#so it was easier to write this today with a clearer head

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Adventures of Tintin (2011) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Milou | Snowy & Tintin, Archibald Haddock & Tintin Characters: Tintin (Tintin), Milou | Snowy, Archibald Haddock Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Depression, No Dialogue, Internal Monologue, Mental Health Issues, Past Torture, Past Violence, Worry, Scars, Bruises, Animal Abuse, Vulnerability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Beating, Drowning, Electrocution, Flashbacks, Insults, Stabbing, Sadism, Beds, Starvation, Catatonic Tintin, Delirium, Anger, Rage, Dissociation, Inspired by Music, Showers, Pain, Agony, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2023, no.24, I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule., Neglect, no.29, I only sink deeper the deeper I think., Troubled Past Resurfacing, Self-Reflection, Tears, inspired by 'jabberwocky' by redhook, it is extremely suitable, song is sung by a sexual assault/trauma survivor, i highly recommend it it's so GOOD and so so SO important Series: Part 16 of Tintin Whumptober 2023 Summary: "Even on a beautiful sunny day when the flowers were at their brightest and you could smell the freshness in the air, he didn’t want to go out. He didn’t have the energy to.

When Tintin did have a shower, it was often to only stare at the bathroom wall, or sit down in it, knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs.

At least the constant pattering of water during a shower was relaxing, and drowned out the flashbacks."

[dira333]

Hurts to be away from you - Shigaraki x Soulmate reader

For my Follower Celebration - Soulmates can't be physically away from each other or it hurts

This is the first time I write Shigaraki and I hope I did him justice

Shigaraki doesn’t know when he notices the owl for the first time.

He’s not too knowledgeable about birds but shouldn’t owls be bigger? 

“Kurogiri.” He calls out for his colleague, “Come here.”

Impatiently he waits for the other to join him only to have the bird fly off the moment Kurogiri steps up to the window.

“Never mind. You were too slow.”

❤︎

The Owl is there again, sitting on his windowsill and blinking at him.

He opens the window and waits. The bird does not move. 

“Are you a spy?” He asks the bird, glad that he’s alone for once. Their new hideout is small and he hates when he has no space for himself.

The owl blinks and makes a low sound, hopping closer towards him.

The movement is sudden enough to scare him and his hand flips up, fingers outstretched, Quirk ready to go.

The Owl turns its head sideways, looks at him without blinking and drops off the windowsill, flying off soundlessly.

Heaviness settles in his bones as he watches the animal leave and he huffs angrily. 

He’s not getting sad about a dumb animal!

❤︎

It doesn’t matter where they are, the Owl’s always able to find him.

He should tell the others, make sure it’s not someone spying on them with a mutation quirk, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

Instead he throws bread crumbs out the window or builds a make shift nest out of stolen socks. 

He calls it Mon, like his childhood pet dog. Holds his hand out in the hopes that it will loose it’s fear and move closer, let him pet the smooth coat of feathers. 

He feels calmer when the Owl is in his line of sight, feels content to sit at the window and talk the animal’s ear off. 

There’s something so human about the way it looks at him, blinks at the right moments.

But this is the real world. Where no good things last.

❤︎❤︎❤︎

From the day you turn eighteen, pain is your constant companion.

For some people it’s a dull headache or a knot in their stomach, but you can feel the absence of your soulmate in your bones.

You would curse it, if it didn’t make finding him so much easier.

When you’re up in the air, your true element, you can feel the pull and let it direct your movements.

You feel a bit weird watching him from the safety of the trees or the windowsill, but you have no idea how to approach him, even less when you realize who he is.

Your soulmate is a villain. 

And the more you learn about him, the clearer it becomes. He’s not just any villain. He’s THE Villain.

❤︎❤︎❤︎

“Ha, Mon. Are you hungry?” Shigaraki places a handful of breadcrumbs on the windowsill.

You eat them, careful of his movements.

Ever since the first time he talked to you, he hasn’t threatened you with his quirk again, but you’ve been born careful, shy, anxious.

Shigaraki keeps talking, telling you about his days. 

Slowly, he stretches out his pointer finger, trying to lure you toward him.

Today, you comply and press your small bird body against his finger. 

Shigaraki falls silent, as he slowly, carefully, rubs his finger against your feathers.

Behind Shigaraki, a door opens.

“Shigaraki? We’re ready to leave.”

You jump back to the edge of the windowsill, eyes on the green skinned Mutant that’s standing in the door.

Shigaraki huffs in annoyance.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming. What heroes are in the vicinity?”

“Some Owl Dude and-” You don’t stay to listen any longer. There is only one Pro Hero with an Owl Quirk and that is your father.

You might be too weak to be a hero but you won’t let anyone hurt your father if you can help avoid it.

❤︎❤︎❤︎

You wonder if you’ll ever grow used to the pain. 

It’s been months since you’ve last met Shigaraki, since you left him to warn your father.

You had made that decision with a heavy heart and heavier bones, guilt and desire pulling you back while determination drove you forward. You couldn’t and wouldn’t let anyone die.

But your wings are still missing some feathers from where his Quirk reached you on your way out of the city. You’re lucky you’re still alive. The City isn’t.

❤︎

It’s over. 

The war has been won, All for One has been defeated.

And even though it seems a cruel joke, Shigaraki is still alive, tied to a bed in a hospital.

It’s a precaution, Deku had told him the first time he visited. People are and will be afraid of him for quite some time.

Deku visits him daily, if only to sit with him for a few minutes and tell him about his grandmother, the weather outside, or other mundane things.

“How are you feeling?” He asks everytime he visits. “Does anything hurt?”

“My bones.” Shigaraki confesses grumpily. “No matter how many painkillers we try, my bones hurt all the damn time.”

Deku cocks his head to the side in a way that has become familiar.

“Have you met your Soulmate yet, Shigaraki?”

“My Soulm-, Dude, have you forgotten who I am?”

“I haven’t. But… I don’t know if you’ve been taught that, I thought it was common knowledge, but there’s a certain pain that you feel whenever you’re away from your soulmate. The closer they are, the less it hurts.”

“What?” Shigaraki laughs. “You’re kidding, right? No way that’s true.”

Deku lifts up his hand and wriggles his fingers. “Everytime I am away from Ochako my fingers start hurting. Didn’t realize it was her for some time because my hands were broken so often, but once you know, you know.”

Shigaraki considers that for a moment, tries to push away the thought of how ridiculous that sounds. There have been moments where his bones didn’t hurt, he knows that. 

There’s movement at the windows and he looks, hoping against everything that it will be his little owl, his Mon. But it’s a Sparrow that’s ignoring them as it picks seeds from the little birdhouse.

“You like birds?” Deku asks. 

Shigaraki snorts. “No. I just… There was an owl that used to visit me.”

“Ah, yes.” Deku nods with a look on his face that has Shigaraki frowning.

He opens his mouth to ask about it when the door opens.

“Midoriya-san? Visiting time is already over.”

“Oh? I’m sorry. Tomura, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then.”

“I won’t die if you skip one time.”

Deku smiles. “But just to make sure I’ll be here tomorrow anyway.”

…

It’s late and Shigaraki can’t sleep. He doesn’t like taking sleeping pills and he’d forgone the painkillers today, already knowing that they wouldn’t work on the pain settling in his bones. 

He tosses and turns until he notices movement in front of the window.

When he moves out of the bed he realizes with a start that his bones have stopped hurting. When did that happen?

Outside the window, almost invisible in the darkness, sits the little owl.

“Hey Mon.” Shigaraki whispers and presses his hand against the cool glass. “Missed you.”

The bird pushes itself against the glass as if trying to cuddle into his hand.

“Can’t open the window.” Shigaraki tells it. “That’s forbidden in case I could try and hurt myself. But they stopped tying me to the bed, so I guess that’s progress. Where have you been? Do owls migrate to warmer climates?”

The little owl ruffles its wings, stretching one of them into the direction of a distant streetlamp. He notices the new, shorter feathers right away.

“Did you get into a fight?” He asks, unable to keep the worry from slipping into his voice and watches the owl move it’s body as if it’s shrugging its shoulders.

❤︎❤︎❤︎

Months go by. 

They allow Kurogiri to stay with him.

They move the two of them to a different wing of the hospital into something that could be a rather nice apartment anywhere in the city if not for the locked windows and the buttons next to the door to alert a doctor if needed.

“About the owl…” Shigaraki starts one day when Deku’s done telling him about the progress he’s making on the new reform for handling dangerous Quirks. 

“Yeah?” Deku’s shoulders are relaxed but his tone is tense.

“It’s a shapeshifter, right?”

“What makes you think that?”

“I talked to some other people about your soulmate theory and everyone agreed that it was true. And as a human and an animal cannot be soulmates, it has to be a shapeshifter.”

Deku nods slowly. “She’s your soulmate then?”

Shigaraki’s unable to speak as the truth settles in. Some part of him had still been in doubt, but Deku’s face is as open as always, telling him more than he can handle at the moment.

“Would you like to meet her?”

