#so in english???? not gonna happen.
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In early spring, it finally time for Cornelius to have his birthday. He ages up into a sweet and gentle boy, who shares his older sister's love for the chickens on the farm.
As the oldest sibling, Lucy loves having a little brother to care for. She senses her brother's sensitive nature, and sees a lot of himself in him.
#if u see me make grammar issues no u didn't#I can barely keep up with the rules in my native language#so in english???? not gonna happen.#1890#ts4 decades challenge#ts4 historical#the landgraab legacy#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#nellie landgraab#lucy landgraab#simblr#cornelius landgraab
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Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
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rain with cappuccino
remember when i said i was done with cocole hanahaki
yea me too
shitpost comic to compensate for the angst im sorry 😭
#rhythm doctor#chiimo art shenanigans#cocole#BAD END ISNT CANON DW i just listened to rain with cappuccino and unfortunately neuron activation happened#overpainting rendering is unironically much easier then regular lineart rendering#idk im probably just angry at lineart all the time 💀#“i love nicole so much shes my favorite!!1!1!” <- proceeds to make her suffer#lyrics are from the english cover by rachie btw#i was gonna use the official/direct translation but her cover made me feel like crying even more 10/10 experience
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I read the shit I wrote yesterday and like. Dude this is Weird
#like I wrote that that was my hands that typed that gay shit#im. I don’t think it even fits the theme I could change a few things to make it more on theme ig??? but idk im probably not gonna post it#probably. im not sure I don’t know#no one elseis gonna write it I guess. I think. I don’t know#again nothing even happens they just talk about it but it’s still Weird#idk smth smth sex as just a topic or something that’s happening from different perspectives who like it more or less than the other is an#interesting thing to think about#there was a book I read for English last year called smth like ‘beautiful world’ or smth by ocean vuong. I definitely spelled that wrong#and that topic came up a few times and how he explained it was really interesting#he was gay in the like 90s or 80s and they had to keep their relationship a secret and shit idk it was cool it was interesting to think abt#like it can be used as a topic the same way a fight could or a walk in the woods is#also im like a grey ace so im definitely seeing just that whole topic in general as like. idk smth that isn’t real like how you’d talk about#a dragon or smth like it’s talked about a lot and you see it in media and shit but you know it’ll never happen to you/you won’t actually see#it yourself#cod I talk a lot
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one day I wish I could actually like understand songwriting especially for theatre so that I can I dunno actually put to use the random tunes I have in my head that just spontaneously appear while I'm doing the most mundane of shit. anyways patron has the concept of an opening number now
#im gonma call it Silakbo#the gist of this is um LOOK TO REALLY EXPLAIN WHAT PATRON IS UMM#understand that patron was originally two separate musical ideas whose events occur At The Same Time To Teach Other#so like yea same universe#Patron (pronounce it in the Filipino way) is about modern student activism in the philippines and the nitty gritty of it#Patron (english pronunciation) is about a young filipino playwirght struggles to find their voice in an american landscape (new york)#especially in the context of the events of Filipino Patron#both discuss what it means to be a young filipino revolutionary in this day and age#so um i first thought of this when i was 17-18 - and now im 20 and like the masochist i am i have decided to have them become one project#dual protagonist - one a new and rather sheltered stude of UP Diliman and one decorated young progressive writer in New York#the former is a journey of looking beyond privilege and what it really means to be among the masses#the latter is a story of how privilege blinds - and how susceptible we are to american neoliberalism#that it dulls once sharp pens + the irony of succumbing to such amidst environment and communities that scream for resistance#and whatever one protag does affects the other protag - whatever happens in america affects philippine events and vice versa yay#anyways openign number Silakbo is the arrival of these two protagonists to their respective settings - both with their own musical styles#(UPD protag progresses from broadway belts to pinoy hiphop - NY protag progresses from pinoy hiphop to broadway belts) (this is A Clue)#and most of UPD protag songs will be sung in Filipino while NY Protag will um progressively grow into being fully English#and silakbo can be used synonymously with storm so its basically a storm is coming who's gonna bring it#a change is approaching who's gonna chase it#tbh this out of all of my works is gonna be inspired heavily from lmm's work because tbh this is gonna be a beast to even conceptualise#so um yea thats a mini patron ramble woo hope its um understandable at worst 😭#personal shit#also yes the NY storyline is based on um once progressive Filipinos becoming subservients to conservative and harmful politics#either out of ignorance or power or simple nonchalance#i can name a lot of namess gjdjd
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As long as other people are complimenting your art I'll pitch in; I looooovee your style, there's so much diversity in the way you draw different facial features and the poses the movement the dynamics the everything is just mwah *chefs kiss*. Also your ideas about the specific character interactions are always so delightful to read. I've been studying a whole bunch of artists who's art specifically is appealing to me to try and figure out why and how to implement those attributes into my own art, and you're high on the list :))
I can't stress enough just how flattered I am to hear this, like imagine me taking your hand in mine and thanking you this is so nice <3
#i love giving characters distinct features its like a little treat for myself#as for character interactions i think my skill (?) in that stems from the fact i used to do rp for like 5 years#english was also a fave subject of mine so i love analyzing character interactions which develops into forming concepts its a cycle#with a dash of 'this actually happened to me and my friends so now it must happen to them' lmao#but anyway i'm being weirdly active today bc i'm gonna be out with friends tomorrow lol
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hello helloo! i just read through your modern au and I'm in love (shocker), i wanted to ask if you'd give some more info on poppy? apologies if there's already a dedicated post to her, looking is not my specialty
there is not! i will gladly ramble!
