#so instead of being outcasted she's accepted within the family

[thunderjawsandlightning]

Power in a Name: Nil and Aloy parallels

I've been thinking about the inverse parallels that Nil and Aloy have with social dynamics with their names, and how it gives them a level of understanding that is completely unique to them and how they regard each other. It's something that is unspoken between the two of them, and yet mutually understood, and it gives a level of emotional depth that is immensely cathartic upon the acknowledgement of each other by name.

**spoiler discussion for Horizon Zero Dawn and Horizon Forbidden West**

---

Aloy has only ever wanted to know her mother's name; there's connection and lineage and community in the name of your family. For so much of the "tutorial area" in The Embrace and the events leading up to the Proving, her name is not important to identifying her: she is simply known as "motherless" or "outcast" or both. Lansra wants to deny her even being given a name during the opening cutscene -- it's only through Teersa's kindness and calm, firm insistence that she be named facing the sunrise with a Matriarch's blessing.

Across the games, Aloy is given a number of titles from the various tribes: Anointed of the Nora, Savior of Meridian, Hekarro's Champion. All these titles laud her accomplishments and put her on a pedestal of respect; the complete opposite end of the spectrum to when she first interacts with the tribes.

To the Nora, she has gone from the lowest social status in the tribe as an outcast, to Anointed in one fell swoop-- given a sacred status of near-worship and unquestioned acceptance due to the belief that she has spoken directly to All-Mother within the Mountain. This sudden switch is so jarring for her, and also a stark realization that while she thought she was looking for acceptance, she never wanted it like this.

The Carja have always held arrogant views on the other tribes; their advancement in technology and their organized militarization have given them a distinct advantage over all the other tribes, and with it, a sense of superiority. Their culture and their religion reinforce the idea that the Nora are simply savages, with the upper classes seeing them unfit to even deign faux-civil conversation (as seen in the Hunter's Lodge). In the face of the oncoming destruction led by HADES and the Eclipse, Aloy's victory is seen as heroic and put onto both a figurative and literal pedestal in a display of zealous admiration for her accomplishment at slaying Helis, Terror of the Sun, and saving Meridian from certain doom.

The Tenakth, viciously protective of their land and people, are already disinclined to allow outlanders to walk their Clan Lands in the aftermath of the Red Raids. Fashav tells us that without proper right of passage the Tenakth would attack Aloy on sight, no questions asked, regardless of the importance of her mission. Following the Embassy, the events at the Bulwark, and the defense of the Kulrut, Aloy quickly gains a fearsome reputation and accompanying moniker of Hekarro's Champion -- again, a title of her accomplishments.

Throughout all of her journey, she does her very best to be known by her own name, not by any grand title or reputation of great renown, but simply as the huntress Aloy. She rebuffs most greetings of her monikers with "Just Aloy." in a clear and direct attempt to be met as a person instead of by the sheer force of her reputation as told by others.

So much of her life has been under the weight of other people's perceptions of who they think she is: a larger-than-life-figure, a mysterious huntress with second sight, a formidable warrior even by the standard of great warriors. Even her perception of herself in shadowed by the width and breadth of Elisabet's legacy and sacrifice. Is it too much to ask for her to simply be seen and known as herself, and just as that?

---

Nil, conversely, has been known by many names, most of his own choosing. Names are evidently important to Carja culture, as many have epithets or titles to indicate their standing or calling, like Mournful Namman, Studious Vuadis, Javad the Willing, or Well-Traveled Aram. Nil seems to shed names as easily as Aloy does armors, changing and adapting and letting go of past personas quite easily. A name to the Carja is connection, power, and reputation. As we meet Nil, he introduces himself and is then known by a name of his own choosing: one that literally means "nothing". Every name we know him by is one made to embody a new persona, with no connection to his lineage.

Upon first meeting, he introduces himself by telling Aloy to "…call [him] Nil." Notice the wording: "call". Not "My name is…" His phrasing is distinct and deliberate, and majority of the conversation you have with Nil after completing the Devil's Thirst bandit camp is vague in terms of his origins, skirting around clear details and speaking in obfuscated references to past events. Through Janeva, Warden of Sunstone Rock, we learn that "Nil" is not his first name, although it remains uncertain if he was known by his true name or another during his time at Sunstone.

ALOY: Do you know a…hunter…named Nil? He told me about this place.   JANEVA:Nil? That’s what he calls himself now?  Is he well?

2. To the Carja, he is known by reputation and rumour, war stories and whispers; renowned enough that he is recognizable by common Carja Guard, and feared enough that they do not speak his name. It is likely he was given some kind of moniker or a name of near-boogeyman-like status, given the prayer of protection the guard mutters after Nil offhandedly addresses them.

CARJA GUARD 1: Isn’t that…him? From the battle of the Daunt? CARJA GUARD 2: Can’t be.  Cinnabar Sands was before that, and there were no survivors.   NIL: Well, I don’t like to boast.   CARJA GUARD 2: O Sun, keep the shadow from falling upon me.

He knows his reputation carries further than where he walks, and while he acknowledges its connection to him, he still would prefer to be somewhat removed in its association, of the elaboration and hyperbolic storytelling of past deeds and, perhaps, misdeeds.

3. Addressing the animosity held by the neighbouring tribes from the events of the Red Raids, there is one tribe Nil holds to a status of respect and equal regard: the Tenakth. He highlights a kinship and mutual understanding of the need for a fight and the desire of spilled blood; one that Fashav echoes as well:

"As you may have noticed, violence is the native tongue of the Tenakth. To survive, one must master it."

He sheds the skin of Nil the Bandit Hunter for Red Teeth the Racer, to meet the Rebel defectors on equal ground, to fight for respect on their chosen battleground the way Tenakth warriors of the past had fought their way into his respect with their martial prowess and skill. The name he gives them is, again, one he chooses, with no obvious attachment to the past, only embracing the change and growth that is to come with reinventing yourself. Nil chooses to be perceived by the world in a way that is not derived from or reliant on his family name, the heritage that comes with it, or the socio-cultural weight it carries to be recognized as Carja.

---

Aloy is given many names by the tribes and people she meets on her journey, but only wants to be known by her own name, to know her own heritage and lineage. In seeking that out, she is both empowered and staggered by the knowledge, and it changes her perspective on who and what she feels she has to live up to -- her tribe's expectations, her predecessor's hopes and wishes for the future world, her own expectations of herself. In the face of that knowledge, she doesn't leave herself the room to consider herself, but still wants to be acknowledged as an individual. Nil does so, and savours the knowledge of her name like a gift:

ALOY: …Nil?  NIL: Aloy.  They told me your name, I said hair like a splash of blood, tenacious as a Scrapper’s jaws. [Main Quest: The Looming Shadow]

Nil gives out new names to be known by --names of his own choosing -- in an act through which he is deliberately shedding the weight, status, and legacy of his birth name, leaving it behind. Instead, he transforms into a different version of himself, one unburdened by birthright and tribal ties.

RED TEETH: That was a well-earned win.  One that merits speaking face to face.   ALOY: Nil?!? NIL: You have to admit, I put on a good show. [The Stillsands Gauntlet race, Condition: Win]

Nil knows implicitly that he can share this secret with her -- the secret of his identity as Carja, a danger in hostile Tenakth Clan Lands. And Aloy still trusts him, still respects him, to keep his secret, even with the secrecy of his bloodied history hanging in slight tension with the circumstances and the environment he's found a home in. Even so, she still calls him by the name he asked to be called by:

ALOY: I’m glad you found your thing, Nil.  Relieved, actually…I think. 

And what a catharsis it is, then, to be known and recognized by the name you yourself value, by the only other person who could understand the weight and power in a name:

NIL/ RED TEETH: I’ll leave you to it.  See you when you feel the need, Aloy. 

[steviewashere]

Playing Around With a D&D/Fantasy Concept, Bear With Me

Okay, so a couple days ago, I made a post about the older teens (minus Billy because I honestly didn't think about him) in a D&D world. Like if they were an adventuring party. Here's the link to the post (mainly about Steve, be warned).

But I thought I'd share what I envision them to look like, using Baldur's Gate 3 as my marker. Because it was the easiest way for me to create them as D&D characters without drawing them, and also because I don't have the energy to draw all that right now. If you'd like to see them and their race & class, they're below the cut!

I've given them a bit of backstory, but I'm not doing it in the way that a typical D&D game would go (most definitely), so if the inspiration hits me—maybe I'll come back to this and write some sort of fantasy AU based on this. <3

Also, be aware that Baldur's Gate 3's character creation is wholly based on presets and that I couldn't fine tune any of them. But I tried my damn hardest. And yes, Jonathan and Argyle look a little funky, oops.

First off: Steve Harrington (Fantasy names pending—no they're not)

He is a half-orc fighter. His background places him as a fable/folk hero, having stood up to a monster on his lonesome—saving a town of people. As far as his backstory goes, I haven't fully fleshed it out yet, but I wanted to play with the idea of him being an exile. Dismissed and sent out by his family, but at a very young age. He has no clue, or no memory more like, of who his family is and is in search of them. His family, however, is part of the land's tyranny—his father, the lord of the land. And that's honestly as far as I got.

Next: Eddie Munson

A tiefling rogue. An urchin in his backstory. His parents having lived a not so well life, dying young/being arrested. He is forced to live and survive on the streets. Stealing, sneaking, and surviving are his main tactics. Up until it gets him in trouble, having stolen from the wrong family. This family? The tyrant lord himself. And in order for Eddie to save himself, he's on the search for a half-orc, bounty hunting. This leads him to come across Steve. And again, this is as far as I got.

Third: Robin Buckley

She is a half-elf bard. Loves all things musical, artful, and entertaining. She carries a deep fascination for the finer crafts of life. Highly intelligent, due to her sage librarian background, and wholly curious. Not one to fit in with neither humans nor elves, she is in search of a community to accept her. Misfits and outcasts are her humble friends, and she'll do anything to find this community. Steve and Eddie—the exile and the tiefling urchin?—they're the perfect match for her.

Fourth: Nancy Wheeler

The human of the group and also an excellent ranger. She's a sage, like Robin is, though instead a researcher. Her abilities in history and insight lead her to investigate the lands. She wants to do right by the people, all people—no matter their race or class. With the combination of her high intelligence and sharp shooter skill, she won't let anything stand in her way. Steve, Eddie, and Robin are the perfect merry cast of misfits for her to fall in line with—and as she discovers, they're not as bad as the prejudiced society makes them out to be.

Fifth: Jonathan Byers

A drow half-elf sorcerer. He's an outlander, an outcast far beyond what the party is prepared for. Though, he finds comfort in wandering, even if sometimes it leads him to less...unsatisfactory places. He slinks through the shadows, one that people think is creepy, but is actually and very honestly sweet. His family is all that matters to him, and within his wandering, he hopes to return. During his travels, he meets another outlander, Argyle. The two of them eventually bump into the rest of the party members—literally.

Lastly (and the dorkiest because him being a dwarf, despite his height in the show, is funny, okay?): Argyle [REDACTED]

Argyle is a dwarf druid. Also an outlander, as mentioned with Jonathan. He cares most about animals and nature than anything else. In fact, Jonathan's the only friendly person he's ever come to know. He's not quite sure what he's in search for, but he knows that if he can assist in any way, he wants to. Whether it be with his knowledge of the natural "herbs" of the land or shape-shifting into a creature in battle, he's ready to ball fists for misfits in his party.

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Some ideas for if I were to rewrite helluva boss. (ugh another 1k word post. I either don't say shit or vomit words) Please ignore grammar mistakes, wrote this on my last hour of work at 10pm.

Was thinking about I would change HB if given the chance and these are my thoughts.

- Main location would be in on earth not hell. Having IMP navigating around human society would be more interesting as they tried to keep themselves hidden.

- This way they could have their harsh personalities and have extras still react strongly. (The amount of pearl clutching in the show makes no since given that 'its hell and demons are supposed to be good people.) It would likely take place in a town that's close to a larger city. Or just somewhere rural.

- Stolas, Moxxie and Luna would be human. Gonna explain working backwards.

- Luna would have the same backstory but she gets adopted earlier in life. She's raised by a demon, probably homeschooled, and picks up on Blitzo's mannerisms. Now she's getting older and wants to mingle with people now. The problem, humans aren't accepting of that behavior and she's an outcast. Most people in town openly avoud her. Her struggle with Blitzo is that despite him rasing her, she wonders what would have happened if he left her on the streets and maybe adopted and raised by other humans.

- Blitzo having her working in IMP to show her that people aren't actually all that great. But Luna has more of a problem faking good behavior. (Her relationship with Moxxie is better because he is teachering her about people. Luna will go to Moxxie for questions rather than Blitzo. He and Blitzo have a strain relationship due to this. Doesn't help that Bliz will make things up when he doesn't know, which will screw Luna over socially)

- Moxxie keeps his backstory but instead of the mob, he's born to a cultist family. Not like in S1E1, but a more large scale. His mother got in young and fell for one of the high ranking members. Overtime it got too much and when Moxxie is really young, his mother tries to leave. She is killed for this and Moxxie lives in fear. It is framed like an accident.

- The Millie shows up after being summon by Moxxie during a rite of passage ritual or something similar. Since he summoned her, he's the one that get to request something of her. He asks that everyone forgets he exists/thinks he died with his mother.

‐ The request is granted. But Moxxie has nothing to his name. The streets in the city are too harsh, so he stays in town, scared and keeping his head down. Maybe takes up odd jobs to stay afloat. Crimson comes in later, fining revords of Moxxie, and starts investing. Maybe he summons Striker.

- Stolas is the next leader of the cult. Handed sown from his father. Chosen blood or something. He summons a demon bride, Stella, to bring in the anti-christ. He goes along because he feels like he has no choice. But like Moxxie, he's wanted out for a long time.

- He happens upon Blitzo and is delighted to find that at least this demon is pleasant. Their relationship starts as just a break from things. Blitzo is still a low level demon. He shouldn't even be on earth. How he got there is a mystery, but he can't go back to hell. If anyone find out, then he's dead.

- Blitzo still has to eat (or maybe just feed Luna) and Stolas can't hide him, so he gives Blitze the magic book. Not to get from hell and back, but to trasport himself around earth. His clients contact him online or through the phone. Moxxie joins in cuz he's getting desperate. Millie's been working within the cult since being summon by Moxxie. She enjoys his companyso they stick together and grow close. She gives him a sense of safety, and he's teaching her about humans. She becomes softer overtime because of it.

- Moxxie would be more sensitive to killing, so hewouldbe the one to use the book, he's more trained in magic anyway, and would stay in the office to transport everyone.

- Luna uses traveling around to get practice interacting with people. She doesn't have to see them everyday, so failing has less of a sting and lingering embarrassment.

- Octavia is half demon, half human. She's a teen whose confused on what to do with herself. Stella is ruling a section of hell, she doesn't have the time to be a parent or the interest. For the first time Stolas feels like he can connect with someone of his family without all the expectation. He teaches her about the cult, but make time for nicer things. He teaches her about life.

- Octavia is conflicted about her role in the cult. She's part demon but isn't taught their cruelty. She feels isolated and sufficated. Then by one chance outing she meets Luna. Some who understand. Someone to open up too.

- I'm not sure how Stolas and Blitzo's romantic relationship would develop, but I like the idea of them being less hesitant about it when their daughters become friends.

- Blitzo is hiding on earth because of a huge messup. Maybe something that injuries Fizz, gets his mother killed, and gets Barb to hate him. But unlike the show he is fully at fault. There's no way to apologize or take it back.

( Maybe he tries to take a stash of souls/their energy to make himself more powerful cuz he's tired of being at the bottom. But it goes wrong and they get released. They end up in heaven, tipping the scales and setting hell back centuries. Satan himself wants to throw Blitzo into the void.

It could be why they cult is so important. The more it grows, the more souls willfully signing themselves over to hell. If it goes wrong Stella has a lit to lose. If she finds him, and Stolas, things will get ugly. But they can't leave the town. Maybe something about concentrated demonic energy that lower level demons need to survive. The cult and its mass of demons us enough for IMP to be around but it doesn't stretch that far.)

- Ozzie (and Fizz), Beelzebub, Mammon and the other Sins appear when IMP need to do work in other locations, near hotbeds of other cults or demonic activities.

[dragonfirerogue-writes]

I couldn't exactly find the soulmate au that I was thinking about so any Soulmate au would be applicable!

KHR x Wednesday

Reader is the Sky Arcobaleno instead of Luce, They have powerful sky flames that manages to keep Reader alive for decades and The Arcobaleno kept in touch via an app/website that Verde made. They decided to enroll into Nevermore because they are bored and if vampires can join Nevermore at any age then R can too! Reader is just on the sidelines, watching from afar never revealing their flames to anyone in Nevermore even Weems.

Here we come to the Angsty Fun part! Reader confronts Wednesday on being soulmates but gets rejected. Saddened but smiles at Wednesday and nods and they apologizes and bids them a good life. One of the arcobaleno comes and enrolls after that and Reader spends time with the arcobaleno, ignoring Wednesday. Reader and arcobaleno can be lovers or something like that. You can decide the plot

Wednesday x Arcobaleno!Reader

V: Any trouble so far?

-No, not so far. There seems to be some rumbles about, but nothing I need to step into.

R: Good to know. We have a contact that may show up. He's a troublemaker, but he's a good informant.

V: Name's Fester.

C: Make sure the authorities don't get to him. He's usually good about it though.

The rest of the conversation devolves into other updates that don't pertain to you so you return your gaze to the Nevermore Quad. You watch as outcasts of all sorts mingle together and smile at the sight. In the years you've been alive, it warmed your heart to see the evolution and progression of their acceptance within the world.

You came to this school out of boredom. With the other Arcobaleno able to keep things running without you, you had a bit of freedom with your life. Especially since the curse running in your family seemed to skip you. In fact, you've been the head of the Giglio Nero Famiglia for years longer than any others.

But now, you're just another face in the crowd. It was a nice change of pace. No one needed you aside from your team. No one knew who you were. No one knew your power. Both your clairvoyance and your flames. And you had no intention of showing anyone.

At least until you laid eyes on Nevermore's newest resident, Wednesday Addams.

As soon as you gaze upon her, the flame in your heart blazes then ebbs into a calm ember. Because of the strength of your Dying Will Flame, you had to constantly be aware of your power. But now, you feel as though calm has settled into your soul.

You need to talk to Wednesday as soon as you can. It takes a couple days, but you managed to catch the goth alone.

"Wednesday, yes?" You wait until the girl turns to look at you. "I'm Y/N. And... And I believe you're my soulmate."

She just stares at you, her eyes occasionally moving you size you up. You don't know what's on her mind, but you hope that there's something there.

"I have no soulmate," she says, crushing your hopes. "And I have no intention of getting one. That is a weakness I will not claim."

You feel your heart breaking. The sorrow nearly cripples you. But you take a breath and offer the goth a smile. Stepping back from her space, you bow.

"I suppose I'll just have to accept that then." Your eyes waver and tears begin to fill up. "May your future lead you to greatness."

You walk away, letting your tears fall. Your flames withering with your mood.

-----+++++-----

The days seem to blur after your encounter with Wednesday. You see her everywhere and the hurt renews every time you do so. Even now, when you're sitting in the quad, you find yourself looking in her direction. You don't snap out of it until a wrapped bento box is waved in front of you.

"It's a rare sight to see a frown on your face, Boss."

Startled, you look up at your new companion only to see a familiar smile.

"Fon! What are you doing here?" You stand up and pull him into an embrace, which he returns in kind with a soft chuckle.

"We thought you would like some company while here, so I volunteered." He smooths the creases on his uniform and sits next to you. "Also thought you might've missed some good food so..." He opens the bento, revealing his favorite food.

"Hahaha Mapo tofu. Yes, it's been a while since I've had this. Thank you, Fon."

"Of course."

Little did you know, a pair of dark eyes witnessed the whole interaction and a stuttering heart beats for the first time.

-----+++++-----

Wednesday is investigating in the woods when she hears grunts. Following the sound, she finds you and Fon sparring in a clearing. For a split second, rage surges through her veins. It was strange for her. She never wanted a soulmate. She didn't even think she had one. But now that you made yourself known, the possessive feelings seem to overtake her.

Your eyes on her quickly became a staple in her life. Even after she rejected you, the fact that you watched her gave her a strange comfort. But when your companion arrived, she didn't feel those eyes anymore and it makes her feel more empty than she usually feels. She didn't like it. And knowing that your eyes were more on this newcomer than on her, she liked that even less.

Wednesday found herself watching the sparring match. She wanted to know more about you and why she was drawn to you outside of being soulmates. When the appearance of flames from the both of you came about, she was captivated.

Yours and Fon's flames danced in red and oranges. You easily recovered from every strike using your Soft Flames. Fon's speed gave him the advantage when it came to the number of attacks. However, your Hard Flames gave you the power to deal extra damage.

The battle grows more fearsome as time goes on. At some point, Fon sends an Exploding Lotus Kempo towards you, which you dodge. But in doing so, it goes towards Wednesday. As soon as you notice, you burst forward as the red dragon races towards the goth. You make it in time to take the hit, using your own flames to nullify the damage as much as you can.

"Boss!" Fon races towards you and checks you for harm.

"What did I tell you about calling me that here, Fon?" You let out a soft groan. The sleeves of your shirt have disintegrated, leaving your forearms bare and slightly singed. You turned to look at the girl behind you with a soft smile.

"Any harm to you, Wednesday?" The goth shakes her head.

"Good." You turn back to Fon. Almost immediately, Wednesday misses your eyes on her. "Fon, we'll have to be more careful while sparring." The Storm Arcobaleno nods in agreement.

"Of course." He looks at Wednesday and bows. "Apologies for the fright. I should've held back."

"What power is that?" Wednesday asks, ever the curious one. "I've never seen it before."

Fon looks at you. He wasn't sure whether to tell the girl about your famiglia and everything that it entailed. You just keep your smile.

"They're called Dying Will Flames." You explain. "It's an... Inherited trait within our circle." Wednesday frowns at your explanation.

"Just who are you?" A sad smile graces your features.

"Someone of no real importance to you, amore."

You turn to leave, taking Fon by the arm to leave as well. "Be safe out here, Wednesday. Sorry to have bothered you."

Fon placed a comforting hand on your back as you both walked away. Wednesday feels as though she just lost something dear to her, something she hasn't felt since losing Nero. She hates herself for this, but maybe she'll have to find a way into your good graces if she's going to feel normal again.

Wednesday isn't even sure if that's possible now...

[starrabbitmedia]

In the human AU: Do the trio have family? Like I'm guessing Shura would still have her family situation, what would Mirages, Fairy's and Zavy's family look like?

Yes, Shura's still got her family situation going on, though in the human AU she and her brother would more likely be living in America than in Japan. Unfortunately, due to this taking place in the 70's and due to Americans being very wary of Russians at the time (and thinking the country was being invaded by Soviets), the two of them aren't treated very well. In fact, Dimitri's school friends would be the other racial outcasts in his school. This means he has considerably more anger to take out on Shura, and even more of a reason for her to want to get away from him.

Zachary (Zavy), Felicity (Fairy Floss), and Milton (Mirage) are all separated from their family members at this point.

Milton's parents dumped them on their grandmother due to simply not wanting to take care of them anymore. Like Shura, Milton is albino and has some medical problems because of it. They lived in the garage that was converted into a spare living space of their grandmother's house, and she passed away recently, leaving them the entire house. Despite the fact that the house is now entirely theirs, they still reside in their space that was built in the garage and are considering renting out other rooms in the house so that they don't have to work. They're the youngest of the group at only 19-21ish. I haven't decided on a specific age.

Zachary had a relatively big family. He's the oldest of 5 siblings and comes from a half white, half-Mexican set of parents. He has 3 younger sisters, and a younger brother whom he helped raise and take care of. He was actually in medical school to become a nurse when his (VERY CATHOLIC) mother caught him in bed with another man, and kicked him out of the house. She simply couldn't accept that her son was Bisexual and refused to let him back into the family unless he married a nice girl and stayed within the path of the lord.

He is currently 34 and lives in his van for the most part, but also couch-hops at friend's houses or in the beds of those he has one-night stands with. Unfortunately he had to give up his nursing dreams and now works as a bartender at a Disco Dance Club where he also occasionally dances.

Felicity came from a VERY well-off, old money, white rich family. She has a set of twin brothers that are 17 years younger than she is. Her mother had her EXACTLY at 18, and her brothers when she was 35 years old. The two of them were considered "miracle babies" because her Ma was told she was too old to have children anymore.

She was raised as a pageant baby and paraded around as their pretty little doll. Which she HATED. She much preferred spending time on her uncle's farm and going hunting with him. Truthfully, her uncle was more of a father to him than her own dad actually was. She appreciated the roof over her head and the food at her table, but she hated being trapped in the packaging her family expected her to be in.

At 24 she was expected to marry a nasty, older man that was friends with her father as part of a business agreement. She was considered "too old" for pageants anymore, and her father wanted her to "be useful" to the family. Instead, she ran away from the country-club party that night, crashed a golf-cart, and met Tiago (Taki), who was running his own Taco Truck business called: Tiago Tacos. (Which is Spanish wordplay that sounds like, "Te Hago Tacos" which translates to, "I make you tacos.") Tiago was 20 when they met.

Some wacky events ensued and the two struck a deal to marry each other so that Tiago could become legal (as he was there illegally), and she could escape her family. Their marriage of convenience blossomed into actual love, and to this day, Felicity insists that Tiago saved her life and she will love him endlessly for it.

