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lucy90712 · 3 years ago

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Dream- face reveal

wc- 1971

Warnings: use of dreams real name

~ I have been friends with this guy on the internet Dream for about 5 years now, we talk all the time but we have never met in person and I have never seen his face. He doesn't show his face on the internet and I've never asked so it just never happened, he knows what I look like all too well because I like sending him stupid selfies and we FaceTime in the middle of the night all the time.

We have been trying to meet in person for years but things keep getting in the way and changing our plans first family issues, then a hurricane and then a whole pandemic. Despite all of this we have finally set a date to meet which is not going to change not for anything or anyone. It's going to be a big day or should I say month, as insane as it sounds I'm going to move in with Dream and Sapnap one of our other friends for a little while to really make this trip worth it even if it only lasts that long.

The process has been difficult because for me to get to Florida I need to get a plane which requires me to get tested before I fly and for my own piece of mind I have been strictly quarantining for the past two weeks but its finally here. I fly out tomorrow morning. I went and got tested yesterday and got my negative result today which I need to get on the plane.

I've been packing all day today because to be there for a month I need a bunch of my set up and cameras so that my content doesn't just stop but then I also need clothes and I can't seem to get both things to fit quite right.

At one point my phone started ringing but there was a mountain of stuff everywhere so I had to dig around to find it and when I did I saw that it was a FaceTime call from Dream, I picked up and immediately put my phone down to get on with my 5th attempt at packing.

"Yo hows it going?" Dream asked

"I'd say pretty average right now I'm super excited for tomorrow but my bag is giving me a hell of a fight" I replied

"Prop your phone up and I'll try and help" he said

I did as I was told and got my small tripod to rest my phone in where you could see what I was looking at. Honestly it was a mess and I was kind of embarrassed but Dream didn't need to know that and besides my face wasn't in frame so he couldn't see how embarrassed I was. I attempted putting everything in a slightly different way to last time which seemed to work until it came to fitting in my tripod and my wash bag of which there was no room for.

"Fuck sake I thought I had it then" I raged slightly

"Ok take out the webcam and forget about the tripod because I have ones that you can use and then try because I think that should give you enough room" he said

"Hell yeah thanks dream" I said after zipping up the suitcase

I flopped back on the floor tired from the minimal amounts of effort I had put in today which just shows how incredibly unfit I am. I recovered before getting up and moving my phone to my desk where I sat to talk to Dream.

We talked for a while until Sapnap came in and I talked to him for a little while, he's been living with Dream for a few months so he warned me about a few things like you don't wake Dream up which I took note of and he told me that Dream will just come and sit in your stream. Eventually they had to leave so I was left on my own to just kind of chill until it was an acceptable time to go to sleep.

Skip to the morning

I woke up at 5am when my alarm went off, I have a love hate relationship with my alarm because I only ever use it when I have something going on which is exciting but the sound makes me want to throw my phone out the window. Despite my annoyance I got up and went straight to the bathroom to shower and get dressed, I thought about wearing something nice but then I realised I had a 5 hour flight and I couldn't bare the thought of being sat down for that long not in comfy clothes. My comfy outfit consisted of leggings and one of my ex boyfriends hoodies because I never gave it back and I'm over it enough to just wear the hoodie whenever I want.

At just before 6 I got in my Uber to head to the airport seeing as my flight was at around 8 it would be wise to get there early. I wasn't sure how busy the airport would be seeing as you aren't meant to travel but I don't think I've ever seen an airport that wasn't busy.

I made it to the airport and as I assumed it wasn't heaving but there was still a fair amount of people around. I made my way through the crowds and checked in for my flight before heading through security and then making it to the main part of the airport. That part was less busy as there is more space for people to spread out into which made me much less anxious about people being too close. I had a little while to wait for my flight so I went and got some food because I haven't eaten today, and I don't want to end up with a headache.

When it was time for my flight to board I went to the gate and got straight into my seat watching as more people boarded but not as many as I expected, it was clear that all of the people on the flight had a good reason to be going to Florida and not just going on holiday and no one was sat together so all rules were being adhered to.

My flight landed 5 hours later and everyone filed off the plane going there own way leaving me kind of lost in a place that I wasn't used to and with the anxiety of going to meet Dream for the first time. I had a bit longer to wait because I had to get an Uber to the house even though dream offered to come and pick me up I told him not to because the less people at the airport the better and just incase people recognised me I didn't want him to accidentally face reveal.

I collected my suitcase and went straight out to the car park to get in my uber who was waiting just outside the doors in the designated area for taxis. As soon as I got in the car I text Dream letting him know I was on my way and sharing my location just in case things went south.

My uber stopped outside this one house and I got out walking up the drive taking in the house number to make sure I was at the right place which I was. Thats when the nerves really kicked in, I was about to meet one of my best friends in person for the first time. This is so insane to think that after all there years we get to do all the stupid things friends do.

I got to the door and rang the doorbell waiting the few excruciating seconds before I heard movement behind it indicating that there was someone there. It opened slowly and the first person I saw was sapnap who of course I was excited to see but we have talked properly on FaceTime before so I already know what he looks like.

Next another person popped up behind pushing sapnap out the way and giving me a hug straight away I knew it had to be dream but he ran over so quick that I didn't get to take in anything other than the fact he was hugging me. He pulled away and I got to look at his face, he looked pretty much exactly how I thought he would from the descriptions I have heard. As much as wavy length doesn't sound like a thing it somehow fit his hair and his eyes were also super green, he was definitely taller than I expected though this man towered over me like it was nothing and could definitely push me to the ground in a second but he looked kind just how you want a friend to be.

After a few minutes of freaking out that this was actually happening they let me inside and gave me a tour of the house showing me my room and the set up they had put together for me with a webcam and tripod just like dream said. They finished off the tour before I was made to sit and play whatever game they wanted with them.

We played an assortment of games for hours on end before we ordered food for dinner which we ate all chilling on the sofa. I almost forgot that my followers didn't know I was here but when I remembered I stole patches from dream and got him to take a picture of me with her to post on twitter and Instagram because people would get it without me having to explain. Not much of a grand reveal considering Sapnap did the same when he got here but I didn't really have any other ideas I mean its not like I can just do dream's face reveal for him with a picture on my twitter can I. The response to my tweet was insane within minutes people had got it trending and they were freaking out with all sorts of theories of if I'd officially moved in or if I was just visiting although both were kind of right.

Having spent a few hours here now I feel very at home they boys are really welcoming making sure I'm all good and not too tired after my flight which of course I am but sleep is for the weak so I'll wait. I have been told to call the two of them by their real names unless its on stream which feels kind of odd because I'm use to calling them what their know by despite knowing their real names the whole time. They have given me a nickname which I now go by to make it fair.

It was sad when the day came to an end when we all decided it was best to get some sleep even though I think their going to stay up and they said it for my own sake because I've been yawning non stop for the past 2 hours but either way I'm going to go to sleep and this day (one of the best days of my life) will become that of a memory.

Although I don't think this day could have gone any better its consisted of everything I've ever wanted to have in a friend but none of my friends back home if you can call them friends are into the same things as me so it never works out. Now I have two friends who share the same interests and have the same god awful sleep schedule so we can stay up messing around together if we want to which is what life as a 20 year old should be like. Fun.

#dream x reader #dream #mcyt #dsmp #dream team

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thosch3i · 3 years ago

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So here's my personal ranking of DMBJ adaptations, thanks @mejomonster for the idea :D

(but psst first if anyone seeing this post haven't seen it already, there's an interest check for a pingxie gift exchange! over here.)

1. Ultimate Note (2020)

So I wrote a long ass post about UN here, where I mainly talk about the Iron Triangle because they're the heart of DMBJ and their relationship is what makes or breaks an adaptation for me, all else equal. But thankfully UN also has good pacing, faithfulness to the original story (and honestly a smoother and less confusing way of portraying it, but thats not saying much), no exceptionally cringy added romance plot lines, female characters treated as well as they can be given they were fridged in the source material, and a cast and crew with a deep appreciation and love for the characters and story, making the most of what they could with a tiny budget and no promotion. (UN is now the most highly-rated DMBJ adaptation on douban!) The main cast is a bit green, no doubt, but the longer it goes on the better they get. (If you scroll through my #translation tag far enough you'll find stuff XYL and ZSX have said about their characters. XYL especially, really understands Zhang Qiling and I will always respect him for that, which is why he's my favorite Xiaoge.) I'm just eternally sad about the ending and that there probably won't be a S2 for the main story finale because NPSS won't sell the rights again.

2. The Lost Tomb 2 (2019)

Before UN came out, this was my favorite Iron Triangle. The Pangzi and Xiaoge friendship was also super cute here! A sorely underrated friendship, for sure. And I absolutely adore TLT2 Xiao Hua. He and UN Xiuxiu would make a great team. The entirety of the first half (undersea tomb) was remarkably true to the source material (despite being unnecessarily draggy at points), and I do like that they made the Bronze Tree arc more of an Iron Triangle thing than a Wu Xie solo mission like in the novel. But uh, the second half of this drama was just...really confusing lol with so many long shots of them trudging through snow endlessly. But it's a cute Pingxie and Iron Triangle. (Saw someone once say TLT2 is the fluffy Pingxie but UN is the angsty Pingxie, which......accurate tbh.) But...man...will TLT2.5 (Heavenly Palace) ever be released from jail ;;;;;; its supposedly already filmed (different cast) but can't air for...legal reasons? idk? ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

3. Time Raiders (2016)

A wacky movie that makes no logical sense whatsoever but God it was such a fun, wild watch lmao. Pingxie were so unnecessarily gay in this, and also TLT2 Pangzi is great as always. I liked A-Ning being a total badass as well. Movie gets a bit sad when you realize there's a deleted scene canonizing the movie as book!Wu Xie's wishful thinking and fanciful story he told because he misses his friends. In reality, Pan Zi and A-Ning are dead, his San-shu is missing, and he doesn't know if he'll see Xiaoge again (which is why TR!WX is always taking photos of him, I'd say).

4. Qinling Sacred Tree Donghua (2021)

So uh this still doesn't have official English subs (you can find it on a streaming site somewhere but I can't vouch for translation quality). But it's a pretty faithful adaptation of the Bronze Tree arc, but with a slight twist to make Xiaoge more relevant. (I'm still squinting at Liang-shiye.) Still largely a Wu Xie and Lao Yang duo mission, though. But the scenery in the donghua is gorgeous and the food looks really good too...and, like, it's a good and solid adaptation. I just wish it had been an Iron Triangle adventure 😅

5. Sha Hai (2018)

Qin Hao is an amazing Sha Hai Wu Xie. I love him, and the fact that ZSX posted a photo with him ;;;;;;;; my favorite Wu Xies ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; (fun fact: to this day, QH's Weibo pfp is of himself as Wu Xie!) But anyway. Yeah I mostly just love Wu Xie here and everything he's gone through and turned himself into now that Xiaoge is gone. There are several UN parallels because they were done by the same company (which is also why a lot of the actors are the same). Unfortunately, the whole plot was....??????? and I wasn't a fan of any of the romances, or any of the side characters in general 😅 Skipped...so much of it lol. Why did they do *gestures vaguely at the entire show* Man at least they had Three Days of Silence. Small mercies.

6. The Lost Tomb 1 (2015)

They did Pangzi so dirty, I'm sorry sweetheart. That aside, the OCs were also a big ?????? and the fact that they had the iconic Iron Triangle hotel fight so early...WITHOUT THE FULL IRON TRIANGLE????????? But TLT1 Pingxie were literally a case of love at first sight soulmates so that was sweet. Also the blood feeding. Nice 👌 This Xiaoge is probably what most of the tomb-robbing world (or very casual dmbj fans ig lmao) see when they think of Zhang Qiling: aloof, mysterious, terrifyingly strong, (and kinda 2000s emo-boy-looking for some reason???)

7. The Lost Tomb Reboot (2020)

Confusingly wild deviations from the original story, really cringy romances + fridged women, and unnecessarily dragged out plot aside, I just wasn't feeling the Iron Triangle in this one 😅 Nor was I a fan of the treatment of Xiaoge. (He was stolen from his mother as a baby and abused by the Zhang family ever since, used as a convenient bloodbag to get around tombs and he didn't even understand he was a human being with a heart who could want things until he met his mother again in Three Days of Silence, where he finally regained the "heart" given to him by his mother that the Zhang family had taken from him...and then the first thing he experienced was the loss of his mother. I think this was the only canonical instance of him crying. After that, he lived a life full of mostly loss and more trauma, being kidnapped, kept naked in a basket, and used as zombie bait when he lost his memories...and knowing all this about his past, Pangzi tells him to use his blood in a tomb, enthusiastically, without hesitation. Like...you don't tell your best friend to cut himself because you think his blood might be useful. Especially not your best friend who you know in his past has been abused just like that since birth by his blood-related "family".) I do, however, think all the actors did amazing jobs with what they were given and are very talented. The effects were also good and the music is fantastic too. I don't think I need to praise Z1L's acting because everyone knows how good he is, and he pulled off that hallucination scene where he saw Xiaoge die for him just beautifully 👌 And Xiaoge smiles! Also very cute.

So yeah that's all the adaptations I've seen! It's past 1:30am so I'm a bit rambly but 🤪🤪🤪

#shouting into the void #dmbj #give me a chance to talk abt dmbj and it WILL end with me being sad about xiaoge #i write fic for the sole purpose of being sad abt xiaoge #which is why all my current whopping total of two (2) dmbj fics are me being sad about xiaoge #long post

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threecrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years ago

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Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

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starglitterz · 3 years ago

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heyy your bored and im bored,, lets be bored 2gether 💗💗💕💕 here let me bless you with another hc <33 (not sure if you saw it but im totally 100% okay if you use one of my hcs <3)

hmm now that we talked about klee and qiqi, i feel like its only fair we talk about diona!

diona huh.. i personally associate her with diluc bc its ironic. they both hate wine and yet contribute to its success. personally i cant fucking see diluc being on twitch or streaming. dont think its his vibe,, WAIT🤩 HE OWNS A PODCAST!!

xiao and qiqi were once guests in the podcast, and diona watched the episode- and my god- was world war 3 coming,, diona couldn't believe her EYES

alsjspadjd your telling ME that qiqi is now the fan favorite instead of DIONA?!?? outrageous!! diona was FUMING when she found out. now she has this vendetta against qiqi and feels the need to always one up her, and what better way than to make xiao suffer? 😈😈

diona BEGS for you to interact and collab with diluc, its only so fans put more attention on the both of you and not xiao thus less attention for qiqi! and is xiao not happy with this...

hutao LOVES this plot twist! she finds it amusing to see xiao grumble and mutter under his breath about the article he saw this morning about how diluc would be better for you than him. (oo jealous xiao arc 👀)

sighs.. first xiao is being bullied by child and aether, then he cant even confess to you, and now he has to deal with diona's little war... when can he ever catch a break? 😔😔

omg bored 2gether,,, are you inviting me on a bored date 👀 /j LOL rin every time you come into my inbox i get hyped 2 read your awesome hcs ASDKJSK (omg i actually didn't see it so tysm !!!)

THE MEGA CUTE TRIO !! as we should they deserve the world i want 2 give them headpats and hugs <3

HELP I ALWAYS IMAGINE DILUC KINDA BEING LIKE A FATHER FIGURE TO DIONA??? ik she already has a dad and that's totally fine but in my magical hc world diluc is bad with kids bc he seems so grumpy but diona is a tsundere so she gets along fine with him after finding out that he too hates wine (that doesn't mean she doesn't scold him abt being a wine tycoon every day tho !!)

