#so it's high stake customer service

[dorkylittleweirdo]

Getting turned down from a job like um excuse you who else are you gonna find who's gonna work in hazardous conditions at disgusting hours for minimum wage and zero benefits when they could work at McDonald's at reasonable hours for more money and less damage to their mental health

[mostlysignssomeportents]

“Humans in the loop” must detect the hardest-to-spot errors, at superhuman speed

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

If AI has a future (a big if), it will have to be economically viable. An industry can't spend 1,700% more on Nvidia chips than it earns indefinitely – not even with Nvidia being a principle investor in its largest customers:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39883571

A company that pays 0.36-1 cents/query for electricity and (scarce, fresh) water can't indefinitely give those queries away by the millions to people who are expected to revise those queries dozens of times before eliciting the perfect botshit rendition of "instructions for removing a grilled cheese sandwich from a VCR in the style of the King James Bible":

https://www.semianalysis.com/p/the-inference-cost-of-search-disruption

Eventually, the industry will have to uncover some mix of applications that will cover its operating costs, if only to keep the lights on in the face of investor disillusionment (this isn't optional – investor disillusionment is an inevitable part of every bubble).

Now, there are lots of low-stakes applications for AI that can run just fine on the current AI technology, despite its many – and seemingly inescapable - errors ("hallucinations"). People who use AI to generate illustrations of their D&D characters engaged in epic adventures from their previous gaming session don't care about the odd extra finger. If the chatbot powering a tourist's automatic text-to-translation-to-speech phone tool gets a few words wrong, it's still much better than the alternative of speaking slowly and loudly in your own language while making emphatic hand-gestures.

There are lots of these applications, and many of the people who benefit from them would doubtless pay something for them. The problem – from an AI company's perspective – is that these aren't just low-stakes, they're also low-value. Their users would pay something for them, but not very much.

For AI to keep its servers on through the coming trough of disillusionment, it will have to locate high-value applications, too. Economically speaking, the function of low-value applications is to soak up excess capacity and produce value at the margins after the high-value applications pay the bills. Low-value applications are a side-dish, like the coach seats on an airplane whose total operating expenses are paid by the business class passengers up front. Without the principle income from high-value applications, the servers shut down, and the low-value applications disappear:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

Now, there are lots of high-value applications the AI industry has identified for its products. Broadly speaking, these high-value applications share the same problem: they are all high-stakes, which means they are very sensitive to errors. Mistakes made by apps that produce code, drive cars, or identify cancerous masses on chest X-rays are extremely consequential.

Some businesses may be insensitive to those consequences. Air Canada replaced its human customer service staff with chatbots that just lied to passengers, stealing hundreds of dollars from them in the process. But the process for getting your money back after you are defrauded by Air Canada's chatbot is so onerous that only one passenger has bothered to go through it, spending ten weeks exhausting all of Air Canada's internal review mechanisms before fighting his case for weeks more at the regulator:

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/air-canada-s-chatbot-gave-a-b-c-man-the-wrong-information-now-the-airline-has-to-pay-for-the-mistake-1.6769454

There's never just one ant. If this guy was defrauded by an AC chatbot, so were hundreds or thousands of other fliers. Air Canada doesn't have to pay them back. Air Canada is tacitly asserting that, as the country's flagship carrier and near-monopolist, it is too big to fail and too big to jail, which means it's too big to care.

Air Canada shows that for some business customers, AI doesn't need to be able to do a worker's job in order to be a smart purchase: a chatbot can replace a worker, fail to their worker's job, and still save the company money on balance.

I can't predict whether the world's sociopathic monopolists are numerous and powerful enough to keep the lights on for AI companies through leases for automation systems that let them commit consequence-free free fraud by replacing workers with chatbots that serve as moral crumple-zones for furious customers:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563219304029

But even stipulating that this is sufficient, it's intrinsically unstable. Anything that can't go on forever eventually stops, and the mass replacement of humans with high-speed fraud software seems likely to stoke the already blazing furnace of modern antitrust:

https://www.eff.org/de/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

Of course, the AI companies have their own answer to this conundrum. A high-stakes/high-value customer can still fire workers and replace them with AI – they just need to hire fewer, cheaper workers to supervise the AI and monitor it for "hallucinations." This is called the "human in the loop" solution.

The human in the loop story has some glaring holes. From a worker's perspective, serving as the human in the loop in a scheme that cuts wage bills through AI is a nightmare – the worst possible kind of automation.

Let's pause for a little detour through automation theory here. Automation can augment a worker. We can call this a "centaur" – the worker offloads a repetitive task, or one that requires a high degree of vigilance, or (worst of all) both. They're a human head on a robot body (hence "centaur"). Think of the sensor/vision system in your car that beeps if you activate your turn-signal while a car is in your blind spot. You're in charge, but you're getting a second opinion from the robot.

Likewise, consider an AI tool that double-checks a radiologist's diagnosis of your chest X-ray and suggests a second look when its assessment doesn't match the radiologist's. Again, the human is in charge, but the robot is serving as a backstop and helpmeet, using its inexhaustible robotic vigilance to augment human skill.

That's centaurs. They're the good automation. Then there's the bad automation: the reverse-centaur, when the human is used to augment the robot.

Amazon warehouse pickers stand in one place while robotic shelving units trundle up to them at speed; then, the haptic bracelets shackled around their wrists buzz at them, directing them pick up specific items and move them to a basket, while a third automation system penalizes them for taking toilet breaks or even just walking around and shaking out their limbs to avoid a repetitive strain injury. This is a robotic head using a human body – and destroying it in the process.

An AI-assisted radiologist processes fewer chest X-rays every day, costing their employer more, on top of the cost of the AI. That's not what AI companies are selling. They're offering hospitals the power to create reverse centaurs: radiologist-assisted AIs. That's what "human in the loop" means.

This is a problem for workers, but it's also a problem for their bosses (assuming those bosses actually care about correcting AI hallucinations, rather than providing a figleaf that lets them commit fraud or kill people and shift the blame to an unpunishable AI).

Humans are good at a lot of things, but they're not good at eternal, perfect vigilance. Writing code is hard, but performing code-review (where you check someone else's code for errors) is much harder – and it gets even harder if the code you're reviewing is usually fine, because this requires that you maintain your vigilance for something that only occurs at rare and unpredictable intervals:

https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773779967521780169

But for a coding shop to make the cost of an AI pencil out, the human in the loop needs to be able to process a lot of AI-generated code. Replacing a human with an AI doesn't produce any savings if you need to hire two more humans to take turns doing close reads of the AI's code.

This is the fatal flaw in robo-taxi schemes. The "human in the loop" who is supposed to keep the murderbot from smashing into other cars, steering into oncoming traffic, or running down pedestrians isn't a driver, they're a driving instructor. This is a much harder job than being a driver, even when the student driver you're monitoring is a human, making human mistakes at human speed. It's even harder when the student driver is a robot, making errors at computer speed:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/01/human-in-the-loop/#monkey-in-the-middle

This is why the doomed robo-taxi company Cruise had to deploy 1.5 skilled, high-paid human monitors to oversee each of its murderbots, while traditional taxis operate at a fraction of the cost with a single, precaratized, low-paid human driver:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

The vigilance problem is pretty fatal for the human-in-the-loop gambit, but there's another problem that is, if anything, even more fatal: the kinds of errors that AIs make.

Foundationally, AI is applied statistics. An AI company trains its AI by feeding it a lot of data about the real world. The program processes this data, looking for statistical correlations in that data, and makes a model of the world based on those correlations. A chatbot is a next-word-guessing program, and an AI "art" generator is a next-pixel-guessing program. They're drawing on billions of documents to find the most statistically likely way of finishing a sentence or a line of pixels in a bitmap:

https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922

This means that AI doesn't just make errors – it makes subtle errors, the kinds of errors that are the hardest for a human in the loop to spot, because they are the most statistically probable ways of being wrong. Sure, we notice the gross errors in AI output, like confidently claiming that a living human is dead:

https://www.tomsguide.com/opinion/according-to-chatgpt-im-dead

But the most common errors that AIs make are the ones we don't notice, because they're perfectly camouflaged as the truth. Think of the recurring AI programming error that inserts a call to a nonexistent library called "huggingface-cli," which is what the library would be called if developers reliably followed naming conventions. But due to a human inconsistency, the real library has a slightly different name. The fact that AIs repeatedly inserted references to the nonexistent library opened up a vulnerability – a security researcher created a (inert) malicious library with that name and tricked numerous companies into compiling it into their code because their human reviewers missed the chatbot's (statistically indistinguishable from the the truth) lie:

https://www.theregister.com/2024/03/28/ai_bots_hallucinate_software_packages/

For a driving instructor or a code reviewer overseeing a human subject, the majority of errors are comparatively easy to spot, because they're the kinds of errors that lead to inconsistent library naming – places where a human behaved erratically or irregularly. But when reality is irregular or erratic, the AI will make errors by presuming that things are statistically normal.

These are the hardest kinds of errors to spot. They couldn't be harder for a human to detect if they were specifically designed to go undetected. The human in the loop isn't just being asked to spot mistakes – they're being actively deceived. The AI isn't merely wrong, it's constructing a subtle "what's wrong with this picture"-style puzzle. Not just one such puzzle, either: millions of them, at speed, which must be solved by the human in the loop, who must remain perfectly vigilant for things that are, by definition, almost totally unnoticeable.

This is a special new torment for reverse centaurs – and a significant problem for AI companies hoping to accumulate and keep enough high-value, high-stakes customers on their books to weather the coming trough of disillusionment.

This is pretty grim, but it gets grimmer. AI companies have argued that they have a third line of business, a way to make money for their customers beyond automation's gifts to their payrolls: they claim that they can perform difficult scientific tasks at superhuman speed, producing billion-dollar insights (new materials, new drugs, new proteins) at unimaginable speed.

