#so it's important to ME that they don't pull tons of relationships

[skemford]

One of my favourite things about bendy is that it doesn't has forced romance

Bendy and Alice? Friends who occasionally annoy each other,as it was portrayed in bendy crack up comic

Buddy and Dot? It was bluntly said that they're not interested in romantic relationships for different reasons; they can simply be friends!

Constance,Bill and Brant have similar things going on; they became close due to the dangerous circumstances they were in

Audrey and the ink demon have shared but different trauma, which has created a connection between them

Even when they do pull off romance like Allison & Tom it's still feels pretty chill and simply exists. Which is really great

[fromtheseventhhell]

Another reason that Stansas hate the idea of Arya and Dany being friends (outside of them wanting to demonize Dany) is that they've convinced themselves that Dany and Sansa are the only main female characters, so if a Stark sister is going to have a significant relationship with Dany it has to be Sansa. Arya being constantly downplayed and treated like an accessory to Sansa has generally led to the consensus that her relationship with Dany will be defined by whatever Sansa's relationship (positive or negative) with her is. That's why Arya is always being left out of the "we were robbed of [x] female character friendship" conversations and why theories about Dany/Arya getting along are treated as Sansa hate; Arya, as a character, is seen as secondary to Sansa by a lot of people

[bunnys-kisses]

Ciao bello, how do you do? I wondered what pastry should I order as it all look so tempting. So, I'd like to indulge myself with some mille-feuille, and hard lemonade to the side, please.

the bakery menu

there's still tons more items on the menu! feel free to submit your own order, i'd love to write more! as for this lovely request, your server this afternoon with be lando norris! thank you again for the combination and i hope it serves your fancy!

mille-feuille (“that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”) + hard lemonade (possessive behaviour) served to you by lando norris (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, dirty talk, possessive behaviour/jealousy, missionary position, naive!reader,

lando never considered himself a jealous man. he believed that you were free to go about life as you deemed fit. he trusted you, he loved you. you were his number one fan and the love of his life.

so why did jealousy rear its ugly head when he saw you go up to max verstappen and pull him into a tight hug. in all fairness, your relationship was still new, you two were still getting to know the nitty gritty of one another. but still, how did you know max verstappen. and not on a casual level, but you beamed at him like you hadn't seen him in years.

lando strode over to see what his lovely girlfriend was doing. he was a bit perturbed how he saw how max had an arm wrapped around your shoulders and he was laughing. it was so painfully casual for the three time champion. it only made the jealousy grow deeper in lando's gut as he smiled at you.

he didn't want to scare off his perfect angel of a girlfriend.

even if she was in the arms of the devil. he took you in his grasp and hugged you tightly. even going as far as to kissed you on the forehead. he looked to max for a moment and raised his eyebrows, "honey." he said, "you should be in mclaren area, not red bull." he laughed, trying to play it all off. he patted your face with affection, but also a bit of ownership, "did you get lost?"

you shook your head, "no, landy." you held onto the front of his racing jacket and looked to him, "i wanted to see max before practice started."

lando nodded, "i see, i see." his gaze flicked to the other man, "how do you know my girlfriend, max?" he was trying his best to keep it cool. he didn't want another incident that was plastered all of the headlines for a week.

max looked to you then back to the other driver, "oh... she didn't tell you."

lando made a face, "tell me what?"

you piped up, "oh yeah! i just thought you knew, landy." you were still holding onto him, "max and i are technically childhood friends! i mean ya know, like a million years ago! remember, my dad was an engineer. he worked with max's dad!"

max said to you, "i see not a lot has changed. always forgetting the important details."

you frowned at max and let go of your boyfriend to punch the dutch driver in the arm, "hey! i'll have you know, i got my university all on my own!"

"and how many deadlines did you miss during your program?"

you wagged our finger at max, "ya know, verstappen. you're very lucky."

max seemed amused and looked to lando, "seems you pick them well, norris. i'll see you two later. good luck out there." then turned away, leaving you with your boyfriend.

lando narrowed his eyes at max, who was walking away, and then turned his attention back to you. he took his cap off and placed it on top of your head. he then placed a hand on the top of your head and said, "don't take this off."

you nodded, you looked so painfully sweet. lando knew that you wouldn't try to cheat on him. but your closeness to max had jealousy curl in his gut.

lando was happy that you kept to your word and wore his mclaren hat till you were on your way back to the hotel. he didn't see you with max for the rest of practice, but it still didn't deterred lando from being in your personal space as he kept a hand possessively on your thigh.

once you were back in the hotel room, lando's hands were all over you. his lips were to your neck and you moaned as you held onto him. you felt a heat throb between your legs as you were herded to the bedroom.

you ended up on the bed with a bounce and knew that lando wasn't going to take it slow tonight. you took off the hat but lando quickly grabbed it and put it back on your head, "wear it. you look good in it."

he then got his shirt off followed by the rest of his clothes, you did the same save for the hat which sat proudly on top of your head. you didn't think you looked good in baseball caps, but lando loved you in nothing but it.

he got between your legs, and leaned over you to grab a condom from the box on the night stand. he put it on with ease, his heart raced in his chest as he gazed at you with such love. but also much possession.

"is there any other drivers i should know about?" lando asked, "i don't want any more surprises."

"what do you mean, landy?"

"i know you two were friends, but you were all over him, love."

you looked at him curiously, "but that's how i greet all my friends."

he stroked his cock, you were so innocent sometimes. he couldn't be upset for too long (even though he barely was to begin with). he looked you in the eyes, and said, "that's how you greet all your girl friends." then placed on hand on your middle and the other on his cock as he slowly sank into your sweet hole.

"mmm, honey." you whimpered.

the warmth of your cunt against him made him shudder. he kept one hand on your stomach and the other on your hip as he started to thrust against you. he swore he could feel his cock inside of you as he bumped up into the deepest parts of you.

"fuck, babe." he groaned. he was hunched over you as he started to work your pussy. his thrusts were short and quick, the hot intensity of his movements made you feel good. he said to you, "i just want you all to myself. the one thing that the likes of max verstappen can't have."

he felt a pull in his chest for you. he just wanted you to be his forever. was that a crime? his thrusts became heavier, he could see the expressions that crossed your face. you looked perfect.

"but i'll always be yours, landy." you confessed to him with sucha sweet smile. it made his cock throb in you as he continued to rut against you.

"that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl." he groaned, "that's my girl, you're perfect. i'm sorry i'm a jealous bastard, i just don't want to lose the best thing i've ever had." he messily made out with you, keeping you pinned to the bed as he rutted against you.

his heartbeat raced in his ears as he continued to thrust in and out of you. you were so perfect for him. you were his perfect half, he loved you to the point that it made him a possessive fool.

"i'll always love you, lando. i mean it." you said with such a sweetness to your voice.

"that's what i like to hear." he said as he continued to thrust. the bed shifted under your movements and you were left feeling hot all over. the space between you was limited and you could feel him reach some of the deepest parts of you core.

you made out with him once more and met with his thrusts. you could feel your mouth growing dry and you body growing hotter. it felt good being so close to him. he was the perfect partner in every way you could think of.

the two of you made love, lando's possessive streak he had all day was slowly diminishing and the love he had for his girlfriend only bloomed. his kisses were sweet even though he pace was rather quick.

"shit, ah. lando." you whined as you felt orgasm creep up on you. the pleasure made its way through your body and left your breathless. you sloppily made out with him once more before with tensed up and came around his cock.

he broke the kiss and panted heavily as he continued to pace. both hands were now on either side of you to get better leverage to thrust up into you.

"you're so perfect, my angel. i want this cock in every way i can get it. i want you more than anything, baby." he panted as he put his all into your thrusts. the pleasure pulsed through his body as he moved against you. you felt like a dream. "so perfect." he panted heavily with a few more heavy thrusts. then he was finally able to finish inside of you. it shook him to his core and made his mind go blank for a few moments.

"lando." your voice felt far as you laid there, overstimulated and sweaty.

he gave a few more thrusts before he finished inside of you with a large groan. his pace staggered then stopped before he pulled out and laid next to you. he pulled you into his arms and gave your cheek wet kisses as you squirmed against him.

"oh, i love you so much." he said with tenderness in his voice, "you're so perfect and i want you to myself forever."

you tried to meet his lips, but kept missing due to how fast he was moving to kiss your heated skin. you eventually took him by the face and laughed, "don't worry. you already got me, honey." <3

[whamss]

Rose would be a shitty girlfriend but people really miss the flavor with exploring that when they take it as Rose not liking Kanaya as much as vice versa as opposed to her being painfully into Kanaya but not knowing how to like. Empathize with other people properly and being too self-absorbed to attend to any of Kanaya's needs, or even really notice when her own behavior is hurting her.

I think it's pretty well-established that Rose is super into her. Girl who drank her ass off before their first date bc she was nervous and constantly turmoiled over whether or not Kanaya was going to break up w her and wanting to make things better between them even leading up to her death, only people to say that she doesn't like Kanaya. If Kanaya broke up with Rose she would perish. Lines like "I never even got to tell her I love her" tell us nothing if not that Rose was painfully in love with Kanaya, but could never find it in herself to tell her. Whether this is because she was trying to protect herself on the chance that Kanaya got sick of her shit and decided to break up or because Rose was so out of it constantly she just could never get it out is up to interpretation. But Rose being a shitty girlfriend and her relationship with Kanaya being extremely important to her aren't concepts that are mutually exclusive. If anything I think they play hand in hand.

I also just think people need to give Kanaya more autonomy than they do. Don't get me wrong the power dynamic IS inbalanced. Rose is insane and constantly making mistakes and impulsive decisions and Kanaya is always left picking up the pieces when she does something crazy. Rose hurts Kanaya to an incomparable degree. Kanaya has far more patience for Rose than she probably should, but she isn't a doormat. The entire interaction Kanaya and Rose had on the meteor, where Kanaya flipped out on Rose for drinking right before they were due for a big fight, tells us so much about what their dynamic was leading up to this imo. This is a conversation they've had countless times before, Kanaya's anger is always followed up with some fearful suggestion from Rose that Kanaya is going to break up with her. Kanaya is a girl dealing with a partner deep in the throes of alcoholism, she's painfully compliant, but their interactions both leading up to them getting together and once they do both on the meteor and off of it show that the relationship anxiety is very one-sided. Rose is the only one worried about them breaking up, because she sucks and she knows that. Kanaya cares deeply for Rose but if either of them are going to be cooly cutting things off between them it's her, not Rose.

I love giving rosemary divorce particles, I can never be convinced that two girls who got together That Young could make it work between them without a ton of bumps in the road. I love that Rose is fucked up and self-centered and I like when people acknowledge this, but she DOES love Kanaya. To her own detriment. Kanaya is the one constantly disillusioned by Rose's behavior, the one who's commitment is constantly tested, not the other way around. Wish more people could acknowledge this... Rose loves Kanaya! And Kanaya loves Rose too, I think. But people really wooby her when they try to frame even the likes of pre-retcon rosemary like Kanaya is a nothing but a victim of Rose's vices, and that Rose somehow doesn't actually want to be in a relationship with her.

Pre-retcon rosemary was definitely on track to an untimely break up though. Rose wasn't going to be the one to pull that trigger though

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[justanother-janedoe]

Marry You

Summary: What does the person the lawyer who's known what she's wanted all her life decide to do for her wedding? Seriously, what does she do?

Word Count: 1.2k

Harvey Specter x Reader (she/her)

*This isn't really set in a specific time on Suits; just somewhat near the last few seasons. It's been a while since I've watched it but I really wanted to post this story idea so I hope you enjoy.

From a young age you always knew what you wanted. At 7 you realized you wanted to become a lawyer. At 16 you decided to attend Harvard. And when taking your first steps into Pearson Hardman, meeting the 'Harvey Specter', there you knew from his iconic smirk he'd be an important person in your life.

So when you couldn’t make a single decision for the wedding this made Donna, concerned to say the least. 

At Donna's desk early in the morning

“Special order for one Donna Paulsen.'' Rachel said, placing the coffee cup in front of an exhausted Donna. 

“You're an angel.” Donna says looking frustrated 

"I got your SOS. What's wrong?" Rachel said, looking worried. 

"Wedding plans."

“Is there too much to do? I told you if you need any help at all I’ll be there-”

“No, that’s the thing. We haven’t made a single decision yet.”

"I mean it does take time to plan a whole wedding."

"But it's been months; you would think by now we’d have an idea for a theme. All we’ve done is look at tons of cake flavors, venue options, themes; but nothing seems to resonate with her.” Donna said, pulling out binder after binder of wedding decisions. 

It seemed that whenever they’d go over planning you would avoid it, trying to push finalizing for another time. (Not picking a wedding season, let alone date).

"Yeah, that's a bit weird..."

"I know."

"So why don't you talk to her about it?"

"It's just. Ever since she asked me to be her maid of honor I knew I'd do anything to give her the wedding of her dreams. But she's rather focus on her cases than sit down and make a decision. I'm just feeling so frustrated. I want to help her but I can't." Donna said, laying her head behind the stack of binders, eyes fluttering from tiredness. 

"Look. Why don't we just put this aside and see how tomorrow goes.” Rachel said, pushing the binders away. 

“We're all going wedding dress shopping, maybe once she tries on a couple of dresses she’ll get a clearer idea of what kind of wedding she wants."

"You're right."

"I always am."

"Hey, that's my line!" Donna exclaimed.

At a brand named wedding dress shop the next day

As the consultant described the dress you had on you couldn't help but feel odd. Not that the dress was bad. But with every gown you couldn't envision yourself walking down the aisle in any of them.

"So what do you think?" the consultant asked the room, waking you from your thoughts.

"It's beautiful."

"You look gorgeous."

"I'm bored."

"Louis!" Donna lightly scolded.

