#so it is very funny to see the whiplash I had between these two projects lmao

[a2zillustration-archive]

* ~ March Baking Journey ~ *

Really Big Zebra Cake (Vanilla Cake with Zebra Cake Accoutrements) - 2.5/5

Hey friends

when will I learn not to mix and match recipes LOL

Y’all. I was so excited for this. I wanted this to work so bad. But I have once again played myself in trying to combine multiple recipes. And also having no idea how food works.

The vanilla cake is very good, it’s not too sweet and it almost has a pound cake texture, it’s very dense. Which means it didn’t really fit with the vibe of store-bought lil debra zebra cakes. The marshmallow buttercream is also good and I think this whole thing would’ve been better frosted in that. But.

In my desire to make a cake that actually looked good, I coated a relatively soft and delicate cake with .25″ of white chocolate coating which meant the minute I tried to cut into this thing, the force needed to break the chocolate absolutely obliterated the cake underneath. Maybe I should’ve added more shortening to the coating, I don’t know, I’m not sure if that would’ve made it less dense and difficult to cut. All I know is that this cake looked good up until I wanted to eat it.

Notes for next time: don’t do this and use a frosting recipe from the vanilla cake blog instead

-------------------

Baked Donuts with Pink Vanilla Glaze - 4/5

I had a craving specifically for pink-frosted sprinkle donuts and I bought a donut pan not too long ago, so I made the first cake donut recipe I found online and it was pretty good! The flavors are pretty basic but they’re super cute and they make me happy.

Recipe notes: use slightly less flour than the recipe calls for but keep a 1:1 substitute for the cinnamon in place of nutmeg; also, the pink was ~3:1 red-blue food coloring

[creptolli]

Distance

Gaz x Reader oneshot with a GN!Reader :3

Word Count: 989 Words.

Warnings: None!! Just fluff :DD

Messaging your boyfriend felt like the only way you two communicated lately, only ever getting to see half photos of him before he has to put his phone down and continue his day like you don't exist. Sometimes, just sometimes, it makes you feel like shit. Not bullshit, but dogshit at the least. 

You are well aware that it is far from his choice, which makes you feel even worse. It's not like you can tell him, he can't do anything about it. So instead, you put up with it. Like always.

This entire thought process is swiftly cut off by ringing. You let out a sigh of relief to distinctly see the name 'LOML <333'.

"Love! Look!" Kyle cheerily whisper-yelled at his brightly lit phone illuminating the mildly dark room he was sat in, flipping it to reveal a very neatly presented barrack. "It took me so bloody long, but I finally got it perfectly cleaned up." He said exasperated, clearly proud of his work. You couldn't help but chuckle at his adorable behaviour, gladly assuring him that he did a good job. "You do realise you're going to mess that very tightly done bed up when you sleep in like, what, twenty minutes?" You said playfully.

"..." Radio silence. 

"Okay so while you're technically right-" He began rambling, only causing you to laugh once again. Despite the distance and blank spots between talking, sometimes going even weeks without seeing anything from each other, it was worth it. For this, for him, it was worth it.

After noticing a good thirty, maybe forty seconds of silence on his end, you spoke up. "You okay-?" Before being quickly cut off by a yell and a blurred screen. You could barely see or hear what was happening, just the occasional inaudible "Oi give it back-!"  that you could obviously tell was your beloved boyfriends voice. "Kyle.. You good..?" You trailed, doubting he would hear. It was only when a new face - well, somewhat familiar face - popped onto the still mostly blurred screen bobbing up and down that you fully grasped what was happening.

"Hi?" You awkwardly asked the man who you could barely recognise to be Johnny with a smile. Kyle had mentioned him before as well as a small image from a distance that he clearly sniped. "Oh hello! You look good, you 'is partner?" The harshly Scottish man asked while slightly out of breath, undoubtedly running from your boyfriend. "Yeah, he didn't mention you were Scottish." You said with a chuckle, experiencing what you can only imagine to be whiplash from the sudden accent shock. "Oh so 'e mentioned me?" Probably not what you meant for him to focus on in that sentence, but it was funny nonetheless. "Once or, well once." You filled the sound of his hard breathing and footsteps with mindless babbles, introducing yourself as you could see his eyes dart behind and in front of him.

"OH SHITE-" You hear him yell as he crashes into something, or someone. From your end, it was hilarious. From his, probably not so much. 

"Finally caught you, you bloody weasel." You recognise Kyle say to him as he attempts to snatch the phone back. Which is only prevented by someone else - the person Johnny crashed into - picking up the phone instead.

"What the fuck - who the fuck is this?" You hear a deep English accent ask as he moves his eyes from you to the men in front of him. At this point, your camera was angled to the roof, feeling the need to hide yourself away from this part of the conversation. Yet your curiosity and need for drama kept you closely listening.

"It's nobody, give me my phone back Simon-" Kyle pleaded, reaching for his phone as you now saw the man, Simon. He wore a black balaclava with a skull mask on it, which only made you wonder if he always wore it. Obviously it was late at night in the barracks, was he just... always wearing it? Kyle hadn't mentioned him before, so your interest was piqued. 

"It's 'is partner~" You heard Johnny tease in a sing-songy tone before getting slapped on the back of the head by Kyle. "Jesus, you just gotta let everyone know?" He said, evidently annoyed by the invasion of privacy. You found it funny, but you probably weren't going to let your boyfriend know that until later.

"So this is what all that bloody commotion was about?" Simon asked referring to the running all across the barracks, sounding somewhat frustrated. "Um. Maybe." Kyle awkwardly answered, glaring down at Johnny. "Be quieter next time, Jesus." Simon muttered with a disapproving tone. "Sorry L.T." Johnny said reaching back up for the phone, which was quickly recoiled back. "Uh uh, this is mine now. Someone's gotta teach ya to be bloody quiet, it's like fuckin' 10:30PM." Simon scolded, your face partially being visible on the screen held above his head. "Wha', got a bed time L.T?" Johnny mockingly asked, only to be responded with a pestering reminder of the training they have to start tomorrow.

"That's unfair, I didn't choose for my bloody phone to be stolen!" Kyle protested, gesturing to Johnny who was brushing himself off after the tumble he took. "Oi, no' my fault. I' was so easy, you were practically askin' for it!" Johnny said, chuckling as he saw half of your face curiously stalking the conversation safely from your room back home. "Aight, enough bickering you dumbasses. See you in the mornin'" Simon said as he walked off from the two whisper arguing.

"Night love!" Kyle called out in a hushed shout as he slapped Johnny on the back of the head, annoyed by the whole fiasco. 

Just as speedily as the call began, it ended. The large man - Simon - hung it up the moment he made space between your boyfriend and him.

Hm. That was... normal..

[twig-in-a-wizard-hat]

ya know what making my first post post cuz sick of my phone crashing :C , it killed my tags, it did. funny commentary gone, it is. also worried there is a char limit for tags overall and maybe that killed them :c , I’ll have to look that up later I want my old thoughts to exist into the world (hello void/world, and probably OP who is reading this)

cannot totally recreate vibe, so just shooting them out there, sorry for any whiplash or spelling errors

can’t remember most of what I said about Lilly (rip), but although her death would be totally deserved, my love for her definitely absolves her of all of her crimes against humanity.

also very exited to see oliver shared between Lex and Fitz :DDD , he does not stand a chance between themmm. He will prob turn to puddyyyyy, and I would like to watchhhh. Also, wonder what Roger is like when enthralled by the two. Mainly cuz he gives off very diff vibes from oliver. Roger gives off tired old man (prob from his full time “job” of taking care of Fitz, dudes prob aged a few years from that, and see some things). Oliver on the other hand gives off kitten x sacrificial lamb. but I could be projecting.

Also, not killing Edith!!! DDDD: the thralls would dieeeeeeee. Like I do not trust Jessica one second to provide healthcare to her thralls. I feel she would cringfail on a minor cold. She gives off immediately calls for a doctor (cuz ew she doesn’t wanna deal with that, fix it) vibes or waits till their practically on death’s door (cuz she had more important things to do, like looking pretty, or throwing parties). Also Idk how in Character it is, but I think it’d be funny if she might attempt some basic care, like wet towel on their head, but forget even more basic stuff like giving the poor thing water, and then get upset when that didn’t improve the thrall’s condition or make it worse, then throws a small tantrum and then leaves them. She does not have the attention span or empathy to figure out proper human care.

can’t remember if there was anything else…. Did add to it tho (like Jessica attempting below bare minimum to take care aid a thrall and giving up after a whole five sec of that now working)

(Welp, goodbye, idk how to end posts, would I just have ended it there? Idk. Thanks for reading :D

goodbye again)

Sike the post is not over I was re-reading in editing (coming after u spelling errors, except puddy idk how that’s spelt and I’m too scared to find out) and realized bit about wanting Vivian to save killing vamps like Lex and Fitz to later (much later) cuz perhaps if she kills enough of the vamps that treat their thralls poorly she can change the culture of the vamps in the area :D , so even if she fails (at killing all of them) at least quality of thrall life could go up, and that’s at least a little win for humanity. (Also now thinking it’d be really funny for Lex to lord over Jamison how he could be the next target cuz he treats his thralls so bad lol.)

wonder how long till vamp society starts sweating over Vivian’s kill count. I doubt Edgar’s absence would be totally missed (although some *cough Lex and Fitz cough* might be a little happy at the news, till it sinks in a powerful vamp like him was slain)

ok now I think that’s it fr. Goodbye Fr.

The Rare Bookseller Part 62: Vivian's Blood

Previous > Masterlist

tw: conditioning, mind control, mention of hand whump, mention of blood related ritual

October 1925

As Jenny slowly awoke, there was a strange warmth on her face, and something unusually soft underneath her. She luxuriated in it for a moment, comfortable and sleepy, before bolting upright as though she'd been pulled by a string.

Her master! What time was it? She was awake, and she couldn't remember what tasks she was meant to be performing, and she'd probably overslept. She could practically feel the sting of her master's crop.

It took a few moments for her to return to her senses and realize that she was not in her master's manor. She was in a small room, sparsely furnished, and the warmth on her face was the sun streaming in. It had been so long since she'd seen the sun that she couldn't help pressing herself against the window. The view wasn't much, just a dingy alley and a brick building next door, but the small glimpse of blue sky was enough for her.

She was out. She was free. Her master was dead.

Exhilaration churned with dread in her stomach. She'd spent so long under his spell, conditioned to obey and serve, that she couldn't help but feel empty without his presence. As much as she'd longed for her freedom, now that she had it, she couldn't help the smallest twinge of regret. The manor had been a prison, but she'd always been told exactly what to do and what to think, and there was a kind of comfort in that. There was comfort in having a purpose, even if that purpose was serving a vampire.

What would she do now? What did she even want to do? She'd long since smothered any dream more ambitious than seeing the sun again. Worry and doubt filled her mind, and she wished she could just go back to sleep… sleep… and obey… sleep… and obey…

She was woken again by a knock on the door. "Good evening, Jenny. May I come in?"

Jenny was on the floor, kneeling for an imaginary master who would never return, and judging by how sore her knees were, she'd been there for a while. The light through the window was now the long-forgotten orange of a sunset. Embarrassed, Jenny scrambled back up to sit on the bed. She was still wearing her clothes from yesterday, but that would have to do. "You can come in!"

Vivian entered. "How are you doing?"

"I'm well," she said, not wanting to cause any trouble for her savior.

"It's all right if it's hard on you. It's hard on most thralls, to bring their minds back from years of enthrallment." She sat on a wooden chair next to the window. "I thought you might like some breakfast, if you want to come to the kitchen. I'll show you the bathroom and give you a clean set of clothes, too."

"That's very kind of you, miss," said Jenny, only growing more uneasy. Kindness always came with a price, but she didn't have a choice but to rely on the vampire hunter's charity for now. She meekly followed Vivian to the kitchen, where a large pot of porridge was steaming on the stove. Her mouth watered.

"I hope porridge and milk is okay. It will be easy on your stomach," said Vivian. "I woke you in the afternoon so you can start adjusting to a daytime schedule again."

Jenny stared down at the food. In the rare moments when she got to imagine being free, she always pictured it as somehow triumphant -- running through a sunny field, carefree. But it wasn't like that at all. Everything felt wrong, wrong, wrong, her conditioning still clawing her mind back to the place she had escaped from. It felt wrong to eat fresh food at the table, wrong to not have anyone to serve, wrong even to be awake for so long.

"You don't have to serve me," said Vivian, gently. "It's all right."

Jenny blinked, and realized that she was kneeling at Vivian's feet, somehow. A hazy memory bubbled up in her mind of when she had first been conditioned to serve her master, how she would be aware one moment and groveling at his feet the next, his glinting pocketwatch heavy in her mind. A memory tinged with her shame and despair at her inability to resist his hypnosis.

Another blink, and she was sitting at the table again, spoon in her hand and the porridge half gone. She must have eaten her breakfast while entranced.

"Feeling better?" asked Vivian.

Jenny's face burned. Being asleep and entranced would almost be preferable to the humiliation of fading in and out. "I'm sorry," she said, choking back tears. "It's my master's spell. He enthralled me to remain asleep… well, not asleep exactly, although that's what he called it. I'd be under his spell and have to do the… do the chores… while my mind…" Her vision was blurring, her thoughts evaporating, even as she tried to explain.

"Hey, stay with me." Vivian snapped in front of her face, startling Jenny back into wakefulness. "That sort of trance is common for thralls."

"Common for thralls…" Jenny repeated numbly. It was one thing when she'd been trapped in her master's manor for years, surrounded only by other thralls. There was no point to having shame in her condition, because there was no one else to see it. Now, returning to the world of humans, that shame burned inside her, mixing with her worries.

"I need to ask…" Jenny wrung her hands in her skirt. "What is going to happen to me now? I… I don't have anywhere to go home to… I used to work in a lace factory, but I can't work there any more if I'm… like this…" She could just picture the scolding she would get if she dared to nod off at work, not to mention the danger of slipping into a trance when she was operating one of the huge machines. She'd seen a girl get her fingers ripped off, a sight that not even a vampire's thrall could ever erase from her memory.

"It's all going to be okay!" said Vivian in a tone that made Jenny doubt she really grasped the gravity of the situation. "You can stay here while you're recovering. The enthrallment will fade in time, and I have a way to help you with it."

"But I can't pay you back for your hospitality --"

"Don't even worry about it. Do you remember those trinkets I liberated from your master's bedroom? I sell the treasures I take from vampires to support thralls who need it. Don't you think you deserve to use his money to support yourself?"

The conditioned part of her wanted to protest that her master had given her food and shelter and purpose, and that was enough. The rest of her, though, was nodding along with Vivian's reasoning. After all, she'd worked hard for Lord Edgar for years without getting paid a wage, and her living conditions had been meager. She did deserve some of his money.

"The hunters' guild visited your old manor today to collect the remaining thralls and start sorting things out."

"The remaining thralls? Are they all okay?"

"They were fine, from what I've heard, and I'm sure they'll be taken care of. What's more, the guild is going to start liquidating the vampire's possessions. The money will be split between me, guild upkeep, and the thralls. You should expect a decent windfall - at least a few thousand dollars."

"A few thousand?" said Jenny, astonished. That was far more money than she'd ever had in her life, more than she'd ever dreamed of. That was enough money to go to school and get an education for a better job. That was enough that she wouldn't need to share a room with three other women, one that was always frigidly cold in winter and filled with insects in summer. That was enough for a new coat and shoes, good ones that didn't require constant mending.

"I thought that would cheer you up," said Vivian.

"That's… that's wonderful. I can't even imagine what I'll do with all of that money, besides go back to school," said Jenny. Of course, her mental condition would be a problem at school, too. Even now, she could hear the whisper in her mind telling her that thralls didn't need to think, just obey --

"Jenny." Vivian was shaking her by the shoulder. "Jenny, wake up."

"I'm so sorry!" she said, coming to.

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

She simply couldn't keep blanking out like this, couldn't keep falling back into a pointless need to serve a master who was now dead. "You said you might be able to help with the enthrallment?"

Vivian nodded. "There's something I can do for you, but the technique absolutely must remain secret, and it's a bit -- Tell you what, I'll show you after I take Bobby his breakfast. You can come with me and meet Bobby if you'd like. He's another former thrall, but one less fortunate than you."

As much as she was interested in meeting another former thrall, one who might understand her troubles, Jenny couldn't help but be nervous about what would count as less fortunate than her. "Sure, I'd like to meet Bobby."

Vivian scooped a bowl of porridge from the pot on the stove and swept down the same hallway where Jenny's room was, this time entering a door on the left. The room was small and furnished only with a bed and chest of drawers, but it was neatly kept. On the bed, there was a sleeping man mostly covered in a thick blanket. Vivian shook him gently. "It's time to eat, Bobby."

Bobby sat up with an unnaturally stiff motion. His vacant eyes didn't seem to react to Vivian or Jenny, instead fixed on a spot on the blank wall. Vivian held the bowl of porridge in front of him with one hand and a spoon with her other hand, and Jenny was surprised when he took them both and began to eat. He ate quickly and rhythmically, looking as though he didn't taste or even know what he was eating.

"Bobby, this is Jenny," said Vivian, motioning towards an uneasy Jenny. "She used to be a thrall, just like you. Do you want to say hello?"

He looked up at her -- or really, through her. "Hello, Jenny," he said in a dull voice.

"Hello, Bobby. It's nice to meet you."

So this was what Vivian had meant by less fortunate. He didn't even seem to know what was happening around him. Could this have been her fate, if she had been purchased by a different vampire? Was Lord Edgar somehow a mercy?

Bobby finished his porridge and cleared his throat. "What are my tasks today, sir?" he said to Vivian, handing the bowl back.

"You can sweep the floors and clean the kitchen if you please, but you're not required to do any tasks at all, remember?"

"Yes, sir." He swung his legs over the bed and walked out of the room with that strange, stiff gait.

"You must think it's awful that I'm making Bobby do chores," said Vivian, once he'd left the room. "Because of the way he was conditioned, he gets dreadfully upset if he doesn't have any tasks for the day. It's been the only way to keep him calm."

"I can understand." Jenny also felt an aching void, a lack of purpose, one that used to be filled with the chores Lord Edgar always had her do. Even knowing her master was dead, even seeing his now-lifeless corpse disintegrating on the floor, she was still so nervous that she wasn't serving a vampire. A superior being… one of her betters…

She managed to shake off the daze before it took her again. "If it isn't rude to ask… what happened to Bobby?"

"He was erased," said Vivian. "It's a process the vampires use to remove a human's free will, memories, personality… everything they are. It turns them into a shell of their former self. It's almost impossible to fully recover from, even with my techniques, and even if he did, he'd never be the same."

"That's horrible…"

"It's done at auction houses. Did you come from an auction house?"

Foggy memories of prison cells surfaced in her mind. "Yes." She hoped Vivian wouldn't ask her how she'd ended up there. How she'd practically volunteered herself like a damned fool, believing a vampire's lies about a better life. She'd already paid the price for her foolishness many times over.

"Do you remember anything about how you were enthralled there?"

"I'm not sure…" Many of her memories of her time in vampires' captivity were vague and muddled, since she'd spent so much of it in a deep hypnotic trance. "I remember a big chair. I was trying to fight it, I think, but the vampires were so much stronger than I was. They strapped me in, and one of the vampires started to hypnotize me. She did something that made me so sleepy that I just couldn't stay awake… and after that, I had to obey anything they told me."

"That sounds like a typical experience. Do you know who it was who enthralled you?"

Jenny could just picture the blurry outline of that vampire, the way she'd looked through unfocused, half-closed eyes. Her memory was mostly of that beautiful voice, how lovely she'd felt, better than she ever had before or since. "She was small, I think. Smaller even than me. She really didn't look like a vampire at all -- or at least how I would have imagined a vampire to look."

"That would be Lily."

"Miss Lily! Yes, that's who it was. You know her?"

"Oh, she's a notorious vampire. She seems to be in charge of hypnotizing humans at the local auction house. So many of the thralls remember her that we know quite a bit about her, including where she probably lives -- but every hunter who has gone to try and kill her has ended up a thrall. Now none of them will go near her."

Miss Lily had looked like any ordinary woman you might pass on the street. It was terrifying to think of vampires like that walking among ordinary people at night, stealing them away and erasing their minds. "Are there many powerful vampires like her?"

"Unfortunately, yes. This city is overrun with vampires who seem to think they're untouchable, like Lily and your former master. I'm always searching for new leads on the most troublesome bloodsuckers. Maybe you've heard of some of them… have you heard of a Lady Martha? A Lord Jonathan, perhaps? Lady Jessica? Mistress Lotus?"

She shook her head. The names she'd heard and the vampires she'd met were all swirled together in Jenny's mind. Lord Edgar had taken her to a number of social events, but she'd spent them all in a daze, dressed in a ballgown worth more than her and kneeling at Lord Edgar's feet while he chatted and laughed.

"Dr. Edith?"

"Dr. Edith! I do remember her!" Jenny felt triumphant at having remembered at least one bit of knowledge. "Once, I had a terrible case of flu. I was so ill that I fully expected I'd die right there, in a bed in my master's manor. He called for Dr. Edith to help me," she explained. "She brought me medicine and soup to drink, and cool cloths to soothe my fever. She was very nice, not at all like some of the other vampires."

"Edith is an old vampire, a doctor they bring in to help keep their thralls alive. A lot of thralls have stories like yours."

Jenny realized what her knowledge was going to be used for. "You're not going to kill her, are you?"

"She's a vampire."

"But she helped me…"

"She also keeps at least one human enslaved for her blood, probably more," said Vivian. "I don't doubt that some vampires are kinder or more reasonable than others. I've seen myself the differences in the ways they treat thralls. But all of them, even the most kind and reasonable vampires, capture humans to feed on their blood. They all need to die."

"I guess you're right…" Jenny swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't entirely comfortable with the thought of Vivian slaughtering that kind old woman who'd brought her soup when she was so desperately ill. "Are there a lot of hunters?" she said, hoping to change the subject.

"No, there aren't. That's one of the reasons why the city is so overrun," she said. "Twenty years ago, everyone in the hunters' guild was killed by a legendary vampire in a failed raid of his manor. Since then, the guild's had barely a handful of qualified hunters, and the bloodsuckers practically have free reign of the city."

"That's dreadful… The vampire who killed all of those hunters, is he still…?"

"He's certainly still out there. No hunter has attempted to kill him since, for obvious reasons. We don't even know where his manor is, since all hunters with that knowledge died, and none of the thralls we've rescued know more than a scrap of information about him." Vivian restlessly balanced her chair on two legs. "You haven't happened to have heard of the Maestro, have you?"

"No, I haven't."

"It's not surprising. We only just recently got a lead on him, the first in years. A famous ballerina was kidnapped, and one of the perpetrators matches his description. It fits what we believe to be his motives, too. But actually tracking down a vampire like that? No one's done it."

"Are you going to try and kill him yourself?" said Jenny anxiously.

"If I can find him."

"You aren't scared?"

"I'd be an idiot if I wasn't scared. But with my magic, I can defy his powers, and I might be able to succeed where the other hunters failed." She looked so determined that Jenny couldn't doubt her. "A vampire like that can't just be left to roam free and kidnap whoever he wants forever and ever. Someone has to kill him. But I don't have enough information, so I'm hunting down other vampires for now."

"…I see," said Jenny. "What about Miss Lily, then? You said you know where she lives, right?"

Vivian's bravado noticeably faded. "I suppose I should go after Lily. But I'd really prefer not to."

"I can understand that… but she does seem a lot less frightening than that other vampire would be. Don't you think so?"

The only sound in the room was the squeak of chair legs as Vivian fidgeted. "…The Maestro killed all of the hunters, that's true," she said, finally. "But Lily has turned at least a dozen hunters into helpless, mindless thralls. I'd much rather die than be a thrall."

"Oh…" So that was how she must look to Vivian, someone who suffered a fate so shameful that Vivian would rather die.

It wasn't as though she didn't understand. There were times in Lord Edgar's service when she'd woken up enough to understand that years of her life were slipping away, and sometimes she thought that she'd rather be dead.

But she hadn't really meant it. After all, she'd thought she'd never again see sunshine, and yet today she'd woken up to blue skies out of her window.

Even with everything that had happened, she was still glad to be alive.

"I have another reason, as well," Vivian said, breaking into Jenny's thoughts. "My mother was a vampire hunter, and a damn good one. And that night, the night of the failed raid, she never came home." Vivian's hands clenched at her pants. "I have to kill the Maestro, no matter what. If I don't do it, I don't think anyone else will."

"I'm sorry about your mother," said Jenny, uncertain what to say.

"It was a long time ago," said Vivian, although there were tears in her eyes. "I've spent all this time learning to be a great vampire hunter, to resist their tricks and their enthrallment… which reminds me. I was going to help you clear the enthrallment from your mind."

"Oh, yes, please."

"Follow me upstairs."

Jenny followed Vivian up a rickety and dark spiral staircase, where every step was a different height and the boards creaked. They reached a cramped space, dimly lit with the last of the day's sunlight, with thick cobwebs in the ceiling and dust on the floor. There were books and candles and other strange objects strewn about, and in the center of the floor, a large white symbol was painted. It was a circular kind of seal with words written in a language Jenny had never seen, and it was splattered in many places with what looked like dried blood.