She is currently 27, and Tiago is 23, and she left literally everything from her family behind to stay with him. The two of them live partially in the taco truck, and partially in motels as they save up all of their money that they earn together for a place they can finally call home. But she doesn't mind the life on the road. If anything, it feels more free and satisfying than her old life trapped in a gilded cage. She also uses her hunting skills to actually bring "free" meat into the taco truck so that they can save money on fillings for the tacos. She also wants to start up a garden whenever they finally plant themselves somewhere so that she can harvest a lot of the ingredients fresh the way her uncle did on his farm.

Needless to say, at one point or another, everyone winds up moving into Milton's home renting rooms.

[n2-deep]

What's Wrong With Me?

What is wrong with me?

Sometimes, I feel like I have no friends.

Or, let me clarify, no real friends. It's not that I don't have pleasant conversations with other people or get invited occasionally to hang out in groups with them. Instead, people only ask to hang out with me because they feel awkward that I'm there when they ask others but don't care about me or my interests.

So it more or less feels like I have a ton of acquaintances—like I have many people who can get on just fine without me in their lives. 

It's hard, too, when you see other people on social media hanging out and sharing happy moments in their friendships or hear stories about what other people did (and quite obviously, you weren't invited to participate). It can feel very isolating and lonely when surrounded by everyone having these fantastic fun times and everyone else being friends.

These and other negative thoughts tend to creep in and magnify whenever I feel down and stressed. But I can manage when I'm in a good mood and have my stress under control.  

This is all not a coincidence: feelings of loneliness often go hand-in-hand with depression (which I have), and it can often be fueled by anxiety (which I also have). I am looking back at my life. I see now that these feelings have always been with me. Never feeling accepted or even wanted. Constantly feeling that you are on the outside looking in is hard. I have read some information on ADD and TBI related to it, but? 

At the end of the day, it has to be me. Something I'm doing.

This is truly a question. I do not want people to feel sorry for me. I want to understand. It is hard to admit my feelings and vulnerability of feeling this way. I have always thought I fit in differently than the charity case. 

I try from time to time to reach out and reconnect and ask "friends" to do something. What I get in return is "we should," but when I try, they have something else going on, or I never hear back. 

Is this all in my head? 

Example: When I was 17. That summer, I was in a pretty bad accident. The truck I was driving rolled five times. My face shattered the window. I was ejected out and was pinned under the truck. I was flown to the hospital. After I was released and got home, I never heard from anyone. No one called to check on me. Nothing like I was forgotten, and we never really reconnected.  

Example 2: I thought I had finally found friends. I was part of something. I had a big group of friends. Within the large group, there was a smaller, closer group. These people were the ones to show me that my marriage was terrible for me. My X had just settled for me, and we had nothing in common. "I just never felt good enough for her or her family. " And she hated my friends. I had a job that I loved, and I got to work with my friends. Then, my closest friend became my boss. Everything I did needed to be better. " It is a whole nother story. " So I quit or was fired depends on who you ask. I walked away from that job "and friends" I felt like an outcast. Not a single one of those people ever came and asked me. Didnt come to see if I was okay. Then, not long after, the girl I was seeing dumped me and replaced me overnight. 

I am leaving out a lot because It hurts to think back and the feelings it reminds me of. I'm not hiding it. I don't know if it is relevant to my overall question. What is wrong with me?

I hope to post this where people I know do not see it. Or where if you do, please don't tell me that you did. I would love to know what I am doing wrong if you have feedback.

[nientedenada]

What Makes a Hulkynd?

[Originally posted on r/teslore]

A Hulkynd, what's that? "High Elves who were cast out from their families as children. A horrible fate in our society. "Tell me more about hulkynds." "High Elves strive for perfection in all things, and their bloodline most of all. Hulkynds are children abandoned by their families for some perceived imperfection, generally a physical deformity. They're more than just orphans. They're outcasts."

In this ESO dialogue between the Vestige and Tableau, one of Summerset's darker undersides is exposed. And since then, there have been many questions what makes a Hulkynd in Summerset society and how the status is enforced. Because it isn't obvious what degree of deformity would qualify. Panewen is a Hulkynd because of a scar on her face. So is Manacar. But the Altmer archaeologist Amalien, who is in a wheelchair with a twisted spine that prevents her from walking, is not.

I'd like to propose that there is no rule for the identification of Hulkynds among Altmer newborns. The status of Hulkynd doesn't hinge on disability (though it is driven by ableism), but on the act of family abandonment.

Amalien's dialogue in Greymoor is a valuable window into this.

That's an unusual chair. "If by "unusual" you mean "remarkable," I agree! Quite the feat of engineering, eh? I made it myself. Well, I designed it myself, at any rate. You know what I mean." Do you mind if I ask why it has wheels on it? "No, no. Practically everyone does. I was born with a twisted spine. It makes walking … well, impossible, to be perfectly honest. The chair grants me a degree of mobility I wouldn't have otherwise." That's pretty ingenious. "Made childhood in Summerset a real treat, let me tell you. Want to see a High Elf's face light up? Put them in a room with someone they perceive as fundamentally flawed. It's gross. But also hilarious. We're so insecure, you know?" Is that why you left Summerset? "What? Mara's mercy, no! There's only so much you can learn there. The Sapiarchs, that whole business with the Thalmor and the Dominion? Too many tight collars and small minds. No one takes risks there. It's just the same tired stories over and over."

From Amalien's frank comments, we can see that her family did not treat her as Hulkynd, but others in Summerset would have, the ones who saw her as "fundamentally flawed." And yet, despite that reaction from some, the discrimination was not reason for her to leave Summerset. She was accepted there in a way that identified Hulkynds aren't.Panewen, the scarred Hulkynd, left Summerset to be a money-changer in Rimmen because she could never be accepted back home. Amalien is off on the continent on a prestigious research trip and can go back whenever she wants.

The key point about a Hulkynd's status is that the child's connection to family has been broken. As Tableau defines them, "they are High Elves who were cast out from their families as children."

HappyB3 commented to me: "The question being not "are they broken" but "are they accepted within their family, and therefore are they praxic?"

Kinship is everything in Summerset society. It regulates every aspect of their society. If your kinship doesn't recognize you, another family can't just step in and recognize you instead. So I think asking what the rule is for being a hulkynd is following the wrong track. It's what the kinship decides.

Says HappyB3, "Should an "hulkynd" not be abandoned by their family, they wouldn't be hulkynd."

Now, why am I harping on this point? Because I think it's a great example of how, even within a very conservative culture, Altmer belief and practice is not uniform. We tend to fall into the trap of painting all races as having one attitude. Here, we can see that no, all Altmer do not act the same way about disability and difference in their children. The fate of a child hinges on their family and local culture, not some Dominion-imposed rule.

I think it most likely that the Second Era practice of hulkynds being raised by the Monks of Stendarr is another societal response to this problem. It seems to be parallel to the foundlings' homes of Europe, which many charitable people donated to in an attempt to stop infanticide. I guess it has much the same history in Summerset. Eric of Guis was obviously off his rocker when he said 9/10 infants were killed, but given all the pressures for perfection in Altmer society, I'd be surprised if infanticide wasn't historically prevalent at points.

Of course, then the existence of the Order' of Stendarr's foundlings' homes soothes people's conscience to be ok with abandoning kids. It's a complex societal issue, and I'm happy it's painted as such.

Additonal Comments resulting from discussion:

I wouldn't assume that higher class in Summerset always means a better outcome for children. Many of those elite kinships seem like they'd want to suppress the existence of children who are less than perfect because it would reflect badly on the kinship, and make matches more difficult to make for their members.

Something that can be fixed quickly and easily, they'd certainly do so, and pretend it never happened. But I fear that many of them would not take the view that Amalien's family did. Actual infanticide or pretended death (sending child away without acknowledging there was a defect) might be most common at that level. Or perhaps the old Victorian practice of locking up a disabled family member away from the public.

I think it's also likely that non-hulkynd with perceived impairments are discouraged by the surrounding society from marrying and having children. After all, marriage negotiations take two families, plus the brokers, to tango, and there's a great fear of passing down negative traits in the culture.

Again, different people will have different views of what a significantly negative trait is, and how likely it is to be passed down. But it's not a culture that frowns on eugenics.

And some remarks current ESO loremaster, Leamon Tuttle, has made on the subject (from uesp):

Amalien's parents rejected the cultural notion of perfection and raised her with love and support regardless of the social hazards. Like many other normal people would.

I know the hulkynd thing has been grinding gears. Cultural practices (even zealously enforced ones) aren't completely inescapable. People willing to take risks can resist this stuff - often at a price, of course.

[cazimagines]

Hey! 🖤

If you are taking requests, what about headcanons about Laszlo dating an insecure reader that sometimes doesn't think they deserve him because they think they're not smart enough... not like I'm projecting or something 😅

Thank you for your time and I love your writing! ✨✨✨

I feel you on this 😅

- John didn't want you involved in the case of the murdered boys, because after all, he thought that something like that would be too horrific for his younger sister to see and although you did find it all terribly ghastly you wanted to help as much as you could, and rather you quite enjoyed spending company with one of John's closest friends Dr. Laszlo Kreizler.

- You were always John's youngest sister, whenever he brought his friends from Harvard around for dinner and drinks he would simply mention you in passing as you watched them come in. "Ah yes this is my younger sister y/n Moore, bare her no mind, I believe the drinks are this way" and you adored your brother even if at times he seemed embarrassed by you, so you would try and get involved in their nights together but he would hurry you away. "This is no place for a young girl like you" he would tell you, pushing you out of the door which you found dreadfully unfair as you were only a few years younger than him.

- Laszlo caught your interest pretty quickly. He was the most introverted out of all of John's friends, usually standing at the side and just observing the door. But his quiet persona caught your interest. You tried to talk to him in the times John wasn't around to push you away and he was polite to you. He wasn't like John's other friends who treated you like a child, he spoke to you as if you were an adult on the same grounds at him. The conversation could be awkward, both of you not really sure what to say, but you enjoyed seeing him scramble for words, things to say to you.

- After John moved out you saw less and less of him, and you hardly saw Laszlo anymore which upset you deeply. Over the years you became a lady and was soon expected to court and marry. Already you were past the time most people married and people were starting to ask questions. Your family were trying to convince you to marry, including John but how could you ever marry when your heart already belonged to the Alienist. Your life had been relatevily easy, you never went to university like your brother as that was not what women did, instead you spent your days learning hobbies, going shopping with your friends, attending social events. The norms.

- You weren't really sure how you ended up involved in the murdered boys investigation, you suppose as you found out John was involved that was your ticket to involve yourself as well no matter how much it displeased him. Really you cared for all the boys and you wanted to capture this murderer, but you knew the real reason for helping was to be able to see Laszlo again after all these years.

- But you knew you weren't any help. How could you? You were simply a higher class woman with no skills within any of these areas, simply getting involved because she could. You were convinced any day now Laszlo would ask you not to help out anymore as you had no purpose. But he didn't. He allowed you to stay around even with John's complaining. He would often ask you questions that were bugging him, wanting to hear your opinion. Soon when he found John a bore he asked you to accompany him to dinner, or to the Opera, or even to the park to think. Eyebrows might have been raised at such requests, how much time you were spending together without courting but you didn't mind for you were over the moon at being able to spend all this time with him without your brother.

- Soon it was like you were spending every moment with him, to the point where even John was noticing and making remarks which you and Laszlo brushed off. But one evening this was all confronted. It was late at the institute, you and Laszlo had chosen to stay behind to go over some of the new information while John and Sara had left. To help you and Laszlo had a drink of wine, which lead to two drinks, which then lead to three. Soon enough you two were sitting in the chairs in his office, laughing and joking around.

- You were so happy, and as you looked upon him, seeing how bright his eyes were, how his cheeks were tinged red, you knew if you didn't say something now you would come to regret it. And so there in his office, late in the night and slightly drunk, you confess the love for him that you have kept within yourself for years, the love that you have every time he is near and how much you wish you could be Mrs. Kreizler instead of Miss. Moore.

- Laszlo paled and stumbled with his words. At first, you worried it might have been a mistake and hastily you move to leave the room embarrassed and ashamed. But Laszlo was quick to stop you, pulling you back towards him. From his lips tumbles the words about how he shouldn't, how you are John's little sister, how John would kill him. But then his lips meet yours and everything felt right. Everything was how it should have been.

- John got a dreadful shock the next day seeing you and Laszlo arm in arm. He almost collapsed on the spot if Sara hadn't caught him. He had to sit down with the both of you and talk about how the hell this had happened, what this meant for the future, accepting the fact that Laszlo was now to become his brother-in-law. But eventually, he admitted he was happy for both of you.

- Everything was perfect, the case was solved, you and Laszlo were happily married, it was everything you had ever dare dream about and yet you still felt out of place. Laszlo was a brilliant mind, you were amazed day after day by all the knowledge he had, how he was able to help your patients. Usually, when people met Laszlo they assumed his significant other would have the same brains as him, yet you didn't. You were just like every other upper-class woman.

- It's not as if you didn't try. While Laszlo was out you would go into his office and pick out a book, trying to read it in the hope of improving your knowledge but it didn't work. Nothing stuck in. You felt the room feeling worse than when you entered. You would often stare into the mirror trying to figure out why Laszlo decided to marry you because it obviously wasn't for your intelligence. Was it for your looks? Perhaps he felt pity that you confessed your love that he courted you as he would have felt bad otherwise, or could the worst situation be true and that it was because you were John's sister?

- Laszlo came home early one night and found you crying because of it. You hadn't meant for him to see you but you didn't even know he was there until he came into the room. He held you in his arm for a minute, rubbing your back and letting you cry into his chest so you can let it all out. Eventually, when your tears dried up gently he moved his arm to hold your head up, making you look at him. "You don't give yourself enough credit mine Liebling, I always value your opinion and deductions and you are skilled in ways you don't even realise. Intelligence isn't dependent on academic success."

- He knew. Of course, a brilliant mind of Laszlo knew what was wrong without you even needing to say a word. "I just feel like I don't deserve you Laszlo" you whisper and his eyes soften, "I often feel the same way y/n" he murmurs, "I feel like you deserve better, a man who can hold you with both his arms, who can offer you a life where people won't look down at you for marrying a social outcast. A man who can give you so much more than I can. And every day I wake up beside you and I wonder what a truly lucky man I've become"

- Even throughout all of the doubts the both of you had, each of you knew how much you loved each other and with that, it was enough to cast aside any insecurities and doubts the two of you might have had.

TAGS: @shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemosimp420 @kadeuuijib @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sky-writes-stuff @rhinestxn-e @davianos-blog @mywinterivy @xxlumos @cathana2264 @ajokeformur-ray @nev3rfound @unbeatablecurlgirl

[weelittleweasley]

may i sit? (h.p.)

prompt requested by @oh-no-whoopsie: from what you were taught, slytherins and gryffindors weren’t supposed to get along, much to your dismay. a certain gryffindor had caught your eye and you desperately wanted him to know who you were. when you are having a bad day, you receive comfort from an unexpected guest...

pairing: harry potter x fem! slytherin reader

warnings: crying, anxiety, isolation, loneliness

word count: 2.4k

It was never explained to you as a first year student, but you had always followed the unspoken rule that Slytherins and Gryffindors had a merciless rivalry. You feared being ostracized by your house if you were to befriend a Gryffindor that someone had a vendetta against, so instead you focused on maintaining friendships within your house. This way, there was no risk of being outcast and strengthened the relationships with those who were similar in personalities to you.

However, you did feel like your lack of interaction with some Gryffindors made you miss out on exciting experiences. Since you were friendly with the Weasleys, you didn’t get invited to common room parties that they threw, you didn’t get invited to study sessions with Granger in the library, you didn’t hang out in the courtyards with Longbottom. You just stuck to your non-Gryffindor friends and hoped that it would be enough. 

But you did find days where you would longingly find yourself watching as Hermione Granger looped her arm with Harry Potter’s, throwing her head back in laughter at something he had said in passing. He would lightly smile as he watched his best friend laugh before shaking his head and rolling his eyes. His eyes...what would it be like to stare into those beautiful green eyes...

Only problem was when Harry did catch your eyes, your cheeks flushed a bright crimson red as you darted you gaze away from him. It was like it felt wrong to look at him. If someone caught you stealing longing glances at him, that they would tell everyone else in Slytherin house and that would be the breaking point. 

So instead of letting yourself look at him and him to you, you would bury your head into some other business and brush aside the thoughts that crept into your mind of what it would be like for the Chosen One to speak your name on his lips. 

You thought it was silly for you to have a crush on Potter. First of all, majority of your house didn’t like the boy at all. In fact, they found him arrogant and self-absorbed, and immature. Secondly, you had little to no interaction with him through out your five years with him at Hogwarts. Maybe once you bumped into him at the library and muttered a sorry to each other, but nothing more. No real conversations. Even though you craved to know more about him than just general knowledge, you would remind yourself that it wasn’t in Slytherins’ nature to befriend Gryffindors. 

And again the cycle continued of being with your non-Gryffindor friends, watching Gryffindors’ friendships blossom, daydream of what could be, sigh over Harry Potter, distract yourself from Harry Potter, and repeat. 

It became exhausting at times. Constantly having to tell yourself no to something that you really wanted. Something that you knew you would enjoy. You knew that you would get along well with people like the Weasleys and Granger and Potter and Thomas and Longbottom. It didn’t matter that your house was different from theirs. But the fear of not being accepted by your own house consumed you to the part where it would drive you to tears on occasion.

Loneliness was always a fear of yours. You had always liked to surround yourself with people you loved, friends, family, or both. It was their presence that made you feel warm and comforted. But some days, it was hard to not feel alone. There were days where you wished your house wasn’t so competitive or pretentious. You wished that your house could let down its guard and actually enjoy school for what it was rather than view it as a jungle, a competition. Hunter and prey. Keeping up with it all was exhausting and you were exhausted to say the least.

Wallowing in your pity, you found a small bench in the outdoor hallways of Hogwarts, knees pulled up to your chest as you rested your back against the concrete wall, the cool temperature calming your warm body. You sniffled and wiped small tears that fell from your eyes as you cried quietly to yourself.

You loved your Slytherin house friends, you really did. They were fiercely loyal to you and would defend you at the drop of a hat. They were funny and witty and charming and intelligent and you loved being around them. But sometimes, you wished that they would be more open to the idea of being around new people. People who were different in nature, but majority of them protested. Pansy would always argue, “We have everything we need in each other, (Y/N). Why would we go out and make friends with others when we are perfectly fine on our own?” She earned the nods of a few heads as you sighed in defeat.

Maybe to see what being with others with different interests and wants and desires in life would be refreshing. Being around Gryffindors could bring a new sense of excitement into your life. It could be good; a change. A new start. 

But that wasn’t realistic. You knew that if you became friends with a Gryffindor secretly, your friends would give you hell for it. They would implore you on why you needed someone else, a Gryffindor, as a friend. Especially if it were someone like-

“Are you alright?” a voice interrupts your thoughts as you sniffle and look in the direction of the voice.

Standing a little down the hall a couple feet away was the boy with those captivating green eyes. Harry Potter wore a concerned expression on his face as he watched you wipe away the tears that gently fell from your eyes. His green eyes stared into yours, hoping that you would answer him. 

Your heart beats a little quicker at the sight of him and you blinked a few times to make sure this wasn’t some sort of hallucination or prank being pulled on you. Quickly snapping out of it, you spoke, “Yeah, yeah,” wiping your eyes, “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Harry took a few steps closer to you, very cautiously as to not make you skittish. He knew that his presence could make some people wary or uncomfortable, so he tried to approach the situation of an already crying girl very carefully. “You sure?” he implores. “I don’t like seeing people alone. Especially if they’re upset...”

His concern for you was endearing, especially since you had barely spoken to each other before. You wipe your nose on the cuff of your jumper as you shake your head. “It’s alright. I’m used to it at this point, I guess,” you shrug, the words falling from your mouth as Harry gives you a concerned look. You did this often? his eyes seemed to ask as you shook your head. “Not like that,” you let out a light laugh. “I guess I’m just...” you start before realizing who you’re talking to. With a gulp and a look at him, you shake your head, “Never mind, it’s not important anyway.”

Before you can rise from the bench to excuse yourself to go to the Slytherin common room and pull yourself together, Harry stops you. “You don’t have to go,” Harry sticks his hands out, preventing you from rising. “I mean, I’m the one who interrupted you, I should be going,” he insists as you give him a small smile. “But I can assure you, whatever you were upset about isn’t something to brush off if it made you sad enough to cry,” he gives you a sad smile. 

You sigh and shake your head. “You’re right,” you admit with a surrendering smile as Harry returns one. “But you don’t need to leave either. This isn’t my hallway,” you joke as he gives you another smile.

The two of you watch each other for a moment, in silence, taking the other in. Harry notices how he’s seen you around a few times and maybe chatted to you before, but didn’t know you well enough to strike up conversation. But for some reason, Harry felt compelled to sit and talk with you tonight. It was like he was supposed to stumble upon you like this. Harry clears his throat. “May I sit?” he asks quietly.

Your heart flutters and an involuntary smile appears on your cheeks as you nod your head. “Of course,” you scoot over on the bench so Harry can sit next to you comfortably. 

Harry takes the spot next to you with a smile and turns toward you as you lean back on the concrete wall. “I’ve seen you around before, but I don’t think I know your name,” he speaks. “I’m Harry,” he extends his hands to you, offering a shake.

With a small smile, you accept his gesture. “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you, Harry,” you tell him as he nods. “You don’t have to feel obligated to sit with me because you walked in on me crying though,” you try to excuse him, but Harry profusely shakes his head.

“No, no, no,” he speaks. “I want to make sure you’re not alone. In case you need someone to talk to...” he offers as you give him a sad smile. “We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to though. I can sit here and you can talk and I can listen. Or you don’t need to talk and I can distract you. Or we can just sit here until you feel better,” he gives you a happy smile.

Could the boy be any more perfect? You practically swooned at his words, he was so thoughtful to someone he had literally just formally met seconds ago. And yet he was so kind and gentle with you. The thought alone of him wanting to be there for you was overwhelmingly genuine. For someone with as much status and popularity as Harry, you didn’t expect him to be so down to Earth. 

You quietly thank Harry as he nods, understanding completely. The two fo you sit in silence for a little while as you collect your thoughts, feelings, and emotions before sighing. “I guess,” you start. “I feel a little lonely sometimes,” you admit to the Gryffindor. Harry nods his head, completely understanding. “I have great friends and a wonderful family,” you tell him, “but sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I’m so lonely here.” Harry hangs onto every word that comes out of your mouth, intently listening to what you have to say. “I do like being a Slytherin. Both of my parents were,” you tell him. “But I want to branch out and be friends with other people who aren’t Slytherin.”

Harry gives you a puzzled look. “What’s holding you back?” he asks.

Sighing, you speak, “I know that not all Slytherins are fond of other houses. Especially Gryffindors,” you look at Harry who just chuckles. “I fear that if I do become friends with others, especially Gryffindors, I’ll be ostracized by my friends in Slytherin,” you confide in him.

Harry shakes his head and sighs. He understood in a way about what you were going through. The pressure could be a lot for someone and he hated the look on your face as you expressed your situation to him. Harry wished he could make things better, he really wanted to. “Can I give you a bit of advice?” he speaks as you nod. “Let’s say you do become friends with a Gryffindor,” he says, “and your Slytherin friends do that to you,” he continues as you clench at his words, “and I’m not saying they will,” he retaliates before continuing, “but if they do...(Y/N), those people aren’t your friends.” Harry gives you a soft look as you sigh, knowing that he had a point. “Friends don’t come along with terms and conditions,” he speaks. “They are friends. They are supposed to support you. Not support you when it suits their best interest.”

His words were very true and carried a wise beyond his years weight. But it was illuminating to you in a way you didn’t think of before. His insight was much needed. “You’re right, Harry,” you sigh as he smiles, his advice succeeding in bringing you clarity. “Thank you.”

He beams, “Surely.” You lightly chuckle. “With all that being said,” he starts. “I hope you know that we can surely be friends, (Y/N).” Your eyes widen and mouth lightly falls open. He wanted to be friends? Was this a sympathy move or did he genuinely want to get to know you? “I hope you don’t think I’m saying any of it because of the circumstances,” he clarifies, “I think you’re lovely.”

Your cheeks slowly burn as a smile inches its way onto your lips. He thinks I’m lovely. His kind words mean more to you than he’ll ever know. You give him a shy look before accepting, “I’d like to be friends, too, Harry.”

Harry smiles and for a moment, you think there’s a similar rosy hue on his cheeks. “Brilliant,” he speaks quietly. Carefully, he places a hand on yours, “I’d like to be there for you, (Y/N). Whenever you need it.”

The contact of his skin on yours makes your stomach do a flip as you gulp, eyes glued on his hand placed delicately on yours. Slowly, you look up at Harry who pushes his glasses up on his face as they fall on the bridge of his nose. He was quite adorable, wasn’t he? “The same goes for you, Harry,” you tell him. “I’m here.”

You gently squeezed his hand as you saw him inhale deeply. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes, observed the way they flickered and the way the colors danced. Harry’s eyes felt comforting and familiar; like you trusted him already for some odd reason. But you relished in the feeling of this new found comfort. 

The two of you gently peeled your hands away from each other before Harry clears his throat. “Before I saw you, I was on the way to the kitchens to snag a snack for Ron and I. Would you like to join me?” he asks with a light smile.

Nodding your head with a smile, you speak, “Sounds like fun. Plus, I know where the house elves keep the fresh biscuits.”

Harry chuckles, “I think we’re going to be good friends, (Y/N).”

The two of you laugh and start making your way to the kitchens. But you had to agree with Harry. You had a really good feeling about this friendship.

[angryschnauzer]

Blackwater Lake - Chapter 3

Summary: There’s a little town high in the mountains where everyone has a secret, and every family has something that makes them unique. In Blackwater Lake those that are outcast by nature come together.

