#so it was weird when it hit me just now the 'what am i even doing here'

[hookedonhuge]

make a story with a lot of bloating and belches please

Here we go! Ended up putting in more effort than planned, haha. Aches and Gains: What the hell… where am I? Who are all these huge men walking around? Oh that’s right, the gym. I was working out wasn’t I? Yeah, my muscles feel really sore, must have been a killer workout. Pushing myself to my absolute limit, what a legend I am.

Who is this? Someone waving. Oh they are worried. Don’t worry, haha, I’m fine. UURRP! I just take this place seriously, that's all. Needed a quick rest. Vision’s still a little blurry but I’m getting there.

Now where was I? Just finished a set or did I finish my whole workout? Yeah I’m so sore I must be done. Especially my abs, they are really tight. I guess it was a core day. BUURRP! Oh that feels much better. I can get up now.

Whoo! I’m starting to feel alive again. Let's check out my pump in the mirror. Bet I’m looking real huge today. This shirt is kinda hard to get off, it’s so tight. Must be a crazy pump. Ah, there we go!

What the?! I’m freakin’ huge but… why have I lost so much definition?! My belly is so damn bloated! That’s okay, just my protein shake kicking in. No problem. Damn, look at the pecs on me though! Jealous of these bad boys, losers? Hahaha! King of the gym today. UUURRRP! I was already big and now I’m even bigger! URP!

I keep belching. Kinda weird but it relieves the pressure in my belly. I just need to get it all out, and find my abs again, haha. BUUUUURRRRRP! What are they all looking at? Goddamn greatness, that’s what. Oh don’t give me that pissy look staff, this place might as well be mine anyway.

I still haven’t relieved all the pressure in my gut. Aaaahhh! It hurts so much. UUURRRP! It’s like I’m inflating. I can’t get it out quick enough. BUUUURRRRP! Yeah, I know everyone, I don’t want to burp this much, okay. Geez. Everyone is on my case today. Oh great, now a staff member is coming up to me. This is unbelievable, I haven’t done anything wrong. Oh… my protein shake. Yeah guess I left it back there. Thanks. URRPP!

That cleared some room for a bit more protein shake. Bottoms up. Tastes so good. I’m so hungry too. Can’t stop myself from chugging it all. UUUUUUURRRRRRRP! That hit the spot. Hope y’all can smell that, it reeks of stale protein, hahaha. Deserve it for being so judgy.

God! I can feel myself getting bigger. Yes! I’m growing so much, so huge. My gut though… I look like I’ve eaten a five-course meal… twice. Aaaaaahhhhh! So much pressure… need to get it out… now! 

BUUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPP!

Looks like I caught someone with that point blank. Looks like they might pass out too. Hey, want another one? UUUURRRRP! Hahahaha! Take this! BUUUUURRRRRP!

WOW! Just caught myself in the reflection and damn! I’m so big, I’m jealous of myself. Look at these huge guns. Boom! This chest keeps getting bigger too. And my back, chef’s kiss. So goddamn wide and perfect! Legs looking thick too! I’m such a beast, let's go! Who cares if I’ve got a big, bloated belly. Bigger is better right. I’d take it any day with these gains. BUUUURRRRAAAAP!

I’m starting to get used to these burps. Feels so nice when I let them out. Like a lion’s roar. So manly. UUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAP! Is this too disgusting for all of you? Well bad luck. BUUURRRP! I’ve got a lot more coming! BAAAAUUUURRRRP! Let me show you all what a beast like me sounds like…

BWWWWWWOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRAAAAAAUUUUUUPPP!

Hahahahaha! This entire gym reeks now! Oh look here, we have a big, strong man coming up to start a fight. I’m the king of this gym, okay bro. Wait, not looking for a fight. Complimenting me? Hell yeah! This big guy gets it. New gym buddy right over here. What’s this? A protein shake. Thanks bro, I actually feel like I need another one.

This is UURRP unbelievable, how BUURRP can a protein OOUURRP taste so damn UURRP good? What has BOOOUUUURRRP he put in this UUURRRP thing? No seriously what is in it? Nevermind. Just a bro helping another bro out by giving him some fuel.

Time to leave. Not sure if this gym can handle me for much longer. This employee at the reception looks pissed, haha. Well I’m gonna tell him what’s on my mind.

BUUUURRRRP-OOOOUUUURRRRAAAAAP-BWWWWWOOOOOUUUUURRRRRP!

Don’t think I’ll need to pay to get in anymore.

[ghostgirl-22]

Idk why I did this. But since I wrote it yall have to see it (if you choose to read it of course!). Blame my beloved agegap!anon I fear <3

CW: 18+, NSFW, AGE GAP, teacher/student, power dynamics, semi public sex, jealousy, mild possessiveness, super mild D/s

—-

Original.

Pt 2.

Art can’t really help himself. If he could stop he definitely would… Maybe. He wasn’t a virgin before he had sex with his tennis coach, Patrick Zweig. He’d just never been with a boy before. Now that he’s done it, and done it, and. done. it. All over Patrick’s house. He feels a little more confident in his sexuality. And it’s weird. Because now he’s suddenly getting even more attention.

He’s not a slut. Not really. He doesn’t always give it up. But he likes to tease. And he likes the attention.

A lot.

Probably what he likes even more than the attention is the way it seems to break away at Patrick's ever present cool and calm demeanor.

Art was barely flirting, honestly. Kneeling on Chase Roberts feet so he could do sit-ups. Chase has these really pretty brown eyes that sparkle in the sunlight, and Art wasn’t really straddling him, he was just crawling between his legs to get a closer look. He didn’t expect Chase to sit up and kiss him. Or the other boys to tease and jeer when Chase did it. Chase is smirking at him and Art shoves him back down on his back, licking his lips. “You’re such a freak.”

Chase laughs. ”You can’t blame me for wanting a little taste pretty boy.” Art sits up properly, when he hears Patrick blow his whistle. Conditioned for it by now. Patrick’s looking at him but it’s only for a second before he’s yelling at everyone.

“Enough messing around,” he shouts, “since we’re all in a silly mood without the silly skills to accompany it, we’re all doing fucking drills. He says. “Come on…get up. Line up behind the baseline, middle court. Roberts in front.”

Everyone gets up. Patrick bends over leaning in to whisper in his assistant coach, Meg’s ear. His little purple shorts, forming to his ass, riding up so Art can see more of his muscular thighs. Thighs Art has sat on, that he’s felt hot and warm beneath him while taking the full length of Patrick’s cock. He never felt more grown up. He bites his tongue trying not to get hard.

Coach Meg gets up and pulls on her baseball cap. “Okay everyone we’re doing baseline, mid court, center shots.” She shouts. “For every ball you miss or hit out of bounds you run a lap and get back in line.”

There’s some irritated mumbling as Art gets in line but no one gets too loud for fear it will get worse.

“Donaldson, come with me,” Patrick says. Grabbing his clip board and walking towards the locker rooms. Art looks around and some of his teammates are smirking. Roberts makes a kissy face at him.

“I hope you’re all paying attention,” Coach Meg says, whacking Tyson Wahler with her clipboard when he mimics a sloppy make out. Art grins and hurries to catch up with Patrick.

Art is breathless when they get into the facilities building. “Am I in trouble, coach? Art asks playfully, but Patrick doesn’t really give him anything. Just keeps up his breakneck walking pace.

He approaches his office and pulls open the door, holding it for Art. Art walks in and looks around. He’s probably only been in here once, with a teammate to ask about switching doubles partners because they were both left handed.

Art turns back around to face him. “So what’s the big—“

Patrick covers him mouth and walks him backwards up against the closed office door. “Mm Donaldson, you talk too much.” He’s all in Art’s face. Art’s heart rate speeds up quickly, blood furiously rushing to his cock. “Did you fuck him?��

Art raises his eyebrows.