However, these claims – credulously amplified by the non-technical press – keep on shattering when they are tested by experts who understand the esoteric domains in which AI is said to have an unbeatable advantage. For example, Google claimed that its Deepmind AI had discovered "millions of new materials," "equivalent to nearly 800 years’ worth of knowledge," constituting "an order-of-magnitude expansion in stable materials known to humanity":

https://deepmind.google/discover/blog/millions-of-new-materials-discovered-with-deep-learning/

It was a hoax. When independent material scientists reviewed representative samples of these "new materials," they concluded that "no new materials have been discovered" and that not one of these materials was "credible, useful and novel":

https://www.404media.co/google-says-it-discovered-millions-of-new-materials-with-ai-human-researchers/

As Brian Merchant writes, AI claims are eerily similar to "smoke and mirrors" – the dazzling reality-distortion field thrown up by 17th century magic lantern technology, which millions of people ascribed wild capabilities to, thanks to the outlandish claims of the technology's promoters:

https://www.bloodinthemachine.com/p/ai-really-is-smoke-and-mirrors

The fact that we have a four-hundred-year-old name for this phenomenon, and yet we're still falling prey to it is frankly a little depressing. And, unlucky for us, it turns out that AI therapybots can't help us with this – rather, they're apt to literally convince us to kill ourselves:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkadgm/man-dies-by-suicide-after-talking-with-ai-chatbot-widow-says

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[iannmin]

3:32 am

Pairing: Idol! San x Idol! Reader

Synopsis: being an idol isn’t easy, in fact, especially more so for the both of you when a late-night snack is in need

I slipped into the convenience store just before 4 a.m., the familiar chime of the doorbell announcing my arrival. The cool air conditioning and the low hum of the fluorescent lights create a soothing backdrop to our nightly escapade. I scan the aisles and spot San, who is already here, attempting to blend in. With his black beanie pulled low and his long black-leathered coat enveloping him like a cloak of invisibility, he resembles a character from a low-budget spy movie.

“Hey,” I whisper as I approach. His dimpled smile is both mischievous and reassuring, making me laugh despite the hour.

“Hey,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. He gestures toward the snack aisle with a grand, exaggerated sweep of his hand, as if unveiling a hidden treasure chest. “Shall we?”

We venture down the aisles together, picking out snacks with the seriousness of treasure hunters. Every so often, we exchange furtive glances and duck into aisles when another customer appears. Our attempts at subtlety are anything but smooth. When a middle-aged man with a shopping basket full of milk and bread turns the corner, we both instinctively dive into the nearest aisle, nearly knocking over a display of instant noodles. I stifle a giggle as San huddles behind a tower of canned beans, peeking out with exaggerated caution. “Is it safe?” I whisper dramatically.

San squints towards the aisle. “I think so. But we should probably avoid the deli section. It’s too risky.”

We continue our mission, occasionally bumping into each other as we reach for the same snack. Each accidental brush of our hands sends a spark of excitement through me, but also a jolt of panic when we hear a distant rustling. We exchange alarmed glances and quickly retreat to the candy aisle, where we hide behind a display of chocolate bars.

“Mission impossible,” I whisper, “but with better snacks.”

San bursts into a fit of suppressed laughter, nearly toppling over a stack of gum. “Exactly. We’ll be legends in the convenience store underworld.”

As we edge closer to the checkout, the store remains nearly empty, save for a lone cashier engrossed in a book, apparently oblivious to our stealthy maneuvers. We take our place in line, trying to look as casual as possible while simultaneously checking for any signs of recognition.

San places our items on the counter with a flourish, his dramatic movements contrasting sharply with the cashier’s sleepy indifference. As the cashier rings up our snacks, San leans in and whispers, “Do you think anyone’s ever noticed us?” I shake my head, trying not to laugh. “Doubtful. We’re just two ordinary snack enthusiasts trying not to look suspicious.”

The cashier finishes bagging our items, and San takes the bags with a theatrical bow, his tone rising to a mock-heroic level. “Thank you, kind sir,” he says. “Your service has been invaluable. We shall speak of this night in hushed tones.”

We hustle out to the parking lot, glancing around with exaggerated caution as if we’re in a high-stakes spy film. The cool night air is a welcome relief from the store’s chill. As we walk briskly to the car, we both burst into laughter, unable to contain the amusement of our covert operation.

Once we’re in the car and the bags of snacks are stowed, San starts the engine. The drive to our next destination is filled with easy banter and shared laughter. We talk about everything from the questionable taste of some of our snack choices to hypothetical scenarios where we become snack connoisseurs for a living.

By the time we reach our destination, I’m laughing so hard I nearly forget why we’re here. The thrill of our secret outings, combined with the comedic antics of our attempts to avoid detection, make these moments feel magical. It’s a reminder that even in the smallest, most mundane situations, there’s a special joy to be found.

[metalomagnetic]

What kind of ✨ toys ✨ would your Voldemort’s partners bring in the bedroom, and what are his reactions?

Ok, so I spent way too long thinking about this.

Bella from Beauty and the Beast sometimes brings rope. Bella from Stop all the Clocks, brings Rodolphus (the world's best service top) 😂 Voldemort is highly receptive in both scenarios.

Tom from Ouroboros doesn't as much as bring a toy, but he transforms the world around them into a toy. I think he likes playing hunter/prey games, with high stakes, chasing each other through some super cursed ruins somewhere. Voldemort thinks this is very childish, but he indulges Tom, and always enjoys a good hunt, especially when his hunter/prey is someone as intelligent and creative as...well, him.

Harry brings himself. He is the toy. He enjoys being at Voldemort's complete mercy. Voldemort will never tire of this, having the bane of his existence submit to him.

Albus brings a chess game. Look, I know that is not technically a sex toy, but they are huge nerds, ok? The games are spectacular, and it stimulates their minds, so they are all hot and bothered by the time it's time for bed. Voldemort is especially bothered if Albus wins the game (and he almost always does). Also, I feel Albus would wear some really colourful lingerie under his robes. Maybe some stockings, too (especially for Lesser Evil Voldemort). Voldemort is 10000% obsessed with Albus (in Meta and in Lesser) so he's up for everything his redheaded man wants. Fawkes wishes he would be blind, and has taken to flying far, far away as soon as the door to the bedroom closes for the day.

Abraxas brings a cock cage. A very expensive, custom made one ( what do you mean he bought it from the filthy muggles? Keep that slander to yourself! Abraxas would never! He *totally* found a wizard that makes sex toys, somewhere in the otherwise very puritanical wizarding world). It has precious gems, and it's made of gold and everything. He thinks he's going to convince/bribe/beg Tom into wearing it. Tom does, and they have sex, and then he puts it on Abraxas, curses it so only Tom can open it, and sends him home to his big Manor and his wife. Good luck trying to explain to your father why you can't get your wife pregnant, Abraxas!

Gellert and Voldemort are into some really crazy stuff. I won't even mention it. Dark artefacts that should most definitely not be used for sex find their way into their bed. Insane spells and potions and whispered plans for world domination.

Sirius brings a leash, of course. It isn't entirely clear who will wear it. Voldemort would accept pretty much anything, because if they're having sex, then that means Sirius can't leave, can he now?

(Sirius from White Bishop will eventually bring some handcuffs, and they both have belts on them at all times, so they're going to be quite busy.)

[dinitride-art]

Au fics that i think are neat and that i want to compile into a list because im trying to figure out how to comment on a chapter of a fic but i need time to sort out my thoughts (usually for fic recs i try to rec fics with less kudos/engagement because reasons but im just gonna throw everything in this list. probably multiple fics by the same author in the same universe because thats the one im trying to sort out my thoughts on.)

the strawberries are dying by eggowlss - historical fiction and very interesting character relationships and also character exploration within the time period. I really like this one because the pacing and tone are very gentle. There’s a srt of ebb and flow to the story that makes both the time period and the characters really fit into it. idk how to describe it i just like it a lot.

in the quiet of the night (acswy ao3 series) - they’re putting those characters in situations. It’s a very good time. 10/10 do recommend. If you haven't heard of this one though, it’s basically a modern au where everyone works at a summer camp and Mike and Will cause problems for themselves, each other, and usually everyone else around them. 

si vis amari, ama by perexcri - demons and angels and heaven and hell and its honestly just one hell of a story. like ive got vivid images in my head of scenes i imagined when reading this. 

you start to kiss (and the record skips) by eclipseadventure - this is a band au with a side of a secret relationship and im a sucker for secret relationships. a bit of drama/high stakes in here too which is always pretty fun. 

End Racism on the OTW! - you and me and the horrible teenaged ghost who keeps eviscerating himself in our apartment makes three by TheWrongKindOfPC - i am also a sucker for buzzfeed unsolved aus. buzzfeed unsolved, hauntings, ghosts, yknow the fun stuff. 

into the daylight by andiwriteordie - THIS IS NOT THE FIRST ONE, it’s just the first one that came up in my bookmarks. anyways, this is the second fic in a fantasy au series. The worldbuilding is really cool and there’s magic and history and politics and i like it a lot. the most recent chapter is spinning around in my mind.

the heartbreak prince by andiwriteordie - THIS IS THE FIRST ONE. 

beneath these boughs, my devotion blooms by perexcri - this is the fic that nearly killed me. i literally cant summarize it because im still recovering from what happened to me when i read it. Did i read it in april? Maybe. Listen, it had me asking questions about things i had never considered before. its 11k but im pretty sure it took me a good few hours to read because it made me think about it so much. again, ive got a bunch of visuals running through my head. its just... so much.

sweetheart, you're so cruel by perexcri - Mike’s in a band, Will’s a music snob, they’re both contemplating their life choices. very fun, very interesting, also made me think about some things. 

keep it hush by wiseatom - theres an amusement park and the horrors of customer service. and some other stuff but basically its pretty bright (the visuals of the fic in my head are bright- like sun glinting off metal- and idk how else to describe it)

the start of an age by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - this ones funny and serious at times and its got Max in it. fantasy au with prince will and knight mike and a secret relationship and a small scheme between three parties that involves a fake (ish) marriage. 

superhero therapy by silverluminoqity - spiderman au with a side of trauma and healing? it’s complicated theres stuff happening, i had a good time reading it. 

you've got this spell on me by andiwriteordie - this one was really fun. basically its a fantasy au theres magic and mike gets himself hit with a spell that makes him fall in love with will and will freaks out about it for a while.

Daydream by disaster_energy - i really really liked this fic. its a fantasy au and its got gods and stuff and will gets chosen by the moon goddess because hes Will and everyone is like... woah.

takes one to know one by andiwriteordie - i also liked this one a lot, its a superhero au and its got ironic (like... dramatic irony- i think is what im talking about? maybe? but like fun irony) secret identities. 