"Not of this but the dress. It just doesn't radiate how special she is. How is she supposed to take photos, smile happily, and look back fondly at this moment in her life when all she's wearing is this boring thing."

"Sir this is an Oscar De La Renta-" the consultant tried to pitch in.

"And this is about to be Miss Specter so I suggest we look at some other dresses to save us from wasting our time at this establishment." Louis said, turning away in frustration.

In the dressing room

"That Louis Specter sure sounds like a handful." the consultant said assisting you.

"Oh God if he heard you call him that. His ego is already inflated-" you said grinning at the consultant's assumptions about your relationship; probably more normal than the reality.

"I need to speak with you." Louis spoke after he knocked on the changing room door.

"Does it have to be right now?"

"Yes it's an emergency!"

"Could you please give us a moment?" you asked the consultant who promptly left.

"What's wrong?"

"This!" Louis said, pointing at you exasperated.

"You've lost me."

"What I mean is my two best friends are getting married to each other. You both aren’t treating this as passionately as you do in your cases. I’ve seen more fire in your eyes when defending clients than today. I mean I am truly concerned as Harvey's best man.-"

"Okay Louis. Calm down." you said, holding onto Louis' shoulders but clearly growing worried from his speech. While a part of her wanted to jest about Louis' borderline obsessive view on her, he was right. 

“I appreciate your candor, truly. I’m just… feeling a bit lost at the moment.”

“Should I call Harvey then. I mean he’d probably ignore me but I could get Donna to-”

"No Louis. I do want to marry Harvey. I swear I do."

"That's exactly what I wanna hear, especially on that big day."

“Thanks Louis.”

“Of course. I mean we really need to get your mojo back if I’m buying your dress.”

“Buying my-Louis you don’t have to do that.”

“Don’t even worry about the price. I offered to pay for Harvey too but he said he didn’t want me finding out about where he gets his suits…”

As Louis went on talking like he always did you felt appreciative of the deep caring nature he had; even if it was a bit eccentric. 

Late night in you’s Office

"You know working such late hours like this isn’t beneficial to your health right?" Harvey said, leaning against you’s door frame to her office.

“We’ll then. I guess I’ll have to fight the case beyond the grave.” you said, getting up to properly greet Harvey. As you gives him a quick peck on the lips he holds onto you a bit longer. 

“Hold on." Harvey said guiding you both to the couch in your office.

"So I might have overhead from a couple birds that you’ve been having a bit of trouble with the wedding planning. Now I know I’ve been gone for an unbelievable amount of time, but I just want you to know that you could tell me anything."

Harvey said looking at you tenderly.

"Seriously. Whether you wanted to elope or take 12 years until we have the perfect wedding; I'll support your choice no matter what." Harvey joked.

"We'll I don't think I'll take that long... I guess a part of me wants to blame it on you for leaving but deep down I know this life we chose isn’t exactly flexible.”

You started unraveling your nervous feeling on the wedding.

“ I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the fact that we’re officially together.”

“So these last few years we’re just a friendship?” Harvey jokes to lighten the mood.

“Yeah didn’t you get the memo. I guess it was misspelled. I meant best friend not boyfriend.” you joked along. 

“What I mean is for most of my life I never had to think of others. God I sound so selfish for saying that; but it’s true. The choices I’ve made have been simple to make because I knew everything it'd entail. Any other option would be pointless... While marrying you, being together has been-"

"Amazing, spectacular, just grand..." Harvey interjected to brighten your mood like he always knew how to.

"Yes. Planning a wedding though; I have no idea what I want for us. I mean there are so many flavors of cake and decorations to consider-"

"That's probably on me actually." Harvey said, referring to his business trip

"You think." you said sarcastically.

"I know going with Mike to set up in Seattle before planning our wedding wasn't the brightest decision. But I'd like to make it up to you. Because I really do want to marry you. From now on I'll be right beside you."

"Thank you Harvey."

"I mean it. " Harvey said holding both your hands and looking at you intently.

"I know you've had to make decisions for yourself for the most part but I just want you to know... Your not alone anymore. For all the parts you feel unsure of in life, I'll be there to catch you and push you back up again."

"That was so beautiful. Did you plan that?"

"That may or may not be a couple lines from my vows. Just act surprised when you hear them on the day. Speaking of what do you think about November?"

"For the wedding?"

"Yeah it's right around the time we started to get to know eachother..."

"You're such a romantic Harvey Spector."

"We'll your about to marry me so what does that say about you."

"We're just a couple of romantics I guess." you say as Harvey kisses you deeply.

Breaking the kiss you exhaled a breath. “You're relentless.”

“Well I’m sure it's one of the things you find attractive about me.” he said walking to her office couch; looking romantically into her eyes.

“I could think of a couple more things.” she said walking in a way Harvey thought was iconic. Like a scene in a movie. 

“PG-13?” he asked, stroking you’s arm as she sat on his lap.

“More like rated R.” she said, hands holding his face.

“Kinky.” he said, kissing her. If he were to tell others the way she made him feel, he’d be dubbed a romantic. But the truth was every time Harvey and you kissed it felt like the world faded like that scene in West Side Story. 

“While being caught and embarrassed by the whole office sounds like an interesting night, why don’t we go home?” you said, getting up from their close position.

“As if this office hasn’t seen worse things.” Harvey said, smiling in that playful way that made you feel light. Grabbing you’s coat as you went to get your purse putting you’s coat on for you. Turning around and giving Harvey a peck as you walked together.

Feeling relaxed and lonely no more you we're now exited not only to plan the wedding with Harvey but spend your future together. Knowing that while the future may hold some unpredictable moments you can share them with Harvey by your side.

Author’s Notes

Hello, thank you so much for reading this. If your familiar with my work you may know that I’ve been absent for a long time. But I’m motivated again to write. This may not be my best work but I feel proud of this. 

If your interested in a part 2 or more Harvey Specter stories let me know.

Anyways I hope you have a good day.

:)

[kiefbowl]

this is a random thought I had in the shower actually well over a month ago, but I've been gnawing at it in my brain...and perhaps this is going to sound pathetic and a bit esoteric.

So, it suddenly dawned on me very randomly while I was showering that I have been paying for netflix for my own account since I was a freshman in college. Back in the dvd days, I remember having Firefly sent to me disk by disk my fall semester. This is 2009. It was an important part of college because I let my friends use it on their console and we'd all go to their dorm and watch streaming, and I passed out my log in to a ton of friends. I basically provided free Netflix to more or less 10 or so people over the course of four years for not even $7 a month I think.

What hit me though was that means, this year - that will be 15 years. That's what stopped me in my shower to stare off in the abyss for like 10 minutes and what's been on my mind for the past several weeks. I've been paying netflix for 15 years, which is the longest I've ever done anything. There is no other company I've so consistently paid for like this either, not for that many of years not even close. Quite possibly my longest relationship outside of my family and 2-3 other people. Netflix, the ever constant, of all forsaken things.

And what really bothers me about it is that, uhm, not to be an American consumer but like...I don't feel appreciated by netflix. For the past few years, I've barely used it, except for a few titles I've wanted to watch. I haven't passed out my log in since I changed it not long after college to keep an ex using it for free. I've remained loyal, despite the fact that I don't feel like some sort of loyal consumerist. I don't give a fuck about brands, I try to shop as little as possible, thrift what I can. And yet, what can I say? I actually am a loyal consumerist, to netflix that is.

What a shock to realize this, and what a shock to realize netflix does not acknowledge this, no email saying thanks, no surveys, no swag, no pizza party, no invite no perk no discount no nothing. Instead they raise prices, cut services, lose licenses, and cancel barely finished products. I'm 15 years loyal to this company for this?

And I think about the days of yore, but really not long ago. The preferred shopper's catalogues of department stores, the longtime shopper promotions of industry giants, the award systems for the loyal consumerists of chains and malls. The specialty Christmas items that are today vintage and worth money for their rarity. The thank yous, the special events. The mailers that say "Come to our store loyal customer and receive a free $20 coupon for that day!" And I'm not saying this is good, and of course it's all just marketing and advertisement, and I'm not saying this is the life I want to live...

But I am saying this would be easy for netflix to do, for someone like me. Someone who went from $7 to stream and receive DVDs, who got customers onboard when the model was new and the company was pioneering, to $20 to sit unused but for a month or two out of the year. It would be easy to pull the data. It would be easy to say which accounts have been opened the longest, to actually verify who has given 180 months worth of payments to them. It would be easy to give me a year's discount to say thank you. It would be easy for them to send an email to verify my address to send me merch. Do I want the merch? No, not really. But have they tried?

Have they even sent me an email saying "We appreciate your 15 years of support! We value you!" with little confetti animation? They didn't do it at 10 years. They didn't do it at 5 years. I don't recall ever receiving emails from netflix besides "Unfortunately, our payment model is changing."

As of today, I haven't pulled my account yet. I want to finish Bridgerton, even if this season is a snoozefest. But I think I will. I feel had and used, as pathetic as that sounds. Has Hulu done anything different? I can't remember when I signed up for them but it's been many years. No, but I frankly use it more, so I'm less angry. And with netflix...it's been fifteen years. They have really banked on us being passive in our payments, and accustomed to the freedom of endless choice, and it just feels gleeful that they never even once acknowledged I've been here this whole time. Actually, act like Sears and Bloomingdales 60 years ago, or we quit I think we should say. Ask me my address to send me a glass netflix mug or I'll fuck off, because who do you think you are to think so little of me, the only reason you exist for?

[shrimpalbuspotter]

What's the thing that stands out to you the most about albus and by extension his relationship with scorpius?

I'm gonna give 2 answers for this but they technically intermingle: One thing that stands out to me about Albus as a character, and one thing that stands out to me about his relationship with Scorpius.

Albus is a character who wears his emotions on his sleeve, even if he doesn't want to. This means we know alot about the motives behind his actions that run deeper than just "I want to save Cedric Diggory because my dad sucks." He's surly, self isolating, grumpy, and often seems rather anxious.

I think the thing that stands out the most to me is actually his relationships with others.

Albus has one friend, Scorpius. You can clearly see that Albus felt comfortable the moment he talked to him on the train, all awkward smiles and giggles. Then, when his cousin (who he grew up with), deemed he wasn't a good fit to be a friend and told Albus they were leaving, he outright denied her.

Cut to a while later, and Albus becomes a shut in. Its never explicitly shown but I take that when McGonagall called Albus "Isolated and surly" she was referencing to him refusing to make other friends. I don't doubt there were people who did try and befriend Albus despite him having a reputation, I just think Albus refused to give them the time of day. He had been laughed at and ridiculed by other students tons of times before, he learned to rely on gut feelings. If Albus doesn't immediately feel like he can trust you, he won't trust you, and it'll take a hell of a long time to change that due to his relentless stubborn. Plus his general opinion of the student body is already more terrible because he knows how everyone in Hogwarts feels about his bestfriend, who he deems more important than anyone else.

Cut yet again! Rose attempts to talk to Albus on the train to Hogwarts as they enter fourth year. Rose seems like she wants to make amends, trying to get Albus to talk to her and apologise, but Albus is still not having it. He sees through her, he knows his cousin. She'd never apologise herself, even if she knows she's wrong. Albus doesn't want to be pitied, and he also knows how rude Rose can be to Scorpius. So once again she's shut down.

Then we move on to him meeting Delphi, and there's something different. He seems slightly confused at first, but he relaxes as she talks. Albus sees this dorky, quirky lady, who talks about how people would make fun of her as a kid, and he automatically trusts her. It was definetly an odd feeling to have, because the only other person he'd felt that from was Scorpius, but Albus has an issue where he sets people he cares about on a pedestal and finds it almost impossible to imagine them doing any wrong, or expects them to always act a specific way. Delphi was in Albus' circle now, and he wanst planning to lose that.

But... then we notice something. Albus becomes slightly distant towards Scorpius whenever Delphi is around. He thinks he really likes her, and he knows she's practically a stranger but he swears there's this magnetic pull that just makes him want to be around her all the time. Scorpius is sort of jealous, but he's happy Albus has made a friend.

It's been pointed out before that majority of Delphis personality was took from Scorpius because she knew that would make Albus like her more. And it worked. She knows Albus find it difficult connecting with people he cant relate to, so she talked about her issues with expectations and not asking to be born into the family you were. (OK this is getting off topic let's go back on track).

In summary, how Albus finds it so incredibly difficult to connect with people then, when does, holds them so close to his heart, is what stands out most to me. Its crucial! Albus is not a person who trusts easily, but he takes great pride in those he can call his friend, even if it's few (cough ONE cough).

On that note... Answer 2. What stands out to me most about Scorpius and Albus's relationship? (Let's go the romantic route)

For me, its the way they are so different from every other ship. I don't think you can compare them to anything, because it won't be the same.

I see alot of people say its a parallel to Wolfstar but... it isn't. Alteast not how they'd be in canon. Because the Dynamics are completely different, and so are the characters personalities.

I think how unique their relationship is is what makes it so special. They were both misunderstood kids who realistically should've despised eachother just like their parents, but they didn't. They took comfort in eachothers presence and didn't care that everyone bullied them, because atleast they were together. Albus would end the world for Scorpius, and Scorpius would save the world for Albus. And it isn't even a Gryffindor/Slytherin relationship either! Which the fandom seems to like alot!

They are two bestfriends, from the same house, who would rather be with eachother than anyone else in the world. The closest thing to soulmates you're gonna get.

Anywhoooo that's my answerrr thank you for the ask anon I was in my feels beforehand and then I got to rant it all out on my favs

[galaxiasgreen]

💐🍃Flowery Language

Shenanigans with minor Garreth/ Reader [G-Rated, 2k words]

"Are you aware of the language of flowers, Mr Weasley?" "I'm fluent in honking daffodil, yeah. HOOOOONK. See?"

