#someday maybe i can be happy
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It just hit me that its been a long time since ive self harmed in August. ive cut it close a few times but im getting close to 100 days clean heresoon. thats like, kinda insane to me.
#i honest to god never thought id get this far with so few incidents#ive been doing it for like three years and trying to stop for half of that#never beat 30 days#then never beat 50#ive finally gotten past 70 days#and sometimes i still relapse and relapse hard#i was at 72 last time#i really really fucked myself up#burned myself easily over a hundred times#and then in the weeks following didnt even bother counting cuz itd be like every day or two#all said and done once my episode was over i tagged myself 148 times#i counted#i felt so fucking hopeless#like any promise of getting better would just be soothing words to assuage my friends and family before inevitably disappointing them again#but now i actually *feel* like im getting better. im consistently beating personal records#im still not hopeful enough to think ill never do it again#but episodes are getting tangibly less intense and less frequent#someday maybe i can be happy#cw ////
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happy father's day to the emilys
#god why is it so hard drawing my favs like what is THIS#i swear drawing your favorites is so hard compared to drawing anyone else AOIJSDIJOASD IM GONNA SCREAM#anyway maybe someday they'll have the art they deserve to have </3#need to draw them more happy more but that'll be for someday#i love them to pieces can you tell#henry emily#charlie emily#charlotte emily#hidden hands au#fnaf henry emily#fnaf charlie emily#fnaf charlotte emily#fnaf au#fnaf fanart#fnaf#my art
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Love, like sleep to the freezing
My contribution to @sunbunnyyy 's chengyao madness... READ IT!! READ IT!!!
#dont ask me whos rusongs father anymore#cause im not sure i can answer truthfully#chengyao#jiang cheng#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi#im happy about the faces but the rest UHHH maybe ill rework it someday when i know how to fix it
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Why do most of your voice designs have all their faces obscured? Also, could you draw what their faces look like?
This is a fun question! The real answer is a mix between:
- when designing them I wanted the voices to have the same "do they have a beak? Is it just a flat face?" deal that The Long Quiet has
- I wanted to keep the designs halfway between "bird monster" and "humanoid" (this resulted in a lot of them landing in furry territory)
- I can't draw beak mouths so that option was out but I didn't want to draw humans
Likewise, the actual answer to "what would they look like without their masks?" is just, a flat face without a nose. Which is kinda boring even if that's simply how I treat their faces when drawing them! So instead, I interpreted your question as, what would they have looked like if I went the full human route?
Ta-daaaaa! Honestly as interesting as this challenge was, the result is too unnatural for me! Where are my boys?? Who are these guys!?!????
#i wish i had a more “lore” based answer to this question#but i did not ask myself these questions when designing them#maybe someday I'll have one!#but isnt the mystery fun?#i can give you the ACTUAL answer but “story” wise? who knows#theyre certainly not telling!#thanks for the ask! :)#my art#ask#stp#stp voices#voice of the hero#voice of the cold#voice of the contrarian#voice of the smitten#voice of the hunted#voice of the broken#voice of the opportunist#voice of the skeptic#voice of the paranoid#slay the princess#honestly im not super happy with all these human translations? but eh like i said#probably just because im so used to see them with a bunch of feathers
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Another year, here we go!
(prints here)
some wip shots since I know some people like seeing them!
meant to take more screenshots, but ended up super busy and forgot once I came back after a few months, whoops. Making the iceberg itself was super fun!
#happy to be done with this one#started it in like may and then moved states#and everything else in my life happened#the crack gave me hell it was totally different for a while there#wanted to put some red into this one but couldnt figure out how#someday i'll work in colors that arent all blue or all red#maybe green or purple someday#one can dream#i think this year im not gonna do a poster series with a theme#doing the entire pacific division was such a fun challenge and made me be really creative#but hot damn do i get like less than any ideas with the central division#so i think this year im just gonna draw whatever i think is baller#and it wont be connected to the games at all#just fish#anyways#my art#seattle kraken#seattle#nhl#hockey art#hockey#kraken
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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aaa my buddy is slowly pulling me back into tales of vesperia OTL
idk if i have time to play it again anytime soon sadly, but i definitely want to redraw/ revamp some of my old art of it and make some new *3*
suddenly all my memories from loving judith and raven are rushing back to me... ughh i forgot how rare they are but i guess i'm not unfamiliar with super rare ships so
i'll become my own provider once more XD
#delete later#tales of vesperia#idk i just feel like they missed a great opportunity between these two T_T#would have love to see raven breakthrough and have judith being his new flame or something... i want more than just the flirting XD#i almsot wanna make a doujin / fan comic for them T0T plus omg they got my favorite color themes#something bettwen like 20-30 pages...#i hope i can make this old dream happen someday#popular or not i really don't care anymore#if it makes ME happy and who knows#maybe liek 1 other person then its all good#aw fuck i almsot forgot i rly gotta finish those meloghia ones theyve been laying around for the past 5 or 6 yers now UGH
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HAPPY 5/5 DAY RAGHH
I'm alive again for only THIS day to come. I rushed it but I really love James so much he's been in my brain, that fruity ass train.
