the same teasing you were getting.

"That's not true. She just loves me more now please give her the phone back"

You hear the sound of the line change and you know that one of them has put the phone on speaker.

"She's counting down the days until she can kiss away your sorrows when we beat you" Patri joins in.

"I admire your confidence or maybe it's your stupidity. Besides from what Mapi has told me, Jorge has been working you to the bone so it will be my pleasure to send you home so that you can all have some time off before pre season"

"I hate it when you do that"

Now you heard the voice of the woman you originally wanted to talk to.

"What's that maps?" you ask her.

"You say something mean but you do it in the nicest way possible"

"It's one of my many skills"

"I prefer your other skills"

"Mapi! There are kids around" you say referring to her younger team mates, who you happen to be close with as well.

"I'm alone now and I really wish I wasn't" you could hear the frustration in her voice.

"Maria Leon, do you always have sex on your mind?" you tease her.

"Sex, no. Sex with you, yes. Can you honestly say you don't miss me or that you don't crave my touch?"

"No, I can't. I miss you and everything that comes with you"

"We are not leaving our apartment for a week when we get home" Mapi's promise was something you looked forward to but it was also unrealistic.

"I wish that was true"

"Me too"

The line goes quiet and for a second you think she has hung up but then you hear her breathing and it worries you.

"We'll be ok after the game won't we? I know one of us will lose but it won't affect me and you will it?"

"You mean our relationship?"

Mapi hums in response.

"Of course not. I love playing football but nothing in this world means more to me than you. Is that what's got you so stressed out?" part of you knew something bigger was going on with your girlfriend. To most of the world she has this tough exterior but it couldn't have been further from the truth.

"The girls keep saying that if we beat you then you will break up with me"

"Which girls?" you asked the question even though you had your suspicions.

"Leila and —“

"I'll speak to her" you hated that the girls were teasing Mapi despite knowing how sensitive she can be "As for me breaking up with you, well the chances of that happening are lower than you beating us and that is very low"

"You know that playing against me will be harder than playing against any other team"

The cockiness in her tone was back and although you knew you could beat her, doing so would be very difficult.

"Oh yeah, why is that?"

"Because I know how you think and how you play. I know your mind and your body"

You hated thinking about the power Mapi had over. She was right when she said you knew your mind and body, at this point it practically belonged to her. Your mind was at it's calmest when she was around and your body yearned for her whenever you were away.

A short distance away you see Ella and Alessia hiding, no doubtedly eavesdropping on your call and whilst most people would end the conversation you are about to have or at least steer it in a different direction, you saw the chance to teach the young forwards a lesson.

"You do? What is my body thinking right now?"

Their eyes widen at your words but they don't move. It's as if the stare you give is causing them to be frozen in place.

You try to keep the rest of the conversation as vague as possible but Mapi makes it very difficult because for every reply you give she responds with a suggestion that makes you want to drive all the way to Marlow.

In the end Mapi gets called away which ends the call a lot sooner than you wanted but you know you are in for quite the teasing, that's if Ella and Alessia have the guts to share details of your call with the rest of the team.

"My little devils, what am I going to do with you?" you put an arm around each of their shoulders.

The three of you walk back through the hotel in silence. It is clear the younger girls don't feel comfortable discussing what they heard on the phone. That is until you reach the breakfast room where some of the players are still lounging about.

"Y/N was having phone sex with her girlfriend" Tooney shouts.

"Ella!" Me and Alessia say in unison.

It wasn't that you didn't expect her to say anything, it’s more so the fact that she announced it to the whole room as soon as she entered.

"And you did it in front of the kids?" Jill jokes.

Jill then proceeds to console a scared Ella but you couldn't care less.

"The kids happened to be eavesdropping and I was enjoying my phone call way to much to stop on their behalf"

Some of the younger players fake gagged at the thought but the older players knew you wouldn't have said anything that bad given that you had kept your relationship a secret, so your sex life wouldn't be any different.

"Give me three clues" Leah asks when you take at a seat at her table, which also sat Lucy, Keira, Georgia, Millie and Rachel.

You expected better from your co captain but you knew the clues you would give and your friends would hate them.

"Fine" you reply much to the table's surprise "3 clues. She's from Spain, she speaks Spanish and she plays for Barcelona"

The first two are obvious but the third clue let’s them narrow down their list of names.

"Did you really have phone sex knowing they could hear you?" Millie asks.

"God no. Do you really think I'm going to have that kind of conversation in public where everyone can hear me and where I can do nothing to satisfy the urges that come with it?"

"Y/N!"

"Just saying"

When the team arrive at the stadium a few days later, they watch you and wait to see if you will give away the identity of your Spanish girlfriend. You on the other hand start to get nervous about what this game means and what it will take in order to reach the semi finals. You would have to outplay the people who you, for the most part, train with every day.

You wanted nothing more than to skip right through the pitch inspection. Since finding out you were dating a Barcelona player, the team have been teasing you relentlessly and you didn't have the energy to go toe to toe with them today. When you walk out onto the pitch you see that the Spain team are already there and when you see a certain defender you remember that you need to talk to her. The team watch as you and the Spanish national walk away and you can hear them shouting things but given the eyes around them the don't say that much.

"Y/N" Leila wraps her arms around you "I've missed you chica"

The conversation you had with Mapi kept replaying in your head. The seeds of doubt that her friends had planted began growing and you couldn’t doing anything to stop them, not right now anyways.

"Leila"

"Am I in trouble?" you nod your head "Why?"

"Do you know why Mapi is worried i'll break up with her?" from where you stand you can see your girlfriend bent down at the centre circle doing her own inspection, something that is part of her pre match routine.

"It was a joke which now that I see your face I realise isn't funny"

"She is one of your best friends, you know how sensitive she is. Just think before you say things that will stick in her head. Now we're going to see her so that you can apologise"

"You just want me to come with you so that your team doesn't get suspicious"

There’s no need for you to respond, she is right and she knows it.

"Hi"

Mapi's head snaps up at the sound of your voice.

"Hola bonita" she stands up and gives you a hug, one that doesn't last no where near as long as she wanted.

No words are exchanged, both of you break out in a smile, just being within touching distance is enough for now.

"Is this my punishment? Being made to stand here whilst you eye fuck each other?" Leila groans. She is used to be the third wheel in Barcelona having joined you and Mapi on date night more than a few times but the tension between the two of you makes her feel a little uncomfortable.

"Punishment?" Mapi looks to see you with a smug grin plastered across your face.

"Right, yes. Leila is there something you would like to say?"

"I'm sorry for saying Y/N would break up with you when we destroy the lionesses"

"Destroy?" you laugh slightly at the defender's optimism.

"You know I love your confident side but Leila's right, we will go back to Spain victorious"

"I know don't what's worse, the fact you think you're going to win or that you just said Leila's right"

Leila asks if you'll walk back with her stating that she had something she wanted to talk to you about. The conversation ended with you walking back into the tunnel with your arms wrapped around her shoulder whilst your hand rested on her waist.

Your team mates takes you spending most of the time with the brunette as confirmation, they are determined that you are dating Leila Ouahabi. In the locker room you got question after question about how your relationship starting and it didn't both you in the slightest, how could it, they had the wrong person. Once you re entered the locker room after warm up the teasing stopped and the game faces appeared.

The match ended with England going through to the semi final but you couldn't bring yourself to celebrate. This would go down as the worst win in your career but being the captain came with duties that you couldn't get out of. You thanked the fans and did your interview but neither of those could keep your focus because no matter where you were on the pitch you could see your friends in red consoling each other.

"Aren't you going to console your girlfriend?" Lucy asks.

"You know what, yes I am" you had watched from a distance for long enough.