Garreth gets you flowers, and things go terribly wrong.

[read on AO3, read on Wattpad]

A/N: Written for a prompt challenge, 'flower language'. This is a companion to Stay With Me and features my MCs Prim, Gibby and Missy, but can be read with no prior knowledge. Enjoy! <3

Garreth Weasley swaggers down the hallway with a very important bouquet of flowers.

Today, after all, is a special anniversary: precisely three months and nine days since you started dating. And with O.W.L.s starting soon and the fifth-years hunkering down for the exam period, you've been very keen to frolic the Highlands to escape the stress... just kidding, you hole up in some dark corner of the library and cry about how you don't know anything. Close enough. He's just been making sure you're fed and watered and occasionally getting social contact in the form of a cuddle. Later he'll celebrate with you properly, but for now – what girl doesn't like flowers?

With Professor Garlick's permission he raided the greenhouses for some blossoms, mostly for ones with funny names like cyclamen and rhododendron, and a ton of primroses too, a nice little nod to your nickname, and clumped them together with twine. The end result is a colourful ensemble that will look great in a vase and, not to brag (yes to brag), this might be his best work ever – and he's a potion's genius, so he frequently creates his best work ever on a regular basis.

"Prim!"

In the hallway during lunch, he finds you with your nose in a textbook on your way to the library. Piqued by his voice, you turn towards him, summoning a broad smile, and he sidles up to you with the bouquet hiding behind his back.

"Guess what day it is today?"

You blink owlishly. "Thirty-two days, twenty-one hours and forty-seven minutes until exams?"

"... Well yes, but actually no. Try again?"

You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, frowning. "I'm sorry, I've been so stressed. It's the fifth of May? A Thursday? Oh no, have I forgotten something important?"

"It's our sixty-ninth day together! Isn't that great?" He brandishes the bouquet. "And I brought you—"

"AAAAAH!" you shriek suddenly, flinching backwards and warding him away with the book. "No no no!"

"What the—? What's the matter—?"

"Get it away from me!"

You run away – full on, around the corner, dust swirling in your wake – leaving him standing there with his bouquet like an utter plonker. It takes him a few seconds to process what happened. Did he have bad breath? Did you not want to celebrate? Was it the flowers? He glances down at the bouquet, befuddled. You only reacted when he pulled them out – there must be something wrong with them.

He needs help, and he decides to seek it from the wisest person he knows.

"Mr Weasley, I am a door knocker," says the eagle on the Ravenclaw common room door. "I am not a relationship counsellor."

"I'm not here for counselling!" Garreth says, flinging out his arms. "Prim and I are fine, except for this one thing. It's these flowers. She screamed at them! Like, shrilly! Come ooooon, you love giving me your honest, brutal and often very rude opinion. Is it ugly? Does it smell bad?"

He shoves the bouquet to its beak, and it splutters, "I can make judgement perfectly well from a safe distance, thank you! To answer your question, it is neither ugly nor foul-smelling – by some miracle you have indeed managed to pull that off. No, I suspect the young lady takes a different issue. Are you aware of the language of flowers, Mr Weasley?"

"I'm fluent in honking daffodil, yeah. HOOOOONK. See?"

"That's not what I meant." It sighs. "The language of flowers is a Muggle method of subtly communicating emotions or thoughts through floristry. You know a red rose means passionate romantic love, for example? All flowers have a similar connotation, ranging from friendship to jealousy to life. When gifting flowers, one may create a dialogue of meaning through them."

"And you reckon Prim knows about flowery language?"

"She is a Ravenclaw," it says haughtily.

Garreth glances down at his bouquet. Honestly, he chose most of them because they looked pretty. He's simple like that.

"Okay, so... what do these mean?"

"I'm afraid that's as much knowledge as I possess."

He lets out a laugh. "You don't know something? You? The Ravenclaw door knocker?"

"If you don't want the whole school to know about when you were gyrating to Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 in only a bath towel, I suggest you keep quiet."

"... How the heck do you know about that? I was alone!"

"The dorm mirrors talk, Mr Weasley. Very loudly."

Bloody mirrors... "Fine. Where do I go? Who do I ask?"

"Someone fluent in the language of flowers might be good start. Perhaps a Muggle-born?"

"Gibby." She would know way more about this stuff. He heads down the stairs. "Thanks for the help. You're my favourite door knocker!"

"May my title be swiftly usurped."

Surprisingly, he finds Gibby outside the greenhouses. On her knees in the grass, she seems to be deep in concentration when he lumbers over, her brow scrunched behind her glasses. Strangely enough, Professor Black's house-elf Scrope is also at her side.

"Gibs! I need your Muggle expertise!"

She takes one look at the bouquet before screaming.

"Lord Almighty! Those better not be for me!"

Uh oh. "No! This— I made this for Prim. She ran away when I gave them to her and the door knocker said it might be because of some flower language thingy. Why? What's wrong with it?"

She gets to her feet, wiping grass off her knees. "Okay, my flower language is a bit rusty, but I believe this is what you've told her." She clears her throat. "Beware! I hate you. This is goodbye, you poor, jealous virgin... yay!"

It's like the earth swallows him whole. He said all those horrible things, all in some stupid flowers? No wonder you ran!

"Tell me how to fix it," he says desperately. "Please, I can't have her believing any of that's true!"

"I'd help you, but I'm kind of sort of... doing a punishment right now."

"... What for?"

Scrope finally pipes up. "The young lady thought it appropriate to bake Master Black a cake."

"He's so moody all the time! I figured it would cheer him up."

"She fell as she presented it. A direct hit on Master's face."

"But it tasted great!"

"As punishment, the young lady has been made to count blades of grass for three hours."

"I'm at eight thousand! ... Or was it seven? You sort of lose track after the first. Can I take a quick break, Mr Scrope?"

"Ten minutes," says Scrope. "Only because Master forbade Scrope from laughing when it was very funny."

It's apparently all she needs, when she drags Garreth to the greenhouses and starts plucking flowers furiously.

"You're going to have to scrap the whole bouquet," she says. "I mean, all the flowers you picked were horrible. Just really bad. Awful. It might've been kinder to tell Prim you hate her."

"Really not helping."

"The primroses can stay though. That's the yay one."

"Primroses mean yay?"

"Well, no. It sort of means youth and optimism, which I interpret as yay!"

Of all the flowers he picked, at least this one isn't bad. Gibby runs around taking her favourites.

"Okay, so, we have this one, pink heather, which means admiration. You want to show how much you admire her, right? Yes. More of it. We need amaryllis, for pride, because you're proud of her. Crocus – that means cheer. Oh! Honeysuckle. They grow in Feldcroft, they're lovely. Jasmine for elegance, red tulips for passion, pink roses for happiness.... are you getting all of this?"

"Yeah," he says, absolutely not getting all of this.

"We should add myrtle, for good luck, since she's taking her O.W.L.s soon. And purple hyacinth for sorrow, because you are very apologetic for that last bouquet. Oh, oh! And some daisies!"

"Aren't daisies weeds?"

She gasps. "No! How dare you! They represent first love! It's perfect."

He sticks them in the bouquet. By the time her ten minutes are up, Garreth has a ginormous bunch of flowers almost as large as his chest. He can barely hold it with one hand.

"Thanks for your help, really."

"Just guarantee me a front-row seat at the wedding. Now, if you'll excuse me..." She drops back to the lawn with Scrope. "Eight-thousand-and-fifty-one, eight-thousand-and-fifty-two..."

Garreth's on the way to find you in the library when he bumps into his friend Missy. She's not wearing her Slytherin robes today, instead an eclectic blouse and skirt, and her hair is dark blue, curling down almost to her waist.

"Good grief, what is that?"

"The bouquet I made for Prim. Isn't it glorious?"

"No, it's terrible. Do you plan to bludgeon her in the head with it?"

Garreth groans. "What do you mean? What's wrong now?"

"Look at the composition! It's much too heavy." She takes it from his hand, shooing him away to inspect. "The silhouette is too imposing... the flora to foliage ratio is unbalanced... the dimensions are far too biased on this side..."

"Can you please talk in wizard's English?"

"Bouquet ugly. Me fix."

"Fine." He gestures. "Have at it."

She starts tossing the flowers she deems extraneous, ruthlessly paring down the bouquet with pursed lips and callous eyes. "I assume you asked Gibby for help?"

"Yeah, why?"

She stifles a snort. "She knows her language of flowers, but her arranging skills leave much to be desired. Frankly I'm insulted you didn't come to me first."

"Sorry I didn't know you were an expert flower arrangerer."

"I only took floristry lessons for eight years. I'm sure that means nothing."

He rolls his eyes. Merlin, what a rich girl past-time. Once she's satisfied skinning the bouquet, lightening it physically and visually, she starts trimming some of the stems.

"No!" he yelps, just as she makes to remove the primroses. "No, keep those."

"It symbolises new beginnings," she says, raising an eyebrow. "However, you seem to have it in abundance. You don't think it's too much?"

"Keep it all," he says again. "It's the only flower I got right the first time."

And he's quite attached to the little primroses now. Name aside, they remind him of you: small and unassuming, but very cute. Missy shrugs in a suit yourself sort of way, and adjusts the stem heights instead. She changes the placement of the flowers so there is greenery between, and makes the foliage fan out prettily over the sides. By the time she's done, she holds an appealing, moderately sized bouquet with a variety of pink, purple and white flowers perfectly balanced with green.

"This will suffice," she says at last, handing it back to him. "Good luck."

"Or you could say myrtle, am I right?"

"Mmm, no." She pats him twice on the shoulder before spinning him around. "On your way, lover boy."

The library is fairly abandoned by the time Garreth arrives with his sensible bouquet. He has to do some real sneak-thievery crab-walking to get inside without Madam Scribner noticing, but when she gets distracted by another student chucking an inkwell over the bannister, Garreth makes his way to the back aisles.

Like he expected, you're there, textbooks and quills abound, ink staining your hands and face. He checks his breath, just in case (it's good), before he walks around the shelf.

"Don't panic, Prim—"

You spot the bouquet immediately and scramble to your feet, slapping a hand over your nose. "No, no—"

"Prim! Merlin's saggy danglers—" He snatches your arm before you can run away. "What? What is it?"

Your eyes squeeze shut, and tears form at the seal. "No, let me go! Please!"

"I'm really sorry if I offended you with my last bouquet! I swear I didn't mean to call you a poor, jealous virgin—"

"No, Garreth— ACHOO!" You flinch through a whole-body sneeze. "I'm allergic to primroses!"

As you fling yourself away, aggressively sneezing, Garreth's hand goes limp.

"I've been calling you Prim for the whole year and you're allergic to primroses?"

Fin.

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed <3

[read on AO3, read on Wattpad] [Divider credit]

[mynicosensesaretingling]

I have a idea

So reader and Nico (after retirement) have been dating a couple months of this past year so he’s been single for a while and Lewis and him start talking again after years of not talking and reader is telling him it’s good that they are speaking again but he’s worried that he’s just going to be left alone again after his past with lewis but she promises him that Lewis wouldn’t do that?

With a age gap and tons of fluff

This is such a weird idea but I think it could be really cute

Nico Rosberg x fem! reader (she/her)

Note: First of all thank you so much for your request, I really appreciate it! It turned out a little short, but I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless. Also, this might not be as heavy on the age gap as you wished for, but it was my first time ever directly addressing the subject so I tried my best! <3

Nico's retirement from Formula 1 had brought a new chapter in his life. Amidst the whirlwind of changes, one constant had established itself– his relationship with (Y/N). Over the past few months, the bond between the young woman and Nico had blossomed into something beautiful, despite the age gap that had once been a concern, not only for the people around them but also for the former racer himself.

As he settled into life after racing, unexpected yet not unwelcome, was the rekindling of his friendship with Lewis Hamilton. Years had passed since they last spoke, the echoes of their intense rivalry lingering in the air. When Lewis reached out, a tentative branch extended, Nico found himself torn between apprehension and curiosity.

Glancing over at her partner,(Y/N) noticed the shift in Nico's demeanour, the mix of emotions swirling underneath his skin. Sitting together in the comfort of their shared space, (Y/N) gently put aside the book she had been reading, deciding to broach the subject, offering a supportive ear. “What’s got you frowning like that pretty boy?” she chuckled, turning her body towards where Nico was sitting in an armchair. There was a soft sparkle of concern behind the humour in her eyes, cheek leaning into her hand as she propped her elbow up on the back of the couch.

A few seconds of silence passed between them before Nico seemingly registered her words and looked up from his phone, eyebrows drawn together. ”Lewis messaged me.” his voice was uncertain, the short phrase holding the suppressed emotions from years of friendship.

"I think it’d be good for you and Lewis to start speaking again," she remarked, observing the way Nico's features tightened slightly at the mention of his former best friend turned rival.

The blond man sighed, a tinge of uncertainty colouring his voice. "I know it's been a while, but there's history there. I don't want to end up alone again, you know? After everything that's happened between us…." his voice trailed off, as his eyes landed on his phone again.

Studying her lover, (Y/N) got up from her position on the couch and wandered over to Nico’s armchair.

It was only when she pulled the phone out of his hands, that Nico realised she had left her previous spot to sit on the armrest of his seat.

Her heart went out to him, understanding the vulnerability behind his words. Placing the phone onto the coffee table, (Y/N) turned back and reached for his hand, offering reassurance. "Nico, you won't ever be alone. I'm here, and I promise you, that despite all the things that happened between the two of you, Lewis wouldn't want that either. People change, and circumstances evolve. You both have grown so much since then."

Nico looked up at (Y/N),  the warmth in her eyes melting the ice of his apprehension. "But what if... what if it all returns to how it was before?" his brows furrowed in uncertainty.

