#so it went quite fast to write the meta

[blainehasregrets]

What’s your view of the Blam crush?

Also you should tag your meta with character name as it’s not being seen, only by your followers.

It makes sense Blaine would find someone to project on/have a crush on in the meantime while he’s broken up with Kurt, since he’s someone who loves love (Silly Love Songs comes to mind), but he gets over it pretty fast (he could barely even think of any good parts of Sam’s personality in Tina In The Sky With Diamonds lol I also think quite a few Blamtina scenes felt very much like Blaine completely forgot he ever had a crush on Sam) with, in my opinion, little lasting effects.

I feel like, since Blaine moved on so quickly and just went back to Literally planning his wedding with Kurt like nothing, it showed being rejected by Sam didn’t foster any hurt, resentment, or regrets inside of him. He literally just did not care anymore lol Whereas I think Kurt’s crush on Finn and even interest in Sam, though brief and done after their arcs were over, continued to affect him going forward. Those events definitely furthered his communication issues and knocked down his self esteem, which in turn ended up causing problems within his relationship with Blaine.

Though I do think Kurt ultimately loved and chose to be with Blaine because it’s what he wanted, I felt he sometimes had this belief that nobody but Blaine would ever love him. Ex: Saying “I don’t think I’m ever gonna find someone else who’s going to make me feel [safe, connected, and loved like Blaine].” in Love, Love, Love. But I don’t think Blaine had that same fear?

I mean, sure, abandonment issues are the go-to thing people talk about when it comes to Blaine, but I think his abandonment issues were like. Solely focused on being abandoned by Kurt. (Note how he didn’t give a fuck about abandoning the Warblers himself…they loved him so much and worshipped the ground he walked on and yet he left them as soon as Kurt said “I want to spend every minute of everyday…with you♥️” in PPP. Blaine would take that hyperbolic statement to heart and make it his life’s mission to accomplish just that.) I don’t think he ever thought “I have no choice! Nobody but Kurt will ever love me! 😩” It was more like “I don’t CARE about anyone else, even if another person proposed to me right now, I only want KURT!!!!!” Ex: Never pursued Sebastian despite all of his flirting, literally about to throw up after he had sex with Eli (and I think it’s interesting Blaine says “I cheated on the one person I love more than anything in the world” in Dynamic Duets, like that’s his takeaway here. It’s not about feeling like Kurt is his only option, it’s not even about how Kurt loved him, it’s that Blaine wants his only option to be Kurt, Kurt is the person Blaine loves, which is made more obvious with how he could and did hook up with Eli, yet doing so just made him think “wow I really only gaf about Kurt”), had a crush on straight guy Sam which would clearly go nowhere (and could be argued to just be projection and a safe way to experience a crush without it being reciprocated…), dated Dave as a power move more than anything (and this could come with its own set of 5 canon scenes to link to and explain), and does not even care to give Jeremiah a second thought in Transitioning. Though maybe blangst fans would disagree lol

And okay I got ramble-y there for a second, but that’s all to explain why I don’t think Blaine ultimately cared too much about his crush on Sam after the fact!

And while it may be classic Klainer cope, I do think the song he sang “to Sam” in Guilty Pleasures fit Kurt better!

Also thank you for reminding me! I need to organize my tags a little more in general… I went back and fixed up my last post a little (it’s still more messy than I’d like and I also want to add more specific canon scenes as evidence 😔 I’ll have to keep working on it) and tagged it! I’m so used to writing my glee thoughts on private accounts I forget other people can and want to see this stuff…

[tophat-69]

I want you to know that my personal life is quite literally falling the fuck apart and trapped by a singular fate is the glue holding me together. I think of this fic DAILY, it is my much needed escape from reality. Thank you for continuing to write, and share, and put all of the cool meta on tumblr.

Chapter 9 is AMAZING!!! They're all such a mess, I love them. The scene of the enforcers targeting Vander and Felicia is really, really well done. It's heartbreaking, and very visceral to read.

How long have silco and vander been together by ch9? Vander's confession of love to silco is beautiful, and their sex is super hot. Is the gag the gag we see when jinx kidnaps silco in canon?? I always wondered where it came from/was it silco's/why did he have it.

I’m so sorry to hear things aren’t going well! I’m glad that I’ve been able to in some way help distract you, but more than that I hope you catch a break soon and things start to improve for you.

But I am glad you enjoyed the chapter. Felicia’s been fun to puzzle out because I’m trying to show characteristics each of her girls might have picked up from her, while knowing their memories of her grow very fuzzy over time. But Vander and Silco will carry all of these memories of Felicia in technicolor on repeat in their heads for the rest of their lives, and those memories influence how Vander and Silco will eventually raise her daughters.

In Chapter 9, they have been together just under a year—Vander is still moving fast because he has zero chill (he would say that he just knows what he wants). We know from him being our POV character how ridiculously quickly he went from “ah, yes, I am collecting my neglected coworker with the pretty eyes” to “this is my soulmate, I am never giving him back, I will destroy anything that tries to take him from me.” Because he’s young, and that’s just how things go.

Meanwhile Silco’s still trying to trust that nice things can happen to him sometimes, and that just maybe the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t an oncoming train. He’s been on his own for the majority of his life, and things weren’t a picnic even before that. He wants what they have to be real, to mean something, but he’s still afraid of the ground falling out from beneath him the second he gets too comfortable in accepting what he knows is too good to be true. People like him don’t luck into a family and a home and a happily ever after and a co-conspirator and partner in his ideologies.

But he genuinely is working what is likely the most dangerous job in the entire world, and he knows that he could die the next day, or the next week, or the next month. So it’s the dilemma between carefully feeling out whether he can have this, and potentially losing the one chance he’ll get to claim what he wants in whatever little time they have left.

And meanwhile—yes, the gag is the one Jinx finds. It is a gag of great sentimental value, after all! But more seriously, we see that as Silco gets older he has a tendency to cling to every painful memento he can. It’s as if he keeps them close so that if he starts to falter he can rip open old wounds and remember what he’s lost and why he’s still angry and still fighting. The record of ‘their’ song and the photo of the three of them in his safe, the glass from the bar, the paintings facing the walls scattered across his office, the statue of Vander.

Like the photo and the record, it would have been stashed away somewhere. But like the glass, it would seem innocuous if found. For all it was a fun romp, it was also the first time that Vander said he loved Silco, and that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that Silco wouldn’t be abandoned again, and that no matter what happened if Silco just came home they’d get through it.

…

So yeah, that one landed in the collection of very, very painful mementos that Silco wouldn’t let go of. Because that was a foundational night for their relationship, but a lot of promises that would eventually end up broken.

[santacoppelia]

There is something about Shax! (A loving meta)

I have written it too fast and in Spanish, but I really love what happened with demons and Hell in general this season: while in S1 they were kind of "set dressing" and the only distinctive demons were the higher ups, s2 brought us Shax and Furfur, and gave us more insight into Hell, gave Eric a lot of opportunities to charm us, and we saw a lot of small-scale demons that were all different in their own ways.

From all of these things, most of my notes point to Shax. The character is amazing, partly because Miranda Richardson is a great actress, but also because she has some characteristics that made her pop (I'll use female pronouns because the character is so high femme). I talked about some of them in the meta about angels, but Shax definitely deserves their own post! As I've already covered her particular mix of ingenuity, lets get into their abilities and style!!

When talking about her style I'd divide it into looks and communication. All of her looks are SPECTACULAR. So proper, so high femme, so classy, so glam... She is into projecting a carefully curated image. I respect that in a demon, really. Even when in Hell, her form is only changed by the teeth: lots of them, and quite ferocious. I feel that the mix represents her in full: a prim and proper exterior with a wild interior.

The wild interior can be inferred from her communication style. Shax usually exaggerates Hell menace and power, as we can see with some of her phrases:

"disliked by Heaven, hunted and eliminated by Hell";

"Beelzebub is not happy with you",

"All the forces of Hell will declare war to your friend"

"legions of demons to storm the bookshop, killing everyone",

“we’ll make it in ferocity and dangerosity”,

"we’ll chase you" to Beelzebub…

She has even “formulated a plan”, a very violent, enormous, ridiculous overplayed plan, but she is so excited to see it into fruition. Most of these are empty threats (Beelzebub is never really angry at Crowley, and they downplay the menace of being chased with the fact that they are understaffed...) but it says a lot of things about how Shax sees herself and the role of Hell in all of this.

Shax has an interesting power: she seems to voice the negative talk anyone has to mock them. This was very evident with Maggie:

Don’t embarrass yourself in front of the woman you pathetically love.

You are nothing, you run a shop that nobody visits.

You are nobody.

Unable to pay the rent.

Dull.

Unloved and unlovable.

You’ll live and die a nobody.

Those are scary! I have a little theory about how each character has different powers (it is a longer text and I'm just writing this because I already had it almost done), and this Shax's power is fantastic. Have we noticed what she says to Aziraphale?

You are not Crowley's type (he confidently dismisses this on their first encounter, with just a raised eyebrow)

You are an outlaw, you have no protection

Crowley’s emotional support angel

The softest touch

The one who went native

you need more huge meals?

Should we send up the sous-chef (not sushi)?

There is a really insightful demonic ability at play in there.

I also found really funny how, without Crowley giving her advice about how to appear, she just appears THREE TIMES in front of Aziraphale and still make the “I’m just a stranded motorist hitchhiking”. She hasn’t still get how Earth works, and that makes her fun AND terrifying.

How will all of this play into S3? Especially now that she will probably be a Grand Duke of Hell (or just a Duke). I'm already enjoying it and it hasn't been written yet! *covers her eyes*

[haithhegimp]

Hi! How are you?(*^▽^)/★*☆♪

5, 10 and 20 for the meta asks?

hi lizzie!! im not doing the best right now but the ask makes me feel better <3 <3 (meta asks)

5 - What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

definitely jason todd. i have a lot of things that i enjoy projecting onto him and interpreting him with, and honestly apart from the fact that it's he's simply my fave right now, the reason he's so easy and fun for me to write is because i find it very easy to understand and empathise with many of the things that happen to him. obviously my life is not even a fraction as bad as his, but there are a lot of things that i can convert in my head.