Lucy who had been joined by Keira watches are you walk towards the group of Barcelona players. Like Lucy expected you went to Leila first but for you it was because she was the closest person to you, funnily enough Mapi is the last person. You had seen her wear a brave face for the sake of her team mates but it is only when she is in your arms does she drop the facade.

"I'm sorry" you subtly kiss her neck.

The embrace between you is different than the one you shared with your other team mates. When you lift you head up you see Lucy watching with shocked expression. When you unclasp your hands that are settled on the small of Mapi's back, you send Lucy the middle finger. The action let's her know that she was wrong and in doing so you tell her who you're dating.

"What's that about?" Keira asks.

"You'll find out when you join me in Barcelona"

"Shhh" Keira shoves her girlfriend "I told you it was a secret"

You stay out on the pitch as long as the Spain team does. You have no intention of celebrating the win and you hoped the fans and your team would understand this. When the stadium starts to empty, the players leave the pitch.

"Do you they know about us?" Mapi asks as she walks in sync beside you.

"Ellen does but the rest think I'm dating Leila"

This causes Mapi to stop in her tracks. Her eyes go wide in shock and she finds herself getting angry. She didn't like the act the world didn't know you were hers but your team mates thinking that you were with Leila, that she really didn't like.

"I'm not ok with that"

At this point you are practically in the tunnel so you grab her hand and pull her into one of the treatment rooms. You were grateful for the privacy it gave you and under any other circumstance you would be up for having a little bit of fun but you can tell by Mapi's face that she is very serious about this.

If her face didn't give it away, her choosing to pace the small room instead of sitting with you on the physio bench with you did.

"You're my girlfriend, not Leila's, and I don't want your team thinking you are dating my best friend"

To see Mapi care this much about people, who to her are strangers, is a rarity. You didn't care much for other people's opinions so whether the team knew or not, didn't matter. This was something you thought Mapi agreed with you on but her reaction tells you otherwise.

"Mapi" you voice is soft as you try to get her attention.

"I know that it's me who chose not the tell them at the beginning of the year but that was a mistake. They should know that you are mine and not hers"

Now she is getting territorial, a side which rarely ended well in the past. Mapi didn't like to share but this isn't sharing, your team don't even think of Mapi when they think of your relationship which makes it worse.

"Maria" you hope using her birth name will make her stop but it doesn't.

"Y/N I love you and I don't want them thinking you love Leila. You love me"

"Yes, I do"

Fatigue was beginning to set in. After playing 120 minutes of football your legs were getting heavy and given that Mapi had the job of keeping up with you for the game, you knew she would be feeling the same yet she continues to pace back and worth as she worked through her frustrations.

"Do they think Leila makes you happy? That she can love you the way I do? Make you feel the way I do? That—"

"Maria Pilar Leon Cebrian"

"Yes" she stops pacing when she is in line with you.

Using your index finger you signal her to come close to you. Her face changes and you know it's because she has finally noticed you are in a room together, alone. When she is close enough you take a fistful of her shirt to close the remaining distance between the two of you. Mapi’s hand cups the back of your neck as your lips crash into each other. The time you spend away from each other never get’s easier and it makes the reunions that much more intense. Nothing else matters in that moment other than to rid Mapi of the insecurities she is clearly feeling. When you pull away it is only for a second to catch your breath and then you are leaning back in, hungry for more and by the way Mapi mouth moves in sync with yours she obviously misses the connection you shared just as much as you did.

You are so caught up in the moment that you don’t hear the door open, nor you do you hear the voices that belonged to your team mates. At first they say nothing, they simply stand there and watch the two of you. They didn’t know what to do, they didn’t want to move in case they made a noise and it was clear that the two of you didn’t plan on stopping any time soon.

It is only when you start to lift Mapi’s t-shirt do they make themselves known.

“Sorry to interrupt but this is the treatment room and some of the others are on their way here” Chloe gives you a heads up.

What they didn’t see is that you already have your shirt off and Mapi being mapi, she didn’t bother putting hers on fully, instead it stays hung around her neck.

Just then another door open, one that you didn’t even notice was there and given the commotion that you can hear on the other side let’s you know it connects to the lionesses locker room. Your suspicions are proven true when you see Ella and Georgia, their eyes widen at the sight in front of them, you half dressed and Mapi not that much better

“Hempo!” Georgia shouts “You were right. Y/N’s secret girlfriend is Mapi Leon” 

Mapi still stands in between your legs and shows no sign of moving. You rest your head against her chest hoping that if the two of you stay still and quiet then the team will leave you alone but that doesn’t happen.

“How do you know?” Beth comes into the small treatment room followed by a couple more of your team mates.

You thought the teasing was bad before but now they know the identity of your girlfriend they have a lot more material to use against you. Something that is surprising is that a few of them tease Mapi even though they haven’t really met her other than on the pitch.

You tap Mapi’s sides indicating her to move away so you can stand up and put your shirt back on and help her with hers. You quickly peck her on the lips before taking her hand and dragging her into the Lionesses locker room. If you introduced her properly then maybe the night back at the hotel won’t be complete torture.

“Mapi meet the lionesses, girls meet Mapi my girlfriend”

You can see the grin that spreads across Mapi’s face upon hearing you officially introduce her as your partner. She had been waiting for this for months and you had too.

“Wait” Rachael interrupts the questions that the girls have “I thought you were dating Leila Ouahabi, their number 15”

“No, she is not’ Mapi corrects her rather abruptly “She is my girlfriend” 

You had just managed to settle down her territorial side and now, without knowing, Rachael had woken it back up.

“But Y/N spent all her time pre match with her, not you” Millie joined in and by the smirk of her face you know that she, for some reason, felt confident enough to tease the spaniard.

Mapi is ready to fight for you even though it is unnecessary and you really didn’t want her going back into her changing in a foul mood given that most her team will be feeling rough because of the final score.

“You sure you want to tease her millie?” You know Mapi wouldn’t hurt a fly but there is a reason why she got ‘looks can be deceiving’ on her neck.

Mapi picks up on the game you are playing and she changes her face. Safe to say Millie steps back without saying another word.

You lead Mapi out of the changing room but one of your team mates can’t help themselves. They had to tease your girlfriend on last time.

“Sorry we beat you and sent you back to Spain” Alessia says confidently.

Mapi knew she was one of the players you had taken under your wing but she can’t let the young forward get away with it.

“It’s ok. We’ll beat you in the champions league. Oh, wait, no we won’t. You didn’t qualify” 

At the mention of United Ella stands up ready to defend her club and after the game you had just played you really didn’t have the energy to play mediator between your girlfriend and the devils.

You push Mapi out the door but pull her back for one more kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast before you go back to Barcelona” 

Mapi deepens the kiss and you don’t have the will power you push her away, not at first anyways. It is only when you hear a mixture of wolf whistles and fake gagging do you end the kiss. 

“I’ll see you in the morning. Te quiero Y/N”

“Yo también te quiero” 

Upon re-entering your locker room you see all eyes on you. Let the teasing begin, again.

[charmwasjess]

Stupid sexy the Acolyte why I am still watching you

Ugh, because it unfortunately rules, that's why. I don't know. On one hand, I still have all of my concerns about the portrayal of the Jedi Order and my absolute exhaustion with the plotline of "oooh, but wHaT iF the Jedi bAd?!" while offhandedly massacring interesting cool Jedi who are voluntarily and honorably living out their convictions as empty plot fodder. I am so tired. But I also keep genuinely finding things to like about the show.