PODCAST DILUC GRRR BARK WOOF why is that so cool,,, i bet venti teases him and says diluc WISHES his podcast was as popular as genshin weekly (spoiler alert it actually is, hence why diluc is so rich while venti is decidedly not) LMAOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOO XIAO AND QIQI BEING INTERVIEWED TOGETHER THATS SO CUTE IM ASCENDING AND DIONA GETTING MAD 😭😭😭 BRO DIONA WAS READY TO MIX A WHOLE POISONED DRINK LMFAOOAKJSDKJS

POOR QIQI OMG 😭 diona,,, bestie,,, make it make sense 😧 HELP SHES MAD AT QIQI SO SHE TARGETS XIAO THATS SO SAD LMAJKDKSJ XIAO IS GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION LMAOOOO

y/n x diluc best ship 😍😍😍 you can bet your life xiao is majorly pissed when he sees this on his twitter tl he blocked that account so fast HELPAJSKDAKJS he probably complains on his spam account with some freaking bart simpson sad memes LMFAOOSAKDJAKSJ

honestly ik hu tao just likes it bc it annoys xiao and she LITERALLY ADDS FUEL TO THE FIRE by tweeting abt how cute the episode where diluc interviewed you was,,, she's like 'ooo new ship 👀' and xiao is like '😐😐😐 no.' JEALOUS XIAO ARC SO TRUE,,, and he can't say anything abt it bc the two of you aren't dating so what right does he have to fuss about who you're collabing with??? wait, does that mean if you date him the diluc x y/n agenda will be stopped ?! xiao suddenly gains the courage to FINALLY confess... and you accept and suddenly you're kissing him?! or so he thought, until he woke up the next morning and had to take a cold shower 😔

HELP I LOVE THIS SM 🥺‼ poor xiao omg 😭 and y/n is NOT completely oblivious but she thinks it's funny to tease xiao bc she's too scared to confess as well,,, so perhaps this is just a crazy way of weaseling a confession out of the super aloof xiao??? 👀

pov i wake up and rin has hacked into my tumblr account and finished cynosure,,, HAHAHSKJKSD /j pls don't hack me T_T LOL anyways ily darling !! i hope you have/had a great day, make sure to stay hydrated <3

#📧 — mail !#rin💌#[📱] ━━━ cynosure !#q.diona #q.diluc #q.xiao #q.hu tao #q.qiqi

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spacedlexi · 4 years ago

Note

hey! what's ur opinion on season 2? i saw you stream some of it but not for long bc i forgot my twitch password. fav characters? fav ending? any way you wished the story played out instead?

ok im gonna answer this in like a bulleted way to avoid rambling too much (THIS DID GET LONG THO...). i answered some of this during my stream so i'll be repeating myself a little bit from there. i’ll put it under a read more for everyones sanity

general opinion:

- i dont think its great (or even all that good) but ive played/watched much worse so *shrug* it couldve been worse. playing it with a group makes it way more bearable and even funny aha so i definitely had more fun streaming it than i did playing it on my own

- wouldve been better JUST by handling clem as the player character differently. it wouldnt have solved All of its problems but it wouldve been less...annoying.... clem needed to have more agency. she was always being ordered around by dumb adults who didnt seem to care for her safety. the adults needed to take more initiative and clem (as the PC) couldve just defied orders/interjected into convos/done her own thing. this wouldve 1) given the player more agency 2) wouldve been a contrast to everyone relying on lee in s1 (couldve had everyone telling clem to stay out of the way since shes just a kid) and 3) made the adults of the group seem less...useless...since they instead are just constantly relying on an 11 year old to do everything. like do more stuff like the "clem locked in a shed and escapes into the house to steal supplies to patch herself up" thing. even tho it was ridiculous that they locked her in a shed it still gave her agency and was an opportunity to rebel and prove her resiliency/smarts/ability against the poor decisions made by the adults around her who think they know whats best

fave characters:

-none lol

- ok im joking but like only half joking. i liked sarita!! if i had to pick a non-clem character (and thats what youre asking) itd be sarita. she had a strong will/didnt take shit and was also very sweet (and cute i think shes cute hehe especially with her little nose stud)

- my dislike for most of the cast really derives from weak writing and ties back into all these adults constantly relying on an 11 year old to do everything for them

- alvin was ok and i warmed up to rebecca after she stopped being mean to clem for no reason. luke was....Fine after the first episode or 2 but gets way too much credit from people for some reason. sarah was also fine she mainly suffered from weak writing. jane was ok at first but she progressively pissed me off...

- ttg has a problem with giving determinate characters really...Any development at all which is a shame but is unfortunately a byproduct of having a budget and a deadline. if you dont know if a character will be around or not, its not wise to spend time/resources on them when it can go towards characters you know Will be around. they handle this better in s4 by saving determinate routes for the final ep. a bit underwhelming to save it for the end but at least they used it to focus on determinant endings instead in s4. its hard so i try to cut game studios a little slack with that stuff. but unfortunately it made nick and sarah pretty underwhelming characters who lacked really any arc or relevancy at all...

favorite ending:

- wellington ending i GUESS??? ive chosen all of them at least once (except for clem alone ending just because i dont want her to have to be on her own with a newborn baby at 11 years old). honestly the choice at the end of s2 is a little difficult for me to make but usually comes down to the fact that jane risked ajs life to prove a point we already knew. which was that kenny was a man on the edge holding on by the universes thinnest thread. i cant trust jane to put clem first and by her flashback scene in s3 i was right not to trust her lol. i do love that aj tattoo clem gets from the jane route tho...ive literally chosen that ending Just for the tattoo before lol

- also the wellington ending keeps clem from hugging or kissing gabe SHDSHHSJ so that really seals the deal for me lmaooooooo youre too good for him bby

play out differently?:

- honestly not..really?? but thats mainly because i dont think or care enough about s2 to think up whole other plotlines...

- someone in the stream chat mentioned that s2 went through rewrites after some scripts/episodes got leaked or something which ALWAYS IS A BAD DECISION and makes me so so disappointed and frustrated. it always negatively impacts a story to put it through rewrites just to counter "spoilers". so i definitely think s2 suffered from that decision. the question is just how much did they rewrite? was s2 always weak or did it mainly suffer due to unnecessary rewrites? what a shame.

- the kenny/luke showdown wouldve had more of a natural buildup than the kenny/jane showdown did. and the arvo stuff was soooooo duuuumbbb and annoying. someone in chat made the point that it wouldve been more interesting if the group that attacks them was the 400 days crew looking for revenge from howes and i definitely agree!! wouldve given that group more relevancy instead of just seeing them as like little easter eggs....

- sarah also had a lot of wasted potential. im assuming they were trying to make some "shes how clem would be if lee never taught her to defend herself" point but i dont agree with it?? because clem was already protecting herself in her treehouse with that hammer before lee even found her. they just didnt know how to handle a character with anxiety very well and it shows. at least they do a better job with brody in s4 (i love brody 💕). they also try to pull another weird character foil "this is how clem would be if she was brainwashed" with minnie in s4 but i dont agree with that one either (clem would be the sophie who dies fighting in that scenario lets be honest with ourselves clem could never be brainwashed shes too smart and strong willed "you gave up minerva. i never will")(they needed to stop with the character foils because they even tried to pull it with FUCKING C A R VE R “we’re not so different” sir im 11)

OK I THINK thats all i have to say. im sure i made other points throughout the stream but yeah these are the ones that stand out to me enough to talk about here

#replies with lexi #incognito #the walking dead game #i wrote this as a draft on my phone and this whole answer almost got lost ohhhhhhh my god that gave me a heart attack #sorry im late to responding to this anon i forgot abt mothers day hsfjsd

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bean-pole-art · 4 years ago

Text

Ed’s Borderlands Fics Masterpost

well finally

here is the masterpost of all of my Borderlands fics posted. most of them are Rhysothy focused to various AUs. I’m gonna update it as I post more but here it is, along with some of my commentary

right from the start big big BIG shoutout to @spoks-illogical-art, my partner in crime, my biggest inspo, without them honestly most of these fics wouldn’t exist, please check out their amazing art <3

(latest edit - 21/02/2021)

Atlas AU - our main timeline, follows events of Moxxi’s Heist. lots of different concepts and ideas but the core really is Tim moving to Promethea to get help from Rhys. gonna sort em here with posting date, check the ao3 series for the “timeline”

Hypothetically - 2240 words summary: Rhys talks a lot, but usually thinks about it too little.

coffee, cats & monographs - 2880 words summary: “Hey hey, easy. You don’t want to repeat the accident from last week, do you?” Rhys cooed towards the cat and picked her up, just as Timothy instructed him to. Hearing these words, Felicity meowed. “Oh, don’t say that. This is my office and I have the power here,” he answered, carrying her back to his personal space.

Or Timothy's cat pays a visit to Rhys' office in the morning. note: I am a stupid mofo and at this point Tim would also have Loader Bot fkjbfd just imagine hes not mentioned cause hes wandering off, typical LB

Have Faith - 1470 words summary: During the 7 year lockdown at the Handsome Jackpot, Timothy couldn't really have any hope for himself. But maybe on Promethea it could be different. note: sudden feelings while watching JoltzDude139′s stream

Warm Cheeks, Cold Hands - 1170 words summary: Rhys comes home early and wants to say hi to his husband. With no ulterior motive. None at all. note: first fic Ive ever posted where characters are married, actually. fuck it, Rhysothy Real, his name is Rhys Lawrence

the battle (and the aftermath) of the ages - 2970 words summary: In a situation like this everything was possible, they could pull any punches they could think of. Four beasts playing against each other, every single one of them thinking of striking the winning blow.

Or Promethea Squad plays UNO. And then watches a movie. note: I love Promethea Squad with my whole heart

okurimono (贈り物) - 4/4, 17170 words summary: “Not a bomb. Just a device with a message for Rhys. Trust me on that,” this time an emoji of both winking and showing off a tongue [;P] appeared on the surface of Zer0’s helmet. Ah. So they were definitely trying to mess him up. In a way. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have any other options. Almost with a defeat, Timothy took the ECHOrecorder right from their hands and looked around it again. Or Zer0 gives Timothy a peculiar mission. note: my first ever multichapter fic. took me legit abt 8 months to finish but I am absolutely satisfied with this. also the bonus ending. yes

(there is) something I see in you - 8690 words summary: How one Rhys Strongfork met one Timothy Lawrence and how they fell for each other. More or less. note: best to go into this one blind, I swear. dumbest fic Ive ever written and please take this as a recommendation

this world is gonna pull through - 14380 words summary: Timothy really hoped it wasn’t anything important. He had that tendency to forget things easily, even if he tried to fight it. But Rhys kept on smiling and went by his side. So it couldn’t have been that bad. Still dumbfounded, he felt Rhys leaving a kiss right on his cheek.“November 11th?

That- That seriously doesn’t ring any bells?” Rhys continued, brushing his hands against his shoulders. Or how Timothy spent one of his birthdays. note: also a love letter for Tim but a nicer one I guess kdjfnb dont ask how old is he i have no gdamn idea man

Strawberry Sweet - 3560 words summary: Rhys surprises Timothy with a gift for their date night in.

Happy Mercenary Day, Mr. Lawrence - 4670 words summary: How Timothy spent his first Mercenary Day on Promethea. note: I swear this is the best writer night Ive ever had. Ive written this whole thing in one night on Christmas day, solely on the inspo of that song I linked

Don’t Go Wasting Your Emotion - 4/4, 17080 words summary: Afterwards, he went around with his usual duties. Getting a quick roundabout from his PA, checking several sectors himself and looking through the thousands of messages already sent to him via ECHOs. Rhys was ready to finally take on the day, yet when he made his way to the office, he saw the unusual envelope right by the edge of his desk. “For Rhys” was written on it. Straightforward enough. Or Rhys gets a letter from a secret admirer. note: another multichapter fic!! this one also took some time and well. its inspired by ABBA songs. cause only I would write a Rhysothy fic inspired by ABBA

Ratchet Effect - 7130 words summary: Knowing just how much overworked Rhys has been, Timothy wants to let them have a nice getaway in Lazy River Land. There's only one problem to overcome - ratch infestation. note: first fic of 2021!! Ive been playing a lot of bl3 suring the writing of it so it has a lot of stuff I had observed both on Promethea and on Jackpot

Reflections - 2250 words summary: Sometimes, Timothy needs a reminder.

Tales AU - second most important timeline. it’s Tales but Tim is a part of the group. sorted chronologically

A Story For Another Day - ongoing, for now - 2/25, 15280 words Tales AU main fic. it’s gonna be a big one

Connection Interrupted - 3240 words summary: With his driving shift finished, Timothy checks up on Rhys and Vaughn's plans.

Completely Hopeless - 1040 words summary: In which Fiona notices that Rhys behaves differently in front of a certain doppelganger.

infinity times infinity times infinity - 3460 words summary: Rhys and Timothy share some dreams and secrets underneath the stars. note: the beautiful combination of Sleeping At Last and Minecraft parodies. I promise it makes sense

reality can be whatever I want - 11420 words summary: “Hey, Tim?” Timothy didn’t even spare him a look, “Are we alone, or is he there with you?” Oh, this definitely won’t be pretty.

After the confession of Handsome Jack's AI in his head and his plan to infiltrate Helios, Rhys needs to set things right with Timothy. Somehow. note: thanosdancing.gif to Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” 80′s remix and a guest appearance from Ferocity but I cant legally say her name here

still here - 2820 words summary: It all had to go down, after Helios crashed. note: I have...a love/hate relationship with this one kjdfbfg I like it but it’s honestly an alternate ending and doesnt fit within our usual bad ending, so take it with a grain of salt. i ten jebany błąd językowy w summary, kiedy ja go poprawię

together at last - 5590 words summary: It all struck him down in an instant, in this one minute. They were all safe. And they were all alive. Nothing was threatening neither him, nor Timothy, nor Fiona. He could finally breathe out.

They all found each other again. note: I am multitasking most time of my life but I dont relate any other fic to multitasking more than this one. I was honestly doing 10 things at once while writing this dfkjbndf

David AU - this one is a sub AU to Tales AU and the plot is kind of complicated dfjkbfb please check the fic for further explanation

building in curved lines - 22490 words summary: “To be fair, you look terrible. You’re barely standing in one piece and none of your coffees will hold you together for that long,” Lilith paused, seemingly weighing the correct words in her head. “You haven’t really been holding on since… We rescued The Double.” Rhys sighed heavily. Why did she have to be so right about everything. Or how Rhys and Timothy adjust to the reality after the Handsome Jack AI. note: bday gift for Spok, EASILY one of my absolute faves and the longest fic Ive written thus far

outside of AUs - some concepts I play with that are honestly outside any of our concrete timelines/concepts + fics not focused on Rhysothy

Real - 770 words summary: Reconciling with your past is a little easier, when you have someone you love right in your arms. note: first blands fic I’ve ever written. the characterization isn’t really there yet but as a first shot at the game and my kind of “introduction”, I am still satisfied of it

(Un)Familiar Faces - 9620 words summary: Timothy pursed his lips and leaned over the wall a little. He’s had enough of this solitude of closed doppelganger cabinet. Today wasn’t the day for another self-loathing session. Today, he should go off on Helios and do something for himself.

Or Timothy spends the night at a Helios bar. But not as Handsome Jack. And not as Timothy Lawrence either. note: personal favorite of mine, tough love letter to Timothy Lawrence. I have so many fond memories of writing this, including getting drunk out of my mind just like Tim and Rhys here

basics of survival - 2010 words summary: Athena taught Timothy everything he needed to know about survival. Now, it was time to put these skills into use. note: wrote this right before rona outbreak on last day in my dorms. thats all

#borderlands #fic masterpost #fanfiction #fanfic #rhysothy #rhys strongfork #timothy lawrence #just tagging characters that I write the most #fiona the con artist #zer0 the assassin #lorelei the coffee commander #athena the gladiator #Ędi's writing

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it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream · 5 years ago

Text

Mr. I want suck your blood - Pt 4

Warning: Mentions of violence and Swearing

Word count: 2,451

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In stories, Soulmates were meant to be the real deal. They were forever. They were two individuals who were brought together by the universe so their lives finally made perfect sense.

You'd never heard of Soulmates ‘Taking a break’ or ‘Splitting up,’ it wasn't something that happened. That’s not what happened in the stories.

