#so like she in story is being hypocrite
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At this rate, current X-Men comics are proving Spiderman/Peter Parker cursing the X-Men as he leaves them in one comic right when they have moments like Emma Frost and Wolverine/Laura Kinney literally telling Ms Marvel/Kamala Khan that she doesn't know what its like to be oppressed like they are... ...Yes, they telling someone who grew up as a Muslim post-9/11...she doesn't know what its like to be oppressed...and even act like they more oppressed then everyone in the world I guess.
#i already hated them dragging kamala into the x-men via making her a mutant and such#but the fact that it includes shit like this??? what the actual fuck undo the mutant thing real quick-#like emma wanting her to be an ambassador for mutants but she gets this treatment....yeah i'd have said no instantly#especially as emma LITERALLY also did this#aka acting like to kamala again mutants are more oppressed#hey remember when mutants were stand ins for groups who recieved bigotry#and would as a result not fucking act like this???#yeah uh i think the writers forgot#also laura throws shade at her having been an avenger and like#a: kamala quit and made her own team cause avengers sucked at their job and young cyclops joined her team#which brings me to b: x-men have been apart of avengers for ages#ranging from logan to beast to storm#even laura joined avengers academy#so like she in story is being hypocrite#but out of story this is the writers again trying to do a stupid x-men/avengers feud thats not needed
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A complete travesty in the Good Omens universe? Michael not being portrayed the leader of angels.
She's supposed to be the Supreme Commander, and she's supposed to be the boss. I sincerely suggest you don't fight me on this hill. For Hell's sake, the actress has the perfect vibe... A crime has been commited here.
Therefore, I swear to fix it in my fanfictions. General, I'll do right by you. â¤
If you can't tell, in spite of being on the opposite side, I'm attached to this figure. I'm protective of this figure. I'll defend this figure with claws and teeth.
#watch me being a hypocrite because i always say respect canon and authors do what they wish their word is gospel#but it's good omens and i have a very strange relationship with this universe#also i'm not a hypocrite i can complain all i want it doesn't change canon - nor do i go lashing out at the creators i'm grumbling on a blog#that's the beauty of fandom and fanfiction you make seperate universes and have free reign#if other pricks around here can say they're âfixingâ canon for much lamer reasons so can i only i'm right#the beauty of fanwork is you remake what you adore in your own image#good omens#archangel michael#good omens michael#good omens fandom#good omens fanfiction#diary pages#i solemnly swear right here right now...#if you can't tell i have a thing for archangel michael... like in a hierophilic way#my crush from mythology tbh#i said you remake what you adore...#it's more complicated than that for me with go#i dislike most things about go that makes it go#but also i'll always love the story it is a part of me#no no no butchering what mikey's supposed to be was criminal but the actress got her i feel she did great she has the spartan aura#pro tip... never call her mikey XD
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Well, canât believe this AI fiasco is what finally convinced me to cut off from ClownfishTV. I was definitely getting uneasy with them after the way they handled the Jonathan Majors coverage (where Geeky was victim-blaming the girlfriend by asking why she delayed in reporting), but after the fact today that they opened up for an interview with the animator for the Scooby Doo AI video (who at this point has now showed his whole ass for being a piece of shit) so they can keep defending him as this âpoor widdle kidâ⌠I think Iâm done. Theyâve become hypocrites and itâs really disappointing for me to see. But also donât come on this post thinking this is a bashfest. Itâs not. Iâm just venting cutting ties with them as a pop-culture news resource but I honestly donât have any particular feelings against them as people.
#It just sucks because I appreciated when they would cover something and even further delve into it when things werenât as they seemed#Like the whole Helena Taylor fiasco#And I appreciated what I THOUGHT was their anti-AI stance but apparently not#Not when theyâre trying to paint this grown-ass man as some innocent little baby#The animator is now on Twitter calling out Grey Delisle for using uncredited work in her album showcase Tweet#AND LET ME CLARIFY: Grey deserves to be called out for that because sheâs being insanely hypocritical#But this animator is the last fucking person who deserves to be calling her out because now heâs just scapegoating from what heâs done#So yeah fuck everybody involved in this story for not having any fucking morals
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"Why are all SK fans proshippers" Silence fetus
#text#mind you SK was released in a very different time period where fandoms back in the day were built different. freaks strived and#everyone back in the day followed fandom etiquette âship and let shipâ and âdont like dont readâ. fandoms back in the old day were#peaceful and supported one another. ppl shipped anything and everyone and ppl minded their own business in the early 2000s#thats how almost all old sk veteran fans i know turn out to be what they are today#(ofc there are some. other veteran folks i do not fuck with as theyre also genuine assholes and are hypocrites/ostracizes others.#. but another discussion for another day lol. you must be a level 100+ of friendship to unlock my tragic sk fan backstory)#also news flash all of your favorite anime/manga stories are all written by profic ppl! thats right! everyone in japan are profic#shocking i know#japanese folks dont give a flying rat ass when it comes to FICTIONAL morals because they know how to differentiate between fic and reality#the fact that so many antis keep on twisting the word proship so many times to the point where its widely misinterpreted and ppl#nowadays esp the younger gen easily believe in the misinformation and keep repeating the cycle of misinformation in modern fandoms today#it pisses me off honestly#but yeah what did you expected from a old series that came out in the late 90s. the fact that theyre consuming the series when the series#itself also literally has problematic elements too lol#and see this is why im glad SK is niche despite that i wish it was popular so it can bring in more renmei fans but in the end its better of#being niche#because had it blown up it wouldve attracted all of the chronically online kids/puritans/fandom police and ruin everything for everyone#modern fandom today is the reason why all fandoms suck nowadays and its why i gave up joining and being part of them#theres discrimination everywhere in modern fandoms. oh your a proshipper? gtfo DNI and kys!!!!11111#its like theres eggshells everywhere no matter where you go. you have to abide with morality and puritanical rules its the âautomaticâ law#but fuck that thats never been the automatic law in fandoms lol. Ship and let ship AND dont like dont read is the real fandom laws here lol#but back to what i want to also say. theres nothing you can do about SK fans being proshippers. the old fans has always operated that way#since the old times. either adapt / cope with it OR you can just. block everyone and preserve your peace. which takes like 10 seconds#this is like maybe the 15th SK puritan fan i know lol. then again i also know theres ALOT of renmei antis who follow the puritan mindset#imao. I say this alot many times but SK fandom is only ugly and almost everyone becomes a puritan when renmei gets mentioned#which has always made me ????????????????? so yall can handle yoyo boy and anna teen preg can handle serg getting groomed/manipulated#by marc and xes laws can handle kids getting their arms and legs ripped off can handle kids getting killed left and right#can handle shipping bruce lee whos like plenty years older than JUN which btw beginning of the series she starts off being 17#but a 4 year age gap between ren and jeanne is too much apparently and should be cancelled. geez louise
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apologies are hard and can be embarassing
but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad
#it wasnt a big bad deal#but i didnt listen and projected my guilt#i wanted to be angry and annoyed#but whats the point#is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong#to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person#its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong#but you never know if this moment is the last with that person#and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry#i sometimes forget this#something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time#ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong#but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself#i stopped paying attention and focused on only me#and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself#im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly#none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to#which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down#taking up time that could have been happy#people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive#again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt#of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able#i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able#and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick#even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did#me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario#but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can#freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when#i say im fine that i too am telling the truth
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You can't, and shouldn't be able to, control the interpretation or fan works people make of your creations (plagiarism aside). Otherwise we'd have a lot of angry bigoted creators shooting down our diversity headcanons and fics rn
BUT that doesn't mean you should be afraid to create, especially what others are not creating. Create for the people who WILL interpret your work how you meant it, for people who will learn from your work, those who will benefit from seeing something that goes against the status quo, that represents them, that shows them kindness and love, that cries with them. Create for yourself, for the person you were when you needed your creations. For the person of now who needs them too. I promise it will mean something.
Because you know who isn't afraid to keep creating? Those aforementioned bigoted creators. They don't want you to create. They don't want you as competition. They certainly don't want you challenging or changing the status quo. Do it anyway.
Being an aromantic writer is frustrating because you want to show aromantic people but you know damn well people would misinterpret their relationships as romantic and ship them, ignoring the orientation of them for aromantics like you to finally get more recognised within in or out of the community. It really says something that I know I have to be explicitly clear that these characters are aromantic and I don't want them shipped for people to even slightly get the message across.
#Think of Todd from Bojack and how much he meant to aros#Hell I'm aro and I can't even name another aro character outside of that show??#Maybe Jughead if that's canon or there was someone in She-Ra?#We see implied aromanticism at best#Although usually not even that#You know how it is#I may never get my stories published so maybe that makes me a hypocrite but I want others to succeed at what I'd love to do#How much it meant that Alex Hirsh and Rebecca Sugar fought to get what they could on the air#Rick Riordan publishing handfuls of queer characters under Disney Hyperion#Imagine our voices becoming the mainstream#Like seven years ago I didn't know that aromantic was a THING#Ten years ago I learned about asexuality and nonbinary genders#I was already a teenager#My sibling is ten years younger and grew up with Magnus Chase and the Owl House and is openly pan and nonbinary#Think about the next ten years#Maybe being aro will be normal too
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This fandom created a myth about Lady Whistledown. Sometimes i wonder if i watched the same show. Let me make myself clear: While Penelope has to tell Colin the truth, because she loves him and he deserves it, LW helped the Bridgertons a lot actually. It saved them to have Daphne married to a creep ( and see how Violet wanted people to talk to reach LW and spread), saved Colin from a loveless marriage with children that he didn't know anything about it and saved Eloise. Yes, it saved Eloise. Eloise created and kept pushing the situation in her reckless pursuit. Eloise also didn't think about the consequences of her action towards the people working for LW, didn't listen to Penelope, didn't think about the risk she was putting people at. And while i understand her anger in not knowing, had she been a better friend, many other things would be different, because she truly never paid attention to what Penelope feels or want, she molded Pen to be whom she wanted and be her audience. And then, she left Pen with the choice of losing all she built and suffer consequences or pick the less harmful option: to make Eloise's scandal about politics, not romantic and save them both, plus Theo. The real ruin for Eloise would've been her being caught with Theo, something that was bound to happen as she was not careful at all. Why should Pen sacrifice all for Eloise? Would any of you sacrifice all ( job, family and possibly your liberty) for a friend who caused the bloody situation? I'm no hypocrite, i know i wouldnt. Not to mention Eloise bravado, to Pen she would say she wants to challenge society and doesn't care about what they think...but folded the moment she received a frown from the Ton. Shall we see who are LW victims, people that suffered real consequences? Lord Beerbrock. That's it. Marina is married, despite her lies and deceit. Colin? Nothing as well, in fact, happier than ever. Eloise? A few weeks of ostracism and she's back without a problem, without a romantic entanglement to ruin her. One that she clearly didn't really thought was deep enough to face society. The Bridgertons have more to thank LW than to hate her. And Violet and Anthony, i bet your asses, do think so, and see it. And The Queen? Are you watching the show? Have you seen Charlotte's personality? That woman loves the whole game with LW. And She loves to take it all, to receive the laurels of that society. As long as she can make it look like the won, and she can, easily, by revealing or be involved in revealing who is LW. See the whole KatexEdwina, how she handled the Ton there.
Anyway, just wanted to say something because some people have dreamed a LW that doesn't exist at all. Created on their own minds a boogeyman that wasn't simply reporting the truth with witty opinions but fabricating stories and lies to ruin lives, and that's simply not true. Never happened. There was never a lie created there. Only the truth, even about herself, as Pen was often damaged by her column.