I really like the big chunky boxy lightsaber designs. They remind me of my first car: one of those perfectly square Volvo station wagons. I think the prequel Jedi lightsaber designs tend to be a little industrial/ utilitarian, whereas Dooku's generation (in the few example we have, I'm thinking of his, Sifo-Dyas's, and Jocasta's, because those are the ones I've looked at too many times) can be a little fussy and overdesigned. It's cool to see how generations of Jedi riff on popular designs for their era.

The size makes for a big impact when characters do things such as hold the emitter against the head of another character, or as in last night, bring it up to someone's throat, because damn, that thing is a clunker. It looks so dangerous.

Master Sol. Master Sol. Master Sol. I'm not sure I have ever seen a live action role where the actor has more uniquely and specifically captured what I love about the Jedi in one character.

The scene where he goes down to reset the transmitter and has his little micro-breakdown after the "team is dead" bit. What an powerful moment. The amount of acting he did with absolutely no dialogue, no one else in the scene to bounce off of, just a quiet moment of grief, rage, and loss. I've read both criticism and rebuttals of Jedi acting - oh, they're wooden, no, they're accurately playing a person with a lifetime worth of trained emotional control - and this was such an incredible example of portraying a person with a lifetime of emotional control training realistically experiencing an excruciating, heartbreaking loss. You see him lose control, open himself up to the Force/self soothe, and regain it. All just with a sequence of facial expressions. Honestly, if I get absolutely nothing else out of the show and hate where they go with this, it will have been worth watching for that alone. It's that important to me.

And just - Sol. :') When he gives Not-Osha a big HUG? I'm such a sucker for Jedi onscreen hugs. Man, his inevitable death is gonna blow.

Aww, and speaking of death, confirmation that the Osha and Jecki vibes were really there. Just kill me. And I kind of love how Qimir phrases it, this idea that the Jedi she loves will never love her back the way that she wants them to, but also the twisty subtext there. Maybe this is me giving the show too much credit, but I got a lot of Sith-version of love "to love is to possess a person" vibes in the way he talked about that?

BUt ohhhhh nooooo ewww stupid sexy Qimir trying to s-seduce (?) Osha by being all sexy and funny and likeable and weirdly kind and not like a classic Sith. Pffffh. Yeah, he's going after the other twin now. Completely and totally expected. Oh, good. And now he's taking off his stupid shirt and his beautiful body is there in this dumb stupid scene. He loves to show off his awful muscles and handsome dumb face, as if anybody is interested in that. Presumably his dark side dong is out. Who would care about that? Not me, a scholar.

Whatever, who even cares about this show. CLEARLY I DO NOT

[matan4il]

Thank you for your daily updates.

I've been seeing people discussing why/not the ICJ case is valid, but nothing on how the judges are likely to rule, a discussion that happens often when there is a big SCOTUS case.

What of their temperaments? Sure there's a Lebanese judge, that doesn't inherently make him antisemitic. Do you know if the judges are more "left" or "right?" My hopes are not high, considering they refuse to see evidence of the actual Oct 7 massacres (shame, since Hamas really wanted that broadcasted).

Hi Nonnie,

I usually try to reply to asks at the same order I got them, but I'll make an exception, because of how relevant this is to the current proceedings at the ICJ right now.

I don't think that being Muslim makes anyone inherently biased, nor do I think being Jewish means a person is free of the antisemitism of their environment, so I generally believe it's impossible for judges to be completely disconnected from what their country's position is. I believe the ICJ recognizes this as well, and that's why, a country that is suing or sued at the ICJ without having a representation among the permanent judges, has the right to appoint one. Specifically when it comes to Lebanon, I have to admit that IDK how possible it is for the Lebanese judge to ignore the fact that his country has for decades implemented an actual apartheid, a legally imposed policy of discrimination against Palestinians who live there.

Well, for this trial, we have an Israeli judge, a SA judge, and the 15 permanent judges. Here's one analysis about the 15 that I read:

American judge: had worked as a legal advisor to the administrations of Clinton and Obama, believes the scope of international law is limited (so she's less likely to grant SA a provisional measure that's a legal precedent).

Russian judge: advises Russia on two legal matters (regarding Georgia, and Kosovo), believes the scope of international law should be wider, has voted against demanding of Russia to stop the military operation in Ukraine, and has published independently his opinion that the ICJ has no right to judge the Russia-Ukraine conflict, because Russia didn't recognize its authority on this. Has visited Israel in 2015 for an international space conference, and together with 2 other ICJ judges, has conducted a "trial" regarding space law.

Slovak judge: sees the scope of international law as narrower, in the past he indicated that he thinks the crime of committing a genocide can't be decided in this court (that it should be in a criminal one), he has also said that quotes uttered in "the heat of battle" (the kind at the basis of SA's lawsuit) are not indicative of policy intent, they're just war propaganda. Has visited Israel in 2015 for an international space conference, and together with 2 other ICJ judges, has conducted a "trial" regarding space law.

French judge: Jewish, considered critical of Israel. In the past, while arguing against Israel, he has also said that the conflict here is political by nature and that the involvement of the ICJ in it is unhelpful to dialogue between the parties.

Moroccan judge: in the past, his decisions included non-legal considerations (for example, he said he's not sure Ukraine's move against Russia fits the convention on the prevention of genocide, but he still was in favor of granting Ukraine the provisional measures it was asking for). He was also a minority vote in the matter of whether the Serbs committed a genocide against the Bosnian Muslims, where the majority determined that the conditions to define it as such were not met.

Somali judge: there are no past indications of how he might rule from an international law perspective. He's Muslim, but in the past he has joined an Iftar dinner at the home of the Israeli ambassador at the Hague, and has also once opened a Holocaust Day lecture for the ICJ.

Chinese judge: has worked for her government in the past. She has voted against the provisional measures Ukraine has asked for against Russia, saying that it seems like an attempt to use the convention in order to get the ICJ to decide in broader political matters than the convention allows for. She has also argued against provisional measures that only demand one side would stop the fighting.

Ugandan judge: has worked for her government in the past. There are no past indications of how she might rule from an international law perspective.

Indian judge: tends towards an expanded view of what is discrimination. Has visited Israel in 2015 for an international space conference, and together with 2 other ICJ judges, has conducted a "trial" regarding space law.

Jamaican judge: has worked for his government in the past. Has voted against Russia when it came to the provisional measures demanding it stops its fighting against Ukraine.

Lebanese judge: has expressed anti-Israel views in the past, and has also repeatedly shown that he takes his country's position into account in his decisions. Has argued in the past that in situations of military occupation, the burden of proof is very low, or that the burden of proof should be on the occupier.

German judge: in the past, he has published his opposition to an Israeli law professor's article, arguing that a wider view is required when it comes to the right to self defense.

Japanese judge: in the past, he has published an article that sees the right of third party countries to appear before the ICJ (as is SA in this case) as limited.

Australian judge: very active in the field of women and gender rights. In the past, she has criticized ICJ rulings that allowed the coalition forces a lot of freedom in Iraq.

Brazilian judge: in the past, he has referred to the PLO as a terrorist organization (at the time about which he was writing), but he did the same regarding the Jewish underground movement, the Hagana (which worked to protect Jews, and to smuggle them "illegally" into the Land of Israel to save them from the Nazis during WWII).

According to one legal correspondent that I listened to, SA has asked for so many provisional measures, that the ICJ is unlikely to turn them all down. This reporter believes that the ICJ will likely not grant the provisional measure calling on Israel to stop the fighting, but it will probably grant at least two other provisional measures. She had a bet which two, the provisional measure calling on more humanitarian aid to be brought into Gaza (if true, this would be so redundant. One of the points made at the ICJ proceedings, was that Israel has agreed to allow in as much humanitarian aid as could be taken in on the Gazan side, and was willing to expand its operations on the Israeli side for this to happen. In other words, what's currently limiting the amount of aid going in is the capacity to handle it on the Gazan, not Israeli, side), and to collect evidence regarding the fighting in Gaza (which Israel is already doing).

