#so like the whole strictly speaking plot is done

[goldensunset]

but like it’s still clear that the original end of the game was The end bc it was the first time it played and also that’s the point at which you actually unlock postgame stuff. and y’know. with how story focused this game is clearly the ending was always going to be saying goodbye to n

super super bizarre having them do the whole hall of fame thing and then playing the end credits again as if it’s the end lol. like it’s just wild to think that beating the champion is all postgame. nah man the story already happened lol. and i love that. i love that they broke tradition like that. i love that they made the official end of the game the point at which you say farewell to the central character after your conflict has been resolved and that’s why the end credits have such a like serious but energetic tone cuz it’s like lift your head high we’ll meet again someday!!! but it does mean it’s very surreal rn when you get all this after having just beat someone in a friendly match. much like in platinum

[sturniolo-rat]

Chapter 1: Cherry Contact

A/N: If this flops, I’m going to cry😢 In loving memory of @newsourceofnonsense, she's not dead; I just like the memory of her.

Contains: smut, oral, fingering , exhibitionism, plot

TW: tell me if you find any

Chris and Y/N are two walking commitment issues that enter into a mutually assured attachment.

Everyone thinks Y/N is a book hoarder, but she considers herself more of a book collector. She has over 700 books that take up damn near her whole apartment. The collection consists primarily of special and first-edition books. It’s probably worth around $50,000, but she doesn’t care because she plans on keeping them forever. To fund her obsession, she works as a waitress at a restaurant that just opened up called “The Copper Kitchen.” her best friend, Dorset, is a freckle-faced white girl with short brown hair, green eyes, and circle glasses. She also happens to be a bartender at “The Copper Kitchen.” Currently, Y/N is outside of her apartment waiting for Dorset so they can carpool to work. When Dorset pulls up in her shitty car, Y/N is ecstatic because she has big news to share. 

“Dot, I’ve done it!” she says as she hops into the passenger seat. 

“Wh- what have you done?” She’s very concerned that Y/N has done something crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last time something like this happened, she told Dorset that she got her ex’s name tattooed on her left ass cheek.

“I’ve decided to have sex with men again!”

Dorset is relieved. “OMG! Yes! We can finally fight over men again!” They laugh as she merges back onto the road to begin the short trip to work.

“Yep, I’m meeting a guy at the restaurant after my shift,” Y/N says proudly. She's been off men since her break up three years ago, and this new guy is the first not to give her the ick within the first week of talking. She knows meeting up doesn’t automatically mean sex, but she hasn’t had dick in 3 years and feels that she owes it to herself to fuck this man. It’s not like she’s interested in anything else from him. Romance is strictly off the table for her. She prefers to stick to smutty romance books and shitty Tumblr fanfics of perfectly romanticized versions of men. 

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about your little hookup.” They part as they head to their respective jobs at the restaurant—time to deal with shitty customers who tip like assholes. 

Twenty minutes before the end of her shift, the most obnoxious kids walk in. They’re not actually kids; they're about 20, but Y/N considers anyone under 22 a kid, and these guys seem incredibly immature.

“Hey guys!” Says Nick, holding up the camera. “Welcome to today’s Friday vlog where we will be…”

Matt takes the camera, “trying the food at…” 

Chris gets into the shot and yells, “The Copper Kitchen!”

Nick hits Chris in the head “Don’t yell in my fucking ear!” 

“Don’t hit me, Dickface!” Chris hits him back while Matt holds the camera and laughs to the side.

The Y/N comes up and loudly asks, “Is this your whole party?” She gives them a disapproving look. 

Matt is the first to speak, “Yes, ma’am, it’s just the three of us today.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said Nick and Chris in unison. Chris is noticeably more embarrassed than Nick is. He’s absolutely mortified to be seen acting like a child in front of such a beautiful woman.

“Thank you. Let me show you to your table.” She picks up three menus before walking them to their seats. Only when they’re all sitting and looking up at her does she realize that the three boys are triplets. “Can I start you off with something to drink?” 

She points to Matt. “Root beer, thanks.”

She points to Nick. “Water, if you don’t mind.”

She points to Chris. “What’s the best virgin mixed drink you guys have?”

“I’m not sure, but you can never go wrong with a Shirley Temple. Do you want me to go ask the bartender?” She would love to tell Dorset about the sexy triplets that just stumbled in.

“Nope, we’re all good. I’ll take a Shirley Temple and a Pepsi.”

“Great. I’ll be back in a few with your drinks.” 

Y/N practically runs to Dorset. Chris can’t help but watch her ass as she walks to the bar to order his drink. When she returns a few minutes later, she hands Chris his drinks last.

“Thank you for the Pepsi, but this…” he lifts the mixed drink and hands it to her. “is for you, miss…” he pauses to look at her name tag. “Y/N. It’s an apology for making a scene in your restaurant.”  Nick and Matt are in shock over how forward he’s being. Chris has never really flirted in front of them before. It’s kind of weird, but they can see why he has so many girls in and out of his room. 

“Well, thank you…”

“Chris.” he interrupts. “Please, call me Chris.” he gives Y/N a charming smile.

“Thank you very much, Chris. However, my shift is over, and Michelle will serve you for the rest of the night.” 

“I’m sorry to see you go, miss Y/N, but I hope you have a good day.”

“Will do, Chris,” says Y/N before she walks away to sit across the room at the bar. She talks to Dorset about her date tonight while she waits for him. His name is Theo. He’s blonde with deep brown eyes, and from what Y/N can tell from sexting, he’s so fucking good at dirty talk. Unfortunately, he is 30 minutes late to meet her. 

Chris has been relatively quiet for today’s video. He’s been distracted watching Y/N enjoy his drink and seeing her smile and laugh with her friend. She looks somewhat distressed now, and Chris can't help but think he’s found his opening. He makes the boys wrap up the video and leaves to get Y/N’s number. 

He turns on his charm and sits on the stool next to her. “What’s got you so worried, miss Y/N.”

“Pretty sure I’m being stood up. I’m also pretty sure people under 21 can’t sit at the bar.”

“Who says I’m not 21? Maybe I’m here to buy you another drink.” 

Y/N cocks her eyebrow as she calls her friend over. “Order me something then.”

Chris tries to think his way out of this. “Listen, you guys are friends, right? She’s just been stood up, and a handsome young man would like to buy your friend a drink. I’m sure if you just forget to card me this one time and let me buy her a Shirley Temple with vodka and extra cherries, it would make her night ten times better.”

“My hands are tied, Y/N. You’re my weakness.” she looks to Chris. “Dirty Shirley coming right up.”

“You’re fuckin’ smooth, aren’t you?” asks Y/N. 

Much more confident than he was moments before Chris responds, “Yes, ma’am, I am. Now tell me all about the bad man who hurt you.”

“I’m not really hurt,” she replies, but Chris can tell she’s hiding something. 

“No?” he questions.

Dorset comes with her drink, and Y/N takes a nervous sip. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course you can, Miss Y/N.”

“I’m not hurt. I was just really horny, and I got my nails done for this date, and not I can’t even touch myself at home because my nails are so sharp,” she says, completely embarrassed. She doesn’t make eye contact with him and focuses intensely on eating her maraschino cherries. 

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but…” he leans in, whispering in Y/N’s ear, “ I think I can help you with that.” She doesn’t miss a beat. She takes his hand and drags him to the large family bathroom. Dorset claps and cheers them on openly as they make their way. Y/N makes a mental note to get her back somehow later. 

She palms him through his pants, and Chris grabs her face, pulling her into a rough, hurried kiss. “Oh, fuck. You taste like cherries.” he hikes up her uniform skirt and rubs her over her panties. 

“You have yourself to thank for that.” 

He spins her around so he can watch her face in the mirror as he touches her. “You’re also soaked. Do I have myself to thank for that, too?” before she can say anything, Chris’s finger is spreading her lips apart and playing at her entrance. 

She closes her legs in response. “Nope, not so fast. You gotta eat it first.”

Chris sinks to his knees. “Yes, ma’am.” he wastes no time. He spreads her thighs apart, slides her panties to her knees, and starts lapping at her clit from behind. He’s got to be quick because his brothers are waiting for him. 

She bends over the sink, propping herself up on her forearms. “Oh, fuck!” she groans. 

“Hush, Cherry. Don’t want to get fired for fucking on the job, do we?.” The vibrations from his laugh makes Y/N’s pussy shiver causing her to wiggle a little. Chris loves watching her ass jiggle. “Has anyone ever eaten your ass?” he parts her cheeks and gives her a playful spank. “You have such a cute little asshole. Do you mind if I try?” 

“Yeah, you can try,” she says sheepishly, hiding her face from the mirror. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget to give your clit some attention.” 

“Oh, yes! Just like that!” Y/N cries out louder than she means to as his tongue explores her ass. He rubs her clit with the pad of his finger, and she lets out a breathy moan. Chris is hard as a fucking rock, and she’s making such pretty sounds. It’s torture not to touch himself, but he came here to help her out and needs to focus on making her cum. 

“Yeah. Tell me how you like it.” 

“Fingers, please,” she begs. 

“Tell me how many you need, Cherry?”

“Two. Just two, please.” Y/N takes his fingers inside of her with ease. He searches for a moment to find that special spot of hers. “Right there!” 

Chris is so happy with how open she’s been to him. The girls he’s been with recently have been so meek. She’s such a good girl telling him just where she needs him. He works his fingers into her faster, making sure to hit her G spot every time. Y/N starts pushing herself back on his fingers. Chris feels her pussy begin to tighten like a vice around him. “You’re such a good fucking girl. Cum for me, Cherry. Cum on my fingers.” her legs giveaway as her climax burns through her, and Chris has to hold her up as he tries to work her through it. 

When her orgasm subsides and her vision comes back, Chris is on the floor holding her. She rests her head on his chest and says, “Thank you. That was fucking amazing.”