Shigaraki looks down at his hands in his lap, clenching and unclenching.

There are a million things he wants to ask, but it feels wrong to ask Deku instead of you.

“Tell you what…” Deku leans forward in his chair. “I will talk to her. If she wants to come, I’ll bring her with me. One less decision for you to make.”

That night, the owl doesn’t come. Shigaraki stares out the window into the night and allows himself to succumb to the pain in his bones, telling himself to get used to it. 

He’ll be happier in the end if he doesn’t set himself up to get disappointed.

❤︎

He knows who you are the moment you step into the room.

It’s in the way you move, how you hold yourself up. It’s in the way you wring your hands and hide behind Deku until he steps away.

“I’m going to get us something to drink.” He grins. “I’ll be back in a second.”

“You came.” Shigaraki says because he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“I…” You take a seat on the chair next to his bed, ass on the edge as you wobble around. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me.”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me.” He gives back and watches your eyes move up to his eyes before they turn back to the floor.

“I told my father… about you. Had to, because he didn’t want to leave Deika City.”

“You were there?”

“Yeah…” You wobble some more, worrying your lip between your teeth. “Got hit by your quirk. But only a little.” You rush to add. “It wasn’t that bad, I just couldn’t fly after that for a while.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay-”

“It’s not.” Shigaraki stares out the window, trying to keep himself from looking at you. Even your reflection is too pretty to be in a room with him. 

“I did a lot of things that were terrible and that I cannot take back. I don’t know why you would even meet-” He stops abruptly when a single shaking finger is stretched into his field of vision. 

Your hand is outstretched, your pointer finger curved. 

It’s a faint memory but it reminds him of the one and only time he got the owl, you, to come close. 

Without thinking, he leans in until your finger touches his cheek. You move it softly, caressing his skin. Your eyes are locked on to his and he wonders what you see in them. Yours are filled with a softness he doesn’t deserve.

But when you move your fingers to cup his cheek, he can’t help but lean into it.

“Midoriya-san has told me that you got a second chance.” You don’t blink as you speak. “I want to be part of it if you’ll let me.”

❤︎❤︎❤︎

It’s a new year, a new apartment. 

The windows aren’t locked anymore and there’s another bedroom for Spinner who might get to start work soon.

Three times a week Shigaraki gets to take classes to retake his high school degree and so far he has learned that he likes math and hates geography, doesn’t mind languages and can’t get enough of art. 

He has good days and bad days and days that are worse. 

His bones hurt in the morning and there’s no painkiller that could help with that, but each day he gets to open his window and watch you flutter in.

“Mylady.” He offers you his arm when you've shifted into your human body. “Do you want to go take a walk in the park?”

Your eyes gleam as you take it, lean into him. “With you? Always.”

He can deal with the shadows of his life if you keep bringing in the light.

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[fan-goddess]

For kinktober:

Billy Washington x face sitting

Modern Aemond x getting caught

Tom bennettt x public sex

would adore if you could do these, I love your writing so much! 💕

Authors Note: thank you for these love and the compliment! Gonna do the Billy Washington x face sitting one here and I’ll do the other ones separately so it’s just easier. Thank you for waiting for this as long as you did, I realised I sort of did them in the wrong order ha still boo you like these ♥️

Warnings: Praising, f oral, face sitting, teasing, hint at m oral, (if I miss any let me know)

Taglist: @sofiyathecunt, @marvelgirl123, @sylasthegrim, @mochi-rose, @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @blue-serendipity, @helaelaemond @omgbrcat

You and Billy had been dating for quite some time now, and for the whole time, you’d noticed that he’d always been eager to please.

Whether that was with a nice hot cup of tea when you got back from a stressful day at work, or even just calling the local Chinese place for food when he could tell that you were too tired to try and attempt to cook anything that night.

It was also unsurprising to the both of you when you realised how eager to please Billy was in other areas of your relationship too.

“I’m back love!” You yell, chucking off your coat onto the hook and flinging your messenger bag somewhere by the sofa, before walking to the direction of the bedroom.

“Hey babe” Billy smiles, sneaking up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist and pulling you into him, so he can give you a quick affectionate kiss on the forehead.

“How was your day? Did you chat to Lana? I swear she said something about calling you sometime today… or it may have been tomorrow?” You muse, dragging Billy to the bed and laying down next to him, humming slightly in content as his arms wrap around you once more as your head rests on his chest.

“Yeah, spoke to Lana earlier. She’s doing alright for herself. Had a couple dates with that fella of hers and got another tomorrow. Had a call of the job centre too. Some mechanic place is hiring for apprenticeships and stuff and I got an interview next week.”

“Billy thats bloody brilliant!” You grin, bringing your hands up to cup his face before practically yanking him in for a deep kiss, chuckling slightly against his lips in amusement as you feel how eager Billy is for your kisses and general affection.

“I’ve got no work to do, so I’m free all afternoon for whatever you desire my love.” You grin, a mischievous smile painted on your lips as Billy’s own face turns a light shade of pink from bashfulness. It’s always fun teasing him and seeing the way he gets.

“Well, there is something I’ve been wanting to try for a while. Since you’ve been saying about me taking charge more-“

“Billy I don’t care if you’re more submissive or dominant in this relationship! I just care about you not thinking you need to bend over backwards for me! Cause I’ll be here no matter what kinks you suddenly pull out! Well, I will run for the actual hills if you suggest anything feet related, but that’s a different matter-“

“It’s not fucking feet love!” Billy laughs, the noise making your chest practically ache from happiness as the stress seems to somehow physically drain from his face.

You always loves Billy’s laugh. The small barely noticeable stress wrinkles you never tell him about seems to magically smooth away, and almost make him look strangely innocent.

“It’s… well… I wanted to maybe have you sit on my face…”

“You want what?” Your eyes furrow at Billy’s murmur. But when he repeats it louder and clearer, your breathes go ragged and you can already feel your legs clenching together in anticipation.

“I want you to sit on my face. So I can eat you out, till you can’t take it anymore…”

“Oh…” You hate how breathless you sound. But the thought of Billy doing that to you is doing too many unholy things to your head that you can’t help but bite your lip in deep thought. “Yeah… I think we can definitely do that baby.”

“Good!” It’s so precious how he smiles so bashfully in front of you. He’s like a whole new man. Like he didn’t just suggest something that made your face blush bright red from his request mere moments ago. “So get on my face now.”

Your heart feels as if it could explode with how hard your blood was pumping to your face right now, but you can’t help but nod eagerly to Billy’s demands and quickly strip yourself nude, your clothes flying all over the room as you focus on Billy, and Billy only.

You’re awkward in your movements at first, never having a man do this so intimate thing with you before, and yet Billy takes this in stride. Before you can even get to sit yourself on his chin, he grabs at your thighs and clumsily forces your whole body on his face, where you can’t help but grind slightly on as one of the most intense feelings of your life hits you.

It’s strange, to have Billy’s wet warm tongue piercing your wet cunt, and to have his nose simultaneously nuzzling your clit, but it’s amazing, perfect, and is honestly making you feel practically delirious.

Yet even with the intense feeling, the worry of suffocating your beloved boyfriend is more important. So when you try to lift yourself up a bit to give him some room to breath, you find yourself letting a loud sigh of surprise and pleasure as Billy only goes and pulls you straight back, holding your legs even tighter in his grip to stop you from moving.

“Don’t move again…” Billy murmurs, “Fucking gorgeous…”

You can only sigh in agreement, and can’t help yourself from grinding further on Billy’s eager face, completely disregarding your earlier worries. Your hands clasp desperately where they can, which in your case, is Billy’s shaggy hair that tickles your lower half slightly. Though when you tighten your grip slightly, you can feel Billy groan slightly as he eats you out, seemingly aroused by your tight grip on his body.

You quickly begin whining in approval though. “Fuck Billy so good for me!” Adoring the way he becomes to desperate to hear your praise, and the way his actions seem to quicken to appease you.

His own groans of pleasure may be muffled, but they certainly are enthusiastic, as the vibrations somehow seem to only heighten your pleasure.

You can feel the bed shake slightly, and when you turn your head slightly to look behind you, your mouth falls open on its own accord as you see Billy’s hard cock straining in his underwear. His hips even mimicking small thrusts in order to get some kind of stimulation for himself.

It’s almost endearingly amusing to you to see the small wet patch forming in his underwear from his own arousal. You think he could almost cum alone from eating you out. A thing you soon almost find yourself doing as Billy’s movements get rougher.

“Oh my god I’m gonna cum Billy!” You whine, your grip on Billy’s hair becoming rough as the knot in your stomach tightens, on the brink of bursting, only spilling over when you begin to rut your pussy on his willing mouth like a woman possessed.

It’s so intense, that you find yourself somehow more aroused and yet thankful with Billy’s tight grip on your thighs, that turns almost bruising as he makes sure you don’t almost fall off his face. And when your legs begin to cramp and you move to lay beside your lover and properly look at him, your breath feels like it’s been swept away as you see your juices shining all over his face.