I hope this helped! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[thehollowprince]

We're a few days away from the premiere of The Acolyte, and this showed up on my Google Recommendations. Against my better judgment, because it's Screenrant, I opened it anyway, and I'm a little torn.

Like, on the one hand, I've never viewed the Jedi as gods, literal or otherwise, but I fully admit there has been a kind of deification of characters like Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn, and more recently with newer characters like Rey and Ahsoka. Even Anakin, though, to a lesser extent. There have been quite a number of people who have looked at these characters and said

"This is what a Jedi is supposed to be and nothing else."

Of course, it's been that exact sentiment that has led to a lot of negativity toward other Jedi, namely Mace Windu, but also Yoda and Luminara and Ki-Adi-Mundi.

But since there are no legacy characters in this show (with the possible exception of a Yoda cameo), I'm hoping this show will look at the Jedi as what they are, warrior monks doing the best they can to keep the peace in an ever more chaotic galaxy.

Charlie Barnett (Yord Fandar) said this

I want to talk specifically about the first half of this quote.

"It's like that moment when you realize that your parents aren't gods, do you know what I'm saying? That kind of mysticism plays out., and I think Yord is stuck in and committed to being in the 'Jedi are gods' sentiment. He is a Jedi Knight, and he's fairly new to the position too, so he is very excited to do it right...

I am all for exploring the "flaws" of the Jedi (such as they are) by showing a character that grew up with this expectation of what a Jedi was supposed to be (basically the galaxy's version of superheroes) only to find out that it's not all like it was in the holos.

The only downside I have with this is the fact that Yord would have grown up in the Temple and realized that the Jedi aren't these superbeings. Sure, he could have idolized his teachers and masters, but not to the extent that he'd be blind to the realities of the position.

And then we have this.

I remember reading the interview with Dafne Keen in Empire where she talks about her character (Jecki Lon) and how, even though she's just a Padawan, she's a better Jedi than Yord.

That rubs me the wrong way. Not every Jedi is obviously equal in all talents. Anakin, for example, was one of the best lightsaber duelests of the Order, even when he was just a padawan, but he lacked focus and control, something Obi-Wan had in spades. Same with Ahsoka later, with her being an exceptionally talented padawan but letting her anger get the better of her sometimes, as well as her pride. Yoda was the wisest member of the Order, but Mace was the Order's best duelist.

You get what I'm saying?

Even Obi-Wan had an answer pointed out to him by a youngling in Attack of the Clones. They all have their strengths and weaknesses, and they compensate by working as a whole.

So, while I don't have a problem with Jecki being a better duelist or being stronger in the Force than Yord, it's irritating when it's labeled as her just being a better Jedi. Another thing I remember specifically from her interview was her saying that the only reason Yord became a Jedi Knight was because he was older, and I didn't like that, because that's not how the Order works!

Who knows, maybe I'm reading to much into this, because I've been pretty vocal about how most of what's been said about this show behind-the-scenes has been pretty anti Jedi and this just feels like a continuation of that train of thought. I have no problem with Yord being proud or angry or even falling to the Dark Side and becoming this acolyte. I'm just nervous about how they're framing it all.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I've thinking about this question… and I want to know your perspective:

At first I though British tabloids were kind of invasive and intrusive, I know Diana died in Paris, but somehow I attached it to the British media…

since this year, i´m not sure after what happened with Frederick and that woman, and how some media behave with Catherine (except for TMZ)... I´m not sure which media (Country) is more intrusive.

Given on your experience, which media/tabloide is worse that others?

You can't actually compare the media and tabloid culture that way. Or at least, I'm not comfortable comparing the cultures in that way because it leads to a really flawed analysis.

First, the tabloid culture of the '90s (which affected Diana) was incredibly different from the tabloid culture of the '00s (Kate) and incredibly different from the tabloid culture of today ('20s).

Second, the cultures between the different countries and their media enterprises is also incredibly different. What American media does isn't what British media does, which isn't what Spanish media does, which isn't what Italian or German or French media does.

In both respects, there's no established baseline standard of practice. And you need a baseline in order to set the scale to define what you mean by "worse." Because all of the examples anon cited are from very different times and from different countries, you can't really compare them to each other. So you really can't compare what Frederick went through media-wise with his affair in 2023 in Spain to what Diana went through in 1997 in France to what Kate went through in 2008 in England to what Meghan went through in 2016 in Canada. (And then you have to account for bias and familiarity; most of us only know the tabloid and media culture in the countries that we grew up in or that we're knowledgeable of. For instance, i know a lot about American tabloid culture because I'm an American and because I came of age on Perez Hilton's internet and I know quite a bit about British tabloid culture because of how long I've been a royal watcher. But I know next to nothing about tabloid culture from the '80s - beyond what I've seen in documentaries - or media from other countries.)

What can really only happen is looking within - e.g., if you look at just the tabloid culture of the '90s or of the '10s, or if you look at just the media in England or in Spain. But again, that requires even knowledge of all the countries and all the media/tabloids, rather than just the ones that you know really well.

I know this probably isn't the analysis or the answer that you were looking for, anon.

Focusing specifically on my own personal knowledge of British and American media and tabloid culture, my theory is that British tabloids and media were more viscious in the '90s. They were checked by the public after Diana's death when the backlash against mass consumption reached fever pitch with the likes of George Clooney and Tom Cruise laying the blame for her death specifically on consumers and paparazzi. So while the British tabloids were licking their wounds and trying to find a new star/celebrity to replace Diana (JFK Jr. worked for a bit but then he died), American media and tabloid culture grabbed ahold of the reigns and became the mean, viscious ones in the '00s by turning their coverage on the young female stars of Millennial Hollywood and being more critically- and gossipy-focused in their coverage. American media continued to be the meaner, viscious, "worse" ones until the mid-'10s, when the rise of social media checked them because social media, or Web 2.0 technologies/user-generated content, meant the famous people could control their own image through their own specifically and specially curated content. This is when we started to see the celebrities partnering with tabloids and paparazzi take prevalence (as opposed to the spontaneous stakeouts of known celeb hotspots) and that's where tabloid culture in the US and the UK is today - it's a partnership between the famous person and the publication or photographer.

I can't comment on Spanish media or how the tabloids contributed to Frederick's affair(s) because I know nothing about Spanish media, Danish media, and the Danish royal family.

[avrorean]

wait why does Nanna not like Cullen?

I'm gonna take this as like, a character question and hope you're not offput or slighted as a cullen fan or a mage warden/cullen shipper ofjgodsfjosidd.

So it isn't really about Nanna not liking Cullen. Something I think needs to be understood is Nanna is First Enchanter Irving's apprentice - that isn't something I made for her specifically, that's dialogue confirmed in the Tower for every mage warden. You are Irving's Talented Apprentice. She's been witness to plenty of his arguments with Greagoir and has no doubt heard his complaints outside of them, something implied when you choose dialogue with him that's critical of the Knight-Commander. She's already primed and trained against trusting templars, because Irving doesn't trust the templars, and in some ambient dialogue with other mages you can understand why. They show almost immediately that the Templars already abuse their power over the apprentices, the youngest or least capable, in small ways; wariness is for her own safety.

In fact in this instance, it doesn't really have anything to do with Cullen himself or what it's assumed he would do. We know at this point he's very dedicated to not being inappropriate with his charges, he's sympathetic to an extent (but fun fact, if you play a male mage, you see he already has those seeds of paranoia against mages planted this early; cause that's what templar training does), it's extremely unlikely that he'd ever hurt her on his own. I'm sure he'd be very sweet in a vacuum.