Extra doodles of him *twirls my hair*
I wanna draw more Edward and James but idk, please help me guys...
Anyways live laugh love James <33
#ttte humanized#james the red engine#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte human au#Happy 5/5#5/5#james the splendid engine#I'm literally going insane bruv#Why is James so damn fruity asf like??#Anyways I wish Edward and James kiss#Someday yall...#Can you guys tell I love James#I wish I can kiss him tho#Exploding him too maybe idk#I'm taking about drawing gordon and Spencer#Cousin enemies haha#Or diesel 10#Sigh I can't choose what to do#I'm literally in art block atm sob sob#ttte#ttte james
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A separate photoset of my kiddo in a world that is colored just like my kiddo. These ones actually turned out really decent! But I couldn't stay long and explore because the heaviness of this world was destroying me and I had to leave as soon as I got my last shot.
#I can see why everyone and their mums went here because it really is pretty#but going here with my headset was too much agghh#also unrelated note to myself maybe someday I'll have to adjust tsux's bones??#they obviously have less rigging that makes some poses look awkward and I'm not sure about their arms being mostly bent#but it's not the end of the world though#I'm just happy she works in this game#vrchat#utau#panloid#tsux namine
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> FERDINAND II.
And so your PLANT shall henceforth be known as FERDINAND II.
The thought of needing to inform FERDINAND I of his having a namesake makes you a bit ill, but you are already hard at work devising several plausible excuses for the gesture. Something about how you've named it after the one most invested in its naming, or how it is similarly prone to drooling. Yes. Yes, you will be able to deflect quite easily, should the need arise. It has nothing to do with your fondness for FERDINAND or your desire for a substitute in his imminent absence, no—again, you are not so prone to sentimentality. It's about the drool.
Well, anyway. Best to move on with your day and think about something else, lest you grow maudlin or cultivate further affection for the PLANT. May the GODDESS be merciful and never cause you to develop inclinations that could be described as paternal.
Now that your plant has received sufficient care, it is time for COFFEE. You set to making your morning brew. By CHANCE, there happens to be sufficient water remaining in the kettle for FERDINAND I to have TEA, should he wish it.
Per your TIMEPIECE, it is now a quarter to eight. You have made excellent progress on your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST thus far: the only remaining task is to remove FERDINAND. You are starting to get rather peckish and would like to be rid of him quickly, but over the past week, you have found that extracting the man from YOUR QUARTERS is a more arduous task than it ought to be.
#007 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS
#fire emblem#hubert von vestra#fe16#ferdibert#hpnd#sterge.pptx#fe3h#sorry this was late lol#late according to the update schedule i don't have#as the poll was wrapping i thought 'wouldn't it be fucked up to make a game where you make coffee.'#never mind that 1. i've barely made any games#2. i had no idea how to make a multi-part game#3. i wanted to turn it around in ~24 hours#i actually Did finish the game in about a day but i still had to write a post and draw the bg + the panel#if the game doesn't work: sorry#it Should work on mobile (android and ios) but it is pretty finicky#it works Better on desktop but that's not saying much#if you run into any showstopping issues: please lmk so i can fix it#did Some bug testing (aka made my friends do it for me) but not a lot lol. again: short turnaround time#i know there's a bug with the message/alert windows if you click through things too fast but idk what i did and i don't really care lol#maybe i'll fix that eventually#i'd like to also make it smoother and add some more animations but i kinda doubt i'll get around to it#pretty pleased as i did the entire game with pure css and no images except the fireplace#idk if that's cool to anybody else but it makes me happy#god dog… that background is screwy. need to fix that.#i will fix it someday. [lie]
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posting these b4 theyre lost to my art folders .. had a lot of fun revisiting these designs :)
#minecraft#minecraft steve#minecraft alex#herobrine#herosteve#i improved on like everyone but i like the change in alex the most tbh#but im happy w all the changes! comparing this to that old post is like Woaah i got so slay#maybe someday i'll draw the new skins? idk. if i can be bothered LOL#my art#anyway i did these over a month ago and theyve kinda just been sitting#i wanted to draw more and dump them all but ive got exams coming up sooo ..