10 - How would you describe your writing process?

a mess lol. i don't have any specific way of writing something, but generally for the shorter works i have an idea and then i'll just put it to paper (to google doc?) straight away. and for the longer works, i'll make an "outline" that is really just a bunch of vague bullet points of things that i'd like to happen and then start writing. planning and plotting are by far my least favourite aspects of writing and i think it shows quite a lot haha.

20 - Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

oh GOSH. i have SO much that i want to rant about i think it'd be better to make dedicated posts for them, but ill go through the thing i've wanted to rant about for AGES. the seventh chapter of Call Me!! (i'll put a cut here cus this will get Long lol, i put So Much into this chapter i'm very proud of it) (you don't have to read the rest of the fic to really understand the 7th chapter so i'd be suuuper happy if you read it. no problem if you dont tho!)

(not sure if i'll mention All of these, but warnings from the chapter itself: Heavy Angst, Hallucinations, Grief/Mourning, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vomiting, Suicidal Thoughts, Suggestions of Suicide, Self Harm, Minor Derealisation, Minor Body Horror, Semi-Graphic Descriptions of Injuries, Bit of Blood)

ok so there are three main things i want to rant about here: hallucijason, the repeated motifs in the chapter, and the callbacks (and setups for callbacks) to other chapters

i talked a bit about hallucijason in the actual author's notes of the fic, and i think it's a pretty good overview of what i was going for.

i tried my best to show his hallucinations as being a combination of guilt complex, survivors guilt and missing/grieving jason- creating the weird sometimes accurate, sometimes nice, sometimes horrible (a reflection + enablement of self-hatred and self-destructive tendencies/thoughts!) hallucijason.

hallucijason, throughout the chapter, goes back and forth between comforting dick and trying to keep him happy and safe versus basically telling him to kill himself.

dick feels guilty and responsible for jason's death, as if he should have prevented it somehow-- and hallucijason enforces that belief, quietly, by constantly reminding dick of jason's death and what jason went through prior to his death:

His little brother was sitting on the kitchen stool, dressed in Robin regalia, but his limbs were bent at jagged angles, his skin was charred, his body was torn open everywhere.

"Oh, Dickiebird,” Jason gave him a wry smile, and horrible bruises began blossoming on his face, on his neck, on his hands. They grew, and grew, rotting him in fast-motion. His smile had gone cruel and yellow, his eyes had started bleeding, “It hurt so much worse.”

“But it doesn’t really matter what I would’ve wanted anymore, does it?”

and then compounding on that it takes dick's guilt at being alive when his brother is dead, and tells him that he deserves to be dead too:

“You could join me, it wouldn’t be that hard.”

It smiled, and It looked so much like his brother, and it told him, Then die.

and then of course, the moments where hallucijason is nice and sweet are more of dick grieving jason in how he genuinely used to be, and subconciously trying to have him back.

moving on, repeated motifs in this chapter! the big three are: the dripping blood (plus destroyed robin suit), the religious imagery, and jason's smiles.

the dripping blood is the most explicit of the three, and while it doesn't have one specific meaning, it is generally a constant reminder of dick's "failures" and the fact that his brother is hurt and gone. combined with the destroyed robin suit putting the blame on dick for passing down the robin legacy at all, for letting jason get hurt in the suit.

jason's smiles are constantly used as a comparison between him as he was, as he is remembered, and as hallucijason is.

Jason gave him a wry smile ... His smile had gone cruel and yellow,

Then his mouth twisted into a vicious smirk.

hallucijason's smile being described in a way that directly contrasts jason's characterization in this fic

His face was set in the mischievous grin that Dick had burned into his memory,

the mural of jason celebrating the memory of how he really was

His brother beamed, and spoke teasingly,

hallucijason emulating what jason was like

and ESPECIALLY these last three

It smiled, and It looked so much like his brother when it did.  His brother had told him, Be careful , Don’t get hurt , I love you. It smiled, and It looked so much like his brother when it did. But it couldn’t be him. His brother would never say such things.  It smiled, and It looked so much like his brother, and it told him, Then die.

dream!hallucijason's words and actions (that are something jason would never say/do) being directly contrasted with looking exactly like jason (but with no actual description of what the smile is like)

The hallucination smiled. It looked nothing like Jason.

hallucijason's smile irl being Not Like Jason + dick finally directly acknowledging that it's a hallucination (but! with no actual description of what the smile is like!!)

It smiled, and it looked nothing like Jason. It was a smile of pity.

where we finally get that last description of hallucijason's smile, and it isn't cruel or intentionally hurtful. (dick finally being at least a little kind to himself)

and then! relgious imagery. this one is more of just something i tend to put into all of my works because i think it can be very powerful and symbolic, but i generally don't focus on because it's not the explicit vibe that i want. same goes here-- dick doesn't necessarily worship jason or treat him in a religious manner, but there is a connection to be made between how dick treats jason's memory as something he cannot defy or let go of no matter what.

And then he stayed longer, on his knees with his hands clasped, suffocating on memories. 

A massive mural of Robin spanned the side of a building, it seemed to light up the whole area. His face was set in the mischievous grin that Dick had burned into his memory, his cape was flowing behind him like a pair of wings, his curly hair was crowned by a halo. 

But he fell to his knees and let out a guttural scream, sobbing and wailing without a care of who could hear, who could see. 

He’d gone to Pim’s pizza shop that night, shaking in her arms and begging– to her, to Jason, to the memory of all that Jason lived in honour of– for forgiveness.

Dick kneeled at Jason’s grave, his tears and Jason’s blood, echoing together, drip, drip, drip. He didn’t bother asking for forgiveness, he didn’t deserve any.

whoof alright i think thats it. it is a LOT and im a-ok with it if you dont read, im just very very happy i got the chance to ramble about it at all. thank you sooooo much for the ask and i hope you have a wonderful day!!! <3 <3 <3

[hexcrystals]

This is probably gonna be quite incoherent so bear with me lol. I see that your askbox has become a place to rant (and this one isn’t even gonna be about izzy!! But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!! Sorry in advance!!)

Anyway it’s been a relief to see other people in the fandom whose least favourite episode this season was ep 6. I always felt almost?? Mean for not liking it as much as everyone else seems to?? (and it’s not even that I dislike it!! It’s just my least favourite!) cause I feel like there was just too much going on for a single episode, everything went by too fast.

Anyway this isn’t about that it’s about ep 7 which most people seem to dislike. And I understand where people are coming from when they say that, I didn’t like it very much the first time I saw it! but after rewatching it yesterday for the first time since it aired I actually gained a lot of appreciation for it! I love the start and getting to see Stede and Ed be all domestic together!! (I’m a sucker for that shit) And I actually really love their fight too, just cause it shows us how much Stede understands Ed! He immediately notices that Ed is panicking and he responds so patiently even after being told that Ed thinks their night together was a mistake. Yes they said some hurtful things to each other but somehow I think that’s the least important part of that scene, at least to me. And it annoyed me when people kept painting Stede as the one in the wrong in their fight!! (Imo neither of them were in the wrong but that’s just personal opinion)

Where was I going with this? Basically I feel kinda alone in not liking ep 6 as much as everyone else and I think ep 7 is kinda under appreciated. Ahdgags I hope that made sense I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts towards media.

Screaming in your askbox cause I don’t wanna get too involved in the fandom myself cause it scares me lol. Thanks for posting good takes tho as always :) it helps me feel a little more sane

no i agree, ep6 is definitely one of my least favourite episodes (covered this a bit in my last ask). i didn't HATE it but it seems to do really well in polls about 'which ep is your favourite' and i just. do not vibe with it in the way that a lot of people do

and i agree that ep7 is underrated and i think that's bc it's objectively not a very feelgood episode and even though djenks had confirmed they'd end up together at the end, when it aired i saw loads of people worrying that they wouldn't get a happy ending at the end of s2, which i think has coloured people's perceptions of it

it's not a bad episode. it's a great episode tbh! we get their breakfast in bed (with twine for flourish) and 'hehe we didn't pay' and stede's newfound fame and his earring and zheng being really cool and frenchie and the gang getting their grift on and everybody's new favourite dearly departed side character steak knife (fly high with the angels king)

the argument itself is also really well written and feels so real (which definitely contributes to why so many people felt some kind of way about it) and manages to cover a bunch of irl relationship issues while still feeling right in the context of them being ye olde pirates - it's a beautiful realistic depiction of poor communication between people who love each other but not themselves and it gave me brainworms so i wrote a meta about it

but yeah overall the Main Event in ep7 is stede and ed arguing and ed leaving, so i get why a lot of people dislike it (or at least like it less than the other episodes) given that from ep3 onwards every episode has a big positive edstede moment (mermaid scene in ep3, 'i love everything about you' in ep4, 'you wear fine things well' and their kiss in ep5, being protective of each other and having sex for the first time in ep6, and obvs two beach kisses and 'i love you. i love you' and moving into their inn in ep8) (i nearly cried writing that out if you were wondering whether or not i'm normal about them)

[fire-fira]

writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last ten posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by: @bannedbookreader

(Note: I'm skipping over headcanon/meta/reality outlines and the Atlantean dictionary I have posted and focusing only on fics for this.)

The Spear-Verse (Character Studies & Extras) He is their leader, both nominally and in fact, but his leadership is a relaxed one.

The Name That Calls You Home The youngest was buried under a mountain of blankets. Did Yoshi even own that many blankets?

Spear-Verse Scraps Ignoring the wind that seemed determined to throw her hair in her face, Sassy tossed her hair over her shoulder before aiming an amused look at Leonardo. “You know you’re not going to talk me out of this, right?”

They Knew They knew. Lori and Blubber might have always known, at least as soon as they got to know La’gaan: he was an orphan.