Love goes 'round by evil_ontheinside - conversations in a laundry mat. mikes flopping (as in, flopping around like a fish) around a bit and this was pretty cute. 

my promise could be your fiend (could be the smallest of signs) by s0ld_it - spider man au, theres a bookstore involved and a lot of stuff. ive read this fic twice and greatly enjoyed it both times. 

Tip-toeing on Lily-pads by cherryisgone - very very fun, fantasy au and... mike gets cursed to be a frog. can only be un-cursed with a kiss. 

filling in the blanks as we go by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - bookstore meetcute

there’s more but i spent all day painting my room and i am tired. Ive also got way too many bookmarks to go through and i have decided to stop here. still haven't figured out how to write that comment (but i am working on it because i love the fi(s) and ive been thinking about one specific thing that came up in a new chapter for so long). anyways, i hope someone enjoys this list of au fics from my bookmarks. 

[obstinaterixatrix]

Do u know any good mob psycho 100 fanfics?? Or authors??

well obviously my sister but I’m guessing you’re the same anon so 1) you already know her fics 2) you want different recs from what’s on her list (some of them being fics I rec’d to her lol). recs will skew heavily seri/rei and I’m just going through my bookmarks so it’s gonna be most recently read to oldest read. also seconding sister’s recs of bobmoss and crookedturtle. but I’ll add a fic from each anyway because I already wrote something for one while I was drafting this (oops)

Recollection by CowardlyBean

This is the journal of missing 31 year old Reigen Arataka, distributed with permission from friends and family. The version presented in this document has been kindly edited with added commentary by a loyal customer of his. -Editor’s Note

gen, experimental and in progress at 14k so definitely deserves more love than it’s getting. inspired by house of leaves; as the summary says, it’s some rando writing annotations about reigen’s journal, but Something Weird Is Going On. the 4th chapter updated so I actually need to catch up. also, sister rec’d this fic to me

Like Acid Reflux, or Love by partingxshot

Dating Reigen is like dating a single dad—only with more children, weirder scruples, and an extreme ruthlessness vis-à-vis group takoyaki discounts. He's not hot enough for this.

OR: "Me, You and Steve" by Garfunkel and Oates but with fifteen million teenagers.

OR: Outsider POV exploring Reigen’s dedication to his gaggle of bizarre children through an ill-fated dating attempt.

OR: Serizawa gets bruxism.

gen(/pre-relationship seri/rei), oneshot, 7k. oc/reigen breakup lmao. extremely funny concept, extremely good execution

Dream Dial by Alakazamboni

For the better part of nine years, Arataka has proudly worked in customer service at a behemoth of a company. At least, that's what he remembers, but a strange illness and a mysterious caller keeps trying to convince him otherwise. It doesn't help that this caller has the power to distort reality.

seri/rei, in progress, 16k. great uncanny atmosphere, and also reigen is trapped in time prison as a miserable office worker. hasn’t been updated for a while but read it anyway, the stoping point is fine

What We Make by crookedturtle

Reigen and Tome are kidnapped from the Spirits and Such office to be used as leverage against Mob. They have two goals: to contact the outside world, and keep each other safe. In doing so they engage in a dangerous game of lies and manipulation with their captors—a game with potentially deadly consequences.

gen (bg seri/rei), complete, 36k. Good for whump and high stakes interpersonal maneuvering & drama. I liked how the story extends beyond rescue and goes into how everyone navigates the fallout

Man's Best Friend by bobmoss

A cursed dog gets left at Spirits and Such. Anyone who pets it is doomed to die a horrible death.

Reigen, of course, pets it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. funny and cute and sweet :) there’s a very charming tentative & tender vibe

heart line by ruthwrites

It doesn’t really matter, he reminds himself. He’s making a change, just like all of Reigen’s clients. What’s on his hands isn’t set in stone. He just has to make sure Reigen doesn’t see it— even if it might feel nice to have that steady attention, Reigen’s hands that are so much nicer than Serizawa’s folding around his.

(or: Reigen starts offering palm readings as a service, leading to Serizawa having to confront his feelings for his boss.)

seri/rei, oneshot, 6k. getting together fluff, a fun light read that also highlights serizawa’s insecurities—the internal narration has good character voice

If you won't believe me when I say it, believe me when I don't by deathdefied

Two years after Reigen invited Serizawa to work for him, he still can't quite categorize his feelings for his coworker. Instead of actually dealing with those feelings like an adult and talking to his friend, he decided to get really paranoid and overthink everything Serizawa does.

seri/rei, complete, 26k. reigen drives himself nuts lmao

Obvious by skeilig

Tome’s perspective on Reigen and Serizawa’s developing relationship.

gen (but about seri/rei), oneshot, 3k. I like outsider perspective getting together fics, especially when the perspective character is like ‘I’m actually not invested in this except when it affects me directly’

Cover Me by flecksofpoppy

Reigen’s shadow seems longer as the days move forward, more solitary. The cuts on his face heal and the ache in his bones go away, but a new sting replaces it. It’s loneliness, the thing he had managed to avoid ever since a primary school-aged kid who could make cups float stumbled into his office so many years ago.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. getting together fic that shows off a little of reigen’s gloomier side, it’s cute

loved you just a little too much by shcherbatskayas

You learn how to let go.

(It doesn't come naturally.)

gen(ish), oneshot, 2k. 2nd person character study of serizawa’s relationship with touichiro, I liked the ambivalence; effectively captures development over time with a relatively short wordcount.

offering genuine help with genuine results by suitablyskippy

“The curse was pretty clear on me not telling lies,” concedes Reigen. “It was pretty clear on me telling the truth. But,” as he lifts one finger, already sliding into the same educational tone he generally uses for imparting wisdom to Mob about life and love and the overall holistic benefits of making sure he’s always available for unexpected overtime work on weekends, “telling the truth isn’t necessarily the same as being honest, is it?”

“You’re the professional liar,” says Dimple. “You tell me.”

(Being cursed to only tell the truth and being cursed with Dimple as an employee are pretty much equally bad, as far as Reigen's stress levels are concerned.)

gen, oneshot, 2k. the tags include friends with no benefits whatsoever, which is very apt. Very funny to have reigen and dimple be petty and shady

a slightly more miraculous miracle by suitablyskippy

“Rumour has it that something impossible’s happened. Something that could never have happened. That shouldn’t have been able to happen.” In a single slick move Mezato produces a tiny voice recorder from an inside pocket, flips it open and active, and holds it up before Mob’s mouth to ask him, in a tone of devastating intensity: “Do you know anything about… a miracle, Mob-kun?”

Mob doesn’t hesitate. “We had maths homework to hand in,” he says. “But now we don’t have to. We don’t even have to go to the lesson.”

(The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Salt Middle School has been closed by an unexplained miracle, and the only thing wrong in Spice City is the fact that nothing is even slightly wrong at all.)

teru/mob, incomplete, 55k. for the most part I haven’t been repeating authors on this list, but listen. listen to me. I need you to listen. it is extremely unlikely for this fic to ever be completed. but hark, lest this sad probability turn you away and leave you dispassionately scrolling to the next fic, I need you (you specifically) to know that if I were in the same room as you, I would be wrestling the phone/mouse/trackpad/touchscreen/etc from your hands and furiously clicking the link. when I bookmarked this fic in 2017 I described it as having “some breathtakingly sensical prose and the funniest misunderstandings I’ve ever read”. trust me from seven years ago. open your heart.

skylight by inexhaustible

unconnected snapshots in what might, in some worlds, be something a little like recovery.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. character study that nails the tension of an escalating romantic atmosphere.

come on, come on, come over (take it off your shoulder) by mortarsmayfall

Reigen's free hand cradles Serizawa's head, curled under his ear just so to turn it for a better angle. He feels his pulse pound under Reigen's fingers, shivers just the slightest bit. If Reigen notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. when I first read this I saved it as a private bookmark because I was so embarrassed by the sheer intimacy of haircuts with severely unresolved sexual tension. I’m guessing this was written after studio bones gave us reigen cutting serizawa’s hair. crumbs no more; for once we had a feast to enjoy. short & sweet getting together fic

Off-White by reigreitz

Some habits are tells.

seri/rei, oneshot, 1k. snapshots of pre-relationship and established relationship scenes, I’m quite fond of it. on my first reading I’m pretty sure I remember not paying attention to the habit piece at all (even with it being right in the summary) so at the last scene I was hit by the double whammy of ‘oh so that was what serizawa was reacting to’ and ‘AW… THAT’S SWEET…’; I think the fic does a great job of hiding/not acknowledging certain things the perspective character knows and is reacting to, which makes it fun to reread and pinpoint what exactly serizawa’s previously more opaque train of thought was. like, it’s the same stuff, but you get to read into more nuance.

the seven stages of falling in love by reigen arataka by matsunoble

You suppose one of the weirdest times to realize you've fallen deeply and irrevocably in love is when it's fuck o'clock in the morning and you're blearily checking your fridge for leftover curry.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. I was quite taken by the mundane (and sometimes unappealing) descriptions of love, and I like when serizawa has the upper hand

Mr. Psychic by beefstatic

Looks like trouble in Spice City...

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. Serizawa Acts Like An Intimidating Bodyguard During Tense/Shady Situations. fun emphasis on that potential aspect of his character, I like how it’s done.

Late by hamlingo

For the first few days after hiring Serizawa, Reigen couldn’t help but be alarmed when the door opened at eight o’clock sharp in the mornings. He got used to it eventually, and in a month’s time he was more surprised when the door didn’t creak open right on time.

This was one of those mornings.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. this is actually among the first seri/rei fics I bookmarked so I can say with relative certainty that on may 20th 2017 I decided that maybe seri/rei was not just a joke of me indulging my own spurious unreasonable whims. fun character study and has that enjoyable tension of pleasant pre-relationship uncertainty.

Quiet Talks by krypkaktus

At some point, Reigen cutting his hair twice a month had turned into a mutual habit.

seri/rei, oneshot, 600 words. another charming snapshot of pre-relationship uncertainty, pleasantly embarrassing unresolved romantic tension.

walk in by ruthwrites

It was then he realized that the reason Reigen and Serizawa were standing so close was because they were kissing.