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yayayayaayayaayy im donee with it :33
#u can click the pictures and it would show u videos that i like#i love looking at it :33333#so so happy#i saw you can make pagess maybe ill make pages for my ocs someday#maybe that will finally motivate me to do ref sheets#so fun#frambling...?
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i’ve been listening to nothing but francis forever and i’m your man Mitski for the past six hours so obviously it’s benvolio montague angst time!! i attempted to do some rendering but it’s pretty rough :( someday i’ll get good at rendering. but that day is not today.
characters in order from left to right are valentine, benvolio, and mercutio. designs are taken from Toho 2019 RetJ, white cast. the text and premise are taken from this fic! the original is in russian, and i google translated it into english. btw mercutio never actually appears in the fic but he is mentioned briefly. so i have to draw him now.
alternate versions + closeups under the cut :)
1. without text 2. no text + no funky ghost effects for merc
3. valentine 4. benvolio 5. mercutio
#romeo et juliette#toho retj#toho romeo et juliette#benvolio montague#mercutio#valentine escalus#implied ben/merc??#sure i’ll tag it why not#mercutio x benvolio#bencutio#i love benvolio montague…#not in a romantic way but in a. i need to put his tragic ass in a jar and shake him until he feels happiness again type of way#same goes for everyone in r&j. tbh#cannot stress enough how important toho retj is to me#you should all watch it :)#maybe someday i’ll make a longer post so i can descend into utter insanity over it <3
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30-31: Beginnings of Training
Shioe Monjirou is a senior who is always hard on himself. But Senzou Tachibana-senpai says that Shioe-senpai may actually be the kindest to others...
I FINALLY GOT TO SUBBING THESE!!!!! I'm so excited look at these two!! monjirou pre-eyebags era...
I had some trouble with the audio mixing so if it sounds more defined in one ear than the other. my original mp4 was fine but it got messed up when I imported it and i had the same problem subbing ep 32...hope it isn't too obtrusive!
mega link here: (x)
youtube link here (unlisted): (x)
Happy watching!!
Extra rambling under the cut:
blessed concept art of these two that came with the episode preview. theyre so adorable nnnnnoooooooo ughhhhhh tiny senzou with his shy little smile noooooooo the monjirou expressions nnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo
Caring Monjirou moments are probably some of my favorite in the show...he's strict and a little eccentric but I feel like he's genuinely really kind. he's so sheepish about his past though lol. the first years carrying on the dinner-making idea is so adorable i love that it's kind of a tradition now. when the first year hagumi five years from show canon i hope they can still hang out and make a nice dinner together. actually, i hope the current six years can also get together like they did when they were younger...the day they get another cute cutscene of them all eating and preparing dinner together with them five years later is the day i can finally be happy...nhk...
#rkrn#nintama#nintama rantarou#fansubs#mine#love how hes so happy about being called a gingin ninja but immediately gets embarrassed being called kind monjirou you giant freaking dork#getting all pouty over senzou talking about them in first grade#i have so many thoughts about this episode i want to write them out someday but its not like i can put commentary in subs#so maybe ill livewatch this or something...
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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today i bring to you silly posting of my main oc :) he's just a little guy!
#splatoon#splatoon oc#minatoast#lizzy does art#i finally remembered that i can post about my ocs on tumblr. please perceive the little guy i play as#he's like the personification of my playstyle and gameplay decisions blended together with things i love in fictional characters#i think minatoast would have loved sonic the hedgehog#maybe i'll remember to post about my ocs more someday 🤧 !! i tink about them a lot (iceberg moment)#thank you to anyone taking a gander!!! i'd love to share them more they make me very happy
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