(Y/N) shook her head gently, fingers intertwining with his, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "Trust me. Lewis reaching out doesn't mean he's going to leave you behind. You're an important part of his life, and he knows the value of your friendship."

Listening to her words, Nico's shoulders relaxed, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. His lover’s unwavering support provided a sense of comfort amidst the evergoing chaos that was the relationship between him and his former best friend. A nervous sigh left his lips, "I guess you're right. I've missed having him around too." 

Letting go of his hand, (Y/N) offered a gentle smile. "It's okay to let people back in, Nico. You've got me, and Lewis... I'm sure he's looking for a fresh start too. And besides that, sometimes you just gotta take a risk." Nico smirked at that, arm sneaking around her waist, before pulling her into his lap with one swift motion. “Mhm.” he hummed, fingers tracing her jawline, “last time I took a risk, it REALLY paid off.” 

“Oh is that so?” (Y/N) chuckled “Tell me all about it!” 

A lighthearted laugh escaped Nico’s lips before speaking. “It was a huge deal. There was this gorgeous, brilliant young woman, who had captivated me since the first time I laid my eyes on her. But our age difference is what threw me off, we didn’t even have to do much before people started talking.” Nico hooked a finger underneath (Y/N) chin, thumb mindlessly tracing her jaw whilst his eyes roamed her face, captivated by every little detail. “So what did you do?” her voice is not much louder than a whisper, eyes mirroring the love held within Nico’s gaze. “I already knew that no matter what I did, my heart was already within her hands. I never really cared what people said anyway, so, I took a risk.” Nico watched as his lover's lips stretched into a lovesick grin.

“I love you,” (Y/N)’s grin morphed into a smirk “but I sure hope you taking a risk again, doesn’t mean Lewis will be taking my position.” 

Neither of them able to contain themselves, the pair broke out into laughter and in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of affection and the promise of renewed friendships, Nico found solace, allowing himself to embrace the possibility of rekindling old connections without the fear of being left adrift in the wake of his past. As the laughter died down, he leaned in for a gentle kiss, silently thanking the stars for bringing someone as understanding and supportive as (Y/N) into his life.

[cyrusthemagician]

STARZY!⭐ REGRETEVATOR OC INFO/MASTERPOST☆

Name: Starzy

Age: 38

Gender: male

Pronouns: dosnt care as long as its not she/her .........................................

Likes: talking to Mach and Pilby, the OFFICE OF floor (spends most of his time there), iced tea, coffee, playing piano, his personal space, the night time

Dislikes: being touched or picked up, being away from Mach for too long, bland foods, people bringing attention to his scar and missing eye, Bive, MR,

Personality: a hard worker, Starzy almost always has his nose in a book or papers of some sort, finding it insanely hard to stop even when at his wits end. usually Mach has to pull him out of whatever he's doing so he can rest properly. he's short tempered but as long as he's happy he's a nice guy to be around. He is strict when it comes to himself, not much caring about what others do unless it affects him or people he likes directly. he has a few hobbies he likes when he isn't working.

Backstory: Starzy was originally a fallen star, an event that occurred on the Two Stud Camp floor. He spent most of his time here, hiding from the players that came and went. eventually managing to get on an empty elevator which took him to the OFFICE OF floor where he found the room empty, not knowing anyone was supposed to be there he made his way across the room to the underside of Mach's desk where he hid. Awhile later Mach came back and found him, deciding to clean him up and send him on his way after he was back to normal. However, when it was time to leave he had grown an almost protective attachment to her and insisted on staying to help her with her work as her assistant.

!Relationships chart!

!Extras!

the scar is from bive. she was bothering him out by asking a ton of questions about Mach while he was trying to make tea, she ended up surprising him, causing him to flinch hard and splash the boiling water on himself

………………………………….

most of his lines or conversations revolve around Mach in some way depending on who he talks to

...........................................

playlist: starzy

...........................................

usually seen on any floor Mach is on, has an animation where he holds her ban hammer for her as she talks on the phone in OFFICE OF

...........................................

his lines: Entering elevator: "odd" "Wonder where this leads.."

When sprayed: "Stop that!" "That is no way to offer a drink!" "Eugh! How would you feel if i sprayed YOU with acid?!" "Don't make me teach you an important lesson." (last message before he retaliates)

When showered with petals: "those are just going to burn up." "What a mess!" "uh.. Thanks?" "Mach has a jar of these."

.............................................

will straight up punch you dealing 50 health if u spray him with water too much

............................................

he can play the piano and enjoys to in his limited free time

……………………………………..

doesn't get off on any floors other than WALL OF, WHEEL OF, HALL OF, OFFICE OF, and Two Stud Camp only gets on the elevator from WHEEL OF and OFFICE OF

[synnamonroll666]

Under The Stars

Prompt 23: Cock Warming Pairing: Syzoth X Fem!Reader Description: When you return home late from work, you notice that your boyfriend is acting really strange. And soon, you will discover the sweet reason why... Warnings: Cock Warming And A TON Of Fluff... 🤭 Word Count: 1.4k Main MasterList: 🖤 Kinktober MasterList: 🖤 Synny's Angels: @lorebite, @mornandil, @queenkhepri, @bihansthot, and @mmeerraa.

⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒

I had just returned home from work after a long and busy day. It wasn't my intention to work late, but I was relieved that Syzoth was more than understanding when I called him to bear the news. It was a fairly ordinary day, and yet I had a feeling about something—like something very special was meant to happen.

Yawning to relieve some of my exhaustion, I ignored the feeling as I unlocked my door, just wanting to hug my boyfriend. But to my surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. I threw my keys on the kitchen counter and then locked the door before going on a hunt to find my man.

But it didn't take too long to find him, because then I walked into my living room to see Syzoth pearing out the window intently. I watched him for a moment as he stared beyond the glass, as if he were looking for something in the sky.

After a few minutes, I could see his expression change—through the reflection of the glass—from concentrated to excited as he exclaimed in a hushed tone, "Yes!"

"Whatcha looking at?" I asked as an amused smirk toyed on my lips. The Zaterran jumped, spinning around on his heels to face me with a sheepish grin.

"H-H-Hi, sunshine! J-Just admiring how clear the sky is tonight." He greeted me, eyes blown wide, not daring to blink once as his face flushed like his hand got caught in the cookie jar.

"Is that so?" I questioned as I raised a brow, not at all believing his excuse.

"Mmhmm!" He hummed as he began fiddling with his hands. From excitement? Anxiety? Who knows? But then he chose to turn the conversation around, raising his arm and holding his hand out for me to take. "Come with me for a moment."

It was an odd request, but he seemed so eager that I couldn't turn it down. Chuckling nervously, I took his hand.

Quickly, he began pulling me along with him towards my apartment door. Though this behavior from my boyfriend was odd—to say the least—I was going to humor him regardless. Clearly, something was going on behind my back and a part of me was eager to learn what it was.

"Come on," Syzoth said as he took me down the hallway, towards the staircase that led to the next floor.

To say I was confused was an understatement, especially when we reached the very top of the stairs and he began walking—with my hand still in his own—in the direction of the door that led to the roof.

"Syzoth, what's going on?" I asked and he squeezed my hand tightly, as if he expected me to let go or pull away.

"Just trust me and follow!" He chuckled as if my confusion was the cutest, most ridiculous thing in the world to him.

When we finally reached the roof, I was even more surprised to see several blankets laid out on the floor. It was almost as if they formed some sort of warm nest. Beside said nest, there was a basket that seemed to be filled with all sorts of candies and snacks as well.

"What is this?" I muttered lowly since I was too focused on my surroundings to speak. That's when Syzoth placed both hands on my shoulders, spinning me around to face him once more.

"Happy anniversary! I thought we could stargaze tonight as we snuggle up together in these blankets!" Syzoth exclaimed proudly, and my heart both pumped harder with love for the man and leaped into my throat due to the sudden realization that I had forgotten such an important milestone in our relationship.

"Sy, I don't know what to say." I said as my expression turned somber. "I... I didn't get you anything in return."

"Oh, that's ok! That isn't what this is about at all. This is actually more of a bonding experience." He smiled lovingly. I cocked my head with a questioning look set in my eyes, so he decided to elaborate. "Lay down and pull up your skirt."

"Huh?!" I gasped, astonished by what he was asking of me.

"Just trust me on this." He shook his head as a hushed giggle left his lips.

Reluctantly, I did as he said. After hearing the metal sounds of a belt buckle being undone, Syzoth laid down beside me and waisted no time before lifting me up in his strong arms and setting me down so I laid flat on top of him. I was comfortable, but then I felt something between my legs and glanced down. My eyes then widen as they focus on the large cock being hugged between my thighs.

Syzoth then throws one of the blankets on top of us, and then his hands sunk below it to grab his member and line it up with his hole. Sex was the last thing I expected right now, but I wasn't complaining. He slowly pushed all inches within my canel, and my lips parted with a breathless moan as he stretched me out. 

He held still for a moment, which I expected. Being way bigger than me, Syzoth always made it a priority to wait for me to adjust to him before ever thrusting his hips once. But then that moment of waiting lasted for a couple of minutes, those minutes eventually leading to even longer. Confused again, I glanced up at my lover to see him gazing at the stars as a sweet smile curled his lips.

"Syzoth?" I spoke up, my voice breaking the silence. He responded with only a soft hum. "Why aren't you moving?"

"I thought it would be nice if we just enjoyed each other's warmth for awhile." He murmured as his arms snaked around me tightly.

The thought never occurred to me, but damn if it wasn't the sweetest thing I had ever heard. Realizing how loved I felt in this moment, I found myself grinning, genuinely happy and content in this moment. Looking back up at the stars, I thanked the heavens for having a man in my life who truly loved me. I couldn't have been more grateful for him being in my life.

I counted each shimmering star in the sky as I relished in the warmth of his embrace and the feeling of his member twitching within my fluttering walls. It was a perfect moment.

"All these beautiful stars in the sky, and not a single one of them is nearly as stunning as you." Syzoth murmured softly in my ear, his warm breath fanning the tender flesh as his thumbs began to gently caress my sides. "I never would have dreamed to find a woman as perfect as you, and yet here you are, in my arms on a beautiful night like this. I truly am so lucky."

I then turned my gaze from the stars to him. I stared into his loving, lime-colored eyes as tears of joy pricked my own. Everything in this moment felt too perfect—good to be true.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." I demanded softly as I lifted my hand to rake it through his soft hair.

Then he leaned in so his lips were just barely grazing the shell of my ear. Between gentle breaths that warmed my skin, I heard him whisper in the sweetest tone I had ever heard. "This is not a dream, sunshine—this is a dream come true."

Once he pulled away just enough to stare into my eyes again, I quickly pressed my lips to his, sealing them into a passionate kiss. My heart fluttered with pure love for this man. It blew my mind how anyone could treat him as if he were nothing more than a freak. Because to me, he was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. And I swore that his soul was brought down from the heavens when he was born into the world. He truly was the greatest gift life had ever given me.

"I love you, Syzoth." I proclaimed after pulling back from our kiss to gaze into his soft orbs once more.

"I love you too, (Y/N)." He whispered back before placing another sweet kiss on my forehead.

We then gave our attention back to the sky. Soon after, a shooting star beamed across the black canvas above us. Though I did not make any wishes, because in reality, I had all that I ever wanted right with me in the moment.

⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒

[hearts4golbach]

Drinking Again.

pairing:

Revenge!Gerard x Fem!Reader.

a/n:

short little blurb because I'm desperate

can you tell revenge era is my favorite?

not proofread

warnings:

pre-established relationship, drinking, angst.

word count:

0.8k

. . .

Your heart shattered a little more with every shot Gerard downed. You felt useless. There wasn't much you could do to get him to stop. Mikey sat next to him, a similar worried demeanor about him.

You pulled yourself out of the stool and stood behind Gerard, gently rubbing his back. "It's time to go, don't you think?" You questioned softly.

He nudged you away with his shoulder. "How many times do I need to tell you, Y/n? I'm fine." He glared over at you, his eyes droopy and bloodshot. He reeked of alcohol and you could barely stand it.

"You're not fine, Gerard. I know you," you lowered your voice. "Let's go home, please?"

"Fuck off," he spat. His tone made you take a step back. It was one of the rare times his voice wasn't soft and careful as he spoke. It was angry.

"Gerard," you attempted to emphasize how serious you were, but it came out more as a plea.

"I don't need you fuckin' protecting me or whatever you think you're doing. Just go home," he waved you away with his hand while the other wrapped around another shot glass.

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You couldn't help but scoff as you looked towards Mikey. He shrugged with a frown present on his face. You knew he'd take care of him, so you did as Gerard told you. You went back to your apartment.

You gripped the steering wheel so tight your knuckles began to turn white. Quiet tears fell from your face as you racked your brain for some way to help. You knew there was nothing you could do until he wanted to get better.

You weren't exactly sure when that would be.

You felt like a zombie as you unlocked your apartment door. You were overwhelmed with so many emotions. You shut the door behind you and leaned against it, sliding down into a sitting position. You prayed you'd get a text from Mikey, maybe even Gerard. You weren't sure if he was okay. God, you could only hope.

You weren't sure how long you sat in the same position, staring at your phone on the floor or at the wall in front of you. A soft knock on the door snapped you out of your trance.

You cracked the door open to see Gerard. "Gee," you said softly, "how did you get here."

"Mikey dropped me off," he slurred, "that's not- that's not important right now."

"Get inside," you instructed, opening the door to allow him in.

Tears filled his hazel eyes as he began to speak. "I fucked up. Fuck, I've been fucking up. I just- I'm so sorry about earlier."

"I know," you wrapped your arms around his neck, "it's okay. Tell me what's going on. I want to help you."

He let out a shaky breath. He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you as tight as he possibly could. His grip loosened before he spoke again. "This shit is so overwhelming. With the new album and everything I- I need an escape."