Thats just the thing though. Life isn't a story. Life’s a bitch.

Y/N POV

It had been 1 Hour 19 minutes and 45 seconds since Carlisle shattered your world. 1 Hour, 22 minutes and 23 seconds since you had ripped out your IV line and stormed out of the Cullen house. 1 Hour, 28 minutes and 15 seconds, since Carlisle Cullen, your SOULMATE, decided to call it quits.

Carlisle’s words were still ringing in your ears. “It’s safer this way.” or “Now you can live a normal human life.” You felt numb.

-1 Hour, 19 minutes and 45 seconds ago-

You looked up as you saw Carlisle standing in the wooden door frame. You smiled and placed a hand on your fast beating heart relieved to see him unscathed. Bella had swiftly exited the room. It was just the two of you now. You could tell straight away that something was wrong. Your heart started racing again.

You sat there and listened, as Carlisle took your hand and proceeded to shatter your world. He’d decided that being together, it was too dangerous. He couldn't put you in danger again, couldn’t watch you bleed in his arms again. You both argued. It was his over protective nature, that was the cause of this.

“What about Bella and Edward? She’s still human?!” Apparently it was an invalid argument. Invalid my ass. He wouldn't budge. He thought some time apart would be for the best, even if saying it did secretly pain him.

You were angry, so angry that you ripped out your own IV, not without gagging of course. The screaming and arguing drew the attention of the rest of the Cullen household. Bella was trying to calm you down and stop your arm from bleeding, while Edward and Esme were talking to Carlisle.

You didn't care anymore. How dare he. How could he do this to you? You didn't ask for this life. You'd been dragged into it head first. You'd accepted him for all he was. Before all of this you WERE a normal teenager, with normal teenage problems!

You didn't want normal anymore. You wanted Carlisle, the Volturi, wolves and blood singers. You wanted it all, but just like that, he took it away.

You hadn't wasted any time running through the house, past Alice, Rose and Jasper and to your car. You say run, more like fast walked, your legs were still jelly from lying in bed the last couple of days. Alice had tried to stop you on the way out but Jasper told her to let you go, he could feel the pain and anger radiating of you in waves.

The first thing you did when you got to your car was check your glove box for cigarettes. You got in and slammed the door, you could see Carlisle fighting to try and get passed Edward and Emmett but they wouldn't let him out. You looked over to see Bella running toward your car. You waited. She jumped in the passenger side and neither of you spoke a word. You didn't have to. You started the engine and it came to life with a roar, you peeled out of the Cullen’s drive way with tears streaming down your face and a cigarette between your lips. You fucking hated Forks.

Bella had made you pull over halfway home, scared the tears were clouding your vision. She was probably right, the road ahead did look quite blurry. You traded places and carried on towards home. She was talking to you but you weren't really listening, just watching the trees speed past in a blur, you were sure you could see other objects moving beside you through the trees just as fast, but blinked and they were gone.

-2 weeks later-

Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj blared through the speakers on repeat, you sat staring blankly at your sketchpad, no inspiration, no drive.. nothing. It had been like this for two weeks. Bella had apparently been the same, but you just couldn't shake it. You'd shut yourself off from everyone. Only coming out of your room to get food and use the bathroom. You felt numb.

You could tell your Mom and Charlie were starting to worry. They'd tried to talk to you, find out whats wrong. All they knew is someone broke your heart bad. You'd started having nightmares the first night you were without Carlisle. They felt like more than nightmares though, so vivid, almost like premonitions. You'd wake up still screaming in a cold sweat clutching your chest and crying. Crying for everything you lost when Carlisle let you go. You'd never been in love before and if it felt like this then you never wanted to be again. You didn't think you could love again.

You were spaced out, the music was still playing in the background but your mind was somewhere else, another thing that had been happening since the accident. You just went places, like you were daydreaming, lost in a trance. This time was different though. It was if you were actually there, watching things unfold, only when you came to you were in your bedroom, your paints scattered everywhere, your sketchbook now covered in imagery. You gasped and flew back from your desk, the page awash with shades of vibrant red and black. You gagged. Blood….. and a symbol, it was an emblem of some sort. You shook your head and closed the book on the now dry paints.

What the fuck.

It happened a few more times after that. The spacing out, coming back to earth having drawn on something or once, even scratched symbols into your desk. You'd practically stopped sleeping. Too many thoughts in your head. Even Bella was getting worried, she knew what it was like to spiral and you were doing it at 100mph. She’d suggested talking to Carlisle but you shouted at her for even bringing him up. He left you and hadn't made any attempt to contact or see you. Why give him the satisfaction.

You'd decided enough was enough. You had to start living your life again, or at least thats what you tried to tell yourself. Today you were going to see Seth. You’d become quite close friends with Seth since getting involved in the whole supernatural side of life but you'd been shutting him out for weeks, he knew what had happened with Mr I want to suck you blood, but he didn't ask questions, which you were grateful for. You thought it would do you some good to get outside and breath in the fresh air. You couldn't wallow in self pity any longer.

It felt weird to be in normal clothes rather than ratty old pyjamas. You parked up, jumping out of your car, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. You had brought your sketchbook with you, you didn't know who to talk to about these things, so you were going to show one to Seth, just to see if he recognised anything.

You couldn't help but breath deeply as the air floated off the salty sea and toward your face. You smiled as you watched Seth running down the beach. His boyish grin was charming and his smile grew as he got closer to you. He wrapped you in a hug and you hugged back desperate for a bit of normalcy.

“Hey Seth,” You grinned, thankful for a bit of human, well in this case werewolf, connection. Yeah you had Bella.. and Alice had tried to stop by from time to time, but at the minute they were just a constant reminder of him….

“Y/N! I missed you, things have been so strange without seeing you around ya know!” You bumped his shoulder as you walked down the beach. It had been strange. You'd moved to Forks, got involved with Vamps and the supernatural and in all this time you'd never had any normal time to yourself, or with a friend.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, you know the whole…. thing…” He just nodded his head. You didn't have to explain, he was just happy you were there now.

You'd spent hours just walking and talking on the beach. While walking you had bumped into some of the others as well, Sam, Paul…. You got along with them too, but they had never agreed with your relationship. They seemed somewhat more comfortable around you now. Catching up was good, you felt a lot lighter when you walked, your heart a little less heavy, he was still in the back of your mind though, as much as you tried to think about anything else.

There was an abandoned fire pit a little further up from where you'd been talking with the others, logs surrounded the ashy mound, placed out like small earthy benches. You'd been collecting odd pieces of wood on the way, expecting to find it there. Yourself and Seth pilled the kindling high and he started a fire, he didn't really need to because of his heat, but it was still fun. As Seth continued the fire you reached around and grabbed your leather backpack, opening the zip and fishing inside for your paint covered sketchbook. He came to sit beside you as you started flicking through the pages. You tried to glance at him from the corner of your eye to read his expressions.

“Y/N, these are pretty amazing, and… somewhat scary…” He looked at the book and then back at you. “What are they?” His finger traced the images and the symbols.

You shook your head and flicked through the pages more rapidly. “I don't know S, I…if I tell you something you have to promise you wont tell anyone, not even Sam, not even Jake….” You gulped and looked up at him. He looked confused. You faltered a little, getting nervous you shut your book and started to shove it in your bag. “This was stupid, I should go…” You stood up trying to leave but Seth grabbed your hand.

“I wont tell, you can trust me I promise.” You relaxed, still hesitant, you sat back down. You took the sketchbook back out and went to the first page, tracing the symbols and images, remembering how clearly you had seen them in your mind.

“I drew these. But I didn’t, at the same time.” Seth just looked even more confused now. “I think…. I think something happened to me when I was bitten S…. Something I cant explain. This symbol, I drew this, sat at my desk, one minute the sky outside was light, the next thing I knew it was dark, and the once blank page was covered in all these drawings!” You flicked through the book and sighed placing your head in your hands. He probably thought you were crazy. You sure felt crazy.

You felt his hand rest on your back as you hunched over sighing. “Y/N I’m a wolf, The Cullen’s are Vampires… crazier things have happened, i’ve just never heard of this crazy happening yet….”

You peaked at him from your hands. “Do you know what any of the symbols mean? I see them in my dreams as well, it’s like i’m watching a movie in my head, it’s like I'm there but no one can hear me or see me.. It feels so real.” You sit up, flicking through the pages, before you can turn to the next, Seth’s hand comes flying down stopping the process as he points to one of the symbols.

“Y/N, I’ve seen that symbol before… I think it’s something to do with the cold ones.. the Volturi to be exact.” You groan. This cant be fucking happening. Not only were you dumped now you were having freaky Volturi dreams as well? You searched in your bag for your cigarettes, you held the packet out to Seth and he surprisingly took one. You grinned.

“Wow Sethy never took you for the rebel type.” He ruffled your hair and you shoved him. “Seriously though what am I going to do, this shouldn't be happening i’m human, I didn't turn, Carlisle made sure of that.” You couldn't hide the bitter tone in your voice.

“I don’t know what it means Y/N, but I promise we will figure it out.. cant you talk to Cull…” You glared at him before he could finish his sentence. “Never mind, stupid idea, ignore me.” You laughed and you both carried on looking through the book. What the hell did this mean?

It was late now, Seth walked you to your car, his body still close to keep you warm, the sea breeze now icy cold on your skin. You sighed, part of you didn't want to leave, it was the first kind of normal you'd felt in a really long time, even before coming to Forks. Life in your old place had been really hard, You didn't fit in anywhere, you could count your friends on one hand and you had a strange relationship with your bio dad. You thought things would get easier, Forks had the smallest population and yet you managed to find yourself smack bang in the middle of all this drama, you'd thank Bella for that later. You thought it would be easier living here, maybe you were wrong.

You turned, looking at Seth as you reached your car, you were about to tell him you'd had a nice time, ask him if he wanted to hang out again soon, but you couldn't speak. The waves sounded louder, the air around you felt thicker and you couldn't breath. You could hear Seth’s muffled voice in the background somewhere and a pair of arms shaking you but in your head you were somewhere else entirely.

Cloaks of black floating across the white pearlescent snow, rivers of red blood flowing all around. Wicked eyes staring into yours, and then pain.

You screamed and grabbed your head, it felt like someone had jabbed it with a white hot poker. Images flashed before your eyes, Volturi, Snow, Red, Carlisle. You gagged, so much blood, so much pain. Then, nothing.

Your mind went dark, no images now, no sound, just the sharp ache as you feel your body shut down and hit the solid ground, then the coldness surrounded you.

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Hey guys! I’m sorry it took so long for me to post another part! Hope you enjoy reading x Please comment if you'd like to be tagged!

PT 5 -------- HERE

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@thechangingcolourswithinthewoods

@scream-kiwi79

@kettnerjanea

@caraboo15

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dream-wreck · 4 years ago

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Count On You

Surprise! “Count On Me” has an unintended part 2.

Chapter 2 Title: Count On You Rating: G Word Count: 1,668 Description: When the office door closes, Neil can be alone in his own world. That's not always a good thing.

…..

Of all things, Neil missed spaghetti the most. Jarred red sauce, fifty-cent pasta, pre-grated parmesan (if he was feeling especially bougie). Nothing could beat it. He didn’t miss the reflux, but he’d deck his esophageal halls with ulcers if it meant eating a real meal, a heaping bowl of comfort food that would leave him full and sluggish and knock Insomnia flat on its back.

Neil ran his thumb over a medicine-purple protein bar wrapper, smoothing out the perforated ends between the flesh of his thumb and index finger. The yellow POWER BAR logo rippled and glimmered under his office lights like a cheap trick.

Clearly, the graphic designers had no idea that their chosen font and colors made the meal replacement look like a cartoon villain’s mind-controlling sugar bar. This one was supposed to taste vaguely reminiscent of peanut butter, which he’d discovered was easier to stomach than the artificial vanilla flavor that stuck to his tongue for hours after the fact.

He tore the wrapping down the middle. The sickly brown bar revealed itself, shedding its tacky cape.

He took a vengeful bite out of the bar, feeling as triumphant as he possibly could while chewing something that tasted like cardboard soaked in old peanut oil. Just last week, these weren’t so bad. He could stomach them and they had tasted pretty decent.

I was thinking of you the entire time, he’d eventually say to a heaping bowl of angel hair pasta and marinara.

Eventually. One day, soon. When all this was over, Neil could quit skipping meals and popping pain pills like tic tacs and Mentos.

The single bite of bar began to disintegrate in his mouth the same way a bad piece of gum chewed too long turns into a compound of sand and slime. Neil choked the mixture down and lunged for his water bottle. Empty. He turned to the mini fridge and pulled out an ice cold energy drink that had been sitting on standby, untouched, for months.

“Don’t tell Eva,” Neil said, snapping the tab open in the vacant room. The drink went down cold and sweet, washing the gritty paste from his tongue. He’d regret the caffeine in an hour or two, but for now, the familiar bubbles were worth whatever he had coming later.

A lot of things had become worth it recently. He banished the pitiful excuse for a protein bar to the bottom drawer, sitting down in his desk chair, staring at the paperwork that so desperately needed filing. A fib, of course. He’d never filed paperwork on time in his life. Lying to Eva....Neil had yet to discern if that was worth keeping any secret.

What secret? In the end, what could be worth keeping from her? That Neil Watts was mortal? Extraordinary, but mortal. Extraordinarily mortal.

He thought of Eva sitting outside the men’s room while he retched, stretching to keep pace with him in the hall, reminding him about the simple things. There is so much said in reminding someone to take care of themselves in the little ways, to drink water, to take time. Neil wished he were a better listener, that his pride would crumble for a day or two, long enough for him to set good habits and be honest -- with himself, with Eva, with everyone.

Fluorescent humming grated his ears, burned his eyes. He felt new sickness swelling. He shut his eyes to the room’s blue white.

He’d worry a lot less if Eva would just let it drop. She cared too much, that was her problem. She was usually good at hiding it. At work, of course, surrounded all day by dying people and their repressed traumas, you need to find a way to push through it all without completely breaking down, balancing visible empathy with healthy detachment.

Crying in front of the clients doesn’t get the job done, and it certainly doesn’t look good on evaluations.

Their particular line of work called for expert compartmentalization. Eva had mastered concealing a naturally compassionate disposition behind cold professionalism, efficiency, and control. It was never just another day at the office for her, even if she’d sometimes seem unfeeling when the chips were down.

Neil knew her too well. She always wanted to help. She was a problem solver, always trained on an objective, never one to dwell, to stutter-step, to second guess. She never let things lie. Why should a problem go unsolved?

He used to hold that against her, that she couldn’t let things be, that she could get a little control-crazy when things shifted from their right places into wrong places, drifting away from order like moons out of orbit. But she wasn’t the one who had to cheat on her entrance exams. And between the two of them, she seemed to have her life under control.

Neil Watts had looked to Eva Rosalene for a lifetime of answers. He could count on her for anything. She always came in clutch (he’d been watching a lot of Esports streams lately, picking up on the lingo during his late night nausea fits).

It wasn’t a question of whether or not Eva cared about him. It was a question of, if Neil truly believed in Eva Rosalene, why on God’s green earth had he not told her a lick of truth about what was really going on? He dove down for a good answer, or even a scrap of a convoluted selfish reasoning, but resurfaced empty.

In his coat pocket, a little blue bottle pressed against Neil’s thigh. He crossed his arms, but he only grew more aware of the light pressure resting there. It annoyed him, more than anything, like feeling a strand of hair brush along your skin, but just when you think you’ve swiped it away, there it is again, brushing just light enough to frustrate, to aggravate, to piss you off. Neil bounced his knee, trying to shake the coat off his leg, but the bump beneath the white cloth just moused its way back and forth, prodding.

He should do that paperwork. Listen to music or something to pass the time.

His stomach roiled. Neil slipped a hand into his pocket. He closed his fist around the smooth bottle, ran his thumb over the cap, catching his thumbnail along the ridges there. Comforting, he thought. The action really did calm his nerves.