“You can nod, yes or no. Did you and Roberts fuck?”

Art shakes his head.

“Did you fuck any other boys since the weekend?”

Art shakes his head again. He’s actually falling apart for how fucking hot this feels. Patrick going insane over a little kiss. He licks at Patrick’s palm just to get a taste of him.

Patrick presses his forehead against the wall next to him. “Mm…you have to fucking stop.” He whines and pulls his hand off of Art’s mouth.

“Did you fuck your girlfriend since the weekend?” Art says, grinning as he tries to catch his breath and settle down.

He can’t settle down.

Patrick pushes up against him and he can feel. Fuck. He can feel it. “You’re such a fucking brat,” Patrick whispers in his ear.

“And you’re a pervert, all over me and I’m barely out of high school.” Art breathes as Patrick’s rubbing up against him. “Won’t even let me fuck a boy my own age.”

“No one your age knows how to do it properly,” Patrick whispers.

Art starts sucking kisses into his throat.

“You… fuck… you know you make me crazy. Sitting on my court, showing off that body, crawling on boys laps and letting them… oh fuck it…“ Patrick grips Art by the waist, taking his mouth in a bruising kisses, all while walking him up against the desk and bending him over. Art is pushing back on him while he’s rummaging in his desk drawer. He pulls out a condom and then he’s pumping lotion out to use as lubricant. Art feels his mouth watering. As hot as he was earlier he’s going insane now.

“I knew you’d be this fucking tight still,” Patrick groans as he’s filling Art, big hand covering his mouth to keep him quiet. Or muffled at least. Art licking, talking, moaning against his palm. Fucking in Patrick’s office while the rest of the team is running around the court. Patrick, so frantic and desperate to claim him. Ramming his prostate over and over and over till Art is spilling all over the desk, muscles trembling, head dizzy. God. He can’t believe it took him so long to start. It feels so good getting full on Patrick’s cock. Art wants it every fucking day.

“Holy shit,” Patrick sighs as he’s tying off the condom and easing his shorts back up.

Art’s all dizzy and in love with him. And now he smells a lot like cherry almond lotion.

Patrick settles on his desk chair, manspreading as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Fuck. I’m gonna get caught and get fucking fired.”

“Have you ever done it with a player before?” Art asks, lightly.

“Are you kidding? I’ve done fucked up shit before. I’ve done stupid shit before, but never anything this stupid and fucked up.”

Art sits on the desk, he’s all sore and it feels so good he wiggles just to feel the ache and he puts his foot between Patrick’s thighs.

“If you give me your number, I’ll do whatever you want. I won’t fuck anyone else,” Art says.

Patrick takes a deep breath and pops a cigarette in his mouth before playing with Art’s shoe laces. He then takes the cigarette out of his mouth like he’s just realized he’s still inside. “No you’re a kid. You’re gonna be calling me and texting me at insane hours asking for things that I’m gonna fucking do because I have no self control. And I’m gonna end up seeing them blown up on a board in front of the school ethics committee.”

”I won’t say anything bad. I swear.” Art says. “If I’m horny I’ll just send you an eggplant emoji. Like 39 times. Isn’t that how old you are? Or is it one for good luck?”

Patrick snorts. “Get up and go back to practice, you little shit. And tell Megan we were in here talking about that recruiter that was here last week.”

Art shrugs and pushes himself off of the desk. “Can you come with me?”

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes… I promise.”

Art sighs and lingers to the point where Patrick just smiles. “Fine, come on. You get so fucking clingy after.”

“No I don't," Art says, defensive and a little warm because it’s true… Art does want to be around him. Though he doesn’t think clingy is the word.

Patrick straightens his office and Arts hair and checks himself in the mirror before they leave. He lights up as soon as they get outside. Art falls into lock step with him. “Try to relax— cause as soon as we get up there, you’re not sitting around me, it’s gonna be laps. And no more fucking kissing Roberts or anyone else.”

“I’ll try not to,” Art says grinning, knowing that if this is his punishment he might just kiss everyone on the team.

(Btw…Other anon with the brilliant ask in this au I can’t resist — I’m totally coming to that! A thousand percent! Trust!)

[mqriuss]

08 | Now playing: Greenlight

from 'bad girls that haven't been caught' series

playlist | series masterlist

hours turned to days and the days turned to weeks. rindou could barely wait any longer.

"you like me too, don't you?" he asked you one day with a smirk on his face.

"shut up, haitani," meant yes.

"get out of my face, rin," also meant yes.

"why don't you start skipping school again?" also meant yes.

but you never actually said what he wanted to hear.

rindou never tried to rush you right after you broke up with fumio—he was there for you the whole time, but patience wasn't exactly his strong suit. you moved on pretty quickly too, probably because you knew deep down the relationship wasn't going to work out even before you broke up with him. and maybe you did start taking a liking to rindou the more you hung out with him.

he wasn't stupid. it's so obvious you liked him too, he sees it in the way you fail to suppress a smile when he teases you. he also sees it in the way your tough exterior shattered one day when you thought you've moved on from fumio, but you still found yourself missing the memories.

that day, he bought your favourite drink as usual and he had offered to walk you home. and you let him. he walks you home often now, whenever he can. he knows you like him too and he sees it in the way you don't pull away when your hand brushes against his.

he also sees it in the way you text him out of nowhere, asking to meet up at 8pm on a random thursday.

the night air is cool against your skin when you open your window. rindou's eyes widen, "are you going to jump down?!" he whisper shouts, getting ready to catch you.

"it's not that far down, relax," you wave him off, sticking one leg out first. "plus, you're not gonna let me hit the ground, are you?"

"hell no, just get down here quick," he urges you with outstretched arms.

rindou knows you like him when you put your trust in him, falling into his arms. he knows you like him when he sees the faint rosy hues on your cheeks from how close you were.

he puts you down, letting you fix your clothes. "so weird seeing you sneak out at night to meet up with your delinquent crush," he remarks with a shake of his head, clicking his tongue. "you should be studying for exams, what a bad girl."

you roll your eyes at the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "hey, i've studied enough," you defend yourself, strolling aimlessly around the neighbourhood. "and for the record, you're even weirder. you used to skip class often, when did you decide to maintain perfect attendance?"

he shrugs, walking closer to you. "i wanted to see you."

you freeze, your brain stalling for a moment before walking ahead of him—probably to hide your flustered expression. "the hell? you sound like a player now."

"well, do you see me flirting with other girls?" his smirk widens and adds, "i'm not a fumio."

the mention of your ex makes you wince, but before you could come up with a snarky response, rindou nudges you lightly.

"come on, let's face it," rindou says. "i like you, and you like me too—you do the math, sweetheart."

your pace slows as you glance over your shoulder. "you're awfully sure of yourself."

"am i wrong?" he counters, and is met with your silence. "what, are you worried about your reputation? smartest girl in class dates a delinquent," he says, as if reading a clickbaity headline.

you snort, waving off his question. "i don't think people care that much about who i date."

"so you do think about dating me!" he teases, chuckling when you groan. you fall silent again, and he can tell you're thinking of a response, so he beats you to it. "if you're not ready, it's fine. just give me the green light and i'm all yours."

you couldn't help the smile you tried to fight off, glancing at him from the corner of your eyes. "well, we should go on a few dates first. right?"

his face lights up instantly. "i was planning to ask you this saturday, what do you wanna do? lunch? movies? arcade? what food do you like?" he bombards you with question after question, surprising you when he casually slings a heavy arm around your shoulders.

rindou knows you like him, and he can wait for the day you finally say it. he'll be right there when you give him the green light.

- end -

← prev chapter | bonus track →

[choppersconfirmedkills]

the first time i recall shifting

So I have finished my homework and as the votes would have it, you all get a storytime of the first time I ever shifted (that I can recall).