"Well, what do you think I'm here for?" You pulled away, showing him a soft smile.

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. "I know. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most annoying motherfucker on Earth. I don't wanna bother you, sugar."

You rested your forehead against his. "You're not annoying. That's what I'm here for. We can work through it together, okay?"

He hummed a soft okay. "Can I stay?"

You giggled. "What kind of question is that? C'mon."

You wiped the stray tears from his face before leading him towards your bedroom. You carefully helped him into the pajama bottoms that he kept at your apartment (along with a shit ton of other clothes). He stayed in the same black tee-shirt.

He collapsed into the bed, most likely mentally and physically exhausted. You crawled in next to him, pulling the covers over the two of you. "I love you, you know that, right?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. "I love you so much."

You placed a gentle kiss on his nose as you wrapped your arms around him in return. "I love you. We'll get through this together, okay? I'd walk through hell and back for you."

"Okay," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your lips before nuzzling into you.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Endgame: The Book Report

So here it is. It kinda goes off the rails towards the end. That's the problem with having to drink through this: it's very easy to lose your train of thought, so you end up rambling.

As always, the TL;DR first. I'm goign to use headings and subheadings in the report below for easier skimming.

There aren't many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom but it's still not good.

Scobie definitely holds a grudge for the way he was treated after Finding Freedom published.

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Scobie and the Sussexes don't understand how business works.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

Rage against the machine and media

Not many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.

There isn't a whole lot that's new. Most of the book (maybe 75%/80%) is things we already know about because they were covered extensively by the media when it happened.

Sources. He never names names, so the whole thing is written based on anonymous sources and it doesn't seem reliable. Not to mention, some of the sources read like it might be the same person, but Scobie is treating them as different people so it looks like he has a ton of sources. It suggests, to me, that he doesn't have the kind of access he claims to (which is probably true. There was a leak a couple months ago by one of the royal reporters that Scobie once called them begging for contacts and sources because no one was talking to him) and he's scrambling to cover it up.

Piers Morgan. Scobie confirms that Piers is close to Camilla. They grew up near each other and have fond memories of their hometown that they’ve connected over. There’s a 10-year age gap between them so it’s more like they have people/experiences in common than they played together. Scobie is careful not to say that he thinks Camilla gives information to Piers but he makes it clear that Piers’s loyalty has not gone unrecognized by Camilla.

The Bee, The Wasp, and The Fly. Harry's villains in Spare, which he nicknamed so he wouldn't be sued could speak more openly about them. I remember a lot of guessing about who these were but I can't recall if anyone confirmed their names. Well, Scobie does.

The Bee is Edward Young, whom Harry hates because “Young abused his gatekeeping power, gaslighting him when it came to passing along important messages about his lawsuits to the media, and then prohibiting access to his grandmother when Harry needed her the most, all under the guise of ‘protecting the sovereign’.” Harry and Scobie also believe that Young truly loathed Meghan and “was slow to help find patronages and active roles” for her after the wedding. “Sources say he ‘dithered’ for eight months before nudging Queen Elizabeth II to appoint Meghan as the royal patron for the National Theatre.” (So Meghan is incapable of doing her own work to find suitable charities and patronages? So much for hitting the ground running like she claimed.)

The Wasp is Clive Alderton. He's Charles's crony.

The Fly is Simon Case, whom Harry sees as the cause for his and William’s relationship breaking. In Harry’s perspective, Case made moves that prioritized William’s role as heir without consideration for Harry. Some of Case’s actions felt like they were made to promote William at Harry’s expense (for instance, Harry believes Case pushed British media to attack the Sussexes over their travel by private flight and organized the Cambridges’ commercial Flybe flight to Balmoral with the express purpose of being able to tip off the press). 

Rota System. Scobie describes how the rota works. It is the most complete explanation of how the rota works that I can recall reading in royal books and I can't see them being very happy he pulled the curtain back. (More on this in the 'Media' section further down.)

Courtiers - Scobie explains that in the palace lexicon, a courtier is “a press official or private secretary who manages and offers advice to working royals, strategizes engagements, and releases information.” These are Diana’s “men in gray suits.”

The bombshell - Scobie implies that Harry accused Christian Jones of either hacking his and Meghan’s phones/office(s) and feeding information to Dan Wootton at The Sun or facilitating access for Wootton/The Sun to hack their phones/offices, leading to Wootton’s Megxit scoops.

Scobie doesn’t say that specifically and he’s careful to paint Harry with sympathy but it’s there between the lines. After describing what happened, Scobie writes that Harry was surprised by the Palace’s response, that they were angry at him, not Jones, and that they had arranged a lawyer for Jones (which is, to me, the first subtle hint that Harry wasn’t just complaining and had actually made some kind of accusation). Scobie goes further to say that the Palace interpreted Harry’s complaints as a threat to sue so they lowered the boom and then Harry realized how badly he fucked up so he did the classic “you’re overreacting, that’s not what I said.”

The timeline is a little unclear but from Scobie’s writing, Harry’s “report” to higher authorities of his concerns about Jones and The Sun happened in April 2020 after “starting” in January 2020 at the Sandringham Summit when Harry apparently spoke to William about this. Now, this is where I get a little “be fucking for real.” Let’s be clear: the Megxit statement was Harry announcing his intent to quit and the Sandringham Summit was the BRF saying “we accept your resignation, your last day is X” (which ended up being March 9th, the Commonwealth Service). Which means that by the time April rolled around and Harry made this “report,” he was no longer an employee of the firm; he was, for all intent and purpose, a disgruntled ex-employee with a grudge. Of course the Palace is going to come down hard on him, because they’re going to protect the person who is still there working for them. 

Harry (and Scobie) seem to believe that this “report” of his concerns with The Sun is directly connected to the palace’s decision in July 2020 to cut off all the financial support he and Meghan were still getting from the Crown, including the official private security that Charles was paying for. (This is the second subtle hint that his “report” was actually some kind of accusation or threat.) Maybe there is a correlation, maybe there isn’t. But at the end of the day, Harry fucked around and Harry found out.

(Christian Jones comes up again in the Media section.) 

It's not as bad as Finding Freedom, but it's still not good.

Finding Freedom. One of the things everyone roasted Scobie on was all the merching, name-dropping and brand promotion that was in Finding Freedom. He must have learned his lesson because there’s very little of this. In that regard, Endgame isn’t as obnoxious to read.

The Crown. Scobie mentions The Crown a few times and talks about a couple of plot points. It only happens three or four times, but it’s a definite clue that his audience is the casual royal watcher here only for the drama. It’s hard to take him (or anyone, really) serious when he’s compelled to base the veracity of something happening on whether, or how, The Crown covered it.

Editing and fact-checking. The editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) isn’t as bad as in Spare, but Scobie and his team definitely have some mistakes. Someone on that team doesn’t know how to write a list, so there’s a lot of strange clauses and phrases.

With the fact-checking, there are a few glaring errors that close followers/watchers of the royal family will pick up. The most egregious one is this sentence:

During a conversation just hours after the September 19, 2022, funeral of Prince Philip, Harry confronted his father and brother about why nothing was done on Meghan’s behalf.

Philip’s funeral was April 17, 2021, and we know there was a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards. The Queen’s funeral was September 19, 2022, and no one reported a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards, so I don’t think it happened there. (Also William wasn’t talking to Harry by September 2022 - Scobie makes it painfully clear that William was both refusing to see Harry and refusing to take his calls.)

However, if you google Prince Philip’s funeral, you get this:

The truth is that Philip’s funeral was on April 17, 2021. But Philip wasn’t actually buried (i.e., placed in his final resting place) then. That had to wait until The Queen’s funeral, and it was widely announced at the time that he would wait. The Queen and Prince Philip were both interred together on the evening of September 19, 2022, in a private family-only service.

So that’s some very lazy fact-checking. It's Internet 101: Verify, verify, verify.

Other similar instances:

Scobie’s description of The Queen’s return home to London: "Five days into the ten-day period of national mourning, King Charles and Camilla, Queen Consort, received the coffin at RAF Northolt, on the western outskirts of London. It was there the royal family handed over her body to the public she served--Her Majesty then lay in state until the day of her funeral." (Charles and Camilla weren’t at RAF Northolt. They received the coffin at Buckingham Palace - remember, Scobie? When you got the only photograph of the moment because Meghan tipped you off?, and the family didn’t “hand over” The Queen until the following day, Day Six.) (Here’s the livestream from RAF Northolt; go to 25:07 for a view of the receiving party).

Scobie writes that Sara Latham was working for the Sussexes in Summer 2018, but she wasn’t hired until March 2019. (The specific quote is in the Meghan’s Lapdog section below.)

Scobie writes that William “automatically became the Prince of Wales--the Duke of Cornwall in England and the Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew in Scotland” on the Queen’s death and Charles’s accession. William got the Duke of Cornwall and the rest on Charles’s accession. Charles had to bestow Prince of Wales on him.

The second instance of fact-checking that jumps out is Scobie’s own fact-checking on misinformation about Harry and Meghan, yet he perpetuates it against other members of the royal family. Here’s an example. Scobie discusses how News of the World published stories about Harry's drug use as a teenager but then goes on to say:

While Harry has admitted to spending many nights at Highgrove getting high and drunkenly falling into trouble at a local pub in Wiltshire, the story failed to mention that this rebellious time in his life was partly the result of Charles leaving him alone at his country mansion for a majority of the summer in 2002.

But then Scobie gives only partial stories for other royals, conveniently leaving out the pieces that nullify his argument:

It's impossible to forget the time Kensington Palace issued an official statement in defense of Kate after a plastic surgeon had suggested to a newspaper that she, then the Duchess of Cambridge, had 'baby Botox' injections to reduce wrinkles.

and

And who can forget when [Edward and Sophie] was sent to Antigua and Barbados, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Saint Lucia just one month after William and Kate's flop Caribbean tour?

and

“There is even a rumor (one that, surprisingly, sources have confirmed) that Charles likes to have someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him ahead of his bedtime routine.”

The truth is that KP only took action about Kate's baby Botox claims because the surgeon was using her image to promote his practice. And the way Scobie describes the then-Wessex tour of the Caribbean, he means for us to think it was an apology tour after the terribly-received Cambridge tour, but that is not at all the case: the Cambridge tour and the Wessex tour were both announced on the same day, in the same press release. And yes, Charles did once have someone toothpaste his toothbrush, but only when he had a broken arm/wrist and couldn’t do it himself.

Citations. Let me ask you a quick question first. When you read a nonfiction book like this, you expect the author to cite their sources in the text, right? You want the footnotes and the endnotes so you can look up where things are coming from, right? Well, not Scobie! He lumps his sources and citations together in a “credits” section at the end of the book. If you want to know what a source says or which article he’s referencing, good luck. For me, this is terrible practice because it obscures and obfuscates the strength of his work. It calls a lot of questions about the accuracy of his reporting that he can’t properly attribute his quotes, sources, or reference materials and makes the possibility that his entire book is the same handful of anonymous sources more likely.

Strange interludes. Throughout the book, there are strange interludes of, well, history lessons. There are sections on Charles II and William IV, sections about Hamlet and Beckett, and Scobie even discusses Lucy Worlsey’s book on Georgian courtiers (YOU KEEP LUCY WORLSEY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH **Will Smith slap**). I see what he’s doing - he’s trying to connect the issues in the modern House of Windsor with other periods of institutional stability - but it doesn’t really work. It’s awkward. In some places it works better than others, like the piece about Worlsey’s courtiers goes easily with Scobie’s discussion of Charles’s courtiers. But to bring up William IV only to point out how Charles is older than him? It’s clunky.

What exactly is this book? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a cultural interpretation of the modern House of Windsor in the new Carolean age through the lens of media relations. 

Sometimes it’s Scobie’s memoir. He puts himself in the middle of these stories a lot, to the point where it’s like 50% his personal recollection and 50% commentary. We get it, man. You have a fabulous job with access to the kinds of people and events the rest of us can only dream about it. But it’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. Take yourself out of it.

Sometimes it’s an investigative journalism-like expose. It reminds me a lot of the works by the muckrakers, who were working hard to expose corruption and implement reform. There are sections of the book that feels preachy, where Scobie is writing about his ideas for how the palace’s relationship with the media need to change or how their stance on race relations could modernize, and when it’s not accepted or taken seriously, you can feel his anger seeping off the page that no one’s listening to him. 

And sometimes it reads as if it’s been ghostwritten by Meghan and Harry themselves. There are some stories, some quotes, some details–especially post-Megxit–that could only come from them, or people very close to them in California. And you know, given how intensely private Harry and Meghan are, they absolutely consented to those stories being part of Scobie’s book. Scobie tries hard to cover those tracks but it leaks through. Here are some of those quotes/sections:

The next morning, after a further Palace update warned that her doctors were 'concerned for Her Majesty's health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision,’ an insider messaged me to say, 'It's not looking good.' For a multitude of reasons, I hoped the warning would turn out to be false. Arriving at ABC News' offices that Thursday afternoon, I received a text from someone very close to the family. As I caught my breath in the elevator of the Disney-owned building, 'A Spoonful of Sugar' was playing quietly in the background, making a surreal moment even more so. 'Please don't say anything yet, but I think it's happened,' they wrote. I responded with a follow-up, checking that I understood their message correctly. No doubt trying to get confirmation of their own, the source--someone whose word I had come to trust over recent years--didn't reply.

and

[Princess Michael] later apologized for the indiscretion (though never directly to Meghan), but according to sources, the princess still shrugs and wrinkles her lip when the subject comes up. 'I don't think she particularly cared,' a senior royal source told me.