“Anytime, Cherry. I don’t expect any reciprocation today, but I feel I am owed your phone number.” He hands her his phone, and the new contact is already open. 

“Of course, here’s my number, Chris.” she hands the phone back to him, gets back onto her feet, and pulls her panties up. She leaves without saying goodbye. Chris looks down at his phone and smiles at her contact name. “Y/N🍒 (Sexy Waitress)”

Masterlist

Taglist

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[maidenimage]

90 minutes

I couldn't sleep, so I got on my computer and edited season 2 down to just the present-day Crowley/Aziraphale scenes, just to see how much time that fills.

The answer is: approximately 145 minutes (or 2 hrs 25 min).

I removed everything that didn't have either of them in it, as well as the minisode flashbacks. Here's how each episode tallies up:

2x01: 0:33:45

2x02: 0:18:58 Job Minisode is an additional 0:25:36

2x03: 0:19:12 Edinburgh Minisode is an additional 0:18:25

2x04: 0:05:36 Nazis Minisode is an additional 0:32:48

2x05: 0:27:19

2x06: 0:40:03 (like basically the entire episode, not much fat to trim here)

Keep in mind that this is not a story edit; meaning there are scenes that I cut out that probably would have been in the season if we were genuinely trying to whittle it down to movie-length but keep the integrity of the story. (This includes scenes such as Muriel bringing the matchbox to Michael and Uriel, Shax in Hell talking to Beelzebub, all the Gabriel/Beelzebub flashbacks in episode 6, etc.) But it's late and I don't have time to do that right now, so this is the rough framework we're working with.

Here's my takeaway:

Can season 3 be sliced and diced into one 90-minute episode/movie? Yeah, probably. Are we going to lose a lot of the heart of the show and the characters in doing so? Definitely. Because in order to edit season 2 down into 90 minutes while still keeping the story in tact, I would probably have to add back some of the non-Aziracrow scenes, and cut the following:

The "Before the beginning" scene with Angel Crowley starting up the universe (which we can all agree would be a devastating loss; but doesn't directly tie to present day)

Most likely, the apology dance (because it's long and isn't strictly speaking necessary, except TO ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL)

Most if not all of the scenes of Aziraphale convincing the various shopkeepers to attend the meeting (which would gut me, but is objectively not necessary to the story)

A great deal of the Maggie/Nina story (would probably keep some of it, but most of it is superfluous)

A lot of the Gabriel/Jim scenes (which are adorable but are there for entertainment, and not story)

A great deal of the Crowley/Jim scene where he confronts him about telling Aziraphale to shut his stupid mouth and die. Parts of this sequence were important, but a lot of it would have been axed/shortened.

The scene of Aziraphale driving the Bentley and Crowley calling him, furious about everything (which would break my heart to lose)

All of the minisode flashbacks (which would be the MOST tragic thing to do to this content, but objectively none of it was needed for the season 2 plot)

All of Shax gathering the demon troops and Eric arguing with her (which, I wouldn't cry about losing, but still shows you the flavor of the show that would be gone)

Other Hell scenes (e.g. Beelzebub and the dung pits demon)

Other Heaven scenes (e.g. Michael and Uriel arguing over duty officer etc)

A great deal of the demons/bookshop battle (to shorten it up/tighten it)

A great deal of Crowley in Heaven investigating Gabriel's trial/disappearance (again just to shorten/tighten, but not lose completely)

And again, this is all stuff that could easily be cut and the story of season 2 would remain the same, but look at how much of what makes this show so great would be lost.

Ultimately, I'm not here to tell you how to feel. I can tell you what I feel, which is outraged and devastated and grieving and ready to storm studios with pitchforks and a frothy mouth. But I recognize that the Terry Pratchett estate went to bat for us in a big way, and we owe them everything we get in this upcoming finale.

I have other thoughts on this whole nonsense, but I'll save that for another post. Just wanted to provide some numbers data for folks who are curious about what could reasonably be done in 90 minutes. Hope this helps in some way.

@goodomensafterdark @fuckyeahgoodomens

[here4kpopfics]

Make My Day | MYG

Just a small thing based off a real life moment that just makes me 🤗 no smut no plot not really anything to warn about. yoonmin version on my ao3

~

Today was a day. Working in retail is and always will be physically and emotionally draining and every shift has you questioning why, only to be reminded by the never ending alerts from your bank account of the answer.

Just a few more years, your debts will hopefully be less and you can move somewhere else in the middle of nowhere and never have to use your fake customer service voice again.

That’s the dream.

But for now, you’re minding your business, have barely spoken a word to your managers or coworkers because you’re tired after a six day workweek with hours varying between six and ten hours a shift, and you’re just done.

The few customers you did take, were complete assholes. Whether it’s bitching about the return policy, complaining about lack of discounts, or just ranting about the line that shouldn’t have been thirty minutes long (it was five to ten maximum, but go off, Karen), they all had something to say to test you and your patience.

Luckily, you’ve worked in retail for far too long that the yelling and the cursing and the name calling do absolutely nothing to you anymore. If anything, it makes you giggle internally. Except that one time you accidentally laughed out loud and that set off a whole new tirade about being disrespectful to the old white guy that was calling your younger coworker incompetent trash.

Because you know, it’s not the same thing. It’s different.

So you stayed quiet for a vast majority of your shift, letting your coworkers handle customers and you handled the go backs, organizing and reticketing those that needed it. You didn’t even notice Yoongi coming up to your station until you turned around, jumping in place and almost shouting.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Yoongi. Don’t do that!” You whispered, always afraid a customer would hear you curse and another tantrum would be thrown.

“I said your name.”

“Well, I didn't hear it.”

“I said it like three times.”

“Liar.”

“You can’t prove that.”

You couldn’t even look at him or bring yourself to continue arguing. You just roll your eyes and go back to your go backs, ignoring him. You have to ignore him.

You’ve had a small crush on Yoongi for a few months now. He’s sweet, funny when he wants to be, soft spoken, his long hair usually up in a half ponytail. He’s beautiful. It doesn’t help that he loves to loiter around your station, bothering you with random questions and comments.

It also doesn’t help that he's in a very serious relationship and has been for years. So he’s strictly off limits.

But there’s nothing wrong with a little friendly flirting, right? As long as you don’t act on it. As long as he doesn’t act on it.

So you keep your space, both of you talking only while clocked in, and keeping the conversations as vague as can be. You will not be responsible for any breakups. You will just admire him from a distance.

Yoongi doesn’t seem to know about this, though.

“You good?” Yoongi speaks after a moment of silence.

“Mmm.” You hum, nodding, eyes glued to the clothes you’re reticketing.

“You don’t seem good.”

“I can’t always have a sunshine personality, Yoongi. That’s not me.”

“Fair.” He shrugs, grabbing the go backs you’ve deemed ready and taking them to the fitting room to be sorted. You sigh, wanting to curl up under the tables and hide until closing.

You go to break later, quickly inhaling something overpriced from the vending machine and a lemonade, before returning to your station.

That’s when you see it.

It’s ugly, honestly. An almost cropped jacket that is Barbie pink and fuzzy. The price tag makes you want to throw up. This jacket should not be in the three digit range. Absolutely not. It’s hideous.

It’d look stunning on Yoongi, though.

You look around, there’s probably one or two people in line, but there’s more than enough coverage from your coworkers to handle the front of the store. You grab the hideous jacket, heading straight to the fitting room where you know Yoongi is hiding from customers.

When you turn the corner into the employee only area, he’s hiding in his usual corner, just out of sight of the camera back there and on his phone. When he looks up to see you come in, he smiles, putting his phone away.

“You need another rack? Didn’t we just switch them?” Your other coworker, Miyeon, questions and you’re quick to shake your head.

“Nope.” You look at Yoongi, holding out the pink monstrosity, “I need you to make my day better and put this on for me.” It’s half a second before anxiety creeps in that he’d call you weird and say no.

But he’s admitted before to trying on women’s clothing back here when there’s no customers, doing full on fashion shows in designer dresses with the rest of the floor team.

He’s even shown you pictures that made you fight the urge to zoom in on his butt and comment.

Which is why he happily takes the jacket from you, slipping it on in an instant and putting his hair down for extra dramatic effect.

“How’s it look?” He grins, doing various dramatic fashion poses for you.

“Absolutely stunning on you, ugly as hell on a hanger.” Miyeon replies, making you hum in agreement.

“I make everything look good.”

“Oh, shut up.” You roll your eyes again, unable to hide the smile he’s caused.

“Anything else? Heels? A dress?”

“You two are weird” Miyeon rolls her eyes with a smirk. Her eyes catch onto the little television screen above the racks of clothing that shows the front of the fitting room. A couple people approach the front, and Miyeon sighs, leaving you both to tend to them.

You watch her interaction with the customers, the slow dread feeling from earlier settling back in.

“You sure you’re okay, y/n?”

Your eyes drop to the floor, taking a deep breath before looking back up at him.

Yoongi is so pretty. His smile is adorable and comforting.

“Just a shit week. I’ll be okay. Thanks for putting on the jacket.”

“You’re welcome.”

You give a small smile back, turning to leave when Miyeon returns.

And that’s the extent of your interaction that night.

But, of course, it doesn’t always just end there. You don’t see him again for three days, schedules always being misaligned. But when you do, he’s stepping out of the fitting room in line of sight from your work area, pink fuzzy jacket on and a stupid grin to go with it, posing like an idiot to make you laugh.

[lohstandfound]

I don't know if this is ever going to leave the drafts (if anyone sees this, you can tell I've just said fuck it) but I have many thoughts on bmc but if it was in new Zealand. Or if some of the characters were Māori. Is it largely bullshit? Yeah. Do I care? No. The concept has been swimming around my head for ages I just finally need to get it out

First off. Armageddon. Michael and Jeremy are going every year. In cosplay. Pre Squip Rich would have too. Armageddon = convention.