You can feel your face burn red in embarrassment, covering your face with your hands as you try to hide your shyness. “Billy, you’ve got well, me all over your face love…”

You can hear him hum slightly and when you peak through your fingers to see what he does, your legs unconsciously clamp together seeing his tongue trying to pick up as much of you as he can, his fingers too trying to catch any he was unable to get with his tongue.

“You’re gonna kill me someday Billy Washington!” You grin, moving to give him a firm kiss on his damp cheek, and giggling when you see his beautiful bashful smile. The Billy you’re used too, the submissive Billy, coming back to you right before your eyes.

Speaking of your eyes, they once again trail to Billy’s crotch, where his cock still strains against the fabric of his pants with a distinct wet patch still drawing your main attention.

“Do you want me to help you out with that baby?”

“Only if you want to darling.”

Your hand teases the outline of him, your smile smug as he whines into the air. “Of course I want to sweet boy, I’d be crazy not to.”

[the-wip-project]

Bad Brain Days

Today I’m having a bad brain day.

It’s not that my brain is misbehaving. It’s just having a rough time functioning.

You might call it something else, and it has numerous causes, a bad night’s sleep, a flare up of a chronic health condition, medication issues, a short term illness, or simply being overwhelmed with responsibilities.

Whatever the cause, we all have days when our brain doesn’t want to do what it’s supposed to, ie: think.

Which is bad for life in general, and particularly bad for the thinky work of writing.

So what does a committed writer do when faced with a bad brain day?

The first and simplest thing is yield. If your body is telling you to rest, it’s a good idea to heed it.

I don’t advocate for pushing yourself to write every single day. (unless streaks really work well for you, in that case streak on!) It’s especially important if your bad brain days are often caused by feeling overwhelmed.

No doubt you have things you must get done: work, classes, child or elder care, household responsibilities. Things you can’t skip just because you’re not feeling up to it. So do yourself a favor and skip the non-vital tasks, like writing. Just for today.

But perhaps that writing habit thing is starting to catch hold and you’re looking forward to your writing session as something you do for yourself, but sadly your brain just won’t go in the words and ideas direction. What then?

The best thing is to make a list of what you can do. If you have low brain usefulness days frequently, on a good day try coming up with a list of things you can do on slow brain days.

Here’s some ideas to get you started.

1. Read. Skip the social media doom scroll, turn off your devices, and read something on paper. It could be an old favorite that feels comforting, it could be something new and exciting, but either way, focus on what makes the book or story good. We hear a lot about reading critically, and finding fault seems to dominate that. But try reading to admire. Pay attention to what you enjoy, what makes you smile, what makes you feel immersed. Read with the intention of enjoyment.

2. Do something story adjacent. If you like posting about your WIP on socials, find a few good pull quotes and queue them up. Or create a synopsis or pitch to keep on file for whenever someone asks what you’re writing. If you like making visual stuff like mood boards, make one for a scene or character.

3. Feeling up to diving into the work itself? How about updating your outline? Read over what you have written and add whatever changes you’ve made to the outline. It doesn’t have to be complex. Just try making one sentence summaries of each scene. You can do this if you didn’t have an outline to begin with too.

4. Talk to a friend about your writing. Writers need social interaction and if your writing has been consuming a lot of your spare time, just connecting with a friend might be what you need. (and don’t make it all about your writing! Be a good friend!)

5. Make starting tomorrow easier. Do non writing stuff that smooths the way, like tidying up the formatting or layout, creating blank chapters or scenes, or even sketching out a scene without making an attempt to fill in all the blanks.

Finally, don’t make any major decisions about your WIP on a bad brain day. You might do something your regret. Instead make notes on any major cuts or changes that feel needed, and look at them again on a day when you feel good.

And don’t make your writing another burden that makes everything too hard to carry. Tomorrow, when your head is (hopefully) clearer, take the time to assess if your writing is too much. To consider if the goals you’ve set yourself are workable with your current life situation. There’s no shame in dialing things back. If writing 250 words a day is too much, consider reducing it to 200. Or adding in more days off. Or considering a lower pressure project. Writing short fiction instead of tackling The Novel.

Most of all, remember that a solid writing practice is first of all a healthy one. So take care of yourself.

—Maree

Subscribe to my substack to make sure you don't miss a post, chat with me on the WIP Project discord, and tag any posts you make about the challenge with #slomowrino if you want me to see them!

[teamatsumu]

Pandora’s Box

Summary: Ichigo is great at compartmentalizing. He will shut memories and feelings up in a box in his head so it becomes easier to live his mundane life without completely falling apart.

Pairing: Kurosaki Ichigo x Kuchiki Rukia

Word Count: 1,567

Warnings: Angst, adultery but not really

A/N: Wrote this a few months ago for an event over on twitter. Decided to post it here too!

There's a whole lot that he won't let himself feel.

It doesn’t matter, though. That box had been shut and locked a long time ago. It is rusty and discolored now. No use opening it.

Ringing fills his ears at exactly 8:15 am. He turns to his side, stretches an arm out to punch his phone. Silence. There’s banging and pots clanging downstairs. A boyish, distant voice floats into his ears. Kazui. Probably protesting whatever new breakfast concoction Orihime is trying to convince him to eat.

Bathroom. Wash face. Brush teeth. Change clothes. There’s a steady hum in his head, like his brain was still not fully awake enough to form words. The noises downstairs have subsided considerably. Yuzu and Karin have probably left, dropping Kazui at school before continuing on their own route.

He pads down the stairs as he ties his tie. His satchel hits his knee with every step. He needs to shorten the strap. It’s getting annoying.

“Good morning.” Orihime pauses on the dishes as she turns her head. “Breakfast?”

He hums and shakes his head, looking at the clock. Dammit, he should’ve left ten minutes ago. “I’ll grab something on the way. I’m a little late.”

Orihime turns back to the sink. “Is your alarm still messing up? I thought you fixed it.”

No. He woke up on time. What exactly was he caught up in for forty five minutes?

“I don’t know.” He sighs, tying his shoelaces.

“I’ll wake you up myself tomorrow.” She offers.

“Okay. I’m leaving.” There’s no point in telling her to not bother and that she already has Kazui on her plate. He’ll just tell her at night.

Work is as mundane as it has always been. The monotony doesn’t do much for Ichigo, but at least it’s comfortable. His coworkers mind their own business and he can work as silently as possible to meet his deadlines. Given the circumstances, it’s not a bad gig at all.

The hours go by as slowly today as usual. Ichigo spends his free moments daydreaming about the bowl of ramen he had for dinner last night and if it would be a good idea to have it again today.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and breaks his thoughts. He shuffles and pulls it out, placing it to his ear.

“Hm?” The writing on his desk is getting kind of blurry. His eyelids are heavy with boredom.

“Ichigo?”

He freezes.

Phones ring in the distance. Papers are shuffling and there’s a steady hum of people working in the cubicles around him. He can smell ink and newly photocopied papers in the air. Yet they seem so far away.

There’s tapping on the other line and a huff of frustration. “Sentarou! This thing isn’t working! That guy from Squad 12 duped you!”

“R-Rukia.” His voice is strained. He clears his throat. The tapping abruptly halts.

“Ichigo? Hey! Can you hear me?!”

Ichigo flinches and pulls the phone slightly away from his ear. “Stop shouting, you idiot. I can hear you.”

He can hear some whispering and shuffling on the other end, before Rukia speaks again, this time clearer. “Don’t call me an idiot! Do you know how many strings I had to pull to get an unauthorized phone from Squad 12? Be thankful!”

Ichigo breathes out, only then realizing how tight his chest feels. He leans back in his chair and hangs his head. “Yeah. Thanks.”

There’s a pause. “ How are you, Ichigo?”

Her voice has gone soft, as opposed to the rushed and exasperated tone earlier. Ichigo closes his eyes. Nope. No.

“I’m fine. How’s Renji?”

He almost slaps himself. He should’ve asked about her first. What’s wrong with him?

“He’s okay. He wanted to chat with you too, but he’s off with Nii-sama somewhere.” Ichigo can hear a door slide open and shut.

“Oh.” Ichigo feels lame, not saying anything else. A silence stretches between them. Static crackles in the phone.

“How’s…. how’s Inoue?” She sounds hesitant now.

“She’s fine.” Ichigo’s throat tightens.

Silence again. Then another huff.

“What's up with you? I can practically hear you moping over the phone. Straighten your back!” Rukia barks through the line suddenly.

Ichigo blinks and instinctively sits up. “I am sitting up! And even if I’m not, mind your business!”

“Who do you think I am?! When have you ever been able to fool me?”

Ichigo feels his cheek twitch in annoyance. He leans over his desk, resting his arms on the cool surface. “So you just called me to tell me off?”

“No. I called to have a chat with an old friend but it seems you’ve become pathetic and sad so I have to knock some sense into you again.”

This time, the corner of Ichigo’s lip twitches. He feels the horrifying urge to burst into laughter. Inappropriate, he thinks. He holds it back. “So you’ll come to Karakura?”