#bridgerton#polin#lady whistledown#penelope featherington#nicola coughlan#luke newton#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#eloise bridgerton
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criston cole is such a female-experience coded character and it is exactly why he is hated so much hear me out
his whole character is built around the idea that rhaenyra seduced him, had taken his dignity and made him feel like her whore. his vow and his duty are close enough to the idea of women's purity and value. you were sullied, you have to marry the man that devalued you, otherwise you are spoiled and unworthy.
on top of that, his identity as a knight, as kingsguard means he is submissive. he is not seen having a lot of opinions or plans to how things are done, the big guys in the council decide and he has to obey to their orders.
on top of that, when he does act at last, it's portrayed in the form of scheming, behind the backs of people, and it's mostly attributed to his sentimental nature, to his inability to think straight, be logical because of his personal feelings. that's how women have been portrayed for centuries.
another thing that makes his character harder to grasp is the choice to have the same actor play the pre-timeskip and past-timeskip criston. 20 years have passed and yet people see him as the same person who refused to be rhaenyra's whore but now he is hypocritical because he is alicent's whore. 20 years have passed and, even if you can't see it on his face, he's bound to have changed too.
in his relationship with alicent he doesn't talk as much. he is obedient, she's the one in charge. she gets to say when and how things happen, he is just at her service.
his entire character is build up to revolve around rhenyra, like women's lives are supposed to revolve around men. if he refuses to acknowledge his status in his youth he is no longer allowed to later (after 20 years mind you) find some sort of comfort in another master. it's like saying "if you say you hate the system why take part in it"?
his pent up rage and hatred is evil, because what happened to him was behind closed doors where no one saw or heard of it. because if they knew of it he would lose everything, exactly the way women have often refrained from talking about their condition in fear of being villainized themselves. in the meantime, the one in power will keep their dignity and spotless reputation like rhaenyra is not even held accountable for having bastards pushed forward as heirs, not to mention the fling she had with criston.
this rant is in no way trying to portray criston cole as a saint or a good guy or trying to justify his behaviour. this is actually the problem with hotd, the effort to draw a line between the good guys and bad guys. have it be either balck or white. it's not, it can't be. you either have complex, morally grey characters with flaws and mistakes or you go watch marvel or something. even there villains are more humanized than in this petty effort of righteousness.
LE: thank you everyone who mentioned the aspect of criston being a man of colour from dorne and the power dynamic between a royal and a lower born who fought his way into the world! this rant was written in a rush and while i couldn't express the latter as eloquently as most of you in the tags/comments, i completely overlooked the former. i love looking through everyone's tags and comments and seeing your takes. as @jazzyclarinet pointed out in the comments, seeing criston's character in this light does not erase or diminish the injustice other women in the story experience.
on another note, i feel like part of the blame is on the way hbo marketed the season with the pressure to pick a side. however, i think what we've been lacking as a society in the post covid years is actual unbiased analysis of art. swallowing up content without any question and making said content a personality trait is harmful. as i said, i don't like criston as a character, but i can make these points about him simply because i watch the show critically and i don't blindly defend a character while trashing another.
#criston cole#ser criston cole#ser criston#hotd criston#house of the dragon#hotd#alicent x criston#alicent hightower#pro criston cole#pro alicent hightower#pro team green#team green#anti team black
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serenely remembering the moment when isabel fall published "helicopter story" aka "i sexually identify as an attack helicopter", which instantiated harassment from her clouty new-wave scifi friends that radiated outwards into transmisogynist scifi normies and became so severe she wound up in inpatient. people took up the cause of the story in the name of "free artistic expression" and "speaking difficult truths", which was not incorrect but which was kind of missing the forest for the trees in that specific situation: the age-old game of "kill the baby trans girl out of professional jealousy, farm clout off of doing it". the roles could have been completely reversed - the transmisogynist acquaintances could have been writing edgy outsider lit and could have been encouraging mass harassment against her for being a tenderqueer sellout (i swear to god i have seen this shit too). effect would have been the same.
when trans women in FSF talk about this shit, they usually talk about it from the angles of "censorious tenderqueers tried to kill someone over a story" or, in the most sympathetic voice i've seen out of someone in journalism, "public pressure functionally forced this exciting trans writer back into the closet". but they generally miss the degree to which it was intimate, personal transmisogynist violence, which bled into and intersected with the logics of mob justice, of "community safety" (remember, part of the substance of the accusations was that she was a stealth nazi, which frankly knowing a little about both the accusers and IF herself I can say confidently was not just vacuous but knowingly vacuous, them lying through their teeth), and again, professional jealousy.
i have seen people who crowed the loudest about what got done to IF do it to other people. it's the easiest thing in the world, and it happens all the time, and you can do it whenever you want - try and have some weird tranny rival or inconvenient tranny ex-friend killed - and it engenders no moral stain, no whispers, no reputation. i think they don't even have a conception that they're hypocrites. why would they? nothing that happens to anyone like that is real. human life is cheap if it's in the wrong body. everything they hold is stolen, everything they are is negotiable, for everything they do someone else surely deserves the credit. why not you? don't you deserve it more?
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"Shuro loves Falin for the same reasons he hates Laios" Completely and utterly wrong, could not be further off base.
I get the impression a lot of people watching Dungeon Meshi as it airs, or are a bit removed from its original manga run, have forgotten that Laios and Falin being monster freaks wasn't actually apparent until the events of the story. The only person that knew Falin loved monsters as much as Laios was Marcille because they were best friends at school.
Once Laios and Falin were in an adventuring party together, they both had public facing personas because they had both learned through their separate upbringings that being super interested in monsters and dungeons wasn't normal. Laios is the blunt but well meaning, outspoken and opinionated guy we all know, but Falin was way more withdrawn and soft-spoken, non-confrontational, easy to get along with. Everyone that interacted with Falin would say she's a sweet, gentle girl that everyone likes. Because she was, frankly, kind of a doormat.
The whole thing with Toshiro's infatuation with Falin is he doesn't actually know her. She is outwardly very polite and reserved, and that appeals to Toshiro because it meshes with his cultural sensibilities and how he was taught people are supposed to behave. Then he sees her marveling at a caterpillar in a private moment and decides on the spot that she's the ideal woman and proposes without actually talking to or getting to know her.
And his lack of understanding of Falin as a person is brought to the forefront in every action he takes after she gets eaten. He leaves the party and makes no attempt to contact the two people that Falin loves the most. Whether it's a matter of him just not knowing how much Falin cares about her brother and Marcille, or actively avoiding Laios to rescue Falin himself, he's demonstrating that he doesn't actually know what's important to her or understand how she feels.
Then when he meets Laios's party on the lower floors and they go over what happened, it's made even more blatant that Toshiro's affection is shallow and half-baked. He came into the dungeon a week too late and neglected his health the whole way down, so he was in no state to actually try and save Falin when he got there. When Laios talks about eating monsters, something Falin was thrilled about, Toshiro is disgusted. He threatens to kill Laios and turn Marcille in, which would never fly with Falin. His anger at the use of black magic is entirely based in his selfish idea of Falin being tainted and blaming Laios and Marcille for "ruining" his attempt to rescue her, as Kabru points out that Toshiro would have done the exact same thing in their shoes and that he's being a hypocrite. To say nothing of how he'd rather kill Falin after she's been transformed and "put her to rest" rather than put any effort into saving her, because that would require further involvement from Laios and Marcille and methods that Toshiro doesn't approve of.
And there's the fight he has with Laios, and Toshiro's subsequent confession that he had hoped to just take Falin home with him. He at no point gives consideration to what Falin feels or what she might want, only what he has decided about her based on the most surface level observation. Just like how his problem with Laios arises from his refusal to just talk to him about his boundaries, he has no actual connection with the woman he claims to love because he just wouldn't actually talk to her.
Like it's not a coincidence that every time his attraction to Falin is brought up, another character goes "yeah he's being weird about it".
#Dungeon Meshi#Toshiro isn't a bad person. He has communication issues and makes very bad decisions based on his own refusal to communicate.
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KISS ME MORE â ning yizhuo
tldr: my (22f) gay roommateâs (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. sheâs one of my best friends but now iâm wondering if i could be homophobic.
tags fluff, crack, jealousy, non-idol au, roommates, based off that one reddit story, short fic, dialogue heavy, mentions of jmj, hi yunjin! tw for oblivious ning, pacingâs weird kinda
wordcount 5.2k
đď¸ authorâs note: happy birthday ning! late fic ik⌠but iâve been busy (iâm sorry đ) hope our dearest main vocal stays happy for the rest of her life! canât imagine aespa without her đ¤ happy reading~
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 16 hours ago.
TLDR: my (22f) gay roommateâs (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. sheâs one of my best friends but now iâm wondering if i could be homophobic.
i am currently roommates with this girl, A. we've been staying together ever since we graduated and weâre very close. sometimes weâll even jokingly flirt with each other but she knows iâm straight and she has never made me uncomfortable before. iâm a foreigner and A has definitely helped me grow accustomed to the culture here. i owe it all to her. which is why iâm confused about my feelings right now.
iâve never thought of myself to be discriminatory towards anyone and i always welcomed those different from me, regardless of their sexual orientation. however, recently my roommate has come out to me. i supported her and didnât think much of it after. but hereâs where the problem starts. she came back with a girl a few days ago that i recognise from our extended friend group. i have nothing against gay people but when i saw the girl, i just felt so upset. at first i thought it was because i was in a bad mood and all i wanted was to cuddle with A, but afterwards, A would progressively get more touchy with that girl (lets call her Y). every time i would see them, i just felt bad. i wanted to puke at the sight.
i caught them making out on the couch once and i got so pissed off. i think it was because of a rough day but basically when my roommate started to apologise, i just blew her off. Y seemed embarrassed too. i felt really bad afterwards since A was really hurt by my action. she asked me why i was so angry and i just lied saying that something at work made me upset. i donât want to tell her that it was because seeing her with a girl that i was annoyed.
there was another incident where she brought Y to our weekly game night. all my friends seemed fine with her, except for me. one of my friends, letâs call her M, had to pull me aside to ask what was wrong with me. in that moment, i realised that i was only hurting A and Y by being a jerk. iâm normally a polite person but that day i was being unnecessarily rude to someone i didnât even know. i chalked it up as wanting only the best for A since sheâs a year younger than me and wanting to protect her. she doesnât really date anyone and sheâs very quiet. am i being unreasonable? i really donât want to be homophobic. i told M all about my feelings of homophobia and she told me that she was dating a girl too. i didnât know why she brought it up but then she asked if i felt any disgust towards her for being gay. i said no and that her sexual orientation would never change our friendship.
so she asked why do i only feel that way towards A? and i want to extend that question to everyone here too. can someone help? do you have any experience with something like this? i donât want to lose A as a friend. sheâs one of my best friends and i canât see myself not standing beside her in the future. weâve been through a lot together and i donât want this to be the reason why we end our friendship. sheâs never once complained about my dating life and it feels hypocritical to do the same to hers. but i just feel queasy whenever she brings up other girls. like i want to bash my head against the wall type.
do i have selective homophobia? can someone help?
⧠157 | ⊠| 89 comments
u/betterthingz01 | 12h
op i hate to break this to you⌠but i think you might be in love with your roommate.
u/throwawaylizard | 12h
can you elaborate? please!!!
u/flatearther | 11h
Are u sure u donât have a crush on A? Or that u are straight?
u/throwawaylizard | 10h
uhm well iâm straight⌠so i donât think i have a crush on A but if i was into girls, iâd definitely fall in love with her!! sheâs really sweet and caring.
u/flatearther | 10h
Oh đđ
u/mingmingz | 7h
how do you feel if your roommate brought back a different girl? maybe you just donât like Y as a person?
u/throwawaylizard | 7h
she used to bring other girls around too i think they were just friends though. i felt the same way but just seeing her kiss Y makes me want to throw up :((
u/blueskies444 | 5h
have u tried talking to ur roommate? i think communication is the best solution here
u/throwawaylizard | 4h
i talked to her a few days ago, asking her if she could stop bringing Y to our hangouts or apartment because it feels weird. our friend group only really consisted of five people and as bad as it sounds, Y just felt like an intruder. she kinda looked at me weird before agreeing. but then she asked if i would be fine if she went to Yâs apartment instead and obviously i said it wasnât any of my business. A got a little upset and we havenât been talking recentlyâŚ
u/blueskies444 | 4h
iâm gonna be real w u for a sec and say that A is most definitely trying to get u jealous
u/throwawaylizard | 3h
why would she do that?
u/blueskies444 | 2h
yeahhh iâm not the one who should tell u why
âning yizhuo, why am i getting messages from jimin unnie saying that she found your reddit post?â minjeongâs voice shrills out behind yizhuo. the girl shrinks, shivers running down her spine at the thought of anyone finding out about her post. she had resorted to reddit for help after much consideration and even aeri had said that reddit was surprisingly helpful at times.