~
in this au, Poppy is slightly less fearful than canon. this is for several reasons! 1) years of therapy. 2) anxiety meds. 3) teenage years of her friends dragging her out for Shenanigans & hyping her tf up! but she's still a worrywart! she's very cautious! she can and Will see the bad/dengerous side to every situation. but! now she has the tools to not only cope with but combat her intrusive thoughts & fears <3
i think i mentioned it before but she Did Not Realize she was trans until highschool! specifically, when she met Sally! Poppy had to stop by the theater department after school for some reason or another, and Sally noticed her looking longingly at the costume dresses (Poppy thought she was alone lol)
and while Poppy was mortified at being caught, Sally was delighted. they only knew each other in passing and from reputation but Sally started holding up dresses to Poppy and complimenting how well they suited her. (i could joke about how Sally could sniff out the lesbian in her before Poppy even knew she was a girl!) Poppy, flustered by the sudden attention and apparent acceptance, didn't know how to handle it and fled. then started avoiding Sally in the halls. but! eventually she had to go back for Insert Reason Here, and ofc Sally was there. this time around Sally is a little gentler and less assertive, but manages to coax Poppy into checking out the more ~feminine~ costumes again. thus begins their little meetings where Poppy tries on costumes and Sally is her biggest hypeman
it takes a while for things to Click in Poppy's mind! it isn't until she tries on a dress that Sally custom-made for her, wearing some makeup and a wig, that Poppy has her oh moment. unfortunately, some of their ~mutual friends~ (Wally, Barnaby, Howdy) walk in on them. there's a short, terrifying moment where Wally is all "who's your friend, Sally?" and Barnaby has to lean over to let him know "that's Poppy, bud". before Poppy can fully freak out, Wally immediately goes OH! and starts complimenting how pretty she looks. Barnaby chimes in next to ask if the dress is home-made bc it fits Poppy beautifully, Howdy nabs a necklace from the nearby gathered accessories and put it on her to "tie the outfit together". in short! Poppy finds nothing but support from her buddies & they're more than happy to help her figure out this new internal crisis / revelation
then of course eventually she's found out by her family, which goes very well (im using sarcasm! it goes terribly!). Poppy isn't outright disowned or kicked out or in immediate danger, but her relationship with her family is ruined by their transphobic bigotry. her friends have her back throughout this, and the guest room at the Beagle farm is always open to her! Sally continues to make custom clothes for Poppy (something that becomes a love language for the two of them <3).
honestly, this period in Poppy's life is part of what like... idk... strengthens her, in a way? her continuing to be herself and actively rebelling against her family, i mean. Poppy becomes a pretty stellar liar lol (lying to her parents about where she's going, who she's hanging out with, what she does after school, etc). she's very cautious about all of it, but she does it! she's determined to pursue and discover and Realize the woman inside her! i have this sweet scene in my mind of the Group at the Beagle farm chilling on the floor with notebooks, brainstorming on possible names. (Sally enthusiastically says a variation of 'exquisite' to each one, and then when Poppy says 'im not sure about that one' Sally - still enthusiastically - says a variation of 'horrible terrible how could you suggest such an ill-fitting name'). despite everyone's efforts, i like to think that Poppy finds her name entirely on accident! maybe during the Gap Year Road Trip! maybe they stop by a SoCal poppy reserve in superbloom and the flowers Resonate with her! who's to say!