Eva was across the hall. Fifteen steps away. A knock away. A conversation away.

Neil didn’t bother to set a stopwatch so he never knew how long he sat there, his thumb running back and forth over the ridges in the lid while his mind wandered, imagining the many ways that conversation could go, the look on Eva’s face, the disappointment. Daydream Neil started crying, but Real Neil didn’t think that was very dignified, so he started from the beginning, approaching Dr. Eva Rosalene in her office. Figuring she’d probably be busy, he reset to the cafeteria. A nice talk over lunch. When Eva burst into tears and people from the surrounding tables looked their way, Neil chose the park, even though they weren’t in the habit of going to the park together and never had been. But it was quiet, undisturbed. A gorgeous day in this self-revising simulation. He guided Eva to a bench. They sat down. Eva told him to take his time, that she knew something was wrong, that she was glad Neil could finally talk to her. Yes, he was ready. It would be amazing to finally say it out loud. To someone else. To confide. To confess….

He opened his eyes to the harsh light.

Confess? What was that word doing, flitting about in his stream of consciousness?

An email notification pinged on his desktop. He moved to open it with a click. It read:

If you’re up for it, they’re showing Inception and the Cowboy Bebop movie tonight. It’s the weirdest double feature ever so I have to go, it’s the law.

Popcorn’s light on the stomach, right? Let me know, my treat. --Eva

Perfect. He could talk to her then. Simple, easy as that. All that melodramatic daydreaming over nothing. He could talk to her then. Besides: free food.

Neil’s stomach suddenly felt very, very empty. His usual nausea felt like he was too full and ready to burst.

But it suddenly felt as if something small inside were eating away at everything, the lining and the tissue and the bile, hungrily consuming out of a gluttonous jealousy that which consumes. And when there would be nothing left, that small something would eat the air and the Nothing until an impossible vacuum remained. And Neil would also remain, nothing more than a container to conceal a parasitic anomaly, cursed never to be filled again.

His hand closed around the little blue bottle. The pills inside stirred, knocking against the walls of their plastic prison.

The emptiness in his stomach slowly spread into his hips and ribs, knees and neck, his head and the space behind his eyes, until his whole body felt hollow and the hollow spaces felt sore.

This moment was nearly one of those moments that change everything. Very important, nearly pivotal, but not to be realized, lacking the crucial self-awareness that would have sent things this way and that, particularly along different this-es and better thats. The manner in which a single rock falls prevents or triggers a landslide.

Neil drew the bottle from his pocket, poured two little white pills into his palm, tossed them back. They scraped down the dry walls of his throat, as though clawing for a foothold, before eventually settling in the cavern of his stomach, and almost instantaneously, the pain began to dwindle.

Neil didn’t stop to consider the impossibility of this. If he had, it would have made all the difference. But he didn’t, so it did not, and things seemed to remain relatively the same, the distant sound of tumbling rocks drowned by electric humming.

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Chapter 2 end notes: Ended up somewhere unexpected, as writing usually does. My fingers like to run without me sometimes. Pleasant surprises though! Thank you for supporting "Count On Me"! You all are the best :)

Wubnjeft

...

I've been reading a lot of science fiction lately.

#lol it was all supposed to stay a one shot #that never happens #count on me #count on you #rosawatts #to the moon #finding paradise #eva rosalene #neil watts #fanfiction #finding paradise fanfiction #drug use #imposter factory

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lasercruz · 4 years ago

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@quarterdollar fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call? No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1 .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔 i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery? dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile 😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

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lunarmoonflowyr · 5 years ago

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Because I’m bored I’m going to write down a bunch of my passive thoughts on a new game I started playing and because once I start making streaming/youtube content related to viddy game I might make a video on this

Vambrace: Cold Soul Initial Impressions

Vambrace: Cold Soul is a game by Devespresso Games, an independent game developer based out of Seoul, South Korea who’s other notable titles seem to be a series of horror adventure games titled “The Coma”.

Vambrace however, is a game far more akin to something like Darkest Dungeon in visual style and gameplay design however the Steam store page description has it claiming to be inspired by “the gothic fantasy of Castlevania, the deep lore of a series like The Elder Scrolls, the replayability of roguelites like FTL: Faster Than Light, and the sweeping, character-driven epics of our favorite JRPGs.”

This is going to be a small writeup of my initial impressions after 2 hours of the game.

THE STORY SO FAR

We are a woman named Evelia Lyric, although she just goes by Lyric most of the time so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as throughout the rest of this writeup. Lyric immediately begins showing tell-tale signs of “JRPG Protagonist Syndrome”, as she:

1. Survives being passed out in a freezing arctic-like environment while wearing what could maybe be called clothing for a slightly harsh winter in New England, and comes out of it with barely any complications to speak of

2. Has an (allegedly) famous father who leaves her a Mysterious Book That No One Can Read, and the titular Vambrace, which is now apparently fused to her arm, that lets her pass through what the game refers to as the “Frostfell”, a massive magical ice barrier surrounding the city of “Icenaire” that apparently kills anyone who touches it. Apparently she can also one-shot evil ghosts with it, but only in the narrative. She did it in a cutscene once, and so far that hasn’t translated to gameplay.

3. Has so-far-unmentioned heterochromia

4. Gets a high-ranking soldier to trust her almost immediately when only one brief conversation ago he had a suspicion that she was a spy for “The Green Flame”, apparently some rival faction that’s very, very Not Good.

Getting confused by all the random names yet? Trust me, it doesn’t really get much better. This game’s story shows a lot of the very painful signs of an over-written, over-developed fantasy world that someone very obviously put a lot of time and love into, but didn’t really know where to stop.

Names, places, and concepts are thrown at you non-stop with a new one being introduced almost every dialogue sequence if you spend time talking to the locals of Icenaire once you convince the guard captain to let you go wandering the streets. You can also find random lore pages strewn around the place that add even more lore on top of everything else.

It all gets to be so dense and confusing you almost completely lose track of what the actual, present-day story is. The game has no trouble throwing random scraps of lore at you, full of names that mean nothing, but when it comes to actually explaining what the hell is going on right now, it falls a bit short. Here’s my understanding so far.

Lyric’s father has either died or mysteriously disappeared, I can’t remember which, and she’s been left a letter, a book, and the titular Vambrace. The book is referred to in the game mechanics as “The Codex” and is referred to by NPCs as a “book that nobody can read”, because apparently foreign languages don’t exist in this world, yet so far I’ve counted 6 or 7 distinct fantasy races that apparently all speak the exact same language all the time.

The vambrace has fused itself to Lyrics arm, and her fathers letter tells her to go to Icenaire (I have no fucking clue what that name is supposed to mean by the way, and it sounds really fucking awkward to say so it has to mean -something-. The “ice” part is pretty self-explanatory if a little on the nose, the entire game takes place in what appears to be an apocalypse along the lines of if you took the events of “Frozen” and turned it up to 11, but the only insight I could get on the “naire” part is that it’s from the Irish Gaelic word “náire” which means something along the lines of “ashamed” or “to have shame”. So this city is basically named “ice-ashamed”, which I have no clue what that’s supposed to mean, and it’s bothering me enough that I’ve gone on an entire run-on paragraph to rant about it because it sounds stupid to say and exactly like a city name I would’ve come up with for my crappy fantasy stories that I wrote when I was fourteen.)

Where was I again?

Right, okay, so Lyrics father instructs her to go to Icenaire (blech) and find some dude named “Zaquard Ventrue”. That name also means nothing, except as far as I can tell, “Zaquard” is the pseudonym of one of the people at Devespresso, and the first thing that comes to mind for Ventrue is Vampire: The Masquerade, and I’m not sure it really means anything there either.

The naming system in this game seems really off, it has no consistency and a lot of it is really self-indulgent, because you find out that this Zaquard fellow (in the game) is the big head honcho of what apparently is some kind of resistance movement of the oppressive organization called “The Green Flame”.

So Lyric goes through the “Frostfell” (the magical ice barrier thing around the city that allegedly is the cause of this whole Frozenpocalypse deal) by using the power of the mysterious Vambrace, and...passes out because of it, only to be found by a scavenging party in a tutorial section where the game teaches you how to play it using said scavenging party.

More on that later.

Lyrics unconscious body is dragged back to the city, she somehow hasn’t contracted hypothermia, and the next scene we’re given is an interrogation from some guy who’s last name is Esquire.

I don’t think the writers of this game knew what the word “Esquire” meant, because despite traditionally appearing after a person’s name, it is not a surname, it is a title. So the strange and unconventional naming choices continue.

Anyway, Captain Generic Man, Esq., interrogates Lyric for all of five minutes before believing her at face value that she has a magical super-gauntlet that lets her pass through this extremely lethal magical barrier, when he has all the reason in the world to believe that she’s some kind of spy sent by the people his resistance faction is supposedly fighting against.

And instead of keeping her under close watch until she’s at least somewhat established some trust that she’s not a mole or a spy or an assassin, he just...lets her roam free, around the city. Completely by herself. With no supervision, whatsoever.

As you can probably tell, I already have several problems with this games pacing and general overall writing quality, and we’re not even past the prologue section yet.

Oh, yeah, and Captain Generic gives Lyric some free money for her troubles, because the player needs to know how the market system works and how to buy healing items, and we can’t be assed to have them come across money in a non-contrived manner.

And the currency is really weirdly specific? Its this stuff called “Hellion”, which in real-person-language is a word for a malicious troublemaker or nuisance. But in the same setting where a city is named “Ice Shame”, “Hellion” is apparently some kind of magical incense that the fox people burn to appease their gods.

Oh yeah there’s a race of fox people in this game. They run the markets. They’re less full on furries and more like regular humanoids, but with fox ears, a tail, and pointy teeth, so like that weird halfway “haha guys look I’m totally not a furry” deal thats basically just “catgirls but with a different animal”.

Anyway.

You’re given a fat stack of cash and told to go buy yourself some food from the market, because we need to give you a tutorial on how to buy shit.

So you go to the market and are taught by a smooth-talking fox-man-person-thing how to buy things at a market, after which you are immediately spotted by the only guard in the city with an ounce of sense who instantly goes “Hey holy shit isn’t that the person that literally nobody recognizes in this city that’s been cut off from the outside world for presumably several years at this point and the only other known faction that has the resources to keep a human alive is one we’re actively at war with?” and throws your ass right back in jail.

By the way, the things you can choose to buy at the market are all pretty typical JRPG items that heal stat debuffs, or are basically different flavors of health potion that restore different amounts of health, and for any seasoned JRPG veteran it’s pretty easy to guess what items do what and how they function (sort of) but there’s plenty of unique-to-this-game stat conditions and the way the health mechanic works is kinda wonky, and the game asks you to buy your healing items before it even explains to you how the hell that part of the game actually works.

I’ll go more in-depth to the gameplay once I finish this story synopsis but I just felt like pointing out that at this point you’ve been walked through some of the basic mechanics of the game and some of the combat, but the part of the game that deals with debuffs and HP and how you deal with those things hasn’t been explained yet.

This game is very weird.

Anyway, during the attempt to throw your ass back in jail, some shit is going down in the room that has the elevator to the surface (yeah apparently this city is like, underground. They don’t actually explain why, or how, or if it was like that before the Frozenpocalypse or if the Frozenpocalypse buried it, and if it was buried, how the hell did it get excavated so cleanly like this and why are all the buildings intact? Whatever, apparently the game doesn’t consider this important, which is weird considering all the random lore tidbits it does deem important, so we’re moving on now.)

OH hold on let me backtrack a bit. While you’re being let out of your jail cell because Captain Generic just felt like it apparently, you walk up to this other jail cell with a goth chick inside it and you’re told she’s an Extremely Powerful Bad Guy, Do Not Fuck With Her.

So, as you arrive at the elevator to the surface, guess who just made an escape and caused a spooky ghost person to invade the city and injure two people! That’s right, Spooky Not-So-Jailed-Anymore Goth Chick! Who’s name is Isabel Salazar, and it’s really saying something that that’s the most normal name we’ve encountered so far in this god forsaken game.

So you’re now face-to-face with a spooky ghost. You think you’re about to get into a combat section, you’ve been taught how to do combat, but nope! Lyric just waltzes up to the fucker and smacks him in the face with her Vambrace hand and it...melts...him? Just, with absolutely zero fanfare?

Uh. Sure. Alright. Weird, do we get some kind of special attack that hurts ghosts? Guess we’ll find out.

So the guard who was trying to arrest you, a redhead with pointy ears who’s very obviously an elf but hasn’t directly been called an elf in-game yet so I’m not sure if we’re using that word but fuck it she’s an elf, who’s name is Celest. That’s all, I don’t remember if she’s given a last name.

Celest is reprimanded by Captain Generic, Esq. for trying to re-arrest the possible spy who was let go with literally no actual forethought put into it, and she’s understandably miffed, and Captain Generic tells you to come meet him in the war room because “someone is very interested in meeting you.”

This leads nicely into the scene where our protagonist meets the leader of this massive underground (literally) resistance movement, who, upon hearing our surname and being told we’re the daughter of Some Random Guy, immediately trusts us to go after Isabel and lead an expedition all on our lonesome with a party of random soldiers we get to pick from a “help wanted” board instead of, I dunno, maybe sending some actual soldiers with us.

This leader is the previously mentioned Zaquard Vampire Clan Man, who looks exactly how you’d expect a self-insert resistance leader to look, a young white-haired anime boy looking dude who’s bangs cover his eyes and we can’t see them. And he has earrings.

Farquaad here apparently knew about our dad, and our dad was apparently the lead researcher about Archons (?) and the Vambrace is an Archonian (???) artifact (also they spell it “artefact” in the game and I hate it, they also say “magick” and it makes me want to find whoever was in charge of writing this and punch them) so that’s why he trusts us now, apparently.

We are then tasked with a mission to go retrieve Evil Goth Chick, who apparently is going to go tell these Green Flame fellows the location of our massive underground city secret base, which is somehow super duper secret despite being huge.

Keep in mind that this entire game’s setting is allegedly one massive city, it’s not like Eragon where the big inside-the-mountain Dwarf city was kept secret from Galbatorix, because that at least had the justification of being halfway across the entire fucking continent from the Empire as well as being on the other side of a massive fucking desert.

This is all apparently one huge city! And the “secret underground base” is kinda big itself! It doesn’t make sense that its some big secret!

Ugh, whatever, if I keep harping on about every bit of the narrative that doesn’t make any fucking sense when you think about it for more than ten seconds I’m going to give myself a stroke so now that I’ve caught you up to where I am in the story, let’s move onto the gameplay.

THE GAMEPLAY

If you’re at all familiar with Darkest Dungeon (a much better game) the gameplay is most similar in style to that. You have a party of 4 adventurers, you walk through room after room of a connected “dungeon” except in this case its neighborhood streets and buildings, find treasure, manage the balance of treasure in your inventory vs healing and utility items, and you have combat.

Let’s talk about the combat first, because its the part I like most about this game and the reason I’m probably going to keep playing it.

Vambrace takes a similar approach to Darkest Dungeon in that each character has a certain number of skills at their disposal, being limited in use by where the character is standing in the party order and what position slots in the opposing party they can target.

When you get into combat, the party orders will look like this, with your party on the left and the opposing party on the right.

4-3-2-1-1-2-3-4

The skills are divided into three range categories.

- Short or melee range skills can only be used in position 1 and 2 and can only target positions 1 and 2 on the opposing side unless those two positions are empty, in which case they can target 3 and 4.

- Medium range skills can be used from any position, but can only target positions 1 and 2.

- Long range skills can be used from any position and can target any position.

Some skills also take flourish points to use, and characters build up flourish points throughout encounters by using their basic skill.

Different characters have different classes, which determine different skills they’re able to use.

This is a basically solid combat system, as proven by Darkest Dungeon, however Vambrace falls short of DD in two ways:

The first is Darkest Dungeon’s position system, and its supplementary corpse system, work slightly differently. Position order is the same, however, there can be no empty spaces breaking the line. If the line would be broken, units that are furthest back move forward to close the line.