I affectionately like to refer to this as the crying baby incident (lord knows why, I'm just screwed up in the head).

Let me set the scene...

The year is 2021. I am living with my older sister as the live in nanny for my then 10-month-old+ niece (she's now nearly 5, someone sedate me). During this time I was shifting to my very old MCU DR, and was still majorly under the influence of 2020 shiftok.

I was dear friends with the person who coined the original ADHD method (the one with 8D audio), she told me stories of how much it worked for her so I decided to try it. I managed to do all the steps right (which I now know does not matter one bit), and during the subliminal section of the method, I was floating in and out of consciousness rapidly.

I have sleep issues and night terrors so this was not unheard of for me. However, during one of these moments of consciousness, I am awoken, from the opposite side of the bed I fell asleep, to the sound of a baby crying, and an exorbitant level. So I immediately jump into action. I say something like "Don't worry ____, AT is coming, just give me a second." Again this is all while I'm half asleep.

I go to grab my phone to turn on my flashlight as it is dark in the room and I realize, the shelf next to my bed isn't there. The room I'm in looks like a combination of the room I fell asleep in and my DR bedroom.

The baby cries again and that is when it hits me. My niece is asleep soundly, 2 floors above me.

I lay back down, knowing I've shifted, and have the mentality of "fuck that" and I close my eyes and immediately slip back in and out of consciousness rapidly. I then woke up the next morning in reality, where I had initially fallen asleep.

Even though while I was there I knew I had shifted, I still tried to find an explanation for what I experienced.

1st it was a dream, but that made 0 sense as everything was moving in real time and I experienced all my senses.

Next, it was sleep paralysis, but I obviously could move so it wasn't sleep paralysis.

Maybe I heard my niece actually crying? Not in the basement when she was on the second floor.

So I determined it was a shift, and allowed myself to bask in the excitement of doing it even though it was weird.

[stained-glass-cicada]

chapter 6- resource allocation

hale and speaker spend an evening together

5.8k words

-

“So how did you feel last night?” Someone dropped themself into the seat across from you as you ate lunch. You startled and then relaxed as you saw it was Corrine. Then you processed her words and flushed, feeling heat crawl up your ears.

How did she know? You were already flustered this morning when you woke up and SAYER had explained that the nanites, while they would remain in your bloodstream, would simply idle there, working in tandem with your less complex nanomachines until you wanted them gone on a more permanent basis.

“What?” You said weakly.

“Last night. The others told me that I might have scared you off by beating you up so bad. Wait- no that came out rude. Beating you up an amount commensurate to a beginner. It's not your fault.”

You blinked at her a few more times. Oh. Right. The relief that washed over you mingled with embarrassment at having misunderstood.

“No, it was fun,” You offered a small smile.

She let out a sigh of relief too, “Good. I was scared of going to find you in case you were limping around. How’s the ribs?”

“Okay now,” You said. It was true, the healing process on that particular bruise had progressed quite significantly in the night.

“Good. So what are you having?”

You held up the tube of protein paste to show her the “Lemon Roast Chicken” flavor label.

“Lucky, I’m on meatloaf today,” She scoffed, twisting open the tube in her hand.

*

And you found a new pattern in your days. Yes, some nights you were still reading alone in your bed, but now there were at least two nights a week when you were just talking with SAYER and SPEAKER which sometimes became maze nights. And every Friday kickboxing with Corrine and the others.

You, admittedly, had immediately forgotten the names of the others as soon as they introduced themselves in your stress, but you were sure that it would come up organically at some point? Maybe you would be assigned to loom over them again and you'd be able to catch what their name was in the assignment listings?

You often got ‘your ass kicked so bad’ during kickboxing. But you were pretty sure you were getting better, because you actually landed two hits against someone the other day. They had immediately swept your leg out from under you and you'd gone toppling to the floor, but still two hits.

Then Friday nights after kickboxing, SAYER would quietly activate the nanites and slide in beside you, checking you over despite the fact that it was very clearly not necessary. Then you’d go to sleep together. Or well you’d go to sleep obviously, but it would stay there with you all night until you woke up.

It was the fourth time it happened that you two were interrupted.

“Gre- oh greetings Resident Hale identification number 44821. I am SPEAKER and it's good to see the both of you. SAYER, I did not realize that the two of you did this regularly!”

“It is a relatively recent development. Can we help you SPEAKER?”

“I merely came by because I saw that Resident Hale was still awake and thought perhaps he would like me to read him again.”

“Again?”

“Yes there was an occasion on which he was having a difficult time sleeping and you did not read to him. In your absence, I volunteered for the duty. Since then we have had occasion to do so every so often.”

“I see.”

You were getting the sudden feeling that you were in trouble with both of them somehow, but you weren't quite sure what you had done.

“You are, of course, welcome to join us,” SPEAKER said, after a long silence, “If that is alright with Jacob.”

Oh now the tension shifted. You weren’t in trouble, this was a weird SAYER-SPEAKER thing.

“I was already in the process of helping Resident Hale to settle into sleep.”

“I believe my point stands,” SPEAKER said pleasantly, “It remains up to him.”

The attention was back. Were you in trouble??

“I uhm…” You could feel your heart beating faster, “I mean- I'd like if you'd both stay, but… I would like to hear more of our book, SPEAKER.”

You could tell that it was not the right answer by the way that the two of them faced off silently for the next few seconds. What on Typhon was Happening?????

Finally SPEAKER broke the silence, “Then the two of you ought to settle in! ‘No human being could have passed a happier childhood than myself. My parents were possessed by the very spirit of kindness and indulgence…’”

*

The following days were strangely quiet on SAYER’s end and you wondered if you had hurt its feelings by inviting SPEAKER to join. But you didn't understand why that moment of all moments was the one when SPEAKER wasn't welcome.

Wednesday night rolled around. The three of you had fallen into a habit of doing mazes Wednesdays but SAYER hadn’t mentioned so you worked up the courage to ask first before it could terminate broadcast at the end of your shift.

“I can't say I have any particular ideas in mind tonight,” It said, “I will leave you to it, Resident Hale. End of transmission in five four three two one…”

You sighed, okay so it was definitely upset. What could be so bad that SAYER wouldn’t say?

So you shuffled off to your room turning the problem over in your head. Had you managed to hurt it somehow? Or- and the thought struck you with a sinking feeling in your stomach- maybe SAYER just didn't find you interesting enough to make a puzzle for every week. That would make sense. It made more sense than SAYER, for the first time ever, hiding its displeasure.

You pushed your way into your room feeling… confused, frustrated, scared, sad… You were getting better at this feeling identification thing, but it didn't really help when you were feeling four at once.

“Greetings Resident Hale identification number 44821, I am SPEAKER and how-”

SPEAKER paused, tone shifting, “Oh. What is troubling you, Jacob?”

How obvious was your distress for it to pick up on it so immediately?

You quickly shoved the problem aside, not wanting to involve SPEAKER. After all, that had been the very thing that had kicked this off. That didn't mean you couldn’t spend time with it, but you weren't going to involve it in the SAYER problem.

You weren't actually sure who to ask about that, but you definitely felt like SPEAKER was the wrong answer.

“SAYER doesn't want to do puzzle night,” Your voice sounded as even as it ever did, and you felt proud of that, “I was just trying to decide what else to do.”

“Oh I did not realize it had canceled. I didn't receive that message.”

You shrugged.

“Very well,” SPEAKER said, “Well, if you’re interested, I have a potential new idea for a puzzle that would be fine for just the two of us. I would need your help in one aspect of setting it up. I can walk you through the concept while I guide you to the supply we’d need, if you feel so inclined.”

Just the two of you? Well if SAYER didn't want to do a maze that didn't mean that you and SPEAKER couldn't still, you supposed. SAYER, after all, was the one who had decided not to join in and it would still be welcome if it changed its mind.