but Poppy begins her (medical) transition in college! she, of course, gets shit for it, but she also begins to find community and enjoyment in the local queer community. and of course, she has her buddies <3
but anyway! i like to think that Poppy participates in local farmer's markets with her crochet work & baked goods, the latter of which is a complete hit! that, plus her first experience with going to a tearoom inspires her to strive towards owning her own! tearooms are right up her alley, i'd say - calm, quiet, and Poppy can make peoples' days a little brighter with a tranquil atmosphere & delicious treats! i swear i have a reason between 'Poppy british = she goes into tea business'. honestly! tearooms are more about the tiny sammies & tasty cones w/ cream! and feeling Fancy while chatting!
i think it takes a while for her to actually be able to start up a tearoom. I'd imagine she starts by holding a small, single-table reservation-based one in her own place once the Group decides on what town to move to. it's successful, slowly (but steadily) grows, until she can get an actual House and transform the ground floor into a full tearoom. lil shop by the checkout counter, several different rooms, a sizeable kitchen. staff! the tearoom is a humble one, but it's a killer holiday & tourist destination! the high ratings even bring in people from out of town!
and when it comes to Poppy & Sally, bc yall know i'm a sucker for Popstar - i like to think that they start dating after (mostly) all of them move into their new town. & after they both have been in prior relationships! and then they never stop dating. well, they do, but that's so that they can upgrade to Wife Status. and then they never stop being wives so there <3
but Poppy is successful and happy! she had a rough go of it but she Makes It! and she continues to make it!
#i hope this Suffices!#ofc the ~lore~ in my mind is a lil more complex#but its Too Much to fully write out yk yk#giving her a tearoom was uhhhhh a bit of Personal Indulgence i will admit!#i used to have a tradition with my mother/grandma/sister where we'd all go to a tearoom once a year#but then grammie bit the dust (or rather - got turned into it) and that tradition uh. kinda stopped#i have very fond memories! i'd like to go to one again someday! perhaps with friends!#so when i was thinking 'what modern day profession would suit poppy' i do think owning a high english tearoom would fit#theres also just a level of personal influence to that ahaha#also if i went to a nice tearoom and the owner was a gorgeous 6'8 woman. ough. thats all im gonna say about it. ough <3#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#sally likes to waltz into the tearoom while poppy is working to buy One (one) little box of tea and also flirt over the counter for an hour#and there's an upstairs room reserved for Poppy & her friends!!#it's free for them to use at any time!#though they still always pay. they have a lil game with poppy where she tries her best to refuse#but they manage to sneak the payment past her anyway#or they so happen to 'leave a tip that just so happens to be the exact payment' on their chair#on top of the tearoom she also supplies some baked goods for Howdy's shop#it was something they started when she was first getting her lil business off the ground#it evolves into just 'poppy bakes a batch of muffins as her morning ritual and sends them to howdys'#she supplies more when she can! or when she stress bakes! or when she and frank stress bake together! the entire group gets fresh tasties!
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I am replaying Pokemon Violet and just like… there’s no getting around it: the Team Star plot is just stupid and badly written.
#the ENTIRE TEACHING STAFF RESIGNED#and ONE random student somewhere mentions it????#your school head girl never mentions it???#no one is like ‘yeah this school’s a bid dodge recently something happened that made EVERYONE RESIGN#like for it to be that bad every single kid is gonna know about this epic epic bullying problem.#and yet!#everyone just seems oblivious?#and then at the start there’s genuinely no way to get around the fact that a couple of Team Star members#are right there trying to bully Penny into joining them.#like I thought the plot was gonna be ‘united to fight bullies but lived long enough to see themselves become the bad guys’#but no! the behaviour your character literally witnesses is never mentioned again!!#also they forced some Pokemon to evolve to power their silly star mobiles so fuck Irsa in particular#(sorry I am using a mishmash of their English and German names)#Irsa’s the fire one.#and the fact that this plot is in the same game as Pepper’s??#like the contrast in how good the story telling is is SO STARK
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my friend: you're pretty smart
me: I confuse the fridge with the microwave
#no. i dont heat things on the microwave. i confuse its names. like i KNOW their functions but i always mix their names#I do this in spanish so often that everyone knows what im talking about. in english happens too tho#this was a problem when i had to heat the agarose gel in the microwave and i was like “im gonna put this in the fridge”
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Heaven
Fallarien falls to ruin Under the cold hands of Hannes And the tolling of the church bells The people's cries like a choir For the prompt : Sound Torture [ @badthingshappenbingo ]
read on AO3
or down here, I'm not your boss
.