(how would Scobie know she never apologized directly to Meghan?)

and

As the morning sun rises over Santa Barbara, bathing the steep Santa Ynez Mountains, and the Pacific Ocean sparkles with California's trademark glow, the sprawling Sussex compound in the wealthy enclave of Montecito is already popping. With Meghan already preparing a family breakfast in the kitchen, Prince Harry is busy getting the couple's children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, ready for nursery school and toddler playgroup, respectively. Despite the staff on hand to help during the daytime, when Harry and Meghan shift into work mode, the Sussexes keep their mornings as time 'for the family only,' said a source--no staff.

and

The Sussexes' team received correspondence from Buckingham Palace's Keeper of the Privy Purse Sir Michael John Stevens, who informed Harry and Meghan that, as they were no longer working royals or based in Britain, they needed to give up the keys to their royal rental, Frogmore Cottage. Although there were reports to the contrary some months later, I spoke to a source close to the couple on the day they were informed, and there was a clear feeling of shock and disappointment as the news sunk in.

Kate. How Scobie writes of Kate reveals that he may not be as close to the Waleses as he claims:

And now, like Diana, she, too, is the Princess of Wales. It’s a title that carries a huge and extremely important legacy, but sources close to the royal (who, for those wondering, ‘is just as happy being called Kate as she is Catherine’) say she is surprisingly ‘unfazed’ by her new destination.

I’m specifically talking about why he calls her Kate versus Catherine. (And I have issues with “surprisingly ‘unfazed’” too.) Yes, everyone knows that at one point, she was called Kate. But it’s been made very clear that she prefers to be called Catherine. She introduces herself as Catherine. William and the family calls her Catherine. She signs her letters, cards, and tweets as Catherine. She asked her own friends and her own family to call her Catherine. Nobody calls her Kate except the public, and I feel pretty confident in saying that the “call me Kate or Catherine” message was explicitly intended for the general public, because she isn’t going to be all ‘ahem, my name is CATHERINE’ to fourteen-year-old Jennifer who’s so excited to see her, and the press decided to lump themselves into that category because their SEO is tied to ‘Kate.’

But what I’ve noticed is that people in the traditional press are starting to call her Catherine, especially those that write books. The shift seems to have begun when The Queen passed and Kate became The Princess of Wales.

So for Scobie to happily call her Kate and justify it with ‘well she said it’s OK!’ when she very clearly prefers Catherine makes him more uncredible. He can call Meghan by her preferred name. Why can’t he call Kate ‘Catherine’ because she prefers it?

(As for “surprisingly unfazed” - listen. The woman took William back seventeen years ago KNOWING that this was her future. That’s 4 years “pre-engaged” and almost 13 years of marriage, and you’re telling me you’re shocked, just SHOCKED, that she was prepared to be the Princess of Wales? Scobie, please.)

Scobie holds a HUGE grudge about the way he was treated after Finding Freedom.

He’s not Meghan’s lapdog! Much of the criticism Scobie endured from Finding Freedom were allegations of how close he was to Meghan. He denies, denies, denies all through Endgame, and those statements are dripping with scorn and derision. He absolutely hates that people don’t take him seriously because of a perceived connection to Meghan:

The papers would often refer to me, incorrectly, as Harry and Meghan's 'pal,' another lie largely created to delegitimize the details I was sharing from sources close to the couple that often went against narratives that tabloids were reporting.

He goes to great lengths to tell us and make sure we know that he is not close with Harry and Meghan, that he is close to their communication aides/staff. That may or may not be true, but it certainly does not help his case when he keeps saying things like:

During the peak of [Meghan's racism on-slaught and Scobie's social media pile-on] in late summer 2018, I received a call that I thought was from the couple's head of communications at the time, Sara Latham. We had been texting back and forth about an upcoming royal engagement. 'Hi, Omid!' a female voice chirped. It was different to Latham's northwestern American accent. 'It's Meghan.' I put my iced coffee down, not quite sure if the call was a prank. 'We saw your name keep coming up on the phone...and I just wanted to say high, see how you're doing.' Sara had mentioned to her that I was dealing with my own online harassment and threats.

and

When the couple left their children in California with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, and a nanny to visit the United Kingdom and Germany for five days of engagements in September 2022, neither knew that the quick-fire trip would result in a two-week return to royal drama. Neither did I. During this visit, I joined some of their engagements and watched as Meghan gave a speech to teenagers and young adults at the One Young World summit in Manchester.

and

That summer, Christian Jones--who remained at Kensington Palace to oversee all the Cambridges' media efforts--messaged me out of the blue to say it would no longer be appropriate to socialize. Another aide later told me that William had requested this. As we approached 2020, I felt the growing strains on my working relationship with Kensington Palace, who were also much more guarded when it came to their own communication with the Sussex team at Buckingham Palace. I was still invited to the private briefings and announcements but, two months after returning from an October tour with the Sussexes in southern Africa, one of William's aides revealed that William felt 'uncomfortable' with my relationship with the Sussex team.

He’s so close to the Sussexes that Meghan has personally spoken to him, that he was invited to cover their fauxyal tour in September 2022, and William himself is uncomfortable with the access he has to Harry and Meghan. And he doesn’t see how or why people may think he’s in Meghan’s pocket?

It’s very clear that Scobie thinks of himself to be a consummate journalism professional, a neutral third-party whose only loyalty is to truth and fact. According to himself, he can report a Cambridge/Wales versus Sussex issue fairly, accurately, and evenly, but the way he describes certain events taking place tells us that part of his dislike for William is because William never gave Scobie the opportunity to prove it; William, or William’s team, saw Scobie getting closer to the Sussexes and nipped his “both sides of the fence” strategy in the bud. This, I suspect, is why he’s so offended when people accuse him of being close to Meghan and Harry - because by being so closely linked to the Sussexes, he lost preferential treatment from the Cambridges and that absolutely reflects poorly on him. 

Lost access. Scobie is very transparent and very clear that he lost sources and access to Kensington Palace several times because of his “loyalty” to the Sussexes, most especially after Finding Freedom published:

Owing to a unique pool of sources and a refusal to follow the crowd, I quickly became a trusted confidante for many in and around the younger family--a true insider. But all that changed in late 2020 after the publication of my first book, Finding Freedom, about Harry and Meghan's whirlwind journey in, and out of, the House of Windsor...The fear of damaging revelations scared the family and angered powerful Palace operatives, and it also put a mark on my back...I'm still in the mix, but let's just say I'm no longer the journalist who some in the family, or the more royalist-leaning correspondents, are thrilled to see at engagements. Having moved away from playing the Palace game of give-and-take to maintain access, I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution.

While he’s mostly bitter that Finding Freedom cost him sources and affiliation, he also sees it as a badge of honor, arrogantly boasting:

I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution. Why? Because I know--and share--too much. For four years, some of the most damaging in Windsor history, I witnessed the full scope of the deceptions, malice, and defensive posturing of an unstable family business and an institution in decline. I saw how far they would go to save their own skin, the deep corrosion at the heart of the royal establishment, and I've witnessed the human damage done because of it."

and

Parts of this book will burn my bridges for good. But to tell the full story, there’s no holding back. Not anymore. We’re in the endgame. (Isn’t this the same speech Ironman gives in Avengers: Endgame?)

The hypocrisy is unreal.

Overly sympathetic to the Sussexes. We all knew that Endgame would be clearly biased in favor of the Sussexes since that’s where Scobie has drawn battle lines, but the extent to which he gives Harry grace and sympathy is beyond astounding and, at times, beggars belief.

For instance, one of the constant lines throughout the book is how frequently Harry keeps trying to reach out to Charles and William to have “conversations.” In Scobie’s world, Harry is completely absolved of anything he may or may not have done to upset Charles and anger William, that the lack of relationship between Charles/William and Harry is completely on Charles and William because Harry is always communicating, always reaching out, always wants to talk, always available for a call. Scobie makes it clear that Harry (and Meghan) expect apologies and accountability. But where is Harry and Meghan taking accountability and making apologies for what they did? There’s a fundamental inability for any of them on “Team Sussex” to realize that if they truly desire a conversation and apologies, then they need to apologize first; doing so would make it clear to Charles and William that they’re serious about resolving these issues. 

Except I think they know that. The way Scobie phrases some of this seems to hint that the Sussexes know being able to have this conversation means they need to take accountability for their own behavior/actions and apologize to Charles and William. But they won’t because they thrive on the attention and drama that making these demands every quarter brings them. It’s the only way they have been able to reliably and consistently stay in the news.

And one of the more infuriating comments Scobie makes is this one:

One is left to wonder if William of Anglesey or William the air ambulance pilot would have left his sibling out in the cold in the same way.

Why is the broken brotherhood all on William? Why is it exclusively related to William coming to terms with his status in the family? Why isn’t there equal accountability on Harry, who takes such pride and ownership in being a soldier, who’s talked about the guilt of having to leave my guys behind? If William of Anglesey or William the Air Ambulance Pilot wouldn’t leave Harry out in the cold, then Scobie needs to equally ask: Would Captain Harry Wales have abandoned his brother and left him behind?

Bias against William and Kate. We also knew that Endgame would be a smear job against William and Kate. Scobie doesn’t let us down. He delights in pointing out how awful William is to be thinking about a future without Charles (forgetting that Charles did the same thing to The Queen, and also when The Queen was much younger than Charles is now). He’s thrilled to paint William as a ruthless bully in the way he manages his staff and how his staff is equally ruthless in the way they engage/interact with other staffs, especially in communications and media relations.

What surprised me is that Scobie isn’t as venomous as he usually is in his coverage of her, which often is rooted in the relationship between Kate and Meghan. He does get his digs in, don’t get me wrong:

He calls her workshy and lazy without saying the words directly: “Where other senior royals are out and about several times a week…Kate has long maintained a smaller work schedule that helped her check off the required royal boxes while saving time for her roles as a mother and wife.”

He reinforces the “Carole is the master schemer” rumor: “Carole saw that the pretty and grounded Kate was ready to carry the family name further to the top…The Middleton strategy involved more than just aristocratic affectation–Carole calculatingly placed Kate right at the center of young Prince William’s world….Carole set things up, and Kate took it the rest of the way.”

He mentions the “plastic princess designed to breed” article.

He says that Kate’s Hold Still project was the same thing as Meghan’s Hubb Community cookbook. (On the surface they are similar, yes, but Meghan slapped her name on the cookbook and took credit for everything whereas Kate was involved with the Hold Still book from Day One with the initial contest and took credit only for the actual introduction she wrote, letting the community own the actual content.)

He brings up the unfriendliness with Meghan: “She spent more time talking about Meghan than talking to her…Kate has jokingly shivered when Meghan’s name has come up around her”.

And of course, it's not a smear job until the Rose rumors are addressed. Don't worry. They're here too.

There’s plenty more where this comes from, but Scobie’s overall portrayal of Kate is that he sees her as a victim to the palace machinery who survived on the basis of being willing to submit fully to the “palace personality makeover.” She has succeeded where Meghan, Diana, and Sarah failed because she was willing to be trained (why, Scobie claims, The Queen liked her) and she had William’s protection to keep the monarchy from corrupting her. It’s an interesting spin that I didn’t expect from Scobie, but he takes it too far with a metaphor that the Palace has stifled her individuality: 

"Here's the thing about [the weeping blue cedar Kate planted at an event in 2019]: It's naturally slow-growing and requires adequate space for its sculptural branches and cascading needles. But if there is too much pruning, or the space around it is too restricted, the tree ends up taking on an odd shape and loses the character that made it so special in the first place."

Because in blaming it all on the Palace, Scobie conveniently leaves out any accountability for himself or the press in the way they treated, and have, at times, mocked Kate, such as:

Some journalists who have been approached by publishers to author biographies about the Princess of Wales have turned down the chance. 'I'd barely be able to do a chapter, let alone an entire book,' one joked to me. (Even so, a Kate book would sell like gangbusters. Missed opportunity if you ask me.)

and

[M]ainstream coverage of Kate in the British papers is overwhelmingly positive, often bordering on infantilizing the princess, with articles marveling at her ability to perform the simplest of tasks (think enthusiastic reporting about kicking a soccer ball or flipping a pancake or how amazing it is that she can assume a perfect 'princess pose' in photographs).

Scobie seems unable to realize that the reason Kate has retreated “further into” the palace machinery is because the press keeps pushing her into it. She has kept her individuality and her personality and her “Kate”-ness, but it’s reserved only for those close to her and only for the general public that genuinely cares for her. The “palace persona” that Scobie sees her in is the elevated version of herself she presents to the press. And why wouldn't she let them see who she really is? They mock her and belittle her any chance they get!

The hypocrisy, overall. It’s just exhausting. Scobie plays everyone against each other, sometimes even contradicting his own stories.

We can be ageist but not racist - discriminating against Lady Susan Hussey is okay because she’s eighty years old and that disqualifies her from public service.

It’s okay for Harry to complain but not William or Charles.

It’s okay for people to not know who the Earl and Countess of Wessex are but everyone in the whole damn world must know who Oprah is.

It’s okay for Charles to plan his future but not William.

It’s okay for Charles to own six properties but William can’t have three.

It’s okay for Harry to use the media to settle grievances, but not Charles.

It’s okay for Charles to show leadership, but not William.

It’s okay for the Dutch royals to let scholarly research on their role in the slave trade determine how, where, and when they apologize for their colonialism but the BRF needs to apologize and make reparations immediately.

It’s okay for Meghan to have help at home and prioritize family time, but not Kate.

It’s okay for Harry to cash in on Diana’s memory but not anyone else, and certainly not William.

It’s okay for the Queen to take lots of time off because she works a lot but not Kate, who doesn’t work because she has children. (Is raising children not work?)

It’s okay for the Queen to avoid talking to the media, but not Kate.

It’s okay for the Sussexes to have preferred reporters but not the Cambridges/Waleses.

It’s okay to tackle misinformation about Harry, not anyone else.