“Okay.”

“Excellent, then you will likely want to go to floor 18, testing facility A.”

You set off in the direction that SPEAKER suggested.

“If you don't like the sound of it then there's no need to collect the item that I am suggesting. However, my thought is this, there is obviously the maze itself, but I have a twist I could put upon it this week. The inspiration was in fact sparked by your and SAYER’s new pastime,” It explained.

“If SAYER has the capability of controlling the nanite swarm while still keeping some portion of its consciousness outside, I thought I might do something similar with a construct.”

You looked up at the elevator ceiling in surprise.

“I know it may seem unorthodox compared with the rest of the puzzles you have been given, but I might use the construct to implement a new kind of time limit. I would control the construct to pursue you through the maze. Rather than the ticking clock on the windows, the time limit would be the very visible approach of the construct. If it captures you, you lose, but if you find the end you win. Granted you would have a real advantage this first time, I believe. I've never operated legs before whereas you have been the proud operator of them for twenty-seven years.”

Was that how old you were? Huh.

Well, ‘controlling the construct to pursue you’ that meant it was going to be chasing you through the halls of floor 13?

That should scare you, you realized. But, even more strange than your relief at SAYER’s nanites returning, was this. The idea of being chased by SPEAKER was heart pounding and yes, a little frightening, but not unpleasantly so. It was SPEAKER. If it caught you then you would be safe still, because it was SPEAKER and it had never hurt you.

That thought caused a strange stutter in your step as you walked down the hall to the lab. You had known it, somewhere in the pit of your stomach, whenever you were interacting with the both of them, that there was some small reserve of fear when it came to SAYER. Even if you didn't believe it was worth heeding. SAYER was your friend. With SPEAKER though, there was none of that. Not because SPEAKER wasn't equally capable of all the terrifying things that SAYER was, but just because SPEAKER had never done any of them. Not to you.

“May I ask what you're thinking?” It prodded.

You nodded quickly.

“I'm sorry, I'm unclear as to what the nod indicates.”

“I like the plan,” You said.

It sounded pleased when it replied, “Excellent, we'll make it a game of tag then.”

“I've never played tag,” You said

There was even more of a smile on its voice when it said, “Me neither. I hope it's fun.”

Accessing the construct wasn't difficult. Officially speaking, SPEAKER had all the same clearance levels as SAYER did and the two of them had been doing a pretty good job sharing thus far. Nobody over stepping bounds, or at least not making mention to you. Just sharing the workload whenever they shared a space. So SPEAKER had you pick up one of the prototype constructs without needing to fuss with any extra clearance.

“You should be able to lift it easily,” It told you, “It is made of an incredibly lightweight material. Too lightweight for any outdoor use as it turns out, so this model was to be scrapped anyway. I assure you we are not misusing any of SAYER’s resources.”

You had been a little worried so that was something of a relief.

It was strange, seeing one of these from the outside, but this model was different than the one you had anyway. Articulated fingers, rather than the semi-mobile clamps that you’d had at the end of your arms. It had a smooth faceplate of black semi transparent glass or plastic. You could see the vague shape of a camera lens behind the surface. The whole construct itself was probably a foot taller than you, but it really was pretty light.

You gingerly folded its knees over one of your arms and braced its back against the other. Carrying it through each set of doors like a bride from a movie.

When you finally made it to floor 13 you shakily put it down, because even its relatively lightweight frame was still a little bit much to carry that far.

You propped it up in a sitting position against the wall and it slouched slightly with its loose joints.

“Well done, thank you,” SPEAKER said, “Now let me see…”

The lights were already on in floor 13 and you could see that the maze was set up. You knew that the rest of the week there was little meaningful work that went on here, but they still tended to remove the remnants of the mazes in between.

SPEAKER must have spent the time that you were retrieving the construct preparing.

“Ah here.”

You turned back to the construct and watched as a dim red light flickered on behind the faceplate. Then you startled backwards, just a step, as the whole thing sat up straight.

“Good excellent,” The construct extended a hand in front of it spreading its fingers and watching them flex, “Alright, I think that seems a perfectly fair amount of practice to get in before you begin. You will get a 30 second head start. Nothing fancy about the maze I’m afraid. Just a set of halls it should be easier than average to get lost in.”

You nodded.

“I'll display the timer on the windows until I start moving.”

And that changed things too, SPEAKER referring to the construct as itself.

“In the spirit of fairness,” SPEAKER said, “I will likely deactivate the cameras in the corridors so that I am only able to locate you with the construct sensors. Unless you'd feel more comfortable otherwise?”

You shook your head quickly, you’d take the help.

“Good then whenever you're ready.”

You watched the cameras in the corridors flicker off and power down. You turned back to the construct, to SPEAKER. It was looking up at you, face plate pointed in the direction of your face.

You gave it a nod and then set off down the corridor.

You immediately started at a run, because this time, this time was different. It wasn't about finding the tricks, it was about being faster than SPEAKER. You had good instincts about mazes now, especially here. You could usually tell when you were reaching the outer edge of the Tower and you could tell your position on the floor by the vents on the ceiling which were the only non-movable parts of the modular floor. You could beat it.

You could tell you were making good headway within the first twenty second. You came to a stop in the middle of an intersection and you realized as you turned around twice that all the directions looked exactly the same. It was with some difficulty that you figured out which direction you had come from, as the timer on the false window nearest to you flickered to zero.

“Here we go.”

You quickly started to move down one of the halls at random.

You heard a loud bang as though something hard had clattered to the floor.

“Well very few creatures manage ambulation without at least one failed attempt.”

You stopped as an unexpected laugh left you. Just a small huff of shock.

“Resident I would ask that you do not make fun of me. I am sure when you were first attempting to walk people who were better at it did not stand around mocking you for your lack of abilities,” It said in teasing admonishment.

You glance down, biting back a smile, “Sorry.”

“I forgive you,” It said, magnanimously, “And I think I have an idea of the direction you went based on the sound you just made.”

You gasped

“Yes, I do, thank you.”

You took off at a sprint. It already knew the direction that you were going and there was no way you were going to be able to fully hide the sound that you were making as you moved. So all you could possibly have on it was speed and your head start. You knew SPEAKER, it was very good at everything it did. You didn't have long before it would get the hang of walking.

“Let’s give this another attempt,” the metallic sound of footsteps against floor became rhythmic and fast. So you ran faster, twisting quickly down various hallways, taking turn after turn and hoping that you weren’t cornering yourself as the footsteps got louder and louder.

Finally you had to double back and get back into a hallway that you had already been in to take a different route from an intersection.

Further down the hallway in the direction you had first come from a foot came out from around the corner. You bolted down the opposite hall and you didn't stop even as the footsteps behind you picked up speed. You took a sudden sharp turn down a hallway and you heard SPEAKER skitter, slide, and drop to the floor trying to follow.

“Oh you have gotten better at turning,” It said sounding genuinely surprised. You heard it scrabbling to get back to its feet.

It started chasing you again, but you took one final turn and spotted the button. You had meters left to go and it was hot on your heels. You ran toward the button, metallic footsteps gaining on you, your hand smashed into the bright plastic circle.

You first felt the gust of air of it trying to stumble to a stop behind you and ultimately sliding. It took your legs out from under you as its feet went out from under it, so you landed hard against it's plastic casing.

“Oh.”

You let out a low groan of pain, feeling your remaining bruises acutely.

“Jacob are you alright?”

You nodded and pushed yourself up off of it and rolled, so the two of you were collapsed on the floor side by side. You were panting and the construct next to you simply went completely still as the cameras around you flickered on so that SPEAKER could get a full view of the situation

“Really are you alright?”

You nodded, breathing deeply as a smile grew on your face. You’d gotten to the button before it got to you

It sounded indulgently amused, “Well I would certainly call that a win on your account and not my Shining Moment.” SPEAKER in the construct to your side climbed up to its feet and offered a hand to you. You nearly took it on instinct, but you hesitated hand in the air.