Mob was not really sure what to do with that information.

(or: mob leaves something at the office, comes back, and walks into something he wasn't supposed to)

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. an extremely popular fic for extremely valid reasons, this is a shining example of the outsider POV shipfic where the perspective character is like. I’m 14 and did not want to see you guys kissing. and the couple is like. we also did not want you to see us kissing, this is excruciatingly awkward.

tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy

It’s like Reigen’s been waiting for the question. He stops dead on the pavement, grips Mob by the shoulders, and stares down into his eyes with an expression as haunted as though every ghost the pair of them has ever exorcised has taken up residence behind it. “Mob,” he says. “Mob,” he says again. “Tell me, Mob. Look at me and tell me. Tell me truthfully. Do I look cursed to you?”

Mob looks at him, and tells him truthfully. “No.”

“Well, you didn’t look very long,” says Reigen. “Let’s just stand here for a moment, like so, and you can have another look, a nice long look, and really think about it...”

(There's nothing strange about being called back to exorcise the same haunted photocopier six days in a row. It must just be a very haunted photocopier.)

gen, oneshot, 18k. I didn’t mean to rec the same author three (3) times but this is also one of my top faves. extremely funny time prison where nobody is on the same page ever.

space voyage by Anonymous

Tome Kurata is slightly famous—or notorious, more like—for being... a weirdo, to put it simply. She's definitely a person of interest. Just not exactly in a newsworthy way, which is obviously the only way that matters.

mezato/tome, oneshot, 1k. charming pre-relationship contention, they’re the same type of self-absorbed and tunnel vision (affectionate)

I was thinking of not writing up recs for sister’s fics but since one author got three (3) fics on the list I’m gonna also put 3 of my fave fics of sister’s

Reigen's Comprehensive Fool-Proof Guide on How Not To Be Next Door Neighbors With Your Employee (because that'd just be creepy) by MalkyTop

Reigen hires Serizawa and they somehow end up as roommates.

seri/rei, complete, 17k. a fic sister wrote for ✨ME✨ that shows off reigen’s neuroticism and his decidedly not-normal attempts to come across as Extremely Normal, The Most Normal Man Alive. there are so many comedic setups and payoffs. there are so many shenanigans. reigen gets frog-boiled into romance. actually, I drop that term a lot but I’m not sure it’s a common enough to intuitively understand. it refers to the boiling frog metaphor

If At First You Don't Succeed, Find a Loophole by MalkyTop

Reigen keeps dying; Serizawa keeps trying to save him.

seri/rei, complete, 18k. sister was insane for this because she trapped all of her readers AND herself in time prison by releasing one chapter a day. it was really funny to witness because I was the only person not in time prison by virtue of editing privilege. while we were watching mondays: see you next week (an office time loop movie), sister was saying she was impressed at how effective/efficient the movie was at picking which scenes to repeat. this is to say, as someone who notices these details, sister was very intentional about when things changed and how things changed from the perspective of a character completely unaware of time prison. also, the emotional momentum is extremely good, I loved reading serizawa’s increasing desperation from reigen’s context-less perspective.

in absentia* by MalkyTop

After what was supposed to be a routine exorcism, Reigen wakes up in the wrong body.

serirei, complete, 26k. slowburn bodyswap with mystery and intrigue. a solid casefic! I can be biased and right. there are metanarrative elements that I find fun and that, in my opinion, highlights how sister did in fact get a degree in philosophy. there’s also some fun subtle and messy characterization notes, like when serizawa asks reigen not to cook for him. it’s hard to talk about what I like about this fic without giving away a lot of specifics, so go read it.

[paldeapokecafe]

Hello! Welcome to the Pokémon Café! Made for Pokémon, by Pokémon! I'm your hostess with the mostess, Leah! And this is my partner and manager: Eevee! Come on down to Los Platos for an unforgettable experience! Oh, I suppose I should introduce you to the rest of my staff as well:

Sprigatito is our main entrée specialist. She's an eager little learner when it comes to new recipes. She takes from her mom, Meowscarada, who also helps in the kitchen from time to time. Sprigatito's kneading is helpful in making jello and choux pastries, as well as helping strawberries grow in our garden.

Fidough's yeast may be indeed useful when it comes to our baked goods, but that doesn't stop him from being our best and main drinks specialist. He likes mixing drinks and playing with the bubbles they make, and he adores the honey our Ribombee makes. He's also very helpful when it comes to wrapping our to-go orders in parchment paper.

Tinkaton's our expert when it comes to small plates. Her huge hammer makes for an excellent press for our sandwiches, as well as a nutcracker. She loves candy, and cracking open jars full of it whenever she's not on the clock.

Ogerpon's the sweetest member on staff, which more than qualifies her to be our main sweets specialist. She's still getting used to customers, but once she learns to trust you, she'll warm up to you like you're her favorite person in the whole world.

Last, but not least, Koraidon's our main delivery driver. He'll deliver your order to you in thirty minutes or less, no matter where in Paldea you are! He loves being tipped in pets and treats. He also helps in the kitchen from time to time, loves making jello, and spreading mayonnaise and butter on sandwiches. He's learned to love making them almost as much as eating them.

So come on down! We'd love to have you!

Hey, everyone! It's the @segasister here, and I'm finally going in on the rotomblr scene! By the way, I decided to actually attempt to design a logo for rotomblr. Feel free to use it! (Disclaimer: All other art on this blog, unless stated otherwise, will be official Pokémon Café ReMix artwork.)

Anyway, ground rules!

Author is an adult, as is the character. However, please don't send anything NSFW (no sex or gore) here. Thank you.

The events of Pokémon Scarlet and Violet are canon to this blog. This is set years after those events. Juliana is the canon PC and would also be an employee here (and perhaps the owner?). That doesn't mean that Florian does not exist here.

Continuing from point #2: it’s only Pokémon Scarlet’s events that are canon to this blog.

Leah is a rather flat character, since in Pokémon Café ReMix, she's mainly just there to provide tutorials when you first open the game, and introduce events that happen therein. This means that I will be providing a bit of depth to her character, so you might find what she's like after she's unscrewed her customer service smile and turned off that voice.

No high stakes for this blog, unless you have a big order lol

That's all I can think of for now! Enjoy your stay!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

missed opportunities

This isn’t meant to be a summary or a translation of the Sunset Savanna event!! I just wanted to share my thoughts surrounding the actual tournament and the characters involved in the overall story.

I felt like??? This event was originally meant to be much bigger and much more elaborate than what we got. Is that just me?? Don’t get me wrong, what we ended up with was… okay. It was serviceable. It worked. I just feel like it could have easily been more, but there had to be significant downsizing for some reason.

One thing that kind of confused me was the hyping up of the Catch the Tail tournament versus what we actually got?? (Loved the tourism part though, hearing about local foods, stories, and customs is fun!) I understand the cultural significance of the game, but a tournament arc doesn't work that well if we're only invested in one side; obviously, we'll be rooting for NRC to win because we know them the best and have spent the most time with them, but... They have no significant rival or opposition to go against (which is at least one thing episode 5 had going for it in the form of Vil vs Neige, and even in the Harveston event when the Seven Dwarves reappear). We don't even really have names or faces to think of as their foes. We aren't really given the chance to cheer for anyone else. Like???? NRC's first opponents get no artwork at all, and then we slip through ALL the other matches to the very end. Their last opponents are supposedly Cheka's usual trio of guards--except they're just beastmen mobs A, B, and C. What happened to the lore about "most of the important roles being fulfilled by female warriors"?? You really going to sit here and tell me that the people assigned to guard the person who is essentially the future of your country aren't roles traditionally fulfilled by strong lionesses? All three of the roles just happened be occupied by easily reused male assets? Even the replacement/temporary guards assigned to Cheka were women, and the way the originals were foreshadowed made it seem like they would later be a big deal or the "rivals" NRC had to overcome in their final matchup. They technically were, but they were just your typical run-of-the-mill mobs. (And what a waste, because they comment in the game that the leader of the guards is a HYENA. You could have easily made these three mobs twisted Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed.) They have some investment, being that Kifaji trained them and they are bitter about having won previous years but Leona stood them up for training. It’s basically one big ploy to circumvent Leona not wanting to give the warrior lessons to the winning team, a way to counteract his laziness. It makes sense for the story, but it isn’t very high-stakes.

The first team NRC fought against was even more unremarkable; they cheated just as much as NRC did and didn't even compensate for it with at least recognizable artwork or personalities. In fact, they got NO art at all. If anything, this team should have been the run-of-the-mill mobs from how generically mean they were.

It feels like this event had a handful of red herrings and cheeky lines thrown in to tease at the reveal of significant new characters, only to never follow through on them. I like Kifaji, and it's reasonable that Leona says tourists like the NRC kids can't possibly meet the head of state (Farena/Falena). However, I don't like that a lot surrounding Cheka's guards amounted to nothing?? They even mention they have a member to substitute in that's a retired imperial guard, but that ends up being of no real importance either… (he throws the match because Kalim showed him great kindness earlier by buying him a bus when his original breaks down.) It’s more like a convenience that lets Leona swap in and cinch the win for NRC even though he’s not able to formally compete). It's in-character for Leona to play dirty but it’s still so... anticlimactic????? Especially since the competition is supposedly for the best warriors to prove their wits and might.

Another missed opportunity is that??? The competition is supposedly open to anyone, even those from outside the Sunset Savanna. That may very well be just a writing loophole for Leona to easily shoehorn Kalim/Jack, Vil, and Lilia in as competitors, but there's so much more you could do with that idea!

Maybe there are other outsiders come to fight for the title. Maybe Rook shows up as a competitor to spook them if the devs don't want to design that many actual "rivals" with unique designs or new faces. Maybe there are your "non-traditional" fighters as well, people that are very young (just for the lols, imagine a kid Cheka's size kicking butt, using their small size and speed to their advantage) or very old (Rafiki weaponizing his wisdom and experience in combat, idk) but are still skilled enough in their own right to participate. Maybe show us more types of beastmen and how they use their specific animal’s physical traits to their advantage! I don't know how likely it is for merfolk or fae to join (since those races seem like recluses compared to beastmen and humans and merpeople don't do well in arid climates), but it would have been cool to see others throw their hats into the ring!