The church bells toll a solemn note The voice of God Now silent Come hither, come, children of God The church bells call as every day
Choir of one, as Hannes sings And dances still, Apocalpse Dancing, singing in her cold hands Whispering God’s words to her ears
“Holy daughter of Fallarien,” The people cry, In despair “Why do you feel no pain for us ? Why inflict us such cruel ends ?”
The church bells toll, and Hannes sings Indifferent to all but God The sweet song of Death, that her sword Sings, in time with her pas-de-deux
“Swans sing before they die,” she says Like a curse for Fallarien Fallen to ruin for its sins The spring of Lourdes dry as stone
“Holy daughter and miracle,” A moaning voice, Weeping “Why ?” As the bells toll, and Hannes sings The solemn note of punishment
The flames of hell melting down flesh The people cry, in pain, “It hurts” And still the song of God’s angel Slicing through bone as the bells toll
“It sounds like Heaven,” Hannes thinks
#bad things happen bingo#the epic of zektbach#yumi writes#hannes farrugia#apocalypse dirge of swans#poetry#i love !!! poetry !!!#dont know anything about english poetry rules tho#so this is octosyllabes like i would do in french#no rhymes tho. too hard for me in english#had a bit of fun with 'fallarien'#once said as a place with 3 syllabes#once as 'fall to ruin' play of words in 4#well long story short i had fun with this one#even if maybe 2 ppl are gonna read it lmao#in the end what matters is staying silly :3
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Entitled customers are funny, imagine kicking up such a fuss with our managers that 2 mall security guards had to be called to come mediate all because you and your wife not only can't read but also can't see that our menu literally serves soft poached egg, not a boiled egg, in our Japanese rice bowls
Anyway read the menu properly y'all and ask questions if you're unsure, don't be a dick to hospitality workers especially over dumb shit
#this happened yesterday during boxing day#it was truly hilarious to me#this lady came to complain about our egg not being boiled fully#to which my managers were like 'yeah our menu only serves soft boiled it's shown and written very clearly on it'#but apparently this lady wasn't happy with that answer cause she left and then sent her husband back with the bowl to argue!!!!#and my managers were like nah we're gonna call security to mediate cause this guy legit just kept raising his voice#anyway in the time span of waiting for security to show up#this guy literally pulls his phone out to record a negative review of us which lmao alright#and then proceeds to tell customers looking at our menu to not order from us cause we've got bad food#they still ordered from us anyway with 1 customer saying to my coworker that they hoped he left soon cause he was making them uncomfortable#anyway security shows up and them + the guy + my managers talk for like 10+ minutes#with this guy apparently mentioning at one point that he wants us shut down#just to remind y'all if you're reading this that this is all over a soft boiled egg that is very clearly shown on the menu#and the whole thing ended with 1 of the security coming in to the shop to watch us remake the bowl without the egg#because apparently the guy was afraid we'd do something to his bowl#security looked done with this and apologised to us for this guy being so rude#also before anyone says anything both this guy and wife were fluent in English so it wasn't a matter of them not being able to read our men#and also again our bowls show a very obvious not hard boiled egg#anyway i hope they had an awful day afterwards for being such entitled dicks to us
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I miss my old coworkers!!! I miss having friends at work instead of passive aggressive assholes who don’t want to train me and then get annoyed when I don’t know things and act like my very existence irks them!!!!