"It's a ritual circle," Vivian explained. "It's a way to remove a vampire's influence from a thrall. I'm still refining it, so it isn't perfect, but I think it will help you."

Jenny's mouth was dry, making it hard to get the words out. "Is that… is that blood on the floor?"

"Oh! That. No need to worry, it's only my own blood."

Previous > Masterlist

It's good to have lofty goals.

Next week, Oliver is shared by his masters.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin

@whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist

@xx-adam-xx @vampiresprite @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10

@sowhumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada

@typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia

@a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

@enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot

@cinnamoncandycanes @avvail-whumps @tauntedoctopuses @secret-vampkissers-soiree @whatamidoingherehelpme

@strawbearydreams @ghost-whump @tippytappytyping @natthebatt @fire-bugg14

@fuckcapitalismasshole @slightlydisturbedbeans @paperprinxe @demetercabingreen-thumb @the-broken-pen

@pokemaniacgemini @jumpywhumpywriter @basica11ywhumped

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 6 - Monaco

Alrighty! Ticking another race off the re-watch list before we go away (and before I completely forget about this re-watch project being a thing).

According to the list I made to keep track of my watch through, this is the third last race I haven’t seen anything from, though Monaco being the procession it normally is most years idk if that’ll mean much. This was the first of Rosberg’s 3 Monaco GP wins, and I think there’s some late race chaos but apart from that I’m going into this completely blind, so let’s jump in!

ngl I go miss the pre-race graphic that had the world map before zooming in on the host race du jour, as I geography nerd I really enjoyed it

Okay, starting grid whiplash:

A Merc front row before it was cool (Rosberg pole, Lewis P2); Seb P3; Jenson P9, Jev P10.

Honestly, not that whiplash inducing, the beloveds have not been screwed over for once

Helmet watch: Lewis’ rainbow helmet visor is still the prettiest thing ever

Also it is so weird seeing all the Merc guys in white overalls, even though we haven’t had the all-black look for that long I’m astounded as to how quickly I’ve gotten used to it dsvhdfvhd

Also also: this race happened in the mist of some classic off-grid drama (Merc had a non-sanctioned tyre test with Pirelli after the Spanish GP, no one was happy about it bc in-season testing was banned at this point in time, mouthing off with and in the press ensued)

Not that has anything to do with the race action, I just find it funny 

[Formation Lap]: All but 4 cars starting on the super softs, though back in 2013 all the cars in the Top 10 had to start the race on the tyres they ran in Q3, unlike the free choice they have now

“I think Raikkonen’s got a great chance of winning this race” Brundle he’s down in 5th find some sense

(the things I endure for this)

[Start/Lap 1]: Juuuuuust about all clean into turn 1, Lewis and Seb were VERY racy

oh maybe not all clean there’s a yellow flag

OH SHIT one of the Caterhams just lost it’s front wing

oh god more McLaren on McLaren violence

[Lap 2]: Seb is still harassing Lewis, brat Seb be bratting

and they’re still at it into the swimming pool

[Lap 3]: Meanwhile Rosberg has a 1.4 second lead

I love how unstressed I am about Lewis v Seb, it’s always so spicy but such good racing

meanwhile Jenson has been complaining about Perez being too aggressive, make of that what you will

and another yellow flag somewhere

[Lap 4]: oh the shot of the cars going through swimming pool is 👌

(I am occasionally a Monaco apologist, it’s v pretty)

[Lap 6]: Okay the race has calmed down 😅

Classic precession time, everyone will be trying to stay close to the car in front in the hope of jumping them at the pit stops

5 and a half seconds covering the top 6, which somewhat proves my point

oh jeez the McLaren violence replay, can we not race each other into the chicanes lads?! 😵‍💫

[Lap 9]: aaaand there’s the second Caterham on fire, right at the pit lane entry too

Caterham’s not good, very bad Monaco GP

oh the smoke is blowing across the track, excellent

man how did F1 manage before the Virtual Safety Car, bc it’s just a yellow flag rn

though maybe I think it should be full SC

there is a very large group of marshals pushing the car back into the pits like 😳

well that was mildly terrifying

[Lap 11]: Jenson potentially chasing down Fernando 🍿

2000s F1 intensifies

[Lap 12]: Di Resta fastest lap????

Okay so bc the Mercs aren’t pulling away from the rest of the field as quickly as everyone expected, it’s apparently forcing the rest of the grid into a one stop bc of how small the gaps are between everyone

(or at least that’s how I’m interpreting what Crofty and Brundle are saying, either I’m dumb or they’re dumb one of the two)

[Lap 16]: Jenson is still reasonably close to Fernando, but maybe not quite close enough to get the pass done on track

[Lap 17]: cut to the Merc garage prepping tyres 👀

[Lap 19]: Livery watch: as much as I am a black Merc stan, the old silver livery does look very pretty in the sunshine 

[Lap 21]: somewhat related it is SO STRANGE being on board with Lewis and not seeing the number 44.

Like 10 is Gasly’s number to me, I am getting whiplash asfuhasufh

(2013 was the last season before drivers got to pick driver numbers, before then car numbers were assigned based on where a team finished in the constructors. For example Merc had 9 and 10 for finishing 5th in 2012)

[Lap 23]: and we have out first proper pitstop folks!! It’s Danny Ric, who swapped his softs for super softs, which doesn’t make much sense

And Bottas pits too

...and he’s still in the pits. I fear the graphic is stuck

[Lap 24]: Yeah I think the graphic is borked Val is still being shown as being in the pits

“target minus 1.6 on your dash” Bono I don’t think Lewis has actual rocket fuel in his car please be serious

[Lap 26]: And Webber pits for softs!

sounds like a pit stop shuffle is incoming since the Mercs were given the hurry up

will they double stack? or will they pit on sequential laps?

Meanwhile Di Resta did a pretty decent pass on Massa into Saint Devote

[Lap 27]: And Raikkonen pits, as does Jenson

Disco music ensues for the pit stop shuffle

And a wild Dan fastest lap just for funsies

[Lap 28]: Still not Merc stops

the hilarity of the entire grid pitting to for Mercedes’ hand and them going ‘lol no we’re better than falling for your mind games’

(Merc have always been the funniest team on the gird)

[Lap 29]: Still no pit stop for the Mercs as Alonso pits

Just Seb and Perez still to pit in the top 10 alongside the Mercs

oh add Sutil and Jev to that list, thank you pit stop graphic

[Lap 30]: ah shit Massa’s car is sideways in the barriers at turn 1, he’s out the car thank goodness

not a very nice crash though

[Lap 31]: Seb pits

and unsurprisingly, Safety Car to clean up Massa’s car

[Lap 32]: And Rosberg finally pits

as does Lewis, the famous Merc double stack will always be famous

But as a result Lewis is behind the two Red Bulls, while Rosberg retains the lead

[Lap 33]: And a wild Daft Punk sighting... because Monaco

Man this race really had been more eventful when Monaco’s usual standards considering it’s bone dry and bright sunshine

“Fourth Monaco Grand Prix in a row to feature the safety car” and absolutely no one is surprised

I am not going to comment on the ‘lapped cars may now overtake graphic’ other than the fact it required a warning.

[Lap 36]: Anyway apparently a seized gearbox caused the fire on Pic’s car, not a fun fact

[Lap 37]: Oh Rosberg’s engineer coming in with some proper tyre stats (60% remaining on the rears and 50 odd on the front, if you’re wondering)

[Lap 38]: and SC in this lap!

we’ll also be getting back under way at half distance

[Lap 39]: green flag! 

oof Rosberg shot off at the restart, that’s already a 9 tenths gap to Seb in P2

Lewis trying to get past Webber

[Lap 40]: and again Lewis having a peek into tabac but nothing comes from it

AHHHH HE TRIES IT INTO RASCASSE

sorry for the caps lock it was either that or me yelling aloud at 11:07pm

[Lap 41]: He didn’t get the move done, but it was v racy

Lewis Hamilton, keeping races entertaining since 2007

Meanwhile Jenson is chasing Fernando who’s chasing Raikkonen

WDC on WDC fisticuffs

and Perez gets past Jenson into the nouvelle chicane!

(entertaining racing??? in Monaco??? I LOVE IT)

[Lap 44]: daaaaamn, Perez is not messing about, he tried a divebomb on Fernando

[Lap 46]: yellow flags again...

oh jeez, Maldonado in the barriers (he’s fine) but the impact pulled the tecpro barriers into the track.

so a red flag

my goodness has this race been eventful 

and cut to all the mechanics and engineers running down the pitlane to get back onto the grid

ohhhhh yeah people can change their tyres on the grid under a red flag. inch resting.

zdvuhdfuvhdf Ted cornering Horner in the pits for a quick quote, I adore his tenacity

so with some very rough maths there’s 33 laps to go, assuming the race ran to full distance, so it would absolutely make sense to change tyres here. 

(look at me trying to be Ted)

Speaking of Ted, he’s playing team boss bingo. He’s added Toto Wolff and Martin Whitmarsh to his red flag interview list.

And in breaking news apparently Alonso has to give Perez P6 for going off track.

And Ted’s now chatting to Claire Williams. Just one more for team boss bingo.

(Also I miss Claire SO MUCH the paddock has way less braincells without her)

[Lap 47]: and looks like the race is getting back underway!

(less red flag chatter bc it’s just hit midnight and I need to get better at timing these re-watches)

Raikkonen & Hulkenberg on the softs, everyone else re-starting back on the supers

And Alonso did give Perez P6 under the SC.

Safety Car pulling in and the camera once again followed it instead of the lead car

[Lap 48]: Anyway, green flag!

thankfully all clear through Sant Devote

Lewis once again resuming to chance down Webber

[Lap 49]: While Alonso is trying to get P6 back from Perez

[Lap 50]: Rosberg already 1.2 seconds ahead of Seb

and DRS re-enabled

Lewis is SO CLOSE to the back of Mark

and he once again tries into Rascasse but nothing comes from it

[Lap 51]: once again the shot of all the cars running through swimming pool is sexy

[Lap 52]: oh damn Raikkonen and Perez fisticuffs now, once again at the nouvelle chicane, both of them went wide

[Lap 55]: Lewis being told to mind to tyres so he has some grip left at the end of the race

[Lap 56]: idk what Rosberg is running on but he’s 2.7 seconds ahead of Seb now

Monaco Man is Monaco Manning

[Lap 57]: Not Sutil going down the inside of Fernando at the hairpin and making it stick 👏

Team Silverstone be Team Silverstoneing 💚

This house will always be pro-midfield

[Lap 60]: not more double yellows at sector one 😭

fellas please I can only take so much

One of the Marussia’s in the barriers :(

(driver’s fine)

[Lap 62]: Gap between Rosberg and Seb now 3.7 seconds

[Lap 63]: Grosjean rear-ending Dan at the Nouvelle chicane and nearly going over the back of the Toro Rosso... CAN WE NOT

SC back out for the carbon fibre confetti

This is turning out to be a poor choice of late night viewing my blood pressure is likely not having a fun time

I swear the only thing missing from this race is rain, and I’m very glad it never happened

[Lap 65]: So we’re past the 2hr mark, but the race is still going somehow

idk my understanding of time limits is very foggy at this point, the incidents combined with it being half past midnight had left my brain mush

oh jeez the bird on the apex of the nouvelle chicane, v pretty slow mo shot of it flying away though

[Lap 66]: SC in at the end of the lap

aka ah shit here we go again

(Raikkonen’s engine is losing water bc it’s too hot so that’s fun)

[Lap 67]: green flag!

and again all clear through turn 1

[Lap 69]: nice

(sorry my filter goes out the wayer after midngith)

ANYWAY Jev is still holding onto P10 🤞

I also forgot to mention is lovely Francois Cevert tribute helmet, you can find the pics in my ‘monaco grand prix 2013′ tag 

but back to racing, the fisticuffs between Raikkonen and Perez got upgraded to violence.

Perez tried it down the inside and got pinched as Raikkonen turned in for the chicane and bits of carbon fibre went flying

[Lap 70]: And Raikkonen has a puncture

[Lap 71]: And Jenson gets past Fernando!!

✨F1 drama✨

oh the replay of Jenson getting past Fernando through Anthony Noghes 👌 

[Lap 73]: the incidents don’t stop coming, Perez just shot over the nouvelle chicane

ah he’s pulling off, might be a brake failure

[Lap 74]: But that promotes Sutil to fifth, Team Silverstone truly living their best lives

[Lap 75]: 4 laps remaining klaxon

and jeez a 4.4 second gap between Rosberg and Seb

well we know which Merc was filled with rocket fuel

[Lap 77]: wild that with all the chaos of the race, Rosberg has still led every lap of the race

big ‘call an ambulance but not for me’ energy

[Lap 78]: Final lap!!

vhfduvhs Seb going 1:16.5 and getting fastest lap

bestie we needed that energy five laps ago

“Sebastian you know the score, don’t take any more risks” Rocky is not amused

[Finish]: and Monaco Man wins the Monaco GP!!

Seb P2, Webber P3, Lewis P4, Sutil P5, Jenson P6, Alonso P7, Jev P8, Di Resta P9 and Raikkonen P10.

Whew, I am Niki Lauda looking around dazed and he is me. That race was EVENTFUL. Like so eventful I’m glad I’m going straight to bed after this. Though in classic Monaco fashion is was more incident central as opposed to lots of racing, but gosh so much happened we really do not have time to unpack all of the that. What a race 😵‍💫

Next up - Canada!

[masterthespianduchovny]

I never wished for Gillian’s relationship to fail, but I was largely indifferent to it and it has nothing to do with Gillovny. Funny enough, I do actively dislike David’s relationship for obvious reasons.

I wasn’t super involved in the tumblr fandom during 2015-2016, but I do remember all of the fuckery that went down with David and gillian. Their behavior was what ignited dormant and new shippers. It added flames for those who never let that flame die.

So, you had all of G and D’s antics and shit, which many were going crazy over. Some notable people as well who have since distanced themselves from that era. Like most people were for this shit because whatever was going on between them was too hard to dismiss as being friendly or professional behavior. Or even harmless flirting.

Now, there are those who always insisted that G and D were acting and putting this show on for the fans. I guess to drive ratings, but this argument has always been nonsensical to me. For starters, people who are interested in Gillovny are going to watch regardless. Almost everyone else don’t give a shit and was going to watch the revival for Mulder and Scully. The things fans went crazy over wasn’t enough to even get anyone interested in the show who wasn’t already interested.

Like, the kimmel interview is mostly only interesting to someone who follows Gillovny or knows of their history. Other people would find their behavior interesting, but would they really make them watch the show??? And it’s barely even a headline.

So, what they were doing back then was enough to get philes excited, but not enough to drive ratings. Which cancels out the idea that they behaved the way they did to garner attention.

But, the naysayers kept insisting that this was all a PR ploy.

After (???) season 10 premiered, Gillian was spotted with Peter I suppose. And she kept being spotted with him. Don’t know the true timeline. But, when this happened, suddenly, these same naysayers were Gorgan. They were all in on Peter and Gillian and throwing shots at Gillovny fans and how we were “played.”

(It must be noted that just because Gillian ended up dating Peter doesn’t mean she didn’t have a thing with David. Lol)

Over time, they were gassing up this relationship and talking about Peter’s greatness and how he and Gillian balanced each other.

For me, my bullshit meter was going on.

Yes, some fans just wanted Gillian to be happy and shit, which I’m all for, but the loud gorgan supporters used this relationship to “get back” at the Gillovny crowd. I honestly don’t know how hostile it became between the two groups, but from what I did see, this support was superficial, which was proven years later.

Because, imo, how can you be for a relationship that just started and you barely know anything about it? How can you know all of this about two people you have no insight on? Gillian keeps her relationships largely private and we know even less about Peter’s relationships (read: marriage), yet there are posts about how these two are a good fit? Lol

What solidified my indifference was Gillian’s behavior. Pre like 2013, Gillian wasn’t really featured in the media all that much because she wasn’t doing any noteworthy projects. Then, she did the fall and was featured more. She was very vocal about being a feminist and shit. “Future is female”, talking about her same sex relationships, didn’t want to be in relationships unless she was in control. Isn’t this the woman who famously ended a relationship by going home and leaving her then boyfriend on the beach to find his way home? Lol.

Gillian’s image was very independent, assertive, I’m the boss, blah blah blah.

Then, she gets with Peter and it’s “he’s responsible for my success.” Peter this, Peter that, blah blah blah blah.

Gillian’s image is now submissive, insecure, handing the reigns over to her man.

That was something that made me look at her differently and not care for her relationship. It felt like whiplash from her previous image.

That image she cultivated with Peter was so contradictory in what she presented herself as while they were together. So, although I still supported her professionally, I just wasn’t here for the relationship.

Ironically enough, Gillian and Peter are the ones who come off as having the PR relationship compared to whatever David and Gillian were doing. Maybe not on the red carpet, but Gillian has (always) been silly and sexual with David. There are x files outtakes that proves this. She jokes/“jokes” with David about wanting to suck his “cock” and David has said shit to her like “did you just cum?” In many of their interviews, Gillian is the the giggly and silly.

Even when Gillian was with Mark and David was still with Tea, that dynamic was there, but a muted. 2015/16 was more pronounced, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. So, the idea that this was PR doesn’t track.

But, Gillian gets with peter and, suddenly, she has a personality change and is singing the praises of her boyfriend who she later works with.

Do I believe this was a PR relationship? Tbh, I don’t give a shit either way. But, PR relationships exist and have always existed in Hollywood. They function many ways: to bring attention to one or both parties, to deflect from (potential) rumors, to build hype for a project, etc.

Peter and Gillian were gassing each other up and shit, selling one another and their relationship. Many famous married couples don’t even talk about their spouses like them (and, yes, I believe these married couples love one another).

The thing about David and Gillian is that, even tho some thought something may have been going on around 2015, some people have always thought they were fucking at one point in time. Others think they just have massive chemistry. But, why would they need to fake a thing between them that they won’t admit to to manufacture interest in the show that people were excited to see come back? It sounds contrived, doesn’t it?

Compare that to: a well loved and acclaimed actress who hasn’t had meaty work in a while getting together with the creator and writer of a show that’s an Emmy darling. They’re always singing each other’s praise, which is noteworthy for a person who doesn’t talk about her relationship much. Who she then later works with on said show.

Which one sounds more like PR?

The actors who’ve had mad chemistry since they’ve auditioned together? Who’s chemistry never wavered even when they couldn’t stand each other and now are in a better place?

Or...

The actress and writer who talk about how wonderful their partner is and that this relationship is so mature, and then later work on his show together before breaking up a month later?

I honestly don’t think it’s absurd to have skepticism towards gorgan. Many of those adamant that gorgan was real and others are delusional are invested in gorgan because their anti Gillovny. And some did truly want to see her happy, but most weren’t invested in that way.

Whether someone thinks gorgan was real or not, I found it embarrassing on Gillian’s part. It’s probably more embarrassing if it was PR and sad if it was real.

And I know ppl will disagree with that because they found the relationship mature and supportive, but again, crediting Peter with the success of her career??? You can’t even argue, “she means now” because Gillian was getting a career resurgence and rave reviews for Stella Gibson and bedelia de murier (???). She had her role in American gods (I know it was one episode).

And in each of these roles, it was “omg! Gillian Anderson!!!”

She was so loved in Hannibal, they fucking expanded her role. And this was all pre Peter (American gods may have had some overlap).

Gillian isnt “struggling” for roles because people don’t want to hire her, she’s “struggling” because she’s trying to find roles that balances being a working actor with being a hands on mom.

And that’s why I was always “meh” about the relationship. I don’t think Peter’s a bad guy and he’s good at his job, but the way Gillian’s persona changed during this relationship was off putting and I didn’t care to get invested in them for that reason. But, as I mentioned on other occasions, the vocal support of the relationship and notable silence when they ended will always be fascinating to me. I honestly believe that gorgan support was fueled by the anti Gillovny crowd and backlash to David’s relationship (its a 🤮 for me too) and behavior towards Gillian regarding the x files’ potential continuance.

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 11: Changing Times

Well, as it turns out, my second Covid vaccine kicked me down hard. After sleeping for quite a long time, though, I’m tired of sleeping and ready to try and get this write-up done.

Surprisingly, or...perhaps not so surprisingly, I don’t think I have that much to say about last night’s episode. I think we’re just too close to the finale for me to feel “safe” in guessing/hoping for anything in particular.

Let’s hit up the plot points like before:

The Triangle

Carson & Faith

Rosemary’s Purpose

School District Problems

Jesse’s Disappearance 

The Triangle

I’m probably one of the few people who liked Nathan who felt like the whole beginning scene was super weird and uncomfortable. Homegirl held his hand for one second in the last episode and now she’s going to warm his serge by the fire (while he just stands there awkwardly??? He could have done that himself while she got him some tea or something idk) and then dress him???

I think we’re meant to see that as her going back to...I don’t know...old habits die hard or something? But she was barely married for any time at all and it’s been three years since Jack died. No way would she be so far into those old habits that she’d fall back into them with Nathan lmao.

Like, it’d be a REALLY GOOD PLOT for a character who had been married for years and lost a spouse (cough Abigail cough) but considering the circumstances it felt like a cheesy fanfiction! I wanted to like it, but I just felt weird about it. Tonal whiplash out the wazoo.

Especially when we had to watch Lucas drive by and see Nathan’s horse at Elizabeth’s house. 

Lucas sadly watching Elizabeth talk to Nathan was also awkward, but at least it gave him the courage he needed to break things off with her.

You’d think I’d have a lot to say about the triangle, but I’m saving all of that for some kind of...post-season discussion. Who is she going to pick? Nathan seems like the most logical writing choice, but it could yet be Lucas. I genuinely don’t care who she chooses so long as she picks someone.

--

Carson & Faith

I like to hate on these two a lot, so you might be surprised to know that I’m enjoying their storyline. I’ve criticized this series over and over for never bothering to portray realistic relationships and one thing I can say about Faith and Carson this season is that things actually feel...plausible.

I also appreciate how they try to tie Carson into the town a bit more: he talks to Henry and Minnie and even Lucas trying to figure things out! It makes perfect sense to me; how do you choose between someone you care about/the potential life you could make with them, and a career that you’re really and truly passionate about?

This is the most interesting Carson has been since Season 5.

Anyway, the pudding scene was genuinely funny, and a great way to break up the stress that I’m sure we were all feeling about his impending proposal. Faith’s reaction to thinking he might propose was...pretty telling. I really wish they hadn’t saved so many dangling plotlines to solve in the final episode, though. I was hoping Faith and Carson’s storyline would be fully figured out in the penultimate episode so that we could let him go (or whatever) in the season finale. It just seems to me like it would be a good, smooth ending for them.

Also, for what it’s worth, they tried doing this kind of plot with Frank in Season 5, but it was rushed and pulled out of thin air; he’d never shown an inclination toward pastoring toward dying children in the past and it was clear that they just needed to write him off the show. With Carson, this sort of plotline works VERY well; he was a surgeon, and he was passionate about it, but that passion took a hit when his wife needed surgery and she died on the table under his hands. He’s had some time to move on from that and process his feelings, so it makes sense that he’d find that passion again. I just wanted to point this out because it’s interesting how well it works for Carson and how...well, not-well it worked with Frank. I really felt like with Frank, it was just a storyline that could have been given to anyone with the same success rate, whereas with Carson they took a look at the character and what we already know of him, and built the storyline specifically for him. That’s good writing, babes!

Anyway, Carson trying to propose in the vague hope that Faith will come with him, even knowing she doesn’t want to leave Hope Valley, is pretty manipulative and awful, but it really goes a long way toward making his character feel like an actual person. Like yeah, he does actually want the best of both worlds. Do you blame him?

--

Rosemary’s Purpose

I know a lot of people are really into this storyline but I found it boring. The only good part was when Lee called the other desk in his office “hers.” Everything else just felt like a bit too much to come to the conclusion that she should run a paper. We already had her “advice” column in the paper and it was...amusing while it lasted, but eh. I just don’t see good storylines coming for her from this angle, especially when they went the route of her finding out she wants to start the paper back up to share information with the town. Are we really going to trust Rosemary’s integrity when it comes to writing news stories, especially when MOST of the time the things she’ll be allowed to write about are, you know, who grew the biggest cabbage? It makes me dread the potential for Round Two of Nosy Rosie.

I dunno. I used to really like Rosemary but this season’s been pretty rough on her character. Good for you for wanting to find your passion career, but most of us work so that we can eat, not for a fun way to pass the time and stay busy. :/

--

School District Problems

Mr. Landis is right and Elizabeth is an idiot. Sure the school board is being assholes for no reason (as if they’d care if one blind child was sitting in a classroom in one western town lol), but Elizabeth’s really going to dismiss his concerns about how she can juggle the added work necessary to teach Angela while also keeping up with everyone else?

It sucks that Angela will get left out, but Elizabeth should be working with Mr. Landis to come up with a plan to teach Angela without sacrificing the education of her other students. Better yet, she could rely on her friends for advice. Like Rosemary.

Still no apology there...