âthatâs not me! youâve got the wrong person!â
minjeong rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto yizhuoâs desk, âthatâs literally you. ddongie would be upset to know that heâs a throwaway lizard.â
yizhuo instantly protests, âthat just means that it isnât my main account! i didnât want people to find my real account.â
âoh, so you are throwaway lizard?â
she cowers at minjeongâs intense gaze, knowing that her little slip up just cost her whole facade.
âwell the comments were helpful!â
âdid you not reread what you typed out?â
minjeongâs genuine tone makes yizhuo hesitate.
âyeah? did i make a lot of spelling mistakesâŚ?â
âno! did you not realise?â minjeong asks again. yizhuo huffs, swerving back around in her chair, ârealise what? that iâm a bad friend? y/n hasnât talked to me in days.â
just as she said in her reddit post, you havenât spoken a word to her ever since that day she confronted you. yizhuo doesnât think she was super mean with her words but the way you had reacted made it seemed like she killed your whole family.
she had only said, âhey, can you stop bringing yunjin over?â and her mere words had launched a full-blown argument where you had insinuated that yizhuo was jealous that you had someone to rely on.
it couldnât have been further from the truth! yizhuo would never be upset about your happiness. any semblance of bitterness had lessened when she saw how bright your smile was or how much you were laughing when yunjin would tell a joke.
(she didnât find it funny but at least you laughed. yunjin was the epitome of dad jokes. she was not funny.)
âshe really hasnât? wow, sheâs determined,â minjeong chuckles.
yizhuo rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her sketchbook. a few scrawned out designs, nothing much. just to take her mind off this situation for now. the pencil drawings somehow only manages to ensure that her brain constantly thinks about you though. how you encouraged her to enrol in a fashion course and how you were certain that yizhuo would become the biggest designer ever known.
she would giggle at your claims and humour you. now all that was left was your silence.
âwhy would she be determined to ignore me?â yizhuo asks, sighing, âi was upset but now it just seems like she thinks i donât want her to be happy.â
minjeong raises an eyebrow, âwhat did the comments say? did they help?â
yizhuo huffs just thinking about the reddit comments. none of them really helped her to identify her feelings. just stating that she was gay and in love. both wrong!
âthey said iâm in love with y/n and iâm jealous of yunjin,â she answers coolly, trying not to get too worked up over the false accusations.
minjeong winces, âdo you think theyâre right?â
yizhuo furrows her eyebrows.
âno?! iâm not gay!â
âbut do you like y/n?â
âno! sheâs just a very good friend!â
the brunette sighs, âthatâs what they all say.â
âminjeong!â
yizhuo couldnât be in love with you. no way. you were really just a good friend. one of her closest. she adored you greatly and wanted the best for you.
âso why are you so upset?â minjeong asks.
âi donât know! thatâs why iâm asking reddit! but now i just look like an idiot,â yizhuo groans, wanting to pull her hair out of frustration, which truly shows how irritated she was. she would never harm her hair.
âyizhuo, have you ever considered that youâre not as straight as you thought?â
yizhuo turns back to face minjeong, whoâs sitting on her bed. she thinks back to all the times youâve hung out with her. the lingering touches of comfort. the warmth she felt whenever you spoke.
she just wants her friend back. and she doesnât know why sheâs acting so unreasonable. could minjeong have a point? what if yizhuoâŚ
âoh my gosh! iâm jealous since sheâs out and gayââ
minjeong lights up, squealing, âyes!â
âand iâm just a straight girl without any confidence! iâm jealous of her confidence!â
minjeong deflates almost instantly.
yizhuo knows sheâs right, so she immediately hatches a plan to talk to you. one comment said communication was vital in preserving this friendship, so yizhuo jumped into action. she knew you had your shifts at night and yizhuo could catch you off-guard right after. your work usually ended late and yizhuo always dozed off on the couch waiting for you. recently that routine has been broken, of course, but thatâs when youâre most susceptible to vulnerability. yizhuo needed space to be honest and truthful.
thus, she waits patiently in the living room. yizhuoâs not really sure how long your shift lasts but she normally hears your keys jingle at midnight, so maybe then?
she waits an hour. then another. and then another. she spends the time scrolling on instagram, a frown forming on her face when yunjin appears on her feed.
then, finally, she hears the door creaking. jumping up from her lying position, yizhuo sits upright, focused.
âoh,â is your first word to her. not âhiâ, or âhelloâ, just an acknowledgment.
yizhuo blinks at the sight of you in your work attire. but she quickly shoves the thought of how attractive you looked into the back of her mind.
âhey,â she winces at her own unfamiliar tone, âcan we talk?â
you stare at her in shock before reluctantly nodding.
âyeah, sure.â
she pats the space next to her and clears her throat as you sit down.
âi know iâve kind of been a jerk lately especially to you and yunjin, but i just want to say that iâm sorry.â
surprise flickers in your eyes, âoh.â
âi talked to minjeong unnie and it really cleared things up. i realised that i was upset because it felt like we werenât as close as before. knowing that someone like yunjin could come replace me. i was jealous that you had someone while i didnât. it felt like you were moving on without me, so i got a bit angry. iâm really sorry for the way i treated you and yunjin.â
(their first interaction really went poorly. yizhuo had came home, ready for a long movie night, just to find a random girl (well, not really random) sprawled out on her couch.
âiâm home,â yizhuo calls out, carefully approaching the body. long and lanky is the first thing she notices. and the bright red hair. yizhuo dyed her hair red before, it stained her pillowcase cover. she wonders if this girlâs pillowcase covers are stained with red dye too.
âhey, how was your day?â you ask, laying beside the girl, âsorry, this is yunjin. we just finished a gym session together with aeri unnie. minjeong unnie knows her.â
no wonder why you were barely dressed. yizhuo scrunches her nose at the sight of yunjinâs arm wrapped around your bare torso. she nods and asks quietly, âwhy is she here?â
you laugh, âi was bragging about my post-gym lunch and she said she wanted to try.â
yizhuoâs never tried your cooking before. she feels a little out of place now.
âah, okay,â she replies dryly, not bothering to keep her volume down, âis she going to be here all day?â
yunjin wakes up at the commotion, a little disoriented as she shifts.
âoh, shit. sorry, y/nnie,â yunjin yawns, sitting up, âsorry ning, i accidentally fell asleep.â
âitâs yizhuo. only my friends call me ning,â she spits out. you send her a scalding look that makes her want to retract her words, âwhatever. sorry. see you guys later.â
at night, just before you leave for your shift, you reprimand her, saying that she was extremely rude to someone she didnât even know. yizhuo had tuned out most of your scolding, not wanting to hear you defend yunjin.)
âohâŚâ
yizhuo swallows harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, âi just need you to know iâm not praying for your downfall or anything. i want the best for you, especially since you feel like my younger sister.â
as soon as she finishes her little speech, she opens her eyes to your flabbergasted expression. eyebrows furrowed with your mouth agape.
âuhm⌠can you forgive me?â
yizhuo really needs you to forgive her. she doesnât know what she would do if you decided that this was the breaking point for your friendship. she would respect your decision but still, it wouldnât be nice. who would want that? and if you decided to end the friendship, what would happen with the apartment? yizhuo really likes being roommates with you. it would suck to have to find another roommate as meticulous as you.
âwellâ uhm, of course,â you stutter, âi gotta go shower. sorry.â
âoh, okay.â
just as youâre about to get up, yizhuo reaches for your hand, âweâre okay, right?â
she watches your throat bobble before rasping out, âyes. weâre fine.â
wow! yizhuo mentally pats herself on the back.
that was so easy. it felt like a whole weight got lifted off her chest. yizhuo smiles to herself and enters her own room, proud.
(meanwhile, in your own room, you vent to yunjin, bewildered by yizhuoâs obliviousness.
âshe said iâm like a sister! her absolute gall! and she said itâs because sheâs upset she doesnât have someone like me! your whole jealousy tactic didnât do shit!â
âgirl, calm down. i didnât know you liked the dumb ones. who knew she was so stupid?â)
you stare at yizhuo, whoâs trying her best not to show any disdain for the way yunjinâs arm was slung over your shoulder. she must either be extremely self-repressed or just stupid. probably both. unless she didnât actually like you. that thought, you didnât dare to entertain. the once confident and bold girl had turned into this timid and shy kitten.
âtake a shot if youâve kissed someone in this room before!â aeri reads out the card before gulping down her drink. minjeong and jimin do the same and so do a few others. when yunjin shakes you ever so slightly, you take the initiative to swallow down the burning sensation. yizhuoâs glare narrows before she turns away entirely.
subtly grinning at her act of jealousy, you hum happily. thereâs an outcry of people asking who aeri kissed and the attention shifts away. most people in your extended friend group had assumed you and yunjin to be dating. the only people who knew the truth were minjeong and aeri. jimin was kept in the dark since well, truthfully, she couldnât keep a secret from yizhuo.
âtake a shot if you ever kissed someone of the same gender.â
thereâs more people drinking this time. you drink yours after a refill and so does yunjin. your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when yizhuo drinks as well. wasnât she straight?
âwho did you kiss?!â jimin screeches.
yizhuo wipes her lips, glistening with alcohol, âa friend. it was a dare in high school.â
you listen with rapt attention as aeri eggs on, âwas it good? are girls better than guys?â
âwell, it was definitely less sloppy,â yizhuo shrugs, giggling. her blush has worsened under the lighting and you can tell sheâs at least tipsy now. the redness was currently spreading throughout her cheekbones and neck. you would coo at the adorable sight of her pouting and playing with the soju bottle if she wasnât the stupidest girl on earth. you noticed how yizhuo drank every time yunjin squeezed your shoulder or you leaned into her touch. was she seriously still so thick?
âtake a shot if you ever crushed on someone in this room,â aeri groans, downing her glass again. you drink yours and others follow. it wasnât unexpected. you were seventy percent sure that most of the guys had crushed on jimin before, at least for a second. or maybe hanbin. he was cute too. that, you could admit.
âaeri⌠why are all the questions about dating?!â jimin whines, flopping onto the carpeted floor. minjeong winces before exclaiming, âi think sheâs drunk now. letâs call it a night, okay?â
you agree. yizhuo looks seconds away from passing out as well and despite your recent gym endeavours, you do not want to carry a twenty four year old woman back home. yunjin taps your side and slyly tilts her head towards yizhuo, whoâs leaning against the couch.
âgo save your princess, romeo,â she whispers and stands to help minjeong clean up.
after all the bottles had been cleared, you crouched to yizhuoâs eye level, âning, letâs go. itâs time to go home.â
her eyelids flutter open and she blinks at you wearily, âhome?â
you nod, standing to wrap her arm over your shoulder to steady her. finally on her two feet, you bid goodbye to everyone and make your way home, albeit slowly.
every minute or so, yizhuo would jolt and nearly topple over. right as you reach your place, she leans over to the sidewalk drain and gags. you let go instantly and take out your phone to record her. next time she wants to get drunk, youâll just show her the video. let her reflect.