Anyway, Chloe and Jake as being Māori. Well. Undecided on Chloe, but if she were she would have the pukana down to an art.

This is where projection comes in with Jake. Jake pretends a lot, deflects his own feelings. Let's add in a small identity crisis but making him a white-passing Māori who doesn't know where he whakapapas too. He knows he's Māori but with his parents not encouraging it as he gets older and then just leaving, he's lost the only real tie to who he is and if he doesn't know who he is then what's the point in trying to forge that connection himself when he has no idea where to start. The language that he grew up learning is foreign to him. There's a hole that he just can't fill and there are options for him to take but he won't. After all, who would believe him if he tried to stake his claim?

Speaking of Jake, he's head boy material. If he's not head boy, he's house captain. He'd hold records for athletics and swimming sports.

I don't think this was a universal NZ high school experience, but my high school had a parables competition (yay! go Catholic school! /sarcasm) which was basically each house did a short play that was lovely based on a parable and full of jokes and references. This has Christine written all over it.

(speaking of Catholic education, I do occasionally think about the concept of Jake being raised Catholic. He'd have top marks in religious studies but god he'd be even deeper in the closet)

Brooke and Michael both take art. Michael falls victim to the 'term 4 rush to complete the art portfolio because you spent the whole year procrastinating' curse and rushing to put something together. Brooke has it done in plenty of time. One year, Michael finished his portfolio right before it had to be packed up and sent away.

Brooke makes it to the excellence exhibition for her level three portfolio

Chloe is the type of girl to get all her clothes from Glassons

A while ago I made a post about Jake shopping at Factorie, which I don't think is around anymore. But I walked past it once and everything was brightly coloured and fluorescent

Chloe and Brooke have matching Pandora bracelets. I don't think that's strictly a kiwi thing but they absolutely would

Speaking of Brooke and Chloe, we have no Pinkberry. My town used to have Kiwiberry, so I guess that's the equivalent?? Or they go to Tank and get smoothies.

Christine participates in Summer Shakespeare, or the Sheilah Winn Shakespeare Festivals.

I don't think much would really change plot wise. Jeremy buys his Squip in the back of a Kmart. Not sure where Michael's getting his vintage fizzy from. Jake's 100% an over achiever. They're all likely to be wearing school uniforms, and Jake would 100% have a blazer (if he can't have a letterman, he gets a school blazer. It's close enough). My only thing is that school productions (in my experience and observations) happen in the middle of the year? Before Halloween. And if they're juniors in high school, then I would assume they would be like year 12. So that's really getting to the time of year where they have like a week or two left of school because exams start in November. So the climax of the play and Jake's Halloween party don't line up.

The only way I can think of it working is starting, like, the year before? Midway through the plot is when the cast would join the play. Jake's party could just be a regular house party during the term breaks. Or, y'know, I could be completely wrong regarding the timings of school productions. But exams do start in November so the characters wouldn't really be in school.

Unless the squip tries to hijack prize giving which would really be an odd choice.

(i actually took a look at when some of the local high schools do their shows and scratch all that, it could work out since they do their shows in march which would mean they probably would start preparing the year before? im not 100% sure considering that is a lot of time for a show- maybe too much. most of the theatre i did during high school was not at school. the theatre i did at school aligned more with a musical but put most of the focus on dancing rather than plot. anyway, those happened in like september)

(im putting way too much thought into the logistics for the plot of a silly little musical that takes place in new jeresy)

Jake's that kid that needs help carrying all his awards and trophies off the stage at prize giving.

If I were to assign them house colours, Jake and Michael are obviously red, Chloe is blue, Rich is green, Brooke is yellow. Not sure about Jeremy, Christine, or Jenna. Are houses a thing in us schools?

Christine becomes performing arts committee leader, Chloe becomes the social committee leader who plans the school ball (Brooke and Jenna are also on the committee).

Chloe is a netball girlie. All the girls who you could possibly think of as the mean girls all played netball

(and they all had platinum blonde hair too...)

Jake, Brooke, Rich and Chloe all have lunch bordering on the out of bounds area, where teachers don't often pass. Jeremy and Michael have a classroom. Michael gets his slushies from the school tuck shop.

Chloe did Kapa Haka as a kid. Undecided whether or not she still does in high school.

Jake gets an excellence endorsement in every subject because of course he does

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Chaol's Desert Adventure

Ok, this is going to be the MOST "your mileage may vary" review ever. I'm admitting to bias right up front because I was SO GROUCHY that I had to slog through Chaol's Desert Adventure after the end of Empire of Storms, and quite frankly this book could have been an email. There were exactly three plot-relevant things happening, and the rest of it was following characters I was never terribly invested in anyway. This book is not bad, strictly speaking, but I was mad about it. So let's briefly talk Tower of Dawn.

Hey, so I'm about to SPOIL THIS BOOK below the cut. This is your SPOILER WARNING.

The three plot relevant things are as follows:

Maeve is a goddamn VALG QUEEN

Nesryn managed to succeed in recruiting a bunch of absolutely-not-Tolkien-Eagles to the war and Chaol and Yrene solidified an alliance with Antica

Apparently a magically gifted healer can exorcise Valg demons and princesses from people.

All of which are good to know and substantially affect the overarching narrative and the shape of the war. Maeve being a goddamn Valg queen in particular is big...but mostly because Aelin is EXTRA SCREWED given that she's currently in Maeve's hands. The extra armed forces and the fact that Valg possession can be undone are also great to know and will absolutely be important...in the next dang book.

So...as for the rest of this book. We have basically two couples we follow: Chaol and Yrene as well as Nesryn and Sartaq. So let's just take them in order.

Chaol and Yrene

Ok guys, I LIKE medicalish stories. And I LIKE angst. This had stuff that I generally would have enjoyed, but...I just didn't care? Like I'm glad Chaol had his come-to-Jesus with his self-loathing and trauma--lord knows he needed to--but I did not care. He has been on this boat since book 3, and while he probably DID actually need a book to deal with his shit, but it took the overall series pacing and rand it directly into the ground at a point where as a reader, I was actively resentful of the digression.

There is every possibility that I would enjoy this WAY more had I not been chomping at the bit to get back to Aelin. But the journey that Chaol and Yrene go on is...honestly one I've read before. PLUS, I'm not sure I love the whole "fall in love with your healer" storyline. Medical ethics and medical power dynamics are fraught on a good day, and like...that's the LAST situation you want to bring sex into. And for all Yrene's insistence that she can and will remain professional...sorry hon, but from MINUTE ONE with Chaol, there was no professionalism. We just kind of moved through one kind of unprofessional behavior to another. And as a professional, Yrene should have KNOWN BETTER than to use Chaol as a teachable moment without his permission. If I were the Healer on High watching that shit, I'd have pulled Yrene up on that. Expeditiously.

But instead the Healer on High is just like, "She means well." Which...for crying out loud. Come on.

AND ANOTHER THING: I'm fine with the loophole to keep Chaol alive at the end of the book. There is even something romantic about the two of them being basically one and Yrene willing to pay any price to keep him alive. We also get some nice growth from Chaol about living with a disability. All that said, though? The "if one of you dies, the other one dies" thing is JUST BARELY less stupid than Feysand's death pact from A Court of Silver Flames. Like the sheer lack of agency involved is its only saving grace, because if they'd WILLINGLY CHOSEN THIS I'd have been so done.

Nesryn and Sartaq

I...don't really have anything to say about this one. Nesryn breaks up with Chaol via text, and honestly good for her because she deserves better. Sartaq is fine. I had zero emotional investment in these two. Again, your mileage may vary, I just didn't connect with Nesryn, and while I'm happy she has a better boyfriend and her family is safe, I had no other emotional connection to them. There wasn't even anything ethically dubious to be mad about like with Chaol and Yrene.

The pacing and technical construction of the relationship was competent and fine, and if you're a Nesryn stan, you would likely really enjoy this. It just...wasn't for me at this point.

Other Stuff

So... this book. This book does that "generic foreign" thing with Antica where a metric ton of Asian and desert cultures are imported wholesale and flattened into one "generically Asian desert" culture and...yikes. Like, the backstory is basically just Genghis Khan and the Mongols, there were Tibetan influences, Egyptian influences, and some stuff that even felt vaguely Moroccan. Like...we just took a bunch of cultures and mashed them up and flattened them. It's not great, and it really doesn't feel respectful in terms of cultural detail use. It does feel like SJM went "ooh, these feel unusual and foreign, so I'm dropping them into this book!" Which... *baps her with a rolled up newspaper*

Chaol's injury and recovery was handled...better than I expected. There is real growth and the move from self-loathing to self-acceptance is done fine. I particularly liked that Shen was there, and that Chaol had a little moment of internalized ableism and Shen called it out. It went objectively too quickly, but the peer support that Chaol accepts after realizing that Shen uses a prosthetic arm felt on point and better done than I would have expected.

SJM does kind of...have her cake and eat it too as far as "kill or cure" goes, because Yrene does heal his broken back, he walks again. But then the Valg princess breaks it again, he literally dies, and then comes back with some level of physical impairment. Which...y'all...it was fine as a dramatic climax, but way to cover all three possible options in about as many pages to avoid anyone yelling about how this was wrapped up. I could go into this more, but I'm not that invested in this book and this character. She did all the things and ended it with a wedding. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay...

Now if y'all would excuse me, I'm going to go inhale Kingdom of Ash, because I'm not done being mad about the Empire of Storms cliffhanger.