An Equal And Opposite Reaction “Why did you do that?” It was a fair question, in all honesty. It wasn’t exactly like it was normal practice to walk into a room to see one’s teammate stapling a jellyfish beanie baby to a coffee table. With an industrial-grade staple-gun no less.

Mosaic Shards Falling Into Place The first time La’gaan met Eddie, the pyrokinetic immediately set him on edge.

An Island, Adrift “Son-of-a-ba’athu-kest!” La’gaan roared as he punched the barrier. The pearlescent not-quite-transparent barrier rippled, but like the last ten-or-so things they’d tried to break through, it did nothing.

Steamed Kisegra Eddie was fit, fast, and flexible— all things La’gaan was aware of due to their various sparring sessions and working together out in the field.

A Sea-Rose By Any Other Name If there was one thing Eddie could never get enough of, it was getting to touch La’gaan, to get up close and personal so he could see the varying shades of the green of his scales, to feel the sleek silkiness over toned muscle under his hands in one direction and the slight rasp if his hands went against the way La’gaan’s scales laid.

Ripples In Fire And Sea It had been a long day, and as Eddie approached the pier he stretched his arms up over his head.

And I'm tagging: @radioactive-earthshine, @sounddrive, @brightlotusmoon, @linzerj, @windona, @parvumautomaton, @captainlordauditor, @scarabaebutch, @hookahpop, @valpoet. (And anyone else who wants to do this.)

[kingxlionhartmoved]

🪀 How do OOC posts make you feel? Do they affect your IC writing or flow, to know other muns better?

💡Do you get ideas from reading meta/headcanons/bios, or do those only pop up as you write?

💌 Have you ever hit it off with a mun right away? What were they like? How fast do you think it takes to warm up to new people?

💋 Are you silly ooc? Casual? Chatty? Do you prefer or enjoy things like small talk, when not rping?

🩵 Do you have any apparent flaws when it comes to RPing/interacting? Be gentle with yourself!

🪀i do not mind OOC posts at all! it gives me a good grasp on the other folks im interacting with, and i make quite a bit myself. i'm kind of very anxious so i just like. use other's ooc posts as an excuse to interact.

💡 it depends! some things pop up as i write and speculate on the character i'm working on, but sometimes things are influenced by meta/headcanon posts. even though my blogs don't really follow canon, there's still the elements there

💌yes!! a few times in this fandom, but a lot when i wrote just ocs!! anyone who is willing to put up with me is just delightful. i have some folks i talk with on discord now, and some we just immediately went to discord to talk. i'm a very anxious person. i struggle in social situations because of past experiences, so i have a hard time talking with people ooc. i warm up to people quickly, though! i'm just Nervous.

💋all of it. once you talk to me ooc its over. i shitpost, i get talkative, i talk about anything. talk to me long enough and i'll show you my non muse art/pictures of my pets. love small talk.

🩵where do i begin. too talkative, too chatty ooc, very annoying. very much like dealing with me is like dealing with a golden retriever. sometimes i take forever to answer asks/do replies, or i hyperfixate on one specific thread. understanding the material but ignnoring it all to do what sounds more fun.

[cryberpunkart]

Castio Ingellvar

1: Where in Thedas is your Rook from? His parents are from Nevarra City. I didn't think too hard about his life pre-Mourn Watch so it's random.

2: What is your character's alignment? Chaotic neutral. Cas does things for the greater good, but it's a bit fast and loose.

3: Race and subclass? Human mage.

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found? The music room, and he'd be humming all the time.

5: What emotion did they usually pick? Mostly the cheery and polite icons.

6: What companion are you platonically close with? Taash, unexpectedly. But he gets on with everyone.

7: Romantically close with? Emmrich.

8: Who are they suspicious of? He liked Lucanis, but is low-key scared of him.

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction? Yes! He adores the Watchers and is one to his core.

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments? No, but he is a very amateur opera singer.

11: Weapon of choice? Mageknife and necrotic damage.

12: What is their orientation? Asexual biromantic.

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it? He's just trying to survive, if he can avoid it, he would like to, but times are tough.

14: What hobbies does your Rook have? Music, reading, theatre. He loves a good debate, he's probably part of the Lighthouse book club.

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike? He loves Vorgoth and Manfred, but who doesn't? I think he gets along with Strife well, and Antoine (Evka scared him but he respects her) but he and Tarquin despise each other.

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas? Assan counts, right? Otherwise he's a snake boy in every universe I write him into. Snakes all the time.

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer? I think he likes to revisit the Necropolis a lot, but yes, he loves exploring and learning.

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric? The Thedas equivalent of a paranormal investigator, or amateur theatre.

19: How do you think they'll meet their end? Are you kidding? He's gunning for lichdom.

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him? He'd rather do neither, but if he can't talk Solas around, he'd fight.

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability? Corrupted Ground.

22: What languages is your character fluent in? Just the common tongue.

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis? Decompress alone, with his nose in a book, after checking in on everyone.

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife? In the sense of the wisps and the Fade being a sort of life beyond death, yeah. For himself? No, lichdom!

25: What specialization best represents your Rook? I obviously went down the Mourn Watch specialisation. The character has always been a necromancer, I originally played him in D&D 5e.

26: What animal best represents your Rook? A snake. His favourites are hognoses but he's a ball python.

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard? Quite simple, I think he was hiding in Minrathous, probably taking odd jobs ridding homes of spirits for a fair price.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader? He didn't want to lead, but he took to it well enough. He considers them all to lead in their area of expertise, though.

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why? Hmm, that's actually a good question. Probably the Shadow Dragons? They have good morals and he was already hanging about in Minrathous!

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook? Cas is a character I've had for a long time now. In-game I love how his Ult looks, the mage combat flows so prettily. In a meta sense, this character creator is the closest I've ever managed to making Castio 3d, so I love that.

Zinc Laidir

1: Where in the Thedas is your Rook from? There's a brief conversation with Taash where he mentioned being a Tevinter galley slave, so I think Zinc is a city elf from Seheron.

2: What is your character's alignment? The same as a labrador puppy.

3: Race and subclass? Elf warrior.

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found? He'd move location every time, this man is hyper.

5: What emotion did they usually pick? Mostly the cheery/jokey one, but whenever there's a chance for the sad one, I went with that. Emotional boy.

6: What companion are you platonically close with? Taash, Harding and Davrin. He and Taash had trans solidarity, Harding is his bestie, and he and Davrin arm wrestle on the regular.

7: Romantically close with? The queen herself, Neve. But poor Bellara tried.

8: Who are they suspicious of? He's not too sure how to take Emmrich. He likes him, and he respects his magic, but worries about being told off, Emmrich is very Dad to him.

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction? Yes and no. Isabella finds him frustrating, I think she was probably waiting for a chance to get him gone. They're like siblings who get along better with space between visits.

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments? Ohhhh yes. Zinc is a musician in his original conception, so he definitely plays the Elven guitar in his chamber.

11: Weapon of choice? Warhammer, specifically the brute hammer.

12: What is their orientation? Queer. Zinc has no labels, doesn't want them, doesn't care. He's a trans guy who likes hot people. You could call him pansexual but he wouldn't call himself that.

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it? Avoid as much as possible.

14: What hobbies does your Rook have? Music, but probably also card games, casual gambling stuff with the other Lords and the companions.

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike? I think he and Rana get chatty, and I bet he's flirted with Theia. He doesn't dislike anyone, but he did punch the First Warden. So yeah.

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas? He'd have a pet nug if he could, but he's also pet every damn dog and cat in Dock Town.

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer? Of course! For gold and glory!

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric? Bothering Isabella more.

19: How do you think they'll meet their end? Doing something stupid.

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him? Fight.

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability? For Gold and Glory (I swear it's called that, the big leaping hammer smash).

22: What languages is your character fluent in? Elven, common.

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis? When the adrenaline leaves, he cries. Zinc cries a lot.

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife? Nah, but he's okay with that. Again, he knows the Fad exists, he knows spirits exist, but he thinks they have no memory of their life, so there's not really a knowable beyond for living beings.

25: What specialization best represents your Rook? I went with Slayer, because Lords of Fortune, but none of the others suited.

26: What animal best represents your Rook? A friendly puppy, or a speedy hare or something.

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard? A bit chaotic, but also simple. He listened to Isabella and did as he was told.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader? He is, but in a more... Glue way. He's keeping everyone together and happy and sane as best he can.

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why? Maybe the Wardens. He wouldn't read the fine print about the Calling and how much being a Warden sucks, he'd just sign up to be a hero.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook? He's the mascot for this account, but make him a little elf. :3 Also doing all the silly dialogue options feels appropriate, which makes it fun.

Rook Questionnaire

inspired by @cassieuncaged's BG3 Character Development Questions but for Rook instead!

1: Where in the Thedas is your Rook from?

2: What is your character's alignment?

3: Race and subclass?

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found?

5: What emotion did they usually pick?

6: What companion are you platonically close with?

7: Romantically close with?

8: Who are they suspicious of?

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction?

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

11: Weapon of choice?

12: What is their orientation?

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

14: What hobbies does your Rook have?

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas?

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric?

19: How do you think they'll meet their end?

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him?

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability?

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis?

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife?

25: What specialization best represents your Rook?

26: What animal best represents your Rook?

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard?

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why?

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook?

[unlucky-rose]

Okay started watching the musical. Thoughts so far are...