So say you encounter 4 enemies, so positions 1-2-3-4 are all fully occupied. If you kill the enemy in position 2, the enemies in positions 3 and 4 will move forward to fill in the blank space, so now only positions 1-2-3 are occupied.

This is mitigated in Darkest Dungeon by the corpse system, when you kill an enemy it leaves a corpse behind, which fills up the space and prevents the backline from moving forward. However there are several skills in DD that remove corpses as part of the effect.

This opens up different paths to take in terms of strategy. In both Vambrace and Darkest Dungeon, the 3 and 4 positions are usually filled by the more deadly foes, the enemies that take those positions usually cause debuffs to your party or have a higher damage output.

However, in Darkest Dungeon, you can either run a strong backline of your own and try to eliminate the opposing backline quickly, or you can run a strong frontline and a more supportive backline to try and take out the frontline, and then wipe out the corpses, pushing the backline units to the front and making all their skills basically useless, since most enemies that stick to the back in DD have maybe one attack that they can use in position 1 or 2, and it’s usually not a very good attack.

There are also attacks in DD that you can use to force the enemy to shuffle positions, bringing the backline to the front and crippling them without even touching the tanky frontline.

However, in Vambrace, positions are static on the enemy side. When you kill enemies in front, the backline enemies stay in the backline. This leads to a much more limited strategy, where you pretty much only want to focus the backline first, and the frontline afterwards.

There’s also the matter of turn order. Characters with a higher Awareness stat (more on stats in a second) get a bonus on their initiative and can go higher in the turn order, beyond that I’m not actually sure what factors are involved in determining this. However, the turn order itself is transparently displayed in the bottom center of the screen during combat, telling you very clearly which position on which side gets the next move, which helps out a lot with planning out your encounters.

Once you get the hang of it though, Vambrace’s combat is still enjoyable, and I’d say the aesthetic and environment around it makes it different enough from Darkest Dungeon that I can enjoy playing both for different reasons. Vambrace far more embraces certain JRPG aspects, for instance.

Speaking of which, lets talk stats.

Before I do though I want to talk about one of my biggest gripes with the game so far, and that’s the fact that its interface is terrible. This game doesn’t have a menu for keybinds, it doesn’t let you re-bind things, and its control scheme is a little awkward to say the least.

It also hides a lot of information to be only accessible in the tutorial pages, which you can access at any time in the pause menu, but it makes things tedious because this game has a lot of smaller things to keep track of.

Each character has 5 stats. Combat, Sleight, Merchantry, Awareness, and Overwatch, and each one has a different impact on the game.

Combat is fairly self explanatory, it determines how good your character is at fighting.

Sleight determines how good the character is at scavenging, and it affects the quality of loot you find in containers.

Merchantry affects buying and selling, the higher the merchantry, the cheaper stuff is to buy and the more people pay for your junk.

Awareness determines how well you can avoid traps

And Overwatch determines how good your character is at managing the party during camping.

Your stats can also affect the outcomes of certain random events that can trigger throughout the dungeons, although I’ve only encountered a handful of them so far.

Speaking of camping, one of the most under-explained mechanics in this game is the camping mechanic, and my first and only death so far has been because of a failure to properly explain said mechanic, causing me to fuck it up 3 times before I did it right, and because camping is actually extremely vital to success in this game, it caused me to die and fail the mission.

Any healing items in your inventory cannot be used on the fly, they are only usable during a camping session. You can initiate a camping session upon finding a suitable spot for one, which you can either randomly find in the generated rooms of a “dungeon”, or in between the “dungeons” on a mission in shelters where you get sort of a mini-camp session.

A full camping session involves you selecting the character with the highest Overwatch skill to manage said session. You need to do three specific things to maximize your sessions effectiveness, and these things are not properly tutorialized and are easy to misunderstand or miss out altogether. When the camping session starts, the character you’ve chosen to manage the whole thing starts out by standing in front of the campfire, with an “interact” icon hovering above it.

Do not interact with the campfire. It will end the camping session immediately and you cannot redo it, you will have to find a new campsite.

Instead, you need to find the interact icon for sleep and the icon for music. The first one will restore the HP of your whole party equal to your session leader’s Overwatch skill provided it goes without incident, and the second one will restore the Vigor of your whole party equal to the session leader’s Overwatch skill.

Oh. Right, Vigor.

Vambrace has 2 health bars essentially. There’s your Hit Points (HP), and then there’s Vigor. HP works how you think it does, you take damage in combat or from poison or traps and if you hit 0 you die.

Vigor is basically a worse version of the Stress mechanic from Darkest Dungeon, but instead of ticking up as your characters get more and more stressed out, their Vigor essentially goes down as you walk through the various dungeon rooms, and certain debuffs and traps can reduce it as well.

Once you’ve done both a sleep and a music session, you then need to open up your inventory and use the appropriate healing items to cover up whatever those two things didn’t get. If one character was particularly badly hurt and needs extra patching up after a nap, do it with healing items now. You cannot use healing items outside of a camping session, so do it now.

You can also only use status healing items here too, and status ailments don’t go away with a nap.

Only once you have done those three things should you interact with the campfire again, ending the camping session and continuing on with the dungeon.

The Other Stuff

The other reason besides the gameplay being interesting enough that I plan on continuing to play this game is that the art direction and the sound design are actually very, very well done, with a feeeeew small exceptions.

Let’s start with the art direction.

Visually, the game looks fantastic. It’s as if you took the visual style of Darkest Dungeon but made it more anime-esque and less horrifying, more pleasant to look at. It’s really pretty and well stylized, and is a style that will hold up visually even when graphical advancements outpace it.

The character designs are also all fairly unique, if a little over-designed sometimes. You can pick out all the named characters on sight alone, they’re all visually distinct from each other and are easily recognizable.

The sound design is also, for the most part, really really good. The ambient noise is a good quality, the audio is well balanced and none of it really grates on my ears, and some of it is actually pretty nice to listen to.

The music in the game so far is also good, and while I haven’t come across any tracks that made me want to just sit there and listen to it on loop for a few minutes, I also haven’t found any tracks that made me go “oh god oh god make it stop”

The only part of the audio I have a problem with is...the voice acting. It’s only shown up in a few very small cutscene bits so far, mostly the initial opening scene, but I can’t really put my finger on what’s wrong with it. The only character who’s spoken so far is Lyric, and I really am finding it hard to say exactly why her voice-acted dialogue bothers me, but it really grated on my ears and I was glad when the cutscene ended.

I think it was a mixture of the quality of the audio, it didn’t sound professionally recorded although I’ll grant it that it wasn’t “Skyrim mod voice acted by the modder” level of terrible, but it still left a lot to be desired. The other part that got to me was just the style with which the actress was talking, however I can’t really pinpoint if it was just the stilted dialogue she was stuck with, if the direction was bad, or if she just didn’t really have much of an idea what she was doing.

She had a very monotonous voice throughout, and while she wasn’t speaking flatly or like she was bored, it was moreso that kind of voice people give characters like Sasuke in fandubs, where they’re overly mopey and Serious™ which kinda takes the oomph out of lines that should have had the more somber tone.

Overall Thoughts and Opinions

Keep in mind this is all based on the first 2 hours of gameplay, and that I’ll probably post a more detailed version of this (or make a video) once I’m either a lot further into the game or I beat it.

I don’t hate the game. I think the writing is completely overdone and obnoxious, and has way, way too much lore and way too many things going on without focusing on the more narrow plotline, and I have a huge problem with the very very inconsistent naming scheme, but aside from those two specific criticisms, I’ve definitely seen worse writing.

And it’s not like the characters aren’t endearing in that “this character 1000% slots into a very specific JRPG trope but I’m here for it” sort of way. I did enjoy what I got to see of Lyric and the other named characters, even though they were completely stereotypical and Lyric comes off as a bit of a Mary Sue.

So far the writing is very flawed, but in a tolerable way. I’d much more rather play a game written with love and care and have the flaws come from human error rather than a game that was written by committee to be as bland and appealing to as wide an audience as possible without offending anyone.

The gameplay definitely isn’t as deep as it could be, but the out-of-combat mechanics actually do require a lot of forethought and planning once you actually understand them.

That’s probably my biggest criticism of the game outside of the writing, the game has a pretty decent tutorial that tries to explain everything, but the UI design and how the game presents its information outside of the tutorial works against that and forces you to memorize things and constantly refer back to the tutorial pages.

There’s a lot of quality-of-life things that are missing that shouldn’t be. The ability to rebind keys, the ability to even check a simple menu solely dedicated to the keybinds instead of sifting back through the tutorials trying to figure out what fucking key you need to press for things is.

There’s no hover-over information, on anything. The mouse does literally nothing, you could control the whole game with the keyboard. This is especially problematic when dealing with stat buffs and debuffs, because while you can open up your character stat menu in combat to check exactly what their debuffs do, you can’t open up an enemy stat page and are completely reliant on having memorized what icon corresponds to what debuff and what that debuff actually does.

But if you can look past the cripplingly bad UI and inability to rebind keys, along with the weird writing, the game is actually fairly charming and does have a lot to offer, so I’d definitely recommend checking it out! I bought it on sale for about $16 USD, and if the game keeps up the current quality for a decent chunk of playtime, I’d say it’s worth it around that price. Probably not at full price though.

#moonspeak #Alyss plays games #idk #i was bored

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firelxdykatara · 6 years ago

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Day 2: Hidden Identities

So this is a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short! (lol kill me my jokes suck) ANYWAY, this is for Day 2 of @thirtydaysofzutara and was heavily inspired by @artcraawl‘s amazing Zutara Mulan AU pictures. Some of it is directly from the movie, some is embellished, anyway I hope it’s a fun read, as I certainly had fun writing it!

---

“I don’t know if I can do this, Tui.”

Katara gave one more half-hearted tug, but her father’s sword remained stubbornly embedded in the tree’s trunk. With a sigh, she flopped to the ground, thumping her fists against the hard-packed soil in frustration. Her companion, a silver dragon-lizard with impossibly black eyes, scurried up the tree and perched on the flat of the blade, tugging gently, but to no avail. “It’ll come out! You just have- to be- persistent!”

With a final tug, the lizard slipped from the blade and fell to the ground. Katara pushed herself up on her elbows with a groan. “I’ve been persistent! It’s not working! I haven’t even been able to get that stupid arrow out of the pole.”

“No one else has, either,” Tui pointed out, curling her tail over her shoulder and rubbing a spot of dirt from her scales.

“That’s not the point.” Katara sat up and pushed herself to her feet. “They belong here. They don’t have to prove anything.”

“Neither do you, as far as they know.”

“Sure, and what happens when they find-”

“Who are you talking to, Tak?”

Katara froze. Tui scampered into the bushes with an alarmed squeak, and the moment stretched uncomfortably, as the woman tried desperately to convince herself that voice belonged to someone—anyone—else. It didn’t work; she was pretty sure she could feel his amber gaze burning holes into her back.

He had the disconcerting ability to make her feel like he could see right through her façade—through the warrior she was trying to be, to the scared, homesick girl beneath.

Time sped up again, and Katara turned to look at Zuko, who was standing behind her with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

“Uh…” she began, before realizing her voice was pitched too high, coughing to cover it up. “No one! I’m just, talking to… myself…” She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand (mostly to hide the fact that she kept reaching for a lock of hair that just wasn’t there anymore). Her eyes slid to her sword, still sunk into the tree trunk, about the same time Zuko’s did. Disapproval radiated from his lithe form in waves, and Katara had to fight back the nervous laughter that kept threatening to bubble up.

“Oh, this is… I was just training…” she said, grabbing the hilt tightly in both hands. It still refused to move, and she braced herself with one foot on the trunk. Finally, with an almighty yank, the sword came free, and the momentum sent her careening off-balance.

Zuko ducked just in time—the blade passed a hair’s breadth over his head.

“Oops,” Katara muttered, giving a weak chuckle as she clumsily shoved her sword back into its sheath. “Cut it a little close there-” Spirits, Katara, stop talking.

The captain looked less than impressed as he straightened back up, looking at her with some emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t quite describe. Then he sighed, shaking his head. “Pack up.”

Something churned unpleasantly in the pit of her stomach. “What?”

“Go home. You’re through here, Tak. I’ve tried my best, but you just aren’t suited for war—not in my company. And if you’re the best that Chief Hakoda could send in his own stead-” He broke off, squaring his shoulders. “You’d be more of a danger to your own comrades than the Fire Nation soldiers. And I won’t have good men, even you, needlessly killed because they weren’t ready.”

Katara watched as he walked away, trying very hard to keep from noticing the way his muscles had tensed (probably from anger) beneath the thin padding of his training vest. “He’s right. I know he is. But…”

Tui poked her head out of the bushes. “But you want to prove him wrong.”

A wry grimace twisted at her mouth. “I was too willful and stubborn to make a good wife, remember? It must be good for something.”

“So what are you going to do?”

The sun had set, the last of its amber glow receding from the skyline just as the full moon began to peek through the clouds. “I don’t know…” Katara murmured, gazing up at the sky—she traced the moonbeams with her eyes, until she caught one that illuminated the arrow still stuck at the top of that tall, wooden beam.

She could have had it down weeks ago, if she’d wanted to risk waterbending—but it was supposed to be a physical exercise. For all that she was at a disadvantage compared to the rest of the company (not that anyone but Sokka realized it), the last thing she wanted to do was prove herself by cheating. But there had to be some way to get to that arrow. And maybe, if she got it down herself…

Hours later, the only thing preventing her from screaming in frustration was the fact that Zuko’s tent was only ten feet away. “Come on,” she grunted, taking another running jump at the pole—and, as before, she made it a few feet before falling to the ground in an ungainly heap.

She might have had a better chance at getting higher, if not to the top, if it weren’t for the weights at her wrists. Katara picked herself up for the thousandth time, dropping the weights and dusting herself off. (It was a good thing her family didn’t seem to have the ‘quitter’ gene, or she might have contemplated just leaving, like she’d been told.) She couldn’t help the nagging feeling that there was something about this exercise that was missing, that she just didn’t understand. She picked up the weights again, holding them in front of her, inspecting the etchings in the gold. It was an ancient form of Earth Kingdom script, and she could only make out a few letters.

Somehow, she doubted anyone had carved a cheat sheet onto these things a thousand years ago, anyway.

But as the weights swayed gently on their leather ties, something occurred to her—it was so simple she could almost kick herself for not thinking of it sooner. It was so obvious. It wasn’t just about having to struggle against the weight. It was about discipline and strength—using them to her advantage.

Squaring her shoulders, Katara faced the pole again—this time, when she jumped, she swung the weights, tangling the leather ties together, and she began to climb.

Halfway up, she almost wanted to let go, forget the whole thing. Her arms were screaming in protest, and she kept slipping even as she gained inches in height—sweat was streaming down her face in small rivers, and she could feel her tunic sticking to her back. The cotton binding around her breasts was beginning to itch something fierce. But she had already gotten too far to quit, and so she kept going—gaining inches and losing centimeters, until she could see the top of the pole. She could almost reach out and grab that arrow.

The sun began to peek over the horizon once more, and Katara gasped for breath, her muscles screaming in agony as she grabbed the top of the pole and finally pulled herself up. It was a deceptively wide beam of wood, in fact, and easy enough to perch on was she grabbed the arrow in one tender hand and pulled it free.

It was only when the cheering began that she realized she’d drawn a crowd.

A tired grin crossed her face, and she subtley bent some of her sweat, coating the arrow-head with a thin layer of ice. Just as Zuko’s tent flap opened, she threw the arrow down—it landed with impressive accuracy, thudding into the ground at his feet as he stepped out. He looked up at her, and while it was difficult to tell from how far away she was, Katara almost thought he looked proud.

---

“I’m sorry. About your uncle.” Katara winced inwardly—she kept forgetting to pitch her voice low enough, but Zuko didn’t seem to notice. He was staring at the fire; if he’d heard a word she said, he didn’t indicate it. Which was almost a relief—she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get into a conversation about lost loved ones and not accidentally blow her own cover.