He can almost hear her rolling her eyes. “If it means kicking your ass? Sure.”

He’s grinning fully this time.

……………..

Ichigo decides to have that bowl of ramen he kept thinking about all day. He keeps Rukia on the phone while he waits for Keigo to make it. She brings him up to date with what’s happening in Soul Society. He nearly chokes when he hears she’s finally being considered for a Captain position.

“I think it’s Nii-sama’s doing.” She muses. “I still think I have a long way to go.”

“And I think you haven’t grown out of that habit of underestimating yourself.” He wipes his mouth. “Ukitake always wanted you to be the Captain after him.”

There’s a hum of acknowledgment. The shop around him is bustling and full of life. He presses the phone closer to his ear so he wouldn’t miss anything Rukia said.

“What about that Bankai of yours? Any progress on how to control it better?”

“Oh, yes. Renji and Captain Hitsugaya have been helping me with it. And I am getting better. There’s still a long way to go, though.”

Ichigo pauses and stares at his bowl. He feels caught off guard. Why did he, for a brief chunk of time, almost forget about Renji? His scowl grows and his grip on the phone tightens. He can almost feel, very painfully, how the rust on the box was slowly chipping away.

…………………..

She calls every other day after that.

Ichigo questions it in his head sometimes. Why she calls frequently and why, for some reason, they talk for an hour or so continuously, about mundane things and people they know. He tells himself they’re just catching up. After all, they haven’t talked in almost eight years.

Eight years, since he closed and shut it all up in a box in his head. Two weeks, that was all it took for the lid of the box to come flying off its hinges.

She’s rambling about some new device Kurotsuchi has been advertising around the Seireitei when it comes bursting out of him.

“Why did you marry him?”

She stops talking instantly, silence stretches between them. Ichigo stares out of the window he’s sitting on. There’s a steady hum of the TV downstairs. The sun is beginning to set.

“Ichigo.” There’s a warning in her voice.

His throat tightens. There’s a pang in his chest as he shifts on the windowsill. “S-sorry.”

“Would you have done anything even if I hadn’t married him?”

There is an orange tint around the clouds. He can make out small black dots gliding across them. Birds returning to their homes. He knows the answer was no. He had vowed to himself, the night that Yhwach disappeared, that he would never let himself be happy.

“Maybe I shouldn’t call anymore.”

“Oi!” Ichigo feels his back stiffen. He can't help the little tremble in his voice.

“I know you did everything for a reason.” Rukia’s voice sounded almost rigid. Cold. “I’m not blaming you. And you shouldn’t blame yourself either.”

He’s heard that too many times. It angers him. He grits his teeth to avoid bursting. The box has to stay shut.

“Maybe I’ll visit someday.” Rukia continues. “But until then, I think it’s best if I don’t call. Ichigo!” She warns when he begins to protest. “You know where this will go. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to Inoue.”

Ichigo wants to punch the window. He wants to scream at her about how unfair all of it is. How he had to meticulously destroy his whole life just to make sure Yhwach never came back. He feels like a petulant child, wanting to cry and scream his frustration.

But of course, he doesn’t have to. She understands. She always did. All that time ago too, when he was just a disgruntled punk who just wanted to pick fights. She had shown up and she had understood parts of him that even he was scared to explore.

The box inside him is creaking and groaning in protest as memories washed over Ichigo, begging to burst open until he is buried in his own sorrow. On the other line, he focuses only on her quiet breathing. He lets out a shaky sigh when he hears her last words. The Pandora’s box just couldn’t stay closed any longer.

“Just so you know, if you had asked, I would’ve said yes.”

The line dropped. The phone let out a steady beep.

-------------------------------------

Let me know what you think! Taglist is open

[phantalgia]

A Mental Impasse For Today

I often get into those situations where my brain just refuses to move forward. For whatever reason, whether I like it or not. I just stop. I woke up today with a weird dream, I don't want to get into it as that's not important. What is important is that I feel like I'm at a mental impasse.

Last night I was planning on what my next post would be and I just couldn't even think about it. So I decided to sleep on it. Nothing has changed. But this thing where my brain just refuses to move forward is quite a frustrating experience. I don't know if anyone else experiences it, but for me it causes a lot of distress. I don't know what it is exactly.

But here's what I will say that happened today. I woke up, and the first thing I do is check through my Instagram feed to be met with the shit happening in France. Emmanuel Macron refusing to announce the left wing PM and seeing how he had a meeting with Marine Le Pen. Now, I'm not too familiar with how French politics works but this didn't seem good and clearly isn't as the left coalition in France is backing the protesters. So that was occupying my mind. Which as you can imagine puts you in a state of worry as if liberals are that easy to cozy up to fascists then it doesn't spell good news for US politics or politics anywhere.

But that's all besides the point. My fucking brain. So, after being anxious about that, I knew I needed to focus my attention on Tumblr. Because I was bothered by the default theme showing my blog posts with a white background. I spent all morning and some of the afternoon trying to fiddle around with the HTML when I just ended up picking a different theme XD. So, problem solved until I actually really want a custom site.

Where does that leave me now? Well, through that search of a new theme I noticed how stressed I was. I can't quite tell if it was a physical stress, emotional stress, or a mixture. Whichever. But this goes into some of the physical/mental health issues I've been dealing with. I was planning to write about that but I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know where to start, what to say or what. So instead of writing about it, I'll write about how I feel right now and then have it lead me to talking about that. So here I am talking about it. But...I think I'll save it for as a part 2 of this post. Or a de-facto continuation of this while keeping it as a separate post.

I have been having other thoughts like trying to better organize these posts and shorten them down so they're more digestible. As you can see, I'm just rambling and rambling and rambling stretching this out as my mind goes on and on. Perhaps that will just be another goal to keep in mind for long term blogging. So let's see:

Long Term Goals For Blogging

Improve writing skills and grammar

Shorten things up or organize my posts to make them easier to read and more digestible

I do like rambling though. I could just ramble on and on and let my mind loose. It feels good, even if people don't bother reading my entire post, which I doubt ANYONE will. The alternative is to post like a Twitter (I refuse to call it X, if Elon Musk can deadname his daughter, we can deadname Twitter) post, keep it short and just update as the day goes on. We shall see.

Anyway, I think my mind feels somewhat clearer. Not really, but I do have some peace of mind that the things bothering me this morning and afternoon are outside of my head. So maybe later I can finally get into talking about my long term stuff I've been dealing with and analyzing that.

[foggyparadisecandy]

DESIRE TRANCE

[Consider this warning please. I never feel my text pieces but some people have told me that this impacts them greatly. It will make you want to be my little pet. If you do not want that, please do NOT read this.

Usually I leave an "out" for my trances. I did not in this case. I will write a clear trance soon.] I've spoken at lengths about desires and how I think it would be wonderful if people would accept their desires and embrace them and own them and feel good about themselves.

I wrote a trance that discusses it and helps people do just that ... or even lessen those desires slightly if they choose to go that path. Check out my CORE TRANCE if you want to have that experience.

This trance is slightly different.

Instead of being focused on YOUR desires that consume YOUR thoughts, this time we're going to talk about how nice it would be for MY desires to consume YOUR thoughts.

My desires for you.

My desires that I want you to feel, to enjoy, to embrace, and to accept.

Anyone that has read my posts knows I'm a pretty simple-minded person with deep focus on a few key desires.

Today we're going to discuss one of my favorites.

No, not Cherry Crush, silly! (although maybe in a future trance ...)

Today we're going to discuss my desire for you to be my pet.

My nice, submissive, obedient, and, yes, horny, pet.

Some people want to be hypnoslaves and that's fine, I suppose. But I'm a fan of making hypnopets.

You're going to hear all my reasons that being a pet is a better choice for you, and becoming *my* pet is naturally the best choice for you.

As an aside, of course, if you are going to make such a choice, you want to make the best choice possible, so of the two choices, being *my* pet makes the most sense.

If you settle back and relax and read on, you can hear my case and determine if you would, in fact, find it nice to be a pet, and hopefully, my pet.

Now if you already settled in and in a comfy place, you will find this easier to read. It's long because it goes deep into the reasons for being a pet, my pet, and so it's best to get comfortable and relax as you read and you focus.

And as you read and you relax, and you focus and you follow, you may choose to think and to question, or listen and accept.

So if you choose to think and to question, you might find the thoughts and the answers revealed, as you read and relax, and focus and follow.

Or if you listen and accept, you might find the path is easy and the words sink deeper, as you read and relax, and focus and follow.

And as you go, wherever you choose to sit or lie, while you read and relax and focus and follow and sink and drift, the question that comes to the top of your mind might be why be a pet and not a slave?

If you are thinking and questioning, you might find the answer is found in deeper meanings and context of the words that you hear in your head, as you read and follow while you relax and focus.

If you choose to listen and accept, you might see the words come clearer and define your path and light your way, as you continue to read while you relax, and focus while you follow.

Being a slave is pure obedience and implies a sense of pure submission, where you shut off your will, your mind, your thoughts, your ego, and give over in pure service to a master who commands and controls you as you choose to follow and obey.