Characters/Pairing:  August Walker x OFC Freya (Forest Nymph) Original Female Character is described as white/pale, short and of small build, hazel eyes, long dark hair.

Warnings (for this chapter); Talk of past abusive relationships, on the run, alcohol consumption, Daddy Kink, DD/LG, Pet names, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, hyperspermia, cum play, cum feeding, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy test.

Previous Parts: 

Werewolf!Sy: Moonlight on the Sand  Castle Under The Stars. Werewolf!Sy, Vampire!Walter: Chapter 1 Vampire Walter: Chapter 2

This will be a series of stand alone stories/2 parters, which will revolve around the residents of the town, with some recurring characters. The ‘reader’ for each story will be a ‘new’ reader, so its not the same woman being with all the male characters.

I do not run a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications. You’ll then get an alert every time i post something new.

Blackwater Lake - Chapter 3

The blood slowly trickled across the board and off the table, coating the floor before running into the drain. August raised the heavy cleaver, and with one thunderous swipe severed the femur clean in two. The cleaver made a metallic clang that echoed around the stark tile lined room, and wiping his hands on his apron he lifted the product of his work and inspected his efforts closely. A smile spread over his lips as he looked up;

“There we go Mrs Mackenzie, a nice juicy bone for your dog”

The old woman smiled, her purple tinted grey hair in tight curls that barely moved as she nodded;

“Oh yes, that’ll be perfect! My Clarence will love it!”

At that very moment Clarence started yapping outside where he was tied to the specials chalkboard that sat on the sidewalk outside Walkers Meats, 10lbs of teeth, fur and anger wrapped into the body of a small West Highland Terrier;

“I’m sure he will. I’ll wrap it up for you and Freya will finish ringing up your order for you. We’ll get it delivered this afternoon…”

August walked around the counter and set the wrapped bone into the box, nodding to his assistant to finish up the order. She knew that the bone would be free of charge, but that Mrs Mackenzie would insist on tipping and sliding her $10 which August was more than happy for Freya to keep. The slight girl turned and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, before she quietly nodded and continued with her duties.

Returning to the butchery area August glanced up and caught sight of his reflection in the painted mirror, the design obscuring the scarring on the side of his face, giving him that moment of relief from those memories of a past long ago, a life he had left behind when he had sought out quiet solitude in the peaceful mountain town of Blackwater Lake. People minded their own business there and didn’t ask questions. If you had a skill that could help others you were welcomed into the community. How August got into the meat business is a story for another day, but as his gaze travelled across the mirror to where Freya was measuring out the wild herb mixes into small mason jars he smiled and remembered instead how she came into his life.

-

Pulling the sign in from the sidewalk August was exhausted. Running a business completely on his own had seemed like a good idea when he’d started, he enjoyed his own company and he distrusted anyone else to do the job to a standard he would approve of. What he hadn’t counted on was the residents of this sleepy little town not only accepting him, but joyous that he was there and wanting to talk endlessly every time they visited his store. Although he was always polite and did his best to end conversations quickly, after eight hours of it he had jaw ache and knew he would need to work well into the night on the new sides of beef that had been delivered that morning if he were to have any stock to sell the next day. He glanced longingly at the small sign that sat propped up in the window; ‘Help Needed - Enquire Within’, yet he hadn’t had any takers in the month the sign had been up. 

The icy winter wind curled at his neck, sending a shiver down his spine as he let out a sigh, heaving the heavy sign into the building so it didn’t blow away in the night as a icy squall blew in from the mountains. As the door slammed shut behind him it echoed a knock around the store, but when it came again he turned and let out a far from masculine yelp; the face of a pale young woman stared back at him like a ghoul in the darkness. Clearing his throat and smoothing down his blue and white striped apron, he approached the door and opened it;

“May I help you Miss?”

She nodded down to the sign;

“Do you still need someone?”

Her teeth were chattering, and it was hardly surprising as she was barely dressed for the weather, the knitted cardigan doing little to ward off the cold wind. August opened the door to allow her to enter, looking down at the top of her head as she slunk past him.

“Let me get a pot of coffee on, you must be freezing”

As he disappeared into the back office he set the pot of coffee on to heat before grabbing an old jacket that was hanging on the back of the door, returning to where his visitor stood in the store a few moments later, handing her the jacket;

“Its cold in here, we can’t have the heat on because of the meat”

Nodding she took the jacket, her teeth still chattering;

“T-t-thanks… its still warmer than outside”

He handed her a mug of steaming coffee;

“Sorry, i don’t have any creamer or sugar…” She wrapped her delicate fingers around the mug using it more for heat than sustenance as he leant back against the counter on the other side of the store; “So… you’re wanting a job? What experience have you got? You worked in retail?”

She shook her head and muttered a quiet no, keeping her eyes averted from him as she spoke;

“But i will try anything… just looking for a new start”

“Are you running from something?” A gentle nod of her head and the way she clutched the mug tighter told August it was a someone not a something; “Look, if you’re willing to learn, work hard and pay attention, i’ll give you a trial. I’ve gotta level with you, you’re the only person who’s shown any interest in the sign, and i’m getting desperate, so if you want you can start tomorrow”

Her head snapped up and for the first time he saw her eyes, deep hazel peering out from behind long strands of dark brown hair;

“Really?”

“Yes. Really” he stated in a matter of fact way; “I’ll need to get your address and details for the wages…”

“Oh… i’m not… i’ve not got anywhere. I guess i’ll find a cheap motel…”

August paused;

“Kid, there’s no motel in town… at least not this time of year. But i might have a solution for you”

Her eyes widened in fear and August realised whatever she was running from had done more damage than she showed;

“No no, not that” he assured her; “There’s a small apartment above the shop - two in fact, i’ve got one and the other i’ve never rented out, never got round to it… its small but completely self contained, your own entrance and everything, completely secure”

Once a few forms had been filled out August had gotten the girl settled in the small studio apartment. He’d shown her how the fold out bed worked, explained that the hot water fed off the furnace for the whole building so she could use as much as she wanted. A couple of minutes after he’d left her in the apartment he knocked at her door, surprised to hear the locks sliding across at first, but then realising she needed to feel safe. When she peered around the door she almost looked surprised to see him there, as if it would be anyone else;

“Umm yeah?”

August handed her a box of things he’d scavenged from his own kitchen;

“Here’s just a few things to see you through the night… I haven’t been grocery shopping in a while, but the bread was in the freezer and it’ll defrost pretty quickly if you put it in the toaster”

He handed the box to Freya, surprised at how smooth but also small her hands were as she took it from him as they brushed against his own. She nodded and smiled;

“Thank you Mr Walker”

“Night. See you bright and early tomorrow morning” 

-

The next morning August woke to an insistent knocking on his door. Grumbling to himself he pulled on his robe and stalked across his small apartment, pulling the door open with a thunderous look on his face, ready to give whatever maniac that was knocking on his door at 5am a piece of his mind;

“WHAT THE… oh… hi…”

Freya was standing on his doormat, a look of shock on her face;

“Hi… i’m ready to start”

“To… start?”

“Work. You said bright and early”

August ran his palm over his face;

“I… When i said…” he let out a long slow breath; “I meant 8am”

“Oh.”

That was a long day, but by lunchtime Freya had mastered the cash desk and had already started to come out of her shell, the locals more than welcoming for the tiny girl with the woodland eyes, and with her help August was able to catch up on his work.

Over the following month her input had helped August expand his products, suggesting a range of seasonings in reusable jars, where if the customer returned the mason jar they’d get a discount off the next one they purchased. He discovered she had this unfathomable knowledge of herbs and plants, but also had this connection with nature he couldn’t quite understand. He’d sometimes catch her staring out of the window at the trees blowing in the wind, as if listening to their songs that were beyond his own ears.

One thing was for sure, there was a sense of magic to her and August thanked the stars above that she walked into his store on that cold winter night.

-

Back in the present August was busy cleaning the cutting table as Freya busied herself with her jars - it was her own little enterprise now and one she was absolutely proud of. He could see that she kept glancing outside, gnawing on her lip;

“Freya, everything ok?”

“Yes Mr Walker. I was just thinking, the next batch wild garlic is ready to be picked, if i collect some this afternoon i can have more chimichurri mixed ready for tomorrow, and that’s when the beef delivery is coming in”

August let out a chuckle;

“How many times do I have to say to call me August…” he met her gaze with a smile; “And yes, that sounds like a brilliant idea. The store’s quiet and i’ll be doing deliveries in a while, so sure, go exploring”

“Thank you Mr Walker”

August rolled his eyes and let out a laugh, watching as she hung up her apron and grabbed her foraging basket, skipping out of the door and towards the creek that fed into the lake a couple of miles away.

-

Three hours later August was driving back along the gravel road that led into town, having made his deliveries. The spring air was damp but warm, rain threatening to spill but the clouds unwilling to release their bounty just yet. Rounding the bend he looked out over the soft marshland, the grass knee high already and he saw a familiar figure stepping through the green undergrowth. With a smile he pulled his SUV to a stop at the side of the road, stepping out of the vehicle he leaned against the door as he watched Freya as she slowly made her way through the field, before she stopped as her attention moved to the treeline. Following her gaze he watched as a bear emerged from the woods and his heart sank. The native wildlife would be coming out of hibernation, and would be grumpy and hungry. He went to shout but a sudden rush of wind silenced his voice, watching as she held her arm out and the grass flattened in front of her as if a wind devil had made its way through. Glancing back to the bear it had stopped in its tracks but was still staring at her, but then started to circle around on the spot before settling down as if for a nap.

August anxiously watched, knowing if Freya ran she could make it to the car as long as the bear was weak, but he didn’t want to risk that it hadn’t had a belly full of salmon yet, so he quickly reached into the vehicle and pulled his unregistered handgun from beneath his seat. Back at the side of the road he raised the firearm at the bear, glancing at Freya who had now spotted him waiting for her. She started to quicken her pace through the grasses, eventually breaking into a run as she neared the embankment of the road. August glanced to where the bear had been and let out a yell as he saw it was starting to approach them;

“Freya, RUN!”

Doing as he instructed she broke into a sprint, her legs carrying her through the grass and up the embankment. Flinging his door open he motioned for her to dive in, her basket being launched into the passenger footwell as she tumbled across the centre console and into the passenger seat, August launching himself into the driver's seat and gunning the engine as he slammed the door shut, the urgent crunch of tyres on loose gravel dulling the sound of the grizzly’s roar as it had caught up, but was now rapidly disappearing into the distance of the rear view mirror.

August only slowed down as he reached the urban centre of Blackwater Lake, Freya’s breathing having finally levelled out as she turned to him;

“So… there’s bears here?”

He slowed the vehicle and pulled to a stop in a parking lot before turning to her;

“Yes. And moose and cougars and mountain lions… hell sometimes I even hear howls in the night so there’s probably something wolfy up in those mountains too… We need to get you better prepared for nature” August paused; “And what was that thing you did with your hand? That made the grass flatten and the bear sit down…”

Freya shrugged;

“I’m not sure… it's just this thing i’ve always been able to do, calm animals down”

“Huh. Didn’t seem to work this time…”

She glanced at him, her eyes wide;

“I think that was because you were there…”

August let out a laugh, before sitting back in his seat;

“Okay, point taken. I need a drink. We’re at Big-G’s, I'll buy you dinner…”

-

August regretted his decision. He hadn’t factored in how slight Freya was in comparison to her ability to consume alcohol, so three drinks later where all he’d had was lite beer, Freya was completely wasted. The giveaway was when she’d fallen asleep on his shoulder whilst he’d been talking to Geralt - the bar owner - and she’d started to drool on his shirt. Geralt had told him to ‘get his girl home’ with a wry laugh, telling August his meal was on the house. Something had stopped August from correcting the ashen haired man, looking down at the imp of the girl leaning on him. 

He’d managed to carry her to his car fairly easily but the journey up the steps at their building had been more of a challenge. He’d managed to get her to wrap her arms around his shoulders, but had been surprised when she’d also wrapped her legs around his waist. Although it meant he could use one arm to hold her up, the feel of her warm body clinging to his sent a rush of heat through his stomach straight to his groin, he was just thankful she was so out of it she didn’t notice the tent in his pants. 

As he juggled his keys he found the spare for her apartment but then thought better of it, unsure how she was when she’d had alcohol, and instead opened his own apartment. Crossing the almost dark room he reached the couch and slowly lowered her down to the cushions, her whimpers of loss as he started to pull away making him pause;

“Mmmm Daddy, you’re so warm…” 

Holding her still a low rumble slowly bubbled through his throat when she nuzzled against his neck;

“Daddy smells so good…” and she pressed a kiss to the stubble on his chin.

August knew she was drunk, probably didn’t even realise it was him, after all who would want someone as broken and scarred as he was, but for that briefest of moment’s he relished her touch and what was going on in her tequila addled mind. He couldn’t help himself and pressed the briefest of kiss to her cheek;

“Time to sleep now little Kitten” he muttered before reluctantly uncoupling himself from her grasp, pulling a blanket over her as she dozed on his couch. Raking his hand down his face he let out a sigh, before grabbing a glass of water and setting it onto the coffee table in front of her. A scribbled note on the back of a flyer explained that she was drunk and he wasn’t sure if she would need his help, and he didn’t want to invade her privacy of her own apartment.

Having poured himself a generous glass of vodka, August withdrew to his own bedroom, silently closing the door before stripping for bed. It was an early night but without the TV to entertain him and no desire to get lost in a book, he settled on top of the covers in just his underwear, sipping at the ice cold liquor as he willed the swelling of his loins to subside. However every time he tried to clear his mind, all he could imagine was Freya. The thought of her small body beneath his, their bodies sweaty and writhing as one. Finally with a curse he gave in to his desires, pulling his underwear down and taking his hard length into his hand, pumping dry to increase the friction as his mind descended further into taboo territory. He imagined it was her hand, calling him Daddy as she asked if she was doing it right, that her perfect lips would duck down and take his bulbous tip into her mouth, her tongue lapping at his slit as her hazel eyes would stare back up at him, wide with innocence. With a strangled cry he came in violent spurts, covering his hand and stomach in ropes of his cum, thoughts of the delicate woman in his lounge lapping at his spent seed prolonging his orgasm until he was aching and empty. With a curse he looked down at the mess he’d made, realising he needed to clean himself up.

-

The quiet click of his front door woke August the next morning, pushing himself up off the pillow as he heard small footsteps down the outside of the building and the quiet beep of his car being unlocked. Wondering what the hell was happening he leapt out of bed and peered out of the window, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw a dishevelled Freya gathering the wild garlic that had been scattered around his inside of his vehicle the day before.

A few minutes later the thud of his keys falling onto his doormat where she’d posted them through the letterbox sounded through his apartment, and when he went to collect them he found a small note with them;

‘Mr Walker, thank you for your help, I hope I didn't make a fool of myself last night. Your car stinks of garlic now, i’m going to walk up the creek and collect some herbs that will help reduce the odour, Freya x’

-

An hour later when she hadn’t returned, August set off towards the creek through the pleasant woodland, the sunlight leaving dappled patches of gold on the forest floor. Coming to the wide bend in the creek where the water was shallow, he saw the swing over the water that someone had put there years ago, mismatched ropes and a wooden seat, and how someone had now woven wildflowers into the ropes, and as he glanced upstream he saw Freya knee deep in the water, a butterfly dancing on her hand.

Something overcame him and he pulled off his boots and socks, rolling up his pants as he stepped out into the water and sat on the swing, silently watching as she charmed nature beyond a simple human’s comprehension, having control of the elements like a forest nymph. August had seen a lot of unusual things in the time he’d lived in Blackwater Lake, he knew those that had something a little special about them gravitated towards the sleepy little mountain town, so as he watched Freya make her way upstream towards him he realised there was magic in the air. Small water spouts rose from the water as she took each step, as if chasing after her touch as she stepped from rock to rock submerged under the water. 

As she approached the shallow bend in the creek she finally looked up and saw August, a smile spreading over her lips;

“Hi”

“Hi”

“Its so pretty here, isn’t it?” she asked wistfully

“Beautiful from where i’m sitting”

She approached where he sat, stopped at arms reach, a hint of blush warming her cheeks;

“I’m sorry if I was inappropriate last night… thank you for taking care of me, i’m not a big drinker”

“You weren’t inappropriate…” he reassured her; “But it's been a while since a beautiful woman called me Daddy… since before… since before i was broken...”

Her gaze moved to the scar on the side of his face, and without a word she stepped forward and pressed her hand to the spidery scarring. In that moment August felt the magic in her touch, prickling at his skin before she nimbly climbed onto his lap, her legs wrapping around his waist and she lowered her lips to his, softly brushing against his as she spoke;

“You’re not broken, no more than I am…”

The kiss was soft and slow, and as her tongue started to gently tease at the seam of his lips she eased her weight completely onto his lap, her core pressing to his, the heat of their growing lust growing like an ember between them. 

Her small tongue licked into his mouth, tasting him as she pressed her body flush to his chest, small whimpers coming from her as his hands splayed over her back and pulled her firmly down onto his growing arousal. When the need for oxygen finally took precedence August’s lips traced a path of kisses down her jaw and neck, her fingers winding through his dark curls as her head fell back to give him better access to the pale expanse of her collarbone;

“Oh Daddy…”

“That’s it my little one, i’m going to treat you so well, my little Kitten…” August’s mustache brushed against her heated skin as he spoke, the gentle sway of the swing letting their bodies move against each other.

Just at that moment an ominous creak sounded above them, drawing their attention up into the tree’s canopy, just in time to see the rope that held the swing up snap, plunging them down into the shallow creekwater below.

With shouts and screams the moment of passion was lost, taken over by the shock of the water hitting their heated skin. August helped Freya up, her dress plastered to her skin in much the same way his shirt was, soaked head to toe he shook the water from his hair;

“Home?”

“Yes Daddy” Freya purred, pulling into his touch as he wrapped an arm around her to help her out of the water.

-

Pushing in the door to his apartment, clothes were being pulled from each other's bodies even as the door was still ajar. As he pulled his shirt off, Freya’s hands were curling into the hair on his chest, an almost feral growl bubbling from her lips as she ran her hands down to his stomach and rested on the buckle of his belt. Catching her hands in his he held them gently, only speaking when she looked up and met his gaze;

“Kitten, I want to be sure you want this… You’re in total control here, you set the boundaries, you say when you need to stop. But if you do want this, i’ll be your Daddy and take care of you like a Princess”

Freya voice shook as she spoke;

“I want this… my last… he wanted to be my Daddy but didn’t treat me right. He took more than I could give…”

August lifted her small hands to his mouth, kissing each fingertip with such great care and tenderness her heart almost melted before she finally spoke again;

“We should really check for leeches”

“WHAT?!”

Freya had never seen anyone strip their clothing off quite as fast as August just had. For a big man - and a pretty tough one at that - the mere thought of little blood suckers had him stripping completely naked in a matter of seconds, Freya pulling her dress off a little slower until she stood in just her simple underwear. August was still patting himself down, turning to look at his behind;

“Am I ok?”

Freya couldn’t help herself, stepping forwards and taking two handfuls of August’s pert asscheeks, giving them a squeeze before running her palms over the perfectly rounded globes of his buttocks;

“More than ok”

In the following moments August carried her to his small bathroom, turning the shower on before he stepped under the warm jets of water, pulling her with him so he could soap her down. The scent of sandalwood of his soap as he carefully washed every inch of her body was overwhelming, taking care of her to wash any last traces of creek water from her body. He paused as he reached the apex of her thighs, waiting for her agreement which she quickly nodded for him to continue, his large hand sliding between her legs and caressing her lips. His skilled fingers soon sought out her pearl, teasing it gently from its hood before he slid a finger into her waiting heat, a cry falling from her lips which he quickly swallowed with a kiss. His work calloused hands quickly drove her to an orgasm - a first of many - and as she came she called his name, like a prayer on her lips. 

Shutting the water off, August carefully lifted her out of the bath, wrapping a large towel around her before scooping her into his arms and carrying her to his bed. On the messy covers her hair clung to her skin, before he carefully lifted the long tendrils from her chest and was able to take in the sight of her petite naked body laying fresh and prone on his bed. Her hand reached out for him, pulling him close;

“Daddy, I want to feel you…”

August smiled;

“Will you be a good girl for me Kitten? Do you think you can take me? You’re awfully small, and I'm pretty big…”

She sat up, pressing a hand to his chest;

“Can I try? Can I go on top?”

Nodding August lay on the bed, propped up against the pillows, lifting her petite frame on top of him. He watched with pleasure as she wriggled down the bed, her hands gripping his thighs as she settled between his legs. Wrapping her small hands around his generous length she looked up at him as she started to give small licks to his hot flesh, her fingers struggling to encircle his meaty girth. Opening her mouth she took a good three inches between her lips straight away, a litany of curses falling from August’s lips as he felt the hot wet heat of her mouth engulf him. It was better than he could ever had imagined, and he had to grip at the bedsheets to stop himself from cumming at that very moment. Steadying his breathing he let out a low sigh before he reluctantly pulled her off, a trail of spittle hanging between his dick and her mouth;

“But Daddy, I want to taste your cum…”

“I know Kitten, but it's going to be a lot the first time, and I want to see your cunt dripping with me, knowing your tight little pussy is going to overflow with the amount I'm going to pump into you. Now be a good girl and see what you can do, let's make it fit…”

Straddling his thick thighs she positioned herself over his hard shaft, her hand holding him steady as she swiped him through her folds to douse his gnarled girth with her juices, before settling with the tip at her entrance. August ran his hands up and down her arms, comforting her and hoping to get her to relax. He was a patient man but the feel of her soaked flesh pressing against his crown was becoming a struggle not to grab her hips and pull her down until he was balls deep in one swift thrust.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Freya slowly lowered herself onto August’s shaft, going at a pace she could cope with, but the strain of holding back caused perspiration to bead on August’s forehead;

“Doing so well Kitten… I know its a lot, but you can do it… you’re so fucking tight…. Fuck…”

Taking a deep breath Freya finally let herself fall the rest of the way, feeling him part her silken walls until she was settled on his lap. Tears fell from her eyes, tiny diamonds adorning her cheeks at the overwhelming sense of fullness she was experiencing. Seeing these August kissed them away, his praises made her swell with pride as he admitted to her he was struggling not to cum from just the feeling of her tight walls engulfing him. He pushed a hand between their bodies, resting his palm on her stomach;

“Put your hand here… you’re so tiny I can feel myself deep inside you, your little tummy blown out with my dick…”

His thumb crept down and grazed at her pearl, making her cry out before yearning for more. With his ministrations she was soon relaxed enough to start to ride him, her nimble thighs bouncing on his meaty counterparts, feeling the slick push and pull as he filled her whilst she drove them towards their peak. 

Unsurprisingly Freya came first, the overwhelming pleasure that was coursing through her body was all too much to hold back, and she came with a silent scream, her body gripping August so tight it set him off, pushing in so deep he was sure his dick had kissed her cervix, before flooding her with endless ropes of his thick seed, soothing her inner core with his milky gift. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her to his chest, holding her tight as the floods of emotions surged through her, stroking her back tenderly.

Eventually he carefully lifted her onto the bed, peppering her bare skin with bristly kisses, before parting her thighs and leaning back to admire his handiwork, a thick sheen of white covering her swollen petals. With a single finger he carefully swiped through his mess, before holding it to her mouth;

“Taste Kitten… taste our passion…”

Holding onto his wrist she sucked the digit into her mouth, her tongue tasting their combined essence. When his finger finally dropped from her lips his gaze fell down and hers followed, her eyes going wide when she saw he was hard and ready for more. Laying back she hooked her hands behind her knees and spread herself open for him;

“Daddy, will you fill me up again, please?”

Positioning himself at her cum soaked hole August smiled, a dark hint of lust glinting in his eyes;

“It would be my pleasure Kitten”

-

Three weeks later

Freya chewed nervously on her lip, having circled the isles of the drug store too many times to count now, waiting for a time when there was no-one near what she needed. Finally it was the right moment and she slunk into the isle, grabbing the thin rectangular box before stepping back and bumping into someone, her item tumbling to the floor as a third set of feet appeared;

“Freya! Mrs Syverson! Good Morning!”

It was Sue from the coffee shop, having appeared seemingly out of nowhere just as Mrs Syverson had backed away from the opposite shelf to keep little baby Luna from grabbing the glass bottles of antacid medicine. Mrs Syverson immediately clocked what Freya had been holding;

“Oh Freya, could you just reach those things for me? I can’t reach down with Luna here…”

With shaking hands Freya handed the bag of cotton wool balls and the pregnancy test to the woman only a couple of years her senior, who in turn smiled at Sue as she laughed;

“Sy’s always keeping me on my toes… in more ways than one” She winked before tugging on Freya’s arm; “Sweetie, I need to place an order for a big cookout we have coming up for Sy’s birthday…”

Steering her away from town gossip Sue, Mrs Syverson lowered her voice;

“I’ll meet you outside sweetie, don’t worry about it, i saw you circling the shop”

A few minutes later Mrs Syverson appeared at the door, two drugstore bags in her hand before handing one to Freya;

“My advice, tell August now, do the test together”

“Are you sure? Do you think he’ll be angry?”

“Angry? Hell no, i think it’ll be what he wants, and no matter what the result he’s always had puppy dog eyes for you, we could all tell from the moment you walked into his life”

Peering into the bag Freya saw there was also a bag of Hershey’s kisses;

“You’ll need the sugar, to calm your nerves afterwards”

“Thanks Mrs S… i appreciate it”

“No problem Freya… and i’ll see you tomorrow, i really do need to place that order, but get today over and done with first”

That afternoon Freya and August took the test, then feasted on kisses of every kind.