I really like the Byakuya, Monokuma, and Fuyuhiko actors. They're killing it. There are also good jokes, but I fear plot is being sacrificed for jokes? Which makes me sad, cause they have three hours and so far there's been a lot of jokes while the plot moves by too quickly imo

Teruteru said like 3 lines in total. Which, is good in some respect, but there's no emotional weight to him dying. Like idc that he dies. Even in the game, I was sympathetic cause he wanted to see his mom, even with all the weird stuff he said before that. In the musical, most of his lines were about kebabs... his entire time in the musical was as a joke, really

And then there's Nagito. Ofc I gotta talk about him. I like the choice they made for his voice and his awkward vibe. But the trial went by too fast. There was no real betrayal. Rahh. Idk. Maybe being too hard as a long time dr2 fan. When in game Nagito talks about hope, he monologues. And he didn't, really. And I didn't quite get the obsessed vibe that comes with his hope rants. Though tbf, the person playing him knew nothing about him before he got cast so. Idk. It could've been a writing thing of not understanding what Nagito means by hope. That could be fair cause that stuff is confusing unless you've studied him a lot. Also, there's a push for komahina stuff. It might be a taste thing, but in the musical, they talked twice before the trial. And idk how that warrants ship talk from the characters unless they're being meta. Meta jokes and references are nice, but I'd like to see the chemistry the characters talking about? Might be me. I'm very picky with komahina, sorry 😔

It's not done, so hopefully, it gets better- and there's definitely parts I like about it, like monokuma's song and lines! Also, Byakuya's song! Maybe I should change my expectations, and maybe it's meant to be a meta comedy? Only time will tell, really :P

[apexart-journal]

Julio Cesar Williams in Siem Reap, Day #7

After spending the morning journaling, I stopped by a cafe on the way Meta’s bookshop. We worked on my second lesson in Khmer. We focused on simple phrases that would help me to navigate the city and inquire about things, and began learning consonants. The letters were beautiful and I excited to start making sense of the world around me.

Unlike English and most romance languages, it is written on a few different levels. So vowels can be on the top or bottom or even in front or after a consonant. These modifiers create a whole new visually appearing letter, and so it can be quite daunting and little unfamiliar to Western speakers. By the end of our lesson however I felt confident and could even write a few words including my own name. 

After our lesson I was so excited about the project I sat and watched a few Youtube videos about the consonants and their pronunciation to really get my letters sharp and accurate. 

My brain was swimming when I went for a nice run around Siem Reap River. The river is quite long and zooms all the way up to the East Baray roughly 40 miles away. It was nice to just clear my mind and all along the way on both sides where people were building platforms and hanging lanterns in preparation for the celebration that was fast approaching. 

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

finally put together my answers for ficwip’s 2024 in review questions! idk why i took so long, did i think i was gonna get another fic posted in 2024? well, maybe.

How many fics have you worked on since January? now that is hard to answer. do we count two sentence snippets that have yet to meaningfully go anywhere? just stories that got titles, or placeholder titles? ehhh, i’m gonna split the difference. fourteen 911 fics (one posted), twenty-three one piece fics (ten posted), one mob psycho 100 fic.

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? i’ve joked about this too many times to count, but it’s only funny because it’s true: actually writing a make out scene instead of fading to black.

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.) *looks up at #1* uh, yeah, one piece and the clown pirate-adjacent parts of that series in particular.

How many fandoms did you write for this year? three; i poked at some wips from past years, but the mp100 one is the only one i made real progress on. everything else was new this year.

What ships captured your heart? 🤡🍶 and 🚒🚁

What characters captured your heart? 🤡 and 🚁, though their partners were never far from my mind.

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year? yeah, i had paid absolutely zero attention to 911 fandom before i caught wind of the bisexual realization storyline in april.

What fic meant the most to you to write? i know i’ve kissed you before, but i didn’t do it right—the second-longest thing i’ve ever written, and in writing it i wrote the story i’d been wanting to read (more or less) since my interest in shuggy first hit. it was a ton of fun to write and got me talking to a lot of fantastic, enthusiastic buggy fans here on tumblr.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? something blue. very easy to write, fast to write, fun to write, and also fun to edit to the word count i wanted. (four parts exactly 500 words, one part 25 words, and one part 1,000 words.)

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? i know i’ve kissed you before. it took forever and a day to get that last part done, but those last few paragraphs were so satisfying to get down on paper.

What fic was the most difficult to write? home (the gilded lily remix). the fic it was a remix of had so much visual symbolism built in that i wanted to parallel, but including it without being obvious about it was a struggle. that final visual was a last minute addition to the fic that i think really made it, and before i figured that out i was stressed about how incomplete things felt.

What fic was the easiest to write? [angry clown noises], no question. ask box fic gets written when the fic is easier to write than the equivalent meta, and this one just rolled out of me.

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year? well, longest is obviously i know i’ve kissed you before, at a bit under 35,000 words. shortest turns out to be inferiority “complex?” i find it quite simple at about 350 words, a silly little bit of young celestial dragon!shanks ask box fic.

What were your go-to writing songs? i don’t really listen to music while writing—lyrics tend to distract me—but as far as inspiration goes, i gotta go with mitski’s pink in the night. title inspo for two or three fics this year!

What was the hardest fic to title? i went back and forth on half a dozen options for the parenthetical part of home—i’m a traditionalist when it comes to titling remixes, i gotta have a “the x remix” parenthetical in there. i knew i was switching the title from “house” to “home,” but i could not decide how best to indicate what this fic was focusing on. something about gender? suppressed rage? suppressed despair? eventually i decided to go with the concept of a gilded lily: a beautiful living thing given excessive adornment that will ultimately kill it.

What's your favorite title of the year? i think charm/offensive is a pretty decent piece of wordplay titling (my favorite kind). there’s the concept of a charm offensive (using your charm to get what you want), and the fact that shanks is both charming and offensive to buggy over the course of this short fic.

Share your favorite opening line this is more a favorite opening/ending pair, because i think very neatly sums up the whole point of something blue in two sentences: “You should come with me.” “I never was any good at saying no to you and meaning it.”

Share your favorite ending line not particularly fancy writing, but as a conclusion to the arc buggy went through during i know i’ve kissed you before i think this line is very effective: Over his shoulder, he promised, “Until next time, Red-Hair!”

Share your favorite piece of dialogue ooh, hard to pick! i think i have to go with this bit from the end of something blue: “I’m pretty sure I’d remember if I asked you to marry me before.” Buggy rolled his eyes more emphatically. “Not literally the same question, dumbass. But you’ve always been asking me to be with you, ever since that first day.”

Share your funniest line ugh, what is humor? have i ever written anything funny? suddenly i don’t know. i guess the end of [angry clown noises]: Shanks gives Beckman an intent look, a bright flush high in his cheeks. “Yes literally.” After a moment, Beckman puts it together. He buries his head in his hands. “Oh my god.”

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? i didn’t know if i know i’ve kissed you before!buggy was actually going to sleep with shanks until i got to the scene where he talked it through with galdino. that didn’t meaningfully change the ending of the fic, but it made it a lot easier for them to have the sad topics conversation that i had vaguely intended to get to before buggy left the ship.

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand? scrivener my beloved!! it’s so nice to be able to write without wifi and have confidence that what i’ve written is safe. i have so many blank notebooks in my life, i really should write more by hand, but my thoughts move so much faster than i can handwrite that i lose track of where i am in the scene and my motivation gets snuffed out. once, my phone died while i was waiting to meet with my aunt for lunch, and i was bored enough that i went into a barnes & nobles, bought a tiny notebook and a tiny pen, and wrote five or ten pages of fluff set sometime in the future of clash of the four emperors, but that’s all i handwrote this year iirc.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? finishing i know i’ve kissed you before, no question.

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? i feel like i must have, but i can’t remember the specifics. :/ i think i might’ve treated myself to a nice dinner after i know i’ve kissed you before was done?

How did you recharge between fics? with great difficulty, lmao. seriously, though? reading well-regarded published fiction. highlights from this year include sabriel, leguin’s earthsea trilogy, and clive barker’s short stories. reading short stories in particular is a great way to get me thinking about style, in a way that feels less mean than reading mediocre fic and thinking, “oh, i wouldn’t have done that, i’d’ve worded that sentence this way to get this effect.” when i catch myself reading fic like that, i know it’s time to get some original fiction in me.

Did you create fanworks other than fic? mm, technically yes? i record myself reading fics on occasion, a very unpolished kind of podfic, but i haven’t published podfic in a decade, i wouldn’t know how to do it anymore.

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!) two, if i remember correctly. the @op-fanwork-exchange and their summer remix. both a fun time!

If this were an awards show, who would you thank? my sister for her occasional occupation as my beta reader and/or vent receptacle alpha reader and @midydoof, my constant collaborator and inspiration. 💜

What's left on your to-do list for 2024? *blows raspberry*

What would you like to write next year? where do i start? shuggy bodyswap, [redacted] for mids, this bucktommy angstfest, at least one other thing teased during my birthday countdown back in july… and, of course, the fic tentatively titled guess i’m a coward (i just want to feel alright). shanks pov has to stop feeling like pulling teeth eventually, right?

[sweetearthandnorthernsky]

Oh boy. This one. Is long.

Most of the characters mentioned here can be found within portions of my OC-tober collections [found here, with varying levels of canonicity], or within the over arching fics I'm writing for the LOTRO main storyline. They can also be found under this tag. But, without further ado, first up, we've got:

Saelinriel!

She's my captain and first lotro guy, so is very special to me.

She's a captain from Gondor, which given the fact that the Man intro drops you in Archet, Bree-land means I had to do some wild ass convolution to make her story make sense.

(Her parents sent her and her sister to Bree to stay with family as they're the youngest two siblings, and she is old enough now to decide she wants to go back actually).

She's the OC who gets most of the epic so.... she's traumatized <3.

Originally, she's from Dol Amroth, though her family moved to Minas Tirith when she was 6 but her grandparents stayed so there was a lot of bouncing back and forth between Dol Amroth & Minas Tirith.

She loves the ocean & swimming & sailing and she wears a clear blue gem (called a Sailor's Stone) on a necklace for luck.

Her birthday is on March 1st. (I forgot Aragorn's bday was march 1st until someone asked me if that was on purpose. I think it's funny though, so it stayed.)

She fucking hates Gothmordirith. (But also meta-wise is a lowkey foil/mirror.)

She's got a younger sibling dynamic with a lot of the Rangers in the Grey Company.

She's got... so many fics, actually. Including but not limited to: renewed shall be blade that was broken, the stars are all burning, OC-tober oneshots, and the main "These Days That Bind" fics which are all her pov.

