#so it went quite fast to write the meta

[santacoppelia]

There is something about Shax! (A loving meta)

I have written it too fast and in Spanish, but I really love what happened with demons and Hell in general this season: while in S1 they were kind of "set dressing" and the only distinctive demons were the higher ups, s2 brought us Shax and Furfur, and gave us more insight into Hell, gave Eric a lot of opportunities to charm us, and we saw a lot of small-scale demons that were all different in their own ways.

From all of these things, most of my notes point to Shax. The character is amazing, partly because Miranda Richardson is a great actress, but also because she has some characteristics that made her pop (I'll use female pronouns because the character is so high femme). I talked about some of them in the meta about angels, but Shax definitely deserves their own post! As I've already covered her particular mix of ingenuity, lets get into their abilities and style!!

When talking about her style I'd divide it into looks and communication. All of her looks are SPECTACULAR. So proper, so high femme, so classy, so glam... She is into projecting a carefully curated image. I respect that in a demon, really. Even when in Hell, her form is only changed by the teeth: lots of them, and quite ferocious. I feel that the mix represents her in full: a prim and proper exterior with a wild interior.

The wild interior can be inferred from her communication style. Shax usually exaggerates Hell menace and power, as we can see with some of her phrases:

"disliked by Heaven, hunted and eliminated by Hell";

"Beelzebub is not happy with you",

"All the forces of Hell will declare war to your friend"

"legions of demons to storm the bookshop, killing everyone",

“we’ll make it in ferocity and dangerosity”,

"we’ll chase you" to Beelzebub…

She has even “formulated a plan”, a very violent, enormous, ridiculous overplayed plan, but she is so excited to see it into fruition. Most of these are empty threats (Beelzebub is never really angry at Crowley, and they downplay the menace of being chased with the fact that they are understaffed...) but it says a lot of things about how Shax sees herself and the role of Hell in all of this.

Shax has an interesting power: she seems to voice the negative talk anyone has to mock them. This was very evident with Maggie:

Don’t embarrass yourself in front of the woman you pathetically love.

You are nothing, you run a shop that nobody visits.

You are nobody.

Unable to pay the rent.

Dull.

Unloved and unlovable.

You’ll live and die a nobody.

Those are scary! I have a little theory about how each character has different powers (it is a longer text and I'm just writing this because I already had it almost done), and this Shax's power is fantastic. Have we noticed what she says to Aziraphale?

You are not Crowley's type (he confidently dismisses this on their first encounter, with just a raised eyebrow)

You are an outlaw, you have no protection

Crowley’s emotional support angel

The softest touch

The one who went native

you need more huge meals?

Should we send up the sous-chef (not sushi)?

There is a really insightful demonic ability at play in there.

I also found really funny how, without Crowley giving her advice about how to appear, she just appears THREE TIMES in front of Aziraphale and still make the “I’m just a stranded motorist hitchhiking”. She hasn’t still get how Earth works, and that makes her fun AND terrifying.

How will all of this play into S3? Especially now that she will probably be a Grand Duke of Hell (or just a Duke). I'm already enjoying it and it hasn't been written yet! *covers her eyes*

[jaskierx]

This is probably gonna be quite incoherent so bear with me lol. I see that your askbox has become a place to rant (and this one isn’t even gonna be about izzy!! But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!! Sorry in advance!!)

Anyway it’s been a relief to see other people in the fandom whose least favourite episode this season was ep 6. I always felt almost?? Mean for not liking it as much as everyone else seems to?? (and it’s not even that I dislike it!! It’s just my least favourite!) cause I feel like there was just too much going on for a single episode, everything went by too fast.

Anyway this isn’t about that it’s about ep 7 which most people seem to dislike. And I understand where people are coming from when they say that, I didn’t like it very much the first time I saw it! but after rewatching it yesterday for the first time since it aired I actually gained a lot of appreciation for it! I love the start and getting to see Stede and Ed be all domestic together!! (I’m a sucker for that shit) And I actually really love their fight too, just cause it shows us how much Stede understands Ed! He immediately notices that Ed is panicking and he responds so patiently even after being told that Ed thinks their night together was a mistake. Yes they said some hurtful things to each other but somehow I think that’s the least important part of that scene, at least to me. And it annoyed me when people kept painting Stede as the one in the wrong in their fight!! (Imo neither of them were in the wrong but that’s just personal opinion)

Where was I going with this? Basically I feel kinda alone in not liking ep 6 as much as everyone else and I think ep 7 is kinda under appreciated. Ahdgags I hope that made sense I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts towards media.

Screaming in your askbox cause I don’t wanna get too involved in the fandom myself cause it scares me lol. Thanks for posting good takes tho as always :) it helps me feel a little more sane

no i agree, ep6 is definitely one of my least favourite episodes (covered this a bit in my last ask). i didn't HATE it but it seems to do really well in polls about 'which ep is your favourite' and i just. do not vibe with it in the way that a lot of people do

and i agree that ep7 is underrated and i think that's bc it's objectively not a very feelgood episode and even though djenks had confirmed they'd end up together at the end, when it aired i saw loads of people worrying that they wouldn't get a happy ending at the end of s2, which i think has coloured people's perceptions of it

it's not a bad episode. it's a great episode tbh! we get their breakfast in bed (with twine for flourish) and 'hehe we didn't pay' and stede's newfound fame and his earring and zheng being really cool and frenchie and the gang getting their grift on and everybody's new favourite dearly departed side character steak knife (fly high with the angels king)

the argument itself is also really well written and feels so real (which definitely contributes to why so many people felt some kind of way about it) and manages to cover a bunch of irl relationship issues while still feeling right in the context of them being ye olde pirates - it's a beautiful realistic depiction of poor communication between people who love each other but not themselves and it gave me brainworms so i wrote a meta about it

but yeah overall the Main Event in ep7 is stede and ed arguing and ed leaving, so i get why a lot of people dislike it (or at least like it less than the other episodes) given that from ep3 onwards every episode has a big positive edstede moment (mermaid scene in ep3, 'i love everything about you' in ep4, 'you wear fine things well' and their kiss in ep5, being protective of each other and having sex for the first time in ep6, and obvs two beach kisses and 'i love you. i love you' and moving into their inn in ep8) (i nearly cried writing that out if you were wondering whether or not i'm normal about them)

[whitexdove]

🪀 How do OOC posts make you feel? Do they affect your IC writing or flow, to know other muns better?

💡Do you get ideas from reading meta/headcanons/bios, or do those only pop up as you write?

💌 Have you ever hit it off with a mun right away? What were they like? How fast do you think it takes to warm up to new people?

💋 Are you silly ooc? Casual? Chatty? Do you prefer or enjoy things like small talk, when not rping?

🩵 Do you have any apparent flaws when it comes to RPing/interacting? Be gentle with yourself!

🪀i do not mind OOC posts at all! it gives me a good grasp on the other folks im interacting with, and i make quite a bit myself. i'm kind of very anxious so i just like. use other's ooc posts as an excuse to interact.

💡 it depends! some things pop up as i write and speculate on the character i'm working on, but sometimes things are influenced by meta/headcanon posts. even though my blogs don't really follow canon, there's still the elements there

💌yes!! a few times in this fandom, but a lot when i wrote just ocs!! anyone who is willing to put up with me is just delightful. i have some folks i talk with on discord now, and some we just immediately went to discord to talk. i'm a very anxious person. i struggle in social situations because of past experiences, so i have a hard time talking with people ooc. i warm up to people quickly, though! i'm just Nervous.

💋all of it. once you talk to me ooc its over. i shitpost, i get talkative, i talk about anything. talk to me long enough and i'll show you my non muse art/pictures of my pets. love small talk.

🩵where do i begin. too talkative, too chatty ooc, very annoying. very much like dealing with me is like dealing with a golden retriever. sometimes i take forever to answer asks/do replies, or i hyperfixate on one specific thread. understanding the material but ignnoring it all to do what sounds more fun.

[fire-fira]

writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last ten posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by: @bannedbookreader

(Note: I'm skipping over headcanon/meta/reality outlines and the Atlantean dictionary I have posted and focusing only on fics for this.)

The Spear-Verse (Character Studies & Extras) He is their leader, both nominally and in fact, but his leadership is a relaxed one.

The Name That Calls You Home The youngest was buried under a mountain of blankets. Did Yoshi even own that many blankets?

Spear-Verse Scraps Ignoring the wind that seemed determined to throw her hair in her face, Sassy tossed her hair over her shoulder before aiming an amused look at Leonardo. “You know you’re not going to talk me out of this, right?”

They Knew They knew. Lori and Blubber might have always known, at least as soon as they got to know La’gaan: he was an orphan.

An Equal And Opposite Reaction “Why did you do that?” It was a fair question, in all honesty. It wasn’t exactly like it was normal practice to walk into a room to see one’s teammate stapling a jellyfish beanie baby to a coffee table. With an industrial-grade staple-gun no less.

Mosaic Shards Falling Into Place The first time La’gaan met Eddie, the pyrokinetic immediately set him on edge.

An Island, Adrift “Son-of-a-ba’athu-kest!” La’gaan roared as he punched the barrier. The pearlescent not-quite-transparent barrier rippled, but like the last ten-or-so things they’d tried to break through, it did nothing.

Steamed Kisegra Eddie was fit, fast, and flexible— all things La’gaan was aware of due to their various sparring sessions and working together out in the field.

A Sea-Rose By Any Other Name If there was one thing Eddie could never get enough of, it was getting to touch La’gaan, to get up close and personal so he could see the varying shades of the green of his scales, to feel the sleek silkiness over toned muscle under his hands in one direction and the slight rasp if his hands went against the way La’gaan’s scales laid.