[tishinada]

SWtOR AU Challenge

I was tagged by @starknstarwars​ and @cinlat​

The Rules:

The rules on this one are simple (for SWTOR players), go into the character creator and make an AU version of one of your characters. You can change literally anything about them. Class, allegiance, species, gender, ect.

OK, I’m not going into the CC because I haven’t logged into SWtOR since sometime last fall, I think. So have some art of punk rocker Ucevi done by the wonderfully talented and generous @sleepswithvillains​:

I wrote up a lot of notes about a punk rock AU for Ucevi and her friends a while back (which led to the art, lol), but it wasn’t placed in SWtOR itself.

So, building on things in Dance or planned for Dance (this is stream of consciousness onto paper, lol), AU!Ucevi wasn’t Force sensitive and ended up in Imperial Intellligence. She wasn’t suited to Zusae’s type of role, though, and instead was planted on Nar Shaddaa rather like Darmas Pollaran on Coruscant. She’s a bit of a wild card as agents go because she’s also working for the Old Man (which Keeper is aware of and accepts as the price of her connections.) In this AU, her own grandmother is alive and now acting as Grandmother with her sibling as heir apparent to the role. A cousin is the SW. Her brother is working with the Old Man so also on Nar Shaddaa.

Her cover simply bends the truth a bit: she’s from a notable Sith-blood house, but she refused to be shuffled off to the military to seek a glorious death when they found she wasn’t Force-sensitive. Her family paid her to leave the Empire, and she landed on Nar Shaddaa with a couple of other outcast friends (Joran, Tan’Koto, and one other person who hasn’t been introduced in Dance, also IAs.) They started out by playing small gigs here and there in seedy cantinas, and along the way, they pick up Vette (so she misses the tombrobbing trip to Korriban entirely,) and Jaesa (on Nar Shaddaa as servant to an Alderaanian noble on vacation because Noman Karr never met her in this AU.)

AU!Ucevi was trained in Sith Opera as well as the popular music forms. She and Tan’Koto are the lead singers, and Ucevi drums. They spend a few months listening to the most popular groups on Nar Shaddaa while limiting their early gigs to covers of popular songs. But once they get a sense of what has an audience, they shift gears and begin performing some of their own songs that blend Imperial and Huttese styles with an occasional song sung in Old Sith (Vette’s their ear to the ground and advisor and Jaesa is their keyboardist and arranger while Joran is an instrumentalist and the third agent handles all the technical side, like lighting.)

Tan’Koto, as mentioned in Dance, was good enough to get a significant role in a major opera despite being non-human. Ucevi’s voice is not quite his equal, but she has a stage presence. Together (they’ve been singing together almost their entire lives) they’re electrifying. Word gets around quickly and they begin getting gigs at better and better cantinas. Within a couple of years, they’re one of the most popular groups on Nar Shaddaa.

Which has set them up perfectly for their mission. Backstage passes are in demand, offering opportunities to target notables for Imperial Intelligence or build connections. But they do a lot of small private performances for parties and gatherings where the Hutts are doing business, and that’s the gold mine. Joran and the other agent have cutting edge recording devices that to all appearances seem to just be part of their sound equipment.

There’s a lot of potential there, but I’m probably never going to follow up on this one. But it’s fun to think about. Thanks!! Oh, and I am thoroughly enjoying AU!Ucevi in Cinlat’s Whiskey and Tihaar!

[iheartbookbran]

Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

[sepublic]

          If Escaping Expulsion ends with Luz and the others staying expelled from Hexside, I’m of course going to be depressed. For Willow and Gus it’s one thing, but also…

          For Luz, Hexside was something special to her, it meant a lot. It wasn’t just some fun place… In a way, it was almost like another home to her alongside the Owl House! Someplace she could be happy, a place with other friends she could look forward to, a place where Luz could reliably expect not just Willow and Gus, but Amity, the Detention Kids, etc.! 

         Hexside is a place where she’s accepted by peers her age, by society in a sense; Where Luz can interact with strangers, meet new people, and not have to immediately brace herself for rejection, thanks to the reputation and work she earned from being brave and mature!

          If anything, Luz can meet others, and expect love and support- People know Luz! Hexside is a place where the default opinion of Luz is actually pretty decent, thanks to her accomplishments at Grom, and her own victory at Grudgby! 

         Hexside is a place where Luz can learn and pursue her interests without having to worry about Eda, just all to herself- A monument to her own effort to earn multi-track learning, but also to Eda’s effort… Luz’s own presence at Hexside is proof that somebody else cares for her, enough to go out of their way and work for this. To get Luz this special, extra thing, even when it’s not necessary, just for Luz’s happiness and extra fulfillment, so she can get the best of anything!

          Hexside is also kind of a remedy of Luz’s past with traditional school; School, but done right, healed and fixed. A school experience that has replaced the negative associations like bullying and loneliness, getting called to the principal’s office, and instead replaced them with something good and positive!

         It’s a new set of experiences that has conquered Luz’s usual past and trauma with school, proven to her that things CAN be different, that it CAN work out for her, and she’s not JUST a freak- That she can indeed engage with the rest of society, and not just cut herself off from it entirely! She doesn’t have to be just alone… Luz doesn’t need wide acceptance, but it sure feels nice, and in a sense I think she got that at Hexside. Got to interact with other kids just like her, in an immediately positive, default manner.

          …But of course, Odalia and Alador took that from her. Luz just wants to be accepted, to feel like there isn’t something inherently wrong with her, and what they’re doing… It sends a different kind of message, forces her out. Violently and suddenly uproots everything Luz is familiar with, when she’s settled and finally relaxed and lowered her guard, and genuinely started to believe that she’s good and lovable and deserves nice things, that nice things WILL come to her! That she doesn’t always have to fight tooth and nail for that, just to constantly assert her worth and dignity as a person. Odalia and Alador took that from her, and even if Luz KNOWS that people do still like her there, that this is really just the effort of two prejudiced people who are hardly representative of anything worthwhile;

          It still of course hurts to be cut off like that, so forcibly. So suddenly. To have that barred, to have all of that opportunity and wondrous future, all of the possibilities and future interactions and potential friends that Luz had considered; To have that irreversibly, definitively taken away from her, out of some cruel spite for the very person she is, out of a disgust for that… That Luz’s own nature brought this about, in a sense.

         And even if Luz does enroll at another school like say Glandus, or is content with her home lessons with Eda… It still sucks to have that taken from her. To have someone tear apart such a huge portion of her life like that, to have that agency taken away from her. To just lose all of that, and all of the happy memories she had, and could’ve looked forward to… It’s all so frustratingly selfish of Odalia and Alador! 

         Hexside was a place where Luz made her mark, left a legacy, and now she can no longer interact with that, she’s been forcibly exiled, and it no doubt reminds her of the loneliness she’s used to back home. Luz feels like an outcast again, like she’s been rejected once more by a place that was home, or could have or should’ve been.

         Schools are supposed to be a safe place for kids, a place they can thrive- And now it was forcibly twisted into something hostile for Luz, yet again, when previously she thought that the change she made, really could’ve made a lasting difference. And of course what memories she DID make at Hexside still matter… But it would’ve been nice for things to stick around for once, for Luz to not have to brace herself for losing things. For once, it would’ve been neat for things to be nice and stay that way, to stay consistently safe for her, for Luz to not have to worry about the future or change or anything. She’s never taken that for granted, so why can’t she have that?

          Stuff like Hexside SHOULD be there for Luz, always, a kid deserves something to rely and depend on, to trust. And Odalia and Alador… They’re breaching that trust, because they can’t even keep their abuse within their own family, and have to attack others outside of it as well, people just minding their own business- It’s borderline intrusive and invasive, and makes people feel unsafe, that they can’t even mind their own business in their own space… 

         Now they have to actively defend that, keep others out when otherwise they could openly be invited in, and they were already so lonely to begin with. If they couldn’t have others with them, can they not at least have this particular space to themselves, without having to worry about others coming after them- Why can’t people like Luz, or Willow, or Gus or Eda or Amity, just be left alone!? Why can’t they just BE themselves, if it’s not actively harming anyone else?

          But of course, people like Odalia and Alador, or Belos, that’s not enough- And they’ll always need that kind of control, to project onto others like that. To decide for others, as part of some twisted entitlement on how things should be, for THEIR own sake really. And it’s because of people like them, that people like Luz, can’t just get nice things, have nice things, and keep them.

[meggannn]

one thing that bugs me within HZD fandom—or at least in a lot of reddit threads and the occasional tumblr note—is how the discussion of Aloy as the chosen one because of the circumstances of her birth always gets reframed around [REDACTED] in a way that discredits Aloy.

I do love the “hero is a rando” stories as much as the next person, but what I like about HZD is that it sets up Aloy to be some incredible savior and then it turns out... well, she might do cool things, but she’s kind of a jerk, actually! and she has every right to not want to help most people when she’s been hurt and mistreated by them for all of her young life.

Aloy is a hero, yes, but not because of her birth, but because she chooses to be one. and it’s a hard choice for her, because her natural inclination is to help herself—which is an understandable trait now that she is old enough to try to give herself what she was denied for nearly twenty years—and I like that they keep stressing that.

now that we’re under the cut I’m gonna talk spoilers.

Aloy is a great fighter and impressive machine-hunter and she is very smart, but that’s not because she’s Elisabet’s clone, but because she had to develop those skills to survive. every part about her personality and skillset can really be attributed to a few key elements about her: being an outcast and shunned and judged for something out of her control, growing up in the wilds in a world full of dangerous machines, not being raised with any sense of family or friends or community, and her feelings of loneliness. everything about her personality and abilities has a tie back to one or several of those things, either as a way to explain them, or overcome them. those were things Aloy did because she chose to chase the mystery of her past, but her Elisabet genes didn’t do them for her.

so it really does bug me when people talk about it as if it’s Elisabet’s acumen that should be given credit when we talk about why Aloy is the hero of her own story. I think we are far enough as a culture that we can acknowledge nurture plays a much bigger role in someone’s personality than nature, even for clones. (and I think this is why the Lightkeeper Protocol was doomed to fail anyway.) I think GAIA, when awake, may eventually struggle with this initially, calling her Elisabet instead of Aloy because it’s Elisabet she misses and wants to see again, and she doesn’t know Aloy at all—but she is an AI, and can adapt quickly.

but why I think it bothers me so much is that this “she’s a natural hero” narrative goes against Rost’s last lesson that he teaches Aloy in the prologue. Aloy’s flaws are that she is selfish and often self-centered, and doesn’t rely a lot on others, often to the point of discrediting their abilities. she barges into the Hunters Lodge and demands Talanah take her on as a thrush based on her own assumption that she’s as good a hunter, if not better, than most of the people in the building. she says “I’m faster on my own” to Erend’s incredulity, implying others would just slow her down. they’re completely understandable foibles for someone who has been alone and shunned by the world her entire life and learned to survive because of it.

but Aloy isn’t strong or smart or brave because she was a clone of Elisabet. she could have walked away from seeking revenge against the Eclipse, and arguably, she might have even done it if she hadn’t had a personal interest in the matter: finding out who Elisabet was. Sylens even calls her out multiple times for her short-sightedness in focusing on “what happened to Elisabet?” instead of "what happened to the world?” (I think in ELEUTHIA-9 she says something like "This is interesting, but it's not why I'm here though" and Sylens says sarcastically "Right, what's the whole of human history compared to the origins of one girl?")

again: it’s completely understandable that the girl raised with no family is looking for, y’know, her family, but I think it’s also a pointed choice by the writers: Aloy doesn’t really feel like she belongs to a tribe, so she feels, in some sense, that she has nothing to lose by antagonizing and refusing help to anyone. what are they going to do, banish her? her one lifeline is Rost: it’s her love for him, and his last act of sacrifice for her, that propels her self-centered (though by no means wrong) desire of “I need to find where I came from” to “these people are killers who threaten what I believe in,” and “they will kill again, and even if they will hurt the people who hurt me, many of whom I still dislike, I must do my best to stop them.”

the biggest scene that shows her laser focus on her own interests to the extent of others’ is when Erend asks her for help tracking Ersa’s killer and she denies him without the player's input. I thought that was an interesting choice because the game is canonically telling us that Aloy will barge her way past allies to get what she wants, and she will not be nice about it. like, Erend, a man grieving, tries to get her to stop for two seconds to hear out his ask for help, and she says “Out of the way” and “That’s your war, not mine.” Normally games might give you a choice to say yes or no to helping an ally, even if the game will eventually force you help them to progress the story; but the writers made a choice to show her denying a friend help, just after he helped her. It shows she’s still at the point in her journey where she sees others either as allies to help her or as foes in her way, and she might help allies if she makes time for it on her own (side quests), but when she's impatient and picks up the scent of her prey, she’s willing to ignore others’ needs.

it’s honestly debatable if she would have even cared so much about seeking revenge against the Eclipse if Helis hadn’t killed Rost: certainly she may have been interested in seeing them punished for their ambush against a bunch of Nora teenagers, but she mentions Rost the most consistently when she talks about tracking down Helis, not even Vala or the other Braves (RIP). even to Sylens, who didn’t know any of them, she says “You [didn’t say you knew the man] who killed my... who almost killed me.” (also, sob forever that Aloy still can’t call him her dad even after he’s dead, only “the man who raised her.” Rost really did not teach her to ever call him “Dad.” it’s no wonder why she was so focused on finding at least one parent, a mother, who is centered throughout Nora culture.) but the Nora ambush, while a factor, is still kind of... a side thing. she is most interested in their connection to this mysterious woman-who-might-be-her-mother, and the mystery of why they tried to kill her. people just assume that she is after them out of vengeance for the Nora, and she does not correct them as she uses her Seeker title to explore her own interests.

and speaking of Sylens, I think they are great foils for each other just for this reason: Aloy immediately senses there’s something she doesn’t like about him from basically the moment he makes contact. he’s prickly, arrogant, impatient, unsympathetic, and hates to play nice or work as a team. but like... are they really all that different? I think that Aloy sees Sylens in her future if she doesn’t learn to get along with people. like Aloy, Sylens is definitely rude to you, but I hope you realize you, too, are also pretty rude to others as well! (though you could argue this is a game mechanic so she can ask the questions that the player might be wondering.)

this is not all to say that she’s dispassionate or uncaring, or that her mission isn’t sympathetic or understandable. she helps people out, but her goal driving the story, her True North in a way, is really her own interest to find out who she is and where she came from. one of the significant moments she grows in this regard is when she comes out of ELEUTHIA-9 and decides to fight for the Nora, and for the entire world. she just discovered the truth of her birth isn't what she wanted, and she even thinks afterwards that she’s “not a person, just an instrument.” she’s devastated. what on earth does it mean, that she’s a “recreation” of Elisabet? they don’t have words for “clone” in her world—she thinks it means she’s literally not a human being. she doesn’t want a grand destiny to save the world, she just wants to find her mother and have that sense of belonging she was denied for so long, and she didn’t find that—turns out, she never had that. and now she’s being expected to take on this huge burden about restoring GAIA and fighting subfunctions that she doesn’t understand. both of her “mothers" are dead and there are a bunch of people waiting outside the bunker for her to tell them what their goddess is saying.

so when she walks out of that bunker and sees a bunch of scared, hopeful faces looking at her for answers, her decision to fight HADES—not just on behalf of GAIA but on behalf of the Nora and Carja and Oseram and all others—is her accepting that even though she isn’t what she thought and didn’t get what she wanted, she needs to help others because she is a still part of this world and can make a difference. that’s what makes her heroic. her hero-worship of Elisabet is understandable, but it’s not what’s going to get her through the next challenges in her life—only her own growth and commitment to doing good will do that.

when she tells Rost “if I’m going to fight for something, it’s going to be something I believe in,” I think that was her saying “I’ll fight for that something, but if I find it, I think I’ll end up finding it on my own, and it won’t be with the Nora.” at that time in her journey, she was running the Proving to get something for herself, not to serve the Nora, which she would have been expected to do normally if she had successfully completed it. but she does find something to believe in, and it is with the Nora, both physically in the mountain, and in the spirit of any community: it’s not Elisabet herself, like she thought, but it is what Elisabet stood for, and died for. she may not fully understand what GAIA or the subfunctions are yet, but she knows that their survival and mutual cooperation are necessary for the betterment of people now and civilizations everywhere. she isn’t really fighting for Elisabet or the Old Ones, or I don’t think so, at least—I think it is a factor to do all of this in Elisabet’s memory, in some way, but mostly I think she’s fighting for people alive today. it’s the same conclusion Elisabet came to: the Old Ones are doomed, but people of the future might still have a chance, and that chance is worth her dedication.

but how how a lonely girl ends up fighting to save the world when she barely understands it or the people in it, is an interesting challenge. for this reason I also expect to see her faults in full display in the sequels. Aloy’s tactlessness is a big flaw of hers when it comes to her dismissiveness and occasional derision toward any religion/cultural traditions she doesn’t understand or value. she works through this in some way over the course of the story, like when she decides to spare the Nora the truth of their goddess with an easy lie after leaving ELEUTHIA-9, but particularly in the DLC (which can take place at any point in the story), she challenges a werak to become the chieftan of a tribe she knows very little about, just to get something for herself: she wants to further her goal of investigating AI. I expect this trait of hers will be something we see more of in future games, her barging into a community she doesn’t know anything about and telling them how to do things for their own good. (I call it the “Solas Problem” from Dragon Age Inquisition.) she might be right most of the time, but she also needs to learn how to talk to the people she’s trying to save, and learn how to save them without changing who they are.

[skswriting]

the lottery offering

Rating: M Pairing: Jeongguk/You Words: 22,334 Summary:  “I volunteer,” you say softly, gasps rising up from the crowd behind you.  You can hear some of your tribe members burst into tears, some mutterings of thank the gods.  Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Elder Choi smiling smugly.  “Are you sure, child?” Alpha Kim asks gravely, “Are you ready to leave all this behind?  You will not be able to come home.”  You internally scoff.  Home.  This place hasn’t been home in years.“I am sure, Alpha Kim.  I volunteer to be the offering this year,” you confirm, voice unwavering. AN: i’ve been working on this for too long and it ITSELF is too long i literally just wanted to write about big dick jeongguk why am i like this Warnings: jeongguk is an alpha, there’s like a hint of beastiality? you don’t actually get fucked by a wolf though you just want to be lol, lots of gratuitous sex and overall cheesiness because jk is still a goofball, pussy eating, finger, edging, overstim? maybe? or at least a poor attempt at it, blowjobs, vaginal sex and knotting, i’m not sure if i have to warn about anything else, also major warning i read through this SO quick i was tired of looking at it i’m sorry

When one of the Elders asks for you to meet in their cabin after dinner, your heart sinks to your feet.  The Elders, and most of your tribe for that matter, don’t go out of their way to speak to you, so for one of them to call upon you can’t be good news.

You don’t eat much, stomach twisting violently as you sit in a secluded corner, immune to the chattering around you.  Maybe today is the day they kick you out.  It’s no secret your tribe doesn’t like you, your orphanism a major hurdle they’re unable to overcome, considering the scarce resources your tribe are reluctant to share with someone who’s unable to provide.

“Elder Choi,” you knock politely, bowing your head as you pop your head in, “You wished to see me?”

“Ah, yes, Y/N, come in child,” his voice is soft, giving no hint as to what’s to come, “Please, sit.”

You kneel on a pillow at his tea table, accepting the cup from him.  It’s silent as you both drink, your mind whirling as you try to think what’s about to happen.

“It will be your first Lottery tomorrow, yes?” he asks.

“Yes, Elder Choi,” you answer.

He nods and falls silent again.  He stares out the window and you watch him carefully, the flames of his fire casting shadows over his face.  He gives you a small smile when he faces you again, setting his cup down with a decisive clank.

“We have not had to host a Lottery for a few years.  The Lottery, though of mutual benefit to us, is a sad affair.  To lose a member of our tribe, a son or a daughter, to have them ripped away from their family and friends.  The tears and the good byes.  Heart wrenching, isn’t it?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but you answer anyway, “Yes Elder, very heart wrenching.”

“It is a blessing, however, when someone is selfless enough to volunteer, someone prepared to give themselves over instead of letting someone be ripped from us.”

It hits you, what he’s asking.  There’s no love lost between you and your tribe, but to have an Elder hint that you should just give yourself over cuts in a way you weren’t expecting.

“Little Mina will be in the Lottery this year, won’t she?” Elder Choi asks, and it’s a low blow.  She’s been sick for a few years and it’s been hard to obtain medicine for her, but she’s been so optimistic about everything and is the joy of the tribe, “It would kill her mother if she was chosen.”

“It would…” you whisper.

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to bring the mood down.  I merely wanted to make sure you were ready for tomorrow.  Do you have your dress ready?” it’s a ruse and you know it.  He’s laid the seed and now he’s waiting for it to take root.

“Yes Elder, I’ve been working on it for weeks,” you tell him and he nods.

“Good.  Please, finish your tea, I don’t wish to keep you too late and have you tired for tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Elder.”

He says nothing more as you sip slowly at your tea, mulling it over.

You don’t like his manipulation; it’s abhorrent, really, to use your outcast status and the personal attack of Mina against you.  But really, what is there to keep you here?  There’s no happy ending for you, just a life of solitude, always on the outskirts.  What could the other side hold that would be worse than what you’re already facing?

You’ve made up your mind as you push your empty cup away.

“Good night, Y/N, I’m glad we had this talk,” he tells you earnestly, leaning forward as he stares into your eyes.

“Good night Elder, I will see you at the Lottery tomorrow,” you bow to him, before you take your leave.

-

It’s a somber atmosphere, you and the other participants standing in front of the stage, Elder Lee standing beside Alpha Kim behind the bowl with all the offerings’ names.  All of the participants are dressed in white, as symbolism of consenting to being an offering, blank and ready to leave everything behind.

You’re standing at the front, Seyoung on one side and Bongsoo on the other.  They both have their hands clasped in front of them, the tension evident in the rigidity of their muscles, but you’re standing loose.  You’ve already made your peace, you just have to wait for the right moment.

“Everyone,” Alpha Kim booms, “Thank you for gathering here today.  It has come time for need of another offering.  We have plenty of goods to provide for trade, to be delivered next week before the cold sets in.”

There’s no call back, as the crowd waits for the end.

“Let us not stall any longer.  Jeongguk, please, step forward and draw the name.”

The recipient this year is tall and toned, muscles shifting under his tunic as he steps up beside the alpha.  Judging by his aura, he too is an alpha, dark eyes sweeping across the crowd.  It must be your imagination, but you feel as if his gaze lingers on you for a moment longer.  There’s no mistaking the red bleeding into his eyes, overtaking the gold specks of his status.  He’s the closest you’ve ever seen turning feral and you’re surprised they’ve let him get this far.

Your heart kickstarts when you see him raise his arm and prepare to reach into the depths of the bowl and seal someone’s fate.  Before his fingers get the chance to grasp onto a slip of paper, you step forward.

“I volunteer,” you say softly, gasps rising up from the crowd behind you.

You can hear some of your tribe members burst into tears, some mutterings of thank the gods.  Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Elder Choi smiling smugly.

“Are you sure, child?” Alpha Kim asks gravely, “Are you ready to leave all this behind?  You will not be able to come home.”

You internally scoff.  Home.  This place hasn’t been home in years.

“I am sure, Alpha Kim.  I volunteer to be the offering this year,” you confirm, voice unwavering.

He examines you for a moment, before turning to Jeongguk.  Jeongguk takes a moment to take in your figure, head tilting as his eyes roam over you.  You stand tall and proud, looking him head on.  His mouth quirks when your eyes meet and he nods.

“What is your name?”

“Y/N, Alpha Kim.  My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N, we have accepted your volunteer as this Lottery’s offering.  Gather your things, we leave within the hour.”

You bow to them, surprised to receive a bow back, before you turn to the side and bow to the Elders.  You don’t say anything to anyone as you head back to your small hut to gather your meager things.

-

The Lottery started when a shifter pack approached tribes like yours, desperate beyond belief.  Their numbers were small and members of their pack were on the verge of turning feral, unable to sustain mates to keep them from turning.  They proposed a trading system: tribes would provide bodies for mates and in turn they would provide resources.  This would keep either of you from dying, letting the pack slowly grow their numbers and letting your tribe stockpile food.  The Lottery was considered the easiest and fairest way to pick who would be traded. The Lottery has been around for as long as you can remember.

The redness of Jeongguk’s eyes means the process has started; his canines are elongated even in human form and his nails are too long.  His hair is shaggier than others and his communication skills are lacking.

The other problem is that he apparently tends to stay in his shifted form, a big, black wolf that’s almost as tall as you and definitely bigger.  The first day of your return trip, Jeongguk walks ahead of you, tail swishing as he leads with Alpha Kim.  Alpha Kim had explained quietly that you might have a harder time mating with Jeongguk with how far along he already is, the feral part of him fighting to reject the bond in order to move forward with the transformation.

It’s not a comforting thought, because if you mate with Jeongguk and the bond is rejected, you’ll both die.

“Please be patient with him,” Alpha Kim asked of you, which seemed uncharacteristic for his alpha status, “I watched Jeongguk grow up, I can’t let him go feral.”

“Yes, Alpha Kim, I’ll do my best,” you had told him.

Now, you’re on your way to your new pack, your new home.  You’re still wearing your Lottery dress and you’re starting to sweat, unused to walking for so long, but you don’t say anything.  It’ll take a few days to reach their pack and you don’t want to already be a burden to them.

There’s only a few of you.  You, Jeongguk, Alpha Kim, and one guard introduced as Yoongi.  You can keep up for the most part, because Jeongguk and Yoongi are the only two that are shifted, so they keep it slow for Alpha Kim.