Her tag.

Morinel!

High Elf Rune-keeper! She's the daughter of Caranthir & Netyare Calandil. She was born very briefly (10-15 years) before the Dagor Bragollach, so everything was great for a bit and then everything got bad REALLY fast.

Her mother name is Istafinwe/Isfin, which.... she doesn't use very much during the war of wrath/early second age because That's A Political Implication she simply doesn't feel like making at the moment.

Her craft is a weaver/embroiderer. (There are absolutely no Ancestral Weights TM about this, nope, no sir.)

She also was a counselor in Lindon for a while because one of her hyper fixations was architecture.

Goes into genuine fight-or-flight when around holly trees :).

She also has... a lot of fics: into darkness falls a star, one day and then another to the sea, featured very heavily in the oneshots for oc-tober, and featured quite a bit in These Days That Bind.

Her tag.

Adallinda Burrows

Hobbit burg! Because there must be at least One TM.

She's a baker by trade, and carries rolling pins with her everywhere.

She happened to be out for a walk when things went a little crazy, and she ended up in Archet alongside Saelinriel, Strider, and Amdir.

Pretty cheery. Her mom was a Brandybuck, and she lives near the Buckleberry Ferry.

I am also working on her solo fics (mainly further adventures of bilbo baggins adjacent), but she's featured in oc-tobers and "These Days That Bind".

The first song on her playlist is "Flaming Red Hair" from the LOTR soundtrack.

Her tag.

Lorindol

High Elf Hunter!

He's from a pretty minor noble family in Tirion. His big sister wanted to go to middle earth and he followed her.

He ends up in Gondolin, in the House of the Swallow, mostly just vibing.

Very much golden retriever energy.

His tag.

Celebros

A minstrel-warden multiclass from Nargothrond.

(Yeah I know multiclassing isn't a thing in lotro just let me live okay).

They were fairly young when they crossed the Helcaraxe with Finrod & the Arafinweans.

They were originally a ranger of Nargothrond, who sung as a hobby/for fun, but then started Learning For Serious.

But then Finrod died and they were like. I physically cannot do this without being violently ill, so they became a warden.

Their tag.

Idhrin Celebril

My Elf Hunter! She's from Lothlorien, and her family was from Doriath.

She has a handful of older siblings who vaguely exist, but have no real traits attached to them just yet.

She's a part of the Golden Host when they launch for Mirkwood.

She and Morinel argue a bit.

She was learning to be a lore-master in Edhelion when Talagan died and she nope'd out of it pretty hard.

She's a little bit snobby but that's okay, we love her for it.

I've been working on her solo fics for so goddamn long and yet nothing to show for it-- However, she is featured quite a bit in OC-tobers & "These Days That Bind".

Her tag.

Heledir

Human Warden! He's fairly new, so no fics or anything yet.

He's one of the Dunedain from Evendim. He's not a babyranger but he's still pretty fresh. He's been rangering for like 3-5 years, I think.

Somehow, he gets involved in the Before the Shadow Questline with Adanel (Sae's sister).

His tag.

Rómenel

The oc I made for BBOM!

She's a captain-in-training for the last alliance, and is just doing her goddamn best when she gets pulled into All Of That.

She has a couple fics in OC-tobers, and will eventually be in These Days That Bind.

Her tag.

Lotro OC Introduction Reblog Game!

Get your guys out there! People want to know about your OCs but don't know where to start, so this is an opportunity to introduce them to lotro tumblr!

Reblog this post with a list of your lotro OCs, give us a name/race/class and a little about them! Such as where they're from and some neat facts about them/their story. You can also link to your favorite fics featuring them if you'd like so people know where they can start reading!

[thesquidkid]

Who says science isn't exciting?

4x04 Dear Mama

Hi, and welcome back to my science meta! I'm actually writing this merely a few hours after watching the finale, and I haven't gotten a chance to rewatch any of season 4. So this might get updated in the future as I intend to rewatch the entire show to give you the best science breakdown possible!

Anyway, this is not about the finale, it's about 4x04 and science. Hence I will ignore all my feelings about this episode, and focus on my favourite thing in the world: science!

So buckle your seat-belts, deconnect all your braincells, and prepare yourself to dive into some alien made-up science!

(Content warning for this meta, I talk about squids a lot, because as you can see from my username, I like that animal)

We start up with a dialogue between Isobel and Liz:

Isobel: "All right, uh, Dr. Dyson, why don't you tell me about this, uh, alien ectoplasm, hmm?"

Liz: "Oh, I prefer the term "goo," but it's technically epidermal tissue. Mm-hmm."

The ectoplasm is the outer layer of a cell's cytoplasm. The ectoplasm is usually of an elastic texture.

The cytoplasm is the all of the material in an eukaryotic cell, enclosed by the cell membrane, excluding the cell nucleus.

Euraryotic cells are cells whose nucleus is enclosed by a nuclear envelope.

The cell nucleus is what contains all of the cell's genome (all genetic information of an organism).

So, the thing is, what we see on screen looks like skin that has been shed. Which is not what ectoplasm is. And I really don't know why Isobel would mention that. I guess one could theorise that after spending many hours around people (Liz and Kyle) who talk about biology, one would absorb some of that vocabulary.

However, Liz indeed corrects her, by saying something scientifically correct! Skin is indeed epidermal tissue.

Epidermal tissue is the outmost cell layer of the primary plant body. So, really, humans are plants and therefore the outer layer of skin, since our skin is composed of 3 layers, one of which is called the epidermis (corresponding to the outer layer), which is an other word for epidermal tissue.

I know this is a weird thing to be proud of, but the fact that they used correct terms (as far as I know) is pretty cool. Just afterwards, Liz mentions the third helix and hence it is definitely alien. Which, personally, I didn't need to look at it under a microscope to tell. The skin sample glowed. Human skin, as far as I know, doesn't do that.

But, better be safe than sorry. It's always good to check your results, and give background to the results that were obtained.

***

The next science is something that kinda confused me at first, and then seemed to make some sense. Liz seems to be walking around the desert with a metal detector (spectrometer). And she says:

"Yeah. I rigged it so that it would locate the alien tech component in alien biology. I mean, at least I hope I did."

A spectrometer is a scientific instrument used to separate and measure spectral (over a spectrum) components of a physical phenomenon.

There are light spectrometers, that can separate white light (visible light) and measure the individual bands of colour that compose the light (called a spectrum). There are mass spectrometers which measure the different masses of the atoms or molecules in a gas.

There are other types of spectrometers, like a magnetic one, which is what I had initially assumes Liz had used, but turns out a magnetic spectrometer requires very specific conditions.

Then, I decided to look further into mass spectrometer. It appears that it would work on solids rather than just on gasses. We then can conclude that Liz probably used a mass spectrometer, and tweaked it so that it would "detect" the change in mass between alien DNA (which contains a third helix, which I'm guessing must affect it's mass), from the rest of the desert.

Well, she does find an odd change in mass, in, you know, a truck buried under sand. Very normal, of course.

***

Liz saying "For the first time in forever, the science doesn't make any sense to me." really really describes my constant state watching that show

***

Liz and Kyle science!

Liz: "Kyle. What if the alien cells aren't dead? What if they are only playing dead? Like an octopus does when it-it's scared and it turns into coral."

Kyle: "You're talking chromatophores."

Octopuses (I had to google the plural of octopus, and I'm just going with what google answered) wan indeed turn into coral! It's fascinating to see (here's a youtube video for you). Squids can also change their colour (which I can actually talk about a lot, I have done extensive research on squids 😅😂).

Squids and octopuses have cells called chromatophores that have the particularity of changing colour. These cells are situated just below the the surface of the skin, which is thin enough to show the colour of these cells.

Chromatophores basically work by having a center that is elastic and contains a certain colour. The elasticity means that when it stretches out, the coulour would appear brighter, and hence give the illusion of changing colour (since then the colours seems more visible). This elastic center, like a little pouch, is controlled by nerves and muscles. These cells are found in a large number, in varying sizes. Hence, it can create a full camouflage. Thing of it like pointillism, a painting made of thousands of little dots of different colour.

To go back to the alien science, basically the alien cells taken from the skin sample have the same property than squids and octopuses. I guess you could say, that I, squid kid, am an alien. (Sorry, I had to, I have been saving this from the moment I watched the episode. It is my moment to shine).

By introducing the sample from the blue eyes, it is like saying "hey don't be afraid, I'm a friend", and the squid/octopus basically reverts to their "original form".

(Moral of the story: don't scare me. I'll turn into coral 😂)

(Side note, but this is one of the reasons thesquidkid is my url)

***

I could talk about Tezca and Jones' body. But I genuinely have no idea what is going on, and I don't even want to know. However, I am always happy to talk theories and ideas!

***

This is the end of the meta for this episode! It took me most of the day ngl. I was writing in during the breaks in my lectures, because I was so excited to finally talk about how cool squids are 😂

I don't really know when I'll upload the next one, but I'll keep doing them episode by episode, instead of all in one post. I did that for the first three seasons and that was not a great idea for my sanity. You have no idea how stressful it is to write a full meta all on tumblr drafts. I was so scared it would crash and I'd lose everything. I guess I like to live dangerously 😂

[chaoticgeminate]

Kinktober - Day Four

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @ the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: Semi-public teasing, Javi with leather gloves, emotional vulnerability, implied history with violence/abuse, very low on the smut and heavy on the softness. I CANNOT DO SMUT WITHOUT EMOTIONS I'M SORRY ;-;

Breath Play (1.9k)

After a filling brunch of things like egg benedict with Iberico ham, A5 wagyu steak and eggs, and a lentil vegan dish that just blew you away all four of you went to Ramón and Eleana’s hotel where you signed two sets of your books and did an Instagram shout out to Nina. Javi waved off their concerns over the cost of brunch, that he paid for, and you realized the Ritz was chosen because Javi wanted to treat them to something nice and not because that was what they were used to.