Ripples In Fire And Sea It had been a long day, and as Eddie approached the pier he stretched his arms up over his head.

And I'm tagging: @radioactive-earthshine, @sounddrive, @brightlotusmoon, @linzerj, @windona, @parvumautomaton, @captainlordauditor, @scarabaebutch, @hookahpop, @valpoet. (And anyone else who wants to do this.)

[derkastellan]

Musings: Good luck finding adventure modules!

I originally come from two corners regarding roleplaying, the German The Dark Eye system as it existed in its 1e and 2e incarnations, and playing AD&D fantasy computer games. This built an expectation into me that ready-made playing material would always be available, an expectation I find increasingly thwarted in today's RPG market.

The Dark Eye - I'll use the German acronym DSA going forward to ease discussion - is one of the most well-supported RPGs in the history of the tabletop RPGs. It features hundreds of adventure modules tuned for a certain range of levels, so you can basically pick up one, read it, and run it. It's probably the most well-supported system in general, brimming with setting books, books covering meta-plot development (after it had one), etc. This is not only a good thing, though...

One time I joined a local group, playing through a pre-made adventure campaign. Not only was it impossible to leave the rails (when I tried the obstacles quickly mounted as the GM had achieved her "goal" for the scene), and people actually started to discuss, while playing, where they were in the current meta-plot right now and somebody went to the long line of books on a nearby shelf, pulled one out, and delivered some meta-plot regional info so everybody was on the same page. They basically knew the outline of the story they were playing, going through pre-made motions, having played this before, or read it. I don't know. But it definitely was one of the most bizarre experiences I ever had playing, and I left after two sessions. So, yeah, you can support a game until it stifles all initiative in players, and this has progressed well with DSA, no doubt, making it a rather extreme example.

The other experience were the games now known as Gold Box series. Built mostly on the original Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 1st edition (1e) game for its engine, the publisher brought a good amount of content for several of D&D's worlds - the Forgotten Realms, Dragonlance, and - to some extent - Dark Sun. A lot of it was combat, but even the first game, "Pool of Radiance", included an amazing system of scaling the challenge and it even changed some of its quest areas depending on when in the game you tackled them. (I'm not sure any other game at the time did that, it probably was very revolutionary in 1988.) Only the first two installments (the other one being "Curse of the Azure Bonds") saw release as TTRPG modules.

D&D is of course the other system with a history of being supported by adventure modules, lavishly so during the TSR era (up to the mid-90s). Which is funny - apparently nobody at TSR initially anticipated such a need. When people kept asking, they ended up releasing their tournament modules as write-ups. That goes a long way towards explaining why the "Tomb of Horrors" is such a meat grinder. It was meant to be one - for measuring one's mettle against other groups which ran through the same module, the end result being put into a score for comparison. In this sense, modules in D&D were off to a bad start as well, and maybe D&D altogether. Born from miniatures wargames it took quite a while until the game introduced resolution mechanics for non-combat stuff, and it is still one of most combat-heavy games around. I remember one 4e player asking me whether I found Savage Worlds too light-weight in tactical options, a game that was specifically written to shorten the endless high level combat encounters of the Deadlands Classic role-playing game while retaining the action elements. (And one I prefer - both in what to run and over 4e.)

Fast forward to today

So, growing up with such systems, I would have expected there to be an ever-expanding amount of support for games. I mean, given the grumpy mumbling of old-school grognards on their forums on kids these days and their premade adventure modules and "stories" you would think we would drown in play material ready to go.

But if I look at what's actually on my shelf, the reality is quite inverse. The recent/current systems I see that actually had significant publisher support are

D&D 5e,

Dungeon Crawl Classics (DCC),

Lamentation of the Flame Princess (LotFP),

the three Star Wars RPGs by Fantasy Flight Games,

Chaosium's Call of Cthulhu,

Pelgrane Press' GUMSHOE games (especially Trail of Cthulhu and Night's Black Agents),

Modiphiüs' Conan 2d20 and Achtung! Cthulhu,

Delta Green, and

The One Ring.

This seems a sizable list, but when I look at most games lined up behind me, I see the majority follow a different structure:

A core rulebook if it has its own system, and/or...

A setting guide, and maybe...

A companion to the core rulebook with more player options, and probably...

One or (at most) two adventure collections.

Many games in fact never make it beyond a book comprising options 1 and 2 in the same volume.

A (not so) short detour

I was reminded of this situation recently because I'm currently reading the Dragon AGE RPG by Green Ronin. As I prepare for play in a world I only somewhat remember from the first computer games, I would have appreciated some adventure modules to run or take inspiration from.

But to be fair - do I need it? One role modules play is that they give you many example encounters you can emulate. They show you how somebody with experience in the system structures a combat encounter, how many monsters is a good match, maybe it also introduces custom monsters as well. (It also shows how stories derive from the general lore of the setting.)

So I checked what the rulebook offers me in terms of advice for building encounters and monsters on my own. And this is usually where most systems that aren't D&D fall flat because you get shoddy or incomplete advice, or advice that barely works. (Looking at you, Shadow of the Demon Lord... even though you at least had some. I just don't like you, that's all.)

So, don't color me surprised that the hefty 441 page tome contains only 2 pages on encounter math, though to be fair it gives you a good guide to computing it yourself and some solid pointers. But it also comes from yet another game designer too lazy to distill their own work into a ready-to-use format. I say lazy because it would definitely require a lot of work to make something lean and mean to use. (And even 5e's system - or two systems - refined by several people, doesn't work that well, really.) But you can use it, even though presentation is prose without examples. A shoddy job, but something you can work with.

And monster design? [Insert sound of sad trombone here.] While you get almost fifty pages of adversaries and quickly usable advice how to vary them, you won't find any actual guidelines for making your own and assigning a threat level to them. Just to be sure, I also checked in the Fantasy AGE game which generalizes the system. I eventually found the needed information in the Fantasy AGE Campaign Builder's Guide, a solid 10 pages with a guided example. But to put this into context - the first Dragon AGE boxed set was published 2010, the Fantasy AGE Basic Rules in 2015, and the guide I mentioned in 2019! So, you had to wait 9 years to get this info, published in what technically is another game? What gives, Green Ronin?

So yeah, modules can help. And again Dragon AGE does neither really good or bad on that front. What they mostly don't do is publish individual modules. Here's what I found:

The Dalish Curse (originally part of Set 1, now a free download, 2010)

An Arl's Ransom (included in the Quickstart, free download, 2011)

A Bann Too Many (included in the Game Master's Kit, 2010)

Buried Pasts (included in the revised GM's Kit, 2016)

Invisible Chains (contained in the Core Rulebook, 2015)

The Autumn Falls (originally part of Set 2, now included in Core Rulebook, 2011)

Battle's Edge (originally part of Set 3, now included in Core Rulebook, 2012)

Amber Rage (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

Where Eagles Lair (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

A Fragile Web (in the Blood in Ferelden adventure anthology, 2010)

Duty Unto Death (an actual stand-alone module! 2013)

That's basically it. To put it into context - the game was originally split into Set 1 (levels 1-5), Set 2 (levels 6-10), and Set 3 (levels 11-20). So adventures 1, 6, and 7 were originally included in three different sets to buy. All adventures listed here are for levels 1-5 except for 6 and 7!! When the game came out, you essentially had four adventures you could run if you bought Set 1 and the anthology.

What you basically don't see is a continued support with stand-alone modules. You get them from buying the GM's Kits, the core books, and a multi-adventure anthology. I would also be fine if they ever released another anthology. But this is basically what Green Ronin does - or rather, what they don't do. (Fantasy AGE barely managed to scrape out a book per year until you finally had the basic set of books - rules, monsters, companion, campaign building.)

Reflecting our current reality

If you want to get material for pickup games, episodic stuff, isolated storylines, you are better off selecting your publisher and game to match that desire.

Some publishers only give tacit support to their product after release, while others keep pushing product. If you look for publishers who actually support (some of) their lines, you could check these out (in no particular order):

Modiphiüs (especially Achtung! Cthulhu and Star Trek Adventures)

Paizo (Pathfinder is probably the RPG with the most content to support it available to buy in print and heavily dedicated to the concept of the "adventure path")

Son of Oak Game Studio (City of Mist is probably one of the best-supported newer games!)

Chaosium (Call of Cthulhu has an endless amount of modules if you don't mind most of them being in electronic form now)

Pelgrane Press (Trail of Cthulhu has lots of modules and collection books, Night's Black Agents less but still some and especially collections/campaigns)

Goodman Games (Dungeon Crawl Classics and Mutant Crawl Classics specialize in releasing lots of modules)

Arc Dream Publishing (Delta Green has many adventure and campaign books by now)

Monte Cook Games (Numenera especially had a steady stream of material, not necessarily as modules, though)

Wizards of the Coast (D&D 5e has whole campaigns published but also a few adventure collections by now)

Pinnacle Entertainment (but only for their Deadlands series)

There's also publishers that have proven a risky bet in this regard (which is a shame given the quality of the content):

Green Ronin (slow release schedule, and of course: see above)

Pinnacle again (it's hard to predict which of their settings they will support and for how long - East Texas University (ETU) for example seems to have seen support, other series get nothing after their initial Kickstarter/crowdfunding, it's rather unpredictable - it's safest to expect nothing else to come after)

Atlas Games (Over the Edge has many modules - but only if you consider the old editions. Not much surrounding their new editions of existing games. You basically can expect that anything they release to center around their core books now and not much to come after - with Ars Magica being the positive exception)

[EDIT:] I originally listed Free League Publishing here. I was incorrect about this. Having checked their website I noticed that they issued new material for several of their games, and lots of modules of their own, even if only in PDF. They're just not pushing everything to Kickstarter nor do they mail previous backers with new releases like other publishers do. Maybe because these weren't crowdfounded. Doesn't matter. I retract Free League from this list.