Anyway, a projected 100 new kids? That’s outlandish. The only way that will happen is if they open a factory in Hope Valley, and even then it could take years. I MEAN, WHERE IS THE HOUSING GOING TO BE FOR ALL THE ADULTS THAT WOULD GIVE YOU A HUNDRED NEW STUDENTS LOL. I think we have to assume the plotlines are connected.

I also find it hard to believe the board would care about Elizabeth being certified to teach Angela. Where else is she going to get an education? It’s 1918 in the middle of almost nowhere???

This show drives me nuts with its attempt to be a “Frontier Show” while also shying away from the characters actually being stranded/cut off from society at large. You still had unlicensed teachers teaching in western towns in this time period because nobody cared!!!

ANYWAY, if Union City was like 3 miles away I could see them trying to combine schools. But it isn’t. So.

I dunno. I hate this plotline. I feel like they stole it from a better show (Road to Avonlea, where the bigger school was just a few miles away and it made sense to consider combining the schools for a better education system for the students as one-room schoolhouse teaching was proven to be less effective) but didn’t bother to consider any of the logistics of the storyline.

Maybe it’s my passion for education and history that makes me hate it, though. I know too much to find this storyline believable. I should also mention that I haven’t enjoyed Elizabeth’s role as teacher for a very long time. (I think they suck at writing Elizabeth as a teacher.)

I’m just not interested in wherever this is going to go because I can’t imagine it’ll have a lasting impact.

The only good thing I can say about the whole plotline is that I REALLY LIKED HOW BILL CAME OUT OF IT. I think he’s the only person who knows how to speak to Elizabeth. She struggles with blunt honesty at first, but ultimately tends to appreciate it, and that’s pretty much what she always gets with Bill. Also, the scene where he shuts her down didn’t make her look stupid, either (just worried/anxious), so I could appreciate it.

--

Jesse’s Disappearance

I couldn’t care less about this plotline if I tried. Jesse’s gone missing in the mountains before (was it last season? I don’t even remember because I didn’t give a damn about it then either) so this felt like a multi-reused plotline...for the same character, no less.

It’s also poorly implemented. Why doesn’t anyone else care about Jesse? Why is Clara pouring her heart out to Lee while her friends are failing to support her in the slightest? Why should any of us care when we know he’ll be fine?

It just feels so forced for the sake of drama, and it’s made 10x worse because there’s too much else going on at the same time.

Also, how convenient that they have to tell us how hard-working and dedicated Jesse is to his work to force this plot to even make sense... C’mon, he has never been a particularly dedicated to work. They just needed to explain why he would have left the car so that he could be “missing.”

Boring. I also don’t care that much about their “stolen” money.

The only good thing in all of this is seeing how soothing of a voice Lee actually has. 

--

The best parts of the episode:

Henry calling Florence “Flo” GOT ME. It was so surprisingly cute???

I love Bill, and he really came out of this episode looking great! Finally, it seems they’re done writing him as a grouchy old man who hates everyone! In this season (and particularly in this episode), he is allowed to be capable, smart, helpful, loyal, and in possession of a great deal of integrity. I couldn’t believe that guy tried to bribe the judge in town right off the bat lmao...but the way Bill handled it felt very in character—very reminiscent of him from S3 or 4. He never shuts things down immediately, preferring instead to get more information to use against his, erm...opponent. Should he need it, of course. I was really happy to see him written well in this episode.

HENRY’S LETTER FROM HIS SON. STARTS OFF WITH “DAD,” AND SAYS PS. I LOVE YOU AT THE BOTTOM. Good for Henry.

Fiona’s backstory! Finally, we get some FIONA LORE. Neat.

PUDDING HANDS CARSON. 

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Book Four - Part 10

Anti brings the others to help him get Dapper back from Dark, leading to an all-out battle with a half-dozen different sides.

Tws for imprisonment, physical fighting, and fire.

Part 10 - the Houses in the Woods

Anonymous asked: Trick? Dok? You going down too?

“Come on,” says Trick, taking his hand.

“Can’t they handle it?” asks Dok nervously.

“Bud, come on, I’m not going to let him hurt anybody.”

Dok looks at him as they head down the stairs together. He doesn’t know when Trick made it his responsibility to stop Anti from hurting them, but, proud as he is that Trick is stepping up, he doesn’t think he likes it.

Anonymous asked: Dok, we need your necklaces Trick we need you to be behind your true family. We're nearing the climax, and the heroes will either win or lose against the beast among them.

Trick and Dok exchange glances as they reach the door. Trick’s eyes flicker to the necklaces on Dok’s throat. Dok squeezes his hand, frowning. After all they’ve been through together, Trick can feel the rift in the air between them like a physical force.

We’re not on the same side, he realizes a little numbly.

Dok pulls away from him to check on Red, crouching down beneath Anti timidly and taking Red’s head into his hands, examining the goose bump forming on the back of his skull. Trick goes to Anti, clutching his hands and pulling him back from Red.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says. “Can’t be hitting him.”

Anti’s eyes seem to burn, and not just from Blue��s stolen fire. He clutches Trick to his chest and glares around at his siblings, bitter and violent.

“You’ve got fifteen minutes to get ready to go,” he spits at Blue and Red. “We’ll go get Dapper back. If you fail me, maybe I don’t have any use for the two of you little traitors anymore.”

“What am I going to do?” asks Blue, bewildered. “I can barely walk most of the time.”

“Dark’s whole territory is hidden in a mirror dimension, just like that stupid convent where the magicians kept Dok. You have to open the mirror so we can get in.”

“But - I don’t know how,” protests Blue, blinking.

“Well, you better find a way to jog your fucking memory, hadn’t you?” snaps Anti. “Otherwise maybe I’ll have to worm into that head of yours and dig the recollection out.”

Blue and Red exchange looks, alarmed. Anti stalks past them, pulling Trick with him as he goes.

“Whoa, Anti, hold on, I want to talk to - ”

“Dok can have you back when he has those necklaces off his goddamn throat,” spits Anti, yanking him down the hallway.

“But that’s my - ”

“You want to start causing me problems too, Trick?” shouts Anti, whirling on him.

Trick’s lip trembles. He lets Anti lead him back towards their room.

Anonymous asked: You can have your true name soon, Ro. It'll all be okay soon. Hold on for us, Jackie. Losing a small battle doesn't mean you're losing this war.

Red pulls Blue to his feet and they stand together, turning to see Dok padding listlessly after his twin. Blue moves to go after him, but Red pulls him back.

“Do you remember anything about mirror dimensions?” asks Red.

“No,” answers Blue. “No, it’s totally random, out of nowhere. How would I know anything about that?”

“He seems to think you would.”

“Well, if I did, he took the memories from me.”

Red sighs. “Maybe it’s a muscle memory thing? Those are different than memories of actual events or memories of everyday facts. Maybe once we get to the mirror it’ll be an everyday fact thing.”

Blue shakes his head, biting down hard on the nail of his thumb. “He’s going to possess me again if I don’t remember,” he whispers.

“You’ll remember,” Red insists, but even as he says it it doesn’t feel true. If Anti doesn’t know and Blue doesn’t remember, who would?

Anonymous asked: Do you remember the early days Trick? Where you and Dok desperately tried to save the Henrik and Chase within you, having to watch Anti tear the two of you apart day after day. The snake in the rabbit's den. Don't let him steal your heart from your family. Trick, you need to find the Chase within you that you and your twin fought so hard to save in the early days. You need to be their guard, their hero, before Anti kills them or worse.

Trick’s face scrunches up with distress. He pulls on Anti’s hand, looking back at Dok, staring miserably after him from the back of the hallway.

“Let me go with you and the others,” pleads Trick.

“What? No. You could get hurt.”

“So could they!”

“I don’t care about that,” spits Anti, pulling him to his chest. “You’ll stay in your room.”

“I want to be there if something happens to you,” Trick insists, gripping his hands. “I’ll stay back and I’ll cover you with my gun. Anti, you’re upset, you’re getting into a fight, you don’t even trust the others right now. Let me go with you. As a guard. That’s all.”

Anti softens a little, gazing at him. He pushes Trick gently towards the stairs. “I’ll… think about it. Go get dressed. We’ll see.”

Trick obeys, moving to get his gun and some better clothes.

Things are complicated in his head right now, but you’re right about one thing: he needs to be their guard.

scunneredzombie asked: Red, do you remember at all the password that Henrik used when you were sent back in time last time? Or Dok, do you remember anything you were told by the magicians?

Dok frowns, turning back to the others. “I remember… Nina would speak to the mirror? And it would let her step through it. I remember that when you’re in the mirror, it’s like a loop no matter how far you walk.”

Red nods slowly, glancing between the pair of them. “Right. When Dapper and I went back to the - I mean, I remember something. I think we lived in a mirror like that too, one Blue made for us to be safe in. I remember we had to speak to it too to get out. Like a password. ‘Amo, vale.’“

Blue laughs weakly. “That means ‘I love you, goodbye.’ Or almost, anyway.”

“But when Nina left the mirror, she said something in Spanish,” says Dok. “Not ‘te amo’ or anything like that, I don’t think. If it is like a password, I bet it’s unique to every mirror.”

“So how do we figure out the password?”

Anonymous asked: Hey Shep, no idea if you have a camera right now, but you know anything about mirror dimesons by any chance? Just random curiosity!

“Well, I don’t know anything about them, exactly, except that Dark and Wil made one for the houses,” answers Shep.

He’s walking around the forest, still looking for Noodle. Determined.

“It’s cool, I guess. Kind of weird. You can really get stuck in a place like that. And we’re supposed to be really careful with it, because if we break the mirror, you can sever the connection to the real world and lose whatever’s inside.”

Anonymous asked: Is there anything funny Wilford says every time he goes into the mirror? He's always really funny, I'd love to hear more of him! Or something Dark says? I'm really curious about you guys.

“Come on, guys,” laughs Shep. “I know you have to say something to get in there. It’s my home too. I’ll give you a hint… Dark’s told you their password before. Did you think that the only thing it would give you access to was a website? They always wanted you to come and find them. Find the truth, they said.”

Shep steps up onto a log, balancing on one foot. “Oh, yeah. And it’s also a son of a bitch to have to read that out every time I want to go home!”

Anonymous asked: Geez, I'm getting whiplash from your overwhelming favoritism, Anti. Don't want your favorite boy to get hurt? So you'll probably lock him in the room again, all alone and miserable? What will happen to him if you don't come back from Dark's place, uh? If you lose, you're just going to let him pathetically wither away, is that it?

Anti shrugs, glancing at Trick as he walks away. “If I can’t have him, he may as well die.”

Anonymous asked: Lmao sorry Shep, not trying to treat you like you're dumb, we're just used to dealing with a very manipulative demon. I am genuinely curious about you all, and thanks so much for hunting for Noodle, you epic hero man. Big hearts your way!

“I didn’t take any offense, no worries,” answers Shep mildly. “And yeah! Ask me anything anytime. I like talking to you… for a long time I figured nobody was interested and maybe that’s why I got thrown aside. Yes, I’ll look for the cat, and then you’ll have something to remember me by this time!”

Anonymous asked: Jackie, Marvin, this might be a long shot, but when you get to the mirror, try reading out this: Lh3EeEeR9z59YWcUB2b7ViHJ8ALQ637

“What sort of a fucking password?” Blue demands.

“Dok, will you memorize this for us?” asks Red.

Dok turns and reads it over. “Okay, got it.”

“That Dark thing really is cruel if it’s making everybody read that out to get in there,” grins Blue.

Anonymous asked: Oh my god, the heist code is the mirror code? It's so convoluted though! How are you guys not getting locked out with that?

“Wilford never remembers a letter of it,” laughs Shep. “But he can transport in and out anyway. And the twins, they usually come in and out with someone there to help anyway, because they’re developmentally delayed. All the rest of us, we write it in our phones or memorize it. It’s actually only the first eight letters that are the code, so it’s not so bad.

It’s just how Dark does things. They’re obsessive over all of Mark’s projects… they hate him, but they fixate on his videos and stories. When Mark found out they actually gave out the password to our home, he only laughed, though. Dark just wants direct contact with the audience, and Mark will never give it to them, but they try at every turn.”

Shep pauses, glancing at you, the camera tucked into his pocket as he searches for Noodle.

“I don’t care that you know, but just don’t tell Dark you heard anything from me.”

Anonymous asked: Remember guys, it's a tool of gaslighting when your abuser tries to convince you that you're a "traitor" the second you stand up to the abuse. Don't let his manipulation sway your thoughts. You are not traitors. You are escaping an abuser who has pummeled you into dirt for years, years of pain and torture. It is not traitorous to stand up for yourself.

“And he can’t mock me for being autistic like that,” grumbles Red, pushing at his hair. “I struggle with myself enough already.”

“He can’t just take Trick away from me,” agrees Dok, his eyebrows drawn unhappily together. “He’s just being a control freak, punishing me for trying to stay away after he said he would kill me!”

“The only reason Dapper is gone in the first place is because Anti was bargaining with our lives for his and Dark’s entertainment,” adds Blue. “We can’t let this keep happening. He doesn’t really care about anyone but himself. Even his favorites are getting hurt and now Trick is being locked up like Dap. We have to find a way to get all of us away and finish Anti the fuck off.”

Red flinches, still not comfortable with the idea of killing Anti, but Blue and Dok just meet each other’s gazes, steadfast.

Anonymous asked: Jackie, why are you uncomfortable with it, if I can ask? He just confirmed he never loved you, he's threatening to kill all of you, saying Trick is better dead than free, he let Dapper get stolen and taken away from safety and his medicine. He's going to be the death of all of you unless you get to him first. It's looking like it's the only way to save them. Be their warrior, protect them now when they need it most.

Ro turns away from you, a flash of anger in his face. He doesn’t answer.

“Roser,” says Blue.

Red waves him off, stepping out of the room and walking back down the hallway.

Anonymous asked: Also, guys, be very very careful, you can't break the mirror while JJ is in there, or apparently you risk losing everything and everyone inside.

“Oh, fuck, okay,” says Blue, nodding his head. “Yeah, we’ll be real careful. Thanks, guys… I don’t know how this would have worked out without you. I think we’ll go pretty soon. Are we… ready for that? Last words before a big fight?”

He looks at Dok, who looks back, not able to give him a smile. He touches Dok’s head and pulls him to his shoulder, knocking their heads together.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” he says.

“You don’t know,” answers Dok frailly.

“I’m going to find a way to get you away from him.”

“We’re still not all on the same page,” murmurs Dok, closing his eyes. “That’s what the magicians told me, again and again. That we have to all be fighting him. And we’re just not, Blue. Trick still loves him. Dapper doesn’t even seem to remember what it’s like to hope for something better. Are the three of us enough to do this?”

Blue sighs, rubbing his shoulder. “We’re just going to see how this turns out, honey.”

Anonymous asked: Trick, sometimes when life is scary, you’ll want to go back to where you understood it. But you can’t go back, whether you want to or not. Understanding will come, but you have to fight tooth and nail for it. Fight through the haze and claim your mind for yourself again.

Trick sits on his bed, staring at Anti as he moves around their room.

Anti plays with his appearance in the mirror for a few minutes, looking pensive, but then you see frustration and pain on his face, and he just transforms back to his usual self - green hair, black tee, ripped jeans. He glitches again and again as he moves, out of control and looking tired and pale, rummaging through the drawers in case there are any weapons he wants to hand out before they go.

“Anti,” says Trick quietly.

“What?” asks Anti.

“You would never really kill one of the others, would you? That’s just your temper.”

Anti plays with a whip, turned away from him. “Sure,” he says flatly.

Trick sighs, rubbing at his head. He gets to his feet and moves to Anti’s side, trying to get his attention. Anti dives back into the drawers. Trick grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“Hey,” he says. “Talk to me. What is going on with you lately?”

Anti sulks, shaking his head, but he doesn’t yank away from Trick’s grip. He plays quietly with the holster on Trick’s waist, tapping at the gun.

“Just angry,” he grumbles.

“Yeah, I’d be angry too if someone I was into started acting like they don’t know who I am, but that doesn’t mean you get to take it out on us.”

“Well, they ran away!” shouts Anti.

Trick grabs his face between his hands and kneels down beside him, drawing his gaze.

“I love you,” he says. “But the reason they ran away is because the way you’re treating them isn’t right.”

Anti wilts a little, glaring at the floor.

“We’ll figure it out afterwards,” he growls, getting to his feet.

Trick sighs. “Go easy on them for my sake if nothing else.”

“Yeah, sure,” mutters Anti. “Whatever.“

Trick squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to feel like this - like you’re understanding Anti better than he himself is these days. He doesn’t want you to be more true than his brother.

But he also doesn’t want to believe that he’s not thinking for himself anymore. This is what he really feels, isn’t it? This is worth putting up with? This is family?

“Are you sure about this?” he asks.

“About what?”

“Going after Dark? Shouldn’t we maybe, like, talk to them before starting an actual fight?”

“They made the choice they made,” says Anti quietly. “And they took Dap. No more talking unless they’re groveling beneath my heel.”

Anonymous asked: You might not all be on the same page, and hell, maybe a couple of you are in different chapters entirely, but you're all in the same story. The others will have to go at their own pace as best they can to reach a good ending for all of you, okay? It won't be easy and it won't be perfect but the most we can do is try.

“And that’s what we’ve wanted all along, right?” murmurs Blue, touching Dok’s hair. “A chance to try. To get away. To protect each other.”

Dok nods, trying to smile.

“Today,” says Blue softly, reaching down to touch a necklace on Dok’s throat. “I think we might get a chance to use some of these.”

“Okay,” says Dok, nodding again. “Okay. It’s going to be okay.”

He’s scared to be tortured again. He doesn’t know if he could survive that. But Blue is here, gripping his hand, and he knows that at the very least the two of them have each other.

It’s going to have to be enough for now.

Anonymous asked: Anti can and would kill them. He /has/ killed them. He used to kill Red and force Dapper to turn back as punishment. He stabbed Dok in the lungs for trying to protect Dapper. As long as he has time travel, he'll kill them without a second thought just to punish the others.

Trick sits back on the bed and shudders.

“We can’t keep living like this,” you hear him whisper, as Anti busies himself around the room.

Anti steps back towards him. “Ready to go?”

Trick sits up, looking pale.

“Yes, Anti,” he says.

Anonymous asked: Trick, sad to say you'll be living like this for as long as you belong to Anti. Anti will never change, and he will never stop hurting you to make himself feel stronger, locking you in rooms to feel like he owns you, killing and torturing your brothers as punishment. He cannot, and will not ever control his temper. You're going to be stuck here until he's gone. You will not escape abuse unless you leave the abuser.

Anti steps close to Trick on the bed and takes the camera from him, turning with a sudden force to throw it against the wall, smashing it into pieces. Trick flinches and Anti laughs, touching his cheek and leaning down to kiss the side of his face and knock their foreheads together.

“Come on, then,” he says, stroking his hand down green hair as you watch from the camera in the corner of the ceiling. “Let’s go. I need to know I have at least you on my side.”

Trick looks up at him, eyes wide. For a moment, his eyes flicker over to you.

He takes Anti’s hand and they move down the stairs.

.

The farther they wander, the darker the trees.

“Is this Dark’s doing?” whispers Red. “Or did they just pick the blackest, deadest part of the forest they could find?”

“It’s Dark’s doing,” hisses Anti. “Now shush.”

The trees stare down at them, sunless monoliths looming like gods over their heads. Birds flitter about like rodents through gutters, but not one of them sings, and the buzzing of insects appears only for a moment before a bigger creature comes to snap grasshoppers and flies up like deviled eggs eaten in one mouthful.

“Are we close?” asks Dok, stepping over the ashy graveyard of what was once a great redwood. “Blue is tired.”

“Why are you here again?” snaps Anti.

“Dapper’s sick, Anti,” Trick reminds him. “Dok needs to look after him.”

“I’m sick of the lot of you,” answers Anti, which makes Red snort despite himself, trying not to laugh. Anti raises an amused eyebrow at him.

“Come on,” he sighs. “Here’s the shed.”

Inside a shed in the forest - which Anti has mostly smashed open in the hopes of ticking off Dark - there is a mirror taller than they are standing against the back corner. Anti pushes his way inside and spiders scutter away from the dim light. Dok leaps back, nearly running back the way they came, and stands back from the shed, watching his feet.

“It’s okay, man,” calls Trick, helpfully squashing spiders beneath his heel. “I got it.”

“Go on then,” says Anti, shoving Blue’s shoulder. “Top magician. Jack’s special boy. Didn’t do you much good in the end.”

“Step off, Anti,” Blue spits back, stalking towards the mirror. “You’re just lucky the cameras helped us with this.”

Anti leans against the wall, picking at spiders while Blue and Dok and Red try Dark’s password. After the first eight letters, the mirror changes. There is no longer a reflection of Blue, tired and pale, in the glass - instead, it looks out like a window onto a trio of houses in a grassy field.

Red and Blue exchange glances. Anti and Red exchange glances. Dok sees a spider by his foot and yelps.

Red puts his hand to the mirror, curious. Slowly, his fingers pass through the glass like water. He draws back again, eyebrows raised, and turns to look at Blue.

Blue is gone.

Anti straightens up in his skin, cracking his neck. “Ready?” he asks.

Red gapes, shaking his head.

Anti punches his shoulder and grabs his sleeve. “Come on, so,” he says.

“Go in there? Get Dapper?”

“I should never have reset you. You and I used to go sneak into shit and take what we wanted together. I hate that the violence is gone from you. You were more fun before I gave you Blue. Don’t know when I managed to ruin you so badly.”

Something about his tone makes Red flush, his heart aching. He looks away, mouth taut, and sucks in a breath. Looking up again, he finds Anti looking back at him through his twin’s captive eyes.

“Fine, then,” says Red, straightening. He turns his body towards the mirror and grips his hands into fists. “I will get him, then.”

Anti passes him a fighting staff. Red blinks and takes it into his hand, remembering the weight and feel of it from a time he no longer recalls.

“After you,” says Anti, pulling a knife from Blue’s jacket.

Red moves through the mirror and into Dark’s home.

“Be good,” calls Anti, clucking Trick’s chin once before following after their older brother. “I’ll be back very soon.”

And then Trick and Dok are alone in the twilight forest.

Anonymous asked: Don't let your loyalty become slavery, Trickshot. Know when to let go, know when you're being held back instead of driven forward, know when their desires drown out your own. Never compromise on self-respect.

“All these messages are for you,” mumbles Henrik, sitting down on a rock in the earth and looking the camera over in his hands.

“They’ve been talking to me a lot lately,” Trick answers just as quietly, but he won’t look back at his twin. He waits at the door of the shed. In his hands, Dok’s gun.

“But you don’t listen,” Dok guesses.

Trick doesn’t answer.

“You’re letting Anti treat you like his toy,” says Henrik, turning away from him. “Won’t see the truths they tell you.”

“Dok, let’s not start, not now, c’mon. Been days since I seen you. I thought… maybe Dark had you.”

Anonymous asked: If you don't confront it and talk through it with us now, then when will you, Trick?

“Mhh,” groans Trick, looking away. “We’re busy…”

“You don’t want to ever face it,” says Henrik. “But one day, it will be in front of you, and you will already be too late to act.”

“I won’t fail to protect you again, Dok.”

“You cannot see the things that hurt me. You are blind to them. They will hurt me again. You will watch.”

“I mean it,” says Trick, loud. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. For real.”

Anonymous asked: Be strong Trick, and more importantly be /you/. Be the man who would do anything for his family, the person who lets his twin massage him when he's been guarding for hours on end, the person who whispered secret names across the room to your brother. You need to protect your family, your real family. You have a choice coming up, man. Your brothers, or your abuser.

Henrik watches his brother for a long time. Eventually, Trick glances back at him, eyes uncertain.

Henrik smiles.

Trick relaxes a little and comes to his side, sitting down with him. After a moment, he puts his head on Dok’s shoulder and fixes his eyes on the shed.

Watching. Waiting. Guard dog.

Dok massages his back so he won’t get stiff. Trick smiles. They sit in the wind of the trees together.

“We are making decisions these days, aren’t we, mein zwilling?”

“Not between you and Anti, though,” murmurs Trick. “Not making decisions like that.”

Henrik sighs, his hand around his arm. The distance between them has never gaped quite like this.

“It’s sunset,” says Trick. “Are you going to say the Shema?”

Henrik blinks. “I haven’t said my blessings in a long time.”

“Oh. I thought maybe you still said them in your head. After you stopped saying them with me.”

Henrik shrugs.

“You don’t anymore?”

“I feel far away from the Lord,” he says, very softly, staring down at the earth beneath his feet. “And lately I am not the sort of man who is strong enough to keep my eyes on Him while the valley of the shadow of death is around me. I am dry bones in the desert. The blessings begin to feel pointless. I can’t even keep track of my own holidays. Candles on Hanukah… it’s nothing. Or very little. I can barely remember the inside of a synagogue. I feel far away from my community. I feel far away from everything.”

Trick shuffles, frowning at him. “You didn’t tell me you were feeling like that.”

“No. I guess not.”

“You usually talk to me.”

“You’re not a Jew, my friend.”

“But you tell me things like that. You used to. We would say the blessings together.”

“I feel far away from you too,” whispers Henrik.