When you both got back in the convertible Javi slipped his gloves back on and your whore brain absolutely sat up and took notice, he made sure that it was slow and deliberate enough that your focus was solely on the way the leather dragged across his skin, and your tongue darted out to wet your lips.

“I guess we can say you do have a glove kink then?” His question snapped you out of the ideas running through your head, his remark about ruining those gloves still echoing, and you had to drag your eyes away from where he gripped the steering wheel to meet his gaze.

“Looks like it.” Your voice came out breathy, the tone making Javi’s pupils expand before he slipped his shades on, and you half expected him to speed back to the house. But Javi surprised you by taking you closer to the shore, pulling down a stretch of road that was empty before turning off the main road and down an inclined road closer to the water, and the area of beach was devoid of anyone. No tourists, no people wandering around, just sand and water and high rocky cliffs to block the view of the street.

“Are you okay with this?” His question made you realize exactly what he was thinking to do, that he wanted you here, and while there was part of you that was definitely not okay at the idea of someone snapping pictures or recording you if you were caught… it was also kind of exciting. You managed to nod, whispering out a yes, before Javi was getting out of the car and you did the same. He tugged you against his body so he was perched on the hood with you facing the shore, you realized that in doing so it’d be almost impossible for anyone to see what you were up to unless they were out in the water.

Even then the deeper water for the ships was so far out that it was unlikely you’d get caught.

“You knew about this place already?”

“Not personally, I just know a few of my cousins have brought people here. I know it is not quite day four, Solecita, but I changed my mind during brunch. Tomorrow will be a day of resting, because I want you more than ready for me the day after.” You shivered at the implication, since the day five prompts were seared into your brain and that was the only valid reason he could have to want a rest, and the fact that he was even going to have a break day wasn’t as disappointing as you thought.

Javi was definitely a service lover but he was also voracious, now that he had you like this he was proving to have an insatiable appetite for your pleasure, and your boyfriend had already confessed he’d held himself back so much in the past because he was nervous of how fast he had been falling for you despite a good portion of your relationship being long distance. The fact that he’d been holding back was both exciting and intimidating.

Did you want him to rail you frequently and without hesitation? Yes, of course you did, you’d be stupid to want anything less.

But the emotional aspect of his intimacy was -as he said- nerve wracking; you’d been falling fast too and the idea of losing him hurt too much already.

“I cannot tell if you’re distracted out of excitement over my intent to fuck you full repeatedly in two days or if there’s something else going on in your head, Solecita.” Javi was using one hand to cup your cheek and turn your face to look at you, his other arm banded around your body to hold you in place, and you felt that worry that you were going to scare him if you told him how deep your feelings for him ran already.

“It’s both. I- even without the sex I’m really attached to you, I know most of our relationship has been long distance so it might seem like it’s too fast and I just don’t want you to find a reason to walk away from me-“

“Solecita, I have held myself back from telling you that I love you since the day you and I spent at your apartment after our fourth date was rained out. When you laughed at how we were drenched from the downpour and heated up soup from a tin in your microwave which we drank in mugs and told me that a little disaster was just the fate’s way of spicing things up.” You remembered his confused and mildly horrified expression when you’d whipped out your rainy day staple, canned soup in a mug was only good when it was rainy or there was heaps of snow, and yet he’d still stayed and ended up tangled in the blankets on your couch kissing you for hours.

“You love me?”

“Sí, I love you so much, I was just worried it was too soon.”

“No Javi, it’s not, I love you too.”

His mouth sealed over yours the moment the words escaped you and you whined when Javi let go of your waist to run his hand under your skirt and up, the drag of the leather against your skin making you shiver. The feeling of his fingertips gliding from your cheek to your neck made you stiffen a little but you leaned more against him and tipped your head in a way that exposed more of your neck to him.

“What’s your word, Solecita, and what do you do if you cannot speak?”

Oh shit.

You swallowed thickly as his whisper was breathed into your skin, making you shiver as you ran your tongue against the back of your teeth to ground yourself.

“Taffy and Brittle, my words are taffy to slow and brittle to stop, and if I can’t speak you want me to tap your thigh. Once to ease up, twice to check in, and three times for hard stop.” Why you chose candies you couldn’t remember as Javi purred a soft ‘good girl’ in your ear and pressed his gloved fingertips to the front of your underwear before his hand settled lightly on your neck without pressure.

Your hips jumped at the contact and Javi used his foot to kick your legs wider, gently enough to avoid hurting you but hard enough to make sure you knew it wasn’t a suggestion. You didn’t really know what to do with your hands, they were currently reaching behind you and gripping the leather belt he was wearing like a vice, and your boyfriend nipped at your ear gently with a soft moan as you rocked back against him.

“My beautiful Solecita, to have your love… I am the luckiest man. Your beauty captivated me but your ability to weave words and create stories that I could see as clear as if they were a film left me needing to know you.”

While you certainly knew you had a praise kink it was the fact that he wasn’t even talking about anything sexual and you were still getting turned on that had your head spinning, the softness of it making your heart squeeze even as his fingers circled your covered clit. A low moan from you made the grip on your throat tighten just a little, to remind you he was there, and your hips jerked against him.

“Javi-“

“Hold your skirt up for me, Solecita, I want to see.”

Your hands were trembling as you moved them to raise the front of your skirt and hold it, feeling the way Javi’s cock twitched and hearing his low moan in your ear, and he rewarded you by sliding his hand into your underwear; the leather was smooth and warm and as Javi slipped two fingers into your wet pussy he tightened his hold on your neck to smother your moan. He wasn’t squeezing hard, you could still talk if you had to, but the fact that it was even a little more difficult to draw breath than normal made everything feel different.

Even the tension in the air felt different.

The soft choked noise you made sounded so loud.

Hyperaware of the hand on your throat, of the sensation of his fingers gliding in and out of your wet channel, the creak of the leather when his hold loosened and the pounding in your chest as your body began to draw in full oxygen again. It was an overwhelming feeling and you couldn’t decide how you felt about it, but Javi’s grip loosened further and you shivered when he pressed his forehead against the back of your shoulder but you knew something was wrong. The strange tension wasn’t gone, even though he’d loosened his hold, there was something almost rigid in the way Javi was holding himself now.

You didn’t like it.

“Javi?”

“Hush- Solecita, you’re doing so well.”

“Taffy.” Javi’s hand stopped moving and you let the skirt of your dress fall in order to take the hand resting near your collar and grip it in both of yours. Javi’s breathing was harsh and you realized he was shaking a little, something had rattled him and you couldn’t help but scan the horizon before listening just in case you weren’t as secluded as you thought.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like that, the choking, I- the trust you have in me makes me so conflicted but I don’t like it. Violence and pain has always lingered in the background of my life, I do not really wish to bring that near you.”

Javi’s open admission that he wasn’t feeling it made you reach one hand back to stroke his hair gently, his openness about why he didn’t like it was more than he even needed to say.

“Okay, then we mark that off as a hard no. Why don’t we go back to the house then? I want to thank you for being so good to me.” Javi made a small sound before lifting his head and pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, not fighting you as you pulled his hand out of your underwear, the wet sound of it making both of you shiver but Javi needed your support and care.

Sex wasn’t the most important part of this for you, his comfort and trust was.

“Thank you, Solecita, I’m sorry I can’t-“

“No, don’t apologize, we already said there was no judgement as to why we did or didn’t like things we tried.”

He stopped arguing with you and even let you drive back, his hand holding yours tightly the entire ride. This was going to have to be a bigger conversation but not right now, he was too raw right now, and you decided that you’d initiate a break day of your own since that was more important to you than a list.

Javi had done so much for you, the least you could do was give him the emotional support he needed and deserved.

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[derkastellan]

Musings: Good luck finding adventure modules!

I originally come from two corners regarding roleplaying, the German The Dark Eye system as it existed in its 1e and 2e incarnations, and playing AD&D fantasy computer games. This built an expectation into me that ready-made playing material would always be available, an expectation I find increasingly thwarted in today's RPG market.

The Dark Eye - I'll use the German acronym DSA going forward to ease discussion - is one of the most well-supported RPGs in the history of the tabletop RPGs. It features hundreds of adventure modules tuned for a certain range of levels, so you can basically pick up one, read it, and run it. It's probably the most well-supported system in general, brimming with setting books, books covering meta-plot development (after it had one), etc. This is not only a good thing, though...

One time I joined a local group, playing through a pre-made adventure campaign. Not only was it impossible to leave the rails (when I tried the obstacles quickly mounted as the GM had achieved her "goal" for the scene), and people actually started to discuss, while playing, where they were in the current meta-plot right now and somebody went to the long line of books on a nearby shelf, pulled one out, and delivered some meta-plot regional info so everybody was on the same page. They basically knew the outline of the story they were playing, going through pre-made motions, having played this before, or read it. I don't know. But it definitely was one of the most bizarre experiences I ever had playing, and I left after two sessions. So, yeah, you can support a game until it stifles all initiative in players, and this has progressed well with DSA, no doubt, making it a rather extreme example.

The other experience were the games now known as Gold Box series. Built mostly on the original Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 1st edition (1e) game for its engine, the publisher brought a good amount of content for several of D&D's worlds - the Forgotten Realms, Dragonlance, and - to some extent - Dark Sun. A lot of it was combat, but even the first game, "Pool of Radiance", included an amazing system of scaling the challenge and it even changed some of its quest areas depending on when in the game you tackled them. (I'm not sure any other game at the time did that, it probably was very revolutionary in 1988.) Only the first two installments (the other one being "Curse of the Azure Bonds") saw release as TTRPG modules.