I'm not trying to diss these companies, I wish they had published more stuff! It's just that their business model does not seem to include a large amount of continued support, in spite of them being surely in the middle tier of publishers. And that doesn't even include the many games that exist as core books only and their respective publishers.

A New Hope?

However, there is one more option - the companies that have opened up to third party publishing - either as content creator programs, as official licensees, or similar things. The degree to which you can use their official IP varies - sometimes you can use their rules, sometimes some or all of their settings, etc.

A good place to start is here.

The problem, of course, is that you won't know who makes quality content and who doesn't. Whether you opt to wade through the deluge of 5e third party content or the official Dungeon Masters Guild, you will probably find something to strike your fancy, but also much that is best left by the wayside.

While I have published 2 1/2 modules as a licensee for Goodman Games as well, I see this type of content as trial and error. If it's "fan made," it's often very hit-and-miss. And each third party publisher has their own merit or lack thereof.

What I definitely didn't miss was the endless amount of 3e splatbooks (especially regarding character options) - and they're back in force. What you will find in abundance are dubious custom-made classes for every taste (or again, lack thereof) with no guarantee they balance well with anything. As for adventures, the only way to know is reading samples and sinking some money into PDFs you might never use. Probably the fate of most RPG collections, though...

While publisher-made content isn't a guarantee for quality, professionals paid to write usually bring some qualities to the table that amateurs might or might not have. Your mileage may vary, but a book adhering to an established formatting and branding is not only useful, but more often than not also aesthetically pleasing. And though high-quality fan- and third-party-made content does definitely exist, the art is in finding it among the throng.

Conclusion

If you don't intend to write all your content yourself, picking a supported system might save you a lot of headache.

Even if you write your own content, you might want to consider if your system actually supports you meaningfully in doing so. Books that wax poetic for pages on end about story structure will leave you flat if they do not also contain usable advice for building encounters, adversaries, or challenges considering the system at hand. (Worst offender here: Pinnacle Entertainment. Savage Worlds is great, but they give you nothing except for a few words excusing themselves as to why they gave you nothing. For shame.)

We seem to live in an age of role-playing game abundance, but if you take a second look, you notice a lot of it are unsupported games that see a corebook release and a second volume to accompany it at best. Publishers that massively support their games are few and far between - though my list above is hardly comprehensive. I, for example, left out White Wolf/Onyx Path in spite of the lots of material because I know too little about the World of Darkness lines to comment.

It's just like with finding players. Sometimes you end up running something that isn't your favorite because it gets the job done - whether the job is finding actual people wanting to play it or if it is minimizing your prep time through available material. The scarcity of prep time is something publishers ignore at their own peril, though, and it will come back to bite some of them eventually.

[hiccstridshipper19]

Oh wow what an answer! I love that you put all this time and thought into it. I'm really glad this gave you the opportunity to write and process your thoughts on something so emotional, so absolutely do NOT apologize for taking all the space you need.

Similarly, I also binged the whole season in one day (actually half of season 1 and then season 2, I tried to not binge but it's just not my style) and finished at almost 2 am. I was so in shock I did not sleep.

I see a lot of people defending Aziraphale saying he doesn't deserve hate, but I actually have not seen anyone directing hate at him. Honestly, it never once occurred to me that any of this isn't how it should be. I felt that it was tragically beautiful, hitting the most rightfully painful spot of how angst comes. I'm not sure if this makes sense, maybe I'm just too much of an angst enjoyer 😅 When the ending was approaching and things started going south, I knew there isn't enough time left in the episode for a reconciliation scene (unless we have another episode or something, which there isn't). And even though my head was screaming "NOOOONONONOOONOO", somewhere in the back of my mind I was also like, "yeah, it just HAS to be this way. Of course it does."

Anyway, I also took to the internet immediately after and got scrolling, reading every meta post I can find. It took me a bit of time to settle back down from my state of internally-shrieking-24/7, and I'm only just starting to feel my brain return. I agree with a lot of the posts I'm reading explaining the whole situation. Honestly, these people put it into words better than I ever could. They reminded me of all the little bits and moments where I picked up something not quite smooth in Aziraphale and Crowley's dynamic, but didn't have the time to give it space while binge watching (I really should give not-binging a try shouldn't I? It all went by so fast that I didn't get to savor the experience of each episode and its own sort of Feel. Having seen the finale, I will never be able to take my mind off of it again whenever thinking about the other parts, whereas if I'd given myself time to breathe between each episode, I could've had more chances to enjoy the happy stuff before the finale inevitably puts a whole twist on it all).

It was very easy for me to understand why Aziraphale would choose heaven, since he's always been, at least verbally, fiercely on that side, which he believes to be fundamentally good. He seems to have never stopped denying being away from the side of heaven/goodness. I've seen several posts going in-depth about the different philosophies Crowley and Aziraphale have regarding the system and what their solution to all this should be, and you did a wonderful job as well sorting out how the two perceives each other and their relationship. These are all really good points and very well put discussions. For me myself, I can very much relate to Aziraphale here, the struggle of still choosing to align with something despite clearly knowing it isn't all good, simply because there are some parts that are still believed to be salvageable, and that others are just not seeing those bits. Yes there are flaws and there are toxic people around, but steer clear of those people and we'll be fine! So it makes total sense to me that of course Aziraphale would take up the offering to fix things, since "I must do good and be righteous" is at his core, and what he believes to be also at the core of heaven's operations.

Now I am a bit hung up on the part where Aziraphale originally was not going to accept the proposition unless he can be with Crowley, but Crowley isn't going, and Aziraphale went ahead with it anyway. Yeah I'm not really seeing that. Perhaps it's just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing because he was so upset, and he almost, ALMOST, stayed.

So that's where I'm at for now, 48 hours into recovery. I can't say I'm normal yet, and I don't know how long, if ever, when I will be again. I'm just gonna have to live with it until it becomes the new normal. I'm not usually the type to write meta-analyses, so I'm not sure if any of this is actually good input. Yours or anyone's further discussion is always welcomed! Would love to message about this as well. I do hope we can all tough through this and live to see season 3, whenever that is. I think I'm at an okay place with all the logic behind the storyline, it's just all So. Damn. Emotional, and that's the main part I'm grappling with.

And yeah, Neil really got the jump on us calling it "quiet, gentle, and romantic". 🖕(affectionate)

Hiya! I've been following your blog for a while and can't help but notice that we share at least two fandoms. As a fellow suffering soul at the mercy of GO's season 2 finale, how are you doing?

First of all, know this ask made me smile and thank you so much for asking that. It's not every day in fandom life that we get a finale as heartbreaking and devastating as that and I love the people who have asked me how I'm doing about it. I love that this is a fandom where we're all supporting each other through all the heavy emotions.

I'm... I'm okay. Mostly. Probably. I think?

If you don't mind, I'm just genuinely gonna tell you how I feel about it. (Edit from the future, this got long, I'm so sorry lol) I went into this season expecting quiet, gentle, and romantic, and therefore, on that first watch-through, I was looking for quiet, gentle, and romantic. I didn't know what the season was going to be about other than that. I thought I was looking for the ways in which Crowley and Aziraphale were growing closer, and they did! But in that, I didn't know I was also supposed to be looking at the ways that they weren't communicating. I didn't know I was supposed to be looking at all the ways they clearly haven't healed from their traumas.

And so, when we got to that scene in the end, I was incredibly confused by Aziraphale. Crowley has always been my favorite character in this story, I relate to him most and I feel I always understand him. So I pretty quickly got his side of things. But Aziraphale... it just felt out of nowhere (and a little bit, it was. The Metatron really did just kinda show up and offer Az all of that) and it felt like I'd been betrayed a bit.

I thought Aziraphale had learned better about all of this at the end of season 1. That Crowley doesn't need to be an angel, he doesn't need to change. That Heaven is just as bad as Hell. That Heaven isn't exactly a system one person can just... fix. And for the first 5 episodes of this new season, I didn't recognize him struggling with any of this in the present day. He was happy and in love and he was okay with moving on.

And I was so confused why he was considering this, especially after seeing Crowley's reaction. And then after the kiss, Aziraphale still didn't really want to go to Heaven, he was gonna turn back. And he didn't because the Metatron rushed him. He went too fast. And I was so pained by it. Michael Sheen just ripped me apart with how he portrayed all the emotions Aziraphale was feeling. The microexpressions moved so fast it felt like I couldn't hold on to any one emotion any better than he could.

And so my heart was broken for Crowley, and I was confused and betrayed by Aziraphale. But I binged the entire season in one night, it was early morning when I finished it. I was tired, and I watched the season not actually knowing what I should have been looking for. And so I knew that it wasn't that Aziraphale was suddenly a bad character or something. I'm quite shocked by the people hating on Aziraphale's character. My first thought after I finished the season was literally, "I missed something. It's not Aziraphale's fault that I don't understand where that came from. I'm gonna have to rewatch this entire season when I'm more rested and watch it much slower. I'm gonna have to read all the meta written by people who still love and understand Aziraphale after this."

And that's what I did. I haven't rewatched the season yet, but I have been reading a lot of meta about Aziraphale's character written by people who genuinely seem to understand him. It highlighted a lot of things I'd missed the first time. The parallel between Lindsay and Nina and Heaven and Aziraphale. The fear that Aziraphale has been living in ever since Job, where he thinks he's crossed the line and deserves to fall. How his greatest temptation, in the eyes of Heaven, wasn't the food or giving away his sword, or lying. It was his relationship with Crowley.