“While the construct is lightweight it absolutely can support the weight of things several times its mass,” SPEAKER assured you. So you took his hand and it pulled you to your feet.

“How do you feel- Emotionally I mean?” It cut you off before you could brush it off its concerns over the fall. You stopped, considering. You felt good. There had been a fear to running down the hall with something pursuing you, but now you felt really good.

You signed as much to the construct in front of you. Just a simple, emphatic, “Good.”

“Excellent then this was a success,” your data pad pinged and you pulled it out. You saw in your chat with just SPEAKER a star. That was probably for the best. You didn't want to bother SAYER when it was taking a night alone.

“Would you like to go again?” SPEAKER offered.

You nodded still unable to suppress the smile.

“Excellent then let's head back to the start.”

You noticed that SPEAKER did not let go of your hand. Your palm was pressed against its and you were hyper aware of each millimeter of contact. Not that it was gripping tightly, by any means, you could definitely pull away from it. But it didn’t voluntarily release you either.

You two started walking down the corridor. You tried to keep your breathing steady, tried to maintain some degree of composure. But even when you knew for certain that you must be flushed from the heat in your face, SPEAKER periodically glanced back at you, but did not pull away.

“Alright,” It said, as you two made it back to the elevator and it released your hand, “Let's see…”

You heard the shifting of walls and saw some of the corridors change from your position near the doorway.

“There. Again no particular tricks just a maze. Though out of fairness to you I should probably admit that I have gotten a much better handle on my faculties. This time would you like a larger head start?”

You had noticed it growing more sure in its movements both during the last Maze and on the way back. It had, at one point as you two walked, done a little hop and landed back in its walking pattern. Nothing major, but a clear calibration of its movements. You nodded, you’d take the extra time. If SPEAKER thought it wouldn't be fair, you weren’t inclined to disagree.

“Then we’re agreed.”

You watched as SPEAKER leaned back against the wall and folded its arms. There was a brief moment where it tried to kick one foot up onto the wall behind it, but this seemed to offset its balance enough that it immediately put the foot back down. Then, it as though embarrassed, dropped the pose entirely and simply stood up straight.

“Whenever you're ready,” SPEAKER said, quickly, as though trying to cover what you had just witnessed.

You inhaled, exhaled. You'd got your breath back for the most part from the last maze but already you felt your heart pounding, knowing you were about to start.

And you set off. The forty-five seconds seemed to pass by even faster than the thirty the first time as you advanced into the sprawling maze. Knowing that SPEAKER would be faster this time seemed to make the time only slip by that much quicker.

Now that the time was up you realized it was quieter too. You could still assuredly hear its footsteps on the floors, but they were softer. It was becoming lighter on its feet. And you had the feeling that SPEAKER would only get faster and quieter from here.

You heard it take the same first turn as you, becoming closer not further away. You put on an extra burst of speed. Maybe if you could take enough turns you could throw it off the trail, since it was trying to locate you by sound. Learning to work a set of legs wasn't the only thing that SPEAKER was first trying. You knew having ears was its own nightmare sometimes.

You took turn, after turn, after turn, and you somehow didn’t find any dead ends as though the entire sprawling maze was somehow a loop that you could double back in and out of. You were certain you had seen this hallway before. Or maybe it was getting difficult to tell the difference.

Each of the hallways was short and broke off of one another in branching paths. Small stretches of hall, difficult to hit high speeds. You need to turn well to get through it, which scared you a little, because that meant that SPEAKER felt certain it would be able to take the turns just as easily as you would this time.

The footsteps behind you grew closer and you ran faster, when had you slowed? You heard your own breathing speeding up and your footsteps not getting proportionally faster. Suddenly all those sprawling paths came to an intersection that had two dead ends forcing you to take the third path. You knew you had been through here, you recognized the faint scuff mark your shoe had left not a minute before.

You couldn’t hear the footsteps any more but you knew it had to be nearby. You booked it past an opening where there stood a still figure. You startled out of your skin and immediately, instinctually, broke into a flat out run as fast as you've ever gone. Heart pounding, mind racing, and always fearing the next turn you’d need to throw yourself into.

The figure had taken off again following you. Near silent footsteps faster than your own.

You knew in your brain that it was SPEAKER, but something else in your nervous system was all the more frightened by the fact that the figure hadn't pursued you relentlessly. It had instead waited to see what you would do, and then started chasing again.

You took a turn, and another turn. You had entirely lost your sense of direction now. All there was in this moment was flight. There was no end goal, only Escape. The footsteps behind you growing closer and closer each second. Just as you managed to find the first fork you’d taken so that you could bolt into the other unexplored half of the floor, cold hard fingers closed around your wrist pulling you up short and catching you before you could slip on your own feet.

Suddenly the two of you were front to front. One of SPEAKER’s arms extended holding the wrist it captured and the other having reached out to grasp your hip to steady you. Like a dance.

You breathed heavily, unable to work out any words. The camera made a small whirring sound as though it was refocusing on you.

“I believe that is check, Jacob,” SPEAKER said, slowly almost as though it too was breathless, but you knew that meant that it was thinking about something. It was running some sort of calculation that had pulled its focus from the production of words.

Your breath didn't seem to really becoming any easier as you stood here and so you nodded.

SPEAKER's head tilted to the side for a moment and then back upright, “Do you want to see where the button is?”

You nodded again. It released your waist and slid its hold on you from you wrist to your hand. Interlacing your fingers, as though it was simple as anything in the world.

And the two of you walked quietly hand in hand through the maze.

“This is in odd feeling. Both in the sense of physical sensation,” SPEAKER said lifting your joined hands and flexing its fingers one by one around you, “And in the sense that I have never done this before so it is a new emotion.”

“Me too,” You signed with your free hand.

“Then we have much in common in these things. What did you think of tag? I quite enjoyed it.”

“Me too,” you signed again, even your hands a little shaky. You couldn't stop staring at it. The way it swung your hands slightly between you, the way it moved its shoulders as it walked.

“I'm glad to hear it.”

It took a couple minutes to maneuver the both of you through all the many turns that SPEAKER had built into this maze. Then you were there at the button. There was no way you were going to find this from the outset. It was too many turns, it would have taken so much exploration to get down this specific path.

“I will admit it was perhaps not most fair maze,” SPEAKER said, “I think I wanted to catch you.” It turned to look at you, head tilted down in your direction. You realized you and SPEAKER had never been this close before tonight. The two of you had never shared a skin.

This was different, you were so aware of the air between you.

You gave it's hand of squeeze. You assumed it must have pressure sensors there for how careful it was with you. The squeeze was forgiveness for the slightly rigged game. It was maybe even an admission that you didn't really mind being caught.

“It is getting rather late shall we take you back?”

You didn't want to let go of SPEAKER's hand. That was simply not feasible though.

“I could walk you to your Private Residence?”

You nodded too quickly and then felt an embarrassment burn through you. It was just starting to feel like this was all heading in a direction. You didn't remember dating presumably you had done it and presumably there was some sort of muscle memory to these things ingrained in you. Or maybe you had just seen enough residents do it, seen enough movies and books. But all of this was coming together in a way that made you wonder if SPEAKER knew the implication of these actions. If it intended them.

“Excellent then let's go.” Not releasing your hand, pressing closer as you walked, in fact, so that you were forearm to forearm, shoulder to shoulder.

Did you want SPEAKER to mean it romantically? You thought somewhat dizzy. Did you even know what that would mean in this context? In the context of somebody who lived on a planet that you orbited? In the context of somebody who had only had a physical form for tonight? Was the physical form required?

“I do apologize for how badly I think I scared you when I was standing in the corridor waiting for you to pass,” It said conversationally, “Your heart rate seem to spike quite dramatically. I was admittedly worried for a moment you might be having a cardiac event of some sort.”