But even disregarding that the threat that exists inherently, as I'm about to show, as soon as there's an order from someone higher than him, her life is in danger. And as Irving's apprentice, this is something she is already very aware of.

Cullen: O-Oh, um, h-hello. I...uh, am glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly. Warden: Hello, Cullen. Cullen: Th-They picked me as the Templar to strike the killing blow if...if you became an abomination. It's nothing personal, I swear! I-I'm just glad you're alright, you know? Jowan: psst, someone likes you! Warden: Would you have really struck me down? Cullen: I would have felt terrible about it... But... But I serve the Chantry and The Maker. And I will do as I'm commanded.

Slow down there, Romeo. all that just from saying hello. thanks buddy.

I think it's kind of funny that this is framed like a meet-cute with an awkward boy on the surface, but kind of insidiously is a prime example of why a templar-mage relationship within a Circle fundamentally cannot work. At least not healthily. You can be the sweetest, most sexless, classic courtly romance in the world, but as soon as the templar is given an order, that they'll choose the mage's life over their divine duty is slim. The templar inherently has power over their life. Even the good relationships where they do choose their love over duty, like Rhys and Evangeline, kind of inherently carry that power dynamic.

There's also just the fact that this man is not discreet even outside of this conversation. Everyone is telling her every 2 steps that this Templar is in love with you, he's so in love with you, dear maker have you heard this templar is in love with you. You hear about his crush on her LONG before you ever see this man's face. So suffice it to say that Nanna is very aware that she's caught the eye of a templar, and everything that she knows tells her this is a danger zone. So she smiles, she's polite, but this really isn't something she wants to deal with.

also I just wanna. pick through his dialogue real quick in Broken Circle

Cullen: This trick, again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong... warden: Cullen! Don't you recognize me? Cullen: Only too well. How deep they must have delved into my thoughts.... Cullen: Sifting through my thoughts... tempting me with the one thing I've always wanted but could never have. Using my shame against me, my ill-advised infatuation with her. A mage, of all things. Cullen: I am beyond caring what you think! The Maker knows my sin, and I pray he will forgive me. [...] You are a mage, and I a Templar. It is my duty to oppose you and all you are. Cullen: And to think, I once thought we were too hard on you.

I know a lot of people take this as ship material for cullen & a mage warden, but Nanna does not find this flattering. This is lowkey terrifying. Imagine you've grown up in the Circle and you're being told, in the most off-putting way possible, that your face, your person, and god knows what else has been used by a demon to tempt someone whose job all day is to watch you. Someone who every apprentice prior to this event has loudly announced fancies you, while watching you. And that it has almost worked.

I think it's also interesting to note that he exclusively refers both to his crush on her and her person in a possessive tense. She is the thing he always wanted, she is his shame, his sin, a mage of all things.

And we see in DA2 that he's still hard carrying that torch; when Hawke gets their Amell status back he immediately starts mooning about how special she was. But DA2 is arguably the worst he's ever been in regards to his feelings on mages. And in a less extreme case, it ties into something Anders says in what I believe is the rivalry romance route: you cannot claim to love me and despise what I am. And Nanna is a mage. She is a (mostly) free, distinctly not part of the circle mage. That isn't something that can change for him even if she reciprocated his feelings.

And that isn't to say Cullen isn't a victim in this scenario in regards to Broken Circle or downplay what he's going through in that scene - he absolutely has been tortured and is reacting in trauma. I don't want to downplay that at all. But I feel like to dismiss the implications of that affecting someone else like a mage warden loses some of the interesting factor to it. Nanna, and more broadly mage wardens in general, are also being extremely traumatized in this event, just in a different perspective. She's lost most of the people she's known her whole life too, her friends as well as his. She had to kill some of them herself. It isn't to lessen his suffering, but to highlight their traumas are on the same level, just different in some ways and very the same in others.

I feel similarly on this as I do with Alistair and the Landsmeet; to exclusively attribute the event to how it affects him and no one else involved is to remove the Warden as a character and exclusively view it through the lens of a player. And, yknow, its rp. I'm writing a character. It's not fun like that to just acknowledge a canon character's reaction to events and not the one you're writing.

Currently, being around him makes her uncomfortable. This isn't to say the two can't, at least in a developed Inquisition era, work things out to an extent. These two have a LOT of very complicated, very interconnected trauma that I think would be beneficial in talking to someone who gets it. That's about as close to therapy as Thedas is gonna get. If nothing else, he's made steps and he's been very open to the Inquisitor about wanting to apologize to her. But Cullen is still very Templar-minded in Inquisition, and whether the narrative wants to acknowledge that or not, is still running on a lot of his old biases. Which, that's part of the process, but without more work in that direction I don't see them being much more beyond coworkers, much less developing anything romantic between them. And I don't think it's without reason that Leliana gets increasingly more angry on her behalf in other dialogue over the fact that he keeps asking about her.

[fruit-sauce]

Thinking about that conversation between q!Bagi and q!BBH, the whole "I've been here for six months, you don't get me" part. (get ready for the ramble)

That's probably that most clearcut line that could've been said, because it's so true on both ends! Bagi just got here, she's upcoming one month. She's seeing everything with a fresh pair of eyes, she's interacting with people who, unbeknownst to her, are acting out of character.

For example, BBH! He, quoting him, was the island babysitter for the eggs, he was constantly grinding materials, weapons, armor, and full gift backpacks for the eggs and even other players. The way he's acting now, placing mines, going against others, being suspected of kidnapping a federation worker- that would've been insane to hear of a month ago, but because she's so new, that's just how BBH is in her eyes! He's suspicious and only sometimes trustworthy, because that's all she knows! She wants to help him but she doesn't know what direction to push him towards, she doesn't know what "the old BBH" is.

And then for BBH, he's been here since day one. He's raised Dapper, by himself and only could rely on himself since the beginning! He knows what the code and the federation and even all the other islanders are capable of, he's built such complex and strong relationships with every egg, to the point where he blames himself for their deaths and why they haven't come home yet... and that's something Bagi doesn't have.

Bagi has her own, personal reasons (that i don't fully know, i don't watch her streams but i do love reading large walls of text about her lore lmao) for putting together the pieces. She's doing fantastic at that btw! She knows nearly nothing about BBH and is somehow figuring things out about him that no one, not even us ghosties, have figured out, his age? We didn't know he was "give or take a couple millennia" years old! Standing ovation for Bagi, she's so smart and she's finding out such new, mind breaking things, again, she hasn't even been here for a month yet!

BBH has been basically at the front lines since day one, he helped build the NINHO, he was there during the journey to see Bobby, he's fought against the code again and again, watched his son die right in front of him; seen his friends and family deteriorate and not be able to help- everyday was just another struggle, another battle, for nearly 200 days straight. He's been there, uncovering the horrors and the secrets of the island for nearly 200 day straight.

Stack on top of that his past before the island: he's a demon, the grim reaper! he was summoned on an island, probably Atlantis, and destroyed it; he fought in a war along side Cellbit; he's lived for millennia, according to him, making friends and families, only to watch them all die; he got stuck in a time loop with the only person who can live as long as he does, the same person who, for the first time, isn't by his side; and much more!

Bagi knows that BBH has been here for six months, but whenever things happen to her, its new and interesting and not normal! The older islanders are so used to being gunned down and be on constant edge, and that's not right! Of course she wants to kill Cucurucho, so does everyone else, but she hasn't been here for six months, she doesn't know that you can't just put a cage around it, or hit it enough times, because she wasn't there to see everyone try that! She has new and fresh determination to figure out how to take down Cucurucho that no one else has! And I love that about her! Bagi has such a unique perspective on things that people like Cellbit or Philza or BBH or whoever need! Yes, there are patterns and reptation to things that they know, but Bagi can find things outside the box, connect dots that wouldn't typically be connected...