I didn't realize how the purpose of the creation of the universe scene was that Aziraphale saw how happy Crowley was. And that he's willing to risk everything, his freedom and his beautiful life in the bookshop so that Crowley can be happy like that again. Because Aziraphale spent 6,000 years watching Crowley reject his own kind nature, his own impulse to do good, for the fear of Hell's punishment. It's not exactly that Aziraphale wants to change Crowley. It's that if Crowley was an angel, he could go back to freely being nice, and doing good. They could be together because there wouldn't be the threat of the Other Side coming for them and ripping them apart.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. He loves Crowley. But he is still scared of what Heaven thinks of it. Heaven still thinks that angels and demons can't be together because they're on opposite sides. And the powers greater than them who believe this will always try to rip them apart.

He just wants a better world for Crowley. He wants Crowley happy and safe. Is this the way to do it, no. I think Crowley is right that Aziraphale can't change Heaven. I think Crowley is probably scared out of his mind right now that Aziraphale is going back into the lion's den. Because Crowley watched for 6,000 years as Aziraphale was manipulated by Heaven, he saw how scared his angel was. And now he's going back under some misguided understanding that it'll be different this time.

I think that's what Crowley was thinking about in the car in the end credits. I think it was part "I can't believe he chose Heaven over me, because he wants to fix Heaven FOR me, the idiot." and part "He's gonna be manipulated again. And when he realizes it, he's gonna be so scared."

All Crowley wants in this world is for Aziraphale to be okay. Wants him to be free and safe. Free to eat whatever he wants without guilt. Free to do good because he wants to, not because he's had his orders. Free to dance with a demon. Free to be an us. Because he watched Aziraphle be scared of these things for millennia. He watched his angel think he deserved to be a demon for it. And he doesn't. And now Aziraphale's gone back to a place where there is no food, he won't have the opportunity to do clever good deeds in human's lives (he'll be running heaven), and Crowley simply can't follow him back there.

But then, I also believe the metas that have noticed that both plans are unsustainable. Aziraphale won't be able to change the system. And Crowley couldn't keep them running forever. They'll have to find the secret third option to be free to be together safely for eternity, and that's what season 3 is gonna be about.

So, to circle back to your question, I'm not okay lol. But I will be. I believe that this is one of the best stories ever told, and the more I understand Aziraphale and Crowley's characters, the more the ending makes sense, and the more intrigued I am about what else I might have missed that I'll need to rewatch to figure out. The kiss still breaks my heart, but I wouldn't change a thing about it because it makes sense and it played out perfectly for their situations and who they are. It's beautiful in a heartbreaking way.

And I do have a sense of peace about all of it. Even when I had just finished the episode, I knew it was all going to be okay because that divorce was literally about how much they love each other. Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. Neither of them have much experience with that. So Aziraphale struggles to accept it, and he's scared to show it back because what if it costs them everything. But Crowley doesn't struggle like that. He's been left behind on earth, for now. But I have no doubt that as soon as his angel needs him, he'll be there.

Aziraphale will probably say he's sorry. And Crowley's just gonna give him a hug, tell him he loves him, that he's not gonna say I forgive you because neither of them need forgiveness. Not anymore.

It actually feels really good having written all this out like this, I've not talked about good omens much, even though I've been reblogging a lot. I'd love to talk to you more about all of it, if you want. And of course, I want to ask you how are YOU doing? What are your thoughts on all of this? How are you holding up? My ask box and my messages are always open!

[thesquidkid]

Who says science isn't exciting?

4x04 Dear Mama

Hi, and welcome back to my science meta! I'm actually writing this merely a few hours after watching the finale, and I haven't gotten a chance to rewatch any of season 4. So this might get updated in the future as I intend to rewatch the entire show to give you the best science breakdown possible!

Anyway, this is not about the finale, it's about 4x04 and science. Hence I will ignore all my feelings about this episode, and focus on my favourite thing in the world: science!

So buckle your seat-belts, deconnect all your braincells, and prepare yourself to dive into some alien made-up science!

(Content warning for this meta, I talk about squids a lot, because as you can see from my username, I like that animal)

We start up with a dialogue between Isobel and Liz:

Isobel: "All right, uh, Dr. Dyson, why don't you tell me about this, uh, alien ectoplasm, hmm?"

Liz: "Oh, I prefer the term "goo," but it's technically epidermal tissue. Mm-hmm."

The ectoplasm is the outer layer of a cell's cytoplasm. The ectoplasm is usually of an elastic texture.

The cytoplasm is the all of the material in an eukaryotic cell, enclosed by the cell membrane, excluding the cell nucleus.

Euraryotic cells are cells whose nucleus is enclosed by a nuclear envelope.

The cell nucleus is what contains all of the cell's genome (all genetic information of an organism).

So, the thing is, what we see on screen looks like skin that has been shed. Which is not what ectoplasm is. And I really don't know why Isobel would mention that. I guess one could theorise that after spending many hours around people (Liz and Kyle) who talk about biology, one would absorb some of that vocabulary.

However, Liz indeed corrects her, by saying something scientifically correct! Skin is indeed epidermal tissue.

Epidermal tissue is the outmost cell layer of the primary plant body. So, really, humans are plants and therefore the outer layer of skin, since our skin is composed of 3 layers, one of which is called the epidermis (corresponding to the outer layer), which is an other word for epidermal tissue.

I know this is a weird thing to be proud of, but the fact that they used correct terms (as far as I know) is pretty cool. Just afterwards, Liz mentions the third helix and hence it is definitely alien. Which, personally, I didn't need to look at it under a microscope to tell. The skin sample glowed. Human skin, as far as I know, doesn't do that.

But, better be safe than sorry. It's always good to check your results, and give background to the results that were obtained.

***

The next science is something that kinda confused me at first, and then seemed to make some sense. Liz seems to be walking around the desert with a metal detector (spectrometer). And she says:

"Yeah. I rigged it so that it would locate the alien tech component in alien biology. I mean, at least I hope I did."

A spectrometer is a scientific instrument used to separate and measure spectral (over a spectrum) components of a physical phenomenon.

There are light spectrometers, that can separate white light (visible light) and measure the individual bands of colour that compose the light (called a spectrum). There are mass spectrometers which measure the different masses of the atoms or molecules in a gas.

There are other types of spectrometers, like a magnetic one, which is what I had initially assumes Liz had used, but turns out a magnetic spectrometer requires very specific conditions.

Then, I decided to look further into mass spectrometer. It appears that it would work on solids rather than just on gasses. We then can conclude that Liz probably used a mass spectrometer, and tweaked it so that it would "detect" the change in mass between alien DNA (which contains a third helix, which I'm guessing must affect it's mass), from the rest of the desert.

Well, she does find an odd change in mass, in, you know, a truck buried under sand. Very normal, of course.

***

Liz saying "For the first time in forever, the science doesn't make any sense to me." really really describes my constant state watching that show

***

Liz and Kyle science!

Liz: "Kyle. What if the alien cells aren't dead? What if they are only playing dead? Like an octopus does when it-it's scared and it turns into coral."

Kyle: "You're talking chromatophores."

Octopuses (I had to google the plural of octopus, and I'm just going with what google answered) wan indeed turn into coral! It's fascinating to see (here's a youtube video for you). Squids can also change their colour (which I can actually talk about a lot, I have done extensive research on squids 😅😂).

Squids and octopuses have cells called chromatophores that have the particularity of changing colour. These cells are situated just below the the surface of the skin, which is thin enough to show the colour of these cells.

Chromatophores basically work by having a center that is elastic and contains a certain colour. The elasticity means that when it stretches out, the coulour would appear brighter, and hence give the illusion of changing colour (since then the colours seems more visible). This elastic center, like a little pouch, is controlled by nerves and muscles. These cells are found in a large number, in varying sizes. Hence, it can create a full camouflage. Thing of it like pointillism, a painting made of thousands of little dots of different colour.

To go back to the alien science, basically the alien cells taken from the skin sample have the same property than squids and octopuses. I guess you could say, that I, squid kid, am an alien. (Sorry, I had to, I have been saving this from the moment I watched the episode. It is my moment to shine).

By introducing the sample from the blue eyes, it is like saying "hey don't be afraid, I'm a friend", and the squid/octopus basically reverts to their "original form".

(Moral of the story: don't scare me. I'll turn into coral 😂)

(Side note, but this is one of the reasons thesquidkid is my url)

***

I could talk about Tezca and Jones' body. But I genuinely have no idea what is going on, and I don't even want to know. However, I am always happy to talk theories and ideas!

***

This is the end of the meta for this episode! It took me most of the day ngl. I was writing in during the breaks in my lectures, because I was so excited to finally talk about how cool squids are 😂

I don't really know when I'll upload the next one, but I'll keep doing them episode by episode, instead of all in one post. I did that for the first three seasons and that was not a great idea for my sanity. You have no idea how stressful it is to write a full meta all on tumblr drafts. I was so scared it would crash and I'd lose everything. I guess I like to live dangerously 😂

[chaoticgeminate]

Kinktober - Day Four

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @ the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: Semi-public teasing, Javi with leather gloves, emotional vulnerability, implied history with violence/abuse, very low on the smut and heavy on the softness. I CANNOT DO SMUT WITHOUT EMOTIONS I'M SORRY ;-;

Breath Play (1.9k)

After a filling brunch of things like egg benedict with Iberico ham, A5 wagyu steak and eggs, and a lentil vegan dish that just blew you away all four of you went to Ramón and Eleana’s hotel where you signed two sets of your books and did an Instagram shout out to Nina. Javi waved off their concerns over the cost of brunch, that he paid for, and you realized the Ritz was chosen because Javi wanted to treat them to something nice and not because that was what they were used to.

When you both got back in the convertible Javi slipped his gloves back on and your whore brain absolutely sat up and took notice, he made sure that it was slow and deliberate enough that your focus was solely on the way the leather dragged across his skin, and your tongue darted out to wet your lips.