Some people find that as they give in completely and become a slave who shuts off their mind and shuts down their thoughts, and become completely enthralled and completely submissive and completely obedient, it has a strong pull that they cannot resist, and you might feel that pull, as you read and relax, and focus and follow.

And some people find that this deep desire comes from the wish to escape, and shut off their mind and shut down their thoughts, and free themselves up to be brought down, deep down, and completely controlled and completely obedient. And this is a feeling that is hard to escape for many who think along these lines, and the hunger grows strong to give in and give up, and fall down into this role and surrender completely to me and my words.

So if you are still thinking and questioning, as you read and relax and focus and follow, you might be wondering what is the difference and why you would want to become my pet, if you long to give up and give in to the growing idea of becoming my slave who follows my orders?

And if you listen and accept, you know the answer is found in the words that follow, as you read and relax and focus and follow, while you sink, and drift and give up and give in to the deeper meaning you find in the words that follow.

Yes, being a pet, being *my* pet, allows you to freely submit and obey, and follow my words and obey my words, and surrender to the joy as you give in to my authority, and feel the pleasure of obedience and submission as you follow my commands.

And unlike a slave, when you become my pet, you receive my praise, you receive my guidance, you receive my love, as I help you grow and improve your life and live your dreams, as you submit to my words and obey my orders and feel a sense of arousal grow in proportion to your surrender and submission.

When you choose to be my pet, you feel the freedom and growing arousal of this deeper submission and complete obedience as you give in and give up and you feel my collar slip around your neck and it fills you with pride and perfect purpose to live as my pet, and feel my praise pulse as you submit and obey.

As my pet, you feel submissive and weak, and loved and wanted, as you submit and obey, and focus and follow, and feel my words as they become your commands and nurture and nourish you and help you become better and stronger as you accept your new collar.

And my pets feel the praise and feel the love and it makes them excited and happy when they give up and they give in and obey my words and submit to my will and accept their collar.

And as you give in and you give up and choose to be my perfect pet and get your collar, you will find you feel the praise and desperately want the love and arousal that you get when you submit and you obey, and focus and follow.

Your collar becomes your symbol of submission, a feeling of falling, and you find you long for the praise and the love, and feel the arousal as you give in and as you give up to be my perfect pet.

As you make this choice to silently submit as a perfect pet, your collar settles around your neck, making you feel submissive and weak, and horny and hot, as you feel so good to make this choice, and give in and give up and listen and accept.

Your collar lovingly locks in place, fixes in place, permanently in place, seals your choice, makes you so horny, desperate to submit and desperate to give in, and makes you so hot to surrender and give up and follow my words and obey my words and become my perfect pet.

You feel your collar makes you grow so hot and grow so aroused, and it turns you on and inflames your desires, as your pleasure grows and your pleasure expands, and it fills your body and it fills your mind with a deep sense of satisfaction and liberating submission and complete obedience as you become my perfect pet.

The call of your collar and your sense of submission and the heat of your horniness and perfection of purpose make you grow mad with desire, deepening desire that makes you so aroused, and feel so hot and feel so horny and so turned on that all you can do is beg and plead to give up and give in and slide into place as my perfect pet.

And as you accept your new place as my perfect pet, feel your collar fix and lock around your neck, fixed in place, permanently in place, and you give in to your feelings of pure arousal and joy, as you know and you find your collar is there whenever you think of giving up and giving in to my words, to my orders, and to my commands.

Your collar feels so good and drives you mad with desire and horny with arousal, charges your body and your mind with sexual excitement, and you know this is why most people find the pleasure of being my pet.

Your collar means submission. Your collar means desire.

Your collar means perfection. Your collar means arousal.

With your collar locked in place,

your submission is perfect,

your surrender is complete,

and your mind and body aflame.

So accept your collar and I accept your submission.

And give me obedience as I give you my praise.

And submit as my pet and I take your submission.

And feel your arousal as I feed your desires.

And accept your purpose and become my pet.

And give in, and give up, and obey and submit. I hope you enjoyed that, pet. CLICK HERE FOR MORE TRANCES

CLICK HERE FOR MY CLEAR TRANCE TO REMOVE ANY UNWANTED EFFECTS

[hamstergiukie]

comforting them after a hard day 

angst / fluff

reposted

Jin Yonghoon

GIF by awek-s-archived

🐶 things had just been generally frustrating for Yonghoon, his computer crashed and tech was just not working for him

🐶 coming home to you cuddled up on the couch, with his favourite food being kept warm in the oven is what he needed

🐶 it was like you knew he needed you, and as soon as he was ready and comfortable you opened your arms for cuddles

🐶 he isn’t ready to talk about it, he’s still frustrated and he doesn’t want to lash out at you

🐶 run your fingers through his hair, he will calm down immediately

“thank you sweetheart, you always know what i need.”

Ju Harin

GIF by donqjus

🦊 nothing was particularly wrong today, he had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed and had been grumpy

🦊 to comfort him he needs hugs and quality time

🦊 just sitting by your side, listening to your voice helps him to relax and calm down

🦊 you’re a safe space for him, and while he might be a little snippy at times with you, he doesn’t mean it

🦊 he loves you too much to let a bad mood affect him when he’s by your side :’)

“i’m sorry i was grumpy with you babe. i love you so much~”

Kang Hyungu (Kanghyun)

GIF by ddonghyun

🐧 the lyrics he needed weren’t coming to him and it was really annoying him. his brain has been overloaded and he can’t think clearly

🐧 to comfort Kanghyun visit him in the studio, bring him his favourite drink and his favourite person and he’ll feel a little better

🐧 cuddle with him while he tries to write, he won’t feel completely better until he finishes this task

🐧 but!! lyrics are coming easier to him now because his muse is here

🐧 he’s more relaxed and his mind is clearer with you here, and soon he’s ready to go home:3

“what would i do without you love? i don’t think i would ever finish this without you.”

Son Dongmeyong

GIF by cchanhees

☀️ everyone has their off days and Dongmyeong had been struggling with his voice, he had been sick and is voice was still a little shaky

☀️ he was really frustrated that his body wasn’t cooperating with him

☀️ to comfort him he needs cuddles, and kisses and reassuring words

☀️ kiss his cheeks, cuddle him close, run your fingers through his hair and whisper some comforting words, he really appreciates it

☀️ he also may fall asleep and that will also help him feel better emotionally and physically

“i just don’t feel very good right now, thank you for making me feel a little better honey.”

Lee Giuk

GIF by soppa-deactivated20220901

🐹 his bass strings keep breaking on him, this has been the fourth time he changed the strings and he was getting frustrated

🐹 poor boy is so stressed about the fact he can’t record his part without his bass

🐹 to comfort him you’ll need to first pull him away from his work, and get him to eat something

🐹 then just some hugs and kisses (especially if you pepper kisses all over his face) and he’ll feel so much better

🐹 food always helps to clear his head, plus he has you by his side to make him smile:3

“baby~ i should have known you’d come to calm me down. i love you so much~”

[mintytealfox]

I was in a writing mood today so I started this mess lol the opening from the 'da capo zentradi au' that needs a new name 😂 I didn't edit much so good luck LOL

Some background:

Two species of humanoid now inhabit the same planet. One from another dead planet and seeking refuge and a new place to live (the humans). This was met with hostility from the original habitants (the larger one). A war broke out for 10 years, for the humans to come on top in the end. The larger species are now used as a sort of work horse in most cases. Some manual labor, others protecting the area and hunting, etc. there are still Nobels and high ups in politics but the less well-off tend to be put to difficult work and conditions. Even though the humans have the tech to make it easier, just don’t want to waste resources.  It’s a political way to keep them down, busy and obedient basically. 🙃

Norton, of course, works in the mines.

——

He awoke in a jolt as lights flashed on with what seemed like the blinding power of the sun. In an attempt to shield his eyes, he found that his wrists are bound behind him in the chair he is…tied to? Norton’s senses aren’t returning fast enough to get a decent grasp on what is happening here. Then a muffled sound hits his ears and his left one flicks in intrigue, trying to make out what it is…a voice? Maybe this voice has answers…

“…what’s going on? Where am I?”

A muffled response, he assumes that is what it is. The timing checked out for it to have been someone responding to him. He groans, irritated that his ears can’t make out what’s being said. Bobbing his head down and lightly shaking it, maybe this useless motion will bring back his senses.

The sound of fingers snapping brings him to attention, this being the first thing of clarity. Blinking his eyes, he is finally able to see a blurred individual come into clear view. Norton squints, “who are you…where am I? Why am I bound?”

“It’s me who should be asking questions Mr. Campbell…”

Norton arches a brow; he is only ever referred to this way when he’s in trouble. He looks around the clearing room, finding it blindingly white, every corner of it, with blaring lights above. There’s a window where he can only see himself but feels peering eyes watching him from the other side, then the sound waves from the wretched machine that dampens his enhanced hearing. Norton grits his teeth, the situation becoming more unideal the clearer the picture gets.