AUGH BAGI IS SO COOL AND I LOVE HER!!! I can't wait for more events and lore with her, even if its not for her specifically, I just love seeing her there <3

[ewingstan]

The Love Lost interlude was interesting. The flashback to interrogating Jen seemed to be establishing that Nicole was, even before everything, operating on certain specific beliefs and resulting frustrations. She saw the world as filled with people who aren't people but monsters, and was frustrated at how little she could do about it. She couldn't "stop all the bad guys," resented the misconduct statutes that slowed down her ability to send "monsters" to jail, and was at least somewhat aware that punishing them after they already hurt people accomplished little.

All of which helps explain her obsession with Rain: she sees him as an especially heinous monster who's escaped punishment too long. Not dealing with him and the other monsters would be compounding her failures, and the fact that killing him wouldn't accomplish anything doesn't matter that much, since she didn't really see it as accomplishing anything back when she was a cop.

The oddity is how she sees herself as working with another monster to "save the world." Firstly because Rain doesn't seem world-threatening, though maybe she's talking about the Mathers more generally. The whole of their plan still isn't clear to me, I'm not sure why they needed to attack the Navigators. But the bigger thing is that she sees Cradle as a monster, and it seems like the text agrees with her even in a way it didn't for Jen.

And its somewhat weird for the text to agree with that "some people are monsters" framing when this whole chapter is pretty clear that its wrong. Its earlier use in the flashback seems to be purposefully positioning it as wrong and dangerous:

Nicole describing people as inherently monstrous is first given in the context of a cop deciding someone must be guilty, and falsifying evidence on that basis. Its introduced as being part-and-parcel with police misconduct. And later parts pose it as something borderline fascistic:

She sees certain criminals as "not having reasons," as if they're savages who do violence because of some automatic, atavistic urge. Instead of, you know. Doing crimes to get money/revenge/safety/etc. People usually have reasons for doing things. But the fact that she thinks some people don't, and that she uses such a politically charged word as "degenerate" to describe such monsters, all signpost that Nicole is following an overly simplistic ideology with horrific ends. Even if she sees herself and Nailbiter as "very similar people at different points in their journeys," she sees the latter as someone who needs to die.

Then there's the whole Colt thing, that Colt was distressing to Nicole because she straddled the line between "innocent child" and "monster" and her becoming a parahuman pushed her in one direction rather than Colt's own autonomous choices. Colt has from the start been an example of people doing stupid harmful things for understandable reasons, and Nicole recognizes that as a burr in her worldview.

But then the reveal that Cradle has been manipulating the cluster and literally turning them evil for his own ends. Which admittedly I still don't understand at all. Though part of that is that I don't understand Nicoles side either; she wanted to kill all the "rule-breaker capes" but also said that stopping kids from getting into capedom was a worthy goal, and whatever she thought they were doing with March I completely missed. But the last paragraphs of Cradle revelation suddenly reinforces what the rest of the chapter so persistently (and often skillfully) tried to argue against vis-a-vis some people just being monsters. I'd typically say that this means that we have to be due for a humanizing look at Cradle, but nothing I've seen from Wardblr indicates I'll get it. We'll see.

Part of the problem might just be the form of the story: a genuine ideological belief that no human is a true monster gets in the way of having a truly villainous villain. But I'm not sure why this story needed one.

[myfandomrealitea]

I always want to wholeheartedly agree with the "create what you want, just label it" argument. I really want to. Right up until people defend unexamined bigotry. For example, I once ran into a story where Martha Jones was actually about to fail out of medical school when she met The Doctor, because she was "incapable" of learning human anatomy and medicine, and despite "bribing her teachers". I wrote in my journal that I thought the story was racist, in a public post, and people scolded me for being censorious and not letting people "have fun". (This was back when LJ was viable.) I have a pile of other experiences like that. I would never agree with the antis that Someone (aka them) should prevent people from writing whatever, but I feel like to completely agree with "create what you want, no limits, nothing matters but creating," I have to agree that a fan of color has no right to be hurt by a story that turns an intelligent Black woman into a cheat and an idiot, even in that fan's own space. What do you think?

You have every right to feel offended or hurt by a story. But your hurt and offense does not negate someone else's ability to create. Nor does it dictate that you can tell them what they can and cannot create.

How do you know the author wasn't a person of color themselves? How do you know they weren't writing the story based on their own emotions, difficulties or experiences? Is painting a person of color as 'unintelligent' a common theme in their works or was it just the plot device of this specific story? If Martha Jones was Asian or Indian or Caucasian, would you have still been offended on her behalf that an intelligent woman/intelligent woman of color was being turned into 'an idiot'?

These are questions we have to ask ourselves when trying to determine if a work was genuinely created with the intent of being harmful. Because individually not liking or being hurt by the content's of a story is not a good enough reason to advocate against it.

The 911 fandom, for example, saw a lot of it with Eddie Diaz. People were so entrenched in fandom virtue signalling that pretty much any depiction of Eddie Diaz in fanfiction was getting bitched about as 'out of character' or 'racist' including works written by actual people of color. It got to the point where for quite a while fanfiction production within the 911 fandom dropped way down because people were too annoyed with or upset by the constant accusations no matter what was being written.

And I know it probably sounds like I'm just smokescreening for racism or excusing it. but I can promise you, I've blocked and reported authors and fandom creators before for being blatantly racist in their content. But fanfiction and literature become trickier because the purpose of stories is not to be palatable or feel-good. Stories do not have to be pleasant. Fanfiction does not have to conform to the source material.

Describing someone as "incapable" is typically a turn of phrase and has nothing to do with trying to allocate unintelligence to a specific type of person. Plenty of people would be classed as "incapable" of learning medicine because its a hard fucking thing to learn. You need to dedicate more or less five-ten years of your life to studying it before you even really get anywhere with actually practising it.

If you're someone who's easily distracted or has trouble remembering things and vice versa, you're unlikely to go into a career field that especially demands these things of you.

I imagine in any case her failing out of medical school was likely the plot point that leads her to going off with The Doctor. Which is a simple narrative and not a case of "unexamined bigotry." Its just as likely that if the author had had Martha Jones simply give up her aspirations and career to follow The Doctor, someone else would've been offended by the trope of a (black) woman giving up everything for a (white) man and deemed the story sexist or racist. Possibly both.

When analysing literature you have to be critical of if something is offending you personally or if it was intended to offend people of color as a whole. If the answer is only the former, then its a situation where you just have to recognise the work is not for you and move along.

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

Hugo Novellas 2024

Did not read: Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher.

I swore off Kingfisher after her novel that won the Hugo last year. I looked at the overbearingly twee description of this concluded that there's no chance I'd enjoy it so I skipped.

I might read another of Kingfisher's books someday but she isn't getting an nth chance to win me over today.

5. The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older

An author who I did give a second chance by reading this. While it's a vast improvement over the last book I read by Older it's not enough of one.

It's set on a gas giant with a rail line circling the planet where people live on platforms along the line. The worldbuilding is on the surface interesting but can lack depth at times. For example the academic debates in the setting feel like they've been playing out for a few years (or less in some cases) instead of the centuries the setting suggests.

The novella is a hybrid murder mystery-romance. A detective Mossa contacts her Pleiti old girlfriend who is now an academic in the classics department (notably not the same discipline as classics in our times) to help her solve a mystery after another academic disappears and is presumed either to have killed himself or died. The mystery elements are competently executed; the romance less so.