Eventually though, the fatigue catches up to you.  Your calf muscles are screaming, urging you to take a break and rest, and you think you can feel a blister on the back of your foot.  You don’t mean to lag behind, but it’s getting harder to breathe, your chest tight, as you focus on each next step and not just dropping to your knees.

A rumble breaks you out of your headspace and you glance to see Jeongguk standing in front of you.  His eyes scare you, blank as they stare at you, and you’re almost unable to see the gold amidst the red.  There’s a brief stare down between you, before he turns his back to you and hunches down slightly.

You’re surprised that he’s offering to carry you, but your screaming feet don’t let you look a gift horse in the mouth, so you tiredly straddle his back, anchoring your hands in his midnight black fur.  He doesn’t even seem to register your added weight, trotting to catch back up to the others.  Alpha Kim doesn’t say anything as you rejoin them, but he does give you a slight smile.

“Thank you,” you whisper quietly to Jeongguk, for his ears only.  They twitch in recognition, but that’s all you get.

Bedding down for the night is slightly awkward, the shifters trying to give you privacy as you roll out a sleeping pad and lay a thin blanket on it.  There’s a little of the fire left from dinner that they’re maintaining to keep you warm and you’re thankful, huddling down beside it.

The blister on the back of your foot needs tended to, the skin peeling and the blood dripping.  You hiss as you touch it, digging into your rucksack to see if you have any salve.  You keep your groan to yourself, frustratedly running your fingers through your hair before you go to stand.

“Where are you going?” a soft voice asks and when you turn, you’re surprised to see that it’s Jeongguk who asked you.

He had shifted back earlier, but this is the first time you think you’ve heard him speak, and the airiness of his voice doesn’t match the sharpness of his face.  It’s pleasant though, a soothing, melodic timber.

“I’m going to see if there’s some salve materials nearby, burdock root or chamomile or something,” you shrug, limping a little as you turn away, “I’m not running away, I’ll be right back.”

“I’m not worried about you running away, I’m worried about how dark it is and the wild animals around here,” his voice takes on a gruff quality as he snaps the words out, gaze heated, “I’m coming with you.”

Your bite your lower lip, feeling properly chastised.  You didn’t mean to cause offense and you duck your head as he nears.  Neither of the other shifters say anything, watching you two leave.

It’s quiet as the two of you walk, you using the waning light to search.  You want to apologize, but you don’t want to add insult to injury, and he doesn’t seem keen on saying anything either.

“Burdock?” he gestures to a flowering purple bush.

“Oh, yes!” you grin, hobbling over to it.  You hum as you gently dig into the ground, unearthing a few roots of the plant and tearing them apart gently.

“Chamomile doesn’t grow this far north, but there should be some symphytum around we can add,” Jeongguk tells you, standing behind you, seemingly on watch as he surveys the surrounding area.

You’ve never heard of that plant, but he seems to know what he’s talking about so you nod as you stand.  He reaches a hand out to steady you, your skin tingling under his fingers.

“Your dress,” he says suddenly and you just look at him, “You should have let me dig up the root, you got it dirty.”

You look down at yourself, seeing the dirt patches on your bare knees and the smudges on your dress.

“Eh, it’s just a dress, I can wash it.  I’ll let you pick the symp… symphytum when we find it though,” you grin at him and you’re rewarded with a half chuckle, “We should get back to it before we lose the light.”

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow as he taps underneath his eye, “I can see in the dark, remember?”

You bark out a sarcastic laugh, “Sorry, my puny human eyes are only so useful.”

“It’s okay, we’ll get through this together,” he grins as you and you give him a real laugh, before you nudge him along.

Jeongguk points out some other plants you never heard of before as you search for the symphytum and you take in all he has to offer.  You dabbled in medicine and gardening in your tribe and so you listen to everything Jeongguk tells you, especially considering the area you’re heading to is so much different than the area you grew up in.

“Ah, here we go, symphytum,” Jeongguk points it out and you nod, taking in the features of the plant, “we need the flowers and leaves.”

“Wow, how do you know so much about all this?” you ask, admiration clearly present, and you swear you see him blush a little.

“My grandma was our pack’s medic,” he tells you, gathering what you need to add to your burdock root.

“Was…?” you ask softly.

“She died last year,” he says, quite gruffly.  He doesn’t elaborate more than that and you don’t expect him to.

Your parents passed when you were young, and you don’t remember specific details of them, but you know the feeling of loss well, an emptiness inside that you can’t seem to alleviate.  There are memories you have that you know you’ll never get to recreate or commiserate, and you can empathize with Jeongguk on that, who must have been close to his grandmother if his knowledge is anything to judge it off of.

You don’t say anything, but you lay a hand gently on his arm, hoping you can convey your emotions to him.  Jeongguk looks at your hand on his arm before he looks up at you, eyes still guarded, but you don’t look away.  He studies you, able to see you much better in the dark than you’re able to see him despite your eyes adjusting, before he touches his hand to yours in return.

You smile softly at him as he shifts from touching your hand to holding it.  Neither of you say anything as you stay there for a moment, just existing together, before he softly clears his throat to break the moment.

“We need water to turn this into a paste, let’s head back to camp,” he says and you agree.

You let Jeongguk carry you back to get to camp quicker and you see Alpha Kim and Yoongi curled up in their shifted form, the fire still lit but small.  Alpha Kim raises his head as you two approach, giving you both a quick once over to check that neither of you are hurt.  Once satisfied, he turns his head the other way, and the two of you are left to your own devices.

“Here, mash them like this,” Jeongguk tells you softly, sitting beside you on your sleeping pad as he crushes the materials together between two rocks, “We’ll add just a bit of water at a time until we get something thick and not too watery.  It’ll stick best to your blister that way.”

You nod, watching him carefully as he makes the paste.

“Give me your foot,” he instructs and you scoot back to place it in his lap, “this shouldn’t hurt, but let me know if I press too hard.”

He’s careful as he spreads the paste lightly over your blister, face entirely concentrated as he takes care of you.

“It doesn’t look like we have to wrap it, but we’ll put some more on in the morning.  You should lay down now, though, it’s getting late, and we have to get up early in the morning.”

Before he moves, you grab his wrist to make him look at you, “Wait.  I… I wanted to apologize.”

He tilts his head in question, waiting for you to continue, and you frown as you let go of his wrist.

“I didn’t mean anything when I made that comment about not running away earlier,” you tell him, “That wasn’t a dig at you, or your pack.”

Jeongguk sighs as he removes your hand only to hold it, staring down at the way his hand engulfs yours, “It’s okay.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be for your tribe to give up someone every Lottery.  I know it’ll be difficult for us, having such a small time frame to prepare to be mated for the rest of our lives, but please know that I’m thankful for you.  I don’t know your reasons for volunteering, but I like to think that your willingness gives us more of a chance, with no prejudice and no fear.”

Jeongguk softly places your foot back on the ground, before he pushes himself up and away before you can say anything.  You can tell by the movement of his body that he’s about to shift.  It looks like such a weird and painful process, the bones shifting into place as he hunches over, fur sprouting from his skin as his face elongates and ears pop up.

You notice that Jeongguk always shakes his legs out when he shifts, and just him; neither Alpha Kim or Yoongi do it.  It must just be some quirk of Jeongguk’s and it makes you giggle around a throat still tight with emotion as he does it, making him turn towards you.

He growls lowly in his chest, something that sounds almost playful, before trotting over to you as you settle on your sleeping pad.  He nudges his face against you, still growling a little, and you giggle as you realize he’s trying to push you down to lay on your sleeping pad, snuffling over you as you settle down, pulling the thin blanket over you.

He sniffs at the ground near you, turning in a few circles before he decides to curl up behind you, close enough that you can feel the heat of his body but not enough that it’s suffocating.  Combined with the heat of the fire, your body relaxes onto your pad despite the hardness of the ground and you fall asleep easily.

-

You wake up pleasantly warm, head pillowed on something soft.  You hum as you snuggle deeper into it, body rising and falling rhythmically, a soft rumbling in your ear thrumming through you pleasantly.  It’s almost enough to lull you back to sleep, before you realize you didn’t fall asleep with a pillow and what you’re laying on feels eerily alive.

When you crack your eyes open you see Jeongguk in his shifted form curled around you, your body wrapped up in his with your head resting on the side of his torso.  He’s awake, lazily watching you, and you notice that some of the red in his eyes is diminished.  They’re brown and gold this morning, shining brilliantly in the early morning light.  You realize he’d purposely been rumbling for you as it slows down, the sound dying out beneath your ear.  You can feel his tail twitching by your legs, as you’re completely swaddled in him, and you realize this is one of most comfortable moments of your life.

“Good morning,” you whisper to him, and he sighs as a response, curling around you tighter, “We should eat before we set out.”

You pick your head up to see Yoongi gone, probably to hunt for breakfast, and Alpha Kim in his human form rummaging around through their belongings to prepare for whatever he brings back.

You slowly extract yourself from Jeongguk, stretching sore muscles from walking, but you’re surprised to find that your back isn’t sore from sleeping on the ground.  You wonder how long you’d been laying on Jeongguk, knowing he’d chosen to curl up behind you when you went to sleep.  Judging by the way Jeongguk whines and huffs as you untangle yourself from him, you can tell he was as comfortable as you had been, trying to use his body weight to keep you pinned down.

After a light breakfast, the four of you set out.  Jeongguk makes you ride on his back for the rest of the day, despite your protest that your feet and blisters were fine.  He had growled at you, circling your form and rubbing up against you until Alpha Kim had approached you.

“We won’t reach the pack until tomorrow afternoon, it’ll be easier if the three of us can shift and Jeongguk carries you,” Alpha Kim had told you and you had acquiesced, mounting Jeongguk.

The second day passed much the same as the first had, and ends with the four of you bedding down for the night around a small camp.  Jeongguk is less shy about curling around you in his shifted form this time around, nudging your shoulder with his snout before unceremoniously plopping his head down in your lap.  You want to protest his closeness because you feel gross, still wearing your dirty Lottery dress, but you had been unwilling to hold them up for even a moment just for you to change, so you let him lay on you.

It had been worrying to you that Jeongguk had stayed shifted all day, but you can’t deny how comfortable he is when you’re trying to go to sleep, forgoing your blanket as you bury yourself in him.  You brush your hands through his fur, marveling at how soft it is and he starts to rumble under you.  You realize that he doesn’t do it for you but that its his way of letting you know that he’s comfortable.  His nose digs under your hand until it’s resting under your palm, urging you to move it.  You fall asleep petting him, thinking that volunteering no longer feels like a death sentence but more like… a new beginning.

You wake up to sunlight and rough jostling, with a gruff snuffling in your ear.  You’re disoriented for a few moments, head rolling against the ground as you try to gain your bearings.  You’re laying on your side facing away from the camp and there’s sweat dripping down your back because Jeongguk in his shifted form has you pressed right up against his underside, nose tight against the back of your ear as he growls deep in his chest.

It takes you a moment, but when you register the wetness and the growling, you realize what’s happening.  His lower half is thrusting up against you and his cock is between your legs, rubbing against your skin.  Your pulse quickens as you realize that Jeongguk must be having a wet dream or something similar as he growls in his sleep and licks at your skin, sending a jolt through your entire body.

You’re almost mortified to realize that the wetness you first thought was coming from him is actually from you, that you like what’s happening.  Even though he’s in his shifted form it’s still Jeongguk and there’s no denying that you find him attractive.  The fact that he’s rutting against you is doing things to you, his cock hot and heavy against you making your head spin.

You’re afraid to look down, to sear the image into your mind.  You know it’s not going to look like his human cock, but when you glance down, you can’t help the way you keen in the back of your throat.  He’s big, precum smearing against your stomach as he works his cock under your dress, pressing against your clit from the way he’s got you pinned.  With one of his legs over both of yours, and one of his front legs extended over your torso to press into the ground to give himself leverage, you would have to fight to get out of his hold.

But you don’t want to.  You can feel the heat between your legs, the arousal swirling in your stomach as his growling gets deeper and his tongue gets more insistent.  You can feel the press of his teeth against the sensitive skin of your neck and when his thrusts speed up, hitting your clit just a bit faster, you can’t help but moan lowly.  You hope Alpha Kim and Yoongi are out hunting so you don’t have to deal with the embarrassment of knowing they know.

You give a tentative thrust down and moan a little higher when Jeongguk’s cock rubs against your clit harder.  You clench around nothing, whimpering as you thrust down again, and again, until you’re working in tandem with him.  You can feel Jeongguk’s body shaking behind you, his low growling shifting to a higher pitched whine, nosing roughly at your ear before his nips turn purposeful.

You startle when it dawns on you that he’s finally woken up, the nip more than a dream instinct, but his thrusting doesn’t stop.  You gasp when he starts shifting behind you, helping you onto your knees and elbows as he stays crouched over you, body dwarfing yours as you rest your forehead against your sleeping pad.

You can’t believe this is happening but Jeongguk doesn’t give you time to think, his shifted cock giving your clit delicious friction as he stays mounted this way, thrusting with conscious purpose now.  He noses along the entire back of your neck, licking the shell of your ear and nipping at your shoulders.  Your back is so slick with sweat you can feel every press of Jeongguk’s belly against you, clenching with each thrust, wishing he’d stuff you with his cock.  It’d tear you in half but it’d be worth it to be so full, to be forced to take it, to test the limit.

You moan as you think about it, letting Jeongguk phantom fuck you and reaching a hand under your dress to touch the tip of his cock as he thrusts against your stomach.  Jeongguk lets out a half howl, thrusting up against the palm of your hand as the press against your clit becomes constant.

“Jeong-Jeongguk,” you hiccup, “S’too much, please, gonna cum.”

Jeongguk is shaking above you and you sob as the pleasure peaks, Jeongguk continuing to fuck up against you as you cum, clenching hard around nothing and whining in displeasure over it.  He noses eagerly at your neck, licking furiously at your skin as his thrusts grow erratic, close to his own orgasm.

You reach further down so you can brush feather light fingertips over the body of his cock.  His shifted cock is much different than a human cock, no mushroom head but thick at the base where his knot would be.  You groan as you think about it, the dirty mechanics of being knotted like this, out in the open in camp with your knees pressed to the ground and your dress pushed up to your breasts.  Your panties are useless at this point, sopping wet and glued to the ridges of your cunt.

You feel Jeongguk throw his head back and howl loudly as the first spurts of his cum shoot up to your tits, smearing against the skin of your stomach before it drips down onto the inside of your dress.  It’s disgusting, and filthy, and you’re horrified to learn that you love it, the feeling of being utterly dominated like this.

Jeongguk pants against your skin as he expends all that he has, his body sagging against yours but not forcing you down to the ground.  Your body is shaking as he steps back from you, his snout trailing down your back and to your crack, nosing at the thin fabric of your panties.  You can feel the puffs of his breath against your soaked skin and you slowly push yourself up, arms and legs shaking.

You’re breathing hard as Jeongguk walks around you, eyes brilliant as he stares at you.  His tongue flicks out to lick at your cheek and you breathlessly giggle, Jeongguk pressing his face against your chest to slowly guide you back, laying you against your sleeping pad.

You’re tired, the exhaustion settling in your bones as you glance up at the slightly blue tinted sky.  It has to still be early, but when you glance over, Alpha Kim and Yoongi are gone, which you are immensely thankful for.

However, Jeongguk doesn’t give you time to rest.  He sniffs earnestly at your neck, rubbing his face and tongue against you as he works his way down.  Your dress feels disgusting from where the cum covered front is pressed to your skin, but Jeongguk just brushes it up over your breasts, licking at one nipple and then the next before he continues down.  He cleans your stomach of himself, nose warm and tongue warmer, and you’re not ashamed at the way arousal has started to pool in your stomach again.

Jeongguk must be able to smell it, tongue pressing more eagerly the closer he gets to your cunt.  He nudges your thighs apart with his snout, growling appreciatively when they spread and your smell hits him full force.  He bites at your panties, pulling the thin fabric away and down your legs, tossing them in a random direction over his shoulder before the point of his tongue flicks against your clit.

You don’t bother to stifle your moan, the feeling of his tongue rough in texture as it presses harder with every lick, cleaning you of your dripping arousal with valiant effort.  You cry out when his tongue presses inside you, licking at your walls deeper than most cocks have ever reached. You can’t stop the little sounds you make, the humping of your hips against Jeongguk’s face as the pleasure builds.

If he tongues this good you can’t imagine the damage he can do with his cock, spearing you open effortlessly and making you cum multiple times.  You clamp down around his tongue as you think about it, wishing he would just fuck you, shifted or not, cumming to the thought of it.

Jeongguk snuffles happily against you, licking your cunt clean of your cum and your thighs free of sweat.  When you gain the energy to lift your head, Jeongguk is hunched over you, licking his jowls with his tail wagging.  His tail wagging.  It’s so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh, letting your head thunk back against the ground as you hear the telltale sound of his bones shifting.

After a few moments of silence, gentle hands lead your legs closed, running up your sides to grab your dress and pull it up and off, hitting the ground with a wet smack.

“C’mon, there’s a little stream near here, let’s get you cleaned up,” his voice is laced with sex and you shiver, letting him pull you up and onto shaky legs, opting to just carry you when you end up swaying.

It’s not awkward to be naked in front of him, rubbing cold, clean water against your skin.  Jeongguk watches you for a few minutes, appreciating the dip of your fingers between your thighs as you clean yourself of spit and arousal and your cum.  He finally strips himself and you can’t help but stare.  Even in human form he’s big, cock hanging half hard and heavy between his legs, thigh and abdominal muscles toned and flexing as he perches himself on a jutting rock to wash himself.

Your mouth is watering and you don’t even care; you can feel the weight of cock on your tongue and you specifically want his in your mouth right now, dragging your tongue down the protruding vein and around the bulbous head.

“We’ll never get back to the camp if you keep staring,” Jeongguk smirks over at you, brushing his hands down his thighs in an obviously teasing manner.

“I want to suck you off,” you confess easily, squeezing your thighs together when you see Jeongguk’s gaze darken and his cock jump.

“Later,” he promises, and you’re practically drooling when he fists his cock, hand tightening on an upward stroke, “we really do need to be going.”

“Then quick jerking off,” you whine petulantly, and Jeongguk has the audacity to laugh at you.

Jeongguk gives you his tunic to wear back to camp as a makeshift dress, keeping a small bit of distance from you, which is much too far considering he had almost fucked you into the ground earlier.  This must be his way of attempting to be respectful, or at least you hope so; just the thought of Jeongguk regretting any of it or being ashamed makes your stomach clench painfully.

Alpha Kim and Yoongi are packing up camp when you arrive.  They give the both of you a knowing look and you blush as you duck your head, realizing they must be able to smell what you two had done.

“Come,” Yoongi smirks, the word intentional, “if we leave now we’ll get home before lunch.”

Home.  It sounds pleasant and right coming from Yoongi.  You’re going home, not just to their pack, but your pack now.

-

There’s a small welcoming ceremony when the four of you finally arrive and you’re overwhelmed by the positivity of the pack.  Their numbers have grown, but it’s not the size of some other shifter packs you’ve seen.

Jeongguk keeps close to you as elder pack members pull you into a hug, welcoming you to your new home and encouraging you to ask for help when you need it.  Shifted pups sniff at you, particularly your stomach which makes you blanch, before yipping and wagging their tails happily at you.

“This is Y/N,” Alpha Kim booms to the crowd, “Y/N selflessly volunteered herself to be Jeongguk’s mate to prevent us from losing him to his feral side.”

The little pack cheers and you blush at their enthusiasm.

“Let us let these future mates have time for themselves,” Alpha Kim turns to you and smiles, “Please, rest.  The journey was long and I’m sure you’re… tired.”

You try not to react, knowing that he’s not talking about the walking.

“I’ll show you to our cabin,” Jeongguk tells you softly, placing a hand on your lower back to lead you away, “Thank you everyone.  We’re happy to be home.”

You smile and wave at everyone as you walk away, Jeongguk leading you towards the center of their pack territory.  It’s a foreign feeling to you, so used to staying out of your tribe that you don’t know what to do knowing you’re going to be living in the thick of it.

“These cabins look so nice,” you comment, looking at the smattering of cabins around you.

“Alphas build cabins before they take a mate,” Jeongguk explains, “Outside of me, none of our alphas are of age yet, so no one is preparing to build.”

“Woah, you built this?  That’s impressive,” you exclaim, as he reaches for the door.

He stops with his hand on the handle, seemingly frozen, before he turns hurriedly to you, “Um… actually, could you stay out here for a moment?”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused, but nod.  Jeongguk gives you a quick, thankful smile, slipping in through the slightest crack so you can’t see inside.

You feel a little foolish standing outside Jeongguk’s cabin - well, your cabin now, as well.  You can hear frantic clattering inside and Jeongguk’s light footsteps as he runs around.  You hear the terrible screech of a window opening, and when you bend around the corner of the cabin you can see what looks like trash being thrown out of it.  It startles a laugh out of you, realizing Jeongguk is cleaning for you, and it’s so endearing.

You wait patiently, knowing Jeongguk wants to make a good impression on you.  Finally, the door creaks open, before Jeongguk pushes it open wide and steps aside.

“Please, come in,” he says, slightly out of breath, and you giggle at him.

“I could have helped you clean,” you tell him, stepping past him and he ducks his head after being caught.

It’s modest, and homey.  There’s a little kitchenette to use when you don’t want to go to the main dining hall, a small sitting area, and a hallway that leads to a small bathroom and bedroom.  There’s a pack bathhouse that they utilize, so the bathroom has a toilet and small wash tub for a quick rub down, and the bedroom is just a pile of furs.

“I know it’s not much but-” Jeongguk seems embarrassed, scratching behind his ear as he avoids your gaze.

“I love it,” you tell him honestly, “it’s very comfortable, very… you.  And I like you.”

The blush that spreads across Jeongguk’s face is satisfying and you grin at him.  You were worried you and Jeongguk were going to have an awkward period of forcing yourselves to get to know each other, but it’s been pretty natural.  There might have been some truth to Jeongguk’s words that you volunteering made it easier for you two to connect, as there’s no expectations for either of you.

“I know Alpha Kim said we have time for ourselves, but there are pack duties I need to get caught up on,” Jeongguk tells you, almost sounding regretful that he has to leave.

“That’s okay, I understand,” you tell him, and you truthfully do, but there’s a small pit of nervousness at the thought of being by yourself as you’re still unsure of the inner workings of the pack, “but um, am I… allowed to be out by myself?”

Jeongguk gives you a strange look, placing his hands on your shoulders and smoothing them down your arms, “You’re part of the pack now and my future mate.  You don’t have to walk on eggshells around us, gods know no one out there will.  Please familiarize yourself with the pack, it’s home now.”

You nod, feeling ashamed about your question, but unable to articulate to Jeongguk how out of place you felt when you were in the midst of your tribe.  Jeongguk hesitates for a moment, swaying back and forth, before apparently coming to his decision and leaning down to press his lips to your forehead.

With a horrifying sense of clarity, you realize you let Jeongguk go down on you before you’ve even properly kissed.  But then again, you two don’t have an exactly conventional relationship.

“I shouldn’t take too long,” he whispers against your skin, seemingly unwilling to go.

“Okay,” you whisper back, smiling when he kisses your forehead again.

As they say, parting is such sweet sorrow.

-

You take the time to introduce yourself to the surrounding cabins, receiving delighted responses.  You feel bad, because there are so many names thrown at you in a short time frame that you don’t remember most of them.  You met Alpha Kim’s son, Namjoon, and two people claiming to be Jeongguk’s best friends, Jimin and Taehyung.  There’s the old lady just a cabin down from yours, who winks rather lasciviously at you when she tells you that the wood the cabins are made with are thick and block sound.  There’s a human girl around your age named Jihyo on the other side of your cabin who is super sweet and invites you in for tea, which you postpone to another afternoon.

You meet another girl on the way back to your cabin, because you are actually really tired, who introduces herself icily as Ina.  Despite her attitude, you bow politely at her.

“So, you’re Jeongguk’s mate,” she says kind of tersely, after having sniffed at the air around you with a look of disdain.

You’re familiar with this kind of attitude, which is very reminiscent of your tribe, so you continue to be polite to her.

“I am!  I’m Y/N,” you introduce yourself, “It’s nice to meet you Ina.”

“I heard Alpha Kim say you volunteered.  I’ve never heard of someone volunteering,” she continues.

“I remember it happening once when I was a kid, but back then-”

“Did you only volunteer because you think he’s hot?” she interjects over you.

Your mouth clicks shut, unsure of how to answer her.  You’re afraid if you say no, she’ll wheedle her way into the depths of your soul and pull your tragic reasoning out.  But you can’t say yes, because not only is it not true, but you’re afraid that she’ll spread an ugly rumor around that you’re shallow.

It’s a conundrum you’re not sure how to approach, but thankfully your saving grace is a smiling older woman placing her hand on your shoulder and deflecting Ina’s question.

“Ina, what’s with the inquisition?  Y/N dear has had a long journey, we have plenty of time to get to know her as a person, and as a mate for Jeongguk.”

Ina looks embarrassed at her interruption and bows to the older woman, with a small sorry before she scurries off.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t have to get involved-” you start but she waves your apology off.

“Don’t worry about it.  And don’t worry about Ina, she’s just feeling slighted right now.  Is it okay if I take up some of your time?  I’d love to have a cup of tea and get to know you,” she smiles so prettily at you, eerily familiar, and you find yourself nodding before you remember you were going to take a nap.  Too late now.

“Would you like to come back to Jeongguk’s cabin?  Well, mine too I guess.  Um, our cabin-” you stumble over yourself, out of your depth as she laughs.  Not at you, but at the obvious confusion you’re having trying to fit yourself into the pack.

“Sure deary, let’s go,” she links her arm with yours, turning you to your cabin.