The only other individual in the room is seated across the table, studying Norton, patiently waiting for his ‘guest’ to get his bearings. “Judging by your jaw clenching, you’ve realized where you are…”

“Your kind had no right to do this. Take me….forcing me here…”

The individual shakes his head, “don’t be angry with me, I am the one trying to help you.”

Norton scoffs, “help me? Why would a human possibly help me?”

The man in white smiles, “well, I’m not fully human you see.” -he points at the slight point his ears come to-

“Is that supposed to comfort me? Finding out you’re half of two worlds? You’re associated with the people who took me, forced my body into this weak size, and hold me captive!” Norton yanks at his bindings in frustration. In this situation he should be doing all he can to keep his emotions in check, but the constant bombardment of: blinding light, deafening sound waves, and tight painful bindings on his body that was forced to biologically mutate in those stupid machines created to help his kind integrate with humans (make them human sized, the same process can return them to normal), if wished….All of this clashing together to make self-control difficult…purposely so….

The man in white remains silent as he carefully unfolds a loaf of freshly made bread and uncapping a jar of milk. This action alone bringing silence and potential obedience back into the room.

“Mr, Campbell…you can have this and your freedom if you answer some questions for me.”

Norton’s ears flick in curiosity, the scent of the fresh bread calming him, “about what?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten? Maybe you hit your head harder than originally thought…” the words trail off as he adjusts his monocle.

Norton tilts his head, then looks down at the human clothes he is wearing, he grimaces, well now he can’t check to see the state his work clothes were in, could have been a clue, and tries to wrack his brain for any memory of what happened before this. He catches a glimpse of the man across from him and is confused by the expression. This expression of joy?

“This memory loss can work in our favor.”

“Our—?”

“Yes~ Here” he scoots the bread and milk over to Norton’s side and snaps his fingers. Two guards enter and undo the bindings and take their new posts on either side of the suspect.

Norton watches this situation play out with palpable confusion, then lightly flinches as a hand is suddenly extended towards him for a shake.

“Call me, Orpheus. Shake my hand if you agree with this simple term, ‘I help you, you help me’ how does that sound?”

“What would you helping me entail?”

“? That memory loss is doing a number on you~” Orpheus smiles, “I’m getting you out of here and back home”

“Wh—“

“Just shake my hand so we can get on with it”

This has something suspicious written all over it, but honestly, he would do anything to never be in this situation again and this guy seems like someone who could ensure that. “Fine.” and takes his hand in a firm shake.

———

5 years later

Norton is in his small living quarters. Exhaustion dripping from him as he sits in silence after a long day. It’s frustrating how the humans call him and his colleagues in for every little thing. You’d think the species would be more capable since they are the ones who won the war all those years back. He takes a towel and wipes the coal from his face as best he can without water, not having much energy to care about fully cleaning up at the moment.

A chime plays, signifying someone is outside. Dumbfounded, Norton gets up and walks over to press the button to open the sliding metal door, but…no one is there. Looking from side to side he suddenly hears a voice clearing itself from below. His eyes shoot downward and spot the man from 5 years ago.

“You..?”

“My, my, forgotten my name have we. We really should have gotten that head of yours checked more thoroughly.” Orpheus just walks under Norton’s legs and enters the living quarters.

“Sure…just come in then…” slightly annoyed, Norton closes the door and turns to face him.

“Do you at least remember the deal we made?” His voice nonchalant as he cleans his monocle.

“Yes, I recall, Orpheus…”

He smiles, pleased and looks all the way up at his friend returned to his proper height. “Fantastic, how do you feel about getting rid of someone for me?”

Norton’s brows furrow, “‘get rid of’?”

“Yes, I need you to kill someone.”

[glossyybabie]

awareness

part 1 || part 2 || part 3

Summary: You hate not knowing, so you make the executive decision to look for answers yourself.

Warnings: Kidnapping. Blood. Gore-ish, bit unpleasant you know. Missy, again, isn’t exactly lovely.

Word count: 869

Notes: God bless Saturday nights, because they turn out to be the perfect time to write. I’m still reeling from a silverfish incident in my kitchen today (worst one yet), so this was somehow a stress reliever. I did say this would be a multi-part fic. It’s a bit all over the place, so sorry about that. Slay slay slay!

Your eyes peeled open again against the crust that had formed around your eyelashes. It was easier to wake up this time compared to last, and faster too; it helped that you were no longer chained down by the aftershocks of completely debilitating pain.

You used your hands to shuffle up into a sitting position. You weren't able to earlier, but even now it still ached to do so. Your body felt weak. Your joints had very much given up.

Your gaze flitted around, partially in search of that strange woman from earlier but mostly in an attempt to gauge a better understanding of your surroundings, but then it settled on the small table beside your bed. There was nothing on top except a single item — a small black box.

Instinctively you shivered. You remembered that box in the back of your mind. She’d been holding it as she spoke to you, and now it sat there motionlessly beside you, a taunting reminder of how harmless the metal cuboid could be.

You swivelled around and let your legs dangle off the edge of the bed until your feet were planted firmly on the floor. Pushing yourself into a standing position was worryingly difficult, but definitely doable with some considerable discomfort. You grimaced, clutching your stomach, and started to move your feet forwards.

Now that you were standing some distance away from your hospital-esque bed, you had a clearer view of your surroundings, but that only left your tired brain more confused. The walls at both ends of the room had been replaced with mirrors which immediately began to mess with your sense of perception and had your head spinning. There was no one else in sight. It was just you and some empty hospital room.

There was a door at the right end of the room, beside the mirror wall. It was the first door you noticed, and definitely the easiest to reach from where you were standing. With carefully balanced steps, you began to approach it, with one of your hands reaching out just a hair’s breadth away from the handle.

Your hand froze at the sound of a scream, and the back of your neck prickled. It was ear-splitting, even though so distant and muffled — it was as if you could hear the thorough cry of terror that soon became one of agony.

You weren’t really sure at what point you’d begun to walk towards the sound, but by the time you became consciously aware of the fact that you were walking towards it, you were already just inches away from a door at the other end of the room. Your fingers curled around the cold steel handle and slowly turned it, with no resistance at all, to your mild surprise.

You froze.

It was the woman earlier, but she hadn’t been the one screaming.

There was a man laid out on a bed identical to the one you’d woken up on, his eyes bloodshot and wide, but his entire body unmoving and unresponsive, with a clean horizontal line sliced straight through his neck.

The woman was standing over him, gripping a knife that was coated in a fresh layer of blood, as were her hands, as was her blouse, as was the bed, as was what remained of the man–

–oOo–

You stirred, or at least you hoped you were stirring. You were sick and tired of not knowing what was real and what wasn’t, what was a figment of your imagination and what was painful reality.

“Oh, this is real. But then again, how will you ever truly know?”

You were on the floor this time. That was the first environmental difference you became aware of. Your kidnapper — kidnapper? Yeah, this was definitely extreme enough to use that word — hadn’t taken the courtesy to place you on a bed this time. The floor was shiny, and beside your feet were broad splatters of blood.

“Funny things, humans. Your sense of perception is like play dough.”

You looked up, but only for a moment. Your gaze flittered towards the woman just for long enough to recognise her from earlier. Now that you’d seen her a few times, you were able to actually retain memory of her face, her strong cheekbones and her cruel scrutinising eyes. She was sitting directly beside the body of a man. Her cream blouse was a mess of crimson.

Just as you began to avert your eyes away, you felt her strong gaze land on you instead. Her eyes were burning holes in the side of your head. The longer she looked, the more physically uncomfortable you felt.

“Confused?” she probed.

Your mouth opened slightly, but your painfully dry throat made it difficult to force any noise out, or at least none that would sound remotely tangible. For a few moments, you questioned whether you even remembered how to speak at all.

And then you managed three words. “Who are you?”

“Hm. I was beginning to think you’d never ask.” A blunt force shoved your chin upwards and around, one you quickly gathered to be the toe of the woman’s boot. “I am your mistress, and you, my dear, will obey me.”

[pallastrology]

🌑 march 2023 lunar events 🌑

hello friends,

today we're looking at the lunar events of march 2023! i apologise that this post is a little late, i hope you can still find it helpful :-)

kira xo

1st - the month begins with the moon in waxing gibbous, in jittery gemini. we might be feeling a sense of urgency, like we're scurrying to prepare for the climax of the month, and the respite we deserve afterwards.

7th - the full moon in virgo arrives. it's time to embrace both sides of the healer and take care of our minds and bodies. during a full moon, i like to clean my house, tie up any loose ends, meditate, take a long walk and jounral, reflecting on the cycle that now comes to an end. at the same time, saturn is entering pisces, a major transit that may leave us feeling anxious or overwhelmed by the serious side of life. the moon is trine uranus in stoic taurus, bringing a calm and creative outlet to this uncomfortable time. the sun is approaching a conjunction with mercury, while the moon is opposing it. we may find ourselves stumbling over our words, finding it hard to convey our emotions, but revelling in self-expression. we might be feeling anxious or insomniac, but rest assured that this transit will pass, and give yourself permission to rest and recover during it.