Anonymous asked: In abuse there's always a 'honeymoon phase' where the abuser apologizes and makes promises to change. But the tension builds, some false law is disobeyed, and another abusive incident happens. Fish and chips, a warm kitten, treats and gifts and Hanukkah candles are all false apologies for behavior that will never change. One reason it's so hard to leave is because you always want to believe they can change. But all the self-improvement in the world won't fix the way they hurt you in the past.

Trick bites down on his lip, his hands soothing along his gun. He looks between you and Dok. “It’s not a honeymoon phase… Dok-Dok, I’ll talk to Anti about you going to services - ”

“Don’t,” says Henrik dryly. “Don’t, I don’t want you to. They’re right. He doesn’t care.”

Trick shakes his head, putting his chin in his hand as he looks up at his brother on the stone beside him. He doesn’t know if he should say he’s sorry or get angry at him or reassure him or what. He never seems to know lately. Feels cold in the air between them. He hates that. All he’s thought about for days is the things that Dok would do to cheer him up if they were stuck in that bedroom together, and now he can’t even comfort him.

He closes his eyes. For long minutes, they wait.

“I’ll say it for you, then,” says Trick.

Dok looks up. “What?”

“The blessing,” Trick says, mouth set. “If you don’t feel like you can have faith right now, I will.”

Dok’s lips twitch. He shakes his head at Trick, trying not to grin. “You don’t know it without me.”

“I do!”

“No way.”

“Shema, Yisrael,” begins Trick. “Uh.”

Dok laughs. Trick laughs too, but he’s determined. He keeps going.

“We’ve said it together often enough. Shema, Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu. Adonai echad…. wa-hafta… w… v'ahav'ta eit Adonai Elohekha m'odekha…”

Dok looks at him, beginning to smile.

He doesn’t pronounce all of it right. He might skip a word or two, and, as always, he stammers. But he fumbles through the Hebrew with his mouth full of love for him.

And as he goes he begins to hear Henrik whispering the English alongside him.

“And you shall bind them as a sign on your hands… and between your eyes… and you shall write them on the doorposts of your home and on your gates.”

They are looking at each other. Trick grins. There is sunset light in his eyes.

Henrik puts his arm around him again and they sit side-by-side.

Anonymous asked: I know you can feel the divide between you and Henrik, even as anti-blinded as you are, Trick. You know you'll have to make the choice between them eventually. It isn't a betrayal to escape your abuser. It isn't traitorous to hate the person who's hurt you. The choice will ultimately be yours, but you have to realize and wake up to the distance between you before you can even come to that. Anti won't change, Trick. How many times has he promised to be better, only to hit you the very next day?

“He has hurt you,” says Trick, his voice very low. “Hasn’t he?”

Henrik presses his head against his shoulder, hiding just a little. “And you too.”

“No… not on purpose.”

“If you have to start by believing that he hurts me, then yes,” says Henrik. “Yes, he has, and he will not stop.”

Trick sighs. “Well. Then… I think you should go.”

Henrik sits up straight, staring at him. “What?”

“I think you should go. Like you want to. You’re an adult, Dok. We all are. We should get to choose. Right?”

Henrik touches his hair. Henrik beams.

“Yeah… yes, of course. But not without - ”

“No,” Trick cuts him off. “Not now, bud. Okay? Let’s just… chill for a bit. It’s going to be okay. And if Anti hurts you again, I’ll stop him.”

“That’s not your job,” says Henrik, as though wounded.

Trick squeezes his hand. “Are the others okay?” he asks you.

Anonymous asked: Red, how goes it? Find anything yet? Dapper is in a clinic room with barred windows last time we saw him

“Stay back here,” Red warns Anti, pushing him back into the trees. “You might use him like he’s at a hundred percent, but Blue’s sick. Be gentle with his body.”

“Get the boy back for me and I won’t have to use him rough,” says Anti, stepping back into the shadows.

“Okay,” sighs Red. “Anything I should be worried about?”

“Everyone in there is either an imbecile, a powerhouse, or both,” answers Anti. “Have fun.”

Red turns towards the house, clutching his fists together. Okay. He’s got this.

Red stalks around the house, swift and quiet, darting through the grass and staying out of the sight of windows. There are three houses. On one of them, he can see Dark and Wilford on the porch, talking and playing with an enormous dog. There’s a movie playing in another, and Red can see a man inside driving a toy car around the carpet. The third house is still until a little brown cat slips out of it and darts away. Red will check out all three in turn if he has to.

Anonymous asked: Hey Shep! You should tell us about you guys' houses. Where is everything, and why does everyone live in separate places?

“That’s it, I’m coming home,” laughs Shep, turning back towards the houses. To be fair to him, he’s been out in the heat for hours and he’s a sweaty mess. “Uh, well, Dark lives in their house ‘alone’… we all know Wil sneaks in there half the time and Google spends most of his days guarding the place like a loyal little puppy. He takes so much pride in being Dark’s weapon, he’s nuts. Won’t listen to anyone else, though.

“We come and go with the other houses. They’re damn empty these days. But Host and Google and Wil and I have our house, and sometimes Ippy comes back to stay for a while. Eric and the twins are all that’s left in the other house. Sometimes Illinois, but he’s in Mexico right now. I miss Bing, shit. I miss a lot of them.”

Anonymous asked: Dapper, you awake? Back in the early days of us talking to you, you said you would only be free if all of your brothers were as well. Well, Dapper, we're doing our best for you, because we care for all of you so much. Jackie, Henrik, and Marvin are on the side of freedom so far. We will keep you safe, and we will protect you any way we can. Wish us luck, Jameson.

Dapper is drawing on the walls.

It’s been his favorite pastime for a long time, ever since he realized Anti wouldn’t punish him for making the house his canvas. His biggest piece was in a defunct pen manufacturer in Sweden, where they stayed for about two weeks, during which time he covered an entire industrial wall in an image of the very ugly aliens from A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Today he draws Anti in cheap pencil lead along the wall of Ippy’s clinic, coursing the point along the curve of Anti’s curving smile. He looks happy in the picture. His hands are empty and open.

Dapper turns at the sound of the beeping and smiles at you, though you see a glassy film over his fevered eyes and a tremble in his artist’s fingers. His face softens as he reads.

“I care for you too,” he tells you heartfully, touching his chest. “All of you, thank you - for being here, for keeping me company, for all of it. And you know I’d always wish you luck, my dears.”

Anonymous asked: Hey uh, dapper? Are you feeling alright? You look a little bit... off

“I am not really recovering from this whole sickness thing that is happening,” he answers unhappily, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m tired and hot and my head aches. I can’t keep any food down, including most of my medicine. And Dark was right… Anti helps with my psychosis.”

Anonymous asked: Jackie, methinks you should avoid the house with Dark on the porch unless you can't find Dapper in the other two. Google is guarding, and Silver Shepheard is on his way back. Try to avoid a fight and be sneaky if you can.

“Kinda want to poke the bear, though,” admits Red, narrowing his eyes at Dark. “They have to pay for this, the fucking cock-jockey.”

His own insult gives him a burst of confidence as he slides past Dark’s house. A black and brown cat watch him disdainfully, waving their tails at him.

“I’ll check the other two first. Thanks, guys. I just need to find a way to get in and get him out… or get him out from outside.”

Anonymous asked: Anti helps superficially, but you know what would help more, JJ? Seeing a psychiatrist to get a mood stabilizer to assist your Haldol, seeing a behavioral therapist to help deal with symptoms, and being free from a constantly traumatizing environment. You need stability and the help of doctors. Things are probably extra bad right now due to being a hostage in a strange environment. You're not hopeless without Anti, millions of people like you & I cope and live good lives w/o mind demon's 'help'.

Dapper shrinks in on himself a little, playing with his hands. He stares at Anti’s eyes on the wall.

“I remember… getting better while we were all at home, without him,” he signs quietly. “Even the paranoia - and the paranoia is always the worst - even that was better. And whenever I started talking to my hallucinations, the others would have me go stand in the laundry room, and then after a while I could take ten minutes in the laundry room and come out and the hallucinations would be so much easier to deal with. Just from having that organization in my life. And I took a couple medications and nobody got mad at me if I was delusional or disorganized or acting really weird. And I had a therapist who signed. And I went to church and the priest would give me confession and I didn’t feel like I was going to hell. And nothing ever hurt me.”

He looks down at his hands.

“It was easier.”

The admission seems to have taken a lot out of him. He slips back down onto the bed, sighing.

scunneredzombie asked: Dapper, is there a window or door near you? Red is here to get you, but he needs a way to get you out!

“Yes, there’s a door, but it’s locked, and a big window, but it’s barred.” He frowns at you and makes prayer hands. “Tell him come bust me out. I sure can’t fit through those bars unless someone wants to shrink me and put me in their pocket. Like a little hedgehog…”

He begins sketching a hedgehog by Anti’s foot.

scunneredzombie asked: Rojo, be on the lookout for large, barred windows, probably the second of the houses?

Ro creeps around the first house, narrowing his gaze at Dark, his hands still aching for a fight. For now, though, he’ll have to focus on getting Dap to safety.

He moves around the second house, slipping down beside a cracked window to listen inside. There’s a television playing a loud cartoon. Lifting his head a little, he can see the man with the toy car driving it around the carpet and talking to himself. There is a whole crate of toy cars. On the couch, a second man sorts patiently through them, occasionally holding a little figurine up to the light or racing it along the arm of the couch, making vrooming and beeping noises. Red sits back a little, rubbing his palms together as he thinks. He wants to wreck some havoc, but not in front of a pair of twins who aren’t causing any harm and don’t look like they’d be able to comprehend someone trying to hurt them. They’re all clean and content-looking, playing with their cars. Red sighs. Having innocents around makes things harder.

It always does, he thinks to himself, and he feels more than recalls a memory from two weeks ago - Anti taking him and Dapper to kill the man who owns the house they’re staying in now. His stomach churns and he digs his nails into his palms. He still remembers the blood-craze in Dapper’s eyes as Anti helped him bury a knife in the man’s chest - and then, moments later, the hopelessness.

“Come on, Red, come on,” he mutters to himself, creeping around the back of the house.

He doesn’t see any barred windows. He glances into the clearing between the three houses as he waits for his chance to dart over to the third house.

Dark is on the porch of the first house with another one of his soldiers, someone with a voice so loud and booming Ro can hear it from here. His hand is on Dark’s waist as he chatters at them. Ro remembers the weight of Max’s hand on his waist… the smell of him…

“Goddamn,” he hisses, slapping himself. Lately he can’t focus on anything. He’s just… sad. He pinches his arms until he gets some clarity back, gnawing on his lips.

“Dapper Dapper Dapper,” he chants to himself, and it’s this thought that carries him over to the third house, where, at last, he spots a little barred window in a window well to the basement.

Anonymous asked: Jackie, we believe in you! Hero of the day, the hero of all time!

Ro gives a shaky little laugh, but you’ve put a grin on his mouth. He darts over to the window, feeling sneaky and maybe even a little bit competent, which is nice. Maybe he’s even acting a little like Jackie would act. The thought gives him a strange, nervous satisfaction.

“Dap,” he whispers, tapping his knuckle cautiously against the window. He can get his hands through the bars, but not much further.

Something shifts in the room. He squints his eyes through the dim light of the basement room and sees a nervous pair of big blue eyes looking back at him.

“It’s me, dude,” he whisper-hisses, glancing around.

Dapper’s eyes water with relief. He pushes the window open, leaving only the bars between them. At this angle, Red can only just brush his hand against his shoulder, reaching down into the window well, and he can hardly see his hands.

“Are you okay? Shit, I was worried, Carve. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

Dapper grips his hand and squeezes in forgiveness.

“How do I get you out?”

There’s those big puppy dog eyes. They’re familiar, sure, reassuring and maybe even cute, but not problem-solving. Red squeezes his hand back and tries to think.

“I’ll have to come inside… or get the bars off. Unless you can shrink? Have any Borrower friends in there that could help? Maybe some mice and birds, Cinderella-style?”

Dapper pinches Ro’s hand and he laughs despite his rising heart rate, more and more anxious the longer he crouches here.

Anonymous asked: Dapper was right Anti, you're such a fucking creep. Dying his hair green and roleplaying like he's Jack but still forcing him to love you unconditionally. Touching him like you love him when he's just an object to you. You don't deserve any of the love any of them have given you. You're disgusting.

“He belongs to me,” answers Anti coldly, leaning back against a tree as he keeps an eye on the houses, waiting to see if Red will fuck up or bring Dapper back to him quietly. “I can do what I want with him. Jack never gave me anything but lemons - fine, I’ll make lemonade. Besides, let’s not pretend Chase would be anything at all without me. He’d just be childless and drinking himself to death in the backroom of their house like he was before I kidnapped him. This whole crusade the lot of you have, trying to set them free… pointless. You won’t make them any happier. He’d be miserable with a taste of freedom. You know, if Jack wanted his little protagonist to actually be able to save the day, maybe he shouldn’t have made him so helpless. Huh, like fucking Chase Brody could have ever done anything about me… well, he’s mine now, so there’s your story, Jack. There’s your fucking story.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti, this is important. Dapper /needs/ to see a proper psychiatrist, just once or twice, so that he can get a mood stabilizer and other medicines to assist his antipsychotic. You can't neglect him like this, he's schizophrenic/psychotic, treatment and constant medication updates are the only way to truly help him be better. Constant mind manipulation only makes things worse for him if he's away from you even for a short time.

Anti’s eyes flicker over to you and then away again. He’s playing with fire on the ends of Blue’s fingers, eyes flickering from the white light of it.

“Mh,” he shrugs, uncertain. “I don’t think I want him talking to anybody outside of the house. If he needs a mood stabilizer, talk to Dok and have him talk to me. It’s like American health care! You gotta get a referral. Besides, if being away from me makes things worse, then I’ll just have to be better about making sure he isn’t away from me again. Not even for a short amount of time.”

He drops a flame to the earth and then stomps it out with his foot, his gaze watching as though infatuated as even a moment of fire singes a whole patch of earth and sets leaves to blazing. He bets he could burn down this whole forest if he wanted to… maybe set all of California ablaze. Again.

“Letting Dark take Dapper was my fault,” he tells you quietly. “I overestimated how much they cared about me. Let them fool me. It was stupid. It won’t happen again. Not with anyone. Dapper and Trick… they’re reliable. No one else. Almost makes you wonder… if anyone else is even worth trucking with… mh.”

Anonymous asked: Without Blue, you'll have no one to possess: Dapper might snap and Trick can't handle it. Killing Dok would be the worst possible thing you could do if you still want Trick on your side. And like it or not, Red is your watchdog and the others protector. If you kill any of them, the others will turn.

Anti glances at you, his stance softening a little. He shrugs.

“I guess you’re right,” he says. “Just lately feels like more trouble than they’re worth. I think Jack made five to make sure it was too much for me. Maybe it’s just time I started admitting that. Trick and Dap would be cute twins. I could make Trick forget, and I think Dapper would only be sad for a while, cause it’s not like it changes much for him.”

He pauses, digging his heel into the ash of the forest floor.

“No… you’re right, though. I think. Yeah, I can still use them. They all take care of each other - yucky, but necessary.”

Anonymous asked: Anti what will you do if Dapper breaks? And I don't mean just emotionally or mentally because obviously you only see that as minor maintenance. What happens if he can't use his time travel again? Will his loyalty still matter or is it just his power that you use him for? Is he only worth as much as his usefulness to you?

Anti plays with the bark of a tree, picking at it until new growth sprouts from the side of the trunk. He peels it off again and grumbles to himself for a moment.

“I’d still want him around,” says Anti. “I guess. I mean, he’s - like… he’s the only one who… I don’t know. He’s comforting. Fine. But I don’t know if that’s because of the power or because he’s always been mine. I’ve hated not having him with me these last few days. It’s like the whole world is wrong. And when he was in Columbia, I felt like I was going to implode. Like I was going to die. And I was sick at the time, with Blue’s power eating me up. I wondered if maybe I would die before I could ever find him, and not even know if he was okay.”

He plucks apart a leaf from the offshoot he created, tearing it into pieces, which drift towards the forest floor.

“I wasn’t sure if he’d grieve,” he adds. “If he’d grieve if I died.”

Anonymous asked: They don't belong to you, Anti. You don't own them, they're adults that are fully capable of making their own decisions. They have the right to leave you whenever they want, because you abuse them and refuse to learn to control your temper. You're immature and treat them like toys, but they are autonomous human beings that deserve to make their own decisions. Why don't you test it, if you think they love you so much. Just let them go and see if they crawl back like you say they wil. I doubt it.

Anti grits his teeth. The truth is that Red was willing to leave him the moment someone else showed him that he could have a life outside of Anti, and the thought devours him. Blue was only ever here for his siblings.

“Look, I don’t pretend to not be a monster,” he snarls. “Fine, some of them don’t love me. No matter how much I use the hypnosis… it’s not real. But guess what? I don’t care. They still have to belong to me. They’re not getting away from me. Not with air in their lungs.”

Anonymous asked: Dok isn't a psychiatrist, Anti. It's two completely different fields of medicine. JJ needs to see specifically a psychiatrist. Hell, I don't care if you go to the appointment with him, but you need to let him see someone to get his medicine adjusted. Think about it this way, how much use is he to you if you're constantly having to mess with his brain and ward back his psychosis, when you can easily get the same effect with just a few trips to a psychiatrist and a less stressful environment?

“Dok’s supposed to be Jack’s genius. If he can’t handle Dapper’s issues, nobody can. Dapper has always done fine, with only a couple exceptions. Actually, I think the paranoia sometimes makes him sharper, more alert, and the hallucinations keep him scared and confused. He won’t leave me when I make him feel both sane and terrified, when he thinks he’s too much for anyone else to handle. As long as he doesn’t snap completely, his illness is a benefit to me.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, I think you're so insistent that they would never be happy with freedom because you can't stand the thought, the truth, that every single one of them would be better off without you.

“How about you all stop trying to piss me off before I decide maybe you aren’t all worth dealing with either?” snaps Anti, pointing at you in accusation. “Fuckers. All you do is plot against me lately. It’s barely even fun. Maybe I’ll torture the lot of them just to see you whining and begging again.”

.

Red squeezes Dapper’s hand one more time before sneaking around the back of the house, where a glass-paned door looks into the kitchen.

He could try and get in here. He could try and get the bars off Dapper’s window somehow. Or he could ask for help.

It’s as he’s thinking that he notices movement -a figure entering through the front door, their gait thudding and their shoulders set like a statue’s. Red catches a gleam of light through their glasses. Gigi moves like a bear, his every footstep heavy and determined. Ro narrows his eyes.

“Well, then,” he mumbles, tucking you deeper into his pocket. “Do I tangle with that or try something else?”

Anonymous asked: I would try something else instead of trying to tango with Gigi. He's a robot, so he wouldn't go down like a regular human, and the commotion caused by that fight would draw too much attention.

“Oh, boy,” says Ro, drawing back from the door. “A robot, okay. Well…”

He could maybe climb the house. He sees an open window. If he listens, he can even hear a deep, sonorous voice speaking from inside it, as though narrating.

“Mh,” he says. “Could maybe get up there. I can see places to put my feet already. Or maybe… Dok’s necklace? For Dapper?”

Anonymous asked: The voice from the window is a blind man who sees All. Probably not a good idea to try sneaking by him. And... as for the necklaces, if you use it for Dapper, then you won't have it for Anti. Make sure you've exhausted all other options before that, Jackie.

“Okay,” murmurs Jackie. “Well, I think we’re looking at either man-who-sees-all or robo boy. If I have to fuck with one of them, who do I go for?”

Anonymous asked: Dapper's mental health got better when he had both mood stabilizer and other medicines to help with his other symptoms. You need him /healthy/, him being paranoid and hallucinating isn't good for him. You switch so fast between caring about him and tossing aside his issues. Anti, it would take a very simple set of changes in yourself & your personality for them to stop running and conspiring. You can change. You're not incapable of it. Start small, let him see a psychiatrist. Small things first.

“I’ll think about it, alright?” Anti says, turning his head away. “I got bigger fish to fry right now.”

Anonymous asked: Hey, Trick & Dok? Do you think it would ever be possible to get Anti to let Dapper see a psychiatrist and get medicated properly? I know you don't remember, but before Anti took you all away from your home, Dapper was getting better. He wasn't stuck being constantly psychotic and afraid, he was healing. He needs therapy and proper medications. I don't think Anti would ever give him that, he has too much fun abusing him, but... could you try?

“I’ll help convince him,” promises Trick right away, nodding. “If he needs that, then he should have it. You can get his medication fixed, right, Dok?”

“No,” says Dok, exasperated. “I’ve never really known what the hell to do with him.”

“Oh. Well - ”

Something snaps in the forest. Trick is on his feet, gun pointed.

Silence. A flicker of movement. Dok and Trick are taut as the bow of a violin.

Anonymous asked: Shep? Is that you?

You can see Shep on the other side of the trees, frozen as stiff as the twins. His gaze flickers nervously over to you and then back to the twins, his fists clutched. He doesn’t even have his knuckles with him. He didn’t actually think someone would be here. No one’s ever come to their house before. He pulls out his phone, backing away from the trees.

“Who’s there?” shouts a voice. He stills, staring at Trick through the trees.

.

Red should sneak into Host’s room.

Dec. 12 2020

3 notes

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Red should go in through the backdoor with Gigi.

Dec. 12 2020

1 note

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Red should try something else.

Dec. 12 2020

2 notes

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Anonymous asked: Trick don't shoot. It's someone who lives in Dark's house, but he's unarmed. Just be careful and try to come up with an explanation for why you're there?

Trick lets his gun falter, glancing over at Dok.

“He already knows who you are, right?” signs Dok. “Will he try to kidnap you again? Kidnap us?”

Trick grits his teeth and steps closer to Dok, blocking him from Shep’s view.

“You leave us alone!” he shouts. “You come any closer and I’ll shoot!”

Shep backs away again, nervous. He opens Gigi’s name in his contacts.

Anonymous asked: I dont know if there's anything else you could try, Red. But if there is, def look at it. Otherwise, between Gigi and Host, I think at least Host could possibly be reasoned to/ spoken with? Gigi is a no-go. Hes 100% loyal to Dark, and an android, so he'd be HELLA hard to fight. And also he'd alert Dark. Host, im not quite sure exactly where his loyalties lay, but im sure he's hella powerful. So use your words before you try and fight him.

Ro presses himself against the side of the door and hoists his body up. This isn’t like the house where he and the others are staying, lined in decorative brick to give him footholds. Instead, windows make his only path up. While his hands find a grip on the tops of the windows, he suspends the rest of his body with his side against one jutting windowframe and his feet pressing against another, and slowly leaps and drags himself up the side of the house, his worn sneakers threatening more than once to make his foot slip and his body fall. The black and brown cats are watching him from the ground, blinking up at him as he goes.

But he won’t. Today, he’s Jackie, and he doesn’t think Jackie would fall, so neither will he.

“On another day,” comes that chasm-deep voice from the open window on the second floor, “he might have been fine. The Host is not always looking. Today, he is.”

Ro pauses, hiding against the side of Host’s window, one foot on the side of its sill.

“Is he going to turn back?” asks Host in a murmur. Craning his neck, Ro can see the man bent over braille paper and a recorder “Or will he still try to sneak past him? In a trance this deep, it’s possible Host won’t be able to do anything about it anyway. He does not like to interfere with other people’s stories.”

Anonymous asked: Shep, wait, please don't call anyone who would hurt them. Theyre only here because they're following orders.

“What do you want?” calls Shep, a faint shake in his voice.

“How about the little brother you stole?” spits back Trick. “No, stay back! Stay back there, I swear to God.”

“You need to get out of here before I call Gigi,” says Shep. “Or worse, Dark.”

“No, don’t,” protests Trick. “Please, we just want Dapper. Nobody has to get hurt. We’ve had enough, okay?”

Anonymous asked: Just let Jackieboy Man's story play out, please, Host-we-love-the-most. He deserves to be the hero again after all he's been through.

Directly addressed, Host comes out of his narration a little, brushing scattered hairs out of his face. He runs his fingers over his papers, jerking back a little.

“Fuck, what a mess,” he mumbles. “Too many players in this game. How long have I been writing?”

Ro’s foot slips for a second and he catches himself quickly, thudding against the side of the house. He winces hard, closing his eyes in panic.

Host chuckles inside the house.

“Come in, then,” he says. “I’m not meant to interfere, you know…”

“Who are you?” cries Ro, heart pounding.

“Ignore me,” answers Host. “I’m just the storyteller. You are the action-taker.”

Ro rolls his eyes, biting down hard on his lip. “You’re really not going to snitch if I come in your room right now?”

“No.”

Ro pauses. Scratches at his beard. Glances at the trees, where a pair of squirrels are judging him from a few feet away.

He slips into Host’s room.

Anonymous asked: Trick, should you just take Dok back to the house? Shep can and will call help if you don't leave. I don't want you guys to have to get in unnecessary fights. I'm pretty sure Jackie and Anti can handle it from here, yeah?

“If we go back we’ll be in so much trouble,” breathes Trick, frightened just at the thought of it. “He told me to guard the way, so I can’t let anyone in or out.”

“Why do you have to do what he tells you?” asks Shep.