You spend a pleasant hour with her, apologizing at first for not knowing where Jeongguk keeps his stuff but easily locating a kettle and some tea.  She introduces herself as Minseo and gives you a brief history of the pack, and some of the members, before she conspiratorially asks if you want to hear stories of Jeongguk from when he was a child and you quickly agree.

That’s how Jeongguk finds you, kneeling at the little table with Minseo, tears in your eyes as she recounts a story of a buck naked teenage Jeongguk jumping into a lake on a dare and not evening completing it.  He looks shocked to see you and Minseo giggling against each other, tea refilled and steaming, before it transforms into a serene look.

“Hi mom,” he greets Minseo and you abruptly stop giggling, turning to the woman beside you with wide eyes and a hanging mouth.

She grins sneakily around the rim of her mug, “Ah, baby, you ruined my fun, I hadn’t told her I was your mother yet.”

He rolls his eyes but is still smiling as he leans down to kiss the top of her head, snickering to himself when he sees how shocked you still are as he kisses your cheek.

“Are you staying for dinner?  We’ll be eating here tonight, Omega Kim is bringing us bear as a treat.”

“Omega Kim has always been so sweet on you, you’d think she was your mother and not me,” Minseo pouts and Jeongguk coos.

“Maybe if you were nicer to me,” he singsongs, not even trying to avoid the slap she aims at his shoulder.

“Yah, do you know how long I was in labor with you?” Minseo complains but she’s smiling, looking so incredibly happy as she gazes at him.

“I’m sure you’ll remind me.”

“A whole day, Guk, an entire day of pain and agony and spreading my legs so your grandmother could check just to tell me you were being stubborn and weren’t coming out despite being stretched by a watermelon.”

Jeongguk groans, “Do you have to be so graphic about it?”

“It’s not like it’s something you won’t go through,” she teases and the implication brings a blush to your cheeks.

You and Jeongguk?  Kids?  You’ve barely though past your mating ceremony, but you suspect it’s a normal thing for mother-in-laws to be worried about.

“Besides, with the way our little Y/N smells, it doesn’t seem like you’re all that shy about it,” she says knowingly and you choke on your tea.

“Mom!” Jeongguk groans, avoiding looking at you as he scratches behind his ear, “Please.”

Minseo grins to herself, downing the last of her tea as she stands on creaky knees.  Jeongguk helps her to her feet, you pushing yourself up to follow them to the door.

“I’ll let you two have your time.  Please dear, don’t be a stranger, I love visitors,” she tells you sincerely and despite your mortification that she can somehow smell what you and Jeongguk had been up to, you wholeheartedly agree, “And Jeongguk, eat some more, your cheeks are getting thin.”

“Yes mom,” he tells her dutifully, kissing her cheek before she hugs you goodbye.

You wave at her, watching her bustle down the path, before Jeongguk shuts the door.

“Can everyone smell your cum on me or something?” you ask and Jeongguk bursts out laughing, though you can see a bit of embarrassment lingering on his face.

“Well, kind of, but it’s mainly just me.  You probably can’t smell it because you don’t have the sense for it but each of us have our own, uh, scent.  So earlier when we… ahem,” Jeongguk clears his throat, seemingly unwilling to explicitly mention it and you grin at that, “a lot of my scent would have transferred over to you.  That’s what everyone is referring to.  They’re probably surprised because scenting is kind of an intimate thing and we’ve only just met.”

“Oh,” you hum, “so I smell like you.  That means everyone knows whose mate I am, that I belong to you.”

Jeongguk makes a strangled sound and clears his throat again, “Yes, that you- yes.”

The two of you stand by the door, just staring at each other, before Jeongguk moves away to head to the kitchen.   There aren’t many dishes to do, but Jeongguk does them anyway, and you think he’s doing them just to have something to do.  You decide to help him, sliding silently up beside him and taking a dripping dish from him quietly.

It’s quiet between you two as you work together, Jeongguk washing and you drying them before putting them away.  Finally you ask a question, addressing the difference between you.

“Does it bother you?  That I’m not shifter, so I have no way of scenting you back?” you ask softly.

Jeongguk takes a moment to answer, scrubbing at a spot in the sink that looks stained and unable to come out.

“No,” he finally says, “my mate doesn’t have to be similar to me in order to be a good match for me.  I don’t need someone who has good eyes or good sense of smell,” here’s teasing you here, judging by the tongue he sticks out at you, “or a certain status for me to want to spend my life with them.  I just want someone I’m comfortable with and who makes me happy.”

The answer settles something pleasant in your stomach and you smile shyly at him.

“But…” he hesitates for a moment, “I do want to apologize.”

“For what?” you ask, putting the towel you were drying with back on a rack.

“This morning,” he says softly, “I hope I didn’t… force myself on you or make you feel uncomfortable.  I mean, I enjoyed it, and judging by the sounds you were making you did too, but I never verbally checked with you and that was wrong of me.”

You bump your shoulder against his, before leaning against him, “Jeongguk, it’s okay.  You didn’t force me.  Caught me by surprise, sure, but… it was good.  You were good,” you’re blushing, hiding your face against his tunic sleeve, but you don’t care, “I liked it and I wasn’t exactly quiet about wanting to do more after, was I?  We have a week before our mating ceremony, so maybe we can just… explore until then?”

Alpha Kim had explained that it’s a big tradition within the pack, a little ceremony held in front of the pack, with food and dancing.  Then, you head off to the outskirts of the pack clearing where there’s a mating clearing, an area blessed by the Moon Goddess.  You and Jeongguk aren’t allowed to have penetrative sex until then, a tradition long held in their pack that the first “real” copulation has to be blessed by Her for a good life together.  At least Jeongguk’s already semi fucked you outside, so it won’t feel so foreign actually getting mounted in the open like that.  Besides, it’s not like you can’t do other things.

“You can’t say things like that with a straight face,” Jeongguk groans, “You have no idea how hard it was for me to tell you not to suck me off this morning.”

You laugh, Jeongguk turning you to gently pull you into his arms, “You have no idea how hard it was for me to not just drop to my knees and do it anyway.”

Jeongguk growls and you shiver, Jeongguk holding you close to his chest as he presses a loud kiss behind your ear.  He moves to pepper kisses down your neck, nipping at your pulse point while you scrabble to hold onto his back.

“Jeongguk,” you breathe, “kiss me, please.”

He wastes no time pulling back to press his mouth to yours, swallowing the whine you let out as he pushes you tightly against the counter.  You’re ignoring his semi for the moment, pressed deliciously right up against you, to enjoy the feeling of his mouth practically devouring you.  His tongue feels as good in your mouth as it did in your cunt, brushing against your own and against the back of your teeth hotly.

Jeongguk’s hands can’t decide if they want to grab at your ass, your waist, or your thighs, kneading whatever skin they come in contact with.  At some point they’re in your hair, tugging you away from his mouth with force so he can kiss down the front of your throat to your collarbones, biting and sucking bruises into your tender skin.  All you can do is take it as he forces his hips upward, groaning as he nestles his covered cock right between your pussy lips.  You’re still wearing his tunic as a dress, so you can feel him in his entirety and god is he big.

“You’re gonna drive me crazy,” he growls, your skin stinging from the bite he just left that he soothes with his tongue, “I can smell how wet you are already.  Just wanna go down on you until you cry, finger you until you’ve came so many times you lose count.”

“Jeongguk,” you sob, overwhelmed with how bad you want him, “touch me, please.”

“Come on,” he lets go of your hair to pull you up on his hips by your thighs, “so many things I want to do to you.  You stepped up to that stage with no fear and clear determination, looked me right in the eyes like I can’t bring you to your knees.  Wanted to bend you over and fuck you right then, show your whole tribe the sweet pussy they’d be missing. Fuck, Y/N.”

There are actual tears in your eyes as Jeongguk stomps his way to the bedroom, softly laying you in your pile of furs.  He towers over you on his knees, eyes roving over you as he takes in your flushed face and heaving chest, smirking at the way your thighs rub together.

“Pull your tunic up,” he instructs and your hands quickly fall to grip the hem, “slowly.”

You swallow thickly, taking a few deep breaths as Jeongguk places his hands just below your knees, eyes falling to watch the way your fingers shake.  You pull it up slowly, eyelashes fluttering as you savor the drag of the fabric against your sensitive skin.  Jeongguk hums, fingers creeping up your legs the farther you pull the tunic up, licking his lips when he sees your panties and the wet spot they’re sporting.

You pause when you reach your navel, letting your fingertips trail against your skin as the goosebumps erupt.

“So pretty, baby,” Jeongguk breathes, the furs shifting under his knees as he leans over you more, abs quivering from exertion, “What a show, keep going.”

You whimper a little, placing your hands flat against your stomach as you continue to push the tunic up, feeling yourself up.  Your hands slide up your sides causing you to shy away from the ticklish touch and your fingers brush just under your breasts.  You jolt at the feeling of Jeongguk’s tongue against your stomach, hands flying down to grip at his hair.

“Did I say you could stop?” he growls, biting softly at your skin, tongue hot and wet, “Show me those tits, baby.”

“Jeongguk,” you moan, arching your back as you push the tunic up higher, your exposed nipples immediately hardening in the cold air, “feels good.”

“Take it off,” he commands and you listen, struggling to pull the tunic over your head while laying down since he won’t move back to let you sit up.

“Touch them,” he orders and you pinch your nipples softly, moaning louder, “Mmm, harder.”

You listen to him, pinching harder as he travels up your torso, leaving little lovebites in his wake.

“‘M gonna fuck these pretty tits one day,” he tells you, licking the valley between your breasts, before he bites rather harshly at your right breast, his hand swamping your own on your left breast.

He massages the left as he wraps his mouth around the right, sucking harshly and biting at your sensitive skin.

“Guk,” you sob, one hand trapped under his and the other gripping onto his bicep, “your mouth, I- fuck!”

Jeongguk grins, nipple tight between his teeth as he tugs, letting it go with a wet smack, “Touch your pussy baby, just a little.  Show me how wet you are for me.”

You’re soaked.  Without even touching yourself you can feel the way your panties cling to your skin.  Is it always going to be like this with Jeongguk?  You sure fucking hope so.

Jeongguk lets go of your breast to plant his hand into the furs beside your head, giving himself leverage as he switches from kissing your chest to marking your neck.  You squirm as his body heat settles over you, so close to touching you but so far away.  His chest brushes against yours, your nipples rubbing against his sweaty skin as his hair brushes against your cheek.  You whine into his ear as you massage the junction of your thighs, canting your hips up to try and brush against the front of him.

“Just a little,” he reminds, voice raspy against the shell of your ear, biting gently on your earlobe, “Touch yourself through your panties first, tell me how wet you are.”

You breathlessly follow his instructions, letting your fingers wander from the apex of your thighs to the top of your mound.  Your heart is beating erratically as you massage it slowly, so close to your wetness but teasing yourself just a little more.  Jeongguk has the perfect vantage part from your neck to watch your hands work, chest rumbling with the first touch of your fingertips against your clit, acting like he feels it just as acutely as you do.

“Oh,” you breathe out, Jeongguk’s teeth sinking in behind your ear.

“Tell me,” he growls, “Tell me how you feel.”

“So wet,” you immediately concede, brushing your fingers down to rub against your entrance where your wettest, “I want you so bad Jeongguk, I’m aching for you.”

Your pussy makes an audible sound as you rub your fingers against the fabric of your panties.

“Pull them down, just a bit,” his voice is rough as he pants, eyes trained on your fingers as he loses sight of them exploring between your lips, “Wanna smell you.”

You shimmy them down slowly, body wiggling under Jeongguk’s as you get them down just far enough for you to work with.  Jeongguk’s groan is low as your smell hits him and he licks a stripe up your neck.

“Put a finger in.”

You don’t disobey him, breaching your walls with just one like you’ve been told.  You’re so wet you can barely feel it and you whine in dissatisfaction.

“One not enough for your greedy pussy?” he sneers, raising himself onto his haunches to get a better look at what you’ve put on display, “Two, then, but only two.”

You work a second one in and the stretch is nice, but nowhere near filling.  Jeongguk watches the push and pull of your fingers, crossing his arms over his chest as he casually observes you.  It’s so apathetic you cry out, willing him to do something, but he doesn’t.  He lets you finger yourself for a few minutes, watching your drip onto the pile of furs beneath you as he breathes steadily.  The only real way you can tell he’s affected is by the way his nostrils are flaring and how dilated his pupils are.

“Feel good?” he finally asks.

“You’d feel better,” is your instant answer and he seems pleased, giving you a smug smirk as he shrugs his top off, “Could touch me so much better, your fingers are-are thicker and longer and-”

Jeongguk leans down to press a kiss to the center of your sternum, hands raising to grip your hips tight.

“Fuck, baby, you smell fantastic,” he groans, tongue slithering out as he trails down, biting and sucking as he goes, “Tasted so good on my tongue, can’t wait to eat you out again.”

“Please,” you beg, you whimper, you plead, “please touch me, Guk.”

“Okay, baby, since you’ve asked so nicely,” his hands slide down your hips and around your thighs, settling his shoulders between your legs.  You keen at the stretch, cool air brushing against your wet pussy as Jeongguk takes a moment to watch your fingers at eye level.

“Show me how wet you are,” his voice has dropped, tone low and rough and you exhale hard through your nose as you do as he asks, scissoring your fingers as you pull them out so he can see how thoroughly coated they are, “Fuck yeah…”

Despite the gruffness of his voice, his hands are gentle as he takes your wrist in his hands and presses them into the bed.  Jeongguk is so utterly focused on your pussy, using his thumbs to spread your lips apart as he takes in a deep breath.  It’s a little embarrassing for you, but the unrestrained moan he lets out overpowers anything your feeling as you squirm in his hold.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he mutters to himself you think, before he all but attacks your pussy with his tongue.

“Guk!”

He’s vicious, tongue laving from top to bottom as he eats you out, basically swallowing you whole.  You’ve stretched yourself enough from your two fingers that his slip in easily, and he’s quick to push it to three, working them in tandem with his tongue.

You’re practically vibrating beneath Jeongguk, physically unable to keep your mouth closed as you let him know just how good it feels.  You’re so worked up you can feel your orgasm approaching fast, your thighs beginning to shake the closer it gets.

“Oh, cumming, I’m-” you try to speak but you feel like you’re about to swallow your tongue.

Just as you feel like you’re about to tumble over the precipice, just when you can taste it in your mouth, Jeongguk rips himself away from you and your orgasm comes to a screeching halt.

“No, nonono,” you cry, frustration tears budding in the corner of your eyes as you reach out to a panting Jeongguk, “Why did you-!”

“Shh, it’s okay baby, just relax,” he coos, leaning down to press kisses into your thighs as he brushes his hands lovingly up your sides, “calm down for me, yeah?”

You pout down at him, wiping at your eyes as you huff.

“Just trust me, okay?” he smiles cutely at you, like that makes it feel better, as he softly buries his tongue back into you.

You want to be mad because you were so close, but his tongue calms you down and you sink back into the feeling.  Jeongguk seems eager to get back at it and you sigh as the feeling builds back up.  He alternates between sticking his tongue in you and thumbing your clit and dredging his fingers against your walls as he sucks on your clit like a man starved.

It doesn’t take long for you to feel the beginnings of your orgasm approaching and you decide to keep it to yourself.  But Jeongguk must pick up on the tells of your breath quickening and your hands becoming restless because just as you’re about to tip over the edge again Jeongguk pulls away with a wet smack.

“No!” your hands fly up to cover your face because you’re actually crying this time, tears of frustration slipping down your temples into your hairline.

“Pretty girl,” Jeongguk kisses his way up your body, nosing at your ear as he smooths a hand through your hair, “Take a deep breath for me.”

You sniffle into his shoulder, smacking his bicep weakly as you cling onto him, “Why are you being such a dick?  I just wanna cum.”

“I know you do,” he kisses the tip of your nose, before pressing a smothering kiss to your mouth, “And you will, it’ll feel good, I promise.”

“How am I supposed to know if you keep stopping!” you complain and he laughs into your skin as he settles between your legs again.

Jeongguk presses apologetic kisses to your pussy, humming as he slips his tongue up and around your clit as he eases his fingers back in.

“Sorry baby, forgive me?” he grins devilishly at you and you can’t answer, eyes already starting to roll from how deprived you feel.

“Please no more teasing,” you whimper, threading shaky fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, “I don’t think I can take any more.”

“Okay pretty,” he acquices, and you can see the physical change in him, the way his tongue turns pointed and the way his fingers stiffen inside you, “I’ll let you cum.”

You almost wish you had let him do as he pleased, because he works you up to a quick orgasm and tongues you through it, wrapping a hand around your waist to hold you to the bed as you squirm and twitch and gasp your way through it until you’re finished but he… doesn’t stop.

“G-Guk, that’s-” too much, but the words die in your throat as he merely buries his face farther in your pussy, fingers taken to stroking the upper bounds of your walls to keep them lodged up to his knuckles.

“You wanted to cum,” he tells you darkly, mouthful of pussy, “So cum.”

“I did,” you squawk, futilely trying to close your legs around his head, but he easily holds them open, “I c-can’t!  Not again!”

“You will,” he tells you simply before he dives back in.

And you do.  Two more times, the feeling not as all encompassing but just as intense, leaving you slack jawed and with an aching back from how you arch and shy away from his touch.  Your body melts into the furs when his fingers finally retract from inside you, tongue leaving your clit numb and sore.

“Such a good girl, make so many pretty sounds for me,” Jeongguk murmurs, massaging your hips as he lays beside you, “Did so well for me, baby.  Gimme a kiss.”

Your mouth barely works but you kiss him, Jeongguk leaning his torso over yours to make it easier on you.

“You’re still hard,” you note, glancing down to see the bulge in his pants, hidden away from you for too long.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he tells you but you whine.

“Wanna suck you off, been thinking about it all day,” you admit and he makes a low sound in the back of his throat.

“Yeah?  Wanna suck your alpha off?  Wanna make me feel good?” he asks, voice low and soothing as you push yourself down his body, bringing his pants with you.

You groan at the feel of him, cock sticky with your arousal.  You don’t care about that, and don’t hesitate to suck on his head, hand moving down to play with his balls and twist at the base where you know a knot is waiting for you.  You want it in you so bad you whine around his cock, pushing down so you can suck on more of him, tucking your teeth behind your lips so you didn’t nick him.

Jeongguk groans above you, hands carding through your hair to hold it back, watching your mouth work him over enthusiastically, spit dribbling from the corner of your mouth.

“Ah, baby, just like that,” he moans, giving a tentative thrust of his hips that you gag around, “So eager.”

Jeongguk is big, and most of his cock doesn’t fit in your mouth, so you happily suck what you can and fist the rest of him.  He feels as good in your mouth as you expected him to, heavy against your tongue and the taste heady.  You pull off to breathe, jaw aching from the girth of Jeongguk’s cock, and he coos as you gasp for air.

“So good baby, so close, just a little more, yeah?  Gonna cum down that throat of yours, gonna feel so good, mmm,” he moans as you swallow him back down, fighting through your need to gag to hold your mouth around him and just suck, twisting your hands around the rest of him, “Y/N.”

You whine as Jeongguk reaches down to hold your head steady, before catching on that he wants to fuck your mouth.  You moan around him, making sure to keep your teeth hidden as you tongue at the head each time he thrusts in.

“Ah, yes, yes, gonna cum,” Jeongguk growls, leaning up on an elbow to watch your face intently as you glance up at him, “Hnng!”

There’s so much cum and you try to swallow as much as you can, but you have to pull off to breathe and a few splatters land on your cheek and jaw.  You continue to jerk him through it and Jeongguk hisses through his teeth at the sensitivity, baring his neck as he lets you work his cock roughly before he unceremoniously pulls you up to him to shove his tongue in your mouth.

You laugh breathlessly as you fall against him, trying to keep up.

“You’re insatiable,” you condemn and he grins against the column of your throat.

“You just make me feel so good, sound so pretty for me,” he tells you, “Want to fuck you so bad.”

You can’t help the way you clench your legs together and Jeongguk can feel the muscle movement from where you’re settled on his lap, calming down together.

“Soon,” he promises, running his hands up your back as you relax against him, heart beat slowly returning to normal, “Let’s just enjoy yourselves, like you said.” 

-

You’re humming to yourself as you help prepare meat in the dining hall.  Some of the pack members had gone on a hunt the day before and the second run had gone out this morning.  They were trying to stock up on their own food, as well as add to the supplies they were going to trade to your tribe for the Lottery.  Well, your old tribe.

Jeongguk had gone out on the second run and he had been excited this morning.  Jeongguk told you he liked hunting more for the physical aspect than the actual hunting part, though he did disclose that one of his favorite memories was taking down an elk all by himself.  He promised to find a rabbit, which was meat you really liked, so you two could have dinner in your cabin and you found the gesture incredibly sweet.

However, when Minseo rushes into the preparation room, eyes wide and chest heaving, your heart drops into your stomach.  The chatter from the other pack members dies down quickly, as you all zero in on the absolute panic on Minseo’s face.

“Minseo what’s-”

“It’s Jeongguk,” she whispers, reaching a shaky hand to you, “Jeongguk’s hurt, we have to go.”

You hear the words, can see Jeongguk bleeding in your mind’s eye, but you can’t make your feet move.  Jeongguk’s hurt.  Your future mate is hurt and all you can think is the worst, hand tightening around the knife in your hand.

“Y/N, dear, it’s okay,” Minseo gently takes the knife from you, laying it on the table as your breathing shortens, “C’mon, he’s in the healing hut, let’s go see him.”

Minseo holds you close to her as the two of you sprint over to the healing hut.  The closer you get the louder it becomes and you two see the rest of the second run standing around outside, debriefing Alpha Kim.  Some of them are already bandaged up, favoring legs and holding limp arms to their chests.  You can only hope Jeongguk made it out with as minor injuries.

Alpha Kim notices you and Minseo drawing closer and beckons you into the hut, “He’s okay, he’s inside.  He’s asked for you, go see him.”

You quickly nod at him, bounding up the stairs and holding your breath as you push the door open.

The first thing you notice is how disheveled Jeongguk’s hair is, face dirty and gaunt and a small frown marring his face.  The second thing you notice is the bandage wrapped around the entirety of his left arm, stained red in some spots.  The third and last thing you notice is Ina curled up in Jeongguk’s lap, sobbing.

They haven’t noticed you and Minseo yet, the door opening too soft to be heard over the sound of Ina’s crying.  You go to take a step forward and announce your presence, but Minseo places a firm hand on your shoulder and shakes her head, motioning for you to be quiet.  You want to protest, to let them know you’re here, but realize Ina is talking as she cries.

“Why did you have to choose her?” she asks, hands clutching at Jeongguk’s pants, face hidden, “Why did you have to step out of the pack?”

Jeongguk sighs softly, a light hand placed on the back of her head as he tries to console her, “Ina, we talked about this…”

“No, you talked about it,” she vehemently denies, “You decided we weren’t a match and you decided to end it.  I wanted to work through it and stay together.”

Together?  You should have known from the way Ina had approached you and the way she talked to you that there had been something between them.

“I could have made you so happy,” she whispers, pulling away to look up at him.  Your heart breaks for her.

“Ina, I wouldn’t have been happy if I had stayed,” he breaks it to her in a gentle voice.

“You never even gave us a chance!” she rips herself away from him, standing up and turning so quickly that you barely have a chance to prepare for when your eyes meet

Ina’s nostrils flare dangerously but you meet her stare head on.  Jeongguk stands up behind her, ready to step in, but you shake your head at him.  You and her were going to have to talk it out one day, better now when everyone can bare witness.

“You’ll never take away the fact that I was his first,” she declares and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her childish attack.  You wanted to be civil, seeing as how you’re in the same pack now, but she’s made it clear she has no intentions of ever treating you as an equal.

“Well, we all make mistakes,” you shrug.  You can’t deny the little trill of fear that runs down your spine when her eyes narrow and her hands clench.

“You bitch-”

“Ina,” Jeongguk growls behind her, voice low and authoritative, “Don’t talk to her like that.  I didn’t “choose” Y/N; if she hadn’t volunteered it would have been whoever was drawn from the Lottery.  I’m sorry but that’s the truth.”

Ina’s face twists and she turns her head away for a moment before she charges forward.  Your eyes widen, bracing yourself for impact, but Minseo guides you away from the door to let her barrel out of it.

It’s quiet for a few moments, before Jeongguk sighs heavily and sits back on his medical cot.   His movement snaps you back into the moment and you take a small step towards him, causing him to raise his head to look at you.

Jeongguk looks exhausted as he simply stares at you for a moment, before he raises his arms in welcoming and you fall into him.  You wrap your arms around his shoulders, cradling his head to your chest as the tension in your body floods out of you.  You’re not surprised to find that a few tears fall, utterly relieved to see and feel that Jeongguk is only minorly injured.

“Y/N,” Jeongguk says tiredly, breath washing across your skin, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

You shake your head, kissing his crown as you rub your fingers against the back of his neck, “I don’t care about Ina right now, are you okay?”

Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh again, the arms he had tightly wrapped around you growing limp, “So tired.”

“What happened?” you asked softly, “How did you get hurt?”

“Bear,” he says gruffly, “Took us by surprise.  Snagged m’arm with its claws.  Had’ta flee.”

His words are starting to slur and you squeeze him to you for a long moment before you slowly ease him back down onto the cot.  Jeongguk doesn’t fight against you, nuzzling against the hand you lay on his cheek as he gets comfortable.

“Rest now,” you kiss his cheek and his eyelashes flutter closed, “You’re okay.”

You watch his face even out as he falls asleep, the furrow between his eyebrows slowly smoothing.  When you turn around, you see Minseo watching the two of you with soft eyes and a softer smile.