It feels very self indulgent in ways that don't fit. Mossa literally starts referring to Pleiti as “my dear Pleiti" which just leaves me wondering are we meant to take this as Mossa making a deliberate reference to Holmes or what exactly.

(And this is petty and not on the book/author but everyone keeps describing the novella as "cozy" and cozy has a specific meaning for crime fiction which doesn't apply here and it bugs me.)

There are endless descriptions of food which I'm not against on principle but it's often the same food over and over and over again. Scones, scones and more scones. I like scones but at least shake it up a little!

None of these are severe problems but the best parts of the book are rarely more than okay so there's nothing to make up for it's shortcomings elsewhere.

4. "Seeds of Mercury" by Wang Jinkang (trans. Alex Woodend)

The initial premise of this novella has a fun reversal of the "inheriting a fortune from a distant relative" plot where the protagonist is already a rich businessman and inherits a quixotic scientific venture which is an endless money sink - nanomachines that could evolve like biological life over millennia.

Beyond that general concept many of the specific details reminded me of the Futurama episode A Clockwork Origin to the point I'm curious if someone on the Futurama staff read it when it was originally published in Chinese (although it's entirely possible they were inspired by other works of SF with similar plots instead).

It cuts back and forth between the present and sections sets in the distant future. The sections set in the present are much stronger for the most part and they never quite feel they gel together.

There's a disabled character who has an appearance that people view as hideous and he's presented sympathetically but the way it's dealt with was clumsy at best.

While I said above that the present sections are stronger even there the characters often feel wooden and unrealistic.

The central idea behind this novella is fine even if nothing terribly original. The execution however doesn't entirely work. This proves to be common to everything in this story. There's a lot of potential in all it's aspects but in the end that potential is never fully realised.

3. Rose/House by Arkady Martine

This wasn't the worst novella of this bunch but it was by far the most disappointing. I didn't have any expectations of Wang Jinkang and went in to Older's novella knowing it was likely I wouldn't enjoy it but Martine's Teixcalaan duology is great and I've been intending to read Rose/House since it came out.

It opens with a death in Rose House - a house that is an A.I. created by world famous architect Basit Deniau considered his greatest architectural triumph.

The death, suspected of being a murder, forms the impetus for the plot. Selene Gisil, a former student who denounced Deniau and who he named as his heir, is the only person who the A.I. will leave access the house (for one week a year) and is called back by the local police so they can investigate.

It's one of those increasingly common near future settings where everything is worse because of climate changes and it's downstream effects but that's largely background rather than focused on.

Perhaps the greatest disappointment of the book is the house just isn't that interesting. The A.I. as a character is as interesting as any of the others but the physical house itself didn't enthrall me. If you're going to make Rose House and architecture so central to the book the house itself needs to grab your attention and stick in your mind when you finish reading and it didn't.

We rotate between the POVs of Gisil and two local police officers. The story starts strong and gradually peters out until it comes to an end and you find yourself thinking "that's all?"

Martine is an talented author and there are moments that shines through. Ultimately though while she's a great author this book doesn't show her at her best.

2. Mammoth at the Gates by Nghi Vo

The latest entry in Nghi Vo's Singing Hills Cycle. It again follows Cleric Chih of the Singing Hills Monastery. Chih's order is tasked with with finding, recording and remembering stories of the past and they have talking hoopoe spirits with perfect memories as companions to help them with this task.

Instead of being out searching for stories to record this entry sees Chih return to the Monastery and meeting up with old friends including Always Brilliant his hoopoe companion. When Chih arrives back he finds his mentor Thien (who was once royalty) has died and there are, per the title, mammoth at the gates. The mammoths have been brought by Thien's grandaughters who are seeking to take his remains while the monks wish his funeral to be in accordance with their own customs.

This entry is not particularly spectacular or groundbreaking but it does what it sets out to do and it does it well. If you enjoyed the others books in this series you'll most likely enjoy this one too. It's portrayal of grief and change is powerful and moving. It also has moments of joy and cuteness that avoid being cloying.

It’s a good book. I wouldn’t necessarily nominate it for an award myself but I can see why others would.

"Life Does Not Allow Us to Meet" by He Xi (trans Alex Woodend)

This was the standout best of the novellas nominated this year. A novella about two new astronauts and the old astronaut (named like the author He Xi) who guides them who have been recruited to return to a water planet named the Caspian Sea. A previous mission ended in disaster with a woman He Xi loved being killed and warning the known route was too dangerous. A new route has now been discovered and they have been sent back to the planet. A return over 50 years in the making.

There are frequent awkward infodumps. At one point a character explains he's infodumping because he wrote his thesis on the subject which is all the justification needed but before and after there are no attempts to justify characters infodumping or it being dropped directly in the narrative. It's strange because some elements of the story are dripfed in a carefully measured manner but it doesn't even bother trying for anything else.

I wouldn't say romance is centre stage to the book exactly but love, including romantic love, and how it affects people is something the story focuses on.

Thematically it deals with heavy subjects: colonialism, genocide and whether contact with alien species would inevitably lead to conflict and war. It's matter of fact in how it relays atrocities which combined with some unsettling imagery only serves to make them more chilling. The story's handling of these subjects isn't flawless but I found it compelling.

So much of my thoughts about this novella hinge on the ending which is impossible to discuss without giving the whole story away. I may make another spoiler filled post about it at some point.

It's not perfect but out of the five I've read it’s easily the best novella among them. Highly recommended. As near as I can tell it's the only story of his that has been translated into English. Hopefully this will win and spur more translations of his work.

General Thoughts

Overall I think this is a weak year for the novella category. There's nothing terrible nominated but He Xi's is the only standout. Comparing it to other recent years every other year has 2-3 novellas I'd rank above the other five here.

[wisdom-devotee]

just came across one of your posts about being a worshipper with ADHD, and I'm the same. I've been in and out of my practice and faith for the past four years, mostly due to life situations but partially due to my ADHD (and additionally as I was raised atheist and have no point of reference for any religiousness haha). Do you have any tips for someone trying to remain consistent with their worship? <33 hope college is treating you kindly

Omg! First of all, thank you so much for the ask! College is treating me fairly well, and much better than it did last year-

I relate to this ask a lot oh my. The being raised atheist part is also SO true. Being raised athiest affects so much of my worship I think.

This is just what works for me and it may not work for you, so please trust me when I say that if this list doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean nothing will. I know sometimes when resources don’t work it can feel very disheartening but I promise something will.

So for me, having all my prayers and info I want to remember about my deities written down in a google doc has been really helpful, because my memory is VERY unreliable. You can keep this as a physical thing instead of digital but I have google docs on my phone, so it’s always with me. I have a lot written on there - epithets, prayers, lists of potential offerings, myths I want to remember, etc. this isn’t even strictly an ADHD thing, im sure many people do this and it might be obvious to some but I thought it was worth mentioning.

Next, try making worship into part of your routine. This makes it so much easier to be consistent in it! I don’t mean saying good morning/goodnight to deities (that’s awesome and so valid, but I can NEVER make it a habit, then I feel bad after not having done it for a while). Personally, I devote showers to Aphrodite because of her association with water and the fact that it’s a self care thing. Whenever I remember, I offer food to my deities if I’m eating something I associate with them. I listen to music on my way to college, so if I’m listening to a song I associate with them, I’ll think about them while listening to it. Since I’m a student, I offer a lot of my college stuff to Athena (flash cards, annotated books, etc) and invite Her to study with me. Things like that are a lot easier to remember to do than trying to remember to take specific time out of the day for worship if that makes sense?