“I guess we can say you do have a glove kink then?” His question snapped you out of the ideas running through your head, his remark about ruining those gloves still echoing, and you had to drag your eyes away from where he gripped the steering wheel to meet his gaze.

“Looks like it.” Your voice came out breathy, the tone making Javi’s pupils expand before he slipped his shades on, and you half expected him to speed back to the house. But Javi surprised you by taking you closer to the shore, pulling down a stretch of road that was empty before turning off the main road and down an inclined road closer to the water, and the area of beach was devoid of anyone. No tourists, no people wandering around, just sand and water and high rocky cliffs to block the view of the street.

“Are you okay with this?” His question made you realize exactly what he was thinking to do, that he wanted you here, and while there was part of you that was definitely not okay at the idea of someone snapping pictures or recording you if you were caught… it was also kind of exciting. You managed to nod, whispering out a yes, before Javi was getting out of the car and you did the same. He tugged you against his body so he was perched on the hood with you facing the shore, you realized that in doing so it’d be almost impossible for anyone to see what you were up to unless they were out in the water.

Even then the deeper water for the ships was so far out that it was unlikely you’d get caught.

“You knew about this place already?”

“Not personally, I just know a few of my cousins have brought people here. I know it is not quite day four, Solecita, but I changed my mind during brunch. Tomorrow will be a day of resting, because I want you more than ready for me the day after.” You shivered at the implication, since the day five prompts were seared into your brain and that was the only valid reason he could have to want a rest, and the fact that he was even going to have a break day wasn’t as disappointing as you thought.

Javi was definitely a service lover but he was also voracious, now that he had you like this he was proving to have an insatiable appetite for your pleasure, and your boyfriend had already confessed he’d held himself back so much in the past because he was nervous of how fast he had been falling for you despite a good portion of your relationship being long distance. The fact that he’d been holding back was both exciting and intimidating.

Did you want him to rail you frequently and without hesitation? Yes, of course you did, you’d be stupid to want anything less.

But the emotional aspect of his intimacy was -as he said- nerve wracking; you’d been falling fast too and the idea of losing him hurt too much already.

“I cannot tell if you’re distracted out of excitement over my intent to fuck you full repeatedly in two days or if there’s something else going on in your head, Solecita.” Javi was using one hand to cup your cheek and turn your face to look at you, his other arm banded around your body to hold you in place, and you felt that worry that you were going to scare him if you told him how deep your feelings for him ran already.

“It’s both. I- even without the sex I’m really attached to you, I know most of our relationship has been long distance so it might seem like it’s too fast and I just don’t want you to find a reason to walk away from me-“

“Solecita, I have held myself back from telling you that I love you since the day you and I spent at your apartment after our fourth date was rained out. When you laughed at how we were drenched from the downpour and heated up soup from a tin in your microwave which we drank in mugs and told me that a little disaster was just the fate’s way of spicing things up.” You remembered his confused and mildly horrified expression when you’d whipped out your rainy day staple, canned soup in a mug was only good when it was rainy or there was heaps of snow, and yet he’d still stayed and ended up tangled in the blankets on your couch kissing you for hours.

“You love me?”

“Sí, I love you so much, I was just worried it was too soon.”

“No Javi, it’s not, I love you too.”

His mouth sealed over yours the moment the words escaped you and you whined when Javi let go of your waist to run his hand under your skirt and up, the drag of the leather against your skin making you shiver. The feeling of his fingertips gliding from your cheek to your neck made you stiffen a little but you leaned more against him and tipped your head in a way that exposed more of your neck to him.

“What’s your word, Solecita, and what do you do if you cannot speak?”

Oh shit.

You swallowed thickly as his whisper was breathed into your skin, making you shiver as you ran your tongue against the back of your teeth to ground yourself.

“Taffy and Brittle, my words are taffy to slow and brittle to stop, and if I can’t speak you want me to tap your thigh. Once to ease up, twice to check in, and three times for hard stop.” Why you chose candies you couldn’t remember as Javi purred a soft ‘good girl’ in your ear and pressed his gloved fingertips to the front of your underwear before his hand settled lightly on your neck without pressure.

Your hips jumped at the contact and Javi used his foot to kick your legs wider, gently enough to avoid hurting you but hard enough to make sure you knew it wasn’t a suggestion. You didn’t really know what to do with your hands, they were currently reaching behind you and gripping the leather belt he was wearing like a vice, and your boyfriend nipped at your ear gently with a soft moan as you rocked back against him.

“My beautiful Solecita, to have your love… I am the luckiest man. Your beauty captivated me but your ability to weave words and create stories that I could see as clear as if they were a film left me needing to know you.”

While you certainly knew you had a praise kink it was the fact that he wasn’t even talking about anything sexual and you were still getting turned on that had your head spinning, the softness of it making your heart squeeze even as his fingers circled your covered clit. A low moan from you made the grip on your throat tighten just a little, to remind you he was there, and your hips jerked against him.

“Javi-“

“Hold your skirt up for me, Solecita, I want to see.”

Your hands were trembling as you moved them to raise the front of your skirt and hold it, feeling the way Javi’s cock twitched and hearing his low moan in your ear, and he rewarded you by sliding his hand into your underwear; the leather was smooth and warm and as Javi slipped two fingers into your wet pussy he tightened his hold on your neck to smother your moan. He wasn’t squeezing hard, you could still talk if you had to, but the fact that it was even a little more difficult to draw breath than normal made everything feel different.

Even the tension in the air felt different.

The soft choked noise you made sounded so loud.

Hyperaware of the hand on your throat, of the sensation of his fingers gliding in and out of your wet channel, the creak of the leather when his hold loosened and the pounding in your chest as your body began to draw in full oxygen again. It was an overwhelming feeling and you couldn’t decide how you felt about it, but Javi’s grip loosened further and you shivered when he pressed his forehead against the back of your shoulder but you knew something was wrong. The strange tension wasn’t gone, even though he’d loosened his hold, there was something almost rigid in the way Javi was holding himself now.

You didn’t like it.

“Javi?”

“Hush- Solecita, you’re doing so well.”

“Taffy.” Javi’s hand stopped moving and you let the skirt of your dress fall in order to take the hand resting near your collar and grip it in both of yours. Javi’s breathing was harsh and you realized he was shaking a little, something had rattled him and you couldn’t help but scan the horizon before listening just in case you weren’t as secluded as you thought.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like that, the choking, I- the trust you have in me makes me so conflicted but I don’t like it. Violence and pain has always lingered in the background of my life, I do not really wish to bring that near you.”

Javi’s open admission that he wasn’t feeling it made you reach one hand back to stroke his hair gently, his openness about why he didn’t like it was more than he even needed to say.

“Okay, then we mark that off as a hard no. Why don’t we go back to the house then? I want to thank you for being so good to me.” Javi made a small sound before lifting his head and pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, not fighting you as you pulled his hand out of your underwear, the wet sound of it making both of you shiver but Javi needed your support and care.

Sex wasn’t the most important part of this for you, his comfort and trust was.

“Thank you, Solecita, I’m sorry I can’t-“

“No, don’t apologize, we already said there was no judgement as to why we did or didn’t like things we tried.”

He stopped arguing with you and even let you drive back, his hand holding yours tightly the entire ride. This was going to have to be a bigger conversation but not right now, he was too raw right now, and you decided that you’d initiate a break day of your own since that was more important to you than a list.

Javi had done so much for you, the least you could do was give him the emotional support he needed and deserved.

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms @AynsleyWalker @lovesbiggerthanpride @MSWarriorBabe80

Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

Kinktober Only: @nicolethered @katareyoudrilling

[alteredphoenix]

So the reason why BNHA was starting to dip in quality was because of that one editor that worked on a bunch of manga a’la Samurai 8 (which I haven’t read but some of its ideas are sort of being worked into Boruto, which explains why it’s veering more toward tech over ninja), Red Hood (which had an interesting premise but just took way too long to get the ball rolling after, like, Chapter 5, which culminated in it going fully meta by the end), Earthchild (which is the biggest tragedy out of this list because that went downhill after the first chapter), and Ayashimon (which I honestly don’t understand how it got popular as it did in the West, but you can only write so many fight scenes that can be boiled down to as ‘punch harder because I’m a manga protag’ before it gets old fast) that got quickly axed?

No wonder I was losing interest in this manga right after the Paranormal Liberation Front War Arc ended. Okay, the Villain Hunt Arc was decent - but that was the point where it should’ve gone down the darker route and lasted much longer than the Nagant fight (and we still don’t know why she broke Overhaul out of prison, but that’s either going to happen later on or probably ended up becoming an Aborted Arc). I think if I had to pinpoint the exact moment where my interest went from ‘I want to see what happens next’ to ‘okay quit dragging your feet and get the hell on, man’, it was during the Shigaraki/Star and Stripe mini-arc. Plus there were these...odd decisions to end some of these chapters on cliffhangers that should’ve, say, resulted in more danger for the cast than they should’ve been in instead of coming out of it unscathed without any explanation...? Like, the most notable case I can think of for me is the end of that one chapter more than halfway through the Villain Hunt Arc where Deku and the Pros go into that one mansion to square up against AFO, and I’m still trying to figure out what the actual fuck the point was for that random-ass explosion. Don’t even get me started on the current arc where it feels like the rest of the cast that aren’t Deku, Endeavor, Hawks (sort of, and I say this as a person that loves Hawks), Bakugou, and Shouto are...kind of Just There to make the scenery look pretty, if you catch my drift. We still haven’t seen Ochako and Toga trade blows yet nor learned who Deku’s father is (rather insignificant and nonexistent his presence actually is in the canon story, and that’s if you completely ignore the AFO Is Deku’s Father theories).