âyizhuo, hurry up, i wanna shower,â you complain, dragging the hem of her shirt.
âo-okayâŚ!â
âuhm, you have to get up.â
yizhuo nods again, wobbling as she stands. you grip her wrist and pull her into the apartment lobby. her body weighs heavily onto yours in the lift and you huff at the stench of alcohol.
âyou smell bad,â you sigh.
âreally?â yizhuo giggles, âyou donât like it?â the elevator dings.
she turns around to rest her head on your shoulder.
âi shouldnât have gotten so drunkâŚâ
âno kidding. câmon you big baby.â
finally, after much effort, you manage to get yizhuo onto the couch. youâre heaving and panting at the end but at least sheâs comfortable.
âplease never get this drunk again,â you groan, flopping onto the couch.
yizhuo moans, ânot my fault.â
âyeah? whoâs fault is it then?â
she flips herself around, facing the ceiling, ây-yours.â
âhow is it my fault?â
âyou and yunjinâŚâ she slurs out and your heart leaps.
âhow is it our fault?â
âyou keep touching each other,â yizhuo inhales sharply before mumbling, âi hate itâŚâ
grinning, you pat her back.
âyeah. itâs my fault. sorry baby.â
âhmfphâŚâ
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 4 hours ago.
UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommateâs (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. sheâs one of my best friends but now iâm wondering if i could be homophobic.
hi guys! so i know some of you all have been asking for an update and here it is. thereâs really nothing much that has changed? weâre back to normal, mostly. A doesnât bring Y around as much anymore which honestly, should make me feel guilty but i donât. we had a talk and i think it went rather well. i told her i felt like i was left behind and she forgave me for being so shitty.
it feels like this was just a hurdle in our friendship and weâre closer than ever. sheâs become really touchy with me and i appreciate that things are back to normal. sheâs been initiating talks and hangout sessions which boosts my mood immensely. iâm really happy with the progress we made. weâve even started cooking together and it feels awesome. Y had tasted her cooking before and i didnât. so it felt like this hole in my heart had been patched up. our movie nights have become solely ours and everythingâs great. sheâs the sweetest girl i know and the most caring, so i really do feel happy that i have my best friend and roommate back. our cold war was doing a toll on my mental and physical health but a simple conversation had cleared the air so easily.
sometimes when she brings up Y since she still hangs out with her, i do feel a little upset. she told me they arenât dating, just good friends. but other than that, weâre cool. thanks for all the comments! iâm glad iâm not homophobic :D
⧠178 | ⊠| 102 comments
u/imissher | 3h
op you canât be seriousâŚ
u/throwawaylizard | 3h
? whatâs wrong
u/imissher | 2h
it feels as if you havenât really solved this âhomophobiaâ issue. just put it off to the side.
u/throwawaylizard | 2h
IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC đ
u/mingzmingz | 2h
well iâm glad? as long as you guys are happy ig. idk whatâs up with gay people
u/throwawaylizard | 2h
thank you! iâm not gay though.
u/japansfinest | 1h
HOLY SHIT NING
u/throwawaylizard | 1h
OMG DONT DOX ME???
u/japansfinest | 1h
GIRL BE SERIOUS RN đđ
u/1800hotnfun | 1h
i strive to live as blissfully ignorant as you, op
u/throwawaylizard | 1h
not very sure if this is a compliment.
things had reverted back to normal. yizhuo was happy again and it seemed like everything was fine.
so how did she get here?
yizhuo had simply gone out to get groceries for your dinner together and when she arrived home, hands full of plastic bags, she heard the tail of your conversation over the phone.
âi donât think sheâs picking up my hints, yun,â you say in hushed whispers, âmaybe she really is straight. or she just doesnât like me.â
despite yizhuoâs moral compass, she decides to listen in on your conversation. sheâs never heard of you liking someone before, or being so insecure. what girl wouldnât like you back? and you liked a straight girl too?
she canât hear yunjinâs reply but you let out an exasperated sigh, âmaybe she thinks iâm just being a really good friend. i thought she would have already realised i liked her by now. your whole jealousy plan didnât work either. i mean, it did but not really.â
yizhuo slowly twists the door knob before loudly announcing, âiâm home!â
she hopes that by now, you would have ended the call so she wouldnât have to interact with yunjin at all.
âoh,â she catches the anxiety in your voice, âdid you get everything?â
âyup. there was a sale on apples, so i got those too,â yizhuo says, a little too cheerfully, but she wants to cover up any nervousness. as she places the bags on the kitchen counter, you stand up to help unpack everything.
while you start to arrange all the groceries, yizhuo thinks about your words. liking someone. a girl. a straight girl who was potentially oblivious to your advances?
yizhuo scrunches her nose.
soundsâŚ
familiar.
âhey, did you get healthier milk? the one with less sugar added.â
as you twirl around to ask, yizhuoâs heart gets caught in her throat.
she was the straight oblivious girl.
âuhâ yeah. i got both,â she gestures awkwardly to the pile of bags. you nod and go back to sorting everything out. god, she needs a breather. trudging to the couch, she sighs as the softness envelops her. she couldnât wrap her head around thisâ you liked her? potentially? definitely?
yizhuo spends the next few minutes having an existential crisis. she was straight! the straight girl that you liked! and that whole jealousy thing with yunjin! you planned that! she canât believe it. all her nights were spent debating whether she was homophobic or not and it was all a rouse to get her jealous? well, was she jealous? minjeong had seemed intent on getting her to admit that, which she did. but maybe it was because she was jealous of yunjin.
not for taking up your time.
but for being able to touch you and hold you in ways she canât.
holy shit. sheâs not as straight as she once thought.
and she has a huge crush on her roommate.
how could she let reddit comments be right?!
yizhuo stares blankly at the ceiling. you call out from the kitchen, âdo you want white or red wine?â
she stands up from the couch, resolute in her decision now.
no wonder you had looked so offended after she sister zoned you! yizhuo would hate it too if all she was to you was an unnie. she wantedâ no, needed to be your everything.
âyizhuo?â you ask again, examining the two bottles of wine.
yizhuo almost sprints into the kitchen. the sight of you with your hair up, the cute lace white apron wrapped around your waist, and your focused expression. it has her drooling. everything was so domestic.
how hasnât yizhuo noticed this sooner?
âwhite wine please,â she answers when youâre within arms reach.
âare we drinking the whole bottle?â
she stretches out her arms to engulf your body in hers and reads the label on the wine bottle over your shoulder. taking gratification in the way your body shudders, yizhuo hides a pleased smirk.
âhm, should we?â she whispers hotly beside your ear. you shiver before muttering, âmaybe. is tonight a special occasion?â
âi mean, it could be,â yizhuo grins, âyou were promoted recently, right?â
tonight was one of your day-offs, and you came back recently, boasting about the extra time off you got from being promoted. of course that was celebrated with a simple get together with friends. but yizhuo didnât get her own special celebration with you.
âyeah? okay, weâll drink it all then.â
yizhuo smiles into your hair. sheâs never felt happier. knowing that her inner frustrations had been settled finally. you were just trying to get her jealous. a good attempt nonetheless, it worked incredibly well. but now sheâs certain of her own feelings.
âyou smell nice,â she blurts out.
âi used your shampoo. ran out of mine.â
âmhm. smells good.â
yizhuo spots the hint of satisfaction on your face.
âare you complimenting yourself right now?â
âi have really good taste,â she states.
you roll your eyes playfully before detaching her arms but she just slithers them back into place.
âning, i have to cook.â
âhold on,â she mumbles, âi think we can celebrate another thing.â
sensing your confusion, she continues brazenly, âwe can celebrate our first night as a couple, right?â
âwhatââ
âiâm sorry for being so oblivious this whole time. i got so pissy because i was jealous. apparently, iâm not straight. or i just like you, i donât know yet. all i know is that i envision myself by your side,â yizhuo explains, âeverytime you mentioned yunjin i got upset and itâs because i thought you guys were dating. thatâs why i didnât like any of the girls you brought home either. iâm sorry for saying youâre like my sister. i like you a lot. not in a straight girl way.â
she hears you gasp and she canât bring herself to continue without your reaction. yizhuoâs been through so much struggle with coming to terms with her identity and feelings and now she wants to get it all out.
âare you serious?â you ask without facing her. she chuckles at the redness at the tips of your ears.
âyeah. sorry for being a jerk. it was because i like you.â
âning yizhuoâ i⌠wait, let go of me for a minute. i wanna look at you.â
reluctantly, she does so.
you look so pretty under the kitchen light, yizhuo thinks.
âuhm, where do i even start?â you chuckle awkwardly, âi really thought you were into me when we first met and when you said you were straight⌠i think my heart died a little! but itâs okay, since youâve been such a great friend to me. i must admit that yunjin did volunteer to be my plot device to make you jealous. i was hurt when you were being rude, so iâm happy you apologised. i like you too. a lot.â
yizhuo grins, heart beating wildly against her chest.
âcan you say that again?â
âi like you a lot, yizhuo. canât believe you called me a sister though.â
âi said i was sorry!â
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 7 hours ago.
LAST UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommateâs (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. sheâs one of my best friends but now iâm wondering if i could be homophobic.
hello! iâm glad to announce that this situation has finally been settled with a happy ending. i would like to give you guys a proper explanation and ending for all the help you provided.
first of all, yes, iâm not straight. or maybe i just like A. i havenât explored that part yet but also, iâm in love with my roommate. i was jealous of all the girls she brought over and i wanted to be the one holding her and making her laugh.
second of all, you guys were right. she was using Y to make me jealous and it worked. so maybe she��s the real mastermind.
and lastly, weâre finally dating. weâve been taking things slow for now since this is all new to me but A has been incredibly sweet and supportive (as she always is). itâs just a new experience but iâm willing to do anything as long as A is by my side.
thank you all for the help and comments!
it turns out i donât have any problems with A kissing girls if itâs me sheâs kissing.
⧠359 | ⊠| 153 comments
#aespa#aespa x reader#aespa x fem reader#ning yizhuo x reader#ningning x reader#yizhuo x reader#ning yizhuo#ningning
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One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".
Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.
That's the TL;DR version of this post.Â
ANYWAY here is the long version
Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".
One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.
Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.
It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.
This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.
People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.
I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.
Anyway if you want to read more:
- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info
-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos
-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.
-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa
- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.
-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge
#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said.#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.#This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people#todd in the shadows#hbomberguy#sarasade text#even I've got those âFandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay menâ comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive#when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm#also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this#cw: transphobia
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How 'The Acolyte' Disappointed Me, and Why the Themes of 'Star Wars' Matter
Someone recently commented on my 'On the Dark Side, the Jedi and the Moral Decay of Star Wars' essay with these words:Â
"A lot of words for saying 'I don't like the newer media, but I won't get into specifics as to why.'"
Okay! I shall then finally clarify those specifics....
That first essay has, so far, been my biggest success on this blog, and it's attracted a number of interesting responses. Full disclosure: I wrote that fresh off the heels of feeling depressed over how the Acolyte ended, and after reading/listening to several of Leslye Headland's interviews, where she went into great detail about her ideas behind the show's choices, the themes she's trying to get across, and what personal baggage she brings to Star Wars.Â
Why was I depressed?