[airlock]

well! that's all the jellyfish couldn't swim. might as well write my thoughts on the finale down here from the top of it. maybe sometime in not very long I'll see what the thing looks like watched all at once, the way I usually do this

so first of all: I went in without raising my expectations for yuri too high, so I'm not burned as hard about that as folks largely seem to be. that said, I did go in with a lot of other expectations, and came out underwhelmed

the escalator scene was cute, and I did really want to see mahiru and kano back to being cute and physically affectionate with each other -- but god, what a weird way to build up to the resolution, and what a weak resolution. they really couldn't have had one conversation until after the big show? mahiru couldn't even tell the gang herself about the performance arrangement? and did they really not have more to say to each other than "oops I said something thoughtless" "whoops I may have done a few inconsiderate things" "[in sync] BUT MOVING ON--". like, on the one hand this is totally how some conflicts I've had in real life ended up, but on the other hand, this conflict was gnawing at the core of the plot for three episodes, and spoke to the central character motivations of both characters involved; how was the conclusion of it not supposed to be the main event today?

I guess that's where I really set myself up, because I'd spent the whole week dreaming up what a good resolution would've looked like, what sort of stirring words would've been exchanged then. maybe I'll just have to write that myself sometime.

and speaking of conflicts that were just glided over! I didn't want to believe that the Yukine situation was headed to the old "forgive and forget because they're family" scrapyard, but I guess that's also where I totally set myself up. I'd been waiting for things with Yukine and Mahiru to sour even a little; I'd been waiting for Kano to actually really find her way outside her shadow; and most of all, I'd been waiting to find out about the last depths of her character. and today, for a ghost of a moment, I thought they might actually have Kano choke off a show in front of her, see what something like that would bring her to do. but nope! the gig goes smoothly and all is forgiven. kano ugly-cries at just being called her damn name by her mother, like we're supposed to find that touching. turns out Yukine's just reeeaaaal all-business-like, y'see, and there was nothing deeper than that to when she tossed her daughter to the fucking wolves. remember when this show was good at organically developed drama?

(and while we're at it, anyone find it super weird that Mero just gets to have a "look up at the motivating sight" moment with Kano? out of nowhere? like I'm not strictly opposed to it happening at all, but maybe it should not have been the second thing to be said or thought between them since The Punchening.)

all of it coalesces into the culmination of what'd been really bugging me for much of the back half of the show: weird pacing. things getting glided over that could've been whole episodes, missing chunks, and just the general sense that we went from a superproduction straight into a rushed mess. I wonder what happened in the back end. I wonder if this would've gone better, or just been more of the same, if this weren't a 12-episode standaloner.

at least Kano did finally find a reason to sing that doesn't completely revolve around one person! it was a bit cheesy, but it was one of her matters getting a good, satisfying conclusion. more than can be said for Mahiru, unfortunately.

I guesd that's the other thing I'd been expecting of this chapter that didn't pan out. ep9 centered on Kano; ep10 centered on Mei; ep11 centered on Kiui. but ep12 had like one really good Mahiru scene (the negotiation at the beginning) and that was it for her. not a great comeback for our out-of-focus protagonist! she delivered the final jellyfish speech that I'm sure we all knew was coming, but it felt totally unearned. wish you could've really shined on your own today, sweet jelly

Mei and Kiui got very good slices of epilogue for themselves, at least. Mei gets to be the inspiration she once needed! Kiui wasn't going to have much new to do, but she's already starting to put her dreams into practice!! those two I could walk out happy for, at least!

the graduations and the new mural painting scenes were cute, but they really just kind of happened, despite how much more of the episode they took up; again, weird pacing. and y'know, for how inportant the bonds between those four had become, I wish they'd had more to carry into the future than "maybe we'll still hang out sometimes". still, I suppose I would've been less sour on all of that if this hadn't had to be the episode that so much else was riding on, and crashed down upon. I guess that's also something I'd noticed earlier about this half of the show: the downtime scenes are ending up sort of carrying the emotional core where the main plot keeps letting it down.

oh well! much as all the unmet expectations hurt, and much as I'm not going to be able to say that yorukura actually surpassed a lot of my existing favourite anime, it's been a fun ride up to here. and I'll be carrying the better moments of it forward in my heart

[welcometothejianghu]

I can't actually recommend Psych-Hunter, as it's not, strictly speaking, what you'd call good. It has, however, made us laugh out loud several times, and a lot of the visuals are really clever, and it's got to know what it's doing with how gay it's making those main boys (to say nothing of the police captain and that little cop who totally has a crush on him). It's weird and it's fun, and if you're looking for a thing to watch, you could do a lot worse!

NOTE: The preceding paragraph was written before I watched the last episode.

Look, this show is a hot mess. Let me break it down:

The good: some amazing visuals; excellent costuming (like, even when it's ugly, it's still good?); delightfully batshit worldbuilding decisions; fun short-arc mysteries; hella gay bromance; delicious boy tears; incredibly endearing secondary cast; great Psychonauts-esque plot device; some gorgeous mindscapes done with (mostly) practical effects; did I mention those two boys are real gay for one another?

The bad: little to no narrative cohesion; terribly bad pacing; high body count, especially of ladies; a couple inexplicable heel turns; when the CG is there, it's not great; plenty of unintentional comedy; most overarching mysteries remain completely unsolved.

The ugly: het romance that swings between just plain boring and outright skeevy; absolutely no grasp of the female lead's character; and of course, all the shit it pulls in the last episode.

...But obviously I found the whole mess still pretty compelling despite the flaws, considering I've just written like 1500 words of a Tumblr post that barely anybody else is ever going to read about it! So, uh, maybe that's an endorsement? I can't tell anymore.

Most of those words are beneath the cut, starting with the vaguely spoilery thoughts -- the ones you can read without spoiling yourself for the whole show. I'll mark when the big ones are coming up.

The good and the bad are, I think, somewhat self-explanatory. I want to talk about the ugly a bit, though.

The first two are actually two halves of the same problem. As a character, as she is written, Yuan Muqing sucks. Her entire personality is "whatever we need The Girl to be doing in this scene." She swings from Strong Independent Woman to Damsel In Distress to Spunky Female Police Officer to Spoiled Rich Schoolgirl to Giggling Love Interest with no sense that there should be any consistency between these states. Every detail of her life disappears the second it's not immediately relevant to the plot. She is a selection of two-dimensional objects chosen on a scene-by-scene basis to compliment whatever else is going on around her. I guess you could excuse this by [insert spoilers for the last episode here], but for that to work, the show would have to give off any sense that it understood her characterization was bad in the first place.

Whatever they could have done with the het romance was pretty doomed to fail from the start by having her be so badly written. (There are a few very cute moments they have later on, when they write her like an actual person, but it's too little too late.) She and Jiang Shuo already have little to no actual chemistry together, and the majority of their relationship is artificial overreaction-and-miscommunication conflict. And as though that weren't bad enough, the show keeps making it skeevy by making her so young. She's a high school student who has a very little-girl room, complete with dolls she talks to and petulantly punishes when she has tantrums. Many of her hairstyles and outfits also run young. Nobody gets a canonical age, but she's clearly a teen while both boys seem well into their twenties. The age gap does the relationship no favors.

Worse, the romance largely nukes her relationship to Qin Yiheng. When the show starts, they at least interact with one another, even if it looks like the show's going to get a "girl can't decide which boy she likes!" dynamic going with the main trio. Very quickly, though, she needs to be only The Love Interest for Jiang Shuo, meaning that she barely talks to Qin Yiheng for the whole rest of the show. Even when all three are onscreen together, those two might as well each be invisible to the other. They're not really a triangle -- they're a hinge, and the non-Jiang-Shuo points don't touch.

All that being said, there is such potential in her, and like 95% of that potential comes from the fact that the girl is obviously insane. Beyond even her canonical delusions, That Girl Ain't Right. Everything she does is so much better if you imagine there's a full-on roomba with knives simmering just beneath her bippy, ponytailed surface. She has to be Generalissimo Daddy's good little girl, when deep down she wants to do violence. That's great.

Some of the early promo materials I've seen make mention of how she's supposed to be the muscle of the operation. I wish they'd been far more consistent about that! She should absolutely be the party tank, bounding away from danger with a boy under each arm. All of the "oh no, Muqing got kidnapped/held hostage/threatened!" beats should have been responded to with a shrug.

But of course, it doesn't matter, because...

****MAJOR SPOILERS START HERE****

...it's not real.

Nearly none of it is real. There are two real people in the show, and everyone else is imaginary. Everything Jiang Shuo feels about her is completely one-sided, because she doesn't exist.

I am not categorically opposed to the final plot twist. I actually think, thematically, it makes a fair amount of sense, given how many other dreamscapes and mind-dives we've seen. What I'm opposed to is having it drop in the final episode, when there's no time to deal emotionally with any of it. If you wanted to pull that Inception shit, you should've done it at least halfway through the series. Give poor Jiang Shuo multiple episodes to deal with the truths that a) everyone he loves (minus one person) is a figment of his imagination, b) he is ultimately the one responsible for the horrors he has created, and c) he will have to decide in the end whether to live in the delusion or to destroy it by leaving. Let him wrestle with what he knows vs. what he feels. Give him plenty of time to deal with his guilt about what he's done to Qin'er. That would be delicious. That's not what we got.

Also, you've got to telegraph it, like, at all. As it is, I wondered for a while there whether something weird/bad happened, the real last episode got destroyed, and they had to hastily film an alternate ending. I am all but certain, on reflection, this is not what happened. There are just enough clues planted earlier that, yeah, I'm pretty sure this was the end they meant all along.

Which was such a bad decision. You know all those mysteries you were interested in, the ones driving the plot? Congratulations! You're never going to know! And it's not because the show got canceled or otherwise truncated -- no, it's because the show decided to tell you outright that those mysteries were never meant to be solved. It's a riddle that never had an answer in the first place.

I said at the time that the end feels exactly like an anime that got too far ahead of the manga, ran out of source material, and had to cobble together an ending that wouldn't spoil the manga's eventual logical conclusion. That's not quite what happened, but it's exactly the vibe.

(Not to get too spoilery of other properties here, but yeah, you realize this was the same guy who made Sand Sea, and that actually makes a lot of sense. Speaking of things that ran out the source material...)