8th - now the waning gibbous, and things start to slow down. with the moon moving from busy virgo to the more leisurely libra, we are feeling more congruent and finding it easier to balance ourselves out. it's a time to weigh up our options and count our blessings, while holding space for the parts of life we can't be grateful for.

12th - the moon in scorpio forms an easy trine to mercury in pisces, making for a wonderful time to embrace journaling. we might not be feeling too talkative, but this is a good time to clear our heads via a diary, or a creative pursuit. our close connections feel that much closer today, too.

15th - now we reach the last quarter. the moon is in sagittarius, forming a trine to venus in aries, squares to mercury and neptune, and an opposition to mars in gemini. this is when we might start feeling ready to prepare for the upcoming lunar cycle, ready to move forwards and find a new horizon to follow. that being said, with the harsher aspects to mercury, mars and neptune, some of us may be feeling stuck, frustrated, or like the way forward just isn't clear. spending some time reflecting on what it is we want to bring with us, and what we don't want, could be quite helpful here.

16th - the moon enters capricorn, forming a sextile with saturn in pisces. after a rocky day, things seem clearer now. today is a good day to "get back on track"; have things been overwhelming and piling up? let's show ourselves some kindness and take the time to reorder.

21st - congrats, it's a new cycle! today we meet the new moon in aries. the sun and moon are conjunct mercury and sextile pluto in integral aquarius and mars in flighty gemini. during a new moon, i like to take a moment to reflect on what's led me here, to assess where i'm going and why i'm going there, and to write down my goals for the month. with so much dynamism in the transits today, there needs to be some release, or we might implode. whether that's physical movement, mental exercise, mindful walking, or meaningful connections with loved ones, it's important we come out of our shells and embrace the power of today's transits.

22nd - we enter the waxing crescent phase, with the moon exactly conjunct with mercury in aries. this is generally a quiet phase, while we first start doing the work we need to for this cycle. but with so many planets in aries and a moon-mercury conjunction, "quiet" isn't quite the right word... now is a great time to say what we need to say and make ourselves heard, since we're able to convey our feelings clearly and concisely. conversely, watch out for interpersonal conflicts and impulsive behaviour, as we might be struggling to slow down.

29th - we've reached the first quarter, with the moon in cancer. it's loosely trining saturn in ephemeral pisces, and is conjunct mars in cancer. now is when things start heating up, but with so much water, we might actually be feeling sluggish or withdrawn. it's okay to protect our peace and take a moment to retreat, but we need to get back up and get back to work when we can. arguments can get ugly for a little while, so we need to take care to be patient with our loved ones.

30th - the waxing gibbous brings in the end of the month, urging us to finish working towards what we started this cycle, in preparation for the next full moon. the moon in cancer forms an exact square to jupiter in aries, so we aren't out of the woods of our emotions yet. everything feels bigger right now, the good and the bad.

31st - we end with the month with a bang, in the form of an opposition between the moon in leo and pluto in aquarius. nothing feels simple right now, and we might have the desire to shut the world out. but the moon in leo tells us to keep our hearts open and see the strength in being vulnerable sometimes. taking a few minutes to centre and ground ourselves might be helpful here, so that we can end the month on a more peaceful note.

[blue-corvid]

Yeah yeah yeah!!!!

There are, as far as I am concerned, two reasons to do worldbuilding:

1. Hunting for story meat. (I’m so sorry, that sounded better in my head but then I wrote it and… well, there it is, I have to live with it now.)

Anyway, what this means is: I can see empty spots in the story, and I am trying to figure out what goes there. What ingredients am I missing? Always, always, I am building off of the characters: this character is royalty, so how does the government work? what other countries are there? what kind of problems arise between them and why? this character works with animals: what does that job entail? what kind of fictional animals exist? where do they come from and how were they domesticated? this character loves fashion: what do characters wear? what eras and areas from the real world am I drawing inspiration from? what are the right words for garments, colors, cuts, fabrics?

For every bit of this worldbuilding: how does this make the characters and conflicts richer and clearer?

2. Fishing for inspiration.

Some of this is purely for fun, not things that will really go into the story. People always give the advice that you can’t wait for inspiration to strike, you have to just sit down and write… but if you’re like me, and you need the inspiration, what do you do?

You go looking for it! Find it wherever you can. For me, sometimes that means worldbuilding. Where does the blue dye come from? It’s not story-building, it’s a creative writing prompt for today’s warmup writing. Give me a question to answer and let me use it to immerse myself in this world. From there, it’s easier to transition to getting work done.

The question “how much worldbuilding do I need to do?” is like asking how long your legs have to be for your feet to touch the ground.

i think one of the reasons i get mildly annoyed about worldbuilding threads that are 200 tweets of why you should care about where blue dye comes from in your world before saying someone is wearing blue is that so few of them go up to the second level of "and that should impact your characters somehow" - i don't care that blue dye comes from pressing berries that only grow in one kingdom a thousand miles away if people are casually wearing blue

[hell-much]

Cutting Room Floor - Once In A Lifeitime - XII

SOUVENIRS

A cut scene from chapter 9. Before they go to dinner, the girls stop at a souvenir shop.

...

“Can we go in here for just a moment?” Margaery asks, pointing at a small shop that seems undecided if it wants to be a convenience store, souvenir shop, or bookstore. “I’d like to get a postcard.”

The frown she spots has not yet dissolved when she turns to Margaery. “Who do you want to write to?”

For a second Margaery is tempted to say Arianne, just to trigger that delightful sense of jealousy. She settles on the truth though. “No one. I collect them. It takes up an entire wall in my flat. One for every place I’ve visited.”

“Why don’t you just use your own photographs?” Sansa wonders as they wriggle through the continuous stream of people.

“I tried that for a while.” Door chimes accompanying her words as they enter the store and leads them unerringly to the rotating stand with postcards. The meagre collection lets her wish she would still use her own photographs. “But after a while I lost track and got them confused. Postcards are easier because they come with the town names printed.”

Sansa stands by for another short moment, before peeling away. Margaery watches after her as she wanders through the rest of the small venue and gingerly touches small tacky maritime souvenirs, picks up a few books with a drawn-up eyebrows..

Still smiling at the scene, thinking that aversion is a look Sansa wears entirely too gracefully, Margaery turns back to postcards. She skims through picturesque versions of a light tower, the channel and the castle. It’s the same three images in changed angles and with different lettering and that cuts the selection process short.

With two postcards in hand, she catches up with Sansa, finds her in front of a turnstile display overloaded with dangling gold and silver necklaces. Fashion jewellery by the looks of it, except not exactly fashionable. Muscles tense under the hand she touches to the small of her back, and in meeting her gaze Sansa’s soft smile grows a little stiff.

Her eyes dart to the necklace in Sansa’s hand, the three fish dangling from a ring like they’d just been pulled from the water on the same hook. “That one’s quite a lapse in taste.”

The momentary stiffness disappears from Sansa’s expression as her gaze flits back to the necklace. “My mother had one just like that.”

“Oh.” Margaery touches fingertips to her lips as if it could hold further stupidities at bay.

“It is quite particular, isn’t it?” If Sansa has taken any offense, she doesn’t let it on. Her eyes still rest on the necklace, a thumb brushing over the filigree pendant. “The one my mom had was made from her father’s cufflinks.”

“Was he a fisherman?”

“No.” Still smiling, still looking at the delicate silver fishes, she shakes her head with an expression lost in thought. “It was a local thing I suppose. A family sigil of sorts. She grew up in Riverrun.”

It’s evident that there is more to the story. A young woman moving to the other end of the country, leaving the thriving region of the Riverlands for the far much less prospering North, presumably for love, would be a daring choice today, even more so a few decades ago. Margaery wishes they would have time to learn about all of it. Not just Sansa, but also those other stories, about her parents, about her brothers, she wants to knows those stories and sayings that have been passed through generations. Only the more she gets to know about Sansa, the clearer it becomes just how many blanks there are still to fill. And that perhaps it really is impossible to fit a lifetime in only a few days.

In the same moment Sansa lets go of the necklace, Margaery closes her hand around it. She’s not one to buy girls presents, but this time around can’t resist, for just how perfect this piece is in what it means for Sansa.

It takes Sansa only a second to understand her intention and she shakes her head, with a flush creeping to her cheeks. “No. Margaery.”

“Something to remember today,” Margaery says lightly.

Sansa closes a hand around that of Margaery, her eyes burning with insistence as the fine chain tickles her skin. “I don’t need anything to remember today.”

Her voice resonates heavy with meaning, and that only reinforces Margaery’s intention.  “I want you to have something,” she says holding her eyes firmly.

The silent struggle only lasts for another heartbeat, then Sansa’s gaze drops to their joined hands. “I couldn’t wear it. Jon knows—That necklace and why I don’t have it anymore…There is a whole story to that. I—” The words tumbling out of her come to a hold with a deep breath, and she continues a little more collected. “It’s a lovely thought, but I don’t want—I don’t need you to buy me anything. Really.”