Sokka had been helping as much as he dared, once he’d realized her plan, but there was only so much he could do to keep her from ruining everything with her ‘stupid girly habits’.

Apparently, talking about feelings qualified.

Either way, Zuko clearly wasn’t in the mood for company. Katara turned to go—if she hadn’t already become so tuned to the tenor of his voice, for reasons she couldn’t even begin to explain, she might have missed it entirely when he said, “Thank you, Tak.”

She stopped, glancing back at him—he was giving her at least an attempt at a smile, and it suddenly struck her how very young he looked. Especially for a captain.

He really couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than she was, and it was hard enough for her to manage to keep her own life straight—she couldn’t imagine what it was like trying to lead an entire company.

She opened her mouth to say something else—she wasn’t quite sure what, but since when had thinking ever stopped her from blurting out what was on her mind?—when she heard the screech of a bird of prey high in the sky above them. It sounded familiar, almost… almost like…

She was six years old, and the snow had turned grey from falling ash. Buildings burned, people were screaming and running away, bursts of fire from soldiers in the streets kept illuminating the overcast sky, and Katara couldn’t find her parents.

“Mama!” she shouted, tears streaking through the soot stains on her face, running towards her house. Everything was chaos, but she still knew home. Somewhere, high in the sky, a fire hawk screamed—the little girl could see it circling over her family’s hut, an omen she couldn’t quite comprehend.

When she opened the door, the smell of charred flesh nearly knocked her off her feet. It was-

“The Fire Nation!” Katara heard herself shouting, those last images from her memory still superimposed over her vision, the smell sticking to her all these years later. She wanted to gag, but there was no time. “They’re here! They-“

An arrow whistled through the air and into Zuko’s shoulder as he stood, knocking him flat.

“Zuko!” Katara rushed to his side as more arrows floated into view just over the snowy hilltop—he waved her off, pulling the arrow free with a grunt and clambering to his feet.

“Everyone, get out of their range! Grab the cannons!”

It was pure chaos, after that. Zuko’s company scattered—they grabbed armloads of cannons and their weapons and ran, forcing the Fire Nation soldiers to abandon their high ground advantage if they wanted to do any real damage. Out of range of the arrows was also out of range of their firebenders, and it took everything Katara had not to panic and freeze.

“Sokka!” The relief nearly knocked her over, but she held her ground, grabbing for her brother’s hand and yanking him out of the way of another arrow barrage. “Where’s Zuko? Is he-”

“He’s fine! We need to set up these canons, Tak. Now!”

Their answering barrage sent shockwaves rippling through the ground—when they were down to the last cannon, Zuko appeared behind them. “Hold- we don’t know who’s left. If…”

He trailed off. The smoke cleared, and revealed the bulk of the Fire Nation army still intact on the hillside.

Ozai was at the army’s head. Katara could feel his smug smirk from here.

“Sokka, take that last canon. Hit Ozai, if it’s the last thing you do!” Zuko commanded. “Men- prepare for a fight!”

Katara’s hand went to her sword hilt, but something was still bothering her. Taking out Ozai wouldn’t decimate the Fire Nations forces—they’d keep coming, they’d kill everyone. How many more villages would suffer the way Omashu had? The way her tribe had? The way-

She caught sight of the snow-covered mountain just behind them. They weren’t going to have time to retreat back through the mountain passes to safety, but maybe, if she could only just… She reached, but nothing. Practicing her bending in secret had only gotten her so far, and that snow was too far off. But…

“Give me that!” She pushed Sokka aside and grabbed the cannon. It would work. It had to.

---

Katara was beginning to lose feeling in her arms. She hadn’t realized Ozai’s blade had cut that deep, but now Koda’s saddle was soaked in her blood, and she had barely been able to muster the strength to grab Zuko and pull him to safety.

The avalanche had stilled, snow wiping the last traces of the Fire Nation army away, and Katara finally slid from her horse’s back, stumbling to her knees. Zuko had regained consciousness, and he rushed to her side. “Tak! Are you alright?”

She gripped his arm and pulled herself upright, nodding weakly. “I’m fine, is everyone else-”

“We made it, Tak,” Toph said, affectionately thumping her shoulder. “Thanks to you. That was brilliant.”

The others chimed in, and Katara smiled, for just a moment. And then she collapsed.

When she opened her eyes, she recognized the colors of the medical tent above her cot. For a moment, Katara was dazed, confused—how had she gotten here? Where were Zuko, Sokka and the others? How-

Her clothing had been removed. The breast binding wraps were visible, overlapping the bandages around her abdomen. The doctor was looking at her, perhaps to be sure she was truly awake, but when she opened her mouth to speak, he turned away and left the tent.

Katara sat up quickly, wincing at the tight feeling of the wound in her stomach, wanting to protest—but then Zuko stepped inside, and the words died in her throat.

It was then that she realized her hair was loose—the thick, dark brown waves that just brushed against her shoulders were much more visibly feminine now that she no longer wore them in her father’s hairstyle, and the breast wraps had only been effective at hiding her figure when covered by padding and armour. Now, she felt her cheeks burn as Zuko’s eyes followed her figure, and realized the truth of what the doctor had obviously told him.

“So it’s true,” came Long Feng’s voice as he entered the tent behind Zuko. Where the latter’s gaze was completely unreadable, Long Feng didn’t bother to disguise his disgust. He surged forward, grabbing Katara by the arm and dragging her out of the tent, throwing her into the snow with just her blanket for cover. She fell to her knees before the rest of the company, tears of humiliation freezing to her lashes before they even had a chance to fall.

“A woman,” Long Feng hissed. “A despicable traitor to our great kingdom!”

Toph and Aang stared in shock. Sokka started forward, but Katara shook her head. It was too late for her, but she would not let her brother take the fall, too. “My name is Katara. I only came here to save my father-”

“More lies!” Long Feng insisted, turning to glare at her as Zuko approached. “Devious snake!”

“I never meant for it to go this far!” Her eyes met Zuko’s, and she pleaded with him silently. Please understand. “You have to believe me! I only wanted-”

“Silence!” Long Feng shouted.

Sokka ran forward. “Wait! You can’t do this—she’s my sister!”

“Sokka, no!”

But the damage was done. “You knew about her deception?” Long Feng was practically quivering with rage. “Stand aside, boy, or you will share in this traitor’s fate!”

“Sokka, please-”

He refused to budge. Katara could still see Zuko, staring at the both of them now, sword in hand. He took a step forward, and several gasps ran through the company—Toph and Aang looked ready to rush to their defense, but Long Feng threw his arm out and stopped them. “You know the law!”

For just a moment, Katara met Zuko’s eyes, and thought she saw something flickering in their depths. Something other than anger or disgust. Something warm.

Then it was gone, and Zuko threw his sword to the ground. “A life for a life,” he said, staring down at her. “My debt to you is ended.” Finally, as if only now realizing he was there, Zuko looked at Sokka. “Take her home. Don’t bother coming back.”

He turned on his heel—Long Feng made a noise, as if he were about to protest, but Zuko turned on him with a glower that could’ve melted steel. The advisor finally cowed into silence, he turned to the rest of his men and motioned for them to move out.

---

“You trusted Tak. Why is Katara any different?”

“You stole my victory.” “No! I did!” “… The soldier from the mountain!”

“She’s a woman, and from the water tribes! She’s not worth protecting!”

“I have heard all about you, Katara of the Water Tribes. You followed your brother off to war—stole your father’s armour and ran away from home. You impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Earth Kingdom, and… you have saved us all.”

It was… surreal. That was the only way Katara could describe the feeling that overtook her, when she realized that not only was the Earth King bowing, but so was the entirety of Ba Sing Se. As far as the eye could see, citizens were stooping low, and it was all but impossible to believe they were honoring her.

Even Zuko was bowing—even her brother. She wanted to tell them all to stand up, that she really hadn’t done anything that extraordinary, but she didn’t want to risk losing the King’s good faith. The moment eventually passed, anyway, and Katara turned to find the Earth King smiling warmly at her.

“I would be honored if you would accept a seat on my council, Katara,” he said—Long Feng looked like he was about to faint.

“B- but sir, you can’t just- there are no positions open!”

“Alright. You can have his job.”

This time, he did faint. Katara had to smother a chuckle before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. “You honor me, your majesty, but… I think it’s time for me to go home.”

He nodded, as if he’d expected nothing less of her.

The Earth King gave her his medallion and Ozai’s sword, and when Katara finally turned to go, she very nearly ran right into Zuko. “Oh! Zuko, I-”

“Katara-” he began, at the same time. They both broke off; Katara bit her lip, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat. “I, uh- you fight good. Well! Proficiently, you- you’re an excellent soldier.”

Their eyes met, but Katara was the first to look away, this time. “Oh. Thank you, Zuko. For everything.” And then she left, finding Koda and pulling herself into his saddle to begin the long journey home.

“You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty,” the Earth King declared—sounding very much like he was calling Zuko an idiot.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” From a distance, Katara could hear Grandma Kanna’s voice, “Would you like to stay forever?!” Zuko laughed. “Dinner would be great.”

#zutara #katara #zuko #zutara mulan au #zutara month #my writing #day 2

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batwake · 6 years ago

Text

Living Room Song - chapter 3/12

No one new ever moves to Derry, Maine.

The worst day of Eddie Kaspbrak’s life is the day someone does.

read it on ao3

chapter 1 - chapter 2

The last time Eddie had a crush on someone, he was thirteen and had a broken arm.

Bill Denbrough was just about Eddie’s favorite person in the world, with his soft auburn hair and blue eyes and hands that felt like home. Bill had a way with words, still does, even with the stutter. He could’ve asked Eddie to throw himself in front of a moving train and Eddie figures that he probably would. That’s how Eddie ended up in Neibolt with the other Losers when they were just preteens, barely old enough to think for themselves yet. It really shows, thinking back on it, getting separated and making other stupid decisions. When he’d fallen through the floor and broken his arm, Bill was the first person at his side and the last one to leave it later, a comforting hand and familiar gaze. Even when Mike had taken him back to Sonia in the basket of his bike (had he really been that small?), Bill made sure that he was right there next to him, reassuring him as he pathetically cried.

That was just the beginning, too. Bill’s name was the first one on the cast, Bill xoxoxo written in his curly handwriting, a card a few weeks later signed the same way. He carried Eddie’s school stuff and didn’t care that it made him late to class most of the time, and walked him home after school, because Eddie couldn’t ride his bike with his cast like the others.

In Eddie’s undeveloped mind, it was practically true love. A gentleman with a sense of humor and a cute stutter? Every handsome man in Sonia’s cheesy rom-coms that Eddie had drooled over while growing up was replaced with Bill in Eddie’s dreams.

Eddie moved on, eventually. When they got out of middle school and everyone started thinking about girls and dating and other things that Eddie couldn’t keep up with. Bill and Mike and Ben drooled over Beverly when she finally joined them, albeit, they kept their composure around her better than all of the other boys at school. This was bonding time for Eddie and Stanley, both of whom did not seem so interested in the idea of high school romance. Stan liked birds and that’s about it; Eddie liked a lot of things. He just kept quiet about it.

Realizing he has a crush on Richie Tozier feels a little different than it did with Bill.

Having a crush on Bill was like turning on a faucet slowly, watching the drips become a trickle and the trickle become a steady stream. Richie makes Eddie feel like a broken tap, the kind where you twist it and the intense spurt of water comes out all at once, soaking everything in a two foot radius. It happened all at once, like jumping from the cliff at the quarry, Richie’s hand clasped tightly in his. One second Eddie is standing safely on the ground, and the next he is submerged underwater, feeling overwhelmed and like he is drowning in his feelings.

There’s a lot not to like about Richie. His stupid clothes, sweatshirts that aren’t his and hawaiian shirts that hang loosely on his skinny frame and other oddities that are too many to name, his shitty sense of humor that mostly consists of your mom jokes and obscure knowledge that only he gets, and his insistence on calling Eddie by nicknames that do nothing but annoy him.

Eds, Eddie-Spaghetti, Spaghetti-Man-

Countless others.

“Eddie is already a nickname, dumbass,” he had said once they had retreated to the rocky shore of the quarry, basking in the sun and pretending they weren’t looking at each other. “I don’t need another one.”

“No one needs a nickname, that’s the whole idea, Edward.” Richie had reached over and pinched Eddie’s cheek playfully, leaving pink in its wake. “Do you think that Vlad Tepes wanted to be called The Impaler?”

Eddie still doesn’t know who that is.

Richie makes Eddie want to scream into his pillow.

On his birthday, when Richie had dropped him off as the sun was setting, Eddie had marched right up to his room and had done so. Screamed until his throat was raw and he couldn’t speak anymore; his mother had made him stay home from school the next few days, sure that he had strep throat. Eddie would rather be sick than have a crush on Richie fucking Tozier.

When he returned to school two days later, The Losers made fun of him perilously, and even with all of his best efforts to avoid Richie, the other boy had still laughed and told Eddie every blowjob joke he had in his repertoire. Eddie had wanted to yell some more, but settled with hitting Richie in the arm, then on the side of his head.

Eddie stares at the back of Richie’s head, not listening to Mrs. Wakeman drone on about the medulla oblongata. From what Eddie can see, Rich isn’t paying much attention either, making funny faces at Betty Ripsom, who is in the desk next to him.

“Mr. Tozier, can you please answer the question?”

Both Eddie and Richie startle; Eddie coming out of his daze and Richie turning to look at Mrs. Wakeman, who is at the chalkboard expectantly.

“Lowest part of the brainstem,” Richie answers, grinning wide and confidently, sticking up his chin like Eddie has seen his siblings do on multiple occasions. A few other students in the class snicker, clearly not having expected Richie to answer correctly. Eddie feels strangely proud.

Mrs. Wakeman does not seem so entertained, handing Richie a yellow slip of paper. “That’s correct, Richie. Unfortunately, you’ll still be seeing me in detention.” With that, she returns to writing on the board.

Eddie is forced to quietly watch as Richie takes the detention slip and shove it in his backpack unceremoniously. He knows this isn’t even Richie’s first detention this week, but he still feels a little bad for him.

The bell rings a few minutes later, Richie is up and gone before Eddie can even put his notebook away.

It takes some sweet talking, but Eddie is able to convince his mother that he can ride his bike without driving it into the nearest highway. Sonia likes Bill, though, so as long as he is there, she figures that Eddie will be okay.

“What’d you t-tell her?” asks Bill, raising a hand to wave at Mrs. Kaspbrak, who is watching the two teenagers from the living room window. Bill returns his attention to the tires of Eddie’s bike that he is currently pumping air into. “I-I mean. What changed?”

Not much, Eddie thinks. They’re still popping antidepressants instead of breaking the eerie quiet in the house, Eddie refusing to talk about what happened, and trying to pretend that things aren’t different, Sonia making dinners that he used to like or saving the comics in the paper. So, Eddie says, “she thinks I’m getting better,” instead of, “she hopes I’m getting better.”

Bill stands up and wipes his hands on the front of his jeans. “Sh-she should be a-all good now. Good as n-n-new.”

The bike had gone unused all summer. Eddie had enlisted Bill’s help to fix the unused gears and fill the tires with air. Bill just came with the extra bonus of helping Eddie get away from his mom. “Thank, Bill. We meeting the others at the barrens?”

The pair walk their bikes down the driveway, Silver looking sleek and clean next to Eddie’s dusty old bike.

“Yeah. Ben wants to make sure the d-dam is sturdy enough b-b-before it gets t-too cold to go down there.”

Once down the street from Eddie’s house, the boys get on their bikes and start heading towards the barrens. It’s not a long ride, typically, but Bill seems intent on going slow. Eddie doesn’t mind that much- he’s still getting used to being back on his own bike. Still, he has known Bill long enough to know that something is on his mind. He opens his mouth every couple minutes, then closes it, as if second guessing what he is about to say.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, finally, tired of glancing over at his friend to find him looking back with that stupid look on his face. “Is it about my m-“

“No, no,” Bill reassures, looking away from Eddie and straight ahead at the road they are crossing. “I’ve just… been th-thinking.”