She simply says, “Let’s let him rest.  We’ll prepare him dinner and you can deliver it later.”

“That sounds good.”

There’s quiet between the two of you as you head back to the dining hall before Minseo breaks it, “He was wrong, you know.”

“Jeongguk?” you question and she nods, “About what?”

“He says he didn’t choose you, but he’s wrong.”

“How so?” you ask, because you very plainly volunteered, there was no choosing on his end.

Minseo smiles serenely up at the clear blue sky, closing her eyes against the sunlight, “He chose you the moment you stepped forward.”

-

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Jeongguk frowns at you, watching you change into heavier clothes.

You roll your eyes, completely exasperated with him, “I don’t care what you think, I want to do this.”

You pull a thick cloak around you, cinching it around your neck as you face him.  He’s tonguing his cheek, staring intensely at the wall as he thinks.  The two of you have been arguing about this for the past half hour, the both of you adamant on opposite stances.

“You don’t know the area well enough,” he finally settles on, “There are other pack members who would be more useful on this supply run.”

You pause in lacing your boots up, slowly and carefully facing Jeongguk as he seems to realize the implications behind his words.

“You think I’m useless?” you ask in an even tone and he takes a step towards you before you even finish.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he snaps, as you glare at him and shove past him.  He snags your arm to turn you to him before you can leave the bedroom, “I just meant-”

“I know what you just meant,” you rip your arm from his grasp, continuing down the hallway, “I can’t just be your bitch forever Jeongguk, I have to be of some use to the pack.”

“No one thinks-!” Jeongguk is hurrying after you as you head towards the front door, but you’re done listening.

“I’m going whether you like it or not,” you tell him fiercely, and he stands kind of dumbly in place, eyes wide and chest heaving, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Y/N!” he calls out, but the only answer he gets is the slamming of your front door in his face.

When Alpha Kim had approached you about accompanying some pack members on a supply run, you had immediately said yes.  You’d only been with the pack for a few days but you felt like a burden, so you tried to pitch in wherever you could: clothes mending, laundry, food prep, farming.

This supply run would give you a chance to get to know some of the pack members a little better and the surrounding area as well.  You were excited about it, and it hurt your feelings a little when you had told Jeongguk and his response had been a shake of his head.

“No, I don’t think you should go,” he had said, casually, turning away from you like the conversation was over.

He seemed to think that because he was an alpha, what he said went, but you were your own person and you had already decided you were going on the supply run; you had told Jeongguk out of courtesy, not permission.  So you had simply left Jeongguk to his lunch and went to pack some of your belongings before you really began arguing, before he called you useless.

Now, you’re approaching the group gathered outside Yoongi’s cabin, the alpha the leader of this particular run.

“Ah, Y/N, good, you’re here.  That should be everyone, are we ready to set out?” his voice is quiet but commanding, and your little group quiets down as they nod their agreement.

You don’t look back as you follow the group out to the edge of your pack boundary line and across it, chatting with the human girl Jihyo.  You two have spent some time together since you’ve arrived and you feel better about not being the only human on the run.

Yoongi leads your group in his shifted form, nose to the ground as other shifted members flank the sides.  You dislike the idea of the shifters circling around you humans like you need protection, but considering you still don’t know the area, you don’t fight against it.  You’re sure they’re just being extra careful with you as well, considering how new you are.

You and Jihyo collect some simple and easy herbs as you walk.  There’s a deer den the group is headed to and there’s a black berry patch Jihyo had mentioned that was near it.  You’re expected to reach a camping spot by sun down, head into the deer den to catch them by surprise in the early morning, swing by the berry patch, and reach home just before dinner.  You hope that it’ll give you and Jeongguk enough time to calm down after your little spat to talk it through.

Yoongi stops suddenly in front of you, one of the pack members stumbling into him as he raises his nose to sniff quickly at the air, tail stiff with alert.  The others seem to realize something’s amiss as they crowd you and Jihyo in between them, watching the tree line for whatever it is Yoongi’s smelling.

Except Yoongi lets out an amused huff before he shifts back, turning to face the way your group had just come from.

“You might as well come out of hiding, I can smell you,” he calls out and you look where he’s looking, but with your diminished senses you can’t see anything.

Until a black body shifts its way between some bushes, head held high as he walks to you.  You roll your eyes and turn away from Jeongguk as he joins your group, padding his way up to Yoongi, ears and tail lowered in respect.

“Weren’t you attacked by a bear a two days ago?  Should you really be following us?” Yoongi asks rhetorically, before he shifts back.

Yoongi barely gives any of you time to adjust to the new addition to your group, sticking his nose back to the ground as he continues to follow the trail.

Jeongguk turns his head to look back at you but you push forward with Yoongi, refusing to spare him a glance.  You can feel your blood boiling. How dare he follow you like you’re some little girl who needs her father to watch over her.

Jeongguk doesn’t approach you as you and Jihyo continue to collect easy supplies as you walk.  You’re going a little slower than you expected, but the way the pack does things is different than you’re used to.

It becomes evident what’s given Yoongi some concern when he pauses over a dark splatter against a tree trunk, growling lowly in his throat as he sniffs at it.

“That’s… blood,” Jihyo whispers nervously by your side, subconsciously reaching down for your hand in search of comfort.

Jeongguk nears Yoongi and they seem to have a quick conversation if the look they share is anything to go by.  You’re surprised to see them motion for your group to head into the trees, off the established path.  One of the unshifted members behind you explains what’s happening when they sense your hesitation.

“It must be another shifter’s blood if Yoongi’s taking us into cover.  He must not be sure what’s hurt it,” he says, a shifter named Minho, “It looks like old blood though, so it’s probably more a precaution than anything.”

You nod and when you face forward, you can see Jeongguk is looking at you over his shoulder.  You give him a quick, reassuring smile and he accepts it, turning back to help beat down the grass for your group to walk through easier.

Yoongi seems satisfied with your cover after a few hours, shifting back to put a halt to the group.

“We’ll bed down here for the night,” Yoongi announces, the treetops hiding the waning sunlight, “We’re a little farther from the deer den than I would have preferred, but we’re capable and can make do.  I know there’s a little lake nearby where we can get some fish for extra food and wash up really quick, which we’ll do in shifts.  Minho, help me gather some wood.  Seulgi, Jeongguk, you head to the lake-”

“Wait, that’ll leave Y/N and Jihyo by themselves,” Jeongguk quickly interjects, meeting the withering glare Yoongi sends him head on.

“Your point?”

“W-Well, someone should stay with them, shouldn’t they?  Seulgi can handle fishing by herself, I’ll-”

“The two of you will catch more fish faster than just Seulgi by herself,” Yoongi counteracts, before his voice turns teasing, borderline mocking, “What’s the matter, Jeongguk?  Don’t trust your mate by herself?”

“That’s not-!” Jeongguk splutters and you snort, crossing your arms.

“Then Seulgi and you will gather the fish.  You should remember where the lake is, I won’t insult you by holding your hand and walking you to it.”

Jeongguk’s face turns red and he glowers, Seulgi nudging his shoulder good naturedly as they turn away.  Jeongguk does shoot you one last glance but you ignore him again, upset with his response to this whole situation.

“C’mon, let’s start setting up camp,” Jihyo says and you snap back to it, nodding as the two of you get to work.

Quickly, the two of you pat the ground down enough that you’ll be able to easily contain and control your small bonfire.  Jihyo shyly asks if she can set her sleeping pad near yours and you feel your heart constrict in a pleasant manner, pulling yours closer to hers in answer.  You like Jihyo and you hope that your friendship with her only grows.

“Jeongguk’s been acting kind of weird today,” she observes, almost hesitantly, like she’s afraid to cross any boundaries.

You sigh as the two of you settle in to wait for everyone to get back.

“Yeah, we had a fight this morning about this supply run.  We’ll be okay, I’m just upset with how much it seems like he doesn’t trust me.  I know we’ve known each other for less than a week, but all this seems completely uncalled for.  He followed me out here for god’s sake.”

Jihyo nods, taking it what you’re saying and thinking it over, before she says, “I have no advice, sorry.”

You laugh, patting her hand as you smile, “It’s okay.  It’s something Jeongguk and I have to figure out for ourselves.”

“For what it’s worth, it seems to me like he’s just worried about you; I’ve only known Jeongguk a few years and he’s always been kind of reserved and off on his own, but whenever you’re around he always seems to be a little more present and engaged.”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair, and she smiles reassuringly at you, as she says, “Maybe try and talk to him tonight, before bed.  You’re not supposed to go to bed angry, right?”

You stand as Minho and Yoongi breach your little clearing, arms loaded with more firewood than is probably necessary for a night, but it’ll be good to have as a precaution.  You’re the most adept at starting a fire, having had to use one everyday to heat your little hut in your old tribe and whenever you wanted to eat, so you have it going in no time at all.

The four of you sit and talk as you wait for Jeongguk and Seulgi to get back, and it takes longer than you were expecting.  You’re not sure how far this lake is but it can’t be that far and Jeongguk’s not enough of an idiot to have gotten lost.  You briefly think about the dried shifter blood and start to worry that whatever got it had got them.  Yoongi must detect the change in your heart rate because he shoots you a comforting smile.

The relief you feel when they finally come back, sacks loaded with fish, is overtaken by surprise when Jeongguk unceremoniously dumps a large and slimy catfish in your lap with a wet plop.

“I caught this for you,” he simply says, turning away immediately to hand his sack to Yoongi so they can start gutting the contents.

You stare at the fish in your lap for a moment, it’s dead beady eye staring back at you as you start to smile.  Even in the midst of a fight he’d been thinking of you and you shake your head, pulling a knife out of your belt to gut and debone it.

You wonder if, as you bed down for the night, Jeongguk is going to sleep beside you.  You’ve gotten used to sharing space with him the past few days and your sleeping pad feels empty without him.  He and Yoongi are talking on the other side of the smoldering fire, probably a plan for the sneak attack on the deer in the morning, and he looks handsome in the firelight.  His jaw is drawn tight, chewing on his lip as the two of them strategize, arms crossed over his chest with his biceps flexing as he shifts his weight from foot to foot.  He’s handsome, you’ll never deny that, and what makes him even more attractive is the way he cares, especially about others.  Especially about you.

You’re less mad at him now then you were earlier, but you know it’s something the two of you still have to discuss; he needs to realize that you are an individual and you get to make your own decisions, whether he agrees with them or not.  But you realize he was right in being worried about you going on the run in the first place, unfamiliar with the pack and the area. You’ll let him know that you’ll listen to him more next time if he’s willing to do the same.

Jeongguk suddenly glances over at you and you don’t shy away from his gaze, even if your heart does jump with surprise.  You scoot back on your pad a little to pat the space in front of you and he smiles, a small genuine one, before he motions you to wait a few more minutes.  You’re content with that, letting yourself relax as you watch him finish up his conversation, before he eagerly pads his way over to you.

“Gukkie,” you smile at him as he settles right beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist to haul you into him.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you softly, at odds with the way he tightly holds you close to him.

“The fish was good,” you tell him and he grins happily at you.

“Seulgi was getting mad at how long I was taking, but when I saw it I knew I wanted to get it for you,” he admits and you laugh at him.

“There were plenty of other catfish you could have caught,” Seulgi grumpily snaps at him, still awake and sitting by the fire even though her eyes are starting to droop, “It didn’t have to be that particular one.”

He ignores her and you poke his side for it, Jeongguk just burying his face in your shoulder.  You smooth a hand down his back, bunching his tunic top in your hands as you keep him close, breathing in his comforting scent as your body melts into him.  He shifts so the two of you are a little more comfortable, one of his arms sliding under your head as a makeshift pillow while one of your legs slides between his.

“Are we okay?” he whispers to you, the chatter of the last few pack members serving as quiet background noise.  You think you can hear Jihyo snoring, enhanced by the few crickets you guys haven’t scared away.

“I still want to calmly discuss it and not just accept your bribe of fish-”

“-it wasn’t a bribe-” he sulks.

“-but I get it,” you tell him gently, laying your free hand on his cheek.  He kisses your palm as you continue, “we should’ve talked it out more before I stormed off and you decided it was necessary to crash the party.”

Jeongguk has the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry I just- sorry.  Yoongi’s right, I should trust you more.  I just worry about you, being new to the pack and the area.  I trust the members with my life but if something happened to you on this run and I wasn’t here to protect you, I’d never forgive myself.”

“You won’t always be able to protect me,” you gently admonish him.

Jeongguk heaves out a heavy sigh, like it pains him to admit, “I know.  I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” you tell him, “I should have listened to your concerns seriously before I got mad.  It’s just… hard for me to listen to others. It’s been just me for so long, I’m not used to other people caring for me.”

“Sounds like we both have some things we need to work on,” Jeongguk notes and you smile into his neck.

“Together?” you whisper, glancing up at him.

“Together,” he smiles before he kisses you.

“Ugh, get a room,” Yoongi gags from the other side of the bonfire, and you and Jeongguk giggle into each other.

-

You and Jeongguk are incredibly sexually compatible, that much is obvious, but more than that, you find that you genuinely enjoy being around him.  Time and time again, you find the two simply together and enjoying each other’s presence, not just each other’s bodies.

It’s nice.  A comfortable life with someone you genuinely enjoy being around and someone you didn’t just settle for is not something you’d ever have.  Jeongguk makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, tears clinging to the corner of your eyes.  He makes you cry with soft stories of his childhood, recounting precious memories with his parents and grandparents, about friends that have come and gone.

It’s amazing.  He’s amazing.  You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to pop this bubble that you’ve been living in for the past few days, but it doesn’t come.  You don’t expect your life with Jeongguk to always be this easy, but you know that if you two continue to work together like you’ve been, you’ll be able to overcome anything.

“Our ceremony is in a few days,” Jeongguk tells you two mornings before your ceremony, curled around you with your head resting on his bicep.

He’s scratching at your scalp, and you’ve noticed these last couple of days that he’s lost most of his feral features.  His nails are short and blunt, and his fangs have retracted to match the rest of his teeth. You’ve learned that it wasn’t so much that Jeongguk’s feral transformation that made him lose his communication skills, but that he’s fairly reserved most of the time naturally.  It doesn’t bother you; you like watching Jeongguk just exist in the space around him, filling it entirely with his very being.

“I know,” you whisper, brushing the lightest touch against the newly started ink on his chest.  It’s part of the ceremony, Jeongguk having earned the right to bear the pack’s insignia, and it’ll be completed by the time you say your mating vows.

“Are you nervous?” he asks, using the leverage he has in your hair to tilt your head back, staring intensely down at you, “Are you regretting your decision?”

“No,” you tell him immediately, because you don’t, “there are some things I regret in life, but you’ll never be one of them.  But yes… I am nervous.  I don’t know why though.”

He smiles sweetly at you, kissing you even sweeter.

“I can’t wait,” he says honestly, smattering kisses across your face as he tries to pull you closer, though there’s miniscule space between you two already, “getting to do this with you for the rest of my life… it sounds almost too good to be true.”

You bury your face in his chest and he lets you, wrapping his arms tightly around you as he pins you to the furs.

“You’re sappy,” you mumble into his chest and he hums, not denying it, “but the rest of our lives has a nice ring to it.”

The only thing that could potentially put a damper on your mood is Ina, who has been nothing but rude and condescending to you.  You ignore her, for the most part, and don’t mention anything to Jeongguk because it’s not worth a second thought.  Jeongguk is your mate now and it’s something she’ll just have to accept.

Jeongguk’s friends, Jimin and Taehyung, are really sweet to you, and help you prepare for your ceremony considering your lack of friends.  But you think you can begin calling them friends of your own as they help rub oil into your skin, specifically around your neck, to help loosen and slightly numb it to prepare it for your mating bite.  They also help you make a necklace for Jeongguk, your own symbol of possession considering you can’t return his bite.

The night before your ceremony, you’re whisked away from Jeongguk, Minseo giggling at the outrage on his face.

“It’s bad luck to see your mate before the ceremony, Y/N’s gonna have to stay with me tonight,” she lies and you cackle as Jeongguk whines at her, uncaring of the fact that he’s amidst his pack in the dining hall.

Some of the older women coo at him as he stands, stalking towards the two of you as Minseo drags you around.  The rest of the pack joins in on the fun, pulling you around the hall as they block Jeongguk’s attempts from getting to you.  The both of you laugh as you play along, you hiding behind people as Jeongguk wrestles pups to the ground, acting like they’re his biggest obstacle.

“I’ll never get to her this way!” Jeongguk proclaims, letting one of the pups gain the upper hand and put him in a rather strong headlock for someone his size, “You’ll never take her from me!”

You giggle as Minseo comes around to collect you, pulling you out from behind a sweet omega named Taeyeon, tucking some hair behind your ear as she slides a clip into your hand.

You grip it tightly as she leans into you, whispering, “This was my mother’s.  It would… mean a lot to me if you wore it during your ceremony tomorrow.  Mother always wanted to see Jeongguk’s mating ceremony and I think she would have loved you.”

It brings tears into your eyes and you hug her tightly, as the crowd around you continues to laugh and play loudly.

“Thank you,” you cry.

Minseo kisses your cheek, keeping you close to her as she says, “Out of any daughter I could have received, I thank the gods it’s someone like you.  I know you and Jeongguk will be happy together.”

Minseo is going to have you flat out sobbing in a few moments as she pulls away to smooth your hair down before she steps back.  You wipe hastily at your eyes, pocketing the clip safe and secure in your pants.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she tells you.

You go to answer, but familiar arms wrap around your waist and lift you up.  You squeal loudly, the crowd bursting into cheers as Jeongguk spins you, grin becoming visible as he shifts you until he has an arm around your back and under your knees, both your arms around his neck.

“Gotcha,” he’s smug, like it was actually a challenge to get to you.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” you sarcastically intone, pressing the back of your hand dramatically to your forehead, “It looks like the big bad wolf has caught me.”

“I’d be careful, little lamb; this big bad wolf has quite the appetite and it seems he’s caught something particularly tasty,” he licks his lips, winking at you, and there are whistles from the crowd.

You snicker but quickly school your features, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you say, “I wonder what I could possibly offer in exchange for my life?”

Jeongguk purses his lips, pretending to think, before he says, “I suppose I could spare you.  In exchange, you have to promise yourself to me.”

“Oh?  That’s a steep price,” you tease, biting your lip as Jeongguk growls a little at you, “Is it worth it, do you think?”

You hear a few people in the crowd shout out yes! and you grin at Jeongguk as he says, “You promise yourself to me, and I in turn promise to devote myself to you until I die.”

“I get to keep my life and receive a promise of my own?  Seems grossly unfair to me.  How about I tack on my own promise of devotion?”

Jeongguk doesn’t respond, just hoists you up a little farther so his aim is more on point when he kisses you hotly.  The crowd around you cheers the two of you on and you can’t quite hide the smile you’re sporting in the kiss, no matter how hard Jeongguk tries to eat it up.

-

The day of your ceremony, Minseo does steal you away from Jeongguk, practically shaking with excitement that she gets to help you dress.

Your dress is made of light cotton, something easy to slip in and out of, both for the ease of the party and the copulation.  Minseo rubs a sparkly powder made from fern flowers, flowers thought to have been blessed by the Moon Goddess, into your hair.  She gives you a watery grin when you slide Jeongguk’s grandmother’s clip into place, securing some hair out of your face.

You’re barefoot, to appreciate the earth beneath your feet, one of the blessings of the gods that allows your pack to survive and prosper.  It’s a beautiful day and at noon the pack members howl, signaling the start of the ceremony.

As Minseo guides you out of her cabin you feel your heart jump up into your throat from nerves.  You have the most absurd thoughts as you approach the center of the pack grounds, things like: will Jeongguk be there to meet you?; has all of this just been a sick joke, a taunt of the gods to show you what you’ll never have?; will you wake up back in your tribe, all alone again?

Minseo squeezes your shoulders as you suddenly stop, eyes wide and breath shortening.

“It’s okay sweetheart, just take your time,” she tells you, “you take this at your own pace, okay?  Today is about you and the start of your life with Jeongguk, this isn’t about anybody else.”

“Will he be there?” you ask her fearfully, afraid that when you reach the center he’ll laugh at you from the sidelines, as if you were ever good enough for him.

“Being Jeongguk’s mother, I know him inside and out.  Y/N, I’ve never seen Jeongguk look at someone the way he’s looked at you.”

You nod, taking a deep breath as Minseo smooths some of your hair down, waiting for your signal.  Finally, you nod with a bit more finality and step forward.

Various pack members throw seeds at your feet as you pass them.  The congregation grows thicker the closer you get to Jeongguk, but they’re purposefully blocking him from view, Alpha and Omega Kim standing at the very end.

“Y/N,” Alpha Kim greets you and you bow to him, “Please, rise.  Accept this gift of our pack, as we formally acknowledge that you are to be mated to one of our alphas, Jeon Jeongguk, and that better yet, you are officially one of our own.  Today and going forward, you are a part of our family.”

You wipe a tear from your eye as Omega Kim steps forward to place a rather simple but beautiful flower crown on your head, you bowing a little lower to show respect and thankfulness for the gift.

“Allow me to be the one to say this: out of any offering we could have chosen, I’m thankful you had the courage to volunteer.  Please, step forward and meet your mate.  If I can be blunt, he’s been rather anxious all morning.”

An indignant hey sounds from behind him and you laugh, the Kims parting to give you your first glance of Jeongguk and it steals your breath away.

He’s standing in the middle of the pack circle, wearing just as simple of a tunic as your dress, just as barefoot, and just as handsome as you’ve seen him everyday this week.  But his hands are clasped tightly in front of him, eyes glassy as he gazes so fondly at you it causes more tears to spring to your eyes.

Jeongguk holds his hands out as your step to him and you willingly follow the way he pulls you to him, dropping his forehead against yours.  The pack is quiet and respectful as you share the moment together, before you feel Jeongguk release a shaky breath.

“Hi,” he says, voice hoarse and you want to laugh but you can feel your lower lip wobbling.

“Hi,” you parrot, throat tight with emotions you’re currently unable to process.

“You look… more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined,” he tells you, raw honesty shining through each word he speaks, “The clip- thank you.  I know grandmother is smiling down on us today.”

You can’t respond, choking on all the words you want so desperately to say to him, but he seems to understand you anyway if the spring light kiss he gives you is anything to go by.

There’s light applauding from the pack as you two straighten, Alpha and Omega Kim stepping up to the two of you.

“Everybody,” Alpha Kim intones, raising his hands high, “Please join me in blessing the joyous joining of these two bodies.  Though they are separate in physical form, they are one in soul.  May the Moon Goddess bless their lives together as we help watch over them, so is our promise as a pack.”

The shifters throw their heads back to howl as you and Jeongguk cross your arms to join hands, Omega Kim wrapping a twine rope that has been steeped in the same fern flower powder in your hair.  It sparkles against your skin, catching the sunlight as she wraps and wraps and wraps, up and down your arms until she knots it in place, knot hanging between your hands.

“In front of the pack, recite your promises.”

“As an alpha,” Jeongguk starts, staring directly at you, voice steady and resolute, “I promise to protect you with my life.  I promise to give you my all, so that we may have a good life together, here, within this pack, until fate intervenes or decides otherwise.  I promise to love you more today than I did yesterday, and love you even more tomorrow.  As my word is my bond, do you accept?”

You don’t think as you nod, already knowing what your answer is, “I accept.”

“Y/N, in front of our pack, please recite your promises.”

You take a moment to gather yourself, rubbing your cheeks against your shoulders to rid yourself of your tears since your hands are bound.  Jeongguk coos softly at you, pure elation etched in his face as he watches you.

“As a human,” you begin, voice shaky with emotion but ringing true with clarity, “I recognize that there is not much I can do to provide for you.  But I promise to be the best mate I can be, to support you in your endeavors and to lift your spirits when you are down.  I promise to love you with my entire heart, until fate decides to bless us with children, and I promise to love and protect them as any mother would do.  As my word is my bond, do you accept?”

“I accept,” Jeongguk whispers, arms straining against the rope in an effort to not just pull you to him and ravage you in front of everyone.

“We as a pack wish you all the happiness in the world,” Omega Kim finishes, reaching forward to undo the knot, letting the twine fall away from your arms as Jeongguk finally pulls you into him.

He’s crying into your hair, holding you close to him as the pack surges forward to give you their congratulations before they set off to get the party started.

“Why are you crying?” you blubber into his shoulder, holding onto him, “Stop it, you’re making it worse!”

He hiccup laughs into your ear, running his hands down your back as he finally pulls away.  Your heart swells as you wipe the tear tracks off his cheeks, leaning up to kiss him softly.  He nuzzles his nose against yours as you pull away, tucking you into his side as you follow the crowd to the party.

“I do really like this dress.  Looks like your Lottery dress,” Jeongguk says, clearing his throat of any remaining tears, tugging playfully at the hem.

“It is!” you say, stepping away as he keeps a grasp on your hand, Jeongguk letting out a laugh as you use it to your advantage to do a little spin, “Well, parts of it.  Figured I’d never wear it again but could still get some use out of it.”

“You look pretty,” he says simply, “and not to be a pervert so early in the afternoon, but you’ll look even better out of it.”

“Shut up,” you blush and he grins.

You and Jeongguk aren’t allowed to drink any wine, to keep yourselves clear headed for your impending copulation.  You two don’t need to drink to have any fun, though, as the two of you twirl around with your pack members, dancing and laughing and eating to your heart’s content.

You’re flushed and sweaty as the sun starts to set, the pack lighting up a bonfire as the party starts to wind down.  You’ve been stopped by individuals of the pack who want to personally congratulate you and wish you well.

“I’ve watched Jeongguk grow up and he’s always been such a sweet boy,” an older beta woman tells you, spindly fingers clutched around yours, “He’ll take such good care of you.  And I can tell you’ll take equally as good care of him.”