My instinct is to tell people not to watch the last episode, to just stop at the end of 35 and make up your own stories about what comes next, but ... you kind of have to see it to believe it. It's worth it for the sheer audacity that would consider this a good ending.

I've seen plenty of people on various sites saying they loved the ending while clamoring in the same breath for a second season. No, friends, you're having the same reaction I did -- you know a twist like that should not be a last-minute drop. It's not a setup for anything; it's what happens when you can't stick the landing, so you throw out a bunch of impressive-sounding nonsense while pretending that was what you'd meant to do all along. A second season wouldn't solve the mysteries, because the show has declared that not only won't they be solved, they weren't even mysteries in the first place. They were fancy shiny meaningless things that made the plot go, and you were stupid for being invested in them.

And by "mysteries" here, I mean the actual things that are being held up as mysterious and in need of a solution, like Liu Zhi's identity and the Yin River treasures and what happened to Papa Qin. I don't mean the things like wtf is going on with Moustache Dad and his weird semi-k*kistan flag -- because those are just fun bits of magical realism worldbuilding. Clearly this is all operating in some urban fantasy next-world-over scenario, where we're in, uhhh, Zhanghai, Zhina. It's real-world enough that we still have the British and the Japanese, but fake enough that whatever was going on with that hypnotism clock and the lake monster skeleton? Totally normal.

I guess that's part of what I find so frustrating, that it made such an interesting world to play around in ... and then took the cop-out "it was all a dream!" explanation. All the trauma and deaths you felt sad about? Irrelevant. All the friends in danger? Who cares! All the stakes you thought mattered? Meaningless. What, you want new stakes to care about? Well, we'd love to, but the last episode's ending. Bye!

Anyway! Frustrating but compelling! I have now burned so many more brain cells on this show than it deserves, and I will probably continue burning more for fanfic purposes. If you made it this far into this nonsense -- both the show and this post -- I salute you.

[monocytogenes]

Done!

I've seen folks on Reddit do story rankings, so here's mine (spoilers obv):

IMPERIAL AGENT MY BELOVED. This story really hit that sweet spot of "complex moral landscape where you have to make difficult decisions" for me, and was one (along with trooper) where I could tell that Bioware understands politics and bureaucracy delightfully well. I know a game like this is good when I have to sit back and think for a minute about what choice my character would make at a pivotal moment, and I absolutely had to do that at the end of Chapter 1. I also normally hate mind control stuff as a plot device, but they handled it very well (and traumatically)--killing Kothe, and later Hunter, was such delicious catharsis. I also still hold that the Minister was probably the most realistic-feeling authority figure to me out of any such person in the class stories, and I also have deep affection for Shara and Vector. I wanted so much more of all of them, haha. Just a great experience all around.

Sith Warrior. Also a story where I was given a surprisingly great range of options in terms of ethical decision-making, and while the plot was more of a straightforward heroic journey, the characters really made it for me. I loved Vette, Quinn (despite the clumsy writing; having a romance where the usual gendered power dynamics were reversed was fantastic) and Pierce in particular, and I loved getting to play a morally gray patriot and how the game supported me in that. (For instance, the moment where my chick let Yonlach face death on his own terms and knelt in respect to his corpse just. Beautiful. Chef's kiss.) It was also probably my favorite in terms of the actual combat mechanics; I've played as a Marauder and a Jugg, and both are just such fun.

Trooper. SPEAKING OF COMPLEX MORAL LANDSCAPES. From the start, running around on Ord Mantell and encountering everything from war profiteering to mistreatment of prisoners to child soldiers, I knew I was in for a time. Like, this is insane, but my single favorite thing in this storyline was Jorgan's personal quest and how he went through the five stages of institutional disillusionment afterward. I loved Bioware's willingness to portray the Republic as a flawed state with bureaucratic infighting and active discrimination (e.g. poor Elara's defection story)--but still clearly not as bad as the 'has state-sponsored slavery' and 'is an oligarchy run by maniacs' Empire. I didn't get super attached to my own OC, but I am intending to run the expansion content with him just because I liked his dynamics with Jorgan and the authorities so much.

Jedi Consular. I know this is one of those stories people love to hate, and I wouldn't say it was the strongest for me, but I liked it! The politics of it were fun for me, and I got pretty attached to Yuon, thought Qyzen's whole cultural background was cool, and was frankly super disappointed I couldn't romance "ethically questionable guy with an assload of PTSD" Zenith. My main complaint was that my range of choices didn't seem as nuanced as some of the other characters--a lot of options were strictly "good guy" vs. "bloodthirsty maniac". I also did like the play style quite a bit--the glass cannon dynamic was pretty satisfying.

Smuggler: This was actually the first storyline I played, and it was alright. I felt the whole hunt for Skavak was really strong, and I liked the twist with Darmas, but the latter half of the story kind of dragged. Also felt like the romances really strongarmed you--I played a guy who ended up kissing Risha simply because I picked nice dialogue options with her, and I've heard that Corso's flirtations are kind of obnoxious on a female smugg. Overall, though, I loved the criminal underworld stuff, the quippy lines, the varying degrees of unethical I was permitted to be, and the combat style (I did gunslinger, and had a great time with that!)

Sith Inquisitor: The more fantastical, force magic stuff tends not to compel me, but this story was alright, namely because it was balls-to-the-wall insane and that was kind of acknowledged in universe (like, the sheer 'this might as well happen' energy of a lot of the dialogue was pretty funny.) I did feel as though I had less leeway than on Warrior to occupy a nuanced moral space; it felt like the writing was really encouraging me to be a scenery-chewing sadist, which I didn't care for as much. The companions were alright; I thought Andronikos was cool, and Ashara seemed a better-handled Jaesa (albeit one I didn't romance on a male inq because she coded really young to me and it creeped me out.) So yeah, just. Firmly 'okay.'

Bounty Hunter: I'm not sure why I didn't care for this story--I love the crime stuff in Star Wars, I could make questionable decisions, there were some politics involved--all of that was there. I think it just didn't have an emotional core for me. With Smuggler we were really off to the races on a vengeance quest when my ship got stolen; with Consular i got attached to Yuon and was motivated to help her; with Bounty Hunter Jory and Braden got killed before their deaths could really mean much to me and poor Mako (unlike Corso) seemed pretty unequipped to deal with the challenges we were going through. I did like Torian and got attached to him--the whole situation with his dad was feels--but yeah, I just felt unmotivated through much of it. It was disappointing too to get strongarmed into accepting Gault as a companion, as I really liked him in the expansion content; it just was one of those situations where I couldn't fathom why my character would let such a liability onto her ship.

Jedi Knight: I can tell this story was supposed to really be the main event of the game, but honestly? If the agent story was cake, this was white bread. If Agent was a published novel, this was wattpad fanfic. I was actively bored. As previously mentioned, I'm not super into the fantastical force magic stuff that much in general, and most of this story was that--the rest of it felt like sweeping up after the Republic's bullshit decisions without much political context (who the hell thought these superweapons were a good idea, anyway?) Like Consular, I felt like I had little nuance available to me in my choices, and many of the characters either straight up didn't feel like actual people or it seemed like I didn't have much time to get to know them (like, I was genuinely interested in Rusk's trauma and mindset and felt like I had little opportunity to explore that with him.) I got slightly attached to Orgus as a mentor figure, and then--well, we know what happened to him. I played a Shadow and was frankly glad I did because stealthing made it easier to get through the story quicker. Sigh.

[m34gs]

If you could pick one animated Disney villain to twist and put into Twisted Wonderland (that doesn't already exist in game) who would you pick, why, and tell a bit about their character.

ooooh this is a fun ask!!! Thank you, friend!

I took some time to think about it, and I narrowed my choices down from Disney's giant list of villains to three, and from there I had to do like a mini-showdown in my brain to decide which one I wanted.

The direction that I took with this was to add an extra dorm; rather than go the 'staff member' route...I thought it would be more fun and impactful to the storyline if there was another dorm :D

The one who won the 'mini-showdown' and is the one I would pick to Twist and have in Twisted Wonderland was:

Yzma, from The Emperor's New Groove! (Naturally, being that this will be a dorm, Yzma will have Kronk as Vice Housewarden!) I think Yzma is an interesting character and that there is more to her than you think about in an initial watch-through of the movie. I also would love a dorm based on Peruvian culture and scenery!

So let's talk about Yzma:

She's smart; that much is obvious, with her potions and the fact that she actually managed a great deal of Kuzko's duties prior to her taking the throne.

She's dramatic; I mean honestly, with the entrance to her lab? The multiple levers and the crocodiles and the whole plot she makes up to get rid of Kuzko (recall, initially she wanted to turn him into a bug, and put him in a box, and put that box into a bigger box and mail it to herself, and then when it arrived: SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!)

However, she is also practical as she ditches that initial plan and settles on simply poisoning the emperor. You know, to save on postage.

She's very dependent on Kronk, and I don't think she even realizes how much until she's in the jungle covered in muck and has to rely on him to speak to a squirrel.

She is ruthless when she wants something. She has absolutely no problem stating what she wants and then taking it. As evidenced by: she tried to kill the Emperor to take the throne. And how she gives orders to Kronk when they're in the restaurant, about how she wants her food done.

Now, if we were to twist her, and make a male version (young enough to attend school), and give him a storyline, I think it would sound something like this:

In the movie, part of Yzma's motivation for getting rid of Kuzko isn't strictly "I want the throne", but rather "I have been taking care of this young man since birth and I have been assisting him with ruling, and he not only never recognizes my efforts but constantly orders me about without actually thinking about anyone or anything other than himself" so let's mirror that. Twisted Yzma could be an older sibling who has been taking care of the younger ones his entire life...but no one recognizes his efforts and the younger kiddos got all the attention and praise, even when it was Yzma working behind the scenes to make things happen.