It’s okay for Charles to upstage the Queen/his parent but not for William to upstage the King/his parent.

It’s okay for Harry to blindside his family announcing things to the media first, but not anyone else.

Scobie and the Sussexes have no idea how actual business works.

So many times I thought “tell me you don’t know about the corporate world without telling me you don’t know about the corporate world.”

The biggest giveaway that they have no idea how businesses operate is this mutually-held idea that change must be immediate and must begin as soon as someone thinks of it. There’s no regard for policy, no regard for process, no regard for procedures, no regard for research, no regard for any kind of preparation to make it a lasting, effective success.

Here’s an example, from Scobie:

But it would be hasty to unreservedly believe that real change is on the horizon for the wider royal establishments just yet. In 2023, it was reported that 9.7 percent of employees in Buckingham Palace were from ethnic minority backgrounds (up from 9.6 percent the previous year) and Kensington Palace employed 16.3 percent (up from 13.6 percent). The numbers appear to be ticking up in the right direction, but a closer look at the senior staffers around royal family members reveal a predominantly white lineup (exclusively, in the case of communications team members and private secretaries at William and Kate's household). It depressingly shows that the majority of non-white employees are at junior levels or working in more service industry-type positions.

This reads like Scobie’s expectation is for the Palace to fire their existing teams and replace them exclusively with diversity hires - but even that isn’t an effective solution because everyone would just scream “it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just for the PR!” The kind of institutional change Scobie is demanding actually takes a lot of time to implement, more than the few days he thinks it should. They have to wait for vacancies to open up or, if they’re going to create a new position, then it’s even more complicated:

Where in your budget is the money coming from to be able to pay the new person their salary and benefits? What project isn’t going to happen? What program is going to get canceled?

What exactly are they going to do? If you’re taking X duties from Jane, then what is Jane going to do now?

Where are they going to sit? What kind of technology do they need? What kind of resources, access, passwords, keys?

What’s the priority for this staffing need? What aren’t you going to do because you’re going to do this hire instead? What position isn’t going to get filled? What project isn’t going to get done? 

Should the palace be hiring more diversely? Yes, absolutely. But it’s going to take time. It’s not going to change very much in one year. But what can change in one year is the recruitment strategy behind hiring, and that’s something that Scobie could actually get answers on. Are they still recruiting from the usual places or have they diversified and branched out? Are they doing blind hiring (where they remove all the personally identifying information like race, gender, name, education)? Are they recruiting from the Commonwealth realms? And this is what someone like Scobie should be asking the BRF to uphold their accountability.

Here’s another example:

Naturally, as paid members of the team, household staff for each of the three offices look out for the royals they represent. This is where 'briefings' get complicated, because while the aides are all working to prop up the Crown, they owe nothing to the family members they don't report to.

Um…does Scobie not know that he’s described every single organization and every single job? Everyone at the company works to support the company but you only owe results to the people you report to. Does he not see this at his own magazines or has he freelanced for so long he doesn’t remember what a “real” job is like?

Family businesses. Harry, Meghan, and Scobie cannot see the firm as a business. They look at and perceive everything through the lens of ‘family.’ This is, probably, the biggest “lightbulb” moment I had in reading Endgame. Harry and Meghan don’t understand, or they don’t care to understand, that there’s a family side to the monarchy and that there’s a business side to the monarchy. Everything they have done, they’ve done through the family side, hoping to leverage their personal relationships for change and action, when it was really a matter for the business side. 

And all of their problems with William, with the courtiers, with how things are done, is because they viewed the monarchy as “family first, family always” when everyone else understood, fundamentally, that there’s a time for family and a time for business. And what’s interesting is that William and Kate - forasmuch as they prioritize their own family (scaled back diaries and long breaks overlapping with the kids’ school holidays), they also prioritize the monarchy and the business side of it. They show up when it matters: they do the ceremonies, they do the walkabouts, they do the small talk, they promote the work and the people and the culture of Britain. 

Here are some quotes from Scobie illustrating how he, and the Sussexes, think “family only”:

Over time, William increasingly complained about Meghan to aides and family members. He didn't like how opinionated she was, how she spoke to his staff, and how much of her Markle family dramas were in the press. 'William shifted away from acting like a brother and became more like someone only focused [on the Crown]," a source close to the Sussexes said.

and

Charles vanished into the sacred Crown's engulfing orbit, leaving William to face the royal family's new chapter and the institution's increasing demands without his brother close by, the one person in the world who can empathize with all that's in store for him.

and

During the days ahead, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile, praying the press wouldn't turn their attention to them but remain rightfully focused on the loss of a beloved monarch. 'There was an incredible sense of sadness,' said a family source. 'For them, the Queen was one of their last strong links to the family. She always made them feel welcome. Without her...it will never be the same.

And this is in addition to Harry expecting to keep the perks of monarchy as “just” a family member that I mentioned in the “bombshell” section. He really thought he could have his life, “career,” and family fully subsidized by the business profit because he’s the CEO’s son/grandson. He’s so gobsmacked in July 2020 to realize that not everyone sees the monarchy as “family first, family always” that it literally breaks him. All of his lawsuits and all of his fighting since then has been trying to force the BRF to remodel themselves into his vision of “family first, family always” so he can get his perks back without having to work another day in his life.

An important conversation on race gets lost.

I know that race and race relations can be painful to talk about, but this is incredibly important. I don’t want to wade in too deep into it because these are conversations that aren’t easy to have through screens.

The monarchy, the institution, needs to change to be more conscientious of the power dynamics at play between an aristocratic white family who made their money on the backs of labor, land, and servants and a fast-changing world demanding more and more accountability. Charles's endorsement of the research project that the University of Manchester and the Historical Royal Palaces is a good start, as Scobie also recognizes, but there needs to be more and they can't just wipe their hands off when the report gets published saying "We did our piece. What's next?" There needs to be more and I hope there is more.

Scobie makes a lot of good, important points in his discussion (like it's not enough for the BRF to remove offensive pieces of art or contextualize their collections and they can't hold these discussions behind closed doors and that the public/the Commonwealth realms deserve to have a say in what happens next). But he also makes a few points that seem to indicate he doesn’t fully understand just how complicated race relations are, particularly when it comes to their intersection with politics. Scobie seems to think that the royal family, including the monarch (The Queen at the time), should disregard the “don’t get involved in politics” principle on a case-by-case basis to be able to speak out and support communities suffering injustice and inequality. It’s a fine line to tow; at what point is something “worthy” enough of the royal family to speak out? And how is something judged “worthier” than another to warrant royal intervention? And why has the press nominated themselves to judge that line, instead of, you know, the actual public the monarchy serves?

Probably the most disappointing thing about this section is how misplaced it feels in comparison to the overall book and message. 90% of the book is about media relations; Scobie's relationships with communications staffers, the relationship the palace has with the media, the dynamics at play between aides, principals, and the media. And then there’s a chapter on race. It's as misfitting as the chapter on Andrew (which largely just serves only to let Scobie remind everyone of the Epstein affiliations because Charles seems to be sweeping it under the rug). And that is horrific for Scobie to do; the palace's inability, or unwillingness, to recognize their role in a near-global racial disparity should not, cannot, and must not be equivalent to Andrew's scandals.

Purely from an editorial standpoint, this chapter would have been much stronger, much more compelling, and probably more thought-provoking if it was a standalone essay or part of a larger work that specifically examined racial and ethnic diversity in modern institutions of power or modern monarchies. I think Scobie shoots himself in the foot a little if his goal is to have a conversation and introduce reform by burying it in a book about media and communications. 

I do hope Scobie considers writing more on this. In fact, I think if he did do a larger and more critical piece about diversity, he might be able to earn back some of the professional credit he’s lost by becoming so closely affiliated with the Sussexes.

Rage against the machine and the media

(It kind of goes off the rails here. Apologies in advance.)

Royal rota system. So there are two rota/pool systems. One is for broadcast/television reporters. One is for the newspaper/print reporters. “Royal rota” as it’s used in the royal-watching community popularly refers to the newspaper pool.

The rota is a system where members take turns reporting back to the larger group all the information (and gossip - Scobie makes it very clear that the royal reporters absolutely engage in gossip as much as we do) from royal engagements where open coverage isn’t possible or when a larger group isn’t necessary (i.e., “boring”). The smaller rota pool is one print reporter, one television camera/broadcaster, a couple of photographers, and someone from the Press Association. This smaller group travels “inside” with the royal while everyone else waits outside in a designated press pen for arrivals and departures.

There are 10 print publications that participate in the rota. Only established British national papers are allowed. There have been occasional exceptions for the London Evening Standard and Hello. No Commonwealth publications, no foreign publications (albeit one exception), and no digital publications/media sites are permitted to join.

The exception to the “no foreign publications” rule is US media. Americans are not officially part of the rota but in about 2010ish, the rota invited two US-based reporters (Scobie and one other person) to unofficially join the rota on a honorary basis. They were given access to the pool reporting notes and could join the rota’s press pen at engagements, which had priority access. This changed in 2017 with Meghan’s arrival, because with Meghan came more US media. The new American reporters complained to the rota’s oversight officials on grounds of fairness (i.e., Scobie and the other guy were getting more information and more access than all the other Americans) and the decision was made to take them off the rota.

And just who made that decision? Who’s in charge of the rota? Drumroll please…

The Daily Mail. Rebecca English, specifically.

But how it comes across in the book is that Scobie believes, bitterly and scornfully, that he was demoted from the rota because of his closeness to the Sussexes, and specifically Meghan. It really isn’t looking good for his denial that he treats Meghan “objectively.” He says that English told him he was pulled from the rota because he had become, largely, an American television news reporter and in classic Sussex whataboutism, Scobie says she “conveniently ignor[ed] my role as royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar.” Well, Scobie, you seem to be conveniently ignoring that Harper’s Bazaar is an American publication which further disqualifies you. That’s quite the entitlement.

The rota is overseen by the News Media Association. They appoint press “captains” - there’s two, one for the everyday and one for overseas tours - who manage assignments, the rotation, and ensures that everyone is getting the reports. Rebecca English has been the captain for thirteen years, which Scobie sees as a “monopoly.” Valentine Low, of The Times, is the overseas tour captain.

And that, to me, sheds a little bit more light on Harry’s vendetta against The Daily Mail. He hates that they “control” the rota and how firmly enmeshed the rota (i.e. The Daily Mail, in Harry’s mind) is with Palace operations. Harry says in Spare (which Scobie helpfully reproduces): “I'd had it with the royal rota, both the individuals and the system, which was more outdated than the horse and cart...It discouraged fair competition, engendered cronyism, and encouraged a small mob of hacks to feel entitled.”

Scobie feels the same way, and while he’s a bit more polite about it, he is equally as bitter:

Restricted access for Commonwealth outlets, digital news organizations, or US publications (the latter being relevant to a newly installed American duchess in the House of Windsor) didn't make much sense to man of us. With the support of two senior Palace aides, I wrote a letter to relevant senior individuals at Buckingham palace about why it was important to have an additional position in the rota--one that could at least be shared by the aforementioned groups. Harry, I was told, was also keen to back the effort. But it quickly hit a dead end. Rather than decide themselves, palace aides called in [Rebecca] English and The Times' royal correspondent Valentine Low, the rota's overseas tour captain (who was admittedly far less bothered about petty politics and mostly attempted to be fair in this less-involved role), for a meeting. English told them that letting 'others' in would be unacceptable. 'To be honest the rota is just a headache none of us want to deal with. It's easier to just leave it as it is,' a senior courtier said with a shrug over coffee with me. Yet another case of institutional fear and blinkered acceptance of the status quo when it comes to the media.

Scobie’s entire focus is on restoring his access to the rota. It’s not unlike Harry’s entire focus of media reform being on positive press coverage. 

Speaking of Harry, Scobie immediately drops another revelation, one that directly played into Megxit:

Harry and Meghan, who were having their own conversations about the same issue, were then told that if they wanted to break away from the rota system and give other journalists access to their work, they would have to foot the bill for their own engagements. The list for their reasons to leave was getting longer by the month. 

Concern about cronyism, outdated tools because ‘status quo’, and a refusal to modernize are legitimate complaints, absolutely. It would be far more beneficial if the rota system was overhauled completely to reflect today’s diverse media environment. (Not to mention, adding some spots for Commonwealth and realm publications could very well have an impact on the kind of coverage being reported back home.) But once again, Harry’s entitlement leaps off the page here.

He is such a penny-pincher that he couldn’t put up his own money to institute the kind of change he wanted to see. It wasn’t his responsibility, you see. His job is to make demands, but it’s up to everyone else around him to do the actual work, to pay for his ideas, to implement the change he desires. And circling back to the “Harry has no idea how a business works” theme from earlier, this betrays what Harry thinks “business” or “work” is. Harry thinks “work” is just showing up at the appointed time, reading the provided script, sharing a genius idea or two, shaking hands, and returns in 3 months expecting to see 10 years of progress on his genius idea so he can take all the credit. Harry absolutely is not capable of comprehending exactly how much happens behind the scenes to make his idea reality. It’s no wonder why Invictus Games is sinking like the Titanic. It’s no wonder why Archewell has plateaued. No one is interested in buffing up Harry’s ego anymore. No one is interested in implementing his ideas because he refuses to help or contribute.

But you know who does? William. William has an idea or William wants to see a change, William puts his head down and does the work to recruit the people, give direction, and find the funding. When the press start spreading lies or misinformation, William doesn't just sit there and complain at people to protect him. He uses his own resources to fix the problem, which Scobie (and Harry) perceive as the problem: William as heir has more power than Harry does to protect his wife. That's not what's happening. What's happening is that William doesn't take 'no' for an answer and he works the business till he gets what he wants. Harry gets told 'no' and he tries to manipulate the family to get what he wants...but the family can't do anything.