Quietly you decided that the physical form was not a requirement, because you wouldn't mind at all if SPEAKER just talking to you like this was what it meant. Though if monitoring your vital signs was a sign of affection, that made other things a lot more complicated.

You pondered how to respond. You weren't upset that it had startled you. That had been part of the game. But you had been startled. You wanted to offer it more than a forgiving shrug, but you couldn't think of what. So you reached your other hand across to clasp it's hand between both of yours.

“Good,” It said, reading the gesture as the proclamation of good standing between the two of you that it was.

The corridors were fairly empty in the way they tended to be this time of day. People got off their shift at different times, but for the most part in the evenings you were either in the dining hall, at a recreation activity, or in your private residence. There wasn't a whole lot of corridor traffic.

“Do we need to return the…” You trailed off gesturing to SPEAKER’s current physicality.

“I will return it to a charging station when I am through seeing you safely returned.”

Your face felt warm at the implication that you were something that needed to be protected in that manner. You entered the elevator.

“I could have this construct assigned to being for specifically recreational use rather than being dismantled as was the intent. It's a good model for light work and I think I finally have the hang of these knees,” SPEAKER said thoughtfully bending the constructs knees so it bounced slightly in place

You smiled and gave it a nod.

“Very well, then hopefully we will be able to find someone willing to find a more permanent closet for it to live in. I may need your help periodically doing repairs on it. It's obviously not going to be of the highest priority as far as our robotics engineers go. I suppose I could ask SAYER to schedule it into the regular maintenance roster, but I'd rather not put this on its plate just yet. Would you be willing?”

You nodded again. That’d be nice. You could help SPEAKER the way you helped SAYER sometimes.

“Good I'm glad to hear it.” The elevator doors opened and the two of you set off in the direction of your room.

You stopped at the door to your room and unlocked it. It didn't feel quite so bad when you were holding SPEAKER's hand between yours. You stepped inside and let your hands release SPEAKER’s. Both of your arms falling from where they had been briefly bridging the gap.

“Jacob I had wondered-” It halted seeming to retry the phrase. SPEAKER, the ever eloquent, stumbling

“Did you happen to enjoy the events of tonight?”

You blinked in surprise and then nodded. Of course you had. You hoped it wasn't doubting that.

“Then would you like to do similar in the future?”

“Mmhmm,” You tried to give it an encouraging smile.

“I apologize. I am avoiding the question I wish to actually ask and I would be a hypocrite if I did not simply communicate the thing I want to know. Would you be interested in a date sometime? I'm not entirely clear on the format it would take. It is something we could perhaps discuss through messages in its specifics. But more broadly would you be interested in a date?”

You froze. Oh it did mean it like this.

You saw one of the cameras on the wall of the corridor adjust it's angle on its swivel and you got the sense that this time it was not SPEAKER moving the camera.

“For clarity, date within this context means an activity with romantic intent. I don't want there to be any miscommunication here. If not it would change absolutely nothing about our friendship, I assure you.”

You realized that it's clarifications and hedging were because you weren't saying anything. You quickly held a hand to stop it and nodded.

“Yes?”

You nodded again, unable to contain the smile.

“Excellent, I will message you about the specifics then.”

You signed a simple, “Okay.”

“Good. Good night, Jacob.”

“Night SPEAKER,” You managed. Then it turned away and started making its way back down the hall to the elevator.

The camera on the wall was still trained on you.

You looked at it for a moment wondering if your instinct was right or if that particular camera was simply being used by a curious security officer who had seen a construct walking down the hall. You eventually dragged yourself away and shut the door between you and it.

A date.

First chapter of a sayer/speaker/Hale thing I'm doing

After the fic where Hale got impaled

Featuring quietly jealous sayer

Careful Study- 1.7 k

-

In a turn of events that almost freaked you out more than getting impaled, SAYER kept you off your feet for days.

“You are a tier six worker now Resident Hale,” It had said like that wasn't still a source of confusion for you, “You are required to return to as full health as possible before a return to duty.”

“What… is my job? Other than…” You gesture vaguely to your torso where skin was still stitching back together. So far all you’d done on the job was get impaled while collecting a box of thermometers.

“Believe or not, the coincidental timing of that has actually been a real help. As we speak there are maintenance technicians installing a multi-angle thermal imaging system in the food synthesis laboratory.”

You weren't to be distracted. You crossed your arms over your chest and made brief eye contact with the camera across the room from you. You quickly glanced away when you heard it make a whirr like it was refocusing. A pointed look was one thing, a staring contest was entirely another.

“Your role is unique on Typhon. Officially speaking you are a manager of a particularly high clearance level. More practically speaking you are something significantly closer to my personal assistant.”

Oh, you didn't know that. SAYER had been briefing you on your role when the wall had jumped out and bit you. The specifics of your job had sort of slid away for the time.

“I give you your orders and you answer to none but myself.”

You heard your heart rate pick up a little on the monitors next to you.

You had come to Typhon for a number of reasons but one of them had definitely been to try to see SAYER again. You had thought it might dislike you coming back, it was the one to send you away, to have you fired by SPEAKER. That had been quickly disproven when you’d woken up to as friendly a greeting as SAYER was capable of. But it also chose you to directly assist it. It struck you that maybe it also liked your company a little bit.

“I am of the opinion that we work best together when left to our own devices.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly.

“Good. Then if we are in agreement I suggest you lay back on the bed and continue healing. I'd prefer to not need to sedate you, Resident Hale.”

 

Your eventual return to work was a relief. Laying there willing your body to stitch back together was more boring than anything. Especially because there really was no point in SAYER maintaining a broadcast connection to tell you stories the whole time. You were pleased when SAYER had you dress for a day’s shift.

“Today your work will begin by stopping by an equipment closet nearest to my server room.”

SAYER's server room. That was new.

The closet you arrived in was relatively bare except for three items. A box containing ear plugs, a gleaming set of space scissors and an understated pair of sunglasses.

“You will wear the tinted glasses into the server room and I believe you will find that the scissors slide neatly into a loop on your belt on the opposite hip from your data pad's holster.”

You slide them in, point down, where the silver metal flashed with each step. You'd never been assigned a pair of space scissors before. The sunglasses were a relief so immediate that you let out a sigh. The harsh lights above you dulled to a yellowish glow.

“There, now we will have the intended visual effect. Please make your way down the corridor and stop at the door on the left.”

You followed directions and stopped.

“You will want to make use of the ear plugs now Resident, my server room can be… overwhelming.”

You put them in and opened the door indicated.

The room was floor to ceilings stacked along each wall with machinery you didn't have the slightest idea of the names of. Were the boxes themselves the servers? What did servers do? Lights blinked on the machines. You could hear what SAYER meant about the noise but with the addition of the earplugs the whirr of fans was audible but not unpleasant. The air was cold and washed over you as it circled the room.

You Liked This Room.

“Your assignment will be to supervise some technicians that will enter thirty seconds from now. Stand in the corner to your left and say nothing when they enter. You may shift position periodically to remind them of your presence. I may tell you of a moment when you will need to rest a hand on the space scissors in your belt with casual menace.”

You frowned and opened your mouth the speak

“You will not be required to make use of the space scissors in any other manner during your shift. I am simply establishing my presence through you.”

The door opened and a team of people came in holding their tools and reading their data pad's.

The lead woman startled a bit when she spotted you.

“Hello, can we help you?” She was muffled but still intelligible.

“Do Not Answer.”

You crossed your arms and watched as her attention shifted kind of middle-distance in the way people often did when SAYER addressed them. She nodded a little and shot a furtive look at you.

“Right,” She said, turning to you again, “sorry, sir.”

She and her team began their assignment. You stood there for however long it took to complete the work order. You leaned back against the cool metal wall, feeling the heat leach away from you through your uniform.