Because the show's finale ended with the deeply problematic implication that Osha, by killing Sol and joining Qimir, has achieved true self-actualization. As Leslye herself put it, it's a 'positive corruption arc.' Interesting way to phrase it.Â
Furthermore, Vernestra's actions that frame Sol for several murders, all to protect her own reputation, and to avoid oversight by the Senate, confirmed one of the things that I was really worried this show would do as soon as we began learning plot details, which is that it's leaning into this very persistent edgelord take that the Jedi are actually big ol' bastards not worth seeing as heroes.Â
It's the Dave Filoni gospel of the Jedi Order as a morally broken and fundamentally hypocritical institution, a decaying monument to religious hubris, who brought about their own destruction with their arrogance and so-called rejection of emotion making them lack empathy.Â
This is, as many of my followers know already, a giant misreading of George's storyline in the prequels, and what he was actually telling us about the Jedi's philosophy and code. And in my experience, it gets us some vicious pushback when we try to inform fans of it, even if we back it up with proof of George's words.Â
George really did intend the Jedi to be the ultimate example of what a brave, wise, and all-loving hero should be, and are very specifically inspired by Buddhist monks. They do not 'repress emotions': they learn to regulate their emotions, so as to not let the negative ones feed the Dark Side, and they have the moral fortitude to focus on their spiritual duty. They're professionals that have dedicated themselves to a higher calling, and who still feel and display the same emotions we all feel, unless I watched very different movies from everyone else. We see that Jedi characters can still crack jokes, cry when they are sad, become scared or anxious, feel strong love and loyalty to their peers, and can even be righteously angry in some situations BUT always knowing when to pull back.
The Jedi of the prequels were victims of manipulation by Palpatine, and were caught in between a rock-and-a-hard-place with the Clone War, and they were ultimately destroyed not by their own actions, but by the treachery of Anakin Skywalker, who failed to overcome his own flaws because he refused to really follow the Jedi teachings, and was gaslit by Palpatine for decades on top of that.Â
Leslye's take on Star Wars, based on how she wrote the story of the Acolyte, is that "yup, the Jedi were doomed to destroy themselves by being hypocritical and tone-deaf space cops," and she also outright compared them to the Catholic Church (this reeks of Western bias and misunderstanding of Eastern religions). The one that really stunned me, was when she said she designed Qimir to be her own mouthpiece for the experience of being queer and suppressed, who isn't allowed to just be her authentic self in a restrictive world. Which, to me, implies that Leslye wanted to depict the Dark Side as actually a misunderstood path to self-actualization that the Jedi, in keeping with their dogma of repressing emotions, only smear as 'evil.'Â
Let me remind you all: Qimir is officially referred to as a Sith Lord, by Manny Jacinto, by Leslye, etc. And what are the Sith, exactly?Â
Space fascists. Intergalactic superpowered terrorists. Dark wizard Nazi-coded wannabe dictators, whose ideology is of might-makes-right, survival of the fittest, and the pursuit of power for power's sake. To depict followers of this creed as an analogy for marginalized people who have literally been targeted and murdered throughout history BY the real-life inspirations for the Sith.... I find revolting and tone-deaf by Leslye.Â
SO.... seeing how that show ended, and reading up on how Leslye intended it to be interpreted (Osha's 'triumph' over the 'toxic paternalism' of Sol/the Jedi in general), really put me in a funk, because deep down, I could just sense that this was not at all compatible with the ethos of Star Wars. It made me go on a deep-dive into the BTS of the writing of the prequels and George's ideas about the Jedi, and it's how I discovered the truth that Dave Filoni has been pretty egregiously misrepresenting George's themes for several years now, usurping George's words with his own personal fanfic about the motivations of characters like Anakin, or Qui-Gon, or the Jedi Council, etc.Â
His influence on the franchise has caused this completely baseless take on the Jedi to become so widespread as to rewrite history for modern fans. Who are utterly convinced now that this anti-Jedi messaging WAS George's vision all along, and they get real mad at you if you show them actual proof of that being a lie.Â
And the Acolyte is perpetuating this twisting of the very core of Star Wars. This is what I meant by the 'moral decay of Star Wars.'Â
The Star Wars saga was made by George Lucas in 1977 to accomplish these specific tasks:Â
To remind people of what it really means to be good.
What evil actually looks like, and how it comes from our fears and greed.
To teach kids how to grow up and choose the right path that will make them loving, brave, honest people that stand up to tyrants.
To give the world a story that returns to classic mythological motifs and is fundamentally idealistic, to defy the uptick in cynical and nihilistic storytelling after the scandals of Vietnam and Watergate broke Americans' belief in there being such a thing as actual heroes anymore.Â
THAT is the soul of Star Wars. That is what George meant for this remarkably creative universe to say with its storytelling. But I sincerely think that what the Acolyte told, was that morality is relative, the heroes of this saga are actually bastards, the fascist death-cult is misunderstood, and a young woman being gaslit into joining said death-cult is a triumphant girlboss moment. When it actually comes across as the tragedy of a broken person choosing the wrong path that will only make her miserable, full of hatred and powerlust, and hurt innocent people along the way.Â
The Acolyte betrayed one of George's most critical lessons: that the Dark Side ruins people, and if you want to truly become your best self, you must choose the path of Light, and the Jedi are the ones who have best mastered that path. So if the future of Star Wars is to continue framing the Jedi and their teachings as some corrupt and immoral system that is making the galaxy worse, then I would rather stick to rewatching the classic scripture of Episode 1-6. George wrote a complete and satisfying story, that is thematically consistent, and in my opinion should have been allowed to rest.Â
I will not hate on new fans that love the new material, but I will pity them if they really think any of this is actually faithful to George's vision (they may very well simply not care, either, which troubles me too), and I am afraid of a show like Acolyte teaching young people to see the Jedi's philosophy as wrong, and the Sith as having a point.Â
(P.S. I have a moral duty to clarify this, given the discourse around the show: No, this is not a problem with 'wokeness,' or diversity, or representation; that side of the fandom is very sick in the head and not to be taken seriously.Â
It's a problem with Leslye's themes and tastes as a storyteller, being fundamentally against the ethos of Star Wars and how it soured the entire show in hindsight for me... a show that I was actually really liking, before the finale dropped its thematic nuke.)
#star wars#star wars thoughts#george lucas#the acolyte#star wars prequels#star wars the acolyte#dave filoni#jedi order#the acolyte critical#pro jedi#leslye headland#leslye headland critical
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BRO?$!&?& OAAA I SAW YOU WERE OPEN TO ADAM REQUESTS AND OHHH. MY SNAP.
i am in desperate need. of adam smut.
NOW, WOULD IT BE OKAY FOR ME TO ASK FOR ADAM SMUT WITH A SUBMISSIVE FEMALE SINNER READER WHO IS:
usually shy nervous as fuck but absolutely watches him when he thinks he isn't looking
likes to compliment him in general (at the most random times too, despite the dickmaster being the FUCKING WORST, and she would get that but he IS kinda fine so)
touch-starved, incredibly easy to fluster and tease (bro has a thing for his voices and looks too, one word or look and she'd be on her knees)
pretty insecure in general (and is a sucker for being praised in bed)
I'd also specifically like to hear what he would say to the reader ESPECIALLY THAT IDFK AAA GO CRAZY
Adamâs Sinner
Part 1/3 Part 2
A/N: I was so fucking happy to get a request you donât even understand. Anyway here it is, I hope I did it justice and you enjoy it!
Warnings: Smut
Adam had been aware of (Name) for about ten years. They met during the extermination, Adam cornering her in an alley. Something compelled him to spare her, and yes he realized what a hypocrite that made him. Poor Vaggie. âFucking run, bitch.â She bolted. Adam looked around to make sure no one had seen.
The next year, Adam noticed (Name) watching him, hiding behind corners and in shadows. She did this during every extermination for about five years before Adam decided during one extermination to confront her.
(Name) peered around the corner of the dark alley she was hiding in, watching Adam kill a fellow sinner. It should disgust her, but ever since he spared her life she had a strange sort of attraction towards him. Adam looked up and (Name) ducked back behind the wall. When she peered out again, Adam was nowhere to be seen.
âWhatâs up, sugar tits?â
(Name) yelped, jumping when Adam appeared behind her. He put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, effectively caging her in. (Name) could feel her face heating up. Adam seemed to find it amusing. âFlustered?â (Name) swallowed.
âYou know Iâve seen you watching me for the last few exterminations. Whatâs up with that, hm?â
(Name) had no answer.
âWhatâs your name?â Adam asked.
â(Name),â she answered quietly. Adam had to bend down to hear her. His proximity made her blush worse, and he snickered. âI think I figured out why. No surprise really, of course youâd want a piece of the first man in existence. Iâm the fucking Dickmaster.â
He let her go shortly after their exchange, but confronted her again the next year. As years passed, Adam would spare thirty minutes every extermination to talk to (Name). He found himself becoming fond of the sinner. Her story of how she ended up in hell was interesting, and it definitely helped that she stroked his ego with compliments.
Adam found himself looking forward to seeing (Name) even more than he looked forward to the exterminations. He was grateful Lute hadnât caught on.
A few years later, and Adam noticed (Name) wasnât following him as she normally would. So he sought her out. Sheâd told him a few years ago where she lived, so that was the first place Adam checked. Sure enough, he found her there.
âSup.â
(Name) jumped. âAdam!â
âWhat the fuck, babe, not interested in seeing me this year?â Adam placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt, although while heâd never admit it, it actually did hurt him.
âWe canât see each other anymore,â (Name) announced, looking away.
âBitch why?â
âBecause one of these days weâre going to get caught. I know what happened to Vaggie. What would happen if the exterminators found out their leader was socializing with a sinner?â
âYouâre not like the other sinners,â Adam argued. âIâd show them that.â
âHow?â
Adam was quiet.
âExactly. And to be honest, I canât take the emotional torture anymore.â
âThe fuck are you on about, âemotional tortureâ? Come on babe-â
âAdam no. I canât let myself get any closer to you. We only see each other once a year and I got attached, and dealing with only seeing you once a year has gotten too painful.â
Adam was rather taken aback by the confession. He felt the same way but had been gaslighting himself to believe he didnât. For once in his life, Adam couldnât find anything to say. He decided the best course was the course of action rather than talking.
He leaned down and abruptly pressed his lips to (Name)âs. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened. When Adam received no response on her end, he pulled back, worried heâd fucked up. She stared up at him with this look on her face that Adam couldnât place. He didnât know if it was positive or negative.
âAgain,â she finally spoke in a small voice. A smirk stretched across Adamâs face, and he bent down once more to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back this time, almost desperately, and Adamâs arms wrapped around her waist. She shuddered and he pulled back.
âAre you okay?â No teasing or cursing.
âYeah I just⌠I havenât had anyone touch me like this in a long time.â
Adam couldnât say the same, but this was the first time in a long time emotions had been involved. He kissed her again and snuck his tongue into her mouth as she kissed back. âI want to fuck you,â Adam mumbled against her lips. âOkay.â
Adam pushed her down on her bed, crawling on top of her. He reconnected their lips and slid a hand under her shirt. âDamn,â he commented when his wandering hand reached her chest. âNice rack.â (Name) rolled her eyes. Adam began kissing down her neck, sucking and biting to leave his mark. (Name) moaned and grabbed onto his horns.
Adam pulled back to shed his robe, and (Name) yanked her shirt over her head. Now that Adam actually had eyes on her chest, he stared for a moment. âSo pretty~â he cooed. (Name) blushed and swallowed.
âOh~â Adam realized. âYou like that, donât you? You like being praised?â
(Name) looked away. Adam grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. âDonât be embarrassed, babe, itâs cute.â He returned to her neck, kissing down and down, her shoulder, her collarbone. Then he slid down slightly to press his face between her breasts. He laid more kisses on her chest before taking a nipple into his mouth.
Sensitive, (Name) arched her back and whimpered. âI like that noise,â Adam said, moving to the other breast. âMake it again.â He sucked and she whimpered.
Adam was aware he had a short window of time to make this work, so he pulled back and pulled down (Name)âs pants and panties in one swift motion. (Name) got embarrassed being so exposed, so Adam quickly shed his own pants and boxers to level the playing field.