“Why do you have to do what they tell you?” answers Dok bitterly, standing up beside his brother. “At least Trick doesn’t notice when he’s being used as a pawn. You know you’re that monster’s little soldier and you still do horrible things just because they tell you to. Pathetic. You stole our sick, speechless little brother just because Dark and Anti decided our lives were board game pieces to be played with. You just let yourself be used, no mind control needed.”

“Hey!” snaps Shep. “You better watch your tongue, little man! I make my own goddamn choices. Your brother is the one who would have killed Gigi if he were human just because Dark wouldn’t kiss him.”

“Dark and Anti are not creatures to be trucked with,” says Dok quietly. “But we have yet to find a way to escape our monster. Turn back. We’re smaller than you, but we are far from helpless with or without a firearm.”

“Look,” answers Shep, biting down harsher words. “Nobody wants a big fight here, right? Seems like Dark and, uh. Anti? Seems like they had a misunderstanding themselves. Maybe we can work this out.”

Dok and Trick exchange glances.

Anonymous asked: Trick, if Shep were to promise to not snitch on you being out here to Dark, then would you let him through? And Shep, would you uphold that promise? Both of you have lost things, you're even in bad deeds. Gigi was destroyed and Dark's back was injured, and Dapper was stolen. No one else needs to get hurt if you try compromising with each other, right?

“I won’t tell Dark for now,” says Shep evenly, hands raised in surrender. “But I don’t think you understand. Dark is an essence and those houses belong to them. They’re always creeping around. If your other brothers are in there, the chances that Dark hasn’t spotted them yet - slim to none.”

Trick and Dok frown at each other, worried. Dok shuffles a foot closer to him.

“I’ll let you through the mirror,” says Trick. “If you let us come with you. I have a bad feeling about what comes next… I think maybe it’s better if we can try to work together. You’re right. No one else needs to get hurt today.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Henrik, answer when the time is appropriate, but advice about Dapper from a training pharmacist, I would try prescribing him Depakote or a common antidepressant to work alongside his Haldol if Anti will let you! I know it must be very hard to have to be a psychiatrist when it wasn't your field of study :(

“Oh, thank you, yes,” answers Dok, his shoulders loosening a little. “Yes, well. He wasn’t on anything when I first… remember. And he didn’t do very well. He would smoke to ease his paranoia, but then he would be paranoid about getting cancer every time he’d cough, so it did him little good. He’d stopped trying to fight his own delusions. Anti was most of his treatment plan, but he acts so dreamy and lost when he’s in his head. Honestly I just kept trying medications til they worked, which probably wasn’t very good for him either. But at least I was allowed to see him and Trick then, coming upstairs to check on him everyday. We were in Sweden at the time, I think. Or Denmark? Before Norway. I was not even sure if we were brothers. He doesn’t speak so much when he’s really ill. He was just my little patient in the attic. He was the one who called me Doktor first.”

He rubs his hands together, glancing up. Shep and Trick talk quietly by the mirror, faces tense and hands always waiting for the other to throw the first blow. Dok sighs, though a faint laugh falls from his mouth with it.

“Oh. I would like to see all of them well for once in my life.”

.

Red steps uncertainly towards the Host.

“Shy?” asks the deep voice, and it seems to echo through his head. It reminds him too much of Anti and Dark. He slinks back against the wall, cowed despite himself.

“Hmm,” hums Host. “You’re not who I thought you were.”

“Who did you think I was?” asks Red quietly.

“I write a lot of stories,” says Host, brushing his fingers across pages and pages of snow-white braille. “I see a lot of stories. It takes only a side glance. A moment of contact. Stories for everyone I meet. Stories for the people who meet the people I meet. Not all true. Not all real. But possible… possible. Alternatives to the reality we survive in now. I saw, once, a story from a young man Mark shares business with. I thought, for a moment, that you were the protector in that story. The strong man… the hero. Not the protagonist, true. But almost as important. The courage to his tired hands. Defender.”

Ro plays with his hands, his eyes flickering around for a way to slip past Host without coming close to him.

“But you are alternate too,” says Host. “You’re not Jackie. Not quite.”

It makes his blood hot, but only for a moment. For the most part, he feels shame. His head drops. He turns away from an unseeing gaze.

“Guess not,” he answers. “But I still have to try to be… that.”

“Jackie?”

“Yes. Jackie.”

“Well, stop,” answers Host dryly, turning away. “Stupid boy.”

“Hey! What is your problem?”

“Stop living in a story you don’t even fucking remember,” spits Host, already striking his typewriter hard enough to fill the room with click-clacking once again. “Pathetic. You’re wasting a perfectly good character arc on trying to be someone you’re not. You have your own part to play. Jackie couldn’t save his family, Ro. Not for lack of trying, but he did fail, in the end, and that’s why he’s dead and you’re not. If you want to give him life again, it’s time to stop wallowing in your doubt and your fear and your shame in yourself and start being Ro like a real hero would. You better start acting like a hero – today, Roser. Too long the five of you have been stuck in the same painful narrative. Take up arms. Stop trying to remember and be.”

Host turns to him again, and Ro has never seen so much expression in a blindfolded face.

“Or lose more than even Jackie did.”

A cat slips in through the door, mewling, and comes weaving her way through Host’s legs, pinning Ro with a yellow gaze. He steps back nervously, staring at the cracked door. His throat bobs in a swallow. He grips his fists, straightening up at Host.

“What if he’s not enough?” he asks quietly.

“Who?” says Host.

“Me,” he answers.

“Of course he’s not enough,” spits Host, shaking his head. “How dull would it be for a character to be enough all on his own.”

Ro opens his mouth to reply, but Host beats it to him.

“Google!” he calls, turning towards the door.

“Fucking snitch!” cries Ro, terrified.

“There’s a closet across the hall. Run inside. You can sneak past him when he comes in to check on me. This is the only help I will give you. Go.”

He’s too frantic to argue. In a flash, he’s leaping out of the door of Host’s room and shoving himself into a closet full of cleaning supplies on the other side of the hall.

“Host?”

Those thudding footsteps move up the stairs. A fist pounds a knock against Host’s door. “Are you stuck in a vision? If you haven’t left your room since I checked on you this morning, you’ve been static for four hours and twenty-three minutes, including our usual breakfast hours and…”

Ro darts out of the closet on near-silent feet, racing down the stairs with his heart pounding. He throws himself against the wall for a second, thinking someone’s coming in the front door, but it’s just the second cat he saw, a big black cat like a shadow against the wall, letting out a hiss at the sight of him. He races down the second set of stairs and through the little hallway that frames Dapper’s door.

“Dapper!” he calls. “It’s me, I’m here.”

Faint whistling from the other side of the door. Red shoves his shoulder against it, tearing at the handle. It will not open.

“Fuck this,” he mumbles, and a moment later he finds himself ducking into a bathroom nearby, tearing the lid off the toilet tank, and slamming the porcelain into the handle of the door until both shatter and give. The door slides open.

“Dapper…”

There’s his little brother, curled up all lonely on the bed. In the light, Ro can see him clearly at last, and the relief of finding him comes charged with a painful nausea for how ill he looks. It’s worse than a hollowness, because Jamie has always been skinny. It’s worse than fatigue, because Dapper has always been tired. It’s worse than shadow, because his youngest brother has long felt alone. Now, he looks chewed up and spat out, cut open and removed from himself, faint and white and exhausted. He does not rise to hold Red. He can barely raise a hand to greet him.

“Bud, no,” says Ro, because his first thought, in that moment, is that Jameson is going to die.

He moves forward to scoop him up for a moment, pressing him to his chest. He can feel the heat on him before he’s even touched him. Sweat beads against Red’s fingers where he cards his hand through Dapper’s mussed brown hair, gone limp and tired, no longer curling at the fringe.

“Can you walk?” asks Ro, drawing back to hold his shoulders in his hands.

“Not sure,” answers Dapper, touching his wrist. “I feel really quite unwell, Red.”

“They haven’t taken care of you.”

“No, they tried,” protests Dapper. “They’ve given me medicine for my fever and things like that. Kept my wrist clean. I’m much better off than I was a few days ago.”

“Fuck… you could have died if that’s true.”

“I think maybe I would have if I stayed with Anti,” says Dapper, lying his head down on his brother’s shoulder and letting his eyes slip shut.

Red hugs him, grateful for the thudding of his heartbeat. As much as he knows they need to go, he needs even more to feel his chest moving with air, if only for a moment.

“You really are just not having a fun life, are you, Dippin’ Dots?” he says, the weight of it sitting on his chest.

“There are parts of it that are nice,” replies his brother, his hand resting on Ro’s shoulder.

“I’m going to get you out of here,” says Ro. “Like I promised.”

“Okay, Reddy. I’m really quite tired.”

“Okay. Okay. Here we go.”

He raises him into his arms, pressing him close against his body. He’s always tried to stay strong no matter how little he had to eat – not always successfully or healthily – but as the months have gone on he’s been finding his old strength. After wasting away in Norway, he built up corded muscle in Peru with long, difficult hikes up the mountain every day, bringing water and medicine and Christmas presents to his family, and in the past few weeks, with both Max and Anti, he has had good food and plenty of time for the exercise his body has craved. Host was right: now is the time to be strong.

He’s stepping out of the clinic room when he sees the big black cat again, darting away from him now, its fluffy back turned to him.

“Hey,” he laughs. “Did you follow me down here?”

And then, at the top of the stairs – black shoes and dress pants. The thud of a cane against the wood of the floor.

Ro back away, mouth taut, and he watches as that black cat, so dark that the light does not shine gold on its fur, dissolves away into the crowd of shadows that swarm like a cloak around Dark’s dead, rotting body.

“Spy cat,” Ro says. “Pretty sure that’s cheating.”

“I could see you the moment you stepped foot into my territory,” answers Dark, in a voice like a wind through cold water. “Your soul is so frantic it burns just to look at it. Even the ocean of silver power from the little one does not wash your color away.”

“Oh, what color?” asks Ro, curious.

“Not red,” comes the dry reply.

Dark takes a step down the stairs. Their body seems to jolt for a second, and then they must sit down, pain tightening their features.

“Heard my other little brother fucked you up pretty good,” says Ro, taking another step back towards the clinic. “Still not fully recovered, huh? I think I’d be a douchebag if I made fun of you for having a broken spine, but I’d like to offer a generalized ‘fuck you’ if that’s alright. You can’t even get down these stairs to get me, can you?”

Dark vanishes back into smoke and bursts into being at the bottom of the stairs, bone shifting in their broken face. Red yelps and puts Dapper on his feet, turning to wrap his body around him.

“Your little monster will pay for his over-powered tantrum,” says Dark.

“You stay the hell away from us!”

“I’ve never seen anyone as simultaneously intriguing and annoying as he is. But no matter. Soon, I’ll snuff his bright lights out and tear up both the natural and the stolen powers inside his chest, and then he will stop haunting me.”

“You take one more step towards me and I’ll call for him!” shouts Red, extending his fighting staff and whirling on Dark. “And this time he’ll fuck up more than just your back!”

“Call for him, then,” sneer a dozen echoing voices at once, and as Dark’s power begins to fill Red with terror and revulsion and confusion and grief, he puts his hands over his ears, opens his mouth, and screams for Anti.

And in the woods, Anti hears.

Anonymous asked: Anti, don't be brash and let your temper control you. Fight with the wit even Jack knew you had.

Wit – wit, yes, well, this at least keeps his gait steady as he moves Blue’s body through the trees, eyes fixed on the house where he can see his oldest gripping his camera. What you say is true, as he was always Jack’s little killer, clever and powerful, manipulative and built with an instinct for fighting more commonly found in a marten who plans to make a porcupine twice its size into dinner. He was patient, in the beginning, and sensational when the time came for him to cut that porcupine open, and it was his wit, yes, that lead him to capture all five of the brothers Jack created, one after the other, remorselessly.

And yes, even Jack knew he had it.

He remembers the sound of his voice the first time he made his eyes bleed. He wiped the sleeve of a black hood across his stained cheek and met his own gaze in the mirror, and he saw Anti more clearly than he ever had before.

“This one’s wild. Already smart enough to try and get through to the audience. Like it knows…”

His fingers touched his reflection in the glass.

“Hey. I see you. I’m here.”

His fond mouth smiled.

“Don’t be scared.”

Anti remembers.

Does Dark not?

Does Jack not?

It hurts to bear the thought of it, the thought that they really and truly forgot him. He hates it. He hates that you mentioned it. That Dapper keeps saying it. That he doesn’t know what’s happening anymore and he feels alone.

That he sometimes wishes he were still just a notion curled, warm, in the back of Jack’s head, listening to him chatter and breathe.

No. No use for nostalgia now. What he wants are the people he can still have – his Trick, his Dapper, his brothers.

He’s done a lot of bad things to them. Cruel, unbearable things, without reason. But if you give him credit for one thing, let it be this –

Oh, Anti taught his boys to be fang-toothed.

“Where’s my little soldiers at, so?” he sings to himself. “Dok, Trick.”

You see the twins perk up and look over as Anti sends his own message through the cameras now.

“Go find your big brother, Trickshot, and start fucking laying waste. And you, Deutsch – get my little Carver, now. And if anyone tries to put their hands on him – teach them why I use you for torture.”

Steel makes their fond mouths harden. They glance at Shep, and then away.

“If that is what it takes,” says Dok.

“Then consider it done,” Trick finishes.

And he touches his reflection in the clear glass of the mirror, and moves.

Anonymous asked: Alright so we're just going in guns blazing. Dok, Trick, you have any idea of where to go?

“Well, I am guessing it is this house which is all shadowy and dramatic,” says Dok, lifting his chin at the third house, where Dark’s power has cast everything in late-night lighting.

“Hey, you’ll regret it if you go rushing in there at Dark,” warns Shep, shoving himself forward. Trick steps up to him before he can reach Dok, raising his head in warning.

“I have left my little brother to rot too many times in his life,” shouts Dok, moving towards the house even as Wilford steps out of Dark’s house to see what’s going on, smoking languidly as darkness curls around his feet. “He asked me to fight for him! So I will.”

“If you’re coming, then come,” says Trick. “But don’t try and stop us getting Dapper.”

“Fine! Just try not to piss Dark off anymore, for all our sakes!”

Anonymous asked: Hey Silver, I think you should probably go with Trick and Doc. If things get crazy (and they probably will, lbr), it'd be good to have someone reasonable around. I know you can't go against Dark, but I also don't think you want to see anyone get hurt. This is admittedly a big step up from asking you to look for a lost cat, but can you do it for us?

Shep stares at the wash of shadow growing over the corners of his home. He runs after Dok and Trick, expression torn, and when Anti glitches into existence in the doorway of his house, you see him fall back in alarm, eyes wide.

“What’s going on?” he hears Gigi shout from somewhere inside. A sudden thrill of fear pours adrenaline into Shep’s blood, remembering all too clearly the way Anti shattered the android last time they met.

But Anti glitches away before Gigi can reach him. Google snarls, slamming his fist against the door and stepping out to look around. Trick and Dok have already hidden, tucked against the side of one of the other houses. They’ll sneak around the back and get in through the door there, hoping to find Dapper. Shep stares around in a mild panic - but eventually, you see him set his mouth and glance at you. He follows after Dok and Trick.

Host trails out onto the porch after Google, lighting a cigarette with a cold grin.

“This,” he says, “is going to be good.”

ari-trash asked: So you're just going to watch the chaos unfold, Host? You're just going to stand back and let it all happen? Well... at the very least I hope it'll be entertaining enough for you

“Been boring as shit lately,” mutters Host, smoke wafting from his mouth as he breathes out. “I been waiting for Dark to bring me home some fucking chaos. Whole reason I stick around. Nobody gets in to as much bullshit as this family. Google, do you remember when Bim hired an assassin to kill you?”

“Host!” shouts Gigi. “Who’s in the house!”

“I’m blind, Inspector Gadget, figure it out for yourself.”

“Dammit, Host!”

Anonymous asked: Ro, you're gonna be okay. Just keep with Dapper okay? Help is coming

“We’re okay, we’re okay, we’re okay,” chants Red like the words are stuck in his mouth, over and over again. He backs away, wrapped around Dapper, hiding his face in his chest. Dark steps towards them with the thud, thud of their cane, eyes white as spoiled milk. “Help is coming, help is coming, help is - ”

“Hey!” shouts Anti.

Dark stops.

Anti stands at the top of the stairs, haloed in his own venomous, glitching light in the midst of Dark’s shadow. Green and red and cold blue light. He is beautiful and hollow. He is a grave waiting to be filled.

“Stop,” he says quietly. “Back off.”

Ro sees Dark’s mouth curve like a planet.

“Hi, handsome,” they taunt softly, inclining their head, gaze still boring into Ro.

Anti does not taunt back. His shoulders are drawn back, his head low. Blue’s eyes are like the broken edges of a piece of shattered glass.

“Done playing,” says Anti. “Get away from them.”

“I just want to talk,” they answer, extending grey hands like a crucifixion.

“Liar,” says Anti.

Dark turns to him.

“What do you want?” asks Anti, revealing just a moment of weakness.

Dark meets his gaze like a predator circling.

“I don’t know anymore,” they tell him. “For you to stop bothering me?”

“Liar,” replies Anti, very quietly. “Liar.”

Dark grits their teeth.

“I would like you to stop being the ghost that follows me everywhere I go.”

Dapper shivers in Red’s grip, his legs giving out slightly. Dark and Anti glance at him as he crumples and Anti reaches for him for a moment, gaze breaking.

“Back off,” says Anti, stepping down the stairs. “That’s mine. Enough. Enough games. Done playing. Why don’t you come pick on someone a little less mortal, you fucking slug?”

Dark extinguishes all light in the room. Red shouts, scooping Dapper right off the ground. In the shadow, only Anti is visible, Blue’s face lit with his myriad of spasming colors.

“Fine then,” comes Dark’s voice, and you hear their echo give a hissing laugh. “As you wish.”

“Red,” says Anti. “Get him out of here.”

And then he is under attack.

Anonymous asked: Trick, Dok, how bad is it looking out there? I think you guys have a chance but you'll have to hurry, maybe ask Shep which house had Dapper. He's still following behind, yeah?

Shep sighs, reaching out to take Trick’s sleeve, pulling him towards his home. “Come on,” he says, hissing to keep his voice low. “We’ll go round through the back door and get your brother. You can take him while Dark and Anti keep each other busy.”

“Into the darkness?” asks Dok.

“Dude, it’s pitch in there,” agrees Trick, eyes wide. “We won’t be able to see.”

“Can’t you call for each other?”

Dok and Trick cross their arms over their chest, glaring.

“Oh, that’s right… uh, well, he can whistle or something, right?”

“We don’t have much other choice,” sighs Dok, letting his arms fall. “He’s probably scared in there. Maybe even having an episode. He could snap.”

“I bet Red’s found him and they’re keeping each other safe. But we need to get them both out - Dark has a pretty strong effect on the both of them.”

Dok bites down on his lip, reaching tentatively for the handle of the back door to Shep’s house, behind which, nothing but darkness awaits. He hears a slam and the telltale buzz of Anti’s power, so loud it almost feels like it’s making his whole head vibrate. Dark shouts and Anti snarls back at him, indecipherable from the other side of the house.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s go.”

You plunge into shadow together.

Anonymous asked: Duck and run Red, get yourself and Dap out of there

“Come on, bud, let’s go.”

In the darkness, Dapper is almost completely unable to communicate with him. He feels him trying to sign, but they don’t have time to stumble through it, much as he hates to ignore him. He throws Dapper’s arm over his shoulder and moves towards the back door. Black as it is, Ro does not stumble for a moment. He saw the hallway once and that’s all he needs, same way he can take one look at a building before leaping up the side of it like a pine marten or a slightly over-sized squirrel.

There’s only a second where he pauses.

Dapper’s fever-heat warms his shoulder. He can hear his little brother panting in the darkness. Behind them, Anti shouts and snarls, locked in battle, and Red - oh, he can’t place it, much as he wants to, but a part of him knows he’s been here before. Not here, in this house, but… here.

“We were… trying to get away?” he hears himself mutter. “And you were sick… I needed to get you… home. To England.”

Dapper turns his head towards him in the shadows, mouth parted.

“But I couldn’t get away from Anti. Jackie couldn’t get you away from Anti. And then… Red stopped trying.”

And in the darkness, in the pitch black, Ro feels his little brother move his hands against his chest.

“He did not stop trying,” JJ tells him. “He just… needed to forget for a little while. Because he was in pain. He never stopped trying.”

Ro feels something sharp and tight in his chest.

“Here now,” signs Jameson, touching his heart. “You. Here now. Don’t be sorry. No more being sorry.”

No more being sorry.

“Come on,” murmurs Red, pulling him through the darkness again. “I gotta get you out of here.”

No more being sorry. It’s a waste of time. He needed to forget for a little while, but not anymore. Time to be what they need him to be. Doesn’t matter if that’s Jackie or Ro or Red or a little bit of all of them.

He won’t fail again.

Anonymous asked: Red, take Dapper towards the back door, if you remember where it is. Trick and Dok are trying to find you. Escape while Dark is distracted.

Red crashes into Shep headfirst and you hear them both yelp, drawing back from each other, but then Trick is hissing Ro’s name and reaching out blindly for his brother. Ro recoils when his fingers find his face and Trick knows it’s him, letting out a weak laugh. Ro grins at the sound of it, relaxing, and moves towards him.

“I’ve never been so glad to see you,” whispers Trick. Ro grabs his wrist with a grateful squeeze and feels how good it is to be on Trick’s side like they were always meant to be.

“We gotta go,” he says. “Come on, back towards the door.”

“Dark and Anti are going to hurt each other,” protests Shep. “Are we just… not doing anything about that?”

“Let’s just get out of here first,” hisses Dok, pulling them all back towards the door, and moments later, they stumble out into the light with sighs of relief.

aether-mae asked: Maybe you boys should stay out of anti and darks squabble. Let them brawl it out in the dark like the heartbroken lovesick monsters they are

“I think they’re right,” agrees Dok, already taking Dapper’s face in his hands to look him over. “Oh, my poor buddy.”

Dapper smiles wearily at him.

“Let’s get you home, yes?”

“We are far away from home,” signs Dapper, slumping against his shoulder. “But I would like to go back to bed.”

“I’m getting him out of here. Come, we should all go. Better to be far from this.”

Ro glances at Trick, and then at Shep, eyes narrowed. He can’t read Shep’s face at all - it’s never been a talent of his - but Dok and Trick must have let him come along for a reason.

“I just want everyone to be okay,” grumbles Shep, looking away from Red’s intense gaze. “Anti and Dark fighting like this - it’s stupid. And other people are going to get hurt if this keeps up.”

“Then we should run,” insists Ro. “Right?”

“You might be able to get your family clear, but I have friends in all of these houses,” says Shep quietly.

Ro nods, biting down on his lip. He pauses for a moment to meet Trick’s gaze, and if Shep’s expression is a mystery to him, Ro thinks he recognizes the determination in his brother’s face.

“We’ll stay to make sure Dark and Anti don’t hurt anyone,” he says. “They’re both out of control and we’ve let them play games with us for too long.”

“I’ll stay too,” agrees Trick. “Anti asked me to help Ro. But, Dok - here.”

Trick holds out the handgun. Dok blinks, shaking his head. “It’s yours. You might need it.”

Trick shakes his head back at him. “You have to protect Dap. If someone comes after you, he’s too sick to fight back. Take it and keep him safe.”

Dok takes the gun from him, mouth tight with worry. Trick touches his shoulder and then draws back from him, moving to Ro’s side.

“I need to get the twins before they get scared,” says Shep, glancing back at the second house, where a pair of matching faces are staring out at the growing shadow. “I’ll meet up with you back here and we can figure out what to do once they’re safe, okay?”

Red and Trick nod, stood side-by-side.

“Wait,” says Dok. “If I’m taking the gun, then - ”

He unhooks one of his necklaces and wraps it around Red’s neck. His brother startles, eyes wide.

“Dok, this is your - ”

“Break it and re-tie it if you need it,” says Dok quietly. “It will light up the darkness. It’s a weapon too. If you don’t need it, you can give it back to me. Just… take it, okay? I’ll feel better.”

“Why me?” asks Ro. “Use it to keep Dap safe. Or give it to Trick since I’m the stronger fighter.”

But Dok shakes his head.

“It was always for you,” he says. “Take it.”

The raven rests against Ro’s heart.

Anonymous asked: Keep your peepers people-d, lads.

“Bye,” says Trick quietly, meeting Dok’s gaze.

“I love you,” answers Dok.

“I love you too.”

And for a second, Trick just hates it - the memory it evokes in him, the memory of parting with Dok on the shores of a river in South America, the memory of losing him to the magicians and not knowing if he was dead or alive.

“Hey,” laughs Dok warmly, touching his cheek. “I’ll see you in an hour, yes?”

“Yes,” agrees Trick weakly. “Okay. I love you.”

“We already did that.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“I love you too.”

Dok and Dapper move back towards the shed, hand-in-hand, leaving Ro and Trick alone behind the house.

But only for a moment.

“How touching,” sneers a deep, dangerously steady voice. “That you really believe you can leave this place alive after daring to enter.”

Ro turns slowly, standing in front of Trick.

Gigi glares back at him, hands clenched into fists at his side. A terrible glow rises in his deep brown eyes.

“Is that what we were keeping our eyes open for?” asks Trick.

