#so like i relapsed this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiisaes · 1 year

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madeleine 🍪

#love randomly relapsing into crk ... anyway i don't use this guy but i do really like his costume :>#i've been in a shitty art slump for the past week or so #thought i'd switch it up to get me back in it LOL #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk #madeleine cookie #fan art #becki draws stuff n stuff #rendered

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bisexualcherdegre · 4 months

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D:BH Rarepairsweek 7 | @dbhrarepairs

Day 3: Hank/Markus After the revolution, Markus and Hank are both trying to deal with the new situation they've been handed. Their paths cross.

#dbhrarepairsweek #hank anderson #dbh markus #hank x markus #hankus #??? idk but ive seen someone else at least use this tag so i might as well #detroit: become human #d:bh #dbhrarepairs #aight. this might be the rarest pairing im doing this week. maybe.#IM BRINGING MY HANK/MARKUS AGENDA TO THIS EVENT #IVE BEEN KEEPING IT LOWKEY (the fics are wip) SO FAR BUT. NOW IT IS TIME.#look ive been examining these two in my brains for a while now. it makes sense to me.#you will understand my vision.#i was debating writer a longer caption but once again: i'd let you fill in the blanks for this one #i might make more specific content for them in the future #like i had even more interesting scenes to use but im doing this gifset for now hehe #MY VIEW ON THIS was like. Connor getting more involved in android stuff because he wants to support Markus #Hank relapses a bit with his mental health issues but manages it better than he has ever done before #Markus who is burnt out and trying to find rest and dealing with his own demons #manages to notice Hank's struggles. Helps him out lowkey. Is interested in him.#then TO BE CONTINUED #I THINK THE IDEA OF THEM TALKING IS SO FASCINATING ALRIGHT #also. obv. if you see this as platonic only then that is up to you i cannot take it from you and feel free to reblog i absolutely wont mind #but to clarify: markus would be down bad for hank. that's MY canon. I know it in my heart.

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angelstrawbabie420 · 3 months

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oh fucking BROTHER i just finished cleaning and had made smth to eat bc i finally convinced myself after all day that i wld feel better if i did (it’s been a HORRIFIC ed day) and i kid you not as soon as i sat down i dropped the whole thing all OVER myself and it FUCKING BURNED and HURT bc it was SCALDING !!!!! and then i had to clean up the ONE thing id convinced myself was okay to eat OFF THE FLOOR I JUST FINISHED MOPPING!!!!!! BROTHER. WHY ME.

#ed tw #dlt ltr #the reason i convinced myself to even eat was bc my hands were too shaky to paint my nails #which is pathetic. dude ur starving lol.#top tier sanity in my house tonite 👍 mental illness banished idk them #i did not however drop the plate from shaking. i was trying to put it on the table but i have horrible depth perception and #awareness of what’s in my vacinity. i drop crap and crash into shit all the time #idk what to do now that honestly threw me off so bad i sat there in silence for a solid minute #BBQ SAUCE ON MY TIDDIES #IT ACTUALLY WAS TOO I WAS FUCKING EATING A RIB PATTY #or i was going to. now idk what im doing.#horrendously sad and pathetic side note why are eds so invasive. ive been fully relapsed w it for like two weeks how did i get to the place #where i’m TERRIFIED to eat anywhere near four digits within days #whatever i need nicotine bye.

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disengaged · 5 months

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alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked

#yeah so i gained 20lbs and started hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago #struggling with weight restoration/relapse urges worse than ever BUT i’m also feeling good about my progress and enjoying myself immensely #honestly didn’t realize how bad i missed lifting #and now that i have time off work i can actually focus on getting my nutrition right (i.e. actually consuming enough protein for once)#pegasus speaks #my face #my ancient ipod camera is shit quality but my abs are starting to show for the first time in like … 1.5 years lol #and im pleased with my anterior/lateral delts! although my pecs need some serious work. wtf #i train chest 2-3x/week and i can still see bones fml #ed ment tw #weight tw #ask to tag #i feel like i’m kind of relearning all my limits. like in terms of physical/mental energy and stuff. idk #doing a lot of research and figuring it out as i go. trying to avoid falling into systemic fatigue etc #i’m already exhausted all the time but my doctor told me i should keep active so. i am #as much as i love the gym i do have to compensate in other areas of my life #if i want to push myself this hard then that’s my choice. but like. i need to give up on doing other things. give and take. spoon theory #etc etc etc

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thebigqueer · 6 days

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literlaly terirble night last night

#first of all the gay party was capped and me and my friend were devastated cuz we were so ready to make out w girls #second of all i went to the other frat that me and my gf met at and guess what. i fucking saw her there #id been there before sinc ewe came back but ive never seen her so far there but idk what i was expecting #not only that but we literally met at the drink station as in full relapse of last sem when we also said hi there and hit it off #so mebarrsing #not only that btu this frat was so good last sem but now its ass so the music wasnt even fun and i wasnt feeling it #and then these ASSHOLE GUYS are mocking me for being an english major. that REALLY pissed me off #AND THEN on my way back im waiting for the bus and she and ehr friends pull up tot he bus stop too #and then i got back to my dorm and just sobbed for like an hour and wandered around voice memoing my friends sobbing #like its so humilaitng its so fukced up how much our breakup is impacting me why cant ijust move on #i know its been like 4 weeks but comeon . im sor eady to be over her i hate feeling this dread #AND THEN im finally like you know closing my suite door and the lock jams so im fidgeting with it and one of her friend makes eye contact w #me. SHE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN TEH SAME BUILDING AS ME!!! WHY WAS SHE THEREEEE #and i literally have tears all over mye yes and i had no idea she was coming so we just made ey contact and then i shut teh door