He noticed (Name) staring at his dick and smirked. He took it in his hand, pumping it a few times for show. âYou like what you see, baby? Of course you do. Canât beat the original dick.â
He crawled on top of her again, nudging her thighs apart with his knee to settle between them. He reconnected their lips while his hand traveled down to the place she wanted it the most. âSo wet for me, good girl,â Adam teased. Flustered, (Name) shut him up with another kiss.
They made out while Adam experimentally slid one slender finger into her. Met with no resistance, he added another one, and began languidly pumping them in and out. (Name) was shaking. Eager to hurry this along, Adam added another finger. Three stretched her out and she moaned against his lips at the sensation. It made Adamâs dick throb.
He fingered her, with his thumb circling her clit, until he decided she was well enough prepared, pulling his hand away. (Name) whined at the loss but was quickly shut up by Adam grabbing her legs and throwing them over his shoulders. She gasped. Adam lined himself up with her entrance and sunk in slowly, giving her time to adjust. She squirmed, his girth proving to be a little painful to take.
Adam reached between them to give her clit attention, and that loosened her up right away. He bottomed out with a groan, closing his eyes. âFuck, babe, youâre so tight.â Adam kissed her again, basically bending her in half as he began thrusting. He swallowed her whimpers and moans while his pace picked up in speed and intensity.
He had tried to be slow and gentle, he really had.
Adam set a brutal pace, and (Name) clawed at his back as he pounded into her. âFuck, yeah, youâre so good for me, tits. Such a good girl, all mine,â Adam talked as he fucked her, and his every word brought (Name) closer to the edge. âYou feel so fucking good.â
Adamâs thrusts were getting sloppy as he neared his own climax. âCum for me,â he murmured. âFucking cum for me, baby.â (Name) did, her back arching off the bed, her head thrown back and mouth open in slack pleasure. Her tightening around him pushed Adam over the edge, and he buried himself as deep as he could, cumming inside her.
They both panted, holding onto one another as they came down from their highs. Adam pulled out and rolled off of (Name), collapsing onto the bed next to her. He pulled her into his chest and covered her with one of his wings, nuzzling his face into her hair.
âIâll find a way to see each other more,â he muttered. âIâll figure something out.â (Name) buried her face in his chest. âPromise?â Her voice was muffled.
âPromise.â
#hazbin adam#adam x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin charlie#hazbin husk#hazbin vaggie#hazbin vox#x reader#hazbin lute#hazbin hotel
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Insane to me how Eda must've said yes to Luz asking to stay with her at the Owl house, because she could relate. Because at her exact same age, Eda also struggled with a mother who meant well, but was ultimately doing something that hurt her out of misguided intentions. And because she felt betrayed and didn't want to go along with that plan, Eda also ended up running into the woods outside her home, only to stumble across the portal in the ruins of a Clawthorne ancestorâs home, and go through it despite what her mother had planned. And in doing so, she found independence and began her journey into discovering herself.
So no wonder Eda let Luz do the same. Even if she didn't know her whole story yet, Eda must've picked up on a couple details with Luz deeply resonating with her "Us weirdoes gotta stick together" motto, as well as encouraging the Conformatorium prisoners that nobody should be punished for who they are. The way Luz said that, Eda must've realized she was projecting/relating to them hard. So Eda saw all she needed to, and that's why she let Luz stay.
Her telling Luz to go back to her "real" family in the season 1 finale hurts even more because of this, because I wonder if Eda missed her mother at the moment too. So she wanted Luz to have a good relationship with her mother that she couldn't have. She wanted Luz to treasure that while she could still have it. And at the same time, I wonder if Eda felt as if she was betraying herself by being a hypocrite, telling Luz to stay with her mother when Eda herself hadn't done so and would continue not to.
But then Luz stays for Eda's sake, and she helps Eda get back her relationship with her mother. And Eda helps Luz in making a new portal so she regain her relationship with HER mother. All while lamenting, at one point, that Luz is going to go back to her real family in Eda's Requiem. They're both going back to their biological mothers, so they don't need each other anymore as a substitute. Besides, even if Eda's morals made sense to her at the time, she might've regretted letting Luz in and allowing her to be hurt by the coven.
But Luz and Eda's familial and found relationships aren't mutually exclusive, either!!! And Eda has to remember what she told Luz in Separate Tides, that her life changed for the better meeting this girl! Maybe Eda thinks that she needs Luz, but Luz didn't need her. But she really needed another parental figure, not unlike Manny, to give Luz another perspective to work with, so she could eventually go back to Camila and explain in better terms what she needed. And by the time Luz reunited with her mother, she wasn't able to articulate how she felt, due to a number of other factors outside of Eda's control that made her feel too guilty to ask for that.
Eda meeting Camila was so tense on her part, because she likely though of herself as an irresponsible stranger who kidnapped Camila's child and got her so terribly hurt and traumatized; At least, she couldn't blame Camila for thinking that way. Eda probably felt that way about herself, sometimes. But Luz needed her moms to get along, it'd mean so much to her, so Eda brushes aside the self-pity and presents herself as Luz's other family; Similarly, Camila has already opened her mind to the Boiling Isles because she can tell how much this place and its people mean to Luz. So even if they had different ideas on how to help Luz, they've since made their consensus by listening to Luz herself, and have gotten together over this mutual love.
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Be My Guest
Pairing | Kate Carter x Tyler Owens
Summary |Â One time Tyler stays in Kateâs guest room and one time she stays in his
Warnings | discussions of trauma/injury associated with storm chasing, SMUT 18+
W/C | 6.6k
A/N | We wanted to hop into the Twisters fandom before it took ao3 by storm and this is *so far* what we've come up with. So...if you feel it... -smoe <33
AO3 |Â Link
Donations | LinkÂ
Hers
She came home for safety, familiarity, to find her way forward but instead, she found herself more lost than when sheâd arrived.Â
It was only supposed to be a week. Sure, Kate thought it would be difficult to be back in the field but she hadnât anticipated this. She hadnât anticipated him. It shouldnât matter. She had a job in New York, a life, a stable, safe job, her own apartmentâeverything she needed. But was it everything she wanted?Â
What Tyler had said crossed a line but that didnât mean it wasnât the truth. It was just something she probably already knew, deep down, and hadnât wanted to accept. She was running away from the storm but she should know better than most that it would always catch up.
With an aggravated sweep of her arm, all of her past research was on the floor, pages floating around her before finding a place to land. She almost immediately regretted the mess but it had felt good. For the last five years, sheâs avoided risk but now it almost feels hypocritical to say that she misses it.
Kate bent to gather the papers but only grabbed a few before stopping at her Cloud Physics notebook which had fallen open to a familiar page. She sat down in front of it and traced the impressions of her writing on the pages. It was too much to retrace her steps, to consider what had gone wrong. She needed to get out of her head and she couldnât do that without getting out of this damn barn.
She knocked lightly on the kitchen door so as not to startle her mom. Being an adult, Kate felt an aversion to putting these things on her mom. Her mother had always been supportive, even when knowing her daughterâs passion was actively putting her in danger. Maybe she just didnât want her mom to repeat the same sentiments as Tyler but she also knew she wasnât about to come to any decision without some guidance. Just like seeing her middle school science project again, she felt like a child standing in the kitchen.
âKate?â
âYeah, itâs just me.â She sighed and pulled out the chair at the dining table that had always belonged to her. The smell of whatever her mother was stirring made her stomach grumble. âWhereâs Tyler?â
âOh, he drove pretty far so heâs getting cleaned up.â Kate could tell her mom was trying to sound uninterested, maybe for her sake but still she asked, âWhatâs his story anyway?â
âHeâs just some internet star from Arkansas,â She explained, picking at a stain on the table. For a moment she thought about leaving it at that but the fire he had lit in the barn was still burning inside her. Sardonically, she added, âHeâs made a living as a so-called âTornado Wranglerâ but so far heâs only shot some fireworks into a cyclone and nearly killed the reporter signed on to cover him and his team.â
Her mom chuckled and replied, âSounds like a man looking for a thrill to me.â
Again, she felt like a child relaying the latest gossip from the schoolyard but she couldnât help but continue.
âAnd his whole team is this ragtag group of people whoâve never been to school for this either!â
âI see.â
âI mean sure heâs studied meteorology but they could get seriously hurt.â Kate had busied herself by fiddling with a napkin sheâd pulled from the homemade holder. The shreds of it were getting smaller and smaller. âTheyâre no professionals.â
Her mom hummed, acknowledging her annoyance but countered with, âWell he doesnât seem too bad to me, he did drive all the way here.â Although her mother graciously spared her the âfor youâ that they both knew completed that thought, she felt its weight. It was easier to make him seem unlikeable than tell her mom that it was her that was in the wrong.
âYouâd believe me if you saw the shirts he sells, his face all sprawled across them.â Kate laughed, thinking of the cheesy slogans. It wasnât lost on her that she had assumed the worst of him. She thought back to what Lily had said and felt ashamed. âThough,â She conceded, âthe money does pay for food for the aftermath survivors. They were handing it out at the last town we were in after the tornado hit.â
âNot all bad then?â Her mother turned fully to face her and Kate knew her teasing expression said all she needed to know.
âI guess not.â
_ _ _
Dinner had been passable, if not enjoyable. Kate had figured it would be awkward, that the dynamic between her and her mom would be offset by Tylerâs presence but it had flowed easily. The only gripe she had was that her mother had gone over her head to invite him to stay the night. In her ideal world, she wouldâve ushered him out right after dinner saying a quick thanks for his concern but sending him on his way knowing that sheâd never have an obligation to speak to him again.Â
Tyler had, of course, helped her mom with the dishes, leaving her to watch awkwardly so as not to take up unnecessary space in the small kitchen. Sheâd shot him a tight smile as heâd excused himself to his room for the night.Â
âWell,â Her mom said from the doorway, âIâm off to bed. Shut the lights, will you?â She didnât wait for an answer as she made her way past the living room to her bedroom.Â
Kate tapped her fingers sporadically against the table, the sound echoing in the quiet house. She hadnât been fully present for dinner. Every time she looked at Tyler she could only think about what she was doing wrong, what she was missing. As much as she resented the fact, there was no way she could make peace with the past couple of days if she didnât get in another word with him.
She flipped the last of the switches off and made her way up the stairs, avoiding the ones she knew were extra creaky. At the landing, Kate considered just going to her bedroom but her feet kept their integrity and trudged her towards the guest room.
Her hand was poised to knock when the door opened.
âKate?â The sound of his voice combined with the unexpected image made her jump. Whatever she had been prepared to say had left with her surprise but Tyler was already speaking again. âListen, what I said in the barn was out of line I shouldnât haveââ
âNo you shouldnât haveâŚbut you werenât wrong either.â
Stepping back, he opened the door a bit more and though it wasnât quite an invitation. It was a line she wasnât sure she wanted to cross with his apology and her admittance the gist of what sheâd hoped for. She promised herself that if he didnât try to say anything else, sheâd just turn around and walk away. He bit his lip, seeming to wrestle with something the same way she was.
âWhatâs the story behind you and Javi?â The question surprised her and she felt a vague excitement about his interest or rather the fact that he was interested at all. But the story itself was not something she was sure she could share.
âWe met in college, he was friends with myâŚmy boyfriend at the time.â
Tylerâs eyebrow raised in a silent question before he said, âAnd your boyfriend he wasâŚâ
She couldnât stand in the hallway any longer where she was fully open to his scrutiny whether the story inspired pity or something else. Kate stepped past him into the room and started to explain,
âHe was in the accident, along with two of my best friends.â She folded her arms across her chest, in a way trying to shield herself from the memories. âWe were testing the polymer on what we thought was an EF1 butââ
âIt was an EF5.â She nodded and his lips shifted into a sympathetic frown. Kate sat on the edge of the bed so that she didnât have to face him head on.