There were probably just limitations in place due to this being a hometown event…? It wouldn't be fair for the others to only feature one new character while this one features a TON of them, nor would it be fair for this hometown even to be significantly longer or more detailed than the others. Basically only the Halloween events are super extensive. In which case, I get it. I still would have really liked to see this concept more fleshed out and fully realized though!

[albatmobile]

Head empty just Roy and jason being submissive while high with reader ehueheuhe

(Ignore this if you want)

definitely more of this prompt to come in the next chapter!

romance and return policies

next: [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] || ao3

𓅪 Rated: M | TW: weed | 1.7k includes: alternate universe no powers, modern au, eventual polyamory, eventual relationships, eventual smut, gamestop au

𓅪 established roy harper x koriand'r eventual: jason todd x reader, Roy Harper x reader, koriand'r x reader endgame: Jason Todd x reader x Roy Harper x koriand'r

It's not your fault you always want the latest games, exclusives and merch for the fandoms you're in. 

In your old town, certain GameStop’s had even banned you from trading due to how much you were in there, something you’d never understand. Other stores sneered at you for always buying up the good shit before the employees even had the chance to stake their claim on it.

Since moving nearly across the country, the new GameStop you’ve started going to definitely seems to be the most chill of the bunch. It's in a small, podunk town in Arizona, which means you never have to beat the lines like you had to in the hustle and bustle of the East Coast cities.

The town's big enough to stay somewhat anonymous but small enough that if you visit a place once a week, by week three, everyone will know your social security number. Needless to say, the GameStop workers know your car by now, as evidenced by the way Roy sees you pull in and attempts to snuff out whatever he’s been smoking.

You don't normally use their back parking lot, but the DMV next door is extra packed today and spilled over into the shared lot. You figure he’s been smoking a cigarette until you step out of your car and smell it.

“I’m telling,” is all you say. The redhead flips you off easily.

Roy has always been overly welcoming and easy to joke with right off the bat, something you sincerely appreciate considering you don’t know anyone here.

“At this point, you may as well fucking work here,” Roy says. “Honestly, your word would mean more than mine.” You laugh, knowing it’s probably the truth. You make gimmie hands, which he goes to oblige easily, then suddenly stops. He regards you silently for a moment before looking around, then up at the security camera that he was just out of view of before finally holding out the joint to you. Fucking paranoid stoners. “Didn’t take you for the smoking type, darlin’.” 

“Considering you don’t know me, that seems about right,” you say, causing him to laugh easily at your prickly humor. At this, you sidle up to him in the blind spot of the camera, blushing slightly when your fingers accidentally brush in the hand-off. “My ex was a huge stoner kinda formed a habit that I can’t even maintain.” 

“Money?” he winces only after the question comes out, seeming only then to realize it’s a bit of an invasive question for the circumstances. 

You’ve been coming to this GameStop at least twice a week, though almost always more, for the past few months since you moved to AZ. Whether it be to browse or trade- Roy, a redhead named Star and some brooding dick with a grey streak always seemed to be there (you’ve never seen him wear a name tag, but he seems to be the manager). Regardless, your relationship hardly seemed to go past customer service ever. That is, until now.

Roy doesn’t seem like the type to have a filter, so you know he means no offense. You can’t lie, though, seeing him all flustered is doing things to you.

You quickly snap yourself from your wandering thoughts. 

Roy has always been extra touchy-feely with the beautiful red-headed employee who always offers you kind smiles and excited opinions on your choices. This particular employee has a special affinity for plushies and always seems to push more on you. At this point, you could run a shelter for plushies with the way their cute dead eyes watched you from the growing pile on your bed. After all, who are you to tell this seven-foot-tall goddess no?

“No,” you chuckle lightly as you inhale. “I just never learned how to roll.” 

It's a lie. 

A total, complete lie, but you know one thing: men love to think they're teaching you something. Plus, if it means someone will roll you free weed, who are you to turn it down?

“Oh, babe. I’ve got you,” Roy’s silky voice stirs arousal within you as he pulls out the decrepit remains of a smartphone. Android or Apple, it’s too far gone to tell, but the screen still brightens when he bangs on the home button, so it can’t technically be considered completely trashed…

“Won’t your girlfriend be mad?” you ask, looking hesitantly at the sharded screen he’s pushing your way.

“Kori?” Roy gestures to the store behind the two of you before waving off your concern. “Nah, she’s chill.” 

Kori, huh? She always wears a name tag that says Star, but you should’ve known it was just a nickname.

With all the basement creeps that come in and try to hit on you while you're here, you can’t imagine Kori’s position. Hell, you didn’t want to wear your name tag at the diner half the time if it wasn’t for Pam forcing you to ‘play nice.’

You raise a dubious brow. “I think you misunderstand my question: is Kori single?” you ask cheekily.

He snorts easily, eyes crinkling around the scattered freckles on his face, “Fucking figures that I’d finally get your number and you’re more concerned with the redhead inside.” 

“Finally get it?”

The deep voice startles you as the ‘Employee Only’ door whips open to reveal skunkhead.

“Get what?” you ask with a tiny tilt of your head.

Name-tagless dude gestures down to Roy’s cracked screen. “We had a bet going on,” is all he says. 

“Yeah, man. I got the number, but she wants the other babe,” Roy laments. The sexy brooding skunk, fuck- you have to learn his actual name- laughs. “Also, stop spying on me during my break, fucking weirdo.”

“I’m your boss,” he says. To prove his point, the raven grabs the joint from your fingers and takes a long drag. Your eyes remain wide while his close into green slits, taking you in with the smoke, closing his eyes with the exhale. “How else would I know you’re corrupting our best customer?”

“Corrupting!” Roy exclaims, gesturing to you as his eyes rip open. You immediately hold your hands up in surrender. “She came up to me! You know how the ladies get with this hair, Jay.”

Your face wrinkles in obvious disgust. “Is it too late to delete my contact?”

Roy huffs and yanks the blunt from ‘Jay’ and shoos him, “Jay, you’re ruining my shot, man.”

“Yeah, me,” Jay says. The tall man rolls his eyes and motions you in before retreating back inside. “What do you want?”

This time, you don’t contain your eye roll as you attempt to catch up to his quick pace. “What happened to the monotonous ‘Welcome to GameStop’ I used to get?”

“You’ve got half of my employees stockpiling the good shit for you. That’s what happened,” he responds. The raven glances at you over his shoulder, his usual emotionless eyes glinting with the slightest bit of amusement.

You don’t bother with a response as you follow him out of the elusive breakroom you’d seen them disappear to in the past.

“Not my fault you only have like four employees,” you say, shrugging with a faux-innocence he sees right through. You’re cute, though, so he’ll let it slide.

“I have three employees and all of them would probably return this overdue shit for you without question,” he says with an unimpressed look as he underlines the ‘return by’ date on your receipt and flips it around for you to see. “Two days, a bit irresponsible, no?” He exhales dramatically as he clicks obnoxiously around on the computer on the counter before shaking his head, “Don’t know if we can help even a loyal customer such as yourself in an incident like this.”

You don’t know Jay well enough to know if he’s joking or not, but before you can even respond, the bell chimes and welcomes in one of the other usual customers.

“You always come in on Tuesdays,” the man says. His greasy mouth quirks into a smirk as he winks at you and starts toward the counter. Before he can get too close, however, Jason shakes his head and points toward the door. “What? I didn’t do anything this time!” the man exclaims.

“Buddy, we’ve already talked about you scaring off my customers.” 

“Three strikes doesn’t apply?” the man tries.

Without waiting for Jay’s response, he disappears off between the shelves before coming toward the counter again with a box in hand. Once he’s back in sight, your eyes drop to the counter in front of you, wishing he would just leave you alone.

“Pretty sure you’re at your limit and,” Jason cuts off the man before he can interrupt, “I’m not going to argue with you about my own strike system, so kindly fuck off.” There’s nothing kind about the dark timber of Jay’s voice.

The other man seems to think better of questioning the manager who makes the GameStop uniform look like a stripper outfit through his muscles alone.

“I just came here to get this, man.” With this, he drops the box on the counter and you recognize it as the new, limited-edition final season statue worth over $400. Jason seems to realize this, too and looks at you with a silent apology before quickly checking the man out and personally escorting him to the door after. 

“Just because you’re a big spender doesn’t mean you won’t be banned if you don’t start treating her, let alone any other woman, with some fucking respect.” The look Jason gives the man is enough to send him scurrying out without so much as a glance back at you.

“Thanks,” you say quietly in the wake of silence that follows the door’s bell. The tinkling noise echoes around in your ears.

“Don’t thank me for shit like that,” he says, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.

You say nothing else as he processes the late return without question. 

As soon as he hands you your receipt, Jay walks you out to your car, holding the door open for you, all while making sure the man hasn’t lingered in the parking lot or anything. Luckily, it seems like Jay’s warning has sufficiently warded the creep off. He makes sure you’re completely in your car before shutting your door, then watches you peel out of the lot until your car is a mere fleck in his vision.

A/N: this was a spur of the moment fic i really had a craving for a gamestop au after i was forced to go in there to return some shit and was like o... i know what i need to do now, hence ^

let me know what you think and check out my pinned for my other content!

[next] || ao3 ||  pinned || ways to support

[insomniaticvoids]

I love horror games they are high key a core part of my existence and artistic inspiration. And as such it does mean I an unsettled by werid things not really average stuff. It's kind of hard to be scared of many normal things working customer service and also having the habit of breaking stuff down cause Ohoho lore moment.

Grotesque doesn't mean scary, features or startlement doesn't equate to scary. It's association for one person a thing can be terrifying while another well boring.

It's I think a reason why Japanese visual horror novels work so well is that they don't rely on purely apperence of things to make someone scared. There's more to it. It's not just jumpscares but a slow or quick imposing dread and stakes placed and given to you the player. That being said that is probably the reason beside ohoho story and design that I adore Shiin/Death mark. Yep always comes back to this series.