“That’s new.”

Gravel under his bike crunches as Bill stops, Eddie soon after. Bill doesn’t usually act this way, especially around Eddie or the other Losers. “What’s-“ Eddie starts.

Bill cuts him off. “I’m going to break up with Beverly.”

That's not what Eddie was anticipating. He was half expecting an intervention. “O-oh,” he stammers, “okay.”

A shaking hand cards through Bill’s auburn hair. “I l-l-like someone else.”

Eddie doesn’t see where he fits in this equation. He stays silent, his hands still tight on the handlebars. Bill likes someone? Who isn’t Bev? They don’t even really know any other girls, except-

“Uh. Thanks for telling me?” Eddie says, cutting off the annoying voice in his head. His voice sounds weak, despite his best efforts to force out something confident and true. “When are you going to…”

This seems like the wrong thing to ask. Bill sighs, shifting his hands on Silver so he is leaning on the bars. “I don’t f-fucking know, thats the p-p-problem. I l-love her, but n-n-n…”

“-not like that,” Eddie finishes when Bill can’t. “Right.”

Bill laughs but there isn’t really any emotion behind it. “Right,” he agrees.

They kick into emotion again, the air surrounding Bill less tense, although they are both lost in their own thoughts.

Who could Bill, his best friend, possibly like? Beverly seemed like his soulmate, the end-all be-all.

Eddie searched through his memory, trying to recall girls that Bill had mentioned. Betty Ripsom and Greta Keene both come to mind, both sharing multiple classes with Bill. And Margo Tozier, who is like Beverly in many ways and too much like Richie in others. Margo and Bill have chemistry together.

Wrinkling his nose, Eddie pedals faster so that he will pass Bill and get to the barrens as soon as possible, his head reeling with thoughts of girls and crushes and the Toziers.

They reach the barrens, where the other Losers wait for them. Bill and Bev greet each other with smiles and kisses, and walk away from the boys towards the dam with their hands held. Stan looks at them with just as much unease as Eddie does.

Ben, Stan, Mike, and Eddie follow their fearless leaders, anyway.

If Eddie thought that Richie was a mystery, his brother was a complete enigma.

Mike was quiet, didn’t say much unless it was a sarcastic response to something Mr. Mauro or another student had said, but sometimes gave Eddie these looks, like he was in on a joke that Eddie wasn’t. Mike always looked kind of pissed off, his expression only softening while talking about his siblings, which he did not bring up often. Eddie was usually the instigator of said topics, wanting to know more about the odd trio. Margo was always happy to talk, but never seemed so interested in her brothers. Richie doesn’t talk to Eddie in class.

“What’s it like, being a triplet?” Eddie asks one day, avoiding Mike’s gaze and sketching a graph into his notebook. He mentally checked to make sure the sine curve crossed through the origin, Richie’s scolding tone coming to mind. “I can’t even imagine what having siblings is like, much less being a triplet.”

Shrugging, Mike types something into his calculator, then writes something in his own notebook. “I dunno, I’ve never known anything different.” There is a brief moment of silence while Eddie waits for Mike to continue. “I couldn’t imagine a life without them.”

“What are they like?”

“Richie and Margo?

“Yeah.”

Mike plays with his hair for a second, staring straight ahead at the chalkboard at the front of the room, thinking. Eddie focuses on his graphs while he lets Mike think, then startles when nearly five minutes later, he does.

“We share everything. Clothes, food, the womb, you name it. It’s like we can read each others’ minds, even. We eat our food the same way and have the same taste in music, and you can’t find one of us without the other two.”

Eddie looks at Mike, abandoning his wretched calculus work, and taking him in. Anyone with two eyes would be able to tell that Richie, Mike, and Margo are triplets, all of them with the same hooked nose, black hair, and freckled cheeks. Eddie had noticed, whenever Richie takes off his glasses for a moment or during one of the rare moments where Mike is smiling, they look almost indistinguishable. Richie’s face is just the slightest bit thinner, his hair just a little bit more curly, and his legs and arms longer and pointier. Richie talks loudly and smiles a lot, whereas Mike is quick to annoyance and wears a permanent frown. Eddie imagines that Margo is the perfect mix of the two, talkative and feisty and friendly.

“We’ve grown apart, since we moved. It’s mostly Richie.” Mike’s voice is so quiet that Eddie has to lean in to hear him. “He doesn’t tell us very much anymore.”

This surprises Eddie. The few times he has been around the three of them together, Richie seems perfectly normal. Perhaps Eddie doesn’t really know what normal means, when it comes to the other boy.

“Why not?”

Something crosses Mike’s face before it is blank again. “You don’t need to hear about our family problems,” he says, sounding like his sister, “It’s pretty stupid anyway.”

Eddie forces a smile onto his face. “I doubt it.”

He does; The Tozier’s become more and more elusive with everything that Eddie learns about them, which isn’t very much. The three of them all seem so alike yet still so different, everything about them pulling Eddie in for more. He thinks of Richie’s smiling face, and jumping into the water, and listening to music in the car, watching the sunset. They had felt so close, that night, even if they hadn’t really advanced their relationship any more. Eddie knew Richie’s favorite songs. Richie knew Eddie’s birthday.

It was something.

“I can see why he likes you,” Mike says, breaking the silence.

Eddie whips his head to look at Mike. “What?”

A rare smile sits on Mike’s lips. “Richie. You intrigue him, I think.”

“Intrigue,” Eddie mocks and rolls his eyes, hiding the excitement that is bubbling up in his stomach and chest, “how nice of him.”

Mike holds his hands up. “It’s not like he tells me shit. But he talks about you.” Mike, as if sensing that Eddie is hanging on to every word, adds, “maybe I’m reading him wrong. I’ve only known him my whole life.”

Students around them start putting their textbooks and papers away into backpacks or folders, waiting for the bell to ring. Eddie and Mike join them, quiet once more.

Richie likes him. Richie thinks he is intriguing.

The bell rings, so Mike stands and says bye, Eddie, flooding out with their classmates. Eddie stays in his desk, trying to supress the grin that is spreading across his face. He laughs a little to himself, not bursting into fits or anything that would label him as crazy once more, but enough that makes him cover his mouth and squeeze his eyes shut. He lets himself have this moment, thinking about the cute boy who is interested in him, too. Eddie could scream.

He is eventually kicked out of his seat by the guy who sits there in second period, but the smile does not leave his face until he is in Mrs. Quing’s room, long after Margo has asked him what he’s so happy about.

————————

There is a picture of the triplets that sits on the counter in the kitchen of the Tozier household. They’re in the bathtub, bubbles surrounding them and their faces. The back of the picture reads Michael, Margret, and Richard, 4years old and was taken by their father as Maggie desperately tried to keep the three of them still. You can even see her hand- set atop Richie’s head in the way that only mothers hold their children, restricting him yet still allowing him to shove bubbles in his sisters’ face.

The photo itself is quite silly, with Richie wearing Wentworth’s glasses on his tiny face, even in the bath, Margo’s face full of bubbles and a wide, open mouthed smile that Richie put there, and Mike shown mid-scream, tears running down his face.

Margo swears she can remember the picture being taken, and how afterward she recalls Mike elbowing Richie in the face and knocking out one of his teeth and sending it down the drain.

They weren’t allowed to bathe all together after that incident.

Photos like that one remind Richie of a time when they were their own best friends, no one else understanding them quite like their siblings did. But then Mike and Margo got competitive around middle school and Richie never got the memo.

Moving to Derry was a fresh start for them. Richie couldn’t pretend he didn’t have siblings and Mike couldn’t avoid them and Margo couldn’t hide from her brothers. The apartment is too small to hide away in different rooms and ignore each other. Even Wentworth is claustrophobic, his paperwork spread throughout the apartment instead of just the tiny space he used to use in the kitchen when they first moved in. They’re making do with the things they have, the four of them, so Richie can’t find it in himself to complain too much. Who cares if they never have hot water because Margo uses it all? Who cares that he can’t sleep because Mike snores? Who cares, who cares, who cares.

(Not Richie)

Distractions are nice.

One evening, Richie goes out onto the fire escape and finds Beverly Marsh in his usual spot, a half smoked cigarette between her pointer and middle finger. Richie has gym with Beverly, and knows that Eddie is friends with her, but has never spoken to her. He is about to turn around and book it back to his apartment, deciding that he can open a window in their bathroom and smoke in there, when Beverly looks over at him.

“Hi,” she says, her tone almost mocking. “You’re Richie, right?”

Richie’s box of cigarettes feels heavy where it rests on the inside of his palm. Beverly’s presence feels a lot like Margo’s; she sits up straight and holds herself with authority, although the green overalls and lopsided smile and cigarette speak an entirely different story. Beverly’s eyebrows shoot up and disappear almost entirely underneath her mop of orange curls, then her mouth closes. “You’re quiet. Do I have the wrong brother?”

There is a moment where Richie processes what has just been said to him, then, “Oh! No, you were right. I’m Richie. We have-”

“Gym. Yep.”

More silence. Richie gestures to the door he had come through. “I’ll just-”

“Don’t think you’re getting away that easily. Come sit.” Beverly pats the stairs next to her. “Besides, it looks like you have a fresh pack of cigarettes just waiting to be shared with me.”

Richie sits, glancing down at the rows of steps below them, leading down to the empty lot behind the apartment building. There isn’t anyone else outside at that moment, but Richie can hear cars driving through Derry every once in a while, and people yelling from the neighborhood that is just barely visible from their spot on the fire escape. He can even hear music, playing from a window that Richie is fairly certain is his bedroom.

“You’re quiet,” Beverly says, bringing her cigarette to her lipstick stained lips. “I swear every time I see you no one can get you to shut up.”

Getting out his own cigarette, Richie laughs lightly. “You’ve caught me at an off moment, Miss Marsh.”

Beverly holds up her lighter once Richie sticks his cigarette in his mouth, leaning in close and lighting it for him. She smells like smoke, of course, but also like honey and strong perfume. Richie likes it.

Once it is lit, Beverly pulls back, propping her arms up on the stair a step above where they sit. She hums, then says, “tell me your woes, Mister Tozier.”

Richie laughs, leaning back like her and crossing one leg over the other languidly. He sees no reason to lie to his new friend. “I like someone.” Smoke rises between them with the silence, Beverly waiting for him to continue. “Normally I would tell Mike or Margo but… We’ve grown apart, I think.”

She nods, like she gets it, brushing curly red hair behind her ear and gesturing vaguely with the hand holding her almost burned out cigarette. “I’m an only child, so I can’t relate, but I do know that if I were your siblings, I’d want to know what’s going on in your life.”

That isn’t the first time Richie has heard something along those lines, all three of them received plenty of therapy over the last couple months, but it sounds better coming out of Beverly Marsh’s smoke filled mouth. The sun is setting, casting the two of them in a soft yellow glow, Beverly looking almost ethereal.

“Are you my guardian angel?” Richie teases, taking a heavy drag and looking at Beverly with what he can only imagine is love in his eyes. She snickers into her own cigarette, rolling her eyes and nudging Richie’s leg with her sneaker covered toe. Beverly opens her mouth to say something, but the window Richie came out of slides open, a black haired head sticking out.

Margo peers down at them, her long hair cascading out of the window a little. Her green eyes move between Richie and Beverly a few times, before settling on her brother. Beverly is taking her in as well, her cheeks bright pink.

There are a few beats of awkward silence before Margo finds the words. “Dad brought home dinner.” Margo states matter-of-factly, looking once more at Beverly before retreating once more, leaving the window open behind her.

Sighing, Richie stubs the cigarette out on the metal of the stairs. “See you in gym, Beverly Marsh.”

Beverly lifts a hand in goodbye, sending him a half-smile. “You owe me a cig, Tozier.”

Crawling back into the window is a feat with his gangly legs, but he manages, grinning to himself as he returns to the apartment, Eddie Kaspbrak on his mind.

Smoking with Beverly becomes a regular thing, skipping gym to smoke outside. Beverly gives great advice, and Richie likes to hear her talk about her friends. Whenever they skip they leave Ben behind in the gym, so they make an effort to stay once in a while to keep him company. Richie likes Ben, finds him funny and smart and kind of adorable. He could probably beat up Richie while holding Beverly on his shoulders, and Rich would thank him.

It is a cold thursday in October, Richie and Beverly leaning against the brick wall with their knees pulled up to their chests and passing a cigarette between them, when Beverly drops the news.

“You know my boyfriend, Bill, right?”

Richie thinks. He does not have any classes with him, but is distantly aware of seeing a tall auburn haired boy who is often with Eddie and company. He used to drive Bev to school, if he remembers correctly, but Richie started doing it once it became more convenient. Bill.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’m gonna break up with him.”

Richie’s eyebrows shoot up, disappearing behind his fluffy hair. He leans away from Bev, staring at her. “What? Why?”

Beverly pulls at some of the yellowing grass that pokes through the cracks in the concrete. “I like someone else. We’re best friends, nothing will change that, but…”

“Feelings changed,” Richie finishes, frowning.

Sighing, Beverly stubbs the cigarette out on the concrete. “Yeah. Something like that.”

Just as Richie opens his mouth to say something else, something vaguely comforting, the school bell rings. Richie scrambles to get up, pulling Beverly along with him. Beverly is off to history, Richie to psychology. With Eddie.

Ben opens the door to let them back into school, just like he does most days they’re outside. “Thanks, Handsome,” Rich says to him, patting one of his arms. Beverly follows, the three of them heading in the same direction to their next classes. Bev begs Ben to tell her some of the questions on the history test that Ben has already taken, but he keeps his mouth shut tight. Richie wonders aloud how Ben does it.

Richie watches the way Ben and Beverly interact with each other the entire way to class, occasionally jumping in for a joke or a laugh in the conversation so he doesn’t seem out of it. Beverly is a head shorter than Ben, even more so than Richie, looking up at Ben with glittering eyes. One of her hands is always on his arm while they walk.

He hasn’t known them for very long. Maybe he’s reading into things.

“Hey Eddie!” Beverly cheers, waving as the boy in question comes from the opposite direction of the hall. Eddie waves half-heartedly, eyeing Richie beside her, who grins and hurries to walk into class beside him.

“What’s up, Eds?” Richie tosses an arm around Eddie’s shoulders, forcefully pulling Eddie into his side as they enter Mrs. Wakeman’s.

Eddie gags and pulls himself away. His face in scrunched up adorabley, nose crinkling and eyes glaring.“You smell awful. Smoking is terrible for you.”

Richie sniffs at the collar of his t-shirt, then shrugs. “Beverly Marsh is a terrible influence.”

Eddie looks like he might laugh, for a moment, then rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say, Trashmouth.” Eddie leaves then, moving to his own seat towards the back.

Dumbfounded, Richie sits down in his own seat, wondering if his own face gives away his feelings.

It is a rare day where Richie is not stuck in detention, forced to sit in his car for an extra hour after school as he waits for Mike and Margo. The parking lot is empty, cleared out immediately after school got out almost fifteen minutes ago. Richie smokes, his feet propped up next to the steering wheel and his hand fiddling with the radio, too lazy to reach for one of his cassettes.

Bret Michaels’ voice sings thorn for just a second as Richie passes the station, but quickly flips back. He grins, leaning back in his seat and taking a long drag of his cigarette, playing air guitar along with the solo, tapping his shoes against the dashboard to the beat. He sings around the cig in his mouth, belting, “I listen to our favorite song, playing on the radio, hear the dj say loves a game, of easy come and easy go” and waving his arms dramatically. He sings along to the chorus just as loud, every rose has its thorn coming out with the smoke Richie inhales before continuing to sing. “Yeah it does!” he says to himself along with the song, rapping his hands against his thighs.