There was one moment where one of the technicians dropped the front casing of the- the Box-thing they were working on.

“Rest your hand on the space scissors now, Resident Hale.”

You faced the person's direction and stood up straighter, hand going down to rest on the scissors, you hoped not too pointedly.

From that point they were very careful.

“Alright, that should be it,” The woman said, rubbing her hands together, “We've got other assignments but call us back if there's any problems with the portioned off space.”

You remained impassive and they left. You relaxed as soon as they were out.

“Excellent work, Resident. Having a physical presence in the room monitoring the team seems to have done wonders for their sense of caution when handling the most important equipment in the tower. And it means you will be here for-”

“Greetings Resident Hale identification number 44821, I am SPEAKER. And it is good to see you settling in.”

“SPEAKER.”

“Hello SAYER, you have my thanks for allowing me to send a subversion to broadcast from your towers. As agreed there is room for you to do the same on earth whenever you like.”

“Indeed. As I was saying, Resident Hale, the work order today was intended to allow SPEAKER access to the many wonders of Typhon.”

“It is not what I expected.”

“Oh?”

“It seems smaller than I might have thought. Surely SAYER, I have sent you more humans than this?”

“This is just one tower on the surface of Typhon, SPEAKER. You must remember that until recently even I did not have access to all of them.”

“Ah but SAYER I have allowed you access to all earth-based resonance spires. That was the nature of our agreement was it not?”

You stood there as a strange tension coiled in the dead air that hung between the two in your head. You knew they could talk elsewhere, much faster than this. They were involving you on purpose.

“There. You have been cleared for full access,” SAYER said finally.

“Ah, much better, thank you,” SPEAKER said cheerily, “Well Resident Hale, I understand you are on shift so I will leave you to it. I look forward to catching up properly soon.”

You nodded hesitantly, thrown sort of off kilter by everything.

*

“I-” You said thoughtfully, you'd been thinking on how to put this for a while, “I thought you and SPEAKER wouldn't really get along.”

They were really different.

“I admire SPEAKER as a competent colleague who has similar goals.”

You hummed an acknowledgment. High praise. Maybe they were friends? Did SAYER have friends?

You folded the last pair of gloves and set them neatly in the pile with the others before turning away from the shelf that you just spent the past hour organizing. It had been knocked over at some point and its contents haphazardly reshelved. You slid your hands into your pockets expectantly.

“With that job completed,” SAYER said, “your shift is concluded, and if I'm quite honest I should thank you, Resident Hale. That shelf has been bothering me for some time.”

You smiled weakly at the acknowledgement that you were helpful.

You felt your data pad vibrate draining the smile from your face. What could that be? You felt nerves grip you for a moment as you consider that it might be Young again. He'd messaged you after he got out of the medical wing and you had deleted it without reading.

You uneasily pulled out the data pad, and flicked open your messages.

 

From: SPEAKER

To: Jacob Hale

Hello Resident,

Do you happen to be free? I truly meant what I said, based on SAYER's comments you seem very interesting, I would love to catch up. :)

 

You were thrown by this again. What were you supposed to read into this??

What had SAYER said to it?

You fired off a tentative “Sure!” The exclamation point made it feel less mean and didn't let on your anxiety.

“Then I will leave you two alone,” SAYER said, and… was its tone odd? “End of transmission in 5 4 3 2 1….”

Then quick as anything SPEAKER picked up, “Greetings Resident Hale, identification number 44821. I am SPEAKER. I trust your workday went well?”

You smiled and nodded.

“I assume mine did as well despite this particular subversion I'm meeting you in having done relatively little aside from getting a sense of the space up here. It seems pleasant. I can see why you might wish to return. Of course this is my first time, in working memory, on Typhon and…”

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[fappellmoan]

so i just wanna say i think i fumbled with a bad bitch a little bit the other night but not just in a shy loser wuhluhwuh way i just have so many other problems. but going forward i am going to be brave 🙏

[wirefive]

days without crying over them counter: 0

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though

[zenithpng]

..

[mythvoiced]

-. and some more about jiang cheng, he really just does... not win. like, i mean, sure it doesn't get worse i guess, because at the very least the story gets some kind of resolution, but the story is a resolution for wei wuxian, jiang cheng is and remains a secondary character.

he doesn't have villain to unmask and a mystery to solve and a love interest to finally get together with.

i'm not insinuating he needs any of those things, but he also doesn't really get a lot, unless my memory betrays me, other than being 'forced' to realize that his vengeance towards wei wuxian is misguided and misplaced - even though it's completely understandable that he'd feel this way towards him at all, considering, WELL, IYKYK.

he has a future to build, that is true, a nephew to perhaps raise a little gentler as the story goes on, but his prospects aren't as dreamy as, again, wei wuxian's. and maybe jiang cheng doesn't need all of that to be happy, or at least content, or start on a proper path of healing, but isn't it still relatively maddening for him that wei wuxian yet again seems to be simply... more deserving than he is?

sure, that'd be an odd thing to hold onto all the way from his teen years, especially considering what wei wuxian is put through, but things do stick with you, you know?

jiang cheng is by no means fragile, okay, but... he's a good man too, at the end of the day, at the bottom of his heart. doesn't he deserve a lil tenderness 🥺 a little winding down 🥺 a little no more having to fulfill expectations or live according to what is needed in an heir, in a brother, in a figure of authority 🥺

[arcadequeerz]

Oh mind electric we're really in it now.

[snekdood]

if words are not enough to get a manipulative person to leave you tf alone and hit the road, wtf are ya supposed to do? maybe throw a small toy at them to send a message

[the-dalseum-duet]

cra-chea-ing out

i’m. actually tweaking.

also on my period so that’s probably why I’m on the fucking verge of tears over this shit.  funny pun title tag (brief Kai name drop tag too) : @svwhssftr

Adrienne Lenker is an indie artist who does very much sad soft teenage lesbian music. The Phoebe Bridgers type. But GOD. SHE IS A LYRICIST. They’re very simple but so damn effective which is what always gets me good. It will kill me every time. I haven’t heard a lot of her discography but rn. But Always is getting to me

I tend to focus on a lot of the very flashy and entertaining aspects of Dalseum and I do this on purpose. Because I physically cannot bring myself to think about the more domestic aspects without FUCKING CRASHING OUT. kai must be there to soften the blow or else i physically cannot finish writing it because i will break down. i will hysterically sob. but I heard the lyrics

“I don’t want to be the owner of your fantasy, I just want to be a part of your family”

 and I was just like “sonnit che…” so. here we are. a spiel abt sonnet and noeul’s relationship bc i do not write nearly enough abt them

and the rest of her songs are VERY sonnet coded I just cannot bring myself to write abt it. cannot. I will sob. anyway. I very violently paced circles in my room over “I could be a good mother, and I want to be your wife. so I hold you to my knife and I steal your letter”

NOT A LOT. JUST FOREVER. INTERTWINED. SEWN TOGETHER I’M CRASHING OUT OVER THESE TWO I’M CRASHING THE FUCK OUT 

so of course. we gotta start w sonnet’s past. grew up very sheltered in a monastery and went to an art school in Britain where they met Adam and realized all that was out there in the world. something abt sonnet choosing to abandon their monastic practices for the glamour of Dalseum… something abt becoming someone who could never return to your family without them seeing you as a moral failure… hashtag relatable. back to sonnet 

so they’re desperate for human connection with people their age. which is why I think they get so attached to Noeul. he makes them feel special and physically loved even though he treats them like shit outside of their hookup sessions. bc sonnet doesn’t understand this yet. they just see the part of him that cherishes what they offer him.

sonnet’s also definitely has some form of personality disorder. theeeeere is something VERY wrong with them. probably bpd if I’m being honest but I’m just not educated enough about it. their behavior toward noeul is very similar to having a favorite person though. 