Like I do not equate scary monsters with fear but the designs and love of details and story written and designed is a bit to good that I have to make sure to not be in a can have psychosis go nuts cause the game is a bit to good at design my brain goes ah here let's do this in real life. There's a level of skill to making designs so fearful that they stick in your brain long after you play a game. It has to stand out and man Death Mark actually nails that.

[centuryberry]

@peachshadows / @terrible-leviathan Pigsy’s Noodles prepares to serve the Royal Family. It’s a big deal since it would be the first time the Royal cubs comes along.

Inspired by this ask made by @chaozquartz

Getting a reservation at Pigsy’s Noodles usually took months, if not years, because of its high demand. While its delivery service made its delicious, hand-pulled noodles accessible to the populace, sitting in was a completely different experience. There were exceptions to this, of course. When high-ranking demons wanted a table, they tended to skip over the long line and get served first.

But when it came to the Royal Family? The entire restaurant would be cleared out for the whole day. No one wanted to upset the Emperor and Empress, after all. Pigsy was always honored and stressed whenever the Royal couple came to eat at his restaurant.

But this time, the stakes were higher. The Prince and Princess were coming to the restaurant for the first time after their existences were revealed to the world. They are both beloved by their parents, Pigsy knew, so that meant any offense, any mistake made today meant his head and the heads of his staff.

Including Tang.

While Pigsy tolerated his most troublesome waiter’s clumsiness and laziness on normal days, letting him off after some yelling and threats to fire him (he never does, he never would), he made sure to put Tang in the back to wash the dishes for today. He couldn’t take any risks.

Pigsy ran the rest of his entire staff ragged in preparation for the Royal Family’s visit. By the time they came, every inch of the restaurant was sparkling and all the dishes were ready to be served.

With sweat running down his brow, Pigsy greeted the Royal Family at the entrance. He might be a big demon, but his height was nothing in comparison to the power that the celestial rulers had. He gave them all a deep and reverent bow. He kept his gaze low and his voice pleasant as he led them to their seats. The entire staff knew the Emperor and Empress’ preferences by heart, already having their favorite teas and appetizers ready to bring out and serve.

The Prince and Princess seemed to be easy customers, much to Pigsy’s relief. Prince MK tried everything that was offered to him and thanked every server, scaring some since they weren’t used to being acknowledged by customers. He even spoke to Pigsy, complimenting his restaurant and the presentation of the appetizers.

“I can’t wait to try your noodles,” Prince MK said with an odd mix of poorly-hidden excitement and…something else. Something wistful and sad. “I heard they’re the best.”

The Princess, on the other hand, wouldn’t stop staring at Pigsy. She allowed the Emperor and Empress to fuss over her and spoon feed her tiny, bite-sized fruits and snacks, but her gaze didn’t waver from him. Her brow was scrunched up as if she was struggling to find an answer to a difficult puzzle.

The Empress noticed his daughter’s gaze and expression and sent a suspicious look at the chef’s way. The look spoke of very not-good things if Pigsy didn’t fix whatever the issue was. Empress Liu’er Mihou was known to punish many for less.

It left Pigsy frazzled and on edge. So much so that he quietly snapped at one of his waiters when they made a mistake.

At that, the Princess’ lotus ears flicked and her eyes widened in recognition and joy, unbeknownst to the stressed-out chef.

“Pigsy!”

Instinctively, Pigsy’s head whipped up at the sound of his name. Princess Xiaodan started to wiggle and reach for him - him!

“Pigsy! Pigsy!” Princess Xiaodan chirped sweetly with a giggle. “Nyoo-dal! Love!”

Pigsy was completely lost. He looked uncertainly at the Emperor and Empress, who seemed to share his surprise and confusion, before turning back to the baby monkey. “Princess…?”

Prince MK laughed nervously. “She’s a huge fan,” he explained. “And she’s super-excited for the noodles.”

Pigsy was….he was so moved! For the Princess to recognize him and his noodles at such a young age! In his heart, he swore to give her the best experience!

(As he thought this, his overworked staff shuddered and cried.)

The tension in the Empress’ expression cleared into something lighter (safer) as he began to smile and laugh along with his youngest. “I see. So that’s how it was. We must’ve taken you both here often in the future.”

Pigsy pretended not to hear the last part. It didn’t make sense and he didn’t want it to be explained to him. The less he knew about the Royal Family’s secrets, the safer he would be.

Even with the insurmountable pressure on his shoulders, Pigsy carried on and brought out his best noodles. To his pride, the Emperor, Empress, and the Prince were all satisfied and impressed with all he had to offer. Bowls were emptied and plates were wiped clean.

But Princess Xiaodan touched none of the food. Even when it was offered to her in bite-sized portions, she turned away from the chopsticks and spoons. Instead, she stared expectantly at Pigsy.

Thing was, Pigsy had no idea what she wanted from him.

The longer Princess Xiaodan looked at him, the more confused and sad she became.

“A-Dan Nyoo-dal, where?” The little monkey whimpered, looking absolutely heartbroken. “Pigsy no love?”

And this was where Pigsy would die. He was sure of it with how the Emperor and the Empress were both frying him alive with their eyes.

Prince MK choked on his noodles at his younger sister’s words. He set aside his bowl and chopsticks in alarm. “Oh no. Ooooooh no. A-Dan, please don’t cry. I know that you usually get your special A-Dan Noodles from Pigsy’s whenever you visit, but he can’t now because…” he struggled, trying to find an explanation before finding it. “Because he accidentally ate a ghost pepper and forgot how to make it!”

Princess Xiaodan’s teary eyes cleared in an instant. She looked at Pigsy with horror and sympathy at his fictitious memory loss by ghost pepper. “Oh no! Poor Pigsy!”

There was so much in that excuse that Pigsy didn’t have the time to unpack. Again, the business of royals wasn’t something he should put his snout into if he could help it.

“…So that’s why Gege is going to help him make A-Dan’s special noodles!” Prince MK finished with a too-wide smile.

What.

Before Pigsy knew it, he and Prince MK were in his kitchen. He did put up some resistance at first, the kitchen was his domain and the safe space for his staff after all. It was where Tang was. Good kid or no, Pigsy was a bit wary of sharing such a vulnerable and sacred part of his life to a stranger of a Prince…even if the kid kept looking at him as if he were someone he knew and missed. But one chilling look from Emperor Wukong forced his hand.

Prince MK, at least, was appropriately apologetic about the whole situation. “I’m sorry! I promise not to make a mess and follow your rules! I just don’t like seeing A-Dan sad and thinking you no longer love her…well, the “other” you. Making her special noodle dish isn’t too hard! It’ll be quick to make, I promise!”

Again, so much to unpack, but Pigsy didn’t have the time or patience to do that right now. He had a Prince to keep an eye on and a Princess to please.

Pigsy braced himself for the worst. He expected unwashed hands and burnt pots.

But that didn’t happen.

The Prince wasn’t a prodigy by any means, but he knew his way around the kitchen. He knew what ingredients to pick out and how to prepare them. He hand-pulled his noodles exactly how Pigsy would do it.

The Special A-Dan Noodles wasn’t an intricate masterpiece by any means, but it was obviously a dish made with love. And it was a dish Pigsy could see himself making.

No. Pigsy had seen many strange things in the world, but he couldn’t be considering that time travel is real. It wasn’t, right? Right?!

“Whew. All done. Thanks for letting me use your kitchen, Pigsy. Please take this to A-Dan. It’ll make her day…and make her feel a little less horrible about your, ah, memory loss.”

Pigsy accepted the steaming bowl of noodles, mind whirling. “Um. Sure thing, your highness.”

Prince MK made a face at the title. “Just call me MK, please.”

Before Pigsy could find a way to politely refuse, Tang wandered into the kitchen with a pile of dirty plates in his arms. The sight of him struck terror into Pigsy’s heart. Tang was supposed to be further back. Why was he here? And with plates? Whoever put Tang up to this, Pigsy was going to find them and wring their necks. It only took an uneven tile on the floor for Tang to trip and fall towards the Prince.

“Tang -!”

“Whoa there, you almost dropped those, Mr. Tang!” The Prince caught Tang with one hand and caught all of the plates with the other without breaking a sweat. As he helped Tang right himself, he offered the human a smile. “Pigsy would’ve yelled your ear off for that one.”

Poor Tang was a flustered mess. Despite the Prince’s gentleness and friendliness, he shied away from the demon. He was used to cruelties from their kind after all.

The Prince’s smile quickly shifted into horror and grief at the instinctive way Tang threw up his arms in defense.

“I-I-I’m so sorry! I-! Wait.” Tang blinked. “How did you know my name?”

“Oh. Um.” Prince MK hunched into himself, tail curling close to his legs. “It’s…complicated. I…I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry for scaring you. And bothering you. I’ll just…get back to the table.”

Prince MK fled, leaving Tang and Pigsy behind to blink after him. After a moment of silence, Pigsy’s human adjusted his glasses and turned to him with a familiar glint in his eyes that spoke of hours worth of conspiracy theories that he would have to listen to.

“Time travel?” Tang asked.

“Don’t say it out loud!” Pigsy hissed.

Tang closed his mouth but his eyes continued to glitter. It was a far cry from his terrified expression from before, so Pigsy allowed it. He took the bowl of noodles out and presented it to the Princess, who beamed and clapped with excitement. With the Empress’ help, she finished off her bowl of noodles with a satisfied chirp.

“Pigsy all better?” Princess Xiaodan inquired, still very worried about Pigsy’s health. It touched the demon’s soul.

“Yes, Princess. I’m all better. Thanks for worrying about this old pig.”

“Hooray! A-Dan and Gege come again!” She promised sweetly. “See Tang too!”

“Tang?” The Emperor wondered aloud, but was immediately distracted by Prince MK’s rambling before he could pursue the question even further. The Empress' ears flicked, but he didn’t acknowledge Princess Xiaodan’s mention of Tang, much to Pigsy’s relief. The entire family left the restaurant full, satisfied, and happy.

And, with that, Pigsy and his restaurant survived the dinner.

“…It’s time travel, isn’t it?” Was Tang’s smug greeting when Pigsy returned to the back of the kitchen.

Of all the - “Yes,” Pigsy finally relented, “happy? Now get back to work, Tang. The floor won’t clean itself.”