Now, you may be thinking "Isn't that what happened with Jamil?" No, no. Jamil was never allowed to shine or stand out because it would make Kalim look more amazing if he didn't. What I'm thinking for Yzma is: he tries. He tries to stand out, but he gets accused of stealing the spotlight. He tries to help, but then no one acknowledges him at all, especially not the younger sibling everyone dotes on, as that sibling has been taught that he is better than Yzma and that it is Yzma's *job* to take care of him, so no thanks is required.

Yzma comes to Night Raven College with a desire to prove himself. He ends up in the same dorm as Kronk, and Kronk is the first one to value Yzma as he is and be enthralled by his knowledge. This allows him to somehow worm his way into Yzma's heart.

Yzma would work hard to become the Dorm leader...and he would be so proud when he becomes one. But no one back home would really acknowledge it, too focused on his younger brother. This is a good set up for tension.

As time goes on, it only gets worse. Perfect grades on written exams. Perfect scores in flight classes. Perfect potions. Exceptionally perfect potions (I think Yzma would be one of Crewel's faves). Perfect record of attendance. One of the most respected dorms on campus. Also, I think his dorm would be very into theatrics and have a lot of successful theatre students (because as I said; Yzma is Dramatic) and put on fantastic shows (that Yzma's family never comes to)

None of it gets really recognized, but it's always "Kuzko did this" or "Kuzko learned that", and Yzma gets more and more sick of it.

Suddenly? There's this magic-less prefect? That everyone seems to love? Who is getting through a magic school on essentially a 'free ride'??? Who is going to classes and taking tests and is actually passing and the student body is more interested in them than they are in Yzma????

I think as Yuu works their way into the hearts of the other dorms, Yzma would become more and more annoyed. Perhaps, when it comes to be Yzma's dorm's turn; what happens might be that they are putting on a play. Anyone can audition. Grim wants to be a part of it, and in his antics, wrecks some props during auditions. This is a Cardinal Sin. Never touch someone else's prop. He and Yuu get assigned tech duties to help work on replacing props and assist with the behind-the-scenes work of the play.

I think what it would eventually take is for Yzma's own dorm to be warming up to Yuu and Grim, in order for Yzma to overblot. Perhaps the final straw is Kronk's character commenting that Yzma is being a bit hard on Yuu, and it's just so familiar to what he's heard growing up alongside his younger brother that he just. Snaps.

Ehehe, I may have gone a bit overboard with my ideas there...lol. But I had a lot of fun answering this and I really do think Yzma could be fun added in as a student!

Hope you enjoyed this answer! Thank you so much for asking, this was a lot of fun!

[infiniteglitterfall]

"just imagine"

Here's why some version of this is 1000% going to happen.

My mom wouldn't let us watch the Simpsons when it first came out.

She believed the news reports that said it was... what? Juvenile delinquents, dysfunctional, violent, not for kids, a bad influence, inappropriate somehow?

(None of which is strictly untrue, except the bad influence part. It was on prime time because it wasn't made for kids. Which doesn't mean kids can't watch and enjoy it, just that they're not the target audience. I was 11, my brother was 8; I think that's old enough for the Simpsons, for most kids, but I live in much more jaded times.)

Eventually we wore her down by... putting it on when she wasn't watching, after the brouhaha about it had died down, I think. And probably not during its first year. I was a goody two-shoes like that. It might also have just been because we got a new TV at some point and he managed to claim the old one for his room. Where absolutely no one was watching what we watched. (On the seven network stations we had access to.)

After that, I watched it every week growing up. I watched it every week with friends during college. I watched it 4, count 'em 4, times a day in my 20s, because some station graciously offered THAT MANY RERUNS.

They tried to reduce it to 2 reruns at some point. I literally emailed them to complain.

When I was 29, I saw the Simpsons Movie in the theater with my siblings. I swear to god I had a spiritual experience. It was this deeply emotional experience of watching a movie about a family that I'd grown up with, that was dysfunctional like mine (even if it was in a different way than mine), at a point where I'd done tons of work on recognizing how it had harmed me and on healing from it. This movie that openly admitted that Homer was abusive, that his abuse and neglect was hurting Bart in particular.

It was transcendent just to see them make it explicit that this was not just cartoon violence, that this was painful and his pain was valid. It was a reach, but a cathartic one, for them to give Homer a quest to be just one notch less self-centered, to have just one moment of amends and redemption with Bart.

I felt like it was an apology to my entire generation for what the previous one had put us through.

I know, that's gonna sound overblown to some people. But this is the Simpsons. It's all about inflating our memes and actions and experiences, and showing them back to us, big enough to recognize and maybe laugh at for a second.

Eventually, everyone I knew who watched the Simpsons that much kinda moved on. We didn't quote it quite as much, and we definitely didn't watch the new episodes. For me, it jumped the shark at some point - I can't even remember what the plot point was.

I had a dream, a few years ago, that I'd decided I wouldn't be able to watch it anymore if it didn't take some season finale cliffhanger - an actual nuclear explosion, I think - seriously, and start the new season in a world where actions had real, lasting consequences. Start it in the aftermath of a nuclear explosion. I waited through the whole dream to see what they'd do.

When I woke up, I remembered that I'd already gone through this process in real life.

AND YET, I started playing The Simpsons: Tapped Out when it came out in 2013. And so did my friends. Two of them still do. I still do. But I eventually cut back to just playing every Halloween event.

(Their Halloween music speaks directly to my soul. They didn't use it in 2018 and I about lost my shit. Then I couldn't get the app to work for a couple of years. Not even kidding, I came back to it AGAIN in 2023 and managed to log in and hear that sweet sweet spooky tune, and I ran around telling everyone. Nobody cared, they were all like, "Oh, I don't remember that. Oh, I play with my volume off." who even are you people)

And when Fox FX FXX? put all the episodes on an app and did a Thanksgiving marathon in 2016, I got live-texted throughout it by a friend who never texts.

I watched what I could of it in a hotel room on the way back from Oregon, where my partner and I were trying to get him pregnant. (A bi longtime friend and his bi wife offered us the uh raw materials we needed.)

Somehow, despite all this, I sort of thought it had dropped out of the zeitgeist.

That although the Simpsons stubbornly kept creating more seasons, people probably didn't really watch it the same way. That "kids these days" surely wouldn't make and get the same references, much less have new ones.

Tumblr slowly taught me I was wrong.

Now I have a six-year-old. I think he's too tender, probably, to watch a whole Simpsons episode. Probably depends which one.

But he's already completely familiar with the characters and some of the clips, because he watches a lot of YouTube shorts.

Looking back, my entire life has been shaped by the Simpsons.

In many ways, it feels like it's already canon that future people will study and repeat and perform it like it's Shakespeare.

Partly because of Mr. Burns.

Not the character. The play.

Mr. Burns

A Post-Electric Play

I saw this in 2015, with three other friends who'd been saturated with the Simpsons. Including my now-co-parent, and the friend who later live-texted me that marathon.

It presents life in a post-apocalyptic society where the only real vestige of pre-apocalypse media is people's memories of the Simpsons.

When you meet others traveling or foraging, you trade what scenes or episodes you've memorized. As society slowly rebuilds, people form theater troupes, performing episodes as live theater. Cape Feare, the one where Bart gets Sideshow Bob to perform all of Pirates of Penzance to delay killing him, is the central recurring one.

They don't know what caused the apocalypse. Only that electricity is no longer available anywhere. The power is just out, possibly forever.

75 years later, there's still no power, but culture is widely available again. The Cape Feare episode is being performed as a live musical.

Through decades of debate about misremembered lines, filtered through massive societal trauma, it has nearly become a Greek epic. Mr. Burns has morphed with Sideshow Bob into a supernatural avatar of death and destruction.

It begins with Mr. Burns destroying Springfield by sabotaging the nuclear power plant.

The Simpsons flee onto a houseboat, where Mr. Burns and his demonic henchmen, Itchy & Scratchy, kill them one by one.

Bart is the last survivor left. He almost gives up in despair, but the ghosts of his family appear to cheer him on. He duels Burns to the death in a swordfight.

It ends with Bart singing about hope for the future.

And the stage lights up with bicycle-powered electric floodlights.

In other words: this is canon.

The Simpsons has already scored itself so deep into our bones that we cannot not build a future made from its constantly-renewing parts.

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[denimbex1986]

'Like a lot of people, I was fairly chilly on Christopher Nolan's "Tenet" at first. There was stuff I liked, for sure, but the whole thing was a little too Nolan-y for my tastes. Upon rewatching it, however, I found myself warming up to it. It's a vibes film about beautiful people in impeccably tailored outfits trotting around the world, but with an idiosyncratic touch that makes it less accessible than the James Bond and "Mission: Impossible" films. A lot of that is to do with the actual plot, which involves time inversion (a sci-fi notion best described as not not time travel) and a race to stop a doomsday weapon from destroying the world.

A doomsday weapon, albeit one that actually exists, is also at the heart of Nolan's latest film, "Oppenheimer." In fact, it was "Tenet" star Robert Pattinson who planted the idea of making a biopic about the so-called "Father of the Atomic Bomb" in Nolan's head to begin with. As Nolan recounted in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Pattinson had given him a series of Oppenheimer's real-life speeches as a wrap gift upon completing production on "Tenet," having recognized the parallels between Nolan's sci-fi thriller and the creation of the A-bomb. This, in turn, got the wheels spinning in Nolan's head, as he recognized the cinematic potential in a film that explores this crucial historical event from Oppenheimer's point of view. (Planting an idea in someone's head that leads to something much bigger? Hey, someone should make a film about that!)