She continued with, âSo, I quit school and packed up to New York. Javi went back to Miami but because of the outbreak he thought he could use a second pair of eyes and invited me on.â From her peripheral, she could see the way he nodded along as she spoke, the genuine compassion still written in his features. She shrugged, unwilling to allow herself to feel the extent of the situation and the memories in front of him, âNone of it matters though, Iâll be back in the city by the end of the week anyway.â
âYou mean youâre giving up?â Tyler asked like it was somehow a personal affront to him or some greater injustice. Kate wasnât sure what he cared. Theyâd only just met and he didnât know her, not really.Â
âIâm not giving up. I canât live like this again, risking my life every day.â
âBecause of the accident?â The way he said it, like it was only a passing moment and not something that monumentally changed not only her life but her, made her response sharp.Â
âYes, because of the accident.âÂ
He was unshaken by her hostility and placed a hand lightly on top of hers where it sat between them on the bed.
âKate, Iâve seen people get hurt too, Iâveââ She couldnât listen to this, couldnât have him reduce her experience by comparison. If he thought this was the way to change her mind, he was sorely mistaken.
âYeah, Tyler, well I got hurt. I watched people die, and Iâll bear those scars for the rest of my life.â Her body filled with tension of the memory as her breath began to quicken. She let the anger take over, the simplicity of it easier than the complicated truth. âI don't know why I evenââ
 âHold onâKate!â
Kate could feel the air his failed reach created as he tried to grab her wrist to stop her. She was fast though, spurred on by the singular goal of getting the hell away from him. When she made it to the threshold of her room, she moved to shut the door. It almost slammed fully closed but groaned as the wood crashed into the foot heâd managed to snake in.
âGo to bed,â She demanded.
âSo what, youâre going to help Javi line the pockets of Riggs for the rest of the week? The real estate shark that's directly profiting off the suffering of these people?â It seemed he couldnât help, was adept at, pushing her buttons. If she were any bolder, sheâd have already struck the self-righteous expression off his face.
âI didnât know about that, I would have neverâthese are my people but this isnât the way, the polymer didnât work and people died because of it.â
âMore will too, but only if you donât do anything.â He tried to reach for her again but she shrugged away, âIt could work. Together we could do this.â Tylerâs expression was pleading, his eyes urging her to make the right decision.
âGoodnight, Tyler.â
His
The flight was thankfully uneventful and much easier than her last flight to Oklahoma when sheâd been dreading the very idea of her return. There were still memories that haunted the place she called home but now she could rest assured that they werenât losses for nothing and that she may very well be able to save someone, hopefully many someones, from the same suffering she had endured for years.
Kate dragged her suitcases through the airport and the bustle of people coming and going made her feel oddly comforted. New York was easy to get lost in and for the time, it was exactly what she needed. But it had only ever been a place she ran away to and after a while she was running too fast to ever see it for what it was. Here, in Oklahoma, she was home.
She made her way out to the pickup lanes and was met with a calm blue sky, one that she knewâor maybe even hopedâwouldnât last. At the five-minute mark, Kate was unbothered. By ten, she considered concern. By twenty, she was on the phone. It took three calls getting sent to voicemail before her mother picked up on the fourth.
âHey, are you alright?â She tried not to sound too concerned but it wasnât like her mother to forget an obligation or to not pick up the phone.Â
âOh, sunshine, Iâm fine. Itâs my truck thatâs acting up,â Her mom replied. âI was on the road already when it decided to quit on me. Iâm not sure how long repairs are going to take. You want me to call someone for you?â Kate sighed, more relieved by her motherâs well-being than bothered by the situation.
âNo, donât worry about it,â She answered, âAs much as you donât like it, I am a big girl. I can take care of it.â
âI know you can, baby. Donât worry about making it here tonight, just take care of yourself.â
They exchanged âI love youâs before it sunk in that actually did have to take care of it. She found herself a spot on a nearby bench and tucked her luggage in beside her. Scrolling through her contacts, her thumb hovered over Javi before something urged her to keep going. Kate wasnât sure if this was a bad idea but lately, she could handle a little risk.
âHello?â She bit her lip, knowing this was her last chance to turn back. Still, he might not even be around or available to get her.
âHey, Tyler?â
âUh, yeah?â His voice was in performance mode, his uncertainty no match to his inherent charisma. Kate found herself filled with an urgent hope.
âIt's Kate, Kate Carter.â
âKate!â She could hear the smile in his voice. It was the first time sheâd called him since he gave her his number and she was just beginning to regret not using it sooner. âWhat uhâŚwhat's going on?â
Her stomach flipped at the realization that she had to explain herself, that she wasnât just calling him. Oh god, was this a mistake? Kate had thought there was something there when they were saying goodbye but maybe this was pushing it. Â
âAre you in Oklahoma by any chance?â
âI am actually,â Tyler replied before he, with a hopeful tone, asked, âAre you here?â
âDo you think you could pick me up from the airport?â She fought the urge to cross her fingers like a little girl. It wouldnât be the end of the world if she had to call Javi but she couldnât help but want to see where this path led.
âOf course!â Her chest tightened, a mix between excitement and worry. âIs everything alright with your mom?â Kateâs cheeks flushed, touched by his concern.Â
âYeahâtruck just wasnât starting, donât worry,â She said, hoping she sounded nonchalant.
âAlright then, Iâll be there as soon as I can.â In the background, Kate could hear his keys jingling already and she smiled to herself.
âThanks so much. Bye.â
_ _ _
Kate had been inside, sitting at a cafe when her phone buzzed in her pocket, Tyler letting her know that heâd made it. She tossed out her empty coffee cup before regathering her things and taking a deep breath. If she was being honest with herself, she was excited to see him but she didnât want to endure the inevitable teasing sheâd be subject to should she seem too eager to be in his presence.
The sliding doors opened and it took her a minute to spot the familiar red truck. Her eyes followed the path to where Tyler was busy basking in the attention of an adoring fan. What more could she expect?
âAnd did you want this signed cause I could definitely sign this for you.â
He didnât notice as she siddled up, even with the rumble of her suitcases on the concrete. She shook her head at the display of his âTornado Wranglerâ persona and thought better than to let him off the hook.
With the exaggerated voice of a dedicated fan, she implored, âOh my goodness! Is that Tyler Owens? I am your biggest fan!â
âThatâs me darlinâ, what can I do forâKate.â He cleared his throat and straightened out his posture, putting on the real Tyler at the sight of her. Kate bit her lip, sparing him the laugh that threatened to escape her.
âTyler,â She said, âYou look good.â
âWell, I feel good.â Tyler stood with his hands on his hips, the two of them alone now and it seemed neither of them knew just what to say. She laughed at his remark and began to heave her luggage into the bed. Before she could lift the larger of the two bags, Tyler was stopping her with a hand on her wrist. Kate looked up at him, confused.Â
âDonât make me make you get in the truck.â She glared at him, gauging whether or not he was serious. He only matched her expression. âGet in the truck,â Tyler repeated.
Kate rolled her eyes and climbed into the passenger seat. She couldnât help but lean over toward the shift, running her fingers across the buttons. Her pointer finger landed on the tape labeled, âKateâs Barrelsâ and traced over his writing. When the driver's door opened, she jumped at the movement and tore her hand away.Â
âHeaded to your momâs?â Tyler asked, fingers tapping a rhythm onto the wheel.
âUh, no actually just any motel close would be good. Homeâs a bit far and the flight was long. I just want to go to bed.â She reminded herself that that was the only reason.
âIâm close,â He told her. Since when was he close? âI mean you could stay in my guest room and I could take you back to Sapulpa in the morning?â The idea sounded as equally dangerous as it was appealing. With a motel, she was in control of the situation but his place? There was no knowing.
Clearing her throat she answered, âThatâŚsounds fine.â
Tyler tipped his hat toward her and then he was making his way out of the parking spot. For a little while, they sat in comfortable silence, the radio filling the empty space between them. Once they were outside the city, it was comforting to watch as farmland made up her view. The word rattled in her head again. Home.
âSo, how did it end up going with the investors?â He asked. âGood, I assume since youâre back in Oklahoma.â Kate couldnât help but smile knowing well enough already how happy heâd be to hear. Not to mention how happy she was to achieve something sheâd been chasing since the possibility entered her mind.
âYeah, it went very well actually. We uhâwe got a lot of people interested and the offers were so goodâŚI quit my job and sold the apartment. Iâm back, back.â
Tylerâs smile grew to a million watts as he exclaimed, âKate! Thatâs amazing!â
âThank you, weâre really excited.â She thought she saw his grin falter a bit but she couldnât pin down why. Still, after a moment he let out a whoop, honking the horn at the expense of the car in front of them. Kate laughed, placing her hand over his to keep him from doing it again.
âSo, where you planning on living? With Javi?â
âActually Iâm not sure yet. Javi has this new girlfriend from back in Miami and theyâre pretty wrapped up in each other.â His eyebrows raised and she continued, âMy mom's kind of out of the way too. Plus, sheâs thinking of selling since seed prices just keep going up. Says sheâs sick of the weather.â
Tylerâs jaw went slack, exaggerating his shock. âSick of theâSick of the weather?â
âWhat can I say, she doesnât appreciate the beauty of the storm.â Kate sighed theatrically. Her hand went to her forehead in a âwoe is meâ gesture. He chuckled, punching her playfully in the arm.
âOn the topic of prices though, she is right.â Tyler sighed as he turned onto a new street. âThatâs why I bought land and started from the ground up.â
âLand?â She repeated. It hadnât been that long that sheâd been gone. When and more so why had he decided to put down roots and outside of Arkansas for that matter.
âYes, maâam.â His mouth quirked up in a prideful smirk.
âAnd here I thought Iâd be sharing some shitty motel room.â
They pulled into a long dirt driveway, the grass surrounding it still young. While the house was clearly new, the style had a nostalgic feel to it. It was painted a fresh shade of cream and the white wrap-around porch just screamed summer nights. If she didnât know better sheâd think she was going to visit some sweet old lady.
âHere we are, home sweet home.â
Tyler opened her door for her like a proper gentleman and she stepped out into pleasant fresh air. The whole thing was picturesque. Kate supposed she shouldnât really be surprised considering she didnât really know his tastes but the whole thing surprised her nonetheless.Â
She followed Tyler through the front door as he carried her bags inside. The interior was just as sweet as the exterior had been but Kate could see the signs that were uniquely him. There were various piles and pieces of gear strewn about that she recognized from having filled her motherâs house with. Even with the classic style, the appliances and layout were tastefully modern. She was impressed.
Kate stepped into the kitchen which seemed to be the most lived-in room. There were pictures of the Wranglers and what she assumed was his family stuck to the fridge. Her eyes drifted to a bulletin board hung up next to it and tacked up in the center of it was a page ripped out of their article from Ben, one with a picture of her. She could feel her cheeks flush even with him still in the other room. Though she wanted to, Kate knew she wouldnât mention it.
âYou hungry?â She jumped at the sound of Tylerâs voice.
âNo, I couldnâtââ The same look that urged her to âget in the truckâ painted his face and she reconsidered her answer. âStarved.â
Tyler seemed satisfied. He pulled out a seat at the kitchen island where she could have a clear view of him whipping something together. The whole thing felt unnervingly domestic but she enjoyed it all the same.
âThis place is really nice, Tyler,â Kate said. Gesturing toward his tricked-out home officeâthat was maybe a little too nice for a YouTube starâshe pointed out, âGot a nice setup too.â
âYeah, the team has pretty much paired off and they live here and there but we come back for a warm meal more often than not.â
âNot you though?â It had crossed her mind that maybe the sudden home ownership had been a response to some sort of serious relationship. She tried to sound casual since it wasnât really any of her business.
Tyler smiled and shrugged. âNah, a fearless leader has to hold down the fort.â Kate rolled her eyes and laughed at his cockiness. It was better knowing that it didnât run deep. She thought better than to push it but still, she wanted to know what this whole thing was for.