[davidsnavelyfinancialexpert]

David Snavely’s Expert Tips for Investment, Retirement, and Health Planning

You must learn how to survive in retirement on Social Security, a pension, or a lifetime of savings through an employer-sponsored retirement plan. For older adults who are nearing retirement, extending the life of their money is their top concern. Financial advisors with the necessary credentials, such as David Snavely, offer their clients guidance to assist them in comprehending these fascinating questions 

It might be difficult for customers to determine what their counsel can offer in comparison to other advisers, even with this wide range of options. However, how can one assess a financial advisor’s skill and knowledge? A range of market benchmarks are available for use as a comparative tool.

The Importance of Trustworthy Financial Advisors:

When people start thinking about financial investments, they often consider stock and bond investments for the appropriate portfolio. However, a qualified financial advisor should provide you with more guidance based on your needs. You should be able to consult with and trade with a competent counsel. You need to locate an advisor you can trust. When money is involved in a process, the stakes are always high because your financial destiny rests on their advice. It is important for the advisor to know who you are and your goals. Verify if the individual has a legal obligation and is a certified fiduciary.

Retirement Planning with Reliable Income Sources:

Retirement planning is incredibly simple when people receive Social Security and a pension because they will all have a reliable source of income. If you have worked in a career that pays well, you may be able to supplement your fixed income. Few individuals have pensions, and Social Security was not designed to replace your pre-retirement income. Individuals who receive Social Security and guaranteed income can enjoy their retirement and live in peace. They can use that to pay for their basic needs, such as food and housing. Speak with a financial advisor, such as David Snavely, about creating a retirement savings plan. This will ensure a steady source of income in retirement.

Creating a Comprehensive Investment Plan:

Creating an investment plan involves more than just investing a little amount of money in stocks and other assets and asking friends and family for advice. To make wise financial decisions, you will need to conduct the study. Financial prospectuses are a must-read for anyone making an investment. It’s a better idea to lose yourself in the world of finance on your laptop than to post a job seeking money after retirement. Prioritizing financial preparedness over spending time with your partner is important since you never know what will happen to you. Most people won’t mind sharing their strategy with experts. You can take their assistance in handling the remaining portions of your portfolio.

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The service of financial planning is not one-size-fits-all, says David Snavely. A customer may lose money using a style or method that works for one. For each customer, a financial advisor must create a unique plan. If your adviser lacks these qualities, it might be time to move on. These qualities can be very beneficial to you. Content Source: https://homesbyoneteam.com/communities/haddon-township-real-estate

[raeygina-george]

1, 2, 3, 13, 30 & 31 for the omori ask game!!

omg hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

1 favorite omori character out of the main 6?

take a guess take a hot guess. if you guessed aubrey, you'd be right. if you guessed mari, you'd also be right. if you guessed kel, you'd also-

2 favorite side characters/npcs?

MUTANTHEART MY BELOVED FOREVER SHE IS SO GOOPY. i'll have to like run through a list of every single side character but for the rw i like mincy she just like me fr.

3 favorite songs from the ost?

so very great that you asked this. *pulls out a list*

bready steady go, world's end valentine, underwater prom queens but specifically the symphonic metal cover, honestly the metal covers for all of these r so good, i have like 10 it means everything covers but i dont remember being the hugest fan of the original at least when i first heard it? it's kinda tame, by your side.... but one of the covers, oh the deeper well osts like numbers and sinking, final duet is pretty, you were wrong go back, i remember really liking wandering rose when i was first playing the game, i think tee hee time is pretty good i haven't really listented to it though i was too busy fighting for my fucking life, good morning i guess, and also my time ofc but i don't really consider it an omori song i consider it a bo en song

13 do you have any omori headcanons?

oh so many. *pulls out a li-

a lot of my hcs have spoilers/heavy topics in them & i have a lot mainly focused on post true ending, so if anyone's interested hmu haha (i am normal)

but for some small ones i have. aubrey and kel are gym bros but instead of motivating each other by being supportive they set incredibly unrealistic goals and make it a medium-stakes competition to get them the fastest. mari gave a lot of her old clothes that didn't fit her anymore to aubrey: after she died her clothes were either given to aubrey or donated to a goodwill or something & aubrey bought a bunch back with her own shitty customer service job money. speaking of mari and aubrey, wouldn't it be fun if they used to paint their nails together at sleepovers and as a child aubrey painted her nails a lot bc it reminded her of the fun sleepovers with mari but after mari died she stopped because it reminded her that everyone who loved her was essentially dead, even if they didn't really die

30 why is omori special to you?

honestly im not even sure. maybe because of the guilt and the grief. there's just something i really really love about media with a 'i loved you more than myself and i hold myself responsible for your death regardless of whether or not it was my fault, so i've sealed away all of my trauma and created a happy world where you and i and everyone we love can live together forever'.... in fact before i even knew about omori i created a story that follows more or less that exact premise, and im still working on it today (not that im ever going to finish it).

maybe it's also bc the friend group & the situation reminds me a lot of a certain friend group that i had that i was still processing the fallout from when i first played the game? or maybe i just like angst lol

31 do you want to high five kel?

yeah why not

[widerimmigrationconsultant]

Top Immigration Consultants in Delhi: Your Guide to Securing a Canadian Visa

Ever thought of settling down in Canada? The natural scenery, high standard of living and job opportunities are just some of the many reasons why Canada attracts thousands of immigrants every year. But navigating the complex Canadian immigration process on your own can seem like an overwhelming task. That's where immigration consultants come in. They are experts who can guide you through the entire process to help make your Canadian dream a reality. If you're in Delhi, you're in luck - the city is home to some of the best immigration consultants in Delhi. In this guide, we give you the lowdown on the top immigration consultants in Delhi to help find the right one for you. With their help, that coveted Canadian visa will be yours in no time.

Why You Need an Immigration Consultant

Why fork over thousands of dollars to an immigration consultant? The answer is simple - securing a Canadian visa is complicated. The application process involves mounds of paperwork, strict deadlines, and complex eligibility criteria. An experienced immigration consultant can guide you through the process, help avoid costly mistakes, and increase your chances of success.

Consultants stay up-to-date with the frequently changing rules and regulations. They know the latest requirements, application procedures, and documentation needed for your specific situation. This expertise allows them to craft a customized roadmap for you to navigate the system.

The application process can be time-consuming and confusing. Consultants handle the paperwork and compile the required evidence on your behalf. They make the process as hassle-free as possible so you can focus on other important things.

Another benefit of hiring a consultant is avoiding application rejection. Even minor errors or omissions can lead to refusal. Consultants review your application to ensure all information is accurate and complete before submission. Their guidance and oversight help minimize the risks of rejection.

Securing a Canadian visa is a big life decision. Don't go it alone - leverage the experience and skills of an immigration expert. They stay up-to-date with requirements, simplify the process, reduce chances of refusal, and work to get your application approved. The investment in a knowledgeable consultant is well worth the peace of mind. Your future in Canada is at stake, so why not stack the odds of success in your favor?

How to Choose the Best Immigration Consultants in Delhi

Choosing an immigration consultant is one of the most important decisions you'll make in your journey to Canada. With so many options in Delhi, how do you know which one is right for you?

Do your research

Check reviews from independent sources like Google, Facebook, and Yelp to see what others say about the consultant. Look for mostly positive reviews mentioning reasonable fees, good communication, and successful applications.

Meet with top candidates

Once you narrow it down to a few options, schedule initial consultations. Come prepared with questions about their experience, credentials, fees, and the overall process. See which consultant you connect with and who provides the most comprehensive plan for your unique situation.

Consider credentials and experience

The best consultants have proper accreditation, like from the ICCRC, as well as years of experience specifically helping clients immigrate to Canada. Ask about their success rates for different visa categories. More experience often means better outcomes.

Discuss services and fees upfront

Fees can vary significantly between consultants, so make sure you understand exactly what's included and the total cost before signing a contract. Watch out for hidden fees and unrealistic promises. A good consultant will be very transparent about fees and what you can expect.

Trust your instincts

At the end of the day, go with the consultant you feel most confident in and comfortable with. They'll be helping you through complicated paperwork and a stressful process, so your rapport and trust in them is extremely important. With the right guidance, you'll be on your way to Canada in no time!

Top Immigration Consultants in Delhi for Canada PR and Visa

If you’re looking to immigrate to Canada from Delhi, it’s a good idea to work with an experienced consultant to guide you through the often complicated process. Here are the top immigration consultants in Delhi to consider for help obtaining your Canadian PR visa:

WIDER WORLD IMMIGRATION

Wider World Immigration is one of the most reputable immigration consultants in Delhi. They have over 10 years of experience helping clients immigrate to Canada and other countries. They offer guidance on various Canadian immigration programs like Express Entry, Provincial Nominee Programs, Family Sponsorship, and more. Their team of ICCRC lawyers and immigration experts will handle your case efficiently and increase your chances of being approved.

Documents Required for Canada PR and Visa Application

To apply for Canadian permanent residency or a temporary visa, you will need to submit several important documents. The exact documents required will depend on the specific immigration program you are applying under, but here are some of the common ones:

Passport: A valid passport is required for any immigration application. Make sure your passport has at least 2 blank pages and will not expire for at least 6-12 months from the date of your application.

Language test results: For most economic immigration programs, you will need to provide proof of language proficiency in English or French. The most common tests accepted are IELTS and CELPIP.

Educational credentials: Copies of your degrees, diplomas, certificates, and transcripts to prove your level of education. These must be accompanied by an Educational Credential Assessment (ECA) report from designated organizations like WES Canada or ICES.

Job offer letter (if applicable): For programs like the Federal Skilled Worker Program and Provincial Nominee Programs, a valid job offer from a Canadian employer can significantly improve your chances.

Funds for settlement: Evidence that you have adequate funds to settle in Canada, usually around $10,000-$15,000 for a single applicant. This can be shown through bank statements, investment documents, etc.

Police clearance certificates: To prove you have no criminal record, you need a police clearance certificate from each country you have lived in for 6+ months over the last 10 years.

Medical exams: Undergo an immigration medical exam with a designated doctor to ensure you do not have any health conditions that could put excessive demand on Canada's healthcare system.

Reference or experience letters (if applicable): For some programs, reference or experience letters from former employers can be submitted to prove your work experience. Make sure these letters clearly describe your job duties, work hours, and time period employed.

