#so it's a win either way

[foodsies4me]

February Malec fic rec!

Thanking @kalalab for this month's theme which is enemies to lovers! The same rules still apply, about one fic per author, but all of these authors have other brilliant fics you should be reading and if you want to add your own recs in the comments, tags, or reblogs please feel free to do so! 😊

Also, I have tagged the authors whose Tumblr account I know, but if you'd prefer I not tag you, please tell me so! I don't want these to be annoying for the authors.

One-shots:

Rumor Has It by Lecrit: A human AU which is not something I'm generally a fan of, but Lecrit just writes so well that I gobble this up anyway.

Summary:

Magnus widens his eyes at him, silently asking him to just give him this one. Alec simply curves one of his stupidly perfect eyebrows in response, a simple gesture that carries the weight of a call for challenge. “Looks like you’re gonna have to postpone your wedding for now,” Maia giggles next to him. Magnus huffs, flexing his jaw. “Oh, it’s on, Lightwood,” he mouths at him.

Also, because I suck at keeping to my own rules, I'm adding a second fic rec that I maybe love just as much by Lecrit aka the way to a chef's heart. But, in my defense, both fics are great and one is about cooking and baking. I am weak when it comes to food, okay?

Anyway, summary:

After a scorching review on his restaurant in one of the world's most famous food magazines, world class chef Magnus Bane is set on finding the food critic who dared to slander his art and make him change his mind. He doesn't expect someone as stubborn or infuriating as Alec Lightwood

you're the light that i won't let go by oh-la-fraise: Another human AU as well as an Enemies to Lovers with a twist.

Summary:

There were three unspoken rules to the Manhattan Institute of Higher Learning, New York’s premier private K-12 school: 1) Respect that the space under the football bleachers was for sex, and only for sex. 2) Don’t eat the cafeteria meatloaf. 3) Never mention Mr. Bane to Mr. Lightwood or vice versa, unless you wanted the whole class to get extra homework.

careless curses by @alexanderlightweight: I don't know what to say that isn't already stated in the summary except I love it when alexanderlightweight writes dark themes. (Or just writes in general).

Summary:

The Lightwood family has been cursed by death for generations and now, Alec lives with death hovering over him. Sometimes life is the curse and death the reward.

Ten Not-Dates That Magnus Bane Spends Falling In Love with Alec Lightwood by Aria_Lerendeair: Magnus is hilariously done at the start of this fic.

Summary:

Magnus was going to have words with the Clave. They would be decidedly unpleasant words, and they might be accompanied by a few very pointed magic blasts and maybe even curses.  They deserved it. Another Lightwood in charge of the New York Institute?

Multi-chapter fics or series:

All the Costs are Even by tsujiharu: A fic that deserves more love imo, is this Pride and Prejudice retelling. Also, I'm just now realizing that most of these are Human AU's despite me being notorious for generally not liking them, lol.

Summary:

A modern day Pride and Prejudice AU, in which a disgruntled lawyer and an aloof entrepreneur can't seem to get over their pride (and prejudices?) and admit their very obvious attraction to each other.

love is a four-letter word by @la-muerta: Do la-muerta fics need to be recced? Probably not because I suspect most people have read them. Am I still going to to rec them because I love them? Yes! So here is another lovely human AU fic where first impressions maybe aren't what they seem.

Summary:

Magnus knows he's one of the best editors in the business. So when the bigoted director of the publishing house he works for gives their grandson's best friend the promotion Magnus deserved to get, he decides that it's the last straw. Magnus intends to go out with a bang and take his new boss down with him — but he didn't mean for it to happen quite so literally.

Crush On You by @gospi: A FTH fic of 2023 that had me laughing at how salty Alec is about crushing on Magnus. A lot of fun.

Summary:

An ancient, unsuccessful recipe for starting new relationshipsalliances: A dash of rumors. A sprinkle of heritage. A smidgen of jealousy. A dollop of chaotic disasters. A shitload of assumptions. Let it simmer. Enjoy!

My True Love Gave To Me by AlxSteele: Christmas repeats itself endlessly for Magnus and while it's annoying he does end up learning a new side from the awful baked Alec Lightwood. Surprise, he isn't all that awful.

Summary:

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong. Now he's stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn't as terrible as Magnus always thought.

A fic that I am sure most people have already read because it is wonderful (which is the reason why I didn't add it last month even though it's a wing fic) is Fall Without Wings by @notcrypticbutcoy. It's a brilliant fic that's all.

Summary:

Or: In which the Nephilim have wings, are taught to loathe Downworlders, and Alec is presented with a conundrum when Magnus Bane saves his life.

[trashycosmos]

i don't know why i haven't tried it before but eggplant is actually really good and i def am gonna keep adding it to my alfredo going forward

[heynhay]

playing dirty

[shesmore-shoebill]

Regardless of whether its real or not, people saying that "maybe they didn't know it was aprils fools" is funny to me. No they absolutely know. thats the whole point . its the best and maybe only way to do this whether its true or not.

Like imagine if you WERE in a relationship that had been deeply visible and wildly speculated on for basically all your formative years, with no signs of stopping. You've just got droves of people clamoring about every potential shred of information and following your every move and constantly speculating about this or tying it back to the relationship which might not have been true at certain points but happens to be now. What. Is the best. Funniest way to reveal that information? With max chaos?