I’m not sure how much you can look at BNHA and say ‘this has all been planned out’ or ‘this is where I can tell it was planned and this is where I can tell either the author’s winging it or going by what his editor’s telling him to do’, but I can at least say it hasn’t been planned this far ahead to get to this point (I’m at least aware that the traitor and Dabi reveals were meant to happen much earlier than intended but the negative reaction toward the villains in Japan put a wrench in that). It’s kind of sad in a way that this is the conclusion I’ve come to as to why my interest has waned because for the longest while I thought this would be the shounen manga whose endgame wouldn’t go up in flames (and I’ve noticed it’s always a war arc that causes this to happen, and as much as I think the Kaguya twist would’ve worked a lot better if it’d been planned sooner and better I’ll forever blame Naruto for making me realize how much I utterly hate how drawn-out war arcs are in manga). I think the only shounen manga I’ve read so far that sticks its landing during and post-war arc is Rave Master - and that’s a manga that made Mashima Hiro sad (which is why Fairy Tail isn’t so heavy on the kill count)! But I also feel bad for the old editor, in a way, because I honestly think he’d work better as a trend-setter for a different profession that isn’t the manga industry; it’s pretty clear the guy’s just not cut out for it (because having that many axed manga under your belt in such a short amount of time should’ve been a cause for alarm instead of just keeping him on hoping he’ll get something right). So hopefully him getting “transferred” - which is a polite way in Japan to say “we canned your ass” - will lead him to opportunities that’ll allow him to grow into a skillset that’ll work for him that’ll benefit those around him rather than as a detriment.

I don’t know how much left there is to BNHA (and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s going to get that fabled sequel a’la BNHA Shippuden I’ve seen people talk about), but with this new editor I’m hoping the story will...I won’t say ‘course correct’ because I think it’s a bit too late in the game to be doing that, but maybe get things back on track and take some time - but not too much, that’s One Piece’s job because of how massive it is - to breathe. Like it doesn’t have to rush to get to the end, but there’s really not much left to the story other than the Ochako/Toga fight, the AFO fight, whatever Sero and Shinsou are going to do,  Deku’s involvement, that thing with Touya, whatever the 2nd OFA Holder’s deal is, and maybe the Nagant/Overhaul storyline getting picked back up.

I can’t say if the change in editors will be enough to renew my interest (I kind of think the damage has already been done), but fingers crossed BNHA won’t fumble on its way toward its ending. And I’m saying this as someone that’s in the WoW fandom and has heard (still hears) the griping and criticisms of its storyline on a daily basis for over a decade.

[ramblingguy54]

Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization

     Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.

     For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.

     In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.

     To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.

     As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.

     I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.

“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”

     Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.

     Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.

     Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.

    Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern

-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?

-Tails: But, I...

-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.

         Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao

-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?

        Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3

-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!

     Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.

     We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats

-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!

-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!

     This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.

     After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.

“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”

“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”

          I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.

     Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.

     It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.

“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”

Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!

Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!

Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.

     The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.

     Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.

     It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here! 

Hope you enjoyed. 

[scarfacemarston]

Hi-hi! Just saw your vent post here, I'm so sorry you have to go through this, esp right before holidays. :/ As a distraction and if you'd be interested, maybe you could share your thoughts on what the hell Dutch was doing after 1899 till 1907? I know you write mostly about Abi&John, but I feel like you have a good grasp of characters in RDR, which is not blurred with fanon perceptions. I have a hard time imagining Dutch keeping low & surviving in the wilderness on his own, yet I don't think he could go around people unnoticed. He is quite a "colourful character" and the word that he's alive would spread fast. Plus his "all I did was fight" take on life makes me DoUbT even more that he could hold still for so long. Thank you! 🖤

Oh I'll write for anyone in terms of meta and history goes, It's just creatively, I don't have enough energy and I'm unsure if I still have the ability to "voice" the characters correctly. I have some of my other writing on my masterlist but well...most of my writing could use some editing. Anyhow, thank you so much. You’re too kind. To start, think it is totally fine to have headcanons and I never want to get in the way of those, but if someone wants a realistic answer to what happened - I look at the source material and only the source material. Which is why I sometimes get annoyed when people INISIST their headcanon is fact because that’s not what a headcanon is.  As you said, Dutch needs attention. He can't live happily without it. It doesn't matter if it's one person, 2, 3, or 20 or 50. He needs it somewhere somehow. Now that is normal for people, but Dutch is very much someone who needs it to thrive.  That is how he has always been whether he’s using the “romance of Evelyn Miller” or not -John bluntly says he was egotistical andr relied on the gang to feed him before we even have seen a wanted poster of him in rdr 1.

 Back to Dutch, he is very clever and an expert at avoiding the law and always has been. He’s the type to make an appearance to cause trouble and gain attention and then disappear like a cloud of smoke. So I think as long as he has the attention of at least one person, that slows him down a little. Micah easily feeds into that so he can manipulate Dutch in a lot of ways, but Dutch probably knows this and can put him in line in some ways. Dutch had to, I don’t see him following Micah like that - just his “suggestions”. 

With the knowledge of both games, I think he traveled with Micah for years, the events of the epilogue occur and THEN catches up with Bill and Javier for a while. 

When you talk to the Pinkertons in chapter 3 of RDR 1, they get pissy that they didn’t listen to the rumors that Dutch was outside of Blackwater near Manzinita  not just the entire time in the game - but for years  in the mountains with his own gang in Cochinay, so it’s possible he already met up with Javier and Bill and left with Micah. IDK but I think that’s where Dutch went after the epilogue. I spent some time writing until 1911 and then I saw your post said 1907. If you want to read what else I wrote, feel free to; if not, that’s okay, too! 

People do not take John seriously when it comes to Dutch’s personality or who he or Dutch is in rdr 1 which is frustrating when many people haven’t even played rdr 1 to even know how Javier, John, Abigail, Dutch and Bill are. A lot of people don’t want to accept that their character of choice was darker or more jaded than their rdr 2 counterpart but that is how it was written originally. I don’t understand why people don’t trust the original protagonist who grew up with him. Bill, and Javier have less than 5 minutes each of screen time to the point that I’ve written Javier’s script. So people not at least acknowledging what John says makes zero sense. Again, headcanon is a very different thing. When Dutch catches up with Bill and Javier whether it’s with Micah before 1907 or not -  Regardless, it sounds to me that Javier became disillusioned with Dutch and Bill’s actions and became a wanderer / bounty hunter in Mexico. The game cannot stress enough how cruel and ruthless Bill and Dutch become to the point that some of their scenes were nearly blocked because RockStar couldn’t release the game unless they changed it. I think it says a lot about Javier that he left on his own after that. It makes Javier’s story so much more tragic.   That’s what all the locals say. Bill goes to New Austin to start his own nasty gang but Javier does shield him again anyway. I don’t know how recently Javier saw  Dutch. He tries to tell John that Dutch is in South America and will take him but is obviously lying. I think that it was still was out of a sense of loyalty even if they weren’t together. Either way, when you talk to the Pinkertons in chapter 3 of RDR 1, they get pissy that they didn’t listen to the rumors that Dutch was outside of Blackwater near Manzinita  not just the entire time in the game - but for years  in the mountains with his own gang in Cochinay. This is 1911.

[wsgeon]

hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc. 

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

[mochiotomedumplings]

finished raul’s route, because i want to.

i was initially the most interested in him out of all the guys with all their problems, partly because i like how he looks relatively the most. his issues also weren’t really a problem with lynette being lynette, so i was personally most looking forward to seeing how his route unfolds. my expectation was of course somewhat shaped by the two previous route, but i also knew to not get overly influenced by my instinctive expectations to not get flustered for no reason again. of course, this is only my best effort at it, the reality is that i could not fully rid myself of the context that was created from the first 2 routes… but that in itself is not a bad thing, if properly utilized in the writing.

mumbo jumbo aside, i do love pretty much 70% of this route. the very first part, the steamy scene aha, was a very nice touch - i was surprised and also found it enjoyable… on a meta level anyway (steamy scenes aren’t my favourite cup of tea). it was an interesting twist on an otherwise old trope of prudent x playboy - but of course queen lynette carried it with her beautiful perspective on the whole process. i love how she was refreshingly honest and open-minded about it all - a great message about “common sense” and trying to understand people in general.

what i love about the first 70% was how we have a pov on raul’s side almost every chapter - it felt like the journey was about both raul and lynette slowly falling in love ? putting it this way it’s so trope-like but ah, it was just so nice seeing the guy’s pov. gives a lot of context to future interactions.

i could see that there were a lot of reasons why raul fell in love with lynette - the narrative definitely made it very clear. the process was fairly believable and enjoyable to watch too, as his perspective didn’t just shift overnight. tbh, at the end of the route he’s still the same person as he was except now he has a fulfilling love with lynette. not sure if this is a flaw or that it’s realistic… but the ending or the last 30% is something i’ll have to talk separately about.

of course, queen lynette is queen in the route as always. i love her work ethics, her professionalism……

as i wrote this i realize… i like raul but his dynamics with lynette just didn’t feel as good as in shelby’s and ryuki’s. or am i being influenced by the ending… i must be, right ? out of everyone so far i definitely find raul’s journey of falling in love with lynette the most exciting, perhaps because he started off quite different from lynette. but perhaps because what connects them is raul’s myth obsession and lynette’s myth roots… it does not feel like there’s as much sincere interaction in the other two routes as opposed to plot convenience.

of course, there’s this whole cupid/teacher of love thing going on which makes sense on a meta-within-the-story level but… perhaps raul’s unique personality was just lost once he realizes his love (i don’t count his myth obsession here because while that’s technically part of his identity, it’s just more like an adopted interest than something that defines him). perhaps they could’ve made this shine more as his personality trademark by giving more focus to when he *actually* realizes he’s in love with a mythical goddess - it was explained how he got over it but it went by so fast that his obsession just feels like a cool hobby.