Red extends his fighting staff.

“That would be it, Trickster.”

.

Inside the house, Anti refuses to tolerate being blinded.

Fire lights up around him in a circle. He burns in the center of it, eyes glowing dangerously with the light of Blue’s flame.

“You can barely even fucking control that,” says Dark quietly. “It isn’t yours. What a fucking parasite you are.”

Anti leaps forward like a snake and strikes at Dark hard, only for his enemy to vanish into smoke. He makes no witty rejoinder and does not taunt Dark anymore. Dark tries to appear from the darkness to grab him, but Anti is lining the floor of the house in flame, illuminating the shadow. Dark flicks his hand and the fire douses. Anti shouts and redoubles his efforts: his fury overcomes Dark’s power and fire grows in the room once more.

“These floors were nice before you got here.”

“I’ll do the same thing to your rotting flesh!” shouts Anti, lashing out again.

Dark blocks his blade with the stern line of a wooden cane, letting Anti score a gash into the side of it and kicking at Anti’s legs, but Anti is swift and vicious and he leaps back with a snarl on his mouth. The speed with which they fight is alarming, so fast that at some points you can’t tell whose strike is slashing forward. Dark vanishes and reappears constantly, and Anti, though solid in Blue’s form, is so coated in glitching and so quick-paced he almost looks to be transporting himself. Dark is stronger, but their back hurts them, and any blow to their spine or chest could down them. Anti is the more savage of the two, but he is bound to Blue’s skin right now, choosing the comfort of incarnation over the freedom of his natural form.

“You look like a demon coated in fire like that,” hisses Dark, circling him for a moment.

Yes, Anti looks like a demon today.

“But you smell like a fairy. And you fight like a human.”

“I’m worse than all three,” whispers back Anti.

“What, then?”

“Nothing,” says Anti. “But that was always what intrigued you, wasn’t it?”

“Stop acting like you’re something irresistible,” snarls Dark.

“You used to tell me I was,” answers Anti, and for a second, you hear something like melancholy through the anger in his voice. A moment later, it’s gone. He lunges forward again and Dark blocks his knife with the cane before striking him hard in the face, sending blood pouring from Blue’s nose. Flowers burst up between the floorboards where the red blood falls.

“Control your fucking power before you tear the house down!” shouts Dark.

“No,” says Anti. “If you want me to stop, kill me.”

“Little monster, it will be my pleasure.”

But it is now that Dark hears Gigi shouting outside, and not just at Trick and Ro. A glance to the window shows them flame growing around the house as well as inside. The fire begins to lick at the trees. Gigi and Trick are hollering at each other, both blaming the other’s master for the damage.

“I’ll burn this whole fucking forest down,” howls Anti. “You think you can act like you forget me?”

Dark vanishes and reappears behind him, shoving him towards the door, and as Anti staggers they gift him a second blow to the face, sending him crashing to the floor. Dark reaches down and puts their hands around Anti’s waist, gripping him too tight as they haul him bodily out the door and over the porch, sending him crashing down onto the stairs that lead up to the porch. Anti lets out a short gasp, touching the back of Blue’s skull, where blood buds up to stain his fingers like ink. He blows out a breath and leaps back to his feet, trying to buy himself time by duplicating – creating false doubles of himself that look real, until Dark is surrounded by a circling trio of Marvins with hatred burning like stars in their eyes.

But Dark doesn’t press their advantage. Their face is flickering again, revealing short glimpses of that same emotion that Anti couldn’t accept when they were in the woods together: confusion, raw and genuine. Their hands are still held out in front of them, remembering Anti’s waist between their palms.

“Get out of my head,” they warn.

“You get out of my heart!” shrieks Anti.

“I’m not manipulating you,” growls Dark, raising their hands slightly – perhaps the beginning of a gesture asking for a pause.

“Well, neither am I. I got enough going on possessing this body for me to be messing around in anybody else’s head,” answers Anti bitingly, setting his three pairs of identical feet.

“Come on,” sighs Dark. “Do you really expect a soul-sight like me to be tricked by your glitches?”

“Which one’s me then?” shouts Anti, stepping forward, all three pairs of himself moving close, into Dark’s space. “And you know I’m not lying if you’ve still got any sight at all! You know that and you’re still – fucking – acting like this!”

A tree behind the house bursts into flame and you hear shouts and the scattering of squirrels.

But Dark doesn’t flinch.

Anti pants in front of them. After a second, his right hand, duplicated three times, reaches out and grabs Dark’s shirt – the shoulder, the back, and the lapel of their fine black suit.

Dark sets their hands on Anti’s waist.

Squeezes.

Hard.

Feels his solidity beneath their fingers.

Anti closes his eyes, a flicker of pain in his face, but, if only for a moment, you see some of the panic drain away from his white face. The double and triple flicker out of existence.

Anti breathes.

He looks up at Dark and he pulls in air, Blue’s heart racing. Ash in his mouth and hands on his waist.

“Asshole,” he chokes, striking Dark’s chest with a faltering fist. “You liar. You do remember me.”

Dark’s gaze breaks, eyes sliding closed. They squeeze his waist again. Loosen. Squeeze. Loosen. Breathe.

“I think… I do.”

“Why’d you pretend?” cries Anti. “Is it true what you said – my soul doesn’t look the same anymore? Can you see Blue’s power instead of mine?”

“I didn’t remember you,” mumbles Dark. “I still… it’s like if I had been a character in a play, and so were you, and then suddenly here you are, telling me to remember the lines we read. But the part of you I remember – you don’t look like yourself at all. You’re not the character. You’re someone else. Someone I know even less.”

Anti grips their wrist, shaking his head. “Don’t say that.”

“You can’t admit it to yourself,” Dark murmurs, withdrawing slightly. Around them, the heat and smoke is only rising. “That I don’t remember all of it. I can see the fear it puts in you.”

“What am I supposed to believe? Who could have done something like this? Not my Dapper. That’s a lie. Not him. The others have already – have already done what they’ve done. But not him and not Trick. Those are mine. You – you were mine, Dark, fuck you!”

He shoves Dark back and grabs their jacket, pulling them close.

“Tell me you remember me! And you were pretending! And you know me and now you’ll start acting like yourself again! Tell me that, now!”

But Dark is pulling away from him, shaking their head.

“Dark! Tell me that and mean it, goddammit!”

“You are a piece of something now far away from me,” says Dark. “But right now, all you are is a threat, and I will play games no longer.”

“Pangur Dubh!” screams Anti, voice breaking. “It’s me!”

“Wilford,” says Dark.

Anti hears the cock of a gun.

He throws Blue’s body back, falling back onto the porch again just in time for the bullet to miss him. Dark vanishes back into shadow and Anti turns his eyes to Wilford, who isn’t even reloading – just looking at him with a sort of strange pity in his eyes.

Anti –

Oh, fuck.

Shit, he –

He’s had enough.

He’s had enough. He’s had it. Humiliation washes over him so hot and loud it almost makes him dizzy, and Blue’s fragile little body aches against his trapped form even as it protects him from the side effects of stealing Marvin’s power, and he’s tired, and he’s scared, and he wants to go home.

But only for a moment.

Because, for a long, long, long time, he has learned one very dangerous skill:

Turn all of that into rage, and let it swallow you whole.

“Anti, you’re going to burn the whole fucking forest down! Dapper can’t reverse right now!”

“There are still people nearby! Dapper and Dok and others who haven’t hurt us!”

“Make him stop, please, please! Dark, do something, Wil, shoot him, make him stop!”

“Dark, you have to stop this. Where did you go?”

Trick and Red and Shep and Gigi’s voices are lost in the pounding of the blood in Anti’s head. Even Host is retreating now, stepping away from the porch and out onto the grass as the fire spreads, the amusement disappearing from his mouth. Anti chokes on his anger, eyes watering with the force of it, and blood gushes from his throat so fast he’s faint. At this point, he doesn’t think he could control the fire if he wanted to. He remembers Blue’s burst of power at the top of the mountain, sending plant life exploding through the rocks and sand.

Now I’m the one who’s out of control, he realizes faintly.

And a voice in his head answers, pleads, begs:

Anti. Give it back to me and I will make it stop.

Marvin, he answers. I wasn’t lying. I don’t know how.

All six of us and all of these people here are going to DIE, Anti.

Anti feels heat on his face. Ash on his white hands. Smoke in the air. Smoke like flame in the air. And he breathes. He breathes.

So be it.

[ayankun]

WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???)  There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference.  I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep.  The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels.  It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but.  the trauma is the joke.  The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!!  “Be. Good.”  UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice?  Please let it be deliberate.  I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found.  FOUND.  Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.”  Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now.  “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong.  Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music. 

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period.  The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!!  And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!!  This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft.  That happened in Civil War, right?  So the next ad is The Snap?  We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw.  Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left.  Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established.  That’d be p neat.  A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro.  I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed?  But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro?  Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse?  If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking.  But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away.  I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up?  Because look.  If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident?  With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just.  There’s just too many villains, alright?  We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up.  I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town.  Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California.  In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned?  Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him.  Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right?  I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right.  If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied.  Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time?  In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors.  Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory.  Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought.  I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection.  Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top. 

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction.  Like.  LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

[n-ugg]

I didn't expect to get tagged but here we are. As you all will be able to tell in a bit, I am a massive Quackity fan

Thank you for tagging me @skeetlehands!

who is your favourite member on the smp?

Look, I love them all but these have a special place in my heart.

Quackity, Slimecicle (I am fully aware he just joined but I still love him), Schlatt, Tubbo, Eret, AweSamdude, and Ponk.

They're just great in and out of character and just have comforting vibes.

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

I gotten in during the Pogtopia era since it took me a while to get access to the streams.

I mainly gotten in with the Sad-ist War animatics along with me trying to catch up on Quackity's VODS. Just someone that I was already familiar with being an easier shift into story and learning others through him

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching everyone interact with other and just seeing the plot progress in real time. Its literally just dnd but with extra steps but I enjoy it so much

The improv that they all do is amazing and how everyone have different approaches to their characters makes my writer's side so happy with dissecting everything.

What piece of cursed lore is your favourite

That Wilbur canonically fucked a fish and Philza canonically fucked a Samasung fridge and just seeing the fanbase try to change into something that will at least make a bit more sense.

Im included in this, I basically joined the side that has Sally being a mermaid shapeshifting pirate. Mainly because of pirate Fundy

Who is your favorite duo on the smp

Slimecicle and Ranboo: They're the same person but in different fonts, you can convince me otherwise

Schlatt and Quackity: They managed to be super funny together with all of the jokes and balanced with making a very realistic abusive relationship work. It was always fun seeing them flirt with each other for a joke then get hit with whiplash when canon comes in to remind me that this isnt healthy

Tubbo and Tommy: They're two dumbasses who share the same braincell but then they constantly lose it and Tubbo mainly has custody of it

Wilbur and Schlatt: I just enjoy seeing Schlatt messing with Wilbur and occasionally flirts with him to get Wilbur more pissed off

Who are your comfort streamers

Quackity and Slimecicle are comfort streamers

Eret, Fundy, and AweSamdude are my comfort people (meaning I dont watch them as much but I find comfort in their presence. And the other two are also under this category)

Who is your favorite character

Quackity due to how complex his character is and yet how it looks so simple

Schlatt because is just a villian who knows how to play the game without getting caught

Tubbo, watching him trying to be hopeful with everything destroy around him and he just slowly become used to everything going wrong

AweSamdude because he is just trying his best to be a father figure others and I just got family issues

Who do you think the best actor(s) on the smp

Imma skip over the ones that we all already said and get into the ones that dont get enough praise

Quackity: Just how he managed to make his character seem so basic but in reality its really complex. And just seeing the shift from him being a chaotic force of nature to being a serious character that is trying his best to reach something that has been hanging over his head is just *chefs kiss* and he always delivers amazing lines on the spot.

BadBoyHalo: He is doing great right now, even though he is a bit rusty with starting he still manages to get into character and stay in character the entire time. When slowly easing in, you can tell its a bit forced but once he finds his footing, he knows how to deliver his lines.

AweSamdude: His entire bit where he was getting rescued from the egg fucking hurt. How he sounded weak from the entire thing and tired to where he just wanted to rest was so well. And I know he can act more energetic when he was accidentally dragged into playing a cop during Quackity's and Bad's date

Fundy: You guys need to give him more praise for his acting because he is fucking amazing at it. The little touches to how he voice when speaks is so good along with his body language in game. He knows what he's fucking doing and I love him for that. And when he snapped, it made complete sense if you payed attention to his character

I didnt add Ranboo because he's automatically at the top section due to him being a dnd player. Same goes to Slimecicle even though he hasnt acted yet. I dont make the rules. You play dnd, you know how to act

What are your favorite quotes

I dont have favorite quotes, just dialog heavy scenes.

Before Doomsday, Quackity going to take his horse far away from L'Manberg, it being the one thing he cares about. It was just so good

The entire Schlatt and Quackity argument in front of the white house

The meeting between Schlatt and Quackity with Schlatt yelling out to him in a taunting way to where Tommy and Quackity are trying to figure out what happened to the tnt. I constantly rewatch it to feel the adrinaline pumping to feel something

Wilbur's slow descend into insanity and talking to Tommy. Just showing his paranoia and fears consuming him, him projecting his fears into Tommy as an attempt of manipulation, and his hero complex shift into villian one

Schlatt's winning speech of him projecting it as something that was bound to happen no matter what. The amount of charisma and confidence that was in his voice as I was watching Tommy hiding underground in fear was just a perfect scene

Tommy's argument with Dream when everyone is protecting Tommy. Its the small details of Tommy taunting Dream to kill him, knowing he wont no matter what. Him telling everyone to protect Tubbo and everyone listening without hesitation.

The debate that Quackity and Dream had for like 11 or 14 minutes. All of that was completely unprompted unscripted, it was just so satisfying seeing someone stand up against Dream for the first time and actually beating him. Sure it was in a verble conflict but it still counts as a defeat

Be honest, who do you simp for? (Ayo if anyone says Tommy or Tubbo I will🗡)

Schlatt, Quackity, and Slimecicle

Its pretty obvious, I dont really try to hide it

Whats your favorite stream

Uhhhh I dont exactly have one so none I guess

Whats your least favorite streams

Im sorry, but all of the Jackbox stream. You need a specific group of people to play together in order to actually make it funny and keeping the energy throughout the entire thing.

After a bit later, everyone has a tendency of pandering to the audience and repeat jokes. They managed to beat jokes to the ground faster than Tiktok AND Twitter.

Dont get me started with DreamTeam being in there. They're funny in thier own rights but the shipping jokes get so unfunny so quick and they dont know how bounce off of others well. The only exception to this is when Quackity, Velvet, and Ant were playing with Sapnap and Dream. And thats because they decided to mess with the straight white guys into accidently saying offensive shit and seeing those two suffer with trying tiptoe around was so amusing

Whats something about the smp fandom thay makes you sad

This doesnt get me sad, just frustrated and its mostly towards dsmptok and dsmptwt but sometimes this fandom doesnt fucking know how to analyze characters. Like when everyone jumped on Tubbo on being the bad guy when he was a kid trying to use old tatics that knows that worked before and stand up for himself

How when one person decides to do something that they believe is right, everyone just throws the term villian arc around

When one person does one good thing the suddenly everyone accepts into them being good and not ever looking into it.

For fucks sakes, I saw people keep saying that Quackity was turning into Dream or Wilbur and I just sat there being confused on how they conntected those dots that were in different books.

Its so frustrating to read through. But here on dsmpblr, you guys actually understand character analysis, are able to critique them and able to love whoever you enjoy.

Another thing is how this fanbase really puts everyone on a pedestal or objectify them. Just completely forgetting that they're human and treat the streamer as a character. Like, yeah they're playing up a persona whenever they're making content but theres a difference and you shouldn't hold them up like that.

You cant use the argument of "They're young, they dont know any better", when I first entered my first fandom (I was like 11/12), I fully understood that theres a boundary between me and the creator. What they are on screen is a persona but they're still human and I should treat them as such. Its just something that bugs me and its unnerving to see whenever people start getting wierd about it

Final bit is just how the twitch chat acts. They all force the streamer to follow the 'main' plot of it being Tommy or Techno or whoever the fandom chooses to have a favorite, completely ignoring the fact that they are their own character. No one wants to meta game because where is the fun in that but the fucking chat gets so annoying when the streamer goes against fanfavorite of the week. It drains the fun of it being multiple pov's and different characters.

When Slimecicle was barely starting stream I saw so many people spam "Go with Ranboo" and not let him even get into lore first. I hated that I knew it was coming but it was still so fucking frustrating seeing them try to boss him around. Please just let people live outside of the 'main' plot, not everything revolves around your favorites. Now shut the fuck up and let them play

What about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

The people that create art, animatics, theories, playlist, or write oneshots

All of you creators are great and deserve so much more respect then what the fandom gives you because jesus fucking christ they're all so fucking rude. You guys are the ones that are carrying this fandom on your backs and I fucking respect yall for that

________________

Time for da spead: @nixavia @dambette404 and @mocha-is-lost yall dont need to join.....unless😳😳😳

[rubisaurus98]

.......will u stab me if i say lugina

No, I am not going to stab you, but I did write a lot of raw opinions and not all of them are pleasant. Just a forewarning.

Why I like them: I dunno, I guess his sword’s got a nifty ability and he’s memeable with him being the most asshole character, yet being the victim of unfortunate funny inconveniences like the boulders and shit. I also like how we develop him, if that counts.

Why I don’t: I swear, I could write at minimum a 2-page paper as to why Lugina Beil’s raw canon character genuinely frustrates the hell out of me. A lot of it being more directed at how he’s written and the implications of the world he’s written into and how it reacts to him rather than about him, the fictional character, if that makes sense. A lot of missed potential if I were to compare him to other characters of other series who started out similar to him, but developed more noticeably for the better over the course of their own plots. Like, the development of a story-prominent heroic-aligned selfish asshole character into someone who isn’t afraid to show he cares about his comrades and will lay down his life for them, yet still retains a certain “edge” to him is such a tried-and-true method to me when it comes to development satisfaction in my experience, that to see it not happen to a certain effect/extent is whiplash. The best comparisons that I can think of at them moment are like, Gajeel Redfox and Laxus Dreyar from Fairy Tail and Jean Kirstein from AoT. I’m serious, like, read up on them, then compare them to Lugina. Gajeel’s even a father-to-be in Fairy Tail rn, and he’s both ecstatic and very protective of his partner. I know I keep comparing Lugina to other characters of other series with their own developments, but still, like, I could also name a bunch of conjectures as to why Lugina doesn’t seem to go down a similar path. In short, now that it seems his tale is finished without so much as a follow-up, I dislike how the writers wrote Lugina more than Lugina the character himself.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Lugina and BF1 Summoner vs Gazarva at the end of BF1.

Favorite season/movie: I liked him best during Arcs 2 and 3. More Arc 3.

Favorite line: “ [Liomerg] wasn't just talking about physical strength, he meant mental strength as well... Basically the only thing holding [Karl] back is himself. For all that he tries to handle things himself without depending on others, he doesn't have the resolve to see it through on his own. You call that kindness? That's just weakness!”--Estria, area after Shusui is killed by Mora. An “asshole’s got a point” moment.

Favorite outfit: BF2 Armor and that picnic art where he’s hogging all the spaghetti and Seria’s kicking him in the head for it. You know the one.

OTP: Really, it’s only with OCs, or in My Verse, where I flesh things out considerably between him and Yurika. If Alim bothered to fill in more about his actual relationship with Yurika, I could’ve actually put them here. I also ship him with Unlearning Toxic Masculinity, Some Fucking Therapy, and Having Better Character Development Based Of Other Examples I Know From Heroic-Aligned Characters Who Started Out Similar To Him, but we can’t have nice things in this fandom. Maybe him and Bertz if Bertz weren’t closeted or whatever his deal with Lugina is.

Brotp: Deadass, I don’t know. Maybe Karl post-BF1?

Head Canon: I still think he whittles wood as a hobby and one of his best projects is a full-scale replica of Sky Harbinger. And that he wholeheartedly and openly enjoys sea shanties. Oh, and that he definitely still invited BF1 Summoner and Tilith to his wedding. Hell, he explicitly said they had to come because no fucking way those two are gonna miss out on this. Plus, Tilith wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if he didn’t.

Unpopular opinion: I’ve said some piece of this in the one I did for Sasha, but wait! There’s more! And this is more of a general statement, but I really do think that there’s a lot left out/missing/glossed over in terms of BF2′s writing that would make things a lot more well-rounded. Plus, I think I’ve also already said some things that belong here under “Why I Don’t”. Also, only reason why Alim had Lugina be the only main cast member to start a family other than to show that he’s “developed for the better over 20 years” is because they made Karl and Paris still horny for BF1 Summoner and Seria...Seria, idk about. Probably applying the “No Guy Wants an Amazon” trope with her.

A wish: That Alim didn’t bull-rush Brave Frontier 2 and actually took efficient time to develop the story more so it’d have a longer shelf life? Then we’d at least be able to hopefully see more of the cast as a whole, and hopefully actually develop instead of what was probably squishing everything down and throwing in everything no matter how developed it was? Because BF2 seems more like an Afterword that’s trying to be a proper sequel. I’d wish for more between the games development, too and that Alim isn’t done working with Lugina and the rest of them.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Some implication/confirmation/allusion that Lugina cradle-robbed Yurika; any indication that there’s something off about their relationship beyond what’s traditionally considered healthy/normal married couple behavior plus what we’ve been given.

5 words to best describe them: Wish he was written better.

My nickname for them: Rat Man/Bastard. Potato Bastard.

[junhyukiscute]

to all the boys i’ve loved before (junhyuk route)

thank you so much for 300+ followers!! once i finish this series, is there anything else you guys wanna see from mcnd? <3

so you’ve chosen bang junhyuk’s route!! sorry for being inactive.. i’m lazy uwu but!! i felt like junhyuk would be a weird tsundere for some reason.. i’m so happy that we have so many people who love mcnd here!! this is a continuation from to all the boys i’ve loved before (mcnd ot5 x reader)

dear junhyuk,

or should i say win? haha, it’s kind of funny that you go by that name sometimes, but it’s cute. hey, remember our first encounter? you came up to me so shyly and asked if i could be your muse for your next art project. how could i have said no to that face you made? it was after getting to know you, that i fell for you. we got along surprisingly really well. i didn’t know that you’d like horror movies, considering you almost cried when i scared you at your locker lol. watching it 2 in theaters with you was a blast (did you really hold my hand to make sure i wouldn’t get scared? it feels like the opposite). since you’ll never even get this letter, i just wanted to say that you really brought a sense of home to me, and i want to thank you for all the good memories we had shared together. if there’s a time when i can tell you how i truly felt, that’d be when pigs fly. but anyways, liking you was like the fall day we met; warm and comfortable. thank you, winnie junhyuk.

love, (y/n)

you wiped your sweaty palms on your uniform was you stood awkwardly at the tennis courts. literally, you were the only one there who wasn’t doing anything. you stuck out like a sore thumb with your uniform. ignoring the glances from others, you jumped when a pale hand tapped your shoulder. seeing the bunny boy had made you sigh in relief.

“you came,” junhyuk smiled, almost sounding like he didn’t believe it. your cheeks suddenly felt hot as you looked at his handsome figure- he made the ugly uniform seem designed with his visuals- before turning your head the other way in hopes of cooling down your face.

“yeah,” your voice came out in an oddly high pitched tone, “why wouldn’t i?”

“well i heard that you were invited to minjae-hyung’s football game,” he replied.

you turned your head around to face him so quickly it almost gave you whiplash. “you knew?!” you gaped.

“mhm, i overheard my classmates talk about it. i thought you would’ve ditched me for him since he’s cooler than me,” junhyuk pouted. you didn’t know if it was on purpose but it was so adorable. you let his words sink in for a bit and couldn’t help the next comment.

“no way, you’re jealous? why would i ditch the little boy who cried when pennywise came out?” you cheekily said while pinching his cheek.

junhyuk stopped functioning for a minute as he recalled the embarrassing moment. “ah, forget i even said anything. the only thing that matters was that you came, so let’s go,” he coughed out before grabbing your hand from his cheek and tugging to away from the tennis courts.

“hey, where are we going? i thought we were gonna talk this out?” you asked while looking at junhyuk’s hand that clasped over yours.

“i wanted to show something to you, i hope you don’t mind,” he replied vaguely.

“... i hope it’s not a dead body,” you said. junhyuk gave you a funny look as you threw your head back and laughed. unknowingst to you, junhyuk had on a fond smile as he looked ahead. you continued to eye the back of his red head.

“pretty,” he mumbled. “anyways, it’s not a dead body for your information, to clear up any misunderstandings. if anything, itd be the other way around. you’re really weird.”

as he started to slow down, the grip on your hand only tightened, as if it was to show he was nervous and needed reassurance. you squeezed back.

“here we are,” junhyuk said, breaking the small silence as you guys entered the school. walking down the corridor, you soon arrived at the art hall, where an art competition/exhibit had taken place. “i wanted to take you to the show but with the timing and everything, i couldn’t find a way. luckily it’s still here, so please bear with me,” junhyuk rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with his free hand. 

you awed at all of the amazing art from the students as he continued to walk down the long hall. “man, imagine being able to draw, i could never,” you joked, “say, are any of your art works here, junhyuk?”