The actual reality of the story

The thing that makes "Tenet" so re-watchable is that it's fiction. A story about nihilistic individuals trying to start a nuclear holocaust using a device called the "Algorithm" (a term that's only gotten more loaded since the film came out) would be extremely unsettling if it had any basis in reality. That's also why Nolan has described "Oppenheimer" as having an element of horror to it, seeing as it deals with a real doomsday weapon invented by real people, not a convoluted MacGuffin devised by over-the-top antagonists (à la Kenneth Branagh's scenery-devouring performance as the Russian oligarch villain in "Tenet"). As Nolan explained to THR:

"When you read the words of people speaking at that time, you see them wrestling with the implications and the consequences of what's happened and what they've done. I started to get very excited about, rather than using it as an analogy in a science fiction sense, telling the actual reality of the story, really trying to be there, to give people the experience of what it would have been like to be Oppenheimer in those moments."

Nolan's quest to better understand J. Robert Oppenheimer the man would lead to him using Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin's 2005 biography, "American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer," as the basis for his film, building off the speeches Pattinson gifted him. It's also why Nolan wrote his "Oppenheimer" script in the first person, so as to emphasize that we're seeing most of this story strictly through Oppenheimer's eyes, as opposed to a more objective perspective. His approach seems to have worked, too, with critics heralding Nolan's film as one of this year's best...Good job, R-Patz!'

[cmyknoise]

I don’t think that this is over yet. The discs are only surface level on the Dream vs. Tommy scenario, however it is a good step. It may not do much in way of Dream and what power he actually holds over Tommy, but for Tommy it IS one less thing  that he has to worry about. 

For Tommy, to him, it means Dream doesn’t have power over him in that aspect of his life, or at least not as much, which ultimately gives him more freedom and confidence. 

Not to mention, he finally got to vent about exile, which in his own words he said it felt nice to speak about what had happened. This is the start of him slowly accepting things and being able to move on. 

This isn’t the end, but rather the beginning of the end. 

Wilbur was wrong about some things, about Dream losing all power over Tommy because of the discs, but he was right about others. Dream was watching Tommy the whole time, to him that disc thing was real, which also means to him he wasn’t bluffing about the threats on his own life. 

Wilbur is just as important to Dream in this stage, because Wilbur is something Dream can hold over Tommy, but that’s not something he can easily do. Dream also is losing things he can hold over Tommy. 

All he has left are people, which isn’t something he can easily do, especially when he’s so heavily watched and hunted. 

But Wilbur was also right about things, about Tommy and healthily coping, about trying to turn the tables. 

He is mad, and I don’t think he’s done with Dream either. If his brief daydream about killing him over and over again, I very much doubt that this will satisfy that, but... it looks like he at least has a new goal. 

Previously, it was to take himself out of the picture to make people’s lives better... but now it seems like it will be to take Dream out of the picture, or do his damnest to do so. 

His plans aren’t perfect, they never have been, but it’s more than what some are willing to do. 

There’s still plenty of things for c!Wilbur to do, whether he’s now scrapped all previous plans, or altered them. There’s also still way more for c!Tommy to do. 

This isn’t the end of Dream or the end of the Dream and Tommy conflict, but it’s the start of it. 

On a meta note, this stream wasn’t perfect, but it was never going to be. Us as a fandom has had such high expectations on what the perfect scenario would be, but it will and has never been the perfect scenario, and that is what makes it complicated and interesting. None of the characters are strictly good or bad, they make terrible decisions for the right reasons, they make good decisions for the wrong ones. 

c!Wilbur could’ve done a million and one things in that situation, but he made his decision for a reason, and it will lead to what happens next. Just like how c!Fundy could’ve just walked away, the stream could’ve ended, he could’ve ender pearled stasised away, but he did what he did so the story would go how it needed to next. 

You can argue semantics on what could cause trama or what impacted who, but clearly cc!Tommy and cc!Wilbur have plans and they’re both working on what they want to do and what they want to happen. How deep this affects c!Tommy is up to them and them alone, whether he forgives Wilbur or not is up to him. 

But this was literally done for a reason and it’s so they can move onto the next phases of the plan so they can wrap up their characters in a meaningful way, in the larger ways that matter. Sometimes, as nice as the finer details are, it is unrealistic to be able to have everything end perfectly and in place. 

This was a subjectively good stream, and good for their characters, and good for the plot, and is going to lead to some very, very interesting things. I for one, am excited. 

Oh yeah.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SUCK IT GREEN BOYYYY

[lillxart]

An Orc named Primrose, made her when I was 12. I wasn't making Skyrim ocs then so I never bothered to bring her into my universe. But maybe I will now? Who knows.

At first it was Ralof because as a lil' 12 year old I had never played an open world game like Skyrim before (I had only played story driven linear games or COD) so I was scared and very much alone. Since Ralof was the first one I saw in game I latched onto him.

Once I realized I could break narrative I did it before to make things easier. Now I just do it on and off when I feel like it since I have different ways of enjoying the game depending on playthrough.

We love our old men and Paartysnax. Seriously, I do love the whole concept of the Greybeards and I wish we could've done more training and stuff with them in game. I especially wanted more dialogue with GILF Paarthurnax since having a dragon we can actually talk to in TES universe is seriously sick as heck. And despite what I think most people believe they aren't pacifists. They just don't think using the thu'um for war and bloodshed is honoring to the Gods, and instead honoring the destructive and selfish nature of man. Yeah they don't wanna have a hand in Skyrim's politics, but does anybody want to deal with all that?

Yes and no. It's a mixed bag and depends on how I feel. When I'm not playing on PC and not using console commands to spawn in money dungeon crawling goes from "Something I do for fun" to "Something I need to do to survive" and there are times where I have to endlessly dungeon crawl for money then very slowly walk half way across the map for hours because the carriage driver is glitched and doesn't let me travel back to Riften so sell all my stolen goods for the theives guild questline--*currently doing that in AE* BUT other times I can go through tons of dungeons and not feel like that, mostly like I said though it's on PC where I can alter my carry weight XD (haven't exploited any of those enchanting glitches yet).

Probably Dragonsbridge. No LoreTM reason, I just think it's cool.

Favorite Jarl is papa Balgruuf the ballin' because of his dialogue and because as a 12 year old I latched onto any nice character because I was scared and alone XD Now as an adult I think he's objectively a good Jarl. Least favorite is Jarl Skald. He's literally just there. There's nothing special about him, nothing really unique, he's just an angry old Nord. In fact do ya'll even know who he is off the top of your head?

I liked the Dark Brotherhood Questline a lot and I wish it was longer and we had more NPC characters added in the Dawnstar Sanctuary. Maybe personal questlines we could do for the surviving members since obvi asking that for ALL the base DB assassins would be too much XD The ability to recruit would've been nice too.

The main questline. We needed more Alduin, maybe even a conversation with him, more Greybeards, and the gravity of Alduin's return needed to be more apparent. I think there needed to be just places in Skyrim that existed solely to be destroyed by the dragons. No quests, just strictly vanilla NPCS that died and buildings that got burned down because of the dragon attacks. Yeah maybe it's considered toothless and lazy to just plop in certain areas in your game that exist just for that purpose but this is Bethesda we're talking about XD so, in the end something would've been better than nothing.

I have a very love hate relationship with Miraak on Adept Mode Skyrim. It took me 12 tries to defeat him. But ignoring self imposed difficulty, my favorite villian is Miraak and my least favorite is Ancano. I wish we got more to his questline, the cultists, and more reward after defeating him. It's an amazing concept to speak to the first dragonborn, and the aesthetic of the DLC was on POINT. Ancano is my least favorite because yes of course plot twist IT WAS THE THALMOR ALL ALONG but while the COW questline is one of my favorites I will admit it's too fast XD and Ancano being a villian would've been so much better if we just had more dialogue with him or had the ability to built rapport with him over time. Like maybe in the COW questline we had an obligated fetch quest with him and by the end of it he like insults and says smth like 'I suppose you have your uses'. From that point on there are other optional quests we can do for him that are menial so we can build a better attachment. When he tries to kill us in the end maybe there's a moment where he considers sparing us for the final fight but then we continue to fight him and blah blah blah we kill the evil Thalmor. ALL THAT TO SAY, COW and Ancano not utilized, typical evil Thalmor villian, so he's my least favorite.

It's ok, like most things I wish it was better utilized. I very much enjoy getting the chance to engage in the politics of Skyrim since I find things like that fun and interesting.

Very cool bois. Wish there were more books or maybe even journals on them in game we could read. Fair mini-bosses.

No not really. In Snow White's situation at that point in her story she's been used and manipulated so much she can't enjoy finally 'saving the world' because honestly it might've been better if Alduin just ate it. She's the hero of the age, and has much more work to do before Skyrim is truly safe.

Skyrim Saturday Ask Game

hey everyone! since its saturday, i decided to throw together some skyrim asks! go wild, i can't wait to see how ppl respond to these <3

Helgen - Who was your first Skyrim character? Do you still make anything with them/play as them now?

Riverwood - Hadvar or Ralof? Why?

Whiterun - Do you tend to do Bleak Falls Barrow before or after meeting with Farengar?

Ivarstead - How do you feel about the Greybeards and Paarthurnax?

Morthal - Do you enjoy exploring dungeons and ruins? Why or why not?

Kynesgrove - What's your favorite non-major city/town/settlement?

Solitude - Who's your favorite Jarl? Who's your least favorite? Why these?

Riften - What's your favorite guild? How do you feel about their questline?

Markarth - If you could rewrite one questline in Skyrim, which would it be?

Blackreach - What's your favorite enemy in the game? What's your least favorite? Why?

Throat of the World - How do you feel about "Season Unending"?

Skuldafn - How do you feel about dragon priests?

Sovngarde - How would your Last Dragonborn celebrate after the battle with Alduin, or would they celebrate at all?

[absolutebl]

Top 10 BLs without an HEA still worth watching & the 3 that will wreck you

I came to BL via the Thai oeuvre and as such I initially thought one of BL’s defining features was a guaranteed “happy ever after,” like modern day romance novels. It remains one of the things I personally look for and rate highly in BL. But it actually isn’t a requirement of the genre. 