The sound of a door opening and closing from the school makes Richie sit up, wondering if Mike got out early.

Even better, Eddie Kaspbrak is walking out of the school, his shorts adorable and backpack full of books. Richie lights up, tossing his cigarette out his open window and putting the car in drive, pulling out of his spot and driving up to the sidewalk next to Eddie.

Richie can’t hear him over the music, but when Eddie sees his car pulling up he stops and mouths something that looks suspiciously like jesus fucking christ. Richie leans over the seat and rolls down the passenger window, wiggling his eyebrows at his new companion. “Heya, Spaghetti-man. Your chariot awaits!”

Eddie eyes the car, his eyes flicking to the radio that is no longer playing Poison, but instead Diana Ross. Richie wonders if he is thinking about the last time Eddie was in the car with him.

Seemingly making up his mind, Eddie stands up straight. “I can walk home, thanks.”

Richie rolls his eyes and finally reaches forward to turn down the radio, not in the mood for a ballad. “Oh come on, Endless Love doesn’t put you in the mood to jump in here and ravish me?”

“Beep beep.”

“It’s getting too cold for you to walk home in those shorts, don’t you think?”

Eddie’s hands move to his shorts, which just cover the very top of his thighs. He tugs them down self-consciously, covering the thin white lines against his tan skin. He huffs and opens the door, like he is getting in just to shut Richie up.

Richie cheers, pulling out of the Derry High parking lot.

“Where are-”

“Mike is at AV Club and Margo is running.”

“Oh. You wait for them every day?”

“Usually I have detention so we’re all busy. I was a perfect student today, though.”

This makes Eddie laugh, for some reason. Richie laughs too, tapping absently on the steering wheel. Uncomfortable with silence, Richie launches into some story about something that happened back in Hawkins. Eddie is a good listener, Richie thinks, commenting and laughing at all the right times. Richie even pretends to miss Eddie’s street, just so he can finish the story and keep Eddie in his presence for just a minute more.

When he pulls up to the curb, Eddie stares up at his house, then looks straight forward, unmoving.

Richie just waits, humming along to what is playing on the radio now. Eddie breathes in deep once, twice, then opens the door and swings is bag over his shoulder. “Thanks, Rich. See you at school.”

Richie doesn’t get to say bye before Eddie is shutting the door.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kasprak #it 2017 #it (2017)#reddie fanfiction #shut up mary

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psychosunflower-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Size||Why don't we||Preference four♡

Summary: You struggle with your size, even though they think you are the most beautiful girl in the world.

Words:3406

Warnings:None

Requested:Not on here

A/n:Every single one of you are beautiful! Taken from my Wattpad:)

Daniel Seavey- You stood in the room you and Daniel shared at the Why Don't we house, your shirt rolled up to the bottom of your bra, as tears streamed down your face. When you were younger you were a little heavier than most, causing some asshole people to make fun of it and you. Over the last 2 years you had started working out 3 times a week and you had noticed a huge difference from how you once looked and felt, some of that having to do with working out and some of that having to do with Daniel, he had made you feel so incredibly beautiful. Your mental health along with your actual health had been improving so much and not a day went by where Daniel didn't tell you that he was proud of you and that you were beautiful, he knew how much you struggled with your self image and did anything he could to help you. But all the hard work you had seem to do undid its self a few days ago, the words replaying in your head over and over again.

You and Daniel had gone out to eat lunch, he had been so busy in the studio that he hadn't had much time to spend with you over the last week so he had taken you out to a nice lunch before you spent the day together.

After you had sat down, he excused himself to the bathroom after telling you want he wanted so you would order for the two of you.

When the waitress from the restaurant came over to the table where the two of you sat by the window you could instantly tell she wasn't in the best mood, so you tried to be extra nice and smile more, thinking maybe she had just dealt with a really rude person and could use one.

After you had told her what Daniel had wanted you glanced at the menu one more time before shutting it and tell her what you wanted. Instead of writing it down, she looked at you with an eyebrow raised.

"You sure you want to order that?" She asked, you looked at her confused. Was it bad?

"Yeah why?" You asked, your voice a little softer than it had once been.

"Its a lot of calories,Maybe try a salad honey. If you get any fatter he isn't gonna stick around" She laughed before writing down what you had once ordered and then snatched the menu from your hands and walked away, shaking her head in the process.

You looked down at your hands, tears brimming in your eyes.

You were taken out of your thoughts when Daniel opened the door and walked through, stopping right away when he saw the tears following down your face. You quickly shoved your shirt down and walked over to the bed, sitting down and wiping the tears away that were falling from your eyes.

"Baby, whats wrong?" he asked, shutting the door behind him and getting on the bed, sitting criss cross apple sauce facing you.

"Am I getting fat to you?" you blurted out, shock and sadness plastered his face. Daniel never really understood why you were so self conscious, from the moment he met you he thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and even though he was proud of you for working out and trying to better yourself he never even thought for a second that you needed to lose weight and he could've cared less if you gained. You would always be perfect to him, no matter what.

"What baby? No why would you ask that?" He asked, reaching his arms out and pulling you onto his lap, your head now leaning on his shoulder as your legs hung over his lap and on the bed.

"When we went for lunch the other day.. you went to the bathroom and when I ordered for myself she asked me if I was sure thats what I wanted because it was a lot of calories and she told me if I got any fatter you wouldn't stick around"You told him, not looking into his eyes anymore as you whispered the ended, not wanting to say it yourself.

"Excuse me?" He asked, anger breaking out all over his face.

"She said what?!" He hissed. He brought his fingers to your chin, making your head tilt up and your eyes connect with his.

"Y/n, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my whole life. I thought that from the moment you walked into the Bakery that day and Ive thought it everyday since. If you lose fifty pounds or gain fifty pounds you will still be the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. Please don't listen to a stupid girl like her. I love you so much babygirl and nothing you could ever say or do would make me leave you, even more so over something silly like weight. I love you for you, not what you look like.”

Jack Avery- You sat on the couch in the living room of the Why Don't we house, looking through the comments of the most recent post Jack had posted of the two of you. Hating yourself more as you continued.

You had always been skinny, skinnier than most. When you were 13 you were diagnosed with an over working thyroid, which meant it burned off an extreme amount of calories causing not a lot of fats to stay in your body. It was something you were extremely self conscious about, you felt like everyone judged you as soon as they saw you and being in a bathing suit was something you had absolutely hated, and of course that was what you were wearing in the photo. Daniel had taken the photo of the two of you when you, the boys and a few of their girlfriends had a pool party. From the moment Jack saw it he fell in love with it, the way the two of you were looking at each other seemed to capture the love you two shared, but what you and everyone seemed to see was how Skinny you were.

Wdwfanforever Does she even eat?

Seaveymydaniel her legs or a stick? 99% Of americans can't tell the difference

Jackypooavery Someone get this girl a burger

And that was just the start of them, there were hundreds of them, basically all saying the same thing. On some level you had always hoped people wouldn't notice, that it was just a you thing but after today you knew it wasn't

"Hey baby whats up?" Jack asked, smiling at you as he walked in. You quickly shut your phone off and sat up to meet his eyes.

"Nothing really, just trying to figure out what show to watch on netlfix. I was texting Adi for some advice" You lied, giving jack a fake smile. The only other time you had gotten hate was when you two had first went public with your relationship and Jack was absolutely furious.

"Jack have you seen all the comments on your post?" Daniel frowned coming into the living room with his phone in his hand. While Jack looked to Daniel you shook your head fast, hoping he would get the hint and drop it, but Jack looked back at you before you could stop and scrunched his eyebrows together looking back and fourth between the two of you.

He pulled out his phone when you stopped him, taking his hands and phone in yours before making eye contact with him.

"Jack, really its nothing. Please just let it go and don't get angry" You pleaded, but then Daniel opened his mouth.

"Its not nothing Y/n!" He said, Daniel had been your best friend growing up, him being the one who introduced the two of you and he had always been protective of you.

"Daniel please!" You yelled standing up, looking at him somewhat angrily in his eyes.

"Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on!" Jack said, now leaving his spot from the couch and standing up as well.

Daniel handed Jack his phone, of course already on the post with the comments on his screen.

Jack sat back down has his face fell, reading comment after comment.

"Could you give us a second?" He asked, talking to Daniel but not lifting his eyes up from the phone, not stopping reading more and more comments. Daniel didn't say anything, he just nodded and walked out of the room. He shut the phone off and threw it on the couch, sticking his hand up, reaching for yours. Once yours and Jacks hands connected he gently pulled you to him and sat you on his lap.

Jacks hands cupped your cheeks before his eyes locked with yours.

"When I first met you I knew I was falling in love with you when I saw you having that eating competition with Jonah, and the best part was you won" He started causing you to giggle but your eyes never unlocking with his.

"I know we never talk about how self conscious you are, I catch you looking at your body in the mirror after a shower or the way you feel uncomfortable when you aren't wearing a hoodie. I never bring it up because I never want to upset you, but so many times have I been sitting and watching you while you laugh or when you break out into those terrible dance moves of yours when one of our songs play and overtime all I can think about is how fucking beautiful you are. Y/n, you are the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen, everyday you take my breath away and weather you are 100 pounds or 200 pounds my opinion on you will never change" Once he finished you had tears threatening to fall, god you loved this boy.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, placing with the hair that laid around the base before putting your forehead on his.

"I love you so much Jack Avery"

Jonan Marias- "You aren't fat per say, you're just a plus size model" Your friend told you as you took a bite from your chicken wrap as the two of you were at lunch. You instantly stopped eating your food and put it back down on the plate your face dropping completely as you pushed the food away from you, no longer hungry.

"Excuse me?" a guy asked, raged filling his whole voice, looking between you're friend and you. You had no idea who he was, but he was hands down the most beautiful human you had ever seen in your life. He was tall and had brown hair, with the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen.

"What?" Your friend snapped, obviously not liking the tone he was using. The boy looked at her in disgust while you just sat there watching.

"Why would you say something like that?" He asked, you had no idea why a stranger would get so angry over a comment like this, your 'friend' said stuff like this to you all the time and even though you tried to get use to it, it still hurt a little.

"Well its the truth" She said, rolling her eyes as she took another bite of her salad.

"The truth? The truth is she is one of the most beautiful girls Ive ever seen. The truth is that when I walked through the door my heart started beating a little faster once I saw her. The truth is that she deserves a hell of a lot better friends than you" He snapped, causing a blush to break out on your face as the two of you locked eyes, he winked at you before turning his attention back to the bitch eating in front of you.

"I think Im gonna go, Call me next week" She snapped, picking up her bag and rolling her eyes.

"Yeah she won't be doing that. I hope you step in dog shit" He called just before she walked out the door causing you to explode into a fit of giggles.

"Now, Im Jonah and Id like to buy you coffee" He said, taking a seat where your friend had once sat.

"Im y/n" You smiled, looking into his eyes once again.

Zach Herron- The boys had gotten a brand deal with Adidas, they had pictures of a group and then each boys had pictures with a different girl, and of course you couldn't help but stair at Zachs picture. Although you knew it was a photo shoot you couldn't help but feel a pang in your chest, the way he was holding her skinny body, the way their faces were lit up with happiness, it hurt you. You always felt like Zach could do better, he could go out and find someone prettier, skinner, someone who would look better with him, but he chose you and everyday you wondered why more and more than the last.

"Whats wrong?" Jonah asked, walking outside to the patio where you sat, you hadn't realized the frown that was forming on your face until you looked up to see Jonah with a worried expression on his face. Since you had moved into the Why don't we house Jonah had become like an older brother to you, he cared about you the way a brother would and even Zach had to admit that the two of you had adorable brother/sister moments that the fans just loved.

He sat on the end of the lounge as you brought your feet up to your chest. You handed him your phone, his face filling with confusion.

"Why are you looking at this?" He questioned, feeling like he knew the answer already.

"Because look at her, he could do so much better than me. She's so much prettier than me, she's skinner and her smile looks amazing. The way they look at each other makes me realize that maybe Im not what Zach wants anymore, not when he knows he could have someone like her" You told Jonah.

"Y/n.." Zach said from behind you, causing you to jump. Your face went pale, not wanting him to hear the words that had left your mouth.

"Im gonna go" Jonah trailed off, putting your phone beside your feet and running inside, knowing that the two of you had a lot to talk about now.

Zach took Jonah's spot at the end of your feet, taking one of your hands in his.

"She will never be better than you, no one ever will be. No one else's eyes will sparkle like Diamonds in the sun, at least not like yours does. No ones laugh with make my heart melt completely overtime, not like yours does. No one will make me want to get out of bed everyday and make amazing things happen, not like you do. No one will make me fall in love all over again just by one simple kiss, not the way you do. You are one of a kind, you are it for me. Y/n your body is perfect to me, I love the way it fits in mine at night, I love the way your thighs touch and all your curves that seem to be placed in every right way. You are so fucking beautiful to me. All those girls you say I could get, I don't even notice them. Why would I when I already have my everything right in front of me?"

"I love you so much Zach Herron" You whispered before bringing his face close to yours, pressing your lips on his soft pink ones.

Corbyn Besson- Corbyn and the boys were having a pool party, at first you were a little excited. Although the idea of you in a bathing suit was something you weren't a fan of it was fine because you were comfortable with the boys and you knew that you wouldn't be judged. But your attitude changed quickly when Corbyn had told you that it was going to become more of a party as there were more people coming over. 'Great' You thought to yourself.

At first you had told corybn that you weren't going to come anymore, telling him that you weren't really a party person and He knew that a lot of people in the same space caused you anxiety but he had promised to stay right by your side the whole night and that you two would leave if it all got too over whelming for you. With his puppy dog face and his "Please baby's" You couldn't say no to the boy you were helplessly in love with so you said yes.

You were now at the party, in a bathing suit and feeling extremely uncomfortable, you stood outside by the pool, having a conversation with Jacks girlfriend who you were extremely close too and Corbyn.

"Im gonna go get us a drink okay? Ill be right back" He smiled, kissing your cheek and leaving. You had continued the conversation with Jacks girlfriend until a guy walked up to you, right away you could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Hey beautiful, why don't we go check out the rooms upstairs" He winked, the idea of throwing up had never sounded like a better idea.

"Um, I don't think her boyfriend would like that very much" Corbyn said coming back with two drinks in his hand, you looked him in the eyes, slightly thanking him for saving you.

"Eh its whatever. She's fat anyways" He chuckled, Cobyn put the drinks down and walked over to him.

"You might want to shut the fuck up" Corbyn snapped, his face red with anger.

"Oh yeah, and what are you gonna do if I don't?" The drunk man asked, stepping closer to Corbyn, who was now only inches apart from him. Corbyn brought his hand back, ready to punch the man when you grabbed it quickly and pulled him back. His eyes met yours and his face softened when he saw the tears threatening to fall.

"Its not worth it, please walk away" You told him, your voice breaking at the end. Jonah and the rest of the boys had heard what happen from Jacks girlfriend and all had rushed outside to see the scene that had just unfolded in front of you.

"Im gonna go get changed" You whispered, his eyes scanning yours before you let go of him and walked into the crowed house and up the stairs to Corbyns room where your overnight bag sat int the corner.

Once you had changed you decided to stay upstairs, not wanting any more social interaction for today, you had simply had enough. You were reading a book on your phone when the door opened and a still upset looking corbyn came walking in to see next to you.

"What he said wasn't true"He said, slightly gripping your chin and brought your face up to eye level.

"You are beautiful, inside and out. I love you y/n" He told you before bringing you into a kiss. He didn't need to give you some huge speech, the way he kissed you made you feel beautiful and honestly that was all you needed.

Maybe that guy didn't get to check out the rooms upstairs, but you and Corbyn did that night;).

_____

If you couldn't tell this imagine was about you struggling with your body. I wrote this because I know many people do, weather it be because you feel to big or too small. I personally struggle with body image issues and I know how it can effect people.

Im hoping that this made some of you feel better if you struggle with the same thing. But I just want you all to know that you are all extremely beautiful people!

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