“...” was all that was given. you puffed your cheeks at the response as junhyuk’s hand started to get clammy.

“bro, you good?” you asked once more. 

you saw junhyuk’s adam apple move before he turned to look to you, “yeah. before i show you though, can you close your eyes?” you must’ve given an interesting facial expression as junhyuk chuckled with his deep voice. he gave a neevous smile before stopping. “just trust me, please?”

you complied and closed your eyes. junhyuk slowly let go of your hand and you missed the warmth of it. you raised a brow before you felt two calloused hands covering your eyes. “junhyuk?”

“just keep walking straight. we’re almost there,” he said into your ear. it kind of tickled and you got goosebumps, junhyuk just smirked at the reaction you gave. after a few moments, you guys stopped again. junhyuk let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in before letting his hands fall down to his sides. “open your eyes, (y/n).”

with a fluttering heart you opened your eyes and saw a pedestal. you slowly looked up and saw on a plate, “my muse” by bang junhyuk with a 1st place medal next to it. continuing, your eyes traveled up to see a painted portrait of you smiling with flower petals fluttering around. your mouth gaped as you saw the intricate details drawn in, and in the bottom corner in small, messy handwriting wrote, “to you who blooms more beautiful than any flower”. 

you turned your head to junhyuk, “this- you- what?” you said very idiotically.

he smiled and looked at you shyly, “do you like it?”

you smiled back, “i love it, junhyuk!” you paused, “but, really, ‘my muse’? couldn’t think of anything more creative?,” you joked.

he rolled his eyes playfully, “can’t you read the mood right now?”

“well i would if this didn’t seem like some kind of eighth grade syndrome comment,” you fired back, “i think you’ve been watching too many k-dramas, bro.”

he dramatically holds his hands on his heart and acts as if he’s been shot, “after all the hard work i’ve done to show you this, i’ve been bro-zoned?! what am i, a simp?” 

you laughed again at junhyuk’s goofiness before playfully punching his chest, “why don’t you just tell me straightforwardly of what you wanna say instead of subtly through a painting then, junhyuk?”

junhyuk stares at you for a moment, engulfing himself in your features before putting on a small front. you didn’t miss the way his breath hitched before he continued, “(y/n), i really like you... would you want to vincent van gogh out with me?”

his serious face caused you to break out into giggles, him following along. “and you tell me to read the room?” as the giggles slowly surfaced, you cleared your throat, “junhyuk, i really like you too...” he raised an eyebrow to tell you to continue. “if i were an art critique, i’d give you a ravishing review,” you choked out laughing. 

“you’re so lame,” junhyuk said as he laughed. he brought you into a warm embrace as he held you close to him. you leaned your head into the alluring hug as you heard his heart beat rapidly. 

the sweet moment continued with you two hugging each other in the middle of the empty hallway before you slightly pushed him away. he let out a little hum as you made eye contact, “what is it?” he softly spoke.

you have a little grin, “you must be an artist because i found myself drawn to you.”

junhyuk groaned as you cackled, “why are you like this?” he complained, closing his eyes, “what a dork.”

“your dork,” you fired back.

he sighed and smiled, “yeah, my dork,” before slowing closing the gap between your guys’ lips.

[savrenim]

oneemotionperday replied to your post “oneemotionperday replied to your post “trying desperately not to let...”

Omg you followed me back sjkalshflakasjsns I'm SCREAMING I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND YOUR WRITING

aaaah oh my gods I am just a Simple Person you show up in my notifs a fair amount and scrolling through your blog was an ‘oh huh this seems like the sort of content I like on my dash’ and that about fully informs my tumblr habits, tbh if you’ve commented on things before I’m almost surprised I didn’t follow you earlier

answering everything in one -- it is.... fairly unlikely that an actual fic will happen, a short one-shot that gets posted to tumblr very well might because the idea is just so funny but it’s also.... it almost feels like the idea needs no more building on? like just. the scenes are there and so funny to imagine like the whiplash of Andy going “oh gods do I need to take care of these immortals too” when she meets Isaac and Miria and then learning nope there’s a whole immortal Mafia that has it under control

(like alt if the story was to start in an action setting and not a comedic setting of running into Isaac and Miria when both on a heist, there would be a dramatic shootout between Andy & Co and Everyone Dies and then there’s a realization on both sides of “OH FUCK, IMMORTALS” and then a realization that the rules work slightly differently? because just “all of our rules apply to ourselves and see you as immortal, but do not apply to you” is such a cool weird setup.) 

(like also the clear and obvious world background to that one is just “two different demons gave out immortality a bit differently” that at least writes itself)

the other, like, HILARIOUS scene in my mind is Czes runs into one of them, tries to introduce himself as Thomas, introduces himself as Czes, and then immediately goes “who the fuck made you immortal bc we thought we knew everyone who had access to that information” and Andy & Co go “oh my GODS IS A CHILD IMMORTAL IS THERE NO MERCY IN THIS WORLD” (and then immediately “...wait....more immortals......” “actually um hey funny question has anyone else in this group had a really funny dream about a train that then just turned into a series of dreams about increasingly improbable robberies because I wrote it off on account of it being too ridiculous but, uh....”)

there are possibilities just I don’t think enough possibilities and enough of a plot to draw me away from all my active writing projects all of them

also can I rant for a moment about how much I love magic rules, the current set of magic rules that I think I’ve maybe got the answer on both counts namely “can immortals get haircuts”

bc in Baccano it is pretty strongly implied that nah you’re frozen exactly the way that you are when you took the elixir, as well as we have evidence from Czes and acid and fire and what-not still having hair that nah hair is also a thing that follows the same regeneration rules. EXCEPT. if you look at screenshots of Huey on the ship and Huey in the 1900s, Huey has clearly gotten a haircut in between. which leads me to my theory that is not my theory it was my friend’s but it’s gotta be the answer: your hair does not grow and it does re-attach and if you want a haircut what you gotta do is lock your hair in a box really quickly so it cannot physically re-attach itself to your body and is just stuck in the box 

which also leads to my hilarious idea of “okay but if you want your friends to find you, you should give all your friends little clippings of your hair that they can put in clear boxes and then they will have little hair compasses that will always point towards you”

anyways. hair works differently in The Old Guard!!!!

because first of all Andy clearly has had a haircut in the modern day vs centuries ago. so they can cut hair!!!! but also nobody’s hair looks different in the movies after explosions / gunshots / etc. specifically, when Nile is shot all the way through the head in the first scene with Andy, I’m fairly certain that the blood marks on the back of her head indicated that the bullet had gone all the way through, and, given their placement, should have totally messed with two of her braids, but her hair was perfect and not ripped up afterwards

so clearly something interesting is going on in the hair department there. my theory is that their regeneration has to do with being hurt, and that their bodies will reset back to what they were just before they got hurt, which means that if your hair is harmed in the line of duty dying it will return to the perfect state it was in before, but if you’re just chill and want a haircut it’ll be fine you can get a haircut 

can you tell if I was the evil scientist in charge of interrogating the captured immortals I 100% wouldn’t have bothered doing evil things like stealing samples of their DNA in painful ways etc etc I just would have sat them down in very comfortable chairs and had a long conversation with them about exactly how their hair worked because it’s Very Important, Inquiring Minds Need To Know, what are the rules of your immortality CAN YOU GET HAIRCUTS

[sweetteaanddragons]

Implausible Character Interpretations: Maglor’s Wife

You might be wondering how it’s possible to have an implausible interpretation of her since literally all we know about her is that at some point in her life, she considered it a good idea to marry Maglor. Just about anything short of her being Sauron in disguise is plausible.

Except . . .

What if the wife of the greatest musician of the Noldor was tone deaf?

I don’t even know if elves can be tone deaf, but the idea interested me, so I ran with it.

A couple of notes: I am not tone deaf, and my knowledge of the subject consists of some quick research. It’s entirely possible I got some things wrong in this fic. It’s also important to note that as I wrote this, it occurred to me that in a world literally brought into being by music where evil was introduced by discord in that music, being tone deaf might be made into a much bigger deal than it is in our culture. Consequently, some characters direct a lot of negativity towards her and her disability in this fic and make some inaccurate assumptions about just what the problem is.

Sometimes Aranel wished she’d been born with a horrible facial deformity. If she’d been born like that, everyone would have sorted out their feelings about it by the time she was old enough to care, and every time she met someone new, everything would be in the open right away. There would be no hopeful, lingering days and months where she tried to hide it before the rumors inevitably hit them.

But she looked perfectly normal. Better than normal even, the sort of looks that meant she’d overheard more than one person say, “Such a shame that such a pretty girl should . . . Well, you know.”

The worst times were when the other person didn’t know, and she got to hear the whole thing poured out all over again.

The first hint that something was wrong was when her older sister tried to teach her children’s songs. She’d copied the hand motions enthusiastically and repeated back the words. The childish stumbling over some of those words wasn’t the problem. 

Her complete failure to be anything approaching in tune was.

Not much of a problem. Not yet. She was still such a small child, after all, and even among elves, not everyone sang all that well, comparatively. 

But the older she got, the more obvious it was. Not only could she not sing well, she couldn’t hear where she was going wrong. Or, in many cases, what the big fuss was over a piece of music in the first place.

The lyrics were pretty, but the rest . . . Well, there was no accounting for taste, she supposed, but apparently that wasn’t the problem.

She was.

Her parents dragged her to healer after healer, but there was nothing anything of them could do.

“There’s nothing wrong with her ears,” the last one said. “If there was, perhaps I could do more. The problem lies either in the mind or - “ He cut himself off.

Her mother’s brow wrinkled. “Or where?”

Her father had already caught on. “Or her fëa,” he said grimly.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” her mother snapped and turned to the healer for confirmation.

The healer looked away.

If Aranel was at first confused about what her fëa had to do with anything, the other children were happy to tell her, just as their parents were happy to whisper when they thought Aranel couldn’t hear. 

Eru Iluvatar had sung three great themes, and Melkor had sewn discord by disrupting them. Music had sung the universe into existence; by music their people still shaped the world. 

But she couldn’t hear the music. When she sang, all she ever produced was an inharmonious discord.

Any elf could sing disunity, but only she seemed destined to it.

It would be one thing if she was fully deaf. There were a few elves like that, who had suffered injury across the great sea before they came and had found no healing even here. To lose a sense entirely was unfortunate, but it was no real reflection on your character.

But to be able to hear everything else - gossip and taunts and every cruel name - to be able to say anything else - anything but the greatest and holiest of sounds -

That was a deeper flaw. Her parents never said it, but she could see it in their faces. Besides, what need was there for them to say it when everyone else already had?

Everyone but her sister. Thiriel said that it wasn’t her fault. Thiriel said that it was pretty obviously not Aranel’s character that was being shown to be flawed here. Thiriel said she would box the ears of the next person who said anything so hard that they wouldn’t be hearing anything but ringing for weeks.

Thiriel said she was moving to Tirion now that she was through apprenticing to be a seamstress, and did Aranel want to come with her?

In Tirion, no one would know. In Tirion, maybe she could hide it. In Tirion -

No one had wanted to let Aranel apprentice under them. She declared herself Thiriel’s assistant and went.

Thiriel needed a few more years of experience before she could take on an official apprentice, but Aranel learned under her anyway. Sewing was purely visual. Sewing let her make something beautiful. 

Sewing was much better than singing in her firm opinion. She liked all of it - plotting out a project, making up a set of clothes, embroidering designs - but her favorite part was working on a project with her sister, no words between them needed, as they made something beautiful together, no discord in sight.

Making clothes for one of Prince Macalaure’s performances at a festival was a great honor. Thiriel was thrilled.

For her sister’s sake, Aranel tried to be.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the prince. He was perfectly courteous and charming every time he came in, from the initial order to the final fitting.

It was just that in quiet moments he liked to hum or sing a snatch of a song to himself, and Thiriel and their new shop assistant always complimented him afterward and she . . . Well, it was probably better that she keep her mouth shut because she lied terribly, and the best she could honestly say was that it was nice, probably.

Everyone said he was the greatest singer of the Noldor and possibly the greatest elvish singer in Aman. She had no idea if that was objectively true or because he was a prince, though judging by some of the more gushing things the new assistant had said, he was at least very good.

Or maybe the gushing was just because he was handsome.

Because he was. Handsome, that is. He was definitely that.

Particularly when he smiled. 

So she kept her mouth shut about his singing, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was perfectly happy to talk about her work instead, or, when she prompted him, the more visual aspects of his performance.

She made the mistake of telling him that it sounded wonderful, and that she was sure his performance would go very well. Surely, she had thought, she couldn’t go wrong with that.

Except she did, because he then promptly invited to her and her sister to some special box that was set aside as thanks for all the work they’d done, and he smiled when he said he couldn’t wait to see what she thought after the performance.

Her smile was frozen as she agreed.

She got through it. Somehow. Mainly by giving genuine compliments on the way he’d sung the flowered vines twined around the columns on the stage through the stages of life and then by giving paraphrased compliments she’d overheard other people saying in the interlude between the performance and him managing to make his way up to the box.

Unfortunately, that started a pattern. He’d liked their work, apparently, so he started coming to them for all his performances and then, in addition to their payment, getting them seats.

It wasn’t the work that was the problem. It wasn’t even Macalaure that was the real problem. He was sweet and funny and generous and never at all concerned with their rare mistakes. And his smile . . .

Well, if his music was half as good as his smile, she could see why everyone liked it so much.

It was just after the performances. He wanted her opinion. Every time. Specifically hers, not just Thiriel’s. 

If he had just been fishing for compliments, it would have been one thing. A slightly vain thing, admittedly, but something she could bluff her way through.

But he always pressed her for her genuine opinion. Did she like this piece better or that one? Was there too much emotional whiplash between the two songs he’d put back to back? Next time he performed the new song he’d written, should he try it like this instead?

It was flattering that he cared for her opinion. She just didn’t think he wanted to hear the truth of what it all sounded like to her.

So she focused on the lyrics and the visuals when she could, relied on Thiriel’s hasty whispers when she couldn’t, and on the occasions when Thiriel wasn’t there and she was on her own, bluffed like crazy for the rest.

It might have worked indefinitely if three of his brothers hadn’t returned to the city, and he hadn’t given her a seat in the same box as those brothers at one of the performances. 

He introduced her to them before the show, giving them a very significant warning look as he did so. She wasn’t entirely sure what that was for, though given the stories she’d heard him tell about what they’d gotten up to as children, she might could guess.

“Aranel,” Curufinwe said thoughtfully. “I’ve heard that name before.”

“In a letter perhaps?” One half of the Ambarussa asked dryly.

“Or ten?” The other suggested brightly. 

Maglor glared. Aranel blinked.

Curufinwe waved this away. “Aside from there. With the slight familiarity of the face . . . I think I might have met your parents on the return journey. You aren’t Engol’s daughter by any chance, are you?”

Aranel felt the blood drain from her face. She could lie, she thought frantically, except - 

Except Macalaure already knew full well that she was. She’d introduced herself properly the first time he’d walked into the shop.

“We’re not . . . often in touch,” she said. He might not know. He might really only have noticed the resemblance. He might -

“Curufinwe,” Maglor warned.

He had the grace to look apologetic. “Family troubles are difficult. You have my sympathies. Still, it speaks well of your fondness for my brother that you keep coming to these anyway.”

“Curufinwe.”

One of the twins, curse them, asked, “What makes you say that?”

Curufinwe raised an eyebrow. “Well, I can’t imagine you see much other appeal in a musical performance,” he directed towards her. “Seeing as you can’t - “

In the split second she had left, Aranel pictured the look on Macalaure’s face when he learned how she’d deceived him. What would the greatest singer of the Noldor think when he learned she was incapable of grasping his music at all? 

She didn’t wait for Curufinwe to finish. She interrupted, so that at least she could be the one to spit out the hateful words. “Properly hear a single note due to some flaw in my fëa, yes. Excuse me.”

With all the dignity she could manage, she turned and marched out. 

As soon as she was out of the box, she broke into a dead run. 

Someone called after her.

She was not about to slow down.

It had been a night performance, so she was confident the shop would hold only her late working sister when she reached it. She slammed the door shut behind her and slid down to the ground as soon as she reached the shop. “I think I just lost us the prince’s custom.”

Thiriel was beside her side in an instant. “What happened? Did he try something?”

Try something? For a moment startled out of her misery, she could only blink up at her sister before shaking her head dismissively. “No, of course not, he - Well, I interrupted one of the other princes.”

“Given some of the stories he’s shared, I very much doubt he cares,” Thiriel said slowly.

The dreadful truth finally came out. “He knows,” she blurted out. “That I’m marred.”

Thiriel wrapped an arm tightly around her. “You are not marred,” she said firmly. “So what if you can’t sing? I can’t dance. Mother couldn’t sew. Father couldn’t tell a joke to save his life. We all have things we can’t do, and yours is no more important than any other.”

“But it’s music.”

“I don’t care,” Thiriel said. “And if Prince Macalaure is worth two thimbles, he won’t either.”

Aranel resisted the urge to remind her that by that estimation, there were very few people worth two thimbles in their lives.

The shop had barely opened the next morning when Macalaure walked in. Aranel resisted the urge to run to the backroom and instead just gripped the table she was sitting behind for support.

He looked uncertain. “About last night,” he began. 

“If it’s going to be a problem, I can assure you that Thiriel - “

“It’s not a problem,” he said immediately before smiling ruefully. “Well, it is a problem, but mainly because my entire courtship strategy revolved around impressing you with my music, and I’m still not quite sure what I have left to impress you with now that that’s out, but that speaks to my deficiencies, not yours.”

“Courtship?” she said blankly.

He saw the look on her face and groaned. “Yes,” he said. “And apparently without the music my strategy’s been even more lacking than I thought if that comes as a surprise to you. I’m sorry. I’d thought to impress you, and apparently I’ve just been proving myself an oblivious idiot instead.”

“The shows were impressive,” she protested. “You always - there’s always a visual element. I like that. And your lyrics are beautiful.”

He perked up. “Really?”

Her brain started working again. “But - courtship?” If she hadn’t already been sitting down, she would have had to then. “You can’t - I’m . . .  marred.”

His face softened. “They say that about my father too, you know. Because of - “ He looked away.

His grandmother. All of Tirion knew, and no one dared speak of it except in whispers. 

“Curufinwe would tell you he isn’t, but I say - So what if he is marred? So what if that makes us marred right along with him? So what if you are? The whole of Arda’s marred they say, so that means us right along with it. We get along as best we can anyway.” 

As best we can anyway. She liked that.

“So,” he said hesitantly. “If you’ll allow me to try again. My mother is displaying several new sculptures soon. Would you like to see them?”

“I would,” she said, smiling brightly as an almost painful relief mixing with joy. “I’d still like to come watch you perform though. I really did like them except for having to hide what I could hear.”

His answering smile was more beautiful than ever. “It would be my pleasure.”

[blame-canada]

Okay I kinda see you as the creek fan fic Queen and that's why i need to ask you this: CAN YOU RECOMMEND SOME CREEK FANFICS WHERE CRAIG IS JEALOUS

Hello anon! First of all, I’m very flattered you would give me such a prestigious title! Unfortunately I may disappoint, however, because I don’t know that I have many resources for specific tropes such as this. To help make up for my shortcomings, I’ve written a little something that maybe would scratch that itch for ya. I hope you like it! The working title of this drabble was, verbatim: ‘why dont you laugh at MY memes like that?’

Robots Don’t Get Jealous - Creek

Tweek was giggling at his phone for the third time in fifteen minutes, and Craig’s phone was still in his pocket, untouched for over an hour. The way of the world was fucking amiss.

It had seemed innocent enough at first; assigned project partners weren’t exactly uncommon, and especially not for their project-happy history teacher. Craig had forced his mom out to the store for poster board enough times that her patience was stretched thin and her finger was metaphorically poised over her mouse, just waiting to hit send on a lengthy, whiny email about how ‘making posters all the time doesn’t count as an education, Ms. Burris.’ Craig really didn’t mind the posters. They were an easy grade and an easy project to half-ass and pull together the night before.

That was, until now. Craig hated posters now. They were the worst. The worst!

Tweek’s phone went off, and with a few taps at his screen, he giggled again. This honestly counted as a declaration of war.

“Who are you talking to?” Craig chanced, well aware of the risk but taking it anyway, and Tweek huffed, rolling his eyes and shutting his phone off to let it slide between his side and the arm of the couch.

“I’m just talking to Butters,” he said, shooting Craig an exasperated look as if he wasn’t totally in the right for being confused and irritated.

“How’s your project?” he asked, and Tweek’s eyes narrowed, suspicious and judgmental.

“It’s fine, thanks.” Tweek paused. Craig stole that moment to look busy with his phone, to fight the embarrassment his boyfriend was so rudely imposing on him. It was a valid question. The odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, though, it wasn’t leaving, and in fact it felt moments from erupting from his mouth like a garbage volcano built up for weeks egged on by bullshit giggling and texting.

“Did he come up with a funny joke about the Russian Revolution?”

Tweek finally snapped and smacked at Craig’s leg, eliciting a short complaint of pain while he cried, “Oh, calm down, will you?” He glared and crossed his arms. “I’m not”—he shuddered—”I’m not fucking cheating on you with Butters.”

“I didn’t say that,” Craig said, rubbing at the spot on his thigh where Tweek’s hand had slapped it in the unsexiest way, “I asked about your project.”

“Yes, which I am doing with Butters, who you a-are—are currently jealous of.”

Craig snorted. “Jealous. Right.”

“Just admit it Craig, you’re jealous!”

It was Craig’s turn to roll his eyes. “Uh huh. As if I have the capacity for such a complex human emotion. Jealousy isn’t in my program.” Tweek smacked him again.

“Ow, hey!”

“Robots don’t feel pain, you ass,” Tweek hissed. “You can’t use that line and not commit to the role!” By the time he reached the end of his sentence, though, he was smiling, and he started full-blown laughing as Craig wormed his fingers past his blocking grip to grab at his ticklish sides. It was the easiest way to shut down an argument. Craig was a master at shutting down arguments.

Just to rub salt in the wound, they paused their scuffle at the sound and feeling of Tweek’s phone vibrating behind him between the couch cushions, and then all of Craig’s irritation came rushing back.

“I’m gonna…” Tweek began, slowly and carefully, “I’m gonna get that.”

Craig heaved a sigh and crawled back off his boyfriend, crossing his legs on the couch and keeping enough distance between them that their knees didn’t even touch. Take that. Tweek fished for his phone between plush cushions and plucked his phone from them, and sure enough, three taps later, he was laughing, albeit silently, again.

“What the fuck is so funny anyway?” Craig snapped, and Tweek glared at him, his mood hopping from happy to angry so quickly it nearly gave him whiplash.

“They’re just memes, friends share memes, Craig,” Tweek whined, clearly fatigued, but Craig didn’t really care. This was extremely important, and required his attention. Tweek may not have realized it, but Craig and Butters were in a turf war, with Tweek as the grand prize shining in the center of the court. At least, that was how Craig was visualizing it.

“Didn’t know you were friends,” Craig grumbled.

“Am I not allowed to have friends?” Tweek asked, his voice raising slightly, and Craig saw a tiny red flag go up in the back of his mind that told him to lay off.

He historically did not listen to the red flags very well.

“Not ones like that,” he muttered, his gaze downcast, and Tweek fell surprisingly silent. Funny, as he’d expected some sort of outburst from him for his ridiculousness which he would never admit to, ever. Then Tweek’s hands took both sides of his jaw and turned his head to face him. Tweek’s eyes were intense in this afternoon light.

“Craig,” Tweek said, and Craig blinked, the power behind the declaration of his name always capable of bringing him to his metaphorical knees. “I love you.” Craig blinked again, because every time Tweek said that, fireworks exploded behind his eyes too, like a wild backdrop of color dipped in peridot green. Tweek commanded the space around him so that it faded to nothing, and there was nothing else that existed in this room but the two of them, with Craig’s face held in Tweek’s gentle hands and his heart still pounding. “We’re just friends. I got partnered up with him, a-and he’s super nice, and likes sending me stupid cat memes. I don’t think you should feel threatened by Leo of all… of all people, honestly.”

Craig blinked two more times, measuring the time by the beat of his eyelashes, and said, “The fuck are you calling him by his real-ass name for?”

Tweek groaned, and Craig acquainted himself once more with square one.

[lindaliukas]

Year in review 2017

Fourth year in review. This year I did more work with schools and was excited to see school districts start to embrace my work.  Ran roughly 400 kilometres around the world and read 60 books. Flew over 120 flights and did over 60 talks. Published the third book in Ruby series. 

2017 was a weird year. On the other hand I felt like I found professionally the guidelines I had been looking for: maximising freedom, maximising curiosity. Early on in the year I stumbled upon Robert Irwin who “decided to step in to his own curiosity” and knew I had found what I had been looking for. On the other hand I experienced first hand how easy it is to tip out of balance and ignore the things closest & dearest to you, resulting in a big mess.  

Here are 2016, 2015 and 2014. And here is 2017: 

January

Changed the year in Långvik with minimal hassle, maximum friends. Moved offices to Maria, again in snow & cold. Enjoyed the quiet days after Christmas and found kindred spirits. Met Andre Agassi at NBF (whose book I loved a few years back), but was most impressed with his charismatic manager who told me war stories about building schools. 