#if this was part time I’d be able to handle it#but 9 hours a days day after day is genuinely putting me in the worst mindset I’ve had in months#like I go to my car during my break and sit there pushing tears back bc I feel alone and shunned!!!#and these are GROWN ASS WOMEN??#one of my old coworkers came in to pick up a medication the other day and when I saw her my entire body literally slumped with relief#like omg someone I know who doesn’t hate me!!!!#and we had a quick convo bc she was updating me on work tea and I was like wow I haven’t felt this happy since i started this job#almost 2 weeks ago and that was such a sad reality check lmfao#and like the only reason I got this job is bc I’m bilingual and they desperately needed that#and it’s like okay do you realize you need me?? bc I’m there most of the week the other bilingual girl is only there twice a week#and 99% of your clients don’t speak English so what’s gonna happen if I leave??#you’re going to have to find someone else and train THEM from the bottom just like me#you’re gonna be in the same position all over again!!!#this is all so infuriating
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i can't believe they made me speak french in the oral exam
#IT'S DONE#i don't know fellas i have no idea what impression of me they got#i stumbled a lot and contradicted myself so :(#also they told me how it was gonna go and they were like 'first we'll ask you stuff about the written exam. then you'll tell us about#your phd project and we'll talk about it. and then there's the second language exam :)'#and in my brain all alarms went off#i remember in the application i think i selected spanish as second language because the other options were like. french and german#and they were like. so french in your case right! cause spanish is not your second language :)#and i was sure!#(the last time i spoke french i was 17 in high school)#they made me read a text in french and then translate it#they saw me struggle so much in english that half-way through the translation they went 'you can translate it in spanish we'll understand'#and it went so much smoother from there on lol#anwyays. i have no idea what'll happen. i'll know next monday
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Life is so cruel because Kino no Tabi is so good but I can’t even recommend the books to anyone because only the first volume was ever translated and it’s been out of print for presumably over a decade. Plus part of what makes it so good are untranslatable (into English) qualities of the Japanese language such as the general avoidance of gendering Kino. What other book has a motorcycle get into an argument with a dog
#apparently the theory is that the jp publishers got mad that the English publishers changed the chapter order#which tbh I understand I really do#honestly I hate it when kino’s backstory is presented first because it doesn’t allow you to form your own opinions on them beforehand#kino no Tabi#kino’s journey#taking matters into my own hands and translating it myself to put online for all to read#I mean hey that’s what happened with no. 6 right#I still can’t believe that one never got licensed in English#like it definitely had the popularity back when the anime came out#and the manga is fully translated#why not the novels#I still need to read them though that’s gonna be my summer project#kino no Tabi rewired my brain I’ve never felt so capable of reading in Japanese before#I mean sometimes it still kicks my ass but in general I’m having a reasonable time with it language wise
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🟩 Dos mods do Cellbit/🟥 From Cellbit's mods/🟨 De los mods de Cellbit:
🟩 Voltaremos quando o Cellbit voltar de Los Angeles/🟥 We'll return when Cellbit gets back from Los Angeles/ 🟨 Volveremos cuando Cellbit regrese de Los Ángeles ❤️
🟩 O que provavelmente será amanhã ou no final desta semana. Na segunda-feira ele mencionou que poderia tentar entrar no QSMP para conhecer o novo criador coreano Jungryeok, mas ele não disse nada definitivo.
🟥 Which will likely be tomorrow or later this week. He mentioned yesterday that he might try to log onto QSMP for the new Korean creator Jungryeok but didn't say anything definitive.
🟨 Que probablemente será mañana o más tarde esta semana. El lunes mencionó que podría intentar entrar el QSMP para conocer al nuevo creador coreano Jungryeok, pero no dijo nada definitivo.
#cellbit#when will he be live#<- gonna be the tag for whenever the schedule changes. maybe.#first real update since people are probably wondering when he'll go live this week#i think his flight back was yesterday (hence the time sensitive stream) so he is probably back home#it's just a matter of whether he feels up to streaming yet or not tomorrow#also how do people feel about this in terms of translations and formatting#is it obnoxious to do it like this or does it work#bc i dont want to like put everything in english at the top and then every other language below if i can help it#like for transcripts it'll probably be different but it just depends#and im not sure if i'll always be able to do translations depending on the post it's a lot and again i'm not fluent#but anyway. here's this#also i'm gonna put his usual stream schedule in the pinned eventually i just wasn't really expecting to make an updates account and then#well it happened#i can also emoji code translations maybe? like do it based off the lang colors on twitter (so its not country based)#so red = eng yellow = esp green = ptbr#i dont speak french well enough to translate for that so unless someone wants to help with that it'll just be those three usually#anyway im overthinking this to the max here you go he might be live tomorrow he might not#mod bell
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I’d like to thank the latinx community for informally adopting me but please stop speaking to me very fast in fluent spanish. it makes me scared
#just walked into a pizza shop and the guy goes ‘hello’ *looks up* ‘HOLAAA!!!’#woof#this is like the fourth time this has happened this year. gotta learn spanish at this point!!!#this happened to me in JORDAN. in the MIDDLE EAST. brother I’m wearing a kuffiyeh!!!!#we’re probably cousins!! what do you mean you clocked me as Mexican 😭😭!!!#im going to cdmx next month and i am so cooked. they are not gonna let me get away with English
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