Pleading eyes that cling to her with a sense of desperation let Margaery surrender her struggle unwillingly. “Fine,” she agrees softly, pulling her hand from Sansa’s grip that holds on like she’s afraid she’ll make a run for the register. Sansa watches closely as she sets the necklace back and only releases a breath of relief when it’s dangling on the display stand once more. “I won’t force any pretty jewellery on you.”

“Appreciated,” Sansa gives back, striving for lightness in her tone.

Cupping her elbow, Margaery urges her a few steps away and picks up a book. “Maybe this here is more up your alley?” Smirking she shows her the title Forgotten Heroes of the Night’s Watch.

Rid of the imminent danger of having jewellery forced on her Sansa laughs. “Gods forbid.” Turning the book between her hands she mumbles with a frown, “The necklace would be easier to explain to Jon.”

In the second she skims over the blurb, Margaery’s eyes dart back to the necklace. Without knowing why, without a plan in mind, but in a spur she can’t let pass her by, she picks it off the stand.

The thin chain pool in her palm and her hand has barely closed around it, when Sansa’s looks up again. “I hardly dare say it,” she says with a teasing smile. “Will you forgive me for passing on that one too?”

Margaery sighs in feigned exasperation. “You’re just impossible to buy for.”

“How about I let you buy me dinner?”

With her eyes darting to Sansa’s lips Margaery compels herself to take a step back. “Funny you think that was ever up for discussion,” she quips and holds up the postcard. “Let me just pay for this here.”

Making her way to the till, she breathes in relief when Sansa does not follow her.

As they leave the shop, that has accumulated all the warmth of the day, Margaery notices for the first time how it’s become fresher. She hooks her arm tightly through Sansa’s as they stroll on. The necklace weighs next to nothing and still weighs heavy like a brick in the pocket of her dress. She still has no clue why she bought it or what to do with it, but she just knows she would have regretted not buying it. Maybe she’ll just leave it in the pocket, for Sansa to find on her own one day that she defied her.

[myadhddiaries]

Day 2 on meds

It’s 2 AM and I’ve been trying to stay off my phone to go to sleep but I figured I should write down how things went today.

I had another serving shift today after a pretty bad one last night, and I was still able to go into work calm and more confident than normal. I gave good service to all my tables and upsold better and I was able to talk to tables a little easier. Words came out smoother.

I didn’t take my meds with food but I took them as soon as i woke up. It was about an hour until I got food in my system. I was a little jittery until then and the hunger hit hard, but I didn’t feel hungry again for a few more hours, as opposed to thirty to sixty minutes. I know decreased appetite is normal, but I think I’m still eating a normal amount of calories? It’s at least less than I was.

I used to go through my days and the only thing I’d be thinking about is what I can snack on next, or what I’m going to eat for lunch, or if I can sneak a french fry off the window because I was just always starving. I don’t think I really realized how much my thoughts were ruled by food. I’m still enjoying my food, but I’m not going crazy on portions so far and it’s easier to stop after I’ve started. I still have some habits to break as far as choosing which foods to eat but it might be easier to fight the impulses now. I’m starting to think I was snacking all the time as a sensory seeking activity. The Dr said it might be emotional eating but I don’t think that’s completely right.

A couple side effects so far though are I’m feeling tension in my jaw, and I’m getting some acid reflux.

The executive dysfunction has lessened, (i.e. I can put the phone down a little easier and shower) but I’m showing a little more Trademark ADHD symptoms like starting multiple tasks without finishing them. I got home and in the middle of changing I picked up my fanny pack and took it to the closet? I had my pants halfway down my butt when I decided I needed to move a fast food bag off the bed.

I remembered things at work much easier though. Still couldn’t memorize people’s orders but I was thinking a bit clearer today. All the noise in my head wasn’t so loud. Yesterday and today I’ve been smiling more and saying hello to people and generally been in a better mood. I don’t think it’s anything close to manic, I’m still pretty stressed, but I know it’s a transitional spot and I’m still getting used to them. I’m nervous about how I’ll adjust.

I got tired at about 10:30 and kind of wanted to sleep but I fought it and stayed up to watch TV with Justus. Then for another hour or so I’ve been restless and emotional, thinking about my old Langdale house. I felt the need to stim and was fighting the urge to reach for my phone until now, but I actually feel tired again. I’m gonna wrap it up here and hope I get some sleep

[translationwala]

Unlocking Boundless Conversations: English to Bengali Translation Tips

English to Bengali Translation: Have you ever wanted to learn more about the rich culture and language of Bengali but couldn’t because you didn’t speak the language? Don’t worry anymore! You can translate between English and Bengali if you know a few key words and phrases. This will open up a world of interesting talks, exchanges, and experiences.

Understanding the Nuances: Dialects and Formalities

Bengali is spoken by more than 265 million people around the world, and it has a lot of different accents. Standard Bengali is the main form, but Dhakaiya, Sylheti, and Rangpuri are regional forms that add their own styles. When translating, you should think about the people you want to reach and pick an accent that works well for them. Bengali also has different levels of politeness that change based on the situation. Don’t sound rude by forgetting to use proper names and honorifics.

Beyond the Literal: Cultural Context is Key

When it comes to local differences and idioms, direct word-for-word translation doesn’t always work. It is very important to know what words, proverbs, and cultural references mean in their original context. For instance, translating “তোমার মাথা খারাথ?” as “Is your head bad?” is not the same as translating it as “Are you crazy?” To get around these problems, using cultural guides and asking local speakers for advice can be helpful.

Embrace the Power of Technology: Tools for Seamless Communication

While human translators are very helpful, technology can also be used to make things easier. For basic knowledge, use online translation tools. But remember to be careful when you use them because they might miss small details. You could also use language learning apps like Duolingo or Memrise to learn new words and how sentences are put together.

Mastering the Art of Listening: Active Engagement is Crucial

There is more than one way to translate. Pay attention to tone of voice, body language, and other nonverbal cues when you talk to someone in Bengali. Ask questions to make things clearer, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re not sure about something. This shows that you’re interested and makes the link stronger.

Building Bridges with Patience and Respect

Don’t forget that learning a language is a process, not a goal. Accept your mistakes and enjoy the little wins. Understand that conversation takes work from both of you and be patient with the Bengali person you’re talking to. Respect each other’s ethnic differences and try to keep an open mind in every encounter.

Beyond Translation: Immersing Yourself in the Language

If you want to really understand Bengali, you need to spend a lot of time speaking it. Pay attention to the grammar and flow as you watch Bengali movies and listen to music. Start by reading easy versions of Bengali writing and work your way up to reading the original works. Talk to expert speakers, either online or in person, to improve your skills and learn about their habits.

UNLOCKING THE DOOR TO A NEW WORLD

If you follow these tips, English to Bengali Translation will no longer be a chore but a key that opens up a world of options for you. Learn the rich cultural tapestry of Bengali language and make real links with people who speak it. Remember that the trip is just as enjoyable as the goal. So start exploring today and find all the talks that are waiting to happen!

Source: https://translationwala.wordpress.com/2024/02/19/unlocking-boundless-conversations-english-to-bengali-translation-tips/

[hellishrebukesystem]

System Update—David, Graham, Harley—01/12/23–9:30 AM

First of all, we should say that the update to our meds seems to be helping a lot—it is always like a fever has broken when the meds start to take hold again; like somehow the world has become a lot clearer and safer to us. It has been a great relief to us in the last few days.

We have been looking to improve our writing lately—we’ve started reading “Save The Cat! Writes a Novel”, and honestly we were feeling pretty confident about our own writing, especially on stuff like “MAGI”, but now we are feeling lopsided and at loose ends about the whole thing. Anyone else ever experience that? Where you are completely confident in what you are doing and decided to just research how other people get it done, and then you’re like, oh shit, I actually suck? It is frustrating as hell let me tell you. Anyway, now we are second guessing everything we’ve written in the manuscript so far.

We are without Monster Energy Drinks this morning, which is frustrating in itself, because they always pep up our mood and make fronting and switching a lot smoother and easier. We’ll get through the day without them, but it just sucks a whole lot. Not to say we are actually in that bad of a mood this morning, just to say that sucks to get tools taken away.

We hope to get at least 2000 words done on our manuscript today—most especially because we have not written in nearly two weeks and that is just unacceptable. We have to keep our head in the game. It is not a good idea to ignore a project for too long. We also need to reorganize and clean up our space, as well as do some laundry—it seems laundry is never ending—we always finally catch up only to fall behind in a dramatic fashion the next week. Annoying, but what are you gonna do about it?

This is the cycle of healing and episodes——we are on top of it and doing well, then we are drowning and struggling and then we are back on top of it. This is life. We just have to accept it.

In other news, the littles have been shopping again. They’ve let us know that they want some new toys and we’re happy to provide it to them—but it is a matter of waiting till we have some more money and a little more space to put things like that—we know it means a lot to them—but these things have to depend on the world of adulthood too. It is tough—but we are looking for a way to make them happy.

Ta for now——Graham 🦌