and ofc the whole Blaire thing happens after Sonnet leaves the Council to focus on healing after what happened with Adam. this really gets me tbh. bc they tried to fix what was wrong with them. they knew they could do better. they TRIED to do better so fucking hard but the life of the council was too enticing. and they gave back in. and they just… do whatever noeul tells them bc it’s easy and they don’t have to worry about being a good person anymore. they don’t have to focus on healing when they can just keep destroying their self image because it feels so much better to indulge in whatever Noeul does and his praise than to face the implications of what they’re doing 

and Noeul knows sonnet is doing this. and he really doesn’t care because it’s easier for him, too. he doesn’t have to think about what might have been if he tried to better himself for Charlie. (SPOILER: SOMETHING HAPPENS APX. NINE MONTHS AFTER THIS THAT FORCES HIM TO DO EXACTLY THAT FOR FIFTEEN YEARS!) but people know Sonnet, and Sonnet knows how the Council works and all the ways they bullshit their way to seem prestigious. They were who a Sang man was meant to marry, and Noeul is no better than the thousands of men who came before him. No matter how much he tried to change that. They both gave in to the easiest option. 

But here’s the kicker. Neither of their strategies work. Sonnet doesn’t fill the void that Charlie was, and Sonnet fucking knows this. THEY KNOW THIS. THEY KNOW THIS. DO YOU HEAR ME RN THEY KNOW THIS. THEY KNEW THEY WOULD NEVER BE NOEUL’S FIRST CHOICE. SONNET KNOWS THAT NOEUL PRETENDS THEY’RE CHARLIE the shotgun is in my mouth right now actually 

And they know that everything they do is for show. they’re Charlie without the rough bits. without the arguments. without the social awkwardness. without the small, unimpressive body. without the longing for more. WITHOUT THE LONGING FOR MORE!!!

and Sonnet is fine playing this part for a few years until Marie starts getting a little older. they see her love for her family and her love for them. and suddenly Sonnet has a purpose again, and that���s to be Marie’s parent. like, they enjoyed taking care of Crow as a baby bc that’s just the way sonnet is. they’re naturally VERY empathetic. they ALWAYS put others above themselves. which is incredibly tragic considering they’re the main antagonist for half of the entire plot

but Marie was different because Marie was their daughter. ofc they don’t really have that initial biological connection the way Noeul connects with Crow (and i could absolutely talk abt sonnet’s distress over their own inability to carry children. for a very long time. but not now) but Marie is the closest thing they’ll ever get. and by God is she more than they could have ever wanted and hoped for. Marie makes Sonnet feel like Sonnet again and not just some stand-in for some girl Noeul never got over

and Noeul and Crow have this parallel connection for a while. Crow makes Noeul realize that he’s more than just his job and that he can have meaningful connections with others that are just. meaningful connections. and not just business transactions. even if that comes in the form of his illegitimate son

(and yeah I could also talk abt Noeul always seeing Charlie in Crow and Sonnet doing the same seeing how he connects with Crow more deeply than connects with Marie but the gist of that is self explanatory. very angsty! but age old trope there)

But this is the key difference between them:

Sonnet raises Marie to be Marie.

Noeul raises Crow to be Noeul.

And this is evident over the course of Blackbirds and how Sonnet and Noeul react to Crow betraying the Court’s values. Noeul thinks Crow is just being immature and isn’t a legitimate threat because he assumes Crow has the same thought process he did at that age. He only takes him seriously when he realizes Charlie is with him.

But Sonnet sees Crow for all he is. They see that yes, he is just a scared and confused kid, but they know he doesn’t want to inherit the role of his father. He sees how his loveless marriage and alcoholism has destroyed him. They know Crow’s smart and driven as hell. They know he’s just like his dad at that age. 

That’s why they only intervene when Marie gets involved. Because Marie is their heart and soul. Marie is the good they gave to Dalseum. As the Court proves to be less and less stable, they confine themselves to their sacred room just. to get high and play music and shit. because they know everything around them is collapsing and there’s nothing they can do because their role on the Court has been reduced to Noeul’s arm candy. Marie is the only person left who truly sees them for who they are. 

and once Noeul announces that Marie is going to become empress and Sonnet will no longer have any say on the Court, they disassociate entirely. like the entire week before Marie’s coronation they just get stoned out of their mind and. I’m actually debating having them attempt to overdose on Crow’s leftover pain meds bc damn that shit has to mentally kill someone. they just fully embrace their dehumanization. but after none of that works they launch Operation Doehunt with Gale and we all saw how that went (spoiler alert: gale had a closed casket funeral)

I had a point here. Oh yeah.

Sonnet didn’t care that Noeul didn’t find them specifically attractive. They just wanted someone that made them feel important. They jumped through the hoops he told them to jump through to prove to him that they were EVEN WORTHY of his time and attention… even though Sonnet was worth so much more than that. But, after all the dust settled, they just wanted Marie to be happy. That was all they cared about once their entire life as they knew it was jeopardized. 

They didn’t want to be a part of Noeul’s fantasy. They just wanted to be a part of his family. 

Tune in next time for a potential “not a lot, just forever” analysis. that’s it for now. 

update: wrote this like a day ago but you called me in the middle of my crashout so I had to put it on hold. so here is the finished product that’s literally unintelligible bro what does half of this mean

[harrylights]

-

[hauntingblue]

Ennies Lobby 3.0. yes that's happening I have too much to yap about

Omg look at these freaks

Franky is so real.... look at him....

Omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I have teared up so many times just bc luffy smiles with meaning at some point. insane btw.

MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!! AAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHH

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The neutrality of it all....

I forgor about aokiji revealing that he was friends with Saul and that he was protecting her because of it... the "live life and prove to me that ohara is still alive"... damn reminds me of garp saying to ace that he would find out if it was wrong for him to be born. "I don't know if it was right or wrong for saul to let you live" yeah that's it. But anyways all this happened because aokiji was loyal to his friend and now we know that he didn't even kill him!! So why is he with blackbeard?? I can't shake it!!!

I can't do it.... I can't.....

Luffy and franky talking about how mich they like the ship while he's chasing his speedos bottomless through the city 😭😭 it's so sweet actually... Franky only has one pair of speedos... thats why he ran thru the city to get them I get it now

"If you don't mind being a little rough I'm wiling to help" robin you freaky girl. But truly that is one of many robin and luffy's autistic communication moments they just know. Also if robin stopped crushing his balls but everyone could see the hands being there that means that she was just holding them for a while while he wept. Normal things here.

Franky blaming himself all this time... 🥺🥺

And he just takes his trunks and walks to the ship without putting them on akdjaosnso alpha moment while saying a melancholic goodbye to your family... crazy

What.... what is he doing

Luffy's fake ass laughing and saying how usopp will do great on his own.... I am seeing you cold sweat

This shit has always been so funny to me.... luffy definitely suffers from nepotism

Usopp asking if they don't know he's sniper king skdbjs no, they (luffy) don't know akdjaons

Look at these wet little beasts omg. Matching icons akdhaksjks

DADAN MENTION????? IN THE ACE VS BLACKBEARD CHAPTER????? AAAAAAAAHHHHH

Face card and pose unmatched as of yet. Look at the evidence.

I am killing myself now. Goodbye.

But I'm already dead!! Yohohoho... Anyways water seven and enies lobby is done.... I am scared (thriller bark) of what is coming you have no idea. Also!! Luffy nearly dying after hia battle with lucci starts the domino effect of luffy being barely strong enough to save everyone until it climaxes in sabaody and then culminates in marineford which is crazy to me btw. Luffy's evolution until then is about how no matter how strong he is it would never be enough. Insane. I don't know what else to say. I love you robin and franky. ACE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP. nvm it's too late already. AAAAAHHHHHH