but haiz gotta get to the last part. the last 30%… i’ve got mixed feelings about it. i wanted to say the pacing felt off to me but in retrospect it was pretty well organized and balanced, as far as pacing is concerned. so what’s the problem ? there’s a bit of a twist in raul’s route - i see why they say play his route second before last. the thing is, while it was a fairly nice twist, i saw it coming quite some time away.

it was similar to CxM - the twist wasn’t mindblowing, but i didn’t expect it to be, as long as it delivers the emotions. and it did… but i can’t help feeling that it could have been better with a bit more time in the route, to flesh out the emotions a bit more before rushing for the good ending. even before that, there was this long segment (spoiler) where they had like a mini adventure in a somewhat dangerous place. the thing is, i couldn’t take this game seriously after a lot of things so far so there was basically zero tension on my part (there wasn’t even a sleep-hug CG cmon). unfortunately they also made this part quite long (or maybe it just felt this way because the dynamics between lynette and raul weren’t quite working out for me here) so i had a lot of time to imagine possible explanations. the narrative also left sufficient hints so when the next scene comes along on celestia, i just couldn’t get into it.

it was a pretty scene, also unfortunately the confession scene, and i know by plot it has to happen then, but i lost my immersion completely knowing that something wasn’t right. i briefly convinced myself that maybe that was the end of the route because confession (the lack of some wacky drama to stop them from confessing like the two previous didn’t happen which took me even further out of immersion) but even that couldn’t get me back into their heartfelt confession (the tone just changed way too quickly from nonsensical adventure to tearful confession that it didn’t stick at all). personally i would have not used a CG for it (it was a plot scene anyway, even if it’s the confession scene) and maybe even cut it short to even further drive the point that something was up. just my guess but the writer probably couldn’t decide whether to prioritize making it a proper confession scene or a plot buildup scene and tried to do both - and ended up missing both.

and that was when it went downhill in terms of romance and characters. the twist was nice, the villain being actually quite sick (the cool meaning), but due to time constraint it pretty much rushed for the resolution. and since they alr had their (sad) confession earlier the conclusion just felt lacking somehow. this was also when we stopped getting raul’s pov even though it would have helped added more depth to the last conversation. i guess one thing remains consistent - angst does not really exist in this game.

not gonna lie, the way the villain was defeated… i know this game likes to be wacky, but that was really funny lmao.

i suppose this does convey the idea of ludus - fun love ? - pretty well. the route was indeed fun…

maybe raul just wasn’t my type after all… maybe if he’s a bit more whipped…

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Get a Little Worn Down in Between

For @summer-of-whump day 5 prompt: broken which gave me a reason to write hurt Tim Drake and protective Jason. Fandoms: Batman Comics/Red Robin Comics Warnings for: Suicidal thoughts, talk of emotional and physical abuse.  You can also read it on AO3 Rated Teen(PG-13)

Jason wondered if they even realized that they had broken Tim, the one that gave everything and asked for very little in return who fought and still fought to be usefully in hopes that it would mean that he would be welcomed into the family until they broke him beyond repair.

Given the smug smirk on Damian's face as the little demon stood behind Dick and Bruce as he once away got away with emotionally and verbally abusing Tim while Tim was lectured about how he was older than Damian, he couldn't let Damian get to him, Damian is just a child and Tim should know better.

Jason could see as each barb hit deep and left another scar already over his sacred heart.

"Enough!" Jason snarled as he stomped forward and pushed Tim behind him. He had done his fair share of harm to Tim, he allowed Talia to manipulate him, to twist and turn him into her weapon to get rid of Tim. He still didn't know why she hated Tim so much that she would use him and now her son to get rid of him

He saw Talia in Damian and it scared him. He couldn't deny that Dick had done wonders with the little gremlin but staying quiet while Damian went after Tim with everything he had to push him to the edge needed to stop it wasn't helping Damian it was just enabling him. If no one took Damian aside and explained to him why trying to kill Tim, why attacking him not with just his weapons but also his words were wrong and needed to stop Jason was afraid that one day they would find Tim standing on the edge of a ledge and no words would be enough to pull him back from the edge.

Tim had saved this family, it was time someone saved him.

"Just enough. Stop it. No," Jason held up his hand when both Bruce and Dick looked to speak, "You both have done enough talking now it is time for you to listen and you will listen to me even if I have to tie you to chairs, you will fucking finally listen." Jason snarled out.

"Jason?" Tim's soft voice came from behind him and Jason's heart nearly broke at how soft and hopeful it sounded.

Turning to look over his shoulder Jason flashed Tim a soft smile, "It's going to be okay baby bird." He found himself promising.

Biting his lower lip Tim looked at his Robin, his hero and he felt safe, not like he felt when he was with Kon, Bart, Cassie and Cass but safer than he has felt in the cave for years. "You don't have to do this." The last thing that Tim wanted was to cause strife between Jason and the others just when Jason was slowly starting to return to them.

"I'm doing this Tim because it should have been done long ago."

"What is this drivel? We have more important things to worry about than Drake's feelings. He is just proving how weak he is."

Jason didn't miss the way Tim flinched at Damian's words or how he curled into himself when no one spoke up for him.

"Your mother sure taught you all of her tricks on how to manipulate people. I heard that speech from Talia before when she was doing everything in her power to turn me against Tim. To make me her weapon in getting rid of him. I'm just surprised that Dickie and B are weak-minded enough to fall for that bullshit trick." Jason casually commented. "Physical, emotional and verbal abuse are three tricks of the Al Ghul's and you Damian have mastered them." Jason clapped slowly. "Your mother and grandfather must be so proud of you. You are proving you are Al Ghul through and through."

Damian froze as Dick let out a growl, "That is enough Jason." Dick snarled out.

Cocking an eyebrow Jason looked at Dick like he was a speck of dirt on his boot, "So it is wrong for me to talk to Damian like that but it is okay for him to talk to Tim even worse? And don't give me that bullshit that Tim is older and Damian is just a child because that excuse is shit and you know it. Tim is not an adult yet, he has been forced to grow up fast all of his life. He never had a childhood, the only happiness he had was chasing us all over Gotham. He is not you Dick! He didn't need space, he needed his family supporting him while he was grieving losing so many people that he loved. And what does he get a little brother that tries to kill him and doesn't even get a stern talking to? No, he gets Robin and he gets to keep up the emotional and verbal abuse because the only adults in his life are too much of a bunch of cowards to step up and set boundaries for him!" Jason could feel the rage of the pit starting to bubble up, a soft touch on his arm had him turning to look at Tim who had stepped up beside him.

Tim could see the pit beginning to take over and that was the last thing he wanted, Jason had worked so hard to learn to control it that he didn't want to set him back. "For so long I have wanted a family." Tim started and he found himself licking his lips as he met Dick's gaze, "From the moment you gave me that hug that horrible night I wished that I could be your little brother. Batman and Robin were more than my heroes they were the family I longed for." He moved his gaze to Bruce, "No matter how hard you pushed me, wanting to make me quit and go away I fought all that much harder to find a place here because you were my family. Only no matter how hard I tried it was never enough. I would never be Jason, I was just his replacement, a placeholder until someone else came along. Someone who was wanted."

The smugness returned to Damian while Dick paled as the words began to sink in and Bruce began to see where this was going.

"I will never be Dick. I will never be Jason. I will never be Cass. I will never be Damian. All of them are loved and wanted in this family. I am just Tim, the replacement, the placeholder, the tool of the Batfamily. I love you all, even you Damian. I had been so happy to learn that I was going to have a little brother that I could pass Robin off to." There was a tear trailing down Tim's cheek as his voice broke.

Jason felt his heart break for Tim as Damian's eyes widened as Tim's words finally seemed to sink in.

"I knew I wouldn't be Robin forever and that you would someday be ready for it. I know you hated me, Damian, that you saw me as someone you needed to get rid of to prove your worth here. I don't know if your hatred of me grew because I was the first and only one who drew a line in the sand and told you that we don't kill. In the end, it didn't matter because Bruce or Dick never once backed that rule up. They never thought to set limits for you because you had a tough life. But the thing is Damian you weren't the only one. And I'm not even talking about myself but Jason and Cass, both of who have made amazing progress because someone took the time to sit them down and teach them what is and isn't acceptable. I guess since I am the only one you want gone neither Bruce nor Dick think it is important enough to teach you why words can cut deep and leave scars that sometimes never heal. I guess I just am not worth it to them, after all, I am the unwanted one."

"Tim." Dick took a step forward, his hand reached out to touch Tim, only to stop when Jason shifted so he was once again standing in front of Tim blocking the younger man from view.

"Now is not the time Dick," Jason stated his voice hard.

"It's okay Jason," Tim informed him as he moved out from behind his bulky form, staring at his so-called family Tim decided it was time to announce the decision he had come to weeks ago, "I think it is best for myself if I left Gotham."  

Silence filled the cave, not even a bat could be heard.

"Son," Bruce started his eyes wide, he knew that things had been rough but he never expected this.

Tim shook his head, "No, it is too late. If I stay here it won't be long until I am jumping from a ledge."

Dick's legs gave out from him as he collapsed on the floor and out of the corner of his eye he could see Bruce falling back into the chair at the Bat Computer. Even Damian looked affected by Tim's words.

"If it wasn't for Kon and Bart finding me, breaking the no meta rule I wouldn't be standing here today. And that is why I am leaving. I can't take being someone's punching bag and then being blamed for defending myself. I am done being the victim in what is supposed to be my home. So I am moving to San Francisco permanently. Red Robin will no longer be a part of the Bat's so please don't contact me, not that you have. I haven't heard from any of you but Jason and Cass for six months."