Saw Arrival and Jackie. Loved this Tumblr story on Harry Potter and the CS classics list. Celebrated Nils' and Saku's birthdays. Ate more veggies and bought a Vitamix!  

Went to Hawaii with Ville and enjoyed St. Regis & hiking. Kauai was green and lush and beautiful. Rode around the island to get one of my magic books of the year: Seeing is Forgetting (more on that later).

Washed my passport in the washing machine. It was a bad year for passports: I lost all together three. 

Read: 

The Girls.

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics. (Ended up studying a lot more physics this year than I originally anticipated!)

Juniper. From this Radiolab episode. If I were to start a tech company it would be in this space. 

Where Wizards Stay Up Late.

Tale of Shikanako #1. I forgot to read the next parts, need to put it in my reading queue. 

Whiplash.

Mothers. 

The Gene.

February

Spent most of the month in US: New York, DC and Boston. Visited DC public schools, took mom to see Bowery Poetry Club in NY. Had really wonderful, snowy, concentrated days in Boston and got to hang out with Jie & rest of LLK team + dinners with friends.

Atlantic wrote about Ruby & the philosophy behind it!

Did my first STEM Institute with Roxanne and the CS4All team of New York Department of Education. Was exhausted, happy, loved the thorough feedback and can’t wait to run the course again. 

Left my laptop in an Uber in Boston and ran around like crazy trying to get it to New York in time. Bought a new iPad and started experimenting with tools like Astropad, Apple Pencil and PS Sketch that would later in the year replace my old system of drawing. 

Wined and dined with Henrietta in a very random evening. 

Read: 

Beloved. Loved this. More Toni Morrison for 2018. 

Association of Small Bombs.

Seeing is Forgetting the Name of The Thing One Sees. On of the three most important books of the year. Oh Robert Irwin. His entire doctorate acceptance speech:"All I want say is that the wonder is still there." Walks away.

The End of Absence. 

The Underground Railroad.

March

Went to Melbourne for a few days to speak at NGV Victoria (and Australian TV!). Started my David Hockney obsession that would last the entire year.

Settled into New York life and the TED residency. Started new routines with hip hop yoga! Did an Arduino workshop at School for Poetic Computation and enjoyed feeling like a beginner. 

Worked a lot on the Internet book, reading a ton of the original research papers of WWW and Internet. Fell in love with Fermat’s library. Spent a lot of time thinking how to structure the book between software, hardware and culture of Internet. 

Visited Switzerland shortly and was chosen as one of the 50 most inspiring women in tech in Europe. 

Saw two plays: Tove Jansson in Helsinki with Jemina and an immersive piece Strangest in New York with Paul. Had a really fun, magic, sparkly afternoon with Hugo in Whitney Biennal. 

Read

Small Pieces Loosely Joined.

The Vegetarian.

Homo Deus.

Commonwealth

April

Tried to balance living in two continents. Wrote a lot, but also saw a lot of friends. Went to see Puerto Rican / New York Poetry Slam with Roxanne and loved it. Brunched with Jason & Sara, went flywheeling with Zach, had dinner at Farhad’s insane apartment and cooked for Otto. 

Saw Ghost in Shell and a live version of Israel Story (and got many ideas for my own performances). Backed Climate Change Coloring Book, which was one of my favorite Kickstarter projects of the year.  

Turned 31 in New York. Got to go to Sesame Workshop!!

Got a new, beautiful goddaughter. 

A quick trip to Barcelona to see Hola Ruby out in Spanish & Catalanian. Had a magical midnight dinner with a locals and visited one of the most eclectic schools. Continued working on Internet (and concept stage boardgame). 

Tried to read David Foster Wallace, but gave up. This year maybe.. Still, always, Björk. 

Read

The Handmaid's tale

A Tale of Love and Darkness. Enjoyed this one a lot. 

In the Woods

May

The spring was starting to catch up and felt mostly jetlagged for the entire month. On the upside: lots of wonderful encounters with new and old friends. Saw Mikito for the first time in a long time and talked art & technology (TBC!!). Met Fawn! And Karen! Had breakfast with Yon & left with the biggest grin. Celebrated Eve’s engagement. 

Celebrated Vappu in Central Park and had one of those funny, warm, random New York dinners where there just happens to be some of the most celebrated musicians, cooks & tech people of Nordics all under same roof. 

Saw the Commes des Garcons show in Met and felt Rei Kawakubo’s personality. Saw Georgia O’Keeffe (+Marimekko, Finnish pride!) exhibition with Tiina (and later read this great article). Organised Computing & Stories summit in SFPC and felt the future of computing. 

Did another PD on Internet with the NYC teachers (and tested ideas for the book, win-win!) and also in Sweden for Swedish teachers. 

Fell in love with China. 你好 Ruby! Hello Ruby won the prestigious DIA Award by China Academy of Art out of 2700 applicants. My visit in Hangzhou was short, but can’t wait to go back and learn more about the country and it’s technology & education culture. Here are a few stories: 1, 2, 3

Read

Startup.

The Wangs vs. the World

See you in the cosmos.

Americanah. LOVED this. 

June

Ended TED Residency with a talk. Really wish I would have prioritised the residency more, but luckily the community doesn’t come with an expiration date. 

Took my parents to Japan and was really excited to show them all the experiences I loved. Visited Kyoto & Osaka for the first time. 

Flew to Birmingham CAS conference. Miles and the UK computing organisations have inspired me a lot and I was glad to be able to give back. Loved being back in London for a few days and spending time in Kew Gardens with Minna and her family + seeing house of Minalima with Emma. Celebrated Tuula’s 60th. 

Worked too much. Had a familiar midsummer stretch with Ruby 3. Me & mom going through proofs at 4 AM in the morning. Decided to move the next deadline to May to avoid the summer panic. 

For most of the year my phone only had data service. Realised how much I hated being interrupted with calls. Ville had also sold his car, so we were for the first time in 5+ years a car free household. Felt like the future. 

Read

On China.

Seeing is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Sees. Finally finished. Best book I read all year. 

American War.

July

Had my traditional summer vacation month and lived it vigourously by going to the dentist, eye doctor, doctor.. Oh well, ran and swam also and enjoyed the cold Nordic summer by biking in the soaking rain. Got Nintendo Switch and played hours and hours of Zelda. 

Visited Berlin and danced my worries away with girlfriends. One of the most important weekends of the years with big consequences. 

Celebrated the wedding of Pete & Liisa, met Juha 6/5, watered plants with little Isla, saw Valerian and had lunch with Miki with omnious predictions. 

Did a biking trip to Kristo’s & Anna’s island with Ville and loved the archipelago and sense of summer childhoods. Visited the new Moominmuseum in Tampere and can warmly recommend it. Visited Meidän Festivaali, summer tradition. 

Found A16Z AI Playbook and got inspired for the next book - it’s really amazing how much good educational material is out there. Some of my favorite newsletters on the topic for the entire year were: ImportAI, Exponential View and Creative.AI

Read

Artificial Intelligence: What everyone needs to know.

The Thirst. My summer tradition with the Nesbo’s..

In Dialogue with Reggio Emilia. Reggio was a lot on my mind through the year.

Sweetbitter

New York 2140

The Thing About Jellyfish.

August

Had a lot of family problems and overall a very sad month. But was also much more gentle towards myself and had a very strong idea of persisting. Stark contrast to the PR stuff happening around same time. Talked to everyone and everywhere. Cried a lot. 

Third Ruby book came out in Finnish. The tetralogy is one step to being finished. I wanted to talk about the Internet, but everyone else still wants to talk about coding. Oh well. This was a nice, long talk about the book, although in Finnish. 

Spent a lot of energy making home feel like home. Hosted dinners,  spent a fun evening in Lonna, celebrated Flow weekend, had dinner in the Marimekko factory floor, went to the wedding of Johanna and Kalle. 

Did two really important things for myself: started seeing a therapist and  joined an all-girls running club. Monday evenings of track, hills and forests were the highlight of the week for the entire fall. Thanks Helsinki Core Trainers & Jarno. Went also orienteering for the first time in 20 years and found it very soothing. 

Favorite things of the month: Melissa Kaseman’s art project, Preschool Pocket Treasures and Young Explorers. 

Read

Rikinkeltainen taivas

The Idiot

The Sellout

Walkaway

September

Went to Copenhagen for Techfestival and enjoyed the small, weird, ambiguous, quality driven discussions. Felt fresh for a technology conference.

Worked on the English version of Internet book and started planning an illustration exhibition around Ruby with mom. Did some play testing at the English School.

Nelli had a masquerade party, dressed up as Alice in Wonderland and made a special dress! Celebrated Marjaana’s birthday in Lonna, ended up at an old friends apartment eating pizza at 7 AM. 

Organised a surprise birthday party for my sister together with her friends and baby shower to my cousin’s wife. Hung out with goddaughter on a crips autumn day. Enjoyed doing small things for others. 

Judged a hackathon at Marimekko and ended up doing my first machine learning project inspired by it! Found Liu Cixin’s books and mind exploded. 

Went to Amsterdam and did a teacher workshop. Walked alone around a lot. Month ended up in better news. 

Kept running. Kept reading this essay by Robert Macfarlane. Influenced my work a lot. 

Read: 

The Beautiful bureaucrat

The God of Small Things

When Marnie was there. Still haven't seen the movie!

Standard Deviation

Sophie's Choice

Sourdough. Loved this. Bought five immediately to giveaway. 

Three Body problem. One of the other important books/series of the year. 

A Mind at Play

River Town

October

Weird month. Mostly happy and relieved, but also way too much travel. I feel dizzy only reviewing what happened.. Was really happy to get a good review of the second Ruby book in US. The timelines of publishing really kill me. 

Ran the Sipoonkorpi Trail and admired the baby kitten of a friend. Had a 15 year old intern who was bold enough to apply! Met with a lot of school people. Was back in Berlin for a few days, fell in love with my German publisher and their worldview. 

Had pizza and watched Lady Gaga documentary with friends. Enjoyed this drawing from Aura. 

Did an insane around the world few weeks: started with David’s birthday party in Copenhagen, followed by a very hungover flight to South Korea. Ran the best run of the year at Namsan Trail in Seoul, hung out with friends old and new. Saw Hillary Clinton live! Bucket list. Flew to Wisconsin and met with very cool librarians (and woke up to the news I had won an award on future of culture in Finland!). Spent a day in New York: saw friends, did a book event at my favourite bookstore, ran in Central Park.. and met my biggest kidlit idol, Oliver Jeffers, accidentally!

Visited four Finnish cities and three Swedish ones in a week. Did a project for Swedish teachers and tried reading Ruby aloud på svenska. Sounded like moomintrollet, but whatever. Flew to Japan. 

Read: 

Hold me tight. 

Close to the Machine. This was like Patti Smith with computers. 

Dark Forest. 

Machine Learning: the new AI

Room of One's Own. Thousand times yes. 

Little Fires Everywhere. 

November

Went to Japan to accept the Rakuten Technology & Innovation award. Loved the other prize winners - among them an 80 year old app developer lady. Soaked for a rainy Sunday in onsen and visited the new Yayoi Kusama museum.

Went to Lapland with Ville. Enjoyed season's first skiing and started knitting again. Saw Tuntematon Sotilas movie. Dear friends got married and we got to be the witnesses. Met a new baby relative.

Very briefly visited Malmö and Oredev - wish I could have stayed longer. Flew to Miami and played Super Mario Odyssey almost entire flight. Got to visit an amazing school in Coconut Grove.

Finished Liu Cixin’s the Remembrance of Earth trilogy and a la Emily Dickinson: “I felt a cleaving in my mind / As if my brain had split; I tried to match it, seam by seam, / But could not make them fit.”

Went to Greece and had the warmest & most enthusiastic crowd. Hope next year will bring more collaborations. 

Thought a lot about this essay from Stephen Wolfram and this one from Cory Doctorow. 

Read

Forest Dark.

Stoner. This was the suprirse Ferrante of the year: kept popping up everywhere..

Draft No. 4: On the Writing Process. Loved this. 

Death's End.

The Obelisk Gate. 

The Fifth Season.

At the Existentialist Cafe. Took me almost a year to finish, but I can sense the reverberations.. 

December

I MET AL GORE. Everyone who knows me (or the 1.6 million people who watched the TED talk..) knows this was a huge deal, like a circle closing after 17 years. (The biggest daily of Finland also wrote a piece about the meeting on their economy pages. Teenage girls & their enthusiasm change the world <3). (Also, had lunch with Prince William, which on any other day would have been a huge deal, but all my excitement had already been used on Gore..). Slush was everything it promised: late from everything, random encounters, techno parties in the tunnels of Helsinki that went on until morning.  

Went to Australia, spent half of the trip with a flu and lost my bank card, passport, and a few other gadgets. Decided it was time for a vacation. Loved seeing Australia beyond Melbourne and promised to come back for more than a few days.. 

Got a bit emotional about Finland turning 100 after being pretty nonchalant for the entire year. 

Met with more childhood idols and got feedback on my projects. Met with a mentor and planned a trip to Dubai. Took a metro to Aalto University and heard about their AI research and quantum computing.  Got really excited about visiting India. A teacher in NYC dressed up as Ruby for Computer Science week. Wrote about work and worked on writing. 

Finished the Hockney book and was happy as a child with the Hockney-Falco-thesis. Perception (be it AI or art) seemed to be the theme of the year. Read Sherry Turkle's work and found direction(s). 

Made gingerbread cookies with goddaughters family, took another goddaughter to movies to see Moomin. Celebrated Maija's doctoral dissertation (and surprise wedding!). Went to Christmas concert with Nelli & Juha, had many Christmas celebrations with friends. Saw Star Wars (if I had to choose, liked the new Blade Runner better) and Mozart's Magic Flute (loved the Komische Oper Berlin visuals). Watched the Crown. 

Had girls over for wrath meaning and planning the new year. Spent Christmas together with Ville, just the two of us. Loved our tree, the new traditions and the quiet. 

Read

Dinner at the Center of the Earth. 

Manhattan Beach. 

Minun Amerikkani. Felt this strongly. 

True to Life: Twenty-Five years of Conversations with David Hockney. One of the big books of the year. 

The Second Self: Computers and the Human Spirit. 

[incurableweeabootrash]

Comprehensive list of ‘Safe to Watch’ Anime (W.I.P)

This post is made up of three lists: ‘Safe To Watch’ ‘Almost’, and ‘Blind Reccomendations and Suggestions’.

‘SAFE’ TO WATCH

If memory serves me correctly, these anime are free from overt fanservice or anything that slaps you in the face with how problematic it is. This list will be worked on an added to over time. I’ll only really be focusing on shows that I think are worth a watch

1) Tokyo Mew Mew - Watch subbed due to 4Kids style butchering in the dub. Luckily that doesn’t happen anymore these days in dubs.

2) Little Witch Academia - A series on Netflix that can only be described as The Worst Witch - The Anime. Watch sub or dub depending on your preference.

3) Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - Also on Netflix. Probably one of the highest rated anime of all time, and has multiple well-portrayed female characters and even some racial diversity. It’s set in a Europe inspired setting, so I recommend watching dubbed. Although the dub is just great anyway. Skip episode 1 and go straight to episode 2, as the first episode is actually filler and even contains a spoiler.

4) Attack on Titan

5) Love Live! School Idol Project Season 2, and Love Live! The School Idol Movie. Season 1 of Love Live is an ‘ALMOST’, but I’ll get to that in the next list. You shouldn’t skip season 1 though, for story reasons.

6) Digimon Tamers - The most well written of all the Digimon shows, with good character arcs. Can be watched on Amazon Prime.

7) Tokyo Ghoul. Shame about the second season ignoring the manga almost completely though

8) Love, Chunibyo and Other Delusions Season 1 - A story about young teenagers who either went through a phase of believing they had superpowers and were some kind of anime character, or still haven’t outgrown that phase and still like to pretend they have special powers.

There’s no real fanservice in either season, but season 2 has two seperate instances of a very minor homosexual female character being portrayed as a bit weird and deviant. Season 1 is completely clean though, so watch that and decide for yourself whether to keep watching.

9) Cardcaptor Sakura - Same genre as Tokyo Mew Mew. Again watch subbed for the same reason as TMM. It also has subtle portrayals of homosexuality, being a work by CLAMP, and there doesn’t seem anything wrong with it as far as I’m aware. People who are actually queer can have the final say on that though.

10) Strawberry Panic - A show about an all girl’s school where being gay is just the norm. And believe it or not, it’s NOT a porno! Again, people who are actually queer can have the final say on whether the portrayals are okay or not, but from my perspective everyone seems to just be a person who happens to be gay, considering that homosexuality is treated as normal and nothing special in this show.

11) Yuri on Ice

12) Wolf Children - An animated film that’s just really good. The story of a mother raising what are basically werewolves but with complete control over when they can transform. Her challenge is whether to raise them as humans or as wolves.

13) Yona Of The Dawn - Story of a spoiled princess in Ancient Japan who gradually grows into a strong individual. I’ve also been informed that the multitude of men in the cast are also all rather attractive, if that’s a selling point for you xD Yona of the Dawn can be watched on Funimation Now.

14) Madoka Magica - It’s been almost five years since I’ve seen this, but I’m absolutely certain there was no fanservice. I recommend you watch this only after seeing a show like Tokyo Mew Mew/Cardcaptor Sakura, or Sailor Moon, as Madoka Magica is part of the same genre ('Magical Girl’) but expects you to have already seen the classic magical girl shows or at least know a little bit about them. Give it four episodes before you judge it. Trust me, this is the most extreme example of not judging by the first couple of episodes. 15) My Love Story - I mean when a stranger gets arrested for trying to feel a girl on the train and gets promptly punched in the face for basically saying that 'she was asking for it wearing a skirt that short’, you know the writer’s got their head on straight morally. 16) Wandering Son - “ Effeminate fifth grader Shuuichi Nitori is considered by most to be one of the prettiest girls in school, but much to her dismay, she is actually biologically male. Fortunately, Shuuichi has a childhood friend who has similar feelings of discomfort related to gender identity: the lanky tomboy Yoshino Takatsuki, who, though biologically female, does not identify as a girl. These two friends share a similar secret and find solace in one another; however, their lives become even more complicated when they must tread the unfamiliar waters of a new school, attempt to make new friends, and struggle to maintain old ones. Faced with nearly insurmountable odds, they must learn to deal with the harsh realities of growing up, transexuality, relationships, and acceptance. Lauded as a decidedly serious take on gender identity and LGBT struggles, Takako Shimura’s Hourou Musuko is about Shuuichi and Yoshino’s attempts to discover their true selves as they enter puberty, make friends, fall in love, and face some very real and difficult choices.”

More to come

THE 'ALMOST’ LIST

These are shows that are about 95% okay, but have one or two tiny moments or a small aspect about them that are a bit 'ehhh’. Nevertheless, I believe every show on this list is still worth a watch due to them very good for the vast majority of the show regardless.

1) Love Live! School Idol Project Season 1 - Love Live is usually so innocent that it’s practically the Disney/My Little Pony of anime; singing and dancing included. But clearly someone on the writing staff was a little confused and thought they were writing some terrible Adult Swim comedy or something, because this one gag that they clearly thought was so hilarious it had to be included, left everyone including Japanese viewers thinking “What the hell!?”

If I could put the series into Windows Movie Maker and edit out five seconds from episode 2 and about 10 seconds from episode 7 (ESPECIALLY those ten seconds from episode 7) then I’m sure a large majority of the fandom would rejoice. It’s such a tonal whiplash and I’m kind of concerned for the writer who finds this funny. I’ve been told that apparently real high school girls in Japan do that to their friends as a prank or just to piss about, but the difference there is that it’s between friends who trust each other.

…However, there is actually a happy end to this story, as I’ve been told that Japanese viewers actually complained to the people behind the show, and THEY LISTENED! When working on season 2, they clearly listened to fan feedback as Nozomi never did that again. It was so out of place in the show anyway, and so uncomfortably portrayed.

Nevertheless, the other 95% of Love Live is this wonderful colourful, bright, heartwarming show with a great main character and catchy music and it went above all my expectations of it, and I while I wouldn’t normally condone ignoring problematic things, the fact that it’s literally such a tiny tiny amount of the show’s running time, and the fact that the complaints were heard and they learnt their lesson, means that with a well timed fast forward (I might look up the exact times to skip at some point ) you can skip past those two moments and improve your watching experience. I just wish there was a version with it edited out completely. ___________________

2) Death Note - Barely any female characters other than Misa, who may divide opinion on how she’s portayed. However it’s a fantastic watch regardless, and is fanservice free

3) Mirai Nikki/Future Diary - Mao. A bit of a problematic portrayal of a homosexual female as her sexuality seems to be her main character trait. She’s a minor side character though, so it depends how invested you are before she pops up halfway through the show.

There’s also a little brief female nudity, in a Game Of Thrones way that kind of comes across more as 'Look how mature we are!’ which of course has the opposite effect… However it’s never portrayed in a pornographic way from what I remember, and in one case is even used to unnerve/disturb. Opinions will vary though.

The third episode also features a slightly questionable moment where Yuno loses her bikini top in the pool. Now, you don’t see anything and she does hide herself, and in retrospect she probably did that on purpose to get Yuki more interested in her, but the gut reaction is more “um…. please don’t let my parents walk in right now :L”

It’s a bit more of an ask than the others, but the plot to this is so thrilling and twisting that I couldn’t help love it regardless

4) Parasyte: The Maxim

The quickest a show has ever redeemed itself. This show sees the main character’s hand getting taken over by an alien parasite, but the first episode decides that it’d be 'hilarious’ if the parasite hand accidently grabs his friend’s breast when trying to get the hang of controlling it. But a few episodes later, after several days of her being understandably mad at him (although the fact that it was the parasite’s fault and not his complicated it), he apologises (although missing out the part about the alien parasite) and I feel the show does a good job of acknowledging that it’s wrong and in no way supports it. It’s early on right there in the first episode, so once you’re past that it’s clean sailing for the rest of the show

5) Steins;Gate - While some find the first half a bit slow, Steins;Gate becomes phenomenal in the second half. Only problem is that the self-proclaimed mad scientist Okabe Rintaro is more science-smart than social-smart, and there’s a thing he does purely out of shock and scientific curiosity when he finds himself in an alternate timeline where a friend of his may now be a different sex. Needless to say, it’s better to just ask rather than check… He’s told off for it and the characters on screen are understandably shocked, but that’s exactly my reaction as well and this uncomfortable moment is a blight on an otherwise fantastic show

6) Sailor Moon - The classic Magical Girl show that influenced the likes of Tokyo Mew Mew and moved the genre forwards. It also features canonically a canonically gay couple about 150 episodes in. Looking back nowadays though, the Nostalgia Critic said it best (skip to 9:00): https://youtu.be/pa2oHxME-aY I never found it attractive in that way myself, possibly because I could see they were cartoons and not real with the 90s art style the show has, but it still can't be denied that it's a bit awkward with their age

7) Gatchaman Crowds, and Gatchaman Crowds Insight - A superhero show that takes a surprising turn into kind-of deeper social and politcal commentary. It really is fantastic, but some may look at the flamboyant looking character OD and see it as a perpetuation of a stereotype. One the other hand, he’s never actually stated or shown to be gay, just fashionable in his own way and flamboyant. To be honest he actually struck me as pretty awesome for just dressing however he wants, especially when the top hat comes in to the mix. I thought the same about Rui, a character refered to by everyone as male but wears clothes traditionally seen as female, as well as a wig, and looks pretty awesome doing it. Both these characters are never the butt of a joke and are generally just accepted by everyone without being commented on. I will also mention Utsustu, a minor character who sometimes just casually wears a bikini as clothes. But surprisingly there’s no camera close ups of her chest or anything fanservice-y. We view the show through the lens of the very open minded main character Hajime. When Hajime firsts meets Utsustu, she just comments “cute swimsuit!” and asks her where she got it from. To me this gave the impression that, like the main character Hajime, we shoud accept that this is how she sometimes likes to dress, and more power to her if she wants to. Not to mention that there is way more to her character than what she wears. I think the show in general has good elements of celebrating self-expression in these three characters, but I can see why some would disagree.

Often there’s a debate when it comes to localisation and censorship, but with most of the shows above I kind of wish that a censored version was at least available because for people like me they’d be an improvement. But I feel that as long as you acknowledge that a moment is wrong and acknowledge what’s wrong with it and talk about it, you can still enjoy the rest of the show since you won’t be pretending it’s okay and your own morals won’t be influenced by it. Feel free to disagree with me though _______________ BLIND RECOMMENDATIONS 1) Snow White with the Red Hair - Not one I’ve seen myself but was suggested to me for this list 2) Whispered Words. “ Murasame Sumika is popular in the high school for her excellence in the marks and sports. However, she has a secret: she is in love with her classmate Kazama Ushio. Ushio also has a liking to the love between girls, but she hasn’t noticed Sumika’s feelings and has always been refused by other girls.” Apparently a very relatable story for any closeted girl. 3) Samurai Flamenco -” Male model Masayoshi Hazama becomes the superhero Samurai Flamenco and fights crime. “