D&D is of course the other system with a history of being supported by adventure modules, lavishly so during the TSR era (up to the mid-90s). Which is funny - apparently nobody at TSR initially anticipated such a need. When people kept asking, they ended up releasing their tournament modules as write-ups. That goes a long way towards explaining why the "Tomb of Horrors" is such a meat grinder. It was meant to be one - for measuring one's mettle against other groups which ran through the same module, the end result being put into a score for comparison. In this sense, modules in D&D were off to a bad start as well, and maybe D&D altogether. Born from miniatures wargames it took quite a while until the game introduced resolution mechanics for non-combat stuff, and it is still one of most combat-heavy games around. I remember one 4e player asking me whether I found Savage Worlds too light-weight in tactical options, a game that was specifically written to shorten the endless high level combat encounters of the Deadlands Classic role-playing game while retaining the action elements. (And one I prefer - both in what to run and over 4e.)

Fast forward to today

So, growing up with such systems, I would have expected there to be an ever-expanding amount of support for games. I mean, given the grumpy mumbling of old-school grognards on their forums on kids these days and their premade adventure modules and "stories" you would think we would drown in play material ready to go.

But if I look at what's actually on my shelf, the reality is quite inverse. The recent/current systems I see that actually had significant publisher support are

D&D 5e,

Dungeon Crawl Classics (DCC),

Lamentation of the Flame Princess (LotFP),

the three Star Wars RPGs by Fantasy Flight Games,

Chaosium's Call of Cthulhu,

Pelgrane Press' GUMSHOE games (especially Trail of Cthulhu and Night's Black Agents),

Modiphiüs' Conan 2d20 and Achtung! Cthulhu,

Delta Green, and

The One Ring.

This seems a sizable list, but when I look at most games lined up behind me, I see the majority follow a different structure:

A core rulebook if it has its own system, and/or...

A setting guide, and maybe...

A companion to the core rulebook with more player options, and probably...

One or (at most) two adventure collections.

Many games in fact never make it beyond a book comprising options 1 and 2 in the same volume.

A (not so) short detour

I was reminded of this situation recently because I'm currently reading the Dragon AGE RPG by Green Ronin. As I prepare for play in a world I only somewhat remember from the first computer games, I would have appreciated some adventure modules to run or take inspiration from.

But to be fair - do I need it? One role modules play is that they give you many example encounters you can emulate. They show you how somebody with experience in the system structures a combat encounter, how many monsters is a good match, maybe it also introduces custom monsters as well. (It also shows how stories derive from the general lore of the setting.)

So I checked what the rulebook offers me in terms of advice for building encounters and monsters on my own. And this is usually where most systems that aren't D&D fall flat because you get shoddy or incomplete advice, or advice that barely works. (Looking at you, Shadow of the Demon Lord... even though you at least had some. I just don't like you, that's all.)

So, don't color me surprised that the hefty 441 page tome contains only 2 pages on encounter math, though to be fair it gives you a good guide to computing it yourself and some solid pointers. But it also comes from yet another game designer too lazy to distill their own work into a ready-to-use format. I say lazy because it would definitely require a lot of work to make something lean and mean to use. (And even 5e's system - or two systems - refined by several people, doesn't work that well, really.) But you can use it, even though presentation is prose without examples. A shoddy job, but something you can work with.

And monster design? [Insert sound of sad trombone here.] While you get almost fifty pages of adversaries and quickly usable advice how to vary them, you won't find any actual guidelines for making your own and assigning a threat level to them. Just to be sure, I also checked in the Fantasy AGE game which generalizes the system. I eventually found the needed information in the Fantasy AGE Campaign Builder's Guide, a solid 10 pages with a guided example. But to put this into context - the first Dragon AGE boxed set was published 2010, the Fantasy AGE Basic Rules in 2015, and the guide I mentioned in 2019! So, you had to wait 9 years to get this info, published in what technically is another game? What gives, Green Ronin?

So yeah, modules can help. And again Dragon AGE does neither really good or bad on that front. What they mostly don't do is publish individual modules. Here's what I found:

The Dalish Curse (originally part of Set 1, now a free download, 2010)

An Arl's Ransom (included in the Quickstart, free download, 2011)

A Bann Too Many (included in the Game Master's Kit, 2010)

Buried Pasts (included in the revised GM's Kit, 2016)

Invisible Chains (contained in the Core Rulebook, 2015)

The Autumn Falls (originally part of Set 2, now included in Core Rulebook, 2011)

Battle's Edge (originally part of Set 3, now included in Core Rulebook, 2012)

Amber Rage (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

Where Eagles Lair (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

A Fragile Web (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

Duty Unto Death (an actual stand-alone module! 2013)

That's basically it. To put it into context - the game was originally split into Set 1 (levels 1-5), Set 2 (levels 6-10), and Set 3 (levels 11-20). So adventures 1, 6, and 7 were originally included in three different sets to buy. All adventures listed here are for levels 1-5 except for 6 and 7!! When the game came out, you essentially had four adventures you could run if you bought Set 1 and the anthology.

What you basically don't see is a continued support with stand-alone modules. You get them from buying the GM's Kits, the core books, and a multi-adventure anthology. I would also be fine if they ever released another anthology. But this is basically what Green Ronin does - or rather, what they don't do. (Fantasy AGE barely managed to scrape out a book per year until you finally had the basic set of books - rules, monsters, companion, campaign building.)

Reflecting our current reality

If you want to get material for pickup games, episodic stuff, isolated storylines, you are better off selecting your publisher and game to match that desire.

Some publishers only give tacit support to their product after release, while others keep pushing product. If you look for publishers who actually support (some of) their lines, you could check these out (in no particular order):

Modiphiüs (especially Achtung! Cthulhu and Star Trek Adventures)

Paizo (Pathfinder is probably the RPG with the most content to support it available to buy in print and heavily dedicated to the concept of the "adventure path")

Son of Oak Game Studio (City of Mist is probably one of the best-supported newer games!)

Chaosium (Call of Cthulhu has an endless amount of modules if you don't mind most of them being in electronic form now)

Pelgrane Press (Trail of Cthulhu has lots of modules and collection books, Night's Black Agents less but still some and especially collections/campaigns)

Goodman Games (Dungeon Crawl Classics and Mutant Crawl Classics specialize in releasing lots of modules)

Arc Dream Publishing (Delta Green has many adventure and campaign books by now)

Monte Cook Games (Numenera especially had a steady stream of material, not necessarily as modules, though)

Wizards of the Coast (D&D 5e has whole campaigns published but also a few adventure collections by now)

Pinnacle Entertainment (but only for their Deadlands series)

There's also publishers that have proven a risky bet in this regard (which is a shame given the quality of the content):

Green Ronin (slow release schedule, and of course: see above)

Pinnacle again (it's hard to predict which of their settings they will support and for how long - East Texas University (ETU) for example seems to have seen support, other series get nothing after their initial Kickstarter/crowdfunding, it's rather unpredictable - it's safest to expect nothing else to come after)

Atlas Games (Over the Edge has many modules - but only if you consider the old editions. Not much surrounding their new editions of existing games. You basically can expect that anything they release to center around their core books now and not much to come after - with Ars Magica being the positive exception)

[EDIT:] I originally listed Free League Publishing here. I was incorrect about this. Having checked their website I noticed that they issued new material for several of their games, and lots of modules of their own, even if only in PDF. They're just not pushing everything to Kickstarter nor do they mail previous backers with new releases like other publishers do. Maybe because these weren't crowdfounded. Doesn't matter. I retract Free League from this list.

I'm not trying to diss these companies, I wish they had published more stuff! It's just that their business model does not seem to include a large amount of continued support, in spite of them being surely in the middle tier of publishers. And that doesn't even include the many games that exist as core books only and their respective publishers.

A New Hope?

However, there is one more option - the companies that have opened up to third party publishing - either as content creator programs, as official licensees, or similar things. The degree to which you can use their official IP varies - sometimes you can use their rules, sometimes some or all of their settings, etc.

A good place to start is here.

The problem, of course, is that you won't know who makes quality content and who doesn't. Whether you opt to wade through the deluge of 5e third party content or the official Dungeon Masters Guild, you will probably find something to strike your fancy, but also much that is best left by the wayside.

While I have published 2 1/2 modules as a licensee for Goodman Games as well, I see this type of content as trial and error. If it's "fan made," it's often very hit-and-miss. And each third party publisher has their own merit or lack thereof.

What I definitely didn't miss was the endless amount of 3e splatbooks (especially regarding character options) - and they're back in force. What you will find in abundance are dubious custom-made classes for every taste (or again, lack thereof) with no guarantee they balance well with anything. As for adventures, the only way to know is reading samples and sinking some money into PDFs you might never use. Probably the fate of most RPG collections, though...

While publisher-made content isn't a guarantee for quality, professionals paid to write usually bring some qualities to the table that amateurs might or might not have. Your mileage may vary, but a book adhering to an established formatting and branding is not only useful, but more often than not also aesthetically pleasing. And though high-quality fan- and third-party-made content does definitely exist, the art is in finding it among the throng.

Conclusion

If you don't intend to write all your content yourself, picking a supported system might save you a lot of headache.

Even if you write your own content, you might want to consider if your system actually supports you meaningfully in doing so. Books that wax poetic for pages on end about story structure will leave you flat if they do not also contain usable advice for building encounters, adversaries, or challenges considering the system at hand. (Worst offender here: Pinnacle Entertainment. Savage Worlds is great, but they give you nothing except for a few words excusing themselves as to why they gave you nothing. For shame.)

We seem to live in an age of role-playing game abundance, but if you take a second look, you notice a lot of it are unsupported games that see a corebook release and a second volume to accompany it at best. Publishers that massively support their games are few and far between - though my list above is hardly comprehensive. I, for example, left out White Wolf/Onyx Path in spite of the lots of material because I know too little about the World of Darkness lines to comment.

It's just like with finding players. Sometimes you end up running something that isn't your favorite because it gets the job done - whether the job is finding actual people wanting to play it or if it is minimizing your prep time through available material. The scarcity of prep time is something publishers ignore at their own peril, though, and it will come back to bite some of them eventually.

[hiccstridshipper19]

Oh wow what an answer! I love that you put all this time and thought into it. I'm really glad this gave you the opportunity to write and process your thoughts on something so emotional, so absolutely do NOT apologize for taking all the space you need.