"Timmy," Dick's voice cracked as he realized that he was losing his baby brother, again. "Please don't go." Once again he felt helpless as another brother left him behind.

"I can't Dick." Tim's eyes were full of sorrow as he met Dick's pleading gaze. "I can't stay here and wither away until there is nothing left of me. I am barely hanging on as it is. I'm sorry but it is time I put myself first for once. I will miss you, despite everything I still love all of you and still think of you as my family." With nothing left to say Tim turned on his heel and left the cave.

When Tim's footsteps could no longer be heard Jason let out a laugh, "Well Talia's plan worked she wanted to get rid of the light of Batman and she did." Not wanting to be around them any longer Jason turned on his heel and left, he wanted to make sure that no one tried to stop Tim from leaving.

Dick looked shaken as he turned to face Bruce as he begged to know, "Bruce, what do we do now?"

Bruce had no response all he could focus on was how much darker the cave looked now that Tim was gone.

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.

[welcometomy20s]

January 10th, 2021

Action Button Review

Review

Tim Rogers reminds me of Hank Green. They are about the same age, they look about the same age which is a combination of young and old that feel eternal. They also have the same length of experience in writing in online spaces, interest in Japanese media, and apparently have Crohn’s disease? In summary, he might be the closest equivalent to Dave Green that exists in the real world. Well, I guess Dave Green is not apt, as Dave Green is not special in a way, while Tim Rogers is special, but his speciality comes from his failures rather than his counterparts' success.

Tim Rogers is a hypothetical Green brother who did not decide to publish that book. He’s a hypothetical Green brother who went to Japan instead of Alabama or Florida. Whose project crashed and burned rather than a surprise success. He’s forged in fire while the Green brothers are eroded by water. Both are wonderful people, but with a different ground of intensity and differing wealth of wisdom.

I encountered this series because I found a twitter post about a six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial, and a white middle-aged man talking about a dating sim for six hours with laudatory blurbs would always pique my interest, but since I didn’t know the guy, I went ahead and looked if he made other videos, and found he has four other review that were all about three hours or more. Now I knew that I had to watch all the reviews to prepare myself for this six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial.

Now, I wasn’t a stranger to three hour reviews of video games. I watched Joseph Anderson, Raycevick, Whitelight, matthewmatosis, and Noah Gervais-Caldwell. In fact, in the comments below Action Button Reviews, many people talked about a comparison to Noah Gervais-Caldwell (and Brian David Gilbert) and that was quite funny since I actually watched a recent Noah Gervais-Caldwell video.

His first two reviews were perfunctory, him opening himself up and trying out new things and polishing his review style, as he went through the Final Fantasy VII remake and The Last of Us. While I watched The Last of Us, I distinctly remembered and contrasted Noah’s The Last of Us Part 2 review with Tim Roger’s The Last of Us review. I liked Tim Roger’s defense of interactive movies (although he denies it!) contrasted with more cynical but ultimately positive connotation in Noah’s review. And Noah’s thesis pairs nicely with Tim’s observation that Ellie was the main protagonist all along. That fact makes Part 2 much more understandable, even the bad parts.

When I finished watch his first two reviews, I went ahead and also watched several of Tim’s videos on Kotaku, which were slightly shorter, the longest being just over an hour, which is a review of the best games in 1994, and does contain a short segment about Tokimeki Memorial, which his six hour review was my destination. To put in context, Tokimeki Memorial was #3. #1 was Earthbound, #2 was Final Fantasy VI, and #4 was Super Metroid. And I just watched a playthrough of Super Metroid basically on a whim, because it’s a monumental and a great game to play and watch.

And while the segment of the games that I knew to be great and monumental in my absorption of knowing video games was deeply personal and rightly claimed its stake that it deserved its spot, his segment of Tokimeki Memorial never got there. It was almost as if he was deliberately hiding behind something. In the end of 1994 review, Tim pitched an idea about a three hour Earthbound review, which probably was Tim’s idea of floating a departure from Kotaku, which would happen two months later, and I wonder if he was trying to deliberately throw a curveball by making a video of Tokimeki Memorial instead of the promised Earthbound review. This may be a far leap, I admit.

I went back and watched the video about Doom. It was much better in quality and in darkness. I was reminded of Film Crit Hulk’s writing of The World’s End and James Bond, another very long essay that was deeply personal and chapter for easier consumption. Few commenters noticed that Tim Rogers was just doing a dramatic reading of his written reviews on Kotaku and Action Button dot net, and how they liked that approach, and I found myself liking that approach as well. You might believe a video review needs more than just reading an essay out loud, but just the act of reading an essay out loud in the correct intonation and inflection adds ton to experience. And Tim Rogers sounds like he has decades worth of experience to present a dramatic reading of his essay very effectively, much like Hank Green.

I continued scaling the mountain to my goal. I went through his review of Pac-Man and was delighted by his reading of Namco games, and was impressed by the opening sequence, and just generally enjoyed it. I was getting excited to set a day aside and let the six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial watch over me and reduce me to dust.

And it sure did. That six hours was a harrowing experience. What Tim Rogers is best at is telling a story, and so to go through a let’s play was a wish I never made, fulfilled. In the end, I was left with nothing and everything. It was like finishing a really good book.

I wanted to watch it again, then again I never wanted to watch it again. It was almost a traumatic experience. Tim talked about there being endless variation of love, and the love Tim Rogers went through was not the fluffy yet melancholic one that I craved, but one akin to a devotion of an eldritch god. Love made in justification for one’s efforts in attending and maintaining a relationship. A love stronger than most kinds of love, but most draining and taxing as well. Tim Roger’s synopsis of Tennis Monster reminded me of Asking for It by Louise O’Neill, which is also about empathizing a quite hateable character because we kind of have to. Apparently one person knows the full plot because Tim Rogers rambled on about it as he was couch surfing in his house, and unbelieve as it usually is, I fully trust that the commenter is telling the truth.

I was like a heroin addict, who really wanted a different hit, like talking to friends or hiking, my mother wanted me to go hiking with her, and I didn’t because, after the pandemic started, all I wanted to be was inside. Outside felt diseased. The air outside felt contaminated to me, hard to breathe. I was stuck in this place.

Tim Rogers is an exceptional figure. He seems to be a movie protagonist, he reminds me of The Librarian, played by Noah Wyle. Tim has eidetic memory, as he has access every single autobiographical memory formed, but not other types of memory. We know that those types of memory are different because of people like Tim and people who are opposite of Tim, someone who has no memories of autobiographical memory but otherwise fine. These people tend to have very few emotions and have a hard time deciding things. Lack of emotions is correlated with difficulty in decision making.

So Tim is the opposite of that, Tim is full of emotions, complex emotions and he can make decisions and carry it out in a snap. He would be good at school, and he was, but he would be too focused on his grandeur to be under some authority, which is how he became who he was. His anti-authoritarian nature rings throughout his reviews, highlight the general Generation X vibe that Tim exudes but also the modern socialistic movement of Generation Z, which adds to this odd mix of old and new.

Not only does Tim have eidetic memory and intense work ethic that he never seems to move away from, therefore making a three hour video masterpiece at a clip that seems unbelievable for a seasoned viewer, he also has exceptional skills in fast math and language, he seems to be at least familiar with dozens of languages, and of course Tim’s experience is bounded by his decade of living in Japan.

I think this is why Tim naturally gravitates towards video games. When Tim says ‘welcome to video games’ there’s a natural supposition that Tim Rogers is the protagonist of video games, and I think he is. Tim wants to be in video games, because he needs to be in video games, instead of some almighty god cruelly deciding to plop him into a real life. He should be an video game adaptation of The Librarian and go on world-spanning adventure and romance impossibly beautiful girls instead of toiling the grime of what real life portends to. His life is dramatic, but impossibly mundane as well. It’s a simulacrum of a movie or a video game, which is pretty cool on its own.

But of course Tim Rogers isn’t the only part of Action Button Reviews. In the ensuing five videos, Tim Rogers tries to do something. Video games are a wide net. There is so much to video games, something like Gone Home and Geometry Dash are included alongside Wolfenstein The New Colossus and Farmville. What makes a video game? Actually, the more interesting question is, why do we have the term ‘video games’? Why do we put all of this mess into a single category, as if there is some throughline.

Tim Rogers starts to do that. Tim Rogers boldly states that things like Doom and Tokimeki Memorial are intimately connected to each other. And that all video games are in conversation with each other, through deep and complex meta-narratives. Tim Rogers is a cartographer, trying to map out how video games are made whole.

I’ve always strived to be that kind of a cartographer, to showcase the weave of reality, of connecting two seemingly unconnected parts, and showing to a profound implication both existing, instead of one or the other. If you don’t know, I have been trying to write something out of my current obsession with Virtual YouTubers, and mostly Hololive, and while I think I stumbled upon the six hour video review of Tokimeki Memorial outside of my interest in virtual YouTubers, this video, as I expected in the back of my head, gave me plenty of thoughts about Hololive. Its rumination of cyberpunk and idol culture is so directly connected with the peculiarities of Hololive that I was quite astounded.

From the very beginning, I wonder how Tim Rogers thinks about Hololive, especially after he has done that six hour review. I’m sure he will have a lot of interesting thoughts about the prospect. I want to get in contact with him, maybe work under him. But then I don’t want to hang out with him. I want to be near him as he talks to a crowd at a party, but I don’t feel safe to be near him when there’s less than ten people nearby. I think below ten, I would be swept in some danger that I won’t be prepared for.

Tim Rogers and Action Button Review is a fascinating review series and if you have the time, I suggest you should take the journey. It’s well worth it, just to get a different perspective on video games and the world around it.