There are a few offerings out there that even HEA obsessed self, still thinks are satisfying and worth watching, even though they don’t include a strictly happy ending. 

Top 10 Non HEA BLs

1. Ingredients the series (Thailand) - the characters end up a couple but apart, since one of them is going away to pursue his dreams, it’s understood (but not depicted) that they will eventually be reunited. 

2. Addicted Heroin (China) - the show was censored mid run so it remains unfinished. If you stop watching after the main sex scene in the final episode it makes for a pretty solid HFN ending. If you don’t stop, it just sets up the next plot point that never happened. 

3. 2 Moons 2 (Thailand) - is kind of a must watch for Thai BL because the original source material is one of the most popular BL novels in Thailand and is responsible for many Thai BL tropes (like pink milk and sharing an umbrella). The main couple PhaYo is the least interesting. They get together, only to then end on a cliff hanger, which is why 2M2 is on this list. However, no one watches for PhaYo. We all watch for ForthBeam and MingKit and both of these side couples get HEAs. 

4. Gen Y the series (Thailand) - a bloated drunken mess of a show but the main couple MarkKit is wonderful, full of super saccharine cheese while simultaneously poking fun at Thai BL tropes. It’s the opposite of 2 Moons 2 in that the main couple ends up HEA but all the side couples are left up in the air. 

5. HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan) - is a great mafia action romance, and while the main couple ends up together, they’re anticipating forced separation, so it’s HFN. The fantastic side couple ends up HEA, though. 

6. Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan) - a beautiful sweet slow burn romance between a grumpy seme who is going deaf and the loud sunshine uke who is one of the only people he can still hear. The ending is amorphous, we aren’t sure if they will get together or not.  

7. My Tee AKA Cause You’re My Boy (Thailand) - such a confusing show told partly in flashbacks but without distinguishing those flashbacks so you’re never sure exactly what's going on. The story and directing are bonkers but the characters are awkwardly endearing. The main couple ends up HFN but at medical risk. This is probably only worth watching if you are a fan of the early Thai BL high school shows (Love Sick, Make it Right) and the pulps that followed them. What’s good is that these two were given a follow up Our Skyy with an HEA.

8. My Dear Loser: Edge of 17 (Thailand) - the BL arc is for a side couple but they are a GREAT side couple. If you slogged through Puppy Honey for OffGun or Kiss Me Again for TayNew then you can do MDL17 for PluemChimon. This is one of the better high school offerings. The main couple (het) ends up HEA but our boys end up HFN. However, these characters were also given a follow up Our Skyy that solved everything. 

9. HIStory: Stay Away from Me (Taiwan) - technically speaking this one is HEA, it’s just that they don’t really end on a kiss, but more platonically together and since this is a stepbrother trope that make the whole thing a bit amorphous. Of all the HIStory series, many of which could have done with second seasons, I really wish this one was the one that got one. 

10. Advance Bravely (China) - the second major victim of censoring after Addicted, if you love WoH you owe it to yourself to watch Gong Jun playing the spoiled rich kid sunshine uke role against an utra buff hot bodyguard grumpy seme. If it helps, GJ still has his fuck-off fan. The ending is straight up WEIRD but basically HFN? 

New 2023 addition: 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai ) - I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. More here.

(I do not include shows like Love Sick or Make it Right where the second season solved the non HEA of the first.) 

3 BLs That Will Destroy You 

These are fantastic BLs that have extremely tragic endings. Each one starts out so perfectly gloriously BL that if you end up watching them to their conclusion they might actually wreck your psyche. 

1. HIStory 3: Make Our Day’s Count (Taiwan) - of course this is number one on my list. Basically it’s a pitch perfect BL with all the best tropes, high heat, and great chemistry between two sets of couples. 

But the main couple! 

The main couple features BL’s premier hot himbo jock who falls so gloriously ridiculously goofy in love with the quiet timid broken nerd he once bullied, that it almost hurts to watch him yearn that earnestly. The couple battles the demands of school, family, and society, rising above it all and moving in together into domestic bliss and then... the nerd is killed in a car accident. 

AND THEN H3 graces us with two additional episodes of watching our beloved himbo SUFFER FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. I can hardly bare to type about it. 

2. Forbidden Love (Japan) - gah it’s so pretty. It’s the servant who grew up in the sinister mafia-esk family trope, which I love. It’s a killer pairing of spoiled, rich, loose-cannon seme madly in love with the older, somber, moral-compass uke. It’s a second chance at love since the uke has been abroad and the seme has been waiting and spiraling and pining. 

It goes right up to the edge of “yes they’re going make it!” and it’s hot. And then... it dives deep into murder and incest. 

MUST YOU JAPAN!? 

3. The Effect (Thailand) - betcha thought Thailand wouldn’t make this section, but once upon a time even they dabbled in the darker side of BL. The Effect is Thailand’s commentary on the dark BL that forms its yaoi heritage. It’s also kind of an acknowledgment as to why Thai BL is so different from its roots.  

Adorable uke is in love with the hottest most popular guy on campus. That guy is a typical ultra-controlling seme, and once he decides to love the uke back, he wants full ownership. The uke’s reticence with regards to sex and the seme’s internalized homophobia and terror about coming out combine into the worst possible outcome: physical violence, rape, self harm, and eventual suicide. 

Basically it’s Thailand saying: look if we depict the type of possessive unhealthy relationship almost always shown in BL in a realistic light, this is the real world result. It’s almost worth watching because of that. It’s fighting the tropes we love with the reality of obsessive love, and it hurts but at least it’s honest.

HEA in BL  

“HEA is guaranteed” is an audience contract that comes to romantic cinema out of Western romance literary traditions. Basically the cinematographic version of a “happily ever after” is to end the narrative arc by visually depicting a kiss/hug, an engagement, a wedding, sex, or domestic bliss for the main couple (AKA Acts of Unity). 

A guaranteed HEA is actually not a defining feature of BL on the whole. Although Thai and Korean stuff tends to lean that way. 

Yaoi actually has more in common with the Western erotica genre than with traditional Western romances. That’s because in origin yaoi manga, the objective was the physical relationship of the main characters, not necessarily an emotional/romantic connection. Since BL comes out of yaoi, a great deal of it, especially the early stuff from Japan and China, is high heat but does not end happily. 

Up until about 2017 when Thailand started to dominate the market, fully half of all BL (and prior to that even higher percentages) did not end happily. 

Types of Endings - TERMS 

HEA - happy ever after (as in “they all lived happily every after”) characters end up together and happy in the Disney fairytale romance sense of the concept 

HFN - happy for now, characters end up together but there’s still tension or looming threat to their unity 

amorphous - things are left up in the air either intentionally (common in indie and art films) or unintentionally, because the show did not get a second season/installment, was censored, or lost funding/cast 

tragic - one or both characters die by suicide, murder, or accidental death (AKA kill the gay) 

This is an extra to my series on top 10 BLs from each country coupled with a history of BL. 

Japanese BL

Chinese BL

Taiwanese BL

Korean BL

Thai BL

(source)

[butwhatifidothis]

I've been keeping up with your breakdown of The Fic for a little bit now, and it's been fascinating (and I do mean disheartening and disgusting) watching it go from bullshitty fix-it dressed as canon to...god, whatever it's turned into. And I genuinely would not care about this fic if I didn't see it and its author cited as some sort of embodiment of the game's canon; if it weren't one of the most popular fe3h fics because people treat it seriously. I fully believe people should get to write whatever they want and have a space to do it without hassle, but...but this fic, this author? It distresses a little to think of the damage it's done to this fandom, and the worrying real-life implications I've seen from people who think this fic should be taken as truth at face value. I'm not a fandom novice by any means, but this HAS to be something new for me. (As an aside, thank you for giving me and a whole bunch of others an opportunity to look at this fic without engaging with it directly. Your commentary is both blunt and perceptive (and amusing when the situation calls for it) which makes this otherwise GARBAGE situation a learning experience if nothing else. Masterclass on how not to write a fic, anyone?)

Like, I've mentioned before that being in the 3H fandom is a lot like being in the Bleach fandom for me for how many similarities there are, and I do see a good few here too: "cheating isn't that bad actually," blatant sexism, getting so many things about canon straight up wrong.

But, like, even in Bleach that mostly stuck to shipping? Like, fuckin', I dunno, Toshiro's characterization never got fucked around with by the shipping war (which was and still kinda is the Big thing goin' on for the most part) or something like that. But this fic in large part helped fuck over so many people's interpretations of the characters, the themes, and even just basic plot-points of 3H as a whole - I think I can say this is definitely a first for me as well.

Like, I've seen meta posts be recommended to others to get a grasp on elements of a story, which at least makes more sense? Given that meta posts (should) stick to the actual story in question - they can be inaccurate and not the best quality, but it's at least keeping to what actually happens. But, like, a fic is transformative by nature - it's going to add non-canonical things to fill in cracks, it's going to move in directions not taken by the source work, and, well, do things that if done in meta posts would mark a bad meta post.

Which is exactly what happens by Chapter 20 of this fic: EdeIgard doesn't have visions of the other routes, in the actual canon lore of 3H she has no relation to Divine Pulse, Kronya is never saved and "redeemed," EdeIgard and Ingrid/Sylvain/Marianne can't ever speak directly to each other let alone be oh so close friends, Flayn and Seteth can't join CF under any circumstances, etc. etc.. Imagine if those things or anything like those things appeared in a serious meta post! It'd be laughed out of the room! Like, this is fine to have in a fic because fics are all about saying "nah thanks I'm good" to some degree in regards to keeping strictly to canon (because if you want nothing but canon you'd just... play the game again lmao), but seeing this fic be taken any kind of serious is like... wild lmao.

And thank you!! I'm really glad my notes are if nothing else entertaining to read through 💞