âNo, but seriously, why a house?â
âOklahoma is the past, present and future of tornadoes. Thatâs no secret,â He replied like it was some well-known slogan. Yeah, the outbreak they experienced had put Oklahoma back on the map but Tornado Alley spanned a wide area, including Arkansas.Â
âHow do you figure?â
âWell youâre here, arenât you?â Her stomach sank, trying to decipher the meaning behind what he said. His focus was trained on the pot in front of him like what heâd said was no big deal. What was she supposed to say to that?
Without an answer, Tyler clarified, âYouâve got better instinct than anyone Iâve ever met, better than any Doppler too.â
Heâd turned to her and winked in her continued silence. Kate nodded with a smile like it was casual to her too. She shifted under his intense gaze and thought it was an apt time to break the tension with something sheâd been tossing around in her mind. He laid a plate of spaghetti in front of her before sitting down himself. She cleared her throat.
âI was going to wait to bring this up butâŚI was wondering if you would consider being partners.â
âReally?â The excitement on his face was genuine and Kate could see the surprise too. It made her feel secure in her decision.Â
âJavi and I both have stakes in it but heâs avoiding the field as much as he can right now. Heâs got the business side under control but, like I said, heâs got someone at home whoâd prefer he didnât get blown away.â
Tyler stayed practically frozen in place. Maybe sheâd overstepped her bounds after all. She could tell herself all she wanted that she wouldnât be hurt if he didnât want to partner with her but that didnât make it the truth.Â
âWhat do you say, me and you?â Kate asked, bracing for his answer.
âYou and me,â Tyler replied genuinely and with what she hoped was a hint of awe.
They ate silently, half from hunger and half in consideration of their future. As much as Kate didnât want to admit it, there were other questions lingering between them. When her plate was cleared, he insisted on taking care of the simple cleanup himself leaving Kate to sit idly at the kitchen table, unable to get anywhere else without his direction anyway.
With the dishes washed, Tyler turned his attention back to her but it seemed he had just as much of an idea of how to proceed as she did.
âSo, uhâŚâ She began, uncertain where she was going.
âI bet you probably want to get cleaned up. Thereâs an en suite in the guest room.â
âYeah, great.â As much as she wanted to bolt, Kate got up from the table slowly as if she were as calm as could be. Still, she didnât wait for any instructions as to where to go. She didnât turn back to look at him as she climbed the stairs, internally cursing herself for adding to the awkward atmosphere.
âFirst door on the right!â Tyler called after her because, of course, she hadnât asked.
_ _ _
The warm water had been just what she needed, especially paired with the time away from Tyler to think. As much as there had been a sense of tension between them, her feelings had settled on contentment and maybe even excitement. They were partners now and they had plenty of time to figure everything and anything else out. Theyâd been through hell already and he would help her through it again.
She stepped out of the shower, her feet hitting the plush bath mat, and reached for a towel. Her hand grabbed only air. Upon further inspection, the towel rack was completely unoccupied. Shit.
âUm, Tyler?â Kate called. She waited a few minutes for his response and when it didnât come she yelled louder. âTyler!â She let out a breath when she heard his footsteps on the stairs.
âYeah?âÂ
âThere are no towels in here!â
âShit. My bad, no one has used that bedroom yet,â Tyler explained. His feet were already causing the wood floor to creak when he assured, âIâll grab you one, be right back.â
Kate couldnât believe this was happening. There was a good chance that sheâd expose herself in the exchange. Sheâd even left her clothes on the bed, choosing to strip before going to the bathroom.
A few minutes later there was a hesitant knock on the door.
âHere, I brought you a few. I donât know what you prefer,â Tyler said.
She had to assume that he was smart enough not to look. Heâd been nothing but polite after all. When she opened the door, his eyes were covered by the palm of his hand, and his other arm was extended out to her. Kate tried not to laugh at the look of him.
âThanks.âÂ
Kate wrapped the largest towel around herself and used another to dry the excess moisture from her hair. She pulled the door back open, assuming he was gone but she was met with his figure, eyes still shielded. Nearly bumping right into him, she let out an involuntary sound something between a squeak and a groan. Tyler echoed the sound and quickly flipped his hand so he could see her. She had to assume that his subsequent turning around was motivated by her state of undress.
She didnât know what else to do besides starting to dress. It seemed he wasnât done talking to her just yet. After a moment, he spoke.
âUh, KateâŚI, uh, realized I didnât say thank you just then for considering me.â
âWho else could I possibly consider?â She winced at her own words. By no means did Kate want to sound like she was unhappy, she just didnât want to make it a big deal between them.
âWell, right, I guess thereâs not many storm chasers to begin with and especially not ones whoâve studied meteorology.â Kate could hear the slight hurt in his voice even as he tried to tease and she couldnât blame him. Sheâd said the wrong thing. She quickly finished pulling on her pajama pants so she could focus on the conversation before she said something else she regretted.
âTyler,â She said softly. He still had his back considerately turned to her. Like a kid trying to pass notes in class, Kate tapped his shoulder to get his attention. Tyler smiled as he faced her and it gave her the boost she needed to say what she wanted. âYouâre the reason Iâm doing this in the first place. You believed in me even when I didnât. Weâre going to be helping people and thatâs because of you.â
He was shaking his head before sheâd even finished.
âYou canât believe that, it's your polymer, your ideaââ
She took a confident step forward, the action effectively shutting him up. The closer Kate got the more she angled up at him, his height towering over her. Her hand found its way to his jaw, cupping it gently, her thumb brushing over the stubble of his skin. Before she had the chance to close the distance, Tyler took his chance to capture her lips with his own.
It started slow, hesitant to the possibility of too much too fast but quickly gained momentum as they threw caution to the wind. It had been years since Kate had done this, never quite feeling able to move on from Jeb and the accident but now with a sense of closure and Tylerâs guiding hand she felt ready.
His mouth was eager as their kiss deepened, Tylerâs tongue painting the inside of her mouth, almost as if he was committing it to memory. Their heavy breaths filled the air and neither of them seemed willing to break the kiss as the minutes went on. It wasnât until her fingers played at the hem of his shirt that he broke off, looking down at her through hooded eyes, his mouth swollen and flushed.
âKateâŚâ
The sight was too much and she couldnât help but bring her lips back to his skin. They found purchase at his pulse point, kisses littering his neck as she made her intentions known to him with every touch.
Taking a step back, Tylerâs hands cradled her face and he searched her eyes, looking for what she wasnât sure but when he seemed to find it a smile broke across his face. It was the same smile he sported every time the wind picked up and the radar lit up red: a man ready to face a challenge.
âYou still wanna stay in my guest room?â He asked, though his joking town was limited by his heavy breathing. Kate knew he was teasing but he was just as eager as she was.
âIf you keep up with that attitude I just might,â She replied, smiling ruefully.
âHoney,â Tyler beamed, âall Iâve got is attitude.â
A chuckle escaped her lips and his face turned from cocky to sincere before he leaned in to steal a kiss once more. His hands moved from her face to grasping her own as he led her to what she assumed was his room.
Kate struggled to keep up as he held his hands behind him for her to grasp. She held them awkwardly as the unusual position did not grant her a good grip. The playful air gave her butterflies but also made her feel a sense of safety, knowing that things didnât have to be heavy between them.
Tyler turned, pulling their hands over his head so that Kate twirled around with him. He used the momentum to guide her backward into his room with his hands on her hips, attempting a cheesily seductive smolder. She used her heel to kick the door shut behind them.
Kate walked ahead of him to go sit on the edge of his bed. She could tell he was watching her closely to consider his next move but she enjoyed the idea of playing coy with him. Ignoring him, she took in the space which was surprisingly sparse especially compared to the ground floor.
âWow, real homey in here,â Kate joked, feigning awe at the blank walls
âOh, hush,â Tyler chided, âIt hasnât been that long since we finished construction.â
She put up her hands in surrender and replied, âSure, sure.â He rolled his eyes at her and then his expression became soft again. Tyler walked forward, kneeing her legs open and standing between them. With just a tilt of her head they were kissing again and this time when she grabbed his shirt, he let her take it off of him. Kate paused a moment to take him in, the image one she intended to commit to memory before pulling her own shirt over her head.
The rest of their clothes came quickly but when it was time for her to remove her jeans she hesitated.
âWe donât have to do this.â Tyler reassured her, misreading her reluctance. Kate shook her head.
âIt's not that itâsââ She huffed in frustration and rather than continue to overthink, pulled her pants down in one swift motion, hoping heâd move past the interruption rather than linger on the issue.
Instead, his eyes moved immediately to her lower half and zeroed in on her legâŚher scar. Kateâs stomach began to churn. She knew that he knew the story but she hated that it had to be part of this moment between them. He had been part of making it possible for her to redeem herself, to make sure the losses were not worth nothing. Still, the memories and the physical signs would never leave her. It made her insecure but if he had a problem with it, this wasnât worth continuing.
âIs this fromâŚâ
âYes,â Kate replied flatly. She didnât have anything to prove and she wanted more than anything to move on from this as soon as possible. Tyler looked up from the marred skin on her leg and cupped her face with one of his hands. His eyes were filled with pure admiration.
âYouâre the strongest person Iâve ever met.â
Tylerâs lips were on hers again as he leaned her back into the bed, his body sculpting to hers. She felt a hand trail down her body, over her ass, before he hoisted her leg over his shoulder, his face turning towards her thigh and kissing over her scar as he lined himself up with her entrance. He looked at her until she realized he was waiting for her cue. She grabbed onto his upper arms and nodded, making it clear she was ready.
He was slow with her, caressing in all the right spots and making sure she was comfortable until he was finally fully inside her and they moaned in unison at the feeling. She hadnât felt like this in a long time and when he took a moment to brush the hair from her face it made it all that much sweeter so much so that she laughed. Tyler looked at her, concerned but when she kissed him, he smiled into it catching her drift.
As he began to grind into her, he coaxed mewls from her lips, her hips meeting his instinctually at the pleasure. The way he watched her carefully for her reactions made her heart soar. He made it evident that they were in this together, that he cared about making her feel good. One of Tyler's hands still held her leg while the other found her clit, circling it while keeping pace and she couldnât help the words spilling from her mouth.
âTyler,â Kate pleaded, âDonât stop.â He listened to her demand but she could see how it made him falter. His expression was that of awe as if he couldnât believe that he was here with her, that she was enjoying what he was doing for them. She curled an arm around his neck and played with the hair there in a way that caused him to flush.
âI gotcha,â Tyler promised, somehow pressing them closer together, âI gotcha.â
She couldâve been embarrassed at how fast she came but Tyler didnât give her a chance, instead riding her out through her climax and continuing to thrust even after. It was almost too much as tears of pleasure pricked her eyes and her moans filled the room. Her hands gripped the sheets, his arms, his hair, anything that she could reach to keep hold of her senses as they were overwhelmed. All she could think or comprehend was Tyler.
âIâIâm close,â He stammered, the tremble in his voice radiating throughout his body, âKate, Iââ
Her vision went white when she came again, though she could hear Tyler moan her name like a mantra, his head buried in her neck. One hand reached into his hair while the other traced absent circles on his back. It took him a minute but eventually, he came back to her.
âHey,â He said, letting out a breathy laugh.Â
âHi.â
Tyler pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, clearly savoring the moment. Kate didnât want it to end either but she was confident that it was only beginning. They both let out their own versions of a disappointed noise as he pulled out.
When he disappeared into the ensuite, she pulled his comforter up around her, the scent of him enveloping her as well. He came back with a damp towel and once helped her clean up, he flopped into bed beside her, pulling her into his side.
Kate placed a hand on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat under her palm. Tyler pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She wanted to bask in the moment a bit longer but before she knew it she was beginning to yawn.Â
The last thing she remembered before she fell into a peaceful sleep was the sweet kiss they shared and the soft rumble of his voice.
âGoodnight, Kate.â
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