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cowboyhorsegirl · 12 days

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i hate this stupid fucking country so much and our stupid fucking lack of HSR

#why are things so BAD #death to america is a valid political platform fr #met some guy last week and he was nice but he was also like 'if you can believe it i went to college at a time when i could pay my #way through by working during the summers' LIKE #FUCK #also why is kamala bragging abt reagan's theoretical ghost theoretically endorsing her good fucking god the dems aren't just #cooked they're boiled to shit #i need to get off twitter again i relapsed during the election and i can FEEL it rotting my brain and my attention and i despise it too #about.me #my employer's opinions #I HATE IT!!!! just seeing my 'my employer's opinions' tag reminded me that one day i'm gonna have an employer again and that's the #best case scenario #imagine if there was a way to keysmash that indicated anger and not laughter that's what i'm feeling rn

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piplupod · 2 months

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objectively a stupid thing to get irritated or upset by, but i really hate when people at the centre try to tell me how lucky i am for the life i live or how good i have it, esp when they tell me they had it sooooo much worse when they were my age. they do not know me. they do not know my life. they have no idea what my situation is.

they see somebody who is exceedingly polite and unerringly kind and shows up in nice clothes most of the time. they see that i draw in a sketchbook. they see that i work on the jigsaw puzzle. they see that i hold the door for people. they see that i greet people and ask people questions about themselves in a way that makes others feel seen and heard and appreciated.

now what the fuck are they getting from that that makes them think they know anything about me or my mental health or life situation!!! if anything they should be curious because I share so little about myself with people, I tend to keep things focused on others because that's safest for me. do they not question why i am at the mental health centre so often if i apparently seem like i have such a great life ????

#and perhaps this is oversharing but i have literally been keeping relapse cuts hidden under my sleeves almost all week long lmfao #which feels... fitting for this. symbolism moment lol #also i know people are self-absorbed esp if they have mental health shit going on #and i know i think about others way more than the average person. but like. cmon. do not assume all that shit about me #it was really fucking hard not to snap at this one lady today who is always telling me how lucky i am for what she assumes i have in life #maam allow me to just push up my shirt sleeve like two inches. do you see? shut up! shut up! you don't know me!!!#and i AM aware of how good i have it compared to others. i have food. i have shelter. i have the centre to spend time at during the week.#i have my old lady group once a week if i choose to attend. i have enough social awareness to function somewhat in society #i have some very nice belongings that i get to call my own. clothing that i like. public transit system. some craft supplies.#there are good things. there are privileges that i am lucky to have. i see this and i am grateful for it.#but there is also a lot that i am massively struggling without. safety for one. a family that actually cares for me. mental stability!#emotional stability too lmfao! enough energy to do more than 1-3 tasks in a day! affordable food or perhaps just a form of income!#i dont know. i'm just really tired and frustrated with people. its unfair of me to be frustrated w them bc yeah i guess i do look like-#-i have it together on the outside to people. and all these people struggle with social awareness and etiquette so... sigh.#i should not be annoyed but i am struggling to be patient with these people when they assume this shit about me #because there isn't really anything i can say to them other than nodding vaguely and smiling. like i can't argue lol #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #self harm tw

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aioliii · 3 months

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this year i will get normal about my shoulders!!!!

#having like insane body image stuff relapse this week #so fun but i’m going to get normal i promise

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a-very-zilly-gooze · 3 months

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who up feeling physically ill with how touch starved they are??? i think i might actually die if someone doesn’t hold my hand right now :)))

#actually so miserable rn and this feeling is just compounding it #haven’t been able to sleep well in a week #so fucking angry i think the depression is returning #and just when i thought i had finally gotten a semblance of what better felt like #and i just recently relapsed on ✨other things✨#gooze is ztruggling :)))

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txrtxglix-lvver · 3 months

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idek why I got mad asf lmao I triggered myswkf

#I just #I just don't want Jackie to be hurt #and he felt bad as shit #I didn't need to attack them #idek how I got so fucking worked up #and I mean worked up #I almost relapsed again #I almost attempted sui again #but #I made it ig #istfg there's always something like this happening every day #but idk why Ive been so mad #ive just been so easily pissed lately #and getting incredibly aggressive #I mean it wasn't really that bad yesterday with rens ex and him cheating on her and his main girl texting me #but today #holy fuck #Jackie got attacked ovevslmething he said a week ago #and they made her sad #they made her so fucking upset #I don't have any need to be this overprotective of people #had a fucking breakdown and sent death threats over what #but they keep harassing her #all three of them #they called me fucking mental #mental? really? I'm the mental one here? you haven't even seen me be mental.#I really need to hurt something omfg #all this pent up anger #for what?#I'm just tired ig

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m0thkiller · 11 months

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It just hit me that its been a long time since ive self harmed in August. ive cut it close a few times but im getting close to 100 days clean heresoon. thats like, kinda insane to me.