Jeongguk is on the other side of the clearing, nodding along as he intently listens to an older alpha tell him a story.  He seems to feel your gaze on him because he pauses in his conversation to glance up at you.  He gives you a small smile, tilting his head in question, but you just smile back as you shake yours.

“You know the old wives tale about the copulation ceremony, don’t you?” the beta asks.

“Oh, no, I don’t believe I have.  What is it?”

“They say that if your fern flowers glow during your copulation, the Moon Goddess is revealing that you’ve found your true mate.”

You’ve actually never heard that wives tale before and the surprise on your face makes the beta laugh.

“Don’t overthink it; it’s just a fairytale we tell the pups.  My advice to you during your copulation is just to relax, you’ll only make things worse for yourself if you’re tense.”

You nod, having already heard this from other mated pairs.  But if you’re being honest with yourself, your not worried about having sex with Jeongguk.  Sure, there’s a little pit in your stomach, but it’s completely overshadowed by the excitement thrumming through your veins at crossing this last intimate barrier with him.

The crowd gets quieter as the moon rises and the party dies down.  There are lots of tired pups being gathered up by their parents as Minseo lovingly embraces you, and then Jeongguk.

“You birthed me, shouldn’t I be hugged first?” Jeongguk exclaims, pulling his mother tightly into his arms as you snort quietly beside him.

“I like Y/N better,” she says simply, but she holds him just as close to her, “I’m happy for you both.”

Jeongguk lets out a shaky exhale, letting her go before he takes your hand, “Thank you.  We’re going to make our rounds before we head to the clearing.”

She nods and gives you a radiant smile, waving you both off.  The rounds involve wishing everyone thanks and bidding them goodnight, older shifters try to give you last minute advice and others your age merely patting you on the back and giving you sly smirks.  Yoongi is probably the worst and you try to ignore the lascivious grin he gets you; he’s already experienced the carnal desires between you and Jeongguk, this isn’t anything new for him.

“Alpha Kim, Omega Kim,” Jeongguk greets and you bow to them and they smile at the both of you, packing up the remaining food to be delivered to your cabin, “thank you for this celebration.  We’re going to go pay our respects to the Moon Goddess now.”

Which is code for: we’re going to fuck like animals.  You try to keep your face neutral, but like with Yoongi, you try not to look Alpha Kim directly in the eyes.

“We wish you all the happiness,” Omega Kim reinterates and you do return this sweet little lady’s genuine kindness, “Oh and Jeongguk?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“Go easy on her,” she teases and you immediately cover your face as you hide behind Jeongguk.  Why are shifters so shameless?

Jeongguk seems just as embarrassed, holding onto you as he whines, “Alpha Kim please control your mate.”

Alpha Kim raises his hands and shakes his head, “Keep me out of this, son.”

The two of them laugh as you wallow in your embarrassment, before Jeongguk forces you beside him to bow one last time and walk away.

“He told her,” you state, glancing up at Jeongguk to see his ears are red, eyes focused on the treeline in front of you.

“He totally told her,” he soullessly intones and you can’t help but crack a smile.

Jeongguk tries not to laugh with you, but he can’t fight the way his lips curl as you giggle into his side.  The walk to the clearing doesn’t take very long and your heart rate picks up when you enter it.

“Jeongguk,” you whisper, eyeing the candles spread around, most of them adorning the base of the Moon Goddess statue.

When you turn to look at him he’s smiling softly at you, leading you further in.

“This could have been a fire hazard,” you scold, for lack of anything better to say.

“Shut up,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, pulling you to the blanket he has laid out in the center of the candles.

You quiet down as you kneel on the blanket, running your hands over the fur.  It feels new, almost untouched, and you spread out on it on your stomach, sighing as some of the tension eases out of your body.  The clearing is quiet and you close your eyes, almost feeling like you could fall asleep.  The thrumming under your skin for what’s to follow can’t be ignored, though.

You don’t jump when a hand grasps your ankle, thumb rubbing against the skin there as another hand travels up the back of your leg, gripping at your thigh.  A kiss is pressed to the crease of your knee and you laugh at the ticklish feeling of it, before the hand on your thigh grips your hip and nudges you to roll over.

You do so, gasp getting caught in your throat when you see Jeongguk kneeling over you, eyes dark and half-lidded as he gazes down at you, his stare intense.  His hand on your hip moves up until it’s clutching at the dip of your waist, his fingers firm and intent, and your eyelashes flutter at the contact.  The want to close your legs is intense, but Jeongguk is slotted between them.  Jeongguk inhales sharply when he feels them tighten around his thighs instead, which is of very little reprieve for you, and if anything it makes the feeling worse.

“Let’s say our prayers to Her,” he tells you, voice already starting to deepen.

You don’t trust yourself to speak so you just nod, letting Jeongguk help pull you up and over to the statue.  You smile up at Her as you kneel at Her feet, clasping your hands in your lap.

Jeongguk bows his head as he says his prayers to Her, but you keep your head raised.  It almost seems as if She is looking back at you, her gaze stony and resolute but still so benevolent.

“I don’t have anything else to ask of You, You’ve already given me Jeongguk.”

The euphoric feeling that spreads through you suddenly is almost too much to comprehend and you sink into it, letting the feeling travel through your body until you can feel it even in your toes.

“Y/N.”

Jeongguk’s voice sends a shiver down your spine and you spin on your knees to see that Jeongguk has already moved to the blanket, leaning back on his hands with his legs extended in front of him.

You can already feel yourself start to get wet as you crawl towards him, Jeongguk sitting up to meet you in a messy kiss.  Your hands fly to his hair, angling his head up to give your neck a little slack, his own landing on your ass.  The feeling in your body gets hotter and more intense the longer you touch Jeongguk, one hand slipping from his hand to trail down his neck and rest on his pec, right over his heart.  The resounding and steady rhythm beneath your palm is comforting, despite the hungry way Jeongguk is trying to devour you.

“Want you.  Need you,” he groans, his hands on your ass drawing you closer, settling you more firmly in his lap so you can feel him compressed hot and hard in his trousers.

“Get naked,” you breathe out, pulling back to rid yourself of your dress.

Jeongguk’s eyes open, mouth forming a half smirk as he no doubt opens his mouth to say something stupid, before his mouth drops open when you unceremoniously pull your dress over your head.  His mouth shuts with an audible click and he acts like every time he sees you naked it’s the first time.  You knock the fern crown off in your haste and Jeongguk replaces it with shaky fingers, hands smoothing down your flyaway hairs.

“I’ll never get over how pretty you are,” he whispers, hands reverently running over your skin, from your shoulders to your fingers and back, down and around your sides to your ass and thighs, “Feel so good in my hands.  Can’t believe I’m the one who gets to touch you like this.”

You whine as you wriggle in his lap, his fingers light and ticklish, “Love your hands, Gukkie, they’re so big.  Touch me more.”

He hums as he leans forward to attach his lips to the top of your tit, sucking at the skin as his hands tweak your nipples.  You don’t really get much out of having your breasts fondled, but Jeongguk seems to like playing with them and the caress of his hands does feel nice, even if it’s not the most arousing.  You still let yourself get lost in the feeling as you run your hands through his hair, letting Jeongguk leave as many love bites as he wants as he works your nipples to hard peaks.

“Taste good,” he mumbles, his breath causing goosebumps to erupt when it hits your wet skin.

“I have something that tastes even better,” you promise, trailing your own hand down your stomach to lightly trace your lips, feeling how wet you already are yourself.

“You think?” he grins, teeth encasing your nipple for a second, “Think I should find out for myself?”

“I think I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me,” you tell him honestly, squeaking as he shifts under you to take you in his arms, slowly lowering you until your back meets the blanket.

His eyes are black and molten as he pulls back from you, lips furiously red from where they’d worked your skin over, “Don’t tempt me, lamb, or I might take you up on that offer.”

You spread your legs wide in response, fingers drumming against your skin from his lack of touch, pussy aching in need.  Jeongguk lets out a slow breath as he finally sheds himself of his clothes, your mating necklace getting caught in his shirt before he pulls it free and lets it fall back against his skin, complimenting his completed tattoo.

“So good for me,” he praises, kissing his way down your body.

Jeongguk appears to have no patience, immediately diving into your pussy like he’ll die without another minute of it on his tongue.

“Fuck!” you cry out, thighs clamping around his head at the sudden feeling, and his strong hands pry them apart and hold them to the blanket, keeping you open for him.

Your eyes roll back as he delves his tongue into you, eagerly licking and sucking any part of your pussy his mouth can reach.  He’s neglecting your clit with his tongue, but his nose brushes against it continuously and its enough to have you fucking your hips up into his face to get more pressure on it.

“Be a good girl and stay still,” he growls, one hand letting go of your thigh to throw his arm across your hips and hold you down, “Gonna get you nice and wet for my cock but… it looks like you did a good enough job of that for me.”

You groan and nod your head, “Want you so bad, Guk, been thinking about your cock all day.”

You can feel him grin into your pussy, which shouldn’t be as hot as it is, before he says, “Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you.”

He’s been fucking you with his fingers all week, so when presses one slowly into you to test the stretch, you’re quick to ask for another.  And then immediately another.

“So greedy,” he tuts, but doesn’t argue as he presses three fingers into you, watching with rapt attention as your back arches at the sensation.

It’s addictive, the way Jeongguk moves and crooks his fingers inside of you, tongue finally lapping against your clit in order to relax you more.  With his arm still holding your hips down, you take to clutching at his hair to move his tongue in a way you like and he lets you guide him, humming against your skin as you clench around his fingers.

When he finally pulls away you whine your dissatisfaction, eyelashes fluttering open as Jeongguk crawls up your body, his chin wet and glistening in the candle light.  You huff as you wipe it off, arm linking around his neck after.

“I was gonna cum,” you pout, accepting his light kiss.

“Oops,” he shrugs, smirking, and you smack his shoulder, pulling him back into you.

You could kiss Jeongguk for hours, tongues stroking together as your hands explored.  You especially like touching his back, the muscles taunt and defined under your hands as he presses his body against yours.  You both moan as his cock nudges into the wet mess that is your pussy, Jeongguk pulling away with a wet smack and a nip at your lower lip.

“I want to have sex like this,” he tells you, laying his palm against your cheek, “I want to watch your face.”

It’s almost embarrassing to think about, but you can’t help but echo his sentiment and the two of you shuffle for a few seconds, Jeongguk planting his knees more steadily into the ground as your thighs bracket his hips.  That nervous flutter starts up in your stomach as Jeongguk presses the head of his cock against your slit, rubbing it slowly against you as he himself seems to gather his nerves.

Jeongguk holds onto cock as he leans back down over you, pressing his mouth reassuringly against yours as he slowly pushes in, your mouth dropping open as he fills you.

You’ve taken cock before, but it had always been quick trysts with men who didn’t care about you, usually with you half clothed and pushed up against a wall, your own fingers rubbing your clit to give you something as they chased their own orgasms.  There had been some girls you had fucked, pussies wet as you rubbed them together, and there had even been a sweet, traveling woman who had buried her face in your cunt for a few hours and worked your pussy raw.  She had pulled the best orgasms out of you until you cried, but then she had disappeared like a ghost and left you aching for days.  Most people didn’t acknowledge you after, unless they wanted to get their rocks off again, and you had gone with it because you had your own needs to fill too.

Jeongguk is not most people and you can feel the tears gathering in your eyes as he pushes his cock in until his pelvis meets yours.  He’s dropped his head to place his forehead against your collarbone, breath ragged as he finally comes to a halt, body quivering as you clutch onto his shoulders.

“Okay?” he asks, voice deep but quiet, “Hurt?”

“I need a sec,” you whimper, trying to relax around the intrusion and he grants you it, keeping you close as he peppers kisses across your skin.

The throbbing in your pussy changes from uncomfortable to needy as he cock pulses in you and you finally rub your nose against his neck and whisper for him to start moving.

Jeongguk takes a shuddering breath as he slowly pulls his cock out and inches it back in, fingers creating indents on your hip as you clench around him, trying to adjust to the feeling.  His thrusts help, loosening your body up as the pain ache transforms into spikes of pleasure.

“Feels good,” you whine, loosening your hold on his shoulders and letting him pull out of your neck, “Gukkie, feels good.”

You smile up at him as his eyes open, before they widen considerably.  His minuscule thrusts stop and you fear the worst, raising a hand to his face.

“What?  What is it?” you worry, trying to turn your head to see if maybe something’s happening and you see-

You see your hair spread around you with the strands glowing against the blanket.  You gasp, raising a hand to pinch some of the powder off your hair to see it coat your fingers, glowing a translucent blue against your skin.

“Y/N,” Jeongguk whispers shakily, reaching a hand up to touch the crown that had fallen onto the blanket when he laid you down, “the flowers… they’re glowing.”

Jeongguk’s right, your hair is glowing and the rest of your body is starting to glow too, where fern powder has fallen onto your skin all day.

“You’re-you’re glowing and that means your- that means we-” Jeongguk’s lower lip is starting to wobble and he can’t finish his sentence, dipping his head to let it rest in your neck again, “Y/N.”

You cry with him, clutching tightly onto Jeongguk as the message the Moon Goddess sent you sets in; Jeongguk and you are true mates.  It doesn’t sound real, as you sob into Jeongguk’s shoulder, and you don’t feel any different than you did ten minutes ago.  But fern flowers don’t randomly glow, especially not after they’ve been plucked, and not coincidentally on your mating day after giving the Moon Goddess your thanks.

Jeongguk kisses you, a messy thing of tears and spit as he undulates his hips, framing your face as he sets the pace.  You can make out faint murmurings of it’s you as Jeongguk tongues you, pelvis pressed against yours as he grinds against you.  The pressure is almost too much, the hard plains of his lower stomach pressing tantalizingly against your clit as you open around his cock.

His pace turns more frantic, pulling his hips back farther and farther, spearing you on his cock more and more as his hands roam your torso.

“Pretty girl, my pretty girl,” he groans, licking a thick stripe up your neck as your legs tighten around him, overcome with the feeling, “So wet, feel so good around my cock.”

You nod in quick agreement, hands slipping down his back as he starts to sweat, “Guk, touch me, please.”

You cry out as his fingers toy with your clit, tears gathering in your eyes, carding your fingers through his hair.  Your orgasm is fast approaching and Jeongguk seems hellbent on sending you over the edge fast.

“Yes, yes, Gukkie, so close,” you pant, having trouble keeping your eyes open.

“Gonna look so good around my knot,” he grunts, the pressure of his fingers turning deadly and you cry at the feeling, “Gonna knot you so good you’ll feel it for days.  This is the only knot you’ll ever need, the only knot you’ll ever want, got that?” his voice turns into a growl and you openly sob.

“Only ever want you, Guk- gonna- gonna-!”

You throw your head back as all sounds get caught in you throat, back taunt as you arch it, Jeongguk fucking you through your orgasm as his fingers don’t slow.  It’s so good, consuming your entire body as it locks up until all you can feel is it and Jeongguk.

“Baby, look so good like this.  God, I’m so lucky.  Gonna bust- gonna knot-”

Jeongguk stops talking, leaning down to clamp his teeth around your neck.  You don’t even flinch at the feeling, your body thrumming from your orgasm.  There is a sort of warmth in your heart at knowing that once Jeongguk leaves his bite claim it’s official by shifter standards, that you and Jeongguk are mated for life.

You gasp as you feel the initial swelling, Jeongguk biting harder in tandem as his knot grows.  You’ve never slept with a shifter before and the swelling, despite being aware of it, is not something you’re quite prepared to take.  You whine as it continues to swell, Jeongguk growling around his mouthful of your skin as his thrusts slow down as it locks you two in place.

You squeeze your eyes shut as Jeongguk begins to cum and bites through your skin, pain erupting along with it.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Jeongguk grunts, licking at your neck before he throws his head back and howls, body twitching in your hold.

There’s… a lot.  It feels like Jeongguk cums for a minute straight, panting heavily into the air before he lets his full body weight fall on top of you.  You wheeze but don’t fight it, pressing your nose into his temple as you breathe together.  Jeongguk licks periodically at your bite wound as your breathing evens out and your heartbeats return to normal.

“I can’t believe it,” Jeongguk finally whispers, “How would I get so lucky?  To meet my true mate through a voluntary offering.”

His words bring tears to your eyes again.  It does seem too good to be true, to have been ostracized from your community only to have that ostracism lead to your volunteering at Jeongguk’s Lottery.

Jeongguk raises his head to meet your eyes and he’s wearing a dopey smile, brushing his fingers over the crown of flowers.

“You’re still glowing,” he whispers, eyes bright and shiny in the candlelight.

“Cut it out, I’m gonna cry,” you hiccup, trying to pull Jeongguk down to kiss you, but he resists, testing the pull of his hips.

His knot has gone down enough that he’s able to pull out, but he quickly plunges his fingers into you.  You go to protest, but the words die in your throat as he gazes very seriously up at you.

“Y/N,” he sounds just as serious, “I just- I love you.”

You reach out and punch his shoulder and he rears back, more out of shock than actual pain, “Ow!  What the hell!”

“You can’t say that to me when you’ve got your fingers in me like that!” you protest, though his words have sent your heart spiraling.

“I didn’t want to let the cum out yet,” he says, pouting like the ridiculous idiot he is.

You open your mouth to say something, but he leans in and softly kisses you, finally removing his fingers so he can hold you by your waist.

“I just wanted you to know,” he says, shameless and honest, “I don’t expect you to say it if you don’t feel it.”

You feel a lot for Jeongguk, but you’re not sure if that feeling is love or not, so you keep it to yourself for now.  Jeongguk doesn’t seem offended, if the sweet kisses he continues to give you mean anything.  He places a hand on your cheek to tilt your head and you hiss as it pulls the stiff skin of your neck.

Jeongguk grins as he pulls from kissing your mouth to kissing your neck, the attention alleviating some of the pain.

“We have the clearing all to ourselves,” Jeongguk murmurs against your skin and you hum in acknowledgement, letting him slowly guide you back down on the blanket, “Let’s lay here for a bit, yeah?  I wanna take my time with you.”

“Guk…” you start off and he looks up at you, raising a quizzacle eyebrow, “... thank you.”

He doesn’t ask for what.  You both already know, can both feel it when he raises up to kiss you again, with the intention of taking advantage of all the time you guys have left.  Which is forever.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Introducing My Fallout OCs!

OMGGGG y’all, I can’t. I’ve apparently reached over 200 of you fantabulous followers and I am so ecstatic! I honestly don’t even know if this is considered a milestone or anything, but I was super psyched, so I'm doing something about it, dang it!

Also, just a heads up on me right now, I just started school again, so my posting miiiiiiight be a bit sporadic every now and then, but I’m determined to still try and get a few posts out every week, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m also pretty backed up on requests at the moment, I’m still accepting them for the time being, but I may turn off my asks if I’m finding difficulty getting to everyone.  

Anyways, I know I don’t ever really talk about my Fallout Original Characters, but I’m thinking of doing some stuff with them in the future, so this seemed like a good place to start  🤷‍♀️ So, here they are! One from each of the 3 FO games I write for. If ya’ll want to send in any asks about these folks, please feel free to do so! 

(Art for these peeps is pending potentially as well).

My Lone Wanderer: Hope

Appearance: 

- Basically like a black-haired, blue eyed Sarah Connor (y’know, from Terminator), she’s got a small frame, but is an absolute beast. She loves to change up her hair, but prefers the iron maiden, unladylike, or rude ridge styles and will often dye it bright-ass colors, cuz why not? She’s pretty pale considering the vault background and the fact she is constantly wearing full body combat or leather armor when she’s outdoors, and she has a few piercings she actually got before leaving the vault. 

What’s in a Name: 

- “Hope” was the name that her parents chose for her before she was even born, but she can’t stand it, she just tends to see it as a cruel joke in the world they live in. She instead goes by Effie (short for Ephialtes, cuz she’s edgy and dramatic and read too much in school). Hope tends not to tell anyone her real name, and if she does, you’d best not use it to refer to her, unless you like being enslaved. The only one who could ever get away with it is Jericho and a select few people from the vault (Stanley, and her father, but she’s still not happy about it.)

Sexuality: 

- Pansexual

Main Companion: 

- Jericho

Relationship(s): 

- She has a sort of “friends with benefits” type situation going with Jericho, but it ends up getting... complicated, and turning somewhat into a relationship.

Bestie(s):

- Even though he’s her boss, Hope likes to hang out with Eulogy when she’s in Paradise Falls. When she was in the vault, she spent a lot of time with Stanley, and was pretty close with Butch, Wally, and Paul as well. 

Fam Dam: 

- James and Catherine are/were her parents (obviously). But she also considered Stanley to be a sort of uncle to her. 

Karma: 

- Oh, the worst. She’s honestly awful. She steals, she murders, she enslaves, she blows up settlements, all of it. She’s got a lot of things she needs to work out...

Faction of Choice: 

- The Slavers of Paradise Falls. (Yeah... she sucks.) The Brotherhood and the Outcasts just never really struck her fancy, and her and Jericho found it was easy to make bank with the slavers. Hope also is a friend to Allistair Tenpenny and Mister Burke... and not the folks in Megaton. Cuz they’re all not really alive.

Vault Occupation: 

- Engineer

Fun Fact!:  

- Hope is really bad with empathy, and absolutely needs to experience something for herself before she can make any sort of judgement on it, or other people who have had that same experience.

My Courier Six: Sage

Appearence: 

- Sage doesn’t really consider herself very “flashy” in comparison to most folks in NV. She’s got shoulder length brown hair (blast back or clean cut style) and brownish-hazel eyes. She’s pretty damn tan (Mojave, you know) and doesn’t have many scars, but the ones on the right side of her forehead clearly indicate where she was shot in the head (thanks, Benny). She and Boone tend to twin quite a bit, with matching red berets and sunglasses.

What’s in a Name: 

- The poor girl has no clue what her real name was before she was shot, but she saw a box of labelled herbs in Doc Mitchell’s house when she was recovering from her headwounds and decided she liked the name “Sage.”

Sexuality: 

- Bisexual

Main Companion: 

- Craig Boone

Relationship: 

- Also Boone :) it’s a pretty darn slow-burn romance with lots of bumps along the way, but their love always seems to prevail. (Gross and sappy, I know)

Bestie(s): 

- Arcade, plus Rex, and ED-E. Also Victor and Doc Mitchell.

Fam Dam: 

- No clue, unfortunately. She eventually tries to find out something about her past and her family, if she has any, but she’s got a few things to deal with first (hint, one rhymes with pleaser’s fleegion).

Karma: 

- She may make mistakes along the way, but Sage really does try her best to be as good as possible. 

Faction of Choice: 

- Mr. House and the Followers of the Apocalypse. Would like to get rid of House, but can't bring herself to become responsible for everything once he's gone. She considers herself his personal empathy and tries to assist with the goings on of the Mojave even after the battle of hoover dam. Fucking wiped out everyone in the Legion. Her and Boone are a force to be reckoned with. And she never really cared much for the Brotherhood since she had such little interaction with them. She has a good relationship with Freeside and most of the settlements/other towns as well.

Previous Occupation: 

- Courier? She has no idea what else. But she’s oddly really good with medicine 🤔

Fun Fact!: 

- She supports Mr. House for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that she doesn't want to lose Victor. He saved her, and she considers the securitron to be her oldest friend (besides Doc Mitchell). She knows it's a little selfish, but she can't bring herself to put an end to him after he pulled her from her own grave and helped bring her back from the brink of death.

My Sole Survivor: Jolene Arvanidis-Ryan

Appearence: 

- She’s got auburn hair she usually keeps cut short (clean cut) or in a bun, green eyes, pale skin with a good amount of freckles and has exceptionally straight teeth (braces suck, but you know.) When traveling with Cait, people tend to think they’re related. Jolene tends to wear a black beret and, if she has the time and resources, she likes cat eye style eyeliner. 

What’s in a Name: 

- Her first name runs in the family... plus her dad really liked Dolly Parton, so that helped cement the first name for him. Nate’s last name was Arvanidis, and she tends to use that as her last name exclusively, she rarely reveals her maiden name (Ryan) to anyone. 

Sexuality: 

- Straight

Main Companion: 

- Paladin Danse

Relationship: 

- It takes a long time (post BB), but she ends up being with Danse. 

Bestie(s): 

- MacCready and Cait

Fam Dam:  

- Pre-war, her father was a carpenter and her mother was a major in the US military, she had no siblings and was very close with her father since her mom was often away on deployment. 

Karma: 

- Decent. Tries her best to do what’s “right,” but she sometimes has a hard time determining what that is. Is good at following orders, even if she doesn’t always agree with them (BB is the exception in this case).

Faction of Choice: 

- Brotherhood of Steel, at least until BB, then she tends to focus more on the Minutemen, but still stays by the BOS’s side when it comes to taking down the Institute. Despite her loyalty to the BOS, she always regrets what she did to the Railroad, and how she ended things with the Institute, and she holds quite a bit of resentment towards Elder Maxson for ordering her to pull the trigger that ended her son’s life, and the other lives within the Institute. 

Previous Occupation (Pre-War): 

- She was a Gunnery Sergeant in the US Military. (Trying to follow in her mother’s footsteps).

Fun Fact!: 

- She hates killing feral ghouls, but keeps it under wraps since she tends to travel with MacCready and Danse the most. After that random encounter where she found herself murdering her own neighbors, she can’t bring herself to look into the eyes of any feral ghouls she has to kill. 

Bonus! Fun Fact!:  

- She started out as my sort of "throw away" playthrough where I wanted to do a BOS run, just out of curiosity, but she ended up being my main playthrough… probably because Danse is just the best and I can't get enough of that tin can thesaur-ass.