Or imagine if you ARENT in that relationship but you know you'll never get peace from people asking you about it or wondering no matter what you do. AND you have a workplace and friends that LOVE a silly good joke. And committing to the bit. Whats the best way to leverage THAT. How can you absolutely level your fans.

Like Of COURSE they're gonna do an april fools announcement. Golden opportunity either way. no one knows if its real. half of the ruckus is people losing it trying to determine truth. You cant be two silly lil guys and NOT take advantage of a golden bit.

[morethanwonderful]

Sweeping away his competition with a constant lead and a final victory by 22%, Shen (Yuan) Qingqiu has officially beaten Qi Rong and been crowned the MXTX character that was/would be most insufferable if given access to the internet!

In the end, it turns out that this whole elaborate tournament was for naught. Even Qi Rong, the man voted more annoying that 63 other characters, cannot hold a candle to the sheer degree of insufferable that we know our dear Peerless Cucumber was and would be. Absolutely nobody can compare to Shen Yuan's canon keyboard warrior antics.

Thank you all for joining me on this journey! I hope everyone had fun voting in this tournament, as I know I had a lot of fun running things and watching everyone's hot takes. Shen Yuan may have rendered all but the very final round of voting moot with his sheer loveable obnoxiousness, but maybe the real most insufferable people online are the friends we made along the way :).

[pumpkinrootbeer]

last two episodes like

Charlie made a deal with Alastor VINEBOOM Alastor verbally confirmed asexual in the show VINEBOOM Vaggie has wings VINEBOOM Alastor could see himself getting attached to all of them VINEBOOM Vox is hard for Alastor??? Vineboom??? Pentious kissed then died VINEBOOM Lucifer is here VINEBOOM Alastor is missing VINEBOOM Adam is dead VINEBOOM Vox is still abnormal about Alastor VINEBOOM Alastor is back and desperate to get out of his deal VINEBOOM PENTIOUS GOT REDEEMED AND LILITH IS IN HEAVEN VINEBOOM VINEBOOM VINEBOOM

[lesbianlenas]

hmmmm i wonder what it was that made biden able to beat trump but not clinton or harris……hmmm what could it possibly be i wonder that shifted the votes away from those two qualified candidates but not old man joe…..

[mwagneto]

i don't rly care about what's going on with the mcu multiverse or the plot or whatever the only metric of quality wrt deadpool 3 is whether him and wolverine fuck nasty or not. they won't but disney had the potential to make the greatest movie of all time

[denkisauce]

(bnha manga ending spoilers)

what was the point

what was the point

what was the point

WHAT WAS THE POINT

WHAT WAS THE POINT

WHAT WAS THE POINT 😭😭

what was the pointtttt

[bruciemilf]

Alright yall, I need some help with a first world problem.

[vaguely-concerned]

there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club

[hummus-birb]

“This is an intervention”

[briarlovesclara]

listen im not fully inherently on the sam evan ship train and i am VERY HAPPY with them being bestfriends who are like (spoilers from here on out ep 4) wow look at my best friend who's a badass they're so cool BUT. as a treat to form an alliance with the sam evan shippers may i offer evan being the more aggressive one (and not in an infantilizing way but more protective) in this ep and then sam setting off an explosion that covers the bad guys in glitter and he's like ohhh okay. so that made me feel things

[yardsards]

the thing about labru vs kabumisu is that both of them have the same core appeal to me, specifically from kabru's side of things: kabru being someone who is constantly agonizing about social rules and putting on the right mask, and meeting this Weird Fucking Guy who does not (cannot) care about all those things, and so kabru slowly allows himself to be more genuine. they're both such good relationships (whether you view them romantically or platonically), why must there be so much hostility between enjoyers of these ships?

[fisheito]

I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait

THEY'RE reading beastars

[togamicrying]

one of my fav post game togami headcanons is the idea that in the early days of their time with the future foundation, he's the one doing the Bulk of the work -- not only in the Job sense of like, interpreting all the legalese and filing forms, and being mr ceo guy -- but in a caretaking sense as well.

and its still in his Weird Distant way but like. he picks up extra work so the others dont have to. he brings coffee and tells them when its time to turn in for the night. dont worry. he'll finish the work they have left. it's nothing to him. and sure all of it is couched in backhanded comments a la "if you're too weak to do it i will. i GUESS" because he's still too early in his Journey to Empathy to admit to himself that he's doing these things because he cares. like it's all rationalized as "im the better than everyone and my weak-willed so-called 'peers' are too consumed by grief to actually be useful so i'll do it because im naturally immune to burnout" (he isnt)

and also bc like. he feels BAD about everything that went down in hopes peak. again, not that he'd recognize it as such for years but. here are all these people that he doesn't (does) care about struggling against their own grief for the people they lost that he doesnt care about (or at least doesnt remember caring about) and he treated them SO poorly in some of the harder moments so now's when he needs to make up for it. sure his entire family is dead but he's alive and he's the best one, so he'll do the work. it's fine. this is what he was made for. extra paperwork? handled. too swamped to find time to grab food and water? tch, he's so on top of his work that he already got it for you, stupid. the most dangerous missions? whatever, you'd probably just mess it up anyways, so i'll do it.