Similarly, I also binged the whole season in one day (actually half of season 1 and then season 2, I tried to not binge but it's just not my style) and finished at almost 2 am. I was so in shock I did not sleep.

I see a lot of people defending Aziraphale saying he doesn't deserve hate, but I actually have not seen anyone directing hate at him. Honestly, it never once occurred to me that any of this isn't how it should be. I felt that it was tragically beautiful, hitting the most rightfully painful spot of how angst comes. I'm not sure if this makes sense, maybe I'm just too much of an angst enjoyer 😅 When the ending was approaching and things started going south, I knew there isn't enough time left in the episode for a reconciliation scene (unless we have another episode or something, which there isn't). And even though my head was screaming "NOOOONONONOOONOO", somewhere in the back of my mind I was also like, "yeah, it just HAS to be this way. Of course it does."

Anyway, I also took to the internet immediately after and got scrolling, reading every meta post I can find. It took me a bit of time to settle back down from my state of internally-shrieking-24/7, and I'm only just starting to feel my brain return. I agree with a lot of the posts I'm reading explaining the whole situation. Honestly, these people put it into words better than I ever could. They reminded me of all the little bits and moments where I picked up something not quite smooth in Aziraphale and Crowley's dynamic, but didn't have the time to give it space while binge watching (I really should give not-binging a try shouldn't I? It all went by so fast that I didn't get to savor the experience of each episode and its own sort of Feel. Having seen the finale, I will never be able to take my mind off of it again whenever thinking about the other parts, whereas if I'd given myself time to breathe between each episode, I could've had more chances to enjoy the happy stuff before the finale inevitably puts a whole twist on it all).

It was very easy for me to understand why Aziraphale would choose heaven, since he's always been, at least verbally, fiercely on that side, which he believes to be fundamentally good. He seems to have never stopped denying being away from the side of heaven/goodness. I've seen several posts going in-depth about the different philosophies Crowley and Aziraphale have regarding the system and what their solution to all this should be, and you did a wonderful job as well sorting out how the two perceives each other and their relationship. These are all really good points and very well put discussions. For me myself, I can very much relate to Aziraphale here, the struggle of still choosing to align with something despite clearly knowing it isn't all good, simply because there are some parts that are still believed to be salvageable, and that others are just not seeing those bits. Yes there are flaws and there are toxic people around, but steer clear of those people and we'll be fine! So it makes total sense to me that of course Aziraphale would take up the offering to fix things, since "I must do good and be righteous" is at his core, and what he believes to be also at the core of heaven's operations.

Now I am a bit hung up on the part where Aziraphale originally was not going to accept the proposition unless he can be with Crowley, but Crowley isn't going, and Aziraphale went ahead with it anyway. Yeah I'm not really seeing that. Perhaps it's just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing because he was so upset, and he almost, ALMOST, stayed.

So that's where I'm at for now, 48 hours into recovery. I can't say I'm normal yet, and I don't know how long, if ever, when I will be again. I'm just gonna have to live with it until it becomes the new normal. I'm not usually the type to write meta-analyses, so I'm not sure if any of this is actually good input. Yours or anyone's further discussion is always welcomed! Would love to message about this as well. I do hope we can all tough through this and live to see season 3, whenever that is. I think I'm at an okay place with all the logic behind the storyline, it's just all So. Damn. Emotional, and that's the main part I'm grappling with.

And yeah, Neil really got the jump on us calling it "quiet, gentle, and romantic". 🖕(affectionate)

Hiya! I've been following your blog for a while and can't help but notice that we share at least two fandoms. As a fellow suffering soul at the mercy of GO's season 2 finale, how are you doing?

First of all, know this ask made me smile and thank you so much for asking that. It's not every day in fandom life that we get a finale as heartbreaking and devastating as that and I love the people who have asked me how I'm doing about it. I love that this is a fandom where we're all supporting each other through all the heavy emotions.

I'm... I'm okay. Mostly. Probably. I think?

If you don't mind, I'm just genuinely gonna tell you how I feel about it. (Edit from the future, this got long, I'm so sorry lol) I went into this season expecting quiet, gentle, and romantic, and therefore, on that first watch-through, I was looking for quiet, gentle, and romantic. I didn't know what the season was going to be about other than that. I thought I was looking for the ways in which Crowley and Aziraphale were growing closer, and they did! But in that, I didn't know I was also supposed to be looking at the ways that they weren't communicating. I didn't know I was supposed to be looking at all the ways they clearly haven't healed from their traumas.

And so, when we got to that scene in the end, I was incredibly confused by Aziraphale. Crowley has always been my favorite character in this story, I relate to him most and I feel I always understand him. So I pretty quickly got his side of things. But Aziraphale... it just felt out of nowhere (and a little bit, it was. The Metatron really did just kinda show up and offer Az all of that) and it felt like I'd been betrayed a bit.

I thought Aziraphale had learned better about all of this at the end of season 1. That Crowley doesn't need to be an angel, he doesn't need to change. That Heaven is just as bad as Hell. That Heaven isn't exactly a system one person can just... fix. And for the first 5 episodes of this new season, I didn't recognize him struggling with any of this in the present day. He was happy and in love and he was okay with moving on.

And I was so confused why he was considering this, especially after seeing Crowley's reaction. And then after the kiss, Aziraphale still didn't really want to go to Heaven, he was gonna turn back. And he didn't because the Metatron rushed him. He went too fast. And I was so pained by it. Michael Sheen just ripped me apart with how he portrayed all the emotions Aziraphale was feeling. The microexpressions moved so fast it felt like I couldn't hold on to any one emotion any better than he could.

And so my heart was broken for Crowley, and I was confused and betrayed by Aziraphale. But I binged the entire season in one night, it was early morning when I finished it. I was tired, and I watched the season not actually knowing what I should have been looking for. And so I knew that it wasn't that Aziraphale was suddenly a bad character or something. I'm quite shocked by the people hating on Aziraphale's character. My first thought after I finished the season was literally, "I missed something. It's not Aziraphale's fault that I don't understand where that came from. I'm gonna have to rewatch this entire season when I'm more rested and watch it much slower. I'm gonna have to read all the meta written by people who still love and understand Aziraphale after this."

And that's what I did. I haven't rewatched the season yet, but I have been reading a lot of meta about Aziraphale's character written by people who genuinely seem to understand him. It highlighted a lot of things I'd missed the first time. The parallel between Lindsay and Nina and Heaven and Aziraphale. The fear that Aziraphale has been living in ever since Job, where he thinks he's crossed the line and deserves to fall. How his greatest temptation, in the eyes of Heaven, wasn't the food or giving away his sword, or lying. It was his relationship with Crowley.

I didn't realize how the purpose of the creation of the universe scene was that Aziraphale saw how happy Crowley was. And that he's willing to risk everything, his freedom and his beautiful life in the bookshop so that Crowley can be happy like that again. Because Aziraphale spent 6,000 years watching Crowley reject his own kind nature, his own impulse to do good, for the fear of Hell's punishment. It's not exactly that Aziraphale wants to change Crowley. It's that if Crowley was an angel, he could go back to freely being nice, and doing good. They could be together because there wouldn't be the threat of the Other Side coming for them and ripping them apart.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. He loves Crowley. But he is still scared of what Heaven thinks of it. Heaven still thinks that angels and demons can't be together because they're on opposite sides. And the powers greater than them who believe this will always try to rip them apart.

He just wants a better world for Crowley. He wants Crowley happy and safe. Is this the way to do it, no. I think Crowley is right that Aziraphale can't change Heaven. I think Crowley is probably scared out of his mind right now that Aziraphale is going back into the lion's den. Because Crowley watched for 6,000 years as Aziraphale was manipulated by Heaven, he saw how scared his angel was. And now he's going back under some misguided understanding that it'll be different this time.

I think that's what Crowley was thinking about in the car in the end credits. I think it was part "I can't believe he chose Heaven over me, because he wants to fix Heaven FOR me, the idiot." and part "He's gonna be manipulated again. And when he realizes it, he's gonna be so scared."

All Crowley wants in this world is for Aziraphale to be okay. Wants him to be free and safe. Free to eat whatever he wants without guilt. Free to do good because he wants to, not because he's had his orders. Free to dance with a demon. Free to be an us. Because he watched Aziraphle be scared of these things for millennia. He watched his angel think he deserved to be a demon for it. And he doesn't. And now Aziraphale's gone back to a place where there is no food, he won't have the opportunity to do clever good deeds in human's lives (he'll be running heaven), and Crowley simply can't follow him back there.

But then, I also believe the metas that have noticed that both plans are unsustainable. Aziraphale won't be able to change the system. And Crowley couldn't keep them running forever. They'll have to find the secret third option to be free to be together safely for eternity, and that's what season 3 is gonna be about.

So, to circle back to your question, I'm not okay lol. But I will be. I believe that this is one of the best stories ever told, and the more I understand Aziraphale and Crowley's characters, the more the ending makes sense, and the more intrigued I am about what else I might have missed that I'll need to rewatch to figure out. The kiss still breaks my heart, but I wouldn't change a thing about it because it makes sense and it played out perfectly for their situations and who they are. It's beautiful in a heartbreaking way.

And I do have a sense of peace about all of it. Even when I had just finished the episode, I knew it was all going to be okay because that divorce was literally about how much they love each other. Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. Neither of them have much experience with that. So Aziraphale struggles to accept it, and he's scared to show it back because what if it costs them everything. But Crowley doesn't struggle like that. He's been left behind on earth, for now. But I have no doubt that as soon as his angel needs him, he'll be there.

Aziraphale will probably say he's sorry. And Crowley's just gonna give him a hug, tell him he loves him, that he's not gonna say I forgive you because neither of them need forgiveness. Not anymore.

It actually feels really good having written all this out like this, I've not talked about good omens much, even though I've been reblogging a lot. I'd love to talk to you more about all of it, if you want. And of course, I want to ask you how are YOU doing? What are your thoughts on all of this? How are you holding up? My ask box and my messages are always open!