At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with power, or money, or status, or resources, and what William has that Harry doesn't. It’s that the Cambridges/Waleses are willing and able to do the work themselves. They put their money where their mouth is while Harry and Meghan prefer to buy knockoff athletic competitions and ice cream trucks that they can slap their name on and reap glory.

And Harry is so short-sighted. There would have been absolutely zero harm in abandoning the royal rota for one week or one month, paying out of pocket for press coverage with the “specialist media”, “grassroots media organizations and young, emerging journalists” and seeing what happened? If the experiment failed, then that gives him legitimate grounds to complain that the rota blacklisted him and more people would be sympathetic to the cause. But if the experiment was a success? Oh, man, it would’ve been the modern equivalent to Lord Altrincham’s recommendations to The Queen and Harry could have coasted on that for the rest of his life. Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now William will be the one to reform the press when the time comes, all because Harry freaked out at “do it yourself.”

(Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me. He and Meghan are so desperate for this ‘changemaker’ label yet when they were presented with the opportunity to do just that–albeit at their own expense–they bailed. How dare you -- spend my money on other people?! Meghan couldn’t have clutched Diana’s pearls any tighter.)

Palace relationships. I’ve said it in a few other places here, but Scobie’s book is largely about the relationships between the palaces and the media. There’s nothing really new here and it’s mostly an opportunity for Scobie to brag about how close he is to certain people and how much access he has for his reporting.

Scobie absolutely hates the team at Kensington Palace and the deeper into the book you read, the more it becomes apparent that he isn’t targeting William and Kate as much as he’s targeting the communications team that works for them. Christian Jones and Jason Knauf, to be more specific. Scobie doesn’t like how readily they appeared to do William’s bidding, how fiercely the palace protected them when Harry (and Scobie, remember, he likes to put himself in the middle of everything) called it out, and how freely they seemed to work the press for amiable coverage of William and Kate:

My proof of Kensington Palace's schemes at work wasn't just in the newspaper coverage. I also had close working relationships with Buckingham Palace aides and people on Harry and Meghan's team. Back in 2019, one of the Sussexes' main communication aides felt strongly that William's staff, led by press secretary Christian Jones, crossed a line with the mental health stories. One of the couple's team called me the moment the 'William's concerns for Harry' front pages dropped. 'It's pretty disgusting that they would pull out the mental health card for this...None of them care for his health,' the aide said. As Harry later shared, 'They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.' This wasn't Christian Jones's first rodeo, and he was just one of many at Kensington Palace who engaged in these tactics. William's private secretary Simon Case and communications secretary-turned-senior-advisor Jason Knauf also shared details with preferred reporters to quell rumors about the broken relationship between the Cambridges and the Sussexes. When William and Kate went to see Harry and Meghan after the birth of Archie, Jones made calls to a Mirror reporter and me to share an exclusive--the couple had just minutes ago stopped by for a special visit. 'It's a great story that shows that the the relationship isn't as bad as everyone makes out,' he said. 'It was really sweet.' What he failed to mention, as I later found out from Sussex sources, was that the couple's lukewarm drive-by lasted less than twenty minutes.

(Also, in what universe do the parents of a newborn baby want visitors and guests to stay for hours on end? Twenty minutes to check in on the new parents, deliver some food or a gift, and give the baby a cuddle sounds like an appropriate amount of time for visitors to be there.)

Scobie further goes on to describe how he thinks it’s hypocritical of William to be so manipulative and treacherous in how he uses the media to improve his reputation, particularly at Harry’s expense, because this is exactly what Charles and Camilla did to him and he had hated it. Scobie’s overall message seems to be that the more power William gets, the less “William” he is and the more “Palace” he becomes (similar to the argument he makes of Kate), and the more “Palace” he becomes, the more ruthless his communications team gets.

I mean, Scobie even goes so far as to say that William has gone so far into the Palace machinery that he's abandoned and discredited his mother in accordance with the preferred script:

The differences in the brothers' statements are stark. Both expressed understandable outrage over Bashir's duplicity and the BBC's moral and professional failures. But while Harry stopped to acknowledge and honor Diana's strengths, despite the whole faisco, William reinforced the counternarrative that his mother was paranoid at the time. While there is no duobt that William's rebuke came from a place of love, sources sexplained he was also keen to toe the company line without any concessions to what his mother said during the interview itself. To write his statement, William turned to a number of aides within the royal household, including former private secretary Simon Case, who had left a month earlier for his new role as cabinet secretary for then prime minister Boris Johnson. He embraced the institution's version that, because Diana was duped, the interview was null and void as a result--even if wha she said was completely in line with what she had previously expressed in Morton's book. By disparaging Bashir's trick and by extension the entire interview, William ended up discrediting a large part of his mother's own story. To make his points, he did not remind the public that his mother was candid and truthful, despite Bashir's dirty work, but, instead, maintaned the royal version that she was emotionally fragile and thus easily manipulated, and therefore her claims are not to be trusted.

Or maybe, Scobie, this is William’s own personal experience and recollection of his own mother. It’s well known that William had a very different relationship with Diana than Harry did, such that he already understood at the tender age of fourteen, just how complicated her life was and how complex a person was. And, t was recently revealed that William did actual work to understand who his mother actually was as a person, warts and all. He spoke with his family and with her friends and came to know Diana The Person, whereas Harry has only entrenched himself in his twelve-year-old “My mummy is better than yours” fantasy. 

Both versions of Diana – William’s reality that she was a complicated and complex person and Harry’s reality that she was a beloved idol – can be true. But to dismiss William’s truth as “Palace bullshit” because it doesn’t match the popular narrative as told by Harry is, frankly, poppycock.

Welp, that was a huge train derailment. Getting back to the point: Scobie doesn’t like Jones because of Jones’s relationship with Wootton and his readiness to speak William’s truth at Harry’s expense. (Which is also hypocritical because Scobie spends all of Endgame speaking Harry’s truth at William’s expense.) And Scobie thinks it is unethical for Jones to be openly friendly with Wootton.

But here’s the catch. When he was being interviewed for the job in 2019, Jones disclosed his friendship and working relationship to both Simon Case and William. Yet William still hired him anyway. And with that little nugget, it becomes very clear very quickly what one of Harry’s issues is: he’s butthurt he didn’t get to know of the pre-existing relationship between Jones and Wootton and wasn’t asked to weigh in on whether he should be hired.

Now, for Knauf. Well, I’ll let Scobie tell you himself how much he hates him.

Knauf continued to work in his role as chief executive of William and Kate's foundation for a few more months before stepping down to join the board of the foundation for William's Earthshot Prize. As a loyal aide, he stuck by William through it all, from helping brief the press long after his communications role ended, leading the bullying allegations against Meghan, and joining forces with the Mail in court. Unsurprisingly, a year later, King Charles included him on his list of those to receive the honorable title of lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order for his 'personal service to the monarchy.' Notably, this high honor is chosen by the royal family and not the government, and it was his pal the Prince of Wales who performed the investiture on May 10, 2023, at Windsor Castle. Knauf--a man who went above and beyond to protect the royal family's relationship with a British tabloid--emerged from this fiasco as a titled hero, the personification of duty above all. His dangerous dalliance with the media in the courtroom is all part of a job description you won't find on his LinkedIn profile and a soon-to-be forgotten footnote in a celebrated career.

Scobie’s angry that Knauf waded in on Meghan’s copyright lawsuit with the Daily Mail. After all, he didn’t have to come forward and there was no official request for his evidence or any palace evidence in her lawsuit. But he did, because “it was [William’s] opportunity to watch the institution strike back after Harry and Meghan went so public with private details about the Firm.”

So everything goes back to the all-powerful William and his newfound power to use the palace’s relationship with friendly press to suppress, control, and humiliate others.

Paradigm Shift. After the discussion on the royal rota, probably the most fascinating part of Scobie’s criticism of the media is something he glosses over: the paradigm shift as a result of the information revolution that changed palace strategies with public relations and communications. In the span of about 50 years, the BRF went from one centralized Palace staff to three companies of Palace staff. They went from one single royal brand using ten newspapers to nine competing royal brands using national newspapers, foreign publications, digital media, and special interest groups and two ghosts (Diana and The Queen) whose legacies shape the 21st century.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read that book than 300+ pages of background for Harry’s lawsuits.

Rehabilitating Harry. Scobie reveals the plan for how to rehabilitate Harry if/when the time comes: it's Operation PB, Mark Bolland's creation to rehabilitate Camilla for the public to (eventually) accept her as Charles's Queen.

A parting gift for making it all the way through: my very favorite quote.

Just five years ago, the thought of the Windsors becoming equal citizens without privileged status seemed unreal to most, but now that future doesn't seem as far-fetched. Harry and Meghan have already fled to real life, and, by the looks of it, they're not hurting for either money or status.

You sure about that, Scobie? You sure that Harry and Meghan aren’t hurting of money or status? Harry just flew 20 hours round-trip for a 12-minute meeting with his father to make sure his inheritance was still solid after offending everyone and burning all the bridges.

[lemotmo]

Let's have a good day!

Q. Oh my god it was Ryan's idea! They're liking edits (which Tim has now also mentioned!) They're letting Ryan admit he's behind the mustache. The "insiders" real identity was discovered, as if we didn't all know. This is a good day so far. Thank god because it's way too quiet for a show that premieres in 3 weeks 😳

A. I love that it was Ryan's idea. I love it. He just walked in with it and shot his shot and they told him he could keep it. That's baller. I read that someone guessed that he probably did it to mess with Oliver, if Buddie is in fact a go, because Oliver said last season that when you close your eyes lips are lips. Given the nature of their relationship that's not that hard to believe, and it would be hilarious if that's why he did it. I know Ryan said he was looking like a true firefighter but it looks really gay. He pulls it off incredibly well but I don't think anyone's first thought when they saw it was 'oh my god he looks like such a manly firefighter'. I say that as a fan of the stache, lol. As far as the edits go Oliver and Ryan already admitted that they send things to one another so the both of them being demons is not a surprise. Jennifer reposting it at almost the same time however was a surprise, so I wonder if they were filming together last night or if Oliver or Ryan just sent it in the group chat and they all decided to post it together. Either way it was a nice little surprise. Tim telling people that the 3 of them sent it to him as well was hilarious.

The promo thing is now officially odd. The fact that we don't even have a trailer yet is bizarre. I was talking with a colleague this morning who is also a fan of the show, and we both kind of think something fairly significant must happen in the first 3 episodes and they're just being overly cautious about accidental spoilers. So even if we do get a trailer I wouldn't expect much actual content. They are keeping their cards very close right now. I also don't think the Family Feud episode is going to spoil anything. Although I am still curious to see what charity they're playing for because that could still be interesting. Whatever the reason for the secrecy though they don't seem to be worried about any lack of promos. So they must feel pretty confident that whatever they're hiding won't need a ton of promotion to gain traction. There are very few things I can think of that they wouldn't need to help promote, lol. I guess we shall see.

Lastly absolutely no one should be surprised to find out who their 'insider' really was. We all knew it was nonsense. Tired, boring, completely predictable, and easily disproven nonsense. *Sigh*

Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated.

I agree with this. Ali and I talked a little about this topic earlier and yeah, they are keeping such a close lid on everything that they have to be sitting on something major. And that something major doesn't need any extra promotion, like Ali said.

I'm so curious what they have in store for us. I expect a trailer that will tell us exactly nothing. 😂

As for the moustache? Not going to lie. I hope he keeps it for the entire season. The man looks so good with it.🥸

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[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Your thoughts on this? Anti maikos seem so convinced lol

"He vallues his sense of honor/morals/what's right over his relationship with Mai" HOW IS THAT BAD????????? Uncle Iroh gave Zuko the cold shoulder after the Ba Sing Se fiasco, does that mean he does not love Zuko? To properly show you love someone you can't have a mind and voice of your own?

This person is either 13-years-old or the kind that doesn't understand not every romance in fiction needs to be "I'll give up on literally EVERYTHING ELSE just for you" - hell, I like that kind of romance a lot, but not all love stories need to be that.

That's part of what makes Maiko feel more realistic as a romance to me. Zuko was banished and had to see a different side of the world, Mai wasn't. Zuko is a person that naturally NEEDS to speak, or shout, his mind, while Mai was taught to basically blend into the background.

Of course they're gonna have disagreements. Of course they won't always be on the same page. Of course their idea of what their relationship and life, both as couple and individuals, should be like.

That doesn't mean they can't find a middle ground, or realize the other was right, or go "I have no fucking clue why this means so much to you, but I love you and trust your judgement."

Zuko and Mai had a ton of issues, but they worked through them - that's a far more solid foundation for a relationship, both IRL and in fiction, than one that is based purely on infactuation and never has to be tested.

As for the "he broke up with her over-text" come on, he had good reason. Mai had never given any indication that she wanted to change sides and was friends with Azula. If Zuko broke up with her in person she could have done something to try and stop him. He couldn't aford that - there's a reason he only confronted Ozai at the last second, with the fucker unable to firebend.

And for him "never sparing a thought for her" - we see the flashbacks of Zuko alone that clearly foreshadow their romance. It was HIS memories. He had not seen her in at least 3 whole years yet the time his sister pulled a prank on them both to embarass Mai for having a crush on him still stuck. He also brought her up when talking to Sokka, when he didn't know he was about to see her again.

Zuko didn't bring up Aang basically offering to be his friends in book 1 for the longest time, yet he still clearly remembered it. He did not bring up Azula until the season 1 finale, but he clearly remembered he had a sister. He never explicitly talked about his mother to ANYONE until the day of the eclipse, and we only see her in two episodes, and once again none of it was in book 1, but he still clearly loved her.

The characters don't need to bring up everything that is important to them in every single episode to show that they care because good stories tend to assume the audience doesn't have amnesia.