Following the guidance of an expert immigration consultant in Delhi can help ensure you submit a complete application with all necessary documentation to maximize your chances of success. With the right credentials and paperwork in hand, you'll be well on your way to calling Canada home!

FAQs: Common Questions About Immigration to Canada

Many people have questions about immigrating to Canada. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions and answers to help clarify the process.

Do I need a lawyer to immigrate to Canada?

No, hiring an immigration lawyer is not required. However, securing the services of a licensed immigration consultant can help guide you through the complex application process. Immigration consultants are regulated by the Immigration Consultants of Canada Regulatory Council (ICCRC) and have extensive knowledge of Canadian immigration laws and programs.

How much does it cost to immigrate to Canada?

The cost to immigrate to Canada can vary significantly depending on the immigration program. Permanent residence application fees for programs like Express Entry, Family Sponsorship or Provincial Nominee Programs typically range from $550 to $1,050 per adult applicant. Additional costs may include language testing, medical exams, and the services of an immigration consultant.

How long does it take to immigrate to Canada?

The processing time for Canadian immigration applications depends on the program. For example, Express Entry aims for processing most applications within 6 months. Family Sponsorship can take 12 months or longer. Provincial Nominee Programs vary by province, ranging from 6 to 18 months. The timeline also depends on application backlogs and the completeness of your application.

Do I need to know French to immigrate to Canada?

No, knowledge of French is not required to immigrate to Canada for most programs. However, being bilingual in English and French can help in finding a job and gaining Canadian citizenship. Outside of Quebec, most Canadians speak English. French is an official language mainly spoken in Quebec and some areas of New Brunswick, Ontario, and Manitoba.

Can I bring my family to Canada?

Yes, when you immigrate to Canada permanently, you can sponsor certain family members to join you. This includes your spouse or common-law partner, dependent children, parents, and grandparents. The requirements and process differ depending on your family member. It's best to consult an immigration professional to determine if your family members are eligible and to help guide you through the application process.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the top immigration consultants in Delhi to help you realize your dream of immigrating to Canada. While the application process can seem daunting, these experienced professionals will guide you through it step-by-step. With their expertise and track record of success, you can feel confident you’ll get the best chance of securing that coveted Canadian visa. What are you waiting for? Book your first consultation and start gathering the necessary documents. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying the natural beauty, vibrant culture, and high standard of living that Canada is known for. The next chapter of your life awaits—go get it!

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[morumgty]

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[zipzin]

Boomerang - Act Two: Fall 2017, Part I (Also on Ao3)

And here we go :)

“White Canary, on your left.”

“I see him.” Sara muttered into the comms.

She slid the man’s legs out from under him. One punch to the head and he was out like a light.

“He’s down.”

“I’ve secured the target.” Oliver growled into the comms. “Move out.”

Sara dropped another man as Oliver reappeared. He fired an arrow at someone on the roof and she grabbed him as he got onto his bike. Things were so simple with Oliver. Go in, punch people, get out.

Team Arrow was precise with Felicity’s guidance, but they also didn’t have to  worry about messing up the timeline if people saw them. Or if they accidentally killed someone. Or broke something. Or, Sara thought begrudgingly, left something behind.

They swept into the Arrow Cave in record time and Oliver placed down some technical component on the table for Felicity to look at. Rene cleaned his pistols while Curtis put away his mask and Sara stared, standing next to Felicity as she looked it over, flipping the piece in her hand.

“You think you can help Blondie?” Rene came up next to her.

Sara shot him a disbelieving look, “Obviously not. I’m not part of the Geek squad.” She heard Felicity and Curtis’s offended squawks in the background. “Just letting you two do your thing.” She waved at the cases.

Rene stared her down and Sara just stared back, trying to not look amused. He still hadn’t completely warmed up to her, every now and then questioning her like she was an enemy they were interrogating while Sara would try not to laugh at his attempts at intimidation. Oliver would just sigh, Felicity would try to fight him on her behalf, and John would imposingly stare at him.

Sara didn’t mind, her background was rather colorful, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t been around the craziness of Barry and Central City. It didn’t mean that she hadn’t purposely scared him with her “assassin training” as Felicity called it.

Seeing him leap out of his seat with a high pitched scream always helped whatever frustration she was feeling towards him.

Meanwhile Curtis had bombarded her with a thousand questions that she couldn’t answer. She’d almost given him Jax’s number, but figured that Jax might not forgive her for making him talk about time travel to an over-excitable stranger.

She was still waiting to meet Dinah, the woman who had taken the mantle of Canary from Laurel.

It was strange to just be a piece in the machine. She didn’t give any orders, just followed them, and while Oliver would take her advice sometimes, she didn’t pay enough attention to planning to really know the moving pieces. Sometimes it suited her, she could take all the pent up aggression from her idiot manager on whoever needed punching. But she just mostly felt like an overtrained thug.

“I’m out,” Sara said once Oliver and Felicity had put their heads together to go over some new plan.

“Will we see you tomorrow?” Felicity asked.

“Maybe,” Sara shrugged, “I’m working so.”

Felicity nodded and Sara made her way to the elevator, some of the tension between her shoulder blades gone, but mostly just feeling exhausted. 

The steps up to her father’s apartment feel insurmountable, and for a moment she just leans against the wall. Who knew working minimum wage jobs was worse than staking out a target for Ra’s?

There were worse places to be, Sara reminded herself as she pulled herself up the rest of the stairs. She could still be working for Ra’s. Or Merlyn. Or stuck in Doomworld under Damian’s control killing all her friends.

Though working customer service felt like its own sort of Doomworld.

The apartment was empty when she entered and she heaved herself on the couch. She responded to Felicity’s text that she would not be joining them tonight and took off her shoes to try and get feeling back in her feet.

She’d figure out dinner later, closing her eyes as she felt her body begin to relax, aches she didn’t know she had suddenly making themselves known.

The door jangled as her dad stepped through, plastic bags swishing in his hand, “I brought dinner!”

“Thank god!”

He placed them on the coffee table, “Are you going out tonight?”

“No,” Sara said as she began to unpack the food.

He gave her a quick hug, “Long day?”

“The longest.” Sara sighed.

“Well, I’m happy that you’re staying in, we can enjoy an evening in.”

Sara snorted, “We both know you’re just going to turn on the Rockets game.”

His hand stopped, hovered over the remote. He smiled, “It’s always more fun with someone else.” And flicked on the channel.

The sports announcers were a quiet murmur in the background as Sara began the gorge herself on chow mein. “And,” He added, “I always worry when you’re off doing your thing. Even when you were on a futuristic spaceship with all that fancy technology. So, I like having you right here, where I know you aren’t getting into trouble.”

“I’m always getting into trouble.” Sara smirked.

He rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean.”

“I know, and I’m in less danger than you think.”

He gave her a skeptical glance, “I think it’s better if you don’t lie and I can imagine whatever I want to.”

Sara laughed, “If you want.”

“I mean dinosaurs in LA? Atomic bombs and being scattered in time? Half the stuff you talk about I never could have imagined. I’d much rather think you’re kidnapping doctors from the wrong time period.”

“Deal.”

“How long does this train take again?” Nate whined next to her.

Sara rolled her eyes, “If you’d just come to Star City as I asked you’d already know. And we’d be there.”

“Look, I had a life there,” Nate said, “One that when this blows up in our face I’ll go back to.”

“It’s not going to blow up in our face,” Sara said.

“It always blows up in our face.” Ray nodded to Nate.

“Well, this one isn’t. We just need to prove to Rip that his Time Bureau isn’t perfect.” Sara said evenly, “And then we get our ship back.”

“Why would he just give us the Waverider? He probably has a team using it now.”

“Better than us?” Sara asked.

Neither of them looked that confident and Sara gave her best smile. She really wished that Nate had mentioned earlier that Amaya wasn’t with him. How was she supposed to contact her? Did Amaya get a phone? Was she in Central City still? She wanted to ask Nate, but he looked so depressed that she figured she’d let Ray talk to him about it. Ray was not getting her message to get him to talk about it and just giving Nate puppy dog eyes.

Though she really wanted Amaya here.

It was pretty much the only reason she’d gone to Central City.

She knew not messaging Stein or Jax was a mistake, but she felt bringing Firestorm would send the wrong message. They weren’t trying to blow something up.

She checked her phone, they had fifteen minutes before they were due to arrive, and Sara felt her heart skip in her chest. They could do this, they’d get the Waverider back, all they needed to do was talk to Rip, who was hopefully there, and as long as Rory had secured Julius Caesar, they were good.

What could go wrong?

Sara felt giddy as they walked up to the building that Felicity and her had staked out several weeks ago. She’d changed out of her uniform as they ate an early dinner at her dad’s and she was certain this couldn’t go wrong. The Time Bureau didn’t have a reception desk, and the badge from Craig was safely in her wallet.

They get up, they walk in, they find Rip.

Easy.

They get Rip to give them the Waverider and start patrolling the timeline.

Sara shook herself, that was getting too far ahead. No need to overcomplicate what could be a very straightforward mission.

The boys seemed surprised that she’d lifted a badge off an agent, and she can only shake her head at them, laugh bit down because they are technically trespassing. But Rip will understand.

She hopes.

The lobby is absurd, with a floating holograph symbol and a couple dozen people all wearing the same thing. Sara only has a moment to take it all in before the first agent pulls out a gun.

“Freeze!”

More agents pour in, guns cocking, and Sara sighed. Had Rip really plastered their picture around the Bureau and told them to be met with force? Or since they weren’t wearing those ugly suits everyone thought that they were an anachronism? She lifts her arms half-heartedly.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome.”

The woman’s voice whispered to something in her head, and Sara froze, trying to place it through time.

“On the floor. Hands behind your heads.”

Sara rolled her eyes. This was so fucking excessive. She began to crouch as the woman came into view and she felt like she’d been hit with three arrows all over again.

It couldn’t be.

She didn’t look at her, instead forcing Ray down with excessive force, but Sara couldn’t do anything but stare, her mouth dropping open.

She leaned over Ray, and Sara knew, that after 13 years, she was back in the presence of Ava Sharpe.

What the fuck?