So far this blog is also helping me stay consistent! Talking about my deities so much on here, and finding stuff to reblog, means I’m thinking about them a lot more than I would otherwise.

I haven’t done this yet myself but I thought of it while writing this out. Maybe centre aspects of worship around any current hyperfixations you have? If there’s a show you really like, invite them to watch it with you. If you’re getting into a new hobby, maybe it comes under a domain of a deity you worship, and even if not you could still dedicate it to them (like making crafts and offering them to Athena or Hephaestus for example? If it’s a sport, dedicate it to Ares. Etc)

This last one, I can’t stress this enough, and it’s something I forget too - be kind to yourself. We aren’t perfect. We are going to forget. We aren’t always going to be consistent. I truly think our deities understand and expect this of us, and that as long as we aren’t outright disrespectful they won’t hold it against us if we aren’t always able to fully devote ourselves to them, y’know? We’re people. We have busy lives. Our brains don’t work that well sometimes. But we love and respect our deities so much and they definitely see that!

If there’s typos in this I’m so sorry, I hope it makes sense

[fictionadventurer]

I have been curious about Elizabeth Goudge for quite a time now (thanks to you), but of course I don't have easy access to her works, so I was wondering if you could write some sort of orientation of how to navigate her stories, which are to be preferred first, etc? Mostly interested in her non-children-oriented books (nothing against the thing per se, I just have a harder time with it).

I don't have easy access to her work either, so I've mostly just read from among the handful of books that happen to be on hoopla.

Of the ones I've read, The Dean's Watch and The Rosemary Tree are by far my favorites. Life-changing literature for me.

The Dean's Watch is set in a Victorian cathedral town, and is about a developing friendship between the dean of a cathedral and a master clockmaker, and how it transforms various relationships. I can't get any more specific than that, but it's a very, very Advent book.

The Rosemary Tree centers around a newly-released prisoner coming to an English country town, getting work as a gardener, and getting entangled in the lives of the local priest's family and some schoolteachers. It's very much a springtime book, all about growth, repentance, forgiveness, renewal, and second chances.

Green Dolphin Street is perhaps her best known book (of her adult work), about a man who meets two sisters and later accidentally marries the wrong one. I've only read part of it so far, and did like what I read. Note that the people who have finished it call it a masterpiece and also emotionally devastating.

The Elliot trilogy is also fairly well-known saga about a family in a country town. I've read the second and third books. The second is titled either The Herb of Grace or Pilgrim's Inn depending on if you're in America or Britain, and it's about a young family buying and restoring a house that was one a medieval inn. It is absolutely peak cottagecore. The Heart of the Family follows the family post-WWII as a concentration camp survivor comes there to find healing, and the main couple heals their marriage. I liked the former book more than the latter, but they're both excellent examples of Goudge style, if not as transcendant as some of the others.

The only other book of hers I've read so far is The Scent of Water, and to be honest, I remember nothing about it. It's very much in her style of nature + family + poetic writing + spiritual revelations, but I can't for the life of me tell you what the plot was.

That's about all the guidance I can offer you on her works. There are a lot of people who are a lot more widely read in her works than I am (@teabooksandsweets is the local expert, who doesn't seem to be around lately, but maybe checking her blog could be a better starting point.)

[halfusek]

is batdr canon to abomination?

oh hell no

sdfghjfgbfdhj

honestly nothing aside from batim is canon to abomination (so none of the other games and none of the books) because i based abomination on my super hyperfixated analysis of the batim game

i did include some things from other things - like i included the characters of buddy and dot - but their stories in abomination are very different and more like cameos rather than proper includement

abomination wouldn't be abomination if it included other materials aside from batim - because it relies a lot on how vague batim was

other games and books (whether they're canon in general or not) were less vague and tried to be more definitive and finite - and the story and the world they ended up to paint just turned out to be different than what i've imagined with batim and created abomination to be

so, no, the way batdr is, i cannot make it canon to abomination, even if i wanted to (which i don't), there's too many logical and thematical contradictions

but maaaaaayyybeeee i'll think about how i could use elements of batdr for a continuation of abomination. maybe. big maybe fdgjknfd

because there are some cool concepts that i could definitely make work or use in a different context

but then there's some that are very troubling - for example, uh. audrey. audrey's existence. dnfgfksd

basically abomination does have "family" and "parenthood" as a theme but it's very different than what batdr did. in abomination joey is bendy's father (the squish one, the inky blobby one and also the toon one, to me both joey and henry are his parents)

however the way it works is that joey is a terrible father, he does love bendy as his son/creation and he maybe even loves him a lot but that doesn't change how awful he is. obviously. and bendy loves him as his father but recognizes his awfulness and with time oposses him more and more (the abomination version of bendy is generally very naive and doesn't know much about the world, he had a lot to learn and still does). and it's not like joey doesn't recognize how awful he is. he does. he did not really ask to be a dad, he didn't expect that to be the outcome of the things he's been trying to do. he tried to be one but let's agree he wasn't the best at it. SO YEAH they have a VERY complex father/son dynamic

so if. he was to just. go out of his way and make a random daughter??? it would be really weird and unfitting and go against EVERYTHING that i established in abomination so far gfdnkgjnfkd

(and i'm not gonna lie. not the biggest fan of that narrative decision from the bendy devs either but oh well fdnjkdgf it's their story)

but it would feel weird to try to "include parts of batdr but without audrey specifically" so i might think about her in all this more, but she just might end up being someone else and not be related to joey in any way. i'll see

so yeah TLDR

batdr is not canon to abomination but i might do something in the future that expands on abomination's story and includes elements of batdr but they most likely will be very recontextualized

[pancakeke]

another long work post lol

my parent company's female empowerment/women in tech initiative is doing a book club. the book is about being confident and challenging gender stereotypes to succeed in the workplace. tho the focus of this post is not about the book.

someone who was with my branch before we were acquired by the parent company was a part of this book club. she's still a part of our branch but she works mainly with the parent company.

in our first club meeting, this coworker brought up that her biggest takeaway was how staying at one company for a long time makes it hard to escape preconceived notions that people have of you. now that she works more with our parent company she's been able to get a fresh start and feel less held back by people's dated perceptions her.

the whole time she spoke I was just staring dead eyed at this call like girl... two months ago I met with HR to start a hostile workplace environment case because specifically you and three other people have been harassing and retaliating against me (and everyone around me) with zero accountability. this is not new, ive been trying to get your managers to reel in your inappropriate behavior for a LONG time. and I never used old examples, there's always soemthing new.

this has been going on since the day I met her. it's been 8 years. what "preconceived notions" is she talking about when she treats me like shit over nothing every time we interact. I have an open email chain with her where I've been trying to get incredibly simple info from her but she refuses to tell me anything for some unknown reason that she also wont explain. I've followed up 4 times and now she won't even reply anymore.

I have a similar email chain with her about a process she was supposed to implement 10 months ago but never did, so I have to continuously clean up everything behind her. she also won't explain why she didn't/isn't implementing it. though she did try to lie and claim that no one ever told her anything about this plan (she was on all the meetings and emails chains about it so?) am I taking crazy pills?

i think we need a female empowerment in the workplace book that has a side bar for women who think the reason they dont get what they want is because they're meek and get treated like doormats. but in reality they're overtly aggressive nightmares whose lies, vengefulness, and total disregard for processes make the jobs of everyone around them nightmares.

like, these types of women don't need confidence to do as they please so they can stand up for themselves. they need confidence so they can to act normal and stop behaving aggressively as a defense mechanism.

advice for those two things probably converge a good amount but I think it's important to specifically tell people like this lady that no, margaret thatcher did not have girl power. she was just a horrible cunt.